#and WHY do they have to torture us until next week with this cryptic shit

[misstinfoilhat]

Whumptober 2019 #16: Scars- Bungou Stray Dogs

This is part 2 of this ----

“How can you do this to yourself?” Kunikida asked, deep in shock. Obviously, Dazai had been hiding something under his bandages. Self-mutilation had always been a distinct possibility, but not in his wildest dreams had Kunikida ever thought that it would be this bad. Nobody should be able to hurt themselves to this extent.

It should not be humanly possible, but then again...

A chill went down Kunkida's spine as he realized for the first time how the name of Dazai's ability actually seemed to fit the distraught man in front of him, in some sick, distorted kind of way. 

Maybe the idea of being in possession of no longer human was what fueled him, manipulating his body and mind into enduring these horrible actions which any sound mind should be unable to commit against oneself.

A faint shake of the head was the only response he could get out of the lethargic man and Kunikida decided to let it be for now.

If he pushed him too hard, it would only end in disaster. Even if Dazai always seemed to worm his way back to life, into the same annoyingly carefree and chipper 'bandage-wasting-suicidal-maniac' (which somehow had become a term of endearment around the agency) he usually was- this situation right here, right now, felt different.

It was real and right in front of him and uncensored and absolutely heart-wrenching.

So Kunikida kept quiet and continued cleaning out the wounds, using strips or stitching them together before covering them with excessive amounts of gauze while his thoughts were spiraling out of control about the days leading up to this...

...which had been utterly uneventful. Nothing to warn them of what was to come at all.

They had been just like any other days, weeks or months, with Dazai doing slightly dangerous things around the office, declaring them as possible suicide methods while wearing a huge grin on his face. Or, shamelessly getting down on his knees in front of any woman in his proximity that he deemed worthy, begging them to commit double suicide with him.

Teasing, agonizing Kunikida to no end, abrupting his thoroughly planned out schedule just to get a reaction- which Kunikida always would give him.

Pretending that Ranpo wasn't fiercely competitive towards him- letting the abilityless (and just a bit clueless), but never the less genius, detective solve several puzzles Dazai himself likely had been able to figure out the second he had laid his eyes on them.

And the way Dazai was huddled up in the corner of the room like a ferocious animal when Kunikida had come in...

“Who did you think I was?” Kunikida finally asked carefully. Dazai bearly stirred.

“Hm?” Dazai hummed, still a long way from his bathroom in his mind. But, he finally seemed to be waking up from the hypnotic daze he had been trapped inside.

“When I came in... You seemed to think I was someone else.”

“Oh.”

Dazai was weary and pale, probably from blood loss and sleeplessness. Kunikida had just begun to sew shut yet another gash on his arm, but the stinging, throbbing sensations that radiated from the self-inflicted wounds exceded far beyond Kunikida's precise stitches.

“I- I'm not sure,” Dazai answered sincerely, winching a little as Kunikida tied the first stitch at the next laceration.

“Sorry,” Kunikida muttered quietly, but Dazai only waved it off as not a big deal.

“I think I was somewhere else, in my mind, I mean,” Dazai explained before he scoffed drearily. “When you let yourself in, I was looking for a weapon I haven't borne in 5 years.”

At that, Kunikida raised an interested eyebrow, but continued his work meticulously all the while, hoping that his cryptic partner might continue this rarety of opening up if he didn't interfere too much.

Of course, Dazai didn't, which wasn't too surprising considering that he was the same man who had managed to keep his past position as one of the most powerful (not to mention dangerous) people of the Japanese underworld a secret for years. A position he had reached when he was still just a teenager.

How this suicidal, manically depressed goofball could manage such a thing, was something Kunikida would never be able to truly comprehend. It was likely something none of them would ever understand- they would never know how a scrawny child with a death wish had ended up as an executive in one of the most feared gangs in the world.

The only person in possession of those answers was currently seated on a toilet seat in front of him, bleeding from countless lacerations reaching from his throat to the soles of his feet.

So, Kunikida decided that he couldn't pounder on that part of Dazai's past anymore. It was simply too bizarre, and even if Dazai clearly was very haunted, maybe focusing on who Dazai was now- not who he used to be, could somehow pull him out of this self-destructive apathy.

Or maybe it's not Kunikida who needs to stop thinking of Dazai as a monster.

Kunikida cleared his throat, catching Dazai's glassy eyes that had previously stared blindly into his lap.

“Dazai, I know I might be the last person you'd want to hear something like this from, but I'm going to say it anyway... You have to stop blaming yourself for... whatever it is that's tearing you apart. You need to stop living in the past and start looking forward to the future... The past is clearly eating you alive, but the future just might save you.”

Dazai only looked at him. For a long time, while a small, pained smile slowly tugged at the corner of his mouth. Dejected, he let his hair fall in front of his eyes, and something in his expression shifted.

“Of course, Kunikida-kun... I have to stop dwelling on the past and focus on the future. It all makes sense now,” he murmured in an eery whisper, bitterness, and animosity dripping off his tongue like blood from a blade.

Like the blood, dripping from Dazai's hands, arms, legs, feet, torso, hips, chest, neck... Kunikida was clearly over his head in gaping wounds.

“Dazai...” Kunikida started to say, but Dazai jerked his head back up. Exhausted yet fiercely focused, half-lidded eyes peered holes through Kunikida, almost startling the usually stoic man out of his kneeled stance in front of him, needle still between two pieces of flesh, ready to tie it back together.

“No, you're absolutely right. If I just stop thinking about it, it will all go away. I will win back my will to live. This aching, gnawing, harrowing emptiness that makes me utterly unable to feel a single thing except for unbearable guilt, will just disappear! The loved ones of those I've tortured and killed will finally be at peace! It won't matter that I've orphaned countless children and simultaneously been the sole reason that the only man that could've saved them was killed-” his voice broke off in an abrupt, pained choke.

Trying to brace himself, he inhaled a sharp shuddering breath. Carefully exhaling, everything shattered again and he was left heaving on the toilet seat, somewhere in between a sob and hyper-ventilating.

“Shit, Dazai... I didn't mean...” Kunikida quickly finished the stitch he had been working on and cut the thread. He backed up, giving the struggling man some space.

“...do you really want to know why I do this to myself?” Dazai asked venomously, crouched down on himself in a way that Kunikida couldn't decide reminiscent a hug or a straight-jacket.

“It's my punishment. These are all my sins. No matter how many scars that litter my body, it will never be enough...” His voice was shaking, fragile and small, struggling to bear.

“I can't keep count of them, just like I lost count of all the people I've hurt... how many families I've destroyed... So, I wear these scars on my sleeves as a constant reminder of what I've done, and it will never be enough... Not until it kills me.”

Kunikida wanted to say something, anything.

...but what was there to say, really? Kunikida knew a thing or two about regret, that much was true. Still, what Dazai had done... What good was a regretful sinner to anyone? Or a dead sinner, for argument's sake...

It wouldn't change the past. It wouldn't change his wrongdoings.

“At least, you're helping people now, Dazai. It won't cancel all the other things out, but it does count for something.”

