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#always willing to bleed for the winchesters!
keiththecat · 9 months
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Trading Hurts
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Female Reader (You)
Summary: You're a lifelong hunter, and you help out the Winchester brothers, saving Sam's life and risking your own. Your fast feelings for Sam scare you and you run away. What will happen when you run into the brothers again?
Word Count: 3.8k
Warnings: 18+, series typical violence and monsters, weapons, hurt/comfort, medical procedures, cursing
Author's Note: Hello friends! Second ever fic here. Had to show some love for the other Winchester brother too! As always, Y/N is your name, and feedback is always welcome. Thanks for reading <3
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any of the related characters. The Supernatural series is created by Eric Kripke and owned by The CW Network. This work of fan fiction is for entertainment only. I am not making a profit of any kind from this story. All rights of the original Supernatural series belong to The CW Network.
AO3 link here
“Sam! Look out!” Dean yells as he sinks his silver blade into the heart of the werewolf he’s been wrestling.
Sam is standing over a werewolf he just killed. He turns around to see why Dean yelled, feeling claws tear the flesh on his left side as he turns. His right hand goes to the wound, his knife falls from his left hand, and he makes eye contact with the wolf as it roars. The roar quickly turns into a look of confusion and hurt before the wolf collapses in front of Sam. Behind the wolf, you are left standing in front of Sam, smirk on your face and blood-covered knife in hand, “Hi, I’m Y/N. Looked like you could use some help.”
“Yeah. Thanks. I’m Sam.” Sam says, still holding his side. Damn, she’s gorgeous, he thinks to himself.
“Not a probl-“ you’re cut off by a werewolf suddenly behind you, grabbing you by the neck and throwing you into a nearby tree. Everything goes black. 
The next thing you know, your eyes snap open in the back of a car. Your head is propped up by something warm and you feel like you can’t breathe. Your body is in so much pain, it feels like you’re on fire. You start to panic, willing your body to move to find a way out.
“Hey, no, you’re okay,” Sam’s face comes into view above you. You realize your head is propped up on his lap and he’s trying to hold your arms down so you don’t flail around. “I need you to look at me and take a second, Y/N.”
You try to calm down. You look into his hazel eyes and your mind tries to catch up. Well, you think, if this is how I go, at least I get to look into a touch of Heaven first. 
You try to remember how you got here. “Right,” you start, voice raspy, “werewolves. Winchesters.”
Sam’s eyebrows furrow, “You know who we are?”
You nod and then wince when it causes a jolt of pain like lightning through you. 
“Sorry, right, not important right now,” his voice continues, “you’re injured pretty badly. We’re on our way to the hospital to get-”
“No!” You cut him off. “Please, no hospitals.”
“Okay, okay,” Sam takes your hand in his, then makes eye contact with his brother who’s driving. “No hospital.” He looks back at you, “Can we at least take you to our bunker to-“
“Sammy,” Dean warns. “We don’t even know her, you want to take her to the bunker?”
“What other option do we have, Dean? Cas is busy and not answering. She’s injured because she saved me!”
“Uh, hello? I’m right here.” You interject awkwardly. “You can just drop me at my motel room, I’m sure I’ve dealt with worse alone before.”
“No, we’re taking you to our bunker and doing what we can to fix you up. It’s the least we can do.” Sam leaves no room for argument. Dean grumbles under his breath in the front seat but keeps driving.
You try to mentally take stock of your injuries. Hm, you think, definitely a few broken or at least bruised ribs. Probably a concussion. I feel wet and sticky so I’m sure I’m bleeding somewhere but must not be too bad since I’m still alive. For now, at least, I guess.
Sam continues holding your hand and mindlessly running his fingers through your hair until the car eventually stops and is shut off. Dean gets out of the car first, “I’ll get stuff set up in the infirmary.”
Sam eases himself out from under your head, then turns back toward you. “Can I, um-“ he reaches his arms toward you.
“Carry me? I can probably walk.” You start to sit up, but you’re hit with a tidal wave of nausea and fall back to the seat. You take as deep a breath as you can manage, pushing the nausea away as best you can, “Okay, maybe not. Would you mind?”
“No, no, not at all,” he insists. Suddenly you’re in his arms, he’s walking, and you’re wondering what kind of muscles he has hidden under all that plaid. He laughs under his breath a little, cheeks and ears turning red. You realize you must have wondered out loud. “Sorry,” you say, turning to hide your face against his shoulder.
“It’s okay,” he says. “Probably the best compliment I’ve had in a while.”
He makes his way to what you assume is the infirmary. Dean is setting out supplies for bandages, stitches, and wound cleaning next to an old cot. Sam gently places you down on the cot. “Are you okay with me checking out your wounds and cleaning you up some?”
You respond in the affirmative. Dean is standing a few feet away, leaning against another cot, staring at you. “So how long have you been a hunter? What’s your deal?”
“Dean,” Sam says, and fixes him with a look. “Can’t this wait?”
“It’s fine, Sam,” you touch his arm. You lean forward, reach over, grab shears and hand them to Sam. “Start with my back, it hurts the worst.”
Sam looks at you for a moment, then gets to work cutting your shirt open from behind. He sucks in a breath through his teeth. “How’s the damage back there, Sam?” You ask.
“Well, you’re definitely gonna hurt for a while. I’ll have to stitch a few wounds back here, and you’re already bruising.” He prods his way down your back on each side, “Feels like a few broken ribs, too.”
You realize you’ve had your eyes closed, relaxing to his voice even as he delivers the news. “I figured. Just do what you can please.”
Sam starts cleaning and stitching what he can. You explain that you’ve been a hunter since birth, your mother dying in childbirth and your now deceased father raising you in the hunting life until he died when you were barely a teen. Then you tell them how Bobby Singer has treated you like his own. 
“How come we’ve never ran into you before then? We’re at Bobby’s all the time.” Dean asks, still seeming skeptical.
“I haven’t been back there in years. Even when I was there, I stayed for a few hours max. I keep busy,” you explain, “I didn’t grow up in one place, so it always felt weird to stay stagnant. Felt dangerous.”
“Like things could catch up to you if you stopped moving,” Sam says quietly from behind you, his large but gentle hands continuing to sew a large gash down your back from the tree. You nod as best you can without making the pain worse.
“Alright,” Dean says, “you can stay as long as you want. At least stay until you’re healed. The place is warded, you’ll be safe here. You got this, Sammy?”
“Yeah, we’ll be good.”
“Alright, I’m gonna go clean the blood out of Baby and hit the hay.” Dean leaves, throwing a wave over his shoulder.
“Baby? I assume that’s his car?” You ask.
Sam laughs lightly, “yeah.”
Silence passes between you two, but it doesn’t feel awkward. Sam finishes with your back, and then you feel him gently place something over your back, his hand lingering on your shoulder for a moment. You’re hit with a wave of his smell, and you realize he placed his plaid shirt on you. He comes around in front of you, now in a short sleeve black V neck that lets you see exactly how ripped he is. Holy muscles, you think, so that’s how he carried me so easily.
“I’m pretty sure you have a concussion too. You seem to be okay mentally so far, but let’s keep it that way, yeah?”
You laugh a little, looking away shyly to break your stare, “yeah, sounds good to me. Thanks, Sam.”
“No, thank you for saving me.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, do you need stitched up too? He scratched you before I got him, didn’t he?” You reach for his side, mentally smacking yourself for forgetting.
“No, no, I’m okay. Not deep enough to need stitches, I don’t think.” He brushes you off, glancing down at his side where the shirt is torn, long but thin scratches peeking out underneath. 
“If you say so. But seriously, thank you. You definitely saved me back there.” You say, slowly getting yourself up. He reaches out to place a hand under your elbow, helping to steady you once you’re on your feet. Your hand falls to his bicep, and you bring your other hand to rest on his chest. “Damn, you’re built like a tree. Is that a Winchester thing?”
Sam bursts into laughter, his adorable dimples bracketing the most gorgeous smile you think you’ve ever seen. His cheeks and ears are turning red again. “Aw, is Samuel blushing?” You tease.
This was the start of your crush. Except you couldn’t even call it a crush, you were instantly head over heels in love with the taller Winchester. It hit you like a hurricane. So sweet, attentive, selfless, and that’s not even mentioning his smoking hot body. Silky chestnut hair, deep hazel eyes full of emotion. But instead of giving in to the temptation and telling him how you feel, you left just two days later. You couldn’t bear the thought of being rejected by him, or of being so close to him but so distant at the same time. So you asked Dean to drive you while Sam was out on a run, not wanting to have to say goodbye to him. Dean took you back to your motel and your belongings, leaving you with nothing more than a “call if you need anything” and his number. You’ve kept in contact with Dean, mostly sending memes and jokes to each other, and doing your best to not ask about his brother. Turns out Dean has a knack for dad jokes, sending you at least one a day, more if he thought you were having a bad day. You’d consider him your best friend, even though he’s really the only person you talk to anymore besides Bobby on occasion. Dean has come a long way from his skepticism when you burst into their lives, considering you like the sister he never had.
Now, four months later, you have run into the brothers again. You’re in a small town in Missouri hunting some vampires, when you spot the Winchesters walking into a diner.
“Hey, tall and taller, got room at your table for one more?” You call out.
The brothers turn around, confused. Dean’s eyes lock onto you first, and he opens his arms for a hug. “Hey, loser, what are you doing here?” He asks. 
You jog a few steps, falling into his arms for a few seconds. “Hunting some suckers. Guessing you’re here for the same?”
“Actually yeah, wanna save little Sammy’s ass again like last time?” Dean jokes, his eyes lit up in mirth.
Sam shakes his head, lips pressed together, rolling his eyes. “That was one time, it won’t happen again. And since when are you guys close? You disappeared months ago, Y/N. We haven’t heard from you.”
“Yeah, sorry, I, uh, got called away for something,” you lie, hoping Sam won’t notice and Dean won’t call you out. “Dean and I have kept in touch though.” You playfully hit Dean on the shoulder.
Sam tries not to feel hurt that you have talked to his brother all this time but not him. And you’ve clearly talked enough to get close, Dean doesn’t hug just anyone.
“Well, come on,” Dean says, throwing an arm around your shoulders, “I’m starved.”
You all make your way inside, sitting at a booth. The boys sit on opposite sides, and you debate who to sit next to for a moment too long, then you slide in next to Dean. Sam notices your hesitation, but buries his face in the menu.
You all order and eat your meal, sharing stories about all the hunts you’ve had in the last few months. 
“No wonder we’ve had it easier recently, Dean. You didn’t tell me Y/N was taking care of so much,” Sam says.
“Didn’t think it mattered,” Dean says, mouth full of pie. “Asshats got ganked, people got saved.”
“Yeah but we could have helped out more.”
“I was fine, Sam. I like keeping busy, remember?” You say, then turn to Dean, “Speaking of, do you know yet where we’re looking here?”
Sam speaks up before Dean can, “actually yeah. We’ve narrowed it down to two warehouses on the outskirts. We’re planning to go check them out after we get a room.”
“Perfect,” you state, looking at Sam. “You boys wanna ride together from the motel since we’re all going to the same place?”
“Sounds good,” Dean says.
You all get up and leave, piling into your cars and going down the street to a motel. The boys get a double room to share like always, you get a neighboring single. You go into your respective rooms to gear up for the hunt.
“What the hell, dude?” Sam says as soon as the door is closed behind Dean. 
“What?”
“Y/N is who you’ve been texting all the time? Why didn’t you tell me?” Sam asks, clearly hurt.
