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#and I know that there’s people who have it worse than me but I just really felt like I needed to make this post
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How can you consider yourself any sort of leftist when you defend AI art bullshit? You literally simp for AI techbros and have the gall to pretend you're against big corporations?? Get fucked
I don't "defend" AI art. I think a particular old post of mine that a lot of people tend to read in bad faith must be making the rounds again lmao.
Took me a good while to reply to this because you know what? I decided to make something positive out of this and use this as an opportunity to outline what I ACTUALLY believe about AI art. If anyone seeing this decides to read it in good or bad faith... Welp, your choice I guess.
I have several criticisms of the way the proliferation of AI art generators and LLMs is making a lot of things worse. Some of these are things I have voiced in the past, some of these are things I haven't until now:
Most image and text AI generators are fine-tuned to produce nothing but the most agreeable, generically pretty content slop, pretty much immediately squandering their potential to be used as genuinely interesting artistic tools with anything to offer in terms of a unique aesthetic experience (AI video still manages to look bizarre and interesting but it's getting there too)
In the entertainment industry and a lot of other fields, AI image generation is getting incorporated into production pipelines in ways that lead to the immiseration of working artists, being used to justify either lower wages or straight-up layoffs, and this is something that needs to be fought against. That's why I unconditionally supported the SAG-AFTRA strikes last year and will unconditionally support any collective action to address AI art as a concrete labor issue
In most fields where it's being integrated, AI art is vastly inferior to human artists in any use case where you need anything other than to make a superficially pretty picture really fast. If you need to do anything like ask for revisions or minor corrections, give very specific descriptions of how objects and people are interacting with each other, or just like. generate several pictures of the same thing and have them stay consistent with each other, you NEED human artists and it's preposterous to think they can be replaced by AI.
There is a lot of art of the internet that consists of the most generically pretty, cookie-cutter anime waifu-adjacent slop that has zero artistic or emotional value to either the people seeing it or the person churning it out, and while this certainly was A Thing before the advent of AI art generators, generative AI has made it extremely easy to become the kind of person who churns it out and floods online art spaces with it.
Similarly, LLMs make it extremely easy to generate massive volumes of texts, pages, articles, listicles and what have you that are generic vapid SEO-friendly pap at best and bizzarre nonsense misinformation at worst, drowning useful information in a sea of vapid noise and rendering internet searches increasingly useless.
The way LLMs are being incorporated into customer service and similar services not only, again, encourages further immiseration of customer service workers, but it's also completely useless for most customers.
A very annoyingly vocal part the population of AI art enthusiasts, fanatics and promoters do tend to talk about it in a way that directly or indirectly demeans the merit and skill of human artists and implies that they think of anyone who sees anything worthwile in the process of creation itself rather than the end product as stupid or deluded.
So you can probably tell by now that I don't hold AI art or writing in very high regard. However (and here's the part that'll get me called an AI techbro, or get people telling me that I'm just jealous of REAL artists because I lack the drive to create art of my own, or whatever else) I do have some criticisms of the way people have been responding to it, and have voiced such criticisms in the past.
I think a lot of the opposition to AI art has critstallized around unexamined gut reactions, whipping up a moral panic, and pressure to outwardly display an acceptable level of disdain for it. And in particular I think this climate has made a lot of people very prone to either uncritically entertain and adopt regressive ideas about Intellectual Propety, OR reveal previously held regressive ideas about Intellectual Property that are now suddenly more socially acceptable to express:
(I wanna preface this section by stating that I'm a staunch intellectual property abolitionist for the same reason I'm a private property abolitionist. If you think the existence of intellectual property is a good thing, a lot of my ideas about a lot of stuff are gonna be unpalatable to you. Not much I can do about it.)
A lot of people are suddenly throwing their support behind any proposal that promises stricter copyright regulations to combat AI art, when a lot of these also have the potential to severely udnermine fair use laws and fuck over a lot of independent artist for the benefit of big companies.
It was very worrying to see a lot of fanfic authors in particular clap for the George R R Martin OpenAI lawsuit because well... a lot of them don't realize that fanfic is a hobby that's in a position that's VERY legally precarious at best, that legally speaking using someone else's characters in your fanfic is a much of a violation of copyright law as stright up stealing entire passages, and that any regulation that can be used against the latter can be extended against the former.
Similarly, a lot of artists were cheering for the lawsuit against AI art models trained to mimic the style of specific artists. Which I agree is an extremely scummy thinbg to do (just like a human artist making a living from ripping off someone else's work is also extremely scummy), but I don't think every scummy act necessarily needs to be punishable by law, and some of them would in fact leave people worse off if they were. All this to say: If you are an artist, and ESPECIALLY a fan artist, trust me. You DON'T wanna live in a world where there's precedent for people's artstyles to be considered intellectual property in any legally enforceable way. I know you wanna hurt AI art people but this is one avenue that's not worth it.
Especially worrying to me as an indie musician has been to see people mention the strict copyright laws of the music industry as a positive thing that they wanna emulate. "this would never happen in the music industry because they value their artists copyright" idk maybe this is a the grass is greener type of situation but I'm telling you, you DON'T wanna live in a world where copyright law in the visual arts world works the way it does in the music industry. It's not worth it.
I've seen at least one person compare AI art model training to music sampling and say "there's a reason why they cracked down on sampling" as if the death of sampling due to stricter copyright laws was a good thing and not literally one of the worst things to happen in the history of music which nearly destroyed several primarily black music genres. Of course this is anecdotal because it's just One Guy I Saw Once, but you can see what I mean about how uncritical support for copyright law as a tool against AI can lead people to adopt increasingly regressive ideas about copyright.
Similarly, I've seen at least one person go "you know what? Collages should be considered art theft too, fuck you" over an argument where someone else compared AI art to collages. Again, same point as above.
Similarly, I take issue with the way a lot of people seem EXTREMELY personally invested in proving AI art is Not Real Art. I not only find this discussion unproductive, but also similarly dangerously prone to validating very reactionary ideas about The Nature Of Art that shouldn't really be entertained. Also it's a discussion rife with intellectual dishonesty and unevenly applied definition as standards.
When a lot of people present the argument of AI art not being art because the definition of art is this and that, they try to pretend that this is the definition of art the've always operated under and believed in, even when a lot of the time it's blatantly obvious that they're constructing their definition on the spot and deliberately trying to do so in such a way that it doesn't include AI art.
They never succeed at it, btw. I've seen several dozen different "AI art isn't art because art is [definition]". I've seen exactly zero of those where trying to seriously apply that definition in any context outside of trying to prove AI art isn't art doesn't end up in it accidentally excluding one or more non-AI artforms, usually reflecting the author's blindspots with regard to the different forms of artistic expression.
(However, this is moot because, again, these are rarely definitions that these people actually believe in or adhere to outside of trying to win "Is AI art real art?" discussions.)
Especially worrying when the definition they construct is built around stuff like Effort or Skill or Dedication or The Divine Human Spirit. You would not be happy about the kinds of art that have traditionally been excluded from Real Art using similar definitions.
Seriously when everyone was celebrating that the Catholic Church came out to say AI art isn't real art and sharing it as if it was validating and not Extremely Worrying that the arguments they'd been using against AI art sounded nearly identical to things TradCaths believe I was like. Well alright :T You can make all the "I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a catholic" legolas and gimli memes you want, but it won't change the fact that the argument being made by the catholic church was a profoundly conservative one and nearly identical to arguments used to dismiss the artistic merit of certain forms of "degenerate" art and everyone was just uncritically sharing it, completely unconcerned with what kind of worldview they were lending validity to by sharing it.
Remember when the discourse about the Gay Sex cats pic was going on? One of the things I remember the most from that time was when someone went "Tell me a definition of art that excludes this picture without also excluding Fountain by Duchamp" and how just. Literally no one was able to do it. A LOT of people tried to argue some variation of "Well, Fountain is art and this image isn't because what turns fountain into art is Intent. Duchamp's choice to show a urinal at an art gallery as if it was art confers it an element of artistic intent that this image lacks" when like. Didn't by that same logic OP's choice to post the image on tumblr as if it was art also confer it artistic intent in the same way? Didn't that argument actually kinda end up accidentally validating the artistic status of every piece of AI art ever posted on social media? That moment it clicked for me that a lot of these definitions require applying certain concepts extremely selectively in order to make sense for the people using them.
A lot of people also try to argue it isn't Real Art based on the fact that most AI art is vapid but like. If being vapid definitionally excludes something from being art you're going to have to exclude a whooole lot of stuff along with it. AI art is vapid. A lot of art is too, I don't think this argument works either.
Like, look, I'm not really invested in trying to argue in favor of The Artistic Merits of AI art but I also find it extremely hard to ignore how trying to categorically define AI art as Not Real Art not only is unproductive but also requires either a) applying certain parts of your definition of art extremely selectively, b) constructing a definition of art so convoluted and full of weird caveats as to be functionally useless, or c) validating extremely reactionary conservative ideas about what Real Art is.
Some stray thoughts that don't fit any of the above sections.
I've occassionally seen people respond to AI art being used for shitposts like "A lot of people have affordable commissions, you could have paid someone like $30 to draw this for you instead of using the plagiarism algorithm and exploiting the work of real artists" and sorry but if you consider paying an artist a rate that amounts to like $5 for several hours of work a LESS exploitative alternative I think you've got something fucked up going on with your priorities.
Also it's kinda funny when people comment on the aforementioned shitposts with some variation of "see, the usage of AI art robs it of all humor because the thing that makes shitposts funny is when you consider the fact that someone would spend so much time and effort in something so stupid" because like. Yeah that is part of the humor SOMETIMES but also people share and laugh at low effort shitposts all the time. Again you're constructing a definition that you don't actually believe in anywhere outside of this type of conversations. Just say you don't like that it's AI art because you think it's morally wrong and stop being disingenuous.
So yeah, this is pretty much everything I believe about the topic.
I don't "defend" AI art, but my opposition to it is firmly rooted in my principles, and that means I refuse to uncritically accept any anti-AI art argument that goes against those same principles.
If you think not accepting and parroting every Anti-AI art argument I encounter because some of them are ideologically rooted in things I disagree with makes me indistinguishable from "AI techbros" you're working under a fucked up dichotomy.
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nathaslosthershit · 3 days
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Long Distance (LN4)
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Summary: Long distance relationships are hard, especially when they both have very time consuming careers
Warnings; Angst (a whole lot), no happy ending in this part (will happen in pt 2)
Request: hi!! requesting a lando norris x female uni!reader if possible reader being a medical student or a one of the engineers on the paddock 🧍🏻‍♀️
Lando wasn’t known for being the smartest on the grid. He, like many other drivers, had only a few years of school to his name. But that still hadn’t stopped him from being able to somehow ‘woo’ a woman quite the opposite. 
His girlfriend was currently in her last year of medical school. While he was unbelievably proud of how far she had come, the difficulties of long distance have gotten to both of them, and there wasn’t much hope once she graduated and was off to a medical training program. With her studying for finals and Lando being off to a new country every two weeks for Grand Prixs, their relationship has been rocky to say the least.
Constant lack of communication and missing each other's calls had led them to have tons of unspoken dialogue. Each unanswered call created the smallest bit of resentment that just continued to grow and grow. 
No more sweet ‘goodmorning’ or ‘goodnight’ texts, no more wishing her well before a big test, no more sending ‘good luck baby!’ before qualifying. Just a few ‘how are you doing?’ and other bland messages you’d send to a coworker, not your significant other. 
After weeks of little communication, they had finally scheduled a ‘zoom date’. Not particularly the most romantic date they had been on, but it's the best they could do with their schedules. Lando called in late at night for him while his girlfriend had a lunch break in between labs. Time zones be damned.
Lando was 25 minutes late leaving only 35 minutes to actually talk to one another.
Her wifi was spotty so it kept freezing.
Finally, with only 5 minutes left, Lando decided to make a joke that there is no reason for her to continue going to labs, as he would be happy to be her ‘sugar daddy’. This was not very well received by his girlfriend, who responded with a quick “fuck you” and hung up early.
Lando was joking, a bit. He loved his girlfriend and saw a future with her, he just couldn’t stand long distance and any job in the medical field was bound to take up most of your time. He wanted her, but he also wanted someone who could be by his side on race day. That just wasn’t something that was possibly currently. 
He supported her. He loved to brag about how smart she was and how she was so dedicated to helping people. But that came with setbacks.
After a quick message from Lando (‘I was kidding darling. You know how proud I am of you. Lighten up a little, yeah?’), which she ignored, she was off to her labs in a worse mood than before. Things couldn’t go on like this. 
He hadn’t heard from her in three days. His “how are you, love?” and “Miss you lots. Hope your class is going better than my neck training :(“ went unanswered. She knew she was being petty, but maybe a relationship was just too hard for her life currently. 
After three long and stressful days of silence, she called him. With no message asking what she needed to speak about, Lando feared he already knew.
“We can’t keep doing this” She said after they quickly exchanged a ‘hi, how are you?’ ‘I'm good, how are you?’. 
“Baby, I told you it was just a-”
“I know that Lando! It's just that this isn’t the first time you have mentioned me quitting my career to be your housewife or whatever unrealistic idea you have stuck in your head.”
“I don’t need you to be a housewife! I don’t want that for you. I just try to let you know that you don’t need to worry about your future as much because I will always be there to help you.”
“But I want a career! I want to work hard so I can have a good future. You need to get it into your head that your career isn’t the only important one.”
“I don’t think that! Me wanting to let you know that I support you no matter what isn't diminishing your career plans! It would be nice if you started to show a little more support. I am so sick and tired of all our conversations revolving around you and how your day was. If classes are rough, or you are stressed, you don’t respond to me. I never know where I land with you. But god forbid I try to mention how hard my day was. I am just as sick of it.”
She didn’t know how to respond. It seems that all the times she has been more focused on how she was feeling she completely forgot to check on how he was doing. Before she can even muster out an apology, Lando jumps back in.
“Maybe you are right. I don’t think I can do this either. Not anymore.” He feels his stomach dropping as he says the words, not fully meaning them.
There is a long silence, moments where she wants to apologize, to try and reconcile. In that moment all of the good memories of their relationship come flashing back to her, as if her mind is begging her to do something. But she doesn’t. 
“Then I guess this is it.” She finally says. 
“I guess so.”
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loriache · 2 days
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Kabru, impossible mutual understanding & unknowable objects
Despite his concerted and constant efforts to understand other people, it’s established in a few extras that Kabru believes that true mutual understanding between certain different races is impossible. Specifically, between long-lived and short-lived races, and between humans and demi-humans. Partially, we can trace this conviction back to specific hang-ups caused by his life; the trauma of the Utaya disaster, prejudices he carries from his childhood, and his experience of racism among the elves. In this “little” essay, I’m gonna discuss how I think those experiences formed this belief, how it comes out in his actions, and how some of his actions seem to contradict it. The question of whether it’s possible to reach mutual understanding with other living beings despite our differences is one of the core themes of the manga, and I’ll also touch on how this aspect of Kabru’s character links to that.
Seeking understanding
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Kabru is a character who devotes a huge amount of time and effort to understanding people, and he is very good at it. In his internal monologue, we can tell how advanced and complex his skills of analysis are. He is able to read a huge amount of information just from looking at people's faces and body language.
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People are, to him, what monsters are to Laios. This is something that's been expanded on at length in other, excellent meta. It's the fact that they're foils; it's the fact that Kabru is also very easy to read as autistic, with a special interest which is the opposite and parallel of Laios'. It's something that came out of trauma and alienation, as Laios' special interest in monsters also began as a coping mechanism.
The complicated origin of this "love" for monsters and for people comes through, I think, in the fact that one of the places we see both characters use their fixation is in being very, very good at killing the thing that they love. This also ties into the idea that loving something isn't even remotely mutually exclusive with using it to sustain your own survival; using it for your own purposes; hurting it or killing it. Love can be, and often is, violent, possessive and consumptive. This understanding is part of what makes Kui's depiction of interpersonal relationships so compelling to me.
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While Laios fixated on monsters and animals to seek a place of escape, in both his imagination and his self-image, from the humans who he couldn't understand and who couldn't understand him, Kabru seems to have fixated on understanding people in order to navigate the complex, socially marginal places that he has been forced into throughout his life. As an illegitimate child raised by a single mother with an appearance that marked him out as different to the point his father's family wanted to kill him, and a tallman child raised among elves who didn't treat him as fully human and wanted him to perform gratefulness for that treatment – treatment that, after he met Rin at age 9, he certainly always understood could be a lot worse – his ability to work out what people wanted from him, whether they were friendly or hostile or had ulterior motives, wasn’t just an interest. It will have been an essential skill.  
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Milsiril, I think, was a flawed parent who tried to do her best by Kabru and did a lot of harm to him despite her best intentions. She may have treated him much better than an average elf would have, but like Otta and Marcille's mother, there are other elves with different outlooks on short-lived races. How would they judge her treatment of him? We don’t have any insight on what it could be, but to be honest, the person’s whose opinion of her I’d be most interested in knowing is Rin’s.
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But even if she'd been perfect, living as an trans-racial adoptee in a deeply hierarchical nation with a queen who is a 'staunch traditionalist' who wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of a half-elf like Marcille (according to Cithis) is an experience that would deeply impact anyone.
Elves & Impossible mutual understanding
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While Kabru was living with Milsiril - in other words, while living in the Northern Central Continent - he came to believe that "there was no way to achieve mutual understanding with the long-lived races."
This is evident in his political project: he wants short-lived races to have ownership over the dungeon's secrets. Despite his dislike of the Lord of the Island, he's a useful bulwark to stop the elves taking over. Despite his doubts about Laios, Laios needs to be the one to defeat the dungeon, because if he doesn't the elves will take over.
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Kabru still carries a deep scar from Utaya, one that was exacerbated by the fact that he never got an answer to any of his questions about what happened or why. This, despite the fact that Milsiril knows about the demon and how it works. Do you think Kabru, with his social perceptiveness that borders on the superhuman, wasn't aware that she knew more than she would tell him?
Given that, the fact that he gets to a place where he "doesn't have any particularly negative feelings about [elves/long-lived species]" .... well, to put it bluntly, I believe that he thinks that's the case, but I kind of doubt it. After all, if he did have resentment, of Milsiril (someone who was his primary provider and caretaker since age six, and who despite her flaws, loves him and who I do think he loves) or of elves (who he has had to play nice with for most of his life, in order to survive, and will still have to play nice with in order to achieve his goals, since they hold all the power) what would that do except hurt him and make his life harder? Kabru is Mr. Pragmatic, so I don't think he'd let himself acknowledge any such feelings he did have. Exactly because he can't acknowledge them, they're well placed to get internalised as beliefs about the Fundamental Unchangeable Nature of the World.
However, these stated beliefs seem to contradict his actions. Despite his belief in the impossibility of forming a mutual understanding, he certainly seems to try to understand long-lived people, just as much as he does short-lived people. There's no noticeable difference between his treatment of Daya & Holm versus Mickbell & Rin that isn't clearly down to their relationship with him. His skills of human analysis were honed and developed while living amongst elves, and as soon as he's alone with Mithrun he immediately sets to understanding him - his interests, his motivations, his needs, and his past.
