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#and after that he had her medical care to worry about
cosmojjong · 1 year
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:(
#feeling sad#but also very numb as well#i keep swinging from crying to feeling nothing#i don't know when i'll actually realize that my grandpa is gone and i won't see him anymore#i don't think it's fully hit me yet#i cannot believe that it's happened#around two weeks ago we were sitting on his couch and he asked me to sit closer as we spoke#and then we held hands and talked about the trip i wanted to go on#that was the first time i had seen him after so long#and he was like 'my sweetheart i want to pay for that trip' and i was like 'oh no please don't worry'#and he said he really wanted to do it for me#his hand was a bit wrinkly but big and warm and he always had this sweet smile on his face#i always felt so cared for and so safe in his presence#he was the first and only man who loved me with his heart#i was his little chick his only granddaughter and even when i grew big he would give me pocket money or pay for my ice cream#i just cannot fathom a life without him#sending messages to my grandma i'd always include him and now it's nothing anymore#even yesterday i went to her house as he passed in the morning#and the alarms went off as he was supposed to take medication but of course he didn't#i felt my heart sinking then#i felt like he would come out of the bedroom or the bathroom but he didn't#when i went to the bathroom his shoes were there.. untouched.. he won't wear them ever again#i don't know why i'm sharing all this here but i don't get the time to be emotional in real life#not because someone's stopping me but because there's so much to decide on and to sort out suddenly#and the fact that his will is that we fly him to where he was born so we can bury him there#but i don't know if i'll be able to go with my health issues#and if i don't go i'm going to beat myself up over it so much because how could i not attend his funeral#when he did so much for me#he'd starve and save up money for me to be able to have clothes and find warm food on my table when i was a child#he did so much for me and yet i am over here debating and worrying over the flight and over everything
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roseband · 2 years
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not me doing (paid) overtime on the weekend to keep my mind off my fucking influx of doctors appointments in the next months
#gbeurgbuig me 5 months ago: omg i know what's wrong w/ me im so happy!!!#me after wednesday after a doctor looked at me for 15 minutes w/o me suggesting what i thought it was: oh my god im so upset i can puke#i thought i was gonna have between 4-6 of minor criteria... it's 7 LOL like oof#they have to rule out two of the scary types tho... cuz i have family history of cardiovascular incidents on my mom's side and know#nooooothing at all abt my dad's side's medical history bc they dont talk about health (brunooooo nonono)#so they have to rule out marfans (im not tall im fine) and veds (my skins different im fine) to be careful#im only worried about that cuz my dad looks like jonathan larson and a bit of his chest caves in#and also he had two mris one on brain one on heart... when he and my mom were getting divorced#she didn't realize he was still on her insurance until she got letters about him accessing care#and like?? he wouldn't say what they were for :// bc like my mom wanted to know that he wouldn't drop dead driving w/ me btwn ny and ma so#wanna know what those were for?????? especially cuz i need heart scans now#but since i have skeletal muscular and skin involvement they have to check my heart :/#like i know w/ the information on hand (and the dumb us politics at the time) my parents made the right choice to not have me gene tested#as a toddler... but also i wish i had those ruled out already....#can't believe i only have health insurance rn bc john mccain had cancer LMFAO i hate it here????#personal
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My Champion (Mouse series) - Max Verstappen
Summary: Max had a hard weekend not feeling so good and he gives full credit to Mouse for getting him through it, so he gives "the real champion" the medal
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Y/n had been fussing over Max upon realising he had a headache this morning, it's since spanned into a fever and the medic said he'd be fine to get in the car for practices and the rest of the weekend.
"I'm ok, mouse." Max states as he waits for the start of FP3.
He's got worse since yesterday and they've got ice pads on him to try and break his fever with a more aggressive method. Not advised which makes her worry more.
"You're not." She mumbles almost annoyed that he won't give himself just one session to rest especially before qualifying.
Max smiles kissing her cheek while she sighs, placing the back of her hand on his neck to get how hot he is. Answer? Very.
"You're still hot." Y/n murmurs while Max sighs gently rubbing her sides before smiling when she picks up his red bull bottle and holds the straw up for him to take a drink.
"Bedankt." Max smiles then gently cupping her face and rubbing her skin with his admittedly slightly clammy hand but she doesn't even hesitate to lean into his touch.
"You're going to do amazing out there." Y/n whispers as a mechanic passes a little too closely for her liking to be so loud.
"I'll make you proud out there, mouse." Max states matching her volume while she smiles lightly. "Don't move from here."
Y/n nods handing him his water bottle which earns a small smile before he moves back from her.
-
After qualifying Max got told to leave immediately after y/n led the way with his trainer moving with them to drive them to the hotel.
"You should eat. You can't be weak tomorrow." Y/n sighs not so quiet now they're on their own. The lack of response makes her go to turn but she is stopped when she feels his arms around her and his face dig down in her neck.
His fever broke despite all odds, almost as if he sweat himself out of it in the heat of the cockpit.
"Shower first?" Y/n offers in a whisper feeling him squeeze her more tightly.
"Yes." Max agrees with a heavy sigh seeming like the last thing he wants to do is let go of her.
Rarely is he the needy one between them, he protects his little mouse and makes sure she always feels safe with or without him there. But today, while he's not feeling great and after he's just had to endure one of the most testing days.
All he wants is y/n to hold onto.
So he does, he lets her help him shower and clean up, he lets her order him something that is of sustenance from room service then lies with him in bed and just lets him somewhat latch onto her.
"Mouse, I don't know what I'd do without you." Max states looking up at her, breaking the silence that was only filled by the movie y/n had put on as background noise. "People keep asking when we are going to get married and when I'm going to-"
"I'm happy with how things are, Max." Y/n cuts in knowing that Max is being pressured by the media and public about proposing. "We don't need to be any other way. This is us."
Y/n may be a woman of few words, especially compared to her talkative boyfriend.
"I love you, mouse."
"I love you too, Maxie." Y/n sighs then smiling lightly when he kisses her tummy.
She almost asks how he is feeling but she knows the answer and there's no point in wasting her breath. Instead, she'll hold him and comfort him. Make sure he's hydrated and doesn't start to decline with his health again before tomorrow.
-
Y/n sits watching Max with careful eyes ahead of the race. Talking to GP and other engineers.
The camera seems to watch her, as is becoming a more regular occurrence. Despite Max making multiple efforts to either ensure the Red Bull mechanics block her from the view or her does so himself.
Today, he steps over blocking her from the cameras which she's trying not to look at but it's obviously making her flustered.
"You do not have to stare at me. I'm feeling better."
"Feeling better isn't feeling good." Y/n murmurs earning a look from the Dutchman. "You're still going to win."
"I'll win for you. Because without you. I'd not be feeling as well as I do." Max smiles but it clearly doesn't do much to bring her a lot of comfort when it comes to her worry. "If I promise you that we can go home and I will let you instruct me of how to recoup. Will you forgive me for doing the race then?"
"I don't want you to get sick again." Y/n mumbles before finally smiling when he cups her face and kisses all around her skin, dodging her lips in fear of making her ill. Though there's no doubt he's already put her at risk of that.
"Wish me luck?" Max prompts making her straighten her spine a little.
"Good luck." Y/n nods before he moves back and climbs into the car, ready to drive it to the grid.
She watches him prep as usual, speaking to everyone once the car is one the grid. He looks lethargic. But as determined as ever and when he gets up to the grid for the national anthem. He is standing as confidently and boldly as always.
Then they're in the cars and he's ready to go, leading the formation lap and then lining back up into pole position.
The lights are out and he leads. As he seems to lead every race. Whether it be by proper and rule-following methods or by pushing the limits on what the FIA will allows, and often what they will penalise him for.
As she's become quite accustomed to, she finds herself at the barriers await her boyfriend to come running for celebrations of his win.
"Max, you took another win. And you've not been feeling so good for this weekend. How are you feeling now?" Martin asks as he conducts the post-race interviews.
"I'm feeling better. Much better." Max nods then winking at y/n while she smiles at him.
Her get sup on the podium being given his trophy and medal before part-taking in all the champagne spraying, cheering their bottles before getting some pictures and finally getting off the podium.
When she gets to his drivers room finding him changing out of the alcohol soaked layers and quickly showering off the residue from his skin and hair. Then he returns and he looks fairly refreshed though he quickly picks up his medal and moves towards her, gently placing it over her head, around her neck.
"What-"
"You are my champion. You deserve the medal." Max smiles while she gets flustered over his words. "Thank you...for everything, mouse."
"You don't have to thank me."
"I want to. You should always know how much I appreciate you." Max insists then sighing. "Shall we go home?"
"Yes."
"Ok, let's go." Max smiles gently rubbing her cheek, again with those clammy hands. "I love you, mouse."
"I love you too." Y/n whispers with a small smile. "I'm so proud of you doing the race too."
So they leave and Red Bull's photographer posts a picture of "Max and his champion" when spotting them walk through the paddock with y/n wearing the medal while Max looks at her in complete and utter admiration.
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lieutnt · 4 months
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a commission for @chxrrylime
beta/alpha!male reader x omega!john price x omega!simon "ghost" riley summary: price and ghost help you with your first rut after your sudden change from a beta to an alpha. warnings: nsfw, minors dni. omegaverse, brief illness, threesome, knotting, creampies. ko-fi & commissions sorry for the delay on this! had it like 80% written by saturday and then i had a time the next few days. i got carried away with the word count so oops.
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Price was normally resistant to others being assigned to his task force, but when your file found its way on his desk curiosity got the better of him. Not just because you were a Beta, although that did help his willingness to accept you, but because you filled a hole in the team. Your skills and training had rounded out the task force, being a Beta was an added bonus. 
There was still lingering doubt in Price’s mind, but weeks after you had joined and Gaz went into heat you offered to help. You had been the perfect carer - staying with him the entire time and making sure he was fed, hydrated and happy. Afterwards Gaz had privately gushed about you to the rest of the 141, unable to think of a time when his heat had gone so smoothly. You had repeated the process with Soap and Price, both getting to experience your gentle touch first hand, and even Ghost had let you help him.
After months of working with the team Price had begun to notice some changes in your behaviour. You were more on edge when the 141 worked with other soldiers, hesitating to leave them alone if an Alpha was in the room. He picked up on you offering the others food from your own plate if they complained they were still hungry, despite the fact that you’d barely even finished half of yours. You even began developing a stronger scent, something different from when you had first joined.
Worry filled his mind when one day Gaz & Soap had barged into his office, panicking about how they couldn’t wake you. Once Price had joined them in running to your room he was immediately calling for a medic, your body covered in a sheen of sweat, barely responsive to their attempts at rousing you. They each took their turns pacing outside your room once you had been taken to a hospital, the doctor’s unsure what was happening to you. You had stayed like that for days, a fever wracking your body and unconscious as change forced its way through your veins.
Price had been elated when he received the phone call that you were awake, but once the 141 had gathered at the hospital they were ushered into a separate room before they could see you. A doctor was already waiting for them, a look of concern on her face. 
An Alpha. They couldn’t wrap their head around it, you had changed into an Alpha. The doctor had tried to explain how in very rare cases something like this can happen but they were too shocked to absorb anything she was explaining. Soap & Gaz appeared unbothered, more concerned with wanting to see you but one look between Price and Ghost and they knew they were thinking similarly.
Filing into your room they were hit with a wave of pheromones you didn’t know you were releasing, a deep down part of them stirring when your scent immediately turned relaxed at seeing them, Soap and Gaz not hesitating to give you hugs as Ghost lingered on the outside of the group while Price simply placed a hand on your shoulder, “It’s good to see you lad,” he said, attempting to bury the worry threading through his mind.
The doctors advised you be taken back to your home base so that’s what they did, alongside the thought that they’d have to explain certain things to you. You weren’t dumb - you knew how Alphas worked, but knowing and doing were two very different things. You had to rely on someone else telling you when you were stinking up the room with Alpha smell, or when you easily slipped back into your old routine except this time it appeared more like courting than caring, and Price and Ghost, as the most experienced, could see how your new heightened senses were weighing on you, struggling in the presence of four omegas.
Waking up you were confused at your state, your senses acting as if they had a personal vendetta against you, and you were even more confused when Gaz had taken one look at you and escorted you back to your room as if you were a scared animal, telling you to sit while he fetched Price. 15 minutes later Price and Ghost stepped through your door, shutting it behind them as Price sat next to you. “Do you know what’s happening lad?”
You didn’t know, brain struggling to conjure up any ideas without being distracted by the smell of omega. Swallowing heavily, you shook your head, “No sir.”
Ghost spoke up, “Think you’re going into rut.” He remained leaning against the wall, gaze locked on you.
Brows furrowing you used what brain power you had left to think it over. It matched with the experiences you had heard from other Alphas, but- “I don’t have anything prepared,” you mumbled, brain ticking with what would follow the next few days.
Price had a faint smile on his face, hand resting on your shoulder for reassurance. “We know, which is why, if you want, we think it’s our turn to help you.”
The air sharpened with arousal and you heard Ghost’s faint scoff of laughter, “Think he likes that idea, boss.”
Price’s hand slid from your shoulder to around the back of your neck, forcing you to turn your head and face him. “Only if you want,” he reiterated, thumb gently stroking the back of your neck.
Blood was already pooling south, your cock twitching in its confines at the idea of having them both underneath you. You didn’t realise you had been thinking about it for so long until Price briefly tightened his grip, bringing you back to the present. Nodding your head eagerly, your eyes flicked between Price and Ghost, “Please.”
Sinking into Ghost’s hole felt nothing short of heavenly, the warmth of his walls pulsing to ease your way in and steadily melting your brain, your mouth dropping open to release an airy moan once you were buried as deep as you could go. Just enough awareness was flickering behind your eyes to start slow, gently rocking your hips while Ghost adjusted to the stretch of your cock. 
Price was by your side, cautiously watching your movements to make sure you didn’t go too rough before Ghost was ready. As soon as your hips punched forwards unexpectedly Price was slanting his mouth against yours, distracting you from your impatience as Ghost grunted from the force. The smell of not one but two aroused omegas had your alpha preening, deepening the kiss with Price and lowly growling as your hand encased the back of his head to hold him close, only parting when Ghost began to roll his hips back and forth.
Your hands fell to Ghost’s hips, guiding his movements as each of your thrusts grew faster and harder until skin was slapping against skin, vision tunnelling as your pupils dilated, only focused on the omega around your cock and the breed, mate, instinct that was swirling in your mind.
Pushing Ghost down you surged over him, covering his body with yours as your teeth skated across his back, barely resisting the temptation to bite and mark him, to let the world know who he belonged to, whose bed he was warming. Price was by your side again, kissing at your neck and shushing your half-growls, attempting to soothe the possessive claim. His hands ran across your body, one stroking through your hair while the other never stopped moving, letting you know he was there.
Your pace never faltered, even as Ghost began warning you he was close, cock bobbing against his stomach at your thrusts while his moans grew faster and faster until his body seized, muscles trembling as he painted the bed under him with his release. Once out of the floating of his climax Ghost could feel the beginnings of your knot catching on his rim, the bulb steadily growing with each of your frantic thrusts as his knees buckled, sending him flat against the bed as the tension thrumming through your body finally snapped, knot punching its way past his rim and locking you together.
It was like a dam had burst, his insides flooded with your cum as your hips stuttered, a chest rattling growl crawling its way out of your throat. Despite the fact that you couldn’t thrust you instead grinded against Ghost, cock twitching with each pulse of cum that his fluttering walls milked from you. After a lifetime of minutely jerking your hips you finally slumped against Ghost, growls replaced with heavy breaths and a rumbling purr as you rolled to your side, bringing Ghost with you and hugging him to your chest. Burrowing your nose into the back of his neck your alpha was temporarily satiated at your scent mixing with Ghost’s.
Faintly, you heard Price speak up. “You ok Simon?”
Ghost was breathing as heavily as you, voice hoarse and dry, “Mhm, just-” he gasped almost silently as your hips twitched, knot tugging against his rim, “full,” he huffed, bearing his teeth as you began to grow restless.
Price’s attention quickly switched to you, hand wiping the sweat-coated hair off your forehead, “What’s the matter lad?” After attempting and failing to pull out of Ghost your hand hurried downwards, finger prodding at his tightened rim until it could push inside and separate you enough to pull your knot out. As much as you wanted to lean down and tongue your cum back into his hole your brain had other ideas, body surging up to Price and licking into his mouth while you pushed him onto his back, pupils blown wide.
Price watched curiously as you nipped down his throat and chest, “Gotta breed you,” you slurred, eyes half-lidded and cock hard and ready between your legs. He released a steadying breath, hole twitching at your eagerness.
His head rolled back on his shoulders as two of your fingers poked at his entrance, easily sliding in with the preparation you had done earlier and the mixture of his own slick. Before you could get too lost and overstimulate him and yourself Price pulled you back up to his lips with a hand in your hair, ignoring the noise of discontent you made and kissing you again, reaching down to align your tip with his hole. If it was another time and place he would’ve laughed at how easily you crumbled, but as your cock slipped inside him he groaned against your mouth, letting his body rock with your thrusts.
When Price and Ghost first emerged from your room once your rut was over Soap and Gaz tried their best to look unfazed, pointedly ignoring the way they were both stretching out sore muscles. “He ok?” Gaz asked, eyes attempting to search for you and noticing your absence.
Price nodded, “Just showering.”
Always the bolder of the two Soap couldn’t help but question, “How was it?” At Gaz’s pointed look he shrugged, “As if ye weren’t wonderin’.”
Price huffed amusingly, fingers scratching through his sideburns, “Think we’ll have our hands full with him.”
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buckyalpine · 6 months
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A one shot where Bucky doesn’t like the reader and makes her life at the compound a little rough? Like enemies (maybe to lover or friends?) and she is like the sunshine personality 🥺🥺🥺
I live for this shit This type of angst where he's mean and finds her annoying even though she's a sweetheart, ugh, yes. YES.
Bucky groaned, trying to ignore the shooting pain that seared in his abdomen, clutching an old t-shirt to stop the bleeding from the stab wound he'd received during his latest mission.
"You good there, terminator?" Sam cocked an eyebrow watching Bucky unconvincingly nod, grunting a half assed yes before squeezing his eyes shut and flopping back on the seat.
"You're gonna need stiches" Steve snorted, shaking his head at his stubborn friend.
"I'm fine" Bucky gritted out, preferring to bleed out on the jet instead of going to the med bay where he'd be surrounded by doctors and needles and if he was really unlucky, you.
"Seriously? That's the second shirt you've bled through, I don't think the serum's gonna cut it, punk" Steve sighed, knowing how Bucky felt about getting medical care but it wasn't like he had a choice. As soon as the jet landed, Bucky was shoved in the direction of the medical wing, pouting and grumpy as he limped with Steve supporting him. Bucky frowned when Steve pushed him to lay down on the examination table, grumbling and wincing under his breath.
