#and I think the little ghost badge is kinda cute
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Project Voltage Mikus ranked by my personal taste from most to least favourite:
-Ghost. Glitchy ghost Miku. GLITCHY GHOST MIKU!! When I saw this one I gasped, it's so so good That fact that her tie is a little glowing ghost-wisp? The muted and simplistic colour palette? The "01" badge being a wisp floating next to her arm? I cannot stop screaming about it. It's. Perfect.
-Ground. Honestly it doesn't really look like Miku but I don't care it's a baller design and I love it, it was made to appeal directly to me with the adventuring themes and the tattered cloak. Her hair does remind me of thorns more than ground tbh but she still deserves her spot here
-Fighting. Of course she's paired with Sirfetch'd for the leek! I had no idea what direction Fighting-type was gonna be and while I am a little sad we don't get ripped Miku I can't deny that this design is great! The dark brown accents really help make the rest of the outfit pop and her hair is leeks you can't get much more on-brand for Miku than this
-Dragon. The mini-cloak worn over one shoulder, the claw hairclips, the sword that doubles as a mic?? Fantastic. I also think this is the design that fits her partner Pokémon best - she really does embody Miraidon
-Fire. This one is fun! Her hair is insane and I'm not entirely sure what's going on with those leggings (are those just patches of bare skin? how would you even wear those), but I love her eyes and her jacket. This is the one I want most as a module in a Project Diva game
-Psychic. I love it so much, she's so cute! It's a pretty understated design but I feel like it really works, ya know?
-Ice. I really, really like this one... mostly. The bright green gloves take a bit of the appeal away imo - on her eyes and earrings and tiny dots throughout her outfit the green accent colour is fine but the gloves take up too much space to be fully green. Her ice-heels are incredible though, no notes
-Steel. I don't what I expected for Steel-type, but it certainly wasn't a samurai! A pokéflute being worn as a sword?? Inspired. Her hat looks like it can double as a cymbal in case she needs to make some impromptu music
-Bug. Tiny little Miku! The bangs over her front resembling antennae and the multiple wing motifs on her outfit are next-level adorable. She fits in the palm of my hand
-Dark. I love her umbrella-mic, 20/10 that's the best accessory of the lot easily. And I like the rest of the outfit , but I don't like what they did with the pigtails - I understand that one's crescent-moon shaped but the fact that they are so wildly different in length and volume is really throwing me off
-Flying. This is the epitome of a Flying-type trainer's design. She's soft and flowy and looks like she belongs in the clouds. I don't know what's up with that single dark blue glove though
-Normal. The vibes are impeccable; she's just having a chill time. I really like all the colours that are going on and can rest easy knowing that this Miku definitely smokes weed
-Fairy. This one is very, very close to overtaking Normal but the face keeps throwing me off. Her skirt is very cute and I love her puffy socks. I get what they were trying to do with the hair but it just looks like she got strawberry bubblegum stuck in there
-Water. I like that the pigtails join together at the end - absolutely insane design, 10/10 - but it just. Doesn't look like Miku. I can certainly believe this as a water trainer design in one of the games tho
-Electric. You just took a regular electric trainer, gave her pigtails and called her Miku. It's an okay design overall, even if I feel like it's more on the bland side
-Grass. I flip-flop on this one, but my feelings are generally neutral. It doesn't really look like Miku imo but it does kinda look like Miku's cousin so I'll let it slide
-Rock. For one thing, I keep looking at that design and thinking it's ice. And I'm just not a huge fan of the flowy bridal-dress look (I know there's an alternate version and I do prefer that one... but only slightly, so it stays here)
-Poison. The epitome of overdesigned. Also why did you choose mustard yellow accents? On the goggles and gasmask it looks okay but in the hair?? Awful.
DISCLAIMER: this was in progress as the designs were being revealed and after I've had to chance to let my feelings on them digest for a while my opinions might change but this is how I feel about them all currently. Overall, pretty great!
And in case you have no idea what I'm talking about:
https://www.serebii.net/music/projectvoltage/
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Stucky Bingo Round-Up #8 (October 23rd - November 5th)
Don’t forget to fill out the submission form to be a part of the round-ups and to get your bingo badges!
DOOM: Incarnation by SucculentHyena
Square filled: G3 - AU: Evil Steve
Ao3 rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Blood, Gore
Major tags: DOOM AU, Future Fic, Demons, Demonic Possession
Summary: In his terrible rancor between worlds and through time, the Doom Slayer was called upon by many seeking his righteous fury. These wretched souls adorned their champion in a mighty armour, bespoke upon them with intent to call upon the rage of the Doom Slayer. With his symbol etched upon them, the locum of the Slayer set to banishing all that was left unbroken by his savagery to the void.
However, the summoning of the Slayer’s spirit comes at a price...
A price that Bucky will have to pay.
Format: Part of a multichapter fic
the third day in january by sparkagrace
Square filled: B1 - drinking games
Ao3 rating: Teen
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: blind date, modern au, truth or dare, mistaken identity, meet-cute
Summary: “Becca’s the one who set this up. You’re an orthopedic surgeon, you saw me visiting her a couple of times and asked about me… and I’ve just realized you’re not my blind date. Oh god.”
“No, I’m not,” Steve confirms with a grin, “but I kinda wish I were.”
aka Steve accidentally crashes Bucky’s blind date.
Format: Medium oneshot (1000 - 5000 words)
I love you even when you leave by endlesstwanted
Square filled: B5 - Morning run
Ao3 rating: General audiences
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Established Relationship, Surprises, Fluff
Summary: Bucky is learning to live with Steve again, and for that he wants to somehow join his morning routines.
Format: Medium oneshot (1000 - 5000 words)
A Work of Heart by PoliZ
Square filled: B4 - AU: Artist/Muse
Ao3 rating: General audiences
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Pre-War, artist!Steve, pining!Steve
Summary: Steve talks Bucky into modeling for his art class.
Format: Drabble (exactly 100 words)
Deep in the Fog by BBD2BH
Square filled: O3 - Napping
Ao3 rating: Mature
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Modern AU, Established Relationship, Lazy Mornings, Naps, Boys in Love
Summary: It’s a dark and stormy afternoon, which is exactly why Bucky thinks a nap is a perfect activity to partake in with his boyfriend.
Format: Short oneshot (300 - 1000 words)
“Have You Heard?” by cable-knit-sweater
Square filled: B3 - Stark Expo
Ao3 rating: Teen
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Modern AU, Pining, Robots, Fluff
Summary: A Modern AU version of Steve and Bucky going to Stark Expo.
Format: Medium oneshot (1000 - 5000 words)
Not a Ghost by cable-knit-sweater
Square filled: G4 - AU: Mythical Creatures
Ao3 rating: Teen
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Hurt/comfort, Recovering Bucky Barnes, Childhood Friends, Ghost Stories
Summary: Every couple of decades, the little town of Red Hook gets a visit from what they call the Barghest. It’s a ghost, an omen of death, and will show itself as a man disappearing in flames, a dog or a white cat. It crosses your path? Lays on your doorstep? You might as well plan your funeral. Unlike most of the people in his town, Steve doesn’t believe in ghost stories. Until things start to happen, and he worries he’ll have even less time to spend with his ill mother. Chasing a ghost, however, doesn’t exactly work out the way he thinks it will.
Format: Part of a multichapter fic
Not a Ghost by cable-knit-sweater
Square filled: O4 - Amnesia/Memory Loss
Ao3 rating: Teen
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Hurt/Comfort, Recovering Bucky Barnes, Childhood Friends, Ghost Stories
Summary: Every couple of decades, the little town of Red Hook gets a visit from what they call the Barghest. It’s a ghost, an omen of death, and will show itself as a man disappearing in flames, a dog or a white cat. It crosses your path? Lays on your doorstep? You might as well plan your funeral. Unlike most of the people in his town, Steve doesn’t believe in ghost stories. Until things start to happen, and he worries he’ll have even less time to spend with his ill mother. Chasing a ghost, however, doesn’t exactly work out the way he thinks it will.
Format: Part of a multichapter fic
A Story Book Meeting by Astaraiche
Square filled: B2 - AU: A/B/O
Ao3 rating: General audiences
Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Librarian!Steve, Single parent Bucky, Meet-Cute, AU: No Powers, A/B/O
Summary: Bucky falls for Steve
Format: Medium oneshot (1000 - 5000 words)
Mine by hanitrash
Square filled: N3 - free square
Ao3 rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/non-con, Graphic depictions of violence, HTP, Dead Dove, Branding/Scarification, Non-Con drug usage, Rape, Rape recovery
Major tags: Dom Bucky, Sub Steve, Come marking, Spit kink, flashbacks
Summary: Steve is captured by Hydra while on a mission. Naturally, that doesn't sit very well with Bucky, and he makes every person involved pay dearly for hurting his Steve. Once Steve is safe at home and on the road to recovery, Bucky takes measures to ensure anyone else will think twice about touching what belongs to Bucky.
Format: Long oneshot (over 5000 words)
#stucky bingo#stucky bingo round 4#round up 8#weekly round up#don't forget to fill out the submission form
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Day 3 of this round of Newcrest Adventures, and Eric Embers is starting to adapt to living in a haunted house! At the very least, he’s learned how to get some sleep while the specters are spectering, so. . .progress? *shrug* At any rate, he managed to top up his energy, mop up the mysterious symbols (and the water from the sink that broke -- unsure if that was just bad luck or that angry specter from last time), get some breakfast and some TV in --
And then Vaughn, a random guy he knows, just kinda -- showed up. For no reason. Eric and I were equally confused, especially when I couldn’t find the “send home” option on him. O.o Damn NPCs. . .fortunately, he wasn’t actually getting in Eric’s way either (just standing around in the living area), so I had Eric finish his food and attempt another ceremony instead of worrying about the intruder. This one went MUCH better -- sure, the lights flickered, but at least Eric’s new medium powers didn’t sputter out three-quarters of the way through! It also gave Vaughn a bit of a spook -- Eric reassured him that he was well on his way to becoming a proper Paranormal Investigator (complete with a badge -- feel like that shouldn’t unlock until you’ve got, you know, the LICENSE, but Eric was a Detective before, so maybe he just repurposed an old badge), and THEN finally got the option to tell him to shoo. XD About time. . .
After that, I ended up devoting most of Eric’s day to his own reflection -- dude had some Charisma skill to finish building up, after all! And, happily, after hours upon hours of talking, he finally did it! Level 10, maxed out, Friend of the World aspiration finally completed! :D
Just in time for Vlad AND two very angry little specter blobs to show up outside the front door! Apparently the game REALLY wanted me to do things other than just skill up. . .
#sims 4#newcrest adventures#eric embers#laserwolf#yeah Vaughn just walked into the house#and proceeded to stand there#I was like 'wtf'#'who invited you'#NPCs in this game can be super confusing sometimes#at least Eric did successfully pull off that ceremony!#and I think the little ghost badge is kinda cute#technically Eric IS still a Detective but he's on perma-vacation for the moment#figured I could use up all his vacation days while I worked on his Medium skill#that way he still has income while he works towards becoming a proper Paranormal Investigator#Sims may not have mortgages but they DO have bills sooo#queued
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**If this makes you feel things, please read moar**
Hiya, people. I have a really simple problem: I need money, and I would greatly appreciate receiving some here. To that end, I want to produce NSFW Songfell material (not individual commissions, but one collection of short pieces) at a rate of $1 for 20 words, up to 10,000 words.
Why? The short answer is that I am not facing homelessness or any other real emergency, we just really need a break. The long answer? Well...
*background ripples as flashback sequence begins*
Let's turn the clock back 18 years, when I was a wee lass of 19. I was moderating an anime message board for the Anime Web Turnpike (which was literally just a list of links to people's fan sites). I encountered a lot of cool people, especially another mod that I flirted with for a while and wound up driving a few hours to meet. We hit it off okay, but mostly as friends, which was fine. (If you're out there, Blue-Ghost, hi! Hope you're doing well!)
A couple weeks after this momentous occasion (I met a guy! For...sort of a date! And I didn't get murdered by an Internet stranger!!), I saw a post from a kid I'd noticed here and there. He'd never really stood out, just seemed kind of whiny and morose, as you do. Well, it turned out he was on summer break at New Mexico State University, and his mom had just gotten a job in my city in Texas, so he would be moving there for a few months--did anyone want to meet up and show him around?
Gonna be honest: I almost deleted it. I didn't really like this dude, and I didn't want our board to facilitate stranger danger. Buuut then I thought of meeting the other guy, and not getting chopped into pieces, and how I'd wished he lived closer so we could do friend stuff...so, with not much to lose (and the power to ban his potentially creepy ass), I PMed the whiny guy and offered to show him around town.
He was excited and non-murdersome, so I went ahead and agreed to meet him at his parents' house. To my surprise, it was barely 15 minutes from my parents, in a good neighborhood. Neat! So I went over there the next day.
...I don't think I'll ever forget driving down that street for the first time and rounding the corner, then immediately spotting my future husband. He wasn't the slouchy, twiggy douche I'd envisioned: he was a big, bearded teddy bear standing on the lawn with a nice smile, sporting a convention-style name badge and a Jimmy Buffet tarp held aloft to be sure I'd know which house it was. And I went...hm. Okay, cool.
Turned out his name was Mike, and he wasn't whiny. He was a shy, self-effacing, fairly awkward dude, and I thought it was kinda cute.
...I could literally go on writing this for hours, and I will do so if there's a lot of interest. To summarize, we met on the porch of my parents' house at 1 am just a few weeks later, the night before I was set to go live in Ohio for the summer. It was so awkward, we didn't know if we had to sign something or how exactly you get to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but we really liked each other, so yeah
...
Well. The story of how we met was cute, and I'm happy to report that we've been together ever since, married almost 10 years, and are the parents of a beautiful little girl. But life since then hasn't been very cute. We both eventually finished college with English degrees, and I have had literally two dozen jobs that my mental health has not allowed me to stick with--I was only diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD and bipolar disorder type II a few years ago, nearly in my mid-30s. I'm now a stay-at-home mom, which does not pay well.
So, yeah, I do not have and cannot keep a job that will pull my weight in our very modest household, much less allow us to do anything cool. We never had a honeymoon, just walked around downtown the day after the wedding, and then I went back to school on Monday; we've never taken a vacation longer than an overnight trip or a weekend in a local hotel. Our families are amazing (little did I know visiting his house that day, I would end up living there off and on for two years) and I fully credit them with our survival, but they can't fix me. D:
Meanwhile, Mike is drowning. He's suffered from depression and a boatload of health problems due to his weight, and has spent three years working his ass off at an editing position that demands PhD-level skill but pays less than a goddamn fast-food job. I have been a financial millstone around his neck for a long, long time, and he never says a word to me about it because he's watched me try and fail for over 15 years straight.
(How sad is it that I barely even remember he has $50,000 out in student loans? It's such an immovable, impossible thing that we're not even worried about it, just keep applying for forbearance and waiting for the 25-year mark when it'll be forgiven. Only 12 more to go!)
This is depressing, but good context for why we want to go to his hometown in New Mexico for our 10th wedding anniversary, and why we need some help. I paid our motel and airfare way in advance, but our babysitting AND housesitting have fallen through (long story) and we have to reschedule everything, which is $204 for the plane tickets and...hopefully, that's it, but even that amount kinda wrecks our food and transportation budget. (Rental car prices rn are insane omg)
I was on the cusp of asking Mike this past week if we should just cancel the damn thing and do our usual anniversary celebration of hanging out downtown for a couple days, but after a particularly bad day at work, he just blurted out, "Oh my God, we have to go on this fucking trip," and my heart broke in a zillion pieces. D:
I feel a little bad writing this whole screed for money when there are people who need help more than we do, but then I remember that it's not a zero-sum thing where only one type of problem deserves any attention whatsoever, and I am also offering a valuable service in exchange--namely, what happens when Frisk teases her 10-foot husband about keeping her like a pet. Please don't worry about it if you can't spare any cash, just share the link and/or send good vibes my way. Love you all kthx <3
P.S. My patrons will be getting previews and informal polls on what direction to take with my crowdfunded filth. If this works well enough, hell, I'll do it again for more smut, idfk
tl;dr My husband deserves much better than he's gotten from life, and it kills me that my mental illness has made him have to work so hard. I will write porn in exchange for enough cash to take him back to his hometown for a few days' respite.
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Deacon X Sole
The Deathclaw Incident
[AO3]
Sole stood in front of Deacon with her eyes narrowed. A large glob of green slime dripped from the ends of her hair onto the ground with a dull splat. Deacon’s mouth twitched in the corner but he didn’t let himself smile.
“Don’t. Say. Anything.” Sole warned, her already narrowed eyes getting even smaller.
Deacon raised both of his hands up in front of him, the perfect picture of innocence. “I didn’t, Charmer.”
“And don’t call me that,” Sole said with a groan of frustration.
“Why not? I thought you loved the code name?”
“You only call me that when you want me to smile. And I don’t feel like smiling right now,” Sole said, green slime still dripping from her.
“What’s not to smile about? You just killed a Deathclaw while I stood by with a busted gun,” Deacon said, the corner of his mouth now twitching up into a ghost of a smile. “That’s awesome.”
Sole allowed her eyes to lose some of their suspicion as she nodded slowly. “I guess that’s true. I am pretty amazing.”
“And who knows, maybe Deathclaw innard chic will become the new style,” Deacon said, now letting a full-blown grin spread over his face. “Maybe that Deathclaw exploding when you used the alien blaster was the best thing to ever happen to you.”
“There it is,” Sole said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I knew you couldn’t actually be trying to cheer me up right now.”
Sole stomped away towards the nearby sinkhole, careful to avoid the torrential water that would try to pull her into the underground cave if she wasn’t careful.
“Wait, where are you going? I was totally trying to cheer you up!” Deacon said, trotting to catch up to Sole.
He thought it was cute the way she huffed under her breath when she was mad. And he couldn’t ignore the adorable little line that formed between her eyebrows when her face got all scrunched up in anger.
Deacon wanted to take Sole seriously, but these little characteristics that he’d grown used to over the past months were so distracting. He tried to ignore the way his chest tightened when he thought about this.
“Come on. A little slime actually looks kinda cute on you,” Deacon tried.
“I’m going to rinse off in this waterfall, and then we’re never going to talk about this again,” Sole said, pointing an accusing finger at Deacon.
“Scouts honor, boss,” Deacon said, holding up two fingers.
“You were never a scout,” Sole scoffed with a roll of her eyes.
“I totally was. I was the leader of my bear pack… or... whatever they call it,” Deacon said.
Sole shook her head, her face still a perfect mask of annoyance. But when Deacon watched her carefully, he could see the small ghost of a smile that threatened to give her away.
He was getting to her. He was cheering her up.
The thought made his heart leap in his chest and suddenly, the only thing that mattered to him was making that familiar smile appear on Sole’s face.
“We roasted radroach meat and sang songs to get badges on those little sash things. It was adorable,” Deacon said, his easy smile returning to his face.
“Deacon, boy scouts weren’t even a thing in your lifetime. The only reason you know about them is because you’re such a book nerd,” Sole said, her voice significantly softer now.
“You say ‘book nerd’ like it’s a bad thing.”
Sole let a soft small smile pass over her face, another emotion there that Deacon couldn’t quite decipher. Fondness? He hoped that was it.
“It’s definitely not a bad thing,” Sole said. She looked at the ground for a moment, not wanting to meet his eyes. “I actually really love that about you.”
Deacon worked hard to keep his face carefully neutral at her words.
He had never been so grateful for the sunglasses he constantly wore.
“So, are you going to wash that Deathclaw slime off you or what?” Deacon asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence. His tone was light and teasing. He’d mastered the art of appearing calm and collected when he felt anything but.
“Good point.”
“We don’t want you sending off some weird Deathclaw mating pheromones or something. A bunch of Deathclaws looking for a good time is the last thing we need.”
Sole pulled a face of disgust at this. “Yeah, let's avoid that.”
Without another word, Sole turned her back on Deacon and carefully picked her way across the slippery wet rocks to where the waterfall crashed into the sinkhole.
Deacon told himself that he watched Sole to make sure she didn’t lose her footing and get sucked into the underground cave, but he knew that was a lie. Of course, being the incredible liar he was, it only took a moment for him to actually believe that that was what he was doing.
His ability to lie to himself was unmatched.
Deacon watched as the water crashed around Sole, washing off the slime from the Deathclaw fight and the muck from their travel across the Commonwealth that day. Her skin was shiny under the waterfall and her clothes clung to her in a way that made Deacon think he should look away. But he didn’t.
When she finished, Deacon quickly turned away, hoping she wouldn’t be able to see the blush in his cheeks.
Blushing? Really? He was a highly trained Railroad agent who had worked hard to remove any attachments from his life. The fact that he was blushing over a fully-clothed woman was just embarrassing. This was hardly the most compromising position he’d ever been in with someone of the opposite sex.
“I feel so much better.”
Deacon jumped at the sound of Sole’s voice beside him. He had been so focused on appearing uninterested in her little impromptu shower that he’d actually lost track of her for a moment.
“You smell a lot better now too,” Deacon joked, trying to keep his voice light and disinterested.
“Maybe I should have just stayed disgusting. It would be some nice payback for all the showtunes,” Sole said, giving Deacon a sideways smile that made him feel warm all over.
“You should feel privileged that I give our missions their own soundtrack,” Deacon answered. “Besides, I have the voice of an angel and you know it.”
Sole’s sideways smile morphed into a full grin as she watched him. “You do have the voice of an angel.”
Again, the sunglasses were proving to be extremely helpful today in a way Deacon had never anticipated.
“Glad you think so, Charmer.” Deacon let his own smile grow in the quickly fading light. “Wait, am I allowed to call you that again or are you still anti-smiling?”
Sole took a step closer to Deacon with an amused look. “You’re allowed to make me smile again. Now that I’m all clean.”
“Glad to hear it. If I can’t make you smile, what am I even doing here?”
His question was rhetorical but he felt it to his core.
Deacon had been excited for a new person to joke around with when he and Sole had been assigned to start doing missions together, but he knew something had changed. He craved the satisfaction of her smile. Every time it ghosted across her face, he felt like he’d accomplished something incredible. And in those rare instances when he actually managed to make her laugh, it was like he finally knew why he was still wandering across this barren wasteland. Why he hadn’t given up all those years ago after losing Barbara.
Because now, for the first time in years, there was a glimmer of hope. A hint that he could actually be genuinely happy again.
Sole shivered in the dying light, her clothes still wet and clinging to her.
“You’re going to catch a cold if we don’t get you warm,” Deacon said, taking off his leather jacket and wrapping it around Sole’s shoulders.
“Well look at you, Deacon. Who knew you could be such a gentleman,” Sole said, looking up at him through her eyelashes.
Deacon was positive that Sole didn’t know what she was doing to him right now. She was being playfully flirtatious, the way they always were with each other. But for him, it felt like she had his heart in a vice. Every smile only tightened the grip she had on it.
Deacon swallowed hard, desperately trying to hold onto his lighthearted facade that was one smile away from shattering into a million pieces.
“You’re not the only one who can be a charmer,” Deacon said, but his voice sounded all wrong. He hoped Sole wouldn’t notice.
Without thinking, Deacon put his arm around Sole’s shoulders protectively. “Let’s head back to Goodneighbor and get you warmed up.”
Deacon tried to take a step forward, but Sole didn’t budge. When he looked down at her, Sole was watching him, her eyes serious. It was an expression he didn’t see her wear often.
“Something wrong?” Deacon asked, his voice still giving away just how keyed up he was.
Sole swallowed hard and Deacon couldn’t help but notice the rise and fall of her chest. Her breathing was shallow. “I just… thank you for always having my back.”
Deacon shrugged nonchalantly. “You’ve got my back too. It’s just what we do in the Railroad.”
“Just one big dysfunctional family with guns?” Sole asked, repeating Deacon’s words back to him. It had been one of the first things he’d said to her that had made her smile all those months ago.
“Exactly.” His words came out soft. Softer than he’d meant for them to. But their close proximity made him feel like he needed to whisper.
Sole’s eyes darted down to Deacon’s lips for only a split second, but it was enough time for him to suddenly feel self-conscious. Involuntarily, his eyes also trailed down to Sole’s full lips, but he had the added benefit of hiding behind his sunglasses.
“Deacon… all joking aside, I really appreciate you watching out for me.”
“There’s no such thing as ‘all joking aside’,” Deacon said, his eyes still transfixed on the way Sole took her bottom lip between her teeth when she was nervous.
“Maybe just for a second?” Sole asked, turning her body so that she was now facing Deacon head on. She shifted her weight, bringing them even closer together.
He could feel the heat coming off of her body in waves, even as she shivered.
Sole took Deacon’s hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. Deacon’s breath caught in his throat at the unexpected closeness, making him feel ridiculous all over again.
“I guess I can be serious for one second,” Deacon answered. “But it might actually kill me.”
Sole leaned into him, her body now touching his. “It’ll be worth it,” she said, her voice low in a way that gave Deacon chills of his own.
The fabric of Deacon’s white shirt instantly dampened from the water still dripping off of Sole, but he hardly noticed, instead focusing on just how close they now were.
Sole leaned up and touched her nose to Deacon’s lightly, closing her eyes. Deacon seldom saw Sole in such a vulnerable position and the amount of trust it showed shook Deacon to his core.
He tried to be professional; at least, as professional as he ever was. He tried to tell Sole this was a bad idea, that it would make things complicated going forward. But he didn’t do any of that. Instead, he closed the last few inches between them, pressing his lips gently against hers.
Even though Sole had been sending him some obvious signals, Deacon still worried he’d misread the situation and she’d pull away from him. He was surprised when, instead, he felt Sole’s hands press against his stomach, slowly running up his body to his chest and finally behind his neck to pull him firmly against her.
Deacon let his hands rest on Sole’s waist, drawing her to him in the now dark wasteland. With the sound of the rushing waterfall beside them and the occasional distant gunfire that was all-too-common in the Commonwealth, Deacon revelled in this rare stolen moment.
His lips moved over Sole’s slowly and deliberately, wanting to take his time with the kiss. She felt soft and perfect. The way her fingers tangled in his dark hair and her shirt soaked his own grounded him in the moment.
The kiss lasted only a moment, but when Sole pulled away, Deacon felt the inevitable shift in energy between them. He already missed the feeling of Sole’s lips on his own.
“So, did it kill you?” Sole asked, her eyes searching Deacon’s face.
“It did,” he confirmed, still breathless from the kiss. “But you were right. It was worth it.”
Sole placed her hand gently against Deacon’s face, her thumb running along his cheekbone. Every time she touched him, it sparked something inside of him that he hadn’t felt in years.
It was dangerous but thrilling at the same time. Part of him wanted to give into it, but the other part was far too scared to explore those feelings.
“Consider it payment for the jacket,” Sole said, her grin returning before stepping away from Deacon’s embrace.
He instantly missed the warmth from her body, instead left with a dampened shirt and empty arms.
“That jacket is only on loan, you know. I expect it back,” Deacon said, impressed by his own ability to sound nonchalant when, inside, he was dying to be close to Sole again.
“Fine. I’ll give it back one day,” Sole said. “But it looks much better on me.”
“That’s obvious,” Deacon answered. “And if this is the way you pay me back for loaning you a jacket, remind me to give you any article of clothing you ever ask for.”
Deacon raised his eyebrows suggestively at Sole, making her laugh. The sound was soft and musical.
“Now we’re even Sneakin Deacon,” sole called over her shoulder as she sauntered away into the darkness.
Her tone was joking, but before she turned away, he saw the look in her eyes. It was the same one that hid in his own behind his trademark shades.
The kiss had devastated her and much as it had him. It had meant more to her than she was letting on and he knew it.
They were so screwed.
