#also would be very satisfying for his haters to watch him get a seat

[dreamwithluv]

traitor. huang renjun.

wherein y/n & renjun break up on 'good' terms, but he's soon to be seen with his best friend that he'd always be clingy and touchy with. y/n thinks this is the most devastating thing, so she turns her thoughts into lyrics. renjun hears the song on the radio one day, thinking that it's by y/n and it's about him. he comes to the realization that he misses y/n and will do anything to have her back in his arms.

warnings female!reader x renjun. this story will probably be all over the place so bare with me. 😭 also it's in 3rd person & based off of olivia rodrigo's song, traitor. enjoy! <3

It's been two weeks time since Y/N and Renjun split ways, and they're still missing each other. Y/N struggled with taking down all their couples pictures and deleting his contact. Meanwhile Renjun was in a groupchat with NCT Dream and they would endlessly talk about how he fumbled the bag pretty badly with Y/N.

They weren't wrong. Y/N and Renjun really had it made. They were both in their 20s, but had been lovers since high school. Y/N remembered all the times they hid behind the bleachers and teased each other. Realization soon hit. They would never have that again. And Y/N couldn't seem to wrap her head around the thought.

Renjun was still heartbroken, so he found a distraction, or rather, a pain reliever. He figured dating his best friend would help him to fall out of love with Y/N. Well, he was very wrong. It only made him miss her more. He never got the light but affectionate kisses placed on his face whenever he got home, or the movie nights where it was 5% actually watching the movie and 95% talking.

Posting on his Instagram to have his friends support this sudden relationship was the only solution, although it wouldn't solve anything, it'd be fun to watch everyone react and jump out of their seats when they see that Renjun and Y/N had broken up.

Without knowledge of this, Y/N had forgotten to unfollow Renjun. She had been scrolling through her rather dry Instagram feed when she saw a post with Renjun's username captioned "my love." It wouldn't have bothered Y/N that much if he'd just changed the caption, because that's what he used to call her.

Tears started forming in her eyes, which eventually rolled down her cheeks and down to the neck of her shirt. She needed someone to talk to because she couldn't stand bottling up her emotions anymore, so she called the only person she knew would truly help and not just make a joke of the matter.

Kim Doyoung.

A ring could be heard from both sides of the phone as Doyoung picked up within about five seconds. "Hey, Y/N," Doyoung voiced into the phone, setting it to speaker. "Doyoung-ah. I'm not over him," Y/N mustered out before drowning her face in tears and muffled sobs. "Woah, relax Y/N," Doyoung comforted. "I'll be over in 10 minutes."

He arrives at her house, as assigned, ringing the doorbell two times before Y/N answers. Smeared mascara and smudged lipstick could be seen on her face. Doyoung's heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight. "Y/N..." he whispers, engulfing her into a hug.

"Please help me get over him."

One hour later . . .

God knows where the hell Doyoung had managed to bring in a chalkboard, but he did, and was currently lecturing Y/N about the do's and don'ts of relationships. She felt like dozing off right then and there because this was no use at all. She'd been in three past relationships, she knew what to do in one.

It was only until Doyoung started coming up with plans that she started tuning in. "Plan A," he stated, clicking his chalk against the board. "Music. If you can't figure out a way to get over him, write songs about it." Y/N let out a satisfied 'ooh', signaling she'd been (finally) listening in to the conversation.

"Plan B," Doyoung then again clicked his chalk against the chalkboard, underlining the words 'Plan B.' "Make him jealous somehow." Y/N nodded and anticipated the final plan, Plan C. Come to think of it, the name of the plans should've been more fun and interesting, but oh well.

"And...Plan C," Y/N bit her lip, eager to hear what he had to say, "If all else fails, I'll get you two pints of ice cream and binge watch So Not Worth It with you." The girl laughed at Doyoung's drastic change of plans. "Okay," she giggled, wiping off a tear.

"Now, wash your face and stop drowning your sorrows in Chips Ahoy cookies."

A couple minutes later . . .

Doyoung left the house, leaving a very satisfied Y/N alone at last. She promised herself she would never cry over Renjun for as long as she breathes. Promises are meant to be broken and she soon realized she wouldn't be able to keep the promise, but it didn't really matter. It wasn't like she was promising anything to Renjun himself.

Remembering what Doyoung had suggested, Y/N whipped out her notepad and got to brainstorming ideas for songs. When she was done with that, now came the hard part. Writing the actual song. An idea soon came into play, and she started writing once more.

You betrayed me,

and i know that you'll never feel sorry

for the way i hurt.

yeah, you talked to her when we were together

you gave me your word, but that didn't matter

it took you two weeks to go off and date her

guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.

Y/N finished writing the song and sang it to see how it sounded. Perfect. It'd take awhile to actually get the song out, mainly because she has to record it in a studio and record a music video that correlates to the song. Y/N didn't know any producers so she posted an offer on her social media platforms which was basically her asking for a personal producer.

Someone eventually got to the post and he was luckily a very famous producer. They had met up and started recording the song. It took a couple days because Y/N had little to no singing training or practice, but she soon got the hang of it. All she needed was to match her tone to the flow and beat of the song.

Y/N really didn't have the energy to film a music video, so she just made a lyric video instead.

It really took off, because the producer she was working with promoted the song on all platforms, and so did Y/N. There were dozens of comments on the video and most of them were positive, others were criticism and the rest was just people wondering who the song was about.

The next day when Renjun was driving somewhere he turned on his radio and heard Y/N's voice. "Hello, it's Y/N. Tune in to hear my debut song, Traitor." Renjun smiled inside at the thought of hearing Y/N's singing voice as he only knew how she sounded when she spoke normally.

As the song started, Renjun started to find the groove of the beat. He was tapping his fingers on his steering wheel until the song started.

"Brown guilty eyes and little white lies, yeah, I played dumb but I always knew that you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse, I kept quiet so I could keep you."

Just when the beat dropped and the "you betrayed me" part played, realization washed over him. This song is about me, he thought. A wave of guilt overcame him as his facial expression saddened. He'd noticed how she poured her whole heart into the song, all because of Renjun, who left her heartbroken.

"Shit," he mutters to no one in particular, "I have to win her back."

Night time . . .

It's about 1:30 AM when Renjun decides to finally settle into bed. Wrapping the blanket around himself, all he could think about Y/N and how she would snuggle herself into his arms after a long and warm shower. Without thinking, he messages Y/N.

junnie <3 (1:32 AM)

i miss you.

read 1:32 AM

mi primer amor 💞 (1:33 AM)

i miss you too :( i really loved you, renjun.

read 1:33 AM

junnie <3 (1:34 AM)

i know, and i'm sorry. i know you aren't ready to forgive me, but i'll be waiting for you, my love.

read 1:34 AM

mi primer amor 💞 (1:35 AM)

thank you. again, i love you so much and i really miss you. friends?

read 1:35 AM

junnie <3 (1:36 AM)

best friends, i love you! now get some rest girl 😭

read 1:36 AM

mi primer amor 💞 (1:37 AM)

finnneee you hater </3 goodnight!

read 1:37 AM

junnie <3 (1:38 AM)

goodnight <333 get lots of rest :))

read 1:38 AM

that's about it! i'll make sure to do a part two if you want it. i hope you enjoyed!

#kpop #nct #renjun #female reader #jehyun #jaehyun #izone #nct u #nct dream #renjun fic #renjun ff #nct ff #angst au #nct 127 #exo #twice #everglow #1team #aisha #yiren

[kunderdogs]

Ateez / GF Defending Them 1/3

This was requested a while ago, and honestly it gave me a hard time but I hope this is enjoyable. This is part 1/3. I had to divide them or else it would’ve been a whole month for me to post it!

All members have a different “scenario” but please this is just what I think. This doesn’t reflect the members of Ateez so take it lightly! I may continue Hwa’s at a later time :)

Also, I don’t condone violence, but if you have to smack a bitch than by all means...

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Hongjoong:

You hadn't been dating for very long when Hongjoong noticed your protective nature. Being older than him, you had motherly instincts that would show up every now and again. However, it was usually fretting over him missing meals to work or getting sick and still going to music shows or the studio. Never had he seen you violent. You were so cute and positive but this was so surprising, he literally didn't know what to do. Your safety being put in harms way was never okay with him.

Hongjoong doesn't even know what led up to this confrontation at all. They were hanging out in the parking lot of some restaurant, saying goodbye to their friends and some of the other members who wanted to go drinking. A stranger who was walking past, had said something from a distance and then mistaken Yunho's response as mocking him. Thus, the man got into the younger's face and starting pushing him.

Being the leader and the most rational, of course Hongjoong had to step in and deescalate the situation. While this was happening, you were in the passenger seat of Hongjoong's car, speaking to one of the stylists when she gasped and turned her attention to the scene. When you turned, you saw the guy push against your boyfriend's chest, forcing him back a few steps. That's all you needed to see to have you pop out of the seat and march over there.

Not knowing the problem, you stood a few feet away from the argument but honestly you were getting heated listen to this asshole mouth off while your boyfriend was calmly trying to get him to leave them alone. Five minutes of their back and forth, with Yunho and Mingi piping in and honestly making it worse, had you seeing red.

"If he has something to say, he should fucking say it to me instead of behind my back," the guy yelled, fire burning in his gaze that was directed at Hongjoong.

Nodding along, Hongjoong put his hands up as a way to keep the peace. "I get that, but it was just a misunderstanding and we don't want any trouble-"

"If you didn't want any trouble," he barked, putting his hands on Hongjoong's chest for a third time, "then maybe you little bitches should get fucking lost."

When he shoved your boyfriend roughly, you saw the tick in his jaw and how his fist clenched but he composed himself once again. You, however, were not that rational and didn't even try to hide it. So, putting the weight on your back foot you sent your balled fist into his jaw, enjoying the way his head snapped the side.

A lot happened in that next second. One, the guy you punched was not expecting to get swung on so he crumbled to the ground, yelping and holding his face. Two, the people you were with gasped and immediately tried to pull you away before he could retaliate. Three, Hongjoong grabbed your wrist and pulled you to his side. Four, you managed to wiggle out and would've done more damage to the crumbled man if your arms hadn't been yanked back.

"Babe, babe!" You could hear cursing and yelling but over it all you heard Hongjoong trying to calm you down.

His arms were wrapped your waist to drag you back to the car but you turned back to the bleeding guy being lifted by his friends. "Touch my boyfriend again and I'll break your teeth!"

Satisfied with the dazed look on the guys face, you allowed Hongjoong to toss you in the car before getting in himself and getting the fuck out of there. Looking out the window, you noticed almost everyone was hopping in their cars and leaving too. You were still fuming as he drove and you could tell, just from glancing to your side, that he wasn't in the best of moods either.

Suddenly, he pulled off to the side of the road, at the park near your house, and quickly turned to you. "Are you hurt? Let me see your hand." He took your hand in his gently and examined it for a silent minute.

He sighed after a while and even though you were older, you suddenly felt like a child that disobeyed their parent with how he looked at you. "Baby, that could've been very bad for you. While I appreciate you always having my back, you shouldn't resort to violence. I had it under control."

