#and I'm just now starting to use this again
this is a question for all of the marvel/avengers/tfatws/bucky/etc etc stans out there.
as someone who is new to this fandom I have a question regarding our boyfriend mr sebastian stan
do we know if the man can carry a tune? sing a little song?
and I’m not just talking about “hungry eyes”, I’m talking damn son sing me to sleep because.... a girl would love to know
anyway... get back to me <3
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between having hardly any spoons and being paranoid that i'm broke after nearly overdrawing my account a few weeks ago for the first time in years, i havent really been eating right (or enough) and ugh i'm just so tired of it. i've been living off of pb&js and whatever i can scrape together for dinner. im so tired
So, my roommate is currently having a video-call coloring session with her grandma. They both went out and bought coloring books (plus crayons) just for this new thing of theirs.
Keshonna bought several coloring books, one of them animal-themed. Her grandma has an animal coloring book as well, so Keshonna decided to use the animal coloring book since her granny's coloring an animal picture. So they could
Not only that, but she had her grandma pick which animal she should color.
It's all so fucking adorable. Literally one of the most adorable things I've experienced in my life.
i hate that whenever I deactive my Instagram my friends be like "are you okay? what's going on????" like bitch I'm just trying to make more time to myself instead of spending it scrolling through people's fake lives it's not the end of the world
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become a professional voice actor
land a role as an anime character with a fandom large enough to give it fanfiction
record podfics of said fanfiction
make a voice actor twitter where i talk about voice acting and fandom
when people say, “wow you have a really good impression of [character whose voice i literally dub]!! wait are you the va??” i just go “thanks i try my best :)”
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Turning your phone off sure is good for anxiety huh
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I think Ch 20 can be broken up like this:
Turns 1-4: Operation Graveyard
Turns 5-9: The Front Gate Lever
Turns 10-14: The Wall levers and survival
Turns 15-19: Finally the reinforcements are on MY side! Freeing the Arena
Turns 20-24: The Great Crossing (tm)
Turns 25-29: Save Emmie???
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Last Resort - Chapter 1
Fandom: The Maze Runner
Pairing: Thomas x Newt
Warnings: ex boyfriends, AU
Summary: Three years after breaking up with Thomas, Newt finally thought the past of hating each other was behind them, until Thomas asked him for a favour - pretend they got back together for a week while staying at his parents’ home. Because it was an absolutely dumb idea, Newt was inclined to refuse, but then found himself in the house he used to visit when he was in love and happy and the bitter reality of only pretending for people he always liked made him miserable. But it was nothing against dealing with Thomas himself for a week straight and trying not to fall back in love that hurt them both.
Or: Prompt ch. 192 with added spice. Or something. I just needed to write for a while :’)
Can be found on Ao3.
Notes: I think I never did so much rewriting like I did with this chapter. I'm still not satisfied with it, but I swear my brain just can't come up with anything else. Scrapped like 6 pages asdfjslfjslfjsdl. Now it's short :c
Anyway, guess I just wanted a bit of Thomas' insight for it. He's complicated lol. Or maybe not really, just trying to keep up. Don't we all though lol.
Oh and @izzymultifan (actually remembered)
Thomas woke up disoriented, thirsty and definitely not rested enough, like when his alarm goes off on a workday and he only slept for four hours. But here was no alarm, no work, just him waking up with a flinch and realizing he wasn’t in his flat, and he wasn’t alone either.
The blond hair right in his face immediately pushed him into realization he was holding onto Newt like he was his lifeline, one hand under the shirt on his belly, other on his chest clutching the fabric, and an unmistakable morning hello tenting his pants, digging right into Newt’s backside. In retrospect there wasn’t much worse Thomas could have done to him, except maybe having a hand down his pants (which admittedly he used to do sometimes when they were together, but then again, that situation definitely didn’t scream murder like it would now).
In a sleepy confusion that hazed his just-woken-up-brain he searched the foggy memory on how this situation came to be, no matter how familiar it felt to him. Newt made himself pretty clear about sleeping together, so the sudden closeness – well, more like an absolute merge, unless he’d slip in – no, no dirty thoughts, bad Thomas, bad – didn’t make much sense.
The night came back to him embarrassingly slow – he got drunk because for some reason his dad decided to decimate his super precious whiskey, even though normally he hoarded it like a dragon his gold. He could only think of Newt being the incentive, drinking the whiskey so fast in his dad’s eyes, while Thomas downed it all to save him from barfing (Newt’s alcohol tolerance never existed in the first place, he disliked about any kind of it, and as far as Thomas remembered he got drunk only once with vodka mixed with orange juice on Aris’ wedding, because he could barely taste the vodka in it until it was too late). Then the world started spinning, Newt dragged him to his room somehow… which sounded farfetched, so maybe dad helped, he drew blank around that area honestly, probably because he stood up and all the alcohol began circulating faster. Then they talked… probably, and then Thomas fell asleep, since that’s all he could recall.
And now his hard-on was trying to get some, and he held Newt against himself with sheer ferocity of an obsessive hugger off his meds and the realization dawned on him like tons of bricks. Was he going to wake him up if he let go? Newt always woke up at the slightest noise before, there was no way of going to pee at night without getting back to the blond blinking owlishly at him, asking what happened. Was this Newt he barely knew anymore still the same? Still twitchy and light sleeper and grumpy and slow to rise when getting up?
Thomas didn’t have much choice anyway, did he. He just had to let go either way, and preferably remove his hips from Newt’s back and act like it was no biggie to be hard when in bed with his ex. He slowly untangled his hand from the front of Newt’s shirt and retreated from under the shirt as well with the other hand and managed to roll onto his back without Newt visibly stirring, which was a success. Unless he pretended to be asleep to avoid talking to Thomas about pushing into him like a horny teenager, which also worked.
Not like he hadn’t been doing that in the last month of their relationship anyway, just... ignoring the problem until it went away (a problem named Thomas) and well, ultimately it succeeded. It would work now too, and Thomas refused to poke the wasp nest this early in the morning – judging from the clock at 8:04 – and just went with the flow.
Need coffee, he thought unhappily when the headache set in. And water. Maybe some alone time in a bathroom first.
Newt didn’t stir until Thomas slinked out of the bedroom, which was a complete lie.
“Dad, just drop it,” Thomas repeated for fourth time when his dad couldn’t stop haggling him about his childlike alcohol tolerance the moment he appeared in the kitchen, asking for black coffee. He couldn’t tell him he drank Newt’s portions and without that argument nothing would sound plausible anyway, so he just dodged it with an increasing headache. Newt got up about half an hour later and didn’t speak a word to him – Thomas would even say he avoided his eyes several times, which meant he was absolutely awake in the morning to witness all of Thomas’ struggle to even exist around him peacefully. Which he couldn’t for years, really, so this only proved it.
It was fine. Thomas learned how to deal with it, despite taking him two years to come in terms of being hated by a person he loved since he was 17. Well, everything around the breakup took a lot from him, but he dealt with all eventually, right? He could finally look Newt in the eye without having all the incoherent anger and frustration pile up and he could talk to him fine as well unless they breached one of the thousand forbidden topics. Like them. Like family. Like love. Like sleeping. Like breathing, existing and fucking just trying to live.
Anyway. All dealt with, of course. No hard feelings.
(Lots of them.)
“You dealt with the drunkard just fine, right Newt?” his dad chattered towards the blond, patting him on his back and Newt forced a smile and a nod. Thomas saw this particular expression too often to not recognize it and huffed while sitting down at the counter with his own coffee.
He was used to being a bad guy anyway, no matter how much of the blame he genuinely deserved. They both knew he didn’t get drunk because he wanted to get wasted enough to drop unconscious on a spot and Newt would be a hypocrite to badmouth him when he was pouring all his whiskey to Thomas’ glass with thankful expression yesterday. But then again, not even he could tell Thomas’ dad about it, so they just had to have this unspoken oh yes, Thomas is a real piece of work as always.
Which sort of sucked. But Thomas couldn’t care less what his dad thought about his alcohol tolerance, it wasn’t like he threw up everywhere or broke mum’s precious bowls set (again). Not that he expected Newt to defend him anyhow, but he could at least say nooo, he was fine, he just fell asleep or something. Not that it surprised him he didn’t, but…
“He used to drink majority of guys from my work under the table and now look at him,” his dad delivered his fifth Thomas can’t drink for shit jab. He sure loved to milk that. “At least he has you to look after him, huh.”
Thomas stared at Newt’s back with mild annoyance the more the blond refused to elaborate on anything, just smiling at his dad while making himself a cup of coffee, and then Thomas’s eyes suddenly fell on the nape of Newt’s neck with a vicious, red mark near the hairline, and his whole body seized up like he got paralyzed.
A hickey? Since when? From who? What? Wait, was Newt already dating somebody else?
Saying already like three years were short amount of time… Thomas mentally scolded himself and his body raised up on its own volition, like being pulled in by some invisible force towards the blond. He had no clue if it were a twisted need for revenge or vindication or just him being unable to come in terms of not being told or warned, or maybe all of it together, he just couldn’t stop and plastered himself all over Newt’s back, trapping him between his body and the counter, circling his thin waist like a vine (he got thinner for sure).