Dean looks at Sam for a moment before understanding crosses his face. “Oh, you’ve got it bad, huh? Here, you want her number?” He pulls out his phone to pull up her contact and passes it to Sam.
“No, that’s- well, yes, but-“ Sam stumbles over his words.
“Look, it’s not like that with us, Sammy. We’re friends. That’s it.”
“Oh.” Sam lets that sink in and runs his hands through his hair.
“Yeah. So relax, she’s all yours. At least, she hasn’t mentioned being with anyone. I’d doubt she had time for it with the constant hunts she’s had. She’s worse than either of us have ever been with needing to keep moving.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” Sam says, saving her number in his phone and giving Dean’s back to him. 
“Well?” Dean asks.
“What?”
“Text her. Say it’s in case we get split up or something. Make up an excuse. Give her your number or I will.” Dean insists.
“Okay, okay, get off my back about it then, yeah?” Sam says. Dean throws his hands up in surrender, turning away to rummage through his duffel.
[Sam 5:55PM : Hey, it’s Sam. Dean gave me your number. Wanted you to have mine just in case]
A full minute passes, and Sam wonders if she will even respond. Then his phone dings with a notification.
[Y/N 5:56PM : Got it. Good thinking. You boys ready?]
[Sam 5:56PM : Yup, meet you at the Impala?]
[Y/N 5:57PM : Sure thing, Sammy Boy ;)]
Well, Sam thinks, I guess the winky face is a good sign? Maybe she does like me?
“You ready, Dean?” Sam asks, heading for the door.
“Let’s do this,” Dean says, grabbing Baby’s keys.
*
Half an hour later, you’re all sitting in the Impala outside the second warehouse. The first was empty except for rats and dust, no signs of bloodsuckers ever having been there. 
“Safe to assume this is it then, huh?” You ask, leaning forward between the boys and looking out the windshield. 
“Yeah. We all ready?” Sam asks.
You and Dean respond “yeah.” You all get out of the car, grabbing your machetes and forming a plan. There are three entrances to the building, you will all split up and take one. You’ll meet in the middle, and then go to the upper floors together. You nod at each of the brothers, and you all go your separate ways to enter.
The front door creaks open, and you slowly make your way inside. The day’s last light is filtering in through the windows. You have a flashlight in your back pocket but you’re trying to draw as little attention as possible. You make your way down the hallway, which opens into a large center room. As you come through the doorway, you hear grunts and sounds of fighting from the hallway to your right. That’s the door Sam came in, you think and your heart drops into your stomach when the noises stop but Sam doesn’t emerge. You start toward that hallway, and you’re met with five vamps carrying Sam’s unconscious body. They notice you, drop him, and advance on you before you can move any further.
“Dean!” You yell, starting to fight them off. You can’t keep track of where they all are, you just know that they are surrounding you and landing more hits than you are. Your back, arms, sides, and stomach are all taking hits and you struggle to get the upper hand. You manage to block a few hits and decapitate two of the vamps in quick succession, as you hear Dean’s footsteps thundering closer. That’s when you notice a large vampire standing over Sam. 
You fight even harder now, desperate to help the brothers and save Sam. You manage to shove one against a metal pole before cutting its head off in one swing. You kick one in the abdomen, surprising it and knocking it over. You drop to your knees, straddling the vampire’s chest, and swing your machete down on its neck. An arm from the other vamp you’re fighting snakes around your neck, choking you and pulling up into the air. With your body weightless and hanging in the air, you swing an elbow into its sternum and a heel into its knee. It lets go long enough for you to drop, turning as you go to swing out and cut its head off.
With these five dead, you can turn to help the Winchesters. As you run over, the vamp throws Dean a few feet, with Dean landing on his back and sliding across the floor. Jesus, you think, he looks even taller than Sam. You run and launch yourself at the vamp, knocking it back a few steps but not knocking it down. Glancing around the vamp, you can see Sam starting to come back around to consciousness. The vamp manages to grab you by your throat, lifting you into the air. You try slashing into its arm with your machete, but the grip it has on your throat doesn’t let up and you’re starting to see spots.
“Dean,” you manage to rasp out, your machete falling from your hand as you grow weaker,” get Sam and get out of here.”
Suddenly the vamp’s hand goes slack, its head rolling down and onto the floor. You fall to the floor, gasping and coughing for air, your hand on your neck. Sam is standing over the dead vamp, machete in hand.
“You okay, Y/N?” Dean comes up behind you.
You nod, still coughing.
“Sam?” Dean asks.
“I’ll be fine, it was just a good hit on the head.” He kneels in front of you. “You sure you’re okay?”
You nod again, “Guess we’re even now, huh, Sammy Boy?” 
The boys help you up and out to the car. You all ride back to the motel in silence. Dean is first out of the car and heading toward the rooms, leaving you and Sam behind in the Impala.
“You’ve got some blood on the back of your head,” you say.
Sam’s hand goes to the back of his head, coming back red. “Oh. Huh.”
Another moment passes, then you get out of the car and head to your door. As you’re unlocking it, you realize Sam is standing behind you. You glance over your shoulder at him. “You okay?”
“Would you mind helping me clean it? The blood on my head, I mean. I’m sure you’ll be more gentle than Dean would.”
“Sure, Sam. Come on in.” You open the door and head in. He follows and closes and locks the door behind him, checking the salt lines.
“Have a seat wherever, I’ll grab some supplies,” you say, heading into the bathroom for some warm water and a washcloth.
When you re-enter the bedroom, Sam is sitting on the edge of your bed, looking out of place. You crawl onto the bed behind him on your knees and start cleaning the blood from his hair as gently as you can.
“So, um,” Sam starts, “why did you stay in touch with Dean?”
“Oh, um, I don’t know. I just texted him one day and we hit it off. He’s pretty funny.”
Sam’s hums in response. You furrow your brow, “should I not have?"
"No, it's fine, I mean-," Sam stutters, "I just- um, maybe we can keep in touch this time?"
You’re taken aback, and you’re glad you're still behind Sam because you’re opening and closing your mouth like a fish for a moment. “Uh, yeah, Sam. I’d like that.”
“Can I, uh, ask you a question?”
“Of course, Sam.”
“Did I do something to upset you last time? At the bunker?” When you don’t immediately answer, he continues, “Because I thought we were getting along and hitting it off and then I came back one morning and you were just gone.”
“No, Sam,” you say, putting a hand on his shoulder and moving around so you’re in front of him. “You did nothing wrong. I got called away for something.”
“Okay,” he say, but he looks like he doesn’t believe you. Really, he looks like a kicked puppy and you can’t stand it. Fuck it, you think, I can’t have him thinking he did something wrong and looking at me like this. “Okay, I wasn’t called away. I, um,” you sigh. “Ilikeyouanditscaresme,” you rush out, avoiding eye contact.
A moment passes where nothing is said. You’re still looking away and you bring your thumb to your mouth to chew on the nail. He brings one hand up to pull your hand away from your face, and his other hand rests on your cheek. “Look at me, Y/N.”
You follow his command, meeting those hazel eyes, your heart feeling like it’s going to beat out of your chest. “I like you too,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. 
You put your hand on top of his on your cheek. “Really?”
He nods, smiling and giving you a glimpse at those adorable dimples. He brings his other hand to your cheek, his large hands now framing your face, and he’s looking into your eyes for permission. You nod, and then his lips are on yours. You feel like your brain has short-circuited, and it takes a moment for your lips to move to match his. His tongue licks your lower lip, again asking for permission, and you gladly open up to let him inside. Wow, you think, this is earthshattering. 
You both pull away, keeping your foreheads together.
“You’ll have to teach me how to do this,” you say.
He opens his eyes, confused.
“This ‘feelings’ thing,” you explain, “I’ve never really done this before.”
“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll always have your back.”
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nescaveckwriter · 3 months
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Paintbrushes And Romance 🥰🐞 - Part 12
Dean x Fem/Reader
Part 12🥰🐞
A/N: Dean saved her, or did he? This is a tear jerker, trust me. 🥹 Side Note: thank you all so much for the support. Much love, my bugsies 🥰🐞
Warnings: hospital scenes, trigger warnings, sadness, 🥹
......
Running through the door, while she's in his arms, barely breathing, his face over written with fear, shouting, asking for help, the doctors placing her on the bed, sharing concerned looks, looking over seeing Bobby also in bad shape makes him want to kill the damn, bastard all over again.
If only he'd figured out it sooner, if only he'd never left her side, if only he'd...
Dean! Sam's voice filled with urgency and concern, damnit Dean, man! Sam hit's Dean's arm!
"What? Dean's voice filled with anger but not towards Sam!
Listen man, your bleeding the doctor, needs to check you out.
Dean's face puzzled, he's voice more distant, no, I'm fine, its not that bad, pulling his shirt a little to the side, exposing the muscular chest, with the blood seeping through the torn open stitches.
Sam, gives him a look that say's he needs to sit down, while saying come on, let them stitch you up real quick,!
Dean not looking away from where she's laying, I don't want to leave her, saying underneath his breath.
Okay man, I get it but you need to look after yourself so that you can take care of her, when she wakes up, she's going to need you. Sam says, gesturing to the open bed.
Dean just nods, knowing there's a long road ahead of them, but he's willing to do anything to help her get through this, sitting down on the bed, taking off his shirt, not taking he's eyes off of her, waiting for the doctor to stitch him up, he just recalls every memory everything, he could have done differently.
....
Its been four days, and she still hasn't woken up, Dr Stone, what is going on,? the sadness in Caroline's eyes and voice is just a bit to much for the doctor.
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She's exhausted, her body is fighting the sepsis, we have her on great antibiotics , but its going to take a while, for her, she suffered a great trauma, and her body was malnourished when she, came in, so her body is trying to restore antibodies to fight. The good news is her vitals looks really well. Caroline, don't you worry, your daughter is fighter, Dr Stone says with a reassuring smile.
Thank you Doctor, I really appreciate all your doing for her, a little smile tugging at her lips, the sadness and worry visible on her face.
Hey! Mom, Joe said with a smile and a gigantic teddy bear.
"Son what in the world is that,? laughing a little.
"Mom, you know how sis always said she wanted a big damn bear, well I found one, and I know she's going to love it, as soon as she wakes up, she'll want to hold it!
"All Caroline can do is just shake her head and smile, while looking at her very handsome son, with his bright blue eyes, dark hair, and viking beard, come here she says, pulling him into a hug. I love you son.
"I love you too mom, he says with his deep, low voice, glancing over to his sister, laying there, the bruises on her face, have discoloured a bit, its more purplish-yellow than the dark blue it was before, but it's still like someone has taken a knife and twisted it in his heart, over and over again.
"He is just so mad, so mad at the scum who took her, so mad at Dean Winchester, for breaking her heart, even though he cleared everything up, by telling them what happened, so mad at himself, for not being there when she needed him, just so damn mad all the time, but he knows he, has to be strong for his parents , they need him now!
....
Walking through the doors, he came to know so well, everyday hoping, praying for his daughter to just be okay, be that little girl, who looked at the world, wide-eyed with so much kindness, so much love, and so much hope. Why did life, had to beat up his little girl? Why did this damn world had to be so cruel? She didn't deserve any of this!
Clenching his fist's, whispering, I had one job, and that's to protect my daughter, and what did I do? Damn nothing, what could I do? Driving up and down, searching everywhere and nowhere,for days, barely getting any sleep, replaying everything over and over, he catches a glimpse of his own reflection in the stainless steel, that's on the doors he passes, walking to his daughter's room, his eyes tired, every line across his face defining his age, became more prominent, knowing this week and a half made him older than what he should be.
