#and I saw that I still needed to do the quiz which was due in an hour

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

hi i’m that one person who was upset about a sonadow sex joke you made. let me preface by saying i’m not here to argue or scare you but to apologize.

you don’t have to respond to this at ALL i just saw your blog name and felt guilty for hurting you.

im sorry about upsetting you and reacting the way i did. i still think its eugh and everything. but i just get upset when people make jokes about that with characters previously stated to be minors because of personal trauma and people sexualizing me as a kid and just morals in general. of course i know that i can’t control how people enjoy their stuff, and i know it’s going to exist regardless. but i want to at least know if who im interacting with is someone i don’t want to talk to due to being a proshipper or whatever stuff like that.

i wasn’t trying to ‘cancel’ you or anything. i was upset and said something in the moment. i’m sorry. i should have just unfollowed and moved on. i should’ve saw the human i knew behind the screen but what i could only think of was a random person i didn’t know. i’m really sorry.

well, anon, i accept your apology. but also i dont. so let's take this one by one, okay?

first of all. you're still wrong, and i'm still angry.

it wasnt a "sex joke", i was commenting on a uquiz someone else made, because i found the sheer fact that sonadow of all ships was included in that quiz to be really funny. not to mention, the uquiz was based on statistics from ao3, and i guessed the correct answer by just knowing how shipping culture works. i thought this was funny. you know, people are allowed to find suggestive humor funny, even if you're uncomfortable with it, anon.

but i'll humor you. lets say i was doing the things i got accused of doing. big deal. i don't think you're wrong for being upset, much less for being uncomfortable, but one: could've settled this over dms, two: not everyone is you. not everyone is uncomfortable. not everyone cares so much. i didn't give that joke more than two seconds of thought, you clearly did, and i don't think you're wrong for that, i think it wasn't my problem.

secondly, and this will sound horrible, but (like i said) your discomfort isn't something i (the people running that oc poll, and my followers, by the way) needed to know about. i hear you, anon, and i'm sorry that all that happened to you. i understand the discomfort. but, like i said, we could've settled this in private, you could've at least told me which mutual you were, and no one else had to know.

third: i am not a proshipper, and i don't appreciate that you're still calling me gross, by the way. this isn't an apology if you're not accepting you were wrong. i'll humor you again and say that i was doing what you say i was doing: it is not that serious to me, and i don't like being called gross for something that is just plain, morally neutral weird (not good, not bad, neutral weird)

and fourth: thank you for at least recognizing what you should've done. however you didn't do that. from what i understand, based on what happened shortly after your anon, you went to the person running that sonic oc poll (which, whatever, i was losing anyway), and you lied about what i was doing to get me kicked out. good on you for realizing that was wrong. but you know, i'm still angry. im banned from many fandom events now because you couldn't just unfollow me. so i'm glad you realized it was wrong, i accept your apology, but i'm still very much angry with you.

i'm glad you're sorry, i'm glad you're recognizing i'm a human being (okay?) and i'm glad you at least tried to apologize. don't call me gross, apologize for real, and next time don't do this to someone through tumblr anon over whats essentially a common ocurrence on the sonic fandom, and every other fandom

(by the way, even if we weren't mutuals, you shouldnt do something like this to "a random person you don't know" either, but what do i know right? and "because of my trauma" isn't an excuse, because by that logic you also generated trauma in me, because now i'm fucking paranoid about everything i fucking post. i can thank you for that.)

have a nice day.

by the way

#asks #anon i beg you to leave me alone and get a better hobby

[booklin]

KBTBB High School Headcanons!

Eisuke - I’d say Eisuke probably had straight A’s without trying. He was every girl's crush at school. All of the teachers loved him, giving their best reviews on report cards. Though, didn't have many friends, despite talking to a school day’s worth of people. The people he did call friends were just those he believed would benefit him in the future. You know the anime, “Haven’t you heard? I’m Sakamoto” basically, he’s a kid who’s perfect. Always ten steps ahead, girls love him, guys respect him, teachers admire his grades, that type of thing. That’s Eisuke. He avoids conflict and is always a step ahead. Pop quiz? He knew about it a week before.

Soryu - When you first see him you think he’s a bully, which is attractive in a way. Turns out he’s just a quiet kid, though there’s definitely an abnormal strength about him. The person everyone fights to get on their team during gym class. Decent grades, probably would get a B in math if it weren’t for the teacher being scared of him. I can imagine him holding a lot of pain in, especially with his home life. Unapproachable, to say the least. Only has one or two friends at most but keeps everyone at arm's length. He’s, surprisingly, not the fighting type however I can see him getting into one fight if he saw a girl being bullied.

Shuichi - Him and Eisuke are constantly battling for top marks. Everytime one gets an A- the other mocks them for the entire week. Unlike Eisuke, Shuichi actually studies. Some could argue he doesn’t need too, but still does. His desk is always clean, and his notes are perfect. The teachers always entrust responsibilities to him. They even joke about having him as the principal when he’s older. Probably the type of kid that puts a lot of pressure on himself. That, and he just grew up having high expectations set on him. Doesn’t date. At all. He denies every girl that tries. Has been labeled as an “impossible catch”. Believes studies comes first and would break his concentration.

Ota - Ota is the popular kid. Everyone’s friends with him. He’s always hanging out with someone. One day it’s the drama club, the next it’s the art club. Did I mention the art teacher loves him? He doesn’t do the best academically, but his art teacher is so impressed, she offers to write a college recommendation letter. Again, everyone loves him. He’s the type of person a fight would break out over in the cafeteria, because everyone wants him at their table. Between him and Eisuke, the girls can’t decide who they want to date first.

Baba - Baba is the playboy all the girls warn each other about. At last, between his dashing smile and adoring personality, almost every girl has fallen for him once. People probably think he rides a motorcycle. He doesn’t, still, he gives off friends to lovers vibes. Despite his efforts, he always gets dumped due to his flirtatious nature. If anyone were to get pregnant during high school, the chances of him being the dad are 9/10. Quite responsible though. Takes accountability and helps his girlfriend through it. Supports her decision and promises to marry her, if that’s what she wants.

Mamoru - Mamoru is the kid who barely anyone knows. He sits next to you yet, if someone asked, you’d deny that he was in your class. He’s either not in class or sleeping/barely paying attention. They call him “Big Bromoru” because he acts like everyone’s big brother. “Shouldn’t you be doin your homework instead of talkin in the halls, eh?” Literally to random people in the hallway. Though, for some reason, it makes him admirable. No one dares say anything rude back, knowing they’d have the whole school as a target. He’s respected by all the kids there, even if he isn’t very noticeable.

#kbtbb eisuke #eisuke ichinomiya #kissed by the baddest bidder eisuke #kbtbb soryu #soryu oh #kbtbb ota #ota kisaki #kbtbb baba #baba mitsunari #kbtbb shuichi #shuichi hishikura #kbtbb mamoru #mamoru kishi #kissed by the baddest bidder fanfic #kbtbb fanfic #kbtbb #kbtbb headcanon #kissed by the baddest bidder #voltage games #voltage fanfic #voltage headcanon #voltage love 365 #love 365

[yardsards]

can i ask about your experience as a quaker (or growing up as one? i just saw you mention bein one in some tags)

i jus don't know much about them

so i was not raised quaker, i was raised baptist. which was. 0/10, do not recommend. all the guilt of catholicism with none of the stained glass lmaooo

like, i did resinate with the idea of there being some sort of higher power and i liked the idea of getting together with other believers to discuss spiritual matters but as i got older and started thinking for myself i realized i really didn't like a lot of things about the church. i hated the bigoted beliefs of its members. i hated the emphasis on blind obedience to authority. i didn't believe that the whole literal truth could be found within one book, specifically one group's interpretation of said book. and the idea that people were born inherently bad and sinful and that a supposedly kind and just god would condemn people to eternal suffering just for not believing the "right" things just did not sit well with me at all

when i went off to college i decided to try out a few different churches around town. i ended up settling on a progressive presbyterian church. the community was great and very accepting of queer people. i had some minor qualms with the theology but it wasn't like with my parents' church where every sermon made me feel increasingly nauseous, and i generally felt *good* during and after the services

and then covid hit and while they did stream their sermons, i lost that sense of community and just kinda... fell away

throughout all this i was researching different faiths online, both christian and non-christian. and one faith that kept popping up a lot that i liked the sound of was quakerism. like at one point i remember taking some online quiz of like "what religion do your values most align with" and quakerism was very in the lead. (before this, i'd only really been exposed to quakerism in history textbooks and assumed the religion died out alongside puritanism)

in the end what got me really interested was actually a video by a youtuber i liked, a queer/disability advocate and historical fashion enjoyer who also happened to be quaker

and after looking more into it, i decided to try attending a quaker meeting. which was easier due to covid cuz i could find a church online (located physically hundreds of miles from me) that did their sunday services over zoom

and so i attended and the people there were great and were doing actual good in their communities. and the way services were run, and their beliefs about what god *was* and all of that just hit me with an intense feeling of like. holy shit this is what i've always wanted from religion.

the video explains the sort of core beliefs and practices of quakerism better than i can but the main belief is that like. every person is godly. as such, it's our job to treat all living people as equally and kindly as possible. additionally, since we all have god inside of us, we need to look inwards and come to our own conclusions about our own religious beliefs and practices (and generally respect other people's religious beliefs even if they differ from our own, so long as they're not causing real tangible harm)

i haven't attended any meetings in a while, due to that group going back to semi in person (they still stream it out but it feels more like being a spectator than a member) and there being no quaker meetinghouses in the tiny town i currently live in, coinciding with me being too depressed to regularly attend anything. but i'm planning to start attending quaker meetings again once i move to a real city

#eliot posts #christianity cw #quakerism #tangentially: another faith that popped up a lot in my searches was reform judaism #from what i read it had a lot of the same things that i liked about quakerism. and was second place in that quiz i took lol #also my big sister was really interested in judaism when she was a teen (tho never converted) #bc our mother's side of the family is ashkenazi jewish but just ethnically not in practice. and my sis was interested in our roots #so i have a bit of a soft spot towards the faith because of her lol #but i decided i didn't wanna try and join any synagogues even online unless i was really serious about considering conversion #figured they didnt need a clueless gentile bargin in and being Confused and i felt too awkward to directly ask any individuals abt it #which was prolly like 20% a reasonable conclusion and 80% my anxious tendencies telling me i'm just a nuisance #but yeah lmao i think in a nearby parallel universe (if those exist) there's an eliot that converted to progressive judaism lol #long post

[uncharted-constellations]

Ur quiz really made me put into perspective that i tend to view dick as alot younger then comics/other people see him, juz like i only really saw him as roughly 6-8 years older then Jason at most lmaooo

To be fair, arguably it probably is in that range, but when i think of realistically how long a vigilante should run their careers for and the constant growth of the super community, i think (unless youre bruce wayne, the most controlling and self detrimental person ever,) most vigilantes probably retire in their late 30’s to mid 40’s depending on how hard their career is, and how much physical and emotional damage they’ve accrued. Some retire even earlier, and obviously some die.

Also I’m sort’ve using the general age of professional athletes. 20’s-30’s tends to be the prime era, and any time after that is a decline. When you’re fighting criminals every day you really want to know and be careful of your limits.

Anyways in terms of specific lore: Nightwing is his perma identity for me, its the one he personally chose to evolve off of robin, which was also His Idea, but its an identity that also has a lot of meaning for him with his connection to his family, and the super community as a whole.

While Dicks life changes every once and a while and he might pick up batman when needed, he doesnt need to move past that point. While he could potentially be a runner for batman, he’s already done it, and kinda proved that he didn’t need it, batman just needed him.

Also while Jason was obviously beaten to death, most of the wear and tear on his body was fixed by the pit. Meanwhile dicks probably got old acrobatic injuries going back to well before robin era, and hes also been shot in the head. I imagine his ability to really stay as a vigilante is cut short by that, so im considering him to be older in this sense as well.

Barb is probably a year or two older than dick, and still much younger than bruce but again, she doesnt really need to go past oracle. Both of her identities she really made for herself.

This is also just the batman beyond lurking in my head to be honest, but i think thats just a given when thinking batfam and future.

The reason i started the survey with Jason who is probably less than a decade younger than dick, and not say Tim who would probably really be considered the start of the second generation of the batfam, is mostly to due with jasons arcs.

It is mostly just a lack of consistent writing and dc not knowing what to do with him but i think a reoccuring theme with him is still not knowing how to orient himself in the world without going back on his beliefs or completely destroying his relationship with his family, (whether or not its worth it to try and keep that relationship, is not my place to say.)

I think the name Red Hood, while is very dramatic and interesting plot wise, is potentially not a name he would want to be stuck with for the rest of his vigilante career, especially since he chose it to be a volatile name that evokes the memories of the joker.

I think, both by the results so far, and the timeline itself, jason is probably not considered a main player in the sort of era this survey explores. But unless someone kills him he is gonna be around. He does not need to be able to do a backflip to shoot you. He could be 90 and still only be listed as semi-retired. Don’t fuck up this mans neighborhood

#surveys are fun lol #dick grayson #jason todd #exposition lmao #i have Thoughts #even if i havent read nearly as much dc comics as i shouldve #i am convinced that bruce has cte by the way #you cant convince me otherwise

[lawain-dimensional-heroes]

Maroon's Diary - training with Rin, part 2

Day 8 - The second week of Rin's training starting off with a lil quiz. Of course she wasn't looking forward to it. I am trying here-- I even turned this quiz into a multiple choice one where you just have to choose between A, B, C, etc. but even then she wasn't very focused on it! On the bright side, she at least faired better than the written tests, meaning she did learn. That's somewhat of a relief. What wasn't a relief was that I felt her body very slowly but surely increase in temperature. I thought it was a cold at first, but if I'm wrong the next day me might correct me on that.

Day 9 - Turns out her valves were already partly broken from going too hard using her powers during the song contest. It was partly my fault as I was the one who had control over those instead of her. But she wasn't fully out of blame here the moment we found out she hadn't put that collar on for a while. I scolded her heavily-- I somewhat felt bad for that, but even so she had taken a heavy risk and she could've risk her nightmare coming to fruition, burning her and her friends and her family to ashes without wanting to. Luckily, that was prevented as we straight up upgraded her valves. Don't tell her, but I also upgraded her entire aura channel system. She's now bedridden for the entire day, but at least she has a caring family now and Miku to help her out.

Day 10 - This was the first day she was training after I had to fix her valves and I'm honestly wondering if this is the same Rin that I danced with back in the singing competition. She used to be so carefree when it comes to training and now she's taking this seriously, more serious than before-- even did some genuine studying for once by reading the guide and she used to hate it. Did the issue from yesterday worry her to the point of taking it seriously?

Day 11 - We didn't do much that day as I saw that the whole situation from two days ago worried her. We went to go play games, to the amusement park and even went and grabbed some fast food over on our local fast food restaurant.

Day 12 - I'm really proud of her right now for this and I might be for a while, she seemed to have mastered controlling the output of her powers, which is good because she needs that fine control, which also means she's closer to being in full control. Although there's still one hurdle she has to overcome.

Day 13 - Almost a week ago she was struggling making a fireball. Now with some focus she was able to pull it off! Really, she's going so quick for a girl her age and as her brother and teacher I was very proud of her. Due to that, our training for the day finished shortly, though today wasn't without one concern. Even with her collar on, her temperature slowly rose and I checked and her system seems to be alright. We'll have to wait and see what the next day is for her, but I have small suspicion what that may be.

Day 14 - Her body's temperature increased a lot by then, she says she somehow was feeling a build up in pressure, but temperature wise she was feeling totally fine even though her body already was reaching over 100°C. Situation wise we're somewhat back to what it was 5 days ago-- kind of. It was a free day for her so I thought that she should take some time off in the pool. I told her in advance what she's about to go through, the final hurdle to control: her Overdrive that was slowly but surely making it's power known.

Update: 160°C

yet she's still was still very much comfortable. Today was likely the day her Overdrive activates. She'll probably pass out in a few seconds, having used up much of her reserves. But once that's done, her powers are then fully in control. Our training has yet to be over, but her concerns of her nightmare might as well be over.

#ic #prism dragon | maroon

[inkofamethyst]

October 6, 2022

Had a dream last night that I was diving with my family. There was a lot of anxiety because we were about to swim across a drop off. Like the one in Finding Nemo. I only saw the drop off from a distance, but I never went right up to it or across it. My parents did. My sister and I kept going back to the boat to check that our gear was secure. 

As someone who wants to be an academic, I sometimes wonder if I am the greatest achievement or biggest failure of the School System. People who consider the historical legacy of the industrial revolution often note that the true education aspect of school lies in its indoctrination of students into the ideas of hierarchy, rules, schedules, punishment, and rewards so they can become effective workers in the machine. And I latched on to everything in the school system so strongly that I don’t want to leave. On the other hand, one could argue that I’m far from becoming a cog in any machine that matters. Effectively without use beyond the world of academia. 

