#am i afraid to find someone who could realistically care for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gothmikasagf · 2 months

Note

Hi! I’ve been following this blog for a bit and I love that you are having a HH phase, bc same. Can I get a matchup for the event?

★Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, I think it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

★Style: kinda rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too

★Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, bc the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I actually am close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

★❤️&💔: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and I unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on that

★My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think ppl that are bigger than me maybe? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships, I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

I love that for us anon^^

I match you with...

Husk!

Man is definitely a hater too. I can definitely see both of you just talking shit about whoever you don't like.

Doesn't mind your flirtations but don't really expect him to reciprocate unless he's out to fluster you.

Silently supportive of your hobbies and your band. He likes that you're a perfectionist but won't let you overwork yourself to the point you forget to take care of yourself.

Demonstrates he cares for you through little things, he won't make a big fuss about it.

Watches whatever movie you like and is there to listen to you if you want to talk about it.

He's pretty chill with anything so you wouldn't have to worry about being judged.

I feel like you would definitely understand each other, he has toned down a lot since his overlord days.

Likes having you sitting at the bar and just be in your presence. If you shit-talk Alastor in front of him he's yours forever.

Hope you enjoyed it and I didn't mess anything up (feel free to reach out if so).

#matchups #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #husk x reader #hazbin husk x reader

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pray4byron · 2 months

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Love the blog theme and colours! Esp the header. Can I get a HH matchup? The description is mostly pasted from another ask I did before, but like, I really don't have a new way do describe myself. Idk if this is as bad as sending the same propmp to two blogs, lmk cause I don't want to be disrespectful here

★Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

★Looks: my style has a rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too. I'm 5’7, athletic but not ripped, gray eyes and wavy blonde hair. Ironically (in this context) lots of ppl call me an angel/angelic-looking. Not going to lie, that feeds into my ego a little bit but I don't really get what they mean. I wear makeup too, love the fox eye trend

★Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ 🙄 cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I‘m close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

★My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). They have to be somewhat funny. Just… not serious all the time at least. Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think maybe ppl that are bigger than me? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships, I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

first of all, thx!! my blog is all lute themed because i love her sm haha, also imo it’s not disrespectful so dw, but if some other blog gives you crap, i gotchu, anyway this was such a hard tie between quite a few characters, but here’s who i decided to pair you with…

Angel Dust !!

I was debating so hard between him, Husk, or Charlie — but decided with Angel cause he’s a happy medium imo

I feel like you and Angel can bond well, but under the correct conditions and circumstances, like you both have been through shit and it sucked — and it probably still has a tight grip on you today, but you guys give each other the boost to keep trucking along, you’re each others reasons to get out of bed each day, each others cheerleaders for lack of a better term

You definitely enjoy Angel because he’s not afraid to talk a bit of shit, but he’s also not as serious as Husk, he can have a good time, he also matches your flirty energy a lot so you guys kinda just bounce comebacks and random shit off eachother

Angel is ALL IN for your “rockstar + angelic partner” look, thinks it’s hot asf, genuinely thinks you were in Heaven at one point or another because of how undeniably beautiful you are

Angel also enjoys the kickass hater in you, you guys could sit and gossip and talk shit for several hours, but you both kinda keep eachother in check from going too far — especially infront of others

Despite Hazbin being a musical, I’d like to think Angel is canonically a good singer, because cmon, how could he not be with a VA like Blake Roman?? So he could easily sing at and/or for you, bitch would serenade you😩😩

Also bro finds the fact that you hate sharks hilarious asf, I could see him deciding to be a little fucker and getting you a shark plush as a gag/joke gift on Christmas or smth (or I guess Hellsmas?? Idfk.)

#reqs open #x reader #mio’s writing ! ☆#fanfiction #x y/n #x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #angel dust x reader #angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel angel #mio’s matchups ! ☆

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alykatsevents · 2 months

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Can I get a romantic matchup from Hazbin? Here are some informations abt me

Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, I think it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

Style: kinda rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too

Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, bc the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I actually am close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

Likes and dislikes: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on that

My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think maybe ppl that are bigger than me? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

I match you with...

Husk

~He likes listening to you sing

~He doesn't get flustered much but he has a couple times by you

~Both of y'all are skeptical about the whole romance thing, But y'all are trying

~Likes watching movies with you

~Yall are both a bit emotionally stunted, that's okay though

~He loves your style

~He prepares drinks for you

~You do a lot of the talking between you two

~Yall shit talk together

~He likes your sense of humor

#alykat's matchups #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel matchup #hazbin hotel matchups #hazbin hotel husk

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seancamerons · 6 months

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I don't want people to think I am like a bitch.

I find sometimes I can be a little bit opinionated in things I'm passionate about whether I like love or loathe or some gray area of or a love hate relationship about various things whether fictional reality or facts or speculation. I sometimes have realistic expectations or wild idealist ideas too I do not want people to think I'm mean. I'm trying to fill my cup but I can't people please because it's gonna drain me to the point of dehydration and it doesn't do me any good in the end. I've been doing a whole lot of thinking and feeling these days with all the chaos of moving work related things and friends and family across the board and honestly I just don't want others to think I'm mean bc there is still a part of me who hates the idea of people being mad at me or not liking me. It goes back a long time with that overhwling sense that people don't generally care or like me much and it's hard wrestling with that as I reclaim my identity during this transitional time in my life. For the first time in a long time I feel good independent and also significant at once and it'd a good feeling but I have fears and I never thought I'd get to this place. None of what is going on is perfect but I'm working toward goals and becoming more organized and I have lots to say and I just hope I'm not just someone who posts pretty photos arsthetic or all about shows but real things too. My tumblr has been around a long time and has been a window to my world but I feel like I don't matter in the grand scheme if that makes sense but I do it bc I love the vibes and I feel more comfortable here than I do on fb and other places online but I do seem guarded and maybe that can be annoying to some. I think people in general can relate to this bc I doubt I'm the only one.