Before entering the room, taking a deep breath, in his nostrils, making his chest rise and fall down, so that he can sort of gain courage, so that his beloved wife and son can lean on him, whenever this get to much.
A little smile tugging at his lips, when he sees Caroline and Joe hugging eachother, knowing even though, there sitting in this hospital room, waiting for his daughter to wake up, day in and day out, night after night, taking turns with Dean, he is stil a very blessed man, his family is together again.
...
In the distance, in the corner, there's balloons, with the words imprinted, stating, "get well soon" , There's flowers different, colours and shapes, something that looks like postcards, with pictures ranging from bears to hearts, and then chairs, underneath the big window, with two figures just sitting, heads resting on the not so comfortable, backdrop of the chairs, and then, a hand holding her hand loosely.
Your eyelids still heavy but your just taking everything in, your in the hospital, how did you get here? Looking towards the big window, it must be late at night, just before dawn, because its so dark!
Trying to push yourself up on your arms, just to collapse back , to your previous position.
Trying to figure out why you feel so damn weak and exhausted, your thoughts get interrupted by a soft, kind voice, saying "hi honey, sweetie"
Mom? Confusing clear in your voice...
"Yes sweetie it's me mommy, her voice breaking, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Mom, it's really you, your voice sounds sweeter than normal, your here, I'm here, its going to be alright now, isn't it, a silent tear escaping your eyelid."
Yes sweetie, your safe, we've got you. Caroline's voice filled with so much love.
"Joe waking Bill up, saying she's awake"
The two men come walking closer...
Your eyes big and wet, with tears you're trying to fight back. Daddy, Joe, your voice Breaking.
Joe speaks first, a smile on his lips, hey sis, I know you like your naps, but goodness, did you need so long, he says mockingly.
"A little laugh escapes over your busted lips, sorry I was just probably having a good dream.
Bill's deep voice breaks the lightheartedness shared between the siblings. Sweetheart, look at you, my brave girl, daddy is so happy your awake.
"Daddy, I'm so happy too see you, all of you, a little sniffle and silent tears rolling over your cheeks.
The three of them just standing there, eyes filled with hope and tears they hug you tightly. It hurts everywhere but damn it feels good, you think.
....
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The black coffee, going down smoothly over his lips, not taking the punch it used too, I guess that's what you get, by the 10th cup, he says to no one really, the hallway lighting is dim, as its early morning, looking down at his watch, 3'o clock, hearing Sammy's voice in his head, "Dean you can't just sit here waiting for her to wake up, you need some sleep man, just take care of yourself too."
He does do the basic shit, taking a shower, eating now and then, living on coffee, because whiskey is not appropriate in the hospital, he says with a scoff. I'm not leaving her sight, now way in hell. The only reason I'm sitting in the hallway is when her family stays the night, he can't help feel like he's intruding. He sees the way Joe looks at him, not even to talk about Bill, like he's the bastard in this horrific story.
Wishing he could just tell them how badly, how guilty he feels about every damn thing that happened.
I need damn refill, he says getting up, walking past the room, he knows so well, something catches his eye.
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Just standing in the door, trying to slow his fast beating heart. She's sitting upright, talking, she's awake, what the hell. Walking closer, the low light, illuminating the beauty in her eyes, her hair hanging over her shoulders, framing her face, his voice sounds, lower and more gruffy than normal when he says baby.
"Caroline gesturing to Bill and Joe they should leave the two of them alone, as they walk out"
Her eyes wide, the surprised look on her face, letting him know, that they haven't told her, he's alive. Bobby said what happened, what Luke told them.
Hearing her sweet voice say his name. "Dean, is, is that really you, she stutters"
Coming closer the side of her bed, yes, sweetheart its really me, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, he says in a firm but loving voice.
The tears streaming down her beautiful face, she's frantically sobbing now, when she says I love you.
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Dean smiling at her, I love you too, he's big calloused hands cups her face, searching her eyes, if it's okay, he leans in, his lips crashing against hers, tasting the saltiness, of the tears on her lips, knowing he loves this woman more than life itself, thinking I will stand by you, I will help you through, I will dry your eyes, I will hold you tight, I won't let you go..
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mothgardens · 3 months
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“You’re Losing Me” By Taylor Swift is THE later season Destiel song, specifically from Castiel’s perspective.
If somebody has already said this then… uh, uh, uh- :3
Immediately, the first lines suit the two of them SO well:
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Dean not understanding why he and Sam were set up for the fate that they were: Michael and Lucifer, Cain and Abel 2.0, Angel and Demon. Cass was there to tell him that he doesn’t always get it either. Take the bench scene from 04x07 for example:
“You misunderstood me, Dean, I’m not like you think. I was praying that you would choose to save the town.”
“I’m not a hammer, as you say, I have questions; I have doubts. I don’t know what is right or what is wrong anymore.”
Cass was always willing to explain and guide, even in times when Dean had lost almost all hope. He and Dean used to appreciate the world for its beauty and delicacy. Now it’s over and Cass sits in The Empty (the dark).
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Dean became so complicated and angry as the seasons progressed. He was always so contradictory and Cass kept getting confused and lost. He got kicked out by Dean and barely even knew why. He didn’t know if everything they had become had been tossed out.
He kept rising from the ashes metaphorically and literally. Metaphorically, when he was kicked down by Dean (or anyone for that matter), he would get back up and continue to help the Winchesters for the greater good. He was stronger than he got credit for.
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Dean’s anger and isolation made it nearly impossible for either Cass or Sam to communicate with him. He turned them away, got angry, broke things, drank too much, or acted plain arrogant. Eventually Cass was getting fed up (rightfully so).
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Cass and HIS CANON GLARE- when he gets so angry that he glares instead of speaking because that spoke louder. Because he knew Dean wouldn’t listen to a damn word he would say.
Dean once called him a brother, but now he said that the only constant in their plans ‘s downfalls seems to be Castiel:
“The plan changed Dean, something went wrong, you know this, something always goes wrong.”
“Then why does that something always seem to be you.”
All Cass wanted was to talk, instead Dean turned it into his fault completely and blamed him for things out of his control (Mary, Jack, Rowena…).
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Their air was always thick with loss off hunters, loss of battles, loss of hope. It was full of indecision of how to move forward when all possibilities seemed like dead ends.
Each time that they were in a situation that they felt stuck in Dean would be mad. Dean would take that anger out on Cass as if his presence at all was an imposition.
Dean never realized truly how much he loved Cass until Cass was gone to The Empty, for good.
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THIS BRIDGE WAS FUCKING WRITTEN FOR THEM AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT A DENIAL OF THIS STATEMENT ‼️‼️
They were THE sad song for ELEVEN years. Eventually when Dean almost killed Castiel’s son in front of him, that pushed Cass over the edge. That was enough. Cass had given him everything. Cass rebelled against heaven for Dean, he lost everything for Dean. He dealt with Dean’s hot and cold temper for YEARS without complaint, only compassion.
“AND ALL I DID WAS BLEED AS I TRIED TO BE THE BRAVEST SOLDIER !! FIGHTING IN ONLY YOUR ARMY FRONTLINES DON’T YOU IGNORE ME”
That lyric IS Castiel. Prove me wrong, you can’t.
Cass always wanted Dean to just see him, and in the glimpses Dean did, Cass was his happiest. But, as the seasons progressed Dean stopped outwardly appreciating Cass at all. All he showed him was frustration and anger.
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1. “Do something, babe, say something” is versatile. Early season Dean would say it to early season Cass. It is also 15x03 Cass saying: “I tried to talk to you over and over again, but you don’t care. I’m… dead to you.”
2. “Lose something, babe, risk something” Early season Dean to early season Cass.
3. “Choose something, babe, i got nothing” LATE SEASON CASS TO LATE SEASON DEAN !! Specifically 15x03 (again <3) when Cass says “Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.” HE WAS SAYING HE HAD NOTHING LEFT.
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This song is just so Destiel coded and I cannot keep this in my head or I will explode.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE if u have imput reblog or whatever and talk about it because lyrical ships are SO important to me.
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lyssak09 · 1 year
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Yandere Sam hcs
I don't simp for Sam (he is an amazing character tho) but I know half of the fandom does so this is for all you Sam lovers. Enjoy 💙
P.S. here is the song I mention later in this. I highly recommend it.
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I know everyone thinks Sam would be a sweet yandere, which is true! But I believe Sam is a bit more sinister than what people think. He can get violent
Sam is a trained hunter for god's sake
He could take you down in two moves flat
But just be good and he won't
Sam is a semi-deliosional, obsessive yandere. He loves everything and anything about you. And you love him too. Right?
When you and Sam start dating he will show you off to Dean and Cas. Totally not to get family approval
Sam will keep track of everything about you. Your daily schedule to your favorite brand of chips
Slowly but surely he will get you to up your relationship. From just dating to boyfriend to moving in together to talking about starting a family very quickly. Maybe in the span of a year. If you get freaked out about how quick you're moving you'll get his puppy eyes and maybe a sad sob story about how he has always wanted this, how you're meant for him.
You are Sam's greatest strength and his biggest weakness. And some of our biggest bads know this. Lucifer might kidnap you and use you against Team Free Will. Or he might fall for you. But that's another headcannon for another day.
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Sam loves you so much. If anything were to happen to you he would lose his shit. He would use anything he has to get you back. Like being Lucifer's vessel. If he has to he is willing to sell his soul. He'll get it back eventually. He's a Winchester for crying out loud.
If you thought he worked so hard to save the world because of the human race then you are so damn wrong. After he met you he stopped caring about everyone but his family and you of course. There is no one worth protecting and saving the world for except you.
His family loves you. Especially Dean. Now Sammy has two people making fun of him. How great is that?!
Later on if you get piss at him and call him a bitch after he made you mad then he will instantly call you a jerk on instinct
You let out a loud sigh, "Sam, why are you crying?". You heard a little sniffle before he replied. "I-I called you a jerk because I say that when D'Dean calls me a bitch. But you're not a jerk! I love you so much" he told you and crushed you in a hug.
He's such a crybaby when it comes to you
So I said Sam is semi-delusional right? Because he his. Some days he thinks its his right and for your own good that he is doing this. Yes he knows some people might think its wrong and maybe he has "kidnapped you against your will" but what do you know? He knows more than you and is just doing this for your own good. And possibly because he wants to as well.
Sam will make you be his little nurse when he comes home injured. Depending on if he told you what he really does you'll get a different story as to why he is coming home seriously bleeding or coming home with a bullet wound. Hope you can stand blood.
He will baby you. Especially if you had a rough childhood. It sounds nice right? Wrong
If he enjoys babing you enough then say goodbye to walking, for he will carry you everywhere. Oh, you wanna feed yourself? Too bad. You might lose autonomy. And if you fight him on it then maybe its time for you twos nap time!
By the way, this man is a cuddler. You have no personal space. But as least you have your own personal giant ass heater. So, yay?
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If you wanna try and butter him up to get something then play with his hair. He takes great pride in it for whatever reason.
Sam has a hand on you at all time. He has to be touching you in someway or else he gets antsy.
Also you're gonna get kisses 24/7 whether its on the lips or where ever else. Even is passing by he'll give you a kiss on top of your head. You only get kissed on the cheek when he is sitting with you. It gets tiring basically squatting down just to give you a quick kiss on the cheek.
If you disobey Sam or just put up a major fight all the time after he kidnaps lovingly taking you home by surprise, then expect some privileges taken away and or punishments.