“Of course I have you, don’t I,” he purred into Newt’s ear, loud enough for his dad to hear perfectly, and felt how Newt’s whole body froze, his hand mid-stir of the coffee. Thomas could see how his Adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped. “Looking after me when I get hammered into unconsciousness.”
“Yeah.” Newt’s voice sounded small, and Thomas wanted to bite down at that red, angry place on his nape like an animal. His dad probably wouldn’t appreciate it, but his ego sure would. He let his hands slide lower, to Newt’s hips, grabbing a handful, and the habitual movement made him restless. He did it zillion times during the time they were together. He did less, he did more, naked, clothed, lying, standing up, in whatever situation, touching Newt was his privilege.
And some fucking horny prick just took it?
Just marked his boyfriend – ex-boyfriend, Thomas, ex-boyfriend for three years, pull yourself together, you’re not 17 anymore – like a property and he didn’t even fucking notice?
Newt’s breath hitched and the spoon he was holding dropped into the coffee, splashing the black liquid around it, dribbling down the drawers under, making the blond curse under his breath.
“Sorry,” he immediately said towards Thomas’ dad who was handing him a cloth to wipe it with, and started squirming. “Thomas, leggo. Can’t reach.”
“Don’t wanna,” Thomas refused, squeezing Newt even tighter. “I’m hangover and miserable and you’re supposed to take care of me.”
Thomas’ dad snorted but took the hint and retreated while calling at his wife the boys are being rowdy again, Anna! And the kitchen fell back into silence, except of their breathing, with Thomas plastered against Newt’s back like he wanted to topple him over (he sort of did).
“Do you enjoy being a bloody prick?” Newt finally broke the spell, pawing at Thomas’ hands to get them off, his voice an angry whisper. “What’s your deal, for fuck’s sake!”
“Hangover,” Thomas huffed, not letting go and to be completely honest, Newt wasn’t really trying as much, just slapping his hands half-heartedly. “Could’ve at least said I didn’t give you any trouble, I covered for you the whole night.”
“You gave me loads of it!” Newt started wiggling, and Thomas had to fight the urge to just bite down, mark any piece of skin available, to make the restlessness go away. “You were heavy as fuck, I had to carry you all the way to your room!”
“Yeah, and?” Thomas grabbed him lower, and Newt pinched his hand in revenge, which finally made him let go with sharp breath.
“Fuck you,” the blond barked at him with fiery eyes. “I don’t know what you are trying to prove but groping me is not on the bloody table, get it?!”
“Mhm,” Thomas rubbed the place Newt pinched him at. “Sure. No fun allowed, got it.”
Thomas hated how Newt turned away and the hickey was so visible it made his insides churn. He used to talk about his problems a lot these past few years, so he could finally let go of whatever was holding him in place, unable to forget, and he thought he reached that point, that he was free.
Looking at Newt marked by another man… no. He was not. Still stuck, still the same.
Still angry and miserable.
The fact Newt refused to talk to him completely was an understatement. Thomas blamed his unsteady approach on the alcohol, because what else he could blame it on – his own feelings? He sodealt with those already, there was nothing that would make him see red.
Except of a hickey on his ex-boyfriend’s neck, that would do it. Apparently.
But still – it was the hangover that made him stupid, right. If he’d be completely sober and not aching anywhere and his mind clear, he would just… shrug at it. It was Newt’s business who he slept with or not, or who he let bite his nape like a dog (some young fucking idiot who thought hickeys are still sexy? Stupid shit).
Not Thomas’. Not anymore.
The more he tried to push it away from his mind, the more his mind pushed back, just pointing it out loudly every time he glanced towards the blond sitting on the couch in the living room, bundled in a fluffy blanket, fiddling with his phone.
He was fiddling with his phone a lot actually. Texting somebody?
The guy who left the mark?
Thomas felt the irrational anger seep into his consciousness again and he forced it back down with a frown. He knew asking Newt to help him to get his parents off his back wasn’t exactly a great idea (asking ex to be your bf again for a show just screamed trouble), but at the same time asking anybody else just felt… wrong.
Thomas had to admit he’d be able to go along with this only with Minho, probably. Because Minho was a born actor, he’d be able to breeze though this with ease and Thomas’ parents would like him for sure, because, well, everybody liked Minho, honestly.
Asking Teresa or Brenda was just… desperate. Because other than them it would be Newt and getting back together with Newt… well. Thomas could tell from the moment he saw him getting into his car in front of Newt’s workplace it was going to be tough for both of them.
Not much of a surprise so far climbing Mt. Everest would be easier than keeping his chaotic feelings under control.
“You need some fresh air,” his vision of Newt got obstructed by his mum in a frilly apron she wore unironically and he looked up to her with half-lidded eyes.
“I think I need chicken soup, actually,” he offered in response, because dragging himself through the snow outside now sounded like a death penalty.
“Air first,” she insisted, adamant, and turned towards Newt like an executioner. “Right, Newt? A walk would do him good.”
Newt looked at Thomas and Thomas just knew. He was doomed. Newt was going to betray him like Scar did with Mufasa and he’d enjoy it, he could see the glint in his eyes, just shining there, spelling revenge in big, neon letters.
Please, he mouthed at the blond in desperation and Newt tilted his head to the side and then his mouth curled up.
“Sure, that’s a great idea, Anna,” he signed the death certificate without an ounce of shame and relished in it.
Fuck you, Thomas mouthed again, and Newt sent him a condescending smile. Fuck him especially.
“You’re unusually quiet,” his mum casually pointed out like she didn’t just drag him out to cold ass weather while holding a knife (butter one, but that’s what made it scarier), despite his very vocal (or vocal sort of, too loud and his brain wanted out of his skull) protests.
“Hungover,” he reminded her bitterly. The snow under their feet crunched sharply and the noise was tearing his brain to pieces, like walking on a broken glass and he had no idea how much longer he’d be able to act like it wasn’t killing him.
“Well, it was nice of you to cover for him,” Anna shrugged like she didn’t just blew their cover with a killer one liner and Thomas probably shouldn’t have been as surprised. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen him drink.”
“That’s cuz he can’t drink for shit,” he mumbled with a frown. “Did dad notice?”
“No,” she shook her head. “He was too busy boasting about the partnership. It’s been some time since I’ve seen him so happy, you know how he hoards the whiskey otherwise.”
“Yeah, cheapskate,” Thomas snorted, and the noise sliced his brain painfully, like an instant karma.
“Think he was happy about Newt being back too,” she hit the nail on the head a bit too close to home and Thomas hated how his stomach lurched at it. “Well, you know him.”
“Sure is happy for not getting any grandkids,” he just grumbled and Anna patted him on his back.
“We still have Hannah,” she reminded him sweetly. “Maybe one day she’ll feel like having kids and force you to babysit for her two times a week.”
“Me? You’re going to be the grandparents, it’s your obligation to babysit!” The idea of taking care of Hannah’s kids made him scared for life, and they didn’t even exist yet.
“Pretty sure Newt wouldn’t mind,” she chirped happily, and Thomas loathed how right she probably was. Newt never really showed any kind of real interest in having kids or anything, but he never minded babysit for his own sister, and generally all the kids liked him.
Not that thinking about that had any merit anyway, since they split up with a point of no return. Maybe Newt already planned kids with the new person who left the distasteful hickey on his nape, or the person who he kept texting, and the more Thomas thought about it, the more his chest burned.
“Cherish him a bit more, would you,” she poked his arm. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you have some beef between you. Had an argument before coming here?”
Why the fuck is she so perceptive?
“A bit,” he answered quietly. “No biggie.”
“Set things right,” she plainly ordered him like he was ten again and had do her bidding. “I don’t want another sad Christmas.”
There isn’t going to be any Christmas for us, he wanted to tell her, but kept his mouth shut. At this rate, there wasn’t going to be anything for them, at all.
I really need some sleep.
Not very often did the morning come so peacefully, like a gentle spring washing over tired soul, leaving it invigorated. Thomas basked in the pleasantness of it, a quiet, warm and relaxed moment where he slowly woke up from a dream into reality still welcoming and soft like he never left the fantasy realm.
He took a deep breath, stretching, slowly coming to realize of contours of another body pressed into him, and under his hands and around his legs and under his chin. The soft blond hair came to view when he opened his eyes, with Newt draped around him needily, and his heart melted.
The first night in their flat. Their home. A place that only belonged to them, these walls and floors, and small kitchen and big windows, for them together. It came true, finally, inevitably, for Thomas to have Newt all for himself, to share his mornings, his evenings, his life with him. Nothing else could make him happier.
“You already up?” came a sleepy rumble from Newt’s chest, the hands holding Thomas’ waist slowly moved up, to his back, pushing them even closer together.
“Just woke up,” Thomas kissed the top of the blond strands, his own hands traveling over Newt’s back, right onto his butt, kneading it.
“Mmmm.” Approving sound doubled his endeavour and then Newt was slowly grinding to him, lazily, his lips stretched in a smile, reaching to pamper Thomas’ neck with small kisses. “This sure is nice, huh.”
“Love it,” Thomas agreed with the sentiment while grabbing Newt’s thigh and hiking it up over his hip. The blond softly moaned at the contact and Thomas pushed more into it, completely awake and needy and allowed. There was nobody that could hear them, scold them or gasp in shock like a puritan at them making out – just them, two lovers in their home, free to make love any time they wanted.