So maybe I do like to write about things and share thoughts and reblog art and other things from and create bc this like it or not it's a happy place for me and I hope it's around forever. I'm not who I was when I started here and I've learned so much and grew so much and evolved over time and it's cool to see as I sift thru my archive and remember old memories or blogs that disappeared or are inactive but yeah the main take away is I love it here. I feel safe here sharing and maybe it's meant for me to be a blogger maybe not like a popular one or whatever but somebody who is here has seen alot good and bad but like also through the dash day to day see others grow change evolve and change isn't always bad. It can be good. I don't think I should be so fearful of change but rather embrace it and go with the flow and where it takes me as a person. It might have taken me a long time and life isn't a race and I just know some things will never change and I'm always hoping I'm not intimidating or scary to people. I care alot about people. I don't know if there's people afraid of me just know I'm not that way.

This is all a lot of words and rambling at this time. To friends past present and strangers idk could be friendly with in the future I'm around if you wanna talk or to share pretty things or creativity sharing and writing or prose.

Thanks for reading. Love always, Brimi

#personal #thoughts #prose #introspective #retrospective #txt #about me #idk this is rambly #hi

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psalm22-6 · 2 years

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Okay this article is really written by a hater, which makes it kind of funny to me. I looked her up and all I found out about her was that a) she published a guide to restaurants in Paris, b) she was part of a campaign by extreme right-wing newspapers to defame left wing politicians, going as far as disguising herself as an American journalist in order to harass a politician who then killed himself and c) she once pretended to be “an extraordinary psychopathic case” in order to meet Freud. Anyways, here is her review of Raymond Bernard’s Les Misérables

Source: Ric et Rac, 17 February 1934

One must commend Raymond Bernard for having the courage to attack Les Misérables. It’s been too long since I read Victor Hugo’s work to faithfully judge if M. Raymond Bernard succeeded in his audacious enterprise but the hugolatres in my family were emitting awful shouts in leaving the little festival organized by the Natan brother in honor of the film, or rather the three films. The next one will be shown at the Marivaux and the last one at the Marignan. I am afraid that you will not see me in those establishments for some time because the debut film, A Tempest in a Skull, didn’t give me a single desire to know the rest of the disappointments in store for Jean Valjean, Cosette, and the Thénardiers. That being said, I must admit that my neighbors at the Paramount theater were very moved the other night.

“It’s terribly beautiful and that’s it then!” one was saying.

“Me, I find it remuant (sic),” the other one was saying, but who meant to say emouvant [I gather that they said fidgety but meant to say moving].

That’s all true, by the by. But like Les Deux Orpheline, it’s not more or less. That is to say, there’s a certain dose of comedy throughout the drama. You must understand that when I say “drama,” I’m thinking “melodrama.” The impression of “affectation” is certainly from Florelle, who never stops coughing, agonizing and dying. By a curious phenomenon of mimicry, she succeeded in making a good part of the audience cough. You could have said it was a fatal epidemic of bronchitis.

The formidable talent of M. Harry Baur highlights the contrast to the point of cruelty. Harry Baur is Jean Valjean and M. Madeleine and Champmathieu. That a single actor manages to create three characters who are so different is a true tour de force that the public probably doesn’t appreciate enough.

He creates the impression that the shape of his eyes, of his chin, and of his cheeks has changed and that the three characters only share a vague resemblance. I already knew that M. Harry Baur was a great actor. I hadn’t even hoped he’d be this good. His role as Champmathieu particularly is overwhelmingly realistic and colorful. His Champmathieu: we’ve all known someone like him, in the correctional courts, before the justice of the peace, or simply the police.

M. Charles Vanel and M. Charles Dullin are Machiavellian and unlikeable, as befits them but always in a way that is melodramatic, which may not have been necessary.

***

Jean Valjean, a prodigiously strong convict, has just been liberated. He walks, he goes from town to town, flotsam that everyone rejects. Everyone except a brave and saintly man, an archbishop, who offers him hospitality. Jean Valjean immediately rewards him by stealing his silver. . .[skipping most of this because we know the plot] . . .

At the same time, we have been introduced to Fantine, a charming seamstress who, alas! believed the beautiful promises of a man. Fantine is the mother of a charming little girl named Cosette who is put into the care of two innkeepers in Montfermeil, the Thénardiers. This poor girl is right out of Cinderella. She sweeps, she’s smacked around, in short she’s like a sister to the Two Orphans, like I had the honor of telling you earlier. These torturers don’t ask for any less than a big sum of money from the poor little mother, who believes that her daughter is happy and cherished.

I never have understood why Fantine gives her well loved daughter to people she did not know, when it would have been simple to find a nanny near Montreuil. Right? But M. Victor Hugo had to have had his reasons and then, as others have said, “if it wasn’t for that then the story would have been over right away.” . . . [skipping more because the plot summary, goes without commentary all the way to Fantine’s death and Valjean’s escape]. . .

There you have the first part of the tryptic. I said at the beginning of my article what I thought of the interruption. It would be unfair of me to the director and camera operator if I didn’t tell them that certain scenes gave me sea sickness. Why is Fantine, on her death bed, presented like a woman on an ocean liner tilted 45 degrees, suffering pains that we are left to guess at? There is not a single reason to then show us Jean Valjean with his feet on the ceiling and Javert in diagonal. Yet another wrongdoing of Bolshevism! It was the Russians, unless I am mistaken, who first tried to get photos on unexpected planes.

Again, you could say “That’s cinema for you!” But what you cannot say that for, oh! that is the monologues of M. Madeleine. His brand new vocation as great honest man has really turned his head around and the poor man gives long speeches that seem to torment many and which make us suffer even more.

