Tumgik
#and also if irl alcoholism bothers you stop reading now
Text
Sushi and Gold [Sanzu Haruchiyo]
Masterlist If you want, here are a few playlists to listen to as you read this chapter: (*) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzNVF2aoifs&t=1239s (**) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjpc8nqmdrs&t=1925s I am fully aware that Noda Tadao, a made-up person, is not the owner of Ginza Ichibun, an actual restaurant. Though that is the case, I don't like using real ppl names. Makes me feel weird lol. Also, everyone say thank you to my irl friend, sweets, who proofread this massive chapter despite it being New Year's Eve :D
----------------------
(*) ‘My eyes feel heavy’
I open my eyes only to see the passenger window, the tinted window made the city look darker than it is, saving me the headache of having to look through several glaring lights. My eyes shift attention to look at my reflection, irritated as I notice the heavy bags underneath my eyes. Though even more annoying was the identity of the silhouette driving me, so much so that I couldn’t help but let out a tiring groan.
I wipe a hand under my chin only to see small traces of vomit on the palm of my hand once I had retracted it. The vehicle had a faint smell of vomit, drugs, and alcohol to it, no doubt permeating from me.
‘This is the second time this month.’
The sound of the night city had been faintly drowned out, a soft and sad sounding, an English song playing from the car’s radio filling the silence between me and my driver; Yukioto.
From the reflection, I could faintly see her tapping her pointer finger to the rhythm of the song before slowing down the car and stopping as she and a few other cars wait for the green light. “Good evening boss.” It seemed she noticed me staring at her, even if it was through the reflection of the window.
“The other executives couldn’t find you, and you weren’t answering your phone, so a few of us were sent out to find and bring you back.” she voiced out, before shifting her eyes back to the road and the stoplight. Her form was relaxed, seemingly not bothered about the whole situation. ‘She wanted nothing to do with me four months ago.’ I thought before shifting my body to sit in a more comfortable situation, this time facing the road.
“Ueno is pretty far from the Casino. You found me just like that, or did you install a tracker on me after the 7th pick-up?” She chuckled a bit at this before moving the car forward again after the green light showed. “Taito City was my 4th stop. I checked Shinjuku, Kabukicho, and Roppongi. I didn’t know you frequented a bar in Ueno, it was Sir Rindou who told me.” A tsk leaves me after hearing it was Rindou who snitched on me. ‘I changed locations to get away from you’.
I don’t know what her deal is, but she keeps on finding me whenever I go off and do my own thing. Not only that but she had never complained during these drives, which had been going on for nearly 4 months now. ‘I’d be pretty pissed off if I had to drive around the entirety of Tokyo looking for a druggy, only for him to vomit on me for the second time that month’ A sigh leaves me.
“So this time you searched for me, for like what, 3 hours? The others must be paying you a lot for you to babysit me” she chuckled again at this, shifting her eyes to look at me. “I volunteered,” she says before adjusting the volume of the radio when we get to a busier part of the road. “Awe, do you like me?” I ask playfully, not expecting any answers from a very obvious joke.
“Honestly? No, not really” She answers. My brows lifted in shock at this as she continues to do her job, not seeing anything wrong with what she just said. “Damn, I knew you hated me and all that but you didn’t have to say it outright,” I said irritated turning my head to the passenger window again after blatantly being disrespected.
She laughs at my reaction before starting again “It’s not that I hate you, boss. I kinda find it relaxing just driving around Tokyo with you”. “Then why the rude confession?” I ask, turning my head slightly back to her.
“I can’t like something I know nothing about, boss. That would just be me lying don’t you think?’ she says before throwing me a look that just screamed. “I telorate your-” “Tolerate” I corrected her as she laughs the mistake off before continuing. “I tolerate your presence, and I’m enjoying your company, but I can’t say that I like you because I don’t know anything about you. Nothing, outside your name and your apparent substance abuse” I scoff at the last part, rolling my eyes at her small jab.
“Don’t you get tired of it?” I ask, gauging her reaction. A confused look shows on her face, not quite knowing as to what I’m referring to. I move my hand to gesture to my sleep-deprived face, my slightly crumpled Eikokuya suit, the slight smell of liquor and vomit that permeated from me, and my Yohei Fukuda dress shoes, which I’m pretty sure had bits of puke still left on the foot of my shoe.
“Like I said I don’t know anything about you. It’s also my job to make sure you’re okay, so I put up with it” I raise a brow at this, not seeing the correlation between the two. She notices this and clarifies her answer “It’s my job as your driver, and maybe future valet, to make sure you’re okay, and that you get transported to where you need to be. I can’t drive someone to their destination if they’re dead can I?” she laughs before she continues.
“ I don’t know you, therefore I can’t judge as to why you do take drugs. Happy people don’t usually take drugs, and that’s because they don’t need it. I won’t blame another person if that’s how they like to cope. I only ever judge if taking drugs makes them violent and end up hurting innocent people” A bitter laugh leaves me after the last sentence. “Then I guess you do hate me” I mutter.
“How come?’ she asks, slowing the car down when going over the crosswalks. “Drugs does a lot when it comes to heightening your bloodlust” I voice, coming into eye contact with her briefly when she turned her head slightly to face me. “Isn’t that your job though?” “The killing?” I ask, not knowing where this could be going. She nods and I hum in confirmation. “Then it’s not the drug’s fault is it?’ she says before turning to look at me as if that were obvious.
“So you don’t care that I kill to make a living?” I ask amused by this. “We gotta do what we gotta do,” she says before shrugging her shoulders. “Besides I’ve been your driver for four months now, not to mention sir ran and sir rin’s for two more. I’m not exactly a saint so I can’t judge too much” She snickers at this before reaching down to her pocket and giving me a small pack of wet tissues.
I eye the packet in her hand before looking back at her. She took note of my confusion before gesturing to her face. "You wiped your chin before," she says, referring to when I woke up and found small traces of vomit near the bottom of my jawline.
I take the pack of wet wipes from her and proceeded to clean my face, my hands, and the foot of my right shoe of puke, before stuffing it in the empty wrapper of a chocolate wafer snack shoved in the door pocket.
ChocoMucho° Milk chocolate; Caramel; Wafer Roll; Cereal Crispies
ChocoMucho
Mucho
' Happy people don’t usually take drugs, and that’s because they don’t need it.'
A scoff unintentionally left me, but thankfully Yukioto didn't seem to care that much about it. I look to the window again seeing the different shops and signs passing by as we drove, lights bled and blurred before you could make sense of the words written. This had continued for a moment or two before my eyes catch the cart of a street vendor selling takoyaki.
"I'm hungry" I complain, my head still turned to the window. A hum of acknowledgment leaves Yukioto "Do you have anything in mind?" I think about my options for a bit before settling on something "I'm craving sushi" I answer, repositioning myself and putting a particularly good restaurant in the car GPS. "I'll pay for you so don't worry about it" I continue before leaning back to my seat.
"Nice, it's been a while since I've had sushi," she says, lightly tapping her stomach with her left hand to exaggerate. It was only then that I paid closer attention to her clothing, more so her shirt in particular.
"Nice shirt" "Really? I think so too. Sir bought it for me," she says her eyes momentarily shifting from the road and to the shirt, her left hand going down to pinch and feel the soft black fabric of it. "Sir?" I ask not knowing who in particular that could be. "Sir Ran" she clarifies, a smile appearing on her lips.
"Oh yeah! You drove him around a few times, haven't you? I remember both he and his brother gushing out about how you drove them out of a shitty situation" This made her eyes brighten a little bit more, seemingly happy that the Executives think of her driving as great enough to talk about to others. "I'm glad they liked my driving, I was worried they hated me bc I drove too roughly back in Shimada," she says, a nervous chuckle leaving her as her left-hand scratches the back of her head.
"It's pretty obvious they think highly of you given the fact that what you're wearing right now is a MIYAGIHIDETAKA bandana shirt" I pointed out, propping up my chin with the palm of my hand.
"Is that a big brand? I don't know too much about clothing brands, to be honest. I usually just spend money on accessories and jewelry back in the day" she awkwardly chuckles at this before jokingly continuing "I like shiny things".
"You do?" I ask, a bit shocked considering she's not wearing any accessories right now. 'But now that she mentions it' I thought before studying her features even more. With her hair tied up, you can see now how many holes she's had pierced on her ears, around 7-8 of them if you count both ears. 'And yet she hasn't got a single earring worn, must be broke because of prison'
It's not before we pull up to the restaurant. Ginza Ichibun. With our growing appetite, we wasted no time going out of the car, but Yukioto seemed to falter for a moment. "What's wrong?" I ask, expecting the worst. "Doesn't this restaurant require you to make a reservation first?" She voiced her concern.
' Damn, and here I am thinking you just saw someone point a gun at me.' "I have my ways," I say, a grin showing on my face before waving my hand forward gesturing her to continue walking in the direction of the restaurant.
"You've been here before?" I ask, she opened the front door for me to go through. "I have, a few others and I ate dinner here this one time" she replies a fond smile appearing on her face.
"So you're getting along with the other drivers here in Bonten?"She looks at me confused for a moment before finally letting out a small laugh once she understood. "I meant before Bonten, boss. My team and I got dinner here when we got spoiled by our sponsor." She says smiling again. 'So you lived a high profile life,' that's interesting to think about.
"You--" "Sanzu-san!" I get cut off with a happy greeting from the restaurant's owner, Noda Tadao. He was a chubby man in his early sixties but doesn't look a day older than 40. He had a great sense of style when it came to both cooking and fashion, and I was pretty sure that was his secret in how he maintained looking young. Noda has also been a devoted Bonten follower, having been one of the first few businesses that had been, and still is, under Bonten's protection when the gang first started.
"Noda-san!" I greet back as we make small talk to one another, how the restaurant has been, how the weather had been faring, how bidding for quality tuna had been getting more expensive recently 'I'll have to look into that.' I thought.
"Oh, where are my manners, you must be starving! Come come, and have your guest come with you. You'll be thrilled to know that we recently bought the meatiest salmon there was on the market" He says before motioning the both of us to sit at the table.
We hadn't been the only ones in the establishment, but thankfully they minded their business. The room was lit in a beautiful yellow light and the L-shaped table was still smooth to the touch despite them having owned the table for what felt like years now. It was then when we were both seated did the sushi chef pass us the menu for today.
"I shouldn't bother you too much while you're eating, I do hope you have a lovely time Sanzu-san" I nod at Noda, an appreciative smile on my face before he takes his leave. It was a few moments after skimming the menu did I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I turn my head to face Yukioto, who had a look of awe on her features when she looked at me.
"You're really cool, Boss" she whispers making sure not to bother the other clients. The fact that I could just walk up to any fine dining establishment and eat without a reservation was astonishing to Yukioto, and she made sure to express that sentiment to me by looking awestruck. I let out a small laugh at this before motioning the sushi chef to me and placing my order. "Well if you continue to hang out with me more, you'll know that I'm super awesome," I say half-jokingly before letting her give her order to the chef.
The food had been amazing as always, and the temperature had been turned up a bit to battle the cold august air outside. The yellow lighting was nice, having bathed everything including the walls, the table, the food, Yukioto, in a warm sunny glow.
She and I talked a bit more, getting to know one another in the most mundane of things. "Why the centipede tattoo?" "I just thought they were cool, they're like snakes but with a lot of legs". "Why the pink suit?" " I went to the tailor with Ran and Rin. They picked out the style for me". We talked about how great this dish was, how that one was a bit too spicy for me, how she was allergic to shrimp and had to give her dish to me, so on and so forth. It had been a lovely time, just laughing with one another and knowing what the other thought of at the time.
The rain had started sometime during dinner and without an umbrella to share, we ran to the car. I had covered my head with the jacket of my suit while she had pulled up the back of her shirt to cover hers. The sound of our shoes running against wet pavement, and the sound of our carefree laughter filled the sidewalk before we took refuge in the car.
Once we sat down on our seats another set of laughter was coaxed out of us, laughing at the absurdity of it all. Yukioto half-heartedly complained about her now dirty white puma shoes and I do the same in regards to my dress shirt, now soaked on the upper half portion of the fabric.
(**) The mood was light-hearted, everything seemed to be where it needed to be. The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the roof of the car, the muffled sound of wet pavement, and the plashing of water as the car tires go through it, and a muffled lone strike of thunder could be heard as the rain continued to pour. Several vendors and shops had started closing down for the night, bulbs being turned off as the light of the streetlamps grow brighter. People could be seen going in and out of shops in haste, needing shelter or in a rush to get to their vehicles. The car slowed down for a bit as we followed behind another, car lights shining and giving life to the otherwise lonely road.
At the corner of my eye, I see a jewelry shop, still bright and open for business. “Yukioto-san, stop here.” A hum of acknowledgment leaves her before she turns the car around to park in front of it. I take off my seatbelt and put my hand on the car handle before noticing Yukioto not doing the same, her hands were both on the steering wheel with only her head tilted in my direction.
I motion my head out, signaling for her to come along. “C’mon I need your help with something” She nods her head at this before turning off the car and taking off her seatbelt. We both ran to the store, both our clothes and shoes become more soaked.
A small bell rings along with our laughter once we get inside. A greeting was given by the attendant work and Yukioto nods in her direction. She proceeds to wipe her shoes on the doormat and I do the same unconsciously, before looking around the place. Her eyes seemed to have the brightest stars trapped in them and I chuckle at this before going deeper into the store.
We went in different directions, but the establishment was small so I could always see her from the corner of my eye. I went to the display cases that held earrings in them looking for what I thought to be the best fit. They had come in different designs, materials, colors, and gems, though one, in particular, caught my eye.
It was a set of gold drop earrings that dangled a small bit from the ear, and at the end held a small sun charm. Accompanying them were a pair of small stud earrings made of the same material, but instead of a sun charm, they had on them a crescent moon for design.
I call over the attendant before pointing to the product. Having already chosen I make my way over to Yukioto, only to see her eyeing a necklace displayed in the left-hand corner of the shop. It was a thin gold necklace that held a small gold charm, warped to look similar to that of the shape of an olive. In the upper point of the shape laid a small diamond held in place with the same gold of the design.
Her eyes had been fixated on it, not noticing my presence from behind her shoulder. I call the attendant over and that seemed to snap her out of it. I tell the employee to bring this one to the counter as well and this seemed to shock Yukioto.
“Why are you looking at me like that? It was obvious that I’d buy you something from here right at the start” I pointed out before grinning after seeing her look more taken aback by this. “I thought you were buying something for a lover of your’s” I burst out laughing after this statement, her face becoming more confused by the second. “I’m glad you think of me as someone who can hold a relationship, but even you, whose obligation is to look after me, are having a hard time keeping up. I’d pity the woman who would actually be my girlfriend.” I joked before motioning her to come with me to the counter.
Having signed and checked the quality of the products up close, I pull out my black card and paid for the accessories. Yukioto seemed to look at the necklace anxiously, most probably thinking about how she could pay me back. Noticing this I sigh before motioning her closer to me.
She does so, and I take out the necklace from its foam casing and slip it on her. I move her hair away and take out the earrings, attaching them to her as she stood still, after which I took a step back and looked at her from a distance. The patterns on her shirt drowned out the necklace a bit, but both the necklace and the earring looked good on her.
I ask for the attendant to just put the casings in the bag as Yukioto would be wearing them instead of putting them back. She nods at this before doing as she was told before swiping my card and giving it back to me along with the receipt.
The rain had let up just a tiny bit while we were shopping and we ran back to the vehicle after putting the bag under my suit jacket to make sure it stays relatively dry. Once inside I had noticed the change of mood and atmosphere from before. It was no longer the carefree and light ambiance we had before the gift. ‘Did I mess up? Should I not have bought her a gift? Was that too much? But technically she’s been helping me for months now so this was just a small payment in return for her services. Should I take it back?’ I thought, but before I could retract the sentiment I get cut off.
“Thanks, boss. You’re pretty awesome” Her face had been turned away from me, making me unable to properly know what type of expression she had been wearing. Although judging from the light shade of red that showed at the tips of her ears gave enough of a hint as to what she was feeling.
Noticing this I scoff, a light blush going over my cheeks before turning away from her -and to the passenger window- to hide it. “Told you,” I say, and this seemed to pull a small laugh from her before she starts the car and drives away from the store.
0 notes
duskholland · 3 years
Note
Y/n has a disagreement with frat!tom, she drowns her sorrows and then frat!tom takes care of drunk y/n
ah...a classic. cw: alcohol + angst w a happy end. pls don’t do this irl--communication is key in any balanced relationship! don’t drown your sorrows <3
frat!tom night !!
*:·゚✧*:·゚✧ *:·゚✧*:·゚✧ *:·゚✧*:·゚✧
Tom: I’m sorry Tom: I didn’t mean to upset you Tom: can you just text me back Tom: please
You drag your index finger over the lock-screen of your phone, giggling slightly as you watch Tom’s texts wobble. Your eyes are tired and unfocused, your head spinning, and your objective of getting absolutely hammered has been well and truly achieved. You’d surpassed your limits an hour ago, if you’re being honest with yourself, but your bottle of tequila had been calling your name, and now you’re out of your mind. You’re just glad that your roommate is at her boyfriend’s for the night so she doesn’t have to witness your heartbroken breakdown.
Another two texts bumps up to the top of the screen, startling you.
Tom: I’m worried about you Tom: can you just let me know that you’re okay?
You sigh loudly, then begrudgingly pick up your phone. You open the texts sent from Tom, your boyfriend — or, ex-boyfriend…? — and read over them again, eyes hazy. You decide not to reply, and to instead leave him on read, because what else are you supposed to do?
With a heavy sigh, you lie back on the floor and stare at the ceiling of your dorm. You groan as you think over the events of the day again, your mind heavy and lethargic.
It’d been a stupid argument with Tom, about god knows what. Spring break, you think. He’d changed his mind last minute, and instead of going to Mexico with you and a few friends, he now wants to go back to London to spend time with his family. He also wants you to go back with him, to meet his parents and his brothers, and, in typical Tom fashion, had failed to mention that he’d changed your flights on your behalf.
It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is you’d spent a very unpleasant thirty minutes at the frat house earlier, exchanging sour words of disapproval with your boyfriend, who couldn’t be bothered to hear your side of the story. You’d ran away when you’d realised you were just going in circles, and now you’re here: red-eyed, drunk, and alone. The realisation makes you hiccup, and you feel your eyes well up again.
There’s a loud knock at the door, and you startle.
“Fuck,” you mutter, quickly standing up. You toss the bottle of alcohol under a blanket and wipe at your eyes, cursing yourself for looking like such a mess. You hope it’s just a neighbour, concerned about the breakup song playlists and the loud volume of your crying, and not an RA about to bust you for possession of alcohol in a college dorm.
It turns out to be neither, and you scowl as you open the door just to see Tom standing beyond it. His eyes snap up, his expression springing into one of surprise as if he hadn’t expected you to open the door. There’s a light blue beanie sitting on his head, but he whips it off and holds it between his hands as he rocks back on his feet and swallows
“Y/N…. Look, I’m so sorry.” He looks so small, with his figure covered in grey sweats and a white t-shirt. He has a red jacket shrugged over the top too, but his posture is slumped and diminished. His eyes are pink. “I was such a twat. I don’t want us to break up over this, and I don’t want you to hate me, either. I’m sorry.” His gaze narrows as his eyes twist over your figure. “Wait, are you drunk?”
Your eyes bulge, and you instinctively reach out to grab his arm. You jerk him into your room, chastising him in a loud whisper about the presence of your pesky RAs, and then you lean back against the door, facing the main body of the room where Tom’s now pacing.
“You shouldn’t be here,” you manage, tongue feeling thick in your mouth.
Tom finds the bottle of tequila you’d thrown in your bed as he straightens up the duvet, turning on you with a frown on your face.
“You shouldn’t be drinking on a Tuesday night,” he mutters. “Is this my fault?”
You shrug. “No,” you say. “Pretty sure I’m the one who did the drinking.”
Tom winces, then slowly takes off his jacket. He approaches you gently, extending two hands towards you.
“I’m sorry,” he says, voice exhausted. You hate how heartbroken he looks, so you reach out and join together your fingers, pulling him a little closer. Tom walks all the way to you, folding into you until he’s squeezing your hands and has his forehead pressed against yours. “I’m sorry for being a dick, and not speaking to you about spring break first.” His thumbs run over the backs of your hands. “And I’m also sorry for being a twat and not listening to you properly.”
You have to close your eyes, finding it too hard to focus on his face when it’s pushed so near to you.
“I’m too drunk to have this conversation with you,” you mutter. You drop one of his hands and feel him freeze before you shift it up to his hair. You’re quiet as you play around with his brown curls, finding comfort in the familiar softness. “I’m sorry too, though. I feel like shit. I shouldn’t have been so angry about it all…” You break off, feeling your eyes water as your voice thickens. It’s just a whisper as you add, softer, “I don’t want to lose you over this, Tom.”
He pulls back, and you’re able to meet his eyes as he reaches up to cup your warm cheeks in his hands. You aren’t angry anymore—now that he’s here, looking at you so softly, you just want to move on and fall straight back into his arms.
“You’re not losing me, darling. You could never lose me,” he murmurs. He leans in and kisses your forehead softly, letting his lips linger there for a moment. “Let’s get you in bed, yeah?”
You nod. “Okay,” you agree, suddenly feeling very attached to the idea of curling up beneath the covers and sleeping.
“Wait, wait.” Tom’s gentle hold on your waist makes you stop. “Bathroom first. You’ve still got makeup on.”
You pout as you coo, nodding. “Can you take it off for me?”
“Of course, love.”
You’re glad for the en-suite in your room. Despite it being a tight fit, Tom’s able to come in with you. He sits you on the closed toilet seat and tenderly dabs at your face, stripping back the smudged makeup as he cracks a few light jokes and murmurs soft words of praise. He watches as you brush your teeth, standing behind you with his arms wrapped around your front, lips brushing over your neck in featherlight kisses as he meets your eyes in the mirror and your heart flutters in your chest. Despite your complaints, he even convinces you to down two glasses of water.
“Aren’t you getting in too?” You whine. He’s standing beside your single bed, hands on the top of the duvet as he finishes tucking you in. You do your best to look innocent and fragile, blinking up at him through wide eyes. “It’s cold…”
Tom hesitates.
“Do you want me to?” He asks. When you nod your head enthusiastically, he smiles softly. “I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow morning and realise that it’s not what you wanted.”
You shake your head. “I won’t,” you say, knowing it to be true. “Just… if you’re worried about overstepping, don’t kiss me or anything. I won’t be mad if you sleep here.”
He smiles as if he finds the compromise agreeable, then kicks off his shoes and pulls off his shirt. You try to wolf whistle, only for the sound to come out flat and failed, and he laughs loudly.
“Did you just try to whistle at me?” He teases.
“No.”
“Are you lying?”
“Maybe.”
Tom slips into bed beside you. It’s a tight fit, but you’ve spent enough nights together on your single mattress to know exactly what you have to do. You don’t hesitate to curl into his side, throwing a leg over his body as you rest your face against his arm and press your hand to his chest. Tom reaches over and flicks off the lamp before wrapping his arms around you, holding you close.
“I love you,” he says, the moment it’s dark and you’re both settled. “I love you so much, baby.”
You coo, unable to control the unruly smile that tugs at your lips.
“Love you too, Tom,” you murmur. “You’re so warm.”
He chuckles, light fingers rubbing circles over the top of your arm. “And you’re just lovely.”
You melt, burrowing your head further into his side. Beneath your palm, you can feel his heartbeat, pulsing gently.
“You know, the only reason I was so mad earlier was because I was scared of meeting your parents,” you admit, voice soft. “It’s not because I don’t want to spend time with you, Tommy. I do. All the time. But it’s scary to think about how I could do something to fuck this up. It’s scary sometimes... to think about how much I love you.”
You feel his lips touch the top of your head.
“Do you want to know a secret?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m scared too. That’s why I changed the flights without speaking to you. I was scared you wouldn’t want to come with me and take the next step with me.” Tom breaks off, sighing. “I’m a fucking idiot, though. Still should’ve spoken to you about it.”
You hum gently. “As long as you look after me, and make sure I’m okay, then I’d love to come and meet your family.” You tilt your face up and lean closer until you’re able to deposit a clumsy kiss to his sharp jaw.
“Of course I’d look after you,” Tom assures. “But you don’t need to be scared. They’ll love you, because I love you, and I think you’re the most wonderful person in the world, Y/N.”
You curl in closer, stifling a yawn. “Love you too.”
“Precious,” he mumbles. You feel him urge you nearer, warm kisses falling over your head again and again. “Go to sleep, babe,” he urges. “I’ve got you.”
You sigh contentedly. “Will you still be here in the morning?” You whisper, relaxing fully into his hold.
“‘Course. I’ll even get you breakfast.”
You smile against his chest. “Fuck yeah,” you murmur. “G’night.”
“Night, princess.” Tom rests a hand on your arm, and you sink into it. “Sweet dreams.”
595 notes · View notes
currywaifu · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: save file 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: chigasaki itaru/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.0k words
𝐚𝐧: itaru event? itaru fic! me loving fake dating + direct af titles? nothing changed~ sequencing of events might be weird, oops~
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■■■■□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 2 LOADED
Itaru’s not the least bit surprised at the sight of your wrinkled nose; neither is he shocked at the crease that formed between your brows nor the narrowing of your eyes. It must be a lot to take in, truly, but it had to be done.
“Chigasaki-kun,” you said, immediately trailing off as though you couldn’t convey the rest of your thoughts. That was fine, he thought, he can wait for his SP to fill up for 100 minutes so surely he can wait a couple more minutes for your response.
It’s a bit embarrassing, but maybe he needs to explain a bit more? He doesn’t mind too much, he was putting you on the spot, after all.
“I know it’s sudden,” Itaru said apologetically, “but I need you. You’re the only one who can—“
“Chigasaki-kun,” you repeated, sounding firmer this time around. At this point, Itaru noticed that your eyes never left the cafe table that separated the two of you, or rather what laid right smack in the centre of it. As soon as he slid it towards you, your eyes had gone from wide and surprised to squinting, almost as though it had offended you.
He was so focused on your line of sight that he failed to notice the sudden rush of red that raced across your cheeks. After a moment of silence, you let out a deep breath.
“Why the fuck did you just give me a replica of Byleth’s ring from Fire Emblem?”
“Oh, don’t worry,” he dug through his pocket to bring out another ring, the exact same design, “I have another one.”
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■□□□□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 4 LOADED
“Hey, you made it! Thanks for coming, Chigasaki-sa—“ as he took in the sight of your locked hands, his co-worker let out a comically loud gasp, before trying and failing to cover it up with an awkward cough.
Itaru’s not stupid, at the very least he’s definitely not blind or deaf. Besides the gracious host, he can tell everyone is shocked and staring. They’re not even trying to be discrete about it anymore.
The people from his department had been gossiping for all of last week, creating speculations on his love life. The theories had a lot of exaggeration, a lot of denial.
You squeezed his hand a little tighter, him reciprocating to reassure you.
Envy. Judgement.
Still, as he glanced at your face to check for any sign of discomfort only to find a poised smile, he was once again reminded by your strength and fortitude. He always admired that from you, and it was always so enthralling to see that side of you in action.
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■■■■■□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 1 LOADED
“You’ll come, won’t you?” Itaru let out a quiet hum, yet refusing to answer immediately. Though he’d prefer to sit out of most gatherings, he particularly disliked going to non-essential get-togethers where the only real purpose was for his co-workers to eat and drink less restrained as they would with the higher-ups around.
Normally he would have some excuse conjured up, maybe even pretend to check his phone calendar and reject the invite apologetically. However, he had already skipped out three times, consecutively.
He already breached the three strikes and you’re out rule, and he’s not so sure risking going for four would be the smartest play for his reputation… but it probably wouldn’t hurt to save game and set aside his decision making for later.
“I’ll have to check my schedule. I just need to check with someone first,” he said, thinking back to the director and the rest of spring troupe. Would any of them give him an excuse he has yet to use?
“Ahh, feel free to bring your sister then!” the man paused, a small smirk appearing as his eyebrows waggled. “Unless you wanna bring, you know, a friend.”
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■■■■■■□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 2 LOADED
“You just don’t want to suffer alone,” you said, using your fork to prod at the meal he treated you to. Surely a one time gathering wasn’t all there is to it? Chigasaki Itaru, who always kept his life outside work private, suddenly wanting people to know he had a significant other?
Even though he didn’t?
“I’ve been to those— I know they suck,” you continued, your eyes darting away from the silver band to look at him properly, “will this even benefit you?”
“It’ll probably be annoying at first,” he replied, keeping eye contact to let you know how serious he was, “dealing with everyone’s questions, but they’ll eventually just accept it and stop bothering me.”
“What about me?”
“You work somewhere else— they won’t get the chance to bother you,” he pointed out, propping his elbow on the table as he rest his cheek on his knuckles. He continued seeing as you stayed silent, “plus, don’t you have anyone bothering you about your lack of a love life?”
In any other instance, you probably would have made a remark about him being too dedicated to his waifus to date as well, but you could only grimace as you recalled the upcoming family reunion. If your aunts teased you again for not being in a relationship… if your mom kept insisting that you were just hiding a secret boyfriend to delude herself…
“Fine, but in exchange—“
Itaru let out a chuckle, “so the matching rings aren’t enough? I’ll have you know, they’re Class A replicas.”
You snorted, “stop, stop! I’m being serious here!” you said, lightly kicking his feet from beneath the table. When he moved to retaliate, you hastily pushed your feet beneath your chair.
“Oi—“
“Just kidding, just kidding!“ he said, raising his hands up in surrender, “so, how can I help you?”
“… you up for a family reunion lunch on Sunday?”
Tumblr media
■■■■□□□□□□□□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 3 LOADED
“So, like, do we need to prepare any— dude, dude, dude what the…? This part of your island is—” Even without heading over to where you were, he immediately knew which area you were cackling about.
“That’s the nature dump! Obviously not gonna terraform it yet?” Itaru replied, “I need a place to place all the normie flowers?”
He heard you scoff, your animal crossing character running up to his and hitting him with a net.
“Not that dump, dummy! Why are there toilets? The fences— toilets—“ you trailed off, unable to help yourself from bursting back into laughter. He instinctively laughed alongside you, knowing the monstrosity you were talking about.
“What kind of idiot makes a pathway out of toilets?”
“Hey! They create a cool effect when you walk past it!” he said, defending himself as your character hit his on the head again, “kind of like a clam opening up—“
“It’s a toilet! Not a clam!”
“Ya? Well I, Taruchi, am a resident of Urinetown, subtitle: actually an island and not a town,” Itaru said, almost as if he was proud of himself. “Before you come from me, Urinetown is a musical about capitalism. What’s your excuse, Pen Island?”
You gasped, obviously fake but dramatic enough to continue your banter “I’ll have you know, the actual name is Pen Isles? Also, you named our Stardew Valley farm—“ you paused, as though realising something, “wait, wasn’t I going to ask you something?”
“… pfft, GJ.”
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■■□□□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 4 LOADED
Itaru watched you introduce yourself to the rest of the room, your words polite but brimming with a confidence that was rare to see from his friend turned pretend s/o… or at least, that was what he initially thought.
Maybe this side of you just so happened to be particularly evident tonight, ringing throughout your voice and exhibited by your body language; that didn’t mean it was hidden before this instance.
There was a certain charm to you. Always been, but he never really acknowledged it. It was the little things, like how you were never hesitant about adding to his commentary when you two played Co-Op, or the playfulness you showed from time to time, or your genuineness around him— kind, but not taking bullshit from him or anyone.
If he was reading the room right, he can’t blame them for being even a little bit enthralled with you.
Even if it didn’t exactly sit right with him.
“I didn’t know Chigasaki-kun was dating someone!” a brave soul piped up from the sidelines, probably vocalising what everyone else was holding back from saying. Huh, wasn’t she one of the people who fiercely denied the rumour that he was in a relationship?
He doesn’t miss the way the corners of your lips quirked downwards for a split second, before lifting back upwards as though it never happened.
“Well, Itaru can be a bit private,” you replied, a muffled but silvery giggle escaping escaping your lips, “though I suppose I’m a bit of the same? Might be why we’re compatible.”
The woman who asked flushed slightly, and he was sure it wasn’t from any alcohol consumed. Even still, he found himself mirroring the pink hue.
Itaru?
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■■■■□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 3 LOADED
“Itaru,” he repeated to you for the third time tonight.
“Shoot, sorry,” you apologised, making your animal crossing character portray your shock at your slip-up again. Lmao, that was cute. “Damn… it’s weird going from Chigasaki-kun to just Itaru.”
It was his turn to hit your character with a net.
“Taruchi isn’t that far from Itaru, and you call me that all the time,” he stated, snorting at the little huff that was somehow still audible on call.
“Calling you your IGN is way different though?” you protested, “I can’t just call you that in public?”
“Shame it might expose me irl,” he sighed in disappointment, “it would have been cute to have my gamer s/o go ‘uwu Taruchi, fighto!’”