And Thomas wanted too much.
He never stopped wanting.
He woke to his room bathing in shadows, with the blanket twisted between his legs, his headache still present, even though in weaker state than in the morning, and his body wasn’t any less sluggish. The walk with his mum didn’t help him much, just added to his misery with freezing cold and nagging reality he couldn’t play this game any longer, which made him feel empty and unhappy.
He didn’t feel this unhappy in a while, it usually only came back when he heard of Newt about a year after the breakup. Every time his ex came back to his life, even when somebody only mentioned him in a passing conversation, Thomas’ chest set off that painful pang in it, like a trigger just waiting to be pressed, and he fell back into hollow kind of depression.
He got rid of it, somehow. He built walls around himself, he locked all of his twisted personality traits and pushiness and hateful behaviour away, he spent years searching for more he could fix, for all that made Newt unhappy with him, what made him leave Thomas after seven years without really talking about it.
He thought he managed to become a better person. He believed he could change the way he acted. He hoped if he ever talked to Newt again, at any point of their lives, he would be at least able to show him he wasn’t that ungrateful, lousy boyfriend anymore, that they could at least be friends. Somehow. Just talk normally. Just… exist in the same room without… Newt making that anguished face, like it hurt him still.
Thomas tried. But failed. Maybe it was just recurring theme of his life – to touch something wonderful, to taste true happiness, just to fuck it all up and lose it.
Maybe he was just obsessive. Suffocating.
Maybe making mistakes were rooted too deep in him to get rid of.
Maybe… it was simply impossible.
Newt was playing games with Hannah in the living room when Thomas came back down. Hannah made fun of him for sleeping all day like an old guy and his mum said something about hoping he didn’t catch a cold and gave him a bowl of chicken soup.
The strange, unattached feeling stayed with him since he woke up, and only doubled when he saw Newt’s neck marked by some fucker on display. His stomach churned at the implication there was this unknown guy waiting for Newt to come back home, who kept impatiently sending him texts that made Newt frown and smile in turns, like he just slowly sunk back into the problem they never resolved. Thomas felt disgusted with himself, and angry, and, when it came to it, immensely tired.
“Oh, you have the whole week free?” his mum asked suddenly, breaking Thomas’ bubble of trying to eat the soup like a mental case of lobotomy, and he realized there had been a conversation going in meantime and he didn’t catch any of it. Newt wasn’t playing the game anymore, though Hannah still furiously pressed buttons on her controller, and instead of it sat on the couch, turned towards Thomas’ mum at the table.
“Yeah, thought getting out of the city might do me good,” he answered her with a soft smile and the idea of another week like this sent Thomas into desperate mode. Even though it was him who forced Newt to take whole week off, because… he only had bad ideas, obviously.
“But there’s bit of a rush now, right?” he entered the conversation impulsively and Newt glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “At work. Christmas and all that being close.”
“Yeah, it’s… a bit hectic,” the blond admitted, making Thomas’ mum go aww. “There’s lots of people taking vacations they didn’t spend yet, so we usually work crunch time.”
“Yeah, kind of same,” Thomas added. It wasn’t really a lie. But not the truth either. “And I know I said a week, but I’ve got some texts from work already, thought of going back tomorrow instead.”
Newt stared at him with an evident confusion, but Thomas knew at this rate they were going to crash and burn again if they stayed, and he didn’t want that. He couldn’t even trust himself to keep it civil when his blood boiled like in a bull taunted with red flag.
Except the red flag was an unknown nobody on the other side of the line of Newt’s phone.
“Uh,” came from the blond. “No, wait. What? You…”
“We can visit again during Christmas,” Thomas offered a big fat lie, he almost bit his tongue at it. Christmas were a taboo, he knew mentioning it were already risky, but it gave him an out with his mum, so that worked at least. “When it’s calmer.”
“When is what calmer?” Newt still stared, Thomas said almost disbelieving, and he just prayed for him to play along and not act like he knew nothing about it.
“Work,” he answered stiffly. Too stiffly, he realized, since Newt’s eyes narrowed.
“Uh oh,” he heard Hannah interject, which meant he already failed in the mission to make this believable. Fuck.
“I need a smoke,” the blond announced instead of reacting and stood up sharply. Then shot Thomas a badly masked glare. “Keep me company?”
He wanted to say no but couldn’t when his whole family watched them like during tennis match. So he just nodded and followed Newt outside of the house while feeling like slapping himself.
“Care to explain or am I supposed to guess.”
The cigarette was lit, its fiery tip shone bright in the darkness of the porch once the automatic light shut itself because they weren’t moving like they rooted in the wooden floor. Newt was wearing his coat and Thomas only stood there in the long-sleeved shirt, which in retrospect was probably a mistake.
“I did explain,” Thomas said. “Just thought about work-,”
“No, you didn’t,” Newt stopped him immediately while crossing one of his arms on his chest while other held the cigarette like a weapon. “You said a week, so I took a week off. I’m not bloody leaving now. It’s my vacation.”
“I also said three days would probably be enough,” Thomas asserted. “And they are. I thought you’d appreciate it.”
“Why?” the blond demanded. “It’s not like I suffer here. I like this place. What’s your problem?”
That kind of question had no easy answer and Thomas held Newt’s eyes only for few seconds, before looking away.
“Am I the problem?” came another question, even sharper. “You just can’t stand me anymore, so you want to leave?”
“You know that’s bullshit,” Thomas scoffed. “Since when did I ever-,”
“No, I don’t know!” Newt interrupted him with raised voice and Thomas flinched. “I don’t bloody know anything about you anymore! You brought me here and expected what? War? Did you want us to fail?”
“Why would I want us to fail?” Thomas’ eyes widened in a shock. “What kind of fucked up logic would that be?!”
“I don’t know!” Newt barked. The cigarette he was holding was slowly fading away, the ash falling everywhere how he moved his hand. “But something’s up since this morning, so obviously you’re lying about work and I want to know why!”
Well, finding out his ex-boyfriend had a lover, or a sex friend or whatever the other person was definitely served as a wake-up call. Thomas couldn’t overlook it – he thought he’d be fine with anything, it had been years, but one fucking hickey and some fleeting texts and he just had the rising urge to tear the walls he built down and get angry and make Newt inevitably miserable, which he despised.
He fucking loathed it. And himself. And everything around him.
“Why did you even agree to come here?” he couldn’t help but demand. “Why did you even bother playing this stupid game when you have somebody home? You trying to make him jealous or it’s just your thing?”
Accusing – stupid Thomas, fucking idiot, just talk normally, what’s wrong with you – as always.
“What?” Newt’s eyes shot up, wide in honest surprise. His cheeks were red from the cold, or maybe embarrassment, Thomas didn’t know. “What are you talking about?”
“About that hickey on your neck?” Thomas pointed towards the incriminated spot and Newt’s whole body went rigid.
“A hickey…?” Newt’s free hand was touching the place now, his voice shocked. “You… ugh.”
“Look, it’s not my business, clearly,” Thomas rubbed his eyes tiredly, desperately trying to make an excuse for his own consciousness why he couldn’t look at Newt. “But obviously it’s causing you trouble with him, so. As I said. Three days are fine, we can leave now. Go back home. Forget about this.”
And forget about me trying to corner you, and me getting hard in the bed with you this morning, and me sounding jealous and lame, and me… just for being me.
“Are you fucking with me?” Newt’s voice sounded disbelieving. “Are you bloody serious right now? A hickey from some random guy appeared over night here? That’s what you’re saying?”
“Overnight?” he asked a little dumbly, which forced him to look Newt in the eyes, where he saw hell unleashed. It made his throat squeeze almost hard enough to suffocate him.
“You think I just popped back home for a quickie, then back to your bed in the morning like a bloody Cinderella?” the blond seethed, the cigarette in his hand morphing into a protentional weapon of choice. “Where did that even came for, for fuck’s sake? You’d been seeing me for two days, never noticed anything, and then suddenly your Esmeralda syndrome got cured or what?”
“You bloody drunk fucker,” Newt took a step towards him and Thomas found himself hitting the entrance door with his back, when he automatically tried to back out. “Should have known your bird brain won’t remember anything.”
The realization hit Thomas like tons of bricks right in his face, able to cause heavy concussion if it were real.
“I did this?!”
“No, the bloody sucker behind you, who the fuck do you think?!” Newt’s voice was harsh, but Thomas could only hear the bare fact he made a hickey of size of Texas on his ex-boyfriend’s nape while spending the next day being jealous… of himself.
“What the fuck,” he breathed out with an ugly relief flooding his veins, which was all sorts of wrong. Being relieved over attacking his ex at night definitely did not count as a good point in anybody’s book. “What the fuck.”
“Calmer now?” Newt sighed in exasperation and Thomas couldn’t say he was. It just opened door to another set of bad he had to deal with.
“I attacked you when drunk?” he asked quietly, and Newt blinked in surprise.
“Attacked?” he repeated and then barked out a laugh. “No, you really didn’t. You were drunk out of your mind, for fuck’s sake.”
“Didn’t think it left anything,” the blond sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as if in memory, which was kind of hot – no Thomas, it was not hot, but embarrassing, shut up -. “I mean you just munched on me a little, then fell back asleep. No harm done.”