"You stay here. I'm gonna finish writing up our reports, don't go sneaking off" Steve chuckled, giving his friend's shoulder a squeeze before leaving. The soldier stared up at the florescent lights, his eyes anxiously darting about the room, hoping and praying that at the very least he wouldn't have to deal with-
"Good afternoon Bucky!"
For fucks sake.
Bucky groaned at the chirpy voice that piped up from the door, his brows knotted together from frustration.
He hated it. You'd ask about his day as if he wasn't there go get sewn up. You'd talk to him like you'd known him for years, almost oblivious to the fact that he was a former brain washed assassin. Every time he saw you, you were so giggly and pretty and bouncy and cute and happy and it irked his soul because it was to the point it was unnecessary. I mean you were just so kind and sweet to everyone as if everyone deserved such amazingness from such a wonderful person, okay that's enough Bucky.
The world wasn't fucking sunshine and rainbows and he had no idea why you acted like it was.
"Steve said you needed a few stitches so-
"Where's Dr. Cho" Bucky cut you off, hoping anyone else would help him so he could get on with his day, willing to take the needle and thread himself instead of having you do it while talking his ear off.
"Oh, she's with another patient right now but it's fine, I promise I'll get you out of here soon, do you mind if I remove your vest-
"Yeah, I got it" Bucky huffed, wincing to get his gear off but you stopped him, urging him to stay down.
"No, it's okay, I just wanted to make sure you're okay with it, I'll cut it off, don't worry"
Bucky nodded, lying back down while you grabbed a tray with medical supplied, carefully cutting around the blood soaked material and discarding it. You cleaned the area, mumbling apologies incase the alcohol caused any pain, moving on to closing the cut.
"I heard about the mission you all went on. I can't even imagine going through all that, it sounded terrifying. You're very brave Sargent" You smiled, tossing your gloves aside after patching Bucky up. Bucky grunted as he hopped off the table without a word, ready to whack Steve on the head for telling you of all people he needed help.
"If you need anything else, let me know! Just get some rest for a few days, it'll heal soon-
"I know" Bucky walked out of the room without looking back, his shoulders relaxing when he was far away from he med wing. There was truly no reason for him to be this annoyed but he was tired, in pain and he knew for a fact there would be a pile of papers for him to fill out in the conference room.
You didn't take Bucky's grumpy attitude to heart, understanding the stress that came with going on missions, getting injured every time coupled with the fact that he was probably still healing from his own past. You put away the supplies before taking a coffee break, running into a very excited Tony along the way.
"Hey cupcake, just who I was looking for, do you like chocolate or vanilla"
"Tony, I told you, you don't have to-
"That doesn't answer the question. Pick one or the other or both or another flavor, all the flavours, but give me something"
You giggled at the way he looked at you expectantly, sighing seeing as he wouldn't let up until you answered.
"I'm not picky, you know I'd love anything. Get something everyone would like, seriously, I don't even need all this, I'm just the nurse-
"Stop that right now, there's no one else like you" Tony huffed, planting a quick kiss your head before texting his caterers about everything he wanted, ensuring everything was perfect, especially when it came to you.
-
You woke up to the sun streaming through the curtains, stretching before getting out of bed and padding over to the bathroom to go through your morning routine. You had the day off, throwing on your joggers instead of your typical scrubs and making your way down to the kitchen, grabbing ingredients for baking.
You hummed, scooping out spoons of cookie batter, plopping it onto the tray and throwing it into the oven, cleaning up the area in between, waiting for the oven timer to go off. You set the chocolate chip cookies onto a tray, piping the last bit of icing onto the top and sweeping away the smidges of frosting that got onto the counter.
Bucky blinked at the smell of baking, making his way to the kitchen for some water after a run. He groaned, nearly walking right back out when he saw you singing to yourself, arranging cookies in a circle, each one decorated for a different person in the tower.
"Good morning Bucky" You smiled while he mumbled, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, "I-I made made cookies for everyone, did you want one?" You asked hopefully, looking at the little dog tags you'd piped on the cookie you made for him while he shrugged in response.
"Why do you keep trying so hard, do you not have any friends?" Bucky scoffed, ignoring the fresh plate of cookies that sat on the counter, not caring that your face had fallen. He wanted to strike a nerve, feeling a sick satisfaction at the way you silenced yourself, giving him the peace and quiet he wanted.
"S-sorry, I just thought-
"You thought what?" Buck cocked an eyebrow, the tick in his jaw making your stomach churn.
"Nothing, sorry" You mumbled, turning back to continue cleaning while he chugged the rest of the bottle. "I've just leave them here if you want one later on-
"No, I don't want one now and I don't think I'll want one later either" Bucky glared at you, tired of you always trying to do things for others as if anyone asked.
"I-I'm sorry I didn't-" you bit your lip hard to keep from crying, not wanting to annoy Bucky more.
"Why do you always act like everything great? Like we don't come back from almost dying, risking our lives while you go about like the world is perfect"
"I just-I didn't mean-
"You didn't mean what, to be annoying? Did anyone even ask for this?" Bucky nodded to the cookies while you shook your head, feeling ridiculous and embarrassed, not realizing others also probably found you annoying.
"I-it was my birthday, I thought-" you sniffled, choking back a whimper, "I wanted to do something nice - never mind" You bit your lip to keep from breaking down, blinking back tears as you scurried off to your room, without looking back.
The initial satisfaction Bucky was short lived as he stood in the now empty kitchen, tossing the bottle aside. The plate caught his eye once more as he walked by, reluctantly stopping to look at each one, your skilled hands decorating each one with clean details. He instantly spotting the one you made for him which had been dusted with silver just like his tags; he had no idea how you managed to get his name and number piped to precisely.
Not that it mattered.
Bucky continued to make his way to the gym, feeling a little bad that he made you cry but he figured you'd get over soon enough, after all that seemed to be your strong suit, you were always happy and smiling anyway.
-
"You're coming tonight, right?" Steve dropped the weights he was curling while Bucky frowned, unsure of what the captain was referring to.
"Why, what's tonight" Bucky grunted, still in the middle of his set.
"Seriously, Tony told us like a month ago"
"Yeah, fine" Bucky huffed, not really caring what it was about, knowing he'd be dragged to go regardless. He finished the rest of his workout, retreating back to his room to shower. He flopped onto his bed after, grabbing a book from his bedside table seeing as there was still plenty of time till he had to get ready.
The book had been a Christmas present from you and as much as he hated to admit it, it was perfect and one of his favorites. He tried to focus on the words, feeling bad again thinking about how your face had fallen earlier when all you did was offer him a cookie.
Maybe he went a little overboard with his reaction...
Bucky shook the guilt he felt, hoping that you'd be running around somewhere getting ready for whatever tonight was.
-
"Where's y/n" Sam looked around the room seeing everyone else present but you, the night in full swing seeing as Tony had gone all out as usual "I swear she said she'd be here, this is literally her birthday party"
"I didn't see her" Nat frowned, putting down the drink she was sipping on, scanning the room again, "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen her all day"
Bucky felt a deep pang in his chest when he realized the party was for you, his stomach twisting in knots.
"Where's our birthday girl" Steve asked as he joined the others, the guilt making Bucky feel even more sick. He ran a hand over his face while the others continued to wonder where you were. "I hope she isn't working, she deserves a day off, she already worked over time for 3 months straight when we were running back to back missions"
Bucky remembered that.
They'd all been sent out on missions spread across different months and you'd been the one on call to patch them up the entire time. You hadn't complained once even through you were thoroughly sleep deprived. At the time Bucky was annoyed you were in such an upbeat mood when they were all scraping by but you had been struggling yourself.
"I fucked up" Bucky groaned, feeling awful for how he'd treated you in the morning and for how he'd been acting towards you in general.
"Why, what did you do" Steve's face twisted in confusion while Bucky's face reddened in embarrassment. Steve was aware Bucky complained about you but he figured it was because his bestfriend got flustered around the pretty nurse, he'd seen Bucky get tongue tied plenty of times whenever you walked by.
"You were a grumpy asshole to y/n, weren't you" Sam frowned seeing Bucky's guilty face. The soldier didn't say another word, leaving the group to find you instead, debating on getting Steve to clock him in the jaw first. Bucky ran to the elevator, pushing the button to your floor, hoping he'd see you making your way down, only to find the hallway empty. His heart broke hearing the soft sniffles coming from your room, the door closed. He gently knocked on the door, your cries quieting down as if you'd silenced yourself to pretend you were asleep instead of opening the door.
"Y/n?" Bucky called for you only to be met with more silence, "Can-can you please open the door?" His heart started to beat faster when he head your footsteps approaching the door, clicking the lock open; you were still in your joggers from earlier, your face puffy from crying.
All because of him.
"Sorry, I fell asleep" you lied, keeping your face trained on your feet, worried Bucky had come to yell at you about the party Tony had thrown for you, "and I'm sorry about the party, you didn't have to go if you didn't want to, I promise I didn't tell Tony you had to come, I know you don' like me-
"No, no baby no, stop" Bucky hushed you, his heart breaking when your voice cracked, rambling out apologies. His body moved on its own, wrapping his arms around you while you started to cry again, rocking you while holding you to his chest. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you have nothing to apologize for doll, nothing at all"
Bucky held you tightly while your body shook, feeling sick with himself for how he'd been treating you. You'd never been anything short of sweet and he'd made a point of always letting you know he couldn't care less. He lifted you in his arms, walking over to your bed, sitting down with you in his lap, ready to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness.
"I didn't mean to be so annoying" You shrugged, fidgeting with your fingers, the light that always made your eyes twinkle dimmed from Bucky's words.
"Y/n, please, no" Bucky whispered, pleading with you to stop. "Don't doll. It was never ever you, please let me apologize. I've been awful to you, you've done nothing wrong. You've always been an angel, sweets, it's me whose been an annoying asshole. I don't deserve your kindness but that's never stopped you from giving it to me when I least deserved it"
"You deserve kindness Bucky" you gave him a small smile, one that didn't meet your eyes and Bucky felt his eyes sting. Even when he was the one in the wrong, you were still comforting him with your sweetness.
"Y/n, I don't know anyone that deserves the sort of kindness you give. I don't know anyone that would deserve someone as wonderful as you. You're a light for everyone when its dark. I was a fuckin' idiot for everything I've ever said to you. That isn't an excuse for how I've been treating you doll, I know that. It's just- I've been awful to you and you've never done anything wrong. I'm truly sorry sweets"
"Its okay Bucky" You whispered, reaching up to wipe the tear that streaked down his face, your cheeks heating up when you realized you were still in his lap, "S-sorry, I didn't realize-
Bucky shook his head, holding you securely in his lap, not wanting to let you go.
"You have nothing to apologize for, pretty girl" Bucky shrugged, loosening his hold in case you wanted to get off but your doe eyes darted around instead, settling further in his lap. "You really are like sunshine"
"You're very charming, Sargent" you smiled bashfully while Bucky chuckled, his heart beating erratically in his chest when your hands came up to toy with the tags that hung around his neck.
"Would it-would it be if I kissed you?" He whispered shyly, blushing when you nodded, pressing his soft lips to yours. Bucky took his time kissing you, pouring every ounce of his feelings with soft touches, holding onto you like porcelain.
"Everyone's waiting for you sweets" Bucky gave you a gentle squeeze, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes, hoping that you'd still want to go to your own party. "Would you like to go downstairs?"
You slinked off Bucky's lap to get ready, the soldier watching you with heart eyes the entire time you did your hair and makeup. He knew he had a lot to make up for, starting with the fact that he'd never hurt you again. He was still upset with himself for ever hurting you in the first place but he was ready to protect your innocent heart for the rest of his life. His breath hitched in his throat when you finished applying the last of your gloss, blushing when you slipped your hand into his so he could lead you down.
"Theres our cupcake!" Tony grinned when he saw you approaching, the rest of the team cheering making you giggle. Steve smirked seeing Bucky follow closely behind you in protective mode, keeping his hand around your waist. He spent the entire time, doting on you, following you like a lost puppy.
By the end of the night, he had you in his lap again, shamelessly looking at you with heart eyes while the rest of the team watched curiously, his sole focus on you.
"Happy birthday sweet girl" Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek while you nuzzled into him with a shy smile, "My little sunshine"
-
Now imagine Bucky doesn't quickly get over the fact that he was a dick. Sure you forgave him because you're an absolute sweetheart but Bucky can't even deal with the way he'd acted, especially when he had a crush on you the entire time and just refused to acknowledge it, acting like a cunt instead.
He's the most lovestuck boyfriend to ever exist. Your office is always full of fresh flowers. He's a clingy little puppy, outside of the medwing until your done, always finding excuses to sneak in and see you. You had to tell him a papercut wasn't a good enough reason for him to request your services.
Neither was a stubbed toe.
The time he nicked himself while shaving was the worst because he was pouty until you kissed him better.
He slips his dog tags around you, his possessive/jealous side occasionally sneaking out.
He doesn't even hide the fact that he's a simp for you, knowing he's the luckiest person on the planet to get the sweetest person in the world. He shows your off like no tomorrow, proud of the angel he gets to call his.
He absolutely loved his sunshine.
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entitled-fangirl · 3 months
Text
Two idiots in love.
Joel Miller x anemic!reader
Summary: Ellie notices the two lovebirds, and decides to ask Joel about it after the reader falls asleep.
Words: 1,584
Warnings: talk of death, anemia, mutual pining, cursing, Ellie being a shithead as always...
Author's note: The way I write about this man all day long but none of the fics go together 😦
Part 2!!!
Masterlist
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Joel decided to set up camp for the night, only outside of Boston by 10 miles.
Tess had just died, and things were still tender between Joel, Y/N, and Ellie.
Tess was Y/N’s older sister, and she looked up to her more than anyone.
And so did Joel.
Tess was their rock. Their steady hand in hard times. And she was gone.
But at least Joel and Y/N had each other.
They had been in an awkward “Are they? Aren’t they?” Situation for the past two years. 
They liked each other, that much was clear by the stolen glances and small smiles they gave one another. But they hesitated. 
They didn’t want to invest too much in each other just to watch the other die in front of them.
So, they remained friends.
Friends that like each other a lot.
And Ellie noticed it too.
She saw the way the two “friends” would share food. His hand was always placed on her waist or shoulder. Her eyes always flickered to him in a situation. 
She knew they loved each other.
Y/N sat her pack down, her body sore. She sat down, leaning back against the trunk of a tree.
Joel immediately took notice of her exhausted behavior, “Hey.”
She looked up, her voice soft, “…what?”
He kneels down next to her, “…you alright? Not… hurt or nothing?”
She pulls up her sleeve, revealing a nasty bruised where an infected had grabbed her.
He immediately pulled her arm in front of him, studying it.
“I’m fine…really. Just a bruise….”
His thumb grazes over her forearm lightly, his mind wandering a million miles an hour.
But that mind stilled when she spoke again, “…you alright, Joel?”
He nods, “Yeah. Fine.”
She takes that as an answer, studying the frown lines in his face with a smile of her own. She couldn’t help but like the older man. How kind he was to her. The caring touch he always gave her. She always felt her heart jump when he’d give her a soft look after practically murdering someone in front of her. In a way, it was… sweet.
Ellie had a shit eating grin on her face, watching the exchange with a careful eye.
If Joel noticed, he didn’t care enough to comment, his worry focused on the woman in front of him. “You take your meds?”
She sighed, her shoulders falling slightly, “…no.”
His eyes hardened, “Take them.”
A small smile came to her lips, “…Joel…”
“I fucking mean it. Take them. Now.”
Her smile fell, realizing how serious he had become. Her eyes watched the micro-expressions in his face change too.
She pushed herself up slightly with a huff. She pulled her pack to her, flipping the top up with a bit of an attitude. She dug around for a while. Finally, she found them, pulling out the orange pill bottle with a content sigh. 
Joel reached back, pulling out his canteen, handing it to her. “Go on…”
She took the pills, taking a drink from his canteen and handing it back to him. 
He smiled, “Good girl.”
And with that, he stood, going to check the perimeter.
Ellie watched him walk away, her eyebrows furrowing. She stood up, walking closer to Y/N. She then kneeled down, not much differently than Joel had. “What, uh… what was that?”
The woman scoffed softly, “…you’ve never heard of medication before?”
Ellie rolled her eyes, “No. I know what that is. I meant… you two. Like… what… I don’t know… what are you two?”
The woman looked up at the sunset. Or, at least, what she could see over the trees. She sighed, “I don’t know, El. Don’t ask things that there’s no answer to.”
Ellie huffed, moving back to her previous spot.
A few hours later, when the sun was long gone, the three of them sat around a small fire. Ellie sat across from Joel and Y/N, occasionally looking over at them.
Y/N’s eyelids were slightly drooping. They had been like that since they stopped for the day. It seemed that she couldn’t keep herself awake. 
And Joel noticed. Of course, he did. 
So, he let her lean against him, her head resting on his shoulder. 
He leaned his head down, his mouth in her hair, “Wanna sleep, sweetheart?”
Her grip tightened on his arm just slightly, “no… I… I’m fine… I’m awake…”
Joel chuckled. “Nah, honey. Go to sleep. Ellie and I will watch, right?”
Ellie’s head perked up and she nodded quickly. 
Y/N seemed to take that for an answer, slowly beginning to move to set up her sleeping bag. 
Joel grabbed her wrist, “Hey. Just… stay here, yeah?”
She turned to look at him, her eyebrows coming together in confusion. But the confusion didn’t outweigh the exhaustion, because she quickly nodded and moved back.
She leaned against his shoulder once again, feeling his arm snake around her waist to hold her against him. 
“Just sleep. I gotcha, darlin’.” 
She let her eyes close, the sleep calling to her.
A silence resounded through the forest, only the cricket’s chirping being heard.
Joel held her close, relishing in the feeling it gave him to know she was there. Safe in his arms. He could see her resting next to him, her chest moving up and down with each breath.
He lightly kissed the top of her head.
It seemed only then he remembered Ellie’s presence, because his gaze shifted her her. 
She had a large smirk on her face, her eyebrows raised.
Joel scoffed, “Oh, shut up.”
“I didn’t say nothing.”
“You said enough.”
She laughs to herself, going back to staring at the fire. 
Y/N shivered lightly, her body temperature dropping. 
Joel immediately shrugged off his jacket, moving her in his arms to wrap it around her. 
It woke her up, just barely, as she began to mumble. “No… don’t… I… I’m not cold...”
He wrapped her in it, pulling her further into his arms, trying to transfer some of his heat to her. 
“…Joel…”
He leaned his head down, “It’s alright… I wanted to… Let me look after you. Please, sweetheart.”
A soft breath left her lungs as she relaxed again, presumably falling back asleep.
Ellie studied the transaction, curious about something. 
Joel rolled his eyes, “What now?”
Ellie continued to stare at the woman, “What’s wrong with her?”
Joel’s jaw clenched. “There’s nothing wrong with her. She just… has a harder time than most.”
“...Well, that was vague as fuck.”
“Ellie… Goddammit. Just… ugh.”
“...Well…?”
Joel sighed, “…it’s anemia. She’s anemic.”
Ellie stared at the fire, thinking, “I don’t…”
“It’s a blood disease.”