“Hahhh? Was it ever cute any time I called you Taruchi?” you asked, incredulousness present in your tone as you proceeded to mock him, “uwu, Taruchi, fighto!… there, was that cute at all?”
Itaru’s hand slid up to cover his face, his growing smile lifting his cheeks upward. You were clearly just joking around, but, well, “who knows? Maybe if you said ‘Taruchi-sama, ganbatte! I’d be able to—“
“Itaru!” you interrupted, immediately making the human equivalent noise of a keyboard smash, your little avatar running around in circles as he imagined what expression your face had right now.
Amidst his unrestrained laughter, he managed to squeeze in his next sentence in parts. “You— you finally said it! Otsu~”
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■□□□□□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 4 LOADED
You had only called him ‘Itaru’ that one time, every other time being ‘Taruchi’ in private or ‘Itaru-kun’ in public. Still, hearing you say his name in person instead of on the phone made it feel like the first time again.
Luckily for him, he didn’t get that much time to dwell on it. Someone had lead you two to sit somewhere, surrounded by more of his polite and friendlier coworkers. Exchanging pleasantries with them was easy enough, as was answering questions about your relationship.
They’ve had multiple test runs after all. There was no way they were messing up any details, there was no room or possibility of either of them even fumbling.
“How long have you two known each other?”
“We’ve been friends since university,” you replied, something that was actually true, “it took years for me to even confess! I’m just glad Itaru accepted,” you gave him a purposeful glance, your bashful expression nearly enough to lead him to believe that you really did have a crush on him all this time.
“So you two have been together since—?”
“After my graduation,” Itaru supplied helpfully, “so it’s been a few years.”
“That’s so sweet! You know,” the woman in front of you lowered her voice, and you leaned in a little closer to listen in, “a lot of us were wondering if Chigasaki was dating anyone after we saw his ring. I thought it was just a fashion statement, but now I know it’s the real deal!”
She eyed the silver band on your ring finger, one that completely matched his.
“The rings are beautiful! The design is completely unique,” another person commented. Itaru felt your ring finger loop around his own, and the two of you turned to look at each other, sharing an amused grin.
If only they knew it was actually really well-done game merch.
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■■□□□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 2 LOADED
“What’s the point of the rings, though?” you asked, curious of just how far Itaru was taking this plan anyway.
“Do you not like it?” Itaru asked. Undeniably, he would be a bit upset if you ended up not liking the ring. After all, he bought it because—
“It’s lovely,” you said sincerely, carefully picking up the ring, “just surprised you already had rings on hand?”
He chuckled apprehensively, “I was going to save it as a friendship anniversary gift,” he explained, “I still feel a little guilty I didn’t get you anything last year.”
“You don’t have to get me anything anyway,” you said reassuringly, “but I appreciate it.”
He watched you slip the ring on your left ring finger, mouth opening up to apologise as he saw how loose the ring was on you, about to offer to have it resized immediately before you interrupted with quiet laughter.
“It’s a bit awkward right now, but I love it.”
Tumblr media
■■■■■■■■■■■□□□  NOW LOADING SAVE FILE 4 LOADED
The get-together was going really well, surprisingly. He still would have preferred to be in the comfort of his room, but your presence just made everything so much easier. Even the questions people threw at the two of you weren’t so bothersome, dodging the more nosy people and sticking with anything general.
It had somehow become a game between the two of you. It was like an act off, almost, of who could give the more impressive or heart fluttering statement. Whether it was for the sake of your audience or to just affect each other remains unsaid.
“What do you like about Itaru?”
You looked away from him, closing your eyes as though you were thinking. To be fair, anything real personality or gaming related was out of bounds. Would you cater your response to his work persona, or—
“Everything!”
He nearly choked on air, trying to ignore the urge to clutch at his heart.
“That’s no fair, give something more specific!”
“I do like everything about Itaru, though?” you said with a cute pout, “but I guess I like his kindness the most. He’s always so thoughtful and considerate. He’s a busy man, but he always finds the time to help me out when I need it.”
Everyone cooed at the two of them, but he found it difficult to concentrate on that when he could only cling onto the words that started to sound more and more real as the night went by.
Out of context, everything you said could be interpreted as you just being friendly, but there was something in the way you pronounced his name and the expression on your face as you talked about him that was… different.
“What about you, Chigasaki?”
Escaping from his thoughts, his mind was filled to the brim with thoughts, but the words refused to spill from his lips.
Was there a way to describe how captivated he was at your little quirks, from the random filler noises you’d make on call or text when words failed you, to the literal quirk of the corner of your lips as you shifted expressions.
Was there a way express his appreciation for sticking by him for years, regardless of his hidden side? Was there a way to express his gratefulness for the laughter rendered and the tears wiped off by you; the smile blooming on his face as he imitated your own subconsciously?
This was the one thing he couldn’t have a manual or guide to study, so he could only hope that he went with the right dialogue choice.
“Everything too, actually.”
■■■■■■■■■■■■■□  AUTOSAVING AUTOSAVE SUCCESSFUL!
Tumblr media
The drive back home was quiet. He was exhausted, and he could tell you were too, but as he neared your street his driving got slower and slower, almost unmoving. From the corner of his eye, he saw you fiddle with your ring, twisting it around your fourth finger before pulling it off completely.
“Oh, we’re here,” you said out loud, yet you didn’t make a move to reattach your seatbelt.
“Itaru.”
Oh, wow. If hearing it a while ago trumped hearing it over call, then hearing you murmur his name in private, with just the two of you present, was…
“You look like you have something on your mind,” you continued, “all throughout the whole get-together, actually. Are you okay?”
When everything about this, about you simultaneously felt so new yet so familiar to him, how could he possibly convey his feelings? His admiration, no, his love for you?
He took the ring from your grasp, and before you could question what was up, he had grabbed your hand as well. With a serendipitous conscientiousness, he slid the ring back onto your ring finger, admiring your rosy glow that managed to be visible even with how dark out it was outside.
“The things you said a while ago,” he began, some hesitance still remaining as his thumb glided over your ring, “sounded really convincing.”
You wouldn’t meet his eyes. For a few seconds the both of you kept silent, until you finally broke it off, “maybe I wasn’t lying in the first place.”
He stiffened, pausing his previous ministrations as you continued, “… were you?”
Looking back at the past week, he almost laughed. Other than already being in a relationship, was anything between the two of you ever a lie to begin with?
“I wasn’t, either,” he replied. Taking in a deep breath, your gaze finally locked with his, he took the next step.
“If… if I promise to always be there for you, to hold your hand, help you fight your battles, and shield you from attacks… would you have me?”
Tumblr media
want to order again?
234 notes · View notes
heloflor · 2 years
Text
As Time Passes Prologue : My Brother, part 1
AO3 link ; Prologue 1 (The Estate)
A collection of scenes from Vinnie’s early life. From his younger years as a toddler to his last years as a teen. From a life of fear to a life of uncertainty. From an abused child relying on the only good people in his life to a young adult determined to make things right for them.
TRIGGER WARNING : child abuse, violence, depression, mentions of drug and alcohol, infidelity. Basically anything that goes with messed up abusive parents. And to that regard, this fic is NOT made to romanticize abuse or mental illness ! There’s also a moment in part 2 mentioning a dystopic future with the urbanization of the world and its consequences on every species (it’s only one part and you see it coming). This also means mentions of animal abuse and LITERAL animal genocide !!
 .
Notes : Well, this took 8 months longer than expected…
Seriously. I started working on this chapter BEFORE “The Estate”, only deciding later to start with Cav’s backstory because it makes more sense given what I intend to write for chapters 3 and 4.
Though, that chapter is very, VERY long so that also explains the delay. And even despite the size, I feel like I tried to cram in too much elements and underdeveloped some stuff as a result. Like, that whole thing could be a fic in itself if I had enough ideas to fill the holes there and there.
On a lighter note, during that “hiatus”, I read the book “Wanderers” by Chuck Wending and one interlude gave me the idea of putting dates at the beginning of each new part of the story, which is going to come in VERY HANDY for the story (also the fact that the fic is called “As Time Passes” makes it even better).
As for the chapter itself, let’s just say that, after giving an idea of what Cavendish’s life used to be, now it’s time to show Dakota’s. Though, this chapter will be much longer and goes onto basically his entire life before B.O.T.T.. There are also a lot of dark stuff (as said in the trigger warning) because apparently my brain still hasn’t gotten past that teenager need to make anything as messed up as possible.
Regarding the sibling OCs, fun fact : the idea of Dakota having older siblings came partly from Tumblr and partly from my wish to have Dakota be an uncle due to how much the guy seems to love kids (but I don’t see him have his own, for reason that will be talked about in the main fic). Then, while listening to random songs and coming up with Dakavendish animations in my head (yeah I’m THAT kind of weirdo), I ended up listening to “A Guy Like You” from Disney Hunchback and suddenly Dakota had three siblings. Then all that needed to be done was give them a personality and choose which one would have a kid. And then make them all queer because I spend too much time on the internet.
Another thing about them, to make it easier at the beginning : there are four. And for the age-gap, as an example, the fic starts with the ages being 13 (Enzo “Enzie”), 9 (Bettina “Bettie”), 5 (Donatello “Donnie”) and 3 (Viviana “Vivie”/Vincenzo “Vinnie”).
(side-note about the writing at the beginning : using the wrong pronouns for a character is MUCH harder than I thought it would be)
Btw I don’t know how to draw so instead, if you want to see how the siblings look like, I made them in Miitopia (don’t ask). Here’s the link for it (just ignore my ramblings in this...).
Also, while the idea of him having siblings comes partly from my brain, the idea of Dakota being Italian is 100% from Tumblr and AO3 with like half the Dakavendish fandom who seems to follow this headcanon. Hell, I even have an irl friend who told me Dakota gives them a European vibe while I was telling them that one of the reasons people saw him as trans was his height.
(and I guess you could say the same thing about him having heterochromia and being colorblind ; all the credit for these two ideas goes to the fandom)
Btw, despite them being Italians, the dialogue is in english. In future chapters tho, depending on the character’s POV, some dialogue will either be in Italian or in English in italics.
And fun fact : while googling Italian names to help me name these characters, I discovered that there’s an Italian name that’s “Baldassare” and this is 100% how Dakota’s siblings and nephew/nieces would call Cavendish.
And one last “””fun””” fact : the character of Enzo is partly inspired by a guy I know who, by the age of 6, was the one to wake up, dress, feed, bring to school and overall raise his 4 younger siblings. And if you’re wondering, the guy is 23 now and is doing pretty fine (much, MUCH better than the shit I plan for my OC here). And no, the name of the OC isn’t inspired by this guy. I looked up random Italian names for each sibling + Vinnie’s dead name.
Anyways, onto the fic now. Enjoy !
.
.
.
January 10, 2134
  The morning started with their usual routine.
Vivie was sleeping soundly, her brother Donnie by her side, until their oldest brother Enzie came to wake them up. Vivie could hear her sister Bettie grumble, not helped by Enzie urging her to get up. He would always claim that, unlike the other two, she needed to be ready early. They didn’t go to school at the same hours. First it was Bettie, then Donnie, and finally Vivie was brought to the nursery.
Enzie also went to school. Bettie once said that Enzie always turned out late because his school started before them. But Enzie always insisted to take care of them first. The older brother didn’t like letting them alone with Mamma. And, truth be told, Vivie didn’t like it either.
Once Enzie reached their bed, Donnie pretended to still be sleeping and made snoring noises. Sometimes, Vivie would do the same. Today though, she just giggled, listening to her brothers argue.
She couldn’t open her eyes. The light hurt her. So she waited for her brothers to be done, for Enzie to focus his attention to her and give her her sunglasses.
Then, the four kids sat on the beds to have their breakfast, taking out the bags hiding under their beds. Years ago, way before Vivie was born, Enzie had decided that they should all hide their fruits and snacks in the bedroom instead of in the kitchen where Mamma could take them, and the others obeyed.
Enzie was always worried about food. Even though Mamma brought enough for them to eat everyday if they shared in small portions, Enzie insisted that it was never enough, that kids like them needed more than that. He always told them that, if they found something to eat, they should eat until they were full and share if some was left. As a result, Bettie and Donnie often brought food back from their lunch at school.
As for Enzie, how he always found something for the three of them was a mystery. Vivie had heard Bettie get angry at her brother more than once, accusing him of stealing food and talking about how he was going to end up in prison. But then Enzie would show what he got her, and she would stop yelling. But Vivie could see that she was still angry, and it made her sad too. Vivie heard that prison was bad, that the people who went left for a long time.
Vivie didn’t want Enzie to go to prison.
 Who would take care of her, if Enzie was not here ?
 …
Despite her young age, Vivie would sometimes feel bad for Enzie. He was very nice and always helped her when she was upset. But was anybody helping him ? Enzie slept on the scratchy couch in the living-room to let Bettie have her own bed. He refused to eat until his siblings ate enough. He helped Bettie with her homework before doing his. He never slept if one of them wasn’t, willing to tell as many songs and story as needed. He always went outside with them to watch over them. If one of them needed something from Mamma, he would talk to her for them.
 Vivie couldn’t talk that well yet. While she knew a few words, she was said to be behind on language. But while she couldn’t communicate, she could observe.
 When she was at the nursery, Vivie would see the other children, the other families. She was told about how a family worked.
The parents took care of the children. The parents fed the children, helped them with their homework, told them bedtime stories, watched over them, cared for them, have a bed for each one of them.
 Mamma didn’t do any of this. She never did.
 Mamma was just there, in the house, with them. Enzie told them not to talk to her. She could be dangerous when she was bothered.
And yet, she would go to them sometimes. She would go outside with them, just walking ahead as she brought Donnie and Vivie to the closest playground. She would mention them on the phone. Vivie even saw her go to Bettie’s school play once.
But the rest of the time, she would be lying down somewhere in “her side” of the house, glaring when any of her children would come close all the while holding one of those bottles Enzie completely forbid them to touch. Or she would be out of the house, especially at night, going to what Vivie supposed was her job.
So, since she was never there, Enzie took care of them.
  It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t how the other children lived. Enzie was not an adult, at least Vivie didn’t think so. Bettie said he was as much of a child as she was.
 But Vivie couldn’t do anything about it. As of right now, all she could do was finish her morning snack, brush her teeth, let Enzie dress her up and follow her older siblings as they packed for school, listening to the same instructions Enzie gave them each day : “Don’t go with any strangers.”, “Listen to your teachers.”, “Don’t get in trouble.”
 Maybe it wasn’t normal, but it was all that Vivie knew. And at the very least, she supposed it was better than nothing.
    ---------------
October 30, 2134
  Vivie didn’t understand how she ended up here, on the examination table of the nearest doctor. She had been in the bedroom, getting yelled at by Donnie for taking his clothes. She always liked his clothes more than her own. But when Enzie arrived to investigate the noise, a confusion happened.
Donnie complained that Vivie took his yellow shirt and his red pants. And while Vivie couldn’t lie about that, she insisted that everything she was wearing was of the same color and that Donnie was using two words that meant the same thing. While Donnie and Vivie went back and forth about colors, Enzie went to pick up a few clothes. He then quickly interrupted his younger siblings, sat Vivie down and asked her to tell him the color of each outfit.
The four years-old was confused but decided to comply. Describing blue shirts, purple costumes and pink underwear. But then, there was the color of the clothes she was wearing, a color Vivie had heard being called by three different names : yellow, red and green.
Each time the clothes would have this color, she would use one of those words randomly, getting several huffs from Donnie, making her feel like she was doing something wrong.
After a few more, the thirteen years-old asked Donnie to close the blinds and turn off every light, which the six years-old quickly did. Then, Enzie requested that his sister remove her sunglasses.
They tried his game again, leading to the same results. The girl started sniffing while twirling one temple of her sunglasses. Was there something wrong with her ? Were her eyes wrong again ? Enzie was quick to hold her and calm her down, singing her her favorite lullaby.
 Next thing Vivie knew, she was walked to the hospital by her brother. There, a doctor tried to look at her eyes with a light, leading to a lot of struggling from the young child. He then followed with a guessing game with numbers hidden inside colored circles. It was only then that the doctor explained what was wrong with her.
He called it “color-blindness”. It meant that she didn’t see colors the same way other people did, the same way her siblings did. In his explanation, the doctor mentioned how it was incredibly rare for a girl to be colorblind without any sibling or parent being colorblind as well. Enzie replied that he never questioned his parents about it. And while Mamma seemed able to see colors just fine, the teen had no idea if Papà was the same as her.
But, in any case, there was a way to partially fix this.
The doctor excused himself for a minute, letting the anxious teen and the fidgety child alone. Enzie went to sit next to his sister, who was quick to jump on his lap. He ran a finger through the toddler’s curly hair and she pressed her head against his chest. She smiled, feeling peaceful and safe in his arms.
When the doctor came back, he was holding a small pair of glasses with orange lens, along with two identical balls. Enzie stood back up and the doctor gave the plastic balls to the toddler, telling her to raise her head so that he could put the new glasses.
Once Vivie opened her eyes with the new glasses in place, she found herself squeal in surprise.
The balls in her hands, they weren’t the same color at all ! And those colors…had she even seen them before ?!
While the doctor was talking to her brother, Vivie kept putting the glasses on and off, noticing the immediate difference in colors. How could this even be ?!
But before she could ask any question, Enzie gave her the other pair of sunglasses, took her in his arms, thanked the doctor and left the office.
  Vivie seated herself in her brother’s arms, the movement from his walking slowly rocking her to sleep.
“Vivie ?”, the teen’s voice took away the fog in her mind.
“huh ?”
“Did you like seeing those colors with the new glasses ?”
“uh-huh.”, the toddler nodded.
“Do you want to have glasses like that all the time.”
“Yes !”, she replied, her head snapping away from Enzie’s shoulder.
“Then this Saturday we’ll got get you a pair. Okay ?”
“Okay !”
“Good. Now let’s go back home before Donnie or Bettie get on mamma’s nerves.”
As the teenager walked at a fast pace, a new question arose in his sister’s mind.
“Enzie ?”
“Yes ?”
“Do you…you will fall down for my new glasses ?”, the toddler asked full of worry. Bettie had told her the story of how she got her sunglasses. Apparently, she had refused to open her eyes as a baby and, everytime Enzie asked mamma to go see a doctor, she refused. She “didn’t care enough”, Bettie said. So Enzie decided to give her a reason to go, and jumped from a window, forcing mamma to bring him to the hospital, where the then-child was able to convince the doctor to help Vivie.
“Will I…oh ! Oh no, don’t worry !”, the teenager’s laugh didn’t do anything to ease Vivie’s worry. She pouted.
“Do not get hurt !”, she insisted.
“I promise you Vivie, we’re just going to go to a store. I…”, he looked away. “I can get the money for it…I mean…I’m sure mamma wouldn’t mind losing a few euros…”
“Mamma will help ? With no you falling ?”
“She will.”, Enzie assured. “And I won’t fall. Don’t worry about it, piccolina. Everything’s going to be alright.”
    ---------------
July 4, 2136
  Vivie was hiding in a closet. She had done it again. She had taken Donnie’s clothes.
It was something she did a lot, something she had done for a long time now.
It wasn’t that she found it fun to annoy Donnie ! She just didn’t like her clothes. Bettie had tried to get her “good-looking girl clothes” with the little money they had for it, but Vivie couldn’t care less. She only wore the same few outfits, the ones that Bettie never called “girly”. The only “girly” thing she continuously wore was a heart-shaped pink hairclip, but only because it made her sister very happy.
She didn’t want “pretty girl clothes”, she liked Donnie’s clothes more, even if they were too big for her. She actually liked the size of these clothes, as she could flap her hands with the too-long sleeves of his winter shirts.
Sometimes, when Vivie wore his clothes, Donnie would just let it go and they’ll keep playing together. But other times, like today, Donnie got upset by it. And now, the seven years-old had gone to fetch their older brother.
So Vivie stayed hidden, not wanting to face Enzie’s anger. Las time she saw him, the fifteen years-old had been with Bettie, busy doing homework. And Enzie didn’t like being interrupted by their “small and stupid arguments”, as he once put it. Especially for homework. For the last year, he had been complaining more and more about how he never had the time to just sit down and work with three noisy kids running around and needing him left and right.
Still, it didn’t take long for the child to hear the sound of his footsteps getting louder and louder as he approached.
“Vivie !”, the older brother called.
“I’m not here !”, the five years-old replied. She heard her brother sigh.
“Vivie, come out there. We need to have a talk.”
“I don’t want to !”, another sigh.
“Vivie, I’m not mad at you. Just come out. I’m not going to yell.”
“...Promise ?”
“Promise.”
Tentatively, Vivie opened the closet’s door and caught sign of her brother. He was sitting on her and Donnie’s bed. As she opened the door a little more, he patted the space next to him.
She left the closet and went to sit on the bed. Enzie watched as the child scooted over towards him, looked at his face, scooted a little more, looked at him again and finally moved to sit on his knees.
“You want to talk ?”, Vivie asked.
The teen nodded.
“You’re not angry ?”
He shook his head. Vivie looked in front of her as she considered it. If Enzie wasn’t angry about the clothes, then why did he want to talk to her ? But her thoughts were interrupted by the fifteen years-old putting a hand in her hair, prompting his sister to snuggle against his chest.
“Polpetta ?”
“Yeah ?”
“Why do you keep stealing Donnie’s clothes ?”
“I don’t steal them.”, Vivie protested. “I wear them.”
“And why don’t you wear your clothes ? You don’t like them ?”, Enzie’s voice was calm and soft, though Vivie could still hear the sternness and tiredness his voice often carried.
The child shook her head as a reply.
“But you like Donnie’s clothes ?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you like them more than yours ?”
Vivie had to pause to think for a moment. With her worry from earlier and the drowsiness form feeling a hand play with her hair, she found it hard to think.
“Is it because of the colors ?”, Enzie continued. “Or the size ? Or is it because you have girl clothes ?”
“Yes ! That !”, she suddenly jerked.
“You don’t like girl clothes ?”
“Nuh-uh.”, she replied.
“Why not ?”
Vivie was back to thinking. Why didn’t she like girl clothes ? She knew she didn’t like it when Bettie called them girl clothes, but why ?
“Do you want me to tell you what I think ?”, Enzie asked with a smile. Vivie looked up at his face and the teen chuckled. “I think you don’t like girl clothes because you don’t like being a girl. Do you like being a girl ?”
Yet again, Vivie looked away with a frown as she tried to concentrate. Was it true ? Did she not like being a girl ?
Vivie didn’t like her girl clothes. She didn’t like people pointing at her and saying she was a girl. And everytime Bettie wanted to play with her, Vivie would refuse. She didn’t like playing dress-up with Bettie. She preferred to play marbles or yoyo with Donnie. Even at school, she tried and liked spending time with boys more than girls, even though the largest group of boys always rejected her.
But were all these feelings because she wasn’t a girl ?
“I dunno.”, she finally replied, looking at Enzie with a pleading look, as if her brother held all the answers.
“Let me put it that way.”, the teenager continued. “If you were a boy, would you be happy about it ? Just imagine yourself as a boy. With boy clothes. A boy’s voice. A boy’s name.”
Vivie did. She could picture herself among the other boys of kindergarten. She looked like them, talked like them, belonged with them. The thought made her smile. When she opened her eyes, she bounced, looking at her brother with a smile.
“I want to be a boy !”, she exclaimed.
“Are you sure ?”
Vivie nodded excitedly.
“Alright then.”, the teen shrugged. “Polpetta-to, since you’re so eager at the thought of being a boy, how about we got get the tablet downstair to find you an actual boy’s name ? And see if you like it ?”
Vivie jumped off of Enzie’s laps and ran downstairs, leaving the room before the teenager even had the time to stand up.
    Half an hour later and the two siblings were still at the coffee table, Enzie reading through a list of names starting with the letter “v”. Vivie wanted a new name that sounded like her current one.
“Vittore ?”
“ummm. No.”
“What about Vladimir ?”
“…Maybe ?”
“We could call you Vladdie. Or Vaddie.”
“no.”
“Are you even sure you want a new name ? Maybe I was wrong earlier when I said you were a boy.”
“No ! You’re not wrong ! I’m a boy ! I want a boy’s name ! Just like you and Donnie !”
“Alright then.”, the teen sighed. He mumbled something.
“huh ?”
“Nevermind. How abou-“
“What are you two doing ?”, Vivie’s head perked up at the sound of Bettie’s voice. The eleven years-old was on top of the stairs, trying to look at the tablet over Enzie’s shoulder.
“Looking for a name for our little brother over here.”, the teen replied. “Where’s Donnie ?”
“In the bedroom.”, Bettie walked down the stairs. “You know Enzie, when I complained that Vivie acts like she wants to be a boy instead of being stuck as a girl, I was joking.”
“Maybe you were but he wasn’t. At least I think.”
he…their brother… Vivie liked being called that.
“Then…it looks like I don’t have a little sister after all.”, Bettie commented with a hint of sadness in her voice. This made Vivie frown. Sh-…He didn’t want to make his sister sad.
“Maybe not,”, the oldest brother defended. “but instead, you have a great little brother.”
“I guess…”, she went to stand near Vivie, her younger brother. “So,”, she continued. “you’re looking for a boy’s name ?”
“Uh-huh !”, the child replied.
“Found anything you like yet ?”
“We’re trying.”, Enzie replied, putting his head back onto the list.
With the teen’s attention away, Bettie turned back to Vivie.
“Say, once you’re done with that, how about we go return your clothes and buy you better ones ?”
“Yes !”, Vivie jumped in his seat. That’s when he remembered the hairclip he was still wearing. He took it off and presented it to Bettie. “For you.”, he explained. “I won’t wear it now. But you like it. So you should wear it.”
Bettie smiled. “Alright. Whatever you say, patatino.”, she looked at Enzie. “Found other names ?”
“You have Vivaldo, Vidone, Vezio, Vincenzo or Vincent in English,-”
“Vincenzo ?”, for some reason, the name stuck with him. Vincenzo…
“Do you like it ?”, Bettie asked. Vivie nodded. “You want to be called Vincenzo ?”
“I think so…yeah…yes ! I want to be Vincenzo !”
“Finally !”, Enzie sighed, dropping the tablet on the table. The two younger siblings just stared at him, until he glanced back and smirked. Bettie laughed.
“Let’s go return your old clothes, Vincenzo.”, the sister said, already on the move.
“Coming !”, the youngest sibling jumped to follow but was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. Enzie ruffled his hair with a smile.
“Hope you’re going to enjoy being a boy, Vinnie.”
    When the evening came, there was one last thing to do.
Vincenzo…Vinnie was standing in the doorway, his fingers tapping the wall as he anxiously watched Enzie walking towards Mamma. The woman was in the kitchen, making herself one of those drink Enzie prevented them to touch.
“…Claudia ?”, the teen asked.
“You know better than to bother me, Enzo.”, Mamma replied in a sharp tone without looking up from her bottle. She took a sip while Enzie seemed to gather his courage.
“It’s about-“
“Enzo.”, Mamma warned. Vinnie didn’t miss how her hand moved to the top of the bottle and he shivered, grabbing the wall. He knew exactly what mamma could do when she was angry.
“Vinnie is a boy, not a girl !”, the fifteen years-old blurted out before taking a few steps back.
Mamma turned around and glared at her son, but she didn’t make a move to hit him. Still, this didn’t make Vinnie feel any less tense.
“Vivie…Viviana. His name is Vincenzo now. He’s a boy.”, Enzie continued with a firmer voice.
Mamma’s gaze seemed to lose some of its anger, though she still gave the teen a dirty look. After a few seconds, she glanced at the child at the door and Vinnie froze. She started to make her way towards him, almost instantly followed by Enzie who ran to his little brother, holding him protectively against his chest.
Mamma ignored him, her gaze on her youngest child. Vinnie looked down, gripping Enzie’s shirt in fear.
“Very well, Vincenzo. And please make your brother understand not to bother me when I’m busy or he’ll deeply regret this.”, and with that, she went to her bedroom, bottle in hand.
Once she was out of view, Enzie let out a deep sigh of relief and let go of his brother. Vinnie continued to cling on his shirt for a moment. He started crying and buried his head in Enzie’s chest, trying to cover his sobs. The older brother ran his fingers in Vinnie’s hair in a soothing motion.
“Shhh, let it all out. It’s okay to cry.”, Vinnie kept his head where it was, though his sobs became louder. “There you go. It’s alright. Everything’s alright.”, Enzie was right, and Vinnie knew it.
 Vinnie had a new name. He had new clothes.
His siblings supported him.
Enzie told him that, if he did continue to feel like a boy, there could be a few changes for him to do once he’s older, at least if he wished to. Enzie promised he would do anything to make sure these changes happen.
But for now, they did everything that could be done.
 They talked to mamma.
Mamma had accepted him.
 …
He was going to be alright.
As long as he stayed away from mamma, as long as he kept listening to Enzie, everything was going to be fine.
    ---------------
March 22, 2137
  Vinnie didn’t know what to make of Papà.
As far as the six years-old could remember, which wasn’t a lot, papà would show up from time to time starting in January. He would spend the afternoon talking to mamma, or going to her bedroom, and then he would leave.
Papà never stayed the entire night. He never showed up two days in a row.
And once spring was coming to an end, during the first days of July, he would leave and not come back for the rest of the year.
Vinnie was curious about the man. He was his papà after all ! But he never got to interact with him, never got to sit down and talk to him. He wanted to learn who he was, what he liked, why he was only here from time to time and why it was only during winter and spring…
 Vinnie had tried asking his siblings about papà, but none of them gave him a satisfying answer.
Donnie was as lost as he was. He never had an opportunity to talk to papà, always afraid to run into mamma or to have Enzie yell at him for it.
Bettie looked at Vinnie with sad eyes, told him not to go see papà, that he was dangerous. When the brother asked why, the twelve years-old refused to answer.
 As for Enzie…
Enzie didn’t like papà. He said papà was very dangerous, that he didn’t care about them, that the four kids shouldn’t waste their time with him.
Everytime the kids would stumble across him while walking through the house, papà would stop in his tracks to gaze at them with an indecipherable expression. Enzie would immediately shush his younger siblings away, all while glaring at the man. Sometimes, Vinnie would look at his papà and see him glare back at the teen.
 While Vinnie didn’t know much about his papà, since he never got to interact with him, there was at least one thing he was sure of.
 Enzie hated papà.
Papà hated Enzie.
And because of that, Enzie would never let his siblings approach him.
  But one day, Vinnie got an occasion to talk to him.
  Enzie was doing homework upstairs with Bettie. Now that the teenager was in high-school, and with the other siblings old enough to be unsupervised for a while, Enzie decided to spend more time working on his future. In the meantime, Bettie has chosen to step up and help him, looking after her younger siblings if needed.
But right now, neither of them was downstairs. Same thing for Donnie.
 That was how Vinnie found himself peeking inside the living-room where his parents were. His papà was sitting on the couch with his arms and legs stretched out, while mamma seemed to be “making herself a drink” as Bettie called it. The child crouched down at the entrance and listened as his papà talked.
“-shouldn’t be there anyways.”
“You say the same thing every single year, Pietro. And yet, you always come crawling back to me. It’s been more than ten years. Just admit you can’t help it.”
“Just like you can’t help having your load of kids ? Do you have any idea how much they cost me ?!”
“You can stop sending me money any time you want.”, Vinnie could almost hear the laugh in her voice. “But I don’t think your little family will take it very well once I go to ask them for my money.”
Papà grumbled and looked away from her. “You’re the shittiest human being I ever met, Claudia. I hope you know that.”
“You’re no better yourself. Lying and cheating at any given chance. Honestly it’s a miracle she still doesn’t suspect a thing. You two really found each other. So naïve and in denial of the truth about the world. ~ ”
As mamma kept smirking and teasing papà, the man was getting more and more angry. Vinnie could see his hands gripping on the sofa, as if trying to rip it off. This made the child tense up at the prospect of his parents fighting.
“What now ?”, mamma suddenly spat in annoyance. The two adults glanced at Vinnie, and that’s when he realized that he had been anxiously tapping on the doorway’s wall, giving himself away with his noise.
“Umm…hi…”, Vinnie said in a quiet voice, waving awkwardly. Now that he had been caught spying, he might as well show himself more. Who knew, maybe this would be his only occasion ever to talk to papà !
Mamma just huffed and went back to pour her glass, while papà kept his eyes on the child.
“This is the youngest one, right ?”, papà asked. “Viviana ?”
“Vincenzo.”, mamma corrected before Vinnie could. “Turns out your daughter was a son this whole time.”
“And you changed her-his name, without my permission ?!”
“If you have a problem with that, you can talk to Enzo about it.”
Papà looked down, teeth gritted. “This child should learn a little respect.”, he spat.
“Have fun telling him that.”, mamma replied, completely impassive.
“Why don’t you at least try to teach that boy anything ?!”
“I don’t know. Why do you suddenly care about these children ?”, she shrugged. “Besides, Enzo’s almost an adult. He’s not my problem anymore.”
“You’re going to throw him out ?”
“He intends to throw himself out.”, mamma explained. “But maybe if you give us more financial support, he would have half a mind to stay.”, she joked. Papà was not amused at all.
