#and all the guys i know who were like im a lesbian oops no im a guy actually....im a gay man now

[sistervirtue]

oops yeah please share the story I am in dire need of your webweaving

Sorry this is so late, I was struck immediately and viciously by the wrath of god (and sedatives), so needless to say i was away from my computer

anyway so . the setting is: bnha roleplay server. let me introduce our cast

we have ME, 18, playing Monoma

we have the Bakugou and Shinsou roleplayers, who are a couple also. They are also the server mods. Notably, all three of us are some kinda gay-guy-adjacent-moment

you have Snow, 19, playing Kaminari and Summer, 20-something, playing Kirishima. Snow was ace/agender/aro and summer was identifying as cis bihet

SETTING THE SCENE.

I, unaware of summer identifying unironically as like, biromantic heterosexual, had accidentally started a fight about microlabels in the discourse channel, which ended in her refusing to speak to me further on the topic because she "couldnt control herself from hurting me", which were big words from someone i was not scared of in any way, but slay.

Regardless, the server moved forward.

Kirishima was, in this setting, a gay guy. I'm pretty sure he also had lesbian moms. Summer decided to take the exciting "discovering your identity" approach, despite confiding in us that she really didn't come out until well into adulthood, but one is not limited to live experience in the world of fiction, yeah? however, i think some people should be.

anticipation builds in the ooc chat. monoma makes an off-hand comment about being gay. kirishima asks, "what's that?"

we are aghast. this continues. not only does imaginary gay kirishima not know what gay is, he doesnt know what lgbt stands for. when a comment is made that he could google it, a joke about it all being inappropriate images is dropped. the homophobia is beginning to stink. however i have promised i would not get into more fights (liar) so me and the shinsou and bakugou rpers are just like, ribbing at it a little in the ooc chat. like, "man, i wish i was this sheltered growing up, maybe i wouldnt have been bullied in school" or something to that effect, which summer takes very personally and adamantly defends her right to imagine a world where it is in any way realistic for a sixteen year old who is gay and has gay moms to be this stupid.

but nonetheless, the in character chat goes on. kirishima is still getting hooked on phonics style sexuality. and then kaminari decides to whip out a chart. which chart?

THIS. THIS THING.

needlessly to say, we were baffled. surely no one believes this is how anything works, yes?

the vilification of hypersexuality (medical symptom, often of trauma). the bizarre insistence on carefully organizing every aspect of attraction on a gradient. its such a fascinating little piece of bullfucker, but furthermore,

in a world in which the LGBT acronym is too hard for someone to grasp, im supposed to believe he just clicks with Sexuality Battleship??? I'm a professional faggot and this thing confuses me.

It was such beautiful insight into their minds. A world in which one can skip all the annoying gay people parts of sexuality labels and instead dive right into the microcosms of what was solely relevant to them. it also fantastically predicted the future homophobia i would be subject to, including a line about how "gay people had enough and wouldnt stop stealing ace rep" about the magnus archives, and also the todoroki conversion therapy moment, but this was really just a truly incredible appetizer to the full course of dumb fuckery.

#homophobia #f slur

[criticalrolo]

i INSTANTLY need to know more about cormorant da-ge

im sticking nie mingjue in a house by the river run by two lesbians with their younger siblings so he can make friends with some birds and be wildly overprotective of the kids to his hearts content

anyway here's what's going on to get NMJ sent to the seaside for his health like a jane austen character

JGS is making noises about how much more convenient his life would be if someone would Rid Him Of This Turbulent Sect Leader, Henry II style, and JGY has the idea to try out this cool new composition called the Song of Turmoil

Except he's never tried to kill someone with the Song of Turmoil before, and apparently those songs are powerful enough to kill people within three notes if played by a master! and this is a Modified Version that could conceivably do... Anything

So the first time he decides to try out the song. well. instead of a slow poison he's got a half-dead da-ge spitting blood on the floor 50% of the way into a qi deviation

PANIC. drag his sworn brother to the Koi Tower Basement to see if your half-baked stygian tiger amulet can do anything

the song is still in NMJ's head causing problems so he works out a plan with XY to try to just. erase the song and the memory of that afternoon. see if that does the trick

NMJ wakes up and says what the fuck. where am i. who are you

FUCK SHIT FUCK okay. we're going into crisis mode since we obviously can't send an amnesiac da-ge back to Qinghe when we were SUPPOSED to be doing medical care

Xue Yang go dump this guy in a river to get him as far away from here as possible while JGY does some DAMAGE control to make it look like NMJ left Lanling like expected and possibly disappeared on the way back home

1 terrible trip down the river later, local Yunping fisherman's cormorants find a body in the weeds. he fishes the biggest dude he's ever seen out of the water and OOPS this guy is still alive!! good thing his sister's "very good friend who shares a room with her and is raising a child with her" is the town's doctor!

Cue frantic life saving scene where eventually This Guy wakes up and tells them he doesn't remember anything about himself or his life. oh no he must have fallen off a boat somewhere and hit his head really hard :(

Doesn't even know his own name. He's pretty sure he can remember being called Da-ge by someone though

They'd feel bad if they just set this guy wandering off with literally Nothing to go on in the world. plus he can reach the top shelves in their house without having to get a chair

He can stay with them if he helps with the farm animals, learns how to fish, and helps out the family business. And even though his meridians are all fucked up he's got a little bit of cultivation ability so he can help their daughter build up her golden core. He's pretty good at this training thing!

They've got nine cormorants named after the Nine Sons of the Dragon. Baxia the cormorant is fucking obsessed with Da-ge for whatever reason

Domestic life continues with Da-ge out on a boat during the day and helping the cultivators out with developing their golden cores, training they normally wouldn't really have access to

One day the doctor says her cousin is coming to visit! she hasn't seen her since the end of the Sunshot campaign and she's excited to reconnect with her. oh look here she comes!! hi luo quinyang it's been forever since we've seen you!!

POV: you are Mianmian, you left the cultivation world a year ago and you're traveling around as a rogue cultivator now. You visit your cousin. Fucking Chifeng-Zun is in her front yard. He's been presumed dead for the last year. what the actual fuck do you do

meanwhile JGY is desperately trying to convince NHS back in Qinghe to accept that his brother is dead for his own sake <3 for his own closure so he can lead the sect in his brother's memory <3 please god stop looking into this <3

NHS: "haha yeah you're probably right sang-ge. anyway im going to go look into all of our historical records to see how i can get access to Dead People's Spirits to Find Their Bodies and maybe this will lead to me bringing my dead necromancer friend back from the dead. xoxo"

anyway eventually they reunite and it's a whole debacle. this is actually a v long way for me to make NMJ and mianmian accidental friends because I think it would be funny

#this au is parallel to the au in my head where the Mamas Nie disappeared because. they time traveled by accident. dont worry about it #things that can heal qi deviations: hanging out with cooler lesbians and being friends with birds #making more lesbian friends certainly fixed a lot of MY spiritual cognition. ANYWAY #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #mianmian #mdzs #cormorant fishing au

[jemmo]

my sister watches bad buddy - ep 4

- pat is the definition of these muscles are here for nothing pls protect me

- omg he went for the waist

- look it’s an actual cat (not pran the cat)

- i rlly wanna see what long haired guy (she means korn) looks like with his hair down

- does his shirt say friend (me like 👀👀👀 she noticed)

- why are they dressed like church boys

- omg it’s the lesbian!!!!!!

- wow she’s bold for the first day

- *trips* wow i would’ve run away and changed schools

- oh sorry pran let me accidentally walk into you head on

- oh sorry pran let me accidentally get in your way when i can fully see where im going and have my hands out ready to hold your waist

- oh it’s pat, that’s the pat face (when pran looks through the keyhole)

- pats rlly out here like “do you not understand how far were in to this relationship, I’m moving in”

- pat rlly like “come and sit down honey stop disturbing domestic time by trying to kick me out”

- oh yeah this is what bros do, just shoving heads up shirts

- and take your whorish lil flip flops with you

- he’s insufferable i adore him (and yes, shes talking about pat)

- pran really shut that door like i just saw heaven. and then proceeded to sit on his pat infested sofa and bask in all his sweat. fuck that boys got it down bad.

- pran: leave me alone. also pran: wtf why aren’t you texting me to tell me where you’re going

- uh oh pat been caught playing away from home

- i know i should be rooting for pat and pran but pat and ink would make the hottest couple ever

- pat looking at ink like oops my bisexuality is showing

- *sees inkpa interact once* hmmm yeah I like them

- oh shit pats been caught playing away AGAIN

- prans like “oh sorry I was just having a gay hallucination”

- i approve of his short shorts

- who’s he looking at!!!!!!

- both pran and ink like my homosexual ass?? like you????

- look at him taking in the stray puppy

- stop sniffing!!!!!

- come on he just wants cuddles. you can’t deny those biceps

- *rubs hands together* yesssss the bracelet jealousy

- *chanting* say no. say no. say no.

- NO!

- oh fuck that hurts

- no, no, I know you don’t mean it but pls stop talking pat, you’re just making it worse

- that’s what heartbreak looks like *points to his single tear*

- you may have stole my heart but you will never steal my duvet!!!

