#also somehow you give popular vibes

[ghostgirl101]

Hi! I saw you did a obsessed oliver quick, would you consider doing the same for felix catton?

Dating Felix Catton Would Be Like This...

A/N: I would absolutely consider it, and here you are 😎 also if anyone has any oneshot ideas for Oliver or any of the other Saltburn guys then drop them in my inbox, I wouldn't mind writing a proper imagine scenario for them too 📩 next up is more Oliver Quick stuff anyways, so go crazy. Also, why did I find this kind of hard to write? Maybe I'm just used to Oliver's craziness and not this pretty little aristocrat's 🙃

🍾• Contrary to Oliver, Felix's type of obsession would be less murderous and delusional, more realistic, kind of vain... he's a Catton, a rich boy everyone knows and loves, who wants to be him or be with him. He's used to getting his way, learning new things about people until they get boring or get on his nerves, and then life goes on.

🍾• Not this time.

🍾• You'd meet at Oxford, either by coincidence, or by getting in with his clique of friends somehow. Chances are you helped him out on a test or covered for him in a class, and so he calls you over in recognition next time he sees you, to hang out with him and Farleigh and the rest.

🍾• There's something about you that gets the pretty aristocrat interested. Maybe it's just your charisma, your beauty, some definition that makes up you. You're different from his other friends, don't follow the crowd, have a different mind, a worldview he doesn't get. And he likes it.

🍾• So prepared to be hounded with questions over a drink at the pub after classes, all curious but friendly eyes following yours as you summarise yourself, your background, your ambitions. And what are his? Well, he lives in a beautiful estate with his high-class family, goes to Oxford because he can... I never really saw that he made any plans for himself in the film, so my guess is that he's not all that bothered about it. He's got money, he's got connections, he'll do what he wants, like always... so long as it meets the Catton expectations.

🍾• Assuming you don't have the same outrageous luxuries as Felix does, he wouldn't see the need to impress you or get your attention at first, because his status is a given around school and everyone's after him. But if you're not the same as the other girls who crowd around him when they're given a good enough chance, he'll find himself keeping on calling you over, wanting you around for your input on things they do.

🍾• Probably shows off his wealth - unknowingly or not - by buying you something for an unnecessarily high price, like a designer fountain pen when yours runs out in English, and he'll shrug and smirk softly, because it's nothing, don't worry about it.

🍾• Farleigh will undoubtedly be interested in you, but I see him warming up to you instead of being mocking and sceptical like he was with Oliver. Probably because you give off a lot better vibes than Ollie, and treat his friends like normal people, not tiptoeing and aweing of them because they're all rich and popular, but getting on as well as you can. There's something special about you that Felix saw to try pulling you into his circle, so you don't have to do anything but be yourself.

🍾• And when the summer break does come by, you're invited to Saltburn with his closest; a dazzling, rare invitation from the young Catton himself, probably away from others in a nice spot around campus. He'll give you his charming smile and warm eyes as he tells you to come along with them, that his mum will like you because you're beautiful, and that he really wants you there.

🍾• Expecting you to go all squealy and eager with a dozen yeses - if you can manage it, hold that all down to give him a nod and a shrug with a light smile as you agree calmly and casually instead, because that's a whole new response he'd never expect from any lucky person he shows an interest in. How come you're not falling all over him like the whole of Oxford does just by him being there?

🍾• You'll definitely be showered with attention at Saltburn. Elspeth will marvel over your complexion or your eyes or your hair or your outfit (or all of the above). Venetia will probably be grateful to have someone around who has a proper personality that she can talk to and will make friends with you fairly easily.

🍾• You'll catch onto Felix's jealousy over the attention you get pretty quickly, because he doesn't even try to be subtle about it. He'll just shamelessly approach you and complain in his own way that you're his guest, and he brought you here so you two could hang out. His sister's annoying, Farleigh's a troublemaker, so you should probably just stick around him, right? Makes sense, doesn't it?

🍾• Sure it does, Felix.

🍾• He's a nice guy really, kindhearted and sweet enough, but at the end of the day, the world is his to play with, and so are its people. He just needs to understand that you're not a toy... you're an individual, and so if it's going to be anything like his other "relationships" where he gets bored and leaves them to it without a second thought, you're not interested.

🍾• Which is all shock and horror for Felix Catton, because is this really what a proper relationship means? Proper thought and feeling 24/7, staying with that one person instead of having flings with whoever whenever he feels like it?

🍾• So just give him a hot minute to sulk about it over there while you have a good time with his other friends and Venetia, because the more he sees you hanging around with others and being true to yourself, adjusting to Saltburn's black-tie standards but not letting it shape or belittle you, Felix has to actually realise that he hasn't got a whole lot of depth or meaning to his life if it doesn't involve you somehow, in the closeness that he wants and needs it.

🍾• Okay. Convinced. He'll give it a shot.

🍾• I think that Felix would expect it to be difficult for him, because he's used to his carefree, no-strings-attached game of life instead of anything serious. But it'd come easier than he'd think. Other people just don't interest him as much as you, simply because they're not you. They don't have the same little... thing. Girls trip over his feet and cling to him, everyone wants to be his mate, to try to fit into his rich lifestyle, but you do it all effortlessly, and it's puzzling.

🍾• And so hot

🍾• Felix would be casual and open with PDA, since everyone will come to grips with the two of you being an item after you've been dating for over the span of a few solid days. An arm slung around your shoulder, messing with your hair with a fond, teasing look, linked fingers under the table. Nine out of ten times, he'll beat you to it and reach out to you first, because whatever he says, there's a needy boy in him somewhere 😏

🍾• This guy was a complete playboy before you, so needless to say, when you're getting real close, Felix has a pretty good grasp of what he's doing, and he'll do it right. Petnames too, of course, Surprisingly - but unsurprisingly - things like darling and beautiful, but he'd probably try to make a nickname out of your name and shorten it to give you one, finding it funny if you give him a mildly annoyed and amused look because it sounds weird.

🍾• He'll be all bright eyes and grinning proudly as he takes you to his parties, to have dinner with his parents, who get on with you wonderfully, because you're polite but not a suck-up like everyone else, and can hold a good conversation with them while looking over their shallow spins on things.

🍾• Honestly though, from what I saw of Elspeth, she made me laugh out loud a good couple of times from watching, so being friends with his mum wouldn't be a bad thing at all. And Felix would like to see you getting along with his family, because it just proves that you're a perfect fit, like he knew you were.

🍾• You'd make a friend for life in Venetia if you tried to comfort and genuinely help her with her insecurities and problems, not play her like the rest... I felt so bad for her tbh

🍾• You'll never want any material thing ever again, because his money can buy pretty much anything you want. I'm pretty sure his family would give you some kind of allowance when you're serious with Felix anyway, since they can see it in him that he's serious about you too, and the whole relationship is a great step he's made in his life. Any financial support you need, you've got it. Don't even mention liking the look of something in a shop window, because chances are you won't get the item, you'll part-own the store 😭

🍾• So, basically, you don't just get a gorgeous young aristocrat who finds every little unique, original thing about you fascinating and attractive, you get the whole of Saltburn as your second home. Just try to make friends with Duncan, and you'll probably get all the dirt on them too lmao- he'd get on better with you than he did with Oliver anyway, since he apparently was the first and only one in the household to realise that there was something off about Oliver.

🍾• Ohhh, and if we're getting to the twisted-up subject of Oliver Quick...

🍾• Let's just say that it could go two ways. Either he'll be obsessed with the both of you, and treat you the same way he treats Felix, looking up to him with intense, wide ocean green eyes, shadows after him in the hallways after dark. Or, once he's done destroying Felix... his obsessive, delusion-spiked gaze will flick straight over to you.

🍾• Either way, steer clear, that's all I can tell you.

#saltburn 2023 #felix catton #oliver quick #venetia catton #farleigh start #barry keoghan #felix catton x reader #felix catton x y/n #felix catton fluff #felix catton imagine #jacob elordi #emerald fennell #jacob elordi x reader #jacob elordi imagine #saltburn fic #saltburn spoilers #saltburn movie #saltburn #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn film #saltburn x reader #saltburn posting #salt burn #saltburn aesthetic #saltburn analysis #saltburn au #saltburn blurb #saltburn brainrot #saltburn cast #saltburn drabble

[azulaaaaaaah]

rating every zuko ship (cause that mf is shipped with everyone)

CLICKBAIT!!! this isn’t every zuko ship just the main ones i immediately lied lol. idk if any of these are hot takes or not but please don’t crucify me (might do a part 2 where it’s azula ships)

Jinko - Zuko/Jin

6/10

awwww it’s cute (for what it is)

and what it is was one singular date that was never really mentioned again

i really appreciate how jin is so unperturbed by zuko’s awkward angst and just genuinely likes him

howevvver she’s kinda one dimensional (as she’s only in like an episode) and i just don’t see this going anywhere longterm

less a ship, more a vehicle for zuko’s character development lol

Jetko- Zuko/Jet

3/10

jet being zuko’s first gay encounter is canon in my eyes

don’t ship them however cause i hate jet with the fire of a thousands suns

similar issues to jin as well where their interactions are extremely limited so personally have no clue how this could be a long term thing

Maiko- Zuko/Mai

5/10

i am so impartial on this ship it’s not even funny.

i get that it’s canon. i get that izumi looks suspiciously like mai so it’s endgame. i just don’t see HOW?? it feels as if the writers realised zutara was becoming popular and were like ‘OH SHIT WE GOTTA DEFUSE THIS SITUATION SOMEHOW’

their relationship is basically just mai being a cold asshole and zuko being an angry asshole and there’s no change or development between EITHER OF THEM

however when they’re cute they’re cute !!!!

‘i love zuko more than i fear you’ COLDEST LINE EVER

however again it’s like - you had a crush on him as a kid. he was BANISHED. you dated for like a month as teens. you argued the whole time. he left again- and shortly after you saved him from prison, but then you were imprisoned partly due to his actions. you get back together again, he becomes the ruler of a country, and then you’re surprised it’s isolating him/making him even more of an asshole???

on the other hand we as a society need to admit that zuko is weirdly possessive of her (ig that’s a positive if ur a booktok romance girlie but im not). like if i was mai i wouldn’t put up with that toxic shit either

at the end of the day, i honestly don’t care that they’re canon lol- but i think they’d probably best as a bitchy best friend duo

Zukaang - Zuko/Aang

1/10

not round here partner. not round here

my first issue is the age gap is objectively extremely weird if examined in canon. leaving it at that

i get that this is grumpy x sunshine in a way the other ships aren’t to me- but we’ve only ever seen these two characters interact with each other when there’s (again) A WEIRD AGE GAP

they are bros in the least homosexual way possible

the cherry on top of this situation is: isn’t aang the reincarnation of his great grandpa? isn’t that giving slight, uh, inc*st vibes??? imagine if people shipped korra and jinora isn’t that just WEIRD???

Zuki - Zuko/Suki

8/10

is this my most controversial take ???

i am a sucker for bodyguard x royal family dynamics guys

and the fact that this is girlboss x malewife is even BETTER

suki seems the most competent at handling his pissy ass in a way the other people on this list aren’t

like she’s real. she’s not sugarcoating his situation, BUT SHES COMPASSIONATE !!

i don’t like throuples typically but suzukki is even eliter than this, which removes the whole ‘going against the bro code’ element that arises from them being together

also i feel like if you haven’t read the comics this doesnt make sense At All so please do

-2 points for the lack of tangible reason to ship them lol

Zutara - Zuko/Katara

7.5/10

okay this one makes the most logistical sense to me within canon (solely examined as a zuko ship not overall)

it really seems as if they were gonna make this canon and swerved circa book 2

LIKE CMONNNN OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHERE THE GUY ACTUALLY HAS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND ISN’T JUST EVIL? FIRE X WATER? ITS INTRIGUING

something about this makes me uncomfortable though. (despite the age gap which again a little weird)

something about katara potentially becoming the fire lady is so… icky. she’s a waterbender. the fire nation tried to systematically erase her kind. her mother is killed by the fire nation because they think she’s a waterbender. and katara…. what, becomes part of the royal family? it just seems wrong, and like something she wouldn’t be into

also i feel like their arguments would be a little too NUCLEAR. there’s like, a 50% chance of divorce

she deserves a better ending than that is all i’m saying

to paraphrase the hunger games: katara has plenty of fire herself. SHE NEEDS THAT DANDELION IN THE SPRING MAN

(i’m a kataang truther)

Zukka - Zuko/Sokka

9/10

my zuko related otp!!!

bros to lovers guys, where zuko falls first but sokka falls HARDER !!!

ik this will never be canon and im happy with that. i know there’s not even a whisper of romance between them in the show, but i just think it’s c u t e .

sokka (like suki) is very likely to call zuko out on his shit, but less likely to lose his own shit (like katara)

this in my heart of hearts is 10/10 however is still problematic in a similar way to zutara

his mother is killed by the fire nation and he (presumably) becomes consort ?

