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socstudies · 8 months

Note

Hi, as someone who is going to be in their first year of college this fall, I'm curious about the note taking part

Is physical or digital note taking easier?

Is spending money on a laptop nessesary?

What is something you wish you would've done differently during your first year?

Do you have any advice?

If by any chance you see this, your blog and your aesthetic are amazing!

I'm wishing you a wonderful day/night.

If you do decide to reply, thank you in advance <3

helloo! sorry for the late reply & thank u for the ask! :)

ive tried both and i think i prefer handwritten notes, however they both have their pros and cons:

handwritten pros

proven to be better for retaining information

can't get distracted by other tabs

lighter to carry

costs less than a laptop

i've had some classes where we weren't allowed to use laptops so it's good to already be used to taking notes this way

cons:

much slower. sometimes i find im missing stuff and i have to go back to it at the end

have to print out diagrams etc if u want to include them

could possibly lose them, spill something etc

not enough space on desk for both laptop and notebook so u can't get slides up or google something

digital pros:

much quicker

easier to organise & pull up different notes at any time - u don't need to carry around or find older notebooks to be able to study or refer back to past classes

some people make notes directly onto the slides which u would have to print out if u wanted to do by hand

can also use for research and writing essays which u will need a computer for at some point so might as well do everything in one place

cons:

expensive

more stressful if u lose or break it

if u forget to charge it and u don't have paper .......

this upcoming year, im using a combination. most of the time i'll handwrite my notes, but for classes where they talk too quickly i'll type them (it's not worth the stress & extra time having to go back to recordings after). my notes for readings will be annotated straight onto the pdf. i'll be taking pictures of notes to put them all together.

---

unfortunately, i think it is because you'll need computer access to research and write ur essays, as well as to find course information etc. HOWEVER some universities (most?) have laptops that u can borrow and computers in the library, so if u know that you'll be motivated enough to get up and do all of ur work on campus, you could save this cost - bare in mind when u move off campus after first year it might be even harder. definitely look into this if cost is an issue for you! it doesn't need to be a fancy one if u do buy a laptop though, just remember u'll be carrying it around so don't get a super heavy one!

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as for something i wish i'd done differently: as a sociology student, none of my classes have exams where i have to memorise things, instead it's all essay based. this led me to not 'study' i guess ??? like the stuff that i wrote my essays on, i knew like the back of my hand, but everything else i couldn't remember well. so if ur taking an essay based subject, remember that u still need to study a little & remember these things !! i was so overwhelmed tbh that i forgot about this oopsie!

---

extra advice:

when people say that after u skip one class, u'll skip the rest THEY. MEAN. IT. literally try so hard not to miss class bc you will never go again if u do. my classes would start off with not enough seats for everybody and end up with just a handful of us by the end of term.....

make time for urself !! it can become all consuming, especially if u live on campus, but pls make some dedicated time away from studying !!

u will find ur friends eventually. pls remember that it won't last or be that fun if u stick with friends who u don't have that much in common with just bc they were the first u met. tell me why i was going to bars and clubs with people in first term bc that;s what they wanted to do ????? it's ok to move onto different people bc u will eventually get tired of doing these things u don't like just to be able to hang out with people !! now i go to bookstores and cafes with my new friends and i love it!! don't settle !!

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 1 year

Text

imagines/ headcanons (M.M x Reader)

warnings: none! just cute fluffy stuff that’s makes us sad to think about

wc: 1k

note: you guys so are lucky for me to give you an insight into our relationship unfortunately I am kidding but I really wish I wasn’t

these are just some things that I think, but if you don’t agree that’s cool too - some of these may be self indulgent

masterlist + rules

taglist

very empathetic and deeply compassionate

he’s definitely someone you can trust, especially if you go to him with a problem

an amazing listener

the softest and sweetest most babiest of babygirls

extremely protective - sometimes to a fault, but it all comes from a good place (always wants you to be safe)

very touchy always has to be touching you- feel like it’s usually hands, waist or face

when you order takeaways it’s usually chinese or pizza- feel like you probably cook for the both of you, but when you don’t want to it’s most likely one of those

he’s great with animals- I can see him with a cat, probably named something religious

I had this thought that you’d try to find new textures and things for him to feel- like you’d go out and find new stuff for him to try (like you’d both make a game or date out if it)

he’s very patient, and someone who is very understanding

he’d definitely know you better than you know yourself

your heartbeat is definitely something that grounds him- something that helps him sleep at night

you’re his safe place, as he is to you

humongous softie

you keep loads of first aid kits around his apartment- there’s tonnes stashed everywhere. and you often help clean him and mend him if and when he’s injured

he hates to leave you at night, feel like you might not like it either (not knowing if he’ll be back) but you also know he can’t not do it

^ you wait up for him every night

feel like he enjoys when you take care of him- eventhough he can take care of himself and doesn’t want to burden- he likes when you physically care for him; maybe you help trim his stubble or help him organise

if home was a person

respectful bbg

can sometimes get a little jealous and possessive

feel like he gets really overwhelmed and possibly very frustrated with himself

he always wants to help people and feels really guilty when he can’t- you always reassure him that’s it’s not all his responsibility etc

he probably gets earaches quite a bit- you get him things to help soothe it

feel like he’s a cherry person (idrk what that means, but when I look at people they sometimes look like fruit flavours, like Karen is strawberry, Foggy is blackcurrant- to me it makes sense)

very charismatic

goofy like he is in the comics

man spreads a lot - sprawls out on sofa

loves a good head scratch (bc he is a good boy ofc) likes his hair played with

you try to introduce him to new music and podcasts

he can see right through you

will always be ready to fight someone for you

you have inside jokes about how he’s was such a wh0re before you (he’s not called Matthew man-whore Murdock for nothing)

he probably jokes a lot about his lack of sight, sometimes you forget that he is actually blind, “you should see this.” “I can’t” like that kinda thing, but it’s always light and jokey- he’d never actually be offended

he doesn’t talk about you in public in front of everyone- not in a bad way, just to keep your name safe. only Foggy and Karen know about you- but they love you and love that you’re good for Matt

he literally worships that ground you walk on- admires the heck out of you. thinks you’re the most beautiful person

he’s a very reliable person

you like to help him with cases- eventhough you’re not actually allowed

protected x protector

feel like you don’t use the big lights in the apartment- you just have lots of candles around the place instead (so it’s the best of both worlds)

he loves when you read to him

drink beer together late at night- chatting and hanging out

would do anything for you

love language wise

physical touch- very touchy, loves to hold you. you help calm him etc

acts of service- he always wants to help you- no matter how big or small

quality time- he’d deeply value the time you share together, whether that be an activity together or doing different things in same space

gift giving- he probably has some trouble with this, maybe gets Foggy to get it for him (he tells him what to get) but he’s very thoughtful, so it’ll be something you’d appreciate

words of affirmation- says tonnes of cute and sweet pet names like angel, sweetheart etc. tells you how special you are

