#and I am awkward

[theoldaeroplane]

worried that thing you put in your art or writing or game or music is too self-indulgent, too self-referential, too niche for anyone but yourself? fear not! you can do whatever you want forever. and you should.

#writing #art #music #games #things i have to remind myself of daily #anyway ive found those things you're worried about sharing are often the most powerful things you CAN share #i hope you write #<- i would like to replace that tag with something that is less conversational #it makes reblogs awkward #anyway good morning. i have so many things to do today but instead i am crafting a memorial to my partner's best friend in my fanfiction.

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

#tloz #a link to the past #zelda #link #my art #I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one... #I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea #I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat. #it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd #if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl...... #I'm falling back into my old ways rn though #anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends #like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder #they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it #in a proper way that might make sense.... #if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth #and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[amphibianaday]

day 1421

#uh just a heads up if you expand the tags to see all there's. a lot. very long #amphibian #frog #poison dart frog #based on my most popular frog to date (day 651) #inspired by everyone pointing out what they think it looks like #here's a fun secret fact the original guy is actually a phantasmal poison dart frog (Epipedobates tricolor) #(according to the original artists title of the drawing) #not Anthony's poison arrow frog (Epipedobates anthonyi) #i feel too awkward to really point it out though because they look the exact same. i cannot tell if there is a difference #im half convinced the same frog was just discovered and named twice #its very curious btw if you go on the (english) wikipedia page for either species it doesn't mention the other #while hereptiles.info (no idea if this is a trustworthy site) lists both names as common names for the same frog (incorrectly??) #while inaturalist lists them as two different frogs. curiously with tricolor having wayyyyy fewer photos #ok anyway that's my rant i went on a whole journey trying to figure out if these are the same frog or not and i have no answer #i did some more 'research' and i am more confused. some sources seem to imply they are now considered the same species ( e. tricolor) #i think my conclusion is i am willing to agree the drawing looks more like e. anthonyi. it seems like tricolor is generally less vibrant re #and the white is darker and more green? #i feel like thumblr should stop me from typing more in the tags at this point this is a whole essay #at this point i am failry convinced this is specifically the Santa Isabel frog. isthat the real subspecies or morph or whatever #or just the name pet sites are using to sell it?? #i even found some sources (frog selling websites) refering to it as “Epipedobates Anthonyi 'Santa Isabel' Phantasmal Poison Dart Frog” lol #Anyways if you read this far hi. species are confusing. i am not a frog scientist #the first few tags are like an hour old now i just kept trying to figure it out and adding more tags

[wasyago]

we're at it again🕺

#jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #my art #sketch #back on my bullshit woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah #genuinely a lot happier with this design than the previous ones. the lighter metal looks better on him #and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think #and you can see im trying to figure out how gill would carry his sword around #technically he should just carry it in his hands and don't have a scabbard because its a longsword and isn't supposed to be sheathed... #but like... its not practical to always carry it in his hands. especially in a day to day life. because he always has the sword on him- #but he doesn't necessarily always hold it? like. he needs hands for stuff #i think i like the back scabbard better (even if i drew the whole turnaround for the hip one) just because it doesn't mess with his tail #plus that way destiny's blade is higher up and gets to look around at stuff and i think its funny #but then like... the cape is a little awkward if it has to go above the sword... #but its not a big deal. if he has a cape and armor on he probably holds the sword in his hands anyway #am i putting too much thought into this unnecessary detail? yes #am i rambling in the tags again instead of making a separate post? also yes

[lotus-pear]

NEW MAYOI CARDDDDS MADE ME SILLY THEY CANONICALLY HAVE GIRLS NIGHT SLEEPOVERS IM SOBBING UEUEUUEUEUE

#MY FAVS FINALLY INTERACT I FUCKING WIN LETS GO LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO‼️‼️ #CHUUAKU SLEEPOVER I AM TWIRLING MY HAIR KICKING MY LEGS GIGGLING BLUSHING FINALLYYYYYYY THE BESTIES EVER IM SO HAPPY #MATCHING CARDS. MATCHING PJS. TELL ME YOU SHOP TOGETHER WITHOUT TELLIMG ME YOU SHOP TOGETHER #I LOVE THEM SO SO SO SO MUCH FUCK DAZAI AND ATSUSHI THIS IS MY FAV MENTOR DAD AND THEIR PRECIOUS STUDENT #ANYWAY THEY R LITERALLY LIKE THE BESTEST OF FRIENDS IN MY MIND I LOVE AWKWARD AKU AND LIKE OUTGOING FUN AMIABLE CHUUYA #LIKE...........EXTROVERT ADOPTING AN INTROVERT BESTIE. THATS EHAT THEY R LIKE. TO ME #GAAAAAHHHHH THANK YOU MAYOI TEAM #also sry idk how to draw aku's hair it's the biggest mystery to me💀💀💀 shoutout to artists who know how to do that #(i am not one of them) #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #akutagawa ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke akutagawa #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #lotus draws

