Tumgik
#and all because I wanted to stay home from church that morning because I was still actively crying and visibly distressed
onlyhuis · 1 year
Text
leaning on the everlasting arms
Tumblr media
member | childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader genre | angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au word count | 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!) synopsis | as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you. content warnings | female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops smut warnings | descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel) notes | although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep note #2 | for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.
his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.
you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.
you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference. 
the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.
when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.
you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.
and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.
back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether. 
more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.
but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.
you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.
you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.
there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.
you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.
but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.
that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long. 
“joshua?���
“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years. 
there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?
“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.
you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”
he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”
“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?
he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.
“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”
“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”
Tumblr media
you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.
so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.
you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.
and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal. 
his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known. 
your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.
no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.
automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.
your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.
“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.
your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.
“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.
the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—
“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”
you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady. 
except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.
“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.
he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.
your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.
somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?
he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.
“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so. 
all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.
“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.
“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!
“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.
apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.
your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.
“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.
you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”
his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.
“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”
“what did you just say?”
you freeze. “what… did i say?”
when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”
that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.
you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”
he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”
“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”
he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”
damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.
you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.
“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.
you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”
the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”
“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”
he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”
you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”
“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”
“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.
“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be. 
you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.
“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.
“yeah,” you say finally.
“are you still touching yourself?”
you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”
and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.
“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”
your mouth falls open. “i–”
“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”
your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.
“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.
“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”
you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”
“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”
you suck in a breath. “yeah?”
“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”
you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.
finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.
“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.
once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.
“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.
you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”
“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”
you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.
“yeah?”
“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.
he chuckles. “oh, really?”
“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”
“and why is that, baby?”
the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.
“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”
his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”
“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.
you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.
“that’s not my name.”
you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”
“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.
you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”
“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”
“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.
it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.
“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses. 
“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.
he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”
“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.
after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.
“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.
with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.
you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.
the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.
“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.
and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”
you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.
a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.
you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.
Tumblr media
it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.
you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.
oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.
he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”
and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.
your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.
you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough. 
joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.
“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room. 
“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.
“oh.”
he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”
“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.
his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”
“are you gonna expel me?”
“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”
you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.
he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”
the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.
you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.
luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”
“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”
he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”
you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”
your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.
“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”
his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”
except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.
the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.
“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”
“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.
he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.
it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.
“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.
he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”
you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”
“yes,” you say hurriedly.
he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”
“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”
his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.
he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.
“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.
he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“why don’t you find out?”
he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.
“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.
you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second. 
you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.
he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes. 
“always.”
he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."
and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.
you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.
he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth. 
but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”
your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—
but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.
when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.
“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”
in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.
with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.
he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”
you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”
“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.
“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.
in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.
finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”
you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”
he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.
“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”
his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.
he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.
the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth. 
“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.
your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.
he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.
your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”
you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”
he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”
you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.
“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.
“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.
“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.
your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.
you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.
he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.
“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”
“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.
he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”
“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.
he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”
you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”
first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?
“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.
“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.
he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”
you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.
“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”
you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.
when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"
he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"
"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."
his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"
you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."
Tumblr media
after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.
he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.
so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.
it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.
Tumblr media
you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.
you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.
he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.
"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"
he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."
"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"
by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."
a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.
"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.
in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.
his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again. 
your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you, 
cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."
“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.
his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”
you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer. 
he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.
with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"
his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"
his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement. 
he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.
you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.
your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.
his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.
joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.
"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.
his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.
"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.
he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"
you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.
it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."
he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."
he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead. 
"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.
and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.
the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.
he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."
he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.
"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.
you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.
"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."
you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.
"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. 
a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.
his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.
"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.
"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.
"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."
"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.
he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"
you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”
Tumblr media
the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”
being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.
you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”
it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.
you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.
everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.
it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging with tags or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
> taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @onlymingyus @just-here-to-read-01 @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno @jwnghyuns @darlingvernon @uwuheeseungie @miriamxsworld @synthetickitsune @simeonswhore @junhour @foxdaisy @honglynights
> strikethrough means your blog cannot be tagged, please check your visibility settings to ensure you can be tagged properly
> if you want to be notified when i post a new fic, you can join my taglist here!
4K notes · View notes
Text
that isn't very holy of you :/
Yandere church boy x gn!reader
It came out shittier than I hoped for. Not proofread 🌺 I'll fix this when I have the time
Tw: religious themes, noncon mention, minor cult mention
Tumblr media
✝️ you had just arrived in the small town of morning star. Having been needing a break from the city life, you rented a one bedroom cabin close by. Planning on staying here for a month, you quickly headed towards your new home, very eager to start exploring the area
✝️ wandering around the town square, it seemed everyone knew eachother. A family like community perhaps? Maybe that's why they all kept staring at you as passed through, must not be use to new faces
✝️that was until a group of children approached, asking you to come play ball with them. You couldn't say no to their puppy dog eyes, and the adult's judgemental stares so you agreed. And it was fun surprisingly! You noticed none of the children had any phones.. or the grown up's for that matter
✝️your first week there you were unsettled, but you just pushed it off as the townsfolks strange behavior, Focusing on unpacking and enjoying your stsy. Until one of the school teachers, a kindergarten one, knocked on your door on a sunday
"hi there honey! On behalf of the people I'd like to sincerely apologize for the cold welcome. It's just been a hard year for all of us! So to make it up you, won't you come to church with us on this fine morning?"
✝️ whether or not you're religious yourself, she managed to convince you to come along. Chatting the whole walk there. Talking about her husband, her children. She mentioned something about having a son your age but you weren't really paying attention
✝️ walking through the grand double doors of the church house, she sat you on the front row with the pastors family, next to a young man. You were startled as she sat on the other side of you, leaning in to whisper In Your ear as she pointed at the pastor preaching
"that's my hubby right there. He's a handsome fella ain't he?"
✝️david looked at his mother in disbelief, he told her a few a times he found you attractive and now look at her! He could practically see the gears turning in her head. thankfully you seemed preoccupied thinking, so he did his best to seem normal while his poor heart beated 300 mph
✝️after the sermon, david turned to you and have you a sheepish smile
"hi.. my name's David, but you can call me dave.. its.. nice to meet you"
✝️you and David hit it off, unlike all the other people. He didn't constantly talk about praising god and forcing his religion down your throat. He was kind, understanding. Laughing at your jokes and nodding along to your words. He never met someone so.. ethereal
✝️growing up, he had a hard time believing in his small towns "god". Watching them cut up and sacrifice newcomers to their false idols, he felt sick to the pit of his stomach heading their screams. But he could definitely devote his cause to you...
✝️he trapped you in this shitty town when he asked you out on a little date a few days later. Unaware he drugged your food and dragging you into his home, waking up chained to a bed. You couldn't tell how long you've been there, but every time you'd try to escape he'd punish you in bed. Not letting you cum or overstimulating you to the point of tears. Why would you want to leave something that can make you feel so good?
✝️he grew up desensitized to blood and gore, so he's confused when you're screaming and crying. Why are you doing that? Don't you know that this is what happens to bad spouses? What do you mean you're not married either? ofcourse you are. Stop being so difficult...
✝️nobody blinks an eye when he strides into town with you on a collar and leash. And that's when you realized, you should have left earlier. Because the whole town was sick in the head. It wasn't like you could call for help because he fucking destroyed your electronics and the people don't even have phones. Something about wifi signals can brainwash you
✝️ he's whipped for you, that much you can obviously tell. but he's smarter than he looks. Eating dinner with his family is just painful,since all they talk about is God god god. It hurts your ears with how often they just Randomly start singing praises. It's bad enough they force you to watch their cult church activities...
✝️if you give in to his demands, he'll let you off the leash but you have to stay close by at all times. If you don't, he'll have to make his punishments a little more extreme. There's also a possibility he'll force you to help around the town. whether that be looking after the children or just running around doing errands. The shock bracelet on your ankle stops you from running into the woods..
✝️if you don't, well.. you wouldn't mind if you became permanently handicapped right?
"don't be so difficult sweetie.. just stay still and it'll cut right through okay?'
785 notes · View notes
screeching-bunny · 11 months
Note
Yandere priest or religious higher up x witch reader?
Yandere! Priest pt. 2
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’
Tumblr media
Pt.1
In a small, picturesque village nestled amidst towering mountains and lush greenery, there existed a quiet and humble priest. He was revered for his kind heart, unwavering devotion to his faith, and his desire to help others. Yandere! Priest had dedicated his life to serving his community, finding solace in his duties and the tranquility of the church. He could only be described as compassionate and fair with the gentlest heart. He was very well loved by the community around him and highly respected. However, there was a small group of people who hated him and preyed on his downfall. One these people managed to gravely injure him and drag his body far away from civilization to make sure he doesn’t have a chance at living. They wanted a slow and painful death for him.
On the outskirts desolated from the village, was an enchanted forest, that was rumored by the townspeople to be cursed and filled with many horrors. That so-called haunted and enchanted forest held your lovely house which you had been living in for decades. Now the question arises, why exactly were you living in such a dangerous and isolated forest in the first place? Well, an easy explanation to this question was the fact that you were a witch. On that possessed extraordinary magic, to be more specific you were a witch doctor. One who was dedicated to healing and creating new medicinal spells.
Currently, you were outside in that forest collecting herbs when you came across a severely injured person. They had grave injuries all over their body and had a nasty head wound across their skull. Whenever you came across an injured animal you would always heal them immediately in order to ensure their survival. This time it was different because they were human. You had to be extra cautious about using your powers in order to not be exposed as a witch. You start to carefully and swiftly carry them towards your cabin.
By the time that you got home, your patient had already lost a liter of blood. You honestly were not sure if they were even gonna survive the night but you quickly got to work on them. Although it took several hours, you managed to stabilize him with the help of your magic and medical tools. Using a spell to clean up the blood, you decide to retire for the night. The operation was a success but you had to heal him little by little to avoid suspicion. Anyways, he should be up by tomorrow, it’s time to get some well deserved rest.
When morning arrived, Yandere! Priest started to stir from his bed. He was currently in a daze, “Where was he? The last thing he remembered was getting beat up. How did he end up here?” A few minutes later, the door opened to reveal you. “Nice to see you awake. I hope you feel better now.” He looks at you with confusion and you quickly explain the situation and how you found him.
“Ah, I see. I can’t exactly remember who attacked me. Is it alright if I stay here for a while until I get better?” Just like that you earned yourself a new servant. He was extremely respectful towards you but had the tendency to linger extremely close to you while you were out in public looking for supplies. While you worked on your medicine, Yandere! Priest took care of all the household chores and acted like your househusband. He was supposed to be devoted to God and live his life in celibacy but here was little by little falling in love with you. No matter what he did, his mind was filled with just thoughts of you and the need to please your every desire. It wasn’t right but it felt so natural. If God was out there listening and witnessing all the deeds he had done for him in his name, then he wouldn’t mind if he fell in love with you right?
As the days went on, you both were living in complete harmony, that was until one day while shopping in town, someone from Yandere! Priest’s village recognized him. This person ended up being Yandere! Priest’s childhood friend who had a crush on him. She was extremely shocked that he was here and she stalked him all the way back to your house. While there she got jealous, the way that he looked and treated you made her green with envy. All her life she had a crush on him and when she finally had the courage to ask him out, he simply stated that he devoured his life to God. Devoted my ass, what kind of priest looks at a person with such tender love and care? She honestly could not believe this. She loved him so much that if she couldn’t have him, then no one could. Which is why she hired a hitman to kill him and why she was so surprised to see him alive. If only that person she hired wasn’t so incompetent.
After some more days of observation, she discovers a disturbing secret from you. It was the fact that you were a WITCH. She could not believe her eyes as she watched you take out your spell book to make a potion. As she was about to go town to tell everyone about this, she ended up tripping which alerted you that she was there. You quickly realized that she discovered your identity and was about to go tell the townspeople. In a flash you immediately took action and teleported to the other end of the forest and rushed to the town.
There, you immediately screamed, “WITCH, EVERYONE I HAVE DISCOVERED A WITCH.” This immediately caught the attention of everyone around and they all started to ask you questions about their appearance. Yandere! Priest was shopping and heard the sound of your voice. He immediately rushed over to you. After you finish giving the description of the girl, she immediately rushes over to the people and starts accusing you. Which you respond with, “She tells lies! I saw her reading and writing! She must be a witch, burn her at the stake!” Okay, so you knew this was morally wrong but it was either you or her. Thanks to your gaslighting and the brain deadness of the people, everyone took your side. It honestly was not that hard to convince them, they do witch burning of people every week because they had the ability to read.
Right now, you are currently watching a woman burn at the stake while she shouts profanities at you. You honestly could not believe that had worked, well at least your butt was saved. However, the more that Yandere! Priest thought about it, the more it made sense that you might actually be a witch. From your mannerism to your way of life, it was all odd. I mean normal people don’t just live in the middle of some random woods. Wait, no, that couldn’t be, you were something greater. For the remainder of his time he made sure to heavily observe you and anything you did. He kept these thoughts to himself until he fully recovered and was expected to leave your house. That was fine, he was willing to leave but not without you by his side. On this day, he hid your spell book to guarantee that you wouldn’t run away. With that he made his way back to his former village to start making preparations for your arrival.
You were frantically searching for your book. Where was it? You definitely couldn’t have misplaced, right? Just then, you hear a knock on the door and Yandere! Priest steps in. “I’m so grateful to see you again, I could bear being away from you. Even if it had only been two hours.” What? Now you were confused, what was he doing here again and what was he talking about? Seeing the confused look on your face he explains, “I’ve come to take you back with me. You see I am a priest and I now know that I was created in order to worship you.” With that he holds up your spell book. “I know what you are, a divine being greater than God. I’ll spend the rest of my day following your every demand. Come, I have already ordered the other priest to prepare your arrival. Let us worship you. You are the only one that can save us from this wretched world, please indulge us with your presence. We’ll make sure your word is law.”
You had such a look of disbelief written on your face. Holy crap did you just accidentally start up a cult?!?! Fuck.
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
the-record · 4 months
Text
COWBOYS LIKE ME
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SYNOPSIS: youll never stop letting her in.
PAIRING: cowboy!abby x reader
WARNINGS: none??
A/N: yall remember when i wrote some fics and made a ton of ideas and series and then disappeared??? WOOPS!! heres a little holiday present!! maybe there will be more, idk
Tumblr media
after that last night, abby hadnt shown at your door again. she knew she was wrong for it, for everything. all you had done was love and care for her, treating her with sweet southern kindness. she hated herself for leaving you.
you couldn’t find it within your heart to hate her. she didn’t lie when she said it wasn’t safe for the two of you beyond the farm. it still didn’t make it hurt any less when she left without a word.
you gave up after three months and she didnt come by even once. you fell back into your regular routine. afternoon tea, church, chores. you even found a bookstore that would fill the quiet hours between tasks.
abby didn’t forget about you though, how could she? she had people all around town keeping an eye on you, ensuring you were never around danger. subtle misdirections and such. just because she couldn’t be there didn’t mean she doesn’t care.
you’d attempted to forget her, and almost had.
but it was cold and snowy out, just days before christmas, and abby found herself close to the only place she could call home.
you werent shocked to hear a knock ok your door so late in the evening, figuring one of the ladies had stopped by with news and a gift. but seeing her at your door stopped your heart.