“You made a fuss about us sleeping in one bed but it’s no biggie when I leave a hickey?” Thomas couldn’t help but laugh a little and Newt’s face showed signs of hesitation.
“Look…” he tried after a moment, the cigarette in his hand nearly gone. “I… don’t know, you were just sleeping while holding me, it doesn’t mean anything-,”
“And that’s fine with you?” It was Thomas’ turn to interrupt him, and Newt looked a little lost for a moment.
“I suppose that’s fine with me, yeah,” he admitted slowly.
Thomas looked at his shoes, taking in a deep breath. He couldn’t deny the knot forming in his belly over the day already started easing off, for purely selfish reasons he had, but at the same time his head became even a bigger mess than before.
“So what does it mean?” he asked after a while. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, I thought… you’d rather leave than stay with me longer, after today, but…”
“I want to stay,” Newt answered immediately. “Unless you really don’t want me here. Then no, of course. I had the same problem the first day, feeling all kinds of weird and jumpy. I guess I just sort of dealt with it. Stepped out of my comfort zone and all that.”
“Sorry you had to.”
It wasn’t like Thomas wanted Newt to change anyhow by doing this favour for him. But he’d also be a hypocrite if he didn’t admit he wished Newt to feel good here. With him. Selfishly, hopelessly. Like before, like they were okay. Like they still… liked each other. At least a little.
He knew that kind of hope was self-destructive and harmful, but he didn’t stop loving this man three years ago, after going through an immensely rough patch, so he wouldn’t stop loving him now for no reason either.
“No need to be sorry,” Newt interrupted his thoughts with much softer tone than Thomas expected. “I mean even despite it’s you, you didn’t really do anything bad yet.”
“Wow,” Thomas snorted. “Way to ruin the mood, boyfriend.”
“I try,” Newt grinned, and it seemed like the tense mood dissipated and they both relaxed enough to breathe easier. Thomas possibly wouldn’t even notice he had been so strung up until now, if the huge boulder of irrational fear of fucking up didn’t fall off his shoulders with a bang.
“And just for the record,” Newt added while finally inhaling the last puff from the already burned-out cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray. “I noticed you digging into me in the morning.”
“Of course you did…” Thomas banged the back of his head against door in utter shame. “Because universe hates me, and you had to fucking wake up.”
“Yeah, well,” Newt let out a small shrug. “I got hard at night, if it makes you feel any better. Let’s call it even.”
“Had a real nice dream,” the blond casually announced like he was ordering pie with no filling and Thomas was a stupefied cashier at Costa Cafe. “Woke up with you being handsy with me. Tried to scramble away, cue for you to make the hickey and fall back asleep.”
“1:1, right?” The sly smile Newt’s mouth produced did things to Thomas’ underbelly and before he even caught himself, he automatically reached out and grabbed Newt’s side.
“Pretty lousy score,” he just said – bad Thomas, stop making a pass at your ex -, “That’s no match whatsoever.”
Newt glanced at his hand resting on his waist and then back to Thomas with a thoughtful hum.
“I’m not that good at sports,” he just said, looking back into Thomas’ eyes. “But you might be onto something.”
Thomas took a deep breath and wished his hard on away. He was pretty sure Newt noticed anyway.
Why the heck is DC so obsessed with writing white savior stories??? Like that's literally what they did with Lian and they made it just like worse this time around! And the retcon of Cass being absolved of her guilt by harper a white character in the new52. And honestly most the gotham heroes at this point are written as white saviors - just look at Bruce being portrayed as a great dad while simultaneously being a terrible father. And like the new Nightwing comics are starting to have the same vibe with the whole man discovers poverty (idk I'll forgive it if they mention Dick being Romani again). Like I'm so angry about what they did with Lian, at least Jade like loved her before. Like i don't understand. They keep retconning things to be even more racist *cough cough* Talia.
*screams into the void*
Well it’s all about the self inserts. Almost every writer for DC is a white man so yeah.
I know in terms of Dick being Romani some Roma people like it and some can’t get over how racist it was. I know Devin Grayson did everything wrong she’s someone I genuinely despite but I can’t speak on if it would be good for Dick to be acknowledged as Roma again cause that’s something I don’t know much about. It is however absolutely fucking stupid and offensive to pretend that Dick Grayson isn’t aware of poverty. He has been crime-fighting to protect all sorts of people since he was 8. We really lost something from the silver age where Dick used to spend his time raising money for the people of Gotham and Bruce was proud of him for it.
But yeah the Cass and Harper thing drove me up the wall. And I’ll say it- I don’t like Harper or Cullen. I think they’re boring and just a way for DC to be like ha ha Bruce found more kids. To each their own of course but they aren’t for me. And Cass doesn’t need to be absolved for shit. No more than Damian does. It’s racist and misogynistic what they do with Cass a lot of the time. Cass forgiving herself and realizing that the way she was raised isn’t who she is, is the only story I wanna read from her and then we move on to her being a badass.
Plus Cass is not just there to be a plot device to make DC’s white faves think about murder or whatever and I’ll scream if they do it again.
Talia is god the way she’s been treated is absolutely despicable. The way she is villanized and the colorism I just there are hundreds probably thousands of posts on this and DC just can’t seem to realize what they’re doing because well xenophobia, misogyny, racism.
And here’s the thing Selina is not a good person. She is a villain same as Talia yet you can clearly see who gets the worse treatment. Also as an aside I’ll never accept the step-mama Catwoman stuff because since the 40s she’s been depicted as terrible with children. In the 80s she didn’t want anything to do with Jason (the whole Nocturna thing)
Or you wanna say Talia has done worse things look at Harley and Ivy. They’re both monsters and my god if someone comes for me saying Harley was manipulated I can’t even begin to describe how fucked that is. She’s a murdeer and just because she’s their gay white rep now DC is trying to make her an anit hero.
They’d never give Talia or Jade that treatment. No one is saying we think Jade is a good person but that doesn’t equate to being a good mother. And if we’re talking about this Talia was always a good person at heart. Not a villain. Her desires were to escape her father’s clutches and do good. Did her beliefs always align with Bruce’s? No but Bruce is also batshit insane (pun intended) so who cares
Jade is a little more morally black in that regards she is very much money motivated and a good villain. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be written respectfully.
To quote something I see floating around tumblr sorry i don’t know who to source “if you’re mad at the character it is well written, if you're mad at the writer it is not”
So yeah lots of rambles here but I agree anon
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What in the actual hell happened with ratlicker, I remember them making a few funney posts a while ago and today I wake up to see Tumblr sharpening the guillotine while ratliker has five mental breakdowns in a row over DBZ mpreg
so this is just an extremely simplistic summary and i might get details wrong, obviously a scroll through halodite's blog will give all the details better. but basically from what i understand this is what happened:
ratliker is an infamous discourse/political blogger on here. she's got a lot of popular posts about leftist takes. she's a trans woman who is an immigrant [i believe someone said from chile?] but she is white
halodite is another big blogger on here. he's a black non-binary person
basically this started when ratliker posted a take where she said that while black/brown americans face systematic racism, they can't claim it's genocide or of the same level/capacity of violence that people from worse-off countries face. i believe she was referring to venezeula
a couple black bloggers (including halodite, i'm not sure if it was just him at the very beginning) were like "hey that seems pretty racist and ignorant to say that we don't face genocide, or to in any way act like black/brown americans are 'privileged' for living in america" and then explained why what black/brown americans have gone through also counts as genocide, and then later were like "hey aren't you white btw?"
ratliker began arguing with these bloggers, especially halodite, again implying that they are ignorant and privileged for not living in a poorer country. she maintained this thesis that americans should not call what they've experienced genocide, even wrt african americans
which is when at one point she tells a black blogger something like "i hope venezuela invades and takes over your town." i believe the blogger in question had been discussing their town being mostly comprised of poc
this is when people started to get really mad at her and began calling her racist for this
at this point halodite and her begin arguing in earnest. at some point in their conversations, ratliker misgenders halodite, i believe by using she/her (halodite goes by he/him). when halodite confronts her about this, she refuses to apologize, doubles down on the mistake, and when later told that he literally had a carrd in his bio she could've checked for his pronouns, says that carrds are "cringe"
in response to this, she also starts attributing much of this hate/criticism to transmisogyny, and begins calling people who are against her transmisogynistic. when at one point confronted by a trans woman opposed to her, who responded "i literally am a trans woman", ratliker deflects and tells her to log off
she then begins ascribing this conflict to people accusing her of being a pedophile (? maybe it was some old discourse or something?) and uses this as proof that people are being transmisogynistic. this obviously also does not make sense
she then ALSO begins an entire new discourse where, when someone opposed to her calls her racist, she goes onto their blog, sees they reblogged a meme post earlier that had a picture of mpreg goku, begins trying to call on bidoof's law to be like "HA SEE this person has fetish art on their blog!!!" when people go "...but it was a joke post? what does that have to do with anything?" she continues trying to double down on it
because ratliker is now claiming transmisogyny, pedophilia accusations, and fetish discourse, it becomes very confused to people not directly involved in the situation, and so these people (including me admittedly) believe this is just some inane leftist infighting and not a white person using their popularity to make incorrect, offensive, and divisive remarks about topics relating to race/nationality for like, clout or whatever
ratliker then gets her followers/supporters to mass report halodite and get him temporarily deleted from the platform over this. this obviously causes a lot of outrage. halodite did end up getting his account restored thankfully.
apparently someone was defending black hammer at some point during this?? idk if it was ratliker. black hammer is infamous for calling anne frank a "colonizer"
oh yeah i think she at one point implied that halodite was white to try and discredit him??
so. there's that
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Erwin, Levi, and Hanji's crush confessing to them
Not sure how I feel about this one but I still hope you all enjoy <3
You never would have expected to be playing such a risky game with the other veterans. After such a successful expedition, the adults chose to get some drinks of alcohol for them to celebrate. You usually wouldn't drink alcohol but some of your squad mates dragged you in to join. One thing after another started happening and all of a sudden you were playing a game of truth or dare. Everyone seemed to be enjoying it but you were shocked some of the people were able to drag Erwin and Levi into this. It was all fun actually, until it was your turn. "Okay (Y/n), truth or dare?" Nanaba asked. You sat in thought for a bit but you didn't feel like embarrassing yourself with a dare so you chose the easier route. "Truth." You said. Nanaba rubbed her chin a bit to think of a question until she shot up a bit to give you her question. "Do you have feelings for anyone in this room? And you have to tell us whom." Well shit. You took a deep breathe before you gave Nanaba your answer.
