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captaindboss · 5 years
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captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses
I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.
Montreal Canadians
Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)
Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)
Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)
Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”
“Everyone who has escaped”
“their ‘attitude problem’“
Boston Bruins
Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)
Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)
David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)
Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”
“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]
“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]
Bonus, cause I’m weak:
“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]
“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]
Bl*ckh*wks
Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 
Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)
If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)
hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)
*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.
^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.
Write-ins
“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”
“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 
“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”
New York Rangers
Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)
Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)
Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)
Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.
Write-ins
“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]
“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]
“this is a hot team too bad they suck”
Toronto Maple Leafs
Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.
Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]
William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)
Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)
Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)
*= Freddie Andersen. 
Write-ins
“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]
“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]
“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]
Bonus, again, weak:
"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]
“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]
Detroit Red Wings
I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.
Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)
Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)
Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)
Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)
*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)
Write-Ins
“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 
“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]
“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]
Bonus
“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]
“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]
Los Angeles Kings
The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)
Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)
Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)
Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]
“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]
“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]
Philadelphia Flyers
Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)
Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes
Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes
Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)
*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.
Write-ins
“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”
“andrea helfrich” [ur right]
“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”
Bonus
“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]
“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]
Pittsburgh Penguins :(
Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)
Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)
Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)
Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes
*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.
Write-ins
“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]
“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]
“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]
St. Louis Blues
Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)
Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)
Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)
Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]
“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]
“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]
Buffalo Sabres
Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)
Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)
Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)
Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)
*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]
Write-ins
“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]
“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]
“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]
Bonus:
“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]
“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]
Vancouver Canucks
Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)
Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)
Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)
Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)
*=Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]
“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]
“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]
Bonus
“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]
“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]
New York Islanders
Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)
Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)
Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)
Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)
*=Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]
“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]
“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”
Calgary Flames
Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)
Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)
Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)
Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)
*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.
Write-ins
“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]
“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]
“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]
Washington Capitals
Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)
Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)
Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)
Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)
*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.
Write-ins
“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]
“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]
“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]
Colorado Avalanche
Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)
Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)
Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)
Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)
*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.
Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.
“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]
“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]
Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:
“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”
“erik "big horny" johnson”
“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”
“What that mouth do EJ?”
New Jersey Devils
Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)
Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)
Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)
Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)
*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).
Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.
“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]
“Gucciiiiiii”
“DSL GUCCI”
“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”
“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”
“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”
“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”
Dallas Stars
DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!
Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)
Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)
Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)
Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)
*= Jamie Benn.
Write-ins
“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]
“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”
“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]
Edmonton Oilers
Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)
Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)
Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)
Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)
*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.
Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”
“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]
“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]
“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]
Drai Quotes
“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]
“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”
“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]
“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]
Winnipeg Jets
Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.
Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)
Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)
Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)
Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)
*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.
Write-ins
“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”
“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]
“I don't know who windy pegg is”
“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]
“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”
“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”
“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”
“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”
“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]
“Goatboi”
“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”
“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]
“laine looks like a goat”
“Laine’s Beard”
“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]
Arizona Coyotes
Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)
Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)
Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)
Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)
*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.
Write-ins
“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]
“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”
“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 
Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.
Carolina Hurricanes
Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)
Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)
Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)
Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)
*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]
Write-ins
“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]
“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]
“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]
San Jose Sharks
Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)
Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)
Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)
Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]
“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]
“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]
Ottawa Senators (lol)
Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)
The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)
Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)
Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)
*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)
Write-ins
“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]
“.... we're a team“ [i-]
“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”
Bonus:
“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]
“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”
Tampa Bay Lightning
Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)
Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)
Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)
Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)
*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....
 Write-ins
“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]
“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]
“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]
Florida Panthers
 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)
Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)
Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)
Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]
“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]
“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]
Anaheim Ducks
Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)
No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)
Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)
John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)
*=Inconclusive results.
Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....
“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]
“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]
“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]
Bonus
“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]
“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 
Nashville Predators
Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)
PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)
Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)
Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)
*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]
Write-ins 
“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”
“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]
“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]
Columbus Blue Jackets
Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)
Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)
Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)
Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)
*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]
Write-ins
“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]
“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]
“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]
Minnesota Wild
J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)
Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)
Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)
Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)
*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.
