#am i that scared of facing myself

[longelk]

do you guys think Leshy would have been a tumblr sexyman if we only ever saw his eyes/arms like genuinely? i think he has that air about him that would've made people go crazy for him if they had the liberty of giving him a more "attractive" design but as it stands there are likely people put off by his old old grandpa look

#i am of course. incredibly biased. but im trying to put myself in the shoes of people who think like. the triangle and purple guy are hot #youre trapped with an insane murderer in a cabin forcing you to play game and his face is obscured #he orders you around.. #''Get up. Get up from the table.'' and he starts tapping the table when you wants you to put the candelabra down #people think thats hot right? right #makes you mutilate yourself. he has that edginess is what im saying #any of this would have been enough to depict him as some guy in a suit and crooked smile #im scaring myself so badly. #i know he's got the old man arms but i could easily see people ignoring that/letting it slide lol

[purrvaire]

no but ewan mcgregor was so right when he said he was terrified by vader while shooting bc at first I was like <3 ahah pathetic meow meow on a murder spree <3 and then I was like OH FUCK PATHETIC MEOW MEOW ON A MURDER SPREE OH FUCK

#genuinely scared the living shit out of me #WHEN HE DRAGGED OBI WAN THROUGH THE FIRE FUCKING HELL #THIS IS THE EMPEROR'S FIST THIS IS THE MAN WHO WAS FEARED THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY #they really went there im so delighted #in need of a diaper bc i shitted myself #dont get me started on i am what you made me bc ill cry and ill claw my face #obi wan kenobi show #kenobi spoilers #kenobi series #obi wan kenobi #darth vader #anakin skywalker #star wars #hayden christensen #ewan mcgregor #lidia watches

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu #HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand #in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred #because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it #including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines. #like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like #‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted #and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.) #i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on #this one but the full quote was too long: #all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless #so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one #and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o. #liv in the replies #shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs. #if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡 #the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is. #far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze #laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…) #also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy

[ratcandy]

For some reason it did not occur to me when I went wandering out into the woods for four hours or so that I would in fact encounter woodland creatures. But there I was, staring intently at a tree trying to find bugs on it, only to turn around and be startled half to death by two deer just staring at me like I just burst into their kitchen and stole all their silverware

#clamtalk #I dunno I never considered that I could be scared by a deer until I turned away from a tree and was faced with two sudden deer. #Just a lil startling when you are also alone in the woods HDKSBFJDNF #Anyway I am so sweaty and so bitten by mosquitoes. But I caught bugs. So really who wins here. #(there was no class today so I decided to rejuvenate myself by running away into the wilderness with a net) #(It worked!)

[ktsphere]

Once again he's not perfect but I'm pretty happy!

[6B pencil, no rubber]

#fanart #ben willbond #ghosts #the captain #kt.create #making myself do this without a rubber is actually so helpful #i make a mistake? #tough #deal with it #doesnt have to be perfect #otherwise i literally wont start because im so scared of fucking up #ive had this picture in my draw pile for months and months #and im letting myself be imperfect and ive created something!! #which wouldnt have existed!! #if i was still procrastinating it because im not good enough!! #i am good enough actually!! #also no mapping it out #just draw from the face outwards

[rubyneo]

we're the same guy

#if you mention how fucked up my bangs are youre transphobic i do these on my own at home in the bathroom at 2 am. exclusively. #my haircut is fucked too bc i dont style it ever. hot tools scare me so bad. #cj.txt #rwby9 #rwby beyond #my face #do you all love my dr pepper tshirt. do we think raven would wear a dr pepper tshirt #DONT MENTION MY STUPID ASS EXPRESSION EITHER OKAY...IDK HOW TO TAKE PHOTOS OF MYSELF....

[oscillating-fan-whore3]

What. The. Fuck.

#i wanna be angry i wanna be sooooo fucking angry at him but i fuckung cant all i can do is #blame myself and act like in the fucking problem and yk maybe i am but i just fucking cant because he grabbed my face and he grabbed my face #and i was so scared he was gonna kiss me i was so fhckjng scared and im so scared of him and i wanna say no i wanna #be able to leave him but i cant i feel like im cheating #maybe i should b glad he thinks im attractive and maybe this is being treated like one of the guys #im so gross...

