#also who thought that making us attend 20 different courses this semester was a good idea

[popia-copia]

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#I don’t know whyyy all of my professors decided to assign us a final project #all at the same time #but the next two months are going to be hell on earth #today I felt guilty for making dinner because I could have spent that time on writing my essay #fun times #also who thought that making us attend 20 different courses this semester was a good idea #I just want to have a day off pls

[starcherryberry]

ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕤 → 𝕐𝔾 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕩 𝕁𝕂 | 𝕄.

→ ❝ With your final semester left of university you expected to go through it easily however an issue with your credits leads you to take Professor Min’s Painting 101 course.❞

☾ Pairing: Professor!Yoongi Painter!Yoongi x Student!Reader x Student!Jungkook (this was suppose to be a yoongi x reader but somehow my mind wandered and jungkook came in lmao it be like that sometimes)

☾ Type: Poly!Relationship (literally you won’t see it until like the ending but oops)

☾ Genre: Smut  ☆  Angst  ☆  Fluff

☾ Word Count: 7.3k

↠ Warnings: there is an age gap between all characters involved, if you are not comfortable with that please refrain from reading. Dom!Yoongi, Dom!Jungkook, Big Cock!Yoongi, Big Cock!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, fingering, Public Sex in classroom, Body Worship (mainly JK), cockwarming (sort of not really but like for a few mins) unprotected sex (jeez many times someone wrap their doodles please)

✉ Song Recommendations: (I love kdrama osts don’t hate me, also these are all spotify links so use youtube if you don’t have it) (Legit none of these fit the tone of the fic I just luv to recommend sht hehe)

♡ Weki Meki- Love Diamond

♡  Jus2- Take

♡  Junggigo- Too Good

♡  Punch, Glabingo- Beautiful Beautiful (watch hit the top it’s a beautiful kdrama hehe)

✉ Note: Anyways this is my first fic to be uploaded on tumblr! I spent a long time revising & working on this legit I have been staring at my computer for way too long and my eyes hurt because I wanted to get this out. It’s currently 4am as I upload this so if there are errors in the text I apologize in advance. (a girl is tired) Please don’t steal! This fanfic was inspired by the constant Youtube painting lives Yoongi has had. In the midst of writing I added Jungkook because he added more into the story. I was thinking of making this into a Occupation!BTS collection where I can make one for each member with different story lines. Let me know if you want me to do so in the comments below! (okay im talking to much bye)

“Y/N it seems like you still need 4 more credits added to your schedule to be eligible to graduate this semester.” your advisor told you. You honestly didn’t know you still needed more credits to graduate, you never cared to look. So when it came to registering, you signed up for the courses you needed as part of your International Studies degree. 

“What courses are still available for registration?” you asked even though you knew the number of courses to be left must be very few. “Well there is one course open, it’s Professor Min’s Painting 101. He’s a new professor here so it makes sense as to why not many students signed up with him yet.  Even though this course isn’t a requirement for your major, it will definitely cover up for the credits you need Y/N so I suggest you sign up for this. His course runs every Friday at 1 pm-3 pm” your advisor said as she handed you a summary of Professor Min’s course.

You looked over the summary of the course to know what you’re getting yourself into. It was a 101 class so of course, you will be in a class full of freshmen. That wasn’t too exciting however you didn’t mind painting, you are actually quite great at it as a hobby. With one last look at the sheet, you turn to your advisor “Okay I’ll take the course”.

It was finally Friday and today includes your very first class with Professor Min. Unfortunately, you couldn’t go on Rate My Professor to see what kind of teacher was he since he’s new. ‘I swear if he’s an asshole, I’m gonna give him a fucking one’ you thought to yourself. 

You were standing right in front of his classroom, sighing you stepped in to see a couple of students already seated. You tried looking for a seat next to an empty one only to see none, so you had to sit next to someone. Looking around the classroom to observe the students there, you saw a boy with long hair covering his eyes. ‘He looks like someone who won’t speak to me that’s perfect’ you thought as you made your way over and sat next to the boy. 

The boy looked up, staring at you for a bit before speaking “Hello! My name is Jungkook” he said smiling. ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, I forgot how friendly these freshmen are on the first day because they have no friends’ you thought. “Uh, h-hi my name is Y/N” you waved slightly at him. 

“Are you majoring in arts too?” he asked, his eyes were wide in a cute way. “No, actually I’m an International Studies major. I’m only taking this course for extra credits to graduate” you smiled at him. “Oh...so you must be older than me” he chuckled. You had, to be honest, his laugh was pretty cute. “Yeah I’m 22 however I’d like to think I was younger” you laughed and Jungkook laughed with you. You and Jungkook continued to talk until class began.

Suddenly the door opened and revealed a man who looked young with long brown and blonde hair. ‘Fuck he’s hot’ you thought as your gaze focused on him walking in. Jungkook leaned in and whispered in your ear “He’s quite the eye candy right” and you nodded. What else were you supposed to say of course you didn’t expect your painting professor to be a man who looked like he was in his mid 20’s. 

Professor Min’s eyes scanned the classroom before stopping on you for a bit. You could feel your face reddening as you felt his gaze on you. ‘Fuck stop thinking like this Y/N’. As you looked up at Professor Min he broke the stare and sat at his desk. “Okay, my name is Professor Min and welcome to my Painting 101 class, this course will include beginner level painting. You will learn the steps to becoming a better painter. I expect each and every one of you to come out of this class with at least more confidence in the arts.” he said as he looked over the class. 

Professor Min then took out his clipboard with the attendance sheet. He checked off each student one by one before hovering over your name tilting his head before looking up at you “Miss Y/N?” You immediately looked up at him “Yes?”. “It says here you’re a senior majoring in International Studies, is there a reason why you’re taking my course?” he asked still having his gaze on you.

“Ah um well I needed an extra course to get enough credits to graduate this semester and your course was the only option. However, I really like to paint as a hobby so I thought this class would be easy to take!” You answered trying to sound like you’re happy with taking the class. Professor Min nodded to your response “I see well welcome to the class as well” he smiled before standing up. 

“So for today’s class, we’ll start easy. Each of you will be doing individual work today by making a simple painting of your choice. I decided to make this a first-day activity because I want to see where you are in terms of levels of performance with painting however expect me to make some comments as this is a college course not a high school course. This will be due in class today. I expect each of you to explain your paintings and why you made them the way they are. You have 2 hours, so please get to your stations, the materials needed are on the carts in the corner.” Professor Min stated as he went back to his desk and started to go over some paperwork while we all began to work.

The two hours of painting were almost up and to be honest you were very satisfied with your painting. You painted two pink roses tied together that were falling from the sky. ‘Professor Min is going to love this’ you smiled at the thought. Jungkook looked over your shoulder to see what you painted and laughed a bit. “That’s definitely very simple but it’s cute Y/N,” he laughed giving you a light pat on the back. You turned to see what Jungkook painted to see that he made a fucking portrait of himself A PORTRAIT! “What the fuck Jungkook how did you get that done within just 2 hours?” you ask as now you felt not so confident in your painting anymore. “Well, I am a visual arts major what did you expect” Jungkook laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Okay the 2 hours are up, I will start walking around the class to individually speak about your paintings. Once I grade them you can leave the classroom. I will post your homework for the week on canvas so make sure to check!” Professor Min said as he started to walk around the classroom to grade students.

Soon enough he reached Jungkook and he had no problem explaining his portrait of himself. “I really love the details of your painting Jungkook, I can see you will probably be one of the more advanced skilled students in our class, your grade for this assignment is an A” Professor Min smiled as he then turned to your painting. Jungkook had packed up his things and waved at you before leaving the classroom. 

It was just you and Professor Min in the classroom so the amount of nervousness you felt was really high. “Alright Y/N explain your painting to me” he asked as he looked directly at you. “Well, as you can see I painted two pink roses tied together that are also in the midst of falling from the sky. I actually didn’t know what to paint at the beginning if I had to be honest but I just let my head flow with whatever came to my mind first which was roses. Roses signify love, I’ve actually never felt that before but pink roses comfort me a lot which is why I painted them falling from the sky. The roses are not within the grass they are falling because they haven’t gotten to me even though I think about them a lot.” You were satisfied with your answer as you smiled at Professor Min.

He nodded and looked at your painting again. “I like the story behind this painting Y/N however I feel like you can add more detail in your painting. Maybe add something else to pair with the flowers or add some scenery behind it so it doesn’t look like a plain sky. I see lots of paintings like this Y/N and it’s too simple for the meaning behind it when other paintings look exactly like this. Try and add more of your other feelings to this. I will give you a C for this however if you take it home and re-do it, I can consider regrading your work” Professor Min said as he wrote down your grade on his clipboard and smiled “I’ll see you next Friday Miss Y/N” he said as he walked back to his desk. 

You just stood there trying to process what the fuck he just told you. It needed more detail, more work? You were sure you added everything you needed that was in your head. ‘I can’t believe this, Jungkook painted himself and got an A, what did I do wrong?’ you thought. “Miss Y/N are you alright?” Professor Min spoke up as he saw you still standing at your station. You snapped out of it and nodded over at him “Y-yeah I was just thinking of something else sorry, have a nice day!” you said as you grabbed your bag and your painting before rushing out the classroom. ‘I hope you choke on your fucking coffee Professor Min’ you thought as soon as you exited.

It was Friday again and throughout the week you worked on revising your painting as well as become close friends with Jungkook. “Did you get your painting done Y/N?” Jungkook asked as you sat down next to him. “Yeah, I was able to finish it hopefully he’s happy with this one even though I don’t understand what I did wrong in the first place,” you said sighing while taking your painting out and setting it next to your desk. “I thought it was fine even though it was simple, I think he’s just messing with you” Jungkook laughed. “If he’s messing with me I will chop his dick off for real,” you said frustrated.“ “I see I hope you don’t plan on doing that to me too” Jungkook laughed again. “As long as you don’t piss me off too much Kook then you’ll be fine” you smiled.

In the midst of talking, Professor Min walked in “Good Afternoon class, I hope you all have your homework ready to hand in. It will be the first thing we talk about in class today”. He said as he walked up to the chalkboard to write the word ‘blue’ on it. Shit shit shit, you forgot to do your homework because you were so focused on trying to redo your painting. Seeing you in distress, Jungkook handed you a sheet of paper and winked at you. You saw a post-it note on it and it said ‘I know you were trying to get your painting done all week so I did your homework for you!’. You smiled at the note before turning to Jungkook to give him a finger heart.

“So today before we start class we will go over the homework. Before I do that please pass them up so I know none of you are going to try adding in answers.” Professor Min said as we all started to hand our homework up. “This week’s homework was to give off your own meaning of the color blue, what does it mean to you and why did you think of that when you see or think of the color blue? Compared to many other colors, blue seems to be misinterpreted the most so I wanted to see what you all thought about it before we go more into observing colors” Professor Min said as he looked over the class before his eyes landed on you. “Miss Y/N what does the color blue mean to you,” he asked.

Trying to remember what you saw in your homework that Jungkook did you tried to answer. “When I see the color blue I think about the feeling of loneliness, it’s a color that for some reason emits sadness. Whenever I am alone and have no one, the color that first comes into mind to describe my feeling is blue,” you said as you exhaled feeling like you were holding your breath because you could still feel Professor Min’s intense gaze on you. He stared at you before responding “That’s an answer I expected, I am sure many of us had similar answers. The color blue definitely has a sort of tie to sadness however blue can have other meanings too, for example, it can symbolize healing.” Professor Min said. 

“Since we have about an hour left, I’d like for you all to go to your stations, and paint a fruit that represents you, the fruit must contain one of the colors we talked about today. Expect that all your paintings in class to represent yourself, because painting expresses the feeling of the artist themselves.” Professor Min said as he smiled.

“This is going to be a piece of cake,” Jungkook said as he turned to his canvas. “Do you think he’s going to correct me on this painting too?” you asked Jungkook while getting your palette out. He shook his head “Nah, come on Y/N this is fucking fruit we’re talking about there’s no way he won’t give you an A”. You honestly hope Jungkook was speaking the truth.

The class was almost over and the fruit you ended up painting was strawberries. You thought it came out pretty cute. As you turned to Jungkook’s painting you tilted your head “Weren’t we supposed to paint only one fruit, why did you paint a whole fruits basket?” you asked. Jungkook shrugged “I didn’t know what fruit to paint, I feel like I am someone with many traits that can’t be linked to just one fruit, so hopefully Professor Min likes it.” he said.

Professor Min started to walk around the classroom in order so that meant you would be last in the classroom again. He reached Jungkook “Wow Jungkook it seems as you thought outside of the box, tell me what your painting means,” Professor Min said happily. Jungkook chuckled before responding “Well I feel like my life can’t be represented through one fruit, I like to think highly of myself so painting every fruit I could think of expresses that I am happy and that having all these traits is not a problem as long as I feel content with it” Jungkook explained.

Professor Min nodded “You impressed me yet again Jungkook, that’s an A” he smiled as he moved onto your station. Jungkook gave you a huge smile and a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. “Before you show me your fruit painting I want to see your revised painting of your roses Y/N,” Professor Min said. You handed him the painting of your roses. “I added a scenery behind the roses, as you can see I added an ocean behind them. You don’t see flowers growing near the ocean, I put them there because reaching the feeling of love is rare for me and it usually wouldn’t go too far so the roses would die even if they land in the sand or water.” You spoke hoping Professor Min can give you an A.

Professor Min sighed “I think you’re thinking to deep into your feelings Y/N, the painting is beautiful actually however I’m sure love will be successful to you one day. I will up your grade for this painting to an A” he said as he moved onto your fruit painting. “Thank you! For my fruit painting, I decided to paint strawberries, they represent happiness because whenever I go eat them I’m always reminded of the pretty things in life.” You stated happily. “I think that’s a nice way to go about it Y/N however I think your strawberries need a little more detailing maybe add a prop like how jungkook added his fruits into a basket. I’ll give this a C, feel free to re-do it, and turn it in next Friday.” Professor Min said as he turned away without letting you speak.

What the fuck a C again? You didn’t understand but you didn’t care. If Professor Min wanted you to fix it then you will because you simply just wanted to graduate.

As each week passed by you became more and more frustrated. No matter what you did with all your paintings Professor Min always gives you a C just to regrade to an A once you redid them. “I’m literally going to fucking kill him if he gives me a C one more damn time” you rolled your eyes as you started to eat your pizza. 

“I think he’s hitting on you Y/N” Jungkook simply said as he sipped his banana milk. With that, you started to choke on your food “W-what?” you were sure that was not it, definitely, Professor Min hates you. “I don’t know it’s just weird that he keeps doing that and that he leaves you for last when it comes to grading. Plus you’re a senior right? Professor Min is only 27 there’s not too big of an age gap between the two of you.” he shrugged as he bit his pizza. “There’s no way in fucking hell he’s hitting on me, plus isn’t that illegal for a professor to do that?!” you questioned

“Not really as long as you both give consent to each other and keep it low it’s fine, plus you’re graduating so I don’t think he sees an issue.” Jungkook said as you hit him in the head with your phone “Well I promise you that’s not it, let’s not talk about this anymore kook” Jungkook grabbed his head chuckling while you just wanted to shut the conversation off because you honestly didn’t know how to feel if Professor Min actually liked you.

“Alright, so I will be walking around the classroom to look at the different birds each of you painted. This is the last assignment before I give you your final project next week, so I hope many of you improved with this assignment if it’s not good you may have trouble with the final as I will not be offering any regrading on it.” Professor Min firmly stated.

Time passed as he went to each student before reaching Jungkook. “What do we have here Jungkook?” Professor Min asked. “I painted a bluebird Professor Min, I thought it was perfect to paint as it symbolizes the arrival of spring but with the semester ending, I feel like I have put my all into all my works so the bluebird also symbolizes hard work!” Jungkook smiled while answering. “Nicely done Jungkook, you never fail to amaze me with your work. Your grade for this assignment is an A. I actually want to speak with you in my office tomorrow, even though you’re a freshman I feel like I wouldn’t mind having you as a mentor in my courses for next term.” Professor Min said as he smiled widely at Jungkook. ‘Thank you so much, I would love to help mentor students!” Jungkook smiled even his eyes fucking smiled. 

Professor Min walked over to you pulling out your grading sheet. Jungkook packed all of his things happily as he made a big heart with his hands before leaving the classroom. He has a habit of cheering you on with a cute gesture before Professor Min grades you.

“Seems like you have a similar color palette as Jungkook, what bird did you paint,” he asked looking at you. “I painted a Blue Jay Professor Min they have a meaning of being fearless. The reason why I painted it wasn’t because of the meaning but because of the color blue. I was reminded back to the popular meaning of the color blue, sadness. Even though the Blue Jay is fearless it makes me think if it sometimes feels lonely while pulling that Fearless front. I always try to stay strong for myself and pull through but there’s a point where I feel stuck but I don’t want to speak about it. We all experience fear in our lives whether that be alone or with someone else.” You exhaled as you said all of that. ‘Gosh talking for that long while having Professor Min’s stare is having too much of an effect on you’. 

“Wow Y/N the meaning you put to your painting is amazing, I love the connection” he squinted at the painted before continuing. “I think you should add something into the painting that shows what the Blue Jay may have a fear of. Other than that your grade is a C. You can come into my office after Jungkook tomorrow if you want to speak more into redoing this pro-” you cut him off as at this point you already had enough.

“Why a C, I don’t understand Professor Min please make me understand why you give me a fucking C every single time just for you to give me an A after I fix minor mistakes! This isn’t right and I want a true explanation why,” you yelled as you tried to slow down with your breathing.

“Y/N please lower your tone when speaking to me” he calmly said. “No! Just tell me why! I fix everything for you just for you to do the same shit all over again” you said already feeling tears coming up “Just why, please” you begged

“Y/N….your paintings always came out beautiful even without the regrading. I was interested in you on the first day of class when I noticed you were a bit older than all the other students, you stood out to me because this also isn’t your major of focus. You stood out in so many ways and I guess I wanted to get close to you. However, as my status as a professor, I can’t just do it so easily so my way of doing it was trying to keep you in the classroom and in contact with me as long as possible. I wanted to see you more Y/N because I like you.” Professor Min said as he looked into your eyes trying to at least find something.

“P-professor Min…” you stuttered surprised by his confession. “Please call me Yoongi Y/N, class is over” he stated as he got closer to you. “I don’t know what to say...Yoongi” you said moving your gaze to the floor, you couldn’t believe he was doing all this because he liked you, Jungkook was right. Yoongi grabbed your chin lightly as he lifted it before he placed his lips on yours. You kissed back slowly as Yoongi placed his hand behind your head to deepen it.

You could feel yourself starting to get hot as things got intense with the kiss and somehow you’re at Yoongi’s desk sitting on his lap. “Fuck Y/N you’re so beautiful did you know that I’ve been thinking about you like this for a while now,” he said in between the kiss as he could feel you trying to rut on his bulge. He chuckled “I bet your so wet right now Y/N look at you rutting against my cock that’s not even out for you yet.” You whined as you just wanted some pleasure, it’s been a while since you hooked up with anyone. “Yoongi please I just want your cock,” you said trying to rub your clothed core on his lap for stimulation. “Yeah? Want my cock right here huh when anyone can walk in and see my cock stuffed in your pussy?” Yoongi kissed your neck as you moaned. His words were so dirty which turned you on even more. “Yes yes Y-yoongi I need it!” you cried out.

“I need your pants off  Y/N,” he said as he helped you take off your pants leaving you in just your underwear. You couldn’t believe you were doing this in a classroom with your own Professor. You helped Yoongi take his pants off and then you were left staring at his boxers. “Y/N take my cock out and suck” he demanded as he stared at you. You could tell he was already eye-fucking you. You put your hand into the opening of his boxers and pulled out his cock. 

Fuck. He. Was. Huge 

You didn’t waste time given the circumstances you’re in, you started to suck his cock. You couldn’t fit all of him it was too much however Yoongi grabbed the back of your head forcing his cock to go all the way in your mouth making you tear up. “Fuck Y/N that’s it take this cock, I think I’ll come soon” Yoongi growled as he guided your head down his cock. While you were sucking, Yoongi took out his phone to capture the sight of you. He never painted nude paintings because he wanted to wait for someone he loved to do so. Just by looking at you, he wanted to make you into art for only him to see. 

You could feel Yoongi’s grip on your head tighten signaling that he was close to cumming. “Y/N where do you want me to cum sweetheart,” he asked looking down at you his hair sticking to his skin. You pointed to your mouth as you couldn’t form words obviously. “Your mouth is so good for me Y/N taking this cock so well” he grunted before he shot his cum into your mouth slowing down the pace of his hand on your head.

You swallowed every drop before lifting yourself onto his lap and leaning in to kiss him again. “Y/N I want my cock inside you,” he said as he grabbed your ass and positioned you over the tip of his cock before slamming inside you. “Yoongi! Fuck ugh!” you moaned out loud before Yoongi placed his hand on your mouth. “Baby you have to be quiet unless you want to let the whole school know your mine” he whispered in your ear. You moaned loudly into his hands, you couldn’t help it because Yoongi didn’t even let you adjust to his cock.

“Your pussy is so tight Y/N I might cum sooner then I thought” he moaned as he flips you over. Your face was now against his desk as Yoongi was fucking you from behind. “C-cum inside me Y-yoongi!” you cried out without thinking. Yoongi started to thrust harder and deeper “Shit okay Y/N, Do you like that? Having your professors cock inside your sweet little pussy to make you nice and full?” he growled as he started to slam his cock in and out your pussy. “Yes yes yes! I like that Y-yoongi! I-I’m going to cum fuck!” You suddenly saw white spots as your orgasm hit, you could feel Yoongi’s pace fastening as he started to spurt his cum into you.

Oh, fuck what have I done.

Yoongi pulled out slowly catching his breath before putting on his pants. “Y/N? Are you okay sweetheart?” he asked as he grabbed some tissues to clean you up. Without taking a glance at him you started to quickly put on your clothes. “Y/N?” he called out worried that you weren’t responding. “We can’t do this Yo- Professor Min it’s inappropriate and was a mistake I need to go,” you said as you teared up. You quickly grabbed your things ignoring Professor Min’s calling out.

You dialed Jungkook’s number hoping he would pick up. “Hey Y/N finished with talking with Professor Min?” he answered as you sniffled. “Y/N? Are you okay? Do you need me to take you back to your dorm?” he asked. “Please hurry Kook, I c-can’t do this” you pleaded. Jungkook comforted you through the phone as he went over to pick you up.