however though, i would still say it’s not as ruhroh as zutara bc firstly, sokka isn’t a waterbender, and secondly, ‘consort’ is a lot more open to interpretation than i think fire lady is. in my opinion a consort ≠ a fire lady, just like irl a consort ≠ a queen. it kinda means he can still be ambassador to the southern water tribe/a leader of his own people, while just so happening to be married to the fire lord.

overall i can’t help but stan a friends to lover ship cmOn now

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zutara #zukka #maiko #jetko #jinko #zukaang #zuki #zuko #aang #katara #suki #sokka #shipping discourse #shitpost #kataang

[sixth-light]

the thing that fascinates me about the whole Brandon Sanderson episode 2x08 meltdown is that, look. he is EXTREMELY popular with a certain very specific subset of SFF fan who loves 'Magic A is Magic A' type magic systems where it's really sci-fi in fantasy dressing and part of the fun of the exercise for him and his readers is interrogating it to find all the logical loopholes and cool shit that you can do while still being within the rules of the system and so on. and that's perfectly legit.

but it's also...even though WoT does have aspects of this, in that channeling is a very rules-based magic system compared to e.g. magic in LoTR (which is the classic 'no rules only vibes' high fantasy magic) it also co-exists along magic which is MUCH more vibes-based (whatever Min does, Ogier Treesinging, Wolfbrothers). RJ was also never interested in writing the sort of edge-case rules-lawyering that BS obviously loves; it's pretty clear he wanted channeling to have rules to give himself rails to run on when incorporating it into the plot, not so he could logically deconstruct the thing. (like, how exactly did Mierin Eronaile and Beidomon use the One Power to drill into the Dark One's prison the first time when the Dark One is outside the Pattern? we have no idea because it doesn't matter, it just matters that they did it.) there's also plenty of inconsistencies and weird notes in the earlier books because he hadn't fully settled on how things worked yet - famously, Moiraine's staff.

and none of that matters really, because ultimately the internal logic and ability to be gamed out of your magic system is not a sign of writing quality, it's an artistic choice about how you want to depict magic in your SFF setting and also about what helps you as an author to write an internally coherent story. there's a lot of very good fantasy where the magic is EXTREMELY handwave-y and it's fine because that's not the point of the thing.

so to see that BS apparently seems to think that it IS a sign of writing quality and furthermore that the show is bad if it doesn't meet *his personal standard* of magic system logic, which he is somehow 'qualified' to have because...he likes to write magic systems with lots of rules a lot...is just. wild. sir, you have identified a very specific niche of nerd who will give you lots of money for your very specific books, that's great for you but the world of SFF is much bigger and weirder and cooler than that and that's okay.

#wheel of time #wot tv show #wot book spoilers

[mylittleredgirl]

while we’re having the endless debate about sorting by kudos or not on ao3, i have to stump for my personal favorite way to find fics:

i basically always go straight to the “bookmarks” page for whatever pairing/tag i’m reading rather than the “works” page, and i literally just realized why: it lights up the same parts of my tumblr gremin brain as my dash does.

content hand-selected by people who are bookmarking shit for their own reasons entirely unknowable to me, so it’s a mix of quality peer review and user xyz’s to-read list

if you keep going back to it there’s a repetition over time as new people bookmark old fics. as a tumblr girlie my brain enjoys seeing Thing I Recognize

brand new fics often show up there if they’re good!! (equivalent: new posts tagged “investing at 5 notes”)

a lot of the top kudos fics keep showing up too because so many people sort the works page that way (equivalent: heritage post)

but so much random stuff shows up too that i would otherwise never find, thanks to the hardworking folks out there sobbing into the bottom of the tag at 4 am (equivalent: those posts with 56 notes from 2011 that somehow?? end up on your dash like bestie how did you even find that)

sometimes there are 30 bookmarks in a row by the same person who has a new hyperfixation and you get to think “good for them”

sometimes you get to recognize a username as someone having good or seriously bad taste

sometimes i see my own fics in the mix!! and get that little hit of positive attention (or neutral attention i guess, when people add a bookmarker tag like “it’s about [my fave character] but it’s ok”)

yeah! people can add bookmarker tags and their own notes! so sometimes people rec fics or add marginalia and their own sortable tags (but most people don’t)

there’s always that one fucking harry potter crossover fic with 194 tags in the mix (equivalent: manscaped ads you can’t escape). not saying this is a plus, but scrolling past the same long post you hate for the dozenth time is also an essential part of the tumblr experience.

re: that last bullet point, the one downside of the bookmarks page is that the filtering isn’t quite as robust as on the works page. you do have all the usual include/exclude filter options, but the very last section of filtering (crossovers, WIPs, word count, date range) is not available. (@ ao3 coders please i’m begging 🥺🙏)

anyway i’m sure the bookmarking economy is different across fandoms, but this will give you a semi-randomized feed of the tag, weighted toward new and popular fics (and, for better or worse, unfinished multi-chapter works and megafandom crossovers). it’s probably a good place to start for people who long for an algorithm, but unlike the usual user-targeted panopticon experience it’s more like the chance to rummage through strangers’ junk drawers for fic. tumblr vibes. you get me.

#will it make you a little paranoid about your own bookmarking practices? yeah but cringe is dead 🖕 live cringelessly 🖕 #and for anyone who just learned this is a thing and is freaking out private bookmarking is always an option #ao3

[cogentranting]

Ranking Animated Horse Designs Take 3

This time I really am back by popular demand because the other two posts have been getting a steady trickle of notes for over a year now.

(If you're looking for stuff like Disney and Dreamworks there are two other posts. Here we've got mostly random cartoons and also the Pokemon horses)

Starlite (Rainbow Brite) 6/10 Little weird that he seems to be drawn in a style that's like 3x more realistic than any other character in this show but hey sometimes you just ascend to a higher plane of existence. (2014 Reboot Starlite gets a 3/10. I do not trust him.)

Skydancer (Rainbow Brite) 7/10 I bumped Starlite down a point because he wants what Skydancer has. Skydancer doesn't need rainbows to fly. Skydancer has a lightning bolt. Skydancer has the Drama. (The one wiki page said he's a Shire or a Clydesdale and um I don't think so. Maybe a Friesian.)

On-yx (Rainbow Brite) This is a rocket powered balloon animal. 2/10

Sunriser (Rainbow Brite) 5/10 Eh. I like her hair though.

Swift Wind (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power/ She-Ra Princess of Power)

Right (older version) 8/10 I don't understand the wing physics going on here. Also not sure if the horn is part of the mask or just attached to the mask. Diggin the bib though. Also love that he's a ginger.

Left (new version) 4/10 If the older version wasn't there this would score higher because just as a character design I don't think it's bad but if these are supposed to be the same character he seems so cutesy and I do not vibe with it. I don't know either show. So maybe that works. But it feels wrong.

Amalthea (The Last Unicorn) 9/10 They gave the unicorn the split deer hooves, and the lions tail and that is automatic points from me. Bummed they didn't go all out and give us the goat's beard. Rude. Any distance shot, I love. Close-ups of the face creep me out with the giant doll eyes and tiny nose.

(Pokemon and more below)

Honey Pie Pony (Strawberry Shortcake) 8/10 Adorable. Fantastically chunky design. The others from this... show? book? brand? are like 6s or 5s depending. But Honey Pie has the It factor. (The It Factor here apparently being that recurring pattern of only the main character's horse being able to talk?? This is the third. Swift Wind, Starlite and Honey Pie have dark secrets about how they come by this knowledge).

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic "ponies" Just as characters they're cute in a "trying so hard to be cute that they almost miss the mark entirely" way. But this is about how they are as HORSE designs. And these are magical gremlins not horses. 1/10 (WHAT is happening on the far right of this set. I do not approve. Zebra is fine though).

My Little Pony: A New Generation Like if the MLP: FM ponies and the Trolls characters somehow had children. Somehow the main character of Bee Movie was also involved. The one on the left makes TikTok thirst traps. -2/10

My Little Pony Tales 3/10 I can almost tell they're meant to be horses. Plus that one has a tattoo of a comb. So. Full extra point for the comb tattoo.

Bratz Horses I can't tell if there's an official video game or cartoon design for these but in ANY given version I found the conclusion is the same: if you look into the gigantic distended eye you will be put under the horse's curse. 1/10

Boxer (Animal Farm) 4/10 All horses are equal but some are more equal than others, but Boxer is not one of them because his mouth is not okay.

Marvin (Marvin the Tap Dancing Horse) 5/10 I mean. Dude's got spats. Come on.

Ponyta (Pokemon) 3/5 The armpit and middle thigh flames were a choice.

Rapidash (Pokemon) 8/10 Look at his face. The angst. He has seen things.

Mudsdale (Pokemon) 8/10 The classic mohawk, dreadlocks and legwarmers trifecta. Love it. Would love to hug him.

Galarian Ponyta 3/10 It's giving sheep, and it's giving dog. Very little horse.

Galarian Rapidash (Pokemon) 4/10 He's angry because his hair is too long and he can't walk and also he has not eaten enough somebody feed this horse.

Origin Palkia (Pokemon) 6/10 A built-in hoola-hoop AND thigh high Boots?! what fashion.

Keldeo (Pokemon) 1/10 Clown goat.

Spectrier (Pokemon) 10/10 Beautiful goth girl horse floating around like a Victorian ghost who's too modest to show her ankles.

Mudbray (Pokemon) 5/10 He has passed through the depths of existential dread and returned world-weary but unshakeable and with a snazzy bowl cut.

Glastrier (Pokemon)

20/10 ICE HORSE ICE HORSE ICE HORSE. I love him so much. He's punk rock

The Fat Horse (Looney Tunes) 10/10 Queen.

#horse rating #horses #horse girl #pokemon #rainbow brite #mlp #my little pony #the last unicorn #she-ra #strawberry shortcake #long post #i put in a page break this time

[i-cant-sing]

What are your thoughts on the yandere haikyuu teams x their manager?

Boring. I need some spice in it. How about-

Yandere Daichi as a cop and his darling is a civilian and now he's so obsessed with her that he murders her husband, frames him as a criminal and will literally stop at nothing to get darling in his arms because again... who will suspect good old, everybody's best bud COP Daichi to be able to do heinous crimes???

Yandere Sugawara as a psychiatrist because come on- he gives major "master manipulator" vibes and now he's obsessed with his darling patient and will continue to do malpractice and gaslight her and prescribe her all the wrong meds until she loses it and he gets to admit it her under his "special care" and now he can play with her mind all day long🤍

Yandere Oikawa is now a pro volleyball athlete and he just saw Ushijima's little sis, the same one he used to bully and even rejected (and ofc, HUMILIATED) when she confessed to him back in highschool. But now Oikawa's obsessed with her and also still hates his nemesis Ushijima, so what's better than killing two birds with one stone??? And Oikawa still has a very devoted fanclub, only now it's larger and more powerful than ever so now he uses them and his socials to peer pressure you into dating him and eventually, marrying him because he ain't getting any younger honey and he needs some cute babies out of you ASAP.

Yandere Kuroo who is the smart IT tech guy at your office but in reality, he has his own cyber security company that he uses to spy on you, controls your entire life through your socials and don't even get me started on your online banking shit. If its any consolation, he's very rich so... yeah. He may not look like a million bucks, but he does have them. In several offshore accounts.

Yandere Kita who somehow ended up as a mafia leader, probably inherited it as family business and he has like severe OCD so he wants everything done to perfection or so help you, you will 1000% end up 6 feet under. Mafia Kita who has this vision of you being the perfect wife, solely based om the one time you offered him your handkerchiefs because he had a nosebleed from stressing too much and now Kita thinks you're an absolute angel and he wont let you destroy that fantasy of his. Seriously. He will pick out your outfits, tell you how to act and all, punish you if he must, but he does love you.

Yandere Ushijima who is a farmer and has decided that the reader whose car broke down and came to his door asking for help, will now be his wife and be a countryside mom to many kids (u can't say no, okay? He wants a big family) and animals! But hey, he's a very caring husband and will massage your feet, give you baths and feed you his homegrown veggies and meals daily once you are round with his babies🥺

Yandere Bokuto who is now a popular politician and he needs an obedient wife to keep up appearances and play the "family man" image up. So he decides to threaten reader who had a one night stand with him, and Bokuto somehow has very intimate images and videos of you and he uses them to get you to marry him. And now he controls every aspect of your life and tells you to do exactly as he says, and he abuses this privilege more as he gets more powerful and you could only imagine the horrors he would inflict on you if he does actually win elections, but you can't run away because again- he has eyes and contacts everywhere.

#yandere daichi #yandere daichi sawamura #yandere bokuto #yandere ushijima x reader #yandere ushijima wakatoshi #yandere ushijima #yandere kuroo #yandere oikawa #yandere oikawa tooru #yandere kita #yandere haikyuu #yandere haikyu x reader #yandere sugawara

[dangerouslyknown]

Hi! Please do headcanons for gojo like you did Higuruma x

Satoru Gojo Headcanons 💎

A/N: Thanks for the request! My JJK obsession is hitting like a truck. I hope I delivered these Gojo headcanons well, mwah

Contents/Warnings: General headcanons, relationship headcanons both SFW & NSFW. Reader/partner is referred as "his S/O" or by they/them so gn!reader

General Headcanons

He used to play Moviestarplanet. He was sooo popular too. He had lots of friends and he made the silliest movies/artbooks which people loved

He likes to sing and usually he sings whatever is stuck in his head on random occasions, without really trying to sound good

...but oh boy if you ever get the chance to do actual karaoke with him... He sings beautifully when he puts the effort in. What a gorgeous voice, it almost surprises everyone

He goes crazy about Lady Gaga's songs and he loves to do silly little performances whenever he hears any of her songs

Gojo is also a Swiftie???

