#also this is why the bar is so high for me in relationships lol

[daffodildelight]

Enemies (Part One) | Shuntarō Chishiya x Reader

Title: Enemies (Part One) 

Pairing: Shuntarō Chishiya x fem!reader

Summary: You and Chishiya always had a rocky ‘friendship’ if you would even call it that. But feels get revealed under intense pressure

Themes/Warnings: fluff, guns, season 2 spoilers

Word count: 2500sh

A/N: So unedited, will deal with it later. First ever fanfic lol so please be nice, made this in under 3 hours.

You and Chishiya always had a rocky relationship, you had arrived at The Beach after him but slowly made your way up the ranks. Becoming semi-close friends with the Hatter can do that for you. Since you were making your way up the ranks you began getting close with all the high-ranking members, you got along with most of them except for Niragi and Chishiya. Niragi because he saw you as a piece of meat and you would do all your power to get away from him and Chishiya because in you’re eyes he sees you as a weak little girl.

But your relationship with Chishiya started to change leading up to the 10 of hearts games. He would start to act nicer towards you, making sure you had arrived from your game unscathed or even trying to make conversation with you. You had to admit, it was kind of nice. But you also found this rather confusing so you went to the one person who you could get answers from Hikari Kuina.

You found Kuina sitting in the main bar at the beach, wearing her signature blue bathing suit while chewing on her dummy cigarette. ‘’Now look what the cat dragged in, how are you doing (Y/N)’’ she looked genuine when she says this but you can see a little glint in her eye. ‘’I know you and Chishiya have gotten closer in the past few months and I was wondering if I could ask a question?’’ You tried to sound as neutral as possible but Kuina could always see right through you. ‘’Let me guess, it has to do with our mutual friend Chishiya?’’ she smirked, always right on target.

‘’Yeah, why has he been checking up on me lately? It’s getting kind of weird because it’s not in his personality. Is he trying to use my connection with Hatter to get something? I mean it’s the only logical reason’’ Kuina laughed at your comment. ‘’Only logical reason! I’ll tell you this right now but you can’t repeat this to anyone, he totally has the hots for you.’’ Now it’s you bursting into laughter. ‘’Very funny Kuina, tell me the real reason why.’’. Kuina looks stunned ‘’You know I would never lie to you (Y/N)’’. Giving up on your line of question you left with a ‘’yeah whatever.’’

A few days passed, and tensions are rising within The Beach, you can feel it. Ever since Aguni has taken over from the sidelines things are going from bad to worse. Chishiya seems more in his head than usual. You were hanging out in the bar when suddenly the P.A. went off. ‘’We would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank you for staying at Seaside Paradise, Tokyo…’’ A man with a calming voice spoke on the P.A. Everyone at the bar looked around confused as were you, then the man continues ‘’As a token of our appreciation, we will now commence a game with all 59 participants in the venue…’’ All the TV’s around the room flash with one image which gains everyone's interest. The 10 of Hearts. The Beach is a venue and it’s a 10 of hearts game? You were not looking forward to this. ‘’All participants must assemble in the lobby immediately. The rules of the game will be explained.’’ There was a feeling in your stomach that this game was gonna cause massive problems. So you and everyone else in the bar migrated into the lobby and grabbed one of the many phones on the table to register for the game.

While waiting for all the players to arrive you make eye contact with Chishiya from across the room, none of you pulls away and it was probably the first time you never felt a dislike towards him, instead it was something much different. My focus was pulled away when someone yells ‘’Momoka!’’ and there she was living lifeless on the floor with her orange and white striped bikini knife stabbed into her heart. Being a part of the games you had seen lots of death but watching it be someone who lives in the house as you and has been helping you since you arrived sets a horrible gut feeling within you. A ding rings from the phone in your hands which now gains your attention. ‘’Game, witch hunt. The murderous witch who killed this girl is hiding amongst you in plain sight. The witch role is not limited to women. To clear the game you must find the witch and burn him or her in the fire of judgement. Time limit: 2 hours.’’ Massive roars were held within the lobby and you knew things were gonna go south within seconds. As you were trying to think of a plan to do anything Chishiya carefully grabs you by the arm and walks you away from the group in the lobby without raising any suspicion. He leads you through multiple corridors and rooms before placing you in a wardrobe. ‘’Things are going to turn into shit (Y/N), stay in here and don’t the door open for anyone except me, I’ll get you when this is finished.’’ Chishiya gets up to close the door before you ask: ‘’Why are you doing this? How do you know I’m not the witch?’’.Chishiya looks at you carefully. ‘’Because I need to know that your gonna be safe, and I know your not the witch because your not the type to kill a person (Y/N).’’ He then leaves through the door and you stay in the closet. After around 10 minutes you believe this to be a good idea because you can lot of screaming and multiple gunshots.

After what seems like an hour and a half sitting in a closet listening to screams Chishiya opens the door and pulls you out of the closet. The hallways were full of smoke and dead bodies on the floor. Chishiya takes you to Kuina and you guys make your way to god knows where. ‘’Will someone please tell me what's happening? Who’s the witch? Where’s Hatter and Aguni? Where are we even going?’’ you groaned loudly while walking barefoot into the city. ‘’Everything will be explained to you soonly (Y/N)’’.

You make your way through some ground tunnels until you reach a room with loads of dead bodies and computer scenes. Then you finally explode. ‘’What the fuck is happening!? Someone explain everything to me now! I'm so confused… where are we? Where’s hatter?” Chishiya sits me down and gives it to me straight, how hatter died a few days ago and thats why aguni took over. How Asahi told everyone she was the dealer of the game, and why Momoka killed herself because she was the witch. It was very hard to listen but Chishiya sits next to me and comforts me the best way he knows how. By stroking my hair, it was really nice minus the horrible things he was telling but all that stopped when we heard footsteps coming towards the computer scenes.  Arisu and Usagi walk through the darkness and Chishiya make us known to them. “So you actually found this place. I expected no less from you. Thanks to you two, I have all the numbered playing cards right here. Thank you.’’ Chishiya looks as smug as ever, you can’t help but feel a little bit more attracted to him.

Conversations were exchanged between the four of them, trying to figure out how each person got to the same place, and what even was this place. You tune yourself out of the conversation and decided to turn and sort out your conflicted feelings. Why did Chishiya save you? You don’t have anything to bring to the table, maybe a few hand-to-hand combat skills but that’s it. Why are you even having feelings for Chishiya? This was starting to get very annoying for you but your train of thought cuts out when all the screens turn on and you see Mira walk into the shot. Everyone exchanged confused glances. She goes on to explain how there are going to be new games and these games will be the ‘face’ card games. But it left all of us wondering, when will we ever get back home?

We all make our way into the centre of Tokyo trying to think about the new information Mira has given us. We look out into the streets of Tokyo and see multiple huge blimps with different kinds of face cards on them. One huge billboard with ‘Next Stage: Start’’ written on it. ‘’None of the games has started yet’’ spoke Arisu standing in the middle of the group looking so tired. ‘’Maybe we still have time’’ Usagi spoke next trying to reassure Arisu. ‘’Or they forgot to push the big red start button’’ Chishiya replied, Arisu and Usagi turned around and gave Chishiya a look, and I couldn’t help but give a chuckle. I noticed Chishiya smirk a little. ‘’They didn’t tell us about the rules for this one.’’ Signs Kuina. Everyone in the group continues to look around confused. Usagi looks like she notices something. ‘’What is it?’’ I ask with Chishiya to my right. ‘’I hear something’’ Usagi replies and looks towards the street. We all turn and watch the street with her. Multiple cars approach us, and I recognise them as Beach people. They all hop out of their cars and Arisu goes to investigate. ‘’What is this? What are you doing here?’’ He asks one of the members. The members of The Beach go on to say ‘’We saw the blimps show up, there are rumours that the next stage is starting’’. Arisu getting a little frustrated says ‘’Right… here's the thing’’ Suddenly the members of The Beach are getting shot down.

‘’A riffle, get moving,’’ Chishiya says in a weirdly calm way when people around him are dying. ‘’That thing is an anti-tank rifle. So I’d forget about hiding behind a car.’’ He tells the group. I decided to take initiative for Chishiya at this moment, I grab his arm and we follow Arisu towards some buildings. Chishiya runs ahead of me and covers me with the rifle. When the group meets behind the building Kuina asks ‘’Does this means the game started?’’ Chishiya quickly replies ‘’I don’t know’’. Kuina continues ‘’Did they give us any rules?’’ We slowly make our way around the building. ‘’Without rules this is just a massacre’’ Shouts Arisu. ‘’That rifle can kill from about a kilometre away,’’ Chishiya tells the group, he goes from covering me to holding my waist if not for the adrenaline I would assume my bodies reacting like this because of him. Different sounds now come from the gun. ‘’And now we’ve got an assault rifle.’’ Chishiya continues. We all huddle as a group and give comments about things we are witnessing and ideas on what could be happening. ‘’Maybe there are different shooters’’ Usagi speaks up, ‘’Other players are grouping up, I didn’t know there were this many players left’’ Kuina adds. ‘’There almost here!’’ Arisu shouts and backs away from the mysterious shooter. ‘’Let's go!’’ Arisu yells while taking the group back into the street. ‘’I don’t think this is a good idea Arisu!’’ I yell in hopes he can hear me but the blast from the rifle is too much. ‘’We need to split up’’ Chishiya yells and grabs me by the hand and pulls me from the group.

Chishiya and I start sprinting down the street, hands holding each other while bodies fall all around us. I trip on a rock and Chishiya is there to scoop me up from the ground and we continue running. Hands still interlocked tugging each other towards different directions. I see Kuina from a distance and drag Chishiya with me to catch up with her. Kuina looked grateful that somebody else was with her and the 3 of us crouched behind a car. Kuina looks down and see’s Chishiya and I’s hands interlocked. She gives me a knowing look and I turn around to focus on more important things like Arisu and Usagi running along the opposite side of the road trying to help somebody. I make eye contact with Arisu: ‘’Are you trying to get killed out there!’’ with that comment the gunman takes fire in our direction. I hide back behind the car. My back is up against Chishiya's torso and I can feel his breath on my neck. Kuina speaks up ‘’Where are they shooting from anyway?’’ we then hear a loud rumbling from above us and see the huge blimp with a kind of spade flag hanging below it. ‘’Huh, he must be the king of spades’’ Chishiya tells us he then turns to me. ‘’Take this it’s a good luck charm’’ He gives me a handmade explosive. ‘’Thank you Chishiya, I don’t know what to say’’ I can’t believe Chishiya would give up an explosive for me. ‘’Just use it if you have to.’’ and he gives me a smile. I turn to look away feeling a bit flustered but then I notice a man dressed in a long dark black cloak. I point towards him and direct Chishiya and Kuina towards what I’m looking at. ‘’That must be the king of spades’’ I whisper lightly. Chishiya whispers back into my ear ‘’I think your right’’ I turn around to say something but got caught looking into his eyes. My concentration on his eyes disappears when Kuina spots Arisu, Usagi and some random dead guy in the car next to us. ‘’Hey! You two okay? You hurt?’’ Kuina pipes up, and Chishiya gives them a wave. Shots continue to fire as we hide behind the car. ‘’We’re pinned down here’’ I say loud enough for us to hear. ‘’If we step out, he’ll get us!’’ Usagi replies. All of us try to figure out a plan to get out of there but nothing seems to be working out and the king of spades is getting closer. My train of thought gets broken when I green car that I’ve noticed from the beach before pulls in front of us honking its horn. ‘’Get in!’’ yells Tatta from the passenger seat. ‘’Tatta!?’’ Arisu and I yell in surprise and relief. ‘’Don’t just stand there!’’ someone yells from the driver's seat. ‘’Ann!’’ Kuina yells. Usagi and Arisu are the first to make their way to the car followed by Kuina, me and Chishiya. Ann opens the passenger seat and Arisu, Usagi and Kuina make it safely. Different story for Chishiya and me. A grenade is thrown towards the car door and Chishiya stops me from walking on it. ‘’That’s bad. Get going!’’ He yells towards Ann.

In a split-second decision, I decided to kick the grenade towards the kings of spades will Chishiya grabs my hand and tugged me the other way. ‘’(Y/N)! Chishiya!’’ I hear Kuina yell from the car. Chishiya pulls me behind a car and uses his body to shield me from the blast. At that moment I’m glad that I was stuck with Chishiya because I know that if I had to pick anyone out of the group to survive with it would be him and unfortunately for us, we won’t be seeing the group in a while.

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland netflix #spoilers #fluff #shuntarō chishiya #shuntarō chishiya x reader #chishiya x reader #chishiya fluff #chishiya smut #chishiya alice in borderland #arisu #arisu alice in borderland #usagi #usagi alice in borderland #kuina x reader #usagi x reader #arisu x reader #ann #ann x reader #tatta #tatta x reader #first time #chishiya shuntarou #chishiya shuntarou fluff #chishiya shuntarou smut #chishiya #shuntarou #chishiya shuntarou x reader

[slayerkitty]

Let's Talk About Trust, Baby

I've seen a lot of posts where people are really confused about Mew and where his head might be at with regard to his relationship with Top. Why he hasn't given Top the boyfriend title back, why they haven't had sex yet, etc. That led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about the relationships between the characters and the one thing all relationships need to function - TRUST. If you don't trust your significant other or your friends/family, etc, what kind of relationship can you even have? I tried to break this down in groups/pairs and some of it might not be as thought out, so there may be more on this as the show goes on but here we go.

The Fab Four

So there's a lot of context we're missing about the relationships between our core four dysfunctional besties (Note: So far, Cheum doesn't seem that dysfunctional, you're doing amazing sweetie!) such as how they met, how long have they been friends (what the hell Ray and Mew got up to that one night... *ahem* I digress). Now, we don't have any real answers to these questions (yet) so I'm taking some educated guesses based on my own college experiences and what I've generally picked up from other university BLs typical story telling.

I feel like the four of them met during orientation (except maybe Ray and Mew, I'm waffling on thoughts that they've known each other since high school). Most university BLs set it up that the mains meet during orientation, bond during whatever torture the seniors are putting the freshman through and kind of build their friend groups based on that.