- *fades to black* *she turns to me* i’m not ok

(ep 1) (ep 2) (ep 3)

#im SO SORRY im so behind on these #work has been exhausting me but im gonna schedule all these to post over the next couple of weeks #bc yes we only have one ep left #and shes been putting off for weeks bc she doesnt want it to end #and were waiting for the perfect friday evening alone to watch it #anyway we have a running joke that my older sister is just the slightest bit bi #bc shes rlly weak for kate winslet in the holiday specifically #and now ink is firmly added to that list #so yes ink makes everyone gay for her its a fact #and shes obsessed #one of my fave lines shes ever said that i cannot stop bringing up #and idk if its in these anywhere but ill say it here anyway #THIS IS JUST ICONIC #I WANT TO BE IN AN INK PAT SANDWICH #and she believes in lesbian himbo supremacy #and yet they’re keeping up the precedent bad buddy set of saying we are not shying away as a show or as actors #bad buddy series #made by jemmo

[will1]

MY FRIEND ASKED ME 4 MY LGBT TF2 HCS!!! i wrote a bunch of paragraphs 4 the guy and thought i might as well post em here 2 lol. never done a hc post but why not. ALSO i am sorry if these r bad takes plz have mercy on me scout- unfortunately has alot of internelized homophobia so he acts like,,, super duper straight and masc 2 appear as hetero to both his brothers and the other mercs. chases women and LOVES WOMEN BOOB WOMEN to keep this up, but after seeing how litereally everyone else is gay and realizing that it is NOT BAD!!! he chooses LOVE WINS, so in short bi becuz he is BI HIMSELF ((also ive heard alot of trans hcs and i like that idea, either for him being ftm or mtf later down the line   pyro- genderfluid?? more like,,, genger GASOLINE, fire burn fire. probably has like a gay autistic who loves fire flag saved on their phone. uses all pronouns and has multiple neo pronouns but in the same way they r nonbinary in general?? i thinks, id ont know if hes r ace or if they have jst not found someone they have a crush on, in the same way i think shed get really silly crushes on people like shawn mendes or something. also pan and does not care about gender at all  engineer!!!- ppl think that he is straight, these people are WRONG!!!  i think he'd b bi without the urself way!! maybe influenced by pyro and has tried he/them pronousn b4, hot single dad looking for other dads  demoman- OUUUGH he is  silly 2 me, absoloutely wild with gender presentation and i would htink he absoloutely would show up to bars wearing makeup and painting his nails or wearing skirts ((hehahe scottish) and ROCKING IT. uses any pronouns even tho he still prefers he/him. pan sexual and when drunk or sober flirts with any attractive person in the vicinity. does not depend on who it is  soldier- LOVES MEN((and also zhanna)), GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS LESBIANS (saw something about people asking him(usa) for his(usas) pronouns and he just screams america at them, usa/usas LOL)  sphee- like demoman in the way i think he gets manicures and wears really lavish dresses. definetely wiill sleep witj anyone no matter gender, win 4 all sluts ever /j spy would wear those damn expensive I just killed my husband robez….  snipaoer-  DEFINETELY demisexual, scared of litreally any relationship ever and if u touch him he will explode and migt start crying LOL,  has never really thought about his sexuality cause that means actually acknowledging the idea that anyone besides his poor parents will ever love him and THAT IS NOT A THING??? duh :/, simply exists in a state of completely unlabeled and 2 scared to thing any harder about it lol, meeting spy is the most emotional damge that life has implanted onto him the last 2 accidently just became backstory headcanons instead of lgbt ones, oops  heavy!!!- like sniper never really thought about it,, all hes ever seen has been straight people so he never evn rlly thought that being gay was like... a option. also never really had many real life crushes on people as a kid and thought the guy celebs were a bit prettier then the womenz, did not think about this either. meeting medic was like a whole new thing 4 him cause 1, first person hes ever been emotionally attached 2 very much besides his family. and 2, its a guy. was  confusing 4 him to figure out at such a late age but didnt scare him 2 much, and also his whole family was like YIPPEE!!!!! our lovely misha finally has a date thank god. they r all so supportive and love hearing about medic whenever heavy sends letters. heavy writes about him alot, his mom alwas asks when they r gonna have a grandson and heavy is like,, ma??? were gay, and his families all like, ADOPT A KID ,, heavy is not sure about medic being a dad LOL ((sorruy this became a heavymedic hcs instead of just heavy hcs, but i feel like medic is important to his lbgt-ness)) MEDIC.0- saving the one im least sure about 4 last- apparently he had a wife in the past but i think this was just to please his parents and 2 appear straight cuz this weirdo is a RAGING homosexual. poor wife had it rough and thought he was cheating the whole time, sad loveless marriage for both of em. in his teen years he was a part of alot of lgbt and punk groups in germany bcuz it is funny 2 imagine him with his hair all spiked or somethign eagain medic prob did not protest as a 20-something cuz he didnt wanna lose his medical liscense, doesnt matter cuz he did anyways LOL. but now that he is old he absoloutely loves it and litearlly does wahtever he wants, i think he likes to look nice, as in wear sweaters and button ups and nice shoes and slacks when he is not working. he is like a gay mr rogers

#tf2 #headcanons??? #team fortress two #id put all the mercs names in tags but 1 im lazy and 2 nobody needs to see al this #also.... i am willing to answer more headcanon questions so if u want me silly opinions on anyhtighg... #my ask box is open >:))))

[mizuribbons]

v3 liveblogging starts now

start of prologue - end of prologue

spoilers under the cut

:readmore:

here we goooo it's startinggg

"I'm the protagonist-" false information!!! besides you aren't even better than the real protag smh my head /hj

"a classroom?" No shit Mozart or whatever I don't know classical musicians well

that's a very weird pinching noise...

HERE COMES SHUICHI!!!! HERE HE COMESSSSS

HERE HE ISSSSSSSSSSS <3

*my dumbass kissing the screen*

haha butt /j

i should honestly be bonked for obsessing too much over a fictional character... actually two fictional characters.

something about Kaede saying shut up is the funniest fucking thing ever

gray guy's ass /j i do not have a crush on gray guy

"why me?" you signed up for this shit kaede don't act like you didn't (I know I know she doesn't remember blah blah blah)

slapping shit time

Kaede asking the door questions /j yes yes inner dialogue I know no shit

"what?" quote of the year fr

kokichi time

there he is

i accidentally skipped his dialogue waaaaaa

hello sir avocado man

there are 16 gayasses

hehehehehehehe ryoma so fucjing short lmaooo /hj

i don't like string cheese. actually i don't like cheese at all!!!

"we screwed up" the game makers screwed up when making you and your siblings except monodam he's the only good one

just realised my fav monokub is in front of one of my comfort characters and my least fav is in front of the other.... hmmmmmmm

damn maybe monokid mentioned hell at some point idk

kaede really flabbergasted at them being monokubs

yes you were fucking right no shit avocado

off topic but the monokub theme fucking slaps it's an absolute banger

sleepy ass bitch tbh wake up!!! wake up!!!!!!!!!

"forgot" you mean forgor???? they forgor lol

hello again Kokichi :)

"friggin'" you know you can say fucking this is Danganronpa after all

MLG horns + Sailor Moon transformation = V3 transformation sequence

"what am I wearing" clothes lmao

we waking up again soon

we already did this shit!!!!!!!!!

here comes Shuichi 2.0!!!!! insert autism creature yippee

he's so cute fr

aaaand here comes the music

monokubs are back I hate those bitches

i hate monokid most but he's so fucking funny, you're the monster actually why are you scared you lil bitch

wow monokid confirmed stuffed animal

first monokid boner of the game...

you calling the best people ever cretins?!?! honestly stfu monophanie sorry i am obsessed with fictional characters

sixteen sure is a number kaede

skipping the whole ultimate explanation I don't care honestly

monokid rager voice line count: 2

introductions for the second time, you love to see it

star kissing the screen again... that isn't even my fav character

"usually just piano freak" well that isn't nice

baby kaede still ugly as fuck tbh where's her nose and why does she already have a full head of hair even baby peko looked better and she didn't have a nose either

at least she grows up very pretty

"when did this get in my backpack?" 0.3 seconds ago!

smoothie :D

foreshadowing moment

yaaaaaa blueberry smooothieeeee

Kaede is such a hardcore lesbian

going to see avocado man again!!!

clearly you're the ultimate avocado

i forgot to type anything here when talking to Himiko but now I'm talking to Tenko

"you're so cute!" And you're a lesbian

Tenko said her first degenerate males im so proud of her

let's go to best character (Kokichi)

KOKICHI I'M COMING FOR YOU

HERE WE WRE

Here he IS

HE IS HERE

sorry I am very happy

we have all of the best boys in one room (and Kaede is there too)

how couldn't Kaede tell that Kiibo is a robot????

he did it he said "i will see you in court"

yes introduce yourself king!!!!!

he's so silly

HE SAID IT HE SAID ROBOT DICK FUNNY HAHA LINE

why is this man so fucking funny he has my brain in a chokehold

maki rol

hello short cat lover man

oops I forgot to go see miu lmao

news flash: everyone who wears pants is a PERVERT!1!1!1!11!!!1!! more at 9

"everyone knows that only pervs wear hats" himiko: 😐

she wants drugs

THERE we go now we can go see kork

gonna be honest sometimes I forget his name is Korekiyo and not just Kork

bro I don't think your teeth fell out they're definitely right there (also you can't... have... fingernails...)

monokid rager voice line count: 3

"walls are erected" 😳

the wall can be demolished just you wait

ah yes the exisals somehow have wives and kids

you can slap yourself Kaede but don't slap one of my comfort characters. that is a crime against humanity

space idiot time

"not just anyone can get up there" I can /j

here are the monoshits again

BRO PISSES IN THE SHOWER I know it happens it just gets me every time

BRO SHITS IN THE SHOWER again it gets me every time

hello mom aka basically just 2B from Nier (or so I've heard idk I have never played Nier)

time to meet our next autism creature

wonder what this guy's name is

found him right away! after 10 years

last one

im still pissed that instead of keeping it as a generic god so it doesn't offend any religion, they chose to make angie's god the real fucking Polynesian gods

angie still cute though <3

time to go gym lol

im like a cat with the zoomies

another reference thank you blueberry smoothie

honestly??? kokichi so fucking silly I love him (if you somehow couldn't tell)

i think it might be a killing game not sure tho

i will crush you guys with this here exisal

jabroni

hello motherfucker- I mean monokuma

"im not mad" he says firing a fucking lazer

yoooo they said despair

the songs in this game >>>>>

yeaaaaa rock paper scissors

imagine if monokuma ate monophanie

murder very sophisticated

yo the monokuma tongue sprite weird as hell

the rager voice line count is 4

nvm it's 5

*laughs to death*

honestly this is tiring me out but I gotta complete the prologue!!!

"a lie... more like fiction..." that's bc it is lmfaooooooooooo

the first character to attempt a murder talking about how they won't kill is so funny to me

damn they laughing

yes I know what game this is

prologue over guys we can go home now

#star's liveblogs #Danganronpa liveblog

[pxtriotisms]

MUN TIME

NAME.  Jenna but I like Breadie or Boyd

STAR SIGN.  

Aries

HEIGHT. 

5′5″

WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Uhhhh noooo

PUT YOUR SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?  

Native Puppy love | A Drop of Nelsons Blood | Everybody Walking this Land | Ирорвёмся! | Let Me Down Easy | Look at This ( tribe called red )

Almost all were tribe called red I had to skip some oops 

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? 

No and I hope it stays that way - i will die i am not kidding i will die if someone ever did and not come back

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR? 

Never omg

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH? 

I don’t know any celebs!!! But uh hh hhhhh 

I like the mom lady from US. She itches my lesbian brain real good i am a milf appreciator 

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE; SOUND YOU LOVE?  

Those heart monitors will make me burst out into tears on a bad day. In fact, I have a sound sensitivity and get overwhelmed by it a lot so there’s not many sounds I do like. Maybe fizzles- OR POP ROCK SOUNDS

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?  

I don’t fuck with ghosts

HOW ABOUT ALIENS?  

y e s

DO YOU DRIVE? 

No I dont have 5 grand to drop on driving lessons 

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? 

no

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? 

Captive Prince but currently going through the Grand Fathers Teachings 

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? 

no f off

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? 