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He treats him considerately and without bias, and despite the fact that Mithrun conquering the dungeon for the elves is both a reenactment of a core part of his childhood trauma and a political disaster for his aims, that doesn't seem to colour his perspective on Mithrun negatively at all.
This is something I find extremely laudable about Kabru, and it's another way he parallels Laios. He seems to understand that people, as a rule, (in Laios' case, he understands this about monsters - and eventually, all living beings) will act in their own interests, and if those interests conflict with yours, might harm you. But that's just their nature, and it's not something that should be held against them; you're also doing the same thing, after all. The crux of Laios' arc is precisely that he has to accept the responsibility of hurting someone else in order to achieve what he wants.
Kabru is deeply concerned with his own morals, what he should and shouldn't do, but mostly in the context of responsibility for the consequences - a responsibility he takes onto himself. He isn't scrupulous about what he needs to do in order to create the outcome he wants, but if he fails to create that outcome, then....
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He blames himself to the point of thinking he should die. He doesn't blame Laios, or seem at all angry with him, despite concluding he should have killed him to prevent this outcome. That's because in his eyes, ultimately Laios was going to act according to his own nature, and it's Kabru's fault for not understanding that nature well enough. He's extremely confident in his ability to understand and predict others, (including elves and other long-lived people). Then, where does his conviction that mutual understanding is impossible come from?
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Partially, it's the "mutual" part. I'm sure Kabru, who isn't able or willing to deny Otta's insinuation that Milsiril saw him more like a pet than a son, has felt that his full interiority, the depth of his feelings and his ability to grow, act, and think as a fully equal being, was something that the elves around him just couldn't grasp. Because that was their excuse for it, he came to understand this as a gulf between short-lived and long-lived beings, an inevitable difference in outlook caused by their different lifespans.
This experience might be part of what leads to his iconic “fake” behaviour. He trusts his ability to understand others, but if they aren’t able to understand him, then there isn’t any benefit to being honest about his feelings and thoughts. If his attempts to reach mutual understanding with his caretakers were never able to be fulfilled, then it isn’t any wonder that he reacts with such surprise and horror at blurting out his desire to be Laios’ friend.
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In his experience, making yourself vulnerable in that way only leads to being hurt. Soothing him, hushing him, lying to him, talking to him like a child that isn’t able to use proper judgement – that’s an inadequate and deeply hurtful way to respond to genuine distress, the desire for autonomy, or disagreement. Ultimately, I think that’s why he comes out on the side of being grateful to Milsiril; because she did equip him with the skills and knowledge he’d need to reach his goal, and let him go.
Though he could understand them, they couldn't understand him. To the extent that was true - which I'm sure it was - it wasn't due to anything about lifespan. It was due to the elves’ racism, and the solipsitic mindset & prejudiced attitude that it caused them to approach him with.
Because, if it needs to be said, the idea that there is an unbreachable gap in understanding between the long-lived and short-lived species is not true. Marcille and Laios have a much greater difference in lifespan than any full elf from any short-lived person, and they’re able to understand each other – maybe not perfectly, but better than many other people who are closer in life-span to them.
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That doesn’t mean that I think Kabru is wrong about this, however. Because there’s an interpretation of his statement that is reflected in his actions and is true. When he talks about his problem with elves, it’s not just their attitudes: it’s their power, and what they use it to do. They “explain nothing and take everything”. Though it’s presented in the guise of ‘guiding and protecting’, in fact it’s a simple case of a powerful nation using their military power, wealth, access to resources, and historically stolen land – including the island itself – to protect their own interests and advance their own agenda. That’s why they’d be able to show up, seize the dungeon, and forcibly take Kabru’s party and Laios’ party to the West. If Kabru wants to stop that from happening, or change that status quo, persuasion or a bid to be understood would be completely pointless. Between the political blocs formed by long-lived species and the interests of short-lived species, “mutual understanding”, given their current, unequal terms, would be impossible. This is something that we see reflected in Kabru’s actions; before he asks his questions about the dungeon, he grabs Mithrun as leverage. He never really attempts to persuade the canaries to see his point of view, because that would be pointless: they’re agents of the Northern Central Continent’s monarchy, and will act in its interests regardless of any individual relationship with him.  
I don’t think Kabru sees the different dimensions of this belief of his in quite such clear terms, however, as is evidenced by the other group who he thinks it’s impossible to communicate with.
Demi-Humans & Unknowable Objects
The other place that we see his conviction about the impossibility of mutual understanding is in the kobold extra.
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I'm including the whole thing, because I think it's an excellent and clever piece of world-building. Aside from what it says about Kabru, which I'll expand on shortly, what this extra does is deconstruct and call into question the usual "fantasy ontological biology" present in these sort of DnD-like settings. Essentially, the kind of worldbuilding where a race (such as kobolds) can be described as war-like, and that's establishing something essential about their biological nature. That's common to the point that if Kui didn't include this, some people would probably come away thinking that's the case about, e.g., the orcs.
But here, despite what Kabru is saying, the information the reader actually gets is:
the conflict between short-lived humans and demi-humans such as kobolds is mostly over access to material resources that they need to survive.
These resources are scarce because powerful nations, such as the elves, have monopolised them.
Kabru, who has grown up in a place at the centre of these conflicts, ascribes essential, negative traits to a cultural group which was in direct conflict with his own. Communication with this other group is impossible; they aren't people, they're more like objects.
oh yes! just like this conflict between groups of tall-men, a conflict which the reader will immediately interpret as more clearly analogous to real-life racism. Our other protagonists also carry prejudices from growing up in a place where a marginalised group was in conflict with the dominant group over scarce resources. It's definitely impossible to communicate with these people, and you can only kill them.
Woah, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad!
But also, nobody walks away having had a realisation or unlearned their prejudices - because they don't have the tools they need to do that work. Yet. I do think, to an extent, it could happen - especially with Kabru, since it's suggested in the epilogue that Melini might become a safe-haven for demi-humans.
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To focus in on Kabru, the key here is his statement that you should think of demi-humans as "unknowable objects". Even his extraordinary powers of understanding have seemingly hit a limit. Part of this is just inherited prejudice, and doesn't need to have a complicated psychological explanation, any more than the elves who were prejudiced against him need one.
But also... this is probably somewhat linked to the way demi-humans seem to be considered "pseudo-monsters". They're the place that the strict delineation between the human and the monstrous is permeated. Laios, who is not interested in humans, remembers and is excited by Kuro. Chilchuck and Laios argue over whether it's OK to eat a mermaid. Kabru's prepared to (pretend to) roll with the idea that Laios ate the orcs.
But these are people, aren't they? Of course, this is a social construction, as we see from the fact that in the Eastern Archipelago, the label of "human" is reserved for tallmen, but in most of the rest of the world it depends on some obviously arbirary classification based on number of bones; "demi-humans" aren't in any essential way monstrous, except to an extent in their appearance, and physical location - due to their marginal social status, they're pushed out to live in unsafe places such as dungeons.
Therefore, Kabru's view of demi-humans as fundamentally "other", unable to be understood - monstrous - could be read as akin to abjection, the psychoanalytical concept described by Julia Kristeva. In order to create a bounded, secure superego, that thing which permeates and calls into question the border between self and other, human and animal, life and death, is rejected and pushed to the margin.
“Not me. Not that. But not nothing, either. A "something" that I do not recognize as a thing.[...] On the edge of nonexistence and hallucination, of a reality that, if I acknowledge it, annihilates me. There, abject and abjection are my safeguards. The primers of my culture.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 11) “It is thus not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order. ” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 13) “The pure will be that which conforms to an established taxonomy; the impure, that which unsettles it, establishes intermixture and disorder. [...] the impure will be those that do not confine themselves to one element but point to admixture and confusion.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 107) (discussing food prohibitions in Leviticus)
This is both (due to its affinity with food-loathing and disgust) a very fruitful concept to apply to dunmeshi, and a psychoanalytical theory which I wouldn't exactly cosign as True Facts About Human Psychological Development. You may also know the abject from its utilisation in the classic essay "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" by Barbara Creed - that's a lot more approachable than Kristeva if anyone's interested.
Key here, though, is that through the symbol of the "demi-human" is embodied a step between "human" and "monster" - and that's a prospect that puts at risk the whole notion of an absolute separation between those two categories in the first place. To Laios, that's something wonderful, and to Kabru, it's terrifying. We can see this principle further embodied in the relationship both characters have with the notion of becoming monstrous.
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To Laios, this is transcendent, and represents a renunciation of everything human - in fact, if it didn't, it wouldn't "count".
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To Kabru, it's a deeply-held fear, established by his childhood alienation (due to his illegitimacy, his eyes, and perhaps also his neurodivergency), deepened by monster-related trauma and the sense of responsibility and survivors guilt he feels for what happened at Utaya. His identity as a human who is not monstrous is key to his sense of stability and safety; he doesn't want to touch monsters, he doesn't even want to see them.
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To acknowledge a kinship, a possibility of similarity between the things he loves (humans) and the things he hates (monsters) would be more than touching them - it would be putting them inside him. We know, quite explicitly, that this notion is triggering to Kabru. He literally has what seems to be a flashback when he's about to eat the harpy omelette.
So he abjects it, classifying the demi-human as fundamentally unlike him - an unknowable object, or an object that he refuses to know. Because in understanding it, he would interject the things he hates and fears into his self, which is already, always under threat by that hated and feared object.
Of course, again, Kabru isn't very good at enacting this refusal in practice. For one, when he chooses between his desires and ingesting the feared object, eating monsters... he eats monsters. Part of this is treating himself badly, the "ends justify the means" mentality. His goal is to destroy all monsters, so if he needs to become monster-like to do that, he will. But part of it is also the other motivation that he didn't even seem to know about until he said it: he wants to become Laios' friend, and to learn from him how a person can like monsters. He wants, at least in some part of him, to reconcile the feared and hated object into something he can understand.
For another:
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Kabru can speak the kobold language. In the first place, while this may have been common in Utaya, it also could have been something he chose to learn, an early expression of his interest in understanding and talking to all sorts of people. It isn't the kind of thing you learn if you believe that communication between yourself and the group that speak it is impossible, is it?
It's possible to harbour prejudices against a group while being kind to an individual, and given Kabru has those prejudices regardless of his reasons, that is what he is doing. But also, his treatment of Kuro doesn't reflect a sincerely held belief that he's an "unknowable object" at all. His approach is exactly the same as it is to any other person: an analysis of goal and motive, and an attempt to help if he's sympathetic and their goals align - going out of his way to give language and local knowledge lessons in secret. His conviction that Mickbell and Kuro will truly become friends when they can properly communicate is completely contradictory to any sense of demi-humans as fundamentally different, or impossible to reach mutual understanding with. To me, it seems like this self-protective shield against the corruptive force demi-humans as an idea present to his identity, this abjection, when Kabru is face-to-face with one, just simply can't hold up against his finely honed skill of intellectual empathy. Perhaps because he's autistic, it seems his "empathy" is less an emotional mirror response, and more a set of cognitive skills for analysis of others. That instinctual, emotional empathy might not trigger when presented with a member of an out-group, but if it’s possible for Kabru to turn his cognitive empathy off, we don’t see him do it.
This isn't to say that this prejudice doesn't affect his behaviour. For one, it could negatively impact his judgement of politics and policy, where individual people don't enter into it. For another, I'm not convinced he'd be willing to overlook Mickbell's exploitative relationship with Kuro if Kuro wasn't a kobold. As it is, since both of them are satisfied, he doesn't feel like he needs to intervene, regardless of the fact Mickbell isn't paying Kuro. But if Daya and Holm were in a relationship, and Holm took both Daya's and his own share from their ventures, but only compensated her in living expenses and kept the rest, do you think he'd tolerate it, for example? Even if she said it was OK?
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Conclusion
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The kelpie chapter establishes that "people can never know what monsters are really thinking." That isn't just true of monsters, though.
True mutual understanding is impossible - between anyone. We can never truly understand another person's heart. This is touched on in, for example, the existence of shapeshifters and dopplegangers. Even a monster that seemed like a perfect copy of a person wouldn’t be that person, and wouldn’t be a satisfactory replacement.
We’re intended, I think, to understand the winged lion's repeated suggestions to just replace people who have been lost with copies as something uncanny, which demonstrates the way that the winged lion never manages to attain a complete understanding of humans. A version of a person who was created to fulfil your memories of them, to be the person who you wanted them to be, would be a terrible, miserable thing.
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Disagreeing, coming into conflict, and misunderstanding each other, are essential parts of what it means to be living beings, as fundamental as the need to eat.
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The only thing to do is not to take more than you need to eat to survive, and not impose your own desires onto others. To do your best to sincerely communicate your desires, even if they're embarrassing or vulnerable or strange, like Kabru eventually does with Laios; like Laios does, bit by bit, with the people around him; like Marcille does, Chilchuck does, Senshi does... to hope they will accept you, and do your best to understand them in return.
We can re-examine, in that context, Kabru's line about the elves' tendency to "explain nothing and take everything".
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They have the power to impose their preferred "menu" onto less powerful groups. And in that context, mutual understanding being impossible just means that they won't give up their power because they're asked nicely. Kabru's goal is to seize the truth that they won't give to him, and to create a situation where they can't take everything. Because he's accurately surmised that nothing about the treatment of short-lived races will change so long as the power imbalance remains. Despite the way he mistakenly ascribes part of that to "long-lived vs short-lived" or "human vs demi-human", the actual gulfs in understanding he identifies are structural, are about power and about access to material resources and safety.
I think he could come to recognise this. Yaad is teaching him political science after all, and while a prince's lessons on political science won't exactly get at much that's radical or invested in the interests and perspectives of the marginalised (Capital is a critique of for a reason after all...) I believe in Kabru's ability to learn critically and get more from a lesson than it was intended to teach.
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Y'ALL CAN EXCUSE RACISM?
Let's get one thing straight: I have no part in this chaotic mess (infact, I have blocked all the accounts mentioned below), but it's grinding my gears how it's devolving into another petty fanfic drama: case 607. I know this drama is getting the attention for certain individuals who are demonstrating mean girl behaviour and gossiping about other writers behind their backs. However, I am solely focused on addressing the racist and discriminatory remarks made by these individuals in the leaked text messages.
For those not in the loop, there's been a huge drama in the fanfic community involving leaked text messages from a group chat of four prominent members. In these messages, two users - Fae and Bel - have admitted to sending hate anons and talking smack about other writers behind their backs. Two other members left the group after it was revealed that B tried to make amends with someone who these two, Em and Ange, don't particularly care for. As a move to clear their names, Em exposed all the texts, trying to prove that Fae and Bel are the real villains here.
But wait, there's more! In these same chats, Bel not only mocked fellow non-English speakers but also bragged about sending rat emojis to an 18-year-old Pakistani writer who was already receiving racist anons. While everyone is focused on getting back at these two women for being shady af, it's mind-boggling how Em and Ange are suddenly jumping on the anti-racism train.
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These two ladies stayed in the same chat as a fellow Pakistani writer was driven away because of racism, knowing full well that one of their own was contributing to it, and said NOTHING! Zero discouragement, no condemnation - they only hopped off when things got personal.
So here it is… I've had it with all of you hypocrites. You praise and encourage these women at every turn, feeding their egos like they're the second coming of Beyonce. But let's not forget who's always stirring up drama in this fandom - hint: it's these same people with a sense of entitlement the size of a planet. The issue is groupthink and y'all have all jumped on the bandwagon. You're worse than HBO's marketing department because just like their shitty teams, everyone involved here SUCKS ASS. You don't have to pick a side because they are all petty, mean losers. Bel and Fae are facing the consequences of their actions, which they rightfully deserve.
However, Em's exposé on Bel's racism seems more like an opportunistic move and it's disappointing that so many of you are supporting it. It's a predictable cycle now; there will be a half-hearted apology, an announcement of a hiatus, and then tons of people will flock to their inboxes to shower them with praise and excuses. It's ridiculous! I know there are many who feel the same way as me but are afraid to speak up because they don't want to upset the "village elders" and risk losing their connections and engagements. It's a joke atp!
Instead of taking responsibility for their own wrongdoings, they will come up with a list of 10 different cyber crimes by others to divert attention from their own nonsense. These very same women have confessed to creating multiple fake accounts, secretly stalking servers without mods noticing, and constantly harassing individuals through anon messages.
Yet, we are supposed to consider them as examples of moral integrity and ethical behavior? 😒
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marlynnofmany · 2 days
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Not Special
The refueling station was on a small moon in the back end of nowhere, close to nothing but a couple of wormhole junctions. Since it had a little convenience store and everything, it really gave off “7/11 next to a desert highway” vibes. Just, y’know, in space. The moon wasn’t big enough for proper gravity or air on its own, so someone had installed a gravity generator under the dusty red ground. And turned it up just a smidge too high, but I wasn’t going to complain.
I was going to buy pre-packaged alien snacks at the store while my coworkers handed the refueling. Mimi was calling the shots, tentacles waving and gravelly voice audible from here, while the Frillian twins handled the heavy lifting of connector hoses and Captain Sunlight was at the payment kiosk. The others were either staying onboard or already browsing the aisles.
I’d just picked up a pack of something colorful (doing an artful fumble-and-recovery because of the gravity) when a rowdy group of Armorlites trooped in. I didn’t pay them too much attention — just a bunch of macho dinosaurs with holstered blasters and bipedal swagger; totally normal here — but one of them said something that brought me up short.
“Hey look, another human,” said the cheerful voice. “Maybe you can get some tips on how not to be such a disappointment.” Raucous laughter followed.
I frowned in their direction and saw that they did have a human with them: a pale and unassuming guy just a bit shorter and stockier than me. He looked annoyed by the comment, but not surprised.
When he walked over to me, I asked, “What’s that about?” The Armorlites were already ignoring him.
The guy sighed. “They heard a lot of stories about humans before they hired me, and I don’t meet their expectations.”
“What kind of stories?”
“Humans doing daring things, like running for hours to get medicine to dying people, catching a diseased rat before it infected an entire space station, throwing fruit at charging fauna hard enough to make it leave…” He ticked things off on his fingers. “Exorcizing a ghost, and riding a hoversled like a skateboard fast enough to catch a bomb before it blew up. How am I supposed to compete with that?” He threw his hands in the air.
“Um,” I said, putting down the snack I was still holding. “Would it make it better or worse to know those were all the same person?”
“What?”
“The rat wasn’t actually diseased, the ghost was a howling dog, and I didn’t know the thing was explosive when I rushed to catch it,” I said. “And I wasn’t the only person throwing things at the fauna.”
“What?” he repeated, with a spread-arms gesture that smacked into the shelf. Rubbing his hand, he asked, “That was all you?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “Unless there are other humans doing the same things, which is possible.”
He raked fingers through his hair, setting it at odd angles. “I can’t believe this. I’d tell them, but they’d just want to hire you instead.”
I rushed to assure him, “I’ve got a job already, and I don’t want to take yours.” I glanced over at the Armorlites, who were grabbing food and accessories. One clicked a flashlight on in another’s face, prompting curses from him and laughter from the others. That tracked from what I’d seen of Armorlite culture before. Toughness was important. Kindness, not so much. “What do you do for them?”
He sighed again. “Bookkeeping, officially. They needed somebody to handle the boring stuff like money and permits while they focus on hunting the biggest animals they can sell.”
“Gotcha. That sounds … exciting.”
“It’s not. It’s like going on a trip with my cousins again, except they’re even bigger and make fun of me for not having claws.”
“You’ve got other stuff going for you, though!” I said. “We just need to figure which of your differences they’ll respect most.”
“I’m all ears,” he said with a certain level of sarcasm. “Please tell me what about my fragile human physique will get me respect from the Mighty.”
Oh right, they did call themselves that. I’d almost forgotten. At least they were a straightforward species without a lot of mysterious depths.
“Well,” I said, thinking. “They like fighting. You’re more suited to stealth than they are, small enough to hide and do sneak attacks that they wouldn’t see coming. What if you introduced them to rubber band warfare, and sniped from hidden parts of the ship?”
“Nope,” he said. “That would just end with me cornered somewhere, and them showing off how even thin scales are tougher than my skin.”
“Good point. Oh! What kind of animals do they hunt? You said big ones, but do you know the specific names?” I got out my phone and brought up the database of known fauna that I’d talked Captain Sunlight into buying for me. As her own hired animal expert, it was really the kind of thing that I should have. My vet training on Earth only went so far.
“Uhhh, I think the last one was a treehorn,” he said. “Wait, they talked about going for Argoshan Dagger Birds next.”
“Right. Now what kind of noises do those make…” I typed quickly. Big creatures indeed, by the looks of it: Dagger Birds had prevented more than one colony from getting a foothold in the wilds of a nearby world, and were unlikely to stop being a threat anytime soon. I skimmed the rundown for the vocal files. “Here we go. Mating call.” Keeping the sound low enough for just us to hear, I played the croaking warble.
“Okay?” the guy said, confused.
“Can you imitate that?” I asked. “Give it a shot. Kinda like a frog. Woarrrk.”
Looking skeptical, he did. The expression on his face said he wasn’t impressed with his own efforts, but it sounded accurate enough to me.
“Great!” I said. “Give that a bit of practice, then you can go out with your crew and impress everybody by luring in some targets for them.”
“I could,” he said thoughtfully. “I usually stay on the ship while they’re hunting, but it might be worth a try. Can I have a copy of that sound for practice?”
He got out his own phone and I played it again so he could record it. The Armorlites were dumping things onto the front counter, ready to pay and leave. I caught sight of bright packaging that I recognized, and I had another idea.
“Thanks,” the guy said. “This might actually help. What was your name?”
“Robin Bennett,” I said with a belated handshake.
“Oscar Tennyson,” he replied. “Thanks for your help. Looks like I should grab my stuff and get going.”
“Before you go. See those tall cans with the purple labels?” I pointed at something the Armorlites were buying.
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever tried that?”
“No! They get wasted on it; I’ve steered far clear.”
I grinned with all my teeth. “That’s not alcohol. That’s caffeine.”
“What?”
“Humans can process caffeine better than most species on our own planet, and just about everybody in space. It’s a poison to most. It gets them super drunk, but for you—” I pointed at him with glee. “For you, it’s just a bit of energy. Pick your moment, then walk in casually while they’re getting wasted, and slam one down. See what happens.”
He was smiling now. “You’re sure? It’s really just caffeine? How much?”
“I checked into it before. One of those huge cans is like a watered-down coffee. These guys are absolute lightweights, and they don’t even know.”
He grinned to split his face. “That is the best news.”
One of them called for him to hurry up, and he bid me a quick goodbye before scampering off. I saw him grab food cubes, water, and a six-pack of caffeine, which he bundled onto the counter as the Armorlites headed out the door.
“Be right there! Just getting some stuff!”
They didn’t look, simply telling him not to waste any time. He smiled his way through the purchase.
Peeking over the shelves, I smiled too. Then I went back to my own purchases, with thoughts of getting an energy drink or two in his honor.
~~~
These started as backstory tidbits for the main character from this book, and turned into a sprawling adventure series in their own right. The sequel book will feature a return of some familiar faces. And Patreon is coming soon — even the free tier will be a handy way to keep up with the ongoing shenanigans of this particular human in space.
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fluentmoviequoter · 23 hours
Text
Mom and Dad are Fighting Again
Requested Here!
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!cop!wife!reader
Summary: You and Tim become Lucy's station parents, and you show your care for her in different ways.
Warnings: fluff, brief angst, grumpy!Tim to softie!Tim, "mom and dad are fighting again" is a Castle reference
Word Count: 2.5k+ words
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“Bradford!” Wade calls.
“Which one?” you and Tim ask together.
Wade sighs, and Angela adds, “He’s tired just thinking about the conversation. That means he needs Tim.”
“Tim,” Wade clarifies. “Let the other Bradford help Chen prep the shop. I need to talk to you about something.”
“Ooh,” Angela and Lucy taunt.
You roll your eyes, but it is a bit like being called into the principal’s office. Luckily, Tim and Wade get along well. You tap Lucy’s shoulder and wave for her to follow you. After you sign for your gear, Lucy gets hers and Tim’s. Once you’re in the garage and your bag is in your shop, Lucy turns to you with a pout.
“If a Bradford had to be my TO, why couldn’t it have been you?” she asks.
“Tim is the best there is, Luce. I know he can be grumpy and push a little too hard, but I promise learning from him is worth it,” you reply.
“At least I have you to stand up for me.”
“Ah, so that’s why you wanted to be my friend.”
“We’re cops, not friends,” Tim interjects as he walks out of the doorway behind you. “Let’s go, boot.”
“We’re not friends,” Lucy murmurs under her breath. “Says the guy who’s married to another cop.”
“What was that?” Tim asks.
“Tim,” you warn gently.
You shake your head, and he takes a deep breath before getting in the driver’s seat. As you climb into your shop beside him, Lucy rolls her window down and gestures for you to do the same.
“Dad says he loves you,” she says with a wide smile.
“Chen!” Tim yells.
“I love him too. Be safe, both of you,” you call before pulling out.
“We need to talk about boundaries, Chen,” Tim grumbles.
“Better than not talking,” she argues.
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Tim leans against the side of the shop and stares straight ahead. It’s an interesting situation, but no matter how long he looks, he can’t decide what the best approach is. Lucy has spouted numerous ideas, and he’s vetoed each one.
“We could call for a lift truck,” she suggests as she paces on the sidewalk.
“Can’t get close enough,” Tim replies.
“Then you know what we have to do.”
Tim looks at Lucy, who now has her hands on her hips and a determined look.
“We have to call smarter reinforcements. Call Bradford,” she demands.
“I’m not calling my wife because we can’t- how could she even help?”
“She’s brilliant. You of all people have to know that.”
“Sounds like you should be running her fan club,” Tim complains.
“Having a hero isn’t wrong. If you don’t call her, I will.”
“And I’ll write you up.”
Lucy sighs and turns to look at the scene again. Tim runs through a few more ideas in his mind, but they all end in a worse situation than the current one. He sighs as he pulls his phone out of his pocket.
“Hey,” he greets when you answer.
Lucy turns around quickly and claps quietly. Tim glares at her, but her excitement doesn’t diminish as he continues talking to you.
“Are you busy?” he asks.
“Just tell her we need help!” Lucy implores.
“Yeah, that’s Chen. And we do need help.”
Lucy pumps a fist over her head in victory. When Tim ends the call, though, she steps back and quiets.
A few minutes later, you park beside Tim’s shop and exit your car with a smile.
“Someone called for the cavalry?” you joke. “So, what’s so strange Tim Bradford had to call for backup?”
Tim doesn’t answer but grabs your waist and leads you to stand between him and Lucy. He points up through a gap in the trees and you follow his finger. Your responding “huh” does little to make Tim think you’ll have an easier time solving the problem.
“What am I supposed to do about it?” you ask.
Tim turns to glare at Lucy again, and she ducks behind you. You look at Tim from the corner of your eye and he accepts your silent reprimand and gives Lucy some space.
“Did you try to get up there?” you ask.
“No. There’s no good approach,” Tim answers.
“I thought we could climb onto the roof beside it for recon and find a way to reach it,” Lucy says. “Or maybe get a ladder truck in the yard.”
“Roof recon isn’t a terrible idea,” you agree. “Why didn’t you do that?”
“Because I don’t agree that it would get us any more information than we can get from the ground,” Tim explains.
“We can’t get to it from here, though,” Lucy argues. “This park is protected, and we can’t bring CSU out here to traipse all over it. That house is our best bet.”
“Chen, you are not in charge,” Tim snaps.
“Tim,” you warn softly. “Just hear her out.”
She’s my rookie. I don’t have to do anything she says.”
“I’m not saying to do exactly what she says, but you’re training her, not dictating her. Give her a chance to work this.”
Tim clenches his jaw and breathes out of his nose. The situation is stressful, you know, because every element of being a cop is. But Tim arguing with Lucy will only delay the inevitable.
“Please?” you add. “If her plan to scout from the roof doesn’t work, then I will call the park service and tell them to deal with it.”
“We don’t even know who owns that house.”
“One way to find out,” Lucy says.
You let Lucy take the lead and stand beside Tim on the porch as she talks to the owner of the home. He doesn’t seem inclined to let three police officers climb onto his roof to deal with something that he can’t see.
“I’m done talkin’ to ya,” he says before slamming the door in Lucy’s face. It opens a moment later and he adds, “One more thing.”
You can tell he’s prepared to do something stupid and pull Lucy back quickly. His fist misses her face by an inch, and you move her toward Tim before turning toward the homeowner. His second hit is luckier and lands against the side of your nose, but he’s not trained like you are. When you hit him in the same spot, he goes down hard and fast. You raise your hand to your face and immediately feel blood coming from your nose. There’s likely no real damage, just a busted blood vessel or two.
Lucy begins apologizing as Tim calls for backup and another unit to deal with the issue in the park. He returns his radio to his belt and lays his hands on your shoulders to look at you.
“We’re going back to the shop. Stay with him until backup gets here, Chen,” he commands.
“Yes, sir,” she answers quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Lucy,” you offer.
“We’ll discuss that later,” Tim interjects. “Let’s go.”
Tim keeps a hand on you during every step of the short walk back to the shop. He presses a wad of gauze under your nose and uses his other hand to tip your head slightly forward. When the top of your head hits his chest, you feel him sigh.
“What would you have done? If Chen wasn’t here?” he asks.
“I don’t know, Tim. A huge, gaudy murder confession nailed to a tree in a park is a new one. Park department wouldn’t have been much help, so it may have been one to pass off. Or trespass.”
Tim looks away from you when Lucy returns. You cover his hand to pull the gauze from your face, and when you see there’s no fresh blood, you rip pull an antiseptic wipe from the first aid kit and clean the dried blood from your chin and Tim’s hand. Lucy waits silently, and now she looks like the one waiting to be called to see the principal.
“What were you thinking?” Tim demands when you release his hand. “You never just stand in front of someone’s door. If we hadn’t been there, or if he had opened the door with a knife, what would have happened, Chen?”
“It won’t happen again, sir.”
“You’re right it won’t! I don’t know why you refuse to listen to me or remember basic, common procedures, but it will get you killed, and I’m not going to let that happen. I will take your badge if this is the kind of police work you’ll do once you’re out on your own!”
“Tim!” you interrupt. “She messed up. We all have. Maybe let her prove that she learned something before you threaten her career.”
“No! I don’t want her on the streets alone. I don’t want to imagine what I’d hear if she was partnered with you someday.”
“Drop it,” you demand as you stand.
Your chest presses against Tim’s, and his eyes bore into yours. Lucy watches on with her hands pulled tightly behind her back and guilt in her eyes.
“Or what?” Tim asks.
“You’re making it about me. But you’re done yelling at Chen. Lucy, get in my shop, we’re all going back to the station.”
“For what?” Tim scoffs.
“To learn some human decency, apparently. And if you’re still acting like this when we get back, I’m taking Chen for the rest of the week.”
Tim watches you toss the keys to Lucy before she walks away. His brow furrows and you realize he thought you were leaving him to drive back with Lucy.
“You trust her to drive your shop?” he asks.
“What is this about?” you counter. “Because she was just in a bad place, which is the best that could have happened.”
“She doesn’t apply what she knows. Lucy is smart and she’s got instincts, but she gets excited and jumps too soon.”
“Then walk her through everything. Standing back and being a drill sergeant is only going to make her rush more.”
“When did you become an expert on being a TO?”
Tim smiles softly at you, and you pat his chest.
“Guess you’re teaching me, too.”
“Bradford,” Wade calls over the radio. “The guy you booked for assault on an officer is claiming that Chen harassed him. I need your body cams as soon as you return.”
Tim pulls the seatbelt too hard and locks it. You answer Wade that you’ll all be back with your cams shortly. After replacing the radio on the dash, you lay a hand on Tim’s arm and encourage him to take a deep breath.
“That’s not Lucy’s fault,” you remind Tim.
“It was her plan,” Tim responds.
“I agreed with it. Does that make me a terrible cop?”
“Of course it doesn’t, but this isn’t about you!”
“Then what’s it about?” you ask, your voice raising to meet his.
“I feel like I’m failing her and that’s why we keep ending up here!”
Tim huffs as he finishes, and you watch him carefully. His shoulders drop, and you want to hug him but know better than to try while he’s driving.
“You’re not failing her. But there is always room for improvement. Being a teacher doesn’t mean you can’t learn, too.”
“How do you trust her like this?”
“You said it yourself. She’s smart and has good instincts, but she needs a bit of room to learn and hone those skills without feeling pressured to be perfect.”
Tim nods, and you whisper an apology for yelling at him. He shakes his head, and you agree that he doesn’t need to apologize either.
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When you exit Wade’s office after surrendering your body cam and making your statement, you hear Angela ask Lucy where you and Tim are. Or, as you’re referred to at the station, The Bradfords.
“Oh, Mom and Dad are fighting again,” Lucy jokes.
“About you?” Angela asks, playing along but aware that Lucy isn’t completely wrong in her phrasing.
“What else?” Lucy counters.
“Chen, a word?” Tim asks as he moves around you.
You watch as he apologizes, and smile to yourself. Angela winks at you as she passes, and you join Tim and Lucy.
“Wade said I could stay with you two for the rest of shift. What are we up to?”
“We still have to deal with the murder confession in the trees,” Tim groans. “Hey, Nolan, have you dealt with a murder confession yet?”
Nolan shakes his head, and Tim looks around for Bishop. When he sees that she’s not close, Tim steps into Wade’s office and asks him to transfer the call to Nolan.
“Thanks, Officer Bradford!” Nolan replies happily.
“No problem,” Tim says.
Lucy hides her smile as she walks beside you. Every moment spent with her requires a level of parenting, and though you’re relatively close in age, you and Tim feel responsible for Lucy. As more than a cop. You show it in your own ways, but she knows how much she means to you and Tim and feels the same.
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During one of your very few days off, you want to surprise Tim with dinner. The recipe that you want has seemingly disappeared, though, and you’ll have to call Lucy to get it again. 
When her phone rings, and she answers, “Hey, Mom,” Tim shakes his head.
“No personal calls in my shop,” Tim says.
“You answer for her.”
Tim’s brows furrow until he realizes Lucy isn’t talking to her biological mom, but her station mom. He nods to let her know she can continue talking to you.
“Dad says hi,” she says, just to bother Tim.
“Dad says he needs a day off, too,” Tim grumbles.
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“Don’t you dare answer that,” Tim says against your lips. “Date night, not LAPD night.”
“It’s Luce,” you argue as you reach for your phone.
Tim catches your wrist and brings it to his lips to distract you. Your phone rings again, though, and Tim’s chimes with an incoming text. He releases your arm hesitantly and pulls you so he can lay his head against your shoulder.
“Hi, Luce,” you answer.
“Put me on speaker!” she requests happily.
“Alright. Tim and I are both here.”
“I passed my rookie exam! I know you’re both off today, but Sergeant Grey knew we couldn’t wait to hear the results. Thank you, both of you, so much!”
“Congratulations!” you and Tim say together.
“We’ll celebrate when we get back,” you add.
“I knew you could do it,” Tim says. “Good job, Lucy.”
“Okay, okay, I need to call my mom and tell her that she was wrong. Enjoy the rest of your time off.”
The line beeps as she ends the call, and you and Tim lock eyes.
“She called us first, didn’t she?” you ask.
“We really are turning into her parents,” Tim says with an exaggerated shudder.
“You look pretty good for a dad,” you tease. “And you care about Lucy no matter how much you pretend not to.”
Tim looks at you for a moment before asking, “You know Lucy’s real parents set the bar low, right?”
“Let me have this. She’s my daughter and she’s no longer a boot.”
Tim groans, but before you can tease him again, he pulls you down to continue kissing you. Until your phone begins buzzing nonstop with excited texts from Lucy, at least.
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uncommonsunlight · 2 days
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Final thoughts on this before I put Watcher firmly in my rear-view mirror
They are bad at business. The other content creators that came for them in videos showed that they should not be struggling. They're doing something wrong with their money but rather than fix it or get help with that they tried to make it our problem and that sucks.
That's not something they should crash and burn for but nothing they said convinced me they heard those concerns or think they were wrong initially. They are reacting to a worse response than they anticipated, they are not genuinely feeling bad.
Their quiet likes or reblogs of their equally out of touch friends supportive posts really got under my skin. This is what they really think, they are not genuinely sorry.
They obviously hired PR and listened but why didn't they do that before this launch? They still have a lot of ego to overcome and I don't know if they will be able to do that.
Finally they got to this point because they didn't want to do the work necessary of growing a media company in normal mode. Like Self-promo, hiring people who are capable of doing many tasks and then branching out when they have sustained growth, and putting out lower cost but entertaining content. So they tried to grow it on easy mode and fucked up so spectacularly that now they'll have to do it on hard mode. Even if I was still invested in the personalities (I'm not) I'm also not particularly interested in watching new content I know they're just pretending they like to do.
I'm tired. I woke up not caring whether they did reply or not and I'm not picking the sub back up. There's a real popular saying on tumblr: When someone shows you who they are believe them. I choose to believe them. Maybe I'll look in from time to time. But for now, goodbye Watcher.
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lqveharrington · 2 days
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Hidden Hatred | V.