“So you had sex with Professor Min?” Jungkook blinked repeatedly as he was trying to take in the whole story. You nodded wiping your tears “It was wrong but it felt so good and it’s bothering me kook, I don’t know what to tell him.” Jungkook handed you a tissue “Y/N there’s obviously feelings between the both of you the only thing stopping you are each other statuses. The fact that Yoongi didn’t kick you out of the classroom and offered to clean you shows that he isn’t one of those people. I’m sure he’s hurt too Y/N. The best advice I can give is for both of you to give each other space until you’re ready to confirm your feelings back. If you realize the relationship is no good then let him know.” he stated as he gave you a hug. “Thank you, Kook. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend when you’re so nice” you tried to smile as you were in Jungkook’s arm. 

“I do have a crush on someone but I don’t think she likes me back” he sighed. “At least try but don’t fuck up like me” you chuckled. Jungkook nodded the problem was that you didn’t know that you were his crush. Jungkook was in love with you but he knew that it was never going to happen.

It was suddenly Friday again which means you had to see Yoongi. You were nervous you had no contact with him since you two had sex. You walked into the classroom seeing Jungkook give you a warm smile. Jungkook pointed in front of you so you looked over just to see Professor Min was early however he looked less like his happy self.

“Alright, so today’s class will be short because I will assign you all your final projects. For this project, you must make a collage of a color with multiple shades that speak words. You have 2 weeks to complete this project class dismissed.” Professor Min said as he gathered his things and left the classroom.

“Woah that was quick, Professor Min always uses his full class time no matter what,” Jungkook said as he sighed. “I think it’s because of me Kook, fuck what have I done. I really fucked everything up I’m sure instead of a C he’s going to give me an F.” You felt like crying, to be honest. “Hey, it’s okay. Want to come over my place to destress? We can watch Disney movies?” Jungkook smiled as he wanted to make you happy. You nodded “That would be great Kook” you smiled.

You and Jungkook were currently on the 5th Disney movie for the night. “Why can’t my love life be like a Disney movie, I feel like my story with Yoongi is like one of those tragedies before they get remade into a Disney Movie” you sighed reaching for some strawberries. Jungkook’s grip tightened on his cup of juice, he hated how you only spoke about Yoongi since the incident occurred. “Y/N if you keep thinking about Professor Min you’ll only stress yourself out more, give it a rest for just a bit, and maybe talk with him when finals are done?” he suggested. 

“The problem is that he’s all I ever think about Jungkook, I really thought I could forget about him even while watching these movies but it’s worse now.” you sighed. Jungkook looked at you for a moment before suggesting something that made you confused. “Then let me help you forget,” he said as he looked into your eyes. “Jungkook?” you were confused by what he meant, as you laid your eyes on him his lips were against yours. Unlike the kiss with Yoongi, you weren’t responding back. “Please Y/N…..just for today...let me do this,” he asked as his eyes looked into yours searching for permission to continue. Jungkook was younger than you by a few years but you trust him and know he means no harm and that he just wants to help. You nodded as you kissed Jungkook back.

In just about 5 minutes both yours and Jungkook’s clothes were discarded on the floor. “Fuck Y/N is this what you let Professor Min see? He doesn’t deserve to see your beautiful body.” Jungkook said as he placed his mouth over your nipple. You moaned out “J-Jungkook!” as Jungkook started to suck on your breasts “Did Professor Min worship your breasts like this? I bet he hasn’t huh” he chuckled as he gave you small bites over your chest. Your hands reached to Jungkooks bottom half as you tried to grab his cock. He wasn’t as big as Yoongi but definitely Jungkook’s cock was thicker making your pussy clench around nothing. “Eager aren’t you Y/N? Just want my cock in your tight pussy right?” Jungkook smirked.

“Please Jungkook no teasing I just want you inside” you whined as you could already feel some of your arousal slipping out. Jungkook laid your body onto the couch. He left for a bit to grab something only to come back with a blindfold. “A b-blindfold?” you titled your head.

“I know you don’t love me Y/N, I’m only helping you take your mind off things so I thought having you wear the blindfold would help because I don’t want anything to change between us,” he said as he placed it over your eyes. “Thank you Kook, don’t worry I won’t forget about you and I feel bad for even letting this happen, I don’t want to lead you on,” you said sadly. “Y/N I wanted this too I promise you I’m okay with this,” he said softly.

Jungkook wasted no time as he hovered over you inching his cock slowly inside you. He groaned “Mm Y/N your so fucking wet just for me, look at how easily you’re taking this cock”. You moaned as you felt Jungkook stretching you out, you could only see darkness which caused you to clench on him. He hissed “Y/N please don’t clench like that baby I might cum within seconds.” he laughed. His laugh brought a smile to your face, you definitely felt comfort in Jungkook’s arm.

Jungkook spent his time thrusting into you repeatedly, you could feel yourself about to cum soon as your walls started to tighten around Jungkook’s cock. “K-kook I’m going to cum” you moaned as you gripped Jungkook’s back hard. “F-fuck okay I think I’m going to cum soon too Y/N, want me to cum inside you?” he asked heavily panting as he continued to thrust into you. “Yes come inside me I know you want to Kook” Jungkook’s heart felt like it was going to explode he was doing this for you but he smiled as you cared about his feelings too. You knew that the both of you probably won’t ever do this again which is why you agreed. 

Jungkook changed positions as now you were sitting on his lap, He grabbed your waist making sure to help you with the pace. You wrapped your arms around him as you felt your orgasm hitting you “Jungkook ugh cum in me now” you whined as Jungkook thrust you through your orgasm and then cumming inside you.

You laid on top of Jungkook with his cock still inside you catching your breath. “You good Y/N? Let’s get you cleaned up, you can stay over if you want for the night I’ll sleep on the couch.” Jungkook offered as he slipped your blindfold off.  You nodded already feeling sleepy “Thank you kook, and I’m so so sorry. I really hope one day a person who deserves you a lot will love you” you teared up saying it because you didn’t want to hurt him he’s your friend who loves you and you weren’t sure if you liked him back.

Jungkook smiled as he slipped out of you “Y/N it’s okay I’m just happy that I could take your mind off things for a bit, if it all goes wrong just know I’ll welcome you with open arms” he said as he helped clean you up before handing you some extra clothes to put on.

2 weeks passed like it was nothing and soon enough it was Friday the day finals were due. “What color did you base your collage painting on kook?” you asked him. “Oh I based it on the color purple, apparently it signifies having creativity and I definitely think I represent that” he laughed. “You really love yourself, huh, but that’s a good thing so I can’t really make fun of you for it” you chuckled.

“What about yours Y/N?” with his question you paused before speaking “Well um it’s based around the color pink. I can’t go much into detail but basically this is my confession painting to Professor Min” you said blushing a bit, nervous to speak to Professor Min after weeks have passed. “Ah is that why you didn’t attach an explanation note to your painting,” he asked and you nodded. “Good luck Y/N, I hope everything works out and let me know if you guys get some,” he said wiggling his brows. You laughed and playfully pushed him.

Professor Min walked in and stood in front of the class. “Alright everyone today is your last class with me today. Don’t worry we aren’t going to be doing anything today. All you have to do is bring your canvas up to the front of the room and make sure your explanation notes are attached to your paintings. I hope you all have a wonderful summer break” Professor Min smiled as students started to submit their paintings and then walk out the classroom.

Jungkook patted you lightly on the back and gave you a thumbs up before leaving the classroom. You smiled and started to pack up your things slowly as you waited for Professor Min to notice that you didn’t attach a note to your painting.

“Miss Y/N please come to my desk, the rest of you drop your paintings here and go” he stated.

Here we go, you exhaled before walking over to his desk. “Yes Professor Min?” you asked fully knowing what he was going to tell you. “I don’t see an explanation note attached to your painting,” he said as he looked up at you for the first time in weeks. “I didn’t write one,” you said plainly. “Well since you didn’t write one I am going to have to give you a-” before Professor Min could continue you cut him off “I love you Yoongi,” you said looking at him for a reaction.

“Y/N wha-” he said in a surprised tone. “My painting, it’s my response back to your confession Yoongi. I found love and it’s you” you told him as you started to blush. “Really?” he asked and you nodded.

“Fuck come here Y/N” Yoongi called and you obliged and sat on his lap to start kissing him. “Gosh so that means your mines now?” he asked as he started to undress you. “Y-yes I’m yours now Yoongi officially” you let Yoongi undress you as you stared at his eyes while he was doing so. Yoongi paused as he saw bite marks over your chest. “Y/N where did these marks come from” as you didn’t answer he inserted two fingers into your pussy thrusting them in. “Who did it Y/N tell me right now or I won’t give you my cock,” he said sternly as you cried out “Jungkook Jungkook did them!”

Yoongi chuckled “Where’s your phone Y/N” you pointed to your desk. Yoongi pulled out his fingers as he made his way over to your desk. “What’s the password,” he asked. “Bluemyg” he typed in the password as he started to look for Jungkook’s number in your contacts and pressed call when he found it. Jungkook immediately answered of course because it’s you.

“Did everything go well Y/N?” Jungkook asked. “Come to my class Jungkook right now,” Yoongi said as he hung up the phone turning it on silent. “Yoongi what are you doing?” you wanted to know why in the world did he call Jungkook over when you’re naked on his desk. Yoongi didn’t answer you back and slid his cock inside you “Fuck even after Jungkook fucked you he left you nice and tight for me” Yoongi chuckled.

Jungkook entered into the classroom to see Professor Min with his cock inside you. “H-huh,” Jungkook said as his eyes were blown wide. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth,” Yoongi said not giving Jungkook an explanation. Jungkook just stood there trying to process what’s going on.

You moaned out “Jungkook just do it, it’s okay!”. With permission on your end, Jungkook unzips the front of his pants and pulls his cock out. He made his way over and placed his cock right above your mouth. “Y/N suck,” Yoongi demanded. You opened your mouth to take Jungkook in while looking up into his eyes.

“Isn’t she gorgeous Jungkook, taking two cocks at the same time with the door wide open for anyone to see,” Yoongi said as he continued to thrust into you. Jungkook nodded as he guided your head to suck his cock. You could barely think about anything when you had two cocks occupying your holes. You pulled away from Jungkook’s cock “I-I’m going to cum”. “Jungkook put your cock in her mouth again and cum when I say so okay?” Yoongi said as Jungkook agreed while thrusting his cock back into your mouth.

You started to clench harder around Yoongi’s cock as you whined while having Jungkook’s cock deep in your throat. “Cum” at that moment Jungkook and Yoongi started to pound into you and release their load. Your vision blacked out after your orgasm.

“Is she okay?” Jungkook asked as Yoongi closed the classroom door and pulled down the shades. “She’ll be fine, I think she was overwhelmed by taking the both of us,” Yoongi responded as he went over to you to start cleaning you up with wipes. “I’m not sure if Y/N will be okay with it, we’ll have to get her opinion on it, but I don’t mind having you in the relationship as well Jungkook I know you love her too,” Yoongi suggested. Jungkook’s eyes widened “R-really? Prof- Yoongi are you sure” Jungkook asked not expecting this. Yoongi nodded “I’m super sure” he smiled.

You opened your eyes to look to the right to see both Yoongi and Jungkook talking. “Did I pass out?” you asked making your presence known. Both of them looked at you and nodded. “Y/N how about adding Jungkook into our relationship?” Yoongi asked immediately. Your gaze turned to Jungkook expecting your answer “I-I don’t mind….I know you thought I didn’t love you Jungkook but after that night my feelings started to develop for you.” you smiled “I love you both” you said as you walked up to the both of them and kiss them both on the lips. 

“Since we’re still sorta naked how about we make a body painting collage using all the colors we can” Jungkook suggested.

“I’m all in for it what about you Yoongi?” you asked looking at him. He laughed “Wow this is going to be a long day, let’s do it!”

✈ Um hi! I hope you enjoyed my very first fic on tumblr. Please leave me feedback down below whether it’s good or bad. I will start working on getting a masterlist post soon! Feel free to ask me questions or make comments on ‘Ask Starrymin’.

✈ I will try my best to get the Mother’s day Barista!Namjoon x Single Mother!Reader fic done this week. My plan was to get it done today however colors took me much longer than I thought. So please wait a little more until I upload it!

✈ Anyways I hope you all have a wonderful day! Please stay safe and healthy. Also I’d like to wish Happy mother’s day to all the moms out there and even mother like figures too! 

→ Feel free to support me on Kofi

→ My BTS fic recs

#bts x reader #bts x reader angst #bts x reader fluff #bts x reader smut #Yoongi x reader #Yoongi x reader smut #Yoongi x reader fluff #Yoongi x reader angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader angst #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x reader fluff #poly bts #poly yoongi #poly jungkook #bts x reader poly #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook #yoongi #jeon jungkook #min yoongi #painter yoongi

[tsukkiscake]

what goes on || tsukki x reader || ch. 5

✰ previous || next

✰ masterlist

✰ taglist open!

✰ word count: 2k

During your middle school years, you were always in advanced classes. This meant being in class with some of the same kids every year. Tsukishima Kei was one of them. You guys had been in the same class for all of middle school. At the end of your last semester of middle school, you hear Tsukishima and another one of your classmates, Yamaguchi Tadashi, discussing their plans to attend Karasuno High School. Looks like another year of Tsukishima for you. This year, you were determined to become at least his friend. This was proving to be a lot harder than you originally intended.

Chapter Five: Something

After having told the entire team that Tsukki invited you to the practice match, Daichi, the captain, asked you to hang around practice for a couple of minutes to meet the rest of the team. Somehow, you thought they couldn’t get any weirder than they already were. But that’s when you met Kageyama and Hinata. 

You were in the midst of introducing yourself to the other second years, Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita. They seemed the most normal out of the entire team. But as you shook Narita’s hand, this orange-haired bullet broke the handshake by running right between you and Narita. 

You watched a taller, black-haired boy follow him. “BOKE HINATA!” 

“Wahoo!” The shorter one, Hinata, yelled as he jumped into the gym. “That’s 21 wins for me and 20 wins for you!” He celebrated, looking down at the black-haired boy from the steps of the gym. 

“Hm, whatever,” the taller one huffed, getting ready to walk into the gym. 

“Hinata, Kageyama, come here a second,” Daichi called over the two boys. “This is (Y/N), she’ll be coming to cheer us on at the Nekoma match.”

“I’m Hinata Shoyo!” He bounced in front of you and you shook his extended hand. 

“Kageyama Tobio,” the other one said. You smiled kindly and extended your hand to him, which he hesitantly shook. Like Daichi, his grip was firm and calloused, but his skin was extremely soft. 

You smiled at the two boys. “Nice to meet you, I’m excited to see you play!” 

You looked at the team around you. Yamaguchi was right, you did like them all. You could tell how passionate each and every one of them was about volleyball. The entire team was milling around you, all except Tsukishima, who at some point during introductions had walked into the gym, not caring to stick around. 

“I should get going now, it was really nice to meet you all. I’m excited to cheer for you guys against Nekoma!” You offered everyone a smile and bowed your head. 

“You’re not gonna stay and watch us practice?” Hinata asked, his head tilted to the side. 

“No I don’t think so, I want to be surprised when I see you guys play for the first time!” You laughed at the idea a little. “I’m gonna make sure to study up on volleyball so I know what’s happening in the match too!” 

“OOH okay! I’m excited for you to see me score all the points!” Hinata exclaimed before running into the gym. You laughed at his excitable personality. The boys on the team bid you farewell, but before you left, Yamaguchi stopped in front of you. 

“I know Tsukki didn’t actually invite you, but I’m excited for you to come,” he smiled. 

“How did you know?” 

“The look of pure rage on his face when you said he had invited you,” Yamaguchi laughed slightly. He reached into the pocket of his Karasuno Volleyball Club track jacket and handed you a folded note on his yellow stationery. “Here’s my phone number and Tsukki’s phone number. Text me later and I’ll send you all the details of the match,” Yamaguchi smiled. 

“Thanks, Yamaguchi. You’re a good friend,” you returned his smile. 

“Well, I better be going inside. Practice is about to start.” 

“Of course! Work hard for me!” You waved as he walked inside. Before walking away, you stuck your head in the gym. “Bye Tsukki! See you at the practice match!” You smiled at him, but he glared back at you. “Don’t call me that,” was all he said before returning to helping set the gym up. You huffed and walked away, deciding not to make him anymore upset. 

As you walked away, you removed your headphones from your bag and plugged them into your phone. You looked at your playlist, trying to decide which song to put on. You clicked on the song We’re Gonna Be Friends by The White Stripes. 

Back to school, ring the bell

Brand new shoes, walking blues

Climb the fence, books and pens

I can tell that we are going to be friends

____________________________________

The day before the match against Nekoma, you were at the market, picking up ingredients to make the strawberry shortcake for Tsukki. You were standing amongst the fresh fruit, deep in thought. 

“Hmm… only strawberries? Or lots of different berries?” You glanced at the racks of different fresh fruits. It was the evening, so you thought that Tsukki was probably done with training for the day. You pulled out your phone and clicked on his contact, hoping he would pick up. You hadn’t called or texted him yet, so you weren’t sure if he would answer the call. 

It rang four times, but as you were getting ready to hang up Tsukki finally picked up. 

“Who is this?” His tone was harsh. 

You scoffed. “What a way to greet a lady.” 

“(Y/N)? Why are you calling me? How did you get my number?” Tsukki’s voice was softer, but still cold as ice. 

“Well, I got it from Yamaguchi. And I’m calling to ask if you want only strawberries on your shortcake, or if you want strawberries and other berries.” 

“Hmm…” He thought about it for a moment. “Just strawberry is fine. I like it classic.” 

“Makes sense,” you picked up a box of strawberries and placed them in your shopping basket. “How’s training going?” You asked Tsukki, not wanting to hang up yet. 

“Why do you wanna know, runt?” 

“Wow, I can’t even be nice to my friends without being questioned. I’m just genuinely curious. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to though,” you shrugged your shoulders, even though Tsukki couldn’t see you. 

“Training is hard. I don’t know how some of these guys have endless stamina. By lunch everyday I’m ready to go back to sleep.” 

Your eyes widened. You didn’t expect him to answer your question, especially when you told him he didn’t have to. “Let me guess, you’re talking about Hinata and Kageyama? I only met them for a couple of seconds but the fact that they raced to the gym says a lot,” you laughed at the memory. 

“Yeah, they just keep going. I swear they’re little monsters or something,” Tsukki gave out an exhausted sigh. You laughed, picturing Hinata and Kageyama with fangs and claws. 

“Well, it sounds like overall, the camp is going well. I’m gonna bring your cake to the match tomorrow, so make sure you win!” You laughed slightly. “Oh also, can you do me a favor?” You asked him. 

“A favor? Why would I do you a favor?” 

“Because you love me Tsukki,” you say in a sing-song voice. 

“I’m hanging up.” 

“NO! I just wanted you to ask what baked sweets the team likes. I thought I could bring them something for after the match, since I’m bringing you cake,” you sighed. Talking to Tsukki could be exhausting. 

“Hmm… Okay, I’ll ask them. Give me a second.” You heard a muffled sound, as if he put his phone against his chest. 

You wandered through the shop, picking up other ingredients for the shortcake, waiting for Tsukki to respond. 

“Do you know how to make Nama Chocolate?” 

“I mean yeah, that’s not a baked good, but I can definitely make it if that’s what the team wants!” You smiled and began to search for the ingredients. 

“It’s the only thing everyone can agree on, so I think that’ll be fine,” Tsukki said. 

“Okay! I’ll prepare everything tonight! I should get going, it’s already getting late and I have a couple hours of baking to look forward to! Bye, Tsukki.”

“Don’t call me that, runt. Bye,” he hung up first. 

You put your phone away and took your basket to the counter to check out. You paid for the ingredients and placed them in your reusable tote bags, leaving the market and heading home. 

On the walk back to your house, you thought about Tsukki. You didn’t mean to, but your mind wandered from baking shortcake to the guy who would be eating said shortcake. You thought about how hard it seemed to be to please Tsukishima. 

“Hopefully he likes the cake,” you said out loud and sighed. 

_________________________________

The next morning, you were up and out of the house with the sweets by 8:15. Before leaving your house, you had carefully wrapped the nama chocolate and placed them in a bento box. As for the cake you were bringing Tsukki, it was placed in a reusable tupperware, specifically for cakes. Due to both sweets needing to be somewhat chilled, you tucked them in a cooler bag that you had slung over your shoulder. 

The morning air was still chilly, so you were wearing light washed denim jeans and a gray knit jumper. Your (H/C) hair was down, and you had two berets in to keep loose strands of hair out of your face. 

Yamaguchi told you to be at the Karasuno Sports Park at 9:00. That was about a forty minute walk from your house, so you had on a pair of comfortable sneakers. You put your headphones on and got ready for the trek to the sports complex. You shuffled your favorite playlist and slung the cooler bag over your shoulder. 

Something by the Beatles rings through your headphones. 

Something in the way she moves

Attracts me like no other lover

Something in the way she woos me

_______________________________________

You arrived at the Karasuno Sports Park right at 9:00. Yamaguchi told you what gym they’d be in, so you followed the signs pointing to Gym B. 

You could hear the squeaking of volleyball shoes against the hard wooden floor. You smiled to yourself and followed the signs directing you to the seating area above the court. You didn’t want to interrupt their warmups before the practice match started. 

You wandered into the seating area and sat down in one of the blue plastic chairs that gave you a good view of the entire court. You watched the Karasuno team warm up, not realizing you were kind of staring at Tsukishima as he warmed up.

You smiled and watched them practicing serves, receives, and spikes. After the warmups were conducted, the teams retreated back to their coaches for quick pep talks. After the Karasuno coach gave them a talk, Daichi stepped in. You could hear him from your spot up in the stands. 

“Let's play our best today! And remember we have someone here to cheer us on!” 

You could feel your cheeks warm up as the entire team turned their heads towards where you were sitting. You gave them a wave and a thumbs up. 

“Good luck today!” You yelled, from up in the stands. You smiled, and the entire team smiled back. All except for Tsukki, who had that same expressionless look on his face. “Tsukki! Good luck!” You flashed him peace signs. His eyes widened at you giving him a separate ‘good luck’ from the rest of the team. You saw him nod his head and turn away from you, going to get a drink from his water bottle. 