Bad Guys!

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? 

OKAY SO- a head injury. Im boring. I’m a cautious creature 

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW? 

Cookie,,,Run,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Wind Archer Cookie is everything i crave in life and I will die for him 

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? 

Yes and No. I remember and while I don’t get angry anymore I don’t welcome the same people back into my life. I learned something and when someone tells you who they are it’s best to listen 

IN A RELATIONSHIP? 

No, but hello ladies 

tagged by: idk i kept seeing people do this and wanted to!!

#BREAD. mun speaks #i never do these anymore but!!! #yall made them look fun

[fleshblueberry]

Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

[prismhibiscusrosemary]

the owl house characters described by my friend @thelostbiscuits who has never seen toh(all this was over text and i copied it word for word btw): the bold is me noting significant things in the conversation

luz: enby lesbian uhhh theyre probably assertive, confident, painfully gay, lives off of strawberry uncrustables and peace tea they’re nice tho

king: what is the dog doinnn he and enby lesbian are friends, he's comedic relief, pretty chill eda: you thought you could just show me catras grandma and get away with it catra but shes old and tired? willow: she is baby, she isnt that smart but she tries and we love her- very nice :)) she cares about people

gus: he's friends with glasses chick(willow), he also cares a lot but he gets into a lot of trouble amity: oh i know her too because your gay ass reblogs all their ship art shes gay for enby lesbian (lmao they aren’t wrong). she's tough but like you get to know her and shes not that tough? tsundere but not anime lol. OH i feel like shes like pearl from su a little bit lilith: okay first of all im in love with them. she's serious- basically a trad goth girl from the 90s, chill but takes no bs viney: hmMMmMmmm mom vibes, probably gives really good advice. i cant think of much else for her ooP- she looks exactly like my stepmom sjhdfh- jerbo: he reminds me of greg heffley but idk are hints allowed HDJKD- (i gave them the hint of “plants vs zombies” at this point lol) hmmmmmmm i feel like he's a closeted bi. just gives off those vibes, also kind of a nerd? he might be really smart. he might also just be a straight guy that im looking too deep into the soul of i cant tell barcus: what is the dog doingggg (i told them he’s a witch on the boiling isles hoping it’d clear it up a bit and it kinda worked) prophet cat hyena dog,,,,, im thinking he's pretty wise is he friends with blue haired bisexual queen(lilith)? i feel like he might be (i told them he’s friends with jerbo and viney) oh i see that! wait are they siblings?? (i said no they’re classmates) and they were classmates edric: bro he has to be related to blue haired queen(lilith) uhhhh just judging on the face smug as all hell. annoying but we love him anyways emira: why the fuck do they all look related uhhHhhHHHHhh (i told them that ed and em are siblings) she's giving me very much older sister vibes (which she probably is older than teal haired boy(edric)), confident, has her shit together (i told them ed and em are twins) hmmm she might be mischevious too but a little less so than the dude

boscha: evil >:D she's kind of like the one princessy villain from the power puff girls, maybe kind of pretentious, the others really do try to be her friend tho hooty: HAH- how do i even judge him hes just. he. uhhhhhh he baby honestly, i love him a lot principal bump: god that man is so fucking dusty uHHHhHHHhh salad fingers but a man- "i cRaVe rUsTy sPoOns". he's staring into my soul im sorry i can't rate him ive been stunned to my core (it was at this point that i lost my shit and started cackling into my pillow) look at his fucking finger omg emperor belos: “👁👁” as a,,,, being?????? what is it?????????and like,, theyre super mysterious. i love how we started off with like soft characters and we've descended into purgatory with salad fingers and the grim reaper

mattholomule: oh cool neville longbottom uhhhhh he is also dusty, you wouldnt know him but he kind of reminds me of upchuck from daria(for context i haven’t watched daria). i dont trust him he looks like he would steal my money. the hair is what gave me neville (i told them i thought they’d say he looked like a child drug dealer) HE DOES LMAOOOO- kikimora: oh look its me we are soul siblings i relate uhhhh theyre like a little rat but not in a bad way,,, scuttle-y and kind of quiet warden wrath: WHAT THE HELL DUDE,,,,,,,, LMAOOO NOT A WHOLE ASS PLAGUE DOCTOR THAT COULD FIT INTO A HORROR MOVIE how do i eVEN RATE H- i cant even s e e them,,, what do they even do does he even go here? OH he works for grim reaper guy (i confirmed this) does he kill people for him that would be cool (i told them he does occasionally and that he runs a prison) wow i-

tibbles: he's a merchant :)) pretty good salesman HE'S A CAPITALIST PIG HAHA  but yeah he's good at his job and nice owlbert: The Owl Of The House.he is small but he knows things, many things (i asked if that was it) ,,,, yes he has seen many tragedies

the bat queen: WHAT THE HELL IS THAAAAT (i legit just said “the bat queen”) NO FUCKING WAY THIS IS THE SAME DAMN SHOW LMAOOOOO evil ass goth humpty dumpty she would kick your ass and that concludes @thelostbiscuits‘s summary of the owl house lmao

[rynhaswritersblock]

wish i were heather | p.p.

a/n: GUYS I AM ON A WRITING ROLL TODAY WOWOWOWOW this one is based off of ‘heather’ by conan gray!!! ALSO THE LYRICS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BOLDED AND ITALICIZED BUT TUMBLR IS BEING MEAN AND ITS NOT WORKING IDK IM SORRY!!

summary: a relationship that never happened and the wrong one that did. 

warnings: angst, i cut some of the lyrics for story flow lol

+ + +

i still remember third of december me in your sweater you said it looked better on me than it did you only if you knew how much i liked you

“you look cold.”

“i’m fine, pete,” you shake your head. as a matter of fact, you are cold. you’re freezing. you just hate when peter worries too much about you.

he shrugs off his hoodie, stopping in front of you and gently guiding it onto your body, tongue between his lips as he focuses on wiggling your arms through the sleeves as to not mess up your shirt. “there!”

now you’re burning up, and not because of the new warmth. it smells like cologne and apple cider from the cafe you and peter just went to. it smells like central park, where you’re walking through the snowy trees. it smells like peter. you smile. “thank you, peter.”

“‘course,” he quips, lacing his fingers through yours. this is what best friends, do, right? “you can keep it, you know.”

“really?”

he smiles at you. “it looks better on you than it does on me.”

but i watch your eyes, as she walks by what a sight for sore eyes brighter than a blue sky she's got you mesmerized while i die

you still have the sweatshirt. it’s hanging in your closet, barely retaining the scent of over half a year ago and what could’ve been. you watch as peter and ned stare at liz as she hangs up a homecoming poster across the cafeteria. 

“did liz get a new top?” peter asks. 

no, but i did, you think. 

“no. we’ve seen that before, but never with that skirt.”

“we should stop staring before it gets creepy, though.” peter’s words are slightly muffled as he rests his chin on his hand, looking mesmerized. he used to look at me like that. 

mj pitches in. “too late. you guys are losers.”

yeah, you think. i am.

why would you ever kiss me? i'm not even half, as pretty you gave her your sweater it's just polyester, but you like her better wish i were heather

you stand with ned and mj, mere feet away from peter and liz as they sway together. peter’s jacket is draped around her shoulders as they lean in, lips connecting like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly. 

you used to be the other piece. yours fit perfectly with peter’s. you just never did anything about it. 

mj nudges at you. “dude, stop staring at them. this is getting creepy.”

your breath hitches and you turn, clearing your throat. “oh, no i was just, uh, looking at, um... flash. yeah.”

“mhmm.”

watch as she stands with her holding your hand put your arm 'round her shoulder now i'm getting colder

the sound of your locker slamming shut fills the hallway and you flinch. oops. 

you couldn’t help it. pure, unadulterated jealously courses through your veins as you watch peter and liz walk down the hallway, smiling, his arm wrapped around her in the same way he would wrap that same arm around you. she’s got that hoodie on, the same one that peter gave to you. 

he asked for it back a week ago.

you shiver, standing alone in the crowded hallway, lacking a hoodie that smells like the boy who would take you to cafes and hold your hand but never kissed you.

but how could i hate her? she's such an angel but then again, kinda wish she were dead

“hey, guys!” liz smiles. she and peter reach the group, smiles on their faces and hands intertwined. your stomach churns with bile. 

everyone talks and you stand there, wishing you’d never said yes to this godforsaken group date. peter has liz, ned has betty, and you and mj are pretending to be lesbians for the night (”not that i wouldn’t date you,” mj assures you, “i just wouldn’t have sex with you.”).

you all get to the bowling alley, finding your alley and getting all set up. within minutes, you’re all yelling excitedly as ned winds up to roll the ball. 

“shit!” ned yells, watching as the bowling ball misses every last cone. 

betty comforts him with a sweet smile, laughing slightly. ned's gotten really into the competition you’re having.

peter goes next, and liz is standing beside you as you watch. you bite back every ugly emotion that taints your insides and decide you’re gonna be a good person today. for peter. “so, how’s it going with you two?”

“oh,” liz laughs. “it’s really great. peter’s so sweet and caring. a good kisser, too. we also do a lot of study dates and go on walks and stuff like that, so it’s really nice.”

just like how we used to, minus the kissing. 

“that’s good,” you nod, chewing on your lip. it is good, right?

“yeah. how are you doing? anyone you want me to set you up with?” liz asks, smiling suggestively. 

you laugh. she’s really not that bad. if anything, she’s an angel. you don’t blame peter for falling in love with her. 

why would you ever kiss me? i'm not even half as pretty you gave her your sweater it's just polyester, but you like her better

it’s been three years, now. sophomore year of college.

drinks are passed between all of you as you gather on the rooftop of peter and liz’s apartment building, fairy lights and decorative pillows everywhere. it’s nearing the end of the night, and you’re tipsy and ready to go home. peter clears his throat to get everyone’s attention. 

in the blink of an eye, he’s on one knee, eyes sparkling as he pours his heart and soul out into the air. a box appears, bearing a diamond ring so shiny that it reflects the lights hanging around you.

it’s for her. 

you can’t breathe, vision getting blurry as peter happily slips the ring onto liz’s finger, connecting their lips in a beautiful, passionate kiss.

everyone claps and stands, going to congratulate the two. your eyes meet peter’s and you smile at him, giving him a hollow hug as you congratulate him and halfheartedly gush over the ring to liz. when you turn away, tipping your head back as you take a large swig of your drink, the mix of alcohol and bile burns your throat. a tear slips down your cheek, unnoticed. 

wish i were...

+ + +

thank u genius.com for da lyrics oo yea

also yes i did say ace mj rights today (if i incorrectly portrayed asexuals please lmk and tell me how to correct it !!)

