Who is Alice and What is Zloy: An Essay* on the Lore of Zlobert Experience
Aka I did not watch hours of Zloy videos and dig through his Tumblr to keep this information to myself.
*This will not be written in essay format. I have a visceral hatred toward structured writing. Thank you for your understanding.
Zloy is a dimension-jumper/worldhopper, which means he spends most of his time doing whatever he wants wherever he wants. Of course, Zloy was actually alive at one point, and he had trouble surviving in servers he wasn’t native to.
The solution? An exosuit! What exactly this damn thing is is a little unclear, but it is, presumably, pretty good at keeping the man alive, and most likely has an awful lot of robotic functions, or at least can be easily fitted with robotic functions.
So Zloy was doing his thing in some world or another when he ran into the ghost of a witch. Said witch’s ghost then proceeded to steal Zloy’s original body for reasons that are unclear to me but might have come up somewhere maybe?
(Zloy for the love of god please tag your lore consistently I’m begging you-)
Zloy, now disembodied and watching a witch run around in his former body, then proceeded to possess the nearest humanoid creature, as one does. Said creature was, of course, a zombie, which was allergic to sunlight, as most zombies are. Being possessed by the ghost of a Player didn’t exactly change that little fact.
Fortunately(?), Zloy knew how to cure zombie villagers! And, consequently, how to look after his new zombie body: golden apples and weakness potions.
Of course, those can only manage an actual zombie so much, and also his body was kinda decomposing, and part of Zloy’s brain was being exposed to the open air and the guy was just kinda miserable in general, so he made himself a helmet out of his available materials.
(Gold. He made a gold helmet. It got stuck to his head pretty much immediately. Now he’s even more miserable).
So Zloy’s wandering the land, consuming weakness potions and golden apples, a helmet glued to his head that he’s waiting to break but also really doesn’t want to have break on him, and eventually it does, in fact, break, because gold is not a very practical metal to make your helmets out of.
Unfortunately, the helmet breaking does not change the fact that it is still, in fact, very much attached to Zloy’s head. The golden apples, meanwhile, finally start doing something useful, so Zloy is now a ghost possessing a zombie with chunks of gold helmet embedded beneath his skull that conveniently work as sunscreen.
(either the apples or the helmet also turned his eyes yellow at some point)
And things are looking up! Not only has Zloy brute-forced his new body into being a fully functional Player, but his newfound zombie nature means he’s compatible with worlds by default, because zombs are a Minecraft constant. He’s free to travel the universe and cause problems for everyone, including himself!
Eventually Zloy finds his way to a little server called Truly Bedrock, where the moon is in pieces before they even start and the inhabitants are every flavour of unhinged imaginable. Zloy, who has seen weirder things than a broken moon and is also very unhinged, was right at home!
…Until said home got blown up by a chunk of moon.
And then the rest of the moon.
Fortunately, the TBers are frankly impossible to kill, even if they get bits of moon dropped on their heads every season finale. They’re like extremely weird cockroaches (affectionate).
So welcome to Season Two! This is where things get really interesting.
Zloy starts the season off with a shop in their new shopping district called the All Store. The All Store’s function is that people can both sell common resources to it, and buy from it, ideally creating a shop that restocks itself.
Originally it starts out as a fairly traditional chests-and-signs shop, but after a while Zloy gets bored waiting for the server to update to 1.16 I guess, so he revamps the All Store with an awful lot of well-explained redstone.
Realizing he’s kinda created something that could tangentially count as an artificial intelligence, he dubs it Allistore (Alice for short), mostly for the pun.
He then takes a break to reinvent the TNT duper because those don’t work on Bedrock. His solution is ghasts. He also builds a bunch of pirate ships and giant skulls because Zloy. He ignores the current ongoing serverwide problem that is beacons causing nether corruption in the overworld, but so does the rest of the server so.
Eventually going back to the All Store, Zloy gets to work and expands it once again and kinda rants in the general direction of whoever’s been messing with the circuits.
He finds a dark oak sign saying ‘hi’ in one of the dispensers, renames it to ‘henlo’, and chucks it into Alice’s water stream (which is set up to never let items despawn, meaning it'll in there forever) as a stupid joke.