———

very encouraging

feel like he tries to look you in the eyes, but it’s for your benefit- wants to show you that he’s paying attention

he knows if and when you’re anxious, sad or uneasy etc- always knows how to help

you comfort and reassure him a lot- you don’t care how many times you have to say it either

he tries to block everything out when with you

thumb strokes on your cheeks

to him you are like fluoxetine in human form

you’re probably always getting him new suits and under-armour

very cheeky and flirtatious. sometimes cocky but in a good way- not the way that’s annoying to be around

enamoured with you

lots of pining at the beginning

great in bed (lmao sorry, couldn’t not include)

he puts a lot of pressure on himself

he knows what you want and need before you do

knows when you’re near

he loves when your heart skips a beat when you see him, it makes him feel special

he also feels and adores how excited and happy you get when listening to your fave songs or watching favourite shows

you kiss his scars to show him how much you love him

very attentive

“you’re so pretty Matt”

sometimes feels inadequate- you constantly reassure him, again you don’t care how many times you have to say it

to me his song as daredevil would be ‘28 days later slowed-soaphie’ (I was just listening to it and to me it makes perfect sense)

he’s always losing and misplacing stuff

thinks you have the sweetest and most purest personality

if you want to describe something you see, you draw them with your fingertips on him

he gets you red flowers- asks the florist for something read and pretty

you made him a ‘I am not Daredevil’ sweater, he loves it and wears all the time at home

if you’re walking together arm-in-arm on the street and people don’t move out the way, you say something like “hey! watch it.” bc you hate the thought of them being so oblivious- but Matt loves it when you do that

always caressing you, loves your curves- arms, hips, legs, the lot

likes to trace over your nose bridge and lips

you got him to draw a small heart (it won’t be perfect but that’s the point) and you get it tattooed on yourself

————

psa: being in love with a man that doesn’t exist sucks ass🥲

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fairycosmos · 7 months

Note

really urgent

do you have any advice for dealing with violent, aggressive younger siblings? I try to avoid them both as much as I can but I you know tell him to do the dishes or no, I won’t share my food with him and he’ll kick me, scream or yell and he always taunts me oh are you scared I’ll hit you? and I’m physically disabled, weak, have no balance and it’s so humiliating. and I just have to take it and pretend I don’t care. I also always tell myself to just ignore him like never interact with him again unless my dad tells me to or sth and only then but idk I can never keep my promise. UGH now I’m crying because I don’t know what to do. Like they both threaten violence, one is 15 the other 19, but they’re both really strong and muscular. None of my friends understands because most of them are only children or simply don’t live in an insane family. I hate them both so much and I hate that I’m scared of them and that they know it. They’re also both big misogynists and this is like stuff that they’ll brag about to their friends. I’ve tried telling my parents but they don’t really listen, they either don’t believe or tell me it’s my fault if they retaliate. I also can’t tell my grandparents bc it’s humiliating and also I think they would think that I’m exaggerating. But idk what to do and it’s getting annoying. and also dangerous. help (like there’ve been times my brother and his friends have chased me through my town I mean literally, like I had to run away and hide. Or times when the older one has p*ssed on my bed. The older one also at times has threatened to use a knife on my mom and cut her, so she’s also scared off him, which is why she won’t intervene) 😐

hey, thank you for reaching out to me. this is so so messed up and i'm so sorry you have to deal with it - i literally can not fathom the gravity of what you're going through and the fear you have to live with every day. it's completely unacceptable and no matter what, there is no justifying the shit you've been forced to put up with - while i absolutely understand that your parents are scared of your brothers too, they have a duty of care and responsibility to protect you and they are not seeing it through by allowing this to continue. i know it's very nuanced and i'm not blaming anyone other than your brothers for how they're acting, but none of this is fair to you at all. i also understand that telling your grandparents seems like a scary, daunting prospect but if it is something that is on the cards i really urge you to consider it. write down what you need to say if that helps you get your thoughts organised. if you're worried about having to prove their behaviour, would you parents not at least consider backing you up on this? are you able to record a snippet of these meltdowns to show them? though you truly should not have to go to those lengths, it's awful. you just deserve all the support you can possibly get, and i don't want fear of not being believed to stop you from seeking that.

this is a very serious situation and i'm worried about giving you the wrong advice that could possibly exacerbate things. staying in your room and completely disengaging from them as much as possible is definitely recommended as a first step, but there has to be other resources you can possibly look into. i'm going to leave various links below that can offer you that support and those coping mechanisms and i hope you at least check some of them out - i wish i could offer more insight myself but your brothers sound extremely dangerous and i think it's urgent that you reach out to family, friends, communal support, your GP, or the authorities that are actually tangibly around you. i know that's infinitely easier said than done, and i'm not expecting you to gain some superhuman amount of courage that will allow you to sort everything out overnight. that's not your job. it is absolutely 100% understandable that you are scared and traumatised by their actions. what i am saying is that you are clearly at a place where you know this isn't right and that it can not continue, and that the resources below can help guide you towards reaching out and also coping with the situation at hand. i hope you're able to check them out, even just one or two, and implement them into your life moving forward. again, i'm so so sorry you're dealing with this and i hope you know that there are people who can help, that you are not doomed to live in this exact situation forever. sending so so much love your way, please reach out if and when possible. you do not deserve this and i am rooting for you with all of my heart. if you need a friend, someone to talk to a more specific form of support please reach out to me and i will try my best to help as much as i am able. x

if you're under 18 - please please consider reaching out to a teacher, a friend's parent or CPS/childline (resources for that here, here, here and here.) if you are in ever in immediate danger, call the authorities immediately. it is ok to put yourself first.

info on sibling abuse

international abuse helplines

disability and abuse helpline

getting help for domestic violence

domestic violence safety plan pdf

info on toxic siblings and estrangement

living with abuse: coping mechanisms pdf

abuse: self help guide pdf

the survivors handbook: support for disabled women

disability & abuse resource

simple trauma coping mechanisms pdf

coping with trauma worksheets/exercises pdf list

how to report domestic abuse 1

how to report domestic abuse 2

how to report domestic abuse 3

women with disabilities: how to identify abuse and get help

anxiety: coping mechanisms pdf

healing from domestic abuse pdf

surviving domestic abuse pdf

domestic abuse: survivors handbook pdf

identifying and coping with emotional abuse

#anon #tw abuse #tw domestic abuse #tw violence #tw domestic violence

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minimoefoe · 6 months

Text

pre-8b ftwd ramblings

I have thoughts about 8b so I thought I’d make a post just going through them to get them out of my brain ready for tomorrow and bc it’ll be cool to look back on later. I tried to keep this post semi-organised but it’s defo a bit messy

I haven’t read through every single spoiler/leak that’s out there but I have seen/heard a few bits here and there so maybe don’t read if you wanna avoid them. feel free to add on to this or send me asks about it or whatever, I’m down to hear what ppl think

under the cut bc it's long

character that aren’t Troy thoughts

Charlie - last time we saw her she was literally dying of radiation poisoning and it was implied (/maybe even straight up stated idr) that she was going to die fairly soon but now she’s in promo pics looking completely recovered and I just don’t know how I feel about it. I think if they do something interesting with her instead of just having her back for the sake of it then it’s kinda whatever like okay she’s alive, fine. tho it does take a lot of the weight out of what happened with her in the previous season. I’ve seen in a leak that Madison finds out about Charlie being the one to kill Nick and sends Charlie to Troy (which we’ve seen in promo pics) as a way to basically prove herself/gain forgiveness and I am pretty interested in seeing that play out so

Strand - I was excited to see him reunite with Madison but that has already been shown (idk if it was official or a leak) which is kinda annoying like I wish we coulda had that be surprise bc them seeing each other again is a big deal but whatever I guess. I hope we see them be a duo a bit throughout 8b bc they were great in prev seasons. I found Strand annoying as hell in s7 and his whole pretending to be a different person thing in that clip we’ve seen doesn’t spark much joy like he just irritates me so other than him seeing Madison again I can’t say I have that much interest in whatever it is he has going on. there are some seasons where I don’t mind him as much tho so idk maybe he’ll turn it around somewhere in these eps and I’ll like him again

