#always starts the hateful conversations

[emotinalsupportturtle]

sometimes a piece of media gets praised too much that I loose some appreciation for it (maybe because it raises expectations). The star beast however, is a piece of media which I love more every time I see it criticized on mainstream social media

#This is probably because 99% of the people hating on it are just showcasing their prejudice and intolerance #If there was genuine criticism that’s fine #Like I absolutely loved the episode #But I wouldn’t say it was the best dw episode or my favourite #i found it heartwarming and awesome and i honestly didn't think it would lead to such intense reactions #because to paraphrase david tennant; doctor who has always been about inclusivity #A strength of any piece of art is when it causes extreme reactions and starts conversations #And this episode undoubtedly does both of those things #the more anti-woke anti-trans critisism i see makes me appreciate this episode so much more #For my first point take the joker it was good but just not as groundbreaking as everyone said it was #Doctor who #the star beast #60th anniversary #lgbtq representation #media critique

[bylertruther]

do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?

that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.

maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.

like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.

he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.

of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.

so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.

of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.

just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.

#will byers #byler #mine #long post #will #anyway. this is how i always interpreted the i hate WHO i am line especially in conjunction with the word ''mistake'' + being different #within the context of EVERYTHING that's happened to will and continues to happen to him and how unique it is to him in this narrative #bc rly. if you were will.... wouldn't you feel like a mistake? even outside of that outside of the supernatural i'm speaking to my #friends that have ''Something Wrong'' with them. when something happens to you and you're not the same after and you're surrounded #by people who are able to move on and be normal—don't you ever have those moments where you feel like a mistake? when you're #growing up and still interested in your same old interests but your friends start moving on and then you see that they went back to #those interests in your absence—don't you feel like you were the problem then? when people are able to be brave and you can't #find it within yourself to overcome your fear—don't you hate that feeling? don't you feel that negativity towards yourself when you #know that you SHOULD do something but you can't bring yourself to and it works against yourself? like. everything that has happened #to will E V E R Y T H I N G !!!!!!!!!!!!! can easily make anyone no matter what part of him you relate to the most understand that #u kno wht i mean? anyway. i jus wanted to bring this up bc his life is a fucking tragedy even without the gay stuff n his current pov on th #and the way that That conversation always centers on fear and bravery it's like. obviously being gay is not easy in that era but i don't #think that line is ''i hate being gay'' with no factoring in of the great many things that have happened to him which alienate him further #as well as with how he does want mike to know and his alan turing poster and his talk with jonathan etc etc #his conflict has always centered around how other people treat him and his issue with that bc that's what makes him feel bad #that just because he's different that doesn't mean that he's Different and must be treated as such #he's different and has people that make him feel BETTER for it like look at s2 for example all of those talks abt using what he perceives #as a weakness abt himself as a strength that no one else can bring to the table. and in s3 when he still believed in being a nerd #and never getting girlfriends etc but when it came from mike thts when he called himself stupid n started down this path bc now #there's that sprinkle of doubt. n tht doubt is the scariest thing in the world—understandably so #also. he literally has an evil monster in his brain like bdkfjhsbkdjhfbskj IT'S JUST A LOT. #he is different for many reasons and has even more reasons to hate Who he is the kind of person that he is #jus my take 😁👍

[torchickentacos]

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#the 'they would not fucking do that' meme is starting to feel like yall just wanna make fun of people's headcanons #but tumblr is not ready for that conversation lmao #'they wouldn't start a family' okay maybe that's just not your trope. i get it. not mine either usually #but like. maybe they WOULD in that person's fic! maybe we can learn to like that trope more!!! #idk man my creative philosophy has always been 'have fun and let everyone else have fun too' #like. i get so sad when people make a point to disagree with headcanons #maybe it's a specific sore spot for me after Situations and Circumstances #but just. we can all coexist. we don't need to prop one thing up as ULTIMATE 'HE WOULD DO THAT AND NOTHING ELSE' #it comes back to how canon is more important to some people than others #but we all have to coexist in the fandom spaces anyways and find ways to get along #we can have different ideas all meshing and coexisting!!! i do it with my friends every single day!!!!! #like!!! palletshipping and oakshipping are holding hands and skipping off into the sunset in my friend group #same with contest and respect. vibing #we make it work. we vibe with other people and have fun #i promise you'll like fandom more if you focus on the happy parts of it and not the parts you hate