[derpinette]

whenever a guy approaches me i start wishing i had a giant forehead tattoo that reads "I AM NOT & WILL NEVER EVER BE INTERESTED LEAVE ME ALONE PERMANENTLY" so i could flash it at them

#you know since i have bangs #just leave me alone freakazoid LEAVE ME ALOOOONEEEEE #they always say i seem scared Hm probably because i am now PISS OFF #guy two days ago ( skipping today & had a free day yesterday ) entered the same class as me & tried to chat me up #did not look back at him or bother to remember his name but i shook his hand:-/ i feel compelled to not leave people hanging #felt like self immolating after He was like are you always this stiff & quiet you seem scared do you have problems #yes i do & that problem is you FUCK OFF & now he knows my name & face but IDK his i am so goddamn retarded #i just kept answering in shrugs & IDKs but what i should have done is use my FFP ( Foreigner Face Privilege ) & pretend not to understand #but since i am an english major he would have just switched to bothering me in english UGHHH WHY CAN I NOT SAY NO #i feel really disgusted with myself RN #skipped today because i am too freaked out about everything trying to come down from heart palpitations i really hate when this happens #i always feel too anxious to go after i wish i lived in a female only world but also i feel really ugly lately too #which means it should be illegal for me to go outside #also i missed my bus right by like 5 seconds the moment i was about to cross the road it flashed away so... #i took it as a sign to not go ( after waiting for ~15+ minutes... sorry i am a quitter but not that fast )

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️ #personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

[josephtrohman]

a lil rough but i had to do a tourdust look reveal!!!! if anyone sees me at the show tonight feel free to come say hi :^)

feat bonus partner reveal :) sorry to andy and atlas i forgot to even look for stick on sideburns for him OOPS. at least he’s got those clear frames i told him to buy bc pstump wears clear frames ;)

#i didn’t do eyeliner after all cuz i was shaking too bad #and also my hair is a lil greasy cuz i sprayed sunscreen at my scalp so. gotta protect myself i’m pale as hell!!!!! #anyways i’m scared as hell but it’s fababoi time so soon… #my face #also i am wearing my clandestine necklace i just forgot to put it on before pics #thomas tag

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2

#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore #we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life #i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible #if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green #and later this year i think i might change my name #it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random #i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel #really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am #to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate #but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it #but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so #when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy #i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that #also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk..... #rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els #sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w #not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else #but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway #that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but #all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever #i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right? #i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not #im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help #it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning #nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my #feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions #i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary

[cowboybukake]

girly hood

#me #my face #myself #personal #I am moving this week :) #very happy and scared

[bulletsfrank]

me when running away from everyone makes me end up all alone:

#i dont have any irl friends anymore theyre all gone with my old discord and its been too long to go back #i lost myself over the summer in ways i can never explain.. i dont know where i am if im being honest #drinking is worsening it all #i feel so insane.. genuinely.. i cant stop getting into my own head and letting it all happen #its just me and teddy #im too scared to leave the house for longer than a few hours anymore #i cant handle people looking at .e #me. i cant handle talking. i cant handle daily tasks of anything. even these days moving feels too hard #i keep finding myself face down floating in the river #and when i turn my body over #my face isnt rotten #it isnt bloated at all. #... its just me and i look young and like i died two minutes ago #then i snap out and im making dinner #and im someone else. somewhere else forever #im so alone but id rather it right now. no one knows how bad it is. intentionally. i never tell anyone #because what would they do? #the only thing i ever learned was to run away and hide. i cant stop thinking i need to keep doing it #i just want everyone to be rid of me so i keep running and running and running

[panspy]

hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#i think this is an autism related thing #but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in #like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about #and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but #it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared #this is specifically in regards to working #like having a job. like going to work #i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating #in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience #i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared #like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW #and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start #im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant #not even a full year of working #i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms #and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go #i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have #ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow #i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed #and im talking about each micro step inbetween #what am i missing #and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being #supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING #jesus christ #manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe #i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves #around me. i know this #i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i #genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive