#and again it just results in me and all my irls having like a Neutral Internet Voice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tavwrote · 7 months

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heya ✌️ i'm tav, i'm 23 years old, my timezone is est, i've been in the rpc for ~10 years, and you could pour soup in my lap and i'd probably apologize to you. if the way these are worded makes me sound a little harsh, it isn't meant to come off that way!! i've just been in the rpc for too long to be vague or lenient. that said, a few rapid-fire rules before we get into the lengthier ones that actually need explaining:

— don't follow me if you're any sort of phobic towards any group of people. — mun =/= muse, i don't condone everything my muses do, you get the drill. — vagueposting / guiltposting is an instant block from me. it's not cute. we're all adults here, let's communicate and act like it. — don't rush me for replies, period. rushing me for a thread at all will result in me flat out dropping it. — there are both irl and animated faceclaims to be found here. if you aren't chill with that, don't follow. — if you ship kaeya and diluc or are otherwise "indifferent" to it / people who write it, that's also a block. let's not be gross, please.

[ 1 ] for blogs that i can’t see myself interacting with, i will soft block you to keep my followers clean. personal blogs will be hard blocked immediately unless a sideblog is attached to it and i can easily see that your personal blog is a hub. note that i rarely follow first ( unless you're someone i'm already comfortable with ), and it will take me a little while sometimes to decide if i want to follow back. give me a few days at a minimum. do not unfollow and follow again and again to get my attention. i will just hard block you and call it a day.

[ 2 ] i'm neutral on callouts. if i see them and think the proof provided in it is actually valid, then i'll reblog it under my psa tag and leave it at that, no further discussion. it will not go under "drama tw" or anything of the sort, because if it's serious enough, it isn't petty drama. it's a genuine warning passed to other members of the community so they can make their own opinions about. that said, i also believe people can change. if there is proof of that, then i see no reason to hold past mistakes over someone's head.

[ 3 ] i softblock liberally if i feel it necessary, but "necessary" never means i have a personal problem with you, promise. that's reserved for hardblocking, aka personals and the exceptions. on the off chance you think maybe tumblr has un-mutualized us because there was a rare glitch in this perfect website's code, feel free to follow again or even just ask me about it, i don't mind.

[ 4 ] i will only write with 18+ muns. if you follow me and are a minor or your age is not listed clearly on your blog, i will soft block you immediately. do not lie to me about your age, you will be hard blocked if i find out.

on a similar but less serious note, i also don't follow if i can't immediately see an alias. just...kinda wanna know who i'm following, is all.

[ 5 ] there are a lot of orginal characters here, and they will always be priotized over my canon characters. i'm not going to force anyone to write with them, obviously, but they are here to be interacted with, so. if you don't like ocs, sorry, not the blog for you. <3

[ 6 ] i get that plotting is kinda important for some people!! however, rarely will i ever fully plot a thread, and i heavily prefer using memes to interact. now, plotting for the general vibe of the thread and dynamic between characters? absolutely!! but frankly, if i relied on completely plotting threads, i'd kill my creativity and get even less done than i already do. i'm here for a fun time, not a stressful and / or long time, so please be aware.

[ 7 ] speaking of relying on memes, send me several at a time! you're probably more likely to get a response if you give me variety to work with. if i get a meme i don't think i can work with, i'll probably send several back to you to make up for it. just so things don't feel lopsided or something.

[ 8 ] when sending in memes, remember to specify who you want. if you don't specify or don't message me somehow to let me know who you want for that ask, it will not get answered.

[ 9 ] i'm not going to pretend like there aren't people who i will prioritize responses to. that's not me being "clique-y", that's me being comfortable with people i've known for ages. if you think otherwise or have that jealous roleplayer mindset, leave. leave so fast. yikes.

[ 10 ] i am 23 and most of my muses are adults, so nsfw content is likely to show up here in some capacity. when it does, it'll be tagged as "nsfw //" ( or "suggestive //" if it's only implied ). however, i'm likely only going to write those topics with people i'm close to. i shouldn't have to say this, but nothing nsfw related is going to happen with any underage muses i write.

[ 11 ] anon hate is cringe, so if you send it, it won't get a response from me unless it's to make fun of you. at this point i expect most of us to know not to answer it seriously otherwise the sender is just being encouraged, so if i keep seeing it being answered / talked about on the dash ( unless it's being poked fun at ), i'm probably just going to soft block for my sake because. y'know, you didn't wanna get the negativity, i don't wanna see that negativity, etcetera.

on that note, untagged negativity will also lead to me unfollowing. untagged posts in general will lead to me unfollowing if it's a frequent thing, honestly.

[ 12 ] with how difficult tumblr has made it as of late to properly source things, i have become significantly more lenient when it comes to people reblogging memes and musings from me, as long as it isn't like several posts in a row. that said, i expect this understanding to be mutual. i'll always try to reblog from the source if i can, but if not, it'll just have to come from whoever slapped it on the dash.

[ 13 ] if you need something tagged, tell me! i’ll do my best to remember to tag what i need to, but please remind me if i happen to forget. the system i use is just "trigger //". now, if you use fancy tags for nsfw posts or posts that otherwise need a trigger warning and refuse to adjust if confronted about it, that's getting a hard block. it isn't difficult to be respectful of what people need tagged. the refusal to do so for your aesthetic is kinda fucked.

as for what i need tagged, all i ask is that visuals of sunflowers are tagged appropriately. i would also appreciate detailed mentions of terminal illness being tagged, specifically cancer, but that's more of a squick than a trigger, so that one is less of a problem.

[ 14 ] obligatory "let's just have fun" rule here, we're all on this hellsite to write our silly little guys, it really isn't that serious. just be decent, and we'll be chill!!

#( rules. )

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byunbaekhyunie · 9 months

Note

Hey! May I ask, as a non-gif maker, what exactly is the problem with the coloring? What is good/bad lighting? How do you correct it?

I see a lot of creators mention coloring, so I’d like to learn more❣️

of course ! this can get quite convoluted so i’ll try to keep things as simple as i can but, it did get quite lenghty so i put it under the squiggle

coloring, which is just shorthand for color correcting/grading, is the process of altering the colors of whatever source material you’re working with in post ; I’d say it accounts for maybe.. 50 to 75% of the final visual impact of the gif so it’s quite an important step but it’s an art more than a science so every cc color corrects in their own way and because of that, there are no definitive answers to your questions because there is no right or wrong way to grade or even light a scene (unless you’re perpetrating racial discrimination lol), it just depends on what end result you’re trying to achieve ! but i will offer my personal perspective and hope it's helpful to you ^^

so what is good and bad lighting... yk i wish i could say smth simple like "i like natural lighting better than studio lights" but thing is, sometimes you have the potential for great lighting but because the camera settings weren't properly adjusted, you get mad overexposure or super high contrast or whatever it is, the two are codependent so really my answer would be that i like when the footage i'm using was shot in log with little to no alteration because no matter what the lighting was, i should have enough data to get me where i want to be. but that's hardly ever the case, and that's what makes color grading often a lot harder for gif makers, is that we have to work on top of however many layers of destructive alterations the footage went thru before getting to us

that being said, i hate a color cast they’re a pain to correct properly. which brings us to our current case in point, the cursed 230714 mubank stage. this is a raw screengrab from the file after encoding

as you can see it's VERY pink, the color balance is all wrong, if you look at the robe you can tell the blacks are way too red and the highlights in his face are unnaturally pinkish, and yes that stems from the fact that they were using red and white overhead lights for this stage but also, i think i can safely say it probably got exasperated in post, on top of the skin smoothing filters they use but that's a whole other can of worms x_x it's also a lot of contrast to start with and it's slightly overexposed

btw i should say that i like well lit neutral tones, i don't like when things are too warm, too cool, too saturated, too contrasty or too dark, ideally i want my gifs to look as if you were watching the thing irl with your own two eyes, that's what i'm aiming for when coloring. again, to someone who doesn't mind smth a bit more stylized, this probably wouldn't be a big deal but to me, that's bad lighting and bad postprod

so how do you go abt fixing it? well, beats me ! i've tried a few different things and it's nearly impossible to readjust the balance to restore the flesh tones to smth more natural.. here's the first coloring i did, in split so you can compare better

i don't like it because it's too bright still, colors are way too saturated, there's too much cyan to counteract the pinks and his skin looks too yellow to my liking

and there's coloring two

i like the overall balance a lot more in this one but the highlights are still way too yellow but i can't neutralize them without having the whole thing turn blue i was working on a third attempt but ps crashed and i don't feel like troubleshooting anymore ><

i hope that was instructive in any way ! sometimes i feel like i'm a bit scattered and idk if i'm making much sense but don't hesitate if you need me to clarify anything !

#anonyme #courriel

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zackcrazyvalentine · 3 years

Note

i am the anon who asked earlier about the character limit ! i’m ready to send my ask now-

so could you write something about a female mc (or gender neutral it’s up to you !) that doesn’t take a shit form anyone ? like when someone bother she just “tsk” before threatening them and the bois are like “wtf that was kind of hot tho-“ .

i can see them just simping for her like we simp for them and it’s making me laugh-

also i’m not really sure if you write for them but a small reaction of perhaps side-characters to her ?

i’m really asking for too much skdkdjdksowkw-

thank for reading it and i hope i’m not bothering you ! ( ´ ▽ ` )

Alright, for this one, anon allowed me to pick some Twst guys to react to MC

But, ahem…. hope they’re (and y’all are) happy with the way I carried this out

Neige (& dwarves) + Che’nya are also included, as they wished to see side characters react to this MC too

Let’s get started (bc it’s loooong)~!

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY, EVERYONE!! 🥳🎉

-- -- --

OVERVIEW

Heartslabyul: Riddle is very surprised at her behavior and may scold her for it, but he secretly admires the confidence and will to stand up for herself. Trey is also taken aback, but well… if that helps her get through NRC, fine by him (he pretends not to see). Cater SIIIIIIMPS like duuuude THAT ATTITUDE IS WHAT HE DESIRES TO HAVE AGAINST HIS SISTERS (she’s his role model now). And man, do I even need to say what Ace and Deuce think? PLAIN FUN, and they simp, Deuce a little more than Ace.

Savanaclaw SIMPS and simps HARD. Ruggie and Leona due to females in Afterglow Savana being overall more respected. Not to mention IRL lionesse are in charge of hunting and female hyenas are the dominant ones in pairs. Jack I see as someone who admires people who are strong and can stand for themselves, and a no bullshit MC is wow… but perhaps he thinks maybe she could be a little more polite.

Octavinelle is a little hard to read. Azul first is very surprised and a bit offended, but once he finds out she acts this way towards everyone and anyone… Be ready to become his 3rd bodyguard lol. Leech Twins adore to annoy her, Floyd provokes her more with tugs and shoves while Jade can just throw ANY comment her way with that smile to trigger the instinct; she’s become their little plaything of sorts.

Scarabia: Kalim is SHOOKED!!!! The first time he hears her comments leaves him with a surprised pikachu face. Jamil is startled a bit, but man… SIMPS, and is like "you speak my inner thoughts".

Pomefiore: Vil is also VERY surprised, but admires the way she so willingly defends herself with only words and harsh glares (anger looks very pretty on her). Rook SIMP, yuuup. He's amazed at how just one comment and death stare from her has magic wielders cowering in fear, gets goosebumps from excitement when those are directed at him. Epel simps too! Like DAMN HE WANTS TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF LIKE THAT!!! No more stupid etiquette classes, time to be tough! (Vil quickly turns his plan to dirt tho lol)

Ignihyde: Idia is ?????? At times, he's very intimidated by her, but on other occasions he's ready to talk back (this especially when he's communicating through the tablet). Ortho is shook, too. For someone who comes from another world and is scared by many possible scenarios in this Wonderland, they're surprisingly brave. He likes her! Get ready to be his Big sis

Oh man, Diasomnia… Malleus is surprised when he first sees the change of attitude, since she's nice in his nightly visits to Ramshackle, but very soon he'll be like "I like this human" Slowly becomes her simp. Lilia is VERY amused by her behavior and sometimes likes to provoke her. As soon as a threat is thrown his way, however, he'll be ready to throw one back as he smiles brightly. Silver is surprised, they all cower before her, how?! He may or may not simp, but he absolutely looks up to her (wishes to be more assertive like that). Boy oh boy… Sebek… SHOOKED; just try to say something rude to his Young Master, get ready for the loudest "EXCUSE ME?!" and following rant. Shooked and shooked TO THE CORE.

ALL the staff are very irritated by her antics, but the ones more vocal about it that have a little back and forth with her are Crowley and Crewel. Sam just laughs it off, besides it's rare for her to threaten him (mainly bc he gives special discounts for her).

BOY...RSA… Neige is SHOOKED, but rudeness never stopped him from making friends and pull a smile out of them (well, ya better stop right there bc she's ready to PUNCH). Needless to say, majority of dwarves are surprised too… except, Grant who just chuckles and says like Jamil "speaking my inner thoughts". Che'nya acts as if it's the most normal thing, doesn't flinch back or anything ("we're all mad in our own ways~ it's the norm here")

In the end, all of them simp for her, one way or another~ (and let her get away with a handful of stuff bc simps)

Heartslabyul

"Aren't you the cutest little thing~? Look at your lil' nose sniffing my finger so adorably!!" The [color] haired girl gushed at the hedgehog in her hand, carefully petting its colorful quills.

Someone sighed in irritation at her behavior, "Stop that! We're not allowed to pamper the hedgehogs like that, so cut it off!"

[Color] eyes narrowed at the intruder, "And who here says I care what you, or the rules, say? They're animals, pets practically. You need to show them affection for them to live long, happy lives, dumbass."

At the small scene, Trey interrupted, “Let's please act accordingly. Come on, we need help painting the roses." The 3rd year signaled the other Heartslabyul student to follow.

"What?! No, not fair! How come she's not getting punished for this when we get scolded for it?!" He raised his voice.