“...do you know what the worst part is, Kunikida?” Dazai asked, seemingly ignoring the blonde's attempt of encouragement.

“...the worst part is, that... even if what you say is true...” 

He was unable to finish that sentence the way he intended.

Again, Dazai choked on his words. He cleared his throat, fighting back tears (because he didn't deserve to cry- didn't deserve to grieve or morn or feel fucking sorry for himself-) before he was able to force out in a pained whisper, “...it won't bring him back.”

Kunikida had come closer now, leaning down with his hands hovering insecurely over Dazai's battered body, wanting, but lacking the courage to place the comforting touch he so wanted to set on his partner's shoulder.

Suddenly, Dazai yanked his head back up. His expression was tight, and he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. His irises seemed to wobble from unshed tears as he grabbed onto the taller man's shirt.

At the blink of an eye, literally, Dazai's body betrayed him. One tear fell, two tears fell, and finally, the flood gates opened.

Kunikida stared horrified, paralyzed by the rare sight. Dazai was showing real, unfiltered emotions.

Quickly, the idealist shook himself out of his stupified immobilization and pulled the trembling man in, locking his arms around him tightly.

Dazai cried silently. The only sound coming from him was an occasional shuddering heave for air, and Kunikida only tightened his grip around him, whispering repeatedly in his ear that it was okay.

------------------

Kunikida came around his car to help Dazai out. He had reluctantly agreed to use the crutches that Kunikida had found inside the closet in Dazai's bedroom, to ease the pressure on his newly stitched feet. It had been the strict condition for driving him out here instead of to the infirmary.

Dazai stood, heavily leaned on them and peered over the graveyard he had lead them to. Kunikida stood beside him, trying to follow his gaze, which guided him towards an old, weeping willow. Its branches leaned tiredly over a sole gravestone at the absolute edge of the site, with a beautiful outlook over the ocean.

Dazai started to hobble his way towards the tree, the snow dancing around him like angles in an ethereal snowball fight before Kunikida was able to shake himself out of his musings and hurried to catch up to his partner.

“Wait up,” he said, raising his voice slightly before catching up to him. Dazai really didn't need to slow down- the trail was icy and Dazai was clearly struggling to make his way, with the crutches slipping off the path now and then- leaving him looking unstable and clumsy.

But, he didn't look back. He soldiered forward, aimed intently at the modest gravestone under the beautiful tree.

Once there, Dazai let himself crumble to the ground in front of it, reaching inside his pocket and pulling out a lighter. Using his bare hands, he dug out a small lantern from under the snow, and re-lit the light inside of it.

It immediately illuminated their surroundings, giving their evocative spot in the dim graveyard a serene, celestial glow.

Kunikida curiously leaned over to read the writing on the stone. It said Oda Sakunosuke- born October 26th, died January 10th...

...oh.

Reading further, the engraving read in beautiful cursive, “Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans.”

Suddenly, he understood the significance this man had had on Dazai's life.

“It was his last words,” Dazai said calmly, apparently noticing Kunikida reading. “He is the reason I left the Port Mafia, to spend my life in the light.”

Kunikida nodded, captivated by the moment.

“You truly cared about this man, didn't you?” Kunikida stated severely. Dazai gave him a curt nod and concentrated his attention back to the tomb.

“He was a good man,” Dazai confirmed solemnly.

“I'm sure.”

“He...” Dazai started to say, but cut himself off.

Kunikida kept standing behind, watching the wind tearing at his partner's clothes, ruffling his hair in the frigid winter-breeze.

“...yes,” Dazai finally continued. “He was... He was too good for this world.”

The snow shifted behind him. Kunikida lowered into the snow by Dazai's side.

Together, they sat there in comfortable silence, quietly honoring the man's life on the anniversary of his death.

The air was chilly, and Kunikida felt the snow soaking through his trousers, but he was going to keep sitting there for as long as Dazai needed.

After some time, Dazai reached into his pocket and took out a small flask. He opened it, muttering a quiet “Kenpai',” and poured out a small amount onto his friend's grave, before bringing it to his own lips, taking a sip. He passed it along to Kunikida- who was driving, but still accepted it. “Kenpai,” Kunikida repeated with a nod, gesturing towards the grave in a small toast.

The whiskey burned on its way down his throat, warming him up a little.

After their drink, Dazai was finally starting to get up, and Kunikida hurried to his feet to help him out. He handed the crutches over to him and turned to leave.

Dazai stayed back for a moment, smiling faintly at his friends final resting place.

“See you soon, Odasaku,” he murmured silently, bowing his head in respect before following Kunikida's lead.

Kunikida didn't want to think about what he might have meant by that.

Calmly, they walked back towards the car, side by side. Dazai still struggled a bit but was keeping Kunikida's pace never the less.

“Thank you,” Kunikida uttered suddenly, and stopped. Confused, Dazai tilted his head and peered back at him.

“For what?”

“For showing me this. I really appreciate it. I know it's... sacred.”

Dazai lowered his gaze for a moment, before a sad sort of smile appeared on his lips.

“Oda deserves for people to know what a great man he was. I should be better about that, huh?”

Kunikida shrugged. “Maybe so, but I think an even better way to honor his memory, is to stop disappearing for days and hurting yourself. I didn't know Sakunosaku-san, but if he's half the man you claim him to be, I'm sure he wouldn't want that for you.”

Considering this for a moment, Dazai nodded his agreement as if it was a thought that had never occurred to him before.

“Yeah, you're probably right...”

“None of us do,” Kunikida pressed on.

They had arrived back at the car now. Dazai got in, while Kunikida ushered the crutches in the back before getting into the driver's seat.

Longingly, Dazai stared out of the window as they pulled out from the parking lot in front of the graveyard, heading back towards the solitude and pressing atmosphere of the dormitories. 

Somehow, Dazai dreaded it, afraid that his head would spiral back into that dark space. He already envisioned ripping open the countless amount of stitches one by one, fixating the pain from his inside to the outside of his body- letting crimson liquid escape, reminding him of the many screams of his defenseless victims as he stomped their heads onto the pavement and-

“Don't.”

A hand was placed on top of his own, and he realized that he was subconsciously picking at his stitches over the bandages. Dazai blinked several times, surprised that he had let his mask slip.

Kunikida sighed audibly.

“I'm sorry,” Dazai muttered, parting his hands.

“Don't apologize, just... Just don't do that.”

Ashamed of himself, embarrassed about his slip-up, Dazai kept quiet for a long time. The silence in the car felt pressing and uncomfortable- and Kunikida racked his brain for something to say. He didn't want to leave Dazai alone with his thoughts for too long.

“...if you don’t, I'll tape oven mitts to your hands, like a toddler with chickenpox.”

Dazai snorted, willingly taking the bait. 

“Actually, picking at your stitches soften the skin and make it scar less,” Dazai proclaimed matter of factly.

Kunikida side-glanced at his bandaged partner, for once, understanding where this was going-

“You should probably write that down,” Dazai smirked knowingly, receiving a chuckle in response, and a light smack across the head.