Daniel - over the last season or three Daniel has grown on me quite a lot so I’m looking forward to seeing more of him. I worry about him potentially wanting to kill Troy which, idk, is it fair enough to want to kill the guy responsible for your daughter’s death? Yes. Do I think he should be over it after 12yrs? Kinda.. I mean, Daniel has got up to a lot through the last few seasons and I think his relationship with Charlie helped a lot with his sadness, anger, etc surrounding Ophelia so while I think it’s obviously fair enough for him to dislike Troy still, I don’t want there to be some ‘Daniel desperately wants to murder Troy in his sleep’ subplot like, hate him, say mean shit to him but I do not care about his sadness about Ophelia anymore sorry move on

Luciana - I don’t really have any huge wants or fears for Luciana in these final eps I just hope she gets some fun stuff to do. I think there’s some small clips in the trailer where it looks like she’s stood with Troy with a bunch of other ppl around which is cool and I’m interested to see how they intersect with each other. I liked her and Daniel a lot in the last season so seeing more of them as a duo would be nice too and I obviously want to see her and Madison reunite

June - I like June but I have zero hopes wants or fears for her. Kill her, don’t kill her, I don’t think I really care. She is not what I’m in these six eps for literally at all

Dwight and Sherry - I beg they get a happy ending like please omfg. I’d kinda kill for them to go back to Alexandria (/the Commonwealth) and be a part of whatever it is they have planned in terms of bringing all the current spin-offs together into one thing. seeing them reunite with a few people and see Negan again would be very cool. I know they go back to the Sanctuary for whatever reason in 8b so they’re gonna be in the area, why not stay there… tbh I don’t know what it would take for them to do that bc I don’t think that’s something either of them would actually want to do but I would like to see it lmao

plot stuff and Troy thoughts

I really don’t want Troy to die. I’ve seen some ppl say they worry it’ll happen and bc of Stuff They Know it’s not looking great for him but I am choosing to not hold onto that too much and have some amount of faith in the writers (which may make me an idiot but whatever). if he doesn’t survive, I hope he dies for a good reason (like to save Madison and/or his daughter) and that he dies in one of the final two episodes and not early on bc bringing a character like Troy back and retconning a death that imo was actually good only to use him for a few eps and kill him again for stupid reasons would just be insane

Troy having a daughter (especially one that he seems to have had via actually getting with a woman lmao) has still not computed in my mind and I’ve had this info for months now. I’ve kinda accepted that it’s a thing that’s happening and I am actually looking forward to seeing it play out but it still doesn’t connect fully lmao. there are aspects of Troy being a dad that I’m excited for like seeing him be protective over someone and presumably caring about someone more than he cares for himself. like sorry to my boy but I wanna see him be angry and sad and lose his mind over things related to getting his kid back bc I think seeing Troy in that state bc he cares about someone so much would just be so interesting

why the fuck is Troy’s daughter (according to leaks so take it with a grain of salt I guess) called Tracy like… I’m hopeful for these six episodes but I fear there is no universe where the writers have put actual thought into that name and what it would mean for Troy to call his kid that. there’s just so much to unpack?? first of all it’s sad as hell like, genuinely, the idea that Troy would name his kid after a mother who he knows didn’t love him is the saddest shit I’ve ever heard and is something that should absolutely be dived into through these eps bc what state of mind does he have to been in all these years later to do that. like is it a thing of he’s accepted that his mother didn’t love him but she was important to him and this is his way of kind of taking back something from that time in his life? idek how to word it. or is it a thing of he’s kinda delusional and has reinvented his mother in his mind into the kind of person who deserves to have a kid named after her? or is it something else? or is it that thing show/movies do where they just name kids after ppl for no fuckin reason bc they just can’t think of new names? I know what I’m betting on

Troy being the villain is very unsurprising like duh but I hope there’s more to it than just him being the bad guy and nothing else. from trailers and misc stuff I’ve seen I’m wondering if maybe his villainy is basically just to do with him wanting his daughter back and at a certain point there will be a switch where him and Madison and co will end up begrudgingly working together on the same goal.

I think Troy’s ‘you took everything from me’ line is referencing his daughter and not the dam bc like.. it’s been 12yrs. I think him still be pissed about the dam is reasonable (much like Daniel still being pissed about Ophelia is reasonable) but Troy finding Madison after all these years all bc of that would be silly. I think the thing Madison took from Troy is his daughter and he basically just caught her (like we’ve seen in that leaked scene) bc he knows she knows about padre and where to find it etc (which I swear we’ve seen him say in a trailer somewhere, like he’s asked what padre is/where to find it) and then somewhere in there obviously everyone is gonna disagree on shit which is why we’ve seen things like the leaked bts thing of Troy and Madison going for each other out in the dark, or him facing of with Luciana. like it seems like maybe chances are they have similar goals (save the kids) but maybe just conflicting ideas about how to go about doing that and knowing Troy he’ll probs get carried away quicker and have more extreme ideas

okay I just rewatched a trailer after typing up that last bullet point and now I’m actually thinking that Troy’s goal is to destroy padre whereas Madison and co’s goal is to keep it safe and that’s what the big fight is about. which also does make sense now that I’m thinking about it. I do still agree my initial thought of Troy wants to get to Madison probably partly bc he just wants to see her again but mainly bc he wants info on padre and he obviously know she has that info bc of the radio message she sent out. and then it somehow turns into I guess Madison wants to save padre and idk make it a better place whereas Troy just wants to destroy the whole thing (presumably once he gets his daughter back? or knowing Troy I wouldn’t put it past him it go in there guns blazing and maybe not think through the fact that his child is in there and could get caught in it. tho maybe he assumes she’s dead). that makes me worry that Troy really is gonna stay in villain mode of the whole season but idk, maybe somewhere in there he will be convinced of a different way to do things, and like I said before, result in them begrudgingly working together

I was thinking that Daniel saying about the dead being Troy’s army wasn’t him saying it as a warning to watch out but as a statement of like almost support for Troy like ‘this guy knows what he’s doing when it comes to weaponising the dead’ but now I don’t think that’s the case bc going by trailers it does seem like Troy is in the opposing side to everyone

I’m interested in the scene where two characters, presumably Troy and Madison, fall off a bridge bc I’m like why are they on the bridge in the first place. I really hope it’s bc they’re going somewhere together and working on something together and not like they’re chasing each other down to murder each other and happen to end up on a dodgy bridge

what the fuck is in that tub thing that Madison has. If it’s Nick’s ashes like I saw someone suggest/saw in a leak I will die bc that it so stupid

also saw in a leak that Madison assumes that Troy murdered the mother of his child which is very interesting. I like the idea that she thinks that but it turns out she actually killed her whenever she took Troy’s kid to padre. Idk. I’m interested to see any kind of background on how Troy got to where he is now. I’m not holding out too much hope for a ton of focus on it, liike I feel like literal flashbacks might be too much to ask for, but I need them to give us something I guess via Troy talking about it (which feels like something he’s not likely to want to do but idk, I can also see him and Madison having the ability to have actual convos with each other despite their relationship obviously being bad like the convos wouldn’t be loving but I can see them telling each other misc things)

thinking about how this is only gonna be six episodes fucks with me bc I feel like I have a lot of wants/hopes for things I wanna see but then I’m like oh yeah this is six episodes in a show with a main cast of like 10 people, Troy is so not gonna get the amount of air time I’d like and it’s gonna be very sad lmao. I don’t want the writers to dismiss other characters bc they did that in the past and I think it’s just shitty but I do hope they kinda recognise that a lot of ppl are probs gonna be watching for Troy and he should get the focus he needs to make him coming back worth it

I saw like two ppl on twitter a few weeks ago theorise about a potential spin-off coming from this spin-off and when I say I need it so badly like.. please. I don’t think there is any evidence to support that a spin-off is coming but i for some reason have this tiny part of me that thinks it’s not impossible. basically I would want it to be a Troy and Madison (or just Troy) spin-off and honestly with how good dead city and daryl dixon were i would have hope it would be pretty good if we got a spin-off that is just centred around a couple of characters instead of an ensemble thing ftwd has going on rn. tbh depending on how s8 ends in terms of where their relationship lies, a Troy and Madison spin-off could be very Maggie and Negan in dead city coded which I would loooove a lot. the final ep

I think Alicia is gonna make an appearance. saw a thing somewhere that said like, someone unexpected shows up or something like that and I’m like…..

