#also the bigger their following the more toxic it is

[chrollohearttags]

the baby trapper | armin artlert

armin wants to make sure you don’t ever leave him. Even if he has to resort to desperate measures

content + themes: porn w/ a little plot, toxic armin making his triumphant return, baby trapping (new to writing this so forgive me if it doesn’t sound right), slight yandere vibes (?) missionary, rough sex, daddy kink, breeding (dk what it is with this man and breeding 😫), unprotected sex, he’s so terrible but he’s so sexy

wc: 1.7K

📝: trying to get my steam back a little and I also couldn’t stop thinking about @levisbaldheadedwh0re and his five baby mamas 😭😭 I’d like to think this is how his ass got them.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.

you’d told yourself no..you’d said it time and again that you were done. That this would be the very last time you’d see him..that he didn’t deserve you. All of which were false except the latter. Because somewhere in the back of your consciousness, you knew…you knew it’d always be this way. A tumultuous, repetitive cycle of breaking up and making up even harder. Telling him you hated his guts only got him to be in yours hours later; saying how sorry he was and you’d always forgive him without pause. But this time, he couldn’t be certain…the risk of you actually following through on your promise was far too great. You made it abundantly clear that if he didn’t get his shit together, you were breaking up with him. And to take things a step further, you were moving out of this city and leaving his ass behind entirely. The prospect of you moving onto bigger and better things..new job that paid amicably, an apartment on a nicer side of town than where you currently were and of course, a better man. You had every intention of doing so too. That was until…

“Keep fucking me!…just like that. Right there..”

“Right there, baby? That’s your spot, ain’t it?..squeezing me so fucking tight—“

until you made the rather ignorant choice to make one last visit to the toxic, selfish man known as Armin Artlert. Giving your final plea of sorts; hoping that he’d beg your forgiveness and vow to be a better boyfriend. Because although he wasn’t the best fit for you in the slightest, there was still some semblance of love there. A part of you cared so deeply and didn’t want to let him go. But the truth was, that was pure, unadulterated lust! The connection you felt for him was nothing more than an attachment to his sex..the way he fucked you was incomprobable. Hadn’t met a man who could make you feel the way he did physically. Despite causing you pain in every other area..regardless, you looked past it once he got you out of your clothes and on his mattress, practically breaking the bed frame trying to put you through it.

“Arminnn!….oh my gosh..”

coiling both your wrists and ankles into his grasp, he’d keep you in place, pounding into that core with consistent strokes. Each one going deeper and deeper..drumming out loud whimpers and arousal all the same. A sheath of your juices were leaking onto the sheets, along with staining his cock. He didn’t care..he desired more. Almost as if he were addicted to it. You were already overstimulated; afraid that you couldn’t take another orgasm. All of this came only after he had eaten your pussy to the point of tears. Yet, here he was..determined to get more than his fill. Those blonde locks plastered to his forehead due to the pouring sweat trickling down his body. He always got this way when he was inside of you. The only time he’d give you his all; completely devoted to ensuring that you received the ultimate pleasures. Trembling and shaking, (y/n) gazed into those icy colored eyes, each of which were teeming with lust for you as he finally faltered his speed a little. Those arms..each toned and laced with detailed tattoos stood at your side like that of pillars. “Yes, baby? Something on your mind?”

at the moment, it was completely blank. Your brain dumbed and fucked out by his unrelenting resolve. Not to prove he would treat you right but to ensure that you didn’t go elsewhere. That even if you decided to get in that car tomorrow, drive miles away and never look back, he’d be forever imprinted in your memory..

“I-I can’t..no more, baby. Please…oh my gosh.”

however, that wasn’t the only way that Armin was planning to leave his mark on you. Because little did you know, he had devised a plan to ensure that the two of you would be bound for a lifetime. Whether you wanted to do so or not..

“No more? Oh, sweetheart..I know you can give me so much more than that..” his voice mirroring that of a very nefarious villain. Even patting your cheek and sliding a thumb between your lips for a small semblance of comfort. You looked so cute and utterly pathetic. So much so the sight made him twitch whilst buried to your hilt. That swollen cock head pressing directly against the entrance of your womb. He hadn’t been entirely honest when he invited you over for what he called “one last talk.”..hell, he had no intentions at all of sitting down and discussing the state of your relationship, what he could do to resolve it or how to be a better man. His one and true objective was to get you pregnant! He wanted you to be with his child, so that no matter where you strayed, you’d be reminded of him. He’d constantly tell you how he wanted you to have his baby and that you’d look so pretty carrying it. But you couldn’t in good faith raise a child with someone as irresponsible as Armin! His employment was constantly fleeting, he lacked all the skills required to care for another human being and you didn’t want that risk. But you truly had no choice..no choice but to lie there and take every inch of him as your beautiful brown eyes rolled to the back of your skull. As that appendage left an imprint in the pit of your belly, kissing the inner corner of that cervix. Your legs flailing midair and your toes curling to the max. He wanted to keep you like this forever..admire and treasure his most precious possession..

“I mean..I bet if I do this..” suddenly, you’d feel that swelling tension in your loins deepening when he rubbed your clit with his free thumb. “No wait!—“ “..you’ll come so hard, I won’t even be able to stay inside of you.” His voice is so condescending but soothing in a way. He gave you sweet nothings with the most sour of intentions. Knowing that he wasn’t going to allow you to leave here tonight without every last drop of his seed in your womb. Until he saw the lines on that test indicating a positive result. He needed it..he needed you so fucking badly!

“So that’s why I want you to take it…take all this fucking dick, sweetheart. You’re such a good girl..the only one who can get all of my nut. So do it..take it just like you did the other ones.”

it was then that those vigorous thrusts would resume. Even harder than before and he didn’t care that he had now freed your hands and you were utilizing them as a means to slow him down. He’d merely put them right back where they started. “If you can’t keep your hands to yourself, beautiful. I guess I’ll just have to hold them again.” Meanwhile, he’d release another maniacal laugh and shove his tongue between your lips; swirling it around your own until you were whimpering into his mouth. He had maximized his speed and was rutting those hips until you felt him to the hilt. That tight cunt made even more constricted by his previous loads that had been sloshing around. Throbbing and leaking as he thrashed you around. His thick girth and long length fill every sector of you. He had full dominion over this body and wasn’t letting go!

“Are you gonna do as I asked, baby? You’ll do whatever I want, right?..”

“Y-yes, daddy! Fuck meeee..”

“And you’re not going any fucking where, isn’t that right?..”

“No…oh my gosh, just don’t stop.”

your answer seemed to satisfy his ego well enough and that was all he needed to persist. Smirking down and rewarding you with another kiss, Armin gently stroked the side of your face before leaning back up.

“That’s right, baby. Get used to calling me daddy..because I want to get you pregnant. Fill that pretty pussy up..you ready?” You’d vehemently nod with tears in your eyes. Begging for him to do so..to make you his forever. With only a couple more strokes, he’d take an inch or so out and for his final thrusts, slow down.. “..c’mon, beg me. Lemme hear you say that shit. Tell me you want my babies..tell me you want me to get you pregnant.” Leaving you no option than to do so and truth be told…

“Come in me, daddy! Please..give it to me..”

“There we go…now hold still..”

you wouldn’t want it any other way! Finally, he’d come to a halt and you’d feel that earlier throbbing increased tenfold. All that mounting tension of being between those tight walls had finally caught up and he couldn't hold or pull out. “Ah—haaa..shit, coming!”

pulling you into his chest, Armin would empty every last remnant of his cum into your womb, filling your stomach with every ounce, joining the other two that had followed before. You were stuffed to the brim; overflowing with the warm, white substance by the time he finished. Those strings of silky fluid didn’t come without a chorus of empty ‘I love you’s’ and tearful cries. He made you linger on every word. Hold on to hope that he meant what he spoke. But even if there wasn’t a hint of truth in his statement..

“Thank you, sweetheart…for letting me fill you up..look at that. Gonna look so pretty with my baby..I love you.”

it was too late. You were already trapped inside of his web!

#armin x reader #armin arlert #armin aot #armin x black reader #armin smut #armin x black y/n #armin x reader smut #aot x black reader #black fem reader #black reader #aot au #toxic armin #armin x y/n #armin x fem reader #armin arlet x reader #armin artlert #armin arlet smut #armin attack on titan #armin headcanons #armin imagine #snk smut #armin drabble #snk armin #armin arlet x black reader #armin arlet headcanons #armin arlet imagines #cw breeding #cw pregnancy #cw babytrapping #cw yandere

[justherejusttherejusteverywhere]

I hate how university has left me with urge to make a paper on a topic.

#personal #like...i just wanna research a thing and write about it so bad #perhaps the changing culture of feedback on creations of artist and writers #or the depth fic writers hold for people #maybe discuss the managing ones time on internet and unspoken rules to follow versus actions today #i dont know im just thinking #the drastic changing viewpoints of artists and writers held on internet over time? #the widening distance/unequal standings between writers and artists treatment in fandom spaces? #how popularity of social standings on media sites has no support on stances of a users moral judgements they show #(<- just because they are popular does not mean their actions/opinions make them right nor mean they cannot make mistakes) #how the bigger a fandom the more toxic fans become? #ooo how about: Bigger fandoms + popular pairings = Leading to more vocal toxicity aimed to artist and writers of pairing but also others #just brainstorming #if actually interested in any of these lr wanna chat about them #just let me know

[zafrinaxyz]

The Bet

Neteyam x Fem!Metkayina Reader

໒꒱ ‧₊˚ synopsis Neteyam cheats in a game of dice in order to have his way with you

໒꒱ ‧₊˚ wc short read

໒꒱ ‧₊˚ tags toxic / manipulative!neteyam. betting (?) soft blowjob / oral ( m receiving )

໒꒱ ‧₊˚ note super random . probably won't make sense . sorry if its confusing . this is my first drabble ? oneshot ? please be gentle with me 😂

enjoy x

໒꒱ ‧₊˚. NSFW MINORS DNI 18+ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

"A six. How unlucky" Neteyam smirks as he picks up the things he calls dice, small foreign objects he showed you from his dads home planet

"But why is it unlucky? You still haven't even explained the game!" Sitting in a kneeling position, you pout- growing more and more confused by the second

"Because I said so" Staring at you intensely, making you nervous and uneasy. You were both on an empty beach, on the opposite side of the Metkayina village. For some odd reason he didn't want anyone else to join you with this particular game, wanting it to be just the two of you. He said the game would be fun, not too many rules and simple to follow. But, he also said he couldn't tell you the rules, only he was allowed to know. How were you supposed to know if you won or not? He said he would tell you if and when you did- telling you to trust him

"Okay so now what?" You motion to begin to stand, legs aching from being in the stiff position for so long

"Ah ah , remember what you agreed to" He begins to rise too, making sure you don't start making your way back

"If I lose, then I would have to help you with something" with a pinch in your brow, your face is flat and annoyed, this game from earth was... awful

"Right.. So get back down on your knees and close your eyes" He was a few inches from your face, talking lowly

Your ears pinned back, eyes darting back and forth between his. You swallowed, then made your way back down into your original position, hands placed on your legs

"Neteyam, what am I do-"

"Shh, close your eyes. I won't say it again"

Your upper lip quirked, and with a deep exhale, you obeyed. "Perfect tanhi. Now open your mouth for me." What the hell is he doing? What kind of favor required all of this? You slowly opened your mouth, your brows pinching together even more than before

"Be really still for me" he breaths as he places his left hand on the side of your face, gently cupping your cheek and using his thumb, stroking your skin. Using his right hand, he slowly guides his shaft closer to your lips. He places the tip on your bottom lip, softly dragging it side to side

"Good, now stick your tongue out" Eyes still closed, You slowly extend the pink muscle until it connects with his tip. You retract instantly, precum covering your taste buds with a slight sourness

"Neteyam what kind of fruit is this?" Swirling your tongue around in your mouth, completely clueless. He lets out a breathy chuckle, "The best kind... now open wide"

Re-opening, he instantly begins to slowly slide his length in your warm mouth with a low moan. You began to whimper, the vibrations sending chills up his spine with his mouth agape

"Sssss , uh eywa" His right hand removed from his shaft to the back of your head, lightly fisting your hair

Your eyes finally pop open, unable to keep them shut any longer. They grow bigger with the realization of what's happening. You jerk back entirely until his entire length pops out, surprised look plastered on your features taking short quick breaths

Neteyams head shoots down with the loss of feeling, brows pinching together due to the instant cold

"Neteyam what the-"

"Remember the bet. You can't go back on your word"

You were in disbelief and shock. He never mentioned doing this. And now you can see why. But instead of getting up and leaving, you stayed put. It was actually quite.. exciting. Blinking a few times and without a reply, you take him back into your warmth and wetness, sucking on him firmly. You can feel every ridge with your tongue as he begins to harden even more. Moaning louder than before, he throws his head back in pleasure, overwhelmed by how amazing your mouth feels

"Fuck tanhi, you’re gonna make me cum" Struggling to speak, his face pointed towards the sky, eyes screwed shut trying to last just a little bit longer

You whimper at the praise, gradually increasing your movements. You raise your right hand and wrap it around his length, simultaneously sucking and stroking while your left hand lays flat against his hip.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" he huffs out, his breathing being very labored, nearing his release. You begin to twist your wrist and swipe your tongue over the tip, making his hips spasm. He grips your hair tightly before gripping completely, freezing his movements as he shoots his cum down your throat. you swallow quickly trying not to choke

"Shit .. you are absolutely gorgeous" removing himself from your mouth and catching his breath. He begins to come down from his high as he looks down at you with a haze and partially closed eyelids

you faintly smile up at him and he comes down to connect his lips with yours

maybe this game wasn't so bad after all

#neteyam smut #avatar after!dark┊͙ ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ #neteyam imagine #neteyam sully smut #neteyam sully #neteyam the bet #i fuckin love manipulation #neteyam #neteyam x metkayina!reader #neteyam x femalemetkayina reader #neteyam x female!metkayina #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x na'vi!reader #neteyam x female reader #𝕟𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕪𝕒𝕞 𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕤ೃ⁀➷

[wandasfifthwife]

a quiet mind is the devils playground

—ceo!wanda x fem!reader

tw: hurt/comfort, reader is described to have a form of toxic friends/bullies before, reader is described to have bad social anxiety, mental health spiral, angst w/ happy ending, crying, mentions of break up, Wanda is kind of snappy for a moment but apologizes :)

a/n: not proofread, I wrote this in like 40 mins lol— enjoy :)

Yesterday it feels like you had only just met her when you’ve known her for five years, plus three years of dating. What also feels like it was only yesterday, was knowing friends who cared to make it feel like it was hard to breathe, causing you run into the bathroom to try and compose yourself.

It’s years past, but your mind cannot forget the feeling. At any moment where it feels like history is about to repeat itself, you run away.

Wanda had stayed, helping you with your inner dialogue and discomfort with possible rejection. What she didn’t help plan for as when this feeling might be triggered by her.

Most jobs have their respective requirements to help the employee know what the expectations are if you wish to keep it. It was no different for Wanda, having a job that required the standard 9-5 as well as hours outside of work because accidents happen or something comes up.

It was accepted and expected.

You usually came and visited her during her work hours, choosing to drop by when you knew she had a moment in her schedule as well as yours. This time another woman occupied the chair you usually sat in.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting something—I can go—“ you mumble, moving to shut the door.

“No, please come in,” the woman, you find out her name is Juli, replied, “it’s nice to finally meet you.”

She leaves a second later, telling Wanda that they’ll have to discuss it over lunch later in the week before heading out. Wanda had smiled and pulled you into her lap, asking about your day and everything else besides her felt less important in that moment.

It was a second time around that you saw her near Wanda. A hand on the counter near her, smile resting on her face as she listened to Juli explain something to her and a group of girls surrounding them. For the first time in almost half a year you felt a similar feeling stirring within you.

You wanted to run away.

Instead you didn’t. You stayed outside of the lunch room, sitting in a nearby chair and listening to everything happening around in the office. It would have been just fine to have walked in and stood by her, but it wasn’t too big of a deal, right?

Not like it really mattered in the end. She would come out eventually and walk alongside you back home. Unless it was an odd day where she didn’t and you had to walk back yourself.

The third time you felt all of the past insecurities rise when you began to stalk Juli on social media. A bigger following, trendy, beautiful, funny. The ugly feeling began to rise within you again, saying that she was going to leave you just as everyone else did before.

It caused you to cry that night, fear taking over as you wondered if your overthinking was right as it has proved to be in the past. She still came home to you. Still texted you. Nothing had changed but you. You were scared of the chance it could as it has before.

It was a rabbit hole, digging itself after one thought, one small action of seeing someone conventionally seem to have life better than yours caused you to spiral.

The fourth was going ahead and taking a day off to rest. It would help to be more active and think on the subject a bit. It would be better you thought to try again.

So you had, trying to reach out to her in multiple ways. Social, in person, but it felt stagnant as when it did with Wanda. It felt overwhelming trying to force a conversation out of her.

Were you ugly, is that why they’re not talking to you?

It was overstimulating. Three girls in front of you, all giving each other a look that made your eyes begin to burn and leg begin to shake. It felt all too similar.

You had left, saying Wanda was calling you but that was a lie. It was helpful, using it to propel you into shoving yourself out the door and going into the bathroom again.

Frustration and hurt lined your heart. You were being silly. You always overthought. You need to stop being this way, you’re causing a scene. You hate your personality.

It was spiraling again, a dry sob coming from you. Tears filled your eyes and you gasped for air. But it felt stupid, all of it so as quickly as it began it stopped. You were so close to going back out again, wanting to seek your girlfriend when the two of the three girls came in, laughing.

You had no idea if it was about you or not but you just had to be selfish again and assume their gossip was about you. It could have been about the third that wasn’t present, about Wanda— but your mind filled the blanks in with your name written all over it. You waited until you were sure they left before you too took your own leave, heading to your car and going home for the night to try and recover.

The fifth time was when Wanda had called you, voice curt over the phone asking why it feels you’ve been ignoring her. You had questioned in your mind whether or not to be honest, but you choose to keep it hidden— not wishing to worry her. It was apparently the wrong answer.

She had taken a minute to lecture you, wishing you would be more upfront and honest with her. She wished you wouldn’t lie, you did too. You don’t know why you’re this way but it caused you to tear up, the bottle inside you beginning to crack at the edges. It grew to be too much when she hadn’t stopped after almost four minutes.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” you sobbed into the phone, “I can’t be perfect. Okay, I know how much I mess up. I see it compared to other’s who have it come so easily. If you want that then why don’t you just break up with me?”

You ended the call halfway through her calling your name, hands pressing in your eyes as you again register what you just did, immediately regretting it like all of your other actions this week. It felt like it was too much. You needed time to go by, you needed to feel like you weren’t as annoying or using up so many “get out of guilt” free cards.

You don’t want her to break up with you. The thought alone had you crying again, reaching for the phone that was already ringing.

“I’m sorry,” it was the first thing that came out, “please don’t break up with me.”

“I’m not, pодная. Oh my love, how long have you been feeling like this? I’m so sorry for speaking like that to you.”

“Don’t apologize, please. I should be sorry for a lot of things.”

“You have no right to be sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong. I just spoke terrible to you, I’m so sorry, my love.”

You wipe at your face, head already beginning to ache with how hard you were just crying. You lean back into the bed, whispering for her to come home, and were pleasantly surprised when you heard her keys in the front door. She calls your name, face frowning even more when she sees you.

“I was able to get off work earlier today. When I called you earlier I was going to call and ask if you wanted to do something together but instead I took my stress out on you,” she says all of this while coming and resting beside you.

Your hand wraps around her waist, head comfortably on her chest, “I’m happy you’re back. Can we sit in silence? I don’t feel like talking.”

She hums, closing her eyes and rubbing small comforting circles onto the palm of your hand. You closed your eyes, shutting off another set of tears when you thought that this moment could have possibly never happened again. You shut it all off as you drifted asleep, smiling when you feel her kiss your head.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x you #ceo!wanda x fem!reader #ceo!wanda x reader #ceo!wanda #wanda maximoff x you #wanda #hurt/comfort

[bblovetarot]

{⊹} Messages from your higher self

ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ Pick a Pile ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ 

. ༄ . paid readings . ༄

。°⚠︎°。follow your intuition when choosing a pile. if you're drawn to more than one pile, that's okay! you may have messages in more than one.

。°⚠︎°。tarot readings are not 100% accurate, and do not dictate your future. please keep in mind that you have free will. these readings are also general and aren't specific to one person, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't! 

Pile 1

For those in Pile 1, it appears that many of you are grappling with toxic family dynamics. Whether you're still living with your parents or they play a significant role in your life, there's a strong indication that financial dependence, particularly on a father figure or someone with authority over you, is a prevailing issue. This person may exhibit controlling and domineering behaviors, with a tendency to become aggressive and hotheaded when things don't go their way. The guidance from your higher self emphasizes the importance of trusting your intuition in this situation. It seems that there's an unspoken need for you to speak up, although fear of potential consequences, especially the withdrawal of financial support, may be holding you back. Your higher self encourages you to recognize that the time to assert yourself will come, whether it's now or in the future. There's a call for new energies in your life, a transformation of old thinking patterns and habits that have outlived their purpose. Your true self, characterized by a tendency to speak up against injustice, chattiness, and curiosity, needs the space to fully blossom. Financial independence from this challenging situation is urged by your higher self, along with a release from old toxic family dynamics and ingrained beliefs. Some of you might be dealing with codependency or enmeshment, and the path forward involves gaining freedom, both financially and emotionally. Your intuition has been guiding you, and your higher self wants you to embrace the steps necessary for your personal growth and liberation.

Pile 2

For those in Pile 2, it seems like there's a prevailing sense of lack of motivation in your life right now. You might be hindering your own growth by dimming your own light, lacking confidence in pursuing your true happiness, and hesitating to embark on the journey towards your desired future. You may have held yourself back and engaged in reckless behavior with a cloudy judgment. Your higher self encourages you to reflect on your desires and question whether they are genuinely aligned with your passions. There's a need to dream bigger and deeper, beyond merely seeking material wealth. It's crucial to focus on wishes that truly resonate with your happiness, irrespective of others' opinions. Your path is uniquely yours, and speaking up against those who try to impose their beliefs on you is necessary. Trusting yourself and the universe is vital for your genuine happiness. You cannot live your life for others, and your higher self urges you to believe in receiving what truly makes you happy. Unleashing the confidence you've suppressed is key to navigating your path and fulfilling your wishes. Standing up to those who may look down on you or judge your choices is part of asserting your authenticity. For many of you who might be spiritual in the midst of people heavily influenced by religion, it can be challenging. Your higher self wants you to notice where your true happiness lies, even if it means breaking away from societal expectations. Trusting that the universe will gift you what you deserve requires making the first step and committing to your heart's desires. As empaths, you might absorb others' energies and words deeply, taking them as your own. Your higher self advises you to protect yourself from negative energies, surround yourself with nature, and avoid isolating yourself. Dream big, Pile 2, and embrace the confidence and authenticity within yourself to pave the way for your genuine happiness.

Pile 3

For those in Pile 3, a prevailing sense of feeling heavily blocked is apparent. As intuitive, daydreamers, and emotional individuals, you may sometimes struggle to handle emotions appropriately, feeling inadequate or believing that obtaining your true desires is impossible. Your higher self emphasizes the need to balance feminine and masculine energies within you, recognizing the innate gifts that can manifest your desires. It's essential to understand that manifestation involves not only asking the universe but also playing an active role in achieving your goals. Believing in yourself and taking the required actions are crucial steps, followed by surrendering to the process. Trusting yourself and the universe is the first key. Many of you might be emotionally closed off, neglecting self-pouring. Your higher self encourages a focus on self-care—engaging in activities that bring joy, fulfillment, and calmness. Whether it's a walk in the park, enjoying your favorite drink, or any uplifting experience, prioritize actions that lift your spirits. Creative expression is emphasized for you—writing, drawing, dancing—anything that opens your heart and allows free expression. Past hurts may be weighing you down, causing you to view life with a half-empty perspective. However, your higher self reminds you that the universe holds endless love for you, and it's always available if you open yourself to receive it. Embrace the healing process that the universe is guiding you through, trust the path laid out for you, and never give up on yourself, your abilities, and the support of the universe.

#pick a card #tarot reading #pick a pile #tarot pac #intuitive reading #pick a card reading #intuitive readings #pac #pac reading #tarot

[nyanggk]

PICTURE PERFECT: PARK JAYS F*CK LIST — p. js

SYNOPSIS park jay is known around your campus as a resident fuck boy. him and his friends compete in a game wherein by the end of the year, they have to complete their fuck list in order to win, but what happens when jay meets a girl who can resist his charms?

PAIRING rugby player jay × art club member reader

GENRE smut with plot, highschool au, romance , enemies to lovers, romance comedy kinda

WARNING(S) profanity, dark humour, discrimination, dubcon, alcohol consumption, bullying, smut, dom/sub dynamics (sub!jay, dom!reader), making out, corruption, degradation, male masturbarion, oral, nude painting, bulge kink, marking

WC. 28k+

— this is suppsoed to be stereotypical, yes ㅠㅠ it isn't meant to be misogynistic. it's just the world I built them in. yn/I literally stated that this is her highschool and this is what she noticed. don't send asks if you're gonna go through with it with anonymous.

In all the years you spent dwelling inside the same old boring highschool, you've come to the conclusion that in every campus, there's always three breeds of people paying amongst you that seem to avoid the brink of extinction; the slutty cheerleaders, the attention seeking fangirls, the ones that annoy you, the varsity jocks.

These varsity players are your typical ball heads who have their minds wrapped around the game and only the game. They're one way ticket to college is their varsity scholarship and inevitably making the dull-witted excuse to throw away everything related to academics and instead, centering their focus on their balls. It's stereotypical for you to say that, you acknowledge that for sure, but you can't help but speak the truth as most, if not, all of them are the same.

Albeit, yes, these are the usual qualities found in these ball fondlers, but there's a different kind laying amongst these godforesaken creatures that's even more toxic, more abominable, and those are the varsity fuckboys. 

These varsity fuckboys are always entitled, period. There's never a day in their lives where they don't stop talking about their latest slutty agendas or how awestrickingly good they are at playing the game. It also doesn't really help how their fan base— which consists of ignorant, ovulating, and in heat females, not only throw compliments their way, but also themselves at every passing moment towards these good for nothing jocks. It's as if these people have lost all sense of their humanity and became objects that do nothing but lurk around the school grounds, waiting to be inserted with a schlong and become teenage mothers. 

Do they even have a sense of self respect anymore?

Going back on track, it's a great dismay that all these complimenting words go straight to their head, making it even bigger.

Shame that not one ounce of it went to their dicks.

In accordance to that, yearly, these pubescent rats participate in an event called "Picture Perfect" wherein they hand pick at least more than ten different names of those who study in their school who, by the end of the year, they have to "connect" with. They mix them inside a bowl and let each one of them draw one by one. Once that person has their own paper, they have a set of rules they have to follow;

disclaimer, as per everyone's agreement and preference, only girls will be put on the list.

1. For proof, take a picture of the girl in bed or wherever while the two of you are fucking.

2. Threesomes are allowed if both players have the same person on their list.

3. Varsity players with girlfriends can't participate— unless you're Jake. We don't want to be caught in your drama.

4. First one to complete their list is the winner.

5. Failure to comply with these rules will get you disqualified from the competition indefinitely.

With that said, they have the whole school year to finish this list. Now, a year may seem too long for some, however, with the mix of competitions and practices, there's only a handful of times in a week that these boys can have a day off and hunt for their prey.

No one remembers when this whole shenanigans started nor do they remember who started it, the only thing that matters is the game and who comes out on top. They take this seriously— too seriously, you think.

For the record, they say that this game is only for fun and that no one should take it all too seriously when they lose. The prize is an ego boost for christ sake so which logical person would try so hard in such an idiotic game? If that's what you thought then you're clearly a normal person with a normal thought process along with a naturally working brain. However, it's safe to say that if you think these boys we're even one bit of the word "normal," then you're completely wrong because these ball players have rugby balls for brain cells and will do everything they can to win; showing off is a big enough prize for them to try their hardest.

A rugby team is normally composed of fifteen players. However, for this year, there will only be a total of 9 participants as the other six already either have girlfriends that they were strongly committed to— unlike Sim Jake who changed girlfriends more often than he showered, or like Riki and Jungwon who were still too young to be doing any funny business, and like Sunoo who didn't want to participate in some pathetic child's play. 

