Am I Gay?
Jack always felt a little different, even though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. After Jack met Davey though, his whole world changed. Something just clicked.
“This is my brother Davey” Les introduced his older brother.
Jack stared at the taller boy, with kind, brown eyes who was dressed impeccably. There was something about the pressed shirt, clean shoes and tie tucked into the boy’s vest.
“Nice to meet you Davey” Jack greeted him with his usual careless bravado, trying not to let the butterflies in his stomach take over. No one had ever made him feel this way. Not even Kathrine. Jack was both afraid and excited about this new feeling. The best way he would describe it was like seeing snow on Christmas Eve. After selling papers with Davey and Les, Jack was even more certain about his emotions towards Davey.
After getting back to the newsie’s group house, Jack logged onto the internet to try and find out what was going on with him. He always had assumed he was straight but Davey was making him question everything. This was the first time he had ever considered another boy cute. This was the first time another person had thrown him off his usual confidence The very first thing Jack searched for was “am I gay quiz?” He took the quiz, unsure what the outcome would be. The quiz said he was more likely gay than straight. The next quiz Jack took was “Am I bisexual?” The answer was most definitely yes to this one. After the two quizzes, Jack read some articles about queer identity. If he was gay or bi he thought he should know more about those identities. As Jack was closing the tabs on the laptop, Race suddenly came bursting into the room. Before Jack could slam the computer shut, Race caught a glimpse of what Jack had been looking at. Jack was flustered but tried to remain composed.
“Is there something you need Race?”
Race just stood there, not knowing what to say.
“Umm, well I did. But now I forget. Why were you looking at that stuff?” Race asked with an inquisitive face.
“No reason. Just bored is all. Anyways I should head to bed. Early morning. Papes won’t sell themselves.”
“Yea I’m sure the papes need all the help they can get. Especially from Davey.”
Jack almost dropped his computer that he was putting away.
Race smirked.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Jack said, trying to hide his blushing.
“Yeah, you do. I mean you were making total heart eyes at Davey today. You could barely muster anything to say to him.”
Jack looked up at Race.
“Was it really that obvious?” He asked, concerned.
“Well, I noticed. And some of the other’s probably. And maybe Davey. But it is good that you are trying to find out your identity.”
Jack nodded
“Just don’t say anything to the others or Davey?”
“Of course not Jack! If you need to talk about anything I am here. Oh and what I was going to tell you was that Spot has been catfishing the Delancy brothers.”
Jack laughed at this.
The next day, the headline was once again about the writers and actors strike. It seemed like it had been going on for far too long. There seemed to be no end in sight. The producers and studio exec seemed happy to just wait out their workers. Which was something not even a certain demon would think of or approve of.
As everyone was pairing up, Race casually told Les that he could tag along with him and Spot. Les was excited about this opportunity.
Race winked at Jack, causing Jack to blush.
“Ok, well it looks like Davey and Jack have to team up then. Don’t worry us and Les won’t get into too much trouble.” Race said, smiling at Davey.
Davey seemed alright with this and he and Jack went off to sell some papes. Jack was quiet which was very strange for him. Somehow just being in Davey’s presence was enough to cause him to go completely silent. Davey, who was himself pretty introverted, didn't start any conversation. It was nice just sharing a peaceful walk. Upon reaching their corner, Jack began talking to the strangers on the street, hustling them. Davey watched him work, taking mental notes on how Jack approached everyone differently. Jack was flirting with an older woman, attempting to get her to purchase a pape. Davey felt a little bit of jealousy rise in him. He quickly shook it off. Telling himself that Jack was not interested in men. The other boys had made it pretty clear that Jack was very much a ladies man. The woman bought the newspaper and walked away grinning. After about half an hour, Jack and Davey headed back to meet up with the others. Everyone went out for dinner to Jacobi’s deli. Race made sure Davey and Jack sat across from each other. Jack was feeling worn out. Trying to keep his composure around Davey was exhausting. He hungrily dug into his sandwich and chips. Trying not to make eye contact with Davey. Les and Davey started to head back home to see their folks. Before they could make it too far Race said out loud to Jack
“So how was selling papes with him? It was better than those stupid quizzes, right?”
“What quizzes?” Davey asked.
Race started stumbling on his words. He said something to the effect “spot needs me” and ran off leaving Jack completely humiliated.
Jack could either lie to Davey or come clean. He decided to do the second, knowing that it was a matter of time before the others would hear of his crush on Davey and he didn’t want Davey to hear it from anyone but himself.
“I have been feeling kinda off my game. I just took some quizzes last night and Race kinda walked in on me.” Jack said, looking at the ground.
Davey raised his eyebrows.
“Nothing super weird or anything” Jack added hurriedly.
“I just ummm. Here is the thing Davey. I thought I was straight but after meeting you yesterday. I know we have only known each other for two days and it seems strange that after just meeting someone you question your whole identity, but that is what you made me do. Fact is, no girl has made me feel the way you do. I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s like this warm strange feeling. Like when I am around you, everything is going to be ok. I don’t know if you feel the same way or nothing…” Jack said trailing off, wishing he could just disappear into the setting sun.
Davey walked closer to Jack.
“Of course I feel the same way. I was really worried that you might not like me. I felt some immediate pull towards you. I can’t quite put my fingers on it, but there is something about you Jack Kelly that I loved the moment I met you” Davey replied.
There was a mutual sigh between them. Both felt immense relief.
Davey gently took Jack’s hands.
“How about we go on a proper date tomorrow? After selling papes? There is a nice deli near my house we can go. Maybe go have a picnic in the park?”
“That sounds great Davey” Jack said grinning.
They parted ways, happy to know that they had found the one person who truly made everything alright.
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