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babygirlbridger · 3 months

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my darling<3<3 i have very much enjoyed everything you've told me about the coffee/pastry shop au so feel free to feed me more (pun intended) but i am also very intrigued by this ballerina au 👀👀

hi babe!!! sorry this took so long, but i got my ass in gear and made a snippet.

(psst, @brokenphoenix99 @violentcheese @forloveofcodywan @halfwaytoknowhere this one is for y'all too)

here, obi-wan is a professional ballerina and cody is an ex-marine who decided to be a sports medicine physical therapist at a clinic owned by kix. waxer is a kindergarten teacher, which isn't important to the plot but i thought you'd like that info <3

this would be another long-ish fic where obi-wan starts out as cody's patient and ends up pursuing him. cody is very confused because he's trying to stay professional, but obi-wan is so handsome and nice and funny and goddammit he's making cody fall in love with him, ethics be damned.

hilarity and shenanigans ensue.

here's a snippet for their first meeting (obi-wan gets to be a little slutty, as a treat)

Cody is a professional, you see.

He’s never had an issue separating work from his personal life, which really hasn’t been difficult, seeing as most of his patients have been teenaged athletes or huge burly football players that speak a grand total of five words to Cody and prefer to communicate through grunts and pointing at where it hurts.

And then there’s Obi-Wan.

When Cody heard he was being referred to a new client, a professional ballerina, Cody expected something like a tiny, rail-thin person to walk through his door with shitty ankles and a shittier attitude. Not that Cody has anything against ballerinas, specifically, but his only experience has been movies and TV shows and sue him for never meeting one in person.

And then…

There’s Obi-Wan.

Cody is not expecting the man that does walk through the door of the clinic with bright blue eyes, a kind smile, and soft auburn hair that falls just above his shoulders. Where Cody expected all ballerinas to be sharp edges, this man just looks so… soft.

And then he speaks.

“Hi, my name is Obi-Wan. I’m here to see…” Obi-Wan trails off and checks his phone, “Dr. Cody Fett?”

Cody springs into action from where he was more or less creepily lurking in the clinic, watching from a spot that gives him a view of the front desk. It’s his favorite spot to throw things at Jesse, their receptionist, when he’s not looking.

Cody strides into the lobby, attempting to act casual and if he wasn’t just gawking over the man that walked in. The man’s (Obi-Wan, Cody reminds himself) eyes dart to him and Cody tries to keep a straight face, but it feels like he’s burning under the gaze for some reason.

“Hi, that’s me,” Cody curves around the desk and stands a few feet in front of Obi-Wan, extending a hand.

Obi-Wan offers him another smile; a flash of white teeth and a small dimple on his chin. Cody watches his eyes assess Cody and dip down his body, but Cody brushes it off. It’s not the first time a patient has checked him out, though usually they’re more subtle.

He quickly sets the water bottle he’s carrying (it’s covered in stickers, and Cody registers a pride flag sticker, but decides to shove that information away) onto the desk to shake Cody’s hand.

“Pleasure to meet you. Thank you for getting me into your schedule so quickly. I have a recital coming up in a few weeks and I really need to get this bum knee figured out,” Obi-Wan says, taking his hand away and gesturing to his right knee, which is covered in a brace that fits underneath the hem of his biker shorts.

Cody returns his hand to his side, sliding it into the pocket of his black scrub joggers and politely laughs. He has the urge to ask where Obi-Wan’s (wonderfully smooth) accent is from, but that’s got nothing to do with his care and Cody internally chastises himself.

Focus.

“It’s no problem. Why don’t you go ahead and come back with me and we can figure out what’s going on? You can put your stuff on that table at the back” Cody says, gesturing to some cubbies they got for free when Waxer emptied out his old classroom.

Obi-Wan shoots him a grateful smile and begins walking into the clinic just ahead of Cody. After a step, though, Obi-Wan drops his phone, which would be fine, except he abruptly bends at the waist to pick it up. His back arches probably a little more than necessary, and the biker shorts don’t leave a lot of his body to the imagination.

Cody, thanking every possible deity that he still has quick reflexes from his Marine days, stops and flies a hand out to grip the desk to prevent himself from tripping and promptly running his pelvis into what is, unfortunately, a fantastic ass.

Obi-Wan grabs his phone and stands back up fluidly, turning over his shoulder to shoot Cody a smile that, well… It's been a while since Cody’s gotten around, but he could swear it’s flirtatious.

“Sorry. Can’t bend at the knees,” Obi-Wan explains, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all.

In fact, he quickly drags his eyes down Cody’s body and Cody could swear he bites his lip before turning on his heel and walking to the cubbies.

Cody doesn’t respond and he feels his face has heated up, so he turns to Jesse to make sure that all of that actually just happened. Jesse turns from where he was watching Obi-Wan and looks to Cody with slightly raised brows before he gets a look at Cody’s blush and bites his lip to hide a smile.

“Did you se-” Cody begins to whisper.

“I saw it,” Jesse nods and snickers.

Cody blinks dumbly at Jesse, his systems still a little offline as he tries to process that a patient (a beautiful one, but that’s entirely besides the point) just openly flirted with him and tried to get him to look at his ass (it worked, but that’s entirely besides the point).

Jesse looks over at Obi-Wan again and breaks out into an amused grin, his hand coming up to rub at his mouth. He turns to look at Cody again and Cody is a little scared of what he just saw.

Jesse jerks his head over to Obi-Wan and Cody gulps before looking over there. Obi-Wan is working on re-tying his shoes, which is innocent enough, but…

That motherfucker is bending at the knee.

#this was fun and now I can't decide bw starting this or coffeeshop waaaahhh #in WIP hell #codywan #codywan ficlet #my writing

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doctor-badadvice · 4 months

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Let's talk about Fast Forward for a bit.

Specifically I want to talk about the main theme of that season: why? Why did the art style deteriorate so much? Why did the writing get so bad? Why did this come out before season 5 but also supposedly happens after season 5 and at the same time only occasionally acknowledges its events? Why is there a kid now? Why am I watching this when I only really care about maybe three episodes at best?

Because I was bored. But let's go with order.

I'm going to say it now, I'm still going to claim there is no season 6 in Ba Sing Se. But at the same time, it isn't all that bad actually?

Here's the thing. FF was inevitable for many reasons. TMNT, with its aliens and magic, has the potential to go on forever. However, at some point "turtle fatigue" will set in. In the 80s, this happened around season 7 which yeah, it's about 150 episodes in. For the 2003 show it happens around season 5 but this doesn't mean the higher-ups will try stupid changes to bring back the old glory.

Moreover, the show brought it upon itself. The main culprits, so to speak, are the writing's insistence on portraying consequences as much as possible (see: Leo's scarred shell for instance), as well as season 4 with its funny gory shift (see: that one episode where Baxter watches his own body fall apart which wow).

So it isn't unexpected that the higher-ups and especially the toy maker went "Kids, could you lighten up a little?" and messed up everything that was good about the show.

So this is basically why I don’t like FF. Five seasons are a long commitment. You have to sit through the ninja tribunal arc which is boring as hell, then have to be really patient and accept that there are just dragons now for some reason. Then FF comes up and it has nothing of what you previously enjoyed. The style is different, too flat and kinda clunky and ugly in some spots, nothing that happened before matters and now Cody is there.

Remember networks, kids don't want to watch other kids go on adventures in their place and it doesn't get better with age. But you do you.

So I despised FF but after rewatching the season on its own, I have to make amends in some spots.

The general impression when you watch FF on its own, without the better stuff still fresh in mind and with something to do during the dull parts, is that of good background noise.

It takes many steps backwards. The turtles are suddenly less competent at fighting where it's convenient, their personalities are more one dimensional depending on the plot and they're kinda shitty to each other for no reason. They really suffer from that serial effect where the reset button is hit as soon as the credits roll. They used to go out to murder the Shredder knowing they might die and now it's "Today Mikey really wants a new video game and next episode we're going to a fancy party with the kid dressed in the dumbest suits ever and a silly happens :)"

Splinter also gets sidetracked a lot and he's more there to occasionally call the turtles whippersnappers but again, there isn't much of a reason for him to step in anymore.

And this brings me to the villains. I feel like the turtles only work as well as their villains. They work when they're getting into a fight with a local street gang, or trying to kick an alien empire out of the planet before everyone dies. They work when the Shredder actually does something meaningful and generally speaking are going against someone actually dangerous.

The first five seasons had Shredder, the Foot, Hun, the Triceratons and Bishop. FF has an annoying wrestler whose main priority is property damage, a gang of netrunners who I wish got up to more interesting things than scalping and quoting the Matrix, literal evil twins from the tv trope literal evil twins, and the idiots in charge.

The idiots in charge are of course beloved uncle Darius and Sh'Okanabo.

These two really are something. Darius is essentially that guy from the first Iron Man movie. He's the acting CEO because the owner is a literal child. He smiles and preaches big keeping up the facade of benevolent company of the shiny Earth utopia but he has a dark secret which is that he's making guns and a mecha suit for himself and Cody takes several episodes to realize this for some reason.

You'd think Darius would stop being a threat the moment his dark deeds are uncovered since his whole thing is "evil capitalist guy is evil". But no, he's gonna go higher, he's going to ally with Shittibobo because he needs new genetically modified minions he can badmouth while fucking around all day in his sewers loft and we don't even get the payoff of Darius realizing that he's being fucked over by an alien during the Day of Awakening.

Plus because of how afraid FF is to explore anything heavier than Mikey insisting they go out to achieve explosive diarrhea from questionable junk food, even the fact that Darius is an abusive father figure for Cody has no real importance because Cody is only allowed to look sad on screen for five seconds. Remove Darius and the overall season arc remains the same.

What about the other guy? Well, Sushibooboo is the supposed big bad of the season. He's an alien who wants to kill life on Earth to steal resources. He's something beloved President Bishop goes out of his way to personally murder. But the only thing he achieves is to confirm that he's just offensively stupid.

Sh'Okanabo is supposedly an alien boogeyman who's so evil he just can't be real, right? Unfortunately, he's the literal cause of his own demise.

Since the turtles are more than content with babysitting Cody and going around complaining about historical accuracies like that one Futurama episode, they don't know who Sh'Okanabo is and after talking to Bishop they don't care to find out. Great. This means he can operate in the dark, grow his eggs and prepare to kill everyone, right? No way. In pure Sasalele style, he goes out of his way to attack the turtles, tell them what he’s up to and scare them enough to start to actively prepare to fight him.

And on top of that he wastes time to build a time machine because somehow Shredder had to return for one episode which in turn almost fucks up his plan entirely since his ship almost explodes.

So I still don't like FF because of the way the writing plummeted. A lot of stuff happens because it's convenient and often falls back into exquisitely 90s/2000s tropes (see: the obviously evil guy gets away with evil deeds because the parents/cops/people with power are blind and children are stupid, that one car race episode which is a repeat of the previous car race episode from earlier in the show, a female character who's only there to be a love interest and is allowed to be smart and cute because Cody likes them smart and cute, just to name a few). The turtles get dumber depending on the episode and there are some attempts at comedy like Starlee's shitty family that give out levels of second hand embarrassment not seen since Star Trek TNG.

But I don't hate this season entirely either. FF is just very mid and it makes me think that it could have worked as a standalone show for a while because you can watch it more or less. I'm just this isn't what we got in place of the actual show because it wouldn’t have lasted.