It’s so funny how I put due dates for readings on my semester calendar because like,,, if I’m not forced to do some sort of reading quiz (which, honestly, I’m probably in the minority here but I like (fair (as in not-overly-specific) and open-book) reading quizzes!  they’re an easy way to earn a few extra points as a grade buffer, especially if the book has a searchable pdf or if the answers are on quizlet which I would never ever ever ever ever use for this purpose of course i detest academic dishonesty with mostly every fiber of my being and they also serve to get you in the mindset for the upcoming class so you’re already thinking a little about the topics ahead) there’s a 70% chance I’m not even going to crack the book after the first week.  But every week I see my little semester due date calendar will be like “ohoho your devbio prof recommends you read 40 pages before Tuesday” (we’re only tested on in-lecture content) and “heyheyhey you’ve got 50 pages of archaeological theory to muddle through confusedly this week” (we get a summary of the concepts on Tuesday and a (relatively confusing) deep dive on Thursday handed to us and I could probably make my two essays based entirely on my notes and a few cherry-picked quotes) and “wowza 25 pages of popgen due this week” (I can’t control-F the book but the quizzes are fill-in-the-blank where the sentences are taken directly from the text and I can find them with a quick skim) and “lookie here there’s two sets of 50 pages of evobio due for the quizzes this week” (control-F) and “yoooo only 70 pages for ecoanth this week!  lookin pretty light!” (these ones I actually read to sound semi-intelligent in my discussion post but also the readings tend to be relatively approachable with a good skim) and it pains me a little (the absolute tiniest bit) to mark them as completed when I didn’t even give it a shot.  First-week-Nina was so hopeful.  

It’s not even that I don’t like to read because I do.  When I decided to do bioanth I started reading a literal textbook on it.  I don’t mind nonfiction, I just don’t want to do unnecessary supplemental work if I can get all the content I need in lecture.  I haven’t the inclination to work through 300+ nonfiction pages in a week.

Didn’t get a response to the cold email I sent today which sucks because it’s throwing my contact schedule all out of wack again.  Ugh.

Today I’m thankful that I’m all set to TA this winter for the first time!  Not sure if there’ll be 10 or 20 hours of work each week, but it’s still exciting!  Hopefully I’ll also be able to do it for the same class in the Spring.  Also thankful for the A- on my evobio exam.  I really do not want to take that final.

[indigodreames]

due to bell’s high IQ and getting a major head start in school, she never had friends her own age, or it was difficult for her to make friends. since her peers were much older than her, they often saw her as just a kid and wouldn’t bother to approach her.

though, those that did would often use her for help with a project or assignment or studying on a quiz, test, or exam because she was so smart.

bell and leo have been close since practically at birth. while bell’s family wasn’t exactly rich like leo’s, their mothers knew each other through college and stayed close. so it was only natural that their children would know one another.

however, since it was difficult for bell to make friends her own age, the only person she really had was leo. at first leo didn’t like how clingy bell was, but they eventually became close and inseparable.

when bell first met her now ex-husband, he was constantly jealous of her relationship with leo. and even after they married he’d nag her to not spend so much time with him or be overly affectionate with him, which she shot down right away. even if he was her husband at the time, leo was like family to her and she wouldn’t have any of his petty jealous nagging and he’d just have to put up with it because leo wasn’t going anywhere.

well or so she thought. when leo left to travel it was hard on bell because she was going through all of the stuff with her infertility and the rockiness of her crumbling marriage.

she still did exchange letters with leo while he was traveling and she was happy that her best friend was finding his passion in life.

when she took a year off to figure out where her life was going after she divorced, she ended up going to the village where leo was teaching and stayed with him for a few months. seeing how passionate he was about teaching made her realize she needed to get back to doing what she loved too.

once leo came back and told her he wanted to go back to school and become a teacher, she was 100% there to help and support him through it all.

after bell settles into teaching at the college level, she realizes just how much she loves it. she’s only ever taught younger children, and when she tried high school level she didn’t like it so much. but once she started teaching early childhood education, it really started to feel like everything was falling into place for her.

bell absolutely adores all of her students ! she is the type of professor to get close with her students, it helps that they are relatively around her age range. but she loves connecting with her students. not only helping them with classes, but with just life in general.

she’s 100% the type of professor you can email, call or text about anything and she will always answer you and help you out anyway that she can.

bell is very difficult to ship with, at least romantically. after her divorce and finding out she can’t have children, it’s extremely difficult for her to be open about relationships and getting close with people. not to say it isn’t possible, but it will just take a lot of time for her to connect with someone enough to even want to feel like she’s ready to be in a relationship with someone, especially if she has to broach to topic about children since she’s still very sensitive about it.

in her thirties and forties, i can see coming to terms with never being able to have children of her own, and possibly adopting or wanting to adopt a child or two. and maybe even helping volunteer at elementary schools to help with children because she does really miss being around younger children. and while she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to teach at that age level again, she’ll still want to be around younger children from time to time.

#。‧ * ‧: ✧ ┊ there’s always a glimmer in those who have been through the dark ⊱ ◜sarai panyarachun◞ #i love my best girl #and her friendship with leo is everything okay i love them <33 #。‧ * ‧: ✧ ┊ wake queue up i'm fever dreaming ⊱ ◜q◞ #。‧ * ‧: ✧ ┊ the mind is a river you cannot solve ⊱ ◜headcanons◞

[baekhvuns]

Answering you early, cause I'll be gone later and miss OT8 anniversary live </3

Ateez puppy or kitten interview when, because I need this but in person

It's not easy being and Exo-l 😭 one of my besties is an OG fan and she's in the state of suffering mdudushyshdgjshs but I remember when Minho, Onew and Key were gone some antis said Shinee won't be back and they're gonna disband I- 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I'm so confused because I saw this I know, not valid info, but there's no official discharge date info I think... if he's back next month I'll eat my walls ❤

Just like Armys suddenly caring about military because their faves are going (some literally admitted to only caring about BTS - imagine telling on yourself like that wow) whereas there are 18 year old boys in the military being absolutely ruined mentally and physically. Also if someone isn't fit for the active service why send them away to be social workers, please it makes no sense 😭 Though I think for people like Donghun and Sehyoon from A.C.E it must be a nice break (they're both during social work due to their mental health issues and my boy Donghun is so active on Insta, I was dramatic at first but for no reason lmao his enjoying his life)

Uh why did that Armchair invent a scenario and got heated over it 🤨

Me too, I gave up on Choi San... Itaewon class haircut you're right 😭 speaking of pink I miss pink San too

Imagine being someone like me who likes to collect paper and buys their magazines, rip. Now the maknae got his first solo cover I'm so happy. So Ateez solo covers WHEN

I like this channel their vids are funny and relaxing. Also them because they make so many different toasts and as a toastie stan I need more ideas that are easy to veganise. And my friend from Hong Kong who always sends me new vegan products because damn HK is killing it with their vegan meat replacements, sent me this guy's cooking book. I wish my food looked so aesthetically pleasing

That dragon plot is like every cat boy story I saw ksydishshskdsbdggs except having a cat is normal, a dragon??? Not so much

I applaud you for starting so many fics and still managing to finish some of them. Take your time, but I know Yunho's Hotcheeks are thirsty 😅 and I'm so sorry why do some of you here hate happiness, please smile a little, life is painful enough don't write sad endings 😭 put angst in the story, but spare us with the final part...

I did not expect THAT photo of San I thought you were gonna send something disrespectful 🙈

Right, Jongho is actually good, but ngl I miss his early dancing days, now he needs to belt so he doesn't always go as hard or is just standing on the side, but I think many people don't see him as a good enough dancer which is a shame. Yeosang's footwork too, he's very precise something not many people notice as well!

Remember the -core quiz where I got cryptidcore... the description said I'm in love with the Mothman 👀 so "soulmates - okay socially anxious introvert, how's the extreme desire to find the love of your life without having to put in effort? (writing this as if im not the exact same)" I'm sorry but that's not me at all, let me retake it lol. I changed 3 answers and got forbidden love, slightly better hahaha

I'm wheezing

Hey uhm what the fuck is going on here and here

I love him but I hate him 🤧🥺 he wants everyone to be delulu af, maybe he's the biggest delulu after all, or the biggest tease 🙄 - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Answering you early, cause I'll be gone later and miss OT8 anniversary live </3

i completely missed it <3

Ateez puppy or kitten interview when, because I need this but in person

EXACTLY I NEED HWA TO CRADLE THE DOG RIGHT NOW !!!! i just know mingi would adopt one

It's not easy being and Exo-l 😭 one of my besties is an OG fan and she's in the state of suffering mdudushyshdgjshs but I remember when Minho, Onew and Key were gone some antis said Shinee won't be back and they're gonna disband I- 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I'm so confused because I saw this I know, not valid info, but there's no official discharge date info I think... if he's back next month I'll eat my walls ❤

LMFAOOOO SUFFERING 24/7 😭😭😭 RUMORS OF A OT9 CB 😭😭🤚🏼🤚🏼 no omg they be spreading rumours about disbandment every 2 secs but if u do the same to their faves it was war 🔫🔫 FBWMDHWK EAT UR WALLS FJKQJDKWNDKQ

Just like Armys suddenly caring about military because their faves are going (some literally admitted to only caring about BTS - imagine telling on yourself like that wow) whereas there are 18 year old boys in the military being absolutely ruined mentally and physically. Also if someone isn't fit for the active service why send them away to be social workers, please it makes no sense 😭 Though I think for people like Donghun and Sehyoon from A.C.E it must be a nice break (they're both during social work due to their mental health issues and my boy Donghun is so active on Insta, I was dramatic at first but for no reason lmao his enjoying his life)

no bc why they shaming those who already went to military 😭😭😭 what difference is that gonna make 😭😭 NAURR UR SO RIGHT ABOUT THAT 18YO ONES i have a few friends around my age going to enlistment and theyre all scared shitless bc it’s so brutal😭😭🤚🏼 but also considering sk’s history it is important for them to go bc they can be at w@r and they need ppl trained on hand,, THE SOCIAL WORKER ENLISTMENT BEING LONGER THAN THE REGULAR ONE JUST GRRRRRRR

Uh why did that Armchair invent a scenario and got heated over it 🤨

EXACTLY 😭😭😭 it’s so embarrassing pls just have a deep breathe and relax pls 😭🤚🏼

Me too, I gave up on Choi San... Itaewon class haircut you're right 😭 speaking of pink I miss pink San too

DBWNDJWK HE LOOKED CUTE WITH IT BUT THE ITAEWON HAIRCUT DID NOT SUIT HIM MF WAS DEBUTING PRE-MILITARY 😭😭😭

Imagine being someone like me who likes to collect paper and buys their magazines, rip. Now the maknae got his first solo cover I'm so happy. So Ateez solo covers WHEN

JDHSK EXACTLY WHEN !!!!! need to see more of hwa being a whore in magazines bc this one was absolutely insane and we need more,, need them to do something like these

yunho in this id die

I like this channel their vids are funny and relaxing. Also them because they make so many different toasts and as a toastie stan I need more ideas that are easy to veganise. And my friend from Hong Kong who always sends me new vegan products because damn HK is killing it with their vegan meat replacements, sent me this guy's cooking book. I wish my food looked so aesthetically pleasing

omg im about to binge thru these right now gtfo,,, STOP THE TOASTS LOOK SO DELICIOUSO 😮‍💨😮‍💨 yooo??? really?? i know a lot of places use soya as a meat replacer and istg it be tasting just like the real deal 🤚🏼🤚🏼 i watch and! the try guys without a recipe thing,, no like its crazy how pretty their food looks but whej i try it, it looks like something gordon ramsay would disgrace me for

That dragon plot is like every cat boy story I saw ksydishshskdsbdggs except having a cat is normal, a dragon??? Not so much

NO BC ITS INTERESTING AS HELL I WILL PUT THIS IN MY MIND BC THATS A ROMCOM I WANNA SEE

I applaud you for starting so many fics and still managing to finish some of them. Take your time, but I know Yunho's Hotcheeks are thirsty 😅 and I'm so sorry why do some of you here hate happiness, please smile a little, life is painful enough don't write sad endings 😭 put angst in the story, but spare us with the final part...

😭😭😭 I CANT SEEM TO FINISH ANY FIC THATS NOT SEONGHWAS FBWNDWJ LMFAOOOO BESTIE THE SECOND HALF OF UR MESSAGE MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH I WAS AT A PARTY AND IT WAS QUIET AND THEN I LAUGHED DURING IT 😭😭😭🤚🏼 “why do some of u hate happiness” BFMQBDWK <3 I MAY HAVE TO WRITE ONE FOR YUNHOS!

I did not expect THAT photo of San I thought you were gonna send something disrespectful 🙈

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 HES SO FUNNY FVNWHDKW I KEEP CRYING LAUGHING OVER HIS CHILDHOOD PHOTOS 😭😭 THIS MAN LOOKS LIKE A PROFESSOR 😭😭

Right, Jongho is actually good, but ngl I miss his early dancing days, now he needs to belt so he doesn't always go as hard or is just standing on the side, but I think many people don't see him as a good enough dancer which is a shame. Yeosang's footwork too, he's very precise something not many people notice as well!

he’s that one meme where everyone’s dancing and that one member is standing still belting out f sharps 😭😭 TRUE !!! TRUE !!!! many just see him as a vocalist but this man dances so well PLS DHKWHD YEOSANG’s FOOTWORK IS INSANE makes him so much more hotter!

Remember the -core quiz where I got cryptidcore... the description said I'm in love with the Mothman 👀 so "soulmates - okay socially anxious introvert, how's the extreme desire to find the love of your life without having to put in effort? (writing this as if im not the exact same)" I'm sorry but that's not me at all, let me retake it lol. I changed 3 answers and got forbidden love, slightly better hahaha

OH?? ARE U PERHAPS CONFESSING UR LOVE FOR ME FJWKFKWK SOULMATES ONE KINDA MATCHES NGL! 👁👁 oh forbidden love?? bodyguard au am i hearing 👀 i got this! BENWBDS

maybe it’s a sign

I'm wheezing /// Hey uhm what the fuck is going on here and here

MUSIC FOR THE PUSSY FBWJDHW PLS ….what’s going on here 🤨

I love him but I hate him 🤧🥺 he wants everyone to be delulu af, maybe he's the biggest delulu after all, or the biggest tease 🙄 - DV 💖

i feel the exact same,, sometimes i don’t even wanna look at this man BC I KNOW ID GO CRAZY 😭😭😭 need to meet this man fr fr one day 😭🤚🏼 HE WANTS EVERYONE TO BE HIS DELULU HES PRACTICED FBDB

😭😭😭😭

???

also???? mr choi???

🙂🙂

also omg purple kiss’s vocals 😮‍💨🤌🏼

oh and a new one!

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

[aesthetic-productivity]

September 10, 2022

Good afternoon guys!!

I am finally back, Sat. 10, after a long week. It was a very stressful and harsh week. I feel like I have failed in all aspects this week. In other words, I feel like I have worked and worked but have gotten no information retained. Let me explain why I am feeling like this:

• Monday September 5, 2022: Labor Day! Meaning I had no class and no teacher expected us to be working because we deserved a rest time. I decided I should just rest and not worry about anything as I KNEW I would have a hard study week. I told myself I had already worked so hard enough that I just needed a rest.

• Tuesday September 6, 2022: A regular school day (my class online + 2 in person) where I did my best to learn and obtain enough information. I also decided I could go ahead and start my Chemistry assignment for the week to study for my exam on Thursday.

• Wednesday September 7, 2022: I went out on a coffee date with my friend🫶🏼☕️ and we studied together for our chemistry exam. *by study I mean we worked on our assignment and tried to teach ourselves the content as we didn’t understand anything from class time* Then I went home and decided to keep working on the assignment and get through more sections. I also studied a LITTLE bit for Psychology by using some quizzez she had prepared for us. I went through them a couple of times to retain the information a bit more.