I just re-read this so (assuming all of it is true which it may not be idk) I now have a few more tbihgths that i cba integrate into what I’ve already written so it’s going here instead

It says Troy’s daughter goes missing which is vague as fuck but I feel like Troy’s daughter being with padre is the only thing that makes Troy being so passionate about padre make sense so maybe it means she escapes padre, they get her back and then she goes missing or maybe they know she’s in padre but just can’t find her for whatever reason. we know she pops up in front of Madison and asks her something (idr what) so I’m very interested in seeing Madison spend time with Troy’s kid. and I think her finding out/realising it’s Troy’s kid has potential to be funny too

Troy’s daughter’s mum being someone who saved him from the dam makes sense to me like yeah. the person in the screenshot I leaked said he seemed like he might be lying but they also said they think the actual mother might be Alicia so like I’m not holding onto their analysis too much bc that would be dumb as hell

Charlie killing herself a couple of eps into 8b is so stupid like why even bother bringing her back like you’ve retconned her dying of radiation poisoning only to bring her back and barely use her. it’s defo possible she kills herself bc she knows the poisoning is catching up with her but idk, that’s still stupid. I am excited to see her scenes with Madison and Troy but it feels pointless in the grand scheme of things bc these six eps already have enough characters to juggle why add Charlie when there was a simple way of writing her out right there already

conclusion idk

I feel like I had a lot more to say and I kinda regret not making tons of notes over the last few months about my misc thoughts bc it woulda made it a lot easier to compile them all into one post but oh well. overall I think I’m way more excited than I am nervous. there are probs some things they could do that would really irritate me but for the most part I feel like I’m kinda good at just accepting what is happening in a show and being like okay this is what we’re doing now idk

I think one thing that wouldn’t be my fave is if Troy is just 100% villain for the whole season like, if they don’t end it with him joining them (begrudgingly or otherwise) like I’d like, even with him in the villain role I think there is room there to show his non villain side and how he does have a lot going on as a character. but for things like him dying, even though it would suck and imo be a stupid choice, I can see myself being fine with it if it’s done decently

and as for all my theories about what could actually happen story wise, if I’m wrong I’m wrong idrc. it possible a lot of the leaks I’ve seen are waffle but for the purposes of this post it was just easier to go in assuming they’re real. theorising honestly stresses me out bc I hate talking about what ifs like I just wanna know what’s going in fr and analyse that instead of having to think about all these different directions things could go bc we don’t have many concrete answers right now

idk how to end this. bye

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vogelmeister · 4 days

Text

anyways i’m thinking about my birthday and im wondering what i should do (its in june). i dont wanna just go out to dinner because i did that last year and it was basically just… ik i can do better. whatever i do i know ill probably do on the friday or saturday night before or after bc my birthday is a weekday. it will also probably be my high school group (5 ppl) my hometown friends (2 ppl) and my work bestie (1 ppl).

1. powerpoint night.

pros:

- its cheap. can be done at my house and is really casual

- this is something i’ve wanted to do for a while (i actually wanted one for my 19th but my ex friends talked me out of it because they wouldn’t like it)

- my friends who havent met my cat can meet my cat

cons:

- will be getting a few different groups of friends together so it may be awkward for these people to present/ find topic

- my sister turned the ‘hangout space” into her hsc study area and really is anti giving it up for one night (i tried once). also her stuff gives bad vodoo bc hsc

- will probably have to kick family out

- i feel some ppl find the notion of a powerpoint presentation stressful bc high school (probably why my ex friends weren’t too keen)

- my house isnt great for public transport and funnily enough the friends who live furthest away don’t have their license . its a locals only bus service. you can tell.

2. escape room

pros

- really easy team building plus it doesn’t matter if its all different groups /some people don’t know each other well.

cons.

- expensive as fuck

- done lots of escape rooms

- doing with lots of people can be overwhelming and smaller teams kinda work better here (i did an escape room once and the team was like ten people and it was Too Much. i stood there useless half the time.)

3. quiz room

pros.

- really cool and unique also im a sucker for trivia and irl game show sounds cool.

- probably good for my desired group size.

- public transport accessible

cons.

- its literally $45 pp and like ik my friends aren’t that stingy but even im going… yikes

- will probably have to be organised far in advance

4. karaoke

pros.

- really affordable if you do it right

- reliable. really easy to organise and i know how to.

- public transport accessible

cons.

- my friends and i do this all the time

- once again the three ppl there who don’t really know my high school friends might find it awkward

- if i do it i wanna go somewhere other than my place in chinatown

anyways idk. sound off in replies if you have advice or ideas bc i generally do not know anymore. might out up a poll.

#i love an around the world dress up theme but like i know two of my friends would do japan haha #i would go as netherlands ofc #but one if my friends in nl did like glow in the dark mini golf and then we all went out afterwards for dinner and it was fun #i wanna do something like that #like an activity then dinner #i haven’t done a games night in a while either so idk #i just don’t wanna do a birthday dinner and nothing else #also northern hemisphere badies keep in mind june IS winter before u suggest beach day #ill talk to my mum after my sister’s birthday is done #oh now im scared bc my childhood friends havent met my work friend and they're v protective of me and are my hs friend's biggest critics #like they were telling me to drop my ex friend's for years and had to sit while i defended them bc “they're great they just have flaws”#they also hated my ex for how he treated me #and my highschool friends that werent my ex friends almost had to earn their reputation back after the Break Up of 2022 #now they're all cool #i might give my work friend a whos who next time we are on shift together

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bondsmagii · 1 year

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Man if we are talking about bad takes I have one for you: this whole eat the rich movement

And you know why? People can't discern who the rich are!! Like they are coming after doctors and lawyers and artists, people who made their money working, instead of focusing in the people who made their money by exploiting people like businessmen which is the whole point and my god people are goddamn stupid like the whole point of eating the rich was to go against exploitation "boss makes a dollar I make a dime" and like thats 99% of rich people yet Tumblr users see a doctor with a vacation house and lose it completely like my dude having money is not the problem, the problem is when people have money because they took it from you!! Anyways the whole thing has become such a joke and if I see one more person talking about celebrities when they say eat the rich imma legit lose it because taylor swift might be rich but she's rich bc you bought her stuff my guy not because she made you work and took about all of your profit

So yeah a lot of bad takes on this site that come from good places but have zero critical thinking behind it

people not being able to identify the Actual Rich terrifies me. like, they do realise that they're reinventing the concept of kulaks, right?