“can i come in?” you ushered her in, taking in her shivering frame. “im really sorry if im putting you out, but could i stay here? just for a night if thats all you please.”
you nodded, just enough to see, still starstruck. she smiled softly and knocked you out of your state. you grabbed the snowy coat off her shoulders, helping her take off those boots you knew didnt do much in this cold. you pulled her to the fire place, setting her beside it and finding a blanket to wrap around her body.
she laughed as you sat beside her, just staring. “gotta love southern hospitality.” she joked, but you barely laughed. abby sighed and picked at her fingers, “i really am sorry. i feel i cant stop hurting you.”
you merely nodded before getting up. heading to the kitchen, your head clouded as you fell into routine. as you put the kettle on, you couldnt help but wonder why she was back on your doorstep. you didnt stop wondering even as you watched the tea steep, when you brought it back to the now warmer blonde.
but when you held it out to her, you didnt let go. “are you gonna leave again?” her silence was answer enough. your hand dropped and you turned, leaving for your room.
abby flinched when your door slammed.
her boots still sat beneath your bed, gathering dust, fingerprints still visible from the last time you missed her. you listened to her footsteps as your fingers brushed all over the shoes.
she roamed the kitchen, cleaning it the best she could before she made her way upstairs. abby didnt want to hurt you. she loved you, even if she struggled to say it. when she knocked she heard a quiet ‘come in’, yet she still hesitated at the door.
the door opened for her. you staring up at her blank face, a tear stain she wanted to wash away and never see again.
“i love you.”
Tumblr media
when the sun streamed in the next morning, it didnt fall on just you. a weight slung over your stomach, one of abby’s arms dead weight across you. you couldn’t help but smile.
when it snowed again the next day, the bed was cold, but the house wasn’t. downstairs, abby had the fire going and breakfast on the stove for the both of you.
and when the sun shown and the birds sang months later, she laid in bed watching your peaceful sleep.
her cuts and bruises had long disappeared. that chill she had that made her shake, warmed. the emptiness she had felt for all those years, had been filled with love and care she yearned for her whole life.
she felt it when she saw you.
290 notes · View notes
oddballwriter · 3 months
Text
Personal Nurses
Tumblr media
Summary: You get sick with something and need to stay home, and so your lovely boyfriends take up the job of nursing you back to health.
Warnings: Mentions of being sick (sore throat, stuffy nose, and fever). Taking medicine. Half Google translated Spanish, my high school Spanish is really rusty the grammar may be weird. Other wise a nice wholesome sick comfort fic.
Author’s Snip: Fun fact, this was originally going to be a fic where it was about Abi (the reader and system’s daughter that have a bit of an unofficial series with) getting sick. But I decided to make it about the boys taking care of you because I got a nasty cold a while ago and wanted to see this.
Notes: Again, the grammar in Jake’s Spanish speaking might be not so good because my Spanish is rusty as hell.
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
Word Count: 692
Tumblr media
Being sick wasn’t that great. Sure, it got you out of needing to do things, but you also had to deal with actually being sick. And that’s never great.
You went to bed last night with a tickle in your throat and runny nose that you thought would pass in the morning, but then you woke up dying for water, barely able to breathe through your nose, and now you were burning up like a whore in church.
When Steven eventually woke up and found you in the kitchen you could tell he knew. You made an attempt to brush it off by saying “I’ll just drink some tea and sit under an air conditioner today.” but you could see Steven and the rest of them in that brain vote no on even letting you get out into your work clothes.
So now you get to wallow in bed and have three personal nurses.
Since Steven was the one who woke up with the body, so he was the one who set everything up. He politely shooed you back into bed, placed extra pillows, called your work for you, made you your tea and breakfast, and brought all that to you in bed with a cold rag and medicine. He also checked your temperature which, of course earned an “Oh, love. That’s no good.” that seemed more like him thinking out loud.
Steven was the one mostly in charge of your comfort and doing things for you when you’re sick. If you wanted an extra blanket, you got one. If your fever rag got lukewarm, he made it cool again. Do you want more water or tea? You got it. Is it too bright? He’ll draw the curtains for you. If anything he was more of a bell boy than a nurse. But it still made him blush a little when you called him that.
Marc was the one in charge of making sure you got your medicine in, and he was on top of it. Apparently, when you were taking a nap after eating breakfast, Marc took the body to go to the pharmacy and get new medicine and vitamins because “The one we have isn’t strong enough.” as if he was able to tell just by looking at you. When he came back, he had you eat some bread, saying “So that it doesn’t mess with your stomach if it's empty already.” and also “It helps it stay down. It has something to stick to.”.
“How do you know all this?” you questioned, to which Marc simply said “Trial and error,”, “Now take the vitamins. It helps your immune system fight it off.” Marc orders. You just shrug and comment “Whatever you say, Nurse Spector.”.
Jake was dead set on making food for you, making Marc go to a whole different market while he was out, just to buy ingredients for the soup he wanted to make you.
“Qué no, Marc. No puedes compras los sopas enlatadas.” Jake said to himself with a laugh. “Mind letting me in on the joke?” Marc asked as he watched Jake cut up the ingredients from the reflection in the soup. “You couldn’t buy them canned soup, Marc. Canned soup doesn’t do it. You gotta make it.” Jake explained, clearly referring to the whole ‘make it with love’ thing. “Well, that’s what we would have,” Marc mentioned. “Because that’s all we got.” Jake said back, “But not for them.” he added as to pointed to where you were resting. “They’d do the same for us.” Jake stated confidently.
When the soup was settled and done, and cooled down enough, Jake brought the bowl straight to you in bed. You thought he was going to bring a little table like Steven and Marc did, but it was clear when Jake kept holding the bowl and took up a spoonful of it and held it towards your mouth. You say his name with a scoff and he smiles. “Come on, mi amor. Steven and Marc got to play nurse today.” Jake teased. You roll your eyes and decide to humor him and let him feed you.
204 notes · View notes
slaymybreathaway · 10 months
Text
Batwife (Bruce Wayne x Reader)
"The Batman" 2022
Warnings: mentions of nudity
Word Count: 776
Masterlist
Tumblr media
"The city's favourite couple are saying 'I do' this morning at Gotham Cathedral. Billionaire Bruce Wayne and Oscar Winning actress Y/n L/n made their first public appearance as a couple nearly 3 years ago at the premier of y/n's movie The Gravedigger," one reporter said.
Every news station in the city waited impatiently outside the cathedral for them to emerge. It was the event of the decade, the closest Gotham would ever get to a royal wedding.
Just then, the newlyweds emerged from the Church. Y/n was wearing a simple silk wedding dress with colourful flowers adorned on the lace sleeves that covered her arms. Bruce was looking sharp in a black suit. The handkerchief tucked neatly in his breast pocket was a bright yellow. Many fans speculate that the burst of colour was added by his new wife, the actress being famous for her making block colours fashionable again.
As soon as the doors of the Cathedral were opened, they were bombarded with flashing cameras and intrusive questions.
"Y/n, many speculate you are marrying for money," one particularly pushy reporter asked.
Bruce tried to get his new wife to ignore this statement but y/n turned around and spoke straight into his microphone. "I'm more than capable of making my own money, thank you," she said and followed her husband into the wedding car.
♡ 5 years later ♡
Y/n Wayne sat in living room watching, no studying the news. Every night she did the same, waiting for the headline she dreaded 'Masked Vigilante Found Dead'. Thankfully it hasn't happened yet.
Then, Alfred brought her a cup of coffee. "Here, I assume you won't go to sleep until Master Bruce comes home," he smiled slightly.
"Am I that readable?" she asked and took the cup "Anyways will you tell me when he does get home, please?"
Alfred agreed and y/n went back to watching the news.
An hour later, y/n was on the verge of falling asleep when Alfred came back in. "Master Bruce has arrived," he announced.
Y/n yawned. She got up, put on her robe and got in the elevator down to what her husband called the 'bat-cave' but she referred to it as the glorified basment.
When the elevator stopped y/n could see Bruce writing down the nights events.
"Dear Diary, it's Halloween today and I had to dress up like a bat. All the other kids made fun of me and stole my candy," she joked and walked over to him.
Bruce smiled "I told you not to wait around for me anymore honey," He closed his notebook and brought her face to kiss him.
She watched as he took out his camera contact lenses and placed them on the scanner.
Y/n knew that he wouldn't listen to her properly while watching the footage of tonight so she decided to mess with him.
"I went to a Halloween party tonight,"
"Mhm, that's nice honey. What did you wear?" he asked, not really caring about the answer.
"Barely anything," y/n whispered in his ear.
No reaction whatsoever came from Bruce's face, he replied with another automated answer "Great, hope you didn't get too cold,"
Y/n crossed her arms in frustration. "You should've came. To the party, I mean. If I attend another social event alone people will start to rumour your death,"
"Well, it seems like crime never ends in this city," he said, his head still stuck in the monitors.
"Yeah but marriages do," y/n mumbled.
Bruce broke out of his trance and turned to face his wife. "What?"
Y/n's expression broke into a smile. "The fact that I had to mention divorce for my husband to even make eye contact with me,"
He sighed "I'm sorry, my love. It's just, this thing," he gestures to the screen.
"Maybe I can help?" y/n asked, already knowing the answer. Bruce didn't want her involved in the whole 'Batman' thing because she worries enough about him without her knowing the amount of danger he really is in.
"C'mon, with most women, if their husband stayed out half the night and comes back with eye makeup on then he's cheating. My situation is... A little different. Just, please let me help you," she looked up at him pleadingly.
He sighed. "Alright come here," he wrapped his arms around his wife as he showed her the 'He lies still' card.
410 notes · View notes
bellaxgiornata · 10 months
Text
All These Years [Part 11: "Last to Know"]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader
[You can find the full series summary and masterlist of installments for All These Years here.]
Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut
Word Count: 6.9k
a/n: This is another longer installment that brings us through season 3 (I'm planning a different angsty fic to really focus on season 3) and begins to bring us closer to the end of angst...but we're not quite there yet. Feedback is always appreciated!
Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella @ms-murdockswift @margoo0 @1988-fiend @lockleywife @strangeobsessed @justalittlebitbored @am-3-thyst @buckybarnes-1917 @thora-jane @lionalsowrites @cloudroomblog @prince-tassel @danzer8705 @yourlocalbentspine @harperdoodle @hollandorks
Tumblr media
Sitting across the table from Foggy and Karen, you drew your steaming latte to your lips for a drink. You were partially listening to Karen discuss the new article she was working on for the Bulletin, the newspaper she'd inevitably started working for shortly after Matt had disappeared and Foggy had disbanded their law firm. He had taken a job over at Hogarth, Chao, & Benowitz so he could continue to pay his bills, unable to continue to afford to work at Nelson and Murdock with the other half gone. You had recently thrown yourself into your own work over the last few weeks, gaining a new position with a pay raise and the ability to work from home for your company. Which had proven too convenient because you usually rolled right out of bed and stayed in your pajamas all day, showering after work just to throw on another pair of pajamas. 
It had been almost two weeks since you'd stopped going to Clinton Church now, too. You barely left your apartment anymore since you didn’t need to leave for work. Oftentimes you lost track of time and had been clocking in hours and hours of overtime at your computer. You’d had nothing else going on and you didn't want to think, so you’d found yourself hyperfocused on coding. Your boss had certainly been praising your initiative.
This morning was actually the first time you’d left your apartment in days. You hadn’t even left for groceries, having ordered them and had them delivered to your apartment a few days ago for convenience. Foggy and Karen had been worried about you, frequently telling you as much over texts lately. Which was why you'd eventually caved and met them for coffee this morning. But if you were being honest, you weren't mentally fully present with them. 
Your attention had shifted outside the window as Karen continued on with her animated conversation, Foggy just as enthusiastic as she was with whatever they’d been talking about. You’d unintentionally lost your focus as you often did outside of work lately, your eyes absently lingering on the place outside the window just above Karen’s shoulder. The sidewalk outside the coffee shop was busy with the usual Saturday morning foot traffic and you blankly watched as a multitude of colors swam by. You weren’t sure how long you’d sat staring out the window like that before you realized Karen was snapping her fingers in front of your face. Blinking a few times, you snapped out of your daze and focused back on her and Foggy. Worry was written clear across both of their faces as they stared back at you.
"What?" you asked.
"I was trying to ask you how you liked your new position," Karen said. "I asked you like four times now."
"Sorry, I uh, I was distracted," you replied, sitting up straighter in your chair as both of your hands wrapped around your warm coffee cup. "It's good. It's going good. Working at home is–is good."
Foggy leaned across the table towards you, concern still clear in his eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked gently. "Because you've been distant ever since…"
"I'm fine," you answered automatically, forcing a smile onto your face. 
Foggy and Karen turned and exchanged a look with each other for a moment, your eyes narrowing as you watched. The strained smile on your face was quickly growing uncomfortable. When Foggy focused back on you, he shook his head slowly. 
"No," he disagreed, "you're not. You haven't been fine for a long time. What's going on with you?"
"Nothing," you replied defensively. 
From across the table, Karen sent you a sympathetic look. You knew the one. You'd seen it plenty of times now. 
"It's because of what's been popping up in the news, isn't it?" she asked. "The little rumors."
Your head tilted to the side as you eyed her curiously. "What little rumors?" you asked back. 
Karen's gaze flickered to Foggy before it returned to you. Her fingers began drumming on her coffee cup nervously. 
"About the man in black?" she said, voice lowered. 
You sucked in a sharp breath, your back straightening further in the chair. Hope filled you instantly as your eyes searched Karen’s face for answers.
"Matt?" you whispered. 
She opened her mouth to speak but Foggy raised a hand, waving it firmly in the air between the pair of you. The gesture instantly cut her off before she'd even begun.
"It's not Matt," Foggy stated sharply. "Hell’s Kitchen has become ground zero for all kinds of copycat vigilantes lately. It's not him, so don't go giving her false hope, Karen."
Your eyes further narrowed at Foggy. "How do you know it's not him?" you challenged. 
Foggy’s expression softened, a hand running across his forehead. "Because," he answered softly, "if it was Matt, he'd have reached out. Told us he was alive. You know he would. It's been just over a couple of months now, he's had plenty of time to reach out to tell us he survived Midland Circle and he hasn't." He sighed deeply, shaking his head at you. "You need to accept it. He's gone."
"Foggy," Karen gently reprimanded, "that's not–"
"No," Foggy countered firmly, his focus shifting to Karen. "She needs to hear this. She needs to accept it and stop doing what she's been doing to herself! And whatever this bullshit in the news is–it's not Matt." Foggy’s attention returned to you, his eyes pleading. "You have to let this go. You need to accept the fact that Matt–” Foggy winced, “–he's dead.”