Thursday September 8, 2022: Exam and Quiz day…🫤🫥 This is the Day…THE DAY THAT TOOK ME OUT…it was like those memes that are like “that’s when she knew she ….**” you get the point. Here was how I knew things were going to get bad. First I told myself I would review my Chemistry ch. 1-3 notes and assignments to try to see if I remembered most of the info. Yeah no that didn’t quite happen. I woke up 1 hour late!!!! I was supposed to get up at 6:30 am but I got up at 7:30 am😓. I only had an hour to study☹️ I told myself “you’ll be fine you got this”. When I tell you I got into the class and saw the paper my mind went blank. I started telling myself “this is what you get for not punishing yourself more.” After a couple, I told myself “keep going, if you get some answers wrong it is okay; try finding an answer or make your own process and keep it going. Having something is always better than nothing.” After the exam I was completely drained. Which was also not a good sign as I had psychology quiz left. I went back home and tried to study for psychology. Like I said I went over her quizzez and tried to learn as much as I could, but when I SAW THAT QUIZ!!! My mind forgot everything…sadly I did tell myself “girl you just failed yourself.” Here is my thing, I know for a fact I didn’t put enough effort into Psychology because I didn’t think I needed too. I thought this class would be easy and I wouldn’t have to take notes or anything. Clearly I was wrong and it is frustrating that I can’t return or go back in time to fix my error. I wish I could’ve put enough or even more effort. This way I wouldn’t have thought I got two L’s in one day.😔☹️ Then again this wasn’t the end of my day. I went home disappointed thinking how could I let this happen. I told myself I needed a break so I went to the field, which then I remembered I had a homework assignment due for chemistry. It was the same assignment I had been working on for 3-4 days straight! 🙁 I got back home at 9:00 pm and started to work my butt off as I still had 4-5 sections left. The assignment would shut off at 11:55 pm. I only didn’t finish one section which I was okay with because I had been through a lot already. I wish I could’ve done it all, but at least I got a 90+++ on the assignment. It was just annoying to have to do more after that morning. I just went to bed after so exhausted…

•Friday September 9, 2022: The day after the stressful day… I woke up relieved? I would say that is the perfect word. I realized I didn’t have to study and worry about looking at an exam or quiz. Everything was over for now. Til whenever I get another exam or quiz. I decided to just relax and take some time for me. I made sure to just do one assignment and let myself have a movie night. Everything was relaxing. I needed the rest. Like a set back you know?☕️🧖🏼‍♀️

I’ll give more updates on my other post!* all in all for this post: I wanted to give an example that not every week will be the week. There will be positive weeks and negative weeks. Just always make sure to give your best. Even if you were like me who felt like I wasn’t getting anything out of it 🙁 always remember that you are human 🫶🏼 we have mental breakdowns and we can’t always be at a 100% but at least we try✨☕️

[miraculouslyoverrated]

If they were doing online classes, I feel Marinette would be one of those people who knows ahead of time when assignments are due, has it planned out what days she’s gonna work on them, but then gets distracted by everything else in her life and remembers to do it like an hour to half an hour before it’s due

#I’m definitely projecting here as that’s what happened to me today #had a quiz due #which I finished and got full marks on ✌️ #but I completely forgot it existed until I checked to see when my next assignment is due #and I saw that I still needed to do the quiz which was due in an hour #had to watch a video on a Bali sacred dance ritual #which was pretty cool but that witch costumed scared the f outta me it’s gonna haunt me #but yeah I feel like Marinette would be the same way #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #mlb #ml

[study-coffee-chicago]

Self-Care (A Jay Halstead + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: I hope you enjoy this one! Thank you for reading and remember to reblog and comment!

Enjoy!

God, you hated college. Well, it wasn't college you hated exactly, it was more your schedule you hated. You worked two jobs, one at a coffee shop during the week and another at a group home on the weekends. You were also taking a full course load and needed time to do homework.

For the past two weeks, you had been getting tension headaches due to all the stress. You always made sure to get your assignments done in your time between classes on the few days of the week that you were stuck at school because you had blocked your classes. And, you loved when you had to work the night shift at the group home on the weekends because you didn't do much except paperwork, clean, and check on the kids to make sure they were sleeping, and this meant that you probably worked one to two hours during an eight-hour shift and used the rest of your shift to cram in all your homework for the next week so you weren't drowning in it by Tuesday.

Today was one of those nights.

You had gotten all of your stuff done for work, and were currently sitting at one of the tables doing homework. You had finished up reading a few chapters in your psych textbook, so you moved on to your Spanish homework. Your stupid professor gave assigned homework (not just reading the textbook) and it was all random definitions of people, places, and things. And, to make matters worse, some of those words weren't even in the assigned chapters, so you had to go hunting on the internet for them! And then, he gave you a pop quiz every class before he even lectured over the topic.

Yeah, you didn't do so good on those. But hey, your grade was still an A-, but you knew you needed to start studying for these stupid quizzes if you wanted to keep that grade.

So, you logged into the website you used for school and saw that the homework for the week wasn't there yet.

The first one was due by Tuesday and the other was due by Thursday. But, you needed to get both of them done now. You didn't have time the rest of the week. Fieldwork Monday, work and classes Tuesday, work and classes Wednesday... etc.

At least next week is spring break.

But, that still didn't help the fact that you needed to get this Spanish homework done now because you'd be sleeping late tomorrow and making food for lunches for the week and and and...

You felt tears sting your eyes and quickly shook your head, trying to keep them at bay.

Everything would be fine.

But if you didn't do this homework, then you'd have to do it between classes on Tuesday, which meant you wouldn't be able to study for the pop quiz that day, which meant that you'd fail that pop quiz, which meant that your grade would go down, which meant that--

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you told your coworker, Tamara.

"Okay, I'll be here," she responded.

You used your keys to let yourself out of your groups' unit and then down the hallway and into the staff bathroom. Then, you closed and locked the door.

You looked in the mirror. Your lip quivered.

You looked utterly exhausted...well, more than you normally did on your second night shift in a row. You thanked God that you started needing glasses this year because at least they hid the bags under your eyes because you had stopped wearing makeup. You didn't have time to put on makeup and frankly, you didn't care. It was just one more thing to remember and sometimes, it would make you break out and get acne if you were too hot and started sweating while wearing it.

You leaned over the sink and took a deep breath, but it came out more like a sob.

You had one more week of school and then you worked next weekend, and then you had the week off of school, but still had to work your other job during the week, but then you got that next weekend off. Or, did you get next weekend off and not the weekend after?

Fuck, the days and nights were all just starting to blend together at this point.

Before you knew it, tears of stress and exhaustion started running down your face.

You pulled out your phone and checked the time. It'd been ten minutes. You must've been lost in your thoughts for longer than you thought. You needed to get out of here before--

"Y/N? You okay in there?" you heard Tamara ask as she softly knocked on the door.

"Y-Yeah," you stuttered and sniffled. "Be right out."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

You quickly blew your nose, wiped your face with a wet piece of paper towel (even though you knew that wouldn't make your bloodshot eyes go away), washed your hands, and left the bathroom. Then, you went back inside your unit.

"Nothing crazy happened while I checked on you," Tamara started. "I had Jen from across the hall come over here real quick and- Y/N, are you okay? You look like you've been crying." She quickly walked over to you.

"No, it's just allergies," you lied.

She put her hand on her hip. She had dealt with manipulative girls in this line of work for over twenty years, so she could spot your lie from a mile away. She tilted her head to the side.

"Now, I'm not gonna force you to tell me, but what's going on? You looked exhausted last night, too. And it wasn't just normal night shift exhaustion."

You sighed. You weren't getting out of this one.

"School and work and I just feel like I don't have time for anything anymore," you admitted. "But I just have to get through this week and next weekend and then I'm off--"

"Take next weekend off."

"What? Tamara, I can't do that."

"Yes, you can. I'm working with you next weekend and I've worked plenty of nights all by myself in all my years here."

"What about Ms.--"

"I'll talk to Ms. Mari," Tamara said. Ms. Mari was the home supervisor for your unit and had been here longer than you had been alive, hell longer than Jay had even been alive. "She'll understand. You can't do this job if you're not taking care of yourself."

"But, I--"

"No buts. It's fine. One thing you learn in this job is that the rate of burnout for day shift is high. Us overnighters, we don't have that as much. You work all shifts, so when you're with those girls, you need to be on the ball. And hey, if missing two overnight shifts helps with that, then I'm happy to work by myself next weekend." She looked around. "Better yet, it's only three hours until the end of shift, you've done everything you needed to do, and it's been a quiet night. Go home, Y/N. Get some rest."

"It's only three hours. I can make it," you protested.

"Y/N, go home. I don't need to get a call tomorrow saying you got in a car accident because you fell asleep at the wheel going home at the time we typically get off. Go home and sleep."

At that point, tears started forming in your eyes again. You needed to hear that.

"Thank you. Can I give you a hug?"

"Of course," she answered, and then the two of you hugged. "And, don't worry about talking Ms. Mari. I'll talk to her and if she has any questions, she'll email you."

"Thank you so much."

You put your homework in your backpack and then put on your coat and left.

Now at least you'd be going to sleep three hours earlier, so you could wake up earlier and get that stupid Spanish homework done.

So much for taking a break. But, you figured going to bed at 5 am was better for your body than going to bed at 8 am, so you took it.

***

Jay woke up at 7 am. He groaned. Typical, he thought. This was sleeping in for him. He wished he could sleep like you, at any time during the day, whether it was day or night or light or dark out.

He glanced over beside him where Hailey was sleeping. She had spent the night last night and he figured he'd let her sleep.

He got up and started to the kitchen. He needed coffee.

When he glanced out the window, he saw your car, which was weird. He knew you had literally gotten off your shift three minutes ago, so there was no way you could be home by now.

His brain went to the worst-case scenario first, which was that you had gotten sick at work and got sent home.

He filled a glass with water--he figured if you were sick that he'd need to make sure you stayed hydrated--and then made his way to your bedroom. He gently knocked on the door and, since he didn't hear you respond, he pushed open your door to see that you were totally asleep.

Jay weighed his options. The first was that he could just leave the water on your bedside table and leave you to sleep and tell him if you were sick later. The second was to wake you up now and ask if you were sick.

He knew that you were 21 and knew how to handle yourself if you were sick, and he figured that if it were an emergency you would've called him from work or woke him up when you had first gotten home. He knew he shouldn't wake you up, but his overprotective side came creeping in, so he placed his hand on your shoulder and whispered your name.

You groaned. "Hmm, what?" you asked and reached your arms above your head to stretch.

"Why are you home so early?" Jay asked. "It's only 7:00."

"Tell you later. Let me sleep." You rolled over so you weren't facing him.

"Are you sick? You didn't get fired, did you?" he asked worriedly...and there was a twinge of accusation in the second question.

"No, they overscheduled me," you lied. "Lemme sleep."

Jay knew you were lying, but he also knew that sleep was important, and when your internal clock was messed up from working all different shifts, there was no such thing as too much sleep. His years in the army and working time-sensitive cases in the Intelligence Unit had taught him that...if only his body would listen and sleep past seven in the morning like yours did.

"Okay," Jay said. "We'll talk later." He wanted to talk now, but he knew if you were this tired, you'd be grouchy and just dodge his questions. It was still too early for that. "Brought you some water if you need it."

And then he left your room so that you could sleep.

***

"What are you doing up so early?" Hailey asked when you walked into the kitchen around 10 am. "Didn't you just go to bed like two hours ago?"

You shook your head. "Got sent home. Scheduling issue. I went to bed around five." You poured yourself a cup of coffee from the pot and put two pieces of bread in the toaster. "I'm gonna get some homework done," you said.

"Scheduling issue, huh?" she asked. "I thought they would've caught that before you went in."

"Yeah, me too," you lied. "But, what can you do, right?"

Hailey looked you straight in the eye and cocked an eyebrow. "Y/N, I know you think you're a good liar, but you're not. What happened?"

"Like I said, scheduling issue," you lied again. "That's it. I promise."

Your toast popped up and you took it out of the toaster and started slathering it with peanut butter.

"Morning," Jay said as he two entered the kitchen.

You internally groaned. If Hailey thought you were lying, Jay knew you were lying.

"Morning," you said and stirred some creamer into your coffee. "Gonna go get some homework done."

"Hey, me and Hailey are getting pastries. Wanna come?" Jay asked.

Hailey looked confused, but then quickly recovered. She knew what her boyfriend was doing.

The weather was finally starting to turn into spring and Jay knew you loved lazy Sunday mornings at the small cafe two blocks away. Typically, he'd bring a book and you'd bring your homework, and you'd stay there for an hour while you sipped coffee and ate a pastry and did homework. It was your ideal morning and he knew it.

"No," you said. "I already made breakfast. And, you'd have to wait for me to wash my face and stuff."

"That's no big deal," Jay said.

"No, it's fine. You two make it a date this morning."

"Are you sure?" Hailey asked.

"Positive," you confirmed and then made your way to your bedroom to start on your homework.

"Something's up with her," Jay said to Hailey.

"Oh, yeah," Hailey agreed.

***

You wanted to scream. You had taken a break from studying for an hour and scrolled through Tik Tok. You wanted something to snack on. So, once you found a recipe for these giant chocolate chip cookies, you decided that's what you were going to make.

Everything was okay except for when you went upstairs and couldn't find any vegetable shortening. You were playing calming music and focusing on relaxing while swaying around in the kitchen (basically trying to calm down from studying and stress) and then you couldn't find the vegetable shortening. You looked everywhere, the baking cupboard, the pantry, hell, even the fridge, and you couldn't find any.

You swore you had seen a tub of it on the second shelf of the baking cupboard a few days ago. You knew you did. And, you knew you always had it because some of the recipes that were passed down from your mom to Jay (and then to you) used vegetable shortening, so Jay was always sure to keep some in the house. And, it was rare you ran out all at once because Jay typically bought it in bulk because it was cheaper.

"Okay, okay," you said to yourself. "I can just use extra butter. It's fine."

You grabbed all your ingredients and then looked at the recipes.

"No! I don't wanna use the mixer!" you cried. "It takes too long to wash and this is gonna take so long and I don't have time for it. I just want cookies!"

You sunk to the floor and leaned against some of the kitchen cabinets. You put your head in your hands and started to sob. You had so much to do: make food for this week, plan out this week, finish homework, work tomorrow...

And this is how Jay and Hailey found you.

"Whoa, whoa!" Jay said as he quickly set down the latte and the pastry he had gotten for you on the counter and crouched down in front of you. "What's wrong? What happened?"

You sniffled and looked up at him. "I just wanted to make cookies, but I don't have time! I don't have time for anything anymore, Jay! I can't do this anymore!"

"What can't you do anymore?" Jay asked.

"School, work, homework! It's too much I- I--" You felt like you couldn't breathe. Your chest was getting tight and you still wanted to cry out.

"Y/N, Y/N, I need you to look at me, okay?" you nodded as your breathing escalated rapidly. "Match my breathing. I need you to breathe with me." You nodded again and tried to match his breathing. You couldn't. "Y/N, you need to slow your breathing, or else it'll get worse."

"I- I'm try- trying," you argued.

"Jay, can I try something?" Hailey asked and crouched down in front of you as well.

"Yes, please," Jay said and moved out of the way.

"Y/N, I'm gonna squeeze your hand, okay?" you nodded. "When I squeeze, I want you to breathe in, and the next time I squeeze, I want you to breathe out when I squeeze again. Is that okay? Can you do that?"

You nodded again and she squeezed your hand. You breathed in, waited a few seconds, she squeezed again, you breathed out...and repeated this for about three minutes until your breathing was back to normal.

"I don't know what's happening," you admitted as you were still sitting on the kitchen floor.

"Do you wanna talk in the living room?" Jay suggested. "Maybe drink your coffee while at it? We grabbed you coffee and a turnover with Nutella inside."

You nodded and made your way over to the couch. You grabbed the throw blanket which hung over the back of the couch and wrapped it around yourself.

Jay handed you your coffee and pastry. You took a sip of your coffee. "Thanks," you said.

"You're welcome." He shot a look to Hailey. "Is it okay if Hailey stays in here or do you want her to go to another room?"

You shook your head. "She can stay. I trust her."

"Okay. So, what's going on, kiddo?" Jay rarely called you kiddo anymore. He only did that when he was trying to comfort you.

You shrugged. "I dunno. I think it's just stress. I feel like I don't have any time to breathe anymore. I'm either working, at school, studying, sleeping, or commuting."

"Is that why you came home from work early?" Jay asked.

"How did you know?" you asked as you looked him straight in the eyes.

"Whenever you lie, you do this little smirk thing, and you did it when you told me this morning and when you told me and Hailey before we left. So, what happened at work?"

"You're gonna think I'm stupid. I haven't had a breakdown like the ones I've had today since junior year of high school."

"We won't think you're stupid," Hailey said. "We just want to help you. And we can't help you if we don't know what's going on."

"She's right," Jay agreed.

"I had a mental breakdown at work," you admitted. A few tears slipped down your cheeks. You weren't supposed to be breaking down at work, but you did anyway. "I needed to do my Spanish homework and it wasn't up yet and I just, lost it I guess. I didn't know when I was gonna get it done if I didn't do it at work. And then I went to the bathroom and I just broke I guess."

"So, you came home early?" Jay asked.

"Well, Tamara basically forced me to go home early because if something happened with the girls, well, I probably wasn't in the right headspace to handle it, to be honest." You took a deep breath. Now it was time to tell Jay you weren't working next weekend. He might be mad. He was a stickler for hard work. "And I'm not working next weekend."

"What? Why?"

"Tamara said she could handle it. And, she said I looked like I needed the time off. I'm sorry! There wasn't anything I could do to talk her out of it and I can see if I can pick up extra shifts at the coffee shop or—"

"Y/N, you don't need to pick up any extra shifts," Jay said gently and placed his hand on your shoulder. "If your coworker noticed it, then I should've noticed it. I'm sorry I didn't stop you from working so much."

"You are?"

He nodded. "You don't think I've noticed you constantly complaining about headaches these past few weeks and taking ibuprofen day and night?" You shook your head. You honestly didn't think he had noticed. "Well, I did. And, I think you need a break. Now."

