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#and all tolkien lore
stormxpadme · 2 years
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Remember when
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and Éowyn being like
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wutya2ijb2t · 1 year
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Natural busty brunette slave gets facial Big Bubbles Booty Ass Shake Teen hooker backstage casting Up close fuck Amateur blonde rides dick and gets facial from stepdad in hd Turkish man jerk off show Filthy hot cunnilingus session with delightful dyke honeys Dirty teen slut loves getting long inches up her worked out love tunnel Chocalate Backshots SweetSinner MILF College Prof. Drilled by Obsessed Student
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batboythebanished · 1 year
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Catholic Guilt²
Irish Steve Harrington? Yes.
Italian Steve Harrington? Also yes.
I've seen barely any content for this so I'm making my own.
Steve Harrington with a dual citizenship because grandpa Otis is Irish now. Maybe he moved to America as a teen or young adult but either way he got to America.
Otis means "wealth" and the Irish version of Harrington is "Ó hArrachtáin" meaning "mighty" or "powerful" which is very fitting to the whole "king steve" image.
Upon arrival in the US, Otis definitely changed his last name into English to make it easier to find a job. He got married to a nice American girl, settled down, had a family, went to war, the usual things for the time period. Had a son, Sean who didn't have an Irish accent or care to learn Irish but felt like he had something to prove. Sean definitely hid he was the son of an immigrant but still grew up going to church every Sunday bc ✨️Irish Catholicism✨️ strikes again.
Now Maria Harrington nee Esposito was born in America to parents who emigrated from Italy. 100% grew up speaking Italian and learned English from school/tv/environment. Maria didn't really want to settle down and be a housewife but again ✨️Catholicism✨️ and societal norms. Sean and Maria meet at university/college age and had an instant connection.
Flash forward to Steve being born. Now in true Italian fashion, this kid has a few middle names because while Maria agreed to let his first name be Stíofán bc Irish tradition, his first middle name had to be Italian and ended up being Enrico (means "powerful in his homeland" ) after her father. Maria definitely still calls him Stefano tho unless they're in public, because "Steven" sounds more "American dream ". Steve's second middle name is still Otis and the one he uses on school projects.
So Stíofán "Stefano" Enrico Otis Harrington realises pretty early on that American accents make his name sound weird and announces he wants to be called "Steve". His parents aren't home enough to care and the teachers quickly forget his real name bc they could barely pronounce it in the first place. It's Hawkins, Indiana so let's be fr.
So Steve ends up staying at Grandpa Otis's house a lot bc his parents just kinda went "ok we continued on the family name, call us if he dies" and kept going on business trips. Said business trips turned into trips Maria just went on to make sure Sean wasn't cheating after she caught him with his secretary. In their hotel room. The only reason they're not divorced is convenience and social image.
Grandpa Otis passed away right before Steve started high school and his parents deemed him old enough to be left alone. This is where the parties and King Steve's origins began.
Idk if I should add more to this or not but let me know if you liked it!
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deer-with-a-stick · 7 months
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The more time I spend explaining Tolkien lore to my brother the more I realize that Tolkien was just batshit insane
#yes the world is flat and a globe at the same time#and yes if you go off the edge you fall into the void with Satan 1.0 (assuming the Straight Road doesn't just railroad you)#he calls Valinor “The place under some trees where everyone smokes weed” and honestly I wish they would do that instead#bilbo and frodo bring weed to valinor quick#i tried to explain the miriel-finwe situation and he's so confused#“so they died and they were all sad even though they didn't have to stay dead?? but she couldn't come back because he remarried??”#“but then he dies and says 'yo ill stay dead instead' and she's find now??”#does the big God just keep making elf and human souls or do they just. appear#i told him about Gil-Galad Son of Plothole#he is quickly realizing that yes#the valar are a bit incompetent#its fine#elrond's dad is a star his mom is a bird and his great great grandma is an angel#my sister gave up two seconds in despite sparking this by asking me about elf lore#apparently she actually just wants to know about legolas but not legolas' father because of the hobbit movies#let me rant about feanorian politics it'll be interesting i promise#shut up about your elf backflips you wanna hear about nirnaeth arnoediad and the kinslayings#tolkien#lotr#lord of the rings#silmarillion#the silm#is this a shitpost? idk#he's batshit insane but the world is great i love it#we still don't know where hobbits come from#they appeared one day#like potatoes#i had one tidbit of legolas lore and that was#the guy showed up several years late in a homemade boat with a dwarf#incomprehensible screaming
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mjrdm · 2 months
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Okay new eso original daedric prince is a Generic White Girl with tattoos. Okay
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I feel like Bilbo would be fully willing to criticize the choices of first age elves to their faces entirely based on how well details of their stories could be put to verse in westron, a language that did not exist at the time.