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summary: You’re a new Overlord and meet Vox for the first time. Who knew what that first interaction would do for the both of you down the line.
pairing: Vox x witch Overlord!reader
includes: name calling, mentions of murder, technically enemies to lovers, Vox being whipped by you, jealously, suggestiveness, teasing, fluff, angst if you squint, (let me know if i missed any!)
a/n: 1st request for Vox done! Also, tell me why I love giving them powers like wanda? it’s so cool tho
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When you became an Overlord, you quickly recognized all the other Overlords at meetings, matching their personality to name. For example, Alastor’s voice effects gave the illusion of a radio, hence Radio Demon. Or Carmilla and her pointe shoes made of angelic steel. However, there were some Overlords who never attended the meetings, sending in one of the associates in place. The Vees being the only Overlords to do so, typically sending the youngest to attend the meetings. In doing this, you never met the others, refusing to associate online presence with their real self.
So when Vox came in place for Velvette for one of the Overlord meetings, you were slightly confused.
“Vox, how lovely for you to join us this afternoon.” Carmilla gestured toward the Television Demon across the table, her stare sharp when he tapped away on his phone.
“Uh-huh, can we make this quick? I have a company to run.” He threw her a bored look and scanned the rest of the room, noticing a new face. “Who the hell is this bitch?”
Your face jumps in surprise at his words before giving him a small smile. “It’s—“
“You know what? I don’t give a shit.” Vox glanced back at his phone. “Please, continue Carmilla.”
You huff, conjuring up red wisps from your fingertips to mess with while the meeting continues. You thought dealing with Velvette when you first met was a pain, but Vox was ten times worse than she was, and you just met! He seemed interesting, and you never expected a demon Overlord to have a television for a head, but his disinterest in you put you in a sour mood. You genuinely wanted to understand how he was an Overlord, but it seemed impossible with his nature.
“Now dear, let’s not think of murderous thoughts.” Alastor hummed in your direction when he saw you send a death glare toward the Television Demon as you left the meeting room, to which you only received an eye roll back. “Only I can have an enemy like him.”
“Al, during our short break he told me to fuck off and shoved his finger in my face!” You seeth as your eyes glow red with more wisps emitting from your fingers. “I’m going to murder him.”
Alastor caught your arm, “You will not do such things to an Overlord. If he appears at the next meeting and continues to act rude toward one of our gracious ladies, please tell me.”
“Of course, Al.” You snap your fingers, creating a portal to your Overlord territory. “I’ll see you in a month.”
Although you weren’t going to see all the Overlords in one place for a month, that didn’t mean a certain Television Demon consumed your thoughts because of your behavior toward one another during one meeting. It seemed as if every piece of technology reminded you of him, causing some unwanted thoughts to form during wanting times.
Much like you, Vox’s thoughts were filled to the brim of you. How has he never met you? How has Velvette never mentioned a new Overlord in Pentagram City? Oh, he wanted to know more about you. It was only a matter of time before he realized he was entirely whipped by your presence.
“What’s up your ass?” Velvette stepped inside the elevator with Vox as he messed with his suit for the nth time. She already had a suspicion something was up when he decided to tag along for the meeting, but he was acting nervous for a group of people he disrespected. How the fuck does that even work? “Vox.”
“What?” He whipped his head over to his shorter associate as the elevator door dinged.
She gave him an unimpressed look, “What’s going on in your system? You look like you’re going to reboot any second now.”
“Do I?” He reached up to touch his screen, pulling out his phone for vitals.
Velvette furrowed her brows at his reaction when they walked into the meeting room, a couple of other Overlords mingling amongst themselves. “Okay, what’s the fucking problem? Is there someone you—“
“Vox and Velvette.” Carmilla took her slow strides into the room, quickly diminishing the added noise. “To what do we owe the pleasure of two out of the three Vees?”
“This fuck wanted to join me for no reason.” Velvette jabbed her thumb in Vox’s direction, earning a snort from you. All heads turned as you covered your mouth, letting a quick apology fall from your lips.
Carmilla raised a brow, “Thank you… We’ll start off with the…”
Her voice soon became white noise to Vox as he took his seat, glancing up at you every few seconds. God, he hated the way you would quietly speak with Alastor or how you made eye contact with him just to break it with a glare. He hated the way you always dressed to your heart's content and how you failed to respond to Carmilla when asked a question. He hated how he failed to actually hate you.
“Vox, you’re wrecking Carmilla’s table,” Velvette murmured in his direction as Vox’s claws dug deeper into the table’s top.
He looked down at the table, pulling his claws out. He was too focused on your quiet laughter with Alastor to notice the damage. As your quiet laughter subsided, you made eye contact with Vox again before glancing down at the claw marks, and raising a brow at the television.
‘It’s boring.’ Vox mouthed toward you.
You pursed your lips at him, not understanding the game he was playing. ‘Of course it is, it always is.’
Vox rolled his eyes in a joking manner, shooting his attention back to the Overlord in front of the table. You, on the other hand, shot a quizzical look toward him. Sure, your dead heart sped up a bit, and you felt your face warm, but it was only an exchange of two sentences. You felt the red wisps emit from your fingertips again from confusion, pulling at the soft fog created by the magic.
“My dear, what’s gotten you all out of sorts?” Alastor caught up with you when the meeting adjourned with a sharpened grin, noticing your encounter with the Television Demon.
“What do you mean?” You glance back at Vox who offered you a small smirk. Waving him off, you let a small smile slip through.
“That, my dear!” He squinted his eyes toward the television. “Don’t fraternize yourself with him, he’s involved in too much trouble.”
You tilt your head back to Alastor, “We’re in Hell, I can’t think of any reason why anyone would not be in trouble.”
“What I mean to say is don’t get too comfortable with that… thing. It’s not ideal.” His ears fell flat as you paid zero attention to him.
“I won’t. Plus, I’m sure he got bored and bothered the first person he saw. After all, he did tell me to fuck off during the last meeting.” You tuck your arms behind your back. “Don’t worry so much about me, Al. I can handle myself just fine.”
“I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about the man you’re associating yourself with.” He patted your head. “Until next time, my dear.”
You watch as he slips away with his shadows, rolling your eyes at his antics. It was highly unlikely that you would start a friendship with Vox, considering the people he lives with. Alastor had nothing to worry about, it was just a moment of boredom consuming the both of you.
At least, that’s what you told yourselves. Satan knows that the first interaction was uncalled for, but it wasn’t Vox’s fault. No, he blamed himself for the image he had to uphold and being struck by a new Overlord’s looks. But as time passed, along with meetings, the urge to see each other became stronger, resulting in meetings outside of the Carmine building.
Literally.
“Doll, you take way too long to get here.” Vox pulled you toward him by your hand, linking them together.
“Aw, I’m sorry. Were you too scared to be here all on your own? Too afraid there are no bodyguards to protect you?” You tease with a wide grin. You watch as he rolls his eyes at you, tugging you closer. You laugh while patting his chest, “I had to deal with an incompetent sinner. I know you wanted to spend more time together before the meeting.”
“You have to make it up to me now.” He smiled down at you, eyes filled with admiration.
You hum, your own eyes gleaming in such a lovesick look. “Like what, Mister Vox? How should I make it up to you?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” He tilted your head further up, the electricity over his hat reflecting his fast heartbeat. “What do you think?”
“I think…” You flit your gaze to his lips before moving them back up to meet his eyes. “I shouldn’t be in debt to you.”
“Is that so, doll?” He squints as he tightens his hold on you. “I think I’m deserving of something at least.”
“Mm, no.” You squeeze his hand. He gives you a playful look before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You grin before reciprocating, using your free hand to hold his shoulder. The both of you separate, eyes fluttering open with soft smiles. “Must you defy me, handsome?”
“Only when I want to.” He whispered against your lips as he pressed more kisses on your lips. You giggle as you let your red wisps emit from your fingers, watching as your wisps pull him away from you. “Doll…”
“Mm?” You stay still as he continues to get pulled away by your powers.
“What are you doing?”
You flick your wrist, the wisps disappearing. “Nothing, you’re the one moving away from me.” Vox grabs at your waist, pulling you flush against him. You squeal as he peppers kisses across your face, “Vox, we could be seen.”
“Who’s going to come down this alleyway?” He left one last kiss on your lips, smiling as a fool would.
“The other Overlords who are going to attend the meeting.” You push his screen away as you catch the time on your watch. “I thought you didn’t want anyone to know?”
“Yeah, but they should know you’re taken.” He squeezed your waist.
“You want them to think we hate fuck each other?” You grab his wrists as they sway you around. “You know they still think we hate each other right?”
“Who said we don’t?” He bared his teeth to you, earning an eye roll. “You can’t tell me you don’t like it—“
“Shut up.” You sucker punch his shoulder. “The Tech Overlord dating the Witch Overlord? Never.”
“Never.” He linked your hands again, leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I despise you.”
“Horrible thought.” You pull him along out of the alley, separating as soon as you see Alastor appear out of the shadows. You watched the Radio Demon send you a sharpened grin, which you returned with a small smile.
Although you kept your relationship a secret from the likes of sinners and Overlords, both the Technology Overlord and Witch Overlord knew what they were to each other, even if that meant it was kept hidden.
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©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms
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Yandere(?) Jing Yuan
MY HUSBAND ✨
A little warning though. I quit playing HSR after 2.something. I don't remember. But it's because my devices can't handle it anymore :( at least I got Jing Yuan before I deleted the game. So I am probably going to put some wrong information here. Especially the timeline. Forgive me! Also,I lied. I'm not making this fic NSFW. Have some not so good angst LMAO Of course, there's spoilers so... Spoiler alert! Notes: Highly OOC Jing Yuan. He's a lonely man fr fr. Also, an extra long fic as an apology for disappearing like that lol. Also, not even sure if this counts as yandere. But just to be safe, i'm putting it here. So, dead dove, do not eat.
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Being a long time trailblazer from the Astral Express made you develop quite the wanderlust in you.
You were originally from Xianzhou. A spoiled kid of a rich family that decided to embrace the free life when the Astral Express first visited your planet.
You developed a strong friendship with Himeko and Welt, alongside treating Dan Heng and March as your little siblings/children.
When Stelle arrived in the Astral Express, it seems that your little family is complete. Sure, Stelle may be a little gremlin with a Stellaron inside, but hey. Family is family.
When the talks of going to Xianzhou appeared, you volunteered to guide Stelle and March around alongside Welt. You did miss your family, and wanted to prove that you weren't the same immature person before.
Well, you know what happened next.
The wharf being abandoned, littered with mara struck soldiers...
It seems that Xianzhou became worse for wear.
Fearing for the worst, you urged the three to follow you and defeated the Mara stricken soldiers in such precision.
Seriously. You follow Nihility since you want to be more laid back in your life. But why does life keep forcing lemons down your throat? Now, it's even your family being dragged in your bad luck!
You got dragged by the three around until you all got to the square, and immediately bade goodbye for the time being. Promising to help them as soon as they need to. For now, you need to get back to your family.
Once you got to the manor, you burst through the door and was immediately smacked to shit by your parents.
"YOU PRODIGAL CHILD! NOW YOU COME BACK HOME?! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE..."
A nagfest, you took in their worry filled words with a sharp edge before calming them down. You asked if any in your family have been mara stricken, but all of them shook their head thankfully enough.
Then, you noticed a man by the tea room. It seems that your parents forgot etiquette and abandoned their guest.
"AH! Forgive us, General! It's just this child... Oooh this child!"
You took a peak and was stunned.
Jing Yuan. The guy whose family is from the Realm-Keeping Commissions? And he's the general now? That's...
"You remember Yuan-yuan, right? Y/N'er?"
Oh you remember alright. How can you not? You loved this man a lot.
You squirmed under Jing Yuan's golden gaze that's filled with an unreadable emotion that you're sure had to do with your past.
And the past is what he desperately holds onto up to this day...
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"General! The astral express--"
Jing Yuan's usual relaxed demeanor stiffened, his eyes going rigid. If one looks close, the chess piece he's holding onto cracked, making it glitch.
His face softener a bit as to not scare Yanqing more who stepped back a bit.
"Is that so? Thank you for the information, Yanqing. You can go rest now."
The kid nodded before walking away and leaving Jing Yuan alone.
His world, once so bleak and dry, suddenly had a drop of rain that he once missed and took advantage of, thinking it won't go away.
"Y/N..." He whispered to himself, putting down the piece and washing his face with his palm.
Other than Jing Liu and the others, you were one of the few people he's close to. Ever since you both were in the academy, you've always didn't like his quite stubborn nature. He didn't like his academic strand, wanting to be a cloud knight.
He noticed you pulling a face whenever he cuts classes, sleeps, loafs around... Sure, you were spoiled to bits, but at least you have the decency to be good in school.
So, he made it a point to annoy you greatly. Always popping around the block wherever you were, following you while talking your ear off... Doesn't help that he's a classmate, it's a daily annoyance that you gradually welcomed over time.
It's a friendship born from being together all the time. You watch him train with Jing Liu, taught him stuff he didn't understand, and in return, he would teach you how to fend for yourself since you always told him you wanted to travel the galaxy.
And that friendship developed into something more intimate. Exchanging shy giggles, flirty whispers, firsts of everything... Even without a label other than lovers, you both knew that you two are destined and tied together. Soulmates, if you will.
He's happy that you were by his side. With the quintet and you, how much more happiness does he need in his life?
But sometimes, so much happiness meant that there will be a terrible thing happening the next day.
Fortunately for you, you left Xianzhou before the Baiheng incident in the process of saving the Xianzhou Yuque. It was a timely flight that Jing Yuan supported so that you will be safe from the chaos that will unfold.
Unfortunately for Jing Yuan though, he paid the price of seeing his friends fall one by one.
Baifeng, sacrificing herself when fighting Shuhu, Dan Feng creating a draconic abomination in the process of trying to ressurect Baifeng and solving the Vidyadhara reproduction problem, Yingxing being backfired and becoming immortal stricken with mara, and JIng Liu, also struck with mara.
He watches as his beloved quintet crumble to dust in such a short time, even defeating his own beloved master in order to save so many lives and bring justice to those lost.
Jing Yuan had no one. No one to turn to, no one to confide in.
In times like those, what he yearned is you. For you to return, for you to look at him with so much grief, concern, and care.
All he wanted is your hug, your reassurance that it wasn't his fault, and it wasn't his burden to carry.
But you didn't return. Not even a peep, not even a soul.
700 long years of waiting, of bottling up his emotions that it almost spilt over.
Sure, he's happier now, but is he truly happy?
Deep inside, he kind of resented you for being so blissfully unaware of what happened to him. Of what happened to the quintet. You never even contacted him in those 700 years. Did you just forget your relationship just like that? Did you move on from him? He thought both of you were together forever?
Then slowly, he got jealous. Of you, at first. Just travelling across the galaxies without a worry in the world. How selfish of you to just run off to the farflungs of the universe just to never contact him again. Shame on you. He's a worried lover! How can he not? Then, he got jealous of the people that you must have met. How much were they charming you that you forgot about him, your soulmate?
He started visiting your family in year 300 too. Consoling them and telling that you were gonna go back home. When? Soon. Like really soon.
He found solace in your family that started treating him as their own son. Taking care of him when he visits, entertaining him with a game of chess, maybe even talk about their life.
He also heard more stories about you. About your spoiled attitude outside of school, of your rebellious years, of your wants and needs to see the outside. It's as if he's living vicariously through your parents, and relieving your memories in order to not forget you.
Then, he starts yearning for your presence once more after just trying to forget you.
It's a never ending addictive cycle that he's lost in the deep trenches in.
You were the only constant in this godforsaken world, the wine he yearns to drown himself in in order to forget his problems. But his problem is the wine, his problem is you. But the alcoholic he is, he continue to guzzle down the addictive taste until reality blurs with fantasy. In which a picture perfect world existed were nothing went wrong, and you were still there back in his arms.
Over the years, he somehow got over it. Turned to tea, thought about stuff. But your family reminded him so much of you and told so much stories of you that he became so attached to the idea of you.
He started a little hobby of writing letters to your non-existent being. Thinking you'll read them in the future. He refuses to believe that you're dead and rotting in a ditch somewhere. He knows that you're alive. He knows it.
He wrote down what he wishes to tell you, on what he wanted to do with you once you come back like a little drink, maybe even roam around and show you what Xianzhou looks like after 700 years.
Then, it devolved into his frustrations, anger, jealousy, and grief about what happened in those measly years. On why he wanted to have you so bad with him, to have the only remaining friend with him by his side. He wants to cling to you, to finally have a full on restful sleep, but also yell at you for leaving him behind.
He thought of the people that made you forget him. Of the people that took you away from him. Yes, they may, no, they ARE the reason why you weren't returning home. They must be.
He knows he's wrong. And he's working on it. A few letters down the road had him apologizing, telling he's in the wrong, and started writing about what to do once you come back.
Until those letters carried a weight that he's thinking of.
What will happen if you decided to stay in Xianzhou this time?
What will happen if something or someone made you stay?
What if, Jing Yuan forced you stay?
An absurd idea, but those letters quickly became a drawn out plan on what he'll do to make you stay by him, by his side. Eternally until the end of both of your lifespans.
And those letters were now safely kept in his hand. They will not see the light of the day.
The time he knew that the Astral Express came to their wharf, with Yanqing telling him, he immediately ran to Fu Xuan to know who are the passengers of the train that stepped out to help.
And there you are. You chose the path of Nihility. Fitting for a person like you who wished for everything, yet nothing. A spoiled kid who only wanted meaningless vices and thrills to fill the void inside. You grew up so much just as him.
What is this feeling inside? Relief? Resentment? Guilt? Love?
Woah, love? Really? Does he really still feel love for you? Or is that just a byproduct of the putrid mix of emotions inside of him?
He always knew his feelings for you never disappeared. It was supposed to be just a harmless puppy love that is forgotten over time. Like come on, it's been seven centuries.
But seeing you there, with your mother still nagging you, and your eyes locked onto him with an excited, naive look on your face made those forgotten emotions resurface.
And unfortunately, became an unfortunate ingredient in the rancid pot of emotions he bottled up over the years.
The General, known for being laid back and relaxed, can feel that image slowly crack and crumble every step you take towards him with a smile on your face.
It's so painful. How can you have that sweet smile on your face while he had to endure so much guilt and pain that he doesn't deserve to undergo?
What's worse is that your smile was lifting so much off of his shoulders to the point that he wants to drag those problems back to his shoulders and stubbornly hold onto them just to prove you a point.
He can't believe you had so much power over him. It's driving him insane how your mere presence shook the centuries worth of healing that he did for himself.
The conflicting thoughts started to whirl in his head.
He wants you to stay, but he wants you to disappear now that you're actually here.
In those mere seconds, he composed himself and gave you a soft smile. A smile that usually had a lazy quality in them now looks rigid.
"Y/N, my love. How are you? It's been seven centuries!" Calm and composed. That's what he wishes his voice sounds like.
You, sweet, oblivious you, hugged him with such a smile on your face. After all, Jing Yuan was your lover. And you hoped that he didn't hate you that much from not communicating.
"Yuan! I'm so glad I met you here again! Wow... You're a general now! How cool is that?!"