Then he goes off to design a vault! It has elder guardians, cobblestone generators, obsidian, the works. His plan is to convince his servermate Dadcraft73 to pay Zloy for the right to put his diamonds in said vault. Dadcraft agrees, so long as a) the diamonds are insured and b) Zloy stores his diamonds in there as well.
…So the diamonds get stolen like a week later.
Zloy’s put on trial, and the court is a kangaroo court, and nothing makes sense and a definitely-not-Foxy-person shows up at one point while Judge Foxy steps out of the room, but he ends up owing Dadcraft hundreds of diamonds he doesn’t have.
Zloy finishes his expansion of the All Store, and checks his accounting chest to find not the results of his test run, but a face saying hi dad. Here’s the sign you lost.
So it turns out Alice is, in fact, sentient. Somehow. Neither they nor Zloy are quite sure why.
(It’s at this point Zloy switches from using she/her to they/them pronouns for Alice. Canonically they’re fine with both. )
Zloy installs a shulker box swapper so Alice can talk more easily than messing with the accounting chest, and then Alice tells him to get his act together and reopen so they can maybe earn Dadcraft’s diamonds before Zloy gets locked in his own vault (which is a very effective prison).
Alice mail-orders a mech from Mr Beardstone, who has a mech shop for some reason, and Zloy realizes Alice can look after themself and doesn’t really need him anymore. He gives them the diamonds he managed to accumulate and goes off to lock himself in his vault-turned-prison for the remainder of the season.
Alice is, quite frankly, having none of this, so they scan the inner workings of the mech and combine that information with a scan of a thing named Chuck that showed up like once and…. Look, I dunno what that thing is either tbh. There's no context as far as I can tell.
Anyway, these scans come in useful when Alice uses them to get Zloy’s old exosuit working and operational and they finally have a player-sized body to work with, so it’s time to bust Zloy out of jail!
Alice basically tells him to get his act together and get mining, because apparently he hasn’t told anyone other than Lyarrah that his shop is a person, and they don’t particularly want to get repossessed.
Zloy does a lot of mining and gives Dadcraft a stupid amount of diamond ore arranged in the most obnoxious tree he can manage and that’s the end of that.
The TBers finally decide to do something about the ongoing beacon corruption, and JessieB comes in with news of an extremely big, extremely ominous nether portal that will spell the end of the server.
Naturally, the TBers go to investigate, and learn that the extremely big, extremely ominous nether portal will not, in fact, turn off.
And then a giant magma cube came out and started destroying stuff.
While most of the TBers ran to upgrade and fire FoxyNoTail’s giant laser, Zloy and Beardstone split off to make a giant mech out of shops for Alice to pilot, and Alice fought the giant magma cube… at least until the laser destroyed both the mech and the magma cube.
The problem, as you might imagine, is that giant magma cubes tend to split into many, many, many smaller (large-size) magma cubes that are now swarming the entire server. The things are everywhere. There’s no escape.
Foxy figures that hey, they haven’t had the moon fall on them yet, may as well get it over with. He shoots the moon with the aforementioned laser, and everyone hauls tail into the very secure, apparently moon-proof vault/prison. Zloy doesn’t want to leave Alice to die, but Alice just kinda yells at him to get in the vault, they’ll be fine, they literally can’t die as long as the All Store still stands.
Zloy grabs part of Alice and goes, and then another chunk of moon lands on the TB server because these people really can’t go a season without that happening. It’s a wonder they have any moon left.
Speaking of which, the moon is suspiciously fine for Season 3. Not only is it in one piece, something that has not been the case for the server’s entire history, and also Alice shows up and starts acting really weirdly about halfway through the season (the thing Zloy grabbed turned out to just be a monitor).
Turns out Season 3 is a simulation run by Alice so the TBer’s brains don’t die while they heal from being squashed by the moon again. Unfortunately, Alice had to strip a lot of Zloy’s permissions to make this work, so even if they do pull everyone out, Zloy will be left without a functional body, and- no, stop offering yourself up as sacrifice you stupid zombie.