The man punched the couch and fell silent, looking away from the mother and son. For a few moments, Vinnie just stood there, observing the man with hesitation. He knew he should be leaving, now. If Enzie saw him there, his older brother would kill him. But right now, as he felt so close to having a moment with the older man, his curiosity to meet his father was stronger than his fear of consequences.
Eventually, Vinnie saw papà’s fists unclench. This prompted the child to try and make a move. With hope to finally have a conversation with the man, Vinnie tentatively walked to the couch. When the man didn’t move, Vinnie put a hand on his knee.
Still no reaction.
Getting more and more hopeful, the six years-old hopped on his knees. Papà still didn’t move.
Well, it seemed like Vinnie had to start the conversation.
“I…um…”, Vinnie had his hands on his own knees, opening and closing his legs awkwardly as he thought of what to say. “I’m…I’m not Vivie anymore. I’m Vinnie now.”
No response.
After a few seconds, Vinnie started wondering if maybe his siblings were right. If maybe it would be better to just let it go and leave, especially seeing the dirty look mamma was giving him. But before the child could move, something he didn’t expect happened.
 Papà put a hand on his back.
 Vinnie froze and looked up. The man still wasn’t looking at him.
Without much thinking, Vinnie pressed his face against papà’s chest. Suddenly, the hand on his back start moving, reaching his shoulder and slowly rubbing it.
Vinnie looked up as papà looked down at his face. The child smiled but his gesture wasn’t reciprocated. The older man just seemed to study his face, keeping the same neutral expression.
 Vinnie had no idea how much time wet by before papà decided to open his mouth.
“Why are you wearing those ?”, he asked, tapping the corner of Vinnie’s sunglasses.
Vinnie felt himself ready to jump in happiness. Papà was talking to him ! They were having an actual conversation ! He could learn more about him !
But instead, Vinnie did his best to stay calm, letting his only sign of excitement be the rapid movement of his legs. He really didn’t want to ruin the moment.
Besides, thinking of how papà had acted earlier made the child feel intimidated by the man.
“It’s..for my eyes.”, he explained. “The light is bad for my eyes. So I need to wear those. I also can’t see every color without them.”
“How did you get the money for that ?”, the man asked, glancing at mamma. “Why wasn’t I told about this ?”
“You would have known already if you spent more time here taking care of your children, since you suddenly seem to love them so much.”, she replied in a sharp tone. “Or would it be too suspicious for your dearest missus ? ~ ”
Papà didn’t replied, instead looking back at the child still in his lap. Vinnie didn’t really know what the adults were talking about, and he had a feeling it wasn’t something he was supposed to understand. If anybody were to take care of it, it would be Enzie.
 Vinnie was still in his thoughts when papà lifted his head with a finger, taking a better look at his eyes. Remembering his experience at school, Vinnie instinctively grabbed the sides of his glasses in case papà tried to remove them.
“Your eyes…”, the man commented. “They’re different colors ?”
“Uh ? Oh ! Oh yes they are !”, Vinnie was quick to reply. He smiled again, seriously wondering why Enzie was so against them talking to papà. Sure, the man was a bit scary when talking with mamma, but at least he seemed to care about his son. More than mamma at least…Or, well, when he was around at least…
“Vincenzo ?”, papà was moving a hand in front of Vinnie’s face.
“Uh ? Oh ! right ! My eyes !”, Vinnie quickly pointed to his left eye, tapping the glass. “This one is blue. And this one-“, he pointed to his right eye. “is brown. Just like yours !”, he commented with a smile.
“…Sure.”
The man fell silent again and Vinnie looked down, trying to find another thing to say.
“…Sa-“
“VINNIE !”
Vinnie froze at the familiar and booming sound of his oldest brother’s voice.
Uh oh…
“Enz-“, papà tried.
“YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM !”
Enzie ran into the room, snatched the six years-old away and walked out, all while looking at the older man with a murderous stare. Vinnie was able to give one last glance at his parents before the door closed, seeing papà stare in confusion and anger at Enzie while mamma walked towards the man with the same impassive expression, as if she had expected something like that to happen.
With the door now closed, Enzie put his attention onto the scared child.
“WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING BEING WITH THEM ?!”
“I…I just wanted to talk to papà…”, Vinnie sheepishly replied, his head down.
“THAT MAN IS DANGEROUS, VINNIE !”
“But we were just talkin-“
“VINNIE !”
Vinnie fell quiet, finding himself unable to meet his brother’s gaze. He instead focused on the underside of the shirt he was gripping on.
After a few moments, Enzie managed to regain his composure. He sighed.
“Listen, Vinnie. I know you just want to talk to papà, but that man is a bad person. I’ve seen him hurt mamma before, he’s as dangerous as she is, if not more.”, Enzie lifted Vinnie’s head. “I just want you to be safe, polpetto, alright ?”, Vinnie nodded, still avoiding Enzie’s eyes. “Good.”, Enzie kissed his forehead. “Now let’s get back upstairs, alright ? I think I can already hear Donnie calling for you. ~ ”, the teen said in a way that Vinnie knew was an attempt to light up the mood.
“…Alright.”
Enzie held Vinnie’s hand as he led him to his bedroom. Vinnie just followed in silence, stuck into his own mind.
 Enzie was a good person. He took care of Bettie, Donnie and him.
Enzie hated papà, and papà hated Enzie.
But did that really mean that papà was a bad person ?
Was there really no way he could prove that papà was better than Enzie thought ?
…Will Vinnie ever get the occasion to talk to him again ?
    ---------------
April 10, 2137
  Enzie and Bettie talked a lot when they were doing homework. Sometimes, Vinnie would hide behind the office’s door to listen to them.
They talked about all kinds of topics. From school to the girls Bettie liked to even Donnie and Vinnie and how annoying the brothers could be at times, making the older duo feel exhausted.
But other times, they would talk about their parents, about how they felt about them.
It was obvious that Enzie hated those kinds of talks. But at the same time, he always seemed to use Bettie’s curiosity as an occasion to tell her to avoid being around them.
Bettie mostly asked questions about the relationship between her parents and why they acted the way they did. Enzie answered as best as he could, but even he barely knew about them.
However, among the flow of questions Vinnie heard Bettie ask, one in particular stood out to him.
 Does mamma have other men in her life ? Does the four of us come from the same papà ?
 When she asked this, Bettie was mostly talking about Donnie and how different the eight years-old looked compared to his siblings.
Curious, Vinnie started to pay attention to the facial features of his family and, soon enough, the six years-old understood what his sister meant :
 Out of all of them, Donnie was the only one who didn’t look like papà at all.
 Enzie was almost a perfect replica of papà. He had the man’s square chin and nose, his thick eyebrows that were more than often furrowed, along with papà’s curly hair that, in Enzie’s case, was slowly growing past his shoulders. Vinnie wondered how much the sixteen years-old hated looking so much like the man he despised more than anyone else. The only real difference between the men was color, with Enzie having mamma’s black hair and blue eyes where papà had brown eyes and light brown hair.
Vinnie was the second closest to papà. Just like Enzie, he had his old man’s chin, nose and curly hair, though his chin wasn’t as pronounced as his oldest brother. Vinnie even had a brown eye and brown hair, even if his hair was darker than papà’s. Aside from that, the child had one blue eye, like mamma’s, and his eyebrows were not as thick as papà’s or Enzie’s.
Bettie, on the other hand, was more of a mix of her parents. While she had a square chin, it was less pronounced, like for Vinnie. She also had mamma’s smaller nose and eyebrows. For the rest, it was all papà’s. She had his brown eyes and curly hair, which she almost always tied into a bun.
Finally, there was Donnie, who couldn’t be more alike to mamma. He had her rounder head, smaller nose, thin eyebrows and her long straight raven hair that he kept in a ponytail. The only thing that made him different from her, aside from height, voice and personality, was his brown eyes that deferred from her ocean blue ones. Though, as Bettie had pointed it out, a lot of people had brown eyes. From her point of view, any man with brown eyes could be Donnie’s father.
  Vinnie never talked about it to Donnie. He didn’t feel the need to.
Even if he did wonder sometimes if they had the same father, it didn’t change the fact that Donnie was his big brother. That Donnie was his best friend and favorite playmate.
Papà or not, Vinnie loved Donnie as much as he loved Bettie and Enzie. If not more.
    ---------------
November 15, 2138
  Today was the day.
It was Enzie’s 18th birthday. The day everything was going to get better. The day they were finally getting away from mamma and papà !
The oldest brother had been talking about it to his siblings for months. Now that he was an adult, he could “have custody of you three instead of losing you to the system”, as he said. Vinnie wasn’t sure if he fully understood what Enzie meant. At least there was one thing he was sure of.
Enzie was trying to protect them no matter the cost. He was willing to do anything for them.
 That’s what led the four of them into a lawyer’s office.
Mamma was there with them. As far as Vinnie knew, she hadn’t shown any objections to her son’s decision and even wanted to help his case, claiming that the fastest the trial would go, the less money she would have to waste.
Mamma was sitting in one of the two chairs of the small office. Vinnie and Donnie were sharing the second one, the two oldest siblings standing between them and their mother. Vinnie was bouncing his legs, squirming a bit in his chair. Several times, Bettie gently nudged him, telling him to stand still, but he simply couldn’t do it.
He was bored.
Enzie and the lawyer were talking things Vinnie didn’t understand. And when he understood, his mind would quickly end up zoning out. He mostly thought about how papà was supposed to be here, wondering what was taking the man so long.
He wished he had his toys with him right now. Or anything else that could distract him.
  It was during a short moment of focus that Vinnie heard the footsteps coming from the hall, getting louder and louder.
The door busted open, revealing a woman the eight years-old had never met before. She had long frizzy brown hair that was slowly falling back on her shoulders after her running. As she entered the room, she pushed her glasses back onto her nose and looked around until her emerald eyes landed on mamma. She glared at the black-haired lady.
“I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it !”, the new woman said.
“Missus Dakota, I presume ?”, mamma replied. She was sitting cross-legged, her arms folded and her eyes closed, seemingly completely unfazed by what was happening. This confused Vinnie. How could she be so calm when some stranger was yelling at her ?
The child, on the other hand, was glancing in fear at the new lady. When the door had opened, he instinctively took hold of Donnie’s shirt. The ten years-old had been quick to return the gesture. Meanwhile, Bettie had gotten closer to the chair while Enzie stood between the three of them and the door, arms stretched protectively.
“To think this all went under my nose for EIGHTEEN YEARS !”, the lady continued. Vinnie’s grip on his brother’s shirt tightened. The lady was taller than mamma, somehow making her even more intimidating in the moment.
 Before mamma could reply, new footsteps could be heard outside. Despite the commotion in the room, all eyes turned towards the door. Two children peeked inside the room. They looked around the same ages as Donnie and Vinnie. But more importantly, their features looked awfully familiar to Vinnie.
Enzie was the first to react.
“Who the hell are you ?!”, he yelled, pointing at the two children. “Who are all of you and what are you doing here ?!”
Before the lady could answer, papà finally arrived, looking at her with an uncertain gaze.
“Serena, you shouldn-“, he tried gently.
“DON’T YOU TRY FINDING EXCUSES !”, the lady replied, her anger now directed towards papà. “HOW DARE YOU HIDE ME ALL THIS ?!”, she continued to yell, cutting papà everytime he was opening his mouth.
 Vinnie started feeling tears form at the corner of his eyes. He was scared. Overwhelmed. He had no idea what was happening aside from “the adults are all fighting”. So naturally, the eight years-old turned his attention towards the one new adult that was always there when he was feeling upset. He moved to sit with his chest against the chair’s back, gripping it tightly. From here, he had a good view of his eldest brother.
 Surely Enzie had the solution to all this. Surely he could make it all better.
At least, that was what Vinnie hoped.
The oldest brother was looking between the different adults in disbelief. Suddenly, he froze with a look of horror, as if he had just understood something really, really bad.
  “YOU HAD A WIFE THIS WHOLE TIME ?!”
  Somehow, Enzie’s booming voice managed to quiet the fighting. The lady -Serena- looked at him in confusion for a second, until her face bared the same shocked expression as the oldest brother.
“You didn’t know…?”, her whisper was barely audible. She glanced at the rest of the siblings. “None of you did…?”, while Vinnie believed she was still angry and could blow at any instant, he felt like there was a hint of sadness in her voice. Was she feeling pity for them ? Why for ? What did Enzie meant ? With everything happening, Vinnie found himself unable to follow.
“Bettina.”, mamma suddenly interrupted. Serena’s expression immediately darkened, as if she had just remembered the other woman was in the room. “Why don’t you take your younger siblings outside ? The adults are talking, and there’s already enough shouting as it stands.”
“I…um”, Bettie glanced at Enzie. The older brother put a hand on her shoulder and Vinnie could hear him whisper “go”. “Alright. Yeah.”, she turned to the boys still on the chair. “Come on, ometti. Let’s go to that playground we saw on the way in.”
Donnie and Vinnie shared a confused look before getting down the chair. The room was deadly silent as Bettie took their hands and led them out, under the adults’ gazes.
Right before the door closed behind them, Vinnie turned around one last time, seeing the adults ready to go at it again under the confused and concerned look of the lawyer.
 He hoped Enzie would be alright…
    --------------
December 3, 2138
  The case had been taken into court. There had been a trial already, during which each sibling had been asked to testify about their living conditions. The younger trio spent their entire time talking about how their oldest brother had been taking care of them for as long as they could remember.
Vinnie didn’t know how to feel about all this. He had a hard time understanding everything. But most importantly, he was getting impatient.
It was obvious that mamma was bad at taking care of them. Why couldn’t the judge see it already ? They should already be on the road by now ! The eight years-old and his brother Donnie had already started to pack. Somehow, they hoped it could make things go faster.
The whole situation had also taken a toll on Vinnie’s grades. He already had trouble at school, between barely finding the motivation to do any homework unless someone was helping him and being seen by his teachers as agitated, more so than the other kids. And now that he had to worry about where he will end up soon, Vinnie simply couldn’t help zoning out in class to think about it.
And after the first trial, it only grew worse.
His teachers had gotten angry and started punishing him for it.
 Vinnie couldn’t wait for Enzie to take them away.
 …
…Enzie…
 These last weeks, the older brother had been…distant. He spent all of his free-time in the office, working on his case. He only helped his siblings with basic things. Mostly food.
But more than that, the eighteen years-old had gotten more aggressive towards his parents since that day in the lawyer’s office. He couldn’t stand being downstairs if mamma was around. He was insulting them at any given chance, including during the trial they had had.
Enzie was also trying to get things to go as fast as possible. He absolutely wanted to leave before spring, before papà was around again.
Or so Vinnie thought he did.
According to Bettie, papà wasn’t going to ever come back home. At first, when the youngest brothers asked why, she refused to answer.
It had been like this ever since the day they met the lawyer. When they came back home that day, Enzie locked himself in a room, eventually letting Bettie in to tell her everything. The two then refused to explain the situation to their brothers.
 That was, until one day.
 Enzie had come back home, looking more stressed than usual. When Bettie went to ask if everything was alright, he snapped at her -something about their parents being the absolute worst-, and went to lock himself in the office. After that, Bettie had gone back to the bedroom, clearly upset by it all. And when Donnie and Vinnie asked her what Enzie meant, she told them the truth that forever changed Vinnie’s perception of his father :
 Their parents never loved them. They never wanted them. At least, not the way they were meant to be wanted.
Their mother was a drug dealer, a criminal. There wasn’t a single penny she earned honestly. Her whole life revolved around getting money through schemes.
 As it turned out, having children had been one of those schemes.
 Mamma and papà met in an alley, in the middle of the night. Mamma had been out to sell illegal substances. Papà had gotten bored being home alone. His wife, Serena Dakota, had a job that led her to leave the country between January and July. They hadn’t been married for long when mamma and papà met. Bettie said it might have been a reason for his actions.
Papà “wanted a good time”, as Bettie said. He was out to meet a few women, doing things the older sister refused to explain to her brothers.
It was while looking for those women that papà ran into mamma. And when she heard what he wanted, she decided to use the situation to her advantage.
“She held him at gunpoint.”, Bettie explained to them. “The first night, Mamma had looked to steal his phone while he was sleeping and found the wedding ring he had been hiding in his jacket. She used that to blackmail him once Enzie was on the way.”
At first, papà had been happy to spend time with mamma. But then, his wife came home and they had to stop seeing each other. A month later, mamma called him out of nowhere.
She was pregnant.
According to Bettie, this had never been papà’s plan. Mamma had promised him that she was being careful. But, as per usual, mamma lied.
Knowing the child was his, she had been able to get money from him, threatening to reveal his secret to his wife. In exchange, papà only asked for two things : being the one to name them, and being able to visit them whenever.
The money had been the reason why mamma would sometimes go out with them or make sure they had good enough clothes or even prevent any of them from dying. She had to pretend like she liked her children. She needed people to believe they were one happy family, or else someone could call child services and “take away her safest source of income”. And while papà visiting them wasn’t part of her plan, it still at least helped her hiding the reality of her parenting.
Bettie believed that papà felt bad for them. The reason why he visited wasn’t because mamma forced him to be there. Sometimes, he just wanted to see his children, make sure they were still alive and well.
 This was no excuse.
 Even with Enzie’s warryness, he had had dozens of chances to talk to them, to be there for them.
At any moment, he could have said the truth to his wife. Instead, he lied to her. He kept her in the dark and made sure she still loved him. He had children with her, children he took care of. Children he loved.
Children he had chosen the name of years before they were born. Names he made sure none of his “other kids” had.
As he was hearing the truth, Vinnie felt like his parents had just thrown one of their bottles on his body, the glass piercing through his chest. For the following hour after Bettie finished explaining, Vinnie had felt empty. He ended up lying in Bettie’s arms, completely frozen, completely unfazed by the world around him.
 Enzie was right.
 Enzie had always been right.
 Their parents were dangerous. Their parents never loved them. Their parents couldn’t care any less about them.
There was no point trying to get their attention, trying to get their affection. They were heartless. They never had the space in their hearts for him.
Vinnie was an unwanted child. They all were.
They were children born from an affair. Used by their monstrous mother to get money from their unconcerned father.
Enzie had been right all along.
From now on, Vinnie would listen to Enzie. He would listen to everything his older brother says.
Unlike his parents, Enzie loved him. Enzie wanted what was best for him.
Enzie was the only parent he needed.
    ---------------
March 22, 2139
  “It had been clear for a long time now that Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota are not fit to take care of their biological children. However, the question of whether or not Mr. Enzo Dakota could take care of said children had yet to be answered. Today, we have chosen an answer to this question.
While we still remain uncertain of his abilities to provide for them, this court had been told that Mr. Dakota found job opportunities along with possible apartments in Napoli. Furthermore, it is painfully obvious that Mr. Dakota is incredibly attached to his siblings and had been their only anchor for most of their life. For their own well-being as well as his, we believe that separating the four of them is out of the question.
Thus, this court is ready to give its judgment. The custody of the present Bettina, Donatello and Vincenzo Dakota will be granted to their brother Mr. Enzo Dakota. Their parents, Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota, will have to repair their inaptitude by paying child support for the next five years. Furthermore, Ms. Drowssap and Mr. Dakota Sr are not to be allowed to visit their children. Finally, they will not be able to keep any other child they may have in the future.
If Mr. Dakota Jr decides to file a claim for child abuse, more consequences might come their way.
This court is adjourned.”
  Vinnie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
 They did it.
 They really did it !
 The banging of the gavel resonated across the room, announcing the end of this session. The end of their last session. Vinnie jumped out of his seat, seeing from the corner of his eyes that he wasn’t the only one. As soon as the way was cleared enough, Bettie and Donnie ran towards Enzie. The youngest sibling immediately followed suit.
They jumped into his arms, all smiles and laughs. Even after they pulled away, the happy chatter remained. Bettie congratulated Enzie excitedly while Donnie was holding onto her, pushing her back and forth. Vinnie himself was jumping in place, his fists shaking left and right in excitement.
 They were finally free ! They could finally get away from mamma and papà !
  After a few more moments of celebration, Enzie led the group outside. They had to go home and pack up. The oldest brother told them they would leave as soon as possible.
 “ENZO !”
 The siblings had barely finished walking down the stairs when they saw papà walking towards them. The man was walking fast, teeth gritted and fists clenched, looking at his oldest son with a murderous glare.
Enzie stood in front of his younger siblings, shielding them with his arms. Afraid, Vinnie went to hug Donnie. When papà was only a few steps away, the eight years-old closed his eyes. He heard the footsteps stop, followed by ruffling and a short grunt. Vinnie felt Donnie tense.
“Are you happy with yourself ?! Are you proud of what you did ?!”
Vinnie dared opening his eyes and almost gasped. Papà had grabbed Enzie by the collar.
“Because of you, I lost my wife ! I lost my home ! I might even lose my job ! All because YOU decided to get involved in MY business !”
“All I did was trying to survive !”, Enzie replied, returning papà’s glare. “I’ll never apologize for that.”
“YOU RUINED MY LIFE !”
“YOU RUINED YOUR OWN LIFE !”, Enzie pushed papà away from him. The older man raised a fist but didn’t hit his son. Instead, he looked as the younger trio protectively put their hands on Enzie.
“Go.”, Bettie spoke up with a shaking voice. “Leave us alone.”
“…”, papà’s glare was now directed at the four of them. “You are all nothing but a bunch of ungrateful bastards.”, he growled.
“What should we be grateful for ?”, Vinnie surprised himself by deciding to speak. He knew he shouldn’t. Papà was dangerous, he could clearly see it right now. Enzie had been right about that, just like for anything else. And Enzie had told him never to talk to papà again.
And yet, the child couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of his mouth.
“Have you ever done anything to us ?! Have you ever cared for us ?! DO YOU EVEN LOVE US ?!”
Vinnie felt tears stream down his cheeks. He started sobbing.
“Vinnie…”, Donnie murmured. The ten years-old held his younger sibling. “shhh. It’s okay.”, he soothed. “It’s okay to cry.”, Donnie let a hand gently run into Vinnie’s hair, copying the way their oldest brother comforted them. The youngest sibling leaned into the embrace, crying into Donnie’s shirt. When he tried opening his eyes, he noticed that papà was looking away, seemingly more upset than angry after what his son said.
 Enzie was the one to break the silence.
 “You’re dead to us.”, he spat. “Don’t ever try to see us again, or they’ll be consequences. And if you don’t keep paying for support, I’ll sue for the child neglect.”, he threatened. “If you think your life is already ruined, you’re not ready for the hell I’m ready to put you through if you ever DARE try anything against us.”
The two men glared at each other for what felt like forever. Enzie’s last words kept replaying in Vinnie’s head. He wondered with dread how serious his older brother was, how far he was willing to go for them.
 Finally, after a painfully long silence, papà started to back away. He walked a certain distance, glared at his chil- at them one last time, and turned away.
Enzie snorted. “Come on.”, he told his siblings. “Let’s go home. We have a lot to do if we want to leave.”
The oldest brother started to walk away, soon followed by his sister. Donnie and Vinnie looked at each other as they pulled away from their hug, before finally following the older duo.
As he followed the group, Vinnie couldn’t help but look around him, look back at the older man.
From afar, the eight years-old noticed mamma. She was looking at the man as well.
Despite everything that had happened, she was smiling.
-------------------------
Note : Regarding Vinnie being trans, I’m well-aware that someone doesn’t “become” a boy, they’ve always been one. But since Vinnie is 5 when he realizes that he’s a man, the characters simplify it to “becoming a boy” so that Vinnie can understand easily.
Italian translations :
Mamma : mom
Papà : dad
Piccolina : little one (female)
Polpetto : meatball (apparently it’s a nickname for young kids/siblings)
Patatino : little potato (for some reason I love this nickname)
Ometto : little man (ometti is plural)
Piccino : tiny one
6 notes · View notes
sombreboy · 4 years
Text
Love Maze »1
Tumblr media
Series masterlist  » Next ▎ 18+  ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook  ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn. ▎ word count: 7.4k ▎ ch.warnings: They’re basketball boys in the school team lol, cursing, mxm, two dumb boys trying to figure their feelings, smut, anal (pls use lube irl this is fiction!), mentions of alcoholic father, some angsty feelings. Idk what else lmk, just, don’t read this if you’re sensitive to messy angsty feels, mxm smut, dumb humor & lots of cursing. A/N at the end of the post!
Tumblr media
Taehyung didn’t know what kind of response he was expecting from Jungkook. Perhaps something like, ‘Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone, let’s forget about it.’ That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. But what he didn’t expect to read was what he received, and his body language proved that. His shoulders were tense, and his jaw was locked in place. Tae ran a hand through his damp hair, repeating Kook’s words in his head. ‘But you didn’t say we should stop..’ What the fuck kind of dumbassery was that? And why wasn’t Taehyung opposed to the idea of it?
Tumblr media
‘‘Taehyung, the hell’s wrong with you today? Get your head in the game!’’
Those same series of words kept on repeating themselves in the back of Taehyung’s busy mind, almost taunting him in a way.
Namjoon, their team captain, had made it very clear this early morning—Six o’clock, to be exact, that Taehyung was out of it, and was lazily dragging his feet across the court.
The latter knew that Joon’s only intention was to help him, but if he hadn’t bit down on his tongue, Taehyung would’ve lost his shit. 
Who the fuck thought that it was a good idea to start practice so goddamn early in the morning?
Tae was a mixture of surprise and thankful that he didn’t just fall asleep right then and there. 
Truth be told, there was a strong urge to..
Because of this, Taehyung almost regretted staying up so late into the night slashing zombies left and right, searching for ammo, yelling profanities out of anger when someone would sneak attack him—almost. He was way too invested in his gaming to truly feel any guilt.
But, much to his shock, the boy felt a sense of guilt begin to gnaw at him throughout the day, hence why he was making his way towards the familiar gym once again. This time not half-dead.
Tae knew how much this upcoming game meant to Namjoon.
As he began to get settled in, glad that he was the only one there, Taehyung casually practiced his free throws. He challenged himself to make it from different spots in the court, succeeding in most of them.
Minutes later when he was beginning to get in the groove of things, in waltzed Jeon Jungkook.
Fucking great. Just what he needed.
Tae let out a defeated sigh, meeting the other boy’s gaze for a split second before continuing with what he was doing.
“What the hell are you doing here.” It was a mumbled question, no trace of enjoyment laced in his lower tone.
Jungkook glanced at Taehyung, their eyes met for a split second as he walked in. Tae's snarky comment had Jungkook roll his tongue on the inside of his cheek with annoyance, glaring with furrowed eyebrows as he went to the opposed side of the play field. He brought his own basketball, bouncing it a few times to make sure it had enough air, "To practice, what the hell does it look like?" He scoffed before the loud echo of the basketball was the only sound coming from his end of the court.
A sour scoff originated from the back of Taehyung’s throat, whom in response to Jungkook’s presence tried to show off by shooting the basketball from a further position.
“Yeah,” The boy began, extending out his arms, “you need lots of practice, alright.”
He successfully made it into the net.
Call him childish, but the little smile tugging at the corners of his lips was getting hard to ignore..
Ever since the age of eight, when Jungkook was introduced to his group of friends, Tae enjoyed finding different ways to irk him.
From chasing him around the playground with a worm in his hand, bumping shoulders into him whenever he felt like it, to making fun of his Basketball skills.. it was amusing, he couldn’t lie.
“Hey, you.” The taller didn’t bother referring to ‘you’ by his name, “We should play against each other. You could learn a few things from me.”
Jungkook grit his teeth, dashing towards his hoop to jump up and slam dunk the basketball into the hoop, much harder than intended. He’d been working out a lot lately, and his strength was finally showing, and he couldnt wait to wipe that grin off Tae's face.
"Eat shit," he frowned, but he accepted his challenge, "Fine." He threw his ball to the side, getting ready to sprint towards him with a speed completely new to the elder. Taehyung would be lying if he said he wasn’t the least bit fazed by the look of determination in Jungkook’s eyes.
This wasn’t the Jungkook he knew, who the hell was this person?
However, he wouldn’t let the younger scare him, no matter how often he tried to play the “Big Wolf”.
It was pathetic, really.
Those pretty eyes didn’t compliment that facade at all.
“Nah, I’ll pass,” Taehyung smirked, sharp eyes hooded as he studied the other’s every movement.
Tauntingly bouncing the ball in front of the younger, Tae managed to dodge the figure coming towards him and instead charged towards the opposite net. Nothing but determined to one-up Jungkook.
It was always a struggle, it didn't matter if Jungkook was stronger, Taehyung would always seem to be faster, one step ahead of the game. He quickly turned on his heels, the sole of his shoes squeaking against the floor as he sprints to catch up with Taehyung, trying his hardest to push himself to use his strength to attempt to jump in front of Tae before he'd be able to throw the ball.
Much to his dismay, Jungkook actually manages to bat the ball in a different direction midair, preventing Taehyung from scoring his shot.
Now he just feels like a dumbass..
He doesn’t stop there, though. 
Instead of backing out, Taehyung’s drive only soars through the roof. The latter wasn’t about to let Kook show him how it’s done.
He was the one in charge.
In a swift movement, after running across the court whilst dribbling the ball, Taehyung jumped up in the air and made it even.
“Back in the game, baby!” The taller cheered, pumping a fist in the air.
Time seemed to get lost the more time they spent playing against each other, and surprisingly, Taehyung didn’t seem to mind it.
Jungkooks dark curls was clinging to the sweaty skin of his face, heavy shallow breaths taken as they kept playing against one another for quite a while. It was rather fun, and it gave Jungkook the energy and drive to keep going, keep trying his best. They were both extremely skilled, so the game kept going even back and forth, the competitive tension stronger than ever--but he was getting tired.. his muscles ached, his body coated in a layer of glistening sweat.
“Getting tired already, Kook?” Taehyung playfully snarked, completely disregarding the fact that he was also drenched with sweat from running from one end to the other over and over again.
“That’s weak.” He wouldn’t admit that, though. “Come on, one last match.” The boy stated, his defined stomach on full display as he used the end of his Jersey to wipe at his face.
Not bothering waiting for an answer, Tae hoped that the challenging look in his eyes was enough to draw Jungkook in.
As he began dribbling the ball, waiting to see what the younger’s next move would be, Taehyung began charging towards the familiar net, passion evident in his face when—POW!—He tripped on his undone shoelace and fell on top of Jungkook.
“Fuck..” He hissed, feeling some minor pain emerge from his lower leg but thankfully, Kook’s body was there to act as a cushion.
After the taller managed to redeem himself (to the best of his abilities), he brought up his face from Kook’s chest to look down at the other.
Taehyung’s hands were placed on either side of Jungkook’s head, chest heaving and sweat beads streaming down his temples.
He didn’t know why, but his body wouldn’t move away from its position. It was like he was stuck there.. face so close to Jungkook’s..
Everything happened so fast that one moment Jungkook was preparing to charge towards Taehyung, and the next he was on his back on the floor, something heavy weighing him down. He opened his eyes, and they blew wide as soon as he saw the view above. Taehyung was so sweaty, and he looked... incredibly good up close. Jungkook froze, holding his breath and it felt like his heart skipped several beats, his arms laying limp above his head in such a position that had him feeling vulnerable. The tension between the two was so strong, at this point he wasn’t able to differentiate whether it was pure anger or pure lust that flowed through his entire being.
‘What the fuck is going on..?’ Taehyung asked himself, swallowing down all of his remaining questions in the shape of a strong gulp.
“Uh..” Was all he had to say, continuing to stare down at Jungkook like an intrigued weirdo, eyes skimming over the little details on the younger’s face. From the small scar on the side of his cheek, to the beauty marks perfectly placed on his skin.. Tae was infatuated.
He would never, in a million years say that out loud, but was he thinking it..
The boy wanted to say something like, “Wow, you’re even uglier up close,” but that was so far off from the truth, it would be a sin.
The heat erupting in Jungkooks body made itself known through the shade of red creeping on his cheeks, feeling himself getting flustered. Why wasn't Tae moving away? Why didnt he say something? But then again, he was completely frozen in place as well, having nothing to counter with. His lips fell open, a quiet breath escaping his lips, unable to find the words he was so desperately seeking.
Before he could tell right from wrong, Taehyung’s lips met Jungkook’s in an awkward kiss, hesitating at the start before finally gaining the courage to move them against the younger’s a little more naturally.
It was slow at first, Tae’s bigger hand cupping the side of Kook’s face, not wanting him to pull away by any means.
His thumb found itself caressing over that same scar he took notice of not too long ago, Taehyung’s own cheeks overtaken by a rosy hue.
Then, like the spell had been broken, Tae broke the kiss.
“Fuck.. uh..”
He looked like an absolute dumbass, didn’t he?
“You should use some lip balm, or something.” The boy cleared his throat, still not parting their bodies.
Something was wrong with him.