"But, I can't! I have homework and classes Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I have fieldwork and work tomorrow. I work—"

"Y/N, it won't be this week, but this weekend." He turned to Hailey. "I know we said this long weekend that we took furlough for was just for us to celebrate our one-year anniversary as a couple, but do you mind if Y/N tags along?"

Hailey laughed. "And you ask me in front of her? I can't say no now!" She said sarcastically and laughed. "Of course, I don't mind. We can get face masks and do mani-pedis, something I can't do if it's just me and your brother."

"So, what do you say, kiddo? Wanna go up to the cabin with us this weekend?"

"That sounds amazing."

***

Four days later, Thursday

"With traffic and stops for food and gas and bathrooms and going to the grocery store," Jay started when you got into the passenger seat of his truck, "we'll probably get up there around midnight."

"Okay." You turned to look in the backseat at Hailey. "I'm really sorry, Hailey. If you wanna switch halfway up, so you can sit in the front seat, we can--"

"Don't worry about it," she said with a quick wave of her hand. "You get car sick and I don't. I'll be fine in the back. You don't have to worry about me."

"You are slowly becoming my favorite sibling," you said, causing Hailey to laugh and Jay to give you an offended look.

"Hey! I was the one who offered to let you come!" Jay protested. "And, she's not even your sister!"

"Well, with the way you two look at each other, she'll probably be my sister-in-law sooner rather than later."

Jay rolled his eyes and backed out of the driveway.

"Can we listen to High School Musical songs?" you asked. "Please?"

Jay groaned and handed you his phone, which he had quickly unlocked. "This is gonna be a long car ride."

***

"Y/N, Y/N, wake up," Jay whispered and shook your shoulder.

"Mhm," you muttered and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. "We at the cabin?"

"Uh-huh," Jay confirmed. "You knocked out after two hours. We figured we'd let you sleep, so your food's inside."

"Okay. What'd you get me?"

"Classic beef and cheddar, mozzarella sticks, and a chocolate shake from Arby's."

"Mhm, I love you."

Jay laughed. You were definitely still half asleep. "Alright, wake up and get inside so you don't fall asleep again."

"Uh-huh." You slipped your shoes back on which you had taken off after an hour into the drive and then grabbed your backpack and your duffle bag from the backseat and then made your way inside the cabin.

"Good nap?" Hailey asked when you walked in.

"Yeah. Some of the best sleep I ever got."

"It's because she had Dramamine before we left so she wouldn't get nauseous," Jay said as he walked inside behind you.

"Yeah, that really helped." You paused and looked around. "Did you call Mr. Brown to have him check for mice? Because if you didn't--?"

"I did. Don't worry," Jay reassured you. "No mice at all. We are good."

"Oh thank God. I wouldn't be able to sleep if he didn't check before we got up here."

Jay laughed. "I know. Do you want me to push the two twin beds together upstairs in the loft for you?"

"Yes, please," you answered.

"You just eat dinner before you fall asleep again," Jay said.

"Okay."

And then, twenty minutes later, you were sitting in your bed upstairs in the loft, reading a book by the light of a lamp near your bed, and finishing off your chocolate shake.

It was a great start to your spring break.

***

When you woke up the next day, the sun was shining through the windows. It was nice to not have to wake up when it was dark out for school or to work when it was dark out and then sleep when it was light out. You grabbed your phone to check the time and were shocked to see that it was noon! You had slept for twelve straight hours plus the time you had slept while Jay was driving up here.

You figured you should probably go downstairs so that Jay and Hailey didn't think you were dead.

You walked downstairs to see the two of them snuggling on the couch.

"Y'all better have pants on underneath that blanket. I swear to God Jay if I see anything--"

Hailey cut you off by laughing. "Nope. We're both fully clothed."

She threw the blanket off the two of them to show you that they were still very much in their pajamas.

"Hey!" Jay protested and threw the blanket back over top of them. "I was warm!"

She rubbed his cheek. "Such a big baby," she said in a baby voice.

You snorted. "Are you guys like this every morning?"

"Nope, because typically Jay's crazy and works out before the sun is up on weekdays," Hailey answered.

"At least I don't work out at night."

"Hey! It's relaxing!" Hailey protested. "Plus, I value my sleep."

"Amen to that," you agreed. "I can't believe I slept for twelve hours straight."

"Jay was about to go up there and check that you were still breathing, but I convinced him not to wake you up."

"What is up with both of you ganging up on me? She's only been up for like two minutes and I'm already being thrown under the bus!" Jay laughed.

You rolled your eyes. "It's because us girls have to stick together. What are we doing today? Because I know that Jay isn't one to sit around all day."

"I was thinking we could go hiking. And relax, it's short," he added.

"How short is short?"

"Mile and a half (2400m) each way."

"Okay, that's doable I guess. But if I see a snake, I'm gonna kill you."

***

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" Jay laughed as you walked up the steps and back into the cabin.

"Well, I saw a snake, so I had a heart attack!" you yelled back.

You had the best idea to avoid a snake, or at least make sure Jay and Hailey saw it first. Jay and Hailey were about a foot in front of you and Jay was on the left of you and Hailey was on the right of you. You thought it was the perfect plan.

That was until a snake decided to slither right in front of you as you were walking, right behind Jay and Hailey, but in front of you. You're pretty sure that was the loudest you had ever screamed. And then, you held on to Jay's arm for at least the next quarter of a mile (400m).

"I'm never doing that hike again. I'm never doing that hike again," you said as you went into the loft and changed your pants. (There was some mud on the trail, so your pants had gotten muddy.)

You walked downstairs to see that Hailey was in a bikini. And she also had two packets with facemasks in them, two wine glasses, and a bottle of moscato.

"What'cha doin'?" you asked.

"We are going to put on facemasks, sit in the hot tub, and drink wine," Hailey answered.

"I didn't think Jay filled up the hot tub," you said. You hadn't brought a swimsuit because of that.

She furrowed her eyebrows. "He told me he did. Babe?"

"Yeah?" he yelled back from the kitchen.

"Did you tell Y/N that you were filling up the hot tub?"

"Shit," he cursed. "I forgot. Did you bring a swimsuit, Y/N?"

"No, I didn't." You paused and mentally went through what you had packed. "But, I have a pair of spandex and a sports bra, so that'll work. I'll go change."

"Great!" Hailey exclaimed. "Jay's making sandwiches so we can eat those before we go in the hot tub."

"They're ready now!"

"I'll eat before I change," you said.

You, Hailey, and Jay ate your lunch and then you went and changed and you and Hailey put on your facemasks.

"Babe, you want one?" Hailey asked. "I brought more than two you know."

Jay laughed and shook his head. "Nah, you two have a bit of girl time without me. I gotta prep dinner anyway."

"Prep? Jay it's--"

"You're making Mom's brisket?"

Jay smiled. "I am," he confirmed.

Your eyes started to fill with tears, but you quickly blinked them back so that they wouldn't run down your cheeks and ruin your face mask.

"Am I missing something?" Hailey asked.

"Our mom," Jay started, "well, she'd always make brisket for dinner for our first full day up here. And, I figured we should keep it going tonight."

"And then we'd always make s'mores by the campfire," you added.

"Which is what we'll be having for dessert," Jay said.

You smiled. "Thank you," you said.

"For what?" Jay asked.

"For letting me tag along. Thank you, both of you. I really needed this."

"You know I'll always look out for you."

"And I will, too," Hailey added. "You're like the little sister I never had. Now c'mon, before these facemasks stick to our faces because they dried on us!"

All three of you laughed and you and Hailey started out onto the back deck and towards the hot tub. But, you didn't get a chance to shut the slider door before Jay yelled, "Don't drink too much wine!"

Yeah, he'd always look out for you.

A/N: I hope you liked this! Thank you for over 91k reads! And please remember to reblog and comment! And, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you! Up next is an imagine based on the most recent ep of PD (9x15)!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #halstead sister #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fanfic #chicago pd fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfic #jay halstead fanfiction #halstead sister imagine #writer #writing #my writing #user.sky

[soobasaur]

buzzfeed said i like-like you..

— a lee felix x au

(half felix pov half y/n pov)

lee felix x gender!neutral reader genre: best friends to lovers

a/n: this is mainly in felix’s pov since i thought it would fit better, the next felix au will be in y/n’s pov (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ and if you have any requests just ask away and i’ll try my best <3

« masterlist

felix was currently very calm!! c a l m!!

certainly not panicking, nope not him!

it started when he flopped onto his bed in defeat after giving up on his art history essay

he could only analyze medieval paintings for so long >:((

so he ended up clicking on his folder of bookmarks and scrolling for the buzzfeed quiz one

dont judge him it was very relaxing !!

he did a couple weird ones like ‘what type of bread are you?’ (he was a challah bread apparently?!) and ‘what is your horror movie death scene?’ (he was going to be murdered!!)

he started clicking on the recommended ones until he landed on the romance section

he usually ignored these since they were typically very boring but just for the sake of it he chose one titled ‘are you in love with your best friend?

he scoffed as he let the quiz load and his mind wandered off to you

you and felix had met in grade school due to the both of you being the new kids and immediately being stuck together since no other kids wanted anything to do with you

and every since then you had been glued to the hip

he loved you sure, but being in love with you? he didn’t think he was.. he wouldn’t be opposed to it though

‘do you think your best friend is beautiful?’

obviously!! felix thought, choosing said option, how could he not? u were the most ethereal person he had ever been blessed to see, other then himself of course

‘when you get into arguments, are you reluctant to apologize and end it quickly or wait for them to apologize first?’

felix had to think about this one

you both didn’t rlly fight, it was usually over stupid things like the both of you needing to take care of yourselves more and such

but felix found himself apologizing more since he knew you were too stubborn to make the first move even if you wanted to

and whenever he did apologize you always broke down and did the same

he chose ‘i apologize first to get it over with’

‘do you often cuddle and kiss your best friend?’

doesnt everyone? felix thought, hovering his cursor over ‘duh!’

he often gave you cheek kisses and pulled you into hugs whenever he saw you, even if you were always shy and flustered afterwards

he thought it was cute to see you like that

and you often fell asleep in his bed during movie nights and the both of you woke up tangled into one another

now that he thought about it he didn’t really kiss his other best friends, he shuddered at the thought

‘would you get jealous if someone else were to kiss your best friend?’

felix frowned at the mere thought of someone else kissing you

only he could give you cheek kisses goddamnit !!

he wouldn’t be mad if jisung got kisses from someone else though, he’d be happy his friend had found a partner

but if you found a partner...he didn’t know how to feel about that

it would fall between wanting you to be happy and he should be making you happy

he quickly filled out the question and moved on, that was too much for him

the rest of the questions were things like ‘do you know their favorite color?’ ‘do you have their birthday memorized?’ (yes to both!)

he clicked done and waited for his old laptop to boot up the results

oh...O H

WTF ?/$:&:@;

felix squinted at screen once more before pulling up a google tab

he went through multiple wikihow articles before just shutting down his laptop and taking his head into his hands

did he have a crush on you??? weren’t crushes supposed to give you butterflies and shit?

well...he did get butterflies whenever you complimented him,,,

oh shit he did have a crush on you

he dove headfirst into his pillow and kicked his legs before sitting up, coming to a conclusion

he couldn’t just hold this vital piece of information to himself!!

and that’s how felix found himself in front of your dorm building, freezing in nothing but basketball shorts and a hoodie he was pretty sure he stole from you

felix came barreling towards you, picking you up in a hug despite his tiny size

once he finally stopped spinning you and set you down was when you have him a confused look

“your welcome over whenever but why the sudden visit at 3am?” you ask, leading felix towards your dorm room

“fun news!! i realized i’m in love with you, thanks to a buzzfeed quiz!” he answered, doing jazz hands as you locked the dorm door behind you

“you’re...what now?” questioning if you heard right, ignoring your heart beat thumping loudly against your chest

“yeah like, i’m in love with you and realized it just now so i came here to tell you and-,”

/!&:@:@;@;@@, you were malfunctioning

how was?? felix so?? casual?? about this??

u had known you were in love with him since like /forever/ aND THIS MF JUST REALIZED A MINUTE AGO??

and you told him so, stalking towards him and reaching him in just two strides, shaking his shoulders

“what took you so long oh my god-,”

“wait does this mean you feel the same? cus if not it’s cool we can be homies ahah-,”

you did the cliche thing where you shut him up with a kiss

it made him go ∴◠‿◠∴

“we are not homies-,”

“we’re homies with benefits!”

*deep sigh*

from then on your relationship didn’t change that much

you were just best friends who know kissed one another and made out

bonus: headcanons

felix took on a new routine of coming over to your place at the ass crack of dawn

it drove you mad but you never slept anyways so you always opened the door

which was why felix came over in the first place!! to seduce you into a healthy sleeping schedule ;)

“y/n you would look so good tucked into your covers, all warm and cuddly as i hug you close-,”

“are you really trying to seduce me into sleeping right now??”

“...well is it working?” felix winked

“...maybe.”

(side note felix’s morning voice was to die for so if staying up late got felix to come over then that was another excuse for you to not sleep)

and since he was a dance major you always bought him bouquets and gifts after every single showcase

one time you got him a bunch of red roses and when you guys went back to his place he stuck one in his mouth and pulled you into a slow dance

it didn’t last very long though cus a thorn was left on the stem and caught his lip and you ended up having to help stop the bleeding

he still gave you a smile throughout it all though

“you look so creepy smiling with a mouthful of blood-,”

which made him smile even bigger

college with your best friend was fun but was even more fun with your boyfriend

the two of you often went on double dates with your friends jeongin and jisung, who recently got together, and had a blast going to parties

felix was a clingy drunk

if you thought he was clingy before just you wait

he would latch onto your arm like a koala and let you drag him around

and he would back hug you as you walked around

it was endearing though so you always let him get away with it

but if felix got too much to drink all hell broke loose

you still have flashbacks to that one time he started stripping on the pool table

you got a nice sight of his abs but so did everyone else !!

felix was willing to do anything with you and vice versa

if you even had the smallest inconvenience he was there to help

like that one time your coffee wouldn’t come out of the vending machine he karate kicked it until it did, and dragging you to run away when he spotted a hall monitor walking towards you

all in all he made you happy

it was perfect :’)

thank you for reading !!

#lee felix #yongbok #lee felix imagines #felix x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #lee felix x reader #yongbok x reader #lee yongbok #lee yongbok x reader #felix au #lee felix au #stray kids au #stray kids best friends to lovers

[hxt1b]

As Long As I’m Here

Masterlist 

Taeyong x Reader 

Genre: Angst, CollegeAU (Hockey Player Taeyong)

Words: 5.7K

Warnings: Mature Themes (Mentions of Drunk Driving and Death. Sex.)

Accompanying Story: Isn’t It Lovely All Alone (Yuta)

A/N: I really hope you guys like this one. Please let me know what you think, it really means a lot to hear feedback from you guys. I also apologize about any grammatical errors, I did my best but some may have slipped through. Again, thank you for reading, I hope you guys like it. Ps. You guys don’t have to read the accompanying story to read this. This can be read as a stand alone!

“You were once told that guardian angels existed. You were sure yours brought you him.”

Smile, wave. Smile, head nod. Smile, say hi. They did it all, you were tired of it all. People would see you but no one wanted to get to know you. You were the silent girl in the corner of the class that no one gave a shit about. No one cared that one day you had the happiest life and the next it was crumbled at your feet. A dead limp hand crushing every sense of normalcy you had. Destroying any little hope you had in one wrong turn. 

Scowling at the ground you kept your eyes away from those smiles, you made your way to your first class of the day. As each day passed by you began to regret this class more and more. She had been the one to pick it. Her obsession with him had been what had driven her to want to be in this class roping you along in the process. 

“He’s bound to be in sports medicine.” She’d said to you in the summer while you had made your schedules. You’d just laughed at her, but you agreed. You always agreed. 

Now she was gone, laying six feet under the ground in a cold grave and you were the one stuck in this class. Having to see their faces every day, they laughed and talked to each other loudly in class. You didn’t blame them, but you did. 

The classroom was empty when you got to it. Which made sense you were early. You went to the back corner of the room and took your seat. As a fourth-year class, it was small only about a hundred kids in the class. Putting your bag down you pulled out your laptop getting ready for the class. 

They came in laughing, they were always laughing, you leaned your head onto your hand and looked out the window keeping your gaze away from them. Slowly the classroom filled up and the professor entered last. You actually liked the prof she was younger than all the other profs you had, and she was easy to talk to, she understood the pressure university put on you and accounted for the fact that each kid had a lot more on their plate and suited her syllabus to that, too bad you just simply hated her class. 

“I’ve graded your quizzes I will be handing them back at the end of today’s class. Speaking of which, today's class will be only half our regular time -” You tuned her out as she continued not caring to pay attention any longer. You watched the breeze outside the window as it made the trees dance, the green leaves giving way to the oranges and reds of autumn your mind drifting off to all the places you try to forget, to all the memories you won’t relive and all the memories you’ll never make. 