Somehow I feel like he is TERRIBLE when it comes to spending money. He hasn't had a day in his life where he had to worry about financial stuff, so...

He's the type of guy buy an expensive ice cream machine, then accidentally break it and buy a new one like it's nothing

He used to troll people online as a teen...

Actually, he probably still does it for the heck of it. He isn't one to do anything super offensive, but he enjoys messing with people

SFW Relationship headcanons

He hasn´t been in many relationships in his life, mostly because he rarely lets anyone close. Bro has trust issues :(

He dislikes being vulnerable in front of others, but his S/O is who he shows his true self. It is not something to take lightly

He KNOWS he is attractive and it flatters his ego when he is complimented on it, but if one wants to win his heart, you need to go deeper than that. He wants a person who truly appreciates him beyond looks

His love language is gift giving. He will gift his S/O anything they desire, and it´s his way of showing he cares. He gets excited like a kid in a candy store when he brings his S/O something and waits for them to open the gift

Most of the time it doesn't even have to be anything expensive. Of course he likes to spoil his S/O, but sometimes he just sees something small, which reminds him of them and he decides to buy it

Then, his unofficial love language is being annoying. He would ask "would you still love me if I was a worm" and whatnot

Related to that, he would act all smug and probably provoke arguments with his S/O just to entertain himself (but he's not malicious about it of course!)

When he sees something romantic, he would say "Ewww, sappy romance stuff" and then do exactly those things in private

He likes to show off with his relationship? Y'know, like posting about it in social media and PDA

This also ties to when he holds great pride in the thought that he's able to protect them no matter what. Maybe he's also a bit jealous and likes to show others that his S/O truly is his, and only his

Looooves to dress in matching clothing with his S/O!

Also, if he'd play online games with his S/O, he'd definitely want to do matching usernames (Sometimes it'd be cringe, but that's a part of why he loves doing it)

(NSFW under the cut)

NSFW Relationship headcanons

Leans towards being more kinky tbh

This man likes to have fun, okay? He is super adventurous in the bedroom. He's always coming up with new ideas for his S/O and him to try, and he usually is the one to initiate

He'd love to bring in ropes, blindfolds, toys of all kind and everything you could think of. He wants to use them on his S/O, but isn't against the idea being toys or ropes used on him either blindfolds wouldn't even work on him though

He´s a fan of playing with the dynamics. The vibes he gives is 50% pillow princess and 50% daddy, so there's never a dull moment when he switches up things with his S/O

He lives for teasing in the bedroom. You are not going to get anything easily from his arrogant ass: If he's a sub, he's going to be a brat. If he's a top, you need to beg him

He is capable of being serious during intimate time, but most of the time there's going to be funny and goofy moments

I could 100% see him doing something like slapping his dick against his S/O's face, then grin. At the same time it's hot but it's also hilarious (in his opinion)

Speaking of his cock, I think it's bigger than average. Length is impressive, then girth is more average-ish

Definitely very vocal during sex. He will not shut up whether it's whimpers or dirty talk

I think he loves to fuck his S/O from behind. He loves to kiss the back of their neck, their shoulders and all over their back while going at it

#jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #gojo headcanons #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo imagine #jjk #dangerouslyknown #dangerouslyknownworks #dangerouslyknownrequest #gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #Gojo relationship headcanons

[saltylandland]

Random Lost Boys NSFW Headcanons Pt2

Pt 1 here

Dwayne loves shibari (Japanese bondage), the way he comes across it is incredibly random, especially considering it’s the 80’s. In my mind, reader wants to explore some unique bookstores that caught their eye and Dwayne was the only one willing to take them at the time. I swear, you took your eyes off of him for one second and somehow it’s already in his hands, flipping onto page 52.

The others can appreciate the aesthetic and results, but they’re not interested in the process or the sensuality of the process.

I can almost see David getting into it, especially for the control it gives him and the inherent trust you have to have in him, but I think he’d quickly lose patience with the intricate knots, wanting to see you writhing in pleasure with simple bondage to keep you in place.

It’s very popular to write the boys as poly, or with all of them dating the reader, but in reality reader MUST drink a lot of water bc in some sort of way all of the boys overstimulate their partner whether on purpose or it’s bc they have more stamina as vamps. Also fucking just one of them? Near impossible. They come as a package deal and you’ll have to satiate at least 2 of them considering they’re rarely seen separately.

In some sort of way all the boys have a dacryphilia kink (crying kink), they all like it when you cry bc pleasure/overstimulation, but both David and Marko like it when you tear up due to frustration. Usually bc of their relentless teasing. Dwayne likes the aftermath of that teasing, being the ‘good one’ and wiping your tears as if he didn’t watch the others tease the shit out of you. And Paul likes it when it’s tears of embarrassment.

They’d 100% use their powers on their partner during sex, David usually sending the most filthy scenarios to play in the forefront of your mind while out in public.

Something I made up in my ‘every good girl needs a creepy vamp’ fic that I really like, is Paul (or even one of the other boys/all of them) can make phantom sensations like hands groping your body through your clothes, yep, still in public. It’s like one of those remote controlled vibes but 10x more intense.

Speaking of that, all of them have no shame. It really depends on your comfort level and that’s the only thing that will stop them from fucking out in the open.

I like the Headcanons of a) the boys get excited from drinking blood, b) the boys go into heat from the full moon, or c) go feral over their partner’s period (if they get them) but also,,, rip your ass if all 3 of those happen

Maybe I’ll do a pt 3 someday, I want to include star but I have to build up some characterization first.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #tlb dwayne #tlb 1987 #tlb fanfic #tlb headcanons #tlb x reader #paul tlb #tlb marko #david tlb

[jhuzen]

Hey hey heyyy! new fave author that's you! i'm not really sure if you're taking requests but the ask box is open but you can just delete this if you arent :")

sooooooo bear with me but i need to heal with your angst fic. you write so well and i think you can pull this off because idk if its just me but sometimes the reader is giving off dom vibes. so again if you're comfortable may i pls request for a reader that just makes our tall genshin men feel smol? that's all pls and thank you <3

the shivers [gn/m.reader]

big-brained anon. i will call you primordial anon for being the first one! i was just about to finish the inazuma ver. of workload and i’m vvvv happy that i got this! yes, i will take requests, but i have yet to make some rules, but trust me this one, i can definitely do and hopefully do some justice. i’m not sure which tall genshin men you wanted, so i played it safe and called upon all of the playable tall men ;-; i hope whoever you’re looking for is in here. gn/m reader as always (also it’s cute that you think the reader radiates dom energy wwwww)

dark and suggestive content so please be warned ehe. dom reader with tall playable men ft. diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, ayato, thoma, itto, and alhaitham. also pls excuse my manners on alhaitham’s, yours truly lost the 50/50 and i am taking it out on him 😔

Alhaitham

Agony. Pure agony gnawed somewhere within Alhaitham’s unbelievably still human heart. It throbbed with want and ached for your attention, but you simply weren’t a mind reader (or maybe you were, but somehow magically, you suddenly couldn’t read his pain at the moment). His eyes narrowed as you conversed with the juniors that sought you out from left to right — you were an alumni in Akademiya of course, a popular one at that and as the professors sang your praises, the scholars couldn’t help but take chance.

You were far more approachable than the current scribe after all. It’s only logical that the students would flock you and that alone could barely get a rise out of him. However, this one calls for a special circumstance — an outlier, if you will.

And as his gaze burned at the sight, he still couldn’t fathom how you couldn’t feel his silent wanting, he’d even dare as to say he was brooding at this point, deprived of your attention that you often promised he has.

All because of a previous classmate of yours.

You felt it alright, the uncomfortable heavy feeling at the back of your head. And you’re wont to the realization that it may have been your dearly beloved Alhaitham, him and his impatience growing by the second. And you could feel the exasperation that brewed inside him, boiling like a dormant magma suddenly growing active, but there was a little devil on your shoulder, urging you to be a little bit more mean to him, and continued to talk to Tighnari.

Your companion wasn’t any dumber, in fact, he was the first one to feel the heated stare directed in your direction. And while he expressed his adamance in leaving to cease the Akademiya lunatic’s jealousy, the knowing mirth in your eyes asked him to stay a little longer. To aid you in your little game.

“You ought to pay attention to him,” the forest ranger laughed a little, feeling the tiniest bit of pity towards the infamous coolheaded scribe, now left at your mercy. Tighnari, being one of your best mates in your years in Akademiya also had to succumb into your ruthlessness. Truly, you and Alhaitham were a match made in abyss for putting up with each other’s antics. “I could already feel my spine crawling with dread.”

“Indulge me with just a few more minutes, my good friend. I did truly miss you after all — what with my work often moving and you barely coming in the city when I am home,” you laughed a little and Tighnari only shot you a disapproving look at your stalling.

“Come and visit then. If I remember right, you promised Collei some trinkets from your trip in Mondstadt.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You waved at Tighnari as the hybrid finally left your clutches with an equally mediocre enthusiasm. And finally, you spun on your heel, excusing yourself for awhile from the scholars who were most likely hoping to hold an audience with you.

You walked back to the secluded area, far from the prying eyes (though you didn’t mind if there were onlookers, a little humiliation is always fun). Alhaitham’s eyes were trained back on the book, though you figured his attention was miles away from the texts and still is fixated on your presence.

Sliding the books out of Alhaitham’s way, you finally sat on the table and gently grabbed his chin, a soft gaze from you was all it took for the man to melt. He subtly leaned into your touch and you relished in the fact as he breathed in the scent of cologne that you would always dab on your wrist, inhaling your scent like a drug, “You needn’t be so jealous, love. I’m always here and I could never betray your trust. To simply do so would be the death of me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh? Is that so? I must be projecting then. Perhaps because of that one little girl that thought you were up for grabs.” Your words had Alhaitham immediately stiffening under your touch as he finally abandoned the book, hands grabbing onto your thighs so tightly — a silent apology that he somehow forgot.

But you yearned for a verbal apology, you wanted to hear the remorse in his voice even if you had to pull it out of him in sobs and soft moans. Alas, you were much too impatient as your hand on his chin shifted, now grasping his cheeks and squishing them together.

Through his forced puckered lips, he mumbled out a muffled apology, “M’s’rry…”

A laugh tore away from your throat, “I know you are.” You leaned down, pressing a kiss to those soft lips of his before dauntingly sticking out your tongue and giving a rather carnal lick afterwards, effectively wetting his lips.

Your vice grip in his cheeks was nothing against his quiet whimper of plea as you devoured his still puckered lips with your fervent licks and mildly aggressive nips, uncaring whether or not the skin of his lips broke and bled. And even then, Alhaitham was sure you absolutely enjoyed the taste of the metallic iron as long as it was his. And nothing could get him going more knowing that despite the toying you did with him, the way you seemed mean at times and absolutely refused to acknowledge him, you were wrapped around his finger.

A soft groan left your lips when he squeezed your thighs with much force — and while that could have been a cue for something else entirely, you had enough awareness not to take him there and then and opted to pull away with a conniving grin.

Quiet pants left Alhaitham’s lightly swollen lips, completely red and absolutely drenched in your saliva. You only gave him one more smile before reaching out to wipe away the drooling mess you’ve made on your beloved scribe.

“Thank you for that quick snack break. I ought to entertain more research questions. The Amurta scholars these days are so jovial! It gets my heart pumping to see their cute eager faces. I’ll see you later, love.”

And this time, Alhaitham let you go with little to no protest, feeling that he himself was also fulfilled for the moment.

𐂂

Ayato

Impatience flooded through Ayato’s system as he continued to keep up the facade in front of the other commissioners. He was far from an exquisite mood as he continued to listen to the ludicrous suggestions of his fellow politicians. He has seen children pitch better ideas on how to catch a tanuki when he walked the streets of Inazuma City with you a couple of days before.

And speaking of which, you were the love hidden behind closed doors. The darling jewel of the Kamisato clan — a nobleman from the faraway lands of your proud nation. Only Celestia knows how such an important figure such as yourself ended up in the doorstep of the Kamisato household. But only his sister and trusted keeper would know how a prolific man such as Ayato end up in your strong and caring arms.

The thought of you suddenly had Ayato feeling weak in the knees, doing who knows what — and he dreaded to see you lonely, and in desperate need of company. Ayaka was often out and about, handling the surface affairs, and Thoma was much too busy with the upkeep of the teashop when he’s not in duty as a housekeeper and your companion. He dreaded the thought of you emerging from the household and suddenly being seen by the rest without his approval — his secret love.