Moving on, one of the many other foolish participants in this wretched dog show is Park Jongseong, otherwise known as Jay amongst his peers and the students of Decelis High. It's his second year as an athlete playing rugby, meaning this year, it'll be his second time competing. As you can tell, he wasn't so lucky on his first try, barely getting pass three when he had ten on his check list, but this year, he's determined to do whatever it legally takes to come out on top.

"Alright, dickheads!" Their captain, Lee Heeseung, calls out. 

Currently, all the willing participants are sitting around a mess of multiple chairs and tables merged together as they busy themselves with writing the names for the person who'll draw their paper.

"Times up. Pass your papers." Heeseung commands with folded arms, impersonating a teacher who's instructing their students. He fetches a clear bowl and gestures for all nine members to put their papers in. Shaking the bowl, he continues on saying, "Now, as last year's winner, I strongly advise all of you to have fun and not take things overboard."

"Aw c'mon, Cap," Jay mocks in a whine. "You know everyone takes this game seriously, don't you?"

Heeseung rolls his eyes, shaking the bowl in circles. "I know but I'm still obligated to say that so I won't be involved in the fallout when one of you idiots decide to do something stupid, again." He says, eyeing Choi Beomgyu from across the table. All the puppy-faced boy does is smile at his coach sheepishly, earning snickers and nudges from the people around him as he scratches the back of his head guiltily.

Last year, Beomgyu took the game a little too seriously. It was already his third year in the rugby team and he still hasn't won. He felt antsy, wanting to experience the glory of winning, and so, knowing that Heeseung was in the lead, he did whatever he could to stop him from finishing his list. He hid the girls from the other, he told them he had aids, that he cums too fast, that he likes being treated like a dog in bed, and a whole lot more dumb shit just to keep Heeseung from winning. But all his efforts were inevitably for nothing as by the time winter break was over, Heeseung had won, laying out all the pictures he took of his one night stands out on the table at lunchtime with a cocky smirk plastered across his perfect face.

One by one, the boy's take their turns fishing for a piece of paper inside the bowl. As Jay grasps his own in the palm of his hands, he takes a look at the others' expressions when they open their own checklist. 

Some cheered and some winced. Seeing the latter made Jay's confidence run through the roof, thinking that he was so lucky that he already had the upper hand on the others without having to even take a look at his own paper.

"Mark Lee?!" Choi Yeonjun screams in outrage. "Bitch! Is this even allowed?!" He genuinely asks in an outraged tone, however, the others just simply burst out laughing at his predicament, not providing him with a coherent answer.

"Cap?" He calls out to the younger, voice pleading. 

Heeseung sighs out seemingly tired of the whole ordeal as he pinches the bridge of his sharp nose, scrunching his eyebrows together. "I'll change it on my own, hyung." He assures the older in a low tone, making it so that Yeonjun was the only person who got to hear what he said.

"I thought we agreed on keeping it strictly to girls?" He said, crossing his arms once again and repeatedly tapping his feet on the ground to show his annoyance. "So, which idiot was it?"

At that question, continuous screams of denial and bursts of cackling laughter erupt, occupying the small room, but Jay tunes them all out as his eyes zero onto the lack of names written on his checklist. His eyebrows knit together in confusion as usually there were at least ten different names listed on every checklist because everyone wanted to make it harder for the person who drew it. However, his list only had one.

Although writing less than ten names isn't against the rules, it's certainly out of the ordinary as he doubts anyone on his team had a heart made of gold and be that merciful.

Before he could tear his eyes away from the paper though, he caught sight of a note written beside it.

1. YN — goodluck on this one bro ;) tell me how getting pegged feels like, I kinda wanna try it soon.

Looking at the note with a mix of confusion and disgust, Jay wonders why this girl seemed so unfamiliar. 

In all his years spent in the same school, he's never heard of anyone with that name before. Granted, he doesn't usually pay attention to anyone other than the boys, much less try to remember the names of the girls he fucks around with in school. He thinks they're all irrelevant and are just getting close to them because they want the attention and fame being the girlfriend— or even an acquaintance, of a varsity player gives them. But the thing is, for the sake of the competition, he has to know who you are, however, no matter how far back in his memories he searches, he still can't seem to remember who that girl is. 

Eventually his curiosity takes over and asks "Who's YN?" while showing them his list and gesturing towards the only name written on it.

Hearing his question, the chattering stops and their gazes focus on the tip of Jay's finger. Jake is the one that answers his question, the rest of them stare with their mouths slightly agape. "You don't know YN? From the art club?"

When all Jay does is shake his head, the boys stare at him in a mix of wonder and shock, baffled by how oblivious the boy is when it comes to you. 

"Dude, how do you not know YN?" Park Sunghoon asks in disbelief. Jay only shrugs at him in reply, wondering what the big deal about this girl was. 

"Bro, Jay, whoever wrote YN down is absolutely bad-shit crazy. I got her on my list last year and she was the fucking reason I lost." Choi Soobin says, groaning. "I was so close to winning as well!" He bursts out, slumping on the back of his chair as he pouts.

Everyone knows about the rugby team's yearly antics and you're ashamed to say that nearly everyone is ecstatic whenever that time of the year comes— especially the whores. It gives them the not so once in a lifetime chance to sleep with the hottest varsity player on campus.  

However, as the loner with one singular friend that you are, you'd like to say that you're different from everyone else— and you are not saying that so you could be the IRL version of YN from a Wattpad book made in 2013. You don't feel excitement coursing through your veins when the year starts. Your panties don't drop at the sight of them all sweaty and dirty while practicing. You don't try to manifest your name to be on the list so they could flirt with you, get in your pants, and then leave you cold and naked when they get what they want. They're just boys who can play one filthy sport, what's so mind blowing about that?

You hate rugby. It's not just some petty thing, you despise it with your whole mind, body, and soul. You can't ever stand that sport and you hate the fact that all school funds go to that dumb piece of shit and not your precious art club. If only your school treated the art club the same way they sucked that god forsaken sports dick off then maybe— no, not maybe, then for sure, your school would have much more elegance.

God! Just saying the word "rugby" makes your tongue bitter. Not to mention, the players! They're just horrendous; full of pride, ego, and everything bad. You just can't stand breathing in the same air.

So last year, when misfortune dawned upon you and they had the audacity to involve you in their wretched game, you blew up; like a volcano waiting to burst and set fire to the whole nation. 

That year, Kang Taehyun, a rugby jock, approached you and started shamelessly flirting with you while you were having a peaceful time replicating the Mona Lisa. You erupted into a fit of anger and threw your palette covered with fresh paint onto his white varsity jacket. 

Every single member of the rugby team wore that shit everywhere they possibly could. It's as if to show his underlings that he is superior. You knew it was for their weird Picture Perfect event, that's why you acted in such a barbaric way. And for the record, you regret none of it— not even when you got sent to the principal for a 3 hour scolding session.

You know who that boy is. His name is Park Jongseong and he's in the same year as you, meaning that you get to see him too many times a week for your liking. Why such a strong distaste for the boy you ask? Oh, that's because you already know what breed the scoundrel is. If that jersey wrapped around his lean body doesn't scream jock to you then you don't know what else. 

Word around campus spreads fast so even though you detested hearing useless gossip, you're somewhat thankful that Liz is such a chatterbox because through her, you're able to know who everyone is in the first few months of school. Truthfully, you have yet to decide whether this trait of hers should be considered as a con or not. For example, last year, she had the bright idea of telling you that Park Sunghoon slept with a 40 year old milf, offering to spill you the rest of the details— not like she knew what the word 'milf' meant. She just tells you whatever new story she hears. Needless to say, you didn't want to hear any other features of that story. So, you weren't surprised when you caught sight of one of them throwing curious glances your way on one Monday morning whilst you were talking to your best friend, Liz, in front of your locker. 

It annoyed you how he was looking at you and it made your skin crawl. Already, you could feel waves of nauseous chills skimming down your spine, making you shudder as no doubt that if he continues, your breakfast is going to spill to the floor. You could only guess that he's interested in you because you're on his list and that he's trying to make a move on you. 

Before, you were used to them glancing at you out of curiosity. It's a normal thing to do when you see someone pretty on campus, but no one ever made a move to introduce themselves. Truth be told, these guys never messed with you until last year, when they found you're a hard girl to get with. 

If your hunch is correct and you're in fact on the list once again then you could only wish him good luck because you aren't interested.

To you, the boy throws what looks to be a constipated looking smile your way and your lips tug further down in a frown, suddenly feeling your stomach get upset. 

Although taken aback by your expression, Jay ignores it and persists to throw a charming smile your way, this time adding a small wave— both of which you turn down, only replying with the same frown on your face as you bore holes on his face with your so-called "resting bitch face." His face falters when he realises that you've indirectly turned down his gesture, scratching the back of his head in concealed embarrassment as he turns back to his group of friends as if nothing happened.

"Why's that psycho looking at me?" You ask, cutting Liz off on her rant and nudging your head towards where the guy stood.

Liz follows your stare and without warning, she squeals, jumping in place with excitement when he catches sight of the boy. "Oh my gosh, YN! Jay was looking at you?!"

With your face scrunched up in disgust, you look at your lifeline and wonder if it's too late to change friends because if it isn't, you'd pick that snot covered geek with braces back in 3rd grade any day. 

"Oh don't look at me like that." She says, slapping your arm. "He is totally your type!" 

Gagging, your gastric reflexes are about to show you just how displeased your whole body is with that sentence. "My type?! What do you mean by 'my type'?! Whatever my type is, it is certainly not that!" You say, repeatedly making frustrated air quotes whenever you say the word 'my type.'

"He is! Look," She persists, tangling her arms with yours and pulling you to gaze at where Jay stood. "Nice jawline, feminine and cat-like eyes, pretty lips, prominent nose, and last but certainly not the least, look at that stunning birthmark on his neck! Don't tell me you don't want to lick that." She dares on.

Now, you're ashamed. Where have you gone wrong in raising your best friend and how did she become such a disgusting simp?! 

To some extent, you suppose she is quite right. Usually, guys like him would be your type. If only that varsity jacket wasn't wrapped around his body then maybe, just maybe, you would've shot your shot by now. To them, that jacket signifies authority, fame, and an excessive amount of self importance. One glance at these arrogant motherfuckers and you already know they're narcissistic and my God, you hate it.

The first ring of the school bell finally pulls you out of your murderous glare, eyes diverting from the annoying jock and moving towards your schedule instead. You sigh gratefully once you see that your first class is literature. Not only is literature class the only subject you enjoy, you also like to think that teaching students the power of words and poetry brings back some of your schools integrity.

With Liz, you travel towards the classroom with your hand possessively trapped in hers. Liz likes physical touch and even though you aren't the kind to be touchy with anyone, you'll let a few of your principles be set aside for your dearest best friend. 

Your face stays neutral and observing while the boy, supposedly named as Jay, takes the seat beside yours. He ignores the complaints of your blonde headed friend as if she wasn't even there. He continues to pay no heed to Liz and when she realises he won't be moving any time soon, your friend leaves with a hmph and stomps towards the seat right behind yours. 

As you enter the room, you tell Liz to pick a seat somewhere near the front and beside the windows. She nods, understanding your love for the subject and setting aside her dislike so you could have fun.

You sigh comfortably in satisfaction as you skim your hands on the newly polished face of your desk, only to be disrupted later on when you hear your friend shouting in a pouty way. 

Sulking, Liz taps at your back, hoping to get some of your attention and to her delight, you turn your head towards her while your front is in Jays view. Ignoring the feeling of his eyes blatant stare at your neck, you focus on whatever gossip Liz tells you, humming and nodding every now and then to show her that you were listening. 

No matter how long you and Liz have been talking, Jays fixation on you doesn't waver, only intensifying within the passing moments. Jay stares at every crevice of your body that's shown. Your neck and the exposed skin of your collarbone is what draws Jay in; pretty and plush, making it so nice to look at. Each muscle clenches as you continue to crane your neck towards your friend and it only takes his mind into a deeper frenzy, thoughts occupied with your skin and the desire to touch it. The boys mouth somewhat begins to salvate, making him take a loud gulp as he feels himself grow hotter and flustered. 

Knowing how much he's been ogling at you while you're just there striking simple pose, he finds himself kind of embarrassing in this situation as he's never been one to be so easily riled up. But what can he do? it's something his body can't help but feel and the worse thing is, you weren't even doing any of it on purpose. It's all in his mind and Jay can only blame his teenage hormones for the fantasies it's creating.

Eventually, the boys strong fixation on you gets disrupted by your movements, pulling him out of his trance as now, instead of craning your neck and semi twisting your body to talk to your friend, he's met with your judging and questioning gaze. You continue to stare at Jay, cocking your eyebrows up as if to question whether he had anything to say. Still awestruck, the boy fails to form anything coherent and as a result of being caught, his cheeks start to flare up a sweet pinkish colour, one that you would've cooed at if he wasn't who he is.

Now, you're annoyed as while Liz is playing on her phone, there's an annoying jock sitting beside you. You huff feeling the symptoms of boredom spread through you. Picking up your pencil, you opt to scribble on your sketchpad, the small flower that laid idly on your table becoming your muse.

You were too busy sketching when out of the blue, you hear a deep voice speak up from beside you, ruining the serenity you've made for yourself.

"Life is the flower for which love is the honey, don't you think?" The man beside you cites, trying to mimic a poet citing his own poem. He picks up the small flower that strayed on top of your desk with his nimble fingers and gives it to you with the same smile he showed you prior to this moment. "It's a quote from Shakespeare. Have you heard of it?"

'This is it.' He thought in his head, thinking that since you were into art and literature, you were probably screaming on the inside right now because of Jays romantic gesture. He watched you as you eye the flower in his hands, his ego swelling with pride thinking that he's won you over. You repeatedly look back between his face and the flower before heaving out a small sigh. He watches your face morph into the most charming smile Jay had ever seen and at that moment, the boy felt something tugging on his heart strings. 

In awe of your beaming beauty, he sat frozen on his seat as you leaned closer to Jay, taking the small flower in your hands. His breath couldn't help but hitch at the slightest contact of your fingers brushing against his as he continued to stare at you in wonder as you inspected the flower, twirling it between your long fingers.

"That's sweet, Jay." You compliment, looking at the said boy. He struggles to maintain eye contact with you, once again feeling overwhelmingly hot under your gaze— not to mention the way his name rolled out so smoothly out of your mouth. "But…" Dragging out the word, you leave Jay in suspense.

He's at the edge of his seat as waits for you to continue, cheeks flaring up as you smile at him with such a sickening amount of sweetness. Jay thinks you're going to finally flirt back at him. That all his friends' words were untrue and in reality, you're actually just a shy tsundere. 

But Jay was proven wrong when you pressed the flower between your fingers, crushing it with little to no thought. "...That's from Hugo, not Shakespeare. I suggest you get your facts straight before you try to get inside my pants." You finish.

The sweet moment between the two of you ended the moment those words left your mouth and pierced its way through Jay's confidence. With your eyes, you dared for him to retaliate, but just like how you expected, Jay was too embarrassed that his brain couldn't even process what was happening. Gone was the pretty smile that Jay's so head over heels for as now, an annoyed expression falls upon your features— a complete one-eighty in just a span of five seconds. 

"Also, do me a favor and leave me out of your dumb fucking game."

After that, Jay was too ashamed to stay in your presence. So, wanting to keep the rest of his dignity, he left with his head bowed down. The action prohibited you from seeing his reddened face which he was thankful for. Instead, he made his way towards the back of the class and picked a seat a few chairs behind you, making it so that he could still watch you freely from afar without your knowledge.

For the sake of his pride, he tried to think that he only left because class was starting and because he didn't want to be stuck in the same seat when he's done doing his business with you. However, he knows those words were all lies— a way for him to deny his blossoming feelings.

Jay can't seem to understand how you made his heart pound so hard, ear deafening from the relentless beats that was orchestrated by your mere presence. He's not one to blush like an idiot in front of someone and he's certainly not one to feel like his heart had been thrown until beaten and battered by one negative gesture. You make him feel something foreign, something he's never felt before in his life. It scares him in a way; not being able to put into words how he's feeling. There's something about the way you feel so strongly disgusted by him that makes him want to provoke you even more, wanting to see more ways you'll respond. He sees the fire crackling behind your eyes whenever he looks at you so why is it that even though he knows he'll get burnt, he's still dying to touch you? 

There's clearly something wrong with him.

He knows it's unhealthy; wanting to get closer to you when you clearly don't like him, but he can't help it. He's drawn to you in some mind consuming type of way and he's willing to do anything just to get an ounce of your attention. 

His feelings are still confusing to him because just hours ago, his mind was so enveloped in winning, willing to do whatever it takes just to have you in bed and get the glory he so despretely wants. But now that he's gotten a glimpse of what it's like to be occupied by you, the objective has changed. It's not about the game anymore because fuck the game. Right now, he couldn't give a shit about winning— okay, maybe a just little bit. 

Of course, he still has the game to thank for introducing you to him and he still wants to rub his victory onto his teammates' face like Heeseung did when he won. But right now, all he wants is to have you.

It's your second month back in school and Jay hasn't let a single moment in literature class pass by without him trying to get on your nerves. It seems as if God has put your morals to the test because each time he opens his mouth, your hand seemed to itch for some impact, preferably on someones face.

His routine would always be to sit beside you when class hasn't started yet, try and build up a conversation with you in which you'd reply with something dry, he'd ignore it and continue to talk about his day whether it would be about practice, rugby, or just how his day went in general, and then go back to his permanent seat when the bell rings.

If you're being honest, in the past you would've been so dejected, disgusted, and nauseated by the fact that you're even within five metres in range of one of them.

When have you gone wrong in raising yourself and where have your principals gone?

Granted, if the opportunity to get rid of him ever came, would you still take it?

They're still insufferable, you know that for sure. But after finding out that no matter how hard you try and kick Paek Jay out of your life, there's no reason to keep trying anymore and that you've completely given up. You've tried everything you could imagine just to steer away from him. There was no way in hell that you'd ever change classes so instead, you opted to convince the boy to work his magic and change classes and go somewhere, preferably, far far far away from you. But of course, as you can tell, that didn't work. There was also a time where you tried to ignore him in hopes of him finally giving up, however, to no avail, he was persistent and didn't relent. You've also begged Liz to not let Jay switch seats with her before class, but to your luck, your best friend seems to have her mind wrapped in the fantasy that you and Jay are just perfect for eachother.

She kept on giving you the reason that God would bring her back as cockroach if she got in the way of your blossoming love. So believe me when I say, you've tried it all. 

"Hey, YN." He greets cooly, casually sliding in Liz's seat. Already used to it, your friend just shrugs, momentarily switching seats with the boy as she knows that he'll eventually switch back.

Without turning your head to face him, you only reply with a hum, respectfully acknowledging him despite your dislike.

Jay ignores your clear lack of interest before he heaves out a deep loud sigh. He throws his head back, adam's apple protruding at the middle of his throat as you peek at him brushing his hair back.

It's hot. He's hot. But you bury that feeling deep down, shaking the thought away. You return your focus towards where your phone lay in the middle of your desk. The screen opens, a quiet beep catching your attention. You were about to ignore it, suddenly feeling too tired to socialise, but to your dismay, it doesn't only catch your attention but also of the man sitting beside you. 

"Mrs. Hwang sent you a message, YN." He informs you, head now resting comfortably on your desk. "Should I open it?"

He leans over towards your side, an arm sliding on top of your desk, resting in front of you while the other rests behind you, on top of your seat like a boyfriend trying to gatekeep his girlfriend. You would've tried shaking him off if you weren't aware of the fact that he would put it back either way. His head is right next to yours as he eyes the message on your phone and you can't help but catch a whiff of the delightful scent of his shampoo. Trying to stay composed, you sit idly in your seat as you watch Jay scan through the notification on your lock screen as if it was his own.

You scoff in disbelief, rolling your eyes to feign annoyance. "No, gimme that." You say, snatching the phone away from his view.

Pouting, Jay sits up from his seat, suddenly feeling more invasive than usual as he rests his head on top of your shoulder to watch you reply to the message your art teacher had sent you. Feeling vexed, you shrug your shoulders harshly, trying to shake Jay off of you only to fail. After multiple times of trying to take him off, you finally heave out a defeated sigh, gathering all the composure you have left in your body to not beat him up. Eventually coming to terms at the fact that Jay isn't going to let you have your own space, you accept your fate and let him stay there as you tap your fingers on the screen of your phone to answer your teachers request.

Mrs Hwang (Art Teacher): YN, we still don't have a male muse for the portrait project tomorrow. Do you mind asking some friend of yours to volunteer?

Is she insane or just totally oblivious? Everyone knows you're an art geek loner. You're already thankful to have one friend permanently stuck to your hip so, when did she ever get the impression that you had more?

"Ooh, looking for a male muse?" You jump at the sudden voice, completely forgetting the boy that laid on your shoulder against your will. 

"Can you stop meddling with other peoples businesses?" You say, now feeling actually annoyed because you have to worry about having to find a muse for your art class. It's not even like you can say no as well. Your teacher loves and adores you. At this point, she treats you like her own kid because she acknowledges the drive you have to share your painting with the world. She also said that she'd be happy to offer you an internship with one of her fancy artist friends once you're done with school and you just can't mess up your chances.

Ignoring your clear irritation, Jay continues, "I can be your muse." He suggests, smirking. 

"In your dreams, Jongseong." You say clicking your tongue whilst not meeting his eyes.

"Hey!" Jay exclaims. "I told you to call me Jay not Jongseong." He presses on, tone persistent as he leans his face closer in order to persuade you. However, you don't give him an ounce of your attention, refusing to give him the satisfaction. And so, he chases you, body unconsciously pressing onto your side while he busies himself. Amidst your teasing, you don't realise this either, too busy trying to suppress the grin fighting to form between your lips.

Your playfulness lasts for a few more moments before Jay finally grunts out in defeat, letting his head fall on top of your desk with a thud. "YN, look at me." He whines like a child.

Rolling your eyes as you heave out what seemed to Jay as a deep and tired sigh, you finally turn your face to look at him. A deadpan expression is on your face as you await his next actions. Seeing that you've finally given in to his request, Jay feels his stomach start to flutter, tickling him and making him feel bubbly. The smile on his face is adorable, pleased that he's victorious and this time, you fail to keep the corners of your lips from twitching upwards.

Even your laugh is beautiful to him and he can't help but want to hear more. He's tempted to crack a joke or do something dumb in order to push you over the edge and reveal more of the amazing sounds that comes out of your mouth. But he decides against it, thinking that instead of making you laugh, he might overstep his boundaries and ruin his chance with you— well, that's him thinking he has one.

Seeing a genuine version of your smile is what sets Jays heart into a frenzy, a billion flutters that set his heart soaring through the roof. Flustered, Jay ducks his head in an attempt to hide his giddiness from you. However, he inevitably fails when he hears a chuckle escape from your mouth. His head shoots up, eyes wide and unbelieving. His heart seemed to have accelerated faster than what he could imagine, face now burning a deep red.

Clearing his throat while fixing his blazer, he resumes. "I'll be your muse." He says, tone trying to show you that his decision is final.

"No, Jay." Despite being delighted that you've used his prefered name like he's asked you too, he still frowns. Again, his pout is adorable and you almost want to give in and let him take on the job.

"But, why?" He whines, shaking defiantly in his seat. "I'll be a great muse!"

Notwithstanding, you roll your eyes for what seemed like the umpteenth time this whole interaction. "I said no." You say firmly as if commanding the boy. 

His adorable pout turns into a bigger frown upon being rejected. However, the expression doesn't stay for long before it morphs into one you can only assume as mischievous as his plump lips turn into a plotting smirk, eyes gleaming with playfulness.

Seeing that, you squint your eyes at him, brows furrowing as you try to depict what's behind that look. "I swear to god, Jay. If you're planning something…" 

"What? I'm not doing anything." In contradiction to his words, his face tells you that he is plotting something. If it isn't the way his smirk doesn't relent and the way his eyes still bask in the same glint, it's the way he finishes his reply with a teasing tone, clearly choosing to defy you despite your clear warning.

You were about to call him out on his actions when you're suddenly being cut off by the bell ringing and not even a second later, Jay is pushing back his seat and striding towards his own. With his hands in his pockets, there's not a doubt in your mind that he's still wearing the same smug look as he sits down on his seat. You eye him from afar and when he notices this, he gives you a curt nod, brows rising upwards as if to ask you if you needed anything as he grinned.

Why are you so against Jay being the art clubs muse, you ask?

Truthfully, you should've been ecstatic to find out that Jay, one of the hottest guys on campus— Liz's words, not yours, wanted to volunteer. So why are you prohibiting him from doing so?

Is it because you only want the two of you's interactions to strictly be inside this classroom and nowhere else? No, not really. Is it because you're ashamed to be seen by your other club members being associated with his type? Deep down, you know that's not true. In fact, you're sure that when Jay steps inside your club, he'll be bombarded by his female art geek admirers and you'll be thrown aside and forgotten. Maybe, that's what you're opposed of; having to share him with other people.

Does this mean that you're jealous? No, no, no, it can not be that. It can't possibly be that. If you're jealous, then that means you like him and you know you do not like him. In fact, he can go ahead and be a brat and ignore what you said. He can walk in there tomorrow and be crowded with fangirls and you won't even bat an eye.

If you see one person tugging on his blazer one more time, you swear to every God up there that you're going to commit a vital sin and you can only pray that they forgive you. You hate to admit it, but your right eye is twitching. Not just once, not twice, but every time some random person touches him and it's infuriating you— both the fact that someone's touching him and the fact that your eye is twitching without your consent.

Again, you're not jealous.

There you stood with your arms crossed over each other, away from the small crowd that had formed around Jay. Your back is pressed against an empty wall as you watch them gush about how hot he is, how handsome he looks, how great his physique is. It all makes you scoff, clicking your tongue as you look out of the window in annoyance after you see the smirk that paints Jays lips when he sees the annoyed expression on your face.

Despite practically being mobbed and having every female member of your art club pressed against him, his eyes are on you and there's not a single doubt in your mind that he's doing this to set you off.

The girl in front of him catches his attention when she suddenly throws herself at him. Jay only chuckles before his eyes flicker towards you and you swear a light bulb just lit up beside his head.

The excited girl starts talking animatedly at him and he makes it look like he's invested in what she's saying. He even did that panti dropping move where he swayed her hair back behind her ear. Afterwards, he looked for you, a cocky smile painted across his features, knowing full well that he did that to get a rise out of you.

He's certainly loving the attention, isn't he?

Despite your prohibitions, that hard headed motherfucker still had the nerve to come. Hence, why you have a permanent scowl on your face.

The moment Jay introduced himself as your friend and that you've brought him here as todays muse, you knew you were in for a fun time— note the sarcasm. To Jay, this must be all fun and rainbows, but to you, this is hell on earth. Admittedly, you're embarrassed to be caught with the likes of him, especially when you've vocalised time and time again how much you hate people like him. Yet, here you are, watching your art teacher usher everyone to take their seats in front of their easels while Jay sits on a sturdy table placed at the centre, posing attractively with his hands resting behind him on the table as he leans backwards. His gaze is pretty and somewhat intimidating to look at from an outsiders point of view, his lips sitting comfortably in its normal pout. 

Abiding by your teachers words, you sit on your own chair and surprise surprise, it's placed right in front of him. Jay didn't know that that was your assigned seat, but seeing so, his lips had a mind of their own as no matter how hard he tried to stay still like how your teacher had asked him to be, the corners of his mouth still tinged upwards. 

Already accustomed to Jays teasing antics, you only heave out a tired sigh, shaking your head in defeat as you pick up your pencil. 

Might as well draw him while you're at it, right? 

Truth be told, it has been a while since you've drawn someone, so you wonder how you'd do and surprisingly, you're good at it. It was scary at first, feeling nervous that you might mess up, however, the longer your pencil drags on top of your paper, the more you feel at ease. Drawing someone as pretty as Jay made you appreciate the finer things in life; the way his nose stood ever so perfectly at the center of his face, how his collarbone peaked through the shirt he wore, how his hair seemed to have been placed perfectly without effort, and lastly, the way his body looked so inviting despite being covered. All of that combined with the natural lighting of the sunset peeking through the glass windows made everything so much more appealing. Using the excuse of drawing him, you hide between the mask you wore in order to not seem like a hunter salivating for its prey as you continue to draw the guidelines for your portrait.

"I didn't know you had friends on the varsity team." 

Turning your head, you come face to face with An Yujins annoying smirk plastered on what you could only assume is her face. Most of the time, you can't really tell if it's her ass or her face that's in front of you because she pushes both onto any guys face. You didn't even notice that she was sitting beside you until she opened her mouth, too preoccupied with sketching the greek god in front of you to care about her existence. 