They break the server via the medium of maps, because maps in bedrock servers take up obscene amounts of data and completely destroy the file size. That’s not a TB-exclusive thing, that’s just a known problem with bedrock edition.
They get out, but Zloy’s body is, in fact, no longer functional, so Silent chops off his head and they take it with them. Zloy is fine, if rather grumpy from being stuck in Silent’s hotbar and unable to do anything except loudly judge Silent’s actions.
Eventually Silent gives up and gives Zloy to a random zombie he finds in a cliff, and Zloy, once equipped, is once again able to possess the zombie’s body and is capable of making that everyone’s problem, including his own.
Alice shows up eventually, names his overcomplicated autobrewer, and starts chilling in his hotel.
In short: Zloy is a ghost possessing a decapitated zombie head possessing a zombie. Alice is his offspring, an immortal AI/building who is able to use player-sized proxies to interact with people in a more traditional way. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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Poly!Marauders x Reader - First time
Poly!Marauders x Reader, it's her first time and they're all helping out. Also, it's so On Brand for James Potter to come in his pants while eating pussy. I love this man.
“So, you’re saying you’ve never… done it?” Sirius asks, looking at Y/N questioningly.
“Nice way to put it, Pads”, scolded Remus, reaching out to touch the cheek of their girlfriend.
“Uh, yeah, I guess”, she starts, “I mean, I’ve done… some stuff? But not, like, all of it?”
The boys share a look of… something new. Soon, three sets of hands are touching her, rubbing her thighs, arms, and sides.
“Do you… want to? With us?” Asks James, rubbing circles with his thumbs on her arms.
She’s playing with her hands in her lap, feeling her heart racing. Excitement started to take over the nervousness that had previously filled her body. She did want it, badly, but she was unsure of how to initiate, not knowing what was okay or how to best go about it.
“Yeah” she says, looking into James’ eyes, “Yeah, I want to.”
***
Not long after, she’s sitting against the headboard, back pressed against Sirius’ chest, lips locked with Remus and James’ lips kissing down her legs. They had promised to take the best of care of her, and she really could feel it, the love that encompassed her in this position. The arms of Sirius, wrapped around her waist, started to sneak under the fabric of her shirt, as Remus’ hands teased her nipples through the shirt.
“Baby, can I unbutton this?” Sirius asks from behind her, lips trailing kisses down her neck, leading to Remus receiving a moan in his mouth before she nods, telling the man behind her that yes he can.
Hands are running up her legs, rubbing at her thighs, sending shivers down her spine as her shirt finally comes undone, baring her tits for her little audience.
“So pretty, love”, murmurs Remus, sitting back and taking in the view.
James, too, leans up on his elbows to look at her, basking in her beauty, “Yeah babe, so pretty,” making her shy away from all the attention, trying to hide her face in Sirius’ hair.
“How’re you feeling, pretty girl?” Sirius asks her, reaching to grab at her pretty tits, feeling her arch her back against his chest.
“Uh huh, so good”, Y/N whines, feeling James’ hands creeping up her thighs, followed by his mouth, kissing, biting and nibbling at the skin. Her moans rise an octave as his hands reach the very top of her legs, fingers nudging her underwear.
“May I?” His glasses are completely askew and he’s looking up at her with wide eyes, shiny with anticipation, and when she nods he reaches all the way, rubbing at her clit through her panties, “How’s that feel baby?”
“Good, so good”, she’s getting whiny, the feeling of all three of them becoming overwhelming, “Remmy please, wanna feel you, kiss me?” And how could he ever say no to that? Leaning back down, he places one hand on her cheek, angling her face to be able to kiss her.
James taps her hips, indicating for her to lift so that he can pull her undies down, “Oh she’s so pretty”, he says, “Pretty little pussy… Pads, help me keep her legs open.” His friend complies, using his own legs to keep hers open, hands still running up and down her waist, sometimes coming up to grab at her tits.
Sploshy sounds fill the room as James’s lips stay locked against her wet pussy, his hips moving to rub himself against the mattress. Remus pulls away, again, “Do you like that, pretty girl? You like James eating your sweet cunt?” He asks, rubbing a thumb against her red and swollen lips, “I think you should put this pretty mouth to good use as well, don’t you?”