Jungkook was dumbfounded, staring at Taehyung as if he was a deer in headlights. Fuck, this was confusing. He had been struggling with how he felt towards Tae, trying so hard to suppress his feelings for him, and now feeling his lips in a kiss, his hand gently touching his cheek, it was as if all of the walls he had been building up around this enigma called Taehyung was slowly crumbling down. It was terrifying, and it clouded his thoughts, now all he could think about was the desperate need to feel those lips on his once more, "A-again..." He whispered, so quietly it was barely audible, almost hoping Taehyung wouldnt hear it.
Taehyung heard it. Clearly.
And he didn’t budge when it came to giving Jungkook what he wanted.
Tae kissed the other once more, gently sucking onto his bottom lip as if asking for entrance, for permission to take it one step further.
The older’s hand slowly traveled down to Jungkook’s waist, snaking under the boy’s Jersey, gently squeezing at the bare skin, feeling Jungkook’s sweat against the palm of his hand.
Suddenly, a drive to feel more hit Taehyung like a truck. 
Teasingly, the taller’s slender fingers brushed over Jungkook’s nipple as he stared down at him, bottom lip caught between his teeth.
Searching for a bigger reaction, Tae squeezed on the perky bud, lightly tugging at it here and there. Meanwhile, his hooded eyes were set on studying every movement in the younger’s face.
Jungkooks parted his lips even further in a gasp, allowing the kiss to deepen. He whimpered quietly, extremely responsive under Taehyungs ministrations on his nipple. His cheeks were more than just pink now, but a shade of rosey red, his chest starting to heave up and down heavier. His entire body was aching for him to do more, anything, and he was almost ready to beg at this point, eyes pleading with tae to continue
The sight of the younger’s body reacting in such a way was enough to awaken more than just Taehyung’s inner want for more; he felt himself begin to envision what it would be like if they took it a couple steps further, Jungkook whimpering.. just like he was now, so quiet yet so loud to Tae’s ears.
By now, the tent in the latter’s shorts had made itself obvious as his fingers continued to rub over Jungkook’s nipple, pinching the tip just for the fun of it.
“Let’s get the hell out of here, hm?” The older’s already deep voice seemed to get an octave deeper. 
Taehyung finally pulled himself up from his spot on the ground, before extending out a hand for the other to take. If he wasn’t so clouded with lust, Tae would’ve been embarrassed at the fact that he had a massive boner in front of Jungkook.
But, as he led the younger downstairs, smaller hand in his, that was the least of his worries.
Jungkook nodded, eyes flickering between their joined hands and the floor as he blindly followed Taehyung to whever he'd take him. At this point, he'd go wherever for this man, his heart pounding heavily as he felt his own erection strain the fabric of his pants, lips pressed tightly together to keep his whimpers in check.
Taehyung halted in his quick steps upon reaching the familiar locker room, hand letting go of Jungkook’s as he peeked his head around, trying to make sure they were the only ones around.
Thankfully, no one else was in sight.
The older reluctantly turned back around to face Kook, hesitating on whether or not to place his hands on the latter’s waist.
At the end, he said ‘fuck it’ and needily pulled Jungkook close to him by the waist, trying so hard not to listen to the consciousnes in the back of his head..
With a bit of hesitation, Taehyung’s lips aimed for the crook of the younger’s neck, nuzzling his face into the warmth before beginning to press open-mouthed kisses along the skin.
He gently sucked on a spot, nibbling on it teasingly, wanting nothing more than to make Jungkook enjoy it just as much as he did.
“Tae...” Jungkook breathed out his name with a quiet moan, sensitive to every single touch. He places his hands palms flat on Tae’s chest, granting the man access to his neck by moving his head to the side. His needy erection grew harder, leaving little to the imagination through his basketball shorts. The aching throb between his legs was screaming for attention, however he did enjoy the slow buildup
The older, as much as he was turned on, didn’t quite know how to tackle this sudden.. urge to feel Jungkook; all of him.
Sure, he’s had sex in the past, too many times to keep track of. But he’d never gotten this close to another guy before.
It was one thing to watch gay porn, but when it actually came to showcasing what he’d seen through a screen.. it was nerve wracking.
Tae didn’t know where to begin.
The taller pulled his Jersey over his head, leaving him shirtless in front of the younger. 
He guessed that was a better start than none.
However, almost as if someone else had taken over him, Taehyung drove Jungkook’s body back against the lockers, his kissing more rough, and his leg placed in the middle of the younger’s.
Jungkooks back hit the lockers with a loud thud, a yelp drowning in his throat, muffled by Tae’s lips. His jaw fell slack, granting the man access to his mouth. His body was almost shaking, this feeling and need so overwhelming that his skin is hypersensitive to every bit of attention it receives. This was like a dream, it felt surreal, how did he end up here? What was going to happen later? His thoughts were drowned out when he felt the friction of Tae’s leg against his crotch, and he wishes so desperately to be touched, rutting subtly against his thigh.
Growing needier by the second, Taehyung pulled away from their heated kiss to undo the strings in his shorts, hands shaky as they fumbled with the fabric.
The older’s bottom lip got caught in between his teeth in concentration, overgrown fringe falling down on his eyes like a curtain; a lot of secrets hidden behind his intense gaze.
Once he was left standing in just his boxers, Taehyung’s hands now tugged at Kook’s clothing, wanting to make it even.
In the heat of the moment, a little chuckle slipped past the older’s lips, “What the fuck kind of boxers are you wearing..?”
His eyes amusingly skimmed over the patterns engraved in the soft fabric, holding back his laughter.
Jungkook frowned, his cheeks on fire as he averted Taehyungs eyes, “fuck you...” he hissed, but his voice came out weaker than he wished it did. It cracked at the end into a whine, only causing his embarrassment to grow further. He was so vulnerable like this, exposed to the man that he’s been pining for, the very man he’s been trying to suppress his emotions for, trying to hate him. But he couldn’t. His hands were clawing at Tae’s shoulders, pressing his back against the wall to get some room to breathe within the thick intensity of the moment.
If he wasn’t such at a loss for words, Tae would’ve taken this opportunity to make fun of Jungkook, but it seemed like his mouth was too dry to even utter a letter.
His gaze traveled from the younger’s dorky boxers to his small waist, then to his abs.. his chest, neck, and lastly to his face.
Suddenly, Taehyung got the confidence to speak at the sight.
“You shy, Kook?” He smirked, not failing to take notice of the splash of red dusted on his cheeks.
He looked so.. vulnerable. Taehyung wanted to jump at the chance to corrupt him.
The older parted their distance, looking down at Jungkook with so much hunger in his eyes before swiftly turning him around, pressing his bulge against the younger’s ass.
Tae’s lips hovered above the other’s shoulders, pressing more kisses onto the side of his neck as he teasingly grinded his hips into Jungkook, getting that desperate friction he needed.
''N-no, a-ah...!'' He gave up on trying to argue him, another small noise drowning in his throat when he gets turned around, placing his palms flat against the lockers, his chest pressing against the cold surface. He whimpers when he feels Tae's lips on his neck, shivers running down his spine, goosebumps appearing on his skin. If anybody saw him in this state, his whole image as a jocked bad boy would be completely ruined. But at this moment, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered more than the greedy desperation he feels for Taehyung, he couldn't be physically satiated until he got everything. Jungkook bit his lower lip to prevent more whimpers from escaping, but to no avail, his pathetic noises muffled as his hips press back against Taehyung, his plump ass rubbing against the large bulge pressing on his behind.
Even Taehyung struggled to hold back his noises of pleasure as he stared down at the way Jungkook’s ass moved against him.. 
“Fuck..” The older grunted, increasing his pace as he continued to grind against Kook, but, that wasn’t enough.
He needed more.
In one swift movement, the boy’s underwear found itself down to his ankles, his cock springing up to slap against one of Jungkook’s cheek.
Now that various of thoughts rushed into his head, 90% of them were questions.
Had the younger even been fucked by a guy before?
Was he okay with this?
Shit—Taehyung didn’t want to think about that.
So, he settled for dismissing all of his thoughts and worries. How much more different could it be?
In a hurry, Tae soon tugged at Jungkook’s boxers as well, now leaving them both naked to the eye.
Fuck, Jungkook had a nice ass.
After gulping at the view in front of him, Taehyung brought two fingers up to his mouth, coating them with his warm saliva before aligning them to the smaller’s hole.
Without thinking twice about it, the older’s digits pushed past the initial rim of muscle.
He began curl and uncurl his fingers inside of Kook, making scissoring motions as well.
“You like that?” Taehyung leaned in to breathe onto the nape of his neck, the squelching noises of his fingers now pumping in and out of Jungkook bouncing off the walls of the locker room.
Jungkook held his breath at first, his body tensing up, but as he felt the wet digits against his ass he took deep, slow breaths to relax. Slowly, as Tae thankfully worked him gently, his wet fingers warm and thick, it wasn't uncomfortable. He wasn't unfamiliar with the sensation of fingers, as he's done it to himself countless of times, but Taehyung's fingers were larger, and with the obvious fact that they weren’t his own, they reached so much farther than his own ever could. Jungkook pressed his cheek against the cold surface of the locker, whispering out 'yes' to the question thrown at him, lips fallen apart as he no longer can remain silent, a sudden high pitched whimper rolling off his lips when Tae reached a certain spot inside of him. Jungkook was surprised by himself, not aware he could even make such a lewd noise.
As a response to Jungkook’s unexpected whimper, Taehyung’s fingers only worked faster than before. He pressed them further into him, wanting to reach Kook’s deepest places in hopes of hearing more of his moans.
The younger was so fucking tight; his cock couldn’t wait to get a taste of it.
After a few more minutes of Taehyung stretching him out, adding in an extra finger or two.. massaging Jungkook’s warm walls, he decided it was time to climb up the ladder.
Without any proper lube in sight, Tae opted for spitting onto the palm of his hand before beginning to jerk himself off, wanting to ensure all of his length was covered.
Taehyung might hate Jungkook’s guts, but he didn’t wish to hurt him.
Resting one hand on the younger’s shoulder, Tae used the other to direct his throbbing cock into the smaller’s entrance.
He could only get the tip in at first, as Kook was that tight.
“Shit.” The boy cursed, having to re-align himself before using some force to hopefully fit all of the remaining inches.
“A-ah.. fuck yeah..” Taehyung breathed out, biting down on his lip as he gradually planted himself deeper into the younger.
This felt.. new.
He was overtaken by a sudden blanket of warmth as he slowly began to move his hips, sinking his nails into Jungkook’s shoulder.
''Oh my g-- f-fuuck....'' Jungkook cried out as Taehyung moved inside of him, the feeling so overwhelming, he felt so full. His hands curled into fists against the locker, the urge to almost punch into the metal surface because he didn't know what to do with every feeling that was overtaking him. It hurt a little, and the whines he makes were a mix of pain and pleasure, but with every slow stroke against his insides, the pleasure overtook the pain, and his breathing turned into needy, shallow gasps.
When seeing Jungkook begin to visibly relax in front of him, the older’s thrusting gradually increased in speed. The hand that wasn’t holding onto Kook’s shoulder sneaked it’s way to the latter’s heaving chest, freely roaming around the soft skin before stopping at its desired destination.
With a harsh slap of Taehyung’s pelvis on Jungkook’s cheeks, the sound of their skin clashing against one another became more audible as Tae picked up his harshness. 
“So tight..”
He hastily licked over his index finger before placing it back on the other’s nipple, multitasking while quickly flicking the perky bud and ramming into Jungkook’s hole.
Tae found himself holding back a bit, not using all of his strength just yet. 
Just from the way the younger’s body had reacted to his fingers, Taehyung could tell this was new for Jungkook as well.
“So fucking good,” He hissed, hiding his sweaty face in the crook of the smaller’s neck whilst continuing to pound him from the back.
Jungkook's moans gradually became louder and breathier with every few thrusts, his hips starting to move on their own to meet Taehyung's advancing hips, sweat dripping from his face down his neck, his dark curls clinging to his skin, ''T-taehyu--ung..'' He cried out, glancing down to see the sinful sight of his nipple being played with, then down to his untouched cock, swollen and needy for friction. But even if he didn't receive any attention on there, he feels like he could still cum from the way his insides were abused either way, and it was an amazing feeling, he never wanted it to end, ''H-harder, harder, please...s-shit...'' His words were barely coherent, his voice higher in pitch, his legs starting to shake in bliss.
“Harder, huh?”
He repeatedly rubbed against Jungkook’s prostate, not sparing the latter any mercy as Taehyung began to unwind; he was letting down his defenses.
If Kook was ready for more, then he was going to give it to him.
The taller’s broad chest heaved from exhaustion, but he pushed through it nonetheless.
He wanted to catch a glimpse of Jungkook’s expression as he came, knowing it was bound to come soon.
Taehyung’s hand traveled down to the dip in the other’s back, pressing down on it so that Kook’s ass could press further against him. 
The taller took notice of how Jungkook’s peach had taken on the color red, the corner of his lip inching upwards proudly.
“Ah.. fuuck,” Taehyung cursed out, feeling a familiar pooling of warmth begin to settle in his lower stomach the more his hips snapped against Kook.
Jungkook turned his head to the side, leaning his cheek against his arms that now served as protection from having his head repeatedly jolting against the lockers. His knees were growing weak, but it got easier when he had his back arched, however it changed the way Tae's cock was angled, and he felt himself being brought closer to the edge with every snap of their hips. His cock was desperate, aching and dripping with precum, it was more than ready to explode. When he couldn't take it anymore, he reached down with one of his hands to squeeze his shaft firmly, easing the painful aching by just a tad bit, ''I'm g-gonna.... '' His voice cracked into a sob, being so on edge but not quite able to get over the hurdle just yet was such a powerful feeling.
Taehyung’s cock snapped harder and deeper into Jungkook, feeling his energy falter, his thrusts lazy and out of rhythm.
The taller was close to his peak, and it was clear by the way his eyebrows were pinched together, lips slightly agape as heavy puffs of air slipped past them. 
Every inch of Taehyung’s body was enjoying this.
“Are you..?” Before he was given the chance to finish his question, Kook’s broken voice was his answer.
Wanting to drive the both of them to ejaculation, Taehyung didn’t hold himself back. Not one bit.
After many curses, grunts, and moans later, the older’s cock twitched inside of Jungkook like a volcano before breaking loose, some of his cum seen trickling down the boy’s entrance.
“Fuck..” Tae whispered, having trouble regaining his breath.
Still panting, Taehyung pulled himself out of Jungkook before leaning his sweaty back against one of the lockers, thankful for the cool touch on his skin.
Jungkook came hard, his insides filled with cum and the floor beneath him stained with a pool of his own flowed, his cock twitching heavily in his hand as he jerks himself dry, a loud, drawn out cry echoing in the room. His voice was hoarse from all the moaning. Jungkook gasped quietly, breaths shallow and quick when he feels Tae withdraw himself, pulling out from his ass. The wet, thick sensation of Tae's seed dribbles down on the back of his thigh, and he could no longer hold his body up as he dropped to his knees within the mess of their cum, holding on to the bench. He didn't dare to look back, not yet. The way he had acted, and spoken was completely new. He didn't know how much he enjoyed being the subsmissive in this scenario, and now it'd just be another thing Taehyung would bully him for. Unless... Maybe, this was a changing point. Jungkook glanced back at the taller man, still working on catching his breath.
The second Taehyung had been caught sneaking a glimpse towards Jungkook’s direction, he quickly snapped his head the other way, jaw clenched.
“Uh, I um..” He didn’t know where to begin. 
Should he begin at the kiss they shared on the dirty gymnasium floor?
..At the way he nipped at Jungkook’s skin?
When he toyed with the younger’s nipples..?
Just where the hell should he start?
“I’m gonna go.” Taehyung cleared his throat, not sparing the other another glance, suddenly feeling disgusted with what he’d done.
He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing back the strands that once stuck to his forehead when he began to dress himself, not wanting to spend another second naked in front of him..
‘What the fuck did I do?’ 
Taehyung repeated to himself, his back facing Jungkook as he struggled to make sense of his actions.
Without another word, he left Kook in the empty locker room, eyes trained ahead as Tae only had one motive: To get the fuck out of there.
Jungkook quietly watched as Tae left him, naked and alone in the locker room. He felt disgusting, used. On wobbly legs, he got up, groaning quietly at the wetness between his cheeks. He decided to take a quick shower, using the one by the locker room, turning the heat up so high that steam filled the room, letting the water boil at his skin, ''Fuck...'' He hissed, still unable to focus as all his mind keeps going back to, is the way Taehyung sounded while ramming into him, the rough but delicate ministrations of his hips, ''Get out of my head.. Fucker, fucker..'' Jungkook turned the water ice cold, numbing himself from thinking, freezing seemed to help better. After a long while, he got out, dried himself and got dressed in his normal clothes, packing his basketball outfit into the backpack he'd brought and exited the locker room. How was he ever gonna face Tae again? Were they a thing? Did they still hate eachother? Jungkook himself wasn't sure, but he never did hate him. He needed to find this out eventually, or it'd gnaw at his mind.
When Taehyung made his way to the school’s parking lot— about to angrily throw his backpack onto the backseat of his crappy car, he was met by Namjoon as he pulled up into the spot next to him.
“Yo, Taehyung!” Joon’s voice rang, stepping out of his car when he was met by a harsh welcome.
“Listen, if you’re gonna continue to bitch at me about this morning, I’m not in the fucking mood, alright? I already stayed after to practice.”
The younger drifted off, failing to catch the look of confusion attached to Namjoon’s face as he focused on remaining his cool, hands unconsciously balled up into fists at his sides.
“Tae.. I was just gonna say hey?”
The older’s brows furrowed, internally questioning why Taehyung’s panties were in such a twist.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?”
Namjoon crossed his arms over his chest, “You okay?”
He hoped that if he asked enough questions, it would be enough for Taehyung to give in.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” 
Apparently Joon forgot he was talking to the Kim Taehyung, he should’ve never expected Tae to open up to him.
The only time the younger actually told him something somewhat personal was in fourth grade, when he admitted he, “needed to go poop.”
Not believing him for one second, Namjoon struggled to drop the subject. But, he noticed how much Taehyung looked like he wanted to get out of there, so he let it go.
“Well.. fine. Just know you can always talk to me, alright?” Joon said as he watched him get in his car, meeting Taehyung’s dimmed eyes for a split second before the latter drove away, far too fast for a school zone.
With a sigh, Namjoon brushed off their encounter for the moment being and made his way into the familiar doors. He’d forgotten his basketball uniform in his locker, and it was safe to say, it was time for a deep cleaning.
Just as he was about to make his way downstairs, he took notice of Jungkook.
“Kook!” He called out, waiting to meet him at the top.
“What are you doing here?” Namjoon didn’t fail to notice Jungkook’s small limp, hesitating whether or not to ask him about it.
“I saw Tae leaving as well, he was pissed off— wait a minute,” The Captain’s eyes widened, “you guys didn’t get into a fight, right? Is that why you’re limping?”
Nine times out of ten, Joon was the one who broke off their stupid arguments. It wouldn’t surprise him if things had actually gotten out of hand this time around.
Jungkook tensed, looking up at Namjoon with surprise. He quickly straightened his posture, ''Hi, I uh...'' He's never been a good liar, but he knows he couldn't tell anybody about this. Could he? Should he? No fucking way, Taehyung would literally strangle him to death. Jungkook's eyes flickered between Namjoon's before nodding hurriedly, ''Yeah, we got into a fight, it was nothing,'' He bounced on his leg a little, gritting his teeth to endure the small pain jolting through him, pretending his body is fine, ''I'm fine. I uh, I have to go now, so.. '' He shifted his weight between his feet, muscles in his legs aching as he just wanted to get away, starting to walk past Namjoon as he grips the strap of his backpack harder.
Namjoon let out one of his ‘shocked, but not surprised’ sighs, “Just ignore each other, how hard can it be?”
He mumbled, rubbing at his temples in utter frustration.
Joon wanted to say more, but Jungkook insisted he had to go.
So, he pressed his lips together, knowing he tended to overstep in people’s personal problems. It was a little flaw of his, but really he just wanted to help.
“Alright well.. see you tomorrow.” Namjoon waved the younger off, waiting until Kook was out of sight to do all of his pondering.
With a light shrug of his shoulders, Namjoon stayed put for one more second before making his way downstairs.
He just needed to remind himself to talk to Taehyung and Jungkook tomorrow morning, more like scold them.
Joon couldn’t have two of his best players take their anger out on each other, not when a big game was near.
Plus, they were his friends, so part of him worried about their own safety.
Jungkook was exhausted, and he had no car, so he sighed loudly as he opted to simply walk towards his place. It wasn't terribly far, but a good 20 minute walk. Actually, with a limp, make it 30...
As he finally made it home, he threw the backpack on the floor, and laid down on his stomach on the bed with a grunt. He had no energy left, but yet his mind went on to think about Taehyung. Where was he now? What was he up to? Did he think about him too? What the fuck is going to happen from now on... 
Namjoon on the other hand, had gone through the lockers to grab his forgotten clothes, but also making sure nobody forgot anything. As he made his way towards the door to get out of there, he almost slipped, catching himself last second, ''What the hell..''
Joon looked down on his feet, a sticky mess stuck to the sole of his shoe, smeared along the floor in a small puddle. He crouched down, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He took off his shoe to wash it, and before putting it under the tap water he smelled it and scrunched his nose, making a face, ''What the fuck is thi-'' His eyes widen when he realized exactly what it is, it's fucking cum. He washes it off, luckily he's got a very strong stomach, not easily disgusted by the liquid itself. However, he was wondering why the hell it was there in the first place. He pondered for a long while as he cleaned it up, being the way he is, and took his things and started leaving. His mind would rewind to when he met Taehyung earlier, he had just left the practice hall... Just moments before Jungkook, ''No way...''
He countered himself, but before he knew it, he had connected the dots for a possible scenario. So, Taehyung did not want to talk about something he was upset over, and Jungkook was limping, obviously in a hurry to leave... And then there was cum on the floor. Namjoon felt dizzy, rubbing his neck as he blinked several times, ''So they weren't fighting?''
Taehyung dreaded going home; he despised stepping into an environment that, in fact, didn’t feel like home at all. But, the more he drove further away from the school, the anger in his mind not having quite evaporated into nothingness yet, Tae figured ‘home’ was his only option.
He just prayed his deadbeat of a father wasn’t there, or if he was, that he wasn’t drowning his liver with one alcoholic beverage after the other.
It was a long shot, but the boy could hope.
After countless road rage moments later, Taehyung managed to pull up to his driveway without a single scratch.
Considering what happened last time, this was great news. 
That reminded Tae, he needed to get his left view mirror replaced. It’s been a couple of days that he’d driven without it.
His heartbeat began to pound wildly against his ribcage after stepping foot into the medium-sized house, asking himself if he was the only one home. 
Well, Taehyung guessed there was only one way to find out. Shutting the door behind him and carelessly letting his bag drop to the ground, the latter’s sharp eyes carefully raked around the living room, glad to see it was left untouched.
Then, for the biggest test of all, he opened up the refrigerator door.
Yes. The pack of beers were still in tact.
Without thinking twice about it, Taehyung reached for a bottle. He /needed/ some alcohol, having grown tired of thinking too much into things. Maybe this way he’ll learn to loosen up, his head hurt like a bitch.
For the remaining of time, Tae spent it up in his room, mindlessly browsing through his social media while occasionally downing the cold beer in his hand. 
Sooner than he expected, the day’s light no longer peaked through the curtain cracks, and Taehyung couldn’t tell if it was because of the light alcohol in his system, or his inner fear of what could happen, but his finger found itself hovering above Jungkook’s contact.
Being a part of the basketball team, everyone was told to exchange numbers on the first day. 
Namjoon made him and Kook cooperate, and now Taehyung might actually have an excuse to use it.
[Taehyung]: JK, don’t tell anyone about what happened, got it?...Use some panthenol on your butt, I read somewhere it should help with the pain or whatever.
Taehyung hesitated whether or not to include the last part, but he couldn’t be bothered to question himself anymore, so he pressed ‘send’.
Jungkook was laying in his bed when the phone chimed, groaning lightly as he stretched out to reach for the device laying on the floor next to his bed. When he saw the contact name, he coughed as he almost choked on his own breath, and out of reflex he threw the phone across the room, “Oh fuck...” 
He was anxious, not knowing what this text would contain. It could be anything! What if he told him to never fucking come back to practice? Or that he’s going to kill him!... or.. something else?
Jungkook sighed as he got up off the bed, slowly walking over to fish his phone back into his hands that were shaking as he unlocked the screen. 
“Don’t tell anyone about what happened...” he read it out loud to himself, and he felt like his chest tightened. Of course he’d say that. But, he didn’t say it couldn’t happen again.. he didn’t say to fuck off out of his life forever.
He read the ending of the text and almost felt like his lips were twitching into a dumb smile, because it was so unlike Taehyung to sound like he almost cared about him. Or at least his ass.
Jungkook hovered over the texting pad before he started to tap at the screen, 
[JK]: Got it. But you didn’t say we should stop.. p.s thx for the butt tip.
Jungkook cringed at his own text, but was too tired at this point to overthink it as he tapped the send button. He had to know, or his soul would disintegrate. He already wanted more, and he hated himself for it. Why would he fall in love with the most emotionally blocked person on earth! Jungkook sighed with a frustrated groan following before throwing his head into a pillow to scream out his overwhelming feelings.
With a towel loosely wrapped around his waist, and toothbrush still in his mouth, Taehyung had just gotten out of the shower when he heard his phone’s familiar chime on the bedside table. Unable to put off his curiosity for after he was done getting ready for bed, Tae carelessly jumped onto his mattress, reaching over for the device before taking a look at who it was.
‘JK’
He felt that all knowing sensation of tightness in his chest, anxiety piercing through his veins. But, deciding that he wasn’t a pussy, Taehyung quickly tapped on the younger’s message.
After reading over it multiple times, he found himself still at a loss for words.
Honestly, Taehyung didn’t know what kind of response he was expecting from Jungkook.
Perhaps something like, ‘Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone, let’s forget about it.’ 
That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.
But what he didn’t expect to read was what he received, and his body language proved that. His shoulders were tense, and his jaw was locked in place.
Tae ran a hand through his damp hair, repeating Kook’s words in his head.
‘But you didn’t say we should stop..’
What the fuck kind of dumbassery was that? And why wasn’t Taehyung opposed to the idea of it?
..Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it ever since he got home?
It got to the point where every time he looked down at his dick, he would be reminded of Jungkook.
God, his whimpers..
Taehyung was definitely out of it, surely the beer had something to do with it.
“Fuck.” He groaned out loud, closing his eyes for a moment. 
He should just forget about it, pretend it never happened..
But something told him that was easier said than done.
Throwing his phone to the side, Taehyung decided he’d thought enough for one day, mind starting to blank every few seconds because of it.
He needed to sleep it off, and hopefully by tomorrow morning, everything would just blow off.
Shit, he was already dreading having to face Jungkook at practice, but it was a given.
Jungkook kept glancing over at his phone from time to time, sighing when he realizes that Tae wasn't going to answer him. He wasn't surprised though, why would he? This was a lot, he should've just said something else, anything, that wasn't putting their entire dynamic on the table. But he had to do it. He couldn't not do it... After a while, Jungkook's eyes felt heavy, burying his face into his pillow until he fell asleep, still replaying the way Tae's skin felt on his.
Tumblr media
A/N: Surprise! This is part one of a series co-written with @velvetwicebang​, (whom also made the banner!) this is a DM rp we’ve had going on for a while and I really wanted to share it(and keep it for myself to re read) because their writing is just too amazing!
Also, this is NOT Yandere! This is vastly different from my other content, but I hope many of you will love it either way.
© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.
122 notes · View notes
shesawriter39049 · 5 years
Text
|TROUBLE| M|1 OF (?)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
PAIRING:  OC XJimin/Namjoon/Yoongi ....Now how that happens..you’ll just have to wait and see…
High school/Drift racer AU
Running Back Jimin-
Point Guard Yoongi-
Not soo “Mr. Perfect” School President Namjoon-
Wild child Cheerleader OC...
***They all drift on the weekends *****
SMUT/Humor..ish.../mentions of drugs/alcohol
**Written all in good fun, for purely nostalgic reasons...the men in question are grown as all hell IRL and that’s all that matters lol! So for this particular AU yes... strap yourself in and take yourself back on a ride for a NEW highschool experience! ****
4.5K
Based off my headcanons I made for this threesum..it will play on those “characters” IE...my version of an Americanized..non art school BTS!
***I paint a very detailed picture...aesthetic wise for all three of the boys and the OC…(STYLE wise) I never get into physical looks with my OC’s***
It was 7:25 in the morning, I.E too damn early as three cars eased in one after the other to the already full parking lot, yet for some reason there normal spots remained untouched. The school itself was a “school of choice” and often attracted people of all walks of life due to its exceptional sports program. Everything from a Range Rover to a rusted out beater filled the lot, the students just as diverse as the cars. A white BMW 430i, led the pack, followed by a sublime green challenger scat pack, and ending the brigade was a very well taken care of satin black 70 Chevelle, two white pinstripes lying along the hood! The threesum almost making a untentional triangel, ironically enough the BMW eased into the spot that read “Reserved for class president”. Not even giving it a second thought before doing so, yet, it’s the first day of school and elections havent even taken place yet. Presumptions for him to assume for the third year in a row he’d reclaim his title!
Black loafers graced the gravel, lying beneath a pair of light gray slacks, which were tucked into a loosely fitted cotton polka dot dress shirt which sat slightly unbuttoned. A thin black Gucci belt laced around his waist. Hair currently ash blonde, messly waived out of his face, while cat eye glasses framed his button nose. Was Namjoon Kim a TA...or a Junior in high school!? Were still trying to figure that out too, the tiny bud of a joint pinched between his fingers kinda answered that question though. Leaning down to rub the end against the concrete to halt the remaining smoke, giving himself a couple sprays of cologne before throwing it into his black leather backpack. Placing his ice capp on top of his car before popping his trunk..removing 4 bright orange cones...placing them on either side of his car..
“This motherfucker!!” The playful scoff, in combination with the most dramatic eye roll you’d ever seen in your life came from the one in the scat pack as he sipped on his Bahama Mama. A pair of Puma RS-X TRACKS laid on his feet,accompanied by a pair of extremely tight,distressed, dark wash “Copper 9” skinnies. With the way your school's star running backs thighs were set up you’d swear these bitches were painted on. Ya know... the amount of rips that laid along his thighs mixed with how low the white Calvin Klein V-neck sat..the combo would definitely be a write up if worn on a female student! Well... actually…. nah, your school was very laxed on dress code just due to everyone constantly breaking it and your principle basically giving up! Jimin's caramelized complexion glowing under the sun.. his dark wavy locks locks sat tucked behind a backwards red Supreme snapback! A set of rhinestone 2G plugs sat in his ears while an array of other piercing traced of the outer frame of his lobes. Arms and fingers, also coated in a menagerie of gold and silver accessories.
Lounging casually against the hood of his car, a smug smirk tugged on his pouty lips observing the way his best friend gave his car one more one over before grabbing his coffee, dropping his gaze down to his watch. The diamonds visible from across the lot... strutting his way through the brigade of cars as if he owned the entire school.
“Is he aware that when he does that dumbshit...it just makes me wanna fuck his shit up!? I've never been so tempted to kick a car in my damn life!” and last but not least..that growl came from the proud owner of “The Creeper” AKA the Chevy Chevelle… lazily making his way in the running backs direction. A fitted black and white “DGK” baseball jersey draped his frame,paired with black skinnies to offset the primarily white jersey. His burgundy locks tucked under a matching black “DGK” bucket hat, all white Jordan 11’s dusted his feet. Of course the look wouldn't be complete without a “Tropical” Red Bull and his earpods wedged in both lobes..which essentially let you know he really didn't wanna be bothered. A helpful hint with Yoongi, wait for HIM to approach you...
Still trying to figure out why school couldn’t just start in November..or in layman's terms...during basketball season. Since that’s the only reason he comes anyway...just needing to keep his grades up so he can continue leading the school to their third consecutive championship. One of if not the best point guards in the state...you didn’t have to necessarily be the tallest to succeed in basketball you just gotta know your angles!
Sharing an all knowing smirk with the fellow athlete as the two of them coly strolled towards Namjoons car, casually kicking the cones one by one away from the premierter in the process. A gritty chuckle leaving their lips as they did so… before nonchalantly making their way towards the building, “Well, aren't you sexy…” The words purred from Yoongi’s lips making Jimin’s head snap around, but the minute it did he already knew the point guard wasn’t talking about a girl per say. But a car, a royal purple Camaro that clearly had drag tires on it….
“Fuck yeah she is….” The level of arousal that dripped from there lips ...at the site of a car was almost comical, yet not at all surprising. Incase you havent noticed they all have a thing for cars..even Namjoon’s BMW. It may look like the car of a businessman but thanks to Yoongi and Jimin under his hood was straight fire! The car itself peaking interest as neither of them had seen it before, and considering the fact that they raced every Sunday night...they’d know if there was another drift car in town! Shrugging it off for now, already well aware they’d see the owner at some point in the day….