Write-ins
“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]
“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]
“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]
FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.
Vegas Golden Knights
William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)
Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)
Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)
Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)
*= Inconclusive results.
Write-ins
“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]
“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]
“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]
Bonus/Honorable mentions:
The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo
Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans
36 notes · View notes
boyshoujo · 6 years
Note
u don't even know me but u already kno me and my personality?? wow u must be a sorcerer.................. but im indeed problematic, and ummm i don't like filet o fish??? i hate her but we go to mcdonald's almost everyday and im forced to eat something so it's the only choice i have........ the meat and chicken at mcdonald's tastes like plastic but that damn fish tastes REAL!!! she isn't fake..............
yea Whatever….. a few days ago u told me that “filet of fish gives [you] emotional support” ???? but when i out u suddenly u hate her??? what’s the truth :/
what’s wrong with hadaka shitsuji???? its a funny game!!! don’t u like the main character tomoaki?? he’s the only good main character ive ever seen in my life and he’s a sadistic bitch??? i love sadistic binches cuz they are like me!!! i felt like “i” was in the game when i saw him, he killed everybody and i was proud of this ugly fuck cuz thats what i would do if i was in this game,,,,,,,,,, i would do more fucked up things than him but anyway, i don’t like fedoras!!!!! i just like that dude-
LFSJLKFSJKSF bceuacuse IT’s A BAD GAME!!!!!!!! ITS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually you remind me of tomoaki???? a lot???? gotta add that to ur callout list……………
-cuz he’s funny and btw he’s the one wearing a purple jacket and his name is hashizuka and that fake loser who is a cheap version of sergei is called junichi :/ and tbh i send u furry asks cuz ur the only one who accepts me for who i really am,,,,,,,,, like i sent some arcana blogs some asks about fucking a fictional goose and a donut kink and they just said “what the fuck” and ehh they’re so serious?? like chill its just a joke jfc sharon :/ i go to their pathetic edgy blogs and this is how they treat me???? i just wanted to cheer ur edgy ass up sharon don’t act like ur 70 dammit just accept a joke lol
LFKSKFSJK bicht i’m literally 0.00039 seconds into the game u rec’d and???? /?? ??? literally ALL of the guys r pathetic???? they go to a school called Charming Cherries lFKJLF AAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS does this mean the principal guy is a Veteran Cherry…………………..binch…. that’s Why he wears a fedora………………………………..i accidentally picked the annoying know-it-all guy so i’ll go for him first and then mayb try the ceo guy……dONUT KINK,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , > >>>???/ ??/ ?? ??? ?? no offense but i’d be like ???????????? GET OUTTA MY INBOX???????? HOW DARE U COME IN AND DISRESPECT MY BRAND LIKE THIS??? ?? ?? ?? ? ………….anyways i wanna hear about the donut kink LOLIKR!!!!!!! !  ! i hate people who r too serious………………………i mean…. im actually p serious Tbh but some people on this website can’t take jokes????? i saw a shitpost where this person was like “some of yall need 2 get mugged lol” and people were like “why do u want people to suffer so bad??? SHOULD I JUST DIE THEN!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!!!!” and im like …………… wtf chill Ashley lmao………
i feel like if i ever met u we would be the best friends ever?? actually i would be the one who’s crying cuz we both have the same taste?? ik a lot of characters like segrei and vincent so if u want me to tell u their names im gonna say it in another ask, and i like how u don’t judge me unlike all of my new friends ;^( i had a friend in middle school in 7 grade and i told her a lot of weird shit and she didn’t judge me??? she was a true friend indeed……………….
give me more sergei characters 👏👏👏👏 also DW im deFINITELY JUDGING YOU LMAO but im amused and laughing at the same time?? sometimes u send me asks and im like ???? ????? ? ?? ?? ?? ? ? ????????wtf lmao ? ??? ?