He bore through the absolutely god-awful meeting with the mere thought of you keeping him sane through this absolutely maddening (important) boredom.

While Ayato was preoccupied with unrestrained concern for your wellbeing, you weren’t all too bothered with being left in the deafening silence of the Kamisato household; as a matter of fact, you reveled in the tranquility your beloved’s home have offered you. You took care of everything like a good spouse, taking off some labor from Thoma and even learned a few hobbies you can teach Ayaka.

You were much too independent to be helpless. You liked to move and surprise people with the extent of your prowess. It was enticing to see their surprised reactions, throwing people off guard was a pastime you could never hope to give up.

Perhaps it was why you loved Ayato all the more. His reaction could never be beaten by any other person. Especially when it dawned on him that he too can be outsmarted and overpowered, to be underneath someone and to feel what it’s like to relinquish control. Not politically though, you could never take that from him. Otherwise, he’s all in your hands.

And none was all different when Ayato finally arrived home, a breathtaking yet cheeky smile plastered on his flawless face. His voice reverberated through the house as he entered, laced with eagerness as he stepped on the tatami floors as he made his way to where you are. And unsurprisingly, you were by the engawa, indulging the serenity of the place.

“Welcome home, lovely,” your voice already had him growing weak, almost missing a step as he sat behind you, arms already lacing around your sturdy shoulders. He inhaled your scent fresh and sweet, only fueling his intoxication. “How was work?”

“Long and tiring. I abhorred the time wasted not being with you,” you could feel Ayato‘s pout against the nape of your neck and laughed. You indulged him and his nuzzling against your skin, letting him go through all kinds of euphoria. You licked up every single attention he gave you and Ayato was no different as he continued to take advantage of what little control he has in this moment.

“It’s not all so bad. It‘s not like I’m going anywhere.” Your words quickly reeled Ayato in as desperation seeped through his veins — a desperation for you to make good on your promise and to never, ever break it. Hah. Like you were even foolish enough to do so. “I should hope that I can hold you on the same promise?”

Your tone made it out a suggestion but Ayato shivered at the thinly veiled threat — knowing that he can’t escape your grasp ever. That he’s shackled so lovingly within you; a promise of raw love that only you and him can enjoy and no one else. Of course, he wouldn’t have it any other way. He submitted into your touch as you turned around and swiftly pulled him into your lap.

“Absolutely ravishing,” Ayato’s breath hitched at your compliment. He’s heard people sing their praise to him in a hundred words, but all you had to do was speak and he’s already so, so weak, completely under your mercy. His hands made its way to your shoulders to gain some grounding, a footing in this world with all the haze your words injected into his mind.

Ayato’s smile was lazy, eyes half-lidded as he leaned in to steal a kiss you’ve been cruelly depriving him of since his arrival, and you were quick to reciprocate. He almost fell out of your lap when your hands gripped his hips tightly, oh so possessively, and he could only imagine the marks you’d leave if he wasn’t wearing his layered uniform at work.

Pulling away from the kiss, he left one more peck, “You’re doing my head in, y’know? Take some responsibility.”

You wouldn’t have been Ayato’s beloved if you did otherwise.

The wooden floorboards creaked as you shifted, rocking forward further with a hand on the back of Ayato’s head as you laid him down. Ayato had to stifle a quiet whine as your lips found themselves attached on his chin, considering that his clothes left so little room for an opening in his neck. He quivered as your lips moved further up, just on the side of his bottom lip where his beauty mark was. Archons, he’s never felt so defenseless as he did with you.

Alas, you were a tease and soon left him alone as you sat up, his legs immediately wrapping around your waist to pull you back in as he flashed you a sly grin, “What say we bless the stars tonight with a show?”

You scoffed with a smile, “No, thank you. I’d get jealous.”

The Yashiro commissioner was purring in delight.

𐂂

Diluc

Reluctance was a feeling that Diluc should have expected and prepared for, only for him to do the exact opposite of it. Instead, he was blindsided and only has himself to blame. Though, quite frankly, he’d rather have you take responsibility instead.

He was never one for conversations and actively avoided them as much as possible unless it was a talk about business. Diluc could never find himself engage into a mindless chatter, and often kept to himself. Though, granted he has the traveler to thank for keeping him company and prying him open at times, but other than that, his interactions with people are limited to the staff of his winery and the tavern, sometimes with Kaeya, and on certain nights when he’s bartending, he’d make the effort to speak to kick out a drunkard bard out of the tavern.

All of that however boiled down into nothing in comparison to the hurricane that was you. None of his experiences (if one could even call it that) could have prepared him for the situations that you would put him in. They were so unbearable, and often times it leaves him completely exasperated at your antics.

But even so, he’s willing to bear it all if it meant he could be with you. Diluc would go through the most compromising positions you would put him in if it meant he could gain even an inkling of approval from you. And it may just be his brain trying to comfort him, but he does feel significantly more lax in the company of others ever since you became a part of his peaceful life.

All of a sudden, he’s holding up better in mundane talks and people noticed. The patrons of his tavern were all flabbergasted to see that the air around Diluc has cleared and that it doesn’t feel like a chore to him to even talk to them. Even the traveler and their emergency food noticed that there was a different feel to Diluc upon their return to Mondstadt to fulfill some commissions. Adelinde could not be any prouder for her master as he indulged those small talks.

If only she knew why.

Case in point — Diluc has gotten better in socializing because of you. Only because anything seems far easier than being subjected into your shameless cruelty.

A quiet wail left the Darknight hero’s quivering lips as his back collided against the walls of your shared bedroom. The hurricane that ruthlessly terrorized his otherwise peaceful and dull life was you — relentless and absolutely merciless. All logic from his mind slowly went down the drain as you ruthlessly devoured him, like a lion forced into fasting feeding on a gazelle; you went in for the kill.

Your lips left no room in his neck as you enjoyed your feast. Much like that ridiculously gruesome analogy, you were just as deprived, forced into being a good partner for your beloved Diluc as he went on with a week filled with nothing but conducting business for the winery as well as doing his duties as the protector of Mondstadt while its occupants fall into a collective slumber.

Not like you were any better though — you were also just as busy, collecting research samples for your investigative partner, Albedo. And all of that resulted into missed quality times, as you were often away before Diluc could wake up and you were already asleep before he could come home. It was ridiculous.

But freedom was a theme that Mondstadt upheld and suddenly, there was free time. A sliver of chance where Diluc came home earlier and you went home a little later, only crossing paths on the way to the winery. And all that eventually led to your ferocious and undeterred expression of love.

Diluc could already see the glimmering stars as he tilted his head up to leave more room in his neck, eyes screwed shut to keep his mind off of the embarrassing position he’s in — held up against the wall by you, barely supported by anything but the wall behind him and your hands that gripped on his thighs when you lifted his legs up.

“Have you any idea how much I’ve longed for a chance to even breathe you in?” Your harmless growl against the skin of his neck was enough to send him into a spiral of embarrassment and pride. He never had much chance to feel someone’s incredible want for him until the day you came along and Diluc soon found that this was a feeling he could never let go of.

Alas, your question, rhetoric or not, was left unanswered when all of the experience he’s had in conversing with others left his pretty little mind. Just the feeling of your possessive hands grip onto his skin so tightly had him forgetting the every alphabet in Teyvat’s language. Short ragged breathing left Diluc’s lips and he finally opened his eyes when he felt you pull away, granting his neck to see the light.

Vicious and angry marks are bound to decorate his skin by the looks of it and he was no better than you — completely drowned in excitement and thrill.

You could see the wanton need in his eyes, now completely glossed over with a haze that looks all too familiar, you could even say that the feeling’s an old friend of yours — what with you being completely insatiable. That is until Diluc came into your peripherals and suddenly you had the urge to drag him where you are; and ever the pliant gentleman this man is, he quickly caved, only to realize just how ruthless you are.

Even so, it’s not completely unwelcome. Diluc’s mind muses as you dove back in, this time with an urge to leave him breathless for a much different reason.

𐂂

Itto

Excitement was not so much of a stranger in the company of Itto. He was always so exuberant, even to the point of it placing him in trouble under the Tenryou commission. And while the gang cheered him on (other than the reliable and trustworthy Shinobu), it still is, at the end of the day, nothing but trouble.

However, beyond that, the only thing that Itto could get consumed in excitement without getting in trouble are his ramblings about you. To say that he was your biggest fan would be an understatement, and just when people have started to think that no one could be prouder of Arataki Itto than himself, the moment your name leaves his mouth, no one else is escaping the plethora of praises he has for you.

You were his pride and joy and to be able to have you as his was nothing short of a miracle — well, not so much, considering that surely no one can resist Itto’s irresistible charms. And as he boasted about you and how you were all over him, people can only accept the fate they subjected themselves into. The usual victims of his rambling could just as easily ace a test that was all about you. People knew of the things you favored and the ones that didn’t, the things that can get you to stop doing what you are doing just to indulge yourself.

And you let them. You figured there was no harm done in Itto blabbing away who you are. Really, people knew you but you rarely ever showed yourself around them, being one of the work types in contrast to your partner’s easy going life. And besides, it was nothing short of amusing to see people’s faces when they finally catch a glimpse of the Itto’s priceless jewel that is you and you’d often hear people comment offhandedly about Itto’s words not even doing you justice.

You enjoyed those moments — the praises that you hear from left to right were welcomed with a captivating and grateful smile from yours.

But all that pales in comparison to the feeling you get when you praise your beloved, watching him completely fall apart in your arms as your honeyed whispers filled with promises of love and sin get him going.

“And then I managed to pick the biggest onikabuto! And when I got to duel I almost won!” Itto faltered a little as the realization dawned on him that it was yet another loss in his books. Fortunately, he quickly recovered, “N-Not that I didn’t lose because I suck! I let those kids have a taste of victory!”

“Hoh? Like before?” You entertained Itto’s whims as you continued to cut slices into the apples that his gang had managed to procure on their adventuring in the outskirts of Inazuma. “How generous. I could only hope to see the glee in those children’s eyes.”

Itto jumped up from his seat and headed over to you, arms snaking around your hips with his chin resting on your shoulder. You picked up a slice and fed it to the oni, who so gladly obliged your little act of service. In any case, someone could mistake the dynamics of your relationship with someone if they were to see just how docile you are and how well-behaved Itto seems to be.

But much like your job, you liked to work behind closed doors and you were far more appreciative with your own work when it’s only seen by your own eyes.

You swiftly turned around, still encased with Itto’s strong arms with an apple in hand. But such an innocent gesture can only be deciphered as deceiving, especially with the way your eyes glinted. It was dangerous and sharp, on the prowl like a hungry predator, and in this case, Itto was always subjected into the role of a prey. Still, with Itto’s lack of awareness, he can only give you a beaming smile, so filled with sweet innocence and… stupidity. Something you can appreciate more as this man’s sole corruptor.

“Just hearing you being such a nice oni to those children…” your voice shifted and even with Itto’s constant naïveté, he can hear the seductive danger behind your words. “You must’ve been a very good boy, huh?”

He quickly perked up, unable to resist your words. He almost felt his knees buckle — and he would’ve given out had you not been holding him up well. Wait, since when were you the one in charge? He was the one who had a grip on you earlier.

Without even so much of an effort, you spun him around, now the one trapped between the kitchen counter and your body. It must’ve been the Inazuman summer heat that suddenly set him ablaze — you flashed him a small smile that he could never recover from, so approving yet so domineering; all Itto could think about now is how he can draw out more praises from your sweet lips.

Lucky for him, you feeling relatively charitable that day. You brought up the apple slice against his lips, prying them open and watched with amusement as he opened his mouth willingly, obedient and pliant, like a dog. You leaned in, attaching your lips to the apple halfway through his bite and gazed at him, sultry and still so collected. Itto could only swallow dryly at the proximity and— oh, since when did you have such a vice grip on his bare waist?

Itto could feel himself squirm a little and look away, and you followed, not even letting him get a breathing room. You nudged the apple slice into his mouth still with that small smile that hid a lot of harmless malice, taking delight in the oni’s sudden subservience.

“What a good oni you are,” you repeated and Itto could do nothing but absorb every praise you’d give. “My good boy.”

He’s been such a good boy, right? Rarely any jail time for him. Surely you can reward him with something more palpable?

𐂂

Kaeya

Remorse was something Kaeya thought he would feel the moment he kisses his bachelor life goodbye. Admittedly, the situation with getting in a relationship with was a very rocky path he took on. It was a mess and even Kaeya could not smooth talk his way out of that kind of argument. It was an unhealthy push and pull, he wanted you so bad was much too terrified. He has other commitments and he has a mission to carry on his back.

But ever the benevolent person you are, you managed to put up with the highs and the lows of the infamous cavalry captain, letting him off to disappear for days only to come back in your arms, looking like a kicked puppy. Somehow you knew that even with his emotional availability, his constant flirting with others, you knew that even without the promise of his commitment, he would always, always come back to you.

And each time, you would receive him happily in your arms.

The moment that finally, Kaeya was somehow able to comfort or gaslight himself into thinking that a commitment to the real thing was miles better than him having to spend time with strangers, pretending that it was you underneath him. And boy was it a treat.

