#also sidenote some of that shit did not age well
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when and how each of the nxx team first drank alcohol
written by somebody who hates the taste of basically all alcohol except soju mixes
wc: 1.2k
luke pearce and mc: teenage shenanigans
when theyre both 16 years old and luke is but a month away from moving out to study at Central University, luke sneakily buys like 2 six packs of beer. how did he buy that when hes a minor? well, everywhere on the planet has at least one convenience store that honestly couldnt give a fuck about whos buying what. cashier probably looked at luke pearce, a very nervous gangle of a teenager, and decided not to call him out lest he spontaneously combust
so hes got beer!!! and when mc's parents are out of town for a weekend, he suggests they drink for like, cool kid creds. or maybe so that both of them know what "type" of drunk they are in the safety of home with a trusted friend. or maybe mc finds the beers and is like "luuuuuke, whats---" and luke immediately bursts into apologies he just wanted to see if he could get some so that they could have a cool fun drinking night!!!
whatever the reason, mc agrees and thus they both get sloshed.
both of them discover that theyve got a pretty regular alcohol tolerance. the main issue is that mc IMMEDIATELY verbalizes that "wow this tastes like SHIT!" and luke whos still trying to play it cool says "not really!" when in fact he also thinks it tastes like SHIT.
still, they both truck on and equally finish the beer which normally wouldnt be enough to knock a person out unless theyve got a low tolerance, but mc and luke are teenagers who did not know about Pacing or Getting Some Snacks Into Ur System While Drinking So That The Alcohol Isn't Just Having A Party With Ur Stomach Acids. so the night ends with both of them hurling into the toilet
theyre clingy tho, they dont wanna leave each other, so they like, take turns in the same toilet.
really forges a friendship like no other
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vyn richter: well now he can't drink THAT exact flavor...
hes been tasting wine since 12 years old because that was the same age i hc he got into wine making because [vyn backstory/cn server spoiler] i assume thats some kind of requirement in royal lineage lessons??? i (jokingly) imagine vyn's childhood to be like the movie Princess Diaries but instead of being fun, it just Sucks Most Of The Time, but yes theres just a vague mixed bag of bougie lessons going on in his younger days like in princess diaries and one of em is winemaking
and also winetasting because thanks to new info i learned from my gf and also frantic googling; theres so much complexity and layers in wine flavors much akin to how perfumes and colognes have a core scent and then undertones.
(sidenote: vyn and marius talking about wine be like
vyn: this is a favorite of mine in particular; dry but with dessert wine undertones and just a hint of---
marius: it tastes like grapes
vyn: shut up, that is not what it---
marius: it tastes like some OLD ASS GRAPES
vyn: //stopping himself from bashing the wine bottle over marius' head.)
vyn, a lover of knowing stuff other people dont know, quite enjoys the study of winemaking and tasting even if he does find it disgusting that when hes gotta taste several wines in one go, he has to spit it out so he doesnt get drunk at the class (REAL THING THAT HAPPENS IN WINETASTING CLASSES, AMAZING). like, gross, he thinks! but he'd also not rather be a drunk tween stumbling thru the estate, he gets it.
the issue arises when his dad who is also rlly into wines tries to make a casket along with vyn as a bonding activity. vyn is NOT interested cuz wow, u decided to pay attention to me only now and only when it's something you also enjoy? he MUST roll his eyes. but still, against his wishes, vyn looks forward to it. they both try to recreate this one great vintage from years ago that they both like, they slap it into the casket to age, and theyll get back to it after like 10 years
and then they never do! cuz vyn leaves! and now in the present when ANY wine gets close to the flavor that that wine was trying to recreate, it always just leaves a bad taste in his mouth...
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marius von hagen: ok just a small taste----
i dont know why---maybe it's me projecting my questionable but hilarious family happenings onto the von hagens---but austin (dad von hagen) seems like the type to see marius, like 8yrs or something, curiously staring at the glass of whiskey on his desk and hes like "would you like a taste? it's quite strong though, i must warn you." and marius is like WELL IM STRONG TOO and takes a sip
and goes BLEH BLEGH BLEEEEEEGGGHGHGHGH
for many years, even when studying abroad in italy where theres SO MUCH WINE AROUND, whenever hes offered alcohol hes like
marius does get into moderate drinking (mostly for PAX business and like, social functions etiquette and whatnot) when he returns to stellis though, and as long as it isnt whiskey, hes fine with drinking whatever alcohol
just not whiskey. he has flashbacks of the sheer BLEGH
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artem wing: preps for the worst (and he is the worst)
he has his first drink when hes 21 years old. technically, drinking age in Stellis is 18 but artem was REALLY NERVOUS so he made sure to wait for the age where itd be legal anywhere in the world
and he makes it a whole Event of sorts, it's an Ordeal, it's a Serious Undertaking and please, neil, celestine, stop laughing, hes TRYIING TO EXPLAIN!!!
cuz he calls neil and celestine and tells them he needs their help on a certain day and this will all take place in his apartment and whatever happens cannot leave that premises or be told to anybody else.
neil and celestine are stupidly worried cuz he gives no further details until the day itself when artem finally explains whats actually going on
artem: in the future of my career, i can foresee that social functions involving alcohol may happen, so i need to be prepared for it but also ive never had alcohol before. if i get drunk to the point i can no longer remember things, promise you'll take note of my behavior please so i can study it later
neil: JESUS, KID, THATS IT??? I THOUGHT SOMEBODY WAS DYING. OR THAT U KILLED SOMEONE
celestine: I WAS READY TO GO GET A SHOVEL
artem: WHAT KIND OF PERSON DO YOU GUYS THINK I AM??
but yeah neil and celestine think hes overthinking this but then he starts drinking and theyre immediately glad he did call them cuz
one drink and hes gone
and they both have to wrangle him
and take notes bc they DID PROMISE
artem, sliding off of his narrow minimalist couch as he cry-rambles his insecurities: i feel like theres a small child in my mind thats also me and everyday he screams "unloveable! unloveable!"
celestine, taking a seat on the floor and giving artem a sidehug once he finally falls off of the sliver of a couch: there, there, buddy, youre plenty loveable
celestine: //whispering to neil? how many drinks did he have?
neil, in a tone that betrays how weirdly impressed he is: One.
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[Nat and y/n are sitting in their room]
* y/n is playing Fire Emblem: Conquest (the superior path DEBATE YOUR MOTHER, I had no aspiration to play Birthright more than once, and no, Revelations doesn’t count because of course it doesn’t) *
y/n, going through new support conversations: *looking at Nat* I’m so glad you’re here
Nat, confused but happy: to watch you play? Sure, it’s interesting enough, and your battle strategies actually make sense
y/n: thank you thank you. Now I can get a second opinion on who to get married to, I have a too many options right now
Nat, leaning over y/n’s shoulder: alright, well who do you have for S-tier
y/n: as of right now? I’ve got Camilla, hot older sister, but actually not related, kinda milfy vibes, side note: by default, if I don’t do it here, I will definitely be doing it on a different save file. I don’t make the rules
Nat, nodding: decent, I appreciate your honesty. Go on
y/n: let’s see, Felicia, sweet and clumsy maid, I beefed up her stats so she’s blessed up right now.
Nat: She’s cute, who else?
y/n: there’s Azura, beautiful songstress, but she’s weak as hell in my roster right now. She will legit die if I put her on the field, two hits max. But she’s cute y’know? Also the MC’s cousin in cannon-
Nat, squinting and disturbed: and she’s a marriage option?
y/n: I don’t know either, I was of a very different mindset before I knew this information. But moving right along
Nat: right right…..Pass. Next
y/n: here we have Effie, general badass, a whole tank on the battlefield, trains a whole lot, highkey reminds me of you, honestly. Maybe a bit less emotive, but I want the best for her
Nat, blushing: she seems cute, and the fact that she reminds you of me is a plus. Who else?
y/n: well, we have Nyx-
Nat, confused: is that a child y/n?
y/n: *sighs* now hear me out, this is a gray area
Nat: meaning?
y/n: this is a grown woman, who drank from the fountain of youth or cast a age spell or some shit and it went wrong I don’t remember the specifics, but basically she’s stuck looking like a child but they constantly remind you that she's actually a grown woman past her appearance. I assume she's older than Camilla, who’s like- in her mid to late twenties in my mind
Nat, processing: that is a gray area. Next?
y/n, scrolling through the roster: Charlotte, irrelevant, Perri, one more support convo to get to A-tier but alas, irrelevant, Selena, irrelevant, Beruka, irrelevant, Elise- we don’t talk about that option
Nat: why not?
y/n: I can only see her as a sibling, and this option makes me uncomfy
Nat: *points to Camilla and Azura with a raised brow*
y/n: Camilla’s been unabashedly trying to get in my pants the whole game, and I feel like she’s hyper aware of the fact that no one in the Nohrian royal family is related. I don’t even know if Azura knows we’re cousins, since she sure doesn’t make that relation obvious. It also takes place in yee olden times Nat this is not the time period or the game to be morally righteous. Plus, Elise acts like a child
Nat: *points to Nyx in confusion*
y/n, stressed: Nat, we went over this- how about felicia?
Nat: meh, she’s alright
y/n: you know what? Fine, Effie it is
*y/n chooses to marry Effie and achieves the S-Tier bond*
Natasha: *hugging y/n from behind*
...
*later that night y/n did indeed start a new save file to pursue Camilla*
sidenote: I looked it up and Nyx is supposed to be in her forties-
#fire emblem#fire emblem fates#fire emblem conquest#marvel#marvel incorrect quotes#black widow#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#jc inked quotes#ink.nat#ib-jc.
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hi!!! I was reading some of your soulmate au’s and wanted to request one where it’s seeing writing on your skin from your soulmate, except the soulmate doesn’t speak/understand Japanese so there’s a language barrier. thought it might add a fun little twist! 😅 my fave characters from your list are hawks, tamaki, and todoroki so any of those would work I think 👀💛 ty in advance!