The entire team was buzzing with enthusiasm, you could feel it radiating off of them. You were extremely excited to see the team play. Each member got into position, and you noticed that Tsukki was a starting player. You smiled, sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation, waiting for the game to begin. 

The captains chose who would receive first and who would serve first. They returned to their respective spots on the court, and Nekoma’s #5 went to the serving line first. 

You held your breath as the whistle blew, signifying the start of the first set. 

✰ chapter five! yay! i’m really getting into writing this story! when it comes to things like matches, i’m not going to go into too much detail about them, because we’ve all seen them played out in the anime/manga. i might highlight some important parts but that’s about it!

✰ also, i’m going to incorporate more types of music into the story, because i want to use it as a bridge between you and tsukki! 

✰ thank you all for the support, i am excited by every single like, reblog, comment, and follow you guys send my way. i love you all! 

✰ taglist: @mitiyou​ @goopycookie​ @freyafolkvangr​ @luckynumberseven​ @akaashislefttoe​ @animeanxiety​ @ysasian​ @childoftheplanets​ @tooru-bread @flouffyy​

✰ thank you to @1lazyb-tch​ for beta reading for me and helping out! 

✰ here’s the link to the ‘what goes on’ playlist! 

✰ let me know if you wanna be on the taglist! 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu-hcs #haikyuu fic #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima fic #haikyuu tsukki #tsukki #tsukki x reader #hq tsukki #i love tsukki so much please let me kith him #what goes on fic

[addierose444]

A Typical Week: Spring 2021

Before getting into the actual content, I thought I would just point out that this is my 100th blog post! You can check out the full list here. 

As noted in my fall 2020 version of this post, my week is primarily dictated by my current course schedule. (To check out all of my past courses, click here). Furthermore, the way I write these posts is to focus on academics as they're a big part of my life, but also the most natural thing to write about publicly. This post should give you a realistic sense of the structure of my week and courses. I thought it may be useful to contrast expectations and reality when it comes to productivity. Early in the semester, I mapped out my idealized homework schedule around my meetings and assignment deadlines. The first row lists deadlines. The other rows are split by my meals (lunch and dinner). Even if I don’t strictly follow the schedule, spending the time to map things out is quite useful. To write about my real schedule, I actually looked back through data from my time tracking application, Toggl Track. I know this is a very long post, but it wasn’t really interesting enough to become a two-parter. 

A typical school day starts off with my 9:00 (or 9:10) alarm. I also often have a second alarm set for 9:15 as a backup. Here at college, I simply use the default clock app on my phone and have it play from my favorites playlist on Spotify. I very occasionally need to wake up earlier to finish up an assignment as midnight is my strict cutoff for doing work. I know a consistent sleep schedule is very important, but it’s definitely something I struggle with.

Monday:

My week begins with a 9:20 math class. The specific course is math methods which as previously explained is an applied math course from the physics department that is required for physics and engineering majors. We usually start off by going over the pre-class check in (PCCI) and/or other questions students have. This review is followed by a lecture on new material. Throughout the class, we work through example problems in breakout rooms (on Zoom whiteboards) and answer multiple-choice questions using the poll feature. (The poll questions are anonymous and ungraded). Partway through the class, we get a 4-minute break. One nice thing about this class is that we actually thoroughly go through the example problems when we regroup as an entire class. This is important because, without feedback, practice is of limited utility. Furthermore, going over the problem gives me a chance to get everything into my notes. The integration of lectures with practice is something I really appreciate about this course. In past math classes, the format has been a lecture followed by a worksheet of practice problems. While that model sometimes makes sense, I much prefer this integrated approach.  One issue with leaving practice until the end is that you sometimes run out of time and don’t catch knowledge gaps until the end of class. After math methods, I get a 20-minute break during which I often listen to the latest episode of The Daily (a short new podcast from the New York Times). 

Next up is my philosophy of logic class which starts with a few minutes of breathing and stretching. On the first day of class, I thought this was a really strange thing, but have come to appreciate it. Afterward, we go over any relevant announcements and sometimes debrief the previous class. This class is different from my other classes in that it is reading and discussion-based. We spend most of the class in the main room strengthening our understanding of the reading through full class discussions and mini-lectures. Even though the class is already very small (13 students), we also make use of breakout rooms to work through study questions. Our tests are pyramid style which means we spend one class period working independently and another class on the same questions in a small group. We also have short quizzes, called mini check-ins,  every few weeks. Next up is lunch during which I sometimes listen to a podcast or audiobook. You can check out some of my favorite podcasts and books of 2020 at the associated links.

After lunch, I have my computer systems lab. The teaching assistant of my lab section starts off with a quick introduction to the assignment. We then work independently and ask questions as they come up. Even though we don’t really work collaboratively the lab is sort of fun because it’s less formal than a regular class. For the first part of the semester, the lab assignments often took way longer than the allotted time (and sometimes longer than our projects) so I often spent more of the afternoon finishing up the assignment. Fortunately, the course staff was made aware of this issue and adjusted accordingly. Just for some context, this course is a UMass class which is why there is a whole course team and teaching assistants. To read more about Five College course registration click here. At Smith, while some classes have teaching assistants who help out during class, all of the classes are taught and run by our actual professors. We also have student tutors as an academic resource outside of class. To read more about academic support systems at Smith, click here. 

After finishing up my lab assignment, I start in on my math methods PCCI. A typical PCCI consists of reading a section or two of the textbook (written by our professor) and completing a short practice problem or so-called discovery exercise. Depending on the week, I either start in on my reading assignment for my computer systems class or logic class. At 4:00, I have my weekly one-on-one meeting with my supervisor for my ResLife job. Following the meeting, I relax by listening to music or an audiobook. At 5:00, I order, pick up, and eat my dinner. After dinner, I complete any remaining readings for my computer systems and logic classes. If I haven’t yet completed my lab assignment or have an exam the following day, I devote some of the night to circuits. Otherwise, I may work on a computer systems project or theory of computation assignment. 

Tuesday:

Tuesday’s are my busiest day of the week in terms of class hours. With that said, it’s nothing compared to my Thursdays last fall. I start Tuesdays off with my circuits class. During class, we learn new circuit theory and circuit analysis techniques. We also go through example problems. While we often run out of time to fully work through the extra practice problems in breakout rooms, fortunately, my professor posts videos going over those problems. After taking our feedback into account, we now get a break partway through the class. Each lecture covers a lot of material, so the brain/screen break is much appreciated. To check in on how the class is feeling about various concepts, our professor has us use the annotation feature on a scale from totally get it to totally lost. 

After circuits is my 20-minute break followed by my theory of computation lecture. The theoretical nature of the material means that it really is a lecture. While we obviously go through examples, there aren’t really practice problems as there would be in a math class. We use the chat to some extent in all of my classes, but to a greater degree in this course. Next up is lunch and a COVID test. At 1:40 I am back to circuits for the lab. Most of the labs are virtual with physical lab equipment, but a few have been in-person so that we could use special equipment. Ironically, one of our in-person labs was actually fully virtual in terms of lab equipment. (We were sitting on the lawn outside of Ford together and running circuit simulators on our laptops). Fortunately, we don’t usually need to stay until 4:30. I tend to just collect my data, ask some questions about the material, and then finish up the write-up at a later point in time. This time block is also the one used whenever we have an exam. 

I always start by doing the textbook reading for circuits. I don’t read super closely, but it’s still a good primer for the next class. In terms of other work, Tuesdays are a bit more unpredictable and really depend on how much I got done over the weekend. Specifically, while I usually finish my math methods assignment over the weekend, occasionally I need to finish it up on Tuesday evenings. Likewise, for circuits, I sometimes finish the last few problems on a Tuesday evening. At 7:00, I have a staff meeting with the other community advisors in my neighborhood and our supervisor. Our meetings usually take place over Zoom, but our most recent one was in-person with ice cream from Herrell’s which was a lot of fun. You can read about some other Northampton food locations (restaurants, cafes, and more) here. In weeks where I haven’t yet started my computer systems work, I do what I would usually have done on a Monday on a Tuesday. 

Wednesday:

Wednesdays are similar to Mondays without the computer systems lab and ResLife meeting. In the afternoon I often attend office hours for my theory of computation class to ask questions about the weekly assignment. Even though I don’t have my logic class until the following Monday, I usually just do the reading on Wednesday afternoon. On Wednesday evenings, I typically work through my circuits revisions. I also tend to do a good chunk of my computer systems coursework. This consists of watching lecture videos, taking notes, and taking lesson quizzes. Furthermore, I have definitely spent some Wednesday evenings working through computer systems projects. 

Thursday:

Thursdays are like Tuesdays without the circuits lab. Even though I have the whole afternoon free, unfortunately, I am sometimes having to finish up my theory of computation assignment. It’s also common for me to start working on the new math methods problem set. In the case of this Thursday, I played some guitar and then started writing this post. I also do my circuits reading for Tuesday and take the quick lab quiz. If I have any remaining computer systems coursework, I do that as well.  

Friday:

This semester I only have one class on Fridays, math methods. After class, I get a COVID test and an early lunch. I know it seems crazy how many free afternoons I have given that I am taking 22 credits and am a double STEM major. However, part of this is explained by my UMass computer systems course being asynchronous and the fact that I completed the one-credit companion course in C programming before my Smith semester started. My computer systems class was originally scheduled to meet Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons. Even though I wish the class was synchronous, the flexibility of an asynchronous class has been much appreciated. Furthermore, the class was in a terrible time block that would have caused me to miss most of house tea. Back to what a Friday afternoon looks like! After completing my PCCI for math methods, I often rewatch the lecture videos for computer systems (on double speed) and then take the weekly quiz. I next pick up tea snacks from Cutter-Z and attend house tea at 4:30. After tea, I order dinner and often eat it in the living room with housemates. Fridays are definitely my least productive day and I have definitely taken a few weekly quizzes on Saturday after having planned to take them on Friday. Instead of doing real work, I often spend Friday afternoons writing blog posts. As for this post, I wrote most of it yesterday but spent a good chunk of Friday afternoon on it as well. 

Saturday:

Despite my best efforts to have a consistent sleep schedule, I often sleep in on Saturdays until 10:00. I then have a leisurely hour or so of listening to an audiobook. At 11:00, I get an early lunch. As mentioned in the Friday description, I sometimes end up taking my weekly quiz for computer systems on Saturday. When I have tests in math methods, I typically take them on Saturday night. (The tests are timed but are self-scheduled over the given weekend which includes Friday). When there is not a math test, I often work on my math problem set in the afternoon. Every few weeks, I host POCheese at 4:00. This week we are actually going to be meeting at 5:00 for a ramen night! At 6:00 I have a uke club meeting over Zoom. In weeks where I have already finished my math problem set and don’t have a test, I start in on my circuits problem set.

Sunday:

Sundays start like Saturdays in that I often have a leisurely morning. At 11:00 I get a COVID test and an early lunch. Sundays are almost always devoted to my circuits. This includes working through the problems set, the lab writeup, or studying for an upcoming exam. If my Saturday wasn’t as productive as intended, I do the homework described in that section. At 6:00 I have a Society of Women Engineers (SWE) board meeting. At 7:00, I either lead a community meeting (part of my ResLife job) or attend house council. Afterward, I fill out my weekly report (also part of my ResLife job).

#college #Smith College #academics #schedule #week in my life #homework #spring 2021

[yourlocalenglishmajor]

Commonplace Book

Hello everyone! This is my first post on this blog, and it is going to be a project for my college English course! Feel free to read through it if you’re interested; if not, that’s okay, this is really just for my professor ^^

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Piece 1: “Big Guns, Small Dicks”

Unfortunately, this piece does not have a specific author or creator; I found it on State Street in Madison last summer. It is an anonymous piece of graffiti that speaks to the movement it was created during. For those who may be less familiar with Madison, Wisconsin, it is considered a very liberal and even leftist city, especially with how frequent and powerful the Black Lives Matter protests were. This was created during those protests, as well as hundreds of other works all along historic State Street. As ACAB - All Cops Are Bastards - protests went hand in hand (usually) with BLM protests, the phrase “Big guns, small dicks” is a jibe at the police and its racist foundations and use of excessive force.

It best relates to class through the conversations about race and equity we’ve had. Our readings have been centered around a diverse cast of authors instead of the one viewpoint of the cisgender, heterosexual white man, which is something the BLM movement also aimed to achieve. In addition, although it has not been a focal topic yet, we have talked about police brutality and how it impacts POC most; another key point of the BLM movement. Lastly, we talked about what mythic America, or the American Dream, really is, and why it is never realized for so many people. The Black Lives Matter movement is all about how the American Dream is something almost no one can truly achieve, and how it leads to othering and a sense of disillusionment with the effectiveness of our society.

Piece 2: Vonnegut’s Slapstick

For my second piece, I chose to utilize a work of a famous satire writer to draw comparisons to our coursework. As for the image, I took a picture of the copy I own and edited it. Kurt Vonnegut’s Slapstick centers around two twins who are geniuses together, but entirely stupid on their own; they are neglected by their parents, who are a family of renown and ashamed of having deformed children. Their parents look at them as if they are to be pitied for the very nature of their existence. They use this to sneak around and live lives of luxury, continuing this ruse of being entirely stupid so that they may live as freely as possible in their circumstances. 

In this work, the children are quite literally tossed in a house and locked away to prevent others from seeing them; this is something I personally connect to the concept of silencing, which happened frequently during the BLM movement. Protesters, peaceful or not, were arrested; protests were escalated by cops far more often than by protesters, but that was generally ignored and used as a way to disregard the protests as nothing more than “riots”; large platforms such as Twitter and Instagram incorrectly labelled some posts as “misinformation”. Voices were silenced all over the internet. In addition, some white allies were not using their platforms to actually help/spread information, but were using them to spew white guilt and accomplish very little. As L. Ayu Saraswati says in her textbook Introduction to Women’s, Gender & Sexuality Studies, Interdisciplinary and Intersectional Approaches, “Guilt as a response to...racism...does very little to contribute to efforts toward social change as it recenters whiteness” (page 15), basically saying yes, these folks are speaking their mind and are at least partially aware of their privilege, but their feelings of guilt without taking action are not actually doing anything to help what they feel guilty for.

Piece 3: The Hymn to Demeter

My last selection will be an ancient work known as the Hymn to Demeter, and the version I am using is translated by Gregory Nagy. I am using this statue of Demeter and Persephone as the visual accompaniment to this analysis. This piece was originally written to be performed orally by a poet/performer as praise to Demeter. It details the kidnapping of Persephone, Demeter’s daughter, and the subsequent founding of the Cult of Demeter in the city Eleusis. 

When Persephone is first kidnapped, it is said that “she cried with a piercing voice, / Calling upon her father, the son of Kronos, the highest and the best. / But not one of the immortal ones, or of human mortals, / heard her voice” (lines 20-23). To me, this draws clear parallels with the silencing of victims of police brutality and their families. Public outrage did nothing to bring accountability to Breonna Taylor’s killers or the flawed justice system that let them get away with it. The victim’s family was silenced and the movement to convict her killers has died down since it happened almost a year ago. 

Additionally, it is later revealed to Demeter through Rhea that this kidnapping was not only endorsed by but planned by Zeus himself. As Greek households were patriarchal, it was not uncommon for a father to arrange a relationship/marriage without informing the daughter or allowing the daughter to meet her betrothed first. This endorsed act of violence can also be paralleled to the actions of the police; their brutality is actively supported by a flawed, racist justice system, just as the actions of Hades were actively supported by the all-powerful Zeus. What’s more, nobody stood up to Zeus or questioned his actions because of all the power he has, which is another perfect example of how this parallel functions.

Lastly, Demeter’s pure rage and grief is reminiscent of the rage and grief of the black mothers who lost their children to police brutality. Last semester, I attended a Theater of War performance known as “Antigone in Ferguson”, and after the performance was over, there was a discussion led by a panel of educators and victims of police brutality. Several of them were mothers who told painful stories of how their children, usually sons, were murdered and how they are still trying to find a way to keep living. Their powerful grief is parallel to Demeter’s; the only difference is that Demeter gets her child back.

A Meta-Commentary

My process in finding these works and deciding which would draw the best parallels was to find a bunch of subjects I thought would work well and then cut down on them. I knew the “big guns, small dicks” would be included for sure, as it was an image I took myself and had good parallels to draw right off the bat. It’s a good way to catch someone’s attention! And the message is powerful. Seeing all the graffiti on State Street last summer was impactful, but this simple phrase stood out to me and was (I believe) the only picture I took out of all the graffiti down there. The Kurt Vonnegut work I included because I like the comparison between how the twins are treated in the book and how folks who were active and open about their opinions were silenced; also, I’d be lying if I failed to mention that part of the reason is because I adore Kurt Vonnegut and wanted to find a way to bring a work of his into this. My third choice, the Hymn to Demeter, was chosen because it’s a cool way to connect one of my other classes to this one. In addition, it’s a good piece to reinterpret as an allegory for how the justice system enables the wrong people and fails the right ones.

Also, although I did not choose many direct quotes, I think the parallels I drew between the content of these works is substantial! I put a lot of thought into how I worded things and what content actually related best to the works of this class, specifically the themes we’ve discovered so far in Claudia Rankine’s Citizen. The heaviness of the book relates well to the power behind each of these pieces, especially the first one, as the message is plain and simple but impactful. The prose and structure of Rankine’s work is incredibly unique and not directly paralleled in any of the pieces I chose; however, the Hymn to Demeter is written in a very specific structure that is almost poetry? It’s a very confusing structure, because it does not seem to have any meter or consistency, but is still patterned in a specific way. This may be a result of translation, it may have been intentionally created this way by the original writer (who is not known; the transcript of this hymn was found in a stable in Moscow in 1777), or it could be a byproduct of the format itself as a hymn. The repetition Rankine takes advantage of in Citizen is actually something Vonnegut is known for as well. Several of his works have anaphoric phrases; Slaughterhouse V has both “po-tee-weet” and “and so it goes”, and Slapstick has the comedic “hi-ho”, used as a way to break the tension of the work, as it is supposed to be satire. This repetition and the more casual grammar these authors both share give their works a heavy feeling (cut far more frequently in Vonnegut’s than in Rankine’s) that also works as a conversational element, making both of the works feel like the audience is also in the narrative itself.

Commonplacing is a valuable step in making powerful literature more accessible to people! Providing unique and interesting analysis of a work makes it much easier for people to casually consume! Additionally, using platforms like Tumblr for this analysis makes things even more accessible, as anyone can see it and Tumblr allows posts to be any length! Opening thoughtful literature and analysis to the public like this also allows for good, guided conversation on a variety of subjects, and creates interest for the works in their entirety. This can easily inspire people to pick up a copy of their own of any of these works if someone is interested enough in how these can be interpreted! (If any of you are interested in the Hymn to Demeter, I used the one found at this website , it’s free ^-^)

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A big thank you to any of you who read this all the way through (including you, professor)! I’ll be doing more fun and less serious literary analysis on this account as well, so if that’s something you’re interested in, stay tuned!

#kurt vonnegut #claudia rankine #citizen #slapstick #kurt vonnegut slapstick #claudia rankine citizen #blm2021 #acab2021 #greek myth #greek mythology #demeter #persephone #zeus #the hymn to demeter #big guns small dicks #literary analysis #yourlocalenglishmajor #madison wisconsin #state street #state street madison wisconsin #hi professor #this is literally just for college you don't have to pay any attention to this lmao

[on-the-shelves]

on my shelf: soundtrack to my fourth year of uni - summer

I’m finally done with my Bachelor’s thesis! I might make a separate, more detailed post about it, since the topic is relevant for what this blog is about (of course it is haha), but for now I can say my topic was an analysis of the use of elements from the “Pop-Star-System” in building up a girlgroup career. I looked at the history of Pop-Stars and analysed the album covers of the Supremes’ first two albums, as well as the Spice Girls and Girls’ Generation’s first albums/physical releases. It was a lot of work, but I really enjoyed the topic. Oh and if anyone was wondering, I’m doing a Media Studies degree, which is why I could tackle such a cool topic.

Anyway! So working on my thesis took up my entire summer semester because I luckily didn’t have any classes left to attend, so I was thankfully spared the whole online class ordeal. The music I mentioned in my last post (”Quarantunes”) has mostly stayed on repeat in the past few months. Besides an ever steady stream of BTS, there are a couple of new things to add to the list:

Tomorrow X Together: The Dream Chapter: Eternity (2020)

Now THIS is the release I’ve been waiting for from them. Their previous album had one song that had a co-writing credit for one of the members (Hueningkai on “Rollercoaster”), but this album has more! We’re finally starting to hear their writing talents more. “Maze in the Mirror” was written/demo’ed entirely by one member (Beomgyu) and in the process of preparing it for this release the other members also wrote parts. It’s a beautiful, melancholic, and dynamic song that I can highly recommend for listening to before going to sleep. The lyrics talk about how unsure they felt before debuting. I can’t wait to hear more songs where they talk about their personal experiences, because clearly they’re good at it. In general this album is much darker than their previous two releases and they suit them well. The songs are more varied, too: You have the classic TXT style opening song, but the lead single “Can’t You See Me?” is full of angst, which is new for them. “PUMA” is like dark R&B, while “Fairy of Shampoo”, a reworked cover of a popular 1990s Korean song, is more city-pop. And then you have “Eternally” which reminded me of twenty one pilots’ “Ode to Sleep” in the way it completely changes up its style several times throughout the song. It’s all coherent and flows well from top to bottom though, and I think they’re well on their way to carving their own niche in the saturated and often same-same (k-) pop landscape.

Agust D: D-2 (2020)

He finally came back. SUGA of BTS last released a mixtape under his solo moniker Agust D in 2016. That one was very dark, brazen at times, and incredibly open and honest about his struggles, ending on a note of hoping that things will get better. This follow-up release makes it clear that Agust D has become a slightly different person in the past few years. He’s still brazen at times, but he has good reason to be, looking at how incredibly successful BTS has become since 2016. As always, he makes fun of those who decide to be haters but cleverly never gets too specific - if you feel attacked, that’s on you. There is a lot of introspection on this album too. It’s generally much less defeated or dark than on the 2016 self-titled release, but it’s still not all sunshine and rainbows. His problems have morphed -  he has now achieved his dreams, but it’s not quite what he expected it to be. There are a lot of thoughts about dreams, about what it means to grow up, about what his position in the world means and feels like. That sounds like it’s very focused on himself and might be inaccessible to us non-famous people, but that’s absolutely not the case. A lot of it are quite mundane questions that everyone asks themselves in their 20s, like “what am I doing with my life?” and “what kind of person am I really?”. He makes it clear that he doesn’t have the answers, but he somehow makes you feel comforted in that uncertainty. The musical style is more like current hip-hop, where Agust D was more like harder, older hip-hop, but retains his (especially recent) typical, very melodious style, with him even singing some choruses. There are various styles and interesting production choices that make for a varied, but cohesive listening experience. 