Sam's punishments aren mainly mental. He will guilt trip the hell out of you. If you piss him off enough he will either freeze you out or just straight up isolate you.
But if soul less Sam kidnaps you and you piss him off then you're getting brutal punishments. Like extremely mentally hurtful or maybe even physical.
Normal Sam thinks that when he punishes you its for the best and will feel some guilt. You need to learn to not disobey. And he knows not every couple does this. But Soulless Sam thinks it is how truly in love couples work through issues. And its his right to correct your wrongs and behavior. He also might enjoy it a tiny bit.
Also, yes, Soulless Sam does love you.
Remember how I told you that you're Sam's biggest strength as well as his biggest weakness?
Well the boys' enemies will use that to their advantage. Like instead of Sam being forced to watch Dean die over 100 times, Gabriel makes you die over 100 times.
It really f*cked with him after
"I'LL KILL YOU TRICKSTER!". Sam screamed as he held your dying body in his arms, again.
Once he finally got it to end he never let you do or be near anything that could kill/injure you.
"I was an island, 'fore you came along," Sam heard you singing under your breathe once he jolted awake. "Y/N WHAT DAY IS IT!?" He yelled and jumped at you. "Its Wednesday Sam." You said and tried to go back to your chores around the bedroom. But Sam wouldn't let you move. He pulled you to his chest and squeezed you so hard you started to get lightheaded. "You can't leave me. I won't let you. You're never getting out of my sight." He repeatedly said. "Sam, losing air!", he loosened his grip. "You're mine. You're never leaving. Even after death. You belong to me."
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Sam loves to support any all all of your hobbies. Except ones he might see as dangerous. Such as whittling/carving (knifes & sharp objects), candle making (fire), stitching/cross stitching/sewing unless he trusts you enough to be careful.
He might let you cook. But he has to be in the kitchen with you and does the chopping. Be glad he lets you even use the oven.
Pottery might (very unlikely tho) be an option. If he does allow you to do it then he has to put the pottery in the klin or whatever.
Sam loves when you create things. Like art, writing, etcetera. He will frame or display basically everything you make. Except food. That gets to be displayed in his stomach.
He loves your art soo much you that if you don't wanna share whatever you have made to him then you'll get a sad/pissy puppy.
"Can I please see it?" Sam had asked you for the 100th time. You grumbled. "For the last time. No! If I don't want you to see it then too bad!" You started to raise your voice in frustration. Sam pouted at you. "You know I don't like secrets! And no matter what it is I'll love it!". You being in a snarky mood rolled your eyes, "even if its a smutty drawing/ short story of someone I think is hot?". He stayed quiet for a minute. "I'll burn it to the f*ckin ground and kill whoever you was in it. " Sam said monotonly. Your mouth hung open. Some how after months of being stuck with this psycho he still manages to surprise you. He kissed your head all of a sudden, "Can't have my sweet Y/N being tempted by others can we? Now lemme see it."
One of his favorite pass times with you is him reading to you or reading while you watch tv all nice and comfy like on his lap.
Sam has no boundaries with you. Like while you're showering he might pop in and sit on the counter or toilet lid and just talk to you. Or listen to you if you talk to yourself or sing in the shower.
He might not even make it know he was in there with you. It doesn't really matter. Couples do this all the time right?
Also he will change your eating habits. If you don't drink enough water he will watch and make you drink multiple glasses. Don't eat enough? Then you get to be started at like a hawk until you eat your whole plate.
And if you eat non-health stuff all the time then be ready to eat a whole lot of "rabbit food"
Just remember he is doing it because he loves you and wants you to live a long time with him
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Sam follows you around like a puppy. He just wants to be with you all the time. Can you blame him?
He also could talk to you for hours. Especially about his nerdy stuff.
Also don't argue with him. He was trying to be a lawyer. There isn't a point in it.
And I don't recommend escaping. He knows everything about you. Which means he knows everywhere you could have gone to hide
If whoever you hid with tries to fight him off or anything except turn you over to him will get shot. Sam isn't in the mood. He just wants to take his stubborn sweetheart home
"You're not taking her! I'm calling the cops" your friend yelled and tried to grab their phone and shield you. "No! I'll be fine, F/N. He'll hurt you if needed." You panickly said to them. You started to slowly walk towards Sam who had his hand on his gun. "Damn it Y/N! I'm not letting you go to that sicko! Come back before he-" your friend was cut off with a giant BANG. There stood Sam, pointing his gun at your friend. Blood started started to pool at your feet. "I'm too tired to deal with your shenanigans babe. Get in the car now."
Sam doesn't like having to chase you down
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Sam will use his powers on you if needed. Its an advantage that would be stupid not to use.
He will anything for you. Never forget that
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woundlingus · 2 months
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Okay, Unfinished Business 13x20 THEE Gabriel master thesis of episodes for his characterisation tells me one very important fact about him, and that’s that he is an unreliable narrator.
This is perhaps not even his fault, years and years of suffering the worst kind of abuse it’s hard to think clearly about much at all, let alone the intricacies of what happened to put you where you are and trying to understand other perspectives. It’s hard when you’ve spent a near decade (or undisclosed amount of time being shifted between Earth and Hell) with only the worst kind of torture at the forefront of your mind.
Or maybe, he does know. He is the trickster in every way that matters regardless of if he’s the original Loki or not. I’d find it pretty hard to believe that the trickster who haunts Sam Winchester’s nightmares would be unaware of the irony of his situation and the symbolism of his own torture, I imagine that makes the punishment all the more humiliating and bitter. Gabriel is also a show boat. A peacock. He’s always paraded himself around as tough and unknowable, he’s also a known liar and both of those traits work together to create a very convincing story in whatever episodes story it is he wants to tell. But he is a liar.
What sounds better? Gabriel ran away to hide under the skirt of his pagan friends?
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Or, Gabriel was living a luxurious life where he was pampered and beloved;
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(That’s right, the pornstars obviously)
That these so called friends wined and dined him, fed him his fill, and then when he was at his most vulnerable after they’d made well sure he felt comfortable enough to let his guard down- THEN, and only then, did they strike out against him. He could have never seen it coming. The ultimate betrayal.
Gabriel can’t keep his story straight the whole episode. He opens with a bold faced lie (can you spot the resemblance to any other lies so far?)
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He knows this looks bad. He’s already so fragile, and he knows the Winchesters want him for his grace so I can’t imagine him knocking on their door for help was a decision he came to easily. So these two men who are bigger than him, stronger than him, and have a bone to pick with him, bring him into their motel room while he’s bleeding his guts out and can barely stand. He peacocks. I’m fine, “you should see the other guy”, wink wink. God forbid they know he’s weak, god forbid they think he’s any more pathetic than they already do.
He’s guarding his very fragile ego right now, frankly, it’s the only thing he has left.
I don’t doubt for a moment that Loki’s POV is any less clouded by his own personal prejudices and ego, they’re very much the same after all. Loki was in that cave, Gabriel did rescue him.
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These are facts. That doesn’t change that Loki freed Gabriel from a cave of his own and saved him from his family as well.
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They are equals in this fact. But neither willing to admit to it. Loki I understand, he’s given very little time to plead his case and so he gets right to the point. I saved Gabriel’s life, he killed my father.
Gabriel however, has plenty of time to explain himself and wastes it spinning a story in which he can both simultaneously look cool and still find himself to be the ultimate victim in. He wastes time keeping the Winchesters in the dark and it could have cost them their lives when they ran in after Gabriel without the whole story. Lucky for them, no one here cares about the Winchesters lol Loki is as occupied with Gabriel and he is with Loki. But they could’ve been hurt!
I’m not saying Gabriel doesn’t deserve catharsis, that he shouldn’t get to kill Loki and his children. I don’t need to, Gabriel does-
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Maybe that was the tricksters best trick so far, that Gabriel managed to warp his own memories and perception of what happened to fuel his own survival, and now that he’s out and the world is real again he can’t make himself let go of what he had to tell himself. That Loki was unnecessarily cruel. That Loki snapped out of nowhere. That his closest confidant sold him out for money of all things. He can’t let himself remember it was more complex than that, he tells himself he needs this, because if he doesn’t he’ll have to admit that under all this peacocking and lying he is that weak and broken and scared. If Gabriel has to sit down with the reality that he’s never going to be that cool and sexy guy who gets everyone he wants and couldn’t care less, he’d probably want to kill himself (which is what really starts to get him down in the following episodes because guess what, killing Loki didn’t fix anything he’s still broken, :( always will be)
I think he believes if he can lie hard enough, this fabrication could be real. It can be real to him at least, so he doesn’t have to face the humiliation of either admitting to his own stupid naïveté and he didn’t see the obvious coming, or that he knowing and wilfully begged Loki for a place by his side and got throw down hard for his cowardice. But it’s not like there’s anyone left to contest his story now.
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wordieworld-woo · 7 months
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Some scars cant be healed
Alister x reader, mentioned/ suggested Dean x reader/Castiel x reader
Warning: Mentions of torture, violence canon to SPN, Reader being tortured, self doubt, manipulation
Word count: 745 - unedited (enjoy)
“How many times are you willing to die for them,” Alister sneered. His face in hers , his putrid breath lingering. Every nerve was telling her to run , get away from the demon that was going to torture her. He had said it himself, told her his plan of how he was going to tear her apart. Cut until nothing was left but blood and pain just like he had during her years in hell. How he planned to leave her suspended, barely able to touch the ground, bleeding and nearing death the more days that passed. He wanted her afraid, scared that her mortal life would be taken away, that she’d end up back where they met in hells torture dungeon. She refused to give him that satisfaction, knowing all too well of the pleasure he experienced from seeing her fear. 
She stared at the wall, ignoring his taunts and the torture, she stayed quiet as he integrated her avoided giving answers on the Winchesters or Castiel.  “Tell me little girl,” he circled where she was tied down. “How many times is it now?” he laughed. She held her resolve despite every instinct screaming to somehow put him into his place. “Bite me…” she said, lacing each word with venom, a final act of defiance. “You know what's funny,” he trailed his knife across her throat “how willing you are to die for them, and how little they care.” “I’ll  kill you… I swear,” she snarled. He stabbed his blade into her thigh laughing at the whine that escaped. He smiled at the grimaces and obvious pain she was experiencing, enjoying every second of discomfort she felt. He was only just getting started. 
Alister had been at it for hours, and as a master in his craft he was disappointed by what little information he had gotten out of her. How strong her resolve seemed to be. Though little did he know how close she was to breaking, how desperate she had become. That she had given up on Castiel and was praying to god himself to save her. To let her wake up in the arms of her angel, in the arms of Dean just wake up somewhere safe. But she didn’t. God wasn’t listening.  Alister was an ‘artist’ always trying new ways, methods of torment in order to get her to speak. To share her knowledge on the Winchesters. Though none of it seemed to work. 
“You’ve held together better than I expected,” Alister sang, as he circled her. Examining all the cuts, bruises, burns that had begun to heal, and the many others that were still open. “Where is their loyalty to you… Hmm” She stayed quiet, trying so desperately to ignore his words, and the weight that they carried. Avoiding the thoughts of what if, could he be, knowing too well where they could lead her. She decided that this would be the final time that she reached out to Castiel, that if still no answer came she would allow herself to agree, on what Alister had been saying. “They have none,” he sneered. “You’re just another stray they took in.”
“They don’t care about you.” 