“Your cloak was trimmed in purple!? No that won’t do at all! Do you even understand how hard it is to rhyme purple? It’s quite inconsiderate to preform song-worthy deeds in purple you know! Humph, I guess we must make do with metaphor, but I shall have to completely reconstruct the meter for this whole stanza so that it scans! Quite inconvenient. What do you mean?! Of course I have to describe the colors you wore, how else shall the listener picture the scene! Now, let’s go for a walk in the garden, and you can point out which blooms are closest in hue to your cloak-trim. What did you eat before the battle by the way?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T REMEMBER!?!”
Bilbo’s unrepentant willingness to scold fearsome warlords over the poetic potential of their outfits, and unforgivable inability to provide culinary details utterly delights Elrond, who is usually the only person in the room that realizes Bilbo is 100% messing with them.
Elrond gets as close to moping as he ever does when Celebrian insists that he can’t bring Bilbo to his first meeting with his parents in 6000 years, because “Love, the whole point of the exercise is YOU talking to them, not laughing at how confused Bilbo makes them! Bring him next time.”
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8thparadox · 1 year
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for day two of @khazadweek - second age i did not care about rop. i was not planning on watching rop. but then i saw that there were dwarves and i had no other choice. to me disa and durin are the main characters. everything with galadriel and sauron and shit is just b-plot.
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megaera-of-pigeon · 1 year
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Miraland’s elves seem like they were influenced by Tolkien’s elves. Tolkien’s elves were inspired by Icelandic folklore. Therefore, to get him in touch with his roots, we should shove Chloris into a winter coat and send him to North so that he can experience life the way he was meant to
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brynnmclean · 4 months
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I can't believe I still have to see posts about how much better ROP would be if Celebrían was the lead vs. Galadriel. As someone who has Tolkien Brainrot, I understand the appeal, I really, really do. As someone who has had to interact with so many people who either do not care about Tolkien Lore but are interested in fantasy television shows or are Jackson film fans first/foremost/only, y'all. Galadriel is a known character and a decent intro to lesser known characters.
Hate to break it to y'all but Celebrían is OBSCURE. I'm pretty confident in saying that if you get outside of Tolkien Fandom online circles, you could tell people that Elrond was married to Galadriel's daughter and the response you would get would be, "oh, I didn't realize that" because it's touched so lightly in the films. Celebrían isn't even MENTIONED by name. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure if anyone mentions that Galadriel and Arwen are related at all!
My point is the show is meant to appeal to more people than us over here with Tolkien Brainrot!!!!!! I love Celebrían, but Galadriel was an easier sell to the potential of a wider audience as a lead. For a show that needs to go through so much lore very quickly, having Galadriel as the lead because she's 1) female [the overwhelming amount of male characters vs. female characters in the Legendarium is another post], 2) relatively familiar, and 3) has a set characterization to lead toward for an arc vs. her barely-even-mentioned-in-LotR daughter is a no-brainer.
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rohirric-hunter · 4 months
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stormxpadme · 9 months
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11 & 25 for tolkien ❤️
🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥 Tolkien
11 - number of fandom-related words you've filtered
7, one of them being "not Tolkien" LOL. Xkit blacklist my beloved.