I also feel like they may have gravitated toward each other or remained a group because they're all queer. BLs can go either way on whether or not homophobia exists in their narrative and I think that Only Friends is going the more realistic route (and it's Jojo) so I think that I can definitely see them bonding over being queer. They find an LGBTQ bar and it becomes their thing to do together. Most friendship groups form because people just sort of fall in together due to circumstance and they seem no different.

But do they trust each other? Signs point to yes. (I was shocked too, lol)

Mew and Cheum: We haven't had much focus on her, but he seems to value her opinion and listen to her advice. (We also know that April likes him from the time they've spent together and he likes April, so I would say he and Cheum probably have pretty good trust built up.)

Mew and Boston: He believed without a single doubt when Boston said that Top had never had a lover longer than 3 months and that Top would probably, as Ray put it "nail and bail" once Mew and Top have sex. Cheum also believed Boston. Do I think Boston was lying here? No. But neither do they and that's important. Does Boston trust Mew? I think he does. His issues with Mew are not about trust.

Mew and Ray: These two vibe a little different than the rest of the group. They seem closer; they seem like they've talked about "the deep stuff" (vs maybe superficial topics with their other friends). Their first one on one scene has them talking about Ray's alcoholism seriously (even though Mew doesn't push about it as much as I would have liked) and you can tell there's an intimacy there that the other group members don't share. Whether that stems from whatever it is that happened that night in the video (I am salivating about this, it's delicious, I need more info) or because they've been friends for longer, I don't know.

Let's move on to the pairs:

Cheum and April: Do they trust each other? I assume so? Cheum goes out drinking with the boys at least once a week and April seems okay with that (we haven't heard otherwise), so I'll say yes? (Jojo, I NEED MORE OF THEM. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN ANALYZE. GIVE US MORE.)

Sand and Ray: I'm gonna call this one as Sand does not trust Ray, but Ray trusts Sand. Sand knows that Ray is a walking red flag and he's trying to resist but Ray is making it really hard. *ahem* Ray bailing mid-make out is not helping Sand's trust issue. If you look at how Sand has cared for Ray since episode one, however, Ray most likely trusts Sand. I mean, Ray talked about his mom to Sand. I think that's a biiiig deal.

Mew and Top: Thanks to Boston, neither of them trusts the other. And this, right here, is why Mew has not moved the relationship forward. HE DOESN'T TRUST TOP. He's still worried that Top will "nail and bail". Remember Mew's checklist from episode two? He only checks off "gets along with my friends" (HAH!) and "respects me" but not "doesn't lie to me". We can infer this means it hasn't been marked off since he doesn't mention it to anyone in this episode. Given that a lot of us clocked Mew potentially spotting Boston's trunks on the floor in the shower, along with him questioning if Top was telling the truth about the fire, it's clear this is the one thing holding him back.

If Mew agrees to be Top's boyfriend, then the expectation of sex becomes a lot higher (it shouldn't but that's a different discussion to be had). It's also implied in the narrative (and from Jojo) that Mew is a very structured person and he doesn't like to lose control (re-watch the counter scene from episode one. You know you want to. I'll wait). The moment that Mew realizes that he is way too into what they're doing, he panics because he doesn't have control over the situation.

Up until episode three, Top did trust Mew. He trusted him enough to get vulnerable and then Boston blew it up by fabricating a narrative backed with evidence of...something between Ray and Mew (I'm seriously dying for this scene, I need it).

Another thing I am having thoughts about is that in this episode, Top referred to himself as Mew's boyfriend and so did Cheum and Mew didn't deny it like he did in episode two. When Top's *ahem* "buddy" approached them at the silent disco, it was very clear that Mew expected Top to introduce Mew as his boyfriend and was visibly (if momentarily) upset that he didn't.

Boston and Nick: Yes and no, but also no and no, respectively. So Boston trusts Nick with some things but not everything which leads to him lying, gaslighting and manipulating (he's a triple threat). In turn, Nick lies right back, because what else can he do? (a lot of things actually, oh Nick, you are starting to spiral hard.) This leads Nick to rigging the CCTV video to show on his phone and to wiretap Boston's car, which just shows you his trust in Boston is non-existent.

In conclusion: Trust is another theme the show seems to be exploring: earning it, keeping it, and what you do after trust is broken. I think it can tie back into the ongoing ephemerality discussion as well: trust isn't permanent. You have to earn it, maintain it, and once broken, it's gone (and seldom can be repaired).

Also, everyone needs therapy.

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad: @waitmyturtles, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, @ranchthoughts, @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Hope I didn't forget anyone!

#only friends the series #thai bl #only friends meta #Hope this made sense

[harlowsbby]

Urban ignoring you at an after party. You are just wanting to have fun with him and vibe. But he is enjoying all the attention and forgetting all about you. You eventually just leave in tears and head back to the bus. Jack and Neelam are there because jack was tired and just wanted to go ahead and rest. They try to comfort you and are pissed at Urban. But you are just tired of Urban mistreating you, you get a hotel and book the next flight home because you just can’t be near him. Jack and Neelam help you and try to get you to stay but also understand. By the time Urban gets back, wondering why you left and not realizing what he had been doing. Jack lays into him. Urban is in a panic.

You can take it from there lol

All for us

You tended to cling onto people and you told Urban that in the beginning of your relationship with him, of course he didn’t mind because he loved how much you needed him and loved him but eventually he was getting tired of it and wanted his own space and to be around other people without you hot on his tail.

Urban and You were at the after party he was hosting at in Washington D.C. you didn’t really know anybody at the event besides Shloob and the rest of the Private Garden so sticking to Urban’s side the entire night was what you were going to do.

“Urban come on man we’re taking shots at the bar it’s on the house!!” Nemo yelled over the loud music that played in the club.

“I’ll be there in a minute Nemo!” Urban wasn’t completely drunk just a bit tipsy and high off all the weed he smoked before the club and during the club. Partying wasn’t really your scene staying in and watching a romantic movie was your type of scene.

Just as Urban was going to get up and leave you pulled him back by his arm he looked at you with a confused and irritated look on his face.

“Yes baby?”

“Where are you going Urban you can’t just leave me here alone. I don’t know any of these people sitting on this couch.” You stated awkwardly and looked around at all of the either drunk or stick up girls around you.

He smacked his lips and sighed all night you’ve been on Urban and most times he loved how much you wanted him and only him but at the same time he wanted his own space.

“Baby please you’ll be fine you’re a big girl you can mange to sit here by yourself for a few minutes, I’m just taking a few shots with Nemo and the guys then I’ll be right back.”

“Why can’t I come with you?!” You we’re already standing up your purse wrapped around your shoulders and a smile on your face ready to follow Urban to the bar.

“Baby I love you I do I’d do anything for you but please Y/N I need my space, I despise that you always feel like you need to be around me, I am my own person. I don’t need my shadow following me around wherever I go.”

Ouch that one hurt you didn’t even know Urban thought of you that way, you didn’t know anybody if you were being honest and you didn’t really see the issue in wanted to be around your man and only your man but clearly he did.

“I’ll just uh I’ll just stay here then till you get back.” You hugged yourself and went to sit down on the couch before Urban had the chance to say anything else he was being pulled away by Sunni.

“Come on man you’re taking forever.” Sunni laughed and Urban frowned, he looked back at you for as long as he could before he got lost in the crowd of sweaty bodies.

“Was that your boyfriend?” One of the girls on the couch asked you, looking over at her your nose immediately crinkled up. She reeked of alcohol, her hair was a mess and you were pretty positive she was missing an eyelash.

“Yes it was.. why?”

“If that was my man and he was acting like that towards me I definitely would’ve broken up with him.”

“Well it’s a good thing that isn’t your man.” You barked back, tossing her hands up defense she turned to you and smiled weakly.

“All I’m saying if you seem like a really nice girl and the way he treats you doesn’t seem like he’s worth the stress and pain. If he really loved you like he said he does he wouldn’t have a problem with you tagging along with him.” You hated to admit that just maybe this girl was right, ever since you’ve gotten to this club tonight Urban’s been ignoring you and trying his best to blow you off and you were tired of it.

“Thank you so much that means a lot.” The girl gave you a soft smiled and nodded before getting up to find her friends, you sighed and closed your eyes before standing up as well trying to find Urban at the bar through the crowd.

“Where are you Urban.” You mumbled and began to tap your fingers along your purse it was something you did whenever you started to get nervous or overwhelmed.

After looking around the club you finally spotted Urban at the bar with Nemo and Ace. You struggled walking through the crowd of sweaty and drunk people but you safely managed to make it through.

“Uh oh here comes your shadow.” Nemo mumbled in his drink. Urban turned around and mentally rolled his eyes seeing you coming his way.

“Urban I’m staying with you and I don’t care what you say.”

Nemo and Ace snickered and chuckled at your demand, Urban’s face clenched and unclenched.

“No you’re not Y/N go sit back down and make friends or something you’re capable of doing that I’m sure.”

“You know it’s hard for me to be social and you know I have anxiety so leaving me alone isn’t exactly going to help me now is it.”

“Just let her stay Urban she isn’t bothering us at least.” Nemo spoke, you glared at him and turned your attention back to a now red faced Urban.

“Y/N I love you I do and I’d do anything for you but please leave me alone. You’re everywhere I go and it’s honestly really annoying. For the rest of the night do me a favor and act like you don’t know who the fuck I am.” Nemo and Ace ooo’d at his comeback while you were on the verge of tears.

You weren’t sure why he was acting this way but you were fed up.

“F-fine if that’s how you feel I’ll ju-just go wait in the suv.” Urban frowned and reached out to grab you and apologize but with your head hanging low you quickly made your way out of the club.

“Man you sure did tell her ass.” Urban thought he’d feel a sense of relief having you no longer by his side but the minute you left he regretted everything.

After awhile Neelam and Jack were getting tired of being out and had told everyone they’d be resting in the Suv.

“Y/N what are you doing in here? Are you crying.” Worry and concern evident in Jack’s tone he pulled you into him immediately with Neelam right across from his soothing your leg in comfort.

“What happened Y/N?”

“Urban is what happened he knows I have bad anxiety and even coming to the club I didn’t know anybody but obviously Urban and you guys but he kept saying how all I do is follow him around like a shadow.” Neelam frowned at your words because she had no idea why Urban would say something like that to you.

“What made him say that?”

“I don’t know Neelam but I would rather get my own hotel room for the night and leave in the morning.”

“You aren’t leaving Y/N.” Jack was a bit taken back by everything Urban had said to you because Urban was always so sweet and caring when it came to you, the last thing he wanted was for you to leave.

“I can’t stay here Jack especially with not knowing how he really feels about me”

“Well if you feel that’s the right choice we’ll stand beside you but at least let me pay for your room and flight.”

“It’s okay Jack I can pay for my own room and flight honestly.” Just as you were about to book the room Jack had quickly snatched your phone and put in his card information and booked your room.

“Jack why did you do that for?” You punched his shoulder and pouted, rolling his eyes he pulled you back into him and kissed the top of your head.

“I’ll let you pay for your flight and you’re my friend and this is the least I can do.” The car ride back to the hotel was quiet but a peacefully quiet. The entire time you just thought about Urban and your relationship with Urban.

Maybe he was acting out because he had too much to drink but it’s like they say a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

When you arrived to your hotel room Jack and Neelam helped you check in a settle down before leaving you to be.

“Where’s Y/N at?!” Urban laughed and hiccuped, the beer taking it’s tole on him, Neelam was already off to bed but Jack stayed up waiting to make sure Urban returned safely.

“She left Urban.” Taking his eyes of his private garden ring Jack watched how Urban’s features went from excitement to worry.

“What do you mean she left?”

“Do you not know what you said to her earlier? How you called her your shadow and basically wanted nothing to do with her.”

“What.. what I would never say that to Y/N and you know that Jack.”

“Do I Urban? Because the Urban I know wouldn’t leave his girl or a girl in general to cry her heart out in a city she doesn’t know.” With that Jack got up and went to bed leaving Urban alone standing alone starring in the spot Jack once in.

I’m taking it all for love, doing it all for us.

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #urban wyatt concept #urban wyatt blurb

[myuiis]

(same anon who asked for sinu analysis) well first off let me ask your thoughts on YeonhuixSinu

Despite my undying love for this man- I'll admit they're cute n all BUT I always felt it was undeveloped.

I don't know if it's just me but when Jason (I think) said he'd snitch about him being with neko to her I was confused back when he was still under the influence of those pills at workers. Like, Did I miss something? Did I forget something from the gaps between the arcs? Idk. But even if she was shown to be worried over Sinu, it didn't seem romantic at all especially that all the big deal girls cared too. PTJ also made it seem like an already established relationship and I'm still questioning when?? She seemed to know him well and all but no hinting of any romantic attraction was there, just your average big deal romanticism and admiration lol.

