#and also because she is so optimistic and cheerful and laserblast is SUCH an edgy boy whos like 'tch. optimism is naive. the world sucks'

[transvoxman]

*slaps laserblast* you can fit so much toxic masculinity in this guy

#there's so many layers to why laserblast left POINT and especially as to why he left the way he did #1. he didnt respect silverspark at all :( #2. felt like he had to be The Best. jealous of silverspark because he put her on a pedestal and thought of her as The Best and Most Powerful #3. the pressure of being marketed as The 1 Perfect Hero and Face of POINT magnifying all his anxieties about being the best #4. I think he felt like he was better than everyone else at POINT in some ways. especially after he started secretly doing lab research #because then he set a precedent of keeping secrets from his team members. and the more distant he became the more bitter he could get #and the more he could be like 'no one really knows me they just see me as a super idealized hero' #BUT HOW CAN THEY KNOW YOU IF YOU NEVER OPEN UP TO THEM DUMBASS #he was like 'no one understands me. cant believe these losers think researching better powers is evil. >:(' #MEANWHILE CAROL IS SO HYPE TO BE DATING LASERBLAST! AND HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE!! #he doesn't respect her as a person because he sees her as just another fan first of all #and also because she is so optimistic and cheerful and laserblast is SUCH an edgy boy whos like 'tch. optimism is naive. the world sucks' #and laserblast is so caught up in how unhappy he is with his facade as the Most Idealized Hero Ever that he doesnt stop to really think. #to really Think about the fact that his teammates are real fucking people who genuinely believe in what they're doing. #for them it ISNT a facade! but laserblast just keeps projecting his issues onto other people #and he keeps thinking that everyone has ulterior motives and arent as happy and positive as they seem. again because of projecting #but at the same time he's so deep in his Hero Persona that he doesn't know how to stop at this point. he thinks he'll be laserblast forever #and even though he THINKS that faking his own death was because he 'discovered laserblast doesnt respect him' #it was obviously the build up of SO MUCH RESENTMENT and feeling really trapped and being too much of a coward to admit it to anyone #and on top of EVERYTHING ELSE the absolutely wild levels of toxic masculinity that made him SO INCREDIBLY NOT SELF AWARE #'feelings? never heard of them. I'm doing just fine as laserblast and I'm in such deep denial that I've tricked myself into believing it' #and since carol was the one he pretended to open up to and thus the one who thought she actually knew him #and since she was the closest to him #she became the one he resented the most. she became a representation of everything he hated about being in POINT in his head #which is SO UNFAIR TO HER #and laserblast didnt even REALIZE he felt all of this about POINT and about her #the only thing he let himself acknowledge was that he thought POINT was really stupid for thinking it was evil to research better powers #honestly. at surface level he probably thought there was something wrong with HIM for not being happy at POINT #and if he just got powerful enough to feel equal to everyone else especially silverspark then he thought he would finally feel fine #after all. EVERYONE wants to be laserblast