Your throat felt like it was closing up, tears welling in your eyes. How could Foggy just accept that as fact so easily? How could he just give up on Matt like that? He had been both of your best friends for so long. Wasn’t there any part of him that had hope?
“Foggy, that’s a little harsh,” Karen chastised. “You’re being really unsympathetic here.”
Foggy shook his head, once again rounding on Karen. “She’s been denying the facts for almost three months now!” he exclaimed. “And look at how she’s been doing! She’s clearly not handling it alright. It looks like she’s barely sleeping and taking care of herself. Every time we see her she’s barely present. And she’s been paying for his apartment for months now!” 
His head spun in your direction, startling you at the abruptness. Your lips were quivering as you sat there, feeling like you were about to break down in the middle of the coffee shop with everything he was saying. 
“You can't keep paying for his apartment and holding onto his things. It's not good for you," Foggy stated sharply. “It’s not sustainable for you to pay for two rents, either. You need to let this go!”
“Foggy–”
“ No !” Foggy growled at Karen. “I’ve already lost Matt, I’m not losing her, too!”
Sniffling loudly, you swiftly rose from the table and wiped the back of your hand across your tear stained cheeks. Both Foggy and Karen’s attention shifted to you instantly. Karen mouthed an apology as Foggy’s face fell beside her.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“Home,” you croaked out.
Ignoring Foggy’s pleas to stay, you quickly turned and left the coffee shop with your coffee clutched between both hands. You did your best to duck your head, trying to hide your face as you silently cried the entire walk back to your apartment. 
Tumblr media
What a shitty past few days it had been. 
While Matt had been out last night, he'd been stopped in his tracks the moment he realized his hearing had fully come back to him. He could hear the sirens of ambulances approaching where he’d just stepped out onto the street, the sounds of the city around him, the buzz of a neon sign nearby, and the commotion in front of the hospital he’d just exited. He had been stunned, a wave of gratefulness washing over him in that very moment because he could fully hear again . But what were the first words he’d heard in the commotion around him when God had finally decided to restore his hearing?
The FBI had let Wilson Fisk out of prison.
Could God have been laughing at him any more than he already had been? What a fucking cruel joke to restore his hearing just in time for him to hear that Fisk had been released. Matt had been furious . Even more furious at God than he had been lately. But despite his rage since that moment, he knew there was something he needed to do tonight.
If Fisk was free from prison, in any capacity, he knew he’d be seeking revenge on himself, Foggy, and Karen for having put him away. And while Matt Murdock was safe from his vengeance because he was supposed to be dead, Foggy wasn’t. And neither was Karen.
Which was why Matt had donned his winter coat, the baseball cap, and some sunglasses before making the long trek to the bar he knew Foggy frequented near his new place of work outside of Hell’s Kitchen. Despite wanting to have his friends continue to think he was dead, knowing it was safer for them, Matt had admittedly kept tabs on Foggy on and off for weeks now. He didn't let himself ponder the reasoning, though.
But it had only been Foggy he’d checked in on. He couldn’t bring himself to see what you were getting up to. He’d known you’d stopped visiting Clinton Church not too long ago. The last few times you’d visited he’d heard you from the church basement. You would always end up softly sobbing to yourself before you left. And each time you had, Matt had curled up on the basement floor just beneath the pew you’d been sitting in, just to feel some semblance of being near you again, and he cried with you. When night had fallen those nights, he’d immediately gone out as the man in the mask and let the Devil take over, not wanting to feel anything. 
But he hadn’t gone anywhere near your apartment. He couldn’t bring himself to.
And now he was standing outside the bar Foggy was sitting inside at this exact moment. Matt could tell Foggy was upset by how much he’d already had to drink, having known the amount because he’d been standing outside in the alley from the moment Foggy had first showed up and stepped inside. He’d been struggling to get up the nerve to go inside and talk to him, to warn Foggy about staying away from Fisk and letting him deal with things. Because clearly the law wasn’t going to achieve anything on its own at keeping Fisk where he belonged, so it was up to Matt to make things right.  
He knew it wasn’t going to be easy going inside and talking to him, though. Just standing in the alley and knowing he was about to go in there and reveal to Foggy that he wasn’t dead, that he’d been lying and would need Foggy to yet again lie for him–to people both Matt and Foggy cared about– hurt . 
Matt needed to keep his distance to keep you all safe, though–now more than before. Fisk was dangerous, and he was certainly going to come after Foggy and Karen, so Matt needed to make sure both of them stayed out of Fisk’s way. He certainly didn’t need Karen to go chasing after him as the reporter she’d become and further put herself on Wilson Fisk’s radar. She didn’t need to end up like Ben Urich. And he didn’t want Foggy going after Blake Tower for signing off on the FBI’s decision to release Fisk for information–that would certainly garner Fisk’s attention.
But you–Fisk didn’t know about you. You weren’t a part of Nelson and Murdock. Fisk had no reason to know about you, which meant you needed to stay far away from Matt and the Devil so your name would never cross Fisk’s lips.
Which was why he could only go to Foggy. He knew he’d keep the secret in order to keep his friends safe, even if he would absolutely hate Matt for asking that of him. 
And he also needed to steal Foggy’s wallet for his New York State Bar Association license for what he planned to do tomorrow. 
With a sigh, he pushed off of the wall and forced himself to turn the corner and enter the bar. It wasn’t very busy for a Tuesday evening, so Matt easily made his way over near where Foggy was drinking at the counter. He paused when he was just a few feet behind him, nerves twisting in his gut. Foggy was entirely oblivious to Matt’s presence, though, still swirling the alcohol in his glass absently. Squaring his shoulders, Matt steeled himself for the emotional pain that he was about to inflict on both Foggy and himself.
“Fog,” he called out softly.
Matt heard the way Foggy’s head slowly turned towards him, his brows having drawn together in confusion. For a moment Foggy just stared at Matt in perplexed silence. Matt could practically hear the moment when Foggy realized who was standing before him in his slightly intoxicated state. 
“This isn’t real,” Foggy said. "You're not really here."
Matt’s teeth ground together as he gave a single nod at him. “It’s real,” he said softly.
He could hear the way Foggy’s lips drew into a big smile, the only one that had been on his face in the hour that Matt had been standing outside. The bar stool Foggy had been sitting in slid back on the floor as Matt heard Foggy rise to his feet just moments before he felt his friend embrace him in a tight hug. Instinctively Matt’s hands flew up, hugging Foggy in return. He could smell the salt of his unshed tears in the air.
“Hey, Fog,” he greeted quietly.
“How?” Foggy asked in disbelief, still clutching Matt tight. “Where? We thought you were dead!”
Foggy abruptly pulled away from Matt, clearly taking a moment to scan him over. Matt’s hands returned to his cane, fidgeting nervously with it as he practically felt Foggy’s eyes roving him. Seconds later, Foggy said your name and Matt’s heart felt like it shattered instantly. 
“Does she know you’re alive?" he asked. "Does Karen?” 
Pressing his lips tight together to keep from crying, Matt reached a hand out and gently grabbed Foggy’s shoulder.
“Take a seat, Fog,” he ordered.
Foggy did as directed, returning to the bar stool he’d just been seated at. Matt slowly lowered into a stool near him. He braced himself for what he was about to have to say and do now.
“I’m not back,” Matt told him firmly.
Matt heard the smile once again spread across Foggy’s face and the joking tone when he spoke next.
“Well I know I’m not drunk enough to be hallucinating quite yet,” Foggy teased.
Matt shook his head once. “I’m not back,” he repeated. “Matt Murdock isn’t going to be a part of me anymore. I’m…leaving him behind. He isn’t who I am.”
The smile quickly fell from Foggy’s face. “What?” he asked.
Swallowing hard, Matt tried to keep the waver and emotion out of his voice. “The only reason I came here was to warn you and Karen about Fisk now that he’s out. You’re both in danger.”
“Dude–”
“I’m going after him, Foggy,” Matt continued briskly, cutting him off. “I’m going to bring Fisk down. But I can only do that if I know that you and Karen are safe.”
“Hang on, hang on,” Foggy said, waving a hand. “I’m still trying to process the fact that you’re here. Alive .”
“I know that you and Karen are going to want to get involved,” Matt told him, his foot tapping lightly on the bar floor. He needed to get out of here soon before he lost his resolve. “To try to fight him in some way, but I’m telling you that I need you both to stay out of it and leave it to me.”
There was a brief pause after his words. Matt heard the way Foggy slowly shook his head in response. 
“No,” Foggy told him.
“No?” Matt asked in disbelief. 
“No,” Foggy replied more forcefully. “You don’t get to show up after months of me–all of us–thinking you’re dead, say something like that to me, and then just–just expect me to be cool with it. You’re my best friend , asshole!”
Matt’s heart tightened in his chest at the hurt in his best friend’s voice. Foggy’s words stung despite how much Matt knew he deserved them–truthfully he deserved a bigger verbal lashing. But he needed to end this and get out of here. Now.
“I was wrong to become your friend, Foggy,” Matt told him, ignoring the way his own heart beat irregularly at the lie as it left his lips. In time he'd make himself believe it. “I put you in danger and it was selfish of me. While I can’t change the past, I can stop making the same mistake. We’re done, buddy,” Matt said, quickly rising from the bar stool. “It’s over.”
“There’s something seriously wrong with you,” Foggy snapped, his voice cracking.
“Yeah, I know,” Matt agreed, once again fighting the emotion from creeping into his words. "Just stay clear of Fisk. Tell Karen to do the same," he ordered. "And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her you saw me.”
Matt turned to go, desperate to get away and attempt to control his own emotions. He felt close to tears himself and was grateful for the sunglasses hiding his eyes. He managed two steps before he heard Foggy once again call your name after him. Matt winced at the sound of it, his feet inevitably coming to a stop as his back remained turned to Foggy.
“What about her, huh?” Foggy asked. “You know she’s been a mess since you’ve been gone? She refuses to believe you’re dead, Matt. Am I just supposed to let her continue thinking that now that I know it’s a lie?”
Behind the sunglasses, Matt’s eyes clamped shut. He felt a tear escape and he tried to hide wiping it away as he ran a hand over his mouth. Exhaling a shuddering breath, he tried to keep his voice steady when he answered.
“Yes,” Matt replied, voice softer. “She can’t know.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Foggy roared at his back. “You’re going to do that to her? Make me do that to her?”
Matt sighed, shaking his head but still refusing to turn around. “Fog, she can’t–”
“She’s paying your fucking rent, man,” Foggy spat bitterly. “For months now she’s been paying it. She thinks you’re still out there. Alive. That you’re too injured to find a way to reach out and that’s why it’s been months of us not hearing from you. But no,” he continued, anger clear in his voice, “you’ve been intentionally letting us think you’re dead all of this time.”
Matt couldn’t speak, his throat feeling like it was closing up on him. His hands gripped his cane even tighter. You were paying his rent?
“Why?” he managed, the word breaking.
“Why?” Foggy repeated in disbelief. “Because she cares about you, you idiot! She misses you! You’re one of her absolute best friends, man. She doesn’t want to believe you’re gone.”
Matt tried to swallow but his tongue felt thick and heavy in his own mouth, the gesture feeling near impossible. Fuck, he didn’t want to do this to you. He really didn’t. But he didn’t have a choice, he needed to keep you away from himself to keep you safe from Fisk. From whoever it was that came after Fisk if Matt survived this. It was for your own good.
“Tell her to stop paying for the rent,” Matt told him.
“ I have ,” Foggy ground out. “And you know what she did? She ran home crying and hasn’t answered my calls in days because of it.”
A grimace pulled at Matt’s face. Why were you holding on so tight to him like this? Why couldn’t you just let him go? He wasn’t that great of a friend. He was nothing special. Why couldn’t you just mourn him and move on?
“She–she can’t know,” Matt repeated. “She’ll find some way to get involved or Fisk will figure out she’s close to us and she’ll get hurt. Right now, Fisk doesn’t know who she is, Fog. She can’t know I’m alive.”
“So that’s it?” Foggy asked defeatedly. “I just continue to lie to her for you?”
Matt felt like he couldn’t stay here any longer, he could feel the dam holding his own emotions in check about to burst. He wanted to turn back around and embrace Fog, to apologize and tell him he was wrong for everything he’d done since Midland. He wanted to run to your apartment and beg your forgiveness on his knees for making you think he was dead. To feel you wrap him in your arms and tell him everything was okay and that you forgave him. 
But that couldn’t happen.
“I–I have to go,” Matt muttered.
Without further hesitation, Matt made his way out of the bar, ignoring the way Foggy was shouting his name after him. He hurried down the alley he’d initially been hiding in, pausing at the end of it when he didn’t hear Foggy pursuing him. 
Burying his face in his hands, he sank to the dirty ground and broke down in tears. 
Tumblr media
Opening the door to Matt’s apartment, you stepped inside and were instantly hit with a chill. You shivered as you shut the door behind yourself before bending down and picking up the stack of mail that had been shoved under the door for this week. You frowned when you saw a few more overdue bills. Even with the raise you’d received, you were starting to really struggle under the weight of two rents and all of your own bills. 
With a sigh you made your way into the empty apartment, heading straight to the coffee table where you’d neatly organized Matt’s mail in separate piles. Taking a moment, you sorted the mail in your hands into the appropriate stack before you unbuttoned your coat. You slowly slipped it off of yourself before draping it over the arm of Matt’s leather couch. 
The emptiness of Matt’s apartment was only further making you feel the weight of loneliness you’d been experiencing lately, your eyes dancing across his sparsely decorated and overly spacious apartment as your eyes watered. Foggy and Karen had been avoiding you lately, always too busy with something to make time for you. They’d been acting strange for the past few weeks and you didn’t understand why. And it had only added to the hurt you'd been experiencing after everything with Matt.
Foggy had suddenly decided to run for District Attorney, which you’d been shocked about but excited for him nevertheless. But he was always claiming he had something to attend and he’d get back with you later. Karen had been saying she was busy with some story she was following, never having time to even chat on the phone. Though recently you'd heard she had been fired after the attack from a fake Daredevil killing people at the Bulletin–and that in itself had further confused you, but both of them had said it was something to do with Fisk and wouldn’t tell you anything more.
You’d been so lonely you’d finally called Adam back up and eventually gotten together with him for drinks last week. He’d been understanding all those months ago when you’d ended things because of Matt’s supposed passing, claiming you just couldn’t focus on a relationship after the unexpected loss of one of your closest friends. Though now it felt like Adam was all you had left.
And Matt’s apartment. Empty as it always was.
You stepped around the leather couch, your fingers running along the red plaid blanket neatly folded over the back of it as you walked. Stomach sinking as your grief once again hit you, you continued your usual tour of Matt’s place, the same as you did when you stopped in every week to collect his mail and check on the bills you needed to pay for him.
