#and I keep thinking that it was well on its way to an emotionally abusive situation

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks #but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD #i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin #i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr #first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with #all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying #and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so #good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all #like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad #he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP #and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just #being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how #well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler #and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end #and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts #cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish #but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like #the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries #and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer #and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive #and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori #and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent #and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse #he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA #im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad #and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN #have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes

[bredforloyalty]

i don't think we do luv i don't think we do

#i do agree (obviously!) that for a series you need to get people to care about your characters so they want to keep watching it #comedy barely holds up without a story.. if you don't take time to work on storytelling or you want inexhaustible archetypes for characters #that you can use to churn out jokes‚ whether that's pointless random skits like family guy does it or something based on the relationships #like relationships within a certain status quo (s1 rick garbage man abuses his family. except it wasn't that simple back then either) #the problem with the sitcom where nothing changes so someone can just write gag after gag without changing the foundations is that it #becomes tiring. people stop caring because you've made it impossible to care for the characters by not allowing any meaningful changes #so in that sense i do agree it is 'becoming an actual series'. but it was on its way from the beginning‚ just needed some refinement #a whole lot maybe #but with setting limits for your writing and keeping your characters consistent and engaging emotionally you limit the #wacky hijinks as well. like don't tell me we got a banger like the vat of acid episode from season 6 or even 5 lol it's no longer explosive #i think rick and morty has always been inconsistent and that bred both great episodes and khm bad ones #there's definitely gonna be less bad ones from now on but the potential of the r&m dynamic has also been.... i would say curbed #that's okay this needed to happen like this. and i think they're going in the right direction and i think the stars will align and they'll #write bangers again #a lot of great things could happen following this. like in these actual arcs that they're developing there's still potential for comedy and #drama and they'll find their way back imo. to the sweet spot between chaos (wacky random funny) and order (meaningful and consistent) #ok that's all. if one hates rick being a miserable pathetic piece of shit one should mayhaps fuck off #✌️💗 #kata.txt #rnm

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Minor tangent but I have seen a specific criticism of OFMD multiple times that's along the lines of "the problem was the first three episodes being too dark and gritty instead of being our fluffy kind gay show."

And I strongly disagree with that criticism.

Like, Season 1 already had its dark and gritty moments. It was never 100% fluffy. Everything Ed does at the end of 1x10 (throwing Lucius overboard, cutting off Izzy's toe, marooning the crew, and kidnapping Jim and Frenchie) is the most obvious example, but there are others: Stede's experiences as a child, Ed's abusive father, Jim's family's murder. All of them are shown to still be affected years later in a way that impacts how they interact with other people, which is why it's emotionally satisfying when they find love despite it.

Addressing the events of the S1 finale in the first couple of episodes of S2 was vital. It solidifies just how devastated Ed is and how that devastation has affected everyone else, both negatively and positively, for a given value of "positive" (the Kraken crew is clearly closer as a result of their shared trauma). The scenes showing how being part of Stede's crew changed them for the better (talking to and hugging Izzy, Jim telling Fang the wooden boy story with the voices, etc.) were absolutely necessary and arguably the strongest parts of the show, and I don't think we would have had that if the stakes weren't so high. "Ed is a bit mopey sometimes, but it's not that bad!" just doesn't have the same oomph.

Had they pulled a Last Jedi and started 2x01 by throwing away all that build up from 1x10 and making a joke about it, it would have been a poorer show. The times when darker things were treated as a joke (Lucius' experience after being thrown overboard), flat-out ignored (Stede's fairly obvious anxiety disorder), or blown past because of time constraints (Ed getting voted off the ship and then reinstated as part of the crew within a day) were when the show was weakest.

The problem, of course, is that once you've acknowledged that impact, you need to keep acknowledging it. It needs to continue having an impact. And you can't do that if you don't have the time to explore it because you need to skip ahead to the part where everything's fine now.

I'm not saying that they needed to fully shift gears and stop being a comedy entirely. I think S1 threaded the needle pretty well in terms of balancing the conflict with humor. Like, Ed has a breakdown in the bathtub over murdering his father and what a horrible person he is and his plan to kill Stede, and none of that is a joke; the joke is when Stede checks to make sure Ed isn't going to kill him. The sad stuff can be taken seriously and we can still have humor to break the tension! We can do it! We have the technology!

But you can't have a serious thing happen for the sake of growth and then hand wave it away later when it's inconvenient. And you definitely can't introduce ways to break that tension (surprise, Stede is alive because he used This One Weird Trick!) and then not use it when it's inconvenient (surprise, Izzy is alive because he– oh, wait, no, he's dying for realsies).

The issue wasn't the show having dark and gritty bits at all. The issue was the lack of time for those dark and gritty bits to do their fucking job: being a catalyst for personal and relationship growth in a way that actually matters to and affects the story.

#ofmd critical #writing #izzy hands #ofmd meta #personal #our flag means death

[oldshrewsburyian]

Whats your personal opinion on originals and fics that center Nazis? Even if they keep the horrible people that they are, do you think its... ethical? For the lack of the better word. Because it seems like a very hard topic to navigate, even if all characters are fictional therfore not responsible for actual atrocities.

My short answer is: yes (and there is nothing that could make me say otherwise.) But I can tell, Anon, that this is a question made thoughtfully and in good faith, one that exists in implicit conversation with Simone Weil's exhortation about not reacting to evil in a way that would increase it. So! I will provide a longer answer as well, and it's one I've spent some time meditating on.

Whatever you mean by "it" (Nazis, fascism, genocide), yes, it is a hard topic to navigate, intellectually and emotionally. In my view, this is an argument for approaching hard topics in fiction, not an argument against it. There are a number of factors influencing my position. For one thing, I'm against censorship. Living through the rise (again) of fascism in our own historical moment has strengthened my views on this. Moreover, the argument that maybe it would be better not to present "horrible" things/people or "hard topics" in fiction has been successfully used against queer fiction (and, not incidentally, public libraries) in the region where I live. As a queer woman, I find this both enraging and frightening.

Also, there's precedent for this. People asked themselves this question about Nazis in the time of Nazis. Charlie Chaplin made the controversial comedy The Great Dictator because he wanted to show the absurdity of Hitler's self-delusion, and represent the grandiose plans of Europe's dictators (plural) as, quite literally, ridiculous. Conrad Veidt, having fled the Nazis, drew a personal boundary: he said he would play as many Nazis as Hollywood wanted him (6'2", German accent, cheekbones that could cut glass) to play, as long as their ideology was always represented as absolutely, irredeemably hollow/evil. Obviously (Casablanca) this did not prevent him from playing Nazis as chillingly plausible, complex human beings.

There's also the complex question of what counts as "centering," to say nothing of the question of who counts as a Nazi. (Briefly on the latter: anyone who ever had an NSDAP card? anyone conscripted into the army? If the answer to the former question is "yes," this would include Hans Fallada's novel Jeder stirbt für sich allein, where a couple who voted for Hitler become anti-Nazi activists after their only son is killed on the front. If the answer to the latter is "yes," it would group together men with wildly differing, even diametrically opposed political and moral convictions.) Paul Verhoven's Zwartboek has central characters who are Nazis, and confronts the grotesque, abusive violence of the regime unflinchingly. Schindler's List forces its audiences to confront the reality of a damaged sensualist who will shoot other human beings and like it. More recently, Timur Vermes' novel Er ist wieder da imagined (presciently, alas) how the news cycle and celebrity culture of the 21st century would react to an outrageous dictator. I think that fiction, including films and, yes, including fanfic, can do the work of teaching what Hannah Arendt, in Eichmann in Jerusalem, called "the lesson of the fearsome, word-and-thought-defying banality of evil."

#asks and answers #books #reading #nazism cw #fascism #possibly this ask is about #the zone of interest #but i have not read this #hannah arendt

[cerridwen007]

Bitter Jealousy.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader.

Word count: 3.6k (18+) 

Summary: Your friendship with Javi gets rocky as he finds out about your secret boyfriend, hidden because your afraid of his disapproval of him. After getting into a fight at work about you lying to your boyfriend that Javier is your brother instead of your best friend. You decide to own up and tell him, making him have an extreme reaction which makes you upset and Javi set on revenge.

Notes/warnings: SMUT, established friendship, friends to lovers, swearing, possessive Javi, jealous Javi, soft Javi,  toxic/abusive relationship, cheating, alcohol consumption, dirty talk, fingering (female receiving), cum eating, unprotected p in v, bad spanish, sweet ending, no use of y/n.

A/N: Second smut written and posted onto tumblr so far so feedback would be much appreciated. I’m working on a few fics at the moment (Matt Murdock x f!reader) so hopefully you can expect them sometime next week. I’m hoping to be able to stick to a 1-2 a week fic posting if I can. Hope you enjoy it!

************

“So did you wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really.” you responded coldly. You appreciated Javier asking, especially because talking about feelings wasn't his thing but you were so frustrated that you couldn’t do more than frown.

The two of you were sitting on the curb late afternoon, in a dimly lit backstreet of Bogotá. Your head in your hands as you tried your best to suppress the tears welling in your eyes that would come out again sooner or later. You wanted to forget this night ever happened.

The two of you were colleagues that met about two years ago when you first joined the DEA as a secretary. After bad impressions and having small rivalry for a few months the two of you soon grew close ultimately realising how similar you were to each other. You had even grown so close that you became best friends. 

You lived next door to each other in the apartments assigned by the DEA and would often spend your nights together, watching your favourite shows, drinking your liquor supplies dry before going to a bar to get more, sitting in comfortable silence as you sat together on the couch to exhausted emotionally and physically from your days at work to talk. As much as neither of you would admit it, you both loved spending basically all of your free time together in whatever way. 

That is until your dating life finally got out of its dry spell. You had bumped into this cute guy in the streets of Bogotá on a busy Sunday morning, near the markets and instantly clicked. You tried to keep your new boyfriend a secret from Javi as long as you could, only spending time with him at his place rather than yours in fear of Javi catching the two of you.

At first you didn't really have a valid reason for why you hid your new partner from Javier, eventually thinking that he would instantly come across as overprotective as soon as he found out. Your suspicions were confirmed when your boyfriend pleaded for the two of you to hang out at your apartment tonight rather than his, and you bumped into Javier leaving his apartment on your way in. Javi immediately stopped in his tracks, mouth agape when he saw you two walking together closely to your door. 

“And who is this, cariño?” Javi said coldly.

You gulped. “Uh…this is José… my boyfriend.”

Javier stared at José  with a hard gaze looking at him up and down, fists tightening into balls.

“You must be Javier, right? She has told me alot about you.” José chuckles, bursting the tension and raising his hand towards Javi’s for a handshake.

“Told you a lot about me, huh?” Javier responded, disregarding the outward hand. His jaw tightening, eyes aflame with jealousy.

Even José began to notice the tension that Javier was directing at him and dropped his hand. To which you glared back at Javier, trying to get him to stop intimidating your new boyfriend.

“Be nice, Javi.” you growled. 

“No it's fine, I get it, he's just being overprotective of you I understand. I'm an older brother too, I feel the need to make sure my little sis is not dating no jerks.” he says smiling.

Javier’s eyes squint, glaring into yours, brows furrowed tightly together, veins popping out his neck. He goes to protest.

“I’m not her-.”

“Um we actually should be going now, I need to start getting dinner ready so we won't eat too late and… my brother has an early start for work tomorrow so he’ll want to go out and get home early so he can get enough rest for tomorrow.”

Javi goes to speak.

“See you at work tomorrow, Javi.” you call out, quickly ushering your boyfriend into your apartment. Shutting the door on a furious Javier standing outside your door.

“Oh I'll see you tomorrow muñeca!” he mumbles angrily to himself, turning away to go and drown his fury in booze and whores.