Must I add that with the exception of Henri VIII, with its irresistible colorfulness, “period pieces” always seem disappointing to me. It takes more than hoisting a lantern to the top of a pulley or giving a twisted cane to Javert to recreate the atmosphere. People forget that faces and silhouettes change and that the brave actors of 1934 look more or less like disguises.

It takes the dramatic power of M. Harry Baur to make you forget that. He is the only thing alas! to defend this film.

Odette PANNETIER.

#les miserables #LM 1934 #tw suicide mention #super brief but just in case #my translation

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muutos · 1 year

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🖊 for both Jude and Flora.

*chinhands*

Send me a “🖊+an OC“ and I will talk about that OC! / / @dilffactory

flora is just this like huge catch-all for like, things that i love. imagery, powers, inspiration from my zodiac & like, she's the kind of thing i think of when i think of ideal femininity & in humanity, in terms of being thoughtful & connected, careful while also not losing your spontaneousness or becoming stagnant or boring. she feels like she is all things, and she is feminine in the face of all the ways she isn't. her enormous stature, her unconventional features & wide build. as well at the enormous physical strength she possesses. she's a contrast & somewhat of a good fit for the creature she became. driven by a maternal love & possessiveness over the universe, & her ability to become one with it. she's a balance of darkness, with the light. something else i've come to learn is a balance we all need to find, & her personal beliefs while rooted in empathy & life, does also extend to empathizing with the darkest of creatures. flora is a bright grey area, as she knows that there is no good without evil nor evil without good. she's just a very full soul, & while she's so accomplished -- she still has so much to see, so much to learn. also, monsters are inherently something i've always loved which has attracted me to the ghouls early on. the flowing fabrics, the ethereal beauty one would associate with the birthing of harvests or a being who can summon the rain to quench the thirst of drying children in the earth.

in turn she holds this power so relevant to the church yet again so seemingly a heavenly gift brought to a damned creature. she belongs in hell yet she is wasted there. she's a contradiction that is so right, if you strip away all her surroundings and expectations. you're left with a realist, but a positive life-force with the power of protection, & the capability for vengeance of a scorned mother nature. i also think it's very interesting that the full extent of her power is almost unable to be truly uncovered. she's a healer, a mother, a daughter, a friend. there's something in me that feels every element touches her as the basis for what powers the earth, & is needed for its continued rotation. though i also believe while she is afraid of fire in the traditional sense of one rooted in the ground.

okay, as for judith - okay, so the basis for judith was very much a sort of fleeting one. i think i am a big contrast person, for such a little girl to be able to create such a loud sound, even if it's not with her mouth or with her physical expressions. the idea she could get behind a kit & everyone would smack their jaws on the floor. surprised that someone like her would so much as even fuck with the kind of music she does, let alone play it so seamlessly. drums are my favourite instrument in traditional music, especially what i listen to - & i'm usually very attracted to the drummers in bands in terms of them becoming favorites of mine. & since i do know how to play the bass guitar, the rhythm of songs do mostly interest me. i figured perhaps because of my passion for the instrument itself it would be a good catalyst, & a good angle between the sensible christian girl, & the teenager who wants to experience her life for the first time. also her backstory is somewhat inspired by my favourite drummer, & how he became acquainted with the drums in his school's orchestra, as his parent's were famous in the opera/orchestra scene in europe at the time.

obviously religion is a pretty common theme around here. judith came up after duke, i kind of wanted to explore the other side of the dynamic, & she's ripe for different plots. like slotting her into ghost was so easy, as she yearns for a place where she can be free - but all she knows is the structure of religion and that of her parent's household. i have a preacher's daughter au, an au where she still volunteers at her church into her 20's instead of leaving, or also like you suggested - the christian rock take. the wide eyed lamb out for slaughter trope. i don't play females often, but when i do they're usually very young (younger than me anyway) & mentally unstable, usually manipulated by one or more parents. piper, rae, jude - they all have that vibe. even missy, in a way. just a more hyper feminine lane, like judith.

i also love how jude isn't -- like? the religion isn't stopping her from being who she is. she left the church (or well, kind of) & she realized that she still loves the way she dresses, her style, her hair. she's never changed despite not only her ability to adapt to what's going on around her, but the constant changes & codependent behavior of her mother. despite their being a lot of gaslighting in their relationship not to mention mental gymnastics on jude's part. i'm not sure if she ever develops proper boundaries with maryanne, tbh. i think her father is more likely to never speak to her again, once she leaves their house. i feel like she's really fun to play because despite being naive she's not stupid, so to see her faking something till she makes it versus being herself, around someone?

#misc * / answered #dilffactory #misc * / out of character #<3 <3 #i popped off sorry #lol

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anesumagwiro · 2 years

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The most unprotected person [in America] is a black woman- Malcom X.

I’d just like to extend this and encompass all black women who are oppressed and especially those who live in and/ or come from underprivileged backgrounds.

When you are unprotected, you don’t feel secure. It precisely means there’s substantial lack of security. Now... there are three ways (there’s obviously there’s many more but this is for dramatic effect) a person in this predicament can react. They can fight for their protection, they can become afraid and hide or they can try to appeal to the good conscience of others for help. Hence movements like #BlackLivesMatter.

Yeah.. black lives matter. No shit. But please do point me in the direction of someone who actually has positive things to say about the majority of people in the world. Just look at the comments online. The sheer hate and negativity. In my view .. the world is run by realists and the world is FILLED with realists. The world is saturated with selfish and greedy people who view life from their narrow perspectives and views. The capitalist system which we find ourselves living under thrives on these very “virtues”. Violence is always lurking because other people want to fight fire with fire. That’s realism.