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagine #tom holland imagine #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #marvel #mcu #imagine #imagines #writing #secret dating #caught #peter #parker #thomas holland #liz allan #liz #peter and liz #liz and peter #heartbreak #angst #wish i were heather #heather #conan gray

[sapphicambitions]

So, a while ago, you identified as bi but you've now realized you are a lesbian. What made you realize that?

ahhh this is an excellent question! thank you!

short answer is i had to work through my internalized homophobia and compulsory heteronormativity before i could accept myself.

so around my sophomore year of college i realized i was attracted to women and it lowkey freaked me out. i was like “yeah i like women but im DEF going to end up with a man because i have to because that’s how i was raised so i’ll call myself bi and forget about the whole thing” and like kind of swept the issue under the rug because it didn’t matter if I liked women or not I was gonna end up with a man. fast forward a year or so and through some really terrible dating experiences and to the end of my junior year of college. 

long story short there was a girl i was best friends with and we stopped being best friends and it made furious and I was angry all the time that we were no longer friends yada yada (if you’ve seen She-Ra, I was Catra.) and one night I was super drunk and i uhhhhhhh hooked up with her ex boyfriend (oops). and there was LITERALLY a moment while I was kissing him that I was like “he’s terrible at this. i wish he was a girl.” and then i kind of like froze and I was like “oh my god im a lesbian” (while making out with him) and I was like “oh my god i wish i was kissing HER instead” and then like a week later I saw Love, Simon in theatres and I sobbed my eyes out in the theatres because I knew I was gay and didn’t know how to handle it

and so im like freaking out and unsure about everything because I was like “I think i might be a lesbian but what if I dont WANT to be a lesbian because im supposed to end up with a guy!!!” and that summer I did summer stock in Oberlin, Ohio, where Alison Bechdel went to college. And for the first time in my life i was deeply surrounded by queer people. One of my best friends from college is bi and was instrumental in my realizing of my sexuality (Sup, Kara) but my college was mostly filled with straight people. In Oberlin I was SURROUNDED by queer people who were confident in themselves and I made a lot of really great friends who helped me find myself. I also dove into queer culture: movies, tv shows, books, yada yada the works. That was the summer I learned about comp het. and I was like iM A LESBIAN! 

for like. three weeks.

and then i panicked again and said I was bisexual and shoved the issue under the rug. (I had a bit of a rocky road to accepting myself lmao)

so for a few more months I allowed myself to truly get comfortable with the idea of being a lesbian and being gay and on October 14th, 2018, I was out at a bar with the cast of the show I was working on and honestly, i dont remember a lot of the details because I was SUPER drunk that night but I was talking with another girl about sexuality and I remember being like “I really WANT to be a lesbian but I just dont know that i am” and she was like “if you want to be a lesbian, you’re a lesbian. you dont need anyone’s permission to be who you are” or some shit like that. idk. the details are fuzzy. and i was like “oh my god I’m a LESBIAN” and i even went home that night and posted to tumblr “so i might be a lesbian” lmao

the next day i went to the library and checked out two books on sappho and three books on lesbianism and read them all.

Three days later I called my parents and told them.

and I started living my life openly to my friends and people in my immediate area. My extended family didn’t know until i came out to my grandmother on thanksgiving of 2019. My brothers didn’t find out until March 2020. I came out on facebook in April 2020. It was a gradual process. but now I’m fully out!

So really, when you look back at my whole life, there were MANY signals that I was a big ole lesbian (like getting it on with a guy and thinking “I don’t know what I’m doing with his body. maybe if it was a girl I would know what I was doing” and that was BEFORE the ex best friend ex boyfriend incident) but I was too scared to admit them. I had to take my own journey and work through a lot of internal stuff before I could admit what I already knew in my heart. 

#lesbianlaynie #thank you for the excellent question #laynie rose answers

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom Ch.4

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

    The man turns to look at you. “The fuck? Why’re you in the men’s room?” He says, slurring his words a bit, and putting up a hand to brace his weight against the nearest wall. He fucking reeks of liquor that you can smell from here, and his hair is slightly disheveled.

“I’m not in the men's room. You're in the ladies' room," You say, boldly. You feel the alcohol you’ve consumed making its way to your head, and the words flow out of your mouth freely. "And if you don't mind, I'll be leaving." You move to step past him and towards the door. As soon as your fingertips brush the door handle though, a hand shoots out and grabs you by the wrist, stopping you. You freeze.

"You are such a rude bitch, you know that?" He says, pushing himself away from the wall and facing his body towards you. You try and pull your arm away from him, but his grip is tight. What the fuck? You're going to snap this bastard's neck.

"Let go of my arm." You say, livid. You can see his eyes boring into you. He looks down at your collarbone and breasts, his eyes moving all over any patch of bare skin you just happen to be showing tonight. You feel exposed in the worst way possible. Trying to move your arm out of his grip again, you feel his fingers tighten ever so slightly.

"Girls like you, you think you can just get whatever you want by dressing like that and going to a bar," He says, spitting a little and glaring at you. 

"I'm not TRYING to do anything, let my arm go you bastard-" you get cut off as he tugs you forward, he's now only inches from your face and the smell of musty cigarettes and shitty vodka hits your senses. It's utterly revolting, and you hold back gagging visibly. You hear noise coming from outside the bathroom.

"You are taking an awwwfully long time in there, Y/N.” You hear Spinel say from behind you as she’s opening the door. She audibly stops. “What the fuck is going on here?” 

    Before you can even attempt to comprehend what is going on, you hear an extremely loud THUD on the opposite side of the bathroom and you feel as though you are launched several feet forward. You feel yourself squished against something and open your eyes to see something shiny. Spinel is holding you against herself, a single arm wrapped around you. Her other arm is comically stretched out and her fist is huge, holding your harasser against the now damaged wall. 

"You think you can just waltz right into the ladies room? Here? In this bar? You're stupider than ya’ look." She says, and tightens her grip around you. Ohhh my god, you’re such a useless lesbian, because you can feel her breast pressed against your arm and you’re trying SO HARD to not have an internal meltdown right now. You steel your face and try your best to dull your heart beats, because they’re currently Very Loud. Fuck. You hear the man whimper. “I thought I told ya to Leave. My. Friend. Alone.” She enunciates each word clearly, and angrily.

“Look, I don’t want no trouble..” You can hear him say, barely.

“You don’t want ‘no’ trouble?” She says, openly mocking him. “Shoulda thought about that before you came in here!” You hear the door slam open again, and can make out two pairs of feet running in.

“Spinel! We heard a loud noise! You guys okay??” Bismuth rushes over to the two of you, looking very concerned. She notices you in Spinel’s arms, and then the man Spinel is currently holding against the wall. “What happened!?” Lapis is standing next to Bismuth with her hands on her hips, and she looks pissed about the wall damage. Oops.

“This guy here,” Spinel shakes him a bit, and some of the wall crumbles around him onto the floor. You are trying and failing at not looking at Spinel’s gem. It glimmers every time she moves, and it sits perfectly right in between-. You look away before anyone catches you. “Came into the ladies room to harass a girl alone. I stopped him.” 

“Y/N? You okay?” Bismuth asks.

“Yeah. Was just surprised.” You say, like you’re not a complete disaster. 

“I’m just glad no one got hurt.” Bismuth says, and starts walking over to the trapped man. She nods to Spinel, who then slowly lets the man drop into Bismuth’s hold. She lifts him up by his armpits.. kind of like a child. You hold back a laugh. Bismuth holds him out in front of her, and squints at him. “And you.. You sir, broke like, 4 house rules. I’m gonna have to make you leave.” She makes her way over to the door with the man in tow, flopping him over her shoulder. Lapis turns to glare at the wall (and all of its damage), and then at Spinel, and turns to leave.

"We'll talk about this later." Is all she says, as the door closes behind her. 

    It is now so quiet in here that you could hear a pin drop. Spinel is still holding you, and you can hear her breathing ever so softly. “U-um,” You attempt to find your voice.

“Oh! Whoops,” She quickly drops her arm from holding you, and visibly deflates a little in relief. “I was so caught up that I..” She trails off, and her gaze makes its way over to your face. Her pink irises find yours. “I’m just glad you’re actually okay.”

“Me too.” You say, rubbing the side of your arm absentmindedly, still feeling a bit warm where she was touching you. Spinel notices your arm movement.

“Did I hurt you just then? I’m so sorry, I-”

“No, I’m fine.” You cut her off. “Still trying to wrap my mind around all of that. It just happened all so quickly.” You lie. You’ve dealt with worse men, in worse situations. This wasn’t something you couldn’t have handled yourself, if it got to that. She just didn’t need to know that you were having an internal gay crisis over being manhandled by a pretty girl. Alien. Whatever. “And thank you. For saving me, I mean. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come in, just then. Seriously, his breath smelled so bad.” You give her a warm, earnest smile. “I would have done that for anyone, and besides,” You watch her cheeks turn pink as she shrugs. “Someone else was trying to talk to me while you were gone, and I wasn’t really feeling it, and you were taking forever..” She crosses her arms over her chest, angling her face away from you. Is she trying to hide the fact that she’s blushing? Holy shit she’s so cute. You find yourself embarrassed to admit that you’re completely enthralled with this pink alien. In a bathroom.

    Story of your life really.

“So.. you came in here because you missed me?” You say, grinning, and wink at her.

“No! Not at all.” She denies a little too quickly. You suddenly want to make a hobby out of teasing her. “A-anyway, let’s just go back out if you’re finished in here?” You take a moment to look around at the bathroom. It’s destroyed. They will have to re-tile that entire wall.

“Yeah, I’m done here anyway.” You say as you move past Spinel towards the door. You grab the brass handle and pull open the door, holding it for Spinel to come out of the bathroom as well. 

    Outside, the entirety of the bar is still pretty lively. A few people have left as it’s nearing 11, but there’s a good 40-50 people still around. You see a rowdy group of young women laughing and swatting each other playfully while they watch a handsome blond man play a ballad. There’s quite a few spaces open up now at the counter. You don’t see Bismuth there, though. You look around and spot her at the entrance, talking to Lapis and the bouncer. Probably making sure that guy never comes in again, you think. You make your way back over to your previous spot, and Spinel follows you. Once the both of you sit down, you pull out your phone, and open up the right application.

“I hope your beer is still cold.” Spinel says to you as you swipe past a couple messages, getting to the bottom of the group chat.

“It better still be.” You take a swig, and make a face. It’s.. drinkable, you guess. “Also, it’s cider, not beer. I can’t for the life of me stand the taste of beer, it always tastes like shit. Don’t even get me started on IPAs.” You reply to your friends without reading half of the stupid shit they must’ve said while you weren’t paying them any attention.

    Y/N: I was attacked in the bathroom. Wild day, I know.