[b1deo]

You said you drew Tim with too surgery scars in that one picture but covered them up because you liked his outfit, so are you able to do a drawing so we can see his scars? ε>

This is kinda rough, but you get the idea!!! Also added a Brian for dramatic effect (trans tape Brian, beloved… I miss him every day…)

ALSO! extra art and the original uncovered version here, cause it’s just been lying around pdfdhdd-

#marble hornets #marble hornets fanart #tim wright #brian marble hornets #brian thomas #tim wright marble hornets #also to all the other people who have sent me asks #I am so incredibly sorry for not responding #I only noticed them MONTHS after they were sent #and now I feel awkward about responding #BUT THANKS FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!! #asks #my art

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

............... Are the kids on here okay? Don't they have like,,,,, parents who love each other?

#what am i asking or course they don't #they're on tumblr #i do #which makes me a tumblr unicorn #but hello people older than 20 flirting is the exact opposite of cringe what are you saying #it's wayyyyyyyy less awkward

[sugar-tooth]

flustered JFK >>>>

#he’s not very good at this #clone high #clone high reboot #joanfk #clone high jfk #clone high joan #chew on this while I cook up a comic tehe #I am fully convinced he doesn’t know how to handle actual feelings for someone #and it’s really funny #I really wish we got more slow burn in the new season so we could see them be awkward and cute and AUGHHH #missed opportunity #so FINE. I’ll feed MYSELF.

[comradekatara]

okay be honest. if someone as hot as sokka (is constantly established to be by other characters within the text) said these exact words to you, you would also fall in love with them on the spot and/or be overwhelmed with uncontrollable horniness. yue is valid

#id in alt text #sokka #yue #sokkaxyue #i am once again thinking about Them #they are sooo cute its unreal #and i will not apologize for that!!!! #also yes. i know im gay but i have many straight friends okay #or well. i have one straight friend but she's REALLY straight she is the heterosexualest woman in the world #so i know how their minds work #and besides. man or woman there is nothing hotter than an attractive person who is also an awkward dorkass nerd #it's like catnip to us (girls who probably have something wrong with them but are really good at masking it) #frankly it's the kind of thing everyone i've ever dated or ever considered dating has said to me #yes i would like to do an activity with you!! at a place!!! for some time!!!!! #anyway. my point is #people clown on sokka for this (namely; katara) #but it would work on most if not all of you #i guarantee it

[maalidoesart]

idk thought of this last night in bed so here is a random af crossover

also boyfriend reactions:

(chuuya is probably standing on a box to match hua chengs height bs damn my guy is small)

#i am so sorry but now its out of my head #the crossover noone wanted but now its here #yes this came from me realizing both dazai and xie lian wear bandages #also this eould probably be a very awkward meeting #ngl i think hua cheng would laugh a bit at tiny angry chuuya #i hope ppl who are in both fandoms can appreciate this lmaooo #art #fanart #drawing #illustration #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #tgcf #tgcf fanart #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #dazai bungou stray dogs #chuuya bungou stray dogs #chuuya #dazai #dazai bsd #chuuya bsd #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #skk #soukou #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian

[originalartblog]

fuck it *wholesomes your skk*

#this feels blasphemous what are you doing being this happy and giddy and giggly #i tried to make them both happy and a little awkward because this is new and a little stressful i hope it somewhat comes across... #yeah yeah chuuya has abs if he FLEXES THEM he is not right now though #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #nawy's art #no lineart only cleaned sketch i am free #my disclaimer is that i am not responsible for your imagination and assumptions i had only pure but mischievous intentions

[ffiveseasons]

I’ve been out of the Hazbin/Helluva fandom for a while now, (although I still lurk) but wanted to post this bc the implication that all of the overlords have to occasionally get together to have, like, group meetings and shit is so funny. Like, these hoes all have to sit at a table and act like everything’s all peachy-keen and talk about the weather like they don’t try to kill each other every year for territory lmao. Like, Alastor and Velvette being in the same room and probably having to brainstorm ways to keep the Exterminators away is fucking hysterical. It’s like when you were in high school and got paired up with your mutual frenemies to make a group presentation.

#OH OH BTW I am POSITIVE that they all do that awkward #‘we-don’t-get-along-but-are-being-forced-to-interact-so-I’m-going-to-make-my-face-expressionless-and-talk-in-a-bland-monotone-voice’ #thing that people do when they see someone they don’t like at a party #Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #Helluva Boss #velvette #Valentino hazbin hotel #Vox hazbin hotel #Charlie Morningstar #Cherri bomb #Vaggie hazbin hotel #vaggie #Husk hazbin hotel

[mistysblueboxstuff]

had to spend my day in a suit so might as well take some pictures xD

#i am very awkward #but I'm learning to deal with it lol #personal #not art #me #also i need a haircut #but i hate going to the hairdressers xD