A ruffle of wings. Then the anger filled voice of Dean answered “There you’re wrong,” he launched himself in Alister’s direction. She sighed relieved. Grateful that they had come to her rescue. While Dean fought against the Demon, Castiel was quick to release her of her bindings, and examine the exposed wounds. She could read the concern on Castiels face. The feeling of responsibility no doubtly felt as a result of her injuries. “I am sorry I couldn’t find you sooner,” Dean returned at her side, pulling her arm across his shoulders in order to support her weight. “How are you feeling, sweetheart,” Dean asked. His gaze fixed on the blood that covered her clothing. “I’ll live,” “I can only heal so much,” Castiel placed his palm to her head, his grace attaching itself to the more recent damage and stitching her back together. 
“Thank you,” 
“Let's get you home,” Dean swept her off her feet carrying her from the warehouse to Baby, Castiel following behind. Alister hadn’t succeeded in breaking her, but he had come close. Close to killing her, to getting the information he wanted. She was alive, and breathing in the safety of the people she trusted. But what he’d done had left scars. Perhaps even the kind that angels couldn’t heal.
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lordstormageddidnt · 1 year
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(already regretting this) (heavy sigh) of course Dean is hunting things that's his job how can that be a theory
Omg Ceejay I am so glad you asked 💀 the first time I talked about this, it took me 2.5k words and 7 discord messages so I will take pity on you and give you the abridged version:
"Dean is hunting things" is a nickname. The full name of the theory is "sam is saving people, dean is hunting things, and cas is the family business". The basic premise is that when you look at the character arcs and internal struggles across Supernatural, said arcs/struggles each of the three main guys revolve around a different phrase in the motto "saving people, hunting things, the family business".
Sam is "saving people" because although there's a ton of stress placed on "normal life vs hunting life", with seasons like S8 giving us arcs where Sam tries to go back to having a normal life with Amelia, Sam doesnt really like hunting, he likes saving people. That comes out a lot in episodes that discuss how Sam is willing to let monsters go (like Amy Pond the kitsune in S7) while Dean isn't, and it especially comes out during the demon blood in S4, where "I can save more people like this" is how Sam justifies drinking demon blood. Although Sam wants to have a normal life, being a freak is the price he chooses to pay in order to save people, especially in the earlier seasons.
Dean is "hunting things" because although he is a very protective character who saves people, there is a lot of violence and anger in him that gets explored. Obvious examples include Dean fighting against the violent urges of the Mark of Cain, but even without the Mark corrupting him, it's made clear throughout the show that when it comes to hunting, the act of hunting monsters itself is appealing to Dean. Unlike Sam, Dean doesn't let monsters go free (most times) including when he goes back to kill Amy Pond in S7 after Sam agrees to let her live. After Cas and Dean get sent to Purgatory at the very end of S7, it's made clear that there was part of Dean that enjoyed being in Purgatory, where all he had to do was hunt monsters, and he's ashamed of that part of himself.
Importantly, I think it would be wrong to call Dean "the family business" because although protecting his family is a core part of Dean's motivations, it's also never a *choice* to him. He will always save Sam, no matter what, so its not really an arc or internal struggle.
Finally, Cas is "the family business". The meaning of this phrase in context is basically that Dean is telling Sam that because they are Winchesters, they have a duty to be save people and hunt things. Similarly, Cas is a character with a strong sense of duty because he is an angel. In seasons 7-9 we get this really dramatic cycle of Castiel trying and failing to fix Heaven, and when he breaks Heaven, he feels a sense of duty to try and fix it, but trying to fix it leads to making everything worse (like when he works with Metatron at the end of S8). He does a similar thing with Jack in seasons 12+, where once he latches onto protecting Jack as his duty, there is nothing he wouldnt do, including sacrificing himself and his happiness. One quote that springs to mind is Cas's "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" in,,,,,,s7? Im like 90% sure I was watching season 7 while I came up with this bc of the amount of evidence I pull from that era 💀
TLDR: Im very normal about Supernatural 🥰🥰
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ladylilithprime · 1 year
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Shine On, Harvest Moon
Series: Fluff Is My Jamstiel
Fandom: Supernatural: 
Pairing: Sastimmy/Jamstiel (Jimmy Novak/Sam Winchester/Castiel)
Rating: Teen and Up
Tags/Warnings: Witch Sam Winchester, Hunter Novak Brothers, Jimmy and Castiel Are Twins, Brief Allusions to Canon-Typical Violence, Jimmy and Cas are Supportive Friends, Author Attempts to Adapt Actual Sabbat Rituals to the Supernatural'verse, Mentions of Werewolf Rescue
Summary: Sam Winchester was tentatively willing to take his hunter friends John Castiel and James Constantine Novak at their word that they not only wouldn't mind seeing him performing his usual sabbat rituals but would actually be honored to participate with him, but he still figured it would be best to start off with a relatively light ritual. It goes much better than he could have imagined..
For: @fluffyfebruary challenge!
Prompt: Day 16: Glow
Read on AO3
IF ANYONE ASKED the people of Palo Alto if Sam Wesson was a good witch or a bad witch, the majority of said people would probably say, "Who?" Some of them might even say, "The tea shop guy? Yeah, he's alright." A select few who actually knew that Sam Wesson was a witch would be quick to assure the asker that he was a very good witch, though whether they meant he was a skilled practitioner or a bleeding saint of a person depended on who you asked.
If you asked Sam himself, he would roll his eyes and point out that he was the one with the dog, thanks, which usually derailed the conversation into something else.
He was a very good witch, though, despite being mostly self-taught. He had lucked into meeting people who had provided him with good research sources and better advice. Some of the more powerful people he had met were keen to keep in touch with him for one reason or another, appreciating his unique position of being a witch raised by hunters who freely admitted that he probably had some things to unlearn in his quest to understand and explore his powers. He had some hard lines he wouldn't cross, and the good ones respected that because he respected them and didn't try to tell them they couldn't do the things he wasn't comfortable doing. And when he was well-established as a witch in his own right, he taught others the same respect, making friends among all types of people and even non-humans. Several werewolf packs and peaceful vampire covens knew his number, often by word of mouth because he helped them stay safe and keep others safe, and didn't judge them for their natures.
"Choice matters," he would say every time. "It doesn't matter what you are. It matters what you do." As a result, he was always careful to keep his own practices and rituals quietly tucked away in his rooms or in the garden behind his warded walls where it was safe and private.
Too careful, according to his familiar.
"You should invite the twins to your mid-Mabon ritual," Bones said as they were closing up shop at The Long Brew. "You know they're interested in learning from you, because they always have questions they want to ask, especially Cas. They aren't going to suddenly turn on you with an overt reminder that you're a witch, and it'll be a good way to see how they'll work out long-term."
"How they'll work out?" Sam repeated, eyebrows raised, rolling his eyes when Bones tapped her nose and waggled her eyebrows with a smirk he just knew she had learned from his brother. "Just because they also want in my pants doesn't mean they want something long-term, and you've been around humans long enough to know how bad we are about letting things like sex complicate our friendships. Not to mention compatibility issues."
"Is this about them being twins, them being hunters, or you still being gun shy after Madison?" Bones asked with her own raised eyebrows. "Because if it's the latter, you knew going into that one that she wouldn't work out long-term no matter what she'd convinced herself of. You weren't going to choose her over me, and she couldn't handle it. Perils of trying to date a werewolf when your familiar is a literal bitch."
"Lesson learned," Sam agreed ruefully, shaking his head. Madison had been sweet, but she had issues with needing full commitment that were more than just a werewolf's instincts to find a lifemate. Those instincts and issues together didn't mesh with her boyfriend having a familiar who was both an attractive female and another canine. The jealousy was expected, and also not something Madison could just get over, and so Sam had given her the number of another werewolf pack doing the commune thing over in Napa Valley and sent her off with a kiss to the cheek and a warded scarf.
Bones did have a point about the twins underneath her reminders of Madison. John Castiel and James Constantine Novak were very unlikely to ever make Sam choose between a romantic and sexual partner and his familiar, especially after the discussion they'd had on familiars and witches, the close bond between soul and magic that tied the two together, and how the strength of the bond between the two allowed the familiars to take human shape.
"Besides," Bones added as she stripped off the slip dress to put in Sam's satchel and adjusted the chain on her necklace-cum-collar. "Cas was horrified when he found out you'd skipped the usual Lughnasadh ritual because he and Jimmy were there."
"And just how did he find out about that?" Sam demanded, giving Bones a narrow look. The only answer he got was a bark and a tongue-panting dog grin as she changed back into her fur for the walk over to Mountain High Auto Mechanic and Body Works where the co-owner and assistant manager, Dean Smith, was just locking up for the day.
"Dude, you should totally get them out here to join in the Mabon thing," Dean said when Sam tentatively broached the idea on the drive home, Bones stretched out for a nap on her blanket on the Prius's back seat. "Didn't you tell me Cas can hear your garden?"
"They both can," Sam admitted. "Cas hears it the most strongly, but Jimmy picks up on it too when they're inside the walls. And yes, Dean, I tested them both. Whatever's going on with them isn't related to Azazel's Marked at all. Wrong generation, and no reaction to or from the wards any time they've passed through them, not even the first time you sent them to my door."
"I didn't send them!" Dean protested. Bones gave a low scoffing woof from the back, and he scowled. "Well I didn't! I just gave them your address, and I'm definitely regretting it."
"Then why do you want me to invite them to participate in Mabon?" Sam demanded in exasperation.
"You'll feel the truth in their intentions better during the ritual," Dean said seriously, tapping the side of his head with one finger despite keeping his eyes on the road. "Ain't nothing up there that can hide from you when you're opened up and connecting to someone in the middle of the ritual, better than Bonesy's nose, and you're more than strong enough to knock 'em out if they ain't actually being genuine with you."
"Anyone ever tell you that you're a paranoid jerk?" Sam asked dryly, ducking towards the door when Dean swatted at him.
"You, when you're bitching at me for it, bitch," Dean rolled his eyes. "Just trying to keep you alive! After all, it's--"
"Not paranoia if they really are out to get you," Sam chorused along with him, sighing. "I know. I don't think you have to worry about the Novaks, though."
"Then you'll have no problem inviting them to Mabon," Dean said with a shrug. "'Sides, even I can tell you skipping out on the full ritual over Lughnasadh last month didn't do your garden any favors."
It wasn't even like Dean was wrong, either. Sam had tried supplementing the undone ritual a bit with a few smaller rituals during the waxing of the moon, but it had not been nearly the same and he had felt the difference even in his potions that used freshly gathered ingredients. It didn't stop him from feeling nervous when Jimmy and Cas turned up the weekend before Mabon with the suspiciously flimsy excuse of a question about moon phases and spellwork that they honestly could have asked over the phone.
"Actually," he said carefully, trying not to fidget, "I have a ritual I need to do coming up on the full moon, if you would prefer to watch firsthand."
"Really?" both Novaks perked up in interest, though Cas was the one who continued, "You really wouldn't mind us watching you work?"
"I trust you two not to interrupt me during a sensitive moment," Sam teased, amused when they both blushed faintly. Gathering his courage and ignoring Bones's quiet canine snickering, he added, "You could even participate if you wanted."
"We would be honored," Jimmy said when a very wide-eyed Cas seemed incapable of responding. "So long as you're sure our presence won't mess anything up?"
"Not at all," Sam assured him. "Dean's even participated a couple of times when I needed an extra set of hands since Bones finds it easier to channel my magic while she's a dog and I don't usually work with other witches. The ritual itself isn't anything delicate, and you don't even have to have powers of your own for the ritual to get a boost."
The twins exchanged suddenly nervous glances, and then Jimmy admitted, "Uh, I don't know how well we'd do with boosting it anyway... we were kinda raised Catholic as kids and, well, we weren't orphaned until we were twelve...."
