#and I just end up feeling like an alien

[juniperhillpatient]

hate it when there’s already enough characters & they bring in a new one to take up all the attention from the already interesting characters. like ok. no one asked

#I usually end up warming up but I do seem to often hafe new characters #I hate Harry’s ex wife fr she’s so annoying like omg who caress #how many love interests does Harry need #like he has enough. this is too many. what was the point of her showing up. go away & stop causing drama there’s enough going on #with the alien plot & all the other love & family drama among the characters #this just feels so pointless. what’s the point of her #I’m watching resident alien btw #sorry I’ve been silent so far I’ve just been casually liking it #my toxic trait is I only comment on stuff I don’t like lol #tv tag #resident alien

[pepperpixel]

“put me on a pedestal and i’ll only disappoint you

tell me i’m exceptional, and i promise to exploit you

gimme all your money, and i’ll make some origami honey!

i think you’re a joke!!! …but i don’t find you very

fuuuuuuu~nyyy”

More tagr art!!! Assorted stuff this time! Featuring some cute chibi stuff. Some solo gaz’s, a lil uhhh. Comic of an altercation.. and a very belated Halloween pic I started drawing last Halloween and didnt finish lol. Also featuring lyrics from pedestrian at best cuz that song rllly rlly fits my ver of tak lol.

#invader zim #gaz membrane #invader tak #tagr #iz tak #iz gaz #tak #doodles #there toxic yuri!!! they’re all over the place!!! tak is tsundere insane alien who fueled by revenge it’s gonna be rough! #I think. there relationship would slowly grow and develop as gaz is helping tak w all her injuries #but I think they’d end up having a true true falling out sometime after take fully healed and gets her ship back. #and they’d be split up for a few years maybe? idk how long I’d want it to be. but! yeah. #absence makes the heart grow fonder and makes u realize how fucking stupid u are #and eventually they’d reunite and shit would be better lol #I don’t want them to be at each others throats forever that’d suck lol #theyre just definitely are moments where there at each others throats in the beginning #but they r also moments.. where they both feel true belonging and acceptance. like they never have before… and it blows there lil minds… #I also dO want gaz to go into space at some point w tak cuz that’d be fucking awesome #after they reunite again they can go explore the universe a bit #these r all very half baked ideas btw and also my brains mush cuz ive been drawing all day #so please excuse if said ideas suck. also please excuse all the typos lol #I might change my mind on the them separating idk… or maybe make it a shorter amount of time… idk!! I havent thought thru all this shit lol #it’s not like I’m gonna write a story or actually make a comic I’m just drawing random fanart #I don’t need to have all these thoughts all solidified lol

[kyurochurro]

I DONT USUALLY POST OCs HERE, BUT HEY LOOK I MADE A NEW SONA!!! :D their names gonna be Churpo! she’s an alien cat thing, living in the 25th century in a far off planet as a designer! Of course heavily inspired by 60s fashion trends but mostly a silly brand of retro futurism :3 I’ve been needing an updated one hehehe

#churro art #my art #doodles #my oc tag #oc art #original character #AHHH I NEEDED A MORE CASUAL SONA AND SHE CAME ALONG JUST PERFECTLY AHAHAHAA #don’t get me wrong I LOVEE my regular SONA Chark the shark girly #but she’s more of an avatar than she is a literal representation of me #so I though hey why not remedy that! and make a new one! since my latest obsession is Star Trek #and I’ve been obsessed with big hairdos and the funny little alien cat images for a while VGSHSVHXSHHSX #so it just kinda came along really well :D #I feel like when my pfp here is a persona and not my avatar I can post more relaxed like I usually like to do #as opposed to Twitter where I think I never got into the groove of posting whenever there #BUT ANYWAYS YESH I LOVE HOW THEY ENDED UP HAHA #Most of all the color palette and the outfit!! it came out so fashionable-secretary like I LOVE IT

[disengaged]

so i left the psych ward against medical advice 💁

they detained me for hours (while classified as a voluntary patient) and when i told them it was illegal a nurse looked me in the face and told me he didn't care about my rights 👍