**************

You were anxious. Anxious since you shut the door in Javi’s face last night, anxious trying to fall asleep, anxious on your way to work this morning. You were so goddamn anxious of how Javi was going to react to you when you saw him this morning, afraid that he was planning or might have already done something irrational that you both were going to regret.

Your heart felt like it was going to fall out of your chest when you finally saw him walk in the door, afraid he was going to make a big scene in front of everyone in the building. 

So it was quite a surprise when he walked calmly past you, not looking your way as he headed to his office. You thought hopefully you were off the hook and that Javi had just decided to forget about it and not shove his nose in your business anymore, but oh were you wrong. Hours flew by without you noticing too much, too absorbed into your paperwork that you had to finish asap. So when Javier knocked on your desk to get your attention, you got quite a fright. 

“Javier, what's up?”

“I need to talk to you, in the archive room. Now!” Javi responded bitterly.

You gulped but decided you shouldn't piss him off anymore and followed him into the remote room. He shut the door harshly as soon as you entered. Turning towards you with a cold-hearted stare.

“What the fuck was that about last night?” Javi catechized.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Nothing? You tried to sneak your apparent boyfriend past me, lord knows how long you've been hiding him from me, lying to him and saying I was your goddamn brother?!”

“I just didn't want him to get jealous, okay! I know sometimes men can be fucken insecure about their girlfriends having guy friends so I lied. And I tried to sneak him past you because I knew you would be critically judgmental and scare him off with your intimidation tactics.”

“Hermosa, if you're worried that he's going to be jealous about you having guy friends, he's already a fucken prick that you shouldnt waste your precious time on.”

“Easy for you to say, you’ve never held a relationship long enough for there to be any jealousy about another guy!”

“Wow…thanks muñeca…thanks alot for that.” he huffs and walks out before you can say another word.

“Fuck.” you sigh. You wait a couple moments thinking about what to do now before you walk out the room and go to your desk. Luckily it's hometime so you pack up your stuff and head home. Finally you arrive home to find your boyfriend settled in on the couch.

“Hey babe, how was your day?” José asks you.

“Yeah kinda shitty…. Look, there is something I need to tell you.”

José goes dead silent, a serious look falling across his face.

“...Javier isn't my brother, he's actually just my friend, my best friend or was my best friend. We hang out often but don't worry there never was anything sexual or romantic between us, I'm not exactly the type he goes for, and I'm sorry I lied, I just didn't want you to get jealous and tell me to stop talking to him.” you explain.

Josés jaw tightens, his nostrils flaring. “Javier isn't your brother!” he says furiously. “You're a fucken lying bitch! Ain’t no way I’m having a girlfriend who fucks her “guy friends” behind my back.”

“No, I'm sorry and nothing like that would ever happen in a million years, please believe me.”

“I ain’t ever going to trust another damn word that comes out of your filthy mouth, puta mentirosa!” he slaps you hard across your face leaving a stinging red mark that will be visible for days. Before storming out your apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

You stand there shocked before falling to your knees and crying, head in your hands. Your door suddenly flings open revealing Javi. 

“I  just saw José storming off what- Mi amada, baby what’s wrong, what happened.” he kneels down beside you, hand on your back and you raise your head to look at him with your watery eyes. He immediately sees the burning red handprint across your face. His eyes instantly colder, filled with vengeful thoughts. He stands up, fists curling at his sides.

“That cabrón… I’m going to fucken kill him!” 

“No, please Javi don’t, it was my fault.” you say while standing up.

“I don’t care, he fucken hurt you so I’m going to hurt him back.”

“Javi please, let me talk to him, okay I can sort this out myself.”

He huffs. “Do you even know where he’s gone?”

“No , but I'll find him.”

“Okay but I'm driving you, alright?” 

You decide not to protest and nod. You both walk out of your apartment and go to walk down to Javi's car before you hear the sound of Javier opening his door. You look at him curiously. He looks at you smirking.

“Just going to pack a bag of essentials.”

**************

After driving around the streets of Bogota for a few hours you finally spot Jose’s car parked below a small apartment complex. 

“Well that's his car, so he’ll be somewhere in there.” you say.

Javi goes to open his car door.

“Please Javi let me do it okay, I just want to speak to him nice and calm and sort things out between the two of us.

“Fine but I'm coming in there as soon as I hear yelling or if I feel you need to back up.”

“Sure Javi.” you sigh leaving his car and enter the building. You walk up to the second floor deciding to start there and make your way down. You go to knock at the first door but a noise coming from a few doors down makes you stop. It's moaning, it sounds like a man and a woman.

You gulp trying to not let that dreadful thought enter your mind. But when you hear a woman calling out José’s name and a very familiar voice moaning back, you just turn around and leave. You walk down the stairs and out to the curb to see Javi standing against his car looking concerned. 

“Mi, amor, that was fast. Are you okay, what happened?” Javier asks.

“I uh… heard a woman moaning out José’s name in one of the apartments, and then I heard his voice moaning too, so… I just left.”

He takes a deep breath. “So you're sure it was him then?”

“Yeah.. I'm sure… and even if it wasn't him, he's done with me. Called me a lying bitch for saying you were my brother, wouldn't even hear me out or try to understand…..You were right Javi…. I should’ve fucken listened to you.. I..I.. I'm sorry.” 

Tears fill your eyes and threaten to spill. Javi grabs you and pulls you into a tight embrace. 

“Hey, hey it's not your fault cariño. It's not not your fault at all." He pulls you tighter and he leaves soft kisses in your hair, the two of you clutching each other desperately, slightly swaying in the warm night. The tears begin to fall down your cheeks and broken soft cries fall from your mouth.

“Hey it's alright baby, I've got you, I'm here, I'm always here.” You sigh into Javi's chest, your salty tears leaving a damp patch on his shirt, but he doesn't care. He has half a mind to go upstairs himself and give your shitty ex-boyfriend  a good beating but he doesn't, knowing that right now you need him. After a while as much as you don't want to, you pull away, needing to sit down. Your sadness now turning to anger and frustration.

“Fuck, I need a drink.” you say sitting down on the curb.

Javier smirks and goes to get something out of his car. He brings out the bag of “essentials” he packed earlier and sits down beside you. He pulls out a nice bottle of whiskey and two glasses and hands one to you.

“So that’s what was in the bag. I was worried it was some ropes and shit that you were going to torture him with.” you laugh half sarcastically.

“Nah, I figured at least one of us would need a drink depending on the outcome of tonight.”

Your eyebrows crease together trying to figure out what he ment but you brush it aside. He opens the bottle and pours the two of you a drink. He sets the bottle down as you take a swig of your drink before pulling out a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one. 

He leans back a little looking at the night sky as he takes a long drag out of his cigarette before sipping his drink. You can’t help but stare at his tan neck and Adam's apple bobbing as he drinks. He takes another drag from his cigarette, his veiny hands make your middle grow warm thinking about what they could do to you.

Whether it's your emotional vulnerability or your suppressed romantic feelings for Javi you don’t know. You just squeeze your thighs together and try to block out all the dirty thoughts flooding your brain now.

“So did you wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really.” you responded coldly. You appreciated Javier asking, especially because talking about feeling wasn't his thing but you were still so frustrated that you couldn’t do more than frown.

“Hey, he was a jackass anyway. I'm sure, no I know , a beautiful, kind girl like you will find another boyfriend soon enough.”

You snort. “Yeah sure, it's just that I really liked him, and I honestly thought he really cared about me and we had something special. But he turned out to be a fucken prick like you said.”

Javi sighs, putting his cigarette out. “I know, I know you did, but sometimes you have to go through heartbreak to realise what you really want and what's best for you, ya know.”

You swallow hard and make eye contact with him. His dark chocolate brown eyes melting you from the inside out. You realise that for what Javier's talking about, he’s it. He's the one you want and need, the one who has always been there for you, the one who has your back no matter what, the one who truly cares about you. 

You go for it and kiss him hard on the lips, full of passion and lust and more. He kisses you back just as hard, his hands cupping the side of your face. His tongue shoots into your mouth, dying to taste every bit of you he can. You moan into his mouth, the need for him to touch you, to be inside you grows, you pussy throbs at the thought of it. 

He breaks the kiss and breathlessly asks you. “My place?” You nod, biting your lip. He helps you up off the curb, forgetting about the whiskey and cups as you both jump in his car. He turns the car on and starts driving as fast as he dares to his apartment.

He puts one of his hands on your thigh as he drives, rubbing it back and forth closer and closer to your wet centre. He smirks as your breath hitches in your throat, his hand rubbing your clothed clit. Still managing to focus on the road, he slips his hands into your panties and his hands run over your pooling desire. 

“Fuck cariño, so fucken soaked, from just kissing me huh. I bet José never made you this wet.”

You moan as he begins circling your clit with his two middle fingers, grinding up into his touch.

“You're pretty needy for my touch huh, hermosa.” he chuckles, eyes still fixated on the road, trying to get home as fast as possible.

You whimper agreeing.

“Well I've got to focus on driving so you'll just have to use my hand to pleasure yourself for now.” He smirks as you immediately push two of his fingers into your dripping hole, needing something to fill that aching emptiness. 

“Fuck!” you moan loudly. Javi’s cock begins to throb below his jeans, a deep growl escaping from his lips.

You grind feverishly on his fingers and palm. “That’s it baby, make yourself cum on my fingers before we get home, I know you can.”

You moan, accepting his challenge, grinding harder and against his thick fingers. He pushes a third one in for good measure. Causing your head to fall back, your eyes closing from the pleasure. He begins pushing his own fingers into you harder and harder. You slip a hand of your own down your underwear and rub your clit.

“Fuck I”m so close Javi, so fucken close!”

“That ‘s it sweetheart, we are almost there… cum for me amor.”

A string of moans leave your parted lips as the sensation peaks. 

“Atta girl!”

Javi helps ride you through your high, pushing his dripping fingers in and out of your sensitive cunt. He pulls away, when it becomes too much, you squirming under his touch. He raises his soaked fingers to his mouth, groaning deeply as your sweet taste touches his tongue. 

“Fuck muñeca, you taste delicious…so fucken sweet!” Javi moans, softly grinding upwards into his jeans to help relieve the growing pressure. You blush, slightly embarrassed as if he wasn't fingering you seconds ago.

He parks the car and you both kiss deeply for a moment before you rush outside up to his apartment. Grinning, he runs after you. He chases you up stairs and grabs you pushing you against his door, his hands boxing your head in, a dark, lustful looking in his eyes.

“Naughty girl you are, teasing me like that.”

You giggle, leaning up to kiss him with a big grin. He smiles down back at you and kisses you back, struggling to open his door behind you. He finally opens it, pushing you inside lips still stuck on one another as he pulls his jacket off, throwing it onto his floor somewhere. You push him against the now closed door, and begin kissing and biting down his jaw and neck onto the exposed chest his shirt leaves showing. His hands settle on your lower back and ass as you do. 

You unbutton his shirt fast, your pussy throbbing, his visible bulge staring at you through his tight jeans. He picks you up as soon as you finish the last button and walks you over to the bed. He gently puts you down, kissing down your neck to your breasts as he does so.

He stands back and shakes his open shirt off him, pulling off his shoes before unbuttoning his belt. You pull your shirt off your head, throw your shoes somewhere and undo your bra while watching him, his broad shoulders and tan chest just begging to have your hands run over them. 

He groans watching you slip off your pants and panties, opening your legs wide to make room for him. He pulls off his pants and you watch his hard cock spring free. You suspected Javier was well endowed by the sounds the girls made that he took to bed with him frequently but didn't expect him to be quite that big. He moves forward to stand between your legs and leans down to kiss you.

“You ready, mi amor.” Javi asks.

You nod staring into his beautiful dark eyes. “Yes I'm ready Javi… Give me all of you, please!” you beg.

He smirks stroking his cock, slipping it through your moistened folds before sticking his tip into your tight cunt. He slowly rocks into you inch by inch, feeling you squeeze around his length.

