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#and about not really being good with this whole relationship thing
yuujispinkhair · 20 hours
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Yakuza King!Sukuna lives a dangerous life. That's why he only wants you to leave his penthouse with your bodyguard. But what if you crave a treat from your favorite shop just down the street and go on your own?
Based on this lovely ask I received from @subarusuguru. Thank you so much for sharing it with me!! ♥️
Pairing: Yakuza!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: smut + fluff Word Count: 900 Warnings: 18+, smut, spanking + pussy spanking, edging, fingering, dirty talk, use of the pet name daddy. It isn't explicitly stated in this story, but Sukuna and Reader are in an established relationship and have a safe word, etc. Everything happens with mutual consent. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear
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Yakuza!Sukuna loves you. He loves you so much. You are his whole world, and he needs to protect you, especially when he has so many enemies because of his line of work.
Usually, Sukuna enjoys a little disobedience when it comes from you. He loves to tease you about being a brat and enjoys playfully putting you back in your place. But things are different when he is actually worried about you like he is tonight after finding out you went to a shop all alone, without one of Sukuna's drivers, and even worse, without your bodyguard.
Sukuna knows that he is to blame, too, because he didn't want to scare you and, therefore, didn't tell you how grave the threat is at the moment. But he still can't stop himself from spiraling when he hears you so foolishly went out on your own. 
"This has to stop. If I tell you not to leave the house on your own, you will be a good girl and stay inside. And if you really need to leave, you will call Nobara. Do you understand that?"
He can see you gulp hard when you hear how stern he sounds. His maroon eyes, which are usually so warm when they look at you, are cold and hard right now. Tonight, the man sitting across from you isn't just your charming and loving husband. Tonight, you are talking to the King of Tokyo's Underworld, and he will do what he has to do to ensure you stay safe.
That's why Sukuna pats his lap and points an elegant tattooed finger to his fine black suit pants.
"Come here. I will make sure you remember to do as I tell you from now on."
You squeal when he grabs you and bends you over his lap, lifting your skirt and pulling your pretty lace panties down. And you squeal even louder when Sukuna's large hand connects firmly with your juicy ass cheek.
You make a cute sound, a mix between a hiss and a moan, when Sukuna spanks you again, several times in a row, before he uses his other hand to spread your pussy lips and watch the glistening wetness gathering there, your arousal so evident. You are breathing heavily when Sukuna runs a teasing fingertip over your creamy folds before he pinches your wet little clit, eliciting a loud gasp from you.
"I am doing this for you, darling. Don't you understand that I need to protect you? The Zenins are out there, trying to take everything from me. What do you think will happen if you run into them?"
You whimper softly, and Sukuna kneads the plump flesh of your naked ass cheek before he pulls his hand away and adds in a low, stern voice, emphasizing every word,
"That's why," his palm connects firmly with your naked ass again, "you have to," another firm spank, "learn how to obey me."
Sukuna wishes he didn't have to do this. He doesn't want to bend you over his knees like this and spank you like some naughty brat.
He doesn't want to tease you for hours like this, torturing you with pleasure and pain. Rubbing your swollen clit, and occasionally pushing a finger into your tight wet cunt, pumping it in and out of your obscenely squelching wetness, only to pull away again anytime he feels you beginning to tighten around him.
He doesn't want to punish you, making you whine loudly when he lets his large palm connect firmly with your spread pussy.
Sukuna doesn't want to spank and edge you until you are a crying, needy mess who promises him over and over again that you won't leave the penthouse on your own again.
"Please, Sukuna! Please...I... please... I won't go out on my own again! Please, please let me cum, Daddy! I'll be your good girl!"
Sukuna hates having to use his power and strength like that. But he also knows that pain is a good way to ensure a lesson is learned. And at least this is a pleasurable pain, judging by the way you mewl when he pushes two long fingers deep into your soaking wet cunt and fucks you hard and deep with them, torturing your g-spot unrelentingly while his other hand spanks your sensitive flesh.
Your whole body shakes as you cum all over his long fingers that are stuffing your cunt while Sukuna's other hand connects hard with your ass again, spanking and fingering you to an orgasm that makes you cry out loudly.
Sukuna lets out a long breath. The hand that spanked you is brushing gently over your abused skin now, caressing it lovingly, while he slowly fucks you through your orgasm. His voice is low, sensual, and full of love,
"Yes, just like that, sweetheart. You can be so good for me when you want. And I hate having to act like such an asshole. I love you, darling. I just want you to be safe. Do you understand that?"
He smiles when you answer him with a voice thick with tears but also filled with that sweet euphoria you always get after Sukuna made you cum.
"Hmm, yes, I know. I'm sorry for being so reckless, Kuna. I love you too."
You scramble to get up, and Sukuna quickly helps you, wrapping his strong arms safely around you and pulling you up so you straddle his lap, your wet cunt soaking his fine suit pants.
You smile at him and wrap your arms around his neck,
"But, next time, just tell me the whole truth, so I know how dangerous things are at the moment. You shouldn't keep these things from me, baby. I can take it, you know?"
Sukuna's lips lift in an amused smirk, his large hands sprawling over your naked ass, pulling you closer, his lips ghosting over your neck. He presses a tender kiss to your pulse point while lifting his hips to let you feel the large, hard bulge in his pants, his throbbing cock pressing against your hot wet cunt, only separated by the soaked-through fabric of his suit pants and boxer briefs.
"First, show me how you can take Daddy's cock, and then I will tell you everything."
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FUCKKK I NEED HIM!!!! Yakuza!Sukuna still manages to make my head spin, and I am so happy I could indulge in this!! Thank you so much for the prompt!! And thank you so much for reading!!
Comments and reblogs would be very sweet ♥️♥️
You can find more Yakuza King!Sukuna stories here
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haetrack · 2 days
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did i hear mark request…
it’s late, you and mark have been spending the last week studying in the library every night for a big final. ur brain’s exhausted and u’ve been losing focus every now and again for the last hour but these last 15 mins, u’ve spent being distracted at how good mark looks next to u, extremely focused and determined to get through these practice papers. so u wanna see how long he can stay concentrated and quiet with ur hands all over him - he’s not quiet though this man is gonna moan and whine in ur ear like his life depends on it
(tbh i just wanna give this man a handjob in public and watch him finish)(he’s so hot)(i need him so bad)(maybe edge him a little too idk)
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req 5: mark lee x afab!reader
wc: 2.7k
warnings: smut (MDNI!), public sex in a library, handjob, edging (HOORAY)
a/n: THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL… HE SO… HES SONSNDMFK
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you’ve been sitting at the library with mark for hours. the words of the article in front of you begin blurring together, none of it is really clicking, none of it bothering to stick in your head. you could recite the whole study guide and its answers by now. you just keep getting distracted. every time you look over at mark, you lose focus.
you can’t help but let your mind drift, can’t help but think about doing a little more than kissing with him.
you and mark have been together for five months. still a fairly new relationship, and you are happy to call him your boyfriend. he’s sweet, attentive, funny, and cute, but you can’t help but wish for one thing. since you’ve gotten in a relationship, you haven’t really done anything but kiss. which is fine, but it always leaves you on edge.
you can tell he gets needy too, his hands wandering, groping around as he licks into your mouth. you can feel him try not to subtly grind into you, keeping you firmly sat on his thighs as he kisses you. it’s not something you can complain about, but it’s been sitting in your mind for too long.
even now, late at night at your school’s library, your bored mind is not safe from these thoughts. you look at him through the corner of your eyes, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes focused on the practice problems he was given to by his professor. his bites down on his bottom lip, fingers messing with the corner of the page as he tries to remember what to do.
he’s not even doing anything crazy, but here you are lusting over mark while you two are studying. it’s been like this for a whole week, your boyfriend inviting you out to study with him for finals week. are you in the same class he’s in? no, but you will be there for him whenever he asks. you also get a bonus of seeing him like this.
during the first part of the week, you actually did study. you both focused on your own work, took small breaks with each other, then went back to studying. it eventually evolved to you staring at scans of your textbook, eyes occasionally glancing to mark. tonight is worse, you can’t stop staring at him.
you check the time, nearly midnight. you look around and find a few other students, either dozing off or intensely doing their work. none of them are aware of their surroundings, none would see you in the small secluded corner you both are in. you shift a little in your seat, squeezing your thighs together to calm yourself down.
you let out a long groan, which catches mark’s attention. he tears his eyes away from his paper, amusement in his eyes as he presses a kiss to your temple. it takes everything in you to not throw yourself in his lap right there. instead, you place a hand on his thigh as you kiss him back. he lets out a small sigh at the touch, eyes closing from the feeling.
you pull away from him, hand still on his thigh as you look at him. his eyes are still lingering on your lips, pretty and swollen from the kiss. a quiet laugh leaves you, “how much more do you have left?”
“not a lot,” he huffs, “it’s just, i legit don’t think i can do them anymore.”
you smile at him, scooting your chair close to his, leaning your head on his shoulder, “want me to take a look?”
“well, do you know how to do this?” he points to his paper, an equation that shouldn’t make sense to anyone currently being shown to you.
“i’m not as smart as you, but i will be your personal cheerleader.” you press a kiss to his neck, enjoying how he shivers at the contact. you press a few more kisses until you reach his jawline, your hand squeezing around his thigh. he doesn’t try moving, eyes fixed on how your thighs squeeze together.
when you move your hand higher, his hand shoots down to your wrist. you think he might move it away, telling you he doesn’t want to do this here. you’d apologize quickly, choosing to do your work as you hold his hand.
he doesn’t though, he holds your wrist there, a tight hold around your skin.
you move to put your head on his shoulder again. your fingers trace light patterns over his sweats. his leg begins bobbing up and down, waiting to see what you might do next. you’re almost surprised to see mark letting you go this far. you can feel the heat from his face, and you can see how his chest rises quickly.
you’re not sure if you want to initiate this here, but as you see mark squirm in his seat, you realize you might have to do something. you want him to tell you that he wants this. under the guise of being tired, you shut your eyes, exhaling while your hand continues to warm his thigh. you don’t want to pressure him into this, giving him the option to ignore you if he wants.
he tries. he tries to look at his paper again, trying to recall what he’s supposed to do. maybe he’d be able to figure it out if it weren’t for how close your hand was to his hardening cock. he’s not sure if it’s because of how frustrated he is or it finally dawned on him how pent up he is, but he needs you.
he lets out a shaky breath, your hand not moving from his spot. he shifts a little in his seat, moving your hand a little further up. it’s not where he needs you, but the feeling of your fingers tracing along his sweats has his cock twitching. he’s about to ask you to do something, but you beat him to it.
“do you need help with that, mark?”
he feels your gaze on his now too tight sweats, hard and begging for your touch. he bites back a groan when your fingers trace over the outline of his cock, squeezing at the tip. this the most you’ve ever touched him, and it’s getting to his head too fast. he bites down on his bottom lip, too scared to open his mouth.
there was a reason to all the times he’s pushed you off of him. he was so embarrassed, every time you kissed him on his lap, he couldn’t help but get so close to cumming. you weren’t doing anything intentional, but the feeling of your lips on his, the softs sounds you made, and the feeling of you on top of him sent a rush to his head.
for you to be so close to him, yet not where he needs you is enough for him to buck his hips into your hand. he lets out the smallest gasp. your lips graze his ears, “tell me what you want mark, i’ll give you anything you need.”
“want you to touch me, want you to touch my…” you can hear him swallow, “t-touch my cock, please.”
your hand teases the band of his sweets, messing with the drawstrings, “anything for you, markie.”
your hand finally slips under his sweats and boxers, hand slowly wrapping around his hard cock. this is better than any of your fantasies, feeling how he throbs in your hold. you let him sit with the feeling for a bit, you grip tightening around his length. he lets out a hiss, quickly covering his mouth when he realizes he’s still at the library.
your fingers move to glide over his tip, spreading the precum around, “guess you’ll have to be quiet, right?”
he nods quickly, eyes shaking when he looks down to see your hand in his pants, right where he needs you. he tries not to seem too eager, tries not to look like he was currently being touched in the middle of a library. his eyes scan the room, everyone else too busy to be looking at them.
when your hand starts moving along his length, he turns to look at his paper, trying to look busy. his hands are gripping onto the table, knuckles turning white as he feels you touch him for the first time. it’s not the most ideal place, but he’s too pent up too care at this point.
your hand feels nice around him. it’s not like hasn’t gotten a handjob before, but you’re the one touching him this time. 
he’s not sure if it’s because he can see how affected you’re getting by watching him or how good your hand feels wrapped around his cock, but he’s close to cumming. it hasn’t even been that long, he swears that he usually isn’t like this. he bites down hard on his tongue, one of his hands wanting to cover his mouth to stop any moans from coming out.
you noticed how quiet he’s being, and you can’t have that. you know he must be close to cumming, his length throbbing in your hold. you slow your movements, whispering so only he can hear, “mark, won’t you tell me how good it feels? wanna hear how good you feel.”
he shakes his head, cheeks turning pink as he tries to figure out what to do. all he can think about is how close he is, how warm you feel as you lean against him. when he doesn’t answer, you tighten your grip around him, thumb teasing his tip. his whole body shakes, ready to fill his sweatpants with cum.
“mark,” you whine out, “are you close to cumming? aren’t you gonna tell me that you’re close?”
his mouth stays shut, his hips bucking up. his tip is heavily leaking, eyes closed as he fucks into your hand. you can’t believe you get to see him like this, get to see him try and hold back how good you make him feel. it’s when he lets out a small whine of your name when you pull your hand away from him.
he immediately turns to look at you, grabbing your wrist, trying to put together a sentence that makes sense. you let out a small laugh, swatting away his hands that reach for yours. you pout, “you didn’t wanna tell me that i was making you feel good.”
he whisper-shouts at you, “that’s it? i-i could’ve cum… please. just let me- let me try one more time.”
“hm… you still have work to do, right? focus on your work, mark.” you press a kiss to his cheek, leaning back against your chair.
mark stares hard at you, cock still hard in his sweats as he tries to see if you’ll touch him again. in fact, you gesture for him to keep working, eyes watching as he huffs. he turns back to the worksheets, mind too hazy to do any work now. he taps his pencil onto the page, nothing seems to come to mind.
a few minutes pass, mark calming down when he looks at his notes. the problem starts to make sense, slowly writing down the steps to the problem. he tries not to think of you too much, realizing just how quiet you’re being. he knows you can’t stay still for long, waiting for any move you might make.
before he knows it, your hand slithers down into his sweats, fingers lightly moving across his cock. he’s half-hard, beginning to twitch as you make a fist around his length. before he can turn all his attention, you grab him by the shoulder, “keep doing your work, mark. finish your work and i’ll let you cum.”
he nods, but you don’t start moving. you look at him in the eyes, your hand tightening around him, “need to hear you tell me. wanna hear you make some noise.”
he gulps, his whole body feeling hot, “i’ll… i’ll try.”
you make a small noise in excitement, hand finally touching him again. you watch as he puts all his focus on the paper in front of him, not writing anything down. he’s blankly staring at it, licking his lips as his eyes threaten to close. you move your hand faster, tightening your fist when you reach his tip. he’s losing himself quickly, letting out small noises at the feeling.
you push into his side, “do your work, mark. don’t want anyone looking over here and finding that mark lee is currently getting jerked off in the library.”
he lets out a gasp, hands shakily picking up his pencil. he can’t control himself, hips moving on their own as he tries to stop himself from making too much noise. he can feel your expectant stare, just waiting for him to make a sound. it’s when you tighten your fist around his base, slowly sliding up to his tip that he lets out a quiet moan of your name.
you sit up a little further, now fully watching his face as he tries to hide from you. his face is scrunched up, his hips now fucking your hand. he doesn’t care anymore, not when you’re making him feel so good, not when he can feel his orgasm quickly building up.
“f-fuck, your hand feels good. just-” he lets out a small whimper, “keep going, baby.”
happy with his response, your hand moves faster. you can hear the slight squelch of it, his precum helping you glide against his cock. mark looks fucked out, face red as he keeps moving. he can’t help but pretend he’s fucking your pussy, can’t help but wonder if this is how it feels to have you wrapped around him. once finals are over, he will definitely be having sex with you.
you can’t help but let out a whimper yourself, enjoying watching mark fall apart way too much. you bite down on his earlobe, “wanna feel you cum all over my hand. wanna make you feel good, mark.”
he leans back, whining in your ear, “y-yeah, gonna cum all over you. wanna- wanna show you how good you’re doing.”
one of his hands makes it to your thigh, squeezing it for support. he’s losing control, low groans leaving his mouth as you jerk him off. his hips lift off the chair, choosing to full-on fuck your hand. he looks so good right now, and you think he might finally deserve what he wants. you let out a whisper, “cum for me, mark. wanna see you cum.”
mark doesn’t need to be told twice. his hips buck into your hand, his hand around your thigh tightening as he lets out a fuck, a low groan filling the air around you. he feels so gross as he lets go in his sweats, cum shooting out into your hold.
when you feel his cum spurt into his hand, you wrap an arm around him, letting him lean into your touch. he shoves his head into your shoulder, not caring about the loud whines he lets out as he cums in your hand. there’s a lot, his thighs beginning to shake as you help him ride out his orgasm. 
he pushes your hand away at the feeling of overstimulation, you laugh as you slide your hand out. your hand is covered in his cum, and you bring it up to your mouth. mark watches with heavy eyes as you suck your cum-stained fingers, watches how you practically moan out at the taste of his cum. he almost gets hard again, his cock begging for your attention. 
you laugh at him, quite loud in the quiet space of the library. someone shoots you an ugly look before sticking their nose back to their laptop. you and mark giggle together, hushed in the secluded corner you’ve been in.
“out of all the noises you were making, they decided to get mad at me for laughing?”
mark has to slap a hand around his mouth to stop anymore laughs, “i wasn’t even being that loud! you looked like you were enjoying it more than i was!”
you shove at his shoulder in embarrassment, “that’s what happens when you run away from me when we make out!”
“i’ll make sure it won’t happen again.” he goes to hold your clean hand, “now, can i, uh- can you teach me how to…”
he makes some weird gestures, and by the looks of it, he wants to try to eat you out. you smile at him, “of course, mark.”
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squishytenya · 2 days
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Hey Do you remeber your Tenya and Aizawa ask, with y/n Crying? What about some of the other casts like Katsuki or Ejiro?
if you dont mind please and thank you
They Make You Cry Headcanons
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I lowkey had to search my own blog for this but I found it! thanks for the request <3
Pairings - Bakugou x gn!reader, Kirishima x gn!reader + Kaminari x gn!reader
Warnings - arguments, cursing, crying
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Katsuki Bakugou
▹part of being in a relationship with Katsuki is dealing with his harsh personality. Even if he does calm down the older he gets, it's still probably not to the same extent of a normal human being.
▹he probably would be completely speechless the moment you started crying after an argument - straight up would not know how to respond to that.
▹his eyes would go wide and he would go to take a step towards you and then bring himself back, holding his arm to himself.
▹"hey... don't do that"
▹for all his faults Katsuki is, deep inside, a good person and he knows this is the kind of shit you lose relationships from and he really really doesn't want to lose you.
▹ but he does know he can be a bit much and he probably takes a while to come down from whatever he's feeling so he just kinda leaves for a few minutes
▹ he comes back with a cup of tea and perches gently on the bed next to you, avoiding eye contact
▹he would do his best to spit out an apology, but it's not something that would come naturally to him. Seeing your face crumple like it did is still replaying in his mind and he knows he has to fix this somehow - so he does his best to explain himself
▹eventually he would just stop rambling and take your hand in his, squeezing it gently.
▹"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you"
▹ he'd just sit by you, hand in his until you were ready to talk to him and talk over what had led to the argument in the first place and he really does take your words to heart about what upset you
▹he'd try to cut down on raising his voice and try to cut out teasing nicknames entirely, unless he knew you were okay with them already
▹a sweet guy really
Eijirou Kirishima
▹I cannot see Kiri upsetting you on purpose, even during an argument he isn't the type to yell or get super angry with you
▹him making you cry is most likely a complete accident on his part, or even him accidentally playing into an insecurity you have without properly thinking about it
▹when your relationship first started out, I think he probably didn't understand you might not be comfortable with the things he's comfortable with, especially during social situations
▹ also probably doesn't understand others might read his kindness as flirting, so when you two are invited to a hero party to socialise and he pretty much ignored you the whole night, he had no idea why you began tearing up on the way home
▹obviously, he's worried about why you're crying and what he did! and how he can fix it is at the forefront of his mind almost immediately after noticing
▹and when you explain it to him, he pretty much crumbles straight away - he is in disbelief that he made you feel that way
▹he falls over himself explaining that he didn't mean to make you feel that way, he was just overwhelmed by the pressure of hero society and got caught up
▹Kiri is very good at admitting when he is wrong, and puts a lot of effort into having healthy communication in his relationships - platonic or otherwise
▹pulls over the car literally just so he can hold both of your hands in his and make eye contact as he explains his actions, specifically so you understand he's being genuine
▹"I'd never do that to you on purpose, you're the most important person to me"
▹after your sniffles have subsided, he pulls you into a hug and promises never to do something like that again - and you bet he keeps his promise!!!
▹takes you to get food too, just as an extra apology and you sit in the car park eating ice cream together - he makes sure you're the center of his attention the entire time <3
Denki Kaminari
▹oh he's so stupid. he's so lovely, but so, so stupid.
▹honestly he probably says something insanely embarrassing in front of your friends and pays no attention to how that might make you feel, especially if you're close to these people
▹doesn't even notice when the room goes completely silent and nobody is talking but him, it takes one of his friends clearing their throat for him to notice your eyes filling with tears
▹in his defense, he does try to explain himself straight away and takes you into another room to have the conversation (at the very least) but it takes a little bit more explaining to him why his actions would upset you
▹doesn't really get it at first but you explaining, and your face as you cry, makes his heart hurt and he tries to rectify his actions as soon as he can
▹the first thing he thinks to do in that moment is bundle you up in his arms and rock the both of you back and forth to calm you down, which works a little more than you'd like to admit
▹runs his hands over your back, up and down, until your breathing evens out - does not give a shit about anyone outside of you two in that moment
▹once you've stopped crying, full on apology - hands and knees!
▹he seems genuinely heartbroken to have embarrassed you and takes full responsibility for what he did
▹ kicks everyone else out of the house and spends the rest of the evening making it up to you and reminding you of how important you are to him and just how sorry he is
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I hope these were good! I haven't written in ages so this'll be the first comeback headcanons, hope you guys enjoyed it <3
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sidsinning · 15 hours
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#1 thing I am the most curious about/eager for the series to explore is 1000% the Morningstar family, especially Lilith
Bc who even is Lilith in reality besides what we have seen her as in the eyes of the other characters
Clearest image we get of her is in their family portraits
We usually see her as the menacing mystery figure working in the background, but in these photos she's clearly a normal happy mom who genuinely loves her family as any mother/wife would. She's not just a smirking dominant figure with a hidden agenda. All she's doing is having fun with her family and has no qualms about showing a range of emotion.
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Charlie sees her as the role model she takes after and wants to make her proud. It turns out she sees Lucifer in pretty much the same light, but with the addition of having an awkward relationship bc of the distance they've had. With Lilith she never speaks about her with any lingering awkwardness, so we can assume she's been a good mom raising Charlie this whole time.
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(For those who are saying "Lilith is a bad mom bc who leaves their kid alone for 7 years???"- she is literally thousands of years old while Charlie is well into adulthood before those 7 years. It's like a business trip to them. She wasn't an absentee parent for leaving for 7 years out of Charlie's 200+. The thing that's weird is that she's not communicating with Charlie. Our girl deadass owns property with a job and employees. Just bc she's not great at it and is having Lucifer step in to help recently, doesn't make Lucifer the superior parent suddenly. He's confirmed to be a kind of shitty dad despite how much he cares for her by the creators themselves. Kind of the point of his introduction ep guys. The 7 years are a mystery to unpack. Chill tf out.)
In this flashback people are blaming Lilith for separating Lucifer and Charlie on purpose, seemingly as the cause of their distant relationship. But it feels more complicated than that, based off Lucifer's reaction.
He's sad reaching out to Charlie by the end of the flashback, but when Lilith first appears he's smiling all the same and not deterred in giving Charlie to Lilith to carry away for what reason we don't know. A normal, standard occurrence he's used to. It seems both parents have agreed it's best for Lilith to take Charlie at this age now, for whatever reason.
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Was his mental health affecting his parenting too much so they decided Lilith would shoulder the bulk of the task? Maybe Lilith really did separate the two somehow for her own reasons and convinced Lucifer with it? Another mystery reason each parent agree on?
When exactly did both of them separate? When Charlie was already an adult or around the time of the flashback when Lilith was her primary caretaker as a kid? (I'm assuming adulthood since Lucifer and Lilith seemed to still be getting along in the flashback despite her emotionless face.) Why did they separate when Lucifer seems to clearly love and yearn for her all the same, still wearing his wedding ring? 😭😭😭
And ofc what is this deal she made with Adam to stay chillin on a beach in heaven, and why did Adam, a reckless narcissist who likes yappin to whoever is gonna listen, not ever reveal this fact to her family to the very end?
There is just so much to unpack with their family and Lilith is the key ingredient rn to unlocking it
Like ofc I'm looking forward to Sir Pentious in heaven, Alastor's deal, the future of the rebuild hotel, Lucifer now being a seemingly main character in season 2, etc.
But the Morningstars,,,different level
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sunflower-lilac42 · 2 days
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✧ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐎𝐮𝐭 | trevor zegras ♔
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summary: when the news is out between trevor and jack's sister, things take a turn for the worse.
warnings: media, being exposed
notes: two fics in one day? one week? I'm a changed person. this is very based off of red, white and royal blue because i love that movie with my whole soul. it's so good, i highly recommend it. anyway, this is it for the fics i had planned so I'm going to focus on my three au's for the rest of the week but if another fic comes out don't be surprised. let me know if you want a part two because i would be glad to write it | add yourself to the taglist ➺ taglist!
nhl masterlist | main masterlist
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Nothing was how it should be. They were supposed to be careful, they were careful. They were only seen together when it would make sense for them to be together; when he was in town for a game, when he was supposed to be hanging out with her brothers, or when he had a game against the Devils or the Canucks. And when they were seen together, they made sure everything was strictly platonic, no hand touches, no stolen glances, no nothing.
However, maybe they should’ve accounted for the fact that one, her friends were journalists, and two, her friends weren’t really her friends in the first place. They had a few classes together in college, back when she was still undecided, but despite that? They only found her interesting because of her last name and who shared it.
Somehow she was too predictable, her password was as basic as it got. It was the day Trevor asked her to be his girlfriend, they’re anniversary. It was the best day of both of their lives but now it was the root of all their problems. It wasn’t the biggest scandal on the dance floor, there were things much worse going on in the NHL and the world in general. No one would care about this besides the Zegras and the Hughes families and the girls who were too obsessed with hockey players and their relationships for their own good.
She was studying abroad in England this past year and she couldn’t help but fall in love with it. She had decided to extend her stay into the fall semester, not wanting to go back home. This sort of worked in her favor, she was 3,444 miles from Jack and Luke and 4,632 miles from Quinn. She was in a different time zone, country, and continent than them. All she had to do to avoid them was not answer her phone. 
She was good at that, blocking out social media and her phone as a whole. Growing up the sister of hockey players and her mom being who she was in the hockey world, she got used to the hate and backlash she got from not wanting to do hockey. Her phone was shut off and thrown into her desk drawer. Her friends tried to comfort her but were to no avail, she was too worried about what other people thought about it.
Not only had pictures of them been put out into the world but their text messages as well. However, she couldn’t remember a time she left her phone unattended. She hadn’t spoken to Trevor in two weeks, she hadn’t spoken to anybody besides her roommates in two weeks. She had seen a couple of articles and videos that were spreading, the one of Trevor’s interviews where he was addressing the situation was not only the biggest one but the most recent one. 
It was before the game, that the reporter had asked him about how everything in the media that was speculating had impacted him and his play. To which he responded with, “Y/n and I are together and have been since the beginning of the season. And whether people choose to support or hate it, isn’t my problem nor my business. We’re happy and hope everyone can support that decision and respect our privacy. I fell in love with a girl who happens to be related to my best friend. How is this affecting my mindset? I wouldn’t say it has, I’m still planning, and Greg still thinks I’m playing as best as I can and even better. I’m worried about her, that’s for sure. She hasn’t had the best track record with the media.”
He said a few more words, none of which mattered to y/n. She wasn’t sure if she cried more because of what he said or the situation. She curled up on the chair in the corner of the room, reading a book. Her friends looked at her sadly, they hated the fact that she had gone back to her reserved nature. 
Trevor on the other hand was acting like it wasn’t bothering him, he couldn’t hide himself from the media or anything really like she could. But, it was eating him alive. He didn’t know if she was okay or if something had happened or if she was ignoring him. He was too desperate to know if he was okay so he attempted to reach out to all three of her brothers but he got nothing back in return.
It wasn’t until Mason walked into his room with his phone in hand, “I called her friend for you.”
Trevor looked at him with wide eyes, “What?”
“Thank me later.”
Her friend had been walking up the stairs to their apartment when she got the call from Mason, they had met when y/n and Trevor took them along on a trip to ensure that no rumors would start. She had practically run the rest of the way and bolted into the apartment. She walked over to y/n and handed her the phone.
She reached out for it and held it up to her ear, “Hello?”
“Baby!” 
Her voice stuck in her throat along with the sob that had been forming for a while. “Trevor? Oh my god, are you alright?”
“I’m hanging in there. Are you okay?”
She paused, “No. No, I’m not okay.”
“You know what, I’m coming to London tonight. Just hold on until I get there.”
“Hurry please.”
And just as he promised, 8 hours later he was standing in her apartment, opening his arms for her. She ran into them once she heard him call out and buried her head into his chest. Trevor sunk to the floor with her, his back pressed up against the wall, “It’s okay. I’m here. I got you.”
He could feel her body racked with sobs and he couldn’t help but start crying himself. He had torn himself apart these past two weeks as he waited to hear from her and knowing how much she had been in pain had hurt him. He picked her up soon after and carried her to the bedroom, laying her down on the bed. He crawled in next to her and wrapped his arms around her once more.
“Have you heard from your brothers yet?”
“Not a word. Not that I have checked my phone since the article came out.”
He frowned at her, tightening his hold, “Sometimes I wonder if part of their acceptance is just to forget it ever happened in the first place.”
This made him laugh a little as he pulled back to look at her. He moved the piece of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear. His face changed when he realized that her small smile had turned back into a frown, “I feel so lost. They used to adore me, used to protect me, but now. It feels like they just wish I never existed.”
“Hey, they still love you.” She just blinked at him, “I’m sure if you looked at your phone they would just be wondering if you were okay.”
“I liked your speech, it was very put together.”
He smiled at her, “It made me very proud to be your girlfriend.”
“Hey, I’m always proud to be your boyfriend.”
She giggled and kissed his cheek, “You know what I mean you dork.”
“Speaking of boyfriends and girlfriends. Did you know Mason and Lia were dating?”
She perked up, “No! When did that happen?”
“Apparently-”
“Hey.”
The two turned and looked at Lia, “What’s up?”
“Your brothers are here.”
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𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑬𝑶𝑼𝑺 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝒀𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you
@dancerbailey3 | @if-my-heart-bleeds | @prettyinsatiable | @hearts-4-luke | @pucks-goals-penalties | @crazycat-ladys-blog | @privatemythss | @piavettel33 | @bohemianrapshawty | @mikayladavis | @klkennedy | @whoopwhoop123 | @dasiysthings | @rleigh-47 | @ivy-34 | @itsnotgray | @daisysnhl | @love4lando | @dyslecticdutchman | @hischier-papaya | @toasttt11 | @fratboyharrysgf0201 | @hearts-4-luke | @http-aatp | @biggiesmallspots | @kei943 | @Studio_reader |
@ru-kru | @zebraszegras | @sleepybesson | @lausdigitaldiary | @eleutherafairy | @cixrosie | @livelovefanfics | @leighigh | @slutforseider
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moonbaetarot · 21 hours
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Pick a pile
What’s happening for you in April
1. 2. 3.
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Pile 1
In April Your going to be ending a cycle this new beginning is going to leave you happy and fulfilled. Your going to be out in nature a lot in April it may just be getting warmer wear you live and you love it. You may be an earth sign Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn. It could also be someone’s birthday month or may just be celebrating something it doesn’t have to be a birthday. You’re going to be accomplishing something that makes you very proud. Someone could be buying new spring clothes or just new clothes in general. You may have a bunny or want a bunny. I feel Like this month is going to be an important and significant month for the whole year. You could be spending a lot of time with your pets taking them on walks, cuddling with them and playing with them. You will be organizing or planing a lot in April. I see some of you having a crush or having your eye on someone.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
Pile 2
I feel like April will be a month feeling like your need to get your life together getting your career, money, relationships all together. You feel tied down and frustrated by something you may be worrying about your future or job. you are going to be receiving money but don’t spend it or at least not all of it I’m hearing that you should save and put some away. Your goals are reachable whatever they are you can have them and so much more. I feel like these things you’re worrying about are really taking a toll on your mental health. You may be overthinking something someone told you or you saw. I feel that what you’re going through is the end of this struggle this is the rain before the rainbow. People like being around you they enjoy your presence you make people laugh and smile. Everyone comes into your life for a reason. I see you getting dolled up for some reason getting pretty and wearing a cute outfit to go somewhere. Random message but I feel like someone in this pile doesn’t have a good relationship with their mother.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
Pile 3
In April You will be looking at the things you’ve done over the past few months and just rethinking your decisions I feel like you’re satisfied but not as satisfied with the process you’ve made your kinda just like meh. You may be feeling lonely or bored so you go looking for love but your to scared to commit you just kinda talk to people here and there I feel that you get bored of people fast or no one really catches your attention. this month won’t be to heavy on you like your just letting things rest and be what they are, just living life. you may be seeing a lot of signs and synchronicity’s. You will be receiving some type of gift. You’re going to be succeeding at something this month this could be a new job or career for some sort. you may be getting together with friends going out having fun. Something that happened in October-November could be coming to light or you getting claity about what happened or finding the answer.
Thank you for reading loves! 🤍
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punkpandapatrixk · 2 days
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Full Worm Moon in Libra ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card
Heey~ Yesterday/today is the first Full Moon of the astrological year!🍹Starting off this March, when the Sun is in Aries and the Full Moon is in Libra, the Human world is balancing good and evil⚖️Balancing Positive and Negative. Masculine and Feminine. Electric and Magnetic. Light and Dark. Yang and Yin☯️
With Libra’s aenergy, there are themes of JUSTICE taking place, and spiritually attuned peeps are going to see themselves flip🙃In a positive and empowered way, of course! In this event, take a look at your 7th House of relationships with others, which, ultimately is a reflection of your relationship with the unconscious part of yourself. 7th House is aspects/qualities/elements of ourselves we aren’t very conscious of unless we ‘make the effort to make the unconscious conscious’, says Carl Jung.
This Full Worm Moon in Libra, you will notice that your 7th House gets activated in such an empowered way that you will be rid of all shame and regret pertaining to all your 7th House-y-actions… Let’s make this make sense:
If whatever is in your 1st House makes you soft, polite, kind and gentle, to a point where you’ve often turned into a doormat, accommodating other people’s whimsical ego, you’ll now begin to see yourself embracing more of your SASS and general bitchiness that are already reflected by whatever is in your 7th House😾
If on the other hand, whatever is in your 1st House makes you unkind, argumentative, abrasive, competitive and generally conflicty, to a point where you’ve always been the mean girl or boy or whatever, you’ll see yourself mellow out significantly and suddenly able to reflect on the importance of being considerate, based on whatever sweetness is already in your 7th House🍬
This year, is a year we become whole by embracing ALL aspects of ourselves and turn it all into authentic personal power🪁
‘There is one thing stronger than all the armies of the world, and that is an idea whose time has come.’ – Victor Hugo
[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – You’ve Taken Care of Everybody’s Opinions
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L i g h t – Page of Pentacles
No matter your age, you feel like you’re still a student of Life, especially in terms of understanding Human relations. The reason for that, is that your heart is too pure for this world. Irrespective of age, you feel like you’re still grappling with understanding how some Humans can be so… bad. And you’ve wondered if maybe you’re the really bad person. You’ve been gaslit into questioning your own Soul. Your Soul is good, so good that you trust too easily because you see the positive in all situations. You’re an effervescent optimist! It’s taken you such a long time to realise it’s time you stopped considering other people too much.
Up until the time you find this reading, you’ve been hard at work in growing yourself, developing a stronger character by fully knowing what makes you, you. That way, you won’t be as easily swayed by other people’s opinions that seem to paint you in a bad light when you’ve literally been nothing but kind, understanding, and earnestly cooperative. Because you’ve been surrounded by people who earnestly want to dim your Light, because these people want to corrupt your Soul and take away your optimism, some of the noises of their opinions have become a permanent noise in the background of your mind.
D a r k – 3 of Swords
Sometimes, you find yourself gossiping about your ineptitude in your own mind. And you’re left brokenhearted wondering why you’re so lacking as a person. But, you do realise these aren’t your actual voice, right? Those are the opinions of those who have been exceedingly critical of you. They’re jealous more than anything; and because you’re so kind and take everybody seriously, you’ve taken even these shit opinions too seriously, all because you are by nature empathetic and considerate. But now, it’s perfectly safe for you to stop considering other people’s negative opinions of you.
If I’m being honest, you should fight back. Give ‘em a taste of their own medicine. And if that’s not your style, IGNORE ‘em. Completely ignore ‘em and remove them from your Reality and sooner than later, one way or another, you’ll hear from someone else how they’re doing pathetically now that you’re no longer part of their miserable life. And that, would serve them right. They didn’t treat you right when a person as kind and helpful as you were in their life; now let ‘em deal with their own karma~ Why should you care? Ungrateful bitches will never see anything good in Life anyway.
b a l a n c e – 10 of Cups Rx
For many of you resonating with this Pile, I sense the people who’ve given you so much of this particular brand of pain is family. Or perhaps, people you’ve considered to be best friends or your ‘tribe’ even. Of course, the pain of betrayal and abandonment coming from such people can be quite devastating. But, Imma share this thing I saw on Pinterest that goes something like,
‘My therapist told me that the reason family and closest friends can’t seem to support you is that they can’t stand the idea of you becoming something more than they could ever envision themselves to be. They can’t bear the idea that you’ve come from the same place, yet they’re still in the same place.’
WHOA. I think that applies to your situation with this reading.
This Full Worm Moon in Libra is validating your hard work at developing yourself to become a much greater version of what you were in the past. Those who aren’t happy with your progress, those who won’t support your dreams and goals, are you sure you still need them? Love yourself enough to know you deserve better company. ‘Family’ isn’t defined by blood—that’s literally only karmic bond—rather, it is a feeling of warmth and acceptance coming from those who make you feel that you do truly belong~
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Green Historian (Herodotus) & Priestess of Luck
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Someone Like You Doesn’t Happen Every Day
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L i g h t – King of Wands
Are you aware that you’re gifted with this rare ability to absorb other people’s pain and transmute whatever bullshit causes them pain back to Light? Yeah I know, that doesn’t sound at all like a ‘gift’. But although having a gift such as this can be traumatising when you’re young, all of the spiritual work you’re doing will in time be rewarded 3000-fold! At the time you’re finding this reading, good karma is about to hit you back in the head LOL
I’d suggest you connect with your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides and then try to find other PACs either on Tumblr or YouTube with keywords like ‘what’s your good karma returning to you?’ or something like that. The year 2024 is going to be very energetic for you. You’ve done A FUCKTON of spiritual work for other people and yourself, it is now time you’re taken care of by forces beyond the corporeal.
I sense very strongly Mother Earth herself and the fairy, sea, and animal kingdoms wanting to give back to you for all the aenergetic healing you’ve done for them as well. Bihh? Who are you?? XDD
D a r k – IX The Hermit Rx
You’re somebody who possesses a unique duality within. You’re like the sea itself. Beautiful, calming, deep, mesmerising, nurturing and soothing; but treat you wrong and you’re raging waves that can swallow and kill anything in your way. Actually, if everything were up to you, you’d want always to be on your good side and hope everybody views only this side of you. You’re so kind and charitable, more than people give you credit for. Alas…people are stoopid and ungrateful.
The problem that you often have with people is that they’re not decent enough. They don’t use enough common sense. They’re lacking in politeness. They don’t observe social conundrum. This kind of thing bothers the living shit out of you. You’ve a strong sense of rules. After being let down quite a bit, you’re now realising interacting with Humans is exhausting.
b a l a n c e – Knight of Cups Rx
In many ways, you’ve tried to minimise human interactions and that’s all fine. The Full Moon is just reminding you that you still have many good friends in the incorporeal realms. Although they can’t really be there for you in the physical, they can always be there for you aenergetically. You know most of them are telepathic, right? Try to connect more often to get healing energies from them~
Also, perhaps this isn’t immediate for all of you choosing this Pile, but there’s a strong feeling that you need to adopt a pet. There’s a pet animal somewhere in this world who’s your soulmate and they’re finding their way into your Life. If you already have a pet, be prepared to have a new family member~
If getting a pet isn’t resonating, there’s a sense that you could meet a Human soulmate when being in the presence of an animal. Be alert! Kyaaah~
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei) & Priestess of Energy
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – You Fear Your Own Superhuman Manifestation Power? Bitch??
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L i g h t – Knight of Pentacles
See, you’re a bit of a wild child—that’s how you’ve always been. But you’re not one without a plan! You’re a kid with visions most others couldn’t understand. Your inspirations and daydreams come from a much higher plane of consciousness. Because you’re daring, a lot of people you know probably think you’re reckless at best, crazy at worst. Or maybe it’s the other way around XD
Nevertheless, you’re the kid who realises ALL your dreams when you grow up because you really put in ALL the work necessary to make your dreams come true. In spite of oppositions, in spite of setbacks, in spite of heartbreaks, even after thoughts of giving up, there’s always something there deep within you that keeps recalibrating you to your original Divine Game Plan!
Why do you think that is? Because whatever you dream for yourself, it’s meant to happen. Life’s greatest joy is bearing witness to all of your hard work getting paid in kind. Most of all, paid in your spiritual satisfaction over all you’ve done with your Life~
D a r k – I The Magician Rx
Well, for many of you stumbling upon this Pile, you were probably attracted to another Pile which would likely be your main pile. If that is the case, this Pile is just serving to dig a bit deeper into some strange fears you have about your manifestation abilities. By nature, you are a master manifestor already. You can easily create Realities with just a thought. The occurrence of synchronicities with you is a lot, a loot higher than most people. At the time of stumbling upon this Pile, you’re probably already experiencing synchronicities by the hour!
You’re almost already ONE with your God Consciousness. This is a Creator Consciousness that only some VERY high-vibrational beings can have access to, let alone understand. If there is any semblance of fear in you regarding a VERY big manifestation you’re working on (or know you’re getting pretty soon) it’s probably related to how others are going to perceive you if you have all of these blessings, right? Hmm…?
b a l a n c e – 10 of Wands Rx
You fear that others are going to be envious of you. You fear losing connections with those whose hearts are not big enough to be happy with you when you have more. You fear even, to some extent, that you’re going to be seen as a villain because you seem to have it all so easily. When in reality, it’s not like you didn’t put in all the work—both the seen and the unseen! Nevertheless, you’re still bothered by this idea, fact even, that most people love a company in misery.
In that sense, there could be something in you that’s withholding this manifestation out of fear. It’s like…this manifestation can’t come to be until you give your permission for it to manifest in your physical. That said, this reading is just pointing out this unique mechanism in your manifestation in regards to your surrounding/environment hahah
There’s really not much else to say but that your Divine Timing is now decided by…You. God Creator. Are you ready…?
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon) & Priestess of Illumination
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
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fizzfags · 2 days
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EMIZEL/FIZZFANGS ANALYSIS
the long awaited. under the cut bc its really long and im fucking insane. (this does not necessarily focus on them as a romantic pairing, just the way they interact with each other. interpret it in whichever way is most compelling to you/what you see fit.)
EMIZEL:
the most notable thing about emizel is the fact that he is mainly motivated by status and climbing the social hierarchy in whatever situation he is currently in. in his human life, that was climbing the ranks within the demons. after he dies, he doesnt really understand the social hierarchy within vampire society, but he does understand that its very important to at least be in good standing.
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(episode 2)
he has an inherent disrespect towards authority, also seen with his father, (which i will get to later) as seen with this interaction with arthur. he's insistent on meeting the important figures within vampire society in la, and prioritizes this over, say, learning how being a vampire actually works. in the same episode, he also tells arthur "It just seems like we have similar goals, you know? I clearly don't know what I'm doing in vampire society. You do. So I need to learn. And you did say you'd take responsibility for teaching me." keep in mind that this is only a week or so after he was turned. things become interesting when we see him interacting with said important figures.
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(episode 4)
in a stark contrast to arthur, hes relatively polite and respectful. obviously, this is to build favor for himself within the community of important and respected figures. also notable, he is lying out of his fucking ass. this is probably my biggest piece of evidence against the people that genuinely believe that emizel is unintelligent, because he clearly knows what hes doing.
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as stated in the tweet, he gets killed/injured makes stupid decisions so often because he's used to operating under the rules of the demons and normal human society, and he hasnt learned that consequences and rules are enforced much harsher in regards to vampires. his rash and impulsive personality/decision making skills/opposition to authority figures that he doesnt like just isnt compatible with vampire society, and this leads to him getting hurt (see any and all of his interactions with edward)
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(episode 4)
so, we know he lies to get what he wants (status, respect, etc) and doesn't feel bad about it. now is time to address his upbringing. obviously, it was not great. he has a very negative relationship with his father, and it wouldn't be too big of a stretch to describe it as potentially abusive. "Listen, I've lived with this guy my whole life. He's always kind of been a piece of shit to me, so do what you want - I couldn't care any less. But, if you're making me choose between my wellbeing and his, then I'm always going to choose me. Besides, I can't do any of that mind shit anyways." (episode 2) we can most likely assume he joined the demons relatively young, as a way to escape or have a place to stay other than his dads house. this is also probably the source of his opposition to authority, especially those that act negatively towards him.
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(episode 6)
episode 6 is very interesting. emizel risks his life to go back to the unseen one to ask a very specific question: "why did i get abandoned with my father, and why did shilo get to stay?" also noting that his most precious memory is one he had with the demons. when shilo asks about this question, he gets very defensive, because he knows that shilo would have an answer for him, but its not the answer he wants. if he tells them, they wont let him go back to the unseen one. of course, his question is left unanswered, and he asks it again in episode 10.
another very interesting thing happens in episode 10: he willingly gets rid of all memories of his father. he had a lot of other things he could have given up, but he specifically chose his father. with the definite negative impact his dad must have had on him, and how highly emizel prioritizes strength, it wouldnt be a stretch to say that he viewed the trauma of living with his father as a weakness, something to get rid of instead of grow and heal from. it would take time, a resource he isn't willing to share.
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so, why is emizel so motivated towards power and status? with all this, the answer is pretty obvious: he wants to be able to build the life he was never able to have. power and status means money means opportunities means choices means a better life. he wants an escape from la, from his father, from everything he's had to deal with growing up. hes constantly reminding himself that its not fair, its not fair that shilo got to live that way, its not fair he was abandoned and stuck here. so he wants to make it fair for himself and the rest of his posse. those he considers his family. his jealousy motivates him.
so of course a wrench is thrown in everything when he loses that emotional connection to most of his friends (except theo. which i will get to) and finds himself just not caring anymore. the thing hes built his life around, spent years climbing the ranks - all for nothing. but what else can he do but continue on. find another distraction, find another goal.
THEO:
we don't know much about theos past other than he (supposedly) lives in the suburbs and has rich parents. (referenced in episode 8) though this is debatably canon, i think its interesting if it is because it brings up a lot of questions. most notably, why did he join the demons? the most obvious answer is that it's the same as emizel: his parents suck. though of course none of this is canon, so moving onto the things that are.
the first major event that happens to him is emizel being turned. he sees emizel less, "No shit, really? You know Emizel? How is he keeping up? He's kinda, been disappearin' every night." (episode 2) and we can assume emizel is a big part of his life. (which i will get to later) and then, thanks to shilo, a core aspect of his personality is stripped away. his entire life is essentially turned on his head, and he can feel something missing. so, as seen in episode 5, he turns to alcohol. its no surprise why, he's lost the sense of normality, his routine, everything he was used to. so he may as well do this. a lot of theos more interesting aspects only really show when hes interacting with emizel, so time to get to the fun part.
FIZZFANGS AS A WHOLE:
a very interesting thing is that emizel and theo act very differently when talking/interacting with each other than any other character. dialogue-wise, they both talk a lot faster and "messier" around one another, interrupting themselves and eachother to finish each others thoughts.
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(episode 3)
just by their conversations, you can tell they're very close. this particular instance also has two other interesting things in it: theo asking what he can do to help emizel, and condi specifying that theo would be the only person emizel would tell about being a vampire. to address the first part, here is a complete list of all the times theo asks emizel what he should do/what he should do to help/etc (and this is an incomplete transcript, so ive probably missed a couple.)
"Alright, you lead the way man, let's do it." (ep 1)
"What's going on here? What do I do? What do you want me to do, man?" (ep 1)
"No man! I'm not leaving you, man! I can take him. I can still take him." (ep 1)
"I'm not leaving you, man!" (ep 1)
"Well, how can I help you with the non-soda related-?" (ep 3)
"Yeah! I mean... What should I do first?" (ep 3)
"So you just let me know whenever you need? I got you, bro." (ep 3)
"So, uh… Anything I can help with?" (ep 5)
"Don't worry, man. I got you. Where am I taking you?" (ep 5)
"So, um… how, c- how can I help you, man?" (ep 8)
this fucking crazy interaction:
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(episode 3)
so it goes without saying that theo would do anything for emizel. and he does, he stays in the alley even after he gets hurt, he stays even after he watches emizel die. and when emizel crawls over to him, dazed and hungry for blood, he doesnt run. he only runs after emizel tells him to. another really important thing about their relationship is the fact that they're both a constant in each others lives.
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(episode 8)
its kind of like they sort people into two boxes: "theo/emizel" and "everyone else." and the other will always be their highest priority. emizel drives to the other side of la just to see theo. after emizel dies in the club, his first instinct is to go find theo. theo is the only person that the unseen one appears as to him. in episode 8, the first step to his plan is finding theo.
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(episode 6)
even if he hadn't just lot a good amount of emotional connection to the rest of his friends, i think he would still be a lot more urgent to go save him. and again, his first thought is to check if theo is there. if theo's okay, if he's safe.
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(episode 5)
and theo does this too. he insists that emizel is his only friend, the only one he trusts. speaking of trust, that is the most crucial aspect to their relationship. they trust eachother a sickening amount, they regularly put their life in the others hands. when emizel drinks theos blood, its not "is he going to hurt me?" its "how can i make this the safest?" because theo trusts emizel not to hurt him, even after knowing he's killed ~12 people.
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(episode 3)
and here, emizel trusts that theo loves him enough to be okay with this. note that arthur doesn't even bring up love, emizel is the first to. arthur only brings it up after emizel says that. because emizel knows that theo loves him and trusts him, emizel knows that theo would do anything for him.
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(episode 9)
and emizel, notorious for not letting anyone close enough to hurt him, tells theo that if he wants to, not needs, wants, he can kill him. that theo can kill him, if he wants. because emizel doesn't fully trust himself alone, but he trusts himself when he's with theo.
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and theo trusts emizel too. despite seeing what vampires can do in a frenzy, he trusts that emizel wouldn't hurt him, just as emizel trusts that theo would stop him before anything could ever happen. and emizel is a notorious liar, so we can assume that he doesn't/wouldn't lie to theo, which would explain why theo trusts him so much.
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basically, they'll always be there for eachother and theo would do anything for emizel and emizel will always come back to theo in the end and they love eachother and despite everything they are together. theyre completely inseperable.
tl;dr: emizels main MOTIVATION is status, while the most IMPORTANT thing to him is theo
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space-matt · 8 hours
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Could I request a Matt x reader.They have been dating for a while but the reader has never left that honey moon stage.One day Matt is not having a good day and the readers presence make him on edge.He ends up blowing up on her calling her overbearing and clingy.Things shift and she becomes more distant,for a while he feels ok but he starts to miss the relationship they way it was before.when he tries to talk to the reader she cries to him about the whole situation.He is really sorry and does his best to make it up to her.
I’ll make it up to you 
matt.sturniolo x fem.reader
summary: It's really true that you understand the value of things when you lose them.. Matt figured it out too late, but will he be able to make up for it?
request: yes 
author’s note: thank u so much for the request!! I hope you’ll enjoy it ♡ I add a the song that helped me to write it. For everything I’m here!
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Still lying in bed you feel the heat coming from the window left half open in Matt’s room, with your eyes closed you stretch by turning to the other side meeting a boulder of blanket, you reach out your hand in search of your favorite person but to your surprise, your hand leans on the mattress, so you open your eyes trying to focus and notice that half of the bed is empty.
You've been together for 7 months and 13 days now, and you have to say that they are the best months of your life; Having never had previous relationships, it can be said that Matt is your first true and actual relationship in your 20 years of life. 
Everything had started as a pure joke between you two to make fun of Chris and his girlfriend Maddy, but the more time passed, the more you began to feel real feelings towards the boy that unlike you he had liked you for a long time, but for fear of being considered only and solely a friend, he wanted to avoid putting his heart in the foreground and listening to the rational part of his brain. 
But fate wanted that one evening while you were saying goodbye to go one to your own house, the moment you were about to press a kiss against his cheek, Matt turned earlier than expected causing your lips to collide, making you immediately move away but when you stopped to look into his eyes you saw in both of them a spark so as to burst a breathless kiss.
It must be said, from that moment you have been together, indeed perhaps precisely because it is your first relationship that you try to always make everything go for the best unlike Matt who still had his first relationships during his adolescence that, however, according to him, ''they can't compete with you''. Of course, it scares you that sooner or later it may get bored or otherwise lose interest in you, but you still try to eliminate this thought and be the best girlfriend in the world. 
So you get out of bed by completely opening the window so that the room can change air, leaving the bed undone; Take your change in the drawer that Matt has free so that you can put some of your things when you stay at his house to sleep, and you head to the next bathroom without noticing who is in the open space connected by a small corridor to his room.
Meanwhile, Matt was lying on the sofa, the TV turned on in the background, with the phone in his hand looking on the various social networks but his mind was elsewhere, indeed the day had started in the wrong direction.
In fact, all night you did nothing but stay attached to him not making him move, which didn't make him sleep a wink and that's why he was quite nervous.
His brothers were still in their respective rooms changing, as they would then be out all day under your precise instructions, as you wanted to spend a day entirely with Matt before leaving for spring break in two weeks. 
When Nick and Chris find themselves in the living room ready to go out, Matt pulls up his head ''Do we have any meetings today?'' He asks confused getting up putting the phone in his pocket ''The two of us yes, you have the day off today.. enjoy it'' Chris replies with a grin on his face but which vanishes when he hears a puff from him ''Wow I didn't expect all this enthusiasm '' exclaims ironic Nick going to the door of the house ''Please let me come with you, I need to disconnect, I need air'' Matt responds whispering so as not to be heard by you ''Sorry MattyB but no'' says Chris taking a can of Pepsi from the fridge and then he goes out too.
Another puff comes out of his lips knowing he has to stay with you all day, and resignedly throws himself back on the couch closing his eyes.
When he feels your steps approaching a sense of annoyance and nervousness pervades his body, he can't even understand the reason for all this but it's already been a couple of days that he just wants to have a moment for him, but with you in the middle it's almost completely impossible.
On the other hand, you do not notice anything different, perhaps because taken by too much love that even the most obvious things go unnoticed by your eyes in the shape of a little heart. 
All happy you go to the kitchen taking water pouring it into a glass, turning you notices Matt on the sofa, you leave the glass on the counter and go in his direction lowering yourself to his height ''Babe, let's go out for breakfast?'' you ask trying to caress his hair but at your touch he moves by sitting down looking at you ''I can't, I have to go out'' he responds annoyed without even looking at you, leaving you a little surprised but don't give up trying with a ''Then when you come back we can go for a ride at Lake Hollywood Park, right?'' hopeful in one of his answers but the only thing he pronounces is a ''See you later'' without greeting you and leaving the house, leaving you standing in the middle of the living room. 
The hours go by and so does your enthusiasm, you start thinking about the worst situations in your mind, which do nothing but increase your paranoia;
Okay maybe you recognize that in the last period you have always been with them but despite the fact that it has been almost a year that you moved to Los Angeles, you have not been able to make many friends due to your armor that you tend to raise when it comes to new people. But with Nick, Chris and Matt it's different, you've known them since you were little and with them there was never a need to create a wall to protect you, because they are your guardian angels.
You've always gotten along, except for a few quarrel -which is absolutely normal-, but otherwise you've never noticed before behaviors so distant from Matt, as if your presence wasn't welcome.
When you hear the door open you hope that your boyfriend's figure will come out of the stairs but you recognize the voices of Chris and Nick, you resign yourself completely on the couch with your pajamas and the tray of ice cream on your legs.
''Ookay... why are you at home? Didn't you have to go out?'' Nick asks looking at you confused ''By the way where is Matt?'' Keep looking around ''I have no idea'' you answer him in a subtle voice while you eat a spoonful of vanilla ice cream, while you feel the tears stop at the corners of your eyes, so you don't see you turn your head on the other side putting the teaspoon in the tray ''He came out this morning and never came back, I tried to text him and call him a couple of times but I didn't receive an answer'' you keep whispering closing your eyes making the tears fall.
You feel the package of ice cream being removed from your legs and two arms that surround you, from the essence that envelops you, you recognize that is Chris and with your eyes still closed you abandon yourself in a liberating cry after holding it all day ''Shh, it's okay'' he whispers massaging your back ''You know that every now and then he has its relapses and behaves like this'' he keeps trying to reassure you.
You pull up with your nose and detach yourself from his arms ''But with me he had never behaved this way.. at all he always came to me'' you explain looking in his direction receiving almost an expression of pity on his face ''What do you say if we order something and watch a movie here all together? We will make you choose'' announces trying to cheer you up But on your part he only receives a nod with your head.
Even though he had spent the whole day outside walking around the crowded streets of Santa Monica, his mind did nothing but think about the time to get home, the only thought of having you always sticked made him take his breath away, of course he cared you but this so much physical contact, at that time, was leading him to detach himself from everything, but especially from you.
That's why he had waited for a late time to come back, so as not to have to face you trying to postpone everything to the day of your departure. But you know how his thought works more than yourself, in this way after finishing watching your comfort movie together with the two boys, you decide not to go to sleep right away but to stay on the couch not being able to stay alone in bed without Matt by your side, with the knowledge of having done something wrong. 
The fact that there was no communication between the two of you was new, you have always been the anchor of each other, and not being it in a short time has completely upset you, especially not understanding how to act, and consequently how to find a solution. 
The silence that reigns in the house is broken by the noise of the keys that are inserted into the door patch, your heart begins to beat quickly but you remain motionless sitting with your gaze turned in his direction, while his trying to slowly climb the entrance stairs but when it reaches the last one, he stops seeing you pulling his eyes up ''you shouldn’t have waited up for me, there was no need'' he says changing towards the fridge taking a bottle of water but no longer being able to hold back your thoughts for you ''What have I done? It's all day that you avoid me indeed it's days that you behave strange'' you blurt out getting up to get closer to him, and given your difference in height you are forced to pull up your head to look him better in the eyes.
''What did you do to me? There's that you've become overbearing and clingy. I can't take it anymore, you're always sticky, I never have a free moment and if I have it you're always there'' he exclaims with clenched teeth with a hard look ''We weren't like that before, and now I understand why no one has ever wanted you'' pronounces with wickedness making you take a step back not believing the words just spoken by him.
‘'You know what I’ve been through and you hold it against me, you’re an asshole'' you raise your voice as tears slide down your face; At that moment Matt opens his eyes, he had never heard you say such a thing to him, among all people it was always you to use a calm tone even in the most difficult situation. 
Seeing you rush into his room, he follows you around, but when he sees that you start to take your bags he actually realizes that he has exaggerated ‘'What do you do?’' He asks trying to take your arm but with all the anger that you had in your body in very little you wriggle from his grip ‘’Let go of me'' you say in a dry tone ‘’I’m not gonna stay in the room with you anymore, I’ll go to Nick’s, and I bring all my stuff'' you finish closing the zip dragging the bag on the ground coming out of his room, finding in front of you the two guys, who from the screams immediately catapulted to see what had happened. 
''Nick help me please?’' you ask him tired receiving as answer his hand take the bag from yours, you don’t even turn to see him but you goes up in the room with the older one feeling in the distance Chris say ‘'Dude you have already done too much damage, let her be’'. 
Days pass, but the situation at home does not.
After the heavy words received you decided to build a wall between you and Matt, and to stay away as far as possible trying to behave like a mature person, going out with the two brothers and when they can’t do it on your own, avoiding being alone with him. 
Matt, while you weren’t interacting he was feeling good, but slowly guilt started to come out and realize he didn’t need to push away the one precious person in his life, you. 
But he understands it even more when you didn’t even look at him at the airport, you left without even looking once ‘'Why did I do wrong to her?’’ He says as he watches you go to security checks ‘'Because are you a jerk, that’s why'' answers Nick watching him serious. 
He was really sorry, he wanted in every way to repair your relationship but especially wanted to make it up to you. Without saying anything to anyone, he prepares his backpack with the bare minimum because what he needed was on the other side of the country.
They were about to end your spring break, and leaving your family and friends in Boston again was like getting a stab in the heart but this time it hurt even more, because you knew that once you got back you had to get by 100% on your own, starting with looking for an apartment.
You and your family were at home for your ‘board games evening’ when you hear the bell ring ''Were you waiting for someone?’’ you ask by fixing your pawns ''We don't.. why don't you go and open it?’' your mother answers looking at you softly, confused you get up from your station.
''Please, I have to talk to you''
Matt in front of the door of your house with a bunch of tulips, your favorites and puppet with <I'm stupid> written on it making you raise the sides of your mouth slightly but that you promptly lower.
''You have 5 minutes'' you look at him as you close the door behind and sit on the rocker placed on the porch but still try to be far away. This gesture of yours doesn’t go unnoticed but instead he gives you the flowers with the puppet, you take them by placing the flowers next to you, while the puppet holds it in your hands;
''I'm so sorry.. you know I'm not good at words but I recognize the fact that I was a really bad person to tell you those words, I shouldn't have and I will never dare again..'' he says starting to play with your hands unknowingly ''.. I just had to talk to you and explain my point of view instead of just dropping the blame only on you..'' He continues by suddenly looking down and stopping from talking.
When he raises him up you see his eyes shiny and automatically yours become too ''I don't want to lose you, I was an asshole and I understood it when you left'' he says resting his hand on your cheek, at his contact you close your eyes by resting your hand on his.
''It was really a low shot this time'' you said in a low voice ‘'You had never made me feel so small, helpless but mostly wrong.. but I must admit that I have been more sticky than usual in the last period.. but it’s my way of loving you, and if you don’t like that… we can end it here'' you end up whispering your last words.
''Absolutely not! I flew 2,592 miles to see you and tell you that I love you more than my life, we just have to try to communicate as much as possible to make sure we can continue to feel good for each other'' exclaims Matt approaching while you remain still in your position ‘'I’m here because I want to be there and I want to make it up for you’' concludes by looking into your eyes ‘'I love you you too… but please let's not hurt ourselves anymore'' exclaim yourself by leaning your forehead on his and then let your lips meet in a tender kiss. 
When you pull yourself away, you smile and take the leap to pick up the teddy bear and say ''Would it be you?' and then laugh together. 
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Taglist:  @sturniolosreads @mayhem-72 @dracoflaco @lyzsaphrodite @ifilwtmfc @xoxo4chrisss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @inlovewithmattstur @sturniolobendystrawsposts @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07
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mysterycitrus · 18 hours
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I keep hearing people say to ignore Devin Grayson’s Nightwing but I also see people reference it. I feel like I’m getting mixed signals. Should I avoid it or read it? Are there specific issue I should avoid or read? is the avoiding advice only for people who are new to the comics? Or should I really just avoid the whole thing?
short answer — u do not have to read devin graysons nightwing run. i wouldn’t recommend it to new readers, and there isn’t anything significantly important that happens so like. it’s an easy pass. i do encourage people to at least read what she wrote about, though, because devin accidentally kickstarted the next twenty or so years of bad writing in nightwing books.
the long answer — devin grayson was a writer for nightwing volume 2 from like….. issue #70ish to #115ish. she did a lot of weird things during her run — her takes on dick’s relationships with bruce and slade and helena come to mind — but the most popular talking points wrt her writing are issue 93 and maaaaybe the renegade arc but that is literally the tip of shit mountain.
it’s funny u say that people are telling u not to read it cause based on my experience in fandom it is very, very clear that very few people have read any of the run at all, or even #93 and it’s preceding issues. which is fine, because it’s bad. but it’s important to understand why it’s bad, and how it’s affected dicks characterisation in both canon and fanon.
nightwing #93 is the issue people say to avoid because it features dick’s assault at the hands of a former ally that devin refused to acknowledge was rape until like… 2014. it’s bad. the build up to this point — haleys is set on fire, dicks apartment is destroyed killing everyone inside, dick watches this ally kill a man on his behalf while he is helpless to stop her — is rarely discussed in the context of the scene. it’s a lot, but because people haven’t read it they misunderstand the dynamics that devin had created.
the worst parts about nightwing in the present — his lack of conviction and competence, his sexualisation and dehumanisation, the fundamental lack of empathy for his retconned bg as a poc — all started with devin. literal ground zero. i cannot emphasise how her i incapability to understand that she’d written an assault arc with her self insert as the instigator has played into dick’s status as a character in the 2020s. many people accidentally engage with the same tired, racist tropes that devin herself contributed to, because people simply do not know (or care to know) what she’d written. think about much fanon content revolves around dick being an accessory to his own assault, or being literally unable to advocate for himself, or relying on jason fucking todd to kill his rapist. it’s like im rereading nightwing vol 2 all over again, and that’s not a good thing.
however what people also tend to forget about is the racism. devin grayson introduced dick having rromani heritage into canon, sure, but she did it because she thought it was sexy. we see this with her writing for roy’s navajo heritage too — a lack of research and care, though dick’s was clearly egregiously fetishistic. she retconned the character that assaulted dick into a latina character, and retconned her into being an aggressively sexual and violent person that was at significant odds with her og characterisation. that seems to be a trend with nightwing writers — wolfman did the exact same thing like fifteen years earlier with about the same degree of nuance and empathy.
ig my answer is that nightwing vol 2 is very much a pick and choose run, make ur own adventure type experience. bizarrely, u can get better nightwing characterisation in the titans 1999 run, or batman plus arsenal, which were both also written by devin (heartbreaking, the worst person u kno just made a good point). id be wary of people telling u to avoid it entirely, because i think ignoring its existence just exacerbates the problems devin created. just be discerning, ig. but also read nightwing vol 2 #118-#124 (just after devin leaves) because it is gd hilarious
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lazyneonrabbitt · 1 day
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Rough times.
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Daryl Dixon x Reader
Requested: Hi! Would you be willing to maybe do a one shot with Daryl x reader in a pre established relationship but the reader is pregnant with a child that doesn't belong to him and she isn't proud of? (non-con if you're comfortable with that) Some angst about the reader being worried he won't love her once he finds out 👀
Warning: Non-con, unwanted pregnancy, some angst but happy ending.
What you had with Daryl started early on at the quarry. You were one of the few who didn't look at the Dixons with disgust and actually appreciatwd their hunting efforts and looked past the less than pleasant habits the older brother had.
After Daryl returned injured from his search for Sophia, you were his primary caretaker seeing he was calmest around you. By the time he got back to good health you were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
Only you two knew, no one else really noticed much of a difference seeing you still slept in your own tents and never kissed. You were both too new to relationships and seeing Daryl needed to get used to being no longer on his own you agreed to let it all take as long as it needed.
When you arrived at the prison and cleared it enough to call home you shared a cell. Well, you slept in the cell in front of where Daryl laid out his matres and he used your cell to change and store his items.
By now you ate breakfast together and paired up on guard shifts. You were always at the gate to welcome him back after hunts and eventually he's always stick around after bringing you the meat at the outside kitchen after taking in the woodbury folks.
Yet still you were at loving smiles and shoulder touches, sometimes the short hug goodnight.
It was only the night before the prison fell you shared your first kiss.
And then you were on your own.
The Governor attacked and ended any posibility of returning to the prison and all you heard between the chaos was "RUN!" so you ran. You ran like crazy until you couldn't anymore and realized how screwed you were without your group.
It wasn't long before you were starving and tired, swaying in your walk to a point of not even noticing the men approaching you and catching you mid fall until you were in his arms. Your vision faded and you were out cold, not catching the man's words.
"Claimed."
When you woke up you were in a warehouse with a bunch of strange men and your guts told you to run. Run and find Daryl, or anyone from your group. Except you never made it far seeing they had plans for you.
One of them came to fetch you, held your wrists together behind your back and held you out for the others to stare. Then they started to offer things to the one holding you. Crazy stuff like weapons and food rations that would last a single person a week easily. The whole situation just kept getting worse and worse up to the point of you learning they were offering trades.
Trades of material worth to get time with you. And each trade was accepted and ranked from best to worst.
Ranked in what order they got to fuck you after the one who claimed you had finished.
You couldn't remember when or how long you were passed out when you were woken up by your owner, telling you to dress for a little trip.
He took you to a house not far from their warehouse spot and while he sounded kind and offered you food he only brought you there for some private one on one time..
You tried to stay strong, keeping faith in the fact that Daryl would find you and suffer theough this with the least possible resistance.
Lucky for you the house wasn't empty and just when your captor was going to make amove he was downed by no one else than Rick.
You cried the second he came into view. Letting it all out and dropping to your knees, clamped to his leg you sobbed inyo thr fabric of his pants. And he let you. He gave you the time to let it all out and calm down before he helped you up and took you downstairs to see Carl and soon out of the home to be back on the road.
Three days passed on the road with your refound group before your nightmares turn real when the group of men who assaulted you catch up and threaten to kill Rick and then the rest of you too.
Eyes wide you stared at the leader talk to Rick, no longer catching a single word when your eyes found him
Daryl.
Why was he with them?
Your surroundings blurred and sounds drowned out when the panic set in. Curled into yourself you only heard close gunshots and the accompanied loud ringing until a hamd rested on your shoulder where you sat against the side of a car.
"Y'alrigh?" Daryl's voice made you jump, sitting upright and throwing your full body against him, only to repeat the full crying session from inside the house again but this time against the leather of your boyfriend's vest.
Time passed and it seemed like you and Daryl were back on square one. Daryl blamed it on the trauma of having to flee the prison in the way it happened, but the truth was you still hadn't told him about your time apart.
You lost track of your days after your time with the group Daryl called the Claimers, not thinking about the whole situation much anymore until your third day in a row started with you puking up anything that hadn't been digested entirely yet.
The first two days you blamed the canned food and maybe undercooked meat but now you were hunched over at the side of the road when the harsh reality set in. This was in no way or shape a positive thing. Not after losing Lori in the way you did. Not because you were still without a more permanent home and even less because it wasn't Daryl who caused it. You hadn't been able to tell him what happened to you and you were out of time to prepare for the conversation.
You sat crouched and stared dead into the woods, trying your hardest to focus on a single leaf until your breathing was back to normal but your mind was too loud.
Your stomach emptied itself even further over the forest floor as sobs racked your whole body. You shivered as a cold sweat broke out. You and Daryl were already on worse terms than before the prison fell with being in survival mode constantly, there was no time to fhink about improving your relationship right now.
With your arms clutched around yourself you heaved as your stomach had nothing left to and your entire body hurt with every sob that left your lips.
"Hey," Daryl's voice and his hand on your shoulder had you freeze in panic. "Y'alrigh?"
It was now or never, forcing your head to shake. "No.." Your voice was barely above a whisper, and Daryl crouched down next to you to investigate. Your mind screamed at hou to lie. Fake being just ill and keep his mind on surviving for a while longer but your heart knew it was wrong.
You had already been lying to him for so long by not telling him immediately and you started to feel like it would be the proper punishment to be alone in this after you told him.
"I think I'm pregnant."
Instead of an answer Daryl was up and pacing at the edge of the road. You both knew it wasn't his and without hearing your side of story his mind went to every possible scenario that made him want to walk off and keep going until his legs gave out but you were still his partner. The teo of you might not have acted like it for a while but it was still true and he never forgot that.
He stopped at your side and leaned against a tree. "Talk.. please." He huffed the last word after seconds of silence, he needed to tone down the anger that came too natural to him.
You fell back on your ass and wiped your face on the bottom half of your sweater before steading your breaths and talking Daryl through the happenings of your time apart. The strange men, their deal that ended in the most traumatic night of your life and the trip to the house where Rick saved you and reuniting with Carl and Michonne up to where you met again.
When you finished your recollection of events you couldn't make yourself look up at Daryl. You felt like the worst person in exsistence for lying to him and it got only worse when he announced he needed some time and left.
You spent the days in the back of the RV, unsure if you should stay in this relationship and have Daryl raise a kid that wasn't his. Secretly you begged this world not giving you enough to have it survive long enough and go through the physical suffering of losing it but keep the man you loved.
Were you going to be okay, raising a child that that came into the world like this? Were you goinf to be okay dealing with a living, breathing reminder of what happened? Would Daryl?
You let this happen. You should have kept walking even if it killed you.
Daryl kept his word and hadn't been near you for a while. His time spent not hunting was filled with talking down at himself.
He let that happen. He should have been at your side. He should be at your side but he wasn't sure how he'd manage. He couldn't even go find the one who did it to you and make sure he suffered as much as you did since that whole group was dead by now.
The thought of you in such a situation almost cost him his life, the anger causing him to miss a walker on the ground under some leaves as it snapped at his leg and missed by a hair.
He took it out and stalked back to the group who by now lost their vehicles and had to travel on foot.the group knew about Daryl's anger and his inability to close off that part in a healty way. They knew of your doubts, your secret wishes and especially now traveling on foot they saw your tiredness, your sadness.
You spent all your time apart. Both unable to word the things in your minds as you ate dogmeat, got caught in a much needed rainstorm and hid in a barn where you were found by a stranger who claimed to have a community that would house you all.
A Whole month had passed after the horrible events and now you laid down in the community's infirmary, being examined after all the women of your group had dragged you into the room to be looked after and get needed supplements. The appointment made everything you still tried to deny true and you were sent back to your group with medication, vitamins and a sad heart.
Daryl watched how the women swarmed you and felt like the biggest asshole for not doing what they did. He should be there with you to comfort you about all of this. To tell you he'd make it all work as long as you two did it together. But why wasn't his body moving as he told himself this?
It was Rick's hand on his shoulder that pulled Daryl from his own mind back into reality. He was pulled up and taken along in the direction where you rested on the couch. Carol saw them and ushered the others aside, making sure Daryl had a place to sit beside you as Rick set him down and the others walked off.
"Hey," his voice was soft, barely above a whisper. Even throigh your own still twisted nerves you could feel his and welcomed him into your space with a smile. He came to you and didn't run as soon as Rick's hands were off him, he stayed on his own.
"S'good fer ya ta hav'a roof over yer head now." He was fidgeting with loose ends on his clothes, hoping his words made sense.
"Yeah, you're right.." You should tell him. You have to tell him.
"You know you don't have to stick around, right? It's not your kid, not your problem." The words hurt coming out of your mouth, and they hurt reaching Daryl's ears.
He may not have shown it, solely because he didn't know how, but he loved you. "I ain't lettin' ya do this on yer own." You heard his spoken words and knew they translated to more. More that Daryl had a difficulty saying out loud.
It was moments like this you thanked not needing many words to understand each other. It was one of the things that attracted the two of you in the beginning after all.
Daryl wasn't going to leave you over this. He was willing to do this with you and it took a huge weight off your chest. It was going to take a while but you were going to be okay, the three of you.
When the group fully settled in their homes and everyone was welcomed into the community you spent a lot of time in the garage with Daryl. He wanted to keep an eye on you as the baby grew, but he still needed to get work done so he had set up a corner for you to lounge and read books in. He's catch you staring his way more often than not, but it didn't bother him if it was you.
"Denise came ta drop these off for ya." Daryl walked into the bathroom where you were soaking in the tub. He placed your refill pharmacy order on the counter and came to kiss your forehead, admiring your bump for a moment before retreating into the bedroom to lay down and wait for you to call for assistance.. You were okay with you being nude these days, although Daryl still preferred to have his upper body covered and slept in an old ratty shirt.
Daryl sat on his knees next to the bed, he held your hand, your thigh, the towels when Denise instructed him to do so. He was everywhere to make sure you were comfortable and cried the second the baby made a sound and cheers went around the room.
He watched as the women cleaned the baby girl and laid her down on your chest. He had moved from side to side, feeling like he was in the way of all the moving people that assisted in helping your child into the world but was assured he was exactly where he needed to be for now, up till Denise gave him new instructions after a while of him doing nothing but stare and admire.
Sniffling he made his way to the other side of the bed on the doc's orders and scooted against your shoulder.
His hands were shaking since the second Denise told him to go lay down and take off his shirt. He thanked himself for wearing a button down as he kept his back against the pillows and undid the buttons to only shove aside the front of his shirt so it hung off his shoulders.
This time it was Carol who came to help, showing the new parents how to hold and handle theit newborn as she took her from mom's chest and placed her on dad's.
~~☆☆☆~~
A/N: Okay this one took me out. I'm sorry it took so long!!
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glittersstuff · 13 hours
Text
broken heart - Nico Hischier
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Warnings; casanova always breaks your heart, maybe Nico proves you the opposite.
Rie's note; ////
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When you started working as medical staff for the devils, you felt like home. You're more shy than a party animal, but the boys make it look so easy to get along with you. You just love talking in your native language with some players. Its hard as swiss german to travel to another country just to work here. Without family or friends. Without knowing anybody.
"Hey y/n! Do I have my medical check with you today?", Nico comes in the training room, looking at you. You nod, cheeks getting red and you do a weird gesture with your hands. He looks so damn good, he could wear a garbage bag and would look hot.
Hopefully Nico looks at you one time in his life like you look at him.
How embarrassing, what your thoughts are as professional worker.
After every session you fall more and more for Nico. It seems so natural talking about everything with him. Honestly you forget the time until someone knocks on the door. Every single time with Nico. The boys mock you about it, too ask him out but you're afraid. He's known as a free minded man and doesn't want a relationship at this moment. You're not a puck bunny.
But you catch yourself enjoying having him around, even if you hide it because you have to stay professional. You can tell him everything. Just pretend how it feels you would dating him. Until today.
Nico cancelled the check up and asked to have a medical staff change. When the head coach told you, it was like a punch in the face. Did you anything wrong? Did you accidentally hurt him?
Nico avoids you, he comes later just not to see you. Your heart feels heavy, breaking down in thousand parts. You just want to cry and its getting worse from day to day.
You have to walk through the training room where the whole team trains but you stopped in front of the door before to get in. Nico does sit ups, talking to his teammates, "you know she's nice, but it annoys me she talks too much about her private life", you start to sniffle. You go through the room, shocked faces look at you. They know you heard that. You just nod and walk on, trying to keep the head high. Its just acting, in your dreams you want to run into the bathroom and crying until you feel better.
The next days you don't speak much while working with the guys. Just some "mh, yes, ok, alright", comes from you. You don't want to bother another one, you really need your job to pay all the bills. You don't want to be the excluded one.
The boys are sceptical, they love your sunshine soul and funny stories, cheering them up with their injuries and being a really comfortable person. The last days you walked under power, like a robot and rarely smiling. You don't talk about private things anymore, just doing the job until time is over. You feel so disgusted on yourself to bother a hockey player about your life. You can't believe you're this selfish.
"Can we speak?", on a practice morning Nico comes earlier that usual just to have a conversation with you. He knows you're always over-punctual.
"I don't think so. I have work to do, sorry", you smile politely.
His big brown eyes looking at you to beg talking.
"What can I do that you talk to me?", Nico asks.
"If you have health issues, yes. I can do my job", you reply little too emotional. Tears coming up but you gulp it down.
"Ok. My back hurts after the last hit yesterday. Can you check it?", he speaks out. Secretly he doesn't have problems with his back but if its the only way to talk with you, he'll pretend.
"Ok, come with me", you quit the conversation.
"Where on your back is the pain?", Nico gets undressed his T-shirt, sitting down on the massage table. He just points at his heart. "My heart hurts really bad". "Do you need a doctor?", you get in panic.
Nico turns around his good looking head, show you with a hand gesture to calm down,"no! My heart hurts because I hurt you".
"How cheesy, Hischier".
"Well your coworker told me you have a crush on me and I really broke your heart. I was talking not about you, it was about an annoying family member! I want to date you but you always stayed professional-", Nico runs his fingers on his hair. He always does this when he gets nervous.
"You didn't want me work for you anymore. I mean i have to be fine with your decision", you say and checking on his back if rips and muscles are okay.
"It was because John asked me to change. He was really enthusiastic about how you helped him well", Nico explains.
He turns around, youre standing between his legs. That's not the position you wanted but it feels alright. It feels safe.
Your skin begins to sparkle.
"I'd like to go out with you?", he takes your arms, looking up with a cute, chill smile.
"Like a date? a date date? with candles and a suit?", your eyes brightening up. "But I'm not just a girl for one night!".
"I thought about mini golf but if you want to, I'll call a restaurant", Nico's brown eyes finding yours. His smile is so precious. "And I only have good intentions for a relationship".
"Yes but I'm sorry I have to work on your back -", you stumble over your own words. You feel overwhelmed by his honest words.
Nico pulls you closer, you can feel his breath on your face. "I don't have problems with my back. If i have it one day, i hope my future genius girlfriend is waiting for me at home to help me with that", he softly kisses your cheek, stands up and pulls his shirt on. Your cheeks burn in a cherry red because of this kiss. Damn he's a really good kisser and you cant wait to get more.
"I hope you mean it in the medical way, casanova!"
"I know you already had a wild dream about me. You talk in your sleep and I understand swiss german", he winks, kisses your cheek again and walks out of the door.
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d10nyx · 3 days
Text
MAMA'S BOY - NERO
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ft. nero x fem!reader
a/n: if nero does not stop looksmaxxing omfg why is it so hard to find a pic where he isn't mewing? this is admittedly so super self-indulgent and idek what the dmc fandom on tumblr is saying so... if this gets four notes i'll still die happy. feedback and reblogs appreciated :3 ty to @thevirgincherry for beta reading !! ilysm MWAH
cw: 18+ content, mdlb, nipple play, tit play(?) in general, use of mama, handjob, cum eating, super sappy smut basically
word count: 1.8k words
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“You've gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” Is the first thing that spills past Nero's lips when you mention shifting the dynamics a little bit in your relationship. He's giving you an incredulous look, one of his brows arching towards his hairline.
“I'm really not. You're so irritable all the time. You need to let yourself relax. All that cynicism is getting to your head.” You say with a frown, your brows furrowing as you look at your boyfriend. He's giving you that look again - the one that says he's about three seconds away from saying something downright horrific, but he's choosing not to - to spare your feelings, of course.
“Right. And so, what… you coddling me like a kid's meant to… miraculously make me a ray of sunshine?” He scoffs, his own brows pinching together in frustration as he runs his hand through his hair. The cybernetic one, ‘cause his human hand is currently twitching at his side. “Baby, I love you, but seriously. I've been handling myself for a long while. I don't need you to do it.”
You know it's not that - you know Nero well enough to recognise the uncomfortable shift of his feet and the way the tips of his ears turn a slight pink. He's embarrassed, even if he's trying to hide it. A sense of unease always comes over him when he thinks about being taken care of. It's a luxury he's never had - one he thinks he doesn't deserve.
You give him that look that he really, really hates. ‘Cause you really are the only person that's always looked out for him, so seeing the way your eyes narrow in frustration is enough to have him wanting to kneel at your feet with his tail between his legs, rubbing himself against your thighs and pleading until you forgive him.
Shit. Maybe he's more cut out for this whole ‘mama’ shit than he thought.
His resolve wavers, his hand awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck before he lets out a soft sigh and nods. “Alright, alright. I’ll try it out, but I ain't promisin’ shit.”
                              ˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗
Turns out all Nero needs is a few stern words and gentle touches and he's rolling over like a good boy, exposing the soft underbelly he tends to try and keep hidden. When he comes home drained and you're quick to guide him to a bath, it's hard for him not to completely melt under your attention.
Scratch his scalp when you're washing his hair, and he's fully ready to go all ‘yes, mama’ to whatever you want. He's happy to bare himself for you. You want him bent over the back of the couch? On all fours? He'll stick his tongue out and beg for it like a good boy if it meant you'd give him that proud expression that makes his heart feel like it's beating again. Mama gets what mama wants, and that's an irrefutable fact.
“C'mere, baby.” You coo after he makes his way into the apartment after a long day of ‘work’. Blood splatters his feet dragging against the floor. His movements are exhausted - slow and rugged. You can see that glazed over look making itself present in his eyes, his gaze somewhere off in the distance.
His body is working on autopilot as he makes his way to the sofa you're sitting on. He flops down next to you, and the change in him is immediate. The tension melts from him as he buries his face into your chest, nuzzling his way between your breasts as his hands clutch your waist tight enough that it's almost painful.
“Mama…” He croaks out, pressing himself right up against you, trying to wriggle his way on your lap without ever having to disconnect any part of himself from your warmth. You cradle him as best you can - it's not necessarily the easiest thing to have a 6’2 demon hybrid trying to curl up on your lap like a kitten, but he always manages to find a way to worm himself into your arms, clinging to you like he's scared you're gonna vanish as soon as he closes his eyes.
He's never found it so easy to be loved by someone. You gave him that unconditional, no strings attached love. You loved him just ‘cause he was worth loving in your eyes. Not because you needed him for something, or because you had some sense of pity for his situation.
You were easy to love, and his love for you was unwavering and all consuming. It was far too easy to fall into you with your kind eyes and gentle touch. He didn't have to deal with the shit of his life when he was with you. He could finally relax. He was safe.
“Missed you.” He breathes out against the skin peeking out from the low collar of your shirt, his blue eyes flicking up to gaze at your face. His nose brushes your skin, his hands pawing at your shirt as if he's trying to entice you to take it off. “Mama… please.”
“You gotta ask properly, baby. Use your big boy words, c'mon. What do you want from mama?” You coo, running a hand through his white hair. You let your nails rake over his scalp lightly, enjoying the way he shivers at the touch.
His hands slide under the fabric of your shirt, trying to tug it off anyway. He's never been good at this part - getting the words out. His cheeks grow all pink and he gets quiet, just whining until you let him pull the shirt off of your body. As soon as your tits are in view, he's licking, biting and sucking at every inch of skin he can get his mouth on.
“So impatient, baby.” You scold lightly, helping him adjust slightly so you can slip down his trousers, freeing his cock. It's already rock hard and leaky, the tip flushed red as it oozes precum down his length. “S'okay though. It's not your fault. Mama knows you can't think straight without her help.”
You give his dick a squeeze, his face scrunching up so prettily as he bucks his hips into your tight grip, his cock pulsing in your hand. “Mama… Mama, please. I'll be good, c'mon. Been good, just tou-”
His words are cut off with a groan as you finally start pumping his length in your hand, circling your wrist and running your thumb along his slit everytime you fist the head of his cock. You let go to spit into your palm before stroking him again, leaving him panting into your breasts.
His lips latch onto one of your nipples as you continue touching him, slick sounds filling the room. He suckles greedily, his eyes becoming heavy-lidded as he looks up at you, his tongue flicking eagerly against your nipple.
Your free hand cups his head, holding him against your tit as you let him fuck your fist. Your thumb brushes back and forth on his scalp as he pulls away from your nipple, biting and sucking marks into the flesh of your tits instead as his thumb plays with one of your nipples, stroking and pinching the bud.
“You're making such a mess, baby. Leaking all over mama's hand.” You tease, digging your nail lightly into his slit as he bucks his hips, a low whine spilling from his lips. “You sound so pretty, though. Lucky I'm so good to you, huh, pretty boy?”
You can see the conflict on his face at that nickname, the twitch of his brows and the way his face heats up, his teeth biting down just a little harsher as if he's trying to protest the choice. He can act all he wants, but his dick doesn't lie - and it always kicks when you call him that.
“Mama… gonna cum, mama, please…” He grits out, fucking your fist with more urgency. He pulls his face away from your tits just so he can shift his body to gain better control of his hips, rutting into your hand desperately as he chases his release. “Tits, mama. Lemme… lemme cum on you, please. I'll clean it up, promise. Please.”
You pause to think about it for a moment, watching him writhe as he struggles not to cum, his eyes tearing up and his face all flushed as he continues to jerk his hips, unable to stop chasing the pleasure you're giving him.
“Alright, baby. C’mere then.” You murmur, shifting to lie on your back. As soon as your grip on him loosens, he's quick to straddle your waist, kneeling over your body as he hungrily fists his cock, aiming it down towards your breasts.
“Fuck, mama. Gonna… gonna cum.” He grits, his hand quickly coming down next to your head to support his weight as he slumps forward, ribbons of white coating your chest. His lips part in a silent moan, his breath coming out in heavy pants.
He takes a couple of seconds before he leans down, his tongue sliding along your soiled skin. He laps up every drop of his release happily, his eyes practically shimmering with satisfaction.
“There we go. Such a good boy, cleaning up your mess.” You say softly, your hand finding his hair once more, scratching behind his ear in a way that never fails to have him melting in your grasp. He rests his head on your stomach when he's cleaned you up fully, his hand reaching out for yours. He yawns a little, letting himself lie across the couch while using you as his personal pillow.
“You sleepy?” You ask softly, gazing down at his hooded eyes. Nero nods softly, blinking slowly a few times. You smile at him, still stroking his hair with one hand as your free hand comes down to rest on his back, your thumb rubbing small circles there. “Take a nap, baby. Mama will be here when you wake up.”
He gives you another one of his looks - the one halfway between pure adoration and complete confusion. He knows you're someone that sees him. That sees Nero behind the front he puts up. Somehow, you're aware of how fucked up he is, and you're still willing to stay. He doesn't know how to take it, he can feel himself getting choked up as he meets your eyes. And he can't cry, not in front of you. So he nods again, closing his eyes to keep in the unshed tears, wrapping you up tightly in his free arm while his hand squeezes yours as hard as he can without hurting you.
“Alright, mama. Night.” He croaks out, the words he wants to say dying on his tongue. But when you rub your thumb over the nape of his neck and squeeze his hand back, he knows you felt it. He knows you love him, too. He knows that despite everything, it's enough for you. 
He's enough for you.
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Closed Position: Deconstructing Dieter Bravo
Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist I did a Deconstructing Dieter Bravo series for Destiny & Deliverance, so I thought it might be fun to continue that tradition with Closed Position since this Dieter does have some interesting things going on that we can delve deeper into.
I had several people comment/dm me about two things after the first chapter that I think would be fun to discuss further. Those were of course, Dieter’s plant hobby and the fluffy menace hanging around his house.
To most, these two things may seem very random and unrelated. However, they really aren’t. They do serve a bigger purpose to the story…because of course they do. When do I ever not have deeper meaning behind something, right? 😏
Plant Dad Dieter
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First, I have included some more Dieter aesthetic pictures above that I had saved. It's a whole ✨vibe✨. Second, I must thank @readingiskeepingmegoing for coming up with the new #PlantDadDieter hashtag… because it’s so on point. I’m totally going with it! 💜
On to the good stuff...what have we learned about Dieter after the first installment? I think we can safely identify three things: he spends a lot of time alone, he feels misunderstood, and he doesn’t appear to have any deep or meaningful relationships. This will be a theme that comes up a lot with him, especially starting in Week 2 when we open with him having a chat with his therapist.
How does this relate to plants, you ask? Let’s start with Dieter’s history…the man has never had a real relationship. He’s never connected with anyone, whether that be friend or significant other. He was a party boy that indulged in the physical pleasures of life while avoiding any real intimacy. Most of his relationships were based on sex and favors. We will worry about why he is this way later, but for now, just know that’s where he's at emotionally.
Dieter has never really had a bond with anyone or anything. Now that he is sober and realizing how alone he is, he’s seeking that connection any way he can and doesn’t even really realize it (yet).
Sure, being a plantsman does have perks as it is relaxing and can have a positive impact on one’s mental health. However, it’s causing Dieter to learn how to care about something - how to be selfless and nurturing with his time. He has to put in a lot of effort to keep everything alive and healthy and he quickly realizes that putting in that time and energy makes him happy. Also, the plants don't judge him or his past.
Now, for some fun stuff because some of you asked…
Does Dieter talk to his plants? He 100% talks to the plants. He doesn’t know if it actually does anything, but he figures it can’t hurt to try. It also helps him feel less alone as he does see them as living things. They do breathe, eat, and drink after all.
Does Dieter name his plants? I’m inclined to say that he names his favorites. All the others just have random nicknames that change based on their appearance. Like...the "thirsty dramatic bitch" that gets weepy and needs to be watered and turned in the sunlight daily.
Dieter’s Furry Squatter
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And let the collective aww's be heard! 🤭
So, I pulled a few pics from Pinterest of what I envision Dieter's furry little visitor looks like. I see it as an adorably fluffy young Maine Coon kitty.
👉 Fun Fact: "The name 'Maine Coon' was adopted after the state of the breed's origin, Maine, and after the early belief that the cat was in fact the result of crossing between domestic breeds and raccoons." (from VioVet)
Funny story, I did not know that fact before choosing this breed. It looks like it was mean-to-be for our loveable trash panda. 😂
Now, I am sure you're asking; how does the cat relate to the plants? The cat serves the same purpose when we think about Dieter's relationships...or lack thereof.
Again, Dieter is craving companionship. He is still reluctant, but this little nugget will eventually become a loving companion for him. It's another avenue for him to create an emotional connection with something. He will learn how to care for the kitty and build a bond. Though the little menace can be a bit sassy, like the plants, it also doesn't judge Dieter by his past. What do you think Dieter should name it? I'm taking suggestions in the comments. 😉
In an odd way, the plants and cat do help Dieter grow as a person. It's baby steps in his personal growth journey. Honestly, as Katrina gets to know Dieter on a more personal level, these are two things that she absolutely loves about him, mostly because it's two things that are unexpected and show what a sweetheart he really is. She sees the good in him even if he can't see it himself.
That's it for your little extra bit of insight...until next time.
💜Mysty
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Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.
Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.
Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.
👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, alcohol abuse, and drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.
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Closed Position Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept @survivingandenduring  @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime  @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap
*If your blog name is marked out, it would not let me tag you. You will need to change your visibility settings for that to work going forward.
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bedtimegiraffe · 16 hours
Text
I finally figured out why all the party members in Book 2 come out as so frustratingly self-focused to me.
It's not because they're all struggling with their own stuff. It's all about shelving your agenda- that thing in a relationship where you go, 'You need my support right now, so we're going to worry about my thing later.'
And MC does this constantly.
I just barely escaped death and found out a year passed, but is Kade recovered from the Shadow Court?
I just almost drowned, but it's time to comfort this owlbear cub and unpack Valax's trauma!
I just almost died twice to the Ash Empress, but is Nia coping with being corrupted okay?
Which can be okay. Shelving your agenda is part of a healthy relationship of any kind.
The problem is that no one does it back. I think Tyril and Nia kind of sum up the whole group's attitude:
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But I don't think MC was ever going to be 'ready.' Someone else was always going to have to 'unshelve' it for them and make an effort to put the focus on MC.
Now, adventurers don't tend to be particularly well adjusted people. The full party has got maybe 1.5 healthy childhoods and 4 living parents between them (judged pretty generously). But it still feels like the others can't get it together enough to ask if MC is okay. Not that MC really makes it easy! I see MC as someone who is so used to pushing their feelings down to focus on whatever work is in front of them, they almost can't access their own emotions.
Which is why we had the brief glimpses of panic and the breakdown moment in Chapter 17. I think the breakdown makes sense mechanically. Kade is the one character your MC is guaranteed to have a strong connection to and this way it's not gated behind any diamond choices (like some really crucial character moments with Aerin and Valax, no I'm not bitter about it). But that makes it feel like the whole party has been neglecting MC while Kade immediately sees MC and goes, "Dude, you are not okay. Talk to me.'
And MC tries to turn it into comforting Kade! Kade has to actively argue with MC to make them actually acknowledge that they're having a hard time.
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MC for some reason can't or won't talk about their own trauma and Kade (who's only been around for 5 minutes) is the one who has to actively force the issue for MC's own good. Which is not a great look for the rest of the found family.
Afterward, Mal and Nia both seem to address it without really getting the point. Mal says, "We know things didn't go the way any of us wanted." (Which could mean... anything. But I'm feeling generous.)
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Protecting MC from death is not an equivalent exchange to talking about feelings! It is in fact dodging the feelings by focusing on practicalities again! Y'all better get it together in Book 3, I swear.
Overall, MC constantly delays addressing their own vulnerability and issues to focus on everyone else. And the others don't know how to do the same thing for MC, so the pattern just gets more engrained and damaging.
Except for Kade, my perfect boy.
Sources (they're fun, I promise!):
Screenshots from Neckrone Shen's playthroughs of Blades on YouTube, my go-to for whenever I can't remember something or don't have the screenshots myself.
I think @oh-so-youre-a-nerd's incredible piece 'Take Take Take' kept rattling around in my head until I figured out how to articulate why it felt this way: https://www.tumblr.com/oh-so-youre-a-nerd/736449955360899072/take-take-take?source=share
The language of 'shelving your agenda' came from the very good Cinema Therapy video about Kristoff from Frozen:
youtube
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marimayscarlett · 24 hours
Note
It's fascinating how the 2 people Richard disagreed with the most during Mutter drama are now the 2 people he's most affectionate with in public. Schneider and Paul.
Not to say that he's less loving with others, but with those 2 he really goes in for all the hugs, squeezes, and kisses.
Hi 👋🏼
From what we know from interviews, it really did seem to be Paul and Schneider who disagreed with Richard the most during the exhausting Mutter recording - even though the process seemingly took its toll on the whole band. Paul and Schneider mentioned this period in some of their interviews; I must admit, I always have the feeling that Paul is trying to sail around this topic a bit, staying rather vague, while Schneider pretty much is going all in and is very open about the conflict and his opinion about it. Here are two statements of them both:
Schneider in the infamous 'Rock Hard' interview together with Richard from 2004 (Richard really tries to take responsibility in this interview and it's overall a bit painful to read):
'But, starting with "Sensucht", the guitarists began to work at home, using a computer. And when we learned about these passages, there was nothing to add, the music was all ready Guitarists did all the work, and we could not add anything! Moreover, if we wanted to change something in the compositions, the guitarists refused, so they were obsessed with them. [...] we rehearsed as five, without Richard, in the same place, all together. It was great. And then once Richard came back, there was a little tension and one thing lead to another. [...] We reached the limit when it became impossible to mention the name "Richard" without adding an "idiot" or "asshole’ ! It's strange that there were no personal complaints. But as soon as it came to music, Richard was the last person we wanted to listen to. He needed a good lesson! [...] Richard was a wall against which we could not fight.'
Paul in his section of the 'Rock Hard' interview:
Does your statement mean that you had little fun working on 'Mutter'?
Yeah, 'Mutter’ really wasn't that much fun. The famous third album, as the saying goes. There were also personal reasons. After eight or nine years, the balance of power had shifted within the band. It actually happens in every band that Ritchie Blackmore quits because he can't go on with Jon Lord anymore. For years their friction was refreshing for the listeners, but at some point it gets on everyone involved so much that one has to drop out.
But nobody left Rammstein.
No, not that. But we also had gossip and stress between two people because of competence difficulties as well as over- and underestimation. We had to reorient ourselves. It also cracked. But — I knock on wood! — we got through it well, so we could work on the fourth album with fun.
You certainly don't want to mention the names of the two.
Correct. It can happen to anyone, because everyone is unreasonable from time to time.
We don't really know how the relationships between Richard and other members of the band were strained at that time (at least Till seemed to be on somewhat ok terms with him), but for Paul and Schneider we have "proof" that it was hard on them - so it's even more heartwarming to see Richard being cuddly with them! They overcame their difficulties, put a lot of effort in patching things up because the band was important to everyone. And it's nice to witness this in hugs and affection 😌🤍
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