25 - common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
If I never have to hear another Legolas hair discourse again in my life, it will be too early.
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watched the first episode of the show with the parents, and got talking about the Deep Tolkien Lore™ with mum afterwards. was telling her about my favourite faction in the silmarillion, galadriel’s evil mafia cousins, and mentioned that i didn’t think they were likely to show up on account of them all being dead by this point, ‘except for that one guy on the beach,’ to which my mum replied ‘what, sipping piña coladas and taking it easy?’ and on further thought we don’t really know that’s not what he’s doing, do we
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gale-in-space · 2 months
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We were trying to figure out why Christians keep making LOTR into allegories for Christianity and I got a little too enthusiastic :\
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2clones-1kamino · 6 months
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You guys, I did it. I finished reading The Hobbit. I know this is like..a book you read in like middle school.. but not me. So filter the tag below cus ima hit you with each one of the books as i continue on my middle earth journey as it was intended.
(I have only seen parts of the desolation of smaug so idk wtf happens in the story. I am v pleased.)
Not my ass wondering what 2 other armies were in the battle of five armies during that whole rigamarole at the lonely mountain happening. And then the fucking goblins and wargs came in outta nowhere with a steel chair cus i completely forgot about them since we left Beorn’s house. Mr. Tolkien, sir, I give you my hand to shake for this utter surprise. Maybe it wasnt supposed to be a surprise but i legit FORGOT that y’all were pissed about ur goblin king. Dont get me started about the eagles and Beorn coming in to fuck shit up & that bilbo was just knocked tf out and Tolkien didn’t really need to go into detail. Even tho he kinda did… this man out here writing shit like “attackers were attacked” and “wounded with many wounds”?? That’s allowed!??!¿?
Also insane that the entire time I thought Thorin was gonna be the one that killed Smaug and i was like WOW THE DWARVES DO ALMOST NOTHING IN THIS ENTIRE BOOK.
Also… not me getting angry at Thorin for being such a greedy bastard and then straight up sobbing when he died. Talk about literally becoming the King UNDER the Mountain. That last goodbye when Bilbo was leaving the Lonely Mountain gutted me. Saluting Fili and Kili.
Also BILBO. I hated that mf in the beginning. But the GROWTH. My god..GOOD FOR YOU BILBO. THE MOST CHARACTER ARC TO EVER.
The 2 sentences mentioning the Necromancer (SAURON YOU EVIL SLUT) out of the south of mirkwood toward the end of the book? Fucking insane.
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wantonlywindswept · 2 months
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gotta say i have been seeing some extremely cold takes in my chosen fandom of late and i am both Not About It but also Very Tired
#just to be clear#if you think that there is a division between 'worthy' and 'unworthy' fans#you are a problem#what is this early anime fandom all over again#'oh you've only seen the dub?'#'sorry but you're only a True Fan (tm) if you've watched the subtitled version and read all 120 volumes of the manga'#actually you know what fandom i respect the most?#lotr fandom#easily the nicest friendliest fandom hands down#never cared if people had read the silmarillion or not and not just because that would be cruel and unusual punishment#i adored the movies but could not for the life of me read the books#fucking hated tolkien's style of writing#maybe i'd like it now who knows#but you know what that was never an issue#'oh you came from the movies? that's so cool here's three different recipes for lembas and the translation of your name in sindarin'#actually is gatekeeping on the rise along with all the recent weird puritanical shit i've been seeing across multiple fandoms?#that would make a lot of sense actually#and look#i usually go fucking FERAL for research and background lore#but there are limits to my time my energy my access and my interest#i have never been so interested-alienated in regards to a fandom before#like 'damn i would love to get into this but there is So Much Fucking Stuff i feel i should know first'#so i've been ending up just being an observer#which is great on one hand! observers and readers and viewers are incredible love them peeps they're absolutely vital to fandom#but that's not how *I* usually interface with fandom#i like creating things#and that's been stopped up by my own personal desire to Know All The Things First before writing#(which i would never actually require for other people that's just a How My Brain Works thing)#and the fandom's own self-policing of what level of knowledge is valid and what isn't#tumblr fuck u for not letting me use more tags ANYWAY yeah sad for me or w/e but don't do this shit to new fans they deserve better
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nenyabusiness · 1 year
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TOLKIEN TLDR: Ainulindalë – The Music of the Ainur
Ever wondered how Middle-earth came to be? Here, have a silly, highly simplified summary of the creation of Eä according to Ainulindalë.  