to an extent, I can get the idea of people being pissed off at very rich doctors in countries like America, where the healthcare system is there for profit. that's exploitative and fucked up, and while I understand that not all doctors are in it for the money, granted some of them are and they are using an exploitative system to get it -- but the real issue there is the healthcare system, rather than individual doctors. (in the UK, the idea of a rich healthcare professional is actually laughable, unless they're a private practise, which isn't as loaded here as you choose to go private and pay money; if you don't, you still have access to healthcare.)

as for everything else, especially when it comes to the arts... shit, man. it worries me, how so many people on this website will wax poetic about how art is worth so much, and artists are angels, etc, but boy howdy they sure don't want to pay artists. people are out there thinking the price of a book is exploitative because it prices out poorer people, without considering the fact that the whole £8.99 doesn't go to the author's pocket -- it pays the author, and everyone who marketed the book, and who edited it, and who did the art for the cover, and who bound the book, and who organised its distribution, etc. it's the same with singers, or movie stars, as well as fundamentally forgetting the fact that you consensually part with your money in order to have something you enjoy. it's not the same as having your wages literally stolen from you by a billionaire.

generally speaking, these people make their money because they're good at something. enough people think that Taylor Swift is good that they've bought her songs and made her rich. enough people like Stephen King's books that they've bought them and made him rich. movie stars are rich because they make good movies and people want to see them. they work. and none of these jobs are easy! they're hard fucking work, and a lot of people are involved in the finished product and they all need to be paid. super-rich billionaires and multi-millionaires, who hoard wealth and underpay employees and cut corners, are usually only talented at making money, and this is because they're despicable human beings. they also have more wealth than they could ever use even in a dozen lifetimes, and they remove it completely from the economy, and they use its influence to seek power and undercut laws and generally make the world a worse place, and they're in a whole different league. the kind of wealth we're seeing right now is supervillain levels of rich.

when there's issues like that, I really don't give a shit if someone who did 12 years of college and residency and who's worked 12 hour days minimum for 25 years has a vacation house. we'll discuss the ethics of multiple houses in a housing crisis when we've dealt with the bigger problems, like the multi-billionaire born to a blood emerald empire hoarding insane amounts of cash and contributing precisely nothing to society, for example. a large chunk of society's problems could be solved or at least on their way to being improved if we didn't have hoarding billionaires and starvation wages.

#anon #asks

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galaxywhale · 4 months

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can’t complain too much because I also didn’t help organise anything but I feel like Christmas really highlights the lack of community and connections me and my family have lol

I just talked to my mum and turns out I might not even see my sister + her partner tomorrow because they’re busy with all of his family stuff and I’m like damn wish I had family stuff happening lol, like yeah ok she’s stressed because she’s working out the schedule for two different family events for both sides of his family and fitting things in but at least she has something that she’s doing that’s notable in some way

and like I’m pretty sure my uncle + his family are going to be around because he literally broke his hip like 2 weeks ago so he won’t be able to travel to his wife’s family like they normally did but I’ve suggested a few times we go see them and mum’s so resistant to the idea for no reason that I can work out?? she gets annoyed at him sometimes but they have a pretty decent relationship lol but no the idea of actually doing something with family is out apparently

I’m sure we’ll have a nice day tomorrow but it’s going to be exactly the same kind of day that I could have dropping by their place for dinner after work on a random day any time of the year and I don’t know why I care bc it’s not like I even think Christmas is a particularly special day but it would be nice to like. Do something different y’know? But instead I’m here trying to hide that I’m trying not to cry on the phone because apparently once again we’re doing nothing 🙃 and like I said, I didn’t really organise anything either but it’s hard when it feels like I’m the only one who ever wants to do anything and I’m fighting against them (and mum in particular) when I actually try and think about organising anything

Part of me just wishes I had like.. an actual relationship with my extended family too idk lol and I know that could be on me too but I’ve already established I am Bad At Relationships

#juuust a feelings dump bc of a conversation I just had ignore me

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cruelsister-moved2 · 1 year

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you said you weren't gonna elaborate but ifyou have time could you on that point that most cis women will only give their genitals as what ties them to womanhood. not sure I understand the implication bc in my experience that's true and I've also wrestled with the same idea a lot bc of being in that space between cis and nonbinary where it's like well I don't feel like what society says a woman is but to pretend that all cis women do is misogynistic. jw your thoughts because i think abt it a lot

yeah I think about it too... obligatory The Quote:

anyway yeah I just I don't know how to say this without coming off dismissive to people who find other frameworks useful to understanding their existence but there really is only how you want to live in reality and what gets me is the... assuming people who don't use certain labels dont have the same interior complexity as you(ie the pansexual effect). no one can ever see your internal Experience of Gender and you can never see anyone else's so it feels like there might actually be an upper limit to how useful it is to engage with. idk maybe I'm just too autistic for all this stuff but I feel like on the internal level you, to yourself, are just you. gender is literally a relational framework that we use to categorise OTHER people so we are all going to feel some amount of awkwardness about the attempt to apply it to ourselves internally. I think some people, upon discovering this, are a little too hasty to assume everyone else (esp cis women) has an easy time doing that. So i guess THAT'S what i mean, like a lot of people are just straight up NOT doing that and just not considering themselves as having a say and therefore not thinking about it. which isn't to say that they don't have complex feelings about themselves as individuals in a gendered society, or even that they might not hypothetically feel equal or better about existing in the opposite category, if they were able to consider that for themselves.

Like im femme4butch I'm obviously a big enjoyer of fun with gender performance but I do feel like ultimately your options are like "I'm expected to be in group A but group B feels at least somewhat less terrible to me" or "neither group A nor group B feels at all comfortable for me" or "existing sometimes in group A and sometimes in group B depending on the context is preferable to me" etc. and each of those encompasses a host of internal experiences of gender but it just skips feeling like that is something fundamental that we automatically owe each-other and require to understand each-other and decides that actually in terms of interactions with other humans our efforts are best placed in facilitating others moving through the world in a way that's most frictionless for them. and internally within the LGBT community who even cares because its only recently that cis gay people have even had a category resembling cisness open to them bc previously manhood and womanhood were so inherently contingent upon heterosexuality (spoiler: they still are it's just you can at least theory cut out the gender of attraction and replace it). i think this is why people are increasingly identifying with terms like transsexual again because it DOES feel relevant to their identity that much of their lived experience is organised around moving through the world as other than their cagab. ithink once you acknowledge that gender isn't defined for you (either by your genitals or like your Male Brain or Female Soul or whatever) then it kind of turns the concept of what even is gender into soggy cardboard anyway, and trying to articulate the specific qualities of ur handful of soggy cardboard is largely pointless in comparison to what container youre going to put it in. and if that begs the question of why we're putting soggy cardboard into all these different containers anyway, well then there you go

#ask #anon #i feel like you already know how you feel bc like #yeah i dont feel like what society says a woman is > who the hell does though > what does this mean for whether we accept the category #(on the condition that we modify/recreate it on our own terms)#or reject the category to create a new one that accomodates us #is that actually a meaningful binary #etcc #anyway i would read kadji amin if ur having these questions #i dont always agree w how scathing he is but he kind of critiques the nonbinary-as-political-statement-as-identity thing #his book is called 'we are all nonbinary' if that gives u an idea lol #i have like.1001 thoughts about lesbian relationships to womanhood in particular but thats one for another day bc this is already too much #i feel like attempting to inhabit the brain of a cishet women in order to write this response has drained me so much

