Good night to everyone
Except
Wincest shippers
People who like John winchester
People who makes actors purposefully uncomfortable with questions
People who dont like Misha
People who think John and Mary were good parents
Dean haters
Sam haters
People who like the finale
People who hate on ships that are fine but then “tolerate” Toxic/disgusting ships
People who don’t use grammer in there fanfics
People who hate on first time fanfic writers
Jack haters
People who simp for Jack (He’s 2 you sick fucks)
People who dont like Bobby
People who bully others for not liking a certain trope (ABO, Mpreg)
People who hate on people who like a certain trope
People who think Lucifer was just misunderstood
People whp think Adam deserved the shit he went through
People who hate on Lisa, Jo or Claire.
People who hate on Destiel because you simp for one of the characters.
People who don’t credit artists or authors
People who thinks Rowena was a good mom
People who hate Rowena
People who like Crowley’s ending
People who genuinely think Mary’s storyline was good for Dean
People who think Jack was at fault for killing Mary
People who think Dean should have just got over it when Mary died
People who think Dean is as abusive as John
People who think that one episode redeemed John
People who think John was ALWAYS an abusive piece of hellhound shit
People who genuinely like the ending seasons of the show but dont like jack
People who like Chuck
Castiel haters
Misha haters
People who think Jensen is homophobic
People who try and force Cockles onto the actors
People who force destiel on anyone
People who hate on Megstiel or Sastiel
People who hate on Ace/Aro cas headcanons
Shippers who hate on other shippers
Anyone who hates Jody or Donna
People who think Amara and Dean were a good couple but then also hate on Amara
People who hate on Gen or Daneel because Cockles
People who hate on cockles shippers that are actually non-toxic
Toxic Cockles shippers
People who think John “did his best”
People who hates John but can excuse Lucifer
Bobby haters
People who hate bobby
People who don’t like bobby
People who think Jack was at fault for everything
People who think dean was at fault for everything
People who thinks Cas was dean’s lap dog
People who hate on Dean/Sam when he makes a mistake but can excuse the other
People who hate on Crowley for being a awful person but then make excuses for Rowena or Lucifer and vice versa
People who scream at Destiel comments that “DEAN/CAS IS STRAIGHT” Please go touch some grass
People who doesn’t like Miracle. Everyone likes miracle
People who like DeanxCrowley but hate Destiel/Megstiel
People who hate on Samwena for the “Age gap” But can say Crowley X Dean is okay
Toxic fandom members in general
People who simp for Chuck (No exceptions)
People who ship Destiel but cant handle criticism of the characters or the ship
People who ship Jack with anyone
People who ship Chuck with anyone
Amara haters
People who think Amara and Dean is healthy (Some arguements are valid)
People who dont like “The Winchesters” without having seen it
People who fucking defend Wincest or any incestious ship
BobbyxDean/Sam shippers
People who dont like Crobby but has a crack ship of their own.
Crack pairing haters (There fun)
People who think you “Know” the actor and saying shit like “Im not a fan of their attitude” like you know what their like off camera
People who bully non-destiel shippers
People who bully literal minors for anything
People who spread rumours about an actor that has anything to do with their personal lives
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There is just this rage that comes with realizing your body is just completely fucked while still outwardly looking Fine.
And then garnering the judgement of family who have convinced themselves you’re not trying hard enough.
And still waiting for a finished diagnosis to try petitioning for life-long physical therapy, pain management (that are NOT opioids when you can’t take nsaids, and you’re deemed too young for steroid injections especially as it is never brought up as an option), and ssi disability. Because what else are you gonna do. Especially when you’ll always be a burden. Capitalistic life isn’t designed to allow you to rest so you can still do Something within your limitations and not get injured, anyway. Or have energy left for yourself.
(No one is really clever enough to help, either. Is it even worth the risk to try contacting rehabilitation services when you need to stay on medicaid for a eventually-debilitating auto immune disease that has to have very expensive injections twice a month, all the while it’s the hypermobility that makes even being a student or hobbies or chores so iffy?)
And then trying to befriend some people. But there’s this wall there. They radiate concern. Sometimes affection. But I don’t want pity. (I don’t know how to accept actual sympathy to my face by their vibes and tone and body language, anyway.) I just want secure friendships. I just want—for once in my adult life, or my life period if including neurodivergence’s and the resulting cptsd from not even remotely accepting environments—to not be my Problems. Someone else’s Problem.
I just want to be human. I want to have fun and feel capable and not blunderingly or intentionally reminded that I’m not.
(Am I even worth being someone not pitied? Not judged? Will I ever be fun?)
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Third night in a row I can't fall asleep because of dad asking me to answer my mother s fucking email
And I don't know what they both expect
But if I were to answer, it won't be kind or sweet or forgiving as she is asking
It will be cruel
And it's just. Scaring me
Because I know how I could make it Oh so cruel and painful for her, to finally be the one actually getting to be oh so painfully mean and destroy her for days
But mainly, I'm terrified of how satisfying this sounds
Because I don't want to be cruel and awful, but I know that if I answer it, I'd be unable to be anything but as harmful as I can, because I've been holding it all in for two decades and I ve always wanted to be the one getting to be awful
And it's so stupid and harmful
And I don't want that
So I wish everyone would fucking stop to try and make me answer, believing I'll just be sweet and apologetic and forgiving to her
When there's not an ounce of love and forgiveness for her in me
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So I was making my new Haikyuu vid ready for YT and writing Chapter 3 of Regret Veins, but guess what.. Ever since Tuesday I caught this cold, it started with a slight throat infection, and I thought that yeah it will just fade away eventually, not a big deal, the next thing I knew was that I got a fever.
So yeah, I guess I'm going to the doctor tmr bcs this is so tiring I can't talk, it hurts so much🤧
I'll continue my work on the two mentioned above once I'm better😔
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