The minute they entered the building it was just utter chaos, the school itself was huge, spread along three floors. Typically hovering a little under 2k kids a year between all four grades, it was clear as day who fresh meat was. The building clearly more than overwhelming as they ran frantically  through the halls, a combination of excitement and fear dancing along their faces! The pair smirking in amusement as they maneuvered through the crowd, unbothered wasn’t even a strong enough word to describe the two of them.
“Hey Park over here!!!” Jimin didn't recognize the voice, that shot through the air, yet he still adjusted his direction to follow the sound anyway. Not too surprised to see it was a couple underclassmen with cameras in hand. Probably on the school newspaper, or the yearbook committee...Jimin didn't care either way. You put a camera in that boys face and the charm goes on full blast! Quickly tossing the remainder of his drink in the garbage so he had freedom to ...I guess pose, suddenly this must've became a photoshoot in Jimin’s mind!  Eyes turning into tiny crestins as he smiled in the youngers direction, not hesitating to switch up his angles, poses, the stairs somehow became a prop...suddenly he was taking his hat off.......all he was missing was a damn fan!
“Yoongi you tooo….” Words slowly dying off his tongue at the glare the point guard gave him in response. Though he ultimately ended up complying due to a sharp nudge to the ribs from Jimin.
“Stop being a little shit!” Growled through clenched teeth as he continued smiling and posing for the camera.
“How about you stop telling me what the fuck to do?!” Reaching up to give Jimin one hell of a purple nurple ripping a low growl from his throat. Triggering the first genuine smile and chuckle to leave Yoongi’s chest all morning, as he glanced over in his direction.
“You said you wanted me to smile…” An almost menacing tenor rang through his throat as he spoke, still grinning ear to ear, gums on full display .
“You fuckin sadist!!” Nudging him in the shoulder before both randomly deciding they were done with this little importue photoshoot. Heading back to their initial mission..Tv production ...or as Yoongi called it..an extra hour of sleep before school starts!
“OH! So what your saying is you didn't enjoy that? “ Brow arched at the implied question cutting him off with another one before he even had a chance to respond.
“So now the rumors about our star running back #81 being into BDSM suddenly aren't true!? You suddenly lost your pain kink!? How about a little breath play action? Choking? Would you care to confirm or deny this accusation Mr. Park!?” Shoving his Iphone in Jimin’s face as if it were a mic..a shit eating grin playing on his lips…
The smirk that crawled up Jimin’s face at the sound of that should’ve already told Yoongi he was going to wanna kick his ass “Oh yeah, I fuckin love it ..in fact..your mom sounds soo damn good calling me daddy I just-” Insitnally cut off by Yoongi shoving him into the nearest locker, ripping a loud cackle from Jimins throat..laughing until he was almost weezing eyes completely dissapered into his face!
“Cool, I’m glad we decided moms are fair game this year..especially because your father travels a lot..I’m sure mama Park gets lonely...” Playfully wagging his tongue in Jimin’s direction earning a well deserved dual middle finger from the running back!
Stumbling their way down the hall as they, kicked, nudged and shoved each other in the process if people didn't know any better they’d really question the terms of their friendship! The pair finally danced upon there missing link, a combination of fondness and embarrassment laced along there face as they watched Namjoon network..or flirt..or both depends on perspective!
“Yes, of course I’m very confident in that and I think I did a very good job last year, and the student body will remember that..and hopefully vote accordingly when the time arises…”  Flashing the girl to his right his award winning dimply smile...nothing subtle about the way she damn near melted at the sound of his voice alone. Namjoon knew what he was doing though as his hand soothed over her shoulder. Eyes burning into hers, as he awaited her to remember how to breathe and close out her podcast recording.
“KIM NAMJOON!!!!” Squawked from Jimin’s lips..he didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was..just the simple stylization of his name alone let him know it was probably only one of few people!!
Glancing over his shoulder in there direction, ya know it’s funny..if you saw the three of them separately..you probably wouldn't assume they’d be friends. Unless your basing it solely on ethnicity, even there styles screamed different ‘Cliques” if you will. First you got Jimin who dresses like a...tendy, slightly boujee skater, Yoonig, who leans more towards “High end” urban street/lounge wear..and finally Namjoon. This boy either looks like he’s heading to a corporate meeting, or like he just got a Champs endorsement..there’s NO inbetween. Yet this threesum have been best friends since the 6th grade and wouldn't have it any other way!
“Yeah...were actually gonna make shirts that say “Daddy Joon for president…” so ugh look out for that merch coming real soon, I’ll slide the link on my Instagram..make sure you're all following me, it’s “ParkJimin81” in case your not…”
Tongue playing at the corner of his mouth as he casually draped his arm over the brunettes shoulder after shamelessly plugging himself .Now it was his turn to make this poor girl's knees go even weaker. Dropping his gaze down to meet hers not missing the way her body shuddered slightly at the contact. Or how her eyes zoned in on his cherry stained lips, a smug smirk tugging on his cheeks, as he slid his hat off, ruffling his figures through his hair. “Aeygo” left his tongue in response to how blatantly flushed the underclassmen’s face was before abruptly moving in Namjoon direction. “Alright playtimes over baby boy we gotta go!!” Tugging him down the hallway...
“Andddddd THAT ladies and gentlemen, was a free lesson on how to clout chase and be a hoe  with Jimin Park..he’s here 5 days a week..for at least 4 of the 7 hours of the day! But if you wanna learn how to do that thing where he looks like he’s going to rip every hair follicle out of his head...we can probably set up some private facetime sessions for like 20 a pop! Lemme know..Yoongi Min, manager and the only functioning brain cell for those two! Thank you!! ”  Extending his hand dramatically, dropping down to a sad excuse for a curtsey, bowing a couple times before tailing after his friends!
~~~~~~~
The boys managed to make it to the halfway point...they all had fourth hour together which meant they had the same lunch period. Which was ironically enough B lunch..none of them were actually signed out by there parents as they casually walked out the back doors. Not even remembering the last time they actually properly got signed out for lunch. The parking lot buzzing with students, during the summer months a lot of the time lunch was actually spent in the parking lot. Hints why there was one school security guard outside.. he wasn't doing much, though. Hell Larry actually looked like he was smoking a damn cigarette!
“Whoes car are we -fuck I knew it! I fuckin knew it” Swatting at Namjoon’s chest, smiling ear from ear compaly obviouslious to the current abuse. While Yoongi and Namjoon glared in his direction...
“Could you not abuse your president…I’m fragile...” Gently dusting his fingers over his pecks..
“Man! First off your the biggest motherfucker here! And if you don't shut the hell up about this damn election, you havent even won yet!” The phrase left Yoongi’s tongue with more bite than Namjoon expected, faltering back in surprise. Eyes blown out as he dramatically clutched his chest
“Alright FIRST off, RUDE!” Pausing to make sure there was enough emphasis on the fact that he was clearly offended! “ And are you doubting my skills Min Yoongi!? Listen I don't need this type of negativity in my political-”
“Oh for fucks sake!! Nobody cares about your damn election right now Namjoon!! Look!” Physically grabbing the taller of the threes head between his palms...turning it to the far left.
“On top of the hood of the Camaro..I told you little shits I saw her at the scrimmage!” Nothing subtle about the way Jimin pointed you out in the sea of cars as you reclined against your hood. Posing for a couple pics for Instagram with some friends, long story short 2 years ago your dad took a different job and you guys moved an hour and a half away. Due to the size of the school you transferred to you guys were still in the same division. So you saw each other occasionally on game nights or on the weekends and during summer break!. But nothing compared to bullshittiing and gossping all day in class with them, or actually being on the same team again! No surprise to anyone that you made varsity cheer for the third year in a row…
“Troubles backkkkk….” The words left Jimins lips sing song like as he gazed over in your direction, a cheeky little grin starting on his lips, before seamlessly shifting down the line.
“Well boys, I think Y/N deserves a formal welcome back..and who better to do so... then your class president, and two of the schools top athletes?” The grin on Namjoon's lips quickly changed from innocent to pure mischief as he glanced in his buddies direction!
Your LBD was without a doubt breaking every centimeter of the dress code, it looked like a standard cotton bodycon dress for the most part. But the very bottom flared out slightly almost like a skater skirt...which was currently playing “Chicken or go” with the wind! The leather chunky heeled booties didn't do much for that either. Only making your legs look longer and your dress look shorter, an oversized distressed denim jacket hung loosely off your shoulders. Finishing the look off with a pair of extremely tiny sunglasses so much so that they were actually useless..nothing more than an aesthetic! Hoops damn near the size of your head hung from your ears, hair half up, half down. A messy top knot sat in the middle of your head while the rest laid in loose curls..the sun catching your overly glossed lips and highlight perfectly as you posed along the hood.
Eyes zoning in on the pack making there way in your direction, you'd be lying if you said you hadn't already scopped them out prior to. The four of you followed each other on social media so you were well aware of how good purbirty was to the three of them over the past couple years! In addition to the fact that you guys weren’t necessarily super close but you were..comfortable if that makes sense! Naturally running within the same circle...so when you’d come down for the weekend, or summer break you’d still hang out or at least run into each other at parties!
You were always known for being a little bit of a wild child, the girl that was always down to cause a little trouble, and so where they..soooo it worked out! Only this time around, you got the opportunity to spend the majority of your summer abroad, so it was a bit of a surprise to most that you were coming back to finish out your junior and senior year!
“Well, well, why am I not surprised your all still connected at the hip?” A playful smirk tugged on the corners of your lips as the pack swarmed you, Jimin closing in first. Not hesitating to scoop you off the hood and into his arms for a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Hiii..” slipped past your lips and into his hair, as the sweet musky scent of his cologne filled your nose in the process. A slight squeal leaving your lips as he twirled you around before placing you back on the ground.
“Hii, welcome back...” He naturally carried a very warm tenor to his voice,not the deepest but it was effective, calm..inviting...intimate.You could damn near feel every muscle in his body when he picked you up. Puberty hit Jimin damn near perfectly..even though you’d never tell him that!
He was always a little..’thick” I guess you'd say,nice ass, thighs..and the cutest chubby cheeks even though he hated them! Now..he turned all that into muscle..still thick just toned..Jawline chiseled to the GODS, you could damn near cut glass! Like I said, you saw them damn near evrry sumemr, but it seems you miss one and now it’s like..FUCK!!!
“You missed us that much you had to move back aye? Or was Brighton a little too...boring for you?” A smile that was almost too damn smooth played on his lips as he glanced down at you. Tongue slowly grazing against his teeth,reclining against the light post adjacent to your car. Funny how it was a question yet his tone indicated as if he was telling you, you missed them and you moved back because you got bored...
“Meh, I don't know about all that, but the three of you aren’t the worst ammently this town has to offer so I won't complain. Also you already know..lifes far from boring if I’m involved...”  Casually flipping your hair over your shoulder as you shifted back along the hood of your car, eyes now zoning in on the other making there way in your direction.
“Princesssssss..” Namjoon sauntered over to you..moving past some random that appears to just be observing or taking notes...it hard to tell. Fuck, did his voice get even deeper!!!??? How many times is this boy going through puberty shit!
Taking in his frame from head to toe, a slight snort  leaving your lips at his attire, hopping off the hood swaying in his direction. Letting your hands play with the collar of his dress shirt…”You do know you don't actually work here right? And like this whole student body president gig means nothing when you drive off the lot?” Brow arched at the implied smart arsed question, a smirk playing on the corners of your lips as you watched him roll his eyes. Ripping a cackle from both of his best friends lips in the process.
“I’m soooo glad someone else gets it!!!”
Instantly whipping a middle finger in Yoongi’s direction without breaking eye contact with you.
“Aww Joon! I’m glad you finally pulled that thing outta your ass!”
“Yeah, yeah, fuck the both of you! Now give me a damn hug girl!!” A playful growl ripped from his throat,as it was his turn to scoop you into his arms. Giggling into the side of his neck in the process, eyes fluttering open in enough time to see  Yoongi damn near salivating over your car. Palm coming over to caress the curve in your hood, yes, there was something extremely sexy about how delicately he stroked the frame of your car.
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to touch something that doesn't belong to you without permission Min? ” Lashes fluttering in his direction, your tone of voice let him know you really weren't bothered
A smirk playing on the corner of his lips as he gazed over at you, still not removing his hand from your car though. “I mean ..yeah they have..but to be honest I don't really wanna touch...I wanna ride her..” Eyes locked with yours as he said it, you knew what he meant, he was a car guy, and right now he had a car boner! But he also knew what he was doing in the obvious change in tenor as he spoke…
“Oh yeah?” Brow quirked in amusement as you sauntered over in his direction, Namjoon and Jimin overseeing in silence.
“Mmmmhmm...she’s sexy..what can I say...I’m a man..I like sexy…” Kneeling down slightly trying to see if there;s anything under the frame of the hood.
“Is he stock..or a tease?” This time the question came from Jimin, as he slowly started to circle the perimeter of the car
“Hmm..why don’t you find out yourself? Reve her up a little..she’s a big girl..she can take…” Wiggling your key fob in Yoongi’s direction. A cheeky grin spreading across his lips, which looked extremely wet right now....
“Shit, you don’t have to tell me twice, get it baby girl!!” Extending his hand to catch the keys
“You two are more than welcome..I’m riding shotty though, my whip, my rules…”
The pair didn't even have to think about it before hopping into the back seat.
The minute Yoongi revved up the engine and they heard how sweet your baby girl purred, a literal moan swept through the car. Triggering a gritty cackle to leave your chest “I told you she's no bitch!!!!”
Easing out of the parking lot, and making his way down the main road, which was essentially all rural, your city itself was initially a resort town. Downtown itself was huge but for the most part there's just a lot of trails, backroads, lakes,and land, a lot of land..beware of mounds of horse shit in the road during the warm months!
“Do you mind if I smoke in here?”
Eyes whipping back in Namjoons direction dramatically as if you hadn't seen him hit a bong at a party “Oh my god our future class prez smokes!? Shit, I might actually vote for you instead of actually running my damn self!”
The look on Namjoon’s face was utterly priceless, while Jimin and Yoongi damn near weezed…
“Ohhhh shittttt…” Jimin’s entire body slouched into itself as he laughed until he was practically in tears!
“You would not….” Tone blatantly daring taking on a more dominant effect that your use too! But you didn't care shrugging nochanaly in his direction.
“Aww what’s wrong Joonie? Worried because for once you might have some actual competition, or because you may actually lose!? But don't worry I’d make sure you were like my treasure or something ...”
Reaching over to grab the joint from between his fingers positioning it between your lips, if you didn't know any better you’d swear he damn near growled in response. Turning your head in Jimin’s direction who leaned down to light the joint for you. Taking a long slowly drag before pulling it back from your lips, coating the tip in the leftover residue from your lipgloss.
“Nah, not even, phased honestly go for it baby ! To be real I’ve been craving a little competition anyway...and don’t worry there will be no hard feelings on my end. I’ll still invite you to my celebration party at my lake house because I gotta respect you for at least trying!” Smiling down at you before snatching the Joint out of your mouth with zero warning, placing it between your lips. Causing you to blow the cloud of smoke dead in his face, eyes shifting into tiny slits as you glared back at him.
“Don’t fuckin’ tempt me Namjoon…” Tone taking a sassy turn as he was now testing your patience.
“Oh no I’m not tempting I’m begging..and I don’t do that often..please..please be a good girl for me and do as I say...and run for class president!” Intentionally taunting you as there was now an almost whiny condescending tinge to his voice. shooting you a quick wink before reclining in his seat.
A short scoff leaving your lips in response, hating how quickly he could get under your skin “ Oh don’t worry..I’ll be damn good for you!! Game fucking...on..Joonie...you wanna play we can play...speaking of…” Brining your attention to the driver's seat
“Min, what the fuck are you doing? I thought you wanted to ride her not babysit her...I know you don’t baby stroke the gears on your Chevelle like this. Show me what you got..put in work, I bought these tires for a reason sir!
Adding a purposely taunting tone to your voice as you glance in his direction, knowing damn well you were pushing his buttons. Observing the way his eyes glanced up into the rearview mirror, catching Jimin’s, the pair sharing a smirk before a deep slow breath left his body. Adjusting the grip his handheld on the gear shift, lowering your steering wheel and reclining his seat back even further.
“Alright kids buckle the fuck up, you heard her, she want’s it fast and loud....well.. daddy’s about to have a little fun….”  Eyes shifting in your direction briefly..
“I’m waaaiiitingggg….”
You could see Namjoon in your peripheral pulling out his phone, aiming it at the additional speed gauge you bought for the car since nothing under the hood, including the engine was stock. It legitimately felt like your body melted into the seat as he seamlessly alleviated for 45 to 60 to 75-to 90....before you knew it he had her purring at a solid 150 and it barely even felt like it!
“ FUCKKKKKKK YEAH!!!” Ripped from your throat once you felt him flour it, feet hammering straight into the floor! Going a good 4 miles, at full blast before actually approaching a more…”Civilized” part of town.
A loud howl ripped from Jimin’s chest as Yoongi drifted down a slide street that was actually a dead in...which lead to the parking lot of a roller rink. Purposely easing in sideways as your tires rutted along the concrete, cradling the wheel until he completed 3 seamlessly donuts. Still, hovering at close to 100mph before slowly bringing her down, gear shift by gear shift, all four of you starting at each other breathless in complete silence as your car finally came to a halt….
“Holy shit I have to fucking PEE!!” Swatting at the back of your seat until you scooted over, almost onto Yoongi’s lap so Namjoon could hop out of the car. Passing Yoongi the joint in the process so he could finally hit it too now that he was parked.
“She’s fucking NASTY!!!!” Yoongi glanced over at you between puffs..placing the joint in front of your lips which you welcomed. Leaning down to take two more puffs, slowly inhaling a cloud of smoke releasing the remainderer through your nostrils.
‘Oh...” Leaning down again, causing you to lean forward thinking he was going to offer you the joint again ...but instead  “Welcome back by the way..you were missed..” Taking another slow drag before releasing a cloud of smoke from his lungs, concentrating the smoke in the direction of your lips. Reclining your jaw slightly, sucking in, recouping the remaining cloud of smoke . Fuck, when did Yoongi get so damn smooth!?
“Thanks, I’m glad to be back honestly” Clearing out your lungs a little before continuing “And thank you! I told youuuu..she’s  my little baby...a straight beast!” Chest swelling with pride, even though this wasn't close to half to what she could do.
“There’s a race...this weekend...Either after the first game on Friday orrrr sunday night...that parts still undecided!I think it’s too late for a buy in but...you definitely need to come...it’s at the trail down by Marine city.”
Nose scrunching into your face at the location...not too fond...at all..you hated the drive even on the bus for games !
You reaction caused Jimin to smile over at you , already well aware of your issue, as he ruffled his fingers through his hair. Slowly tailing his way down to caress his neck “You could always ride with one of us if you want-”
“Shit!!” Namjoon hopped back into the car slamming the door behind him, luckily you still hadn't fully shifted off of Yoongi’s thigh or else he would have crushed your ass! “I think I saw a -”
Before he even had time to finish his thought...a blacked out charger pulled in..unmarked but the sirens said it all….
“Everybody out of the car!!”
THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE FOR THE INTRO CHAPTER!!! If you like it and you want me to continue with this fourseume..then “Like” this..leave some feedback and come hit up my ask box!
NOTE- IF I continue this..it will be a one shot series..as in it won’t go into EVERY detail of day to day life but have a main focus. I.E the first game, the drift race, the election, Namjoon /Jimin’s birthday ETC…I’m also still undecided on how the smut is going to work between the 4 of them. There could be an array of scenarios that take place as “smut” means any type of sexual activity, so that’s not to say she’ll go the full 9 with all three of them...or maybe she will...IDK!!!! LOL
NOTE- I know realistically they would be staggered year wise, but to make it easier I’m making them all juniors (If I add in the other boys in another series, Hoseok would be a Junior while Tae, and Kook would be Sophomores and Jin would be a senior)
ALSO- The boys are all going to graduate at 18 or In Yoongi’s case he turns 19 right after!
Love you guys as always,
Rocki!
122 notes · View notes
purplesurveys · 3 years
Text
956
Be honest with yourself, are you proud of your actions? Yes. If there’s one good thing going for me it’s that I’m happy with the things I’ve done, overall. I regret few of my actions.
Have you ever had an operation? No, and the thought scares me to be honest. I get uncomfortable with the idea of being put under anaesthesia or being cut open D:
Favorite sit-down restaurant? Yabu, Frankie’s, or Mendokoro Ramenba. Missing all these places bigtime, too. I can’t wait to start getting my internship money, heh. Chicken wings will probably be one of the first things I’d buy.
What have you eaten today? I had sushi bake with nori sheets in the afternoon, during a lull at work.
Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? Rhett and Link, if people from YouTube count. But Angela made me laugh quite a bit today, if you’re looking for an irl person.
If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? But would I be down with the tattoo...? Probably should have been the first question you asked, haha.
What is something you find romantic? I like different ways of saying I love you without having to say those words. Like, “I thought of you when I saw this,” or “Should I drive to you?” or “Did you get home safe?” Those are my favorite things to hear when in a relationship; it makes me feel I’m looked out for, which I appreciate.
What is your style? Sometimes I like going the 90s route with graphic tees and high-waist denim jeans, but other days I like to look more modern or chic.
If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? Not that I enjoy doing it, but I’d love to visit Nacho’s resting place right now. I’m just not sure if I’m allowed to go out at this time. I’m certainly hoping he wasn’t alone today and that he got a lot of love.
What is the best movie you have ever seen? Good Will Hunting.
What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? Intelligence.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? I don’t appreciate jokes on miscarriages and rape, and those that poke fun at transphobia. Jokes on suicide and mental health issues can sometimes be offensive, but it depends on the context.
How long was your longest relationship? 4 years.
Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship? I’d take the castle. I personally prefer the spaceship a lot more, but I feel like I’d be barfing in there a lot lmao. Also, the amount of controls and buttons that I’ll have to move around will probably overwhelm me.
Have you ever felt unimportant in someone’s life? Unfortunately, yes.
Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No. Not my gift of choice either, so I’d say it’s a good thing that no one has made one for me.
Did you have any unread texts this morning? I don’t think so, no.
What are your initials? RIAC.
What is your definition of “having sex”? I don’t feel like describing it in detail lol, just look it up.
Who was the last person you were “in a relationship with” on Facebook (including anyone you may have put “in a relationship with” for a joke)? I never used that feature on Facebook. I don’t like sharing too much personal info on there, because Filipino relatives tend to be nosy and gossip around lol. All they need to see are the memes I share and my political stances.
Do you think a relationship with a 16-year-old girl and a 35-year-old man would work out? Do you think age differences like that (when they’re under 18) should be legal? 16 years old...say that again, but slowly. That’s pretty disgusting.
Were you ever “the other man/woman”? How did it turn out? How do you feel about it today? No. I’d never want to be; I wouldn’t know how to deal with it if I ever found out I was one.
What do you think of open relationships? If your partner suggested it, what would you say? i dont care what other people do, but that is not for me.  < Sums it up well.
Would you ever date out of your race? I’m open to it. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be.
Who were you with yesterday? Just family, but I was mostly by myself.
Have you ever had a reptile for a pet? Nope.
What time do you have to get up tomorrow? My work starts at 9 AM so I always have to be up by then, but because I like taking a shower and polishing the work I did the day before, I personally like to be ready anywhere between 8–8:30 AM.
Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? I never have.
What kinds of alcohol do you like? I like cocktails; I like having a good, chill time with friends and I’m usually not in a hurry to get drunk, so cocktails are the perfect drinks for me for most situations. As for hard drinks, I usually go for tequila shots and whatever Bacardi is.
Did you have a swing set when you were a kid? We didn’t, but as a kid I regularly came over to my cousins’ place who did have a playground and they had a variety of swings that I loved riding.
Can you do the alphabet in sign language? Incompletely.
Have you ever been so hurt that you wanted to stop feeling completely? Of course.
State you most want to visit? Illinois, but only for Chicago.
What is a book that you really want to read? I’m not really eyeing any at the moment, but I’m currently reading Midnight Sun. Except by ‘currently’ I really mean reading a few pages or so once a week lol. I’ve always been terrible at reading books as a teenager/adult.
What brand was the last lotion that you used? I don’t remember anymore. I don’t use lotion often.
What color is your underwear? Green.
What was the last type of cookie that you ate? Sandwich cookies. They were Oreos.
If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? In a happier place, mentally. I’d give an arm and a leg to be there rn.
What genre was the last song you listened to? R&B I think.
What sort of surveys catch your interest and which ones bore you? I like ones with random questions or those with themes that I can relate to, like college or film surveys. I can’t say I enjoy surveys that ask what kind of X you are and then just lists down traits that you’re asked to bold or not. Bolding surveys can also be kinda bleh, but I like putting my own twist on them and elaborating on each entry so that I don’t finish them too quickly.
What books do you usually enjoy reading and which do you not enjoy? I enjoy autobiographies. I don’t like the fantasy and epic genres, or anything that has too many fictional or supernatural elements.
What is something that you really want to try, whether it’s a hobby, food, etc.? Baking! I feel like it would be therapeutic for me, so it’s something I want to get into. It’d be awesome to master chocolate chip cookies.
What websites do you frequent most often? YouTube these days, for sure. I also use a lot of Google Suite for work.
The last person you found attractive — what did they look like? Big eyes, medium-length hair, bright smile.
If you could go back in time, would you prefer to go forward or backward? this question is so jacked LOL. "if you could go back, would you go foward?" go away. < Hahahaha true, but I’d go forward in time. I want to fast forward to feeling happy again, if that will even be the correct guess.
Post a link to the last video you watched online. Aw man, your timing made me a little sad. I’m currently watching the GMM episode that featured Kobe Bryant a few years ago.
Is there anything bothering you at the moment? You bet there is.
What color was the last shirt you wore? I’m wearing a black and white striped shirt right now, but the one I wore before this had a leopard print.
What sort of things do you like to post or look at on Tumblr? I just do surveys full-time now, man. I hopped off the fandom side of Tumblr 6-7 years ago and this has been my ~main blog since, if I had to call it anything.
What scent was the last candle you burned? It was just a plain candle that we had to light up because we had a blackout. I don’t really get my own candles to relax or whatever.
What type of people are you usually attracted to? I’m demi, so it will always differ. I don’t have a ‘type’ of person.
Do you collect anything? If so, what? Can’t say I do.
When you look to your left, what is the first thing you see? What about the right? I see my bed on the left, and the wall and the glare from my phone on the right.
What room are you currently in? What color are the walls/floor? I’m in my bedroom. Walls are white, floor is brown.
What color is the last blanket you used? Pink but it has polka dots of various colors. My light is currently turned off and it’s dark, though, so I don’t feel like reaching for my blanket just to list down its other colors.
What do you smell like right now? I think I just smell like person...I wasn’t around strong scents today.
If it was possible to celebrate a holiday everyday, which would you choose? That would get boring really fast, but idk...Christmas, I guess? It’d be nice to have big grand dinners everyday and to see regularly relatives I only see 1-2 times a year.
If you could compare yourself to a celebrity or character, who would it be? Mr. Peanutbutter from BoJack Horseman. Loyal, wacky, covers everything up with humor, very expressive when it comes to love.
Which male celebrities do you find attractive? Timothée Chalamet, Troye Sivan, Mark Ruffalo.
Which female celebrities do you find attractive? Kristen Stewart, Kate Winslet, Rosamund Pike, Claire Foy, Courteney Cox, Mila Kunis, Emma Stone.
If you could marry one of your favorite celebrities and have a happy relationship until the end of your days, who would it be? I’d go with Mark Ruffalo, heh
What song are you listening to at the moment? I have Good Mythical Morning on, not music.
What is currently on your desk? Just my headphones at the moment. I usually use my laptop on the desk too, but right now I prefer to be on the floor just because.
What brand is your computer? Apple.
What are the last things you ate and drank? For eat, I had sushi bake with nori sheets. For drink, I had water.
How often do you take naps and how long do they usually last? I take naps in the afternoon but only on weekends now, because work. How long they last always varies, depending on how hot it is in my room. Higher temperature = quicker, less satisfying naps.
Which season do you wish lasted all year? I definitely wish we got rain all year.
What is the last part of your body that itched? My back.
Is there anything that you should be doing right now? Nope. My day is over and I’m happy to take a survey or two tonight.
Is there anything you’re craving right now? Pad thai. I did ask my dad to make it again, so I should expect it any day soon.
How do you take your tea? I don’t drink tea.