I understand that PTJ has to leave some details away for the sake of the pacing but I think he could've at least thrown some hints here and there.

ok yeah. so this won't be a super long post because i am tired but good lord i am very... lukewarm about sinu and yeonhui. im with you on the "who?" when yeonhui was mentioned again in 2a. now im glad that sinu is with someone he's happy with but man... sinu and yeonhui is just such a mid ship compared to literally anyone else he could've been shipped with. let me explain.

yeonhui's lack of presence in the story. now this is probably the main reason i find this ship so lackluster. how am i supposed to root for a ship when the female love interest is literally like npc #125? while she did have more presence than the other girls on the street, this isn't really a high bar considering ptj's track record writing female characters. and this isn't to say she was boring or had a bland personality either (even though she KINDA did...). she was strong and independent, stood up to samuel when he tried to extort them for money (iirc), bore the burden of sinu's sacrifice and stayed strong for big deal, and was there to comfort jake when he learned of the news. she could've been a REALLY interesting character because she was so strong and also stuck to her ideals in the same way sinu did, so they could've been such a power couple, had yeonhui been developed more. it would've been nice to see yeonhui and sinu strategize about how to protect big deal together, or see more of yeonhui bandaging and caring for sinu after he gets hurt, or seeing sinu bring yeonhui gifts and money... or anything, really. the two have barely have any substantial interactions over the entire arc besides the last part where sinu's about to sacrifice himself, so much so that it makes me wonder... who is this yeonhui person? why are they important again.

chemistry. this mainly comes up to personal preference but yeonhui and sinu feel more like an older sister-younger brother dynamic to me. yeonhui took sinu in as a child, fed, clothed, and cared for him, and then continues to take care of him as an adult, which comes off as big sis behavior. again, some people may like this dynamic romantically, but i personally find it super platonic and sibling-leaning.

other sinu ships. idk. just find it a LITTLE heteronormative that any man and woman who share a little bit of screentime together are instantly a couple while sinu and jake can be out here pulling "you are my everything" and "i came back to big deal for you and you alone, jake" moments, and they'll still be just "good bros". again, kind of up to personal preference, but if you compare yeonhui x sinu to jake x sinu or even samuel x sinu, there's a clear lack of interactions and chemistry for yeonhui x sinu

so yeah. thats kinda it. this ended up being way longer than i expected so im not gonna write a conclusion paragraph but those are my thoughts around yeonhui and sinu together romantically.

#lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #jake kim #samuel seo #sinu han #yeonhui #kim gimyung #kim gimyeong #han shinwoo #seo seongeun #big deal #lookism rant #myuiis bullshit

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Vil, Jade: Wanting to Shine

Schoenheit mama lore 👁️ Mmm, somehow TWST keeps managing to impress me with just how diverse its families are. There are characters with bad relationships with their guardians, characters with good relationships with their guardians, and then… non-existent relationships altogether. Ruggie is one such example (since his mom died before he had the chance to know her), and now we have Vil as well… I wonder why he feels so impersonal toward his mother?? 🤔I hope we can find out more details someday.

Aaanyway, sorry that this is so late, I got super busy with irl things 😅 but happy belated birthday, Vil!! (xbjsvsjwnz Right as Ruggie’s Broomquet art was revealed too lol) ***WARNING: spoilers for episode 6 of the main story!!***

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

“What would you like to do this next year?”

Jade glanced up from his clipboard. “If the answer is to come from someone as tenacious as yourself, Vil-san… Your goals must be ambitious indeed.”

“Ara, is that so? Sharp, aren’t you?” Vil tucked a finger under his chin. “You would be correct in your assumption.”

“You’re but 18 years of age, and one age my senior—yet you’ve already accomplished a great many things, much of which the common man can only dream of. “Modeling for the top fashion brands, playing the lead roles in a number of feature films… Many, many accolades,” Jade chuckled, his voice dropping to a gentle purr. “What more do you hope to do?”

“My, you’ve got quite the grasp on my resume.” Vil’s brows pinched slightly. “However, you misunderstand one key point.”

“Oya? And what might that be?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Vil laughed, tipping his head back with a smirk. “This is nowhere near the pinnacle of my career. No—there is much more that I will achieve.

“For starters, I wish to expand the scope of my presence on set. I’ve dabbled in directing and producing my own modest works through my Film Research Club, but there is still much more for me to learn. Before I graduate, I would like to leave my mark in that area.”

His lips pulled into a smile—small but proud and genuine. “At present, we are working on a short film. The plan is to submit it to a contest and to take home the grand prize.

“Everyone is putting forth their best effort to make that dream into reality." Vil's deep-set amethyst eyes twinkled with fire. "Life makes no promises, so we must seize our stories and write our own fates."

"Spoken like a true leader--how commendable. We underclassmen truly have a wonderful senpai to look up to."

Vil allowed his broom to lean into the crook of an elbow. "I'm no stranger to compliments, but I shudder to hear it coming from you. It's far more benign coming from Rook or Ortho."

"Ah, that reminds me. Ortho-san recently joined the Film Research Club, yes? How does he fare under your tutelage?"

“Need you even ask? Of course I've welcomed him with open arms. He is proving himself to be an excellent asset for our productions. There are many things that only Ortho is capable of doing, from special effects and audio to getting clear aerial shots.

"His acting has also improved considerably. A bit clumsy at first, but with time and observation he has quickly learned. It's impressive just how much Ortho's 'heart' comes through in his performances."

"Oya, such high praise. Idia-san must be a proud big brother."

"Indeed, Ortho is a star on set." Vil tossed his hair over a shoulder. He still smiled, but there was now a cold, lethal beauty edging his lips. "He's setting a high bar for the other spudlings--but I won't be outdone by him, nor by anyone else.

There was a hesitance, the soft sucking of breath through teeth, and then... "Do you recall when I returned from Styx? The state that I was in?"

"How could I forget? Why, you were so old and withered, we barely recognized you as the same glamorous Vil Schoenheit that graces magazine covers and TV screens. It was very memorable, fufufu."

"Stop that grinning before I smack that smirk right off of your face," Vil snapped. (Jade immediately obliged.) "As I was saying, that experience... it opened my eyes to a great number of realizations."

"Oh? You don't say."

Vil nodded. "It was like my life was flashing before my eyes. A full 18 years of memories and feelings colliding at once, and the chilling thought that I would soon be robbed of what little life I had remaining, my future stolen from me... It was terrifying.

"But you know what? I'm glad for having gone through it. Unpleasant as it was... I looked into that mirror and walked away with a glimpse of what lies far ahead for me--and I am here now, able to make the most of the present.

Vil lifted a hand, cupping the stars above in his fingers. "When I live, I want to shine. I want to put my best effort into every piece, every production, that I am a part of. With my name and face out to the public, I can reach more hearts, inspire more people. Then..."

He lowered his hand, fingers closed in a fist--as though he had fished a precious piece of starlight right out of the sky. Vil's lashes were heavy, fluttering like petals in the wind upon his cheeks.

"... That would most definitely carry on into the future. Not just into my future, but into the futures of all I have impacted through my acting. My spirit has become a part of them--and through the lives I have touched, my spirit is alive, and I will continue to shine. That is the power of art and media: it persists long after the creators are no longer with us."

“I see." Jade spoke delicately, as though he, too, were bewitched by the beauty before him.

Such raw, overwhelming charisma and determination. Such… power.

The eel suppressed his mirth.

“In that way, you would be leaving a piece of yourself with the organization. Long after you have graduated, your legacy will still live on in the Film Research Club and through your countless fans."

"You understand."

Vil held his interviewer's gaze. There was a solidarity to their silence, a knowingness, a mutual agreement, between the two. The night, its moon, and the stars, were their audience upon that shared stage.

"My 'beauty' will be eternal, no matter the age I am. I'm certain of it."

His declaration was loud and resolute against the night.

Above the duo, the hands of a grand clock tower turned, locking them--and Vil's promise--into place. Bells roared to life, ringing in a new hour with their deep, reverberating song.

Bing-bong, ding-dong! Ding-dong, bing-bong!

The time of reckoning had arrived.

"I believe that's my signal to exit stage left." Vil swept his broom in an elegant arc. Pink, violet, and maroon particles fell from the bouquet affixed to one end.

"Yes, we wouldn’t want you to keep your beloved fanbase waiting.” Jade took a step back and dipped into a bow. His eyes humbly lowered to the ground, he said, “I wish you safe travels—and the best of luck with your endeavors.”

“Hmph, just who do you take me for?” Vil planted himself on the handle of his broom. He folded his arms, assuming a haughty stance. “I don’t need luck, I’m confident in my own abilities to see my goal through to the very end.

“Now then… Be sure to sear this image into your memories. There won’t be many opportunities for you to witness me at the height of bloom.”

“As you wish.”

With that, Vil departed, his broom rising steadily before sailing off into the darkened sky. Poised, and as close to perfection as he could manage.

A wayward spring breeze tousled his flaxen locks. Silver moonlight wove itself into the gold of his hair, seeping into the cream of his skin.

Petals scattered around him, swarming the birthday boy in a storm of flowers. Vil caught one between his thumb and forefinger—a petal so rose-red it was like blood upon freshly fallen snow. He planted a tender kiss upon it before releasing it back to the wind.

The illuminated face of the clock tower cast him in a heavenly glow. His silhouette, sharp.

A beautiful promise for the future.

Jade smiled after him. Not warmly, but not coldly either.

I’ve learned many things about Vil-san today. Yes… many, many interesting things.

#Vil Schoenheit #Jade Leech #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #Vil birthday takeover #spoilers #something no one asked for #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst scenarios #Vil's “I want to shine” speech was inspired by Grovyle's speech from PMD: Explorers of Sky #Grovyle you the real OG

[charmercharm3r]

Toxic

KSM

Masterlist

wc: 9.9k

Synopsis: Someone should’ve taken the alcohol away, now his phone won’t stop blowing up with your name.

warnings: smut, dom!seungmin, explicit sexual content, sorta reader x minho somewhere in there, shower sex (a couple times -ish), slight breeding kink, lots of alcohol, dirty talk lol, lmk if I missed anything!

Part 6 of my 8 part series based off the album, “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t” by Kehlani, where each member of Stray Kids will have a song dedicated to them and whatever toxic relationship I can come up with.

-

Seungmin was stoic— he always was. He was the rock in high tide that never seemed to drift, and it was something you always loved about him. No matter what, he held you down and continued to do so through your increasing reckless behavior.

Until it got to the point that he just couldn’t. The independence, the late— drunk— nights, the crowd lining up at your feet that wished to be the one in your bed instead of Seungmin, it became too much.

He never held it against you. No, if anything, he enjoyed the attention you got when you’d down another shot and leave all the lightweights in awe. He loved watching you be your most free self when the alcohol finally coursed through your veins and made you forget all the worries of the daytime. There was nothing he loved more than seeing you in your element.

However, somewhere along the line, it was also the last straw and he couldn’t bear the crushing weight of the attention anymore. The possessiveness he felt overtook his usually logical senses and made him lash out in the worst way possible. Jealousy, envy, the need to prove you wrong– it got the best of him.

On a night where he’d driven the two of you to your usual late night spot, coincidentally the same bar you’d met at all those months ago, he’d let you have your fun again and blow off some steam. But in the midst of the same fun that he encouraged you to have, you became forgetful and neglected interacting with him. He knew you weren’t flirting with the bartender, but that bartender had always had the biggest crush on you. For a while, he just watched.

“Let me get you something I think you’ll like,” the bartender, Minho, said as he side-eyed Seungmin next to you. You were leaning your elbows on the counter, nonchalantly twisting your hair between your fingers.

Without looking at him, you whispered in your boyfriend’s ear, “think if I flirt hard enough, he’ll give us the drinks for free?” 

The question made Seungmin clench his teeth in annoyance. He knew this is what you always did, and Minho always gave you the drinks for free in the end. You. Just you. Seungmin still had to pay for his own. But the statement had him almost keeling over in anger because before, he thought you were just unaware of your charm. Now, he realized you’d been doing it on purpose all along.

“Why don’t you stay and find out? I’m going home,” Seungmin downed the last of his glass and placed it upside down on the counter with a thud, causing you to look up at him as he stood. Shrugging on his coat, he took the car keys from your purse.

“What? You’re wanting to leave? I thought you wanted to go out tonight?” You stood with him, draping your own coat over your arm to follow him. Instead of letting you take his hand like he knew he should’ve, Seungmin pushed you back down into your seat by your shoulder without a glance. Confused, you rested your hand on his that lingered on your shoulder. “Seung? What’s wrong?”

He’d never been this outrightly mad at you before, so cold you started to worry despite the alcohol that made your head dizzy. He knew that if he looked at you, he’d cave and remember that it was just for the free drinks, you didn’t actually like the stupid bartender. But as usual, he had to be stubborn and prove his point. So he shrugged you away from him and left you there.

Ultimately, taking the car keys meant taking your house keys as well. Thankfully, you had enough cash on you for an Uber home. But that wasn’t before you had a few more angry shots of tequila to drown out the sadness that followed your boyfriend’s sudden leave. Minho kept you company, of course, seeing you sad and alone. Nothing went further than talking with the bartender, explaining briefly what happened and letting Minho pour you another drink. You also let him hold your hair back when you threw up in the bar’s restroom, and wipe away the residue, and hold you when you started to sob because you were upset that your boyfriend was mad and had no idea why. That was a wake up call for you, immediately ordering the early morning ride home to find out.

Seungmin didn’t sleep. As soon as he’d gotten into the car, the guilt of leaving you drunk and alone crowded his thoughts more than the anger did. He sat in the parking lot for almost an hour, hoping to see you outside and coming home. But when you didn’t, he left. He drove home so fast that everything looked like a blur. By the time he’d cleaned himself up and sat in bed, it was almost 3:30 in the morning and you still weren’t home. In order to keep himself occupied, he began cleaning the house, keeping his phone on the ringer in case you called.

You almost fell asleep in the Uber, on the verge of knocking out as you rolled up to your apartment. It took you a good chunk of time to get yourself into the elevator and to your front door. You only needed to knock once before your boyfriend opened the door, hair wet and pajamas on. As soon as you saw his face, you fell into his arms and cried.

“I– I don’t know what I did. I don’t know,” was the most coherent sentence you said for a solid fifteen minutes. All Seungmin could do was hold you, let you get out all of your tipsy emotions. He rubbed your back, wiped your tears, but the smell of alcohol overpowered any sympathy he felt.

Crocodile tears, he told himself as your sobs started to simmer down.

“We’ll talk about it in the morning,” was what he said.

“No, we’ll talk about it now.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m sober enough to know that you left me. Alone. With no way home.” You were definitely sober. The look of anger on your face let him know that he royally fucked up. But still, he stood his ground.

Walking over to the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to you over the kitchen island where you sat. He didn’t move, just staring at the empty sink as he tried to think of words to justify why he’d done it. “You got here in one piece, didn’t you?” It was a stupid thing to say. But that stupid bartender with his stupid free drinks and his stupid dumb jokes that made you laugh, it made Seungmin dumber than any of that.

You weren’t one to scream and shout, opting for the silent treatment instead. So you looked at your boyfriend because lack of response was always the best way to get the truth from someone. The silence always made him uncomfortable, specifically in times where you should be scolding him.