“Okay, that’s it. Come up to my desk and grab your quiz from me as you go.” You slowly began to pack in no rush to be anywhere particular, your empty apartment was waiting for you nothing else anyway. 

You rose from your seat swinging your bag on and making your way to the front of the classroom. The professor looked at you as you walked up to her and fished your quiz out from the pile handing it to you with a small smile of pity. You weren’t shocked when you turned the quiz around and looked at the thirty-four percent at the top of the sheet. Shrugging you turned away from her desk bumping straight into a hard shoulder. Somehow, he managed to knock your quiz out of your hand. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” Taeyong said. You rolled your eyes and quickly bent to grab your quiz. You ignored him as you straightened up and pushed past him making sure you didn’t look at him. Taeyong. You hated that name so much; your feelings were beyond your grasp. They always tunnelled into a monumental force that you could never reign in. 

Making your way out of the classroom you decided to go to the library instead of back to your apartment. You didn’t have any other class today but going back to the silence of your apartment seemed like torture you weren’t ready for. 

The heat in the library never seemed to work, but you didn’t mind the cold helped to numb your brain while you read. You made your way to the corner of the library that was home to the books that weren’t about academics. Dumping your bag down in a corner on the floor you made your way through the shelves looking for something to read. Something to take your mind away from the bitter anger that you constantly stayed in. Finding the book you wanted, you head back to your spot and sank into the ground next to your bag and opened the book. 

You heard them like usual before you saw them. Their loud whispers carrying through the air to you accompanied by their footfalls as they neared. You didn’t look up you didn’t need to, you knew they’d ignore you and you were fine with it. After a little bit, you couldn’t hear them anymore, getting sucked into your book you ignored the world around you, your mind falling into the faraway world of the book. 

“Hey, can I sit here?” You were startled when the voice harshly pulled you out from your head and back to the real world. Lifting your head from your book you looked up. He was standing there with a soft smile on his face. His friends were gone. 

Taeyong, Yuta, Johnny, they were always together, and you hated them all. You couldn’t help the words that fell out of your mouth.  

“Did your friends ditch you or something? Go find them to sit with.” You quickly turned your head back to your book staring at the words on the page, but he didn’t move and you couldn’t read. The words morphed together on the page as the seconds ticked by before you looked back up at him. A slow laugh floated out his lips as you met his eyes. 

“They did in fact leave me. They had a meeting for some class that they're in.” He was still smiling his smile more amused than before. 

“You still can’t sit here.” You replied. 

“Well,” He started and looked around, “I guess I’ll just sit over there then.” 

He moved about five steps to your right and dumped his bag down taking a seat beside it and pulling out his laptop. You frowned in his direction glaring at him slightly before returning to your book trying your best to read and ignore the imposing boy near you. 

You didn’t turn the page before he spoke again. 

“Do you have a pen I could borrow?” You glared at him again before rolling your eyes and digging into your bag to grab an extra pen. You lightly threw it in his direction before going back to reading. Or at least trying to. 

He cleared his throat again a couple of minutes later grabbing your attention, “Uh so do you have sticky notes?” You sighed deeply moving towards your backpack again to grab a pad of sticky notes and chucking it at him. The silence lasted about fifteen minutes before he spoke again. 

“Do you -”

“No.” 

         The next morning you didn’t leave your apartment, you didn’t want to your brain was too weighed down to move out of your bed. You wasted away the morning falling in and out of sleep. At two pm your mom called, you sighed answering the phone. Her cheery tone coming in through the speaker asking you how your day was. You lied telling her about how you had a good day, making your tone much happier than you felt. You told her a false story about how great you did on your quiz for the sports medicine class and she cheered for you telling you to keep up the great work. 

When she hung up you felt the tears prick at your eyes. Closing them as they stung you took large breaths to calm yourself down before forcing yourself out of bed. You dragged your feet into the bathroom and took a quick shower before getting dressed in warm layers of clothing and made you way out of your apartment. You made your way to the café two blocks away from your home. The warm ambiance of the café welcoming you in as you sniffled from the cold. 

“Hey, wow you come to this café too?” His voice slammed into you as your eyes widened. You looked to your left from where his voice came. Taeyong was sitting at a table with his laptop open in front of him, an empty coffee cup pushed away from him and a half-eaten piece of cake. 

“Looks like it.” You replied flatly before moving towards the line. Pulling your wallet out of your pocket you pulled out your card. You didn’t need to look at the menu you already knew what you wanted. 

“What are you gonna get?” He was behind you. 

“Didn’t you already order?” You asked in return glancing at him over your shoulder. 

“I – uh well, yeah.” You turned your head back towards the front. “But I wanted another drink.” 

You ignored him the rest of the time that you stood in line. When it was your turn you ordered a coffee and chocolate chip muffin. 

“Anything else?” The barista asked smiling at you. 

“Oh yeah, an iced americano as well please,” Taeyong said cutting you off before you could speak. The girl behind the counter didn’t bat an eye as she punched that in and then told you the total. You were staring at Taeyong with your mouth slightly open due to the shock that you felt. You narrowed your eyes at him and moved to pay, you were again cut off by him as he moved his card over the machine. 

“I got this.” He said and smiled at you. You didn’t smile back. 

“Well thank you I guess.” You said and moved out of the way so that the next person could order. 

The both of you stood beside each other silently as you waited for your order to be done, your drink came out first followed by your muffin. You moved to grab them but Taeyong scooped them up before you could. 

“Uh-”

“I’m just gonna take them to our table. Grab my drink when it gets out.” You scowled at his back as he turned away from you and went back to his seat. His drink came out not even seconds later. You thanked the barista and made your way over to his table. Putting his drink down in front of him you made to grab for your stuff and leave. 

“Whoa, where are you going?” He asked grabbing your wrist as you grabbed for the muffin. “I bought it, come on the least you can do is sit with me.” You stared at him for a second, finally properly looking at him. His big eyes were looking up at you expectantly, his lips formed into a small pout. You sighed and wiggled your wrist out of his. This was the hockey team’s captain? His pout gave way to a large smile as you took the seat from across him. He closed his laptop as you got comfortable in front of him. 

You took him in as you took a sip of your coffee, his dark hair was died a blue so dark you thought it was black, and his skin was smooth. It made you jealous just looking at him a hockey player had no business looking this…beautiful.

“You’re staring at me.” He said snapping you out of your daze. 

“Why am I sitting with you?” You asked in turn ignoring the fact that you had indeed been staring at him. 

“Why not?” He asked in turn, “It’s better than sitting alone isn’t it?” 

You stared at him again, he took a sip from his straw you watched as his throat worked, swallowing the drink. You didn’t say anything in reply. He was right it was better than sitting alone, but he and his friends were a reminder of what you had lost. 

The rest of your time was spent with him talking and asking you questions about your day, you told him the same story you told your mom. 

        The next day you had the sports medicine class again. Your alarm went off and today you got out of your bed not wanting to repeat yesterday. You dragged yourself up and got ready for the day. 

The class was the same as always, you not paying attention as the prof spoke about whatever topic. When the class ended you didn’t pack slowly, today you packed quickly to get out of the room before Taeyong decided he wanted to talk to you again. 

You rushed out of the classroom, and out the building, you were halfway down the stairs when your ankle rolled and you plummeted down the five stairs left. Your hand slammed into the ground hard and your foot ached. Luckily you didn’t slam your head into the ground. 

Groaning you moved slowly to get up, grabbing the railing you heaved yourself up by using the hand that hadn’t been hurt. You took large breaths as you finally came to stand. People around you ignored you walking by you as you clung to the railing trying to not cry at the pain. 

“Are you okay?” He was there staring down at you with a worried expression on his face. You couldn’t look at him for longer than a couple of seconds. Why was he all of a sudden everywhere? Why was he always around you? He didn’t even know you.  

He came down the steps taking in how you were standing, noticing the water gathering in your eyes. 

“Did you fall?” He asked. You only looked down letting your hair fall around your face. You didn’t need this from him. You didn’t need him to hound you, you didn’t need him to buy you coffee, you didn’t need him to sit with you in the library. You didn’t need his pity. 

“Leave me alone Taeyong.” He didn’t reply and you didn’t look up. But he didn’t move away from you. 

“Let me help you home.” You closed your eyes pain rolling up your foot as you put it flat on the ground. 

“I’m fine I can make it myself. Just – just go away.” You moved off the railing talking a slow and painful step away from him. You couldn’t help but limp. 

“You’re clearly not fine. Just let me help you.” He said grabbing your arm as you took another painfully slow step. 

“Look I don’t need your pity.” You snapped at him yanking your arm out of his hand. He was silent for a second before he laughed. Snapping your head towards him again you frowned. 

“You think I pity you?” Even though he laughed you could see that the statement bothered him. His eyes weren’t shining the way they always did when he spoke. “I don’t pity you Y/N. Some people can just be nice to others without having an underlying reason.” 

You still frowned at him, but you let him take your bag. You let him wrap his arm around your waist as you wrapped yours around his shoulder and you told him how to get to your apartment.

For the rest of the week, he checked on you, making sure your foot was getting better, taking you anywhere you wanted to go. He kept you company and for the first time in a long while you felt less lonely.      

        Loud knocks pulled you away from the Netflix show you were watching. You knew it was Taeyong, only because no one else came to your apartment.    

“You know I’m fine now. You don’t have to keep coming over.” You stated while pulling open the door. He laughed pushing past you. He put the takeout he brought onto your coffee table making himself comfortable on your couch. 

“Maybe I just like you.” He spoke. Your breath stopped for a second. Like you. You turned away from him to lock the door. You willed your face to calm down as you turned back around, not having anything to say back to what he said. You made your way back to the couch and sat beside him. He passed you cutlery as he unpacked the food. You tried not to stare at him as he sat across from you on the couch and ate. Periodically stealing a glance, you tried your best to not be obvious. Halfway through the show that you had started, you stole another glance at him, only to find him already looking at you. 

“You're cute you know that?” The words that he said didn’t register in your head. He leaned to the side of his hand getting closer to you. “The way you keep glancing at me thinking I’m not noticing.” Your breath hitched in your throat when he leaned further towards his other hand moving onto your thigh. 

“I’m going to kiss you Y/N.” His face a centimetre away from yours. You didn’t stop him. 

You didn’t stop him when that kiss turned from a simple kiss to something more. When his hands travelled under your shirt, into your pants. You didn’t stop when he guided your hand to him when he pushed himself into you. You didn’t stop yourself from letting his name roll off your tongue as the world split in two. You didn’t stop him when he pulled you close to him after whispering into your ear how perfect you were. 

“I like you Y/N.” He said again as you drifted off in his arms, your head pressed into his chest. You didn’t stop yourself when your heart melted at his words. When your brain said them back to him. But you stopped yourself when the words made their way to your lips. You stopped yourself then. 

You wanted to blame him still. You wanted to blame him and his friends still. But every day that he spoke to you, every day that he went out of his way to find you. You realized you couldn’t because he started coming with you to the library every Monday. He went to the café with you on Tuesday. On Wednesday he’d walk you home. On Thursday he’d bring over dinner to your apartment after his practice, and Friday to Saturday he was busy with hockey, so you didn’t see him. But each day that passed you realized he was not to blame, he was a kind-hearted boy who chose to see the good in the world, and for some reason, he was forcing his way into your life, into your heart. You found yourself looking forward to the moments that Taeyong would come and find you. To the moments where he would text you or call you at night to see how you were. He saw you, you realized, and he stayed. He stayed even though you were a mess. Even though you would snap at him, even though you didn’t deserve him. He stayed, he showed up. And slowly you were faced with the fact staring blankly in your face that you couldn’t blame anyone but yourself. Because despite everything you didn’t show up that day. 

“Come on Y/N, Yuta will be there, and he actually invited us himself,” Ara begged. You just shook your head at her. 

“I can’t today. I’m not feeling it.” You stayed seated on the couch as she tugged on your arm, a laugh erupting from you at her childish antics. 

“But you’re my best friend in the whole wide world I need you there with me!” Her expression was desperate, it made you laugh even more. 

“Sorry Ara, but I don’t feel like it. I’ll go next time though. If he invited, you once he’ll invite you again.” You reasoned. She stopped tugging on you and sighed obviously annoyed but letting you go. 

“Okay fine.” 

You passed out on the couch and woke hours later. Seven missed calls from Ara, and then a missed call from an unknown number only a couple of minutes ago. Confused you called Ara back, but she didn’t answer. Worry etched away at your stomach as you tried again, Again no answer. 

The unknown number called again. You gripped the counter to not fall over as shock ran through your body your mind being taken over by a loud ringing you couldn’t understand what the voice on the line was saying any more just that she was gone. 

You were pulled out of your head as your phone started to ring in your hand. Taeyong. You were sitting alone in your living room in the dark, your eyes glued to the phone as you tried to push away the dark thoughts that entered your head. The call ended the screen going black and a sense of urgency ripped through you a panic that rattled around your insides. Unlocking your phone quickly, you called him back. 

“Hey.” He chirped through the phone. 

“Are you okay?” It spilled out of your mouth before you could stop it. You sounded winded and frantic. 

“Yeah,” His word was slow, “Y/N are you okay?” he asked in turn. You froze. No. 

“Yes.” If you’d been awake and answered maybe she’d have answered just the way he did. 

But you let her die. You didn’t go with her. Then you fell asleep and didn’t answer her call. She got into the car with a drunk idiot and died. You could have stopped it. If you had answered right away maybe she would have replied just like he did. With a happy ‘hey.’ 

“Y/N?” His voice tugged at you again, pulling you back to him and away from your own mind. “Are you there?” 

“Yes, what did you say?” 

“Did you wanna come out for a drink with me and the guys?” 

“Yes.” 

        You didn’t understand why he was being so kind. You hadn’t done anything to deserve the kindness that he was just giving you. He was making sure you didn’t feel uncomfortable with his friends. In the time that you two had been hanging out he’d learned so much about you and you were realizing it only just today. He knew what drink you wanted and had it for you before you even got there. He let you sit on the outside of the bench in the booth because he knew you’d hate it on the inside. He gathered so much information about you in the time and you knew what? Nothing.  

“So, you’re the girl that’s been keeping our captain busy for the past month and a half.” Johnny teased you once everyone had settled into their spots. You smiled at him red painting your cheeks. Taeyong pulled you into his side shooting Johnny a warning glare that you noticed. 

You sat with them as they spoke about their upcoming game schedule. As they commented on the games that appeared on the screens all around the bar. You spoke only when they asked you a question or when you had a question yourself. You’d direct it to Taeyong, and he’d answer back softly explaining whatever thing you’d asked him about the sport he played. Slowly it became too much, you looked at the boys around you at the table, at their laughing faces and you realized you didn’t fit in here. You didn’t fit into his world. You didn’t fit into anyone’s world, you barely fit into your own. You didn’t deserve to sit at this table, not with the laughter that floated around you. You couldn’t help but feel that there was a laugh missing. This was what Ara had wanted so bad. To sit at a table with them. to sit next to the boy sitting right in front of you, she’d wanted to be tucked under his arm just as you were tucked under Taeyong’s. 

“I have to go.” You said and abruptly got up, shocking them into an abrupt silence as you ran out the bar and down the street. Tears began to run down your cheeks, and you tried to get far away from them, far away from him. 

“Y/N!” You didn’t look back, but you knew he was following you; you couldn’t take it. You didn’t deserve to sit with them, you didn’t deserve to be with him. Not when this was what she’d wanted. Not when she should have been here with you. With them. 

He caught your wrist spinning you around to face him, but you didn’t look at him, you turned your head to the side biting your lip as tears ran down your face still. 

“Let me go Taeyong.” You said your voice small and shaking. His grip on your wrist only tightened. 

“No.” 

A sob threatened to rip out your mouth. You closed your eyes and took in slow breaths. 

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” He said and pulled you closer to him. 

“I – I can’t -” It was getting hard to breathe as you buried your head into his chest. He wrapped his arm around you holding you tight as you silently cried. Pulling away only slightly when you calmed down a little bit, he looked at your red face. Your eyes were swollen and your lips cracked. You looked like a mess, runny nose and all. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” He spoke. You stared back up at him, you took in the way his gentle eyes looked at you the way his hair blew in the autumn wind, the way his ears were tinted red from the cold. You couldn’t help yourself you pushed up on your feet and pressed your lips against his. He instantly replied, his mouth moving against yours. His hands tightening on the fabric of your jacket. You kissed him until you couldn’t breathe again until every breathe you had felt like his. Until you couldn’t take anymore. You didn’t deserve him. 

Pulling away from him you pushed him away from you. 

“I can’t do this. I can’t -” You couldn’t finish your sentence. You ran away from him again. He yelled your name again into the night air, but you didn’t look back didn’t look to see if he was following. You ran, ran until your lungs were gasping for breath until your throat was so dry that you couldn’t swallow your own spit. Until your legs gave out and you fell onto the grass gasping for air. 

This was how your life had been, this is what you deserved.

        The following week you didn’t go to school, you didn’t answer any of his calls. He came to your door every day and you ignored him. You barely ate and slept. You didn’t even make it to the shower most days. I deserve this. You’d tell yourself over and over in your head. Until there were no other thoughts but those three words drowning you. 