What Kaeya thought would be something he would entirely regret, turned into something far better (or worse) for him. You were the epitome of the alcohol he would spend mora on, the intoxicating heat that gets him all too feverish. You kept up with him like you did back when he would push and pull against you. His teasings quickly shut down by your quick mouth and sharp wit.

But he didn’t expect the way you were instantly able to subvert his expectations the night he decided to finally bed you. You took him with the dominance that he was sure rifthounds would cower from and he had to risk a day of being late in his position for the very first time in his otherwise clean career.

Within the few months, you’ve managed to embed yourself into his life like a poison, further dragging him down into something he can only see getting close to what seems to be an obsession. He was, by all means, addicted to your touch, the way you leave him breathless, and the way that absolutely no one knows the things you can do behind that innocent smile. Because you were a homemaker, the kind of person parents would recommend their sons and daughters to get married to.

It really was always the quiet ones.

However, you did not come without any risk. Kaeya was an important figure in Mondstadt, and more or less, he worried about your safety. Though it was not the usual safety issues that he has to deal with. Homemaker or not, he knew you can hold on your own with your vision. Though it was more on the fact that he had to keep the relationship a secret that you were in danger — as far as everyone was concerned, you were not taken.

And people sure did show their interest the moment you headed out to the tavern. He was supposed to have a quiet drink with you and enjoy your presence outside your lovely home for once.

“Oh, you absolute charmer!” One of the women by your side laughed loudly. She gave you a playful shove, and as someone who has been the one to receive and give such a tactic, Kaeya already knew her intentions with you. “It’s honestly a miracle of sorts that you’re still unwed!”

Kaeya had to intervene before any of the you-deprived people made a move. He entered the space and everyone parted out of respect. You only gave him a beaming smile that left him invigorated, “Ah! Captain Kaeya! What an honor!”

“Hoho~ the fabled Mondstadt’s homemaker heading out for drinks? How fascinating. Care to have a drink with me? I have much to ask of you.” It was a silent plea behind his words, and you weren’t always so mean to him hence your obedience, letting him lead you up into the far less populated second floor.

“Have you learned that there’s a way to see how well someone can kiss?” You were quick to bring up and Kaeya just had to know. He pulled you in by the waist, knowing that he’s safe from the prying eyes (and even if there were, he wouldn’t mind them seeing).

“Oh is that so? Pray tell what that might be, hm?”

“Apparently if you can tie a cherry step into a knot, it means that you’re an expert at it! And,” you paused, a hand digging into your pocket as you showed Kaeya what seems to be knotted stem, “Looks like I passed the test?”

Kaeya and his teasing nature couldn’t help but prod further, “Hoh? But shouldn’t I be the judge of that? Not some stem. Matter of fact, did you just do that to prove yourself… or to impress others?”

A mischievous mirth lit up in your eyes that usually gleamed of innocence and Kaeya was over the moon at hitting the jackpot. You wasted no second as you bent down, one knee already pressing up against his lower region and he had to stifle a quiet groan at the sensation. Truly, the grip you had in him was absolutely maddening.

With a grin, you tilted his head up, adoring the way his eye closed in anticipation. And to his surprise, he could only feel something rub up against his closed eye, as you gave it a generous lick, like a dog oh so happy to see his owner. But Kaeya had to wonder… just who was the owner in this relationship… surely even with the way you’re acting you would know…

You gave him a peck on the lips and Kaeya almost lost it when he could smell his favorite wine on you, “I may have to control myself for now, dearest. While it thrills me so, I believe you have a reputation to uphold.”

Kaeya could care less now, with eyes clouded with lust, he could only tug into your trousers with a lazy smirk, “Are you certain about that?”

The look in your hungry eyes said no.

𐂂

Tartaglia

Cruel — other than his loving family back in Snezhnaya, that was what people would initially regard him as if they were to know of his status as the eleventh harbinger of the Fatui. Should people look past his boyish charms and friendly smile, they would’ve known how utterly devious Childe could be. And that was something he took pride on, he loved the fear he instilled in his enemies and his time down in abyss only further exacerbated the carnal urge to come out on top.

He has his reasons though — considering that he was the youngest among the lineup of the Tsarita’s harbingers. He has to prove his spot, and if being merciless was the way to go through it all, then he would gladly do so with little to no complaints.

Alas, he was a competitive fellow too. Almost everything is a challenge to him; one he would take on with gusto and flawlessness; essentially what his trademark is meant to be. But even he was sure that he could not compare to the likes of you.

Especially in cruelty.

His very endeared partner, you, hailing from nowhere, you suddenly became a sought after figure under the Cryo Archon’s kingdom. Admiration could not even come close to Childe’s feelings whenever you would grant him a few seconds of your time to show up. But now that he has you as his beloved sweetheart, none could pry him away from you. And admittedly, he even became far more hesitant in heeding the Tsarita’s orders should he be parted from you on missions.

He says you’re his sweetheart, but even Childe knows better. It was you who turned him into a subservient sweetheart, pliant and soft under your mean gaze, almost begging to be around you for even just one second. And you were sure that he’d have gone mad in ecstasy if you starved him with only your blood to offer for his sustenance. Hence the ecstatic look on your beloved harbinger was nothing short of adorable when the Tsarita had let you accompany him to Liyue.

However, your cruelty knows no bounds; and Childe learned that the hard way.

Or perhaps, he was still learning as he watched you completely ignore him since your arrival in Liyue, opting to dote on his subordinates instead, which greatly infuriated him beyond reason. You promised! You promised that only he could have your attention within your stay, and that you would make up for the time he headed back home only to hear that you were in Fontaine, holding an audience with the Chief Justice of the nation. But you weren’t making good on it in the slightest bit.

If only he knew that your cruelty was a process to be had. That your cruelty in itself was a form of sickening kindness, a way for him to need you more, to realize that he can’t have it any better after you… not like there was ever a need to convince him anyway.

And as the night finally fell, a moody Childe faced you as soon as you returned home from your little outing with the Liyue Qixing (whom you’ve made a promise to have a deal with in the near future). There was a cute pout in his lovely face and you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh in amusement, watching his normally blank eyes emit such ferocious jealousy.

“Careful dear, any more of that and you’ll be having wrinkles.” Your laugh was quick to pull him out of his brooding, finding it hard to stay mad now that finally, you were talking to him.

Childe felt like a child deprived of any form of love as he made a mad dash towards you who barely left the doorway and engulfed you in a hug, tight and absolutely refused to let go. If he were only more aware, he would’ve seen the pleased devious smile on your face before prying him away from you, resorting into a disapproving frown from your partner.

“You owe me this much, y’know? You—” Not even before he could make his proper argument, Childe already found himself getting pulled back in, a grip around his waist with one arm while the other caressed his cheek.

“I owe you?” Your mirthless laugh sends shivers down his spine and as your gloved hands linger down from his cheek down to the skin of his neck, Childe could only whimper in a poorly concealed excitement. “Dear, I owe you absolutely nothing.” You spat and the harbinger took it with open arms.

He was quick to be reduced into a speechless man as your eyes switched from something loving to something far more dangerous and addicting. Childe could feel himself stiffen in anticipation as your fingers lingered around his neck, tracing his Adam’s apple with a thinly veiled threat.

“I owe you nothing, you lowly harbinger. In fact, I’d like to raise a complaint, yes?” His throat bobbed at your cruel look. “The one night we spent on the ship, it was in rather poor taste. Matter of fact, I despised it. You performed so poorly, I had to finish myself off with someone else.”

It was a lie you both knew, but the thought of you with someone else already had Childe gripping against the lapels of your suit, in complete desperation to prove himself once more. “N-No, wait, I can…”

Your sneer was thrilling as it was arousing for Childe, and the mere thought that this would be the determinant of his life with you that was hanging by a thread was enough to get him going. Childe wasted no time to press up against you, in need to do better than his less than stellar performance.

Your lips ghosted over his trembling ones with a smirk. You absolutely loved your little harbinger.

𐂂

Thoma

Guilt flooded through Thoma’s heart as set his course on breaking another poor hopeful maiden’s heart. By all means, Thoma may be unassuming, but it was something already disproven by the many confessions he would receive on the daily. He was Inazuma’s fixer, and was quite popular around neighborhood, not only as the trusted keeper of the renonwed Kamisato siblings, but also as the reliable man that anyone could go to.

And who was anyone to argue? He really did know how to aid people, so much so that the prettiest maidens ought to take him for themselves, finding his abilities endearing, and that while he was no Kamisato, he still is one of the most attractive men in the nation. Often times he does find himself to be the butt of teasing from Ayato and the pitiful smiles that Ayaka would give him.

While one would think it shouldn’t even be that big of a deal, it was more of the fact that there was an existing reason for all of this turmoil. And that just happened to be his dearly beloved fiancé, you. Alas, Thoma never had the guts to tell most people about the love that you and him shared, but rest assured he was not trying to hide you. It’s more of the prejudiced notion of him being a mere housekeeper suddenly about to get married to an important figure like you in Teyvat.

People were conservative in their views, and rarely do they find it amusing when someone of high status hopes to get married to someone who is beneath them.

Thoma hated it so, but he was doing this more for you. He has heard of the extremes Ayato has to go through to keep the Kamisato name alive. And while you haven’t experienced the same thing, Thoma wasn’t going to be the first reason for you to suffer the same fate as his boss — hence his resignation to absolute secrecy.

You, however, did not mind. Sure, you were placed on a pedestal just because of your influence stretching across all nations, but even a small uproar about your marriage to Thoma was nothing in comparison to your gigantic business, in fact, your underground organization can quash any hushed whispers from every corner of this world. But you respected Thoma’s effort and found them quite endearing, him going through all those lengths just for your sake. Nothing could get you going more than an honest and loyal man like him.

What you didn’t appreciate however, was the scene before. You’ve officially arrived back home in Inazuma, dressed in your finest robes as you were hoping to surprise your beloved fiancé — only to be greeted with a less than pleasant sight of a woman nearly convulsing in embarrassment as she spilled her heart out to who was meant to be yours.

Thoma had to learn the hard way. You ought to teach him a lesson. And that was certainly a promise you would make good on.

Thoma’s house was nothing short of comfortable and cozy, far more humble than the grand castle that awaits him as soon as he marries you. And while the luxury it brought was absolutely divine, Thoma could only argue that his home is where you are. It didn’t matter where, as long as you were in it, Thoma can live in peace.

And nothing could justify the absolute happiness in Thoma’s once he saw you by the stove, cooking something. You… you were here! With him again! His home has finally returned.

Oh if only knew just how much guilt would pool in his little heart once you get on with the punishment.

Tiny gasps escaped from Thoma’s lips, quiet murmurs of pleas for you to slow down, to let him breathe and ask why the sudden aggression. He had never expected you to be so rough. Your presence could be intimidating (even to him in your first meet), but you were far more gentle than this beastly rendition of yourself.

Despite his begging, you heeded so little of his words and pursued even harder, fingers intertwining on the chain of his dog tag, where his engagement ring was. No wonder that woman didn’t take a hint.

“P-Please, dear— let me—!”

“Was this some kind of joke?” Thoma should be scared, he knows, but the way your lips pulled into a mean snarl had him squirming in a far more pleasurable way. He shrank under your gaze as you tugged into the ring. “You are my fiancé — and I was just about ready to forgive you for even entertaining that scag when I realized your ring wasn’t on your finger.”

Thoma’s eyes widened at your words. Never have you expressed such distaste and jealousy towards him before, sure, you were territorial, but at the very least you were not an unreasonably jealous partner. It only served as a surprise when he realized that he was barely fighting this side of you, finding himself pressing further into you, to appease you.

The sigh of disappointment that left your system was the straw that broke the camel’s back as he quickly threw his arms around your neck, pulling you close as he murmured his apologies. He couldn’t bear to see you like this and to see you so disappointed in him… he might as well leave this plane of existence.

However, you quickly dismissed his apologies, “Let me make it up to you dear,” you muttered against his neck, already ready to nip at his creamy skin. “I’ll make sure no one ever makes the mistake of approaching you ever.”

Needless to say, the angry bright red marks on his neck never left under your surveillance and vigorous reapplication until Thoma drills the fact that he was yours into his head for good.

𐂂

Zhongli

Submission is a concept that Zhongli as Morax could never hope to entertain. He was the domineering figure in Liyue, being its god and everything. His position towered over his fellow adepti and ruled over every being that stepped in his nation with an iron fist. Zhongli would even go as far as to admitting that he was a brute at times, resorting into bouts of possessiveness over what was his. Only that, he can blame on his dragon characteristics.

However among all the people that hailed him up until his death, there was one that he just couldn’t particularly figure out. That thing being you — a puzzle piece that he couldn’t figure out. You were the physical embodiment of the rock that trips any unfortunate mortal in their path.

There was just something with the way you held yourself with your decadent nature that was sure to allure people from left to right. You carried yourself so lightly with an air of innocence yet every move you made was no doubt calculated, precise, and hypnotically seductive, luring him in like a sweet poison.