“He just wouldn’t shut up. It’s like I wasn’t even there and he just kept bringing you drinks. Was I invisible or something? You sure as hell didn’t seem to care if I was there or not–”

“That’s why you left? Because you were jealous?” You laughed mockingly. Hiding your hands in your face, you continued to so that he didn’t see how hurt you were. Tears were quickly wiped by your palm as delirious laughter filled the apartment. “You’re a real piece of fucking work, you know that?”

“Me?” He shot back, “I don’t flirt with bartenders for free drinks. Right in front of you, at that!”

“You could have told me you wanted me to stop. But no, you left me there instead. And still haven’t apologized.”

“I don’t need to apologize when I haven’t done anything wrong.” He held himself together as long as he could. But you could always see right through him, no matter how strong on the outside he seemed. His throat contracted, chest stuttered to breathe, eyes slightly glazed over. There was no winning this fight.

No more tears left, you took the water bottle and drank, slamming it onto the counter and walking to the bedroom. Seungmin watched as you left without another word, jumping when you slammed the door and left him alone.

Anger no longer consumed him, just the same underlying guilt he felt when he waited for you in that parking lot. Stoic, rock-like, Seungmin didn’t shed a single tear as he took his temporary place on the couch for the night.

He woke up early the next morning, constantly checking the bedroom door to see when you’d come out. But as the day dragged on and you didn’t emerge to even grab something to eat, he got worried. You’d never ignored him for this long, let alone gone without your usual morning coffee that the two of you shared. So when four o’clock rolled around, he decided to see what you were up to.

He found your shared bed neatly made, closet closed, nothing out of the ordinary. But upon further inspection, your side of the dresser was empty, your nightstand was bare, and a small suitcase was tucked under the bed. He heard you shuffling in the ensuite bathroom, the sink running loudly. Then he heard sniffles, almost completely drowned out when the shower began to run, too. Seungmin couldn’t stop himself from leaning against the door to listen, just hear your painful cries that were all because of him.

It felt like hours that you’d stood under the hot water, getting out any leftover emotions before having to face your ignorant partner again and tell him you were leaving him– not that he’d care.

Too lost in your own head, you didn’t hear the bathroom door open, or hear him strip his clothes off and join you in the shower. It wasn’t until you felt his hands gently slip around your waist did you notice his presence. You didn’t speak. He didn’t speak. No words were exchanged as he pulled you tighter to his chest, brushing your hair away from your face as he kissed the crook of your neck. You thanked the heavens that the water washed away any remnants of your sadness before he could see it.

He doesn’t know why he did what he did, why he left you last night. All he did know was that he couldn’t bear listening to you cry anymore.

Emotional. Heart-leading. Reckless. Slightly selfish. Do now, think later. Fall fast, fall hard. One hundred percent.

Those were the words that Seungmin thought of as he found your shaking hand and interlaced your fingers, spinning you to finally face him. When you didn’t look up, he brought his knuckles under your chin and made your eyes meet. Cheeks puffy and eyes red, you held your gaze on him. Seungmin felt weak, starting to fall victim to the spell that wrapped him around your finger in the first place. He began to feel like you were so far away from him even though your hand squeezed his. Your fingertips ran lightly over the centerline of his abdomen, trailing over his collar bones until they reached the underside of his jaw to tip his head down. The warm water suddenly felt all too hot as you slicked half his bangs back with your wet hand.

You wanted to see him. See if there was any feeling of love left for you behind his stone cold eyes. When he bent down to kiss you, there was something that told you he still did, only it was different. Thankfully, you were quick to adapt. Change was an old friend, feeling an unfamiliar fervor behind his lips was welcomed by yours, venom laced.

The kiss deepened, he unlocked his hands to bring both of them to your hips while yours kept his head trapped. Seungmin let himself grip the fatty skin of your ass, kneading it as he became painfully aware of his aching boner. He gently turned the two of you so that your back was against the shower wall, hiking one of your legs up by the underside of your knee. You only broke the kiss to hold on to his shoulders for balance, feeling him dip his head into your neck again and nibbling on your warm skin.

Two fingers ran through your folds, wet from the water but sticky with arousal. It was easy for Seungmin to slick the essence around as he played with your cunt, just circling your entrance. Your grip moved to the back of his hair, pulling it and enticing him to continue. The harshness of your nails against his scalp ripped a moan from his throat, vibrating against you. The sound of him made your hips buck into his hand.

“Seung, please,” you begged, tugging his hair harder and hips stuttering.

“As you wish.” It was slightly from a place of spite, but he pushed his fingers into you anyways. Your head fell back upon feeling the stretch, grinding your clit into his palm. Seungmin didn’t move, letting you fuck yourself on his hand while he just enjoyed the way you moaned. It was his intention to leave marks along your neck and chest, claim you and make sure everyone knew who you belonged to.

He felt your walls fluttering and pulsing tighter, ripping his hand away as soon as he felt you about to tip over. “What the fu–”

He cut off your complaints by crashing his mouth to yours, grabbing your other leg and lifting you to support your body against the shower wall. As his tongue roamed and your ankles locked behind his back, you reached between your bodies to align his cock with your needy hole. As quickly as the situation escalated, Seungmin dropped you slightly to slide in. The water was nowhere near how warm you felt around him, pussy throbbing from your first denied orgasm.

Seungmin let his head fall against your chest, listening to your heart beating erratically. You pushed back the hair that fell wet against his forehead as he steadied his breathing. Time stopped, relishing in the feeling of you and never wanting to let go. But he reminded himself of last night, how badly he treated you and how he needed to do so much to make up for it.

For only the second time since joining you in the shower, he raised his head and looked into your eyes, pulling his hips back before slowly pushing in. He kept his eyes trained on yours as he continued to take you, gently and at a snail’s pace. Seungmin hoped that you could look past his ignorance and see just how sorry he was, he hoped you could feel everything that he felt in the way that held your stare and grinded into you. For a moment, he thought you did when your hand found his cheek again, luring him in for another kiss.

It soon became a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss, getting steamier the longer that Seungmin stayed buried inside you. The urge to find your high started to become too much, making you encourage him to move faster. So he used the handle on your hips to pull you back and slam you into him again. He was entranced by the sight of your two bodies connecting, drunk on the sound of your skins slapping. The closer he got to his high, the shallower his thrusts became.

“Fuck– just like that. Don’t stop!” You whined, pressing your chest tighter against him as you held on for dear life.

The quick thrusts pressed the top side of his cock into your clit. He planted another kiss to the corner of your mouth, keeping his cheek against yours as your orgasm took over your body. Shuddering and pulling him impossibly closer, your ankles pinned his hips into your cunt, completely sheathing him as you writhed. The deepness and pulsing of your slick walls around him was enough for Seungmin to follow, releasing deep into you with a groan.

The feeling of his cheek on yours was your favorite, an intimate thing without feeling sexual despite him still lodged inside. Your entire body felt amplified, every little touch like electricity. But that also meant that your mind was racing, initial plan being side railed because you actually got railed.

But you couldn’t let go of him. Instead of pushing him away and walking out of the shower, you rubbed your cheek against his, feeling so airy and weightless.

Seungmin lived for the feeling of your skin, soft and delicate. He began to grow flaccid, sure that his cum wouldn’t seep out because of how far in you he was. As gentle as he could, he lowered you to the ground. You kept your arms around his neck as he held up your body weight, letting you nuzzle into him. The two of you stayed like this for a while, in each other’s arms. 

The events of the night before replayed in your head, eventually breaking you from your euphoria to let go. You reached for the bottle of shampoo, leading him to stand under the water while you poured it into your hands and lathered it up. He leaned his head back, letting the warm water run down his face. You weren’t sure what to make of it, how could someone as beautiful as him be so cold to you one second, then worship the ground you walk on the next?

You were still stuck in your own head as he kneeled onto the ground, letting you shampoo his hair. As you massaged the product into his scalp, Seungmin closed his eyes and hummed.

“I’m sorry,” it came out as more of a whisper than he intended. He wanted to make a show of his apology, wanted to do anything it took to make you see the sorrow in his heart.

When you didn’t respond, hands still in his hair, he opened his eyes and continued, “I never meant to hurt you.” You couldn’t bring yourself to speak. The only way you acknowledged his words was with a slight nod of your head.

He was never one to apologize. Neither were you. The way he was literally on his knees before you, eyes boring into yours that wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of contact, it melted your heart to continue the way you did.

You rinsed the shampoo from his hair, let him wash your own then linger in another soapy few moments as you washed each other’s tired bodies. He followed you out of the shower and towel dried you first, then himself, watching you get dressed in the clothes you had neatly folded on the closed toilet lid. Wordlessly, you exited the bathroom, leaving him to bask in his steaming regrets.

When the thudding of your suitcase being plopped onto the bed echoed through the bedroom, Seungmin rushed out to see you pulling out an article of clothing and tossing it onto the mattress. It was his flannel, the cream and brown one that he wore around the house and on lazy days you spent at cafes together. The same one you stole from him because you loved the way it smelt just like him.

Still just a towel wrapped around his waist, Seungmin’s heart began to speed up as you zipped the suitcase closed. He watched as you lifted and placed it onto the ground, sitting on the bed to slip your socks on. “What are you doing?” He said, throat dry.

You didn’t look at him, stepping into your house slippers. “Gonna spend some time at a friend’s.”

He followed as you walked into the living room and placed your suitcase next to the door, “for how long?”

“I don’t know, Seung.” The nickname made his heart clench. Stepping into your shoes, you dropped your hands to your sides and looked at him with saddened eyes, “don’t call me.”

As you opened the door and rolled your suitcase into the hallway, a sudden realization hit him. “Wait!” He called out. As much as he felt like crying, begging you to stay and fight for you to see how much he loved you, he couldn’t. Wordlessly, unemotionally, you turned around to face him again, hand still on the doorknob to close. “Was that breakup sex?”

You searched his face, looking for any sign that he wanted you to deny his question. With a tired sigh and somber expression, you tilted your head at him, “yes.” You left without another word, closing the door on him and his emotions that he refused to show you.

There was a slight echo in the apartment, ringing in his ears as he whispered to no one but himself, “I love you.”

It had only been a month since you left, unable to shake the feeling that you’d messed up. It was a mistake he made, a mistake you made, a small hiccup that a cup of water couldn’t fix. But when water turns to wine, there isn't enough wine in the world that could drown you of your longing for him. You’d hoped to accomplish something in your time away from him, maybe pick up a new hobby or find out something new about yourself so that when you did find the courage to call him, you’d be bringing something to the relationship that could benefit the both of you.

But apparently, in the month you’d been apart, he found something new of his own. A new someone that ticked a hell of a lot more boxes than you ever did– according to Minho. Seungmin was bringing this new someone around to your date spots, the same bar you’d frequented together. Minho had mentioned that he’d still sit in his usual seat and let this new girl sit in yours. The bartender was the constant that you needed, a friend who didn’t seem to want to be more than a shoulder to lean on. He always was when you were with Seungmin, even more now that you’re not.

“It’s my fault. I can’t blame him,” you muttered, leaning back into Minho’s couch. It was a frequent thing now, going over to his place to hang out, talk like normal people. What would Seungmin say if he saw you now? He’d be pissed out of his mind, for sure. Probably call you a slut and say he’d known all along you wanted him just as badly as he clearly wanted you.

“You can. I know I do. What kind of asshole leaves their drunk girlfriend alone at a bar? And take her house keys?!” Minho walked back into the living room from the kitchen with two shots of tequila– Don Julio bottle almost completely finished– handing you one while he sat on the floor in front of you.

Immediately you brought it to your nose to smell, running a hand through your hair while criss crossing your legs. “I probably shouldn’t have drank so much. I feel like a borderlining alcoholic.”

“I think you’re self aware enough to show that you’re not an alcoholic,” he laughed, flicking his own hair out of his eyes. You’d never really noticed how clean he is– clean looking. He seemed as though he took care of himself and appreciated dressing up, something that most men lacked.

“You’re just saying that ‘cus you’d be out of a job if it weren’t for me.”

Minho smirked into his glass, not looking away from your eyes. “You’re right,” he smiled. The fitted black shirt he wore tightened as his muscles flexed, probably on purpose, but that didn’t mean he looked any less attractive. “Still a shitty tipper, though,” he mumbled.

“What was that? I don’t tip you well enough?” You stuck a foot out to nudge his bent knee jokingly. “Maybe you should step up your mixture game then, hm?” You downed the shot, not caring to appreciate the taste but rather hoping that it could make you light enough to not care about how Minho was now inching towards you.

He placed his full glass on the coffee table, sitting on his knees and planting his hands onto either side of your crossed legs, caging you in. “Or you could make it up to me.” He looked up at you, lightly running his tongue over his lips as his eyes trailed down to yours. You couldn’t help but feel intrigued, sort of flattered that he couldn’t stop staring. It was obvious that he’d stare when you were in a relationship, but never pushed that boundary out of respect. Now that you weren’t, you had to give him credit for going after what he wanted.

Setting your empty glass down as well, you leaned forward, just inches away from his face now. You could smell his cologne, clean and musky with a hint of booze. Dropping your head slightly, you asked, “how so?”

Minho reached a gentle hand up, fingertips tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and caressing your cheek. He looked so delectable on his knees before you. You suppose you had a thing for it, a weird thing that made you feel like you had all the power in the world.

“Can I kiss you?” Without falter, you pressed your lips into his. The kiss was soft, supple as the two of you got used to the feeling of one another. His lips were oh so pillowy, movements unrushed as he adjusted to your tempo. As easy as it felt kissing him, it also was so easy to let yourself get lost in it. Minho cupped your jaw tighter, pulling you deeper as he started to stand. Without breaking the kiss, he moved to lay your body lengthwise with the couch and hover over you. He didn’t run his tongue across your mouth until your fingers tangled in his hair and tugged. You granted him entrance, the alcohol taking its course through your body and doing just as you’d hoped. With all inhibitions lowered, you let one hand trail down the back of his shoulder, stopping at his lower back to pull his body down into you.

There was no particular fight for dominance, just your two tongues gliding and dancing around each other. He continued to let you set the pace, slotting his knee between your legs to lean back onto and grab your face with both hands. You, getting needier and needier by the second, grinded your hips into his limb, hoping to get some sort of friction. You moaned into the kiss and continued to run your hands all over his body. But the more you tried to remedy the aching in your core, the further Minho pulled his knee away. Eventually, he broke from the kiss all together while you whined.

“Need you,” you murmured, staring at his bitten lips.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Minho said, not angrily or anything that suggested he was upset. “I don’t want our first time to be because you want to get revenge on your ex.” He leaned down to peck your lips again, quickly getting up from the couch and grabbing your and his shot glasses, leaving you confused and horny.

“What?” You said softly to yourself, sitting up and shaking your head. After a moment of composing your breath, you followed Minho into the kitchen. He stood with his back against the counter, sipping a bottle of water. “I don’t get it. You kissed me.”

“No, I asked to kiss you. You kissed me.” He didn’t turn to you, nonchalantly carding through his now messy hair.

“I still don’t get it.” Truly, you didn’t. He was the one to invite you over tonight. He was the one to suggest drinking. He was the one that kept handing you the alcohol. He was the one that suggested kissing in the first place. And now he was the one that didn’t want to take it further. Your mind was running amuck while he refused to look at you.

“Like I said, I don’t want our first time to be becau–”

“I heard you. That’s what I don’t understand.”

Now he spun, crushing the empty bottle and tossing it carelessly in the sink while his eyes stayed focused on you. The look he gave you suddenly made you nervous, it was the most serious you’d ever seen him. The usual playful and flirty Minho you knew wasn’t the man standing in front of you. “No, of course you don’t. You only understand when guys treat you like an object.”

His words took you aback, flinching at the specific term he used, “object.” You knew your worth. You knew the attention you got, in fact you used it to your advantage. Isn’t that how you always got free drinks from Minho in the first place?

“What are you–”

“He treats you like shit. Always did. And I had to sit there and watch him do it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to watch the person you love be talked down to and left stranded in such a vulnerable position?” It took you a moment to process his words, whereas he seemed to catch himself the second he’d stopped talking. It stunned you, to say the least. Minho had dropped an atomic bomb on you, unsure of how to deal with the fallout.

“Minho–”

“Forget I said anything. Just… please go.” His request stung, your throat closed and tears pricked behind your eyes.

The thought of another person leaving you, it made you retort, “okay. But making me leave right now– drunk and sad and vulnerable… You’re no better than him. Especially not after that shit show of a confession.” Minho didn’t look away from you as you walked away, grabbing your bag and coat and slamming the door on the way out.

You’d barely made it onto the sidewalk before you let the tears fall. Except now, you weren’t sure what exactly you were crying over. Seungmin? Minho? The fact that everyone seems to think of you as no more than a magnet for men who wanted a good fuck? You’d gotten maybe five minutes down the street before your legs went numb, brain overriding with shame.

Everyone that you’d thought to be close to all thought the same thing, just another reckless girl using her body as a cry for help. Maybe Seungmin thought he could be your savior, Minho sure seemed to. At least your ex boyfriend was more upfront about his jealousy, whereas Minho used your “self objectification” against you. So you stumbled onto your butt, sitting on the cold concrete curb with just a thin jacket to shield you from the late night air.

The tears fell quietly, everything in you refusing to waste the energy. You don’t know what you were thinking when you pulled out your phone and typed in the number you knew by pure muscle memory. You sent multiple texts, teetering along the lines of just keyboard smashes and single full words that could only be the outcome of the alcohol. It just so happened that you’d also left all your common sense behind at Minho’s place, because the one coherent sentence that you sent was, “i mizs yo.”

And then, your phone rang. “Y/N? Are you drunk? It’s late,” his voice echoed in the speaker, groggy.

“Seung?” It came out more like a choke, throat burning as you gulped for air.

“Are you okay? Where are you?”

You looked around, unable to pinpoint your location. “I– I don’t know.”

“O– okay. Just stay put. I’ll find you.” He hung up before you could respond, shakily dropping your phone into your lap as you realized what you’d just done.

Seungmin threw his covers off, feet slipping into his house slippers and grabbing the first jacket he saw. Just as he was slinging it over his shoulders, the bed moved. “Seungmin? What’re you doing? Come back to bed,” a girl’s voice called out.

The woman he’d been seeing in your absence sat up and rubbed her eyes at the sudden light being turned on. He didn’t bother glancing at her or giving her the chance to adjust, “you need to leave. I won’t be gone long, but you need to be out of here by the time I get back.” Seungmin didn’t say another word to her as he grabbed his wallet, phone, and keys and left.

He pulled out the phone’s tracking app and found your contact, starting the directions to start his search. Upon starting the map, he sent you a quick text saying he’d be there in ten minutes and not to move a muscle. You– still drunk and still unable to think of anything but how tingly your face felt– didn’t see it.

You were trying your hardest to stay awake when footsteps padded loudly down the sidewalk. Seungmin had called your name, getting your attention for a second before you tried to stand and fell into the pavement again. 

“Woah, woah. Slow down. Are you hurt? Why are you out here alone?” He bombarded you with questions, but the last one struck a nerve. The alcohol gave you both confidence and mood swings.

“You’re asking me why I’m drunk and alone?” You rolled your eyes at him, lingering in silence for a split second. Seungmin gulped, but the nerves died down when you clumsily linked your arm through his and dragged him to start walking.

“Where are we going?” He asked.

“Home.”

“Home is the other way.”

“Home is where I say home is.”

He was right, his apartment– your previous one– was in the opposite direction. But you turned the corner and rounded the block just to get back on track. Seungmin didn’t protest, still too stunned at himself for even being in the same vicinity as you again.

Everything he’d built for himself, the peace of being alone, turning the apartment into his safe haven, the relationship with the girl that he’d just ruined by kicking her out in the middle of the night, all probably turned into dust because he’d given in to your drunk texts. And for what? Because he just couldn’t resist.

Extremely selfish. Problematic. Narcissistic. Self serving. Needy. Fragile. Soft. Bending but never breaking. Caring. Hopeful. Too good for the cruel world. Golden.

More words that flowed through Seungmin’s head as you held tightly onto his arm, letting him act as a crutch while you tried not to face plant into the floor. And as he led you into the apartment, you held him back in the doorway. You didn’t say a single word, just staring up at him with round and glazed over eyes. Oh, how badly he wanted to kiss you, but everything about the pleading look you had told him not to. Instead, he led you to the bedroom. He’d completely forgotten about the girl until he opened the door, relieved to see no one there. However, there was a note left on the bedside table, which you’d not seemed to notice as you stumbled towards the bed.

Seungmin let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, watching you drunkenly undress yourself down to your undergarments. However, you stopped just as you were about to climb under the covers, shirt and pants pooled at your feet. You leaned into the pillow and inhaled deeply. “She was here,” you slurred.

His brain raced, not sure what to say or how you’d react. So he just said, “yes.”

To his surprise, you shrugged, tossing the comforter over the pillow and trudging towards him. Amidst your clambering around the room, searching for a blanket, you muttered as you pushed past your ex boyfriend and looked him dead in the eye, “I made out with Minho.” Seungmin didn’t speak as you pushed past him, flabbergasted at your admittance.

He just watched as you laid yourself out on the couch in just your underwear and panties, spreading the blanket over you and fluffing the throw pillow. Even through the aching in his chest, Seungmin managed to push the coffee table away from the couch as you laid your head down. Before you could fully get comfortable, he’d ran back into the bedroom to grab two more blankets and his pillow to lay on the floor beside you. Your eyes threatened to shut, drowsiness finally catching up. Just as the darkness started to over take you, you found yourself spilling more of what had happened.

“I liked kissing him. He told me he loved me. Also said you were a shit boyfriend.” Seungmin sat still at your side, taking in all the information. “Said I was an object. Sai–” you hiccuped, “said really nice things to me, too. B– but I was just r– reeeeeaaaally h– horny. And mad at you. M— missed you a lot, Seung.”

Seungmin raised a hand to your hair, pushing it out of your face, “did you, now?”

You nodded, cupping your hand over his before he could pull away, nuzzling deeper into his palm. “Mhm. He’s not you. She isn’t me,” another hiccup, “I’m not me without you.”

“You won’t remember this in the morning,” he whispered, only half hoping his prediction was correct. Another part of him wished that you were saying this sober. But no amount of money or alcohol could have put your pride aside enough for you to, him either. He’d never admit how badly he wished you would have stayed and talked things through.

“Remind me.” Your head lulled back, sleep wanting to overtake your senses. But you fought it, wanting to get your thoughts out before sobriety caused you to cower away again. “She smells like s– shit. You c– could’ve let someone who smelled better sleep in m– my bed.”

There was no denying it, it is your bed. Just before you could fully succumb to the darkness, Seungmin placed a soft kiss to your forehead. “Just keeping it warm for you,” he tucked you tighter under the blanket and laid himself down, peering up to watch as you drifted off.

Seungmin didn’t sleep much, he was an earlier riser anyways so the two hours he’d gotten on the floor was enough. He’d made himself hot water for some pour-over coffee and a little extra for tea when you’d wake up. Then he watched the sunrise on the balcony and decided to make some breakfast as well. Now that you were here, whether you did it because you really missed him or not, he was going to treat you the way he should’ve done in the first place. It was like he was planning your first date all over again with how nervous he felt waiting for you to open your eyes. Every time you stirred, Seungmin thought how unprepared he was to speak to you.

Thankfully, you didn’t get up until around 10 a.m. By then, the hot water was cold and he had to reheat it in the kettle, warm up the eggs and pop the toast back in the toaster to serve it to you with a couple aspirin. You were wide awake, but laid staring at the ceiling for about five minutes before you worked up the courage to face your ex boyfriend again.

When you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and sat up, the blanket fell to reveal your mostly naked body. You scrambled to cover yourself, hearing soft laughter coming from over the back of the couch. Seungmin sat at the island counter, sipping on another cup of coffee. He didn’t want to say it, but he was amused by how shy you were despite having seen you naked hundreds of times before.

“I’m so sorry about last night,” you groggily mumbled, combing your hair down as best as you could. He just smiled and shook his head, picking up the plate of food and mug and bringing it over to you. As you took it, he seated himself on the floor again, blankets and pillows from last night still laid out. It smelled wonderful, a hangover and pounding headache having no effect on your sudden hunger. Bringing the piece of toast to your mouth, you noticed his sleeping place from last night. “Did you sleep on the floor?”

Seungmin nodded, “didn’t really wanna leave you alone again.” Your conversation with him from the night before came flooding back, blush creeping over your cheeks as you also remembered the events with Minho. He saw your change of expression, but chose to ignore it.

“I meant it,” you said, popping the aspirin in your mouth and swallowing it dry. He cocked his head in confusion. “She really did smell like shit. You could’ve at least gotten her a better perfume.” Seungmin was still walking on eggshells, unsure of how to react until you started laughing. He let himself joke with you, toppling over in happiness just because you were laughing with him again.

But as the laughter died down, Seungmin looked down into his lap and thought of how he’d approach the impending elephant in the room. “So you remember last night, then?” He said quietly.

“Every word.”

“Did you really mean it?”

“Drunk words are sober thoughts, aren’t they?” You placed the now empty plate of food onto the open couch cushion. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’ll always take care of you.” A fond smile warped across his face, still so helplessly in love with the idea of you. “I missed you, too.” The way he stared up at you made it so hard not to pull him in right then and there. But the longer your eyes lingered on his, the more the need to touch him, to feel him, drown in his scent grew stronger. To keep the reins on a little longer, you opted to just reach out and hold his chin under your finger, thumb extending and brushing over his plump lips. His eyelashes fanned his cheeks, breath stuttering slightly before letting out a deep sigh.

You pulled your hand back, breaking him from his few moments of peace. “Can I use the shower?” Seungmin found it hard to answer you, caught off guard so he just nodded rapidly. You patted his hair as you stood, enjoying the way he watched you like a lost puppy. As you approached the doorway, you stopped and turned to face him again. “Aren’t you coming?”

Seungmin had never moved so fast in his life.

But in contrast to how quickly he followed you into the same bathroom you’d spent your last few moments together in, you made sure he took his time to undress just for your viewing pleasure. You slowly lifted his shirt above his head, turning on the shower as he dropped his shorts next. Still just clad in your underwear and bra, you let him strip them both off of you and climb under the water together. Seungmin moved you under the water first, making sure to get all of your hair and body wet before pouring some shampoo into his palm. It was comfortable, the silence that surrounded the two of you. He rubbed the product around until it became foamy, telling you to hold up your hair so he could reach both the underside and the top. Your eyes closed as he massaged your scalp, so gently that you hummed. How sweet you sounded, relaxed under his touch.

When he was done, Seungmin removed the shower head and held it closer to your head, rinsing away any leftover residue. His fingers rubbed tighter into your skin, making you lean harder into his touch and hum even louder. He smiled, but felt himself starting to raise a chub. The effect you had on him was unfair even though you had no idea of it at the moment.

Once your hair was rinsed, he toyed with the idea of lowering the shower head. He watched your face, still not paying any attention to anything other than the warmth of the water. So he crept lower and focused the jet streams over the tops of your breasts, smiling to himself when your nipples started to perk up. Seungmin kept going, holding the water closer to your left nipple and twisting the shower head to increase the pressure. It spurted out larger streams of water, directly hitting your sensitive skin. Your head fell back, biting your lip lightly at the stimulation. He gave the same attention to your other breast before lowering ever further.

Your mind was starting to become hazy and overrun at the same time, unsure of what to do as he guided your back against the shower wall again. He hiked your leg up the same way, only this time the shower head was still in his hand and just barely missing your bundle of nerves. His head tipped back, taunting you as he opened his mouth to speak. “What do you want, pup?”

A whimper fell from your lips, searching for his hand to guide the jet stream to where you wanted it. But he resisted, “use your words.”

“Make me cum,” you opened your eyes and pleaded, “please.”

“You always ask so nicely in the mornings.” With your leg draped over the crook of his elbow, Seungmin pressed the water into your clit. Your nails clawed at his biceps and shoulders, head hitting the wall as you struggled to keep your eyes locked on him. The water was significantly stronger than when he used it on your breasts, but just barely hitting your core to slowly build up your high.

Your hips bucked up searching for the water every time he moved it, pulling the stream away just to watch you chase it. Seungmin lived to tease you, loving the way your body reacted when you didn’t get what you wanted. God knows you did in every other aspect of your relationship. You versus the shower head was no different.

The knot in your stomach was building quickly, not entirely used to the sensation the hard pressure of the water gave you. But Seungmin was unrelenting, constantly pulling back so that as soon as you got further worked up you’d lose it almost instantly. “No more teasing, please,” you begged and gripped onto his hand that held the water source.

“Beg more, pup. How badly do you want to cum?” His hand slid down to your ass, pulling you forward by the flesh.

“So fucking bad. Need you, Seung,”

“Did you say that to him also?” You were taken aback by the question, knowing exactly what he was talking about. You also knew that lying to him would only bite you in the ass later.

So you answered honestly, “yeah. But you had another girl in my bed.”

He pressed the stream into your clit roughly, holding it steady and causing the one leg you balanced on to shake. Your nails raked across any bit of skin it came across and left red marks in their stride.

Seungmin watched you writhe and attempt to catch your release. “You left me.” He started to pull away when you caught his hand, forcing him to stay put.

“You left me, too,” you grit through your teeth, pushing the water harder into you and holding onto him for dear life. Hunger took over your body, jerking into the stream as he watched with a devious grin on his face.

He was angry, rightfully so. You’d taken so much from him over the course of your relationship, walking out of him after that night was just icing on the cake to him. Seungmin hated that he wanted to wait for you, which only made him want to leash the next girl that showed him any interest out of hope that it’d erase you from his mind. But it only made him feel worse. He looked for you in her, looked for glimpses of what he used to have.

Even so, Seungmin wanted nothing more than to please you.

He could’ve overpowered you easily, but let you continue to work yourself closer and closer to your high everytime you guided the faucet in his hand along your pussy, clenching around nothing. He loved seeing the look on your face as you came, contorted and lost in bliss. So as the knot in your gut started to break he ordered you to keep your eyes open, stay looking at him as you came. Doing as he said, you forced yourself to lock onto his smug smirk, the way he stared down at you so condescendingly. And the knot finally snapped, much stronger than you’d expected and made you screw your eyes shut. The one thing you did manage to do was call out his name.

The handle on your ass held you steady as your body shook, eventually hanging the shower head back up, turning it off, and letting you drop your weight into him. His hand stroked your hair back as you breathed into his chest, leg still propped up on his arm. You were only given a brief moment of rest before you were being lifted by your other leg and carried out of the shower. Seungmin walked you out of the bathroom and plopped you down still soaking wet.

“Seung, the bed!” You exclaimed, trying to sit up so your hair didn’t drench the sheets. He tugged you towards him by your ankles, sending you sliding along the mattress.

“You just take whatever you want, pup,” he forcefully pushed your legs up by the underside of your thighs, hooking them over his shoulders and bending over you. “Just don’t know when to give back, do you? Don’t you see I need you too?” He squinted a bit at you, biting the inside of his cheek.

His body warmth spread all around you, engulfing you until–

“I can still smell her.” You practically spit in his face, rubbing in his not-so-infidelity. Your legs closed, clamping your ankles around his head and tugging him in so your lips brushed his. “Like cheap, rotten perfume. Just how you like it, right Seung?”

How quickly you turned the gun back at him, barrel full and ready to be fired.

“Maybe you should run back to your bartender then. I’ll send you back to him full of cum.” He grabbed the base of his cock and aligned it with your entrance. Your pussy throbbed, needing his touch more than anything as arousal seeped out of you.

“If you don’t kiss me right now, I just might.” The threat pulled a growl-like moan from his chest, crashing his lips into you as he pushed the blunt head of his cock past your folds. Feeling him stretch you out had you moaning into his mouth to which he swallowed each and every one. He filled you with little to no resistance, burying himself to the hilt in an instant. Gently, he pulled out and slammed himself back into you, slowly making a statement. It was possessive, how badly he wanted to claim you and make sure everyone knew who’s name you had written across your heart– even though his words said otherwise.

Seungmin could’ve easily gone without muttering another word about the bartender for as long as he lived, but the part of him that wanted to wipe the man off the face of the earth was also the same part that wanted to see you crash and burn. He wanted you to need him so badly that he’d use go to any lengths to get you to see that.

His hips continued to pull slowly only to hammer you into the mattress, keeping this steady pace. Your hands searched for something– anything to hold on to, finding solace along his wrists that were pinned on either side of your head. For a second, Seungmin paused, debating on if he were to give in and take your hands in his. He wanted to, but was it too intimate too fast? How watery and begging your eyes looked up at him, he malfunctioned and leaned in to kiss you instead. Physical touch was always something you loved, especially in these high tension moments, but that was also something you only got when you deserved it. And Seungmin didn’t think you earned it quite yet.

As he left quick, constant kisses to your lips, just enjoying the feeling of your skin, he stayed buried inside and dropped your right leg from off his shoulder, moving to straddle it instead. He left you with one long and sensual kiss before pushing off you, leaving you shivering from the sudden rush of cold air. However his hands didn’t leave you for very long. Seungmin harshly grabbed the sides of your hips, pushing them hard into the mattress while he stayed put, dragging his cock along your walls again. When he let them go, the bed springs shoved you up again, filling you.

You whined as his pelvis rubbed languidly against your clit, still swollen and raw. A wicked smirk played along his lips, loving how easily you caved to his liking. He did it again, bruising grips on your hip bones made you almost melt into the bed until you were sprung back to life with his cock splitting you in two. Your moans echoed off the walls, morning sun filling the room and making your hazy vision of the man over you look that much more angelic. Tears brimmed your eyes from how badly you wanted to stay focused on him, but the way he kept emptying and stuffing you made your head fuzzy.

“Look at you, pup. Bet he couldn’t get you dumb and crying like this. You just loved being filled with cock, hm?” Seungmin shuffled and sat higher, lifting your hips off the bed and slamming you up into him, mewls filling the space.

You were almost completely incoherent, but the mention of the other man snapped you back to reality. “Wouldn't you like to know. You’ve gotten used to her faking her orgasms, haven’t you? Don’t remember what it’s like to really make a woman cum.” Your backtalk was something new for the both of you. Brattiness wasn’t typically in your nature, but it triggered something in him. He let your left leg drop from his shoulder to rest over his thigh, tightening his hands around you and letting the primitive need to fuck take over his senses.

Seungmin pounded into you at a bone crushing pace, skin slapping skin bouncing off the walls. “So selfish,” he grunted, “already made you cum once, now you’re trying to rile me up to fuck you harder. Could’ve just said please.” His head tipped back, eyes shutting. You warm walls wrapped around him, hearing you mumble his name over and over like a prayer, he didn’t need much else to tip over the edge.

But you kept running your mouth, finding his arms again and leaving crescent marks into his skin. “You didn’t make me cum, the shower did. Try harder, pup.” At that point, you were already so close to another orgasm, the top of his cock gliding along your clit every time he thrusted into you.

He dropped you back onto the bed, palms of his hands digging into you to keep you pinned in place as his pounding turned into shallow, quick hammers. The new form had you locking your hands around his arms tighter, crying out in pleasure as the scooting motion rocked your brain into the next morning. Your mouth dropped, forming an “O” shape. Seungmin mockingly laughed at your face, leaning over and gathering saliva under his tongue. Messily, he spit into your gaping mouth, following by leaning over and sliding his tongue across yours to spread the foreign liquid. Your lips closed around the muscle, attempting to hold onto whatever control you had left. But when you let go and he pulled away, the string of saliva that connected the two of you had your eyes crossing and rolling back.

“That’s right, cum all over my cock. Remember who fucks you like this, dumb and greedy. My dirty little pup.” His words were enough to send you head first into the tidal wave that was your orgasm, powerful and making your vision go white. Your nails scraped his wrists, drawing the smallest bit of blood as your body convulsed.

Your cunt clenched impossibly tight around him, keeping his cock lodged deep inside as your walls pulsed and fluttered erratically. Watching you shudder and moan, Seungmin was so close. When you finally came back to earth, he moved to settle between both legs again, wrapping them around his waist. His hands ran smoothly up your body, caressing your back and pulling you up slightly so you were chest to chest. You felt limp, unable to move now that your body was buzzing and light.

With your own shaky hands, you wrapped them around his neck, pulling him by the hair to press your cheek into his. You were about to relax into him when his hips gently pulled out again, making you clench in overstimulation. “Just a little more,” he cooed, keeping you as close to him as possible.

Through the buzz, you managed to dreamily whisper, “are you gonna breed me, Seung? Fill me with your pups, fuck me full of them?”

“Fuck–” He turned his head and gently bit your earlobe, groaning deeply as he sloppily chased his high.

“Do it. Make me yours. Stuff me like I know you want to.” A few more stuttering, deep thrusts and he stilled, moaning out, cock pulsating as he unloaded heavy and thick spurts of cum into you. You could feel the warm sperm coating the inside of your walls, humming while the two of you caught your breaths.

He didn’t let go of you, in fact, he held you tighter. But as the tension fell comfortably again, you began to come to terms of what had just occurred. “You better burn these sheets, Kim Seungmin,” you teased, brushing his hair back as he laid his head on your chest.

“As you wish,” he mumbled, leaving gentle, sleepy kisses along your skin.

It was silent, just listening to one another’s breathing and steadying heartbeats. Your mind still raced of all the things the two of you needed to talk about, but hoped that it would come in time and not ruin the sweet moment of peace. Everything was just so perfect, not a care in the world. Sleep threatened to overtake him this time, eyes fluttering gently as he nuzzled deeper into you. The delirium etched into the words he spoke, “only toxic women enjoy tequila.”

You laughed, kissing his wet hair and wrapping your legs snugger around him. “You love it.”

“Please don’t let me go again.” You almost didn’t catch his words, how quietly he said them.

Your heart wrenched, twisting and making you feel almost nauseous. Unwrapping your arms and pulling his face up to look at him, you pecked his lips. “That damned Don Julio,” you tickled his nose with yours softly, letting him lay back down with a heavy heart. “Made me a fool for you.”

-

A/N: phew... kinda forgot about this series for a good minute but finally part 6!!! maybe the idea got kinda lost in the plot,,, but the smut is what most people read for anyways lol.

Enjoy! Feed back is always appreciated :3

-momo < 3

#stray kids fanfic #Kim seungmin #Kim seungmin smut #Kim seungmin angst #kim seungmin x reader #Kim seungmin x y/n #Kim seungmin x you #stray kids smut #Kim seungmin fanfic #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #skz fanfic #skz smut #skz angst #skz scenarios #It Was Good Until It Wasn't #Spotify

[charlosvibesonly]

I couldn’t agree more!!

The Joe hate is so uncalled for. He was there for Taylor at her worst. Some of most romantic songs are about him. It’s wild to me to see some Swifties switch up that fast.

As a massive Swiftie and a big sports girl, I’m cringing at the over saturation of media coverage and some fans already planning their wedding. They went out to dinner twice and he was holding her hand…. and that’s supposed to mean they are getting married?! LOL WUT?! Why is the bar so low? Lmfao it’s hilarious, really.

I really wouldn’t be surprised if Taylor and Joe got back together after tour concludes and after dating guys so different than her usual type for fun.

Omg exactly!!!

it infuriated me how they just switched sides so fast. Cause these were the same people who were rooting for them till literally she went out for the kelce game

and honestly, I don’t see the spark between Taylor and kelce at all. You look at the way she looked at Joe, or even Tom Hiddleston as a matter of fact. but with travis, nothing

it’s just constant news telling me how much he loves her, how they are making out and stuff

and it feels immature on taylor’s part too. The whole squad thing, and renting her house to Sophie turner. It’s like she likes to create drama. these are the same things that had got her canceled once.

can’t see that happening again to her. Because will there be someone like Joe to hold her again, I doubt it

Also all the fans going how travis lets her be bejeweled! While Joe always kept her away from cameras. And it makes me cringe so much because Taylor herself said she chose to keep the relationship private, and it was so good.

because anything we heard about them was from Taylor herself. Or her songs

but these days I hear about Taylor from everyone except her

I think the fans need to mature too. I feel they live through her vicariously and are just happy to see their high school dream coming true.

#taylor swift #joe alwyn #travis kelce

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Hiii!!

I've been following the grumpy x sunshine fics (both two sides of the same coin and the twin flame) for a loooooong time on ao3 and I absolutely adore them so thank you so much for writing such amazing comfort fics✨🫶🤍

I wanted to ask if you'd be open to starting a similar series and like, just run with a concept/trope, for Steve x reader? (Maybe something along the lines of good girl, sad boy, big city, wrong choices (that ultimately get a happy ending hehehehehe)). Just thinking out loud

Hello, dear reader! 🫶

That's so sweet of you to say, I'm glad you've enjoyed the series. It's honestly become one of my favorite things that I've ever written. I'm really proud of it (especially with how expansive it's become lol).

So, normally, right after a big series, I'll usually do a little mini series, just to write while I plot out and plan something else.

But like, this gives me an idea.

A good girl, sad boy, big city, wrong choices, sort of idea.

We open in a bar. You and Steve are sitting in a bar, an open stool separating the two of you. He turns to you, playing it all back in his mind. You've grown up together. All of those core memories, the awkward moments, the fucking situations, circumstances, miscommunications. You know, all the things that childhood best friends share with each other.

He turns to you and says, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did we never end up together?"

And, suddenly, you're thinking about it too. You play it all back. Steve's off and on relationship with Peggy, that time Steve got into a fight with that dickhead guy you dated in college, when Steve broke your heart for the very first time, maybe you think about that time in high school when everyone called you a "slut!" because they found out you kissed Bucky and Steve. The kisses were years apart and were also just party game antics, but Steve got jealous and angry anyway. Each chapter just goes back and further back into their history. All because of that one simple question.