It was Monday, and he’d had enough. You could tell because the banging at your door was so loud that you could feel it in your head. You’d just gotten out of the shower and had gotten back into bed. Pulling the covers over your head. Slowly you got out of bed and made your way to the door. He wasn’t going to leave today. You could tell. You opened the locks and then the door. 

The lights in the hallway were so bright they made him look ethereal. He was in a black bomber jacket paired with jeans. His nose and ears were red from the cold again. You squinted up at him. You watched his pained eyes take you in, the dark circles under your eyes the way you looked small. 

“Go away.” You said, not being able to look at him any longer, not being able to stand the emotions in his eyes. He caught the door as you closed it, he pushed back against it opening it and moving in past you. 

“Stop ignoring me.” He said and closed the door. He reached for you, his hand grabbing air as you stepped far out of his reach. 

 “Did I do something wrong?” His face breaking as he asked you. Your eyes widened at him and your heart cracked more than it already had. 

“No.” 

“Then why?” You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t say anything. He took a step towards you and you moved back again. “Why?” His voice was small, pleading with you. You closed your eyes as tears gathered again. 

“I don’t deserve you okay?” Your voice harsh. You didn’t look at him as tears spilled down your cheeks, you turned your head down letting your hair cover your face. Opening your eyes, you watched as your tears hit the hardwood floor of your living room. 

“I don’t deserve anything. She died because I couldn’t help her.” Your vision blurred more and more, as you spoke. You felt him take a step towards you and you took another back. “I’ll just ruin you.” 

“Ara?” He asked. Your head snapped up to him, his eyes were tearing up as well as he looked at you. You were shocked that her name came out of his mouth. You put your hand over your mouth as a sob tore from you. He took another step towards you, and you took one back hitting the wall behind you. Finally, he had his arms around you, he pulled you into his chest. 

“That wasn’t your fault.” He spoke. “That was on the guy who lied to her and told her he didn’t drink. That was on the guy who let her get into his car.” You sobbed into his chest as he spoke. “I know about her Y/N I was at that party. Yuta was wreaked for weeks after that. But it isn’t his fault. It’s most certainly not your fault. I didn’t realize that you were her best friend until Yuta told me after he met you at the bar.” You only sobbed harder into his chest. 

“I can’t change your mind baby; I can just tell you that you deserve happiness. You deserve good things in your life. I didn’t know Ara, but I do know that she'd hate to see you like this.” His hand moved from the back of your head to the side of your face, pulling your face up to look into his eyes. 

“If anything, babe I don’t deserve you.” He said, more tears slipped down your face. He was perfect. That was the only thing your brain could think as you looked up at him. His warm hand on your cheek, his arm wrapped around you. The warmth of his body against yours. Everything about him. He was perfect. 

He put his forehead against yours, your breathing turning into his as your breathing became shallow. His mouth inches away from your own, your hand knotting into the front of his t-shirt you pulled yourself up, closing the small gap between you and him. His mouth was warm and careful. He was going slow, afraid you’d scare away. But you weren’t going to. You may not be okay yet, but you weren’t gonna get better without him. You needed him. You wanted him. He was your cure. You’d get better for him, with him. 

Ara’s mother told you the day of her funeral that people never truly leave us, they come back to watch over us. You full-heartedly believed that this had Ara written all over it. Taeyong randomly showing up to sit by you in the library, at the café, helping you when you got hurt, calling you at the right time all the time, cheering you up before you could even get down, moving his way into your life. This had the scheming hand of your best friend all over it. 

You deepened the kiss leaning into the wall, pulling him with you. His hand moved under your shirt pulling it up over your head, only leaving your mouth for that one second to get it over your head. 

Somehow the two of you were in your bed, all your clothes gone, his mouth was moving down your neck leaving small marks down your throat on your collarbone to the swell of your breasts. With each bite a small moan left you, each kiss took your breath away. His mouth closed around the hard nub of your nipple pulling on it gently with his teeth, drawing his name from your mouth. His head moved lower, lower until you couldn’t take it anymore. Pulling him back up to you, you pressed your mouth against his, his tongue finding his way to yours instantly. 

“I need you now.” You said, wrapping your arm around his shoulder. He looked down at you with so much emotion in his eyes, so much care you almost melted from just his gaze. “Please.” With that, he pressed his mouth back to yours lining himself up at your entrance. His lips moved against yours as he pushed in, swallowing your moan as he filled you. 

You moaned, your mouth leaving his as his hips moved against yours. Only the sounds of moans and your skin against his filing up your small room. 

He pressed his forehead against yours, “Look at me, babe.” You opened your eyes and held his gaze your back arched as the world faded to a bright white, his name rolling off your tongue as he nipped at your bottom lip. His thrusts became rushed as he soon followed moaning into your neck, before relaxing on top of you. You kissed him again as you both calmed down. 

After some time, he pulled out, laying beside you and pulling you into his chest. He kissed the top of your head as you started to drift off. 

“I love you Y/N.” This time you didn’t stop yourself. 

“I love you too Taeyong.” 

A/N: The next part will be Yuta’s I’m going to make this a three part trilogy! Please let me know your thoughts, it means a lot to hear what you guy think!

#nct #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct blurbs #nct x reader #nct x y/n #nct x you #nct angst #nct college au #lee taeyong #taeyong #taeyong imagines #taeyong smut #taeyong scenarios #taeyong x reader #taeyong x y/n #taeyong x you

[let-me-luve-you]

Dr. Holland

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: Tom’s big sister is the hardest working person he knows. He is extremely proud of her and he can’t stop himself from talking about her during an interview.

Warnings: Overworked, maybe some angst, loving siblings, mentions of doctor work

MASTERLIST

Tom sighed as he got a text from you saying that you were scheduled to work the one week he was home. Another message followed saying you only had to work three days instead of the normal five. You were an emergency room doctor and you worked a lot. Tom was proud of his older sister. She worked her but off through medical school to get where she was. Now she was working her butt off to get the position you really wanted, Pediatric Oncologist.

Tom had been filming Spider-Man in America when you were going through medical school. You would call him to keep you company while you were studying. And when time was on his side, he would quiz you. Tom never thought he was smart enough to become a doctor, but he knew enough to get by now.

It was early Wednesday morning when you pulled up at Tom’s house. You had gotten off work at 6am and stopped by your house to shower and change clothes. Tom had texted you last night that he had a few Zoom interviews this afternoon that would take a few hours of his time. Tom told you that you were free to sleep in his room after breakfast. But with only a few days with your brother, you decided you could sleep at night when they sleep.

You took the key Tom gave you for when you house sit and let yourself in. The house was quiet so you knew everyone was still asleep. You moved towards the kitchen. You sat your purse down and went straight to the coffee machine. Normally you would drink tea, but after a long night and soon to be long day, you needed all the help you could get to stay awake. While waiting on the coffee to be made, you took out all the pans and ingredients you would need to make breakfast. You decided to make breakfast burritos since those were your favorite and you didn’t get them often.

Halfway through cooking the sausage, bacon, and eggs, Tom walked in rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his hair flying every which way. He walked over to you and gave you a big hug. You smiled into his chest.

“Still short, I see.” Tom said with sleep lacing his voice.

“Still rude, I see.” You said back.

Tom squeezed you tighter, “I missed you.”

“Missed you to bubs.” You pulled back and watched him walk towards the coffee pot. You gave a small laugh and turned back to what was at hand.

“How’s the hospital been?” He asked as he sat on the counter next to the stove so he could see your face while he talked to you.

“It’s been good. Being in the ER means inconsistent hours and long shifts. Dr. Hamilton is planning on retiring in the next few months and he's told them my name as a replacement. Hopefully that works out so I can finally be a Pediatric Oncologist.” You said.

“I know you’ll get it and you'll be the best at your job.” Tom said matter of fact.

“Thanks. I hope I get it. If not, I may have to switch hospitals. I don’t think I can stay in the ER. I had night shifts this week. Day shifts last week. I went from day to night on Sunday. I had six hours off to rest since they made me work this weekend. They messed up the schedule but if I asked for Sunday night off, they were going to make me work the rest of the week.” You said taking all the food you just made to the island. Tom followed you and sat at the counter. You started fixing his burrito.

“I can make my own you know?” He said with a laugh. “But honestly. Stick it out. No one is more deserving of that position than you. You care for the kids and you know exactly what you are doing. Everything will work out. I’m so proud of you. Don’t know if I tell you that enough, but I am.”

“Thanks Tom.” You smiled at him. After making your burritos, you continued to talk about everything in your lives. He caught you up on the movies he was doing. He explained what the interviews were for. You just stared at him in awe as you saw the passionate look in his eyes when talking about acting.

A few hours after breakfast, you went to sit with Tom in his office. You laid out on the couch joking with him before his interview. Tom’s phone rang and he saw that it was his manager so he answered. Ten minutes later when he hung up he looked at you asleep on the couch. He stood up and grabbed the blanket and laid it across you. He knew that you would be out the whole time he did interviews as long as he didn’t make any sudden sounds. Tom was grateful the call through his computer rang through his AirPods. That sound would have woken you up and he knows you need sleep. Tom clicked the green answer button and was met with a smiling reporter.

“Hello Tom. How are you today?” The reporter asked.

“I’m doing great. How about yourself?” Tom asked back. Talking quieter than he normally would for something like this. His eyes drifted up to you to see if you moved and he didn’t even see you flinch.

“I’m doing great. Thank you for asking. So my name is Gerald. I’m with Buzzfeed. And I wanted to start this interview off asking what you’ve been up to these last few months.”

“Well, I’ve been in Germany working on a movie. Can’t go into detail just yet about it, but news will be dropping soon.” Tom checked one more time on you before he moved his full attention onto Gerald. “Sorry if I’m talking quieter than usual. My sister is asleep on my office couch. She’s been working like crazy lately so I didn’t have the heart to wake her.”

“Your volume is perfectly fine. If you don’t mind me asking, what does your sister do? We know about your other brothers since they are more involved in your line of work. They even travel with you. But we don’t really know a lot about your sister.” Gerald asked.

“My sister is amazing. Her name is Y/N. She’s a few years older than me. She is currently a doctor at one of the hospitals here in London. She’s been an emergency doctor but she is working towards becoming a Pediatric Oncologist.”

“That sounds fancy. What is that?” He asked.

“It’s a doctor that treats children with cancer. Y/N has worked so hard to get to that point. She’s so caring and loving and knows so much that I think she would be the perfect fit in any hospital in that position.”

“You sound proud of her.” Gerald said, pointing out the fact.

“I’m incredibly proud of her. She is just so amazing at everything but I was in the front row watching her work to this point. I wasn’t ever great at school and she was always working for those perfect grades. She would let me study with her so she could help when I needed it. I was her first call when she was accepted into med school. I remember crying when she told me that because I knew the work she had put in during undergrad to get there.” Tom said as he looked up at you. You were still sleeping soundly and Tom smiled at that.

“When I was filming Spider-Man: Homecoming, she would call me. It would be six or seven o’clock at night where I was and so I knew it was around midnight her time. She just wanted my company while she studied. She was so used to us working together she needed me there to help concentrate. She would email me her note cards and I would spend hours quizzing her. We were close before that, but we were almost inseparable after that. She’s my big sister and I love her and I’m so, so proud of her.”

“It sounds like it. It’s refreshing hearing you say such great things about your sister. I bet the whole family is proud of the both of you.” Gerald added.

“I know we are all proud of Y/N. For me, I know my family is proud, but what I do doesn’t even come close to what she does. After not seeing her for months due to COVID, any good I do, will never compare to the good she does.” Tom said thinking of those awful months you refused to see your family so you didn’t put them at risk.

“Well, tell her we appreciate the work she does. We would love to meet her sometime. You should bring her around a set or press tour sometime.”

Tom laughed. “I’ll have to try. She always turns me down though. Maybe if I film in London. But she does always make it to my premieres. Thankfully we almost always have one here in London, so it’s easier for her, but she’s made the trip to LA a couple of times.”

“Can’t wait to meet her one day.” Tom smiled at Gerald. “So you said you’ve been in Germany…”

Gerald continued with his interview. Once he was finished with that one he went right into the next. He spent three hours doing interviews and you never woke up once. He was grateful you were getting rest. When the final interview ended, Tom went over to you and gently picked you up. You stirred in his arms.

“Tom?” You said tiredly and confused. “Where are you taking me?”

“My room. You need more sleep and I need a nap. We can go out for dinner afterwards.” He said as he sat you on his bed. He walked to the other side.

“Okay.” You said rolling over towards him. “I love you bubs.” You whispered. Tom wrapped you in his arms and kissed you on the head.

“Love you too y/n/n.” He whispered back before you both fell asleep.

#tom holland #tom holland sister #tom holland x sister!reader #tom holland x sister #tom holland x holland!reader #tom holland x y/n #brother!tom holland x sister!reader #holland!reader #Holland!sister #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland oneshot #tom holland rpf #tom holland real person fic #brother!tom holland

[yoddream]

part 1 is here

(TW: talks of weight and clothing size)

It had been a couple months since Jeno apologized. It had been rough at times, for he had missed out on a lot with not only you but your other friends as well. Renjun had also gotten into a relationship, so he wasn’t available as much, but he always made time for you guys, and sometimes one of you would invite his partner along.

Jaemin was back home for a family emergency, so he’d missed out on the initial reunion. He had returned not too long after, but when he did he’d given Jeno the cold shoulder for almost two weeks. everyone had felt it was a little excessive, but he stood his ground until he was ready.

Mark and Haechan had had a huge fight, resulting in them taking a break for about a month. It had resulted in you and Haechan eating a bunch of takeout while watching youtube videos multiple nights a week. Nobody knew what the fight was actually about, but it made everyone worried the couple would break up permanently.

Jisung and Chenle were the only ones that didn’t really have anything happen to them. They still attended class and hung out with the group, but that was it. It was almost as if they were immune to any drama.

When it seemed like everything had settled, you were worried about something else coming up to ruin everything. It seemed to good to be true for everything to feel right again. Was a random quiz going to pop up in one of your classes? Would your apartment flood? We’re your parents going to call you with bad news?

No. Instead, you ran into Yeeun.

You’d gone to the boba shop a few blocks away from your apartment to reward yourself for getting your essay done a couple days before it was due. Sure, you could’ve gone whenever, but rewarding yourself with it motivated you, and it made the drink taste that much better. Jeno was back at your place, still writing his paper, so you’d offered to get him some to keep going, which then turned into you offering to get some for Haechan and Mark as well.

When you walked into the shop, you almost bumped into Yeeun. She looked as put-together as usual, with her hair glossy and straight, an outfit that consisted of baggy jeans and a cropped cardigan, and perfect makeup to accentuate her big eyes. It reminded you of how despite her obviously looking upset the days after the break up, she still put herself together as if nothing had happened.

“O-oh. Hi Yeeun,” you said hesitantly.

She smiled brightly, which shocked you. “Hi, Y/N! How have you been?”

“I’ve been doing well. How—how have you been?” you asked.

“I’ve been doing okay. The break-up’s been rough, but my friends are helping me get through it. How’s Jeno been doing?”

“Not well. He’s been upset, but we’re doing everything we can to get his mind off it,” you explained.

“That’s good. Well, I have class in a few minutes, so I should get going.” As she walked around you, you spun around and called out her name. She turned to you with her eyebrows raised as she waited.

“Can I ask why you broke up with Jeno? None of us have been able to figure it out.”

She smiled sadly. “One time, he and I were eating lunch in the hall. You and your friends were sitting on the other side, looking over every once in a while until you picked up your phone and texted him. You had asked to hang out for movie night, but he said he already had plans with me. You just looked so sad and heartbroken, and I had remembered him talk about your movie nights and how special they were. Seeing how you reacted, I’d sneaked a look at his phone and saw that he’d turned you down almost every time you asked to hang out. I couldn’t get in the way of a friendship like that, especially knowing how close you were before I started dating him.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to him about it?” you asked genuinely.

“I thought about it, but something told me it wouldn’t have done anything,” she explained. When she looked at her watch, she cursed. “I really gotta go. You should text me, though! We can have a girls’ day!”

Once you’d gotten your order, you rushed back to your apartment and practically threw Jeno’s drink at him before rushing down the hall to Haechan’s room. With your free hand, you banged on the door while shouting “Code pink! Code pink!”

Code pink: ran into someone’s ex.

The door flew open, and you handed Mark his drink before pushing past him to grab Haechan. Dragging your roommate into your bedroom, you locked the door behind you and led him into your closet before closing the door behind you as well to assure nobody heard you talk.

“This story better be good enough for you to drag me back into the closet,” Haechan joked.

“Shut up, idiot. I ran into Yeeun.”

“What?!”

You shushed him harshly. “I don’t need those two breaking into my room trying to figure out what we’re talking about!”

“Tell. Me. Everything.”

So you did. The whole time you told your story, his eyes were wide as he took everything in. There were guesses as to why she’d broken up with Jeno, but nobody was close to the actual reason. And to hear that she wanted to stay in contact with you? It seemed impossible.