Past their First Communion, then, and possibly past their Confirmation if their guardian or fosterage had approved it.
"Still not a problem," Sam hummed absently as he wracked his brain for the list of saints he had learned from Pastor Jim back before it had become obvious to both of them that he would have to follow a different sort of faith going forward with magic. "Let's see... Saint Ansovinus is the patron saint of protecting crops, Saint Phocas the Gardener is kind of obvious, Saint Agnes and Saint Fiacre are also patron saints of gardeners, and Saint Benedict is a good general option for agriculture... Any of them should be fine for you to pray to instead of trying to follow along with what I'll be chanting."
"And that won't mess up the ritual?" Cas asked, earnest and worried. "As much as we'd love to help, well, we want it to help, you know?"
"I know, and I wouldn't tell you it's fine if it wasn't," Sam assured them. "Rituals are basically formalized prayers more than spellwork, anyway, and intent matters a lot more than the actual words most of the time. So long as the words you're using are the best suited to you for focusing your intentions in the same direction - in this case, the health and growth of the garden - then it doesn't really matter if you're praying to Persephone or to Saints Ansovinus, Phocas, and Fiacre."
"If you say so," Jimmy said, a lot less dubiously than Sam expected. "So, the full moon? That's on..."
"Thursday," Cas filled in, to which Sam nodded.
"We'll be here."
THEY WERE ALMOST late, arriving mid-afternoon somewhat worse for wear with a young werewolf woman and two werewolf kids huddled in the back seat of their Lincoln Continental. Sam took charge, sending the Novaks off to the shower to clean up and get changed into clothes that weren't covered in blood and dirt, while he took the small and frightened family into the kitchen and set to work checking bandages and treating injuries. After getting a rundown of known allergies for all three of them, he also handed out doses of a potion he usually called "Moonflower Draught" into cups of warm milk to help them through the night.
In between all of this, he learned that the woman's name was Kate and that the kids weren't actually hers by blood but as their mother had been killed by their father and their father had been killed by a hunter - not Jimmy and Cas, she hastened to add - she was claiming Cooper and Alice as hers anyway since she'd been their father's second mate, and with him dead she had taken the chance and asked the twins for help when she had smelled green magic on them. Jimmy and Cas had snuck her and the kids out past the other hunter they were meant to be back-up for, the one that had killed Silas, and had hidden them in an abandoned house the previous night before they brought them here.
"I can put you up tonight and tomorrow night," Sam told her. "Your choice if you and the kids want the warded basement or the warded solarium - only difference is the amount of natural light you get, since the wards are the same - and then I can give Jimmy and Cas directions to a werewolf pack enclave in Napa Valley where some friends of mine can get you safely settled in or direct you on somewhere else if you prefer."
"We'll take the basement, thank you," Kate answered with weary relief. "Heard your boys talking about some ritual you're supposed to be doing tonight. The basement will be out of your way for that, right?"
"Neither option would be in the way, but the basement will be further away from the garden," Sam nodded. "Take a breather, let me throw something together for you three to eat, and I'll get you settled before moonrise."
The meal was easy enough to throw together since Sam still had everything out from preparing for the ritual. Toasted turkey and cheese sandwiches and roasted potato wedges went onto plates he set in front of three hungry werewolves. While they ate, he put a selection of ham and chicken and turkey on a tray along with six bottles of water, and then Sam led the way down to the basement with the tray balanced on one arm while he balanced a drowsy Alice on his hip with the other, Kate carrying a nearly-asleep Cooper behind him. They passed Jimmy and Cas coming from the guest suite and Sam sent them to follow Bones to the solarium while he continued to the end of the hall and down the stairs to the basement. He handed the tray to Kate carefully before tracing the warding around the doorknob and opening it.
"There's a bathroom on the far side for when you need it," Sam told her softly as he settled Alice down into the soft cushions of the nest bed to the right of the door. He took the tray from her and set it on the table to the left while she settled Cooper down by Alice. "If they wake while the moon is up, try and get them to have some water and meat. They'll need the extra protein at this age. I'll come check on you around sunrise and see what you all feel like having for breakfast."
"Thank you.... I really can't thank you enough for everything you've already done for us," Kate whispered, looking up at him through her lashes. Sam smiled softly at her and stepped back.
"Rest, heal, and keep yourself and those two kids safe," he told her gently. "That's really all the thanks I need. Have a peaceful night."
Leaving the basement, Sam made a detour into his own room to change into the unbleached linen drawstring pants and lace-necked linen tunic he usually wore for ritual work. He almost regretted the decision - and the potential for distraction - when he entered the solarium and found both Novaks waiting barefoot in jeans and t-shirts. The looks on their faces as they caught sight of him made a glow of warmth that wasn't entirely unwelcome start to pool in his gut. Bones interrupted the brief staring match with a chuff as she trotted over and nudged her head up into Sam's hand for pets.
"Kate and the kids tucked up safe?" Jimmy asked, clearing his throat and not exactly discreetly nudging Cas in the side.
"Safe and sleepy and behind strong wards," Sam assured them. "They aren't getting out before dawn, and nothing that means them harm is getting in."
"Thank you," Cas sighed, reaching up to rub at the bridge of his nose. "When she asked us for help, neither of us could think of anywhere else we could take them."
"I told Kate this, but you're all welcome to stay here through the full moon," Sam told them, crossing to the door that led from the solarium into the greenhouse. "Saturday I'll give you the address of some people I know in Napa Valley, so long as you promise not to share it with anyone who'd see it as a new hunting ground."
"We promise," Jimmy nodded. "Not going to risk causing trouble for you or people you call friends."
"Appreciated," Sam nodded, opening the door. "Everyone - except Bones - grab one of the trays to bring out. Be careful walking through here, some of the plants might think you're tasty."
"So long as you don't actually let them eat us," Jimmy muttered. He stuck close to Sam, and Cas stuck close to Jimmy with Bones trotting behind them cheerfully, as they wound through the carefully separated raised beds with some of the more volatile, sensitive, or dangerous plants Sam kept on hand for his spells and potions. A couple of the plants rustled, sensing their movement and body heat, but none of them reacted otherwise. Sam and Bones politely pretended not to hear the twin sighs of relief from the Novaks as they all emerged into the outdoor garden proper.
Sunset was in progress, turning the lush garden into a shadowed grove that glowed orange and gold with the fading daylight and the solar-timed faux-candle lanterns along the stone paths. The center of the garden held a large mosaic warding circle that he normally disguised with stone benches placed at cardinal points around the circle. Three of the curved benched had been removed to the edges of the garden walls while the fourth was brought to the center and draped in a scarlet and brown batik wrap painted with gold runes and leaf patterns that he's turned into an altar cloth. Sam set his tray down in the center of the altar, Jimmy and Cas following his example to set theirs to either side, and then Sam straightened up and turned around to face them.
"Okay, basic outline. The first part of the ritual is a prayer of invocation, asking the chosen patrons to bless the ritual and the food," he said, gesturing to the trays where their meal of pumpkin and squash stuffed pastries, zucchini raisin bread, apple slices, honey and whipped butter, and a carafe of caramel spiced apple cider sat waiting for them. "Then we eat, setting aside a small portion of each item, about the size of a bite, on the plate here in the middle. Then it's another prayer of thanks for the bounty of the harvest, the blessing of the nourishing food, and the return of the blessing to the garden that has nourished us. So long as they follow those themes, you can address your prayers to whomever you want, Persephone won't mind."
"Should I even ask how you can be so sure of that?" Jimmy asked, glancing toward Cas who was starting to look a little dismayed.
"You asked her?" the elder twin choked out, staring at Sam as Jimmy's eyes went wide and snapped back to Sam as well. "She answered?"
"She remembers you both from Brady's funeral," Sam told them, keeping his tone gentle but not about to lie to either of them. "I think she introduced herself to you as Kore? You wouldn't have met her or most of her family before in the course of hunting since most of them don't go in for the human sacrifice thing or kill people for power, even Ares, and if any of them were going to draw power from death... but his thing is war specifically, anyway, and humans start plenty of those without a god around to influence them, and... and I'm rambling. Sorry." He ducked his head, a little sheepishly. When he looked up, Jimmy and Cas were smiling again and, to Sam's relief, looking considerably less shaken.
"If you're sure she doesn't mind, we'll take your word for it," Jimmy said. "Just tell us what we need to do. How should we...?"
Bones got their attention with a bark, pointedly sitting as primly as a dog could when she had their attention, making Sam chuckle a little. "Yeah, Bones, sitting down would be a good step one."
They arranged themselves carefully in front of the altar, Sam in the middle with Cas to his left and Jimmy to his right. Bones shuffled forward until she could comfortably rock back on her haunches and put her forepaws on Sam's shoulders. Cas and Jimmy took that as their cue to each rest a hand on one of Sam's knees, which made the glow in Sam's gut ripple even as it left his hands free to work. He would probably have to seriously think about this sooner rather than later at this rate.
The prayers flowed off Sam's tongue with the fluidity of practice, defaulting to Ancient Greek as he usually did first before slipping into Latin briefly to mark the inclusion of "other powers who would offer blessings upon this work". He got simultaneous squeezes to his knees for that, and his lips twitched a bit as he switched back to Greek to conclude the invocation, feeling the familiar building of warmth and power that indicated there was attention on them, and the distant brush of affectionate approval from the goddess upon whom he called.
And there, along with the familiar curl of his bond with Bones humming softly between them, was also the faintest of brushes against his mental shields, the Awareness of two new, unfamiliar minds close by, and the flicker of emotions that crossed through them. He let his own awareness skim the surface, not deep or close enough to intrude, merely enough to sense the underlying intent, and was pleased to find respect and reverence and affection resonating most clearly. Then he turned his attention fully back to the ritual and began blessing and distributing food among them. Bite-sized pieces went to the central plate, and Sam poured a small cup of the cider to set on the plate as well before passing the carafe around. Curiosity flickered from his left and Sam glanced over at Cas with a prompting hum.
"What will happen to the food on the plate?" Cas asked, voice hushed as if not entirely certain it was okay to speak. "If you can say..."
"The concluding prayers will send its essence to the powers invoked, sharing a portion of our bounty with them in exchange for their blessing, and then the physical remains will go into the compost bin out back to be broken down into soil to use during the spring replanting," Sam answered. "I do the same thing with the scraps from regular cooking. This is just a bit more formalized."
That seemed to satisfy Cas, but then Jimmy tentatively asked about the different foods they were eating, which turned into a short discussion between the three of them about food symbolism and seasonal resonances while they ate and drank and Sam fed bits of zucchini bread over his shoulder to Bones. Sam felt his familiar's amusement and satisfaction when Cas and Jimmy also slipped her bits of the bread, and he knew Bones was adding a tick to the "will work long term" side just as he was. When the meal concluded, the twins hesitantly moved their hands back to Sam's knees. Sam caught them, lacing their fingers together and softly directing them to place their free hands on the altar, Cas's hand palm up and Jimmy's hand palm down.
"It's just giving thanks now," he reminded them, and then closed his eyes. This time, he stuck firmly to Latin and mentally naming Persephone with his spoken gratitude to the "divine presence attending", squeezing their hands briefly as a warning to brace themselves as the last syllables slipped from his lips. For the span of one heartbeat everything was still.