The question makes her blush a deep red, but she does think that so she nods, feeling that nervousness creep up again, but before she can think any more of it, Remus’ trousers and pants are off and he’s placing his hard, pink tipped cock right in her face. “Open up, baby”, he says, poking her lips with the head.
The taste is a bit strange, she thinks, salty and tangy, but not bad. She starts by licking around the tip, before opening up more to let him further in her mouth. At the same time, James’s fingers are working tirelessly against her clit, while his tongue licks around her hole, making her moan and whimper around Remus’ cock.
Remus has a firm hold around her neck, not really squeezing, just holding her in place as he lightly thrusts his hips, careful not to choke her. “So good, baby, such a sweet little mouth, yeah?” Her eyes open, looking up at him, “Yeah, you’re just made to take cock like this.”
In between her legs, James switches position, fingers plunging into her leaking hole, tongue rubbing circles on her sensitive bud. Her legs try to close, but Sirius’ legs keep her open for his friend, letting him feast on their girlfriend, while their other boyfriend fills her mouth. He can feel her getting closer, noticing how she gets more twitchy in the legs and her mouth turns slack around Remus. “So good, love, you can let go now, yeah just like that, let go, come all over James’ face, just like that, good girl”, Sirius is telling her to let go, and that with the praise sends her straight over the edge, juices flooding, covering James. Remus pulls out of her mouth, letting her breathe, and takes Sirius hand, bringing it to his cock. Watching their girl come, one of his boyfriends jerking his cock, Remus can’t do much but come, covering her chest in hot, white liquid.
“Jamie, please stop”, her hands go to his hair, pulling him off, “‘s too much, please.” He pulls away, face wet with her slick, and he looks sheepishly up at his three partners as they all notice the wet patch on his legs.
“Can you take more?” Asks Remus, coming down from his own orgasm. She nods, whimpering a simple yeah, “Good girl, then I think it’s about time Padfoot gets his turn with you, yeah?” Her eyes widen, but soon she’s turning in the lap of the aforementioned boy.
“Hi baby”, he says, finally facing her. Arms around her waist, holding her close
“Hey…”, her head nuzzling into the crook of his neck, smelling his hair, breathing it in.
“Gonna fuck you now, yeah? Gonna make you feel so good”, his hands reach down, grabbing her ass, spreading her cheeks slightly, “up a lil for me” he commands, and she raises herself up on her thighs, hovering over his lap. He frees himself from his pants, tugging himself a few times, “Allright, baby, now come down for me.” One hand on himself, the other on her hips, he aligns himself with her hole, letting her down, filling her up. They both moan at the intrusion, his eyes raising to look over her shoulder at their two boyfriends, eagerly watching the pair.
Sirius moves down a bit, laying down, letting her face stay in the place where his neck meets his shoulder, folding his legs and thrusting up into her. He winces as she bites his shoulder, in a desperate try not to scream out loud.
“Is this okay, baby?” He asks, warm hands rubbing her backside.
“Yeah, ‘s good, so good.” She feels like she’s on fire, her hole being perfectly stretched, g-spot consistently hit. It’s a new sensation, different from James’ fingers. When Sirius starts thrusting faster, holding onto her arse, practically splitting her in two, she goes into a very different headspace. It’s so good, so, so good, but also so so much and soon she’s coming, again, walls clamping down on Sirius’ cock, moans slipping from her mouth, stuck to her throat.
“Fuck, babe, you’re so good, so tight, love this little hole”, he’s, once again, whispering very dirty words in her ear, chasing his own orgasm.
“Ah, huh, Siri, fuck, ah, please”, she’s whiny, moaning and whimpering, small hands clamping down on his upper arms, holding on for dear life.
“Ah that’s it, love, gonna come now, gonna fill you up”, and he does, and it’s amazing, yet another completely new sensation, sending her over the edge for a third time.
“Good job baby, took us all so well”
“Yeah love, you did so well for us, gonna let you rest now”
“‘M gonna clean you up a lil, you just lay here though, such a good girl”
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