Your excited voice grated his ears to the point that he wants to cover it vehemently, but he also wants to get a hold of it and hear it over and over again. Reassuring himself that you're actually here in the flesh with him and not just a figment of his fractured reality.
With a smile, you grabbed his hand and got out of your parents' manor, wanting to apologize to Yuan by catching up.
Are you really that insensitive? Such naive thinking that by only talking things out, the problem will be resolved. Well, in your defense, you didn't know what happened with JIng Yuan and the quintet. All you knew is that they grew apart from the looks of it.
You didn't undergo the same traumatic experience that Jing Yuan did, the agonizing isolation, the years of waiting for that somebody to come home, and your mental health devolving into something more sinister, something that crosses with your logic multiple times.
But here you are, flashing your carefree smile at the dying Jing Yuan who squeezed out a chuckle.
He wishes that you burn in hell. He wishes that HE burns in hell. He wishes to burn with you, spending the last agonizing minutes with you finally in his arms again.
He grasps your hand, wrestling out an apology in his mind to you.
But he can't let you go until you knew of the agony you left him with.
And that's going to take a lifetime with you by his side, shackled and ruined.
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It has been a whirlwind of emotions.
You saw Dan Heng, turn into your old friend Dan Feng. Well, his visage anyways. Were you that blind to not see the similarities? Or were you blocking the image out of your mind in order to protect your own peace?
And Yingxing, no, Blade. When did he turn into this immortal, suicidal maniac who wishes for nothing but death for himself and revenge?
And it's Dan Feng's fault? Dan Feng would never!
Your image of Dan Heng/Feng started to mix, making you dizzy and confused.
Baiheng. She died? Did she really? So did Dan Feng's ritual work or not? Did she reincarnate? Is she somewhere out there?
What happened in those years?!
And Jing Liu... Jing Yuan's master. Mara stricken and committed a massacre. That Jing Liu?
Jing Yuan even defeated her himself... Oh gods, did he just carry that burden all by himself? All those years... Centuries of pain and suffering that he didn't deserve.
The carnage, the aftermath, the result of grieving.
It's almost too much to bear for you.
And you were just out in the world, travelling and being all wishy washy, enjoying yourself with your newfound friends?
For gods sake, you were Jing Yuan's lover! Did you just forget about him just like that? Then those promises. Were those fake and surface level?!
How about your old friends? Did you even consider them? In those seven centuries, did you not even think of them?
Of course you did! But you swore that you thought that they're going to do fine!
Guilt riddled your weary body. Exhaustion catching up to you as you wept in your room.
So much to process, so much to grieve. It was almost too much if it weren't for Jing Yuan there to comfort you. Telling you that it was okay, that it wasn't your fault.
But what if's kept popping up your mind. What if you returned earlier? What if you were there for Jing Yuan? What if you didn't actually leave?
And Jing Yuan was so nice throughout the whole thing. You only talked to Dan Heng for a little while, but you need more time.
You felt so selfish for being like this. Why are you so affected when you weren't even there?
That's it. You weren't there. You weren't there for your friends, for Jing Yuan who only has you.
Seven centuries of loneliness... How did he even endure it?
You wanted to share the burden so bad, to be with him and atone for those time lost. You want to be there for him.
You are a terrible lover. A terrible friend, and a terrible person. Those phrases continued to mingle in your mind and wore you down to your barebones.
Now, even a sneeze from Jing Yuan warrants you to panic.
And Jing Yuan had a sick sense of satisfaction from seeing you wallow in sorrow.
Again, he knows it's wrong. He knows that he shouldn't be delighted in seeing you suffer.
But that side of him loves the attention he thinks he deserves. The care that he's deprived of, the love that he's blatantly robbed of.
So, he eggs that anxiety in yours on more by talking about the past and the pain he went through, his eyes narrowing in an indescribable stare as your person gets hammered down more and more.
It was eating him alive. But he assures himself that this is just temporary. Once he felt satisfied, he will start fixing you up again good as new.
And, as your parents urged you to finally marry Jing Yuan, and you nodding in desperation to make it up to him more from the centuries of neglect as his lover, Jing Yuan apologizes in his mind once more, and holds you close.
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Hello love, you certainly gave everyone a scare. They're all just thrilled to see you safe and sound. As for this latest little game of yours, thank the stars it's over. Did you have fun? Did you get everything out of your system? Good, good. Everyone is so relieved. Welcome home, Y/n. -Jing Yuan
(Original, unedited quote from White Diamond in Steven Universe)
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foreingersgod · 11 hours
Note
need need need something about Caitlin being obsessed with her girlfriend and talking about her non stop in interviews, insta ect
Obsessed . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: caitlin always finds a way to talk about you
A/N: NOT PROOF READ
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
1. interviews
it was the end of an amazing game, not just for iowa, but especially for caitlin. she hadn’t played a game that well in her entire career, scoring more than her average and making shots from deeper than ever before. she had everyone on their feet the entire night cheering for her as she completely annihilated the other team.
you were there to watch her, as you were every other game. watching caitlin play had to be one of your favorite, most rewarding things to watch as a girlfriend. she’s worked for hard for long and she was finally getting the recognition she deserves.
after the post-game excitement had worn off, the team prepared for the following interviews. typically, you didn’t stick around for them, opting to head home and wait for caitlin so you could congratulate her in your own special way. but with such an amazing game for caitlin, you decided to stick around and watch.
it was like she was a natural, surrounded by all the microphones and flashing cameras. she looked proud and confident, ready for any and all questions. they asked her the usual questions and she answered assertively. but one particular question caught your attention.
“the effort you’ve put into basketball has been apparent throughout your career, but your fans want to know more. who do you credit for keeping you so motivated and successful off the court?”
she bit back a smile, lip tugged between her teeth as she listened to the interviewer. caitlin looked out into the sea of people, eyes finding yours somewhere in the back before answering.
“yea, no there’s a lot of people i could think of that have been absolutely incredible,” she said “you know obviously my parents and bothers, my teammates and friends. they’ve all been really supportive of me. but i do also want to credit my girlfriend, YN. i mean she’s been there for me day after day, she’s really the reason i’m able to keep going and i definitely wouldn’t be where i’m at now if it weren’t for her. so yea, i have a truly amazing support group behind me, it’s wild.”
you couldn’t help but blush hearing her mention your name up there. she was so sweet and so modest when it came to things like this and she always made sure you knew how much she really needed you.
after the interview, she came up to you, sweaty and exhausted. a big goofy grin still glued to her face as she gravitated into you.
“i love you so much” she said to you “i meant what i said in there, i really don’t know what i’d do without you”
you pulled her into you tighter, so close you could feel her pulse as your lips met the back of her ear.
“i love you more”
2. social media
caitlin posted you on a regular basis at this point (and you posted her just as much). she was so whipped, always posting photos of you to her instagram to show you off.
caitlinclark22
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♡ liked by its.yn, katemartin03, and 799,403 others
caitlinclark22 obsessed with you @its.yn
view all 25,234 comments
its.yn baby :’)
⤷ caitlinclark22 it’s true <3
gabbie.marshall my moms actually
ur.sister the cutest couple everrrr
user7838 brb crying right now
caitandynfan PARENTS
katemartin03 this is making me tear up i’ll be honest
⤷ its.yn stawppp
caitlinclark22
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♡ liked by its.yn, caitlinfan180, and 876,221 more
caitlinclark22 i’m in love with you in every universe, happy anniversary @its.yn
view all 36,479 comments
its.yn i’m actually so in love with you it’s insane
bueckersgirl52 this is the cutest thing i’ve ever seen
jadagyamfi soulmates fr
ynsbiggestfan i love them guys omg
3. around your friends
she honestly didn’t even know she did it because if she did, it would be way worse. the amount of times you got brought up in conversation was starting to get a bit ridiculous. yours and caitlin’s friends love the both of you, thought you were perfect for each other, but if they had to hear ‘YN said’ or ‘you know what happened with YN the other day?’ one. more. time. they were gonna lose it.
caitlin just loved talking about you. she spent every waking moment with you anyways so it was especially hard to not bring up in some sort of way. she really couldn’t care if her friends got sick of it or not.
“hey caitlin” kate asked as the team sat around the living room of your apartment. caitlin had invited the girls over to chill for the night, catch up without the weight of basketball hanging over their shoulders “i had meant to ask how that new restaurant downtown was?”
“oh man it was awesome” she responded “if you get the chance, definitely go. the food was incredible, you know me and YN actually wen-”
“caitlin i love you, but i swear to god please spare us from whatever mushy gushy relationship stuff you’re about to tell us” hannah chimed in from the seat next to caitlin. the girls laughed, glad she spoke up before caitlin began rambling about you again.
“whatever, you guys are just jealous” she rolled her eyes, playfully shoving hannah’s shoulder.
she didn’t mind how the team grew tired of her rambling, she probably would be too if she were them. but you were the soul thing that occupied her mind and she wouldn’t give that up for anything.
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ladyempty · 23 hours
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Yan! Maegor Targaryen x Wife!Reader
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° | !English is not my first language!|
° | This is a yandere work and may contain triggering behavior. I'm not in favor of that in real life. |
You were certainly a cursed woman for arousing the almost immediate interest of the cruel king after his bloodthirsty ascension to the throne.
Maegor already had three wives at that time, two wives he liked and one he despised with increasing hatred.
But you were different, it was an overwhelming feeling that caught you off guard in the first contacts.
There was something fascinating to the king in his every little gesture and movement. Her so easily adorable personality and impeccable looks.
So this was love? This flame that burns without being seen? That feeling he despised when bards sang softly on banquettes and celebrations, and now it had taken over his body.
Already convinced of the strength of his feelings, the king did not delay in a proper court, he thought he had already made his obvious interest clear. The king's way of showing interest was something... Peculiar... Certainly constantly chasing you, ordering guards to follow you and always so fixedly analyzing your slightest movement, it wasn't the most gallant way.
In any case, the engagement was not long in consideration, with Maegor coldly threatening you father:
"I will have your hand beheaded or I will have your daughter's hand in marriage" His tone was as cold as the blade of his sword held firmly at his hip.
The wedding was only in Valerian traditions, the king's warm crimson blood mingling with his own and the taste of copper on his lips.
Maegor would never stoop to marrying in the faith of the seven. An action that only caused more chaos and anger from the religious.
The wedding night was certainly not a fairy tale. The king was focused on creating an heir and finally freely exploring his body. His touches were rough, strong and not at all gentle.
You better not consider moontea...
As a husband, Maegor is not the kindest. His displays of affection are not delicate and he does not demonstrate his love through words at all.
But compared to his treatment of other people, he is much softer on you.
He will still punish you if you disobey his numerous and strict rules.
Jealous and possessive are an understatement to describe feelings and behavior. You are His in every aspect of the word. Your body and soul belong to him and him alone. And not even his other wives have the right to take their You attention away from him. Your world should revolve around him the same way his world revolves around you.
Maegor is simply crazy about you, he loves you in a way he's never loved anyone else, even if it was in a distorted way, he doesn't want anyone to get close to you, touch you or even breathe and look in your direction. Anyone who approaches you will regret it bitterly when the blade of your sword pierces the person's neck without mercy.
He admired strength... But you couldn't get hurt, he liked your bravery, but there is no way he will allow you to get hurt. Never.
Maegor will not change your reason if you don't trust him. He will even think you are smart. For a while. After your patience runs out, he will simply demand your complete trust in him.
"I am your lord husband, who is more deserving of your trust than me?"
And things only got worse after Alys's deformed stillbirth...
Tyanna's whispers in her ear about infidelity and the child being nothing more than a bastard only served to increase her paranoia. The mere thought of you cheating on him was enough to make him simply lose his mind.
He imprisoned you in your private chambers, no one was allowed to enter unless authorized by the king. Guards guarded the door to his quarters.
Then, in an act of desperation, Maegor took three wives at once. But all three had deformed stillbirths just like Alys… Tyanna had lied and the king simply didn't know what else to do. He was desperate for the first time in his life.
But like a ray of light... Were you pregnant? For the first time in almost decades... Maegor smiled widely.
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mccoyquialisms · 3 days
Text
More bits from the 1st night of the London D20 live show that brought me joy:
The little “ooooohhhhHHHH” bit everyone in the atrium did as they were rolling the bingo cages for their characters
How NUTS everyone went when Lou got Fabian and everyone started chanting “hoot growl”
A second, just as loud cheer when Siobhan got Adaine and her and Lou ran around the stage together
Siobhan, unprompted: “GIVE ADAINE A GUN!”
Emily has apparently named a stray cat after Plug <3
Sydney straight up eating the ground (it’s ice cream, she’s fine. Sort of.)
“It’s a smell so counter to everything human life needs, in a way that almost kills you, but also, only in a way someone from New York can understand, makes you proud.”
The party refusing to call the candy wyverns anything other than “bugs”
Zac interrupting the ongoing banter to announce Skip is already boarded and sucking on the saddle of the wyvern
“I throw a flash grenade.” “I turn into a giant pigeon.” “I cast unseen servant to untie him.” “I shoot a guard.” “Okay, so everyone decides to do something SUPER SUBTLE.”
I mentioned it before but it’s SO good: “the DC is 500. Only a Nat 20 will do it.” Beardsley: [rolls a Nat 20 first try] [pandemonium in the arena]
“Have you seen Succession?”
The gabagool 🤌
“Adaine, we have saved the world multiple times. These are the scariest people we have ever met.”
Lou losing it at Sydney’s grenade having 1 point of poison damage in addition to all the bludgeoning damage
Skip gives Fabian a laser gun. He does not know what it is until he shoots Calroy with it
“Adaine, this gun thing you’re on? I get it.”
Cocaine Bear
“I YEETED YOU!”
Pete and Skip instant besties. Pete and Fabian instant enemies.
“You named him Anus and now I just have to do it the rest of the show!”
“I absolutely hate to add insult to injury…” “THEN DON’T!”
Adaine passing her wisdom save by 1 point to prevent Kugrash’s polymorph spell from turning her into a rat
The absolute ROAR that went up when Skip transformed into Lapin
“Anus?” “Not today.” “Not today WHAT?”
“I thought I was just on another planet starting a revolution I don’t intend to stick around for.” “America!”
Ally confidentially declaring Lapin and Aguefort have swinger vibes
“Do you want to just take him?” “Do you mean in the biblical sense?” “Another exciting use….”
[croaky voice] butterfly in the skyyyy
Pete opening 6 different flavors of seltzer while the rest of the party does kublacaine
Elaine Lee in the house!!!
Kugrash the greatest chaperone who ever lived
Lapin and Aguefort…and they were roommates…..Lapin’s “how do I look?” before they go into the egg fortress lmao
Syd’s perfume missile dealing 68 points of damage to Fabian and instantly knocking him unconscious. “Are you rolling D20s for damage???”
“I’m going to use my tides of chaos to reroll….worse.”
Tina the butterfly familiar that everyone totally remembers
“Well shit, any house where we kill the people in it becomes our house.”
Pete dissing Fabian so hard he feels the toxic masculinity coming back
Lapin requesting an exam extension for Adaine and Fabian from Arthur via dating app
The collective psychic damage everyone took from the “yar har har” scene
“Pete just starts dancing with a scarf in a way no one else has seen before.” “That’s my fucking thing!!!”
Sydney just enabling every pvp encounter alsdkghsdg. Giving Fabian unlimited capacity to his gun as he’s shooting Pete, with Fabian hitting twice and criting once.
“I can pleasure you or throw grenades, you gotta pick one.” “The first one, obviously!” “Okay!”
Lapin, Adaine and Kugrash chain smoking in the corner suffering through the pain of existence while the rest of party goes nuts around them
Murph incorporating the words “come/coming” as much as possible into Kugrash’s farewell speech while Brennan mimes Gilear’s enormous dick behind him. Not even Fabian’s battle sheet is enough to conceal that hog
“That’s right, I’m the king. And then I jump into the dumpster.”
GILEAR…MY…..OLD FRIEND………Aguefort and Gilear fwb real
“Not another person with their penis frozen to the walk in!”
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zorosprincess · 1 day
Text
I Fucking Hate You
PAIRING - Tsukishima Kei x Reader WC - 4.5K GENRE - smut CW - mentions of drinking, short(er) reader, manhandling, some degradation... i mean c'mon... it's tsukki, fingering, mentions of spit, unprotected sex, creampie
MASTERLIST | NEXT PART
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If you would have known that letting your best friend Aiko convince you to come to the university volleyball team's 'end of trimester' party would end with you here, like this... you would not have come. You would have said to hell with her begging and her crocodile tears, the pout on her lips that was replaced with a huge smile the second you gave in and said yes.
"You're worse than that Oikawa boy." You had said the words just to watch her face twist up in disgust as she gagged, "never compare me to him again." "You know he likes you, right?" you'd joked, hoping to get her irritated enough with you that she'd rescind the invite. It hadn't worked, her hand waving in dismissal, "you're not making me uninvite you."
So yeah. If you'd known that this is where it would have gotten you, you would have said no. If you'd have known that your best friend's ex boyfriend would have been at the party (a fact you were sure Aiko purposely forgot to mention it to you for this reason) you would not have come.
And if you would have known that you and the aforementioned male would be forced to actually interact thanks to your bitch of a best friend, you would have pushed her down the stairs the second you got here and ran for the hills. Because here you were. Alone. With one of the people that you hated the most. The one person you argued with the most.
Honestly, knowing who was throwing the party, you could really only blame yourself. He was on the team. You should've expected him to be here. Really you just didn't think he'd be the type to come to a party. The type to let himself be convinced to come. It was stupid, really. You realized so the second you pulled up to Tadashi's house with Aiko.
The same way you would always show up for Aiko, Tsukishima Kei would always show up for Tadashi.
You had determined that the best way to avoid Tsukishima was to drink with Aiko. To glue yourself to her side because you knew he didn't want to come around both a girl he hated and his ex-girlfriend. As long as you didn't let yourself get pulled away by a teammate then you should have been fine.
Should have been.
What you did not account for, however, was being shoved down the hallway after him by said traitor best friend as he was sent to go find extra towels because a couple of the boys wanted to jump into the pool.
It had taken you all of five minutes to give up on finding the towels and to sit yourself on the bed, eyes trailing after the stupid bean pole as he kept digging through cabinets of the room you'd been pointed to.
"Would you care to repeat that?" he sneered out the words and it occurred to you that maybe you hadn't called him that insult only in your head.
"Nope." you popped the p on the word and rolled your eyes. You were suddenly aware of how stupid the drinks with Aiko had been. It wasn't that you were drunk, but you were compromised enough to have no filter between your mouth and your brain. No impulse control. "No one wants to talk to you anyways," you giggled as you let the name Hinata taught you slip from your lips, "Suckyshima."
You were trying so hard not to laugh at the glare he gave you then. He let out an annoyed huff of air as his tongue poked at his lower lip in irritation. He was towering over you at that point - When did he move in front of you? Why did he have to be so tall that it hurt for your neck to crook back and look at him? - he was looking down at you with his signature condescending smirk.