And as the years went by, he had worked tirelessly to close the gap that you yourself have made him aware of. He found it utterly laughable — the fact that he, the one who lords over everyone, making a conscious effort to get close to you. In fact, he was even sure it was you that compelled him to do so, forcing him into your space like a vortex that only has the intention of drawing him in and swallowing him whole.

Truly, Morax was worth his salt — considering that he was correct about his assumptions.

Zhongli sat with you in the comfort of his favored restaurant, opening his eyes after relishing in the tea that was served only to see your unabashed staring. He lightly bristled, surprised at your undivided attention. Even with the times you and him have spent together, nothing could best that gaze of yours — something that Zhongli felt proud in holding the distinction of having. No one has ever seen you look at someone like the way you looked at him, and it was something that the former Geo Archon took pride in.

“Something on your mind, darling?” He asked, hoping to pry open those chaotic thoughts of yours.

Still with that cloying smile of yours that he so loved to look at you, reached a hand to thumb at the corner of his lips, “Just you.” You laughed as you felt him stiffen under your touch. Zhongli truly was a treat for you to indulge and one you can never let go of.

He was your precious little dragon, unknowingly obsessive and possessive and so painfully subservient under your touch. You so loved to toy with him most of the time, but even then, you couldn’t erase the fact that he has you wrapped around him just as much he does to you.

Zhongli could feel his breath hitch as your gentle hands slowly pried his mouth open, and he, without question abided. You were still an enigma to him, still completely unaware of how much you’ve trapped him within your hold, with no hopes of escaping (not like he has wanted to). And as your fingertips brushed against his soft lips, he was much too distracted when a carnal desire glinted through your eyes.

The former god had to thank the bustling busybodies of Liyue harbor for covering up the absolute debauchery you had subjected yourself and him into — by the small gap between shops, dark enough from the shadow in between, you had pushed Zhongli into it with a look of desire on your face.

It must’ve been because he sought you out and that he was used to being the one who has to keep up with you, but there was something so delicious in the way he always craved for your touch. You weren’t even so scarce with it either, as every time he demanded, you obliged. Oh how foolish he was to think that he was the one with control — unable to realize the mere fact that with every touch that leaves him breathless is a poison the continues to corrupt him from the inside out.

Suddenly, every touch of yours was not enough — that he needed so much more, and all of it can be proven with the way Zhongli had desperately pulled you into him. He was filled to the brim with the need and want and you did not withhold any of it.

He was left gasping as you fondled him through his work clothes, lips attached to his neck that left one too many marks.

“Darling, please…” his pleas came out in a form of a breathy whimper and you had to be cruel.

“Oh? Look at you, so absolutely ruined, my lord.” Your jabs went straight the heat that pooled into his stomach, suddenly taken aback by your sudden coyness. It was taking him back to all those centuries that past when you and him were young and stupid.

Zhongli gripped onto your shoulders, uncaring whether or not he too had wrinkled your suit. A pleading look flashed through his eyes, much to your elation. But you continued to toy with him, somehow after being spoiled rotten, even the wisest consultant of Liyue could not resist the feeling of impatience that painfully ate away at him.

“How do you think your other adepti friends would say at the sight of their dear old Morax… so pitifully in need of his beloved’s touch?” Your words sent shivers down to his spine. You just took away his demands for your touch and now you’re depriving him of the praises you would sing to him so sweetly every time? How cruel!

A whimper escaped from his trembling lips, “It’s not… it’s not pitiful…” He tries to fight and justify but even then he knew it was a futile attempt.

Your hands that gripped his waist tightened and he fought the urge to grant you that sweet delectable sound of pleasure out of revenge, “I find that very hard to believe.” You weren’t even trying as you drew out what you wanted from him with one more forceful squeeze against his supple flesh.

His head quickly fell into your shoulder and you can slowly see the disappearance of the feared warrior god as Zhongli begged for your touch, “Please… don’t deprive me of this… you’re all I need and have…”

A huff of amusement left your system as you tipped his head up by the chin, you leaned in, giving him one tiny peck that elicited yet another soft whine and licked his lips, watching them glisten with your saliva.

“Right you are dear… I’m all you have and that’s all you’ll ever need.”

#lmao not me realizing i have a thing for tongues after writing this #genshin impact x male reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #alhaitham x male reader #alhaitham x gn reader #ayato x male reader #ayato x gn reader #diluc x male reader #diluc x gn reader #itto x male reader #itto x gn reader #kaeya x male reader #kaeya x gn reader #childe x male reader #childe x gn reader #thoma x male reader #thoma x gn reader #zhongli x male reader #zhongli x gn reader #dom reader #jhuzen’s stupid scenarios

[wizard-on-whales]

Modern AU! for rdr2 characters

These are my headcannons for each character and what I think they would do in modern times.

Characters included: Arthur, Micah, Dutch, John, Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, Tilly, Sadie, Strauss, Charles, Susan, Bill, Lenny, Hosea, Sean, Molly, Javier, Swanson

_______________________________

Arthur Morgan: 

He works a blue-collar job. He would most likely be a ranch hand, but for some reason, I can also imagine him being a plumber or welder. In his free time, he does art and sells prints on Etsy. He is still an old-fashioned gentleman (In a good way), and all of the ladies he meets swoon for him, but he is a himbo and doesn't realize they are practically in love with him. They will give him the most obvious hints, but he will think the women are just being nice. 

Micah Bell:

He's the creepy uncle that you avoid at every family gathering. He hasn't had a job in like 15 years, and no one knows how he can still pay his bills. And he also always smells like lingering alcohol and cigarettes. He will lean too close to his nieces and say extremely concerning things everyone would choose to ignore. Im also getting the vibes that he went to prison for several years, but no one knows what for.

Dutch Van Der Linde:

He sells people scams or owns a pyramid scheme business. Similar to Scentsy products, he somehow convinces all of these people to buy his products to sell to other people, telling them they will get rich by selling these products, but, in reality, he's screwing them over and making most of the money himself. 

John Marston: 

If we are talking about early Red Dead 2 Marston, he still lives in his parent's basement and plays video games on his PC all day. He also watches Andrew Tate and would try to boss Abigail around and tell her he's an alpha male. (She'd slap him and tell him to get over himself) Late rdr2 and rdr1, he's grown out of that mindset and has become a working family man. Potentially also a welder, like I said for Arthur. But any high-paying physical job works.  

I feel like Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, and Tilly would all have a mom group they host every week to discuss their child's newest achievements. Their husbands think that is all they do at the meetings, but they also have in-depth conversations about women's suffrage and how the world caters to men. They think of ways to better the world and bring more women together to discuss these topics and bring light to issues regarding women. The girls would run a pretty popular Facebook group where they let other women express their opinions on those topics. (Arthur is a part of the Facebook group and likes every post he sees and comments shit like, “You're doing great, ladies! Keep up the good work! 😁🥰👍”) 

Sadie would probably occasionally attend these meetings (Although I dont see her having children, she would go for the cheap wine and to hang with her friends). Sadie would also go for the in-depth conversations and bring new thoughts to the table because she is a CEO or manager for a very successful company. She would share her experiences of what it's like to be on top of the men who work for her but still be looked down upon by them simply because of her gender. She would also probably share tips on that Facebook page on how to create a successful business without having to attend years of college and give tips for all stay-at-home moms who want to be more than just moms and wives. (She would also be the cool rich aunt)

Leopold Strauss: 

He would do the same thing. He gives loans to people who he knows won't be able to pay back the money, and then when the bill comes, he'd ruin their lives and probably end up breaking up families/ relationships and send people to jail for not paying back the money in time. 

Charles Smith:

I can see him being a park ranger or working in any conservation field. Potentially even a firefighter who deals with all of the forest fires that happen in places along the West Coast. He’d also be one to do something similar to what he did in the game, but he would work with the local native tribes against companies to try to win back their lands before it gets plowed over for an Amazon factory or something. 

Susan Grimshaw:

I can see her being the mean substitute teacher who yells at everyone to get to work, and then when someone does something slightly wrong, she would yell at the whole class and be like, “In all of my years of teaching, I have never seen a class behave this badly.” Either that or she would work at the front desk of the business Sadie runs. Miss Grimshaw would NOT play with anyone who would try to be rude towards her. 

Bill Williamson: 

Ehem…a police officer. I feel like this one is self-explanatory. But he would mostly sit in his car and do nothing his entire shift. Occasionally pulling someone over for speeding. If they are a white dude, he'd would let them off with just a warning. Poor Lenny would probably get the ticket. 

Lenny Summers: 

I feel like he would be the one to graduate high school early and go to college as soon as possible. I dont know exactly what he would choose for his degree, but I feel like it would be something involving politics. Maybe that wouldn't be his major, but he would take a government class. Or Potentially going into journaling. 

Hosea Matthews:

He's the retired grandpa who used to work in a factory where he made a surprising amount of money and was able to retire early. He spends most of his days walking up at 5 in the morning to watch the sunrise and read the morning paper. And he’ll spend every opportunity he gets to take his kids or grandkids fishing. And if you stay at his house overnight or for the weekend, he gives you a bowl of ice cream every night before bed and recounts every story he could think of that happened from the last time you saw him. (Some of them are surprisingly concerning, but he is one of those badass grandpas)

Sean Macguire:

Similar to John, Sean would spend most of his time gaming on his PC and arguing with children on COD or Fortnite. But he also works at a local bar as the bartender and won't hesitate to argue with the drunk assholes and would slap a bitch if needed. But he also embarrasses himself by flirting with women who will give him dirty looks or tell him that they are gay. (I feel like Karen would also work late-night shifts at the bar with him, but shes also taking online college classes because she wants to be a social worker) 

Molly O’Shea:

Instagram and TikTok influencer 100%, and lots of brands like to sponsor her and send her free stuff (Mostly because of Dutch’s business.) and she posts videos of her and Dutch, and everyone in the comments freaks out about how he is grooming her because of their age difference but she denies it all and says that they are actually in love.  But then she would post a video to that one sound, “My god this reminds me of when we were young.” And Molly be like 8, and Dutch be in his mid-to-late 20s. 

Javier Escuella: 

He’d be a musician. He would have started out in a shitty garage band with Sean and John or something, but then he’d realize he actually wants to be a serious musician while the other guys were just messing around. So he’d leave and make solo music that blows up, and he ends up going on tour, and making a lot of money and becoming hugely successful. 

Reverend Swanson:

The preacher you always see in the corner of the bar Sean works at. And if you went up to him and started talking to him, he’d tell you the most profound things. He would tell you about his life when he was younger and what happened that made him lose hope, but he would motivate you to never give up. He’d be that person you meet by chance for a few seconds that you would never forget. Hosea probably invites him to go fishing with him from time to time. But instead of fishing, Swanson stares at the water ripples in silence. Hosea would let him sit in silence and let Swanson enjoy the company and the time to think while being sober. 

----------------------------

#arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #dutch van der linde #van der linde gang #john marston #micah bell #hosea matthews #red dead fandom #javier escuella #lenny summers #arthur morgan rdr2

[squircatlies]

Here's some notes I've compiled for trans people seeking to become fear avatars:

-the flesh- classic, we all know what's going on there, body image issues, additional limbs, twisted bones, general body horror, a lot of toxic masculinity and way too many gym bros in the space. Very popular with trans people in the fandom, because it's relatable but for me it's mid at best. 5/10

-the corruption- you can transition into a cool bug of your choice or a hive and noone could tell you shit about using they/them pronouns, very accepting community, but there's no place for privacy or personal space. 7/10

-the beholding- somehow I doubt the Magnus Institute's insurance policy covers gender affirming care, but maybe you could get someone else to pay for your transition via blackmail or sugarbabying, don't be surprised if your scars open to reveal eyes though, I think body hopping via eyeball exchange is only for Jonah, but maybe you could figure it out. 6/10

-the lonely- not gonna do much for you, unless you wanna transition into mist, also you easily cut off all the bigots from your life and send anyone who tries to mess with you into the fog realm, but it's gonna be really difficult for you to get a solid support network. 4/10

-the dark- go ahead and disappear from your old life if you want to, noone's gonna find you even if they try, you could also dabble in body hopping via black goo, the religious aspect might not be everyone's vibe though. 6/10

-the end- fake your death and live your best life, you could also shed your mortal vessel or perhaps become a skeleton, no notes. 9/10

-the web- if you want to transition into a spider this one's for you, very specific, but better than corruption imo, also web binder/tucktape anyone? 8/10

-the hunt- you might transition into a werewolf, very badass, be careful not to transition into a cop though. 5/10

-the stranger- literally just steal any face you want, frankenstein your perfect skin, it's that easy. 10/10

-the slaughter- there's no place for gender in war, sorry but you're getting ptsd, not hrt. 0/10

-the desolation- you get to sculpt yourself into any shape you want, kinda like the flesh, but without all the baggage, it's gonna hurt like hell, but you'll get used to it, be trans, commit arson. 9/10

-the spiral- your gender is literally unknowable, also you might become a maze-like structure or it may become you, if you ever felt gender envy while looking at a door, this one is for you. 7/10

-the burried- if you ever slept in a binder get in the coffin, I don't make the rules. It does give you a feeling of safety and cool dinosaur fossils, so why hide in the closet when you can hide underground? 3/10

-the vast- not a lot in terms of gender affirming care, unless you get gender envy from like space or something, but you get to fly, live really long and feed your enemies to the sky. 2/10

-the extinction- noone can question your gender if everyone is dead, I guess. But also there's trash everywhere. 1/10

#the magnus archives #tma shitpost #tma headcanons #tma the eye #tma the web #tma the spiral #tma the stranger #tma the vast #tma the buried #tma the desolation #tma the beholding #tma the lonely #tma the flesh #tma the slaughter #tma the hunt #tma the dark #tma the extinction #tma the end #tma the corruption #tma fears #transgender #feel free to add your own foughts on this #tma

[9800sblog]

Pick A Card tarot reading - which Britney Spears musical era are you? 🤔

from ...Baby One More Time to Hold Me Closer, which one of the icon's released albums fit best with you at the moment? let's ask tarot and find out, what is the soundtrack of your life?

this was @saturnsbabe69 request! ;)

pick one tarot card from my very low budget montage (britney pictures simply fillers).

from left to right, north to south:

Pile 1 strength, Pile 2 hanged man, Pile 3 hermit, Pile 4 king of pentacles, Pile 5 6 of cups, Pile 6 7 of pentacles, Pile 7 judgement, Pile 8 the world, Pile 9 3 of pentacles, Pile 10 6 of wands.

-> pile 1

...Baby One More Time (1999)

you're all about soft power! the most important thing in your life is probably your friends, you'd do anything for those you choose to keep in your life and you love going out with them during summer, but you also love getting away from the center of attention to restore your peace, you're quite introspective. right now, you might be living the consequences from your actions, you've accepted it but you're still in suffering - you might have neglected a situation/person in your life or smother it/them out of desperation and now it's gone. you know the pain is temporary and you turn that pain into some beautiful thoughts, your perspective on life might be tinted but it's still somehow bright and beautiful. you might be going through a coming of age experience. you have the spirit of a leader and an ace, you know how to bring everyone together, yet you feel alone, you're looking for someone to be that person for you too, you might have many friends, but you want that special love ^^ your personality is big and people naturally gravitate towards you, you feel loved and loving, you feel you have so much and you just wanna give back to others, you're a really caring, sensitive individual, who uses rational thinking to protect yourself. main character energy.

your theme song:

-> pile 2

Femme Fatale (2011), S&M (Remix) (2011), B In The Mix, The Remixes Vol 2 (2011)

you're comfortable in discomfort, you dance while the world ends, you're both the parent friend and the party friend. you're unafraid and experienced and you have no time to waste on things that don't matter, the world is such an oppressive mess and you think there's no reason why you should let that take part in your chill time. you're someone that doesn't care about romance and you wanna have fun as much as you can, for as long as you can, the only time is now, you live in the present. you're the life of the party but when it's time for business, you take it seriously. you might have some anarchist ideologies, you seem to believe the socioeconomic systems of your modern world steals you of your personal power and ability to be a human, you call for a social awakening and you think there's no pretty way to do it - that might just mean "work is hard so I'm gonna party even harder" - you think being selfish (not self-centered) and not thinking about the future is part of self care. this era was the time when the popular belief was the world would end in 2012, people wanted to enjoy their lives as much as possible.

your theme song:

-> pile 3

Blackout (2007), Britney & Kevin: Chaotic DVD Bonus Audio (2005)

you're super introspective and private, you don't necessarily hide anything, but youre complicated, one would have to pay close attention and take their time to connect the dots and understand your entire vibe. some may think you put yourself in an unnecessarily unfortunate situation, like you have everything to go anywhere you want, but you just stay stuck; others think you are stuck, but you don't realize it, that you think you're powerful, but you're actually childish and delusional; the truth, however, is that you're in a moment of analysis to come up with the best plan before making bigger decisions, you like to wait for the most favorable time to take action. you might not have many friends, but those few close relationships fulfill you more than anything else ever could, they take over your entire heart. your heart is your biggest treasure and is the basis for all your decisions, you've been hurt and lied to in ways that has changed your entire worldview, so you're extra careful now and you may act in ways that others don't understand, you might feel like you're lying to yourself and others too. but you stay true to yourself no matter what, you might have very strong spiritual beliefs that keep you grounded and looking forward to the future, you know that limbo and pain are temporary and you're sure of your capacity to survive them, no matter that anyone says.

your theme song:

-> pile 4

Oops!... I Did It Again (2000), My Only Wish (This Year) (2000)

it's your world and we're just living in it, you feel like your life is a spectacle for people to watch and you have to be on your best behavior at all times. you prefer actions over words, you think people should act on their thoughts and feelings, instead of hiding them, so you worry and ponder a lot about yours. you are great at public speaking because you know how to manipulate reality into your ideals, almost like you have double personality; you've got many people to support you and put you back on the line if you stray from it. you like the feeling of nostalgia, you might think there's no reason to say absolute goodbye to your childhood, that might translate in the way you talk or dress, you're not childish tho, but you like that playful innocence sometimes, it can feel refreshing since you feel like people expect too much from you that you don't even understand. you think other people talk too much about things they don't know and you think it sucks that you still need to find a way to please them somehow, you wish the world was just you and your people.

your theme song:

-> pile 5

Britney (2001)

you're a walking contradiction! you're probably such a hipster!! >:) you love music that is older than you, you care so much what others think of you but you pretend it doesn't bother you at all, and you're very spiritual, but you have your yin/yang energies out of balance. you approach life as if you're stuck, but you know it's a temporary and natural situation, you need to go through that to become stronger, but you still mourn the fact that you can't do anything at this time, it's like having to exercise on a beautiful, sunny day. you're a creative soul but you don't use that creativity to deal with emotions, you wanna get things done, you're more comfortable and productive on a yang energy/way of approaching the world, you wanna be seen as a king, but not a queen (roles and responsibilities). you want everything and then some, you might like to use your material abilities to allow yourself to have many options. you probably have a superiority complex, fucking hipsters 🙄...... you remind me of lorelai gilmore! ;)

your theme song:

-> pile 6

Glory (2020)

you're the goat. you've worked really hard to reap the fruits of your labor, now you deserve to settle down. you dream of a knight in shiny armor - romantically or not, you want someone to take the time to see you in your most human form, you want to bare your soul, to show your dark and lonely side. you might relate to the saying that "it's lonely at the top", you might have everything you wanted, except for this one thing that is out of reach and that might be community, you seem to lack that sense of intimate and close relationships. you're really satisfied with life, you're happy and fulfilled, you have more than you need, there's just this one thing you think "damn, wish I could tap that".

your theme song:

-> pile 7

Britney Jean (2013), Ooh La La (2013), Bangerz (2013), Pretty Girls (2015), The Essential Britney Spears (2013)

you go with the flow and it takes you far. you might have recently ended a very important connection in your life because of sneaky actions and lies. you need no patience anymore, you've done your job, you feel comfortable in yourself, knowing you're not the problem. you think you'd be better if somebody more experienced would show you the way through life, specially if they're a spiritual guide (might be tarot). you wanna be that guide too, you like to share the things you learned with those around you. you think you can't control anything or anyone, except for yourself and you don't try, whatever happens, happens. you might believe in destiny, afterlife, God's plan, free will or karma.

your theme song:

-> pile 8

Circus (2008), The Singles Collection (2009)

you're a god of yourself and your own world, you're on a league of your own, there's no one quite like you, a trendsetter, others may try to copy but they could never get to be as iconic as you. you've been through some really difficult, overwhelming, surreal times, the way you deal with your demons is even more surreal, you're a boss, I lack words to describe how amazing you are. you understand the importance of family and friendships, you put those above any material matters, you're very nurturing, dedicated and you expect the same in return. you are protective of yourself and those close to you and you're ready to fight anyone that disrupts your peace. your grandness transpires into the little things you do, your confidence and amazing, outstanding personality traits shows in your everyday life, even when it's not your best work, it's still better than average. you might lack imagination (or creative control in your work), you like to keep low expectations, you're not used to things going well for you. you are an angel tho.

your theme song:

-> pile 9

In The Zone (2003) + DVD Bonus (2004), Greatest Hits: My Prerogative (2004), B In The Mix, The Remixes (2005)

you're all about big businesses. you think a lot about the circle of life, you're open to the guidance of those at the top of the hierarchy and you help those who are lower than you, you think people should help people. you don't wanna change anyone, you just wanna do your thing while other people do their thing. you are incredibly magnetic and you might use human instincts to get things done, pretty privilege being an example. there's a feeling of you coming out of the dead, you might have waited a long time for something that you have finally accomplished and you feel like royalty. this is the biggest time of your life (so far), you have that x factor, you're at the top, you wanna enjoy all of life's big and little pleasures and you have the freedom to do so.

your theme song:

-> pile 10

Hold Me Closer (2021), Toxic Pony (2022), ELVIS (2023)

you're a community person, it's people that build you up, you're likely an extrovert that loves to dance, party and travel with friends, you see nobody above nobody - if it was up to you, social hierarchies would be gone completely. this might not be the best time of your life, but you're incredibly hopeful because this moment in the present feels so otherworldly amazing. you feel as one with your environment, connected with everything and everyone. you feel safe to follow your heart because you have people to help you build your stability, you feel like there isn't one ruler above all - you might have recently broken up a deal with quite an important figure in your life, but it only broadened your horizons, like they were a lunar eclipse and you, the sun. your heart is strong and beating faster than ever! oh you're a big deal! super humble but hey you can totally brag!

your theme song:

i love britney spears

#tarot #celebrity tarot reading #celebrity readings #tarot game #free tarot #britney spears #pick a card #pick a deck #pick a picture #pick a pile #pac #pac tarot #Spotify

[kiwiana-writes]

I dont think anyone subscribes to you for t rated 5 +1s in your own au lol. Chop chop with those wip’s porn girl!

Well. Quite a bit to unpack here on an otherwise unassuming Friday!

#1:

#2: I actually track this stuff. Admittedly the E-rated percentage is a bit higher if you look at RWRB only, but overall...

#3: I think anyone who subscribes to me on AO3, or indeed anyone who follows the kiwiana-writes tag here on tumblr and sees all those fucking WIPs, knows that I like to write a bit of variety. That's not to say there aren't definite underpinnings of, like, themes and vibes that I return to over and over (which I can only assume are why people subscribe to me), but if someone only likes my college AUs, or only likes my post-canon stuff, or only likes my E-rated stuff, or only wants to listen to my podfics, they're probably going to have a much more successful time saving the tag search than subscribing to me at the author level. Or they've mastered the art of archiving and moving on without complaining about it, like I do when the authors I'm subscribed to write something that doesn't interest me. It's a useful skill! I highly recommend cultivating it.

#4: AO3 not giving series stats is and continues to be the bane of my life, but based on the number of people who subscribed to the OG actor AU, there's probably a significant chunk of people who aren't subscribed to me as an author and only want the actor AU verse stuff. And good for them! I LOVE that AO3 offers multiple ways to subscribe so you can get notified for the stuff you want (my kingdom for the ability to subscribe to individual pseuds, though.)

#5: This fandom is OVERFLOWING right now. Like, I can't keep up. You only want to read E-rated stuff? Awesome! Well over 100 E-rated fics have been posted in the RWRB bookverse tag just this week (it looks like most of the movieverse smut has also been tagged bookverse, but either way it's also very easy to find). Or go back to older fics and find some hidden gems—there's nothing an author loves more than for someone to come in and gush about a fic they wrote a year or two ago.

#6: You don't pay me, and I'm not subject to annual review. One of my favourite authors was talking this morning about how sometimes she thinks about taking a break from writing for RWRB because it's starting to feel a little rat racey, and that would suck for me personally because I love her stuff but god knows I couldn't blame her, because the (extreme minority but still exhausting) entitled comments and rudeness really do not help. Stop treating your favourite authors like content creators who owe you something new on a regular schedule, because that's a damn good way to ensure they don't want to create anything new ever again. Like... anon, you haven't even bothered to couch this in a compliment. The bar is ten feet underground and somehow you still managed to trip over it.

#7: Not to be all 'back in my day' but... well, back in my day, snippets and peeks into the universe of a remotely popular longfic were pretty much the standard lol. Nobody is forcing you to read them, I promise.

#8: I've posted two E-rated fics in the last two weeks.

#9: Honestly I just really want to reiterate #1 because what the hell lol. While pronouns don't equal gender, it's pretty reasonable to extrapolate from pronouns if you don't have any other info to go on—and of the three "main/standard" pronouns, the one most closely associated with 'girl' is the only one that ISN'T in my bio 🤦

#anonymous

[back2bluesidex]

Could I request Snow on the Beach and Tae? I don't have any specific genre requests. But I love how dream-like your writing is, and it would fit the overall vibe of the song. 🥰

Snow on the Beach - KTH

Pairing: Actor!Taehyung X Assistant Director!Reader

Theme: Fluff, confessions

Song: Snow on the Beach

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Nothing at all

Minors and Karens Are Not Allowed in this Blog!!