“God you're so fucken tight, baby.” he moans, pushing the last of his length into your aching pussy. 

You moan feeling his huge cock stretch you, just enough to blur the lines of pain and pleasure. He pulls halfway out and slowly thrusts back again, still letting you adjust to the size of him. Your hands grip his broad shoulders. Breathy moans fill the otherwise quiet room.

It feels different for the both of you to just having normal sex it feels more special like you are exchanging your energy and love into one another. Your thighs rest around your waist as he leans down and kisses your breasts lovingly, his thrusts growing deeper and faster as he does. 

“Shit Javi, you feel so good… I'm getting close.” you moan out exasperated. He then sticks his hand between you and starts rubbing circles onto your sensitive clit urging the on come of your high. Whimpers fall out of your mouth, you dig your fingernails into Javi’s back hard, feeling your orgasm ready to erupt.

He rocks into you harder and faster, lifting your legs onto his shoulders to get as deep as he can go. He helps you through your leg shaking orgasm, his following soon after. He groans in your neck as his high comes. 

He carefully slips out before suddenly lowering himself down to your dripping middle and licks a few times up your overstimulating pussy, tasting the sweet and salty essence of your mixed climax, pulling away when your thighs begin to squeeze around his face, pushing his head away as it becomes too much for your cloyed cunt.

He then rises back up to your face and kisses your soft red lips feverishly. The taste of both of your pleasures are exchanged from his tongue to yours. He sighs breathlessly, letting you take all of his comforting weight on your front. You both smile as Javier fingers stroke your bare thigh and your hands scratch his scalp, his soft dampened locks between your fingers; he exhales happily content. 

You lie together comfortably, listening to each other's slowing heartbeats. As Javi drifts off to sleep you hear him whisper a quiet “I love you.” You smile, heart fluttering and whisper it back before you drift off into sleep yourself, your heart full as Javi cuddles into you, now content that you have found who you really want and who is best for you. 

***********

Translations (according to google):

Mi amor - my love

Cariño - sweetheart

Muñeca - doll

Hermosa - gorgeous

Mi amada - my beloved

Puta mentirosa - lying bitch

Cabrón - asshole/bastard

************

#javier pena x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena smut #javier pena #javier pena narcos #narcos fanfiction #narcos smut #javier pena x you

[ahamkara-apologist]

Okay I kinda get being dissapointed at how they rushed the Sov sibling reconcilliation with just one conversation after drawing it out for months but y'all...this really isn't the end-all-be-all of Crow's character arc, nor is it necessarily out of line for him. His biggest weakness is that he's a bleeding heart who lets people walk all over him- remember how he decided not to get revenge on Spider despite Spider very literally keeping him as a slave? Or how he killed a psion because he was too empathetic to a hive guardian? As much as I love him, and as much as his love is a terrifying force when weilded correctly, he's soft and weak. He always has been. He was bound to forgive Mara eventually, esp. since they have a psychic twin bond going on.

I think y'all are also forgetting the fact that Mara has had quite a bit of character development over the past year or so and has very notably been more open about her emotions and better about keeping herself out of Crow's life- because she got bitchslapped by the reality of what she'd done to him in Season of the Lost and then got shaken to the core by her confrontation with the Witness in Witch Queen. She hasn't been 'defanged', she realized that the way she was acting qualified her to be a Disciple (aka the worst of the worst, the enemy she'd been hellbent on fighting this whole time) and that in tandem with Crow's rejection upset her deeply enough for her to change her behavior, which hasn't been as apparent until now. Idk how y'all can forgive how Uldren Sov slaughtered hundreds of Awoken citizens and wreaked havoc on the Reef but is changed as Crow without also acknowledging the fact that Mara herself changed as well. It's not as dramatic of a difference because it happened more gradually and without intervention from a Taken Ahamkara and the Traveller, but its still there and is the most apparent its ever been right now. It wouldn't surprise me if the reason why Crow is forgiving her now- apart from the fact that he's a softie and discounting potential Riven bullshit- is because she's proven she's changed by both keeping her distance and being more emotionally open with him, as well as open about how she knows she fucked up. That's the second thing Uldren wanted other than her approval, after all.

Also, it's been like, 2 years of Crow being pissed at Mara and avoiding her, so them starting to make up now is kinda necessary even if it feels a bit rushed. I personally would have loved to see more snark and nettling from Crow's end, bc I love conflict and sibling angst, but it really isn't out of character nor is it throwing away Crow's character arc. It would have if Mara hadn't changed, but she has. And while I myself love storylines where victims don't need to forgive their abusers and can exert their wrath upon them as they wish, the fact of the matter is that how such a situation needs to be dealt with varies immensely on a person-to-person basis, which the writing team has already proven they're capable of understanding. Just look at Calus's and Caiatl's relationship! That ended with no reconcilliation because Calus simply refused to change, while Mara has spent the past year trying to get Crow to feel comfortable with her as an equal in conversations and open up to him more and trying to break her habit of watching him like a hawk- aka, acting like an actual sister rather than the pseudo-mother figure she'd picked up from Osanna. Ofc Crow the softie is going to respond to that, esp. since he's got a psychic connection to her via Awoken Twin Magic and seems to have been walking Uldren's memories as of late. He just genuinely is really fucking bad at holding a grudge.

(And while its easy to go 'oh the writing is lazy and rushed', I also think its kinda sus that Riven specifically talks about the human wish to reconnect with family right after the Sov sibling talk happens. It wouldn't surprise me if she picked up on Mara's desire to reconnect with her brother and pushed Crow towards forgiving her. It seems like she's been trying to pull Uldren's memories to the forefront everytime she talks with him and that could be a big factor as to why he's been reflecting on them a lot recently)

#destiny 2 #mara sov #uldren sov #crow #like id have loved for more fighting and drama and tbh i miss mean bitch mara #but also this is entirely in line with crows character and also. mara deadass is not the person she was before #turns out that learning your actions are seen as admirable by a xenocidal alien entity #is a pretty damn good incentive to buckle the fuck up and learn to change for the better!!

[not-goldy]

Tkk have zero respect for Jk. Today, tkk still lying saying Jikook seperated after 5 weeks or Jk wanted to join Tae, but can't cause of tattoos, even tho he never said any of that & Jimin was a last resort, even tho Jk could've enlisted alone. Mad they didn't get the buddy system for their favs. My question tho, why is it Jk always doing all the sacrificing in their minds? Its Jk wanted to be with his baby, but couldn't. You don't hear them say Tae could've enlisted with Jk instead, if tattoos were an issue tho. Do you? Does this mean Tae doesn't love JK as much as Jk loves Tae, since Tae didn't sacrifice what he wanted to do, to be with Jk? You don't hear them saying poor Jk, when all tae's pictures of him and jennie hit the web or Tae was vacationing with her or walking with her holding her hand in Paris and how Tae spent more time in Paris with Jennie, then he did with Jk on that friend ski trip. Do you? Its always Jk either being the shitty BF emotionally abusing Tae & even physically cause they try to say Jk yanks Tae away from people, etc or its Jk is the reason Taekook is not Taekooking or Its his tattoos, he couldn't go, but he wanted too LIE. Its them saying Tae tried to tell us for months Jk is his lover, but Jk is off doing fanservice with others and hurting Tae instead. The flip flopping narratives & victim complex throw on Tae is disturbing. Its okay for Tae to fuck Jennie for 2 years, hold her hand in Paris, take intimate pics in her bed, take couple selfies with her in his house wearing matching clothes, follow her on IG, lounge in bed with Wooga and kiss on them and go off with them and hang on randoms in paris & say he likes Jimin the most over Jk and move another man into his home who is not Jk. See all of that is okay in their minds and yet they still manage to make Jk the abuser treating tae like shit, cause how dare he enlist with another man, hang out with his 97 line, its all fanservice, he doesn't treat tae right.

They don't know what narrative they want to run with, but they know whatever it is, Tae has to be the main character. They are all tae solos and want him to be the main character no matter what. Even if it means painting him as a helpless abused victim by the most popular idol on one hand & on the other, the one Jk has to make sacrifices for, but never the other way around. Tae can treat JK like garbage, cause its deserved for all his years doing fanservice with Jimin. They really hate Jk and they hate him more now since Chapter 2, cause he didn't play along with what Tae was doing. Plain and simple, but he's the most popular idol and that pairs well with more attention on Tae when it comes to trending, so they keep him around for that. Its not Taekook they like. Its the ship being big that they like and the attention they get from it and the bigger the ship, the more attention for Tae and that is what matters. That's what it always been about it. Funny thing is though, Tae hates these fools and keeps shitting on their fantasies on purpose and they keep letting him. He gives a little, then snatches their fucking scalps for them. Deserved too.

That's an understatement I don't know a single Tuktukkers who likes Jungkook for real

In fact he has no agency no autonomy where they are concerned everything he does is coerced, against his will there's no free choice in their vocabulary

To think some of them are grown adults with this mindset is crazy

Jungkook has been caught sneaking Jimin into his hotel room by hybe hidden cameras and nooooo Jimin is the one to blame for it. Not the guy who sneaks into his room at 1am to lie on his bed doing absolutely nothing

They just can't admit the fact Jungkook IS NOT who and what they think he is nor what they want him to be in their ship realm.

And they HATE him for it too

They hate that man they ship with their favs

[modelbus]

YOOOO MODDLEE

yeah I did it again.

(Help I have a problem of disappearing into thin air)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PART THREE OF CUT CHAOS SHEBSJNSUH

you said you would write 500 chapters.. but like obviously exaggerating..? (Kiddinggg)

tho a few more couldn’t hurt..

juuuust saying if you ever feel like it I will eventually see it and it will eventually make my week. <3333

BUT THATS NOT WHY WE ARE HERE! (I’m sorry my requests are always so long and dramatic bro I just brain like that)

Actual request:

ok so like I knowww cut chaos started from rumours but like rumours are an easy way to start plot lines k? (Also I use she pronouns out of habit but they is pog too)

the friends in question: Tommyinnit (duh), Wilbur (moosic boi), Ranboo (generation loss trauma guy), Possibly Slimecicle?? I know he’s not someone you do requests for normally buttt if you’re okay with it that would be POG, or if slime is a no, tubbo!

SO a few months ago Y/N started working on an SMP with some minimal custom mods, some fancy texture packs, maybe some data packs, and its like this BIGGG project, BUT its not public and its taking a lot of her time, so she can only really do a few streams and most of the time because her schedule is so full its hard to work out streams with friends so, she is alone. with the internet being the internet people started to think something was up, some annoyed viewers made a few rumours and people kept making things up and escalating things until people were saying she did all sorts of horrible things to “lose all her friends” but one of the most popular theories was that she was emotionally abusing them (??? Internet wildin ig) she ignored them while mostly finishing the stuff for the smp, but decided to address it in a very- y/n way. Getting four friends to come to her house and hide slightly off camera while she made a purposefully bad apology video only for them to jump out at the end and her to stand up and be like “YALL REALLY THOUGHT I WAS SOME MASTER MANIPULATOR?! I’M JUST A FUNKY LITTLE CHAOTIC MINECRAFT GOBLIN N’ I’VE BEEN WORKING ON AN SMP THIS WHOLE TIME!! ITS GONNA BE SUPER COOL AND THESE FOUR PLUS ALOOOOT MORE PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE THERE I’M POSTING THE CREATORS SOON AND ITS LAUNCHING IN A MONTH!, SO STOP ASSUMING I’M A BAD PERSON AND GET PUMPED BITCHES!” something along those lines, maybe at the end a little peek at what people are responding with. (Obviously no pressure, but like id be cool) (thanks for considering deity of the busses and models.)

HOW WE LIKING THE SILLIES?!?

P.S I’m not always an angst gremlin (just most of the time..) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

I DO BE LIKING THE SILLIES (and thank you for elevating me to the level of deity, my ego has been inflated)

Pairing: Cc! Wilbur, Tommy, Ranboo, Charlie Slimecicle x Gn!Reader (platonic)

Roaring Rumors

Life was all about sacrifices.