Still I did enjoy some things:

Torbin Zixx is fun. He has some interesting tricks, even though 60% of them only work because the turtles are written especially stupid in his episodes. Plus he steals Bishop's space shuttle which is glorious

I ended up liking Sterling a little towards the end. I still feel like his humor is a sanitized version of Baxter's but I like that he collects clips of the turtles getting hurt to watch to calm down and that he's actually always ready to throw hands

President Bishop is so stupid, yet brilliant (and I'm going to talk about him in a separate post because the worldbuilding is really something and I have OPINIONS)

Raph commenting that power armors are so last season while fighting Darius made me chuckle even though I won't tolerate this supersuit slander

This moment:

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt fast forward #2k3 turtles #agent bishop #Sh'Okanabo is so bad he doesn’t deserve his name spelled properly #now I'm off to write about how FF casually shows what happens when Bishop is left unsupervised and everyone is just okay with that

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oddmerit · 11 months

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i try REALLY hard to like cohost dot org and there IS a lot to like about it, legitimately:

most of the staff are jewish gaytrans furries so they Get the need for firm moderation that accounts for “plausible deniability”-type bigotry, even if they slip up it’s pretty quickly rectified (see below)

good 18+ filtering, pro-posting queer hole

NO BULLSHITE ALGORITHMS. chrono timelines only

css/html/markdown crimes

that being said.

the general culture there is rough bc a lot of the prominent powerposters are friends or friends-of-friends of the devs by nature of how they conducted the closed alpha, but bc of the lack of public metrics it’s considered taboo to claim that there ARE powerposters in the first place. and because powerposters are just a few degrees removed from the devs, people who WERENT part of the alpha want to emulate that general vibe. part of which means getting extremely hostile and defensive if anybody says something that could be construed as putting the devs down and claiming they’re “twitterbrained” or whatever and that people who “expect too much” of the devs are going to be the downfall of the site

the most recent incident of this stemmed from a moderating misstep where someone i followed reported a nazi channer who followed her and was part of an antisemitic harassment campaign, but hadn’t posted anything to the site yet. the staff who handled her report said “this is concerning so we’ll wait and see BUT we don’t take action based on offsite behaviour”, despite that being untrue based on previous moderation actions (notably TERFs getting nuked from orbit before they could even start posting). the person who reported them got upset and several of her followers (including me) were like “what the fuck, that’s unexpected and shitty”, some saying that made them feel unsafe in case that ever happened to them. once the decision got traction (and other people started reporting the account) the staff went back on its decision “based on internal review” and suspended the account in question, which is where this story should have ended

except, the day after it happened, i woke up to a post on my cohost dashboard that was someone screaming their head off about people who had said “this is disappointing and makes me concerned”, and kept quoting one specific person who they claimed had overreacted and was symptomatic of the above-mentioned “twitterbrain” and that it was all “bad faith”. like, if THAT is gonna be the community reaction to someone being alarmed about inconsistent moderation, why would you ever publicly bring up moderation concerns at all?

its one thing to ask site members to be considerate of staff (its a small team and half of them were at a con AND it was a weekend AND they eventually backtracked and apologized anyways so it was all good at that point) but its another thing to go off on a rant quoting mostly one specific person while claiming its really “just general you” and claim that they’re the reason the site will go under. if you’re going to claim that you need to bite your tongue over missteps “for the good of the community” that’s a HUGE fucking red flag! bc thats how resentment will grow and eventually explode into something MUCH worse! it wouldnt turn into “intra-community infighting” if everyone was like “cool, thank you, please make sure this doesnt happen again” after the issue is solved instead of dragging it out and turning it into an example of “oooo look how PRO-HARASSMENT twitter has made you, you’re HARASSING the devs by voicing concern”!

and dont get me STARTED on the shitfits people were throwing when staff said “we don’t allow loli on this site”. people understand “cohost isnt a free speech absolutist site like twitter” when it comes to hate speech but they absolutely do NOT understand it also applies to jerking it to fictional csa lmao. cohost isnt overrun by “puritans”. the devs will not ban queer hole*. the devs post queer hole. its fine

(*the only way i can see NSFW getting banned is if stripe drops them for processing cohost+ subs or the future tipping system and even then i trust staff will fight for Queer Hole as hard as they can)

#unidentified gay noise

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thatiranianphantom · 2 years

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I don’t really like the whole "they need to be single for a while because they need to health from their trauma first" narrative because it doesn’t apply for everyone or every couple.

These are my opinions:

I actually think that when VA gets together again they need to go slow because they already went too fast on season 5 only for it to end with mixed opinions about the future. I do feel there’s some issues with Archie that he needs to think about (such as properly grieving his father and define if he truly wants to built a life in Riverdale) as well as Veronica dealing with not being able to be alone romantically (as always needing someone with her which is why I think her power will be part of that process) and coming back with Archie right back will crack that important development. She needs to realize she can be on her own for a while before fully entering a relationship with Archie again. And I can honestly see the writers giving them some healing on season 7 and having them be close but not romantically explicit yet (similar to how it was on season 5 before the divorce) and then a confession by mid season 7 about wanting to be together and building a family, a parallel to their 518 conversation.

With BH is different, they have quiet a lot of baggage, that’s for sure but they also haven’t been together in more than 7 years (as oppose to VA). They haven’t been together romantically and all their interactions have been platonic since the time jump but I think that as oppose to VA – they’ve made emphasis on how shitty and traumatic their life’s have been without the other (and this is where I think the whole choice between going with Jughead vs joining FBI being ultimately a turning point for Betty wasn’t a coincidence) plus being Betty the one that saved Jughead during his traumatic episode. BH has always been framed as the type that work together better as a unit because Betty needs emotional support and she isn’t getting it from anyone right now – Jughead used to act as her biggest outlet emotionally (and vice serve). I can see BH coming back together by season 6 finale after a very emotional turning point and support each other to work on their trauma as they used to do before. It helps that they haven’t had their romantic moment yet since the time jump because the next one will be definitive for their character arcs. I don’t think it’s a coincidence one of Betty’s memories on 614 was when Jughead was comforting her about her "evil genes" and about them not being like their parents. Them coming to terms together that Betty is not like Hal and Jughead is not FP is their endgame. It’s been their theme for all seasons. Them overcoming the fear of being like their parents and adopting their behaviors is something that will complete their full character arcs and it needs to be together.

Basically, I see VA being "officially together" next season while they maintain very flirtatious interactions in between. BH having a big moment on the finale that turns everything around for them to be together and having the reunion moment for the first time in 2 seasons. This is what I would do if I were Roberto and what to gain audience for the big last season because I’ll be thinking of the rewatchability factor already. At this point is about giving the fans and there’s characters their due time.

Agreed, anon.

BH also have a lot more water under the bridge. I feel like the finale will bring us back to 517 and leave BH in a good place to rebuild, with BA and JT being over, and then S7 can just be classic BH in Real Riverdale, with some shippy moments before we get there.

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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 2 years

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Y'all wanna hear some tea?

(Very long... under the cut)

There's this guy in my class who's a total Nice Guy (derogatory). Like, I'm talking "All women want are men who are shitty to them" Nice Guy. And I was a fool enough to be nice to him so he didn't idk murder me with an axe or whatever, so I admit that that was my fault there because I'm one of those "be nice to everyone until they give reason for you not to be" you know?

To sum up a long story, I genuinely do not feel comfortable around this guy. At all. Never have all of the red flags in my head flown up at the same time until I met this guy.

Like, he's super nosy, for one. I was feeling really uncomfortable so I made up a fake ex-girlfriend on the spot since from my experience that usually gets Nice Guys to stop but not only did he ask "Gay or bi?" but he also asked how often she and I "did it." Mind you, I just met this guy, like, why did he feel entitled to know that shit? Then, he sits next to me in both class and discussion, and he's super touchy. Like, I'm okay with my friends tapping me or nudging me, but I just met this guy and he's poking me constantly and making the same remarks to me that close friends make, it's really... really off putting. Not to mention, he's kind of... unhygenic. And he's an anti-masker, go figure, he was coughing up a lung next to me in the study room, but that's another thing (my university is still under mask mandate for reference).

And maybe this is me being mean but like, one he called himself goofy unironically, two he calls himself silly unironically, and three he used trolling in today's day and age of 2022, like, what? It's clear that this dude is always on discord too because he's in 30 servers (trust, he showed it to us) and, get this, his favorite thing to say is "I'm lonely, I don't have friends here right now" (yup)

Okay, wait, back track, I met him a year ago in an English class, actually, but we only spoke once because we proofread each other's essays and that is a black hole in and of itself because he would not stop DMing me the creepiest things like lowkey fetishizing my height (p*do much?) and kinda being a literal white savior as soon as I mentioned I was Asian. Like, did I ask? It's nice to hear "I'm sorry you have to go through that" but I don't want to hear the way you want us to deal with our problems, you know? He also made a very inappropriate condom joke to someone who btw only met him because she needed to proofread his essay (thank god this was during online school btw) and, not to mention, he even asked for my body count (in terms of sex). Like? What the fuck??

Needless to say, I obviously cannot forget how much of a creep he is so when I ran into him on the first day of classes in person I was kind of already off put, but I figured, maybe he had some character development or whatever.

He didn't. He's still creepy as hell but only this time he's also a Pick Me Boy. The whole day yesterday he was being really kinda creepy. He's part of our study group so we hang out a lot to study (for reference). But me and my friend (also in the study group, let's call her F) had to drop by the book store really quick to buy some supplies so the three of us left together. The whole time he was like 5-10 steps behind us, ngl, it kinda made him look like a stalker or something, so periodically me and F would ask him why he was so far or to catch up with us (he's significantly taller than us so it'd be easy for him to just take like two or three steps to catch up). He'd say yes then proceed to not do it so like what could I do, you know? We even started walking slower so he could catch up but he didn't so whatever. Anyway, flashforward to the book store, we're buying our materials and we get caught up in conversation with an incoming freshman so we were giving tips and all so she wouldn't feel too overwhelmed and all, and, suddenly, NG goes missing. Like me and F couldn't find him anywhere in the store so we figured he went back to the study room without telling us (rude much?) we couldn't see him outside either so we just did our thing and left.

Anyway, as we're walking out of the book store, we start making our way back to the study room and, get this, NG was literally hiding from us behind a pillar. Like... what the fuck? So F and I were like "hey so that's where you've been! We were looking for you! Let's get to the study room" and he was like "okay sure!" so we did that and we were talking so it sounded like he was okay again and F and I were just like "huh okay?" but, as we're about to enter the study room, I kid you not, this guy goes "sorry for being so mopey today" with the 🥺😒 face like WHAT. So I'm like "It's fine, we all have our days" like what elSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY I don't know this guy! And boom he's "mopey" again. And the whole time he was doing long sighs and longing glances, basically the thing people do when they want you to ask them what's wrong but... buddy... we're studying for P-Chem rn and we're all on the verge of failing, not to mention we don't know you, we're not going to ask because it's not one of our concerns rn (as horrible as that sounds-). And, get this, he's older than me.

So, me and F were talking at the end of the day and I was like "hey so what happened to him? did he tell you?" and she was like "yeah, he said he was feeling left out" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Wait, wait, so his solution was to further leave himself out? Like, I get it, but he's an adult. Every time we did something, he made the active choice not to come along/participate regardless of whether or not F and I encouraged him to come along, so how the fuck is it our problem?

TL;DR, this guy is mentally and emotionally immature, he doesn't know physical and personal boundaries and gets butthurt when you set them, and he thinks he's entitled.

Or maybe I'm being the bitch here, I don't know, all I know is that I don't feel comfortable around him and I would die before being in a room alone with him.

#crys talks #personal

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mangosimoothie · 2 years

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The Bachelorette: Episode 20 - Parlez-vous Français?

Welcome back to The Bachelorette! Now Aja will go on her fantasy dates with Bastien and Ryan, then it will finally be time for her to send another bachelor home and select the final three who will have a shot at her heart. So, who will be the final three? We’re about to find out...

Bastien of course goes above and beyond, and takes Aja on a romantic hot air balloon ride, a prince charming as always.

[soundtrack]

Bastien: You’re not afraid of heights, right? Aja: Bas, you know my only fear is worms. I’m SO excited! I’ve always wanted to do this!! Bastien: Well, I live to give you everything you want.

Up and away they go, literally on top of the world! What a beautiful view of the jungles.

B: Aja, I brought you here to this view to show you that I truly want to give you the world. I know I can be seen as overbearing or as you say ‘extra’ but this is because when I love someone it is with my entire being. There is nothing I would not do, no lengths I would not go to, to show you that. A: I know, Bastien. Things have been so confusing lately, but you’ve always done so much to show me how much you care. B: It’s true. I’m happy to see we can finally begin to right the wrongs of the past.

A: Hold up. What do you mean by that exactly? ‘Right the wrongs of the past?” B: It’s just a saying, ma chérie. It sounds better in French. What I mean to say is that since I have known you, I’ve known that we were meant to be here, on top of the world together. A: It is pretty nice. Maybe you’re right.

While Bastien and Aja are on their date, the guys back at the Bachelorette Pad think they should do some exploring of their own. Zeke checks in with Ryan to see if he wants to join in on the fun.

Z: X’irron’s never seen a frog before, so I’m gonna help him look around the jungle and see if we can find some. Wanna come? R: You guys go ahead. I feel shitty today. Z: You good? R: …Can I like, confide something in you?

Ryan tells Zeke about his polycythemia vera (Remember, from Episode 4? The rare cancer he has that makes him have too much blood?) and how Atticus had been helping him with it. Since that arrangement ended, Ryan’s symptoms have gotten worse, and he admits to being worried he won’t have the energy for a fun jungle adventure date. The thing is, Ryan’s symptoms weren’t even that bad before Atticus, so he’s not sure why he’d feel this sick after.

Z: Shit man…I’m sorry. Did he maybe turn you and you’re transforming or..? R: Definitely not. Atticus’s coven is really serious about ‘protecting the bloodline’ or whatever, so he would never turn me. I could be literally about to die and he wouldn’t. I mean, not that becoming a vampire is the most IDEAL way to cure cancer but it’s fucked up that like even as a hypothetical — never mind. Stupid Z: Hmm…Ryan, do you want advice or just support right now? R: Ugh. Fine. Advice. Z: So, mental health can also affect you physically and make health conditions you already have worse. Some people will get seriously ill or progress in sickness if they’re under a lot of stress, or depressed, or something traumatic happens to them, or they lose someone important- R: Yeah no, I’m pretty sure it’s because of the overproduction of red blood cells in my bone marrow.

Z: Alright man, well, take it easy and let me know if I can do anything for you. R: Thanks, Zeke. And…I guess I like, really appreciate you and value our friendship and I’m glad you’re here for me or whatever. Z: Aww, Ryan! Not you openly expressing your feelings and being emotionally vulnerable! R: Not you ruining it. Have fun with your frogs.