[justinefrischmanngf]

i’m sooooooooo stressed about a message i just sent but i am glad i sent it bc if i hadn’t i would’ve spent the rest of however long thinking about sending it and i don’t like that at all but also my heart is literally pounding in my chest what if he hates me and doesn’t want to be friends anymore…………………

#I DONT LIKE BREACHING THE COWORKER VS FRIEND BOUNDARY BECAUSE MY BOUNDARIES ARE SO THIN BUT I AM ALWAYS TERRIFIED OF PUSHING SOMEONE ELSE #TOO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO THIS GUY AND I SPENT SO LONG BITCHING TOGETHER SATURDAY NIGHT AT A PARTY AND HE SMOKED MANY OF MY CIGARETTES #SO HOW MUCH CAN HE REALLY HATE ME #I AM SO FULL OF ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO SCARY IVE GOT MY PHONE ON DO NOT DISTURB BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHEN HE REPLIES #HORRIFYING. TERRIFYING. I WISH I HAD SENT A MESSAGE TO HIM BACK IN FUCKING JULY THE FIRST TIME I WANTED TO SEND A MESSAGE TO HIM. #HORRIBLE HORRIBLE STUFF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #IF I FUCK THIS UP THEN I DO ACTUALLY FUCK THINGS UP QUITE SEVERELY BC HE IS ONE OF THE PEOPLE I MOST ENJOY HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH JUST #IN GENERAL. BUT ALSO. I KNOW HE LIKES HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH ME AS WELL SO IT SHOULDNT FUCK IT UP TOO MUCH #BUT WHAT IF IT DOESSSSSSSSDD #AND THEN I HAVE TO SEE HIM. AT WORK. ON THURSDAY. #THIS COULD GO SO WRONG BUT IT ALSO MIGHT BE THE START OF A LOVELY ABILITY TO TEXT CASUALLY #WHICH IS WHAT IM AIMING FOR BUT JESUS CHRIST AM I SCARED RIGHT NOW #HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL SO SCARED

[dixidin]

The fact that we got the mf who saved Childe when he was in the abyss BEFORE Sandrone...... Sandrone lovers we are not making it outta this one are we?

#I JUST WANNA SEE MY WIFE *falls to my knees with fist up in the air* #HOYOVERSE STOP GATEKEEPING HER!!!!! #IM TIRED OF THIS #Sandrone.... content.. please *I start crawling on the floors with my hands as if I'm dehydrated in the desert* #Its's true tho #not even tumblr content can give me her.... frowny face :((((( #Sandrone lovers. Are you guys even alive? ARE WE ALL OKAY????!?!??! (the answer is no) #Hoyoverse is gate keeping all of the blonde harbingers (La Signora and Sandrone) #On another note. Skrim (I think that's the girls name who saved Childe) literally looks like Bronya #Put their photos together... its the same mf #Back to Sandonre because she's my wife and I love her and I miss her and SANDRONE COME HOME PLEASSSEEE #How tf are we gonna get Capitano and Columbina both in Natlan if Hoyo ain't even gonna give us Arlecchino and Sandrone together??? #We got Childe..... but I hate that bitch #Plus he's always in EVERY FUCKING NATION SINCE LIYUE!!!! #This mf better not be in Natlan and trying to converse with Capitano..... MR PRESIDENT GET DOWN!!!! THE GINGER IS HERE #Hell we got DOTTORE and SCARAMOUCHE WAY BEFORE WE'RE GETTING SANDONE #Praying that she's gonna be in the game by 4.2 and she just wasn't in the trailer.... let me be delulu #Anyways I am not doing good after that 4.2 trailer. Hoyoverse is 100% paying for my therapy #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact fontaine #genshin impact 4.2 #sandrone genshin impact #sandrone #long list of tags today boys

[dinosaur-mayonnaise]

three way emails are so ANNOYING

you add a third person and suddenly none of the regular social rules apply.

and don't even get me STARTED on cc's. i can never be a corporate girlie bc to me these are the horrors.