She's the definition of an ugly jealous slutty cheerleader that wants everything nice for herself. You don't even have a single clue why she's part of your club nor how she's still in it since she rarely ever attends. To add to that, you've never seen her pass a single one of her projects. 

Above all the days in the week she could've chosen to come, she just had to go today and see you with the one and only varsity fuck boy. 

"Well, to be honest, I'm surprised you have any friends at all."

People like her are the type to make fun and point their fingers at you for wearing your grandmas hand knitted sweaters and they're just the worst! Seriously, how can someone hate something made by someones old grandma?! The audacity these people hold still baffle you to this day, although not as much as before. 

Through the years, Yujin seemed to have grown a liking for you. A liking you never asked for nor wanted. You had no idea why but she just loved to make fun of you every chance she got. It didn't matter how petty she looked nor did it ever matter to you when she tried to belittle you with rude comments and backhanded banter. Honestly, you're more upset at the fact that her jokes were never funny. If it was, you'd laugh, no matter if it was supposed to offend you because hey, if it's funny, it's funny. For instance, yesterday, she made fun of you for wearing your reading glasses, saying that you looked like you're an old maths teacher who's either widowed or divorced. A week ago, she caught you eating a chocolate bar in front of your locker while you were casually minding your own business with Liz and she told you how fat you were getting. You were about to tell her to get lost when Liz decided to fight back and told her that she had more fat rolls than Fat Amy. That little firecracker! Ugh, you just love her to bits.

In the early days, you would fire back at her mercilessly, coming up with the wittiest of replies, but before you knew it, you grew up. Suddenly, you felt spent. You got tired of the whole cat and mouse bickering and for once, you turned your life upside down and chose to be mature. That didn't seem to have sat well with Yunjin though as from then on, her attempt to torment you went from every so often to very often. Of course, being the strong and independent woman that you are, you never took any of her insults to heart— not like they offended you either way. You simply ignored her or told her to get lost and that you weren't interested. Obviously, she gets angry but being the pussy that she is, you knew she was never going to get into anything physical with you because if she did, she'd lose in an instant. With that lanky ass body of hers, even your four year old sister can.

So, wanting nothing to do with the likes of her, you divert your attention back to the hunk of a man that sat in front of you. However, you're greeted with a different expression than before as now, his brows are furrowed with wonder and question. He looks at you silently, his eyes somewhat shining thinly with jealousy and betrayal while his normal pout drags down into a frown as if to ask how you could take your eyes off of him when he's laid out in front of you so deliciously.

"Mr. Park, please refrain from moving your face." Your art teacher asks.

Jay replies with a grunt at being told off before he looks up front. He lets out a satisfied hum when he sees that your eyes have found their way back to him, now happily resting them back in their previous form. 

After that small fiasco, Jay tried his hardest from then on not to move. He didn't want to cause any more commotion and make you fuck up the portrait you were drawing of him. He wanted to see how well you sketched him later on when the session was done.

Staying still for an hour proved to be harder than he thought, especially when your eyes looked so deeply at every part of him. After a torturous ten minutes of you looking at every detail of his face, he's fought and lost to the blush that persistently wanted to make its way up his cheeks when he saw you eyeing the skin of his throat. Correct him if he's wrong but he swears he can see the way your eyes fire up after he took a huge gulp. The way you were staring every time his adams apple bobbed or when the muscles on his neck flexed made him even more flustered. 

He fought the urge to recoil with every feeling of you overwhelming him in such a public scene, suppressing the sexual thoughts that clouded his mind. You were doing nothing but what you were asked to do, so why does he feel so bothered by something he's supposed to be used to? Girls staring at him is a normal occurance to Jay, but for some reason, you make him feel overwhelmed.

Jay is terrible at concealing his thoughts and it's apparent in the way he avoids eye contact that you're the reason behind it. Seeing just that, you try to hide the egotistic smirk that’s on your face, not wanting to stand out amongst your peers. In an attempt to recollect yourself, you intake a hefty breath before rolling your shoulders back to loosen your tensed muscles before going back to work on adding shadows onto your portrait.

From then on, the minutes passed by staring at you. I mean, what else was he supposed to do? It kept him preoccupied and it gave him the excuse to stare back at you; the way your brows furrowed together in concentration, the way you pout whenever he assumes you made a wrong stroke, heck, he even longed to crane his neck to the side so he can see more of the way your fingers wrapped elegantly around your pencil. Everything about you seemed so enchanting to him, captivating him and encasing him in your prison. He's addicted to having more of you and he's driven to have just that because one way or another, Park Jay always gets what he wants.

The hour soon then passed and before he could even grasp what was happening, your teacher's already patting him on the back, telling him how good he did. 

As asked, you all lean your canvases on an empty wall, awaiting for your teachers evaluation as the others compare their respective portraits with each others. Jay was told by your teacher he could leave if he wanted, but like he said earlier, he wanted to have a look at your portrait. So, he declined. 

Jay never had any interest in art and poetry, but since meeting you, he feels like a whole new person. Never in his lifetime did he have to search the web for romantic poems nor has he ever awed when looking at someones canvas and yet, here he is. Everything he's doing is foreign, like the way you make him feel. And as he continues to stare at the portrait you drew of him, he's once again in awe of you. He can't help but wonder how someone can be so perfect doing something they're passionate about. 

Folding your arms, you stand next to Jay, patiently waiting for his feedback because after all, he is your muse. "So," You start, palms pressing onto your thigh to wipe off the thin layer of sweat forming. "How'd I do?"

The boy jumps. He didn't notice you were there, standing beside him. "G-Good! Really good, actually." He answers, stuttering to blurt out an answer. Jays cheeks blush, feeling flustered.

Heaving out a sigh in relief, you chuckle at yourself, finding it funny how you were nervous for nothing.

Jay clears his throat, trying to compose himself before blurting out his next response. "You must've enjoyed looking at me a lot, huh?"

And just like that, the adorable smile on your face is wiped off, a frown replacing it. However, Jay isn't complaining because as much as he loves that cute smile on your face, he's just as deeply in love with the fire in your eyes whenever you get annoyed at him. He thinks your scowls are pretty, it makes him want to tease you more often and that's just what he does to you every single day after that.

The day he saw the way you scowled at him after he teased you, is the same day his heart seemed to have fallen for you. And along with his heart, came his body next as it seemed to have always yearned to be either close or next to you. 

That's why you never thought much of it. 

Since that fateful day, Jay has gotten even touchier than he already was. As time went by, it started to evolve from Jay poking his fingers at your sides for fun, to jumping you and taking you in for a hug whenever he sees you in the hallways. It was never romantic though and was always accompanied by a teasing glint. 

Granted, you did get angry every time he tried touching you, still deeming him as more of an acquaintance rather than a close friend. However, as moments pass, Jays repetitive routine of touching, teasing, and then annoying you became as normal as you and Liz walking to school together. Although you never asked for Jay to be in your life, there's no doubt that it'd feel incomplete without him.

Over the course of the months, you've developed an odd relationship for the boy. It kind of makes you reminisce of the time you and Yujin used to bicker. The difference is that Jays mischievousness always takes one of three forms; flirty pick-up lines, defiance, and lastly, clinginess. Out of the 3, you adore the first one the most and could make good riddance of the second. As for the last one, you're only left confused.

Jays pick-up lines are to die for. They're always either humourly cheesy or impeccably horny— both of which makes you double over laughing even when he hasn't finished his line yet.

"I'm not even playing cards right now and I pulled a queen." Jays triumphant grin is contagious and no matter how hard you hold back your laughter, you just can't— especially when Liz is cackling behind you.

"That's so stupid, Jay." You say, shaking your head. Contradicting your own words, your smile is evident and Jay can't get enough. So, he decides to tell you more, hoping to get the same, if not, a better reaction out of you.

"You know," He starts. "I'm like Nike and you're like McDonalds."

"Oh yeah?" Seeing the smirk on Jays face only makes your own grin grow wider as you await to complete his joke, already at the edge of laughter. "Why?"

Clearing his throat, he answers. "Because I'm just doing it and you're loving it."

"Oh my god." You sigh before covering your face to hide the guilty smile you wore while your giggles furiously try to break free. "Now, that's just you being horny Jay."

Wanting to see your bright face, Jay leans closer to your seat. He wraps his fingers around your wrist in an attempt to pull them away from your face, but to his dismay, you don't budge. "Let me see you~" He whines.

"No~" You drag, mimicking his tone. "That was so bad!" You press on, feeling a mix of frustration and disappointment in yourself for laughing at such a stupid pick-up line. 

"You clearly love it!" He exclaims, teasing you while leaning his face closer to yours despite it still being covered by your hands. "Now let me see you!"

"No, I don't." You fire back, pulling your hands away and looking at him. "But, tell me more."

Second, the boys defiance brings edge to his comical personality. Jay lives to see the enraged look on your face whenever he defies your simple orders and he'd never admit it to you himself, but that's what gets him going. 

At night, when he's all alone with his thoughts, his mind fills with scenes of him under you, begging for mercy. With all the authority you like to show, there's not a single hint of doubt in his mind that you like being in control, and he's willing to give you just that. Above all the women he's been with, you've repeatedly brought out a side of him that even he was heedless of— and this isn't any different.

Laying with his chest up and back pressed onto the soft fabric of his mattress, Jays breath quickens as he pushes himself to dive deeper into his fantasy. The thought consists of you and only you. With his hands dragging across the wide of his chest, he imagines it's your long and slender ones and not his. He drools at the possible feeling of your nails scratching on his body, making him release a quivered breath. 

Already feeling the pent up frustration building up in his boxers, he pushes his hair back before groping his hardening dick. He presses the palm of his hand directly on it, teasing himself as he envisions the proud look on your face as you watch him crumble under your supposed touch. 

"Fuck this." He concludes before pushing himself off of the mattress. Reaching beside him to open his bedside drawer, he grabs something he usually only uses for desperate times.

Jay gets bitches. So, there's simply no need for pocket pussies and fleshlights. But there'll come a time in a varsity players life where sleeping around is simply impossible to do. When schedules are pact with classes he has to attend to, practices he has to participate in, and rugby matches he has to win, there's just no time to be flirting. So, he bought a fleshlight just to solve that predicament.

Leaning back and getting comfortable on his bed, Jay leans against the headboard and quickly shakes off his pajamas, lifting his hips up in the process. Once that was off, he watched as his cock lay tensed and angry on top of his stomach, ready for any sort of pleasure. Already feeling impatient, Jay spurts a good amount of lube inside the toy and afterwards, he spits on it, letting the lube mix with his own lubricant. 

Feeling his breath growing faster as the excitement grows, Jay brings the toy closer to his dick. His mouth salivates, anticipating the pleasure that's yet to come. "Shit, YN. Just give it to me already." He says as he imagines you teasing him, lining the toy close to his dick.

Finally taking the whole skin of his leaking head inside, Jay releases a cross between a broken moan and a satisfied groan before taking all of his dick inside it all at once. Immediate pleasure fills the boys consciousness as he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth to suppress himself from moaning too loud. It's been too long since he's had any sort of pleasure from anything, mind too caught up in your existence. Not to mention the fact that he literally only wants you and no one else. After Jay found out that his feelings for you were growing more intimate than he'd like to, he tried his hardest to get hard for someone else. 

The boy has never had a crush on anyone and naturally, he felt scared— both at the unknown and the possibility of being rejected. So, he went out to parties, tried to hook up with the usual sluts around campus. But whenever someone other than you touches him in any sort of provocative way, his mind just shuts down and his body starts reacting in a negative way. What used to be Jays favorite pastime now became his worst enemy because from then on, Jay couldn't think of having sex with anyone other than you. Soon enough, Jay accepted the fact that he can never have someone better than you. You've never even flirted with Jay yet his mind is already creating scenarios of the two of you together. 

That's when he started working harder to get close to you because maybe, just maybe, if he played his cards right, you might end up liking him back. It doesn't even have to be on the same heights as his feelings for you. If he succeeds and you like him back just a tiny ounce, then he can die happy. If he doesn't succeed and he fails to make you fall in love with him then it'd be a curse he'd have to bear with for the rest of his life because he knows that despite it, he couldn't ever leave you alone anymore. 

He imagines the scenario of you chuckling at him, mocking him for breaking apart so easily, calling him your desperate little slut in the process. Too immersed, Jay replies, "S-Shit. 'M not your slut."

The sounds of the toy squelching with every pump drives Jay mad, mind growing hazier by the minute. The toy makes him feel wonders and he's only left to imagine how good your pussy would feel if you ever let him fuck you. He thinks that if a toy feels this good on his dick, then there's no way you won't feel euphoric once he gets a chance to bury his dick inside your wet cunt.

It's not even past five minutes and yet, he can already feel his high approaching so quickly. With his mind flooded with images of you, his hand guides the toy faster, trying to drive him over the edge of his orgasm before pulling the toy off his dick completely. 

He chokes out a small cry in vain as all the pleasure vanishes. A string of curses leaves his lips after, not believing the fact that he's actually  torturing himself just to get a taste of you in his imagination.

He envisions you doing this to him; bringing him close to ecstasy and then taking it all away right before he can get the chance to cum. It's torturous having to repeat the same agenda on himself, especially when it's not you actually doing it. But he does so either way despite the pain and after a few more agonising denials, Jay finally decided to change positions.

Now positioning himself on all fours, Jay takes a pillow and places it right below his groin, resting the toy on top after. His right hand holds the fleshlight in place while the other rests on top of his pillow as leverage. Feeling comfortable again to resume his actions, he inserts his dick back in the toy, throwing his head back in pleasure as he releases a long dragged moan of your name. 

Jay starts thrusting into the toy with more vigor, jaw flexing as he clenches his teeth together. "Come on, Jay." Your voice says from inside his head. "Prove to me you aren't some worthless toy I can easily throw away."

Without wasting any more time, Jays thrusts grow near animalistic, pounding into the toy with more force. Lube mixed with his precum drips onto the mattress whenever he makes the move to retract his dick from the toy before drilling it back inside.

If there's anything in this world that Jay holds dear, that's you… and his pride. Jay knows he's good at everything so, when you, his beloved crush, tells him that he's practically a piece of filth you can't wait to throw away, Jays body fills with rage. How can you come up with such a lie? Those days that were filled with staring at you didn't go to waste because now, Jay feels like he knows your body inside and out. He knows every dip on your body, every mole visible on your skin and if there were more that he hasn't yet discovered, then he'll make sure to scout for them when he gets the chance to. He's determined to prove to you that he's irreplaceable, that no one can give you a better time than he does. 

"Fuck, YN." He pants your name out, voice shaking with each powerful thrust. "I'm so close, YN. I'm gonna cum."

He tried to wait longer, he really did. He didn't want to cum in his own hands. Instead, he wanted to cum in your presence, wanting to show you how hot he looks when he cums. But inevitably, he failed. 

Chanting your name, Jay finally lets himself reach his own high. With his body lurched forwards as he presses his face onto the sheets, his hips grind onto the toy while he rides himself off of his high, filling the toy with a huge load his hot cum.

His gut tells him that you'd love to humiliate him after. He can see you telling him how dumb he is for letting himself cum before you and he can only imagine how you'll punish him. Would you sit on his face and tell him to eat you out until you cum on his tongue? Or maybe, you'd tell him to sit down and ride him until you're satisfied, ignoring his pleas despite the overwhelming feeling of your vagina on his cock after he just came?

Either way, he's drunk and spent. But despite that, he won't make it easy for you. With all his might, he'll talk back and fire senseless retorts at you, wanting to drive you over the edge of insanity, completely unaware that it's already happening to him.

Lastly, Jays clinginess is something you didn't think you'd get used to this fast. All that talk about not wanting to be in the same vicinity as rugby players seemed to have flown past your head because look at you now; a jock practically purring on your shoulder as it napped. For a gym addict, Jays body is strong yet gentle, muscular yet soft, and heavy yet light. Polar opposites yet they conjure up the perfect qualities for a human being.

You have no idea how you two got into this situation nor do you remember who instigated it. The only thing you know is the feeling of comfort being close to Jay brings. It's odd, feeling the skin on skin contact with someone you're supposed to despise. Yet, you don't have the will-power to pull away. Perhaps, you have Jay to blame for that. Maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you think and you're developing feelings that're deeper, more romantic. 

How did you let yourself fall for him?

One Friday afternoon when your literature class unfortunately got cancelled, the whole class was told that they were free to go and spend their vacant time however they wanted. Finding nothing else to do, you offered to go out to the school field and have a small picnic date together with Liz. But with your pro procrastinator best friend having a ton of pending assignments left, she told you to just go there with Jay while she tries finishing some of them. 

Of course, still refusing to prove Liz right, you fake vomited, telling her that there was no way in hell you were going to have a picnic with Mr. Hot Shot Rugby Player and proceeded to go alone. Luckily, the said boy didn't hear your best friends suggestion and you were able to have a moment of peace before you realize that Jay was actually following behind you all this long.

"Jay," You call out his name in warning. "What're you doing here?"

"Nothing really. Just casually strolling since I have nothing to do." He answers, eyes staring at the horizon as his hands rest inside his pockets in a carefree manner. "Oh, having a picnic? Mind if I join?"

The boy doesn't give you a chance to reply before he's already making himself feel comfortable on the blanket. Prior to this, you had set up the blanket near a tall tree. You wanted to enjoy the cold breeze outside without the scorching heat of the sun burning your skin. 

Noticing the small canvas that sat idly on top of the blanket, he asks, "You gonna paint?"

Accepting your fate and the fact that you aren't going to get rid of him, you take a deep breath as you try to compose your thoughts. "Yeah, I was planning to."

"Well, don't let me stop you, babe." He says right before leaning back on his hands, feeling smug.

Complying with his words with a huff, you take the small canvas in your arms either way. With your watercolor paint set securely on top of the picnic blanket, you take a fine brush, ready to start painting whatever comes to mind when Jay speaks. "Do you think you can draw me again?"

"No," Thinking that you're done, an immediate pout makes its way onto Jays face and he's ready to convince you otherwise when suddenly, you cut him off by finishing your sentence. "I don't have a pencil right now. I only have these with me." You add, gesturing towards your palette. 

At that, Jay nods his head in understanding, however, a pout is still set on his face, yearning to be your muse once again. Looking over to him, you watch his face silently and while oblivious to your stare, Jay picks up a few small pebbles laying near the tree. He tosses them towards the distance, finding nothing to do. You sigh, feeling yourself cave in. "Come here then. I guess I can paint your silhouette or something."

Like an owner calling their cute kitten over, Jay whips his head towards your direction, feline eyes shining immensely with happiness before he conceals it, wanting to play hard to get. "Nah, I don't wanna bother you." He says in a mockingly sad tone.

Rolling your eyes at Jay antics, you pull his arm lazily so he could lean closer to you. "Come on, Jay. Before I change my mind."

Though it wasn't the first time yours and Jays skin has touched, it was the first time you instigated it. Jay has always been the one touching you, being clingy, and annoying— It was never you. The feeling is new and he can't help but freeze at the contact. Even after, his cheeks are set ablaze as the skin of your arms are still pressed together while he sits stiffly next to you. Noticing this, you ask, "You okay, pretty boy?"

Clearly, you said the name to tease him. Since day one, you were in love with the picture of Jays face looking dangerously red and flustered. Wanting to see the look on his face that you missed so dearly, you used the nickname in hopes to see it again. And it worked, Jays posture goes stiffer, his back straightening while he holds his breath. 

A simple act of skinship initiated by you is new to him, although he knows it doesn't have the same effect on you as it does him. The gesture also doesn't tell him what your feelings are for him. But this, a pet name, was something he could only imagine receiving from you and here he is now, receiving it. It makes him speechless, mind searching desperately for a comeback that conceals how weak he is for you, but he fails to do so, heartbeat beating too loud for his mind to function.

From your perspective, Jays reactions are always adorable. Yes, he has his moments wherein he acts like a brat— a spoiled one at that, but you can't deny the fact that you're willing to entertain him. It's something that's beyond your grasp, something uncontrollable. You do it so often and most of the time, you aren't even aware of it. Your body just seems to react that way to him, whether you like it or not. Right now, you know deep down that Jay holds a place reserved only for him in your heart. So, you ask, can his feelings ever be true?

Despite what you think, you continue spending the rest of the free time you had with the boy and from then on, you've come to form a bond with him that was totally unexpected, and yet, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the universe. If only you just had the guts to tell him how you feel.

"By the way, Jake's holding a party at his house this Saturday. I was sorta hoping you'd come?" He asks as the two of you lean side by side on the tree.

You hum, eyes closed as you rested. "We'll see."

Dusting the nonexistent dust off of the fabric of your black leather jeans, you take a look in the mirror for the first time since you came rushing back to your house.

Prior to this, you had gone home last Friday night to go and visit your parents back in the countryside. You came back at around 7pm and since then, you've been hastily trying to gather an outfit for the same party Jay had invited you to come to, all the while fighting with your own consciousness whether or not it was a good thing to go. 

You're not one to go to parties like this one. There's just something about partying with people you know from school that irks you. You'd much rather go to some local bar and get drunk off your head with strangers. But, like most decisions you make when Jay's involved, it gets thrown away towards the deepest corner of your brain, forgotten and neglected. 

Stepping inside the huge mansion decorated with tons upon tons of littered empty beer bottles and chip bags, you almost turn around and leave before the sweet fragrance of Jay's cologne hits you, enveloping you in such a sweet scent. How can you leave?

"YN~" He whines, obviously drunk out of his mind as he clings onto your arm. " 've been wai—ting for… you… all night." In his drunken state, Jay leans his full weight onto you, legs probably feeling like jelly as the alcohol floods his system. 

"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" You reply to him, enveloping his hands in yours to guide them towards your shoulder, wanting to provide him some leverage. Afterwards, your hands find their way towards the small of his waist in order to steady his body, afraid that the boy might collapse from the amounts of alcohol he's intook. 

He answers you with several cute nods before stuffing his face into the crook of your neck, sighing comfortably. The boy seemed as if he was drunk out of his mind and you were about to ask him if he was okay before he cut you off. "I— I thought you not gonna come~" He drags in a pout. "Thought you… ditched… me." 

By the tone of his voice, you can tell that Jay's about to pass out. So, making the decision to help him to bed, you made your way through the mass of sweaty teenagers on the dance floor and walked with him towards the kitchen. There was no use asking Jay where a guest room was located as the boy was now practically half asleep. With half of his body weight hung on your shoulder, the boy's purring onto your neck as you drag his body while you walk. 

Catching sight of a familiar blonde haired boy rummaging through the fridge with a few bottles in his hands, you decide to call his name. "Jake," You huff, readjusting your grip on Jay as you feel him slipping between your arms. Jay whines at the sudden jolt, hands tightening around your neck as he places airy kisses onto the side of it, where his head was tucked in.

At the call of his name, Jake turns his attention away to find you with an impeccably drunk Jay clinging onto you like a koala. To Jake, the scene looked funny and amusing because this was the first time he saw Jay in such a vulnerable scene. If it was any other girl he was clinging to, Jake wouldn't have wasted a second to take his friend away and tend to him on his own, feeling worried for the boys well-being. But since he knows Jays romantic bond with you, he's at ease. 

"Hey, YN." He greets, posture straightening. "That's quite the situation you've got there." He says, hands gesturing towards you and how Jays arms seem to be wrapped around you without a thought of letting go.

"Yeah," You agree with a huff, feeling out of breath. "I could use some help actually."

Rolling your eyes at the boy, you accept your faith, realizing how alike the two best friends are. "Thanks…" You trail off. "Is there a room I can put Jay in? I think he's gonna pass out."

Without missing a beat, Jake replies. "Nah." He smirks. "I think you've got it under control."

"Yeah, there's a guest room upstairs. Just go up. Last room to the right." He points towards the flight of stairs and you nod, taking the information in before you grip Jays body tighter as you make your way up the stairs and into the room the blondie told you to go to.

Opening the lights inside the dark room, you try not to stumble and fall to the ground, feeling your grip loosening. In fear of dropping the poor boy on the hard ground, you quickly waddle towards the bed and gently plopping Jay down into the soft mattress. 

Attempting to untangle his arms from your neck proved to be difficult as the boy just seemed to bound himself to you like steel. No matter how hard you try, Jays resolve doesn't falter, leaving you with no choice but to lay there awkwardly until he falls asleep. 

"YN~" You hear his sudden voice call out to you in the same drunk and dragged out manner. "Stay~" He pouts.

All you do is smile at his cuteness, reaching a hand up to sway his bangs away from his face. "Go to sleep, Jay. Get some rest." You say as your hand stays on the crown of his head, scratching his scalp. 

At the act of service, Jay groans contently under your touch. "You're so pretty YN." He sighs, drunk eyes watching you take your jacket off in a dreamlike manner.

This time, you laugh, both at his drunken confession and because of the look on his face. Sober Jay would never confess that you were pretty aloud— not in this way at least. When complimenting you, Jay always had more creative ways to get his message through, whether it's by teasing you or by using his corny ass pick-up lines. Still, those simple words made your heart flutter and so, in a whisper, "You're pretty too." you say. 

A dopey smile makes its way onto the boys face, undoubtedly feeling satisfied with your answer. "Lay down with me." He commands.

Although you know he's just being playful, you still wanted to tease him back by lecturing him and you were about to do just that before he suddenly pulls you down under him. All the air gets knocked out of your lungs, the action taking you by surprise. With wide eyes, you stare baffled at the man position on top of you, body placed between your legs while his face hovers only mere inches above yours. "J-Jay?" Hearing yourself stutter, you almost curse yourself for being so easily vulnerable.

Despite you calling out to him, Jay doesn't move an inch off of you, only moving nearer and in the heat of want and need, you do too. Quite frankly, now that he's so close, your senses fill with every bit of the boy. His cologne is the only thing you can smell, your bodies are practically pressed against each other, and with his face so close to you, he's the only thing you can see. The only thing missing is the taste of him then you'll be complete, the both of you will. And it seems like that's just what's about to happen because before you knew it, your surroundings seemed to move in slow motion, the only thing making sense is him as his nose touched yours, eyes begging for progress. 

Satisfied with his silent plea, you bring your faces closer and let him get a taste of what it's like to be engulfed by you. Both yours and Jays eyes are now closed, lips awaiting to collide and when it does, an endless spray of fireworks seem to erupt. You kiss him light and gentle, afraid he'll regret his actions and pull away. But when he doesn't, your heart melts, feeling joyous at his acceptance. 

It's not only you who feels that way, but also Jay, maybe even more so. He's the one that fell in love with you first, thus, meaning he's waited the longest out of the both of you. He tried to keep his emotions at bay, but the beer in his system seemed to have other plans as what Jay thought would be an innocent night where the two of you can get to know each other now turned into a hot makeout session. Jay isn't complaining however, how can he when he thought this was only possible in his dreams? 

When the plush feeling of your lips leave his, Jay craves for more and you happily dive back into him. This time, you kiss him harder just like he requested. The whine he lets out just fuels your sex drive even stronger and you're determined to ruin him. 

"YN," He calls with his eyes closed, feeling breathless. You reply to him with an airy hum, hands caressing the wide of his chest under his shirt, nails barely grazing over his nipples before wrapping them around his waist so you can continue teasing him with your hips. "S— ah, stop. I— I might…"

The feeling of having you, kissing you, feels so surreal to the boy. It's like a dream and he's just waiting to wake up and feel reality crashing down and disappoint him. He can't help but compare it to the numerous wet dreams he's had of you, except this time, it's all real. You're really making out with him, you're really putting your tongue inside his mouth and he's letting you.

The wet muscle of your tongue explores the space of Jays mouth as his hand possessively roams around your figure. His hands trail between the valley of your breasts to the curve of your hips and roots them there. The grip he has on you only gets tighter when you retract your tongue from his mouth to suck on his lips instead. His mouth hangs ajar, his loud moans spilling out uncontrollably, feeling your hips grinding up to rub on his boner.

"Might, what?" You ask, voice laced with ego while cocking an eyebrow up as you watch him struggle to form words knowing that you're the cause of it. "Baby can't speak now?" You pout, cooing at the quivering boy on top of you.

With the feeling of you tapping his cheek so affectionately, Jay groans in embarrassment. "You're the one getting worked up." He teases back in an attempt to collect the pieces of his pride that's been chipped off, digging his knee into your clothed vagina, wanting to get a reaction out of you. Instead, it's him who ends up moaning, throwing his head back when he feels the mixture of your heat and wetness through the fabric of his pants which, by the way, he was just dying to take off. His teasing seems to be for nothing because you just lay there all pretty whilst agreeing to everything he says as you couldn't deny the fact that his words were all true. He is making you hot and bothered and there's no use in denying it.  

Your confidence only makes Jay harder, now grunting at his failed attempt to fluster you. At this point, Jays pants are suffocating and he desperately wants to tear them off. He feels like he's getting blue balled and that has never happened to a hot boy like him. With you, Jay experiences all sorts of firsts; first crush, first love, first blue balls— he could do with the last one, but in the end, he wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world. 

"YN, please." He begs, practically on the verge of tears as his cheeks blossom a deeper shade of red, both because of the heat your body exudes and your words. "Do something— Oomf!"

Ignoring Jays pleas, you catch the boy by surprise by flipping the both of you over. Now, you're on top of him and he's below you, looking up, like how it should be. As Jay lies down with his arms bent at the same level of his head, you take your place and sit on top of his lap, feeling his erection pressing into your heat.

"There we go." You chuckle, looking down at the boy and leaning closer to his face. Thinking that you're going to kiss him, Jay leans up in expectation, only to chase your lips up when you pull away. Jay prepares himself for an endless night of teasing, now practically sober yet it feels like he's getting drunk again. It's just that this time, it's not because of the alcohol, but because of you. "Isn't this better, Jay?"

"It was better when I was on top of you." He says, snarkily.

"Ah," You sigh out, realizing what Jay's doing. "You aren't going to make it easy for yourself, are you, baby?"

"Yeah," He laughs, loving the way he's rilling you up. "Fuck you." Both Jays body and mind tries his hardest not to show a reaction when you had called him by his favorite pet name and he almost succeeds, but alas, Jays dick has different things in mind. 

Feeling his dick twitch under you, you can't help but laugh at his pathetic attempt to mask his emotions. "Oh come on, baby. Don't act like a brat now." You coo, steadily grinding down onto his dick. "We both know you're just dying to please me."

With every motion of your hips grinding on Jays boner, he can't help but choke on his own saliva, feeling his mind growing dizzy with every act. "YN… Do something."

Both yours and Jays body crave to be touched, to be against each other and so, you do just what your bodies want. Leaning forward, you bring your lips to his. Initially, you had planned to tease him further with light feathery kisses but the thought soon flew out the window when Jay tried to make it dirtier by inserting his tongue inside your mouth. The innocent, teasing kiss soon turns into a hot and messy make out session as you gladly suck on the muscle of his tongue, soon falling in love with every sound that falls outside his lips. 

Your hands make their way to Jays face, holding his face steady as you angle your face to the side in order to deepen the kiss. Jays eyes are closed, too occupied with kissing you that if he were to open them and see the mouth watering view of you on top of him, he'd just cum in his pants and that's the last thing Jay wants to do. 

Brushing his bangs back, your fingers then thread onto the strands of his hair, tangling them before pulling his head back so you could have free access to his neck. Your mouth leaves his and he almost whines at the loss of contact before he cuts himself off with a whimper when he feels you lick a thick stripe from the bottom of his neck to the edge of his jaw. 

"You're such a whiny little thing, Jay." You comment, breath fanning his neck and effectively sending shivers down his spine. You don't give him a chance to reply before your mouth latches onto the skin of his neck, sucking and biting enough for it to give Jay the harsh feeling of pleasure but not enough to leave marks. The said boy releases a string of curses, mouth falling open as he doesn't even bother to conceal the desperate moans in his chest.

Your tongue licks at the bump of his adams apple before taking it in your mouth. When Jay gulps, his adams apple moves and you chase it, humming delightfully when you feel Jays fingers latching onto your shirt to get a grasp of reality. Effectively covering the skin with your saliva, you then move on to the line of Jay's jaw. You've been eyeing this specific part of his face for the longest time since you've met him. Whenever Jay would randomly pop up and decide to stick with you, you always take the chance to admire his jaw whenever he's looking away. You just know that if he ever catches you then you're in for a life of endless teasing.  But now that he's here, willingly angling his head to the side to show off his stunning jaw to you, you can't help but greedily feast on it. There's not a chance in this world you'd pass up the opportunity to do whatever you wanted to him. And you do just that; you use your tongue to trace the sharp line of Jay's jaw, peppering it with kisses from time to time. As you kiss him, Jay's hands rake your scalp, trying to find something to hold onto as you cover him with your scent.

After all that's done, you take a look at the dishevelled man under you. His forehead is shining with a thin sheet of sweat, lips plump and swollen due to the endless amounts of kissing the both of you did, his chest rising and falling deeply with each breath he takes, and lastly, the hint of his abs peeking through his shirt is what sends you over the edge. Your mouth is watering, searching for something to do just to get a bigger reaction out of him and not to mention the fact that your wetness is practically seething through the thin layer of your jeans. 

"Wait, shit. I forgot," Suddenly, your hands stop from pulling his boxers out. Feeling edged, Jay lets out a choked sob, followed by a loud whine. He looks at you expectantly, eyes begging for you to just forget whatever it is. "Condom, honey. Do you have one?" 

You want to fuck Park Jay so bad, you're willing to beg for it. Luckily, it's Jay who breaks first. With stray lines of tears falling from the corner of his eyes, Jay begs, "Please, YN. Fuck me, please, please."

And that's all he had to say before you quickly took his pants off and threw them to the ground in a hurry, unafraid to show your own eagerness.

A condom, a fucking condom. That's what's banning Jay from getting his noodle wet. He's about to throw a tantrum, it's going to be loud, childish, and annoying. You can just tell from the way his face consorts in disapproval that you're going to be dealing with a bigger brat if you don't give baby Jay what he wants. But at the end of the day, your point is valid, and as Jay rummages through his pockets in search of a condom, he fails to find any. You watch him as he leans to his side, looking through the drawers of the bedside table, practically resembling a starved dog scavenging for food when he cries out, and you can only take that as a sign that there isn't any here.

"None?" You watch him amused, a smile dancing across your face. Leaning close, you take his head and cradle him to your chest, attempting to console the boy.

"There's none!" He screams out, pouting as he digs his nose deeper into the crook of your neck. "YN~ My balls are hurting." He whines, kicking his legs behind you.

Acknowledging his pain, you pat the boys head before leaning away. "I'll go get one, yeah?" You ask.

Like an excited child, Jay hurriedly nods while watching you get up from his lap and standing in front of him at the foot of the bed. "Hurry hurry."

"Oh, don't sound so eager, Jay. You look like you're just begging for me to fuck you." You chuckle, hands resting on your hips.

"But I am, though." He finally admits. Jay bites his lip when he sees you coming closer before pecking him, telling him that you'll be quick and ordering him not to move.

You don't even get ten steps away from the room before you see Yunjin leaning against the wall with her hands crossed in front of her chest. She turns to you, giving you a once over. "Oh, it's you." She says before scoffing. "I didn't think Jay would be able to win this year because of you, but I guess that man's just has his ways, huh?"

Like a million pound truck sending you flying aback, or like a bucket of ice cold water being poured onto you, you're frozen, unable to move as reality comes crashing down onto you. Your heart beat stops and for a moment, you thought it would stay that way forever before she speaks again. "Oh?" She asks with interest, a smirk playing across her lips as she tilts her head to the side in order to provoke you. "Did you really think Jay, the Park Jay, wanted to fuck you because he loved you? Did little miss artsy YN fall in love?"

Why does loving someone always has to come with a catch? You guessed that this is why it hurts so much, because love is sinful and unforgiving. Just when you were ready to let him inside your bubble, thinking that he'd take care and cherish it with you, instead, he popped it with little to no care. 

Blood rushes through you and you can feel your knuckles itching for contact. Yunjins face looks so punchable right now and you just want to ever so lightly tap it. How can you be so stupid to forget? To think that all the teasing, all the pick-up lines, and all the moments you shared together were just part of his stupid plan to get you. Now, It all makes sense; Him suddenly growing interested in you and him acting like you're the most pretty thing in this crude world.  In the end, it was all for show. And you knew it. From the beginning, you had already suspected that he was only getting close to you because you were apart of his fuck list.

But can you blame yourself? The adoration you felt with him was so addicting it felt real.

Maybe, that's how Jay worked. Maybe, that's the effect he has on people. You knew from the start that Jay was the type of guy to get whatever he wanted and yet, you were stupid enough to forget it all because you fell in love with him.

"You know, I didn't think you were going to be that easy to get, YN. But I guess I was wrong about you." She comments without you asking. "You're just a little two faced nerd looking for attention."

If you weren't coursing with anger before then you are now. Eventually, your knuckles turn a baffling shade of white due to the amount of strength you're putting on it and just when you were about to leave and head to your car, Yunjin breathes and that's all it took for your fist to collide with her jaw. 

Despite the booming sound of music through the speakers, the crackling sound of her jaw breaking still finds its way to tear through the tensed air. Yunjin doubles back, palm cupping her jaw as she looks at you with shock and bafflement. You can feel her hatred for you bubbling up, but you don't care. You leave her there despite her enraged calls for you to come back and fight her again, to show the world who you truly are, but you tuck her voice at the back of your mind as you make your way down the stairs and out of the fucking mansion.

You're enraged with hatred and disgust, both for the boy and Yunjin. The more you think of it, the more you realize that you should've thanked her actually. Because of her, you've finally come to your senses. If it weren't for her, there's a possibility you would've given in to his plan and lost all sense of your pride. Making a mental note to apologise to her soon, you speed up your car, trying to erase all the memories you have of the boy in your mind.

Too caught up in your own feelings, you don't realize that you've left Jay there in the guest room by himself, waiting for you to return. And he would've waited even longer if Yunjin hadn't staggered inside and told him that you left.

"Wh— Huh?" Jay asks, still surprised to see the girl inside the same room you two had made out in and promised to make love. "Did something happen? Is she hurt?" Jay rushes to button up his pants as he stands up from the bed, ready to look for you in case you really were in trouble.

"No," Yunjin says, sliding down the wall and planting herself on the carpeted floor. "She already knows, Jay. You don't need to pretend you like her anymore." She chuckles.

Jay looks at her with question marks practically floating above his head, wondering what the hell she was talking about. In fact, Jay doesn't even know who this girl is. When Yunjin sees this, she carries on to remind him.  "The game, Jay."

That's when it finally hits him. You think that he's doing all this because of the game. Jay immediately goes into panic, mind creating alarming scenarios of you leaving him forever. He thinks he fucked it all up even though the game was the last thing on his mind at this point. He can't let you think that that's why he's doing this, he can't let you think that he isn't ready to do everything for you. He needs to confess and that's what he plans on doing.

Noticing the panic in Jays eyes, Yunjin finally realizes that this wasn't his objective, that this isn't what the boy wanted. Slowly, it dawns on her that the boy isn't doing this because of the game anymore. It's evident in the way he rushes to find his phone, feet jittering as he hurriedly taps on his phone to dial your number and when you don't answer, tears start spilling from Jays eyes.

"You love her," She asks, eyes concentrated on him as she too, is in shock. "Don't you?"

Looking blankly at your contact number on his phone screen, he answers, "Yeah," He gulps, mouth catching his lips, trying to conceal his whimpers. "I do."

My muse: YN, please answer. Let me explain.

A whole three hours have passed since you left Jay alone in Jakes mansion and the boy has never felt this depressed in his life. He had tried calling you a staggering total of 163 times, left messages asking to talk and yet, none were answered. 

My muse: I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you. I never intended to make a fool out of you.

My muse: I need you, YN. Don't leave me, please.

My muse: Are you safe at least? Did you get home safely? I'm not sure if you brought your car so if you need me to bring you home just call me or send a message, anything's fine.

He was on the verge of stopping by every house in the city just to find you when Heeseung told him to go home and rest. The boys had been trying to comfort Jay for hours now, but nothing had seemed to work. Not being able to cope with the sadness mixed with the flashbacks of your rendezvous, Jay accepts his friends suggestion, going back to his own house where he can rest peacefully… or so he thought.

All this while, Jay had been absentmindedly carrying your jacket around like a lost puppy, the one you left in Jakes guest room. It's the one thing he has of you at the moment and he can't help but grip on to it like his life depended on this sole object.

He sighs as he plops down onto his bed, both feeling spent and exhausted. Jay wanted to sleep, he really did, but how could he when the memories of your night together flashes in his mind on repeat. Not to mention how your jacket sits there on his bed, tempting him to sin.

It's sad, he knows. The memories of you becoming too extreme and plus, he's too miserable. How did a night so perfect become this disastrous?

Tonight, Jay was about to confess his undying adoration and maybe, you were going to do the same too. But it was all ruined because of something so trivial. Yet, how can he blame you? If he found out you only looked at him because of a game, he would walk out too, maybe even do something even worse. 

But that's not the case for Jay. There's not a single hint of doubt in his body that he loves you. But then again, you didn't know that. If only he had just confessed to you sooner, then maybe, this could've all been prevented. And because of his actions, he lost you. So, for now, as he spends the night wide awake, Jay tortures himself as his mind dive into the memories of both you and him, to the times you spent together doing something as simple as sitting next to each other and to the ones where he almost made love to you.

His mind drowns in all the possibilities; of you under him, on top of him, beside him. It's all making Jays mind fuzzier. The line between imagination and reality blurring as his erotic fantasies intensify. Forgive him. He knows it's not the time to be feeling this way, but what else can he do when you left him in the middle of the night, hard and horny. He's already cried his heart out, maybe now is the time to temporarily mend it.

Yeah, let's just patch it up with tape for now.

Jay is boisterous and never easily flustered when it came to topics like sex. If so, then why is he shaking?

His hands continue to trail around his stomach, thinking that it'd be an image you'll be impressed in. Jay takes pride in his physique because after all, he's trained ruthlessly for over three years just to get this kind of body. So, of course, he's going to want you to put at least some attention to it.

Eyeing the grip he has on your jacket, Jay debates whether or not to do it before finally saying fuck it. In a desperate attempt to keep his emotions at bay, Jay covers his face with the fabric of your jacket. The cloth is covered in your scent and it's intoxicating to him as only a few moments ago, you were the only thing in this world that he could feel, taste, hear, and smell. It's a simple perfume and it doesn't suffocate his nostrils when he inhales it.

As he does, the scent of you fills his systems and he's yet again reminded of the things that happened in Jakes guest room. He wonders what else you would've done if the two of you went further. Thinking like you're doing it to him, Jay begins by trailing his hand up to rest on top of his abs, caressing and tracing the soft skin. His breath hitches as he inhaled, getting another strong whiff of your scent coated on the jacket. "YN," He sighs.

Eventually, the light caresses he's making are just not enough anymore. He wants something stronger, something to distract him from his sorrows. Wanting to do so, Jay grazes his fingers on top of his nipples, stimulating them as he breathes in once more, nostrils filling with your scent before pulling the jacket off his face. His brows are furrowed, feeling the way his mouth waters at the actions he had been planning to do. Jay releases a small whimper when he finally moves tug on his nipples, imagining it's you doing it to him. Jay has never touched his nipples while misturbating before and he'd never once thought of doing it. Not until he got a taste of you. 

Wanting to get a better simulation of your wet lips on his body, he takes his fingers in his mouth and coats them with a thick layer of his own saliva before using it to pinch his nipples, tweaking the bud in his own fingers. It's only then does Jay notice the red colored tint that managed to mix with his saliva. It's the remnants of your lipstick that got smudged onto his mouth. This time, the boy releases a loud and drawn out moan, the scenario feeling all too real for his rotting brain.

"YN," He moans. "I l-love you." He chokes out the confession in between pants. 

As time goes on, Jays pants start to suffocate him, his boner getting harder the more he plays with himself as the various different scenarios of you on top of him plague his mind. 

The only position Jay could imagine the both of you in right now is you on top, taming and punishing him like the brat he is. He applauds himself for coming up with such a logical scenario. It's the only one that makes sense.

Bunching up your jacket into a small ball, Jay presses the fabric onto the bulge of his pants, imagining it as your cunt instead. He shuts his eyes close, head throwing back at the slightest stimulation. Jay flexes his jaw when he grinds his hips upwards into the fabric as he holds it in place. He feels ashamed of his actions. It's something he thinks a sane person won't do, but at the end of the day, is Jay still right in the head?

But it'll have to do for now. While he doesn't have you in his arms, he's going to have to make do with what he has.

He's not. It's clear in the way he hurriedly plies his pants off that he's not able to think clearly anymore. He wants you to ride him, wants to feel himself deep inside your pussy. But he can't because he's a stupid fucking piece of shit that can't get his priorities straight. Maybe if he had just remembered to tell you about how the game is fucked and that he doesn't care about it, then maybe, it would have been you on top of him right now instead of this makeshift pocket pussy.

With his goal in mind, Jay wraps the whole of your jacket around his dick. His hands hold the fabric in place, suffocating his dick with your scent as his hands start to guide it up and down. Endless rays of moans, whimpers, and groans spill out of Jays mouth, the sound of your jacket rubbing on his dick making his mind grow crazier. Like a broken record, Jay chants your name over and over as he continues to jack off.

That's how Jays night went. Despite the pleasure he received from his high, Jay was still depressed and sad. Now, however, it's mixed with a sense of shame and guilt, both at the fact that despite losing you, his mind still managed to come up with dirty scenarios of you together and because he soiled your jacket with his cum. 

It's no worries though, he can just get it dry cleaned before giving it back to you. Shame your scent won't be on it anymore, but maybe it's for the best since his mind might make up erotic fantasies of the both of you again.

"Alright, ladies! Come over here." Heeseung calls and tuts for his team to come closer. He continues once all of his members are gathered around him. "Coach is out today. Something about getting his balls cut off." He informs, voice monotone with disinterest as his eyes never once leave the clipboard he's holding.

"As per his majesty's request, we're going to be doing 30 laps around the field today—" His words get cut off with a series of protests and groans coming from his own team. "Don't make me up to 60."

"3 reps of 200 Bench presses, 150 military presses, 150 squats. After that we're going to do deadlifts. Coach said Sunoo and Jungwon need to gain more muscle. So…" Heeseung continues to list on, reading the exercise routine their Coach provided for them while he's away.

Listening from the back, Jay eventually tunes out Heeseungs voice once he moves on to personal exercises. Instead, he diverts his attention towards the bleachers where multiple girls begin occupying the seats as per usual. It's normal for their fan girls to begin taking their seats once classes are over, wanting to catch a glimpse of one of them naked and sweaty. Jay doesn't mind the attention, however. What he does mind is how he still can't seem to find you anywhere. The boy has been searching for you for a whole day now. The two of you had literature class today and he was going to take that chance to talk and explain himself to you. But when he stepped into class, you were nowhere to be seen. You blonde little friend wasn't there either so it wasn't like he could ask her for your whereabouts. He could only pray that the two of you just decided to ditch literature class today as there's a dark corner in his mind that thinks you might have transferred to a different class, or maybe even a different school. But he knows better than to think that, especially when he finally saw the said blonde there, sitting on one of the bleachers. To Jays dismay though, there was no trace of you.

Ignoring Heeseung's call and his teammates' wandering glances, he joggs over to where your friend sat. She lets out a surprised yelp, quickly composing herself when she sees the man standing in front of her so suddenly out of nowhere.

"Hey," Jay casually greets her and then asks, "Liz, right?"

"Yes…" She drags, tilting her head to the side, eyes shifting back and forth between Jay and everywhere else as she begins to feel flustered under his intimidating aura.

"Do you know where YN is?"

An excited squeal escapes Liz's lips, struggling to contain her excitement when the question leaves Jays mouth. Liz is an innocent little thing and an oblivious one at that. No doubt, she's a friend you can come to when you're in need of a shoulder to cry on or a body to seek comfort in, but you can never lean on Liz when it comes to topics like relationships. In the best way possible, Liz is an airhead dreamer. Liz always looks as if she's in a different world, a world filled with her likes. She's tooth achingly nice and almost as pure as milk. There's not a bad bone in the girls body and that's why you love her to bits. Sure, there are times when she breaks character, but mostly, that's because she senses trouble in people. It's like the time when Yunjin dissed you and Liz fired back with her own reply. She's different and you can only curse her mother for letting her watch Harry Potter's Luna Lovegood on repeat as a child as there's no doubt in your mind that that was the reason for Liz's behaviour. But, nevertheless, you love the girl to death. 

That's the reason why Liz is still fond of Jay. When her dear friend came to her that night to cry her heart out, she comforted the girl in her arms, hushing her and telling her that everything was alright despite not knowing the horrors she just experienced. 

Liz didn't know what happened and if she asked, she knew you wouldn't tell her. So, she sticks to consoling you despite whatever events took place, oblivious to the fact that the man standing in front of her was the cause of it all. Maybe, not telling Liz was a mistake. Maybe, you should've tried using everything in your power to make her understand that this world isn't full of butterflies and roses. Instead, you should teach her the truth, that this world is unforgiving, so many worshipped God's and yet none of them take pity on you. But, despite what you think, you just can't taint her. Let her think that the world is wonderful, that everyone has kindness in their hearts. You'll carry all the burden just so she could stay happy.

"She's in the art room!" Liz eagerly replies, smiling crazily at the boy as the thought of Jay and you together still plague her mind. She's still convinced that you and Jay are meant together. Knowing Liz, she'll do whatever it takes if she thinks it'll make you happy and right now, she thinks that bringing Jay to you will help her achieve her dream. "You should go now. The art room is usually empty around this hour, so YN is the only one there." She ushers.

Smiling appreciably, Jay nods and thanks her gratefully. Jay doesn't question why YNs supposed best friend sells him the information so easily. Aren't best friends supposed to hate the guys who made their friends cry? Oh god, Jay didn't even think about it before, but he could've made you cry. The thought just makes Jays heart ache even harder and the feeling of self disgust seeps back in his system again. Nonetheless, he's grateful that Liz is giving him the chance to make it up and explain himself to you. He's determined to do so and if things go better than planned, he might come back to your good graces.

Before making his way towards the art room, he makes a detour and heads towards his locker. There, hangs the same jacket you wore the night he was about to love you deeper and the same night where he had unintentionally broken your heart. 

Securing the jacket in his hands, he catches a whiff of your scent on it and he can't help but bury his face in it, savouring and trying to imprint your scent into his brain. The possibility of losing you is great. If you decide that you don't want Jay anymore, he'll at least have your scent to carry him out through his life. Stray tears leave his eyes at the thought, heart wrenching as it struggles to handle such a sorrowful thought. He's praying to every God above and below for some sort of miracle, for him to be forgiven. He swears with his life that if some supernatural phenomenon does happen and you end up loving him, Jay's not going to mess around anymore. He's going to be yours to own solely. He's going to turn his life around for good. Fuck that wretched game. Fuck winning. He doesn't care about any of it at all. If he's being honest, even if you don't take him back, he's never going to participate in playing that silly game ever again. There's not a chance in this world he's ever going to get over you and there's an even bigger chance that he's never going to have sex with anyone else other than you. Abstinence is fine, he doesn't care. He knows he's not going to get you back with that, but he's trying to make a statement here, people. And plus, he has to start somewhere, right?

Peeking inside through the small gap he made on the door, he finds you sitting in front of a canvas with your back turned to him. Just like what Liz said, there was no other occupant in the room, but you. 

With your back turned to him, he's able to see what you're painting on your canvas. It's a picture of what seems to be a field of green. A huge tree is painted on the side of the canvas while two figures of a couple seem to be sitting down on a blanket. He stares at your canvas in awe, amazed at how something so breathtaking can come out using only someone's mere hands. His eyes are entranced, unable to look away as you stroke your brush on the canvas with so much confidence, unnerved of the possibility of making any sort of mistake. But, even if you were to ever make a wrong stroke, he's already sure that with the way your hands move so freely on the canvas, you can make even the ugliest of things attractive.

"If you're going to keep staring at me like that then just come in. You aren't really doing a subtle job at stalking me." Your voice catches Jay off guard. It makes him stumble on his own feet, falling down on his butt on the ground, slamming the door back on the wall with him along the way. Jay's cheeks flare up as once again, he has embarrassed himself in front of you. 

"S-Sorry." He stutters out, feeling flustered now that he's in your presence. Everything he's planned to tell you dissipates and it feels like he's choking. Your tone is vicious and it's clear to Jay that you're angry at him. He has to compose himself fast so he can't anger you any more by wasting your time.  Taking a deep breath, Jay breathes in and out, trying to tame his heart. It proves to be harder than expected however when he locks eyes with you, brows furrowed and lips pressed in a thin line.

"Why're you here?" You ask in a tone so cold and monotone that Jay almost whimpers. It's been a while since you've used such a way of speaking with him. The last instance he could remember was when you had met for the first time. But even back then, your tone was welcoming to Jay in a sense that he could tease you. 

This time, however, it's serious and you're angry. There's no room to joke, no room to tease and Jay feels like he's going to suffocate. He's never been this nervous to be around you. It's always him being comfortable, teasing, and messing around while you react to his jokes. This is too harsh for the poor boys heart and he just wants to be forgiven already.

"I— I came here… to… to—" He's mustering up the courage to speak, but it's hard when your stare is so intimidating.

You cut him off before he could stutter even more. "To, what? Don't waste my time, Jay." You say, harshly. "I don't want to see you right now so get to the point."

"Y-Your jacket!" He says, feeling a thin streak of sweat running down his temple as he utters out the first thing that comes to mind. "You left your jacket at Jakes house. Here." The boy murmurs before shuffling closer to you to pull out the said jacket you had left.

Looking at Jay blankly as if feeling dumbfounded, you then stare back and forth between him and his outstretched arm before taking the jacket from him slowly. At first, his grip on the jacket makes it seem like he doesn't want to hand it over to you. It's when you quirk an eyebrow up to question him does his grip relent, letting you take the jacket. "Thanks…"

You should be angrier, colder, you say to yourself. That was the initial plan; to live on the rest of your life ignoring Jay so you could forget about the love you have for him. But why is it that when the time came to execute your plan, you backed out? After what he did, your feelings should've been gone and yet, why do you feel such an immense sense of longing whenever you look at him and he's not by your side. It's impossible to ignore him, and it's even harder to do so when your heart yearns for his presence. It's suffocating having to be without him. You feel as if you were ripped in half, broken and can only be fixed by one person.

You wanted to be logical, you wanted to hear him out because maybe, just maybe, he actually cared for you. If he did and you didn't hear him out now, then you would've lived the rest of your life filled with sorrow and dread. You wait for him, watching him as he fumbles with the buttons of his practice attire. 

"Do you need anything else?" You know your tone is harsh, but you can't help it. You want to show him that you're mad, that you want an explanation, but you can't beg. No, you just can't. So, instead, you give him the decision to flip the coin whether or not he's going to explain himself. You just want one thing to come out of his mouth besides the word sorry. Just one thing. You need to know if he's true, if what the both of you had was real, because if you don't, you're going to go crazy. Love makes you crazy and it's ruthless, but for Jay, you won't hesitate to dive back in and eperience every struggle.

"I… I wanted to say sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you, YN." He says as a few moments pass with the both of you just staring at each other, savoring your possible last moments together if either of you makes the decision to reject the other. Jay needed to get his act together and tell you how he feels. He wants you and he's willing to fight for it. "I just wanna say that… that I'm in love with you. I really do. And before you say anything, can you please let me explain myself?" He begs, eyes filled with desperation.

Silently, you nod, letting him let out the words he wants to say as you try to process his words. He loves you. The one phrase you wanted to hear from him, it's there, he just said it to you. All this time worrying about whether or not he actually loved you was all just for nothing. Deep inside, your heart feels alive and joyful. It may sound stupid, but with those simple words, you already feel like it's already worth forgiving him.

Watching Jay exhale almost made you want to giggle. But of course, wanting to intimidate him, you refrain from doing so. 

"I love you, okay? A-And it's okay if you don't like me back. I mean, it— it isn't okay, but I would respect it." He stutters, cursing his awkward nature for coming out while he's in such a situation. "I just… My feelings for you, they were all real. Please believe me because I really do love you. My heart, I-It's never done this before, but whenever I think of you, it just starts hurting and it only stops when I'm finally next to you. I guess, in a way, you kinda… uhm, complete me." Feeling shy, he mutters the last part, debating whether or not it was too cheesy to say or not, but he ended up saying it either way out of nervousness. 

When he looks back at you to see your reaction, you only nod. Taking that as a sign that you're permitting him to continue, he does. "A-And about the game. The game… I'll be honest with you, I completely forgot about it. I promise, I never intended to take pictures of you that night. Honestly, just— just fuck the game, in general! Will you be my girlfriend, instead?" Jays mouth acts before he could stop himself from unintentionally spilling the words out.