Hayley Williams: Petals for Armor (2020)

I mentioned this album in the “Quarantunes” post as well, but the full album was released after that went up, so it deserves another mention here. This album tells a story of an emotional journey towards healing, without ever getting preachy or feeling insincere. In several interviews Hayley mentions her therapy journey and learning to deal with her trauma and how this album helped with that. Listening to all the songs in order, a journey of self-discovery, -acceptance, and -empowerment is laid out. All these things are typically found in little things and learning to change your perspective. It’s Hayley’s most feminine work yet, in the sense that she’s embracing all of her different aspects: the delicate, the powerful, the rage, the love. Everything is wrapped in sounds inspired by Alternative music, but more, as said before, the Björks, Radioheads, and synth-y 80s artists, instead of loud guitar bands. My favourite songs are “Crystal Clear”, “Roses/Lotus/Violet/Iris”, “Over Yet”, “Cinnamon” and “Simmer”.

IU: Palette (2017)

When it was announced that IU and SUGA from BTS (two of the most popular artists in Korea) would release a collab song, I decided to check out her (IU’s) music more intensely, because I only knew one or two of her songs from the Dalkom Café playlist on Spotify. One of them is on this album, “Palette (ft. G-Dragon)”. This album, to me, best encapsulates IU’s sound: from heartbreaking ballads to satisfying light K-R&B, to slightly darker, groovy K-R&B (I think that’s the right genre term..), this one has them all. I’m not the biggest fan of ballads, but I enjoy IU’s voice so much that I don’t mind listening to them at all. I really love it, however, when she leaves that style behind for the slightly darker, or at least more pop sounds, like on “Palette”, but especially on “Jam Jam” and “Black Out”. She has a certain attitude on those songs that are slightly opposite of the pure, innocent image I previously had of her. It seems very sincere though, most likely because she writes on all of her songs. She has been utilising this style more often in recent years, on songs like “Bbibbi” and “Blueming” (both certified bops). “Eight”, the collab with SUGA, is an uplifting, yet bittersweet feeling pop anthem that almost feels like it could’ve been just a little bit longer. I’ll probably dive deeper into her lyrics soon and I’m excited for what I will find.

Sunmi: Warning (2018)

Last summer, Sunmi released the single “Lalalay” and I immediately loved it. I learned the choreography pretty much the week after I heard it the first time. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to have much other music on her Spotify page though, just a couple of older singles (which I also immediately loved). This year she released “pporappippam” (which is basically the romanization of the Korean title which translates to Purple Night), a bittersweet, nostalgic, summer pop song, like only Sunmi can do. Seriously, no one else in K-Pop is releasing music like hers, and they probably don’t even dare to try. For those who don’t know, she used to be in one of the historically most popular girlgroups Wonder Girls. But besides that, she has been releasing her own style of pop since she started releasing solo music and Warning (which they must’ve only recently put on Spotify in full) is a pretty good encapsulation of that sound. It’s almost like a mix between K-Pop and K-R&B, but more like IU’s moodier songs for example. It’s not flashy and sparkly, but it’s not full-on groove either. It’s a bit of both and it works perfectly for her. 

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Special mentions for new albums I haven’t listened to that much but do enjoy a lot: HAIM’s Women in Music Part III, Irene&Seulgi’s Monster, Taylor Swift’s folklore (released like a week before this post is published but it’s undeniably good and will get a longer write-up when I’ve had more time with it), Loona’s discography

#on my shelf #txt #agust d #hayley williams #iu #sunmi #music

[boymeetsweevil]

Slippery slopes ahead

Grouping: Thirsty!Reader x Confused!Jimin

Word Count: ~6.6k (NSFW)

Warnings/Themes: sad amounts of desperate thirst, BRUISE PLAY? is that real? either way its a big one. Sex. First time sex but neither of them is a virgin. Jimin thinks he knows was BDSM is and he’s wrong. for some reason every time i write jimin he has a slight panty fetish lmao

Summary: “Look at you,” he coos. “All this time I thought you were shy.”

A/N: I made a banner look :’) isn’t it beautiful, legible, and not at all ugly?? Also this shares a universe with my other fic Sleeping Bags as well as my contribution to the BSC Secret Santa project!!!!

“If I don’t sleep with Jimin on this trip, I think I’m going to die.”

Lisa is accustomed enough to your lust filled rants that she doesn’t stop packing her bags. She does, however, give you side-eye that is so full of vague disappointment that you actually feel ashamed for a fraction of a second.

“What? I can feel you judging me.” You wag your finger at her. “ But there’s nothing wrong with wanting sex. ” Your voice is slightly whiny. And it’s been whiny since you started dating Park Jimin.

Lisa merely huffs at you and folds yet another sweater before putting it in her suitcase. You stand with your hands on your hips, a pair of lacy panties dangles from your clenched fist. You look so serious that Lisa can’t take you seriously and her annoyance breaks with a snort.

“Nothing,” Lisa sighs. “It’s just the way you’re always gagging for it makes me embarrassed. For you.”

“So?”

“So this is technically a trip for the community service club and not for your 4 month-iversary or whatever.”

You sniff, opting to ignore her logic. “Well, I’ll stop gagging when he finally gags me.” You punctuate the statement with a petulant toss of the panties.

“Do you hear yourself right now?”

“Sorry, sorry. I just...” you stare into the distance. “He’s just so hot. And for what?”

If she couldn’t hear the actual words you were using, Lisa might think you were contemplating some grand theme of life. The bittersweet expression on your face is all too grave to be the result of a little horniness. Although, given how well Lisa knows you, perhaps she should give you a pass.

“You know, if this were a movie, we’d be failing the Bechdel test right now.”

“Oh, whatever. hat’s not even the most accurate measure of a film’s womanist content.”

“Look who was paying attention in class. Wow.” She adds another folded shirt to her suitcase. “If you’re dying of thirst why don’t you, I don’t know, talk to him?”

“I can’t. It’d give him a heart attack. He thinks I have, like, dick-phobia and that I probably couldn’t ever make it past third base.”

“Why the hell would he think that? Does he know know you?”

“Remember that time we went to Namjoon’s party and he asked to use my laptop to play the movie?”

Lisa’s mouth drops open with the memory. “Oh my god yeah. The thing with the porn.”

You both grow quiet as you recall the time that Kim Namjoon, a mutual friend of yours and Jimin’s, accidentally projected a porno from your laptop onto the giant screen instead of the dark comedy you and 20 other people had gathered to watch.

It had been a few weeks before the official start of  your relationship with Jimin, and you suppose he had misinterpreted your mortification. He probably thought your clammy hands and face were because you were worried people would judge you for being a fan of the video. Technically, that was what you were scared of. But only because you were worried people would judge the porno by its actors because they both weren’t 25 year old hotties instead of its quality. The video in question was of a woman with heinous lip fillers getting rawed by a man with a severely receding hairline. In truth, though, you’d learned to give the best head of your life from DSL Diana™️ and Matt Boner™️ always had great woman-friendly videos. They were a true power couple in the adult film world and only real aficionados would know that.

“Yeah,” you cringe to yourself and resume packing your own bag. “And that was before we even started going out. Since then, I can’t make any headway with him. If I try to put my hand down his pants, he stops and asks me if his fly is down.”

“Oh. My god.” Lisa balks at how easily you overshare. “W-well, maybe he’s waiting until what he thinks is the right moment to have sex.”

“I mean…I guess.” You shove more socks into your duffle. “But if that’s the case, this trip to the ski lodge should be more than good enough. For him, I mean. I’m not that picky after the other person is already locked down.”

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. How is this trip going to work when you can’t ski?”

“How do you know I can’t ski?”

Lisa snorts.

Right as the sun begins to set, the resort comes into view from the coach bus window. It's probably a beautiful sight, but you’re more fixated on the back of Jimin’s head. The look that you’re giving him itself isn’t one that’s warm or passionate. Instead you’re wondering what’s going on in his head as he presses himself to the window to get a better look.

“I still can’t believe we actually managed to get a suite at Crystal Snow.” He points to the glimmering slopes and turns to you with an excited smile. “They import their own snow when the winters are too warm for it to happen naturally. Last year they imported 6 million tons last year.”

“Global warming. Nice.”

His smile is so bright that you can’t hold on to your annoyance. You lean forward so you can rest your chin on his shoulder and listen to him spout off more facts about the different courses and the state of the art grounds. As soon as you move into his space, one of his hands gravitates to your knee and squeezes lightly. The urge to push his hand higher up your thigh appears, but you ignore it and try to focus on the things he’s saying.

“So, are you gonna spend all vacation on the hardest one? The—what’s it called? The black diamond?”

He turns to peer down at you with amusement creasing the corners of his eyes. “How can I do that and teach you to ski at the same time?”

“Why does everyone think I can’t ski?”

“Can you?”

“I…don’t know.”

“I’ll be a good teacher, I promise.” He plants a chaste kiss on your temple.

The resort looks as lavish as it appeared on the website, and you find yourself pleasantly surprised. As a prize for beating the other community service clubs on campus for the most funds raised for that semester’s cause, you and the other club members were all awarded a trip to Crystal Snow resorts. It seemed antithetical to the clubs’ mission statements, but you all decided to go anyway because the money to pay for the trip couldn’t be donated and the tickets were non-transferrable.

The suite itself cost a pretty penny, but the package it came with seems worth it. Attendants even come to pick up all the club members’ bags and take them ahead to the suite while you browse through the resort convenience store at the base of the mountain. Jimin and the other people in the club are scattered across the resort. Some of them already unpacking in their rooms while others came with you to the store.

Wishful thinking brings you to the aisle for ‘intimate health’. If anyone asks, you’re there to buy tampons, but you’re really hoping to sneakily buy some condoms. You still haven’t choked down your pride long enough to have an honest conversation with Jimin, so you’re hoping the moment will just pop up on its own.

Another girl stands at the very end of the aisle, ambling towards the little display of makeup that stands nearby. You pay her no mind and pick up the first package to catch your eye. A tap on your shoulder startles you and causes the box to slip from your grasp.

“Oh! Sorry,” she bends down to grab the dropped box. “I just wanted to ask you if you use concealer.”

From what you can tell, she seems to be around your age, maybe a little older. You peer down at the display she’s standing by and you try to search your brain for a brand name that sounds familiar. A small tube in the corner with memorable packaging helps you out.

“I think I’ve used this one, actually. It works pretty well, but if you use the wrong product under it, it gets a little flaky.”

“But the coverage is alright?” You nod. “I see.”

“You don’t look like you need it, though. Your skin is so clear.”

She chuckles nervously and begins to play with your condoms before she gestures daintily to her eyes. “It’s for the dark circles.”

At that moment, a boy with fiery hair comes barreling around the corner, calling the girl’s name. She turns and immediately a bright smile emerges on his face. You watch as he wraps himself around her before noticing the condom box she’s holding discreetly. He plucks it up before either of you can let him know they’re yours and brings them to the light to read the print on them. She locks eyes with you, embarrassment evident, but you offer what you hope is a comforting smile. You figure it’s easier to just get another box.

“Hope the concealer works out.” You back away to give her some privacy when the guy leans to stage-whisper into her ear.

“I appreciate the thought, but I’m sadly not a Magnum guy. Trojans work just fine for me.”

“Oh my god, why are you so loud?”

“I don’t think a 3-pack would be enough either.”

“Hoseok, lower your voice. And put those back, they’re not for us. They were hers.”

The guy with the red hair has dragged the girl away to look at something else. You watch until they disappear, letting out a chuckle. A few wispy tendrils of jealousy manifest in your stomach, but you try to stamp them out with optimism. If you buy condoms of your own, maybe it’ll have the same effect as those mantras Lisa always says before a test when she’s trying to will a good grade into existence. You figure Jimin is worth the effort.

But, as you fall on your butt for the sixth time the next afternoon, you’re not certain any amount of sex, no matter how good, is worth the pain you’re feeling currently.

You hobble back upright as best you can without disturbing your skis too much. Someone skiing behind you zooms by and you can hear their sympathetic laughter fly by with them. Fuck skiing. You don’t remember why you thought going on this trip would ever be fun.

“That fall looked hard. Are you okay?”

Jimin glides up next to you with an elegance you’ll never be able to replicate. Even the snow billows out softly in a sparkling cloud when he stops. He gives you a clinical pat-down, asking you where it hurts. You can hardly feel anything through the multiple layers and puffy coat that your wearing, so you bask in the physical contact instead.

“I’m fine, Minie.”

“You sure? We could take a break. Get some tea or something.”

“No, that’s okay. You go ahead and ski with the other professionals and I’ll stay here and practice the bunny slope.”

There’s something hilarious about watching Jimin squirm so much over such a trivial thing. He stands there, decked out in his professional gear, gnawing at the inside of his cheek as he contemplates. Does he finally go off to the exciting courses where he can get as close as possible to fulfilling his dream of flying? Does he help you stay upright, an impossible and menial task?

“Okay, I got it. Maybe you practice the pizza french fry thing the instructor taught you while I go do one pass through the other course. Then I swear I’ll come back and help you.”

“Jimin, you really don’t have to spend all this time helping me. How about you go do all the run throughs you like and you make it up to me later?”

His responding smile is shy but full of joy at the prospect of actually getting to ski. He shuffles forward, careful not to interlock your skis, and kisses you softly. He tries to pull away after only a few seconds of a chaste press of lips, but you deepen the kiss. Although it was really only a sly swipe of tongue, it has Jimin looking dazed and confused when he finally pulls back.

“Did you hit your head?”

There’s a joking lilt to his voice, but his eyes narrow as he takes you in. You still look like a marshmallow in your puffer coat and you still seem just as sweet. But the kiss was suspicious.

“Go have fun,” you wave him off before he can interrogate you further.

You wait until he disappears into a ski lift before turning around and hobbling back to the top of the gradual hill. Some of the younger club members are chatting up there and you use your seniority to make them practice with you until you can’t take it anymore.

Right before your limbs lose the ability to support your weight, you trudge back to the nearest entrance. You’re grateful for the warm air blowing in the elevator and for the fact that there is an elevator in the first place. Once inside, you strip layer by layer until you reach the room you and Jimin share in the suite.

All of the rooms in the suite are separated by small hallways that lead to a chic communal space with a picturesque view of the grounds. No one seems to be present when you finally make it through the door. You’re partly grateful because you can go shower in peace without having to worry about making small talk with other club members.

True to your agenda, you gather all the things needed to aid you in seducing Jimin. It’s mainly just soap and barely there underwear. It’s not until you begin stripping that you realize there might be a few issue. The first being that your muscles are all sore and exhausted as you struggle out of your snow-soaked clothes. But the main issue is the large bruises that show up as soon as all of your clothes are gone.

It’s true, you bruise easily. But these bruises look bad even to you. You count half a dozen muted reddened blooms sprawling across your torso. In the mirror of the bathroom, you turn to look at them. It’s almost impressive.

“We’ll just do it with the lights off,” you mumble to yourself.

The shower is longer than would be perfunctory, but the return of feeling to your toes seem rather important and the heat of the water helps in undoing some of the tension buried in the muscles that you didn’t realize you don’t regularly use until today. Right as you’re pulling on some loose pants and a shirt, you hear footsteps.

“Jimin?”

“Yeah,” he calls from somewhere outside the bathroom.

“How was it?”

You emerge from the bathroom in a sweet-smelling cloud and his first instinct is to open his arms to beckon you into them. Gladly you jump into them, causing him to fall backwards with a thud. With most of his layers still on, the fall is broken and there’s no harm done.

“The hills were great.” His eyes cloud over briefly with the memories of skiing.

He pats your hip lightly and you roll over so he can start shedding his own soggy layers. You watch him shrug off his vest, revealing a thermal athletic shirt. The fabric is opaque and covers his entire torso, but it's also tight enough to mold to his physique like a second skin. Under his snow pants, the matching thermal tights he’s wearing also reveal the architecture of his sculpted thighs, though his thick socks give his feet a teddy bear quality. The planes of his slender frame and compact muscles are a sight to behold and you feel a prickling in the palms of your tightly clasped hands. You’re itching to touch him.

“You checking me out?” He smiles cheekily and stands so he can shuck off the rest of his wet clothes.

“Of course,” you breathe. Your candid answer startles a full-bodied laugh out of him.

“What’s gotten into you this today?”

“Not you” you whisper.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just said I’m still a little cold, even after the shower. Why don’t we watch a movie in the bed and I can leech some of your body heat.”

“Yeah, as soon I get cleaned up. I really worked up a sweat while I was out there. I was racing Jungkook. He’s fast but his form is just okay. Plus, he’s a dick.”

It takes you all of the time that Jimin is in the shower to pick the perfect pose on the bed. Something that isn’t too obviously thought out while also highlighting all of your assets as best you can while wearing such loose clothing. It’s times like these where you curse yourself for not having any loungewear that’s figure-friendly, but you have enough trouble as it is sleeping in pants, let alone constricting ones. You finally settle for lying on your side with your back facing the entrance of the bedroom. It puts your ass on display—especially given that you tugged you pants down a little to let the lace of your underwear peep out. With your phone in your hands, you’re certain you look like the picture of nonchalance.

At the sound of his footsteps entering the bedroom again, you deliver your lines

“Oh, how long have you been out of the shower? I got so wrapped up in my feed, I didn’t notice you were out.” You quickly refresh your email despite the fact that your inbox is very much empty.

“Just got out. Did you pick a movie?”

“No, I figured you could pick it and if I don’t like it I’ll just take a nap.”

You turn and instantly regret it. Jimin stands with the shirt he plans to put on in one hand, leaving him bare from the waist up. His face is covered by the towel he’s using to scrub at his wet hair. When he finally throws on the shirt, a small sigh leaves you.

He hops into the bed and hands you the remote before dragging you into his hold. The way his arms wrap around you means he’s pressing slightly into one of the bruises that spreads across the side of your rib cage. There’s a low twinge of pain, but since cuddling with Jimin is part of the plan, you don’t say anything. You click through the movie listing because he’s too busy with you to hold the remote.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to watch this one?”

“Yeah,” he nuzzles his nose into your cheek, “but I heard it got shitty ratings at the box office.”

“Oh. What about this one? The trailer looked really good.”

“I thought it was my turn to pick.”

He squeezes you to complement his faux-whines, pressing the bruise harder. Underneath the mild pain is a surprising layer of something else. It’s hard to decipher and registers as vaguely smoky in your senses. All you know is that it’s not actually that bad of a sensation.

“I-it is your turn. I just want to make sure that you see all the options.”

A few more minutes pass until you finally choose a movie. Jimin picke a movie about anthropomorphic vegetables because he has a surprisingly awful sense of humor. If your goal was to actually sit down and watch a movie, you’d be debating his choice. But you don’t care and instead work on subtly pulling down the collar of his t-shirt so you can get to his neck.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. You just smell nice.” In the juncture of where his shoulder meets neck, you inhale deeply. “Right here.”

“Feels good.” He hums, eyes still glued to the gyrating broccoli stalk on the screen.

“Good.”

Starting slowly, you place tiny kisses on as much of his neck as you can reach. Your hands wander under his t-shirt and your fingers dig into a cord of muscle in his back. He lets out a small groan. You spend some time working on the spot until he melts a little further into your embrace. While he’s pliant you hitch your leg over his hip. It’s not enough to be able to grind on him, but the suggestion is there. You know he’s aware of it too because he casts a narrowed glance in your direction before giving you another warning squeeze in the same spot again. A breathy gasp leaves you like it’s been punched out and a smile spreads on your face soon after. You’re having fun riling him up.

“Be careful,” his tone is full of warning.

“Why?”

He looks at you again with sly warning in his eyes. A heavy hand pats your back before petting down the attractive curve of your spine. The warm weight of his palm only a few inches from your ass is wonderfully suspenseful.

“You’ll be in over your head, otherwise.”

“I don’t think so,” you smile up at him while smoothing the fabric of his shirt. The pitter-patter of his heartbeat feels like butterfly kisses on your palm.

“Is that so?”

You nod, tongue poking out from between your teeth teasingly.

He rolls over so you’re caged underneath him. Instantly his lips meet yours in a slow intermingling that would be considered chaste if not for the obscene amount of tongue and the cyclical pressure of his groin against your lower abdomen. You manage to wrestle your legs out from under him so you can part them. His hips easily fall into the slot you make for him. He hums lowly against your mouth as he makes contact with the warmth of your center, perceptible even through the layers of bottoms you’re both still wearing. A hand worms it’s way underneath your shirt, fingers splaying past the elastic waistband of your pants and meeting the rough texture of lace.

“No way,” he breathes to himself before sitting up on an elbow.

He lifts the waistband further to peer into crotch of your pants. There he sees the tiny pair of underwear you put on for the occasion. It’s a pretty cornflower blue color that he’s pretty sure he’s told you is his favorite. He drags his gaze from your lace-clad hips to the smug expression on your face.

“Look at you,” he coos. “All this time I thought you were shy.”

“I think that was something you made up. I’m really not shy. At least, not when it comes to you.”

You try to wrap your arms around him to bring him back to your mouth, but he resists.

“Hold on, I wanna see again.”

He slides your pants down a few inches, slowly as if to tease himself. By the time the whole garment is exposed, you’re shivering a little bit from the cool air. He leans down to press a few kisses on the skin of your stomach and pulls your pants down further. He groans and reaches down to palm himself through his pants.

“Turn over, please?”

You get onto your stomach as quickly as you can with your pants tangled around your legs. As soon as you get settled, you hear a large gasp.

“Shit!”

“How’s it look,” you ask coyly.

“Holy—Are you okay?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

You crook your head back so you can see what he sees and suddenly you understand his strange reaction to your ass. There’s another large bruise spanning the top of one of your thighs reaching past the boundary of your panties. Since it was on the back of your leg, you must have missed it during your cursory inspection in the shower.

“We should go to the infirmary. Or maybe we should just see if we can get a car to take you home.”

“No, Jimin, I’m fine.” If you go home now, you’re certain you’ll be back to square one.

“I don’t know. It looks...angry.”

“That’s just because I bruise easily. I’m not actually injured—”

“Hold on. Where did this come from? Did someone do this to you?”