1 note · View note
Text
Grace & Ava
Grace: you okay babes???! Ava: The furthest from without actually being 💀 Grace: Oh my god what even?! aren't you at that uni thing? Ava: For a few more hours yet, give me strength Ava: Last night was Ava: nah Grace: last night was a sorority girl horror 📽🎞 or like ??? Ava: Allegedly a thing but I've yet to see anyone rocking a skinhead without it being a Choice™ Ava: So, everyone else did go to the 📽🎞 last night but I pulled a sickie 'cos Ava: well, that can do one as a concept but also Ava: Are you sure you even want this? It's a whole saga, like 🙄😫 Grace: duh x 10000 Grace: there's nothing anyone can tell me about mean girls 🔪💔 we can skip 📽🎞 when I've IRL lived it Grace: & obvs! talk to me I'm BEYOND concerned Ava: There are no mean girls Ava: and I think the shit I pulled is beyond a Regina level even Grace: UM no way are you casting yourself 👑 thanks! what happened?! Ava: Sorry but you can try and come for the 👑 after I tell you Ava: So they get current pupils to show you around, do the tour, answer questions, do the whole programme with you, right? Ava: Must be good extra credit or whatever, anyway Ava: There's this guy, and the whole time there's this total...vibe, you know? And I'm not delusional or sad like that, its an actual thing but I know him, know of him Ava: so I know why I should just ignore it, but instead when everyone is out, I DM him Grace: excuse you bitch I'm literally reformed but like putting that ASIDE cos this is so much more IMPORTANT!😱😱 Grace: so are we talking a phoneful of regret or IRL walk of shame? Ava: We talked for a while, so I have literal evidence it wasn't just one-sided but truly do not wanna be that girl but like, I swear Ava: anyway, we did go out, properly and it was Ava: so good Ava: but then he had to go and now I have to die Grace: duh it was 😍😍😍 I know what a vibe means Grace: he has a gf yeah? honey we've ALL done it don't even stress he's obvs not that into her Ava: No its Ava: more complex Ava: there's Ava: well, he's married Ava: but he's not as old as that makes him sound but yeah, clearly quite into her Grace: Ew! What's with everyone getting 💍👰 Grace: if Janis gets proposed to I'm kmsing Grace: it doesn't sound that complex though babes, don't let this family fool you, 💔💍 is such a thing™ Ava: Can't see it myself Ava: they are cute though Ava: of course but I'm not out here doing that myself, that's Buster's bread and butter, not mine Ava: they have kids as well, two Grace: 🙄🤢 Grace: totally but we literally NEVER have to tell her or them that shh Grace: well that explains it 🤰👰💍 he probs doesn't even love her Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: One of them is like...6 or something and the other is a baby so there's like no excuse Ava: It didn't come to anything more than a kiss but I'm mortified Grace: 6? How old is he?! Ava: Again, not as old as that makes him sound Ava: 22 ish, in his last year Grace: THANK GOD! I was literally picturing like a hot 40 Ava: Somehow that would be less complicated Ava: Unless he was a friend of my parents or something but not trying to hit every cliche before I even start Uni Grace: UGH! remember when I went to the fair with that lad who turned out to be 19 & everyone lost it like I was being groomed 🙄 Grace: such a drama Grace: this seriously doesn't sound that bad Grace: either he's bored of her or having his 🍰 & 😋 Grace: who stopped it at 😘😘? Ava: Well, he did turn out to be a creep didn't he Ava: but he could've been a 15 year old creep as easily, I see your point Ava: He did Ava: his phone kept going off Ava: it must've been her Grace: yeah & like I totally worked it out for myself from reading the vibe Grace: same as you last night Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: did he answer? did you literally have to sit there 🤐!!! Ava: I think I might've got the vibe seriously wrong Ava: well, no Ava: I don't know Ava: we were in a club, he couldn't Ava: but we left real quick and he hasn't looked at me today so that's been fun Grace: oh girl please Grace: trust, as someone who has gotten the vibe wrong WAY more times than we need to admit outside of this convo, you so didn't Grace: he's having a freakout, we've ALL been there too, yeah? Ava: Clearly Ava: 😂 Ava: Oh God Ava: I just need to pretend this never happened and peace Grace: come over Grace: we'll go out & make some new drama happen Grace: soon as you do, you'll know if he's bothered Ava: Sounds good Ava: If I didn't have two other Unis to hit before Summer officially starts 🙄 Grace: OMG you're so extra Ava: Rude 😂 Ava: Not as if I can go here now, is it? Ava: I'm burning through options, girl Grace: ILY for it 💜 Grace: did you wanna go there for real? Ava: Not hugely Ava: it was in my top 5 but its definitely not 🥇 Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: it was obvs a 🏆💋 so Ava: seriously Ava: though I'm probably gonna find out that he's made time for every girl on this program Grace: did you pick up on any other vibes? Ava: I don't think so Ava: He did say other girls were flirting with him though Grace: 😂 boys always say that Grace: literally will have been hitting refresh waiting on you 💬 Ava: Or, they really were and that was a subtle dig that I just ignored Ava: 🤡🤡 Grace: ugh don't Grace: nobody's looked hotter the morning after babes Grace: he'd be the 🤡 Ava: Minus the HP🗲 scar Ava: idk where that came from, which doesn't bode well for how trashed I must've been Grace: if he was as wasted maybe he doesn't remember & that's why he blanked you cos everything is Grace: 👋 been there Ava: I wish Ava: like I said, we know each other Grace: do you know his 👰? Ava: 😶 Ava: Just kill me now Grace: has he posted anything? Ava: About how much he 💕 his wife and kids? Ava: Fuck knows Grace: well yeah or idk how wasted he was Grace: anything to go on Ava: His 👰 would not approve Grace: if he doesn't have like a private snap he's no 💔 Ava: Wasn't my first question Ava: Probably does but bit late to ask now Grace: you literally could Grace: cringe but no more cringe than running into him playing happy families when you go get coffee Ava: I'm just gonna leave it Ava: Not a moment too soon Grace: 👌👌💜 Ava: When the alcohol leaves my system my head will be less 🤯 Ava: Standard Grace: his too though Grace: maybe he'll come to you Grace: 🤞 yeah or 🤞 no? Ava: I don't know what I want Ava: or feel about any of it Ava: It's better to just assume nah, a pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment Grace: mhmm Ava: Shut up Ava: I'm confused and hungover, I don't know anything 🙄😏 Grace: no shade Ava: I know Ava: This is too extra Ava: even from me, right Grace: you can wear the 👑 until I earn it back Grace: cos duh who's more extra Grace: me, this hoe Ava: 😂 I'm ready for it Grace: you gotta let me have it there's no 😘💖😍 in my 🔮 Ava: Not even a little? Grace: there was a little but it got too much Grace: too close to being like Grace: I can't Grace: I'm out Ava: I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, honestly Grace: makes me feel like I'm cracking up Grace: no thanks Ava: Preaching to the converted today Grace: 🙌 Ava: I'll definitely come over some point this Summer though Grace: YAY Grace: I so need you Ava: I think me and the 'rents are going the first two weeks, then I'm going with my friends the last two Ava: so sometime in the middle to play with Grace: ugh if only my mum and dad were organised about anything ever Grace: god knows when or where they'll spring a hol 🙄🙄 Ava: All fun and games Ava: least you get more space these days, I guess Grace: if they're gonna be annoying I'll just bring you with 🤷 Ava: Three holidays would be a record Grace: hot older lad who?! 😂 Grace: Brazil is on another level Ava: If there's sun and sea, I'm happy Grace: you'll be sooo 😊 Ava: 😘 Grace: 💜 Ava: I did not think that would be such a rant Ava: IOU a coffee, I'll ping you the funds rn forreal Grace: As if! like I've NEVER done you that way Grace: shhh Ava: It's done Ava: Consider it a reminder we need a proper catch up when my head is less fried Grace: 👌👌 fine Ava: Don't be mad, it is essential some good happens today Grace: It's fine babes, promise Ava: Good Ava: I better try and finish this essay thing Ava: Or at least make a better start Grace: or at least get yourself a coffee & put some lipstick on Ava: Cheers, I know I look clapped 😂 Grace: shut up Grace: you do not! Ava: I wouldn't wanna chat to me either tbh Grace: Girl, stop Grace: this convo has been wild & I'm living Ava: I meant him, not you 😉 Ava: Only subjected socials to one pic, like Grace: well duh he wants to kiss you again not have a chat Grace: if you wanna talk you'll have to Grace: there's only one kind of convo lads ever start Ava: Hmm Ava: Have better luck with this essay than thinking of something worth saying Grace: what do you wanna say? Grace: like if you could just Ava: Christ Ava: firstly, what the fuck? Grace: he can't shade you for starting there Ava: Though I initiated it so, ugh Grace: he didn't have to go along with any of it Grace: his wife & kids were literally waiting at home for him so Grace: you like deserve to know if there are other girls or not Ava: What's more insane though Ava: asking around every girl on this course, or asking him Ava: There are definite drawbacks either way from where I'm sitting Grace: you said you know him, how much does he lie? Grace: asking him will be more than cringe if you can't believe a word, it'll be pointless Ava: I don't know him like that but Ava: I suppose I've heard that he's a typical lad in most regards so Grace: yeah Ava: but that's from one source so Ava: who's to say they're 100% reliable Grace: right Grace: I'll stalk the other girls, obvs am insane so Ava: No Ava: 'cos then I'll have to tell you who he is Ava: and it'll all get out of hand Grace: OMG do I know him??! Ava: How would you? Ava: 'course not Grace: then why does it matter if you tell me or not? Ava: I'll sort it myself Grace: Ava Grace: is it already out of hand? Ava: That'd depend on who you asked too Grace: I'm asking you Ava: I've got this Grace: promise Ava: 🤞 Grace: 👌
1 note · View note
hellforcertain · 6 years
Text
i like how one of the few reasons i can pinpoint when about i got sick is that i can use snowmageddon (late 2014/early 2015) as a starting point 
this is really long and i’d appreciate you not reblogging this but i don’t think i’ve ever written any of this out, and i would keep it private somewhere else but i kinda want to feel idk. validated? i never really put it into words like this until now. would also appreciate if you respond to this in some way (either a like or a reply) if you read it.
[cw for suicidal ideation in one part; skip the paragraph that begins “at some point that spring...”, after i talk abt my grandpa, if you don’t want to read it. it’s referenced in the next paragraph too. idk if there’s anything else i really need to warn for, but tell me if i do.]
i injured my knee thanksgiving 2013, when i was a sophomore. i was hiking in the hills around my parents’ house with some of my cousins, and it had snowed recently so everything was slick and slippery, and at one point my feet slid out from under me and i tumbled down an incline until my right knee connected with a tree. that thankfully stopped my fall but like, at what cost.
it was so bad that jo had to half-support me walking the couple blocks from our dorms to tufts to have an x-ray done in december 2013, which had been recommended by emerson’s health center (which was a joke; when i saw... i think an NP, she had to flip through a book until she found the “knee” section before she examined me). i couldn’t attend several classes of one of my courses the rest of that semester bcos it was in the building furthest from my dorm and i could barely walk there; i barely made it to the final. i never heard from the health center about the x-ray, so i figured that at least it wasn’t broken. it still bothered me but it became more manageable than it had been (not entirely tho bcos iirc i failed or didn’t complete two courses spring 2014, but that was also bcos of the undiagnosed adhd).
i moved directly into the studio from my sophomore dorm in may 2014, and lived there until june 2015 (which encompassed my junior year until i dropped out in november 2014).
my parents wanted me to fly down to spend a week in florida with them in august 2014, and i think this is what happened: the morning before i left on that flight i rolled off my futon badly and banged my bad knee against the (hardwood) floor really hard. i was in pain for a lot of that trip -- flying certainly didn’t help matters -- and when i got back it didn’t get better so i bought a cane a couple weeks before classes started back so i could get used to it before i had to use it to get to class.
(at the end of that trip, my mom forced me to let her clean out my ear with a qtip, jabbed it in too far and fucked up my ear, and then the next day i got on a plane back to boston and the issue got so bad i couldn’t walk down the street without holding onto a wall. i don’t think my eardrum burst or anything because it was better by the time i actually got to see a specialist about it and i haven’t suffered any permanent effects from it as far as i can tell, but at times it felt like it.)
i bought a cane in mid august 2014, and i know bcos i ordered it off amazon. the florida trip might have been in mid august, so there’s a possibility i banged my knee on the floor before the florida trip, and bought the cane when i realized i wouldn’t be able to walk in florida without it.
i know i reinjured my knee in august 2014, and i know i bought a cane then, and i know i also damaged my eardrum in august 2014 when i was in florida (well, my mom damaged it). i’m not sure exactly what order those took place in.
it got worse as the semester progressed, and i started doing less and less well in my courses, because not only was i dealing with the still-undiagnosed adhd, i was also in a lot of pain all the time. i remember making the conscious decision to stop going to my spanish class bcos the professor would have us stand up and walk around the class and talk to each other a lot and i couldn’t manage standing up for even that long, and i was so scattered and so fucked up from middle & high school that i couldn’t ask for help and the easier option was just to stop attending. i made the decision to go on medical leave late that semester -- probably in november or december 2014, i can’t remember which. there was the death of a family friend who i had been close to around that time too, and i was in too much pain and too swamped with trying to catch up on all these courses i hadn’t been attending to fly to florida and attend her funeral, which was another stone on top of all the others weighing me down (when i told my parents i had dropped out, i told them that it was her death that sent me into a breakdown, which wasn’t entirely a lie; i just didn’t tell them i’d been having a breakdown for months up until then).
i started getting sick and feeling pain that i couldn’t explain at all -- sure, i knew why my knee hurt, but i didn’t know why my joints were stiff and painful, and why i was hurting randomly separately from the joint pain. it got so bad that some days i had to crawl to get to the bathroom, and it was only a handful of steps away from my bed. i stopped doing my t shots bcos it was too much effort when i hurt so much already -- it got to the point that my periods started back up again, though i only had them very rarely. i think the only thing i managed to do was go to my shifts as desk guy in one of the dorms on campus.
when i went to visit my parents at some point, my mom thought it was just bcos i needed to get in shape and lose some weight to lessen the stress on my bad knee. tbh i don’t know when that happened, i just knew it was when i was still a student bcos i went to the gym once with a friend and it was really fuckin painful and terrible and just made everything worse. she might have said that when we were in florida, actually. idk.
living in the studio meant i lived totally alone, but jo was there a lot bcos i had an extra bed (i’d bought a loft bed bcos i wanted one and had never had one as a kid and this place had high ceilings, but i’d also bought a futon for cheap off a guy who was moving out of the building, which turned out to be a real blessing when i couldn’t make it up the ladder to the loft bed; when jo stayed at the computer labs late working on projects, they’d come crash on my loft bed bcos my building was near campus and by the time the labs closed, the t had stopped running) and i made kinda-friends with the security desk guy
that fall and winter i’d say i saw delivery guys more often than i saw my own friends (bcos i literally couldn’t handle the walking that grocery shopping would have required, and i didn’t know abt grocery delivery services at the time. idk if they were even a thing at the time). all “groceries” were bought at the cvs down the block, bcos they had things like butter and shredded cheese and tortillas (i ate a lot of tortillas that year) and pre-cut fruit, and the walgreens across the street from cvs had frozen burger patties that i think set off the smoke alarm every time i cooked them; anything else i ate was from delivery guys. i dissociated a lot that year, very very badly, and some delusional tendencies i’d had in high school came rearing back up. 
bcos i couldn’t do much else i threw myself into this site (esp on one of my sideblogs), and if you look at the amount of stuff i reblogged/posted then vs now you’d see that i had p much no other life. which was... not good but i also made some really good and valuable friendships then -- including em so like, not everything from then turned out bad. sadly, a lot of irl friendships stagnated, and it wasn’t the other party’s fault. i also played a lot of skyrim bcos it was one of like. two games i owned for my ps3, and even though the rest of me hurt a lot, my hands were surprisingly okay.
(i also went through a series of nb identities and pronouns that never really fit bcos that was the heyday of tumblr’s whole “if ur a trans man ur evil for wanting to be a man, u should be nb instead” phase and i was far too concerned with all that bcos like i said, i didn’t have much of a life outside this site at the time.)
i don’t recall much of thanksgiving or christmas breaks at my parents’, except that i got my name legally changed during i think christmas break 2014. iirc we had to reschedule my flight back to boston bcos i had to wait an extra day to be able to get everything done that i needed to, and bcos we needed to change the name on the flight. i remember crying at some official bcos they said that they couldn’t get me a new... driver’s license maybe? until a couple days down the road, but i had to be back for college by then and i have everything else done please just let me get my license today. and since it’s a small town in the south they totally folded, thankfully. i was just very stressed at that point, i hadn’t even meant to cry at them.
then snowmageddon happened in early 2015, and classes were cancelled and roads were closed and the t like, half shut down until like may. it was especially bad for me because most of my friends were in allston and they couldn’t exactly get downtown to hang out with me much. iirc, my friend who was an RA left college around the same time i did, maybe a few months before? i think i was still working desk shifts when they left, so it had to have been before i did.
march 2015 was good and bad: during jo’s spring break (and what would have been mine if i had still been in college), we escaped the snow and took their car on a roadtrip down the blue ridge parkway (well. that was the plan but it was closed thanks to the snow, so we drove down I-95 and ended up in asheville nc like two days after our leisurely road trip started. i turned 21 on that roadtrip, and so no longer had to rely on my friends to buy me alcohol, which was nice. we celebrated it at this local restaurant in whatever town we’d stopped at that night, and all i remember is that you could buy steaks from a counter at the front, and the drink i ordered for myself was incredibly orange.
my grandpa also died that march; he’d actually been dying since february, but i didn’t go to see him then; jo and i were in knoxville tn at one point, and my parents wanted me to drive up since knoxville is only like three hours from my hometown, but by then he was p much in a coma so it wouldn’t really be visiting, would it, and also it would have been mega unfair to drag jo into that mess. iirc his funeral was that april, bcos there was a funeral service at my parents’ church where he occasionally preached at, and then one at the mennonite church he attended after moving in with us, and then they had to get him to ohio for the big service (which was the one i attended).
(this was the grandpa who thought i was possessed by a demon for being trans so like. lmao. didn’t mourn him much then, and still haven’t.)
at some point that spring, after the spring break roadtrip and grandpa’s funeral, my dysphoria got really really really bad, bad enough to trigger the most suicidal episode i’d had since middle school/high school. it was a culmination of the negative thoughts and feelings i’d been having since i moved into this place (which had only worsened as i got sicker and when winter hit). i didn’t do anything, but i had to call a friend every time i left the building for like a week so that i didn’t walk into traffic. 
i moved out of the studio at the end of april or may of 2015, and went back to live with my parents for a bit because the lease for my text apartment didn’t start until september 2015 (since i was living with friends/former classmates who were still in school and weren’t going to be in boston until classes started back up in september). moving out was an Ordeal bcos my dad came up to help me and brought my sister, who hated boston so much that she was on the edge of a panic attack the whole time, which made her impossible to deal with. at one point we got into a fight over something super minor and it escalated and ended with her screaming at the top of her lungs, in my empty echoey studio that had the door open so god and all my neighbors could hear, that she wished i was dead. this was not the first or last time she expressed this sentiment, and was tame compared to some (like the time she said she’d stab me in my sleep). i told her i’d been suicidal weeks earlier and she left the building to go take something to the car and when i didn’t follow her (bcos i was cooling off), she freaked out and had a panic attack all over our dad. she didn’t tell him why, or that she was at fault, and when i came down a few minutes later he ripped into me until i stopped and told him what she had said. so, yknow. a fun final memory of that apartment.
i think that was when my mom finally acknowledged that my pain wasn’t just a weight thing, and that i should actually see someone when i got back to boston. my symptoms got worse too: i started having horrible pain in my hands, to the point that i couldn’t move them, and none of us really knew what to do. i found some compression gloves online and begged my mom to let me get them but she kept refusing because she was worried i’d mess my hands up worse with them, and i still don’t entirely understand that train of thought, because i was like, screaming crying at them because i was hurting so so much, and some compression gloves couldn’t have been worse than that (and i finally pointed out that they were gloves; i could take them off if they were hurting more than helping). they finally relented, thankfully. 
june 2015 was the first time i met em in person; i decided, almost on impulse, to take a week and drive down to florida and spend the week with them bcos they were living with their grandparents at the time and their grandparents were going to be out of town for like a week. they played a lot of fnv on their ps3 while i played don’t starve on my laptop. the place had a guest bedroom that was technically mine, but i don’t think i ever used it except to get changed; we tended to pass out in weird positions on em’s bed. we didn’t get much else done bcos i discovered that florida weather + my joints wasn’t a great combo, but it was still an amazing week.
that same summer i also got fitted for my knee brace. i think that same summer i got some treatments from a sports medicine doctor my mom is friends with. possibly steroid injections? i’d have to ask her. 
i moved into the medford house with some friends in september 2015, and dear lord was that a mess. the roommates were great, don’t get me wrong, but the house had mice we had to take care of, there was a gas leak at one point bcos the stove’s knobs didn’t work right and didn’t shut off the gas when we turned them off, the boiler was a broken leaky piece of shit that would shut itself off every like two days bcos the water level got so low (contrast the place we’re living in now, where we had to go put more water in the boiler maybe like. three times all winter), the landlord and his wife were total creeps and freaks -- he would only respond to my email even though my roommates tried to open lines of communication at various times, and one time i woke up with her in my bedroom bcos she was checking the radiator (which wasn’t working bcos the boiler wasn’t working and they refused to fix or replace it until winter was over) and she had the audacity to chew me out for my space heater. i was fucking sick, lady. give me a fucking break. the best thing, hands down, about the medford place was there was a corner store with a good deli across the street, so i could go in my pajamas to get a good sandwich and a box of fries. great place, great people.
i got referred to a rheumatologist that fall, and my first appointment with him was in november (i also at some point... i think in spring of 2015 started using testogel, because i wouldn’t have been able to get the stuff for injections refilled while i was in kentucky. i don’t remember when i switched back to injections but i did at some point while living at the medford house, which i once again was terrible at keeping up with).
at the time, my deadname was still on my insurance bcos even tho i’d changed my name earlier that year, i was still on my parents’ insurance and my dad wouldn’t fucking change my name there and wouldn’t give me the information to do it myself. my rheumatologist took one look at me and how i was responding to being called my deadname, and he asked if there was another name i went by that i’d be more comfortable with, and i was rarely called my deadname again after that (and only by a couple nurses until they got to know me better). ofc that stopped being an issue when i switched to my own masshealth plan (in early 2017 i think?).
he listened to the whole mess of a story, felt my joints, and then poked at the middle of my chest (which i now know is a common fibro trigger point). when i recoiled back bcos that hurt far more than it should have, he said “yep that looks fibro-y.” i don’t remember if i suggested fibro and/or rheumatoid arthritis, or if he did. he prescribed me some medications -- including tramadol, my savior that winter. i’d been taking tramadol already bcos i’d had some left over from... i think lasik, and a friend had given me some percocet for very bad days. i was so unused to the tramadol back then that it’d throw me for a loop, occasionally make me nauseated, and also knock me out. it was p great.
back then i’d have to ask my roommate danny to open like, water or pop bottles nine times out of ten bcos i just couldn’t. now, i can’t remember the last time i had a serious problem opening bottles on a consistent basis. there have been some bad days where i couldn’t, but it’s not like that’s all the time.
i improved in fits and starts after that; i can’t remember all the meds i tried with him, but i’m sure they’re in a file somewhere that i could request. i still wasn’t doing anywhere near good, but it was better than before -- if only, maybe, bcos i wasn’t dealing with this totally on my own. but you know what didn’t help? that house’s terrible fucking boiler. we’d wake up some days in the middle of winter and it’d be in the 50s inside the house, and i was the only one who knew how to fix the boiler (i’d taught the roommates, including the subletter we got when danny left for a semester in LA, but apparently the only one who could go down the stairs to take care of it was the fuckin cripple).
spring 2016 was awesome bcos i’d gotten a ps4 and destiny for christmas, and the subletter we got had two cats who i loved and who loved me, and everything was beautiful even tho i definitely still hurt a lot. i can’t remember much of note during this period, health-wise. it was mostly more of the same, but on top of it was trying to balance playing a shooter and having shitty hands that didn’t want me down anything with them.
summer 2016, when i was still in the medford house, em came to visit me (among other people -- they roadtripped up over the course of a couple weeks) and spent several days there. i had plans to take them to do touristy stuff in boston, but that never happened haha. and like we don’t have a solid date on when we got together bcos long-distance stuff can be fuzzy about things like that but that visit was our first kiss.
in september 2016 i moved into the allston apartment, and the less i say about that the better. i started back with a therapist in like february 2017; i hadn’t been to a therapist for years by this time, bcos my previous therapist had moved to a different office in the network and then left the area and i had never gotten back in touch with her after she moved to the other office. i also started on testopel, because injections were once again not working out.
that apartment was p much like living in the studio bcos even tho i had two roommates, it was an apartment i’d found in an emerson group centered on finding roommates, so i hadn’t known either of them beforehand; i wasn’t really living with them; we just happened to share some common spaces. health-wise i improved some as we found medications that worked for me, but i was still not doing even close to good. i had trouble going grocery shopping even though the grocery store was only a handful of blocks away because various parts of me would hurt too much to handle it, and by the time i was halfway home i would be almost dead. so, yknow. not a great time overall.
in september of 2017 i moved into this house with em and jo, and it’s been a fantastic decision bcos im finally living with people who care about me and will kick my ass into shape if i need it. em finally made me go to my rheumatologist and be like “so i know i’ve been saying i’ve been fine but i moved in with my partner recently and they’ve pointed out that im doing less fine than i said bcos i’d brushed off a lot of things as normal that they’ve told me are not, in fact, normal”, which was when he prescribed flexeril, and i think that’s helped me more than almost anything else has. holy shit. im taking a higher dose than my father (who’s like 6′1″ and has at least a hundred pounds on me) can handle but it’s working for me. i also went back to t injections a couple months ago bcos i didn’t enjoy missing everything for a week bcos it took forever for the testopel spot to heal, and i couldn’t sit on the spot until it healed; plus now that i’m living with em, they can remind me when i forget to do my shot. also, after a lot of fits and starts and panic over the last few years, im finally talking with a surgeon about top surgery. 
overall like, i went back and looked at a lot of posts i made several years ago to get dates for this point, and i can barely recognize myself in some of those posts. my illnesses had ground everything else away, until all that was the physical pain and the emotional anguish, and i wish i could tell my past self that it gets better: that he’ll find medications that work for him and he’ll move in with people who he loves and love him back, and that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows here in 2018 but it’s so much better. 2015 me definitely deserved that.
and that’s true: that i’m not cured, and i still have very bad days, but i’m also having more and more good days -- days that were unthinkable back then. i’m on medications that help me physically, and i’ve been diagnosed with adhd and am on a medication that helps me mentally. when i flew down to kentucky earlier this month to attend my sister’s graduation, my dad remarked on how much better i was walking and moving just compared to thanksgiving. i can’t even imagine comparing myself now to myself a few years ago. i think i’m going to save this post so that when i’m feeling down about being sick, i can remind myself how far i’ve come, and how much i’ve weathered so far; whatever storm comes next, i think i’ll be able to handle it.
idk where i was trying to go with this, but it ended up a super overly long chronicle of the last few years. so uh. yeah. like i mentioned before, i’d appreciate if you show that you read all this, either with a like or a reply, esp if you get to the end
15 notes · View notes
prplzorua · 6 years
Note
Hey, can you write Thomas, the sides and friends taking care of trans Verge with cramps? Mine are really bad today :(
Oh man, really sorry your cramps are bad, I’m suffering with you tbh, uteruses suck sometimes. I’m also sorry for this but I don’t write Trans characters. Nothing against my Trans peeps, it’s simply that I myself am not Trans and I do not wish to “romanticize” it. I write everything I do based on either my experiences or a close Irl buddy. I have no such friend nor experience as a Trans person and I refuse to write something where I’m banking on clichés that may possibly be offensive. So until I have an Irl friendo who is Trans and they wish to share their experiences and check what I have written then I won’t be writting any Trans characters.
Buuut this happened to my best bro so you still get Virgil suffering with us ;)
Tw: nightmares, slight gore?
—-
He was running.
Running as fast as he could.
His breath burned in his throat as his breathing grew more and more ragged. His exhaustion grew as well but he couldn’t stop now, the creature was right behind him.
Virgil couldn’t tell you how he ended up here nor could he tell you where he was or what exactly was chasing him, all he knew was that he had to get out and make sure as hell that thing didn’t get him.
He didn’t take much backward glances for fear of it catching up to him, but from the few glances he did take he knew the thing was tall, freakishly so with shadowy skin, a huge face and rows upon rows of sharp teeth. It’s eyes were a terrifying yellow and it’s claws- oh god, they scraped the ground as it ran. Long, sharp and drippy with some time of ooze, one he could only assume was a type of poison.
He didn’t know why it was chasing him but he wasn’t going to stick around to find out. So he booked it. Only realizing that the landscape was completely different from what he was used to.
He was running in a sick, perverse version of a dead forest. The trees were old, leafless and decrepit. Almost all of them looked the same, with little holes in them that had little yellow eyes blinking at him.
Virgil kept running.
He wasn’t going to bother climbing a tree or hidding, the creature was tall enough to spot him and if not, one of those things in the trees would surely get to him. His only option was foward, so he ran in an off zig-zag hoping to throw the thing off.
It seemed to be working but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep that up for long. The thing was still coming.
Gritting his teeth, Verge pressed on, forcing his shaky legs to move, he may not know where he was but he damn well was going to figure out how to get out. He was following the direction of the wind, this may have been a crappy forest but there was bound to be a sea or lagoon close by.
He figured that with the thing’s height it wouldn’t be able to swim and if it could it wouldn’t be fast enough to catch him. He could dive down, swim to shore and book it in the opposite direction and get out of what ever hell he was trapped in, well that’s what he hoped.
His assumptions payed off when just a little distance off he was meet with a black sea. The thing was still chasing him, it’s claws grinding in the dirt and rock, making god awful sounds as it approached. Virgil redoubled his efforts and used all his might to sprint down towards the water.
He made it to the shore… and that was as far as he had gotten.
Just as he was about to jump in the black sea, the creature teleported infront of him. Terrified Verge jumped back only for the thing to smile at him.
He felt himself being lifted and was now held at the monster’s eye level. It was only then he realized that the creature’s cold claws was through his abdomen.
The thing chuckled, all of it’s teeth rattling, and in one swift moved it pulled the dark trait’s intestines from out his body.
And dropped Virgil to the ground below.
But before he felt the impact he felt a tug, and the next thing he knows is ice.
—–
Virgil shot up on his bed with a gasp, cold sweat covering his body, as his heart raced and he subconsciously squeezed his midsection.
He felt extremely dizzy and the adrenaline had yet to wear off. He felt another cold tug and realized too late what it was.
—-
“Virgil!” Shouted Thomas.
“Do you want me to go get him kiddo? He was in a pretty deep sleep when I checked on him this morning”
The host scratched his head, “uh, sure Pat, but I guess I can try summoning him one more time? If it doesn’t work you can go get him”
“And of that doesn’t work?”, asked Roman.
Thimas shrugged, “Well if he’s that tired it doesn’t make sense to force him. I mean, we all know what happened last time-”
“Yes, he was unable to read his script with out squinting or say his lines without stuttering or yawning in every frame”, interjected Logan.
“True, but it was a good addition to the Bloopers vid-”
“Yeah Roman but not as good as Talyn’s Vetal Mike!” Piped Joan from somewhere in the kitchen. The three sides and Thomas turned to look at the datemates.
Talyn was red faced with a poptart in their mouth. They bit into it and held the rest menacingly at Joan, “You’re not getting the rest”
“What?! Tal come on, just a bite?”
“No”
“Taaaaaal!”
“No way, you shouldn’t have brought it up!”
By now Joan was chasing Talyn around the kitchen but the smaller friend was using their height and speed against the beanie lover, effectively evading them.
Thomas chuckled at his friends antics before turning back to his sides with a shrug, “we’ll I guess… I should call him again?”
The others just shrugged, so he attempted to summon his youngest trait once more.
“Virgil!”
“Gahh!” Said trait landed on the bottom of the stairs with a non to nice ‘Thud’.
Everyone stopped moving.
—-
Virgil gripped his head, the impact caused it to spin and his dizziness to increase, more so than in his room.He sat up only to groan in pain and hug his middle.
“Verge? You ok kiddo?”
The dark trait lifted his head in Patton’s direction. “I don’t-”, he cut himself off by slapping a hand to his mouth. Everyone could practically see what little color the emo had, drain from his face.
He gagged, “I don’t feel so-”
To this day Thomas will thank Joan for saving his stairs and floor with their quick thinking.
They had grabbed the empty garbage bin from the kitchen and quickly carried it over to the dark side. Virgil didn’t hesitate, he grabbed the bin and heaved.
Patton was the first to move over to help the younger, gently he kept Virgil’s bangs out of his face with one hand, while rubbing his back with the other.
It took a bit for Verge’s stomach to leave him be, but once it calmed, Talyn handed him a cold water bottle and he rinsed his mouth with the water before spitting into the bin.
—-
“What could have caused this?” Inquired Logan.
“I don’ know!” Groaned Virgil from his pitiful curled up state on the couch. Roman had carried him there and Verge didn’t even bother putting up a  fight.
“Did you eat some bad food?” Questioned the fatherly trait from somewhere beside the emo.
Virgil just shrugged, still holding his abdomen.
“Or maybe too much food before bed?” Supplied Prince.
“Probably”, mumbled the Dark trait.
“ You know, that gives you nightmares right?”
Well he knew now.
Virgil groaned again.
—-
“Well its obvious that you have stomach cramps Virgil, nothing a simple analgesic won’t be able to fix. Do we have any Advil Thomas?”
“Uh, let me check Logan”, the host then turned and shouted down the  hall, “Hey Joan, we got any Advil?”
Joan came out with a first aid kit and a frown, “we’ve got absolutely nothing in here”
“Oh shoot!”
Virgil groaned again, whether from pain or dread, no one knows.
Talyn pat the emo gently on his shoulder, “welcome to a preview of what everyone with a uterus goes through every month”
Verge scoffed, “what with the vomiting too?”
“Yep, well for some atleast, so yeah. Really all you're  missing is the other pains and the blo-”
Thomas cut his shorter friend off. “Nope! Let’s not go there Tal, we don’t have any painkillers for him-”
“I’ve got some Midol in my bag”
“Ha.hah, very funny Tal”, mumbled the prone Virgil on the couch.
Thomas shook his head at the multi color haired friend. He then drew a sympathetic gaze for Verge. “Joan and I are going to go get you some pain meds-”
“And  restock this first aid kit”
“Yeah, Joan, that too, good thinking”
“May I go with you Thomas, I do believe three heads will be able to tackle this task sufficiently-”
“I’m going too!”
“Why?”
“Well I can’t let you have all the fun nerd, besides I’ve been on adventures and quests, I know a thing or two about what to have in a first aid kit”
“So…”, started Takyn, “I guess I stay and babysit our emo in pain?-”
“Thomas, no Talyn’s gonna kill me!”
The host shrugged, “yeah, sure-”
“Dude-!”
“I’m staying too kiddo, gotta make sure my little shadowling gets back on his feet”
“Is it too late to ask for death?”
Chuckling at Virgil’s remark, Thomas, Joan and the other two left to get the supplies, leaving Talyn and Patton to take care of the pained trait.
—-
“You sure you don’t want it? I mean it  ‘Midol-en’ you’re pain”, chuckled Talyn from th kitchen.
“Noooo”
“Aww come on kiddo, Talyn was great!
“Staaahp”
“Nah, I don’t think so dude-”
“Damn it Tal, your the worst-”
“Am I? And to think I just took my time to get you a warm cloth to put on your stomach”
“I take that back”
“Sure you do Verge”
Patton meanwhile was chuckling at the antics of the two.
——
“Roman we don’t need that many bandages!”
“You never know Logan!”
The Logical trait sighed. “Fine, just get one one the big rolls and let’s move on!”
“Heh, knew you’d see it my way, did you get the hydrogen peroxide?”
“Yes and the rubbing alcohol and the bag of cotton”
“Hmm, did you get Vicks?”
“Why, would we-?”
“Trust me, Vicks fixes almost everything”
Logan rolled his eyes, “if you say so, now can we go see what Thomas and Joan picked up?”
“I think we got everything we need from this isle so why not?”
—-
By the time the four had checked their items to make sure they weren’t buying extra, it was already 3:00pm. They reached home around 3:20 only to find Talyn playing on their phone while a curled up and sleeping Virgil was on Patton’s lap, with the fatherly trait gently rubbing his back.
“He doing ok?”
Talyn spoke up.“He’ll be fine Thomas, you got the stuff?”
“Yep”, the host held up a white plastic bag.
“Did you get him to eat?” Asked Logan.
“Not really? Uh, you uad some left over Halloween candy so I gave him a Reese’s cup”
Roman’s brow quirked. “Why? You’d give him candy before food?”
“Chocolate’s great from cramps man, it’s a godsend during those times”
“Huh, go figure”
—-
Something was shaking his shoulder.
“Virgil~”“Virgil~”
“Ngh”
It was definitely Dad.
“Come on kiddo, we got you the Advil and we need you to eat something”He lifted his head just to look at Pat before laying back down. “Noo”
“Come on lazy bones, up!”
“Don’ wanna move”
“You’re not going to feel better unless you eat, son”
“Nooo”
“No whining Sport, come on, don’t make me carry you to the table”
To everyone’s surpris, Virgil slowly sat up and held out his arms. Shrugging Patton easily picked up the darker trait and carried him to an empty chair at the table. Where the emo proceed to lay his head on the cool wood.