Did you mean something like that?

Because I would love to write something like that.

Thank you for the ask (and definitely stay tuned)! 💛

#anonymityisfunwriter #anonymityisfun #anon ask #anon answered #anon's 1k celebration #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x fem!reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers au

[alrightbuckaroo]

Hii ada 🥰 For nice ask week, tell me about your favorite Lone Star character, if you like!! I'm pretty sure I know who it is but just want to hear you talk about them 😏

Desi, my dear! How are you? I hope life is being kind to you <3

What if I pulled an absolute wild card and said something like Pearce LOL

No but I think you're right in the fact you already know who it is because lord knows I do not shut up about Carlos Tomás Reyes!

I don't know what it is about that man, but god there's much to explore and I want a map to all of it.

I want to know more about his sisters, I want to know if he's an uncle (I've already decided he is but whatevs), I want to know what happened to Kique the Koala, I want to know if he played JV soccer in high school or if he was a stage tech for theater.

Then there's of course just his normal disposition; it's so familiar in the sense that I know why it's stoic, but it's so alien in the sense I know there's more to it that we don't know yet.

I want to know about his relationship with religion, I want to know if there was a battle between that and his sexuality and what the aftershocks of that were. But alas, this is a 44 minute ensemble show that is also a procedural, so maybe we'll get all these answers by season 34 😭

Anyways, I just realized that I didn't say why he's my favorite character and barring everything above because I do love that there's so much to explore, I love that he's just as much a hopeless romantic as TK is.

How smitten he was when talking about TK in the early episodes of s1 to Michelle? Calling him a 10 with a smile he probably doesn't even know he's making? Making dinner in the middle of the night to a man who sees it as nothing more than a booty call? Tim Minear said we're gonna get this man some love on GOD

I don't know, I think he's just so interesting because we know he, in his own way, struggled with terms around his sexuality, but seeing that it doesn't stop him from having so so so so much love for TK, for another man, proves that they are, in fact, soulmates. He'd love him in every universe because he'll always have so much to give.

#alright you're getting a full on apology because this was literally an essay i've written fic shorter than this #but thank you so much for speaking on and on about my favorite guy who should quit his job #asked and answered

[moregraceful]

GIMME 2, 5, 6, 10!!!!!!!!!!!

omg. thank you for this i needed to calm down after that Niners win haha just kidding. I will never calm down I still have anxiety. if you never see me again it's bc I'm writing Brock Purdy gangbang under a burner. ok under a cut

Trade bait: You can make two trades for your team for anyone in the MLB or MiLB. What two players do you trade for to create a top tier romance with existing players on the team?

First of all Matt Chapman for nobody but I am sending Joey Bart to the shadow realm anyway. Chappy as you previously observed would have Casey Schmidt wrapped around his finger. I would also be watching Tyler Fitzgerald very carefully bc I think him and Casey would be peacocking severely for Chappy's attention, just two cornfed white boys/fringe players eating out of Chappy's hand. Also Wilmer Flores and Chappy have wine nights where they discuss their infielders and I think an old man situationship could flourish there. That was like three relationships sorry. But now I'm obsessed with Wilmer Flores having an old man relationship nooooo

Second of all, I am trading Austin Slater (sorry) for Kris Bryant. Why am I bringing back Kris Bryant? bc it would be funny. He did a whole ass interview in the Athletic that I have seared into my heart about wanting to be wanted by the Giants and his fuckbuddy Brandon Crawford went on camera being like I Need Him, and then Farhan did something stupid and we lost Kris Bryant forever. but in my heart the Rockies do something rash and Farhan loses his head and we get Kris Bryant back. Kris Bryant is soooo salty but like what is he going to do, at the end of the day he really enjoyed San Francisco! and then -- this is critical -- Mikey shoots his shot. In the Kris Bryant Giants Era, Mikey was on the periphery of my observations (I was very gay for Craw and Kris and did not really understand the intricacies) but I think now with Craw out of the way, Mikey can slide in there with his affable ways and charismatic leadership and boyfriend dick and Kris will fall head over heels.

Rule 5 romance: what rookies do you wish to see ascend the heights of AO3? And with whom?

I almost said Blake Sabol but then I looked him up and between the three Bay Area mutuals, he actually has five whole works which for baseball fandom in this day and age is kind of a lot lol. Anyway as always I feel we need more gay bar fic and I think Tristan Beck would clean up at a small town bear bar in the minors and I think ALL the stupid Baby Giants should accompany him. That's not really an answer but the Giants are kind of vibeless and I'm trying not to just answer "Casey/Blake" for every single question lmfao

Minor league blues: Which of your favorite fringe or minor league players are holding hands on the 9 hour bus ride to the next game? Are they doomed by the narrative or will they be franchise legends?

GODDDDD THE BABY BABY BABY BABY GIANTS HAD SUCH AN ICONIC PITCHER-CATCHER SITUATIONSHIP LAST YEAR. So Onil Perez was the starting catcher for most of the SJ Giants games and Dylan Cumming was a pitcher the Giants signed to a minor league contract who got yeeted down to the San Jose extremely quickly but also played a bunch of games and had one of the better ERAs of all the pitchers on the team. (Also....somehow ended up in a Barracuda promo video lmfao.) I saw Dylan pitch a handful of games, all of which Onil caught and towards the end of the season when tensions were a lil high due to impending playoffs, I watched Dylan blow an inning in front of Onil. him and Onil proceeded to have the most INTENSE conversation next to the dugout, like heads bent together, arms on each other, I was like what the HELL is happening over there. and then. of course. Dylan did better for the rest of the game. CRAZY MAKING. (Giants still lost but that's not important.) Onil is rated pretty highly as a Giants prospect I think and while I try not to get too attached to SJG guys, I was so into how calm he was during games so that like...moment of emotional intensity between him and Dylan was so 👀🧐🫡 I think they probably fell asleep on each other during bus rides and Onil woke up with Dylan's hair in his mouth and fell in love.

Pregame chess: Who is compelled by the raw sexual energy that the dweebiest player on your team exudes when he gloats over winning clubhouse card games?

Allowing myself Casey/Blake, as a treat,,,,, Casey Schmidt is an enormous dweeb with a huge heart and I think the first time he wins some esoteric Venezuelan card game that Thairo Estrada taught the team but which took Casey a solid two months to get the hang of, he's SO happy but in a way that creates problems. like, his swagger is off the charts and it's SO undeserved, but he's so confident all game and he plays so well and Blake is like god...he's so stupid hot. I can't NOT kiss him in the shower room. (Blake is also a dweeb.)

Thank you for asking!!!!

#pindergarten #cage replies #rpf for ts #looking at the giants roster is giving me so much hope but also like who are all of you. who is driving this. farhan for the love of GOD #but on the bright side. i will never have to hear about that one former dodger ever again in my life lol

[alwayscobrakai]

Tell me about your aus

okay i sat here for like 10 minutes trying to think of which au to talk abt and couldnt decide so im just going to write little summaries of all my favs and i can elaborate if requested

all of these were made with my wife <3

dream au: its 2009. johnny and daniel start having weird dreams about each other. the dreams seem to have continuity?? and are all extremely vivid and clear. johnny is the first to break and actually find daniel in real life to ask "hey am i insane or are these things real???". daniel has a minor breakdown but eventually admits they are and a relationship builds from there. theres also the same thing happening to 2019 era daniel and johnny and they are a Lot less normal abt it

tkk3 rewrite: i mentioned this one recently. the set up is all the same up until the point of the silver reveal. after rescuing daniel, miyagi still refuses to train him for his own reasons. before she leaves, jessica mentions she met a 'karate guy' at a nearby grocery store and maybe daniel could go train with him? daniel is at his wits end and goes to check it out only to find its none other than johnny lawrence <3. johnny finds the situation hilarious at first and agrees but once he finds out how fucked the situation is hes like. okay im like. actually going to help you what the fuck is happening

classic 'the one where theyre dating in tkk1' au: self explanatory. after the beach fight johnny approaches daniel and is like hey sorry abt that. ali makes me crazy lol. wanna get ice cream? and daniels like wtf is wrong with you. but yes ok. johnny struggles with having to outwardly pick on daniel around his friends but being a complete sap with him whenever theyre alone. their friends slowly clue on and each have mixed opinions on it.

danny and marty au: mid 90s. daniel is at a bar for a batchelorette party and starts getting hit on by a dude named marty. he is at first not interested but comes around after marty offers a karate spar in the alley outside. they end up going home together. the next morning while marty is making coffee, daniel is snooping and comes across a cobra kai gi and freaks out. 'marty' is actually dutch <3 who assumed daniel was a different guy after he failed to recognise him and thought 'well its not every day you get to screw a lookalike of the dude you were obsessed with in high school'. after daniel calms down they awkwardly exchange numbers with a vague promise to catch up later. dutch immediately drunk calls him that night to call him sexy and the au goes from there

i jokingly named this one harem au and it stuck: after a sleepover and messed up game of 'would you rather' the cobra boys all realise their obsession with daniel might not be exactly 'platonic' and all start trying to seduce him in their own ways. daniel very quickly picks up on this and thinks hey fuck it why not? ali thinks daniel is insane. johnny is trans in this one just for fun <3

#type first #my aus #sorry for how long this is i was struggling to summarise them #dream au is especially massive and has all sorts of wild shit happening #there is also my familiars au but that one doesnt rlly have as much changed plot #they just all have little animal guys #thank you for asking i love all these aus so dearly

[smallcrystals]

pls pls pls i need some flashspruce headcanons, idc what they're abt i just NEED

i've been on the verge of insanity lately

this is so real and honestly your insanity brought back mine so thank you

i feel like part of the reason i've kinda fell off my eqg soapbox is bc i felt like i've said all i've ever wanted to say abt them, but i don't think i have actually! if you do not mind me repeating myself occasionally:

between flashspruce, flash has the most experience with boys despite having realised his attraction to them later than timber did. this is mainly because flash is surrounded by more boys because high school, the maths is pretty simple

timber, on the other hand, had a more complicated relationship with sexuality because his gender was doing all sorts of funny things. he had an idea that he was pan (of course, he didn't have the words for it yet) but he was never sure if he was romantically interested in boys or just admired them so obsessively he wanted to be one. as timber grew into his teen years he realised it was both lol

timber hides this with his confidence but flash can see right through it because he's dealt with boys like this before when they've hit on him previously (though they're never quite as cute as timber is. pretty privilege i tell ya)

when they're friends, they have this specific dynamic that idk how to explain (the closest i can think of is hyung-dongsaeng in korean culture), but essentially it's this feeling of wanting to dote on your friends that are younger than you (even if it's just by months). that's how flash treats timber in the early stages – flash finds out he's older than timber by a few months and now he cannot think outside of timber = baby

timber loves the mane 7 but if flash is tagging along with their hangouts (which is usually the case, timber only rarely hangs out with them as a group by himself), he's very clingy and has his arm hooked with flash's. flash finds it adorable, especially when timber refuses to let go in public

i see 2 ways in which they can go from friends to lovers; either it's very natural and it doesn't feel like anything's changed, OR they've reached a breaking point where they're just seconds away from devouring each other. sunset says that sometimes flash looks at timber like he will leave bite marks on the guy if he doesn't stop whatever he's doing (existing). both are good i'd say

timber has always filmed little candids of flash when they start being friends, mainly on his phone but whenever they're out by themselves, he brings his fancy camera out. flash doesn't know this, mainly because timber doesn't show him out of embarrassment, but you can really tell the person who filmed the videos loves their muse

flash sends over lyric docs whenever he feels like it and usually these are without any context, literally no "hello" or "how are you", just [text].doc and timber's like ???. but then timber reads them and is like sad™. timber's never admitted to this, and it'll take him a while to do so, but there have been certain lines in flash's lyrics that had him crying. how many chances do you get in life where your muse considers you their muse too?

flash sometimes buys timber books that he's read just so timber can also read them and then freak out the same way he did. most of the time timber's reaction is "why would you make me read this i am now clinically insane" which was exactly flash's goal

i would try to debate who would be the pathetic lover between flashspruce but there is no answer to that bc they are both equally pathetic in their own ways sorry loverboys

flash actively joins timber when he goes to get more wood just so he can see timber in a tanktop and an axe but flash will deny this every step of the way

timber can't say anything though bc man does this as well during the summer months when the flash drive are performing at bars; flash is Not about to wear leather in this weather and timber's gonna enjoy every moment of it

and yeah flash teaches timber the guitar bc what is he if not a lover of music and queer rockstars (he thinks timber could make a really cool queer rockstar if not for the fact he would steal a million of girls' hearts in one second and a smile)

these two make me want to chew a wall. dead serious

(i see your ask about flash, i will get to that soon i promise 🫡)

#flash sentry #timber spruce #flashspruce #equestria girls #timberflash

[romaine2424]

Weekly Blog July 21, 2023

Well, I didn't mean to take this long to get back to my blog, but priorities. LOL. The priority was my WIP fic. I've yet to find a beta, but what I did find was Grammarly Pro. My daughter has a subscription. She uses it for final papers for school. I'm sorry, but I'm old and didn't know this AI app existed. So I ran each of my 20 chapters (110K) through the app, and wow, did I learn a lot. As I said in previous posts, what I needed help with was SPAG, sentence structure and word usage. My alpha and I cover the plot continuity and canon issues. It's canon divergent after HBP, so sometimes things slip in that happened in HPDH. *oops* I also ran my the @hd-fan-fair fic through it.

The app does have its problems with what it suggests sometimes. But it's easy enough to work around those. As it doesn't understand the content, it continuously dings me for using pronouns, especially He. And no, I don't want every time I use the word order to be Order or cloak to be Cloak. But thank you for showing me that I use the words just, that, and over a ridiculous amount of times. And thank you for fixing all the double spacing between sentences in the chapters I wrote in 2007 with a simple push of a button. And thank you for reminding me that when someone is going to sit that I don't need to specify that they are going to sit down, or rose up from the chair, or walked over to the exit door.