#are you meant to say 'dear all'? #are you meant to name the two other people? #who knows #if one of the people reply to your email saying only 'dear [y/n] do you reply back saying only 'dear [their name]'??? #do you still include the third person in the 'send to' option? #or do they get downgraded to 'cc'? #and what if the other two people are having a conversation without you but still including you in the email #are you meant to acknowledge them? #bc i always find 'yes i've received this' emails such a waste of time #but also is it rude to ignore them? #but also are you intruding on their conversation if they're talking amongst themselves? #but also would they still send it to you if they didn't want you to reply? #or do they just want you to be a passive observer? #don't even get me started on when YOU'RE the one cc'd in #let alone being bc'd in #pain torture agony #i hate this someone needs to burn outlook #let's go back to handwritten letters through carrier pigeon #or better yet telegrams which charge by the letter so you don't have to bother with pleasantries

[ra-vio]

I thought doing this meme would help me draw and that visually seeing how my style changed would make me feel good.

#my oc #rune #utau #out of these my favorite is 2013. i dont know the other years #i missed this monday because I haven’t been feeling well at all lately #and i dont know when im gonna feel better #i spent way too much time on this. i redrew 2018 3 times and i hate all 3 of them i hated 2018 #2023 is weird because my art style is always changing #i started using procreate this year. it fucks up all the colors because of color conversion #so everything is often more dull #thats not why 2023 is weird tho i just have a hard time staying consistent #its consistent enough that i know i drew it but inconsistent in that if i drew it again it would look different #i made. collages for all four of these to get a feel for what characteristics to draw #2013 is a complete mess theres like 3 different styles happening and thats not even all of the #2016 is the most consistent. 2018 is. ehhhh. #if you wanted to see 2023 you can just scroll through the last few posts here

[idlebug]

finding a blog that posts cool art music and fashion: 😁

all the other posts are reminiscent of 2014 "pale blogs", full of "ballet aesthetic" adjacent images, very pale thin women's bodies / exploitative model photography, childish anime girls in sexy poses with meme text over them, and text posts from op talking about dieting and skincare: 🙁

#this might sound extremely specific but i s2g i always see this shit on the blogs that show up on the 'in your orbit' thing #and that's kind of insane considering how much of that shit i have blocklisted and how meticulously i try to filter through before followin #and it's esp disappointing when i see this kind of blog is where a cool mutual of mine is reblogging from #i hate being so closely adjacent to this stuff like COME ONNNN i am trying to live in a bubble over here man this is why i'm not on tiktok #and yet i still can't escape the red scare podcast ass aesthetic contamination leaking onto my dash #like this is why i'm just gonna have to stay on my nerdblogging shit forever because it's the only way i can use social media without #having to be subjected to like weird covert proana posting and unendinggggggg obsessive conversation about 'beauty' #i used to be one of those annoying ass fandomblogger turned normie talking about skincare all day and it was the lamest thing i ever did #get real and start blogging about yaoi before i kill you <- joke #ok i'm getting mad on the internet this is bleak i need to go take a walk and look at the stars and the moon and then delete this xo #hashtag spread love hashtag love wins

[watatsumiis]

Heya, I'm not entirely sure how to start this post, it feels a little weird making it at all, but I realised it might be some kind of necessary evil or something like that.

To that anon who sent me those three asks last night (all within the span of a few minutes and the same typing style, so I know they're from the same person), I wanted to reach out to you. I'm not going to sit here and call you names and mock you because that's simply not the kind of person I am, despite the things you said and the assumptions you made. This is going on the idea that you're not a troll stirring drama and just ... someone who had something to say, but wasn't sure how to say it.

I know sometimes that anonymous feature is really tempting, especially when you feel like someone has wronged you and you want to give them a piece of your mind in a very abrupt manner, but it's not a productive way of conversation at all. All it does is upset people (including yourself, because I know in a lot of cases you'll end up refreshing and waiting for some kind of response that you probably won't get).

If you have something you'd like to have a conversation about, you can reach out calmly and maturely and have a genuine conversation with the person instead of sending them messages that they'll likely gloss over and probably even laugh at. I figured you likely won't do it, so I want to reach out and invite you to have a genuine conversation with me, no hard feelings about the asks, I'd just like to get your perspective and clarify on some of the things you've said. You're free to DM me or send me an ask off-anon, since I've blocked your anon asks. This kind of behaviour is genuinely not healthy for anybody and even if you don't reach out, I hope you're able to take some time and reflect on that, take a step back from the intricacies of social media for a bit and go from there.