Not meaning to, you scoffed loudly, "Letting someone push you is not having it under control. I don't care about what happened. All I know is that he was putting his hands on you and I'll be damned if I just sit back and let that happen to you. What if he hit you?"

"What if he hit you?!" He snapped, and you paused for a moment. He was usually so gentle but you figured everyone had their breaking points eventually. Moving to face him fully, you were about to plead your case again until you felt his fingers lace between yours.

"If you got hurt," he exhaled, "I wouldn't know what to do with myself. So please, if anything like that happens again, let's use our words first. Promise me."

A little miffed by his word choice, you relaxed into the leather seats, squeezing his hand back. "I promise. But if it gets physical, I will jump in and kick anyone's a-"

His lips cut you off with a soft peck. "You're so cute when you're feisty."

Seonghwa:

Seonghwa was not confrontational at all. He much rather let someone else handle a bad situation or apologize and leave it at that. So when they were doing an impromptu to fan meet at their busking appearance, the boys were a bit shocked to encounter a rather disgruntled "fan".

Since you had experience in makeup, the boys' manager asked you to do them a favor and fill in for one of the MUAs who had fallen sick and couldn't make it. Naturally, you agreed and were helping out when you noticed the quiet lull that had taken over to the side. You and other MUA made your way to see if there was a problem, only to see Seonghwa looking very uncomfortable and exchanging words with a fan.

"I just don't see why you had more lines than Yeosang this comeback," she snarled. "Your voice is mediocre at best."

Tight-lipped, Seonghwa just glanced to the side. "Ah. I'll work harder then."

The "fan" scoffed at that, putting her hand on his arm with her nails tightening into his skin. "You don't have to do that. Just quit the group. I'm sure it would lessen everyone's burden. They would be amazing without you. You're just a pretty face, anyway."

You heard enough and were coming up to the two when you felt the MUA's hand trying to pull you away as she said something about just telling security but it was too late. No one was going to speak to your man like that, fan or otherwise! Noticing you advancing on them, Seonghwa felt his eyes widen. The look of murder on your face was one he did not see often, but if looks could kill, the girl in front of him would be dead ten times over. He tried to remove her hand from his arm and get her to move down the line, but she was still bashing him, not knowing the danger she was about to be in.

"Hey!" You shouted, grabbing the girl's arm and twisting it off your boyfriend. "Just who the hell do you think you are?"

Confused and now slowly getting pissed that you had hurt her, the girl looked you up and down. "Excuse me? Get lost, foreigner. I'm a fan having a conversation he-"

Moving a step closer to her, you made sure to not break eye contact, even when Seonghwa was tugging on your wrist from over the table. "If you were a true fan, you wouldn't be bashing him or telling him to leave the group. You're a hater and you should get out of here before I have security toss your ass out."

"Who do you think you are?" She laughed, her hand pushing the middle of your chest. "All I said was the truth!"

You smacked her hand away. That was the only sound for a second and it was then you realized that all the attention was on the three of you, and security was trying to make their way through the crowd.

"None of that was true. Every member is valuable and they shouldn't be disrespected by a petty simple minded person like you. Oh and keep your hands to yourself." And with that, you shoved her back a few steps, making her stumble into the arms of two security guards. Kicking and screaming, she was dragged out, with other fans shooting her glares and looks of disgust.

Seonghwa took your wrist again and dragged you away from everyone's curious gazes. It wasn't as secluded being as it was behind the company vans they drove over in.

His burning gaze said more than his words did. "We'll talk about this at home. For now, stay in the back." Seonghwa was not pleased in the slightest bit.

You pouted after him, the irritation lingering long after they wrapped up for the day.

Yunho:

There wasn't much that you did that Yunho didn't think was cute. Messy hair in a bun, pizza hanging out of your mouth, or when you were feverish with the flu - he thought you were cute every second of every day. That included when you got trashed at the New Years Eve party the boys had at the club.

Currently it was well past one in the morning, the festivities were still very much alive and kicking as Yunho was escorting you home. Since you both had been drinking, the only safe option was to take a cab home. You were skipping along ahead of him, laughing when you stumbled on your own feet, with Yunho watching you fondly. A street away from your house, two guys dressed in all black emerged from the only convenience store still open across the street.

You both didn't notice the two men following you until you heard them speak to your boyfriend.

"Nice watch you got there," the shorter of the two commented while they both flanked Yunho.

He ignored them at first, just a quick side eye before his eyes were back on you as you stopped walking ahead to see who broke the silence.

The other guy chuckled at the lack of response. "You look like some kind of celebrity. Must have a lot of nice things, no?"

Obviously knowing where this was going, Yunho closed his eyes and took a deep breath before ignoring them once again. At this point, you were curious as to what was going on and too drunk not to say something.

"Yah!" You shouted, fingers pointed at them. "Back off, he's mine!"

Clearly, in your drunken state, you had mistaken them for flirting with Yunho.

Eyes wide, all three of the males looked at you in disbelief before the other two took a step in front of Yunho, effectively blocking your view. He weighed his options, not like there were many to begin with though. Give them what they want and hopefully they would leave you two alone was the best choice but he had a feeling they wouldn't back down so easily. You were in heels and tight jeans, not very good for trying to make a quick escape. On top of that, he had a few drinks himself so fighting two on one would not be in his favor.

"What do you want?" He asked as monotone as he could.

"For starters," the first one piped up, "Your watch."

"And your wallet."

"Don't forget the jacket."

Biting his lip to keep his irritation inside, Yunho was unfastening his Hublot diamond watch when he heard the sound of heels coming closer. The two obviously didn't care about you coming near but Yunho didn't want you in the middle if it got physical.

"Are you trying to rob us?" You nearly screamed, face twisted in disgust. "You have to be a piece of shit to rob someone so kind hearted as my man!"

"Shut up, bitch." The taller of the two said before turning to you.

Mouth agape, you quickly felt yourself sobering up. "That's no way to talk to a lady!" And as soon as you were close enough, you suddenly kicked one of your heels into his stomach, effectively dropping the robber into the ground.

The other turned to you, mostly stunned that his friend just got injured but he didn't have much time to react when you retracted your fist and slammed it into his nose. A loud cracking sound was heard followed by a painful scream.

Hands on your hips, you swayed slightly while frowning at the two on the ground. "Your mothers must be so ashamed of you. Babe, put on your watch. I'll call the cops."

Yunho was literally jaw dropped, eyes almost bulging out of his head while he watched you call the police. He didn't say much to the police when they came for their report before whisking the two assailants off. It was finally around three am when you were walking into your house. You had already told Yunho you would feel better if he stayed the night but he just nodded and threw his arm around you on the way home.

In the morning, when you woke with a raging headache, Yunho was there with water and some pills. "Hey, Laila Ali," he joked. "Take this. I made food."

Grabbing the pills, you swallowed them without fuss before downing the water. "Thanks, love."

"Since when did you know how to throw a right hook so flawlessly?"

You smiled, even though it hurt your head to do so. "Hey, someone's gotta protect you."

#ateez #ateez drabble #ateez scenario #ateez reaction #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #part 1/3

[meganshinsou-tm]

Sugarcoated. (m)

↳ chapter seventeen: the void

❧ genre: pro-hero hitoshi, adoptive siblings, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: mentions of suicide/self harm, depression, anxiety, comfort

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

The loud and obnoxious sound of the alarm on your phone woke you from a deep slumber. You groaned and reached behind your head to the arm of the couch and grabbed the device, picking it up and touching the 'off' button. Your fingers went to clutch the phone but it slipped from your hold and landed straight on your forehead.

"Oh for the love of fucking christ why!"

Groaning and moaning in pain, you rolled over and fell straight off of the couch with a yelp. 

"I'm just going to lay here and die," you thought to yourself as your face stayed buried into the rug. 

The phone started to ring only a few seconds later, startling you from the serene quietness of the house. With a sigh you sat up on your elbows and grabbed the phone, seeing that it was Hitoshi calling, more than likely to make sure you were awake from your nap.

"Ayeeee," you answered with a tired and un-enthused tone.

"I swear you're something else woman, are you awake? Like awake awake?"

"Yeah I'm awake, trust me," you replied rubbing your forehead.

"Okay, just making sure sweetness. The kid has dance this afternoon right?"

You confirmed Hitoshi's question as you rose from the floor with a groan. The two of you continued to converse as you put on your hoodie and coat, shoes and grabbed your car keys. It had been exactly three weeks since you moved in with your now boyfriend to help him with the care of Eri. It was an exhausting and busy three weeks but so wonderful at the same time. You liked the hustle and bustle of bringing Eri to and from school and her different lessons. More than anything you loved being part of Hitoshi and Eri's life, sharing a home with them both and having your own life full of love and happiness, all because of them.

"How about I meet you two after her lesson and we'll go out for dinner since it's Friday?"

You quirked a brow and counted back your days, realizing that Hitoshi was right but also causing another important detail to pop into your brain as you saw a sparkly pink duffel bag by the front door.

"Uh – I think it'll be just me and you actually. Eri is supposed to go to some little slumber party tonight after dance. I just remembered!"

"That's fine then, you know what, since you'll be back at home before me I'll just pick up some take-out on my way home and we'll have a night in together. It's been a while since we've had one of those, kid free. Maybe even have a copious amount of sex squeezed in between some movies and video games?"

You laughed as you were already out the door and getting into your vehicle, knowing good and well that your lover was at his work desk surrounded by his colleagues and not giving a single fuck about if they could overhear him or not.

"Mmm, food, movies, video games and sex. Should I wear my 'holey' pants, I just know how turned on you get when I strut around in them!"

A sharp inhale was heard on the other end of the call, making you laugh again from imagining Hitoshi grinning through his gritted teeth as he thought of your pair of pajama pants with pink pineapples all over them and a good number of frayed holes. You never cared to throw them away because they were the most comfortable pair of pj's you owned.

"Oh now you're talking, maybe even wear a matching trash bag top. Mmm, that'd be so fucking hot!"

More laughter erupted from your mouth, making Hitoshi laugh as well. You sank back into the seat of the vehicle after starting the engine and turning the heater on full blast. "I love you weirdo."

"I love you more sweetheart. Be careful on the road please, and text me when you get there."

"You got it captain!"

After picking up Eri from school, the two of you had a small amount of time to drive-thru and grab a quick snack. Eri sat in her booster seat, eating her fries and drinking her juice happily as you did the same. You turned down the music on the radio and glanced at the little girl in your rear-view mirror.

"So cutie, what do you want to be for Halloween? We're gonna have to start looking for a costume because you got that party coming up, plus we're all going to the festival at UA."

As Eri chewed on a mouthful of salty fries she thought with a finger to her cheek. After a few seconds, her ruby eyes lit up and she looked at you.

"I want to be Alice!"

"Ooh, that sounds easy enough! You'd make a very cute and fitting Alice! You know I think we should make Toshi be the Cheshire Cat!"

"Yeah! He's purple already!" Eri pointed out.