A/N: HI I LOVE THIS❤💕💞💟❣💖!!! Learning foreign languages is like,, my thing (I've been learning German since age 5, French for about 2 years, and have been learning Japanese for a bit too and am planning to learn Dutch and Russian at some point) so I love language shenanigans!!! Thank you for requesting! And for giving me a reason to write another soulmate au. I also never mentioned where the reader is from or what their native language is so it would be kept ambiguous!!!
Third Time’s the Charm!
Also sidenote but I've read the bnha manga and Hawks panels are god tier, seeing some of them animated in s5 is just *chef's kiss*
Synopsis: When you turn sixteen you gain the ability to communicate with your soulmate through writing on your skin. Unfortunately for you, your soulmate doesn't speak your native language, and instead only speaks Japanese. Also unfortunately, neither of you are very good artists. Even more unfortunately, you’re both idiots.
Pairing: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x reader
Request: yes!!!
Word count: 1.5k
Warnings: A tiny bit of cursing
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Ever since you were a kid you daydreamed about your soulmate constantly, hearing the stories from your parents and all the other adults in your life about how they met and fell in love with theirs.
You found yourself lost in the possibilities, especially as you got older, a hopeless romantic by the very definition. You'd heard stories of childhood friends turned soulmates or teenagers who were already deeply in love before finding out they were destined to be at the age of sixteen. The classic enemies to lovers type story, finding out the person they constantly fight with was their soulmate after recognizing their own handwriting on their skin.
You often wondered what your love story would be, and somehow you never considered anything like this.
Keigo didn't really have time to think about soulmates growing up, he was too busy training to become a hero, that was always his goal. But it would be a lie to say that he absolutely never did, in fact, his future soulmate always held a place in the back of his mind.
He didn't see as many soulmate pairs together, or hear as many soulmate stories, but he still had great hope for the day he could contact his own soulmate. He was happy to have something to look forward to, something to occupy his mind that wasn't just hero work this and hero work that.
Don't get him wrong, he was excited to become a hero and save lives and catch villains, but he didn't want his career to consume his entire life as it had so far. Even as a teenager, he strived for a world where heroes had a lot of time off.
So one could imagine the disappointment when the both of you ended up turning sixteen and finally writing each other, only to find out that you couldn't even communicate. The languages you spoke didn't even use the same alphabet!
And even worse, you both tried drawing pictures and it backfired terribly, neither of you could draw for shit. It was embarrassing, really.
You were able to make out a pair of wings and a chicken leg?? What an odd combination...
You were suddenly motivated to learn Japanese, however with your tight schedule in your first year of hero school you couldn't find the time.
Keigo wanted to learn your language as well, but with all of his training he wasn’t able to either.
By the time you graduated you two had been aimlessly scribbling for each other for almost two years. Sometimes one of you would make a bad abstract drawing and the other would color it in, sometimes your bad art was a collaborative piece by the two of you, and sometimes you both actually tried to draw things and failed miserably.
At least you and your soulmate shared bad art solidarity.
Now, Japan has one of the best, if not the best pro hero industry in the world, and has a lot of crime to be taken care of. Completely unrelated to your soulmate situation of course, you decided you would broaden your horizons and see what the hero scene there is like to be a part of.
You had to learn basic Japanese in a hurry, meaning you didn't bother with learning how to read and write, figuring you’d do so later, and learned what you needed to get by in Romaji, this was great for learning quickly and being able to communicate with the people you'd be working with and around. This was, however, not great for communicating with your soulmate.
Unfortunately, even after half a year in Japan, you still hadn’t found the time to learn to write Japanese. You were pretty good at speaking and understanding, having been surrounded by it for a while, and you think you had somehow managed to finally alert your soulmate to your presence in their country.
By managed to alert your soulmate to your presence in their country you mean you asked your friend to write “I’m in Japan but I still don’t speak the language” on your arm after not even contemplating the idea for 6 months. You never claimed to be smart, if either you or your soulmate were smart, you would have used google translate by now.
The funny thing is, you and your soulmate already knew each other and had absolutely no clue. You had worked with pro hero Hawks quite a bit, and you really enjoyed working with him. The two of you got along really well, and there was only one person who truly knew why.
You had ended up getting close to Rumi Usagiyama, or Miruko, during your stay in Japan thus far, and she happened to be the friend that you asked to write to your soulmate. She had heard Hawks rant about his foreign soulmate and how cute their drawings were all the time, and knew that when you showed up with the same native language and inability to write Japanese he would be too stupid to make the connection. She had suspected there was a possibility for a while, but the writing on the arm confirmed it.
She decided not to get too involved, honestly thinking you two fools were hilarious. But she did want to push it in the right direction. She didn’t account for how oblivious both of you are.
Her first attempt at bringing you two together was casually mentioning that you both had foreign soulmates who you couldn’t communicate with, staging it as just a little something you had in common and hoping you’d put two and two together.
You didn’t put two and two together.
You even had a super long conversation about the struggles that come along with not being able to talk to your soulmate. You even established that your respective soulmates were from each other’s home countries. You even talked about the one time you wrote to them. You even mentioned that that one time was yesterday.
And still neither of you realized.
One of the topics that came up in your conversation, which Rumi third wheeled, was both of your your terrible art skills, and this sparked her next brilliant idea:
Pictionary!
You both talked about your soulmates’ terrible art skills so many times that you had to recognize that it was each other’s terrible art skills.
She brought it up when the three of you were dining out, thinking it would be a fun little game to see who could guess what someone was drawing first while you were waiting for food. Well, she thought it would be fun for you two to discover you were soulmates while waiting for food.
As soon as the idea was proposed there were numerous complaints about poor art skills, and seeing as this was a topic of discussion yesterday, Rumi figured this was going better than she thought it would. She figured that this would help you two absolute clowns realize the obvious.
She figured wrong.
Of course neither of you got it from that, maybe you'll recognize each other's bad art? Is that thinking too wishful?
Yes, yes it is.
You even commented on how similar his drawing was to your soulmate's. You commented on it. And still neither of you understood. It flew right over your oblivious, idiotic heads.
Maybe he'll realize when it's your turn?
...
...
No, of course he didn't, what were you expecting?
Rumi's plan failed once again and though it had only been a few days she was at the end of the line. Why concoct genius plans if neither of you had the IQ to understand? She wasn't going to do something like lock you in a closet or handcuff you together until you notice either, she knew you'd never figure it out.
So, she decided the best course of action was to make it extremely clear. With absolutely no doubt, and no way either you nor Hawks could misunderstand the situation. And this was to be carried out with a trusty black sharpie, because she'll be damned if anything could possibly go so wrong that it gets wiped off before she can make her point.
It happened exactly three days after she found out you and Keigo were soulmates, which is ridiculous to think about because the first people to know you were soulmates should have been you, but alas.
Rumi grabbed both of you, brought you to the same place, announced that she was to perform a magic trick, pulled out her sharpie, and drew a scribble on your hand.
She then held it up, making sure to completely show off exactly what it looked like to both you and Keigo.
"And for my next trick I will prove that your dumb asses are soulmates."
You and Keigo's eyes went so wide as Rumi held up his hand with the same scribble as yours. There was no way you didn't notice this time. Absolutely no way. None.
Especially when both of you had this look of realization on your face, like your eyes were finally open to something that they never were before. Because they were.
"WAIT THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW."
Soulmates who clown together, stay together.
Tags: @luluwiie @fandomsgotmefucked @bakukags @iwantsleep-7 @cicadawithacamera @dabi-sunflower @marvel-love-posts
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#bnha x reader#mha x reader#hawks x reader#hawks x gn!reader#bnha x y/n#bnha x reader soulmate au#bnha x you#mha x y/n#mha x reader soulmate au#mha x you#hawks x you#hawks x y/n#hawks x reader soulmate au#keigo takami x reader#keigo takami x you#keigo takami x y/n#elles.requests#elles.fics
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Michael in the Syndicate headcanons!
He comes along to meetings whenever they’re on. At first he would stick very close to Ranboo and would only really sit with him, but over time he started to explore and sit with the others. Despite grumbling about it at first, Phil eventually got used to having Michael sit with him.
Techno at first was very indifferent about Michael. The initial reveal that Ranboo was married and had a son created more of a “Phil where did I go wrong?!” reaction from Techno but after that he basically ignored the kid. The more Michael attended meetings though, the more Techno warmed up to the adorable little zombie piglin and eventually he started playing with him during breaks, giving him little gifts of weapons and armour (which Ranboo promptly took away) and he would even tell Michael stories about anarchy and how amazing it is. He becomes sort of a role model to Michael as time goes on.
On top of this, Techno teaches Michael how to speak piglin. Michael already knew the basics from his time in the nether but it was mostly baby-talk and very basic words. Thanks to Techno though, he’s able to learn piglin fluently and the two end up communicating in it often. Techno also gives Michael gold nuggets, gold swords, gold armour, basically anything gold because it reminds Michael of the nether and makes him happy.
Niki is very wary of Michael for the longest time but even she cannot help but eventually crack and admit he’s cute. Learning that he eats cakes, she starts baking again and brings snacks to the meetings (which sidenote everyone loves because their girl is a baking goddess). For the first time in ages, she’s having fun while baking and it becomes a stress relief for her outside of just giving Michael snacks. She also makes him some new clothes to help with the cold because he isn’t very used to it and he refuses to take them off even after going home to Snowchester.
Phil becomes a kind of uncle-figure to little Michael. The guy pretends not to care about him at first, calling him “lil shit” every time he waddles over or insists on sitting with him. It’s very clear however that this Phil showing love in his own way, as seen when he bounces Michael on his leg to make him laugh, crouches down to play-fight with him, and knows when the slightly more violent antics are going to far and hands him back to Ranboo. Phil can’t actually parent Michael like Ranboo does and takes a more ‘experience-based’ approach to teaching life lessons (ie throw him to the sharks and see what happens) but there’s no doubt he has a soft spot in his heart for the “lil shit” that he lets sit with him during meetings.