"Hey now, leave [Name]-chan alone, she isn’t bothering anyone. Be a good kouhai and listen to Trey-senpai. Remember vice dorm leader is just as respected as dorm leader here." Cater cut in, trying to somehow make things lighter.

"Bull-!" Before the guy could even finish his sentence, Riddle appeared.

"What seems to be the matter here? At this rate, if you keep getting distracted with unimportant things, we won't have our preparations ready." The redhead followed their gazes to the girl sitting on the floor surrounded by a rainbow of hedgehogs.

"Ah, I understand." Riddle nodded.

"Thank-!" However, the student was once more cut off by the 2nd year.

"[Surname] was appointed by me personally as hedgehog caretaker. Her activities consist of cleaning cages, feeding, and the important task of pampering them with affection and love." Heartslabyul's dorm head explained, "We do play croquet frequently, and many 1st years don't treat our animals superb. Not to mention, it is said the Queen of Hearts herself would pamper her hedgehog just like [Surname] is doing… Admirable, don’t you think?"

"Are we clear now?" Slate grey eyes looked sternly at his dormmate.

Defeated, the boy accepted. "Yes, dorm leader Rosehearts."

"Go help Cater and Trey with rose duty." Riddle dismissed the boy.

On his way out, a certain troublesome 1st year made an indirect comment.

"That's why you get informed before complaining about things~" Ace teased.

Deuce smacked his friend on the back of the head, "Shut it, we committed the same mistake when we first saw [Name] baby talking the hedgehogs."

"H-Hey! There was no need to reveal that!"

Savanaclaw

Full cafeteria, the worst scenario ever. Not to mention both [Name] and Grim were starving.

So, when she saw an opportunity to get in line for the (oddly) short line for [fav. food], she did. However…

“What the fuck’s up with you?! Just because you’re a girl ya think ya get special treatment, dumbass?!” Some random rude student said.

Oh, bad move, idiot.

All [Name] had to do was throw an icy glare their way and turn away slowly for the boy to tremble in his socks.

Human and Grim picked their full and finally headed to any empty spot available, which resulted in them sitting with the Savanaclaw students, who watched the scene unfold.

“[Name]-san, that’s some temper you’ve got-” Ruggie began talking, but was immediately silenced by the same icy stare.

“To hell with that, I am hungry and ready to destroy the world, so better keep your mouth shut to see your future.” The girl grumbled, taking the first bite of her precious meal.

Three pairs of ears flattened in shock, looking at one another to agree on what they experienced right now.

“Wait a second…” Ruggie thought, breath hitching after receiving such cold glare.

Jack kept a watchful eye as he drank his water, strange warmth crawled up his face. “That was…”

Leona, for once, looked awake enough. Green eyes with a tinge of respect reflected in them, teasing smile slowly developing on his face. “Seems like the herbivore has some fight in her… Nice, very nice…”

“That was… very attractive…” The trio gulped down whatever they were eating, before averting their gaze elsewhere to hide the blush. Except Leona, he chuckled silently before looking down at his plate to recover from the little display of power from her part.

Meanwhile, the otherworldly student and cat monster shared a confused look. “Weirdos… Do they enjoy seeing me eat? Yeah, not sitting down with them again.” [Name] decided.

Octavinelle

"Keobi-chan~!"

"Not again…" [Name] grumbled between teeth. Just as she thought she was out and away from the whole Octavinelle trio, these two come again for her.

"Let's go, koebi-chan! Azul wasn’t done talking with you~” Floyd grabbed onto her arm and tugged.

“You two never know when to stop, or do you?” Grim swiped at Floyd’s hand as best he could from the girl’s shoulder.

Then came the chuckle she hated most, that instantly ignited that fight or flight instinct in her. “Please, Floyd is simply stating the truth. Azul is adamant in speaking to [Surname]-san, it’s only expected of her to allow him some time. After all, he was so gracious to lend his help when she most needed.” Jade linked his arm with her free on and began walking.

“Oi! Get your hands off me! I’ve heard enough from Azul! I’ve declined the offer more than enough times for it to get through his head!” The [hair color] stood her ground as much she could, but the two towering eels still dragged her to their destination.

Floyd laughed, “Little shrimp fighting for her life when she’s already lost~” He shot Jade a look and his twin immediately knew what he wanted to do. They lifted her from the ground and began swaying side to side.

“What the hell?! Let me down, let me go! I’ve had enough of you! We’ve helped Azul more than enough already!” [Name] and Grim were left to flair and yell more protests while the twins chuckled and laughed at their predicament.

Eventually, they arrived at Octavinelle and the two-halves-of-a-whole students were plopped down onto the couch inside Azul’s V.I.P. office. The tweels left them with those sinister pointy teethed smiles of theirs, sending chills down the duo’s spines.

“Now now, [Name]-san, Grim-san, do keep your voice down. I’ve got a deal much better than our last offer. Hear me out, now would you?” Azul spoke, suave and sleazy as ever.

“No, cut it out already! Just accept I won’t-!” Her complaints were interrupted by the octomer’s firm statement.

“One meal!” After noticing he had their attention, the dorm leader continued, “One free meal for the two of you each day, along with some Madol… All for [Name]-san’s intimidation services and Grim-san cleaning dishes.”

“Make it TWO meals and it’s a deal!” Grim quickfired.

“NO! No, no!” The [color] eyed refuted. She leaned close to Ashengrotto over the desk, eyes narrow and eyebrows furrowed, “...Make it two free meals AND drinks daily, with a nice pay… and throw in some deluxe tuna cans from time to time…”

Grim perked up at that, eyes shifting from human to merman as they stared each other down to see who relented first.

Azul sighed, “Very well…” A gloved hand came forward, “Have we got a deal?”

[Eye color] looked into baby blue, before nodding and shaking his hand. “A deal it is, but” [Name] leaned even closer, right on the gray haired’s face, “Let it be known that just you fail once on giving the pay and it’s over, Ashengrotto.”

He snorted, “Oh, no need to worry about that, I always hold onto my end of the contract.” Taunting gaze mocked the [hair color], “The thing is, can you?”

“This damn Octavinelle people..!” [Name] felt fire light up her veins from anger and irritation at his words.

Scarabia

“Grim, look! We once more have a delicious cream cheese for you to enjoy with crackers!” The ever excitable Kalim exclaimed, reading a pair of crackers to feed Grim.

Before his hand could get any close to the scared cat’s face, [skin tone] hads grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Kalim, how many more times do I have to tell you?! Stop that!” An exasperated sigh followed her words. She let go of his arm.

Kalim (and pretty much all of Scarabia) looked at her. “No, not those big round cute ruby eyes…” The girl thought, feeling herself relent already. “Only for you… only for this ray of sunshine will I try to be less on the fence…”

[Name] cleared her throat, “W-Why don’t you… try asking Grim properly if he would like some first, instead of just shoving the food in his mouth!” An awkward giggle left her lips. “Was that better?! That did not sound better, at all! No!! It was harsh!”

Silence carried on afterwards, making her feel even more awkward and nervous of her actions. There’s a first time for everything.

“She’s right on that. You understand, don’t you, Kalim?” Jamil broke the silence, turning everyone’s eyes to him now. “As host, you should offer your visits amenities correctly, not force them upon them.” The dark haired boy remained focused on his plate of curry while he informed his dormmate.

“Oh! Of course, of course!” The dorm leader snapped out of his zoning out, “Apologies! Grim, would you like to try the cream cheese?” Kalim recovered his pep, bringing close the plate of cheese and crackers to Grim.

“Ah… No, thank you…” The monster declined. “However… I would like to try the dates you have over there.”

“Sure, no worries! Try as much food as you like! This banquet is for everyone to enjoy, after all!” Just like that, everyone’s spirits were lifted, and the party returned to its full swing.

From across the table, Jamil threw the [hair color] a smirk and a nod. She looked away with a faint blush on her cheeks.

Pomefiore

“She dares show her face here, dressed like that?”

“And with a stinky, dirty raccoon hanging from her shoulder.”

“As always, these pretentious idiots…” [Name] tried to steel herself, taking deep breaths as she carried on towards the Pomefiore common room. Vil asked for her presence here for some idea he had in mind and wanted to carry on.

“Fuh-nyah, this place always smells like perfume… Has me sneezing all over, eugh.” Grim rubbed his nose to ease the itching.

The girl giggled lightly, petting her companion. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the smell in a few seconds.”

“Ah, Trickster [Name], Monsieur Hirsute! Bienvenue à Pomefiore!” Rook welcomed them, as colorful as ever.

“[N-Name]? You’ve been… summoned here, as well?” Epel seemed surprised to see his friends here.

Vil stood up from the throne, “And just in time you’re both here. Could’ve done with a few extra minutes of head start, but at least you’re here and didn't arrive late.” The elegant 3rd year went over to explain his idea to the 1st years.

However, as the dorm head explained, the comments continued…

“Seriously, can’t she take the hint she’s not wanted here?”

“As a girl, she should know to take better care for herself.”

“Alright that’s it.” The Ramshackle prefect took a very deep breath and interrupted Vil, “Yeah, uh, apologies for cutting you off, but let me take care of some matters.” Turning around, the [color] haired looked over at the group that kept saying unasked opinions.

“Hey, you pompous people with deliriums of grandiose!” At the start of her screaming, Vil and Rook braced for the worse while Epel drew a very big smirk.

Everyone kept their dignified faces, sure that their dorm leader and vice head would have their backs.

“I dress bad? I don’t take care of my skin, nails, lips, hair? Grim isn’t always smelling nice?”

“Hey! What with that, [Name]?!” “Shush, you…”

“Just because I’m a girl you dare assume what I should act like?!” She scoffed, “Well, let me see you survive in a world far different than your own, disoriented and with no means to go back, live on a tight budget along with your equally as disoriented monster friend, with the only clothes you own being very mistreated and old uniforms students left in a rundown dorm!”

Everyone looked at her and murmured.

One of the students spoke up, practically laughing at her face, “What? Want us to feel pity for you? Sounds to me like you’re not trying hard enough.”

Grim himself was ready to burn this scum to a crisp, but thankfully, someone else stepped in to defend their friends.

“Oh? Like you’ve clearly not been doing?” Vil glared at the boy harshly. “Don’t think just because you’re good looking you have an immediate pass to be a student of Pomefiore, of NRC. Your grades are lacking, and for someone in this dorm to be that terrible in alchemy is ruinous. Seriously, an F in potion making? You strive to be as resourceful and tenacious as the Beautiful Queen by not being able to brew even a simple potion?”

The mob cowered back, shocked at their dorm head speaking that way to them.

“Doesn’t feel good to have yer flaws n’ failures spoken of, eh?” Epel yelled from a few miles back. He could see Schoenheit stiffen at the use of his distinct accent, but the farmer boy could care less in this moment… and so did Vil.

Rook stepped over with a friendly smile, placing a hand on the student's shoulder and on Vil’s. “Please rest the case, lest we want our hearts and faces wrinkle up from anger and stress.” The hunter squeezed the boy’s shoulder, applying pressure on one of the nerves to get the message across. In case that was not enough, narrow green eyes spared him a side glance full of ill-intent, “Any more comments like that, and your heart will be carved out of your rib cage and go in a jewelry chest to display as a trophy.” Was his message.

“Y-Yes, Rook-senpai!” The mob immediately answered and made their way out to somewhere else.

The actor rubbed the bridge of his nose at the scene, “I apologize on behalf of my dorm, those types of comments are absolutely not tolerated, but there seem to be more potatoes to wrangle than what I imagined.” He sighed, “But anyways! Let us continue with our original plans. [Name], Grim, Epel, follow me. We shall start with having you all take a nice bath and do proper skincare...and furcare, I suppose.”

“Oh, I would very much like some hypermosturizing serums and a bathbomb or oils to help destress, please!” The [hair color] said.

Vil chuckled a bit, “After that, you need all the lavender oils in the water.”

“Wait, does that mean…?!” Epel became unsettled and looked at Grim.

The monster finished the lilac haired boy’s thought, “We’re gonna end up smelling like a potpourri or somethin’?!”

Rook came behind them, pushing them lightly forward to walk in the other two’s direction. “Come now, moniseurs! Bath time is a great time to spend relaxing and planning your activities for the day!”

The rowdy duo only groaned at his words.

Ignihyde

“Oh, [Name] [Surname]-san, that was an amazing play!” Ortho congratulated while spectating the game going on between you and his brother.

The girl chuckled, “Thanks, Ortho… Did that specifically to show your brother not to underestimate a magicless human’s abilities in games such as this.” Sizzling could be heard coming from the older Shroud as he silently fumed, but his flaming hair betrayed his silence.

“That’s right, get mad and lose your temper. It’ll be easier to defeat you like that… defeat you once more.” [Color] lips turned into a mocking smile. “Talk shit, get hit, bruh!”

Idia desperately played his following moves, a supposed combo to take you down considerably. “I don’t believe you’ll keep that smile in your face for long.”

She chuckled, ominously now, “Ohoho, I believe I will be keeping this smile… and victory with me~!” The 1st year kept laughing as she played her last strategy, leading to his defeat for the 6th? 10th? time today.

The dorm head took a deep breath before he could yell his frustration out, hair turning a shade of dull red, telling the other occupants of the room of his temper.

“How’s that for underestimating the skills of a human, Idia? Tired or eating your dirt yet or not? Told ya this would only lead to absolute defeat-!” Before [Surname] could boast some more, Idia stood up and dropped himself on his bed, back turned to them all.

The robot boy floated over to the enraged 3rd year. “Big brother? Your vitals are erratic, heartbeat is quick and body temperature is on the raise. Would you like some help relaxing?”

“I believe it’s better to let him be, Ortho.” The girl reassured. “Wanna play a game with me? See if you can beat me?” She suggested.

The android quickly cheered up, “I would love to!”

- Few minutes later -

[Color] eyes stared at victorious play.

5 times… It had only been 30 minutes and already 5 times… She was beaten by the younger Shroud 5 times already!

Ortho smiles at her (or at least she assumed, with him keeping his mouth coveron). “This is entertaining, [Name] [Surname]-san! Can we play one more time?” Those innocent yellow eyes looked up at her tired, irritated ones.

“I- uuuh… S-Sure, Ortho..!” A strained smile stretched her lips.

Idia sat down somewhere near, teasing pointy smile on his face now. “How does it feel, [Surname]?”

“Shut the hell up, Shroud, you’re no one to speak like that.” The girl whispered through gritted teeth.

Diasomia

Blah, blah, blah… chatter, chatter, chatter…Loud booming voice annoying everyone around.

“Alright, damn it all!” [Name] slammed her hand on the table. “For the love of all that's holy, shut the hell up, Sebek!!”

Everyone was stunned for a moment at the outburst, Silver jumped awake at the shouting.

Sebek looked at her with the most indignant look, “Excuse you?! That is something extremely rude to say! Even more so because you interrupted my conversation with the Young Master!”

“What do you even mean?! You interrupted my conversation with Malleus in an even more impolite way first!” She reminded her fellow 1st year.

Zigvolt scoffed, “Only because you don’t possibly have anything of interest to speak with Master Malleus.”

“Sebek I swear to god!”

“Silence, human! Stop pestering us!”

“You are the one doing the pestering here!”

And just like that, both students began bickering.

Silver looked at Lilia, “Don’t you think we should do something about this?”

The old fae sighed into his tea cup, placing it back down before taking a sip. “We absolutely must, Sebek’s voice was already inflicting a headache, now we have... that…” Red eyes looked at the brash underclassmen arguing.

Malleus, meanwhile, rubbed his temples at their antics.

“Children, stop it now or else-” Vanrouge noticed how his words were going unnoticed, so he decided to raise his voice some. “Children-” More shouting, silencing his call for attention.

“Children!” Lilia’s voice boomed around the room, along with the stomping of his heel on the stone floor. The surround sound effectively made the misbehaving students shut up.

“Thank you.” He said with a closed eyes smile, “Now, to settle your senseless screaming, why don’t we try asking Malleus himself what he believes happened, hm?” The bat suggested, turning to look into lime eyes to urge his master to speak up.

“Oh..! Hmm… Well… It is true Sebek interrupted the conversation I was having with the child of man,” [Name] looked at her friend with an I-told-you-so smile, “And I disagree with him, [Surname] was telling me very interesting things about her life and experiences in this Wonderland.” That made the girl stand even prouder.

“However,” The pistachio haired male looked at his superior with hope in his eyes, “I agree with his comment on how interrupting conversations the way [Surname] did is very rude.” Now it was his turn to boast a little. “But let’s not forget he interrupted us first, and therefore is rude himself.” Sebek deflated at that.

Lilia clapped his hands with a bright smile, “Problem solved! Now,” The fae looked at the tall 1st year, “Sebek, dear, [Name] is our guest today, treat her with respect. She is Malleus’ specially invited guest, let her spend her time occupying our leader’s time as she pleases. He invited her for that reason, after all.”

“U-Understood, Lilia-sama…” Zigvolt agreed against his will.

“Thank you, Lilia!” [Name] thanked at the same time Sebek spoke.

“Very well, let us enjoy our tea time in peace now.” Finally, the youthful soul sat down and picked up his cup to take a much needed sip of the amber liquid. “Young ones these days, I swear...”

NRC Staff

Shouting and yelling resounded around the meeting hall, leading Mozus to rub the bridge of his nose to try and ease the oncoming headache.

“Hello-!” Vargas was cut off.

“Not now, Professor Vargas, I need to knock some sense into this crow!” The 1st year yelled at the muscular P.E. teacher.

He sat down near Trein with a sigh, “They’re at it again this week?”

“Yes, they are…” The old man grunted.

“Been at it for 20 minutes now, can’t believe it.” Crewel tapped his finger on the wooden table in irritation, “Headmaster Crowley should already relent and give her more allowance if it means we can get our meetings done!”

“Absolutely not,” Trein disagreed, “[Surname] should learn to handle her finances better, budget things appropriately and spend the least on useless things.”

Crewel let out a single mocking laugh, “Really now? Have you heard what biweekly amount of money he gives her?! It’s not even enough to buy a steady supply of meals from the shop for a week!”

Soon enough, the two teachers joined their respective sides in the battle of Crowley vs. [Name], while Vargas watched with the most uncomfortable look.

And, after a good more minutes of shouting, the last call was given…

“You know what?! I’m done!!” The [color] haired girl made her way to the exit, “It’s always “Because I am so kind” blah blah blah! But you never do anything to help me!” She made a bad impression of the Director on purpose.

“It’s not only me in the dorm, it’s also Grim! And he’s a sizable cat, he needs to eat properly and plenty, too!” She turned around before leaving, “Seriously, Headmaster, I don’t know anymore how to scream at you that we need help! We’re sleeping on dirt every night, we’re breathing mold and dust everyday inside the rundown dorm! We need food and clothes and bedsheets and hygiene products!”

[Name] had to take a deep breath before saying her last words, “If you’re not going to help me search for a way back home, then… at least help me make that crumbling building feel like home…” With that, the heavy door shut close.

The young girl quickly made her way out of the building, trying her best to keep her emotions at bay and not let them overflow. Out of habit, or maybe it was her consciousness trying to search for comfort, her feet carried her to Mr.S’s Mystery Shop.

The simple ringing of the bell signaling a new customer already made her feel better.

“Welcome, little devil! What can I help you with today?” Sam greeted with his typical energy.

The [hair color] sighed in relief, making her way to the counter. “Hello, Sam.”

“Aaah, another fruitless fight with the Headmaster?” The shopkeep inquired, identifying that tired tone in her voice.

“Indeed…” She let head lay upon her crossed arms as the rest of her body leaned on the counter. “I ask myself why I even keep trying it, nothing will ever change…”

A shadow friend pat her head to try and comfort her.

“Because you’re perseverant and a fighter, and wish to have a school life as nice as the one your friends in established dorms live. It’s not an unjustified fight.” The mysterious clerk said, full confidence in his words.

“You believe so?” Curious [color] eyes looked at his moving figure.

“Of course! Everyone else has a nice room to sleep in, why shouldn’t you? Besides, the Headmaster decided to take you in, a responsibility he can’t ignore.” He placed a small mug in front of your head, “Go ahead, take a drink, it’ll help you in more ways than you can think of.”

Carefully unwinding from her position, a hand took the mug and brought it under her nose. One sniff and the girl could tell this was [fav. drink]. “Sam, I’m-! How did- How did you know this is my favorite?!” A pleasant surprise that brought a smile to her lips.

“You always buy it, guess you must really like it.” Magenta eyes watched as she took a sip, “Comfort food and drinks are perfect after an upsetting experience.”

[Name] threw him a tender smile, “Thank you, Sam. All you do for me and Grim is very appreciated… Don’t think I don’t notice those special discounts.”

All he did was wink at her as he turned to welcome a new customer.

Royal Sword Academy

Helping put up a stage was not an easy task. Could anyone really blame her for being so mad at everyone who got in her way after being overworked like that?

Who knows how many times she yelled at people to hurry up and move away from her path already.

And it just so happened a playful cat decided to scare the soul out of the 1st year at the worst moment, just as she was trying to take a short power nap.

“Found mew (pronounce it as m-you-w pls)!” A floating head and apparently dismembered arms appeared before [Name], hands falling on her shoulders.

She screamed bloody hell at the boy, “WHAT THE F-CK, CHE’NYA?!?!” A coughing fit followed due to the sudden loud yelp, “That was,” Cough, “My heart I just spat out!”

Meanwhile, the RSA student laughed his head off at the startled girl.

It irritated her, “And what do you think you’re doing laughing like that?! I could’ve tore a vocal cord or actually have a heart attack, you dumb cat!”

Oh… Never in his life had he been called that, at least not that he remembered.

They remained in silence for a while.

Eventually, Alchemi giggled once more “Aha~, nice to see you’re mad too! Told nya it was the norm here~”

The [hair color] nodded in mock agreement, “Yeah, can finally see all of you are damn BONKERS!”

~°~ ~°~

This boy… what is his problem?! Suddenly approaching a stranger all smiles and good vibes? [Name] knew this was a twisted world, but this was plain creepy…

So, of course, the fight or flight instinct kicked off.

Yanking her hands out of his hold, [color] orbs sharpened to the meanest glare she could muster right then and there. “What do you think you’re doing? I am not a princess, and I definitely am not your princess! That’s way too creepy to tell someone you’ve just crossed eyes with.”

A multitude of gasps was heard. “Ah, that’s right, he has tiny friends with him…” [Name] could only inwardly sigh and groan.

Neige himself gasped too, what a rude person!

A little giggle was heard, “That’s exactly what I wanted to tell him.” Grant whispered, amused by the whole scene.

“Alright, okay, uh… Gotta go now. Pleasure, or not, to meet you. Goodbye.” The NRC student walked past the strange students. “And I thought there was nothing crazier than NRC… B O I was I wrong…”

The dwarves looked at their stunned friend.

Dominic tugged at his pant leg, “Neige, are you alright? Just let her be, I’m sure she reacted like that due to being cautious about strangers.”

“Yes, I’m fine…But,” Round chocolate eyes remained on her retreating form, “Nothing has ever stopped me from befriending even the grumpiest of people! Or has it, Grant?” The brunet smiled at his friend.

“I suppose not- Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!” The redhead complained while the rest laughed merrily alongside LeBlanche.

-- -- --

THE MADWOMAN DID IT OMGGGGGGG MY EEEEEEYES ASDFGHIMKLF

HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY!!! What other way than to celebrate with LOOONG request including most, if not all, of the Twst characters!!

LET US SHARE MANY MORE MEMORIES TOGETHER!! CHEERS TO US ALL!!!

(P.S. OMG if you see shifting between fem pronouns, they/them pronouns and "you" stuff... PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! My brain got a bit confused in a part! Hopefully I corrected it all)

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attllhak · 2 years

Text

So, I really didn’t want to have to say anything about this, since I’m not one of the affected parties, but I figured something out earlier today and I think my own personal experience might be relevant, and more importantly, I think I need to step away again because of it. I said I’d be back, but everything coming up means I’m not able to, and I figure I should say something this time.

All of this is, of course, in reference of the recent LU update and the harassment of Jojo as a result of it. I didn’t want to get involved because I’m not one of the hurt parties, and it wasn’t my place. And furthermore, the whole issue, and lingering on it, was making me genuinely, physically ill. And I just realized why.

I’ve seen this before.

I’ve seen this sort of reaction to things like this before. Almost six years ago now, I was in a fandom that did this. Regularly. To creators and other fans both. It was 2016, take a guess which fandom if you must, but those details aren’t important. What is important is that I was seriously hurt by this behaviour.

I want to make it clear that I was a lurker at this point. I was not involved in the harassment, on either side. I was just watching. And even without involvement, I was still hurt. Very hurt. Very, very, so very hurt.

I cannot overstate how badly the actions of that fandom hurt me. I stopped reading and writing entirely for three years. Three years. The thing I nearly dropped out of Pre-K for I gave up entirely for almost three years. And this wreaked hell and havoc on my mental health. I was in a bad, bad place.

For those of you who were here for it, you might remember a few months ago I made a now deleted post where I mentioned discovering I have a trigger. A trigger that causes me immense anxiety and stress. This is why. This fandom, their actions, that is why. I still won’t be disclosing my trigger as it’s a common discourse and I must remain neutral on this topic for the sake of my mental health, and I worry revealing it will draw it to me.

It was nothing less than a miracle that I got out of that rut. I will never be able to repay the creator that sparked my love of storytelling again. Without exaggeration, they quite literally saved me.

I don’t want to say I am belittling those who were hurt. I understand how this could have hurt you. I get it, believe me I do. You have every right to be angry and hurt.

But I have seen the sort of behaviour you are displaying before. And it seriously hurt people. It seriously hurt me. Be angry, be hurt, that’s totally valid. But don’t hurt others in the process. Please, be aware of that possibility.

All of that said, I’m going to be stepping away until this all settles/blows over. I am not taking sides, I can’t for the sake of my own mental health, and my own health takes priority. I’ve bent over backwards for people and let myself get hurt so they can feel better before, and I am not going to be doing that again, no matter who or why. I am taking care of myself, first and foremost.

I won’t be abandoning this blog or the works I have in progress here. This is the first time I’ve ever felt comfortable enough to share my works and talk about my interests outside of my best friends irl. This fandom has, up until recently, made me feel secure and welcome and safe in a way no other online community ever has. I’ve made friends here, friends I love and am incredibly grateful for. I’m not leaving forever.

But I am not feeling safe or secure here anymore. Not right now. Right now this fandom is, unintentionally, making me physically ill as a result of past hurts I’ve suffered. It’s opening up old wounds, and I won’t be bleeding to offer someone else comfort. It’s painful, and I hate that it’s come to this, but I need to step back. I have no choice if I don’t want to end up hurt again.

I love you guys, don’t get me wrong. Even some of you lashing out. But being here is hurting me, the behaviours I’m seeing are hurting me. And I won’t let myself be hurt like that again. Never again.

Consider this explanation, and warning. I am not taking sides. People have been hurt, that is fact. But the way they’ve reacted to that hurt is causing hurt too. And I can’t be around that.

I’ll still be crossposting Surface Too Soon onto Ao3, that won’t change. And I’ll still be posting chapters here as I finish them, but that’ll be about it. I need to back away again. I’ll let you know when I get back, but don’t expect it to be any time soon.