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heliads · 9 months

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hi!! i post my own fics but never really have a schedule for that, and it makes me feel kinda disorganised? i was kinda just wondering how you decided to organise scheduling posts and stuff? bc it seems like youre really organised and know what youre doing with that kinda stuff and if you dont mind id love some advice!! ❣️

great question! see you say i'm organized but i literally just spent 20 mins throwing my entire queue into disarray because i decided i want to write more for men in cars but yes i totally know what i'm doing lol.

anyway first i decided on a posting schedule! rn my fics come out every three days. it used to be every two days, and before that every day, but to manage stress i slowed the posting and it's done great things for my motivation. dabble with what schedule works with you, but i found that the regularity of posting every few days was nice.

i'm mainly posting requests, so when i get a req, i add it to the next available spot in my queue, three days after the last one, specifically at 5 pm est. that way, i know exactly when something is supposed to come out, so if it doesn't, i can fix it asap.w

when writing, i just go down the queue and write what hasn't been written yet. i like to have fics written at least 5-6 days before they're posted so i don't have to rush to finish them, but this changes when i have a ton going on. i've found that having a good backlog gives me time to work on other stuff so i can go several days without writing and not have it affect the posting schedule. a day or two before a fic is supposed to be posted, i copy and paste it into the place on my queue, add my tags and gif, and i'm good to go!

hope that helps! good luck with your fics <33

#not writing

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colemckenzies · 2 years

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hi sorry to bother you but do you have any advice on how to make friends in your 20s? seeing you happy and enjoying your friendship group is so good and wholesome and everything i kind of want out of my life lol <3 any advice appreciated!

aw this is so nice!!!

i mean the biggest impetus for me was moving to a new city where i knew literally not a single person and then living alone in said city, so i had no choice but to go out and meet people like there was nothing else i could do. and i will say it has been really hard, particularly as i work full-time and study part-time, and have been recovering from some Stuff that happened in 2020, and even now it's sometimes A Lot because it does take me a solid 5 years of knowing someone before I'm like Yes Okay We Are For Real Friends And I Can Be Myself With You lol. but it has also been really gratifying and i do always recommend getting out there and connecting w people irl!!!

i obviously don't know what you're situation is or how much it aligns w my experience but with that said here are my Top Tips:

apps. when i first moved i met most people my age through Bumble BFF which is a bit cringe and awkward but it was a great starting point, it basically kick-started my entire social life bc you know that the people on it are ALSO actively looking for friends (literally the first person i met was so invested that they threw loads of networking events for everyone they had met and started a groupchat and i met a lot of people that way). also tinder lmao the two people i talk to/hang out with most are both people i met on tinder it's a great way to specifically roll with the el gee bee tees

clubs/societies. personally i find clubs really hard to commit to (see the work/uni time commitment lol i just get too tired) but the thing to remember is you don't have to do them forever. i joined all sorts of groups for a few months, and then when there were people there i really liked (who i knew shared an interest in whatever thing it was) i just stayed in contact with them. and then obviously if you really like a group you can keep doing it (i still do theatre and LOVE literally everyone there). these groups are good as well because they really cultivate Local Community investment in particular and i think it's important to interact w people from different backgrounds/age groups you wouldn't necessarily be Friends with but like they ARE your local community

community centres/local businesses. like that tiktok that says about Just Show Up Somewhere Regularly, like this could be going to your favourite coffee shop/community space and then just keeping an eye out for who else is always there at the same time as you, but ALSO could be more active than that. most of my main friend group are big contributors to the local queer arts scene and organise events w the local arts centre/pubs/etc so don't be afraid to ask your local institutions what's going on or if you can volunteer. again i think actively investing in local community is really key here and provides you a wide net to rely on and full of more individuals you can meet one-on-one

group chats are your friend. i love a groupchat these days i used to hate friendship groups in school bc it was so cliquey and required so much maintenance and ive always preferred hanging out with people one-on-one (still do) but now im in sooo many groupchats and it's nice if i have a free evening and feel like doing something and i can just post 'hey is anyone free' and then people r free and sometimes they will bring people THEY know and then i meet more people.

reddit. was not expecting this to be a thing and i only had an account for a very short while but my city's subreddit was SO useful when i first moved for finding out about events/clubs that weren't advertised elsewhere and getting local insider info. i personally didn't meet anyone this way but i know they did organise meet-ups and have a CITY DISCORD SERVER so that may work for u if your city has something like that lmao

be open to making friends. with the above said as ways to meet people u have to be willing to actually make friends with people!! in my town instagram seems to be the main way to low-committal connect w people so i made a public account and now whenever i meet the vaguest stranger at an event who seems cool im like oh yeah let's follow each other lol. say yes when people invite you places and be willing to invite other people to hang out if you think you would be friends! a good way to bridge the gap between Acquaintances and Friends is to tell the acquaintance abt something you're doing anyway so then it's no pressure. like if you're part of a local group (see point 2) or going to an event (see point 3) just be like 'oh I'll be at this thing maybe see you there!' and then if they are there you can talk to them more and if you do this enough times you are now friends. or just in general be willing to (casually) do nice things for people even if it might seem a bit weird like when I got new neighbours i put my phone number through their letterbox in case they needed anything i got someone i didn't know That well a gift just because it was something specific they'd been talking about i thought they would like i saw someone on instagram say they loved handwritten letters so i asked if they minded sharing their address - as long as you're polite and not pushy about it and don't mind if people just ignore it then it's nice!

cast a wide net. as u may have noted from the above points lol i think it mostly comes down to meeting EVERYONE and being open to EVERYTHING and not putting too much pressure on anything or anyone in particular so that you will just organically get closer with the people you're supposed to get close with and nothing is forced. its great to find your Platonic Soulmate or w/e but you do also just need a certain base level of socialisation and u gotta work with what you have. if you just assume that most human beings you interact with on a day to day basis are kind people with good intentions not only does life feel a lot easier but it's easier to remember that you are just Someone Who Lives In A Place and so are they and it's all fine.

think about people you already know. obviously it's great when you really Click with someone and meeting new people is refreshing and interesting but is there anyone you already know nearby who you've never been Friends friends with but you get on and could see yourself being friends if you actually invested time in it? reach out!! i think this is esp good bc as much as personality is a factor in friends never underestimate the power of just Knowing Their Name For A Long Time lmao. shared reference points in your history are huge even if you didn't actually talk to them at the time those reference points happened.

still take time for yourself. obviously the above takes a lot of time and energy and emotional effort and it's taken me over a year to get to the point that im at. sometimes it's really hard because i will have plans literally every day of the week and ive met so many people i COULD be friends with and then i feel guilty bc i haven't seen X person for three months lol. but i think it's nice to know that you COULD meet up with someone and invest in any one of those friendships you have but instead you are going to Choose to spend the weekend by yourself bc you are an individual WITHIN this large web of interconnected people and u still exist the whole time. like at the end of the day i am still in fact an introvert and when im with people i don't know that well i still mask a lot so i do need to take time to be by myself sometimes! and everyone is fine w that !

#i hope this is like. readable. sorry for block text.#idk if this makes sense or is applicable but this has been my experience!#sorry its long if u have any more qs just ask!!