Hear me out, it's not like Jay doesn't want you to be his girlfriend, he just doesn't think now is a good time to ask. Since you haven't said anything, you're still technically mad at him. He just couldn't help but feel carried away as he poured his heart out and of course, his heart also wanted to ask the very question he thought should come in last. 

Jay slaps his mouth shut as he's struck with bafflement. "I— I'm so sorry, YN! Ididn'tmeantoaskyouthatallofasudden. Iknowarelationshipisthelastthingyouwantfrommeanditotallyunderstanditifyourejectme!" He stammers all in one breath in an attempt to redeem himself.

Thinking he had completely fucked up his chances, Jay takes buries his face in his hands, too ashamed to look at you. Perhaps, if he looked up, he would've seen the amused smile on your face as you watch the boy cringe at himself. He continues to drown himself in embarrassment, chanting an endless degree of apologies as you sit there. Eventually, you start to giggle as you watch him. The euphoric noise pulls Jay out of his self-humiliation, now looking at you with unbelieving eyes as he watches you continue to burst into a fit of giggles. Throwing your head back as you clutch your stomach while wiping the non existent tears in your eyes, eventually making Jay realise that you aren't mad at him anymore.

Still though, he looks at you warily, wondering if this is a trap and that you're actually about to yell at him. He waits for a scream to tell him to leave, but nothing comes. "YN?" He asks you when you've calmed down.

"Oh, Jay." You manage to say in between deep breaths as you try to compose yourself. "You're just the cutest thing ever."

"I.. Wh—" He stumbles on his words, unsure of what to say nor what's happening. "Huh?"

He's just too cute! Ugh, you just want to squish his cheeks together. It's as if all the anger in your body has eroded with those simple words of affirmation. Honestly, it might seem like you're letting him get off the hook so easily, but what can you do? The boy has you wrapped around his fingers.

"I…" He trails off, unable to form words as he stands with your arms wrapped around the span of his thighs while your head rested on top of his toned stomach. "You really don't hate me?"

Smiling, you open your arms for Jay, spreading your legs in the process so he can step closer to you. When he does, you take him in your arms in a huge hug.

Jays body grows stiff, the situation still feeling odd to him. It was that easy? He was so ready to drop down his knees in front of you and start begging for you to take him back, to call himself worthless, to tell you that he's really really changed and that if you didn't believe him, he'll try his hardest to prove himself worthy of your affection.

Chuckling against his stomach, you nod, head rubbing on his skin before you tighten your arms around him as if to prove that you were serious. You can feel the boys sincerity through his words; how honest and true his feelings are. Although your wall has already been slowly chipping down, now, you let it fall completely. Your guard is no more and you've willingly pulled it down for only Jay to enter.

This time, you're dedicated not to make anymore accusations. You believed in Yunjin too quickly, and that was your fault. You put yours and Jays relationship at risk, and that was also your fault. Even though you've made so many mistakes, Jay is still at your front door, knocking and asking if he could enter. Despite hurting him, he's still begging for you to take him back. In a way, you feel bad for Jay. There's a part of you that thinks that because you've hurt him so much, you shouldn't have the privilege of being with him anymore. But Jay only wants you; your love, your touch, and your kisses. He doesn't want anyone else and he's willing to take the pain that comes with loving you because after all, what's love without a little pain? Jay's a masochist after all.

"I hope you know I'm not going to continue playing your little game, Jay." You say as you pull away to get a good look at him.

"I wasn't going to ask you to play the game in the first place." He replies, confidence slowly building up as the hope for a romantic relationship with you bubbles. "But if you want, you can just play with me instead." 

Taking a bold move, Jay leans his face downwards, closer to yours. Jay eyes the way you bite your lips while your own locks onto the attractive cut in the middle of his bottom lip. You want to lick it, to kiss it again, but you hold yourself back, wanting to tease the boy more.

At his offer, fire spreads through your eyes like wildfire and it doesn't help the fact that he's so close to you as you try to contain yourself from jumping him. Jay looks so hot when he's confident, when he's cocky. You remember a time where you used to hate this look on him and his other peers, but look at you now. With Jays classic smirk on his lips, it sets your mind into a frenzy and you're on the verge of losing all your self control. It's only a matter of time until you break, but you hope to god Jay crumbles first, for the sake of your pride. 

You can see the determination in Jays eyes and it only makes you swell with pride how eager the boy is to have you. With that being said, you wonder and ask him with a teasing tone. "Are you normally this shameless Jay?"

"Shameless?" He asks in such an innocent manner you almost forget how close he is to you without your permission. "I'm only like this towards you." He says, smiling cheekily.

"Ah," You let out, nodding your head before telling it to the side. Smirking, "You don't let girls go down on you normally, hm?"

"No," He answers, eyes trained to you and voice sounding far off and breathless as if in a trance. "Only you."

That's it. That was the last straw and now, your resolve is completely broken. The initial plan to keep things PG is thrown out the window. Now, you just want to have him, kiss him, lick him, break him.

Just like how he's so in control whenever he's in the field, you're going to play with him whichever way you want.

"Aw," You coo, hands brushing his hair back before using your nails to scratch behind his ear, like how you would when tending to a cat. "Is my kitty that needy?"

With the way Jays eyes look, you can tell he wants to close the gap and bring himself closer to you, however, before he could, your hand squishes both his cheeks as you hold him in place. Dejected, Jay whines and his mouth forms into a pout. His eyes plead for you to let him near and you're certainly not blind to the way his eyes yearn pleadingly while looking at the smirk coating your lips, silently begging for you to let him kiss you. Jay's used to getting what he wants, and he wants you. You're willing to give him what he wants of course, but not without teasing him first.

Having been caught so easily, he blushes at your question, wanting to look away in embarrassment, but your grip on his cheeks are hindering him from doing so. Then, he whines, both from the restriction and the nickname you gave him. "Answer me first, please." He meekly says, voice sounding small.

"Answer what, kitty?"

Jay blushes even harder, whining as he knows damn well you're aware of what question he's talking about. "Be my…" He starts, but his voice falters afterwards when he catches you staring at him with a teasing smirk on your face.

Biting your lips to conceal your laughter, you continue to mock him, loving the flustered look on someone so boisterous like Jay. "Be your, what?"

"Fuck," He mutters when you decide to take your teasing one step farther by standing up and wrapping your arms around the small of Jays waist, pulling his body close to you to the point where your noises touch. "Will you… be… my girlfriend?"

"There you go, baby." You say in a childish tone, applauding Jay for finally being able to mutter the question. Hearing another pet name come out of you makes Jay even shier than he was before, head now burying into your neck as he tries to conceal his feverous blush. "But, yes, Jay. I'll gladly be your girlfriend."

Fireworks erupt in Jays stomach, now feeling even bubblier as you accept him as your boyfriend. Unable to contain his happiness, Jay buries his head deeper into your neck while his buff arms wrap around your thighs so he can lift you up and spin you around. Both yours and Jays laughter fill the vacant room, uncaring whether or not someone in the halls might hear. They'll think the two of you are crazy, but you don't care. All you care about is the happiness of finally being complete and whole.

"Can I kiss you now?" Jay asks all too quickly as he carefully sets you down.

Laughing at your boyfriends eagerness, you nod, letting Jay capture your lips in his.

The kiss is innocent and light, but most importantly, it's perfect. It's not your first time kissing Jay, yet, there's something different about this time. Maybe, it's because now, neither of you are intoxicated. Maybe, because now, the two of you have shown your love for each other. Neither Jay nor can you suppress your joyous smiles as the both of you continue to kiss each other despite your teeth hitting from time to time. 

You hold Jays head still so you could properly kiss him and this time, you don't hesitate to kiss him harder in order to show how much passion and care you have for the boy. Of course, Jay immediately responds. It's like his second nature now. If you kiss him, his body automatically moves to answer even before his brain can process what's happening.

Jay tilts his head to the side, deepening your kiss and letting out a muffled moan when you slide your tongue past his mouth. For the second time, he lets you explore every crevice of his mouth, tangling his tongue with yours from time to time. You hum into the kiss when you feel Jays hands slide down to cup your ass. If it were any other day, you would've slapped Jays hand away while you scolded him, telling him how bold he's getting without your permission. But for now, you let him enjoy himself, let him explore and caress every part of your body. It's like he's trying to familiarise himself with his new property and like any other new owner, he wants to see everything bare and naked.

When you bite down hard on his lip, Jay whimpers, hand clutching your shirt as he looks at you with a gaze that tells you he wants something. Releasing the skin with one final nibble, he talks, "Let me fuck you." 

Jay should've seen it coming. He knows you're a tease, and that you'd never let him take the easy way in life. When you chuckle at his request, he knows he's in for the time of his life. "No."

"No?" He asks, unsure whether you really won't let him do anything despite showing the same amount of eagerness.

You hum, nodding. "No."

"Uhm, then…" He asks, shifting his weight between his legs awkwardly.

"I have something else planned for you." You tell him, a mischievous grin set on your face as your hand traces his shoulder in an attempt to help soothe his abnormally quick heartbeat "Be my muse again."

Dumbfounded, Jay looks at you with furrowed brows wondering why you so suddenly asked to paint him out of nowhere. But despite that, Jay agrees because at the end of the day, he'll do whatever you ask of him.

Seeing him nod, you bite your lips before giving his lips a quick peck. You guide him to sit on a chair a few inches in front of your easel. Placing yourself in between his legs, you ruffle Jays hair in a way that makes him look sweet and edible. You don't let a single hair go untouched as you hands rake his scalp and Jay only sighs in delight as he lets you do whatever you want to him and his body.

Finally deciding that you're done, you take a step back to admire the image of Jay that you've created; hair tousled like the two of you had been making out for hours, lips slightly swollen, and eyes looking at you wide and expecting. 

You let out a hum in approval as Jay watches you saunter back to stand in front of your canvas. "Take your shirt off." You instruct while your eyes stay occupied with picking the colors you want to use for your portrait.

When you're finally able to draw out your palette, you look at Jay. You raise an eyebrow at him, ignoring the shocked look on his face as his shirt still clings onto his body. Realising that he hadn't misheard you, he quickly shuffles to take his shirt off, letting it fall gently onto the floor close to where he sat. He looks at you expectantly, wondering if there's anything else you'd like for him to do. 

You let out a hum as you ponder, chin resting on your palms while you tap your feet on the hard ground. "Take your pants off too."

Now, Jay has an idea of what you want to do and he's just as excited as you are. So, after quickly kicking his pants off, he stays on alert for your next instructions. 

"Oh, Jay." You dreamily sigh, looking at your boyfriend as if he was your prey. "You look so good right now. I can just eat you out."

The fog in Jays mind is moving quicker than usual as now, It's actually you talking to him and not just his imagination creating scenarios for him. The way you talk to him is making him go crazy and he can feel his dick in his pants rapidly hardening despite you not touching him. 

"Do it." He tells you while his body looks for your touch. 

When he looks at you with strong eyes, you only laugh at him. "Be good, baby. Don't wanna ruin my portrait, don't you?"

"Fuck the portrait. I wanna fuck you." He curses, voice strong and demanding, both traits you aren't seeking as of the moment.

You click your tongue at how disobedient Jay is, rolling your eyes as you warn him that if does something he isn't told to, he's going to get punished. 

It's clear that Jay wants to challenge you when he shakes in his seat out of unruliness. It seems as if Jay doesn't believe your warnings, doesn't believe that you'll really punish him if he misbehaves. So, just to prove to him that your words are true and not empty threats, you walk up to Jay and yank his boxers down. Now, Jays dick is exposed to your stare and the cold air, both making Jays length harder. Initially, you had planned to take things easy and paint Jay while he's naked. But now that he's shown you his lack of respect, you're going to kick things up a notch by torturing him. It's a shame you didn't bring a vibrator with you, you could've used it on your brat, but no matter, you have other things planned that'll surely help you tame him.

Taking his dick in your hands, you let a thick glob of your saliva drop down onto his tip, spreading your lubricant around his dick while you jack him off. Jay immediately reacts by bucking his hips into your hand, choking out a surprised moan as he didn't expect for you to touch him so boldly. Despite you clicking your tongue at his actions, you love to see Jay getting desperate. Although your mouth drools at the sight of him fucking your hand while you jack him off, you hold his hips down, planting them on top of the seat as you continue to work on hardening his dick.

"Y-YN." He stutters, voice calling out to you as he closes his eyes and throws his head back in pleasure. "Keep… going."

Loving the reaction Jay's giving you, you gladly fasten the pace of your hand, seeking more of the noises he lets out. "That's it, kitty. Be a good boy and moan for me."

Now, Jay's panting, trying to catch his breath. Opening his eyes, he peeks a glance at you from between his spread legs, only to curse himself off for being so stupid as when Jay thought he could last atleast a few minutes before he blows, it's now cut to mere seconds, the image of you eyeing his dick with hunger making him too horny. "Stop! YN, please. Don't wanna… so soon…"

Hearing his cries, you slow your pace down a bit, grin only widening when you realise how quickly he's getting worked up. You let him recollect himself for a second before resuming back to work. This time, you press the palm of your hand on the tip of his dick. His head is leaking so much precum, it looks like it could amount to the same as your saliva. You collect him in your palm before going back down to the base of his dick. Jay lets out a strangled sob, the pleasure you're giving him feeling too good and despite his attempts to quiet himself down, he's just unable to when you're moving like you know every tick he has. The veins on Jays dick start to come out and it catches your attention so, you take your index finger and trace every vein on his dick with wonder. 

It's not that long before Jay's own high starts building up, and this time he makes it a point to tell you without the intention of stopping. Jay places himself on the edge of his seat, orgasming approaching the faster you jack him off. You focus on his head, taking the head in your fist and circling your wrist. Jays orgasm is right around the corner and before he could reach it, you pull away, leaving him to choke on air while his orgasm dissipates.

You look at Jay with humorous eyes, tongue coming out to lick your lips at the image of him panting heavily with his back leaned onto the chair. When he finally opens his eyes, they're completely drunk. "You're so mean." He pouts, still hung over his ruined orgasm.

Jay looks at you speechless yet again as you never seem to fail to surprise him. He whines, trying to persuade you to come do it to him instead and give up on the painting, but all you do is shut him up, telling him that if he doesn't do as he's told, he's never going to cum.

"I told you to be good." You remind him. "Now, keep touching yourself while I paint you." You command, tossing his dick on his stomach before leaving him to go back and stand in front of your easel.

Noticing the mess on your hand, you smirk before quickly locking eyes with Jay, taking your fingers in your mouth to suck and clean them off as you lick the palms of your fingers. Through that, you got a small whiff of his taste, mouth now watering as you feel your patience running low.

Finally acknowledging your threat, Jay nods his head disappointedly. The boy takes his dick in his hand, finally getting to feel how hard he's gotten and it's painful having to endure more of it. He'll never admit it, but he loves this side of you, loves it when you over power him and boss him around. He'll try to hide his liking for it by misbehaving or by talking back as he knows he'll never hear the end of it if you find out how much he goes crazy for a couple of insulting words from you.

"Go on, big boy. Show me how pretty you are."

And with that, Jay immediately gets to work. Starting off by using the remnants of your spit on his dick, he starts gliding his hand up and down in a slow manner, trying to build up the stimulation so he doesn't get overwhelmed too quickly and cum. From his half opened eyes, he sees a glimpse of you dipping your wide brush onto the circular palette. He's tempted to ask you for a peek as Jay always gets excited whenever you paint him. He feels special whenever he gets to be your muse, often times wanting to do a good job both because it's a portrait of him you're doing and also because he plainly just wants to do his best for you so you could praise him.

It may not seem like it but Jay's a sucker for your praises. It's just masked by how often you scold him for teasing you, but what can the boy do? At this point, teasing is practically his primary love language. He loves the way you react to him when he teases you, how good you are at putting him back in his place. He lives for that shit; annoying you and then paying for it later on. It's an event he won't ever get tired of no matter how often or how long you two do it. 

"Aw, baby." You coo, voice pulling Jay out of his head. 

"Y— ngh, yeah?" He seethes out, dick twitching uncontrollably because of your stare. 

"Your head looks so angry, kitty." You comment, chin nudging towards his direction. 

Indeed, his head is angry and not only that, but his body feels like it's on fire. Your words provide him not a single drop of help with keeping his orgasm at bay, mind only going crazier as he listens to all the dirty words you throw at him. "That's a good boy. You look so hot right now, Jay. Painting you always feels so nice."

With the quickening pace of his hand, Jay can feel how close he is to cumming. His only regret is telling you because the moment he announces that he's about to cum, you tell him to stop.

Despite Jays willingness, his body only abides to your words and thus, he has no choice but to halt his movements. Jay cries out, small tears trickling down the corner of his eyes at having been denied his orgasm twice. With pleading eyes, Jay sends a look of longing towards you, however, it gets ignored as you busy yourself with finishing a rough outline of Jays body. 

He calls out to you like a lost baby, pout only growing as he tries to make himself look cuter, hoping that you'd take pity on him. "Yes, baby?" You ask, head popping up at the side of the canvas to look at Jay.

"I need you, YN.” He answers, hand still wrapped around his dick as he bites down on his lip. The sight of him makes you wet and it's hard to resist him when he looks this amazing.  Because of the sweat, Jays abs are now glistening, the light shining through the window highlighting each pack of his muscle. When Jay pumps his dick, his stomach can't help but clench involuntarily at the stimulation, making it so that his abs flexed at the motion in an arousing manner.

You can't take it anymore, even just the thought of him makes your pussy wetter. All you want to do is plant your hands around Jay and that’s exactly what you're planning to do— after you finish your portrait. Jay doesn’t need to wait longer though. You only need to do a few more messy outlines before finishing. To be honest, when you asked him to sit down and be your muse again, you didn't expect to get technical with all the details, knowing deep down how little self-control you have when it comes to handling Jay. Like him, you just melt with every slightest touch he gives. You’re just better at concealing it.

Finishing off the portrait with highlights on his biceps, you nearly throw both your palette and paintbrush away in a rush to get to Jay. You don't even try to conceal the eagerness in you as you capture Jays lips in yours, turning it into a full on makeout session not even seconds after. A hand comes up to tangle into the strands of his hair, pulling and gripping onto his locks, making Jay grunt as your other hand grazes over curve of his collarbone, nails scratching his skin from time to time, eliciting a moan from the boy under you.

Alas, you’re finally on him and it’s everything Jay has ever wanted. Gone is the poor simulation of you in his mind because it just doesn't compare to the real thing. You haven’t even done much to him and yet he’s already moaning into your mouth like your fucking him. Jay doesn’t care if he looks desperate anymore. He’s waited long enough and now that you’re here, he’s not going to hold anything back.

Jay whines when you leave his mouth, wondering why you’d put him through this misery. He ends up eating his words soon after though when he feels your lips kissing the side of his neck. The kisses you plant are ticklish, making Jay recoil and giggle. Finding him cute, you smile at your boyfriend with adoration, eyes twinkling with love as he continues to laugh when you chase him and dive back into his neck. 

It’s cute for a moment while you plant a mix of short and sweet kisses all over Jays neck. Occasionally, Jay giggles, unable to contain his laughter as he grips on to your hips, making sure that you’re still close to him no matter what. However, the said innocent kisses soon turn into erotic ones when you sit yourself on his lap and right next to his erect penis. You take the same arm that used to be knotted in Jays hair, now placing them on top of his dick. Your lips go back to clash with his, spit mixing with each other as you let him suck on the bottom of your lip. Your hand starts pumping Jays dick at a languid pace, body leaning closer to his so that you’re chest to chest with him. Your free hand rests on top of Jays heart, feeling the rhythm of his heart beneath his skin.

Jay leans his head back, letting you kiss all over his throat. "Mark me."

"What’s the magic word, baby?" You ask, licking a long line on Jays neck.

Moaning, he answers, "Please. Please, YN. Mark me. Wan’ show everyone ’m yours."

"There we go." You tell him, patting his head. "That's a good, kitty." 

As per his request, you start to suck on Jays neck harder with the intent of creating bruises on his skin. Jay thanks you with a loud moan, hand wrapping around your body as he thrusts up into your hand. You plant hickeys all over Jays skin, not forgetting to lick it better afterwards to soothe his abused flesh.

Time goes on with you and Jay just making out with each other, limbs tangling in a desperate attempt to be closer. It’s not enough anymore as both of your bodies start to crave each other harder— not to mention the fact that Jay’s leaking so much into your hand, you’re afraid his dick is going to have a serious issue if he doesn't come sooner. And so, using that as an excuse, you finally stand up to pull your underwear down and hiking the pencil skirt you wore upwards, letting it sit on your waist. 

The boy stares at you with wide eyes filled with wonder, mouth hanging open as he eyes you pussy in front of him.  Noticing his intense stare, you chuckle, finding him adorable even in this state. ‘’You want it, honey?’’

‘’God, yes. Give it to me.’’ Is that even a question? Of course he wants to have a taste of you. It’s all he’s ever been thinking about so, of course he’s going to say yes.

Wrapping his hands around your thighs, Jay pulls you to him abruptly, making you yelp. Spreading your legs apart, Jay slides his nose in between your folds and inhales your scent of arousal. Your hands ravel themselves into Jays hair where you feel his nose bump into your clit. You’re so horny, the slightest touch already has your knees weak.

Jay then gets to work when you push his head towards your cunt, taking that as his signal. His tongue dives into your wetness, immediately groaning against your vagina when he finally gets to taste you. The vibrations made by his mouth sends shocks of pleasure throughout your body, feeling it tingle harsher when Jay starts to lap onto your hole. 

"Jay, baby," You moan, rolling your hips harder into his face.

Unable to talk, Jay replies to you with a hum, pressing his tongue harder and making you buck against his face. Jays pace picks up when he hears the way you’re moaning for him. He wants to hear more, wants to hear how good he is at eating you out. He’s desperate for more so, he shifts his attention from your hole to your clit instead, wanting to see your reaction. When Jay opens his eyes, he had to desperately pray to all the deities in this world just so he could compose himself and not cum at the sight in front of you. There you are, with your back arched, one hand pressed on to the back of his head to keep him place while the other tangles with your own hair. Your face is contorted in pleasure, brows furrowed, eyes closed, and lips caught in between your teeth, Your mouth opens from time to time to give Jay more affirmation, whether it’s in the form of moans, grunts, whines, or words, he doesn’t care, he’ll take what he can get.

"Baby— fuck," You hiss, thighs shaking as you feel your orgasm near. "I’m so close, baby. Keep going."

Only replying with a firm nod and a low hum, Jay fastens his movement onto your clit, circling his muscle around the bud. The action makes you go crazy, hands now gripping on to Jays hair with force as you concentrate on achieving your orgasm. It’s so near that you start shaking, moans growing louder when all of a sudden, everything is ripped away from you. 

Jay backs away from you with a smirk, feeling proud of what he did as he grins at you in a cocky manner despite his mouth and chin being covered by a mixture of his saliva and your wetness. 

You should’ve known that was going to happen. It’s Jays nature to tease you. Plus, you knew he’d get back at you for edging him so many times in the past. The thought just flew out of your head, too focused on the thought of cumming. Frustrated, you tug on Jay's hair, trying to get back at him for what he did. Even though you didn’t get the chance to cum, your thighs are still quivering like they did. 

‘’Hey hey, you can’t get mad at me.’’ He says, backing off while he stays seated on the chair when he sees the way you eye him. ‘’If I don’t cum, you shouldn't either. We should cum together, riiight?’’ He says, dragging out the last word in a teasing voice.

‘’True,’’ You agreed before abruptly pulling him by his hand towards the huge table in the corner of the room. You take your place on top of the table, leaving him there to stand in between your legs. With your thighs spread open, Jay gets a clear view of your leaking vagina as well as your throbbing clit. Jays mouth waters at the sight, feeling enticed to just lean forward and eat you out again. But before he gets to, your legs wrap themselves around him, pulling him forward. His dick presses perfectly into your vagina and it even gets coated with some of your wetness. The two of you moan in unison, both desperate for their release. 

As the both of you can’t wait any longer, you throw him the silver packet that’s been hiding inside your chest pocket, telling him to put it on. Jay does so without complaint, grateful that he’s finally getting some pussy after such a long time. 

He almost can’t believe this is actually happening. He thinks that at any moment now, he’s going to wake up from this wet dream alone and without you. But now is not the time to dwell on such thoughts when you’re literally right in front of him, with your legs spread, eyes keenly watching as he slides the condom on his dick with shaking hands.

Jay lines himself with your cunt, breath quickening as he readies himself for what's to come. It's been awhile since he's done this with anyone, and the nerves are getting to him. Now that the real thing is hereward, all the skills he learned in the past seem to flow out of his head. 

What if he doesn't perform well, would you be disappointed? 

What is he even talking about? Of course you're going to be disappointed. All that talk about wanting to fuck you yet, he can't can't use his dick right.  What kind of woman wants their man to be so incapable? Obviously, not you. Jay can tell from the way you carry yourself that you wouldn't lower your standards for anything other than perfect and yet, here Jay is, your boyfriend.

Still, his baseless doubts doesn't stop plaguing his mind. His breath is shaking, palms starting to sweat as he eyes your entrance. Jay wants to do good, show you that he's worth the risk you took. Jay's not a fool. He knows his reputation around school. That he's a manwhore that gets around by flirting with multiple girls at once. Not only that, but he knows how much you despise the varsity team. Yet, here you are, ready to let him fuck you. It means more to him than you think. You letting him be this close to you means that you trust him enough to show your most vulnerable parts and that just makes Jay even more nervous.

From where you laid, you watch with soft eyes as Jays hands start to shake. Your own hands shooing his off so you can put his dick inside you yourself. "You don't have to be so nervous, baby. Here, let me do it."

Placing the head of his dick inside your vagina, the both of you groan simultaneously. "Jay— fuck. You're so big, kitty."

Hearing you moan his name and compliment him at the same time makes Jays thighs tremble, the feeling of being inside is you is too overwhelming and he feels like his knees are about to fold. Noticing this, you take Jays hands in yours, letting them rest on the bottom of your stomach to provide him with some support. 

He knows you're just trying to help him, but it really isn't working. Placing his hands there is only driving him nuts as once he was able to fully push his whole dick inside you, he got to feel the outline of his length inside when he pressed down on your abdomen.

"I… I can—" Jay's trying his best to talk, he really is, but whenever he tries, it just gets cut off with a sound of a sound of appreciation.

"Yeah, baby?" You chuckle when he fails to complete his sentence. "You feel yourself inside?"

Jay responds with a semi loud sob as he nods his head to your question.

"Take it easy, honey." You tell him, patting his cheek to console the worried boy. "I'm not going anywhere."

You're not going anywhere.

That's when Jay calms down. Hearing you say those words put his thoughts at ease. No matter what happens, you'll be there beside him so Jay shouldn't worry so much about messing up. He has your whole lives to love you, your whole lives to treat you like his queen. It makes Jay realise that he shouldn't be so caught up on trying to be perfect. I mean, he wants to perform well and he knows he'll achieve that when he shakes these invasive thoughts away. Now knowing what to do, Jay shakes to get a grip of himself and before you know it, he's already thrusting his hips into your cunt.

You release a dragged moan, hands pulling Jays head down so the two of you can kiss each other. Angling your head to the side, you put your tongue inside Jay and he gladly sucks on your muscle. Amidst the messy kiss you and Jay share, drool starts to seep past between your lips and pooling down your chin. 

The urge to hold on to something arises and he can only think of your boobs to grip onto. Muttering the request to you, Jay's quick to act as the moment you tell him that he can, he's already ripping your blouse open and tearing your bra down. Jay leaves the sanctuary of your lips, wanting to give your boobs the attention they deserve. Your nipples lay there erect, inviting Jay on to lay his tongue flat on your nub. He licks the skin greedily before sucking on your skin harsher while he busies himself with groping your other breast. 

Both his movements inside you and on your tits are driving your mind crazy and you can't help but scratch your nails onto his broad back, trying to grasp back a sense of reality. His movements are so good and so precise, you can feel yourself slipping between realities. Jay does a good job at finding the spot your crazy for the most as once you start to thrash around under his hold, he knew he was hitting your g-spot, and your boyfriend doesn’t hesitate to abuse it. It only makes you crazier, moans spilling out uncontrollably as it mixes with his own. 

The noises Jay releases are euphoric and you don't hold back from commenting on it. "You sound so pretty, Jay. Keep moaning and I'm gonna cum."

Those words are what fuels Jay to thrust into you with more vigor. It's different from the casual pace he had used on you beforehand. Now, his pace is harder and rougher with the goal of making you cum in his mind. He wants to see you fall apart under him, wants to see the face and the noises you make when he makes you cream on his cock. Jay spreads your thighs apart, wanting to reach a deeper part of you.

Feeling his own high coming, Jay announces, "Wanna cum with you." 

Despite being so close, you nod your head, willing yourself not to cum. Your breath gets caught up in your throat when Jay starts hitting that specific spot inside you faster, making you release a loud moan. "Shit! Right there, honey. You're doing so fucking good. Baby, cum for me."

With the way your pussy's squeezing the entirety of Jays cock, milking him for his release, Jay can't help but go feral, especially when you insert such dirty words through his ear. The sweat on Jays body paints a perfect picture of him, his muscles flexing every time he moves. His thrusts become more frantic and less rhythmic as he feels his high washing over him and before he knew it, he's already gripping both of your breasts in his palm, lips latching on to yours as the both of you cum.

Jays body lurches forwards, making him push his hips deeper. He tucks his head into the crook of your neck, body becoming numb as your skin pressed onto his lips muffle his cries. Jay spurts his cum inside the plastic, some of it even spilling out because of how much he'd cum. After, he lets himself thrust into you at a languid pace, letting the both of you ride off your highs together. 

"I love you, too by the way." Panting, you say, realising you left his confession without an answer. 

He chuckled against your neck and then smiling right after because of how happy he was. "I love you more." He hmphs, egging you on for a challenge.

"Oh, yeah? I doubt it." You reply with a mischievous grin, leaning up to rub your nose against Jays. While doing so, your eyes catch a glimpse of the portrait you had previously made. "Think they’ll still accept your entry even though it’s not me on the picture?’’

Looking at you, your eyes lead him towards where your gaze is focused. He blushes, completely forgetting the naked painting you did just minutes prior. Catching on to what you were saying, Jay jokes, "They better. I need an ego boost after all that torture you put me through."

That day, you created your best artwork while Jay got his ticket to victory.

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[sehodreams]

hiya!! first off wanted to say i love ur blog and i enjoy reading all ur content but esp look out for ur toxic!riize headcanons those are fun haha, i was wondering if and only if ur comfortable with it cuz it’s a little weird.. but thoughts or a drabble about like bully! or toxic! sungchan with plus size!reader but he likes to tease her for her size sometimes but it’s really just to hide how attracted he is to every aspect of her.. idk like only if you’ve got some ideas, that’s all… thank you and i hope you have a great day!

pinching

TW and tags: oral sex (f receiving), bully!Sungchan x plus size!reader, bullying (duh), heavy dubcon.

WC: 1.8k

Comment: thank you so much hahaha, I'm happy that you like my silly content, I love toxic!riize too, to be honest, I also want to write a toxic!sungchan x plus size!reader, I have an idea but I've been so busy I haven't been able to write properly in days, still, i hope you like this bully!Sungchan. Pd: please look at that picture, I imagined him looking like that the whole time.

You have a couple of memories from that place, like how good it felt to hug your grandmother before bed, how there was a little stall in front of your school that always had tasty sweets, and how there was a little boy you used to walk home with after classes finished.

There wasn’t much objection once your mother said you would go back and live together in your grandmother's place to not leave the house empty. You had a couple of friends, but it was nothing special, so you said goodbye to them and moved with your mother without problem.

You had to admit you were even kind of happy, perhaps you could eat those sweets again, and you wouldn’t be able to hug your grandmother, but at least you would feel her presence with the old floors and flower decorations that surrounded every room, and especially, you hoped you could see him again.

You should've known by that point in your life that having expectations only leaves you with the sour aftertaste of disappointments.

The stall wasn’t there anymore, your mother changed the whole house, leaving no trace of your grandmother behind, and the sweet boy that used to follow you with a smile now followed you to make fun of you.

It was easy to recognize him, he had the same eyes and shiny smile, and you were elated to see a good old friend now all grown up into a real man, but he wasn’t as happy to see you there, showing you a disgusted face once you told him who you were.

‘’Don’t fucking talk to me’’ he said, and you didn’t understand what you had done wrong, perhaps you were too confident, or your perfume wasn’t to his liking, or your hand was sweating too much when you touched him, you had no idea why he reacted like that, but you understood that, just like his appearance, he had changed, because that sweet boy you used to know would never talk to you that way.

Just that interaction was enough to make you never want to approach him again, and you tried to not even look at him when you recognized his voice, you didn't want to hear that tone ever again, and you did your best, but it was useless, you had become his new favourite thing.

At first, he was all words and no bite, throwing comments every now and then about your physical appearance, comparing you to a pig when you ate your lunch in the cafeteria, or mocking your uniform for being bigger than normal because of your size.

His friends only laughed at his comments, and those who weren’t his friends stayed silent, no one dared to approach you afraid of receiving the same treatment.

Then, he started to touch you.

He pinched your arm, telling you to give him your homework to copy it, then it was your cheeks, telling you to stop eating if you didn’t want to gain weight, and then, one day, when all of them had left for EP class and you were searching for your towel in your seat, from behind, he pinched your waist.

You turned to him, scared, it had hurt a lot more than when he did it to your cheek, and he definitely had done it with the intention of hurting you.

When you looked at his face, his typical grin wasn’t there, replaced by a surprised face and curious eyes, and you felt that something wrong was about to happen, so you pushed him out of the way and walked out of there as soon as you could without caring that you left with empty hands.

‘’Where’s your towel?’’ your professor asked you.

‘’I forgot it’’ you answered, not wanting to go back to the classroom.

Later, Sungchan arrived with your towel in his hand, and you got punished for not bringing all the obligatory material.

He got worse.

if he crossed you in the hallways, he would shamelessly pinch your waist until you hissed, and when he found you in the library, between shelves, he would pinch your ass, grinning from ear to ear at the picture of you biting your lips to not make a sound and get in trouble again.

As if everything he did was an innocent game, he smiled at you after nipping you in different parts of your body, like the side of your ribcage when you decided to walk away, the back of your hand when you tried to push him or your thighs when he sat beside you in the cafeteria or the study room.

‘’Why are you doing this?’’ you whispered, pushing his hand away from prying under your skirt and pinching your upper leg.

‘’Look at all that skin, your body is begging for it’’ he answered, grabbing your round hand with force to stop you from getting away, and then when you tried to do it again, he pinched the space of your boob that your bra didn’t cover, making you whimper of pain, laughing at your hurt expression.

‘’It really hurts!’’ you tried to reason with him, but he was a lost case, and he didn’t care that you were full of little purple and green spots, flinching at the mere sight of him lurking around, he wanted more.

This is going to end at one point, you tried to fool yourself.

He’d get tired and leave you alone when he found a new toy, it was impossible he only focused on you the whole time, and even if it was like that, it was your last year. After that, you’d never see him again.

Everything has an end.

Your house was the only safe space you had, even if it wasn’t anything like the warm memory you had about it, it was a place that had never been tainted by Sungchan, not like your school or the streets you walked to get there.

He would sometimes follow you and murmur insults while pretending he was your good friend walking you home, but once you opened your door and saw that he stayed feet away, you would exhale, relieved of him not trying to follow you inside too.

‘’Your friend is waiting for you in your room, I’ll go and buy something for you to eat later’’ your mother smiled, ‘’He’s become such a handsome boy’’.

She, unlike you, was excited to have him there, and you, trying to breathe properly to not show how the panic was consuming you, nodded.

There was nothing you could do to run away, it was your house, and opening your door, you saw him calmly looking at your stuff.

Your pillow wasn’t where you left it, he had definitely been roaming around for a while, invading your space and doing whatever he wanted, like he always did.

Standing in front of your bookshelf, one of your books open in his hands, he recognized your presence.

‘’Thought you would never come, didn’t know you took so many walks’’ he said and went through the pages of it, as if there was exactly something he was looking for, ‘’it doesn’t explain why you still look like that though’’.

‘’Sungchan… I’ve done nothing to you’’ you sounded as if you begging at that point, ‘’why… I don’t get why’’.

‘’I have my reasons’’ he answered, leaving the book where it was.

You flinched when he showed the intention of getting close to you, your hands becoming fists, alert, ready to run to another room in case he tried to hurt you again.

‘’We were friends’’ you said, lower lip trembling, ‘’please stop, Sungchan, it hurts’’.

He saw you like that, broken, vulnerable, and he beamed with it, walking towards you, and you thought your body would listen to you and escape, but it didn’t. Closing your door behind you, he pressed the little secure, making you finally react with the sound of the click, trembling in your place.

‘’But if I don’t touch you, who else will?’’ he whispered, taking your shaking hand, not pinching it this time, he interlocked his fingers with yours and pulled you closer to him, ‘’if you’re good, I’ll stop being so hard with you, what do you think about that?’’ he offered.

You didn’t understand, being good with what? You stayed still, looking up at him, your chest pressed against him, and his other hand went to rest over the small of your back, the generous curve from your ass to your waist that was the object of so many of his jokes.

You could see where the thing was going, and you felt yourself get nauseous with his aroma flooding your room and his temperature making you hot with almost no distance between your bodies.

‘’My mom will come back in any second…’’ you didn’t know what other excuse to use.

‘’I’ll be quick’’ his tongue poked out and wet his lips, sending a signal to your brain that screamed just be good and finish it.

‘’Will it hurt?’’ your face betrayed you, plainly showing all the fears you had, giving him, once again, the upper hand.

‘’Not anymore’’ he assured you. His hand that used to bring you so much pain suddenly became gentle and trailed up, caressing your arm with multiple marks from him, groping your chest a few times before he cupped your face. You didn’t make a single sound, not the hiss you always left out when he pinched you, or the cry when he was being too much, ‘’well done’’ he praised you when you let him open your thighs with his leg.

He quickly found his place, your pants were somewhere in your room, and his head was between your trembling legs, slurping all the involuntary wetness your body made you drip to accept him and not suffer.

Not being able to say his name properly, you moaned when his palms gripped your meaty thighs a bit too hard and his tongue found your entrance, bumping his nose against your clit between your plump folds, making you squirm at the intense sensation of him eating you out like a hungry man.

Your hands went to his hair, and you don’t know what flooded you, but you felt free to hurt him too, so you pulled his hair and moved your hips to crash his face, using him instead of the way around.

Then it felt good, to hurt him felt really good, and you thought, maybe this is why he does it, because you had never felt so powerful and in control before, especially with him.

Looking down, you two made eye contact even with your chubby stomach prodding out. His eyes had nothing of the mockery they always showed, completely lost instead, and you whimpered when he seemed pleased to have you focusing on him and what he was doing.

Not much after he started fucking you with his tongue the knot in your stomach started to feel so tight you knew it would snap in any second, so closing your large legs around his head, you crushed his head as much as you could while cumming, overflowing over his mouth and nose, asphyxiating him for a few seconds before you relaxed and finished giving him all you had.

He didn’t move away, gulping your juices and then moving his mouth up to leave a loving peck on your clit, as if he was proud you had abused him like that, and before he caught his breath again, he talked. ‘’See? This didn’t hurt’’ he smiled with the lower half of his face glistening with your orgasm.

#riize x plus size reader #riize smut #sungchan smut #riize hard thoughts #riize hard hours

[famwhy]

Right Way Up (01)

Stranger Things

Yandere! Steve Harrington X F!Reader, Yandere! Eddie Munson X F!Reader, Yandere! Billy Hargrove X F!Reader

Synopsis: You always hated when your favourite characters died in shows or movies; always longed to have the opportunity to save them. So when you're transported into one of your favourite shows of all time, what else are you supposed to do besides save your beloved characters?

Warnings: Threat/violence, Gore, Mentions of sexual content (implicit), Death, Manipulation, Depictions of toxic relationships, Drugs and alcohol abuse

prev part. masterlist. next part.

01. bring unto me persistence

enter: eddie "the freak" munson

"EASY, boy, easy."

You took a step back.

It took a step forward.

"How about we talk about this, hm?" It kept going. "Maybe you want a treat, yeah? Do you want a treat?"

A growl and yet another step towards you.

It would pounce any moment now, you were sure of it. It was already baring its teeth at you, no doubt looking to sink them into your flesh and make you its next meal. 

The thought was enough to cause you to jerk in your spot and shudder.

Unfortunately for you, that jerk was also enough for the beast to pounce and—before you even knew it; could even blink and register what was happening—a sharp pang shot through your arm.

You hissed.

It got you.

Dozens of its teeth were latched onto your skin, digging in enough to draw blood and create a stream of crimson that ran down your arm, coating the limb in a sticky, warm substance that blew your eyes wide upon sight. 

"Fuck."

Molten lava rushed straight to your brain and set your nerves ablaze, panic settling in much faster than sensibility could. All you could think about was getting this goddamn thing off of you.

You thrashed your arm about, swinging it around like a maniac as the beast stubbornly clung on. Each second it stayed on, was another second your nerves heightened and your heart convulsed.

It was becoming too much. You had to get. it. off.

Before you even knew it, your other fist launched into its side—an action that was more instinct than anything; the need to survive pumping you with higher levels of adrenaline than you were used to, but boy were you glad it did, because—to your utter surprise—the beast's body flung through the air and landed across the yard within seconds.

Your arm was free.

You wasted no time—one foot propelling the other: and you were gone, rushing to the open shed as the wind became your enemy, turning into sharp, cutting blades against your skin; desperate to hinder you in your quest to get to safety.

With the harsh pounding of your own heart against your ears, you almost couldn't hear the steps that followed after your own. But they were there. And they were right on you.

"Stupid dog! Ugh!"

The shed was right there. Just a few feet away. You could make it. You would make it.

There was no way you were making it into the Stranger Things world and dying before meeting any more of your favourite characters.

"Not today, fucker!"

With a sudden burst of confidence, your speed amplified and your foot launched forward in a bigger leap than you had ever performed in your life. The snapping of a jaw entered your eardrums not long after and sent another shudder down your spine. You just narrowly avoided a missing leg, no doubt. If you didn't hurry up, a missing limb would be the least of your worries.

Luckily for you, the shed was now only mere centimetres away.

Your fingers stretched out, winding around the door as you pushed through, slamming it shut as soon as all your limbs were on the other side, and throwing your body up against it with all you had.

Safe. You were—

The thought was cut off by a slam against your back, one that caused you to jerk forward with a wince. But, as soon as your behind was met with the empty air, you pushed straight back against the door.

Another slam. Another jerk. Another push. Again and again and again.

It was relentless, pounding on the door like a wild animal and leaving you no time to rest—which was really starting to take its toll on your health, by the way. Your ribs literally felt like they were closing in on your lungs as your panting grew shorter and sharper and—

Holy crap. You were shaking. And bleeding—oh god, so much blood.

The floor slowly seeped from chestnut to maroon to crimson the closer it got to your trembling form—a puddle formed around your ankles; one that was quickly expanding as the clock ticked by.

"This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real—"

But it was. And it hurt so much.

The banging continued.

"Fuck off!"

God, you felt like pulling at the roots of your hair and crying your eyes out.

Calm down, Y/N. Stand your ground and cover your wound. Do you want to end up bleeding to death? No: the answer was no.

And so—with eyes squeezed shut so tight, your lids almost melded together—you let out a shaky breath and redirected your uninjured hand to the bottom of your shirt. It creased as your fingers wound around it, clenching while you mentally prepared yourself for what you were about to do.

Would it be painful? Yes. Was it necessary for your survival? Absolutely. You just wished that you didn't have to face off against a creature with such vicious attack patterns while this injured.

"Here goes nothing."

In one fell swoop, you rid your upper body of the feeling of cotton against your skin.

Searing, white, hot pain exploded against your side and you winced, gritting your teeth against each other with a hiss. Your arm felt like it was on fire; smothered in flames that were further kindled the longer you stared at the indents on your skin.

Why did it grow so much more painful when you looked at it?

You resorted to turning your attention away from the wound—opting to, instead, place it on your shirt; if only to keep the pain at bay. 

Come on, Y/N. You got this. Just a little more.

With a deep intake of breath, you clenched your hand into a fist, scrunching up the school shirt before you draped it over the wound, watching as it grew soggy, icky, and oh-so-disgusting—yeah, you were never using that shirt again.

One more suck of air between your teeth came along with a pull from your uninjured hand and, suddenly, the harsh, red stream that flowed out of you was put to a rather painful halt. You winced.

Hopefully, it wouldn't grow infected.

Now that your wound was wrapped up, you could focus on getting that little shit away from you.

Okay, so there were quite a few things in this shed that you could use as a weapon. Though, your options were limited to those you could reach (for obvious reasons) so that ruled out the huge—and tremendously tempting—chainsaw at the back.

Speed. Mobility. Strength. You had to take it all into account if you wanted to make it out of this situation alive. That meant you had to pick out a weapon that was heavy enough to cause damage but not enough so that you would be incapable of wielding it.

Your eyes scanned the room and the shining metal of a razor-sharp saw stared back at you, closer to where you were than the aforementioned variant of the weapon—but also much heavier looking than said tool.

No. Not that.

Another rather long, weirdly-shaped weapon was caught by your peripheral and your head whipped to the right, gaze falling on the chipped wood of the wall that hung behind the object your eyes picked out. Metal knob on its back to help adjust its clamp, teeth that were sharp enough to be able to give it a sturdy grip, long handle made to allow a clean twist with as little effort as possible.

Perfect.

Your hand reached out and the tip of your fingers met with the ice-cold surface of the material that made up the wrench. Then, with a little push, its new home was your warm grasp.

A slam.

Your chest heaved up and down.

Deep breaths, Y/N. Calm yourself, still your heart, and beat the crap out of that little monster.

And so you waited. You waited until you had the pattern of slams against the wooden door memorised. You waited until the jerks against your sore back weakened in their strength. You waited until the perfect opportune moment presented itself at your fingertips—

—and you seized it right when it did.

The door swung open and your wrench struck at the thing's side within mere moments of each other; a rush of pure adrenaline filtering out the searing sting of your wounded arm. It howled in pain, but this time—you were the relentless one.

Strike after strike. Hit after hit. You pounded it with your weapon and it roared, screeching in pain; in agony you hoped was so deep, it wouldn't dare think of approaching you again.

One particular strike sent it across the yard once more—though it was quick to get back up and, upon getting up, it stayed still, pointed head facing your blood-coated form instead of pouncing like it had before.

What was it doing?

Your heart lurched in your throat and your head pounded against your skull, making it feel like your eyes were about to fall out from the sheer amount of willpower you were exuding. 

Your stance was defensive, hands wound tightly around the wrench held over your head as your knuckles began to lose colour. But if anyone looked closer, they'd notice the way your hands lightly shook, unable to stay steady for even just a few seconds; the way your nostrils flared as you tried your damndest to ignore the flames that scorched your arm with pure agony; the way your breaths left your mouth at crooked, uneven intervals.

You were scared. 

Rightfully so. You could die here. This pain, this fear; it was all real. It wasn't some dream you could wake up from—you knew that now.

You were in danger: actual, real, terrifying danger.

And it was all because of some dog.

Your eyes stayed trained on the lanky beast, fingers readjusting themselves around your weapon as you planted your feet and tensed your muscles, preparing yourself for another bout. 

It stayed still, and if it had eyes, you were sure they would be narrowed into slits at you.

For a while, nothing happened. It was just you and that monster, the world practically fading away around you; dissipating into irrelevance as all you could do was focus on your potential killer before you.

Then—it ran. But, surprisingly, not towards you—no, it ran away from you.

Why did it—?

"Y/N? The hell's taking so—?"

Ah, so that was why.

You turned, gaze finally landing on another, actual human being rather than a stupid demodog.

It was the same guy who sent you to the shed in the first place, stood there with his mouth slightly hung open and his greasy, H/C strands falling over his face awkwardly.

You assumed you had to look at least a little bit worse for wear for him to have cut himself off as soon as his eyes landed on your form, huh?

"Shit, why are your eyes red?"

Ah, so you were crying.

Your eyes shut, head tilting down before, suddenly, your shivering form was seized in a grip so warm and tight and secure, you couldn't help but loosen the tension you didn't even know was still in your shoulders.

The man cursed harshly before he addressed you—in a tone much softer than any you heard him use before—"hey, hey, it's okay..."

The soothing circles he began to rub against your back were the final straw and you blew up. A stream of salty water ran straight down your cheeks—soaking up the already-soggy shirt strapped to his chest in your fear and sorrow. 

The scent of sweat and BO entered your nostrils but in that moment, you couldn't bring yourself to care. It felt comforting, almost; like you could let loose and you would have the constant reassurance of his presence being there; of him hearing you; that he was listening.

But you knew—you knew you couldn't tell him anything.

The tears grew harsher.

"Hey... what happened..?" 

You shook your head.

"Alright, that's fine, we don't have to talk about it. Let's get inside and properly wrap up this wound, yeah?"

A sniffle and a little nod.

He slowly began walking towards the house and your nails dug into his shirt, holding onto it like it was your last lifeline; like you would die if you were to let go. And honestly, you really believed you would.

Soon, you were hit with a wave of warmth, and it made you realise just how cold it was outside. The chattering of your teeth became so much more prominent—you almost couldn't believe you didn't notice it before.

Your sudden pattern of noticing things didn't end there either—the awful throb of your arm made sure of that.

"Hurts..." you whimpered.

His head tilted down, the corners of his eyes loosening up. "Shit."

Then, another voice pierced through the room.

"The hell's the door open for? It's—"

The man holding you averted his eyes and you found yourself trailing his gaze, hues landing on yet another sweaty guy with knuckles wrapped up similarly to the way yours were. 

"What happened?"

"Go get a first aid kit, idiot," hissed the one holding you.

Then, the exposed skin of your thighs was placed upon another bit of soft and plush material but, unlike earlier on, you couldn't bring yourself to bounce on it. The pain in your arm was too prevalent; too distracting.

"Bite this—" the fibres of a soft cloth met your lips, "—it'll help with the sting.

"Oh and, put down the wrench, will ya?" 

You didn't even notice you were still holding it.

Your teeth clamped down on the material and the sudden absence of metal in your hands made you feel empty and vulnerable. You were rendered defenceless—if that thing decided to attack again, you would be screwed.

Had it not been for the sudden breeze that flew over your previously-covered arm, you were sure you would have spiralled into a pit of negative thoughts that would chew your body up and spit your mangled corpse back out. Instead, however, you were unfortunately reminded of the potentially infected injury you harbored.

"Damn, that's a nasty wound," pointed out one of the two men.

"You're not exactly helping here, Curt." The other, the one patching you up, lightly scolded.

Curt merely ignored him. "Was it an animal attack?"

You sensed the questioning pairs of eyes that landed on your face and nodded, awarding them with at least some level of a response.

"Maybe we should go to the hospital and get it checked out?"

The hospital? You didn't have time for that.

"No. I don't need to go to the hospital." 

"You sure? This is pretty—"

"I don't need to go to the hospital."

They both shared a glance (with something you couldn't quite make out swirling in their hues) before their eyes wandered back to your seated form. You felt small under their gaze; weak like some sort of wounded puppy. It was awful. How was a wounded puppy meant to survive the world of Stranger Things?

"Alright, let's patch you up first, then we can talk."

The unnamed man tossed your ruined shirt over to Curt, who caught it effortlessly, before taking out a bottle from a first aid kit. Soon, the clear lid popped open and you could feel your eyes prick with more tears, watching as a stream flowed out; one that dripped straight onto the dried-up, red indents on your skin.

Your teeth sank into the cloth as the raging flames in your arm grew, rising to an unbearable agony that had you screaming through the material in your mouth. It muffled your ear-shattering screeches; kept you quiet and unable to voice your displeasure—just like how you couldn't—

"Agh! Watch it!" 

"Sorry." He gave you a small smile you could only describe as apologetic before going back to wrapping your arm in bandages, ignoring the spat-out cloth on your lap.

"Y/N." Your eyes wandered over to the only one standing in the room. "We need to get this checked out, what if the animal had rabies or something? It could be serious."

"It's not. I'm fine."

The one closest to you scoffed. "'Fine' my ass. You screamed into that cloth."

You narrowed your eyes. "I don't need to get a check up."

"Fine—" he gave you a pointed look, "—but! You have to take at least a few days off. You are not going to school this injured. Not on my fucking watch."

Not going to school? In your world, that would've made you throw your arms up in nothing but pure joy and excitement—maybe even dance around singing like a maniac. In this world, however, it was less than ideal. You still had to figure out where exactly you stood with Steve and many other characters here—school was your gateway to that.

"But—"

"No buts, missy. I'm your older brother, what I say goes."

Maybe a few days to properly process your situation would do you good. This whole... thing was still so insane to you. Now that you were actually sat down and not fighting a weird hybrid between a beast and a dog, it only grew to seem ten times more perplexing. You couldn't wrap your head around it.

Though, there was one thing you were certain of: this wasn't a dream. A dream had no way of emulating what you just went through. No. fucking. way.

"Hey." 

You blinked, turning to see Curt stood by a yellow box attached to the wall with a rather curly wire protruding from the bottom.

"What's Harrington's number again?"

Your mind drew a blank. "I don't know."

He rose a brow. "Don't you have it memorised or something?"

"Uh,"—shit—"I can't remember..."

He gave you a look that, in your delusional mind, seemed a little bit like suspicion but was probably just a weird look that wouldn't lead to anything... right?

"Oookay," he drawled out.

"Why?"

"He picks you up, doesn't he?" He said it like it was the most obvious thing ever—which, granted, it would be if you were actually from this world. "We gotta tell him you won't be going to school for a bit."

"Hang on," the eldest brother (you still hadn't caught the name of) piped up, "I've got it here."

"Well? What're you waiting for? Say it."

He recited the number from the book in his hands and you watched with fascination as Curt punched it in before taking the curved shape hanging off the box and pressing it to his ear.

"This Harrington?"

A pause.

"It's Curt, just calling to let ya know that Y/N won't be coming in to school for a couple o' days so you don't need to worry about picking her up."

Another pause and cue Curt's face scrunching up a little in annoyance.

"Dude, calm down, she's—"

He cut himself off before clicking his tongue and pulling the phone away from his ear, saying—"you talk to him,"—and handing it off to the elder.

"Steve, hey, it's Cain—"

So that was his name.

"—Y/N's fine, she just isn't feeling too well so I'm having her stay home for a bit."

Yet another pause had you anxiously playing with your bottom lip, biting down on it with scrunched brows as your nails dug into your skirt, creasing the fabric in your anticipation.

Several moments passed by with Cain not saying a word into the phone—it lasted so long, in fact, you were wondering whether or not the call had ended and he was just standing there for the sake of it. You were proved wrong, however, when he started making his way over to your seated form and extended the yellow device towards you, mouthing 'he wants to talk to you'.

Your fingers curled around the metal. "Hello?"

"Y/N?!" The voice of Steve Harrington came out booming from the other side, concern laced so prominently in his tone, you could almost see his face contorted in it. "Are you okay?! What happened?!"

His worry was kinda cute.

"I'm fine, Steve." A small bubble of laughter left your lips. "Just a bit sick, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm."

"Hold on, I'm coming over right now."

"Woah, woah, woah. No need for that. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" The tone of his voice took you back to when you were gazing into his eyes at the school; the intensity and care still clearly ingrained in your mind; still leaving you with a warm feeling coating your stomach.

"Yes, Stevie, I'm sure."

A few moments of silence passed before—

"Stevie?" You froze. "That's..."

"Uh, forget I—"

"Cute."

"Huh?"

"It's cute, pretty girl," his voice practically cooed from the other line.

And his words—oh, his words—you were practically swooning in your spot from the nickname, hands making their way up to curl the phone line between your fingers with a growing smile situating itself on your face.

No. Bad Y/N. Don't get distracted. He's got a girl, remember?

You cleared your throat. "Anyway, um, I'm fine, okay Steve? I'll uh, see you sometime soon."

"...okay."

"Bye."

"See ya."

You practically threw the phone over to Curt—who still stood by the box—fumbling around on the couch as you sat up straight before taking a look around the room to distract yourself from... whatever that was.

Cain had left, probably not for long seeing as he seemed like the responsible big brother type, so it was just you and Curt. 

A TV sat before you, one blocky and heavy with an incredibly small screen and antennas sticking out the top. In the corner, a cylinder hung from the ceiling, parts of its material sunken into and chipped away at; looking to be quite beat up. A bright pair of large gloves sat next to it, tempting you to put them on and have a go at the hanging bag.

"Here—" you blinked, looking down. A shirt was tossed onto your lap, interrupting your little observation session, "—wear this. You've been shivering for a while now."

The rest of the day passed by with both males doing their best to stay by your side and keep you company; from always making sure at least one of them was with you, to both of them sitting beside you to watch a movie at night—it was nice. The attention was certainly something you weren't used to but—it was nice.