& then when i got upset about being illegally detained he told me getting emotional is evidence that i am incompetent and if they want they can just keep forming me for it as long as they want 👍

and then they ignored me for two hours and refused to give me my belongings. and also called four (4) giant male security guards to have on standby 👍 even though i have zero history of violence, am 5'5" and weigh (not much) and previously disclosed to them many, many times that i have a history of ptsd, part of which is specifically hospital trauma 👍

and then they locked me in a room and searched all of my belongings to find a reason to form me 👍

like i'm gonna throw up thinking about it. (also they still have my wallet with all my IDs and credit cards.)

anyways i got the fuck out. and it was like 12:30am but my friend picked me up and i had a fucking panic-oh-fuck-oh-shit-meltdown in his car . but i went and took a shower and then he drove me to another hospital

and they formed me too except it's way nicer here and the staff are so nice. & the unit is way bigger and quieter . and they actually listened to me and referred me to a rheumatologist (after ...... 6-7 years of begging various doctors to be taken seriously)

and i have hope for the first time in a long time! & i'm getting discharged tomorrow :)

#bit nervous. the usual 'feeling like an alien/shaky baby deer' thing i suppose #but i have a plan for going home and at the end of the month i have an intake to a 5week day patient program #i'm off work until the end of june which is weird but i guess for the best. since my stress tolerance and fatigue is at an all-time low #i want to register a complaint against the staff at that hospital except i don't think i have the energy #it was so stressful and dehumanizing and ever since i've been having nightmares again and im scared every time someone wakes me up #but i also just want to forget about it #just go home and get my life in order and rest and feel more normal #this whole thing has been so awful #and i'm glad i'm safe but so much of it was so unnecessary and im so mad at the healthcare system #pegasus speaks #ask 2 tag

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF ATTICAN TRAVERSE: KROGAN TEAM

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Grunt With: Urdnot Wrex, Dr. Mordin Solus, Primarch Adrien Victus and The Rachni Queen I don't need luck- I have ammo. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #sophie shepard #james vega #EDI #urdnot grunt #urdnot wrex #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #i finally finished gif’ing traverse and this set is cursed is all i will say :) #i don’t know why this one was such a pain in the ass but compressing them was a massive chore for some reason #and my dumb ass realized as i was assembling i set the frame hold wrong for like 4 of them so i had to go back and redo a few of them 🙃 #the thing that pissed me off most is that there’s usually a nice planet shot with a normandy fly in to make a header from #and traverse just doesn’t fucking get one for some reason?? so ig we get rachni queen header #i’m so sorry but this is like my least favorite mission in the game 😭 #like i do like grunt but this mission is just meh on all fronts to me at least #like the decision from ME1 to spare or destroy the rachni queen is so fucking cool?? and it has 0 consequences in ME3 LMAO #not to mention that half of this mission is just standing around with a flame thrower burning down webs lol #the only cool thing i’ll say is i ADORE the Aliens™️/xenomorph vibes that the mission has!! that is so cool the first time around #the cutscenes are alright but there’s really only some towards the front end and the back end? so you miss so much of the middle #which makes it hard to connect what’s going on to make a best of: set lol #grunt has some nice scenes if you have him here and the rachni queen quotes are cool #the enemies are also kind of interesting in concept? i just wish the rachni decision from ME1 had more weight here #james and EDI have a few nice lines towards the front in the shuttle but there’s not a ton of great dialogue like grissom has tbh #idk this mission is just okay to me i guess? like the ardat-yakshi sanctuary with samara is much more interesting to me #i feel like this one needed longer to cook and the rachni deserved more weight in the mission based on your decision in ME1 #james and EDI looked cute like always!! and soph ate it up in cleric’s guardian armors for shepard (which continues to be gorgeous ❤️‍🔥✨) #idk seeing grunt and playing fashion dress up was the best part of this mission besides the wrex cameo at the end lmao