I chose to fight for my protection. There have been countless instances where I’ve waited for someone GOOD to save me and, well, nobody showed up. I tried opening up and was immediately met with mockery and some people wanting to exploit my vulnerability. I tried asking for help but the only catch was that I had to sell my soul. I respectfully declined. I’ve tried hurting myself and they called me crazy. As small as I am, I was put in handcuffs to show how much of a threat I am. Me. The threat. That’s just funny.. I’m actually smiling as I type this.

_________________

We the Cardi B’s and Nicki Minaj’s. Us the bad bitches that cannot be tamed. The wild niggers. The “Angry black women”. We are the product of this fucked-up system. We are survivors. We are fighters. Michael Jackson said “They don’t care about us”. They don’t. The only time I’m respected is when I behave like a NORMAL white woman. So if I’m insecure about the color of my skin or the texture of my hair, kindly get off my dick. I am the product of colonialism and abuse. I am the symptom of the problem.

What of the idealists? What of the peaceful dreamers who just want people to ACT RIGHT and DO GOOD? Idealists, as you may well know, are constantly disappointed. For a long time I thought it was naïveté that makes these people ever trust again. It’s hope. And we sure as fuck need it. As a people and as a race. We.need.hope. Sometimes that’s just all we’ve got. We need people who can see past this nonsense and see the potential for positive times ahead. It is not a weakness to be able to love and trust again despite being hurt time and time again. It takes great strength to have hope. And I know I could use some right about now.

________________________

There was an experiment conducted several decades ago by a scientist in America. This man decided to raise his newborn son the same as an infant monkey... it was about the whole Nature vs Nurture thing. Basically he was trying to see if we are a product of our genetic makeup or our societal conditioning.

(First of all.. I just wanna say... people from long back had BALLS. Nowadays we are all just trying to be politically correct. We are being censored from every direction. Are people really woke? Are we okay? Have we really moved forward? Or have others moved forward at the expense of others? This scientist today could be diagnosed with some mental illness and would never conduct this experiment due to fear, stigma and potential rejection.)

Anyways... about the monkey. Turns out he had adopted this thing of avoiding things that most likely result in pain. He had done something, been punished for it and did not ever want to do that thing again.

Our brains are wired to get us into situations that bring the most pleasure and avoid pain. That’s why we easily become addicted to social media and sugary foods. It’s an evolutionary trait. I’m not a science expert or anything but I watch WAY too many Ted talks so I know what I’m talking about. I think. So yeah... we have leant to do things that will heighten our chances of survival. If you’re weak, you’re done. Your chances of survival are lessened. Nature is brutal, isn’t it?

So if you have been trying several methods of coping and you end up hurt and in pain, your brain just says “WAIT A MINUTE.. let’s try NOT doing that, yeah? We have begged and it hasn’t worked. We have cried and it hasn’t worked.. okay maybe let’s fight back this time... let’s just put up a fight and see what happens. Yes we’re scared but we’re on the verge of not surviving so fuck the fear, yeah? And that’s how I killed someone for the first time in my life. Nah I’m just joking. I haven’t killed anyone. Yet.

I’m joking!! Relax, dude.

Sorry.. I don't have a conclusion.

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merrygomp3 · 3 years

Text

i’m about to vent in the tags, feel free to read if ur a chismosx/e like i am and want to know about a strangers life 🤪

#ive talked about this girl before in the tags so if u keep up with my vents thank u lol #but i met up with my old high school crush who was also my friend #and like how do i even explain it #should i even try to be friends with her like what am i expecting out of this #it’s clear to me that i want her to recíprocate these feelings that i hold #and it’s not gonna happen!!#and like hanging out with her always brings up old insecurities and i hate that #i got a friend group that i made outside of high school and at my city college #and around them i’m comfortable and i’m like is it because i don’t have a crush on any of y’all? lol what is it that makes it hard for me #to be friends with friends from high school? is it seriously because i’m queer? like what the fuck is it she wants me to be part of this #friend group like old times but i always leave these meet ups feeling sad and just out of place #i feel like i’m too much around them esp around her #for it being a queer crush it doesn’t make me feel good. i feel too fat and i feel ugly like why!!!!!!!#like this is one aspect of my life i cant for the life of my figure out. why can’t i move on why can’t i tell her i hold these feelings for #her even after all this time and that she makes me feel bad abojt myself #and i know it’s a me problem i completely get that #but jesus why the fuck do i feel too ‘other’ around her and why am i trying to heal that by hoping for her romantic feelings back for me #i know my answer is that i need to move the fuck on and away from hee #but i don’t want to and i need to understand why #am i afraid to find someone who could realistically care for me? and love me and i can love back without shame?#there is no hope there so why am i looking for? what am i waiting for to come out of it #god i’m not gonna beg for love because i am worth of love esp romantic love #so i don’t want to beg for her love because she’s not gonna give it #and i don’t want it anymore god i don’t want it #i want to love freely and unashamedly and it can’t be with her i realize that now #so it’s time for me to move on i have to i do #i hate that she tried to incorporate me into her friend group again and again i can’t do this again #it’s so obvious that i’m outta place why keep trying to incorporate me #why give me this hope we had stopped talking and she sent me a letter god damn it #she opened up old feelings of love and hate and i don’t want that

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thebibliosphere · 3 years

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So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After.

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting.

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom.

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man.

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms...

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful.

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual.

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

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k-dokja · 2 years

Text

STATUS QUO — Realistically, you didn't know if it would work otherwise.

“Why aren't you dating Eli?”

Sally was out of nowhere with that. You didn't even understand where it came from. Frankly, she should've provided context if she wanted an answer immediately. Going about it this way only had you immensely confused.

Not to mention, between assuring yourself that Yenna won't crawl down the couch and checking your phone for new messages, you weren't entirely there. “Is that an actual question or a rhetorical one?”