Oh god Ranboo is a helicopter parent. Michael is absolutely not allowed to come on missions (no Phil it does not “build character”!) and he is constantly monitoring how many snacks his son eats, what gifts Techno is giving him, if he’s tired, hungry, what have you. Luckily, the others are there to tone down the overprotective side of things and over time Ranboo becomes comfortable letting Michael pick up a toy sword and “duel” Phil, explore around not only the syndicate but Techno’s house, do baking with Niki and even go out to play in the snow (which admittedly Michael doesn’t really like because it’s cold but it’s still fascinating to the little guy).
Techno is still very suspicious of Tubbo so Tubbo isn’t allowed into the syndicate yet. As a result, Michael still technically lives in Snowchester. However, Ranboo starts to drop him off at Techno’s house every now and again if him and Tubbo have plans. The first time this happened Techno just did his signature “HA?” while holding little Michael and Phil laughed his ass off in the background. By the time Ranboo came to pick Michael up though, he found his son and Techno sleeping in front of the fire, Phil quietly picking Michael out of Techno’s arms and handing him back over.
It’s a gradual process, but the syndicate slowly become a sort of ‘Michael Protection Squad’. Techno tries to hide it but will actively fight any mob that comes near Michael. Phil is less ‘gotta protect’ and more ‘gotta make sure Ranboo doesn’t have a panic attack’ — he’s also very aware of Michael’s boundaries and will get Michael out of situations that make the baby uncomfortable. Niki goes rage-mode if she hears about something bad happening to Michael, bonus points if it’s another person (especially a person she hates). And, well, Ranboo would start a full ass villain arc for Michael so we know how much he protects his son.
This is a further in the future headcanon (basically a fanfic at this point), but Techno eventually starts to give Michael fighting lessons (under intense supervision from Ranboo, of course) and Michael learns the way of The Blade. Techno gifts him his old Netherite armour a piece at a time, one for every new milestone the boy hits. The final rite of passage is defeating his first wither, which is set up by Phil and Techno and Ranboo isn’t allowed to help with.
(Am I aware that most likely Michael will die soon? Yes. Am I aware that Techno is probably gonna react very badly to the whole marriage and child thing? Yes. Am I ignoring it to have a wholesome found family out in the snowy tundra that just wants anarchy, snacks and the best for the baby? Yes.)
#dream smp#dream smp headcannon#dream smp tubbo#dream smp ranboo#dream smp techno#dream smp philza#dream smp nihachu#tubbo#ranboo#technoblade#philza#niki nihachu#nihachu#dream smp syndicate#anarchy syndicate#dream smp michael#mcyt#syndicate headcanon#this is basically a fanfic in bullet notes#feel free to add more
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OC Profile
Tagged by the ever-lovely @ghostxofxartemis. Thank you!!!
Tagging: @dr-ladybird, @swaps55, @rpgwrites, @pushingsian, @dafan7711, @awhellstothejoe, @pip-n-flinx, and anyone else who would like to share.
I haven’t done any Nathaly shit in a loooong time so let’s go!
My favorite art of her ever, by the insanely talented @kauriart. Seriously I still stare at this thing an embarrassing amount of time.
I’ve responded to all of these prompts as of her current statuses in Labyrinth (my ME2 novelization).
General-
Name: Nathaly Zelena Shepard
Alias(es): Zey-Zey by her dad’s family, Nath by people who refuse to acknowledge her hatred of nicknames, Bo by her N7 peers, Nathabee by her ex-fiance Todd (and I can feel the murder rising in her disclosing that to you all)
Gender: Female
Age: 31, currently
Birthdate: April 11, 2154
Place of birth: An Alliance Kodiak en-route to Arcturus Station. Her mother was reportedly Very Surprised. The unfortunate private caught on the same transport was reportedly in therapy for years.
Hometown: None, but Phoenix back in UNAS on Earth, or Hellas Naval Base on Mars, probably come closest
Spoken language(s): English, Spanish, and Prothean (thanks Cipher) natively; Dherak, Hessarin, and Vinassi fluently; can get by or communicate a bit in a bunch more. She did well enough in her basic language primer while training in spec ops to get recommended for additional training at ALI, and she kept taking lessons remotely up until her death, more-or-less for fun. As she puts it, languages are “her sole academic talent”.
Sexual preference: Bisexual
Occupation: Currently mercenary. She hates it.
Appearance-
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Red
Height: 6’4”
Scars: Cybernetic and surgical scars from her resurrection. The damage to her body mostly obliterated earlier scarring.
Favorite-
Color: Changes by the week
Hair color: She likes her natural color well enough, but as a teenager dyed it all kinds of unnatural shades
Song: [I haven’t developed nearly enough headcanon around music in ME to begin to answer this]
Food: Tamales, the way her abuela made them
Drink: Scotch, cold with ice. No, she doesn’t care how it’s supposed to be served.
Have They-
Passed university: She has a degree in philosophy from New Stellar University, an online school, which she earned during her first few years serving as a marine
Had sex: yes
Had sex in public: …yes, technically, though she believes/hopes nobody saw them. Not her finest moment.
Gotten pregnant: yes
Kissed a boy: yes
Kissed a girl: yes
Gotten tattoos: yes (sadly, also lost, though strangely not thanks to her death)
Gotten piercings: yes, though currently only her ears are pierced, the others closed up
Been in love: yes, more than once
Stayed up for more than 24 hours: yes
Are They-
A virgin: no
A cuddler: Not really. Sometimes when she really needs it, but she’d never admit it
A kisser: Absolutely
Scared easily: lol no
Jealous easily: Not… really
Dominant: no
Submissive: no [sidenote: that one fic is a very particular dynamic in a specific context, and I wouldn’t overall characterize her as a sub]
In love: yes
Single: Hell if she knows
Random Questions (tw for self harm/suicide mention)-
Have they harmed themselves: Not intentionally
Thought of suicide: No
Attempted suicide: No. She’s occasionally wondered if there’s something wrong with her that she hasn’t ever considered it, given some of the shit she’s been through. (What can I say, her issues run deep but occasionally have stranger manifestations.)
Wanted to kill someone: The better question is how many times she’s wanted to kill someone and acted on it. The answer is not zero.
Have / had a job: She flipped “burgers” at a fast food joint at the Hellas Spaceport as a teenager (Phytoburger, “Home of the best beef that’s never lived!”). She then enlisted as an Alliance marine at age eighteen, and served until her death at age twenty-nine. Right now, she will firmly insist she’s not employed rather than make any claim of working for Cerberus.
Have any fears: Lots, most unadmitted to herself. But a big one is a fear of leaving people behind
Family
Sibling(s): None
Parent(s): Hannah and Paul Shepard. Hannah still serves in the Alliance, while Paul was medically discharged after an accident when Nathaly was fifteen, and currently lives on Mars
Children: That’s a fascinating question! And oddly not especially related to the one about pregnancy further up.
Significant other: Kaidan(?) Shit’s complicated
Pet(s): Several fish, her favorite of which is a VERY grumpy walking catfish
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ok i agree w/ everything you said about those ladies besides, lwaxana gives s*xual pr*dator vibes and that is why i dont like her.
I can see that reading for sure and all things are subjective. I do strongly disagree, but hey, fandom is a space for that! Super chill.
to go a little more into this though, since it's not really so much about what any of us feel, but more about how we engage with female characters (and I'll use your example of why you don't like her - not to drag you, your dislike is totally fair, she's fictional, she won't mind, but just because it's a single line that kinda puts her in a box. And not a very nice box to be in, that's for sure...)
a little tw for mild references to some of the shadier writings of star trek vis a vis sexual assault and otherwise sexist and/or strange relationship dynamics
okay so you know how Riker has like. two? episodes that're suuuper shady in terms of his treatment of women and the rest of the time it's pretty chill. and he's one of my favourite characters, but I have gotta skip those episodes, because whatever they were trying to do, they Did Not Succeed - and there's a reading of him that incorporates those elements and if you do you've gotta contend with the character being quite probably someone who's assaulted women.
or how Worf at times espouses sexist shit that makes me roll my eyes outta my head and you're either gonna say "I don't fucking like this character" (and again, totally fair, I've seen people who don't Vibe) or you've gotta find a way to make this work for you if you want to explore that character - or both of those things, you can dislike a character and want to write about them
Or some of the weird shit the writers have Geordi do (which, Geordi is my favourite character in TNG, but sometimes ya gotta breathe and go "the writers are fucking dumb, the writers are fucking dumb")
or - the spiritual successor of Geordi, Julian Bashir (my favourite character from DS9 - clearly I have a Type). You've gotta go: This is stupid writing. I can make it work with my own read of the character, but first and foremost The Writing Is Dumb!
Or hell, Q - since we're talking about Lwaxana and I assume her interactions with Picard and Odo, let's not forget to mention Q, both in TNG and on VOY with Janeway - some of the more urgh-inducing scenes between Q and Janeway are, I think, meant to be charming and funny? And I'm a massive QCard shipper here, okay, I actually vibe so hard with him as an alien who doesn't get shit about boundaries (this mostly with Picard, with Janeway I have gone: "Hm. This doesn't feel good" a fair few times).
or how the writers of DS9 had Garak be in a very uncomfortable relationship with Ziyal, who was a teenager, then not a teenager within much too short a span of episodes (and actress changes)
or Quark. Remember the episode in which Quark tries to get Kira's likeness so he can put it in a sex-fantasy roleplay that she did not consent to? or how there are two cold opens where his female employees are told they have to sleep with him to keep their jobs
or like... Neelix (okay, I am not a fan of Neelix anyway, but for people who are fans, there are times when you've gotta wonder what in the heck the writers are thinking - not the character, the writers)
what I'm trying to say with the post I wrote is that this same graciousness isn't offered to female characters - especially female characters of colour, but in the case of Lwaxana
she's older, she's an ongoing female guest star, she's very (sometimes uncomfortably) sexual towards especially Picard and for a short while Odo, before they become really good friends.
she's also in-text several times in positions in which men are trying to control her (the episode where she gets kidnapped, the episode in which the guy who's married her is a misogynist) and she uses or tries to use her "wiles" to escape these situations.