“No, no. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s probably from all the falls I had today. I guess I really can’t ski after all.” You chuckle awkwardly. He ignores your joke and glares down at the bruise instead.

“So, you probably have a lot of them, then.”

He tugs your pants the rest of the way down. The one on the back of your thigh seems to wrap around to the intercrural area. And there are, in fact, more bruises. Another one lies on your opposite calf. When he reaches for your shirt, you brush his hand away and slowly lift it yourself. The one on your rib cage is large, and he stares on in horror. Then he shifts and peers at the smaller ones on your back.

“You really want to tell me that you’re fine?”

“Yes. Because I’m actually fine.” He raises an incredulous eyebrow. “I mean it, I really am.”

“Fine. But at least let me put something on them.”

“As long as it’s not ice.”

He glares weakly at you when you rule out his first instinct. Looking through his bag for remedies ends up being disappointing. He comes back empty handed.

“Couldn’t find anything?” He shakes his head. “Sad. Maybe we should just go back to what we were doing before.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“No.”

“I’ll tell you what. Let me massage the areas and if they don’t hurt, I’ll take it as a sign that you’re okay. And we can go back to doing whatever you want. But if I find out that you’re in pain, we’re taking a rain check.”

“Deal.”

A moment later, in hindsight, you realize you may have just dug your own grave. The bruises are fairly tender though you’re not in agony. But you’re sure that even the slightest flinch will send Jimin running for the figurative hills. Although he also might just go back to the actual hills and leave you in the suite to let your blue balls stew.

Jimin sits on his heels in front of you with an unreadable expression. Despite the cold in the air, you kicked off your pants entirely so that he would have easy access to your sore muscles. He’d asked you before whether you wanted to start from the top, but thinking that your rib cage bruise was the most sensitive made you tell him to work his way up. You figured that if you could make it through the first few bruises, he might believe that they were all fine and drop the issue.

He starts with the lowest bruise which is the one on your calf. First he plays around with your ankle, rotating it and swiveling your foot to flex your calf. You bite the inside of your cheek to make sure no pained noise slip out. Surprisingly enough, even when he lightly presses on the bruise itself, it’s not bad. He works over the muscle without you making a single peep. Hope bubbles in your stomach and you wonder if tonight will be the night that you finally bed Park Jimin.

“One down, a few more to go. Although I really don’t know if you need to go through all of them.”

“It’s the least I can do for you. After all,” he says with challenge in his gaze, “you tried so hard to become familiar with one of my hobbies.”

“I’m a great girlfriend.”

“That is true.” His tone turns genuine as he switches legs and moves up your unblemished calf the same way.

With you on your back and the next bruise on your thigh mainly towards the back, he has to lift your leg to get access. Your hamstrings are always tight and the stretch in itself makes you grimace slightly. But you tamp down on it quickly and school your features into a neutral arrangement so as not to lose the unspoken competition at play.

“How does this feel?”

He presses his fingers lightly into the bruised skin and you have to twist your fingers into the duvet beneath you. It hurts much more than your calf, about the same as your rib cage. But you can also feel familiar stirrings of arousal in the pit of your belly. You take a deep breath and compose yourself.

“It feels fine. I just don’t usually stretch this part, so this position is a little tough.” The smile he gives you is mean, almost predatory. He calls your bluff.

“I see. I’ll try not to linger here too much then.”

A few inches higher up your thigh, the pain along with the arousal gets more acute. And as Jimin’s fingers move higher up and closer to your inner thigh, you’re not sure if you can take it.

“Mmfh, fuck.” You whine when he’s about an inch away from the apex of your thighs.

“Aha! I knew it.”

“Wait, no—”

“Nope, that’s it. I’ll finish breaking up any lactic acid, but after that I’m putting up a pillow wall and you’re keeping your hands to yourself until you’ve healed.”

“But I’m fine, though.”

“It’s okay. There’ll be other times. Let me finish up. I’d rather do boring stuff than hurt you.”

At that moment you want to scream out of frustration. A little pain may actually be what you’re seeking and convincing him that it’s actually what you want could take forever. You search for a solution desperately as he continues his gentle ministrations. But you’re getting tired, and at this point there’s no point in masking anything.

You sink down into the pillows propping you up, letting the mix of pain and pleasure wash over you as he tries to jumpstart the healing process in your skin. Little whines and grunts sneak past your lips as he works over you. The higher he goes, the louder and more unabashed your sounds become until he becomes confused. He stops.

“Am I hurting you? I know I’m not a professional, so we can stop—”

“No,” you clench and unclench your thighs. “Keep going.”

He’s about to continue when he notices the large wet spot on the seat of your underwear. Somehow he missed it as he was focusing on ridding the tension from you. He clears the small distance to your underwear and strokes his thumb across the growing stain. The underwear is wet enough that it’s actually started to cling to your folds and leaves a shining residue on his finger.

“Is this...because of the bruises?”

“Yeah.”

“But they hurt, don’t they?”

“Yeah. But it’s good, too.”

“I see,” he cedes after a beat.

Hooking his fingers, he pulls on the waistband of your underwear until you can kick it off your ankles. He surges forward and you take his weight with a low grunt, eagerly wrapping your arms and a leg around him so he can’t run away again. With one hand snaking down to return to your thigh, the other cups your cheek tenderly. He kisses you tentatively at first, like he’s not sure if your newfound desire is fully tangible.

“So, are you into BDSM or something?”

“I wouldn’t go that far. But this is kinda nice.”

“I guess I just don’t want to hurt you. I’m not really sure where the line would be, y’know?”

“I’m not asking you to hang me from the ceiling and flog me. We can save that for some other time.”

You meet halfway and continue making out. Jimin seems slightly emboldened and hedges his tongue across the seam of your lips. You open for him and he continues his exploration of your mouth. The way he kisses you today is different from all the other times. While he often left you with a low burning desire before, you had no idea just how much he was holding back. And though he’s not pulling away at the start of heavy petting, he’s still treating you like you might break.

“What’s bothering you, Minie?”

“What do you mean?”

“It feels like you still haven’t let go yet. I’m not that fragile.”

“But I don’t want to weird you out.”

“I really doubt that will happen.”

“Okay.”

He kisses you again, this time slightly sloppier before pulling away and thumbing at the moisture on your lips. You sit still and let him keep fondling your lips until you part them on instinct. As soon as you do, his thumb enters your mouth. You hollow your cheeks and suck.

“Fuck,” he shudders over you. “That’s it.”

You have to ignore the impulse to laugh. He just found out that you get turned on with the right type of pain—how could he ever think a finger in your mouth would weird you out? He removes his finger, gently, and fumbles with his own bottoms. You push yourself up on your elbows to get a look at his junk. You’re not sure what you’re expecting, but a first time dick reveal is always exciting. He’s only half hard once the pants are off, but that won’t be the case for long if the way he grips himself is any indication. At least, you hope he’ll be ready soon, because you’ve been dripping for what feels like forever.

This is something he also takes note of. Shifting his hips forward, you feel the blunt edge of him nudge your sticky lips. Both of you release sighs of relief at the contact and Jimin starts rutting against you, repeatedly parting your folds as he slides his length through the arousal pooling there. When his head bumps your clit, you gasp.

“Yeah?” He bumps against it again, and once you nod frantically, he starts to grind against the spot.

The way you look writhing underneath him sets something ablaze in him. Jimin lays his hand over one of your breasts, rolling the nipple. Your back arches forward and you mirror his movements on the other one. With your free hand you nudge him closer to the bruise on your rib cage.

“A-again?”

“Yeah. Just go slow.”

While grinding into your wet heat, he starts dragging his hand down your side. With each stroke of his hand, his fingers catch on the slightly sweaty bruised area. A moan builds in your chest and rips out of you when you take over tweaking your own piqued nipples. It’s not until his rhythm slips and he nearly enters you that you remember what other things you could be doing.

“Jimin, I—oh god—want you inside me. Are you ready?”

He tests his hardness briefly. “Yeah.”

You alert him of the condoms you bought earlier that day. He looks where you direct him (under the mattress) and laughs at your readiness. He laughs again at the sleepy, hungry look in your eyes as you watch him roll the condom down his length. When he crawls back to you on the bed, he’s trying to be campy, but somehow he still looks incredibly attractive.

Everything turns sweet and slow again as he leans down to kiss you. Your tongues glide against each other and he positions himself so his arms bear his weight on either side of your head. He pushes in slowly and the stretch has you biting into the meat of his nearby bicep. Once you adjust, he begins pumping into you with the same fervor he had before entering. He’s close and his thrusts are too shallow for your liking. You reach down and press on his lower back to urge him deeper. You would have released after he got the message, but the globes of his ass are so perky and firm in your hands that you can’t help but swat at them.

“What the hell!” He jumps inside of you but doesn’t stop the swiveling of his hips, cheeks coloring with embarrassment.

“Sorry,” you place an open mouthed kiss on the column of his neck as further apology. “You just have a cute butt.”

He laughs, the sound breathy from exertion. “Cute? Not sexy?”

“It feels cute.”

“Don’t call me cute while I’m inside you.”

With that he brings a hand down to search for your clit. Your breath hitches and he quickens the pace of his hips to match the speed of his fingers. The tight figure eights around the little nub have your core tightening as your orgasm approaches. You feel like a vice around him and he gasps, hips stuttering as he pours into the latex barrier.

You look ethereal beneath him with dewy skin that seems to glow, but you haven’t come yet. So despite the sensitivity from just having come himself, he pulls you forward by the hips and continues to piston into you with grit teeth. He raises your leg to hit deeper with one hand while his free hand edges under the other leg. With his fingers spread wide, he manages to press his fingers into the bruise that spreads across the the underside of your thigh and flick his thumb across your clit in a flurry.

Your orgasm hits you with an unexpected amount of force. It feels as though your lungs have stopped working and you can’t take any more breaths, but you don’t care. Your vision whites out at the same moment that a final wave of wetness trickles over where your bodies are joined.

Jimin pulls out carefully now that you’re both over sensitive. Your leg flops down with a low thump on the mattress. Right into the small puddle your organsm must have caused.

“Wait a second, did I—”

“Looks like it,” he peers down at the stain with admiration.

“Well, that’s a first. How was that for you?”

“It was good,” he trails off with a smile. “You know...you’re pretty kinky.”

“No, I’m not. You’re just vanilla.”

“I’m not vanilla,” he balks.

“Yeah, right. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I, uh. Hmm.” It takes him a long while to think. “Oh, one time I watched this porn with two girls.”

“Is that all?”

“No! They were wearing, like, really tricky leather outfits.” You start snickering but he continues. “They were pulling each other’s hair on purpose. And one of them was spanking the other with this...cutting board.”

“Do you mean a paddle? Oh my god, you’re so cute. To think you thought I would be in over my head.”

He stomps off to get a wet towel from the bathroom. When he returns, he’s still pouting but helps you with clean up. It takes pressing yourself against his bare back while he strips the bed and several well placed kisses to get him to stop the sulking.

“Really, though. Why did you think I would be so skittish for our first time? Is it because of movie night at Namjoon’s?”

“Honestly? It’s because of the first day we met.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought you were a children’s librarian.” Your head tilts in confusion. “It was probably because you were wearing a cardigan.”

“I only ever wear cardigans when I go in to the daycare to read, though.”

“First impressions can be lasting,” he nods sagely to his own words.

“So what do you think about me now?”

You sit back down in front of him so he can evaluate you. You’ve thrown on a different loose t-shirt but your legs are bare.

“The same. You’re still my ‘nice little girlfriend’, as my mom says.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm,” he hums pensively before crouching into your space, eyes playful. “Maybe not so nice.”

#btssmutclub #bangtan bookclub #networkbangtan #bttnetwork #95line.net #bscproject #bts smut #bts fanfction #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtan fanfic #bangtan scenarios #bangtan imagines #jimin fanfic #jimin scenarios #jimin imagine

[its8simplejulesblog]

Did I Ever Tell You About The Time I Got Stranded in An Airport In China?

It’s true. I was utterly alone. I mean in retrospect I wasn’t, there were hundreds of people in that airport. The difference, they spoke native Chinese and I didn’t. My family members have always been avid travelers, to the point where my mom let me, 20 at the time, travel to China alone. Of course, I was meeting up with people when I got there, but the travel part was alllllllll me. So naturally, things had to go wrong. 

So here’s the sitch. Before my brother was born, during the dark ages of minimal internet, my mom joined this online group of moms that were expecting around the same time so they could ask questions and go through the experience of being pregnant for the first time together. My mom really clicked with a woman named Sandie in the group who happened to be from Australia. As we grew up, our families became really close. We would meet up with them in Florida all the time. 

Eventually, we decided we would ship ourselves over to Australia for Christmas/ New Years, but that’s a different story. 

More background information: My dad helped start a robotics team 21 years ago, and has become really well known in that community so he’s friends with everyone. We were contacted while we were in Australia to come meet up with another family who is really involved in robotics internationally so we went to have dinner with their family. They are an INCREDIBLE family. You know the type where they always have a ridiculous story for everything you just can’t believe it’s real? That’s what they were like. Anyway, the mom started talking about how they were opening a robotics lab in China and they take students over to teach the kids about programming and lego league and just to be pen pals; and, if you know my family at all, I immediately invited myself to go. I really was like “oh I should go with you,” out loud, and my mom looked at me and instead of saying no, she looked at this lady and she said “yeah, Julia is learning Chinese, she could go with you.” and the lady just said “yeah! ok” and I was going to China...alone haha. 

Flash forward and I have to take two flights to go to China. The International flight goes sickeningly smooth. I have absolutely 0 issues, and my whole family is extremely relieved, BuT WaIT, there’s more. When I go to take the domestic flight to Fuzhou, the province that we were going to be “touring” I see that the flight is canceled. There’s an announcement over the loud speaker but I’m already panicked and it’s in rapid fire Chinese so I go to the desk instead. The lady at the desk is trying to be patient with me, but I’m clearly already freaking out and her English is broken. She manages to tell me that there was a bad wind storm so they had to postpone a lot of the flights. 

Okay, postpone..that isn’t so bad, right? ALSO WRONG, it’s at this exact moment that my phone’s wifi cuts out entirely, so it’s survival mode now. I’m crying on the floor of the Shanghai airport when I hear actual English for the first time in forever (I’m apparently really good at accidental Frozen references) but I FLY towards whoever is speaking English. The culprit turns out to be these 2 guys from Canada. One of them speaks fluent Chinese and they’re helpful for about 5 minutes before they have to abandon me because their flight was rescheduled. So, we’re back to square one. 

At this point, they announce that the flight is cancelled and I want to die, but the good news is my wifi comes back on. I immediately text my mom and my uncle, who my aunt met when she was in the Peace Corps in China so he starts a call with his entire family that lives in China apparently because I don’t recognize any of these people at all. The only thing they can tell me to do is to talk to a flight attendant so that’s what I do. 

Imagine a group of really cute and young sorority girls hanging out when they’re approached by someone that..is just completely a mess. Yeah that’s what it was like when I went over to them. I got one of the girls to help me and again, her English was about the level of my Chinese at the time, so together we were only slightly above idiot. She tells me that the Chinese airport doesn’t let foreigners stay at the onsite hotel, so I would be able to go with her and her friend once she got off of her shift to go to a hotel. 

SOUNDS SUS doesn’t it, but when you’re desperate, you’re desperate. When the flight attendant gets off of her shift I go with her to the parking garage because she booked a hotel for me. When we finally get there, this 25 year old Chinese Troy Bolton looking man whips his car around and we get in with him (completely safe, how could you not trust Chinese Troy Bolton). We drive about 30 minutes through Shanghai and honestly, it’s beautiful. It was one of those circumstances in life we’re you’re looking at the city lit up at night and you really can’t believe you’re there. It was probably one of the scariest, yet most memorable experiences of my life. 

We pull into the hotel and since I finally had native speakers with me, things were going a lot smoother. The flight attendant was talking with my uncle on the phone about scheduling me a flight for the next day and she talked to the lady in the lobby about my room. At this point, I knew her pretty well because, surprise, she was actually 30 years old and had a daughter and I thought that was SO CUTE. I gave the flight attendant a hug and thanked her friend, and it was just me again. 

Here’s the best part of this entire story. The only hotel they could book me in was, wait for it, a honeymoon suite. A HONEYMOON SUITE. The hallways of the hotel were covered in mirrors and the carpets were covered in flowers. Everything smelled like drugs and smoke and clearly everyone was having the time of their lives. The bathroom in the room, completely see through, the bed had a HUGE mural of Barbie’s face above it and the curtains had minnie mouse on them and I don’t know how that’s romantic at all, but you can’t make this shit up haha. If you think I’m lying, here’s a lil (horrible) photo I took of the curtains. If you want to see video, ask me in person. 

At this point, I am way past delirious. I took a shower and time ceased to exist. I was so jet lagged and confused. I called my mom and after I hung up with her I immediately fell asleep. A solid 2 hours later I woke up and SCREAMED because my body clock was so off, I thought it was the next day and I had missed my next flight. I called my mom crying again, and she told me it had only been two hours so I went back to bed. When I finally woke up at the right time my uncle, god bless this man, got on the phone with me and helped me talk to the people at the desk. They got a cab for me and I trudged back to the airport. 

2nd times the charm, except, I need to get my boarding pass printed out at the help desk, which has a line of about the entirety of the Chinese population. Fun fact about China too, they don’t know what a straight line is. This is just fact, they just cut straight to the front and shove each other out of the way. This took me way too long to realize, and after I stood in this line for about 2 hours, I realized that I was going to have to assimilate. So there I was, a puny stick of a human, elbowing grown Chinese men out of my way to get this pass while my uncle and 300 relatives are on the call with me. 

I get to the the desk and surprise, the person is not helpful at all so I do what any actually insane person would do and I just continued walking my way through security to the gates. I get filtered into bag check of which, I don’t even have a bag so I just walk up to the desk anyway to see if anyone else can help me. 

After the longest 5 minutes of my life my SAVIOR of a 22 year old tiny little man decides to give me his attention. I don’t know HOW. I don’t. Know. How. But he manages to print a boarding pass for me and my soul left my body because at this point I had 30 minutes to get to my flight so I thank him and SPRINT and I mean really book it through security to the plane. I finally made it. 

Granted, the trip was entirely worth that stress. The kids I met in China were incredibly kind. They called me a Disney Princess and wrote me love letters and gave me hugs even though it was clear I didn’t know shit about coding. It was just amazing to be there as a friend and role model for them. I stood in front of them and spoke Chinese and encouraged them to keep learning English and it was the most grounding experience of my life, because it was clear that they didn’t have much. 

We went to five cities while we were there to tell the kids about lego league and cooperation and teamwork. I sat in on meetings with school board professionals and on interviews with students that wished to continue their education abroad in America. I learned so much about the systematic education there and there is nothing I want more than to go back there. The kids have already invited me back to their homes, and I have never met anyone more welcoming and kind. So think twice before you make jokes about the Corona Virus. 

At the end of the day, this trip defines what I want to do. There is nothing like stepping entirely out of your comfort zone to explore. There is nothing like shocking a bunch of Chinese men with your ability to use chopsticks. There is nothing like putting aside biases and language barriers and simply treating people like people. Everywhere I go, I think of that place as a new home to me, and I can’t wait to be home there again.

Also..the next semester when I got back, we learned the airport and travel unit at school in Chinese class, such is life I guess. 

Here are some pictures from China. 

-Julia 

[humansofhds]

Shane Snowdon, MDiv ’20

“Bringing death in everyday life is tragic and shocking. One way I honor my crash is by trying to tell the story for good.”

Shane is a third-year master of divinity candidate studying the toll taken by fatal car crashes, in which about 40,000 Americans die every year.

The Crash That Left a Mark

I’m in the MDiv program, but I actually started at HDS in 2014, so I’ve been here for almost six years. I started as a half-time Special Student, thinking I would only stay a semester. And now I’m in the very last semester of the official MDiv program. 

In 1997, when I was driving home one night on a rural California highway, I hit and killed a young man who crossed in front of my car. I don’t know how we didn’t see each other—I don’t think I’ll ever know. I wasn’t found at fault in the crash, but my grief about it has always been very intense. I’ve always wanted to keep him—he was just 18—very close in my heart.

I had a family, so I had to somehow go on with my life. But in my late 50s a few years ago, I decided I had to step back from work and “do something” about being the driver in a fatal car crash. I didn't know what that “something” was—but I hoped HDS would be a good place to find out. So I left my job and came to HDS.

In my very first semester, I wrote a paper about the crash for Professor Stephanie Paulsell, who has been a wonderful mentor for me. That was the first time I had ever written about the crash, and her reaction was incredibly supportive.

I wasn’t sure what I would do with my paper. But then a friend of mine in Cambridge was killed when a truck hit her. And I found out that, for the first time in many years, the rate of car crashes in our country was going up. So I shortened my paper and published it in Cognoscenti. I hoped that my story, the story of an ordinary person suddenly bringing death on an ordinary day, would encourage people to drive more mindfully.

I knew it was really unusual for drivers in fatal crashes to “go public.” But I was still surprised by the response. There were hundreds of comments. Some people were very critical, but some people said they’d drive differently after reading my story. Then Scott Simon of NPR read the piece, and he interviewed me on his show, and a lot more comments came in.

They were a mix, but again a lot of people said they’d drive differently because of my story. So when other media people wanted to talk with me, I said yes. I really wanted—I still want—to reach drivers. I want to testify to how lethal cars are. I mean, we can’t control everything in a car, or in life. But I just so hope that my story will encourage people to drive carefully. I’m here to say that cars really can kill. 

I kept on speaking and writing about my crash whenever I had a chance. I even told my story on a PBS program. I kept seeing the impact it had on people—and their driving. 

Taking a Mindful Step Back with ‘The Crash Project’

When I got to Introduction to Ministry Studies, the required MDiv class at HDS, and they asked us to create a ministry project, I thought—I actually have a project—I have a ministry—a “crash ministry”! I thought, let me take all I’ve been doing and organize it, give it a name and a website. 

So it became clear to me what I would be doing for the rest of HDS, what I would be focusing on, what I would be doing after graduation: The Crash Project. 

Before the crash, I had been involved for years in social justice work. And after the crash, until I came to Harvard 17 years later, I persisted in doing social justice advocacy. I really loved that work. But this work around the crash is the work of my heart. It is a kind of ministry, or chaplaincy, around how lethal cars are. Around the huge toll that car crashes take on everyone involved, including the larger culture. 