“Actual,” at least she was helpful with clueing you in.

“Simple,” you shrugged, “we don't see each other that way.”

You thought the matter would drop there, but your answer had her shuddered. Out of nowhere, again. Maybe there was something you were missing.

“What we?” Sally snorted. “Couldn’t you see he was smitten with you?”

To be fair, you didn't entirely hear her questions. Yenna was tugging on your shirt and gabbled incoherent words about her new toy friend. A hand-knitted plush you did for her only the week prior. She had become quite attached to it and you have decided whatever she wanted to tell you were far superior to Sally's current vexation.

No offence intended, of course. You simply knew your priority. “I’m afraid you're mistaken?” You smiled when Yenna giggled cheerfully, she must've thought you were talking to her. “I don't see how you came to that conclusion.”

As you continued to maintain a bright facade for Yenna, you could feel Sally's patience thinning. No one could blame her, you were in a special situation.

All because of your own doing.

“He spent all of his free time with you, catering to your every need, hugging you in greeting, massaging your feet after you two spent a day out together, know your exact tea preferences,” Sally went on with her list, but you didn't find anything amiss, “half of these don't sound like what normal, platonic friends would do.”

Her frustration was clear, but so were Yenna's beautiful eyes. You'd buy this girl this world if possible. She was adorable. Still, you were in the middle of a conversation. It'd be impolite to leave Sally hanging.

“Wouldn’t Warren do the same for you?”

Sally bristled. “I mean—”

“Mhm," it appeared that got you the upper hand.

Hopefully, it will get her to drop the conversation.

“Don’t try to turn this on me.” Sally protested and you felt foolish to even hope. “Me and Warren—”

“Warren and I.” You corrected.

“Warren and I are nothing like the two of you. If you're going to turn him down then do it already, stop stringing him along.”

You hummed but much of your attention remained on Yenna. The sight of her soothed your soul more than you could say, especially when the topic Sally brought up was a touchy one. “Listen,” you said, “Eli likes the idea of Yenna having a mom, not who I am as a person. There's nothing more to that.”

Before Sally could argue once more, you raised one silencing finger before lifting Yenna up and dropping her on your lap. At least, that'd bate away your anxiety about her falling from the couch.

“Besides, if he could find someone else to fill the position... there'd be no need for me in his life and... I would have no reason to stick around either.” You bounced Yenna on your lap, your smile mysterious. “Unless she wants me around, of course.”

Sally gaped. Then closed her mouth, then opened it again. It was comical to you, like watching a fish caught on land. “...You’re cold, you know that?”

All that struggle only to state the obvious. You couldn't help but laugh a little. “All rich people are sociopaths,” you said, “you should take care to remember that.”

Just as the words slipped past your lips, Yenna let out a loud yawn that cut down whatever was left of the conversation. You couldn't help but melt a little when she rubbed her eyes. The long day had worn your little angel out, it was time for you to put her to bed.

You scooped Yenna into your arms and pushed yourself up with surprising grace. It was when you looked up that you remembered Sally was standing there still. A look of defeat remained on her face.

You could only nod, because what else could you do? Your worldview and hers were too different, and you knew Eli was closer to hers than yours. At the end of the day, keeping him at a distance was better than letting him venture into the unknown.

Because even with you holding his hand, it'd be a den of vipers he'd walk into. You didn't have the heart to watch him get hurt because you weren't willing to stop him from the beginning.

It would only be prudent to let nothing further develop from this. You would've been fine with that.

But... life was seldom that simple.

You could see as much when you stepped out of the living room. None other than the boy himself was out there, facing you.

Eli stood frozen in the hallway close to where you exit from, there was no doubt he had heard everything. You didn't regret anything you've said, but the look in his eyes almost cracked you.

“I...”

You could see it coming.

The argument that you assumed him wrong, the desperation to prove that he would never replace you, the confession that his feeling didn't stop at like but had progressed to love.

But you wouldn't give him the chance.

You walked past him, Yenna held in your arms. “Yenna’s sleepy,” you told him, as a courtesy, “I’m going to tuck her in.”

With that, whatever word intended to pass his lips died in the air.

You didn't dare to look back to see how his eyes followed you.

#eli jang #eli jang x reader #lookism #lookism x reader #fics

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asweetprologue · 3 years

Text

Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again.

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings.

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily.

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates.

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

#geraskier #geraskier fic recs #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #witcher #fic recs #fic rec #I'm certain i missed a lot of good ones I've read over the years but I didn't want to risk making this super fucking long anyways #if you didn't see your name listed it isn't bc I don't adore you and your fics it's because i'm stupid <333

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its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons · 4 years

Text

The Brother’s Reaction to MC having a Nightmare

bAby

this gif... holy SHIT

Lucifer

Whether you started the evening snuggled up under his chin or all alone in your room, he’s an extremely light sleeper since he’s got to keep an ear out for Mammon being stupid at 2 am

So when you start to move restlessly and/or whimper and cry, naturally he’ll awaken and see what the issue is

Lucifer will sit up and gently rest a tentative hand on your trembling shoulder, so as not to startle you

His presence only seemed to make it worse! Your tears got bigger and your cries got louder, your breathing became more uneven until you woke with a start, your own shrill scream scaring you into a frightened, crying ball in front of him

Boi is at a loss…

Was this his fault?

“MC, darling, what has gotten into you? Are you alright?”

“L-Lucifer?” You whimper, watery eyes roving aimlessly in the darkness “L-L-Lucifer?! Where are-”

Wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close, he reassures you: “I’m here, right here princess,” “I’ve got you, it was just a dream MC... nothing to worry about.”