You always started in the living room first, pausing to appreciate the obnoxious billboard you’d grown fond of outside of the windows. Then you’d make your way into the kitchen, marveling at how little he actually had in there. Though you supposed it made sense that he hadn’t cooked much with what he spent his evenings doing. Eventually you’d make your way to his bedroom, pausing in the doorway and wondering what it would be like to be standing there in your pajamas in the morning, a cup of coffee in each hand. One for you and one for Matt. Imagining him waking up in his bed, his hair a ruffled mess and a sleepy smile on his face just for you as morning light seeped in through the windows.
Your heart twisted at the thought and you quickly pushed the mental image away, continuing on. You made your way to his closet where his suits were still all neatly hanging, fingers running along the braille tags on each hanger. With a heavy sigh, you turned to leave the room, but your eyes fell on Matt’s dresser. Coming to a stop, you paused as you eyed it for a moment. As if your feet were moving on their own, you made your way over, pulling open one of the drawers. A handful of neatly stacked, neutral colored shirts met your eyes. Fighting back the tears threatening to spill over, you ran a hand over a worn, dark gray tee-shirt on top. It was incredibly soft.
You didn’t know what it was that came over you, but you found yourself pulling the shirt out of his drawer and bringing it up to your nose. It still smelled like him–that clean detergent scent you loved. A choked noise fell out of you as you buried your face further in the material, wishing it was on Matt’s body and not just crumpled between your desperate fingers.
It was a few minutes before you'd managed to regain your composure and collect yourself. But as you closed his dresser drawer, you still held onto the worn tee-shirt in your hands. And even as you slipped your coat back on in the living room before exiting his apartment, locking it up behind you, you never parted with it. 
Tumblr media
You'd spent so much time going back and forth on whether or not you would attend the mass for Father Lantom’s funeral this afternoon that you'd ended up showing up just as people were milling out of the church afterwards. You'd felt bad for having missed it, even if you'd only had a few conversations with him after Matt's memorial service before you'd stopped going to Clinton Church entirely. From your brief time with Father Lantom, and from what Matt had always said about him, he sounded like an amazing man. What had happened to him–whatever it was that had someone attacking a church –had been absolutely horrible. 
But you knew there was a wake being held at Foggy’s family's butcher shop nearby from the announcement you had read in the paper. You hadn't spoken to Foggy or Karen in almost a week now, but you figured you'd end up at least running into one of them there. As you neared the shop, you wondered if they'd continue to ignore you like they'd been doing for weeks now. 
Their silence had only opened a new wound for you, causing you even more pain in Matt's absence. You'd ended up growing closer to Adam over the weeks since they’d been avoiding you because of it, often spending a few evenings a week together. He didn't have answers for why your friends had been ghosting you and cutting you out of their life, but he at least offered the much needed comfort you'd been craving for months. 
Outside of Nelson's, you spotted a few people lingering on the sidewalk talking in small groups. They were dressed in all black and had clearly just come from the mass for Father Lantom at the church. You slipped around a group outside, offering a soft apology as you reached for the door handle beside them. Pulling it open, you stepped inside and immediately side-stepped out of the way of a couple who sent you friendly smiles. As your eyes scanned the busy shop around you, you eventually spotted Karen and Foggy at a table nearby with drinks in their hands laughing with–
Eyes going wide, you swore your heart entirely stopped beating in your chest. You couldn't breathe. Even your brain felt like it hit reset at the sight before you.
Foggy and Karen had been sitting at the table laughing and having drinks with Matt as if he hadn't been missing and believed dead for the past few months. 
Entirely frozen on the spot, all you could do for a moment was stare in shock at Matt laughing at something Karen had said. Mouth dropping open, you watched as all three of them raised their glasses as if in a toast before clinking them together. 
That's when the tears came. Watching all three of them sitting there as if they'd known Matt had been alive for longer than five minutes. As if they were celebrating something. 
And you'd been entirely left out of whatever it all was. 
Heart beating harder in your chest, a small, strangled whimper fell out of you. At the table, Matt's head immediately darted in your direction, the smile falling from his lips as his focus landed on you. Karen and Foggy’s attention soon turned towards you next, curious as to what had caught Matt's attention. Abruptly you turned and pushed the door to the shop open, hurrying out onto the sidewalk.
Throwing a hand over your mouth, you felt the tears steadily falling as you darted away from the building. You ignored the groups of people outside curiously eyeing you as your breath came in fast and sharp. Vaguely you heard Foggy calling your name as you briskly walked down the sidewalk and headed away from Nelson's. Your pace didn't slow as he continued to call after you.
Matt was alive.
Matt was alive .
You had been right. All this time and you'd been right. But why the hell had Karen and Foggy been so adamant about him being dead–wanting you to let him go–when they knew he wasn't? How long had they known and not told you? How long had they known and just continued to let you grieve? To let you keep paying for his apartment? To keep scouring the news about the man in the mask? They’d been telling you it wasn’t Matt despite you noticing the strange fake Daredevil in the news in relation to Fisk’s prison release. They’d made you feel like you’d been going crazy.
And why had Matt not let you know he was alive? Why had he let you continue on thinking he was dead but not Foggy and Karen?
Did you mean so little to him?
Foggy’s voice loudly shouting your name broke through your thoughts and you stopped, spinning on the spot towards him as your tears continued to fall. Foggy caught up to you quickly, his own face filled with guilt and shame. Behind him, you could see Karen escorting Matt, the pair of them rapidly nearing where you'd both come to a stop.
"How long?" you asked Foggy, voice cracking. "How long did you know?"
Foggy winced at the question, his face growing even more solemn. "A few weeks now," he answered softly. 
Your eyebrows rose up onto your forehead, eyes once again widening. Mouth opening and closing for a moment, you tried hard to search for words. 
"You–you knew?" you breathed out. "You knew for weeks? And you just didn't tell me he wasn't dead?" 
"I wanted to!" Foggy replied in a rush. "Believe me, I did! But it wasn't safe for you to know!"
"Are you–" you paused, pinching the bridge of your nose as a multitude of emotions fought to rise to the surface. Anger and relief were fighting at the forefront. "I don't fucking care if it wasn't safe!" you eventually roared at the three of them, Karen and Matt stopping beside Foggy now. "You let me think he was dead for weeks when you knew he wasn't! You both ignored me for weeks!" you yelled, fresh, hot tears rolling down your cheeks. "Left me to grieve the loss of Matt and my friendship with the both of you on top of it!"
"I–"
"No!" you raged at Foggy. "Do you know how much that fucking hurt? To feel like I’d lost all of you? And then I come here and see you all just laughing and having fucking drinks and I'm still in the dark about everything ?"
"We were going to tell you today!" Karen cut in quickly, her voice catching your attention. "We were dealing with Fisk’s release. That was why we knew Matt was back–and he had been a very closed off asshole, too, for the record,” she told you, Matt frowning deeper beside her. “But we were trying to keep Fisk from learning that you were connected to any of us. To keep you safe from him." 
"What?" you asked her.
"Fisk wanted revenge," Matt said.
Your eyes flew directly to him. His voice, after months of wondering if you'd ever hear it again, managed to slightly calm you. For a moment your eyes took in the sight of him standing there–something else you’d thought would never happen again. He was wearing one of his nice suits and his usual red glasses, which meant he must have stopped by his apartment at some point. The one you’d been paying the bills for him for. There were a few cuts bandaged along his face and his knuckles looked torn and bruised, but he was alive. 
He was alive.
“He tried to kill me when he realized I wasn’t dead,” Matt explained. “Tried even harder when he learned who I was. He was trying to go after Foggy, too–which was why he ran for the D.A. position, to make him more of a public figure. And he went after Karen.”
“The Bulletin?” you asked, eyes darting to Karen. “That was…?”
Karen nodded. “And what happened at Clinton,” she told you.
“It wasn’t safe,” Matt said, taking another step towards you. “I only told Foggy because I wanted him and Karen to let me handle Fisk. But he didn’t listen to me and told Karen.”
“Because she was in danger and needed to know,” Foggy snapped at Matt.
Matt’s mouth twitched at Foggy’s words but he didn’t respond to him. Instead he kept his focus on you as he spoke.
“But you weren’t a part of Nelson and Murdock,” he continued, shaking his head. “Fisk never knew who you were. I wanted to keep it that way. Initially I wanted to let you all think Matt Murdock had died so I could go out and be Daredevil without worrying about putting any of you in any more danger. But…” he trailed off, sighing as his shoulders dropped. “I couldn’t do it. I–I need you all. As my friends. To keep me from losing myself to that other part of myself.”
Wiping the heels of your palms over your cheeks, you tried to wipe away the tears. A few were still falling as you stood there. Admittedly you were still pissed–at all of them. Karen and Foggy for keeping his secret even if it was to keep you safe, and you were pissed at Matt for letting you spend months wondering if he was dead or not. 
“I’m sorry,” Matt said softly.
“I’m sorry, too,” Foggy added quickly. “I didn’t want to lie to you. I hated every second of it. You have to know that.”
Swallowing hard, your eyes flew over to Karen when she spoke up.
“I didn’t want to lie to you either,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, too. We really were going to tell you today. After Father Lantom’s wake. We just wanted to make sure the threat of Fisk had passed first.”
“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out,” Matt assured you.
Foggy’s arms raised, opening wide towards you as he shot you a hopeful look. “Can you forgive me, bestie?” he asked. “Hug it out?”
Chewing your lip, you took a step backwards. Collectively all three of their faces dropped at the gesture. Slowly, Foggy’s arms lowered to his sides.
“I just–just need a bit to process this,” you muttered. “I can try to understand why you did it but–but it still hurts.”
Both Foggy and Karen nodded, but between them, Matt’s frown somehow continued to deepen. Your eyes lingered on him for a moment longer, committing the sight of him alive and breathing to your memory before you turned and made your way back down the sidewalk. You wanted to go home and cry before you tried to make sense of all of this. It didn’t help that your body’s reaction was confusing you. You were overjoyed and grateful, but also incredibly pissed and deeply hurt. You wanted to scream at Matt but you also wanted to hug him and never let him go.
You’d barely made it a few steps before something had latched on to your wrist and you froze, head turning to glance down at what it was. Matt’s large and battered hand was encircling it firmly, clearly not about to let you go. Pressing your lips tight together, you tried hard to refrain from crying as your gaze slowly made its way up to his face.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. After that building fell on me and I somehow still woke up alive…I’d lost almost all of my senses. I was in a dark place. And when my senses came back, Fisk had been released and I found myself in an even darker place.” He sent you a sad, apologetic smile. “I didn’t want to lie to you. Didn’t want you to keep believing I was dead. I swear I didn’t. It was just to keep you safe.” 
Your watery gaze tried to focus on Matt’s eyes behind the red lenses. You could feel the tears once again getting ready to spill over in your own eyes.
“I visited Clinton Church every day for weeks after you disappeared, Matt,” you admitted softly.
“I know,” he whispered, that sad smile still on his lips. “I was recovering in the church’s basement that whole time.”
You winced at his words. He’d known? He’d known you’d been there crying over him all this time? Day after day praying he’d come back to you? And he’d been there this whole time? Fresh hurt and anger burned in your veins, another wave of tears spilling out of you.
“You knew that too?” you breathed out. “You were right there and never said anything?”
He nodded slowly, shame and guilt written across his features. As the tears fell yet again, you finally gave in to the mix of emotions fighting inside of you to reach the surface. Your hand slipped out of Matt’s hold before you reached out and pushed against his chest roughly. For a moment he looked taken by surprise at the gesture, but his surprise quickly vanished as he stood there and allowed one of your fists to weakly slam onto his chest.
“Fuck you, Matt,” you cried out in a broken voice. “Fuck you for making me go through that knowing how hard it was on me.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, his own voice breaking.
Your fist slammed onto his chest again. “Fuck you for hurting me like that,” you continued. “For making Foggy and Karen hurt me like that.”
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“How could you?” you wailed. “I thought I mattered to you!”
Matt’s hands were on your shoulders, gripping them firmly as he tried to pull you towards him. You tried to shake him off, struggling against his hold, but he only held on tighter as your fist slammed down onto his chest again, tears endlessly streaming from your eyes.
“You do matter,” he croaked out. “More than you know. You do matter.”
“Fuck you,” you sobbed, your fingers grasping onto the lapels of his suit coat. “Fuck you, Matt.”
Matt’s hands released their hold on you, his arms swiftly wrapping around your shoulders as he drew you into himself. You didn’t fight him this time, burying your face into his dress shirt and tie and letting yourself break down against him. Relief and heartache and love and anger all poured out of you simultaneously as you clung to him, your body shaking with your sobs. Matt had buried his face against the top of your head, clearly crying himself as he clung to you just as tight. You could feel his tears dampening your hair and hear the muffled sounds of his own choked sobs filling your ears. 
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” you begged, shaking your head against his chest. “Don’t make me go through that again.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “I won’t ever leave you again.”
Tumblr media
[END NOTES]
I'm leaving end notes this time because I feel like they're needed (but if you read my fics over on AO3 I always give quite detailed end notes that I don't usually share on tumblr because it's just extra time I don't have trying to get two posts together).
So much happened in this installment though because we practically sprinted through season 3! This fic isn't meant to delve into that season though, but I wanted to include the angst of it in here (don't worry, I have another angsty fic planned for season 3 for another day). Reader was clearly struggling with the loss/absence of Matt for the months he'd been gone in this one. She was also the one paying for his apartment and his bills because she didn't believe he was dead. But she was also the last one to know he was alive--hence the title of this installment! And shit did that hurt when she didn't know why Foggy and Karen were pushing her away for weeks, which only led her back to the attractive vet tech, Adam (in case you didn't catch that). And then she didn't find out Matt was alive until she saw him at Father Lantom's wake at the Nelson's butcher shop. Despite being able to understand why they kept her in the dark, she's still pretty hurt and pissed. Especially at Matt. But clearly, Reader will never stop loving Matt.
I have a couple more angsty things up my sleeves that are getting closer to punching you in the gut next, so be prepared, friends! The angst isn't over even if the confession of feelings draws nearer... I currently don't have a title name to tease for the next installment yet either because this almost 7k beast of an installment took up all my brain space for two days, but I'll share a post about it when I do.
Feel free to scream at me now 🙃
397 notes · View notes
Text
Venti/Barbatos x follower fem reader!
Much like my Smut Soulmate I was nervous for this release since I mainly have scara Simps on here but since they're posting I'm posting! We post together 🥺❤👫
Here's to good fan fiction! 🍷
@hitomisuzuya
⚠Warnings⚠:God complex,superiority kink, corruption, venti being himself, pervert stuff, praise kink, breeding kink, mentions of Alcohol because ya know venti.
Tumblr media
Barbatos, the Archon of Freedom, holder of the Ameno Vision and the weakest Archon according to those who do not live in Mondstadt. It doesn't matter what they say however, to you he is all you need, to believe in, to love, to feel protected. You're a nun in the Favonius Cathedral, ever since you were young you've dedicated your life to preserve, protect and to teach everything Barbatos was about.