im sure if we talked more ur gonna find out that we’re literally friend-mates= 2 lonely binches who got the same taste in fictional character and idk but we would be the best bff’s ever tbh?? ur the friend who i have been searching for years?? everyone finds my thirst and my “weeaboo” ass (although im not a fuckin weeaboo im just thirsty for fictional characters!!) too weird and they always say “u can’t take ANYTHING seriously!!” like?? im 5???? why should i take anything seriously?? im not 70??
gfgfg bicth? i don’t even know anything about you, how can we be friends!!!!! WHO ARE YOU!! ! !! ! we should make a Lonely Bitch club but the requirements to enter are: do u play otome? would u body slam lucio into the pavement??? would u fuck the goth fish from finding nemo?? r u a thirsty ho????
i thought u would say “she’s a thot lol” and u would agree with me that she’s a thot??? if we didn’t know each other im trying to know her??? im trying to be friends with her????? how am i going to be friends with her if i didn’t talk to her?? fuck that shitty book??? im more important???? im sure she can read that damn book at her home and not in school!!!!!!! she should study like the rest of us………. and she shouldn’t study HER book!!!!!!!!!!!!
JKSJLSJKSJF i just realized, all of my friendships w/ virgos happened bc they woULDNT STOP TALKING/BOTHERING ME LOL this is why i love virgos…………. ur like stray cats that just never stop meowing until u let them in……maybe u should bother her more FKLSJFKJFS and she’ll finally crack
if i ever tried to read a book it should have pictures in it cuz i don’t want to imagine all that shit by myself!!!!!!! just add a fucking picture jfc…………….. i was exactly like that when i was a kid and im still the same??? i haven’t changed much tbh and im glad???? im glad i still have that silly trait of mine lol 
no offense but READ?????????? imagining things is fun??????????????? books r so much fun????????? wtf???rn im reading a book about some ugly french guy from the 18th century with a Superhuman sense of smell who kills girls to make The Ultimate Perfume or whatever?? im barely like 50 pages in, but he killed his first girl?? and literally shoved his nose up her ass?? it was wild?????? books r wild??????
we’re going to study about christopher columbus this year and his ugly face is in my book???? like bitch why u gotta curse my book with ur disgusting face???? im going to roast this bitch when we get to his part in the book and everyone is going to ask me: “binch y are u angry???” and im like “why don’t u do some fuckin research sharon abt this ugly fuck and then ur going to understand why im angry” like get out of my book u lil bitch!!!!!!! that dam book is cursed now!!!!!!!
👏👏👏 END HIm
I LIKE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER TOO!!!!! im just kidding but what’s ur favorite season???? mine is winter cuz uhhhh its winter???? everyone who hates winter is canceled??? lucio loves summer and is canceled????
fall-winter???? bc halloween…….. and american thanksgiving is fucked up bc it essentially celebrates the genocide of native americans but tbh……..i love turkey…… (we eat roast turkey and mashed potatoes n pumpkin pie n stuff for thanksgiving)also i just love it when the weather gets colder??? i get to dress up??? and be fashionable??? when it’s hot, all i wear are t shirts and shorts which is Boring it doesn’t snow where i live though lmao and it’s typically warm year-round where i live :/ winter is the only time i get to pull out all my cute sweaters and jackets but some winters only get cold for 2 weeks lmao :—–/
so you’re american right???? which means u have halloween rn??? or does it start on 31 if im not mistaken???? sadly we don’t have halloween here……………………………………………. they consider it “an event where people worship satan” here lmao
halloween is only one day (31st) SKJKSJ
i think its hot if batman would ever judge me
KSJKFSJFKLJFSK i;m gonna frame this ask Bye
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whentvsfly · 7 years
Text
Rules: Answer the 20 Questions in a new post and tag the 20 blogs that you would like to get to know better!