Erwin picked up your discomfort with the question and he wasn't sure if you were even going to say anything. Truth was, he had strong feelings for you that eventually became romantic. Sure he was curious about what you were going to say, but he didn't want you to be so uncomfortable. "You don't have to answer if you don't want (Y/n)." Erwin answered and gave you a smile. Your face felt a bit heated with your crush looking at you and having to hear your answer. "Come on (Y/n)! Just tell us. No harm done." Hanji said happily. It was now or never. "I have feelings for the commander. That answer your question?" You looked down in embarrassment. Erwin looked at you with a knowing look on his face but he didn't really seem that surprised either. "I already knew (Y/n)." Your mouth widened before you closed it and the game continued on like it was nothing. Erwin took a seat next to you as he said quietly, "Sorry I startled you earlier (Y/n). But I already figured out you loved me a long while ago." You started stuttering before saying, "How?" Erwin seemed to be in thought as he put in his mind what he was going to tell you. "You always helped me in my office and were always making sure I took care of myself. I always believed you cared for me." Your face temperature went up again knowing how much Erwin believed you cared. "I hope you know I feel the same about you. How about we have some dinner together tomorrow night when you're available?" Your eyes widened before telling the blonde, "It's a date."
Would he be uncomfortable? Would he start avoiding you? You weren't prepared with what the captain was going to think about your feelings for him. You looked around the room to see Levi giving you a deep and quiet stare just as everyone else was. You couldn't deal with awkward silence any longer as you felt your face heat up and just pointed to Levi. To say that everyone of the veterans were flabbergasted was an understatement. You didn't really see the expression of Levi's face change much but you did put your head down for the rest of the game to avoid looking at his gorgeous eyes. As the night ended, some people had to be helped back a bit due to the alcohol but you were pretty much okay since you didn't drink much. You stayed behind to clean up when you felt someone's presence walk from behind you to go next to you. You turned your head to see the captain and you already averted your eyes before you cleared your throat. "What is it captain?" It was quiet for a few seconds before a deep voice rang in the air. "I-I wanted to talk to you about earlier." Was it just you or was he stuttering a bit? Were his ears a little red too? "I don't know how to respond but, shit. I-I f-feel the same." You never saw Levi in this light before and to hear him say those words made you all the more happier. "I'm so happy to hear you say that Levi." You said. The raven haired male opened his mouth and said, "I've never felt like this before so I hope you don't mind taking this slow for my sake" You gave the man a light smile before grasping his hand. "I'd like that."
Your breathing became heavy as you grew with anxiety. It didn't help that your crush was sitting next to you either. You loved them for a long time and your relationship has always been close friends so you didn't want to ruin what was between you two. Nevertheless, you took that risk. "I l-like you, Hanji." After you said your answer you heard the brunette laughing at your side before putting their arm around you. "Didn't think you'd have feelings for me. But hey! I like you too." While you gasped in shock, you heard some grunting from some of the others in the room. "Goddamn it." You were so confused all of a sudden. "Huh? What's going on?" You asked in confusion. Hanji smiled and said, "The others made a bet whether you'd end up confessing to me or not." Nanaba growled in frustration and said, "I thought you liked Miche or Levi. There goes some of my allowance" Levi shook his head from the other side of the room and Miche snorted to himself aware of how right his nose was. Hanji gave you a peck on the cheek and said, "Turns out we both were oblivious." Your cheeks felt on fire before you smiled and said, "Yeah we are."
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okay, so i need advice: there was this guy that i matched with on tinder like...8-ish months ago. we hit it off right away, he was such an amazing guy, so sweet and actually felt really invested in my interests and stuff. deleted his tinder because he wasn't interested in looking if i was interested in him, didn't mind that i wasn't quite ready to the same. just an amazing guy that i really liked. wasn't perfect, and could come on strong sometimes, but even then he was always respectful if I asked him to take a step back. test the boundaries but would never force the issue, y'know?
anyway we talked a lot for a few months, and everything was great...until a lot of shit hit the fan in my own life, but in a good way? changed medications, turned my health around, lost 65 pounds in 6 months, basically turned my life around. it was amazing and i'm happy now, but it was a lot all at once and i was overwhelmed for months.
in the process of all of that happening, i ended up ghosting the guy. i felt horrible about it for so long, because before things got really bad i told him about some of the stuff, and that i might have to pull back and he was *so kind.* more understanding than people in my family were, and even when i wasn't responding he would check in on me every once in a while. nothing our almost relationship, just asking how i was doing, making sure i knew he was there if i needed anything. and i just...didn't know how to respond after so long, so didn't. so he stopped trying. and now that things are settled, i feel awful about it but never knew how to apologize without maybe hurting him again. i know what i did was awful and that it hurt him, but i didn't want to hurt him again trying to fix it either.
but i just got a snap from him out of the blue, and i'm scared to open it. we talked about hockey a lot since he plays and i follow it pretty closely, and knowing him, he would use the antics tonight to break the ice and start a convo...if it is that, i don't know what to do. i want to talk to him again, but i don't want to fuck it up again. i don't know what to say, or how to handle this.
Hey babe! Let him know the truth about how you’re feeling, I can tell he will be understanding from what you’ve already said. Be open and honest, you got this 💜 let him know that you truly feel bad and apologize for your behaviour at that time because you were having a rough go :)
Okay here's a little rant.
Armando is super handsome and nice. He brought a card game to our first date to get to know each other better and we played while we had drinks. It was cute. At the end of the night when things got hot and heavy I asked him, "Have you been tested? Are you clean?" He said, "I haven't been tested in a while but I think I'm clean". So I told him I couldn't fuck and he said, that's cool I'm not sure I want to fuck on the first date. We did mutual masterbation, still pretty hot lol a few days later while we were talking I told him I wasn't interested in continuing to talk to him because I didn't feel a connection and he said okay.
On Dennis and I's first date when I went back to his place I asked the same thing. "Are you clean?" Before sucking his dick and he said, "Yeah I don't do this often, my dry spell is actually kind of embarrassing I haven't had sex in a long time." He reached for condoms and we were having sex initially w condoms. In the middle of it, I was close and so was he then he lost the orgasm. I asked him if he was good, he said yeah I think it's the condom (it kept rolling down half way his dick) so I just took it off and he went in raw. And now when we have sex (unless I'm on my period) he doesn't use a condom.
Anyway sometime in between the time I told Armando I wasn't interested and me seeing Dennis, Armando slid back into my Snapchat DMs and we started talking again. He still hasn't been tested, even though he told me he thinks he's clean his slight hesitation makes me be strict with him. I let Dennis hit raw the first date and Armando only got mutual masturbation. Buuut Amanda got tested for me on Saturday; man's is really jumping through hoops for me cuz he had to drive hella far to get tested and is waiting for his results to set something up with me. I feel fucked up cuz I don't really like him like that.
I think the reason for this post was me realizing how I connected with Dennis vs Armando. I'm a simp for Dennis and Armando is a simp for me. Now, don't get me wrong, I know it's fucked up to lead ppl on so before I link with Armando I'ma let him know I'm not interested in anything serious with him and let him do what he wishes w that information. He might want to stop talking or he might want to continue linking 🤷🏽♀️
5 times Catelyn didn’t think of Brandon Stark (2)
Everybody thinks she is with Ned because of Brandon but they are wrong. Second one is Lysa.
Chapter 2. Gonna reblog chapter 3 so they show up one after another.
They went on a few dates by now and nothing had happened beside a few kisses on the cheek. She wasn't sure what it was about.
The rationale part of her brain was telling her that Ned was just a little bit shy and that he had respect for her. But the more insecure of her brain, the part that spoke to her when she was in bed at night, told her that maybe he wasn't that interested after all and that maybe by still going out with her he is only humoring her.
Most of the time this voice disappeared when she finally saw Ned again and he smiled to greet her.
But today was the fifth time they went out and she just couldn't ban the evil thoughts.
"Maybe I'm just not pretty enough or not smart enough for him"
Ned was one of the most amazing people Cat ever met in her life and she felt that if he didn't approve of her for some reason that something must be wrong with her.
Which was bad, she told herself. She never thought of herself as this woman who needed a man's approval to be happy or to feel valuable and she didn't want to be.
Yet she couldn't shake it. She didn't want some men's approval. She wanted one man's approval and that was Ned.
Today they walked through the park and stopped for ice cream.
"One scoop of strawberry ice cream with sprinkles, please" she ordered.
"For me a scoop of yogurt, please" Ned said.
The iceman handed the ice over to Ned who passed it onto Cat, so he could pay.
She already started eating her ice when Ned turned back to her and a small amused smile appeared on his face.
"What?" Catelyn asked.
"Nothing, it's just sprinkles on your ice they remind me of your freckles. Very fitting choice un ice cream if you ask me" the young Stark answered.
"Do you like sprinkles then?" the redhead tried to flirt.
"Not really," Ned said.
Her face fell a little bit.
"Oh" he said, realizing what she meant
"I meant... on ice cream... it's too sweet for my taste but I like your sprinkles,.. I mean your freckles… I like your freckles.. they're really pretty. Your whole face is… pretty I mean. Actually, more like beautiful but I think you know that."
By the end of his talk his face turned a little bit red and his hand went up to grab us back and look on the ground.
"And I said, I would try to get better at telling you nice things and not to stutter like and idiot"
"Oh Ned I would never think of you as an idiot. And thank you for telling me that I'm beautiful it is great to hear that you like the way I look"
His face turned into a scowl.
"I like so much more about you than the way you look Cat. You are smart and a very generous person.
You care for family deeply and when you let someone into your heart you try to protect and help them with all you got. Everyday since we met you amaze me Catelyn Tully.
And while your beauty makes people turn around the way you are makes people never want to turn away again. And I still can't believe that from all the people who turn around when you walk by you choose me as the person to stop by and look back at."
"Oh wow Ned, I think you just managed to give me one of the best romantic speeches I ever heard" Catelyn said and stared into Ned's eyes.
It was always his eyes where she found the truth. He looked back into her river blue eyes.
Ned lifted his hand to put it on her cheek and stroke her face carefully with his thumb.
Cat wanted to savor this moment so that it may never end. She took both if her own hands to lay them on his face.
Suddenly he jerked back and the moment was broken. The Tully was shocked and wondered what went wrong when she remembered that she still held her ice cream when she wanted to touch his face.
Now the dessert was half on Neds face and the other half on the ground together with Neds own ice cream which he must have dropped in shock from getting frozen cream smashed into his face.
"Oh my God Ned! I'm so sorry I totally forgot about the ice cream" she yelled a little bit panicked and tried to find some tissues in her purse to clean his face.
"It's ok Cat. Nothing bad happened" he graciously took the tissue, she handed him.
"Well now who is the idiot? I am pretty sure I earned that title for today" she smiled at him.
"Maybe we should just stop calling ourselves idiots. Because when you told me I'm not an idiot I believed you and I'm telling you you are definitely not an idiot either. So let's try to have a nice rest date"
"Yes, let's do that" she agreed.
They walked the rest of the day through the park and Ned took her hand into his and held it the whole time till they arrived at the crossroad where they would part.
"I had a really good time today Cat, as always with you"
"Even though you were viciously attacked with ice cream?"
"Yes" he almost whispered.
His eyes wandered down from her eyes to her lips. He swallowed nervously.
"Cat? May I kiss you?"
"Yes, you may'' she whispered back.
Her face so close to his that she could feel his breath on her lips already.
His hands left hers and he moved them up her arms until he reached her shoulders. On instinct she mimicked his motion and put her arms around his neck.
His hands had reached her face again. Just like he did in the park he moved his fingers over her face. His thumb was on her lips and she opened her mouth slightly.
Then he leaned in and finally his lips were on hers. His lips were soft and his beard was a little bit scratchy but it existed her to feel the scratch of his beard on her face.
He started to move his lips against her slowly like testing the limits. But she waited for this moment for a long time. She didn't need testing, she knew she wanted this so she moved her lips and nibbled on Neds lip.
Her tongue moved into his mouth and started to explode. It was exciting and accelerating and she thought she might explode.
When the kiss ended Ned geld her against him. Her head was directly over his heart and she heard his heartbeat and this time she definitely knew what was responsible for that.
"So?" Her little sister asked after Cat told her what happened today
"How did he measure up?"
"Well it was just so amazing Lysa. I don't even know how to describe it"
"Yeah but I meant in comparison" Lysa said and Catelyn
"In comparison to Brandon of course" the younger Tully said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"What do you mean by that Lysa? Believe it or not Brandon Stark was the last thing on my mind today" she answered in rage.
Why do people always need to mention Brandon?
"Come on Cat now don't play stupid. Everybody knows the only reason you are dating Ned is to replace his brother. I mean why else would someone date an ice block like him" Lysa said, sounding smug.
"How dare you say something like that!!
Ned Stark is his own person! He is not the replacement for anyone. He is his own amazing person who deserves respect and not to be used as a second choice.
And how dare you think like that of me. That I would treat another person with so much utter disrespect!"
"Oh come of your high horse, Cat. You always go for the sweet things you want and when you're precious Brandon left you, you just grabbed the next best thing." Lysa's voice was almost poisonous.
Catelyn just got up and left.
She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to tell Lysa again that she left Brandon or that Ned was better than Brandon could ever hope to be, because it didn't matter.
Lysa didn't need to understand as long as she and Ned understood and she wouldn't let Lysa or memories of Brandon ruin her perfect day with Ned. She just went back in time into her head to relive the day until she smiled again at the memory of their kids
Cat didn't lose her smile for the whole day until her head hit the pillow and she fell asleep with the same smile still on her lips.
No Brandon occupied her mind, only Ned.
It's an alien thing
NOTE FOR STORY: Y/n was with the doctor before the regeneration.
WARNING: Pregnancy in reader. I have no idea where the hell this idea came from but here it is
IMPORTANT: The reader was in a relationship with the 12th doctor as well. And let's pretend a Gallifreyan can in fact get a human woman pregnant because this story has been in the back of my mind since I started getting to the end of 12s storyline. So sorry if you're only attracted to women and not men I guess either pretend men are your thing or like pretend this fic doesn't exist.
PROMPT: The doctor's wife is alone during her regeneration until she luckily returns (ok this description is lowkey trash and I'm like 70% sure imma change it to not suck)
Y/n watched as her alien husband made her way back into the Tardis, his hands still glowing.
"This is it then?" Y/n asks, "You're just gonna le-leave me? the Doctor strode towards Y/n.
"That's not what this is."
"Then what is it? Are you staying? For us?" Y/n rubbed her protruding stomach.
"Of course I am," the Doctor places his hand on top of Y/n's, "I can't let John Smith Jr be raised by you alone."
"First off, we agreed on the name Tula for our DAUGHTER."
"Will you promise me you'll always love me?"
"Y/n I will alwa-" The doctor was interrupted by a flash of light once again coming out of his body, "Y-Y/n. You have to get to the nursery!"
"Why the nursery?"
"It's in its own pocket dimension. No matter what happens to the Tardis the nursery should be safe. Be safe Y/n." With that Y/n ran towards the hallway before twisting back to the Doctor.
"I love you, Doctor." Y/n turned back and ran down the corridor towards the nursery once again making her way to safety.
For almost a month at this point, Y/n had been alone in the Tardis. Exploring her new home, working on small projects in the nursery. All manner of things to keep her mind off the fact that she has no idea where the Doctor landed or what he even looks like. Day after day, wondering when or if her husband will even return. Once again Y/n found herself in the nursery. Wearing an old purple trenchcoat she had found in the room they shared. She's on her third attempt at putting together her crib.
Unfortunately with her limited amount of Gallifreyan, her endeavor was falling a tad short. "Wait, Y/N?" she whispers to herself, "does this go-" Y/n was interrupted by the sound of the Tardis. Her classic screeches indicating she's landing. Gently, Y/n with her large pregnant belly attempts to stand. After almost two minutes she had managed to stand.
Y/n soundlessly crept down the passage towards the control room of the Tardis where she heard different voices. Two men and two women. Just like the Doctor, always one to pick up strays. Y/n made her way around the corner, not truly paying any attention to their conversation, still looking at the older brown-grey-haired man.
"Hi," Y/n practically whispered, "You're here." the group all turned towards Y/n, "I was so worried that you wouldn't regenerate." she made her way towards the man who she presumed was the Doctor. "I mean, you were gone for a month. And here I am, huge and pregnant and about to pop." She made her way towards the man, "You're here though. Thank god." Y/n felt the tears begin to flow down her face. She pulled the man in for a tight hug, "don't you ever leave your 7-month pregnant wife again Doctor Dove. Or else I'll take the Tardis and raise our daughter on some random planet."
"Um," the man stands there confused.
"Your memory is probably still being put together. It's alright Doctor. I'll just have to pull a River and-"
"Sorry, I'm not the Doctor."
"I'm not the Doctor. My name is Graham."
"Oh," Y/n deadpanned, "well forget everything I just said." Y/n turned toward the taller black man. "Ok Doctor. Everything I just said is now applied to you."
"Not the Doctor. I'm Ryan."
"Oh jeez. All these regenerations are messing with my head." Y/n turned towards the amber-skinned woman, "You wouldn't happen to be the Doctor, would You? Because if not I'm throwing this thing into a supernova."
"Sorry, my name is Yasmine."
"I call her Yaz." Y/n turned towards the skinny blonde woman, "Hi, Darling."
"Yup. New body. What'd you think." The actual Doctor did a small twirl for Y/n. "Shorter than before, but I actually quite like this body." Finally, Y/n made her way towards the Doctor.
"It's You," Y/n asks, "My doctor?"
"You're a woman. A five-foot five-woman," Y/n pulled the Doctor in for an embrace, "I was so worried. I thought I had to raise our daughter alone." The alien quickly pulled away before kneeling down to Y/n's stomach.
"How is John Smith Jr?"
"Terribly since that's not HER name."
"Oh, you're right."
"Her name is Rainbow Moon."
"I'm starting to think you're making these things up."
"Don't you remember? I speak baby."
"Yeah but, TULA is still in my womb. How can you even hear her?"
"She's quite loud."
"She gets it from you."
"Oi." Behind the Doctor, Graham clears his throat.
"Hey, Doc?" he points at Y/n, "Who's this?"
"How rude of me," The Doctor stands tall in all of her pride, "This is my wife, Y/n L/n, And this," The Doctor places her hand on Y/n's stomach, "is Rainbow Moon."
"Her name is Tula, and you know that."
"Wait, wait, wait," Ryan says, "The Doctor's your wife. Did you get her pregnant, or?"
"She did actually," Yaz, Ryan and Graham looked between Y/n and the Doctor, "She used to be such an 'Oh don't even touch me with your pinky.' and look where we are. Expecting." Y/n tipped her head against the Doctor's shoulder
"So is it an alien thing?" Ryan asks.
"Well, not even thirty-six hours ago I was a white-haired Scotsman. So I'd say yes, it is an alien thing."
After almost an entire month of being alone in the Tardis, worrying her pregnant self off, The Doctor knew she'd have had a bunch of stress regarding her safety. In all that time, even though it hadn't been as long for the Doctor, she had been fretting about her wife and how the Tardis could show up any time in history for Y/n.
Now that she's back, the Doctor has Y/n laid down on a hospital bed in the infirmary for of the Tardis.
"All right," The Doctor says, "This'll be cold. Oh, I've always wanted to say that." The Doctor pours the ultrasound gel onto Y/n's stomach.
"Well, you are the Doctor. So I'll give you that Doctor." The doctor puts the stick onto Y/ns abdomen. The room fills with the steady heartbeats of their daughter. The Doctor kept her eyes on the Ultrasound machine.
"Wow," was all the Doctor could bring herself to say as tears flowed down her face, "That's her."
"Does she look fine?" Y/n asks.
"She's beautiful. Just like her mother." The Doctor takes the stick off of Y/n's stomach, "We're having a baby" the alien whispers to herself in excitement. Abruptly the color drained from the Doctor's face. "We're going to have a baby. What if she hates us?"
"Our baby is not going to hate us. She's going to love you." The Doctor put the ultrasound machine away as Y/n wipes the gel away from her stomach.
"Alright. Now, all we need to do is finish the nursery."
"Pretty much all we need to do is put the crib together. Which you will have to do because I can't read Gallifreyan."
"You did everything else?" The Doctor asks mildly distraught.
"It was a long month. All I knew to do was to decorate the nursery." Plus until an hour ago, I thought you were dead."
The trio of Ryan, Yaz, and Graham had mutually agreed to let Y/n and the Doctor finally have time together. So here was Y/n sat in the rocking chair as the Doctor put together the crib in nervous silence.
"Hm?" The Doctor returns not looking up from her project.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yup." She replies, popping the p. Dissatisfied with her answer, Y/n attempted to stand from her chair before the Doctor ran over to her. "Don't strain yourself, love."
"What's wrong, Doctor?"
"Nothing. I'm just trying to get used to my body."
"What do you mean 'Nope'?" The Doctor managed to get her wife on her feet.
"I mean Last time you regenerated you went into a mini coma. Before that, you had a weird craving for fish fingers and custard. And before that was a weird actual coma. I'm your wife. Try and make it harder for me, my love."
"Fine," The Doctor sighed, "I'm a woman now."
"I can tell."
"No. You don't understand. I'm a five-foot-six blonde woman and thirty hours ago I was a white-haired Scotsman. I've had quite a few companions over the years. Certain ones have stayed in between regenerations. They didn't always react well. I mean, new face, new personality, new hair. Why would they react well? I'm a new person every time. Even worse. Not a ginger yet."
"Well. Personally, I'm glad the you before wasn't a ginger. I don't need any ginger babies. Especially since I'm more into blondes." Y/n trie to joke. "I didn't fall in love with a Scotsman. I fell for the alien whose timeship I literally dissolved inside of one day. I fell for someone who basically broke the laws of physics because they wanted to make sure our daughter is safe when she's born. Now I'm just married to the person I love."
"Well, at least one of us is happy I'm a blonde."
"Really? I pour my heart out to you and that's your reaction?"
"I'm sorry. I'm not the best at these types of things."
"Are we gonna ignore the fact you basically picked out my wedding and reception dress?"
"At this moment yes." The couple looked back at the bassinet, "I can't wait." The Doctor shuffled towards the wall behind the bassinet. "I think I'm gonna paint Tula's name on the wall."
wayv’s reaction to their s/o taking care of them when they’re sick
love your blog :))
WayV’s Reaction to Their S/O Taking Care of Them When They’re Sick!
Hehe, thank you <3 I’m sorry about it not being too active recently, but I’m trying to pick it up again.
He gives me such a warm vibe
We all know that Kun is one of the members of NCT that care for the rest of boys.
A member of the Mom Squad™, if you will.
So when he falls ill and is unable to take care of himself due to a high fever and dizziness, he almost insists that he tries so he doesn't become a burden to you.
"You don't need to care for me, you know, y/n. I can do it myself..."
"Kun, you can't even stand for a minute without becoming dizzy. Just relax and stay in bed... Let someone take care of you for once."
He's the type that even on a sick day, he feels useless unless he's doing something.
Or feels as if he NEEDS to be doing something.
You'll have to reassure him that he can spend the day in bed.
His heart goes soft when you bring him food and drinks you've prepared yourself.
"Thank you so much for taking the time for this, y/n... It means a lot."
I think that Ten would kind of just relish in the fact that you're taking care of him.
He's so thankful that you are, honestly.
He's pretty confident that if you weren't taking care of him, he'd be a malnourished husk with a flu in bed.
"What would I do without you, y/n?"
"Well... I assume right now you'd be a dehydrated mess and feeling worse because of it."
When you bring him food or your special lemon tea with honey he finds it so comforting.
He may complain about the symptoms more than just trying to rest.
All in all, you're both relieved when he starts to feel better.
"I love you... Thank you for taking care of me. You really made me feel like a prince... A hella sick one but a prince nonetheless."
This gif makes me giggle. He's so cute.
I think Sicheng would want to be a bit more independent when sick.
I can't see him as the type that would want people to do things for him unless it's really necessary.
So when he's really down with the flu and the poor boy doesn't even have the muscle strength to get up and get himself a glass of water, it really impacts him.
"Thanks for taking the time to care for me, sweetheart... I know it's a lot of work and I should really be taking care of myse-"
"Sicheng, I have no complaints about caring for you. You're sick and I'm your other half so of course I'll take care of you."
He may feel guilty about being unable to do anything, so he'll need reassurance like Kun that's it's alright for him to relax and just have someone else worry about him for a little bit.
"When you get sick, I'll take care of you just as well as you took care of me."
Lucas would really depend on you when he's sick
I mean, you'd be his safe place, right?
So when he's in bed, tissues tossed everywhere as he whines because of the lack of nose breathing he's doing
You bring him a lot of comfort as you lay next to him
"I can't breathe through my nose, y/n... I don't want to become a mouth breather.."
"Do you want me to get out the Navage so you can clear your sinuses, then?"
"No. I don't want my brain tickled. I'll just live with mouth breathing for now..."
He never forgets to tell you how much it means to him that you take care of him.
And if you get sick from caring for him, he'll take care of you in return.
"Just hopefully the cold doesn't cycle between us..."
Xiaojun hits me as the type of guy that would try to brush off feeling unwell until the last moment.
For example, trying to power through the day with a terrible headache until he finally realizes that the headache has won the fight.
So when he's coughing terribly and has a stuffy nose, you have to convince him to stay home.
"y/n, I told you I'm fine," he croaks out before coughing.
"Look at you. You can't even speak a sentence, Dejun. Just stay home for today... Let me take care of you."
After you brew him some tea with honey and make some warm soup for him, he finally starts to admit he's feeling a bit under the weather.
"Maybe you were right... Thanks for making me stay home. I don't think I could've made it through the day."
When sick, Hendery is kind of like an obedient child
He'll do anything you say just to make himself feel better
I mean, who even likes being sick?
Tell him that he needs to have his soup and immediately go have a nap for his body to try and work out the cold
Man will immediately do that
"I just want to feel better, y/n..."
He's clingy too, he just wants to lay down with you and have you gently stroke his hair
Will update you on any symptoms as soon as possible
May also be the type to Google his symptoms and thinks he's going to die from a small chest cold
"It says here that I have tuberculosis! The symptoms match up"
"Hendery, if you had tuberculosis, your doctor would've sent you immediately to the hospital when you saw him on Monday."