(Part 2)
#fallout#fallout 4#deacon#deacon x sole#deacon x sole survivor#fanfic#fallout fanfic#deacon fanfic#sole survivor#fallout sole survivor#fallout 4 fanfic#fallout companion#fallout 4 companion#fallout companions#fallout deacon#fallout 4 deacon
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this is in part because of your tags on the infodumping post, and in part because i genuinely know very very little about pokemon: tell me about pokemon! the basics, lore, and aspects of it you particularly like.
I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU DONT GET IT POKEMON IS MY SPECIAL INTEREST AND HAS BEEN SINCE I WAS 7 OKAY SO
i am most familiar with the games!! specifically the mainline ones, so thats what im gonna talk about! theres a lot of differences between the games but the basic structure is the same: youre in a specific region of a world inhabited by pokemon!! you meet with a professor, they give you a pokemon, you go on a journey to be the Best Pokemon Trainer Ever and make your pokemon fight adult's pokemon to give you badges and you gotta strategize to win (player characters are always 10 btw which makes this batshit bananas). there are 8 gyms, each with a "gym leader" who you fight to recieve a badge from to prove your strength. theres also the teams! often they have sorta edgy names (team skull im looking at you) and they steal peoples pokemon to try and wake up an old god legendary pokemon and it works and then you eventually catch The Literal Creator Of Time like what the fuck. also, to "beat" the game you have to fight the elite 4 and then the champion, or the strongest trainer in the whole reigon! champion fights are no fucking joke they are hard as all FUCK but so much fun.
there are 18 pokemon types: fire, water, grass, electric, ice, fighting, poison, ground, flying, psychic, bug, rock, ghost, dragon, dark, steel, and most recently, fairy!
pokemon can be a combination of 2 of these types, or just be a single type! they can also adopt new typing or drop old typing as they evolve (a thing where they change form and get stronger. and also usually less cute. and also its permanent.) which i think is neat! each type has a handfull of weaknesses, and each type has a handful of strengths!! fire is weak to water and rock (or ground i cant remember), water is weak to electric and grass, dragon is weak to itself fairy and ice, etc!! this also means that damage done can be... kinda weird!! say i use a fire type pokemon against a water type pokemon, but my fire type knows an electric type move- that move will still be super effective, even though the pokemons type itself would be not very effective!
now, after all that, im just gonna list some of my favorite pokemon: TOGEPI!! ditto, oddish, meowth, gastly, haunter, gengar, dratini, cleffa, aromattise, gible !!
thank you for letting me infodump about my favorite thing in the whole fucking world!!! /gen
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hillo sexthy legends !! i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !! x o x
* CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )
CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!
bullet point summary of margo.
— born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.
— its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.
— margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.
— for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.
— at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.
— she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.
— a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.
— she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away. it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.
— after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.
— she works at summer camps coaching junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.
— enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment.
— she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point
— used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory
— was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint
— nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)
— has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her
— she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier
— calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.
— stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her
— lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it off ebay because you thought it looked trendy
— constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.
— frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.
general vibe / personality
vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo
likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.
dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you, indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.
aesthetics
orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.
hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots
wanted plots
ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....
b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.
frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???
since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives
locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !
she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.
she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu
ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer
i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu
someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine.
TLDR: angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.
this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x
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Hi! Would you mind doing something with Elliot, smutty moment while the reader is trying to work from home from his apartment borrows his sweatshirt but things just get carried away? Thank you in advance!!
Elliot’s eyes flicked to the clock on his computer screen for the hundredth time.
When you had shown up last night, close to tears because the power was going to be out all morning in your neighborhood and you had a career defining Skype meeting at exactly 8:15 am, Elliot listened carefully before pulling the most normal response he could from his repertoire.
“Uh, you can spend the night and just work from my place. If you want.”
Your exclamation was difficult to interpret until you looked into Elliot’s eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you! I was hoping you would say that. Well, that or that you would hack the city’s electric grid just for me!” you teased, not at all paying attention to the way Elliot balked at your response.
“That’s illegal,” he replied in his typical monotone.
You giggled and lightly smacked his upper arm.
“I’m teasing! You’re good with your computers, but I don’t think anyone is that good,” you said, your face still full of laughter. “Otherwise, you would have hacked the lottery already and at least moved uptown.”
Elliot smiled nervously, which wasn’t all that different from the way he usually smiled.
“You know I don’t care about money.”
“I do—otherwise I wouldn’t be here, panicking about missing this meeting tomorrow. If it goes well, I’ll shoot to the top of the list for a promotion.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You’re already doing more than enough. I appreciate this. Just leave some room in your calendar for a celebratory dinner. I’ll let ya get gussied up, darlin’ and I’ll take ya somewheres fancy,” you said in a silly accent, making Elliot smile his sweet, three-point grin.
When it was time for bed, he insisted on taking the couch. You equally insisted there was room for two in his bed until you saw the look of horror on his face, then backed off.
“You’re a great friend, El,” you called softly through the dark apartment before you snuggled deep into his bedding, enjoying being all wrapped up in his scent.
Elliot fell asleep with a soft smile on his face, no more than a slight upturn at the corners of his mouth.
* * * * *
When you woke up to an Elliot with a towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets sliding from his wet hair down the muscles of his back, digging through his closet, you bit your lip to stifle a gasp. It was clear he thought you were asleep and as he padded back into the bathroom to get dressed, you had to fight to ignore the tingling sensation between your thighs.
Elliot was attractive, and it was impossible not to wonder if there would ever be more to your relationship. With guys less complicated than him, there would have already been something more. But Elliot had only ever made it clear he was interested in your friendship. Never had he indicated there was anything more he wanted.
Ignoring the desire to slide your fingers discreetly between your legs, knowing it would be very, very wrong to get yourself off in your friend’s bed after he was kind enough to sacrifice his privacy for you, you looked at your phone and shot up, not realizing you had already hit the snooze button . . . twice.
You were so busy getting yourself presentable from the waist up in record time that you barely heard Elliot say goodbye as he left for work. Your eyes flicked in the direction of his voice and you gave him a nanosecond of a wave goodbye.
Elliot shook his head as he shut the door, then smiled as he locked you in.
All day, he thought about you sitting in his bed, the contents of your makeup bag everywhere, your hair pulled into a presentable ballerina bun, your bare legs that looked so soft and shiny in the dim light of his apartment poking out as you braced yourself on the floor, and he wondered what it would be like to touch you, to feel his fingertips ghost over your shin before sliding up—
“Night, Elliot,” Angela called before Ollie ushered her out of the door.
Elliot blinked and looked at the clock again.
5:04 pm.
He gathered up his things and scrambled out the door to catch the train home, deep in thought.
Meanwhile, your meeting had gone perfectly, and you had gotten a lot of work done. The only hitch in your whole day was the fact that it was freezing in Elliot’s apartment. You fiddled with the thermostat and kicked at the radiator like you had seem him do, but nothing happened.
Eyeing his favorite piece of clothing warily, you figured that as long as you didn’t get it dirty or manage to tear a hole in it, he wouldn’t mind. You laughed a little as you nestled into it, realizing it was snug across the chest.
You thought back to Elliot’s towel-clad body and realized his lean muscles were deceiving; he really was a skinny thing.
Snuggled back under the covers, you had switched to working on your laptop and were just about to go through your last round of emails for the day when the keys sounded in Elliot’s door.
His eyes found you instantly, and you couldn’t tell if it was relief or disappointment that crossed his features.
That was until he took a few steps into the apartment and his brow furrowed.
“Is . . . is that my hoodie?”
“I hope you don’t mind. It’s absolutely freezing in here.”
Instead of moving toward the radiator, Elliot stepped closer to the bed where you were situated, giving no inclination that he had even heard you.
His eyes seemed to be memorizing you as they scanned over every inch of your existence until you cleared your throat and sat up, reaching for the zipper at the base of your throat.
“I’ll just, uh, put this back—”
“No,” Elliot growled in a tone you had never heard before and one that made you go completely still.
He blinked and stepped back, realizing he had done something wrong.
“Leave it on . . . I mean.”
Slowly, your hands fell away from the zipper. You shut your laptop without looking away from his intense gaze and moved it to a spot on the floor beside his mattress.
“Is there . . . anything . . . else you’d like me to do?” you said slowly, figuring now was as good of a time as any to test the new way Elliot was looking at you.
He licked his lips, and shrugged out of his backpack, letting it fall to the floor with a clunk.
“Stand up.”
You took a breath and pushed the blankets from your hips, giving you enough room to step out of the bed. You hadn’t changed out of your sleep shorts, not really seeing a reason to since your meeting was only from the waist up.
Elliot’s eyes ran slowly over your body, once. Twice.
You felt self-conscious and reached up to smooth your hair, then for lack of anything else to do with them, you slid your hands into the pockets of his hoodie, your right hand connecting with his lighter.
You watched as Elliot swallowed before taking a few more steps toward you, his eyes never leaving your face.
“Take . . . will you, I mean,” he said shaking his head and starting again. “Will you take off your shorts?”
Ohhh, your mind and body thought at the same time.
“Uh huh,” you answered, pulling your hands from his hoodie pockets and working to untie the drawstring on your shorts before hooking your thumbs in at the hips and pulling them down. It hadn’t occurred to you to care what kind of underwear you were wearing, so now all you could do was pray they were cute.
Elliot’s hoodie stopped right below your hips and the slightest movement would let him know what they looked like, so you stayed still, waiting to see what he would do next.
He cocked his head to the side, slightly, as his eyes swept over your bare legs. When he looked up at you, he smirked.
“Looks good on you.”
Christ.
You crossed the room and grabbed him by the Allsafe badge he hadn’t even taken off yet and pulled him in for a kiss. He chuckled against your lips, probably from nerves, but that didn’t stop you and eventually he got the point, bringing his hands up to pull your hips against his.
You licked at his lower lip, and he parted his mouth in a sigh, letting you stick your tongue in before he started kissing you back. He was so warm, and everything about him felt so good.
When you felt his hands clutch at your ass, you made a noise of appreciation before closing the kiss to look him in the eye. It took him a moment to open his lids, and when he did, you admired the way the undiscernible color of his irises darkened.
“Does this mean you wanna be more than friends? I’m not really a one-off kinda gal.”
Elliot’s lips twitched up in a quick, shy smile.
“I’m not very good at this kind of thing.”
“My panties are soaked, El. From a fucking kiss. I think you’re pretty good at it.”
Elliot laughed and pressed his forehead to yours.
“No . . . I can do that part pretty okay. I mean the more than friends part.”
“Like a relationship?”
“Yeah. That’s not, uh, my forte.”
“No, shit,” you said laughing and moving back to look at him.
His eyes were the happiest you had ever seen them, so you pressed on.
“We can take this very, very slow.”
Elliot nodded, then his brows contracted.
“Uh, how slow . . . because . . .” he said, as he adjusted himself under his dress pants.
You narrowed your eyes and thought for a moment.
“What brought on this . . . shift?” you asked, reaching out to lightly run your fingers over his bulge.
Elliot swallowed, then explained, “Seeing you in my bed this morning. You’re pretty when you’re chaotic,” he said with a slight smile, and you laughed.
“Is that all?”
“I couldn’t stop . . . couldn’t stop thinking about your legs in those little shorts. I kept thinking about what it would feel like to touch them. They look so soft.”
“Let’s start with that, then,” you said, pulling him toward the bed. “Sit.”
He sat with a little bounce, then looked expectantly up at you.
Moving so that you were standing between his legs, you looked down and softly said, “Touch me.”
Elliot’s lips parted as his eyes immediately turned to your bare legs.
He reached both hands out and placed them on top of your thighs before moving them slightly up, then circling them around to the back. His fingertips were just below the cheeks of your ass, but he slid his hands back down—past your knees and down your calves before he shifted to the front and ran his hands all the way up to where he had begun.
You reached out to steady yourself on his shoulders, shocked that such a simple touch was leaving you literally weak in the knees.
“Is, uh . . . this okay,” Elliot asked, his fingertips flexing up and down on your thighs as he paused to check your facial expression.
“I think I need to lie down,” you said with a smile.
He smiled back, and for the first time today, you felt warm, despite the loss of your shorts and his blankets.
Maneuvering onto the bed, you laid back against his pillows, bent your knees for a little leverage, and parted your legs, inviting him to get close enough to keep touching you.
Elliot kicked off his shoes and climbed onto his knees, sitting back on his haunches as he wiggled into a position between your feet.
This time, he started there, stroking the tops of your feet before sliding up and down your legs, gently kneading your calf muscles and your thigh muscles when he felt inclined to change up the pressure of his touch.
“Elliot,” you breathed, your eyes closed and your body’s heat continuing to climb.
Elliot removed his hands from your legs and shifted his position so he could lay on top of you. He kissed you this time, his lips moving slowly, occasionally pressing harder or softer, in a perfect echo of the way he had been touching your legs. When his tongue dipped into your mouth, you bucked up into his hips, your center connecting with his hard cock.
He groaned, and it was the hottest sound you had ever heard.
“Can—” you panted from under his kiss. “Can I touch you?”
Elliot moved your hand directly to his dick and pressed hard, and normally, you would have laughed at his eagerness, but you were a mess beneath him.
Making quick work of his trouser fastenings, you pushed open his pants and slid your hand into his boxer-briefs and grasped his hard cock.
He groaned again, making you shiver with need.
“Can you touch me, too?” you all but begged.
Elliot immediately reached between your legs and pushed your panties to the side, fumbling through your wetness, clearly not expecting that you really meant it when you said you were soaked from that first kiss.
He did chuckle against your mouth this time, and you joined him.
“Toldja,” you said with a smirk as you started jerking him off.
Elliot’s hips were pushing into your hand, and yours were pushing into his. He slid around your pussy for a few seconds before making a beeline for your clit, your need to get off too evident to entertain any exploration tonight.
Elliot’s fingers were skilled, and he quickly brought you to an orgasm by rubbing sharp, consistent circles over your aching clit with his thumb. Your pumps of his cock faltered as you let yourself go, but then you quickly doubled your efforts, wanting nothing more than to watch his face while he came.
“Y/N,” Elliot hissed, as he bucked into your hand, his cum spilling over your palm and coating it quickly as you continued to stroke him through his orgasm.
His elbows shook and he rolled off of you, onto his back. He was breathing heavy and his cheeks were tinged pink, his lips still glossy and swollen from all of your kissing.
“Wow,” he breathed out.
“I agree.”
Elliot looked over at you and smiled, a genuine smile that lit up his eyes.
“I’m glad your power went out. And glad my heat broke today, too”
You turned your head up to the ceiling and laughed, tugging the zipper down on Elliot’s hoodie to let your too-hot body cool down.
“What a series of fortunate events,” you said, leaning over to press a kiss to his forehead.
#Elliot alderson#Elliot Alderson x reader#female reader#Elliot Alderson smut#Rami Malek smut#thirsty thursday#still working my way through the requests#gosh y'all are thirsty and I LOVE it#thirst team#woo
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Are there any moments in the pokemon anime that you think a win from a battle, contest, or showcase should have gone to the other character?
- honestly, a ton of jessie’s showcase performances in kalos, but i get especially salty about her coumarine show
it’s not even that i wanted jessie to win it, but the reception she received was so pointlessly negative. like, there was no reason for it to be so negative?? she could have just... lost by a few points and the story wouldn’t have changed, but they made it a total flop??
the challenge was pokemon styling and while the girls went for cutesy themes, jessie crafted what was essentially a halloween costume for pumpkaboo. jessie’s a coordinator so she’s using coordinator’s tactics here--you accentuate what your pokemon does best, and so she accentuated the menace of her ghost type. but kalos isn’t for coordinators, kalos is a Girls Only club of conventionally attractive pokemon to sit around looking pretty and conventionally attractive all day and fuck you if you want to try to push those standards or show off what makes your pokemon unique. no. cute and pretty only.
literally LOOK at this shit it is phenomenal????
HOW WAS THIS EVEN A CONTEST... BUT NO KALOS THE LAND OF NO JUDGES LET THE AUDIENCE DECIDE MOTHERFUCKING AESTHETIQUE ASS HIPSTER BLOGGER PREP ASS FRENCH FUCKING TWERPS
i really, really, really hate showcases.
- jessie also should have won her contest battle round against harley by technicality in saffron city. vivian giving BOTH of them yellow cards is the most foul shit i have ever seen. there is no reason jessie should have been penalized for harley’s actions or her responses or HAVING A WOBBUFFET. god im so mad.
basically harley refused to attack, locking them into stalemate. wobbuffet can’t attack unless first dealt damage, harley took advantage of this and gave saffron city the most boring contest battle ever, and for some reason both him AND jessie got punished for this??? i dont understand why the judges fucking let that fly liKE.... HOW WAS JESSIE SUPPOSED TO RESPOND!!!! HER POKEMON IS A WOBBUFFET!!!
everything that happened after that was clever on harley’s part but the beginning of it makes me so fucking mad.
- i am a kalos league anti, but my reasons for it aren’t butthurt at ash losing a league or thinking XY is the best series or what have you. i am more than fine with ash losing leagues forever, actually! i mean, he’s my boy and i’m rooting for him, but to me leagues are just one way he can succeed and grow, they aren’t the be all end all of his character.
the lead-up to ash’s loss at the kalos league + how it ended was bad fucking writing! plain and simple. ash had a tried and true breakdown in kalos, one that had been building for the whole leg of the anime. he’s surrounded by friends who idolize him, sometimes to a fault, he’s partnered up in a new and strange way with a pokemon who has a history of deeming its trainers not worthy, and by the time he’s going for his eighth badge? ALL his rivals are surpassing him. sawyer started following in ash’s footsteps, and right before ash challenges snowpoint, sawyer beats him. ash is confronted dead on with the fact that in no time at all one of his rivals has surpassed him. like it was nothing. couple that with the fact that ash has NEVER won a battle against alain--alain comes out on top, every time. in the months leading up to the league, ash’s losses mount and mount and mount and he breaks down and runs away, something UNHEARD of from someone like him. the story frames it as though all these losses are the precursor to a triumph--that’s what you do in storytelling. you drag your protagonist down low, the lowest you can get them... and then, through hard work and true grit, you allow them to defeat the odds and overcome their struggles.
but kalos didn’t do that. kalos whittled ash down to nothing and then made him lose again to the person he’d been losing to for the entire anime. no matter how satisfying that battle with alain might have been, it wasn’t enough to make me feel like ash got the good ending he deserved in kalos. i am very happy for all that the alola league did to remedy his past losses... but i still do feel like we were robbed beyond belief.
- more of a general thing, but i think jessie should’ve won at least one hoenn contest! i think she should’ve had a better shot. it sucks to watch her in hoenn and know she’s just kinda wasting screentime because they wouldnt allow her a win. also would have liked harley to win a little more onscreen, but narratively i understand why they only gave him ag160 and god what a fucking battle that was i still think about it all the time. its in my dreams.
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The Hunters Chapter 10
Title: The Hunters Chapter 10
Summary: What happens when four idiots get together? Nikki’s looking for his dad. Tommy’s trying to get out of his mom’s shadow. Vince is along for the ride. And Mick is just trying to keep them alive. Which is harder than it sounds when then Winchesters join the fray.
Warnings: Language, violence, m/m smut, canon divergence, character deaths (temporarily), wincest if you squint (may add more tags as I go)
AN: I have a bunch done, but I’m lazy so I’m sorry.
A Few Months Later
Motley Crue was the name the four settled on. They had to be the first hunting band, and damn, they were good at it. Voula, Bobby, and Rufus were all just glad that they now had permanent hunting partners. They played some gigs for money, but when they were out on the road and couldn’t book anything at a bar or club, they all had talents that they could use. Tommy was pretty good at distracting people while Nikki hustled pool. Nikki had learned that the night he watched Tommy kill the vampire in the alley of the Roxy.
They met up with the Winchester’s a handful of times, swapping stories and such. But Tommy could tell that there was something off, something they were keeping from them. He didn’t want to push though. He had heard of the Winchester temper that came along with the hunting skills.
“I found us a hunt,” Mick told them. “Poltergeist out in Nevada. I thought it would be worth our time.”
“I’ve actually never done a poltergeist before,” Tommy admitted.
“Dude, they’re a blast,” Vince rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised that Winchester hasn’t told you all about them. The two of you talk a lot.”
“Winchester?” Nikki asked, his head popping up from where he was writing. “Which one?”
“Sam and Tommy are buddies, thanks to me,” Vince laughed. Tommy rolled his eyes and glanced over at Nikki, who was gripping the pen he was writing with tightly. “So, you two going to go out on a date soon or what?”
“Vince!” Tommy shook his head. “We’re just friends. We tell each other about research and such. He complains about Dean, and I tell him things we’ve done. That’s it.”
“Uh, huh. Sure,” Vince winked and nudged Tommy, who pushed him away.
“Okay, that’s enough of that,” Mick sighed. “Let’s get out there and get this done so Tommy can cross poltergeist off his list of hunts.” Vince and Mick headed off to get ready for the hunt. Tommy walked over to Nikki, who was still staring at his notebook.
“Nik?” Tommy asked. “You okay?”
“Just fine,” He grumbled. “Come on. Let’s get a move on.”
****
They found a motel in Ely, Nevada. Tommy had ridden with Vince in the Challenger, since Nikki didn’t seem to want to talk to him. It was going to be an eight-hour drive, and Tommy would rather listen to Vince’s bad singing than a cold shoulder from Nikki. Two rooms paid for and the boys headed in. Normally Tommy shared a room with Nikki, but this time, he headed into Vince’s, causing Mick and Vince to share a look.
“What did you do?” Vince growled at Nikki. Nikki held his hands up.
“Nothing, promise,” He told him. “I don’t know what his deal is.”
“Yeah right,” Vince rolled his eyes. “Ruining my plans.” He mumbled as he headed into the room.
“What plans do you have? You and Mick…” Nikki trailed off and his eyes widened as Vince closed the door and looked over at Tommy who was on the bed farthest from the door.
“So, we’re roomies again?” Vince asked with a laugh. “Why aren’t you with Nikki?”
“He was really short with me after a certain someone,” He looked up at Vince. “Basically told him that I’m seeing Sam Winchester when you know damn well who I like. So now, you’re stuck with me for the night.”
“Well, that’s cool and all, but I kinda had plans and…” Vince rubbed the back of his neck at the room door opened and Mick headed in with all their bags.
“Hey babe, I thought that since we were…” Mick started.
“Shhh!” Vince hissed. Mick looked up to see Tommy sitting on the bed, his eyes wide as he looked between Vince and Mick.
“I...are you two…” He chuckled a bit. “I never would’ve seen the two of you together.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vince asked.
“Well, I mean…” Mick cleared his throat, cutting Tommy off.
“Okay, we need to get some interviews done with the family before we start digging at bones,” Mick explained. He unzipped a bag and threw Vince his suit. “Get dressed babe. I wanna head out soon.”
“Wait, you two are going?” Tommy asked. “What am I supposed to do?”
“Take a nap, because you’re sleeping in the car when we get done with this hunt,” Vince winked. Tommy glared at him before storming out of the room. He took a deep breath and leaned against Nikki’s car. A bit later, Mick and Vince came out, dressed in suits with their badges ready to go.
“See you later T-Bone,” Vince winked as him and got into the car with Mick, driving off with a wave. Tommy sighed, trying to figure out what to do next, when he heard a door open and looked up to see Nikki standing there.
“Sorry,” Tommy pushed himself away from the car and headed towards the vending machine. He put in a dollar to get himself a Dr. Pepper and noticed Nikki loitering nearby. “Did I scratch the car?”
“What? No,” Nikki shook his head. Silence fell between them again.
“Do you want a drink?” Tommy asked a second later, opening his can and taking a sip. He handed Nikki some coins so he could pick something out before heading back towards the rooms. Nikki looked at the coins and sighed before he got himself a drink and he followed Tommy.
“So, you’re staying here?” Nikki asked when he walked up to Tommy hanging out outside of Vince’s room.
“Tonight I’m sleeping in the car,” Tommy told him. “Did you know Vince and Mick are…”
“I just found out,” Nikki told him. There was some more awkward silence, but soon Tommy and Nikki were trying to speak at the same time. “Oh, you first.” Nikki smiled at him.
“Uh, why did you get so mad when Vince told you I was talking with Sam?” Tommy asked, looking down. Nikki sighed and grabbed his arm, pulling him into his room. Tommy yelped a little, but followed him. “Nikki?”
“I’m not mad you’re talking to Sam,” Nikki ran his fingers through his now dyed hair. “I mean, I am, but not for the reason you think I am…”
“Then what is it?” Tommy asked. Nikki sighed.
“I like you Tommy,” Nikki explained. “And it just hurts that you’re with someone you see less than once a month, someone who can’t appreciate you and…” Tommy laughed then. “Is my pain funny or something?”
“I’m not dating Sam,” Tommy told him. “We’re friends. I’m crushing on someone else.”
“Dean?” Nikki asked, completely oblivious.
“And people say I’m clueless,” Tommy laughed. “I like you Nikki. But I didn’t think you’d feel the same way about me so I just never said anything.”
“Wait...what?” Nikki asked, staring at Tommy like he couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth. “You like me? You’re not dating Sam?”
“Oh my god,” Tommy smiled at him. “You’re so clueless it’s cute. I’ve been crushing on you since we met after I killed that vampire dumbass.” He sat down on the edge of one of the beds. Nikki smiled and was about to speak when Mick threw the door open.
“That was the quickest interview I’ve ever done,” He laughed. “Didn’t even have to talk to the family. The caretaker of the estate told us all about it and we got what we needed.” Vince followed behind him with a big grin on his face.
“We’re going to get the speed record for fastest turn around on a hunt.” He laughed. He looked from Nikki to Tommy. “Did we miss something?”
“Nope,” Tommy shook his head. “So what are we looking for?”
“The spirit is William Goss. He was a disgruntled former employee of the estate, back when the current owners great, great grandfather owned it,” Mick explained. “According to the caretaker, he’s buried off of Pole Line Road.”
“So, we’ll wait until nightfall and go knock out some ghosts,” Vince laughed. “But first, let’s get some lunch. Place in town claims to have the best pie around. I want to be the judge of that.”
Forever Tags: @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme-deactivated2020040 @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe @mrslogansixxpixx
Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx-deactivated20 @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @scarecrowmax @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies @ilovetomkeiferslips @kaitieskidmore1 @useyourillusion @xpoisonousrosesx @slash-me-up @hauntedapricoteggsclam @lucyboytom @reigns420 @solopadawan @frehleys-mint @madamsixx @appetiteforstradlin @acdcmutual @wildsiide
The Hunters Tags: @rock-n-roller-coasters
#the hunters#motley crue#tommy lee x nikki sixx#terrorcest#tommy lee#nikki sixx#mick mars#Vince Neil#supernatural#fanfiction
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Top 10 Least Favorite Pokemon
You know what’s harder than making a top favorites list? A least favorite one. I was particular about this list because I wanted my own personal opinion on the matter instead of adding to the echo chamber that can be the fandom’s. I don’t hate these Pokemon. These are the ones I care for the least. Also, the placements kept changing for this list, but I feel like I finally put everyone on here in the right order now.
10) Whismur Line
The only reason this line is the Normal typing is because Game Freak hasn’t made the Sound typing official. Hell, Electric, or even Steel, would have made more sense. But nope we got these weird fleshy sound-based things that I’m never excited to see.
9) Greedent
I take back everything I said about Diggersby (still wished it didn’t have the belching model cry though), and I’m directing that towards Greedent. It looks like your typical fat, lazy, and not particularly bright cartoon character. Almost feel like they were a bit lazy in this design. Like… they could have done something more, or less since it’s large enough. I feel like Game Freak is trying to recreate a likeness to Snorlax, since it’s the poster child for obese Pokemon, but keeps falling short by giving us the ugliest designs. We don’t need more fat normal types. We’ve got plenty.
8) Electrode
Hey guys, let’s make this Pokeball based Pokemon flip upside down, make it less pissed off and call it an evolution! Also, it’s going to be crazy fast as well explode, most likely killing anything nearby, because why the fuck not? Boring and dangerous… what a match made in hell for a design!