She's really more of a faded beauty who's putting a pressure onto her daughter (in a rare interesting, complex, fraught mother-daughter dynamic that I loooove) and refuses to let go of the past, because (and here we get into my read, but mildly supported by canon) it's the only way she seems to have learned how to be loved and have relevance. She's terrified of letting that go, because where does she go next, without everything that's defined her? which is why her final episode with Odo is actually so powerful to me.
Picard is never threatened by her in-text. He's not massively fond of her (at first, she grows on him... like a mold), he would prefer to avoid her, but he's not in a powerless situation here. She undoubtedly makes him uncomfortable at times in a way that - like some of the above examples have made me go "mmmmokay" but certainly not the worst example of this in the writing.
With Odo I also don't like how some of her interactions with him go in the first episode they're in together. But once they're friends and you see how easily she accepts him ("I can swim" is always going to be one of my favourite little chuckle lines) that no longer applies. He clearly likes her and enjoys her company. There's something incredibly lifelong platonic partners in their easiness with each other.
You can argue in both cases (and argue well) that there are scenes that are kinda sus. But there are lots of scenes that offer you depth of character. She's not one-note. She's got off moments.
Some of these guys (and others - I haven't watched as much TOS and Voyager so I don't want to misrepresent anyone, but I feel sure that Tom Paris has made me squint once or twice + I've not seen Enterprise yet) have whole episodes that make me shudder.
It's really - within this fandom for sure - open how we interpret characters and I'm not saying anyone needs to read Lwaxana like this or change their minds and like her.
The point of the post is not to say you have to like any of these characters. Or even to say you have to engage with them regardless of how you vibe or don't vibe with them. It's just... I have listened to several up-until-then-enjoyable deeply analytical podcasts where at some point one of the (guys... always guys... I'm guessing white) makes a sneering comment completely dismissing their value within the series.
My point is that Lwaxana (since we're on her) has value as a character within the Trek universe. She added something important. She's not everyone's cup of tea, but it's a big series, we're not all guaranteed to like everyone.
and in the original post I used "shrill" and "cringy" on purpose, because those are descriptors I've heard. And they are absolutely rooted in misogynist dismissals of female characters no matter what shape they take (Keiko, Lwaxana, Michael, and Ezri are radically different from each other and yet all easily brushed aside regardless of screentime, personality, show, age, role/job).
I'm not making points about having to engage with or like characters. I'm just saying we need to be aware of how easily we specifically look down our noses at female characters (and specifically female characters of colour - apologies, this was just because we were talking about Lwaxana, but some of the shit I've heard about especially Michael and Keiko have made me want to bang my head against a wall... or other peoples heads against walls... you know, for a nice change)
so how much sympathy or analysis of behaviour is afforded to female characters vs their male peers. What judgements are we making and how do they compare to our readings of their male counterparts?
sidenote: I hate using male and female about star trek, my brain is just like "why anyone gender? why do this? you're in space? there are aliens? y'all can't chill with the binary for two fucking seconds?"
different post
#lwaxana troi#tng#ds9#voy#st: tng#st: ds9#st: voy#star trek disc horse#I don't want to make statements on TOS or Disco guys - I HAVE seen them I just don't rememberrrr too much#i have entirely avoided any and all opinions by white cis dudes on adira and gray btw because I have F E A R#they're not female characters tho but like... tangentially I'm thinking hooboy about them as well#anon just wanna reiterate I'm not telling you to change your opinion or feelings about her
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So I’ve been thinking about the end of empires lately, the way they behave, the patterns that emerge, things like that. Yes, I know. What a lovely topic. Lol. My brain likes punishment. Shhh. Anyway, I was wondering what we have learned from past ended empires that could help us understand today’s world? Do you have thoughts? Any book refs on this? Thanks qqueen!
Aha, okay, I'll give this a crack. I'll try not to get bogged down in too much pedagogical woolgathering about how it is defined, determined, decided, or otherwise applied as an analytical concept, but we'll say that an "empire" is a geographical, political and territorial unit that comprises multiple countries/regions, is united under one relatively centralised administration, ruled either by one all-powerful figure or a small circle of powerful elites (usually technically answerable to the former), and held together by military, financial, and ideological methods. The basic model, as established by the Romans: take their sons to serve in the army, make them pay their taxes to you, and worship Roma, the patron goddess of the city, alongside their own preferred religion. Simple, straightforward, and lasted for five hundred years (almost a thousand if you count the Roman Republic which preceded it). We hear a lot in Western history classes about the "Fall of Rome," which is usually presented in popular narratives as the moment when everything went to pot before the "Dark Ages." Is this true? (No.) If so, did it happen because, as is often claimed, "barbarians/savages were attacking Rome and overthrew it?" (No.)
The collapse of the Western Roman Empire is way more than we can get into in the course of one ask, and there are other fallen empires to consider: for example, the Aztec, Ashanti, Russian, and British ones. It's a subject of debate as to whether modern-day America should be termed an empire: it fits most, if not all, of the historical criteria, but is an empire only an empire when it declares itself to be one? The long and sordid history of American imperialism, whether it's a rose by any other name or otherwise, is covered in American Empire: A Global History by A.G. Hopkins, How to Hide an Empire: A History of the Greater United States by Daniel Immerwahr, and A People's History of American Empire by Howard Zinn. All are worth looking into.
Overall, I think the basic similarities for what makes an empire fall would include:
it geographically overextends itself (Roman, British)
it is attacked by foreign rivals and internal enemies (Roman, Aztec, Ashanti)
it becomes massively financially indebted and deeply politically unstable (Roman, Russian)
it resorts to heavy-handed attempts to punish dissatisfaction among its people, spurring popular resistance (Aztec, Roman, British, Russian)
it is emerging from a period of long war internationally and internally that has strained it militarily (Roman, British, Russian)
it simply gets devastatingly unlucky thanks to a combination of unforeseeable external factors (Aztec, Ashanti)
And so on. Basically, the administrative bureaucracy gets too big to manage itself, the ever-increasing financial exactions can't pay for the necessary wars to maintain and expand its borders, people become dissatisfied both outside and inside the imperial system, and since no human institution or nation-state lasts forever, down it comes. However, I would caution against too much insistence on a total or categorical end of any of these societies. You've probably heard of Jared Diamond, who wrote uber-popular bestsellers including Guns, Germs, and Steel and Collapse, focusing on how human societies survive, or not, from an eco-scientific perspective. However, Diamond is not a trained anthropologist, archaeologist, or historian, despite writing extensively about these subjects (he's a professor of geography at UCLA) and a whole bunch of eminent historians and anthropologists got together to write "You're Full of Shit, Jared Diamond," also known as Questioning Collapse: Human Resilience, Ecological Vulnerability, and the Aftermath of Empire.
This book basically blasts Diamond (as he deserves, frankly) for removing all social/cultural factors from his analysis in Collapse and only focusing on ecology/science/environment. Geographical determinism can shed light on some things, but it's very far from being a total explanation for everything, completely divorced from the human societies that interact with these places. For example, did the Easter Island society of Rapa Nui collapse because the Polynesian people "recklessly" overexploited the environment (Diamond) or the impact of European diseases, colonialism, slave trade, and other direct crises, combined with the introduction of the non-native rat to the islands? (Spoiler alert: The latter. You simply can't write about these societies as if they're just places where things somehow happened thanks to natural processes, entirely outside of human agency and cultural/social/political needs.)
Anyway, the silver-lining upside, especially in an incredibly gloomy political milieu where the current American system was nearly overthrown by the last president and hordes of his fascist sympathisers (as they were talking about on Capitol Hill today, incidentally), is that the usual story of human societies is resilience rather than disappearance. None of the empires listed above, with the exception of the Aztecs (conquered by the Spanish, decimated by smallpox, and resisted by internal indigenous enemies) totally vanished. Their structures and ethos often just got a change of paint and name and carried on. For all the ballyhoo about the "Collapse of Rome," the Western Roman Empire had been an almost entirely ineffective political entity for years and the capital had already been transferred to Ravenna well before 476. There were outsider attacks, but Rome had weakened itself by a constant succession of military coups, palace intrigue, too-heavy taxes, and a simply too-vast area to effectively control. The Eastern Roman Empire, however (aka the Byzantine Empire) carried on being a major political player straight through the medieval period and only ended in 1453, with the Ottoman sultan Mehmed II's conquest of Constantinople.
Even the Ashanti Empire still exists today, as a small independent kingdom within the modern African country of Ghana. The Russian and British empires no longer exist under that name, but few would deny that those countries still retain considerable influence in similar ways. When people talk about the "collapse" of societies, especially non-Western societies, it also produces the impression that they did in fact just disappear into thin air, often as no fault of the invading Westerners. (Sidenote: I suggest reading "Settler Colonialism and the Elimination of the Native" by Patrick Wolfe in the Journal of Genocide Research. The whole thing is online and free.) How many times have we heard that, say, the Mayans/Mayan Empire "vanished," when there are up to seven million Mayan speakers in modern Mexico? If you're insisting that they're gone, of course it's easier to act like they are.
Anyway. I think what I'm trying to say here is that in terms of lessons for the modern world:
empires always (always) fall;
this comes about as some combination of the above-mentioned factors;
however, the societies previously organised as empires almost never disappear, so the end of an empire does not necessarily mean the end of its attendant society, culture, countries, etc;
empires often re-organise as essentially similar political units with different names and can maintain most of their former status;
empire is an inherently unequal and exploitative system that often relies on taxonomies of race, gender, power, and class, with the usual suspects at the top and everyone else at the bottom;
empire is usually, though not always, related to active colonialism and military expansion, and as soon as it cannot sustain this model, it's in big trouble;
the idea that human societies just disappear solely as a result of inadequately correct economic choices and/or ecological determinism is a lot of shit;
And so on. The end of an empire isn't necessarily anything to fear, though it can, obviously, be incredibly disruptive for those living within the country/countries affected. And until we learn how to move, as a species, permanently away from political and ideological systems that give so many resources to so few people and nothing to so many others, we're going to continue to experience this cycle.