“Dramatic much”, questioned Roman good naturedly to the younger.
“You’re one to talk, Princey”
“Roman stop teasing him”, scolded Thimas lightly, “here Verge”, he said as he handed the emo to Advil pills and a glass of water.
“Thanks”, mumbled the Dark trait as he took the pills in his mouth and downed the whole glass. He then promptly put his head back on to the table, but thus time he made sure to have Talyn in his sights.
“If you guys have to deal with this shit and worse every month…then I gotta admit you guys are more hardcore than I thought”
“Damn right we are!”, exclaimed Talyn proudly before suddenly smirking, “but chocolate helps”
Virgil sat up instantly.
“You’re not gonna let that go are you?”
“Nope!” Smiled the shorter friend.
“Dad!”
“I’m sorry kiddo”, chuckled Patton as he brought the younger a small plate of food, “but it was pretty funny”
“It was not!” Huffed the emo indignantly, he then turned to his host, “you see Thomas? You left me with them!”
Everyone started laughing.
—–
Tag list: @thuriweaver @randomslasher @cefmua56 @tinysidestrashcaptain @justanotherpurplebutterfly @anxietyandlogic @pantasticpanini @trashsinsunrelenting @pretty-mr-sanders @princeyandanxiety @prinxietyhell @remmythepegasis @k9cat @velocifoxy @notallpotatoesarefrenchfries @sanspie122
75 notes · View notes
lunarmoonacnh · 7 years
Text
i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme
Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!
THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke
2. Phone call: my mum
3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 
4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 
5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life
HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao
7. Been cheated on: yup...
8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so
9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa
10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:
12. grey
13. mint green
14. blush pink
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 
16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would
17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 
18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 
19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 
20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me
23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 
24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  
25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(
26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos
28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer
29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this
30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife
31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear
34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 
35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 
36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 
37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year
38. Hair colour: mousy brown
39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.
41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil
42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 
43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?
44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 
45. Relationship status: extremely single
46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 
49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 
50. Right or left hand: right
FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood
52. Piercing: ears
54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?
55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 
56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 
57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao
58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 
59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery
60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975
61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 
62. Want: my dog
63. Get married: probs idk
64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist
YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 
66. Lips or eyes: eyes
67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)
68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh
71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 
72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie
HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no
75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids
76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time
77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings
78. Sex on first date: nope
79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though
80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun
81. Been arrested: nooo
82. Cried when someone died: yes
83. Fallen for a friend: yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always
85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  
86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)
87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house
88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so
89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute
OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh
91. Eye colour: greyyy
92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner
ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 
if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!
7 notes · View notes
tl-notes · 7 years
Text
Kobayashi's Maid Dragon Episode 3 Notes
Tumblr media
The 巳 (mi) kanji here is the one for snake, in a zodiac sense (normally snake is 蛇 (hebi).
As you could probably guess, this is a realtor's office. When trying to rent a new place in Japan, you are almost certainly going to go one of these offices (they’re extremely recognizable due to the dozens of floor plans plastered out front). Nowadays there are online databases you can use to look up vacant properties, but the posts are by individual realtors so even if you find a place online you’ll still need to go through them—it’s basically impossible to deal directly with the property owner or the property management company.
Also there’s nothing stopping owners from denying a contract to potential renters for being foreign, which can make finding a place a bit more of a hassle if you aren't Japanese. You’ll be at the realtor's office and pick a place you like to go look at, and they’ll have to call up the management company, who will call up the property owner, and ask if “foreigners from [your country] are okay” before moving forward with anything.
Tumblr media
Specifically he says 3LDK, which is three bedrooms, a living room, a dining room, and a kitchen. That’s the usual format for describing apartments/condos; 1K is one room plus a kitchen, 2DK is two plus dining and kitchen, etc. In the city, by far the most common type is 1K. Japan doesn't have much of a tradition of having roommates (unless you’re in a dorm of some sort), so most places are either for a single person or a family.
It can actually be pretty hard to find a place that will rent to 2+ people if they aren't married/family, presumably due to some combination of risk aversion (if you and your roommate(s) have a falling out you’re more likely to move out, I guess) and “tradition.” Not to say you can’t, of course, but it definitely adds another layer of difficulty.
irl it would have been impossible for them to find a new place to rent without proper ID for Tohru and Kannaーaside from tourists people on short-term business trips, everyone in Japan must be registered with their local government, and you need proof that you are in order to do anything like renting or opening a bank account.
Tumblr media
What she actually asks is whether Tohru is kireizuki (綺麗好き), which is a common term for someone who likes to keep things clean—like their room, office, desk, etc., not just personal hygiene.
Tumblr media
The pun here is that bugs are mushi (虫) and cavities (and the bacteria that cause them) are mushiba/mushibakin (虫歯/虫歯菌). Kobayashi’s line was like “mushi? Not mushibakin?”
Tumblr media
Kani (蟹) is crab, in case that wasn't clear. Kani Beer (bi-ru) sounds very similar to Kanibiru, which is a type of parasite that afflicts crabs. If you google image search カニビル you can see some gross pictures of it.
The other bottles there are energy drinks, which in Japan tend to be sold in those tiny bottles and are associated with (and highly marketed to) the huge masses of overworked salarymen.
“Salaryman” (サラリーマン) is by the way a loan word that is used to refer to both male and female salaried office workers.
Tumblr media
Titles include such hits as “The World and Life of an English Maid”, “Leave it to Maid!” (volumes 5, 6, and 9), ”Encyclopedia of Maid Wear ”, “Maids and Butlers”, etc.
Tumblr media
There’s that “choro-gon” thing again. This scene is a perfect example of the concept: A: “You need to clean up after yourself better!” B: “But I like having you clean up after me…” A: “Oh you! I guess it’s fine then!”
Tumblr media
And this is a perfect example of an “oyakusoku.” The instant Tohru asks to try on Kobayashi’s clothes, the audience knows there is a “the chest is a little tight…” joke coming up.
Tumblr media
Random fact: Japanese cup sizes go A→B→C→D→E, not AA→A→B→C→D→DD.
Tumblr media
Did you know that haiku aren’t just the 5-7-5 thing, but in Japanese they also specifically include “season words” (季語 kigo), that associate them with a particular season? A 5-7-5 poem without them is called a senryuu (川柳) instead. (It’s more complicated than that but, close enough.)
These “season words” are commonly used in other pieces of art as well, as symbols to show what season it is and to evoke certain sentiments.
The “first cherry blossoms” (初桜 or 初花) is what’s being referenced here. Cherry blossoms hold a lot of emotional weight in Japan, and symbolize, among other things, getting a fresh start. The Japanese school year ends in March and begins in April—the period when cherry blossoms bloom—so it’s seen as a time where you’re moving on to new things: new class, new school, new job (college students will have typically secured employment by graduation and start almost immediately), etc., even more so than spring is in other countries on a different schedule.
Tumblr media
This crane is another spring “season word,” as they return from their winter migration around March. It’s considered a happy event, as they’re finally returning home after a strenuous journey.
Hm? Migratory birds you say?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
There’s construction going on all the time in Japan. In large part that’s due to infrastructure spending traditionally being a primary source of economic stimulus by the government. Generally they’re very fast about it at least; road work is often done overnight, and new buildings pop up seemingly out of nowhere (at least in Tokyo).
The little cut-out worker dude you see in the foreground there is a real thing that gets used sometimes; often it’s shown bowing and apologizing for the trouble the construction is causing for traffic and such.
Tumblr media
Raise your hand if you thought this meant Kobayashi was asking Tohru to hide her horns.
Well, sort of. She actually is using an idiom that means “to make things worse” (角を立てる kado wo tateru). It comes from another phrase, to make (raise the) corners in one’s eyes (目に角を立てる me ni kado wo tateru), which means glaring angrily. Basically the idea is that if you’re “rising corners” (in people’s eyes) you’re making them angry, i.e. making things worse.
Part of the joke though, is that the kanji for “corner” (角 kado) is also the kanji for “horn” (角 tsuno or sometimes kaku).
I'm not sure if the translator was just working off a script and so didn't realize she was saying kado, didn't know the idiom, or was just doing their best to make the line make sense while preserving the horn pun without a paragraph-long TL note.
Tumblr media
The way she says “bothering” (気になる ki ni naru) here is less rude/direct sounding than in English, and could just as well be read as indicating curiosity or worry as annoyance.
Tumblr media
The brown bits are (probably) fried tofu.
Nanohana (菜の花) gets translated as rapeseed a lot, but really it refers to a variety of plants: flowering, edible members of the brassica genus (broccoli, cauliflower, kale, diakon, cabbage, etc.). The one most commonly referred to as “nanohana” is indeed rapeseed, but the kind you eat (i.e. buy at a grocery store in Japan) is a differently cultivated version from the kind you look at as a pretty flower, and more closely resembles tenderstem broccoli.
Nanohana is also...another spring “season word”!
Tumblr media
“The one who calls people stupid is the real stupid one” (馬鹿と言う方が馬鹿 baka to iu hou ga baka) is a common saying in Japanese, this is supposed to be a humorous twist on that.
Tumblr media
It’s Donut!
Tumblr media
The word for “dropping rank” here is 無礼講 (bureikou). Japanese workplaces are very hierarchical, there’s certain language you have to use with your boss and senpai, it’s very stiff and ritualized in a lot of ways. That can cause problems, especially in the past when it was even stricter, as it highly limits the things you can talk to your superiors about.
The “solution” to this is having a (drinking) party where everyone agrees to drop the act and just have fun/speak your mind. They’re considered important team-building exercises, in a way. However, of course you still can’t take things too far and there are various other social rules involved, so these events have their own difficulties as well.
Kobayashi in particular doesn't seem to like dealing with people, and prefers to hide behind social formalities, as we see later in the episode.
The other phrase here 選べない酒 (erabenai sake; alcohol you can’t choose), I believe is referring to how you can’t turn down drinks when offered at these things. If your boss or senpai is like, “hey, have a drink!” you’re not supposed to refuse—one of the “wait but I thought we dropped the rules” rules.
They actually had to make it a law that you can’t force your subordinates to drink it was such a problem (people getting sick/dying from alcohol poisoning etc.), though I’m not sure how effective it has been.
Tumblr media
The phrase she uses here (不安しかないな fuan shika nai na) has more a nuance of “I have a terrible feeling about this,” and I feel the “I'm only worried” translation maybe sort of implies “It’s fine I'm just worried about it is all” instead.
I like the symbolism of Kanna's band snapping as she says it too.
Tumblr media
“Goth-loli” is a fashion style, short for gothic lolita, and is not necessarily related to other usages of that word.
Tumblr media
Here’s her hiding behind those social formalities. Basically she’s taking the standard formalized template of “how to politely greet someone for the first time (in a work environment)” and just acting it out, rather than actually interacting on a personal level.
The phrase used, 社交辞令 (shakou jirei) refers to these sorts of formalized, “for politeness’s sake” types of things; typically greetings or compliments. It’s kind of like “How are you?” in English, where we ask but don’t actually want or expect a full answer about how they are actually doing or feeling right now—just on a larger scale.
Tumblr media
Both Fafnir and Quetzalcoatl have a bunch of references to their mythological counterparts, but you can look that up on Wikipedia just as easily as I can.
Tumblr media
“Pai” is used in various words for breasts, so the pi symbol π is used sometimes to refer to them as well. The other word in the background there is 怪しからん (keshikaran), which basically means outrageous/inexcusable. It’s kind of old fashioned, except it’s been turned into a meme where people will use it ironically to describe something erotic and then ask for more. Like, “What are they doing, this is outrageous! No no, don’t stop them.”
Tumblr media
The word used here is 痴女 (chijo). It actually means “female pervert,” not necessarily slutty. By “pervert,” it’s meant in like the train molester or flasher kind of way. You may have heard the word used for the train molesters before: chikan (痴漢). Chijo is the female equivalent, literally just replacing the (old fashioned) "man" kanji with the one for woman.
Basically she’s saying “that’s indecent exposure.”
Tumblr media
She actually says “early elderly” (初老 shorou), not middle-aged (中年 chuunen). Chuunen is usually from about 40, while shorou is like 60ish. The image is like, white hair, moustache, old-but-still-in-good-shape. Basically Alfred from Batman.
Technically one of the dictionary definitions of shorou is “40,” which would be middle-aged, but that’s not what someone means when they use it in conversation.
Tumblr media
In case anyone missed it, she’s just observing that they lean into the turns and such, as some people will tend to do when playing racing games and such.
Tumblr media
The title of the ED is “Ishukan Communication” (in katakana). 一週間 (isshuukan) means “one week”/”one week’s time,” and you can see all the days of the week references and such. However, ishu (異種) means different species and kan (間) can be used as a suffix similar to the prefix “inter” in English, so it also means “interspecies communication.”
Also: chorogons.
Tumblr media
Japanese days of the week are:
月曜日, moon day, named after the moon (月) 火曜日, fire day, named after Mars (火星, fire planet) 水曜日, water day, named after Mercury (水星, water planet) 木曜日, wood day, named after Jupiter (木製, wood planet) 金曜日, gold day, named after Venus (金星, gold planet) 土曜日, groud/soil day, named after Saturn (土星, ground/soil planet) 日曜日, Sunday(!), named after the sun (日)
59 notes · View notes
Text
Survey #67
“i wanna grow up, i wanna be, a big rockin’ roll star!”
did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class?  i always listened, yeah, but it scared me a lot because my anxiety around that time was mostly health-focused. i was afraid i was going to get everything somehow lmao. what are your feelings regarding shopping?  i like shopping for myself, but not for vitals. like grocery shopping, nah man. shopping for stuff like clothes, bueno. do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i'm not certain about many things, but i am certain about that. have you ever worn fishnets? no, but dey sexy. do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? occasionally i'll go to get them done, and the woman who does them is actually my hairdresser. do you believe prayer really works? boy, isn't this relevant to some things going on... the answer is, i don't know, but i'm leaning towards "only if god for whatever fucking reason deems you more worthy than someone else who's prayed for something for a fucking year but i don't want her to have that." the people whose prayers come true just seem so fucking cherry-picked. do you have one best friend who is always there for you? apparently not. only when she agrees my issues are "valid." describe one of your most emotional farewells. well, the one that affected me the most was certainly when jason left, but it wasn't the most emotional in that moment of all my farewells. the one i would define as most emotional was when my lizard shadow died. he was old (i had him most of my life) and wasn't moving much, but i finally realized he was dying. it was so. fucking. slow. and he was obviously in agony the last day (yes, this shit lasted days), as he kept writhing and opening his mouth to gulp in air... oh my god, i don't even like talking about it. i sobbed and sobbed and talked to him so much, and any time i sat by his cage, he always looked at me. he was such a sweet little boy. have you ever been tied up? no. i really don't know how i'd feel about that. how many times have you been cussed out? online, PLENTY. irl, i only remember one occasion. does it bother you when people ask personal questions? who's asking? do you know anyon​e who’​​​​s been in jail? i do. have you ever considered acupuncture? noooo. have you ever watched the same sex undress? she undressed in front of me, but i didn't watch her. have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? i've seen him tear up, but never totally cry. have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? my dad's a recovering alcoholic, so i saw him drunk a lot. i'm pretty sure i've seen mom drunk once, but she denies being drunk. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but i mean, i'd play something like mario kart for family fun. do you think that necessities should be free? (ex. food, toilet paper) hm. debatable. does it bother you when dogs lick you? no, unless they're licking my face. do you feed your pets human food? occasionally. which is worse: being sexist or racist? oh jeez. do you think suicide is selfish? i mean, yeah, it is, but if this makes sense, it's not a damnable kind of selfish? like you truly are thinking about yourself and not how it would affect others, but sometimes, y'know, you need to think about yourself. i'm not saying suicide is ever necessary, but i understand why it happens. would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? heh, probably. what are the most embarrassing songs in your itunes library? lmao i think i have one taylor swift song. OMG I DO IT'S "PICTURE TO BURN" KILL ME. how picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? VERYVERYVERY. i have to be sincerely interested in you. do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? i'm sure you've heard this enough in my surveys, but never had sex, done sexual things. but i mean sure, doing things in places other than the bed was usually more fun, but i ALWAYS felt way, WAY more vulnerable and paranoid. in your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? of course it is. people change/learn. what's the first animal you go to see at the zoo? it would be a meerkat if my zoo still had them, buuut... what's the strangest or rarest creature you've seen at a zoo? a white (not albino) alligator! o: what animal is at a zoo that really, in your opinion, shouldn't be? oh, i'm sure there's many if i was more knowledgeable about this subject. do you like zoos or aren't you bothered? i have mixed emotions. i offer you a cigarette, you say... "no thanks." why do you think you were put on this earth? i go back and forth between god planned me very intricately and uniquely to my parents just decided they wanted a kid. is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? NO. YOU DO NOT. TEACH YOUR CHILD. THROUGH FEAR. do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation also? oh boy, this question. no. it doesn't. pretty sure we didn't have video games since humanity began, and we've had violence since the start. are you in any shape or form, racist? no, i'm not. are you in any shape or form, sexist? no, i'm not. how do you think the world will end? the world itself, or humanity? humanity will end whenever god feels like it. the earth itself, well, i guess if it explodes somehow. what natural phenomenon do you find the most beautiful? WHAAAAAAT, I HAVE TO PICK ONE?! would you kill someone who killed a child? how about YOUR child? i know without a doubt you killed a child, mine especially, i kill you. what is your favorite cover of a song? "hurt" by johnny cash. bar none. have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? holy fuck, thank god no. have you ever received or given a make-over? ... oh god... yeah... i gave jason a make-over lmfao and got him to pose for a picture after like 30 minutes of pestering him. i'd show the picture, but i have too much respect for him ha ha ha. do you know anyone who is HIV+? not to my knowledge. have you ever been to a desert? nope. do you know any trans* people? not irl what is your favorite beatles song? "hey jude." i'm honestly not a big beatles fan whatsoever. what is the poorest you have ever been? probably now, really... i'm sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who's your favorite? markiplier! is there something written on your shirt right now? "we're all mad here" what is your favorite song to play on guitar hero or rock band? "king nothing" by metallica!! \m/ where do you find the surveys you take? as of right now, i've been getting my surveys from a lad over at livejournal who has a good 2k surveys stockpiled up. i'll occasionally pick some up from tumblr, too. if i'm truly desperate, i'll just google search and find random webpages. what's one weird/annoying thing your pet(s) tend to do? OMGGGGGG YAAAAAAA'LLLLLL. okay so my dog teddy has this super weird habit of, totally out of the blue, trying to climb onto me and lie directly over my face. like i have to physically hold him back to stop him, and he still fights against me to try and get on me. i haven't the slightest idea why he does it, but it's super annoying... i always have to bring him to his room so he'll stop and calm down. what's your favorite song by your favorite artist?  YOU SHOULD NOOOOT BE ASKING ME THIS QUESTION OH GOD. i have a very, very difficult time picking favorite songs. i'll go through my fave artists regardless though and try... ozzy osbourne: probably "trapdoor." metallica: oh god. uhhh. "king nothing," i assume. otep: eeeeek!! i really, really love "special pets" and "apex predator" like the same!! marilyn manson: yikes. errr. "heart-shaped glasses," maybe. WAIT. "angel with the scabbed wings," perhaps. cradle of filth: i guess their cover of "mr. crowley." rammstein: "donaukinder," pretty easily this time. a day to remember: "i'm made of wax, larry, what're you made of?" fuckin' rocks!! do you have an "original character?" well, as a forum role-player since i think 2007, i think last time i counted, i have over 200, lmao. and yes, i'm attached to them all too much to kill off half of them. fuck my life rip rip rip. what about a persona/fursona?  ye, ozzkat. do you ever MAKE your own surveys?  not an entire survey, no, but once in a blue moon i'll think of a question i think's really good and add it onto a survey. why's it the woman who have to give birth anyway if the man is physically stronger in most cases?  i mean, besides the obvious, are you asking why it was ever made this way to begin with? *shrugs* who really knows? do you get good internet there? nnnnnope. it goes out pretty frequently. ever had a cavity? how many? i sure have, but idk how many. ever broken a tooth?  indeed. when i passed out as i was scrambling out of the shower because i felt dizzy, i landed dead on my chin. a good number of my molars shattered. the feeling of all those broken fragments in my mouth when i woke up... ewwwww. ;D; for a while, they went untreated as they were not causing much issue. eventually though, they needed to be filled, i think because the microscopic cracks that were formed were expanding. it could've ruined those teeth. what did you do on the playground at your school as a child?  for a long, long time, i mainly swung if there were any swings open. it was the one thing i actually enjoyed doing outside. in my older elementary school years, i actually started a trend, ha ha: digging tunnels with our hands in the sand pit. idk why exactly i liked doing it, but i did. my friends and i would always be the weirdos digging the entire time we were outside. i remember once we made a pretty intricate system. are you into comics? no, i don't read them, but i still sometimes enjoy who the subject is. ex. i like batman, but i've never read his comics once. would you ever like to work on a farm? i would not. i don't like outdoor labor, honestly. did you ever have computer disc games you played as a kid? sure did! we had "putt-putt," "freddy the fish," "i spy spooky mansion," "odell down under," "oregon trail," i personally had vet-oriented games, and i remember there was one about going up the amazon river, and it was the third in the series. that one was my all-time favorite. OH OH OH! and i had this wicked cool dinosaur game that taught you about various dinosaurs and looked sooo realistic!! what do you think of people who have therapists? i think they're brave as fuck to admit they have a problem and need help??? like what else would i think??? do you have any of those adult coloring books? i do. i don't use 'em a lot, though. don't enjoy coloring like i used to. ever ridden an elephant?  no, but that'd be REALLY cool. deserts: dreary or beautiful?  beautiful!!! ever seen a panda?  i don't believe i have, even in a zoo. what kind a camera do you have?  nikon d3200 do you have stretch marks? where? don't be shy, they're tiger stripes! i'm much convinced they're not tiger stripes. all they tell you is i'm overweight, not that i'm a warrior. and honestly, the better question is where don't i have stretch marks. i gained weight way too fucking fast when jason left, so... they're kinda all over the place. they're fucking gross and i've tried so hard to get rid of them using bio oil (which was working, but we don't have the money to keep buying) and another cream that doesn't do much. ugh. lobsters: cool or scary?  both. they're honestly pretty creepy, but i do believe they're still quite cool, too. opposoms: total vermin or cute? CUTE AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK what tv channel dominated your childhood?  ha ha animal planet!!! if nicole was picking what to watch it'd be disney channel, but me, animal planet. (: it's such a shame how much animal planet has changed, though... now it's all about people and how to survive a fucking animal attack... ever actually seen a snake in the wild?  here in the rural south, plenty of times. i have two noteworthy occasions, though. once, when i was being dropped off at home from school by a family friend, we stopped short because of something in the driveway. my sisters and i got out of the car to see a rattlesnake- a HUGE one- curled up, head raised, hissing, and rattling its tail vigorously. we called for our mom and dad, who came outside and immediately called somebody; i don't recall who, but they were not going to harm the snake. they came quickly and, with a shovel i think, moved the snake to the large tobacco field right across the road of our house. the snake was quite compliant, i was surprised. second, also many years ago, i was taking a walk and found a pretty small snake in the middle of the road, which is just a gravel path. it didn't want to move, but it seemed perfectly alive and healthy. i couldn't identify the species, but i don't think it was venomous. regardless though, i refused to be stupid and touch it, but i still stayed by it and directly a car once around the snake because i didn't want it run over. my friend came over, however (they were whom i got around the snake), so i abandoned the serpent and went home to play. after she left, i went to check on the snake, and he'd been run over. :( i was sincerely sad. have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? i've had two! my first ever was a ball python named mona lisa, and wow... i never knew it was POSSIBLE to love a snake so dearly. i mean, "it's just a snake," right? no, she was family. she was going to play a big part in my senior project actually, but she sadly died due to the pet store's own negligence (there was a tick on her when we adopted her, and it apparently made her ill). after mona, i adopted another snake quite a while later; it was too young to distinguish gender, so i gave it a neutral name: cato. it too was a ball python, and we had little cato for a very short period of time... it never deficated, and when it passed and its tailbase swole up, we took its corpse right to petsmart because i had a feeling they were to blame. again. apparently, we'd adopted a sick snake: something was wrong with its bowels, no doubt, and the employee assumed it had to do with bacteria. i absolutely refuse to ever adopt a reptile from petsmart or petco ever again; they just don't treat their reptiles and rodents (i've got a gooood story about rats...) like family in my frank opinion. i've located a ball python morph breeder instead, and i plan on adopting from him very, very soon. (: ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they're scary!  ha ha ha omg guys my older sister ashley once fished up a HUGE snapping turtle!! it was liiivid! i can't remember how my dad did it, but he got it off suuuuuper-duper carefully. wait, or maybe he just cut the line, i don't remember. do you like oatmeal? eh, i have to be in the mood, and it needs JUST the right amount of milk or it's too liquidy. i also only eat it with milk, not water. wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? i have once in the wild! :D i live in north america, so it was the bald eagle. it was SO BIG. ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? did you ever pick up the crickets? i sure have: a chinese water dragon lizard named shadow. for a very long time, i couldn't touch the crickets, no. eventually though, i would pick 'em up and drop them into the cage. later in shadow's life though, it was much easier (and convenient for him) to just dump the whole bag of them into his terrarium. it was so cute how he'd get so excited every single time he saw a cricket! i miss him. :( ever play hearthstone?  i have, but only to get the "i won three games" mount in world of warcraft, lmao. it's an okay game, but i don't love it. i'm not the best with tactic games like that. ever gone hunting? biggest thing you've ever shot?  i do not go hunting, no, i can't stand the idea of killing an animal for sport. my little sister does sometimes, though. i don't think she's been in a few years, however. coolest place you've ever been hunting? n/a. how about fishing? biggest thing you've ever caught?  heeeeeell yeah, man! been fishing since i was a little girl! :D i never keep anything i catch though: i kiss my hand, touch the fish's head with it, and gently place it back into the water from whence it came. i caught my biggest many summers ago while catfishing one night... i hooked a blue catfish in the eye. whoooops. o.o; i ended up catching it, and it was huuuuge! wish i had the picture dad took to show you guys. with its size, dad said i could certainly keep the fish to cook up for dinner, but i said no, to let him go. watching dad take the hook out though was horrid; the fish ended up losing its eye. :( so i called him "'ole one-eye," hehe. 'ole one-eye was just fine when he got back in the water, thank goodness. i almost caught something i KNOW was even bigger once, though. same fishing spot, catfishing again. fought with it for a while, and holy SHIT i wish i'd seen how big it was. ended up breaking my line pretty quickly. i wanna go catfishing again. :( coolest place you've ever been fishing?  i've never been fishing outside north carolina, and not far from home, either, so i haven't really been anywhere necessarily "cool." there's two places i consider quite interesting, though. the catfishing spot, for one, is at a dam. i don't know what about it, it's just real cool there. the second spot, though, is much more wild. it's in the middle of shitfucknowhere and you have to brave through some pretty thick woods to get to the river. It's also connected to a dam, but you can't see it from where you fish. it's a great place to fish for striper. boy, is it pretty there, too... wish i had pictures. i love how untouched it is. i watched a mink, i think it was, dive into the water once. this fishing talk is making me so nostalgic! which is cooler: african or asian elephant? i wouldn't say one's "cooler" than the other, but i find an african elephant to be more proportional with the size of its ears. the asian elephant's ears look too small. craziest thing you've ever eaten?  i honestly don't think i've ever eaten anything considered strange. i'm VERY picky and don't really risk much with food. i mean i guess the "weirdest" thing was i took the smallest, smallest bite out of deer jerky once. what's in a camel's back? fat. it's not water, if that's what you wanted me to say. do you believe in any cryptids?  i think i do, yes. there's just been too, too many sightings, and i don't believe that many people are liars. i think i believe in sasquatch, chupacabra (not the "omg it drinks blood" bullshit, but the coyote/??? mixed creature), the dover demon, mothman, hellhounds/the many ghostly hounds people have seen in the world, olitiau if i spelled that correctly, i'm iffy with the jersey devil, and i'm sure i'm forgetting some i think are plausible... i am VERY interested in learning about any cryptid. i mean c'mon, a good portion of our world is entirely undocumented! who knows what's out there! "lost tapes" was my shit back in the day, until like the last season where everything looked too fake. steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? steve irwin was anything but a fool. he was an inspiration for all us people who love and are fascinated by animals. he was my teacher, despite never meeting him. he put his safety aside to teach the world about creatures big and small so we could respect and honor them. god bless that man, and may he rest in peace. you were and still are my hero. what do you think of people who put their whole life on social media? some things need to be kept quite, sure. like i'm not gonna go on facebook and proclaim, "i just had sex boiz!!" or "just took a shit, ya'll!" some things, keep a mystery. your whole life isn't everyone else's business, you know? if you post a lot, i have no issue with that, just know your boundaries. don't you think it's a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra?  no??? is wearing certain pants to make ya dick look bigger deceptive, too??? perhaps some people are more comfortable with the cushioning. or maybe they could only find their size as push-up. or, just maybe, a woman likes to feel better about herself. do you truly believe we came from chimps? why? no, i don't. and i have a plethora of reasons, but the underlying belief of mine is that it's just implausible and i don't believe our body can "pick" the "right" trait to pass on to increase odds of survival. to believe we all came from one organism just seems... very unlikely. well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them?  if you're talking about the appendix, it actually does have a use. it's vital to survival in the fetal stage. I don't remember what it does, though... extra bones, i can't entirely tell you with certainty. my own sister had an extra bone in her hand, gross stuff... i like to think of them as god fooling around in the sims creation page *wink* if you could choose anyone to be your mother, who would it be? i honestly don't think in any case i'd want another mom. if you could choose anyone to be your father, who would it be?  ... i honestly want to say james hetfield, but i think incest might be a problem because fuckshittits i'd fuck him and he's in his 50s kill me pls end this madness. weirdest video game you've ever played? hmmm. i personally don't think i've ever played a "weird" game. the first "silent hill" is pretty damn whacky, but far more in a scary sense than weird. it just really throws everything you've ever thought about the world into chaos. we're having a pig-pickin'! whatcha eating?  oh god... i hate those... please no... D: ever been on a scary hay ride? i have indeed, at the old church-oriented cheerleading and basketball place ever been to a castle?  i have n- wait! i've been in cinderella's castle in disney world! :D what's your favorite kind of penguin? i think they're called emperor penguins. they look very majestic but silly simultaneously! whales. should they be allowed in sea world?  i don't think so, honestly. if so, they'd need a WAY bigger aquarium than i remember seeing them in... ever seen an albino? whether it be human or animal?  pretty sure i've seen albino mice, but that's it, i think. what do you think of the song "miss jackson" by panic! at the disco? good song very good a++ what is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? i'm pretty sure her lock screen is she and her husband, and her home screen is a bible quote. do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? nope, no one. do you like using big words when you talk? if i believe this word to be more descriptive/accurate when explaining something, sure? do you EVER use caps lock? yes, i do, for emphasis. i'm extremely passionate and talk exactly how i type, so there's gotta be emphasis!! are you loud when you’re having sex? i wouldn't know, but i was always quiet doing sexual things because i was sooo nervous about being loud, even if no one was around. have you ever wanted to drop out of school? definitely. i was suicidal in high school partially because of school, and i really considered it in order to potentially save myself (i ended up having to drop all but one class when the issue was brought to my principal). i did drop out of college. when was the last time you watched south park? well over a year ago. i watched it with jason occasionally, he enjoyed it. are you italian? i am not. are you interested in photography at all? well, i'm hoping to be a photographer, so. any survey takers that annoy you on tumblr? not at all. there are some whose answers i disagree with very much, but honestly, every survey taker i've seen seem pretty cool. do you like bob marley? OH MY GOOOOOD NO I HATE HIS VOICE can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? i don't think so, honestly. are you interested in art? very much so. don't you think we're spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? lmao who made this, donald trump??? no. climate change is important as fuck and if we keep this shit up, could very well end or nearly decimate humanity. everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what's your SECOND favorite? probably rhesus macaques. very mischievous and social. who’s your favorite disney character? probably mulan, but i have no real preference. have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz? YES AND I HAD ZERO MATCHES GG do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? not anymore, no. how much was your prom dress? what’s the most you’d spend? i'm not sure how much either of them costs... and i really don't know how much i'd pay, but not too much, i mean, it's just prom. would you marry someone of a different religion?  depends on the religion, really. like some religions have beliefs i would never respect, such as some religions believe the woman is far lesser than the man. i wouldn't marry someone with those beliefs. how did you learn the word “fuck”? school, i'm sure. if you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be? why would i want to be friends with my enemy, as anyone who i consider my enemy is obviously so for a reason? what is the last movie you saw in theaters? trolls. soooo cute. (: have you ever got into a wreck?  i've been in an accident, not a wreck, i'd say. do you think you are an argumentative person?  no. to avoid confrontation, i usually just keep my opinion to myself to avoid this whole issue. can you admit when you’re wrong?  i'm quick to admit that honestly. i doubt myself. are you easily confused?  VERY VERY VERY do you think you would make a good wife/husband?  i hope... have you ever caught a butterfly?  omg i forgot this story... a few days after jason left (it may have even been the next day, i don't recall), i found a yellow-and-black, crippled butterfly. i tried so hard to nurse it back to health, but it was useless, it was going to and did die. i buried it in my back yard among crysanthemums (i probably murdered spelling that). honestly, part of me getting my semicolon butterfly tattoo relates to that butterfly. have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? no, that sounds... really wrong. do you like being kissed on the neck? if you want your clothes ripped off, sure. favorite song by the band the offspring? uh-oh, i'm not sure! i reeeaaally love "why don't you get a job" and "pretty fly for a white guy" about the same. how many times each morning do you press the snooze button? i never use an alarm, so. when you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? fries because i'm a fat american what video game or computer game are you best at? am i best at? idk, really. how do you normally come across new music? youtube's recommendations what subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? it depends on what you want to do in your future, really. they all have purpose, just not for everyone. do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? i wouldn't say i "enjoy" them, but i'll usually get excited a bit for like a minute just because something different is going on. are you pretty politically correct? yes and no. have you ever behaved like a stalker?   ... i think so, honestly. do you appreciate other people’s opinions?   appreciate, yes.  it's part of what makes us unique. if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be?   *shrugs* do you care what’s going on in the world?   i'm one of the idiots that lives on it, duh i do. how many partners is too many?   having any more than one do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose?   yeah, ensure there's no blood or anything. do you prefer boys to shave down there?   no preference.  whatever they're comfortable with. how much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)?   all she knows is i almost had sex once but didn't.  i talked to her about it because i felt VERY guilty. are any of your siblings married? what are their spouse’s names?   only ashley is married, and her husband's name is nick. have you ever had a pet bird?   no, i wish. how many times have you moved in your lifetime?   i've moved twice. if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them?   piercing, labret.  one tattoo... ohhhh man... i think it'd still probably be what i'm starting next: the painting "denialism" by da's tatchit on my right upper arm.  it doesn't have a personal meaning to me, honestly, i just think it's fucking awesome. would you consider yourself to be adventurous?   depends, really.  what're the risks of what i'm doing? has any part of your house ever been flooded?   no, only our yard. is there anyone that you're worried about right now? who and why?   well, jason is the obvious.  i always worry about him, whether or not he's happy and moreso if he's being loved enough... because i can guaranfuckingtee ashley will never love him like i do. if you won a lot of money, would you donate any of it? to what organization would you donate it?   i'm sure i would, but idk where. describe the best friend you've ever had, or the best person you've ever known.   jason, quite easily.  he was both my boyfriend and best friend.  he just kinda... changed one day. have you ever adopted a stray animal?   MANY cats, yes. if you were seriously ill and couldn't find the necessary help or treatment in your home country, would you ever travel abroad to get treatment, expenses aside?   who wouldn't, honestly? what time did you wake up this morning?   i'm woke 24/7, motherfucker. ever wonder if you’re someone’s everything?   i have.  apparently, i wasn't. would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde?   i actually kinda want to, but it's another hair color mom won't allow.  my hair is like supremely healthy and she doesn't want me to ruin it. what is your mom’s middle name?   marie do you know the color of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes?   yes, a very mellow dark brown. have you had your wisdom teeth out?   no, but it looks to be inevitable soon. your appendix?   nope, i still have it.