    Alex: it fucking serves him right to be honest

    Alex: lil bastard had it coming

    Alex: so now my brother cant look at sonic the same ever again

    Alex: w

    Alex: awrfawefaffasdfa

    Alex: WHAT

    Harper: What!? Are you okay????

    Alex: the fucking alien!!!!!!!! i knew it!!!!!

    Alex: she fucking attacked u in the bathroom when u were alone!!

    Alex: she saw her window of opportunity

    Alex: and POUNCED

    Alex: im sorry that ur dead now

    Y/N: I’m fine. The “alien” was actually the one that saved me.

    Y/N: And her name’s Spinel, you shitlord. Have some class.

    Alex: no

    Alex: and make me

    Harper: can’t tell him to have what he’ll never grasp. ;)

    Harper: i’m glad you’re okay though. <3

    Harper: what exactly happened?

    Alex: fuck you

    Harper: no thanks. i know im bi, but even i have standards.

    Y/N: There was this guy that harassed me over drinks earlier, right?

    Y/N: Spinel actually told him off after he wouldn’t leave me alone the first time.

    Y/N: And then, when I went to the bathroom, he came IN.

    Y/N: He literally fucking grabbed my arm ya’ll I was mad af. The audacity.

    Y/N: So then Spinel comes in and punches him against the wall??

    Y/N: Like she killed the wall. Guy was fine. They kicked him out.

    Alex: damn

    Harper: i’m glad she was there to save your ass since i couldn’t be.

    Harper: and what did we learn today Y/N???

    Harper: you go out with US and not ALONE.

    Y/N: Bitch you left me to be across the country for summer. I have new friends now.

    Alex: oh so im chopped liver now huh

    Alex: one sexy murderous alien saves u and now ur too good for us

    Alex: im telling ur fuckin dad

    Y/N: NO.

    Y/N: YOU WOULDN’T.

    Alex: tee hee

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever had whisky.” She replies, taking a drink. You set your phone down for a second.

“I’d offer for you to try mine, but this isn’t in ideal shape.” She raises one of her eyebrows. “It’s a bit warm.” You look at the bottle with slight disdain. “And this isn’t even a great one, regardless. There’s a few better tasting, actually.. you should try those sometime.” “With you?” She says with a questioning look on her face.

“I, um.” You look at her. “I was going to give you a list of suggestions, but if you wanted to drink with me again, we could do that too.” You say as you wiggle your eyebrows at her. She flushes red immediately.

“I wasn’t trying to impose, I just thought-”

“I’m just teasing. But.. if you do want a friend to drink with, I’m all yours.” You say, leaning on your left hand that's on the counter. “It’s not like I’m busy aside from work, anyway.” She’s staring at you with an expression you’re unfamiliar with, which is either longing, or concern. 

“I might take you up on that offer. I don’t have any human friends aside from Steven, and he’s only half.”

“And upon your general pool of human specimens, I’m your best choice?” You say and laugh. She gives you an exhausted look, which makes you laugh even more. “You got a phone?” You ask her, and take another sip. She reaches behind herself and pulls her phone out of her back pocket. 

“Steven gave me his old one a few weeks ago, I just don’t use it much.” You nod and take the phone from her hand. She doesn’t notice that you make sure your hand touches hers on purpose. You tap her phone open, and go to her contacts. And maybe, just MAYBE, you add a heart next to your name cheekily when you add it to her contacts. You text yourself a quick :).

“I added myself to your contacts. You should text me sometime. I also have your number now, too.” You hand her phone back to her. You grab your phone off the counter and the words “her smexy alien” are displayed on the lockscreen. You swiftly turn the screen back off, and down the rest of your nasty ass drink. Fucking christ, why are your friends like this.

“Hey. Spinel.” You turn to the voice in front of you. It’s Lapis. Her full attention was on the gem next to you.

“Yes?” Spinel says. She also downs the rest of her drink.

“You gonna pay for that wall, or what?” Lapis asks, leaning on the counter. She seems tired.

“I did do the damage, so I will, but I seriously think you should try to make that guy pay for this.” Spinel sighs. Lapis considers her for a second.

“We’ll see.” She says, and shrugs. She looks at you. “You want another one of those?” “Yes please.” You say. This will be your last, you think. It’s late. She opens the bottle for you, and swaps it with the empty one in front of you. 

“Yes, I will also take another one.” Spinel says to Lapis.

“I wasn’t going to ask you,” Lapis replies, and Spinel gives her a comically grave expression. “But since you insist, I guess I just might.” She smiles a little. She grabs a new glass, sets it on the counter, and plunks an ice cube into it. Then she grabs a brown bottle behind her, and pours Spinel another drink. She winks at Spinel as she grabs for the used glass. She walks away to a further sink, and starts helping a couple of other patrons who look like they’re about to head out.

“Sometimes, I don’t get her, but for the most part I like her. We both have problems.” Spinel says while watching Lapis from across the bar. She takes a long drink. You think fuck it, and do the same. 

“She reminds me of my cat, if I’m going to be honest.” You say, “Kind of moody, but still wants you to know that it’s there, and it exists.” 

“What’s a cat?” Spinel asks innocently. Your jaw drops.

"You don’t know what a cat is!?” You say, almost offended. You unlock your phone and go to your gallery, searching for your cat pics. You find one of the more recent ones of Jellybean, enlarge it, and show it to the gem. “This is Jellybean. She’s fluffy, stupid, and almost set herself on fire last week, true story.” Spinel eyes your phone screen.

“Oh, those things! I’ve seen them a few times, but they never let me near them.” She says, maybe a bit mournfully. “They look soft.” 

“They are.” You grin. “I should let you meet her sometime. She loves people. She’ll drool on your shoes though, so be careful. She’s a total weirdo.” Spinel looks at you like she’d actually love that. You feel like maybe you underestimated how alcohol would hit you tonight, because you feel it coming to you very quickly.

“I’d love to meet her. I don’t get out much, honestly. I’m still trying to find a balance in my daily life. Steven’s worried that I’ll.. I don’t know.” She shrugs, swirling the drink in her glass. Bismuth walks over to the two of you, grabbing several used glasses on the way and dropping them into a nearby sink.

“Y/N, I’m sorry about what happened to you earlier. Stuff like that never really happens here.” She says to you while making herself busy wiping down the counter. “And Spinel, seriously. Thanks for stepping in.” Spinel gives a noncommittal grunt in reply.

“Bis, if I were even as half as beefy as you are, that wouldn’t have been a problem. I’d dare him, actually.” You say, and finish your drink. You regret it a little, but Papa didn’t raise no quitter and you’ll learn your life lessons eventually. In the meantime, you just feel pleasantly drunk.

“Aw, shucks, Y/N. You’re so kind.” She chuckles and flexes a little. “I have enough muscle for the both of us.” She wipes down Spinel’s side of the counter, and takes the cash handed to her by the couple next to the two of you as they get up to leave.

“Ughhhhh.” Spinel says, slouching on her stool. “I need to walk home soon.. ‘gotta long day tomorrow.”

“You live close?” You ask her.

“Kind of. It’s on the opposite side of little homeworld, and a nearly 30 minute walk.”

“Are you sure you’re sober enough to make it all the way home by yourself?” You grin, teasing her. “You’re not gonna get like, 10 minutes into the walk home and pass out in a bush somewhere?” “No, I’m fine. I should be good enough for the walk.” She says while giving you a half-baked glare, and attempts to get up from her stool, albeit very wobbly. She stumbles a bit.

“Well, I was going to head out soon too.” You say, nodding at Bismuth that you’re ready to pay your tab. She makes her way over to you once she hands back the couple’s change to them.

“You guys good?” She asks. You nod in response.

“Yeah, gonna call it a night though,” you grab your card out of your wallet, and feel a little generous. Maybe a bit ballsy, too. You hand it over to Bismuth, who takes it. “For both tabs, please.” Spinel looks absolutely admonished and is about to argue, so you cut her off. “It’s thanks for earlier. Don’t argue with me.” She shuts her mouth promptly, and Bismuth laughs.

“I like that you two get along well. Warms my heart.” She says, looking at the two of you while working the register. She hands you back your card and the receipt slip.

“Oh, shut up.” Spinel glares. Bismuth just laughs at her and walks away. You put your things back into your bag, and regard Spinel. “Well, I’m off. You should message me soon, and we could hang out.” You say, and turn to move when Spinel takes a single step forward, and slips onto the floor with a loud crash. You look at her, and cannot help laughing.

“OW.” She exasperatedly sighs. You lean down and give her your hand, which she stares at for a second longer than necessary, and then grabs to pull herself up with. 

“Drunker than you thought, huh.” You say, giving her a smug look. You’re drunk yourself, but at least you know what you’re all about.

“Maybe,” She says, dusting off her pants and straightening herself back out. “Maybe I shouldn’t have ordered that last drink.” You still feel ballsy, and maybe a little courageous when you have a particular thought that you verbalize before actually considering in your mind. “Wanna come home with me?” You blurt out. She stares at you blankly for a second, and then her entire face flushes. “Not like that,” You quickly backpedal. “My place is about 10 from here. You can crash on my couch? And meet my cat.”

“I’d love to meet your cat.” She’s smiling, and she looks eager. Or drunk.

“Alright, let’s go then.” You say before you can think any better of it. If your father or friends knew.. Oh my god, your father and friends CAN’T know. Your friends would laugh forever, and what would your dad think!? ‘Chill dad, it’s no biggie, just gonna show this ex-bloodthirsty gem our cat. except she’s cute and cool and nice now’ You give silent thanks to whatever gods are out there that your dad didn’t come home tonight.

    You both meander your way outside of the bar, where the air is still thick with heat and humidity. A slight breeze rolls by, but it isn’t enough to cool your skin where you have already started to feel yourself sweating. You like summer, but hate nights like this. You’re both walking side by side, passing by houses and businesses alike, when she stumbles on a sidewalk crack and nearly topples you over. You catch her by both arms to steady her, impressing even yourself.

“Thanks,” She says and pushes some of her fringe out of her eyes to look at you. “You know.. you’ve been really nice this entire night. Humans haven’t been particularly cruel to me, all things considered.. but I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.” You keep walking with her.

“Well, you didn’t murder me like my friends thought you would, so tonight’s not a total bust.” At that, she laughs very loudly and openly. It’s a nice sound.

    Maybe it’s the warm night, or the alcohol in the both of your systems, but the flush on her cheeks makes your heart feel as bright as the gem on her chest, sparkling in the streetlights.