Striving to Stop Preventable Car Crashes 

When I have to describe The Crash Project quickly to people, I say that I’m trying to use my story of being the driver in a fatal crash to encourage people to drive more mindfully and support safety measures. Things like the new hands-free driving law in Massachusetts, and the Reckless Driver Accountability Act they just passed in New York City. 

I think people tune in to my story because very few drivers who have brought death speak of their experience. And I hope people respond on two levels. First, when they next get into a car, I hope they drive differently. And I hope that effect lasts as long as possible. And then, the next time they have the opportunity to support something like a hands-free law or a lower speed limit, I hope people remember my story. Remember that death by car is a reality. 

Many more people die in car crashes than is realized—about 40,000 people a year in this country. I am trying to raise consciousness about how prevalent death by car is, because most fatal crashes are preventable. Mindfulness and compassion are everything to ending what’s really a huge public health crisis that goes unrecognized. 

Speaking about Death in a Society That Seems to Turn Away

I took several classes at HDS about care of the dying and care of the very ill. They focused a lot on the reality of death and how to be with death, your own death and other people’s deaths. They brought me close to my experience and helped me stay with it, keep it in my mind, keep it in my heart. They’ve kept my work going, kept me talking about one of the major ways people die suddenly in our society. 

To be in classes where we actually talked about death, and how to be with it—things we avoid so much in our culture—was very helpful in keeping me going, since my work is telling the story of how I killed someone. I even bring up death at social gatherings, when people ask, “What do you do for work, Shane?” I don’t want to be “death at dinner,” but I try to answer honestly and sensitively. 

Nobody ever just walks away. They don’t. People stop and think. It’s very touching. I always get responses. A lot of different responses. And I carry them all inside me. 

I’m really touched when people tell me about almost getting hit by a car, or almost hitting someone in their car. And parents of people who have died in crashes have said to me it’s really good to hear that a driver remembers and cares. The legal system is set up so that the drivers in crashes like mine, as much as we may care, are strongly discouraged from being in touch with the families of the people who have died. That’s very hard. 

I’ve also gotten negative responses. I really listen to them. For example, there are people who don’t believe I wasn’t at fault, despite what the police found. What I say to them is, while I don’t remember doing anything to cause the crash, I hold open the possibility I did something. Or didn’t do something. I live with this possibility every day. 

Bringing death in everyday life is tragic and shocking. One way I honor my crash is by trying to tell the story for good.

Using Harvard to Launch the First Unintentional Killing Symposium 

There is no question that Harvard provides a fantastic platform for doing social justice and social change work. I’ve had opportunities to reflect, to speak out, to gather people together. The Bulletin published my paper. I spoke at Memorial Church. And I’ve made great connections, like Professor David Hemenway at the School of Public Health, who has been a giant in road safety. It will always be incredibly helpful to have been here and to be able to say that I was here. 

One wonderful thing about HDS is the resources available. In fall 2020 I will be co-convening what seems to be the first symposium in the world on unintentional killing. And I know it’s been helpful in encouraging people to attend to be able to say that it’s at HDS. 

A number of the people at the symposium will be people who brought death themselves. We will be looking at our responsibility—how do we take our tragic stories and make meaning out of them? Where do we go from here? For instance, we’ll be looking at what restorative justice might look like when somebody is found at fault for a car crash death. 

Being in Flow with the Topic of Death 

What’s ahead for me? I want to go to other gatherings and talk about unintentional killing. And I want to continue to write, for a variety of publications. One thing I want to write about, from my particular perspective, is why our culture doesn’t do more around this type of death. It’s so common, so painful, for so many people. 

I also want to keep doing public speaking. HDS has been really helpful with a piece of this, because I’m hoping to assemble an offering for congregations. I would never have thought about doing this without Harvard. Congregations, where people are gathered mindfully, are a really good place to talk about car crashes, and their aftermath, and big moments like when a teenager gets licensed or an elder needs to give up driving. These are moments when people really get how lethal cars are. 

I would never have dreamed that, over the course of being at Harvard, I would be able to turn my tragic experience into an actual organization for change in the world—at least on the roads. As much as I loved my other work over the years, I am really in flow with my work around the crash, strange as that sounds. The work feels really right and natural to me. I came to HDS just knowing I wanted to “do something.” And now I’m leaving with The Crash Project.

Interview and photos by Kaitlin Wheeler

#harvard #harvard divinity school #cars #car crash #social justice #death #accident #large

[sztypography]

Interviews

DVC Major: Bridget Hassely

1. What would you have liked to know about the DVC program before coming here?

I would have liked to have known how important process books are. For some reason, it wasn't made clear to me we had to keep our process books for portfolio review. I deconstructed my first two books to reuse the folder. After I found out that we needed them, I had to piece back together what I saved and reprint my files.

2. What would you like to know about the professional design world?

I would like to know just how many pathways there are to take with this degree. There are so many options and hearing people talk about their experience with the pathway they chose is very interesting to me.

3. What is the hardest concept in design to understand?

The hardest concept in design for me is using the grid to the best of its ability. I tend to stick with my trusty columnar grid, but I would like to venture out more and get used to using all the different types that might be better for specific projects.

4. Which Adobe program would you like to learn more about? Why?

I want to learn more about Photoshop. We learned the basics in Art 118, but Photoshop has so many more tools that would probably be beneficial to me that I want to learn and understand how to use them.

5. What is the most helpful design tool in your opinion (such as a type ruler)?

The most helpful design tool, in my opinion, is a sketchbook. Documenting your inspiration, thought process, ideations, and reflections is critical. IT gets it out of your head and onto a physical space where you can come back to and expand off of.

6. What keyboard shortcuts do you always forget?

A keyboard shortcut I somehow always forget is the arrow key (selection tool), which is V. Also, why are the shortcuts different between the Adobe programs?!?!

7. What stores would you have liked to know about Freshman year?

I would have liked to have known about the architecture store and the arts and crafts studio.

8. What are some fun design elements you look for in a handbook?

Some fun design elements I look for in a handbook are interactive bits, jokes, imagery, useful tips, and space to answer questions.

9. What driving factor would make you carry around a DVC handbook?

A driving factor that would make me carry around a DVC handbook would be its usefulness. Having information that I could frequently look back to or something that I have to fill out over time would make it more useful for me.

10. What was the hardest part about taking introduction to DVC courses?

The hardest part about taking introduction to DVC courses for me was adjusting to the time commitment that design is. Design is not mechanical and can take many attempts, variations, and refinements. Procrastination is hard to avoid, but giving yourself enough time to work through the design process will make your work so much better.

DVC Graduate: Kayleigh Kvool

1. What are important aspects to include in a graphic designer resume? Is it true that design employers pay more attention to the look of the resume than the content?

All of your skills. All of your experiences, work experience, and other related experiences done through school. I have an exhibit section where I put my DVC2 and DVC3 showcase. If you look at a job description, make sure you have the skills on the resume that they want. Yes, but not totally. It should be very clean. Lots of simplification. You want it to be simple. A lot of resumes go through scanners, and you want it to be legible.

2. Do you have trouble looking for a graphic design job?

I wouldn’t say it is hard. It’s competitive. Put yourself out there and take chances. 

3. Do you think the UWM DVC program prepared you well?

Yes. The improvements I have seen in the program has only made it more preparatory for designers. I love the Dream Lab. Professional Practices with Amy was the most  preparatory thing ever. I took that class my last semester before graduating.

4. What was your favorite DVC class? Why?

DVC 3 was my favorite. I really thought it was valuable to work in a group. The manifesto was fun. It was the most work, but the work you make in that class you are the most proud of.

5. Which teacher helped you the most in gaining design knowledge?

Robert Grame. He gave me a lot of one-on-one feedback. He kept my ideas focused and doable. I do think it is important to have a mix of people.

6. What places would you recommend for internships?

Union Marketing was basically it. I also got six credits doing it.

7. Do you do freelance work often?

I am open to it. I am still trying to figure out what is an appropriate amount to charge. Everyone tells me to not undersell myself. If I would do freelance for a company, I would charge $40 an hour. The minimum is $20 an hour. If I was still a student, I would charge $15 or $20. Now that I am graduated, I would charge $40 or $45. 

 8. What is your favorite part about being a graphic designer?

I think that my favorite part is that I get to be creative and make my impact by representing communities. People have a negative outlook on advertising. It is nice to try and make a positive contribution.

9. If you could choose what job you could have right now, what would it be?

It would definitely be with Z2 Marketing as a Design Director. It only requires two years of experience. I am very qualified for it. An art direction position right out of college would be very stellar. 

Design Professional or Entrepreneur: Mary Adamczak

1. What is an average day in the office like?

It’s different every day! Each day I have my list of projects to tackle. My time is dictated by the client’s deadline. The hottest project gets my attention first. I also will get interrupted to review other projects that are in the works to discuss with our creative director and other designers. I do have to say my colleague brings his dog to work most mornings which is fun. The dog runs around the office to greet everyone. She also will bounce balloons, like she’s some star volleyball player. The rest of the day she doesn’t make a peep in her kennel, until she leaves for the day. Then we get greeted one more time before going home.

2. Which method do you use most when working with your clients, email or in person conversations?

I would say it’s mostly email. I typically do not present a lot of creative here, but I do attend meetings and will be involved in the discussions of the projects with clients.

3. How long does the average project take?

Hmm, that’s a hard one. I’ve spent hours on jobs and under an hour on jobs. One rough logo exploration could take a couple days - but exploring variations is what takes more time. A 12-page brochure could take 3 -4 days or so for the design only  (with copy supplied) A small website (design only), not programming could take 3-4 days (with copy supplied) And this is without interruptions!

4. How would you describe your role as a graphic designer?

I’m a creative / a designer, sometimes a creative director, a project coordinator, print coordinator and sometimes a project manager. So, I wear many hats.

5. Which clients do you work with the most?

We mostly have corporate and tourism clients at the moment. Some projects are ongoing but, some are on a project by project basis. We also have done some specialty hard cover book projects for specialty events and sports teams which is challenging but rewarding in the end!

6. What is the biggest project you ever had?

A corporation that made an acquisition and they needed to send out a bunch of collateral out in 13 different languages. This included a Corporate Folder which housed a letter from the CEO, A Code to Ethics brochure and a corporate brochure. This was a lot of coordination! We had to work with the printer to have it all shipped out to the different countries. Also, working on specialty hard cover books. These are big projects that can take up to a year to concept, design, get approved and printed. 

7. What made you want to go into graphic design?

I’m a creative person and wanted to do get paid for something I love to do.

8. Where did you study? How did your education prepare you for your current career?

I received my Bachelor’s Degree from MIAD (Milwaukee Institute of Art + Design). I had 2 really good graphic design teachers who saw my work ethic and worked with me to show me what really good, high level design should look like. 

9. What is the biggest lesson you have learned as a graphic designer?

I’m not sure there’s a lesson I’ve learned. I do know that design is subjective but, it takes a good eye and an openness to exploration to see good design. Never assume your design is good, just because your hands are creating it. Always step back and see how you can make it better and more successful. And be open to constructive criticism from your peers - it will make you a better designer. 

 10. Where do you get your inspiration from?

Other good design. I really enjoy looking at Commarts.com (Communication Arts Magazine).

 11. How many sketchbooks do you have, completed and currently in use?

I go through a lot of notebooks, not just for sketching, but for making my daily lists, jotting down thoughts, ideas and sketching out home related things that I want to figure out. I’ve sketched out how I want our outdoor Christmas lights to look, our kitchen configuration, and some of our garden beds. You can use creativity in so many ways!

 12. What is your favorite Adobe program? Why?

Hmm. I think I like InDesign the most because I use it the majority of the time. But, Illustrator is a close second, as I love designing logos in this program. 

 13. What was something unexpected you learned when starting out?

How quickly projects are needed -  tight deadlines. 

14. What types of projects do you enjoy working on the most?

The ones that have extra time! And the ones that have more creative opportunities. Projects that are more open-ended, not defined. That gives me more creative freedom.

15. What is your favorite part about being a graphic designer?

Being creative and being able to design. I love taking a blank page and designing something that is creative, unique and relevant.

[drmannimal]

So you want to be a veterinarian...

Ask a handful of children what they want to be when they grow up and there’s a good chance that someone will say veterinarian. It has long been a dream career of many animal lovers, but is it right for you?

I fall into the “it’s all I’ve ever wanted to be” category. For as long as I can remember I was telling my parents that I was going to be a veterinarian. Human medicine? No, thank you. While I thought I had a pretty good understanding of veterinary medicine before I started veterinary school, I soon realized I didn’t know it all. That being said, veterinary medicine is definitely the right career for me. This post will go over the process of becoming a veterinarian, and the pros and cons of the job.

How do I become a Veterinarian?

To become a veterinarian, you must attend veterinary school. In North America, these programs are typically four years long. 

Pre-Veterinary School Depending on where you live, there are prerequisites you must complete before applying to veterinary school. Many programs require completion of a four year undergraduate degree, taking some specific required courses. Some schools only require 20 prerequisite undergraduate courses (two years) in order to apply. The admissions process is competitive so keeping competitive grades is advantageous, though a 4.0 is not necessary. Good, but not great, grades do not mean you’re immediately cast aside. There are other components to your application. Many applications include veterinary/animal experience and extra circulars. During high school and undergraduate you should participate in a variety of clubs and volunteer activities. This makes you a more well rounded applicant, and also can be quite enjoyable. Some examples: - volunteer at a veterinary clinic: I personally believe everyone should spend time in a veterinary clinic before applying to veterinary school, regardless of importance for application. This will allow you to see what the job actually involves. - volunteer at farms, wildlife clinics, SPCAs etc. - 4-H or similar. - Student government (leadership, communication). - Pre-vet society/club. - Any other club/society on campus, ie. biology society, GSA, yearbook etc. Some schools, especially in the USA, require letters of recommendation. The school may specify who they are looking for letters from (i.e. vet, professor, etc). Make sure you make positive connections with the people you work with in order to allow for a positive recommendation. Finally, standardized testing is required by most veterinary schools, specifically the GRE (Graduate Record Examination). More information about this can be found online.

As a Canadian student, you may only apply to your regional Canadian school, unless you would like to apply internationally. As an American student, you can apply to a large number of schools within your county. Research each school as many have specific areas of interest, different cost, different living style etc. After applying to veterinary school, many schools will then invite candidates for an interview. The type of interview varies depending on the school so make sure you look into the specifics of each school you will be interviewed at. Veterinary School I will give you specifics of my education as an example, though all veterinary schools differ. In general, be prepared for a lot of work. You will be taking many classes at once. For example, I was often taking 10 courses per semester. Many of these courses included a laboratory component.  A large number of classes equates to a large amount of home preparation and studying. Midterm season at my school was typically weeks long. The work load is certainly manageable, don’t let that alone scare you off, though it does take a lot of dedication and planning. The most important piece of advice I have in regards to course load is to make sure you still find time for yourself. Without taking care of yourself and constantly studying, you will burnout. My school had three years of course work, followed by one year of clinical practice. During the three pre-clinical years, we did have exposure to animals throughout labs and shifts in the clinic. We first perform surgery in third year under supervision of the course doctors. For the most part, the pre-clinical years followed a pretty general schedule (other than surgery duties). Starting class at 8 and being done by 4. There are opportunities outside of courses to get involved with clinical/medical activities. Veterinary school have a large variety of clubs that may offer these extra opportunities - ie. pathology club necropsies, exotic animal club medical producers, internal medicine club cadaver labs... There may be opportunity with a local stray spay/neuter program through your school to get extra experience with surgery as well. Clinical year is a whole new ball game. At my school the year was broken into three week segments. Each segment you are placed somewhere new - i.e.. three weeks in the surgery department, three weeks in radiology, three weeks at an external clinic of your choosing... This year takes you away form the classroom and puts you into “doctor” mode. Keep in mind that each veterinary school operates on a different schedule (some introducing clinical earlier in the program) and that this is my personal experience. What your duties are will depend on the school as well. During my clinical year, student are involved in client communication, history taking, diagnostic planning, treatment administration, clinical skills, participation in surgery, etc. All under direct supervision. The hours for this portion of schooling are not predictable and definitely do not run 8-4. Many placements include after hours care of the patients, on-call work, lengthly paperwork, etc. All while studying for the dreaded NAVLE. Even though it was often dreadful, clinical year was my favourite year of veterinary school. Everything started to come together and honestly, it was a lot of fun.

NAVLE In North America, in order to practice veterinary medicine, you must past the licensing examination, the NAVLE. This is a 360 question multiple choice test that encompasses everything you have studied throughout veterinary school. Your school will help you apply and register when the time comes. You will technically be preparing for the NAVLE all of veterinary school but will specifically study for it in your final year. There are preparatory courses that you may purchase and your school may host review classes. The test is written in December and April.

So those are the cliff-notes of how to become a veterinarian. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions, would like clarification or would like me to go further into detail.

So after all of that, what are the pros and cons?

Lets not beat around the bush, starts with the cons:

Debt - veterinary school is NOT cheap and the income does not match the level of debt obtained. The majority of students will graduate with $100,000-$200,000+ in debt. This is not unmanageable, though it can be daunting. 

Extensive training - veterinary school is not easy, and it is not for everyone. You will need to be knowledgeable about many species and many subjects. 

Working with owners - “I want to be a vet because I don’t like people”, just no. This is a customer service career. You will speak to people every day. You will have to convince people to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on their pets. You will get yelled at, told you’re in it for the money, probably threatened at some point. 

Working within a budget - unlike human doctors, we really need to think about the cost of each and every thing we do. You will often have owners come in with $100 dollars to their name and a very sick animal, you need to figure out what the options are in each instance.

Euthanasia - many people find this one of the more difficult parts of the job. I personally believe it’s how you look at it. Euthanasia can be a wonderful gift. I do not euthanize healthy animals.

Work-place hazards - our patients can be aggressive and difficult to handle. This is often due to stress or being scared, but it is a danger to veterinary staff. You need to understand how to read signals and prevent dangerous situations from happening. Veterinarians are also exposed to chemicals, radiation, heavy lifting etc.

Hours - depending on where you work, the hours can be gruelling. Not everyone has the luxury of a 40 hour work week. We often stay late (for no extra pay) finishing cases, tending to patients, calling clients, doing paperwork, etc. Many veterinarians must perform on-call duties. This may lead to 2 hours of sleep between shifts.

Responsibility - every decision we make is life or death. The type of drug, the dose, surgery, etc. The job carries a huge amount of responsibility that can be very stressful for certain people.

Ok, so despite all of that, I’m still a veterinarian. I still love my job. Why?

Debt - yes, I have a huge amount of debt. Is it manageable, yes. There are many people in the world who have more debt than me. I hate that its becoming normal for people to have debt, but it is.

Extensive training - vet school sucked, but it was also awesome. I know so much about so many things. I’m proud of the level of knowledge I gained while in vet school. I’m proud of the person I have become through my extensive training.

Working with owners - the vast majority of my clients are absolutely wonderful. There are owners that light up my day, that I look forward to talking to, that remind me how much I love my job. We have many lovely reviews written about us, cards sent in, treats brought in for staff etc. For every person that gets mad at me for cost, there are many more that are understanding and work with me to find a solution within their budget

Working within a budget - this is a con no matter what way you look at it, though I can say that when you’re willing to work with owners and help them within their means, they are often very thankful. There are many cases you can help within a tight budget.

Euthanasia - I tell every owner that euthanasia is a gift. We get to take away pain and suffering. This makes it much easier for me to deal with this on a daily basis.

Work-place hazards - proper training and education can help minimize hazards. Low stress handling, proper restraint etc.

Hours - not every job has horrible hours. I work, on average 40 hours a week. Some days I stay a little late to finish up, but it usually doesn't bother me. Yes, I do on-call but it is not very often. I have a great work life balance. You need to take this into consideration when looking for a job.

Responsibility - you get to call the shots, you get to save lives, help pets, help owners. You do not have to do it alone. There are so many resources out there to help. It’s definitely scary and daunting the first few years out, but its also very satisfying. Confidence grows day by day.

You get to live you dream job.

You get to be a part of an amazing team that shares the same goals as you.

You get to impact the lives of so many people and their pets.

You get to be an ambassador of the animals.

You get to go to work and learn something new every single day.

So, still think veterinary medicine is for you? Reach for the stars <3

#veterinary medicine #veterinarian #vet #vetmed #vetblr #vet student #vet school #veterinary #veterinary school

[hiyadarlingirl]

EVERGREEN LOVE, part 6

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 , part 8, part 9

Summary; It’s three days after the storm and you are at a lecture thinking back at a crazy occurrence (inspired by Logan from Gilmore girls!) that made Roger and you become friends. Later you also attend a  gig of Rogers band smile! 

wordcount; 2,8k

Warnings; swearing, tiiiiiny bit of angst, fluff

 Thankyou for reading everyone!! This part wil be a fun one, so sit back and relax! The dress I imagine reader wearing at the gig is this one from Jackie Burkhart! 

‘Does it still hurt?’ You asked.

‘My heart? Yes, consistently.’

‘Your ribs, stupid.’ You said, smiling.  

It was three days after Roger had gotten back from his sailing trip and everything had returned to normal. You were back to the banter that marked your relationship and you were glad nothing had changed. You were sitting in the lecture hall with a couple of minutes before lecture and were waiting for professor Goodall to come in and talk about plant physiology. A subject you knew would keep Rogers interest for at most 20 minutes before he would start getting annoying and in need of attention.

‘Ah. My ribs are splendid.’ He answered your question. Professor Goodall had now entered the room and started to quiet down the audience.

‘Wanna see?’ Roger asked and before you could say no, he stood up and pulled up his striped t-shirt to proudly show you the bandages that were wrapped around his upper body.

‘Taylor. Sit down. Nobody wants to see that.’ Professor Goodall said with a sour expression.

‘I wouldn’t be so sure about that sir.’ Roger replied with a hint of a smirk.

‘Just sit down an try paying attention for once Taylor. And save me the cockiness next time.’

You pulled Roger down by his wrist before he could make more of a fuss. It was no secret that professor Goodall wasn’t very fond of Roger and neither was he fond of you after an incident that had taken place almost two years ago.

--------------------- 

It was at the start of spring semester and you were both in your first year. You didn’t know Roger very well at the time having only spoken to him briefly so you couldn’t possibly foresee what was about to happen.

You were sitting in the middle of the audience next to Ally, scrabbling down notes while listening to the professor. He just started explaining the cell cycles of micro-organisms when a guy came rushing in, interrupting the lecture.