So, that's what I've been doing, along with a bit of reading. I have two recs! One Drarry and the other Narcissa with a side of Drarry. Both fics are new!

What I've been reading:

The first fic comes from @hd-wireless, which is currently posting. About This Place (10K) by Anon. Here's the Summary:

Harry left everything, including Draco. Harry’s returned to everything, including Draco. Things are never quite so simple, though perhaps they could be. Based on ‘You and I’ by Lady Gaga for Wireless 2023.

This fic is dripping with atmosphere. The majority of the story takes place in a small burlesque bar called Ronnie's. Well, the author is much better than me in describing it:

Within the tiny burlesque bar (or, not-quite-burlesque bar, as Ronnie would say) are the queers that are a shade too queer for the regular gay clubs. Trans butches are ogled by confused twinks, a pretty femme in the middle of the room teases salivating straight women who came here just for fun, and a tall drag queen with an auburn wig flowing down to her waist is on the main stage, singing with a sea of androgynous dancers behind her, winking at her pianist as she launches into a song they most definitely did not rehearse beforehand. The pianist looks annoyed, but really, he’s good enough that he can handle anything Ronnie throws at him. His long blond hair is half up in a bun, and despite his winged eyeliner and red lips and high heels, he’s probably the most unassuming person in here. He’s very pretty, but also concentrated in a way that doesn’t invite people in; you would feel intrusive saying hello, or asking for his number. He’s wearing all black: high waisted jeans, a well-fitted turtleneck—his uniform.

The story, as the summary stated, is about Harry returning to London after travelling for a few years. He and Draco had been in a relationship before he left, and now Harry wants him back. Love this trope. Draco was hurt that Harry left, really hurt. And now, when Harry walks into Ronnie's, he knows he'll succumb to Harry's wants, but there will be resistance. Working through the turmoil of misunderstandings and being scared to take a second chance can sometimes be frustrating to read with this trope. BUT NOT HERE. The author's writing is so beautiful and poignant you become fully immersed. Harry's revelation about his time away, why he went away, and why he's back is just guh! Draco doesn't stand a chance. LOL. Still laughing about the couch!

About This Place by Anon on AO3

The second fic is Night Dragon, Dawn Bird (20K) by Xenjyn (AO3). As the author says in her notes, this is the story that gives Narcissa the agency she deserves. And it is pure poetry. The Summary is just two lines:

"Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?" "Yes."

It begins with the time period right after the war but before the trials. The location is Malfoy Manor, where Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco are living in the midst of the destruction left by Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Narcissa is lying in bed as Lucius sleeps soundly next to her, and she's contemplating all that came before that led the family to this point in time. Draco is traumatized and coming into his own revelations.

Draco is alive and hidden in one of the midnight dark parlors, knees drawn to his chest, sitting in a chair which used to swallow him when he was young. Now he’s too tall for it, his long legs curled to his chest and his hands clutched tight around them, his face hidden in his knees. He’s sleeping, or weeping. Shoulders rising and falling. Or trembling.

...

Perhaps he sleeps less than her, now. The blanket she conjures flutters around his shoulders, weighted, warmed with a charm. It barely touches him but his eyes open, a frightened start, and then her hand is in his hair, thicker than she remembers it, curling at his temples, stroking over his scalp. “It’s only me, my darling. Sleep.” “Mum,” His voice is so small, so rasping, like he were ill, in the deepest clutch of a fever. His hand finds her wrist, squeezing tight. “ Mum . ”

There is a dreaminess to this story. We're immersed in Narcissa's thoughts, and they flit from the past to the present and conjecture of what's to come. And there is a background voice in her thoughts: Bellatrix. She's always there pushing Narcissa with her comments. It's quite creepy but oh-so-delicious.

Bellatrix spins, pulses at her, a star-shine fading in and out, closer and distant, like the voice that used to sneak into her room, like the whisper of a laugh when they were girls, like the hiss of madness outside Severus’s door. Cissy, Cissy, Cissy. She calls, I can ’t sleep, Cissy. I’m bored, Cissy. Play with me, Cissy.

There are four relationships (Narcissa/Lucius, Narcissa & Draco, Narcissa & Harry, Harry/Draco) that we are privy to, and the most surprising is the one between Harry and Narcissa. That forest scene was a nexus point for both. They're connected. But the most heartbreaking is between Lucius and Narcissa. We're treated to their past and how they got together. How much they were in love, but then, Lucius fucked up. I won't give it away, but it was one of the most insightful scenes I've read in dealing with their marriage. There is a side of Drarry in the story, and it's like a soothing balm with everything else that is going on.

I feel like I'm failing to say how good this story is in how beautiful it is to experience Narcissa and her path to her agency. Never forget she is a Black witch. Bellatrix says it best. Cissy, not a threat?

Night Dragon, Dawn Bird by Xenjyn on AO3

I hope you get a chance to read both these fics and please give them comments of love.

I would love to know if you use or have used Grammarly and what you thought of it.

That's all for now,

Rom

#romaine2424 daily blog #july 2023 #drarry fic recs #Narcissa is a BAMF #grammarly

[caracoloco]

i was gonna do like a long thing with all of my thoughts and favorite interactions of labru but im back in school and also doing social service and barely have any time for myself so this is not getting finished lol. anyways here are some my labru thoughts which honestly is not anything that anyone hasnt said already lol

shit my mom just showed me a video of boneless wings im sooo hungry.

there's something about narrative foils that just makes my head explode sometimes bc it's like two characters whose fundamental flaws perfectly complement each other and therefore you can see how they both develop after interacting with each other and imo that very easily leads into them developing deep respect and affection (at least in the labru case, bc in other cases it can lead to vicious hatred which is also great for me).

so what i mean by this is that kabru is the opposite of laios in several aspects:

-laios is obsessed with monsters/ hates humans despite what he may think, on the contrary kabru is obsessed with people/ hates monsters. and the noticable thing is that they both have the same intensity but due to kabru's charisma it is not seen as repulsive unlike with laios. that leads to the next point.

-kabru has like op levels of charisma and the skills to manipulate people to always get what he wants, on the contrary laios does not understand others and constantly makes mistakes bc he assumes goodwill out of others or is just unable to read the room which in turn makes him public enemy #1.

-another thing which is not as pointed imo is that kabru has as much skill in human combat as laios has with monsters. in the story this is the very reason why kabru finds it necessary (despite his annoyance) to support him as he realizes he is the most capable of defeating the mad sorcerer. then on the sidelines kabru did a lot of work in preventing him from getting killed by other people who saw him as insane which allowed him to get that far in the first place.

-laios is a very honest person, being a terrible liar and always saying what he thinks even if it makes the situation worse (like when he was trying to comfort senshi in the griffin chapter). again, opposite to that kabru constantly lies and carefully chooses his words to best fit the situation (and the person he is talking to) even if it is not a high-stakes situation. the one person who i'd say he is the most honest to is rin but even then i don't think he is the most vulnerable even with her.

-other not as relevant point which i noticed is that laios is actually really tidy compared to kabru. when you look at their rooms in the adventurer's bible laios has a lot more organization than kabru whose room looks like my room on bad week. that combined with the fact that the bar owner cleans the room for him makes me think that kabru is a lot less self sufficient than he appears, unlike laios that was living pretty alright since the return of his sister.

So i think those are their main parallels that stem from their central character trait of being obsessed with humans/monsters. which is interesting bc when kabru was first introduced he looked like the idealized version of a party leader with all of the traits laios lacked, but as the manga develops you realize that they really are two sides of the same coin and their interests are what makes them grow into very different people. (well their interests and their traumas/upbringing)

moving on to the story. the most interesting part in my opinion is the way that kabru's relationship and feelings towards laios go from interest to hatred to respect to friendship.

<not finished>

#whatever lol it just wasn't gonna happen #but if any of my mutuals want to talk labru in dms I'm down #im also just not as into dunmeshi as i was like a year ago which is kinda sad :( #still love it very much. my mind is just focused on other things right now #like what the hell am i gonna do with my life once i graduate a year from now

[runthepockets]

Tbh I'm really tired of battle of the sexes wars. Like, if it isn't cis men and women arguing over who has it harder, it's trans men and women doing the same shit. It's article after article of (rightfully) angry women talking about swearing off dating and sex forever due to dudes being so perverted and invasive, and the worst men you've ever met having their voices amplified in retaliation, both further alienating the women whose approval and affection we so desperately crave and making it harder for other men to talk about legitimate anxieties and struggles we have navigating the world. I hate that articles about high suicide rates and high rates of isolation and depression in men has brought out women who say things like "oh wah wah men's feewings I cannot BELIEVE I have to take RESPONSIBILITY for this CRAP again men are lonely cus they SUCK MEN'S FAILURES are the reason they're miserable", even when none of the studies are implicitly or explicitly blaming women for this problem (and even if they were, there's gotta be a way to deescelate / point out the entitlement of these accusations without victim blaming).

I hate that I end up dating and befriending a lot of feminist women who routinely encourage men to be vulnerable, and then my vulnerability immediately triggers an argument or a shitty dissmissive attitude or me being accused of manipulation, and I hate that those same women having (understandable) biases against men have gotten me up in arms reacting in pretty similar ways. I hate the way men talk about women's bodies when women aren't around. I hate the way women talk about male sexuality when there are no men around. It all feels awful. And I hate that voicing this to queer friends hasn't really gotten me anything but "lol thank god I'm not straight" or something of that nature. I hate how straight relationships have the potential to be just as beautiful and vindicating and empowering as any other human relationship but we're all barred by socioeconomic factors and poor / vastly differing communication skills.

This is why I got so into Men's Liberation two years ago. It gives me a space to vent my feelings and greivances as a straight guy without feeling like a total jerkoff while also being sympathetic to feminist ideals and views. It's very grounding. I can practice run and analyze my greivances after properly grieving in a safe and educated space, then I can approach the women in my life without the cotton between my ears and my defenses lowered instead of immediately shutting down at the first sign of discomfort. It's why I'm so loud about a lot of these issues; I believe everything is connected, and if men and women's lives and experiences and socioeconomic statuses are so deeply intertwined with each other under cishet capitalist white supremacist patriarchy, they need to be intertwined in the process of abolishing it, too. But I can't do that with my trauma and anger dictating my politics, nor can the women that find themselves in my sphere. It's also part of why I stopped hanging out in woman dominated spheres as often; while I'm not going to deny women their right to vent, the anti-male sentiment was debilitating, and I deserve a life free of any more neurosis around my manhood than I already may have (there was also nothing there for me anymore anyway, being a straight dude and all).

I think this is another thing I like about being straight; as nice as it I'm sure it is to never have to worry about these seemingly trivial aspects of "straight culture", and as much as I support gay people having spaces to feel at home in their own skin and to vent about their oppressors, it also seems like it sometimes blinds you to the fact that the "opposite gender" isn't really going anywhere (or that the opposite gender even exists, generally) and gay seperatism isn't a realistic or helpful solution, even for other gay and trans people.

#men's liberation #chronicles

[deanwinchesterpregnant]

happy wincest wednesday!! do you have a few stanford era headcanons about sam and/or dean?

Happy wincest wednesday!! Ooooh good one. I’ve got a couple, not necessarily wincest related but I’ll throw a couple of those in too.

Sam:

- Gets really into late 90s/early 00s alt. I think this probably starts in high school (listen, Nine Inch Nails’ The Fragile coming out when he’s 16 would change him), but once he’s away from his brother and fathers’ music taste he really develops his own. And because we know he keeps to himself a lot in college, afraid to really let people get to know him, I can sooo see him alone in his dorm with the portable CD player he saved up to buy with work-study money just listening to Hole and Nirvana and RHCP and Smashing Pumpkins and Soundgarden and stuff lol

- I know a lot of people HC that Sam experiments with guys during his time at college but I don’t know that he does…even in California, 2001-2005 was a pretty rough time to be out, and I honestly mostly picture him jerking off to gay porn more than I do him having a quasi-steady sex life with guys. I tend to also see Sam as having a preference toward women. However I DO think he got in at least one gay sex experience at a bar one night after amicably beating the guy in darts, and when he got home he spent all night wondering if Dean’s also had experiences with guys (he has) and he never stops to think about the fact that he is like, really intensely thinking about his brother’s sex life lol

- Jess is the only one of his friends (and later girlfriend, obv) he tells about Dean. He lets the rest of his friends think he’s an only child, military brat, bad relationship with his father. Brady of course knows he’s got a brother and sometimes tries to wheedle this out of Sam, who’s pretty tight-lipped about his family. Some of his acquaintances think he’s a cult escapee. Jess asks why Sam doesn’t talk to Dean anymore and he says “I just can’t” and never elaborates

Dean:

- We know Dean and John go to check on Sam at Stanford sometimes, but one night after John goes back to the motel Dean continues to tail Sam. Even gets kind of angry that Sam hasn’t picked up on Dean following him – his reflexes have gotten bad. Really seriously considers revealing himself, and even follows Sam all the way to a bar or party. Then he sees Sam meet up with Jess, give her a kiss, have a real smile on his face, and he turns and walks away. He’s really angry, like, way more angry than he has a right to be, doesn’t think about why, goes to a dive bar and picks up a guy, specifically, to fuck

- Whereas sexual stuff with John used to be more of a rarity, it becomes really regular once Sam is gone. I don’t read this as an equal relationship; I think Dean thinks he has some sort of power and has consented to it, but really he’s not in a position to say no. Whether John meant to or not, he groomed Dean, and once Sam is gone there’s no reason to hide

- Similar to the Jess & Sam situation, Cassie is the only person Dean tells about Sam. Not that he makes a habit of bringing up his family to people he sleeps with at all – not that he makes a habit of having relationships in general – but stuff comes up in pillow talk sometimes. “Just me and my dad,” he’ll always say. He doesn’t want to share Sam with these people, they don’t mean anything anyway. But Cassie means something, so it doesn’t feel so bad to share Sam with her. It doesn’t work out, and he stops saying anything about his family to anyone. Always just claims to be on his own; lost his family young

#wincest wednesday #johndean for blacklist