#also those goats have such bizzare horns
Text
Concept: Line and Zelda going around trying to investigate cryptids in Hyrule not realizing most Hylians actually think they’re the cryptids.
- Basically Link and Zelda are going around and exploring trying to figure out why a bunch of weird stuff keeps happening around the villages and settlements of Hyrule. And they (of course) help out with small tasks and explore wherever they go.
- The rest of Hyrule sees them as these benevolent cryptids; Link and Zelda are oblivious to this.
- Zelda suggests her and Link go around with some “disguises” to keep their investigations on the down low. This...doesn’t help the rumors.
- Usually the rumors and things Link and Zelda go investigate is just stuff the Hylians have made up about them or just crazy shit Hylians are doing to summon them.
- Their efforts to investigate usually make the rumors more wild.
- “Link why is there a crop circle with a scarecrow in the center that looks remarkably like us?”
- Zelda would definitely want to record and report her findings and share them with everyone she meets, but her notes or findings get misinterpreted or changed, which adds to the mystery. It’s like a game of telephone where the initial statement gets more batshit as it travels from ear to ear.
- Link is just as confused about what's going on, but he also adds to the mystery by leaving unintentionally vague hints about what they find.
- Eventually Link kind of catches on to what's happening and thinks this is HILARIOUS. He starts giving people ideas on how to “summon” him and Zelda.
- Link DOES think that this one goat they keep running into is possessed by some sort of spirit because it seems to follow them but whenever Link gets close to try and befriend it, it goes nuts and false charges him.
#newtsdoodles#zelda#zelink#botw#loz botw#loz zelda#loz link#goat eyes are haunted change my mind#also those goats have such bizzare horns#how do they grow#do they grow separately and then fuse somehow when they reach a certain height#or do they just grow out of the skull in a circle#I have questions#Zelda research this please#this is the real mystery of Hyrule#the last one is just me trying to practice backgrounds
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I went to see The Ritual yesterday...
Overall view: It was dire. I'm usually quite a big fan of horror films but this one was utterly obismal. I apologise if you like this film. You don't have to agree with me. These are my opinions and I do not believe them to be fact. If you have differing opinions, that is absolutely fine. Please do not hate me because of this post. WARNING *spoilers below* Firstly, I wanna talk about the actual characters. Now the actors weren't bad. I'm not crapping on the actors here. But the characters they played were just so unlikeable. They were aggressive and insanely stupid. How stupid they were actually distracted me from the main plot. Who in their right mind would just keep going through the forest when you have no idea where it leads and whether it was a proper path or not. Especially after experiencing a night like they had in the creepy shack. Any sane human would turn around, go back the way they came and get the hell out of that crackhouse. And if there was a noise they would go investigate. Or they split up in the complete dark. And they yell at the top of their voice when they know some crazy thing is stalking them. It made it very difficult to engage with them or sympathise with them. Also, they were meant to be a group of friends and yet literally right from beginning to end they were at each other's throats the whole time. There were only a couple of moments where they actually seemed like good friends as a group and these moments seemed out of place due to them being so rare. I also felt the amount they swore was unfitting. I have no problem with swearing really as long as it's not in the wrong place at the wrong time but I felt like this was in excess. The swears were about every other word. It was actually difficult to make out what they were saying by how much they were swearing. I've met saliors who swore less. Have you actually tried swearing as much as the characters do? It's actually really challenging to try and squash in as many swears possible in one sentence and still try to make it make sense. Even people who are complete potty mouths and are as liberal as one can be amoungst friends would find it an effort to swear that much. It was just so distracting from the actual dialogue. My second point is that basically, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen the film. Literally the first half an hour of them hiking and saying they're gonna cut through the woods is literally the trailer but extended. Also, all the jokes in the trailer? That's it. Those are all the jokes. Those are all the funny moments. That is almost all the banter. All the good bits that made me wnat to watch the film, that allllllll the good bits. All of them. They're all in the trailer. My next point is the scare factor was very low. They do a monster reveal way too far from the end. One of the things that makes horror movies scary if not knowing what is actually stalking you through the woods. If you reveal that it's some giant demon goat thing with hands for horns then suddenly it's not scary any more. It becomes less of a horror film and more like an action film. In the end the main character dude was just trying to fight this giant beast as if was any other hero against villain story. I also thought the dream sequences of the supermarket made it less scary. It took away the factor of it being dark and therefore unable to see what is going on. Every time you saw the supermarket nightmare I felt disconnected from the main story. It was too distracting. My next point is that so much was left unexplained and didn't make sense. Why was Phil praying to that thing? What even was the goat demon monster thing and where did it come from? How did it end up in the forest?Why did it grant eternal life to these people and how? Why did it need sacrifices for this and why did it stick those sacrificed people in trees? Why did they pick Luke (main dude who lives) to go through the ritual and live? Why did he keep seeing the supermarket nightmare, something that he's afraid of, but Dom kept seeing his wife, something he dearly loves? What did those symbols actually mean? Why couldn't the monster get out of the forest? Why the frick didn't they turn around? My last point is what I think is one major plot flaw. Them getting lost. It made it too much like a disaster movie and less like a horror movie. I found it difficult to focus on whatever was freaking these guys out because I was so focussed on them being lost and trying to get home. And then at the end when the guy magically finds himself out the foresd after only running a few hundred yards. It just seems impossible and unrealistic regarding the circumstance the characters were in. When the main guy gazed out on the distance and could see the end, that forest went on for miles and miles and miles. It made no sense to suddenly have him pop out the other side of forest almost accidentally after what the characters had been through trying to find their way home. I feel like it would have been a lot creepier and easier to focus on if the characters actually knew where they were going and weird crap was happening to them anyway. I was so invested in them finding the way out and getting annoyed at them for doing stupid stuff that when this creepy monster started appearing it didn't really bother me because it didn't seem like a big deal compared to the fact of them being completely and utterly lost, provided they didn't go directly towards it... oh wait they did. And then the screaming match at the end, like wtf was that all about. You ain't gonna scare that thing away by screaming at it sweetheart. It looks like a living Satan. The actual ritual scene and the sacrifice bit at the end was so bizzare I didn't really care what happened at that point. I just wanted the film to end so I could get on with my life. Overall very poorly executed. Do not recommend. Whoever directed this sorry piece of shit needs a kick up the arse. Again, if you don't agree, that's absolutely fine.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