7) Pheromosa
It’s an almost 7 foot tall sentient cockroach with legendary stats. Nope. Just nope. *flees*
6) Grimmsnarl Line
I have been disappointed with this evolutionary line since seeing the leaks of Impidimp. I know a lot of Faerie lore and it ticks me off that they chose a Goddamn Goblin for the first Dark/Fairy type. Also, and I know not all Faeries are cute and cuddly, but why does Game Freak keep trying to sneak in ugly Fairy types? About 95% of the Fairy typing has a cute or pleasing ascetic. That’s one of its themes, that and trying to throw pink on everything, so why give us this ugly line?
The only indicator of this thing remotely being Fairy typing at a glance is that it’s pink. I would have never gotten Fairy otherwise from it. Goblins might be in Faerie Tales, but they aren’t Faeries.
The only one in this line that remotely gives off the Dark typing to me is Morgrem. The other two not so much. Putting black on a Pokemon is maybe another indicator of the Dark typing, but even then it ain’t helping…?
Overall to me this thing is goofy to ugly looking with its design and typing a complete mess. It irritates me that our first combination of Fairy and Dark is this line…
Also, using it in a playthrough and it pisses me off that I’m not getting a Fairy move until it reaches its final evolution! That’s if I don’t want to grind up watt points in the Wild Area for a Fairy TR, or beat Opal before getting said evolution!
5) Shiinotic
Fairy typing makes sense for Morelull when you realize what it’s based on. Hell, even Ghost does. But Shiinotic? I don’t care if mushrooms are a big thing in Faerie Culture. You can’t just design some ugly ass alien mushroom hybrid then slap the Fairy typing on it because of mushrooms or lore from a pre evolution! While we’re at it let’s make the Amoongus and Breloom line Fairies too!
Morelull should have been a single stage line. It would have made sense. But no. They just wanted to make an ugly Fairy type just to prove they could say: “hey fandom I know you’re sick of all the cute and pink Fairy types so here’s an ugly one to change things up!”
And don’t get me *started* on that ugly ass shiny! Game Freak: bright yellow and muddy browns are a terrible color combination! Guess why?
4) Spinda
You know how I praised Alcremie for having multiple forms because of what it was and why it made sense for it? Well I have the opposite opinion regarding Spinda.
If I didn’t believe in the golden rule of everyone having a favorite of each Pokemon then I’d very much assume this thing wasn’t liked by anyone.
Everything about its design annoys me. Why is it a panda? And before anyone tries to tell me otherwise, it’s in its American/English name. Why is it in a constant state of vertigo? I literally was trying to think of a typing it would be better off as instead of the Normal typing and none come to mind. So it’s normal because a) it’s an animal or b) because they needed to give it a typing and no other typing fit.
And out of ALL the Pokemon why does this one have an almost endless possibility of “forms”? This thing has got to be a living dex collector’s worst nightmare!
3) Archeops
This Pokemon is on here for pure personal reasons. Technically there are a few other Pokemon that I feel the same towards, but this one was the worst about it.
You know you have a stupid powerful stat as a non-psuedo legendary and legendary when you need an ability to nerf you. What’s worse is when you need a pretty bulky Pokemon to soak up the damage you reap before said ability does nerf you.
It was always Goddamn terrifying to run into this Pokemon in White 2. Not only was a good chunk of my team weak to Flying, but my Samurott couldn’t take more than one hit from it. Not to mention it didn’t do enough super effective damage to OHKO this thing. So I was never happy to run into this thing because I would only get out of the fight with a lot of collateral damage to my party!
This wasn’t the only Pokemon that was this fucking difficult to deal with in Unova. There is definitely a power imbalance in these games which made playing them a pain in the ass. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Black 2 & White 2, but fuck me if this wasn’t my biggest issues with those games…
(Some of y'all are probably wondering about Slaking, and Slaking is actually easier to deal with thanks to its typing and ability readily triggering.)
2) Pelipper
This Pokemon was originally going to be my least favorite Water type on my favorite and least favorite typings lists, but I think its placement on this list suits it better.
I honestly don’t mind its pre-evolution Wingull. Wingull is kinda cute. Wonder Trade had me groaning every time I saw one, but that was more the player’s fault than anything.
Pelipper is just such a poorly designed Pokemon. Like, what were they thinking when they essentially fused the beak and stomach together? How can this thing carry its front heavy, well front? I assume it can handle all of that weight being airborne since I doubt it can get around any other way with its stubby little feet.
Then they gave it the Drizzle ability and suddenly people give a shit about its ugly ass…
The only time I’ve “willingly” used one was in my Wonderlocke, which was only due to the fact that I was in dire need of a water type, and I'll tell you that right now that I didn’t want to resort to using it. I’m pretty sure it died at the very end in the Champion battle… wasn’t all that sad to lose it if I’m being honest.
This isn’t just reserved for this Pokemon, but I absolutely hate the dual typing of Water/Flying. Nothing says “throw a rock at me” more than this typing combination.
Overall I just don’t like anything about this Pokemon.
1) Greninja
This Pokemon used to be a lot lower on this list, but as I mentioned right before the list that the order changed as I was making it. I can promise you that this Pokemon isn’t on here because of how popular it is (there are others that would be on here if that was the case). There are many other reasons I will go over as to why this one is on the list.
The first is my experience using a basic one in XY. It’s learn set of moves is terrible, and that’s because it learns a lot of physical moves despite having a much better Special Attack. When I thought about the aspects of a ninja’s special attack being higher than physical it made much more sense. It had little to no options for Dark type moves with one of the best moves for it not being available till you’ve gotten the 8th badge for Waterfall. Greninja was the weakest member of my team with my Aromatisse putting in much more work than it! If Greninja is not competitively trained as well as has any of its hidden abilities then it’s not really that useful. I kept the one from that playthrough because I don’t have the heart to release it or get rid of it…
The second is its design. I very much don’t care for it (its tongue scarf is gross!). Its middle evolution looks so much better to me, and it made me sad evolving it into this ugly thing…
The third is its typing. I’ve had some time to think about it and I’ve wondered to myself: why is Greninja a Dark type? Thinking of the history, and to some extent the mythology of ninjas, nothing screams Dark type to me. I’m also taking into account of Dark being Evil in Japan, and nothing about ninja inherently screams Evil or Dark typing. Then I found myself thinking about its other typing in Water which brought me to the conclusion that the only reason Greninja is a Water type is for two reasons: 1) It’s a starter and 2) it’s a frog.
So you’re probably thinking by this point: “well Radish if you don’t like its typings then what would you change them to?” Unfortunately, I’d keep Water since it’s not the only Pokemon to have a typing based on the animal it is (looking at you Poliwag line!). Dark typing would be replaced with Ghost since ninjas in their lore and mythology can traverse and interact with the spiritual world.
I will address the elephant in the room for my closing thoughts on this Pokemon: Greninja and the fandom. I wholeheartedly believe that if Greninja didn’t have the hidden abilities that it did that it wouldn’t be as favored as it is among the fanbase. As someone who used a basic ability one in hopes of giving it a chance I was greatly disappointed, and didn’t understand why this Pokemon was so popular. That’s why I feel as though the competitive scene is where it has gotten all of its fame from. People give Charizard so much shit for being overrated but do they for Greninja? (Not a big fan of Charizard for those who wanna accuse me as such.)
#whismur#loudred#exploud#greedent#electrode#pheromosa#grimmsnarl#impidimp#morgrem#shiinotic#spinda#archeops#pelipper#greninja
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The Totally Not Normal Train Station
There is something to be said about the aura in a train station. People bustling to and from different places, unaware of how time stands still as they wait. There is something to be said about the people that use the train station located on E. Federal Dr. They are the type of people who care little for the rules of the universe or the rules of time.
For example, see that man with the extremely tall top hat? The one who looks like he came out of the 1850′s? His name is Michael Kain, he is not in fact from the 1850′s. He is from the 2080′s. Shocker right. Don’t worry, top hats don’t come back into fashion. He’s on his way to a convention.
Don't look shocked, here. Look at that woman in the sun dress, now I know what you are thinking, “Why is she wearing a sundress on this cold and chilly winter day.” It's because it’s not. In fact, she is currently living in last summer. I think she's on her way to meet her date. How do I know? Look at the date on her ticket and the flowers in her other hand. Spooky right? Not really, I know her. She likes to relive this one, not entirely sure why.
Look at that child over there. The boy with the blonde hair and the blue eyes, who is currently wearing a red striped shirt and jeans. You didn’t notice him before? No shocker there, that's the point. His job is to look as generic as possible. Why? I just told you, it's his job.
Now look at that dog over there, isn’t it cute? No nothing is wrong with the dog, it's just a dog I wanted to point out, sheesh. Now that alley cat over there, that ain’t no cat. Look at it closely, look at its fur, how it flickers in and out of sight? How it glides through the shadows, how no one notices it as it curls through their legs. It's familiar of course. And if there is a familiar there's a witch!
Look at that man over there, he is the only one who acknowledges it. What do you mean how do I know! Look at him, he keeps peering towards it as he reads that newspaper upside down, he is clearly the witch. Look at his bag, can you see the herbs poking out? Don’t worry, it's basil. Stop freaking out, Basil is used for protection, which he so clearly needs.
Ugh, look behind him, that man in the shadows, it’s a federal agent. Oh, come now, did you really think the feds wouldn’t be looking for him? What for? For magic use obviously! Of course, it's a bit too late for a protective spell, can’t do much against the law I suppose.
Now that woman over there is interesting, I’m not 100% sure what she is. I mean there are so many different races it's hard to keep track! No, stupid. I’m not talking about human races; I’m talking about aliens. She could be a martin, but they don’t usually appear as a woman. Although, that would be the greatest disguise.
Now, now. Ignore her, she isn’t looking for trouble, that person in the corner, by those trash cans, now they're looking for some trouble. In fact, from the looks of it, they're about to start a fight with the woman standing next to them. Of course, that won’t do anything, seeing as she's a ghost and last I checked you can't punch a ghost. Believe me.
Oh, here comes the train. No, don’t get on. It’s not ours, it's theirs. You clearly haven’t been here before. There are multiple trains that go through this station some are for us, and some are for the others. This one in particular houses the circus. No not a circus, THE circus. That woman in the corner is going to get on, so is that man near the stairs. It’s funny though, seeing as they are on opposing sides, of course THE train is the only place they will get any privacy! Star crossed lovers obviously. It's like you've never been in love with the killer clown of the opposite circus, whose leader is a master sorcerer who is threatening to kill your mother.
Oh, Look at that woman who's just come down the stairs. Her name is Emily Van Weber. She runs this train station. She is very powerful, so I wouldn’t talk to her. Of course, she is powerful, her last name is Weber? As in of the Weber family? As in the world best time weavers? Wanna know something funny? She was supposed to take over the family business, but then she took a trip to Venus and fell in love with this alien who I believes’ human name is Ken, so she ditched everything and made a bunch of underground, illegal train stations, like this one, who defy the laws of time and space. She is technically wanted by the entire galaxy. She also runs an underground bunny smuggling operation. Yeah yeah, keep laughing, but there are times and places that don’t have bunnies and will pay a lot for some.
Now that man next to her is definitely not Ken. I think he’s Alexander Murdoch. The future president. Don’t worry, you won’t live to see him rule. He's super corrupt, but like he’s chill with the place existing, so long as we hook him up with 1920’s dishwashers. Hey! It's actually the most smuggled item in his time, you can make a load of money, and it's super illegal. Like “punished by death” illegal. Eh, I'm not sure why, I don't take trips to his time often, it's quite boring really, and by this time the protests have quieted and the people are complacent, which is clearly no fun.
Don’t look down trodden. Here, look at this badge. Yes, I know it looks worthless, but it's from a rebel group a couple of years after his “death”, don't question the quotation marks, and I am a part of it. They totally tear down the government and like it's pretty dope. Why wouldn’t I be? It's a rebellion!
Alright, quiet down, I want to hear their conversation. Well I want to know what type of dishwasher he’s looking for, so I can get it first. I'm going to sell it to him obviously. Ugh, okay so here's how the deal between them works, she doesn't need to get it for him, but as long as someone who works or uses the trains sells it to him then it's fine. Don't be like that, I am a part of the rebellion, I am also making money on the side. Yeah, it's a bit manipulative, but it's not like the rebels know about this place, besides we’ve tried to start a rebellion sooner, but there is only so much one can change.
Is that... Oh crap, Stand in front of me. No not like that, like this. Now don’t look at me, it'll blow my cover. That woman over there, the one who just showed up, the one in the wedding dress. We aren't on great terms, in fact most of the people here aren't on good terms with her. She is probably going to her wedding, or well one of them at least. She is literally married to someone in each era. It keeps her cover up. She is looking for a way to bring her true love back. Doesn't seem hard I know, considering time means nothing in these parts. But here's the thing, her love doesn’t exist. Okay, okay, wait till she leaves and I’ll explain.
Did she get on the train? Good. That means she's headed for the 80’s, interesting. Anyway, like her love used to exist, but then she was caught committing this suuuper bad crime, so they uncreated her? I can't tell you what she did, just that I helped catch her. Which, in hindsight I feel bad for, considering I kind of agree with her. But that's not important anymore, she can't be brought back because she no longer exists. Don't look so scared, you wouldn't even be able to commit the kinda crime that would get you uncreated, your body literally would not survive it.
On another note, have you seen that man that was standing at the stairwell, when she came in? He entered the train? Great, just great. Well I was supposed to meet him a couple years ago, thought I would explain myself to him, but seeing as he's already popped into the 80’s and I really don't like the 80’s, I’ll see him some other time. No, the 1980′s are fine, in talking about the 3080′s. It's kind of a mess. Don’t worry about it, just some mega virus turning people into mindless pigs. Eh, they figure it out, but y'know, a lot of people get sick, and I really can't deal with it.
Welp. Guess that's that. Where am I going? Nowhere, you’re leaving. Well, your train is here, and you have to go. Tell you what, if you find this place again, I’ll be waiting. I’ll tell you more next time. But for now, you have to go. Or else, you'll be here for another couple hours, and you don't have that kind of time. Heh, time. Hurry the trains going to leave!
Goodbye! See you in a couple of years! Stay away from milk, trust me! Also stay away from your parrot. Oh, did I say that out loud? Don’t worry about it! Bye!
As I said before, there something about the train station on E. Federal Dr. Just like there is something about the train Station on SW. Kentucky RD. Or on NE. Venusian St. It’s not the fact that technically these streets don't exist or that the train station cannot be found by those who don't deserve to find it. But rather. it's about those who are considered worthy of it that really make the place what it is. I mean, who decides that a smuggler, a ghost, a killer clown, a spy, an alien, and you are all worthy? The aura of this place, an aura filled with the weirdest of things, time and space and hope and power and love and hate. This aura that shouldn't exist, but does. It is the aura of the worthy, and only those who understand that enter.
#fiction#supernatural#writing#art#ghosts#time#space#train#i wrote this in a hour#which is not a surprie seeing how bad it is#weird#fantasy?#fantasy#definitely ripped somwwthing off but idk what#woops#author#write#prompt#train station#train track#bending time#trash writing#trains#ive never used a train can you tell
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Medea Plays Pokemon Sword: Part III
The NO BEDE episode!
I do like these random campsites on the different routes. You can tinker with different curry recipes and see their different pokemon. So far, the Eeveelution tent is my favorite.
I got a cute shot of Umbreon and Espeon. And then I visited an all-cat tent!
Oh dear God.
Okay, these are some judgey-ass cat pokemon. They don’t like me making the curry.
Time for Circhester. I’ll check out the hotel first.
Don’t worry, it wasn’t a murder. Apparently some berries went missing.
True culprit.
You sir, are no Phoenix Wright.
Let’s head to the gym.
A trap? Are we talking about pitfalls or landmines? Because I really don’t want a, “SURPRISE! Your leg just blew off”.
Fuck this gym.
Like seriously, fuck this gym.
Melony’s gym in Pokemon Shield is going to be just as screwy as this one, isn’t it? I’ll find out when I play Shield.
Thankfully I made it through Gordie’s challenge with my limbs in functioning order.
Let’s head off to Route 9.
These guys again! They’re crazy fucks, but I love them.
This is the part of the game where you get the bike upgrade that allows you to ride on water. Just heads up if you’re going to retrace your steps in earlier parts of the game, on the other side of those waters lays some pretty powerful pokemon (level 50+). Just FYI.
So the Yell twats shut up all of Spkemuth so Marnie and I have to go in through the back entrance.
At least this place isn’t like Po Town in Alola. I have to pay to get my pokemon healed at their center. This center thankfully has a Nurse Joy.
Okay time to meet the gym leader Piers...oh God.
I already have a severe distrust for this guy if he’s British and has the name of Piers. And you can all blame Piers Morgan for that! Because Piers Morgan has the likability of a chapped ass-crack.
So what’s this guy like?
OH MY VARIOUS DEITIES!
It’s like if David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, and Sid Vicious all puked on a pentagram made of Hot Topic gear and this fucker emerges.
I fucking love this.
Can I get tickets to your next show?
Can I officially join Team Yell?
But first, gotta get past the tossers in the gym challenge.
Okay...this feels like I’m walking in Downtown Oakland...AT NIGHT.
Why is there a Kanto Mr. Mime he...oh, who the hell cares?
I have a feeling that I’m about to be yelled at from these blokes in the window.
Fucking psychic!
Oh my God, these fuckers are insane.
*snorts*
Marnie is officially best girl.
Okay 7th gym battle time (no Dynamax).
Needless to say, I got my badge.
And I made Team Yell cry (even the pokemon).
Then we get a brother/sister moment between Piers and Marnie. Yeah, they’re siblings.
No Gym Leader Marnie for now.
Also, I say Piers is trans, try to change my mind.
I’m already tinkering with story ideas now!
Immediately after winning the 7th gym, an incident happens.
And Champion Hammy comes in to save the day!
See what I mean?
I’m gonna take a break from gyms and go back to the wild area to...
You know what? I’m sick of you fat squrrelys coming unannounced when I’m trying to get rare berries. For fuck’s sake, fat squirrely looks like the Gilbert Grape mother squirrel from that one American Dad episode.
Anyways...made some new dishes with some rare items.
I feel bad for that last one. We’re gleefully eating Slowpoke tails. Why does this seem so wrong?
And now ladies and gentlemen, fucked up Pokedex entries!
The last several games have given us some pretty messed up entries. Let’s see if Sword continues the tradition.
O____O
What in the actual shit?!
I know this one’s on my team and I nicknamed her Hepburn. Now I’m wondering if I should rename her...
Yuno Gasai
So it purposely aims for someone’s face? What a dick!
Oh ghost type pokemon, don’t ever stop being fucked up!
Uhhhhh...if I remember correctly, Haunter licked Ash’s Charmander in season one.
In fact, this moment was shown in the first OP theme FOR OVER 80 EPISODES! That’s the second time Charmander almost died if that’s the case!
So Gourgeist’s body gives off sounds of wailing souls in Hell? Mind if I steal from the Nostalgia Critic?
“A FAMILY PICTURE GAME”
These children you’re guiding, are they alive or dead?
It eats about 8 lbs of sugar a day? Do pokemon develop Diabetes?
This...makes sense.
I mean Galarian Darmanitan kinda resembeles Stinky Wizzleteats and he’s been known to steal food from people around this time of year.
Oh yeah...I made it happen...
Winston evolved.
And I immediately had regrets. Especially after watching Pokemon this morning and seeing this little breadloaf!
Koharu, never evolve the thunder-butt.
Another evolution happened.
Congratulations! Your Assistant Sonia has evolved into Professor Sonia.
Final gym time.
God, I hope that isn’t an ad for male enhancement drugs.
I defeated Raihan and his double battle challenge.
This dude took a selfie while Dynamaxing.
You and Leon seem to be more than just friends.
I think I found the cog in the Leon x Sonia ship.
More like an 8 inch dick-wrench, eh? Nudge Nudge, wink wink, say no more!
Now that I have all 8 badges, I can capture all those nuclear strength pokemon in the wild parts. Like...
No way!
Oh, fuck naw!
Get away from me you floating rice balls!
I’m looking for Ditto, not you fast mother fuckers!
I did manage to get a few decent catches like Gallade and Glaceon. As long as I don’t run into anymore surprises...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Nope, still can’t handle Mr. Mime.
To be continued.
#pokemon#pokemon sword and shield#mr. mime#espeon#umbreon#gordie#raihan#leon#sonia#professor magnolia#piers#marnie#team yell#meowth#glalie#bewear#yamper#boltund#haunter#gourgeist#swirlix#hattrem#stunky#darmanitan
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Winchester Protection
What is this? A REQUEST? How odd... Anyway, I think this was from a whole year ago by now, but I wrote it anyway. You never know, I might actually write all those requests I’ve been gathering for ages...
@phantom-adele-24601-deactivated asked:
Hello! Can you write a Sam Winchester imagine in which he is super protective? But not in an annoying but in a cute way? Thank you!
I kinda strayed from this a lot and... I don’t even know if this person will ever see this, but this fic is finally here...
Your clothes, as a hunter, were mostly denim, flannel and leather. So it was kind of refreshing in a way to put something else on. Of course, the clothes you were day-to-day were the durable kind of comfortable. They had to be, considering your job. The leather jacket you’d taken a liking to had delayed vampires and werewolves from biting before, so it comforted you a little. You had to remind yourself as you dressed to leave that you weren’t going to go up against one tonight. Just maybe a ghost trying to pull all your hair out. Well, that’s what it’d been doing to it’s victims so far.
You tried not to think of that possibility while you were getting ready. You had spent too long fixing your hair for this for it to be torn out by a sadistic ghost. And you didn’t fancy your make up being ruined by blood tonight. But who were you kidding, that was likely to happen anyway. You sighed at that thought, deciding you’d done enough to look decent. There was a knock at your door just as you were adjusting your dress one last time and grabbing your sparkly purse.
“Come on out (Y/N), taking longer doesn’t make you more of a girl” Dean joked. You heard Sam snap something back and the sound of them bickering all the way back down the hall. You smirked, remembering the fact that the boys had never seen you in anything but your jeans and flannel. It had become a joke between you and the brothers, you weren’t much of a girl on the day-to-day. Oh but this would be fun.
You headed out after being sure they had gone back to the library to wait. The place you’d have to get into would be far more upper-class than any of you were used to. So you were of course also excited to see them dressed up. That thought had you walking a bit fast down the hall, your heels clicking on the hard floors as you entered the library. The brothers were still bickering as you walked in, both looking quite handsome. They didn’t look up for a moment, too caught up in their argument.
“Hey, (Y/N)” Sam spoke up, cutting off his brother. “Would you tell Dean that-” He cut himself off with a sharp gasp as he finally took in your appearance. Dean glanced over at his reaction and whistled loudly.
“You look damn good (Y/N)” Dean pointed out, smirking. “Hey Sam” He nudged his brother, who was still staring at you with his mouth slightly open. “Sam, doesn’t she look good?”
“Oh, yeah” Sam nodded, snapping out of it. “Yeah she- you look really good (Y/N). You look… yeah” He cleared his throat awkwardly. You smiled, trying to hide the smirk in it like Dean wasn’t.
“Thanks boys” You grinned. “You both clean up good” You pointed out, joining them by the table. You couldn’t help but notice how closely Sam’s eyes followed you. “We ready to go?”
~~~~~~~~~~
You nearly laughed when Sam opened your door for you when you got there, but only grinned at him. He grinned back, offering a hand in a gentlemanly manner. You did laugh that time, taking his hand and letting him help you out. Dean rolled his eyes as he tugged at his cuffs. He was obviously having a much less pleasant time than you two. You both simply ignored his grumpiness, and you hooked your arm through Sam’s as you headed inside. The place was big and elegant and to put it frankly, not a place you thought you belonged. But you were dressed right for the most part, at least tonight.
“Hey” Sam called quietly, drawing your attention. He looked slightly concerned, maybe he’d realized your train of thought. He smiled reassuringly. “Can I get a drink for the most lovely lady in the room?” He offered, tilting his head in the direction of the drinks table. You grinned, unable to help yourself in the face of his flattery.
“We should really be trying to find this ghost-”
“We know who the guy’s after, and as long as she’s in our sights..” Sam glanced at the drinks table again and that time you noticed the hostess; a very glamorous looking up woman with elegantly styled bleach blonde hair and a dress that sparkled more than the chandelier above your head. She appeared to be scolding a waiter. “We’re still doing our job” Sam finished. “So, drink?” You smiled again, giving a short nod in response. Sam assured you he’d only be a moment before he headed over to make your drink the way you liked it.
You were barely standing on your own for five minutes, scanning the room for any signs of the ghost you were expecting, when a stranger in a black tux and a sleazy smile sidled up beside you.
“Hello gorgeous” He greeted, taking a sip from his drink, obviously a very diluted alcohol, probably thinking it made him look cool. You sighed, glancing away. Maybe you should’ve just gone with your usual outfit.
“Sorry, I’m here with someone” You informed him curtly. He laughed a little.
“I don’t see anyone here, babe”
You rolled your eyes, catching a glass of the strongest thing you could see off the tray of a passing waiter. You held up a hand to keep him there for the moment it took you to down the drink and return it to the tray. Definitely not the nicest taste, but you decided you needed it if this guy was gonna keep it up. You thanked the waiter as he moved on. Speaking of the guy still standing beside you, he was now staring at you with wide eyes.
“So you like the strong stuff, eh babe?”
“Figured I’d need it with you hanging around” You sighed. He frowned. Sam rejoined you at that exact moment and you took your drink from him gratefully while he frowned at the man beside you.
“Who’s this?” Sam asked, glancing at you.
“Guy who wouldn’t leave” You shrugged.
“Guy who’s a bit fed up with you treating me like trash. You didn’t even ask me my name!”
“Didn’t want to know” You shrugged.
“Why you-” The man narrowed his eyes at you, passing off his drink to a nearby waiter.
“I think that’s about enough” Sam told the man in a warning tone, getting between him and you while you sipped your drink. The man glared at him and then you one last time before taking a step back.
“Fine, you keep her” He sneered, stalking off.
“Gladly” Sam muttered under his breath. His gaze softened when he looked back at you. “You okay?”
“I’m fine” You assured him, trying to hide the fact that you were a little struck by his last comment. You glanced away from him, hoping to ensure he wouldn’t catch you blushing. Sam tried to get your attention back but before he could achieve this you had taken off, striding across the room towards a doorway. A doorway you had just watched your glamorous hostess disappear through. Sam followed you without questions, sensing the down-to-buisiness vibe and trusting you to have picked up on something.
You placed your glass on a small table decorative just beside the doorway as you passed it and heard the clink of Sam copying. You heard shuffling in a room not too far down the hall and slowed your steps, quietly kicking your heels off and pushing them to the side of the hall as you pulled your gun from where it was hidden; strapped to your thigh beneath your dress. Sam blinked in surprise from behind you at the reveal of your weapon, silently retrieving his own. You paused at the edge of the doorway, listening, before dashing inside.
To your disappointment, your ghost’s target was alone. The noises you’d been hearing were not the sounds of someone being attacked, but the sound of her frantically searching papers. She looked up and gasped at the sight of you standing there, a gun held pointed at her.
“What are you doing here?” She asked, horror in her voice. “Didn’t you say you were FBI?”
“Yes, we are” You agreed, lowing your gun.
“Except you’re not” The woman sneered suddenly. “Because I ran your silly little badges with your silly little rock band names. You don’t exist. Which makes you hunters…” You frowned, but before you could say anything you felt a hand tangle itself in your hair and pull sharply, tugging you backwards. You cried out and Sam turned with wide eyes. You dropped to the ground, but the hand didn’t loosen it’s grip. Thankfully, that’s not what you were going for. Sam now had a clear shot, and he took it. The ghost disappeared and you clambered quickly to your feet, pointing your gun again at the woman at the desk.