After their date, Aja takes Bastien back to the Fantasy Suite. It’s 3 for 3 so far - you go, girl!

B: Sit and have some champagne with me. I know it’s premature, but we should celebrate finally making it to the end of this game, no? A: I actually brought you back here because I really need to talk to you. In the balloon, you said something about ‘righting the wrongs of the past’ and I figured out why it rubbed me the wrong way - That’s exactly what Cooper told me that you said, and I didn’t believe him. And I STILL don’t know what it’s supposed to mean. Bas. What’s going on? Seriously. B: Cooper is a known liar who uses his buffoonish charm to avoid critique, mon amour. Don’t tell me you’d consider taking his word over mine. A: I just wish I could know CONCRETELY what was said. He said you were talking to your agent - can we call your agent? I’m sorry, I just need a third party to confirm. B: My agent only speaks French. A: But he’s from LA-

B: Aja, you need to stop overthinking and take my word.

Honestly this is ridiculous. Aja’s right - it would be SUCH a better conflict if somebody got #exposed. I want my ratings spike, so we need a REVEAL!! We dropped the ball not hiring a French translator, but SOMEBODY on this crew has to speak French. Right??? Like, come on. If anyone in this room speaks French, I need you to say something NOW before the network pulls the plug on season 2.

???: Um, I actually speak some French…I studied abroad in Paris.

Aja: Wait, what?

Sorry, who are you again?

“I’m Rylie, um, I’m a PA? I brought you coffee this morning? I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier, but the 2nd AD told me that PAs are supposed to be a kind of a seen not heard thing and I didn’t wanna get in trouble or overstep…”

Okay, someone go tell the 2nd AD he’s fired. Rylie, congrats. You’re our new translator.

[soundtrack]

Rylie, who’s an absolute gem by the way, goes through some of our footage that we weren’t able to translate and brought the truth to light once and for all.

Turns out, Bastien’s mom wasn’t critiquing Aja, she was DEFENDING her! She didn’t have a single negative thing to say about Aja, and in reality was telling Bastien that he needed to drop his grudge and move on. She told him that what he was about to do would ruin his reputation forever. Bastien told her that he was doing what he had to do, and that it would all work out in the end.

Bastien was telling the truth about being on the phone with his agent talking about his tour, but he’d omitted a LOT of details. Cooper was right- Bastien was planning on getting Aja to choose him so that he could reject her, and make her see that she wasn’t as perfect as she thinks. Turns out Aja rejected his elaborate proposal to their senior dance in high school, and he’s had it out for her ever since. The scandal was sure to make his Cherie tour the ULTIMATE topic.

A: Are you KIDDING me?! That was a decade ago!! B: You humiliated me in front of the whole school! You deserve to feel how I felt. You should have realized that I could have been the best thing to ever happen to you, but you were too vain and stupid to see what was right in front of you. A: You’re completely insane. You knew I was going with someone else, and that I HATE elaborate promposals.

“Aja, it doesn’t have to end this way! We can end up together for real-”

“Don’t touch me!! It’s over, Sebastien. I mean it. Pack your shit and get the fuck out. Tonight.”

“Fine. I’ll leave. But just remember this - one day you will come to realize that missing out on Bastien Cupidon is the worst mistake you’ve ever made.”

“God damnit. I can’t believe I let the narcissist lead me on for this long. And the worst part is, it means we were never really friends. He was always just waiting for his chance. Ugh, this is so so fucked up.”

The next morning, Aja invites the remaining bachelors back to her suite so she can explain the situation.

“Hey guys, thanks for being here. So, there was an incident last night and I unfortunately had to send Bastien home on the spot. That means there won’t be a rose ceremony this week because I already know who didn’t belong here. I don’t want this to take away from the experience though! I’m still really looking forward to spending the day with Ryan - wait, hold up—

Aja: — Does anyone know where Ryan is??

Neither X’irron nor Zeke are sure. The last time anyone’s seen him was when he told Zeke that his symptoms were getting worse. And he did look pretty worse for wear…

Aja: Oh my god…did something happen to him?! Where is he?!

[soundtrack]

NEXT | PREVIOUS | BEGINNING

#simblr #sims 4 stories #ts4 cc #ts4 gameplay #ts4bachelorette #ep20 #bastien #oc:ryan

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surrealsunday · 1 year

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@how-mytearsricochet ... Apologies this response is late! I wanted to give my answers proper time and thought! So I’m going to paste that part of your previous ask below:

I’m more than curious to hear about your opinion at this point of the storyline and I’m practically dying to know the behind-of-the-scene details because it will never cease to fascinate me your writing process and your line of thought: were you frustrated with some of the characters and their actions at some point? Has it been challenging to write scenes like that, do compromises to make it follow a precise timeline given that this time you had to follow a predetermined script ecc

None of your other versions of Elu had ever been through such a horrible messy betrayal as this one; how did that make you feel as an Elu stan and/or as an author? Can you picture it as something one of your versions of Eliott and Lucas (I don’t mean the ones we’ve already met, I mean hypothetical ones that could be born by your hand) would be capable of do eventually (betraying Lucas’s trust)?

So how did “10 Things” was born exactly? What put this specific idea in your mind -The Chosen One- and consequently translated into action? Do you have any other Elu ideas/drafts we don’t know anything about?

Was there anything you would’ve liked to change and/or point out of the OG script? I’ve found insightful the way you pointed out at the very beginning how shitty was for Arthur and Bas as “friends” to act like that behind Lucas’ back -and essentially at his expense-, although I’ve forgiven Bas the very moment Eliott make him notice it, and it was clear Bas never actually thought what kind of friend the deal made him look like and was starting to feel bad (Bas is a baby, you can’t stay mad at a baby 😭); color me naïve or shallow but I admit although I watched it countless times, I’ve never given a lot of thoughts about how ethically moral was the deal from that point of view lol but uhm at least Cameron and Michael weren’t Kat’s friends in the movie.

How did you pick the topic between Lucas and Charles, where did it come from? (if we’re speaking about that, I’m quite curious about Lucas and Doctor Moreau as well; how do you pick Lucas’ different personal trauma? do they come later in the process or are they part of the initial process of building up a specific AU?)

You said once that long stories drain the hell out of you as a writer, did that happen with 10 Things in its own way? How much do you think you have invested, given but also gained, grown as a writer from this experience?

So I’m going to start with how the idea of 10 Things came about and how the story developed. But keep in mind that I am super chaotic in how I write and not organized at all lol. I fly by the seat of my pants and often my best ideas come as I am writing. I am very visual so most of the time I have scenes playing out in my head long before I try to write them. And if a scene won’t play in my head I find it nearly impossible to write (which did happen to me a few times with this fic which is part of why it took me much longer than usual to write).

I thought following a movie premise would make the writing process a lot easier becuase the outline is right there for me. And in some ways that was definitely true. Especially when I started the fic. I knew I was never going to follow the movie line-by-line or scene-by-scene because that would have bored me completely and it’s just really not my thing, but I was still able to follow of rough outline of how things were going to go.

Now of course my own ideas coming into play did complicate things a bit. I didn’t have any problem coming up with ideas. Those came very naturally (like how each character would work into things, what role they would play, the background story for Lucas and Charles, etc). But figuring out how I was shifting those storylines in my own world did occassionally stump me. It actually became harder to follow a movie premise because I am used to just sort of letting the characters go and I see what happens. Here I wanted to keep things more concise and I wanted to stick to a similar breakdown of plotpoints so it was almost like forcing myself to be more organized than I would be normally with writing. It worked out and I did still enjoy, but I definitely had moments of needing to stop myself and asking ‘ok, but what are you trying to get out of this scene?’ Because it’s not enough for me to say, ‘The scene was in the movie.’ I need to have a reason for that scene existing and it needs to impact and move the story forward in some way. Doing that while not doing my usual ‘Oops now it’s a 200k story’ was a challenge lol.

10 Things was really just born from me rewatching the film and I s2g 9/10 I watch things and immediately think ‘ooohhh but what if this was elu’? It’s just how my brain works lol. Hyperfixation is a funny beast. So it wasn’t anything more complicated than that. But why I chose to actually write it is that I thought it would be an easier (ha!), more light-hearted (hah!!!) fic and I was in the mood for that at the time as I had just finished Mood Tattoo.

Also I found it fascinating that you said none of my other Elu’s have ever had such a horrible messy betrayal. Like that is very true but honestly I didn’t really think it explicitly like that when I wrote it. So I wasn’t intimidated by that at all. Tbh I think my main thought was, ‘Oh yes, opportunity for some delicious angst.’ And it was interesting going into that knowing that the reader (at least those familiar with the movie) would know where the angst was coming from and would generally know when it was going to hit. It made me wonder if it would still have an impact. Obviously I changed things and I didn’t flinch from making it painful, but I wasn’t too worried about it being as messy as it became either. I’m not sure if that’s just because I had confidence as a writer tho lol. I think it is more that I write as I go and then I step back at the end and look at the whole product.

In terms of things I would change about the OG 10 Things movie, tbh I think most of what I would change was likely scenes that were cut. Like Bianca’s role in the betrayal of Kat and their very precarious relationship... that shit is never really resolved. And I understand why it wasn’t because it was a huge can of worms and the movie wasn’t as focused on that but damn...

I’m honestly not sure if there were other things I would change. It’s an interesting question. I think I would have liked to see a bit more from Patrick in between when Kat finds out the truth and when she confesses her feelings in the iconic poem. It would have been good to see a bit more of his suffering. Overall tho, even with what they cut or skip over, the feeling from the movie is that it works. It’s so enjoyable to watch and so satisfying and that’s really what I want out of a movie like that. So critique doesn’t come as easily. And I get what you mean about not really considering how eithically moral the actions of the characters are. That’s truly because the aura of the movie is fun and light-hearted. And they follow through on that in every way, especially with the humour. So it doesn’t demand that kind of reflection. But I went darker and more serious with my fic and added sex in the mix so I knew I had to deal with everyone’s actions in a more profound way.

As for any other future Elu AU versions being a betrayal of trust sort of messy situation... yes I could see this. For example, in an exes au, I think it could be very messy. I actually don’t normally like exes au’s so tackling that would be a challenge (it was the same way for friends-to-lovers for me but I ended up loving Punzel). But I think two premises for angst in future au’s would be interesting. One being where either Lucas or Eliott are entirely at fault in a really hard ‘how do we get past this’ way (I don’t mean cheating or something like that... that’s a no-go for me... but that betrayal element just involving much more hurt), and two, an angst premise where the angst comes entirely from an external force and at no time do they doubt they want to be together. 10 Things touches on the betrayal kind of angst but in more depth I think those two angst premises are ones I haven’t really tackled.

Ohhhh man... the question about how I come up with Lucas’s personal trauma in fics like Mood Tattoo and 10 Things. God... I have no idea hahahaha. The way I come up with ideas is legit so random and spontaneous. Like I know some people don’t believe me when I say that because a lot of themes and idea weave through the entire fics in a very intentional way but I have no explanation for that... my brain just kinda works it out 😂. In Mood Tattoo I truly have no memory of how I came up with the idea. I think I was probably coming from the initial idea of having an actual reason for Eliott to be critical of Lucas, and then the power dynamic of Lucas being close with an older surgeon... and then somehow the rest of the fucked-up-ness developed. Usually it happens when I’m out running and daydreaming. For 10 Things I knew I’d use Charles and it would be darker but I also knew I didn’t want it to be exactly like the OG - with Kat sleeping with that version of the guy because she felt pressured and everyone was doing it. For one, I didn’t want it to be a ‘Charles is closeted’ or anything like that. I wanted it to be more like Charles sees sexual conquests as being less than human and only in that way is gender irrelevant. Because it’s about power and domination. It’s about taking and it doesn’t matter who he takes that from. So that just didn’t translate to anything but a brief sexual encounter where Charles ‘takes’ and Lucas though willing, is in a vulnerable state.

10 Things did not take it out of me as a writer the same way other fics have. But each experience has been different. I found 10 Things more difficult simply because I had fallen out of a writing mode. And I don’t like to write unless I really am into doing so because I feel like it will read as laboured. I think my joy when I write does come across in what I write and in the same way, when I am really struggling with a scene and forcing myself to write it - I almost always end up very disatisfied with that scene later and it undergoes a lot of editing work. One thing I have realized in recently tackling my ADHD is that it can be near impossible for me to write when I’m not hyperfixated on it. For all the other fics I was and that’s how I was cracking out 200k stories. For 10 Things my brain had gone elsewhere and it actually wasn’t until I was on some ADHD meds that I was able to complete writing it. That helped me focus and I got a lot of the joy back in writing.

