pwhpa *cough cough* I can’t today coach, I’m sick 😔 Would you rather bag skate or beep test… or find a way to get out of it? We asked Team Sonnet on the mini mic presented by Canadian Tire.
Pretty Deadly (Elton Prince and Kit Wilson) - 59.9%
Minoru Suzuki (Current Day) - 51.8%
Randy Orton with a mustache - 50.9%
Sami Callihan (CZW Era) - 26.4%
Gangrel - 24.1%
Gorgeous George - 21.4%
Average smash rating this week: 61.0%
More stats under the cut, along with my observations, commentary, and some of my favorite tags...
Most total votes this week (most enthusiasm)
Jon Moxley (Dean Ambrose) - 364 votes
Minoru Suzuki - 361
Utami Hayashishita - 343
Edge and Beth Phoenix - 338
Eddie Guerrero - 303
And least total votes this week (least enthusiasm)
Sami Callihan - 178 votes
Gorgeous George - 187
Unholy Union - 206
Bear Boulder - 217
Carmelo Hayes - 222
The closest poll was Randy Orton with a mustache, who won 115-111
Top Ten Overall
Kris Statlander - 91% smash
Athena - 90.2% smash
Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash
Utami Hayashishita - 88.9% smash
Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash
Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash
Toni Storm - 88.1% smash
Hiroshi Tanahashi - 87.7% smash
Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash
Bianca Belair - 86.4% smash
Bottom Ten Overall
Vince McMahon - 3.9% smash
Ric Flair - 4.6% smash
Kane (Corporate variant) - 10.1% smash
Miracle Violence Connection - 11.8% smash
Gene Munny - 12.4% smash
Spike Trivet - 12.% smash
Kevin Sullivan - 13.1% smash
Triple H (Terra Ryzing variant) - 18.6% smash
Eric Bischoff (NWO) - 20.0% smash
Gorgeous George - 21.4% smash
Top Women Overall
Kris Statlander - 91% smash
Athena - 90.2% smash
Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash
Utami Hayashishita - 88.9% smash
Toni Storm - 88.1% smash
Bottom Women Overall
Eve Torres - 47.1% smash
Carmella - 47.8% smash
Nikkita Lyons - 48.2% smash
Julia Hart (Cheerleader Variant) - 49.8% smash
Kelly Kelly - 50.3% smash
Top Men Overall
Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash
Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash
Hiroshi Tanahashi - 87.7% smash
Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash
Hikuleo - 86.0% smash
Top Tag Teams
The Golden Lovers - 80.4% smash
Unholy Union - 74.3% smash
Best Friends - 66.7% smash
Motor City Machine Guns - 65.5% smash
Roppongi Vice - 62.7% smash
There were some new additions to the overall lists this week. Utami Hayashishita earned a spot on both the top overall list and the top women's list, and Gorgeous George just barely kicked Charlie Dempsey off the bottom overall list.
We've now had three polls on Jon Moxley, and the ranking is:
Current AEW Mox - 84.8% smash
Dean Ambrose - 84.6%
CZW Mox - 82.3%
Also, people prefer non-mullet Eddie Guerrero (80.5% smash) to Eddie Guerrero with a mullet (77.0% smash), and people prefer Randy Orton sans mustache (62.3% smash) to Randy Orton with mustache (50.9% smash).
Also like...88.7% of you would have done Minoru Suzuki when he was young, but only 51.8% of you would do old Suzuki? To echo the sentiments of a few reblogs, is this not the "sexualize that old man" website?
In actual blog news, the 250th poll was posted today, and we hit 500 followers a couple weeks ago but I forgot until now. Thank you so much to everyone who's followed, submitted poll requests, reblogged, liked, and otherwise interacted with this blog!
And now for some of my favorite tags and comment
@lghockey on Gorgeous George: #what in the revolutionary war is that haircut
@booboo-eyedbambi on Bear Boulder: #i need him to squish me like he's trying to get the last of his toothpaste out of me
@midcarder on Minoru Suzuki: #the only reason to not fuck suzuki is because you're afraid
@regalityandcoffee on Carmelo Hayes: #on one hand hes hot#in the other hand i once had a dream he tried to kill me so-
I once had a dream that William Regal put drugs in my suitcase as I was going on vacation with Mox. Wrestlers are rude af in dreams.
how openly queer are the pwhl teams as of september 18 2023
6. minnesota and toronto
- 0% -
no openly queer members on either teams.
4. boston
- 11% -
jamie lee rattray and (my queen) hilary knight are both openly queer!
3. ottawa
- 11% -
emily clark and brianne jenner, both queer women. bonus points for both of them already being signed.