"Listen, shrimp," his smirk widened as you glared up at him, "I'm sorry the simple task of looking for towels is too hard for that dumb little brain of yours to understand," he emphasized his words with a flick to your forehead and you nearly growled as you swatted his hand away, "but don't take it out on me." He laughed and stepped away from you.
You clenched our teeth as you stood up then, not that it helped much, he still towered over you as you straightened to your full height. You tried your hardest to keep your tone unbothered as you struck out, trying to hit a nerve, "ya know, lamppost-" you couldn't help your smile, almost seeing the tilt of his head and eye roll at the sound of the nickname you'd never once let up on since the first time you'd met- "if you weren't such an ass maybe someone would actually enjoy talking to you."
He scoffed, continuing to look around the room for the third time. "Like you? I'd rather be deaf and mute for the rest of my life."
You made an amused sound in the back of your throat. "At least I'd never have to listen to your stupid voice again." It was a childish jab, you knew it and he knew it, but you couldn't help yourself. The need to piss him off, to annoy him, it was just too overwhelming. You had to do it. "I mean doing the world a favor really. Maybe knock that smug look off your face, sitting there, thinking you're better than everyone."
"Like you're any better?" He turned to look at you, eyebrows raised and lips twitching, mocking as he re-closed the distance he'd just put between the two of you. Why did he have to be so stupidly tall? "Walking around, acting like a bitch, like the world owes you everything." He glared down at you and you looked right back up at him in defiance. "Think you'd know better since you haven't been able to attract a boy since high school - yeah Maki's told me all about it. Walking around like you're the shit just because you're a pent up bitch."
You could feel your face heat up in anger. Embarrassment coursing into your system as you silently cursed Aiko for sharing that information with the enemy. It wasn't like you had actively looked for someone and had been turned down, so it wasn't like it was something to be ashamed of. But knowing that Tsukishima knew about it suddenly made all rational thought leave your brain.
"You don't know shit." You shoved at his chest and he took a half step back at the force. He let out a soft scoff, almost like he was impressed you even had the gall to lay your hands on him. "Like you've landed a girl since you were with Aiko in high school?" You shoved again and watched as his tongue poked at the bottom of his cheek, a telltale sign that he was holding back his words, his insults. "You're nothing but an ignorant," shove, "arrogant," shove, "asshole," one last shove. "I hate you." You rolled your eyes and pushed past him. "Not worth my time."
"I'm real fucking sick of your mouth." Tsukishima's voice cut through the air and you barely registered the feeling of a hand on your arm before your back slammed against the wall. It took you a moment to register his frame caging you in but he was already speaking. "Watch your attitude." The words were formed more into a growl as he pushed them through his teeth, one of his hands keeping you pinned to the wall by your upper arm.
You let out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak at the motion and almost felt the need to submit overcome you before you snapped yourself out of it. Your mind was begging your body to ignore the proximity between the two of you. Begging your body to ignore how hot annoying it was that he was towering over a foot taller than you, caging you against the wall.
You felt the heat travel past your face and start on your neck. Your head spun trying to figure out if it was still just anger or if there was a blush starting on the skin too. You hated the thought. You pushed at his chest again and tried to yank your arm away. "Fuck off!" You seethed at him and a final tug of your arm almost set you free only for him to catch you again and pull you back.
"I wasn't fucking done talking." You struggled against him but he didn't let up, your body twisting in his grip. You groaned as you were once again pinned between him and the wall. But this time, your hands rested against the flat surface, just barely keeping your chest from being fully pressed against it.
"I don't fucking care what you have to say." You struggled to move and only grew more irritated when you couldn't quite get away before you were pinned back to the wall, again. "I'm fucking leaving, you asshole." You took a chance and tried to press your whole body weight back against him to throw him off and create a larger gap between him and the wall but it backfired quickly.
His quick reaction made you realize your mistake. He'd read your movements and his whole body quickly pinned yours to the wall, making it near impossible for more to move. You were reminded again of how bad you had messed up by drinking alcohol. The stupid alcohol that removed the filter between your mouth and your brain, between your body and your brain, as a desperate moan involuntarily clawed its way out of your throat. You froze and your eyes widened as you realized what you had just done, body tensing up immediately.
"Oh?" You could almost see the smirk etching its way onto his lips. A light chuckle vibrated out of his chest against your back as he refused to move. "I get it now." He leaned down, lips leveling with your face, breath tickling the top of your burning ear as he taunted. "You're just a desperate little slut."
"I fucking hate you." You growled at him, jerking your body away from the wall, trying to get away from the embarrassing situation you'd put yourself in. "I'm fucking leaving." You barely got two inches away from him when his muscles tightened and slammed you right back against the wall.
This time, however, he pulled you up on your toes and purposefully ground his hips into your ass. "You're a bitch." You let out a pathetic whimper against your will, the heat crawling its way across your skin as you could feel him harden against you.
The feeling of your core heating up was one you would have welcomed in any situation but this. Any situation where it wasn't Tsukishima Kei pressed against you from behind, you would have already given in. But it was him and you hated him. Your voice was weaker this time, "Get the fuck off me." You pushed again, struggling to escape his grasp.
His weight lifted off your figure and you thought you were home free. You wiggled against him, trying to escape the predicament you had gotten yourself into. Of course if you were thinking a little clearer, if the scent of his cologne wasn't fogging up your senses and the heat of his body wasn't suffocating you, you would have realized that you were only making it worse. He stifled a groan as you brushed against his hips a little too hard and suddenly it felt like you were more trapped.
He slotted his thigh between yours, using it to separate your legs and keep them in place as he leaned down, pressing his cheek to yours. Even the slightest movement from either of you created a delicious friction that had your breath hitching and your panties dampening. "Someone should put you in your fucking place." The way he growled sent shivers down your spine, the heat of his breath bouncing off the wall and fanning both of your faces.
You reached behind you to try and push his thigh down and away, the heat in your body becoming unbearable. "I fucking ha-"
You were cut off by one of his hands snatching both your wrists and pinning them to your lower back. He forced you to arch against the wall, the motion causing your dress to hike up and you to lose your balance on your toes. He pressed his thigh up, angling it just right so that when you slipped off your toes, you unintentionally ground yourself against his thigh. You let out a strangled moan and internally cursed your body for giving in so easily like this. "Don't know where you think you're fucking going now."
You took a deep breath and bit your lip, trying to stop another moan from escaping as he began to move his thigh, the friction sending electricity through your core. There was no way you would let yourself fall apart in front of fucking Tsukishima. No fucking way. You ignored the pleasure flooding your body as you struggled to get your wrists released and get away from him.
"I'm fucking leaving." Why did he have to be so fucking strong. "I swear to god Tsukishima-" a quiet whine interrupted your threat as a particular struggle of yours lined up perfectly with the movement of his thigh and the fabric of your underwear caught against your clit just right. "Let me go." It was supposed to come out as a hard demand but with the way your breathing couldn't steady, it came out more as a pathetic plea.
The cold of his fingers met the heat of your upper thigh and you gasped out as you felt them quickly trail up to pull your underwear aside. "Why don't you tell me to stop then." His condescending tone sent shocks straight through the center of your body in all the ways you hated but his movements slowed as he gathered the slick that had pooled in your underwear, like he was waiting for you to actually say it.
You couldn't. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. Couldn't stop the disgustingly needy whimper that clawed its way out of our throat. "I fucking hate you." You protested but your body worked against you, pushing into his hand a little more.
A breathy chuckle left his lips, "Yeah, and that's why you're so fucking wet, right?" he mocked and sunk two fingers into you without warning. Your mouth dropped open and your body lifted onto your toes as your hands clenched at the sudden feeling. "That's why your stupid little cunt is squeezing my fingers like this?"
"Fu-fuck." Your breath stuttered and you didn't notice when his hand released your wrists, your hands finding purchase on the wall, holding yourself up as he slowly curled his long fingers towards the perfect spot inside of you. A whimper left your lips as he pressed hard into you with his fingers.
"Go on then," he started with an amused huff, "thought you were going to leave." Reality crashed on you again and you snapped your jaw shut. You squeezed your eyes and begged yourself to pull yourself away from him now that you had the chance. But the way that his fingers kept rubbing so perfectly against your g-spot kept your mouth from forming the words, kept your body from leaving the dizzying sensation.
"You're dripping down my hand, you know." He taunted, twisting his wrist slightly and hitting a new angle. He pressed deeper and a cry left your body as you felt his thumb brush your clit. "Here I am, knuckles deep in you," your eyes began to roll back as the pressure in your gut started to build-god why were his fingers so long? why did they move so well? "bet you wanna cum on my fingers now, like a little slut." He laughed again as you let out a broken moan, nails starting to claw at the wall. "Go on and tell me you hate me now."
You bit back another moan and clenched your teeth. You reminded yourself that there was no fucking way you were letting fucking Tsukishima break you like this. "I fucking hate you." You gritted out and pushed off the wall, going to separate yourself from him.
He was quick to catch you by your waist with his free arm, pinning you against himself, this time with no help from the wall. He removed his fingers from your warmth and brought his newly freed hand to your hips. He pushed your dress up further and before you could register what was happening he had turned the both of you and was throwing you down onto the bed.
You were pinned facedown on the bed before you could think. "You need a fucking attitude adjustment." He growled in your ear as he hovered over you, his hands still on your hips, trapping them in place under him.
"Fuck off." Once again, it didn't come out as harsh as you meant it to, your out of breath tone ruining the purpose.
He only laughed at you and both of his hands left your hips, seeking out and finding your wrists quickly. He pinned them against your lower back, once again, holding them in one hand with a bruising grip. He used his other to pull your hips up, listing the rest of your body onto the bed easily and pushing you forward, forcing your knees under your hips and your back into a deep arch. Easily, like you were a fucking ragdoll. The thought pissed you off but sent a new wave of heat rushing for your core.
You hated it. You hated him.
You could barely hear the rustling of fabric, and you definitely didn't recognize its meaning, over the blood rushing in your ears, the position you were in making you feel vulnerable to the one person you would swear up and down the coast that you hated the most.
You realized almost too late that his hand had left your hips and instead it was his knees and thighs holding you in your position. "You don't need these, right?" It was a mocking question that he didn't let you answer, that you didn't even register before the sound of fabric being ripped and your now ruined panties were removed from your frame.
"You ass-" the sound caught in your throat and turned into a squeak as you felt the head of his cock brush against your clit. You couldn't see it, couldn't even shift your hips back to try and gauge how big it was. But the feeling of it spreading your lower lips slightly made you want it inside of you.
"Why don't you keep quiet and let this slutty little pussy have what it wants." It wasn't a question. His fingers dipped back into you barely, just barely past the pads of his fingers and you let a needy whimper slip out at the teasing. He chuckled again, pressing the head of his cock right against your clit, sending a jolt through your body again. You couldn't move and you hated it. Wouldn't even if you could and you hated that too. "C'mon shrimp," he taunted, leaning down and lowering his voice, "tell me how much you want me to stop."
"Shut. Up." You panted it out, your cheek pressed against the mattress. It wasn't a stop. You knew that. He knew that. You could almost picture that stupid smirk on his face as he leaned back up. Picture him shaking his head in amusement, running his hand through that stupidly pretty blonde hair of his.
"Have it your way." The feeling of something cold and wet dripping down onto your hole with perfect accuracy brought a loud gasp out of you. But before you could register how lewd it was that he'd not spit on your pussy but let it drip onto it, he pushed the self-made lube in with the tip of his cock. "Fuck." He breathed out as you let out a pathetic squeak. He was thick. So deliciously thick. "Fuck you're tight."
He released your wrists and your hands instantly flew to fist the comforter by your head as he pushed the full head of his cock in. "Think you can take it?" His voice was breathy but the condescending, challenging tone in his voice was still there. You were nodding before you understood what you were doing. He laughed a you and you heard spit leaving his mouth again before you were distracted by both his hands on your hips. "Good." He bottomed out in a single thrust and your vision went white.
A choked moan escaped from you as you were suddenly engulfed by the feeling of being split open. He was seated deeper than you had ever taken anything and the pain that jolted through your core had never felt so delicious. And nothing had ever sounded as good as the moan that left his lips as his fingers on your hips tightened, no doubt leaving small bruises in their wake. You opened your mouth to say something but all that left was another cry as he moved his hips, starting at a brutally fast and hard pace.
You couldn't call the sounds that left your mouth moans, couldn't even call them whimpers. They were shrill cries of half-formed curses and pleas, desperate whines as he pounded into you. Your hips were bruising as you tried to hold on to the comforter to ground you to reality. The pain and pleasure of the pace and force that he was rutting into you was making your mind go hazy.
He wrapped one of his hands into your hair and yanked, keeping your back arched but pulling your chest off the bed. Your arms scrambled to find their way under you, begging to hold up your body but failing as his hips refused to slow their pace. The new angle that his hips slammed into you at had your mouth left open, eyes finding a home at the back of your skull while pathetic, shrill moans left your body unfiltered. "Please, please, please." You begged without shame, heat burning all of your nerve ends.
"Please what?" he growled out, "what do you want slut?" You whimpered at the derogatory term. "Oh? Feel that?' he taunted, slowing down slightly to let both of you enjoy the way his cock stretched and rubbed against your inner walls, "the way your cunt just tightened when I called you a slut?" You cried out and tried to nod but couldn't due to the hold he had on your hair. "So tell me what you want, slut."
"Ple-" a cry left your mouth, "please wanna-" another broken moan escaped, "wan' cum." You slurred the words out as he tightened his grip on your hip and your hair.
"You wanna cum on my cock?" You tried to nod desperately, a flurry of slurred "yes"s leaving your mouth. He laughed and halted all his movements. A frustrated groan ripped its way out of your throat as the heat dissipated ever-so-lightly. "Look at your cute little cunt drooling all over my cock." He laughed as you whined, trying to push your hips towards him to get him to move again. His grip steeled, making it impossible for you to move. "Ask me then." You widened your eyes at his words. "And don't you dare fucking cum without permission." He growled in finality.
"Wha-what?" He gave a harsh tug on your hair and your eyes fluttered. Fuck it. "Please." You whimpered lightly. He moved his hips lightly, drawing out and pushing back in ever so slightly. Not enough. "Please can I-" he cut you off by resuming his previously brutal pace as the heat returned in full force to your belly, tightening pressure building quickly.
You remembered his threat and struggled to get your tongue to form the question. "Can I-" a scream ripped through your body at a particularly hard thrust, "can I please." The last word was drawn out with a long whine, trying to catch your breath. "Please," you tried to catch your breath as moans fell effortlessly from your mouth, "wan' cum, wan' cum, cum ple-ah!" your mindlessly babbled pleas interrupted by your cry.
"Can I- can I- please." He mocked you, shifting his pitch up before laughing. "God so stupid you can't even ask a question?" His voice was strained but collected as he pounded into you impossibly harder, cries falling from your mouth, eyes rolling back again, tongue flipping past your bottom lip. "Fucking cum then. Cum on my cock like a good little slut." Like a command.
"Fuck!" You cried as you felt every one of your muscles tighten around him, his movements refusing to let up on your body as you started to shake. He released your hair and your upper body crashed down to the sheets as he resumed a two-handed grip on your hips, recklessly starting to lose his rhythm as he pulled your body to meet his every thrust, fucking you through your orgasm. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kei!" His given name fell from your lips in a shriek and almost immediately you received a response.
"Fu-ck." The word left his lips in a broken moan. A higher pitched leaving right after you felt his length twitch inside of you, spilling his load deep into your core. He paused for barely a second before pushing you flat onto the bed, disconnecting your bodies easily.
So that was that. You thought, preparing to catch your breath and lay there in your shame. That plan, however, was interrupted as Tsukishima gripped your legs by your knees, easily flipping you onto your back and drawing you towards the end of the bed. You leaned up on your elbows, looking and watching, speechless as he rid himself of the pants that had been half on this whole time. Your breath hitched as he tore his shirt off next.
As much as you hated to admit it, he was a fucking sight to see.
Sculpted abs flexing with every movement. Sweat dripping down his perfect, lean muscles. Blonde hair damp and mussed without care. And his still hard cock. Fuck. It was fucking gorgeous and glistening with a mix of both his and your cum.
You swallowed hard and met his eyes as he smirked down at you. That stupid fucking condescending smirk that made your skin burn with hatred, and now lust.
"Did you think I was fucking done?" He was inexplicably intimidating from this angle-towering over you. He laughed at your wide-eyed expression and reached to tear off your dress. "What's wrong, slut? No smart remarks this time?"
You groaned and lost your balance on your arms as he quickly pushed two fingers back into you, watching with sick satisfaction as his cum gushed around them.
You moaned despite yourself. "I fucking hate you."
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a/n - i need to be shot down please. tsukishima brain rot is back
TAGLIST - OPEN @tetsuskei
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teriri-sayes · 13 hours
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Reactions to Chaos Creator's Chapter 286
Brief summary: Cale gets scolded by the CH and the kids to rest. Aipotu beastmen are in awe at Lock and that their god descended. GoB has gone mad because of GoC. Jungwon is hiding in the Demon Cult. Cale and Clopeh disguise as priests.
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The entire chapter had lots of funny moments. Especially the part when CH "scolded" Cale, and Cale who was shocked that the "gentle" CH scolded him. 🤣🤣🤣
"Cale-nim." Choi Han approached and held out a handkerchief. He looked closely and saw that it was the handkerchief Ron was carrying. For some reason, Cale had an eerie feeling. Choi Han wiped Cale's mouth with the handkerchief, then put it in Cale's hand and said, "Wouldn't it be right to say something that makes sense after stopping the bleeding first?" "…!" Cale's eyes shook even more. 'Just now-' That gentle Choi Han… 'Did he scold me?' No. I mean, Choi Han, are you saying that I said something that did not make sense? Are you telling me to wipe the blood off first before saying what I want to say?
White Snake Wisha seemed to have fallen down the Caleism hole. 😂 When Cale offered to clean up his blood that had dripped on her massive body, she even tremblingly said that she did not have the courage to wipe off Cale's blood... 🤣🤣🤣 Poor Cale was confused and wondered if she was scared of blood. 🤣🤣🤣
Meanwhile, Lock was being treated like the saint of Blue Wolf, with Wisha unconsciously speaking very politely to him. It did not help that there were numerous lines describing Lock's beautiful appearance from the perspective of the beastmen, or that the flames of the Blue Wolf was still on his shoulders. And it definitely made it worse when Lock spoke to the beastmen, saying that he heard a voice from the divine item. Saint Lock soon? 😂
Archie giving two thumbs up in support of Lock though... 🥰🥰🥰
GoD's hilarious messages continued. GoB had indeed gone mad. 🤣🤣🤣
The God of Death's divine item alternated between beeps and vibrations. "Noisy." Cale sighed heavily and turned on the mirror's screen. <Cale, Cale, do you know what it means to have the God Realm split in half?> <Wow, this is crazy. It's a breach, a breach! The scope of this mess is something that not even the ancient gods can easily surpass!> <It's chaos. Chaos!> <Kwahahahaha, the God of Balance has taken off her shoes and is now running around barefoot! Kwahahaha!> "Ignore the God of Death for now." The affairs of gods. Not my concern right now.