You lived among another named Barbara, she's the Deaconess, she is older but not by much. However you've noticed she's been neglecting her dutys, only slightly not something an average person would notice. She seems to be infatuated with the Traveller, sure he is interesting but he didn't peek your interest as much as a certain bard that seemed to follow him occasionally. Unaware of the bards true identity of course you tried to stray from temptation, barely speaking to him unless he speaks first which surprisingly happens often.
The bard known as Venti often runs right up to you first thing whenever the traveller enters the church. You of course speak to him, after all even with your crush on the male it would be rather rude and ungodly to ignore him, not that you would want to anyways.
The bard often talks about anything that comes on his mind it seems, things such as if you tried wine or if you really lived in the church all day and night. Yes you've tried wine, only communal wine however, nothing compared to what the bard had drank in his nights at the winery. How do you know? He often came to the church doors late at night crying out to see you in his drunken state, slurring words and being very touchy. You of course always opened the doors as it was your job to help those in need and even with his constant self destructive habits, he's still someone who needs help. It's unknown rather the bard had a home or family so he usually slept in a pew on those nights, and on the other times he isn't drunk you aren't sure where he goes, though the traveller assures you he's fine.
Today was like many others, quiet and peaceful as you could see the sun's rays shining in through the large windows and the sound of the wind blowing gently outside. That morning Barbara informed you that she would be out for the next week, it was rather strange, she's never left the church that long, however she assured you it was just to spend time with family, with her older sister Jean. So you would be alone to care for the Cathedral which wasn't too hard, not a whole lot happens really.
Around noon the traveller came to the church asking for Barbara, you unfortunately had to inform the man that she was out for a week. He took it well and decided to leave however his bard friend seemed to not notice. After Aether left Venti as usual ran to you and started off on his usual conversations.
"So Y/N, are you really alone for a week? Like by yourself? I can imagine it'll be sooo lonely huh" He said in a slight teasing voice as you was both sat at a pew. "Yes, I'll be on my own however I have all I need for company, the winds Lord Barbatos bestowed upon the city is enough company and comfort" You replied knowing he was probably going to try to stay around, in a fantasy sure you would like him to stay.. and maybe do other th- No! You cannot think this way, this is sinful and will distract you from your purpose. Shaking her head some as you cleared your thoughts you noticed Venti as leaning over, his hand reaching up to your face, you move away some "What are you doing Venti?"you asked with a sigh as he giggled " your face is all red, what could be going through your mind? Nothing dirty I hope~! " he teased as you didn't notice. In embarrassment you stood up sighing "Venti I must ask you to leave as I need to clean the pews and return to my duties, maybe another time we can chat about something related to the church" you said to him with a bit of sass as he only smirked as he got up "Oh sure, I'll definitely be coming back to talk about Lord Barbatos~" he teased before leaving.
Later that night as you was already settled into your bed in the back of the Cathedral you started to close your eyes when you heard the all too familiar sound of someone knocking and banging against the large doors of the church. You thought about not even bothering with it being that your alone but after a few minutes the banging continued along with faint whining, sighing you got up in your silk robes and headed towards the front. You wore white beautiful sleeping robes, no they weren't see through, at least not unless gotten wet but if you remember correctly it's not supposed to rain so no worried right?
Just before you get to the door you hear a loud thunder strike! You looked at the windows and noticed the very heavy downpour, just as you were going to grumble about your outfit you heard the banging and ran to the door, almost forgot he was out there.
Unlocking and opening the large doors you see Venti, crumbled onto the stairs, his clothes soaking wet as he looked up at you pitifully "Y/N~ you took sooo long to get the door today... I'm all wet now.. " he whined, you couldn't help but to feel bad for the boy. After all it doesn't rain often here and definitely never stormed this bad in awhile. You reach down to help him up but only to pull you into the rain too. Great just what you needed, not even thinking on how translucent your outfit must be you're more focused on getting the drunken bard inside, helping him up and inside the church, the doors closing behind you. It's then now that you're soaking wet you noticed how cold the main Hall with the pews get at night, you decided he couldn't sleep here, he would catch a cold or worse. You walk him to the back where your room was, of course you couldn't sleep in the same bed so you where already thinking on taking Barbaras room, she wouldn't mind.
You set him down and start looking in your dresser for something wearable for him, of course after you already given him a towel to at least warm up with.
However the whole time you're digging through your clothes you could feel his eyes staring at you, almost forgetting your what used to be a pretty silk nightgown is now see through thanks to the rain. "Can you not stare so hard Venti? I'm trying to find something for you to wear" you say, not able to look at him in embarrassment.
He shakes his head a smile tugging on his lips as he leans in closer "No, it's just that you're so adorable.. you know that don't you? I'd love to hold you in my arms" the bard slurred as he was right up against you, you could feel his chest, did.. did he take his wet clothes off already??
You turn to face him to see he was only in boxers, your eyes couldn't help but betray you, looking at his body and especially the ever growing tent in his underwear.
"V-Venti! Why are yo-" Before you could argue he placed a finger over your lips, his eyes glowed as marking appeared on to his body, it was then when you could see him for who he was, as Lord Barbatos.
"Didn't I tell you earlier? I would come back to talk, of course it would be a bit selfish since it is about me~" He giggled as he was pressed against you, you could feel him poking you, these feelings of arousal was familiar but not all too familiar, yes you had a life of abstinence but you're human and of course would have those thoughts occasionally.
"Speechless? Not surprising, after all you are meeting the very Archon you've been worshiping all your life, tell me Y/N, do you want to please your Archon? To be my little follower? " he said with lust laced heavily in his voice. His tone was soft but filled with desire and want, you wanted him to kiss you so bad right now.
"L-Lord Barbatos... " you mumbled unable to form words, he let out a low groan at the name, it's been ages since he's been called by his true name, it only serves to intensify his lust. "Yes call me that more, your Lord, your Archon~" his soft lips crashing into yours, his hands was quick to pull the wet nightgown off, he didn't want you to get a cold now would he?
Your body felt hot to his touch, you felt sparks go off in your body whenever his hands moved across them, yet you didn't resist it, why should you? He is your Archon, all these years serving him, unaware he was always there, in plain sight.
He pushed you onto the bed, hovering over you, he is so pretty, his eyes.. his glowing tattoos, his face and everything, he truly was an Archon, your Archon.
You shiver under his gaze as you felt himself moving his mouth against your collarbone, your head feeling dizzy as he bites you harshly as you whimper slightly. A soft moan leaves your lips as he moves lower kissing and sucking on your neck, you gasp a bit in surprise, his hands wander over your body as he presses his chest against yours and you both feel heat spread through your bodies, a small whimper escaping your lips as his hands continue their path downwards, to your core.
It doesn't take long for him to find what he was looking for, his hands begin to push your hips upwards, wanting to feel the sensation of skin on skin between the two of you, you whimper once more, feeling a small nip on your neck as he begins to suck on it, you feel yourself arching your back as he continues to work his magic on you, you feel yourself becoming wetter and wetter, you could feel your legs shaking as you tried to keep yourself still, you could feel his fingers slipping inside you to feel the warmth inside you, it was exciting. Moaning out his name and whimpering for more "Ssshhh... I knew you'd like this~, just give me a moment, my muse" he said as his kisses made their way to your stomach, moving up your torso slowly. You moan quietly, your hands gripping his hair gently as your body trembles uncontrollably.
His slender fingers made quick work of you, it didn't take long for you get close already, moaning, whimpering and begging "My Lord, Barbatos please~! " but of course just before you could release he slipped his fingers out, giggling. He's still the same bard you met, a teasing man.
Before you could retaliate you felt his member press into you, whining as tears flowed, the Archon sympathized with you, whiping your tears as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as he pushed further until he was fully into you.
As he began to move, it wasn't the pain that shocked you so much as the pleasure that made you tremble and let out moans, it was intoxicating really, the sensation was so overwhelming, he thrust harder as he held you tighter as you bucked underneath him, crying out as you gripped his shoulders, you couldn't seem to hold yourself still anymore, a mixture of pleasure and pain mixed inside you as his member went deeper and deeper.
You gasped, gasping loudly as you cried out from the pleasure, he grunted as he held your body firmly against his own.
"Won't you be my lover? My pretty little wife? The woman that'll bring the next Archon into this world~? " He said as his thrusts was harsh against your hips, groans left his lips as he gotten close.
"Beg for me, beg to be filled with my love, to be mine~" he groaned out as his eyes seemed to glow brighter.
"P-please Lord Barbatos, please f-fill me up! " Was all you could say before reaching your climax as well as his own, pushing himself deeper into you, everything happened so fast, he seemed to glow so bright, you fainted from all the stimulation.
.......
Your eyes fluttered open hearing the winds softly blow against the church, you felt sore before remembering last night, shooting up in bed quickly aching and regretting it as you held your stomach some. You noticed you're alone in your room, no sign of the bard.
You get up to get dressed and looked into your mirror to see all the markings, hickeys, bites and.. is that an Ameno mark? On her neck was a glowing mark for the Ameno Archon.
After getting dressed and cleaning up you opened the doors to the church for the regulars to come in, and not to surprising a certain bard was sitting on the stairs with his Lyre, singing a song of love.
Tumblr media
918 notes · View notes
muldermuse · 2 months
Note
love love loving the Two Sinners series! Best I’ve read! Keep it up!!
Wondering what would happen if they got one of those remote controlled vibrators that can be controlled by the other one.
Maybe they can’t see each other for a while so reader wears it all day and gets an unexpected surprise at at awkward moment OR Gator inserts it and reader is in control OR they are both at some event in public and are controlling the devices just to fuck with each other.
CHURCH POT LUCK
CHURCH POT LUCK
CHURCH. POT. LUCK.
nsfw below the cut. mdni. <3
you'd seen Gator quickly in the morning, he was on the overnight shift so could visit you before heading home to Glenda. whenever he came to see you at the ass crack of dawn, he'd always have to decency to drop off a black mcdonalds coffee (he always plays it off that he drank a gatorade and couldn't finish it but really it's because he knows that it's your fav cheap takeaway coffee)
he fucks you so soft and slow on mornings like this. you're both exhausted and using all your remaining energy to make the other feel good. he kisses deep into your mouth to swallow your soft whines for him. his breath is hot against your neck, leaving soft bites against your neck; damp with both of your perspiration. "thought about this all fuckin' night long", it's mumbled quietly against your skin. you both smile to yourselves. neither of you last long and usually, Gator would fall asleep wrapped around you for an hour before heading home. but today he's scrabbling off you to get dressed- it's the Church Pot Luck. the event that takes over his home life because Glenda fucking loves it.
he's lost in his thoughts as he shoves his feet into his boots. considering how he won't be able to sleep when he gets home, how Glenda will have him tasting her bland soup for confirmation of how good it was and how his Father would criticise him for not helping enough. a sudden vibration behind his ear pulled him from his thoughts.
"what the fuck is that?" he sounds exasperated, which is not the mood you wanted to go for at all.
"it's a toy for us, to make the pot luck more bearable" you've wrapped your blanket around yourself, deciding that you'll probably stay in bed naked until it's time to get dressed.
Gator shakes his head, "'s always fuckin' somethin' on this day- you're not even a fuckin' part of the church. why do you go? just to make me miserable?". You grin and nod as you press a quick kiss to his cheek. He smiles despite himself.
you drop the blanket and crawl into the middle of the bed, sliding the small but sleek silicone vibrator inside you. that feeling alone has you flustered and you're trying to stifle a moan before you can speak. "it's a remote control vibrator, that pink thing on the table? it controls the vibrations" you drop your voice to sound as subby as possible, "jus' want you to be in control today, Sir". a deep red flush crosses his complexion as he squeezes his hardening cock through his boxers.
"baby, i don't have time for this i gotta go" he heads out as you shout at him if he doesn't want to use it, you'll invite another date instead.
he texts you 15 minutes later, telling you to wear the vibe.
you reply a few hours later as you pull up to the potluck simply saying, do your worst.
***
you sneak into the potluck. you don't want to draw attention to yourself. a few colleagues from work are standing in a corner and wave you over. they hand you a cup of spiked punch that you sip slowly; trying to calm your nerves. you blend into the conversation seamlessly, almost forgetting about the pink toy nestled against your walls.
until it turns on. it's like a lightning bolt.
you'd neglected to mention to Gator that it has a variety of settings. he didn't just have to turn up it to 11. i mean you had told him to do his worse. what makes it worse, is that everyone notices. your friends crowd around you and talk over each other as the vibrations continue, "oh my god are you okay?", "lemme grab you a chair" and "is this your back again?". you reassure them that you're fine and grab another cup of the sickly sweet spiked punch. you try to focus on the false coconut of the malibu rather than how close you're getting to cumming in this church.
then, it stops.
you take the respite to seek out your tormentor. Gator's arm is around Glenda's waist but his eyes are locked on yours. he's smirking at you, your eyes follow his hand into his pocket and you immediately feel the vibrations start again. it feels more intense than before, if you were alone in your room you'd be screaming. you keep staring at Gator as you bite your lip hard enough to draw blood.
he does this agonising routine throughout the event until finally- you have to sneak into the bathroom and make yourself cum. your hand trembles as you pull the lock across, you softly moan as you pull your underwear down your trembling legs whilst the vibrations continue. you try not to look at yourself in the small mirror hanging above the sink. the cool touch of the sink contrasts the burning touch of your body.
you're so close to the edge, that you're finally allowing yourself to be lost in the overwhelming sensation. and then, again, it stops.
you cry out like you're in pain. there's a small knock on the door and you hear Gator's hushed voice tell you to open the door.
once he's in the cramped room with you, he's quick to put his hand around your throat and he takes your damp underwear in his other hand. a chaste kiss is placed against your forehead as he whispers, "'m gonna make you cum now okay baby? but i've gotta put these in your mouth to make sure you stay quiet. such a loud girl for me aren't you?". your nod is desperate as he pushes your panties past your lips, you savour the tangy taste of your own arousal. Gator quickly pulls your tits out of your dress and runs this thumb and forefinger against your pebbled nipples.
you look at his reflection as the vibration starts again. it's all too much, his strong hand around your throat, your own fucked reflection in the mirror, the panties in your mouth, and the changing pressure on your nipples. it hits you so fucking hard and it feels so fucking good. your legs are shaking, and your whole body is quivering as you see Gator smirk in the mirror at the sight before him.
he switches it off once you've come down, he kisses you, and takes the wet panties from your mouth. he mutters a quiet "fuck" as he slips them into his pocket and leaves without saying goodbye.