2. new york
- 17% -
alex carpenter, micah zandee-hart, and jill saulnier are all *drumroll please* queer as fuck.
1. montreal
- 17% -
apparently where the lesbians live, they were comminted to the femslash plotline. from signing power couple marie-phillip poulin and laura stacey to drafting erin ambrose in the first round, montreal is a WOMEN FOR WOMEN community.
Most Beloved WWE Wrestler Tournament: Round 1 Statistics Dump
Followers: 230
Total Votes: 22087
Times my modem crashed so I was without wifi for two weeks and had to go to my neighbors' house so I could ensure the tournament could continue undisturbed: 1 (thankfully)
Beloved By Gender
Starting out, we had a tournament of 209 women against 931 men, with percentages shown below.
After voting, the pie chart looks like this:
Which means on average, tumblr loves female wrestlers more
Voting Trends
During the first round of voting, we had a low of 309 votes per day up to 593, with our highest voting day being the day of the Great Naomi VS Scott Steiner debate
The 100%ers
In the first round, a good number of wrestlers did not get a single vote against them
Tony Atlas (26)
Cedric Alexander (33)
Rick Rude (35)
No Way Jose (36)
Dusty Rhodes (46)
Kofi Kingston (53)
Eddie Guerrero (53)
Owen Hart (56)
Damian Priest (69)
Public Opinion
Tumblr has long been known for going against the grain of "wrestling professionals" opinions, so I collected a few opinions of the highly regarded to compare ours to (I left out the names of the wrestlers who were not included in this tournament)
Sports Illustrated's 101 Best Wrestlers Of All Time (2016)
Ric Flair (18, lose)
Shawn Michaels (53, win)
Steve Austin (29, win)
The Rock (23, lose)
The Undertaker (53, win)
Dusty Rhodes (46, win)
John Cena (47, win)
Hulk Hogan (10, lose)
Sting (51, win)
Andre The Giant (56, win)
Randy Savage (37, win)
Roddy Piper (54, win)
Chris Jericho (27, win)
Harley Race (17, win)
Mick Foley (58, win)
Bret Hart (52, win)
Randy Orton (58, win)
Kurt Angle (45, win)
Antonio Inoki (28, win)
Ricky Steamboat (28, win)
Daniel Bryan (61, win)
Triple H (31, win)
Buddy Rogers (21, win)
Edge (41, win)
Bob Backlund (26, win)
Brock Lesnar (23, lose)
Stan Hansen (22, lose)
Bruno Sammartino (30, win)
CM Punk (57, win)
Ted DiBiase (27, win)
Bruiser Brody (33, win)
Hideo Itami (34, win)
Rey Mysterio (48, win)
Vader (32, win)
Dory Funk Jr (17, win)
Mr Perfect (37, win)
Eddie Guerrero (53, win)
Jake ROberts (32, win)
Arn Anderson (25, win)
The Sheik (31, win)
AJ Styles (40, win)
Goldust (70, win)
Samoa Joe (61, win)
Terry Funk (27, win)
Verne Gagne (14, lose)
Mil Mascaras (10, lose)
Rob Van Dam (43, win)
Tatsumi Fujinami (25, lose)
Rick Rude (35, win)
Owen Hart (56, win)
Jeff Hardy (52, win)
Goldberg (23, win)
Ivan Koloff (15, lose)
Chris Benoit (17, lose)
Larry Zbyszko (4, lose)
Ultimo Dragon (9, lose)
Scott Hall (44, win)
Trish Stratus (38, win)
Dean Malenko (37, win)
Ultimate Warrior (28, win)
Fabulous Moolah (18, lose)
William Regal (62, win)
Gene Kiniski (14, lose)
Scott Steiner (44, lose)
Rick Steiner (26, win)
Chyna (68, win)
Seth Rollins (55, win)
Kane (40, win)
Jimmy Snuka (9, lose)
Davey Boy Smith (22, win)
The Iron Sheik (49, win)
Pedro Morales (20, win)
Michael Hayes (10, lose)
Johnny Valentine (14, win)
Shinsuke Nakamura (58, win)
Diesel (39, win)
Batista (53, win)
Lita (46, win)
Christian (56, win)
Ron Simmons (25, win)
Big Show (41, win)
JBL (10, lose)
Christopher Daniels (26, win)
The Miz (34, win)
PWI Wrestler Of The Year
Pedro Morales (20, win)
Jack Brisco (17, win)
Bruno Sammartino (30, win)
Terry Funk (27, win)
Dusty Rhodes (46, win)
Harley Race (17, win)
Bob Backlund (26, win)
Ric Flair (18, lose)
Hulk Hogan (10, lose)
Randy Savage (27, win)
Sting (51, win)
Vader (32, win)
Diesel (39, win)
Big Show (41, win)
Lex Luger (25, win)
Steve Austin (29, win)
The Rock (23, lose)
Brock Lesnar (23, lose)
Kurt Angle (45, win)
Chris Benoit (17, lose)
Batista (52, win)
John Cena (47, win)