1 note · View note
s3venpounds · 5 years
Note
1-98
thank you my dewd for giving me something to do! ngl was going kinda insane and i’ll take anything over doing chores tbh also sorry if this is hella late
weird asks that say a lot
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
coffee mugs usually because they hold more liquid and i use them for everything lol tea, coffee, alcohol, soda
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
lollipops, i like having something in my mouth for long amounts of time(and yes pun intended)
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
cotton candy oh my god. I have such a sweet tooth its ridiculous. I once bought 7 large bags of cotton candy from K days and ate them for the next 2 months even when they got hard and probably nasty lmao i just love that shit. even cotton candy flavoured stuff ( except vodka. thats a trap. )
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
shy, reserved, well behaved basically i was a wimpy little shit
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
I like them in glass cups so i can clean it afterwards and use it again later, waste makes me feel guilty
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
if its applied to me? pastel. I love brighter colors after i stopped wearing blacks greys and whites. they feel so good and look so nice. on someone im interested in? sportswear, formal, grunge, goth, pastel, tomboy. in no particular order. if its sportswear stuff that really highlights muscles and how toned they are just MMMMMMMM. formal is fuckkkkkkking attractive. like if the white collar shirt is unbuttoned halfway and the blazer is rolled up? or no blazer but with suspenders and the sleeves rolled up? OMG i will literally lick their collarbones idgaf
7. earbuds or headphones?
headphones, mostly because its just healthier for your ears, as much as i like earphones and use them more often i just prefer headphones cuz people usually dont bother me, i do dislike the hat hair though and how bulky they are
8. movies or tv shows?
im kind of a weeb so i much prefer tv shows with regular releases so im not waiting 6 years or something for avengers lol i need my fixxxxxxxxxxx
9. favorite smell in the summer?
after rain smell or during rain smell idk. carnival food? the ocean? just water scents i guess
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
dance or volleyball both of which im still doing to this day very happily c:
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
cereal, maybe some nutella, whatevers left over if someone cooked the night prior or just basic bacon eggs and rice. fried rice if im feeling lucky
12. name of your favorite playlist?
Emotions empty. YEET
13. lanyard or key ring?
lanyard. I’ve had the same spidergwen/ghost spider lanyard since like 2015 and i refuse to use another lol. it feels so cool to yank on the lanyard and swing it around
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
rock candy. hands down. that shit makes me nutty. like if i was an earth bender or some shit i’d make a giant club made of the stuff and smack people with it and lick it afterwards
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
the outsiders probably i mean its not like crazy favourite but like its the one i enjoyed the most out of the ones i was forced to read (i really hate being forced to do shit)
16. most comfortable position to sit in? criss cross as im doing right now lmao or sitting on one of my legs
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? ah shit I just threw them out cuz they were old af but i had these nike high tops with the little puffy thing that inflates the sides of the shoes to make it more comfortable and it was so good in the winter and summer. it like breathed enough to let my feet stay nice and cool but it also stayed warm and never let snow get in my shoes cuz they were so high they acted like boots. i wore those for like my entire highschool experience
18. ideal weather?
raining. or breezy day. wind makes me sleepy and rain makes me excited to jump around in puddles and run as if my lifes calling is pulling me towards it
19. sleeping position? 
I always sleep on my stomach. its my most comfortable position and i knock out so easily if i do. apparently its a family thing too lol my siblings all outgrew it but w.e
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? 
on a laptop or in my journal. the tapping of laptop keys makes me feel productive while writing in my journal makes me feel like itll be saved for the rest of my life
21. obsession from childhood?
psychology and the inner workings of the mind. why something thinks lowly of themselves, why someone thinks highly of themselves, how they came to this decision, why they thought to refuse this and that its really interesting to me to see peoples reasoning
22. role model?
not even a physical person but ALL MIGHT from my hero academia or boku no hero academia. yknow that phrase ? “ what would jesus do?” yeah its “what would all might do?” for me luuuuuuuuuuuuul
23. strange habits?
i dont really know any strange habits myself but im sure my friend justin knows a few
24. favorite crystal?
crystal???? uhhh i dont know much about this but i guess i would go with emerald? since its my birth stone?
25. first song you remember hearing?
a barney song. i shit you not.
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
I dont really like the heat all that much. summer is just suffering to me tbh lol like what do you do when youve taken off all ur clothes, ur AC is dead and your room is the highest room in the house where all the heat gathers? nothing. you do nothing. you cry and almost get heat stroke.
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
I loooooooooooove snowboarding im not good at it though but god damn its fun. specially with friends and learning together it makes me so happy seeing people grow c:
28. five songs to describe you?
fix you cold play(currently listening to this), im still here (treasure planet soundtrack) by john reznik, Good things fall apart Jon bellion, lost stars Adam levine, After Dark Asian Kung Fu Generation. is what i can say so far? i’ve got tons of songs i relate to those are the ones that just popped into mind
29. best way to bond with you?
be physical. touch me, graze me, be comfortable with me and hold up a conversation. As much as i like talking I LOVE hearing about the people im interacting with. hobbies, dreams, goals, nightmares everything. other than that? just spend time with me. any time is fine. i do prefer really deep conversations at like 3 am lol
30. places that you find sacred?
sacred to me? St. Clements park and not much else. a looooooooooot of shit has happened there. my first kiss, my worst break up, my best make up/make out, my best date. 
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
I got these leather boots that do a clack sound on pavement and i feel powerful as fuck. I got this really high quality black formal shirt from le chateau that breathes really well and highlights my figure. I have these black jeans with zippers above and below the kneecap that make me feel dope. so yeah full black lol. theres also this grey sweater i have that flows in the wing like a cape and i feel like a superhero when wind blows it behind me
32. top five favorite vines?
ok ok theres this one i cannot find again for the life of me but its like this asian guy sittin in a stall taking a dump and it cuts to an ice cream dispenser then some dude knocks on the door and the asian guy gasps and it cuts to the ice cream dispenser but goes backwards so the poop is like going back in and the asian guy goes like “ unnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and shudders and i like fucking collapse a lung everytime i think about it. some of king vaders anime parodies are fucking hilarious, the dude who made that vine where “ if johnny has 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ wait why does johnny have 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ mind your business david” while playing with dishsoap lmao. OH OH and that one where the kid puts random shit on his head to signify its his mom like where he goes “ I like ya accent where ya from?” “ im from liberia” “ *in a whisper* oh my bad I like ya accent where ya from” yeah this is longer than i thought i’ll stop it here i still got like 60 questions left
33. most used phrase in your phone?
“lmao” i’ve now used to as a similar term to lol. sometimes i say it in irl like “ le mao” and i internally cringe everytime
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
pizza 73, sleep country canada “why buy a mattress any where elseee” and some spotify ads cuz theyre fucking everywhere
35. average time you fall asleep?
midnight or 10 at the earliest
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
god... uhhh.. one of those rage comics those old ass black n white memes
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
duffel bag, i am NOT organized enough for a suitcase plus duffels i can carry across my chest like a backpack
38. lemonade or tea?
oof. lemonade from k days was really gooooooood. but tea is something im always comfortable with.. ill go with tea
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake defnitely. cake tastes more mellow while meringue is like a burst of flavour right away
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
a dude OD’d during school hours or that time a dude had a seisure in class
41. last person you texted?
clarence
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
jacket pockets if i wanna look badass, pants pockets if im just being a panda
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
oooof. uhh leather or bomber. leather because i love biker aesthetic too and bomber just looks comfy
44. favorite scent for soap?
i dont particularly have one but i do like old spice or irish spring
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
SUPERHERO. HANDS DOWN. fantasy second and sci fi 3rd.
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
.... naked. only on days i cannot sleep at all
47. favorite type of cheese?
uhh fuck dude uhm.. toss up between cream cheese or parmesan
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
durian. I hate durian. its spiky on the outside, smells like burnt asshole but taste is redeeming
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
inside jokes with justin. just hanging out with the dude I had the best gut wrenching laughs of my life. laughs where my jaw hurt from laughing, i lost feeling in my cheeks, my face was red and couldnt stop crying. those laughs.
51. current stresses?
job security, love life, and friends who are currently getting more and more busy and cant hang out as often
52. favorite font?
IDK? Helvetica?
53. what is the current state of your hands?
dry and typing.
54. what did you learn from your first job?
People are stupid as fuck. and coworkers are dangerous thanks alex for throwing a kitchen knife at me
55. favorite fairy tale?
idk if it counts since disney always makes fairytales but treasure planet?
56. favorite tradition? 
probably christmas because i think its super important who you choose to spend it with and who you DO spend it with is a sign of how much they mean to you
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
dads abuse, my biggest break up, my friends attempted suicide
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
yknow the devil sign you make by closing your hand in a fist except your pinky and pointer finger? i can make my pointer and pinky touch. I also have been told my volleyball spikes have been really good recently. uhh my dancing I guess? singing?
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
EVERYTHINGS FINE WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
My hero academia. hands down.
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you'll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of! And... well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. TREASURE FUCKING PLANET BOIIIIIIIIIIS
62. seven characters you relate to?
jim hawkins, hikigaya hachiman, shoya ishida, natsuki subaru, Hinata Shoyo, Hiccup, roxas.
63. five songs that would play in your club?
oh god. uhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. learn to fly foo fighters? castle on the hill ed sheeran? man idk im not huge on clubs, just shit from like 2000′s rock bands that white person knows the lyrics to and probably screamed in their room when they were mad
64. favorite website from your childhood?
YTV when they first released those side kick things thos games were so cool except that one day where the sidekick turned into a monster i legit got scared lol
65. any permanent scars?
tons actually and i love em! they remind me that things happened and that i wont ever forget them. currently tryna get a scar for volleyball HEHEHE
66. favorite flower(s)?
i dont know much about flowers but roses and lavender is nice. and that flower in philippines where if you touch it, it like curls into itself. 
67. good luck charms?
the keychains people i’ve fallen for have given to me. like this one bullet bill keychain AB gave me when we first met in highschool. i still have it. its faded and chipped in places but i feel like it makes me feel stronger yknow?
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
birthday cake vodka. hands down. and i’ve literally tasted my own puss from an infected wound on accident
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
in philippines flies are always swarming around peoples food so what i learned was to rip up the napkin to look like that thing people used to dust the house and it keeps them away if you swing it at them
70. left or right handed?
right handed c:
71. least favorite pattern?
pattern? uhh anything disorienting i guess
72. worst subject?
math. 100% math. 
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
meatball marinara sub with like every sauce from subway
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
8. i think i have a high pain tolerance
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
i dont remember.. maybe like 6?
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
MASHED POTATOES.FRJISD
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
not a big fan of plants....
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
sushi from a grocery store. just cuz im not willing to pay 30 bucks for somewhat fresh stuff from a retaurant
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school id funny enough
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
...what? i guess jewel tones?
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
FIREFLIES OWL CITYYYYYYYYY
82. pc or console?
console. i have a better understanding of how console plays vs computer. computer is too finicky for me and aiming is a lot harder. console i know how people on console move and how i move and how to aim. 
83. writing or drawing?
writing. if i knew how to draw though thatd be a different answer
84. podcasts or talk radio?
talk radio cuz i like to phone in and talk about my experiences lol i got to be on one actually it was dope
84. barbie or polly pocket?
uhhhhhh barbie?
85. fairy tales or mythology?
mythology!
86. cookies or cupcakes?
cupcakes
87. your greatest fear?
death. or atleast what happens afterwards
88. your greatest wish?
to be a hero. 
89. who would you put before everyone else?
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Z
90. luckiest mistake?
one time in gym class we were playing dodgeball and i slipped trying to run backwards and a dude threw a ball at me but i kicked it in a way it went straight up and i had enough time to catch it
91. boxes or bags?
boxes, much better leverage and storing is like a game of tetris!
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
lamps or overheads. sunlight has glare on my stuff and its hard to play and fairylights arent enough 
93. nicknames?
tin man, AG, metal man, poetry man, silverado, silver city, quick silver anything with silver really.
94. favorite season?
fall and winter. winter being the best
95. favorite app on your phone?
Epic seven
96. desktop background? its a picture of hinata shoyo from HAIKYUU!! doing a spike with wings on his back!
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
only 1. thats my own lmao
98. favorite historical era?
uhhhhhh shit idk. they all seemed pretty shitty tbh..........
0 notes
Text
VRC: Brandon
Brandon swaggered, as only a VR avatar could swagger, through the crowded bar. How stupid that VR bars were nearly impenetrable. It’s not like you could drink real alcohol in a VR bar. 
His ID twinkled above his head, RecklessABrandon. That made him swagger too. He was proud of that one. Took him three days to think of it, and then he had to totally redesign his avatar to match. His avatar, like Brandon in the flesh, was muscular, fit, and attractive. He spent as much time running at the gym as he did in his VR headset.
Unlike many, VR didn’t suck Brandon in for days at a time. He liked being outdoors in the Minneapolis sun. Climate change had made the central US weather pretty erratic, but Minnesota had lucked out. The winters were milder, and the lakes and parks helped make the summers a little more bearable. Plus he had hockey practice three nights a week most of the year. His VR time had to pack a lot of entertainment for each minute, since he had so little.
The hot chick at the bar watched him cross the dance floor and worm his way through a crowd of cheering sorority sisters who’d gotten wasted and come to the VR bar to fuck shit up. But this girl wasn’t into that shit, and Brandon nodded approvingly.
Of course, everybody in VR looked great. It was the risk you took, building relationships with these projections of people’s illusions rather than their physical beings. “Outing” avatars had become a pastime for a whole sector of Internet trolls, members of the jealous class who hacked into less-secure VR networks and stalked social media for any clues that might link an avatar to its owner. The fact that RecklessABrandon wasn’t afraid to have his name in his handle meant he was either too solid in real life to care what people knew about him, or he was part of the troll gangs who loved to out their victims.
Of course, it was easy to dump one avatar identity and pick up another, so almost no one knew Brandon led the r/outage board for “kills,” as they liked to call them. It was all meant to be base human cruelty, but sometimes the cruelty hit its mark too hard and victims took themselves out of VR permanently, usually via suicide. If you couldn’t VR, you struggled to get anywhere in life. Unless you were Amish. Some of the outed people moved to Amish country, no joke.
Trolling had gotten so bad, Congress haggled over two bills, one banning the use of anything but real names (it got shot down immediately by privacy advocates and domestic abuse victims groups) and another to apply a 5 year Internet and VR ban to anyone caught outing someone else. The second bill almost passed, but some of the Internet freedom groups drummed up enough fear that the government couldn’t be trusted to identify trolls unless it also had access to everyone’s usernames, profile information, and location data, something the Privacy Act of 2027 had banned outright thanks to Senator Snowden’s efforts to reform the US’s privacy laws.
Brandon loved Senator Snowden. In fact, he donated money to his re-election campaign every six years as a quiet token of gratitude. Privacy laws had bolstered security around everyone’s account information. As someone who understood those systems too well, RecklessABrandon felt little fear that his side hobby would get him busted.
The girl at the bar was still watching him. Hm. Was that an invitation? Might as well knock on this door while it was available. Maybe she had one of the new suits that let people experience in the flesh what they were doing in VR. Because he sure did, and VR sex was way better than the original. If you had the right person. And a little daring.
Brandon nestled himself into his VR rig, moving gracefully in real space within a full 360° harness that allowed him to act out every motion he was performing within the virtual environment. His swagger may have been exaggerated a bit in virtual reality - a man’s got to represent, after all - but anyone who really knew him in VR could pick out his gait as he strolled IRL.
“Hey. What are you doing in a dive like this?” he opened, hoping a slight nod to film noire might score him some points with this woman who radiated confidence and allure. Mmmmm. He didn’t need his mesh suit to tell his body parts what to feel. She generated everything he needed. 
She tipped up her chin in a manner of greeting. Too chill to be bothered to speak, he noted. “Want to join me in some whiskey and then some sex?” Brandon didn’t beat around. He’d learned that people in VR tended to be more upfront about their goals, since they had a level of anonymity to protect them. And he had to consider that this gorgeous model might be piloted by some dude in a half-assed piece of shit rig in a slum in Oklahoma City. You had to take risks, if you wanted to gain any glory. Besides, he loved outing the cross-gender VR avatars. Absolutely made his day. 
“Hello, Brandon.” Her voice came through his headset as an alto, smoky with an undercurrent of bourbon and danger. She stood up and slid over a seat so he could have the stool. He noticed her incredible figure, her size D breasts, her dress slit up the thigh allowing him a glimpse of black lace panties. If she wasn’t here for sex, she sure was hanging out the wrong shingle.
“You mean RecklessABrandon,” he responded with a wink. Gotta make sure the bitches are clear about his self-confidence. Plus the wise ones would heed the warning: This guy is fine with you knowing his real name. Don’t fuck him over, or he’ll destroy you IRL.
“Fine. Then I guess you’ll have to call me PollyM0th, if we’re going to be all formal about it.” She swigged the last of her bourbon and set the glass aside. “I’ve got a room booked upstairs, and I’ve been itching to try it out. Are you wearing a suit?”
“Yeah. Top of the line Nike 2689, just came out a month ago. If you so much as brush a fingertip across my arm, I’d feel it.”
“Excellent. Let’s see how much it can take.”
***** One benefit of virtual sex was the avoidance of pounding and shouting in the flesh, which always had the risk of generating threats from the people next door or below. Brandon followed PollyM0th up the stairs to a room at the end of the 3rd virtual floor. VR had spawned an entire industry of virtual real estate, where brokers bought and sold virtual apartments and houses for real money. It made little sense to the aging Millennials but nobody gave a shit about them anyway. Whoever hadn’t made the jump to VR got left behind, as far as most VR residents were concerned.  If you were the type to spend most of your time online, what did it matter how shitty your apartment was in real life?
This woman clearly loved her space. The oak door opened at a touch - virtual fingerprint lock technology, he noted. It wasn’t enough that the door probably recognized her ID; this was an additional security measure meant to ensure no one could hack their way into her VR space. Wise move.
The interior, as was common in VR apartments, vastly overflowed the physical “exterior” of the apartment. In virtual space, rules of geometry were irrelevant. Renters could pay for as much interior storage as they wanted. PollyM0th clearly paid for a lot.
She grabbed him by the tie (Brandon always dressed up to go clubbing; only slobs didn’t) and pulled him toward her for a kiss that was shockingly passionate. His Nike suit did not disappoint him; these models included a comfortable lightweight face mesh that enabled the wearer to experience exactly something like this, a kiss. He mentally praised his foresight in refusing to skimp on quality where it mattered.
A small file chimed in his vision. His hands were occupied though with this vixen chewing on his lip while she groped for his trousers. He put his hands to better use, feeling around her shoulders to unzip the back of her dress. It fell away revealing her naked torso. God, she was beautiful.  He didn’t even care that she was probably a 250 pound middle-aged woman from some godforsaken corn town in Iowa. He’d hack her tomorrow to find out for sure; right now he wanted the sex.
PollyM0th maneuvered them both toward a spacious bedroom appointed with a variety of chains, hooks, and posts. Ah. A BDSM junkie. Of course. He’d been a little lax lately in checking out the women he banged in VR; and as a general rule, he avoided the kinky ones unless he had some reason to believe they were good at it. Hopefully, this one would let him handcuff her, bang her, and then leave her till the cuffs expired in an hour or two. Virtual BDSM was actually pretty dull even with a good flesh suit.
As if she’d read his thoughts, PollyM0th stopped kissing and groping and looked him over. “You probably think this is dumb, don’t you, my lair of sexual fantasy and bondage. Most men do.  They just want to handcuff me to the bed, and walk out once they’re done. I hope you’re not so dull.”
He eyed her, letting his eyes wander over her gorgeous form. “For you, madam, I would do anything tonight.”
“Anything?”
“Absolutely. Do your worst. I can’t wait.” He pulled off his tie and threw it on a chair. Arms spread wide, Brandon dared her to make it worth it.
Oh, she did. Brandon lost track of time as they tumbled, groped, banged, sucked, whipped, tied, and teased their way through a pair of orgasms each. She showed little signs of slowing down, though he was getting pretty tired. His Nike suit transmitted every experience perfectly, though now he understood why the salesman had emphasized repeatedly that his suit was machine washable.
PollyM0th eyed Brandon up and down, his naked avatar reclining lazily on the bed. “I bet you’ve never actually done anything really interesting in VR,” she challenged, narrowing her eyes at his virtual penis with a questioning look.
“What? God, woman, you don’t even know me. I’ve done everything with this penis, both in the flesh and in pixels.” Brandon found himself genuinely offended.
“Are you willing to put that Nike 2689 through its paces one more time? Or are you done for the night?” She got up, turning her lucious rear view toward his appreciative gaze.
“I can take anything you can dish out. Tie me up, do what you will. I’m ready.”
“Did you notice I sent you a file awhile back?”
No, he hadn’t. His hands and brain and penis had all been busy when it’d arrived, and he’d completely forgotten to see what she’d sent. He flipped the file onto his virus checker and frowned. Yellow bar. That meant the file would execute a program. “What is this? I don’t run programs from strangers.”
She turned around, holding a metal bar and a pair of handcuffs. “If you want to put me in these, you’re gonna have to open the file. Look, my dad runs a company that writes VRware for suits like yours. That’s why I have such a great suit myself. My dad programmed the software to perfectly fit my body.  And he wrote an enhancer that works with any top-line suit. You’ll feel things you’ve never experienced before, I promise.”
He flipped the file open without a pause.
***** Oh god, oh god. This is horrible. He couldn’t say it, but it was all he’d been thinking for the past ... how long had it been? He had no idea.
If anyone had walked into Brandon’s actual apartment at that moment, they would have seen him frozen motionless in his $2500 VR rig, his ankles and knees and wrists suspended in front of him, in alignment with his head. On his screen, they would have seen the whole picture: his virtual body was locked in a steel frame, ankles and knees and wrists handcuffed to a bar that ran all the way to a metal collar around his neck.
He’d discovered some things about his Nike 2689 that the salesman hadn’t mentioned, or perhaps the girl was telling the truth about her dad’s programming abilities. Either way, once she’d locked him in place with what he thought were self-timed handcuffs, his face mesh had hardened into a mouth piece that blocked his ability to speak. The material covering his eyes went opaque, blocking his vision. And the suit otherwise responded realistically to being handcuffed to a metal bar and suspended from the ceiling.
But it wasn’t the physical pain that tore at him right now, though if the bitch was to be believed, she’d kept him cuffed for two hours already. His body suggested she was telling the truth, and his full bladder was beginning to force its way into his consciousness with urgent warnings. If I piss myself, and my girlfriend finds me in here in what looks like a whorehouse covered in my own urine, she’s going to walk out and never come back.
No, it’s what she’s saying.
“Well, Brandon, I’m glad you dropped by tonight. You know, I’ve been waiting in that hell-hole of a bar every night for four weeks hoping to find you. You’re a real piece of shit, you know that? How many people have you outed? One hundred? Two hundred? Your profile on r/outed suggests it might be closer to two-fifty.”
This is when he realized she wasn’t role playing anymore.
The virtual cuffs were made only of pixels, but his Nike suit squeezed even harder around his body, stifling his breathing and holding him rigid in places that weren’t meant to be immobile at this angle. His back ached, his neck muscles burned, his tongue felt wooly since it’d been probably 4 or 5 hours since he’d had a chance to drink any water.
“Two hundred and fifty people, lives opened up and smeared all over the Internet, for your pleasure. Dick move, Brandon. Brandon Lewis. Brandon Lewis of 365 Sycamore Street, Minneapolis.”
Underneath the mesh suit, beads of sweat formed on Brandon’s face as he blanched. If she outed him....
“Oh yes, you’re fucked. The only question is whether I’m going to fuck you and crush you, or just humiliate you.  What’ll it be?  Oh, right, you can’t say anything.” She waved a finger toward a menu and Brandon felt the mesh around his mouth loosen.
He panted and tried to lick his lips. “Please, I don’t know what you want, but this is genuinely painful. Please let me go.”
“Of course it’s painful, asshole. Why do you think I did it?”
“These cuffs are going to expire soon, right? Like, I get your point, ok? You think I’m a total dick because I outed people. Yes, I did it. I’m Brandon Lewis. Con-fucking-gratulations on your google skills, bitch--” A sharp pain shot through his back as she grabbed his virtual ankles and twisted them one way while turning his wrists and the bar in the opposite direction
“Look, Brandon, here’s the situation. These aren’t timed cuffs. I have total control of your suit. Also, while you’ve been hanging there, I’ve dumped your hard drive data and located your complete activity log for the past four years. One, I can’t believe you’re still using the same crappy hardware. Guess you put all your money into your fancy experience suit. Two, I’m about to doxx you into no tomorrow on r/outed. I know your troll buddies won’t care that you’ve been outing, but the FBI watches that board daily for clues, and I’m about to make sure they find you.
“Hopefully the FBI will figure it out soon, because I have no intention of releasing a piece of shit like you back into the wild. I’ve locked your door -- thanks for installing smart locks, by the way -- and posted the code along with your address and list of outings on the r/outed board. It’s currently 5am. Assuming the FBI checks the board first thing in the morning, you can expect someone to show up and release you by noon today. I’ve also texted your girlfriend that you were with me all night having hot sex, and she’s pretty angry with you. I think I watched her storm out the door via your security cameras. So I’d say you’ll be all alone until the feds come to lock you up.”
Brandon swallowed. He was numb all over, unrelated to his uncomfortable position. He raced for ideas, hoping to hit on something he could say that might work as a bargaining chip.
He didn’t even get to take a full breath to speak before the facial mesh tightened across his mouth, mirroring the gag PollyM0th crammed into his mouth in her virtual dungeon. She smiled. “I don’t want to hear it, Brandon. Save it for your lawyer.” She waved her left hand in the farewell menu gesture, but instead of disappearing from the frame, Brandon watched as her bedroom faded from his view. He was left looking at the grey grid of a blank program in his own developer software, watching the clock in the corner blink slowly toward sunrise.
0 notes
cloudshield · 7 years
Text
2016..
2016 certainly was a tumultuous year for quite a number of people, with its ups and, most notably, its downs highlighted as 2016 comes to a close. Though it was better than 1939, 1968, 2008, 1917, it still must be stated that this past year has left at least quite a bit of uncertainty and significant worry. Admitedly, I was shaken a lot more than expected, knowing how distant (and probably somewhat aloof) I am with people in general. Particularly with the U.S. election results in mind.
Boy do I hate making posts like these. I feel like a narcissist, even though I am not one, knowing how it seems that there's little I can do to contribute or help other people these days. I mean, there's the possibility that I'm a pleasant personality to be around when the mind is utilized to it's fullest extent, so I do have some sense of self worth at the absolute least. Don't really like talking about myself anyway, it makes me feel like I'm completely self-absorbed in my opinion. Anyway, this'll begin with the positives, so that people don't wallow in misery reminiscing about 2016 just in case they decide to read this for whatever reason.
Had a... double-edged sword of a job for most of 2016, leaving me fatigued but proud of what I did accomplish successfully every week day. Or was there? Not entirely certain myself, due a but I know I did more than a mediocre job at least.
Because of this work environment and my surroundings, it became apparent that (despite what I convinced myself previously in life) there's absolutely some creative potential and ideas in my head that are worthwhile from time to time. I also really began to think even more independently (yes, I know it's strange coming from distant-ol me), specifically in a more skeptical manner. In addition, I became more resourceful (yay paychecks), confident, open-minded, and, quite noticeably, much, much, much ,MUCH more tolerant of people's behavior. You have to come up with a master plan thought up by a sadistic version of Robbie Rotten or have to fly to where I live to intentionally bother me 24/7 in order to the worst of myself, my standards for human behavior and what constitutes as a "lack of faith in humanity" moment have become shockingly, inexplicably low.
You know what? I'll just begin talking about the negatives at this point, perhaps it'll clear up my head so I can talk about more positives.
God, I really have changed quite a bit in 2016, to put it nicely. I've stopped caring and gave into apathy for a lot of things, not caring about what people think about what I do (both IRL and online). Not to an embarrassing or socially unacceptable degree, despite my shortcomings and what you may have concluded about me I do know what's socially acceptable to talk about with people IRL and what behavior is & isn't allowed in a variety of social situations. But certainly to an extent that may give off a lot of disapproving looks.
While certainly not the sole cause of this change, my workplace helped me become more self-centered, distrustful of everyone around me, gutted chunks of my capacity for compassion, convinced me that being tactless was the best way to communicate at all, introduced me the magic of apathy to almost everything in sight, ignited a strong sense of misanthropy (trust me, if I recorded every abyssmal thing said about my work buddies and I on certain politically tense days, you'd be shocked, and potentially livid, as well), tempted me with deceptive promises that alcoholism is a healthy way to cope, drove me to listen to industrial music, and other issues that I can't recall at the moment. I understand this was a run-on sentence and that, sometime in retrospect, this'll look embarrassingly dramatic. And I don't even want to talk about the head honchos, that's a whole new can of rotten beans that'll leave a sour taste in my mouth for at least 3 weeks.
Politics and celebrity news aside, outside of my workplace, things were surprisingly optimistic; even when thinking about work, it was the customers who made the whole experience bearable. Online friends were formed, the social outings I went to every now and again with IRL friends were enjoyable (even if there was a falling-out with one particular co-worker), new perspectives had been obtained, and quite a variety of other positive factors that I can't recall at the moment happened.
Was it a rough year? Without a single doubt. Was it completely void of anything good? Not in the slightest! Could there be some improvements, for oneself and for the sake of others? Of course. It would be reasonable to say that 2017 will probably be a more optimistic year in some regards, while there may be a few... tire-slashing road bumps in other ways.
0 notes