The story starts with Eru Ilúvatar; an all-knowing, all-powerful, capital-G kind of God, and the Ainur; the offspring of his thought. He teaches the Ainur (who are totally not angels) the art of music, and then he makes them sing for him. For a while, everything sounds great. Perfect harmony, perfect synch, everyone knows their part.
Well. Almost everyone.
One of the Ainur, Melkor (who is totally not Lucifer), decides that his role in the story is a bit too passive for his taste. He starts interweaving his own ideas into Ilúvatar’s perfect theme, and, well, I think anyone who’s ever been in a choir knows exactly how much discord a single diva can cause. Some Ainur join him, some ignore him, and some stop singing altogether. Eventually, Ilúvatar puts his foot down, stops the cacophony, and firmly explains to his choir that no, free will is not a thing in this household.
After his speech, Ilúvatar shows the Ainur a vision. They see a world, alive and growing, and they’re told that it was created by their music—including the discord that Melkor caused. In the end, it was all a part of Ilúvatar’s grand design. Classic capital-G God move.
The history of the world plays out before them, and they see the coming of the Children of Ilúvatar: first the Elves, and then the Men. The Ainur don’t get the full story, though. The vision ends without any major spoilers of the later ages. It’s more like a trailer, really, showing off the potential of this new world.
It’s a good pitch, and the Ainur are hooked. They want to see the rest. When Ilúvatar asks if any of them would like to descend into the new world, there are several volunteers. One of them is, of course, Melkor, who considers this an excellent opportunity to finally create something of his own. He wants a domain to rule. He wants subjects and servants. He wants this world for himself, and he wants the Children of Ilúvatar to call him “Lord”. (He’s not Morgoth, “The Black Foe of the World” yet, but he’s definitely working on it.)
Okay, so, terminology time. The world that has just been created is called Eä, and within it, we have Arda, which is basically Earth but flat. In Arda we have Middle-earth, which is the continent where The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and most of The Silmarillion take place. Alright? Alright. Moving on.
Many of the Ainur decide to stay with their God, but some do descend into the new world. They become the Valar; gods-without-the-capital-G, and the Maiar; supporting spirits of the Valar. It’s not until after they’ve made their descent that they find out that there’s a catch—a small detail that Ilúvatar failed to mention.
The world isn’t finished yet.
What they saw was in the vision was just a foreshowing, and now it’s their job to make it come true. They’re going to have to turn a world that’s still dark and shapeless into a place where the Children of Ilúvatar can one day thrive. A bit of a dick move, if you ask me, but most of the former Ainur are fine with this setup. Melkor, however, immediately tries to claim Arda as his own kingdom and then proceeds to make life difficult for anyone who disagrees, which would be pretty much everyone. He does convince some of the Maiar to join him though, including the Balrogs and a being that will later be known as Sauron.
And so the terraforming of Eä begins. The strife between the Valar and Melkor turns into a seemingly endless cycle of creation and destruction, but eventually, they somehow manage to create a world that’s habitable for Elves and Men. It’s not a replica Ilúvatar’s vision, but it’s good enough. The history of Middle-earth can now begin.  
A/N: The Silmarillion is an extraordinary piece of literature and I highly recommend reading it. It’s not a “the gist of things” kind of book though, and I’m very much a “the gist of things” kind of gal. I like simplifying and summarizing things, so that’s what I did. No disrespect intended toward the source material.
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