#whumptober #scars #no. 16 #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #angst #fluff #fanfiction #more like whumpember at this point #whumptober2019 #whump community #whump #Oda Sakunosuke #hurt/comfort

[hippychick006]

4.15 - Death takes a holiday

Another one under the cut.  This is why Season 4 is taking me so long to get through, there’s a lot going on in each episode.  Overall another good episode that starts out as a MOTW but turns out to be stopping one of the seals.

It’s been a long time since I learned first aid, but I don’t think CPR is the right approach for someone shot point blank range in the heart.  

Oh, he came back to life.  Well what do I know.  Carry on.

Sam and Dean are pretending that the angst of the previous case hasn’t affected them so I guess I’ll go along with it too.

Bobby found the case this time.  People are not dying - along with our buddy shot in the heart, a terminal cancer patient walked out of a cancer hospice so it sounds like their kind of case. 

Oh, I was also wrong about Sam and Dean pretending that everything is okay.  Dean’s holding a grudge.   Siblings!  In fairness to Dean, I’ve been holding a grudge with my sibling since I was 3 year old.

They are interviewing the guy shot in the heart, posing as bloggers “floored by the lord dot com”.  Sam’s taken over from Dean in asking the weird questions department.  “You wouldn't have happened to have swung by a crossroads in the past week or so?” and “Maybe you met someone? With black eyes? Or red?”  They leave pretty quickly after that line of questioning.

They figure out that reapers aren’t taking souls for some reason so decide to talk to the last person who died to see if they can tell them what’s going on.  This involves holding a seance at the grave.

While Sam’s setting up, Dean argues about whether they should be doing this, since what’s the problem if good people don’t die.  Sam responds that it’s the natural order.

DEAN: You don't see the irony in that? I mean, you and me, we're like the poster boys of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death.

SAM: Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they?

Dean laughs, then realises Sam is being serious: “We’re no different than anybody else!”  Sam disagrees and says they are.

They get interrupted and awkwardly try to explain they are not devil worshippers, but luckily it’s just Alastair in a different meat suit.  He TK’s Dean who goes flying into a grave and gets knocked out, and tries the same with Sam who doesn’t move.  Sam TK’s Alastair and presumably goes to exorcise him but Alastair nopes right on out of there.  Wuss.

Back at the motel, Dean’s got a headache from his head connecting with a gravestone.  He asks why Alastair couldn’t fling Sam and Sam acts shifty.  Dean says, “Sam, do me a favor. If you're gonna keep your little secrets, I can't really stop you, but just don't treat me like an idiot, okay?”  Sam tries to deny it, but he’s a terrible liar where Dean is concerned.

Bobby keeps getting mentioned on the cases now and I might have to go back and look at when that started in earnest, because it’s actually annoying now.  Anyway, they figure out they are dealing with one of the seals.  Kill a reaper under the solstice moon which is the following night.

DEAN: How do you ice a reaper? You can't kill death.   Oh Dean, in Season 10, it’ll be as easy as just grabbing his scythe.

Dean comes up with the plan to become ghosts so they can talk to the reapers (who can only see dead people or those near death).  Sam says it’s crazy but goes along with it.

Cue Pamela Barnes for the third time this season.   She seems a little grumpy this time around though.  Can’t say I blame her, do they ever visit just for a beer?

They have an argument with Pamela about the crazy plan, and I’m surprised she didn’t already have this with Dean when he went to pick her up.  After the “end of the world” speech though, she agrees to help and performs the required spell. 

She whispers the incantation to bring them back in Sam’s ear.  I’m not sure how legit it is since it’s “You have got a great ass.”   Sam laughs and Dean wants in on the joke.

Poor boys, you can tell it’s freezing weather filming this one and Sam’s in just a hoody and t-shirt. They almost get run over by a jogger and that’s when Dean decides to see if he can get inside Sam (don’t @ me because that’s what he does, I’m only typing what I see).  Sam however is not in the mood - presumably due to the whole mission thing - so tells Dean to get out of him (again Sam’s words, not mine).  Oh show.

They stumble across the house of the last kid to die in the town who appears to be the only person that can see them so they decide to pay him a visit.

Sam tries to tell the kid, Cole, as nicely as possible that he’s dead, and Cole responds with “no shit Sherlock” - not his exact words since he’s 12, but near enough.

They find out the reaper did visit but was taken by black smoke.  At that point another reaper appears and it’s Tessa from In My Time of Dying, but Dean can’t remember her.  One random kiss later and he has his memories back.  Sam seems a little cold to Tessa, but she did almost take his brother away so I think he can be forgiven.

Dean stays with Tessa while Sam goes to find Cole, who ran away when Tess appeared.  Sam lies to the kid and tells him he can keep the reapers away if Cole will help them.  It’s interesting that Sam can lie with absolute coldness to someone else but not Dean.  The scene between them is heartbreaking, kudos on them both.

Meanwhile, Dean and Tessa have a talk.  The important point of which is that Dean thinks the angels have given him a second chance. Tessa responds mmm hmmm.

Tessa’s grabbed by the black smoke.   They enlist the help of Cole to help them learn how to physically move things and fight so they can go after the demons.  Cole punches them and at first they aren’t going to fight a 12 year old, but after one punch too many, Sam soon forgets that shit and goes in for the hit.  Luckily Cole knows how to doge by becoming invisible and appearing somewhere else, so they ask him to show them that too. 

They turn up at the funeral home (where Cole says he first saw the black smoke). Somebody has went crazy with glow in the dark sigils, which they presume no one else can see.  They tag team a demon and think they’ve got the upper hand, but other demons rush in and surround them with a chain of iron.  And if that works, why don’t they use them instead of rings of salt which blow away in the wind?  I’m confused.

Anyway, it was a trap and Alastair appears (in a different meat suit again) so he has to do the diva eye roll so we know it’s him.  Why can’t he just say “It’s me!” Alastair.”  He shoots Dean with rock salt.  He disappears for a few seconds.  When he reappears, Alastair is taunting Sam, about his mojo not working anymore since Sam’s not in his meat suit.  This news receives a glare at Sam from Dean.  Alastair then shoots Sam this time.

Dean says, “You can shoot us all you want, but you can’t kill us.”

Except Alastair didn’t move up the ranks to become a white eyed demon for nothing.  Cue back to Pamela and she hears a noise.  She gets up to lock the door and realises the window is open when she can feel a breeze.

While Alastair kills the reapers, Sam sees a light fitting above the trap the reapers are held in.  He indicates to Dean and they both concentrate on moving it with their mind.

Cue back to Pamela again who gets attacked by a demon and tries to wake Sam up.

Back at the funeral home, the light finally falls and breaks the trap and Sam, Dean and Tessa disappear, though only Dean and Tessa reappear outside.

Sam has woken up in time to see Pamela get stabbed in the gut and he’s pissed.  The demon is impressively TK’d against the motel door and swiftly exorcised.  Again, I think we’re supposed to see this as a bad thing.  All I see is a dead demon and you’re welcome world.

Sam tries to help Pamela but she can’t die right now due to the reaper situation.

Dean looks for Sam (as he has no idea he’s woken up) and comes across Alastair again who monologues for a minute and then is zapped by lightning.  Dean’s suitably confused until Mr Cryptic in a trench coat appears and explains this was a win because they stopped a seal being broken and captured Alastair.