You laughed and agreed with her. You couldn't wait to tell Hitoshi the decision you and his sister made in regards to his Halloween outfit. Eri followed with asking what you would be, which actually stumped you. You weren't much of a fan of the classic tale but you had a general knowledge of it. The Mad Hater or Queen of Hearts just didn't really float your boat. 

"Hmm, who else is there?" 

A light flickered in your head as you thought about making you and Hitoshi match at least in the animal department.

"What about the White Rabbit?"

"Yeah! Then we would all match!"

The rest of the drive you and Eri planned out the pieces of your costumes. Once at dance you walked in with her, hand in hand and helped to get her dressed in her dance outfit and put her long silver locks up into a nice and neat bun. You stowed her stuff away and walked to the dance room, crouching to her level before she went inside.

"Alright, you're going home with Mai and her mommy today for her slumber party. All your things are in your bag, and if you need absolutely anything you let her mom know and she will call me or Toshi."

"Okay Unnie, you and Sou-Sou will come get me tomorrow?"

"Absolutely, whenever you're ready to come home, we'll be on our way!"

Eri smiled and nodded before hugging your neck tightly. You placed a kiss to her head before standing and coaxed her into the dance room. She smiled and waved goodbye to you and ran to join her little group of friends. You waved back and proceeded to give the other girls mother yours and Hitoshi's numbers and made your way back home, more than ready to have a lazy night with your equally exhausted boyfriend.

Hitoshi struggled to open the door of his home, after many failed attempts of calling your cell or kicking at the barrier since his hands were full, he had to manage by himself knowing that you wouldn't be coming to help him. Once inside he heard it was quiet for the most part, which had him worried until he walked more into the kitchen and could hear a vacuum cleaner running down the hall. His heart was put at ease, realizing that's why you didn't answer him.

The hero placed all the bags of food on the counter, he went all out and got everything the both of you enjoy from your favorite take-out place. You had been working so hard the past few weeks caring for Eri, cleaning the house and cooking in your free time, even if it was already spotless. 

Of course Hitoshi wasn't the type to just sit back and let you do these things, either you'd have them all done before he could get home or when he'd offer his help you'd decline it and suggest he spend time with Eri helping with her homework or just playing games with her. Tonight he wanted to make sure you were satisfied in more ways than one, a belly full of good food, a nice bath to relax your tired body, nice soft and comfy clothes and a whole bunch of doing nothing.

After Hitoshi's arms were empty he slid his shoes off and made his way towards the whirring sound of the cleaning appliance. It led him to Eri's bedroom and he poked his head around the corner of her door frame. The sight his eyes fell upon was very welcomed, making him chuckle and smile. 

Your ear buds were snug in your ears, your phone on the toddlers dresser. As you vacuumed you danced along with the music flowing into your canals, singing to it as well. Your hips swayed in a hypnotic way and you had great footwork as you stepped along with the beat. Your entire body was moving - shoulders, waist, head. (H/c) locks swayed along and your free hand was raised up dancing along too.

"Y se emociona, ya no razona. Y me empieza a cantar, me canta así, así. Bidi bidi bom bom. Bidi bidi bom bom."

Hitoshi's eyes lit up as he heard your voice speaking the Spanish language so flawlessly. He knew you liked many different types of music and knew countless songs word by word, the language barrier being no problem. 

This wasn't the first time the male had caught you like this either, there were multiple times he'd walk in on you dancing and singing in the shower, while baking or cleaning. Each time he'd scare the piss out of you by not making his presence known and you'd stop immediately. It wasn't like you couldn't dance or sing, because you could and so well. The sheer embarrassment of it all though is what would make you end the show. 

This time though, he didn't want that to happen. With the help of his own sounds being muted by your ear buds and vacuum, he was able to sneak inside the room and place himself a close distance behind you. His violet eyes watched your foot work and learned it quickly, they'd also gaze to your ass as you'd roll your hips and stick the plump flesh out.

He panted, seeing you in black leggings and a plain long-sleeve shirt. You didn't have to wear fancy or revealing getup's to get his blood pumping and his tongue hanging from his mouth. 

Hitoshi held his hands up and lined them with your hips as he got ready to step in with you. You sang the song so well and perfectly it's like he could hear the beat of it and easily became in-tune with your movements. Hitoshi took a deep breath and waited for just the right moment and took it. 

One arm wrapped around the front of your waist, pulling your gyrating hips into his, the other grabbed hold of your hand that swayed up in the air. Chuckling, his lips brushed against the skin of your neck, making a shocked gasp escape from your mouth. You hadn't fully registered what was happening as Hitoshi danced with you, moving his hips along with yours and pressing his hard chest to your back.

You stopped vacuuming, letting go of the machine and Hitoshi took the chance to twirl you around and face him. He took a bud from your ear and placed it in his so he could hear the music you listened to. It was lively and fun, his hands took hold of yours, fingers intertwining and holding them in the air as he danced along with you quite well.

"Toshi-ah! What the – you never told me you could even remotely dance!"

Hitoshi twirled you, making you giggle and tugged you towards him and kissed your cheek, "You never asked."

"That's my line you turd!"

Smiling, Hitoshi pulled you into his chest and dipped you, timing it perfectly with the end of the song. He was so pleased with himself and placed sweet kisses up your neck to your cheek before standing you straight up again. His arms wrapped around you and hugged you close, you hummed and hugged back burying your face into him. Hitoshi pulled away and removed the bud from yours and his ear, grabbed your phone and shut off your music.

"Come on sweetness, let's get that thing put back up and get our night started!"

After eating all the food you could until you were miserable, Hitoshi ran a bath and you both bathed and relaxed until you were prunes. Now you laid on the couch together watching a movie. Hitoshi played with your (h/c) hair as you laid on his chest until you lost interest in the film and moved to sit up and straddle his lap. He smiled and touched your warm cheek, drinking in the site of you wearing one of his shirts and looking adorable.

"I didn't ask yet, but how was your last full week at the agency?"

Hitoshi explained his week and you listened closely, your hands playing with his.

The time had come finally for him to start his teaching job at UA that following Monday, you were excited and nervous for him, he was more excited than anything. All week after he'd get off work, he'd stop by the school to set up his classroom and get everything in place and ready. 

You and Eri stopped by one day to bring him dinner and you weren't exactly surprised to see just how much he put into the room. It looked chaotic with all the sketches, posters and prints that hung from the walls but it was somehow like an organized chaotic. Everything flowed together well, it was cozy and very inviting. As he stated before, there was a big print of your picture from Disneyland on one of the walls, along with an equally sized picture of Eri. Hitoshi said he was going to make the classroom his own and make it his own he did.

"You excited for your first day of teaching?" You asked, moving your hands up Hitoshi's chest to wrap around his neck and play with his hair.

"Definitely, it'll be a nice change and new journey. I can't wait to meet my students and see how creative they are."

You smiled at your lover's excitement and leaned forward to kiss his lips softly. Hitoshi hummed as his hands rested on and squeezed your hips. He grinned after you broke away, asking what the kiss was for.

"Just because. I'm really proud of you Hitoshi, you set your sights on something and you go after it."

"Well thank you sweetheart. I'm so lucky to have you," he replied and pulled your lips to his again, giving you a kiss to express his gratitude.

You smiled and leaned down, hugging his chest and pressing your cheek to it. Hitoshi wrapped his own arms around you and kissed the top of your head.

"It's definitely the other way around Toshi."

Shinsou smirked as he rubbed your back and you went back to watching the movie on the tv but suddenly it's like your words brought a past memory up, from that night in the bathtub a few weeks ago. 

"I don't know how much longer I would've lasted in this world." 

Somehow he had forgotten to ask you about that night, about your life and emotional health before moving in with him. Looking down at you, Hitoshi figured now was a good enough time to ask you, you were awake and aware and already in a somewhat mushy and open mood. You never had been the type to really hide anything from him, even before your relationship became official. Hitoshi picked up on clues to your moods and he'd ask you about them, sometimes you'd be hesitant or annoyed with his line of questioning but you always answered him. In the end you'd feel better having him to vent to.

"Hey baby," Hitoshi started off as his hand on your back squeezed, "I've been wanting to talk to you about something."

You remained in your place, your hand holding onto Hitoshi's bicep and your thumb brushing his skin under the sleeve of his shirt. "What is it Toshi?"

"Do you remember a few weeks ago, when you and Eri made that cake, me and you took a bath that night and you were dozing off? You said something to me, something about how if I hadn't come along with my job offer then you didn't know 'how much longer you would've lasted in this world'. Does any of that ring a bell?"

Your brows knitted, trying to recall that nights events. The memories were blurry, you were in a dazed state after all. You remembered Hitoshi bathing you, holding you close and letting you melt into him. When you're extremely tired and trying to fight it off, you tend to blabber a lot about your hearts innermost feelings. More than likely that was the case that night, no denying it.

"I don't remember it exactly, but it sounds like something I would've said."

"What exactly did you mean by that? You weren't planning on hurting yourself ... were you?"

There was a pause before you replied, letting out a long and ragged breath as you thought how to form the words that wanted to fall from your lips. 

You had thoughts before, of how much easier life would be if you didn't have a life at all. You wouldn't have to worry about meeting due dates for bills, wouldn't have to be bothered with your families problems and above all, wouldn't have to see that monster you worked for ever again. Each day going back and forth to that café seemed to just break a piece of your soul off more and more. The looks, whistles and words that you'd hear. 

Your only saving grace being Hitoshi when he'd stop by and grace you with his company. For those few moments or hours, you'd feel that everything was good in the world, that maybe you could make it one more day if it meant seeing that tuft of purple hair and those glistening amethyst eyes one more time.

"Uh – not exactly, I guess? I don't know. I think back then I honestly had just given up on caring about my life Hitoshi. I was in the mindset that if something 'bad' did happen to me then I'd be okay with it. Truthfully, I'm too much of a little bitch to ever off myself, I wanted it to be done for me. I'd go as far as seeking out dangerous situations sometimes."

Hitoshi clenched his jaw, letting your words hit him hard, his hold on you grew tighter. You kissed the inside of his elbow that your face rested in and continued.

"I – I'd purposefully walk through the rough and bad areas of the city on my way home some nights. Hoping someone would think I was good enough to mess with and even hurt. Other times I wouldn't pay attention to my surroundings as I walked crosswalks during heavy traffic. I feel disgusted with myself that I even thought of giving into that man I worked for, then trying to back out of it, hoping he'd get mad enough to lose his control and just ... end me. I almost got what I wished for huh? Except that night, my entire view had changed, I didn't want that situation anymore but still it ended up happening, like some sick joke."

Hitoshi could feel his chest tightening, his heart aching and squeezing. The thought of seeing a story on the news about a girl with your description found behind a dumpster in the slums of Japan had his stomach in knots and made him nauseous. The fact that you sought that out, made it even worse. 

If you truly had gotten everything you wished for back then, Hitoshi would've been guilt ridden for sure. It was his fucking job to read people, how did he not see that dead and hopeless look in your eyes? 