When the rush of power came, it felt like a cresting wave breaking over them. Sam felt tears come to his eyes at the warmth and love and acceptance, the kindness and gratitude, the sheer connectedness he felt as it flowed over and through them all, before rippling outwards from them to every corner of the garden, soaking into the plants from leaves and stamen to roots, charging everything with the energy and abundance and the promise to provide as they were provided for. Sam could feel Cas and Jimmy to either side of him, heard their gasps as they felt the rush of power, and slowly opened his eyes to see the last briefly visible traces of their gathered power, their gift, glimmering among the plants around them before soaking into the foliage and fading away.
"Wow," Jimmy breathed, his body swaying sideways into Sam's. A moment later, Cas leaned into Sam's other side with a breathless, awed little laugh. At his back, Sam felt Bones settle against him with her muzzle on the back of his head, her wagging tail thumping happily against the mosaic.
We're keeping them, he felt her whisper through their bond.Yeah, he thought back as he gently squeezed their hands once more. We are.
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eileenleahy · 2 years
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remembered castiel and my chest hurts uhhhmnhhg he uhh. did you know he never felt at home. among the angels. he was always out of place then yhhh did you know he was sent to. to save dean winchester. and he did his job. then he uhm. he met sam. and bobby. and ellen and jo. and slowly but all at once he found that. hes more at home here than hes ever felt. hes never known this but for the second hes known it hes willing to give up everything else hes known all his life to save it. and then uhm. well. then hes among them. but he still doesnt belong. its more of a home than he felt in when he was a soldier in an army. its less familiar but he loves it but he doesnt belong so he watches his every step. and did you know it hurts. to bleed over the eggshells hes walking on he feels like hes stomping on them no matter how light he tries to tread. and then hes a father. and hes known because he knows. he understands his child and he loves his child. and he finds its not angel nor man thats the most comfortable title. its father. and his child dies. he loses his child his home. and he feels like hes losing the winchesters faster with every day. and his childs dead. and then he trades his life to save his child. then his child dies again. and what can he do. and hes losing the winchesters faster still. and his child returns but not the same it never will be the same. then he himself dies. and its in the blink of an eye against the millennia hes been alive but hed do it all again. did you know
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sarah-dipitous · 1 year
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 23
I swear to god I had no idea today was Dean's birthday when I was making the HNT schedule. But here we are at the end of season 1.
(I also messed up yesterday's episode title, but at least it's fixed now)
"Devil's Trap"
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Doesn't really apply here. It's not a normal first five minutes of a supernatural episode.
I...can't believe Carry On Wayward Son doesn't play at the beginning of this episode. It's such a staple of Supernatural season finales that it feels SO WRONG to not have it.
Awww! Bobby's first appearance!!
I was right about Meg being flirty in this episode, though.
Eldest sons with and incredible amount of anger threatening obscene amounts of violence my apparent beloveds. I'm fine. I'm super normal. Hearing Dean say he'll march into hell itself and slaughter every single demon if it turns out John's dead is not something I'm into.
I don't know how I feel, though, about Dean being okay about potentially killing the real Meg. Yeah, you've gotta live with that now, buddy.
I need to know what happened that Bobby tried to shoot John last time they saw each other. Will we likely find out later? That's probably a fifty-fifty shot.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuck. I hate knowing how this all ends. I hate knowing that despite both John and Sam being willing to throw their lives away to kill this demon, eventually it's gonna have to be Sam who buries Dean way too early.
Did you have to pull the fire alarm without any kind of layer between your hand and it, Sam??
Dean wanting to be a firefighter when he grew up is so sad. And the only thing making it sadder is that Sam didn't know. Dean's only had this life since not long after Sam was born while Sam was able to go after his own dreams.
Does holy water not work on really high ranking demons? Or is that really John?
Wait. Can...can demons possess more than one person at once?
YOU BROUGHT THE COLT?? DEAN. wtf. I know it saved Sam's life, but...
Oh. Oh no. I hate this part. I hate when Dean realizes that that couldn't be John because John wouldn't be proud of him. John would be pissed off that he wasted one of the very few magical bullets for THE Colt. (I have had to pause the episode because it hurts too much, and I don't wanna cry about Dean on his birthday. I'm gonna, though) Like not only can he not believe his dad would ever be proud of him, he's proven RIGHT. It's everything he's ever wanted to hear, but he knows it's not real.
I'm so not okay. Making Sam choose who to believe: the brother who's always looked out for him but who is now pointing a gun at their dad OR their dad who definitely is might be possessed by the demon that killed Mary and Jess but is also being held at gunpoint. And there's no winning here.
I was right about the holy water.
Use the force, Sammy.
DEAN'S BLEEDING OUT AND ALL HE CAN THINK IS THAT SAM NEEDS TO CHECK ON JOHN. I really can't with this family sometimes. The angst is so strong. John ordering Sam to shoot him for REAL (not just in the leg) while Dean begs him not to.
Holy shit...is this really how they're gonna end season one? All three Winchesters CRITICALLY INJURED IF NOT DEAD (you know, if I didn't know there were 14 more seasons) after the yellow eyed demon possesses some poor truck driver and rams his semi into the impala?! Legitimately don't think I've ever been so happy to only have to wait one day to get to the next season of a show.
"Been On My Mind...": (Making a prediction before Carry On Wayward Son even starts playing that there will be no room for that, but Meg might be flirty while threatening the boys. That's the closest we'll get) I was right.
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clairenatural · 3 years
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Please be a bitter Cas girl in the tags!! Ugh Cas' ending is so frustrating for me because yes he got the best ending out of everyone in TFW 2.0 but his ending still sucks. He spent his whole time struggling, being tortured, told awful things that attacked his already low self worth, constantly doubted how he fit into Dean's life and if Dean actually cared about him and in the end died for Dean. And in the end, none of these things were ever addressed. To make matters worse, he goes around making sure everyone knows they're cared for and that they are important for who they are and he never gets to hear that back from anyone. I won't take away from the fact that Cas' character development was amazing and out of TFW he was the one who changed the most and that was great to watch but ugh couldn't he have gotten SOMETHING for all the pain he's been through (although I really wanted Dean to say he loves Cas too, I would have also accepted Jack telling Cas he loves him because man Cas really did need to hear it from someone)
i don’t really have anything to add because you’re exactly right 😔 it’s been a month and if i think about it too hard i WILL cry 
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fandom-hoarder · 2 years
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Today's mask 😽 + the state of my fav spn hoodie 😿
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pinbitch · 3 years
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huh. like obviously billie should have been death til the end, last cosmically powerful being standing and all that. that’s indisputable. but cas as death? i’m listening
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gabrielxreader · 2 years
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Don't Blame Me
Request: Can I ask for a fluffy fic where reader gets angry because people are blaming her for things she had no fault for and Gabriel is there to hear her rant then he comforts her afterwards when she gets sad, maybe also involving reader being able to see his wings and Gabriel using it to calm her down? (anonymous)
Author: Holly
Warnings: A couple swear words.
Characters: Y/N and Gabriel
Words: 2,425
Y/N = Your Name
A/N: First fic in a while! I hope it makes you smile!
Something in the kitchen behind you broke as it fell courtesy of your thrown plastic cup. Sounded like you’d missed the trash can. Oh, well. The boys could blame you for the mess just like they blamed you for everything else. You were fuming.
Things had been sour since Castiel disappeared. You were reasonably sure whatever crisis, death, amnesia, or temper tantrum the angel was having would resolve itself eventually, because seriously, that angel seemed to have greater staying power than a cockroach. And that wasn’t a slight against Cas – you loved him just as much as the brothers did – but the fact that Dean couldn’t get his head out of his butt without his feathered man friend was making you feel angry at just about everyone. Dean’s agitation bled over to Sam, and with no one else around, they were both taking it out on you.
And you were sick of it.
The latest argument was so incredibly stupid it made you wonder how any of you’d managed to accomplish the things you’d had. Actually, it was so stupid it made you wonder how any of you even had the brain power just to walk across a room. Dean picked a fight with you for taking too long to fill the Impala’s tank when one of your fake cards declined. Though you tried to explain it was the card, and that it must’ve been flagged, Dean couldn’t let it go, and when you raised your voice to defend yourself, Sam took his side. Suddenly it was your fault that law enforcement or a credit bureau could do their job competently once in a while and now they had to pay for gas when it was technically your turn.
At least the one before that had been somewhat explainable. The three of you had, once again, mixed up which ghost was the murderer and which was benign, resulting in two more people nearly dying before you could rectify the mistake and send them both packing. Sam was furious with you for missing the key detail, conveniently forgetting that he and Dean had both missed it, too, and you’d all had equal opportunities to pluck it out and make a comment. You’d been so angry at each other than that you’d slept in the car.
Putting it shortly, you needed a break from them, and they needed a break from their testosterone, but since Cas wasn’t around to stop the bleeding, you thought their castration should probably wait until such a time as he could heal the eunuchs so they wouldn’t blame you for the embarrassing trip to the ER, too. Ugh. And when you suggested they drop you off in Kearney to get some space, they’d been only too willing to leave you at a bus station with a wad of cash and a useless credit card to get the ninety miles back to the bunker. Their excitement and absolute lack of concern for your safe transportation pissed you off the most.
It wasn’t like living with the Winchesters was always a piece of cake. Much as you loved them, they could be a lot to handle. Dean was still dealing with some arrested emotional development, and neither of them were helped by the massive amounts of trauma they both steadfastly refused to unpack. But usually the three of you could balance out. It was rarely so bad you needed to be away from them for more than a few hours to cool your heads. And you always hated when it came to that, because it was always you taking the break, never one of them. When the tension became too much, it always strengthened their bond at the expense of yours, which made you feel even worse. But then, it was no wonder they blamed you for everything. Those two were so damn codependent, when they started blaming each other, they unleashed the literal Apocalypse.
And despite knowing all of this – despite knowing they loved you and would make it up to you in their own ways, and that you hadn’t actually done anything wrong – it really, really hurt, not just to be happily shoved to the side for a while, but also for them to snap under pressure and resort to thinking poorly of you just to handle their own stress.
Now safely back in the bunker, you took a couple of hours to decompress. It was a big, big place, and it felt empty and cavernous without anyone there with you. Still, it was one of the safest places in the world, and over the few short years you’d had it, it had become home. You settled in the chilly library with some music and fixed headphones over your ears to drown out the quiet, white noise whirring of computers and fans.
It was too bad decompression didn’t work faster. Your back was so knotted up from muscle tightness that you could barely get into the music. After a few songs, you ripped the headphones off your head and tossed them behind the couch with an angry groan, right as the ruffling of wings registered in your ears.
The headphones hit something soft and then fell right to the floor. “Cas?” You asked hopefully, sitting up to look over the back of the sofa.
It wasn’t Cas. Gabriel stared down at the headphones blankly for a second before he held out a hand and they sprung back up into his grip. “What a welcome,” he said sarcastically, hooking them over his other arm.
You dropped back onto the couch. “Hey, Gabe,” you said glumly. “It’s not personal.”
Gabriel came and went as he pleased, his exception added to the anti-angel warding that protected the bunker. He, Castiel, and Hannah were the only angels that Team Free Will felt comfortable enough to allow into the bunker at all, although Hannah hadn’t come to Earth in over two years now. Gabriel never said, but you suspected he popped in and out due to a sense of loyalty after everything that had happened with Asmodeus and the way you’d all put your necks out for him. Years ago, when you thought he died fighting Lucifer, you’d grieved for the archangel more out of principle than out of personal loss, but since Ketch brought him to you, silent and bleeding, you’d formed a real relationship.
“Never is, Sugarplum,” the archangel said. The rolling of his eyes was audible. His shadow moved in the room, sliding across the couch and covering the rug on your other side before he dropped his elbows onto the cushions along the back. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Winchesters,” you said simply, knowing that Gabriel would understand better than most how stubborn and pigheaded they could be.