69 notes · View notes
visenyaism · 10 months
Note
a detail that always stuck out with me in Saera's story in F&B is the writers passing note that getting any attention in a household with six siblings and while she desired attention and comfort was often ignored and imo it's super overlooked!!!! like of course a really smart and precautious girl like Saera would act out and terrorize people and have fun manipulating people she was Desperate for attention and this all comes to a head after TWO of her sisters died in childbirth and the one on one parental attention she gets is her dad calling her a whore and forcing her to watch him kill one of her friends. then they force her to be an ascetic nun that gets beaten daily. like yeah i'd run off and never want to speak to my parents too. 10/10 Saera escaping the narrative and becoming a power player in Lys all by herself.
idk i got big saera feelings and bigger jae hate and needed to talk about it at someone
it’s so surreal how she’s described as this devil child in fire and blood but then all of her behavior is just clearly a result of the emotional neglect coming from being the ninth child of parents who already had favorites???? The detail that jumped out to me is that she’s described as stealing alcohol from adults in the home at age 10 and regularly being drunk at church every morning by age 12 which is not a quirky trait, that is a CPS call. if a child is exhibiting that kind of behavior plus the hypersexuality at a really young age something evil is most likely going on at home and it just makes her story way more horrific and tragic than i think it is supposed to be read as. even her “girlboss” ending is her getting into sex work at age 16 because she has literally no other option and then staying in the industry forever. free saera
394 notes · View notes
calmcoldevening · 3 months
Note
hello!! was wondering if i could send in a bo sinclair x reader request? maybe where reader gets injured because of another slasher (maybe the hewitts)? like, the hewitts stumble upon ambrose for some reason, and thought getting the reader and sinclairs would be easy food, but the sinclairs and reader (who doesn’t take apart in the sinclair’s… hobbies, but does so this time cause it had to) do manage to defeat them and stay alive
Bo Sinclair x reader
Tw: blood, minor injury, murder, a little bit of cruelty
Tumblr media
Getting along with Bo has always been quite difficult, and loving him is even more difficult. The character of this man could be compared to a restless volcano that could explode literally at any moment. But somehow you managed to subdue him. Every time there was a conflict between the brothers, you just grabbed Bo by the ear and pulled him aside, scolding him. A man will swear at you and call you unflattering words, but you know that he really doesn't mean it. That evening, when you are getting ready for bed, he will come into the room and climb onto the bed, comfortably settling between your legs. His face is on your stomach, his eyes are closed, and you gently stroke his hair. Only a short "Sorry" will come out of his mouth, but this is already a great success. Bo didn't like to admit that he was wrong, but you managed to deal with that stubborn side of him. You're special to him.
You spent most of your time at home. The boys didn't know how to do much on their own, for which, of course, you scolded them, but in the end you accepted it. Although you managed to teach Lester to clean floors and carpets on his own, it was already a great success. In general, almost all the housework was on you. But you didn't complain. After all, you didn't like to participate in the bloody games of this family, so you preferred to clean up the mess.
You've gotten used to it over time. You almost ignored the bloodstains in the house and on the men's clothes (although you forbade them to bring victims into the house) and ignored the screams of another person who became a victim of Bo's "art".
It was an ordinary summer day. Although it had been quite cloudy since the morning, the once bright blue sky was now covered with heavy gray clouds, but the rain did not seem to be going to start. Despite the sad weather, it was still quite hot and even stuffy outside. So you chose to spend the whole day at home. Lester went somewhere in the city early in the morning, Bo left and went to another church service, wanting to remember his mother, and Vincent locked himself in the basement. The only living thing next to you was Jessie, who was always happy to keep you company. The dog joyfully ran up to you, rubbing its muzzle against your leg. You smiled, scratching her behind the ear. She was an obedient pet, although she often rushed at strangers. A protective girl.
You were in the kitchen cooking dinner when out of the corner of your eye you saw a strange silhouette at the front door from the street. Frowning, you put the knife aside and wiped your hands on a towel. Your heart is racing in your chest. At first you thought it was Bo, but the steps were too slow and heavy. You grabbed the biggest knife you had from the shelf and hid under the table, holding your breath. It seemed like minutes before a pair of strong legs in heavy boots appeared in front of the table. You lifted the edge of the tablecloth slightly, hoping to see the stranger, but a few pitiful inches from your Liza there was a chainsaw blade covered with dried blood. Your blood froze in your veins and you reflexively backed away, hitting your back against the table leg. The table shook with a slight crack. The sudden movement definitely alerted the man. The steps became more circumspect and cautious as he moved around the table. You tightened your grip on the knife handle in your hand. Closing your eyes for a moment, you prayed in your mind that the boys would already know for sure that there was someone else in town.
Heavy breathing. You quickly look around and notice how the edge of the tablecloth lifts and a face covered with an ugly mask with long hair appears in front of you. You scream and convulsively crawl back. Getting to your feet, you run to the front door, behind you you can hear the engine of the chainsaw starting. Your heart is pounding in your ears when you run out onto the porch and slam the door behind you. Bam. The flimsy wood of the door is immediately cut through by a sharp saw blade.
Your first impulse was to run to the gas station, but if this scary man was here, then he was probably already on that side of the city. You explode from the spot and run towards the abandoned shops. Considering his size, the man turned out to be very fast. You didn't have time to properly hide behind the shelves at one of the walls of the store, as the glass door immediately opened with a strong creak. You took a deep breath, watching his chaotically moving figure. A man in a leather mask scurried back and forth through the store and literally tore down the shelves with his big body and weapons. Finally, he got to the shelf where you were sitting. A moment later, the wooden shelves above you were quickly cut by the blade of a chainsaw. You pushed the remaining structure at the man, causing him to stagger back a little, and ran out from behind the shelves. Taking advantage of his momentary confusion, you found nothing better than to decide to try your luck. There was this strange masked face in front of you. Without thinking twice, you gripped the blade of the knife with both hands and with one jerk plunged the sharp metal into his face. You pierced a stranger's eye. He growled, stepping back. His hand reflexively dropped along with the work tool as he plugged the wound with his free palm. The working blade of the chainsaw went right along your thigh.
After a couple of long minutes, you were sitting under one of the seats in an old movie theater full of wax figures. Your hip was throbbing, and the adrenaline in your blood was starting to fade, bringing the pain back to your senses. You squeezed the bleeding wound with force, feeling the warm liquid flowing down it. It seemed that all the energy was leaving your body along with the blood. You closed your eyes wearily. It almost didn't matter if that freak was wandering around looking for you. Your head was slowly getting heavier, and at the same time, your vision was blurred. Painfully. Cold.
A dull shot was heard, followed by a strong impact on the wooden floor of the cinema.
When everything went quiet, you felt a pair of strong arms around your limp body. Your head almost reflexively clung to the long-awaited warmth.
Bo gently squeezed you in his arms. His whole body tensed when he saw the bleeding wound running down your leg. The man hurried back home as soon as possible. He sat down wearily on the sofa, arranging you on his lap, and opened the first-aid kit. One hand stroked your healthy thigh soothingly, while the other carefully treated your wound.
"God, my baby.. I'm sorry I didn't come right away. I had to take down a few other bastards first," Bo muttered with a sad grin, hoping you could hear him, "And hey, did you really pick up a knife? You've ruined half of that freak's face. I'm shocked. You're so good. I thought that this is a fragile thing. But no, you are my beautiful and strong person, my love."
The man looked down at you with a smile. He saw that you were tired, both from the chase and from the loss of blood, and now you are snuggled in his arms. Bo held you protectively in his arms, kissing the top of your head. He won't let something like this happen again.
106 notes · View notes
gayfandomnerd225 · 2 months
Text
Pt. 10 of Dead Poets Society Headcanons
Their Childhood
Suggested by @angstyteenpoems
Neil
Neil’s parents never cared much for Neil, if anything his parents viewed him more as a nuisance
His dad was emotionally unavailable and his mom wasn’t much better
He read a lot of books and played with toys to entertain himself
But his dad made him stop early on, saying playing was childish (no shit, he was child)
His mom always made sure he dressed nicely, especially for church on Sunday, every Sunday
Todd
Everything Todd owned was hand-me-downs from Jeff. He didn’t mind. He was pretty convinced if he didn’t get hand-me-downs, he wouldn’t have gotten anything
Even as a child, Todd knew his parents preferred Jeff
Because of this, Todd and Jeff’s relationship is essentially non-existent
Jeff feels sort of bad about it, but he’s not sure what to do about it
Often, Todd was left alone at home, even while young, because his parents would take Jeff somewhere and just, forget about Todd
Charlie
Charlie got anything he wanted from his parents
He knew what to say to get what he wanted
His mom always made sure his clothes were placed on his bed in the morning before school (before Welton, of course)
When Charlie moved to Welton, he was going to miss his mom, and all the things she did
She would bake cookies and let Charlie help her sometimes (hence love of baking from a previous part)
His dad was a workaholic, and was never around much
When he was home, he was usually complaining about work
Charlie has a sister, and they’re quite close
They send each other letters when Charlie’s at Welton, and hang out together when he’s home for summer and sometimes Christmas
Knox
Knox had a pretty good childhood
He wasn’t put into Welton until around the end of middle school, so he was home for a while
He had friends and stayed up late and had sleepovers
His mom loved him and made him tasty homemade suppers
His dad was busy a lot because he was a lawyer
He’d often come home angry, his mom would give his dad a few drinks and then he’d calm down
Knox didn’t know things between his mom and dad were bad, he didn’t see the bruises on his mom and she never told him about them
One of the reasons he ended up going to Welton was because his parents didn’t want him witnessing their fights
Meeks
Meeks was a nerdy kid, he didn’t have many friends until Welton
He spent recesses inside (if he was lucky), reading a book
He’d finish assignments quickly and read while he waited
Both his parents worked, which was uncommon for Vermont in the 50s, but that was how they afforded Welton
Meeks’ dad had high expectations for him
Expected Meeks to be better than he was, but was never as bad as some of the others dads (*cough cough* Mr Perry)
Meeks’ mom wasn’t home much, but when she was, she loved Meeks and took care of him
Pitts
Pitts has siblings
He never talks about them because he doesn’t know them very well
They’re several years younger than him, having not been born until after he came to Welton
His parents pay more attention to his siblings, which he understands, they’re young, but still
When he was home his parents didn’t care much about him
He mostly took care of himself
Making himself lunches and suppers when his parents were home late
He’d tuck himself in and then later wake up when his parents would loudly come home, not realizing he was asleep
Cameron
Cameron was a teachers pet
He didn’t mean to be, he just didn’t get along with kids his own age for a long time
He’d come home from school and read books, then wait until his mom made dinner and then eat. Then he’d go back to his books
His mom was big into gardening and would often talk to him about it
So, although he’d never tell the Poets, he has a green thumb and quite likes gardening and knows a lot about flowers
His dad wasn’t home much. But he wasn’t a workaholic like the other dads, he had to work a lot to make money for Cameron to go to Welton
Which is why he tried so hard not to fuck up his time there
(I think I just have all the Poets daddy issues?)
68 notes · View notes
joohanisms · 8 months
Note
who in xh do you think has a corruption kink?
OMG ........... they got shorter towards the least likely members but i hope you enjoy either way!!!!
xdh + corruption kinks 💭💫
cw: corruption kink, mention of religion, caught watching porn, penetrative sex, possessive tones, loss of virginity, training (what is that even called???)
most likely
gunil
i have NEVER!!!!! seen a church guy without a corruption kink. sex before marriage and all that – as le sserafim said, i wish for what's forbidden <3
he wants to ruin you AND have you ruin him. LET'S SAY you're both virgins.
fine your first time would be sickly sweet, all 🥺 and 🥰, the softest most vanilla making love missionary sex you've ever seen
but the next time – after the guilt of ""betraying god"" goes away – he fucks you, legs in the air and all.
and he gets off sooooo much to the idea that both of you have become tainted; that both of you took that step together, that you'll be forever bonded by this. that somehow, you'll always belong to each other. your souls were painted red at the same time and that's not something you can just forget. you were the one to bring him down from heaven but also give heaven to him, and vice-versa.
this thought is always on the back of his mind whenever you have sex, and it always turns him on.
jiseok
tell me he wouldn't get SO HARD at the idea of introducing you to kinky shit.
you guys have been having vanilla sex – which isn't wrong or bad or boring at all – until you catch him jerking off to a video on his phone.
he's obviously burning red with shame, thinking you'll jump to conclusions and think he's jerking off to kinky videos on twitter because you haven't been satisfying him (which is a lie. you very much satisfy him. he just came across a hot video and got lost in the moment).
but the only thing you can think about is how the girl on his phone screen is doing the NASTIEST shit to her partner.
"jiseok, what are you watching?" you sit beside him, and he starts pulling his underwear up to stall.
"i can explain, baby. i just saw this on my–"
"what are you watching. explain it to me." it sounds more like an order, and his dick twitches in his boxers.
"it's just, um, a kinky video." reluctantly, he turns the screen towards you, watching your shiny eyes scan the video. you look up at him, with genuine innocence in your expression, and his cock twitches again.
"have you done this before?" he nods. "how does it feel?"
he's done for. he'll have to tell you, to show you, how good it is to explore, to figure out what you like.
don't be surprised if his way of introducing you to kink is by doing everything with you (consensually and with a safeword, of course). making you less innocent, corrupted, by the day.
seungmin
we all know seungmin is freaky.
and that extends to corruption kinks.
they're not his favorite, but he does really like to feel how you're slowly becoming as freaky as him.
every time you do something new, something different, he's reminded that he is the one to introduce you to it. he is making you freakier, dirtier, kinkier, and it's alllll his fault. he loves it.
if you were a virgin by the time you started dating him, he would get a little hard when he was reminded that you're pure and innocent and he's going to take it all away.
same as gunil, your first time would be softer – he doesn't want to hurt you or scare you away – but the next time you fuck (which could very easily be the morning after LMAO) he's going rough on you. fucking all that purity away.
you're not a good girl anymore, and it's his task to make you worse by the second ❤️
also, i'm a firm believer that he loves lingerie and other visual aspects of sex soooo if he comes home and you're sitting on the bed, on your knees, with a white lingerie set – something angel themed, even – you better be aware that not only it stays on during sex, he's also going to ruin the lace by cumming all over it.
jungsu
now, jungsu goes a little bit insane when you're having sex for the first time and you look up to him from between his legs and goes "it's not going to fit."
first of all, a delicious stroke to his ego
second of all, he knows you don't have much experience – you're not a virgin, but you're not the ceo of sex either. which means–
"i've never had anyone this big before."
fuck. he wants to rearrange your guts. fuck you so hard you think you'll split in half. fuck you so deep with his big cock your walls will remember its shape forever.
he settles on a "it will fit, baby. if you can't take it today, we'll try again some other time." with a caress to your hair.
(spoiler: it didn't actually fit. even after two orgasms his mouth generously gave you.)
and that's how training came up.
so jungsu is 1) too fucking big for your pussy 2) working you up to take his size and 3) being the one to stretch you out nice and loose.
you're so angelic, such a good girl – and here he is, making you bounce on a dildo that's slightly smaller than him, praising you for "how good you're taking it", "his cock will be next", and "you'll be able to take it in no time".
he's literally making your cunt loose and sloppy, only for him – and he's the only one who ever had to train you to take his cock.
it kinda goes away after that, though. he'll always feel a little hot when he's reminded of your training era but he doesn't care/doesn't have much interest in any other aspect of the corruption kink
jooyeon
he doesn't mind it, most of the time. it doesn't do much for him, but if you get off to it he'll make an effort to whisper some nasty shit in your ear while you take him missionary style
(which is a surprising position; he ALWAYS favors having you on top)
"not as much of a good girl anymore, yeah? couldn't resist me?"