It stayed that way for the next few days; the doting, the concern, the care—you were smothered in it, so much so, you found yourself unable to breathe sometimes. To top it all off, Steve made sure to call three or four times a day to check up on you; each time insisting he come visit and each time being rejected.

It was all overwhelming, to say the least. But, it did provide you with enough time to gather your thoughts and decipher where exactly you stood in this world.

For starters, you had two older brothers (obviously). It was kinda surreal, to be honest. You used to be an only child so to go from being in constant solitude to having two older, doting siblings was... strange. 

Another thing, you were Steve Harrington's childhood best friend. It was safe to assume that with how he seemed to worry and fret over your health and sometimes—dare you say it—even put you before his own girlfriend. Your... brothers also seemed quite familiar with him and how he always seemed to take you to and fro school.

That led onto your next point, you were a new character. You were pretty sure Steve never had a female best friend he knew since childhood—especially not one close enough to him where he would disregard Nancy completely when they were in the room. So, this wasn't a scenario where you replaced a character—instead, the world seemed to have changed in order to fit you into it.

Unfortunately, those three conclusions were the best you could do with the little knowledge you had at your disposal while on house-arrest.

Fortunately, your house-arrest was officially over.

"Remember—"

"I know, I know." You rolled your eyes. "Stay out of fights and no practice for the next few days."

"I mean it, Y/N!"

You continued towards the building. "I know!"

As soon as you walked in, all eyes were on you—and that's when you came to your next conclusion. You were popular.

It was simple math, really—captain of the cheerleaders? friends with King Steve? presence and absence turning heads?—there was no other explanation.

"Y/N!"—speaking of King Steve—"you're back!"

Your lips parted, a greeting forming at the very tip of your tongue when—instead of an actual, coherent sentence—a squeak escaped your mouth.

Strong, sturdy arms had wrapped themselves around your form, engulfing you in a hug that poured out such intense emotions—it had you struggling to breathe (well, that and the fact that he was squeezing you really tight).

Speaking of squeezing you really tight—

"Ack! Steve!" You winced.

He immediately drew back, brows scrunched up the same way they had on the first day you arrived here—when he gazed at you with that fierce, tender look of care and worry all mixed into one. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Your voice came out strained and boy did you regret it.

He definitely could tell something was up and with another squeeze on your arms from him, you feared to have confirmed his theory when you winced.

"Yeah?" His lips pulled down as he spoke blandly, not falling for your bullshit for a second. Then, he began to slowly reach for the sleeve of your bright jacket until—

"I'm fine, Steve!"

His eyes widened as you quickly yanked yourself away from his grasp. Then, brown brows furrowed and this time, you could tell it wasn't from concern—no—but rather; hurt.

Your heart constricted. "I'm sorry. I just— I've gotta get to class."

The crowd parted for you as you sped away from your best friend, ignoring his frantic calls for you to come back; to listen and talk to him—but how could you? How could you talk to him when he wouldn't be able to understand?

You had a valid reason for running away—or at least, you thought you did. If you told him what happened—let him know of the demodog attack too early—who knew what would happen to the plot? Something unpredictable, something life-threatening. You couldn't tell him. Better to be safe than sorry.

Stop. Quit dwelling on it. You have class, remember?

Now... where the hell was your class? Better yet, what class did you even have at the moment?

You probably should've planned this out better.

Did you even have a—?

"Woah, woah, woah, sorry. Didn't mean to bump into you."

You blinked, eyes widening a fraction more than usual as you gazed on in partial disbelief.

There, stood before you, was a guy in a sleeveless denim jacket; both of his hands raised up in a typical 'surrender' motion. His hair was long and wild; frizzy and curly. It was like a Lion's mane—a rather iconic Lion's mane, one you definitely recognised.

Holy shit.

It was Eddie Munson.

@bdudette, @tanyaherondale, @killerqueenfan

#x reader #stranger things #female reader #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere male #yandere male x female reader #yandere x you #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove x you #yandere steve harrington #yandere eddie munson #yandere billy hargrove #.right way up

[adventuringblind]

“My Favorite Sainz”

Carlos Sainz x sister!reader & Charles Leclerc x Sainz!Reader (can be read as platonic or romantic)

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

Request: yes! I hope this is what you were thinking! My requests are open so please send your ideas!

Summary: Carlos has a new girlfriend, one who obviously didn’t care much to get to know him. When his sister starts getting bullied by her, it’s time for someone to step in.

Warnings: toxic behavior, bullying, social media being poison

Notes: written in third person. Kinda short compared to my other fics.

Masterlist

She was definitely more private than her brother. All her socials set to private. She only used her last name if it was necessary. So it didn’t shock her that her brothers new girlfriend didn’t know they were related.

Most of the staff around the Ferrari garage knew. Simply because Carlos was so excited when she finally decided to come to the paddock that he introduced her to everyone as “my baby sister,” much to her dismay.

The Leclerc family was instantly warm towards her. She liked teasing both Carlos and Charles. If she wasn’t with Carlos, she was probably with Charles.

When Carlos mentioned he was going on a date with a model, her and Charles teased him. It went on for months until he finally let the two meet her at the paddock during a race weekend.

It was obvious that the woman didn't care much to get to know him. The younger Sainz picked up on the way she practically ignored him when he spoke.

She pointed it out to him a few times but was just dismissed. Thankfully, Charles also saw it and reassured his favorite Sainz that she wasn't crazy.

Carlos simply pointed out that she didn't know her and that since she's a model, she deals with media and interactions differently.

She felt hurt by his words. Why didn't he see what she did?

Then the jealousy started.

Being a sister obviously meant being there for Carlos when things came up. No matter the result, it became routine for her to find him after races and slather him in sibling affection.

Depending on his mood, he’d either bat her away playfully or let console him. It was one of these moments that someone took a picture of. The culprit was Carlos’ girlfriend. She knows because she watched her take a picture with the flash on.

She let it be though. Maybe she thought it was cute.

The reality of what was really going on set in when she woke up that morning to the image circling the internet. Gossip articles claiming Carlos to be a cheater and her to be a slut.

Was it that difficult to want privacy? She wanted to watch her brothers races in peace. Do her job without interference from fans. Now, her want to remain unnoticed was the cause of drama for Carlos.

She tried to keep it to herself. Tried to let it all go because she knew the truth. But the fans were getting out of hand. They’d dug up photos where she appears with other drivers. Charles in particular.

As the words they used got stronger, she found herself struggling with how to cope.

She tried to talk to her brother about, but he’d just said he hadn’t seen anything and not to pay any mind to the haters.

It didn’t surprise Charles to see her at his door the following afternoon. Carlos had called him saying he couldn’t understand what was going on. Charles didn’t really know either. But when he saw the tears in her eyes, he knew it wasn’t good.

“What can I do for my favorite Sainz?”

~

Charles made a mental note that day to talk to Carlos, but he could never find a good opportunity to do so. In the meantime, he tried to help get rid of any rumors sounding the two.

She had bigger things to deal with then fans. Mostly the now very aggressive comments that came from a certain model. She was constantly telling her to back off.

“Can’t you take a hint?”

“I’m his-“

“I don’t care what you are, leave us alone.” She sneered. Again not bothering to listen to what anyone had to say.

Carlos had started noticing that both his sister and friend had been pulling away from him. He wanted to get to the bottom of it. But his girlfriend always placed herself between him and any answers. It was starting to become frustrating for the Spaniard.

~

This weekend she was going to celebrate Carlos’ birthday. He’d planned a large party at his apartment. She knew who was going to be there and almost decided in feigning sickness. She couldn’t do that to her brother, though. She’d just do her best to avoid any sort of spectacle.

When she arrived, the anxiety had already set in. More pictures. More words. More confrontation. She hated what this had done to her.

She takes a deep breath, opens the door, and immediately looks for her brother. He was easy to spot in the sea of bodies. Thankfully he spotted a her as well and pushed past the group to get to her.

He embraced her and planted a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m so happy you’re here! I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever!”

She lets out an airy laugh. “We just saw each other last week and you said I was the worst sister of all time.”

“You ate my food.”

“You didn’t label it yours.”

The conversation was quick but she was relieved to be on her own again. No sight of anyone sneaking pictures of her or wanting to start anything. She made small talk with a few friends and family members. Then decided a drink was necessary if she was going to get through this party without passing out from the anxiety.

Before she made it to the bar, someone had snagged her wrist. Her body being dragged through people into the hallway. The two now secluded and away from earshot if any of her friends.

“How many times to I have to tell you? Stay away from him.” She could smell the alcohol on the woman’s breathe. She didn’t want there to be a scene. Not tonight.

She looked for a way to escape since words would do nothing. Being pinned to the wall by her shoulders was not helping her options.

~

Charles had arrived a few minutes ago. She had texted him before the party started admitting her nerves. He promised to find her as soon as he got there, but she was nowhere to be found.

Eventually he ran into Carlos. They greeted each other with a hug and a course of happy birthdays from the monegasque.

“Have you seen your sister anywhere?” He asked. His concern for the younger Sainz only growing as he’d yet to see her.

Carlos looked at him in confusion. “I was hoping you would know.”

The two split off to find her. Looking in places where you may have gone to get away.

Charles found himself down a hall that looked relatively quite. Until he heard the slurred words of a familiar female. He peeked around the corner and saw the girl he was looking for being held by the shoulders against the walls. Eyes glazed over like she wasn’t present.

Charles jumps out from around the corner and clears his throat. “There’s my favorite Sainz! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

The model and the monegasque stare at each other as one slowly releases her into the arms of the other. Carlos peaks around the corner in confusion. Not understanding why his sister was shaking, his girlfriend looked like she might punch Charles, and Charles looks like he’s going to run away with his sister.

“I’m so tired of this!” The mode, finally scream out. Loud enough for anyone nearby to stop what they’re doing. “Did you marry her or something now too?!”

Carlos deadpans and Charles starts laughing. The model only continues her monologue. “She’s a slut and want all your attention all the time, Carlos!”

Now they’ve switched. Carlos looks like he might punch the wall and Charles expression immediately deadpans.

“Get out.” Carlos spits. His voice firm and determined.

“What?-“

“I see what’s been going on now. Nobody gets to disrespect my family.”

“Your sister?”

The model begins fumbling around in confusion and embarrassment. Not knowing how not understanding what anyone was trying to tell her. Someone made sure she was escorted out.

Carlos thanked Charles for stepping in and helping his little sister. She smiled at her brother. “Never doubted you for a second.” She chuckles.

After she is in the safety of her own home, she sighs heavily. Charles had brought her up and walked her inside to make sure she was ok after everything that happened.

She almost tackled him with her surprise hug and muttered a ‘thank you’ into his chest.

He embraced her back. Whispering “of course, anything for my favorite Sainz.”

#x reader #fanficion #f1 fic #formula one #angst #formula 1 #racing #f1 fanfic #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #Sainz reader #sister reader #fluff #hurt/comfort #platonic Carlos Sainz x reader #charles lechair #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc fic #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #cl16 #cs55 #ferrari formula one #ferrari #ferrari racing #scuderia ferrari

[qierxing]

Fathoms Below

Commissioned by the amazing rainbowsillz

TW/CW: Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy coping mechanisms and mindsets, Blackmailing, Threats of Violence Yan!Azul x Mer! Reader

You're not exactly a go-getter.

It's not in your species' nature to be so, when one of your greatest strengths is to simply go with the flow and see where the sea currents take you. Even in the darkest trench, you'll always find a way through (using your handy glow in the dark biology).

It is, however, just like you to be curious when the waves take you to the next interesting destination. 

This shipwreck must be recent. Last time you were here, you don't recall broken masts and a proud figurehead buried in the sand here. You float along while examining the wreckage with a meticulous gaze. The glimmers of buried jewelry here and there don't interest you. No, you have no interest in such trinkets.

There's a gaping hole within the port side, jagged wood ripped into razor sharp teeth revealing the insides. It's dark and cloudy with mud and debris, but that's no issue for you. Rot and time have claimed the interior, but there's still some items that survive. As you swim closer, you discover quite a few things littering a toppled desk. 

There's a glass bottle that is scratched and covered in dirt but still intact. Within, there's parchment rolled up, perfectly preserved and safe from the salt waters. You tuck the bottle away in your bag, making sure it's snug inside so there's no chance it would fall out. Another cursory glance has you catching a curious metal object, no bigger than a clam shell, with strangely colored needles inside. You decide to also pocket it, just in case it turns out to be useful.

All in all, it's a fruitful exploration that has you quite satisfied. You are tempted to continue, but the rays of light are already dimming above into sunset, and your parents would not be happy about having to spend hours finding you again, especially not in a new unfamiliar area.

But just as you're almost to the colony where your family has settled down, you hear some strange sounds. Mischievous laughter mixed with crying has you turning your head in mild confusion. Following the commotion, you find a clearing with a large metal pot, surrounded by several other merfolk. You vaguely recognize them as your neighbors, their faces somewhat flickering in your memory. 

"What's so funny?" The quiet question has them turning around in panic, surprised by your unexpected presence. There's some awkward coughs and furtive glances exchanged between the gaggle.

A nearly unnoticeable teary sniffling has you glancing at the pot, realizing someone must be inside. When your suspicious eyes meet the clique's again, their faces sour as they sheepishly swim away, clearly annoyed they were deprived of their fun. 

It doesn't take much to piece two and two together. Sighing, you wait for a moment, then two, but nothing else happens. The mysterious sniffling has stopped but there is no sign of them being willing to leave the dark pot.

The calls of your parents carry on the currents, lulling you back home. You chance another indifferent glance back before swimming off towards home.

—

Apparently, the metal circular item you found is called a ‘compass’ by humans. According to your father, at least. When you pester him more about it, he shrugs and says that human sailors would use it to find their way on their voyages. The red needle would supposedly point you to your path. That was the only thing he knew about it.

You’re absolutely delighted with this fascinating discovery. So much so, that you can barely contain your excitement during class to go and test your gadget. 

"[First] [Last], are you listening?!" You let out a shocked yelp at your compass being swiped away by another finned hand. Your teacher peers down at you with disapproval in her beady eyes. The compass glints in her claws, just out of reach. 

"Pay attention to the lesson. You can retrieve your toy tomorrow." And with that, you watch sullenly as she swims away with your treasure. Snickers echo around you from your classmates but you ignore them, propping open your notebook in annoyance. The day seems longer without your compass in hand, but finally, the bell rings and class is over for the day.

The rest of your classmates waste no time swimming out the door, chattering about plans and playdates and what not, but you still remain in your seat, vindictive and resentful. 

"I can't even test out that compass until tomorrow." You slump over and your head hits the coral slate with a dull thud. Ms. Ulyana can be so stingy sometimes. Besides, you already knew everything taught in the magical theory section today.

"Excuse me?" You don't bother raising your head, still moping about the loss of your precious gadget. 

"What." You're not in the mood to be made fun of or exchange polite conversations at the moment.

"Isn't this yours?" You sit up abruptly, and see a young octopus mer holding the compass in his hands. You vaguely remember him sitting in the back of the room, hunched over his notebook, his glossy silver locks covering his face. 

"How did you…?" He smiles faintly with mischief flickering in his pupils.

"Octo-mers are great at camouflage, did you know?" The boy shrugs casually, setting down the gadget in front of you. “And…” He starts mumbling, fidgeting nervously with his fingers where you can’t hear him. 

“Er, what did you say? I didn’t catch that.” You awkwardly interject. 

“It’s….it’s thanksforhelpingmeout!” He blurts out quickly. This time, you hear him perfectly clear and stare at him in mild confusion. When did you help him out? You wrack your brains but come up empty. Instead of embarrassing him by denying it, you just nod along.

“Well, still, thanks. I’ve been waiting all day to try this out.” You grin. “You’re the coolest, uh…”

“A-Azul. Azul Ashengrotto.”

“You’re the best, Azul,” You hold out a confident hand. “I’m [First]. Wanna be friends?”

He hesitates, eyes staring intensely at your open palm offered. “Y…You want to be friends with me?”

You tilt your head. “I think anyone willing to get into trouble for me is worth befriending.”

“Even if…I’m just a crybaby and octo-twerp?” His lower lip trembles, teary voice nearly cracking.

“Who called you that?!” You put your hands on your hips, raising a tentacle to intertwine with one of his own. “I’ll give them a hearty zap if they do such a thing!” Azul splutters as you administer a gentle shock through your tentacles. It’s absurd enough to make him burst out laughing and you join in happily. 

Within that small classroom, a fond memory is created with that childish laughter.

—

The compass seems to get wonky underwater in the depths, so you reluctantly take to the shallows where the sea pressure is a little nicer to your gadget. 

It's strange to be so close to the sky as merfolk. The clouds remind you of the sulfurous gasses that are spewed in the deeper marine trenches. But it's much more transparent compared to the opaque heavier gas, lighter and much more friendlier looking. 

The red needle points straight ahead, and you breach just slightly, spotting a beach in the distance. Despite reservations, you drift closer, still only keeping your face above to render your sight usable. 

Misty fog clears and reveals palm trees and jagged rocks littering the golden sands. It's no island, since the land stretches further back into the atmosphere, with no end in sight. But there's no sign of life, save for the seagulls circling above and tiny crabs scuttering below. A little bit disappointing for your destination.

The stories you heard from elders were always about wild islands with treacherous fauna and mysterious treasure buried deep underground. Maybe even a group of thieves lurking around. This was just a barren reef that held naught but the bones of those unfortunate to wash up here. 

Still, you move forward, trying to see if there’s anything at all on the sand. Some multi-colored sea shells here and there, hardly in the condition to be collected, let alone be traded for with others. You glance at the compass in your hands with an annoyed huff.

“Useless thing…” You mutter under your breath. It’s a childish hope, but you had thought it would lead you to somewhere amazing, that you could tell your own tale about. That way, Azul could finally stop scoffing at you for your ‘ridiculous’ dreams and prove everyone else wrong.

The item barely makes a sound when it meets sand, and you turn away. The disappointment has already dampened your spirit to the point where you want to find the darkest nook and curl up and sleep.

A throat clears behind you, and you freeze at the unexpected sound.

“I believe this is yours?” The voice is tinged with specks of haughtiness that has your hackles raising subconsciously. 

A human boy has the compass you tossed in hand, inspecting it with a thoughtful look, before turning that gaze to you. His purple eyes are mesmerizing; they remind you of the vibrant sea shells in the various reefs dotting the Coral Sea. It takes an embarrassing moment for you to compose yourself to finally reply.

“It isn’t anymore.” He raises a judgemental eyebrow, and you almost shrink in on yourself. 

“Why not?” You cross your arms defensively at the judgemental tone. “It isn’t good to litter, you know.”

Your ears burn at the pointed accusation. Is a human seriously going to lecture you about pollution when they’re one of the causes for said situations? 

“That item used to belong to humankind, how is it littering when I am merely returning it to its place on land?”

“In this condition? I’d be surprised if it still works.”

“Well, it clearly didn’t work when I was trying to use it.” You fold your arms petulantly as the boy’s eyes slant in judgemental surprise.

“What use does merfolk have for human gadgets?” You bristle at the questioning tone. “I thought your kind has no need for these kinds of things, since you have an innate sense of direction.”

“So what?” You snap. “Who said that mers weren’t also curious about exploring either?”

“Exploring?”

This back and forth ends in a humiliating embarrassment when Vil (he introduces himself with an air of elegance that makes you think of royalty) informs you that the compass is not some kind of magical gadget that can lead you to your desired location. You thought he would be more smug and condescending about it, but he only patiently explains the usage of the compass and how the red needle is only meant as a stalwart guide, as it will always point north wherever you are. It’s a little disappointing, but still. You could see how it was useful as a human.

“That sucks. I wanna explore a new land one day and be able to tell all about it to my folks.” You flick your tentacle and splash some water out in musing. Vil has settled on a rock near you and now the animosity has simmered away into genuine curiosity for each other. It’s nice. When was the last time you were able to talk this freely about your dreams?

“I’m sure you can,” Vil smiles, and your breath is momentarily taken away. 

It feels good to have someone who believes in you, for once.

—

"...I think he’s a good person.”

The sound of someone choking makes you whip your head to see Azul keeled over his large book volume. After recovering, he looks up at you with incredulous disbelief in his sapphire eyes.

"You can't be serious? He's a human!" He spits, hostility coating his words like tarred ink. 

"Ugh, so what?" You puff out your cheeks. “Why do you have a problem with this anyway?”

“Because he’s a human! And besides, how do you know he won’t do something suspicious like sell off your fins or tentacles once you turn your back, huh?!” Azul retorts, making you roll your eyes. 

“This is not the age of the Sea Witch, Azul, it’s the modern era,” you coldly reply. “And that’s rich coming from you. Did you get that tome from the library or someone else?”

Azul flinches, cheeks blotching into a mottled dark purple as his tentacles writhed around the book as if to protect it from your disdainful gaze. Of course. Last week you swore one of your classmates had become mute, and another one’s P.E grades had dropped drastically, despite performing well in the past years. Azul sure has been working hard perfecting his unique magic these days.

“I earned this book fair and square!” Azul protests. “That human is another thing completely!”

“His name is Vil.” It’s like talking to a stone wall. You knew Azul disliked hearing about Vil, but not to this extent. “And he’s my friend.”

“I’m your friend too!” Aquamarine eyes narrow as your closest friend snarls at you. “Doesn’t that mean anything?!”

“Not when you’re insulting my other friends!” Without meaning to, your own tentacles begin to thrash in irritation, buzzing with the hum of electricity. “Ugh, forget it. I knew you were going to be like this, just like when you make fun of me for my weird treasure hunting.”

You’re not a fast swimmer, so even if you storm off, it must look silly, just floating away as your tentacles drift behind you. Despite the desperate calls of your name echoing behind you, you don’t turn back at all.

—

Perhaps you should’ve thought about at least making up with Azul before you made your decision.

“How are you going to explore the world if you can’t even leave the sea?” Vil had said with a disapproving frown. “You can’t let sentimentality shackle you from your potential.”

The words echo in the back of your mind. Sentimentality. Yes, that was one way to put a label on your relationship with Azul. You can’t deny entirely that reaching out that hand to him that fateful day was entirely out of a genuine desire to make friends. That little regret permeates the way you end up having to cheer Azul up from another self loathing session or whenever you’re having to reassure him that you won’t ever leave him all alone. It’s not that you actually believe in your words, but rather, it was the quickest way to quiet his tantrums. And although Azul matured greatly in magic and smarts, he never did quite grow out of his childish belief that you would always be there to coddle him. Not even when those sly eels attached themselves to him, taking over your role of being an actual friend.

So you take to the surface with your parents’ tearful blessings, leaving only a brief message with an acquaintance you made in your elementary school days. Rielle had hesitated, but ultimately wished you luck up on the surface. You can’t blame him. If you were braver, you would have made the effort to say the bitter words to your friend yourself. But that would be wasted time on a flood of tears and ink and even worse, a complete meltdown that would take days to mend.

When the volunteers handed you the transformation potion, they told you that although you trade your fins for legs, most mers have to adjust for a long period of time, having been so accustomed to swimming and utilizing your unique biology. At the time, you threw those warnings to the wind and chugged down the potion. Nothing would matter if it meant you could break away from the sea foam. You hadn’t realized the gravity of this until you’re stumbling over yourself and constantly ending up with aching bruises on your knees and shins. 

You hadn’t quite realized, until Azul is the one pushing you back and shrugging your apartment door shut behind him with a deafening click. Although it took you weeks to figure out how to walk without falling, Azul moved with an ease as if he’s always been human. It almost makes you envious enough to forget that he’s pinning you back on a wall, pupils dilated and breathing heavily like a madman. 

“Azul, let go! What the hell? How did you even know where I lived–?!” You’re not entirely panicked, more confused and annoyed. Even if he was erratic at times, he was still that baby octopus. He wasn’t exactly like the Leech eels who were known for their sharp teeth and ability to maul things to shreds. 

“It wasn’t easy, you know,” Azul mutters, a thin sharp grin strained across his face. “Do you know how hard it is to follow your tracks after you abandoned me like that?!” You scoff. One month and he’s already thinking it’s the end of the world that you weren’t glued to his side night and day. 

“Abandon? Please. You must be insane to think that me going to the surface to study is the equivalent of abandoning someone,” you spit back in his face and he recoils only slightly, but still remains steadfast in his strong grip over your hands. Even as you wiggle, he gives no indication of letting go. 

“Well, that doesn’t matter now,” you bristle at the way he ignores your reply. Bad habits die hard– he’s always loved ignoring anything he didn’t want to hear from you when convenient. It’s almost relieving in a way, to see that he hasn’t changed a bit. “We’ll be returning back to the Coral Sea.”

“What?!” Now you’re angry. It’s one thing to hear Azul to be delusional, it’s another to have to entertain those delusions. “You must be out of your Sea Witch’s mind to think that I’ll–” Your words die in your throat when something cold and hard presses to your jugular, digging into your voice box.

“You will.” Azul’s pupils are still dilated, black taking over sapphire pools and leaving only a cold abyss. Your eyes dart down, following the magical pen that gleams with a silvery gemstone that makes your heart almost stop in place. “You will, and you know why, my dear?”

“Because I earned you first, fair and square.”

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #my works #commissions

[kimbap-r0ll]

What dorm leaders may do when stressed

Uni's kicking me and hopefully won't for the next week haha (may you all be blessed with less work soon)

Riddle

I feel like he would be under pressure 24/7 he thinks it's weird when he doesn't feel any :/ (it's giving toxic)

Academics never really stressed him out while at NRC but if there was something it would be his duties as dorm leader. He loves his job sure, but it comes with its own set of work. Add Ace, Deuce, Grim to the list of things he has to keep an eye out for and he really starts to feel tired haha

He will likely have more caffeine than usual, opting for tea over coffee. He also tends to sleep less, saying that while it's better to sleep more, he needs to get things done.

He's a bit more agitated, you can tell he's stressed by seeing the number of students he's had to behead go up. You may also spot Trey talking to him more, maybe sneaking him a sweet treat to help him push through exam week or so haha

If he has an s/o, he wouldn't want them to worry about him so he'll just try his best to hide it. However, if his s/o were to give him something nice during stressful times, he will be extremely grateful (expect him to give them something in return)

Leona

He tries to stop work before it gets stressful and he's surprisingly good at it. Either he gets work done beforehand (very rare) or he just doesn't do it at all (extremely likely).

He gets stressed about other things than academics since he's already pretty good at most subjects. I feel like what stresses him out would be familial things, or at least ones pertaining to his brother and whatnot.

When he's stressed he tends to be a little bit more on edge, a little more snarky. But overall, he'll be sleeping more and less likely to actually fight someone. If a random student is bothering him for example, he'll usually hit the lightly on the shoulder and tell them to stop. In times of stress, he tends to just walk away and hope the student doesn't follow him (doesn't have the energy to bother)

If he has an s/o, he's more clingy. It's a little surprising coming from someone who usually tries to convince his s/o to leave him alone, but when he's stressed he wants more attention. Definitely pulled his s/o to a nap more than once

Azul

He's like Riddle, he thinks it's weird when he's not under pressure and will constantly look for ways to get himself stressed :/

He gains most of his stress from his physical appearance, mainly because of his childhood. However, he also gets stressed from wanting to maintain a perfect image. He wants to get good at every class, wants to be a good businessman for the school lounge, etc.

He's a coffee addict, but this will only grow when he's stressed out. Will he consume more than four cups of coffee? Yes. Is he ok? No. He also is a bit more snappy when he's stressed, but you won't see him lash out or snap, more like a snarky comment here and there. Jade and Floyd will likely not mess around with him when he's stressed since they can't get a usually-flustered Azul out of him.

If he has an s/o, he will also be super clingy. It's not that surprising since he loves attention, but his s/o might have trouble studying themselves having to take care of Azul. The two of them should probably set up study dates instead if he wants to be around them 24/7.

Kalim

Probably has the healthiest work-life balance ever. He is rarely stressed out and if anything probably causes more stress to Jamil haha

He gets stressed out when he's dealing with a lot of exams (like most students) but he also gets stressed when he has a crush but has no idea how to approach it. So, he gets stressed out in more emotional, intimate things

You will likely never see this man stressed out, but if you do, you won't really notice it. He's surprisingly good at hiding how much pressure he's going through, but if you look closely you'll see that he's a bit jumpier than usual. He also has a bigger appetite, so expect frequent visits to Sam's shop for some snacks

If he has an s/o, he's also super clingy and wants them to take care of him. If the two of them are in the same class that he's stressed about, then the two of them definitely have all-nighters together. If he has a crush on someone, he will almost avoid them like the plague since he wants to approach them at the right time but has no idea if he can actually find a right timing

Vil

Constantly under pressure but never shows it. He has lived under immense pressure since he was a little kid, so he also thinks having no pressure at all is a little weird (though he wants a good break)

It's his career that stresses him out the most, more than his work at school. Sure, there are times students at Pomefiore put him off, but he's always stressed out about maintaining the perfect image whenever he has to go for a modeling event or when he's trying out for a new role for an upcoming film.