Tagged by @pundeserving, and @acearadiamegido​ (oops. thanks u fucks)
Nickname: uh....a lotta ppl just call me Mac, but also that means people sometimes do shit like call me Mac Attack, Mac-klemore, Mac-aroni and Cheese, and other such things. also things like nerd and fucker but like uk
Pronouns: literally anything but she/her, but like mainly just they/them or he/him. They them is the most neutral feeling, and while it’s a little startling to be referred to as he/him it’s......rly nice.
Star Sign: Gemini binches
Height: 5′ 5.5″ yes i could round up but...look how nice those three 5′s look....
Time right now: 11:04 am. Just woke up like half hour ago and im ready for bed
Last thing I googled: ‘petco activated charcoal’ uhm. My mom wants to make a terrarium but I read u shud put activated charcoal in in there and it said you could get it from pet stores??? so i was checking
Favorite solo artists: hhhhh i dunno...im not sure who IS solo andshit ....
Song stuck in my head: most recent one was King by Lauren Aquilina
Last movie I watched: ....shrek 2
Last TV Show I watched:  bnha!! finally got caught up damn
When did you create your blog: well....my oldest post is 5 yrs old (26th of september of 2012 (it was a wednesday)) but I feel i may have made it a while before and just never posted anything heh
What kind of stuff do you post: memes, funny text posts, cute animals, funny videos/audio....pretty audio, a fuckton of mp100 at the mo god damn im in deep, sometimes art and writing of my own. Just. A mess of things
Do you have any other blogs: Nope. No sideblogs, we make a mess of our mains like men
Do you get asks regularly: like....sometimes? If i reblog enough of those ‘send me asks...’ posts i can get like. 1 or 2.
Why did you choose your URL: ok.....so waaay back when. There was a fosters home for imaginary friends online game. I was rly into cats, so when I made my imaginary friend on there i named her ‘flyiingkat’ (i think that’s how I spelled it). that was way back when i still used my moms email to do this shit pff.  Anyways, then I went onto club penguin and variations of ‘flying cat’ were taken so I was like. Fuck it. And named my lil penguin ‘flyingtv’. and then when I wentto make my OWN email i was like....hah lets have it be the same. so I did. and then my url became ‘when tvs fly’ because...i dunno, i couldn’t come up with anything better and now its my Brand (i still cant come up w anything better and I don’t like change)
Following: 190
Posts: hoo boy...109,136
Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff
Pokemon team: Mystic...rly should’ve been Instinct tho, hatching eggs is more my style and once someone told me I was literally Spark so...
Favorite colors: like...a lotta blues - light blue and teal and junk. and light green. Love me them blues n greens n sometimes yellow too
Average hours of sleep: uhmmm....7-9? because i stay up til fuckin 1-3 am and make myself wake up abt 10:30 so I dont miss out on friend time by sleeping away all morning and some afternoon. i do take a lotta naps so maybe its more like 8-12 hours of sleep w/ naps a day
Lucky number(s): i dunno but ive always loved the number 52....and i love 2 and 3. does 000 count cause i like that too.
Favorite manga characters: gosh...ive realy only read hxh and mp100 (ive...read like one (1) chapter of bnha but i....dont know the Names). Im love my main sons Killua and Shou, but also gon and shigeo and ritsu and teru and takenaka and tome and mezato and tsubomi and ....just so many ppl from mp100 are also my children. Also ik that basically all the kids from bnha will also be my children (except...that fuckin. perv kid hes not mine) but like...i havent.....read the manga yet........i was gonna do that after reading mp100..........i didnt anticipate getting hyperfixated before i could read it................
How many blankets do you sleep with: like......for naps - 1 or 2 (bc they small) and for actual night time sleep like. 2 or 3. A comforter or 2 for my main self and a lil blanket for my feet (if im at the dorms)
Dream job: one off them game devs. I wanna make video games. I should relly get on that.
Dream trip: fuckin...France looks nice and maybe I’d be able to actually use my 4 yrs of french for smth actually useful....but also a road trip with my friends to ...anywhere is also.......Nice
Who I tag: thinking abt tagging people is making me anxious! So just. If you wanna do it and u saw this u can say I tagged u.
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