Or, that’s what you keep telling yourself when you’re up at 1AM working on your server. Putting together an SMP is harder than it sounds; texture packs, data packs, comparability, world-building, even the (seemingly) simply act of contacting people to play on it. For the amount of time you spent on your computer, your hands might as well be part of your keyboard.

Sleep wasn’t the only thing you sacrificed. Streaming, even just fun ones with your friends, had quickly became rare. Although you loved to hop on a call while coding still, your online presence had severely receded.

You just keep telling yourself that sacrifices are necessary. That the payoff would be worth it.

And it really would be, but you just had to get there first. Which was proving harder than you had thought.

At the very least, you still had your friends. Wilbur sitting silently on call with you while you work, Tommy dragging you out of your room, Ranboo always willing to get excited over your progress. Every day you woke up with a text from your groupchat—typically Charlie—just filling you in on the latest internet trend by a meme.

Today, your news comes from Wilbur and Tommy.

“I think they’re canceling you.” Wilbur says casually while you’re in the midst of detailing the hunger bar for a texture pack.

“Ooh, you’re a wrong’un!” Tommy yells in the background of Wilbur’s side of the call.

The three of you had been idly chatting while each doing your own thing. Wilbur and Tommy were engaged in some Twitter competition, as far as you know.

“Canceling me for what?” You ask, deciding to ignore Tommy’s shouting.

“Existing, I think.” Wilbur answers.

“So the normal.”

“The normal.”

Although the conversation stops there, you can’t help yourself. Later, during one of the few hours you dedicate to getting sleep to stay alive, you pull open Twitter on your phone. Your last tweet was nearly two weeks ago, so it’s been a minute.

But you just want to make sure nothing horrible happened while you were busy. You’re a content creator, this is normal. Definitely. You definitely aren’t just justifying this so you can do it.

You swipe through tweets, heading to trending and searching your name. Tweets load, making your mouth run dry. Wilbur wasn’t joking.

All you can do is scroll, reading as the messages get wilder and wilder. From people saying they were missing you to theories on why nobody was streaming you. Each one seemed considerably more implausible, and before you know it you’re glaring at your screen like it’s to fault.

Some thought you had grown apart.

Some thought you had a falling out.

And, apparently, a lot thought you were emotionally abusing them. Or, depending on the tweet, manipulating them.

Quite honestly, you didn’t even know how they got the idea. The long threads of explanations did nothing but send you into a spiral, biting your bottom lip so hard that it bleeds.

You were so close to finishing the SMP. It needed just a few things, then you'd be able to start scheduling to get it up and running. You didn't have the time nor mental capacity to deal with whatever the fuck is going on right now.

Is it a good choice? Maybe not. But do you still ignore the accusations? Hell yes.

-

By the time you get even closer to finishing the preparations for your SMP, you've come up with the perfect plan to address the (quite stupid) rumors. It'll be a two-in-one; you address the rumors and announce the SMP at the same time.

"How long do I have to lay on this floor?" Tommy asks, stretched out behind your chair.

"Nobody asked you to lay on the floor." Wilbur points out, standing next to your computer. Charlie, on the other side, laughs.

"Yeah man, you wanted to be down there."

"Besides, I'm doing great down here!" Ranboo chimes in.

You roll your eyes, grinning. "I'm about to start stream, so it won't be for much longer. Just wait for my cue, yeah?"

Tommy grumbles, but shuts up. You take that as your chance to start the stream, switching it off your waiting screen and waving to the camera. Your chosen stream title has brought in a bit more than your usual casual steam view number, "Talking about some serious stuff," leading people to believe there will be drama. And if it's drama they want, it's drama you'll give.

"Hello, hello!" You smile, leaning back. "So I've decided to talk about some things. Namely, the Twitter shit. I am so sorry for everything, and I mean that. A lot. Sincerely. There's meaning in it."

Tommy snorts, and from the corner of your eye you catch Wilbur kick him to shut him up.

"What am I sorry about?" You ask rhetorically, acting like you read it off of chat. "Oh, you know. People have been saying all types of stuff. The things about me manipulating my friends?" There's a pause while you let that sink in. "So, I'm sorry."

It's a purposefully shitty apology, but you sigh and act like its heartfelt for a few moments, nodding towards chat. Their messages are mostly confused, especially because it isn't one emote-only.

"Sorry you guys are so gullible!" You shout, and Tommy practically tackles you.

Wilbur's the one to fix your chair, Ranboo and Charlie appearing next to you within moments.

"You guys really thought this one could manipulate me? The master?" Charlie asks the stream, pointing at you.

"Yeah!" Tommy shouts, way too energetic for someone who complained five minutes ago about being on the floor. "We're the master manipulators! Get fooled!"

"I, for one, haven't manipulated anyone-" Ranboo starts, but Tommy slaps a hand over his mouth and nods empathetically.

"Yeah, I don't know what you guys were thinking, but I've just been playing fucking Minecraft for the past few months nonstop." You laugh.

"Nonstop. It's a problem." Wilbur nods.

"It is not a problem!" Pause. "Anyways, I made an SMP! And that's where I've been! Not because I've been manipulating my friends or some shit, stop being dumbasses."

"It'll be super cool!" Ranboo adds in helpfully.

"These four-"

"That's us!" Charlie points around at himself, Wilbur, Tommy, and Ranboo.

"-will be on it, plus a lot more. It'll be posting those people soon! As in, check your Twitter obsessively guys! The SMP will be in about a month, too, so get fucking excited! I want to see some hype!"

"WOO!" Tommy screams, making everyone cringe at having their eardrums ruptured.

"So that's all I wanted to talk about I think. Anything to add, guys?" You glance around at the four surrounding you with a grin.

"One thing." Charlie nods, leaning in really close. "I have a secret. This SMP, it's actually-" He hits your end stream button mid-sentence. "And that's how you keep 'em interested."

-

Ycgmaenthusist NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP

Mammalianeighingreflecenthusiest We are dumb as fuck aren’t we

Poabsenthusiest i will RIOT IN THE STREETS if any of yall be mean to MY STREAMER -> Cmwylenthusist FR I GOT TWO FISTS AND A CAUSE

#dsmp #mcyt #mcyt imagine #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x you #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot #ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo mcyt #ranboo #ranboolive #charlie slimecicle #charlie slimesicle x reader

[f1letters]

snow on the beach | ls18

"you wanting me tonight feels impossible, but it's coming down"

summary: nothing would ever compare to the feeling of simultaneously falling in love with each other

warning: overall fluff, rom-com energy that WILL cure any heartbreak really, friends to lovers, mentions of alcohol, swearing, just a story about the exact moment when two people realize they fell in love with each other, not proofread (because my laptop is acting up and i'm done for today lol)

pairing: lance stroll x reader

word count: 3.2k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

hey everyone! honestly I've been feeling a bit down lately so this Wednesday I indulged my (not so) secret (now) crush on lance stroll and decided to treat myself (and all the lance lovers ofc) to some well-deserved lance content, haha! and for the ones who don't like him... just give it a try anyways and trust the process haha! enjoy! 💜

masterlist

One night, a few moons ago

I saw flecks of what could've been lights

But it might just have been you

Passing by unbeknownst to me

Do you know the feeling of your soul inexplicably catching fire? Of losing control of your thoughts all at once? Of your body being filled with enthusiasm at the sight of someone?

Y/N was very familiar with the thrill that hovered every time their eyes met across the room, as lately, it seemed to happen every time the young woman shared the same space with him.

It didn't matter how much she tried to deny it, or how much she looked for other justifications that would explain the butterflies she felt in her stomach. 

One thing was for sure: even in a room full of the most important people in her life, she still found herself continuously looking for his big, beautiful, brown eyes.

It was almost like he was the light in every room she entered.

The driver's lips curved gently, giving her a small lopsided smile as he returned his attention to her brother, bringing his glass back to his lips.

The girl's attention dropped from his eyes to his soft lips, studying the sensual way his mouth moved as he drank the rest of his whiskey. 

I wonder how his lips would feel on m- Stop, what are you even thinking?! Y/N shook her head, letting out a quiet growl, as she stopped whatever fantasy her mind was trying to create before it was possible.

We're just friends. She thought, trying to convince herself that this was just a moment of weakness. Maybe not even that.

Okay, sure, Y/N and Lance seemed to get along beautifully, the two naturally gravitating towards each other every time they got together. But in reality, Y/N couldn't help thinking that he was just being nice, keeping his future brother-in-law's little sister company.

Glancing at the boy beside the Canadian, she saw Scotty who, as if reading the thoughts in his sister's head, turned towards her and gave her a small wave, followed by a hand gesture to invite her to join them. 

Y/N laughed nervously, shaking her head, and decided to walk to the large dining room table to get some more appetizers on her plate.

Nothing like good food to entertain a confused girl.

Life is emotionally abusive

And time can't stop me quite like you did

And my flight was awful, thanks for asking

I'm unglued, thanks to you

Her eyes admired the decorations throughout the house, adorned in detail, without missing a single corner. It was clear that the eldest James sibling and his fiancée had set no limits on their housewarming party.

Their new home was simply magnificent. Its rustic stone walls perfectly complemented its wooden beams and columns, maintaining the house's original charm yet giving it a modern touch. 

The living room led to a majestic timbered window where Y/N seemed to spend eternities admiring the view from the top of the snow-covered mountain.

This really is Scotty's dream, endless snow, she smiled unconsciously.

"Uh-oh, she's smiling." She heard the Australian beside her, her smile growing exponentially as he leaned his back against the wall next to the window. "This can only mean danger."

"Shut up, you idiot." The girl shoved his arm playfully, shaking her head in annoyance. "FYI, I was having a proud sister moment, but I'm glad you stopped me. I definitely needed someone to wake me up from my temporary madness episode."

"Aww, baby sis, you're sooo cute." Scotty pinched her cheek, just like he always did since they were little, in order to annoy her. He knew how much she hated when he did that, so it didn't come as a surprise when she slapped his hand away from her face. "Hey! This is a no-violence zone. Just because you're an adult now doesn't mean I won't tell Mum and Dad."

Y/N rolled her eyes at the image of the smirk on her brother's face. "Just leave me alone, Scott. Go piss off Chloe or something."

The girl turned back towards the food, picking up a small pastry for herself, while the boy put his arm around his sister's shoulders.

He sighed dramatically, although she could still hear the smile on his face. "And here I was thinking you were going to say that I should 'go piss off Lance'... But I'm sure you would rather have that task for yourself, right sis?"

Almost choking on the delicacy she was eating, the girl started to cough, drawing way too much unnecessary attention to her.

Scotty was informing everyone that she was fine, enjoying her reaction to his words too much, as her eyes rose from the table. 

And she couldn't help but curse her bad luck when she found Lance at the other end of the room, right in front of her, wearing a concerned look on his face, as she almost choked to death.

At that moment, she realized not even time stopped her quite like he did.

But mostly, she realized she was completely and utterly fucked.

And it's like snow at the beach

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me

Tonight feels impossible

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

Scotty was patting her on the back, trying to help her, but he was interrupted by the sudden movement of the girl turning towards him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She was nervously fixing her hair, her voice still struggling to come out.

Her older brother couldn't contain his laughter, letting his hand rest on the girl's shoulder. "Oh, my sweet, sweet Y/N... Everyone knows you're head over heels for our boy Lance! No need to deny it, especially to your big bro."

"WHAT?!" She yelled, drawing all eyes in the room back to her. She chuckled lightly turning to the crowd. Before anyone could say anything, she grabbed Scotty's wrist and pulled him into the kitchen. "What?!" She scream-whispered now.

"You heard me." Scotty said, crossing his arms confidently in front of her chest. "You have a big fat crush on Lance and you know it, I know it, everyone knows it!"