Was it because when he was around, even if you acted annoyed, that you were at your happiest? Just the act of him stopping by and requesting you, was that what kept you going? What about your own family, there's no way they didn't play a part in your life and no way they wouldn't have helped you, had you asked for it.

"(Y/N), what about your family?"

Your shoulders shrugged and you hummed. 

"Well, I distanced myself from them. My parents especially, I just wanted to escape all the – the idiocy. My brother and his wife, their kids, they were another reason I kept going. My mother and father though, nothing happy every comes out of those relationships. Just being let down time and time again, picked over for something better."

You had no family really, except for your sibling and his small family. Those two kids of theirs were your entire world. Then Hitoshi and Eri came along and your world grew. You and brother would go a few weeks without talking to each other, it was normal. They would get busy with the kids and work, and you would be busy with whatever was going on in your life. Always though, you'd check up on each other after too long and pick up from where you left off.

Hitoshi was silent as you explained your sad and chaotic life to him, taking it all in. He never knew any of this went on, had he known, he would've done more, made his move earlier! You finally pulled yourself from his chest, going back to straddling his hips and looking at him. The man looked to be on the verge of tears. 

You pouted and cupped Hitoshi's face, leaning forward and resting your forehead to his.

"I'm sorry Hitoshi. I'm sorry I didn't value you my life like I should've. Sorry for not being strong enough and being a coward, for being stupid and endangering myself. I just, I had enough of it all, I was tired," a shaky breath left your lips, " - so tired. I wasn't going anywhere fast enough for my liking, I had these dreams that seemed so unrealistic and I got discouraged. You saved me though and each day I'm so thankful you walked into that café almost every goddamn day and showed me that smile and kindness. It got to where I lived for it, now wholeheartedly I live all because of you."

Tears flowed from your eyes and from Hitoshi's as well. When he felt a tear drop onto his shirt the hero captured you in his arms holding you as close as humanly possible. Your cries rippled through him as he held your head to him and pet your hair. You apologized over and over, for the smallest and most unnecessary reasons. Hitoshi quietly cried with you, comforting and shushing your un-needed words.

"You have nothing to be sorry for towards me (Y/N). I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner or did something about it. The thought of you suffering alone, not being this person I've been so blessed to see these past few weeks, it fucking kills me. As long as there's a breath in me, I promise to do everything in my power to make sure you're happy. I'll support and back all your dreams like you do for me, I'll always be here for you to vent to and let your frustrations out on, I'll be absolutely any and everything you could ever need. You have to promise me though that if you ever feel yourself slipping, even just the smallest bit, back into that void, you'll let me know."

You nodded, sniffling and wiping your nose and eyes with the backs of your hands and arms. "I promise Hitoshi. Thank you so much, for everything. I love you so much."

Hitoshi closed his eyes and squeezed you tight, placing a kiss to your temple and wiped your eyes. "I love you so much more."

The next few minutes were spent with Hitoshi holding you close, both of you calming down and getting back to normal. Your boyfriend instructed you wrapped around and hold him tight as he got up from the couch, carrying you to the kitchen and sitting you on the counter. He grabbed a clean rag and wet it with warm water, wrung it out then placed himself between your knees. As you sniffled, Hitoshi used the rag to wipe and clean your eyes and face. The warmth of the cloth made you relax and you gave the man an appreciative smile.

"Sorry I kind of ruined the whole vibe tonight Toshi."

"Baby, you didn't ruin anything. As painful as it was, I'm glad we had this talk. How about we play a friendly game of Mario Kart to get the mood back up?"

You chuckled as Hitoshi took your face in his hands, pulling you to look up at him towering over you and placing a kiss to your lips. Your hands hung from his as you kissed back eagerly. His warm and soft lips were helping to bring the warmth back to yours. The taste of spicy curry was still on his tongue that was welcomed into your mouth and lapped at your own muscle, you enjoyed it honestly. Tongues retreated back to their own caves and your lips enveloped each other one last and long time before breaking away.

"You're on Hitoshi, get ready to get your ass kicked!"

A cocky grinned grew on Hitoshi's face and he quickly tossed you over his shoulder, placing a firm smack to your ass as he carried you back into the living room. It stung more than usual being you weren't wearing pants to protect your skin. You playfully bit at the back of his shoulder, making him only bite your thigh in retaliation.

"Ow you fucker! I'd be nice if I were you, I do get to put together your Halloween costume in fact, and I could be evil about it!"

"What costume? I haven't told you what I wanted to be yet."

You smiled as Hitoshi flung you onto the massive couch from over his shoulder. His arms trapped your head and he looked down on you and leaned on the couch.

"You don't get a say in the matter, Eri chose for you and it's great! You see, you'll be going as the Cheshire Cat, ears and all! For once I'll be the one drooling over you in a kitty cat getup!"

Hitoshi narrowed his eyes at you and grit his teeth. Your finger reached up and glided under his chin then to bop the tip of his nose as you giggled.

"Cat got your tongue Toshi?"

"Bite me," he snapped back.

Propping up on your elbow, your hand cupped his neck and tugged him down roughly and closer to you, the tip of your tongue licked up the side of his throat and stopped at his jaw where you nipped lightly. "Don't mind if I do!"

#sugarcoated #hitoshi shinsou #hitoshi shinsou x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha fanfic #mha fanfic #fluff #anime #angst

[rkpjy]

⭐️MGA 5 EPISODE 3 ↪ perfoming romanticism by leo with @rkjeonghxn outfit inspiration: x  x line distribution & times: x 

it’s always easier to move on to the next round when there are a lot of contestant. the fewer they become and the harder the choices will be for the five ceos. there’s undoubtedly a lot of raw talent in this room, some maybe more polished than others, some mostly relying on their popularity and star factor. the latter can’t be downplayed of course, as there’s no reason to have skill in the first place if people aren’t interested in you or want to follow you. still, it’s always a little annoying to see such people get by with minimal talent.

soon after jinyoung returned to his seat following his interview, the entire set falls silent. everyone’s eyes are glued to the judging panel, waiting for the dreaded moment when they will announce the results. his newly found acquaintance changbin is nominated as the top rapper, which comes to no surprise to jinyoung, but it’s choi minho who takes the win. unlike a lot of people here, jinyoung doesn’t feel any type of way for that guy. despite his best friend being in convex, he knows very little about the group and what kind of drama happened that led to the rapper’s departure. he’s not a hater nor is he a fan, and although he didn’t dislike his performance, he wouldn’t have gave him the win either.

he keeps a straight face throughout the eliminations, just quietly wishing not to be on that list when the singer’s turn comes. the top 3 dancers are called to the stage, and he recognizes hwang yeji from that one day at the hospital. they haven’t spoken since and he wishes her well. she’s a pretty good dancer despite her young age, but so is lee chaeryeong. as for suwoong, well, it’s not a question of talent really, but more his personality that jinyoung can’t quite figure out. he’s satisfied with yeji’s win, just as he is satisfied with heejin’s win later on. there was a slight disappointment about not making the top 3 but then again, he still believes he performed the best he could. for someone as obsessed with perfect as he is, it’s hard to accept average results, but he’s a good sport. heejin, as he’s noted multiple times already, is a very good singer. he wonders if she can dance well too, because if she does then she’s almost guaranteed to go to the end. her looks are very idol-like, not to mention she’s young.

joohyun was probably the most surprising elimination for jinyoung. he knew she made a mistake, they all did, and it’s unexpectedly fair that they wouldn’t favor her due to her past participations and already established level of popularity. she’s one of the known contestants here that everyone talks about to the point where jinyoung also knows about it, and even if don’t want to show bias, maybe he thought they would show more leniency towards someone they know, and he now stands corrected. there is no second chance in this competition, and no room for weakness.

he applauds heejin’s win with a proud smile, and it’s probably the first time anyone will have caught him looking so pleased since the very first audition. he’s also happy for sihyeon who’s finally been recognized for her talent. it’s kind of funny how some of those who changed categories managed to survive unlike those who truly wanted to show their best skill. in hindsight, it was pretty clever of them to do so and jinyoung wonders if this was calculated on their part. he doubts so for daniel, who probably just innocently wanted to show another side of himself. but that’s if he’s still the same person he knew all those years ago in busan. maybe he’s changed, like jinyoung did.

he doesn’t care much for the following eliminations, as nobody he knows has been sent home. instead, he pays close attention to what is said next. they are to be paired off in duos and present a neat performance showing not only talent but also teamwork. and it’s probably what he dreads most as of now. it’s not as easy for him to get along with people as much as he’d like, and depending on who he ends up with, this assignment might be his first real challenge. he doesn’t necessarily want to be with a friend, however, because it doesn’t always mean it will lead to a good performance. he ends up with yoon jeonghan.

they’re not friends per say, but they do know of each other and have worked together in the past on musical productions. jinyoung is very enthusiastic at the idea of performing with someone who has talents and tastes similar to his, but it can also be an obstacle in the end. they can’t put up something too expected. it’ll be boring to watch for everyone.

that’s the subject they talk about when they first meet up for practice. “since they know we’re both passionate about musicals, i don’t think we should choose that type of song. what do you think?” he asks jeonghan who promptly agrees. they’re both aware they need to showcase something different, more creative and challenging. something that will throw the judges off, hopefully in a good way. they spend a while just searching online, or scrolling down their playlists in order to find the perfect fit. and after going through several choices, they finally decide on romanticism by leo. the key is to make all the right changes to the choreography and harmonies so it looks and sounds as if it was meant for two people instead of just one. they need to be in complete unison, and not just seem like two individuals performing the same song at the same time.

their first practice consists of making these arrangements and going through them a couple times to see if they fit well, and deciding on the parts they’ll each sing. they both agree to practice on their own whenever they have free time, then meet together every day for several hours so they can put it all together. it just won’t work if they both work separately.

while jinyoung criticizes a lot, he’s also very open to criticism himself. as long as it’s nothing insulting, he believes this is the only way one will grow, and not with fake praises. if he sucked, he wants to know. if he does one movement wrong, he wants to know so he can fix it. if jeonghan feels it would be better if they switched one part because it sounds off, he’ll be open to the idea. what he finds exhausting is those who are too scared to make any kind of negative comment, or who take everything too personal. they’re impossible to work it, not to mention annoying. it’s all meant to enhance the performance. the judges won’t chose the best out of the two of them. so either they win together, or fail together. it doesn’t matter if one sings five seconds more, as long as it makes the whole thing better.

it’s surprisingly easy to work with jeonghan, and jinyoung comes home at night almost with a spring in his step, telling mina about how practice is going with a lot more details than usual. he’s optimistic, hopeful. if it were to suddenly come crashing down....

the two men sit next to each other, and jinyoung can’t help but notice there’s so few of them compared to the first episode. sixty chairs have disappeared since then. he remains exactly like the second episode, face stoic as he watched the first few duos perform on stage. the only moments he stops being a statue is in-between performances, as he leans over to jeonghan and whispers things inaudible to cameras, about what he liked and didn’t like.

yugyeom goes before with him, with a contestant called do kyungsoo, and he honestly has no idea what to expect when they first start. it seems like they managed to use each other’s strength and make up for the other’s weakness quite well, and jinyoung hopes it’s enough for them to make it through. some of the duos make unexpected yet good pairs, and some match so well it’s almost boring. he wonders if this will be the case for jeonghan and him, although they didn’t go for a musical number. are their skills too similar? but it’s not like they can suddenly pretend one of them can rap either, so there’s nothing they can do about it if they were put together.

they go near the end, with only three duos left after them. they both bring a chair to the center of the stage and sit on them after introducing themselves. the original artist has a very specific way of dancing, that makes every movement look smooth but not sloppy, and sensual but not sexual. there’s a fine line they can’t cross, and jinyoung does feel like they got in down after hours and hours of practice. jeonghan starts off the song with his first lines.