I was about to start calling Castiel out for being useless and not telling them what they were dealing with the moment they hit town, but Dean’s doing that for me right now.  Turns out, it wasn’t Bobby that gave them the case, it was Castiel pretending to be Bobby.  He didn’t ask directly because they usually do the opposite of what he asks.  And he couldn’t help them in the funeral home because the place is warded against angels.   Fine, I’ll give a free pass this time.

Dean asks that an exception be made to the people that had escaped death and Cass says “To everything there is a season.”  Dean responds that they made an exception for him.  Cass says, “You’re different.”  This echoes what Sam said earlier in the episode, that they weren’t normal, they are different.  Cass disappears in a flash of wings and Tessa appears again asking for Dean’s help.

They go back to Cole’s house where his mother is upset looking through his baby album.  Cole realises they are there for him and that Sam lied about stopping the reapers.  He tells Dean, “Tell your brother, thanks for nothing.”  But between Dean and Tessa, they persuade Cole to move on.

After Cole disappears, Tessa tells Dean to stop lying to himself that the angels have something good in store for him.  She says he should trust his instincts.  She disappears and Pamela wakes him up.

Pamela’s rightly pissed that she’s dying and regrets ever being introduced to them.  She beckons Sam over and whispers to him, “I know what you did to that demon, Sam.  I can feel what’s inside of you.  If you think you have good intentions, think again,”  Sam’s poor face at this, because he wants to believe so much that he can use his tainted blood to do something good.

Pamela dies and Dean asks what she said to Sam.  He looks away.

Well, that was traumatic, and On the Head of a Pin is up next.  Torturer Dean and super powers Sam.  Bring it.

#supernatural #season 4 #rewatch #4.15 #death takes a holiday #episode review

[justtwilightshitposts-blog]

So I got high as fuck and watched Twilight for the first time in 6 years and made a list of the thoughts running through my head. Anyways it’s under the cut, enjoy lol

Dramatic entry....

I don’t understand what she’s saying

Oh my god look at her stupid fucking cactus it’s so small and dumb

Why does she sound so miserable

Charlie her hair?? Really??

How is their house so big with one fucking bathroom

Charlie really had someone else decorate her room omg

Why is he such a good fucking dad. I want to cry

“Still dancin”..... aight, billy 

Jacob looks so fucking angsty

She’s so excited about this huge ugly piece of shit truck how is she straight

Did it ever get explained in the series where the fuck Jacob goes to school

“Nice ride” ahah SOOOO FUNNY

I don’t remember his name but why is he such a try hard

*Ball comes at Bella* bella: fUCK

Jessica: stay the FUCK away from my man

Jessica you weird

Mike stop

Who tf is that dude omg he just took his fucking chair

“FEATURES DEAD, ANGELA”

Oh my god Jess when she says eating disorders aakkskakdn

This background music does not fit the characters

Yeah they live together omg

How convenient. A family full of people who fuck each other except ONE

HIS FUCKING STARE

Why they got a fan in the classroom

No introduction to the new kid? Unrealistic. Blocked.

Stop staring at each other what the shit bruh

Just jump tf out the classroom damn

Edward trying to slam the door omggg

How she gonna know you Santa when you dressed normal, tf

Just grab the ketchup

Jesus Christ just talk to each other

Goodbye cell phone then

Day one and you’re doing homework ok

Why is Edward so fucking cringey

He couldn’t handle it so he just stayed home fucking pussy

They just straight up threw a fucking rock at her

Things were getting strange AFTER he stops going to school hmmmmm?

Seriously their house is good sized

This bitch just fucking ate shit what a clumsy gay

“You’re not in Phoenix anymore”

“I need your playlist”

Why is EVERYONE hitting on Bella. She doesn’t even look straight

“Hello” bruuhhhh

His voice, TF

What is the golden onion

Why does he talk like... that

Bonding over science. Haha. Get it. Bonding

“How’s the weather”

Cold n wet. Cool

He laughin. Lmao

Aw his smile

I feel so awkward watching this conversation

Why doesn’t this bitch just sit tf still Jesus Christ

“Wait hOLD UP why didn’t you go with your mom and Phil just curious haha I’m just trying to analyze you no biggie”

The fluorescents. Walks away. ????

How tf did this mf even manage to almost crash like what. How did it even happen

He out this mf

Everyone just like. Sat there for so long not doing anything??? Then BAM OMG BELLA ALSKAJNCKDO”

Carlisle is so fucking white Jesus

Did she never notice his eyes are the same color as Edwards

Fuckin snitch omg Carlisle is not happy

“Hey ex wife our daughter almost died lol call me back”

They are really just arguing in the middle of the hospital tf?

I was standing right next to you....

why does he look like that

Rude ass tf?

Edgy moon

Tf she dreaming about

Wait so like he didn’t even start out with anything low key he just straight up fucking watched her sleep after knowing her a week

God why does he look like that. All the time

Poor mike oh my god

She’s lived here a week how does she already have plans conveniently the night of prom. Get a better excuse Bella

Recycled tea

Why is he so fucking creepy “what’s in Jacksonville” mf HOW you know

Rude ass again what the shit

Why would Bella care if you go to prom with mike, Jessica

“We shouldn’t be friends” no one said you were???

“Our bus is full” 💀

Call your fucking mother you asshole

Charlie don’t talk about Phil

She just walks tf out lmaoooo

How did anyone NEVER say anything about them NEVER eating lunch

La PUSH

He just bounced a fuckin apple

Stop being so cryptic what the fuck

“Let’s say for arguments sake that I’m not smart” bitch me too the fuck

“What if I’m... the villain” shut up you fucking emo oh my god

Come to the beach lol

This is all so awkward

Why did they like hardly ever show Angela

“You’re a strong independent woman” how do people think she’s straight

“The Cullen’s don’t come here” so fucking dramatic

“Yeah yeah whatever enough of you, what about the CULLENS”

Wait. How long have the Cullen’s been around? How long ago was the treaty made???

This music is so fucking dramatic

Oh no it’s Santa....

These bitches gay as fuck too James looks so fucking gay

How is it the entire time she’s trying to figure out the Cullen’s not ONCE does she question the quilietes being descended from FUCKING WOLVES

All these prom dresses boring as fuck

Like what the fuck even is that material

Jess is fucking... phat

“Sorry I don’t do prom dresses I just like really wanna go to this bookstore”

I don’t even want to know what would have happened if Edward didn’t come get her from these creeps...

She legit is about to get gang raped and like. No one ever said anything about this guys what the fuck

Why does Edward look like a fucking crack addict

“Sorry I just REALLY wanna murder these guys”

You should put YOUR seat belt on

“Yeah were gonna do everything that consists of a date but it’s not a date ok?”

No way that tiny bitch is gonna eat that whole ass plate

I’m gonna make sure YOU eat but I won’t alright?

Fucking math nerd

How DID he know she was there???

“I feel very protective of you even though I’ve known you for like less than a month”

He can read minds it’s no biggie

“Cat” bitch me too!!!