‘Y/N!’ You looked up, surprised at hearing your name. ‘Darling! My love.’ He spoke dramatically. You froze in your seat.

‘What are you doing to me? Please save me from this bloody misery I can’t handle it no more.’ You tried to assimilate what was happening, everybody had now turned in their seat staring up at you. Ally was looking at you confused. You gave her a confused look back.

‘Y/N please.’ He continued.

Professor Goodall looked perplexed. ‘What in the world….’ Then turned to you. ‘Miss Y/L/N what is this?’ You gave him a clueless look.

‘Y/N! Please tell me you love me! For I’ve been in love with you from the moment we met.’ He cried theatrically. You tried placing the guy, having seen him before but not in any of your classes. His curly hair wasn’t something you would quickly forget. Then it suddenly dawned on you. Your assumption got confirmed when another guy came rushing in.

It was Roger this time. 

You suddenly got it. They were performing a play to make you as uncomfortable as you could  possibly get.

‘Brian? What the fuck?’ Roger shouted and came running towards Brian who had climbed up the stairs and was now in the audience.

Professor Goodall had finally found his voice back. ‘Taylor! Get out of my class! And take your friend with you!’ He spoke firmly but Roger ignored him completely.

‘Don’t you dare steal my girl you wanker!’ Roger grabbed Brian by his shoulders.

You didn’t know where to look, wanting to disappear under the seat and never return. You could hear the audience laughing but it felt like you weren’t there.

Brian freed himself from Rogers grip.

‘Y/N, please liberate us from this excruciating pain. You have to choose one of us.’ He said.

‘Yes Y/N. Stop playing with our fragile hearts. It’s brutal.’ Roger added, his eyes twinkling.

You couldn’t bring out a word and slightly shook your head at Roger, giving him a deadly look.

‘Taylor, get down NOW or I’ll never see you in any of my classes ever again.’ Goodall started to fully lose his temper now.

‘But sir, you don’t understand..’

‘Taylor!’ Professor Goodall spoke with his voice low, trying to sound authoritative. Roger smiled. ‘Alright.’ He said then, giving in. He started to walk down the stairs, but then stopped in the  middle turning back to face you. ‘To be continued.’ He added, a mischievous look in his eyes. You just squinted your eyes at him.

Just before he and Brian left the classroom they made a little bow, clearly enjoying the attention. Majority of the students clapped and laughed but you were just pissed.  How far they would go to get noticed was pathetic. And using you for it? How childish.

If you were completely honest with yourself, you maybe had liked getting noticed by him a little bit. But you would never admit that out loud.

‘That was… curious.’ Ally said, at the end of the lecture, gathering her books. ‘They were good though.. very invested.’You rolled your eyes at her.

After class you saw the boys waiting outside, leaning against the wall, talking. First you considered to just walk away, ignoring them and pretending the whole thing hadn’t happened. But then Roger waived at you so you gathered your courage and decided to talk to them.

‘Ah there she is.’ Roger said when you started walking towards them, pushing himself off the wall and standing up straight.

‘Hi.’ You said, stepping closer. ‘Great play, very convincing.’ You started, leaning on one leg, arms filled with books. ‘Could you maybe leave me out of it though, next time?’

‘Why? You didn’t like it?’ Roger asked innocently.

‘Look, I know you guys like attention, but there are plenty of ways to get that elsewhere aside from embarrassing me, believe it or not.’

‘I know that love, but that’s a pity cause I just wanted attention from you.’

Even though you didn’t believe a word he was saying, you didn’t know how to respond to that.

‘What do you mean.’ That was kind of a stupid question, you knew that, but Roger smiled sweetly.

‘You are so hard to catch, girl. I just had to take measures for you to notice me. Forgive a fool?’

You thought about that for a second. You uncatchable? That was new. You thought it was the other way around, actually. You hadn’t really tried becoming friends with him because he seemed so hard to keep. Talking to everyone but never really staying. It wasn’t like he was popular in the usual sense of the word. He wasn’t wearing fashionable clothes, nor did he hang with the cool people. But he had something that drew people in. His unapologetic way of being himself and not giving a damn about what anyone thought of him. Choosing people on character instead of status. You had to give him that. You wouldn’t please his arrogant ass just yet though. His smooth talking wouldn’t win you over this easily.

‘Well, you have my attention now, what are you planning on doing with it?’

He was quiet for a couple of seconds, reading your face.

‘Wanna be my friend?’ He asked then, eyes wide and a toothy smile gracing his face.  

You didn’t expect this question so it took you a while to answer.

‘Okay.’ You said. Not too enthusiastic but he didn’t seem to mind.

And with that you became friends. Way better friends then you had over seen coming. Thinking back on it you wondered how Roger ever got Brian so far as to declare his love to you in front of so many people, he didn’t seem the type for it. It showed how good of a pall Brian was to him though.

 ----------

‘Hey.’ Roger pulled you back into the present.

‘Wanna go to a gig of mine and Brian?’ He whispered in your ear.

‘Of course!’ You whisper shouted back. ‘When is it?’

‘Tonight, I’ll pick you up at six, wear something cool, it’s gonna be wild.’

‘That can be arranged.’ You grinned.

‘So no Led Zeppelin shirt Y/N. You’re our supporter now.’ He said with a semiserious face. You laughed at that, earning yourself an annoyed look from the professor. You sat up straight and tried focusing on the lecture again.

‘Cell devision in plants is limited to specific regions. In plants it’s the meristems that accounts for growth lengthwise upwards and downwards.’

You yawned but started scribbling down notes again. 

----------

That evening you stood in front of your closet deciding what to wear. Ally was laying down on your bed, providing you with advice. She was coming too but was too lazy to try out several options, having already stuck with sky blue pants and a white T-shirt.

‘What do you think of this?’ You asked while staring at yourself in the mirror. You were wearing pink flared jeans with a white embroidered blouse.

‘Definitely maybe.’ Ally said, her chin resting in her hands.

‘Hm-hm.’ You agreed, changing into a different outfit. Denim jeans this time with a faded peach top.

‘Too plain.’ She stated. You looked at yourself in the mirror.

‘Maybe with a different top?’ You proposed and changed it for a bright pink, very revealing lacy tank top.

‘Too slutty.’ Ally said, shaking her head.

‘Yeah I see what you mean. I kinda like it though.’ You said, and put it on the definitely maybe pile. ‘Let’s try another one.’ You started to get out of the jeans and into a navy floral dress that tied closely around your waist.

‘Love it.’ Ally nodded in approval. ‘This is the one.’ You turned around looking at the back. It truly was pretty, with pink and white details, tight at the waist and flowy from the hips down.

‘Okay.’ You agreed and got into some red clogs that tied around your ankles. ‘Let’s go then. Ready?’

‘Ready as ever.’ She answered getting up from the bed.

You grabbed a thick jacket and went outside to wait for Roger who was far too late as per usual. Just as you started to get annoyed he pulled up at the driveway.

‘Hello there ladies, wanna go for a ride?’

He was wearing demin jeans, white sneakers and a silky red jacket with pink flowers. It was a complete mismatch but suited him nonetheless.

Ally got in the backseat so you got in front.

‘You are late. Again.’

‘Well hi to you too.’ He said, then added: ‘This isn’t a date is it. I’m allowed to be.’

‘Being my friend doesn’t give you that privilege.’ You said. ‘Plus I’m sure you’d be late at a date too.’

‘Oh darlin.’ His face was dead serious. ‘I wouldn’t be.’ He looked at you with such an intensity it made you oddly uncomfortable. You just pulled up an eyebrow.

‘Well go on then, drive.’ He let his eyes linger on your face for a second longer before giving a quick nod and starting the engine.

When you arrived it was almost seven so Roger had to rush backstage. ‘Good luck.’ You said, giving him a hug and quickly tried fixing his messy hair.

‘Thanks, join me and the boys for a drink after?’

‘Sure thing. We’ll cheer at you from the audience!’ You and Ally went inside as Roger got to the back. It was quite a large space, fitting at least a hundred and fifty people. The place was already packed and it was extremely hot compared to the cold outside. You and Ally got drinks and made your way through the crowd to the front stage. You sipped at your drink and waited for them to come on which didn’t take long. Brian came in first, getting cheered by the audience. Then in came Roger, waving his drumsticks in the air. You could hear all the girls screaming. Tim, the lead singer entered last and walked to the front of the stage grabbing the microphone.

‘Yesterday my life was in ruin, now today I know what I’m doin.’ He started. Everyone cheered. Your eyes shifted from Tim to Roger in the back who was feverously banging his drums. You liked watching him like this. Completely in his element and in the moment, steady rhythm, slightly pouted lips. The band was clearly also affected by the heat, maybe even more so by the physical exercise and warm stage lights. You could see the sweat rapidly gathering on Rogers skin, his long hair starting to stick around his face.

‘Shall we get some air?’ Ally asked after a while, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. ‘It feels like I’m in the fiery pits of hell.’

‘Alright.’ You agreed and followed her through the crowd to the entrance. Suddenly you recognized a familiar face. It was unmistakably Christina. Rogers crush Christina. She was wearing a crop top and a short skirt showing almost her entire body. She was in the same classes as you so she recognized you and gave you a smile.

‘Cool to see you here!’ She shouted in your ear as though it was more self-evident she was there than you. ‘Do you like it?’

You didn’t really feel like doing the small talk thing with her, but as she was Rogers crush you decided to make a bit more effort. She didn’t seem too bad.

‘Yeah, they’re wonderful.’

‘Can I ask you something, Y/N?’

You were surprised she knew your name. ‘Of course, ask away!’

‘Do you think Roger fancies me? He’s been staring at me from the stage this whole time!’

You were surprised she was so upfront and couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Oh darling, I am positively sure he won’t be able to see you from that distance with his blind ass.’ You said. Then added: ‘But yeah, I think he might!’

‘Oh.’ She laughed a little embarrassed. ‘But.. so you think he does like me then?’

‘Yeah.’ You nodded. ‘I think so.’

‘Thankyou Y/N.’ She was positively beaming. It gave you mixed feelings but you gave her a smile nonetheless. You didn’t want to be the one standing in the way of those two. If there had ever been anything between Roger and you, in whatever form, it would’ve already happened right?

You followed Ally outside and thankfully breathed in the fresh cold air. But only for a second though, as you started to freeze in mere seconds in your cold dress. You jumped up and down to keep warm. ‘Wanna go inside again?’ You asked, wrapping your arms around you own body.

Ally nodded and followed you inside. The band had started their last song and looked exhausted but happy. When they finished the crowd erupted into loud cheers and whistles. You climbed on a wooden chair at the bar and screamed the loudest, fulfilling you job as their personal supporter. They walked to the front of the stage and bowed, taking in the craziness of the crowd. When they left the stage you took Ally’s arm and dragged her backstage feeling privileged you could just do so.

‘You were amazing!’ you cried out flying into Rogers arms who had to steady himself by the sudden weight thrown at him.

‘Thankyou love.’ He said, a bright look in his eyes. He smelled a little like sweat but you didn’t really mind.

‘Great crowd you were. Tasteful energy. Want a beer?’ He asked. You nodded.

‘You too Ally?’ He asked her and she nodded as well, clearly intimidated by the band.

‘There is someone in the audience for you by the way, Rog.’ You threw in casually, taking a sip from the glass beer bottle.

‘What, who? Not my mom is it.’

‘No, no. It’s Christina.’ You said, carefully reading his reaction.

‘You are kidding me.’ He said, genuinely surprised.

‘Nope. Go look for yourself.’

‘But I wanted to celebrate with you first.’ He said, which surprised you a little.

‘Don’t feel obligated, I’ll wait for you. Go talk to her before she’s gone.’

He seemed to hesitate a little so you gave him a reassuring smile. ‘Go before she’s gone.’ You said. And with that Roger was out. You were doing the right thing, you thought. Why did it feel so wrong then? After a while you decided to take a look and opened the door. There was still a vast amount of people lingering in the space so it was hard to find Roger at first, but then your eyes found him, standing at the back of the bar, talking with the girl. He had been with girls, you knew that. He had kissed more than you and you knew he wasn’t a virgin anymore, but you had never seen him with one yourself, having only heard about them.

You knew you were peeking and you shouldn’t be doing it, but your eyes were glued to him and Christina as she leaned forward and kissed him. 

Next part

 TO BE CONTINUED! 

@white-queen-walks, @fics-for-my-heart, @midnightloversville, @killerqueenbucky, @fallinginlovewithwhereyouare, @about-aphrodite, @daarkdreamy, @bulsaratheopera, @notsoinnocent13, @int0-you, @fortuneboldlyfavors, @chaoticjasontoddinsoup, @rogahtaylahthedrumah, @notborednorstressed, @bensroger, @sleeping-bobcat, @mercuriangel, @juliet-taylor

#queen imagine #brian may imagine #roger taylor imagine #ben hardy as roger taylor #ben hardy

[smollandtoll]

HC: Science TA Geno History Student Sid

The second these photos came out we were like IT’S TIME. So HERE. WE. GO:

Imagine a universe in which Sid and Geno are separated by a few more years but not enough for it to be weird and Sid is a history major/gym addict (we just can’t picture him without the lower body) who has put off his science requirements for his degree until the very last possible time to do them. So there he is, 21/22 with a bunch of 18y/o freshmen in first year chem, looking mildly confused three times a week in lecture with his biceps threatening to burst through his intramural hockey tees, carefully seated 2/3 of the way up the lecture hall for maximum anonymity.

Sid does not like science very much. At least, not advanced science; he has no need for it beyond understanding the theory and the basics. He has no burning need to know the world’s innermost workings, and he thinks stoichiometry should go die in a fire.

But he’s also not going to let his GPA suffer because of this stupid class. He has a hard time focusing because he has so many other MORE IMPORTANT things he could be doing with his time so he gets lost easily and feels like he’s floundering and it’s ridiculous and embarrassing.

So, like a good and diligent student he goes to the TA office hours with his last quiz, bracing himself for an hour with some bored grad-school chem major to try and get a handle on the last module before it’s too far into the semester to catch up, and immediately has to squint at the name Evgeni Malkin on the door. He’s not even sure how to pronounce that. Eff-Jenny? Eve Genie? Veg-inni? He knows enough to parse out that it’s Russian and he immediately flashes to a nerdy Russian stereotype playing chess in his office behind thick glasses and a really tragic knit sweater. Sid is prepared to have the WORST time with a hardcore nerd who probably thinks a BA jock like Sid shouldn’t even be in his class - LET ALONE the fact Sid doesn’t want to be there and doesn’t get it and really doesn’t care.

Geno doesn’t make much better of a first impression. BUT to be fair:

The smell in his shared office is vinegary from the eco-friendly cleaning solution that he used to clean up an unfortunate sour cream incident in his small ancient TA office microwave. And it’s also a little like BO because...well because he smells like BO because he hasn’t been home for more than 20 minutes in weeks working on a breakthrough in his thesis. And let’s be fair, all the tiny shitty basements TAs get shoved into smell a little funky. He can’t be blamed!

Re: the point of hasn’t been home in weeks, his clothes are thoroughly dirty, we’re talking food stains, ink stains, lab stains of who knows what that soaked through his labcoat and smeared on his shirt cuffs. Also the clothes he’s wearing are his warmest and most comfortable. Oversized university sweatshirt (he’s so cold always), beanie (covering up greasy hair), his glasses because he hasn’t had time to order new contacts, extra cardigan over the back of his chair for when it gets particularly drafty after dark.

There are a LOT of mugs, and cups, and takeout containers where there aren’t stacks of papers upon papers upon textbooks. Listen, office hours are boring and any time he can get for his thesis is welcome. Cleaning isn’t high on his list of things to do currently.

So anyway, imagine Geno highly sleep deprived (who needs sleep when you have CHEMISTRY), and probably lacking a nutritionally balanced meal and hopped up on caffeine looking up at the knock to his door and seeing the most beautiful man possibly EVER standing in the doorway. He looks wary and faintly disgusted, but he also looks like he smells good, and his hair is a little damp, like he’d just come from the gym or something.

Geno legitimately thinks he's starting to hallucinate beautiful men. But then Sid opens his mouth and Geno recoils because no cute angels actually sound like that, so he must be a student.

And then Sid's asking about his quiz and he's so DETERMINED AND BRIGHT but clearly hating chem and just trying to like STRONG-ARM IT INTO OBEYING HIM. And you know what, this Geno legitimately loves chemistry; the way it underpins all of nature and all of biology, the way you can add one thing to another and get something totally surprising seemingly out of nowhere, the way equations balance out so beautifully when you get them right - the way it’s a whole language that makes perfect and total sense, unlike the confusing jumble of English he’s been putting up with since he moved here for school. He DOES want to help students learn to understand it - to love it like he does, ideally.

Geno probably pulls the test closer for a look and faintly remembers Sid seeing him up close. In class he’d never looked like much, usually wearing a ball cap that kept his beautiful face in shadow and from 40ft away in an auditorium he looked like every other university freshman, not this stacked slice of yum (on second thought, judging by the quality of his internal monologue, Geno is starting to think maybe he really does need to get some sleep).

Looking at the quiz is a little painful in some places though. Geno points out that Sid’s not dumb, but he’s careless with his work.

"This inattentiveness kill you in lab."

"I don't like science, I don't particularly want to be here, but I need this requirement and I'm not going to fly by with a C and let it tank my GPA. SO. we're going over every single one of these quiz questions."

"...You got most right though."

"Still, I could hear a repeat of the concepts, cramming doesn’t help anyone.”

So Sid sits gingerly in the moth-eaten chair in the cramped office while Geno (greasy, owlish with lack of sleep, a little too enthusiastic) tries to impress upon him the BEAUTY of Chemistry and Sid tries to dedicate himself to remembering anything at all while his brain keeps reflexively blanking out every time Geno mentions equilibriums. He’s doing better one on one, but he knew that, he always did better with a focused point for his attention.

Anyway so Sid walks out thinking the TA is like kind of a Russian Science Gremlin Nerd who chats on forums and has never eaten anything other than cheetos (judging by the contents of the wastebasket by the door). And Geno watches the door close probably thinking someone who wears as much athleisure wear and is as jacked as Sid, not to mention was only 70% successful in hiding his general disdain for THE GLORY OF STOICH, is kind of a meathead.

But Sid learned some things and Geno’s a patient if slightly judgy teacher, and Geno knows not everyone can truly understand his love of chem, so they both come out with not...100% accurate impressions of each other, but with a kind of alliance? An understanding? The usual academic relationship you might have with a TA. They're both students, the difference being one gives a shit about the topic and grades the other one’s work. Sid checks in a couple more times with questions and Geno clears up some desk space to help out if he can. 

SO THEN. The semester ends, Sid passes chem, Geno gives him a high five when he hands back his final exam, which has a sticker of a cat with pom-poms saying PURR-FECT on it. Geno loves weird animal stickers (Geno is the weirdest person Sid has ever met maybe).

The next time Geno sees Sid is in the library of all places. Geno would have never thought Sid would be caught dead in a uni library. Like that doesn’t actually make sense the more he thinks about it, but it’s true, he thought maybe Sid’s intensity about his GPA was sport-team related. But here he is stationed at a carrel that is just covered in organized stacks of books, meticulous notes, colour coded even! Sid is hyper-focused on what he’s doing, flipping through a book with one hand and jotting down notes with the other.

Geno: Oh shit I'm getting a competence boner, SID IS REALLY SMART OH NO, HE’S SO ORGANIZED AND DEDICATED. LOOK AT ALL THE TABS IN THAT TEXTBOOK.

He’s beautiful and brilliant RIP G. So then Geno kind of low-key follows Sid's academic career - sees/stalks/stares in the library if he has occasion to be there (SID IS THERE SO OFTEN OH NO), immediately ducking between a couple of shelves whenever Sid looks up or stretches. He finds too many reasons to hang out in the Russian history section, probably bothering Ovi who is actually taking history courses and has a reason to be there and actually knows Sid, much to his disgust with Zhenya when he finds out what’s happening (why not a good Russian history undergrad Zhenya??). Geno has studying to do too! The library is an ideal place to study! What’s that you say, the whole catalogue is even easier to navigate digitally? Shush, you.

The next time Sid sees Geno after the semester ends is in the biggest campus gym. One time he was running on the track for a cool-down and saw Geno swimming in the lane pool below through the windows.

Initially Sid was like "good for him, he doesn't go outside enough, lil russian potted plant/cheeto gremlin."

And then Geno grabs hold of the side of the pool and lifts himself out and Sid almost runs off the track, stumbling hard. Geno doesn't have the soft and furry pale body that Sid was expecting - he's all clean angles with an even tan and the shoulder-to-waist ratio OF A DORITO. He looks insanely long and lean, just legs for days. Sid tries to recollect if he’d ever seen Geno standing before and honestly can’t remember. But watching him wiping the water out of his eyes and walk over to joke and laugh with the lifeguard on her stand, he has to be over six feet, EASILY. He just looked so small hunched in his little office in his sweaters! His face is so angular without the glasses!

So then Sid kind of gets just as creepy as G is in the library and figures out when Geno frequents the gym and starts attending at the same time to creep. The track is raised! It overlooks the pool and he’s a frequent runner! It goes on like that for some time, some mutual creeping in the way you do when you’re on a campus with 20,000 (or w/e) people and you see a familiar face but it would be weird to say hi and so you just keep going about your day/occasionally creeping as one does.

It all comes to a head fortunately one Friday night in late January. Sid gets knocked on his ass yet again at the campus pub one night when he finds out that G doesn't always dress like a soviet grandpa or a mostly-nude glistening adonis. He’s all legs a mile long in jeans laughing with his Russian TA bros, gold chains and a bright graphic tee. He looks so at ease in his clothing the way that Sid never does, because Sid is so sold, blocky, muscular - he always looks like he's 5 seconds from hulking out in his clothing or like he's swimming in his dad's suit, there's no medium. The best he can usually manage is looking like he works in a sporting goods store with an unflattering polo shirt and some track pants. And here’s Geno all handsome and tall and easy confidence with his friends, and Sid KNOWS he’s brilliant too, like this is a disaster.

Meanwhile Geno is IN LOVE with how Sid always looks like he’s going to bust out of whatever he’s wearing but this is just because Sid is still young and hasn't grown into his face/lost some childhood fat and like learned how sleek he can look in well-tailored clothing.