In my mind you’re my lord, the reality is not close enough You’re my one You’re my one

jinyoung parts his legs in a swift motion as the dance obliges, and because there are no backdancers, instead of gesturing to his empty side, he briefly cups jeonghan’s chin instead, making it one of a several modifications to the original choreography. it’s not hard to imagine he’s singing to his girlfriend right now, and wishing she was the one dancing with him. jeonghan and him aren’t exactly flirting together, their actions more inclined to the audience, but there still needs to be a connection between them, a sensuality that can be felt all the way to the very back of the studio. I see through your body, The sign that gets my sensitivity wet Your eyes are chasing after my movement As if saying come after you

in the middle of this verse they both stand up, leaving their chairs behind for the time being. the way they arranged this part suits the lyrics well. it’s as if they’re also chasing each other, delivering their lines back and forth like one echoes the other, and as jeonghan finishes it, jinyoung prepares for the chorus. two minutes isn’t long at all, and after this they’re jumping straight to the bridge so the transition isn’t too cut and dry. Dive-in for me at this moment, make me shiver one time Romanticism in our world together now Let’s feel it romantically, together now

the dance gets more intense and demanding, but they’ve arranged for them to sing half of it together, harmonizing each other. jinyoung’s gaze is piercing, and he has fun flirting with the crowd. there are a lot of parts in this song where they rub their chest, their face or roll their hips, and there’s a risk to make it look cheap and very cringe-worthy if they’re not careful, so they made sure to tell the other whenever it was too much, or not enough. they want to mesmerize the audience, not turn it off.  Piece of you for just one moment Feel me from now on

Let’s feel it sensually, together now Girl you know I’m watching you together now

they had to cut the last chorus in half to fit in the time requirement, but in the end it doesn’t really matter since they jump next into the other half which is kind of a nice follow-up and uses the same lyrics. they sing most of it together, dancing in sync.

together now.

#rkmga5 #rkmga5duos #.solo #rkjeonghxn #rkkmn #rkkyg #rksihyeon #rkheejin #the times in the doc match with the mv i linked there #not the live one #but we wanted to show the choreo #hair is the same but different outfit #rkxbin #rkmason #rksuwoong #rkchaeryeong #rkyeji #joohyunrk #rkkyungsoo

[bangtanfanfiction]

Secret relationship || 02

PREVIOUS PART

♢ Pairing: Jungkook x Celeb!Reader

♢ Word count: 4.7 k

♢ Genre: Fluff, angst 

   ⌲ Description: Not only is Y/N a famous singer in America, up in the ranks with people like Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande. But she’s also dating a k-pop idol…in secret.

Y/N let out a sigh from where she was lounging on the couch in her apartment. The remote in her hand was pointed at the plasma tv, as she flicked through the channels without any thought. She finally decided to stop on a rerun from a Game of Thrones episode that aired last year, and absently paid attention to the plot. Despite knowing everything that would happen already.

It’s been three days since the Billboard music awards, and two days since her interaction with BTS had blown up on social media. The issue was still a big thing going on at the very moment, but luckily it didn’t get any more extreme than that. So for now, there was still no need to drag in both of their companies to calm the storm. From what she had seen, the fans were continuing to try and come up with different theories on how they had met before and the possibility of it. There were arguments right and left from what she had read, everyone convinced that they were right. It was a bit entertaining to watch at first, to see how creative fans could become. Until they started to blow up her own accounts that is. Yes, Y/N had millions of followers before all of this, but they were all her own fans that appreciated who she was as an artist and person. Now BTS fans were on every single instagram and twitter post, commenting about Jungkook, the boys and how they could have met. A majority also writing things that were both hurtful and inappropriate. But hate comments never bothered her before, so seeing them coming from kpop fans didn’t change anything. She mostly just ignored them, and sometimes even liked a few that were so ridiculous she even snorted. But it was mostly to antagonize the haters so they knew she had read it, and couldn’t give two shits about their opinion.

But it wasn’t only the fans that were discussing about this particular topic. Y/N had noticed how korean websites like Allkpop and Soompi kept bringing up her and Jungkook. But she wasn’t so worried about them, seeing how Amber had warned her that those sites were full of bullshit anyways and nothing to trust. The artist found that out by reading one of their articles that spoke of a “close friend” of her that had somewhat confirmed that they had met for the first time six months ago. At that she couldn’t help but laugh out loud, seeing how Amber was the only one there when she had met Jungkook after all, and it wasn’t even close to six months. She was intrigued to see who this “close friend” was, and was convinced that it was only some attention seeking person that wanted their five minute of fame by being mentioned somewhere. Or maybe just the news site trying to get more views by coming up with fake news.

With a tired sigh she took her attention away from the tv show, seeing how it wasn’t able to distract her thoughts to something else. Y/N knew that Jungkook was probably in Sydney at the moment and preparing for their concert, or currently having it. She never really paid attention to the time difference anyway. She was back home in L.A relaxing in what seemed like forever. After her new album had dropped there were continuous days of interviews and performances. Not that she minded, it was her job after all and she loved it. But having a relaxing day at home was always the best. As Y/N absently paid attention to the show, her phone began to ring as she stretched her body out to reach it far on the table in front of her.

“Elizabeth,” she greeted her manager.

“Y/N!” the older woman replied. “I have very good news!”

“How good?” The girl questioned curiously.

“So good that it will bring you closer to your loving boyfriend,” her tone was smug on the other end of the line, and Y/N straightened up at her words.

“What does Jungkook have to do with this?” she asked confused.

“Everything darling. I’ve managed to make a deal with their label, and the two of you are going to have a collab!”

Y/N knew that this was the moment for her to be ecstatic and jump around in joy, but she couldn’t help but deflate a bit at the news. Considering the circumstances she just didn’t find the will to be happy about it.

“Not to sound negative, but have you not been on social media the last three days?” she asked her manager in disbelief.

“Of course I have, but that is nothing to worry about. You get to collab with one of the biggest names in k-pop at the moment, that will make great PR!”

Y/N closed her eyes and let out a small sigh, “Let me guess, I don’t have a say in this?”

“Not really no,” the woman admitted. “But you better get packing, we’re leaving for Seoul tonight, bybye!”

“Wait what, toni- hello?” The young star couldn’t help but gape down on her phone in shock.

Even though this was such a typical move of her manager to do, she would always be surprised when it happened. Elizabeth liked to drop an unexpected bomb on her from time to time. And that included spontaneous flights to another country across the world on the very same day they would be traveling. Seeing how she didn’t have a choice or say in it, she dragged herself up from the couch with an annoyed groan and into her room. Pulling out a large suitcase Y/N began looking through her closet. She didn’t even know how long they were staying, and just took things which she deemed necessary for traveling. Like a couple of outfits, underwear, electronics and toiletries. After about an hour of packing, the suitcase was full enough to last two weeks the most. Glancing at the time, she still had a couple of hours left and got changed into a pair of black leggings and one of Jungkook’s hoodies she had managed to steal from him. It was grey and reached to her thighs. It looked really big on her smaller form, but it was probably the most comfortable thing she had at the moment. Going into the kitchen, she took out a box of ramen and began to prepare the easy dinner for today. It didn’t take her long before she was seated by the kitchen counter, and practically slurping down the food as she sent a message to her boyfriend.

Feeling satisfied that Jungkook was not feeling guilty, she suddenly heard her front door open and Elizabeth came waltzing in with her usual bright grin, but frowned the moment she saw the half empty ramen box in front of the young star, who smiled sheepishly.

“You really need to learn the meaning of ‘healthy’,” she stated.

“I was hungry and there was no time to make dinner, let me live,” the last sentence was grumbled out as she emptied the rest of the box and disposed of the garbage and chopsticks.

Elizabeth only sighed in reply. “Have you packed yet, we don’t have much time.”

“It’s in my room,” Y/N nodded her head in the direction as her manager walked in without a word and came back out dragging her suitcase with her.

“Let’s go.”

With those words Y/N made sure to turn off all the lights and close all the windows and doors before slipping on her pair of worn out sneakers and following her manager, after making sure the door was locked. Throwing the hood over her head, she muffled a yawn as she got inside the car and did not look forward to the long road ahead.

Her phone screen showed that the clock was five in the morning when they landed in Seoul, and Y/N was shook awake from her sleep and she resisted the urge to whine. Despite having the luxury of being seated in first class, she never felt comfortable sleeping completely on a plane. She was always half awake and usually ended up having the worst jetlag to deal with later. Sleepily following her manager and two bodyguards they breezed through the check in and picked up all their luggages, as one of the guards had gone off to pick up their car. The airport was still buzzing with life despite the time, as Y/N pulled the hood down lower and put on a pair of sunglasses to avoid being seen. As they got outside she didn’t waste any time and quickly got into the van, hoping that no one had seen her.

“Where are we going Liz?”

Her manager that was seated upfront with the bodyguard was scrolling through her phone, dealing with a few important details before replying. “We’re going to the Big Hit building first to have a meeting about the collaboration, then we’ll leave straight to the hotel.”

Settling back in the car seat, Y/N put on the seat belt before taking out her phone and went on social media to try and past the time, but even for a celebrity like her there wasn’t much happening of her interests. The topic of her and Jungkook was already getting old, and she felt like she had read everything that needed to be known. Turning on some music, she blocked out the outside world with her earplugs as she leaned back and closed her eyes, investing herself in the music. Ed Sheeran’s Thinking out loud was the song playing while she gently swayed to the music. The lyrics were so sweet and romantic that she couldn’t help but think about Jungkook. It was moments like these she felt incredibly lucky to have someone like him in her life. Even though they practically lived on each side of the globe he never failed to make sure he would always be there for her. Y/N was also a 100% supportive each time their group had a comeback and new song, buying it on Itunes and getting the physical copies. Whenever they had a concert near her, she would make the time to go and support all seven of them. It wasn’t any different for her case. It wasn’t often she had concerts in Asia, but if her tours took her there, Seoul would always be number one on the list. Jungkook would disguise himself to go and support his girlfriend, either with some of his members or sometimes even alone. He didn’t really mind who he went with, as long as he was there in person. Y/N would always think about his sweet smile and laugh whenever she was having a bad, or missed him too much. How his strong arms would wrap around her when they were cuddling. How beautiful his voice sounded when he softly sang to her underneath the stars. How loving his kisses would be and how he would prolong them as much as he could to just preserve the moment. Despite the fact that their meeting were extremely limited, the both of them would always treasure the moments they actually got together. Even if it only is for a day, like at the Billboards or even a few minutes.