I can’t read YOUR mind tho sorry

Wait so why are certain vampires given gifts?

I don’t wanna stay away from you anymore lol

Ooooo our dads are here

“Animal attack” *GLARE*

“Idk what to say I’m so sorry”

Charlie STOP MY HEART IS FUCKING BREAKING

Animals are attacking and you give her pepper spray?

Why tf did they roll his whole ass body out in plain view why the hell was he not in a body bag!!!!

“Oh OKAY everything is starting to come together”

What is this dramatic dream where he’s all emo drinking her blood what the fuck is happening

“Follow me into the woods just trust me”

I don’t find it believable that he speaks like he’s from a different time. His dialect would change with time. Imagine him in 2018 fuckin yeet this and dab that lmaoooo

Why when he runs his legs move and nothing else

How fast are they even going

Diamonds are a girls best friend. And vampires.

“I’m a killer” on cool aha I’m just chillin alone in the woods with u haha no biggie

Why are you being so dramatic Edward

He just yeeted that fucking rock lol

“I’ve never wanted to kill anyone until you”

You’re my drug....

his voice is cracking me tf up

“I’m not afraid of you I’m afraid of losing you” you fucking emo

I want to die

I zoned out an all I heard was “sick masochistic lion” .... alright

Let’s just lay in the grass in the middle of the fucking woods it’ll be cute!!!

Do they just. Stare at each other and not talk...

Why do they use sound effects for his skin lmao

“My crush is a vampire lol ❤️”

What’s Monte Carlo

Everyone is staring lmaoooo

The siblings are not happy lmao

Why would you turn someone into a vampire like there is no logical reason to be like “you’re dying so I’m gonna make you live FOREVER”

They’re just chillin in the rain lmao

Literally tho like being a vampire would be pointless and fucking torture Jesus Christ why would you force that on a dying person

“Wanna meet the fam lol jk u have no choice”

The fucking stare down between Edward and Jacobs dad I’m fucking deceased

“Just keepin it real, son” broooo

Does anyone remember at one point in this series Edward and Jacob just fucking switched Bella off like what the shit was that was I just hallucinating

They cooked for her :(

How long has it been since they cooked

Esme is my soul mate

We NEVER use the kitchen

Jesus CHRIST Rosalie chill the FUCK out

Calm down you FUCKING drama queen

Please don’t kill me lol

Alice you Sapphic ass coming in on a fuckin tree branch

“Bella and I are gonna become great friends” does... does she KNOW. You know bc she can see the future

Alice is so cheery oh god

I too would be dramatic enough to frame all of my several graduation caps

I don’t... sleep

Like he doesn’t even need a chair like their legs never get tired. If they wanted to they could just stand every second of every day

Edward it is the 21st century catch up on the tunes, man

The face she made when he twirled her lmaooo

“I’ll MAKE you dance” .... alright

Why did they like. Move midair

This tree jumping shit just does not look scientifically accurate

“This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist” ... the woods?

Let’s sit in a fucking tree and just talk forever

I wonder who wrote the song Edward wrote. It’s actually... good???

Why is the footprint on top of this fucking mound of dirt lol

Hey hey you You I don’t like your boyfriend

I would kill for Charlie

No one like ACTUALLY questions why a HUMAN foot print is found in the murder scene

“Go SOCIALIZE”

He just fucking comes out of nowhere fuck

How much time does this movie take the course over “only the last couple months” ????

“There’s always something I wanted to try” *kisses bella* you gonna tell me you’re 100+ years old and a virgin???????

This kissing scene must have been so awkward

He just fucking. Zooms back into the wall

Does Charlie not hear any of this???

Edward. She needs to sleep bro

I’m sorry but if my partner never slept I would never sleep with them like don’t fucking watch me sleep the shit???

He just fucking loves his gun

What is he doing over his head ??

We’re just gonna play a family game of baseball lol

Charlie cares so much :(

Charlie doesn’t even question that they’re going to play baseball in a thunderstorm

The baseball scene is in my top iconic scenes in cinematic history

Why do they keep the field so small if they hit the ball so far ???

Emmet my fuckboy baby

When emmet and Edward collide. Iconic.

These gay ass Mfers and their dramatic entrances

Why is putting her hair up going to help. It’s not her hair they smell it’s her blood? Right??

Vampires just go around claiming territory??

All around America??

James knows

Why do they hiss....

The fucking Cullen clan all just bend their knees and hiss like what the shit

“I can buckle MYSELF Edward”

This all went 0-100 real quick

Edward step up your acting game. Monotone ass mf

Charlie is so fucking confused

What even is she grabbing

Ok but Charlie’s so supportive of her and like all he cares about is her being safe oh my god

And he never knows that she didn’t mean any of what she said :((((((

That would fucking kill me oh my god poor Charlie

When they land on her truck... where are they coming FROM...

“Her kind” ... gingers?

Rosalie has a point...

Laurent was just a third wheel

Why do they drive so fast

How the hell was Bella even going to explain this to her mom??? What was her plan.

James.... Jesus your fucking face...

How did he get into the high school

You fucking dumbass you just gonna. Fight a fucking vampire? What is her plan? Fight him? Show up and take her mom and get out???

Also how did she even sneak past Alice and jasper

Wait how did he get this video

You dumb as shit bitch!!!

You can’t fight a vampire the fuck!!!

Why is the part where James shoved Edward against the mirror so sexually tense

This whole fucking ballet studio scene is just too dramatic

Why is she convulsing tho. Is that how it is when you turn into a vampire??? You fucking have a seizure???

Alice fucking SNAPPED

This whole series could have ended right here if they just let her fucking change into a vampire right then and there

Shut the fuck up and suck, Edward

Why her face look like.... that

Carlisle just PUSH HIM

Why are the tubes like ON her eyeballs

Edward sleeping... ha

The whole falling down the stairs bullshit story is so fucking ridiculous lmaoooo

“You’re texting” this movie is so old

Which leg is broken???

I almost killed you lol sorry. Also get the fuck out of Forks

Bella: *insert lady from lipstick in valentino bag vine*

Ok so her right leg is in the cast but in the hospital she was chillin in the bed with her right leg bent?

Jacob where did you come from lmao

“My dad paid me to come talk to you”

“Also you need to break up with your boyfriend”

The instant tension between Edward and Jacob and Bella is so fucking oblivious

“The wolves descend” REALLY EDWARD

Was their senior prom ever mentioned in the series???

She’s so fucking short omg

This music: A++

No seriously what is with everyone’s dresses being so ugly

“I want you always” bitch you just met like 2 months ago???

Bella is so desperate for the dick that she wants to become a fucking vampire

She actually thought he was gonna bite her at prom lmao????

They kiss so awkwardly

Victoria looks so jealous

And hot

Where is she going

Oh it’s over ok cool gn

#my post #twilight #bella swan #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #rosalie hale #rosalie cullen #emmet cullen #jasper cullen #alice cullen #twilight saga #humor

[dragonologist-phd]

Breathe So Deep

For the @pillarspromptsweekly topic “Versatility”- or, what happened when my Ranger decided to learn how to punch people. Also posted on AO3.

Rudi was pretty sure she was dying.