Strokes your head, smoothing your rumpled hair and supporting your back while you hide your puffy, tearstained face in his collar and cling to him for dear life until you calm down

You’re still shaking when the usually stiff demon presses a kiss to the crown of your head and begins to rock from side to side, murmuring gentle, reassuring words in your ear

“Nothing can hurt you as long as you’re in my arms, MC.” “Deep breaths my love, deep breaths…”

Mammon’s vivid scary stories before bed had obviously been a bad decision, Lucifer decided as he dabbed your cheeks with a kleenex

his poor, sweet human having nightmares about silly campfire tales…

How endearing, yet upsetting

He’ll carry you to the kitchen bridal style and hold you close after getting you a glass of water, then carry you back to bed and tuck you safely against his broad chest for the rest of the night making a mental note to hang Mammon upside down from the banister the following morning

Mammon

He woke up from his dream about goldie who had read “∞” on the ATM and opened his door in answer to the frantic knock to find his favorite human crying

You rushed into his arms, burying your face in his chest to hide your shuddering sobs, nearly sending the now blushing Avatar of Greed off balance in your haste

“Jeez, human! Wha… What happened? Why’re ya crying like that?”

No, like seriously, plz stop crying babie or he’s gonna cry too

Returns the hug, holding MC firmly as he regains his footing and manages to shut the door behind you

“MC, sssh, I’m right here! You don’t hafta worry, ok? Luckily you’ve got the best demon on the job to make ya feel better! Hug me as hard as ya need, ok?”

*forehead and cheek smooches*

Lets you curl up in his lap until you can talk to him without stuttering or choking on tears

Holds you the whole time, almost as if he’s afraid to let go for fear you’ll cry again

“Bad dream? What was it about?”

“Th-Those characters from Levi’s horror game w-were eating you alive and I c-couldn’t move!” You whimper tearfully, “You were begging me for help a-and I couldn’t do anything to save you from them because every time I moved th-these ropes got t-tighter around my neck a-an-”

First of all, he’s horrified that Levi showed you those games when he knew they gave you nightmares. Unfortunately, you had to if you didn’t want to be called a normie for the billionth time that week

Second, he, the great Mammon, begging a mere human for help? Yeah right

Even though he knew in his heart of hearts that that would definitely be the case

“They’re not real, remember that. And if you still think those freaks are lurking in the dark, come find me and the great Mammon will protect you!”

You can't help but giggle and hug him more tightly, knocking him back onto his pillow

Neither of you felt like moving, so Mammon pulls the sheets up over your shoulders and you snuggle together until the morning comes

At the breakfast table, Mammon doesn’t hesitate to screech at Levi for giving you nightmares while cradling your tired, sleep-deprived body against him

Leviathan

Doesn’t hear MC’s knock at first, he’s too absorbed in the 14th episode of I Was Eating Avocado Salmon Sushi at a Hundred-Yen Revolving Sushi Restaurant When Suddenly I Was Thrown Back in Time a Thousand Years to the Heian Era, Where I Was Selected to Be a Personal Chef for a Princess and Was Later Chosen as a Possible Candidate to Be Her Husband… Now someone Please Tell Me How That’s Even Possible

As the knocking gets louder and more frantic, the otaku finally notices and pauses the anime, goes to the door and opens it a tiny bit

Just enough to see the teary-eyed MC, hugging their waist in discomfort, shivering in fear, and looking left and right down the hall for danger

“... Yeah?”

“L-Levi? C-Can I come in? *sniff* I just had a really scary dream-”

“I-uh… Ummm I g-guess,”

He lets you in and on a whim, places a tentative hand on your back

He expected you to push him away, but when you choked and rushed into his half-open arms and buried your face in his chest, leviachan.exe has stopped working

EXIT

What was he supposed to do with his hands?!?!??

MC was crying and he was just standing there like a normie? Wh… WhAt wOULd HenRy dO?

“MC, h-hey, it cant’ve been that bad… here, um let’s s-sit down a-and you can talk to me. Sound good?”

He feels you nod and leads you to his large gaming beanbag chair and you get squooshed against his side, shivering and sniveling, but warm and safe

Levi dries your face with the edge of his shirt and after a few moments of comfortable silence, you begin to explain your dream

The slimy creatures scaling the walls of the House of Lamentation with their slimy entrails dripping whitish goo in their wake. Eight spindly legs to each monster, sixteen sinister red eyes, and countless rows of gleaming fangs ready to take a chunk out of anyone who came too close

They managed to get into the house and they chased you and the brothers, but the otaku had tripped over a fallen suit of armor and a spider creature made its move before he could get away

At that point, you’d woken up absolutely terrified and rushed to see if Levi was ok

“But you’ve played horror games with me and we watched My Sister and I Found a Spider and Took It Home, Realizing Soon After it Was a Demon Who Eventually Escaped From the Glass Jar We Used for a House and Ate Our Toes, Transporting Us To Hell Where We Were F-”

“Yeah… I know… B-But it wasn’t that bad. I was reading one of the books Satan recommended. It was a really well-written horror story and it had very realistic pictures. I just can’t seem to get those gross monsters out of my head:(”

Your voice slowly trailed off and Levi realized what he had accomplished

You… You weren’t crying anymore!!

Also, you weren’t breathing really hard or shaking too much! Had… had this yucky otaku really calmed the human down?

*gasp* he was rubbing your back too!? And you hadn’t slapped his icky hands away?

You… you were ok with this? B-Being all snuggled up together on the beanbag chair?

“L-Levi, I-I’m ok now. I’ll leave you alone… I hope I didn’t wake you up…”

“N-No!”

“Something wrong?”