This man will be extremely cold when he's stressed out. He's more ruthless as a dorm leader when he's stressed, likely pointing out mishaps from students here and there without mincing his words. He also tends to distance himself from others since he knows he's not that good with words when he's stressed out and he also doesn't want to use more energy talking to people

If he has an s/o, he will likely distance himself from them for a little bit. He loves them yes, but he doesn't want them to know he's going through a lot and would rather have them not worry about him. If his s/o gives him something nice though, he'll be super grateful about it

Idia

He's not always stressed out but he does get stressed from time to time. He doesn't like taking exams, but the thing that stresses him out the most is having to be around a lot of people for a long time (think school events)

During Halloween he's probably a bit more on edge than usual. Either way, he gets stressed when he wants to make new friends or show that he's not a scary or weird person but he doesn't know if he's doing well conversing with others. To him, he'd rather talk to people online than go through having to make eye-contact or having to meet someone physically

He's just detached when he's stressed, will drink more energy drinks than usual too. He barely sleeps, but he'll pull more all-nighters than usual. Idia also doesn't want his younger brother knowing he's stressed out so he tries to distance himself for a little while. He doesn't have the energy to talk to people that much so he spends more time just on his bed and trying to relax when he can

If he has an s/o, he might distance himself from them but end up getting clingy. He won't downright pull his s/o to a nap like Leona but he will want them to just spend some time with him playing video games to de-stress. He might not tell them at first, but once he and his s/o get closer, then he'll likely just text them at 3am if they want to come over to play some games

Malleus

This man almost seems too perfect because he's just so good at every class, is quite charismatic, and just seems to have his life together. But that's not always the case!

He gets stressed from time to time if homework piles up but he gets more stressed out when he worries someone he cares about doesn't care about him back the same amount that he does. This usually goes the most with an s/o if he has one

When he is stressed out, he tends to distance himself from people similar to some of the other dorm leaders. However, he isn't really harsh with words, he just spends more time alone. He does, however, get angry more easily. Either lightning flashes outside when he gets pushed a little too hard or he just gives whatever is bothering him a mean glare like >:( for a good two minutes before Lilia's like "yo r u good"

If he has an s/o, he's super clingy without knowing it. He may want them to do more study dates at first. He'll sit across from them in the library but as time goes on he's somehow sitting right next to them, one arm around them, and like really close. Having a chill time with someone he cares about reaffirms that he does have people that care for him and it also helps him de-stress a lot.

#twst #twst imagines #twisted wonderland #twst scenarios #twst headcanons #twst x reader #twst dorm leaders #twst riddle #twst leona #twst azul #twst kalim #twst vil #twst idia #twst malleus

[youremyheaven]

The Curse of Limitless Expansion: Jupiter's Shadow

I have covered the "negative" manifestations or the shadow side (as I prefer to call it) of different planetary influences, such as Venus, Moon, Rahu & Ketu and whilst I have explored Jupiter's different manifestations before, I thought it is time to do a more in-depth analysis of Jupiter's shadow.

Being the largest planet in our solar system, Jupiter is expansive and its natives are internally spacious and vast. I had observed previously that Jupiter is similar to Rahu in terms of its spaciousness (Claire had also observed the similarities between Punarvasu & Swati) but the difference is that Rahu is truly limitless in its expansive ability as it quite literally does not have physical form (Rahu refers to the north node of the Moon) Jupiter may be vast but it does have limits, it's bound by its massive capacity but since it does have a physical form, that means it also has limitations, it has a tipping point. This is why Jupiterean natives suffer or have the ability to realize they have "gone too far". Rahuvians have a "point of no return" mentality, they think they've gone too far but have to keep going since it no longer makes sense to return now.

Some people believe that since Jupiter is the planet of luck, abundance, growth and healing (or generally perceived as a "positive" planet) it somehow does not have a "dark side". This is untrue. Jupiter's darkness is just as terrifying as that of any other planet. The bigger the planet, the bigger the shadow.

Jupiter's shadow manifests as a god complex, messiah complex and megalomania, most commonly seen in men.

Men and women channel their nakshatras and planetary influence differently. Men tend to externalise their problems and women tend to internalise theirs. Men tend to inflict destruction upon others and women tend to self-destruct (@lasirenesensible tysm for pointing this out to me, it's a very valuable insight).

The scope of this post includes a few women but I'll discuss how Jupiter's shadow manifests in women on a separate post in the future.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that a planet known as the "Guru" or teacher is prone to making a lot of people under its influence proclaim themselves as Messiahs or divine teachers, many famous pseudo-spiritual "gurus" have Jupiter ruled naks in their big 3. They are merely charlatans with a Messiah complex driven by their ego to expand beyond reach. This is a toxic trait of Jupiter natives.

Ryuho Okawa- Punarvasu Sun, Purvabhadrapada Mars atmakaraka

He was a Japanese religious and political leader who was the CEO and founder of the Happy Science and the Happiness Realization Party. His organization has been widely criticised as a cult. Adherents of the religion worship Okawa, who claimed to be the current incarnation of a god called “El Cantare" and a number of other beings, including Hermes and Gautama Buddha.

L Ron Hubbard, Purvabhadrapada Sun conjunct Mercury and Jupiter conjunct Ketu in Vishaka (he also had Magha Moon)

He is the founder of Scientology lmao and basically co-opted a lot of eastern oriental thought mixed it with his malignant narcissism and created a religion based on spiritual hogwash. One of its most famous recruits is Tom Cruise, Punarvasu Moon

Jim Jones- Punarvasu Sun & Mercury (he was also Shatabhisha Moon)

He is known for being the (cult) leader of the Peoples Temple religious group and for the Jonestown Massacre, when he led the mass murder-suicide of more than 900 members of the group at their commune in Jonestown, Guyana, on November 18, 1978.

fun fact: Suga from BTS (Purvabhadrapada Sun conjunct Mercury) sampled a bit from a sermon given by Jim Jones for the track "what do you think" from his mixtape D-2, he removed it following the controversy

"… though you are dead, yet you shall live, and he that liveth and believeth shall never die."— Jim Jones

I feel like it is way too specific and niche for him to not have intended to put it there or have known who Jim Jones was lol but I digress

But on that note, this whole self-belief thing (as we see from Jim Jones' quote) also seems to be tied to Jupiter's nature. These natives have insane self belief.

Will Smith, Vishaka Moon is kind of an early proponent of manifestation. He's been talking about it since the early 90s.

Jim Carrey, Vishaka Rising is another celebrity who has been talking about manifestation since the 90s.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Punarvasu Rising (and stellium)

He has talked about the power of the mind and visualisation A LOT. The key to achieving anything in life is to believe you can do it but many experiences (including trauma, self doubt etc) makes it hard for many people to persist in their belief, they hold themselves back. Jupiter's strength lies in its ability to be so vast and bold in its belief, their spaciousness means no matter what they've been through, they just know there's a way through, that they will make it out. This is their inherent nature.

Nikola Tesla, Punarvasu Sun developed the 3 6 9 method of manifestation (as @brundlefly3333 pointed out)

Kanye West, Purvabhadrapada Moon is another celebrity who has spoken about the Law, the power of self-belief etc etc a LOT.

It goes to show how easy it is for self-belief to turn into delusions of grandeur and make someone a narcissist. It is truly dangerous because Jupiter's influence on the masses is immense so whatever a Jupiter native may proclaim, they have the ability to affect many people through it. Some of the men I mentioned above convinced others that they were God and even made them kill themselves for it. This is a scary, dangerous manifestation of Jupiter's "guru" nature wielding vast influence on others and being absolutely convinced of one's righteousness

anywayssss

Mussolini- Vishaka Rising, Jupiter in Punarvasu amatyakaraka (he was also a Rohini Moon and Pushya Sun👀)

Benito Mussolini is like the OG dictator. He created fascism, a movement that would plunge most of Europe into darkness. From undermining judges to indoctrinating children, he pioneered key tactics that other dictators would use to seize power.

I specify Nodal influence in these individuals because I think the limitlessness and expansiveness of Nodal influence wrecks havoc to the already expansive nature of Jupiter and makes these natives more reckless.

I also specify Moon influence because as I already discussed in my posts, Moon influence can easily morph into cruelty and corruption and I think Moon & Jupiter together can be a dangerous combo if the native is imbalanced.

If you take anything away from these posts it would be that literally anybody with any placement/nak/planet is capable of being truly evil. There is no specific nak/planet that is a "guarantee" against evil. It truly comes down to the individual to choose how they want to live (I believe in free will and I do not condone in using astrology in a fatalistic way at all).

Ferdinand Marcos- Punarvasu Moon (he also has Ardra ascendant conjunct Ketu and a lot of Moon influence)

Ferdinand Marcos developed a cult of personality as a way of remaining President of the Philippines for 20 years, in a way that political scientists have compared to other authoritarian and totalitarian leaders such as Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler, but also to more contemporary dictators such as Suharto in Indonesia, Saddam Hussein in Iraq, and the Kim dynasty of North Korea.

The propaganda techniques used, either by himself or by others, to mythologize Ferdinand Marcos, began with local political machinations in Ilocos Norte while Ferdinand was still the young son of politician and Japanese collaborator Mariano Marcos, and persist today in the efforts to revise the way Marcos is portrayed in Philippine history. According to members of his administration, such as Adrian Cristobal, Marcos's intent was to project an image of himself "the only patron, the king" of Philippine society, which he still saw as a society of tribes." Cristobal furthers that "Marcos and the First Lady wanted more than anything else [...] to be king and queen. They wished to shape the kingdom in their own image; [...] Marcos wanted to be able to say, 'L'État, c'est moi.'" ("the state, that is me") In some extreme cases where Marcos encouraged the formation of cults so that they could serve as a political weapon, Marcos came to be thought of as a God.

Sun Myung Moon- Mercury conjunct Rising in Purvabhadrapada (he also has Shatabhisha Sun)

He was the founder and leader of the Unification Church established in Seoul, South Korea, who considered himself the Second Coming of Christ, but not Jesus himself. It is generally believed by Unification Church members ("Moonies") that he was the Messiah and the Second Coming of Christ and was anointed to fulfil Jesus' unfinished mission.

The thing about all these men claiming to be God/Messiahs is that there were people who believed them and followed them blindly and uncritically. Anybody can claim these things but not everybody can acquire power and influence and lead people this way. This is another aspect of Jupiter (not to repeat myself again and again but yeah it's the whole "Guru" thing, people look at you as a figure of knowledge and wisdom, and these people project natural leadership qualities).

You can't just be crazy or narcissistic enough to believe these things, you also have to be strategic enough to amass a following. To be a leader and a guru requires a certain commitment and discipline. These are all Jupiterean qualities (that are used for malicious purposes here).

Augusto Pinochet- Punarvasu Moon conjunct Saturn, Mercury in Vishaka atmakaraka, Jupiter in Purva bhadrapada amatyakaraka

He was a dictator who ruled Chile and claimed he was a visionary who was "guided by the mysterious hand of God". He had a cult of personality surrounding him

After his rise to power, Pinochet persecuted leftists, socialists, and political critics, resulting in the executions of 1,200 to 3,200 people, the internment of as many as 80,000 people, and the torture of tens of thousands. According to the Chilean government, the number of executions and forced disappearances was at least 3,095. Operation Condor, a U.S.-supported terror operation focusing on South America, was founded at the behest of the Pinochet regime in late November 1975, his 60th birthday.

Jupiter's expansive nature manifests as greed when an individual is imbalanced or spiritually stunted. This drives a need to acquire massive wealth or spread their influence/reign/territories. If the individual is spiritually evolved, their focus will be to balance the spaciousness within and not project it outward in continuous expansion.

Hafez el Assad- Mars in Punarvasu atmakaraka, Jupiter in Punarvasu amatyakaraka and Venus in Vishaka (he also had Hasta Sun)

Syria's Hafez al-Assad, a Ba'athist officer who seized power through a coup d'état in 1970, established a pervasive cult of personality to maintain his dictatorship. As soon as he took over power, Ba'ath party loyalists designated him as "Al-Abad"; an Arabic terminology with deep religious dimensions. Linguistically, ''Al-Abad'' means "forever, infinite and immortality" and religious clerics use this term in relation to Divine Attributes. By designating Assad as "Al-Abad", Syrian Ba'ath Movement ideologically elevated Hafez al-Assad as its "Immortal", "god-like figure" who is supposed to represent the state as well as the Syrian nation itself. Another meaning of Al-Abad is "permanent", which is used in state propaganda to denote the perpetual status quo of an "eternal political order" created by Hafez al-Assad, who continues to live in Assadist ideology. The term's verbal form "Abada" means "to commit genocide" including the "symbolical; performative side of violence". This dimension has been weaponized by the Assad regime to monopolize violence against alleged dissidents and justify state terrorism, including genocidal acts of mass murder like the Hama Massacre, Qamishli Massacre and other massacres of the Syrian civil war.

Jayalalithaa- Punarvasu Rising (Shatabhisha Sun & Magha Moon)

She was the Chief Minister of the state of Tamil Nadu in India and was an actor turned politician who had a cult following (they called her "Amma" or "mother" which I think is interesting that she was this mother figure/matriarch because of Punarvasu's deity Aditi being the Cosmic mother). She was a corrupt politician but the masses largely overlooked this and she was known for being a bit of a tyrannical figure who expected absolute loyalty from her party members who often publicly prostrated before her (not kidding).

Not as brutal as some of the other people on this list but her personality cult and influence over her following is crazyyy (I'm Indian so I'd know) and when she died in 2016, her state observed a 7 day mourning period.

Mata Amritanandamayi Devi- Vishaka Rising (she also has Hasta Sun👀)

She's an Indian spiritual guru known as the "hugging saint", she's still alive and has millions of followers and there hasn't yet been a proper expose but her cult has been controversial for ages especially after it started recruiting spiritually confused white people into its mix. A lot of it is unexplained, she's most definitely a millionaire at this point and we have no idea what actually goes on behind closed doors. Many of the alleged miracles that she has performed have been debunked on many occasions. To think that she has football stadiums full of people who worship her and think she's the divine incarnate is sooo crazy

Ram Dass- Punarvasu Rising

He helped popularize yoga and Eastern spirituality in the West. I don't think he's cruel or shady, just a regular white guy who had a spiritual awakening in India and co-opted thousands of years of Vedic wisdom and teachings to "introduce" it to the West. But his influence is unmatched to say the least, he spearheaded a whole movement and made eastern spirituality mainstream in the west. This is a manifestation of Jupiter's boundless nature.

Oppenheimer- Punarvasu Moon

the man who developed the first ever nuclear weapons was a Punarvasu lol

he truly believed that he was doing the "right thing" because (you already know all this if you watched the movie) Germany was bound to develop these weapons and cause mass destruction and Oppenheimer thought he was on the right side of history by making these weapons for America and by extension for the Allies

"After Germany's surrender in 1945, some scientists questioned the bomb's relevance. Oppenheimer believed it would end the ongoing Pacific War and save Allied lives. The Trinity test is successful, and President Harry S. Truman orders the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, resulting in Japan's surrender. Though publicly praised, Oppenheimer is guilt-ridden and haunted by the destruction and mass fatalities. After Oppenheimer expresses his guilt to Truman, the president berates him and dismisses his plea to cease further atomic development." (this is an excerpt from the movie's wiki lol)

it just goes to show how self-belief isn't a good thing on its own because you can make yourself believe anything. I guess Oppenheimer's guilt has to count for something ??? Idk how many people mentioned on this list felt guilt because of the destruction they caused, Oppenheimer had a conscience et.al

Elon Musk, Punarvasu Rising

He is the richest man in the world and is on a quest to own everything he can and colonize Mars, need I say more? Idk if this is a strange manifestation of Punarvasu's deity Aditi being the Cosmic Mother (either that or the man has a breeding kink) but this guy procreates at the speed of light (he has 6 kids right now with 3 different women I believe)

Tommy Mottola- Punarvasu Sun (Swati Moon)

the asshole who trapped Mariah Carey (Punarvasu Moon) in a hellish controlling marriage for 8 years. He was the CEO of Sony Music in the 90s and was known for being a megalomaniac (look up his feud with Michael Jackson) he has ruined the careers of many and is known in the music industry for being a really scary controlling maniac

Anders Behring Breivik- Punarvasu Rising

He blew up a bomb in the centre of Oslo. Meanwhile went to an island where a political youth gathering was taking place. Dressed up as a cop he would kill 69 people on the island of Utøya, and call out to teenagers hiding saying it was safe to come out, those who believed him and came out were shot.

Alfred Hitchcock- Vishaka Moon (also Shatabhisha Rising with a lot of Moon influence in his chart)

He basically stalked some actresses and tried to control their lives; told them what they could/couldn’t eat, and where they could/couldn’t go. He sent Tippi Hedren inappropriate Valentine's letters. She claims he threw himself atop her in a hotel room and kissed her — and in her biography accused him of sexual assault. Yet another Jupiterean megalomaniac.

Al Capone- Purvabhadrapada Rising

 He joined the Five Points Gang as a teenager and became a bouncer in organized crime premises such as brothels. In his early twenties, Capone moved to Chicago and became a bodyguard and trusted factotum for Johnny Torrio, head of a criminal syndicate that illegally supplied alcohol—the forerunner of the Outfit—and was politically protected through the Unione Siciliana. A conflict with the North Side Gang was instrumental in Capone's rise and fall. Torrio went into retirement after North Side gunmen almost killed him, handing control to Capone. Capone expanded the bootlegging business through increasingly violent means, but his mutually profitable relationships with Mayor William Hale Thompson and the Chicago Police Department meant he seemed safe from law enforcement.

Capone apparently revelled in attention, such as the cheers from spectators when he appeared at baseball games. He made donations to various charities and was viewed by many as a "modern-day Robin Hood". However, the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre, in which seven gang rivals were murdered in broad daylight, damaged the public image of Chicago and Capone, leading influential citizens to demand government action and newspapers to dub Capone "Public Enemy No. 1".

Robert DeNiro played Al Capone in The Untouchables (1987)

Idk whats the link between PBP and the mafia but Scorsese (PBP Moon) has made manyyy mafia themed movies and Robert DeNiro (PBP Moon) has starred as a mob boss on multiple occasions.

Having Jupiter influence really is like having unwielded power and if a native isn't mature enough to channel it appropriately then they can easily lose themselves to malignant narcissism, god complex and megalomania.

It requires a great deal of wisdom to wield this ability wisely and for the greater good

Jupiter influence is very prominent in the charts of royalty, another group prone to megalomania and god complexes lol. Jupiter bestows its natives with power, status and affluence but one must wield it carefully.

Punarvasu is widely accepted as the most auspicious of Jupiter-ruled naks (due to its themes and its deity) whereas Vishaka and Purvabhadrapada are both harsher manifestations of Jupiterean energy but even the most "gentle" of Jupiterean naks still came up in the charts of some of the horrible people I mention in this post. Basically, no one is exempt from being cruel, obviously, everything depends on the chart as a whole (a person is more than the sum of their parts) but that said the presence of a nakshatra considered "auspicious" (Jupiter ruled or otherwise) does not automatically qualify as some kind of redeeming quality lol. Everybody has to consciously choose their actions and be good and do good aka anybody can be cruel and evil and yes even Jupiter has its dark side/shadow.

hope this post was interesting xx

#astrology notes #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #vedic astro notes #nakshatras #astrology #astroblr #astro observations #astro notes #vedic astrology #jyotish #purva bhadrapada #vishaka #punarvasu #jupiter #Youtube

[banamine-bananime]

my concept of donut is like, he should be on a 1960s white america boyscouts poster but like, goofy about it. do you get what i mean.

like to me donut was basically cooked up in a lab to be a parody of the Good Ol’ Boy Back When Boys Were Real Boys who played outside all day with friends smacking each other with sticks playing space cowboys and aliens, rubbing dirt in all his cuts and knowing big boys repress all their emotions except Boisterousness, always says his yes maams and yes sirs and never questions authority (but also, y’know, boys will be boys so of course they’re up to Mischief when unsupervised, a bit of chaotic and violent rule-breaking fun is all fine and good as long as they’re respectful to authority and just accept their punishment with an “awwww, man! Shucks!” in the end).

a parody because it plays up how someone genuinely like that probably must be pretty stupid/oblivious/gullible to be so pliable to authority and follow dumb norms of “what is a nice polite young man supposed to act like” without any thought into “wait, what makes this something it’s important or nice to do? are there perhaps other things i could focus on doing that would actually be more important or nice to do? do i actually get or care what being nice and doing good is, or do i just like doing whatever i want without having to think about Ethics and then having a very easy set of rules of How To Be Nice to follow”.

and also a parody because he also is like, extremely gay, and he literally just does what he wants and acts how he wants and it’s simultaneously ^that whole Good Ol’ Boy thing and the most flamboyant stereotypically gay mannerisms and hobbies you’ve seen in your life. and he just fully lacks the interest in doing any reflection that would lead him to conclude anyone might see these as rather contradictory or subverting expectations. he’s exposed both to norms of good behaviour coming from conservative places and from progressive places and doesn’t really think about these perhaps being conflicting ethos, he just grabs this random patchwork of “hey this is something someone told me yayyyy :)”. he can enthusiastically follow the letter of many laws rooted in heteronormativity and toxic masculinity and also the letter of laws coming from Progressive Ideals but he fully does not give a shit to consider whether there might be a bigger spirit to any of those laws. dumbitchitis got him immune to internalized homophobia (no he isn’t actually. but he is quite certain that just Not Thinking About It means any negative emotions don’t exist. this is a foundational truth to donut’s understanding of the universe)

what i’m saying is donut should simultaneously give the impression of walking straight off a cheery WWI Join The Troops poster or 1960s boy scouts ad, but also of being absolutely A Pansy of the same era, but also of being the kind of modern queer who says “be gay do crime” not because they’ve given two seconds of thought to prison abolition but because they find doing crime really fun

#i know this is in line with neither the popular fandom interpretations of donut nor where they went with his character in later seasons #but his character has been so all over the place chaotic over the years which to me really speaks to just having no firm sense of ideals or #self and being highly highly impressionable and easy to influence and changing depending on who he’s with and Whims #and overall really my favourite donut is early seasons donut. i do not think he should be liberated of gender norms due to wokeness #he should be liberated of gender norms by how Soundly Fucking Asleep he is. zzzzz mimimi 💅 #rvb #red vs blue #donut #donut rvb #alexa send post

[elysianymph]

my unpopular marauders opinions

(i'm scared 😟)

'nothing is ooc bc we know nothing about the characters!' might work with the girl characters and the lesser known ones but it does not fly when we are talking about the marauders and other characters like barty, regulus, etc. we have so much (biased) information on these characters and you can't erase all they were in the original text bc you want to make an oc in the marauders era.

sirius is literally one of the most interesting characters in the fandom and i hate how he's been dumbed down to regulus' brother or remus' boyfriend depending on who's pov we're reading. what happened to cool sirius and why has he become a loser who follows remus around like a lapdog??? what happened to casanova sirius who all the girls were into but he never paid them any attention??? what happened to the sirius who risked his life and ran away bc he refused to become like his parents??? and why has been reduced to a whimpering mess who cries bc remus is mean to him (ooc on remus' part too). you're lying to yourselves if you think sirius wouldn't start throwing hands the moment remus insulted him. i need to write an entire separate post for this bc it makes me viscerally angry when i see him portrayed like this. who decided that giving remus all of sirius' main character traits was a good idea??

similarly, remus has become so boring. he has literally become the toxic love interest in a werewolf story please STOP IT. i'm tired of remus constantly yelling and calling other people (specifically sirius) worthless or hitting their deepest insecurities but it's all justified bc it's the full moon and he's angry and emotional. it's overdone, it's toxic, it's boring and i don't want to see it. my remus will forever be a an old sweater-wearing, bookworm people pleaser who wanted nothing more than to have friends who loved him despite who he was and he treasured them so dearly when he found them. he carried extra pens and quills in his bag because he knew peter always forgot his, he always came to james' games to cheer him on despite not being interested in quidditch. idk what you people find appealing about remus thinking sirius is a nuisance or annoying when they're dating but it's not <3 he spent years staring at sirius' back during class and being satisfied to just be in his presence because he didn't think he deserved any of it. how could he wish for more when sirius was wrapping an arm around him and whispering the plan to their newest prank? you want me to think the shy boy who looked away anytime sirius made eye contact with him was a smooth talker who found sirius annoying?? at this point he's an oc with remus' face be fr

sirius >>> regulus any day. cry about it

speaking of regulus i hate how the fandom has characterized him. you've created sirius 2.0 with his storyline (while simultaneously slandering sirius' character) and then made him an emo version of remus' already awful characterization. he's not an uwu victim who begged his brother to come with him, he was a blood supremacist who was probably overjoyed that the stain on his family tree was gone. 'i hate you but i love you' describes the black brothers perfectly but that 'but' doesn't undo the hatred they feel for each other. sibling relationship are so complex, especially in a family like theirs, and their relationship would've been turbulent. by the time sirius had ran away i fully believe the hate they felt for each other was bigger than any love they had left. regulus who is a manipulative asshole, regulus who is actively trying to get rid of sirius so he can get to be the heir he thinks he deserves to be will always be more interesting than the way regulus is written in most jegulus fics.

also james would've literally bullied regulus. it's the truth

also, let james be an asshole! let james be a bully! he was a teenager for fucks sake let him be mean and cruel! give him an ego the size of the sun and nothing else to 'make it better'. he was an only child raised in a pureblood family, i would be more surprised if he didn't turn out to be a narcissistic teenager. he was talented and spoiled and wanted everyone to agree with him bc he had never been brought down to earth from his high horse. let him be messy. i don't understand why the fandom has such a problem with complex characters

this fandom hates on severus too much while babygirl-ifying characters who have done the same or worse than him. was he an asshole? yes. was he also a really interesting character that people choose to ignore or push aside bc he's not conventionally attractive? yes. you've idolized barty and evan and regulus, characters who are also canonically death eaters and have done unforgivable things, yet you continue to hate on severus because?? i don't like him either but commenting 'stan bambi' on every single severus edit is a bit too much effort for a character you claim to not give a shit about :/

remus would NOT be friends with barty, evan and regulus. he's a loser and those three would bully him to death

'i wish people would make more marauders era girls content-' 💥💥💥make it yourself. there is PLENTLY of girls content all you need to do is look in the tags (but oh wait you can't look in the tags bc no one in this fandom has apparently heard of fandom etiquette and they're all tagging every ship under the sun on a post about jegulus. trust me, if i wanted to see jegulus content i would go in their tag. now stop tagging it with dorlene and marylily)

idk if this one is that unpopular cause i've seen it around quite a bit recently but the lupins are literally one of the best families and they are so underrated. the relationships between hope and remus and lyall and remus and the effects that remus' lycanthropy has on them is always on my mind fr. you don't need to give every character mommy/daddy issues to make them interesting or complex ❤️

the prank is SO overdone. like every post prank fic is the same shit and i'm tired. sirius felt no remorse, remus called it an unfunny prank, get over it. it can be interesting to explore (especially sirius' thoughts during it and how remus deals with the consequences of one of his best friends betraying him) but so many times the prank has just been used to justify writing remus being so so incredibly shitty to sirius and poking at his every insecurity that at this point i don't even want to read about it anymore. remus had every right to be mad but once again you're ignoring the canon characterization just to make him seem like a badass when he would absolutely not confront sirius about it.

'[girl character] is just the female version of [male character]' literally makes me want to bite someone's head off. how is it that you have time to create whole new personalities for james, sirius, remus and every other male character under the sun but lily, mary, dorcas or marlene don't get that treatment?? slapping sirius' old characterization on marlene or remus' old characterization on lily doesn't make for compelling characters but none of you care enough to actually flesh these women out and make them something more. it's no wonder people complain about them being boring when the main fanon is just slapping on a guy's personality onto them but make it misogynistic. if you can give regulus an entire backstory and justify his every action then you can give the girls some interesting character traits in your works be fr.

rudy solos grant chapman 🫶🏻

#i was in a mood when i wrote this #i'm just tired #HEAVY on the remus and sirius stuff bc i can't stand it at this point #marauders #mwpp #marauders era #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #the valkyries #the marauders #the pantheon