#atta babbles #linked universe #lu #look i don't mean to be spreading more negativity #and i WILL NOT be talking about this issue #as mentioned i need to remain neutral here #anyone trying to bring up this discourse will be ignored and. should you persist. blocked #i am willing to talk about my past hurts (when i get back) and my experience #and how i got out of that bad bad place #but recent events are a hard no #since said recent events are hurting me #that said i should make this clear #i am in fact a hurt party now #i was not when this started but i am now #and i am taking steps to protect myself #i love you all but i cannot do this #also this was always meant to be a general writing blog for me #maybe i'll consider posting some stuff for other fandoms now #maybe #i don't blame any of you btw #i get why everyone is acting the way they are #but it is hurting me and i can't do this #we'll reevaluate when the worst of the storm has passed #and i'll make a plan moving forward then when i have all the facts #i won't be gone forever but i'm still hurting and feeling a bit betrayed be a community i thought i could trust #and i might need to make some changes depending on how things look when it's all 'over'#for whatever definition of over

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snekjin · 2 years

Note

Why do you still support toews and kane?

I'm honestly surprised I've never received this question before and I appreciate that you worded it neutrally. I have the weirdest love/hate relationship with these two.

trigger warning for discussion of sa under the cut

I left up most of my initial reactions so if people really want to see how I felt you can go back through the archive and see it. At the time, I honestly thought I would never support the Blackhawks again and I imagine a lot of others here felt the same. I even said as much to people I know IRL.

Over time my anger ebbed and I looked at things a bit differently. A lot of people read the report, heard the comments that Toews and Kane made (I think before they had seen the interview with Kyle?) and pointed fingers. The truth that came out was the result of an investigation that took an entire team of people several months to interview over 100 people and some are reacting as if every detail in it was common knowledge to everybody who was near the Blackhawks organisation at that time.

We can be mad at them for their comments but a lot of people seem to assume that they:

a) knew a non-consensual act had occured

b) partook in/witnessed the bullying.

There is no concrete evidence that either of these are true given a) the different rumours that were floating around and b) the fact that Kyle spent most of his time in Rockford.

I don't mean to sound like I'm diminishing what happened to Kyle. I would love to know who bullied him and will happily castrate them myself (even if it's Kane or Toews).

To be honest my current interest in the pair of them is almost entirely based on the fictional narrative of them and not the real people. I know not everybody makes this distinction the same way.

This wasn't always the case. Before Toews' comments I would have said he was hands down my favourite player, I thought he was an amazing person. I loved how he cared about the environment and all those sorts of things. He was my phone wallpaper and I was so excited for him to come back and play again. And then he went and pissed all over it with that press conference.

When I first starting making gifs I went out of my way to not gif Jonny at all. I think when he got his first goal, I thought it would be weird to just pretend it didn't happen and then it sort of slid into doing a few more. Fast-forward to today when he's pretty regularly featured on this blog.

I shifted to being more of a Kane fan just because I'm more comfortable with the way he addressed the situation and the way he seems to have matured as a person (maybe he's still a piece of shit, who knows🤷)

I only got into the Hawks very recently (around June of last year, I think) so was very deep into the early hyperfixation stages at that time and wasn't quite ready to let them go if that makes any dumb sort of sense? If I had been around a few years and was kind of slowing down in the "fandom lifecycle" I might have just been happy to leave for good like others did.

But in the last few months especially I've interacted with so many people on here, had some fun discussions (and some not so fun discussions) so it's just nice to be part of this little world that we all created together idk.

If anybody is uncomfortable with any of the views expressed above you can unfollow me if you need to. And if you have any other questions or thoughts feel free to drop them in my inbox.

One day I will lose interest in 1988 like I lose interest in other fandoms and just go back to watching the sport without giving a shit about the private lives of the people on the ice. Maybe it will be when they retire or when one of them gets traded. Maybe it will be before then. But for now, I'll be here.

#tw: sa #thank you for coming to my ted talk #patrick kane #jonathan toews #anon

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grimmradiance · 2 years

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(Editing mod here: this post wandered off into chatter about deities in the Fire Emblem series and an irl goddess who got treatment that rings like Radi to me. It's not super duper relevant unless you're hella interested, so I've marked it off with asterisks so you can skip it if you like.)

You know I never actually explained how I think Grimm and Radi relate to each other. I know two popular interpretations are sibling-deities or dual dream deities that had a fight and Grimm got evicted for being Grimm. Mine is sort of...both? And neither.

Lemme just explain it by comparing it to a canonical example of the same thing (which probably maybe two people who follow this blog will recognize lol): the deity Ashunera from the two games in the Radiance part of Fire Emblem. (It's got several very loosely related worlds across the series; the two Radiance games are standalone from everything else. They're the ones with Ike if you know Smash Bros.)

ANYWAYS the point I'm trying to make here is that In The Beginning™™™ there was Ashunera, the mother goddess, who gave shape to the world and gave it life and light and all that. Upon seeing that her children had invented war and were murdering each other, she had a mental breakdown and nearly flooded the entire world. (Yes, it's very Genesis.)

She, being possessed of a love of order and peace, decided the best way to keep this from happening again was to ball up all her emotions and instincts into a seperate deity, seal the resultant chaos entity Yune away and fuck off to take a nap for a thousand years, essentially saying "don't you DARE wake me up by fighting a war." That gives us Ashera, a fundamentally neutral deity of order who hates war, and accidentally and/or vengefully fucks over most of the population of the world when she's woken up early by a massive war.

If you play this off with the fact that the name Ashera(h) is thought to (at least in Hebrew) refer to a female counterpart to Yahweh, who was systematically erased from the record by sociopolitical movements deeming polytheism heresy, translating the Hebrew Asherah to "tree" or similar, and Christianity Being Historically Like That...well, for me, the parallels write themselves. I already associate the anthropological evidence for Asherah with the Radiance anyways, because Asherah is considered to be at least loosely syncretic with several other goddesses, much like Radi seems to appear in the religions of other cultures aside from moths.

Anyways, this got rambly, but. In my head, Radiance and Grimm were once the same deity. One of light, warmth, imagination, time, and spirituality, in my head. At some point, something happened, said deity had a Moment, and yeeted their emotions and impulsive nature into a seperate moth. This leaves us with the deities we have now. Radiance, the Light, all-consuming like the sun, deity of branching paths returning to a central home and things that last forever. Grimm, the Flame, subtle and pernicious and transient, deity of things coming to their rightful ends, of breaking rules and blazing paths anew and self-determination. The fact that Grimm got syncretized with nightmares is a later addition, partially due to the distinct seperation between his dreaming and waking selves, and partially due to moths seeming to have a collectivist culture, where too much individualism can be scary and dangerous because it puts everyone at risk.

(Bonus: theory crafting of what that deity was called? The word "radiance" has dubious origins; you can follow the etymology back as far as "radius" being used as a noun to refer to wheelspokes and walking sticks and things like that. The word "grim" actually traces back to a Proto-Indo-European word referring to anger or thunderous noises--which, if I'm interpreting this etymology article correctly, means that comparing Grimm to a ridiculous number of mythological figures scans. Which means that they also scan seperately as light and dark deities by etymological roots!

And apparently "dream" referred to merriment or imagination and to things that happen when one sleeps by completely seperate paths. Huh.

Anyways, attempting to keep with the moth deities having dignified names that are still single common words, a few ideas for the pre-split deity..... I'm thinking either Somnolence or Effulgence.)

#this post partially inspired by a friend of mine finally getting deep enough into hk's plot to understand why Radi Wasn't Wrong #my meta #the higher being speaks #hollow knight #hollow knight spoilers #the radiance #troupe master grimm #grimm #radiance

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nefoe-dd · 3 years

Text

SO SMT AU AM I RIGHT GAMERS

I mentioned this in the tags of another post and joked about it in Discord but my brain went brrrr during my last class of the day and now I lowkey have a full plot starting to form lol.

Keep in mind the only Shin Megami Tensei game I’ve played myself is the Nocturne remake, plus I only really remember bits of the plot of 4 and whatever we’ve been given so far of 5 so I’m not super well versed in the series.

Also I’ll add this to the tags too but DSMP Spoilers specifically for the contents of Techno’s Will exist in this post, because that is where the idea for this came from. A lot of other JRPGs have similar plotlines but I specifically thought of SMT because its kind of a meme specifically for that at this point how the plot always seems to have the same type ending bosses.

Also some spoilers for Shin Megami Tensei IV

ANYWAYS

Now Presenting: An AU where Techno’s Limbo is an SMT Game lol

(Under a ‘Read More’ because it got way ahead of me)

An Introduction to Relevant SMT terminology:

Demons: Makes up a large majority of the characters in the game. They are the enemies that you face in combat, and its possible to recruit them to your team through various means. Some demons exist in the overworld though, and can be talked to normally, they’re chill most of the time, unless you do something to tick them off. ‘Demon’ is not taken literally by the Christian definition, they are based off of various figures in folklore and religion around the world, some are even based on Gods and Angels.

Law vs Chaos: Many SMT games have multiple endings based on these two alignments, along with the neutral alignment. It is usually decided by some important decisions the player makes throughout the game. I’m most aware of the SMT 4 ending, in which the route you are on decides the final dungeon, the character you team with for the ending, and the final boss (its either Satan or the in-game version of God). It’s based off of the traditional interpretation of these two, where Law represents the importance of authority, and Chaos represents the importance of freedom.

Another note is that a lot of SMT games take place in a post-apocalyptic world of some kind, which, spoiler, is the case here.

General Plot Details and Worldbuilding:

- Techno dies in the prison. The stasis chamber fails and Quackity succeeds in killing him. Permanently.

- Despite dying, he wakes up again in the main prison cell, but things are different. The lava isn’t blocking the entrance anymore, (in fact there isn’t any lava at all), and he’s alone. Upon peering outside the main cell, he notices a bit of sky peeking through the prison ceiling, like it had been broken into.

- The drop down to the bottom floor is long, but he’s dead, so he just shrugs and jumps down so he can see what’s going on. Turns out there are several holes in this part of the prison, in fact there are multiple on the ground, likely where the lava had escaped from. (Obviously Minecraft lava specifically doesn’t work like that, I’m pretty sure in the DreamSMP the bottom is all source blocks, but just ignore that bit).

- He exits from the back wall of the prison, and everything there so far looks normal, except for the fact that there appears to be less trees than normal. Of the trees that are still there, many of them were cut down and never collected, and some appear to have fallen over due to some damage.

- Techno goes around the prison to the front, and that’s when he notices some things that are very wrong. Various parts of the prison, not just the main cell, are also sitting destroyed. Many cracks, scuff marks and full-on chunks are missing on the walls. The usual entrance which houses the nether portal is hardly still standing, and he can see straight into the main lobby where the portal would lead into once you were let through.

- The surrounding areas are not much better. Tommy’s outpost is toppled over in the distance, only the base and bottom floor are left standing. The tents near the beach are collapsed and destroyed, the only remnants of one of them is a small piece of fabric ripped from the main bit and laying on the ground. Skeppy and Badboyhalo’s mansion is crumbling where it stands, half of the back wall and ceiling are gone. And that’s only what’s visible from here.

- The rest of the server is also in various states of destruction, the spawn walls are hardly left standing, the main nether portal area is covered in potholes, none of the portals are active. The prime path is rotted and broken in most areas, the buildings along it are not faring much better than the ones he’d seen before. And the further he gets away from the prison, the more the plants themselves appear to be dead or dying.

- L’manburg’s crater looks much the same as it once did right after its destruction, albeit with more debris at the bottom which had fallen from the sides as they slowly eroded. The flag at the bottom is torn up and discoloured, honestly its hardly recognizable. The nature that had finally begun to reclaim the land has slowly been dying instead over time, and the bridge overtop has completely collapsed. The only thing still standing, is the ever present obsidian grid that looms over it in the sky. He supposes that whatever disaster had caused this wasn’t able to reach that high up, or that it was at least in part done by someone that liked the way it looked. Not that there seems to be a need for the reminder anymore.

- Something something, he finds out DreamXD is here, and that he might have had something to do with how this world looks. And as much as it shouldn’t matter in the afterlife, he did promise Phil he would be killing God sooooo he goes on a mission to do just that. He can do pretty much anything now that he really doesn’t have to worry about dying, so why not. He has no reason to care about some God, especially when they’re the only ones left.

- Some DSMP people hang around the world and are represented by certain demons, the mostly chill ones that kinda just hang around in the apocalyptic scenery. They don’t recognize him, it isn’t really the people he knows after all, but they are willing to talk to him since they can tell he isn’t human either. He learns little bits of what happened through them, and learns where DreamXD resides, that being one of the strongholds that’s a bit further out.

- Unfortunately, due to the portals being inactive, and his inability to break anything efficiently, or even at all, he has to travel using the overworld. Along the way he manages to speak to some others, this allows him to better locate where the God is, although it doesn’t seem to be hiding out. He even sees it sometimes flying around, which he uses to follow where its hiding.

- Some of the random demons he runs into recognize that he’s not supposed to be here (according to them at least), so he has to fight his way through them. Luckily, many of the friendly demons that he talks to end up tagging along in order to help, thus making up a team he can use to get through them instead.

- There’s probably a demon that seems to resemble Phil somewhere, living alone (alone for so so long) away from everyone in an arctic house perhaps. If I wanted to really up the angst, the demon takes a liking to Techno right away, which is partly how Techno is able to tell its him so quickly. The more they talk, the more Techno realizes how lonely the Phil he knows must be without him there, how upset he’d be once he reads the will and finds out what happened to him. Thus he’s more motivated to, you know, fight God, in an attempt to figure out what the hell happened. (DXD is the only entity existing here that also exists where he’s from, he can guess pretty easily that maybe, just maybe, they are one and the same). Thus, he is given a choice that he knows he will have to make in the future.

- Eventually he manages to find the stronghold and comes face to face with DreamXD himself. DreamXD is just kinda chillin there, they fight, through DreamXD doesn’t seem to be putting in too much effort, almost like it does not want to win.

- Techno wins (duh), and he is left with a choice, a choice to finish the job, or spare the god and allow it to go free. And, well, he feels that he doesn’t really have the right to decide whether it lives or dies, and while its possible that DreamXD caused whatever disaster created the current state of the world, but he doesn’t know that for sure. DreamXD has done nothing this whole time he’s been here, and its done nothing to him or his companions.