“Ah,” he said, nodding understanding. “No wonder you’re in a bad mood. I hear that’s terminal.”
You snorted and covered your mouth, embarrassed by the crassness. Just because you’d all thought it, didn’t mean you had the nerve to say it out loud – especially not to poor Sam.
“What’d they do this time?” He asked. His wings, hidden from your eyes, made a rustling sound and in between blinks he had moved from behind the couch to the opposite end, shoving your feet out of the way so he could sit.
“Oh, it’s not what they did,” you said in a sarcastic, scathing voice. “It’s what I did. Because, you know, I’m responsible for everything bad that happens, ever.” The subject being brought back up, and having someone who you knew wouldn’t get on you for badmouthing one of the brothers, opened the floodgates and turned off the filter on your mouth, allowing you to rant freely to the trickster angel. “Never mind that they’re the ones who started the Apocalypse and that their unnatural codependency also opened Purgatory, freed the Darkness, and nearly caused at least two other end-of-the-world disasters. I’m the incompetent one.”
Your blood felt like it was boiling. Gabriel had a look on his face that was somewhere between surprised at the size of the can of worms he’d opened and amused at how irritated you were with people that he only respected out of obligation more than actual liking.
“Stickiness on the upholstery?” You continued angrily, moving to sit up straight. “My fault, obviously, never mind that Sam was sitting there. Cut it close on the life-saving? Don’t mind that I did the life-saving to begin with. No more hot water? My bad, I should’ve quit and left the blood in my hair!” That one pissed you off the most because it had been so disgusting, and you’d even said they should shower first since they would be faster. You’d all been tired and hurting, and Sam and Dean kicked you when you were down.
“Those idiots wouldn’t know gratitude if it slammed ‘em in the face,” Gabriel agreed, getting on board with the ranting.
You nodded appreciatively. “Which is wild, because they call me family but really quickly forget when it doesn’t suit them anymore!” That was the part that hurt the most. You were so mad about how much they hurt you emotionally when they ganged up on you. “They never turn on each other when I’m around. Or even on Cas! They just take it all out on me. ‘Cause it’s like no matter how long we’ve been together or how much we’ve gone through, I still won’t be as much family to them as Cas is…”
You trailed off, realizing how your voice had quieted. It was true, you realized. Or, if it wasn’t true, then it was at least how you really felt, and what you really feared. Sam and Dean loved you, but they showed priorities once in a while. And you knew that that shouldn’t cheapen the sense of family that you usually found in their company, but it was a lie to say it didn’t hurt.
Gabriel sensed the tonal change and sat forward while scooting closer up the couch to you. “Hey now,” he said, his voice low and soft. You hadn’t hurt him sound so comforting since the parallel Michael had taken you hostage. “Those bozos would do anything to keep you safe.”
You nodded, unconvinced. They’d move heaven and hell, for sure, but there were lines they wouldn’t cross. Truthfully, you didn’t want them to; you’d rather leave peace behind than come back through violence. But that didn’t change the fact that a little part of you longed to know you were someone’s first priority.
“Heck,” Gabriel said, seeing you weren’t sold and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “It’s not just them, Sugar. You’re just as much family as anyone else. They’re just morons and can’t figure out how to show it better. But sometimes they come through. Dean said yes to spare your life.”
You nodded reluctantly, shutting your eyes and leaning against the archangel’s warm side. You hated that Dean had given in, but you’d known your safety was a leading cause.
“And Sam faced Luci for you. More than once,” Gabriel added.
You nodded again, wrapping your arms around yourself even as Gabriel turned his body closer to yours, all but holding you. That was true, too. Sam fought his worst fears and put his life in peril to make sure you came home.
As you were folded up in his arms, the air around you started to shimmer right before your eyes. Then the view through them tinted shades of amber and gold, and finally you saw the textures of feathers emerging. In a few seconds, the wings around you were opaque and solid, fully manifested. It wasn’t how his wings really were, but it was as close an approximation as he could show you without your eyes burning out (and that was the best-case scenario). You snuggled closer to his chest as the tops of his wings arched and the distal feathers slanted, overlapping around you and enveloping you in a safe cocoon of angel.
“And Cas literally got exploded keeping you safe,” Gabriel pointed out, then, under his breath, muttered, “Really, though, you’d think after the first two times he’d start avoiding that particular cause of death.”
You made a tiny giggle. It wasn’t funny, except it sort of was. The morbid humor was a necessity in a hunter’s life, and somehow the fact that people died and came back so often had become a punch line in front of everyone except that person’s face. Even you had been resurrected – twice now.
All of it was very true. You were very much a part of Team Free Will, and you were part of the family. You were being treated badly now, and it wasn’t the first time, and you knew that if push ever absolutely came to shove, Dean and Sam would defend each other to the end of their lines. But that didn’t mean you weren’t also cared for and valued. Sometimes they just got their heads stuck in their asses and forgot how to show their care. When you calmed down with time and distance, it was easier to keep in mind that the two of them had buckets of unprocessed PTSD and childhood emotional abuse. Their clinginess to each other was a coping mechanism more than a conscious choice. When they did make deliberate decisions, they never made you feel like an outsider.
“Thanks,” you said after a beat, dropping your cheek onto his shoulder. “That helped a lot.”
“I always do,” he claimed airily. The shifting of his feathers gave away his self-satisfaction. They were beautifully glistening, perfectly dry but sparkling with something powerful and unearthly. “That’s because I’m the smartest of the bunch.”
“I dunno… Who dated Kali again?”
Gabriel dug his fingers into your side, just under your ribs, in a way that almost could’ve been a tickle but was just a touch too hard. The result was an uncomfortable pressure that made you jolt and squirm, yanking yourself away and into the side of his wing. The feathers were firm, refusing to bend, but grazed over your skin as softly as fleece. Gabriel chuckled while you protectively moved your hands to cover your sides.
“Okay, point made,” you squeaked.
“Even if that counted – which I’m not saying it does,” he hastily said, holding his hand up to threaten another jab. “I think it’s cancelled out by being smart enough to stick close to you.”
“Aw,” you cooed, kissing his cheek. “Alright, you can have that one.”
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altarofcastiel · 3 years
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Always willing to bleed for the Winchesters
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princessmisery666 · 3 years
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#PM666Reads - August - Fic Rec
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Please heed all the warnings on the individual fics. I am not responsible for what you choose read.
I challenge everyone who sees this to read and Reblog one fic from the list 🤩🥳 tag me if you do
📚 Sam Wilson
The Parcae - @indyluckycharlie - People always talk about fate like it’s some great thing, but you know better. You know that fate is just a jerk who likes to mess up your perfectly happy life. In fact, you don’t even believe in her. Fate just might believe in you though.
Here We Go Again - @xbuchananbarnes - idiots in love
📚 Henry Cavill
Natural Alternatives - @the-soot-sprite - Henry helps you find a different cure for your cramps.
📚 Dean Winchester
Heard, Seen, Believed - @stusbunker - Seen: Test & Willing - Dean comes to terms with how things are changing between them. Can he make it up to her? What do either of them really want? & Believed: Brave & Complicit - She lets go, Dean catches her.
Dude, I Got A Girlfriend - @avanatural - Based on 12x11 “Regarding Dean.” Dean is progressively losing his memories. Sam calls Y/N to keep an eye on his brother. Dean has no idea who she is to him, and it turns out she doesn’t quite know, either. Or does she?
Miscommunication - @winchest09 - After moving to America, British hunter Y/N never expected her life to unfold the way it has. She never anticipated finding two brothers, who would quickly become her found family and she certainly never envisioned falling in love with one of them. Following her attempt to shield her heart, she failed to protect her body, leading her straight back to the Winchesters. So when the language barrier deepens her connection with a certain green eyed hunter, will she succumb to her deepest feelings or keep them at bay?
Last Memory (AO3) - @kittenofdoomage - Dean's transformation into a demon destroyed what was left of their marriage but you're not leaving without one last memory.
Whisky & Regret (AO3) - @kittenofdoomage - Months after the events of "Last Memory", Dean finally tracks her down.
Shirt - @impala-dreamer - dean's thoughts seeing his lover in his shirt and boxer making coffee after an eventful night😎
Some Superheroes Wear Blankets - @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters - Dean comes home to find you heartbroken. It’s time for him to evaluate the difference between his plans and his priorities.
Closer - @little-diable - Selfish as one could be Dean keeps him and the reader locked in a house, basking in those hours he gets to spend with her alone. With a bleeding wound and the sun finally rising, will the last minutes of the night give them enough comfort to act upon their feelings?
Til Death Do Us Part - @sofreddie - The happiest day of their lives. At least, it was supposed to be.
📚 Sam Winchester
Dead Sexy - @deanwanddamons - It is Y/N’s first time joining Sam on a fact finding mission during a hunt. How will it go?
Hands Off - @writethelifeyouwant - When someone mistakes you and Dean for a couple during a hunt, Dean decides it’s his duty as a friend to find you a man. Little does he know, Sam’s already taking care of that.
Decay - @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters - Dean said Sam could be saved. You just wanted to do right by your promise to the man you love, even if it won’t bring him back to you.
In Your Dreams - @calaofnoldor - In a world where your dreams are your soulmate’s memories, a call to Garth for backup changes Sam’s life forever. (Soulmate AU)
With These Hands (AO3) - @kittenofdoomage - She's got a suspicion Sam's up to something but it turns out she's miles off base.
Gorgeous - @justagirlinafandomworld - Sam Winchester ruined your life. And he might know it.
Laundromat - @watermelonlipstick - Gotta wash the clothes sometime, right?
Must Be Dreaming - @justagirlinafandomworld - You’d been dreaming of being with Sam Winchester forever. Life finally ponies up.
📚 Rowena MacLeod
Worth Her While - @fangirlxwritesx67 - When the Winchester brothers ask Rowena MacLeod to help them steal an amulet, she agrees – as long as she can make sure that the case is worth her while.
📚 Andy Barber
Ten Things I Hate About You - @cockslut-padalecki - When Y/N finally wins the case she’s been battling, there’s nothing left to do but celebrate, however inadvertently stumbles into her biggest rival, and prosecutor, Andy Barber, as he drowns his sorrows.
📚 Bucky Barnes
I'm Seeing Something I Like - @angrythingstarlight - Little bit of smut and whiny Bucky.
Island Breeze & Lights Down Low - @justagirlinafandomworld - You and Bucky have come a long way from when you first met. Set after tfatws.
Break The Back - @indyluckycharlie - It’s angsty and brainwashing- consistent with canon- is involved. Mentions of death and violence.
Not So Subtle - @firefly-in-darkness - The Soldier and the Spy aren’t being very subtle with their flirty ways. Will you play them at their own game or crumble at their beauty? -
Distraction On Halloween - @buckmecaptain - Bucky Barnes is stuck at a Tony Stark Halloween party, annoyed and bored.  What he needs is a little distraction.
Nota Est Metallum Gustum & P1 - @wonder-cole - Y/N has been in love with her best friend, Bucky, since he left to join the military. When he has to go on the run, will she wait for him? Or will the handsome new neighbour Frank Castle steal her away?
📚 Steve Rogers
Safehouse - @evansrogerskitten - While on the run you make a nearly fatal mistake, prompting a confrontation with the person you want to appease the most.
All Yours - @firefly-in-darkness - Steve’s a bad habit that you can’t break.
Unexpected Showers - @labella420 - Steve fucks you in his office and you should learn to expect the unexpected.
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