A/N: Thank you so much for this request and also, thanks for calling my writing dream-like. 😭 Hope this turned out the way you wanted.

“And cut!” the director’s voice pierce through the wet, chilly but somehow pleasant ocean air. 

Seven months worth of hard work comes to an end today, just within a blink. How did seven months vanish in thin air, just like that? 

It was just yesterday when you got Mr. Choi’s call out of the blue, asking you to assist him as an assistant director in one of his upcoming dramas. You heave a sigh of relief. Obviously, everything that’s good, comes to an end, regardless of your wishes. Now it’s time to pray. Praying for the final product to turn out just as you and Mr.Choi want, praying for the drama to be received well, praying for your career to finally take off after the success of this project, praying to meet Kim Taehyung again and again. 

God! You are so impossibly in love! And you never planned on this. Certainly, a struggling, barely getting by, direction professional like you could not even afford to think of falling for someone as high profile as Kim Taehyung, who is also one of the most popular actors of the industry.  

Yet, you did. You fell for him, that too, head over heels. 

Taehyung is nothing like what you thought he would be. This being the first project with him, you got to see him upclose. 

Usually high profile actors and actresses like him tend to be nosy, a little problematic and sometimes straight up rude. 

But Taehyung is different.

Every time you suggested something, he listened to it, considered it, told you if he likes it or not and if he did, he acted upon your suggestions. 

He would always go an extra mile and would bring snacks and coffees to the set. 

He was hardly ever late. 

He would place his own suggestions very gently whenever he didn’t like something instead of being super aggressive about it.

All in all, Kim Taehyung is certainly the most well-mannered and professional actor you have ever worked with.  

He is also the most handsome human being you have ever witnessed. 

His handsome features are certainly there but what makes him even more beautiful is the light that he emits. You have never seen anyone lit from within except for Taehyung. And as a result, you were falling hopelessly in love with him, even before you realized. 

You feel new, you feel refreshed, you feel content, you feel foreign under your own skin, is this what being in true love is? Just loving the person from a distance and not dying for their reciprocation? Is this what overpowers desires and sends you to a different dimension where you could stare at the person for hours after hours without wanting them to spare you a glance? And everything else becomes a bonus? 

You don’t realize that you have been staring at Taehyung for quite a few minutes while he hugs and greets staff congratulating a successful culmination of the shoot. But then you feel someone’s elbow on your upper arm, your trance breaks. 

“Get ready by seven. We are hitting the club tonight” says Hyun Mi, one of the production staff slash your new friend, as she brushes sand off her jeans. 

“Umm.. I am not going.” You reply, your eyes find the man again. 

“What? Why?” She is visibly upset. 

“I am tired. I need some sleep before the flight tomorrow. You guys have fun.” You reply, stealing a last glance at Taehyung. He catches your gaze on him and gives you a little smile accompanied with a small bow. 

Your heart starts beating abnormally in your chest. You bow back before starting to pack your stuff neatly in your bag. 

“It’s never tiring to watch the ocean, isn’t it?” the low, baritone voice that you have come to love so much, startles you out of nowhere. Your body shifts on its own accord in reaction to the voice and your coffee cup clanks against the balcony railing. 

“Easy, easy. It’s just me. Taehyung. Did I scare you?” he chuckles at your flustered form. 

Fuck. What is he doing here? You think. 

“Oh yes. You did.” You reply, inhaling a sharp breath. “Didn’t expect you here. I thought you were having dinner with the production house staff?” 

“I escaped.” he whispers, standing beside you a little too closely. Close enough for your arms to brush with his. Goosebumps spread all over your body, even though you are wearing a thick sweater. 

“What about you though? I thought you were clubbing with others?” His breath hits your skin directly and you understand the intensity of the proximity. 

“Nah. I would rather sit and stare at the sea alone.” you answer. 

“Then you don’t mind me keeping you company. Do you?” 

“Not at all. I appreciate it.” 

You two fall into a comfortable silence. There is no rush, no urgency of saying anything… just you and Taehyung, watching the ocean making and breaking a new wave each second. The moment feels too intimate, something you would share with a lover. 

Ironically enough, you are sharing it with the man you are in love with, also the man you can’t have. But it’s alright. You are at least sharing it with him. You don’t want anything more. You don’t even dare to wish for anything more. 

“Umm… are you perhaps seeing someone? As in dating?” He is the one to break the silence with a question that you have never expected. 

“No.” Your voice is small, unsettled and you don’t even know why. 

“Then.. Do you mind having a coffee with me when we go back to Seoul? I am free for the rest of the month so any time you can manage will be okay with me.” Taehyung manages to say it all within one breath. If you are not wrong then, his voice suggests nervousness. 

“Are you- are you asking me out?” Your own voice isn’t anything better. You, too, are very nervous. But your nervousness amplifies by tenfold when you turn your head to look at Taehyung. 

Soft ocean breeze ruffles his hair, his caramel brown eyes are full of mystery, his tongue pokes out of his mouth and wets his lips, you are staring at the scene as if he is aurora borealis. 

“Fuck. You’re beautiful.” Wait, did you just think loudly? But no. It's Taehyung’s voice. Wait, did he just call you beautiful? 

Your face hits up within a second. Your lips get caged within your teeth but you can’t hide your smile. Taehyung just called you beautiful, fuck! He did. You smile as if you just won a contest. 

“So, what’s your answer?” Taehyung’s voice rings right in your ear.

“I would love to have a coffee with you, Taehyung.” You somehow manage to voice out, despite the crazy beating of your heart. 

“I think I will need your personal number then.” Taehyung chuckles as he scoots even closer to your body, placing his hand on top of yours.

#bts fluff #taehyung fluff #bts x reader #taehyung x reader #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #taehyung x you #bts x you #bts x y/n

[babiebom]

Stardew Bachelor/ette’s as Mean Girls (2024) characters

A/N: i recently watched the new mean girls musical movie and it wasn’t as bad as people were saying it was. Like the singing and the songs were good, the cast fit their characters(except for Aaron’s actor sorry I feel like they could’ve gotten someone hotter but I do understand where Cady was coming from like he’s cute enough that if you’re in high school and in the same class as him at least one person would have a crush on him.) so like I do with everything I consume let’s stardew-ify it!!

Tw:mentions of bullying, cursing, sex, drugs, lmk if there’s something I missed!!

Bc: at least 4 for each

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Shane

Principal Duvall

Is tired of this shit

And teenage girls lowkey frighten him

Would yell and get everyone’s attention in the hallway bc I think he has the lungs

Would leave it to Leah to take over the assembly lmao

“Tell everyone you’re not a drug pusher PLEASE”

Elliott

Damian

While Elliott and Abigail aren’t really friends

He has the flamboyancy I feel to fit this character

Also it’s canon that all characters are bi so it’s okay for him to be in this role

Would probably have all the tea and would be as dramatic as Damian

“She doesn’t even go here?????”

He just seems bestie type

Alex

Aaron Samuels(is that his last name?)

I think this is as obvious as who Regina is.

I don’t think he’s as smart as Aaron is, BUT is popular enough to make Haley want to have some claim over him.

And is cute enough that new girls will immediately have a crush on him

Would actually be crushed if he got cheated on

Harvey

Kevin

The guy on the mathlete team or whatever it was called

Mostly because he’s smart and I do think he would’ve been in some nerdy ass club as a kid

Also at high school college point I do think he would’ve gone through a slightly edgy phase of being a nerd that talks about getting bitches all the time

Would want Maru on the team

Leah

Ms.Norbury

Because I think it’s funny

Like out of all of them Leah would be the one to be called a drug pusher

Like I personally think she smokes weed or eats like weed salads or something

And personally I think she’s above all of the drama of mean girls

Would gather everyone and be like WTF is wrong with y’all we are better than this.

Emily

Karen

Now don’t get me wrong Emily isn’t as dumb as Karen at all

BUT they both have this daydream-y airheadedness about them

And I don’t mean airhead as in stupid either, just more….in outer space than other people if you know what I mean

Like always in their own head

Don’t care about what others think to an extent

If you think about it she fits kinda

Somehow finds herself in the drama even though she’s just been daydreaming this entire time

Maru

Cady Herron

Listen I don’t think Maru would have the balls to do what Cady did

But they both are insanely smart and I can see Maru falling in love with any boy in her class that gives her attention

Would tell someone they aren’t as smart as they thought they were while drunk

She is in calculust yall

Penny

Gretchen Wieners

In the movie Gretchen is very insecure and just wants to be the best friend she can be even if it’s by helping Regina bully others

And at some point turns on Regina because she’s had enough

And is quiet enough to be overlooked as the pretty friend of the popular one

Meek and accepting like Gretchen is

Literally just wants to fit in

Abigail

Janis

I went between her and Leah for this but I think Abigail fits this role more

I think it’s more about style Janis always has a punk rock look about her and Abigail is emo/goth/punk

And while she isn’t autistic I think she is more likely to be called a pyro-Les than Leah is.

Abigail is just the right amount of unhinged to be Janis

Haley

Regina George

Come on this was the most obvious thing about this list

Like actually blonde, gives off bully vibes

Would take over a school and is probably rich.

Would be an absolute bitch and be mean to people then throw a fit when it turns around on her.

Tell me who “world burn” and “introducing the plastics” fits more. I’ll wait.

Unfortunately there aren’t enough characters so Seb and Sam don’t get anyone to themselves but I think both have the energy to fit both Aaron and Damian. Like both are total cuties that anyone would have a crush on even though seb is intimidating and introverted. And both I feel like would have the sass and bestie vibes of Damian so both could be both oof

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sdv headcanons #stardew headcanon #stardew valley headcanons #sdv shitpost #stardew shitpost #stardew valley shitpost #sdv sebastian #sdv Sam #sdv Shane #sdv Harvey #sdv Elliott #sdv Alex #sdv Haley #sdv Emily #sdv Leah #sdv Abigail #sdv Maru #sdv penny #stardew valley haley #stardew Emily #stardew valley harvey #stardew valley abigail #stardew valley alex #stardew sebastian #stardew valley sebastian #stardew abigail #stardew valley penny

[olderthannetfic]

ONTF, you're older than I am, you're highly media literate, maybe you'll know: what was the appeal of the Joss Whedon style of writing to begin with? Everyone whateverishly wording their phrasey bits in that very Whedon-y way never did anything for me, positive or negative, and the constant need to have comedy during serious moments or interrupt a serious moment with either snark or a remark that nods towards tropes diffuses the tension to the point where I can't get invested. None of his characters ever felt capable of having sincere moments like most characters in other things I watch, and the few moments of that they did have would get undermined by one of the aforementioned flaws.

I do think the "omg worst writer EVER!" crowd is a bit much, because I've seen things so bad that Whedon looks like Shakespeare by comparison. But my half-sister, who is 25 years older than me and thus in her late 40's, swears Joss' style is revolutionary and deep. And frankly I've been wrong about a lot of media I used to hate and I'm open to the idea I'm missing something. It's super likely given my limited media exposure, though I am admittedly trying to work on that and branch out into more genres of media and more formats so I don't become that 'guy who has only seen Boss Baby thinks every movie has Boss Baby vibes' meme.

So. What am I missing? What's the context I'm missing and the key here that will allow me to appreciate the appeal of and enduring fandom for Whedon's work? I am admittedly a fandom baby but I am willing to learn.

--

I mean... I despised him from the get go, other than the Buffy movie, which I still quote that death scene from regularly, so I'm probably not the best person to describe what's appealing about his style.

But one-liners during action are a common taste even if I'm fonder of the sorts of homoerotic 80s trash Ruthless Reviews used to cover.

Ironic distance is also popular and easier to swallow than earnestness for a lot of people.

However, I do think Buffy's original audience was connecting with it emotionally. Look at the part where Buffy's all upset after the most clownishly 1980s take on loss of virginity and heavyhanded metaphors for guys being jerks that just made every writer involved seem excessively middle-aged and out of touch Giles asks if she has any idea what could have happened to Angel. For people who weren't going to high school in 90s California, that bilge was apparently very moving. Certainly, there are parts of Buffy where the quips die down for some actual emotional moments.

People like style. Something that commits to being aggressively stylized will often stand out from the bland clones that surround it. Look at Wes Anderson (another creator I don't particularly like). Whedon's godawful faux-witty dialogue did sound different from other things on TV at the time. He also lets women say some of the one-liners, which is sorely missing from most media.

But mostly, he was formative for a lot of people, and I had to live through many, many years of them earnestly entreating me to give his shitty writing another chance because this time I would somehow connect with this sex-negative parasite and his casting aesthetic that I didn't find hot or interesting.

(I like dumb and campy things. I just like them to star a bunch of body builders from New Zealand, not waifs.)

People always hold up the things they imprinted on as more revolutionary and deep than they seem in retrospect. In Whedon's case, his already obnoxious style suffers from having been copied so much since, but even if he weren't famous or popular, if you were talking to that one person whose adolescence was defined by their love of him, they'd say all this same nonsense your sister does.