"Only someone blind wouldn't be capable of seeing it!" He continued to tease her, having too much fun making her uncomfortable. "In fact, even a blind man could tell by the way you sigh all lovey-dovey every time he walks by you."

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

"Yes. You. Do." Scotty emphasized word for word, making the girl give up, even though she would never admit defeat. The man took advantage of her silence to provoke her even more. "Y/N and Lance, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-"

"Scott, stop! Are you a fucking child?" Y/N approached him, covering his mouth with her hand. "I hate you, I swear. Stop this nonsense!"

"Don't worry, baby sis, he likes you too. I'm sure of it." The snowboarder said, giving his sister a kiss on her temple and a final pat on the shoulder, and leaving her alone in the kitchen with her own thoughts.

Lance? Wanting me? That feels impossible. She thought to herself, feeling slightly disappointed. 

But she never let those feelings hang in the air too long, immediately contradicting them. 

It doesn't matter. I do not like him. 

We're just friends.

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, Lance swept through the crowd anxiously in search of the girl that he couldn't seem to get out of his head ever since he laid eyes on her that afternoon.

Though he himself also denied his growing feelings for the young woman, Lance couldn't help but notice how his palms were sweating, or how his heart was beating faster. 

He just couldn't help but feel worried when she disappeared in that state, leaving him wondering how she was.

Waking him up from his ceaseless search, a familiar hand landed on his shoulder, making him turn and find his sister with a sly smile on her face.

"Thank God you chose Formula 1 as a career because you would make a terrible actor."

"What on earth-"

"Get that lost puppy look off your face, Y/N's fine!" Chloe laughed, shaking her head. "Who knew? Two Strolls and two Jameses..."

"I'm not- I was just-" The driver found himself stuttering, unable to form a coherent sentence. "Jesus, Chloe, we're just friends! Friends care about each other. Don't start with this shit again."

"Mm-hmm, sure, friends." Chloe pretended to accept the repetitive excuse that came out of her brother's mouth every time. "I love it when you lie straight to my face just because you don't have the courage to admit that you have the hots for my favourite sister-in-law."

"I don't have the hots for-"

"Hey, watch it, pretty boy!" A voice appeared from behind him as the mysterious person quickly hugged the Canadian by his shoulders, causing his older sister to laugh uncontrollably. "It's my baby sister we're talking about here! Control your emotions, Romeo!"

"I- She- I don't-" Lance found himself in an even more awkward position again, suddenly turning into a deer in the headlights as he was caught off guard.

"Ahhh, kids." Scotty sighed, moving to his fiancée's side, leaning his head against hers without taking his eyes off the boy in front of him. "So young, so in love, and most of all... so stupid."

Lance threw his hands in the air in frustration, turning his back on the couple as he headed to the porch where he would be able to finally get rid of the two of them.

This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen

I searched "aurora borealis green"

I've never seen someone lit from within

Blurring out my periphery

Lance carefully opened the elegant glass doors, being immediately hit by the intense cold that settled at the top of the mountain as usual.

He silently thanked himself for remembering to put on his army green padded coat and his grey beanie on his head. He would never have been able to survive those freezing temperatures without them, even if his Canadian blood helped him a bit.

Another factor that quickly contributed to his body heating up was the girl sitting by herself on the wooden stairs.

As soon as his brown eyes landed on Y/N, the driver could have sworn his heart started pumping faster. 

Just a coincidence, he thought, this is all Chloe's fault for putting these ideas in my head.

Gathering the little courage he had left to face these new feelings that were beginning to stir within him, Lance silently walked over to her and sat down on her left side, making the girl jump in fright.

"Oh my God, Lance!" She brought one of her black-gloved hands to her chest in shock, as the other one removed the AirPods from her ears. "You were about to give me a heart attack! Please don't scare a girl like that without warning."

"Sorry, sorry! It won't happen again!" He put his hand on top of her shoulder, laughing at her reaction. 

He took a few moments of silence to watch as her eyes sparkled with excitement as she took in her surroundings.

"God, it's really beautiful up here, don't you agree?" She said, almost in a whisper.

Lance kept his gaze focused on her, not even thinking about taking his eyes off her beauty.

"Just like a movie scene."

My smile is like I won a contest

And to hide that would be so dishonest

And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it

'Til you do, 'til it's true

Unaware that he was subconsciously referring to her and not the dazzling snow that surrounded them, Y/N spoke in agreement. "It is, isn't it? I feel like I'm trapped in a Christmas movie or something." She laughed, eventually letting out a happy sigh. "They're going to love living here. I'm so happy for Scotty and Chloe, you know? They deserve this."

"Yeah, me too. They deserve more than anyone else to live their dream." Lance saw the girl shiver from the corner of his eye as she hug her own body closer. The driver moved closer to her and let his hands run up and down her arms to try to warm her up. "Are you cold? Do you want to go back in?"

"No, no! I'm fine! Just a little chilly, that's all, but thanks."

"Here." The boy removed the hat from his head, pulling it over her hair. The girl blushed at the affectionate gesture, not being able to hide the smile that was stamped on her face as if she had just won a contest. "That will make you stay warmer."

Now it's like snow at the beach

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me

Tonight feels impossible

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

"Thanks, Lance. You didn't have to do that." The girl smoothed her hair shyly, pulling it behind her ear.

As it always seemed to happen, their eyes met, and couldn't let go. They were like magnets, drawn to each other. They just couldn't stand being apart from each other.

With no sound around them other than the muffled voices from inside the house, they both felt their stomachs drop as they both realized it simultaneously.

Fuck me, I'm completely in love with him, Y/N thought.

Fuck me, I'm madly in love with her, Lance thought.

Suddenly, all seemed to be coming down. The two felt consumed all around by the connection between them and they both knew they could no longer escape their undeniable attraction.

"I think I've had enough socializing for today," Lance said, charged with adrenaline. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"Lead the way, Stroll."

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

The wind blew in through the open windows of the driver's Aston Martin as the two made their escape without anyone back at the party noticing.

The girl's hair was blowing in the breeze and, even though he knew he should keep his eyes on the road, Lance couldn't help but appreciate the moment and the fascinating smile she wore on her face as she sang to the song that echoed through the car.

God, she's just... absolutely gorgeous, he thought to himself. 

A small smile appeared on his face, mirroring hers, as he imagined how much his older sister was going to piss him off for being right this whole time about the boy's crush on Scotty's sister.

Hopefully, the headache would pay off and he would have a chance to get the girl.

I can't speak, afraid to jinx it

I don't even dare to wish it

But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet

Now I'm all for you like Janet

Can this be a real thing? Can it?

"We're here." The boy said, parking the car in an empty lot with no one in sight.

"The beach! I love this place, how did you know?" Y/N jumped with joy, getting out of the car and letting her arms wrap around his shoulders without thinking too much about what she was doing. "Oh, sorry! I don't know what-"

She was about to pull away when Lance, driven by the realization of his most intimate emotions, pulled her closer to him by the waist. The girl's eyes widened as his face approached hers. "Just took a guess."

Oh but it wasn't a guess.

In all the years they'd known each other, Lance had found himself noticing every detail about Y/N. 

The way her eyes sparkled when she talked about the happiest days of her life being at the beach. 

How she bit her bottom lip every time someone asked her about her unstable career as an artist. 

How she tugged the skins on her thumb impatiently whenever she didn't have her hands busy with some task.

Lance didn't know if he could speak, if he shouldn't wish for a chance with her.

He was scared, no, he was completely terrified of the idea that he might lose her.

Could they one day become a real thing?

Fuck it, he thought. It was now or never.

The driver went all-in and risked everything, moving closer to the girl as his eyes dropped to her plump lips. 

He felt a gasp come out of her mouth, such was the way she was taken aback by his sudden move on her, but Lance didn't flinch and persisted on his way to her, until he felt her lips brush against his.

The two leaned towards each other, ready to be eternally consumed by their burning passion...

Until they felt a snowflake fall between their barely joined lips.

Are we falling like snow at the beach?

Weird, but fuckin' beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me

Tonight feels impossible

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

Y/N turned away from him as her eyes watched as the snow fell from the sky, painting the sand on the beach white.

"Is that-" Y/N couldn't believe her eyes.

"Snow? On the beach?" Lance replied, equally confused. "This is so-"

"Weird." "Fucking beautiful." The two spoke simultaneously, bursting into laughter at the difference in their reactions.

Like snow on the beach (Snow on the beach)

Like snow on the beach (Flying in a dream)

Like snow on the beach (You wanting me)

Like snow, ah

But it's comin' down

No sound, it's all around

Lance's hand came up to the face of the girl in front of him, stroking her jaw with his thumb as he pressed his lips to hers not wanting to risk the moment being interrupted again.

His mouth pressed over her slightly pursed lips, starting with a gentle kiss and building in intensity as they both lost themselves in the moment for what felt like forever.

"I don't know how to put this into words but... Y/N, you are the most amazing, beautiful, fascinating girl I've ever met. Since I laid eyes on you, I've been head over heels for you. I've tried to deny it- Well, more because Chloe kept bugging me about my crush on you." The driver began to ramble on with the nervousness that came with his feeble attempt at a declaration of love. "Anyway, focus Lance! Y/N, you- You are everything. I-"

"Lance." The girl laughed, placing her hands on either side of his face and placing a quick kiss on his mouth. "I love you too."

"Yeah, those are the exact words I meant to say." He laughed, reuniting their lips once again, as they both got lost in their own little wonderland.

Like snow on the beach

(It's comin' down, it's comin' down)

(It's comin' down, it's comin' down)

taglist: @dan3avocado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis  

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12

@amsofftrack @scuderiamh @junkiespromise @loudoperahumanoidpanda @honeyric3 @holy-macncheese-balls @ricciardosheart @pierreverstapkin @ravenqueen27 @majkaftorek @home-of-disaster @buendiabebeta @itgirlofnowhere @roses-of-eden @thewintersunset @rubychocolatechips

(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 imagine #f1 one shot #lance stroll imagine #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll #ls18 #f1letters #f1 x taylor swift #f1 x midnights #f1 x reader #Spotify #lance stroll one shot #formula 1 one shot #lance stroll fluff #ls18 x reader #lando norris fic #f1 fic

[bitchesgate3]

I'm pretty intrigued by the dynamic between Ketheric and Isobel because it reminds me so much of what I experienced being emotionally enmeshed with one of my parents for my entire childhood.

I think most people understand the weight of being parentified when a child must get a job to help contribute money to the family. But I don't think very many people understand what it's like growing up with a parent who over-relies on family members to be emotionally stable - and eventually having to take on the role as the go-to person to be that stability.

Of feeling suffocated by such an overly needy parent - who controls via their emotional needs and griefs - that makes you act in certain ways because surely you don't want to be the death of your parent.

I'm right at the end of Act 2, so the game may say otherwise, but I wonder how Isobel feels about everything happening.

"Your father loved you so much that he brought you back from the dead," sounds so kindly at first. But the sinister truth beyond the obsession is living knowing the fact that the only thing keeping the man alive is you. Once your mother's godforsaken task - now yours.

The game may play up that she resents this, but in my experience there is a love/hate growing up under this dynamic with a parent. You resent this parent for a reason you can't quite put your finger on as a kid, but its the resentment of being made to emotionally soothe them when they never soothe you: which was supposed to be their job. You, as the child, rely on them for survival. You have to look like everything is ok because your parent being upset is so catastrophic (that they will be too dysfunctional to meet your survival needs) that your own needs feel less important.

But on the flip side, you do become parentified in a role reversal. You can't help but love your parent and want the best for them. The emotional abuse is so subtle and imperceptible, that it just makes sense that you would never assert a boundary with your parent because of how much it would throw them into a depression. Being rejected by the one person who loves them.