#spinel #spinel x reader #spinel su #steven universe #fic #my fic #devils ballroom

[getallemeralds]

explorers of arvus: port draavos / 3.23.20

and now for something different: the misadventures of the hope’s guard

so for the past 3 years ive been in an ongoing dnd5e campaign run by michael called Explorers of Arvus, which is super cool and super fun and i love it a whole lot! and back when i used twitter, i’d liveblog our sessions and that ended up being my way of note taking bc im otherwise quite terrible at it

after i stopped using twitter, that had the side effect of me not keeping notes anymore, so i kind of didnt remember any of the past couple sessions? especially because its hard for all 6 of us to have like, schedules that make sense, so there’s a lot of distance between each session.

and then i realized i can just take notes shitpost-liveblog style and then just… like, put it on tumblr or whatever. i’ll probably make like, ill probably port over my old liveblog threads onto here sometime but until then: we played d&d today! Time For Shenanigans

some quick context: we’re called the Hope’s Guard, but our unofficial silly name is Chunch Bunch the Dungeon Master is Michael aka Skalter aka @openlyeight​ Taure M’ea is a half-elf paladin played by Penn aka @penn-name​ and she is doing her best. Sieron Astora is a human (secretly half-orc) wizard played by Jorb aka @jorbs-palace​ and he’s basically the protagonist, and also starting to be gay for Charlie Charlie Wickfield is a halfling wild magic sorcerer played by Leos aka us and she’s known for being very chaotic, lighting things on fire, and having a high charisma score but no idea how to articulate anything Thorne is a half-orc warlock played by Solar aka @craftlands​ and he grew up in nonsense land aka the feywild and i love him, and also he’s fine-tuned to be able to snipe the shit out of anything within a 600 ft radius of him w/ eldritch blast Silje Cottonwood is a tabaxi blood hunter played by Nyx aka @patheticnyas​ and he is very edgy but also a cat and is VERY gay for Thorne our general goal is to stop some motherfucker called Halvkar / the God-King from… i dunno, being a huge bitch? he dumped zombies all over Arvus and that’s a problem. its late at night and i just played d&d for several hours

AND SO: WE PLAYED D&D FOR THE FIRST TIME OF THE DECADE

last time:

chunch bunch beat up the cult and now we’re FINALLY GOING TO ARVUS, YALL (also we picked up a cat) (his name is silly. its silje but literally pronounced like “silly”) sieron hatched a child! so like, we have a lil coatl friend now OH RIGHT SIERON HAS A MOM. sierons mom is here charlie and sieron attempted to have a gay scene but charlie went off script by being “[internal dial up noises]” when sieron said something really heartwarming we’re in fort draavos! and now we’re picking up sidequests and just kinda wanderin around. woo!

NOW, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS:

thorne and charlie discuss the morals of necromancy, and also the concept of “[charlie voice] necromancy racism”

EVERYONE IS BONDING WITH CHARLIE TODAY taure gave charlie the rune of wound closure and told her to stay safe and im :keralisweep:

accidentally started a cutscene bc charlie is very loud in a temple, oop. some priests(?) glared at us and walked off and im sure they wont stab us later! ingrid the adorkable friend has been having reoccuring nightmares about a dark figure w/ black robes standing above a bleeding platform high in the air over a swamp and summoning undead, so we’re gonna go hit that up! it MIGHT be like, a vision of the past, but even if so thats still pretty relevant also there’s a cool half orc lady named undril silvertusk who we’re gonna escort to camp vengeance! she’s awesome

thorne: i was in a dungeon once charlie: you got better! thorne: [points] i DID get better!

summer: can i roll to steal the laser gun? michael: if you find the dragon, you can try to steal the laser gun.

solar: guys, we have to protect the lesbians at all costs. and if one of them turns out to be an ancient gold dragon and curses my dick, then so be it

taure: dont worry, i wont let you die. ingrid: …okay :D!

THE HOT SPRINGS EPISODE IS FINALLY HAPPEN sorry thorne. charlie dabbed at a buff tiefling charlie is too fucking short for the hot springs. also she’s like 50% hair so she is Dying

time for food! we ran into an adventuring party that is apparently based off one michael was part of in another campaign, and i think the buff tiefling is his? also taure ordered samples of everything and then got Super plastered

thorne rolled really good to infodump hardcore about arvus artifacts and it is cute and id die for him oop michael asked for all our passive perception

omg theres an introduction of a ~mysterious character~ and originally theyre supposed to just sneak off but then michael realized they’d be genuinely interested in thorne’s infodumping so now theyre just Lurking

the opposite of a slow burn is a fast explosion

[everyone gets distracted quoting realtime fandub]

oops taure is depressed! ALSO SHE BROKE UP WITH SIGRA??? charlie is VERY bad at emotional support so she’s just “uhhhhhhhhh”, but thankfully thorne catches her before she faceplants into her potatoes CAN ANY OF US CARRY TAURE??? SHE’S IN FULL ARMOUR AND ALSO PASSED OUT

michael: what do you do with the bottle? summer: eat it

charlie get haircut! WITH SWORDS. her hair is now like midway down her back so its like, a bit shorter than when she first met everybody silje: do you want this [the hair he cut off]? charlie: UH WHAT WOULD I .. DO WITH IT… silje: …make a rope? charlie: yknow what i might as fucking well, who knows if id need spare hair

penn: i dont think taure is horny tho! summer: ITS OK, SILJE IS HORNY ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US

michael: Sieron, Str of 10- action hero Thorne, str of 14- twink nyx: silly, str of 13- cat solar: i guess thorne is a hunk. michael: thorne is a twunk summer: the t in thorne stands for twunk

taure, extremely drunk and sad: CHARLIE IM SORRY I MADE YOU BURN DOWN THAT LIBRARY (sieron and thorne carried her to bed and she ended up apologising a whole lot about literally everything)

jorb/sieron wants to know if charlie’s hair has any lingering wild magic nonsense!

thorne’s staring out the window! and also discord kept censoring solar when they were trying to say that THIS ENTIRE AREA IS WITHIN THORNE’S RANGE. solar: i could shoot someone at the thundering boar tavern [from our tavern] jorb: [as thorne] WRONG TAVERN, IDIOT!

solar called soldier:76 a cornfucker and it blindsided me so hard

michael: silje cottonwood, dark edgy blood hunter. [flops over on camera] NOTICE MEEEEEEEE

WE’RE NOW MAKING NONSTOP FORT DRAAVOS PUNS. i had to go clean pepper’s litter and when i came back they were STILL GOING

thorne pets silje on accident bc silje ws doing an anime squat on the balcony’s railing and is now having a crisis of “is it appropriate to pet the furry?” AND ALSO SILLY IS VERY SOFT

jorb & michael: [say something cursed] summer: [looking around frantically] I DONT HAVE AN IMPROVISED WEAPON solar: Allow Me. [brandishes baseball bat on camera]

#leo chirps #txt #summer.txt #dnd #explorers of arvus

[comradekatara]

The good place is kind of eh in practice but I really like the concept so.... gaang and fire lesbians reactions to a good place scenario?

upon being told they’re in the good place, katara, aang & suki are like, “oh, sweet,” ty lee and zuko are like, “what??? i am???” toph and mai are like, “oops i’m here by mistake,” sokka’s like, “theres. theres a points system. thats bullshit this is bullshit,” and azula’s just like *has a panic attack* 

everyone gets a soulmate!!!!! yay!!!!! katara, meet zuko. sokka, meet toph. mai, meet azula. ty lee, meet suki (this one backfires because they actually do fall in love). oh, and aang, since you’re a monk, you don’t have a soulmate i guess! but you don’t mind that, right? haha no, of course not! aang keeps having to pretend like he’s fine being the only one without a soulmate, and mai’s just like “oh u can have my soulmate if u want” and aang’s like “oh....no.......that’s okay........ but thanks” 

sokka is told that he’s about to meet his soulmate, and he’s like “ok this will be fun” because at this point he’s just decided to go along with it until ashton kutcher jumps out from behind a pot plant or smth. he doesn’t know whether he can trust toph yet, so when she says, “you’ll stand by me no matter what, right?” he’s like “oh of course.” and then she tells him she was sent here by mistake, and she doesn’t know what to do. he’s like, “who forking knows what to do right now this is. this is objectively insane, right????” and she’s like “well, objectively speaking, yes, but it’s also a bit presumptuous of you to assume that an afterlife that measured morality on a points basis didn’t exist just because it sounds silly as fuck when you say it out loud.” and he’s like. “no. we’re definitely being punk’d.” and she’s like “did you just say fork? lmao loser”

ty lee is all “but it doesn’t really make sense that i’m here” and suki’s like “why not? you’re nice and you smell good” and ty lee’s like “but i’m.....super sketchy.......... i’ve committed like......actual felonies???” and suki’s like “ok but who fucking cares tho” and ty lee’s like “ykw GREAT point” and then they kind of just take advantage of the fact that they’re in a magical truman show because that’s the kind of shit you do when you figure out what’s actually going on, duh. michael thinks they hate each other because every time he goes to check in on them they are literally fighting each other??? he’s like oh wait......is this maybe........too far??? but he doesn’t know what to do about that other than maybe recommend some couple’s therapy and they go for laughs and ty lee sobs dramatically and suki wails various bits and pieces of a made up backstory that gets more and more absurd and incongruous every week. 

mai and azula are perfect for each other! they have so much in common! for one thing, they both have no idea what the fuck they’re doing here. for another, they do not trust the other as far as they can throw them, and so they are both suffering silently and alone as they try to piece together why they’re here. they live right next door to toph and sokka, so they’re always running into each other, until eventually they are thrown into enough weirdly coincidental situations together that they just become friends. mai actually thinks toph is pretty cool. they kind of just get each other, yknow? what if there was, like, a mixup and.... *gasp* and then azula gets beaten in pai sho once and that’s all it takes for her to become obsessed with sokka and convinced that they are the real soulmates. sokka didn’t account for this happening because he assumed that pai sho is a meaningless game and nothing would happen if he won. he kicks himself for this later. 