“You’re not dying,” Eder said, exasperated. “You just spent an hour getting the stuffing beat out of you because you’re wearing the wrong armor. I warned you this would happen.”

Moving was excruciating, but Rudi garnered all of her remaining energy to raise a middle finger in Eder’s direction. He just laughed.

“Dick.”

To Eder’s credit, he took the insult in stride. “How about we call it good for today? We can try again another time. Maybe when you’re wearing some real armor.”

Rudi groaned, pulling herself off of the floor. She was exaggerating a little- this certainly wasn’t the worst she had ever felt. But it was a helluva lot worse than she was expecting this training to be.

“You know I can’t move around in that clunky stuff.”

Eder shrugged. “Well, you either gotta wear the armor or take the hits.”

“Isn’t whole point of fighting not getting hit?”

“No, that’s why they invented shields. Which you also refuse to use.” Eder’s amusement was evident in his voice. “I don’t really know what you were expecting to happen here.”

“Oh, go bench-press a boulder or something.” In her tired state, Rudi’s insults lacked her usual bite. She did, however, earn a chuckle from Eder.

“You don’t have to put yourself through this, you know. Why are you aching to brawl all of a sudden?”

Rudi shrugged and looked away. “You know me. I’m an asshole who wants to hit things.”

“Sure.” Eder didn’t sound totally convinced, but he let it slide. “Same time next week?”

Rudi’s muscles screamed in protest at the mere thought of more of this torture, but she was far too stubborn to turn him down. “You bet. Once I get the hang of this, I’ll wipe that smug look off your face.”

Truthfully, the whole stupid idea had started when Sol got his foot stuck in a clamp trap during a fight in the Russetwood. Rudi was more than confident in her ability to defend herself- and she had a reputation throughout the Dyrwood to back that up- but she hadn’t quite realized just how much that ability depended on a lion standing between her and her enemies. As deadly as Rudi’s bow and arrows were, they weren’t much use against a foe standing only a foot away and swinging a sword.

Rudi had hit the ground, bleeding and uselessly trying to string her bow before another strike could fall. Sol had still tried to protect her, of course. He’d ripped himself free of the trap and thrown himself back in the fight as soon as he saw his master fall, despite his injured paw. If Pallegina hadn’t been watching their backs… well, it had been far too close a call for Rudi’s liking.

As soon as they returned to Caed Nua, Rudi had enlisted Eder’s help in training.

As time passed and no noticeable improvement was made, Rudi’s patience began to thin.

Eder was a good teacher, but his method relied on armor and heavy weapons and a shield fashioned from a reinforced door, for crying out loud. Rudi couldn’t lug around a shield in addition to her bow and quiver of arrows. She couldn’t scout or stealth in stiff, heavy armor.

But she also couldn’t sit with the knowledge that she was helpless without her bow, so she kept returning to the training grounds to get her ass kicked.

Rudi ducked as Eder’s wooden training sword whistled over head, barely missing her. She took advantage of the situation to charge him, but he thrust his shield forward to block her. Unable to halt herself, Rudi smacked into the large shield. Her own training sword crashed to the ground, leaving her hand ringing from the impact.

Shit!

She lost her footing for a moment, and before she knew it Eder’s wooden sword had swing back around and caught her in the stomach, sending her sprawling to the floor.

Again.

Rudi groaned as she sat up, wincing at new bruise in her side. Eder leaned over, holding out a hand. “You alright? Maybe we should finish up for today…”

Rudi swatted the offered hand away in irritation. She grabbed her sword and heaved herself up, getting back into sparring position. “One more time. I need to get this right!”

Eder sighed and shook his head. “We keep trying this, but I just don’t think it’s gonna work.”

“Why not? I’m following your instructions.”

“No, you’re not. You won’t use the right equipment, and it’s messing you up. You get distracted, then angry, and then you fall apart.”

Rudi bit down on her lip to keep from yelling something she would later regret. She knew she shouldn’t lose her temper over this- especially on Eder, who was remarkably patient.

But she needed to learn this, and she couldn’t, and that was seriously pissing her off.

Taking in her frustrated expression, Eder sighed. “I wish I could tell you something different but…the truth is, I don’t really see you becoming a fighter anytime soon. Sorry.”

After that disaster of a training session, Rudi found herself making her way to the stone amphitheater. Sol liked to nap in the sun there- she would sit with him for a while, and hopefully that would calm her down.

She did find Sol there, but to her surprise he wasn’t alone- Zahua was sitting beside him, staring unblinking into the sun as he slowly stroked Sol’s mane. He didn’t acknowledge Rudi until Sol jumped up and padded over to her. That must have broken his concentration- he blinked slowly and turned to smile at her.

“Ah, the young Watcher. How goes your training?”

“It doesn’t,” Rudi replied flatly. She scratched Sol’s ears, earning a low, approving rumble from the lion.

“You’re quitting?”

“No,” Rudi snapped automatically. She hesitated, gnawing on her lip. “Well, yeah. Maybe. I’m not getting any better. I think I’m actually getting worse.”

Zahua regarded her for a moment. “Perhaps you should join me tomorrow in my meditations. I would be willing to share my knowledge and skills.”

Surprise kept Rudi from answering for a few moments. Zahua’s style was…intense, to say the least. If she couldn’t handle Eder’s training, she didn’t even want to think about Zahua’s.

But right now, it seemed her only other option was quitting, and Rudi hated quitting.

“First tell me- is this ‘meditation’ one of those freaky torture things you enjoy so much?”

The nice thing about Zahua was that Rudi never had to worry about offending him. His smile only widened. “My particular practices, valuable as they are, are perhaps not suited for one not of the clan. Tomorrow will be a simple meditation, to clear the mind as dawn clears the night.”

“And is that just code for ‘doing whiteleaf while everyone else is asleep’?”

Zahua considered that for a while. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and at last he said, “Not necessarily.”

Not exactly promising, but at this point, Rudi was willing to try anything.

Despite what Zahua had told her, Rudi was still surprised to find that his meditation was actual meditation.

She met him as instructed in the Caed Nua gardens just before dawn, sleepy-eyed but determined. Zahua was already sitting contentedly when she arrived. His legs were crossed and his eyes were closed, and Rudi honestly wasn’t sure if he was meditating or sleeping.

“Sit with me,” he said as she approached, not opening his eyes. Huh. He actually was meditating.

Rudi obliged, copying his stance and closing her eyes. She didn’t feel nearly as confident as Zahua looked. “Um… what do I…?”

“Your goal is to detach yourself from this world. Clear your mind and forget your body. The rest will follow with time.”

“Just this once, could you actually explain what you mean?” Rudi pleaded. “It’s a little too early for me to follow this cryptic stuff.”

“Either you will understand or you will not. More talking will make no difference. Our breath is better served breathing.”

Rudi huffed but closed her eyes and did her best to clear her mind. It was difficult- trying to deliberately not notice things went against her nature. The nearby sounds of nature, the feel of the wind, the urge to open her eyes and check her surroundings- rather than fade with meditation, it all seemed to amplify.