Triple H (31, win)
Randy Orton (58, win)
CM Punk (57, win)
Daniel Bryan (61, win)
Seth Rollins (55, win)
AJ Styles (40, win)
Adam Cole (47, win)
Dean Ambrose (58, win)
Roman Reigns (51, win)
PWI Woman Of The Year
Joyce Grable (30, win)
Susan Green (21, win)
Stephanie McMahon (26, win)
Lita (46, win)
Trish Stratus (38, win)
Victoria (27, win)
Candice Michelle (24, win)
Mickie James (47, win)
Michelle McCool (29, win)
AJ Lee (48, win)
Sasha Banks (44, win)
Charlotte Flair (45, win)
Asuka (58, win)
Becky Lynch (58, win)
Bianca Belair (34, win)
TOP 10 MOST VOTED THUS FAR
Naomi, 173
Billy Gunn, 138
Goldust, 70
Damian Priest, 69
Chyna, 68
Shotzi Blackheart, 65
Finn Balor, 65
William Regal, 62
Samoa Joe/Daniel Bryan, 61
Toni Storm, 60
A big thank you to everyone who voted and I hope next round brings even more vicious infighting to shatter the dreams of old men who have had their egos boosted way too high over the last 40 years (yes, I'm directly roasting Ric Flair)
Because I've had this in my head for a week (and I'm trying to write more).
~~~~
Cecil set the ink pen down on his desk and quickly looked over the letter making sure he'd included all the specifics before posting it to the mail. Letter folded, envelope addressed, he was about to place his wax seal when a knock came at his door. Looking up at the clock it was far to early for Philip to be reminding him of his appointment tonight.
"Come." Cecil called as he placed the seal on the wax, assuming Philip or Molly needed his attention.
"Oh... of course, you're busy." A soft, familiar voice spoke.
Surprised, Cecil looked over as Ambrose, dressed in a night shirt and thin dressing gown, stood halfway in his door. Immediately, Cecil rose from his desk.
"Ambrose, why are you out of bed?" He asked pointedly but then relaxed, seeing Ambrose shrink back. "My apologies." Cecil softened his tone as he led the recovering man into his study. "Dr Fairchild wanted you on bedrest, remember?"
The fading light of the gas lamps still illuminated how pale Ambrose was as he sat next to Cecil on the sofa.
"That was three days ago, Hart. I've barely seen you since then." Ambrose leaned on Cecil's shoulder as a quilt was pulled over him.
"Again, my apologies, much has my attention lately. I did not mean to upset you by not visiting. Molly has kept me abreast of your health." Cecil replied as he entangled his fingers in Ambrose's loose curls.
Ambrose only hummed in return, his hand searching for Cecil's beneath the quilt.
Their peace was interrupted a bit later as a frantic knock came as Molly burst in, "Master Lockhart I..." She stopped as her eyes found the sick man. "Mr. Beaumont! There you are!" Molly's normally sweet tone held quite the frustration.
Ambrose slunk further under the safety of the covers. Cecil stifled a chuckle. "It appears you've been found."
"Apologies, sir," Molly said to Cecil, "Mr Beaumont did not inform staff he'd left his bed. I was worried he'd fainted again."
Cecil cast his eyes down at Ambrose, who was sitting up, keeping the quilt wrapped around him.
"I did not mean to cause concern, Molly. I only needed a change of venue." He stood up slowly as Molly put her arm behind his back, leading him towards the door. Cecil rose as well.
"Also, Mr. Montague should be arriving shortly. Philip is preparing the front parlor for him." Molly said as they all entered the hallway.
"Very good, I have a few issues to see before that." Cecil then looked at Ambrose. "Goodnight. Sleep well." He nodded his head then turned walking the opposite way.
Ambrose stood watching, only pivoting when he felt Molly leading him.
"I am sorry for interrupting your time with the Master." She said, "I know your time together these last weeks has been brief." She paused as Ambrose coughed into his elbow.
"It has..." Ambrose cleared his throat, "I'm sure tides will turn soon." He said, his tone full of disbelief.
"I'm sure it will." Molly replied in the same tone.