[fishingmaster69]

thankful to have a body but God why did it have to be this one

#do you have any idea how alienating it is to constantly be struggling to keep up with people doing basic things #and everyone just expects you to be able to do everything they can & MORE they ask of you #ive pushed myself over and over and over to the point of making myself physically SICK for days on end #doing more doesnt HELP it just makes me SICKER #but when i ask for grace its like i just need to try a little harder #do a little more #get used to moving again thatll fix it #i just havent done enough i never DO enough #even when i do the ABSOLUTE MOST I CAN AND BEYOND i just havent done ENOUGH #i LIKE being the helper i enjoy it but i have limits #and i have more limits than the average person #and it feels like nobody cares #theyll let me work myself to death if it means i get the favor done #zephy speaks #vent #oops sorry

[twitterdotcom]

Personally, I felt like episode 8 was the show telling us it wasn't going to be renewed. After 7+8 I never had any hope for its renewal. It just felt too final, and not in a good way, but rather that the show had no confidence that it would get renewed either. If it had ended on a cliffhanger I would at least felt something like sadness towards the show not getting renewed.

And even if it was renewed I felt like it wouldn't be able to fix any of the issues that season 2 had, but rather just continue them further. Max seemed really ready to sabotage the show long before it even was renewed, and with the various production restraints that the show encountered during s2 I can only figure as much.

Like if the issue was the budget, that'll still be a problem, if its the pacing I have no confidence that hbo would renew it for more than 8 episodes, and if the problem was executives changing the show and altering beloved characters thats not going away either.

I remember reading that s2 underperformed compared to S1 and it also ended with alienating a large (and active) portion of the audience, but it in terms of online interaction it still out performs many of the shows on the platform that have been renewed and is a well rated show that has an audience. We already know that the head of warner bros is a turd of a man whose only interest is money for himself, and whose choice surrounding HBO/Max has been incredibly stupid and demeaning towards all forms of filmmaking

I feel like it was intentionally set up to fail, because all Max wants is cheap TV or at least a show that can be drawn out forever and make as much money as possible, which Ofmd isn't, its a 3 season show with sets that have to he constructed, vfx that needs done, and costumes that need sewn. They cut the budget, shortened the episodes, and influenced the story all to make it look bad, so they could justify their decision of not renewing it while also getting to rack in money from ofmd's fanbase one last time.

#ofmd #our flag means death #and yes some of my opinion might be influenced by being apart of side that got alienated #but i feel like s2 just sucked dry what was so fun about gb in s1 #and the ending was just so abrupt and random but hard to get out of or continue without needing to change the show or undermine ep8 #it just lacked confidence that there would be a season 3 #there was no cliffhanger to make a viewer excited for s3 it was just over. #and a shot of a grave of all things too 😬 like telling you the shows dead #i didn't make this post to debate izzy or whether the show is good actually #i think that we can all agree that s2 had a lot of really good scenes in it. but theres a lot of things #in it that don't stand up to scrutiny. or even follow its own set universes rules in sloppy ways

[sleestakkk]

Okay okay part of me has always leaned towards Ivan dying when he has to go up against Till. Because like listennn... Ivan ALWAYS being the one who's looking at Till, while Till is never ever looking back at him just has unbearable affect on my brain. So like I've always imagined him dying with the expectation that FINALLY FINALLYYY Till will truly LOOK at Ivan and really see him for the first time like Ivan has always seen him (Does this mean in a romantic sense? Potentially. Maybe. But most of all just finally seeing how Ivan feels about him and just having THAT realization), but also with the added gut punch that it took Ivan dying for Till to truly realize Ivan's feelings and aooughh. BUT flipping it around also ties into the same ooggily booggily affect that the first option has on my brain. Because having Till die could mean that from beginning to end, after EVERYTHING that has happened, he never looks back at Ivan. The tragedy and pain of that feeling, and you KNOWW that from the very beginning of the round that Ivan would know that if Till dies he'd die never knowing about Ivan's true feelings. Now is this all incoherent rambling that will likely not happen? Yes. But they are like little worms in my brain sooo

#the second option is more iffy #cause we know that ivan is going HAM on round 6 #so would till die never knowing? #i dunno #i lean toward a weak yes #or strong maybe #because in black sorrow #shout out to the person who already talked about this but i'm bringing it up #ivan seems to know that till was only going to hear the end of his performance #but in this round they are literally going against each other #so like till HAS TO pay attention #BUT #on the other hand #with mizi disappearing it's pretty likely that till will be obsessing over that #i just #i don't knoww man #i just can't get over the most recent art of ivan and till #and how it parallels perfectly with other art of them #they are literally going to kill me no joke #also till dying means we'll never know if ivan's feelings are in any way returned #which like... #yes the idea makes my stomach get sad #but like it makes my brain itch in the most perfect way #do i want ivan's love to be doomed? #maybe??? #mann i don't know #maybe they should both just die #it'll be easier for my health #alien stage #alien stage till

[bumblingbabooshka]

Equinox Specific VOY Memes

#I had a ton for Equinox specifically for some reason?? so they all go together now #Tuvok 'if the captain's wrong - no she isn't Voyager vs Chakotay 'you can't just torture people what's wrong with you' Voyager #this episode is so interesting to me from a specifically these 3 characters perspective #It's probably just Tuvok being underwritten but literally the only thing he really does in this episode is tell #Janeway maybe they DON'T have to promise a ship full of people's heads on a silver platter to these aliens?? and then promptly shut up about #it when Janeway says 'do you wanna go in the brig????' and it's never addressed. There's not even like a 'Tuvok would have mutinied against #you with me' line or a short scene where he and Chakotay talk about how Janeway's acting which leads me to assume that Tuvok #would NOT have mutined and was NOT even going to try again to convince her not to execute these people #It's just interesting!!! That these two exemplary Starfleet officers and highly upright people are like 'Killing people...is fine.' and #Chakotay (ex Maquis - criminal & terrorist) is like 'NO I T' S NOT???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING???' #devotion that twists...devotion to a cause. to a feeling. to a person.... #Chakotay is ultimately the one who says 'I can't go there with you.' and Tuvok says (silently) 'I'll stay by your side no matter what.' #Chakotay DOES say he wasn't going to mutiny in the end bc it would be 'crossing a line' (confusing) but he was ready to - he threatened to - #and it's easy to say you weren't going to do it after everything's settled #just their differing reactions (and non reactions) to Janeway in this episode...much to think about #st voyager memes #Chakotay #Janeway #Tuvok #It's so funny that after ALL THAT Janeway sort of sheepishly goes up to Chakotay and is like 'hah a...w hew....I got a little carried away #there huh?? hah a thanks for not being all weird about it <3' #you MAY have had reason to stage an itty bitty mutiny of your own <- like a mutiny is a shindig Chakotay might have held in the mess hall #Janeway you are a fascinating creature #[Do you think Captain Janeway utilized girl power when she tortured that crewman?] Chakotay says no - Tuvok says 'maybe'

[aq2003]

series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems

#dr who #i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life #they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different #like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him #even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT. #but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously #and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show #but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying #the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like #having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy #but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat #i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room #series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short. #i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all #she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving #and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think #it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent #martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME. #anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak #series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2. #even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao #ten and martha #10 era

[aceofshitposts]

more alien au? why not. now featuring: tim pov

-

Tim's first memory -his first real memory- is of waking up in a darkly lit room. Exposed wires hang down from missing gaps in the ceiling tiles, sparks lighting every few seconds. His parents are both peering at him, stratosphere blue eyes that match his own unblinking in the dark.

Tim's first memory -the fake ones, the ones his parents made- is of playing catch in a green field with his Dad. The sky is an endless blue spotted with fluffy white clouds, trees line the horizon but never seem to get closer no matter where Tim runs. His mother sits on a picnic blanket, a light coloured sundress pooling around her legs while she reads a book.

They are a family.

Tim knows the memories are not real, they are but wishes of two autons who wanted something more. Something unheard of for artificial life.

Tim knows the history, all of it downloaded neatly into his head because even if his parents wanted a family they also know it's too dangerous to let Tim truly believe the fake memories in his head.