#general barks #this goes for anybody by the way - if anything i say or talk about or reblog concerns you and youd like to clarify then please #just reach out instead of sending anonymous messages please. im always willing to sit down and have a conversation #with someone who can get their points across in a calm and mature manner. #discourse #anon hate #let me know if theres anything else i should be tagging this as - im happy to do so #not quite the note i wanted to start off on today but that's okay. i suppose its sparking a much needed conversation #discourse and drama just isnt something id like to be involved in

[vulpinesaint]

"how do you handle conflict with people you love" well that's very simple. i just very specifically pick people that i know i will never have any conflicts with ever and then if i do i either avoid it as if it didn't exist or end the relationship in my head entirely. no conflict to handle. very simple

#yes this is healthy. i prommy [ actively destroying relationships as we speak ] #is it really toxic if you just let a relationship fester in your mind while putting no emotional weight into it so it peters out 🙄 #not even ghosting just like. i no longer initiate conversation. i no longer say i love you a thousand times. #i no longer put that emotional labor into our interactions. #if you had enough of an issue with losing that relationship with me you would try to fix it. and nobody has so far #^^^^^ hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate #anyway all of my dear beloved close people are people that i do not argue with because we're just good for each other. case closed #in my heart i believe i will never ever have something to argue over with miffy we're just too perfect for each other 👍 #realistically we would resolve issues before they even started i can't see us arguing #realistically or emotionally. that shit would break my heart. #need more bitches with an anxious preoccupied attachment style in my life those mfers are the only ones that get me ‼️ #(other people who are also scared to death of losing people and dislike conflict) #realistically i could work out any problems annelise and i have. but anytime we have an actual Issue to resolve #which is always SUPER minute honestly not even worth mentioning #it fucks me up for Days. and lives with me after. #not uh. not healthy but. dgjkfh that's what we're rocking wit #is anybody out there is anybody listening is anybody perceiving me #valentine notes #relationship posting

[bangcakes]

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#the more it sinks in... the more surreal it feels. like HDJDJDJDJDJDJ #the Way i doubted whether he wanted to keep in touch with me when literally..... said he would... how he always answers me... #messages me when he has news kr something to say..... hangs out with people he doesnt like just to have like.. moments with me.... #i really cant handle it OYXKYDKYTKDDO #its so fuckin weird. like even if we end up just friends... the experience has been so wild..... #like lmao this time last year we had had like. 1 conversation JDJDJDJXJZJZ #literally sat a seat away from each other an entire semester and dint talk til the last day. oh its so funny #god i cant believe we're friends.... #i havent talked to him since i saw him last week at that dinner.. i cant really think of anything to say BDDNDDNNDND #been focusing on job applications #i handed a second one in yesterday and started a third today. hoping to have it done tomorrow but... its not due until feb so... i have som #time to perfect it :)))) #i really hate this stuff. like god it takes so much out of me..... #i'll probs update him on how many ive applied to idk. trying not to overthink HDJDJDJDJDJJ #im not really the type to message unnecessarily and neither is he so hhhhhh lmao #itll be fine.... #personal #have i mentioned hes my favourite :p

[hella1975]

my mum now knows what fanfiction is and thinks it's 'really cool' and that i should 'give it a go'

#:'))) #it was such a sweet conversation actually #basically ive just had this two days with bam of just being able to totally be myself re my writing and fic and all that #bc it's a HUGE part of my personality that im used to just keeping top secret at all costs #and specifically just our time in waterstones was so <333 #and i was like okay this is actually a good way to bring fic up to my mum actually #bam i used your dissertation as a convo opener actually lmao i was like 'oh so it's super interesting basically-' #and i explained what fanfic was to her! and she thinks it's so cool! #she literally was not weird about it at all and i kinda knew she wouldnt be bc im very much the problem #when it comes to limiting myself like IM the one who internalised all this shame around writing IM the one so scared of being 'cringe' #and my mum has always hated watching me do that to myself so i think she was really happy just seeing me talking about this stuff #she made a really good point actually she was like 'every sanditon adaption is fanfiction bc austen never actually finished it' #and 'kate bush's wuthering heights could also be a form of fanfiction' #i was like babygirl you're RIGHT and you're getting way more into this than i expected lmao #next step: tell her i accidentally started a cult and am weirdly popular in the online writing sphere #we're making progress folks this is huge for me and it only took me two fucking years LMAO