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sayrvne · 1 year

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im writing this now because otherwise i will forget. i have a terrible tendancy for needing serious help with my mental health, then getting doctor’s appointments or meetings with my manager at work set up to start it off, then the second it comes to actually Doing the meeting my mind just goes blank of everything that ails me. i need to record how i’m feeling while it’s actually happening so i can relay it to my doctors or boss or whatever bc otherwise i’m like actually i’m normal :)

i really, really need help. i have been spiralling for hours now. on and off, up and down, it gets better then it gets worse again. i need a lot of help in a lot of different places and it will take a long time but i can’t keep going on like this.

first of all i need to talk to the gp, get a doctors appointment and maybe review the meds i’m on. 50mg of sertraline has kept me stable for a while but also life didn’t really throw much shit at me through the middle of 2022, not until winter came about. now that all that has been dumped on me, sertraline is like inflatable armbands while everything else is bricks tied to my legs.

but i need more help than just meds. ideally i need some form of regular counselling or therapy. when i had regular counselling sessions with the psychiatric nurse when i was 18/19, that helped me a lot. i’m open to group therapy too, i know there are a lot of local groups that organise recreational stuff like sport or gardening and shit for mentally ill people. maybe i could find a music group?

similar to that, i need to meet some new people. i feel like i would benefit from more local friends, like a dnd group or something. i feel super isolated because the people who care about me the most live at least a city away, sometimes even a country away. it’s incredibly lonely. the difficulty is that i literally don’t know how to make friends! so this will probably be my biggest challenge of them all.

ideally i need some time off work because that on top of trying to keep my sanity together while also making adjustments and improvements to my life is just Too Fucking Much tbh. i need a real break and not a christmas break where you’re obligated to see 23834 family members and do loads of things, i mean like a break where i can just focus on getting my brain factory reset.

in terms of my physical health, i think i’m on the road to recovery, or at least doing a lot better than i was - in the last couple weeks i was diagnosed with pernicious anaemia which is a hereditary condition that results in a b12 deficiency. that ticks all the boxes for the dizziness, lightheadedness, lethargy and fatigue, the latter two i’ve been experiencing for literally years with no progress.

there was more i wanted to say i think but it’s left my head already. maybe next time i’ll be quick enough to note it all down. though maybe it was for the best

#.txt

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autistic-ace-bee · 2 years

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*storms into your room*

THAT IS IT! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF ASSIGNMENTS GIVING ME A CRISIS AND MAKING ME REFECT ON MYSELF. *crosses arms and sits on the floor and glares at it*

*sniffles* *curls into a ball and cry*

bestie literally same that was me going through highschool. shit is so fucking frustrating im here with you bud.

im not doing any assignments right now bc i took a break from uni bc i literally had an anxiety attack my first day on campus just trying to walk into class so yeah buddy i feel you 100%

idk what specifically your struggle is with the assignments but ive had my fair share of meltdowns over them so ive come up with a few ways/guidelines for tackling hw which i hope might be helpful for you??? anyway

lists. so many lists. i make a list for the following:

1. To do list

This will include all the things i need to get done for the assessment, in order. for example, a to do list for a research essay would look like this

1. pick a topic

2. find articles

3. read articles and copy/paste relevant sections

4. decide on paragraph topics

5. organise article sections under relevant paragraphs

6. write paragraph 1

7. write paragraph 2

8. write paragraph 3

9. write conclusion

10. add referencing

11. proofread

2. Questions

I make a list of all the questions that come up while im trying to do the assignment, and write them down in a list so i can either email them all to the teacher or ask them in person. this includes questions like how to start the assignment, if i wrote my introduction correctly, where to find certain material, did i understand the task properly? where do i find the rubric? is this fact i want to include in my essay accurate? some of the questions you might be able to figure out the answer yourself, but this is a helpful way to stay focused on the assignment itself; if you have a question, add it to the list and come back to it later, that way it doesnt break your flow if youre already working on something

3. structure list.

if im writing an essay I'll make headings like intro/p1/p2/p3/conclusion and underneath each heading ill write exactly what i need to include in each paragraph, that way i know what i need to include while im looking through source material, and I can cross it off when im done. for example that might look like

intro (this is a mashup of different types of essays bc idk)

- "This topic is important for XYZ reason."

- introduce body paragraphs

- mention past research (at least 2)

- "the aim of this study is to...."

- "the novel [ ] by [ ] is a..... which explores the idea of.... in a time of XYZ"

- introduce the main themes of the novel

4. a criteria list

this basically just has all the criteria/rubric stuff so like

- size 12 times new roman font

- need a reference list

- 600 words

- minimum of 2 references

- due when?

this list helps you make sure youve met all the criteria before the final send off

5. homework list.

if you have multiple different assignments, you can order them by which one you need to do first/highest priority, that way you make the most of your time.

i literally even made this a list akskks

i am just now realising this was probably more about the crisis thing than the assignments thing aksklskd but anyway,,,, yeah i hope this helps you? its definitely saved me a meltdown or two and i hope its at least a little helpful? maybe? no worries if not but like it sucks that youre struggling o lemme know if theres anyway i can help! ill send you a funky little drawing of a cat or something :)

#friday <333 #lemme know if youd rather i privated this #long post

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stranger-nightmare · 2 years

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I think you misunderstood what I said re: the top gun ask. I’m not saying anything regarding the actual characters in the movie. For all I care you can be in love with Maverick. Separate the actor from the character and all. I’m saying to just not give the movie money by seeing it in cinema/paying to watch it. Just to pirate it instead. Otherwise you need to be comfortable with where that money is going and you seem like a decent enough person to not want money funneled into something like that.

yeah I and I do appreciate what you’re trying to say I just really don’t know what you want me to say in return

like all I’m doing is reblogging gifs and stuff, I’m not actively encouraging people to go and endorse the movie and funnel money into scientology ?

I’m sorry I’m really not trying to be rude or anything bc I know your intentions are good but I honestly just genuinely don’t know what to say to you, like I’ve already paid to see in the cinema ages ago, I’ve bought the movie bc I like it and I want to keep it and watch it again whenever I want

I’m not here endorsing Tom and / or that organisation, like the money Top Gun makes is going to a lot, a lot, more people that just Tom himself ya know, and just lil ol’ me not buying the film isn’t gonna stop the millions that Tom funnels into that organisation anyways

again I completely understand and appreciate your intention but I won’t lie it just feels kinda shitty to have this thrown my way in particular when I’ve seen literally no other Top Gun account catch the same kind of flack

- hope

#the answer to your nightmare #miscellaneous nightmares #top gun maverick

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pebblethief · 2 years

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regretting my tinder experiment for dumb weird reasons i will vent about in here bc this is too much for one tiny brain to keep inside entirely

tl;dr i was just like “idk maybe i should try it” and now ive got ALL THESE THOUGHTS and its annoying and id like it to go away lol

triiiied to organise this?

i have caught Feelings. not for anyone in particular but my “random spikes of Lonely” have now become an unpleasant beast on my shoulder

but also weirdly im like.....can i even be fucking bothered? is this worth it? tinder fucking sucks

its got me questioning what i even want in a “gotta do fucking soul searching now” kind of way. like yes ultimately what i want is the same: basically a very good friend who i occasionally get to fuck? lol. which is basically what most long term relationships *are*. but do i actually care about the romance stuff? idk! maybe i actually just want friends and to get over my hookup issues. maybe i want something more open. maybe the ‘hm what if /dont/ want romance much’ is actually Issues talking? idfk!

so now i gotta soul search i guess. which is fucking lame and annoying

maybe i am just being an anxious dweeb about the whole Getting To Know people sort of stuff lol

maybe im being all ‘gonna be alone forever so lets just throw some different reasons for that into the ring’

and all of this isnt bc im like.....frustrated at lack of matchs lmao.ive barely swiped on anyone! and i keep being fussy for weird reasons so the number ive done the good swipe on is way smaller!

and i panicked and immediately unmatched 2 of the 4 matches ive got so far lmfao oops (and one of them ive not replied to at all double oops)

so i have literally spoken to one (1) guy on there and true i didnt know him but i did know he was friends with some of my friends so already knew he is at least not awful

i just hate the *format* of tinder. theres so little info and i need to make a decision from this right now?? i cant go back and change my mind?? let me think about it damn!

i really do hate getting to know people so i am being picky bc sure youre hot but do you seem like youre worth me subjecting myself to smalltalk?

and bc there is so little info i keep thinking random qs like “does this guy seem like he might at least pretend to be interested when i go off on one about the oseberg tablet weaving find?” (if u strip the specifics this is important! i got niche interests id be miserable if i couldnt ramble!)

bumble isnt much better. grindr is a hellhole

[strange positives?]