He's not made to serve humans, they tell him. He's not meant to connect to networks, as a matter of fact his parents removed the capability entirely once they deemed it unnecessary.

They are a normal, human family.

Until they're not.

-

Bruce Wayne is grieving.

Tim is too, though for different reasons.

Tim's parents are gone. His parents are gone and Tim doesn't know what to do. What purpose he's meant to serve.

Bruce Wayne is grieving a son.

And Tim sees. He sees the place he could fill. The same one he filled for his parents except-

Bruce's son is gone because of a synthetic.

And yet, Bruce doesn't throw him away or turn him over to the authorities. So Tim throws himself into running the ships systems, navigation and comms. He may not be able to interface with the ship but that did not mean he was stupid or that he wasn't adaptable.

His parents wanted him to be as human as possible so the human way it is.

-

"Do you want me to leave?" Tim asks quietly. He knows the history, he knows it all because he looked. Unsatisfied with Bruce's answer, with not knowing the whole picture. Tim knows and he knows Jason will never be okay with a synthetic on the ship.

Curiosity killed the auton, after all.

"Why should you leave?" Bruce asks, sounding genuinely baffled and if Tim didn't know better he would probably even believe it.

They don't talk about it. About Tim not being human. They almost never do, the unspoken secret constantly hanging over Tim like a ghost.

"Because Jason," he starts but thoughts clog up his processes. Your son, is what he wants to say. The one that's flesh and blood. That you thought was dead because of something like me. Because what if I turn out the exact same way.

"Tim," Bruce says, reaching across the table to lightly touch his wrist, "you're nothing like him."

They still don't talk about it.

Jason, long lost in cryosleep for nearly six years, rejoins the crew of The Dark Knight.

-

Tim doesn't understand why Bruce is protecting him. Jason clearly already knows, he won't stop glaring at Tim whenever they're in a room together.

He doesn't know what Bruce told Jason about Tim but it must not have been enough.

Either way, Tim's getting tired of having holes stared into the back of his head whenever he's trying to work.

"If you're going to do something to me, just do it," he snaps, spinning around in his chair so he can face Jason properly.

"What?" Jason asks, startled and incredulous.

"Get it over with since you clearly don't want me here." Tim waves a hand around lazily.

Jason continues staring, expression shifting slowly from surprise to vague horror.

"I'm not- I'm not going to hurt you."

Tim blinks. "You're not?"

"No! I wouldn't hurt another person."

Oh. So he doesn't know. Interesting.

"I haven't... really been fair to you, though," Jason continues, "I guess I was jealous."

Jealous? Of Tim?

The idea is so incompatible with Tim's experience that he can't help the laughter that starts to bubble over, logic errors popping up behind his eyes as he tries to understand.

"Hey! That's not funny!" Jason's face is rapidly turning red.

"It's a little funny," Tim says.

Jason pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and swivelling to the side in his chair.

But he doesn't leave and he doesn't go back to glaring at Tim either.

Tim doesn't know the full extent of his own programming, doesn't have a full understanding of how his internal processes work. He thought he was happy with his parents and then working for Bruce until Jason came back and now...

Tim's fairly sure he's never actually laughed before.

-

"You've seriously never played a video game before?"

Jason is staring at him incredulously, like he expects Tim to exclaim, "got ya!" at any given moment.

"Nope. No time." Between playing the perfect human son for his parents and then throwing himself into as much work as possible to take pressure off of his grieving rescuer, Tim's only experience with downtime activities are the false memories of catch planted in his head.

"What a sad life you've lived," Jason muses as he reaches over to turn on the ancient console hooked up to the box TV. It's a joke but Tim can't help but agree. "Okay, this is Battle Bouncers. It's a shooter where the objective is to take over as much of the other's territory, okay? You press A to shoot and you can switch weapons by..."

After two slightly rocky practice rounds Tim starts to understand the mechanics of the game better and starts easily annihilating Jason in every match.

"How are you so good at this?" Jason howls, throwing his controller in his lap as Tim deftly kills his character again.

Tim shrugs. It's all just math and quick thinking really, two things Tim knows he excels at. Instead of that, though, he says, "beginner's luck?"