Her mouth formed a small ‘o,’ her eyes moving back to him. He took this as a sign to continue. 
“The body needs oxygen. And a lot of it. There are these… carriers, I guess you could say, and they carry the oxygen through the bloodstream to different organs. They’re called blood cells.”
Ellie nodded, trying to follow along.
“Well, she doesn’t make enough of them. Her body doesn’t get enough oxygen. Makes her tired… and… whatnot…”
“So, that’s what her medicine is for?”
Joel nodded. “Hard to come by but… better than nothing.”
Ellie gulped. “And… when she doesn’t have any more?”
Joel's gaze hardened. “She has enough for the trip, alright. This is the most strenuous thing I’ll ever make her do,” his hand rubs across his face, “…fuck..” He sighed under his breath.
“So… it makes her tired and…what?”
Joel looks back up at her, “…dizzy, nauseous… she passes out sometimes, but… it’s rare. Out of breath… she’s having a harder time right now because… well.. you know…”
Ellie’s stare was blank, “…how the fuck do I know?”
Joel sighed again, his voice slightly raised, “Goddammit. Her… time of the month…”
“Oh. She’s on her period?” Ellie said with a smirk.
“Yeah. Yeah. So… even more less blood to go around… so… we’ll take it easy the next few days… give her a break.”
Ellie nods. Silence sets in before...
“You love her, don’t you?”
Joel’s head perks up, a surprised look on his face. “…What? No, I don’t…”
“Yeah you do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Look at yourself, Joel.”
Joel looked down. His arm was wrapped around her waist, the other arm rubbing up and down her leg to create heat. He let out a grunt, “This is why I don’t fucking tell you things.”
Ellie scoffed, “You didn’t fucking say it. I’m looking at it, idiot.”
“Go the fuck to bed.”
“Wow. Just... wow. Way to be an adult, Joel. Real mature.”
“Goodnight.”
Y/N woke up a little while later to Joel moving her in his arms. She shifted, her eyes starting to open.
“Shh…. Go back to bed, baby," Joel whispered in her ear, "Just… go back to sleep for me.”
She was laying in Joel’s sleeping bag with him, his arms wrapped around her tightly, her head resting on his chest.
She hummed, “mmm… but…”
She could feel his smile, “None of that. Sleep, sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake up. I always am.”
Surprisingly, Ellie was the first one to wake up that morning. She sat up, craning her neck to check for her companions.
And God, she wished she had a camera.
The two were wrapped in each other’s embrace, Joel’s soft snores echoing.
They were just two fucking idiots in love.
And Ellie made it her mission to get them together by the end of the trip.
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Author's note: I made a part 2!!!
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demonic0angel · 8 months
Text
Hotel AU
Jason groaned, holding a military grade field dressing to his wound as he tried his best to walk faster. Gunshots rang behind him and instinct allowed him to dodge, but one bullet still managed to graze him by the shoulder. It only made pain flare up worse, but Jason just sucked in a breath through his teeth and toiled onward to get to safety.
His comms buzzed in his ear, but no one was available at the moment. Jason still muttered a soft, "Requiring backup."
No one answered.
Jason, for an existential crisis-having moment, wondered if he was gonna die again.
Just as he thought this, a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into another building.
Jason cursed and pulled out his gun with his unfortunately injured hand and pointed it towards his assailant, but then paused.
He had been pulled into a beautiful, first class looking hotel area.
"What the..." he started, before he turned.
An enormously tall woman smiled down at him. She was outrageously beautiful, with long red hair tied into a ponytail and a neat uniform covered by an apron. "Welcome, sir, to the Phantom Hotel! You seem to be in need of some assistance, would you like some help?"
Jason felt eerily calm and level headed, even as he bled all over the floors. "... that'd be nice." He said gruffly.
"Right away, sir." She said with a smile. She waved to someone over to his side and continued to speak. "I'm the co-owner of this hotel, you may call me Jazz. May I get your name for registration?"
Jason still didn't freak out yet. "Registration?" He echoed, as he took in his surroundings.
The hotel was beautiful, with tall ceilings, marble floors, white walls and candle chandeliers that glowed with dim lighting. People that didn't look like Gothamites milled around the lobby and sitting area, all relaxed and chatting amicably. There were a few that were dancing to club music. There was a noticeable bar in the corner of the room that looked unstaffed but was conspicuous in its size and black coloring.
"Yes, sir." Jazz said. "I assume that you're staying the night? We offer breakfast in the morning, and drinks are free all night!"
Jason was silent for a moment. A person wearing a similar uniform to Jazz, with a dark green vest and dark colored apron, approached them and immediately got to bandaging Jason's wounds.
Once again, Jason did not freak. He felt oddly calm, and in the back of his head, he knew that he was safe here. His gut instinct was to collapse on top of Jazz and take a nap, strangely comforted by her presence.
"... why am I so calm?"
Fuck it. He decided to just voice his question.
Jazz giggled. It was a cute noise. "Why wouldn’t you be? There’s nothing to worry about. We're the same, after all!"
Jason blinked. Then he turned to her as the attendant stepped away with the medical box, Jason feeling all healed up, and he said, "Is a night here free?"
"For you? Yep! Everything is free here."
Jason gave a nod. "Then I'll take a room with a single bed, please. Breakfast is free?"
"Yes, sir."
"Great. The name's Jason Todd."
Jazz smiled, a sparkle in her eyes that made Jason feel all fuzzy with warmth. "Very good, sir. Your room number is 312, on the third floor. Here's your room card." She handed over a plastic card that was procured out of thin air but Jason didn't think about it.
He was mentally exhausted and being in her presence made him feel like he was going to drop and fall asleep on the floor and still wake up refreshed. It was so disconcerting that it was almost not disconcerting.
Jason eventually found the elevator, though not without lingering a little around the area. The vigilante in him was telling him to be careful, even though everything else inside of him couldn't give less of a damn and was telling him to kick back and relax. Jazz, after registering him, had gone to the bar to prepare drinks.
She mixed together alcoholic concoctions amidst a small crowd and the more Jason stared, the more it seemed like the dim light was hiding something. People looked like they were wearing ragged clothes and a lot of them had dark stains. There were quite a large amount of old people as well, along with people with seemingly missing appendages.
The last two details wasn't a bad thing, but the amount of them seemed like a hint to something bigger.
When Jazz made eye contact with Jason, she gave a sweet smile and a little wave, and that was Jason's signal to leave.
He got into an elevator, went to his room, and practically sank into the cloud-like bed before he basically knocked himself out. That night, he had never slept so well.
When he woke up, his body felt rejuvenated and he almost felt peppy. It was as if his previous irritations were only bad days and he had finally struck on a good day for once.
He washed up, miraculously found his wounds all healed up, and when he went to take a shower, his clothes were found on the sink, all washed and patched up. Even his helmet had been cleaned and fixed, pristine like the day he had first gotten it.
Jason could've been more suspicious.
But to reiterate, he couldn't.
Everything about this place was like a mother's hug. It was comforting. It made him feel safe. He felt like there was nothing to worry about and although a small part of him found this alarming, he really couldn't explain why he decided to trust it.
When he came down the elevator for breakfast, he was astonished.
Last night, the hotel had looked elegant and high class. Now, in the morning, everything looked warm and homey.
The various large rectangle tables had turned into small round tables that were densely packed together. The floor was a cool blue carpet and the walls had turned a shade of cream. The ceiling had shrank, but now flowers and vines grew from it, dropping from the ceiling with bright blossoms. The bar had been replaced with a little coffee area, with a young man behind the counter, currently taking orders.
The people sitting around and eating their breakfasts looked different in morning light. They glowed with faint shades of blue and green.
Jason paused to take in the sight, considering this information before he shook it off and approached the counter.
The man, after noticing him, immediately went to the cash register with a large smile on his face. "Hello!" He said cheerfully.
Jason immediately noted the similarities between him and Jazz. They had the same heart shaped face, the same ethereal beauty to them, the same nose and smile. This man, however, had bright blue eyes and dark black hair that swept over his eyes.
"What are you drugging me with? I'm way too comfortable here." Jason blurted out.
The man paused. And then he burst out laughing. Jason couldn't help the few snickers that fell out of his throat too, but they both quickly calmed down and the man explained softly, "We're not drugging you. You're just comfortable here because it's where you belong. Don't stress too much."
He continued to smile reassuringly. "Call me Danny. I'm the owner. What would you like to order?"
Jason's eyes flicked to the menu and then he said, "A California club croissant and a caramel latte, please."
"Coming right up, big guy!"
Jason moved a little bit away to the side so that other people could order.
He couldn't help but contemplate what was going on, but it was a little hard to think being this close to Danny's presence. The urge to fight against his soothed mind and the urge to just relax were warring, but unfortunately, his latter side was winning.
If Jazz had seemed comforting and like a hug, then Danny was the blanket, fireplace, hot chocolate cup and book on a cool rainy evening. It was like Danny was his missing piece that just sucked out all of the fear, misery, and rage inside of him.
It was almost crazy how Jason didn't want to retaliate against them at all.
"Here you go, Jason." A voice interrupted him and Jason looked up into crystalline eyes before something was pushed into his hands.
Jason looked down at his order and then up again. "Thanks."
Danny smiled. "No problem! You're pretty freaked out, huh?"
Jason shrugged. Then he thought about it and he asked, "Can I leave?"
"Of course you can." Danny said. "Come back anytime. For someone like you, you have the opportunity to come by anytime you want."
Jason nodded wordlessly and then, with his order in hand, he started walking to the door.
For one last time, he turned and met Danny's eyes. Danny smiled cheerfully, his eyes squinted in happiness. He gave a big wave and Jason returned it before he put on his helmet and pushed past the doors into the open air of Gotham's polluted and smoky world.
The rose glasses fell off and the pink sparkles faded away with each blink.
Jason stared dumbfounded at his own state of body and mind, as his siblings and family all screamed into his ear frantically, begging to know where he went and how he was.
Jason could only stare at the gray, listless world around him and wonder if he had imagined everything.
"What the fuck?"
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julieloves074 · 9 months
Text
Everything (Conrad Fisher x Y/n)
Summary: Y/n had won the battle against cancer at the age of ten but no one expected it to come back. When the truth comes to light the perfect summer crashes down around them. Especially for Conrad, Y/n is his love, his life, his everything
Warnings: Cancer, sadness, swearing, angst 
Words: 7.4K
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(Not my GIF :))
Summer in Cousins was the one time of year I felt truly free, nothing really mattered there. Then again, everything mattered there. Belly liked to say nothing existed outside of summer, all the other seasons were just a pass by for it, and I couldn’t argue with her.
This was exactly why I wanted one last perfect summer. Mom told me that I wasn’t being fair, that this was going to be worse for everyone but wasn’t I allowed to be selfish? For once? I knew she couldn’t see it the way I did. I wanted Belly to have her first summer of real fun without having to worry about me. I wanted to see Jeremiah and Steven act stupid all summer without feeling like they needed to slow down for me. I wanted to see Conrad to be happy for one more summer, with me.
And everything was going so well, for the most part. Just like any other summer there was drama: Belly with her new friend Cam Cameron and Jeremiah, Steven with Taylor and Shaila but it was our kid problems, nothing more than that until tonight.
“Y/n you are not allowed to go!” My mother shouted as I made my way downstairs at eight o’clock.
“Stop babying me for God’s sake! I’m telling you I feel fine, I’ll be back in a couple of hours!” I screamed back, I just wanted to go to a party with my friends, I knew I had limits now and that I had to be careful. Still, I couldn’t stay locked in forever.
“Y/n you are getting weaker, are you trying to give your father and I a heart attack?” she asked, her voice still raised but there was a falter, it made me turn right around on my heel. There she was, standing on the top step with tears in her eyes. I could feel my own gloss over. I took a deep breath and looked up in an attempt to stop any tears falling, I was only wearing waterproof mascara but still-
“You’re our little girl and we just want to protect you,” Mom said, face flooded now, lowering to sit on the top stair, she was getting more tired now too.
“Mom I’m eighteen, I don’t know if I will make it through chemo this time and I can’t let it make me live in fear. I won’t let it make me hide around my room if this is my last summer,” I said with urgency and plea.
“It’s going to be a long program Y/n, and it’s going to take lots of strength, both physical and emotional but don’t you dare say you are not going to make it. You will beat it. We just don’t want you to get overwhelmed,” Dad’s voice echoed gently as he came out of our kitchen and pulled me into a hug.
“I know-” I paused looking between both of them, my cardigan in one hand and phone in my other, “I’ve signed up for the program and I will fight this cancer again but there’s nothing I can do now but wait around until the first round of chemo begins again, and who knows what I’ll be able to do after it?” I asked, I didn’t know whether I would live, and if I did how long I’d be weak, I didn’t want to miss out on these teenage years.
I felt dad brush his hand down my arm with a sigh, he looked up to mom who shook her head and couldn’t lift her gaze.
“I know, I’m sorry honey, but you know that if anything happens you call us right away, no matt-“ she began, standing up, but I cut her off.
“No matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing and there will be no questions asked,” I finished off for her, she smiled weakly and started making her way down to dad and I.
“Or you call for medical help first depending on what’s happening,” she informed me, at this point she’s said this to me so many times that I have the words tattooed inside my brain.
“I love you guys,” I said as they both squeeze me tightly just before a car horn sounds outside.
“Tell Connie we said hi and ask him to tell his mom we’ll bring that extra table for the barbeque party tomorrow when we come over for dinner,” Mom relayed to me as I slipped on my shoes.
“I will do,” I said quickly opening the door to slide out. I saw him first, Conrad Fisher, sat behind the wheel, his contagious smile and beautifully messy hair. Then I saw them, Belly, Jeremiah and Steven sat in the back all looking at Belly’s phone who sat in the middle, they were all laughing. I couldn’t believe the summer was nearly at it’s end and I got to spend it these wonderful, and slightly annoying, people.
“Omg Y/n you have to see this video Tylor filmed! This girl just found out her boyfriend was cheating on her with her best friend so both she and the best friend chucked milkshakes at him! I’m so glad Taylor filmed this!” Belly exclaimed the second I opened the car door, pushing from up from her seat and shoving the phone in my face, I didn’t even get time to look before she leaned back and sat down muttering “Damn, Harry is not gonna have fun at school this year,”.
We all broke into a laughter, I turned to Connie who had his eyes on me since the moment I got in the car, I started relaying my parent’s message about the chairs and he leant over to kiss me.
“Okay we get it, you guys are in love but we have a party to get to!” Jeremiah exclaimed grabbing on my headrest to lean his body forwards into our space. I let out a laugh pulling away from Conrad.
“I love you,” he mouthed to me, I did the same back before he turned to his focus to the car and reversing in my driveway. The journey to the house party, I didn’t even know who was hosting this one, was filled with laughter and teasing to the point that Belly had actual tears running down her face.
“I am so glad you made me invest into waterproof mascara Y/n!” Belly said running her fingers under her eyes wiping away the tears. I loved having Belly around, another girl was great to have around, her being like a little sister to me. Even though it came with both its ups and downs of siblings like all the clothes she would ‘borrow’ and never give back, but she’s a good kid.
The party is looking well underway when we arrive, there’s flashing, changing lights to be seen through the windows and the music is echoing down the street. Some new trending song is blasting as we walk through the door. Belly quickly runs off to meet some friends she made at the country club, Jere was dragged away by some good looking guy whom he looked more than friendly with leaving me, Connie and Steven to head to the drinks table.
“Are you actually gonna drink with us tonight Y/n/n?” Steven asked leaning a cup in my direction. I really wanted to, I couldn’t express to anyone how much I wanted to fully let loose, drink away my worries for the night. But I couldn’t.
“Nah I’m good,” I tried to play it off cool, but he started play arguing with me.
“Alright let it go Steven,” Con said after a minutes, I lay my hand on his arm in a silent thanks.
“Okay well I’ll leave you loser to it I’ve just spotted Shayla coming in,” he announced already walking backwards to the beautiful girl.
“Are you alright?” Con’s voice pulled me away from the vision of Steven wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he had whispered something in her ear which made her erupt into this blooming, true laugh, they made each other so happy.
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” I said, pulling on a big smile, it wasn’t exactly a lie. I felt fine, more than fine standing here with him right next to me.
“It’s just you’ve not been wanting to drink, and not to pin you as an alcoholic or anything,” he defends quickly, “But you’re usually first to call shots,” he laughs pulling me closer as some guys come to the drinks table, it still swells my heart, his little tics of jealously and protection.
“I told you, it’s been really bad for my skin recently and I am not sacrificing this,” I reassured pointing to my face, “Plus it’s kind of funny being sober and watching everyone else make fools of themselves,”
“Can’t argue that,” he says, we settle into a comfortable silence, Con wasn’t drinking tonight he was nominated DD, so the two of us had to entertain ourselves sober. We weren’t standing around for too long when Getaway Car by Taylor Swift came on and I dragged him to the little makeshift dance floor in the living room.
We sang to each other as he led our little dance twirling me around every once in a while. Loads of the girls including Belly joined us screaming along to the bridge.
“God you’re perfect you know that? I think I’ll be crazy about you forever,” Con half shouted over the last chorus and I just shook him off with a gentle shove
“I love you,” I said pulling him into a massive hug. The second the song ended we noticed Jere and Steven stood in the doorway calling Con over, some kid was doing flip tricks on the trampoline and in their words ‘It was so sick! He’ll probably actually be sick if he doesn’t take a break!’
Connie was hesitant to leave me for a second, but I pushed him to the boys, they deserved his time as much as I did. I turned to the girls, and we danced to whatever song came on next, and the next and the next. By the fourth or fifth song I started to feel lightheaded.
“I’m just gonna find a bathroom real quick,” I shouted over to Belly tapping her shoulder, someone had turned the music up. She nodded and gave me a thumbs up before tipping the rest of her vodka lemonade in her mouth.
The bathroom downstairs had too long of a cue so I headed for the stairs in the entryway. Was someone turning up the music again or was it just the sound echoing in my head? I held onto the railing, but my legs were starting to feel heavier with each step. I had just managed to reach the landing, I wasn’t sure which door led to the bathroom, so I ambled to the closest door, it was a bedroom. A double bed in the center surrounded by deep blue wallpaper. It felt as though I was in the ocean somewhere, drifting away.
The bed frame was not giving me much support, I lowered myself to the ground, there was a small thud as I hid the wooden panels. I don’t think I let out a sound but before I knew it someone was rushing into the room.
“Y/n what’s going on?” the voice asked, I looked up but my sight was hazy, “Y/n?” the voice repeated, it was Steven taking a few careful steps towards me.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine just a little tired, I think I overheated a little downstairs I should have been drinking more water,” I said attempting to shoo him away with my hands, but in reality, I didn’t want him to leave, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get up without him.
“Y/n you’ve been off all summer so cut the bullshit, since when do we lie to each other?” he asked coming closer, his honestly sounded sober.
“My,” I start and feel something bubbling within me, I cried for an hour when I was diagnosed again, then I told myself I wasn’t allowed to again until after summer, I was allowed to be happy and excited for the summer without thinking about- “My cancers back Steven, and I-”
“I’m sorry you what?” Steven asked cutting me off, as if an animated character his jaw actually dropped, he was kneeling next to me in seconds, pulling me into a hug. I shut my eyes wishing that I had left earlier or taken a night off and rested like mom had suggested, “Conrad! Get in here,” Steven shouted repeatedly brushing a hand through my hair.
“What? Y/n? What happened? Steven what happened?” Conrad asked manically flinging himself to meet his body to mine, “Are you okay?” He asked again as he got no answer to his first lot of questions. He brushed his hand down my arm.
“I’m so sorry,” I let out with a sob, shaking my head from side to side, I saw Belly run in confused with Jeremiah behind her. Others seemed to be crowding at the door but Jere quickly shut it firmly, announcing “Nothing to see here! Go grab some alcohol and make out or whatever,” before turning his attention back to me.
Now this was truly my worst nightmare, they were all looking at me, apart from Steven who had curled up and looked at the floor next to me.
“I’m sorry that I ruined our last summer together,” I said
“Y/n what are you talking about, what happened?” Belly asked brushing some hair out of my face.
“It’s back and I- I don’t think it’ll go away this time,” I whisper as if saying it out loud would mean that it was true, that I was hurting everyone around me once again.
“What’s back?” Jere asks nonchalantly at first before a realization hits him “You don’t mean-” at this Belly burst into a wail.
I looked up at Conrad, he was just staring at me, I couldn’t read his reaction at all. I brushed my hands up and down his arms, it was as if he was frozen it time. I needed him to say something, just that action was wearing me out.
“Come on let’s get you home,” Jere said, his eyes red, he was trying to be a voice of reason, be the one who doesn’t break down so he can support the rest of us. When had he become this grown up? “This isn’t a place for a conversation like this,”.
I can’t quite place what emotion was flowing through me as I was basically carried out of the house with one arm around Con the other around Steven. The whole thing seemed in slow motion to me, all the faces in the crowd of my friends and drunk strangers. How many of them realize what’s actually happening and how many of them simply thought I’d gotten hysterically drunk?
The ride back to my house was quiet other than Belly’s phone call to my mom and then Susannah and Laurel letting them know where they were all going. I was ushered into bed by mom and listened to the heartbroken whispers downstairs in the living room under my bedroom.
Mom and Belly were crying, and dad was trying to calm them down. Conrad was adamant to stay with me whilst dad offered to drive everyone else home as they’d all been drinking. When the front door shut, I heard the footsteps that shuffled upstairs.
“Connie,” I said as he walked into my room, his expression filled with sorrow and with the limited lighting of my bedside lamp I could swear he too had tears rolling from his eyes and down his beautiful face.
“You’re okay, you’re going to get better,” he said repeating in quiet whispers, whether he was trying to convince me or himself I was not sure but I let him. I pulled up my duvet and moved slightly to give him space.
He touched my hair, my face, my arms gliding his fingers as if I was made of porcelain. The first time I was diagnosed and fighting cancer I was 10 and whilst everyone was gentle with me then now it felt like a different kind of touch. A mixture of so much love and pain that I would do- give anything to make him better.
“I love you, so so much,” I whispered, pulling one of his arms around me, I wanted to feel him, all of him here in this house, our summer place. I was surprised he hadn’t run, when Con got overwhelmed he always ran, hiding was his protection. If I did anything in my life, helping Connie learn a better way to cope, or to start to was the best thing that I did.
“Don’t say it like that,” he whispered back, his eyes were closed tight shut.
“Like what?” I asked cautiously, somehow, I knew what he was going to say, I brushed my fingers through his soft hair, his pre-summer haircut was always my favorite. It wasn’t too long, not too short, just enough to outline his face and perfectly highlight his eyes.
“Like it’s one of the last times you’ll ever say it,” his voice cracked and I kept running my fingers through his locks, soothing him. It’s funny how I’m the one who this has happened to yet I’m the one who’s been reassuring everyone that everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was because I’d lived enough to know what the purest of happiness was and that I’d experienced honest love even though some never do.
“I love you. I love you. I love you,” I kept repeating as if I was counting stars up in the sky or the little sheep jumping over the fence in hopes of falling asleep. I’d said it so much my mouth had started running dry but if that was the price for having this boy, this kind, loving boy in my arms until my end I’d pay it over and over and more.
Unfortunately, the underlying sour mood was carried into the next morning, when I woke up to the glimpse of summer that danced in through the half open curtain Conrad was still asleep. He usually looked peaceful when he slept but this morning even in his most fragile states his brows were creased and his breathing was heavy and uneven. I watched him, when we get back to Boston nothing will ever be the same, and we only have a week left here in Cousins.
I untangled from his arms. I tended to have more strength in the morning but today I gripped onto the white wooden rail as I ambled downstairs and into the kitchen. Walking past the living room I noticed figures asleep on the couch. I smiled to myself when I saw Jeremiah and the Conklin siblings, they never left last night.
The clock hit seven when I walked into the kitchen, mom sat there with her kindle in hand, cup of coffee in front of her, but she stared unfocused at the device The lines under her eyes were darker than last night, she looked exhausted. Dad was at the kitchen counter prepping some eggs, bacon and sausages, the good old English Breakfast. He too looked as though he hadn’t slept.
“Morning sweetheart,” mom said looking up, her whole expression changed from worry to love, and though she tried to hide it the worry was still there, rooted deeply in her skin. I took a step towards her and she rushed out of her chair to grab me into a tight embrace.
A thousand things I wanted to say sat there pooling in my head because I simply couldn’t get them out.
“Your dad went out last night to get some more breakfast supplies, we’re feeding some unexpected- but most welcome mouths this morning,” she conveyed and I just nodded, my head resting in her neck, “I’ve called Princeton this morning and explained the situation, they said depending on how long the treatment is going to take they may move your enrollment to next year just so you don’t fall too far behind,” mom explained and I watched my dad’s feet shuffle towards us. College was the last thing on my mind, everyone here was.
“We also called the hospital and they’ve decided to start your sessions earlier,” dad said, this forced me to pull back.
“What do you mean?” I asked frantically, “We’ve had the date set for the day after we get back! How can I start my treatment earlier if we’ll still be here?” I questioned.
“We’ll be heading back to Boston tomorrow Y/n” mom conveyed, I took another step back. No! I needed this last week here with these people.
“But we agreed-” I tried to reason, to argue.
“I know sweetheart, but your health is more important to us, the doctors were already weary of letting you have the whole summer here anyway,” dad leaned against the kitchen counter with one hand and the other travelled to his forehead, an attempt to brush the physical signs of fear and worry away.
“We’re your parents Y/n, we just want what’s best,” mom reassured, and I knew they were right, they usually tended to be but that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it.
“The moms have organized a day full of fun and the celebratory barbeque dinner tonight,” Belly, who was now leaning against the doorframe between the living room and the kitchen, said.
“We’re all leaving tomorrow Y/n, we’re going to be there with you every step of the way,” Jeremiah said, his stunning ocean eyes expressing the purest admiration, his one hand was around Belly’s waist. A side of my mouth twisted up in a sly smile. I had predicted this years ago, Con owed me fifty bucks now.  
“Oh my- come here the both of you right now,” I demanded, I took a few steps towards them but they did most of the work.
“I want in too!” Steven, voice all groggy and half asleep, demanded as he jogged towards us. We stood there hugging for longer than we ever have, it was nice and warm.
We all sat around the table playing a round of uno as dad started to make breakfast, mom offered to help to give us the space, she knew we got far too competitive when it came to this game.
I had two cards left, the least out of all when Jeremiah spoke up from next to me, “Connie isn’t taking it well, he went outside at around three in the morning and he just sobbed, I thought you needed to know” his eyes with sympathetic and glossed over.
“I just don’t want him to shut everyone out now,” I said knowing that the boy had a thing for bottling up his emotions until they finally explode. He stayed last night but who knew which was his mood would sway today.
“He’s going to be around, he’ll be here for you, we all will,” Jeremiah reassured.
The day went by faster than anyone wanted, Conrad came down perfectly in time for breakfast, he pulled a chair to sit next to me. Just like his usual self he wanted to be near me, touching me at all times, whether it was his shoulder brushing mine, a hand on thigh or his head on my shoulder. After breakfast we when back to Susannah’s house and sat on their private stretch of beach. Then we competed in a murder mystery game that us kids created when we were twelve. It was actually pretty intriguing even for the moms and dad.
“I can’t believe you kept stored away for six years mom,” Jere said to which Susannah replied with a knowing motherly smile and pulled another clue card.
Then we went to the pier, had ice cream and I absolutely crushed everyone at the arcade games winning most of the challenges, the great showdown occurred yet again even though Laurel banned it all those years ago. Then we headed back for dinner at the beach house, Jere and Steven operated the grill, we all sat around talking and I managed enough energy to play a quick round of water polo in the newly upgraded heated pool.
Through the whole day Conrad was never more than a few feet away from me. He managed to upkeep a smile most of the time, but when he thought I couldn’t see it faltered. I always knew he was a good one.
At around eleven mom and dad headed back home whilst the rest of us cuddled up on the couches to watch some romcom on Netflix. About halfway through Belly decided she wanted popcorn, so we took a pause and Susannah said she wanted to brush my hair. She loved doing both mine and Belly’s hair, we were her honorary daughters so of course I let her. One of the many things I love about her is that no matter the weather, or what was going on she was a ray of sunshine. I don’t mean that she was always happy, but she always held out hope and guided everyone to the other side of any storm cloud.
After the movie had finished and we got a good hour into the titanic most of us were dozing off, Susannah started shooing everyone off to bed. She too went upstairs leaving Conrad and I sat on the sofa. I looked at him as soon as the whole floor was clear. My eyes asked the quiet question, begged the questions.
“Are you sure? Do you feel like you have enough strength?” he asked, and I smiled, my brain scanned through images of this boy as we grew up, side by side and through all of it he stayed true just like his mom.
“What have we been doing for the past four hours if not sitting and laying around?” I asked lifting my brows in a giggle.
He shook his head slightly and half a smirk managed to make it onto his face, “It’s been a long busy day, that’s all I’m saying,” he defended himself.
“I know, but I’m fine I promise, let’s go!” I encouraged lifting from the couch and pulling him up by his arm. It didn’t take much convincing, when he stood, he gave me a long, slow kiss before resting his arm around my shoulder. We fit together perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle finally put together.
We walked down the sandy path towards their private part of the beach, nudging each other and giggling just like the night Conrad first kissed me, just like the night he had asked me to be his girlfriend. Most, if not all our important milestones happened here at the beach house.
“Do you know what?” He asked breaking the silence, even just the sound of his voice was enough to press my body and mind into total peace but also force my heart to beat at an ungodly speed, still after being together for two and a half years.
“What?”
“One day, the day we get married, I’ll scoop you up like this,” he pauses turning to me, I look at him confused for a second as he coddles me in his arms like a princess, I let out a giggle, “and I’ll carry you into this house,” he pointed to the summer house, “then I’ll carry you out back and all the way to the beach and kiss you until the sun goes down and the moon hangs up high in the sky like tonight and never let you go,” he whispered into my ear as we neared the beach.
“Connie,” I began but he shushed me
“I know, I know you don’t like planning that far ahead, but this is non-negotiable, you said we’re allowed one non-negotiable each. You have yours and I have mine,” he said in a manner of fact way, I just laughed and leaned up to kiss him.
“You do know, I know that was all a ruse so that I didn’t have to walk,” I said and he just smiled, “You’re amazing and I love you but please put me down,” I asked, not because I didn’t love to be treated like a princess but because I felt good and I wanted to experience this with him in the way it’s always meant to be.
When we got onto the open part of the beach it was much windier, Con took off his coat leaving him in his jumper and wrapped it around my arms. We listened to the song of the water and watched the waves.
“I can’t believe how lucky I am,” he announced into the night, he’s sat half leaning on his legs.
“Why’s that?” I asked, there were so many things both of us had to be thankful for.
“That I met you, that I have you, that you chose me and let me hold and love you, I think I’m the luckiest man on the planet,” he says, his gaze drifting to the stars above us. Not a single cloud in the sky tonight.
“Do you know what I think is lucky?” I asked laying my head on his shoulder, my eyes getting tired now.
He finally turns to me and smiles, “What?”
“That we both live in Boston,” I said and he shook his head, clearly not what he was expecting. But it was true, our grandparents met at the Cousin’s country club years ago, our grandmothers were friends which then meant our moms were friends, they went to collage together, it was both of their dreams to live in Boston so they moved out there together not expecting to both live in that city for so long but I was so thankful they did because that meant that I got the Fisher boys and Susannah all year round.
It was around the time that we could see the first shades of yellow and orange of the sun that we decided to head back, his sheets were cold but his arms around me were more than enough to keep me warm in the breezy summer night.
The next day mom and dad came round for breakfast, it was a feast ranging from cereal and toast to pancakes with fresh fruits and muffins which Jere and Belly had gone for a morning run for. Just as fast as the breakfast had disappeared, we were all packing up and getting ready to leave.
As I watched the scenery leaving Cousins, I felt guilty that everyone was cutting their trip short, no matter how much they tried to reassure me that it was okay and that they didn’t mind. Still Laurel, Belly and Steven had agreed to say in Susannah’s house in Boston for the week which meant we still got to have that time together before everything went back into motion in September.
*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*
It was a week after the Conklin’s left that I was told I would be better off shaving off my hair now with it being earlier in the process in order to avoid more emotional highs later on which could affect the medication.
I’d agreed on the terms that Susannah would be the one to do it, together we supported and acted for a hair donation charity which turned hair into wigs for children with cancer, so that’s exactly where my hair was headed.
It was a Friday night, which is always Pizza night, whether ordered in or homemade, one week at our house one week at the Fisher’s. It was that night that I was going to shave all the hair off, the thought wasn’t as scary as I remember it being from the first time around, but I would miss it.
I sit with a towel around my shoulders looking at myself in the mirror of the master bathroom, the boys were both sat in there with my mom, Belly was facetiming us and Susannah stood behind me with the scissors, this was harder for her than for me.
Mom held my hand and dad stood in the doorway with a tight smile. Susannah had braided my hair into two braids and after a nervous laughter and whispering ‘I love you’ she cut the first one, the snip of the scissors was loud in my ears as she worked through the thick of one braid. A breath escaped my lips and quickly enough we were on the second braid. Now Conrad held onto my other hand, the corners of his eyes creasing. And then the other was gone too.
In a way it felt like a weight was lifted off me, I mean it literally had been, my head felt lighter, and I was left with uneven scraps all over my head.
“Hey I dig the short hair!” Jeremiah says hand extended to fist bump me, I  felt obliged saying, “Now we know I could steal your hairstyle and still be cooler than you,” I remarked and he pulled a smirk.
“Listen up Y/n/n at least my cut isn’t so uneven,” he laughs
“Well, mine’s about to be more smooth than yours, what you gonna do?” I play intimidated as mom placed my braids into the zip lock bag ready to be posted.
“Some little girl or boy is going to be really happy when they receive that hair you know that Y/n” Susannah said squeezing my shoulders after plugging in the razor. This time I closed my eyes and squeezed Connie’s hand tighter.
When half my head was done, I felt a bit of a breeze but I didn’t want to open my eyes yet, I’ve said many times that hair wasn’t a determining factor in my life but at the end of the day it was a part of me.
“All done,” Susannah said and I could hear a fragile smile in her words, I nodded with my own smile.
Then after a second the sound of the razor when off again and my eyes shot open, before I could stop it I saw Connie’s soft, brown hair falling from his head. He has run a strip right in the middle of his hair.
I leaped out of the stool. But it was too fast, everything around me started spinning slightly and my knees had gone weak. I grabbed the counter in front of me and both mom and Jeremiah leaned forward for support.
“I’m okay,” I say after a second, I closed my eyes and steadied myself, what was actually a matter of a minute felt like hours, but then I was stood again with another reminder: slow.
“Connie what were you thinking?” I asked incredulously and he was just shaking his head smiling, a glimpse of tears in his eyes.
“I’m in this with you, I told you I would be here every step of the way and I will,” he stood right in front of me, his deep blue eyes staring right into my soul, how had I been so lucky to have been granted the love of this boy and everyone else in this room. I pulled him into a tight embrace, retaining his warmth, his touch.
Jere jerked taking the turned off razor out of his brother’s hand and worked it through his own hair. This time everyone gasped, Jeremiah loved his hair.
“Never have I ever thought I’d see that happen. Jere, you obsess over your hair, you love it!” Belly expressed through the phone, now Steven was leaning over her shoulder.
“Yo- you lot are brave!” he exclaimed with laughter; this was how he processed grief. He made jokes and laughed because otherwise it was much too bare, I didn’t blame him, in fact I found it comforting.
“I love my hair but you mean much more Y/n” Jere announced turning back to me and I couldn’t help but let the tears roll down my face now, pulling Jere to join the hug. He will be exactly the one for Belly, he’ll treat her well. I was sure of it.
Now it was my turn to sit on the edge of the tub, Susannah’s arm around me as we watched both her boys get their heads shaved by my mom.
“Well now we’re all gonna look like weirdos every time we leave the house,” I laughed looking at dad.
“And we’re gonna look like some cult parents who forced their kids to shave their heads,” he added back laughing
“I mean we could shave yours too David,” Susannah added, “Then we’ll confuse the narrative,”
“Only if your hair is next,” he challenged and I squeezed Suze’s hand, I would never let anyone come near her beautiful, golden hair.
“I think we’ve shaved enough heads for one day,” mom announces pulling the razor momentarily from Jere’s head, “Remember we have that dinner reservation in like two hours and I’d like to get changed from these sweats and t-shirt,” she goes back to Jere’s hair but before she’s able to make any progress she turns back around again, “Actually that’s a lie I could live in this outfit for the rest of my life I’m just not sure the people at the restaurant would appreciate it,” she says and every in the room laughs.
*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*
The hospital room I’d been in for the past week and a half has become a familiar sight, considering that I’ve only left it to go to other similar looking rooms in the hospital. I look at the clock, its five in the afternoon, I must have fallen asleep again. The November chill was visible outside by the frost on the other side of the glass.
On the other side of the room behind the wall I hear mom talking to someone, dad has gone to work for the day, they’ve started switching days, so I can only guess it’s Susannah or the boys.
“It’s been getting worse,” her voice quivers and a part of me wishes I could mute her out, still be asleep. I know the truth, a part of me has known it since I found out the cancer came back those couple of weeks before we departed for Cousins that summer, I wasn’t going to get better.
“There must be something they can do,” another voice said, this time my body hauled me up a little. Conrad. I’ve been letting him visit me, he wanted to be here all the time but I asked Susannah to pace him. He was here this morning. It was meant to be one visit a day.
I know that makes me sound horrible, and it makes my own heart shatter piece by piece but it wasn’t because I didn’t love him or because I didn’t want him to be here. I knew there would be a time where he would have to move on, life would continue and he has such a bright future ahead of him, so many people to meet and experiences to be had. In my head if the distancing started now maybe it would be easier for him, even still the image of him with any other girl made me feel sick.
“Is she awake?” Is what I hear when I break out of thought.
“She wasn’t when I left to get changed and grab some food, but it’s been a couple of hours so she should be waking up soon if you want to go in,” mom said and I silently battled with the thought of pretending to still be asleep.
Before I had the time to make the choice the door was opening and then Conrad’s and my eyes met and he was coming to sit next to my bed, quickly pulling his hand into mine.
He bought a bag of games with him, we started with some card games, then snake and ladders, then four in a row and so on for a couple of hours. I was glad he came for the second time today.
“What?” He asked, I was staring at him but it wasn’t like he wasn’t staring back
“No nothing, just wondering how I managed to score such a hot boyfriend,” I say fanning myself with one hand, “And he’s a teddybear and sweetheart.” I added and watched him cringe at my words.
“I’m the one who should be asking how I managed to get a girlfriend as stunning and kindhearted as you,” he said but I just rolled my eyes. As much as we did this over the top thing as a joke we both knew we meant the words.
We talked and talked that night, he held my hand through it all. I didn’t realize how late it was but mom had come to sit in the corner of the room, she’d been having trouble sleeping recently but she’d managed to snooze off.
“I love you so much Connie, I’m thankful for you everyday, never ever change,” I whispered holding back a sob, he was half asleep on his chair next to my bed too.
“I love you too,” he said leaning up to kiss me gently. Then Connie and I whispered to each other until I too was fading away into sleep.
*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*
Conrad’s POV:
I never thought I’d be stood here, looking at all these people and her picture in front of a casket. I took that photo the day I asked her to be my girlfriend on Cousins beach, all her teeth were shining pearly white and her hair was blowing in the wind framing her face like a masterpiece statue or a goddess.
“I think you all know that Y/n meant more to me than anything and anyone in my life, alongside my family. We grew up with each other. We were there for each other in the good and bad times even before we were together romantically. She is- was- one of the most integral pieces of the puzzle of our lives. I think I can speak on behalf of our families,” I pause, tears rolling down my face, and a sob building up in my throat, “I don’t know how I will be able to go day by day without seeing her, hearing her voice and her passion. She inspired me more than anyone and I will love her until the day I die and even further into whatever comes after death, I will do everything in my power to make sure all her goals for the many charities and organizations are complete, I will build a new charity in her name, I will make sure she gets the remembrance she deserves, because- because more than anyone I know she deserved all happiness and love. She will be missed more than I could ever have the words to express” I finished and turned to the casket, “Please don’t leave me, come back to me,” I whispered.
There was more I wanted to say, I could speak about her for days and nights on end, about how wonderful and bubbly and kind she was and yet I couldn’t. These faces in the crowd, some knew her better than others but no one like our little families, Belly, Jere and Steven were all sat next to each other crying. Mom was holding her arms around Y/n’s mom and dad as they stared at me, thankful for my words.  
I broke into tears too, leaning onto the stand in front of me for support. Mom rushed towards me now, holding me close and helping me down to the seats. There I sat numb, tears flowing as the pastor finished the ceremony after which we all filed out and watched her get lowered into her grave. It read ‘Y/n L/n. Daughter, friend, love. An inspiration to all’
I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since I was holding her hand the night she passed. Two weeks since I’ve lost my everything.
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𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
「 ✦ bucky barnes ✦ 」
╰┈➤18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all bucky barnes stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
𓇼 video games by @twoghostsfromeden
𓆉Sam Wilson attempts to teach Bucky how to play video games, but you have a different idea
𓇼 just like dad by @ladyfallonavenger
𓆉 The Reader loses Bucky in the snap and life presents a whole new challenge.
𓇼 coming in hot by @nexusnyx (ao3 link)
𓆉When your best friend Sarah recommends you a mechanic of her brother’s trust, all you can think about and pray to is that he doesn’t rip you off. Your car is your prized possession and amidst all the worry and concern of your medical studies, drowning in even more debt sounds as suffocating as it would be.
Of course, you never thought of the possibility of the mechanic being the problem. A hot, polite, gentle, and silent-type of problem.
Drowning in debt would be easier to navigate than the blue of Bucky Barnes’s eyes.
𓇼wallpaper by @cosmicbucky
𓆉 bucky finds out how to change the wallpaper on your phone, and takes every opportunity he can to do so. until one day he doesn't have the heart to.
𓇼 consequences by @duuhrayliegh
𓇼@ellemj
𓆉 letters to santa pt2
𓆉 need and wants
𓆉 against the rules
🫧 Bucky's trying to fuck you senseless so you'll have to sleep over. Isn't that how a friends with benefits situation is supposed to work?
𓆉 i hate you
🫧 y/n has these weird mind powers where she can feel others feelings or make others feel hers...she accidentally during a very heated fun time projects everything she is feeling to Bucky, basically doubling his pleasure
𓇼 trust by @kgficz
𓆉Set during the end of ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’. You had been forced to work as a nurse for Hydra’s soldiers, you never expected The Winter Soldier to be one of them. What happens when he starts to care about you?
𓇼 glitter and goo by @welldonebeca
𓆉 When you have to go on a mission to a different planet together, Bucky is hit by a mating ritual flower, and some feelings you two have been hiding come up
𓇼 accidental pic by @mostlymarvelsstuff
𓆉Reader recives Buckys nudes accidentally
𓇼 just friends by @cadaverousnight
𓆉A night of drinking makes Bucky bold and a harmless text makes him bolder
𓇼 @espinosaurusrexex
𓆉Worlds Collide
🫧 The world is ending. And there are two types of people: The ones that embrace the last pieces of happiness left, and the ones that just don’t bother anymore. When those two clash, there’s no way of knowing what will happen. But maybe, some hopes and dreams aren’t so different after all and the both of them get a chance at becoming more than just acquaintances.
𓆉 refuge
🫧 You had a track record of cracking tough cases, but this one proved to be your breaking point. The Winter Soldier was out there, thirsting for blood, operating in total anonymity, and leaving a trail of bodies in the cold Colorado snow. Then, just as a snowstorm was about to paralyse the town, Bucky Barnes appeared on your doorstep – lost, sweet, and in dire need of help. It all seems too good to be true, but what happens when his secrets come to haunt him and Bucky’s blurred past reveals a predicament neither of you saw coming?
𓆉happy little accidents
🫧 In a world after the war, Bucky tries to get pieces of his old self back by joining an art class. He meets you and instantly falls head over heels. Now he just has to work up the courage to ask you out.
𓆉serious questions
🫧 Bucky agrees to go on a date to make his colleagues shut up. Now, he just feels sorry for the poor woman that has to spend an entire evening with him. He really tries to make it work, though, because he actually enjoys her company.
𓆉 bad boys don’t buy flowers
🫧 Bucky would have never thought, he’d be chasing after a girl. Not when all of them usually fell at his feet. But when he finds himself entangled in a deal born out of a desperate argument with his assistant, he realizes there is nothing he wouldn't do for you: The independent florist who is adamantly dragging him to the homeless shelter every chance she gets. There is just one problem: Bucky doesn't know how to tell you. And the teasing from his friends is certainly not making things easier for him...
𓆉request oneshot
𓆉 remember me
🫧 After a fight against the most notorious Hydra agent of all, Steve and you discover that your assumed diseased friend Bucky is still alive. Old wounds resurface as you are confronted with the grappling reality that you have lived vastly different lives for the past 70 years. Will he remember your shared history? And most importantly: does he still feel the same?
𓇼 @pellucid-constellations
𓆉 unexpected
🫧 With all of his rough edges and impassive glances, Bucky Barnes looked to be the last person you’d find at an elementary school bake sale. Too bad Steve couldn’t make it, and dealing with a class hopped up on sugar wasn’t a feat you could manage alone
𓆉 i need him like water
🫧 You think Bucky’s having an affair. He thinks… well you aren’t sure what he thinks. But he must notice the living room light is left on. Every night.
𓆉 flowers in the compound
🫧 That girl from the flower shop seems to be taking up a lot of Bucky’s time.
𓆉 request one shot
🫧 You knew Bucky didn't like his arm. You just didn't know how much until he accidentally hurt you with it.
𓆉 counting
🫧 Time heals all wounds. Bucky’d been holding onto that proverb ever since blip. But time had never been particularly kind to him, so he opted to keep track of the sweet girl’s in his apartment building instead, the one that made him banana bread and took him to diners at two in the morning. Sometimes, you didn’t keep the same schedule. That made Bucky panic.
𓇼 everybody talks by @nickfowlerrr
𓇼 @buckyalpine
𓆉come back to you
🫧 What happens when a time travel mission ends up with a version of Bucky from the 40′s standing on the time travel platform. 
𓆉 did you hear
𓆉 40s bucky w/ nurse!reader
𓆉 sunshine
𓆉 spiral
𓆉 pick me
𓆉 untouched
𓆉 tongue twister
𓆉 wait what pt2 pt3 pt4
𓆉 can you not pt2 pt3
𓆉 choices pt2
𓆉 drabble
𓇼 aching by @bbyboybucket
𓆉After Reader gives Bucky a massage, he realizes how much he likes her touch
𓇼 tiny match maker by @jamdoughnutmagician
𓆉 Adjusting to his new life outside of the superhero business, Bucky makes the acquaintance of a very young, inquisitive girl.
𓇼 metal arm brrr by @bombsonboard
𓆉 Every problem needs a solution. Bucky just isn't the biggest fan of yours.
𓇼 the cards were dealt by @bucky-fricking-barnes
𓆉Bucky and Y/N are the children of the two most prominent mob bosses in New York. When their parents use them as part of a deal, they’re left to figure out how their lives fit together.
𓇼 @holylulusworld
𓆉 a different kind of valentine pt2
🫧 Your fiancé breaks your heart on Valentine’s Day out of all days.
𓆉 happy birthday big grump
🫧 Your new neighbor is a professional grump. No reason to not be nice to him on his birthday.
𓆉 april fools day (stucky x reader)
🫧 Steve and Bucky ask you to join their prank.
𓇼 siren be bound to me by @darkdemeter
𓆉He is your captain. There is no place you'd rather be than by his side, nothing you could ever want for that is not him. You owe everything, your entire self, to him.
And yet overboard and on the tide you set sail across in search for a great and ancient treasure, a song continues to seep through the cracks of your heart and soul... a song so familiar yet unknown.
Forgotten. And Bucky reminds you yet again that there no place else for you that isn't beside him, that there is nothing out there
𓇼 to have and to hold harm by @queers-gambit
𓆉after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become
𓇼 @thighs-of-betrayal-blog
𓆉 jealous bucky
𓆉 request oneshot
𓆉 hold the door
🫧 You’ve never met your new neighbor, not until an incident happens involving the apartments elevator. 
𓇼 out of practice by @drabbles-mc
𓆉 reader is a mom, bucky hasn't dated in like 70 years
𓇼 @jobean12-blog
𓆉 next door to love
🫧 When you made the move to the city you never expected your new neighbor to be so sweet and helpful...or hot.
𓆉 this spells love
🫧 Bucky is your best friend and he really is the best but he wants more, he wants everything, but the idea that it could ruin your friendship and he could lose you is too much...
𓆉 boom clap
🫧 Before tonight you wouldn't have been able to label your relationship with Bucky but after he gets home earlier than expected from a mission and shows up at the bar everything changes.
𓆉 everything you want
🫧 there’s no one you trust more than your husband and he always knows exactly what you want.
𓇼 meet my family by @skaye44
𓆉Your parents want to meet your boyfriend Bucky which you agree, but the whole family invites itself along for the meeting.
𓇼 my sun my star pt2 pt3 by @cosmos-coma
𓆉 You wait up late for your boyfriend Bucky to return from his mission, but it isn't Bucky who finds you
𓇼 @mrsbarnesblog
𓆉 my everything
🫧 The last thing that Bucky ever expected to see was the love of his life from the past trapped in one of the Hydra bunkers in the cryofreeze chamber. Yet here he was almost two days later, staring at your still unconscious body through the window at the medical wing, imagining the horror and disgust on your face when you found out that he was no longer the innocent and happy boy you knew before
𓆉 i trust you
🫧 when Bucky comes back from a mission with a knife wound there is only one person who can convince him to get help
𓇼 5+1 by @mrs-illyrian-baby
𓆉 Whether it's on a mission, a work event or a holiday, your sleeping arrangements never seem to work out as planned. It doesn't really bother you until...it does. Confronted with a night sleeping apart, you and Bucky finally talk
𓇼 just like that by @navybrat817
𓆉Bucky suggests staying in a hotel together before an undercover mission, which would be fine if you didn't have a massive crush on the super soldier.
𓇼 @sergeantbuckybarnes
𓆉 begin again everything i wanted
🫧 When you go to meet your friend at her work you see a cute guy had been stood up, so you’re going to be the best date of his life.
𓆉 amnesia
🫧 During a fight in Madripoor you get hit in the head resulting in forgetting the last ten years of your life. And most important, your boyfriend.
𓇼 @angrythingstarlight
𓆉 diamonds
𓆉 chubby!bucky
𓆉 more chubby baker! bucky
𓆉 blow me away
🫧 You just discovered that your boyfriend has never had a blowjob before and that’s a travesty. Good thing you’re about to blow his mind.
𓇼 @literaryavenger
𓆉 not so bad
🫧 It's Bucky's birthday, but doesn't want to make a big deal out of it.
𓆉 happy birthday
🫧 It's your birthday and the only person who doesn't seem to be excited about it is you
𓇼 body and soul by @theladybarnes
𓆉 Reader has a conversation with Sam that leaves her a little confused before her date with Bucky. Includes probably the best romance movie quote to ever grace films.
𓇼 you’re my desire pt2 by @marvelouslizzie
𓆉Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers' date, but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes' arms.
𓇼 she chose me by @notafunkiller
𓆉Steve's hopes get crushed when he wrongly assumes you'd choose him over Bucky.
𓇼 bucky has a crush by @assembletheimagines
𓇼 buckyvision by @fictionalmemoirs
𓆉 pt1 pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 pt5.5 pt6 pt7 pt8 pt9 pt10
𓇼 @christowhore
𓆉 eye for an eye
🫧 you come home one night to find bucky in bed with another woman. after threatening divorce, he begs for your forgiveness and tells you he'll do anything. he should’ve known to always be careful with what you wish for.
𓆉 just one more minute
🫧 you grow tired of bucky constantly leaving you in dark when it comes to his feelings. finally, you have enough.
•masterlist
• marvel masterlist
hopefully all links work, let me know if not <3
last update april 4, 2024
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mcntsee · 10 days
Text
— ★ tomorrow
Tumblr media
↳ summary: “I wasted all those yesterdays, and now,—“ His words trailed off with a sigh, his eyes red-rimmed from hours of tears shed in the hospital, his gaze blurry as it searched for her face, “—What if I am completely out of tomorrows?”
↳ warnings: hospitals, mentions of gunshot wounds, pain, regret, not proof-read. No use of “y/n”
↳ author’s note: This is fluff, I promise the end is really sweet! This is also inspired by different, random, pinterest quotes my friends sent me. Enjoy!
* ੈ✩‧₊˚
No one enjoyed hospitals. The colors lacked vibrancy, the sounds became repetitive after a few minutes, the antiseptic smell was overpowering, the food tasted bland, and the anxious wait for news about a loved one was excruciating.
Unfortunately, the team was all too familiar with hospital waiting rooms, and even more unfortunate was their familiarity with being patients themselves.
Thankfully, the Federal Employees' Compensation Act provided some relief. Without it, they couldn't even begin to fathom the astronomical medical bills they'd be facing.
Tonight, however, finding themselves stuck in the uncomfortable chairs of the hospital waiting room had not been part of their plans.
The young genius's head throbbed relentlessly, a sensation he'd endured for weeks. The unimaginable pressure around his entire head, compounded with the bright light reflecting off the hospital's shiny white walls, the incessant beeping and the sounds of loved ones crying doing nothing other than intensify his discomfort.
The nurse they had bombarded with questions upon arrival had emerged not long ago to thankfully inform them that everything was alright. The surgery had gone well, and she was now in recovery. Soon enough, if they wished, they could stop by her new temporary room and visit her.
By now, most of the team had returned to the office. Hotch had been called back to work to tackle the pending files on their desks. Fortunately, he had allowed Rossi and Reid to remain behind. Ostensibly, their task was to update the team on her condition, but both of them understood that even if that hadn’t been necessary, there was no force on earth that could have budged Spencer from his spot, where he had been stationed for the last however many hours.
Spencer could feel David's gaze piercing through him. He wanted to snap at him, but he knew his current behavior had undoubtedly attracted more attention than just the older agent's. Clutching at his head, tugging on strands of hair intermittently, his leg bouncing up and down, with eyes tightly shut—his agitation was palpable.
“Kid, they said she’s alright. You need to relax.”
It was true, they had been told that, but it did little to reassure him. His mind raced through various worst-case scenarios. Her wound could become infected, or there might be undetected damage to internal organs. He fretted over potential complications like inflammation of the peritoneum, the formation of blood clots, or even damage to blood vessels leading to reduced blood flow to vital organs, potentially resulting in organ dysfunction or failure.
“The survival rate might seem high, but statistically speaking, complications can arise, even with the best medical care.”
“Spencer—“
“For instance, studies have shown that gunshot wounds to the abdomen carry a significant risk of infection, with rates as high as 20%. And there’s the possibility of peritonitis, which occurs in approximately 10% of cases.”
“Kid—“
“Organ damage is also a concern, particularly with injuries to vital organs like the liver or intestines. Even with the most advanced treatments—“
“Reid!”
For the first time since he sat down, his leg ceased its relentless movement. His hand, which had been tugging at the ends of his hair, relaxed and dropped to his lap, along with the hand he had been waving in the air to explain the statistics. His eyes unclenched, the worry in his brow disappearing as the rest of his facial muscles relaxed.
“What is going on, Spencer?”
The genius's eyes met the older agent's worried gaze with deliberate blinks, adjusting to the harsh fluorescent lights overhead while tuning out the cacophony of noise that surrounded them. “I just— I”
“I never told her and I— I don’t— “ His breathing was uneven, his words tumbling out faster than his mind could keep pace, his mouth struggling to articulate as his chest constricted with anxiety.
A gentle weight settled on his shoulder, its warmth grounding him as it gave a light shake, bringing him back to the present moment and prompting him to pause and take a breath.
“Rossi I- I devoted half my time since meeting her to loving her, only to spend the other half hiding it from her.”
With a sigh, the formerly retired agent settled down next to the much younger agent, his hands staying on the genius's shoulder as he shifted slightly to find a comfortable position.
Reid's gaze lingered on Rossi's face for a moment before he averted it, focusing instead on the bustling activity in the hallway where nurses and doctors hurried back and forth attending to patients.
“Every moment we shared, every laugh, every smile she graced me with, even in her unconscious gestures—“ His gaze returned to the hallway momentarily before lowering to where his hands rested on his knees. With a quick, almost imperceptible shake of his head, he cleared his throat. “Every time I looked at her, the words swelled in my throat. I longed to tell her how much she truly means to me, the happiness and peace she effortlessly brings into my world.”
“To tell her that I love her. That I have for a while now.”
David’s mouth opened, but before he could utter a word, Spencer's pointer finger shot up in the air, silencing any impending speech. It hovered there for a brief moment before his whole palm opened, effectively halting whatever words David had intended to say and then dropping back down to his lap.
“Every single time, I held back. I stopped myself from reaching out to her, from letting my true feelings spill out, from whispering all the things I desperately wished she knew.” His words cracked along with his voice as he, for the first time, admitted aloud feelings he had hidden for so long. “And with my heart pounding in my ears, I always just watched her, silently promising myself, ‘Tomorrow. I’ll tell her tomorrow.’”
“I wasted all those yesterdays, and now,—“ His words trailed off with a sigh that escaped his lips, his eyes red-rimmed from hours of tears shed in the hospital, his gaze blurry as it searched for the older man’s face, “—What if I am completely out of tomorrows?”
They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of Spencer's admission hanging between them until the ringing of a phone shattered the stillness. With a sigh, Rossi reached into his pocket, retrieving the vibrating phone and glancing at the contact name.
“She’ll be okay, kid.”
With one final, reassuring squeeze to his shoulder, the older man rose to his feet, his knee cracking audibly as he turned to leave. Despite his efforts at reassurance, Spencer's profound anxiety remained largely unchanged.
He felt utterly helpless, his mind desperately grasping for solutions, for the comforting embrace of statistical analysis with its reassuring numbers. But instead, there was only silence. For the first time in his life, his mind was empty, devoid of answers, devoid of the usual cacophony of thoughts and calculations.
He couldn't recall the moment the nurse returned to inform him that he could visit her, nor did he remember following the nurse into the room and settling down beside her bed.
He cast restless glances around the room, his eyes darting from one piece of medical equipment to another, then flitting to the walls and ceiling. His gaze moved incessantly, pausing only briefly before moving on, taking in every detail. Except for her.
Alone in the quiet with her, he couldn't bring himself to meet her frame. To look at her now would make everything feel too real, and his heart was already heavy with pain.
His body felt like it was betraying him. Breathing became labored, thoughts fragmented, and the pain in his heart seemed insurmountable.
He wanted to tell someone— no, he wanted to tell her, but he knew she wouldn’t have a solution like she always did. So he sat there, his hands nervously tugging at strands of hair, eyes squeezed shut against the overwhelming cacophony of beeping machines surrounding them.
His heart weighed heavily in his chest, burdened by the weight of pain, regret, and fear. It was a sensation he never wanted to experience again, a darkness that threatened to engulf him entirely.
Throughout the night, nurses came and went. Some spoke to him, gave him updates on her condition but he didn’t listen. He tried, he just couldn’t understand it.
As the first light of dawn crept over the horizon, he reluctantly turned his gaze toward her bed. His eyes lingered on her hand, once so delicate and warm in his, now adorned with tubes and wires connecting her to different machines.
With a heavy sigh, his eyes remained fixed on her hand as he leaned forward, feeling the strain in his back from hours of immobility. With gentle care, he reached out and clasped her hand in his, his thumb tracing soothing circles over the back of it, mindful of the wires and tubes.
He remained still for a moment, relishing the warmth of her hand in his before allowing his gaze to travel up her arm, eyes tracing the patterns of the thin, cream-colored blanket that draped over her midsection when they got there. Then, his gaze shifted to her other arm, positioned protectively over her stomach where the wound lay, as if guarding it from further harm.
He studied the blue hospital gown draped over her body, its hue accentuating the sickly paleness of her skin. He traced every curve, every wrinkle, every wire, everything until his eyes finally met her bruised face.
She looked so peaceful and beautiful, devoid of worry. The furrows that typically marked her brow now absent, her closed eyes darting beneath her lids.
Tears welled in his eyes, the overwhelming emotions washing over him as he gazed upon her form. There was no smile, no gentle words escaping her lips, just a faintly parted mouth and serene countenance.
“Please wake up.” he whispered, his voice raspy from not being used in hours. “Please.” The desperation in his voice was evident in the way it cracked, in the way his chest tightened, in the way his throat constricted.
But she didn’t. Not for two weeks.
The medics reassured the team that she was showing positive signs and was going to be fine. They explained that in cases of severe internal bleeding within the abdominal cavity, it was common for patients to take longer to regain consciousness. "Sometimes, this can lead to hypovolemic shock and reduced blood flow to vital organs, including the brain," said the doctor they were currently questioning, one arm cradling a notepad against his chest while the other gestured towards her on the hospital bed, "which contributes to the prolonged unconsciousness she's experiencing."
Once the team's questions were answered, the doctor turned towards the door, his pen moving rapidly across the notepad as he scribbled something down. Upon reaching the door, he paused, pivoting back to face them. "While I can't predict the exact timeline for her awakening, I want to reassure you that we're doing everything we can to support her recovery." Tucking his pen back into his chest pocket, he scanned the room, meeting each person's gaze before lingering on on the genius’.
"Every individual responds differently to trauma and surgery, and it's not uncommon for patients to take some time to regain consciousness," he said, his tone gentle and reassuring, his kind smile directed at Spencer. "However, I want to emphasize that she's showing positive signs of progress, and her body is responding well to treatment. She should be waking up soon." With a final nod in the genius’ direction, he opened the door and disappeared into the flow of medical staff and patients outside her room.
The doctor's reassuring words and comforting demeanor provided Spencer with a small sense of relief.
As the days stretched on, nearing the two-week mark since her surgery, Spencer's exhaustion was becoming more evident. Dark circles underlined his eyes, his hair unkempt, and he felt the weight of fatigue settling into his bones. Sitting by her bedside day after day had taken its toll, leaving him feeling drained and with a sore backside.
It wasn’t until night, when he was alone with her again that he made a promise. “If you wake up tomorrow, I promise—“ He delicately released her hand, curling his fingers into a fist before extending his pinky finger to link with hers. “I pinky promise,” he whispered, a soft, trembling laugh escaping his lips as he recalled her insistence that a promise was only truly binding if sealed with a pinky. “If you wake up tomorrow, I’ll tell you everything.”
He had made up his mind days ago, swearing to himself that the moment she regained consciousness, he would lay everything bare. He hoped that verbalizing the promise would somehow penetrate her unconsciousness and draw her back to him.
As the night wore on and the room bathed in the soft glow of predawn, his senses awakened to a subtle movement near his head, his mind clouded with confusion as he remained still, trying to grasp his surroundings.
He found himself in a hazy state, unable to pinpoint the exact moment sleep had claimed him, yet the sensation of their linked pinkies lingered, his other hand placed gently on her leg, while his head rested on the bed.
It wasn’t until he felt his pinky being squeezed that Spencer’s senses sharpened, his back straightening with a crack as his eyes snapped into focus on her. The familiar furrow returned to her brow as she squeezed her eyes shut, her free hand instinctively reaching up to rub at her forehead.
His breath caught in his throat, his body frozen as he stared at her, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.
“Spence?”
Her voice was raspy, her tone confused as her eyes opened and scanned the room. Without hesitation, he rose from his seat, hands releasing hers as he hurried to the table with the water bottles. He swiftly grabbed one, unscrewing the cap as he returned to her side.
She struggled to lift herself up on her elbows, her eyes tracking his movements, fixated on the open water bottle as he presented it to her. With a gentle nod from her, he brought the bottle closer, tipping it carefully as it reached her parched lips, his other hand positioned beneath her chin, ready to catch any droplets that might escape.
After consuming almost half of the bottle, she gently pushed it away from her lips, taking a moment to swallow the last gulp before lying back down.
He remained in a state of shock, his mind racing faster than it had in weeks, attempting to process the moment as he observed her shifting, striving to find a comfortable position.
“Spence?”
“You—” he began, his words trailing off as he struggled to articulate his thoughts. “You are awake.”
At his words, a gentle smile, the one he had longed to see for weeks, graced her lips. She nodded in acknowledgment as she looked at him. Without hesitation, he moved forward, enveloping her in a tight embrace, being careful not to hurt her. "You're awake," he whispered softly, his face nuzzling into her neck.
He knew he was supposed to call a nurse in —something the staff had reminded him of repeatedly— , but in that moment, he couldn’t bear to let her go. So, he held her tighter, his arms enveloping her as if protecting her from everything, his hand gently cradling the back of her head, thumb tracing soothing circles as he drew her closer.
They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity before he released her from his embrace, his body reluctantly withdrawing from her warmth. His hands remained, tenderly cupping her face as he gazed into her eyes, memorizing every detail of her being.
"I have to tell you something," he whispered, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The familiar nerves and doubt flooded back, causing his heart to race so fast that he knew that if he had been the one hooked up to the machines, medics would have surely burst into the room thinking someone was having a heart attack.
He hesitated, his eyes lingering on her face, absorbing every detail illuminated by the gentle glow of the sun filtering into the room.
In his hesitation, his mind revisited every memory he shared with her. He recalled the moments he wanted to confess but held back, as well as his conversation with Rossi. Then, the memory of their pinky promise last night resurfaced, reminding him of his commitment. He couldn’t break a pinky promise.
“Spencer?”
“I love you.” There. He said it. His gaze lowered in fear of rejection, the nerves in his stomach growing, but he kept going, he had to. “I am so unimaginably in love with you.”
“Spencer—“
“No, I need—“ he paused, his eyes brimming with unshed tears, gazing still fixated downward as he cleared his throat from the imaginary knot that was beginning to form there. “I need you to know that every time you smile, every time you laugh, every time you talk to me, it’s like my whole world lights up.”
“And when you look at me, it’s like everything else fades away, and there’s just you.” With a deep inhale, he squeezed his eyes shut, colors swirling behind his eyelids from the pressure, before slowly exhaling and looking up to meet her gaze. “I can’t even scientifically explain how you make me feel. There is no book, or research article that explains what you make me feel.”
One of his hands left her face, gesturing through the air as he attempted to explain everything without the safety net of statistical knowledge. “Every time I’m near you, it’s like my heart speeds up so much that, scientifically speaking, I should be dead.” The quiet chuckle that escaped her lips reached his ears, easing the tight lines on his forehead as his lips formed into a gentle smile. “But it doesn’t matter, because being near you makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before.”
“Every little thing you do, it just… it makes me fall more and more in love with you.”
“God, I’ve loved you for so long.” His hand halted its relentless movement and lowered to push the hair out of his eyes before running down his face with a grunt of frustration.
"I've fought multiple inner battles trying to tell you how I feel, only to back down at the last minute, silently promising myself that I would do it the next day."
Her eyes softened at his words, her lips pulling into a sad smile as his remained parted, eyes teary as they left her gaze and focused on his lap. “And then you got shot and I—“ The memories of everything that happened in the last two weeks rushing back to him. "I thought I had run out of next days.”
Her hand, which had been holding his against her cheek, shifted gently, cupping his cheek and wiping away the tear that had managed to escape his eyes.
With a sigh, he looked up to meet her eyes again, his own free hand coming up to hold the hand she now had on his cheek. He leaned into her touch, his head resting against her hand as she rubbed soothing circles against the stubble that had appeared after weeks of not shaving. “I adore you.”
His face inched closer to hers, resting his forehead against hers. "I’m fine with whatever you want as long as I'm able to have you in my life," he whispered, his warm breath brushing against her skin. "I love you so, so much. Always." With that, their foreheads separated and his lips moved up to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead.
The room fell silent, his words hanging in the air as she processed them. After another second, Spencer moved, standing up and letting her know that he was going to go get a nurse before quickly disappearing.
The nurses flooded her room with warmth and care, each one exuding kindness as they attended to her needs, explaining her situation, answering questions, and expressing relief that she was recovering well.
Spencer stood patiently by the door, his shoulder leaning against the frame as he observed the nurses with gratitude, thanking them as they left after ensuring everything was in order.
As the last nurse made her way to the door, she slowed her footsteps, casting a reassuring smile at Spencer. “I told you she’d be alright, sweetheart,” she said with a gentle tone.
Marisa, the lovely old nurse, had not only been concerned about his best friend’s well-being but also his. The genius could confidently say that, had it not been for Marisa, he probably would’ve starved in that hospital chair.
She would often stop by during her morning shift, offering reassurance that she would be alright, often bending a few hospital rules to make Spencer more comfortable, providing him with the comfiest blankets, or allowing him to take showers in the bedroom’s bathroom so he wouldn’t have to leave her side.
She also insisted on him taking breaks to get some fresh air, eat proper meals, and change his clothes, assuring him that if anything happened, she would call him immediately.
With a comforting squeeze to his arm, the nurse left, closing the door gently behind her and leaving the two of them alone in the room.
As he settled back into the familiar chair, their eyes met once more, exchanging a silent understanding. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, relishing each other's presence. Eventually, Spencer broke the quietude. "I should call the team," he suggested softly.
He rose from the chair, his hand diving into his pocket to retrieve his phone. With his back turned to her, he scrolled through his contacts, his foot shifting slightly as he prepared to step away.
Before he could get far, his movements halted by the touch of her hand on his arm, he lowered his phone and turned back to her, meeting her gaze with curiosity. "Wait," she said softly. With a nod, he returned his phone to his pocket, yielding to her gentle tug until he found himself seated by her side on the bed.
A grunt of discomfort escaped her lips as she struggled to sit up, reaching out for his hand for support. Once she was upright, she shifted closer to him. “What are- oomf—“ before he could finish, his question was cut off by the sudden press of her lips against his, her hands gripping the back of his head.
His body momentarily stiffened, eyes widening in surprise as he tried to process what was happening. When it finally clicked, the initial shock turned into a gentle surrender as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to be swept away by the warmth of her lips against his.
With a soft exhale, his hand instinctively rose to caress her cheek, pulling her face even closer to his and deepening the kiss.
If he had ever believed his heart couldn’t beat any faster than when in her presence, he stood corrected. Now, he was certain he was experiencing a heart attack.
His lips moved against hers so perfectly, as if they had kissed a thousand times before, as if their souls recognized each other instantly.
It was perfect, not because it was flawless, but because it felt so real.
He never wanted to stop; her lips were addicting, but when his lungs screamed at him for air, he reluctantly pulled his lips away from hers, resting his forehead against hers as they caught their breath.
“I love you too, Spencer.”
His head jerked back, eyes wide open as he looked at her, scanning her expression, looking for any hint that she was lying, only to find honesty shining through her eyes.
With a laugh, she took his face back in her hands, pulling him closer and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “You have, and will always be the one my heart searches for in a world full of everyone else.”
With a toothy smile, he pulled her lips back to his, chuckling inwardly, as their lips met, acknowledging that if he thought he reached the peak before, he was mistaken again. His heart was racing faster than ever before. A heart attack of a different kind.
A heart attack that he’d gladly experience a million times more.
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imbored1201 · 6 days
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Dumb Decisions
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Happy birthday to my homie @sleekswosobession
Pairing: Barcelona Femeni x Reader (Sick fic)
Word Count: 1.1k
You cursed in your head as you were woken up by Alexia pulling your blankets off you. “Get up,” she said, grabbing your bag and throwing it on your bed to get you started. It took you a while to actually process what was going on, but all you knew was that your head hurt really bad and you felt like you were about to throw up. 
You were sick. You spent the next 10 minutes questioning if you should tell Alexia or not. 
You told yourself it was dumb to train and that you should tell Alexia, but there was the other part of you that didn’t care and just wanted to train. 
The second part won. You were able to take medicine without Alexia noticing before you left for training, but the nausea really hit you when you walked into the locker room. 
The loud conversations weren't helping with the headache. Especially with Patri blasting her music and running around poking everyone to get them excited for this very early training. 
“Aw, what’s wrong?” Frido cooed and pinched your cheek when she noticed your mood. “I'm just not feeling it today." She frowned and patted your head before leaving you alone. 
————
“Y/N, come here." You froze hearing Jonatans voice, quickly making your way to him. “Si?” You tried your best to make yourself look somewhat presentable, but you were barely able to stand straight at this point, just wanting to curl up on the grass and cry. 
“Go see the medics,” you said, giving him an odd look. “Why? I don’t feel any discomfort.” 
“You look pale; you're off your game today; even right now, you're struggling to even catch your breath. Get checked out.”
He waved you off, leaving you no room to argue back. You simply huffed and walked back to the lockers. 
————
You shuffled into the room, looking in between them. They stared back at you, inspecting you to see what was wrong. “Sit,” one of them said. “She’s all yours,” the other one said, and she walked out to go back onto the field to monitor. 
“Symptoms?” “I don’t feel anything,” she let out a sigh. “Do I have to get Alexia?” You looked at her, terrified. “No” 
“You know, when players are sick, they usually stay home,” you heard her mutter. You scowled, “I’m not sick; just tell Jonatan I’m fine.” You were silenced by her glare. 
“Do you want me to lose my job?” You quickly shook your head, thinking of any other ways to get out of this situation. 
“Can I at least change out of these clothes? I feel nasty.” She just nodded, desperately wanting to get a tiny break from you. 
————
There were 10 minutes left of practice, so you knew she was going to notice; you just hoped it was towards the last 5 minutes. 
“Here comes trouble." Cata commented as she watched you jog back to Jona to tell him you were "fine.”. 
He did look a bit worried, but he decided to just let you off and motioned for you to go on a team for a scrimmage. 
You didn’t know why, but you were tired before it even started. “You haven’t done anything,” Patri commented when she noticed how you were struggling to even stand. This drew the attention of everyone. 
“I need a moment," you said as you sat down, regretting even coming back on the pitch. 
“You okay?” Ingrid put a hand on your back, watching as you struggled to catch your breath. "Fine,” you wheezed out. 
After a couple more minutes, you finally recovered. “Why is everyone staring at me?” You whined to Ingrid, and everyone quickly went back to doing their drill. “Let's get you some water.” 
“Y/N!” You froze hearing the medic, everyone watched shocked as she started sprinting towards you. “Ah shit” as much as you wanted to run away, you just didn’t have any energy left and just sat on the grass, accepting your fate. 
“What is going on?!” Jona asked, frustrated; training had been interrupted way too much today, and he was sick of it. “She’s sick, and she lied to me,” Jona sighed and waved Alexia over. 
“Never a moment of peace with you around,” Alexia muttered, dragging you off the pitch. You made sure to stick your tongue out at the medic. 
————
“Sit down,” Alexia said sternly, for once you actually listened to her. “What are you feeling?” You were about to speak until she cut you off. “And be honest, no lies,” you rubbed your nose. 
“I’m not feeling good,” you admitted, and you watched as Irene entered the room again. Alexia held back a sarcastic comment, looking at her. Irene took that as a sign to take over and gently pushed Ale away to cool down. 
“Okay, let's do this quickly so we can get you home.'' You rubbed your eyes and nodded at her words. You watched as everyone entered the locker room again and took the water from Salma. 
“This is probably the dumbest thing you’ve done." You glared at Salma and watched as Patri and Pina laughed at you. “Alexia, tell them to leave me alone.” 
One look from Alexia, and they quickly went back to doing whatever they were before. 
————
Alexia was jealous watching as you listened to everything Irene told you to do. You even took the medicine without complaining. 
“Now all you need is rest; you’ll be better soon." Irene reassured you as she brushed your hair. 
"Gracias, Irene, you should get home to your family; I can take it from here." All Ale got was a look. “Please don’t go all captain on her, not until she fully feels better.” 
“That’s difficult for her,” you whispered, and with one last hug, Irene was out the door. Now it was just you and Alexia. 
“You're an idiot." You looked upset by that statement, making Alexia regret it. “Movie?” “My choice?” “You always choose.” That was true; no matter how many times Alexia told you she was going to choose the movie, it always ended up with you choosing. 
————
“You need to tell me when you're sick, Bebe." You tested your head on Alexia’s shoulder as you scrolled through to find a good movie. 
“Needed to train." “No, the number one thing you need to worry about is your health.” 
“Yes Ale” She wrapped a blanket over you and focused on the movie you chose.
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victoria-grimesss · 8 months
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Call the Doctor, I'm in Love
masterlist
->Paring: Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish x Medic!Fem!Reader
->Words: 2.9k
->Warning: fluff & angst, mentions of injury/wounds
->Summary: Soap has a big ol crush on you, he’s not sneaky or quiet about it. Here are the many times he’s fantasized about you and the one time you answered his dreams.
->A/N: a little something because I love Foap!
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Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish is a pretty guy, a hunk if you will and he knows it. He has no troubles with the ladies and is highly experienced but he always feels like he’s lacking something, someone. Until you came along, pretty new medic. You’re his favorite. He always goes to you for a patch up even waiting for medical help until you come back from break. Johnny is a saint, he is a patient and giving man. 
But he wants you, desperately. He’s got a big fat crush and he’s not quiet about it. The 141 is exhausted hearing about what you did today and that Soap thinks you looked dreamy today, stitching up his arm. He saw you look at him a little extra that means you want to be with him right? They can’t wait until you either reject the poor fool or take him on a bloody date. Here are the times poor Mactavish has swooned over you:
The 1st Time: Your Introduction
Soap has found himself head over heels for you. He first saw you in the medical tent after him and an enemy went headfirst over a steep rockwall, he was fine of course, seems like that guy can bounce back from anything, you had nursed him back to health and he was done for. Your caring words and gentle hands were all he wanted now. And imagine his surprise and excitement when you became the team's new task-force medic.
“Alright team I hope you read over the file, we got a new member to our team. She's going to be our medic but don’t worry she can hold our own on the field. She’s reliable and damn good at her job. We’ve had too many close calls lately and I don’t want anyone dying of something that could have been prevented.”
Price ends his introduction and you greet your way around the room, everyone is nice enough for tuff military men. You find yourself sitting next to John, or Soap, or sometimes Johnny depending on who you ask. He’s a good looking guy, as are the rest in the room but you have a job to do so you don’t plan on messing up your place on the team by intermingling with one of them.
“Aye lass, do you carry one of those stethoscope things around with ya?”
He’s leaning on one arm, checking out the equipment you had brought with you.
“I usually keep it in the office, why is something wrong?”
You’re looking him over for anything obvious but nothing sounds any alarm.
“Ah no, it’s just my heart… it’s acting funny, beats a little faster when you come around.”
He’s smiling and you laugh not expecting a bad pick-up line but seems like he’s that kind of guy.
“I see. Well might want to try working on your cardio then that’ll improve that heart rate of yours.”
He pauses, thinking of what to say next to lure you in.
“You like bars doctor?”
“Not particularly..”
“Would ya mind joining me, I hate drinking alone.”
You smile, amused.
“Why not one of the other boys, someone you’re more familiar with.”
You’re looking into your bag and he drops his head lower so you’ll look him in the eyes.
“I’d like to be more familiar with you bonnie.”
You stop and put your hands on your hips pretending to think.
“Well I’m not so interesting, just a doctor after all. I’m sure Gaz would love to join you, you two seem the best of friends.”
He seems a little discouraged when you don’t play into his game but he looks at the small smile that plays on your lips and knows he’s just gotta keep trying. You won’t shake him off that easily.
The 2nd Time: The Flu Incident
Flu season. Your favorite time of the year, your inner monologue drips with sarcasm as you scrub your hands raw for the sixth time today. It’s late afternoon and the sun dips over the horizon as the rooms are casted with a honey soaked orange glow. The murmurs from the outside hallway peak your interest and you dry your hands and exit to the hall.
“I told you MacTavish I can help you just as easily as any other nurse or doctor, just come into my office and we’ll get you fixed up.” 
An older more seasoned nurse has her hands on her hips, gaze pointed at Soap with a motherly disapproved look at her face. You step out of the room tossing the paper towel into the bin.
“Troubled patient?” 
Soap lifts his head at your voice and he smiles, voice nasally and strained.
“Ah there ya are bonnie, been waiting for you. Think you can fix me?” 
“You’d be in better hands with her you know? Unlike me she knows what she’s doing.” 
Your tone is playful and Johnny stands weakly, hand on the wall.
“Yea but you’re my favorite, can’t feel better unless it’s you.”
The other nurse is called away shooting you a good luck look with her eyes, no doubt happy to not have to deal with the sickly man.
“Alright Johnny whatever you say. Let’s get you to a bed.”
“You’re a real saint hen.”
You place a steady hand on his back leading him to the bed in your office, away from the overflow so he can hopefully get some rest.
“Alright Johnny go ahead and lay down I’ll get your temp and let’s see if we can break that fever alright?”
He groans as he lays down obviously dealing with joint pain from the flu, it’s a nasty one that’s hit the base this time.
You run a washcloth under cool water, grab your thermometer, and sit next to him making sure he’s comfortable. You take his temp and frown, 
“Give it to me straight doctor, am I going to make it?”
He grips your hand dramatically and you laugh while patting his hand.
“I think you’ll just scrape by, it’ll be close though.”
“Oh thank heavens. Guess you’ll just have to take extra close care of me right?”
He’s giving you those stupid puppy dog eyes again as you place the washcloth on his forehead and place the back of your hand on his cheek to feel the temp there as well.
“I guess since I’m part of your team now I’ll have to make sure you live, so yes. I will take extra good care of you.”
You smile at him softly, you don’t like seeing anyone sick but sick Soap reminds you of a kicked puppy.
You miss the way his eyes shine up at you as you chart his info. How the thoughts in his head are those of you and him on dates, what ring he will propose to you with, where you’ll honeymoon and various other daydreams he has swirling around. He would do anything for you to be his, he would capture the stars for you.
You get up from your chair to put his info into the computer and he looks at the sad flowers on the side table, shriveled and needing to be tossed.
“These flowers aren't lookin so good.”
You glance over and frown.
“Oh yeah, it’s been so busy lately I haven't had a chance to replace them yet.”
He hums and you walk back over to him and give him some painkillers and electrolyte drink mix.
“Take these and get some rest please, it’ll do you good.”
He sits up, eyes on you as he takes the pills, handing you the little cup back.
“I’ll get you some new flowers, take you out too.”
You’re facing away from him, a smile gracing your features.
“Johnny, I-”
“You don’t have to say yes now lass, just please, for the sake of my well-being think on it.”
You move over to him and dab the cloth onto his cheeks and cool down his pulse points, heart growing slightly as you reply.
“Sure Johnny, I’ll think about it. Now sleep, doctor's orders.”
He sleeps quietly next to you as you finish your charting. The sight of him so calm warms your heart and it scares you a little bit, you wouldn't want to throw off the balance of the team or make any weird power dynamics by falling for him but he makes it harder and harder. 
The next week fresh flowers are left on the side table.
The 3rd Time: Award Ceremony Ball
Dressed to the nines each of you are. A very successful mission rewarded the whole team with a variety of medals and everyone was looking very nice all cleaned up.
Your dress was a floor gown with a slip up the leg and your back was exposed, the dress felt so silky and it was nice to not be covered in blood for once. Although you did manage to spill some kind of fancy jam on it and you were frantically dabbing at it with water when you were interrupted with Soap meeting up with you.
“Well don’t you look nice.” 
He’s lively tonight, eyes bright with optimism after the job and sporting brand new chest candy to show off.
Your eyes drift up from the new stain on your dress to him and he, well he looks damn good. A new pink scar graces his jawline but it looks good on him, he can wear scars well.
“Thank you, you clean up well yourself too.”
“Ah bonnie don’t make me blush now.” 
The rest of the team is chatting at a nearby table, Price is nursing a short glass of something dark, Gaz is going to town on the amazing food, and Ghost is engaged in conversation with the two of them.
“You wanna head back to the table?”
You offer, he shakes his head and offers his hand.
“I ask the fine lady to a dance.”
You blush, never asked to dance before, the ballroom floor filled with experts, couples swirling to the melody in the air.
You stew on it for a moment, and put your hand in his.
“Ok but if I fall you fall with me okay?”
“Always.”
Your hands are intertwined, one of his is on your waist and yours is on his shoulder. You both try to copy what the others do and the messy dance combined with the flutes of champagne you both consumed makes for quite the site. The mess of bumping feet and unsteady movements.
“For a sergeant you’re rather uncoordinated MacTavish.” Your laugh is light.
“I didn’t go to fuckin dance school, certainly didn’t learn this in the marines that’s for sure. What, did they teach this in medical school?”
“Does it look like they did? I can stitch up a bullet wound but lord help me I can't dance for shit.”
You bump into him again and his grip tightens slightly.
“I got ya bonnie.”
He could be living in a dream right now, you in such a pretty dress adorned in your well deserved medals, him with his. You’re gripping his shoulder and he’s got you in his arms, he can smell your perfume and see the small hairs out of place as the two of you spin but he loves it all the same. He wants it all the same.
“Johnny. Can you hear me?”
He blinks harshly, really sinking back in. You’re not his right now, he can’t take you back to his place after this and kiss each part of you, unzip the dress and let his fingers graze over the skin that's revealed to him. Watch how you move under the moonlight as he touches you just as he imagined. Not yet.
“Yea?”
“I said I think Gaz just devoured his fourth bowl of that dip I wanted to try.”
“Must be good then, should we head over before he finishes it all?”
You laugh and agree.
“Thank you for the dance MacTavish, you made me feel less silly for not knowing what I’m doing.”
His eyes sparkle at your admiration.
“I’m always happy to help.”
The 4th Time: Yes
This mission could not have been more fucked up. Shrapnel flies and bullets whiz by. The air is cold but your body is so hot, on fire from the adrenaline. 
The coms are staticy and choppy but you can make out the team. 
An undercover mission with Soap had you outside a pretty nice villa at dusk. It was meant to pose as a couple on a retreat to gain intel from an organization nearby but all hell had broken loose. You're cornered and Soap had been down to three bullets and you at two until you were able to take down someone else and gain the upper hand.
Communication with the team was hard, they had sent for backup now you just had to wait.
And Soap is shot.
He has taken a bullet for you and you’re frantic. 
“Fuck Johnny, shit.”
He grimaces as you rip your bag off of your back to grab for first aid. It’s not enough though, you had to pack light and it’s not enough.
“Stupid ass job, told them to find a way to get more equipment.”
You’re more muttering to yourself, ripping things out of the small bag you were allotted to patch him up.
“You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”
Johnny laughs and it sends him into a coughing fit, the bullet is in his side. You pray it hasn't done permanent damage but the gravel in his cough scares the hell out of you.
“Hold on Johnny, I’m gonna get you fixed up alright, just stay still.”
A bullet nearly misses your head and he shoots back hitting the guy before clutching his side again.
“You think that’s all of them?”
“Fucking hope so, I need- I have to clean it.”
He’s strong, so strong and sweet and kind and nice and charming and you can’t lose him. 
Not when you know you want him now. That you need him now. 
“Gonna lift your shirt ok? Just watch your breathing.”
“Aye, not even going to take me to dinner first.”
Your eyes are blurry as tears slip down, first one the two.
He wipes them away, his blood smearing onto your face and you choke back a sob.
“C’mon bonnie, don't cry. I hate seeing you cry.”
His voice grows weaker the more he speaks and you beg him to stop, but he rambles. 
He talks about how each morning he wakes up to see if you’re up yet. He waits for you at the gym, always goes to you when he feels unwell, gushes to the rest of the team about you when you’re not around. 
He flirts openly with you and what a fool you’ve been to not reciprocate fully, to reel into him.
The needle breaks his skin and his eyes grow heavy, the blood is still flowing freely and you almost feel it rushing out of you as well.
“I’m so sorry Johnny.”
You stitch and wipe and repeat. It’s a gaping wound and it makes you sick seeing it on him. 
You’re so focused on stitching him you don’t notice when his eyes close. His breathing is shallower now. 
Your eyes race around his face, head now slumped to the side.
You wipe the wound, it’s not good but it should be ok. Heavy on should.
Your hand, coated in blood cups his cheek, shaking.
“Johnny?”
You move his head, it's heavy in your hands and your breathing hurts now.
You get closer, enough to press his forehead to yours and you inhale his smell. 
You hold cloth to his wound to try to stop the bleeding and you whisper promises to him if he will just pull through. 
Your lips are so close to his that when your tears roll down your face they roll off your nose onto his lips.
The hand that cups his cheek feels his pulse on his neck and it’s quiet and slow. It’s so silent here now.
“I’m so sorry Johnny. I love you. Fuck I love you so much I just didn’t want to mess anything up. Please don’t leave yet. 
You lips touch his softly, like if you pressed any harder he would shatter.
“Could have- could have told me all that before I was dying yea?”
He laughs weakly, his smile cracking the corner of his lips. You cup his face fully now, careful to remove your hand from the wound but you applied enough pressure by now the blood has coagulated some. 
“You mean all that?” His eyes are heavy but he still looks at you with that same shining he always did.
“Yes, god yes. I just didn't want to mess up the team dynamic but I don’t care anymore, you just have to pull through alright then let's go out.”
“I like the sound of that.”
Blades of the helicopter sound nearby cutting through the silence.
“Just hold on Johnny we’re gonna get you patched up. Then I want to see you in that suit again.”
“Anything for you bonnie.”
He recovered well with you by his side of course. You dressed his wound properly and gave him a kiss to make it heal faster he would say. Then two weeks later he showed up in a suit with flowers at your office door. The rest is history, but the team is much happier not listening to Soap’s rambling about you but they are happy nonetheless.
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Text
When A Race Track Falls Silent - LN
Summary: Crashes are part of the sport, but it doesn't make it any easier to handle when one happens.
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Every driver knows the risk.
Spa is an especially bad place for crashes. It's been controversial for that exact reason and now it's wet quality.
“Please be careful.” Y/n sighs to her boyfriend who is not so concerned about the qualifying. Lando is one of the best drivers in wet conditions but that doesn’t change the uneasy feeling that Spa sets in everyone’s gut.
“I’m always careful.” Lando smirks while she sighs at him.
“Lando.”
“I’m going to be careful, I promise.” Lando smiles while she sighs and then managing a smile when he kisses her softly. “Just wait, you’re going to have to watch me get to Q3 and destroy the rest of these guys.”
Y/n looks at him with that expression he wishes she never made that just says “BFFR” and he knows she’s right, the McLaren just can’t compete for that pole position.
After a delayed start, they finally get out on the track and most of the cars are on wet tires. The Williams are managing better times on the intermediates and after a few laps of the track drying up a little, nearly everyone is on the intermediates.
By the end of Q1, Norris finishes at P1. But it’s only Q1. Q2 and Q3 have much more importance. He’s almost thriving in these conditions and the anxiety y/n had over his safety is overshadowed by her joy of seeing him do so well. Not that she doubted him but sometimes you can’t help the worry.
Especially in Spa.
Going into Q2, he proves that he has the speed again. Topping the times to the whole teams delight.
However in the brief pause between Q2 and Q3 the rain picks up and they have to put wets back on for the tyre choice.
Lando is in his outlap when Seb is on the radio demanding for a red flag because the track is just too dangerous. There’s puddles everywhere and while y/n is confident in Lando’s ability to get one banker lap in for safety. After all there’s other drivers more likely to cause a red flag or if there’s a red flag called for how bad the rain is.
“Maybe they should red flag.” One of the mechanics states catching y/n’s attention.
Lando starts his flying lap after a radio message of it possibly being “too wet” but he goes for it anyway. Needing that safe lap.
The cameras are focused on Lando and just as he disappears behind the trees from sight of the camera but somethings wrong and when he reappears the car is spinning in a mangled mess that makes y/n’s stomach drop.
The team pause, waiting for some reaction.
He’s moving in the pit, Seb even slows to see if Lando is alright before the medical car gets there to help.
It takes a while, presumable feeling the ache of the impact on his body.
“Come on, Lando. Please. Please.” Y/n whispers to herself before they see him begin to get out of the car and some relief trickles in but not enough for her panic to be eased.
He’s holding his arm. Please please say he hasn’t broke it.
-
Y/n is already waiting at the medical centre when Lando arrives, moving in behind him when he gets sat in a room.
“I don’t want to hear that you told me so.” Lando huffs while she frowns.
“You have a crash like that and you think that my first concern is to say that I told you so?”
Lando sighs knowing he just snapped at her because he’s mad in general, not directly at her.
“I’ll just wait outside.” Y/n mutters since his attitude has at least given her the reassurance that he’s fine.
“No, stay. Please.” Lando murmurs making her hesitate. “Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to take it out on you.”
“Are you ok? I saw you holding your arm.”
“I’m fine. I promise.” Lando smiles before the medic comes in looking at him with a small smile as their gaze flicks over to Lando.
“Alright, let’s make sure nothing is too damaged.” The doctor states and begins checking the driver over.
The conclusion is that he’s a bit bruised but he’ll be fine to race tomorrow. A race that is forecast to be very much burdened by rain. He still goes back to the unit but is given a quick debrief and does some media just to let the world know he’s ok, of course making sure to smile and crack some jokes to really convince them he’s ok. Then he’s sent to the hotel to rest ahead of the race.
Once they’re back at the hotel and Lando decides to take advantage of Y/n’s fussing.
“Mmm…I want some cuddles.” Lando pouts after having showered and dried off then been practically tucked under the duvet. “Come here. Now, y/n.”
His abruptness seems harsh but he’s grinning at her, knowing that she’s trying to make sure he’s ok. She does climb into the bed and sighs softly as she wraps her arms around him and lies her head on his chest.
“I love you, Lando…I think my heart stopped when I saw the way your car was just spinning and…I thought you weren’t moving.” Y/n whispers feeling his arms tighten around her. “I wouldn’t want you to ever give this up but you scared me today.”
“I know. You were the first thing I thought about when I crashed. I knew you’d be worried.” Lando sighs kissing the top of her head. “I’m fine. You know you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“That’s true.”
“And for the record I love you too, far too much to let you move on with some other guy. Especially when I know half the grid would try to snatch you up.” Lando murmurs much to y/n’s amusement.
“So jealous.” Y/n giggles before shifting up to kiss him. “And for the record, I think the trauma of losing you to an F1 crash would be enough for me to not date another driver again.”
Lando hums since that’s a fair decision to make when she puts it like that.
“Now, come on you need to sleep. Race tomorrow and you definitely need rest ahead of it.” Y/n sighs while he hums twirling some of her hair with his finger before mumbling an agreement since she’s definitely not wrong. But he’s also not done obsessing over her.
“I don’t deserve you.” He states actually feeling the heat of her flush from her face on his skin. “And I know you’re always scared of me crashing and getting hurt or you losing me. But I’m scared I might fuck things up with us and you leave…because I don’t want a life without you again. Especially when I know how good I have it.”
“L-Lando.” She sniffles with a tears trickling from her eye as she looks at him. “Are you actually trying to break my heart?”
“I just want you to know how much you mean to me.”
“Mission accomplished. Now get some sleep. I need to know that you’re well rested and focused tomorrow.”
-
She feels a little guilty to be relieved when the race is red flagged so early. It’s not like the FIA aren’t trying to make it work. They’ve have had the cars out on track but it’s just not letting up enough for them to send them out again.
Lando has fallen asleep with his head on Y/n’s shoulder while she rests her head against his and also takes the opportunity to sleep making for more than one shot of the camera catching the moment between the couple.
“Lando, they’re calling an end to it. The race isn’t going to pick up again.” One of the team states making Lando nod pulling his girlfriend over his lap so she’s straddling him before he stands up keeping her legs wrapped up around his waist.
“Christ, what are you doing?” Y/n gasps gripping his shoulders to keep her balance.
“The cameras are focused on the guys on the podium and there’s no point in doing a debrief for a race that never happened. I have some better things in mind.” Lando smirks stopping her from getting down.
“You are insatiable.” Y/n murmurs while he shrugs getting her to his motorhome.
“And I’m not apologising for it.”
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daxerian · 9 months
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Mama y Papa
Carlos Sainz x Reader x Lando Norris
Warnings: my grammar😻, sickness and fluff
Words: around 4k I think
A/n: I am so sorry I was gone for a month but girlie was sick and wanted to spend time with her friends and family🤞🏼
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Y/N was talking to Carmen about life you know? Work, their relationships, family, etc.
It was a pretty deep conversation until they heard "Y/nnnnn?"
Of course, it was Lando asking his 'grid mum' for something to help him with, which was no problem from her side but when she saw Lando holding a bottle of water and looking a bit annoyed, she couldn't help but chuckle.
"Oh, Lando what's wrong?" Carmen asked smiling knowing that the 2 had a mother/son bond that will never be broken.
"I can't open the bottle and I couldn't find Carlos" Lando answered Carmen. "Hand me the bottle darling" Y/N said while waiting for Lando to give her the bottle. She opened it like nothing and handed it back to him, "There you go" Lando just looked at the bottle for a few seconds and then took it, "Thank you Y/N" "No problem Lando"
----
It was around 1 am when Y/N found herself looking at the wall cursing herself out for drinking coffee at 7 pm. At least Carlos is having the time of his life sleeping and clinging to her body.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when somebody decided to call her. She only wondered, who the hell would want to call at this hour? Surprisingly it was Lando, she went into an instant worry in seconds and picked up almost immediately.
"Lando, are you okay?" The worry in her voice was incredible because people wouldn't worry like that when their friends called at night, well that was not the case for Y/N and Carlos Sainz.
"Can you pick me up? I'm near the coffee shop you like and it's freezing and I don't have a jacket or a sweatshirt" Lando answered her, "I'll be there" She hung up the phone a started to wake Carlos up. "Carlos, wake up! Carlos!" once he did wake up he asked his wife "What's wrong mi amor?"
"It's Lando" and that sentence was all it took for Carlos to fully wake up. "Well, why are you still laying in bed? Let's go" Carlos hurried his wife out of bed because if something would happen to Lando he wouldn't survive it. He promised himself that he would take care of him the second he met him.
---
It was the day after the British GP and Lando wasn’t feeling well, was it because he went out clubbing to celebrate? Probably yes.
He tried calling Carlos and Y/N but they weren't picking up, that was the moment Lando accepted his fate. He had to go through the pain alone. Until a miracle happened. Carlos called back.
"Lando, are you okay?" Carlos asked curious, "No, I feel horrible and I've been throwing up" Lando admitted, "You've been what?" it was Y/N's time to ask Lando questions, "Have you taken any sort of medication? You know what, we'll go to the pharmacy and grocery shop so I can make you soup okay?"
Y/N told Lando the plan she created in seconds because there was no way she would let Lando deal with it by himself. Carlos hung up the phone and followed his wife asking her more questions like 'What do we need?' type of questions.
20 minutes later the couple was in Lando's apartment. Y/N made some soup while Carlos had Lando laying in his lap talking to him on the couch. "Lando you will take this after you eat okay?" Y/N showed him the medicine, "Mhm" he answered with this tired tone to his voice which Carlos or Y/N didn't like.
Lando fell asleep on Carlos' lap, and the couple was now having this genuine conversation. "He's like a few years younger than us but acts like a teenager" Y/N couldn't help but chuckle at the last part, "Oy mi amor, he's our son at this point no?" and Carlos was right "Our firstborn!" Y/N added.
---
Carlos, Y/N decided to take Lando with them for their vacation. They decided to visit New Zealand first, and after that, Carlos and Y/N will be going on a big family vacation to Ibiza.
They went to a restaurant because they got hungry and when they arrived Y/N was ready for this;
"Y/N can you please order for me?" Lando asked politely, "Tell me what you want to eat then". "This pasta and this mixed drink please" Lando pointed at the menu while telling Y/N his order, Carlos just sat back and quietly enjoyed the moment because even though Lando is old enough to be enjoying life on his own, he would rather spend it with the people he idolizes. Carlos and Y/N Sainz.
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platinumshawnn · 4 months
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IT’S A BAD DAY | jburrow
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A/N: lol i just tried writing a blurb to ease back into writing and had no ideas, someone help or send requests or ideas
Warnings: none — just fluff involving baby daddy joe being disappointed following his injury in November
word count: 2.2k
“IT’S A TERRIBLE DAY FOR BENGALS FANS AS ZAC TAYLOR ANNOUNCED TONIGHT THAT JOE BURROW WILL BE OUT FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SEASON,” The sports anchor stated over the television in the living room, his tone exaggerated and more over the top than the average person — scripted and unnatural as the words rolled off his tongue. The lock on the door beeped as it released from its latch, allowing Joe to step into the warmth of their shared home with a sigh, head down as he dragged his feet against the rug in the entranceway to wipe any moisture from the soles of his shoes. He used his elbow to push the door closed behind him as he then turned to lock it, eyes being drawn to the tv as the anchorman continued his report, “The head coach confirmed during a press briefing tonight that following an MRI, Burrow was confirmed to have torn a ligament in his right wrist during tonight’s game against the Baltimore Ravens.”
Joe turned his head, a blank look scanning the foyer around him as he listened for some sort of greeting from within the house; his eyes attracted to the pictures that were hung up on the walls as he stepped further into the house. His gaze was particularly drawn to a picture of his girlfriend and him their first Christmas together, blinking a couple of times.
“Hello?” He finally called out. He was met with silence as Joe turned on his heel to look further into the living room, scanning before his gaze stopped on the couch.
He could see the top of her head over the end of the couch from his position in the doorway as he set his duffle bag down by his feet, where from his spot he knew she was asleep; her blue throw blanket pulled over her and up to her chin, unfazed by the tv that had been left on while she slept — he could only assume she had nodded off during the game, maybe even some time during the recaps after their loss that night. The anchorman’s voice was filled with enthusiasm as he broke down some game plays, though the sound and his words were a smear of sounds that he couldn’t comprehend in that moment; he was tired of hearing about the game today, tired of hearing how screwed the team was for the season and his injury — his wrist throbbed at the thought of Zac’s earlier words to him.
“You’re going to bounce back from this one,” he said as the physician carefully turned his wrist, gloved hands palpating and careful as they danced around his wrist; pinching his fingertips, occasionally speaking up to ask Joe where the pain came from, describe it, can you feel when I squeeze your hand? Any numbness or tingling?
“You always bounce back, Joe, don’t worry.”
The side of his left hand was still sore from slamming into the wall in the change room when he returned from the medic office while Zac had stepped out to speak to the physician more, frustrated that he had thrown away another season. That kind of deep, throbbing pain that radiated down his wrist and into his forearm, sore and stiff from clenching his fist so tight his knuckles had turned white. He was drained. His cheeks were flushed with a mottled pink appearance, nose blushed a deep red from the cold as he used his left hand to pull off his hat and clenched it — she was asleep. His head tilted, blue eyes straining in the dark to make out her figure, curled up on the couch even with the dim light from the tv and the table side lamp that he didn’t even want — they got it because she adored the hideous thing when she found it at a thrift shop with its multi coloured, red, blue, white and yellow base that was painted with misshapen flowers; it wasn’t bright but it did the job.
Joe disregarded kicking off his shoes as he quietly walked into the living room, the quiet hum of the reporter still in the background as he circled the couch, eyes on her as he moved like a man on a mission, never leaving her as he stood back a few feet. She remained still and quiet, unaware of his presence as her eyes fluttered in her slumber as her shoulder rose and fell with slow, deep breaths; curled up on her side and hugging the decorative pillow underneath her. The tension in his features was released as he fully stopped in front of her, his jaw unclenching for the first time in hours and eyes softening with admiration as he paused, a mental image being captured of this moment only then before he quietly shuffled forward to crouch at the foot of the couch, his hand pressing into the cushion by her head and turning his head right to align with hers. His right hand, clad in a thick cast, cradled in his lap as he took a moment just to relish in the peace of the moment before he would have to wake her and urge her to come to bed — he couldn’t leave her there, as much as he hated to wake her. His left hand rose to gently brush over her hair, her mouth pinching into a pucker in her sleep as she seemed to respond to the simple touch and furrowing her eyebrows as her disoriented gaze shifted to scan her surroundings for a moment; landing beyond him before they landed on his face, yawning.
“Hi.” He quietly greeted, the hand over her hair brushing back strands from her cheek as she rolled on her back and turned her head to look up at him as she tugged the blanket away from being tangled around her feet.
She yawned once more, “You’re back already.” She stated.
Joe nodded, watching as she slowly moved to sit up, his hand reaching out to support the transition by her shoulder. The blanket fell from her chest to stop at her waist, snug around the bump that had increasingly grown over the past few months, prominent even in the baggiest sweaters these days despite her best efforts; there was no hiding their boy these days. His hand dropped from her shoulder to her belly, fingers splayed out over the firm bump, his eyes following the movement, “Hi to you too.” He quietly added, leaning over the couch to press a kiss to her belly, the fabric of her t-shirt rough under his lips as he withdrew to sit back on the balls of his feet.
Her left hand came to rest over his at her belly, sitting upright and shifting to lean back against the arm rest as she blinked away the sleep from her eyes, her eyes shifting to the tv. A silence passed between them as she seemed to register what had just conspired on tv a few hours prior, bearing witness to the end of his season as she sat up straighter, anxiously awaiting some kind of news; her eyes turned to look back to him. His head turned, shoulders moving with the turn as well as he glanced back at the tv then turned away as he caught the vague mention of his name, gaze dropping to the carpet beneath him.
“What did they say?”
He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the frustration creep back up his chest and up the back of his throat as he inhaled, sucking in a deep breath that he held for a few seconds, “Torn ligament.” He replied.
She nodded as her hand moved from overtop his to reach out and grab his shoulder to pull him forward so he rolled onto his knees; the cradled hand awkwardly planting on the edge of the couch as his head fell forward and pressed his forehead to her stomach, her hand immediately raking through his hair, “We can work with that.” She confidently replied he sat in silence, “You should just need a surgery— they can go in and repair it, rehab, and you should bounce back.” She added, her eyes focused on the back of his head as his shoulders rose and fell with a sigh.
“Another surgery.” He replied, his voice muffled as he spoke in a tone that was laced with defeat; the tension in his shoulders evident as her fingers worked to fix the hair atop of his head. The blonde locks were moved into a smoothed over fashion, as it had previously been done by gel before the game, stood in front of the mirror for all of twenty seconds before he had blown her a kiss goodbye over Facetime and left, optimism and determination in his step.
He lifted his eyes, “Another surgery.” He echoed, her eyes searching his face.
He watched as her mouth pressed into a fine line, the faintest trace of a frown on the corners of her mouth as her gaze took in the sight of him before her — the lines that had settled themselves between his brows, surrounding his mouth and the circles underneath his eyes that held a bluish hue to them, the result of exhaustion.
“You’ll play again, though.” She pointed out, watching as he crumpled against the couch again, his shoulders slumping forward with a slight shudder. “You will, Joe.”
“I know.” He grumbled, his voice small like a child.
“This could be good for you— you could use the rest,” She tried to reason with her boyfriend who was quiet apart from a sniffle in response. “You can spend more time at home with me and the baby, rest and you will be back before you know it.”
Her gaze drifted towards the ceiling, absentmindedly playing with his hair as he sat quietly, soaking in her words; feeling as her belly rose and fell underneath his head with each steady, deep breath she took. That damn reporter was still talking. “Is that all, Doc?” He asked, his voice still quiet but trying to make the effort to follow her attempts to guide him back to the bright side of things — the optimist. He could feel the shake of her body as she laughed underneath him.
“Yeah, I think so.” She replied, taking a deep breath. “Rest and some good quality time with your beautiful, intelligent girlfriend and your baby boy.” She added.
Joe hummed, eyebrows furrowing as he took a deep breath that mirrored hers before sighing it out and raising his head to look at her again. She turned to look at him as though she had sensed his eyes on her, a small smile on her face, “I just hate the recovery process of these things.” He admitted, earning a nod in turn.
“I know.” She said, her tone almost holding a hint of amusement as if to echo his earlier response to her attempts to reason with him. A tired smile appeared on his face, letting out a laugh that sounded more like a scoff as he sniffled and used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe his nose.
“We should get you to bed.”
Her gaze followed him as he moved to stand and held out his hands to her — an instinctive offer of assistance as he stood in front of her, watching as she struggled with a grunt to sit back up and swing her legs off the couch, bracing her feet against the hardwood floor beneath them. Her eyes shifted to glance at the cast, watching as he reluctantly dropped the right hand, before looking up and reaching out for his left to grip as he aided in pulling her with ease to her feet — and without pause, her arms extending up to wrap around his shoulders as she exhaled a deep breath once she was up, a sound that resembled a content sigh.
“You know we love you regardless, right?” She asked, half-lidded eyes tiredly scanning his features with a look of love and affection in her eyes as his arms encircled her waist and rested his hands at her hips; the cast awkwardly inhibiting the action — he towered over her, his shoulders slouched to accommodate the height difference between them. “James and I love you regardless of how broken you are, you’re amazing — with or without football.” She softly said.
His left hand rubbed up and down her side, having to swallow down the emotion that crept up his throat once again as she spoke, his eyes squeezing shut as they stung with oncoming tears, “Yeah.” He whispered, nodding.
“You will overcome this, you always do.” She said, leaning up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. There was a certainty in her tone that he admired — she never seemed to second guess herself and he adored that confidence, his eyes opening and blinking rapidly a couple of times before he nodded. She awkwardly wobbled to reach behind him and gather the remote, turning off the tv behind him and setting the remote back down on the couch with a toss. Her arm linked with his while her other hand rested against her hip, inhaling and rolling her shoulders, “Come, you look like you need some sleep.” She encouraged, her eyes down on her feet as she began to lead the pair towards the stairs to the second floor; his gaze on her with a look of adoration, grateful for the grace she possessed even when he lacked it.
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kimberly-spirits13 · 1 month
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Jason Todd During Your Period
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Sweetest thing
Feels so bad that you feel bad and does anything humanly possible to alleviate the pain
He knows how to handle periods since he has all the batgirls and he had to take care of his mom when he was younger
He’s the kind of boyfriend where you can just be like “hey when is my next period?” And he’d know off the top of his head
Won’t blame you for any outbursts or anything and he tries his best to not annoy you
If you get nightmares or really funky dreams on your period that wake you up, he always wakes up to make sure you’re okay
Becomes a light sleeper during your period in anticipation that you wake up and need something or are basically dying
Specifically ordered you two of those massive heating pads and let’s you lay on top of him with them
One heating pad for the back and one stomach
It’s a miracle tool yall
It’s the kind of thing where you finally get settled and you cry because it’s so amazing
NOT BEING IN PAIN AND BEING ABLE TO SLEEP IS WONDERFUL
He’d feel so bad if that happened though because he’d realize how bad you really felt in the moment
He knew you were struggling but it always hurts him to see you in pain
Stocks up on pain killers
Makes you your favorite food and brings your favorite food home from patrol because let’s be honest
No girl is sleeping on her period without her comfort 🤚
He’ll take as many naps with you as you want and do a spa day
*face mask on and hair mask in* “no Dick I’m not on patrol tonight, I’m busy.” “
Knows exactly what to get at the store if you ask him since he had to get stuff for his mom
Will bring back chocolate or whatever your favorite snack is
Let’s be honest, chocolate gets boring after about a day
Holds you while you’re in pain
Makes sure to call you often when he’s on patrol go check in, especially if you’re benched from patrol for the week because of it
Is mostly calling for himself to make sure you’re not dying or anything
Gets medical advice from Alfred
Is genuinely afraid you’ll become anemic or something if he thinks you’re losing too much blood
You two are experts at getting blood out of things so don’t even worry about it
Let’s you wear all of his clothes and takes up doing the chores since you’re probably bloated and swelling
Kisses your cheek and forehead a lot if you’re not feeling well
Does anything you need to feel better
His guilty pleasure is when you’re on your period and are craving carbs because he really really loves carb loading but can’t do it often
Bagels, pasta, pizza, crackers, cinnamon rolls, anything carb
If you start running a fever he freaks out a bit but has enough experience to know you’re not dying
Puts an ice pack on your forehead and gets advil for you
Stocks up on ice cream if that’s your thing
Excuses himself and you from any galas and makes sure the paparazzi isn’t around
Probably threatens them or something who knows
Has one of his sisters come over to give you company if you need some girl time
If you want to you’ll 100% be welcomed to just sit in the bat cave during patrol and help monitor
The entire week or two is just Jason doting on you more than usual
He’d wrap you in a blanket burrito and carry you everywhere
Is very touchy when you don’t feel well so he latches himself onto you
Movie marathons
I watch Law and Order and lots of crime documentaries when I’m on my period for some reason and he’d 100% binge those
Has fuzzy socks for you
They’re probably funky colorful ones that he thought were funny and got them for you one day to cheer you up
Won’t let you talk bad about yourself
If you call yourself yuck or gross or fat or anything he’d smother you with his entire body
Not today Satan
Praises from him are the best let’s just keep it at that
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