WEIRDLY (for me), actually a lot of this is more “i dont want to compromise who i am as a person” and “hm i havent checked in on myself what i actually do want rn” vs like “im too awful i shouldnt even subject myself to this. the dudes swiping on everyone dont deserve to try and coax conversation out of me” if that makes sense?

i was expecting it to tank my self esteem but eh nah not really

even when dude was like ‘not quite sure im feeling a relationship here at the moment’? i was a bit mopey til i realised it didnt actually bug me (guess id just assumed it did and got mopey automatically??) and it hasnt changed our conversation style much other than we’re not trying to impress each other any more lmao (so its actually better now?)

I DONT KNOW

i was just like “idk maybe i should try it” and now ive got ALL THESE THOUGHTS and its annoying and id like it to go away lol

im hoping this bloodletting has released some of the circling in my brain

#this is a very weird post i guess im just talking to myself

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sugarsnappeases · 2 months

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hi!!! do you happen to know if rb previous fanworks/answering asks is okay for during the strike? ik you're not the authority but idk who else to ask other than people participating in it bc i want to be respectful!

hi lovely!! this is a very good question and i’m defo not the authority but i was thinking about this earlier in terms of interacting w fanworks?? so for me i'm not going to rb any fanart/fanworks, even stuff that's already been posted, and i'm not going to post any snippets/the top secret microfic that i was planning to post on saturday, until after the strike. i'm not entirely sure what you mean about answering asks bc my asks never tend to be related to fan stuff anyway, so i'll probs still reply to asks if i get any, but i think it really depends on you and everyone will probs be doing it slightly differently

the main point of the strike is obviously to raise awareness for palestine, to show solidarity and to try and help in any way that we can, even if it might seem kinda pointless, like me w my very minor marauders blog not posting one little fic, but for me this is something that i can do. i think the important thing is just to try and do something - and also to spend this time educating yourself, and emailing/calling your representatives and donating if you can. so, that said:

if you're in the uk, TODAY (wed 21st), mps are voting about a ceasefire. i'm not sure if this is still useful as it's so last-minute but here is a link w an email template that you can send directly to your mp, it's super easy, literally only takes a minute and it's SO important. ALSO if you can get to westminster between 11.30am and 4pm today, palestine solidarity uk are organising a lobby of parliament to put direct pressure on mps to vote for a ceasefire, anyone can go, you don't have to be an expert, you just have to sign up here.

palestine solidarity campaign also has bunch of information that might be useful about protests and boycotts on their website and their instagram also has a useful linktree. also there are journalists like bisan who are risking their lives and sharing news directly from gaza

this is a link to a google sheets which is constantly updating w links for URGENT evacuation funds and this is a link to the palestine children's relief fund both of which i would encourage you to donate to if you can

finally, you can go here and donate daily through arab.org with just one click, it's so easy to do and doesn't cost you anything!!

#asks <3 #hope this answered your question... again i'm not an authority at all and i think it really depends on the person but this is just me

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menalez · 1 year

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Lol , the uh, consent discourse is interesting. I HAVE consented to things that were traumatic, a lot of things in fact, but ive also stayed silent, frozen and let things happen, ive put myself back in the same situation.

Point is, i really am the "just regretted it!"-strawman some people love to use lol. Bc i did go back. I didnt even say anything. I dont know if i was sober a single time honestly? (Even the times i did consent to, not just when i was like. Unconscious or actively tried to fight, escape and/or protest verbally)

Ive had, and still have, some pretty bad substance issues, two of the repeated situations have been suppliers. (And no i wasnt even trading drugs for sex) I dont know how to deal with the guilt anymore? I just didnt know what to do, and i still wouldnt if it happened again today? I know i cant physically defend myself, and its terrifying?

Theres at least one time i didnt realise anything happened and just, hoped i imagined it, until i found out the supplier in question had filmed it. Many time i just pretended like i hadnt regained consciousness, and waited until it was over, and acted like i didnt know. There were times i protested and begged and nothing happened, like they didnt even hear me, and there were times i got the shit beat out of me for trying to get away or even for saying no, so i guess i just, i dont know? I dont know why i kept putting myself in those situations when i knew the risks.

I dont even know if they knew that i didnt want it or if they were too fucked up themselves to understand, hear or notice. Its been years, and its still just, always there. I dont want to think about it, i can't even really force myself to, but it still keeps popping up, and i dont know what to do? There are groups for SA victims, ive looked into and met people who run it, but even if they'd never tell me right out that i dont belong there, i still feel so fucking guilty and ashamed for ever contacting them. I just feel like the epitome of playing with fire and whining when i got burnt, only to tell myself its fine and keep playing with fire over and over again. I dont know where im going with this, other than just, i dont know, something something joke about strawmans george and statistical outliers or smth. Anyway. Love ya

girl im sorry but none of what you're mentioning is that bullshit "just regretted it strawman" as you put it. you were sexually abused, potentially even raped, repeatedly. i feel like a part of you knows it but doesn't want to accept it. maybe you feel like you're somehow downplaying rape or sth, i know i felt similarly. its also generally just hard to accept your own powerlessness and the way others (esp men) may take advantage of those moments.

the fact that freezing was a common response and you didn't know how to fight for yourself just emphasises how TRAUMATIC and unwanted it was for you. the fact that you were on substances and cant even remember these incidences well, that people FILMED IT, that some of it was at the hands of drug dealers, that you were abused physically and threatened... you were so clearly sexually exploited based on what you're saying here.

you being unable to think about it but it always coming up regardless is literally traum. you freezing is trauma too. i encourage you to go to those groups for victims of rape/sexual assault. or maybe message an organisation specialised in that stuff or see a therapist (do not pick some asshole conservative man, instead pick a woman specialised in trauma or SA). if you doubt yourself, maybe hearing from them will clarify to you that what you went through is no joke. its not just some silly impulsive decision you made and then regretted the way victim blamers & rape apologists loooooove to frame it.

so many of us will waste so much time blaming ourselves bc that is what our societies do to us. its vile that there are women orbiting feminist spaces right now reiterating the same blame that society throws at us, blame that protects & helps abusers. "oh she just regretted it the next day but she did want it to some degree" "oh well she totally consented" if you showed signs of not wanting it, if you were visibly out of it or wasted or on other substances & clearly not in the right state of mind to consent, if it was in exchange for things you need to survive (or even things you need to feed your addiction bc addiction isnt rational! ppl give their everything to feed it!), if you protested but gave up, etc those are literally unwanted sexual experiences. those are people taking advantage of your vulnerable state. you deserved better and you deserve better now too, don't deprive yourself bc you think it was your fault. we all can find a way to blame ourselves and i found many too, but at the end of the day those man made a totally autonomous decision when they saw you struggling, out of it, w/e else, and took advantage of it and harmed you.

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