From what she could remember they’ve only had one serious fight. It was nearing their six month anniversary together, and she had flown to Seoul for a small visit. Jungkook was going through a particularly hard time and was often on edge and easy to anger. On that very day he just decided to take it out on her, and it was almost the reason that they had broken up. He was feeling extremely guilty after that and promised to never be an asshole ever again.

Y/N was relaxing on the couch of the boys’ dorm while she waited for Jungkook to return from his schedule. They were practicing today and he told her that he would be able to leave a bit earlier to spend some time together before the rest of the boys would be coming home. Even if he did have his own room, neither of them felt comfortable to do something when the others were home. She glanced at the time and saw that it was fifteen minutes past nine in the evening, as she let out a yawn when she heard the code of the dorm being entered and the door slammed open and shut again. Frowning, she slowly stood up as Jungkook came walking in, his mouth in a tight line.

“Hey, you’re back,” she smiled and approached him, but it quickly vanished as she saw he didn’t return it and simply went into the kitchen to roughly grab a water bottle and gulping it down.

“I’ve chosen a movie for us to watch-”

“I’m not in the mood,” Jungkook had grumbled out as he brushed past her surprised form and straight into his room.

Feeling confused and slightly hurt by his rejection, Y/N followed him and stopped by the door only to see him grabbing a couple of clothes for a shower, but he was doing everything a bit more aggressively than necessary and she knew that something wasn’t right. She saw the way his muscles were tensed underneath his damp t-shirt after the practice. Not only that, she had never seen him act this way before, so that was a dead giveaway.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Y/N asked concerned and took a step inside, only to halt as he let out a breath.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he replied in a hard voice.

“You sure about that?” the young star questioned again.

“Yes, i’m pretty sure I know what I feel.”

“You don’t actually think i’m going to believe you with the way you’re behaving,” she raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

“I’m not doing anything,” Jungkook defended himself with a mock raise of his hands, as the irritation began to creep up on her.

“Hey, i’m trying to help you here, no need to act like an asshole,” Y/N couldn’t help but snap lightly.

“It’s none of your business, alright,” he said with a look as he brushed past her again, a bundle of clothes in his hands heading towards the bathroom.

“Stop right there!” her voice demanded him, as Jungkook did stop in his place with a exaggerated move before turning to face her with an annoyed expression.

“What?”

“Don’t use that tone on me,” she glared. “You’re going to walk in here and telling me that it’s none of my business when my boyfriend is obviously angry about something?”

“That’s because you wouldn’t understand,” he got out through gritted teeth, as if containing his anger.

“What wouldn’t I understand? That’s what I’m trying to ask you!” Y/N couldn’t help but exclaim. “I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”

“I don’t need your help, alright. Leave me alone,” Jungkook said with a glare and turned back around to walk away.

Y/N couldn’t help the hurt that she felt inside of her at the way he was treating her. This was so unlike her sweet boyfriend that she got to know and love. Swallowing away the lump in her throat she opened her mouth to reply. “If you walk away from me now, i’m walking out that door and never coming back,” her voice held the finality that even made him stop.

Jungkook turned to face her with disbelief, “Are you being serious right now?”

“Deadly.”

He let out a laugh that didn’t hold any humor, but more like how ridiculous it sounded. “Why are you the one getting angry at me?” he snapped.

“Because you’re being an asshole at the moment, I don’t have time for assholes,” Y/N said without blinking.

That was the moment the front door had opened as the boys filed into the dorm, speaking in pleasant voices and sharing laughs after their hard day of practice. The couple didn’t pay them any mind as both of them were too caught up in their anger.

“Asshole? Well you’re being an egotistical bitch right now,” Jungkook retorted and watched as her mouth fell open at his term.

Silence fell across the newcomers as their eyes widened in shock of what they just heard coming out of their maknae’s mouth. It happened before anyone could stop it, as the sound of a slap echoed through the living room and his head had snapped to the side by the surprise of it. The stinging feeling on his cheek only made it clearer and that he didn’t imagine it. She really did slap him. Gulping down the slight guilt he felt, he turned back around to face her with a small glare only to soften a bit to see her eyes filled with angry tears.

“I don’t know what the hell your problem is,” Y/N got out in a shaking voice, the anger and hurt was as clear as the full moon outside the window. “But i’m not staying around to find out.”

With those last words she roughly picked up her jacket and purse, not even bothering to put on her shoes as she carried them in her hands and pushed past the rest of the boys - who didn’t even try to stop her. They were all way too shocked of what they just saw happening. When the door slammed shut behind her, Yoongi was the one to speak up first. He had a disappointed expression on as he looked at their youngest member. Jungkook could almost feel his resolve break down at that and only looked down at the floor.

“I don’t what just happened here Jungkook, but that was uncalled for,” his voice scolded.

He couldn’t help but throw his clothes away in frustration as he let out a curse and the other didn’t even bother to lecture him about it.

“I fucked it up, didn’t I?” Jungkook sighed and looked at his hyungs who all gave him a look.

“What do you think?” Seokjin replied sarcastically.

“What the hell are you still doing here then?” Their leader spoke up with an eyebrow raised. Jungkook only looked at him confused.

“Go after her you fool!” Jimin was the one to explain, as the youngest mouth opened in realization and he quickly raced towards the door and stumbled out while pulling on his shoes.

It had only been a few minutes since Y/N managed to get away, and Jungkook didn’t even bother to use the elevator as he ran down all the steps and out the door. Frantically looking around, he could see her familiar form getting further away as he chased after her.

“Y/N!” He called out.

Y/N on the other hand had felt the anger leave the moment she got out of the dorm, and the only thing remaining was the hurt and confusion. She couldn’t understand why Jungkook would treat her that way when she had done nothing wrong. And that he had called her a bitch made it even worse. She really didn’t plan to slap him, it just happened in the heat of the moment and she couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty at that. But when she suddenly heard his voice call out her name, the young celebrity turned around in disbelief to see him running towards her and stopping in front of her with heavy breaths.

“What do you want?” Y/N mumbled out as she looked anywhere but his face.

He had another thought as he suddenly grabbed her face with both of his hands gently, and she was surprised to see his eyes were slowly filling up with unshed tears.

“Babe, i’m so sorry!” He said desperately. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, it was unforgivable and i’m an idiot, I know that. Please forgive me?”

She felt the lump in her throat return, “It really hurt, Jungkook,” she whispered out. “What you said to me, and the way you behaved. I don’t even know what I did wrong.”

“I know, I know! I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I was having a hard time during dance practice and kept messing up. I was angry at myself on the way home and let it all out on you. You should hate me, I know that as well. But please forgive me, I love you too much,” Jungkook almost whimpered out as a few tears trailed down his cheeks as he continued to cradle her face in his hands.

Y/N’s heart hurt as she looked at how broken he was at the possibility of her leaving him, and she didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around his waist as he quickly returned the tight hug with his chin resting on top of her head.

“I forgive you,” she whispered.

“I’m so sorry. I promise to never do that again. I deserved that slap.”

Pulling away the slightest, she let out a small smile. “Yes you did. But I love you too.”

At those words he had bent down and pressed his lips against hers in a passionate kiss underneath the moonlight, that really showed how much he loved her. Both of them had returned to the dorm a while later, both wearing grins as the boys waited in anticipation and sighed out in relief at the sight. All eight of them had spent the rest of the evening watching a comedy movie together, and sharing takeout food as they kept each other company.

Y/N was shaken out of the memory as the car came to a halt and she looked outside to see that they had arrived at the new Big Hit building. Getting out of the car, the stuffed her hands in the pocket of the hoodie as she followed her manager in the building, who then asked for entrance at the reception. After their visit being confirmed they were escorted to the elevator that brought them up the level the company was located. Stepping outside they were then showed to the meeting room. Knocking gently, someone from the inside told us to come in as the door opened. It was an average sized room with white walls, and some pictures hanging in the background. There was a large table with chairs placed around it, and Y/N figured this was a regular meeting room. She then noticed that Jungkook was there as well, along with his manager and their PDnim. He stood up to greet her with a small hug, that she returned quickly before sitting down beside each other.

“Thank you for coming Y/N,” Bang Shi Hyuk smiled at her as she returned it nervously.

Elizabeth had a translator placed by her side, seeing how she was only one not speaking fluent korean.

“I’m sure you both already know why we’re here today,” the man addressed the two young adults as they exchanged looks.

“Is there a problem with what happened at the Billboard awards, PDnim?” Jungkook asked him.

The older man just smiled gently. “Oh no, don’t worry about that. We just like to take precautions in case it does get out of hand. We came up with the idea to have you two collaborate on a song, so the the fans can calm down. They of course don’t need to know how long this has been going on, we can just tell them a little white lie that this has been in the works before the award show. And that will explain why you were so familiar with all of them. It would also bring great PR exposure for both sides.”

“Are you sure this is going to work, sir?” Y/N asked when she felt Jungkook grab her hand underneath the table.

“Unless the two of you are comfortable with going public, I don’t see why not,” Bang Shi Hyuk replied.

Her eyes widened a bit at his words. “Would you be okay with that? Us going public I mean.”

This time he gave her a more serious look, “That is not my choice to make. The personal lives of my artists are up to them, but of course there are consequences to think about if you really are considering to go public.”

His words made sense as she thought about it. Personally, for her it wouldn’t make much of a difference, seeing how the culture she lived in, this was a normal occurrence. But she couldn’t just forget how this would be for Jungkook. It wasn’t just him she had to think about. But he was in a group with six other boys that this could affect. She didn’t want to be the reason of their career falling apart after so much work. As the meeting came to an end, their managers and PDmin were the once to leave first, leaving Jungkook and Y/N alone in the meeting room.

“How you feeling about this?” He asked her, his hand never leaving hers.

“It’s not that bad,” she smiled up at him. “At least we’ll have a reason to meet up more.”

“True,” he chuckled before sobering up. “What do you think about going public?”

She bit her lip at the question. “Of course it would be nice to be able and go around freely. But I just see too many bad things coming out of it, and you guys don’t deserve that treatment.”

He nodded in understanding at her words before another cute smile came upon his face and he moved closer to her. His cupped her cheek as he bent down to press his lips against hers in a short but sweet kiss.

“We’re together now, let’s do something.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, “Don’t you have any schedules?”

“Not for the rest of the day,” he shrugged.

“It’s barely 7 AM, and I’m kind of jetlagged,” she pouted.

“We can relax at my dorm?” Jungkook suggested in a hopeful tone. “Come on, we barely see each other as it is.”

“Okay fine,” Y/N relented with a smile and was rewarded with a bright grin and he began to drag her out of the room.

While they walked through the corridors of Big Hit entertainment another thought came to her mind. 

“Jungkook,” she said as he hummed in reply. “What would you do if your relationship did get public. Without out permission.”

“You mean we get busted?” He asked amused and she rolled her eyes. 

“Well yeah that.”

“If that happens, i’ll probably write a letter to explain the situation for the ARMY’s.”

“Then what?” Y/N looked at him in anticipation as he gave a confused glance. 

“Theen we’ll just have to wait and see?” he finished confused. “Where are you going with this?”

“I don’t know...” His girlfriend sighed. “I guess I was just expecting something.”

There was a moment of silence. “You expected me to break up with you?”

She met his eyes and tried to shrug casually, but he saw through her strong act and let out a sigh. “Y/N, I will never break up with you, no matter what fans or someone else says. I love you, alright.”

His words did assure her, but she couldn’t just help but wonder. “But it’s your career Jungkook, what if I ruin it? And the boys as well!”

Jungkook put his hands on her shoulders and hoped it would calm down her thoughts. “You won’t,” he stated. “EXO’s Baekhyun went through the same thing with a dating scandal, as well as Kai. You don’t see their careers going down,” he pointed out. “And I believe that majority of the fans will support us.”

He sounded so sure that she couldn’t help but smile and nod in agreement. “Okay, I believe you.”

He grinned before giving her a quick peck and taking a hold of her hand again. “Good, now come on. The members will be happy to see you!”

#BTS #jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts fanfiction #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst

[letstalkabouttvshows]

Top 5 moments from Arrow finale “Lian Yu”

Ok. It’s been awhile since I last wrote a piece about Arrow. But season 5 has been an incredible and exciting ride and it finished with a well deserving bang. Actually, multiples bangs.

(Be still our hearts!) So here are my top 5 moments of the finale: 

5. Everytime Slade showed up on screen.

Seriously. How much have we missed him? I always loved Slade. I loved his friendship and bond with Oliver during their island days. They were brothers. They were a good team. Let’s all remember: Slade saved Oliver once upon a time. It was so nice to see that Slade back in play - mirakuru free and in possession of all his marbles.

Everything about Slade’s character it’s brilliant. From my viewer’s point: Through most of the episode I was genuinely afraid Slade would turn against Oliver (really hoping he wouldn’t but kind of excited if he would - because Slade Wilson as an opponent it’s truly entertaining and amazing to watch).

That’s a good character! Who can make you wonder and stay on the edge of your seat.

What I truly enjoyed though was how we could feel the sorrow in Slade’s actions and words. The way he stepped back when Oliver was holding Deathstroke’s mask. The way he was honest with: I killed your mother. You should’ve killed me. The way he had Oliver’s back (with some great fight moves), the triple cross moment and most importantly: the advice about forgiveness.

Let’s be honest: Slade gets Oliver. They both went through hell. They both were put in horrific situations they did not deserve. Oliver’s fight to survive. Slade’s consequences of being subject with crazy drug. In the end both of them survived. Both of them know what it feels to truly regret actions and choices.

It makes sense the “you and me, kid” sentence. So, it was nice to see that Oliver took Slade’s advice and forgave himself from all the terrible things that happened since his father’s suicide.

Is it too much to ask to have Slade as a series regular next season? Or maybe have him for a few episodes? It’ll be interesting to see how he and Oliver can repair their very complicated relationship.

4. Olicity

Awn, Olicity. That’s what I’m talking about.

In the last  5 years, we’ve seen them met, be friends, partners and lovers.

We actually got to see an epic hero love story develop from day one.

What worked really well is the way the writers established once and for all that Felicity is this hero’s great love. Let’s recap the moments?

It happened when Oliver said straight forward that he needed to focus and that meant Felicity had to be safe out of the island.

It happened when they kiss and Oliver optimistically said they were gonna make it through.

It happened when Felicity said that she didn’t wanna regret not kissing him because when it comes to them, she already has enough regrets. [ Yeah, that break-up it’s something that we all regret, Felicity].

It happened when he replied they were gonna have the talk once they were out of the island.

And it happened when Chase said his last line: “... it will be lonely without mom and Felicity”.  

I think it’s safe to say after 5 years, in this DC-tv-verse Felicity is canonically the love of Oliver’s life. In this universe and platform Olicity isn’t shipping anymore. It just is. Haters gonna hate but that it’s the truth.

The character’s love each other. That’s the story. Accept and move on.

Felicity and Oliver’s journey has been a crazy one. They both grew. They both made mistakes, but in this finale (that represents the full circle of Oliver’s path to be the hero) they both were what they were supposed to be: an hero and the strong girl with pure empathy.

Hoping for a very sweet reunion and free-drama Olicity from season 6 and on.

3. The whole team

The team really kick some butts. In a show like Arrow it’s difficult to have all the cast in the same scene or story arc. But they did it! They were all there.

It was very satisfying seeing how well they all worked together. Even Malcolm was fitting too well with the rest of the gang. Nyssa loyalty was also so sweet to see.

After all they’ve been through, they’ve shown they are strong as ever.

2. All the fights scenes

Every freaking fight scene. Specially Oliver and Chase’s. Just that.

1. Every Chase and Oliver scene

I’ve been waiting 5 seasons to hear Oliver say out loud that  he isn’t the killer anymore. “That’s who I was”. FINALLY! Oh, Oliver. Great moment!

Throughout the episode we got to see the real Oliver. The one in charge, making decisions with a team recognizing his leadership. Not because of his yelling, but because he earned their respect.

After all the trauma, the drama, the regrets, the guilt and all lost, Oliver became this super able badass honorable hero. And we have Chase to thank for the final push.

Chase forcing Oliver to admit his killer nature was nerve wrecking. The fight between the two  felt real and with high stakes.

Chase craziness and obsession made him a truly great villain. With no redeemable qualities. Not one.

But, the best scene from this finale was the last one. Chase committing suicide. 

First he bargained William’s life over everyone Oliver loves. Impossible situation. As a true hero, Oliver didn’t give in. Then Chase did the unthinkable, killed himself to make Oliver understand he will always bring death for those closest to him.

Man, in one second Oliver lost his sister, his girl, his best friend, the mother of his son, his father figure, his team and allies.

Everyone he loves. And we felt the brokenness right along with him through that look as he watches purgatory island go up in the air. It was shocking.

He finally was free from the weight of guilt. He was trusting the ability of his team to take care of themselves and he finally was in the light, defeating his enemy. He was not broken anymore. And then, everyone dies.

Ok, we all know know they are gonna make it … right?

That’s the brilliance of this season and the journey from the last 5 years. We know they are gonna make it, somehow (this is a freaking magic island, in a universe of metahumans, aliens and time travel). But even so, we are still wondering: are they?

We are shocked and feeling for Oliver. With Oliver.

We care about these characters. These heroes. We care about all the bad and ugly and painful situation they’ve been through. Isn’t that what a tv show specially a hero one should make us feel?  

We need to care for the hero. And, dear Arrow tv writers, we do.

Thank you for the best season yet!

#Arrow #CW #Olicity #Season Finale #Lian Yu #TeamArrow #5x23 #Oliver Queen #Felicity Smoak #John Diggle

[sacha-fallen-human]

I’ll Bring You with Me

Prompt by and for the fireplace contest, done by myself.

Closing my car’s door behind me, I took place in the driver’s seat, dropping a box next to me. My hair was sticking to my face and I was so glad that my hair wasn’t dyed yet. I don’t want to stain my car with red spot. I took a moment to relax, breathing deeply and listening to the pitter-patter of the rain. The truth is I love rain, it’s so powerful and it make me realise each time that I’m alive. I always want to just go and dance in it, sing about it, but I can’t afford to get even more wet right now. Maybe another day.

I finally bring my attention to the box. My parents were doing their spring cleaning and they found a bunch of my things, apparently forgotten there when I moved. To be honest I don’t think they are really important but it gave me a reason to visit my parents and to steal one or two of their muffin. I just wish That the rain would have waited until I could get the box inside of my car. It’s all wet and I kind of worry about the things inside of it.

I don’t actually know what is inside. It’s a mystery to be solved soon, but my mom looked very happy with herself. I consider starting my car and driving back to my apartment before opening it for half a minute but I’m far from a patient person. My parents’ house is on the other side of the street; I realise I could have just stayed inside in the first place. It would probably have been far more comfortable but I don’t want to risk getting the box in a worse state. Also because I’m lazy and don’t want to run back there but yeah.

I reach to open the box, ready to finally know what my parent found when my phone start to ring. “fucking hell” I say softly to myself. I reach for it and check who is calling. It’s my sister. I seriously consider answering but then I decide against it. I refuse the call, text her I’m busy right now, to tell me by text if she need anything or I’ll call her later.

I wait almost one minute for her to answer but she doesn’t so I pick a song to play softly in the background, not too much volume just enough to fill the silence, then place my phone on the dashboard. Now that that’s dealt with, time to bring my focus back on the mysterious box. I love resolving mysteries and I can’t help but smile as I open the lid. Inside of it sit a deep blue book, a game of tarot, a black notebook, three… no four sketch book, some pictures and a bunch of other things. I stare in wonder all of them. I take the blue book and delicately drop it in my laps as I read the title out loud, with a small voice; “They both die at the end”.

I take a moment to just look at the front page. After a moment the silence break. “This book was so great!” I suddenly freeze in my track, and I can feel a shiver down my spin. Because it definitely wasn’t me who spoke. That voice is a bit more singsong and a lot less rough than mine, yet it feels so familiar.

I turn around sharply, looking at the back seats and there I see something I was not ready to witness. There sat someone who look exactly like what I used to when I was a teenager. Wait, actually it’s literally a younger me. We have the same face, his hair is a pale blue and he’s wearing a big hoodie that engulf him. He looks like he just heard my most embarrassing secret, as if he knew something about me that I didn’t. I stare in his eyes for a while, holding my breath.

“Hey.” He said to me, looking like he was talking to a frighten animal. I mean to be honest, I was actually scared. It’s not everyday your younger self materialises in your car. I broke our eye contact to touch with precaution his legs. My hand passed trough so I finally let myself take a breath. I can deal with hallucination or ghost, but a real human who look like what I used to and who broke in my car would have been something else.

“I have a lot of question but first is; Are you here to kill me?” I said looking at him suspiciously.

He had the audacity to laugh at me. Gosh, I used to look like that when I laughed? “Don’t worry, I could never kill someone as beautiful as me” Did he flirt or was that a joke? Probably both knowing myself. “But seriously, don’t worry about the fact I’m here. I’m just…” he moved his hands as if that would help him find the answer. “A manifestation of your nostalgia. Yeah that sound good. Also you should stop pulling all-nighters non-stop. This is what happen when you don’t take care of yourself.” I was about to protest saying that I had things to finish that could not wait but then I realised I was talking to myself. So first; He already knew. Second; He was right. “Like seriously I can’t believe you ended up like that. You used to tell everyone to start a healthy sleep schedule. What happened?”

I just shrugged, unable to create an answer that would satisfy myself. He seemed to understand it and just smiled a bit sadly at me. “Anyway, I guess I should just accept this adventure and keep doing what I was doing or…?” I let the words hanging knowing that he would finish with what he wanted if my first guess was wrong.