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Kirkwall is Weird
Kirkwall is a weird city. It is known that the Veil is so exceptionally thin in the area that demons can enter the mortal world freely underground. Blood magic, lunacy, abominations, and violence all run rampant. Twice the amount of mages are unable to complete their Harrowing than in Starkhaven, a city comparable in size. The streets are a maze, confusing to even the most skilled masons.
Why is this? There are a few hypotheses, but I believe it is because Kirkwall is where the Magisters of the Tevinter Imperium broke into the Fade.
(For a quick read, look at the bold text)
Let’s begin with its history: According to The Band of Three, a Chantry taskforce dedicated to uncovering Kirkwall’s secrets, the native people of the city are unknown, but the Imperium’s army arrived with force for an unexplained reason. It was founded in -620 Ancient and named Emerius after the Magister who founded it. The location ended up becoming advantageous due to the proximity of quarries that produced valuable metals. After a slave revolt in Minrathous, Emerius was chosen to be the Imperium’s hub for slave trading with a population of over one million slaves at its height. This staggering number is made even more horrifying when we recognize that hundreds to thousands of slaves went missing every year, their blood used for sacrifice.
The mages of the Imperium created sewers underneath the city so they could run experiments and research underground; hidden away from the eyes of the average citizen. This is notable, since they had no reason to keep arcane research secret. Such tunnels are home to troves of artifacts, scrolls, and relics thought lost that show up in Darktown after the chambers get ransacked.
These sewers served a dual purpose however. The tunnels created across the city were made with grooves carved into the stone, encouraging streams of blood to reach the bottom. This blood was used for their blood magic, as the streets were built in the formation of glyphs and used to power the spells. There is no mention of where this blood ends up, only that they descend far into the earth.
The Band of Three come to an incredible conclusion:
“We've discovered the magisters were deliberately thinning [the Veil] even further. Beneath the city, demons can contact even normal men. Did they seek the Black City to compound the madness of their previous efforts? Or was it something else?” -Codex Entry: The Enigma of Kirkwall
The Magisters were deliberately trying to thin the Veil. The Band of Three pose that this project occurred after they walked into the Fade, but there’s no exact dates.
So when exactly were the Magisters thinning the Veil? What we do know, is that Emerius was founded in -620 Ancient and the Tevinters started losing their grip on the city in -203 Ancient, but fully lost control of it after the First Blight in -25 Ancient. That is a significant amount of time.
We can narrow it further though. Looking more broadly at Tevinter history reveals more. The First Blight started in -395 Ancient, and reached the surface in -380 Ancient. This was the start of the decline in the Imperium. Due to the chaos of the time, I doubt much research was able to be done. So the idea that it happened after the breach of the Golden City seems unlikely. We also see a massive civil war in the Imperium that occurs from -575 to -555 Ancient, and this is the catalyst for many mages to turn to darker magics and demon summoning became commonplace. I see this Veil thinning project as happening after the war due to the nature of this magic.
The timeline for this project has thus been restricted to -555 Ancient to -380 Ancient. It is here that we have a massive gap with no information between. But -395 Ancient, when the High Priests are said to have walked into the Fade is within the proposed timeline.
So in summary, there were mages working towards some secret purpose beneath the city. We know that the High Priests used pseudonyms to hide their identities, even from each other. This city happened to be specifically engineered for blood sacrifice and had access to quarries and Deep Roads entrances. We also know that sundering the Veil required the blood of hundreds of slaves and most of the lyrium in the Empire. And the Second Sin occurs at the tail end of Tevinter rule of the city, allowing around 150 years of research before it occurs.
But where specifically in the city could this have been done? Reason assumes that wherever the blood in the sewers ended up is where it was used, but the only mention of where it ends up is down. No destination other than that. I may be stretching out on a limb here, but I think the Primeval Thaig is where this research was done specifically. A Dwarven thaig located beneath the Deep Roads is a rather convenient location for the collection of all that blood. I don’t think the Magisters created it, but they may have discovered it while they were researching underground. It may have even been why the Tevinters used such force when invading the area, the location whispered to them by the Old Gods. The Thaig is littered with Tevinter constructs as well. For example, the Claws of Dumat, which were used to collect the blood of sacrificed slaves are found in the sealed Thaig. These Claws are specifically said to have been used to tear open the Fade. I can’t think of a more direct connection than that.
There is even evidence of a High Priest near Kirkwall. Corypheus. He awoke from dormancy in -191 Ancient and was trapped by the Wardens in the Vimmark Mountains right outside Kirkwall in -189 Ancient. While it doesn’t prove that Corypheus woke up around or lived in Kirkwall, it does prove that he was close. He also shows an interest in the Primeval Thaig, manipulating Bianca Davri into sharing its location. While this might imply that he didn’t know where it was, the route may have changed due to over one thousand years of cave ins.
I would also be remiss not to note the similarity between Tevinter imagery for the city and most symbols for the Black City. (Sidenote: after Tevinter rule of Emerius, the name was changed to Kirkwall, for the black wall of stone that faces the sea)
The first image is the Tevinter symbol for the city, the second is the current Kirkwall symbol, and the third is a Chantry symbol for the Black City. I don’t think Kirkwall is the Black City, but I do think the similarities in the images show some type of connection between the city and the Second Sin.
So there we go. All of the evidence I have for why Emerius/Kirkwall is where the Magisters walked into the Fade. There’s definitely more to say though, especially on the Primeval Thaig and the implications for da4 with the red lyrium idol are... interesting.
Sources:
Codex Entry: Speculations on Kirkwall
Codex Entry: The Enigma of Kirkwall
Codex Entry: History of Kirkwall 1 and 2
Codex Entry: Privileged to be Wardens
Codex Entry: Corypheus
Codex Entry: Cardinal Rules of Magic
Codex Entry: Claws of Dumat
Codex Entry: Primeval Thaig
Dragon Age: Inquisition “Well, Shit” Quest
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.
this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!
so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?
but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate
and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already
so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl
btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death
anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered
so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining
im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there
and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future
which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell
so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs
so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why
but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much
besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess
AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten
sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context
anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone
but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't
someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't
but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company
and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go
honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"
so.... alec goes
and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?
meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?
and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to
and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her
but also... he misses magnus already
and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind
and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there
and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower
she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind
and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay
driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea
except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves
and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park
anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time
good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves
so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too
which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse
izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus
but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?
they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]
anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it
izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good
*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him
full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!
which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good
which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice
eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)
and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me
#sh#shadowhunters#malec#magnus bane#alec lightwood#izzy lightwood#lightwood siblings#clizzy if u squint#beauty and the beast au#part 2 i guess lmao#ask#shum-baby#long post#abuse mention
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man i’ve got Opinions on the live-action Transformers movies
i know, i know, insane concept, especially for a professional Transformers fangirl like myself
but still
for context, i saw the first two when they came out back when i was a kid. i honestly can’t really remember how i felt on them, not because the memories are vague and hazy or anything, but because the memories are conflicting. i have memories of enjoying these movies when i was actually consuming them (both watching them and reading the novelization of the first one, i reread that book several times), but also joining in on the online circlejerk hatred for them?
but then after i saw Revenge of the Fallen, i never saw a live-action Transformers movie again until last year.
i heard about Dark of the Moon, Age of Extinction, and The Last Knight as they happened, and i even heard some intriguing things about the first two, but i never had much interest in watching them. my memories of pretty much everything post-2010 are significantly clearer than my memories of things pre-2010, so i can pretty definitively say that at this point my opinions of the Bay movies were pretty low, and i actually mostly forgot that i had ever really liked them at all.
and then i heard about Bumblebee as it was happening, and i desperately wanted to see it, but things just never worked out. transportation is still a major Issue for me so i could never arrange a ride to the theater, and by the time you could see it out of theaters, it wasn’t the hot topic anymore, so while i still wanted to see it, i wasn’t freaking out about trying to make it happen.
and then last year, i decided to do a group marathon of every single Transformers movie with my friends. as a sidenote, here’s my opinions on the two animated Transformers movies: the 86 movie is my favorite movie of all time and i’ve seen it several times and loved it each time; and while Transformers: Prime is a good show, Predacons Rising was an extremely weak finale.
anyways, i saw every live-action movie, too. and i actually saw TLK twice because of scheduling conflicts.
we watched the first five in a pretty fast order (albeit missing some people for TLK). but then we actually genuinely enjoyed some of them, and i knew Bumblebee was gonna be very different and that might be disappointing, so i decided to put off Bumblebee for a couple weeks so we could cool off from the Bay movies and go into it more fresh. and then a few months later i finally got around to rewatching TLK.
so.
Transformers (2007) is pretty good. it’s a fun little adventure, it doesn’t bog itself down too much in the insane shit the later movies would, and it actually succeeds really well at some things the rest of the brand could learn from (or actually did learn from). Transformers (2007) is really good at the whole “Robots In Disguise” idea- it totally sells the idea that a big part of what makes the Decepticons so scary is how thoroughly they’ve infiltrated human society. and then there’s the longstanding effect this movie’s had on the rest of the series- most notably, the Allspark and Bumblebee. yeah, Bumblebee existed before this movie, but hot take, this movie is what made Bumblebee an actually interesting character. at the end of the day, though, this is still a Micheal Bay movie, which limits just how good it can be.
Revenge of the Fallen is so fucking bad. i absolutely despise this movie to its core. it didn’t do everything wrong- it and 2007 are the only ones of these movies that actually feel like they understand Optimus Prime as a character; Jetfire is a kinda fascinating amalgamation of G1 Jetfire, Unicron Trilogy Jetfire, and new ideas; it started Seymour Simmons’ glorious character development; and Alice’s line about “pretending” to date is a very cute nod to the fandom. but you’ll notice that that last bullet point is a bit of a reach and it’s one of my favorite things about this movie. i actually saw this movie twice as a kid (first on a bootleg DVD, but it cut off the ending, so i went to see it again in theaters to see how it ended), and i have no idea how i stomached it, it reeks so bad.