"it's okay. your innocence was never going to last anyway. i was always meant to take it away."
"this white lingerie makes you look so dainty, so pretty. innocent. too bad you can't be that as long as i'm with you."
hyeongjun
look, it's not that he Doesn't like it. he's more about the marking aspect, the possessive aspect.
he's not corrupting you. he's making you His.
in a way, you were already corrupted when you started dating him – he's just staking his claim.
something along the lines of "from now on, i'm the only one who's taking advantage of your corrupted state", if that even makes sense.
least likely
156 notes · View notes
avatarl0v3r · 10 months
Text
how the boys act for church in the morning | hobie, miles, miles e-42, pav
warning’s: language
notes: i’m not saying any of there characters are christian in any way, shape or form but i thought this idea would be funny
Tumblr media
Hobie
hobie is the type to whine and cry about waking up early
hobie would want to stay the night until that morning where he would try to lay in bed and just get left to avoid going to church
your mom looks at hobie like her son, and it’s her job to keep him straight, which he’s grateful for.
it was already 9 am and church started at 10 am everyone was ready except hobie. you walked upstairs to try and get him up much to his dismay.
“okay bee you gotta get ready now” your only response was a groan. “can i just sleep in?” you rolled your eyes “you’ve slept in a hour, no let’s go we can’t be late.” you walked out the room and to your brothers to check if he was ready “khalil,” you said knocking on his door “hurry up.”
you walked back down stairs grabbing your toast before your mom stopped you “goodmorning baby, where’s yo lil boyfriend at?” you smiled at her “still sleeping mama.” she rolled her eyes “i ain’t finna be late because of him, he can go all messed up i do not care but he’s going weither her likes it or not.”
your mama walked up the stairs and to your room where hobie was laying and rippled the blankets off “get your ass up boy, we are going to church and so are you.” she said before through a outfit out for him that she bought for church when he stays on saturday nights. hobie groaned sadly knowing that mama was not getting him up and knowing he would lose this fight.
“i told you the night before ‘you can stay but your going to church with us in the morning’ did i not?” hobie gave her a smile before replying “yes mama.” she smiled at him before leaving the room “be downstairs in 5 minutes understood?” she said eyeing him “yes ma’am.”
hobie stood up listening to your mom yell at khalil before her footsteps faded down the stairs. hobie got dressed and put on his bracelets with spikes on them before walking down the stairs before he even took the last step he heard your mom.
“leave them bracelets here, no need for them in a church,” he smiled “and hurry up and eat so we can leave, i ain’t finna be late become you wanted to sleep in.”
Pav
pav is the type to be excited because he gets to be with you and the family he’s grown to love.
he’s the type to wake up either with you or before you, in most cases with you and get ready.
you turned off your alarm the time reading 8:00 am you sighed and turned over to your boyfriend who was still sleeping. his hair covering his eyes as you moved the lox away so you could see his face “goodmorning pav” you said smiling him smiled back “goodmorning.”
you stood up pulling your alreayd messing hair into a crappy low bun before turning back to him “want some breakfast?” pav jumped at the idea already out of bed and tripped on the blanket causing you to laugh. “what was that? is everyone okay?” you heard your mom from downstairs “everythings fine mama you son only tripped.” you heard her laugh “which one?— wait never mind you mean pav.”
you walked downstairs making you and pav eggs and toast before sitting the plate on the table. to which pav scarfs it down causing your mom to look over “damn boy they feed you at home?” she said with a smile “they do but the foods so good here.”
you both got ready, your mom already banging on khalils door “wake up or so god help me i will pour ice cold water on you khalil.” the door swung open “hi pav, y/n,…mama.” she gave him a look before he nervously smiled and sprinted down the stairs.
pav wanted you to style his hair so you did, it wasn’t much different from his regular look but it was something “do i look okay?” “yes pav” “are you sure?” “yes” “absolutely posit-“ “pav! you look okay i promise.”
your mom smiled at the two of you as you showed her you’re matching church outfits. “lemme take some pictures.”
Miles
he gets up right when he hears your mom
he’s the type to act like he was awake the entire time
you got ready as usual on sunday mornings doing your hair getting dressed and a bit of makeup (if you wear it).
“miles, baby come on get up.” you said shaking him lightly he groaned and turned away “miles get up, i do not wanna hear mamas mouth this early.” he didn’t budge.
you rolled your eyes walking out your room and down the stairs and into the kitchen. khalil was already there and playing on his playstation 5 you rolled your eyes.
“im awake before miles?!” you nodded “sure are, he won’t get up.” khalil snickered “mamas gonna be so fuckin pissed.” “language khalil” “sorry y/n/n.”
you made some cereal and sat down before hearing your mom enter the room “where the hell is miles?” you gave her a ‘girl be oh so for real’ she rolled her eyes before yelling up the stairs.
“miles morales get your ass up and down there’s stairs now.”
there was a bunch of noise almost crashing before miles appeared with a nervous smile “i’ve been awake just laying down.” “boy, you wanted to stay the night which means waking up early for church.” he nodded before grabbing a bowl of cereal.
once everyone finished eating you’re mom called for everyone to take a picture “come here and take this picture,” miles stood there awkwardly. “pose boy, ima send this to ya mom, now come here to i can fix you’re shirt.”
you laughed at him and his sad expression of being all dressed up this early.
miles earth 42
he’s the first one up earlier then normal
he’s rushing you in the mornings, and asking you to fix his braids or redo them before church
miles woke you up at 6:30 am two hours before you actually had to wake up “what miles?” you said sleep engraved in your voice “can you braid my hair again please” he said smiling at you.
you rolled your eyes before sitting up and grabbing the gel and comb from your dresser “sit down, and don’t complain bc your ass is tender headed.”
the rest of that hour was filled with ‘ows’ ‘that hurts’ and ‘you tryna make me go bald’ “your done jesus help me.” he stood up look at his hair in the mirror “my baby braids my hair so well.” he said before drowning you in kisses.
“thank you miles now if you don’t mind i’m going to go back to sleep.” he laughed watching you fall back into a peaceful sleep.
only to be woken up by him shaking you “baby, you gotta get up it’s 8.” you rolled your eyes before sitting up rubbing sleep out of your eyes “heres your outfit we gonna match today.”
you nodded blindly getting dressed to tired to care. you looked in the mirror the outfit was actually cute your turned to miles “you style isn’t bad i’ll give you that.”
he smiled planting a kiss on your lips before heading downstairs you followed him making some food before you both heard your mom “y’all awake” miles responded “you know it mrs. y/l/n.”
“what would i do with out you miles” she said before kissing him on the cheek and continuing getting ready, walking back up the stairs “khalil wake yo ass up.”
you both laughed before miles turned to you “i love sunday mornings with you.” you smiled “i love them too.”
237 notes · View notes
foreverdolly · 1 year
Note
Dolly’s 2.5k Sleepover Celebration !!!
congratulations on 2.5k! you’re so deserving of it baby 💗 !
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
for my request: i would like daddy!dom elvis, number 12, number 55, and soulmates trope!
“I had a dream about you last night” and “I’ve never done this before…”
𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐋 | 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲!𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Tumblr media Tumblr media
prompts: "i had a dream about you last night" and "i've never done this before. . . " with the soulmate trope.
word count: 2.1k
song: power of my love - elvis presley
notes/warnings: this is 70s elvis, so there is a brief mention of pill abuse. i might have taken a different direction than what you wanted, but i know that you're a hopeless romantic and thought that you might have enjoyed this a lil bit more. i hope you like it!
She was always so lovely. Big eyes and a beaming smile that made him melt like morning frost. She was the woman of his dreams- the one that made him fall in love without even knowing her. That was what a soulmate was supposed to do though, right? Make you fall instantly. He felt connected to her, almost as though there was this invisible string that connected the two of them. Elvis remembered the first time he told his parents about the dreams. His father was happy for him: Elvis had his passion with music and a newfound goal, which was to find her. 
She was always so lovely. Big eyes and a beaming smile that made him melt like morning frost. She was the woman of his dreams- the one that made him fall in love without even knowing her. That was what a soulmate was supposed to do though, right? Make you fall instantly. He felt connected to her, almost as though there was this invisible string that connected the two of them. Elvis remembered the first time he told his parents about the dreams. His father was happy for him: Elvis had his passion with music and a newfound goal, which was to find her. 
The same way that Vernon had found Gladys on that hot summer day during a church revival. Two months later they were skipping town, borrowing a ten dollar bill from their friend just to get married.  
“She was four years older than me. . . but I didn’t care ‘bout that none. She was the girl I’d been dreamin’ ‘bout all’a my life- and there she was, starin’ at me from across that ole’ linen tent. She was real. And she was mine. If I could’a married her right then. . . I would have.” 
Gladys wasn’t as happy for her son as Vernon had been. The “dreams” meant that he was growing up. He was shedding the skin of his boyhood, a reminder to his mother that Elvis wasn’t going to stay her baby forever. 
The bout of insomnia started right after he joined the military. It was ironic- in a macabre kind of way though. The only times he felt true happiness was when he was sleeping, and yet he barely got any shut eye. That was when the addiction started, he thinks. Most nights he couldn’t drift off at all without the help of a pill. He needed to see her to stay sane. He kept the bad habit up once he got back to Memphis, and without his mother there to scold him, there were no consequences to his actions. There was no one there to nag him or lead him in the right direction. Because even if he was strung out on sleeping pills and opioids, he was still making money. 
And boy, was he making money. 
The nights got lonely with nobody to spend them with. The house was too big to be empty the way that it always was. It hurt his heart. When Miss Mary removed her apron and turned off the oven to head home, the solitude began to sink in. The hallways got darker, the rooms felt larger, and not even the sound of his piano could drown out the silence. 
Vegas wasn’t any better. Elvis wasn’t just sinking- the man was drowning. All he could do was flail his limbs out, clawing for some solid land to cling to. His mother was gone, him and his father often fought like cats and dogs, and the Colonel wasn’t the same man that he had been towards the beginning of his career. All of his friends were on his payroll, the girlfriends never saw him outside of who he was up on stage, and it felt like Elvis was nothing but a figure. It was almost like he wasn’t a real person. Sometimes it was hard for him to even remember who he was outside of the flashy wardrobe and spotlights. 
Without a microphone in his hand Elvis was just a man. 
A lonely one at that. 
But the woman in his dreams was still out there. She was waiting for him, he could just feel it. He watched her grow up from his mind's eye, and saw the way that time had changed her. The musician knew that he would be more than willing to settle for a friendship- anything. Just so long as he could have her. 
And then it happened. That. . . that thing. 
His eyes searched the crowd just like they always did, wanting to connect with all of the unfamiliar faces. So he sang from the depths of his soul, his fingers trembling as he gripped the mic even harder in his large palm. Elvis wanted to reach out to all of them, and for everyone to see him. 
Really, it was a cry for help. 
Because he was still just that poor boy from Tupelo. And while he didn’t have to stand up on a crate to reach the microphone anymore, he was still putting on the same sort of show. Just a boy and his guitar- destined for greatness. Reaching out for love and acceptance. Desperate. Hungry. Searching. 
And then your eyes met. And Elvis remembered his father’s words. 
“If I could have married her right then. . . I would have.” 
It all clicked into place. 
The singer forgot who he was when he finally stumbled off stage, tearing at his sweat covered scarf and heading towards the doors that led to the casino ballroom. Out into the crowd. He couldn’t stand to be away from you for even a second. Not anymore. Not ever again. He wouldn’t be able to take it. Jerry had to yank him by the back of his white jumpsuit, keeping him from being surrounded by a screaming mob. They would no doubt tear him apart after he put on a show like the one that he had just performed. He could still hear the women’s shrill voices calling out for him. He couldn’t help but wonder if you were one of them. 
“I-I need. . .” Elvis was panting- breathless. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the show or the fact that he had finally found you. It could very well be both. “Orange dress. S-She was in the third row. Bring her to me.” He was practically speaking in riddles, but Jerry knew better than to question him. 
The dyed brunette didn’t want to leave the side stage. He wanted to wait right there until Jerry had finally found her, but he was being gripped at the elbows and numbly ushered over towards the employee elevator. 
Everything after that was a blur. He was taking a shower by instinct alone, and the same thing with getting dressed. By the time that he finally woke up out of his shocked stupor he was sitting on the couch, his wet hair dripping into his eyes and onto his clothed shoulders. There was a knock at the door, which roused Elvis from whatever daze he was in. 
“E.P?” It was Jerry’s familiar voice that called out to him. 
It had the man bracing his hands on his long legs as he stood up to his full height, practically stumbling through the penthouse suite. There was a possibility that you had slipped out of the hotel before Jerry could find you. Or. . . or maybe you wouldn’t want to see him. You could have turned Jerry away, and there would have been nothing he could do about it. The fact of the matter was that Elvis had been in the public eye for years. He had traveled all over the state, so why was this the first time he had ever seen you? He would have moved heaven and hell just to catch a glimpse of you. . . so why? 
But there you were in the doorway, your small frame dwarfed behind Jerry as he acted as a buffer to introduce the two of you. 
Your hands and knees were shaking. You stood there and stared like a deer in headlights as Jerry spoke your name, motioning a hand between the two of you. Elvis repeated your name under his breath, trying it out on his tongue. Tasting it. 
“Do ya wanna come in?” Elvis finally asked after what felt like an eternity of just staring at you. 
In his eyes you were the celebrity, and not the other way around.
You straightened out then, your back rim-rod straight as you tossed a nervous glance up at Jerry. There it was again. . . the fear that you didn’t want to see him. He was terrified that this might be the last time that he’d ever get to see you. It had his eyes searching both of your hands wildly, trying to see if there was a ring. 
What would he have done if there was one? 
Die, probably. 
“Ya don’t have t’come in. . . we can jus’ grab some supper-” 
“N-No. . . I’ll come in.” Your voice was soft and sweet. 
It was his first time ever hearing it. While your face was familiar, everything else. . . that was all new. It would have been horrifically dramatic, but the sound of it nearly had him weeping. He swallowed thickly, nodding his head before closing the door behind you, shutting Jerry out. 
“You know. . .” It was difficult to breathe in his presence, and as you looked up at him you found it hard to look at his face for too long. It was one thing to watch him on television or have his posters up in your room. . . but to stand in front of him was completely different. He was no longer a God up on a grand stage, but a man. A man that was staring at you with the softest eyes.
 You couldn’t help but admire his undone hair, his long bangs wet and hanging in his eyes. He was even more beautiful like this. He looked just as nervous as you currently felt. 
“Now, there’s no need’a be shy. Ya can talk’ta me, promise.” His black velvet voice surrounded you. His blue eyes softened on your face. 