I think I’ve grown and probably changed hugely as a writer in some ways but I also think there is a lot that hasn’t changed. I remember when I started out writing Tempo my main goal was that I just wanted it to be a joy to read - like just really read so easily and just feel fun. And I really felt like I captured that. And that goal has pretty much stayed the same. I’ve struggled more with it as I have written new stories but a lot of that was simply because I worried I’d repeat myself or not create content that was original enough from what I’d already written. So it was a lot of pressure I put on myself. And interacting with readers really was the most inspiring and wonderful thing. It made me really want to put energy into writing and create thoughtful stories with depth. I love so much how readers like yourself analyze and dive into the complexities of the stories, and it makes me want to provide content that is layered. Thankfully I usually do write in a way where I am adding in details or layers I actually never expect readers to pick up on. It just satisfies me to know I’ve connected those threads for myself. But then I’ve had readers notice all those tiny things and it’s the most exciting and amazing thing. So that has driven me to be even more thoughtful with those choices.

I think the only other thing I’d mention in a way I changed - but then didn’t change lol - also has to do with interaction with readers. So back when I was writing for Skamfr and the fandom was more active I of course had interaction with a lot more people and a lot more readers. And while that was obviously wonderful, I did recieve a hell of a lot of terrible messages too. Thankfully for the most part the messages were very overtly hateful and that is extremely easy to dismiss and not have it affect me at all. But messages that were viscious but more specifically critical were a lot harder. I don’t mean fair critique. I have had plenty of that and while I don’t think it’s anything most fic writers are looking for, I’ve had really lovely readers offering critique or just general questions that have made me think about my writing differently and I think I’ve improved as a writer as a result. So yeah, I’m speaking about a different thing when I mention these messages and it did make me a bit nervous or gun-shy when it came to my next stories. With that said... I then got over it quickly, said fuck it, and did what I wanted anyways 😂😂😂. So that’s what I mean by it not changing me. I very much trust my own process and remind myself I’m just doing this for the joy of writing and it’s helped me calm down about the whole thing. Plus the fandom is obviously pretty non-existent now so I’m just left with really lovely readers and that has made the 10 Things experience really lovely.

Omg this truly turned into the longest essay. I’m sorry but also not because you know me and you know this is who I am as a person lmao. And I wanted to give your questions some serious thought and so here we are! I hope I answered all of your questions. I think I did. I will go back and edit this later so apologies for now if I have major typos or anything. Thank you soooooo much for your interest. It really is such a wonderful thing to get to discuss with someone who is actually interested. I’m forever thankful to have you as a reader ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.

#writing things #fanfic things #10 things fic

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birlwrites · 1 year

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Perhaps you could ramble to us about the musician au you posted about a week ago? Goodluck with your assignments/projects!!

OKAY SO

for those of you who don't know, i study western classical music, which means sooner or later i come up with music aus for every fandom i write for. (they tend to remain in tumblr text post format though because i already have so many wips afjslghjdkfd)

i also very much love the juxtaposition of multiple *types* of music which was why my mind immediately jumped to sirius dropping out of his uptight classical-music-ONLY conservatory in favor of a rock band

most of the instruments that i've talked about so far in this au are ones i have some degree of personal experience with (except the violin. i don't understand violin and i never will, i've been informed it takes finger strength and my Distinct Lack Of That And Also Unwillingness To Improve It is part of why i never got very good at guitar) - i don't know a ton about vocal technique for tenors and below but it's similar enough to soprano/mezzo technique that i can fake it ajflshgskdjfd

okay now that all that context is out of the way - LET'S DISCUSS THE MARAUDERS AND MY CONTINUING INDECISION ABOUT WHETHER TO PUT REMUS ON DRUMS AND PETER ON BASS OR THE OTHER WAY AROUND

it's entirely possible i will decide over the course of making this post, we'll see. ANYWAY. so i'm already very sure that the two of them will be on drums and bass in some configuration. less flashy instruments that keep the other ones on track, which mirrors their roles in the friend group

benefits of putting remus on drums include: ba dum tss whenever someone makes a shitty joke, cognitive dissonance of *remus* who you'd probably expect to play a more chill instrument sitting down and picking up drumsticks and just going absolutely wild

benefits of putting peter on drums include: the same kind of cognitive dissonance, he's not as talkative as the rest of them onstage so putting him in the back removes some spotlight and the other three focus more on engaging with the audience, could be persuaded to also do the ba dum tss

benefits of putting remus on bass include: moving him downstage where he can interact more with james and sirius, very tall = long fingers = could probably do a bar chord SUPER easily

benefits of putting peter on bass include: wait okay i've decided afslghsdkfjd I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

okay so i'm going to put peter on drums and remus on bass. both of them are in a position to push the tempo and in general set the pace, peter's in a position where he can hide a little from the audience if he so desires, and we get the cognitive dissonance effect, while downstage, remus hangs back a little from the james-and-sirius banter but jumps in quite frequently with his own sarcastic comments

OKAY THAT'S SORTED. EXCELLENT

lily and sirius suffered through music theory together and are friends for life as a result. she keeps in touch with him and sometimes goes to their shows - the marauders are not super well-known at the moment and they basically just play locally, so this is easy enough

regulus, meanwhile, is in the practice rooms performing feats of insane technical skill with pretty much zero feeling behind them. he's not really sure how he's meant to get *emotion* out of a *piano* so he compensates by working on literally everything else. he'll do all the phrasing correctly but there's still something very blank and rote about it

barty has the opposite problem - his number one worst habit is getting really into whatever he's doing and completely failing to watch the conductor. fortunately he is extremely capable of counting and as a result he gets away with this like 95% of the time (maybe the conductor is professor babbling fjsgkhsdjkfd)

OH MY GOD okay this gives me an idea. if peter's the drummer for the marauders, that naturally opens up the possibility in the plot of him being indisposed for some reason. i don't want him to betray the marauders or anything like that because i don't want to do that to them afjslghdsjf but if regulus and sirius have reconciled and peter happens to get sick or injured, there's a fabulous opportunity for regulus to be like 'hey barty. how quickly could you learn a 15-song setlist' and barty to be like 'regulus what the fuck have you gotten us into. give me a day and a cheat sheet'

i suppose there are non-betrayal reasons that peter might leave the band as well

hmmm now my brain is filling up with ideas about peter's terrible stage fright that he deals with because he wrote a lot of these songs and they need drums and the others really want him to perform with them but he's really *not* getting more comfortable with being onstage and just wants to write songs and work behind the scenes and maybe get into producing, but when he brought up maybe looking for a replacement the others kind of got sad about it and he hasn't really steeled himself to bring it up again and explain that it's not that he doesn't want to be part of the band, it's that he doesn't like performing live

then he comes down with the flu and it's not *bad* but he's in no shape to perform, regulus gets wind of this and is like 'hmmmm'

and barty subs in and it goes fabulously well and peter goes 'PLEASE make this permanent and let me write you songs full time' and the marauders have a looooong conversation about that and then ask barty to perform with them

barty, obviously, being a full-time student at Uptight Conservatory™ and also genuinely enjoying being in the orchestra and not wanting to drop out, will be under some time pressure because of this - peter sends him a lot of recordings for memorization purposes

and now regulus HAS to go to all their gigs MWAHAHAHA

goodness gracious i think this post is long enough jaflhsjkfdf

#should i make an inbox tag #musician au

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ex-komunikado · 1 year

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Tumblr I’m back!!!

I’m back here because I haven’t been writing for quite a while now and I need a social media where I can dump all of my frustrations again, therapist whomtsvefaskaskaks jk. Anyways, I was looking back at my past posts here since 2016 and my high school friends and batch mates were really shitty!!! I have no idea how I managed to push through high school with these nasty ass people. I don’t hang out with them anymore! Best decision of my life, but looking back I want to cry, I never really had friends in high school like real actual friends that didn’t bully me, that didn’t speak ill of me, I only had tumblr back then, that’s super sad if you look at from the outside lol but I swear people in high school are mean, they are not nice. They all did that huhu I hate that I was still friends with them until last year, also wow me, I was so strong in JHS having the most toxic people around me and defying them huhu college me could never do that again. I’d just transfer school because bantering and defending myself would take up a lot of energy. Now I’m back here and I’m not even that frustrated with life anymore. I have real friends now huhu proud na ba kayo sakin, SHS best times. Also meeting new ones in this new univ, I transferred schools, hoping this is the best decision of my life?? lol malabo but I hope I get something from this. PUP is just really bad for my mental health. As in sobra, it triggered my panic attacks, it gives me so much anxiety and it still triggers me a lot until now. Just seeing the facade makes me want to faint each time I go there. When I was in first year I had my first panic attack because of PUP, and every time I go there and talk to the admin, my chest would close up and I’d be lightheaded and I’d always need weeks to recover, now na ftf na I don’t think na kaya ko pa which is why I transferred. Lagi ako magpapasama sa boyfriend ko when going there because I really can never stand that going to that school alone, but I met the best people and profs there! And now niromanticize ko na talaga kada punta ko sa bagong school which is NTC, kahit paglakad ko muna Legarda hanggang Quiapo, niroromanticize ko na so I won’t get panic attacks unlike what I had with pup. Even pag present sa class I’d romanticize so I don’t feel like fainting or my chest closing up and having a hard time to breathe each time I go there. Huhu ready for where life takes me and whatever the universe has in store for me this year.

#personal #random

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jashne-bahaaraa · 3 years

Text

ahh

#it's 3:48 am but i need to get this out of my chest or else i'll won't be able to sleep #i just finished watching the 1st ep of i told sunset about you and i have so many thoughts #don't read further if you don't want spoilers lmaoooo #idek where to begin #man teh's such an idiot he reminds me of myself in a way??? he's so mean sometimes???? but i'm glad they both made up #gosh he shouldn't have said that to oh #i was like 'it's fine they're kids and kids say mean stuff to each other sometimes' when i heard him say that to oh but oh was a kid too????#ahhh my heart broke every time i saw oh cry tho #AND THE EXAM RESULT #why was i so nervous lol #istg i got flashbacks of my exam results lol oh is me when i'm checking my results i deadass cover my phone with my hand and slowly move it #abd when he didn't get in I FELT THAT #when he crying i was crying too #it just hit hard lol #and at the end when oh said that he was really hurt and put pressure on himself :(( i wanted to give him a hug so bad #AND i love the beginning and the ending of the ep so much????#AND I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SCREAM WHEN OH SAID KE YI AT THE END #this drama is 💯💯💯#only the first ep and i'm feeling Things already #also why do i have a feeling that bas is going to do something shitty???? idk it's a feeling i hope it's not true #i think he likes oh? like romantically?? and so he'd try to do smth to tear them apart or whatever #ahhh idk idk i can't wait to watch the next ep tomorrow tho AHHHHHHH #i'll try to finish my slides asap #man the end of the ep made me feel so nostalgic and emotional??? it doesn't even make sense #gosh when they were at the beach and apologising and crying and ahhhhh #yk how teh's a lil shit sometimes??? reminds me of myself lol #and poor oh :((#when he said he put a lot of pressure on himself my heart broke poor bby he didn't deserve that #i'm really glad they made up tho #personal

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libraryofloveletters · 3 years

Text

Just A Phase

Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, typical high school nonsense, kinda rude behaviour at first meet, mentions of weed/alcohol and the consumption of, typical cocky jock behaviour, few swear words, being tipsy/drunk

Category: fluff and a little angst

Word Count: 5.4k

Author’s Note: I just started writing and this is where I ended up so yeah also I feel like I haven’t written in a million years, forgive me if this is shitty // I referred to Buck as Evan for the first little bit because he and the reader had been introduced yet. // thank you to my darling @floralbuckleys for their help!

----

Senior Year Of High School.

Evan Buckley, certified jock and bad boy.

He was the type of guy that only had a soft spot for you, but you didn’t know that yet. Truthfully he wasn’t a mean guy - people just perceived him that way because he was on the football team and popular. He had somewhat of a troublesome reputation.

People knew where he went, trouble followed.

You, on the other hand, came from a somewhat above average family. Your mom’s a nurse and dad’s a lawyer. They always had big hopes and dreams for you, for you to go off to Harvard in the fall and follow in your father’s footsteps but you didn’t want that.

You dreamt of being a writer - you couldn't bring yourself to tell your parents that. Since you were young, they had instilled “you’re going to go to Harvard” in you.

You couldn’t back out now.

See, high school worked a certain way. You kept to your circles and didn’t mingle with those that didn’t fit into your circle. You and Evan didn’t run in the same circle - he was a troublesome jock and you were a smart preppy girl.

Being the preppy kid meant volunteering where you could to bulk up your college application hence why you were at school on a Friday afternoon, waiting for the kids to show up. You were part of some tutor program that your chemistry teacher put you into.

It was mostly just kids that needed some clarification on their work and the occasional jock that needed to pass a course to stay on the team.

You weren't surprised when a group of noisy jocks stumbled in the study hall, reeking of sweat from practice.

You were surprised to see Evan, he hadn't been in there before.

“Settle down boys” Mrs. Jacobs told them before sending each guy off to a tutor, leaving Evan standing beside her. “You can head over to y/n” she pointed at you, you gave him a small smile when you glanced up. He looked unpleasant, like he didn’t want to be there.

He made his way over nonetheless. “Good afternoon” you say quietly, unsure if he heard you. He grumbles a hello as he sits down.

The first few minutes, it was quiet. He sat there flipping through his textbook and scribbling down answers into the notebook in front of him.