I wonder how upset Isobel was when Ketheric began drifting from Selune to Shar. How, like a parent, she might have felt like he should have known better. How her own parent felt like a rotten, naive child in doing so. What if a hidden reason for Isobel holding firmly to Selune was to try to convince him. Not every action is tied to the enmeshed parent, but sometimes there are undermining doubts that maybe you're still not acting on your own behalf and still feel like you have to support a parent who should be living their own life - not sucking lifeforce from you.

I kind of feel for Isobel because she seems sweet, and even with the snark, there may be a genuine sensitivity within her that makes emotionally unstable people flock to her like an oasis in the desert (which is an experience I relate to). I even fear that with Aylin's PTSD, Isobel will just be put in that role again of emotional caretaker - being the only thing that grounds Aylin out of her rages. And that scares me.

From a note found in Isobel's room, I feel like she will fall into a depression now that she's been brought to life. Her father soon to be dead. And perhaps now, she will be stuck in a repeating cycle. Where she is always the beacon of hope for others out of necessity rather than living the life that should have always been hers and only hers.

If she dies, will the people around her desperately want to revive her as well? Because she shines so brightly they can't live without her light?

#cw emotional parentification #cw enmeshment #there is another name for this term that is more on the nose what is going on #isobel thorm #ketheric thorm #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #if some of this resonates with you - please look up “emotional inc*st” for resources

[blackpilljesus]

There's a strong link between the way moids treat cattle/animals and the way they treat women. Believing they're here for moids to use as they see fit, keeping them in enclosures to extract from them while claiming to protect them when they've forced them to be dependent on moids, forcing them to reproduce so they can have more fodder to exploit, and domesticating them.

Saw a video of torture devices that were used on women that were anything but quiet docile submissive slaves. Considering this and things like the witch trials, authorities turning a blind eye most times when moids kill women but imprisoning women who fight back against abusers, moids impregnating -raping- girls whose bodies hadn't developed yet (which could be a contributing factor to why we have a huge gap inbetween our physical strength) moids seeking younger women & girls to reproduce with because these women wont have reached a level of self actualisation to realise how pathetic the xy is, etc. I believe that moids have -attempted to- domesticate women through femicide as well as social punishments & torture.

Emphasis on "attempt" because I dont think women are naturally the empathetic emotionally observant yet mindless mommy bangmaids moids want them to be. There are a few far gone but most just act in a manner that pleases maIes to survive. The difference in womens behaviour when there's maIes around vs when there's not is the biggest telltale sign of this.

Women who weren't useful to maIe supremacy were killed off or brutalised into conforming. Women who conformed went on to reproduce.

This reddit post from the (rip) blackpillfeminism sub explains this concept so well:

This is all something that explains our environment. The war has been fought & the damage has been done. What we see/live today are consequences of the aforementioned. Moids have taken everything from women they are literal terrorists they wont change & cant be forgiven idgaf. Most we can do is save possible lives going through this by refusing to add to it.

Side note; I'm not saying this to absolve anybody of responsibility. In the end moids choose to be evil & women choose to love n worship them so long as other women to be shields are around. My point is about how maIe terrorism has shaped womens behaviour/being as a whole. Those who are separatists/blackpilled wouldn't reproduce so our ideologies & systems die when we die. Sure there's outliers of every batch so I dont think the concept entirely will die but it's maIe supremacy that has systems guaranteeing its ingrained continuation.

#I personally in good conscience cannot and will not contribute another life to this male terrorist hellhole I'd rather unlive instead #to protect my offspring from this mess but most other women feel differently. They'd still want to find their nigel & pass their genes. #blackpill feminist #blackpill feminism #moids are terrorists #female separatism #female separatist #domestication theory #there are no words for how evil moids are #Behaviours that often make me think of the domestication theory is when I see women be polite to creeps. #Every woman knows the fake 'not interested/thats disgusting but please dont kill me' laugh/smile women do. #This is behaviour moids have moulded ruthlessly. Women who fight back or kill violent moids are punished or killed themselves meanwhile #women who are docile survive to reproduce which repeats the cycle. I'm sure there've been far more self-sufficient women in the past #but moids killed most of them & moulded whoever they could as women not needing them is a threat to their existence.

[absolutebl]

Hey Abl, trust you are well. So I took a month off bl to deal with life stuff and upon my return there's a lot of new shows and I'm feeling overwhelmed and need to prioritize. What should I start with that started airing in late October/November? Spanx!

BL Quick Picks - End of 2023 Releases

That finished its run? Sorry I don't keep that close track of things ending but stuff I loved that ended relatively recently as follows. (I'm giving you a range of styles to suit your mood.)

Felling light and fluffy?

Jun & Jun

(Korea Viki)

A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. Others boys are sniffing around too. Operative word being "sniffing" as much of this romance involves smell. With a snappy (sometimes even raunchy) script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching. With tons of rewatch potential (especially the last few eps), my only caution is this is for fans of the BL genre only, I don’t think it’ll work for anyone else. 9/10

Feeling complex and drama llama?

I Feel You Linger in the Air

(Thailand grey, YT for some)

I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show should easily have earned a 10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls. Argh. Whatever. 9/10

Feeling odd and chaotic?

Why R U?

(Korea iQIYI)

Korea decided to remake, of all possible Thai BLs, Why RU? And that is exactly what we got: a short form, clean & pretty, slightly confusing, uneven chemistry, all the same tropes KBL that kind of cliff-noted the original but with none of the heat or complex relationship dynamics. I just … what world is this? Because it is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. How do I rate it? In the end I have to go back to simple questions: did I like it, would I rewatch it, and would I recommend it? Yes. Probably. And probably not. What the actual hell? 8/10

Feeling dark and complex?

Tokyo in April is AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

(Japan Viki)

Two young men with a shared tragic past reunite and fall in love all over again, but the past will not stop hunting them. Based on a manga, this office set reunion romance is GREAT… damn it. It’s Japan in full on soft focus which means it gets emo, abusive, and chewy. These two characters are giving parts of their souls away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other. Japan gave us the Bed Friends that Thailand could never even imagine. But here’s the thing: I don’t enjoy my BL this heavy and cutting. I know that for The 8th Sense crowd this is peak BL and I can’t argue with the fact that the romantic devotion, domesticity, script, and acting IS all on point. It’s just not my personal preference for that point to be so damn sharp. I appreciate that this being 2023 I have the luxury of consistent quality (especially from Japan) and thus the ability to say… I acknowledge that this SHOULD get a 9/10 but I can’t emotionally go higher than 8/10

Feeling sappy and in need of comfort?

Stay By My Side

(Taiwan Viki)

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Feeling sexy?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho

(Japan Gaga)

I liked it a lot and it's classic yaoi of the kind that really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat from Japan and well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. It's good, but watching requires more patience than usual, even from Japan. 8/10

Feeling sweet and earnest?

Sing My Crush

(Korea iQIYI)

This a cute coming of age drama around music and 2 kinds of self acceptance and actualization journeys. This was basically Korea’s version of About Youth, and was perhaps a bit too soft and ungrounded by comparison, like a marshmallow sculpture. Sweet but somewhat lacking in discernible flavor. 8/10

If you want to know what I'm enjoying that's airing right now, I'm mot yet caught up this week but I have time today so the weekly ranking will drop in a few hours. But I can tell you with confidence that very little is likely to unseat...

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thailand iQiyi)

from my affections right now. I love it unconditionally and it's airing on iQIYI.

#asked and answered #2023 BL recomendations #end of year only #ouch burn on GMMTV none of theirs made the cute #stop fuckign up GMMTV #thai bl #japanese bl #korean bl #taiwanese bl #my dear gangster oppa #Sing My Crush #my personal weatherman #Stay By My Side #Tokyo in April is #Why R U? Korea #i feel you linger in the air #Jun and Jun #viki #gaga

[lakesbian]

i think cherie has a weird psychological fixation on alec. btw. for reasons such as

cheries Deal is about being powerful and scary and manipulative so she can be the one who hurts others instead of the one who gets hurt due to shes fundamentally alienated from connection w/ herself and others and has no other way to cope with existing without feeling like dirt

also her powers are abt being stuck in this miserable cramped home w a bunch of other miserable violent people and having to learn how to emotionally read everyone so she can cater to the abuser to keep herself safe + understand how to manipulate the other victims (to make life easier for herself, to hurt them to satiate her abuser & feel like she's regained some control, etc)

alec was one of the siblings slightly closer 2 her in age + one of the siblings she tormented, someone she knew exceedingly well as a result of her power. theres a connection there. its a bad connection but theres a connection. forced him to do horrible shit alongside heartbreaker + WoG implies she contributed 2 the sexual abuse by fostering the hypersexual behavior. basically i bet she thinks she has him read for filth

he was a sad little sopping wet crybaby 4 most of the time she knew him absolutely the type that would make younger cherie be like "tch...hes not cut out for anything." and tell him to stop being a whiny baby (<- she thinks this counts as helpful life advice). i think she would tell him this even if he wasn't actually crying. like he would go ":(" in his head and she would be like Stop being a whiny baby. just unprompted. also on the one occasion she tried to cheer him up she did so by letting him watch liveleak videos of people exploding on her phone.

anyway my point is. sad sopping wet crybaby jean-paul grows up, toughens up, runs away successfully (first heartbroken to do so), and THEN becomes a threat of stabilizing his own power 2 the point where he could eventually become more successful/well-known than her while the cult back home is slowly dwindling in power. what if the sopping wet crybaby younger sibling you tortured as a coping mechanism was at risk of getting cooler than you would that be fucked up or what.

furthermore i think cherie is like. conscious about the fact that she sucks and the heartbroken home sucks and thinks she's being Honest about it + brave in the face of the inherent misery that the world wreaks upon her for sucking. and she also thinks that alec is, like, not just lying and obscuring the fact that he sucks from the undersiders, but successfully being treated like he Doesn't suck as a result. which pisses her off and is, aside from thinking it's funny when he's miserable, why she tries to ~reveal the truth~ about him 2 the undersiders over the phone. this is funny because alec also thinks he's being honest about the fact that he sucks and in fact considers it one of his strong points.

but anyway yeah i think shes fixated with being able to like. drag him back down to what she perceives as their shared level + reestablish control over him bc him being free and successful while genuinely improving himself as a person puts fundamental cracks in her worldview.

all of which is to say in the beautiful hypothetical world where she gets drudged up from the ocean and riley and amy awkwardly put her back together she finds out alec died doing smth good 4 aisha and she doesn't fucking like it. because he's beyond her reach in two ways forever now. first of all he's dead. second of all he died doing something uncomplicatedly caring and self-sacrificing for a friend which means the undersiders permanently remember him as a fucked up kid they knew back when they were all fucked up kids who ultimately Tried and went out being the best person he could be. which means she can't drag him back down to her level and reassert her worldview by making him miserable Or by changing ppls opinions of him. even insinuates that what She thought about him might have been wrong. and aisha laborn, the person he died for, who is now taking care of all of the heartbroken, who still remembers alec deeply fondly, is naturally where her Weird Psychological Fixation transfers next. also worth noting that THE FUCKING WORLD ENDED while she was down there and the s9 is Over so cherie is just. utterly irrelevant everybody forgor about her. she doesn't even get to feed off ppls hatred, no "negative attention is still attention" for her, she just gets drudged up and is expected 2 move on with her life. which is to say she immediately clings onto the one remnant of the world she knew, the one place where she can still claw for relevancy w/ ppl who would know her, and starts emailing aisha "can't make a banaisha split without a cherie on top" 200 times in a single evening. and aisha doesnt care at all cherie is going fucking nuts over this whole thing and aisha is just over there mentally writing this weeks grocery list in her head

#worm spoilers #scarf don't look #parahumans #myv ision. #edited for timeline correctness due to peer review

[diviinaee]

HHAHAHAHAHAHA OK SO THAT QUINN AUDIO WAS SEVERE HEALING FOR ME

obvi spoilers for Facing Your Cruel Vampire Ex

DAMN THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING BRO

first off i imagine at the beginning darlin is on a lil patio/balcony of the department, looking over the horizon, thinking about how they could ever hurt quinn in the way he hurt them

SAM COMING IN WITH THE FUCKING COMFORT WE ALL NEED I FUCKING LOVE HIM

the way he asked if they truly want to do this.