Focus, she snapped at herself, but it was hopeless. She couldn’t clear her mind, and frankly, she didn’t see the point of it. This wasn’t going to help her defend herself any better. And next time she was caught unprepared in close combat, someone was going to get hurt. Probably her, but possibly one of her friends, or- Gods forbid- Sol. All because she couldn’t-

“You are not following instructions.”

“Dammit,” Rudi muttered. She opened her eyes and leaned back on the grass, glaring at the sky. She felt like she’d been sitting here for hours, but the sun still wasn’t up. She could feel Zahua watching her. “I really am trying. But I don’t know how to clear my mind.”

“Of course you know how,” Zahua said. “Everyone knows how. You only need to discover where that knowledge lies within you.”

“Zahua, I don’t know what the fuck that means.”

“Do you not harness your focus as you fight?”

“Sure, but my mind’s not clear when I’m firing arrows,” Rudi said with a frown. “I notice everything. That’s what long-range attackers are supposed to do.”

“Exactly,” Zahua said unfazed. “When you fight with your arrows, do you put all of your focus onto one single target? Or do you take in every target, every threat, every change in your environment? This is the difference between a distracted mind and a clear one.”

“Shouldn’t that be opposite?”

Zahua shook his head. “When I clear my mind, I am not devoid of thought. I am simply able to process my thoughts without the haze of emotion.” He smiled at Rudi, as if he was making perfect sense. “This is why I thought this style would suit you. These Dyrwoodans are effective, but preoccupied with what is in front of them. You and I, we approach the battle from a distance.”

“Do we?” Rudi asked, skeptical. “You fight by punching, Zahua. You’re about as much in the thick of things as you can get.”

“My body is.” Zahua agreed. “But is my mind?”

He paused, and Rudi wasn’t sure if he wanted an answer or not. The silence continued to stretch out, and she finally said, uncertainly, “…no?”

Rather than respond to her answer, Zahua closed his eyes. “Let us continue our meditation. Copy my breathing, and trust yourself.”

Rudi was lost as ever, but she acquiesced. She copied Zahua’s posture once more, and tried to remember his advice. This time, instead of fighting against the noises and feelings of everything around her, Rudi followed her instincts. She listened to world around her, and as the minutes passed she grew used to the rhythms of her surroundings.

And in a strange way, Zahua’s words began to make sense. The meditation was reminiscent of the long hunting trips she took back home- the endless hours of moving through the wilderness, taking in the prey and predators around her, at one with the hunt.

When Rudi opened her eyes again, she was surprised by how high the sun had risen.

Of course, it couldn’t all be meditations and sunrises. The time came when once again, Rudi had to endure sparring sessions.

Zahua, however, eschewed the training swords in favor of simple hand-to-hand. As always, he wore little in the way of armor. This was a small comfort to Rudi- at least there would be no concern over heavy metal weighing her down.

And yet the training was more ruthless than anything Eder had put Rudi through.

“Fuck!” Rudi yelped, cradling her bruised arm. “That’s gonna hurt for weeks!”

“Of course it will hurt.” Zahua’s eyes seemed to burn as he stared Rudi down.  His fists were raised, ready to lash out again at any moment. They had barely started the session and he’d landed countless blows against her, while Rudi was barely able to stay on her feet as he danced around her.

“Our way is not comfortable. Nothing worthwhile in this world is comfortable. We do not do this because it is easy. We do this because we must.” He lunged forward, but Rudi managed to dodge out of the way. She swung out, managing to graze him with her fist. He took her strike with a grin. He lunged again, this time managing to grapple Rudi and trap her in a hold.

Rudi threw her weight forward to try and break the hold, but Zahua held fast. “You will not succeed in these methods until you embrace what must be endured. I know why I must do this. Do you?”

Rudi struggled to free herself, but Zahua’s grip was iron. She was left to consider his questions. She still didn’t understand Zahua’s philosophy- his journey for perfection had never made sense to her. But she did understand the need to hold on to something important, the last thing he had of his home.

“I’m doing this because there are things I need to protect,” she said, breathing heavy. “And I can’t do that if I can’t protect myself.”

“And this is something you will suffer for?”

Rudi was almost afraid to answer, but she took a deep breath and steeled herself. “Yes.”

“Then do not focus on the pain. You have already decided you can accept the pain. Clear your mind. Forget your body. See the battlefield from afar. See how everything is connected. See how you can use the pain.”

That’s not helpful! Rudi thought, but she bit back a barbed retort and tried to go back to that space she was in during meditation. She tried to step out of her body, take in the sensations, and trust herself. And to her own immense shock, a sudden flash of clarity came. Rudi sensed the weakness in Zahua’s hold, and could see in her mind how she could twist and break his grasp. It would mean straining-possibly dislocating- her already aching shoulder, but it was the only way.

So Rudi gritted her teeth and shoved herself to the side.

It worked- Zahua’s hold broke, and although Rudi’s shoulder was screaming in protest she was able to whip around and kick his feet out from under him. Despite the pain, Rudi barked out a laugh. This was the first time she’d held the advantage over somebody in close combat. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

Zahua leapt back to his feet, grinning maniacally. “Now we’re having some fun!”

Afterwards, they did smoke some whiteleaf.

Sol was curled up at Rudi’s feet. She wondered how much the lion truly understood about their lives. Did he realize how far they were from their home back on the Plains? Did he wonder what happened to the village they left behind? Did he keep count of how many times they’d both nearly died this past year?

Sol yawned, looking for all the world like a careless, sleepy cat. Rudi wondered just how fast-acting this stuff was.

“It relaxes the muscles,” Zahua claimed. “Very important after a sparring session. It is also good for meditation.”

Rudi wasn’t sure how seriously to take him, but for once, she decided not to question his methods. Despite her tired, aching muscles, Rudi thought her journey to monkhood might not be all that bad.

#pillars prompts weekly #pillars of eternity #due to internet problems and my inability to stick to a minimum length #this came out a tad late #poe fanfic #watcher rudi #rudi #this is my first fic for rudi she turned out to be a lot of fun to write #and weirdly enough so did zahua #warning for drug use i guess #its fantasy pot but still #drug use #zahua #poe fic #fanfic #fic: rudi #ch: rudi

[anxiety-musings]

Mother

Well... I intended angst, then fluff happened. I did not sign up for this shit! This is also my first piece in months so please, be kind!

Summary: You were once an agent for the British Men of Letters until you moved to America and went radio silent with information you never disclosed. 

Pairing: There is one but it’s a surprise!

Warnings: Fluff - I didn’t want that - I wanted to come back and tear out all of your hearts. I may write part 2 and ruin everything, don’t trust me >:)

Tags: @eyeofdionysus @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @spnashley @manawhaat@bkwrm523 @mysupernaturalfics @aprofoundbondwithdean @faith-in-dean@lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @mamapeterson @writingthingsisdifficult@teamfreewillimagines @oriona75 @littlegreenplasticsoldier @but-deans-back-tho @helvonasche @lovemydean-o-saur @sis-tafics

The wheels screeched as you sped down the road. You fell asleep in the backseat, your computer on your lap, halfway through research. The next diner charged you and your computer once more. The next town allowed you to wash your clothes and buy healthier food. Then once more, the wheels screeched. This had been your life since you could remember, the light of the sunrise hit your eyes and you sat up. Looking to your phone you registered the date and took a drink of water before stretching and getting ready for your next day of travelling. You looked to your money stash and sighed, it was getting low which meant soon you’d have to pick up a few shifts at a no name bar. The only break in your routine.