“Is there anything I can help you-” “I'm not stupid.”

You glance at him, eyes catching his blue ones looking back at you. “I never said you were.”

“I'm only here because I didn’t turn in my mid term project and now stupid Mr. Jefferson thinks I don't understand this shit” he explains himself.

You hum, glancing down at the notebook in front of him, pulling it towards you. Reading over the sheet, all the answers were right. A hum of satisfaction slips pass your lips as you slide the notebook back over to him.

“Not just another dumb jock then.” your eyes study his face after the statement. His lips curl into a small smile, a hum as he turns his attention back to his paper.

“So prep life must be dull - no parties, all study.”

“Who says prep kids don't party ?”

He chuckles, “maybe the lack of prep kids at the parties.” “I’ll have you know, I party plenty, Evan.”

Once again, he chuckles. “The phrasing of that statement shows that you clearly don’t- but call me Buck, all the guys do.” he slides the notebook over to you.

“Check this over, I'll be back” you watched as he stepped out of the study hall and disappeared into the hallway.

A few minutes pass by, you’re tired and in need of a nap but you blink away the tiredness to read his work. There’s a voice behind you and then you feel something heavy on your chair. Leaning back to figure out what it was, the back of your head hit something hard. You shift in your seat and look up to see your head has hit Buck’s torso.

“How's the work, peach ?” his voice is low, the drop in octave from before causes butterflies in your stomach.

Your brows furrow at the nickname, he noticed your confusion and glances down at your top and your eyes follow his only to see that your peach colour bra was sticking out from the top of your shirt.

You had stretched back into your seat when he stepped out and you hadn't noticed the shift in your clothing.

Pulling the top of your shirt back up, he smiles and returns to his seat. You clear your throat, head down and eyes on the work in front of you as you could feel the blush on your face.

“Um, the work is fine.”

“Do you have plans tonight ?”

“No, why?”

“Come with me to Johnson’s party, you can show me how prep kids party” he smiles, his words are teasing you- taunting you even. “I would, but my parents are out of town so I don’t have the car and I have to watch the house.”

“The house won’t disappear if you’re gone for a few hours and I'll pick you up then. What’s your address ?”

“Buck, I really shouldn't”

“Y/n, come on. Pull the stick out your ass for one night and enjoy senior year. You can go back to Harvard prep tomorrow.”

His word choice doesn't shock you, it’s quite on brand for him. He’s looking at you, waiting for your answer and you can't help but give in.

Taking the pen from him, you scribble your address and number on his notebook. “See you at 7?” picking your bag up before slinging it over your shoulder.

“7? Peach, the party doesn’t start ‘till 9. I’ll pick you up at 10:30.”

“Oh um- okay.” you hum, confused but you agree anyways.

---

10:45 and you were sitting on your couch, glancing at your phone and back to the window.

You had been stood up once before but to be stood up by a jock, and a popular one ? Will be the death of any social life you had.

Finally there’s a knock on your door and you get up a little faster than you would have liked but you make your way over. Pulling it open, you met with Buck.

“Ready ?”

“Sure, let me grab my phone” you leave the door open, stepping back to the couch. Buck had disappeared from the doorway when you returned, you locked up and followed what looked like headlights to the driveway.

Buck sat on his bike, he scoots forwards a bit before patting the space behind him.

“No.” you mumble.

“What ?”

“I’m not getting on that thing.”

“That thing ? I'm offended. Come on, you’ll be fine.”

“Evan, no.”

Buck gets up, making his way over to you. His hands grab yours, looking at you now. “Y/n, I promise you that you’ll be fine. Can we go now ?”

“I’ll kill you if something happens to you” you grumbled as you reluctantly made your way over to the bike. Buck gets on first, you mirror his actions. Your hands were to your side, Buck reached back and wrapped them around his waist.

“You good back there ?”

“As good as I could be.”

The house, who you assumed belonged to Johnson’s parents, (you had no idea who Johnson was because you barely ever went to the football games) reeked of alcohol and weed.

Your face didn’t hide your displeasure as well as you thought it had. Buck chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder.

“So is this what you do ?” you shout over the loud music, Buck was saying hello to someone he knew and wasn't paying attention to what you had asked him.

You manage to wiggle your way out of his grip and find your way to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later that Buck finds you sipping on a beer.

“You drink ?” he gives you a questionable look with a smile on his face.

“You brought me to a party so I'll do what people do at a party” you hum, leaning back against the counter. He finds his way to you, leaning back against the counter too.

“Enjoying the party ?”

“Not really, you kinda left me to talk to some guy for twenty minutes”

“That guy happens to be our star quarterback.”

“I care why?” you glance up at him. Buck’s face is pure amusement, you aren't sure if you’re the cause of that or something else but the way he's looking at you- you can feel the butterflies again.

“Buck!” a group of guys shout as they make their way into the kitchen. They all say hello to him, some are drinking, some are shoving chips into their mouths.

You stay quiet while Buck talks to them and judging by their varsity jackets, it was safe to assume that they were on the team with Buck.

“Who’s your friend ?” a brunette guy asks him, stepping towards you.

“I’m y/n, you are?” you ask before Buck could.

“Mike, call me Johnson.”

“Oh, so this is your place ? Cute house” you give him a smile, he laughs.

“How do you know Buck?” Johnson asks, he was nosy for a drunk guy.

“Just bumped into each other, we have class together” you lie, not sure if Buck wanted them to know how you really met, Buck gives you a small smile.

“You’re pretty, how about a dance ?” his hand grabs yours.

“Thanks but no thanks” you give a polite smile before pulling your hand away.

Johnson takes a step forward, his hand reaching out and grabbing your hip. “C’mon, dance with me” you could smell the alcohol on him- he reeked. You push his hand off, “I said no thank you” you tell him once more, being ever so polite.

“Y/n, c’mon, one dance baby” he takes another step, he’s now face to face with you. Before you could say anything, Buck is in front of you, between you and Johnson.

“Dude, she said no. Leave her alone.”

Buck’s sudden need to protect you was much appreciated. Usually if a guy did that, especially a jock, you’d be weird out because they never pay attention to you- but Buck, you had this indescribable feeling, pride, satisfaction, maybe even relief ?

“She’s not even your girl, why are you protecting her?”

“Doesn’t matter, she said no so get out of her fucking face.” Buck’s hand was against his chest, pushing him away as his other hand reached back for yours. It would be cheesy to say that your hand fit in his like it was made to be there but it was true.

Buck’s hand was still in yours as he pulled you out the back door. Your back was up against the wall as he stood in front of you.

“Are you okay ?” you could hear the concern in his voice - different from his usual tone.

At a loss for words, his eyes study your face. Johnson was a douche and he knew that, he mentally cursed himself for even bringing you here.

“Y/n.. talk to me” he takes a step towards you.

“Buck,” your hand presses against his chest, “I'm fine. It’s not the first time a drunk guy has hit on me”

A breath of relief slipped past his lips, “do you want to leave?” his face softens when he asks. “No, I'm alright.”

“Stay here, I'll be back” his hand comes down and squeezes your waist gently before he steps back into the house.

It was a while before Buck returned. He had disappeared into the house for half an hour and when he returned, you were by the pool with a pingpong ball in hand.

“Suck it!” your loud laugh filled his ears, you took a sip from the red cup in your hand and you watched as the guy across from you drank the beer in the cup that the ball landed in.

“Looks like you’re having fun” Buck smiles, now beside you.

“Hey!” you reeked of beer at this point. “I’m having fun” your words come out in a slurred mumble.

“Mhm okay, I think it’s time to head home” Buck takes the cup from you and sets it down.

“What ?” Your hand reaches for the cup again, a pout evident on your face.

Buck’s hands finds your waist, hoisting you up and over his shoulder. A louder than expected gasp left your mouth, you felt the cold breeze against your legs as he walked towards the front of the yard.

He put you down in the backseat of a car but you knew you came with his bike so you were confused, just as you go to ask, he scoots you over and gets in the back with you. Buck’s arm is over your shoulder, you’re so tired that you just lean into him.

You had noticed you fell asleep and when you woke, you were on the porch swing at your house with Buck’s hand in your pocket.

“Whatcha looking for?” he glances up at you when he hears your voice.

“Keys.”

“Other pocket”

He manages to find the keys and get the door open. Getting you in the house was another story. “Y/n, come on” he pulls your hands in an attempt to get you up but you weren’t budging.

What happened to you being a prep kid and not drinking ? He didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk that fast.

“No, tired” you mumbles, making yourself comfortable on the porch swing. “Do you want your parents to come home and find you here? I’m cool with leaving you here if that’s the case” Buck teased, he had no idea when your parents were coming home.

The mention of your parents finding you outside, drunk, horrified you. You got up so quick, you nearly toppled over. Buck helped you inside and onto the couch. He disappeared for a moment and then returned with a glass of water.

“Small sips” he settles beside you, watching as you take a sip. You hum, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm comes over your shoulder.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

He felt your head shift, now looking up at him, eyes full of sleep. You were studying his face, from the birthmark above his eye to his pink lips.

“I really like you, you know” your words filled with sleep as your eyes drooped, you blinked a few times, forcing yourself to stay awake.

Buck chuckles, “that’ll pass peach, I’m just a phase.” He hummed quietly, fingers running through your hair as you drift to sleep.

The Monday after the party, you saw Buck in the hallway after waking up to an empty house on the couch, head pounding even in the deafening silence and and you can’t quite remember how you got home.

Buck had been radio silence since then but you weren't sure why. He was walking in from the front doors and you were by your locker. You turn to speak to him but he barely glances at you before continuing his conversation with Johnson.

From that day, you never spoke to Buck again. Last you saw him was graduation day and last you had heard was that he was in college and you were headed off to Harvard.

----

Present.

You had become a big shot lawyer, everything your parents wanted. Moved out to LA to start your own firm and everything was going well until this morning.

You had barely walked into the office when the fire alarm went off. The sudden alarm caused an onset of commotion in the office, the woman next to you bumped into you, spilling your hot cup of coffee onto you.

She mumbled a sorry as she passed but you could feel the heat coming from where the liquid had spilt. Nonetheless, you made your way out, the sound of the sirens from fire trucks blaring.

Not that you didn’t enjoy seeing the handsome firefighters (or so your co-workers seem to say) but you had a ton of paperwork to do for an upcoming case you had and you barely started.

You stood by the curb, watching as the firefighters made their way over to the crowd and into the building to clear it.

“Ma'am ?” A firefighter made his way over to you, there was a helmet in his hand as he passed a hand through his hair. You glance up from your phone, to see what he wanted.

“May I take a look?” his eyes shifted to your chest where there is currently a coffee stain on your white shirt. “Oh, thank you but no. I’m fine”

“Are you sure? Because that’ll leave a pretty nasty mark if you don't get it cleaned. If you aren’t comfortable, we have a female medic” he offered, hoping you’d consider.

“You’re a medic ?” you asked, looking him up and down. He nods, taking a step back. He begins walking back to the ambulance and you follow him. “Do you want me to get her?”

“No, you’re a professional, it’s cool” you give him a small smile before moving your shirt so he could check.

The firefighter’s hand was now right under your collarbone, dabbing at your skin with some gauze. His fingers were cold, you weren’t sure if it was actually his fingers or the gloves that were cold but either way you looked at him.

“What’s your name ?”

“Diaz, Eddie Diaz” he tells you, flashing you a smile before going back to his job.

You hum, staying still as Eddie rubs something on your skin.

That’s when you saw him.

The same blue eyes, the same blonde hair, the same gorgeous smile that always played in your mind. Not a day went by that you didn’t think of him. You had always wondered what he ended up doing, he was smart and destined for great things, there was more for him than a small life in a place where no one ever really did anything.

Every guy you had dated, you compared to him. It was always something- they didn’t look like him, they didn’t act like him, they didn’t treat you the way he did, they wouldn't stand up for you like he did.

He lived rent free in your mind.

“Ma'am?” Eddie’s voice broke your gaze. “Y/n,” you corrected him, “ma’am is for old women” your eyes going back to Buck. Eddie noticed your lack of attention and followed your gaze.

“Do you know Buck?”

“He still lets people call him that ?” you chuckle to yourself, feeling Eddie’s eyes burning a hole into you.

Before you could answer, his radio buzzed before a voice came through, “building’s clear. Start directing people back in.” Eddie looks over at you, you’re already getting out of the ambulance.

“Keep that clean and dry” were his last words to you after you left.

---

It wasn’t until you were back in the building that you realized your phone was in the ambulance.

You were majorly screwed.

Remembering the medic’s name which was the only thing you remember mids the confusion and seeing Buck after 10+ years. You asked around the office if anyone knew what station responded to the call. You had contacts that worked for the city but the lack of phone made it hard for you to call and find out.

Finally giving in, you google the medic’s name. There were a few articles that had photos but none of them said anything that helped. There was a video from Taylor Kelly at channel 8 news, some sort of video about the fire station.

Station 118- that was 10 minutes down the road and you pass it everyday on the way to work. The thoughts began filling your head, had Buck been there all along?

