I'm carrying the weight of other people's grievances when my illness is the reason for such complaints. I spend 80% of my time in a sleep state. I cannot physically answer if i am asleep.
"you can't still be asleep"
"you're lazy"
Fatigue is one of my top 5 symptoms, yet gets treated like everyone-else's type of tiredness. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.
The hours I am awake aren't compatible with heabys (healthy abled peoples)
It's also not my fault that my routine doesn't line up with other people's. I don't go asking others to wait up until 2, maybe 3, eh possibly 4am. Where is the parity?
Sometimes i’m sad we only met during summer Never saw me in a puffer jacket, with red cheeks, cold hands Never saw you taking off your scarf, two blankets on the couch And that makes me wonder What if you in winter would of liked me in winter
"I am falling.. out of my chair, feet over ass in love with you. I can't help to, just look at you, you're so.. perfect.. and look at me. I am nothing, you are everything.. you are the universe, constellations of the softest perfection. You are every falling star that I have wished upon and I am just me, nothing big in the scheme of life.. but you.. you notice me, you love me, and for that I can't give you all of the love that you deserve but I try. Pitifully if you ask me, I try to love you in all of the ways that you deserve to be loved.. and I can't help but to wonder. Is it enough? Will I ever be enough? I want to be.."
you haven’t seen me in months
though you still yearn to hear my voice
but when we do all you talk about are these tides
but i didn't choose to float out to sea this time
is this everything you wanted?
or was this never enough?
i never understood what you wanted
but i assure you this is what you need
as you seem to need this more than me
like sinking ships in calm waters
still submerged, trying to reach the surface
but a sea of misunderstanding separates us
and i’m not sure you want to swim to the other side
am i everything you wanted?
or was i never enough?
i never understood what you wanted from me
but i’ll assure you in all the ways you need
as you seem to need me more than me
i'm just floating wherever i ebb and flow
we'll never pass each other in this current anyway
and if we do, it'll just be to keep you treading water
Anybody else feel like they're not enough but people tell them that their fine but in reality their words and facial expressions tell a tale that a voice can not
Do you ever just stare in the mirror.. for a long time, not doing anything. But just looking at yourself. Trying to figure out how you got here. How so much time has gone by so fast. What the hell is gonna happen next. And then the lingering question always sitting in the back of your mind... Will I ever be enough for anyone?
Everyday starts the same
Didnt sleep enough
Not deep enough
from the moment i open my eyes I’m needed
paint a smile and get it done
til the small moments i get to myself
enjoy the quiet?
seek the sleep I desperately need
repeat day in to day out