Yangyang, along with Ten, would relish in having you take care of him
I mean, we all know how he tries tot get the rest of the members of WayV to bring him stuff all the time
He'd probably spend his sick day in front of his computer
"Yangyang, why don't you rest? You can't game all day..."
"Why not, y/n? What's the difference between being in bed and sitting at my desk?"
He'll try to show you that he's feeling better than he actually is
And by that I mean, he just wants you to think that he's not weak and that a cold can't bring him down
For example, if he gets a migraine, he'll try to pass it off as just a small headache and he'll be "fine"
Until it gets unbearable
It gets so bad, poor guy can't even read without having white splotches all over his vision
Finally, then he'd admit that he really needs to lay down and have a nap/rest
"You were right, y/n... If I just listened to you, I wouldn't be here suffering from a migraine..."
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Thoughts about some of my favorite romcom male leads. PART 1.
Disclaimer: this is pure shitpost and me having a lot of time on my hands plus being bored since no one of the dramas in my lists are convincing enough for me to watch rn (and it WILL contain spoilers about some dramas)
Decided to write this after my tiktok fyp basically harassing me w thoughts of my favorite characters in the genre. Might do more posts as i remember other dramas (should've made a list from the start, now i only remember if i watched a drama or not if i see some eps lmao).
Let's start w my supreme king: Ahn Minhyuk from Strong Woman Do Bong Soon played by another king himself Park Hyungsik.
Now i have seen a lot of mixed opinions from this drama, some people love it, some think it's absurd and i have to say even tho he's my favorite romcom male lead there's sumn things i really didn't like about the writing of the drama while watching it, so i shall start with that before of going on how much i love minhyuk: first the whole "let's keep her believing he's gay so he looks more trustworthy" i HATE the directors going on this path cause they showed it themselves all they had to do for bong soon to accept the job was the paycheck, also the only actual (confirmed cause i had serious doubts about his secretary) gay character being extremely annoying, yes, annoying cause i know his parts were supposed to be the comedy and it was most of it but u see the portrayal of non heterosexual characters is always quirky or mean spiritted on kdramas and that pisses me off.
Now onto why i love him so much: RESPECTFUL. He was madly in love w her even before he knew she was the girl from the bus from years ago (another kdrama cliché these mfs always know each other from their childhoods), but even tho they had kind of bickering relationship he never forced/manipulated his feelings upon her, even tho he knew she had feelings for that ogre of a second lead. He waited for her until she was ready to give back the feelings, HE LITERALLY GAVE HER A JOB AND KEPT PROMOTING HER JUST SO THEY COULD SPEND TIME TOGETHER WTF.
To not make this a gigantic post i'll be resuming some of my favorite scenes from him in the drama:
"I'll make you a real life Xena", when he learned about her powers he didn't get freaked out at all????? my man was down bad for her he decided to train her so she could make the best use of her strenght.
"Let's do this without anyone knowing, just the two of us" One of the most heart fluttering scenes in the drama, he plays off by saying he meant "training" when he knows damn well if she whistles he will dance to the sound she makes.
"To become lovers from friends is simple. One person has to take a step closer. And that one step changes their relationship." I CRY AND I CRY. His emotions pouring out his eyes and actions like that was his first confession, only an airhead wouldn't catch that, he was so fucking adorable.
"I care a lot about her, you can trust my word on that". He went to visit her dad's shop and her father told him to take care of her (like she needed but you get it). Her father being the first one to actually realize what was going on and secretly cheering for them, very cute to me, very pleasing.
"Can you please like me?". Pleek, he wouldn't need to ask me twice. This was after his confession when she asked some time to sort out her feelings (as if) and then minhyuk shows up after gook du stood up on her again (he had a good reason but i don't like him so whatever) and the following scene when she sees stars anda cute ass song plays in the bgm EXACTLY how i would be feeling towards minhyuk.
The kiss scene is quite obvious, i loved that corny cheesy cliché shit so much you wouldnt believe.
"Please look at me, please love me. You're peanut sized so i can carry you around in my heart but i don't think i'm in yours". THIS SCENE. Absolutely my fave from the whole drama. She had lost her powers and he was upset bc she didn't tell him what she was up to. He sounded SO fragile and worried but above all he was so honest. My sister shouldve said: THERES NO WAY ANYONE WOULDNT BE IN LOVE W YOU MY KING. Hyungsik was handcrafted for that role and specially for this scene. HIS EYES my god i cried a whole river.
Lastly, also one of my fave scenes: when she was trapped w the b*mb and tells him to leave and save himself and he says "i'm not leaving you don't be scared". MANS LITERALLY WILLING TO DIE BY HER SIDE. there's nothing left for me to say he was so in love and so cute and perfect and adorable also the reason i can't find anyone interesting cause no one is ahn minhyuk.
( Idea: From the moment you started dating, Raph loved to let you know how cool you are.
You liked to fluster him and be more than a typical girlfriend.
Sure you had kisses and dates, but what if you did more? )
Being atleast to his shoulder, you liked to go on tip toe to kiss his cheek even if you were not that short, it was funny to see his cheeks turn pink when you actually kissed his head instead. Sometimes you just want to hurry and kiss him, so you might jump and then wham, kiss on the head. He couldn't figure out why you go on tip toe when you could just lean in and pull him like you do sometimes to reach, but he's getting kisses, he's not complaining.
He picks you up? You pick him up... Or atleast an inch barely from the ground, hugging him from behind. Just trying to be cute and succeeding.
Can't reach a tall cupboard? If you call Donnie, Raph will march in and put you on his shoulders to reach instead. He's cute when he's jealous.
Ofcourse you take this as a go ahead to call him to reach for something high. Sometimes you just do it, even if you don't need to. You will climb on his shell, sit on his shoulders and hug his head.
MEDIUM height girls
This isn't too out there, almost the height or at the height of Leo, you and Raph are almost literally head to head, except yours atleast an inch above him.
You tease him sometimes lovingly saying he's your shortie.
He knows it's all in good fun and would say you're short too.
Since neither of you are that tall.
"Yeah, but I'm still closer to the sky than you."
"Come here and say that!"
Raph would chuckle, chasing you around.
If he catches you, you give him a kiss to stun him, before running again.
Sometimes when sitting, you can try to rest your head atop his, only somewhat succeeding, especially if he tilts his head to rest on your neck.
Shell scratches he loves those, fast, slow, or rubbing instead all of it feels amazing and makes him feel so much better.
When Raph made a scarf for you once, he put "you're crazy and I love you".
Lets just say he got plenty of kisses later on.
Sometimes it is hard to kiss you unless he leans up on his toes, or climbs up a little stool which you find adorable. He will do it just for you, that's how much he wants that kiss!
Raph is like goo around you. He's amazed. Not only because you're a fast learner when Master Splinter and Leo gave you a few basic self sense attacks to use, but he liked how it felt whenever you hugged him.
He absolutely LOVES it because he gets to hear your heart and feel his thumping, it's not in sync, but two hearts so close and he's with the one he loves, it makes him feel higher than the clouds.
Because he wants to have as much time with you as he can, he will volunteer to train you sometimes and exercise which you two do more often to build your strength and stamina.
You might be a little laid back at times, but he loves that too since he can take that as a moment to sit with you and wrap an around around you, or lift his weights so you can watch him work out.
He knows you like that and does as much to keep fit and to keep your eyes on him.
You like to hug him from behind and he likes to lean back against you, his cheeks flushing cherry red as he realizes your chest pillows are right against his head.
Once you're strong enough, you like to pick him up atleast a few inches from the ground. You can actually do it once you don't think too hard.
It astounds him to no end when you take the assertive lead and pull him to you for a kiss.
Cupping his cheeks, drawing him in, makes him explode mentally but a good explosion no worries.
If you felt shy about it, he would pull you close for a kiss, maybe one on the cheek incase he felt you didn't want it in the lips right now.
You have attempted to have him sit in your lap since he looked so small being a little shorter than you and you just wanted to hold him close, he's your baby, you didn't care if it looked weird.
A compromise would be having him lying in your lap, his head using it as a pillow, or if you pull him u so you can have your arm for him to rest his head on while the rest of him is lying semi on you and the rest on the couch.
Kisses on the top of the head for him are expected.
Shoulder rubs from up high make him melt.
If you felt like making his eyes grow as big as saucers, you might even kiss his nose or try an eskimo kiss, where you rub your nose to his. You can picture him turning red from head to toe and see the little hearts dancing all around his head.
You tried to give him a piggyback ride, just for fun.
He was unsure about it because he knows he must weigh more than you plus his shell, but when you insist and that still doesn't work, next two minutes, you're struggling to put him on your back and when you do succeed, you stay like that for a minute and then fall back into the couch.
It still ended well, you're both in each other's arms, as a concerned Raph looks you over asking,
"Are you okay?!"
To which you hug him and tell him everything's fine.
He's really only like this with you, because he knows he can share his vulnerable side with you.
He couldn't imagine doing this on a daily basis, but it became the norm, toned down to kisses and cuddles in public. It felt better when it was just you two.
Whatever your height, Raph loved every little bit of you. So cute, maybe sassy, unexpected and surprising him at times he loved it all.
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