“No… I-um,” (he couldn’t let you get away now! This was perfect! He had you all to himself!! No WAY was he gonna screw this up!!) “You c-can stay a little longer if you’d like… I-I was in the middle of I Was Eating Avocado Salmon Sushi at a Hundred-Yen Revolving Sushi Restaurant When Suddenly I Was Thrown Back in Time a Thousand Years to the Heian Era, Where I Was Selected to Be a Personal Chef for a Princess and Was Later Chosen as a Possible Candidate to Be Her Husband… Now someone Please Tell Me How That’s Even Possible… Do you maybe want to stay and watch?”

“You don’t mind? I don’t want to intrude-”

“No! It’s fine!”

And so he fumbled with the remote and hit the play button, but couldn’t focus on a single word the protagonists were saying

You. Fell. Asleep.

On. Him.

“Maybe… Maybe MC doesn’t think I’m a… ‘yucky otaku’ after all… But don’t get your hopes up, Levi.”

Satan

He fell asleep in his chair, book resting on his chest when he heard a short, quick (almost frantic) string of taps on his door

Being a light sleeper (just like his papa), he immediately woke up to hear your voice on the other side of the door

“Satan? Are… Are you awake? *sniffle*”

It was you

What could you possibly want at this hour?

Upon opening the door, your body crashed into his own, but not before impulsively throwing your arms around his neck and breaking down on his shoulder

“M-MC? Are you alright?”

No, you weren’t

Judging by your stormy sobs and trembling figure, something must have shaken you up horribly for you to act like this

The sweet MC he knew usually kept their cool

He leads you to his big armchair and sits you down, careful to keep a firm hand on your back for support, both emotional and physical

Your eyes were wide and glassy, pupils darting to each corner of the room looking for monsters, bad demons, giant bugs, etc.

Finding none, you finally make shy eye contact with the blonde demon who has kept his arms close about you and dabbed your endless tears away until you were calm enough to speak

“MC, did you have a night terror or something?”

“*sniffle* M-hm. I-I’m sorry S-Satan, I was just so scared I c-couldn’t stay in my room all alone and you were the first person I thought of. So… I ran here. Did I wake you?”

“I fell asleep in my chair again MC. So I would have awakened during the night anyway,” He replied, “Plus, I don’t mind at all. I’m… I’m happy you came. What was your dream about?”

“It was really twisted… are you sure you want to know?”

“You’ll feel better when you talk about it and I’m always up for a story.” He smiled.

He sat back in his chair tentatively resting your head on his chest as you began describing the terrors from only minutes before

“Asmodeus and I, we watched some of those cringey teen romance movies this afternoon and somehow they morphed into a really scary dream. You and I, the rest of your brothers, the angels, Solomon, Diavolo, and even Barbatos were playing spin the bottle for some reason and I landed on you, but when I kissed you, you turned to dust! Th-Then when I landed on Mammon and Beel, the s-same thing happened again, but no one seemed to notice! Th-”

Noticing you were getting worked up again, Satan rubbed soothing circles into your back, hushing you gently and assuring you that everything was fine and ‘innocent’ kissing games weren’t actually deadly

Unless they were

But he didn’t mention that to you at that moment

Instead, he cradled you in his lap and read to you until your eyelids began to droop once more for some much-needed sleep

Being the good boy he is, he tucked you into his bed

BUT

Before he could walk back to his chair

“Satan, aren’t… aren’t you gonna lay with me?” You ask, tired, sweet voice ringing in his ears, “I-If you don’t mind that is. I mean it is your bed, after all, I didn’t mean t-”

He’s blushing up to his ears at your request, but nonetheless rolls onto the mattress next to you and you snuggle up close and fall asleep almost instantly

“As long as you’re here with me, you’ll be safe MC.”

Asmodeus

Why… Why was he up so early? What was that noise? Wait… Where were you?

He could’ve sworn he fell asleep with you in his arms

Sitting up groggily he looked around after rubbing the crust of sleep from his eyes

Something was moving and whimpering next to him, caught in a snare of fluffy blankets

The fearful cries of “Asmodeus! Oh, Asmo please don’t die! No, no, no, NO!!” broke the sweet demon’s heart

Your ragged breathing turned to a blood-curdling scream and you shot upright, but the blankets blocking your vision increased your tearful unease tenfold and you began struggling even harder against them

Taking action, Asmo tugged at the sheets, doing everything he could to help you

When your face emerged from the heap, you took a great gasp of air and immediately began sobbing your heart out

Asmo paused, knowing it unwise to approach someone who’d just escaped the clutches of a nightmare, but he couldn’t just sit there and stare at you!

Luckily, you chose that moment to look around

Your eyes met his amber ones in the semi-darkness and you tackled him, wrapping him in an impossibly tight hug

“A-ASMO!”

“Darling, wh-”

“Oh my god! I thought I killed you! I r-ruined your pretty face! You just sh-shriveled up a-and-”

“Sweetheart, hey~” He murmured, closing his arms around your back and cradling the back of your head in his hand, “Don’t cry anymore, Asmo’s here…”

His gentle comforting coos as he rocked from side to side brought your tears to a halt and soon you were able to look him in the face

Your glassy, frightened eyes had almost a look of reverence when you ever so slightly cupped your palm over his cheek, afraid he would crumble away at your caress once more

When he didn’t, you let out a shaky sigh of relief and visibly relaxed; shoving your face in his shoulder and wrapping your legs and arms around him so he couldn’t escape

It was quiet for a moment

Asmodeus settled his forearms around your waist and said

“Dearest, are you alright?”

“I… I don’t know.” You fisted his shirt in your palms and looked at him, “That was a really vivid one.”

“Tell me what it was about!” He smiled sympathetically and stroked your cheek, “I have bad dreams sometimes too, MC. If you tell me yours I’ll tell you a few of mii-iiine!”