The blonde now held a long lock of dirty blonde hair, grinning with glee. The hair was braided and woven with herbs and other creepy stuff you didn’t want to think about. She had control of the ghost. Just great. You made your way back inside the room and up to the desk, Sam slamming the door shut behind you and keeping a look out.
“This ghost killed all of your friends, the reasonable assumption would be that you were next. The only survivor of the family business founders. Why kill them all?” You growled out.
“Why wouldn’t I? Go from a sixth of the profit to being the sole owner of one of the most profitable businesses in the state! Next up, nation wide!”
“And what, kill anyone who gets in your way?” You sneered. You hadn’t liked her from the start.
“Well I hate to sound predictable, but of course” The woman laughed. “And who else would be in my way now, but you two?” She smiled. It was at that very moment that the door burst open and Sam was knocked backwards with it. By the time you turned to confront the ghost it had already reached you, throwing you backwards against the wall. You gasped for breath, trying to spot your gun before you were attacked again. There it was, by the desk, some three feet away.
The ghost swooped down on you with a shriek, one hand in your hair and one around your throat. You really weren’t happy to find that one hand seemed to be all it took to completely cut off your air supply. It felt like only a moment, and simultaneously a lifetime before the ghost released you, stepping back and turning her attention to the woman behind the desk.
“No. No, you can’t do this” The woman begged, backing away. Sam knelt down at your side, looking you over while keeping one eye on the other occupants of the room.
“I burned the hair, why is she still here?” He questioned, frowning warily at the ghost.
“I couldn’t risk loosing her” The woman gasped. “But I only bewitched that piece! Please! Stop her!”
“I’m willing to bet that’s what your partners said to you when you set her on them” You responded evenly. “Sorry, it appears business is closed”
When the woman was taken care of, the image of the ghost faded into a much more civilized picture, turning towards you and Sam.
“Thank you” She spoke for the first time. “Please know I never wanted to hurt anyone. I never would have wanted to harm you”
“I know” You told her. She smiled and with a soft flash of light, she was gone.
“Hey Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Told you that woman was damn creepy”
#supernatural#sam winchester#winchester#sam winchester x reader#x reader#reader insert#reader insert fic#x reader fic#supernatural x reader
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Janis & Jimmy
Janis: the lure of coffee machine burns and demanding customers proved too strong? Jimmy: Your gratitude at getting another smoothie an' all Janis: you found out I was a big tipper? Janis: grapevine getting oddly specific and vaguely complimentary Jimmy: Your boyfriend never said nowt, awkward and 💔 Janis: which one Janis: have to put him on the 'really, never again' list Jimmy: the one who works here but ain't me Jimmy: Pete Janis: so that's his name Janis: cute Janis: well he can't go on that list so I take it back Jimmy: Or I'm lying Jimmy: but I reckon I'd give him a better name if I were Janis: exactly Janis: one every lad has like Jimmy: what every lad don't have is a 🎸 and a band attached Jimmy: he's WELL unique 💕 Janis: OMG Janis: makes so much sense why you're 💘 Jimmy: I ain't 😳 it's the steam, alright Janis: 😂 Janis: If I was a nicer friend I'd be made up for yous Janis: obviously I've learnt from the best and I'll covertly hit that behind your back, sabotaging you every step of the way Jimmy: We mates now? 🎉🎊🕺 Janis: the best 💕 Janis: thought 💔 you ain't 💔 about the friendzoning, obvs Jimmy: I'm made up for us Janis: 😏 good Jimmy: you'll be well about having a gay BFF Janis: ikr Janis: as if they didn't have enough reasons to be jealous of me Janis: ultimate accessory Jimmy: I am gonna ask him to move in though so if you could piss off before the end of our shift Jimmy: Tah, babes Janis: how could you Janis: genuinely did not see this coming Jimmy: when you know you know, girl 💕 Jimmy: soz you didn't Janis: I know lots of things Janis: like his name and passion so tah, dickhead 🏆💘 Jimmy: @petechambers is what you need to know Janis: why you being so helpful Jimmy: he reckons you're my girlfriend, how far do you reckon you're gonna get Janis: reckons you're my boyfriend, by that logic Janis: looks like we're both fucked Jimmy: I don't fuck in the workplace, I told you Jimmy: only customers 👴👵💕 Janis: fucking hell don't say that Janis: not just their spidey senses tingling, eurgh Jimmy: 💀👑 and her #squad ain't here yet Jimmy: can say what I like Janis: 'course not, it's before noon Janis: and as long as your manager don't hear you, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 he won't hear me 😴 in the back either Janis: you must be dead Janis: all the freebie espresso shots today Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: should've let you call in for me Janis: dangerously close to admitting I had a good idea Jimmy: only the one Janis: one more than you had you poor 😴 fool Jimmy: You sleep alright? The 🐕 was being a right little twat when I had to go Janis: like I'd been drugged Janis: not accusing you Janis: just don't usually sleep that deep Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the barman was a bit Jimmy: could accuse him Janis: who am I to turn my nose up at free drugs Jimmy: 👮🚔 undercover me, remember Jimmy: might wanna hit delete on that Janis: listen, you've definitely crossed some boundaries yourself, idc how deep your cover is Janis: you keep it 🤐 and so will I Jimmy: Oh it's really deep like my 💕 baby Janis: 😂 Janis: yep, you're definitely 45 Jimmy: were warned Janis: didn't say I didn't like it 😍 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: #whenshelikestherealyou Janis: just can't help but be goals, me and you Jimmy: tough job but I've already got a piss easy one Jimmy: I'd be bored to 😭😭😭 or 💀💀💀 Janis: so welcome, babe 💕 Janis: shame you can't be bored to 💤💤💤 rn though Jimmy: earnt myself a burn for cheeking everyone's manager 🙏 @god soz, like Janis: 🌩 Janis: he'll get ya Jimmy: bit late for the warning, Jenna but tah Janis: got off pretty light Janis: it could've been genocide, he's a big fan Jimmy: tell it to all the fans who want pics of me touching you up Jimmy: ain't gonna be goals for a bit, that Janis: bad enough you can 🏥 Jimmy: still got skin ✔ Jimmy: makes it a no go Janis: 😔 baby Jimmy: will to live ✖ Jimmy: least I've got you 💕 Janis: you poor, poor boy Janis: and your fave customers ain't there either, what's the rest of the crowd looking like? Jimmy: 👪 and 👫 Jimmy: be why I'm in such a romantic mood Janis: so inspiring, yeah Jimmy: nowt as inspiring as you obvs Janis: how many paracetamol did you pop Janis: very peace and love rn, you Jimmy: might be talking in my 💤 Janis: in that case Janis: let me hold you to everything you say Janis: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: did you/any of yous get a chance to walk this dog Janis: it's being batshit Jimmy: I let it out but unless Cass is up and about now Janis: If she is she's being as quiet as I am Janis: no worries, I'll take it for a run Jimmy: hang on, I'll text her Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, boot the door in for us Janis: you what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: 👮🚔 tactics, mate Janis: not gonna marry your da, remember Janis: no stepmum here Jimmy: well he chucks her 💰 for walking that 🐕 you're gonna at least wanna take that off her Janis: I guess I could let the dog in her room Janis: just blame you or the kid Jimmy: I did it earlier, dunno how it got back out Janis: clever girl Jimmy: 👻🐕 Janis: awh Janis: if I could draw for shit I would Jimmy: Have a go Jimmy: there's loads of shit in my room Janis: feeling #inspirational as well as #inspired, mate? Jimmy: you feeling 🥇 or 🙀? Janis: how do you know I ain't got plans Jimmy: Come on, I'll do it too, let 👻🐕 decide which is better Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: Crack on then, loser Janis: fuck off Janis: I never claimed I was good at art, 🎨 hoe Jimmy: Getting the excuses in already Jimmy: should've just backed out from the challenge, babe Janis: you should get to work Janis: doodling or your actual, like Jimmy: I'm doing both Janis: get you Jimmy: 🏆🥇👑 Janis: ⭐⭐⭐ for your name badge Jimmy: It says Jamie right now so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't suit you Jimmy: only been working here ages Jimmy: don't put yourselves out Janis: your names not actually James then? Janis: least they're in the ballpark Jimmy: Bollocks would it be, Ian'd reckon that too la-de-da Janis: fair, can't imagine that either Jimmy: and anyway we're all y or ie except him 'cause ❄ can't get ideas above ourselves Janis: don't stop every cunt I know giving their kids genuinely mental names though so Jimmy: I've wrote some mad ones on ☕ Janis: ooh #whenhescreativetho Jimmy: his new missus better fall in like my mum did Jimmy: fucked yourself you Janis: I mean, I'd change it but what to Ian, you've got the vision, like Jimmy: @ him Janis: from his house, that'd be hilariously psycho stalker Jimmy: he'd be 😍😍 so don't actually Janis: alright, in your bed not his Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: Get up dickhead there's 🎨 to make Janis: 🙄 alright, on it Janis: ruin the fantasy with your details, why don't you Jimmy: ruin your lie in with my jealousy of it, tah Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: are you concentrating that hard? Jimmy: you need to if you wanna beat me Jimmy: doing you that favour Janis: so kind 🖕 Janis: so considerate 😒 Jimmy: I know 💕 Janis: [hit him with a cartoon of ghost Twix doing a phantom shit in Ian's shoes] Jimmy: [one of those recorded texts things of him loling] Janis: is that a lol of approval? Jimmy: 'course Janis: good, 'cos I tried Jimmy: yours is better than mine Jimmy: glad I ain't the judge Janis: rub it in pedigree, like Janis: she likes you better, maybe a walk would swing it Jimmy: she don't like that I only let her out in the garden for a bit Jimmy: so if you're gonna cheat Jimmy: would be 🥇 cheating Janis: from the professional himself 💕 Janis: leave a note, so your sister don't reckon it's been dognapped Jimmy: 🖕 and 👌 Janis: love you too Jimmy: [sends her his picture of ghost him walking ghost twix and Janis in a ghostbusters outfit getting him with the vacuum thing cos Twix is her true love but someone's spilt coffee on it rudely] Janis: fuck off Janis: that's actually sick Janis: can't even be that mad Jimmy: you ain't judging it either and ☕ ain't a treat she's 😍 for Janis: take the compliment, boy Jimmy: I'm too tired Janis: doesn't anyone at your work have a decent coke habit Janis: inconsiderate, that Jimmy: what kind of rock and roll god are you, Pete? fuck's sake Jimmy: 😱💔 Janis: if he's straight-edge Janis: have him Janis: won't be lectured by some 🤓 however cute Jimmy: from his feed I'd say 60/40 that he is Jimmy: gutted pisshead Janis: actually devastated Janis: please give me time to grieve Jimmy: me an' all, gonna have to rely on you and only you to get me through this shift Janis: I haven't got any on me either, you know Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: he does 🚬 though actually, I've seen him Janis: 😻😻😻 Janis: oh thank god Janis: not ready to let that dream die tbh Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: you don't understand Jimmy: Have you even looked at his profile? 60/40 that bird's his girlfriend an' all Janis: idk what that's gotta do with me Jimmy: she's got better tits than you Jimmy: I don't reckon you'd win if you challenged her Janis: well I know I would but tah Jimmy: You ain't his type Janis: omg you don't know that Jimmy: try some heavy eye make up and a band t-shirt Jimmy: might 👀 at you then Janis: can't argue with good looking Janis: whatever you think you're into Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's with the negging Jimmy: What you want me to big you up? Got that covered ain't you Janis: nah Janis: but shouldn't affect you that I know my worth, should it Jimmy: it don't Jimmy: nowt you do affects me Janis: then stop chatting shit like that to me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: no or what about it I won't fucking talk to you Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't got time for you, my best customers are here Janis: lol really Jimmy: [a pic of them gals, chin chin] Janis: 🤢 Janis: if I never saw that face again, it'd be too soon Jimmy: [resends it with faces scribbled out] Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Janis: time for a stock check, probs Jimmy: time to post something about you more like Jimmy: [does about how much he misses her and how hard it was to leave her there asleep this AM etc] Janis: you trying to kill 'em? Janis: 'cos good job, honestly Janis: they'll at least have heart palpatations at that Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: could do better but this ain't a topless kinda place Janis: we're all 💔 about that Janis: should've taken some creeper shots whilst you were sleeping, my bad Jimmy: such an amateur you Janis: had other things on my mind, happens Janis: my reply will be extra slushy, how's that Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: obvs but yay or nay dickhead Jimmy: where are you? Janis: park opposite yours Janis: why Jimmy: do you look like you belong in a park opposite mine? Janis: fuck you, I'm clean Jimmy: I'm saying make yourself look like you just got out of my bed and get over here Janis: alright then Janis: but that counts as one of my debts paid, definitely Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: er yeah it does Jimmy: How is this a favour to me? Jimmy: They're chatting shit about you Janis: when ain't they Janis: I don't ever need to be in the same room as my sister, tah Jimmy: Stay at the park then Janis: make up your mind Janis: I said I'll do it Jimmy: Not doing this for my health Jimmy: they ain't wrong in thinking I look like shit and if you were any kind of nurse you wouldn't have let me go nowhere Janis: marry 'em then Jimmy: I don't wanna marry you why would I wanna marry them? Jimmy: Also how? In what sequence 'cause can only be one at a time Janis: 'cos clearly you trust in their ability to look after you based on this snippet of overheard convo, idiot Janis: none of them have had a boyfriend longer than 3 weeks, no time to get a fucking cold, nevermind get over it Janis: don't count, they're a hivemind Janis: cut off Mia's head, they all die Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how can they possibly have anything to talk about Janis: not seen any of them in days Jimmy: You've been online, nowt else they need Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll throw a drink over Mia she'll melt, game over Jimmy: if she ever orders owt Janis: some sweet as Janis: that hot sweet vom will coat her mouth on the way out, enjoy that for hours Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: you'll make me vom Janis: such a baby Jimmy: Piss off Janis: you ain't cleaned up worse in the CG bathroom, no Jimmy: don't mean I loved every minute of it Jimmy: or that I wanna relive it right now with you Janis: k, just tryna kill the mood, baby Janis: calm you down Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: lighten up, me they're chatting shit about Jimmy: and it weren't me who invited her here Jimmy: stop being a knobhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: shut up Janis: what's actually wrong with you Jimmy: I don't wanna talk to you if you're gonna take the piss Jimmy: nowt wrong with that Janis: when did I Jimmy: This job is crap and I don't wanna do it but I ain't got rich parents Jimmy: so yeah, I have to clean up after dickheads all day Jimmy: and they get to say whatever they want to me while I'm doing it Janis: it's you who's assumed my parents are minted, you ain't once asked me about 'em and I ain't told you Janis: how far do you reckon 2 paychecks goes for 12 people, but nah, whatever, they got more than some Janis: but not so much that I'll never have to work a day in my life so don't come for me like I think I'm too good to clean a toilet or some shit Jimmy: Don't get at me when it's them you wanna Jimmy: we're supposed to be in this together Janis: I weren't getting at you Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Alright Janis: it clearly ain't but I weren't so I'm not apologizing for some shit you only think I said Jimmy: and I'm not starting something with you 'cause they're annoying Jimmy: So alright Janis: Fine Janis: that we can agree on so we'll just leave it yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: the 🐕 with you? Janis: yeah Janis: taking her back Jimmy: do me a favour and leave her there Janis: weren't planning on bringing her if I do come through Jimmy: I mean at the park to get actually dognapped Janis: well don't take it on on the dog either Jimmy: I didn't like her long before 💀👑 were on my radar Janis: ain't her fault Jimmy: is Janis: she's only a puppy Jimmy: cute enough to get snatched then Janis: i'm not getting rid of your dog for you Janis: do it properly if you're going to Jimmy: just trying to get rid of that IOU for you Janis: sure Jimmy: You're really scared to owe me one, you Janis: scared and not wanting to are not the same thing Jimmy: that'll be why I said what I said Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off, what's there to be scared of Jimmy: You tell me Jimmy: What do you reckon I'm gonna do? Janis: shut up Jimmy: Easy, I'm faking I lost my voice either 'cause I'm 🤢 dying or 💀💀💀 from how well you nursed me Jimmy: theirs to keep guessing about Janis: ours to prove easy enough Janis: if we wanna Jimmy: Do you? Janis: I mean Janis: obviously I don't care but also Janis: why should they just get to go around being cunts all the time Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I also get that you badly miss Mr Lucas, babe but I ain't drank enough coffee for you to pretend I'm him 💔 Janis: 🤢 okay but don't Jimmy: I could take a few more shots before you get here but I might Jimmy: don't actually like it Janis: it's rank Janis: fuck the rest, being around the smell all day would be shit enough Jimmy: hang on, I'm gonna wipe off the chalk board outside and write that Janis: 😂 Jimmy: so inspiring baby 💕 Janis: if we could thin the crowd at all be ideal Janis: don't need the 👪👫s seeing this Jimmy: some of them did leg it pretty quick when Mia walked in Jimmy: not gonna want your kids or your fella seeing that Janis: honestly, meant to learn about death through a hamster, not your local 💀👑 Jimmy: well early in the day to try and teach them to spell anorexia Janis: thank god for spellcheck, eh babe? Jimmy: didn't have it when I communicated with her via napkin note but I think I managed Jimmy: will do if I don't think about what she'll do with it after Janis: basically sold your soul to the devil Janis: couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to get there Jimmy: already 👻 nowt she can do to me Jimmy: only come to life for you Janis: can't decide if 💕 or 🤤 that Jimmy: why not both? Janis: 😍 #whenhesthefullpackage Jimmy: give me everything you've got then Janis: you've changed your tune Jimmy: I've not Jimmy: been saying 🥇 or nowt since the start Janis: last night Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Janis: both had a few by then, not to mention knackered Jimmy: Go on Janis: well you said don't give you anything Jimmy: it ain't for me, it's for them Janis: yeah, I know Jimmy: So no need to hold back Janis: wouldn't be much point coming otherwise Jimmy: I've gotta be fake mute, you've gotta be fake loud Janis: really Jimmy: We can't both be 🔇 Janis: Jesus Janis: why are you being mute again anyway Jimmy: I lost my voice 'cause you're the best at bringing someone back from the brink of 💀💀💀 Janis: 'course I am Janis: well don't put me off, I have a plan Jimmy: I just had to let you know loudly and repeatedly even if it cost me this #goals accent Janis: sounds about right 😏 Jimmy: Obviously, I thought of it Janis: I mean, it's believeable for you but alright Jimmy: A boy can dream 💕 Janis: dream no longer Janis: [post up hoe] Jimmy: [get ready lads and I don't just mean you gals] Janis: [least she'd always have her gym shit on her so can still have that moment] Jimmy: [yeah that's forever legit, and thank god he looks good in his uniform too or that'd be awkward like she's bringing it and he's blah] Janis: [when you're gonna have to just go for this lads] Jimmy: [he's gonna get a bollocking from his manager regardless we all know it, him most of all so nothing to lose] Janis: [when you come at him like 'I just missed you so much' loud/close enough that it's heard but you're already wrapping yourself around him] Jimmy: [when you have to be fake mute so it's all 😍 but it does mean you can just pull her even closer to you how he likes to do and go IN on kissing any part of her that'll get the best reaction, from her and the audience] Janis: [letting that happen for way longer than you need to before redirecting his mouth to yours so you can be loud without it being really indecent] Jimmy: [I feel like as much as they think they can read each other from all the make out seshs they've had he should've done something in that bit then that surprised him with how much she liked it even if they are pretending it's fake and he told her to be extra] Janis: [agreed like as much as it's all real it would be like the shock when they first kissed and she weren't bored so 100%] Jimmy: [just gonna put her on the counter for that mood and moment soz customers but like we're putting on a show here, not getting in trouble without making it worth it] Janis: [when you say his name and it's half 'cos you wanna half like are you sure] Jimmy: [when as much as you're pretending you've forgotten where you are you also have because so much pent up everything] Janis: ['come home with me' do you mean it or no we'll never know] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Mia's head exploding so get her down but onto the staff side with you so you can keep this going as you make your way towards the back like you're gonna continue this there/leave that way] Janis: [heheheheh] Jimmy: [obvs gonna keep kissing out there for a sec 'for realism' and in case anyone follows you like um what the fuck Jimmy are you leaving or wut not cos you wanna and you couldn't be closer and you haven't stopped since you started even when you were also moving, oh no never for that reason] Janis: [literal like in no world did they need this entire display also how you gonna stop, least his manager can come through to make that happen] Jimmy: [just like ahem #awkward because you know they wouldn't have stopped when he first appeared cos too into it so it's like EXCUSE YOU] Janis: [how shaming if either of you could care] Jimmy: [HOORAY for not feeling shame because yeah Jimothy you're gonna have to sit with him now and get told off looking that poor manager in the eye] Janis: [honestly you'd wanna die if you weren't so highkey distracted] Jimmy: [wait until Ian hears about this, he'll want you to die too] Janis: [nooooooooo] Jimmy: [no wonder he don't like Janis, no offense babe we know his actual reasons ain't that but] Janis: [she does get him fired we all know] Jimmy: [thank god he gets another job cos can you imagine if he couldn't they were all like no thanks you saucy bastard] Janis: [whoops, have to leave forreal] Jimmy: [how the hell are we gonna kick off a 'normal' convo between them after that MY GOD] Janis: how much trouble you in Jimmy: Not enough that I care Janis: good, not looking to + my IOUs that hard Janis: worked though, yeah Jimmy: How many stories has Mia posted? Janis: [screenshot of the longest line of stories ever but she's only on the first one 'cos not watching] Janis: more detailed than 24 hour news Jimmy: I get that I ain't the focus on her obsession, but get my angles, fuck's sake Janis: 💔 Janis: be more blatant, girl Jimmy: This plays like the Love Actually wedding video Janis: 😂 Janis: Keira should've told her husband to sort his friend, honestly Jimmy: I'm waiting for my full crop and her floating bobble head where mine were Janis: literally gonna haunt my nightmares, thanks Jimmy: Soz, I ain't seen her commit that edit yet if that helps Jimmy: we all know you can afford the software girl, sort it out Janis: no time if she wants to break the story Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it wouldn't take long if she knew what she was doing Jimmy: could've asked me Janis: we all know now she's not arsed about you Janis: sorry, dear Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: brb jumping off the roof Janis: could you wait a bit Janis: so it doesn't look like an immediate reaction to me Jimmy: gimme something better to do then Janis: well, I was sure you'd be sent home Janis: dunno how you managed that, jammy git Jimmy: #effortless Janis: must be Jimmy: 😎 Janis: sure you've got loads of invites in your DMs then, boy Jimmy: Yeah but Janis: but what Jimmy: I don't fancy it, do I Janis: still up to me and me alone then, is it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: see what I can do Jimmy: a full day's work won't 💀💀💀 you, rich girl Jimmy: promise Janis: my sister might beat you to it anyway Jimmy: she can try 🏆💪 we've got a pact and I called it ages ago Janis: can argue that one with her, if you like Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have lost my voice going for it with Ian, not fazed by hers Janis: it's pretty grating tbh but you know Janis: nothing worse than the way she types Jimmy: Oi, there's nowt as annoying or loud as me Janis: don't need to lie to make you feel good about yourself Jimmy: Good Jimmy: a lie wouldn't Janis: and you're a cocky little shit without my help so Jimmy: with your help an' all though Janis: works for me Jimmy: I know Janis: what does that even mean 😏 Jimmy: What do you reckon it means? Jimmy: It means I know Janis: that definitely means you're chatting shit then Jimmy: If saying that I am works for you, babe Janis: 😑 taking the piss now Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: do what you've gotta do Janis: so fucking cryptic Jimmy: 🧩 me Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: OMG, smoking is NOT a personality trait Jimmy: I'm keeping you updated Jimmy: like a good boyfriend Jimmy: my whereabouts, what I'm up to etc Janis: subtle hint Janis: Mia teach you before she went? Jimmy: I weren't in the room as she 👀 it, remember Janis: on another 🪐 Jimmy: where you and her 😍💕💋💋 Janis: not funny, you Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: You gonna give me your update like a good girlfriend then or what? Janis: actually going gym Janis: as I've got the gear on, makes sense Jimmy: 💪🏆 gotta keep it goals babe Jimmy: one day I'll have to show you how it's really done, like Janis: 😂 Janis: ok, that was funny Janis: you've redeemed yourself, welldone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you're scared I'll make you look a right tit Janis: mhmm Janis: scared I'll be overcome by how manly you are and all Jimmy: no need to be at the gym for that, mate Janis: just how you live your life Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you dope Jimmy: taking that as a compliment 😎 Jimmy: as only a 45 year old bloke can Janis: oh yeah, how's your 💘 after that Jimmy: I ain't about to have a heart attack, you're alright Jimmy: one lung but there ain't nowt wrong with the rest of my organs Janis: good to know Janis: though my case to sue you is definitely more viable anyway Jimmy: 💰💰 talks and you've got more of it to chat bollocks about me with Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: You loved it, I've got enough witnesses Janis: very unreliable Janis: they all hate me Jimmy: I will an' all if you drag me to court Jimmy: ain't got a suit or owt and I ain't buying one for you unless we 💍 Janis: fake marriage is too far, we agreed Janis: though would LOVE to ask them all to be my bridesmaids so I could dress them in the ugliest shit and watch the meltdowns ensue Jimmy: Go on, all marriages are fake any road Janis: just string out the engagment and planning then blow that shit up on the day Janis: s'a proper finale Jimmy: knew you'd get it 💕 Janis: suck on that pregnant amie Janis: steal your ✨ Jimmy: if she'd left it at that she might not be 🤰 Janis: don't make me laugh Jimmy: why? not enough cardio for you or? Janis: 'cos I'll look mental and not the new image I'm going for, tah Jimmy: Fine, I'll make you 😳 Janis: you can try Jimmy: [sends her a pic of all those epic love bites she did cos they'd look WILD the next day like] Janis: they look pretty Janis: very artsy Jimmy: proper Georgia O’Keeffe you Janis: 😒 I know she was the vag obsessed one, twat Jimmy: 'Course you do Janis: shut up Janis: not a moron Janis: or a lesbian Jimmy: Don't need to tell me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: Baby Janis: such a windup, you Janis: gotta have finished your 🚬 by now Jimmy: ain't that 👴 Jimmy: giving it my best go with my oxygen on Janis: cute Jimmy: So you want 75 not 45? Alright Janis: your type, not mine Janis: a fucked 45 is fine Jimmy: OUR type, babe, and I'm gonna find him Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💕 Janis: stop being a goals fella and go do your job whilst you still got it Jimmy: that is my job Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: making me miss you and that Janis: if you don't you'll make me look bad Jimmy: couldn't obvs Janis: yeah her 😍 know no bounds, fair Jimmy: Oi, mine an' all Janis: awh, you jealous Jimmy: Of her? Jimmy: Yeah she's well close to 💀💀💀 and all I can do is wait Jimmy: 🚬💔🎻☕ Jimmy: #friendzonedbythegrimreaper Janis: always the bridesmaid, her Janis: you know you're 🥈 to my 🥇, baby Jimmy: you on the 🥊? Jimmy: that backhander really hit 😵😵😵 Janis: [selfie like pow pow] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [flirty posts and shit to keep it 'safe' haha] Janis: [as if anyone is doubting you rn, they seen enough lmao] Janis: you go this hard with your actual missus, like Jimmy: You've got her attention, be easy enough to go on and ask Janis: seriously Jimmy: What you reckon all that carry on at the CG dont matter to anyone but 👑💀? Janis: well idk do I Janis: why would I Jimmy: Talk of this town and the north Janis: at least any beatdowns will only be 📱 Janis: unless she likes you that much still she'll get on a plane or ferry, like Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: what outcome are you crossing your fingers for there Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: jussayin Janis: not fake fighting for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not agreed to that level of soap drama Jimmy: where you draw the line that? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I mean Janis: not pregnant rn is she? Janis: fair game Jimmy: I should've opened with asking Jimmy: bit late now Janis: yeah, gonna look weird now Janis: subtlety is not your strong suit Jimmy: It's alright, it ain't hers either Janis: 👍 Jimmy: But I reckon if her hubby had it in him to put it in her since the last 🤰 she wouldn't be in my DMs Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: never know Janis: pregnancy makes you mental Jimmy: Yeah Janis: later then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [later] Janis: did kayleigh f invite you to her party too Jimmy: I dunno, did she? Janis: not your secretary Janis: check your dms Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: I ain't seeing her, have to crash 👮🚔 Janis: why am I so popular, damn Jimmy: gay icon Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: you actually want to go or Jimmy: Do you? Janis: idk Janis: ain't got nothing else on Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: hmm Janis: not sure what her identifier is, but she's alright, does sports science and shit too Jimmy: The party'll be alright an' all then Janis: doubt the squad'll be there so improvement on the last Jimmy: works for me Janis: if you're allowed, like Janis: ⛔ Jimmy: She gonna stop me at the door? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: nah Janis: guestlist can't be that exclusive if an invite found me Janis: not like we're bffs is it Jimmy: I'll go over the fence to be safe, leave a window open for me or whatever Janis: such a show-off Jimmy: You love a show, Juliet Janis: hm Janis: keep your feet on the ground, yeah Jimmy: Bit late for that 👻 Janis: 👏 alright, got me there Jimmy: right where I want you, babe 🎯💘 Janis: yeah, and where's that? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: gotta get those hourly updates Janis: could be ANYWHERE Jimmy: could be lost Jimmy: Where's this lass live? Janis: good question Janis: oh, like 10 minute walk from yours Janis: [the deets] Janis: easy Jimmy: might get there before my 👮🚔 co-workers then Janis: well i'll be ages Janis: and not 'cos i wanna be fashionably late Janis: so see you there Jimmy: I get it, looking proper #goals takes you longer than it does me 😎 Janis: 🙄 Janis: more like my gaff is in the middle of fucking nowhere and I ain't there rn but I can't go like this Jimmy: Where are you? Gotta be near 🛍 Jimmy: do your thing, rich girl Janis: who am I Jimmy: No idea, who are you? Janis: not a bitch who's gonna get new clothes for a party Jimmy: Alright, you can wear mine, stop begging Janis: however could I pull off such a 😎 look Janis: I daren't Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: never up for a challenge or owt Janis: what's challenging about your style Janis: been same since 1956 Jimmy: You pulling it off, so you said Jimmy: 🤷 if you can't, you can't Jimmy: see you when I see you Janis: and you lost your ability to detect sarcasm, alright Jimmy: might never have had it, how would you know? Janis: giving you benefit of the doubt that you ain't a total idiot but alright Janis: maybe not Jimmy: giving me what's dangerously close to a real compliment an' all there Jimmy: thank fuck you took it back before things got weird Janis: don't sound like me Jimmy: might not be Jimmy: can't 👀 or 👂 you Janis: yeah it's your biggest fan surprise Jimmy: that dickhead Jill is my biggest fan Jimmy: why I'm fake dating her Janis: get lost Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: Probably will in a bit Jimmy: dry your eyes til then Janis: have you got a problem, like Janis: your sense of direction is for shit Jimmy: It's how they keep northerners in the north, mate Jimmy: ain't even allowed to leave in a ⚰ Jimmy: but 🤞 they bury you right way up Janis: you mean you don't want god to kiss your ass? Janis: seems like something you'd be about Jimmy: He ain't really my type Jimmy: 👴 maybe but a bit of a knobhead Jimmy: and there's the not being real Jimmy: got a fake girlfriend already tah Janis: one to talk 👻 boy Janis: that's just a third of his personality and it's your whole schtick Janis: jealous, clearly Jimmy: You reckon I'm jealous of everyone I ain't Jimmy: getting a bit awkward now Janis: is it Janis: sensitive and all Janis: n'awh Jimmy: I get it, you're that in the dark Jimmy: hang on, I'll put my 📸 on Jimmy: sort you out Janis: about what Jimmy: It's no bother, dark corners can be very #goals Jimmy: just don't 🙀🙀🙀 Jimmy: know what you're like, Jasmine Janis: cats ain't afraid of the dark, boy Jimmy: You don't play by the rules, girl Jimmy: or do you now? Janis: how much do you think has changed in one afternoon? Jimmy: Been a bit since I last had an #update from you Jimmy: could be owt or nowt Janis: ain't the only one capable of mystery, like Jimmy: Good Jimmy: this party'll be shit if I am Janis: what do you reckon you can get away with when you're my plus 1 Jimmy: my name ain't down but I'm still coming in Jimmy: do owt else I want once I manage that Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you know what I'm saying Jimmy: Make up your mind, am I stupid or what? Janis: you're being it if you reckon you can get with someone when I'm at the same party Jimmy: I never said that's what I reckoned Jimmy: I get that you're new to it, but there's more than one way to be mysterious Janis: everything is always about sex, end of Jimmy: For you paddys maybe Janis: pretty sure it's universal but alright Janis: whatever Jimmy: Are you? Janis: am I..? Jimmy: Are you so sure I wanna fuck some girl at this party even though I've been doing all this bollocks to stay single Jimmy: well done Jimmy: You've cracked it, like Janis: 1. single doesn't mean abstinent Janis: 2. why do you say stupid shit that sounds a certain way then get pissed when I take you at said dumb fucking thing you said Janis: 3. i don't care who you do or don't fuck but if that's what you wanna do, probably don't have me there for it Jimmy: I'd ask why you take everything the wrong way but that's obviously what you wanna do Janis: just say you're talking bollocks if that's what you're doing Janis: but also take it somewhere else 'cos I don't need it Jimmy: It ain't but go on and piss off yourself if you like Janis: First good idea you've had Jimmy: Take it then Janis: do what I like, thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: and I got invited so how about you don't come Jimmy: You said it yourself, no way you're getting there 1st Janis: fuck you Janis: you don't even know her Jimmy: I don't know anyone Jimmy: race you 😘 Janis: poor you Jimmy: Lucky me Jimmy: Poor you Janis: don't need your sympathy fake or otherwise Jimmy: Fake or not, you ain't having it Janis: 💔 Janis: oh no Jimmy: Ill play the 🎻s when I'm on the clock if it's alright with you Janis: I don't care what you do as long as it's not at this party Jimmy: 💔💔😭 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: You finished? Janis: with this convo Janis: why not Janis: with you in general Janis: sadly no Jimmy: Tah for the detailed update Janis: what you asked for Jimmy: 💕 Janis: hope you find your way back home at some point Jimmy: can't stay pissed off at me you Janis: if you leave, sure Janis: your standards are that low Jimmy: Don't worry, staying aint part of my plan Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we should skip to this party which he obviously gets to first, damn you Cali and your postcode] Janis: [this is such a bad idea like always] Jimmy: [living for it] Janis: [just showing up and avoiding your boyf like hmm okay lmao] Jimmy: [at least he's avoiding everyone anyway cos antisocial bastard so makes it less obvious that he's even there] Janis: [at some point y'all are both gonna end up at the drinks so] Jimmy: [we know that is where he's forever at getting drunk (great idea boy) unless he's outside 🚬 so easy done] Janis: [i die just like sup] Jimmy: [so will he when he sees her serving a look] Janis: [at least you can 'pretend' you've had a domestic, be that couple for the night but still, probably acknowledge each other's existence 'found your way then'] Jimmy: [believable that you could have cos nobody else needs to know he don't give a fuck about his manager or getting in trouble and everyone would be talking about earlier still. He shrugs because always. 'without your help or owt, almost like I dont need you'] Janis: ['well let me know when it stops being almost and I can get on with my shit, yeah? taking a can/bottle/whatever and walking away like good talk] Jimmy: [5ever watching her walk away] Janis: [why are you two here, being such delights lollollol] Jimmy: [Im gonna say he is playing drinking games because peeps have been trying to get him too since he got there cos of that new boy shine honey and theyve worn him down cos hard to resist a challenge or a drink] Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: even when you lose, it's a win Jimmy: 🥇 or 🤢 Janis: not if you can handle your drink Jimmy: they can't, soz to piss on your expectations Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🍀💔 Janis: tunes can't get much more morbid Jimmy: change them then Janis: won't change the crowd but yeah maybe Jimmy: You've handled worse Janis: don't be so hard on yourself Jimmy: Why would I, got you for that Janis: come on Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: never off the clock on that one, you Janis: ain't personal Janis: don't get to feeling special for it, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: anyway, you give it back so don't act like you're 😢 Jimmy: I ain't acting tonight, tah though Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: try not to need a 🚬 for the next 5 k Janis: [goes out, obvs] Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good, don't need your death on my conscience Jimmy: I know 😇 you Jimmy: be alright Janis: not likely Jimmy: What do you want me to say to that? Janis: say what you want, you ain't acting Jimmy: fucked if I wanna say nowt Jimmy: already done mute to 💀💀💀 today Jimmy: and I gotta stay alive for a bit Janis: so that's my fault, yeah Jimmy: Nah Janis: it's not my fault people won't get off your dick because you're the new boy Jimmy: never said it were Janis: you treat me like it is Jimmy: and you treat me like what? Janis: how am I meant to treat you Jimmy: how am I meant to treat you Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: you're this weird kid who just asked me to do this crazy scheme with him and I'm the idiot who said yes, I guess Janis: but I don't think you knew what you were asking any more than I knew what I was going along with Jimmy: Stop it then Janis: why should it be me Janis: and why is that all you have to say Jimmy: Why shouldn't it be you, that were the plan Jimmy: and why would I say owt else when that's where this is going Janis: a plan you changed Janis: and acting like you have no stakes in whether it ends now or not makes it make even less sense Jimmy: Change it back Jimmy: not acting, remember Janis: then tell the fucking truth Jimmy: I fucking did Janis: what's the point Janis: alright Jimmy: There ain't any, that's what we're both saying Janis: least not one we're happy to admit to Jimmy: You're so Janis: we're gonna go for this again Janis: didn't work last time but go on Jimmy: Piss off Janis: why can't you say it Jimmy: this is fucking stupid Janis: yeah no shit Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: why did you come Jimmy: Why did you? Janis: to see if you would Janis: probably get drunk Jimmy: There you go then Janis: no you can't steal my answer Janis: then you'll just say you never actually said it and it's just bullshit to hide behind Jimmy: I'm here, that's my answer Jimmy: it weren't cause I desperately wanted shots to do to a shit soundtrack Janis: okay Janis: then go Jimmy: is it? Janis: if that's the only reason you're here Jimmy: I came here for you, you twat Jimmy: but alright, I'll go for you then Janis: don't just Janis: why is it like pulling teeth Jimmy: fuck you Janis: why Jimmy: I didn't sign on for this Jimmy: I can't just Janis: you think I did Jimmy: no Janis: you are literally the only other person who can get it and also the one fucking person who won't talk about it Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Jimmy: that this is Jimmy: or that I Janis: that it's not just Janis: fuck Jimmy: You know it's not Jimmy: every dickhead knows it's not Janis: I can't be Janis: I don't wanna be what we've pretended Janis: I ain't but Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: you know Jimmy: I wanna know Jimmy: come here Janis: where are you Jimmy: on the stairs Janis: [comes in Jimmy: [the eye contact bitch] Janis: [when that's all you're doing 'cos you suddenly can't move like] Jimmy: [deer in the headlights moment but dont worry babe hes gonna move and pull you SO close to him that you will die] Janis: [least that would kickstart you into being very clear with what you want] Jimmy: [likewise cos once you do start it's just like a not at all casual free for all of everything you both want] Janis: [heaven help anyone tryna use them stairs like excuse me] Jimmy: [you better find another way peeps because they cannot be tamed rn] Janis: [breaking away to be like 'we can just try it, right?'] Jimmy: [just nodding because if he speaks hes gonna say too much and none of us are ready] Janis: ['no phones, no fans'] Jimmy: [throws his phone to one side dramatically because that bitch] Janis: [when you lol but are also genuinely like 😍 so we back at it] Jimmy: [Its a good thing the squad arent here cos they would know he aint mute LOL so much so you have to stop for a sec and once you do 'when I said I wanted to leave some shit to mystery, this is what I meant. All I meant. For a night, none of the usual bollocks. Just me and you'] Janis: [nods 'I believe you. All the rest just had me in a bad mood. I mean I always am but when-' shakes head 'doesn't matter now'] Jimmy: [moves her hair out of her face after she's shaken her head because #shameless need to always touch it okay and just looking at her like you can tell me cos she can 'go on'] Janis: [bites lip but in an actual nervous way not a saucy one though you know same effect 'I was just fed up with all the things getting in the way of...this, as was, so then when you mentioned your ex- like I don't care if you get back with her but it's why I was so' shrugs like you know] Jimmy: ['I want you to care about me getting back with her more than I'd ever wanna really get back with her' when you just blurt that out nbd quietly but still boy are you drunk enough to be chatting like that, excuse you] Janis: [when you're just looking at him like did I hear that right or am I also that gone and going so red, mumbling 'you know I do'] Jimmy: [nodding in the direction of up the stairs 'let's go up, there's too many dickheads can see us' because its awks and also no fans is meant to be the point] Janis: [yeah probably do find some privacy] Jimmy: [probably the room of this poor girl that didnt even invite him] Janis: like excuse me madam you did not ask for this at least they didn't have a blazing row and ruin your whole ass party] Jimmy: [him shutting the door but then just standing against the back of it like UM cos his turn to freeze, boy this is why you dont speak, going too hard when you do] Janis: [least she's not like we MUST talk now 'cos also the pressing matter of actually being able to make out and not film it or cater to a crowd] Jimmy: [omg just being able to do what you legit wanna] Janis: [a mood, let's hope this girl's room ain't too distracting, have to be going some like] Jimmy: [I vote for a double bed because they deserve that] Janis: [the luxury, get on that boys] Jimmy: [actually having some space in all the ways, imagine] Janis: [not that he's about it or her tbh we know] Jimmy: [but at least you wont fall out if you move guys] Janis: [are we gonna cockblock this before it can go all the way] Jimmy: [probably should cos the way we did their first time before was pretty swag from what I remember, not saying this wouldnt still be but] Janis: [agree though, and easily done like get out me room] Jimmy: [yeah and you can still get pretty far before then we dont need to be that mean] Janis: [things can happen honey] Jimmy: [theyd have to because you cant tell me they wouldnt take the opportunity to touch each other in all the ways you cant upload anywhere or let happen with an audience, shameless as you are, and therefore have had no excuse to do]] Janis: [truly 'cos how bad you would've rather been doing this and she'd be telling him as much] Jimmy: [he would blatantly tell her that too but dying too much so you will have to decode it from the eye contact and other sounds he is giving you instead babe] Janis: [when that's such a mood and I highly doubt how Harry was lol] Jimmy: [ugh god no, he's such a twat] Janis: [defs not thinking about that rn like whomst] Jimmy: [they are gonna be FUMING when they get kicked out of this room cos never enough when youve been waiting and holding back for any length of time] Janis: [literally like opened the floodgates honey this hasn't solved anything but we getting there bless] Jimmy: [you thought you two were frustrated af before hahaha] Janis: [gotta give a reason why they can't just go home together tho, actually] Jimmy: [ooh maybe they do but Ians heard about the CG antics so he kicks off when he hears them come back, lowkey waiting for that fight like] Janis: [that's a good idea also brb wanna die] Jimmy: [at least she can go to Mcvickers when he has to kick her out cos not far Janis: [not that Ian cares, dangerous frankly sir] Jimmy: [honestly she could get murdered you slag] Janis: [giving some time for them to argue but not that much 'cos highkey] Janis: you alright Jimmy: You? Janis: yeah 'course Janis: sorry I got you in shit Jimmy: You've done nowt wrong Janis: probably debatable that Jimmy: alright gimme chance to stop with this bellend and I'll debate it with you Janis: let you focus on that one 🥇 Jimmy: harder work than a latte him Janis: savage Janis: hope you hit him with that burn Janis: oh, forgot about yours Jimmy: I can do better than that me 🥇 Jimmy: oh shit, me an' all Jimmy: ✋ didn't fall off though, must be alright Janis: 🤞 or I've really fucked it with Ian Janis: no one wants a one-handed babysitter, even if he's live-in Jimmy: wouldn't be very goals for a boyfriend either Jimmy: I'd make it work but like a fake hand is going a bit far Janis: pretty macho Janis: pretend you lost it in a 🦈 attack Jimmy: can only be a duel, Juliet, come on Janis: damn, you right Janis: don't have a cousin who's in love with me though Janis: hope I don't, anyway, awkward to find out like this Jimmy: be fun round the Easter table Jimmy: 💔 I don't have any cousins Janis: Poor boy Janis: idk if he was related to that first bitch anyway so there's still hope Jimmy: I'd only be stuck looking after them too, ain't that 💔 or 💰 broke Janis: fair Janis: more trouble than they're worth in all areas Jimmy: got enough on with this dickhead dad Janis: yeah Janis: liked it better when he weren't there, tbh Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 🙏 for us when you're done making sure my hand stays on Janis: add it to the list Janis: hard work but a 😇 gotta do it Jimmy: good 'cause I wanna touch you again Janis: yeah? Jimmy: and 🤖 💕 not what I were necessarily thinking Janis: 😏 Janis: leave the vibrator at home okay Jimmy: hang on, can't turn down extra limbs if I've already lost one Janis: make up your 🧠 Jimmy: Oi, I'm thinking of you here Janis: so the considerate thing weren't an act, interesting Jimmy: shut up Janis: so cute 💕 Jimmy: I just Janis: it's alright, only pissing about Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: promise it is Janis: not an opportunist mugger Jimmy: 👴💕 Jimmy: want me so bad they're willing to do owt now Janis: bit rude to use me as collateral Jimmy: they might not have that long to live, be fair Janis: so that means I've gotta wait Janis: 😒 Jimmy: we've got a pact you ain't dying without me Jimmy: and not til you couldn't 💕 me more Janis: alright Janis: what's one more day Jimmy: only gonna feel like a slow 💀💀💀 Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: mean Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't Janis: I miss you but I actually mean it Jimmy: I Jimmy: where are you? I'll get myself there then Janis: don't get into more trouble or never actually see you again Janis: real starcrossed shit Jimmy: 👻💕 Jimmy: You reckon I've got into enough for you? I don't Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can handle so much more, girl Janis: you can't come here Janis: let me think of something Jimmy: Alright Janis: okay, if I can get us a car, don't ask where it's from, yeah Jimmy: not actually a 👮🚔 babe Janis: good, 'cos my rep really can't handle that Jimmy: the rep I gave you can handle anything I also wanna give you Jimmy: including my dad's 🚗🔑 Janis: yeah? Janis: 'cos I got one for tonight, less likely to miss it than mr 😡 rn Jimmy: Less of a fuck you an' all but you're right Janis: don't need any more interruptions Janis: actual 🚨s included Jimmy: actual crashes too 'cause I'm a shit driver anyway Jimmy: not how I wanna kill you Janis: not how I'm planning on going out either Janis: I'm alright, and we need to be in the middle of nowhere so Janis: come to this address Janis: [mcvickers house soz i'm stealing your car lads] Jimmy: [should we let him go or not though?] Janis: [that's the real questions and I'm fine with it going either way at this point tbh, Ian would probably be being highkey but that could mean forcing him to stay in or kicking him out so you decide] Jimmy: [yeah exactly either is plausible as is her getting caught by Mcvickers so 🤔🤔🤔] Janis: [oh, might be good to burn that bridge for a bit so then she simply has to stay at his 'cos can never be home] Jimmy: [omg true lets do that then] Janis: [triggering everyone with your illegal driving like your sister ain't die] Jimmy: [its the only way Tess would be angry enough to be like get out tbh so real] Janis: [a new boy for you to hate in your old age god bless] Jimmy: [why not its been a while lol] Jimmy: ? Janis: fucking Janis: i'm Janis: you should go Jimmy: tell me you're alright or I'm going nowhere Janis: i am Janis: i mean i'm beyond fucked off but par for the course Jimmy: 👌 Janis: this is so stupid Jimmy: par for the course that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you have no idea 🙄 Janis: the ample opportunity we've had up until we actually need it takes the piss Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: same but Janis: don't mention it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: exactly Janis: sincerity is scary, boy Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: be fucked if you weren't fit, Janet Janis: shut up Jimmy: you wanted insincere, mate Janis: no middleground, no Jimmy: very 🥉 thinking that Janis: go away Janis: don't have time for 2 arguments Jimmy: me either Janis: 🤐 or 😴 Jimmy: Alright Janis: any chance of your dad forgetting what I look like any time soon Jimmy: We were barely in the door Janis: not like he knows my name if you don't so 🤞 Jimmy: Gonna have to change it for him anyway, remember Jimmy: no ie ending no 💍 Janis: just a place to crash again is fine Jimmy: Julie's basically it any road Jimmy: won't miss the odd letter, will you Janis: my actual has 2 letters in common but yeah Janis: whatever works Jimmy: 🌹 whatever you're called, like #obvs Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not necessary tonight so give him time to get over it Janis: just you keep 😍 #obvs Jimmy: soon as I can get back in, I'll let you Janis: where are you gonna go Jimmy: It'll be morning in a bit and then I'll go work Janis: I am sorry Janis: make it up to you Janis: but there's no chance she's turning this car around to pick you up Jimmy: he don't need an excuse to be a prick Jimmy: and Ill survive a shift without my name badge Janis: still, he got one Janis: I left a blanket and shit at the park near yours last time, strapped under the ramp but it's usually gone if I leave it too long so Janis: but Jamie's the best 💔 Jimmy: that's like saying I deserve this, fuck that Jimmy: Jamie might Janis: nah Janis: you know what I meant Janis: and Jamie was into it okay, I'll have a word Jimmy: don't go near him, I don't trust that dickhead 😏 Janis: I'll try but Janis: hard to stay away Jimmy: I'll have a word then Jimmy: he's too 😍😍😍 for you if you ask me Janis: what's it to ya Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just looking out for you, mate Janis: cheers 😏 Jimmy: You coming to the CG before your wanted posters go up then? Janis: once I've been delivered home for my 2nd bollocking Janis: not planning on sticking around Jimmy: I'm opening up for the rest of the hols as my manager's idea of mine Jimmy: tell them to get it over with and you can stick around here Janis: alright Janis: see you after my great escape then 🤞 Janis: you opening alone or you got your bff with Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the lass with the extensions? Yeah Tony ain't thought that through Janis: as if I've had 👀 for anyone but Pete, you fool Jimmy: What kind of rumoured lesbian are you? Jimmy: sort yourself out Janis: don't sound like my type Janis: fake? no thanks Jimmy: I mean, she ain't 💀👑 so I get you don't want the competition over tits Janis: fuck off Jimmy: her hair'll still fall out if you pull it, you can make that similarity with Mia work Janis: 😑 Janis: so unfunny Janis: good thing you're fit Jimmy: and I've got 😎 + 🚬 for my personality traits Janis: don't do it for me but sure Jimmy: that sounds dead fake but alright Janis: how does that sound like anything I've ever faked Janis: check your socials, there's way more 😍💕😘 Jimmy: I'd love to obvs but it ain't tomorrow yet Jimmy: and tonight we said none of that bollocks Janis: right Janis: how are we gonna do the fake shit though Janis: going forward Janis: still business as usual or 💀 Jimmy: Is that your way of saying you wanna fake break up to secretly date me or what? Janis: no Janis: idk Janis: is it gonna be weird Janis: weirder Jimmy: always were weird Janis: well yeah Janis: note that -er Jimmy: I don't see how it'll be owt different to faking shit when I didn't like you Janis: alright Janis: why not Janis: not not working Jimmy: we can just see how it goes Jimmy: play it by 👂 if you can leave me one 🧛 girl Janis: no promises 👻 boy Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you sure you want me coming in Jimmy: You don't wanna? Janis: I wanna see you Janis: you see my point Jimmy: I'll see if I can ban them all Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I mean Janis: gotta win your manager back 'round somehow Janis: order all the lattes you can, gals Jimmy: come and splash your own cash, rich girl Jimmy: won't need them then Janis: you want me to 💩 myself Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: proper kink for me that Janis: save it for the 3rd date Jimmy: you asking me out? Janis: depends Janis: you asking me to shit on you Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: You gonna be 💔 if I don't? Janis: obvs Janis: lifelong ambition Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: owt to please you I said Janis: is it the next day already 💕 Jimmy: If you want Janis: sounds like some good ole fashioned fake shit, is all Janis: but fair, can't hear over the 📢 coming at me rn Jimmy: You know me and habits Janis: honestly Janis: can't let it go eh Jimmy: wouldn't wanna scare you, easy done that Janis: 🖕 Janis: not that dependent on it, funnily enough Jimmy: 👌 Janis: the fans, that's another story of 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: let 'em down gently, babe Jimmy: what kind of bad boy Janis: the fake kind Jimmy: 🤞 the cancer risk is an' all Janis: should be vaping soft lad Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I know that's what you really want from me, babe Jimmy: but you'll have to find a lad who likes you enough to look that much of a twat Janis: then you don't know what I really want from you Jimmy: You gonna change your mind in a bit? Janis: if you're asking if I'll want a 🚬 after, don't be tight Janis: can spare me one Jimmy: Don't be a dickhead, whenever you've asked you've had Janis: and they say romance is dead Janis: not met you Jimmy: Tweet it tomorrow, like Janis: thought we'd started Janis: overachiever Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'owt to please you I said' you kicking us off Jimmy: Nah, it'd be fake if I said I didn't wanna when you know I do Janis: how long is your lunch and when Jimmy: I dunno when but I know it ain't long enough Janis: is that a humblebrag or actual though Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: 😒 Jimmy: What? Janis: not at you Janis: just the rest Janis: gonna go on a long fucking run Janis: nice knowing you if I end up in a different town, start again Jimmy: Alright Janis: got to wait for everyone else to fuck off Janis: ridiculous Jimmy: Swap places with me then Janis: alright Janis: get me a nametag, like Jimmy: Which one do you want on it? Janis: surprise me Janis: I'm method Jimmy: Yeah, love a surprise you Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: what you talking about Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't 😏 at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I don't know but don't be mean Janis: won't come and see you Janis: 💔 that Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's meaner than owt I've said Janis: I know Janis: don't play around, me Jimmy: 😭😭 me Janis: baby Jimmy: How drunk am I? Janis: if anyone asks, we ain't Janis: but probably a fair bit Janis: beer pong champ Jimmy: easy to get 🥇 when you ain't playing, pisshead Janis: dangerously close to a compliment Jimmy: Take it Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: should've just stayed on the stairs Janis: that's what we shoulda done Jimmy: We'd have been interrupted quicker doing what we were if we had Janis: probably Janis: don't reckon any of the party-goers would be as committed to the cockblock though Jimmy: Bit late to test your theory now Jimmy: have to be next time Janis: promise Jimmy: Do you or do I? Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: you Janis: that there's gonna be a next time Janis: proper one, real Jimmy: Come on Janis: say it Janis: wanna hear it Janis: and have it in writing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: have that in writing Janis: what you pussying out for Jimmy: I already said I don't want you in and out on my lunch break Janis: fine Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: ain't forcing you to say nothing Janis: i don't care if you know i want you though, so have it Jimmy: Tonight you don't Janis: what Jimmy: You heard Janis: yeah and that's bollocks Janis: i'm not saying i'm in love with you or any of that fake shit, i'm saying i wanna fuck you Janis: have for ages so Jimmy: and I'm saying don't take the piss out of me 'cause I don't immediately say owt that I ain't been allowed to before now Janis: um i weren't Jimmy: Whatever Janis: i fucking weren't Janis: god forget it Jimmy: like that's easy an' all Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so Janis: whatever it is, I'm sure I know Jimmy: 'Course you do Jimmy: know everything you Janis: yep Janis: that too Jimmy: Biggest fucking head in all of Dublin Janis: tell me it's unwarranted Jimmy: You make me feel like a massive idiot, that's what I'm telling you Janis: not what i set out to do Janis: and don't think you are, for the record but what do you want Jimmy: What do you want? Jimmy: nowt I say or don't is working for you Janis: I don't know, alright Jimmy: Dangerously close to the truth so probably not alright, is it? Janis: like you do Janis: now who's taking the piss Jimmy: Like I don't know what? What I want? Jimmy: that is a pisstake yeah Janis: well how would I know Janis: don't say shit Jimmy: 1. you do know Jimmy: 2. yeah I do Janis: whatever Jimmy: I'm not good with words that don't mean I'm not saying owt to you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: alright let's just Janis: it's been a long weird night Janis: we can leave it Jimmy: So now you want me to shut up? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't say that, dickhead Janis: like I said, not trying to force you to say anything, that's not what I'm about Jimmy: I'm not thick, I know what leave it out means Janis: Jesus Janis: I'm trying to be nice for once Jimmy: Clearly not gonna work, that Janis: 👍 Janis: thanks Jimmy: Save it, better at faking that bit you Janis: fuck you then Jimmy: not unless your 2nd attempt at kicking a car is better than the 1st Janis: ha Janis: don't count on it Jimmy: I obviously can't Jimmy: but I were well aware you can't do owt right the first time so don't worry Janis: at least I get there in the end Janis: you did fuck all, as per Jimmy: Get where? Jimmy: you're nowhere same as I am Janis: not for long Jimmy: Impressive Janis: don't care what you reckon Jimmy: Make up your mind Janis: never have Jimmy: I know, you don't have any idea what you want, you said Janis: don't flatter yourself Janis: that's only about you and you don't feature in the big picture do you Jimmy: Why would I bother? Plenty of other dickheads to flatter me, including you earlier Janis: so? Janis: why do you reckon I'm gonna be embarrassed Jimmy: Why do you care what I reckon even as you're saying you don't? Janis: because it's worth a laugh Janis: it's just sex, plenty of people want you, plenty want me, who cares Jimmy: My entire reason for doing this is that I care about how wants me and doesn't Jimmy: who* Jimmy: and you'd throw me to them if you didn't Jimmy: So stop talking bollocks Janis: it ain't Janis: it's not that simple Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: You either give a shit or you don't Jimmy: and you either want me or you don't Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: and when you have just say it Janis: I said I do want you Janis: I literally said it and you rejected it outta hand Janis: just because I was trying to say how much of a headfuck it is because what's real and what's fake and what parts are both Jimmy: You also said that after you've had a go I can basically fucking vanish 'cause who cares Jimmy: loads of others Janis: I didn't say it like that Janis: or mean it like Janis: it's just weird alright Jimmy: You're weird Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: no kidding Janis: what would you rather, I was like them Jimmy: #obvs Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's the point in pretending Jimmy: Depends Janis: to get dickheads to leave you alone aside #obvs Jimmy: How shit is it gonna be to break the habit? Janis: shit Janis: nothing to say we can't stick at it 'til you're old news Jimmy: isn't there? Jimmy: I reckon owt's been said and done Janis: then it won't be hard to break the habit if that's what you think Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Fuck pretending then Janis: fuck pretending Jimmy: Don't be scared of me Jimmy: you can say or do owt you want Janis: why do you think I'm scared Janis: of you or anything Jimmy: because Janis: what, because I'm angry all the time Jimmy: because recognition Jimmy: I am, I know you are Janis: why are you scared Jimmy: Why is the why important? Janis: Deflection's easier, yeah Jimmy: 💔 then Janis: well you don't need to worry about that Jimmy: Yeah I do Janis: in general, yeah Janis: but not with me Jimmy: You think you're never gonna hurt me? Jimmy: wearing enough bruises for you already, aren't I? Janis: that weren't me, don't count Jimmy: cheat Janis: nah Janis: just saying, not my sport Janis: 💔 Janis: got no interested in breaking yours Jimmy: flattered, like Jimmy: but that's what every lass says Janis: so Janis: not every girl is me, been discussed Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: not like I know you, been discussed an all Janis: up to you if you wanna find out then Janis: but the idea you think I've got the time or energy to dedicate to that is insulting Jimmy: I get it, I ain't special, no need to go on about it Jimmy: heard you at bigger picture Janis: nothing personal Janis: no one is Jimmy: nowt is with you Jimmy: but you don't reckon I should be on my guard Jimmy: very suspect that Janis: you worried about being collateral, duck Janis: just saying, not gonna make it my life's mission to fuck you up Jimmy: and I'm saying you want me to tell you things, put myself out there when it don't mean owt to you Jimmy: how's that fair Janis: I never asked you to bare your soul to me Janis: I asked you to say you wanted to fuck me as well Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I did say that Jimmy: if that were all you wanted to hear you wouldn't call owt a headfuck Janis: I know you're vague on purpose Janis: that's why I asked you to say it, so it couldn't be taken back and said it was never said Janis: that's the headfuck Janis: all the previous shit can be wrote off as fake and neither of us can argue otherwise even if we wanna Jimmy: But if it's just sex which means fuck all to you or to me then why do you care what I say or don't after? Jimmy: that's why I don't get you Janis: same reason we started this Janis: everyone gets to talk shit on me Janis: not having it taken as gospel 'cos you put your dick inside me thanks Jimmy: I weren't about to screenshot and tweet out this convo once I did Janis: you're the only one that can be on his guard Janis: nah Jimmy: I'm the only fucker admitting that I am Jimmy: If you reckon I'm like that, like them, why would you even wanna do any of it? Janis: never said I reckoned that Jimmy: You think I'm gonna talk shit about you Janis: you could Janis: do it to my face plenty so why wouldn't you Jimmy: because I do it to your face Jimmy: go no reason to go anywhere else with it Janis: flattered, like Jimmy: just Janis: there's no way to guarantee any of this shit so we may as well agree to trust Janis: or not trust Janis: either or Jimmy: been worked out that we don't Janis: then it's settled Jimmy: is it? Janis: like I said, what we gonna do Janis: make a blood oath Jimmy: left my dagger up north, soz Jules Janis: then it definitely is Janis: letdown Jimmy: I'll delete my profiles then Jimmy: avoid you til school starts Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: Oh alright, what kind of fake break up do you want? Janis: have you been listening Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Have you? Janis: shut up, that's literally so far from the point of anything we were just talking about Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: go to hell Janis: seriously Jimmy: Tah for the holiday recommendation but the CG's only place I'm off to for a bit Jimmy: close but no 🚬 Janis: good, I hope you suffer Jimmy: 🤞 and 🙏 Janis: no need, you miserable prick Jimmy: not totally clueless then Janis: you wish Jimmy: I do wish you would catch onto a few, yeah Janis: heard you at avoid you til school starts, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're an absolute cunt Janis: why would you get me to say it again just to Jimmy: Go on Janis: and all that bullshit about being scared about getting hurt too Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: Yeah, all of this is utter bollocks Jimmy: what the fuck is right though Jimmy: what the fuck else do you expect me to do? Janis: how the fuck do you take me REPEATEDLY telling you that I want you as 'I'm going to ignore you from now on, bye' Janis: literally are we having the same conversation Jimmy: How can you think telling me repeatedly what a low fucking opinion of me you've got of me is gonna put me in a 😍 mood? Jimmy: Or that this is a good idea when we don't trust each other Janis: where Jimmy: You want this to mean nowt and now there's nowt to worry about Janis: I never said I have a low opinion of you Janis: and you don't give a shit about what I want so don't even pretend for the bit Jimmy: how do you take me REPEATEDLY asking you what you want as not caring about the answer? Janis: when you do the opposite Janis: how else can I take that Jimmy: like I said, what else can I do? Janis: not what I want, apparently Janis: alright Jimmy: I really fucking like you, alright Janis: we don't even know each other, how many times have you said that Jimmy: not enough obviously Jimmy: if it didn't make any difference Janis: but Janis: why Jimmy: Why are you asking me like its my fault? Janis: not fault but I do everything Janis: did everything so this doesn't happen Jimmy: It might be fake Jimmy: a headfuck like you said Jimmy: everything just Janis: you think so Janis: yeah you liked fake me Janis: you don't like me, you say it all the time Jimmy: that'd make more sense Jimmy: but tonight was real and I liked that too Janis: this is a mess Janis: i am Janis: you shouldn't get involved just 'cos I wanna Jimmy: but it weren't one sided Jimmy: everything we did earlier I wanted to do it Jimmy: and everything we still haven't Janis: it'd be easier if we hated each other Janis: its okay if I like you but you shouldn't like me Jimmy: just do me a favour alright Janis: what Jimmy: keep being real with me so I can work it out Janis: i don't want to hurt you Janis: i don't know or care how i put it before but i don't Jimmy: I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: might be that tonight's a fluke, I'm drunk and you're fit, not gonna not be into it Jimmy: you Janis: alright Janis: then it's a deal Jimmy: What? Janis: I'll keep being real Janis: like you asked Jimmy: Promise Janis: promise Jimmy: Alright, I swear I'm sorry Janis: what for Janis: not saying there's so much you gotta be specific but Jimmy: Making this weird Jimmy: weirder Janis: weren't one-sided either Janis: it's what it is Jimmy: Will you still Janis: come see you? Jimmy: Do you still wanna? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Okay Janis: besides, someone needs to make sure you don't die on the job Janis: bring you some caffeine that doesn't taste like shit Jimmy: and deny Ian the pleasure of doing me in? What kind of son would I be Janis: so your dads a real dick yeah Jimmy: you were warned Janis: we need to pimp out your shed so you got a place to sleep Janis: I was thinking Jimmy: the trampoline's alright, like you said Jimmy: can't remember how you did but you liked it Janis: when it's warm-ish out, yeah Janis: was comfy Janis: you or that dog woke me up though Jimmy: It's always warm out compared to Manchester Jimmy: why I need my 😎 Jimmy: and everything is always the 🐕 never me Janis: take your word for it on both of those Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I get why you reckon it'd be easier for us to hate each other but I hate Ian and nowt is for it Janis: yeah Janis: you're right Janis: there's nothing easy about hate it's just Janis: more familiar, idk Jimmy: the 💔 is different Janis: right Janis: if you already hate them, then it's not as shit, yeah Jimmy: At least you don't love me, it's even shitter when it's both together Janis: yeah Janis: headfuck doesn't begin to cover it Jimmy: @ my mum if she still used her profiles Janis: you don't know? Jimmy: She ain't logged in for years, why do you reckon I'm so tempted Janis: can't blame her Jimmy: who could compete with Iantaylor8 for online presence Jimmy: other than us Janis: well exactly Janis: also be a bit rude to deny the world your face Jimmy: yours Jimmy: so I'll keep my 📷 one Jimmy: maybe Janis: as long as you don't avoid me too Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: then don't Janis: I don't want you to either Jimmy: tell me again tomorrow Jimmy: when I'm less Janis: gotcha Jimmy: it just hurts more now Janis: i'm sorry Janis: do you want me to come? i don't have to Jimmy: you didn't do this Janis: what do you need, let's start there Jimmy: Now? Janis: yeah, now Jimmy: Tomorrow Jimmy: it needs to be tomorrow so I can see you Janis: baby Janis: you can see me today, it's alright Janis: I'll help you at work, it'll all be good Jimmy: I'm not letting you serve lattes to any of those dickheads Jimmy: you're too good Janis: shh Janis: i wanna help you somehow, i've gotta Jimmy: Do you wanna just 💀💀💀 them? Jimmy: me and you Janis: killing spree then a death pact is a solid chain of events but probably want to start in a better state, don't we Janis: 💪🥇 Jimmy: can be an utterly new pact if there's enough poison to go round Jimmy: you don't have to die at the end Janis: what about you? Jimmy: Did you forget? 👻 Jimmy: already am Janis: how could I Janis: is your manager actually in today? what if we contact that Pete kid see if he'll cover for you Janis: you should get some proper sleep, in an actual bed Janis: I can persuade him Jimmy: OMG you wanna use me to slide into his DMs Janis: boy, focus Janis: not really the sexiest approach, please do some overtime for my boyfriend Jimmy: 👀 on your 😍 girl Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you gonna answer any of that or Jimmy: I don't know if my manager is supposed to be in Jimmy: probably won't be either way though Jimmy: Oh the money, power and the glory Janis: you can but dream, yeah Janis: well it's up to you then Janis: but it'd probably be worse if you were in and in this state so what he don't know Janis: can't get you sacked Jimmy: I don't have any other place to go though, do I Janis: won't he be at work by now himself? Janis: can come back to mine if not, no funny business Jimmy: he's not the one I care about Janis: your brother and sister? Jimmy: I'm not gonna wake her up to let me in Jimmy: or let him see me like Janis: right, okay Janis: we'll sort you out first Jimmy: Didn't reckon all that fake nursing training you had would really come in handy, eh? Jimmy: can't help being goals Janis: bit of an extreme length to go to for some TLC but I'll allow it Janis: I'm on my way now so just hold on, yeah Jimmy: I mean, it's fairly standard for me but alright Janis: how you pull all the birds is it Jimmy: Babe, I'm just SUCH a lad, yeah? Jimmy: get drunk, have a scrap, nick my dad's scotch and get MORE drunk Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: gotta be done Janis: I get it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: fit right in on this bus Jimmy: don't get 💀💀💀 after we've changed the story in favour of your survival Jimmy: bit rude Janis: try my best Janis: don't victim blame me Janis: please and thanks Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: blaming you for nowt Jimmy: 😂 bit soon? Janis: hmm, don't get cheeky, like Janis: just 'cos you're a patient today Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: just a bit then Janis: trying to be nice Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I won't be cheeky enough that you kick me out of bed Janis: you're always nice, babe Janis: little ray of sunshine Jimmy: anyone can be nice Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🌩🌪 Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: You know when you're a kid and you count Jimmy: that's what it's like waiting to see you Janis: you're gonna make me Janis: forget to be professional Jimmy: not on the clock til you get here, it's alright Janis: I'm mostly worried about when I do get there, like Janis: not that I'm about to give the bus a show Jimmy: don't worry I'll take care of you too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: yeah, we are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're alright, you know Janis: you know I think you're alright Jimmy: I will be when you show up Janis: such a smoothtalker, honestly Jimmy: I know you didn't think all that were fake Jimmy: come on Janis: there's only so far you can get with no inspiration, yeah Jimmy: good thing you're 🎨 or we'd have been exposed as frauds ages ago Janis: we're a pretty good team, all things considered Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: yep Janis: shame you can't put relationships on CVs Jimmy: I can't pay you owt either 💔 Janis: don't need it Janis: or want it, like Jimmy: but decent headshots could get you a modelling job 📷 not 🎯 Jimmy: I could do that Janis: then we could both go Janis: no 💀 Jimmy: might work Janis: start of a plan Janis: we have such a good track record, like Jimmy: 💀👑 would 💀🤯 Jimmy: ⚰🎊🍾 Janis: just when she thought she couldn't be any more jealous Jimmy: I can give motivational speeches as my 2nd job too cause I felt it with every emoji Janis: very empowering, babe 💕 Jimmy: onto something Janis: reckon so Janis: just don't bang EVERY model you shoot Janis: get well shaming Jimmy: They'd have to all be as fit as you Janis: practically in the job description Janis: unless they're the 'unique' kind Jimmy: there's loads in mine I don't do Janis: 😱 employee of the month Janis: shh Jimmy: you'd vote for Pete anyway Janis: don't think they follow democratic process Janis: and how dare you, Jamie is the backbone of that place Jimmy: still Jimmy: you would Janis: nah Janis: you deffo would though Jimmy: I'd vote for myself Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: #selflove Janis: can respect it, boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 1. how much scotch did you drink Janis: 2. did you text your ex anything you should delete before you sober up Jimmy: if you're asking if there's any left for you 💔 I fucked up Jimmy: as for Hayley, she's been told to fuck off by half the north, she'll live Janis: could be worse then Janis: not for me, obvs Janis: but same Jimmy: I don't wanna get back with her, you know that, right? Janis: not my business either way Jimmy: Alright but do you have to say it like that? Janis: how do you want me to say it Jimmy: if its how you feel then Janis: look Janis: I'm glad I don't have to share your attention right now Janis: 'course I am but I don't need to sound possessive about it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Jimmy: Before, you said Jimmy: maybe I can't remember it right though Janis: no go on Janis: it's cool Jimmy: I dunno, I just Jimmy: reckoned you needed to hear that Janis: I did think maybe Janis: just some things you'd said too but it's Janis: you know Jimmy: you go on Janis: well like I said, not my business if you were Janis: but yeah, I thought you were Janis: I'd get it Jimmy: I wouldn't get it Jimmy: I trusted her and she Jimmy: It don't even matter anymore Jimmy: I made a mistake doing that and she made hers Janis: it's okay, you don't owe me an explanation Janis: I don't know her or your situation Janis: I just thought, from my limited perspective, you hate it here, it'd be a link to home, even if it was a bad one, like Jimmy: I hated it there an' all Jimmy: just 'cause I didn't ask and weren't asked to come here don't mean I wanna go back Janis: oh Janis: well that I get Jimmy: you had it right when you called me a miserable prick or whatever it were Janis: bit harsh though Janis: shit's shit Janis: you'd be an idiot if you didn't see it Jimmy: 🌧☔ me Jimmy: I'm alright with it by now Janis: yeah? Janis: that's something then Jimmy: everything's shit everywhere Jimmy: nowt gonna change next place he drags us Janis: wherever you go, there you are Jimmy: might get a new mum, might not Jimmy: might hear from my actual, might not Janis: she don't even call Jimmy: and say what? Janis: fucked Jimmy: they both were Jimmy: are Jimmy: and so are us kids Jimmy: ⚪ Janis: yep Janis: get out early as you can Janis: and don't have kids yourself Janis: only poem I've read that's any use Jimmy: 💔 that age 6 is probably pushing it a bit Janis: give it a few more years of shit and you can get away with it Jimmy: I'll start him on the poem anyway Janis: Larkin's dead easy Janis: debatable how appropriate but I'd go for very so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so we're going back to mine first Janis: or what Jimmy: You made this plan Janis: you gonna comply Jimmy: Depends Janis: that's what I was 🙀 of Janis: go on Jimmy: my 🙀💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: What's your house like? Janis: old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere Janis: perfect place for the local nutters to reside Jimmy: well now I'M 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you should be Janis: nah, you'll be able to get a decent kip, they're all doing their own shit and giving me disapproving looks if they know what's good for 'em Jimmy: Alright, protect me then Janis: always, babe Jimmy: I'm being dead serious Janis: 1. what makes you think I ain't Janis: 2. why Jimmy: just Janis: we can sneak in Janis: well, we can try but I don't know how well you'll do, pisshead Jimmy: Shut up 🏆💪 Janis: happy to be proved wrong Janis: it'll all be good though, promise Jimmy: stay close to me and you can every step Janis: I won't leave you on your own Jimmy: because you wanna stay or because you reckon I'll 🤢 and choke to 💀💀💀 Janis: you've made it this far without me, I'm not that bigheaded Janis: believe that or not Janis: I wanna stay Jimmy: even if I wanna die I wouldn't give Mia owt close to any satisfaction so that ain't the way for me to go Janis: hot Janis: keeping it petty, even in 💀💀💀 Jimmy: remind me to send it as a tweet tomorrow or something Janis: 'course Janis: that relatable suicidal/horny vibe, they get it Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: I think so Jimmy: I think no # would ever do you justice Jimmy: a voice memo is pushing it even with this top accent Janis: that laugh one you sent me was cute Jimmy: you do make me 😂 girl Janis: I know Janis: got the evidence for all time now 💕 Jimmy: keep it Jimmy: I'll be back as a 👻 fucking up all your electronics baby Janis: dunno what you got against 🍆s Jimmy: if they're not in you then nowt Janis: 😂 Janis: new levels of jealousy that Jimmy: is it? Janis: new to me Jimmy: Soz then Janis: don't Janis: don't need to be, like Jimmy: but if it's weird Jimmy: or too like Janis: it ain't Janis: its Janis: it ain't Janis: I wanna hear it all Janis: don't hold back okay Jimmy: You wanna hear what bits you do then you want me to shut up is what you mean Janis: would've said it if that's what I meant Janis: just 'cos I don't know what to say don't mean you can't say it if you wanna Jimmy: it's what everyone means, nowt personal Janis: you're just so chatty, like Jimmy: You just bring it out in me Janis: 'course Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: have to write you a poem now I know you're such a fan Janis: 😂 Janis: go on, he was always drunk Janis: will be a masterpiece Jimmy: Alright, shut up and let us crack on Janis: such a 🎨 temperament Janis: 🤐 alright Jimmy: [a selfie of his adorably drunk concentration face like 🤔 with a pen in his mouth and everything] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: OMG Janis: your fault Jimmy: Girl if you don't 🤐🤐🤐 Janis: or what, boy Jimmy: You'll show up and I'll show you Janis: mhmm 😏 Janis: reckon you've got like 5-10 so write fast Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nearly done Janis: dread to think Jimmy: Oi🥇 muse and top content Jimmy: so rude Janis: just a sext that rhymes, yeah? Jimmy: You ain't having it now Jimmy: gonna 🔥 it dramatically in this bin Janis: let's not play with fire tah Janis: and don't be mean Jimmy: you Janis: I'm joking Janis: I'm sure it's 🔥 Jimmy: [a poem that I don't have the talent to actually write soz lads] Janis: it actually is Janis: how did you do that Jimmy: I told you got a 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 muse in you Jimmy: keep up with what I'm saying, Janet Janis: but really Jimmy: What? Janis: you're good, that's all Jimmy: Baby Janis: I mean it, like Janis: no bullshit Janis: english teacher must love you Jimmy: she don't Jimmy: too much 🎨 in my margins Janis: can't be tamed Janis: maverick Jimmy: rebel with just that one cause still Janis: 'course baby Jimmy: if you ain't wearing your pjs why would you even be here, like Janis: you can see 'em when we get back Janis: sure you've missed them Jimmy: gonna make me 😭😭 Janis: emotional drunk Janis: it's alright, won't tell Jimmy: emotional support PJs Janis: 😂 don't get to be a funny one and all Jimmy: can do it all me Janis: 😍 Janis: just need to sleep, alright Jimmy: you wanna 🥊 or 💋? Jimmy: working through the list Janis: you know we can't do either yeah Janis: not drunk as you now Janis: nothing if not fair, me Jimmy: can fix that for you Jimmy: unless your parents are teetotal or something Jimmy: even then can't live that in the middle of nowt, can you Janis: lol you have no idea Janis: wait and see Janis: and we're fixing you, not feeding my addiction Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know, how d'ya think I feel Janis: things I do for you Jimmy: I'll owe you though, you love that Janis: that's you but good to even the score Janis: can't lie Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: is that a subtle way to say I need to hurry or Jimmy: working through a list, I said Jimmy: gotta use the bin for something since you said no fires Janis: so demanding Janis: almost like I don't want you getting more burns Jimmy: that Freddy Krueger #aesthetic though 😍 Jimmy: love a stripy jumper me Jimmy: very slimming 💀👑 will double tap my OOTD faster than you can say no cheese Janis: you are technically a nonce so Janis: the fedora fits Jimmy: 😂 Janis: where are you then Jimmy: where am I Jimmy: good question that Janis: full of 'em, me Janis: gimme a clue Jimmy: 🍀 Janis: oh good, you ain't fled the country Janis: wouldn't be very good for my rep, that Jimmy: Looking for a bus has gotta be easier than looking for the one lad Jimmy: hang on Janis: how blurry are your 👀 Jimmy: I'll take my 😎 off, babe Jimmy: for you Janis: scandalous Janis: behave you Jimmy: #nudes Jimmy: 👀 Janis: dunno if I'll recognize you even Jimmy: 😱😱😱💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: supposed to know me anywhere you Jimmy: the films have fucking lied Janis: shit fake gf me Janis: always said it Jimmy: If you want a tea you'll have to wait til we get back Jimmy: or fake it of course Janis: wanna have a tea party Jimmy: Depends Janis: guest list? Jimmy: So who else is invited? Janis: only the best 🧸s in town Jimmy: Forget that twat 🧸 your sister hangs out with then Janis: 😂 Janis: deffo Jimmy: I dont want owt to do with him Jimmy: no trust there, like Janis: unless he makes his own way Janis: ain't risking that bear cave to bring him Jimmy: if he is owt like her Jimmy: 🥇 at turning up where she ain't wanted Janis: telling me Janis: 🤞 he's like his father Jimmy: yeah, your birth being one Jimmy: well awkward Janis: so rude, honestly Janis: fuming in that womb I was Jimmy: Well done on taking the spotlight every day since, mate Janis: 🤷 Janis: someone's gotta Janis: she'd melt Jimmy: the kind of commitment I need Jimmy: and you need on your CV Janis: always banking them transferrable skills Jimmy: might be the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: dunno but it's up there Janis: you're a lucky boy Janis: everyone knows Jimmy: fake 💍 ASAP then Janis: have to find me first Jimmy: Stop distracting me Jimmy: or be distracting IRL Janis: [find this boy lmao] Jimmy: [just like oh hey cos how far away can he really be] Janis: [exactly, when you've gotta wait for a bus straight back, go to a different cafe and get some breakfast kids] Jimmy: [state of him he needs it lbr] Janis: [just steering him like] Jimmy: [nice parallel to when he had to when she hurt herself on that trip lol] Janis: [just silently fuming at Ian's handiwork blatantly, actually getting a pot of tea too 'cos why not] Jimmy: [tea improves any situation okay bye] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [are they sitting next to each other or opposite? Real questions] Janis: [hmm, probably opposite on a lil 2 seater moment] Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Janis: [plenty of time for snuggling later, oh the casual tension you're having to put aside rn girl, it fine lmao] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but actually no Im not haha] Janis: ['better?'] Jimmy: ['if things between us are' you know hes drunk when he answers a question] Janis: [nods but looks away like so casual 'course'] Jimmy: [when you're just trying to do something to make her look at you again but you end up just gently holding her face and looking into her eyes for 9 years] Janis: [bit deer in the headlights but allowing it still] Jimmy: [nods genuinely like okay I believe you as if she hasnt just come all this way to find you and take care of you bitch] Janis: [licks his hand like get off but also kisses it 'dope'] Jimmy: ['stop giving me such weird compliments'] Janis: ['stop taking insults as compliments, slag' 😏] Jimmy: [throws a sugar packet at her like how sweet] Janis: [puts it in his tea like energy] Jimmy: ['Oi, sweet enough me' but puts another one in anyway] Janis: 🍬🍨🍧🍭🍰 Janis: you Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 🤞 won't be any time soon Janis: ['try your best' shrugs 'like you said, ain't your fault though'] Jimmy: My fault he ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: I'll come through with the ☢️⚠️☣️ Jimmy: only so many times I can say tah before it's weird, you know Janis: won't tell if you forget your manners Jimmy: 😏 you'd like it is why Janis: shh Janis: return the favour Jimmy: not gonna say owt to anyone Jimmy: mute, remember Janis: can be as loud as you wanna, remember Jimmy: that middle of nowhere, is it? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: told you Janis: no one can hear you 😱 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: very shy me Janis: yeah, noticed Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but nearly knocks the precious tea everywhere cos drunkard] Janis: ['careful!'] Janis: I ain't got an apron and you can't be out yours yet Jimmy: [throws a napkin at her like sorted] Janis: [😑] Jimmy: sure you don't wanna 🥊, babe? Janis: stop being tempting Jimmy: never 💕 Janis: what am I gonna do with you, like Jimmy: What do you wanna do with me? Janis: [a LOOK 😳] Jimmy: [obviously giving her one back but shamelessly] Janis: [putting your finger to his mouth like he speaking] Jimmy: [you know they gotta go in his mouth in a saucy manner now girl he got no chill and cant be stopped] Janis: we're in public Jimmy: You're my girlfriend in public Janis: you see anyone else doing Janis: that Jimmy: if they were going out with you, I would see it, yeah Janis: you're wasted Jimmy: and what? Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Jimmy: it's won't not can't Jimmy: and that's only 'cause you said Janis: yeah okay Janis: but that's the right thing to do Janis: even if I don't wanna Jimmy: If it feels right to you then Janis: you know it is Janis: or you'll know later Jimmy: Later I'll be 😴💤 I won't know nowt Janis: that's the plan Janis: come find me after that, yeah? Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: nowhere Jimmy: might actually be able to find you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: believe in ya Janis: ['finish up' 'cos bus has to come eventually] Jimmy: [when you just give her a look like do you though? before necking that tea honey] Janis: [gathering their shit and holding the door open for him like come on boy] Jimmy: ['so romantic you' as he goes through the door like] Janis: [does a bow] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [takes her hand because if you cant handhold when you need to be kept upright when can you] Janis: ['least you'll definitely get a seat' 'cos can't be wobbling about the bus lmao] Jimmy: ['A northern 45 is a 95 anywhere else, only gotta spread the word a bit'] Janis: ['you're doing a great job with the psa, mate'] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [sitting him down and she should have to stand busy bus vibe] Jimmy: [trying to move up as if she can share this seat with you like that unthinkingly but she not #smol] Janis: tah Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: considerate forever Jimmy: [gesturing that she can sit on you because not like she hasnt before and its all so casual lol lol lol] Janis: [a look like are you sure? also excuse them the like old lady he's probably next to heheheh] Jimmy: [a look like do you wanna stand for 13 years I dont think so] Janis: [shrugs and hops on] Jimmy: [wrapping his arms around her like a seatbelt even though shes not gonna fall off and we know you just are doing a little hug moment boy] Janis: [so soft] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [a moment even if you're dying slightly] Jimmy: [just really leaning his head on her so casually here too nbd] Janis: [stroking his hair and sneaky checking the bruises and stuff] Jimmy: [he started it but its too soft and hes dying like] Janis: at least you look cool Janis: [is sad face tho] Jimmy: [makes her sad face a smiley face by smushing it] Janis: [lols 'excuse me'] Jimmy: helping you look if not 😎 then 😊 Janis: you're sweet Jimmy: you not gonna do the emojis this time? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: baby Jimmy: [😍 in this close a proximity, not a good idea boy, but here we are] Janis: you're just very Janis: distracting Janis: [so much eye contact] Jimmy: [when you say 'you' out loud so you don't have to break it by looking down at your phone to type] Janis: [annnnnd hold, just internally debating if you can kiss him or not morally] Jimmy: [we all know he would be leaning in to kiss her and then would so] Janis: [go with it girl, it's okay] Jimmy: [don't mind them bus peeps they just gotta have a moment] Janis: [lmao the tutting they don't even notice rn] Jimmy: [deal with it slags they are in love] Janis: [the level of restraint you need to keep it just at a makeout moment tbh, the old lady should need to get off like ahem lol] Jimmy: [honestly its been SUCH a night and they are gonna be on this bus for ages yet gdi, off you go 👵] Janis: [least they've got two seats now, spread out] Jimmy: [but never that much you clingy bitches #same] Janis: [lbr would've taken you longer than necessary to get off his lap] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [has to kiss her again obvs because they stop when they want not when a 👵 says so] Janis: [which is lowkey never but it's fine, long bus journey] Jimmy: [at least you can take advantage of having slightly more space to basically swap over so he's all but on top of her now instead, the tuts would be LOUD haha] Janis: [just being like 'don't get too comfy' 😏 between kisses] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK because unrepentant af about any of this soz passengers] Janis: [when you have to be the one with some control lmao good luck] Jimmy: [at least theres plenty of other people on this bus to tell you to get some LOL] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪🔪 Janis: 👴👵🚨👮⛓ Jimmy: 👵💔👴 Jimmy: so jealous them Jimmy: 👮🚔 will be an all Janis: yeah you're pretty cute Jimmy: you Janis: you wanna 🥊 so bad Jimmy: not what I most want but alright Janis: really Janis: maybe you should be clearer Jimmy: [more kisses that are more extra, look away people] Janis: I get it Jimmy: You sure? Janis: ['You know you wanna' and a LOOK] Jimmy: [forever returning those looks bitch and you can have some lovebites too girl cos its been a minute for you] Janis: [into it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [just taking photos of said bruises like it's a force of habit but you just wanna] Jimmy: [thats fine because gives him an excuse to take 📷 of her too which he always just wants to] Janis: you gonna be my personal photographer Janis: when I'm mega famous Jimmy: Do you still want me to follow you about then? Janis: Do you? Janis: [are you him like] Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: Paris, Milan, Tokyo Janis: list is endless Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Janis: sorted Jimmy: til I get lost Jimmy: at least you know how to take a decent selfie, babe Janis: have to put a tracker on you Janis: not a crazy gf, for his safety purely Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [just looking into those 😍 with your own] Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [kissing her on each cheek really soft like hes practising for europe but we know its for the 😳] Janis: ['stop' but soft] Jimmy: [does but doesnt move far enough away so still up in her grill like] Janis: [just pushing his head down, gently lol, like go to sleep] Jimmy: [pouty face] Janis: [squishing his face for revenge] Jimmy: [like oi because standard but snuggling into her] Janis: ['promise I'll wake you up'] Jimmy: ['no challenge too hard going for you, I get it' sleepy voiced] Janis: ['flexes the arm he ain't on] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: [have a snooze boy we'll skipperoo] Jimmy: [take some deep breaths Janis theres so much more to come babe] Janis: [roll up on the cali gaff lads] Jimmy: [that wont be awks at all now that its whatever o clock in the morning] Janis: [when one of them probably stayed home to watch her so she already snuck out to get him, on the shit list big time rn] Jimmy: [I hope whichever parent it is aint doing yoga on the lawn rn] Janis: [lmao now is not the time lads, not sneaking though 'cos fuck you fam is the mood evidently] Jimmy: [it really isnt because it should probably be Ali to show how seriously they are taking the driving escapade so him thinking her mum is fit is really not the mood] Jimmy: [also take a moment to really appreciate HOW MANY cats he would think he was half asleep still cos wtf] Janis: [i vibe] Janis: [when you're so embarrassed by your fam/house/everything tbh like get in my room quick thanks] Jimmy: [at least he wont really fully register it cos actually is sleepy so she can just hustle him through speedily] Janis: [just moving her shit out the way so he can get in] Jimmy: [I cant even think what her room would look like either dont start me] Jimmy: [so much like her nan bye] Janis: [like it was once nice 'cos can afford nice shit but is now wrecked/she's never in there now so any posters would be dated as hell] Jimmy: [I feel like hes gotta notice that even though hes not gonna say anything] Jimmy: [file that away in your head boy] Janis: [for another time, also have a nice tuck-in moment for the throwback] Jimmy: [yaaas! what size is her bed?] Janis: [defs a double 'cos she doesn't have loads of other shit she needs so she can] Jimmy: [good thinking you aint gonna have a homework desk are you babe] Janis: [and the attic is already more sizeable anyway soz lads, like they all could, but for example we said grace don't 'cos she wants her youtube background moment so then there is no room] Jimmy: [and Grace never brings lads home cos she would rather die so priorities] Janis: [surprised she brings her friends tbh, Mia like we coming bitch] Jimmy: [she wouldnt want them there but yeah Mia inviting herself from day 1] Janis: [getting all the tea the snek] Jimmy: [I hate her so much because we all know bitches like that] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [anything I need to know about that Janis is gonna do while hes just sleeping and snuggling?] Janis: [she'd probably do some homework 'cos promised she wouldn't leave obvs, work out 'cos all the tension today but that's only next room and also snuggle] Jimmy: [I was gonna say, use that gym honey its been a DAY for you both] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [we need another skip cos we gotta let this poor boy sleep for a while] Janis: [let her have a sleep too 'cos also hasn't so he can wake up first] Jimmy: [casually like where the fuck am I in that hot sec before he realises shes still right there bitch 😍 at her for a bit boy she wont know] Jimmy: [but actually like snuggling into her more cos you know you should check your phone to see if your siblings are alive but you dont wanna but thanks to Ian it would hurt trying to bury your head cos you arent drunk anymore so youre like ow and thatd probably wake her up so] Janis: [enjoy boy, waking up like 'hey'] Jimmy: [saying it back in the quietest voice ever] Janis: ['you need water?' and going to get up] Jimmy: [when youre like I need painkillers for all these injuries but you arent gonna say that because gotta be hard and northern so say nothing] Janis: [looking back like ?] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug, oh boy have some water and dont be a knob] Janis: [goes for that water] Jimmy: [does check his phone to make sure Cass and Bobby are alright] Janis: [should've washed his uniform for him so he can look like he's been a presentable boy at work all day, so bringing that back in too] Jimmy: [thats so domestic I nearly screamed then] Janis: [when you so caring on the low and no one knows rn] Jimmy: [he would be DYING because he dont have a mum to care about him and clearly Ian isnt] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [fully conceal dont feel boy so she doesnt know how much that got to you] Janis: [just sitting back down on the bed, looking at him like 🤔 'well, you look less pissed at least'] Jimmy: [he was drinking his water and keeping it casual so gotta do a little choke laugh into it like] Janis: ['if you die when I've gone to all this trouble, I swear' 😏] Jimmy: ['less witnesses here than on the bus, be alright' 😏 oh the double meaning excuse you slag] Janis: ['that's alright then' so flirty] Jimmy: [forever giving LOOKS, oh you two] Janis: [all the looks all the time, also the PJs are on as promised so] Jimmy: [give them a nod now youre properly awake boy] Janis: [little lol] Jimmy: [takes her hand and puts it on his pulse so she can see that hes still alive cos obvs trying to kill him with how cute she looks and is] Janis: [just moving your hands up and down 'cos you wanna but then getting to his face and pausing like 'what you gonna tell the kid, if he asks?'] Jimmy: [looks down at some old burn scar or other and back at her like theres your answer cos can easily say he did it at work by falling over something or whatever] Janis: [nods 'then you're good to go-' adding '-whenever' 'cos blatantly does not want it to be yet tah] Jimmy: ['Is the plan to starve me out or-' obviously stalling because he doesnt wanna go either ha 'Mia'll be well proud' but also when was the last time they ate either of them lbr] Janis: ['could just say you're hungry, dickhead' gentle push back down, like 'what you want?'] Jimmy: ['it'd end the live tweets too quick that' gets comfy and doesnt answer what he wants of course v helpful] Janis: [when you get on top of him like you're about to playfight or be saucy, which is it??? neither, getting up like 'get what you're given then, boy' 😏] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: sure you don't wanna live-tweet it? Jimmy: You want that to be your rep then? Janis: worse things than a heartbreaker, I guess Janis: jussayin, you had your chance to chat to me 🤐 Jimmy: Oi, not if it's my heart under the 🔨 Jimmy: so rude you Janis: so your 🖤 is delicate but your lungs and kidney can take it? Janis: noted Jimmy: swing a 🔨 delicately, do you? Noted Janis: forgot liver, but thought that might be a sensitive topic still Janis: very fucking considerate, I'll have you know Jimmy: might be for you, pisshead Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: now Janis: thanks to my excellent nursing Jimmy: Then an' all Jimmy: but I know how into giving it a go you were, not the only considerate one you Janis: even if we're back to faking it, you were never that good Janis: your 😵🥴 and bambi walk gave you away Jimmy: might be concussion that, you didn't ask, some nurse you Janis: didn't need to, you told me about the scotch of your own freewill Janis: so rude to question my competence Janis: risky, when I'm making you food as well Jimmy: scotch which came after, could've already had the serious head injury Janis: 🙄 considering you've survived your all-day nap Janis: gonna say I was right and you're taking the piss Jimmy: no 🏆 coming your way for a fluke, mate Janis: don't ask for much do ya Janis: don't fancy being your real gf, high maintenance motherfucker Jimmy: Nowt off you, I hate to be disappointed me Jimmy: enough 🎻 playing as is Janis: come up here and help yourself then, twat Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: 💀👑 is probably hiding in your fridge Janis: sniffing calories Janis: yeah well you can go in the freezer if you don't start behaving Jimmy: beats a cold 🚿 if you're gonna keep being so 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: not if you're concussed Janis: can't risk injuring you further 'til you're all better, can I Jimmy: I have been before, I ain't now Jimmy: You'll have to think of another way to lose your fake nursing qualification Janis: 'cos that's what I wanna do Jimmy: be out of your hands if you ain't 🥇 Janis: and lemme guess, you'll be 🥇 and in charge, yeah? Jimmy: Let me guess, you want Pete to have final say, yeah? Janis: I mean, don't even put the idea in my head if you want this food any time soon Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 can't share that cold 🚿 Jimmy: fuck it, go on into his DMs its been a bit and I can wait one Janis: BUT WHAT DO I SAY?!?! 😱 Jimmy: pic gonna be worth loads more than words, girl Jimmy: he's an artist Janis: 👂 not 👀 but I get your point Janis: and a voice message would be well forward Jimmy: and you're 🙀🥇🙀 obvs Janis: piss off Janis: not sending nudes to every fit boy I see ain't 🙀 it's sane Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you do it then Jimmy: he don't want mine Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and you turning out to be my beard isn't very believable Janis: why not Jimmy: would've picked a different lass if that's what I was after Jimmy: more girly or something Janis: 🖕 Janis: ignoring you now Jimmy: Why 'cause I'm not gay? Bit rude Janis: no because you're rude Jimmy: for not sending unwanted nudes to my straight male coworker? Nah mate you've got that wrong Janis: 😑 Janis: to me Jimmy: What for? Janis: what do you mean what for Jimmy: What do you mean I'm being rude to you? Janis: where to begin Janis: it comes that natural, you don't even notice, eh Jimmy: You notice owt that ain't happening Janis: don't be a gaslighter, that ain't #goals Jimmy: don't be throwing words about that you could save for a # Janis: liked you better when you were asleep Jimmy: I liked you better when I were too Janis: your sense of directions for shit but you can work on where the door is if that's the case Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: are you taking this food or what Jimmy: is it done or what? Janis: you're in such a rush Janis: would you even be done with your shift yet Jimmy: You told me to be in one Janis: I never Jimmy: you said fuck off out so I'm going Janis: I said stop being a dick Jimmy: you said leave Janis: well if you don't like me why would I do things for you and why would you want me to Jimmy: I never said Janis: yeah well you did Jimmy: that were you Janis: you said it back Janis: I was joking Jimmy: because in dreams owt can happen, why wouldn't that be better? Janis: now you're gonna be slick, huh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: whatever, keats Janis: just stay and eat Janis: in the oven now, don't need go waste Jimmy: only gonna take poison off your 💋 Jules so don't get any other ideas with the 🍽 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll take your word, no need to 🔪 yourself to get it written out anywhere else Janis: yeah if they reckon last night was a suey attempt they probably will take the knives so I'll be 😇 Jimmy: til I take you somewhere else, any road Jimmy: soon have you back at 😈🥇 Janis: not sure I can take your word on that score yet Janis: but we'll see Jimmy: Why not? Janis: still impatiently waiting for you to take me, ain't I Jimmy: if you're so impatient let's go Janis: gotta eat Jimmy: not me 👻 Janis: take my duties very serious, even if you doubt my ability Jimmy: so serious you Jimmy: that'll be why you were all jokes a bit ago Janis: keep your on your toes Janis: check for any concussion Jimmy: I'll work out with you, stop begging Janis: never keep up, baby Jimmy: That hurts, babe Jimmy: Ian's got nowt on you Janis: give him pointers on the verbal smackdown if I see him Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 you won't but tah Jimmy: getting really boring having the same row every time, like Janis: yeah, figured I was fucked for an invite back Janis: give him some new material, whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant 'cause he makes himself scarce for a bit after Jimmy: not showing you the door Janis: Ah Janis: almost like remorse, but not quite, sir Jimmy: Don't wanna look at me til I'm healed Jimmy: he'll have that in common with my instagram feed I'm sure Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Prick Jimmy: You ready for your close up then? Jimmy: be your time to shine, this Janis: so kind of you to share your spotlight Janis: 😏 Jimmy: well you know, if the queen of the undead asks I got every bruise decking some dickhead for you or whatever so I won't need it Jimmy: hero worshipped as standard Janis: she ain't very good down on her knees, so the rumor mill says so might wanna reconsider getting 'em 🙏 Jimmy: Teeth falling out during would put anyone off tbf Jimmy: 🤞 she at least swallows them Jimmy: Tooth fairy won't come but the lad might still Jimmy: 💕 Janis: put out a poll in the groupchat Janis: important info Jimmy: Where's Grace's room, if I don't get lost I'll ask her Janis: piss off Jimmy: Come on, tell me Janis: shut up, no Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: What? Janis: you know what Jimmy: No Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: go on Janis: I don't need to, pretty obvious Janis: ask your sister the same shall I Jimmy: She don't have a #squad for you to get the goss on, soz babes Janis: well I'm not gonna, freak Janis: neither are you Jimmy: What's the fucking matter with you? Janis: what are you on about Jimmy: You heard Janis: and you heard, shut up chatting about my sister Janis: don't see how you don't see that that's weird Jimmy: I weren't chatting about her, just her besties Jimmy: So what's your problem with that? Janis: just quit whilst I've got hot food coming at you or it'll end up in your lap Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [coming through with some kind of safe food she's just shoved in for them] Jimmy: [takes it so he can eat it and shhh] Janis: [omnom] Jimmy: [awkward moody silent eating lol] Janis: [fun times forever] Jimmy: [just finishing speedily and getting ready to go as if I'm gonna let that happen haha] Janis: [looking up as if she's shooketh 'alright?'] Jimmy: [a nod that's clearly incorrect] Janis: [a funny face like obvs not 'come on'] Jimmy: [a look thats like dont tell me to come on] Janis: [😱😬😋 in that order] Jimmy: [leaving but not really cos I still ain't gonna let him get that far obvs] Janis: excuse you Jimmy: can do, if you want Janis: the least you can do is say bye Jimmy: Alright then Jimmy: bye Janis: fuck you, come back here and say it to my face Jimmy: [does come storming back in but doesnt say it, because just looking at her intensely instead] Janis: [😡 face 'say.it.'] Jimmy: ['you' doesnt need to be as up in her grill as he is, but what's new 'why are you being such a massive dickhead?'] Janis: ['me?' outrage lmao 'you. what is your problem right now?'] Jimmy: ['What's yours? I fucking asked you ages ago'] Janis: ['Nothing, you've been an asshole ever since you woke up'] Jimmy: ['No, I've not, you've been having a go at me since your sister got mentioned'] Janis: ['and I told you, it weren't funny'] Jimmy: [annoyed shrug like whatever then] Janis: ['goodbye then' and flinging yourself dramatically on the bed] Jimmy: [does not move] Janis: [is on phone not looking his way so] Janis: what Jimmy: [taking her phone off her #problematic] Janis: [death stare 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [when you can't handle her shouting at you because soft boy 5ever so you're in a shut down like you didnt start this, oh boy so problematic] Janis: ['what' at a normal level like genuine confusion] Jimmy: ['everything's shit' but quietly like the grandma I am would be like ?? 'since I woke up, before then, just....'] Janis: [sighs, rubbing her temples and sitting back down from getting up to shout 'yeah' also quiet 'it is'] Jimmy: [sits next to her but not close to her, a throwback to that bench on the school trip because I'm that slut] Janis: ['I get it, alright' throwing a glance back but not maintaining any eye contact rn 'sorry'] Jimmy: [lying on your back to stare at her ceiling dramatically because you wanna cry and its another throwback while Im on a roll 'I'm a dickhead and I'm sorry'] Janis: ['yeah but so am I, for one; and two, don't make it alright that everything's SO shit, you know' shrugs, shuffles back but doesn't commit to laying down next to him, taking his hand] Jimmy: ['You're not though, you're-' I can't even begin to go there rn boy, sits up but without letting go of her hand and is just looking down at it like 'and you have made it alright, a bit' because she is so nice and he cant even deal Janis: ['a bit' 🤏 smiles a lil and nudges him like, you ain't either though, shrugs 'just what any fucker would do, and they probably wouldn't be a cunt minute you wake up so-'] Jimmy: [raises their linked hands like I can't do the lot stretched out hand thing without letting go, soz because of course he isnt gonna do that. Lowkey crying silently #same because you dont know how to express how nice she is or how much you arent used to/cant handle it] Janis: [when their hands are going back down, tapping his head 'you nerd' then taking his other hand and finally hugging so he can cry in private 'I swear, I wanna make it alright all the time, I wanna be your mate but you don't get it, I ain't a good one, all I'll bring is more hassle, like'] Jimmy: [just the longest hug ever because all the reasons 'you're the best I've had, I get that it sounds fake but it's not'] Janis: [just squeezing him tighter 'cos what to say like same bitch] Jimmy: [such a MOMENT 'you wanna get out of here with me now then?'] Janis: ['yeah' no hesitation 'but you're gonna have to leave and I'm gonna have to sneak out after'] Jimmy: need a 🚬 anyway Jimmy: find me after Janis: okay Jimmy: [leaves but looks back of course cos ILY bitch] Janis: [chasing him down and giving him the most intense kiss of all time, pablo where you at to interrupt] Jimmy: [OMG Mia where you at tho] Janis: [if she was actually over LMAO] Jimmy: [she so could be if we want because always inviting herself] Janis: [amuses me greatly why not] Jimmy: [Grace chasing Mia down but not to kiss her I hope and just like oh ffs because so over Mias obsession with JJ] Janis: [#thereallovestory] Jimmy: [they are everyones otp get over it now Mia] Janis: [least they can bants about how it's getting weird now, egg on your face sweaty Jimmy: [and she cant hang so she cant join them bants soz] Janis: [not soz, when you can start kissing again like it's purely to get them to fuck off but blatantly not] Jimmy: [going for it because you know Mia is too invested when Grace has to drag her away like dont be weird] Janis: [probably try to join in, just loling when they're gone] Jimmy: [you know they are having a bestie domestic, Grace having to be all what is your problem herself because seriously Mia get a grip my love] Janis: [oh the drama, weekly falling out is on, pick a side everyone] Jimmy: [at least JJ are living their best lives rn] Janis: ['why are you making me wanna stay, just a bit' 🤏] Jimmy: [kissing her again because challenge to make her wanna stay a lot is very much accepted] Janis: [just making your way back upstairs really slowly 'cos you're making out the whole way/being pushes backwards] Jimmy: [don't fall over and hurt yourselves either of you because that wouldnt be a mood and this is] Janis: [you got this, on your knees/sat anyway so it fine] Jimmy: [love that you keep having moments on stairs atm] Janis: [mewd] Jimmy: [god bless you both] Janis: [first time yay or nay?] Jimmy: [I say yes because it happened here OG anyway and feels are well high like how would we even stop them lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [we have to steal them missing their stop on the bus from the OG and having to walk for another occasion though cos that was a mood] Janis: [yes easily done tho so we will] Jimmy: [blatantly re-read that hence me and my dementia remember so] Jimmy: [At least Cali cant kick off at her because she did technically stay in] Janis: [gonna say I do not tbh lol] Janis: [if they do just be like HE WAS LOCKED OUT fight me] Jimmy: [we all know Caleb is a soft touch anyway lads] Janis: [trutru also save the lecture she busylol] Jimmy: [he would have that boy over for dinner every night and lowkey adopt him haha] Janis: [he don't know that yet tho just thinking there's another bad egg on the scene] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [the joys of being a parent lmao] Jimmy: [arent you glad you went as hard as you did on the numbers guys] Janis: [regrets, you have 10] Jimmy: [awkward] Janis: [speaking of, how you wanna be lads] Jimmy: [staying forever is how he will wanna be clingy bitch] Janis: [probably need to go feed your siblings though so he could always have a headstart and she'll meet him there] Jimmy: [good point, gotta keep them alive] Janis: [especially if Ian is hiding] Jimmy: [at least he would be at work still so easy to avoid] Janis: [true tea, and if he shows Jimmy can pretend he been working all day anyway] Jimmy: [Twix will be going mental honey, poor bab] Janis: [🤞 cass been holding the fort and walked her] Jimmy: [Im gonna insist she has or Ill be 💔] Jimmy: [also gotta insist that Mia has been posting about them so they gotta be reminded of the fake shit after being the realest ever with each other like] Janis: [a good jump off point] Jimmy: [leave them alone and mind your business bitch literally why are you so bothered] Janis: [never known love, never known life] Janis: how many restraining orders you reckon her da has found loopholes in, like? Janis: [whatever extraness on Mia's socials] Jimmy: Fuck's sake Janis: yeah Janis: she must've left in a strop a while ago 'cos grace is stomping around here solo, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: thoughts and prayers Jimmy: Hang on, let me start a gofundme to buy poor Gracie a new bestie Jimmy: 🧸 still in my bad books Janis: well, s'a hard sell so Janis: 🍀 to you Jimmy: Oh come on 🥇 optimist at work here Janis: call it clueless Janis: but love that for you Janis: luxury money can't buy Jimmy: Oi, be nice to me Janis: I am Janis: it's endearing Janis: only jealous, like Jimmy: Suspicious Jimmy: my undercover 👮🚔 senses are going Janis: Why? Janis: no case to crack here Janis: open book, me Jimmy: that's what a closed book would say Jimmy: got my 👀 on you, baby Janis: 😏 Janis: that's what a 45 year old perv would say Janis: nothing to hide, keep on 👀 Jimmy: Alright then Janis: you not on the bus? Janis: don't have to hide in the bushes w the binoculars Jimmy: I don't have time to spy on you 🚌👵💕 Jimmy: 👀 for another, tah Janis: 💔 Janis: move so fast Jimmy: told you I could keep up with you in the gym Janis: not gonna be your gym buddy now though 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have a new 🚿 buddy in a bit Jimmy: those non slip surfaces and grab rails 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: it's a date and a party Janis: 😡 Janis: hope she breaks a hip xoxo Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: in good hands, her Janis: be nice to me too Jimmy: If I start Janis: ? Jimmy: I'll want you to get on this bus with me Janis: same Janis: they're being ridiculously OTT Jimmy: bit rude when that's my job Janis: I'll let 'em know Janis: dead curious, like 🙄 Jimmy: tell them I ain't done a shift of my other, raring to go, me Jimmy: such a strong worth ethic Jimmy: work* Janis: you want 'em to like you Janis: 😎 boy for life Jimmy: I want you to know I like you Jimmy: where OTT comes in Janis: I want that too Janis: no 🙄 needed Jimmy: Come back then Janis: I will Janis: when they shut up and give me a second alone Jimmy: How much trouble will you be in? Janis: not enough that I care Janis: unless they plan to actually lock me in my room, they know I won't stick around anyway, pretend to the contrary if they want Jimmy: Did you just quote me? Janis: didn't check if I got it verbatim but Jimmy: 💕 Janis: shut up 💘 Jimmy: you can't tell me to shut up when you're having my words come out of your mouth Janis: you know I say 'em nicer Jimmy: bollocks you love my accent Janis: just like it when you actually talk, babe Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: What do you wanna hear? Janis: How much you like me Janis: and how you're gonna show me Jimmy: [a voice memo thing going into far too much detail considering he is either on the bus or waiting for one] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: remind me why you aren't here again Jimmy: 'cause you're coming to me Jimmy: soon as Janis: yeah Janis: and I can stay Janis: 'til Ian shows again, yeah? Jimmy: even when he does Jimmy: I said, not kicking you out Janis: good Janis: 'cos don't wanna go unless we go together Janis: 💀🤞 Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: got that in writing now Janis: love a contract, you Jimmy: #middle aged man kinks Janis: 😂 Janis: it's alright, you got stamina, for an old guy Jimmy: reword that tweet a bit before you hit send probably Janis: not gonna blow your cover Janis: bit late for the blow-by-blow account anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: in a stunning turn of events, gracie is helping me for some reason so should be able to get out of here sooner than anticipated Jimmy: very funny Janis: funny weird, yeah Janis: already ordered a lift so Jimmy: Hang on, you ain't joking? Janis: unless she is Janis: see in 5 Jimmy: unless she kills you Jimmy: still see you though 👻💕 Janis: counterproductive if that's what they're all claiming to be so upset about Janis: funny though Janis: she'd get shanked so fast in prison Jimmy: Might not, had loads of practice being Mia's bitch Janis: assume that's where she's running herself Jimmy: how romantic Jimmy: tell her not to, we don't need the competition Janis: absolutely not Jimmy: You won't have a convo with her or you won't tolerate them as an IT couple? Janis: 1. I'm not trying to help her ever Janis: 2. they're both in love with me Janis: 3. we're 🥇 and don't ever imply less Jimmy: So forceful you Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: sort it out, honestly 😏 Jimmy: if you get to mine before me, you'll have to Jimmy: skipped the honeymoon and went straight to kids and a dog Janis: that's a point Janis: evidently YOUR honeymoon is over 'cos waited for you to get on that bus, like Janis: plan worked 💕🙌 Jimmy: never a bad plan, you Janis: n'awh Janis: don't worry, know how to do oven chips, I can sort it Jimmy: so does Cass, she's 12 not 2 Janis: excuse me, you want me to muck in or nah Jimmy: No, I don't want you to Jimmy: that's why I said you might have to Jimmy: under duress, same as me Janis: well I'm used to that Janis: no worries Jimmy: Ruining the fantasy a bit there, rich girl Janis: you can do better Jimmy: Obviously Janis: and you'll have plenty of time after the bedtime routine Jimmy: Not if our kid has owt to do with it but I'll make time for you Janis: can't stay awake long as I can Janis: 💪 Jimmy: I'll give you the 🏆 when I wake up then Janis: talking 'bout outlasting the kid but if you're 😪 already baby Jimmy: been tired since before I met you Jimmy: worst kept secret in my new boy mystery set Janis: poor boy Janis: I'll help you sleep, trust Jimmy: What's your singing voice like? Fed up of 🎻🎻🎻 me Janis: don't reckon I'm winning any 🏆 but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how do you do it then Jimmy: What? Janis: the whole having self-control thing Janis: 'cos when I see you I'll just wanna Jimmy: The clue's in the first bit Jimmy: it ain't about me Jimmy: what I wanna do Jimmy: I ain't got no self control, just Jimmy: shit in my way Janis: hmm Janis: makes sense Janis: all your habits, like 🚬 Jimmy: got plenty of self destruction, yeah Jimmy: nowt in the way of that Janis: I'll drink to that Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: There's no scotch but you can have owt else that he or I've not Janis: such a good host Jimmy: Do you have 🚬? Janis: nah but I'll go shop Janis: give you chance to get here Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: How do you do this? Janis: ? Jimmy: it's the longest 🚌 ride I've ever been on 😱😱 Jimmy: you really live in the middle of nowt, girl Janis: you were warned Janis: hoping it'll keep us in, hasn't really worked Jimmy: actually gonna have to move you in Jimmy: don't even like you it's just jealousy that you get to spend so much time with hot drivers like this bloke Jimmy: and the 👵👴 on board every time Janis: honestly, prime hunting ground for you Janis: it's probably trevor Janis: be more jealous, I know 'em all by name Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Why you trying to make me get banned for 🥊? Jimmy: even if I won't need to visit you here 💀👑 and the rest of the #squad will want me to show up Janis: 1. you're jealous of me for seeing them, not the other way 'round, remember Janis: 2. just really want an excuse to steal another car Janis: 3. gonna make a habit of giving them what they want? Jimmy: 1. that's obvs all a blur 'cause I'm too fuming to think clearly now Jimmy: 2. I didn't steal the 1st one so I don't reckon you can say another Jimmy: 3. Depends Janis: 1. Me too now, see 3 Janis: 2. you don't know how far I got, pisshead Janis: 3. 