When you were done, Haechan sat there without saying a single word. What could he even say? Yeeun and Jeno had had a relationship that seemed perfectly fine. They weren’t toxic towards each other, and they weren’t nasty to each other’s friends.

“I never thought I’d hear about a couple breaking up to help someone outside of their relationship,” he finally said.

“Well, parents break up all the time because it’s better for their child,” you pointed out.

“But that kid is a part of the relationship. It’s their child. Breaking up because a friend is hurting? That’s new to me.”

There was a pause before you asked, “What do I do now?”

Haechan let out a big sigh. “I have no idea. If you wanna be friends with her, I don’t see why not. I would just wait a couple days before you text her. As for Jeno—well, there’s no way to tell how he would react.”

“Are you guys done? Hyuckie and I were supposed to watch a movie!” Mark called out.

Haechan rolled his eyes before muttering, “And everyone says I’m obsessed with him.”

“Go have your date night. I’m gonna see if Jeno needs help with his essay,” you said, shoving Haechan when he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

Haechan liked to joke that you and Jeno were dating, even though everyone knew you didn’t like each other. It had been an ongoing joke since you were in high school, but it’d stopped while Jeno and Yeeun were still together.

When you opened your bedroom door, Jeno and Mark were standing right there. Mark immediately grabbed Haechan and dragged him across the hall, leaving you with your best friend. He was staring at you with an unreadable expression, which worried you a little. Did he hear you?

“What are you hiding?” he asked, a smirk growing on his face.

You groaned loudly. “You asshole! I thought you were actually upset with me.”

“I’m just surprised that it’s a secret I’m not allowed to know,” he stated.

"I’ll tell you at some point. How’s your paper coming?”

Jeno frowned instead of responding. You immediately knew what he wanted. Jeno had always had a problem with expressing himself, so you learned how to read him. What he wanted right now? He wanted to cuddle. The only problem was that if you went with it, he’d never get his paper done. It was due tonight.

“Jeno, you better get that assignment done. Don’t make me regret buying that boba for you,” you said.

With his frown deepening, Jeno turned and headed back to the living room. You took a sip of your drink and closed the door. He was being dramatic; he knew he could come to you after he was done.

You snuggled into your bed and started watching a video on your phone. You could feel your eyelids getting heavy, but you did everything you could to fight against it. As time went on, it got harder and harder. By the time you were about to fall asleep, there was a soft knock on your door before it slowly creaked open. Jeno shuffled himself in and closed the door behind him before turning to you. Without a word, you lifted the edge of your comforter and let him crawl in. His long hair fell over his eyes by the time he settled, so you gently pushed it away. He threw an arm over your torso and pulled you close, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body melt; it was just like old times.

///

A couple weeks had passed since you’d run into Yeeun. The two of you texted, and you’d even hung out with her a few times. Jeno either hadn’t found out yet, or he didn’t care. You were hoping it was the latter, but there was a good chance that wasn’t the case. He still seemed to be pretty heartbroken.

“What about this one?” Yeeun asked, holding up a dress.

The two of you were at the mall, shopping for a party. You’d never really gone to one, so you had one idea what to wear. The last time you were invited to a party, you didn’t want to go, so the guys had gone without you. It was actually how Jeno had met Yeeun.

“It’s cute,” you said. The dress was a bodycon that had a ruffle along the bottom. The straps were tied on the tops of the shoulders, and the fabric was a light pink. You could already tell it would look really nice on her.

“Yeah...I just don’t know if it’ll be good enough for the party,” she mumbled with a pout.

“Honestly, Yeeun, I think you could wear whatever the hell you wanted and look good,” you told her.

She frowned. “I guess. Well, how about you try it on?”

“No way. I could never wear that,” you stated with a firm shake of your head.

“Of course you can! Look, they have it in your size.” She swapped the dresses on the rack and held it out to you. “You don’t have to get it, but you can totally try it on. It’s not going to hurt you.”

“It could hurt my self-esteem,” you mumbled.

Yeeun took a step forward and gently grabbed you by the shoulders. “I know it’s not something you’d normally wear, but it’s just for fun. You are absolutely stunning, even if you think you aren’t. Trying on clothing is to see how something fits, not how you look in the clothing. If it feels too tight in certain areas, then you try a size up to see how that feels. It’s based on your level of comfort, not how you look. That’s why we try on clothes. A medium dress from here could be an extra-large dress from another store. Also, this color would look pretty on you.”

You paused. “Didn’t you just say that it’s not based on how you look?”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “When it comes to how it fits on your body, silly. Color is completely different. This shade of pink may look better with your skin tone than a different shade of pink. C’mon, please?”

Sighing, you took the dress and dragged your feet to the fitting room. When you closed the door and locked it, you took a deep breath before starting to undress. Avoiding your reflection, you took the dress off the hanger and stepped into it before sliding it up. Once your arms were completely through the straps and the dress was settled, you turned to your reflection and grimaced. Clearly, it was too small, but you tried to remember what Yeeun said.

A medium dress from here could be an extra-large dress from another store.

“Y/N? How does it feel?” Yeeun called out.

Taking another deep breath, you opened the door and stepped out. She looked up from her phone and frowned. Your heart felt heavy as your stomach dropped. Did you really look that bad?

“Let me get a size up. See, this is what I meant when I said sizes are different in each store!” she called out while running back to the rack. She came back with a smile on her face. “I know it’s difficult to ignore what size the tag says. Trust me, a lot of people worry about it. I used to all the time, and I still do it every once in a while. But just remember that companies suck and they’re always fucking somebody over, whether that’s somebody that has a body more like Tess Holliday or somebody with a body more like Winnie Harlow. Now, switch into this dress and see how it fits.”

You did as you were told and looked at your reflection once again. Trying to keep in mind what Yeeun said, you thought about how the dress fit. It wasn’t cutting into your underarms anymore, and you felt like you could breathe without popping a stitch. When you stepped out, she squealed and clasped her hands together.

“You look so hot, no lie! How do you feel?” she asked.

“Little uncomfortable, but mostly because I don’t usually wear bodycon dresses,” you admitted. “But...”

“But?”

“But I think I could see myself wearing it. Maybe not to the party, but sometime in the near future.”

The grin on her face grew. “That’s what I like to hear.”

///

On the night of the party, Haechan was at Mark’s, leaving you alone with the apartment. You took your time getting ready, dancing around to the music that was playing on your phone. The party wasn’t for another couple hours, which gave you more than enough time to finish your makeup and hair. Your phone vibrated a couple times, but you figured it was just the group chat. They’d been blowing it up while you were in the shower, but you hadn’t read any of it.

You’d decided to wear the dress, telling yourself that you could leave if you felt uncomfortable. It was a big step for you, maybe even too big, but you wanted to try.

Once you were ready, you grabbed your bag and keys and opened your apartment door. On the other side was Jeno, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. You stumbled back a little in surprise, your eyes wide at the sudden appearance of your best friend.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.

“I texted you, asking if you wanted to get some ice cream. I figured I’d show up when you didn’t answer.” He looked you up and down with a smile. “You look very pretty. Where are you going?”

“Um, Yeeun actually invited me to her party,” you mumbled.

His eyebrows raised in shock. “Oh. I didn’t know you two were talking.”

“Yeah. I, uh, I ran into her when I went to pick up boba.”

He grinned. “Is that what that code pink was about?”

“Maybe. You aren’t mad, are you?”

“I’m a little upset that you didn’t tell me, but I understand why you didn’t. Besides, I’m almost over the breakup,” he assured you. “I can drop you off, if you want. I’ll be driving by the sorority on my way home, so it’s not like I’ll be going out of my way.”

“Fine, but only because I wanna drink but don’t want to take an Uber,” you reasoned.

The ride over was filled with Jeno’s soft playlist. He always listened to it when he was studying or trying to nap because it kept him calm, so you were surprised to hear it in the car. When you asked about it, he told you that he liked to listen to it when he was driving at night. “It kept the calm ambience,” was his short explanation.

“Call me if you need a ride home, okay?” he asked once he was parked by the curb. “Or text me if you don’t. Just—let me know you’re okay, yeah?”

You rolled your eyes with a grin. “Yes, Jeno. Thank you for the ride.”

You didn’t hear his car drive off until the front door was open. Stepping inside, you immediately felt lost. It was loud, it was crowded, and it smelled like alcohol. Looking around, you tried to find a familiar face, but nobody was standing out.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your left, your eyes landed on Yeeun. She was wear a red, strapless dress that hugged her figure. Her makeup was simple, but it didn’t matter when she was as gorgeous as she was. Her eyes lit up when she saw what you were wearing before she hurried over.

“You decided to wear the dress!” she shouted.

“I did,” you said with a smile.

“Well, you look absolutely stunning. Come on, let’s get you a drink, and then I’ll introduce you to my friends!”

Alcohol was just what you needed to loosen up. Soon, you were joking around with Yeeun and her friends, and then you were dancing, and then you were taking shots, and then you were stumbling. Sorn handed you another shot glass, which you downed despite Yeeun telling you to slow down. You ignored her and kept drinking.

///

The first thing you noticed was the smell of the room. It was familiar, but you didn’t know how. Then, it was how stiff your body felt. Finally, the headache. Could it even be considered a headache? It felt like someone just kept stabbing your skull. When you opened your eyes, the room was dark. The clock on the nightstand said that it was almost eleven, though, which meant the blackout curtains were drawn.

So, you were in Jeno’s room.

You slowly rolled over and knocked into the boy, groaning as your head seemed to hurt even more. Slowly, you turned until you were facing him. Well, facing his back. He was facing away from you, snoring away. Without hesitation, you threw your arm over his waist and clung to him as you buried your face into the back of his neck, which woke him up.

“Hm, good morning,” he mumbled.

“Hurts,” you whined.

“Yeah, you were almost passed out by the time I got to the sorority. Thank Yeeun for calling me,” he replied.

“She called you?” you asked, your stomach clenching. Was it from the hangover?

“Yup. Honestly, I was pretty shocked to see her name pop up when my phone rang, but I’m glad. She was worried something would happen to you, but she trusted me to take care of you.” He rolled over, and you could barely make out his face. You did see a frown, though. “That’s the last time I try helping you change without exposing or touching anything. Who knew you’d be the kind of drunk that tries to strip?”

“Oh my god,” you whispered while hiding your face in his chest.

“My reaction exactly.”

“You didn’t see anything, did you?”

“No. I managed to stop you as you untied the second strap.”

With a groan, you rolled away and sat on the edge of the bed. He laughed before following you, squeezing your shoulder as he got up. He promised to make you breakfast and get you painkillers while you showered. You took your time in the bathroom, making sure not a single centimeter of your body felt dirty and gross. When you were done, you got dressed in the same t-shirt and sweatpants before heading into the kitchen.

Jeno was facing the stove, cooking some eggs and hash. When he heard you shuffle in, his turned around with a smile, but it dropped almost immediately. You frowned, unsure of why he looked at you like that. Shutting off the stove, he put his spatula down and walked over. He stopped in front of you before slowly bending down and capturing your lips in a soft kiss. You froze in shock before relaxing, your whole body melting under his touch. When he pulled away, you opened your eyes and raised your eyebrows.

“Oh,” you said.

“What?” he asked.

“Well, that makes sense.”

Letting out a surprised laugh, he questioned, “What makes sense?”

“I don’t know. It just—it makes sense! You kissing me just makes sense!”

“You’re so weird,” he said with a grin before leaning down to kiss you again.

There was a lot that still needed to be talked about. Neither of you could simply enter a relationship before talking about your feelings and going on dates, but you decided to push that to the back of your mind while you enjoyed kissing Jeno.

(”Can we keep this a secret from the guys for a little bit?”

“How come?”

“Well, I wanna see the look on Haechan’s face when he makes that joke about us dating.”

“I’m sorry, he does what?”)

#nct #nct dream #jeno #lee jeno #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #jeno imagines #lee jeno imagines #nct jeno #nct dream jeno

[bobohu4eva]

Pink Lace - Chapter 3

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.

Word count: 5k

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault, sex work, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Tag List: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banan @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey   @deligxt @baekwifey @rockerbbhyun @lovebuginlove @bellamendoza

Masterlist

Class on Friday was less terrifying. You arrived earlier than you had Wednesday, and sat with Lucas as you’d promised. 

You told yourself that Baekhyun was just another one of your professors, and you needed to get your head on straight and pay attention, especially since the class was already more challenging than you’d thought. You were starting to get worried that you’d embarrass yourself by doing poorly, and you definitely didn’t want Baekhyun to think you were stupid. You knew you weren’t, but you also knew that this class wasn’t your strength. 

You noticed Baekhyun walk in and take a seat at his desk. He looked happy to see you back in his class, and this time without you trying to avoid him. You gave him a shy smile, still feeling fairly awkward around him. 

“So that party’s tonight, any chance I can still convince you to come?” You heard Lucas say next to you, flashing you a smile.

“I told you I’m not really a fan of parties, sorry.” You responded, avoiding his eyes and fidgeting with the things on your desk.

You were acutely aware of Baekhyun listening to your conversation from his desk a few feet away.

“Aw come on, even if I’m there? I promise it’ll be fun.”

Baekhyun was listening. And he felt his face harden and fists clench at the boy’s pushiness.

“I have homework, I don’t have time to go out.” You looked at him now, trying to get the point across. You just really didn’t want to go.

“But it’s the first party of the year! I promise you won’t regret it.” He continued anyway, now grabbing your hand. Baekhyun narrowed his eyes. 

Panicking slightly, you blurted out “I can’t anyway, I have work” as you pulled your hand away from his.

Baekhyun cocked up an eyebrow, wondering what’ll happen next.

“Work? Where at?”

“I’m a waitress, at a bar across town, you wouldn’t know about it.” You stammered, building on your lie.

Baekhyun quietly chuckled to himself, now obviously amused. Especially when he knew what your real job was.

“But what if you got someone to-”

“She said she didn’t wanna go, so drop it.” Baekhyun suddenly interrupted, voice calm but stern. Before you and Lucas even had time to react, he was getting up from his desk and starting the lecture, and you found yourself opening your notebook.

As the class went on you understood less and less of what Baekhyun was saying. You were quickly learning that philosophy meant reading lots of things that were old as hell, and nearly impossible to understand. Your own notes weren’t even really making sense to you and you knew you’d have to go back over them later if you really wanted to understand the material. Who knew philosophy would be such a bitch of a class.

Near the end of class, Baekhyun started handing out a short pop quiz and you felt yourself getting nervous.

When he handed you yours, he mouthed “good luck” with a smile. When you read the question you cursed yourself for having been so distracted the first few days. You had no idea what the difference between moral relativism and objectivism was anymore, nor any of the other things he’d talked about. Despite taking notes, it was just too difficult for you to make sense of the things he taught with so many other things running through your mind.

Baekhyun noticed how stressed you looked as he watched you stare down at your paper. Every time you’d start to write something, you’d stop and erase it. Time was ticking by and you didn’t have much left until he’d collect everyone’s papers.

This wasn’t like you at all. Usually you could remember things easily and ace pop quizzes without a problem, but Baekhyun was too distracting. Especially when you knew he was watching you and you knew he was waiting to see what you’d write.

Eventually you started scribbling down something incredibly vague and almost definitely incorrect, but at least it was something.

Although Baekhyun could tell you were struggling with the assignment, he still found it amusing to watch you as you tried to figure it out. He lost count of how many times you brushed your hair behind your ear, only to have it fall right back in your face again. He could almost see the gears turning in your head as you mulled over the question and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen something so cute.

When he got up to collect everyone’s quizzes you were still frantically trying to finish your paragraph. When he got to you you were almost finished. You looked up at him, silently begging for more time, and he gave you a soft smile. He went to take the papers from the rest of the students in your row first before eventually coming back to you. Yours was the last paper he took, and you cringed as you saw him start to read over it immediately as he made his way back to his desk, brows furrowed.

Once he’d collected the quizzes from the students they were free to go, making you the last one in the room with him again.

“Thank you.” You said. “For giving me more time. I promise I’m not stupid it’s just been hard for me to focus.” Baekhyun was glad you seemed comfortable enough to talk to him like this, and couldn’t fight the smile that was creeping onto his face. 

“I know” he looked at you with sincerity “you can go home” he looked over at the door “I’m not gonna make you stay again. I’m sorry for Monday. That was mean.” You could tell by the way he looked down at his desk after he finished speaking, he really was sorry.

You felt a small smile start to form on your lips.

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have freaked out so bad.”

“No, I shouldn’t have talked to you like I did. You were obviously uncomfortable, it was a dick move to make you stay.”

You giggled, pleased that he could admit he acted poorly. “It’s okay, really. I was just in shock.”

“Well it won’t happen again.” He gave you a smile so full of warmth and you couldn’t help but smile back. “Don’t forget that essay is due Wednesday night.”

“I can remember a simple due date Baekhyun. I told you I’m not dumb.” You rolled your eyes, walking towards the door.

“It’s still Mr. Byun when we’re here!” He yelled after you playfully.