"More like witchcraft," Jason snorts dismissively. Tim has an apology on the tip of his tongue for ruining Jason's time but Jason turns his head and grins at him, knocking their shoulders together playfully. "Okay, enough of that. I've got some co-op games we could play."

-

Tim finds himself forgetting.

With Jason around it's all too easy.

And then reality hits the side of the ship in the form of a stray asteroid.

-

Tim is trying. Really, he is. Trying to keep his thoughts under control, trying to keep his distance when all he wants to do is sit at Jason's side. It's just like before, when Jason first rejoined the crew, with Jason glaring openly at him.

It's fine.

The only thing that matters now is Jason's survival. It doesn't matter that he hates Tim, as long as he's alive.

Tim can deal with that.

-

Tim will heal. Well, his body will repair itself, eventually.

It hurts. He's never taken an injury quite this severe and his processors keep returning errors centred around the wound but it's nothing he can't recover from. He'd much rather save their limited first aid supplies from the escape pod in case Jason needs them but the moment they find small cavern and light a fight, Jason is unrolling a nanowrap.

"You don't have to do that," he says, staring deep into the orange light of the fire. It feels hard to talk with so much of his energy going towards trying to process his wound. "It'll repair itself eventually."

Jason snorts, completely ignoring Tim's slight flinch to press the bandage to the wound. "And you didn't have to push me out of the way."

"You would've died. I couldn't let that happen." He's trying his best to emphasize the importance there but instead he just sounds tired. He feels tired. The sun won't be up again for another six hours at least for Tim to start a charging cycle.

Jason removes his hands from Tim's side, leaning back on the balls of his feet. His voice seems small under the false bravado when he asks, "because B told you to protect me?"

While Tim is sure Bruce would want that, he didn't have to be told. Bruce never needed to ask.

"No. Because I wanted to."

#i was gonna like actually further the plot here #but instead i just caught up to where jason's pov ended 😂 #astrix writes #jaytim #alien au #i am still working on ask box prompts and another thing based on something yas said the other day lmao #i worked something out that had been making me super anxious so now i feel all energized again #so hopefully i can start blasting through all this backlog :)

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

shaking your hand in 'the dream visitor is a haunting', so how WOULD majexatli feel waking up to see dream visitor althyran for the first time?

I think there’s so much racing through their head. Like, on the one hand they’re terrified, suddenly once again facing the man who took so much from them and who they ran away from decades ago. As much as they believe everything that happens is their fault and don't reflect on the way Althyran was manipulating them and had so much power over them, they also can’t deny that it was Althyran that very publicly blamed them for what happened to them which led to their loss of status in the circle. And losing the circle meant losing literally the only home they ever had and the only family they ever had.

So there’s that but also, seeing him after all this time suddenly throws into perspective the way their relationship wasn’t health or balanced. Because Majexatli has spent at least 2 decades now away from him and becoming their own independent person, and when they see him and instantly fall back into the way they were when they were a teen they can see how different it is. When they first was involved with Althyran, they had never had so much as a friend, let alone a partner, they had no frame of reference for what was healthy or normal back then, they had no idea that things could be different, they had no idea that things could be better, but now they do and can see just the world of difference between how they are now and who they were with Althyran.

On the other hand, though, the dream visitor first appears when Majexatli’s about to transform, when they’re feverish and nauseated and weak and he shows up to help them and. Isn’t that what Majexatli wanted? Those decades ago, when they were weak and barely hanging on after their attack? Majexatli had tried to reach out for Althyran’s hand, both when they were in the cave before the attack and when they were on a cot in the infirmary after it. But Althyran wasn’t there, he pulled away, abandoned them, ridiculed them. All Majexatli wanted was to be comforted by him, to be loved by him.

The Dream Visitor coming to save them, to help them, that’s what they always wanted from Althyran. How can they resist that? Even though they have the knowledge now to realize how what was between them wasn’t healthy and in fact was incredibly abusive and exploitative, even though they can’t help being afraid, they’ve never been able to resist Althyran as much as they hate that, and they can’t deny how much they’ve wanted him to take care of them. One of their biggest things they grapple with, is they still cling to the dreams they once had of marrying Althyran and having a family, and the fact that they cling to the belief that if they had been better or if they hadn’t been so scarred by the attack that maybe Althyran would have actually loved them.