(ignore philosophy div for opening her mouth):

Is it truly you who wants revenge, or is it the angry, young, broken part of you, just wanting closure?

AND THAT I SAY BOTH BITCH. Who says closure can't be beating the shit out of an abuser? 😻🫶🏽‼️

ALSO DAVID SLAYED THESE PAST FEW VIDS. LIKE YUH BRIBE THE GOVERNMENT ‼️‼️

thank FUCK that mf is magically bound AND has his core muted bc istg if he would've tranced them i think i wouldve needed a lobotomy to process that /hj

ight so.

his nickname for them still IRKS me

again. DID ERIK CONTACT MY EX FOR THIS DIALOUGE CAUSE OUUCH.

"I'd hate to think my favorite thrall was hurting, at least in a way they didn't ask for." - THE GASLIGHTING AND VICTIM BLAMING IS FUCKING ATROCIOUS

idgaf if it's pathetic to fight someone who can't fight back bc its pathetic to hurt others to make yourself seem stronger 🫡

OH OKAY.

"Even after years and miles apart, short-temper, volatile nature, a fury inside that you desperately throw to any direction to keep it from pointing inward again. I guess now that you can't use my fangs to punish yourself and your new toy won't use his, you've had to find other ways to work through your pain. Apparently by putting it on others. How articulate of you."

CAN I TALK MY SHIT AGAIN?

QUINN IS OUTWARDLY VICTIM-BLAMING THIS POOR WOLF LITERALLY EVERY MINUTE THAT HIS MOUTH OPENS.

What he is saying is that Darlin' is the true mastermind here. He thinks that claiming that they consented to everything suddenly makes him the victim in their want for vengeance. He even plainly states it in this quote:

"I never did a single thing to you, that you didn't ask for first. [...] I'm not absolving myself of anything Precious. Believe me, I am intimately aware of everything I've ever done to other people. I have more than my fair share of sins. I delight in them. But when comes to you, everything I ever did was at YOUR request."

He is ultimately saying, "Hey I'm not the bad guy because YOU wanted it." He physically harms them during sex and spins it off as an act of self-harm on THEIR part and is using it to emotionally hurt and shame them. NOT TO MENTION, he is deliberately excusing the emotional hurt he also caused during their relationship by making it seem like they consented to that as well. SO. I need all of you to see remember the FIRST EVER SOLO SAM VIDEO.

They are a lone wolf who is hunting Quinn because of the pain that he caused SOMEONE ELSE. HE attacked their friend and they want revenge for that friend. While yes, at some point that revenge became for them as well, Quinn misses the fact that this whole journey of being hunted by Darlin' was because he hurt OTHER people. But that doesn't excuse his reasoning for his behavior in his role in their relationship.

ANYONE. (with a sane mind at least) WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT.

Sure. Let's say that Darlin' WAS a troubled person who asked for pain throughout the relationship. People have kinks. Whatever. BUT, at some point, (if Quinn was sane) he would have asked why Darlin' asks for some much pain. THEN he would have found out that Darlin' felt as though they deserved it, and then he would've told them that they didn't. BECAUSE THAT'S HEALTHY COMMUNICATION. INSTEAD, Quinn sees this broken soul who is "consenting" to pain so that he was an excuse to unleash that pain. It truly is giving, "Hey I warned you so now you can't complain."

wow that was alot for me to just do that section of the video.

ANYWAY.

SLAY QUINN GOT MAD. STAY MAD YOU ASSHOLE.

THIS. QUINN SCREAMING AT THEM TO COME BACK.

HE KNOWS. He knows his effect on them is slipping. He knows they're healing. He is actively trying to make them believe that they are nothing but their time with him. HE KNOWS ALL OF IT. Trust me. I've seen an abuser's reaction to the victim's healing. IT IS LITERALLY THIS. They get so mad that their effect is no longer working. That they can't have someone under them anymore. IT MAKES THEM FEEL WEAK. Quinn truly overestimated himself BECAUSE of the fact that he counted on Darlin's mind. He relied on the idea that they would forever be haunted by him.

OK THATS ENOUGH OF PHILOSOPHY AND PSYCHOLOGY STUDENT DIV NOW MOVING ONTO CHEERLEADER DIV

WOOOOOOO SAM GOT HIS PUNCHES IN LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

HE PUNCH FOR FRED. FOR BRIGHT EYES. FOR HIMM

also are we gonna ignore thats the first time that bright eyes was mentioned in a LOOOOONG TIME. CAUSE IM NOT. IM GONNA GO BATSHIT CRAZY OVER IT.

we love beating up abusive people. it should be normalized.

thank god for vampiric laws. WE GON WATCH THAT MF DIIEEEEE

LET IT DIE LET IT DIE LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIEEEEEE.

anyway anyone catch the fact that the "trip" David is planning is probably HBS.

THANK GOD JUNE IS HERE NOW BC I DON'T THINK I COULD TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS CANON ANGST.

also if anyone ends up asking me if i'm okay i'm gonna laugh cause I wrote some of this on a hospital bed LMFAOOOHDVBHDF

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted darlin #redacted quinn #redacted shaw pack #redacted sam #redacted david

[bittersweetresilience]

Adrien Agreste and Borderline Personality Disorder

DISCLAIMER: I've been a bit low on spoons this week, so I haven't gathered as much evidence as I probably could have. Also, I am but a humble student in clinical psychology. This is mainly a thought compilation for @moonieratty!

To introduce the topic, without going into it too much, personality is described by features and behavioral patterns, or traits, consistent across situations and across time. Personality disorders are therefore enduring patterns of highly maladaptive traits evaluated in personal and sociocultural context (Dozois, 2019, p. 290).

Like other disorders, personality disorders have diagnostic criteria. The DSM is used primarily for diagnosis in the US and Canada while the ICD is used more widely in Europe and other places. I'm more familiar with the DSM, but I've included a brief section on the ICD to be comprehensive. It ended up a bit longer than anticipated, so let's go below the cut. Warning for discussions of abuse, self harm, and suicide, and a brief mention of substance use.

Overview of Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD is prevalent in a small percentage of the population, about 1-2% by varying estimates, and is characterized by instability across domains of emotions, identity, interpersonal relationships, and behavior. Its onset is usually in late adolescence or early adulthood and symptoms may diminish with age, after one's thirties or forties, especially with therapeutic intervention. Along with ASPD, it has been the focus of a lot of clinical research; it is unfortunately associated with high rates of non-suicidal self-injury and suicide (APA, 2022, pp. 754–755; Dozois, 2019, pp. 308–309).

Etiological factors for BPD include both biological and environmental disturbances. Of note to our discussion is the heightened risk for BPD in cases of child abuse or neglect, as well as growing up with another family member with a serious mental health condition (NHS, 2022). It's been well established that Gabriel is emotionally neglectful if not outright abusive toward Adrien in multiple ways, so this is a clear risk factor. In addition, although I won't argue definitively for Gabriel having a psychological condition, he did keep Emilie's body in the basement, so there is clearly some kind of disturbance going on.

From a cognitive-behavioral perspective, Linehan argues that BPD stems from families who consistently invalidate childhood emotional experiences and "oversimplify the ease with which life's problems can be solved," which may cause children to learn to seek attention and communicate with others through emotional outbursts (Dozois, 2019, p. 297). This rings true for Adrien and Gabriel as well.

I have to apologize for my son, Ladybug, he's like his mother. Way too overly dramatic. (Jackady)

It doesn't seem like this is the first time Gabriel has thought this, and labeling an emotional reaction as being overly dramatic is very much invalidation of it. As for emotional outbursts, Adrien has had quite a few, mostly as Chat Noir. More on this later.

To round out this first section, attachment theory proposes a connection between poor parent-child attachments and BPD relationship difficulties. Specifically, maladaptive behavior in relationships may stem from childhood development of an anxious-ambivalent attachment style, where intense fears of abandonment interfere with a strong desire for intimacy (Dozois, 2019, p. 310). You can clearly see this in Chat Noir's relationship with Ladybug, and I'm sure other people have discussed Adrien's attachment style more in depth, but suffice to say I think this is an apt description.

Argument from DSM-5-TR

In the DSM, personality disorders are primarily diagnosed on a categorical model. There are a few general criteria which I won't be going into, but I will highlight that personality disorders are stable and pervasive, and would be diagnosed only if they were leading to significant distress or dysfunction. Adrien's mental state is not great, so the latter shouldn't be a problem, but this show does not always pay attention to consistency, so I'm going to be speculating some. Everything in this section is cited to the relevant DSM entry unless otherwise stated.

The DSM characterizes BPD with instability in relationships, self image, and affects, as well as marked impulsivity. It has no exclusion criteria, so BPD can be and frequently is comorbid with other disorders like mood disorders, PTSD, and ADHD. Of the below criteria, five need to be met in order for a diagnosis to be made.

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Hey, where're you going? . . . So you're allowed to know her true identity, but I'm not? (Syren)

You're not really replacing me with a turtle, are you? (Anansi)

A lot of people have delved into Adrien's abandonment issues, which feature most prominently in his relationship with Ladybug. His fears of being replaced result in him seeking reassurance from Ladybug, and he can lash out if he does not receive the response he hopes for. Ladybug is his world, and he wants to be hers, so anything infringing on that feels to him like a threat of being abandoned, and he does not like it very much.

Impulsive behaviors like giving up his ring can be interpreted under this lens: he can avoid abandonment by doing the abandoning first. Then it will be him leaving, and not the other way around.

I also interpret Adrien's nightmare (Le Marchand de Sable) as being a fear of being alone as much as it is a fear of being trapped.

Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

We'll be united, more powerful and free. We'll defeat Hawk Moth, then we can both run away to an island! Far away from everything. We will live off nothing but fruits, and we will have a little pet hamster and we will name it— (Le Patineur)

I just can't do this anymore. I give up… on everything. Even you . . . If I become Chat Noir again, Ladybug will just end up rejecting me, over and over. (Kuro Neko)

Even though Adrien mostly keeps his head on straight regarding what he's owed and not owed by other people, his relationship with Ladybug is full of highs and lows. He thinks Ladybug is the most amazing girl, but this can recoil quickly into feeling as though Ladybug doesn't care about him enough or isn't meeting his needs.

Furthermore, he developed this idealization of Ladybug as a potential lover or caregiver at one of their first meetings (Cœur de Pierre), and continually sought to spend time together and share the intimate details of their secret identities early on. These are all common to individuals with BPD, as is the switch from idealization to feeling as if the other person "does not care enough, does not give enough, or is not 'there' enough." Ladybug is the only person Adrien consistently projects this instability and intensity on, which might be something interesting to explore.

Identity disturbance: unstable self image or sense of self

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be what my parents wanted me to be! (Exauceur)

But, does that mean Chat Noir is who I really am? Deep down inside? (Kuro Neko)

With all the secret identities, it isn't surprising that Adrien fits this criterion, but canon even explicitly draws a link between Adrien's unstable sense of self and his childhood experiences. He doesn't know who he is, and he distracts from this by being Chat Noir, only to struggle even more when he feels useless and underlooked as his hero self. His behavior shifts dramatically between trying to prove himself with grand gestures and refusing to participate or lashing out. There is definitely something to discuss on this front.