- He chooses to leave it alone, and DreamXD seems to know that it was always going to end that way.

- DreamXD disappears, and Techno wakes up in the cell again post-revival, the prison and the world around it is the same as he remembers

(I don’t remember the exact real-world to limbo time difference but I imagine that it felt like, a day, maybe half that, while irl it was only a few minutes to an hour.)

Some other notes/details:

- The other possible ending would have resulted in Techno killing DreamXD and being given ANOTHER choice to take its power over the world, or just leave and stay there forever. Basically DreamXD’s existence is vital to the power of the revival book, and it’s death would have resulted in Dream not being successful in his revival attempts. Obviously we have no idea how the powers actually work yet, but I just came up with an explanation because I thought it would be interesting. You can decide on your own which of these endings fall into Law, Chaos or Neutral because uh, its complicated given the scenario. You can also decide if letting DreamXD live even fits into his character! Idk! But its not like DreamXD’s being oppressive by any means, not that there’s anyone to oppress here anyways. That’s my logic anyways.

- I don’t know what demons would represent specific people, I’d like to use one of the Angels for Phil but the Demons based on Angels usually have an important role in the plot that is in line with the Law alignment and like, protecting god or whatever, so no. There are a couple bird ones but idk if they fit the vibe, idk it could work, I’d have to look at a list if I want to go into this further.

- I kinda want Eret to be an Inugami because it’s body does that thing that ferret’s do when they’re all stretched out :) The only reason I’m hesitant is because Inugami is a dog, and Goose deserves representation.

- The reason I imagined for why Techno can’t break anything is because the mining fatigue lasted throughout this because he died with it, it’d get in the way of fighting too but at least it isn’t weakness, and he’s not alone either.

Uhhhhh that’s it for now I think!

(will potentially add to this if I figure something else out in the future)

#Dreamsmp #Dreamsmp spoilers #DSMP #Technoblade #none of the schoolwork I've done so far is this long what the fuck did I do #this is almost 2k words btw

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mashpotatoe · 4 years

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There’s been a sort of pattern with Cartman doing things he normally wouldn’t do ... like talking to the Whites while they were grieving or sacrificing his wants for Stan’s needs .... dare I say character arc?

can i just point out how steadily better hes been getting ever since heidi ended things with him for good 💭 it mustve had a pretty major effect on him cuz you know how he reacted everytime she left him and since we never got a follow up episode i can only assume cartmans current behavior is the result of the breakup /yo quick shoutout to heidi turner honey that pink face mask looked ADORABLE mwah/ but his sacrifice yesterday truly left me shook... i totally expected him to throw the pangolin in the do-over machine like the asshole he is BUT,,, HE HAD A CHANGE OF HRART :') FOR FUCKING REALZZ SHDHD its weird how i see him getting healthier and more empathetic only in my hcs but when that stuff happens irl IM FUCKING BLOWN AWAYY ..........ahem ive been tracking his every good deed to help me live with myself ❤️ and to Think thats the same eric cartman from half a decade ago !!! he was mostly neutral and/or just sort of a dick (for cartman standards) in s22, even tried to save humanity from manbearpig buuut you gotta lose some points for the shit he pulled in buddha box :// like i wouldnt call it necessarily evil but still offensive. THEN (!!!) oh MAMA he was acting fairly civil throughout all of s23 and actually APOLOGIZED THREE TIMES 0_0 ... first in mexican joker //WHICH I KNOW.. is debatable... but i want to believe he was sincere in his apology after he realized his stupid 'pranks' on kyle have gone way too far the moment he saw how horrible the detention camps were. did he really not connect kyles heritage to the camps? who knows. all im saying is i havent heard the word jew being used against kyle in a while plus he did participate in the kiddush... goot times// then in let them eat goo then TO THE WHITES :o in season finale... was just trying to help which resulted in a Very Bad Thing but cartmans is just that. STUPID oh my god... i feel like if he did have bad intentions in that episode he wouldve done something much more catastrophic (?) and cartman like. but i was not prepared for yesterdays special at ALL... tbh i was expecting t&m to pull a world war zimmerman again go back to their old roots make cartman the most racist piece of shit on earth but to my surprise...! HE JUST DIDNT WANNA GO BACK TO SKEWLLLLDJSIDODOO;;+8OOFJSHSSHJE💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅 THAT BOY IS OK SOME KING SHIT!!! STARTING OFF SEASON 24 WITH EARLY CARTMAN ESQUE BEHAVIOR BOOM GAYER THAN EVER SINGING BROADWAY SOUNDING SONGS ABOUT HOW NICE IT IS TO BE INSIDE.................. *shakes him* not only that but he. fucking did the right thing...... what i think happened was stans speech 50/50 half made eric rethink social distancing and agree with him half CARE FOR STAN... 👉👈 (and potentially didnt wanna get yelled at and lose his friends) he had NOTHING to gain from not killing that thing yet here we are. he looks so defeated when he hands the doctor the pangolin I LOVE YOU !!!!! IDIOT !!IDIDOSOSOSOAKSHEJSL :')))?) clears throat All i know is that someone answered my prayers. thanks xoxo

#asks

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bitchiha · 4 years

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HC of Kiba, Shino, Choji, Neji and Lee playing animal crossing. Do they do it hidden from others or not? Their islands, favorite activities, group interactions (especially) and other things you like.

A/N: Yes!! Thank you for requesting this!! I love writing little fun things like this. I haven’t gotten a chance to play animal crossing on the switch because I was saving up for it w/ my job and everything, but now that Corona has shut down my province I can’t actually buy the switch or Animal Crossing 🥺 I watch gameplays for like hours on end tho and my friends never shut up about it so I know enough to make these HC’s I Hope lmfao and I’ve played it on my DS and phone for timee so I’m educated dw

✎ Animal Crossing x Naruto Characters!

Kiba Inuzuka

He was so pumped for animal crossing to come out. Probably used man the beast clone justu in the game store to make sure that he got his hands on a copy.

He won’t hide that he plays Animal Crossing, he’ll be such a confident douche about it. Once he’s got a fly outfit and he’s starting to get gains he will flex his island to anyone, especially Shino.

He would pick an island in the northern hemisphere and he wouldn’t even strategize tbh like he’s just excited

He would name it like “Dog Land” or “Akamaruville” or some shit like that

He’s the type to read all the things the characters say out loud. Will also 10/10 respond to them.

He’s so excited at little things “look akamaru! It’s a stick!” “Oh shit! Wow! It’s a fishy!”

Or when the seasons change he is so hyped

Hates Tom Nook (greedy capitalist) and also hates Eugene

Starts calling people by nicknames from animal crossing. “Sure, Bunyip!” “Sure thing daddio!” And only the other ninja who play Animal Crossing will get it

Everyone else will be like: (;-;) shut the fuck up dog boy did you just call me “daddio?”

His title on his animal crossing passport is “photogenic animal” I felt the need to include this information

Sometimes I don’t even know what the fuck Kiba does on animal crossing like he just messes around all the time

I think he’ll like fishing a lot tho

Despises the snooty or cranky villagers like he wants to pop one at them through the screen

Having interactions w friends on Animal Crossing can either be fun and friendly or super passive aggressive

Him and Shinos interactions are so ducking passive aggressive like Shino is hitting Kiba with his bug net and Kibas like ?? And Shino will just be like “there was a bug on you” like bruh

Him and Chojis interactions are friendly at first until he realizes how much better Choji is doing than him and he gets so aggressive so Chojis like: aight imma head out

Refuses to let Rock Lee get into his island and it makes Lee so ducking mad bc he wants to flex on him, but Kibas ego will be so damaged so he refuses

Anyway, his house is literally what a 12 year old boys house would look like. Like there’s clutter everywhere the only clear path is the one to his bed

Also whenever he uses the vaulting pole thing he pisses himself like he thinks it’s so fucking funny

I’m sorry but Kibas character will look like a rat like it will look so ugly

I feel like he has like one braincell when he plays this game

Shino Aburame

He’s so secretive about it at first, like this is Shino Aburame, he’s supposed to be this cool mysterious guy

So he will not let anyone know about it, until kiba accidentally finds out

Like they’re on a mission and they’re in their tent sleeping. Once Shino thinks everyone’s asleep he whips out the Switch and starts playing. Then Kiba rolls over to face him and is like “I KNEW IT”

Then Kiba tells everyone else

They’re Animal Crossing rivals now

He’s got a Southern Hemisphere island and he strategically picks his island in a way that he’ll (in real life terms) be able to have access to bugs... but it’s a game, no point in explaining it to him tbh

Like he only strategizes on the game for bugs. Probably talks to himself whenever bugs are involved in it

He doesn’t read the captions out loud, he’ll read them in his head like normal person

Names his Island after a bug species or “Bug Landia”, “Bikochu Island” <- as tribute to those filler episodes lmfao

Starts talking like K.K. (The dog w the stupid ducking guitar) and tbh it fits his personality pretty well, minus some of the hippie energy, but still.. sometimes Hinata and Kiba look at eachother like: is he good?

Will talk like K.K. When fighting enemies and sometimes they’ll stop and be like “did you just quote fucking K.K?” Sometimes it pisses enemies off even more

Also hates Tom Nook, Kiba and him will put their rivalry aside sometimes just so they could gang up on him

Like they’ll just yell insults at him through the screen and think they rlly did something amazing

His fav activity is obviously bug catching!! He gets so hyped when he catches a bug.

If he’s playing the game outside and you can’t rlly see his face bc of his outfit, it will look like he’s spazzing, but in reality he’s bursting with joy bc he caught an uncommon bug

Likes the cranky villagers.. idk why he just gets a kick out of them

His little house thing is bug and tropical themed, he lowkey should be an interior designer

Shinos character will resemble a bug. Don’t know how, but it will.

Choji Akamichi

Loves animal crossing almost as much as he loves food, it’s a close second

He will talk about Animal crossing with anyone, like he thinks everyone is dying to know about his island

One day Sai made eye contact with him for like 2 seconds Chojis dragging him over to his Switch like “oh hey Sai! I seen you looking at me and I figured you must be wondering what I was doing. So I’ll save you the time and just show you instead.” Sais just there like: wtf?

He’s neutral on the capitalist pig that is Tom Nook, Infact, he thinks he’s kind of nice. Poor Choji, so naive.

His island is in the Northern Hemisphere and he doesn’t really strategize it too much bc he doesn’t take the game as seriously as the rest of them like they’re really out here with survival tactics? My G..

Like he doesn’t take it as seriously as Neji and Lee, but he still is doing better than all of them in the game

Anyways, he’ll name the island after his favourite chip brand / chip flavour

Lives for interacting with the other islanders!! Loves Lily and Pashmina bc they’re so nice.

The sisterly and peppy villagers are his favourite

Favourite thing to do is collect fruits and get cool foods. Aside from that, I would go with bug catching as a close second.

Hosts everyone who plays animal crossing for the coolest funking hangouts poor Neji has to sit there and pretend he doesn’t play

Like he is so creative about it to and he’ll think up games like playing musical chairs or hide and seek that they can all play together

Probably results in Lee and Kiba getting into a fist fight irl and accusing eachother of cheating

His house has butterfly themed stuff in there as well as cool food things

Tenten is the only one who doesn’t get pissed tf off when she sees how fly his island is, like she’s jealous, but she isn’t like Kiba and Lee

Chojis character will look so adorable like idc his is the cutest one out of everyone’s

Neji Hyuuga

He first sees TenTen and Lee playing it and he acts like he doesn’t like it, but there are fireworks going off inside his head, like the game looks so fire

So he buys it secretly and he is obsessed, he will deny he plays it if anyone asks though

He wants his islands name to be something thought out, like it takes him 5 days just to name his island.. Only for him to settle on some shit like “Leaf Island” he wanted to name it Byakugan Land but his pride wouldn’t let him

Definitely respects Tom Nook. Like Rock Lee and him both treat the game like a survival tactic so he respects Tom Nook as a superior, even if he has some greed problems. He’s still a superior and he must be adressed with respect >:0

Will get worked up when he overhears Shino and Kiba trash talking Nook and it takes every bone in his body not to knock them out, but he doesn’t want them to know he plays so he refrains

I’m not gonna lie he tries to use his Byakugan when he’s fishing in animal crossing so he can see what type of fish it is through the water and it pisses him the fuck off when it doesn’t work

Like he’s just playing Animal Crossing at like 3 am and you hear him whisper shout “Byakugan!” And then he punches the air bc it doesn’t work

He changes his passport title to “Nook Inc’s Island Dweller”

Nejis favourite thing to do on animal crossing is probably fishing tbh. Like yes it does aggravate the absolute fuck out of him sometimes when he keeps catching the same worthless fish over and over again, but he enjoys the rush of it

His house is all white, like only white furniture idk why

No group interactions, only w Hinata who he made swear she wouldn’t tell anyone he plays

Def critiques her Island and in her head she’s like :0 bruh I’m ur only Animal Crossing friend and youre gonna critique my fucking island nah bitch not w your ghetto ass all white stinky looking cottage

I love Neji I’m sorry but this shit is too funny for me

Neji wants his character to look as much like him as possible, but can’t find the right hairstyle

His drip is fire tho like his outfit is so nice even if it’s all white as well

Rock Lee

Kiba and Shino might be rivals, but they both equally despise Rock Lee on Animal Crossing

Treats it like real life.

For example: since him and TenTen are friends he’s like “me and Tentens islands are Allies”

Has declared war on Kiba and Shino so many times and they’re like?? Dude you can’t even start a war like wtf

He is so competitive though LMFAOO AND HE MAKES HIS CHARACTER WORK OUT. Like he makes him run laps every morning and it doesn’t even benefit him in the game at all... anyways

His island is in the northern hemisphere for sure and it’s named “Power of Youth” or something involving the word Youth

Uses his Nook phone to take pics will all the islanders he stumbles upon

“Good evening, Lily! Let’s take a picture together, the sun is shining in a way that perfectly accentuates your features!”