😒 Jimmy: What's that face for? Jimmy: You dunno what it depends on yet, mardy Janis: I know I don't like it either way Janis: but fine, what? Jimmy: I was just Jimmy: but nah it's alright, you don't wanna know Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😒😒 Janis: [imagine she's done them huge like on facebook] Janis: well tell me Jimmy: If they still want me to break up with you, I might Jimmy: to cut out all the fake shit between us Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Janis: who told you you were allowed to be so Jimmy: ? Janis: idk the right word Janis: cute just sounds fake Jimmy: I know what you mean Janis: alright, bighead 😏 Jimmy: Piss off, I meant about sounding fake Jimmy: that's why I reckon breaking up and just seeing each other when we want, how we want, is the best plan Janis: makes sense Janis: anything we were gonna achieve with it, we have by now so Janis: can just ghost 'em, like Janis: not like we have to make an annoucement, they'll do the rest themselves Jimmy: school might be weird, being exes, that's the only thing Janis: yeah Janis: not really an alternative though, is there? Jimmy: Be easier to fake 💔 than 💕 probably Jimmy: not like we have every lesson together anyway Janis: and school is shit anyway so Jimmy: If you want a day off from pretending to hate me, we'll skip Janis: why do I need to hate you Jimmy: We were so in love and now we ain't #duh Jimmy: every dickhead knows you can't be friends with your ex Jimmy: unless you want them to think you're a lesbian again, like Janis: if it's the only option we've got then it is Jimmy: You don't reckon it's a good one? Janis: nah Janis: but there ain't a good one Janis: not your fault, like Jimmy: Fake 💔 or fake 💕 then? Janis: 💔 why not Janis: may as well, change of scenery Jimmy: I get it 😒 is easier than 😍 for me an' all Janis: 👌 Jimmy: sorted then Janis: yep Jimmy: [shows her a doodle he's done of them while he's stuck on this bus like okay boy your 😍 are showing here] Janis: you still got time to post that or what Jimmy: Do I? Janis: your plan Jimmy: I'm not gonna 💔 til you wanna though Janis: what are we waiting for Jimmy: Alright I'll delete now Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Owt you want off my phone you can sort in a bit Janis: don't need to Jimmy: bit rude Janis: why Jimmy: Oi, a 🥇 photographer, me Janis: don't actually need a portfolio Janis: tah Jimmy: Fine Janis: don't fancy it, posting the 🚬 through your letterbox ok Jimmy: No, there's nowt okay about that Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: what are you Janis: something's come up Jimmy: What has? Janis: does it matter? Janis: just need to go Jimmy: Why wouldn't that matter? Janis: don't be awkward Jimmy: you Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: Nothing Janis: but this plan won't just happen by itself either Janis: things I need to sort now Jimmy: Not what you said before Jimmy: you said we didn't have to do nowt Jimmy: that they'd work it out Janis: about figuring it out Janis: I'm talking about the fallout Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: well do you really wanna mope around and pretend to be 💔 Janis: actual 💔 Janis: that's the rep you want? think about it Janis: just means more faking, only with other people Jimmy: I'm not gonna get another fake girlfriend if that's what you're saying Janis: not saying you repeat this scheme Janis: but gotta be seen to be moving on, yeah Jimmy: No Janis: alright for you, isn't it Janis: who do you think they'll reckon dumped who Jimmy: You can dump me, I don't care what they think Janis: still fake, ain't it Janis: whatever way we play it Jimmy: Yeah but Jimmy: we can be real with each other Janis: I fucking hate it Janis: that it matters Jimmy: That's why I'm trying to give us a chance to start over Jimmy: Alright, we might have to give them one last show but after that whenever I see you or say owt it's real Janis: Is it though Jimmy: Why wouldn't it be? Janis: if you're trying to not see me again for real, just do that Janis: don't headfuck me Jimmy: You're the one who has come all this way to decide you don't fancy it Janis: it's you that keeps talking about hating and avoiding and all that shit Janis: how am I meant to take that Jimmy: If you don't fancy me anymore because fucking me weren't like you thought it were gonna be then alright Jimmy: but don't talk bollocks Jimmy: You know I wanna see you Janis: No Janis: it isn't that Janis: but no, I don't know that either Janis: feel like I don't know fuck all these days Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I didn't wanna go, you have to know that, you were there Jimmy: and I wouldn't bring you here where I don't wanna fucking be if I didn't REALLY want to see you Janis: I'm Janis: stupid Janis: sorry Janis: take your pick Jimmy: just Jimmy: come back Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: it does if I've made it weirder than I already felt Jimmy: what can be weirder than not being fake with your fake girlfriend? Jimmy: I don't care, alright Janis: you thought it was weird Jimmy: What? No Jimmy: I mean actually telling you how I feel is weird Janis: oh Janis: well, agreed Jimmy: Agreeing is weird an' all, isn't it? Janis: can't take the other side and pretend this is standard for me, soz Jimmy: be weirder if it were Jimmy: You reckon I've got some fucked habits but that'd be Janis: don't be mad 'cos you're my 5th fake boyfriend, alright Janis: judgey Jimmy: That ain't funny or cute Jimmy: Shut up Janis: obviously not Janis: you approached me Janis: not doing that kinda suggestability voodoo Jimmy: OMG 🤐 Janis: yeah, think on Janis: was a pretty out of character thing to do, no? Jimmy: Paddy girls are pretty full on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: there's nowt you can say Janis: not lumping myself in with that lot Janis: and you Jimmy: neither were I Jimmy: never have done Janis: ❄ Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: such a dick, you were Jimmy: Nah, I am Jimmy: no need to past tense it Janis: just specifying the time Jimmy: Alright, so don't forget to add I will be such a dick too then Jimmy: for the future Janis: if I'm about, I'll be sure to let you know Jimmy: 💔 you won't be able to @ me Jimmy: but wherever Ian drags us next somebody'll say it to my face, no doubt Janis: of course, you are a dick, after-all Jimmy: and yet still properly sought after Jimmy: a brainer lad would've planned that Janis: enough room for a proper beefy 🧠 in that massive head Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 that it's empty then Jimmy: well nearly Janis: poor boy Jimmy: I'll live, babe Jimmy: 🧟💕 Janis: now it's my turn to be 💔 Jimmy: Go on and have a 🎻 too then Jimmy: might as well Janis: can't even be 😍 over how generous you are Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos you said from now on we're only saying real things Jimmy: and you shot down the 💡 in 🔥 Janis: no I didn't Janis: you didn't explain properly Jimmy: You don't wanna say real things to me Janis: where'd you get that idea from Jimmy: call it 👮🚔 senses Jimmy: or that you're well quick to not understand what I've said 'cause like I said 😒 is easier Janis: or maybe it's a weird situation that's hard to understand Janis: which we agreed on Janis: if 😒 was easier I would've thought it was the best idea ever Jimmy: Alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: so what are you saying Jimmy: nowt Janis: fuck off Janis: you reckon I can't handle real then Jimmy: You did, I were there Janis: so why are you saying I don't want it then Jimmy: No 🧠 Janis: ugh Janis: alright Jimmy: It just feels like Jimmy: you don't want any of this now Janis: that's not true Janis: why do you Janis: nah Jimmy: Go on Janis: it's Janis: like why would I have freaked out back there if I didn't want it Janis: when I thought you didn't Janis: not keeping you around as a sure thing when I don't give a fuck, am I Jimmy: I can't say how long I'll be around here anyway, you either so Jimmy: don't worry about it Jimmy: I'm just being Janis: don't mean we can't now Janis: does it Janis: every fucker else does, not like they have any more guarantee Jimmy: Not a habit of mine to leave 💔 lasses behind me Janis: behave Jimmy: I don't want to, had to for ages when you were only giving me fake 💕 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me that Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah but the 💔 has always been fake, what I'm saying Janis: don't need to think about that Jimmy: Good 'cause as far as 💭 I can do better Janis: go on then Jimmy: [the most 🔥 sext of all time obvs] Janis: can I come back Janis: please Jimmy: I said Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: just checking Jimmy: where are you? Janis: not far Janis: well a bit but not out of town far Jimmy: 🏃? Janis: if that's you, then no, think of your lungs Jimmy: not the bit of me I'm thinking with and I'm only thinking of you, not me but alright Jimmy: if you can't handle another race Janis: now I'm with ya Janis: 'course I'M gonna run Janis: but the incentive is appreciated Jimmy: I'll appreciate you better than that Janis: you better Janis: i've missed you Jimmy: 🥇 baby, you'll see Jimmy: it feels like ages since I left Jimmy: it's been ages but you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: like actual time as passed and not a day Janis: it's always been a bit like that with you Janis: weird Jimmy: but you were still always gone before I was ready for you to be Jimmy: weirder Janis: felt it too Janis: weirdest Jimmy: I Janis: yeah? Jimmy: just Jimmy: it is a mess but Jimmy: I'm glad I did ask you Jimmy: nowt else could've happened if not Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: You reckon I'm wrong? Jimmy: somehow don't picture you hanging round the CG like your twin Jimmy: obviously I could have caught you in the gym 🏆💪 but unlikely you'd be chatty then, sore loser you are Janis: ha x2 Janis: 😏 Janis: we do go to the same school, you know Jimmy: Were you gonna offer to help me with my homework or what? Janis: not porn Janis: and I'm not some bitch with pigtails and a plaid mini skirt, like Jimmy: not with that attitude Janis: 😂 Jimmy: and I've seen you in your uniform, like Jimmy: not that far off Janis: you're such an idiot Janis: but you did know then, that's good Jimmy: Know what, that you're really fit? Obviously Janis: that we were at the same school before the fateful trip Jimmy: I get that I hide them well but I've got 👀 Jimmy: I saw you, like I said Janis: and obviously I couldn't miss the welcome party so Janis: 👀 likewise Jimmy: Am I ever gonna see you today or did you get lost? Janis: I'm on my way Janis: I'm fast, works in and out of your favour, I'm afraid Janis: depends which way I'm 🏃 Jimmy: Tah for not being well fast at everything then Jimmy: be over before I did my best tricks Jimmy: and you'd be asleep like half that bus were Janis: 💔 get used to not having an audience fast Janis: and benefits of not being a lad, just go again Jimmy: can't if you're 💀💀💀 Jimmy: get me arrested that Janis: promises promises Jimmy: which you know you can hold me to Jimmy: unless your memory loss is back Janis: no but Janis: stop distracting me if you want me to get there any time soon Jimmy: Baby, I've seen you multitask Jimmy: come on Jimmy: can do so many things at once you Janis: I wanna save it for you Janis: you turned me on so it's yours Jimmy: I'm going nowhere yet but the kids and dog are Jimmy: this whole house is yours, just need to get to it Janis: serious? Jimmy: Deadly, as usual Janis: Good thing I'm only a couple streets away then Janis: hold on Jimmy: Surviving somehow Janis: 'cos you can't 💀💀💀 without me Jimmy: keep my promises, yeah, that kind of dickhead Janis: I like that kind of dickhead Jimmy: Shakespeare's got nowt on you, girl Jimmy: you better only be a couple of streets away Jimmy: don't be saying shit like that to me if I can't respond immediately Janis: [rings doorbell] Jimmy: [thank god he sent everyone away because we know what kind of hello she's getting] Janis: [lol if someone else answered that would've been very awkward for us all] Jimmy: [likewise if Twix got there before him] Janis: [distracted with food probably] Jimmy: [it's alright she can be gone too on a walk or wherever] Janis: [my boo say everyone out] Jimmy: [give them their privacy please they've had enough audiences]
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Forduary 2019 Week 3 - Forgiveness
Summary:
Stan and Ford get framed for a crime using Ford's invention, they get thrown in jail, and Filbrick decides to make Ford stop inventing...
This year's Forduary fics are linked like the chapters in a book! It'll definitely help if you read the first two works first, but here's a quick recap: Ford was bullied by Crampelter, Stan rescued him, but both brothers got hurt. The next day was Saturday, and they went to go work on the Stan O' War, where Ford ends up inventing an aerial bucket lift so they could help a decapitated ghost. This story picks up on the same day, right where the previous story left off.
Trigger warning: Threatening situation in a jail cell, parent bullying, some dissociation at the end.
HERE COMES THE AAAAANGST!
First fic AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17957654
Second fic AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18000998
This fic AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18001061
The rest of the day should've gone perfectly.
They'd recovered the coin from the seagull, which Stan was sure laughed maniacally at them the whole they'd chased it. Stan wanted to hawk it immediately and do some major impulse buying, but Ford pointed out that it would price higher if it looked clean, and anyway he still wanted to test it for ectoplasmic residue.
They stopped by the drugstore, the hardware store, and then the Juke Joint, so Stan could feast on hamburgers while Ford put together the equipment he'd need to run the tests. By then the electromagnetic sensor he'd put together didn't pick up anything from the coin, but Stan just shrugged and suggested they head back to the ship.
“You can just attach your gizmo-thing to the top of your crane, right?” Stan had asked. “I mean the guy's head sat on top of the mast for like an hour, that's bound to have left some juices in the wood.”
“Of course, that's perfect!”
“Yeah! I get half-credit if you discover anything though, right?”
They paid quickly and Ford all but dragged Stan out of the diner and down the street, talking a hundred miles an hour about potential discoveries and walking so quickly Stan winced at his bruised ribs as he tried to keep up. Ford could feel it in his ankle, too, but he was so excited he found it almost impossible to slow down.
So he was first to round the corner on Ashwood Boulevard – and immediately stopped short.
There was a Thrift Store across the street, and the side of it had been covered in bright blue graffiti. The words “STAN PINES AND THE FREAK” were written over the blue in bright yellow paint, complete with caricatures of their faces. Ford's crane was sitting to one side, spray cans littered around it, a red can still pinched in its grip. The store owner and several tourists had stopped by to stare at it.
Stan came up behind him. “What're you – oh, come on! Seriously? Are you frigging kidding me?!”
“But we left the crane at the beach!” Ford protested. “It was inside the Stan O' War! How did – who was watching –”
“GOTCHA!”
Something hard slammed into Ford's back and he hit the ground, hard, a knee pressed sharply into his spine. He heard shouting and a scuffle; he craned his neck to see Crampelter's thugs pinning Stan against the nearest wall.
“HEY OFFICER!” Crampelter's voice shouted gleefully. “WE GOT 'EM, THEY'RE OVER HERE!”
A police car pulled up to the curb and two solid-looking men stepped out, their badges glinting.
“Oh this jokester,” one of them grumbled, narrowing his eyes at Stan.
“Hey, I didn't do anything!”
“Said that last time, too, and this time the writing is literally on the wall. Alright kids, step aside.”
The first officer went over to Stan, pulling out his handcuffs. The second offer did the same, approaching Ford and grabbing his arm. Crampelter rolled off him, grinning as Ford was pulled to his feet.
“Wait, wait a second!” Ford gasped, his lungs still struggling to inflate. The cop's vicelike grip was making him sweat. “We've been at the Juke Joint for the last hour, you can ask the waitress, she'll remember my hands!”
“Your – geez!” The cop caught sight of his fingers and reflexively shoved him away. The sensor fell out of Ford's vest. Before he could grab it, the officer scooped it up. “The heck is this thing, some kinda nuclear weapon? You a mad scientist, kid?”
“No, just a scientist! I build equipment to test hypotheses, not to deface buildings!”
“So you didn't build that?” He pointed to Ford's crane, which had a visual design very similar to the sensor.
“I – well I did, but –”
“Turn around, kid.”
“Wait, they stole it from the beach, I built it because our ship –”
“Turn around.”
The cop spun him around and grabbed Ford's wrists. Ford heard him suck in his breath at the sight of both six-fingered hands. Crampelter snickered and his face burned. He glanced over and saw the other cop already dragging a handcuffed Stan back to the car. The struggle must have aggravated his ribs, because Stan was hardly fighting back at all. Nausea rose in Ford's gut. He looked down and saw –
“Wait, officer, wait! His shoes, look at Crampelter's shoes! There's blue spray paint!”
“'Scuze me?”
“It's not spray paint!” Crampelter said quickly. “It's – uh – dye! From clothing! I was dying towels for orphans!”
Stan snarled at him. “You think anybody'd fall for –”
“That's enough out of you,” snapped the cop holding Stan, and he shoved him into the backseat. “You know how long I've been waiting to catch you in the act? Now shut up. I don't want to hear another word out of either of you or I'll let you keep those shiny new bracelets when I put you in your cell.”
The second cop shoved Ford in next to Stan and slammed the door.
Ford knew Stan had gotten himself thrown in jail cells a couple of times before. Once for putting poorly-made cardboard parking meters along the sidewalk on Main Street, and once for impersonating a dentist. It hadn't gone on his record, since Stan had been so young, but each time he'd come home bragging about how he was the toughest guy in the whole place, how he'd spent his time carving cigarettes out of the soap just so he could see the look on an officer's face when Stan pretended to smoke it. It made jail sound rather dull, a bit like the adult version of high school detention.
It wasn't.
The jail cell was well-lit and cold, with cement walls and floors, a stretched steel toilet with mysterious stains in one corner, metal bunks drilled into the wall opposite the door. There was a man in the cell, a hulk of a man in a bloody jacket sitting on the bottom bunk. His nails were thick and dirty and jagged.
The cop shoved Stan and Ford inside. The door clanged shut. Ford broke out in a cold sweat.
“D-don't we get a phone call?”
“Yeah you do. I'm gonna call your parents right now. Got your number memorized, thanks to him.” The cop nodded at Stan. “So sit tight and don't bother your babysitter.”
Ford swallowed hard. Ma was on the phone all the time. Which meant the police wouldn't get through for hours.
Thick Nails glanced up at them with eyes as ruthless as a cobra's. Ford shoved his hands behind his back.
Too late.
“'Srong with you, toothpick? You a freak?”
Ford pressed back against the wall and tried very hard to turn invisible. Stan crossed his arms and leaned back casually, like he was just waiting at the bus stop to pick up a hot girl. His arm pressed against Ford's.
Thick Nails narrowed his eyes and glanced at Stan. “What, he don't talk?”
“Sometimes. But I'm the one with the sultry voice.”
The man's lip curled. “You act cute with me again, you little punk, I'll beat the living daylights outta you.” He reached for his back pocket, took out a piece of a broken plastic knife, and began slowly cleaning his nails with it. Occasionally the broken edge of the plastic drew a thin line of blood.
“Stan,” Ford whispered. His brother's arm pressed slightly harder against his, just for a moment. Ford didn't say anything else.
They waited for hours. There was a window at the top of the cell, and Ford marked time, watching the small bars of light inch across the scratched-up floor. Eventually twilight fell, then utter darkness. Extra lights turned on in the hallway. No one came to bring them any dinner, not that Ford was hungry. Eight, nine, ten o' clock – and still their parents hadn't come. Ford tried to work on Fermat's Last Theorem, but the broken knife kept flashing in his eyes like a sliver of death.
It was four in the morning when an officer finally came to the door and opened it. Stan had slid down to the floor and fallen asleep, head tilted back; the clang of the door startled him awake.
“Whazzat?”
The officer jerked his head at them. “Moved it, Pines. Your ride's here.”
Ford glanced at Thick Nails on the way out. The broken knife had disappeared. He waved almost cheerfully as they left, but the look in Ford's eyes turned his stomach to ice. He was glad when the door locked tight behind them.
The officer led them back to the lobby. Filbrick was sitting in one of the chairs, his arms crossed.
“Took you long enough,” Stan grumbled.
“Told you to shut up,” the officer said, without heat. “Mr. Pines, your two boys here –”
“We didn't do anything!” Ford burst out. “Pops, listen, I invented a crane for the Stan O' War and Crampelter stole it there was evidence on his shoes when they arrested us Stan and I weren't anywhere near the wall when it was –”
“I know that.” Filbrick grunted.
“You – what?”
“We knew you didn't graffiti the wall,” the officer clarified. “Meathead here mostly commits crimes for profit or petty vengeance, not to improve the local aesthetics. Plus we checked Crampelter's story. There were holes in it the size of Texas. We told all this to your father over the phone.”
“When?”
“Oh...” He glanced at the clock. “'Round 5 PM?”
“Around what?!” Stan shouted, just as Ford demanded, “Why didn't you let us out of jail?!”
The officer shrugged. “We were going to. Mr. Pines asked that we hold you a little longer to teach you boys a lesson, and frankly, with Mr. Pyramid Scheme pulling pranks left and right, I thought it was a good idea. 'Sides, it wasn't a real arrest.”
“We. Were. In. Handcuffs!”
“We took 'em off.”
“Let's go,” Filbrick said, and before they could say another word he'd grabbed an arm on each of them and was dragging them out the door.
They drove home in silence. Ma was standing on the front porch, waiting for them, holding a mug of coffee in her hands.
“You boys alright?” she asked, as they walked up.
“Fine,” Stan snapped.
Ford didn't bother answering. He just stalked right past her and into the house. He heard her whispering furiously at Filbrick behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. They'd still been left in that cell for hours. For no reason!
Whatever. It didn't matter. He'd read some of Sagan's early works, or maybe Tesla's published papers, that always helped him calm down.
He reached his room, stepped inside – and stopped short.
The bookshelf, the one that held all his research, the science journals, everything, was completely and totally empty.
The world turned white. His ears roared. Then suddenly he was standing in the kitchen yelling at his father.
“Give me my books back! Where did you put them?! I'm asking you where you put them!”
Filbrick's dark glasses flashed. “Watch your tone, boy.”
“I paid for every single one of those books with my own pocket money! You don't have any right to take them! Do you have any idea what those books mean to me? What it's like to be stuck in a place where people devalue and humiliate me at the slightest whim and the only shred of proof that I'm worth something is taken away while you left us to rot in jail!?”
Filbrick grabbed the front of his shirt and shoved him. Ford didn't even realize Stan was in the room until he caught him, kept him from falling. Filbrick's bulk loomed in front of them like wall.
“Your stupid brain is what got you into this mess in the first place. I told you to get your head outta those books and man up. It's past time you started acting like a real Pines man. If you can't do that, then I'll do it for you.”
Ford wasn't sure what happened immediately after that. Only that his skin was cold and clammy, and there was something hard and metallic digging into his fingers. At some point he realized he'd left the house and was outside, checking through trash cans, his own, his neighbors', anything, working his way down the street. He must've been running at some point because his ankle was throbbing again.
Something touched his shoulder and he jumped, dropping the metal lid he was holding. It hit the ground with a clang.
“Easy,” Stan said.
Ford looked around. Nothing felt real. He wasn't even sure what street they were on. At least dropping the lid hadn't disturbed anyone; all the houses remained dark. He heard waves and turned. The beach – this was Main Street, close to the Boardwalk, still along the beach. Of course he'd stay along the beach.
Stan was calling him. Ford looked without seeing at his brother's face.
“C'mon, Sixer talk to me.”
“What is there to say.” Ford's voice sounded funny, sort of rubbery. “He destroyed my books, didn't he? He wouldn't just throw them away. They're gone.”
“We can get more, alright? Grab a winter jacket, hit the bookstore, bet I could fit ten books under each arm. Alright?”
Ford didn't bother explaining that some of those texts had taken years to find, that some of the journals he'd collected were out of print. That in a town where he was devalued, ridiculed, humiliated for the very things that made him himself, those texts had been the one shred of hope he'd had that there was a community where he would one day be acknowledged. That there was a future he could envision, where likeminded people would not only recognize him, but accept him. In one night, his trust in his father and, symbolically, his own future had been ruthlessly destroyed.
“...scaring me. Say something, please.”
“I can't forgive him for this.”
Ford didn't feel like he was talking. He couldn't really feel his mouth moving. Stanley's face came in and out of focus. He couldn't feel his hands.
Stan squeezed his shoulders, looking worried. “Listen, Sixer –”
“I mean it, Stanley. I will never, ever forgive him.”
A/N: I was in a dark place when I wrote this, bet ya can’t tell ahahahaaaaaaa *dies*
#forduary 2019#forduary 2019 week 3#week 3#forgiveness#filbrick pines#filbrick is a jerk#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#sixer#jail#crampelter#bully#stan and ford get framed#filbrick punishes ford#much angst
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