Impulsivity in at least two potentially self-damaging areas

Giving you some extra time . . . I trust you to bring me back, m'lady. (Gamer 2.0)

There are only two liars left in Paris and one of them knows the ultimate way to catch her attention . . . Crazy about you, m'lady. (Mensonge)

This is walking a thin line between impulsivity and suicidal behavior, which would be excluded from this criterion, but I'll list self sacrifice here because I can see an argument for Chat Noir's impulsive behaviors being out of love or the desire to be useful. There may still be some self injurious intent or euphoria, but Chat Noir does have faith in Ladybug to bring him back eventually. Nevertheless, this is impulsive and unhealthy. Chat Noir jumps too quickly to this option to have thought it through.

I can't think of another area, because Adrien isn't old enough for reckless driving, spending, substance use, or sex. This is also a kids' show. Just presenting these options for fanfiction writers out there.

Recurrent suicidal or self mutilating behavior, gestures, or threats

I... I don't know what to do! (Chat Blanc)

This is all our fault . . . Cataclysm. (Culpabysse)

By itself, what happened in Chat Blanc would not be solid evidence, as that was an unprecedentedly traumatic situation. Combined with Culpabysse, though, there is a strong case to be made for at least passive suicidality for this to be able to come up as an option.

You could also interpret the self sacrifice in this category. Suicidal behavior in individuals with BPD is often preempted by fears of rejection or abandonment, so an interesting analysis could be made on this front.

Affective instability due to marked reactivity of mood

He's still only thinking of himself! I just want this terrible day to be over and done with! I hate Christmas! (Pire Noël)

Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to make you so mad. I get it. You're sick of me . . . No one can help me, Kagami. (Glaciator 2)

Adrien's prolonged episodes of anger and despair reflect a high reactivity to emotional stressors, especially interpersonal ones. In general, he just doesn't feel very well unless something is actively bringing him joy. Most of his outbursts are brief, though, and I will discuss them as part of a later criterion.

Chronic feelings of emptiness

I'm not Adrien, so I wouldn't know if this is the case, but I can say he has experienced at least one depressive episode (Kuro Neko) and emptiness would not be unfamiliar. You can look at him and decide.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

How was your amazing evening with your "friends"? . . . What do you think? (Glaciator)

Why not? No one'll know if I quit. No one'll care! (Syren)

A two-person plan?! There's only one two-person plan, and that's Ladybug and me! (Sentibulleur)

Give me a break, Miss "I can't even come up with a superhero name"! (Hack-San)

Anger in individuals with BPD can manifest as bitterness, sarcasm, or recurrent verbal outbursts, which Chat Noir absolutely exemplifies. These outbursts are often followed by feelings of shame or guilt and contribute to a feeling of being bad. Chat Noir apologizes after being harsh in Glaciator, and I wouldn't be surprised if he felt badly about the other times. Again, these outbursts are often precipitated by interpersonal fears and perceived threats of abandonment. Unlike other symptoms, this specific one tends to be unique to BPD.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociation

I cannot recall any evidence for this but headcanon away, my friends.

All in all, I think Adrien has a strong case for BPD presentation according to the DSM. Canon is not always consistent, but I think it presents an interesting and mostly coherent narrative for this lens. From this perspective, Adrien's behavior reflects a deep intolerance of being alone and a dependence on other people to define the self.

As a corollary, BPD behavioral patterns are frequently linked to self sabotage and self undermining right when a goal is about to be realized, which could manifest as dropping out of school right before graduating or ending a relationship when it seems to be going well. Food for thought. Individuals with BPD may also feel more secure with transitional objects like pets than with interpersonal relationships, which could reflect in Adrien's relationship with Plagg.

To add some subjective understanding to this clinical mumbo jumbo, I've added a source of genuine BPD experiences below (Mind, 2022).

Argument from ICD-11

With the release of the ICD-11, a dimensional model for diagnosis of personality disorders became the new standard. What this means is that individuals are no longer labeled as having 'histrionic' or 'dependent' or, indeed, 'borderline' personality disorders, but are rather assessed as having any form of personality disorder on a sliding scale of severity and with trait domain specifiers (Swales, 2022). To put it more simply, people are diagnosed only with a general personality disorder or personality difficulty which can be optionally specified as deviating on one of the personality traits in the Big Five model, which is well established in personality psychology.

This move has several benefits. Stigmatization related to particular personality disorders can be reduced, and differential diagnosis and comorbidity between personality disorders becomes irrelevant. However, people retain access to treatment and support. Evidence-based treatments like dialectical behavior therapy are particularly well established and crucial for BPD; for this pragmatic purpose, the ICD contains one additional specifier for borderline pattern personality disorder (Bach et al., 2022; Swales, 2022).

The DSM and ICD are designed to be compatible with each other in many ways, and in this case, the borderline specifier in the ICD is directly lifted from the criterion of the DSM (WHO, 2023, 6D11.5). Based on our previous discussion, Adrien would be equally qualified for a diagnosis in France. I would likely describe his personality disorder with moderate severity, where multiple areas of functioning are affected and self harming behaviors may be present, but not all areas or relationships may be equally impacted and traits are not as rigid and inflexible (WHO, 2023, 6D10.0–6D10.2).

Interestingly, the ICD includes three additional manifestations of borderline pattern which are optional and may vary across time (WHO, 2023, 6D11.5).

A view of the self as inadequate, bad, guilty, disgusting, and contemptible

An experience of the self as profoundly different and isolated from other people; a painful sense of alienation and pervasive loneliness

Proneness to rejection hypersensitivity; problems in establishing and maintaining appropriate levels of trust in relationships; frequent misinterpretation of social signals

I'm fascinated by the number of adjectives in here. I simplified very slightly, as I did with the DSM criteria, but I had to keep all these adjectives. Anyway, I won't elaborate for too many more paragraphs, so let's say sentimonster moment and leave it at that. I will spare you my mirrored Félix essay. For now.

Qualifications and Limitations

First of all, Adrien is a teenager. The distinguishing factor between a personality disorder and regular adolescent difficulties would be longevity and identity concerns beyond his developmental phase (APA, 2022, p. 758). Second of all, Adrien has a uniquely terrible home life and magical problems. Some of his behaviors could be normal considering his experiences and sociocultural context, and this matters when it comes to psychological evaluation. Take everything with a grain of salt!

More generally, the categorical model of the DSM has several issues, not to mention diagnostic issues related to culture, gender, and stigma. Some but not all of these issues are addressed by the dimensional model it includes in a later section, which shares theoretical foundations with the model of personality disorders in the ICD. Even so, issues remain. Diagnosis, access to treatment, and political statements are intrinsically linked in complex ways. I won't get into all of the nuances, but be safe, remember this is a fictional character, and keep an open mind.

REFERENCES:

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787

Bach, B., Kramer, U., Doering, S., di Giacomo, E., Hutsebaut, J., Kaera, A., De Panfilis, C., Schmahl, C., Swales, M., Taubner, S., & Renneberg, B. (2022). The ICD-11 classification of personality disorders: A European perspective on challenges and opportunities. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 9(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-022-00182-0

Dozois, D. J. A. (2019). Abnormal psychology: Perspectives (6th ed.). Pearson.

Mind. (2022, September). What does BPD feel like? https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/experiences-of-bpd/

National Health Service. (2022, November 4). Causes - Borderline personality disorder. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/causes/

Swales, M. A. (2022). Personality disorder diagnoses in ICD-11: Transforming conceptualisations and practice. Clinical Psychology in Europe, 4(Special Issue). https://doi.org/10.32872/cpe.9635

World Health Organization. (2023). International statistical classification of diseases and related health problems (11th ed.). https://icd.who.int/

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #ml meta #don't worry i read through far more sources than listed here #it's just standard citation procedure to include only in-text references and not readings for general subject comprehension #🌃 #🌖 #i'm using a hybrid parenthetical citation model which i think is most efficient and informative so just note this down #i can't believe i referenced kuro neko three times... what an episode #ml simon says #ml syren #ml anansi #ml sandboy #ml frozer #ml kuro neko #ml stoneheart #ml wishmaker #ml gamer 2.0 #ml lies #ml chat blanc #ml guiltrip #ml santa claws #ml glaciator 2 #ml glaciator #ml sentibubbler #ml hack san

[captainofthetidesbreath]

There's something incredible and skillful on Travis' part about how little Nathaniel actually directly says about suspicions of institutional weaknesses in Candela and how in the conversation in the carriage, he doesn't really directly lodge any serious accusations against Candela—the others all do, and Marion even encourages Nathaniel to be less hesitant and hedging in his verbiage. Travis as Nathaniel bolded and italicized, just for highlighting:

BRENNAN: They told the kid she was dead? TRAVIS: Yes. BRENNAN: How sick do you got to be where you go, "Hey, we got to break it to the kid soft. Just tell them she's dead." LUIS: Right? I guess there's things worse than dead. I guess. Well, clearly we know there's things that are worse than dying, but. TRAVIS: I know there's an amount of trust we all have with this organization. We see what we're fighting against. We know what sort of evil there is in the world, not just the kind that we make. But-- LUIS: But they withhold a lot. TRAVIS: It feels that way. LUIS: It is that way. Would you have risked everything we did for what they explained was in that container? A creature that's used to get people high? That's all there is to that. ZEHRA: There-- Marion, if I may, there may be-- It's deeply disappointing to understand that money seems to move a lot of these organizations through the world. There may have been monetary gain that Candela was trying to prevent by stopping the androphage transfer. There are certain groups that would pay a great sum for it. All I'm saying is maybe Candela isn't immune to some of these capital gains. MARISHA: Well, look. Any institution, even an institution that stands up against institutions, well, I mean they're not immune from their own organizational flaws. However, I would still like to believe that out of all of the other capitalistic and governmental factions that rule our day-to-day lives that hopefully we're choosing the one lesser evil. TRAVIS: Ms. Monroe. Beatrix. You've been with the organization longer than any, and I've looped my men into this with a certain amount of trust. Have you ever seen anyone marked by bleed changed? Have you ever seen them made whole, amended? MARISHA: I tend to find sometimes the best route is to just keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. Oftentimes you'll learn far more than what people can tell you. We've all been touched by bleed, whether we want to accept that or not. No, I guess, to answer your question, not to, what it sounds, the severity of Allison's level was. But I would still like to believe that that's why we're fighting. You certainly had no problems standing up and calling out the organization to Mr. Kingsley. Which is a little bit surprising, I got to say, Nathaniel, for someone who's quite the institutional man himself. TRAVIS: Force of habit, I'm afraid. ZEHRA: Well, speaking of Mr. Kingsley, what did he mean when he said it was someone above his head who made the decision to tell Lucas, was it, the boy? TRAVIS: Lucas. ZEHRA: That his mother was dead? Someone above a Lightkeeper's head. LUIS: Everybody answers to somebody else. BRENNAN: I don't know if that's true. I guess there's got to be a few people don't answer to anybody.

Generally, the way Travis handles Nathaniel's exposition in the carriage is blisteringly efficient on an informational and emotional level without ever feeling heavy-handed, but I think this sowing seeds of doubt in an institution (which seems to be a major theme in this chapter) is very skillful in its subtlety. Given that he's emotionally close to this incident and is a character conceptualized around corruptions and abuses of power, Nathaniel is unexpectedly spare in this sequence of exchanges, most significantly only delivering a set-up and pulling Beatrix in. He interestingly takes more of a listening role in this sequence, despite the fact that he is delivering almost all information and doing most of the thematic set-up.

His accusations are few and the ones he makes are mild and hesitant. The most he directly says is an interrupted "but" that leaves a hanging implication. But that tiny crack drives everyone else to start speculating about the whys and hows and whats of what is going on, and it feels very natural and is very skillful. Nathaniel clearly has his doubts and his experiences and doubts are the center of this conversation, but by holding off on actually voicing them directly, it gives everyone else space to guess at where he's going and leaves it open for others to contribute.

It's really skillful work as a player and a scene partner, especially as someone who is setting up the episode's plot and seeding what feels like may be one of the major themes of this chapter about institutional distrust and power and capital.

#Candela Obscura #Candela things #Candela spoilers #long post for ts #Circle of Needle and Thread