Cale also read Jungwon's messages, and praised Jungwon for doing a better job than GoD. 🤣🤣🤣 Jungwon escaped from the Dragon Lord who wanted to ask him questions, and hid in the Demon Cult because Heavenly Demon knew him. Because of the Dragon Lord's rampage, Jungwon came to stop the murim people from attacking the Dragon Lord.
But when Cale questioned about the god qualifications and god test he read from Jungwon's messages earlier, Jungwon replied that it was a secret, but he would tell Cale because he was on Cale's side. Wait, Cale. Why do you want to know those? Perhaps, a corner of your mind has become self-aware that you're on your way to godhood? 😂
Pope Kesilia messaged Cale that 3rd Star Exion summoned her, so Cale and Clopeh disguised themselves as her priest attendants. With Priest Cale back, Clopeh happily mentioned of his first meeting with Cale, though Cale did not seem too happy about that. 😂
Ending Remarks Wait, so Cale did not rest much today? Or did we get a time skip that I didn't notice? Anyway, next chapter would be the start of Exion villain arc. I wonder though, did Cale dye his hair white again or did it remain red?
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rubyuji · 3 days
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The Reason for My Smile (Kim Mingyu) 🪡
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“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” ✮⋆˙
Genre: Angst, Fluff
AU: University!au, Nonidol!au
Pairing: Ex!Chan x Fem!Reader, Brother’s Best Friend!Mingyu x Fem!Reader (Literally Seungcheol’s younger sister)
Warnings: A bit of cursing, a break up over text but that’s about it.
Synopsis: Diving into a long-term relationship is scary for anyone for that matter, except the breakup from yours had left you traumatized because it happened over text. From then on you vowed to never wear your heart on your sleeve ever again, but your brother’s own best friend promised to change your perspective.
Note: My first ever Seventeen fic on this account, so it’s still a work in progress, but it’s definitely something! (Esp since I haven’t written in awhile). It used to be an Enhypen fic originally, but it took a lot of editing and proofreading, along with a lot of changes. Happy reading! Don’t forget to like + reblog! It would mean the world.
Word Count: 7.7k words (I’ve never written so much)
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Your relationship with Chan wasn’t precisely the dreamy or ideal relationship you had hoped for but as someone who had almost no experience, put that and being a people pleaser together, and you have whatever is left of your so-called relationship.
It’s not like Chan was a bad person or anything, the boy was quite the softie, so he’s probably just as overwhelmed as you were when it came to dating.
The latter part of the relationship consisted of you trying to understand him as best as you could, that was until inconsistencies started popping up a lot more.
Chan felt distant, he was more busy, despite the two of you being in the same major. That was the whole basis of your relationship after all. At the beginning of your relationship, it was sweet and full of the first times. Chan used to hold your hand, his other one holding your bag, as you would walk to the diner across campus and stay there for hours just talking about your day.
The soft gazes he’d give you whenever your eyes met, the flowers he’d give you on a random day, and the late-night calls wherein one of you ended up asleep. It was like a broken record that rewind itself during the late hours when you would start to question his love for you.
Those moments seem like old memories to you now as you see another apologetic text from your boyfriend. Another text where he promised to make it up to you and that he’d do better next time, it was starting to become a routine where you got stood up by him.
You wondered what on earth would keep your boyfriend so busy, especially when you both had ended up together because you took the same classes. You weren’t a slacker and always got your work done on time, so things weren’t adding up, especially when you both always tried to help one another.
The week after your midterms, you decided to visit your family and stay at home for a little bit.
Your family lived thirty minutes away from campus and you honestly couldn’t bother to make a drive that long every day, so you opted to stay in the dorms to save time, but on occasion, you would suck it up for a few days whenever your living space felt too tight.
Today was one of those days, but it felt a lot worse than you’d like to admit.
“Hey, I’m gonna go stay at my family’s for the weekend, and on Monday, just try not to make a mess here or anything.” You say to your roommate, Bora, who nods without looking at you.
Your roommate had an annoying habit of not looking at people whenever she was focused on her work, but you grew quite used to it and just shrugged it off after a few months.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I only ever have Chaeyoung or Hyewon over so no mess and no broken belongings. Have fun and say hi to Seungcheol for me if you see him, will you? Drive safe Y/n,” Bora finally turns to you from her bed and you laugh.
Seungcheol was a good brother and had a heart of gold, but you couldn’t handle your friends gushing over him in front of your face, it just felt weird when you grew up right beside him, the image of a younger Cheol picking his nose suddenly registering itself into your brain as you cringed.
You couldn’t care less about who he’d date though, it was none of your business, even as his little sister. As long as he didn’t end up hurt or hurting anyone, your brother was free to be with who he liked.
“Sure, I’ll leave a word when I see him. Tell me if anything comes up, and now I’ll get going! Bye, Bora!” You picked up your backpack and made the short walk to your car, ready to go home and lay on your childhood bed, which was admittedly more comfortable than the one you had in the dorm.
You text Chan about going to your family’s place, and the boy follows up with a thumbs-up emoji and an ‘I love you, stay safe’ text.
Your boyfriend didn’t have much to say anyway, and you were starting to grow bored with the way things were going. He probably felt the same way and you couldn’t blame him when you couldn’t keep your mouth shut either, since you seemed to be the only one exerting effort at this point.
He might even find you annoying now but didn’t have the heart to tell you because he was just that nice.
“Breaking up is honestly super tempting right now and I honestly can’t stand it anymore! It’s driving me mad, Cheol!” You whine as you stop at the intersection that leads into your neighborhood.
You didn’t mean to rub it in or anything, but you did live in a wealthier part of town, which explained the long drive home, and you were so glad to see the familiar area after a stressful trip.
It just so happened that halfway through the drive, your poor brother had to endure fifteen minutes of your rambling like some counselor even though he simply just wanted to check up on you.
“Y/n, just break up with him then, simple. It’s been months since you started telling me about how bad it’s getting, and honestly, I’m horrified to hear about what else is to come once you get here. I love you so much, really I do, but this boy is full of empty promises and lies,” Seungcheol sighs deeply.
The light turns green and you finally drive into your street, completely forgetting you were on the phone.
“Fuck don’t ignore me like that, I know how much you both liked your sweet puppy love phase, but get a grip Y/n. Chan is draining you, and he’s probably just as tired as you are. It’s time to stop hanging onto that year you both had,” You pull into your driveway and click your tongue.
Your brother was right, but it also killed you knowing you’d hate the thought of not having Chan around anymore. It was all easier said than done, especially when you felt incomplete without him.
“I see your ass in the driveway, Mom and Dad went out to get food so you have a fuck ton of explaining to do.” You see Seungcheol in the window and laugh before honking at him, scaring the living daylights out of him in the process.
“I’ll be in, like five. Let me get my bag ok? And tell Kkuma I’m here, I missed her.” You turn the engine off and grab your bag from the back, a wave of comfort and warmth washing over your form as you look at the house.
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“Anyways, I’ve been contemplating on wanting to break up with him because I think he’s tired of me and maybe I did become quite annoying. Unless I’m invalidating my feelings and gaslighting myself into thinking I’m the problem,” You go on.
At this point, it was past dinner time and you and Seungcheol were in your room, dressed for bed and still talking about your problems. Poor Kkuma looked ready to curl up beside you and sleep but was forced to stay awake because of how miserable you were over some boy.
Seungcheol grimaced and set down a makeshift bed for the poor dog to lie on before turning to look at you with a concerned expression. “I think the latter, but you can be the judge of that. Now-” Cheol was cut off by your phone chiming and you turned to look at who on earth was texting you at one in the morning.
Your face turns pale as you look at the screen, and this automatically worries your brother, but his expression immediately hardens as he knows who it could be from.
“It’s from him isn’t it?” You nod slowly, the tears starting to fall from your eyes, dripping down your cheeks and onto the comforter you were on. Every word hit you like a ton of bricks, you felt helpless.
From: Chanie ^^
I think we need to break up. This relationship is holding me back and it’s starting to feel like a chore, I’m sorry I couldn’t do enough for you Y/n. I started to grow bored and you irritated me to no end, I don’t even think we would work even if we tried. This is my last goodbye to you, I’m sorry again that it had to end this way but I’m still young and feel like I’m not ready for something as serious as this.
You showed Seungcheol the message, only then realizing that your number was also blocked, preventing you from saying anything more. You were appalled, to say the least, your mouth hanging wide open as choked sobs started to come out slowly.
A year, a year went to waste with the person you thought would understand you best, the person you thought would hold your heart close to his, only for him to break it. The person who did the most and still managed to disappoint you.
Seungcheol held you close and you cried into his chest, Kkuma was suddenly on the bed licking your face and the world fell still at that exact moment. The moment you vowed to never trust anyone with your heart ever again.
You were a mess the rest of the semester following the text, crying on the couch the entire weekend as Seungcheol tried to console you, along with your oldest brother, but nothing worked.
You did go to class as normal, but you completely shut everyone out and limited socializing to only your family and friends until after finals.
Your break was coming up, and you were honestly relieved, to say the least. Bora was on the other side of the room getting ready to go home to see her family as well, packing up everything on her side in the process, but then you heard her huff as a pillow hit your head, interrupting the silence that was shared.
“What the fuck Kim?” You whined, taking the pillow and hugging it. Bora plants herself on the spot next to you, you look at her with a frown as she laughs.
“I’m gonna miss you roomie, but I’ll visit you often either way since you’re technically my best friend now. Now stop frowning, Chan was an idiot for breaking up with you. How you managed to get through the rest of the semester, I will never know, but you should go put yourself out there again! There’s bound to be another guy ready to treat you better, so stop moping ok? I know it’ll be hard, but I promise it’s not that bad. Have a bit of fun with it,” You pout at Bora’s words.
She was right, but the breakup over a text fiasco left you traumatized. Chan wasn’t the best boyfriend, and you both had your moments, but you weren’t ready to trust someone again just yet.
What if it ends the same way, or even worse? What if you were too boring? Questions swirl through your mind but Bora snaps you out of it.
“Hey, take it easy. Let’s hang out over break, just us girls showing Chan what he’s missing out on! Can you believe he left you? You’re a gem Y/n, a lot more people want you than you think. Now hurry up and pack the rest of your things!” You take in Bora’s words and nod.
It would be hard, but taking baby steps and meeting new people wouldn’t hurt. No rushing into serious connections just yet.
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When you got home that day, you were happy enough to lay on your bed once again, all worries and concerns gone for the next few months. Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door and see Seungcheol walking in. You raise your eyebrow at him and your brother chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I was wondering if maybe we can hang out? Like all of your friends and mine,” Seungcheol looks down and plays with his fingers nervously. You were confused by his proposal but urged him to continue.
“Look, I like Bora and Minghao has this huge crush on Hyewon. Can you at least help us? Please? Look, I’ll take you shopping and even buy you food if I have to,” Your brother sounded like he was pleading almost so you really couldn’t help but feel bad.
“Cheol it’s ok, I’ll take you up on the shopping, now give me a date so I can tell the girls.” You smiled softly. Seungcheol punches the air and you laugh at his antics, you knew Bora also had the biggest crush on him so setting them up would be a breeze. Hyewon was a mystery you had yet to uncover though.
“I barely know your friends though, like I’ve met Jeonghan but who the hell is Minghao and how does he know about Hyewon?” Seungcheol lies down beside you on the bed and opens his phone, showing you a picture of him and three other guys.
Seungcheol then starts pointing out the two new faces to you. The lean and prince-looking one was Minghao and the tall, puppy-looking guy was named Mingyu. You couldn’t help but pay more attention to Mingyu, he was really attractive and you wanted to get to know him.
“Anyways, they’re the two new people in my frat. They’re super cool and like-” “Are you gonna bring Mingyu?” You cut him off mid-sentence, still in awe at Mingyu. Seungcheol’s brows knit and he rolls his eyes at you whilst you stick your tongue out at him.
“What happened to not dating? Come on Y/n, be serious,” You slap your brother’s face jokingly, the male screaming dramatically from beside you.
You didn’t want to get your heart broken again, but putting yourself out there wouldn’t hurt, as long as it didn’t get too serious, you were going to be ok.
“Shut up, it’s not like it’s gonna be a super serious thing just yet. Mingyu looks like a total hottie, I just wanna get to know him, have a little fun and get a bit of attention again,” You were ass at lying, so Seungcheol could only laugh at you.
“I trust you with him, Mingyu’s a very easygoing guy if that’s important to you. He’s also super single because he’s waiting for the right person,” he smirks at you.
Easygoing? And he’s waiting for the right person? On top of all that he’s cute and your brother trusts him with you? It sounded too good to be true.
You were happy for a moment, but doubts started to cloud your judgment once again. He sounded like a good guy, but how long until he turns into Chan and gets bored of you? It was starting to scare you again.
“Cheol, I don’t know-” Your brother gives you a serious look and sits up.
“I hope you understand that he’s not Chan, Y/n. Not all relationships are going to be like your last unless you try to take that leap. I promise you, he’s not a bad guy. Like, if he hurts you, I’ll hurt him because you mean a lot to me” You nod at Seungcheol, finally thinking positively and securely.
Not everyone is going to be like Chan, you knew that, but your memories and feelings for the boy held you back.
“Now, how does nineteenth sound?” Your brother asks you. You text your friends, immediately getting the green light from the three of them, Bora sounding the most excited.
“Perfect, and your girlfriend is just as excited as you are,” Cheol’s face turns a deep red before he runs out of your room in embarrassment, yelling about something along the lines of planning the perfect outfit. You guessed it was probably to impress Bora anyway, so you didn’t question him.
The silence of your room welcomes you once again and you are back into your thoughts. Mingyu sounded like a guy who would take someone seriously, maybe it’s just what you needed because guys your age didn’t have that much to go off of.
He was Seungcheol approved, and you told yourself that a million times, only because he hadn’t approved of anyone else but Mingyu. Chan could get past your parents and oldest brother, but not Cheol, so it was an odd situation to be in.
“I’ll figure it out later, right now, I need to sleep.” You put your phone off to the side and close your eyes.
Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure everything out once the nineteenth rolls around, both Seungcheol and Bora did say similar things, so maybe those two had a point. ‘No wonder they like each other, they’re the same person,’ you thought as the sleep took over.
Two days had passed and the dreaded day had rolled around much quicker than you had anticipated. As you put on light makeup, your friends are in the background screaming at each other throughout the entirety of your Facetime call because you all decided that it was a good idea to get ready together.
“Bora, it’s Seungcheol! He’s like Y/n’s male version so you don’t need to freak out that much! Now Y/n, show us the fit. You’re the only one who didn’t show us yet!” Hyewon whined over the phone.
“I’m wearing a gray long-sleeved, asymmetrical knit top, black skirt, and combat boots. For hair, I’m leaving it down and wavy, I don’t care much,” You say softly.
The girls suddenly burst out laughing as you put on your outfit, they didn’t seem to believe you one bit when you said you didn’t care because they knew you genuinely did care and tried not to.
“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” Your friends hum in agreement until you hear the door behind you open.
“Y/n— Are you calling your friends right now? We’re leaving in a minute because Mingyu’s driving so hurry your ass up will you. Also hi Bora! Hi Hyewon and Chaeyoung,” Seungcheol grins stupidly.
You roll your eyes at your brother for obviously singling Bora out and tell your friends that you are going to see them in a bit.
“Bye, Y/n! Have fun looking at your new boy toy driving, already a huge upgrade from Chan!” Wonyoung laughs.
You end the Facetime call with a roll of your eyes before turning to look at Seungcheol with an eyebrow raised. Seungcheol puts his hands up defensively before you both hear a car honking outside.
“Mingyu’s here, grab your bag, and let’s go!” You huff as your brother rushes you, he was practically itching to see his crush, and embarrassingly enough, you too were excited to meet Mingyu and Minghao.
With your bag in hand, along with your phone, you finally follow Cheol outside and see a Range Rover of the latest model in black. Damn, Mingyu was in a different league that was for sure.
Seungcheol opens the door for you as you head in. You see Jeonghan riding shotgun and Wonwoo in the back smiling at you. “Y/n! So happy to see you again, I think this is your first time meeting Mingyu and Minghao,” Jeonghan says from the front.
You squeeze in the center comfortably and nod. Wonwoo was cute, he greeted you politely and was very friendly, but when your eyes met Mingyu’s, you suddenly became quite flustered. He held a sharp gaze, the watch on his wrist not helping you in the slightest.
“The shopping center downtown right?” Seungcheol nods at Mingyu’s words, his deep voice causing you to flush. You prayed to whoever was up there that you would at least survive the day because the tension in the car with him was enough to drive you nuts.
“So Y/n, how’s that thing with Chan?” You freeze up when Jeonghan suddenly brings up your ex, but you forget not everyone knew about the devastating breakup over text.
“We broke up over text...” You reply awkwardly. Jeonghan gasps as your brother runs his palm down his face, he knew better than anyone not to bring up Chan during the time you were still trying to move on.
“Hyung, give her a break. Sounds like it must’ve been rough, I’m sorry about that. He seems like a shitty guy, breaking up with you over text? Are you sure this isn’t a sitcom Y/n?” Mingyu speaks up as he looks at you from the rearview mirror. You feel your cheeks heat up slightly, nodding in embarrassment, but for some reason, you were shocked upon hearing Mingyu’s words.
Wow, he really picked Chan apart in a way you wouldn’t ever dare to. His bluntness snapped you right back to reality and you could hear Minghao chuckle from beside you. “What’s so funny?” You raise a brow at the boy.
“Mingyu hasn’t been this disheartened over anything in a while, it’s crazy that he’s already scrutinizing your ex based on how you broke up,” Minghao explains. Mingyu glares at him and huffs, looking so done and just ready to explain himself.
“Listen, in my personal opinion, I think breaking up with a long-term partner over text is stupid and a cowardly move. There were so many other ways he could have gone about it but over text? At least call or something instead, it’s super disrespectful towards your partner to leave them hanging without proper closure.” Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets upon hearing the reason behind his agitation.
So far, Mingyu was seriously proving you wrong the more he opened his mouth to say something, but you still weren’t ready because what if he’s even worse? The feeling still lingers and it’s almost like the ghost of your ex is not letting you go just yet.
“Mingyu’s right, I thought you both had something to be fair. Seeing how puppy love was just a phase makes me think I was quite wrong, you deserve better. Like Mingyu here for example! He’s very single and is looking for the right person, which could be you.” Jeonghan jokingly says.
You notice Mingyu’s ears turn red as he pulls into the shopping center. The car was suddenly filled with an awkward silence, everyone stunned at the oldest’s proposition. You and Mingyu had just met, what was he on about with you being his possible partner? It was crazy.
After Mingyu had parked his car, you all made your way toward your designated meeting spot. You could see Cheol and Minghao freeze up upon seeing Bora and Hyewon, causing a laugh to make its way out of your throat.