12 years- 12 long, empty years that you acted like he didn’t exist and that you didn’t want to know what happened between you two but he was right down the road.

You didn’t even know if you wanted to talk to him. You had finally come to peace with it even though a part of you will always long for what could have been. Feelings aside, you set out to the station to get your phone.

Upon arriving, there were a few guys by the trucks. You asked for Eddie, assuming that he might have an idea of where your phone ended up or if they even found it.

“Up the stairs and he should be somewhere up there” the guy pointed, you thanked him before heading towards the stairs. When you got upstairs, it was empty.

You weren't sure if you should go back down or wait so you sort of awkwardly stood there, glancing around the room. The station was nicer than you had imagined it to be, not that you really had an idea of what to expect.

Your back was to the kitchen when someone tapped your shoulder. “Can I help you?” his voice called out as you turned.

Buck.

You let out a breath, your eyes studying his perfect face for a moment. Do you say something or just pretend like you didn’t know him?

“Yeah, I'm uh- I'm looking for Eddie. I think I left my phone in the ambulance.”

“Do I know you from somewhere ?”

“I work at the building down the road, 14th street. You guys were there earlier, hence the phone in the ambulance” you tell him, hoping he drops the topic.

“Y/n! Hey! What are you doing here?” You see Eddie call from behind Buck.

Thank god.

“I left my phone in the ambulance. I figured you’d know what happened to it” you’ve stepped past Buck and towards Eddie now. “I haven’t seen it, but maybe it’s still in there. Come with me, we can check for it”

Eddie was making his way down the stairs and you were behind him when Buck called your name.

Not y/n.

Peach.

You paused, taking a deep breath in before turning to face him. “I thought I remembered you from somewhere” he smiled, him and his stupid smile.

“I’m in a rush, Evan. Plus, I'm not in the mood to reminisce.”

The smile dropped from his face, the guilt crept up on you. The feeling of your stomach twisting, sighing before making your way down to Eddie who was by the ambulance, your phone in hand.

“There’s more to the story than I thought,” Eddie hands the phone over, you give him a hum and thank him. “Let me walk you out.” he follows you out to your car.

“You know, whatever he did- he’s changed. He’s a good guy.” Eddie says, his voice sincere.

“I know, I just- I don't know”

“What did he do? If I can ask”

“We were- I don't know what we were. We hung out in high school, just once but he was different from the other guys. He genuinely cared. We went to a party together and he brought me home after. I remember falling asleep with him in the house and the next morning he was gone. Total radio silence that whole weekend and when I saw him at school the following week, he acted like he didn’t know me - it was like that for the rest of senior year. We never spoke after that.”

Here you were pouring your heart out to a firefighter who you had only met an hour ago who also had seen your bare chest (in a professional way, of course) on a Tuesday morning in the parking lot.

“Wow- I can see why you wouldn’t want to talk to him.”

“Yeah, thank you for the phone though. I gotta get back to work”

“Wait, let me get your number”

You pause, looking at him with furrowed brows. He seemed confused then he realized how that sounded. “Oh god- no not like that, sorry. I meant maybe we could grab a drink sometimes, as friends and maybe you could tell me more about high school Buck ?”

“Um- yes to the number and drinks but I don’t know about Buck” you hand the phone back over to him, telling him that you’d text him.

---

It was a while before you heard from Eddie, he said he was off on Saturday if you were up for drinks and weren't busy. The whole team was going out but he invited you along to join them.

After some back and forth “I couldn't intrude” and “you won’t be, come join us” you finally gave in.

Now it’s 9pm and you, Eddie and Buck are sitting at a booth. Coincidentally, everyone else was busy. Chimney and Hen who you hadn’t met yet, were with their significant others and kids. So that left the 3 of you together.

You wanted to walk back out when you saw it was only the two of them but Eddie had seen you and called you over. His phone buzzed just as Buck came back with drinks.

“Everything okay?” Buck asked his friend, Eddie, still typing away on his phone. “Huh? Yeah, it’s Carla. Chris is running a fever” you could hear the concern in his voice.

“Chris is your son?”

“Yeah- I'm sorry I got to go. I’ll make it up to you. Drinks on me another night” Eddie gave your shoulder a squeeze as he stood.

“No yeah, of course. Go, it’s fine” you smiled.

“Let me know if you need anything” Buck shifts towards Eddie, the two of them seem to have some sort of routine or way of how things work between them.

And now there were two.

Buck sipped on his beer, you sat across from him, your nails tapping against the bottle in front of you. He was the first one to speak.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Good too. I don’t know if you remember my sister but she had a baby recently so I've been hanging out with her after work”

“Oh, that’s nice. Maddie right?”

“Yeah, she had a little girl. She’s the cutest little girl ever.” Buck pulls his phone out, showing you a photo of him holding a baby in a blanket with a brunette beside him. The woman beside him, Maddie you assumed, was smiling at Buck, fixing the blanket while he looked at the camera, the joy evident on his face.

“She’s adorable and your sister looks the same, she hasn’t aged a day” you hum, passing the phone over to him.

Back to awkward silence.

“What happened to us?” Buck’s question catches you off guard.

“What happened to us? You happened.”

“What? I thought we were friends.” Your eyes met, his full of confusion and yours with displeasure.

“Friends don’t disappear in the middle of the night with no explanation and ignore them for the rest of senior year.” You get up, grab your phone and make your way to the door. Buck’s calling out to you but you don’t want to stop and talk to him.

The night was cold, the wind hit your bare shoulders and you shivered for a moment before walking. Buck was still calling out your name, he had followed you out the bar.

“Y/n! Stop! Y/n, c’mon. Please!” His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You pull your hand back.

“No! You don’t get to do that. Act like everything is fine when you disappeared with no explanation. I know we weren’t best friends but I thought we were at least friends. That fucking hurt, Evan.”

“Fine,” he sighs, looking at you. “You want the truth ?” Your brows raised, waiting for him to continue.

“You told me you liked me. You were a good kid, going to Harvard, which you obviously did” gesturing at you, he continued. “I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to be by my side until I figured it out. I knew you would resent me for that and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t do it to myself.”

“That’s selfish. It’s about you ? That’s why you left with no explanation ? You couldn’t do it to yourself ? Man the fuck up Buck, life isn’t about you.”

“You think I don’t know that ?! You think I didn’t think about you all the time? That I didn’t miss you?”

“Don’t start with that shit. You knew where I would be. You said it yourself, I was “a good kid, going to Harvard” so if you really missed me, you could have found me.”

“Y/n, be real. We were just out of high school, what means did I have to go searching for you? I had my own shit to deal with.”

“Just stop, I don’t even want to know.”

“No, you stop”

“No you.”

“Y/n” his voice was stern, the annoyance clearly there.

“Evan.” your tone matched his.

That stupid smug smile of his was on his face, that was enough to make you roll your eyes. “’Kay, I'm over your shit.” turning away from him, you go to walk away but his hand grabs yours.

Still fit like it was made to be there.

Before you could register what was happening, Buck’s lips were on yours. Maybe time stopped when Buck’s lips met yours but your heart didn’t- it felt like it was beating a million times seconds and the butterflies in your stomach were restless.

It wasn't clear to either of you at the moment that it had started pouring rain but it didn’t matter. There was this raw emotion in the way his hands felt on your waist or how his chest was pressed to yours.

Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t open his eyes slightly, sneaking a guilty peek at you just to make sure you weren’t a fiction of his imagination. Every breath he took smelt of lavender and honey, the same scent that had lingered on his mind since the day he met you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible.

Maybe this was meant to be, fate bringing back what was meant for him to him or maybe this really was all a fabrication of his imagination but he wanted to live in his moment forever.

It wasn't until thunder rumbled that he pulled away. The rain had soaked your clothes and hair, your makeup had smudged and half of your lipstick was on Buck.

The same stupid smug smile on his face.

“God,” rolling your eyes at him. “You’re so annoying.” wiping your lips with the back on your hand, hoping that you got all the lipstick off.

“Yeah, I'm the annoying one” Buck’s face twisted, giving you a playful shove as you stepped towards him. Your thumb comes up to wipe the lipstick off him. Buck’s arm lifts, now over your shoulder.

The two of you looked at each other as you made your way down the street.

“Just a phase huh ?” you hum, glancing at Buck.

The blonde let out a chuckle, “maybe not.”

---

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marauderundercover · 2 years

Text

A Guide to Love and Coffee in the City of Crime: Ch. 3

Somewhere Only We Know

AO3

Conner glares at his best friend as they drive away from the airport in Metropolis. Apparently, despite the fact that both he and Clark had told Marinette repeatedly not to fly straight to Gotham, she hadn’t listened. But she hadn’t thought to say anything until after her plane landed, which meant she was stuck at the airport waiting for them to get there. Which meant he got to ride in a truck for almost an hour with his best friend…who was apparently in love with his baby cousin.

“Don’t give me that look, Kon.” Tim says. Conner huffs.

“I’ll give you whatever look I wanna give you.” He grumbles. Tim rolls his eyes

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad.” He says. “It’s not like I woke up and said ‘hmm, how can I ruin my friendship with Conner today?’ Marinette’s just-”

“Important. To a lot of people. She’s basically my little sister, Tim. Why her?” Conner asks, frowning. Tim bites his lip, eyebrows furrowed. Conner recognized it as his ‘this is a case that I’m having trouble solving’ face. It didn’t make him feel better.

“Look man, I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I don’t know why I like her.” Tim says, shrugging helplessly before sighing. “But, I do know that you are my best friend. So if you really don’t want me to let her know I like her like that, I won’t.” Conner groans.

“Now if I tell you no, I look like the bad guy.” He says. Tim raises an eyebrow.

“There is, quite literally, no one here but us.” He says. Conner rolls his eyes.

“Obviously, but Marinette will find out. She always finds out.” Conner says ominously. Tim snorts, shaking his head.

“Yeah, you’re not gonna scare me off that easily.” He says. Conner grins.

“I’m not trying to scare you. If I was trying to scare you, I’d remind you that Clark is her Uncle and has known her since she was just a dot on a shitty picture.” He says. Tim’s eyes widen slightly and Conner snorts. He knew that Tim was a good guy, (he also knew if Marinette knew that he was having this talk with Tim she’d kill him), but sometimes it was hard to look at Marinette and not see the five year old kid he’d met so long ago.

***

Something Marinette wishes she would have thought of, was the probability of an attack on the Gotham airport. She definitely knew that it was a possibility. How could she not? Her uncle told her again and again not to fly into Gotham. That she should fly into Metropolis and then just commute. And now she was going to have to listen to him say ‘I told you so’. Frowning at the man monologuing in front of the terrified crowd, she tries to place him. A burlap sack mask. A pointy hat. Farm clothes? If it weren’t for the fact that literally everyone else looked terrified at the sight of the man, Marinette might laugh. His costume was almost as bad as Gigantitan.

“I hope you’re all ready! This new batch is…quite strong.” The man cackles, and that’s when it clicks. Scarecrow. If she didn’t have a bright pink cast on her hand, she might face palm. His costume was clear enough (despite its rough appearance, he was quite clearly a scarecrow). Marinette tenses, waiting for him to move and attempt to inject someone. She wasn’t exactly going to volunteer, but she did want to try and help however she could. But as she hears the screaming start, she realizes: it’s gas.

***

“Shit.” Tim says. Conner glances over, frowning.

“What happened?” He asks, noticing his friend’s phone going crazy.

“Scarecrow attack.” He says. “At Gotham Airport.” Conner’s eyes widen and he presses down on the accelerator. “Kon, slow down! You can’t help her if your truck crashes.” Conner grits his teeth, but lets his foot off the accelerator.

“Your city sucks, man.” Conner says, working hard to make sure he doesn’t accidentally break the steering wheel. Tim huffs.

“It’s not that bad.” He tries to argue. Conner looks at him incredulously.

“Tim, my cousin has been in Gotham for less than an hour and she’s already at the site of a rogue attack.” He says, anxiety creeping up. “Bats on his way?” He asks. Tim rolls his eyes.

“Of course he’s on the way. Reports are saying that the gas is a new strain, so he’ll need to adjust the antidote again.” Tim rambles on, typing rapidly on his phone. Conner’s stomach sinks.

“What’re the odds she found a place to hide where the gas won’t reach her?” He asks. Tim winces, and Conner’s shoulders drop as the feeling of failure weighs heavily on him. He couldn’t even pick her up from the airport safely. Deciding to use Tim’s distraction, Conner presses down a little more on the accelerator. His truck could handle it, and he needed to save his little sister.

---

Marinette’s hands shake as she sees the carnage around her. Her parent’s bakery was complete ash and her stomach flips when she sees her maman’s wedding ring in the rubble. They’d been inside.

“Ah, Miss Dupain-Cheng, do you see what happens when you try to outsmart me?” Hawkmoth asks, a snarl on his face. Marinette’s eyes widen as she steps back, eyes scanning her surroundings to try and find something to help her. She wasn’t transformed, so she couldn’t- holding her hand out again, Marinette’s eyes widen. When did she have time to transform? How did he figure out her identity?

“You’re not going to win this.” She says firmly. Hawkmoth throws his head back, a loud cackle chilling her to the bone.

“Oh Ladybug, I already have.” He says. She blinks, then gasps in pain as Chat Blanc appears from nowhere, slashing at her arm. Marinette stumbles backwards, shaking her head.

“No, no this can’t be happening.” She says, yelping and ducking as Blanc tries to throw a cataclysm at her.

“Oh but it is M’Lady.” Blanc says, a large, twisted grin covering his face.

“It can’t! You already know, you-” She stops, her mind clearing slightly. “This is all fake.” She says.

“What was that?” A blob asks, appearing behind Hawkmoth. Marinette blinks again, trying to force herself to see what’s actually there.

“This is fake! It’s not real!” She yells, trying hard to push down the impending anxiety attack she can feel creeping up. The blob starts to come into focus, enough that she can see the burlap.

“Hmm. Interesting. It seems you have some sort of resistance. Care to stand still so that we can give you a little more?” Scarecrow asks. Marinette scoffs.

“Not a freaking chance.” She says, lunging forward and landing a hard hit on his face.

“Stupid girl!” He screams, stumbling. Marinette has to pause, wait for the blob to stop wavering so much. The second he’s back into focus, she throws another hit, the sickening crack that follows does little to stop her. Instead, she spins and manages to land a kick on Scarecrow’s head. The blob wobbles as it melts into a puddle on the ground. She lets out a shaky breath, the panic that had arrived with the adrenaline rush creeping back up. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a blob approach.

“Don’t move any closer.” She says, whirling around and facing whoever, or whatever it is. She blinks rapidly, tears of frustration popping into her eyes as she tries to make out who it is. Blinking, she gasps as the only thing that comes into focus is the gun in the blob’s hands. Immediately, she launches herself at the blob, screaming in frustration as she tries to disarm them.

“Stop!” The blob yells. She huffs.

“What, and let you shoot me?” She screams back.

“You can actually hear me?” The blob asks. She scoffs.

“No, I’m on the phone- yes I can hear you.” She snarks. The blob laughs, and she lets her shaky fists fall slightly. “You’re not gonna shoot me, are you?” She asks, still struggling to see the blob.

“‘Course not. It’s not really my style to shoot kids.” He says. Marinette frowns, trying to place the pieces together to figure out who exactly is in front of her.

“Red Hood?” She asks. The blob snorts.

“Good job, kiddo.” It- Red hood- says. Marinette grins, overly aware of her heart beating in her head- her ears throbbing with every beat of her heart. Taking a shaky breath, she sticks out her hands, trying to lower herself to the ground. “Whatchya doing kid?” Red Hood asks.

“Well, trying not to focus on the fact that I’m currently having a panic attack.” She says, slightly breathless. “Also, very tired suddenly, so I’m just gonna stay here.” She says, pulling her knees up to her chest and laying her head on them. She just needed a little nap.

---

Conner’s heart stops as he runs up to the airport, spotting Marinette unconscious on a stretcher. His eyes immediately find Jason, in his Red Hood gear, standing next to her. Conner raises an eyebrow, hoping he gets the message.

“She’s fine. She tired herself out punching the hell out of Scarecrow. Broke her cast and probably delayed any healing she had on that hand.” Jason says lowly. Conner huffs, relief flooding through him. He could wait to see her closer, as long as he knew she was okay.

“Don’t- run away- like that- again.” Tim huffs, glaring at him. The police blockade had meant that they’d been forced to park quite far from the actual airport. Running that was no problem for Conner, and usually Tim would be fine too, but for some reason, he’d decided to carry the too-big sign Jon had made and the box of cookies Lois had sent (Jimmy had made them for Marinette when he heard she was in town).

“Why’d you bring the stuff?” Conner asks, quirking an eyebrow. Tim glares at him.

“So that we could greet her properly despite the madness.” He says. Conner snorts, shaking his head towards the stretcher.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna work lover boy.” Conner teases. Tim’s face reddens, but then drops into a frown.

“What happened to her?” He asks, looking at her intently.

“Apparently she punched Scarecrow and broke the cast and rebroke her hand.” Conner says. Tim blinks.

“Really?” He asks. Conner nods.

“Yeah. She can hit pretty hard. Y’know, if the person is normal.” He says. Conner’s eyes narrow in on Marinette as he hears her heart and her breathing pick up. Shoving past the police officers and leaving Tim to apologize for him, he makes it to Marinette’s side just as she wakes up. She blinks at him, smiling sheepishly.

“Oops?” She says. Conner huffs.

“Next time Clark and I say ‘hey, this is dangerous’, maybe don’t do it.” He says. Marinette deflates slightly, instantly making him feel bad. Sighing, he opens his arms. She grins, wrapping her arms around him. He pretends not to notice when his shirt gets a little damp. That’s what big brothers are for, after all.

“I think you should be able to go, if you want your friend here to take you to the hospital instead of the ambulance.” Jason tells Marinette. She frowns.

“Really? I don’t have to give a statement or anything?” She asks. He snorts.

“God no. It was a mass attack, we’ll get statements from someone who doesn’t need to get their hand fixed.” He says. Marinette frowns, glancing down at her cast and wincing.

“I’m never gonna get out of this stupid thing.” She complains, practically glaring at the cast. Conner snorts. Good thing she doesn’t have heat vision, or she totally would have burned off her hand.

“C’mon kid. Tim and I will take you to the hospital.” Conner says, helping her off the stretcher.

“Tim? He still came?” She asks with a blinding smile. Conner nods towards the watching crowd where Tim was standing, obviously trying to hold up the sign without dropping the cookies. Marinette laughs softly, immediately running over to him.

“How long til he asks her out?” Jason asks. Conner can practically hear the smirk, even if he can’t see it. Conner grins.

“What makes you so sure he’ll be the one asking her?” He counters. Jason nods.

“Touché. Ten bucks says he asks her out.” Jason bets. Conner snorts.

“Yeah right. Twenty says she asks him.” He holds out his hand, shaking Jason’s hand. “Can’t wait to get my twenty dollars.” Conner teases, walking off towards Tim and Marinette, pointedly ignoring the small jabs that Jason mutters. Stopping in front of the two, he frowns at the way Marinette was cradling her arm.

“Get that look off your face, Kon. It’s not that bad.” She says. He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Like that time your leg wasn’t so bad and then you had to have surgery to fix it?” He asks. She narrows her eyes.

“Don’t you dare bring that up, Conner Thomas Kent. Not unless you want me to bring up the time that you said you liked-” Conner quickly puts his hand over her mouth.

“You wouldn’t dare.” He says. She gives him a look that says ‘try me’. Huffing, Conner drops his hand. “Fine. Let’s go.” He says, turning and heading off towards the truck.

“Can we stop for coffee on the way? I’m exhausted.” Marinette pleads. Tim grins.

“I second that!” He says, giving Marinette a dopey smile. Conner purses his lips.

“You get tea.” He says. Marinette gasps.

“What did I ever do to you? I thought I was your favorite cousin.” She says with a pout. Conner rolls his eyes.

“You’re my only cousin.” He reminds her. She pouts.

“I’ll let you have some of my coffee.” Tim says softly, grinning as Marinette’s face lights up. Conner debates calling him out, but decides not to. After all, the ‘you get tea’ was directed at both of them.

Story tag list (open): @timari-month-event

Permanent tag list (open): @stainedglassm @kittenmywaythrulife @laydeekrayzee @doll246 @queenz-z @deathssilentapproach-blog @literaryhiraeth @unoriginalmess @crazylittlemunchkin @buttercupsbitch

#maribat #maribat fanfiction #maribat fanfic #maribat marinette dupain cheng #maribat tim drake #maribat conner kent #maribat red hood #timari #timari january #timinette #marinette is a kent in her heart #maribat january

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tendousthoughts · 3 years

Text

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 3

Character(s) included: Oikawa & Kyoutani

Requested by: @chibiiichann

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of bullying [Oikawa], Mention of flinching [Kyoutani], Hints towards readers tough past [Kyoutani]

Song of the day: Trees II by McCfferty

A/N: First off thanks for 200- I know I said it a lot but I’m just so glad! Next, many of you haven’t seen but I have updated a few things. One of the biggest being my name I go by. At the moment I’m trying out Xic. I also noted my pronouns and stuff. Which you can all find on my announcements post. Now back to some more ‘important’ things [though this is important, this is not why you came here!]. Sorry about the long wait for part three! Please read through the warnings again to make sure everything is okay. Thank you for everything. Bye!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Oikawa

He was at it again. Working late nights and shit. You were happy for him. You were. Of course you were. He was back doing what he loved. He was back playing volleyball. With that happiness also came fear and worry. You knew how he was. Everyone who ever met him, knew how he was. He over worked himself. He always did and scared you. No matter how hard he tried not to. He pushed himself past his limits. Even after the doctor already told him, if he didn’t ease up on the practice, his knee would get even worse. But he was Oikawa Tōru. Determined and intelligent.

It was ten thirty and he already missed your date. Which you expected to happen, but it still kind of hurt. You tried calling for the fifth time that night, but you were met with the same thing. After a few rings it went to voicemail.

“Hey! You’ve reached the voicemail of Oikawa Tōru, thank you for calling! At the moment I’m busy but I promise after I’m done I’ll call you back. If you want, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. Byeee!”

You waited all night for him to come home around twelve thirty. He looked tired. Extremely tired and to be honest that pissed you off more. Not only did he not respond but he over worked himself again, and when he woke up the next night sore, you were the one who would have to take care of him.

Instead of bringing it up you waited for the morning. Not wanting to have this conversation while he was tired. It would feel like you were talking to yourself, and he wouldn’t understand. So you went to bed with him and by the morning he was already up before you.

You went to the kitchen to find him shuffling through your medication bin. “Are you sore?” You ask, looking at him.

“I’ll be fine, I just need breakfast and some medicine,” he muttered. He couldn’t have cared less. At least that’s what it looked like. He didn’t even spare you a glance.

“Maybe you should listen. You know, lay off volleyball practice for a day or something. Try to lesson the hours and stuff..” You looked back at him for his reaction.

“Can’t. If I ease up I’ll never be able to catch up.” He finally looked to you now, finding the medicine.

“I mean I think you will be fine. It is taking over your whole life and stuff so I just don’t want it to be a bigger issue. Like you know.. with your knees and stuff.” Your eyes are pinned on him.

“I told you not to worry about my knee, and it’s not taking up my life okay? It has and will always be my life. It’s the only thing I’m good at. So no, I'm not going to take a break.” He snapped at you. Which caught you off guard.

“It is… It is taking up your life,” you replied which made his face change.

“You don’t understand how it is like me. You don’t! I understand you don’t have anything you're good at and shit. But you have to understand that I actually have goals in life okay? You have to understand that my fucking life won’t revolve around you and how you feel when I do something. It won’t and never will. You and I are together because I feel like having you around. Because you know what, volleyball is the only thing that distracts me from leaving. Volleyball is the only thing I can do to escape you!” He screamed.

It takes a few seconds for the weight of his words to sink into your skin. But here’s the thing. You knew what you were up against when you started dating him. He just lit a fuse in you. A spark that made an explosion of feelings hit you. When it did you couldn’t control your words. “After all that practice I wondered why you never made it to nationals. I mean seriously. You need a distraction from me, right? Your always doing it, and get you can’t even fucking get to nationals. Not only that but I can see why your last girlfriend left you. You're a dick. You can’t remember a fucking date. A fucking date we have been planning for weeks. Oh wait, let me correct that, a date I’ve been planning for weeks. Not only that but I took my fucking time to work around your schedule. For you not to even send a message.” You spat out. You looked down at him, “I wonder sometimes if everyone was right. You and me. Never belonged. I’m just a distraction from such a ‘handsome’ and ‘kind’ person.”

He looked hurt at first, but then again he started it and intended to finish it. “I can see why your whole family doesn’t talk to you. You always think you're the best or something. Maybe I remembered the date. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe I didn’t wanna hangout with you. Maybe I didn’t want to hear you nagging me every fucking second. You know what? I can see why people fucking hate you. Bully you and shit. Your such a fucking selfish freak.”

“What..?” You looked at him. You told him you were bullied, because you thought of him as your safe space. You thought of him as the only person who understood you. You felt safe when he was around you. You felt understood. To use that against you. To say you deserved it. To say you deserved to get hurt. To get shamed. To get everything that happened to you… it was your fault?

“What are you too dumb to understand?” He laughed at you. Hatred and venom spilling from his lips. “Awe.. look at the baby. You should be grateful I didn't break up with you. You should be thankful because I’m the only reason you're even someone.”

Tears filled your eyes. “God fucking damn it.” You muttered softly. You weren’t going to allow him to take you down. You were stronger then he would ever understand. “You really think anyone wants to hang out with you..? Do you fucking think anyone find you a good person..? Your just a fucking pretty face, okay? Your nothing compared to anyone else on your team. You might not realize it but to be honest sometimes I do want to be set free. Set free from this shitty relationship okay? That’s the truth. Sometimes I get sick of having to take care of you. When your fucking sore before you over works your self again. I am the only one trying to keep you okay. I’m the only one who actually thinks about the long run. No matter how hard you practice in the end you won’t even be able to walk. Let alone play volleyball and shit. You know what sometimes I get sick of being the only fucking one trying to keep us together.”