(Brief moment of silent thanks for his current tailor)

G probably sees Sid at the bar as well, looking flushed pink from his drink and giggling atrociously/attractively with his friends. His lips are bright pink and the flush looks so good on those cheekbones and someone’s obviously convinced him to ditch the athleisure and dress like a normal guy for the night. And if Sid is old enough to get into the bar that's not creepy right? They're no longer teacher/student and Sid looks so so so pretty. Geno might be a little drunk and narrating all of this to a very unimpressed Gonch.

(Gonch is a PHD student who is like taking 800 years to do his work because like he's also working a day job because he has a wife and kids)

There are some glances back and forth for a bit, and eventually they can both tell the other is looking looking. Geno is just tipsy enough he plucks up the courage to go over to Sid. And Sid, seeing him approaching, catching his eye, distances himself from his history nerd friends (WE’RE LOOKING AT YOU JACK JOHNSON).

So they meet up in a little nook along the bar, and exchange smiles/greetings (Sid looking up, up, up at him and feeling his flush getting DEEPER). And then the awkwardness sets in HARD. The problem being it's kind of loud in the bar, because they always are, and Sid has trouble with accents most of the time and so does Geno, plus they've both had a few beers.

They end up 100% not understanding anything the other is saying and doing that weird smile-and-nod but not-knowing-what-to-say thing that keeps your convos stilted and awkward with a few “SORRY?”s thrown in for good measure.

They’re still both a little blushy and a little mortified about not understanding. Geno feels like he understood more the first day he came to America he's like "How have I regressed to literally zero English. I don’t remember ANY ENGLISH WORDS."

Meanwhile Sid has realized they can’t really understand each other and the beer has loosened his lips enough that he’s taking advantage of the situation and blurting a lot of awkward stuff he’s way too embarrassed to actually say.

Unfortunately there’s one of those LULLS in the bar where everyone stops talking and the music is between songs and Sid just yells "I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE HOT AT FIRST."

Cue an few cackles from the wings and Sid’s instant mortification. Geno’s face is doing something between fighting a smirk of amusement and being confused/concerned.

Mostly Geno realizes that this is going to spiral out of control very quickly and tugs Sid’s elbow until they’re stepping outside together in the freezing night where their shouts will actually reach each other’s ears.

Basically they end up in a Denny’s at 2 am blushing at each other. Geno getting his flirt on, because once he feels like Sid’s into him he is all confident body language and jokes, getting into Sid’s personal space with his impossibly long limbs. Sid relaxes into being kinda snarky and snide, but so quick-witted and kind, the side of him that Geno had only briefly glimpsed during their office hour conversations. And that’s all it really takes, because they both are the type to go for what they want, and the interest is clearly mutual, and it turns out they already know a bit too much about each other’s schedules and they just make it work in the best ways.

They quickly turn into THAT COUPLE that makes all their friends roll their eyes, and Geno never stops chirping Sid for “I didn’t think you were hot at first.” both in front of other people and while Sid is trying desperately to wrestle G’s jeans off (“oh, I’m hot enough now, Sid?” “shut UP Geno and lift up your hips!!”).

Of course being the academic doorknobs they are, neither of them realize that this is an everlasting permanent kind of love, a LEGIT COLLEGE SWEETHEART KIND OF LOVE until like Sid meal preps Geno's entire week without asking whenever he knows that there's a big assignment coming up and he's never gonna get out of the lab, so he like keeps eating vegetables and not just cheetos and potato-based dishes.

Geno adopts all Sid's weird little rituals in his spaces because he respects that Sid has a system and is serious about his studies and has witnessed the meltdowns that can occur when too big a wrench gets thrown into Sid’s day. He never bothers Sid while he’s studying, but working out a system to ask unobtrusively if he wants a snack.

Geno willingly gets pranked by Flower because there’s HAZING when it comes to roommate’s significant others showering in their bathroom.

Sid has an intimidating family dinner with the Gonchars he was in no way prepared for, but gamely shows up with a bottle of wine and a button down shirt that is still creased from the packaging.

By the time Geno is cheering in the crowd at Sid’s graduation they’re maybe getting an inkling what their future looks like, full of too many bookshelves, messy stacks of papers and notebooks, missed anniversaries for papers and research but made up with good sex and take out, lumpy knit sweaters over the backs of chairs and ugly but charming antique furniture. Full of each other.

#sid/geno #sidgeno #hockey RPF #headcanons from the icy void #disclaimer: smollandtoll are unaware of the status of geno's relationship to cheetos

[bcfphotography-blog]

The Fear

In a song called “The Fear” by indie band Lomelda, the titular fear is the fear of death, of being forgotten, of not being enough. Fear is an emotion that seems to dominate my life. Those concepts scare me, too, but so does simply talking to people, giving presentations, asking questions, doing anything incorrectly, failing, and so much more.

Everyone has the fear inside them, but some people feel it to a degree that is debilitating and unreasonable, and that’s when it earns a different name: anxiety. I have gotten so much better over time, but I still have a long way to go, and I have a feeling that I’ll still be taking the fear with me. Hopefully, I can get it to be more like an annoying teacup chihuahua than a monkey on my back.

You know the feeling when you misjudge where the last step on a staircase is and nearly fall over? That dreadful, panicky, stomach-dropping feeling? I once heard a joke describing anxiety as constantly feeling like you’ve misjudged that last step. On the precipice, nearly falling, fear coursing through your veins.

A glass sitting precariously on the edge of a table is a good representation of that feeling, too.

Living with anxiety is a little like living as a snail. Progress is made slowly, at your own pace, and the weight of life could easily crush you at any moment. While leaving its shell would kill a snail, the opposite is true for those with anxiety. Staying in your shell is lonely and nerve wracking, and trying your best to branch out is the key to leaving it.

You can never truly escape it; the shell is part of the fear, after all, but you can slowly learn to handle it and do the best you can despite your built-in setbacks.

Due to my anxiety, I couldn’t complete this project alone. I wanted to take pictures at school, an environment I often find myself stressed out in at best and terrified at worst, but I broke down and had to ask for the help of my lovely sister.

Anxiety can make you feel very, very alone. It’s like walking down a dark hall, and every face you catch a glimpse of in the murk is incomprehensible, unknowable, and is certainly judging you. I don’t have a shy bladder, but I prefer the almost-always-empty bathroom in the Industrial Tech building simply because it feels easier and less awkward for me, even if it’s on the other side of campus.

Like many, I’m fond of familiarity and routine. Between classes, I always sit at the same set of blue chairs in the Student Union. When I started my first semester at Fresno State, I had no idea what to do between classes and just sat outside wherever I was supposed to go next, but that was impractical, and now I’m most comfortable at the almost-always-empty chairs.

This picture is of the wrong blue chairs on the other side of the Student Union. The right ones are my best friends at this school other than my sister, and since I write in them a lot, I’ve joked that I’ll dedicate the book I’ll publish someday to them.

During my first year at Fresno State, I didn’t gain the infamous freshman 15. Instead, I lost 10 pounds due to simply not eating enough. I was too nervous to order my own food, too nervous to eat food I brought from home, and too nervous in my home environment to eat breakfast. On top of that, no one will teach me how to drive, so I couldn’t go home and eat something. On some days, I was there from 8 AM to 8 PM, eating only dinner with my mom after she picked me up.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten better at eating at school, but the fear hasn’t entirely left.

Ordering food for myself has been an absolute nightmare at times. Stuttering, freezing up, and wanting to cry and go home have all happened in the past, often in that order. I thought Tapingo would help, since you could order online, but at Subway, you still have to go to the counter and ask if your order is there, unlike Taco Bell which just sets the bags out.

I froze up, standing near the counter but unable to go up and ask for around 20 minutes before my sister thankfully intervened. Now, I’ve gotten more used to it and can do it myself, which is really great.

For a good while, I was too nervous to even use the vending machines on campus. It’s very silly, since that doesn’t involve talking to anyone, but I was afraid of somehow messing up or taking too long and bothering other people. I can use them with ease now, which I definitely appreciate.

My weight loss has been worrying to say the least, so I have started bringing these little Nestle brand bottles of what’s basically Pediasure to school just in case I am too nervous to get my own food. I also use them to get extra calories and other such to try to gain that weight back, but it hasn’t made a huge difference so far.

My mom and stepdad share a house with his parents and his sister, and though they’ve been nothing but kind to me, I’m just nervous around them. It’s hard for me to eat by myself there, since I feel like I’m intruding or in the way somehow even though it’s my house, too. This situation contributed to my weight loss, though I sincerely wish it did not.

This year, I’ve been staying at my dad’s house. There’s a lot less people there, so it’s quieter, easier for me to focus, and more comfortable for me to take care of myself. When I’ve gone back to my mom’s more recently, I’ve felt quite a bit better, but the fear isn’t gone.

I’ve been told that my anxiety only makes me rude and a burden upon others. I’ve been told that it makes me selfish, that I only worry about myself, that my anxiety is a facade, that I disregard the feelings and needs of others only to gain attention and sympathy for myself. I know that most of it isn’t true, but I still worry that I’ll never have a positive impact on the world around me, that I’m not, as the sticker says, a badass.

Last semester, I needed a lab book for my biology class, but I was too nervous to do it alone. I asked my sister to come with me, but she refused, saying she didn’t want to “enable me to be a fucking weirdo that never talks to anyone.” I had a breakdown, since I needed the book later that day, and she had plenty of time to help me. I eventually forced myself over to the bookstore only to find that it was out of stock, and I needed to print another downstairs.

Luckily, my sister changed her mind and decided to help me, but not without complaint, and she often tells me that my anxiety is inconvenient and annoying and that I do not try hard enough to fix it.

I’m pretty sure no one likes taking tests. Multiple choice is definitely my favorite kind of test, while timed essays are the absolute worst. I’ve frozen up and not written a single word before, which is obviously a terrible idea. I’d even get freaked out during math facts quizzes in elementary school, the little sheets with a hundred easy questions on them you had to fill out within a certain time frame.

Buying the scantrons was a problem for me, too, and I couldn’t do it by myself for a while. Contradictory to what my sister thinks, I’ve gotten better at that along with many, many other personally difficult things.

Recently, a band I really like had a concert at Strummers in the Tower District. I was the only person I knew who liked the band, so I ended up going alone. It was the first time I’d ever done something like that by myself, and I was a little nervous, but I had a fantastic time. If you are too young to drink, the employees will mark a large, black X on your hand, and I’m only 20.

This semester, I attended a sociology class on pop culture with a really cool professor. In April, he told us that he’d be doing a panel on comic book movies at Frescon, an anime and comics convention at Fresno State, and I was very interested in going. However, no one could go with me, so I went to a con by myself for the first time. Just like with the concert, I had a great time despite being very nervous.

A different professor did a panel on pulp magazines and said that anybody who wanted help getting published could go talk to him, and I did!I still need to email him a short story, but it was so great that I overcame my fear and did that.

When considering the charms on my backpack and the stickers on my laptop, it’s obvious that I’m a huge nerd. I love comic book movies, and I adore both Deadpool movies. At Dragon Ball and Heroes Con at the Fresno Fairgrounds, I actually cosplayed as a character from those films named Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and many people talked to me and took my picture, and I even participated in the cosplay contest. I have cosplayed in the past, but never at a con this big, and I had been even more nervous back then.

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

Study Tips Straight from My Professor

Hi guys! So a lot of our classes are starting today, even with the eclipse so I thought I’d share some tips my teacher sent out to help everyone get a better grade in the sciences classes, which may or may not be slightly trickier than others. It’s important to realize that no one can get through all of these, so pick what is most important to you. 1) Put in the time. Using the “three-to-one” rule, three hours of studying outside of class time per one credit hour. If your class is 3 credits, you should be studying independently an additional 9 hours. For 4 credits, 12 hours. Teachers expect you to treat studying as your job (even if you do have an actual job) meaning you should virtually be studying anytime outside of meals, class, sleep, work, etc. > To clarify, this is per week. Not at all per day. You will never be able to shove an appropriate amount of studying per class into one day. Do not try, it is not healthy. 2) NO cramming. It is MUCH more productive to study a little each day rather than 9 hours the day before a test. You will remember virtually nothing if you do and will not be as happy with the grade you recieve. Taking it in little bits stores it in long term memory and you will actually learn it rather than just regurgitating it onto a test. 3) Time management is crucial. Especially if you are someone who works or has kids or other priorities that also need attention. Make a schedule and. Stick. To. It. 4) Be prepared and organized. Do not be the person who lost their pencil and doesn’t have an extra, forgot a notebook or textbook, keys, etc. Give yourself enough time so you’re not rushing and make sure you have what you need! Your college professors are not here to attend to your personal needs when some of them have 800+ students a semester. 5) Use a calender. Write down your assignments, projects, class times, anything you need to remember. Use it religiously because it will be so much easier than trying to keep it all inside your head and that way you will not forget anything. 6) Use the book AND the notes. Most professors write things in a different way than the book and reading something in multiple different ways will better help you remember the concept rather than the sentence word for word. 7) Read ahead. Doing so helps you prepare for and not be lost in lecture and it will benefit you as well as the teacher. 8) Attend all/as many classes as you can and be an active listener. Sit up straight, face forward, don’t pay attention to what others around you are doing (I sit up front whenever possible). Keep an extra piece of paper near you in case you have questions so you can either ask or go back later and look it up yourself. 9) Take detailed notes. With permission, record the lecture so you can hear it again later, abbreviate whatever you are scribbling down, and then as soon as you can after class, rewrite it in a neater, nicer way and don’t be afraid to word things differently. A review shortly after class is proven to help it convert to long term memory. 10) Keep your phone off in class. I know we all love our phones and class is boring, but it’s also crucial information. We’ve all been through that period of regret where we wished we had paid attention. Don’t let that happen anymore. Use it only for emergencies and recording lectures. 11) Even if you don’t rewrite your notes after class, review them. Make sure to pay attention to anything the teacher may have repeated or any learning objectives they would like for you to know. 12) Study early and often! This goes along with no cramming but the sooner and more repetitively you relay information to your brain, the easier it will be to remember it. If you don’t look at the information for 2 weeks and then suddenly need to remember it all, not only will you be too stressed to retain it, you’ll also be wasting valuable time. Make your own study guides and test questions. 13) Make flashcards. Flashcards are only useful when you a) shuffle them occasionally and b) take the ones you’ve memorized out of the pile but still review them every now and then to make sure you still remember. Put any back in the pile that you missed. 14) Use mnemonic devices for lists of related terms. 15) Type or rewrite your notes. I’d recommend writing them again, because physical writing by hand is another way to help remember it. 16) Consolidate your material. This means: tables, lists, figures, concept maps. Reasonable chucks. 17) Teach it to someone else. The best way to tell if you have mastered something is that you are able to explain it to someone else correctly in a way that makes sense. 18) Pick a good place for effective studying. We all love our study groups, but let’s be honest. At most the first 20 minutes is talking, then 10 minutes of studying before half the group is surfing Tumblr and the other half is complaining they’re hungry. I prefer to study by myself for this reason. Find a quiet place with minimal distractions and get prepared to work your fucking ass off. 19) Get decent rest before the exam and be sure to get there early or on time, unpredictable situations included. Exams are important and your teacher will not care if there was a traffic jam. If you miss the exam, you miss the exam. 20) Learn from your mistakes. Review your incorrect exam answers and figure out why it was wrong and why the correct answer was correct. Talk to your teacher, TA, resource lab, anyone who may help you if you’re stuck. 21) Review the midterm and start preparing for finals. Most of the midterm material should be on the final, so it’s one of your best study guides. 22) Keep your textbooks and notes. I know we’re all broke as fuck and would like to sell them back, but you never know when that information will be useful in another class down the road. 23) Do NOT discuss grades, quizzes, tests, or exams with your class mates. Of course they’ll complain that they didn’t study, that chapter 6 was this, or chapter 8 said that and it was confusing. This type of conversation will only make you nervous so steer clear of all of it. Edit: I have made an adjustment to #2 to clarify that the 3 hours of studying/1 credit hour for that class should be per week, not per day. 💕

#study #studyspo #studyblr #school #college #study tips from a professor #education #high school #higher education #notes #class #tips #fall 2017 #med student #sophomore undergrad

[polymetis-23]

Diary Entry Sept. 12th, 2021

Day 1: Sunday - Computers Galore!

   Everything is starting to settle down after the hectic week that was orientation. There are still some events happening for fraternities and sororities, but I don't think I would have the time to commit to them this semester, maybe I'll try recruitment next year. Either way, now that I am not running around like a chicken with their head cut off I can focus on getting properly set up my station.

   Wait… I'm not sure I ever explained to y'all what my goal is. Looking back through old posts the answer is no, sorry to keep you in the dark but basically I want to become a hero. I've always loved reading the comics and watching the movies growing up and now I'm somewhere that I can develop the technology to become one myself. Cool right!?

   So basically I brought a couple monitors and a desktop tower with me so I could surveille the city for anyone in need of help. I do need to figure out how to hack into the cameras around the city though … I have gotten some books and am taking a class this semester on coding so hopefully the hacking thing won't be too bad. I mean, everyone in movies has somebody who can do it right?

Day 2: Monday - Coding == spaghetti + alphabet soup; result = TRUE

  Okay, so I promise I read some of the coding books prior to coming to campus and thought I understood what was going on, but uh, I don't? I mean there are all these letters floating around and subsets of letters that are supposed to be abbreviations for long words but then multiple words start with the same first few letters sooo… yea idk. And even if you can figure out what variable they are talking about (or even the ones you create, because I'll be honest, I term a variable and then work on some code and about 20 lines later have forgotten what it means), you are then jumping all over the place because of functions and then there are classes above functions and objects which can jump between classes and each have their own set of functions so you can't use the same function on different objects if they have different classes unless one is a subclass or the function exists in multiple places but then you could have the same named function that acts differently depending on the class of the object and yeah. Are you confused yet, because I'm not (that is a lie, I am totally lost in this mess of coding and hope the intro class can help untangle it).

Day 3: Tuesday - Going old fashioned

  Okay so maybe I was a little over ambitious trying to hack into the city camera network without having taken a single programming class cause yesterday was a complete fail. So I think I'll go a bit more old fashioned and get a radio to scan all the police channels. I'm not giving up, that's not what this is, I'm just putting the coding on a back burner until I actually understand what is happening, plus the police scanner will be enough for the majority of crimes right?

  I went dumpster diving (I know gross) around campus to see if I could find any old police radios, cause correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think store bought radios can usually hear those frequencies? Thankfully it was worth my time cause I found an old radio hidden in-between the cushions of a couch. (those things are literally black holes). Anyway I returned to my room to take a shower and set up the radio.

    Upon searching the best ways to connect the radio to my computer, I discovered that yes, you can buy radios that can listen to police channels so I guess all that the dumpster diving did was save me some money/time (you can apparently build these things too? Maybe I should research more often). Anyway I got the radio hooked up to my computer so I can keep things centralized before going to sleep. Oh yeah, classes also start tomorrow.

Day 4: Wednesday - Classes, Yay!?

    So I had my first day of classes today and isn't college supposed to be less time consuming than highschool even if the material is more advanced? Classes only meet 2-3 times a week and I don't even have all my classes everyday. Like seriously, in highschool I had 7 classes every day 5 days a week. How on earth did my 3 classes today feel like more work? Maybe I'm just not used to it after summer break? I'm going to bed early tonight cause I have my remaining 2 classes tomorrow and I feel like I'm gonna need more energy than a single human can possess.

Day 5: Thursday - Classes aren't that bad.

  I guess I was just a little overwhelmed yesterday cause today was much better. Maybe it was partly because I attended a small highschool so, seeing that many people in the same long hallway was a very new experience. Maybe I'm just starting to get into the swing of things, I don't know. Reflecting on classes so far, I don't have much actual work yet seeing as most classes have just been reviewing the syllabi, though I'm sure I will actually have to start learning stuff tomorrow and next week.

   I did have some free time today in which I was able to create a prototype of the lenses that I want to use for my goggles. They're a bit flatter than I would like but I don't know how to curve the technology without breaking it yet so I guess that will be an advancement for later. Thankfully I was able to find some code online that already takes the signal from the camera I ordered and puts it on a screen so I might actually be able to use these soon.

Day 6: Friday - The camera hath arrived!

  I got a notification this morning that the camera I ordered had finally arrived and I could pick it up. Thankfully Friday is a pretty light day for me in terms of classes, otherwise I might have skipped some to get the goggles working and that would not have been a good start to my college career. Of course nothing can go smoothly when building stuff (why do shows have everything just working, can't they actually show me how to make it work and the errors I might encounter? It is so much more entertaining watching them than some old white dude drone on about vectors and integration… maybe the fact that they montage through the failures is what allows the shows to be interesting. Hmm something to chew on there I guess.)

   I'm writing this at midnight and should probably get some sleep, but I will most definitely be testing these goggles tomorrow.

Day 7: Saturday - The test!

   The goggles turned on without blowing up! (That's a start right, something I should be excited about and not something that is a given with these sorts of things?) And I could actually see what the camera was seeing, although it was a little disorientating cause the camera is a good inch above my eyes and the screen is translucent so I'm getting an overlap between what I can see in front of me an a shrunken off set view of what the camera can see. The weirdest thing is the fact that the IR camera (the code maybe?) shows things tinted red, I guess that is how the programmer decided to depict the IR waves since we can't normally see them. The camera had a couple different modes built in, the most interesting being the thermal detection where everything was displayed in a gradient across the rainbow (I'm sure that will come in handy later). But I think the default is all I can use for now with the contrasting position of the camera and my eyes, I'll have to sort the rest out later.

   I went outside once it got dark to test the goggles in a setting more similar to where I would be using them. Thankfully I went out late and there weren't a lot of people around. Everything was covered in a haze of red, I had no idea there was this much ambient IR radiation. Some of the building windows were slightly more intense, I assumed there was some poor grad student staying late to finish their research. I continued to look around exploring the new layer of information I could see before turning around to head back to my dorm. As I was walking to my dorm I could see across the river and stopped in my tracks. There were bright red beams shooting across my vision, quickly I took off my goggles to get a better view, but the lights vanished. Confused, I put the goggles back on and there they were again. Every few seconds a bright beam would shoot up off the ground and across the sky. The angle looked too steep to be coming from a window so there was definitely something happening on the ground, but what? That was the question. *low battery* flashed across my eyes. Great, I forgot how long I had been testing the goggles, I'll need to add a power pack to the next version of these. I guess my exploring is done for the night so I'll see you guys next week.

- Polymetis

#fiction #oc #writblr #writing #vigilante series