“Y/n! Over here!” The girls beckoned you over as you purposely ran in their direction to tease the guys.
It was a day to bring them together was it not? Yet you still took the opportunity to tease the boys as you wished. It was pretty funny to look at their reactions knowing they liked your friends.
“Hi guys, I brought Cheol and Jeonghan. The newbies are Minghao and, Mingyu” You say with a pause. Your friends squeal wildly at the mention of Mingyu’s name, shoving you with their elbows as you all laugh.
“Minghao is so cute actually, is he single by any chance?” Hyewon smirks, eyeing the male up and down.
You giggle and nod, your friend had no idea that the said boy was here for her, which made your job of setting them up much easier. Your work was basically cut out for you the moment they laid their eyes on each other.
“Oh don’t worry, you’ll know in a bit. For now, let’s all focus on having fun today shall we?” You sling your hand over Bora’s shoulder, not noticing Mingyu’s intense stare at your form. Seungcheol and Jeonghan notice the action, causing the two of them to nudge the boy playfully.
“Bro, go shoot your shot. There’s so much tension between the two of you, I hope you know that” Cheol laughs.
Mingyu shakes his head at his words profusely, there was no way he was going to overstep a boundary, even if it was Seungcheol himself encouraging it.
You notice the boys talking amongst themselves but decide to shrug it off, they were probably planning their moves on your friends, but how do you tell them that they didn’t even need to try that much? They all seemed to like each other after all.
Between Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s continuous pestering, Mingyu had felt your gaze on them, causing his cheeks to grow hot. You were really pretty, and that goes without saying, but you had just gotten out of something long-term.
The time needed to heal you first, or at least that’s what he thought, since his mom had always taught him to be patient with the ones he loved or cared about.
“Give her time guys, I don’t think I can just rush in like that. Y/n came out of a slightly traumatizing event, so if you jump right in, it will only push the person away further. I should be friends with her at most while we’re still getting to know each other,” Mingyu makes eye contact with you and notices how you quickly avoid his eyes.
The day had gone by quite smoothly since then, each of you dispersing into little pairs after a while because your friends couldn’t seem to help themselves, which is what led you to where you were now. In a store, with Mingyu, picking out clothes for him to try on.
You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not style your brother’s hot friend, even though Mingyu himself already had impeccable fashion taste?
You bite your lip as you focus on the outfit, visualizing what it would look like on Mingyu, and how you could coordinate everything.
Mingyu thought it was adorable with how much thought and focus you had decided to put in when you were only doing this for fun, he ultimately decided to buy the outfit once he was done trying it on.
“Here, sorry I took so long. I haven’t styled anyone since my ex and my older brother, so this is the best you’re gonna get for now,” You handed him the items in your arms and pushed him toward the fitting rooms, eager to see how well you did.
“It’s no problem because you did put the time and effort into styling me, I might go ahead and buy it if it does end up being my style,” Mingyu smiles at you softly.
He was sweet, you had to admit. It wasn’t like Chan had noticed you putting effort into styling him so a little affirmation made your heart swell.
“You don’t have to, I kind of play around with it. I bet you will look good since you seem like you’d look good in anything” You admit shyly.
Mingyu was fun to be around, even if it was your first time meeting, you already felt as if you had known the man for a while. All around Mingyu was just considerate and one of the best people you could’ve ever met.
“Yeah, sure you do, I know you put a lot more effort either way. Let me try this on now, otherwise, I’d be too distracted looking into your eyes. Give me a minute and I’ll show you how it looks,” You nod as Mingyu closes the curtain, only then taking in what he had said to you. He was not being serious but was so smooth with how he flirted with you just now.
A minute had gone by and you heard Mingyu call your name, so you made your way over, only to find your heart nearly falling out of your ass the moment you saw him. He looked so good, great even, and you couldn’t help but stare.
Mingyu adorned a white shirt underneath a black zip-up jacket, adding detail by zipping up the bottom of it, and light-wash jeans. It was a really simple outfit, but you had to admit, he did tie the whole look together.
“How does it look? I think you did well honestly, I’ll buy the entire outfit right now. Let me go change so we can go meet up with the others,” Mingyu smiles.
You were amazing at what you did, it impressed him how you were able to pull such an outfit together in just a few minutes.
“I think it looks great, I’m flattered you like it so much that you’d buy it right now. Maybe I can style you again if there is a next time?” You reply shyly. You couldn’t meet Mingyu’s eyes because he looked so good.
From that moment on, Mingyu made it his mission to heal your heart and prove to you that you deserved a second chance at being treated better.
He had come to your house quite often and taken you out a few times, so much to the point that everyone around you started noticing that you were almost always with each other.
“You know what, this is the happiest I’ve seen you. Your relationship with Chan started to strain and you had become more dull and miserable, but being around Mingyu gave you a new kind of glow for some reason,” Chaeyoung quips.
You tilt your head in confusion, you liked his company but you hadn’t noticed any other changes.
“He’s great, but I’m still hesitant. You know how I am, as I get he’s not Chan, but who knows how everything would play out in the long run?” You say sadly.
Mingyu was more than amazing, he respected your wishes not to have a relationship, but still treated you in ways people could only dream of, but in his words, he was ‘courting’ you, something people don’t do much these days.
He was attentive, took care of you well, and would always be there for you no matter what. He truly was the real definition of being ‘one call away’. This was all so new to you, even being courted was something totally out of the ordinary.
“Y/n, he’s courting you. Not enough people willingly do that these days, so you have the guy wrapped around your finger. He’s patiently waiting for an answer from you, like do you remember everything you’ve told us?” Hyewon huffs out from above you as she is doing your hair.
It was girl’s night and you had decided to bring up your worries and updates to your friends, but you had forgotten the fact that you had also told them the details about your escapades with Mingyu.
From where you would go to what you did, down to the time he took you home, and if Seungcheol truly did approve of him.
“Did Chan ever actually think about how you felt in a certain situation? You know besides you telling him it’s ok and all? Usually being together with someone for over a year would allow you to read them better, but Chan barely knew your little habits. Bora took them in after a month of knowing you, which is concerning. Now on to Mingyu, what did he say that one time?” Chaeyoung snaps her fingers and you instantly know what she is talking about.
You came home one day and had gone the whole day without eating. You were out with your parents and they hadn’t considered if you were hungry or not since they were busy and had already eaten, so when you got home, you quietly slipped next to Mingyu in the living room after seeing the guys watching a movie.
“Hey, you’re home. How was spending the day with your parents?” Mingyu whispers from beside you. You shrug and he gives you a look that encourages you to tell him more.
“I hadn’t eaten anything, but honestly it’s ok now since I’m not hungry at all…” You trail off.
Mingyu shakes his head and takes his phone out, but you go over to stop him. He shouldn’t spend anything on you, and you already told him you weren't hungry so you felt as if you were only bothering him.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” You see your favorite restaurant on the delivery app on his phone and blush. Did he remember your favorite restaurant and order? That was sweet of him.
“No it’s ok I can manage,” You pretended not to see him already inputting the order and paying for it, but you still couldn’t help it when your stomach growled loudly. Mingyu raises a brow at you as you chuckle awkwardly.
“I’m getting you food, I know you’re hungry” Mingyu laughs. You hit his shoulder but thanked him gratefully for even thinking of you, it was a small gesture but it still meant a lot.
“How about that time he got you flowers for no reason?” Bora says while laughing.
You roll your eyes, she was the first person you had freaked out to over the phone because Mingyu had gotten you a bouquet of roses on a random Thursday with Seungcheol.
“What’s this?” You ask as Mingyu sets down a bunch of fresh roses wrapped in brown paper on the counter in front of you. Cheol and Mingyu had just gotten back from grocery shopping for your mom and then Mingyu came back with flowers, of course, you would be confused.
“I got you flowers because we saw them on the way out, and I thought you'd like them” Mingyu started taking out the groceries from the bags as your brother walked in with the last batch from the car. You flick Cheol’s forehead, but the older male can only smirk and laugh at you.
“Why? There’s no occasion,” You try to excuse, but you couldn’t hide how flustered you were.
Mingyu had thought of you while they were out? He did mean it when he said he wanted to treat you better.
“Can I not get you flowers even if there’s no occasion? Y/n, you don’t need to ask or have a reason to receive flowers, I hope you know that. I’m surprised this hadn’t been done for you more often than not” Mingyu’s back was still turned toward you, which you were thankful for because you probably looked like a tomato at that moment.
That night poor Bora had to endure an earful from you, just because Mingyu was a great guy who treated you the way you deserved.
Thinking back at those moments, you could only see the good in Mingyu, so you wanted your friends’ approval. He was already brother and parent-approved so that only left your best friends.
“Well, do you guys think I should finally give him an answer? It’s been a few months, and even if I am scared, I can’t let this chance go.” Hyewon finishes up your hair and pats your head, signaling her answer. You look at the others, who only grin back at you and you laugh.
“Y/n, he’s been a green flag since the beginning. It’s a good opportunity knowing he’s the type that’s ready to settle down,” Bora also brings up.
Seungcheol had always emphasized that Mingyu was a date-to-marry and long-term relationship kind of guy, which makes sense as to why you were one of the first people he had ever been super serious with when it came to dating.
“You guys are always the best, I’m glad everyone around me approves. I mean, I won’t know until I try right?” Chaeyoung hugs you and you sigh in content.
You were finally moving on, you were finally healing. It felt fulfilling in a sense, and knowing you were finally starting a new chapter with a great person, you felt as though your life was finally turning out for the better.
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After a chaotic girls’ night, you had called up Mingyu to meet you at your favorite cafe that the two of you frequented. You were quite nervous, to say the least, but you were ready to take this huge step of moving on with the person who treated you right.
You hear the bell of the cafe chime, and you finally see the person you were expecting. Mingyu walked in, his hair down in its usual state, and in a casual but comfortable outfit.
He looked like he had just come from the gym. Your heart raced at how good he looked, he always did look his best whenever he came to see you, and you always appreciated the effort.
Mingyu spots you and walks over with a wide smile. He was always so damn charming, you couldn’t believe he was all yours. He pulls out the seat in front of you and plops on it, his attention fully on you. ‘Attentive as always, I don’t deserve you,’ you thought.
“You wanted to talk?” Mingyu finally breathes out upon seeing you. You nod and take his hands in yours, you were going to tell him how you finally felt because he deserved an answer. He had already done so much for you, the least you could do was show him that all his efforts were finally paying off.
“I think I’m ready to give you my answer. The past few months you had decided to court me and I’m thankful you were patient enough to wait for my answer. You’ve proved to me that relationships aren’t limited to how I and my ex went about ours and that if a guy wanted to do something, he would. So my answer is already set, I’ll be your girlfriend, Gyu.” You look up at him, only to see Mingyu grinning like an idiot.
He was elated, he finally got the answer he was waiting for and you saying yes only made it a hundred times better. Mingyu fully understood how much your last relationship had affected you, so he only made it a point to court you, knowing you weren’t ready for a commitment just yet.
He wanted you to be ready for him to love you and treat you the way you deserved, so he didn’t push it and waited for you to come around on your own, which you did.
“You have no idea how happy and relieved I am to hear you say that. Y/n, I’m so glad you gave me the chance to love you and care for you. I’m glad you gave me the chance to prove myself to you. I promise I will not hurt you in any way at all, and I promise to be as communicative as possible with my feelings so that you don’t end up in the dark. I want you to know everything because you deserve it,” Mingyu admits, not breaking his gaze on you.
“Mingyu, you’re everything I could’ve ever asked for. I don’t know what else to say. The past few months I’d been so scared to love again, to give a relationship another chance, but you’ve proved me wrong and even waited for me to be ready. You don’t understand how much that means to me,” You continue to fidget with his hands, but then he suddenly takes yours and places a kiss on your knuckle.
You blush at the action, you weren’t used to feeling or receiving this kind of affection since it had been quite some time, but with Mingyu, you weren’t afraid of anything, because you trusted him as much as he trusted you.
Needless to say, even months after you had given Mingyu an answer, he remained the same and still acted like he was courting you.
The only difference? He was finally your boyfriend and you were finally his girlfriend. You felt how serious he was about you when he had even introduced you to his parents, and they were just as lovely as their son was.
“Mom wants to go shopping with us on her birthday this weekend, I told her I would take her on a birthday date but she insisted you come along. She loves you that much already,” Mingyu chuckles as he walks into your room, fresh out of the shower. You laugh, his mom was the sweetest person, and you finally understand where your boyfriend gets it from.
“I’m down if she’d like, but you’re not getting me anything ok? You already spoil me enough and I don’t want you to spend too much–” You squeal as you feel Mingyu’s arms around you, the two of you falling flat on the bed.
Before you two could move from your position, you heard a knock at your door. It was Seungcheol, and you immediately pulled away from Mingyu once you saw him, still flustered and embarrassed from the previous action.
“Hey, if you two are going to be in the house, at least have some decency while I’m here!” Your brother whines.
You laugh and see him let Kkuma in the room. She had been with Cheol the whole day, so you and your siblings usually took turns spending time with the dog. You were the sibling in Kkuma’s night shift, meaning you had to take the dog in for the night since she liked sleeping in your room.
You thank Cheol for letting Kkuma in and bid your brother goodnight. Once the door closed, you looked over to see your boyfriend on the floor with Kkuma laying on her back.
“Hey, that’s my dog! Kkuma, you can’t just steal my boyfriend like that, and Gyu you can’t just do that to my child!” You joke. They looked perfect, and suddenly you start to imagine what your little family with Mingyu would look like.
Mingyu was the perfect partner to settle with, after all, he was caring and dependable, but also super honest and was not afraid to show or express how he felt. He just knew whenever you weren’t up to do something, or if something was bothering you.
“Is something wrong?” Mingyu noticed that you were more quiet than usual today because you almost always told him about your day. He noticed how your smile hadn’t reached your eyes and how you were fidgeting with your fingers more.
“It’s nothing” You tried to brush it off, but truthfully, you weren’t doing well. You just didn’t have the strength to let him know or the strength to explain how you felt, all you wanted to do was rest and go to sleep.
“Y/n, you can tell me anything ok? Be as open as you want to be, I’m always here for you and will not judge you no matter what. If you don’t have the energy to tell me, it’s ok. Just rest here” You feel his arms being wrapped around you as he strokes your hair. The action was small but it helped you ease up a lot.
“It’s hard Gyu, I don’t know how to deal with everything. I don’t have the energy to stress over anything right now,” You whisper. Mingyu rocks you back and forth, still playing with your hair as he places kisses on your forehead.
“Whatever it is you’re going through, I hope you know that I’m proud enough that you decide to wake up every day and do everything with a smile, even if the world has wronged you. you’re so brave and amazing Y/n, please do not ever doubt yourself” Mingyu replies softly.
“Gyu, you don’t understand how much your words have helped me” You kiss him softly. You felt so lucky to have him, he was beyond the best partner you had ever been blessed with.
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“Mingyu, could I ask you something?” You say suddenly. The two of you were at his parent’s place since Mingyu had decided to take you to his childhood home in Anyang as a gift for your four-month anniversary.
“Mhm?” He hummed, putting down a plate of food on the coffee table in the living room, and sitting next to you on the couch.
“Why haven’t we said I love you to each other at any point in our relationship just yet? The others have asked me about it, but I just can’t come up with an answer to get them to leave me alone,” you whine. Mingyu laughs and kisses your cheek gently.
“Tell them that saying I love you isn’t easy when it comes to us, you haven’t said it either so we’re simply making sure that I can say it when the time is right. It’s not that I don’t or anything, but those words aren’t exactly an easy thing to just pop out there. The time will come when we can both say it meaningfully. Right now, we are still early into our relationship and have a lot to learn. I hope you understand where I’m coming from” he tells you.
It wasn’t that hard to understand what he meant. Mingyu had always been more careful, even if he didn’t say I love you, he still affirmed you and expressed his love for you in his actions.
Loving someone still comes in many forms, so the words I love you could wait because they should come from a place where you both fully understand and can comprehend how meaningful the three words are.
“I honestly think the same way, in a sense, I’m glad you’re honest about how you feel because I’ve been in a place wherein I was pressured into doing the action just because it was normal for everyone else, but not all of us are the same. Thank you, Gyu, you’re always the best with words.” Mingyu holds you close and you both sigh in content.
He wanted to treat you better, and he did. He wanted to show you better, and he expressed it in the best way possible.
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© rubyuji 2024’ -. no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any manner without the permission from the publisher.
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aiura-stan · 1 day
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I love the idea that Teruhashi might be thinking this. (I know she isn’t Teruhashi, but still.) It’s so outright aggressive and mean, instead of her more low key “Saiki should be obsessed with me!” thoughts as in canon proper, lol.
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Also notable that the first mention of Saiki being markedly different from other people is here: “If a normal person heard them he would undoubtedly have a mental breakdown after three seconds.” Maybe it’s true, probably an exaggeration on Saiki’s part, but it definitely highlights that what he deals with, mentally, is on another level, and he is able to deal with it.
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LMAO. this one made me laugh… it’s like yikyak but worse!! like yikyak but including things people wouldn’t even say on there, read out loud… phewww.
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Saiki says his powers are “in the wrong” rather than peoples’ thoughts. However, the way he words the second part about how you can’t dress up what’s on the inside strikes me as odd. I was trying to think of the reasoning behind this sort of sentiment that Saiki expresses here, because it repeats later in the manga proper. And I think, it boils down to this incorrect assumption he has, that people’s thoughts are their true feelings. My guess on where comes from is probably either Kuniharu or Kuusuke, who both express a lot of resentment for him. In each of their cases, that really is how they feel, and they make no effort to change it, and there’s not a lot of positive emotion thrown in there either. At least as a child, Kuusuke spent a lot of time actively trying to hurt his brother. And Kuniharu probably did too, if we take all of the examples of him trying to get “revenge” on Kusuo into account.
So it never occurs to him at first that people might have intrusive thoughts, or have thoughts they don’t necessarily believe pass through their heads, or thoughts they ultimately challenge and thoughts that directly contradict their behavior.
Okay angsty rant over lol
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‘nother thing that strikes me as funny, not in a good way this time… really now. I have never met a girl who was that jealous of another girl’s boobs. If anything, I’ve met girls who got them too young and wished they hadn’t because of teasing.
Maybe it’s a cultural difference, maybe it’s the fact that a male author wrote this who doesn’t really know (or care) about accurately depicting teenage girls’ concerns in a comedy… anyways.
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I beg to differ Saiki… that IS an incredible tattoo and I want to see it… I want that tattoo.. haha. And who cares if some people are bald?? and trans people exist?? Saiki likes to complain about things that do not matter at all. I guess he probably feels like it’s a burden to keep other people’s secrets, or something. He is just a teenager after all.
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tbh I kind of wish that Asou had kept this if only for dramatic effect
come on… look at this…
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Sigh. I love examples of Saiki interfering with fate just to help someone.
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Okay, that’ll do it for part one of this post. Part two in a bit. 💕
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