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boasamishipper · 5 years

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endgame review (spoilers!!!)

okay so now that i’ve finally stopped crying and had a good night’s sleep here are all of my thoughts on avengers endgame:

things i liked:

the opening scene with clint losing his wife and kids -- my heart was in my throat the whole time; i felt so so bad for him

nebula and tony bonding

steve getting rid of that beard like thank god

tony and pepper reuniting

tony FINALLY telling steve off for everything; as a lifelong tony stan this was super cathartic

scott reuniting with cassie; in fact, all of scott’s scenes were awesome

bonus - the fact that the only reason any of this was able to happen was because a rat accidentally turned the machine back on

the fact that tony got married to pepper!!! and had a daughter!!! he was such a good dad to baby morgan i loved it

carol’s new haircut 👌 👌 👌

tony looking at peter’s picture 😭 😭😭

“shit :)”

“i love you 3000″

all of the time travel scenes. did the rules make sense? nope. did i love seeing the crew go back in time to all of the previous avengers movies and see their past selves and fuck around with the timeline? absolutely.

going off that -- getting to see all the minor characters like jane and frigga and hank was awesome. i loved the entire time heist plot.

loki making fun of cap by transforming into him

“hail hydra” followed by that smirk (and the fact that they made fun of the whole hydra!cap thing was awesome)

the cap vs cap fight

thor getting to talk to his mother

tilda swinton’s character and bruce talking. seeing her again was def a surprise.

nebula and gamora talking and teaming up to fuck thanos over. karen gillam was great in this film.

tony getting to talk to his father (and the fact that the code name he used was howard potts like??? i cry)

“we’re a long way from budapest” be still my 2013 clintasha heart

the new infinity gauntlet being made out of tony’s iron man hand

the fact that they brought everyone back without fucking up the timeline. i was so worried they’d have to erase tony’s kid from existence but they didn’t so thank god.

steve wielding mjolnir. ngl that was pretty cool.

EVERYONE COMING BACK!!! (i knew it was coming. everyone knew it was coming. but it was still great to see.)

steve saying “avengers assemble”

PETER AND TONY’S REUNION!!! (i waited an entire fucking year for this and it was WORTH IT)

PEPPER FIGHTING ALONGSIDE TONY!!! HOPE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE SCOTT!!! battle couple goals :D

“hey peter parker”

“i am inevitable.” “i am...iron man.” S O B B I N G

tony’s death. like am i sad that tony died??? 150%. but it made narrative sense, he got to be happy with his kid and pepper (for however brief of a time), he found the loophole in time travel that allowed him to save everybody, and he dusted thanos. “you can rest now.” 😭😭😭 a fitting ending for the strongest avenger.

the entire funeral scene. the viking funeral wreath thing with the “proof tony stark has a heart” on it??? GOOD SHIT. i was bawling.

happy and morgan. that kid’s going to have happy wrapped around her little finger.

tony’s final message

the thorkyrie scene (even if i didn’t like what was being said i’m glad they shared some screentime.)

harley coming back!!!

sam becoming captain america (THANK GOD)

the end credits with rdj (the man who singlehandedly made the mcu amazing) being billed last. the theater was cheering and crying at the same time and it was amazing.

the final bit at the end with the noise from tony making his first suit. 😭😭😭

things i didn’t like:

the way they treated thor. taika made thor so amazing in ragnarok and the russos (and the screenwriters) got jealous and shit all over it!!! wtf!!! (and all of the fat jokes and jokes about his ptsd were NOT cool. didn’t like rocket slapping him out of his panic attack either.) can’t believe they made him an alcoholic who sits on his ass and plays fortnite all day. wtf.

for that matter -- i CANNOT believe that he would just up and fuck off with the guardians of the galaxy and abandon his people. is valkyrie a worthy leader??? absolutely. but so is thor!!! that was his entire arc in endgame like WTF!!!! (also the fact that we didn’t get a thorkyrie kiss is fucking CRIMINAL)

also why couldn’t he keep the short hair??? why did he have to get mjolnir back when taika went to all the trouble of showing he didn’t need the hammer to be a hero? did they just want to fuck up EVERYTHING that taika did?

the ending for steve. ‘nuff said.

no you know what? i’m going to go into this further. do i like steve? no. i never have. his actions toward tony in civil war put him on my shitlist forever, and that’s all i am willing to say about that. but you expect me to believe that steve fucking rogers (who KNEW that peggy moved on, lived a good life and had a husband and kids) really went back and fucked up the timeline just to be with her? he barely knew her!! they barely bonded in the first avenger at all!! also there are so many plotholes with how in the world he managed that (what happened when the other cap woke up from the ice???) also does this mean that his ‘romance’ with sharon is technically incest??? and did he just live out the rest of his life with peggy knowing that bucky was being tortured by hydra? insert “it’s bad writing” gif here.