mai and azula both agree to tell toph and sokka that there’s been a mistake, and they try to inform them of this theory as directly as possible. toph and sokka are like “what are you talking about?? the system would never do such a thing??? the system doesnt make mistakes!!!” and they even threaten to tell michael about this before mai and azula are like “ok ok !!! maybe we were wrong. just an idea” and sokka’s like “ok well maybe we shouldn’t be questioning this perfect world, how’s that for an idea. oh and im in love with toph” and mai and azula leave deeply heartbroken. sokka and toph are like “whew that was close” because there is no fucking way they are splitting up after they’ve spent who knows how long perfectly camouflaging under surveillance and pretending to be having sex while actually doing very long and complicated math and reading through everything every moral philosopher ever wrote up until the day they died and throwing out more and more implausible theories just for sokka to have to pretend to be attracted to azula. toph’s like “i kinda like mai tho” and sokka’s like “yeah mai’s chill” 

at first, zuko and katara get along great! they love doing dumb shit together that no one else they knew on earth ever found fun. they have such deep, profound conversations all the time. they’re always cuddling while watching movies and they’re like yeah we real cute. for the first time in both their lives they’re like, wow!! maybe soulmates are real!! all their friends are like “awww you two are so perfect together. and you always have your hands all over each other. you guys must be forkin like crazy” and they’re like “haha! ..........yep!” it’s only just occurred to them that it’s been six months and they still haven’t even kissed. and katara’s like “okay clearly we just....forgot! and we should just do that now, because we’re in ....love? unless..... you don’t want to....” and zuko’s like “HAHA WHAT WHY WOULDNT I WANT TO” the next morning they both are like “well that was great!” and are terrified to tell the other that they currently feel dead inside. after that, they stop having deep conversations. they stop cuddling on the couch. mainly, they just lie to each other so often that the smallest thing will leave them boiling over in a ginormous fight. and when they fight, the entire city knows it, because they are so. goddamn. loud. but then when people ask them how they’re doing katara’s just like “oh we couldnt be more in love :) .....why do you ask?” 

after aang’s house gets destroyed in a fire zuko may or may not have started, he feels so guilty he lets aang move into their gaudy mansion with a billion spare bedrooms. aang promises he’ll only be there until they’re done with renovations to his old home, but none of them bother to question why they need to be doing renovations in the good place anyway. zuko is constantly doubting his place in this world, and whether he even is katara’s soulmate. the people around him keep telling him he’s a good person, but then something horrible will happen that he’s certain was his fault, and he’s like “aah im a fraud!” plus, aang seems to understand katara so much better, and they have a really strong bond... if he can be here, he doesn’t understand why aang and katara can’t be true soulmates. and aang agrees. 

azula’s breakdowns get worse and worse each time, and she feels so alone. she knows that mai doesn’t love her. she knows that sokka doesn’t love her. her mom didn’t even love her! of course she wouldn’t get a soulmate –– what a childish, naive, foolish, idiotic notion!!!! so she decides to do the right thing, and confess: she was put here by mistake. she is the problem with the neighborhood. she’s not supposed to be here. sokka’s like “okay well fork. why did i ever ever beat her in pai sho” (and he’s right to think that, frankly.) there are proceedings in which azula must admit to michael that she was never a human rights lawyer, but she was an attorney. mainly she got people prosecuted for drug possession. it’s a living! ha ha...! they go through a whole bunch of bullshirt, but it all comes to a head when they’re fighting over who should take azula and zuko’s places (he confesses too, obvs) when it occurs to zuko that they can’t go to the bad place. because they’re already in the bad place. 

sokka’s like “whaaaaaaat???? no...........thats ... thats impossible! why would you..............say that.................. you........forking...................idiot...............” (so much work. so much work wasted. fuck this dude. if he weren’t already dead sokka would kill him.) but michael’s already like “wow someone finally figured it out. i thought you’d never get it.” and then goes on to explain his great master plan that was actually a lot less complex than sokka’s current working theory. he leaves the room to talk to sean, and sokka’s like “okay show of hands who knew” so turns out ty lee and suki knew as well. good to know. with double the people with brains, maybe they can devise a plan to escape. and leave the rest to die or whatever. mainly zuko though. especially zuko. sokka writes down a note to find toph, ty lee, suki, and mai in the next reboot and under it, the sentence: “stay calm; you’re in the bad place.” 

and then nbc cancels it because they have the foresight to know that the concept won’t sustain itself :) 

#this was really fun to write omg #the gaang and #asks #anon #sitnematic universe

[gloriousstudentfury-love]

One Lie at a Time

y/n’s POV

I was in the Alvarez apartment helping Alex with homework.

All of a sudden, Lydia ripped open her curtain to reveal herself in a beautiful gown.

"Okay, queridos, your abuelita is going to church!" She said

"Vete con Dios, Abuelita." Alex said

"Shh! I'm watching Buffy!" Elena said

"I love you, papito. Ay and you too little one. Bye Elena." Lydia said

She walked out the door.

___________

Alex and I watched Elena's TV show over her shoulder.

"What's so great about Buffy? It's just a vampire show." I said2

"Well, it's an allegory for how strong women are in constant battle with an oppressive, bloodsucking, male-dominated society." Elena said

"Woah! Buffy's hot." Alex said

I smacked him on the arm

"I know, right?" Elena said

Her cell dinged

"Oh, no." She said

"What?" Me and Alex asked

"It's a text from the guy I asked to be my quinces escort. He said yes. This is a disaster!" Elena said

"Yeah, for him." Alex said

"No, for me. My whole plan to get Abuelita off my back was to ask a popular guy who would never do it. He rejects me, I full on fake cry, Abuelita feels guilty, and boom.. I escape the patriarchal tradition of having to be escorted to my quinces, and instead grow out my uni brow and read a poem about Frida Kahlo." Elena said

"Brutal?" I said confused

"Do I have to come to your quinces?" Alex asked just as worried

She glared at us

"Who's the guy?" I asked

"Josh Flores." She said

"Josh Flores? He's like the star of the baseball team. He should be dating a hot girl who got held back a grade, not you." Alex said

"Rude." I said

Her cell phone dinged again

"Oh, and now he says I'm cute? What?" She said

"So are you gonna tell Josh that you're not into boys? You know, that way?" Alex asked

"Well, all I said is I might be into girls. But I probably like boys, too. I don't know." She said

"Huh?" Alex asked

"Well, it's like.. I've never tried broccoli. So I can't say for sure that I don't like broccoli." She said

"We had broccoli last night for dinner." Alex said

I laughed

"It's a metaphor, Alex." I said

"Broccoli means boys." Elena said

"Oh, I see... but it's not like you tried girls before either. Sorry, I mean... I guess, cauliflower?" Alex said

"That's because cauliflower is a lot harder to find. I mean, how many girls do you know that like cauliflower?" She asked

"None. Although, Finn is pretty sure Denise Falto does because she didn't want his skittles." Alex said

Elena looked at him horrified

"Skittles just means skittles." I said assuring her

"Well, let's just say I'm open to trying broccoli. I mean, Im not gonna go out and buy broccoli, but if broccoli falls on my plate —" She said

"Stop. I don't want to know what your plate is." Alex said

She picked up her phone and started texting

"What are you doing?" I asked

"I told Josh to come over." She said

"What? Josh Flores is coming over? But I haven't showered." Alex said

"I can tell." I said

He glared at me

"What to wear, what to wear..." He said freaking out

"Yep, you two are not going to be here. You two, are going to Schneider's." Elena said

"Ooh, you're gonna have a boy over here alone?" I asked

"Yeah, you know, maybe it'll be great, maybe it'll be terrible. But either way, you won't be here." She said pushing us out

"Okay! But at least mention me to Josh. Tell him I'm awesome. No, No, too strong. Tell him I'm rad." Alex said

She sighed and shut the door.

_____________

I was sitting on Schneider's couch while Alex did homework.

"Hey, Schneider, can I use your laptop?" Alex asked

"Yeah, sure thing, man." He said from another room "You need to research something? Maybe I can help."

"I'm trying to get information on lesbians. Oh, wow. I just typed in les and it filled in bians. And then a lot of other stuff." Alex said

Schneider ran in and shut the computer

"Gross." I said

"Yeah, let's shut that for now." He said

"Or forever." I said

"Why do you need info on lesbians? Don't get me wrong I understand the curiosity, but..I'm not sure you should be doing that." Schneider said as they came and sat on the couch with me

"I'm just trying to find out if they also like guys." Alex said

"You have stumbled onto a real eternal question, buddy. But probably not something I should talk to you about without your mom's permission. And just thinking ahead, I don't think she's gonna give permission. What, are you worried about something?" He asked

"I'm just confused because Elena said she might like this dude, Josh." Alex said

"So?" Schneider said

"So...nothing." I said

"Wait a minute. Alex, are you saying Elena might be gay?" He asked

"Uh...no." We both said

"Because its a secret." Alex said

"Whoa." Schneider said

"She just said she might like girls, but she might like guys, too." I said

"Don't worry. We already had the broccoli cauliflower conversation." Alex said

I rolled my eyes

"That's smart. What did your mom say?" He asked

"She doesn't know. Nobody knows. Except y/n. You can't say anything. Elena will kill me." Alex said

"Okay, don't worry. I won't. Even though I have so many question." He said

I rolled my eyes and got up to go to the bathroom.

__________

When I can back, Alex and Schneider were walking out the door.

I shrugged and followed them.

___________

We bust in to see Josh and Elena making out.

"Okay! Hands off her! I am the go to make authority figure here. And I am shutting this unauthorized party down." Schneider said

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, sir." Josh said

"You were right. He is super cool." Schneider said to us

"Alex, you told Schneider?" Elena asked

"Oh, Hey, Josh. Alex Alvarez. Sorry, I'm a mess. I woke up with flat hair. You know how it is. Sup?" Alex said

"Wow, That was embarrassing." I said

"Okay, Elena, I'm sorry. But, dude, I don't think you're supposed to be here without a parent around." Schneider said

"I totally get it. I'll go. I'll text you later." Josh said leaving

"Alex, I can't believe you told on me!" Elena said

"And.. that my cue to go get food." I said walking into the kitchen.

___________

When I came back in, The whole family was there including Dr. B.

"Wow, what'd I miss?" I asked eating popcorn.

"How was you date, Mom?" Alex asked

"Hey, Alvarez, you left your phone in my car." Some lady said walking in

"Woah!" We all said

"This is your date?" Lydia asked

"So much to process today." Schneider said

"So much." Elena said

"Oh, honey, no, no, no. Your mom and I weren't on a date. I mean, she should be so lucky. We were just at therapy." The lady said

Everyone looked at her

"Um.. Therapy's the name of this new hot club. Fixed it. Bye, girl." The lady said leaving

"You were in therapy?" Lydia asked

"Okay.. Bye." I said walking into Alex's room.

_______________

Later, I was in Alex's room in his sweatshirt, with popcorn, watching tv.

Then, Alex walked in.

"Well, someone's comfortable. And taking my clothes." Alex said

"Oops?" I said laughing

"Whatever." He said sitting next to me

"Uh, why are you wearing Josh's letterman jacket?" I asked

"Because I look awesome." He said

"Sure." I said throwing popcorn at him

He threw some back at me and we got into a popcorn fight.1

____________

#odaat #alex alvarez

[gaydinobots]

swooplock!!!