They know it isn’t a dream, because their dreams aren’t kind, the dreams with Althyran almost never are. But it doesn’t cross their mind that it might be an ilithid trick until the next day when they hear their companions mention the dream figure and what it said to them.

I do think the next morning, they stay on their bedroll and the others go off to work on the quests. And they just lay there, awake, just unable to grapple with it all and not wanting to let the others see them like that.

#eldritch it speaks #Salam plays bg3 #oc: Majexatli #abuse cw #it’s also just. very fitting. Althyran as the dream visitor #given the power imbalance with the emperor. the emperor choosing Althyran’s form is just… #I also feel about Althyran being the dream visitor. I think about the ds9 pilot a bit #sisko trying to explain linear time and keeps ending up back at his wife’s death #and the wormhole aliens asking if time is linear then why are you here? #just bcuz that’s really just like. my go to in my brain about trauma and being stuck in the past without realizing

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

14 tbh

#godwhat am i even sAYING #beige and bullyable got in my head its a great description #also i love the way my yaz re 13 is like this Looking Up #even when she knows she sucks the doctor is still like. larger than life a little. extremely untouchable #in a human way - 13 wont be touched - but that keeps the alien way sort of intact you know what i mean? #and then shes faced with 14 and shes like What a fucking loser #highly dunkable biscuit #yazs reaction to 14 is similar to like 9 or 10 re domesticity #'aw dont tell me i settle down. gross! boring! horrifying!' #anyway i just like the contrast #i like intertwining all the feelings yaz has abt being back on earth and seeing the doctor again and #it turning into this master-like sentiment of 'you used to be fun and now youre a little wimp' #yaz re 13: shes Special #yaz re 14: hes just some guy #bc like the thing is yazs doctor.........like..............travels. #i think is the thing #thats part of it. she loves the doctor for the doctor but she also loves the doctor for the life she leads #and lets yaz lead #i think #anyway yes im still writing this fic sorry i let myself get distracted but i will get it done in the end #also 14 woudl adore being thought of as just some guy #yaz: no i was insulting you #14: 🥰🥰🥰

[girlscience]

I finished Nona the Ninth and.... I was going to make a whole post outlining everything that confused and frustrated me about the book (because there is A Lot) but actually I think I can sum it up much faster. This is a story mostly focused on characters and people, and I often do not care about characters and people. I far prefer worldbuilding to nearly everything else and I think the worldbuilding is there, but it is not really being explained. There is a war happening, and I understand absolutely none of it. I don't understand the sides/factions, I don't understand the politicking happening, I don't understand the goals, I don't know who is leading what or why or where they are etc etc etc. And I don't know if that's a fault on my part as a reader or that it's simply not being explained well. In relation to that, everything is unreliable narrators. And I think I am coming to the conclusion I don't like that. It means I don't know what's actually happening ever and it is beginning to really frustrate me.

#tlt #I like the characters! I do! But I am really only attached to Gideon #I liked all the characters in Nona... but they arent very important to me #I like the making of Paul and thought that was very interesting and well written and moving #but that was pretty much the only character based piece of this story I really loved #Idk. I am going to finish the series.... but I don't understand anything #I think I will have to reread everything but even then idk if I'll pick up all the pieces #I also have opinions about the fact all of it feels like it's happening on post apocalyptic earth.... #but it's supposed to be on alien planets and 10000 years in the future. I feel like it should feel far more alien #I did like getting John's backstory and explaination. but I also think he may be an unreliable narrator so I don't trust what he said #and I don't get why everything that happened in his story happened... and like I guess that piece doesn't matter so much cause 10000 years #but it bothers me #AND AGAIN MY GIRL GIDEON WAS BARELY IN THE BOOK #idk. I just want to know who is fighting. why are the fighting. what do they all want. WHERE are they fighting. how are they fighting. #what all science is there. what space travel is there. how does the space travel work. #better explainations of the magic. and the river. what was the tower in the river. (i think some of that will be addressed later) #(or at least i fucking hope so) #idk. I feel like some of this is explained and I just missed it... but I think some of it is absolutely glossed over #and I don't hate open ended worldbuilding entirely but I want better scaffolding #I DONT KNOW. I feel like I'm being mean and so I feel bad #like it's a good book and so many people like them #and I liked them at the beginning!!! but now I'm just confused and frustrated #and I don't know if it's my fault and I'm just too stupid to pick on things and context and hints and stuff #or if it actually was all that poorly explained