(i am glad that he passed the shield onto sam though. bucky would have been a terrible choice for captain america.)

ALSO. you know who would have been a better choice to go back in time and live the rest of their life with the people that they loved and could not be with due to reasons outside their control? CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. let her go back in time and live a happy life with her wife and kid. #carolmaria4evr

the fact that natasha died instead of clint. i literally cannot fucking believe that they fridged the first female avenger just for clint’s (and everyone’s) man pain. it was bad enough when they fridged gamora for thanos’s man pain. clint should have died in nat’s place and the fact that he didn’t is a huge fucking cop out and that’s the that on that.

for that matter -- clint’s entire storyline prior to going back in time was WILD. his only explanation for killing all those people was “thanos snapped half the universe and you didn’t die so imma kill you.” FUCKING WHAT????

the fact that the russos are patting themselves on the back for their “woke lgbt rep” that was actually just a “leave for the bathroom and miss it” extra. you know what would have been better? a stucky ending. a sambucky ending. carol going home to monica and maria. valkyrie kissing a girl. ANYTHING would have been better than that.

speaking of carol -- she was CRIMINALLY underused in this movie. she was barely shown mourning fury (and also!!! why did we get no confirmation about monica and maria????) and barely spoke to the team in general. i thought she was going to have a major role (and would help them go back in time) but she didn’t and that disappointed me.

did i like the fact that she destroyed thanos’s fleet? yes. but i wish she was used more. she’s the most powerful avenger ever!!! and i wish that she got to speak more with tony as they’re friends in the comics.

(BRIE LARSON IS AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS AND THEY BARELY USED HER!!! LIKE WTF)

i won’t even get into the makeup thing bc that’s already been said and done. actually no i will. there was no reason for her to have perfect hair and lipstick and makeup. that’s not who she is. please let butch ladies continue to be butch please and thank you.

the fact that they didn’t bring gamora and natasha back :(

this might be controversial but i didn’t love the fact that pepper and tony suddenly retired to a lakehouse and became stay at home parents. i was totally expecting pepper and tony to keep running stark industries and make it into a charity organization that helped people in need/those affected by the snap.

the fact that they never fucking explained how time travel worked and WHY they couldn’t just go back and kill thanos as a baby (that was a good suggestion!). and the thing where nebula shot her past self and somehow lived??? it made no sense. i mean. i know it’s bad writing. but i was expecting it to be at least a LITTLE better. where are my explanations.

speaking of bad writing -- did the avengers ever come out and say the reason that everyone got dusted? did everyone know it was bc of thanos? why are some places in such states of disrepair and others are not? who ruled wakanda since shuri and t’challa were dusted? so many unanswered questions. rip.

the directing of the final battle was on par with the throne room battle scene in the last jedi in that both are chaotic and messy and that’s the that on that. as was the scene where hawkeye was beating up the yakuza. messy. lame. yawn.

the scene with all of the female superheroes. was it cool? sure. do i wish natasha could have been there? YES. do i wish that the mcu had more female superheroes? DOUBLE YES. was it a blatant attempt for the russos to pat themselves on the back and be like “sEE!! WE’RE FEMINISTS!!! LOOK AT US!!”?? definitely.

honestly, i was expecting the acting to be way worse than it was based on how all my mutuals were going off about it. overall, though, it was clear in some scenes that the actors had no idea what the context of their lines were and the acting was pretty meh throughout, and for the biggest marvel movie of the year the acting should be a damn sight better than “meh”. but this just reinforces what i know already, which is that the russos are shitty directors. get them as far away from the mcu as possible please and thank you.

things i wish we got:

a carolmaria reunion

a peter&may reunion

a fury&everyone (and esp a fury&carol reunion)

clint sacrificing himself instead of nat sacrificing herself

valkyrie talking to thor about overcoming alcoholism and ptsd

thor staying in new asgard with his people

steve going back and dancing with peggy like he promised and THEN going back to the future (where all of his friends are) and retiring or helping fury bring back shield.

better writers

better directors

an end credits scene that set up phase 4 (tho i assume we will be getting that in spiderman far from home)

tldr - thor got fucked over. tony is a hero and the love of my life. steve shouldn’t have gone back in time to be with peggy. nat shouldn’t have been fridged. the writing was meh and the directing was worse. not the complete and utter shitshow i was expecting, but not the so-called greatest movie in the mcu. give rdj an honorary oscar. 6/10.

#personal #my stuff #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #endgame review #endgame salt #kind of??#marvel spoilers #mcu spoilers #well this got a lot longer than i expected #this is very rambly please enjoy

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