An image flashed in your mind as you reached for the door handle, you had just stepped off the plane with your accepted citizenship application. The British Men of Letters had tried to block your move but you had friends higher up who pulled strings. It took three days for you to go off the grid to the MoL. Three more and you had settled into your routine. A monotonous routine kept you safe, it kept you bored. You slipped into the driver’s seat and began driving nowhere. The next town you reached could barely be called that. It had a diner, a motel, one shop and a petrol station. There were no more than twenty houses and as you pulled in eyes were on you. Stepping into the shop you bought some fruit, vegetables and water. You filled your car and left, this town felt wrong. Too many gaunt faces stared at you, their eyes yellowed and their teeth blackened. As you continued your phone rang, it caused you to jump as you stared at the number on the screen. It took you a moment before you answered, holding the phone to your ear as you drove down the empty road.

“Agent Hartley?” the caller spoke, a name you hadn’t used in years. “Thank you for answering the phone,” you continued driving while trying to place the voice. “We’ve been looking for you for a number of years. Got this number from a dead man, he was sweet on you.”

You pressed your foot to the floor, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t even know who you are,” you snapped annoyed at the cryptic way the caller spoke, “speak plainly or don’t speak at all.”

“I can’t believe you forgot your partner so readily,” the voice feigned hurt before speaking with a darker tone, “I am going to find you, and you are going to tell me exactly what you have hidden from the Men of Letters. You can thank those Winchester brothers for me finally finding your phone number. Who knew Sam would consider you ‘Travelling Molly’. His little code would have worked if he hadn’t written it down.”

You ended the call and swore, throwing the phone out of your car window. The next few weeks of your routine kept you on edge. You reached a town, miles from any other with plenty of amenities. When you took a job in the bar they gave you a room and you kept your head down. While completing your usual duties in the bar you felt uneasy, hands grabbed you from behind covering your mouth and yanking your arms behind your back. As a set of cuffs clicked onto your wrists you looked back to see your ex-partner smirking and holding his official-looking badge. You were pulled out of the bar and lead into a car, your partner drove and pulled into a solitary house.

You were pulled inside and strapped to a chair in the house, your partner stood watching you, taking a photo and waiting. He stared at you as you looked around the room, the overwhelming smell of damp coupled with copper filled your nose. You checked your watch and waited, unfortunately you knew all of the MoL’s interview techniques. The ring you wore on your right hand began feeling heavy, the Men of Letters’ emblem carved into the side caught your eye, distracting you as you heard heavy foot falls coming down the stairs. Your ex-partner pulled out his bronzed knuckle dusters as your old boss came into view, he walked past your partner as if he didn’t exist. Your boss’ hands cupped your face as a soft smile played on his lips, he straightened and walked past you. There was a rustling behind you before a headset was placed on you and carefully attached, your boss hooked it up to a machine and turned it on to monitor your brain activity.

“Now we can begin,” he smiled and looked down to you, “tell me what you’re hiding.”

“I am not hiding anything from you, sir.” you sighed as the machine made a loud buzzer-like noise, revealing your lie, “really?”

“You’re a very good liar. This machine was designed for you. Now tell me Y/N, how did you know the Winchesters?” he asked.

You sighed, “Sam and I slept together. He was good and we kept in touch.” you smiled at the memories as the machine made a positive noise.

“Disgusting,” your ex-partner muttered.

Rolling your eyes you looked to him, “And you’re still a terrible liar. So what did you do to Sam?”

Your boss chuckled, “He’s alive for now. Answer our questions and you’ll be taken home. Refuse and we’ll begin to convince you.” He stated and turned on a video feed showing a beaten Sam, slumped in a chair.

You watched the feed as Sam was tortured, “Why?”

“Because I know you Y/N.” your boss smirked, “and you care far too much.”

“Fine. Let him go and I’ll tell you what you want to know,” you bargained.

Your boss laughed, “Tell us what we want to know and you won’t be delivered to him half dead so he can hold you as the life leaves you.”

Your eyes met your boss’ as you heard the click of a gun. Without having to look you knew your ex-partner was holding his gun at you. After a few minutes you sighed and leaned back, “God is real.”

“We learned that,” your boss hissed and gripped your throat, “What aren’t you telling us.”

“He made a new kind of angel, there are three.” you gasped out, “They’re being called Guardian. And you can’t kill them.”

Your boss stared in confusion, “why should we care?”

“Because God took a leaf out of Lucifer’s book, these angels aren’t like the others. They’re too human,” you gasped as his grip tightened. “They have powers similar to archangels, and more than anything… they are protected.”

Your boss rolled his eyes, dropping you and turning around, “I wasn’t hiding from you,” you gasped out as the bindings holding you snapped. “But you broke my schedule.”

“Schedule?” your boss laughed before seeing the broken bindings and pausing.

You laughed, “Oh that angel shit was bull. I was stalling,” you ripped the headset off of your head. Your partner pulled the trigger before screaming, the gun backfiring. “I didn’t lie about everything… I am protected, and so is the information I hold. Now I’d recommend running before its too late.”

“Who do you think you are to threaten me!” your boss yelled, pulling an angel blade and running at you.

“The newest prophet,” you hissed as the world turned white and you woke in a new place, gentle hands tucking a blanket over you.

“They’re alive. Sam is free, and you are a pain in the ass,” the voice of your friend sounded, “You know you need to be careful.”

You nodded as a soft voice sounded, “Momma, what happened?”

“Daddy had to collect mommy,” you smiled and reached to your little girl, she smiled and ran over, diving into your arms as you wrapped her in your arms looking up to your ‘friend’.

He chuckled and leaned down to you kissing you as his grace reached out to your stomach, “Our little ones are all healthy,” he chuckled and kissed your daughter’s hair.

The light surrounding you made you feel welcome and safe. Your lover smiled to you as his wings stretched, your daughter copying her father. He walked over to you and you felt hands stretch you out, your wings were considerably smaller than your lover’s and even your child’s. Your arms wrapped around the young girl as she giggled, her laughter brightening the room.

“How long until she can come with me?” you asked sadly, “I hate leaving her here. She deserves to explore!”

“Until the threat to her is less than her powers. Father broke all of his rules making you an angel, you were supposed to be a prophet, not my mate,” your angel sighed, “However, even Father saw the need for new archangels.”

You nodded and kissed your daughter’s head before he took your hand and kissed your cheek. You appeared in the Bunker where Sam, Dean, Mary and Castiel stood, he left and as the world darkened to typical earth levels the four were staring.

“Was that Gabriel?” Castiel’s voice gasped out.

#writing #stretch those writing muscles #fluff #angels #angel #mol #Men of Letters #Supernatural #SPN #what do I say here again? #fuck it #no one reads these #if you have read this far #... #you deserve a cookie #treat yo self