#also the owner was unaware of the coyote in her when they had her

[flawlessbrouhaha]

saw a tiktok where this person said their dog killed their kitten and rehomed the dog because they were too mad from what happened. which makes sense. but now people are shitting all over the dog saying she shouldve known better, she deserves to die, she doesn’t deserve to feel sad she got rehomed, etc. like guys. this is a dog. calm down. it happens, playtime gets a little too rough. dogs are predators and cats are typically smaller than them. also i should mention the dog was part coyote so yeah, her instincts are harder to control

#rant #also the owner was unaware of the coyote in her when they had her #also even the owner said they still hate her and want her dead. but also says they love their pets like they’re their children. #like please get help. it’s a dog. you’re holding a grudge against a dog.

[pjstafford]

It is the Best and Worst of Times.

Dear Tumblr

It is a Sunday evening, January 13, 2019.  Outside the rain is turning to snow.  Tomorrow morning we should expect freezing fog.  There has been a long string of storms this winter season already.  

I  eagerly anticipated 2019.   In my mind, The New Year doesn’t begin until Tuesday because on Tuesday my life changes.  I will be moving to Santa Fe for two months for the new legislative session in my capacity as a lobbyist for disability issues.  New governor, both houses Democratic, and prosperity for New Mexico! The possibility of hope is in the air - and so it is with me, as well.  I am taking advantage of the fact that my expenses in Santa Fe are paid for two months to move out of where I have been living for the last six.  I knew when I moved in it would be temporary, but it was a desperate move after a traumatic experience.    I will take the couple of months in Santa Fe to look for a new place in Albuquerque for when I return.  I will look for a space to call my own after a couple of difficult years.  

2019 so far has not gone well.    I was sick for a day or two.  I was reminded quickly in the New Year that my past was filled with pain; with the belief in a love that never was, with the trust in the wrong people, with dreams I hardly knew I was saying goodbye to until they were long gone in the past.  Last week-end I had  an argument with someone I have known and loved since my twenties.  Tumblr is much too public to talk about it in details except to say it left me shaken and full of self-doubts. Also, it reminded me of so many past regrets.  On more practical terms, my car, in the shop because I hit a coyote, had a higher repair cost estimate than what the insurance had expected and the debate was on over whether on not the car (which I have been driving fine for five months since I hit the coyote) would be totaled.  That would have left me still owing $4000 on that car plus trying to get into another car somehow. 

This week-end more than usual has been a week-end of ups and downs to the degree that I find myself wanting to stop, take a breath, and think for just a minute.   “Time is a Jet plane,” says Bob Dylan, “It moves too fast.”  Tonight, I am once again in a time of transition. So, I  take a breath, and process this week-end.

My car went in on Monday and it was Friday before I got the word that my car was deemed repairable.  Friday afternoon then was so good, so wonderful, everything has changed again for the better because that stress is gone.  

Saturday I went to a pre-legislative forum for disability and it was a truly great morning with high hopes.  The room was full and the confidence was high!  I am so fortunate to have a job doing some actual good in this word!  Still, for some reason, persons reminded me of my (ahem) longevity in the field.  In other words I am really old.  A couple of people asked me about the first company I had worked for in the field - that one on Lomas you used to work for?  It was called Career Services.  

Saturday afternoon my roommate /landlord puppy ran away.  He was a sweet puppy; ten month old great Dane who, when he stood on his hind legs, was taller than I am.  He has been here about two weeks, from the pound and battling a lung ailment.  His owner, my roommate and landlord,  searched for him for the last two days.  I hope this sweet, loving puppy is ok tonight- in warmth, safe and with good food.  

Last night I went and saw George Clinton and the PFunks.  So gosh darn good.  I have been wanting to see them for 30 years or more.  Did not disappoint

Today, while packing for my move, I received a call from one of my closest friends that her step daughter had died.  She was fifty.  I actually knew her before I knew my friend.  We had worked together at the location on Lomas - Career Services.  

This, then, is life described in one week-end.  People die.  Tragedies happen.  Real tragedies.  Personal financial struggles frustrate and sometimes those tragedies are averted and sometimes are not, but the struggle, they continue.  We get a few brief minutes to do some good in the world or to hear some great music. Then it can be gone in a second, in a moment, in a flash.  

In my twenties, I struggled financially but thought it was temporary.  I was married and thought it would last forever, but I didn’t even know then the realities of what was going in my own world, in my own marriage, in my own life.  I was unaware of some deception.  I was blissfully ignorant.  It was the best and worst of times. 

In my 30′s, newly divorced and trying to find meaning in my life I started a career at an agency called Career Services.  I made some life long friends.  I struggled less financially despite  having a mortgage and a new car payment.  I found out I could not have children.  I thought maybe in time I would find a new love.  It was the best and worst of times. 

In my 40′s, I started a business and struggled financially and had prosperity intermittently.  There was no time for love or relationships.  I had a good friend who turned out to be untrustworthy.  I did some amazing work.  I made an impact on the world.  It was the best and worst of times 

In my 50′s, I made the same romantic mistakes I made in my twenties. However I learned that I don’t want to be alone.  I struggled as much financially as I ever have.  I realized the financial struggles were likely never going to end.  I found that I can be forgiving and loving and still hurt people somehow and that people can be kind one minute and cruel the next.   I realized the true meaning of loneliness.  I realize that I should allow people to help me.  I realize that I was not alone in the world and had people who loved me.  I relearned the importance of laughter and joy  It was the best and worst of times.  

My fifties are not yet over.  Will the next two years bring something different than what I expect?  I both hope and fear it will.  Each  time is the best and worst. Value each other!     I have at various times in recent years been afraid to love, to trust, to care, to interact, to engage with the world.  My reasons for this are sound based on my past.  However it didn’t prevent the worst of times and possibly did reduce the quality of the good times.   So tonight- a new commitment to risk it all on the voyage we call life.  2019- the year is just beginning!