“Okay Baekhyun!” You yelled back, waving as you walked out the door.

Baekhyun’s face hurt from how hard he was smiling, very much pleased by how you seemed more comfortable today. He silently patted himself on the back for it, relieved that you wouldn’t be a nervous wreck every class anymore. Your answer on the quiz hadn’t been too bad either, despite how stressed you’d looked.

Hopefully, just maybe, this meant you would start opening up to him more.

~

You spent Friday night doing homework as planned, and when Saturday morning rolled around and you started getting ready for work, you started to worry about whether or not Baekhyun would show up. You both hoped he’d show up just for the money, and dreaded the awkwardness if he did. You decided to just assume he wouldn’t show and go about the night as if he didn’t matter.

You added some last touches to your makeup, opting for something natural and glowy to go with your glittery pink outfit you’d packed for the night.

“I like the outfit tonight” Dave said, winking at you as you checked in. “New shoes?”

“No. I got these a few weeks ago.”

“Come on Candy, loosen up.”

You cringed but gave him a smile anyway, not wanting to get on your manager’s bad side.

For the first time in months you were going to have to spend a Saturday night trying to talk to random guys to sell dances, something you hated. Half of them would likely waste your time anyway, the other half would give you money but you never knew what bs they’d try to pull when getting their dance.

You stood by the bar, facing into the room looking for someone who didn’t seem too bad. Eventually a group of guys around your age came in and you sat down with them.

“So what’s your name gorgeous?” One of them asked you, already slightly drunk.

“I’m Candy” you told them, asking for their names as well. They all introduced themselves and soon went back to laughing amongst themselves, until a waitress showed up.

“Shots of patron, and two for the lady” one of them ordered, and you didn’t object. In the back of your mind you were still worried about Baekhyun showing up, and drinking would easily help you forget.

You took the shots. And then two more. Your stomach felt pleasantly warm, and you kept laughing at whatever the men around you were saying, though you didn’t really listen. You could hear your words slur together when you spoke, but the comfortable haze felt nice to you and you let yourself get lost in the feeling.

Eventually they ordered a 3rd round, at which point you were thoroughly tipsy and probably shouldn’t have had any more, but with the thought of Baekhyun still in the back of your mind, and the alcohol clouding your judgement, you swallowed down the fifth and sixth shots with little thought. Although by then you weren’t counting anymore. They went down like nothing, body already numb to the sting.

You were laughing at something someone said, mind going hazy from the liquor as everything around you began to go blurry. You tried to stand up but nearly fell, having trouble standing on your heels on your own. You sat back down, closing your eyes, and the room felt like it was spinning out of control. You vaguely heard the chatter of the men around you saying something, but before you had time to process their words everything went black.

Next thing you knew, your head was on Baekhyun’s lap and he was staring down at you.

~

Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he was going to go that night. As much as he wanted to see you, he wasn’t sure you’d want to see him there again.

As the night went on he tried to distract himself, grade some papers, watch some TV, but nothing worked. No matter what he did, you were stuck in the back of his mind. He wanted, needed to see you again. As long as he paid you, you wouldn’t be too mad to see him there, and two of you could just act like it was any other Saturday night, right? 

Not wanting to think about it too much, he got his shoes on, grabbed his wallet, and walked out the door.

When he arrived, he didn’t see you at the bar where you usually stood and waited for him. Upon looking around the main room of the club, he didn’t see you either, and his heart rate started to go up. What if you were stuck in a VIP room with some creep who was making you uncomfortable?

Baekhyun started to wander around the room to look for you. He checked every booth and could see every table, you had to be upstairs in a room. He hated to admit it to himself but even just the thought of you being up there with someone who wasn’t terrible bothered him. Thinking about you grinding on strangers at all made his stomach churn.

To calm his nerves he stood by the bar and ordered himself a drink, and not even a minute went by before there was a girl standing in front of him.

“Hey handsome, what are you doing here? You’re awful cute to be in a place like this.”

She started to touch Baekhyun’s arm and he slapped her hand away, turning around and gulping down his drink.

The girl frowned, but persisted anyway.

“So why are you here? Looking for some fun?”

“I’m looking for my friend.” He replied, eyes still scanning the room, ignoring her.

“I’m sure I can show you a good time too you know..” she stepped closer, blocking his view of the rest of the room.

Baekhyun dug in his pocket and pulled out a 50, holding it up with an annoyed look on his face.

“It’s yours if you leave.”

She took the bill, scoffing and turning around to walk away. Baekhyun faced his back towards the room and kept his eyes on the stairs, waiting for you to come down.

10 minutes went by, and then 10 more. Baekhyun couldn’t help but get more and more nervous. He knew it was pretty rare for people to spend that much time up there. He ordered himself another drink and started getting fidgety, trying to distract himself from worrying too much. 

A few more girls came up to him, but he quickly sent each one of them away.

After about 15 more minutes you finally appeared, and Baekhyun’s worst fears were realized when he saw you nearly unconscious, basically being carried down the stairs by 2 men. Immediately his mouth went dry and he felt his stomach do a flip.

You had your arm around one of the men’s shoulders, and the other had his hand on your lower back as you clumsily made your way down, nearly falling several times. You hadn’t even put your top back on, probably too wasted to notice it was missing anyway. The two men sat you down in an empty chair near the bottom of the stairs and went back to their group across the room with disgustingly smug looks on their faces. Baekhyun would’ve loved to walk right up to them and deck each of them in the face, but the last thing he needed now was to get himself kicked out while you were alone, completely incoherent, and surrounded by strange men. He cursed himself for not being able to do anything about them, but you were more important now.

He quickly made his way over to you, crouching down in front of you and grabbing your hand between his as he desperately tried to get a response from you.

“Hey, it’s me, say something.”

You could only mumble something incoherent.

“Can you open your eyes and look at me?”

You just shook your head slightly, brows furrowed.

“Fuck” Baekhyun whispered. He saw other people beginning to give him weird looks, and decided to take you to a room upstairs. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” He slung your arm around his shoulder and kept a firm grip on your waist as he got you to stand up. 

He helped your mostly limp body up the stairs, and into the room. He let go of you for a second, and immediately you fell onto the couch, hitting your head on the wall in the process. He flinched, hearing the impact.

“Shit” he heard you say and saw you rub your head where it made contact with the wall.

“Sorry.” He knew you couldn’t process his words in your drunken state, but he said it anyway.

He handed you your bra, which had been dangling off one of your arms when you came down the stairs and he helped you get it back on. He helped you out of your shoes as well and laid you down on the couch. He sat down and you put your head in his lap, curling up against him and quickly passing back out. He gently rubbed the bump on your head, and heard you hum at the feeling. He looked around to see your money bag discarded on the floor and when he picked it up to set it on the small table in the corner he noticed it was empty. Those creeps had stolen your money and left you without paying.

Baekhyun looked at his watch and took his wallet out of his pocket. 10:04pm.

He stuffed $800 dollars in your bag, and looked down at you asleep in his lap as he stroked your hair.

The whole time you slept Baekhyun couldn’t help but run his fingers along the lines of your jaw, lips, and brows. Although he hated that those guys had gotten you like this, now, peacefully asleep in his lap, he thought you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He ran his thumb across your cheek and noticed your eye twitch, and then open. As you looked up at him, he knew you were still too far gone to understand what was happening.

“What’sgoingon” you slurred, rubbing your eyes and sitting up.

“Some guys got you way too drunk, and then you hit your head.”

“Ohhhh” you sighed absentmindedly, not really having heard or understood what Baekhyun said.

“Come here, you’re still drunk.”

You seemed to listen, laying your head back in his lap and dozing off again. Another hour went by and he looked at his watch. It was after midnight, so he put another stack of cash in your bag. The movement seemed to be enough to wake you up this time, and when you opened your eyes you were a bit more aware of your surroundings. You shifted to lay on your back, looking directly up at him.

“Baekhyun” you groaned, still fairly drunk “why are you here?”

“I’m here every Saturday night.” He replied simply, smiling down at you in his lap. Gently he moved a strand of hair out of your face, and you felt yourself go red. Although you were now sober enough to know something was very wrong, with the way he looked at you in that moment, with so much warmth and admiration, you couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside.

You closed your eyes again and smiled, enjoying the feeling of Baekhyun caressing your cheek with the back of his hand in your drunken haze. No matter what shit had gone down earlier in the night, and why you were here with your head in his lap, this felt like bliss. You could’ve stayed like that for hours, just enjoying his gentle hands admiring your face.

“What time is it?” You asked lazily.

“12:15.”

“Fuck.” Your head snapped up and you sat next to Baekhyun, immediately feeling dizzy due to your intoxication. Head pounding, you rubbed your temples to try to relive some of the pain. “It’s that late? You never stay this late.”

“You’ve been sleeping for a while now.”

“Huh?”

“How are you feeling?

“Kind of drunk... and my head hurts. But what happened?” You slurred your words slightly, alcohol still apparent in your system.

He looked at you with sorry eyes. “Well, some assholes got you fucked up out of your mind. After I got here they came down the stairs and basically just dumped you into an empty chair and left, so I took you up here to sleep it off. You hit your head too, so be careful.” He rubbed the lump on the side of your head again, making you groan.

The terrified look on your face told him all he needed to know. He was about to see you cry for the first time, and he felt his heart drop.

“W-what? They took me upstairs?” A tear escaped, and more followed. “Who?”

“I don’t know. Some younger guys. I’d have beat the shit out of them if it wouldn’t get me kicked out.” You sensed the anger in his voice as he spoke. “Your bag was empty too by the way.”

Slowly you started piecing things together in your head, stomach churning with disgust and now fully crying.

“W-what, h-how did I-”

“No. This wasn’t your fault.” He interrupted, afraid this would happen. Afraid you would blame yourself. “They were assholes. They knew what they were doing.”

In reality, Baekhyun blamed himself. He knew you’d probably been nervous about whether or not he would show up. He should’ve been there earlier. But all that mattered now is that you were okay. At least physically.

As you sat next to him, head in your hands crying, he felt helpless. All he wanted to do was hold you tight and tell you all the things he was too scared to say out loud. But all he could manage was a comforting hand on your shoulder.

Your sobs got more intense and he was caught off guard when you threw your arms around him, head buried into his chest as you kept quietly crying. Reluctantly, his arms found their way around you as well, holding you as you shook in his arms.

“Hey hey, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re okay now. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” He said softly, rubbing soothing circles onto your back.

“Thank you” you choked out between sobs. Embarrassed, but still too drunk to stop yourself, you held on to Baekhyun tighter and tighter. You hated to admit it but you already felt much better with his arms wrapped around you. The gentle feeling of his chest rising and falling against yours, compared to your erratic breaths, felt like heaven. “Thank you, l-I’m sorry.” 

“Shhh” he said, stroking your hair. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“B-but you stayed here with m-me the whole time.” You sobbed.

“That’s okay, I came here to spend time with you didn’t I?”

“Why are you like this? W-why me?” You asked, leaning back to look at him.

Baekhyun sighed.

You’d avoided the question when you were sober for a reason. You knew Baekhyun liked you too much, more than he should, and you didn’t need to know the details. It would only make you feel more guilty later. But now, with alcohol to give you courage you didn’t hold back.

“You know how much I like you.” He responds quietly, giving you a soft smile. “It’s stupid, I know.”

Another tear fell, and Baekhyun was quick to wipe it away. Even with makeup running down your face he looked at you with a tenderness that made it difficult to feel anything but a comforting warmth.

You stared at him, trying to find some form of deceit in his eyes, some hint that he was just messing with you, but all you saw was his admiration and care for you.

Another sob rolled through you and you wrapped your arms back around him. He held you like that for a while, and slowly the tears lessened and you calmed down a bit.

You pulled away from him and looked around the room, realizing where you were and thought to yourself how silly it all was. You were in a dance room, just sleeping on the couch all night as Baekhyun stayed and made sure you were alright. Every other time you’d been in here with him, your ass was on his lap grinding on him.

“Do you want a dance or anything?”

Baekhyun just laughed, “Don’t worry about me, I’m just as happy doing this. As long as I get to spend time with you.”

“Okay.” You said, but you made yourself comfortable on his lap anyway, legs stretched across the couch. You wrapped your arms around him again, and rested your head on his shoulder. He put an arm around your waist and you just sat like that for a while, enjoying each other’s embrace.

He hadn’t been lying, he’d take this over a lap dance any day. To have your arms around him like this, not because he paid you, but because you wanted to, for him nothing could beat that. The skin of your waist felt so soft beneath his palms, he thought he must be dreaming.

The sober part of you wanted to scream at you to get up. But when Baekhyun’s hands felt so warm and comforting on you, the drunken haze took over and you just basked in the feeling. In the back of your mind you knew you’d regret tonight’s events later, but now it felt too good to ignore. With your head resting on his shoulder and the sound of his heartbeat in your ear, you just felt right. Like this was where you were supposed to be. 

“Do you want me to take you home soon? I don’t think you should be driving yourself tonight.” Baekhyun asked, and your lips pulled into a pout. 

“Can we stay like this a little longer.” You lifted your head to look at him, and when you made eye contact, Baekhyun couldn’t help but grin. 

“Of course sweetheart, if that’s what you want.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at the pet name. That was the first time Baekhyun had called you anything like that before. He usually just called you by your name (or in the past, your stripper name). You didn’t mind, but you couldn’t help but find the word heart fluttering nonetheless. You laid your head back on his shoulder, and watched as he slowly ran his hand up and down your thigh. 

“You have such pretty hands.” You told him, reaching for the hand on your thigh. He didn’t respond, only laced his hands into yours, rubbing the back with his thumb. You kept silencing the voice in the back of your mind that was screaming at you to get up, to push Baekhyun away. But when his presence was this sweet and comforting you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 

“Everything about you is pretty.” Your face burned red at his words. “So, so beautiful.”  

“You’re pretty cute too.” The alcohol did a good job of bringing the words out of you that you’d usually know better than to say out loud. 

Much to your dismay, Baekhyun moved you off his lap and got up, putting his hand out for you to stand up as well. 

“Let’s get you back home, it’s late and you’re still drunk.” At first you pouted again, but you eventually agreed. You grabbed his hand and got your shoes back on, following him back down the stairs. Your manager saw and gave you a strange look, but you ignored it. You went back to the dressing room to change and met Baekhyun again in the parking lot. Being seen leaving with customers looked bad, and after being upstairs for hours with him you didn’t want to raise any more suspicions. 

 You spotted him leaning against a black Audi, and you let him open the door for you and got in. You told him your address and he pulled out of the lot. For most of the car ride home you were silent. You still felt bad that Baekhyun had come to see you just for all of this to happen, and now he was having to drive you home too since you had gotten too wasted.

“I’m sorry, for everything. You just wanted a fun couple of hours and you got stuck babysitting my drunk ass.” 

“You know I don’t mind, I’m just glad you’re safe now.” He said as he was pulling up to your place. He parked, but looked over to you before getting out. “Can I give you my number? You don’t need to use it if you don’t want to, but I just want you to have it so you can call me if you’re in trouble again.” 

You looked him in the eyes again, looking for some sort of ulterior motives, but found them filled with nothing but care and warmth. “Okay.”

He looked surprised, but you just handed him your phone and let him put in his number. 

“I don’t want you to think you have to text me or call me or anything, I just feel better knowing you can contact me if you need someone.” 

You smiled. “I know.” 

Baekhyun got out to open the door for you, and when you stepped out you found yourself wrapping your arms around him again tightly.  “Thank you. Seriously, I don’t even wanna think about what could’ve happened tonight if it weren’t for you.” 

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, it’s no big deal. You know I’m happy as long as I’m with you.” 

You didn’t want to let go. The feeling of your head resting against his broad chest and his arms around you felt too sweet, too good to be true.

He’s the one who breaks away first. You could see his eyes scan your face, spending especially long on your lips. Your face heated up as you noticed the proximity between the two of you. 

“I, um.. I should get inside. Thanks for the ride.” You said, grabbing your bag  and quickly walking to the door. Baekhyun waved you goodbye and waited until you were inside to get back in his car and drive himself home. 

You almost immediately threw yourself into bed and passed out, but Baekhyun couldn’t stop thinking about your words and actions from earlier. The way you clung onto him as you cried, how happy you seemed to be sitting on his lap cuddled up to him, how you’d called him cute. His mind raced with the possibility of you maybe, possibly, being able to like him the way he liked you. He told himself it was just the alcohol, that you would never have acted like that sober. 

But he couldn’t help hoping he was wrong. 

As the night went on he only found himself falling deeper and deeper into thought. With nothing but the darkness of his bedroom to keep him company, he felt hyper aware of the emptiness around him. 

Baekhyun hated sleeping alone already, and with the thoughts of your sweet words and actions running rampant in his mind, it felt impossible. How was he supposed to relax when you had just called him cute? The night drew on and on, but Baekhyun didn’t sleep. Not when the feeling of your hands around his body was still so fresh in his mind. 

He was so close to what he yearned for more than anything, yet still so far. 

Next Chapter

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