[lavend3r-stardust]

Idk i just wanna be held and comforted or some sappy shit. I just wanna feel worthy of affection and know that people actually want me for who I am instead of what I do for them, i don't wanna the back-up friend anymore. I don't wanna reach for shit that isnt even there anymore, like i'm trying to hold onto nothing. And i keep embarrasing myself by trying to start talking with them and they just sit there like . . . They don't care. They're not looking at me, they're just working and waiting for someone else. That's all they do. Tolerate me and always talk with other people. They never fucking needed me and that's ok. I'll cut them off for my sake. I can't keep going back to people who don't care for me when i could have better conversations with gravedirt.

#hurts to cut them off because you thought they could be everything you wanted in a friend . . . but you forget about them after a few weeks #they were just an obsession i had for 5 years because i thought they could fill in the gap my old friend left behind when she moved away #clearly they have priorities and i'm not one of them that's fine #i hate inviting them over bc interactions are so fucking shallow with me and they clearly care more for everyone else #it's always those ppl in their circle and i dont feel like i part of them yk? i'm not in the group i just follow them around like a dog #if they can't reach out to me i won't waste my time on them . . . because it's always me who starts conversations and they never do #shira talks #vent post #tw vent #venting #rant post #personal rant

[forgive-the-sea]

i think somewhere along the line (in my experience) after 2020 reader fan fic became less about enjoying a story and more about inserting ourselves into stories and idk how to feel about that

#i mean we are always meant to insert ourselves into stories in some capacity #that's the whole point #to get lost in a story in a world to empathize with characters to live in their shoes #but then things became about *seeing yourself* in a story and i think that's a slippery slope #ofc every one deserves to feel represented but it becomes a problem when you make that other people's problem #sure you can start a conversation about representation in media #but ff writers are just guys (gn) who do this for fun and for their love of writing #and i imagine it must feel really weird for someone to be like hey why did you give reader x trait that's not me like??????? #do you tell published authors their mcs don't fit you???? like what????? #also as an aside personally for me self insert and in a similar vein self shipping is....a slippery slope #like yes when things are great it's fun to think abt me n my faves but also sometimes i hate myself & i DON'T want to think abt myself ykno #also this isn't meant to be discourse-y these are just my thoughts and i think part of why tumblr has felt weird for me in recent years #rina rambles

[bogos-bint3d]

Oooooooo you wanna find me great incredible Undyne centric content that I haven't seen before and will be consumed by ooooooooooo

#i say this because you genuinely cannot understand just how insane over her i am that i have legitimately seen almost all the interesting- #-content about her #i am not fucking kidding #if its on like the first 3 pages of anywhere ive searched for her ever. i have seen it. tumblr youtube ao3 google i HAVE SEEN!!!!!!! #ok well not as much with ao3. simply because im always searching for something specific on there. so like. there probably will be some- #-really good things on there i havent seen yet #but still. i have very high standards if there is anything I don't like ill spontaneously combust #and im legitimately like 94% i know literally every single thing about her mentioned in the game. so you wont be able to surprise me with- #-anything there either. but also you never really know so #i mean yeah just feel free to talk to me about her at any time. I wont be able to start the conversation. because like i just cant #but if you mention something interesting enough in the first sentence ill probably be able to keep the conversation going for a good while #sorry i probably sound really rude and snobbish rn cause im all like ''ugh i already know everything im so smart'“ #''whatever show me will be beneath me'' BUT I SWEAR THAT IS NOT HOW IM TRYING TO COME OFF #IM REALLY REALLY SORRY I JUST GENUINELY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET ACROSS HOW I N E E D IT TO BE SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING THAT ILL REALLY- #REALLY WANT TO SEE #IM SO SO SORRY I HATE THAT I SOUND SO RUDE HERE I JUST. like guys i just really want to see something new‚ something thatll make me happy. #sigh #okokok. #all good guys #uhm. yeah. maybe if you find something maybe tell me but also idk because what if i already know about it then dont know what to say. i just #i j . i dont even know man #ok im done #undyne