He also talks to islanders out loud and reads their captions in designated voices for them, it annoys the shit out of Neji

Jazzes the shit out of his Passport like his title is “horizon bound patron” and his little passport comment is “THE POWER OF YOUTH!”

Takes the Nook miles quests so seriously. “I will complete three quests today.” Thinks of them as missions and so he gives them the same energy

Probably calls Nook “Nook-Sensei”

“right away Nook-Sensei” or “you can count on me Nook-sensei!” Whenever Nook asks him something

Rock Lees fav activity is literally just completing whatever a character asks him to do. Like constantly does quests and enjoys it. Wtf

If there is workout furniture on animal crossing, best believe it’s in Rock Lees house

He gets so pissy when Kiba won’t let him on his Island

Invites everyone to his island and forces them onto a tour of it.

Also his character looks so fucking similar to himself that it’s eerie

Kiba will make fun of him for it (Shino will probably join in too)

#animal crosing new horizons #animal crossing #anime #naruto headcanons #naruto shippuden #naruto x reader #kiba inuzuka #neji hyuuga #choji akimichi #rock lee #shino aburame

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reynesofcastamere · 4 years

Text

Surface Breach(2/3)[β]

(A/N: Good grief but it has been a while since my last contribution to the ship. Sad to say I’ve been caught up with several irl things, including moving and settling in to the new place. Rest assured, I do have several drafts in the works for other projects and I am hoping to set up a regular writing/submission schedule. Now that that’s out of the way...Warnings for: possessive behaviour, emotional manipulation, (negotiated) bondage, blindfolding, edging, cockwarming, blood, masochism and mentions of polyamory, coitus interruptus, and non-consensual play. Unbeta’d and NSFW.)

Ahsoka knows the second she sets foot on her ship that time is up. She could still flee, drag this game out a bit longer and drive up the level of his frustration...But what would be the point, really? It’s been months since they parted ways, and while she hasn’t avoided his calls, she’s also made a point of not meeting with him in person. A reprimand for his behaviour, and a reminder of the challenge she’d issued. She recalls the first, trembling breath of relief she’d taken after the medical scans were complete. He has no further hold over her than this. Nothing burrowed and secreted away beneath her skin to...Do any number of things, really. Most of which she’d rather not consider right now.

Maul is of course perfectly at ease in the pilot’s seat, already turned to face her. “Lady Tano. I trust that your last assignment was successful.” He’s being neutral, bordering on pleasant, even. But the tension is there, kept in check by the slimmest thread of restraint. “And I trust that you’re not here for small talk.” Ahsoka makes certain to keep a few feet of distance between them, arms crossed. The corner of his mouth twitches, the speed of it leaving her unsure of whether he meant to smirk or grimace. “You have business on Nar Shadaa, and I have certain...interests that need tending there.” “So you decided to catch a ride. Without asking.” “You would have refused even if I had offered compensation. This is the most expedient method of travel.” Maul’s eyes narrow, attempting to pierce through and determine her intent. “Unless you plan to run in order to spite me.” “I’m not running anywhere.” Ahsoka retorts. “But I’m also not going to spend three whole days in hyperspace...entertaining you.” “Naturally. However, when we are not occupied with tasks and other essentials, you will make good on your promise, my Lady. Now please, sit.” She takes up residence in the navigator’s seat, given that he’s obviously not willing to move. “I told you to stop calling me that.”

“What does it matter, if you are not truly mine? Just a monster’s delusion. Unless...”

“Don’t. Start. You can use either of my names. Just not...that.” “As you wish.”

Nothing else is said for some time. Even after the ship takes off, the course is set in, and space has blurred into blue lines, there are other responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Ahsoka has to stop herself from dragging out the time. She’s not looking forward to this. The discussion she needs to have with him, not what might happen afterward.

“Look, if this is going to continue, there need to be some ground rules.”

“Explain.”

“First off: Unless I’m badly injured or in immediate danger, you’re not allowed to just...carry me back to your lair, no matter what your reasons are.” He’s more than capable of coming up with a multitude of excuses to do so. Which is why she’s cutting him off at the knees, figuratively speaking. “Second: This arrangement doesn’t interfere with work. Ever. Third: I decide when anything starts. You’re not allowed to grab or molest me in any way before that.”

Maul appears mildly amused, but the small tics that betray his impatience are growing. “This seems rather excessive for a casual arrangement.”

Ahsoka pins him in place with a look and a hint of a Force hold. “I’m not finished. Fourth: Any marks left behind have to be concealable.” She’d walk away from this ‘business trip’ with more visible punctures in her than being dropped into a giant cacti forest on Yavin 13 otherwise. “Fifth: No matter how far along we are, if I say ‘kyber’, we stop what we’re doing. No questions, no persuasion, nothing. If you don’t have a safeword, then pick one and tell me.”

“Is ‘stop’ somehow inadequate?” The question is soft as she releases her unseen grasp on him. Even seated, something in him reminds her of a hunter in the moment before a kill; tense with anticipation and bloodthirst. “No.” She wets her lower lip. There’s no going back from this confession, hard as it had been for her to admit it to herself. Much less him. “When I use ‘stop’, it usually means ‘go harder’.”

Maul’s grip is practically throttling the armrest at this point. He is trying, from the shudder in his breath, to follow the rules she’s set out so far. That’s a good sign. His eyes, though? There’s a flicker in them that she used to see from the people she’d helped or rescued during the war. The ones who fully believed that the Jedi were capable of miracles and could do no wrong. A kind of...awe. Achingly soft, and in his case, almost buried beneath avarice and raw desire. She fights the urge to squirm, and it’s not entirely from discomfort. “Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Good, ‘scimitar’ should suffice. I have some conditions of my own.” Every word is a caress, heavy and deliberate. “You are, of course, free to object.” He produces the blindfold she’d given him from within his shirt. She remembers exactly how he’d taken her apart; bound by choice and utterly enthralled. “So long as you wear this, you will obey.” Maul purrs, heat suffusing her body as he winds and pulls the fabric taut between his fingers. “I’m not going to call you ‘Master’.” Ahsoka is certain he’d like almost nothing more. She gets far too much pleasure out of denying him, however. So he’ll have to earn it first.

“Yet.” Maul responds, overconfident ass that he is. “I have no desire for you to dull your tongue. But you will submit to my commands.” He leans in, nearly closing the gap between them, but not quite. “Such as if I tell you to get down on your knees and show me how you pleasure yourself.” He’s only saying it to provide an example, yet her thighs rub together all the same at the thought. Sightless, her cunt exposed and dripping while he watches, giving obscene praise and instructions on how to bring herself to orgasm.

“Should you want to take control, all you need do is remove it. Or ask that it be taken off.” Of course he’s not done yet. Has to finish having his say first, and bring her arousal to a fever-pitch with the only options currently allowed. “Any amount of marks you receive from other paramours, I will match in number, and I will take first priority.” There is a jealous glint, a madness in his eyes that should terrify her. “Regardless of your position and how close your mutual release is.” Ahsoka sucks in a sharp breath. “You really expect me to just...make someone leave while they’re-” “Yes.” Maul snarls, hushed and vicious in a way that brooks no refusal. Much as she might like to, if she does not compromise, give some inch of ground...He will lash out. Ultimately, he’s not asking for much. So far. “And should you draw a weapon on me again-” His left hand circles her jaw without actually making contact, though the intent is clear. “-be prepared to use it.” Her gaze falls to his throat, his markings almost concealing the burn scar she’d given him. But not quite. That he’d chosen to keep it at all is- “Do we have an agreement, Ahsoka Tano?”

A small eternity seems to pass between her indrawn breath and the resulting answer. “Yes.” Ahsoka looks at him again without fear. Straight into the eyes of the monster, the murderer, the tyrant she has and will be taking into her bed for the forseeable future. “Go ahead.” The first kiss is nothing short of a conquest, taken with broken vocalizations and sharp bites. She lets him pull her in, straddling his lap in the pilot’s seat while they break for air, and offering no resistance when he ties the blindfold securely in place. “Undress. Completely.” Softer now, his lips ghosting along her jawline. It takes a bit of effort, but before long she is bared to him, nipples pebbled from arousal, the air, and the cold presence of the Dark Side. The body beneath her, the bare hands that trace and mould her form are nearly white-hot by comparison. “Perfect...Turn around, and place your hands behind my neck.” Ahsoka obeys, shuddering in pleasure as he purrs. The cuffs he attaches to her wrists are made of some kind of leather, and she instinctively tests the give of the metal chain between them. Sturdy, but nothing she can’t break out of.

The position leaves her undeniably exposed and at his mercy. She expects none, yet he grants it anyway. With each stroke, squeeze, and tug of his fingers down her body, he steadily tunes her nerves to exquisite sensitivity. He never quite touches her core, preferring to caress and grip her inner thighs and the curve of her breasts even as she pants and shifts restlessly. She can feel him against her, hard and unyielding, the cloth barrier separating them gradually being saturated with her essence. And still he makes no effort to hurry things along. “I thought you wanted to -haaaaahhhh- punish me for making you wait this long.” “You made a game of testing my patience. It is only fitting that I return the favour. I will keep you here, on the precipice between agony and bliss...Until, in your desperation, you beg me to ‘stop’.” Maul pinches her throbbing bud and she whines an incoherent stream of vowels. “Although...Hm. Your impulsive side is endearing.”

“What are you rambling on ab-AnnnnnH!” He bites down on her shoulder while slightly twisting the bundle of nerves held captive between his digits. She’s bleeding and the pain between her legs is pure torture, but she still wants-

‘I will grant your release early. If you ask to be fucked.” “You can’t be serious.” “Three simple words are all that stand in your way.”

“Why not just order me to say it?”

“Why should I, when you so clearly want to? Despite your self-denial.” There’s no longer anything gentle about his touch, how his nails dig in and rake across her inner thighs while her shoulders and upper back gain a rapidly-growing collection of teeth-marks. His shaft is still there, still covered and rigid, rubbing against her hot and sodden core. Ahsoka is on the verge of sobbing. Or breaking her restraints to just seize what he’s dangling in front of her. But if all it takes is a couple of words...”Please, fuck me.” She whispers, rough from repressing her whimpers.

“Again.” His lips on her throat, feeling the command rumbling against her vocal cords.

She grits her teeth and snarls. “Fuck. Me. Please. You smug, overbearing bastard.” Maul’s fingers curve over and tug her recently-abused pearl, and she is lost, sent tumbling and screaming into the abyss.

Her body is still quivering in the aftermath when he presses in. A slow invasion, one that encounters no resistance until he is fully secured within her walls. At first, she thinks he just wants her to ride him. Yet before she can start... “I will give you a choice.” Maul’s voice is low enough to feel in her bones. “If you can keep relatively still for fifteen minutes, you will be taken against the control panel. And if you are very good, Ahsoka-” Her name on his lips is electric and scandalous, her body arching as if pulled by unseen strings. “-I will get down on my knees and devour you first.” She should never have given him permission to use it in the first place. His other...’endearments’ are easy to brush off. Somehow, hearing those three syllables in this moment is more intimate than having him inside her, feeling the incremental shifts between their bodies with each breath.

Ahsoka raises herself up, almost to the point of letting his shaft slip out, then drops back down. She can feel him hiss, how his hips jolt up on instinct once before he stops himself. “Mmmm. Think your other option is bad enough to stop me from putting this to better use?” She’s teasing now, circling and rolling her hips in a way that takes him deep, but not all the way in again. Having Maul relatively immobile is a new experience. Even when he’s not being rough, he’s hardly still. It probably won’t last, but so long as his patience holds out...Using him like a sex toy is doing a lot to rev her up right now. He seizes her head-tail and pulls, bending Ahsoka’s neck back at an uncomfortable angle, free hand grasping one of her thighs to force a stop to her movements. “Keep this up and I assure you, ja’ti mirtis{my death}, you will not enjoy sitting when I am done with you.” Maul rasps, his mouth so close to her left montral that she can feel his lips brushing against it with every word. Her core trembles, breath coming in short, sharp pants. “I wonder which would bring you more pleasure? Being bent over the edge of your cot to be mounted and used...Or disciplined until that option becomes a mercy?” Something like insanity seizes her. It’s the only explanation for what she says next. “Both.” Ahsoka breathes. “I want-Take these off, please.” The light is harsh for the few seconds it takes her eyes to adjust, wrists slightly chafed from the cuffs as she carefully turns to face him. “I need both.” Her hands gently circle his face. “Can you do that? Get me ready with your mouth, and take me nice and slow right here?” He seems transfixed, almost unable to believe the words falling from her lips. “Think of how wet I’ll be, when you’ve finished your ‘discipline’ and I’m just aching to be ruined.” Ahsoka can taste the hunger when he captures her mouth, how similar it is to her own. Her nails claw at his shoulderblades, seeking purchase, to bury herself in him, anything. “Yes, Ahsoka.” Maul whispers, between their lips meeting in repeated, feverish collisions. “You have only to ask.” (A/N: Some of you may have noticed a slight change in the numbers up top. So yes, there will be one more chapter to this particular story. 8D Cheers, everyone!)

#maulsoka #ns.fw #this might just be the kinkiest thing i've written so far #time will tell though lol

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rpbetter · 3 years

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Hi Vespertine. Sorry to add to the pile, I promise I will send in some writing related things to compensate later. I also misgendered that user in a comment by accident with she/her. I blocked them, but they still looked at my blog, and they made a post that said by using the wrong pronouns, which they thought was intentional and meant to hurt them, I purposefully called them a hysterical woman stereotype. Obviously that wasn't true. I was just going off a comment someone else made on my blog where they used she/her, and I thought I had to correct myself. It was a case where good intentions, even if I was not happy with the user's behavior or expected to talk to them again, I was still going to use the right pronouns, but my intentions were warped by someone with an agenda. I'm sorry to hear you're getting the same heat. I didn't use my rp blog to interact with the user or talk about them because I was sure something like this would happen, either by them or other people like that callout blog, and I think other people had the same idea. I dodged a bullet there, but I'm still paranoid. I'm paranoid I'll hear a notif and see my rp blog in a callout for this, because someone hunted it down, or a callout for trying to talk to the person who started all the drama. Nobody should be scared to talk about someone on their own blog. Nobody should be scared to talk openly, in general. Nobody should be called out for trying to talk with someone either. This culture of fear is so disturbing to me.

Hey there, Anon!

Oh, I would love that, but you totally don't have to, of course. Don't feel bad for adding on, I'm here for anything at all, and honestly, with the job I'm doing IRL right now, it's really hard for me to concentrate well enough on finishing any of the advice posts (at least, to be the quality y'all deserve). It's a hot topic, it's included so, so, terribly many people in the RPC. It's also one that's generating some great, needed conversations. So, it isn't like you're adding to anything bad, annoying or distracting me, or contributing to the inflammatory side of this.

Hell, it's got to be really nice for some of the people in messages I've received to see proof that they weren't alone in this experience. I can keep publishing the hate anons for exactly that reason, and I can promise people they aren't the only ones (in this or in any such horrible behavior), but it's different to see it coming from a third party! So, thank you for that.

Though, I am deeply sorry that you were treated to more than a ringside seat in this debacle.

It's not very encouraging to be thoughtful and respectful of other people when literally nothing you can say or do will result in anything other than more twisting of your words, and that's a big problem I have with this shit. Things like actual transphobia, intentional misgendering, actual infantalization and shit treatment of ND people, actual harassment, etc. etc. etc. matter. It's just more trivializing of real problems for the sake of blowing nonexistent bullshit up, and that is immensely disgusting to me. The fact that you damn well know someone out there has had the reaction to this behavior of, well, fuck you then, fuck trans people is really upsetting.

Like, yeah, let's be real, if you require social rewards to do the right thing, you have some problems lol but at the same time, you know who does require social rewards to develop themselves? Young people. And the RPC is largely comprised of people in their early twenties who, for a variety of possible reasons, are still at that point

Furthermore, no, it's not anyone's job to be good representation at all times, especially when that performance comes at a cost to themselves, but maybe don't go out of your way to be the person that is the necessary push in the wrong direction of someone's formative experience with people of your community. If it's costing you nothing to not clown on serious issues, but is costing the entire world another bigot for you to clown on serious issues, the choice should be a bit obvious here. Whenever you're in a safe place - physically, emotionally - and capable of that kind of logic, exercise it, damn.

It's definitely a better course of action than playing out skewed activism by vilifying innocent people, more worthy of one's effort than losing their collective shit over a very easy mistake. One that I'd say was even less avoidable in your case. AGAIN, how, exactly is anyone supposed to know this shit when they're blocked? When they aren't subverting the blocks they, themselves, put in place? I know for a fact none of them are looking at the information of the people they choose to try to drive out of the RPC, but everyone else is supposed to make zero reasonable assumptions, check and recheck blogs they have made an effort not to visit for good reason. Sounds absolutely reasonable and sane!

So, you know what? I'm going to be even more offensive here and talk for a moment about why these mistakes are reasonable.

When we see a post and reblog it, it's not unreasonable to assume that the OP had knowledge we didn't. Since we blocked the offending party, but they're discussing them. OP uses the incorrect pronouns, we end using the incorrect pronouns as well. This is not malicious intent. It isn't intentional at all, it's just having a discussion. A discussion that wouldn't have even transpired if they hadn't taken it upon themselves to (what a coincidence) take personal issue with a RPer they repeatedly took out of context and decided to shame for it, before proceeding to get an even bigger stick and pot.

When we decide to block a blog, it's our responsibility to stay off of it. Not go looking at it for any reason. That is now off-limits. When someone blocks us, it's also our responsibility to respect that decision, no matter how outrageous it was, no matter what we might need to verify. That's the issue with blocking when we don't exploit how easy it is to get around blocking on tumblr; we've cut ourselves off from any further meaningful communication, including passive communication like rules and posts. Kind of like how you cannot expect an apology to mean a damn thing when you've blocked everyone you harassed, then made that apology in a post on your blocked blog. Don't put up walls you expect people to see through, then get upset when they can't see through them.

As a community, the RPC is primarily afab. That's never a problem to bring up when someone wants to be angry about their female muse not getting equal attention and so on, but it's a problem to discuss any other time, about any other problem. Dealing with the things that we're socially raised to ascribe to as afab people is that problem. It's reflected in our behaviors, interests, and speech. We may not want to live in a gendered world, we may eschew that, but we were raised in a gendered world and it shows. One which has a lot of complications for being that, like almost everyone feeling safer around afab people by default of the All Men Are Bad, All Women Are Harmless bullshit.

We not only know that the RPC is primarily afab, we tend to assume comfort, especially in hostile situations, by assuming those pronouns in others.

And it so does not matter how much any of us like it, some people have more masculine or feminine tones. Even in text. That means neither that someone's gender identity should be disregarded nor that this text-based presentation is correct, but like every other unfair thing that exists, it's a thing. Like you, Anon, you genuinely come across in tone as primarily neutral, slight lean toward masculine. Even if I wasn't inclined to do so, not knowing you and all, I'd use they/them for you instinctively because that's what your speech is giving me. That isn't any more unreasonable than ascribing another set of pronouns based on the same information.

Oh yeah, I know, lurkers, the difference is that they/them is the appropriate choice when one does not know. I know that logically, but people aren't always operating like robots, weirdly enough. We default to a lot of instinctive behaviors, and we aren't always operating at the top rung of cognition either. Being human works like that, it's really that simple and not malicious if you're not reading that into it.

As we're all aware, it is being read into, and your experience is exactly why; you now feel worried every time you get a notif, you've been outed as a supposed transphobe, and while it is incredibly fortunate you stopped this from transpiring on your RP blog, it still transpired somewhere and has had a negative effect. If they find they correct thing or set of things, they can get so many more people to dogpile you over it. Get enough people to do that, make someone miserable enough, especially people who are already going through a hard enough time already, they'll leave.

It is a terroristic act, and it has the effect of all terroristic acts; people are afraid to exist outside of shifting bounds (that shifting is a part of the terrorism). They can't have an opinion, write any muse/topic they wish, be honest on their own blogs, support the "wrong" topics, muns, or blogs. Attacking people for a mistake, not allowing them to address it either, just furthers all of that. It's showing the community what happens when you aren't on the "right" side, even if that isn't even the case. They certainly turn on their own quickly enough.

So, of course, it's a culture of fear and it is disturbing as hell. No one has any right to make someone feel unsafe over fiction or a hobby or a difference of opinion. Everyone has the right to say whatever they want on their own blogs, to talk openly, and yes, to try to talk to others without feeling at risk.

Even if what someone says is genuinely unpleasant. This isn't the way one handles it. By all means, have a problem with something, have a problem with someone, but grow up and talk to them openly, without bringing everyone you can dredge up to join in. I have no issue with people arguing, I have an issue with bullying. If it's your whole goal to harass people without consequences to the end result of deactivation and lockstep behavior from everyone else, that's what you're doing, folks. Bullying.

If you can't win an argument, especially one your own ass began, in any other way than this, you're not engaging in an argument.

#vespertine #answered #anonymous #callout culture #rp harassment

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gilmesc1 · 4 years

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Sacrificing my remaining braincells to the void

Ok friends, you requested it, you awaited it, I’ve cleaned out my ears to remove the melted remains of my brain, here we go, we’re doing this, tell my partner I love them. It’s time...for syscourse analysis.

So this is a very bare bones run through of syscourse, it’s as basic as it gets and if need be I’ll focus on components of it after I recover.

So, syscourse is literally the words system+discourse. Bet you guys never saw that coming. 20 seconds into this fucking mess and we already have a major plot twist. And I know what you guys are thinking. A bunch of traumatized people not getting along? Another plot twist!

Jesus I better tone down the sarcasm.

Anyways, what the fuck even has to happen to have syscourse, apparently two types of systems. Yes friends, two types of systems, and I’m not talking DID and OSDD (which are really quite similar).

Our players are traumagenic systems and endogenic systems. Traumagenic systems are systems that formed out of trauma, like DID and OSDD systems. Naturally this plunks me down in the traumagenic catagory, thanks to my big fucking mess of trauma. So we got that down, moving on to endogenic.

So an endogenic system is a system that supposedly split without trauma. No idea where the word endo comes from. Or like, what the fuck endo even means as a word like trauma. (Maybe I want to endo myself after reading a bunch of syscourse? Ok, ok that was bad.)

The biggest issue once you get down to it is who is the Real System tm, and do other systems belong in each other’s tags. This is the part where I’d smoothly bring you all to a good starting point, but *insert deity here* help me, there isn’t one.

Syscourse seems to be older than mankind itself mongrels, because I cannot find where it started and who the tags belonged to first. So for those of you who like to visualize, picture two dogs chasing each other’s tails, running in a circle, and that is syscourse.

So let’s break it down more. I, and I’m sure many others, flocked to tumblr to find others who experience what I do, that being traumagenic system stuff. Again, we have trauma that results in our system’s creation. And that’s all fine and good, sure not everyone gets along with each other but for the most part all us systems are vibing and sharing memes and posts.

Now like I said, to be an endogenic system you are a system without trauma, and to me this is a little confusing. Brains aren’t made to be multiple and I’m the clusterfuck I am because of trauma, but to just magically thanos snap a system into existence? That I have a harder time wrapping my mind around.

There are a lot of examples of endo systems, but the ones I’ll be looking at today are tulpas. What is a tulpa? Well at first I thought it was a ghost thingy that you get by thinking about it, (supernatural anyone?) but now that I look into it, it’s apparently a Tibetan religious practice.

So we have science vs spirituality. This spells disaster already for syscourse.

So to get a better idea of tulpas than I could give you, I’d recommend looking at tumblr posts on tulpas because I’m in sarcasm mode and not really in a position to educate about those. Long story short it’s a thought process where you can essentially create a second being that is similar to an alter, as it exists in a headspace and can switch in.

Now I said headspace and switch in on purpose, because that is where the issue lies. Endos and traumagenics fight about words like that, and who they belonged to first. Can an endo use the words system, fronting, ect when they are scientific words specifically for DID or OSDD, or can traumagenics use the word multiplicity when it supposedly came from tulpamancy?

Side note: Guys do not lecture me on words, I’m trying to give examples, sorry but I don’t have my words for traumagenics dictionary on me rn, that’s in my other hoodie.

The majority of day to day syscourse is endos and traumagenics “infiltrating” each other’s tags and safe spaces, and ruining everyone’s day. From what I have seen, many traumagenics do not want endos to interact with them, and personally I see a few good reasons for this.

1, mental illness is not a trend and DID and OSDD are very very rough to live with. With there currently being a lack of scientific evidence on the existence of tulpas, I understand how it can seem that some are cashing in on the “DID hype” and giving off this romanticized view of being a system.

2. People with DID might be looking for specific DID info, and having to strain through irrelevant topics to them might be heavily stressful.

3. We’re traumatized and random things can set us off. This is the internet and I think everyone is at least a little toxic, and both sides have said shit to each other, but when people get triggered its easy to lose control. Not an excuse, tis merely a fact.

I’ve seen endos post things like “all systems are valid” and it’s a nice sentiment, in my heart of hearts behind my black toxic drama loving one, I’d like it if systems could just get along, but on a topic as complex as mental illness I don’t think that’ll happen.

I’ve seen both sides say things that were really uncalled for, and there’s no right or wrong answer overall in a fight like this. Naturally I’m team traumagenic but as for whether or not I feel like endos are valid or not, jury’s still out on that.

Hear me out, I have heard the theory that endo systems can help deal with trauma despite not being formed by trauma, and I’ve met a few people irl and seen things that confused me. Maybe they were traumagenic systems who didn’t know their trauma, idk.

I really don’t want drama. I’m sure systems on both sides are good people but like I said, the internet is toxic. (btw I love you mutuals, you are all good people)

In my humble opinion syscourse is stupid. I think there definitely should be a discussion about endos and traumagenics, but like can we talk like adults and not be like “WE’RE ALL VALID UWUUUU” with a string of toxicity behind it.

That level of back and forth is dizzying and irritating, and quite honestly I don’t want to deal with it. This is me trying to be neutral and give an overview, but that’s hard as I am traumagenic myself, and I don’t really understand the other side.

That’s why I’m not going to say I reject endos. I need to figure out more for myself and since this does leak into my personal life i want to do it carefully. I’m open to polite discussions, but I really want to keep out of syscourse drama.

Another side note: Something I think that is especially stupid is the amount of outrage over users saying they dni with endos. It’s a choice for that person and it should be respected. Like how I have personal reasons for keeping discussion open, others have personal reason for closing it. That should be respected and not ranted about. There are thousands of tumblrs, find one that isn’t dni and leave those people alone.

Additionally, if any endos do want to talk I’d prefer if you dm me, as I want to keep my blog traumagenic focused, both for my followers and for me, out of respect for those who don’t want any endogenic content and for me so i don’t wear out my three brain cells (I’m accepting name ideas for them)

To end this, I don’t want drama, nothing makes it easier for me to cave to my vices then drama, and syscourse is so freaking tiring that it would be like rolling around like sandpaper to get involved.

So there it is, my useless, sarcastic post on syscourse. Let’s see how many followers I lose, and if need be I can look into more stuff about syscourse since this is an overview.

Again this was supposed to be neutral and not necessarily all of my views, I’ll get more personal on it later maybe, but tbh I’m too fucking tired for that rn. Chronic illness, hell yeah.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, I’m impressed I wrote it all, have a good day guys, I have to go to a party while feeling like my body is leading a rebellion.

I don’t even like people, why am I going XD

But hey shout out to social distancing, I’m using my personal space bubble and NO ONE can stop me.