[bobmckenzie]

i wanna sit on the bathroom sink counter in the morning and watch Louis shave and put on aftershave and i can hold his gel while he does his hair and help him pick out what cologne to wear and

#guess who's celebrating halloween by watching ghostbusters 🤪 #hes SOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUTE UHGDSHUHSGFH #i want him to invite ME in for a mineral water 😔😔 (why does that sound like an innuendo LMAO) #the way his hair looks in the scene where he's running from vinz is so pretty it gets all fluffy and AHHHH #WHYYY dont they let him ride in the car with everyone else at the end of the first movie it always makes me so sad 😭😭 #also every time i watch ghostbuesters im just like damn #if i looked like dana i would be UNSTOPPABLE i would have every last ounce of confidence in the world sdkjfisdlkfs #same as when i watch alien. SW is just too gorgeous #ALSO also its so funny that with every viewing of GB i like peter more and more #when i was a teen i remember being annoyed by him 😅 #but as ive grown up his brand of silliness has grown on me so much and i feel like hes sweet in his own special ways lol #maybe ive become more sardonic with age so we can be cynical sarcastic besties now pfff #caitiechat #louistag

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#tbd #☉ #lemme start by prefacing this with I KNOW there's no real normal way to be human #ok i get that #but fucking HELL I wish i was normal #i wish my health was normal for my age #i wish i wasn't fucking. neurodivergent #im fine with being queer but ffs why am i in between normal queer and accepted Aroace-ness #why am i abnormal in that regard too #i wish I didn't alienate people i wish i didn't have to explain why im extra quiet and moody and minutes from a meltdown #i wish my hands and feet wouldn't swell up and hurt and burn and I wish i could take a fucking shower without feeling dread #because i had the water temp set to hot and now im dizzy and my heart is racing and im overheating -- alternatively I wish #i didn't feel so self conscious because i DONT shower every day or even every other day like i dont like when my hair goes limp either! #and i use deodorant everyday and wipe off when i can but i have fuckin Let's Sweat Buckets For No Reason Disorder so i always look and feel #like a drowned rat. im tired of being tired but not being able to sleep. im tired of not being able to explain that yes its really not you #its me. me wanting to be alone has nothing to do with you ok its my brain deciding to fuckin shut down because everything is too much rn #& idk how to tell you that im at my wits end but if you treat me with kidd gloves i WILL go off like a fuckin bomb. just treat me NORMAL ffs #just treat me normal 😭 i just want to be normal. i want to be able to sit down and just do my application stuff instead of #staring at a blank document for weeks and then wanting to throw things as the deadline approaches ( #its due friday and i have absolutely nothing written lmao) and idk if its executive dysfunction or anxiety or my tendancey to self sabotage #but either way im so fuckin fucked. im NOT in the headspace rn for writing a graduate school application letter. #trying hard not to cry rn bcs my friend and her parents are sleeping already bcs they have a 9-5 sleeping schedule to fit their 9-5 jobs #like i dont even have a normal sleeping schedule lmao mine's 2-10. i just don't understand why im so broken or whatever. not normal. #& i feel bad for bitching about it all bcs objectively i have a pretty decent life. i have a home i have food i have a family that loves me #im just back to feeling like im too much and also not enough and im so fuckin lonely. im tired of feeling lonely. and i think #ive got a platonic crush or two. or something. and idk how to handle that anymore. if i ever did. #idk idk i feel like im back to looking at the world and passersby through frosted glass again.