“Then maybe you should give up okay. Maybe we should finally go our separate ways. I mean after all, you're too easy.” He was hurt. He just blurted out whatever he thought would hurt you the most. Which fucking worked. Before you had said anything more he had left the room, leaving you stunned.

It took a moment but before you knew it you were out of the house, crying and walking the farthest away from your shared house as you could. “Fuck..” you whisper. Did he really not want to be with you..? You should have known. This relationship wasn’t a relationship. You barely talked. You felt alone. So fucking alone.

It took an hour for him to fully cool down. When he walked out of the room he was expecting you to be waiting for him. He was expecting everything to be okay. When he was met with the emptiness. The emptiness of you being actually gone. He was met with the realization that his words were taken just how he thought he wanted them to be.

You on the other hand we’re at the park blasting music in your ears. Forcing the thoughts to be pushed deep down. Forcing you to forget everything. Everything that hurts you. Maybe it would be best if you guys did go your separate ways..? You knew this wasn’t good for your mental health. But fuck that. This was the only thing that made you feel grounded. Made you feel okay. When he wasn’t with you or practicing he was out with friends, drinking and partying. You couldn’t continue to live like this. So maybe it would be best to let go. To give up on everything and everything you loved… your everything was him. You always argued and at this point you felt sick. Thinking about it just broke you. You had no more tears to cry, with your tear stained cheeks you decided to go back. To your home. It was over. Everything you had built up was coming crashing down.

On his side he was freaking out. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew there was no excuse for what he did to you, but what could he say? You were gone already. It took a bit for him to get to the nerve to call you. To his surprise he heard the sound of your ringing phone. So you left it. Maybe you were going to come back. Maybe you will and then everything will be okay again. Maybe everything would be perfect. It was a small chance but that's all he could hold on to.

When you walked in it was quiet, but there were soft whimpers and cries coming from your shared room. Gently you knocked on the door and waited for a response. You were surprised when you immediately heard a stumble and then were met with a hug. Your shoulder almost immediately feels wet to the touch. “Ba.. Oikawa..?” You muttered.

“Please don’t call me that.. please..” He muttered softly. His face buried deep into your clothes.

You kinda ignored his response. “I came back to get my stuff. I took into consideration what you said and I realized that you don’t deserve to be distracted by me all the time..” You whispered softly. “So like you said earlier.. I think it is best if we stop seeing each other.. entirely because I don’t know if I could let you go otherwise..”

His arms tightened around you, “C..can we please talk about it first.. please..” his nightmare was coming true, and maybe it was dumb but he didn’t realize how much he needed you.

“There’s nothing to talk about.. I don’t understand why you want to make it harder on me. I gave you what you wanted okay..? You can practice your heart out and hangout with your friends and stuff okay? You can finally find someone who will fit all your needs. You and I both know that I will never be what you want. So maybe it would be best if we just let go..”

“No… please no.. that’s not what I want.. I want to make it up to you and be there for you and I want to make you happy and I want everything to be perfect. I know I messed up okay? I don’t deserve you and I don’t know what came over me today because you're everything I’ve ever wanted. I know I don’t deserve it and there’s no excuse for what I said or did… I know I should let you find someone better but I love you. I love you so fucking much. I know I’ve been lacking and I want to make up for it. I want to be someone you want to be around again.. I love you so fucking much okay? I should have been there. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. I know I don’t deserve a second chance but please.. just one more.. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He didn’t want to let go of everything.

“I’m sorry too.. you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry for everything and that’s why I want to let you go. To find someone who will not hurt you like I hurt you.. You and I both know that I can't resist it. I don’t know why you do this to me.. pull me back.. you have one more chance… Please don’t make me regret it. I really love you but this.. this isn’t going to work if we do what we are doing now okay? We will just tear each other more and more apart..” you whispered gently, kissing his head. Your arms finally meet his back as you hold him. “I’m sorry.. but I’ve got you now baby. I love you so fucking much..”

Kyoutani

Kyoutani was the type of person most people would never understand. Not because they were “difficult” or anything.. they just never took the time too. Well other than you. You were different. You understood his outburst and such. But at the same time you were human. There was only so much you could take. There was only so much you would take.

When he came into the locker room you were already waiting for him. He had been thrown out of the game for fighting with a few people. You knew he was frustrated. You could hear the crowd from a mile away shouting to kick him off. It was harsh. Even for ‘mad dog’ which he hated to be called. He hated to be tied to an animal.. and always being an angry reck. Anybody would. But of course nobody understood other than you. When he sat on the bench you immediately rushed over.

“Baby.. I’m sorry.. You didn’t deserve that.. just ignore them, please. I know it’s hard but their not important okay..?” You we’re just trying to comfort him. But there were times when Kyoutani couldn’t control himself. Like any other person when they get looked down at every fucking moment of their lives. When they are ridiculed and laughed at all the time. When they are nothing more than an angry person.. Sometimes there is nothing more to do than be the person everyone so desperately makes you out to be.

“Not important? Not important! I just got fucking kicked from the game because of them chanting to kick me. They didn’t even fucking have the decency to call me by my name. So don’t tell me it’s okay and that their opinion on me doesn’t matter. Because quite frankly their opinion is the only one that matters it seems.” He lashed out.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that.. it wasn’t entirely their fault. You were arguing with the other team members.” You muttered. It wasn’t meant to do any harm, just for him to keep in mind.

“Are you serious right now.? Nobody else got kicked. Nobody. If they can’t handle a little trash talking, maybe they shouldn’t play a sport. I mean seriously there’s no need for them to tell the referees to kick me.” He started raising his voice when he spoke.

“I know it’s just that.. maybe you should try and not trash talk you know?” You whispered softly, retreating a bit.

“What?” He looked annoyed. “God ducking damn it. How can you be so cute but so fucking annoying. I mean seriously how can someone with such a face be so fucking dumb and so annoying?” His hands were balled into fist

“I..I don’t understand, can you tell me why you act so sweet..? Then so cold the next moment..? You don’t mean it right..? Please say you don’t mean it.” You were worried you loved him but god it was hard. It was hard to respond when your friends asked about your relationship. It was hard when they flaunted their perfect relationship and then asked about yours. Its was so fucking hard.

“Do you think I would say it otherwise..?” He looked at you. He laughed at you as he saw your pitiful expression. God it was almost sickening how much he saw that expression. That expression that nobody else had ever shown him. The one of worry but at the same time already knowing it was coming. He loved it. He loved everything about you. But most of the time you pissed him off. This relationship wasn’t healthy. But for god sake you already started counseling. But fuck this was a bad idea.

Silence. Nothing could come out. You wanted to scream. You wanted to forget this. You wanted it to stop. Everything to stop.

“Answer me.” He punched the wall next to you. Fear spreading all over your face. Fuck. Fuck. Not here. Please no. He gripped your warm face making it so cold in seconds. Forcing you to look at him he laughed at your crying face. But when you didn’t stop for a minute he immediately backed away. He fucked up. He knew he fucked up. “Wait I’m sorry baby..” he muttered.

“Please stop. Please. I won’t do it again.” Flashbacks we’re pulling you way too far out. You were drowning. No one was around to save you. He was laughing as you begged to be saved, pushing you deeper into your own pool of your own thoughts. You were so cold. The next second you were able to move back to the surface.

Realization hit as he stepped back. “I..I am sorry..” he muttered softly as he left the room without another word leaving his mouth. Words were banging on his lips but he knew if he spilled them out everything out it would just hurt you ten times more.

You got up five minutes later, finally pulled back to reality and decided to get up. Grabbing your stuff you walked back into the stadium. Waving a small wave to the rest of his team before exiting. Confusion was read all over as they saw your tear stained face. To be honest, all that was running through your mind was that you didn’t want Kyoutani to break up with you. You didn’t want to be alone, again. You didn’t want to be just another one of his ex’s. So for the better of both of you it would be best to leave him be. To let him cool off.. for him to feel better.

He was freaking out. He fucked up. You. You were his everything, not only that but you were more than just that. You were like a fucking rainbow at the end of a rainy day. You were his partner in crime. You made him feel normal, you made him feel safe, and loved. He couldn’t believe he just put that all in danger. He just put everything on the line because of some stupid game. He hit the wall hard, “fuck me. I’m sorry y/n..” he muttered as he sank to the floor and balled up. Tears burning through his eyes. He did the one thing he promised you that he would protect you from. You became the one thing he was always scared of becoming. He loved you so much, he love you so fucking much.

You left and got into your car. Sinking into your seat you locked the doors, and hit the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath salty tears rolled down your already stained face. Placing the key in and turning it the car started. Next thing you knew you had left wherever you could go. You loved him. So fucking much. But it was hard to be okay when he acted so fucking rough with you. It was hard to stay calm and not imagine your past relationship in this one. You tried. You really did but god it was hard to feel okay, feel okay about everything happening around you. It was too much. So fucking much. It made your head hurt.

When the game ended Kyoutani was still freaking out, now moved back into the lockers. He didn’t know what he was expecting but he knew he hoped you would still be there. God damn it. He fucked up. You had left. You were gone. Tears brimming his eyes as he teammates walked in. Now mentioning it to his teammates their faces seemed to change. More salty fucking tears left his eyes, as he heard about what type of pain you looked like you were in.

You headed back to your shared place. Unsure where else to go. You weren’t close with your family anymore. You had no friends. You had no work buddies. You had nobody but Kyoutani and in turn, now you were left alone with the thought of everything being gone. Ripped right out of your hands as you're forced to watch your whole world come crumbling down on you. You placed your stuff down on the side and laid on the bed. It smelled just like safety. Just like Kyoutani. You just wanted to be held. You just wanted everything to be perfect, again. To be okay at least. You needed him more than anything.

After a night out he finally made it back to your shared place. He didn’t want to be back without you, but you weren’t answering and he didn’t know what else to do. When he walked into the apartment he slowly walked into your shared room. There he saw you. Laying in bed cuddled up in the blankets. Slowly and carefully he walked up. Not wanting to cause you any more hurt. He missed you. Even for a few hours he had felt like he hadn’t seen you in years. But maybe that was because he thought that’s what might have happened. Maybe he thought you had left for good. Maybe he thought he would never have the chance to apologize. Never have the chance to hold you again. When he reached the bed he noticed that you were awake. “Hey y/n..” he muttered softly. The silence was killing him. “I’m so sorry. I know I fucked up. I promised to make you feel safe and protected around me. I made a promise to keep you safe and protected. I broke both of those. I fucked up. I know I did. I lashed out again. I did exactly what everyone says I do. I just get so fucking heated for no reason and I know I shouldn’t and I know I should just relax. But I feel like if I do the worlds would burn though my throat and then it would just explode.. and I know it’s stupid and I know I end up hurting you more. I know that there is no good reason to do that. But I just.. I don’t know. You're the only one that makes me feel normal okay..? I know it’s not fair. I know it’s not. You just make me feel like whenever I’m with you that I’m floating. I just want everything to be okay again. I want everything to be back to normal. I know I should give you space but I missed you so much. I don’t want you to leave, please don’t leave..” he was crying again. He barely had any tears left to cry. He wanted to hold you but he knew it was a stupid idea. “I’m sorry for being so selfish.. but please..”

You never really heard him or saw him crack. But fuck. It hurts you so much. To see him beg for you to stay with him. What were you supposed to do..? Leave him now? That was never even the plan. You didn’t have a plan to be honest. You sat up biting your lip before you gently held him. “Hey baby it will be okay.. calm down I’ve got you.. I’m not going anywhere now. I promise you I’m not going anywhere.” You muttered softly. He melted into your touch. He knew he didn’t deserve it but he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Shush… I’ve got you.. take a deep breath..” you mumbled softly kissing his head as he took deep breaths. Soon enough he was relaxed in your arms again. “You know and I know that I love you so much. But there’s a line between where I can take it and I can’t. I understand you get frustrated but I don’t deserve to be treated like that. I don’t deserve to be scared of being hit.. and I know we both know that. I try to be understanding but you need to try to be too okay..? I love you so much.. more than you might believe but Kyoutani I can’t handle being in a relationship with you if you're constantly annoyed or angry with me. I think we deserve to be happy.. and if that means needing to take a break then we would have to okay? You need to work on communicating. I know it can be hard.. but please..” you whispered. Tears flowing down your soft skin again. It was getting a lot. So it would be best if you told him… you needed him to understand.

He gently shook his head. He understood. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he was lucky for you to be holding him.. for him to even still be in a relationship with you let alone it be still a romantic one. He loved you and he knew you didn’t deserve anything that he put you through. In the end all that mattered was you in his eyes. He was going to change.. he was. “I promise.. thank you y/n..” he whispered softly. Gently he wrapped his arms around you. “I love you so much..” he muttered. Everything would be okay.. he knew it was going to be now. All that mattered was that you were safe. That you were happy.. that you were in his arms again.

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