Ok, time to give the braincells a rest. See you guys

#DID #OSDD #actuallydid #actuallymultiple #actuallytraumagenic #syscourse #system #actuallydissociative #dissociative identity disorder #alters #didosdd #endogenic system #traumagenic system #tulpas

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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here’s the matter of fact text post re: i guess i achieved the goal of an intermittent thing i’d do where i’d try to find anyone online talking about the ‘weird’ experience i have with masturbation which is, inherently, not exciting or anything but it’s like, even if i just Know of course it’s not just me, i want to like, hear someone else talk about anything similar ever, b/c so far it’s just a text post i saw once and can’t ever rediscover and someone talking about their experience that stems from an inapplicable physical trauma so....Yay, seeing as it’s been years i’ve been like “seriously though” lmao

i was like Lol @ myself b/c i was like “man after i try for like 30 sec to crank it it a) doesn’t go anywhere hardly and b) i lose interest Way fast and it’s like mildly annoying” and so i thought about that post that’s like [me after sex: well that was a waste of my goddamn time. anyway back to speedrunning] but that’s me after a halfhearted attempt to masturbate and not really getting anything out of it anyways lmaoo like. it’s okay or i wouldn’t even bother fairly regularly but also it tends to end with like, me going off on a distracted tangent for even a moment and it can just hit an absolute brick wall like okay i don’t even have the Interest in continuing with this anymore like i might’ve had before starting like Well That Was A Waste Of My Goddamn Time Anyway Back To [whatever it is that i do]

and then like either that same night or the next my dreams had the audacity to get deeply uncomfortable for no reason like. all i do is have Anxiety Dream Themes thrown together where like. for example as i write this, two nights ago i had a dream segment about “i’m on vacation at the beach” but it was all Anxiety b/c it’ll all be about how i can hardly visit said beach coz i keep getting sidetracked at the hotel or w/e while i’m Trying to visit it while i still can, and last night i had the same Theme but trying and failing to ride roller coasters (which i Enjoy irl) and like, the beach one in particular recurs not Too infrequently lmao where i’m surprised by the rarity of something like “you’re at the beach and it’s fun” lol.......i don’t have anything i’d call a nightmare too often but Anxiety / a somewhat threatening/worrisome situation is like, fairly constant lol, with some occasionally more neutral stuff and a really rare Fun Dream but anyways it was still Bizarre that my dreams pitched me “you’re Someone who i guess is dating this abstract Partner and the scenario is you feel obligated to have sex with them” and it was weird like, woke up the next day like “why did my brain drag me through this deeply unpleasant dream situation” like. not totally unheard of for my dreams to touch on a Scene ft. sex and/or physical intimacy and even on occasion it’ll be an “i’m (or whoever i am as a maybe semi-abstract First Person camera character lol maybe ft. some particular concept attached to the ‘role’) having some sexual encounter and it’s Fine or enjoyable” but it’s generally fleeting As Per Usual Dream Structure and it’s like why was this one that sucked like, particularly dragged out by those usual dream standard’s, come on

anyways so going “haha i’m living the Waste Of My Goddamn Time thing” and “well thank you to my own brain for a bizarre and unpleasant experience while i’m just trying to be passed tf out” i was like “let’s look up again why not only can i not seem to orgasm but also like even expecting a way lower level of stimulation still Disappoints sometime like why do i bother” and yeah after first going the “does anyone Never manage to Not slam into a brick wall / basically completely lose interest all at once or practically all at once even and it all goes back to zero even if you started at like maybe a 1 or 1.5 and sometimes it happens with going down a random mental track” route i interestingly got some cis guys going “yeah hate when that happens on occasion” but yeah by now i had of course given up on “can i come at this from an [experiencing sensory input and processing from an autistic angle] angle” like. idk still interested in that of course lmao but god is searching for it a bit exhausting. but yeah after i threw in an [-erectile] search modifier i got was like oh a result on a site about asexuality re: masturbation, why didn’t i think of That angle. idk but here we are

informative stuff but the comments section where people who wanted to read an [about: masturbation] on a site About asexuality were talking about their experiences was like. i had mentioned how it was Enlightening that one person said I Do Not Enjoy Orgasms lol like i have not really heard that angle vs “you might not enjoy sexual stimulation” and/or “you might not be able to orgasm” but not you Can orgasm but you Might Not Even Like It Really like. the person said yes they got the Peak Of Intense Pleasure out of the orgasm but not so much any kind of afterglow and felt like they get dropped back to where they were before even trying to masturbate (aka. square zero again lol) and just yeah outright mentioned Not Enjoying it and another person replied like Yep it’s like that for me too.........already i’m like man i don’t even approach anywhere near an orgasm Ever but man would not be surprised if, even if i theoretically was capable of the physical experience, it would be the same as this way lower level Waste Of My Goddamn Time deal lol.......it’s Hilarious too that like. say “being at all in the mood to try to spank it” is a Square/Level 1, i feel like yeah most of the time i’m only getting this shit going to a 1.5, maybe a 2 or 2.5 if we’re on fire......very very very rarely have i been like “hey that was like, a 3 or some shit, damn” and honestly it’s not like oh so that ruled and is motivation to continue b/c like. the Surprise of it throws me off and it’s not necessarily that Great a surprise, more just like, jeez, idk, it feels like A Bit Much that basically registers as Tension where i’m hardly encouraged to keep it up like, makes me wonder if that’s a Sensory Processing Thing aka how sometimes i try to get any more in depth info on the logistics of Experiencing Sexual Stimulation re: also being autistic and the variety of ways that can unfold (i do know that like. the Sensory thing apparently can sure be a factor in either direction, i.e. might cause some ppl to really not enjoy sexual stimulation Or to like, super enjoy it. allistic ppl who might realize “thinking sex is awesome” is “”normal,”” brilliant.....like u didnt also “realize” that stims like fidget cubes and weighted blankets can be enjoyed “”normally”” like. still having a diff experience here and shut it) and i remember one time i was like “c’est la vie i will purchase a vibrator (and i got a second, external one as some deal going on)” and it was just a No Go b/c. it didn’t feel “bad” in that it was not necessarily like, yep here’s some sexual stimulation, but it was like, overwhelming in a Not Good way, yet also not physically painful, and i realize vibrators are made w/ different intensities and i definitely got Mildest ones so it wasn’t that

anyways like yeah #tbt to a time i really gave it a go (vibrator-less) for truly just short of two solid hours......plenty of that was me at Square Zero and getting back to level 1 alone (aka like. feeling Any positive response at all lmao) was kind of an achievement and maybe there was some 1.5 or 2 in there but it wasn’t like i felt that motivated and Just Keeping At It was not necessarily helping so. that was a waste of my goddamn time

can’t really remember what i was doing differently the last time i kicked things up to maybe a solid 2-3 Zone for truly like One Moment lol.....think i was just getting a little more hands on (since usually a spike in intensity makes me go “[?? / !!] whoa :/” and i lose Any momentum and/or “progress”) and that spike in intensity made me go [?? / !!] Whoa :/ and it didn’t matter, just got back to zero as always, and it’s not like these “Achievements” are “Enlightening” where i’m then like wow everyone’s right, really Trying with this shit pays off like lol. i still make a cursory effort but really just to burn off that Level 1-ness if anything like. kinda like “yeah neat here we go” but like. probably literally a minute or two later it’s like well Anyways.......another fun detail is that it’s not Always like “oh i got off on some mental sidetrack and losing focus = losing like All of even this low level of arousal and im back at zero” like, i might be in the middle of things and Lose Interest even while i’m currently experiencing a nonzero level of “yep this is some sexual stimulation” lol but it’s just like smh Whatever @ it......like, on the one hand the Tension of the stimulation gets in its own way, but if i entirely lose that then it’s like well okay this isn’t gonna go anywhere, may as well stop

so anyhow here’s the Particular Comment where i was like “wow this is so similar to #me that i guess i’ve finally found Someone Talking About It* (*however it goes for me)”

i can’t say i’ve done the Holding My Breath thing on Purpose but now sometimes i do notice i do it (and have probably Been doing it) lol like oh there i went and Exhaled in a [was holding my breath] way lol coz like they say there with the Loss Of Any Tension and the Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing like yeah lmao. and very same with the Five Minutes Max thing b/c yeah it really can be even less than One Minute sometimes before it’s like yeah square zero or just i lose enough interest anyways, getting bored like they say, ugh like it’s a brief description obviously lmao but i’m like god well there it is i guess, the [i know it’s not Just Me experiencing this like this but i’d still fucking like to find anyone else actually talking about it] account For Once Finally, thanks for putting it out there, Disappointed and a lil bored

naturally there are also ppl in the comments talking about how masturbation is an enjoyable thing for them and particular tips there but like it is Hilarious to me how a) some people orgasm easily or like. orgasm if they put effort into masturbation lmaooo like fucking imagine. and b) idk it’s like well i’m sure i’ve made hundreds of attempts and not even any Near Misses, it is simply like, not happening and c) yet at the same time Like This Commenter it’s like “well is there just another way of doing it i somehow haven’t hit on” like naturally i have to wonder like well idk maybe it’d be diff with a sexual partner b/c yknow, the same stimulation from Someone Else vs Yourself, and yet d) ha ha of course i haven’t had sex which people Don’t think of as Not A Joke lmao i referred to this fact abt myself with some casual humor to someone and my temper flared up when that was later taken as a Cue for someone who is not me to jokingly reference it (by Temper Flaring i mean i got annoyed enough to go Do Not Do That e.g. the post that’s like “[asserts one boundary] i’m not a people pleaser anymore i’m actually a huge cunt now”) and i probably shouldn’t feel like i have to “justify” this as well somehow other people have probably tried to Make A Move re: me but i have not been into it like well, what if nobody had ever been Interested that i knew of, that would be fine too, but. i am aware that ppl think of this as a joke still lmao, and i have to say that. im already doing letters like a) b) c) aren’t i but whatever, starting over a) well i haven’t had All the opportunity in the world as i have at various points (but basically continuously) for various reasons been pretty isolated and b) idk i have not had all these signs that point to me wanting to have sex with people exactly lmao but it’s like, c) even if i go “well maybe there’s Exceptions out there or Situations That Will Be Conducively Different Than The Limited Range Of Ones I’ve Had So Far” it’s like, okay, i could still just continue to feel “nah :/” re: any “opportunity” that ever presents itself or whatever. it is all very abstract for me anyways, so it’s like, whatever. but i’m also not the most Glad to discuss it b/c idk a lot of this stuff i know is like A Joke including how i’m still simmering with resentment from a year ago or more over some Tweet i saw trying to dunk a meme about how asexuals are Anti-Psychology like, that’s an entire Other Essay there but needless to say for one thing i just pre-resent people hearing “could being autistic factor into the particular experience i have losing interest / arousal so easily (and inevitably as it’s big time primary anorgasmia around here)” and going “aha that makes sense b/c being ace means there’s something Dysfunctional going on cuz Lbr and bieng autistic means being a Fucked Up version of an allistic person and your autistacity is going to fuck up things about you which ought to function properly” like well that feeds right into itself in a loop and i hate it. and i know the whole “hehe someone who hasn’t had sex is a loser” thing is way engrained in there lmao ppl throw that punchline out all the time and like, idk, see the (i’m autistic) thing like it’s not like this is an unprecedented concept or the only front on which im like “i Know this is a thing ppl negatively judge in general but i also Know i do not buy into that or feel bad about it” like i do not personally consider myself cringe and fail for not having had sex ever and do not consider that Premise that someone is a joke for it to be true re: anyone but at the same time i know that this whole Awareness that people are shitty about it is frustrating to me lol. plus i think it is getting into the Entire Thing where concepts as broad as Maturity and Humanity At Its Most Complex And Worthwhile are considered intrinsically linked to romance and sex, which is something that i am somewhat self-conscious of being aromantic and [having never had sex and it could well be that i will not ever have sex even if The Opportunity(tm) is there] and i know it is frustrating to me b/c sometimes when i start to even talk about “i have not had sex yes im aware this is like (spit take) what a nerd, Sure” b/c i will easily cry out of frustration like 5 seconds in lol. which i cry easily enough but Usually getting teared up b/c i feel Hyped Up / Enthusiasm for something lmfao.......anyways plenty of tangents to go down here but my point is shoutout to the other person for also never orgasming and just being bored with masturbation if anything

and also to the people who were like “i can have / have had orgasms but i don’t actually enjoy it” like considering the way that [not like i experience anything even close to an orgasm but there is sometimes An Increase in arousal achieved, either a tiny raise in the Level or on occasion a bit of a kick which is mostly like “whoa tf chill out”] is overall Underwhelming even if there is Any enjoyment in it and the whole Back To Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing re: the entire lack of afterglow they mention and it’s like well that kinda feels like parallel experiences here lmao. which tbh is like. makes me care even less with like Humorous Annoyance at the fact that ppl are out here simply able to have orgasms and to have access to that just by like yep here i go masturbating lmaooo like okay

anyways idk how to Conclude this lmfao. Fun Fact i have hc’s about how winston billions who is autistic experiences sexual stimulation (he gets the Really Enjoys It kind of sensory processing time here lol) but i suppose the easiest simplest one to explain is the “remember the Tayston Crying Sex drawing, the idea is that things can be kinda overwhelming while still being Good if it’s handled right by his partner (or himself ig lol) and he can tear up as sort of an overflow thing” like well you probably already knew that was connected to the broader whole of Winston Billions Autistic Hc’s but in case you didn’t: it is

#me and ''Disappointed and a lil bored'' out here #round of applause from me to me....like the time i stumbled across the Source Media for some preview i remembered from a blockbuster vhs #like 20 yrs ago or whatever like ''am i making this sort of Distinctive memory up or modifying one to hell and back / combining them'' like #no i was not but it sure took me a While to mostly coincidentally find it via watching a list on youtube of like. partially Lost or just rly #obscure niche shit....it'd been a preview for a pc game for an ye olde disney series i'd never heard of in my life #anyways the point is it'd been something *i'd* been searching around for intermittently for a good while and managed to find and it was like #hooray but also i realize it's hardly relevant to like. much of anyone else but oh well good for me

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