And you believed him. 
“I dreamed about you last night.” It was hard feeling this vulnerable. He was yours, so there was no reason to feel so ashamed of opening up. The both of you were like two sides of the same coin. 
His lips twitched up into a smile, and he was quick to look off to the side and pretend to focus on anything else that wasn’t your lovely face. 
“If I had gotten any shut eye last night. . . then I definitely would’a dreamt of ya too.” And then it was your time to look all shy, your cheeks warming with embarrassment. 
He could have devoured you in one bite.
Elvis took his time comparing your small size to his. He started at your hands, then your height- the way you only reached his chest. You were like a little baby- his baby. The overwhelming urge to protect you was difficult to fight off. 
It was animalistic. Primal. 
“I-I’ve never. . . I’ve never done this before.” You finally spoke up after the silence had stretched on a bit too long for your liking. While you were enjoying the fact that you were finally in his presence, you were beginning to feel nervous all over again. 
He was a famous musician, afterall. He had called you up to his private room. Despite the fact that you were a virgin, you knew what this must mean for him. Still, he blinked down at you in confusion. After a few seconds of putting two and two together he spluttered, his eyes widening. 
“I didn’t call ya up here just’a have sex with ya, honey. I might not look it, but my mama raised a gentleman,” He reached out and took one of your hands in his. The feeling of your soft skin against his own nearly sent him to his knees. “I-I’ve been searchin’ so long for ya. . . I just wanna talk to y-” 
“I want to.” You spoke up, knowing you weren’t going to stay this brave forever. You’d never spoken to a man in such a lewd manner, yet here you were. Letting him know that you had gotten on that elevator all the way to the top floor, all while knowing you were going to have sex with him. Knowing and wanting it. 
“I just need to know that you’re not going anywhere afterwards. I won’t be able to do it-” 
“We could get married tomorrow if you’d like. I know a guy.” It was his turn to interrupt. 
It was the hurried, nearly panicked way he spoke to you that had your lips turning up into a grin. 
And then a laugh escaping you. 
“My daddy married my mama after just two months. I’m not sure that I could hold off for that long. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you.” 
You.
The girl that he had loved even in his adolescence. The woman in his dreams.
taglist: @knoxvillesshoes@cosmorant@ol1viam@simply-sams-things@haim80s@gabbcabb@8hgel@slutt4him@busy-bee-angel-misska@kaitaesupremacy@dazedshoon @4rt3m1ss@cryingabtab@kittenlittle24@austinsrealgf@austinbutlersgirlfriend@clearbolts @dark-as-love@anni-secret-account-75@ab4eva@starcatchxr @julietamidala @obbsessivereader@gwuide@blurredcolour@the-little-red-haired-girl@meladollsims@poppet05@shrekstheloml@randomwriter888@idc123sworld@vane28282@mirandastuckinthe80s@girlblogger2002@rockerchick05@screechingstrawberrysong@simpforevery1@girlabirla@dre6ming@obetrolncocktails@fairyjanes@jensenswinchester@lo-bells @in-my-body-bag@fxntxsix@petrparkrslut@eliseinmemphis @lelifesaver @screaching-cookie@fantuhsise@areuirish @bcofl0ve@mslizziesblog@shynovelist@ssstrangersblog @harrysthecraic@hangmanswhore@jyvnho@mymamalife @melodydior @18lkpeters @memphis-mania @rjmartin11 @artlover8992
and the big daddy crew: @powerofelvis @ggwritesstuff @woundmetender @eliseinmemphis @polksalademma @flwrs4aust @headfullofpresley @cryingabtab @austinbutlersbaby @lindszeppelin @rosaminny
267 notes · View notes
strayed-quokka · 2 years
Text
unsupervised || hwang hyunjin
Tumblr media
» summary: there’s a reason you skip church on sundays, but no one would ever know that reason was your friend, hwang hyunjin.
» pairing: hyunjin x reader
» rating: NC-17 minors dni
» genre: friends with benefits, smut
» warnings: porn with like no plot, reverse cowgirl, creampie, possessiveness, sub reader, dom hyunjin, unprotected sex, spanking, mentions of marking, use of a vibrator, lingerie, form of breathplay (?), chocking, bruising, pet names, degrading names, brief crying, think that's it...
» words: 2,345
» a/n: so maybe i am a hyunjin blog… sue me... funnily enough i was working on my sunwoo smut when i decided to deviate a little… said sunwoo smut still coming though cause boyyy 🥵
Tumblr media
Your family didn’t like Hyunjin. He’d never really given them a reason to dislike him, but your father especially liked to say that there was just something about him. 
When Hyunjin first found out your family's distaste for him, he immediately complained. He was sweet and attentive, helping your mother load the dishwasher after dinner, and even helping your younger brother with bible studies. From the outside, Hyunjin was a perfect gentleman and a close friend of yours, so what the hell was he doing wrong? 
He went to parties he didn’t want to attend if you were going just to make sure nothing happened to you and spent hours on homework that you didn’t understand just so that it felt a little bit easier for you. 
Hyunjin was sweet, until the day your friendship changed into something sinful, and maybe then you understood just what that something was that your father had been on about. 
It had been a Sunday morning and you’d felt unwell enough for your family to let you stay home from church. You weren’t nearly as religious and deep in your beliefs as them, but you still went with few exceptions and little complaint. That day had been an exception, and Hyunjin had come over to make you feel better. 
You’re still not entirely sure how trying to make you feel better resulted in him having his cock inside you, but you got addicted to it and he knew it. 
A few months in and far too many Sunday’s missed, your parents were getting suspicious, and on top of it, disappointed. However, your school work wasn’t faltering (second year of university was going surprisingly well), and your behaviour otherwise was more than perfect.
“What’s the excuse this time?” your mother asks as you come down the stairs, still dressed in your pajamas. You sigh, not meeting her eyes as you go to the fridge to grab some water. 
“I have a big project,”
“And that can’t wait an hour because-?”
“It’s a group project and we’ll be in a call,” a half lie. You did have a group project, but you weren’t doing it today, and your father seems to consider that you’re not telling the truth before he gives in. 
“This is the last time,” you nod, though you don’t think it is. It’s not like Sunday’s were your preferred days to have sex. It just happened to be one of the few times that your family was all out of the house and Hyunjin could wander in the front door. After the time he’d attempted to climb up to your window and nearly fell, that seemed to be the better option.
You wait fifteen minutes after they leave to give Hyunjin the clear, using the time you know it takes him to get here, to change into something you deemed nicer for the occasion. 
You’d bought it just yesterday, a lingerie set you hid under your bed just in case. It was a white corset, tight on your waist and pushing your breasts up and together, with a matching white thong. You liked the way it looked, deeming the price tag worth it as you hear the front door shut. 
“Where are you?!” 
“Bedroom!” you nearly want to add where I always am, genius, but you refrain. Hyunjin liked to be rough with you and you didn’t need to play with fire. 
“I swear these damn stair-” the man stops, his eyes shifting from annoyance to a dark lust as he licks his lips, chuckling lowly as he runs a hand through his black hair, “well, look at you.”
“Thought you’d like it,” he hums in approval, shutting the door behind him and moving closer to you. 
“I got you a present too,” you’re curious now, watching him reach into his pocket before revealing a small bullet vibrator, “I’m going to make you lose all sense.”
He pushes you, hard enough for you to stumble back and fall onto the bed as he throws his jacket off and his shirt over his head, on top of you not a second later. His kisses are hungry and desperate against your lips in a way that excites you, your thighs pushing together from the tension until he’s gripping one of your legs and forcefully pushing them apart, “don’t even try.”
You moan, feeling his large hand grip around your throat as he pulls away, hovering over you, “open your mouth.”
You obey immediately and the amusement in his eyes is clear as he shoves two of his fingers into your mouth, his other hand loosening the grip on your throat while you suck on his fingers. There’s no doubt in your mind that you already look like a mess, but Hyunjin loves you best that way. 
“Imagine if they knew what a whore you are,” you whimper, his fingers moving away from your mouth, down your neck and towards the swell of your breasts. It feels slightly wet from your saliva, and you can feel the arousal cling to your white thong and even along your thigh. 
“Look at you. It’s pathetic,” the day Hyunjin had first learned that you loved being insulted when in such a vulnerable position, marked the end for you. Ever since, he loved to make you feel completely submissive in his hold, especially because he knew that nothing turned you on more. He never missed a second to laugh at you for it. 
Hyunjin pushes the fabric of your corset down just slightly, but it’s enough for your breasts to spill out and for your erect nipples to meet the cold air. He watches you for a second, making you feel smaller while your legs push together and he tsks, “don’t you learn?” 
He practically tears your legs apart, one of his hands pushing your thigh into the mattress with his weight, enough to leave a bruise but you don’t care, while the other moves the fabric of your string thong to one side. Feeling his fingers adjust the piece of clothing and briefly run past your folds makes your eyes squeeze shut, a whimper leaving your throat while your hips push up into his hold.
“Poor baby,” he coos, the familiar mocking tone never leaving him, “it’s even on your thigh.”
You muster the strength to lift your upper body to have a look, but Hyunjin uses the hand that holds your thighs apart to push you back down, hand back on your throat as he squeezes lightly. It makes you dizzy, but you don’t want it to stop, even when he loosens his grip and gives you the chance to signal with your fingers to. You both had your signals, but rarely did you use them.
“You look so pretty like this,” his finger runs over your clit before he spits onto your already glistening folds, using his same finger to push his saliva inside your cunt.
“H-Hyunjin,” he doesn’t answer you in words, rather he lets his hand on your throat move down your chest, his nails scratching the skin. 
“You belong to me,” you nearly cry when he adds another finger, leaning down to suck on your neck, like he needs to mark every bare inch of skin to know that you’re his. 
“P-please,” you don’t know what you’re begging for anymore and it sounds pathetic, the way your voice breaks, but Hyunjin loves it. 
“Please what?” he leans over to one side, and you hear him turn on the vibrator he’d brought, applying light pressure to your nipple. He hisses when you clench around his fingers as a result, and you already know you’re going to come soon. 
“Let me come… p-please,” you beg, feeling his fingers quicken their pace whilst the vibrations continue over your nipples, occasionally more forceful and enough to make you shake. 
“Are you going to come?” 
“Yes! Y-yes,” everything stops. Hyunjin removes his fingers from you and puts the vibrator back down on the bed, and you can’t help the whimper and tears that fall from your eyes, “Hyun-”
“Are you crying?”
Normally, Hyunjin may be concerned, but he knows that your tears are a result of the orgasm you wanted but he wouldn’t let you have, “relax baby, I just want you to come around my cock, is all.”
He stands, removing the rest of his clothing before sitting back on the bed, patting his thigh in a gesture for you to climb on top of him. You do, dragging your body up as he watches you, “shouldn’t I take this off?” 
“No, I want it on,” you nod, feeling his hands cup your ass cheeks whilst you grind against him, his cock slowly pushing into your still clothed folds. Your body trembles as a response, and you swear you may have an orgasm soon just from this alone. He works on pushing your underwear to the side again, letting the tip of his cock move against you slowly, teasing your entrance as he pushes his head inside you before taking the pleasure away again. 
“Hyunjin… fuck me. Please fuck me,” he couldn't say no to that. 
“Turn around,” you do as you’re told, still straddling him as he lets his hand collide with your ass cheek. The sight makes him nearly lose it, and he decides to lose his resolve and push his thick cock inside your cunt. 
“F-fuck, how are you always so tight?” you groan, letting out shallow breaths as you try to adjust to his size, though he barely gives you much time before he’s bringing you further down onto his cock, “good girl.”
You mewl at the praise, sat over his hips as you lean onto his legs. He loves the way his cock has completely disappeared inside you, and if it were up to him, he’d move in a heartbeat, but he knows you always like to move first when it comes to being on top, and he respects what you want even if his words towards you say otherwise. 
When you first move, his eyes shut tight and he hisses, feeling you clench around him again as you begin bouncing on his cock, slow and careful first before becoming more comfortable. It’s when you begin to quicken your pace that he can’t take it anymore, gripping your hip with one hand before slapping your ass with the other. You clench around him every time and he smirks, a deep chuckle vibrating in his throat, “you like that?” 
But he already knows the answer, seeing you sink down on his cock drives him wild, but it isn’t quite enough of what he wants. 
He wants to make you scream. 
Hyunjin uses the strength he has to bring his hands around you to cup your breasts, using the grip he has on you to pull you down onto him, arching your back at an angle that has him deeper inside you than before, and he pushes his hips up enough so he can replace your thrusts against him with his own. 
“Oh god. Hyunjin!” he’s relentless, fucking up into you as you grip the sheets and try to steady yourself but it’s impossible. You let him be the only thing that keeps you in place, pulling you down further by your hair and going deeper. 
“Mine. You’re all mine, got it?” you nod, letting him grope your breasts while his other hand finds your throat again, cutting off your pathetic cries and replacing them with mewls and whimpers of pleasure, “you take my cock so good, fuck.”
He releases your breasts and fumbles with something, and it takes you a second to register that he’s reached for the vibrator and that it’s now teasing your clit whilst he’s fucking into you, and it’s embarassing how quickly you come, screaming his name when you do. 
It’s the most intense orgasm you’ve had in your life and Hyunjin feels it too, the way your whole body shakes viciously against him as he tries to keep you steady, still thrusting into you until his own orgasm follows yours, his cum spilling inside of you, a low growl ripping through his throat when he thrusts up one more time to keep it stuffed inside you. 
You both don’t move for a minute, mostly because you’re both so spent that you have to remember where you even are, and Hyunjin is incredibly careful when he lifts you off him, your muscles crying out as you fall next to him. He pulls you into his arms, though he knows it’s only for a little while before he has to leave and come back later under the pretence that he’s visiting you for the first time that day, supervised.
“They’ll be back soon,” he says, but you want to ignore it. You don’t want them to come back, but it’s not a choice, “you should shower.”
“I don’t want to,” he sighs, gently pushing you away from him though it breaks his heart a little when he does. 
“Go shower. I’ll hide the evidence,” you laugh, hitting him lightly though it’s rather pathetic with how your energy is completely wasted. 
You listen to him anyway, standing under the shower and cleaning your skin, and when you come out, your bed is freshly made and your window is open, a floral scent in the air. There’s also a sandwhich on your nightstand with a note, and you realise he must’ve left before he could say goodbye. 
I heard the car so I ran for it. Forgive me, I love you :)
You laugh, shaking your head at the idiot you call your friend, but you’re also relieved at his attentiveness for the noise downstairs tells you you’re not home alone anymore. 
Hours later, you nearly curse Hyunjin for the knowing smirk he gives you when sat at the dining table with your parents, knowing it’s exact intent. 
He’s wants to go again and this time, he doesn't care that your family is home. 
Tumblr media
i am not a hyunjin blog
comments and feedback appreciated. i'm on a writing streak so i'll likely be back with more filth soon also excuse the banner i'm tired and can't afford photoshop anymore 🤧
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes