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the-velvet-worm · 3 years

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We need to talk about Mai.

The Avatar: The Last Airbender fandom is one that’s seen better days, that’s for sure. Even in its better days, it was full of ship wars and shit takes. It’s always been like that, despite how near-perfect the show is, and that’s nothing that can be helped. We all consume media differently, and that’s what makes so many movies and TV shows so great. Differing opinions are what create discussion and debate, and we should almost always at least entertain them to help get a better understanding of the thoughts and opinions of others. So… let’s dive into one of my most unpopular opinions.

Mai. We all know her as the knife-wielding goth girl, friend to Azula and girlfriend to Zuko. Many have come to the false conclusion that she’s all surface and no substance, that she never cared enough for Zuko, that she was too passive and uncaring and didn’t cater enough to the emotions of the people around her. She turned on Azula to save Zuko, and Ty Lee turned on Azula to save Mai. It’s one of (in my opinion, at least) the most badass and iconic moments of the show. Mai stealthily pinning down all the prison guards without spilling a single drop of blood, buying Zuko, Sokka, Suki and co. just enough time to escape the Boiling Rock is one of the best action scenes in all of ATLA, that much isn’t up for debate. But it’s also one of the most profound and selfless acts of love in the entire series. Zuko, whose mother poisoned his grandfather to save his life, who betrayed his uncle just as he was going to make a major heel turn as a person, was saved by a girl he broke up with… in a letter. I’ll get into the letter later. But for now, I want to unpack Mai’s sacrifice.

She knew exactly what she would be facing by saving Zuko. Azula was right there. And Mai still did it. She resigned herself to the fact that she would have to face Azula’s fury — and her lightning. Mai’s only defense? Her knives. It was a test of speed and precision. Or at least, it would’ve been, if Ty Lee hadn’t stepped between them and taken Azula down. The important part was that Mai was willing to die to save Zuko’s life. “I love Zuko more than I fear you,” is one of the most powerful lines of dialogue I’ve ever heard in my life. It confirmed two things: Mai loves Zuko (which she said with her actions as much if not more than her words) and Mai has only been friends with Azula as long as she has because she actually feared what Azula would do to her otherwise. It was never any secret who had the true power in the Fire Nation royal family — Mai knew that better than most. And still, even after Zuko ditched her in the middle of an invasion, she would’ve traded her life for his without a second thought.

Which leads me to my next point — the letter. Mai read a portion of it out loud. We saw Zuko write it just a few episodes prior. We know from context and dialogue that he didn’t want to leave her, he tells Sokka as much on their way to the Boiling Rock. In Zuko’s mind, he left Mai behind to protect her. But flipping it and looking at it from Mai’s perspective is so key to understanding why she was so hurt. This wasn’t just a case of a jerk boyfriend breaking up with his girlfriend through a text message. This was two traumatized teenagers who fell in love despite all odds, who were separated for three years, and were finally reunited… just for him to leave again. The first time Zuko left, he didn’t have a choice, as we all know. That’s fair. The second time? He did have a choice. He made the right choice. He knew it. We as the audience know it. But who didn’t know it was Mai — she expresses as much. She doubts herself and her relationship with Zuko because of it. She more or less infers that she feels their relationship has been built on a lie — and in truth, it partially has been. Zuko withheld information from her and withheld his feelings. Remember ‘The Beach’, toward the beginning of book 3? That episode where Mai and Zuko (and Azula and Ty Lee) all addressed their childhood trauma and finally began to be able to work through it? Mai didn’t shut down Zuko’s feelings — she actively encouraged him to share with her how he was feeling. In the same scene, Zuko claimed Mai didn’t care about anything, and at the end of the episode, she affirmed that although she had difficulty expressing her true emotions, she did care about Zuko. And I think it says a whole lot about her that even after having her heart broken by him, after opening up to him and offering a safe place for him and getting hurt as a result of that, she still couldn’t let him die.

What I’m getting at is… would a girl who REALLY didn’t care do that? I see a lot of people claim she didn’t listen to Zuko… when was that? In ‘Nightmares and Daydreams’, when she constantly tried to affirm him, comfort him, reassure him, and was met with silence? In ‘The Beach’ when he dumped all of his trauma on her and she sympathized with him but still held him accountable for his actions? She did nothing wrong in those instances. She was never in the wrong to demand decency from her boyfriend — he accused her of cheating because another man looked at her. In what world doesn’t she have a right to be upset about that?

Circling back to the first episode of book 3 — in a scene that many blow wildly out of proportion — Zuko is being his usual angsty self, having a moment of reflection and self-doubt. He’s afraid his father won’t accept him, that going home to the Fire Nation might be a mistake. It’s easy to forget that Mai wasn’t present for the death of Aang, so she has no idea what happened during that scene. She has no idea that Zuko wasn’t the one that killed Aang. She has no idea what Zuko’s been doing in the three years he’s been gone. So… in her head, she assumes Zuko’s just being his usual dramatic self, and makes a joke about not wanting to know his life story to put his mind at ease and assure him that his worries were misplaced. She wanted the same thing she thought Zuko wanted (and I say thought because, well… he never told her what he really wanted because *he* didn’t even know) and encouraged him to strive toward that. She waited for him for hours outside the war chamber in ‘Nightmares and Daydreams’, and when the meeting finally ended and he came back out, she enthusiastically congratulates him on it, she’s happy for him because with her limited knowledge of what’s actually going on in her boyfriend’s head, this is what he wants. Earlier in the same episode, he’s lamenting about not being invited, and then decides the meeting is dumb and he doesn’t want to go to it. And she agrees with him, again, simply just trying to affirm him and make him feel better. She supports him in all things — all things that she can to the best of her understanding of the things.

At the end of it all, communication is a two-way street — Zuko was shitty at expressing himself and so was Mai. That was something they both needed to work on separately in order to be able to come back together. Their separate and individual personal growth does not hinge on their relationship. Mai was not Zuko’s therapist, nor should she have been. She tried to be supportive and be there for him in the only ways she knew how with her very limited (but expanding) sense of sympathy. Mai was a person who never let herself care, at least not outwardly, lest she get her feelings hurt in the process. She did open up to Zuko, and encouraged him to do the same with her, offered him support, unconditional love, and a safe place, and he needed to do some growing away from her, and that’s fine. He should’ve communicated that to her a little better, and she should’ve tried to be more understanding from the start, but they’re still just teenagers. I don’t know many teenagers who can take what they know they are capable of emotionally handling and applying it to their interpersonal relationships as well as Mai does. I was a hell of a lot farther behind in my own emotional development than Mai was at 15.

#mai #zuko #maiko #PROPERLY TAGGING BECAUSE ITS POLITE #atla #avatar the last airbender #a:tla #meta #text #text post #long post

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