“I think it would be more like a journey since you won’t have to fight anything or risk your life but yeah, just…keep looking at the things in the box.” He said smiling to me and bringing my attention back to the book in my laps with a nod of his head. “Remember how much this book affected you? You really wanted to live like every moment was the last after reading it.”

I smiled to myself, turning the page slowly, not even reading the words. I was just reminiscing about the old day. For a whole week after finishing it, all I wanted to do was find a stranger at my school and do something, anything. To just be free to do what I wanted with someone new. I never got around to it, unfortunately. It did change how I saw things in life though. I had no time to hate myself, no time to bother with people that weren’t interesting enough or would be bad for me. I didn’t have time to care about who like me and who didn’t. Sure, it still scared me and I couldn’t just change my whole mindset in one week but I just decide that I would try not to change my actions in functions of the “haters”. I don’t owe anyone my precious time. Except my mom because, let’s be honest, I wouldn’t have any time in the first place without her.

“I don’t think I managed to do that as much as I would have like to but I don’t think I did bad either.” I said softly to the weird passenger in my car. I heard a small breathy laugh coming from behind me. I looked at him and told him with a smile I couldn’t repress; “What? You think you’ll do better?” we both shared a smile at that. The way he smiles was identical to mine except for the fact that I didn’t have my “vampire” teeth anymore. It’s still weird to see myself sitting in the back seat of my car, don’t get me wrong, but this wasn’t as weird as it probably should be. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep and the fact I’ve always kind of talked to myself that gave me a strange sense of normality in this moment.

He stretched to look in the box, curiosity clear on his face. He looked at me like he just discovered a treasure. Maybe it was. He spoke with such joy in his voice. “Do you still keep a bullet journal? It was so fun and we were so good! I wonder if you do it a different way now.” I smiled back at him, a bit sad. The thing is, I didn’t anymore. I had kept it up for a long time but then I stopped at one point in my life. I can’t remember why exactly.

I reached into the box to take the notebook and started to look at pages and pages of planning and drawings. They were filled with everything that would go trough my head at that time. I didn’t write about my feelings in it or anything (except two page about one of my crush. After that I had decided to never do others like that again since I had to look at them even after the rejection). I had a lot of portrait of myself, calendar and ideas in it. I looked at my younger self and said looking in his eyes; “I guess I could try to do that again soon.” He gave me a look. You know that look when you just know that the person you’re talking to is probably not going to do it. My mom used to give me the same ones when she would ask me to do some chores. “I’ll go buy a notebook on my way back home.” He finally smiled to me again.

After a moment of content silence, me reading more pages and him looking at a couple walking under the same umbrella a bit further down the road, I closed the journal and putted it on the dashboard close to my phone. I looked at what was left in my box, my new friend looking over my shoulder. The tarot game was what caught my attention.

“Oh my god. Remember how cool it was to tell people you could read their future? It was super helpful to get friends. We only did readings for us when we were crushing on someone. You should do a reading later tonight.” He said while sitting back in his seat. I was about to take one of my sketchbook but I decided against it.

“hey, we’ve been here for a while we should probably get back to my apartment now.” His smile dropped a bit. “We can keep looking trough my things then, ok?” I look back at him and he smile at me with that same damn smile he had on when he appeared earlier. I gave him one back and start the engine. I change the music and turn the volume up.

On the way home, I’ll stop looking behind me. I’ll sing along with the music, hearing another voice scream the lyrics with me. I’ll stop on my way to buy a new bullet journal, picking the one with the brightest color. To make it a clear contrast with my first one. I’ll go back in my car and look in the mirror to find blue eyes watching me in wonder.  

Later, I’ll be back home and when I finally look behind me I’ll be alone in the car. No friend or hallucination smiling at me from the back seat. I mean, I guess there never was someone. I’ll give a sad smile toward the space he use to occupy and then bring the box inside my home. I’ll look trough all of the sketchbook, comparing with how my art look now. I’ll start making the first page of my new journal, after finding all of my pens. I’ll understand just how much I’ve grown and I’ll fall in love a bit more with myself, my heart filling with pride and love for the person I was and who I became. I’ll put the pictures that were sitting in the bottom of the box on my fridge, near the drawings of my nephew. I’ll try on these big earrings that I used to wear. Maybe I’ll go to sleep with my cheeks wet but this time not because of someone who broke my heart; Just because I was overwhelmed with good feelings for the first time in a while. I’ll be hugging my pillow and saying in the quiet of the night these words; “I’m sorry I left you behind.”

[airoasis]

Los Angeles Galaxy star Zlatan Ibrahimovic on aging well and finding motivation -- Body Issue 2018

This is an online special story from ESPN The Magazine's Body Problem 2018. Check out Sam Borden's function on Ibrahimovic's first weeks in Los Angeles here. Zlatan Ibrahimovic is not a modest male, so perhaps it's not surprising that LA's most recent celebrity chose to present for the 10th anniversary of the Body Concern. However there's still plenty for the international soccer icon to open up about. Ibrahimovic took a seat with ESPN's Chris Connelly just recently and revealed the information of his ruthless knee injury, how he's changing to his new group and that oh-so-memorable debut. Your unique appearance at the distinct stories of 16 athletes. See the photos" Check out the archive"ESPN: You're here to pose for the Body Issue. So exactly what's various about you physically from every other footballer?Zlatan Ibrahimovic: When I do something, I do it powerful. Is not about the appeal since everyone can look great. Not everyone is effective. And I bring that.You also bring creativity and design. What is the moment like on the pitch when you understand you can be imaginative? What needs to take place? I require to be angry. I

need to be really upset. Then I bring out my [ relocations] that you will not expect ... in an excellent way. And I see things that is challenging to explain. I can see holes in the game that I can use. And then I can see the vision, the second and the 3rd action, what will happen, and I anticipate those things.What encourages you? I discover the haters. I make that to give me energy. That is exactly what I had all my career-- I had individuals that didn't believe in me.

I had individuals who said that I will never ever make it. They evaluated me even prior to I even got a chance. All that I turn around and I made it a driven power for myself. I was driven to do whatever much better, never be pleased. That's how I kept on, and I still find those holes where I get that energy. However the issue is, I make my haters end up being fans. So I have to have more haters.It's going to be hard to find those haters if you keep going like you have actually been.

[Laughs] Yeah, but I'll discover them. I'll make them disturbed in some method. Peter Hapak Your precision is remarkable on the pitch. In your book [I Am Zlatan, 2001] you talk about a coach [previous Real Madrid supervisor

Fabio Capello] who put you right in

the penalty box and just fired balls at you over and over again. Every day. Heput me in front of the objective and I made, like, 50 to 100 shots every day. When I say every day, it was every day. And he continued to press me, push me, push me, and at the end he didn't have to call me . I went there by myself, and I did it due to the fact that it became my medication. I required to repeat it, and I had to train on it. You train hard, and tough work pays off. Which's why I hit the target possibly more than normal.What part of your body do you feel the most positive in, as far as your strength? The entire package. There is no weakness.Even at 36? That changes things a little bit, right? No, is ideal. I resemble the wine: the older, the better.

Age is just a number, it's all in your head, how strong you are, how young you are and how you prepare yourself. I do a lot of training. I prepare extremely well and I like it since it drives me. It never ever makes me satisfied because when I feel good, I desire to feel better. I'm a workaholic.You suffered a disastrous knee injury [in April 2017] , though. Exactly what was that like? It was very weird because I never had a significant injury. When it happened, I even stated to myself,"I'm not hurt.

"And I attempted to walk directly after. There is another gamer who got injured in the first half-- he was performed. I was going out due to the fact that I said I'm not hurt. And when I was available in, I still stated to myself,"I'm not hurt, it's simply a little contusion or something."Something felt various. The next day it was swollen, and we did MRI and it revealed that everything was off. Then you hear all the comments: It's all over. He will never return. He will never ever be the one he is. So now the haters come out. And all this provides me energy, all those individuals that are speaking. I stated, "I choose when I stop football. I decide how I will complete this story. I will not end this story by injury. I will leave the way I wish to leave." When I leave, I will feel much like when I started to play, effective and feeling perfect.How did you take the frame of mind that you give every match to your rehab? I trained every day, boring training. But I had to do it. And I had people around me that believed in me and offered me that extra push.

I had my household. I had my agent. I had my physio. We worked every day. When I signed the extra year with Manchester United [in August 2017], I asked [coach Jose] Mourinho,"Can I do [rehabilitation] from range? Due to the fact that if I see the teammates every day, I will go nuts."Why? Because I want to be with them. I am that kind of individual. When the coach needs me, I exist even if my knee is not there or I have a damaged leg or something. I will be there for them since that's how I work. When theyrequire me, I will defend them. And I will safeguard them in every minute. I asked to keep distance, to do my training isolated. I provide a big thanks to United [for letting me do that], to my teammates that was in United, to Coach Mourinho-- that provided me that self-confidence. And I'm here now, and I'm enjoying my football here now. Peter Hapak

Will it be tough for you to watch the Swedish national team play without you worldwide Cup? No. In the beginning, the first games was various since I felt I can do it much better than them, obviously. And still I feel that. But there is a time when you say let them do it and let them enjoy because where I originated from, I was not welcome. I was different. I originated from a different background. And I went through all those things and I became the captain on my national group. I indicate, larger than that it can not be.You heard the cheers here in LA with your phenomenal debut. You're smiling just remembering it. What did it seem like there on the pitch? It felt fantastic because the buildup was fantastic. The only wish from Galaxy was please be all set for March 31, and that's the game against LAFC. Simply prepare for that game and be all set and be here. And I say," Don't stress, this is my task. Just make my visa so I have it so I can come over."[ Chuckles] So whatever was all set. I came here. I trained for 20 minutes. I didn't understand anyone. The next day I'm picked for the video game. The coach asked me,"Are you sure you can play?" I stated, "Simply offer me some minutes. I'll show you. "And they were all asking," How's your knee? "I state," We simply have to learn how it is." And we were losing 1-0, so I'm resting on the bench and was, like, no issue, we can still do this. After 2-0 I take a look at my left, I stated to him, "I don't understand if Zlatan suffices for this." After 3-0, I state, "Listen, this will be a long season." Then I heard the crowd shouting, "We want Zlatan." OK, would they put me in or not? Or they will rest me? I didn't know anything. So I began to heat up. We did 3-1. OK, now it's your turn. You go in and then magic takes place. So I offered them Zlatan, like I stated. They wanted Zlatan, I offered them that.You've heard cheers in every terrific football cathedral worldwide. What was it prefer to hear those cheers in LA? It was fantastic since when I changed clubs I had an unique connection with the supporters. I feel the welcome. I feel the energy. I feel the adrenaline. And I simply desire to offer back. I wish to give back as much as possible, and specifically to the kids out there because they are the future. And I know they do not get to see me every day. Like, "You have the luck now to see me here." I simply desire to offer back to them as much as possible and by doing exactly what I'm good at, playing football. And that is where the creativity comes in. You want to do something extra. I wish to be the example they take after.For more from the 2018 Body Problem, get a copy on newsstands starting June 29. Set Design by Lizzie Lang/Walter Schupfer Management; Grooming by Erin Svalstad