THANK U im gonna just. do every category because i havent talked abt them in a hot minute so obviously! its time to go ham

under a read more because wow. wow this is so long. im so sorry 

their first impressions 👁swoop thinks grim is pretty hot but to be fair. thats a fact. i think he respects grim just because grimlock is like. strong. he would want to know him more he feels like theyd vibe. grimlock thinks swoop seems fun, no special feeling or anything. hes drawn to him a lil but not because of looks (if anything hed find swoop more cute in a weird, ‘this persons objectively not attractive but i cant stop noticing them’ kind of way) . basically they like each others vibes 

their first date 🕯i think i made a joke tweet a long time ago that theyd probably have a date in a junkyard or something as their first date BUT tbh. i think they probably did go to like…a bar for their first date!! swoop drinks more than he can handle to impress grimlock and even tho grim tells him to lay off he thinks its cute hes trying so hard (grimlock pays for Everything) 

their first kiss 💋THINKING ABT THIS MAKES ME EMBARRASSED OH MY GOD………..ok swoop initiates the kiss impulsively, it probably happened on one of their first dates, and he didnt think much of it. grimlock thought abt it a lot longer than he expected to (it all worked out in the end)  

an inside joke they share 🃏they make fun of slug getting mistaken for a heterosexual by every lesbian he knows…………i think swoop would probably bring up anything dumb grimlock has said too but u see grimlock loves him so he just laughs it off 

a recurring fight they get into ⛈they dont rly fight fight because max dinos 3 proves swoop can only stay mad at grimlock for all of 5 whole minutes. i think they fight over grimlock getting too overprotective when they were starting out but theyve been together long enough to like. be more mature abt handling it!! 

their love languages 💞i think grimlocks highest one would be touch!! idk why im attached to affectionate touchy grim but i feel like he just likes to hold his partners….whether its straight up cuddling or just a casual hand slung over a shoulder. swoop is more of a quality time kind of guy!! i dont think they rly do gift giving often BUT theyre do a lot of nice stuff for each other instead. grimlock also rly isnt into like. verbal affection as much as swoop is. swoop is verbal abt his affection but isnt big on being complimented himself. 

how they feel about pda 🌹swoop LOVES pda because hes dramatic and likes to show off sometimes. he needs everyone to know he loves his wonderful bf and show him off!! grimlock isnt so big on the public part but he indulges swoop anyway + he likes being affectionate - its a win/win for him either way

their favorite things about one another ⭐️grimlock clearly has a type for airheads hgkdsf but for real i think he does love how cheerful and upbeat swoop is!! he likes how impulsive swoop can be too because it means he cant predict what he’ll do next….so he’ll find something new to love when he doesnt expect it 😳 (maybe im being a bit mushy here. whos going to stop me? no one thats what) i dont think swoop ever rly put thought into his favourite trait of grimlock or hed just give a superficial answer about it. but his favourite part about grimlock is his more compassionate side + i think he also likes how grim doesnt. particularly care what other people think of him! he thinks grimlock can be rly sweet and is maybe a little proud of the fact hes one of the few ppl that actually get the Whole Grim Experience 

how they would adapt for one another 🍂swoop has to slow down a lil bit for grimlock! he’s naturally high energy which can be overwhelming for grim, so when swoop realises this he starts to make sure that grim can keep up w/ him. he also does try to take things more seriously cause i feel like hed view his whole thing w/ grim as being casual up until a certain point. grimlock on the other hand definitely tries to be more attentive to swoop. grim is naturally just. not rly receptive to people but when he decides someone is worth the effort he goes ALL IN. hes not the best listener or anything but he does try his best to be interested! even if its for little things.

their favorite celebrations 🎃dinobots collective anniversary because they all decided to just lump up their anniversaries into one nice day + slash’s birthday !!!!!!! i think swoop would also like. get jokingly into knowing different species celebration days but he doesnt rly care much for the meanings

their domestic rituals 💆what intricate rituals do they do………………………i mean they WERE separated for most of post war so they dont rly have much material to go off of. i guess fighting is a good bonding activity w/ ur partner so you end up resting together at night………they definitely cuddle Quite A Bit, swoop and grim also allocate a specific amt of time to swoop gossiping abt something or laughing at other people…im bad at this part OOP 

their family and friends’ opinion ⚖️in an ideal world the dinobots (minus lesbian icon strafe and their daughter slash) r all dating each other in one big polyamorous marriage anyway….the scavengers are very happy that grim’s happy even if krok keeps asking them to stop making out on top of his fridge when he wants engex. misfire keeps planning really weird elaborate date plans which both appreciate even if grim isnt rly sold on shoot shoot bang bang as a date night concept. i keep thinking of a dumb au where the other dynos live and slug is kind mmm because he and swoop are dating and he thinks therell be drama but the spoiler here is that they all have 2 hands so swoopsluglock ends up being the REAL endgame 

their shared living space 🏡the dynos barely have a house half the time in idw oop. i like the idea of them all somehow finding…dinobot island. gay dino paradise if u will. perfect honeymoon destination complete with very nicely heated mud pits 

#Anonymous #GOD i hope ur ok w/ this essay length shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #asks #swooplock #this is so long i genuinely feel so embarrassed ghlsdjf #edit: i forgot. the firstt impressions

[unproduciblesmackdown]

@thecicadasong yeah i havent actually had like, Anons trying to get fresh w/ me about what i Should be drawing (i think ive gotten anon hate like, twice? once for passing along a tweet abt respecting homeless people, another time i have No idea why they were trying to roast me but they were also...weirdly bad at it) but the very rare occasions someone’s tried to tell me i should be drawing different stuff for whatever reason Stick With Me b/c i’m often still steamed abt shit that mightve happened years back but it was THAT annoying lmfao & i reaaally hate when ppl get patronizing &/or when i can tell they’re acting like whatever angle they’re taking is going over my head or they think i’m clueless & i can’t even tell they see me that way lol and i’m like, oh my god i mean it doesn’t make me concerned if i Only Appreciate Boys b/c they’re mostly who i draw b/c yknow......my drawing corner is some rando over here just entertaining myself & Xpressing myself. and a real limited amt of my Interests = the ones im able/interested enough in to draw, & then i tend to wanna draw them a million times lmao....it’s not necessarily the One Unfiltered Reflection of all my interests and all the characters i like, cuz it’s not the only way i think abt shit and express things, & if somebody thinks that my Portfolio not being >50% Girls means that it’s b/c i’ve totally hated girls all along.....that’d be their prerogative i guess. also good lord but that’d be a bad litmus test anyways like.......alllll the misogynist dude artists who draw plenty of ~female characters~ like Yikes City ahhhhh god thats such a fucking cursed realm like. the people so sexist they should be banned from depicting girls and women in any medium. and banned in general God Anyways And Yeah like. the terrible relationships thing too.........like really, this is what you think is appealing???? its too clear sometimes when some man writing this kind of stuff has NO real idea how to think of a woman as an actual person and if they’re trying to write from that perspective it’s like “oh, let’s throw in a ‘smh boys are so stupid and sexist’ thought to realistically depict what it must be like to experience misogyny” and “something about a bra idk” and then call it a day, and if they’re trying to write Romance it’s just like....this Incredible Love that’s truly out of nowhere and they never bother explaining what sustains this, or they decide that the reason bitches liked pride & prejudice is totally because she thought he was a jerk and they fought but then it was like wait nvm we’re in love, right?? and they make that into like, some dude being able to be a total asshole and a really detrimental force in some girl’s life and somehow this Intensity can just be translated into Romantic Intensity no problem, it’s fine that like, they’re not even friends and who knows how to believe they can just get along in regular life and the guy is probably super disrespectful and diminishes her but whatever its fine All Of This And More.....there are so many terrible and annoying ways they do m/f relationships and it’s Really easy to just make it decently written!!! i mean of course sometimes there’s m/f ships that i think are tolerably written and i don’t hate it but also don’t particularly care one way or another but a small / hetero-leaning fandom will like Never Shut Up About It and it’s like ok please shut up about it......i mean really i definitely don’t ever go into any new piece of media expecting to give a shit about any Guy Girl couple. it was a pleasant but total surprise that i really like jeremy/christine (which is not me disavowing the nb lesbian jeremy hc by any means lol) and it was NOT complicated why!!! really in fact a couple of the biggest reasons i found it Especially Good is like, ten seconds in total lmao and it’s “jeremy and christine cracking up by squawking at each other on the couch” and “jeremy doing that Ecstatic Stimming Twirl after kissing christine for 0.003 seconds” lmao.....like!!!! consider showing that the characters can actually have genuine fun interacting with each other for longer than five seconds!!!! give us a single reason why they’d be drawn to each other As People!!! it’s notttt thaaaat harrrrrd aaaaaaaaaA THE WEIRD CHARACTERS yeah i love a true Quirky character and not in the like.....bad clichéd quirky way but like. just someone who’s weird!! the nerdy awkward guys who manifest this by like....maybe being a tiny bit socially clumsy are like, boring and whatever a dime a dozen. but when people are funky and in a sort of fun way and it’s genuinely part of how they interact with others....it’s real relatable lmao i don’t have any very Weird Persona at this point but back in the day i did a bit moreso b/c like, firstly interacting w ppl tended to make me Nervous so it’s like ah hell i’ll do a bit. and then also there’s the classic “well i have this Weirdness abt me that i can’t turn off that ppl seem to dislike, so i’ll put on this extra layer of weirdness that i can try to be vaguely entertaining with.” and then you aren’t popular at all still lol but at least you’ve got your niche amongst whoever does actually like you.....Weird Quirky Guys characters are fun and like, it’s funny that nato of the black suits is Like That in terms of being a lil weirdo who just kind of does his thing in his corner and might Say Something About Anything Apropos Of Nothing as his conversational style and he’s apparently that superlative student type but doesnt seem to actually give a shit and just has his specific interest and depression.......it’s like oh jeez!!! relatable lmao!!! everyone who has a kind of Veneer of communicating a bit erratically and maybe just always throwing out random shit when interacting with others to hope something sticks......but also the strangeness doesn’t even have to be at all performative b/c it’s rarer but super fun when there’s characters who do have that kind of more inherent weirdness that they can’t turn off that really puts people off despite like....them not really doing anything lol....now THAT’S what i call A Timeless Mood it’s funny lmao like i totally have clear Character Types and i always go for those ppl on the same general wavelength as me but it can be a bit Unpredictable and nuanced which ones will actually be adopted into the faves category......like naturally i go for the un-cool passionate excitable types but if someone’s real like, mad energetic or demanding/loud im like oops you lost me. i like people who like to / want to Socialize / have relationships but sometimes if they’re too outgoing / have that natural success at it all / are obv free of anxiety im like, again, you’ve lost me. you truly never know!! only the Most relatable can survive!! one that might seem like they should be a fave on paper might super annoy me lol or just generate Zero interest.......it’s nice to be surprised by which characters really strike a chord lol

#already i Fear whatever horribly written relationship you had to endure being exposed to :(