You couldn’t help but crack a small grin as his sweet tone and nod

“Yesterday Beel told me about the one time he touched Satan’s favorite plant. He’d seen Satan pet the stalk and petals before and he wanted to do it too. (Satan is a plant dad, fight me) But when he touched it, it shriveled up and died on the spot. I… I had a dream where I touched you and you shriveled up! I tried to help you, but every time I touched you, you screamed in pain! Then… Then you died in my arms and I woke up.”

You clung to the demon as he moved, lost in thought. Settling back into the abundant pillows and tugging a sheet over your shoulders, he began to speak

“That sounds absolutely terrifying! What would you do without me?”

“Asmo…”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” He nuzzled your cheek and hugged you tighter, “Why don’t we find a way to help you forget about it? I have a couple of suggestions… if you’d like to hear them~”

Beelzebub

He’d only been gone for a minute… or four… maybe five…? Right?

Why were you writhing around like that? You sounded like a lost little puppy and… were those tears?

“MC? Are you awake?”

No reply, just your continued whines of discontent and a steady stream of tears soaking the pillow

He dropped his snacks on the floor and carefully knelt on the edge of the mattress, putting a gentle hand on your forehead

Lucifer used to do that when he was sick, long ago when they still lived in the celestial realm. Maybe it would help you? Somehow? Hopefully?

The strangled sob that fell from your lips as you forced his hand away broke his big heart in two

Hold on, your eyes were closed! Wait, you were having a bad dream!

Throwing all caution to the wind (and not knowing the consequences of waking someone in this state) and began shaking you rather roughly, scaring you awake and making you bonk heads when you sat up too quickly

Now you were crying for more reasons than one

Your head hurt, two big scary hands had your shoulders in a tight grip, there was a large figure looming over you in the dark, your dream was still raging and replaying in your head, and it was really dark and uncomfortably warm

Even in the dim light, Beel witnessed the look of pure terror that crossed your face

You thought his heart was broken? Well it just fucking shattered

You were scared? Of him?

“MC, it’s just me! Don’t be afraid!”

He’d woken you up, but apparently he’d only made things worse…

Beel is vewy sowwy :(

Those lovely amethyst eyes…

“B… Beeley?”

“MC? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I didn-”

You silence the ginger demon by throwing yourself into his arms in unparalleled relief, afraid you hadn’t really woken up and the shadow of your favorite brother was just MC’s Nightmare, Continued

Happy you’re in his arms, he squeezes back with all his might and burying his face in your shoulder

“I just had the worst nightmare Beel. I’m so happy you’re here…” You murmur, wiping your nose on your sleeve.

“Is your head ok?”

“M-hm.”

The pair of you sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, Beel offers you a tissue to dry your face, but you can’t seem to stop crying

“MC, maybe if you told me about it, you’d feel better!”

His sweet, honest smile made you melt

But the contents of your dream… You looked guiltily toward the bed on the other side of the room where you knew the Avatar of Sloth was sleeping peacefully

“You… You promise not to tell Belphie?”

“What do you mean?”

“W-Well I dreamt about that time… you know… when he killed me? He gave me a hug before bed like he always does a-and I love Belphie’s hugs but I can’t help but think about... that. I feel bad, it’s the same as holding a grudge! I’m sorry Beel.”

*insert pikachu face meme* = beel

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault you had the dream.”

“I know… I feel bad though. Did I wake you up?” You ask, changing the subject.

“Nuh-uh. I was already up grabbing snacks.” He pointed to the untidy pile a few feet away. “Maybe some TSL and food will bring your smile back. Don’t worry about your dream MC, the secret is safe with me. Plus, you’re only human and I guess being killed would be really scary for you. I didn’t protect you that time, but if anyone ever tries to hurt you again, I’ll be there before you can say Burgers from Akuzon, ok?”

The smile lifts your lips before he finishes his sentence warms his heart and puts a happy smile on his own as you give him a final squeeze and whisper

“Thanks a lot, Beeley.”

Belphegor

It is said the Avatar of Sloth could sleep through anything, even the loudest storm and the echoes of 4th of July from the human world

But when the precious human cuddled up in his arms every night begins to move around and/or whimper in fear, Belphegor is awake in minutes only to find you squirming away from him and begging to some invisible entity “Just… Just d-don’t hurt them! I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, please don’t hurt me I-”

The seventh born is squeezing your hand and whispering encouragement in your ear, telling you you’re safe and that it’s just a dream

Slowly opening your eyes you look around, still terrified and jumpy from your vision, but the warm hand intertwined with yours and the comforting arm around your back, plus the familiar scents of the twins’ room slowly bring you back to reality

“MC?”

“Belphie? I-Is that you?”

“Who else would it be, dummy.”

You ignore the half hearted insult and bury your face in his chest, allowing your heart to reach a normal pace and his natural scent and warmth to wash over you

“Tell me about it. Sounded pretty scary.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up Belphie, I know how you hate losing sleep…”

“Just… Be quiet and tell me your dream!”

“S-Sorry… Um, so I didn’t know you too well yet and an angel came and took the precious grimoire, but me and Beel were caught up in it and there was this whole thing with Purgatory Hall and Luke and-”

“Your stories can put me right to bed you know that? Anyway, so what happened? Did Lucifer tear the angel’s head off?” He looked rather hopeful…

“Of course not! Lucifer was gonna make me choose who I wanted to save, either Beel or Luke and I didn’t want either of them to get hurt so I said ‘both’ and Lucifer got really mad and scary and in my dream he ended up hurting Luke and Beel and he would’ve gotten me if you hadn’t woken me up.”

“You’re welcome.”

“... *sigh* Thanks for listening Belphie.”

With a sigh of his own, he pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on your shoulder

“It was just a dream. You don’t have to be afraid, you know. I’m right here for you. Always.”

“Aww, than-”

“Forget I said that! Shut up and go to sleep!”

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