Dark of the Moon kinda fucking rules. it feels like they learned from and fixed a lot of RotF’s biggest problems, Sam finally feels like he’s come into his own as a character, the character deaths finally actually feel impactful, the series’ weird fascination with the US military actually feels more justified than usual, the government lady’s willingness to actually accept her mistakes and move on from them is INCREDIBLY refreshing, Dylan is an ungodly intriguing villain, the stakes and action setpieces are wonderfully bombastic, and best of all, i unironically think Dark of the Moon has the single best Megatron design of all time. he transforms into a truck, and in robot mode he has a poncho and a shotgun and an open head wound, it’s so fucking good. the movie’s biggest sin is that it is unfortunately the point where these movies suddenly nosedive with the whole “understanding Optimus Prime as a character” thing, and while 4 and 5 would continue this trend, 3 is where it’s at its absolute worst. why does the movie end with him committing a double warcrime.
Age of Extinction is..... such a nothing movie. it feels like it’s trying so hard to not be a Micheal Bay movie, but it failed, and the result was a movie with all of Bay’s weaknesses but none of his strengths. it has some good shots, and good ideas, and it’s not as ungodly offensive as RotF, but... it just inspires nothing. also, the new design philosophy continues the trend of “all of the negatives, none of the positives”; it feels like they tried to refine the designs, but they ended up sanding off all of the old designs’ character without adding anything new to replace them. i’m not the biggest fan of the 1-3 Optimus Prime design, but i can’t deny that it’s iconic as fuck. the 4-5 Optimus design is just...... bland. also the movie is an incredibly obvious parallel to post-9/11 America, and it just feels really strange when Micheal Bay spends all of his time jacking off to the US military.
The Last Knight was incredible......... on the first viewing. on the first viewing, i thought it was absolutely insane in a good way. i could understand why this was the last movie, it really felt like it was gasping for air the whole way through, but it was at least gasping in a very entertaining way.
then i watched it again a couple months later after having seen Bumblebee and oh god it did not hold up any more. it just did not hit that second time. it was at least goofier than Age of Extinction, but god, this movie feels like it would have struggled to fill even one hour of content, and yet it’s two and a half hours.
Bumblebee is fucking incredible. everything i could say about it has already been said. one of my friends (who particularly enjoyed TLK on that first watch, and also is still fairly obsessed with Dylan) was a little unimpressed with it, but admitted it was probably just because, like i feared, they went in expecting something more like Bay’s fare, just better, and that’s not really what Bumblebee is. at the time, i felt like they were insane for not enjoying Bumblebee as much as the rest of us, but i at least kinda understood it; but after that TLK rewatch, i don’t even really understand it anymore.
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WHERE IS THE REST?
After “Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon” came out, it has come to our knowledge that Stannis will be burning Shireen in the books as well. It was revealed somewhere last summer that Jorah and Grey Worm were supposed to betray Danerys, but then they changed their mind about it.
This isn’t special on its own, but it is once you notice that all of this was hard-coded into the GoT’s foreshadowing a long time ago, for example through transition scenes... yet they dropped plots and cherry picked fanservice what they wanted for the final season.
it’s angering “fun” to see what they foreshadowed through those transition scenes, what made it and what didn’t made it. In specific, D&D have said transition scenes were important, because they say something about them. I cannot find the proper citation for this, but it’s common knowledge.
What I’ll write next is only for ONE episode, but this exercise can be made in SEVERAL episodes, this isn’t an isolated case by any means. (the following is a repurpose of an earlier post I made for this matter and i only have paint ATM, which is why the graphics are so shitty).
S03E01: Valar Dohaeris
Danerys is sailing through the Summer Sea while she watches the dragons fishing. While she’s fond of them, she doesn’t think they’re enough to conquer the Iron Throne so she wants an army. Jorah suggests she buys Unsullied and while she doesn’t like the idea at first because they’re slaves, she eventually relents as she believes it’s mecessary. Later, she arrives in Astapor and tours the Unsullied barracks.
There are two Danerys’ scenes in Valar Dohaeris, which are preceeded and followed by other adjacent scenes which characterise Danerys’ motivations during her stay at Astapor by contrast and parallels. Below, I enclose the scene transtion schematics.
[3] Sansa with Shae in King’s Landing port watching the ships.
[*] Danerys sailing the seas and beng suggested the Unsullied.
[4] Davos confronts Stannis about Melisandre burning people..
[5] The Tyrell siblings and Cersei / Joffrey having dinner where they discuss Margaery’s charity.
[*] Danerys arrives at Astapor and tours the Unsullied barracks.
[3] Sansa is powerlessly watching ships at the port, wishing one of them would take her away from captivity. This is followed by a contrast, Danerys is on a ship doing whatever she wants and going wherever she wants. Danerys and Sansa are foils.
Shae and Sansa play a game about where the ships come from and where they go. At some point, Littlefinger comes to talk to Sansa, promising to take her away
Remember this one for later.
In the show, Ros tells Shae that Sansa’s birth was a joyous day, where the bells were rung from sunrise to sunset. In the books (the equivalent chapter where Danerys sails the seas), Danerys recalls her own birth was during a storm which destroyed her father’s ships. Much later in the show (season 7), Danerys’ birth is brought up again, it’s mentioned that she was born during a storm and the dogs barked the entire night.
There is a clear contrast between these two characters births according to the show canon. Sansa was born and there was joyful bell ringing during the entire day, while Danerys was born and there was ominous barking dogs during the entire night. Take note that the foreboding for Danerys is in the books’ canon as well, as the storm raged all night and destroyed the Targaryen ships.
Sansa cannot go home because she’s a prisoner with no power (no movement), while Danerys is sailing free and returning home because she’s free with power via the dragons (movement).
There is a clear contrast between these two character in agency and power as well, which also translates into how they rule. Sansa is a prisoner that had to learn politics and how to play the game of thrones because she had no dragons to rise to power, while Danerys is free after she births the dragons so she never learnt either because the dragons gave her power.
Danerys doesn’t think the dragons enough to get the Iron Throne and wants an army. Jorah suggests to buy Unsullied and Danerys decides that she will get them. This is followed by [4] Davos confronting Stannis for allowing Melisandre to sentence those that oppose them to burning alive, but Stannis justifies this as necessary for the war he’s fighting. Stannis (through Melisandre) and Danerys as parallels, basically Stannis (through Melisandre) is Danerys on dragon steroids LITE. Stannis and Danerys have many adjacent scenes for this reason (for example, walking into the fire, threatening to burn people, activelly burning people, and so forth...)
Stannis confronts Stannis after he’s informed by Salladhor Saan (earlier in the episode) that Stannis follows what Melisandre tells him to do due to the prophecies she sees in the fire. In parallel, (in the books) Danerys follows what she sees in dragon (fire) dreams and other prophecies as well.
Stannis (through Melisandre) and Danerys both follow prophecies that are associated with fire, which are interpretated to suit their narcissistic delusions of grandeur. The magic is real, the meaning they gave them is not.
Melisandre is said to sing to her enemies as they burned, while (in the books) Danerys is said to “sing” while she commmands the dragons to burn the Unsullied masters (yes, this very story segment we’re on!).
Melisandre asks if Davos remembers all those men burning and yelling for their mothers, while Danerys burns every master in Astapor (including what’s basically children, as she says anyone over the age of 14)
Melisandre is called the “mother of monsters” for creating the shadow assassin through blood magic, while Danerys is called the “mother of dragons” for creating the dragons through blood magic, both using these fire magic instruments against their enemies.
Melisandre and Danerys blood magics are both characterised negatively. As a sidenote, Melisandre’s blood magic is sex and burning blood, while Danerys’ blood magic is burning others. In reality, it’s all the same shit, Melisandre’s sex “equals” to life (conception) and she made the shadow baby (subtle) and Danerys killed three lives for the dragons. Only death can pay for life.
Stannis isn’t so keen on burning prisoners and enemies, but does because he believes it to be justice against the infidels and what’s necessary to win the Iron Throne. In parallel, Danerys isn’t so keen on buying the Unsullied, but she burns the masters because she believes it’s justice and believes them necessary to win the Iron Throne.
Stannis and Danerys may both dislike abhorrent behaviour, but they engage in it regardless because they believe it necessary to achieve their objectes. Theis trend escalates from acceptable targets (the Faith of the Seven statues or Viserys) to uncceptable targets (prisoners of war that oppose them), until it’s unsustainable (Shireen or the citizens of King’s Landing) and then someone kills them. It’s worth noting that in the books, Jorah suggests the Unsullied and Danerys doesn’t even give a shit that they are slaves, getting excited with the idea instead.
[5] Margaery gives food to the poor. After, the Tyrell siblings have dinner with Joffrey and Cersei where they discuss Margaery’s charity, with Cersei implying it’s not genuine. This is followed by Danerys touring the Unsullied barracks, where she notes Kraznys being a dick to the Unsullied, which she later uses an excuse as to why she freed them, bt this isn’t genuine. Danerys and Margaery are (in hindsight) parallels.
Margaery does charity not for altruistic reasons, but because she wants to gain power by currying favour through the people’s support. Likewise, Danerys frees the Unsullied not because she cares about freedom (remember, she wanted to buy them regardless), but because she has no money to buy them and wants good publicity.
Margaery and Danerys are both dishonest about their real motivations for doing good deeds, because they’re basically just publicity stunts to harnass support and power. On one hand, when Margaery is taken by the Faith of the Seven, she eventually admits that she never cared about the poor and in fact hated them, but did what she did for power. On the other hand, when Danerys negotiates with Kraznys, she realises she has no money to buy them and makes sure they’ll follow for sure before dropping the dragon, only after she’s convinced by the dispute between Barristan advocating Rhaegar was loved and that’s why others followed him versus Jorah advocating that Rhaegar was honest and that’s why he died.
Margaery is dressed through these scenes in a similar way as Danerys when she’s pandering to the same “soft-power” tactics.
Good so far? Let’s rewind.
Danerys and Sansa are foils.
Sansa cannot go home because she’s a prisoner with no power (no movement), while Danerys is sailing free and returning home because she’s free with power via the dragons (movement).
Sansa adquires a “dragon” in season 6. He’s not the mythological beast proper, but her cousin Jon Snow, who’s secretely a Targaryen and therefore the “blood of the dragon”. Such, one of Jon’s narrative purposes for Sansa is the same as the dragons for Danerys, Jon’s there to protect and power Sansa, to take her home when others couldn’t or wouldn’t.
Jon protecting Sansa happens from the moment they reunite, as he vows to look after her and not leave her from that point forward (Ned haunting him is just a joke, as in show canon Jon doesn’t believe there’s anything beyond death, as he saw nothing when he did). So Jon protects Sansa from Ramsay and Littlefinger, gets angry on her behalf against Tyrion and Theon, there’s an unexplicable hiatus where he's a different character (what happened?), but at the end Jon returns to character and kills Danerys to protect Sansa.
Jon empowering Sansa, not so much. Jon accepts being King in the North instead of making Sansa the Queen in the North... until the very end and in this King’s Landing port (what were D&D indireectly saying that they wouldn’t say directly?)... where Jon forsakes being King in the North (even though that’s dumb, since he’s in jail now) and names Sansa the Queen in the North instead. It was done late and contrived (Jon has been convicted to “jail”, he could never be king again), but the correct foreshadowing was played straight neverhteless.
Sansa asks Littlefinger to take her home and he says that it’ll be treason since she’s property of the crown, but then promises he’ll try to smuggle her on a ship but she needs to be ready to flee.
Littlefinger doesn’t take Sansa home, he takes her to the Eyrie instead. In the books, Sansa accuses Littlefinger of lying about his promise and he admits it, while telling her to forget Winterfell and make the Eyrie home instead. Some time ater, Littlefinger promises to take Sansa to Winterfell after all if she marries Harry Hardying. A likely story... not. Littlefinger already had promised and lied about it.
In the show, Littlefinger does sell Sansa to the Boltons, so she technically returns home but since she runs away shortly after, there’s that feeling it didn’t count. It’s Jon that truly takes Sansa home, by defeating the Boltons and retaking Winterfell at her behalf because if he decided, he’d rather defect south. So, once again th foreshadowing was played straight.
It has been confirmed that in the books, Littlefinger won’t be selling Sansa to the Boltons, so she cannot return to Winterfell that way, not even technically... So Sansa will realise Littlefinger will never take her home even if she marries Harry, so she’ll flee the Vale to the Wall, then Jon takes her home.
Sansa plays a game about the ships she’s watching, where they’re headed to and why. The captain is disillusioned with undeserving people and wants to go wait out winter in Dorne where it’s warm.
Sansa is playing a game of pretend, because she has a penchant to sugarcoat than face the reality of things. When Shae asks her why she’s doing it, Sansa says she does it because “the truth is either boring or terrible”. For once, a good original scene. Still, Sansa’s fantasy is quite specific, this captain must represent someone else.
Knowing D&D, thisis to be delivered later like something out of a shopping list later on. So... someone is going to want to escape winter to someplace warm, because they're disillusioned with undeserving people. As a matter of fact, the scene before Sansa crashes the no!funeral at Castle Black, Jon (born in Dorne) embodies it...
Jon Snow. Three out of three.
To summarise, these transition scenes predict Danerys storyline regarding some issues by paralleling Stannis and Margaery scenes, as well as by contrasting Sansa’s scene. This is reciprocal as Danerys’ scenes also predict Stannis and Margaery as well as Sansa’s by paralleling and contrasting with their scenes.
As for Sansa proper, to recap and in broad strokes, Sansa is watching the ships and wishes to go home on one but can't because she is a prisoner with no power, which is contrasted with Danerys sailing on a ship and going home because she's free due to her dragons. In addition, this also foreshadows that Sansa gains a “dragon” later on, who provides freedom and protection as well as takes her home and gives her power, the person being revealed in Sansa’s scene details.
It was all there.
Well not all... I got to say that Littlefinger selling Sansa to the Boltons wasn't the only bulshit D&D pulled on the northern campaign. This is because according to this reading that Jon is Sansa’s dragon, he is supposed to empower Sansa yet he accepts being King in the North instead of her. That's not empowering!
It can work though, for example Jon wanting to crown Sansa as Queen in the North, but then having to backtrack because Tyrion presses his marriage to still be valid, so accepts to be King in the North to protect her. Well, this is the realm of speculation, not the point of this post, which was “where’s the rest”...
WHERE’S THE REST?
Let's backpedal a little. Amongst the things Littlefinger says...
Littlefinger: You are the property of the crown. Stealing you would be treason.
In ASOIAF / GoT, a man stealing a woman is wildling code for marriage. This is bad, I don’t like this... because Petyr Baelish stealing Sansa Stark from the Lannister crown is not cool.... but no, as seen from the previous points the metaphor here is meant to be Jon Snow so...
Jonathan Snowflake, who is accused of stealing a redhead around this time in the narrative, later thinks about stealing a woman when confronted with the opportunity to take Winterfell from Lady Lannister, is accused of being half-wilding and having a bizarre endgame where he's suggested to be a wildling but not really since they mention he’s still in the Watch (what was that)...
Jon Snow stealing Sansa Stark.
Knowingly. Willingly.
Jon Snow stealing Sansa Stark from the crown..., which incidently is the Lannister crown, when Sansa is married to Tyrion Lannister. ... Uhm... Tyrion Lannister, who incidently features in the scene preceding this exact one, where Tywin Lannister denies him Casterly Rock and promises him a bride... which is Sansa. Lawl at foreshadowing choochoo train being all matchy matchy with each other.
Jon Snow stealing Sansa Stark from Tyrion Lannister.
I’d like to see it. Where is it?
As a side-note, Sansa's scene details of the ship captain and Littlefinger’s speech is interesting because they might hint at a scrapped storyline for how this entire would have developed, a storyline closer to the books.
Sansa: It's carrying silk and it's supposed to bring back wine in exchange, but it's not coming back.
Sansa imagines the captain leaves with the excuse he's going for a trade deal to exchange silk for wine (food) and in the books, food is actually a big deal with Jon being concerned about food often, at some point saying their best hope to get some arse is the Eyrie. For example, Jon pretending he's going to the Vale with Sansa to get food but then defecting for her sake fits.
Littlefinger: I saw your mother not long ago. She's very eager to see you. And your sister.
Sansa: Arya's alive?
Littlefinger mentions Cat and Arya, which is interesting because in the books, Cat prowls as the undead Lady Stoneheart, having taken Brienne who’s looking for Sansa, and Jeyne Poole is impersonating as Arya Stark (she’s the one that marries Ramsay). So these threads may be more connected to Sansa fleeing the Vale than previously thought. Perhaps Stoneheart told Brienne where Sansa is, perhaps Sansa finds out about fake!Arya and that’s why she decides to flee.
Well.. that’s also the realm of speculation...
By the way... armed with this post, answer the following GoT’s endgame questions:
Danerys burning King’s Landing because she believes it’s justice against her enemies and necessary to win the iron chair was out of character?
Jon didn’t notice that Danerys was an arsonist lizard even worse than Stannis and Melisandre?
[INSERT JON BANNING MELISANDRE FROM THE NORTH HERE]
Jon didn’t notice that Danerys was a fake altruist bitch like Margaery?
I’d like to see it. Where is it?
WHAT HAPPENED?
#bulshit that's what happened#jonsa#anti jonerys#anti daenerys#i only have paint on this laptop and i don't FEEL like installing tumblr on my laptop
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Sonic X Theory: the other Ultimate Lifeforms
In Sonic X’s adaptation of Sonic Adventure 2, they make an interesting claim about the Ultimate Lifeform prototypes on the ARK. When Rouge hacks into the base, she informs Shadow of one thing- he wasn’t the only prototype from Project Shadow that escaped the ARK massacre.
[ID: screenshots from Sonic X: one of Rouge looking up Project Shadow, surprised and reading “Shadow? Secure and dispose?” Another shot of two escape pods falling towards a planet, with the caption from a GUN soldier: “Our mission ended when we sealed away the prototype of the ultimate lifeform.” End ID.]
Rouge makes the claim that neither of these escape pods was Shadow... so in X Canon, is Shadow even who he thinks he is? And just as importantly... who are the other prototypes?
Full theory under the cut.
So first off. Let’s look at Rouge’s claim that Shadow isn’t who he thinks he is.
Part One: Is Shadow from the ARK?
[ID: screenshots from Sonic X of Rouge and Shadow talking, with the following dialogue:
Rouge: This is the progress report for Project Shadow, a plan to create the ultimate life form. The body they created is still held there.
Shadow: I know. That’s a prototype. I’m the Ultimate Lifeform they created afterwards-
Rouge: Two capsules were ejected when the ARK was shut down. But neither was found. They couldn’t lock up in prison what they couldn’t find. Do you understand? I wonder who you really are.
Shadow looks troubled. End ID.]
So two capsules were ejected and neither was found in the fifty years it’s been since the accident-- except I think Rouge is wrong about one thing. Shadow is who he thinks he is- because his capsule was sent out alone. It must have somehow not been logged.
How do we know this? Shadow’s flashback of being sent away and the man who worked for GUN are completely different- first of all, the GUN soldier doesn’t remember her saying anything to Shadow, or Shadow even being there- it seems that she died to send away something or someone else. Second- Maria is in a different position around the lever in both flashbacks. See the GUN soldier’s first--
Though we don’t see the full room, we get the sense that it’s small from the other shots that I don’t have the time to screenshot. She’s around an elevated platform not attached to a wall, and either facing the pod she’s sending away or in a completely different room.
But, both of Shadow’s alternate memories of Maria sending him away-- the first one more stylized, the second one we can assume more real-- neither looks like this.
In both, she’s in a differing position. In the sepia flashback, she’s not facing him, and pulling a lever attached to a wall. In the second flashback, she’s already on the floor, and the lever pad we see would cause her to be facing away from Shadow. In neither of these do we see any evidence that anyone other than Shadow and Maria are in the room or even nearby.
Shadow also has enough evidence he’s who he thinks he is- he has the right powerset, the GUN soldier says that they did, indeed, seal away an Ultimate Prototype, Gerald mentions Shadow enough in his monologues, and... honestly there’s really no evidence that he isn’t Shadow, other than the two pods. And two pods? Shadow was sent out alone, we saw no evidence of a second pod in either flashback. So he wasn’t with anyone else.
So what’s the conclusion? The conclusion is that these are two different events- one where Maria releases Shadow, and one where she releases another- or, possibly, the others, the two pods that were logged as escaping.
Maria either freed Shadow first and then the other two, or she freed the first two, got shot, and then managed to survive long enough to send Shadow away. Either way-- these events are separate.
So what was in the other two pods? Two other prototypes of the Ultimate Lifeform, clearly, but nothing like the Biolizard, they’re too small.
Now let me ask you something... wouldn’t it make sense for the Ultimate Prototypes to look similar, if they were similar lifeforms?
And who do we know who looks similar to Shadow?
Part Two: Sonic is an Ultimate Lifeform
[ID: Shadow looking down at Sonic, and saying, “I see. We actually do look alike. It’s like looking in a mirror.” End ID.]
Okay so like. Unless you’re very colorblind I think you’ve noticed that Shadow and Sonic are completely different colors. But let’s ignore that for now-- they do have a very similar silhouette... in fact, Shadow’s silhouette is incredibly close to SuperSonic, which is Sonic at full power. And in-universe, they look similar enough that in low lighting pretty much nobody can tell them apart.
And not just that- Sonic has a lot of power for a seemingly “normal” mobian. [Yes, I know they don’t use the term “Mobius” in Sonic X but let me simplify this somehow.] His superspeed, ability to survive so much shit... he’s powerful enough that he presents a rival for Shadow without chaos emeralds (though Shadow is nerfed a little by the Inhibitor Rings- more on that later).
[ID: Sonic and Shadow racing; they are keeping up with each other. Shadow says, “It seems your appearance isn’t the only thing that’s similar to me. Who are you?” Sonic responds, “I’m me.” End ID.]
Shadow’s right- their appearance isn’t where the resemblance stops. And of course there’s probably the most damning similarity-- they are the only two characters we see go Super and have the ability to control the Chaos Emeralds.
[ID: First image is SuperSonic and SuperShadow, having absorbed the power of the chaos emeralds. Second image is from the Third Season, where a MetaRex shouts, “There are two individuals [referring to Sonic and Shadow] who can draw out the power of the Chaos Emeralds?” End ID.]
Oh and SPEAKING OF Sonic/Shadow similarities-- there’s a scene in Season Three where Sonic is being lectured by the villain about how all life ends eventually so why bother etc. and Sonic says that life is worth the good bits, all that jazz. Here’s the scene:
youtube
And exactly 1:25 in.... guess what starts playing
youtube
This song is scarily similar to “Recollection of the Ark”... Shadow’s sad song about his memories of the ARK... while Sonic is being lectured about still having faith in humanity. You know. Like MARIA WANTED.
Interesting how we know absolutely nothing about Sonic’s past, huh-- pretty much all we have before he meets Tails is that he says he’s fifteen years old, but honestly... are we even sure about that? First of all, if Sonic was revived alone, there wouldn’t be a way to tell his age, he’d probably just accept the first age someone assigned him.
Alternatively, we know from the end of Season Two and the beginning of Season Three that time works in a very wonky way from Earth to Mobius- in the ~2-3 days Sonic’s alone with Chris, a week passes on Mobius, despite the fact we know he can chaos control at any time. In the third season? Six years pass on Earth while six months pass on Mobius. So time doesn’t really work in a reasonable way, meaning it’s possible that Sonic is fifteen... and he lived fifteen years on Mobius after awakening, while fifty years passed on Earth.
And we know for a fact that travel between Mobius and Earth was possible even before the events of Season One... because Eggman was born on Earth.
[ID: Eggman looking shocked and turning around in a chair, announcing, “I was born in this world!” End ID.]
Eggman was born on Earth and somehow ended up on Mobius-- but he was young enough he didn’t realize until he saw that Gerald lived on Earth. So was he in the second escape pod? It’s possible, but I don’t think so-- he’d have to have information on Gerald, and it seems he had a picture of Gerald and Maria, so it’s likely he traveled with a parent or guardian, or at least some kind of family history, which I doubt Maria would think to store in an escape pod while everyone was running for their lives. This plot element was probably just to set up that travel between the dimensions happens more than we think.
Neither escape pod from the ARK was recovered, probably because they ended up on Mobius.
It’s most likely that they Chaos Controlled into the other dimension-- I know I said Maria probably wouldn’t think to store anything other than the lifeform themselves in the pod, but if the lifeform needed Chaos Emeralds to practice/control their powers, or the Chaos Emeralds were already stored in an escape pod for safekeeping-- or if, possibly, GUN was attempting to capture the Chaos Emeralds as well, and the Robotniks knew that they would use them in a destructive way-- all that combined could mean that the emeralds would also be important enough to send away in a pod.
If even one of the pods had Chaos Emeralds, it’s possible that the lifeform inside could have sensed danger and unconsciously teleported them to the most safe place from GUN-- another world where GUN didn’t exist and couldn’t reach them. And even better-- a world where mobians like them lived.
From Sonic X lore that I don’t have the time to find and screencap, we know that the two worlds used to be the same but split at some point in history. If this was after, say, the events of Chaos destroying the Echidnas-- which, sidenote, interesting how they disappear and nobody knows where they went, so it’s possible that Chaos straight-up split the dimensions just to get rid of the Echidnas-- then enough of their lore could remain. Old cave paintings, wall carvings, etc., could show enough mobians that scientists could probably think “oh, wow, that looks like a god figure. might as well design our ultimate lifeform after that, esp since they had this god that could control chaos and the chaos emeralds came from here.”
Wanna know what’s interesting about those ancient echidna temples? Guess who’s there-- if we go by Sonic 3 & Knuckles, a game that ofc had been released by the time X was being written...
SuperSonic.
Both the ultimate form of Sonic, and the silhouette of Shadow.
So let’s say they find this on the ARK studies, and they’re like “okay so our ultimate lifeform goal is a hedgehog. Got it.” There’s two options after this:
They make Sonic, but deem him a failure for reasons and cryo-freeze him until they need him or can release him. They then proceed to make Shadow, who they believe actually is their ultimate lifeform.
They made Shadow first, but after a while kept experimenting and making more prototypes, just in case, or possibly because they decided Shadow wasn’t powerful enough. However, the prototypes weren’t ready to awaken before the ARK massacre, Shadow never met them.
So as I’ve made clear, I’m pretty sure that one of those prototypes was Sonic-- who, of course, has no idea. Either he only entered consciousness after arriving in Mobius, or his memories of the ARK were so vague, traumatic, early, or a combo, that his mind blocked them out. Either way, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that he and Shadow are both prototypes, which is what gives Sonic his power.
And Sonic’s power, btw, isn’t limited like Shadow’s. Because he doesn’t have inhibitor rings.
If prototype!Sonic was sent away with inhibitor rings, he ditched them. Which would make sense, especially if he woke up with no memory of the ARK and didn’t know why these weird bracelets were on his arm. He would notice that the rings slowed him down and ditch them fast. And that’s assuming they even stuck rings on the prototype.
But if we do assume they stuck rings on the prototypes... maybe we can find the other lifeform that was sent away along with Sonic.
Part Three: Who is the Third Ultimate Lifeform?
Okay. Let’s do a headcount.
Who, in Sonic X,
Existed on Mobius at the same time as Sonic,
Doesn’t appear to have a lot of power but has a lot of incredible strength if you pay attention,
Sometimes shows strange abilities, such as far leaps into the air, a speed great enough that they can sometimes catch up to Sonic (though not as great, possibly because of the inhibition), even potentially the ability to summon weapons out of thin air,
Looks similar to the Mobian Hedgehog-- or, perhaps, with influences from a Mobian Echidna, who were the ones who had the SuperSonic glyphs in the first place, and thus could potentially serve as a design point,
Wears rings around their wrists at all times?
[ID: Amy Rose being absurdly powerful in several screencaps, often glowing; though this is normal anime expressionwork, it is something that exclusively happens to Amy in Sonic X. End iD.]
And, of course, this beauteous moment:
[ID: A scene from the season two finale of Sonic X. Eggman’s ship, on which Amy’s hammer is stuck, is high above her, and Eggman taunts “It doesn’t matter if you’re angry because your hammer is stuck up here!” In the following image, a moving gif, Amy summons a hammer out of thin air, a puff of smoke coming from it, as she is still glowing with a fire-like energy. Eggman’s robots shout “She has another one! How many does she have?” End ID.]
That’s right! This was all an excuse to spout out my “Amy Rose could kill God” propaganda! But it’s not propaganda if I’m right!
Part Four: The Lifeforms
So. It’s been a couple months since I made this post, but I was rewatching Sonic X with my sister, and we did notice that you do see prototype lifeforms for a flash in the GUN soldier’s story.
[ID: Screenshots from Sonic X; The GUN soldier narrates his story, as we see GUN soldiers arresting scientists, while standing in front of empty tubes of bubbling green liquid. The caption reads, “There were many rumors about ARK. Such as doing research for eternal life or creating the Ultimate Life Form.” The GUN soldier steps to a tube that has something in it. End ID.]
We see a brief flash of an experimental lifeform in this memory, as seen above; we also see two more, the ones that were explicitly stated to be the ones Maria was freeing.
[ID: Screenshots from later in the same episode of Sonic X, the first showing two tubes with dark figures inside, surrounded by dark blue bubbling water. The next screenshot shows Maria preparing to free them, with the captions reading “An experimental life form? She’s planning to free it!” End ID.]
So, these silhouettes. Let’s uh. Let’s take a look at those huh
Now, the bodies are too thick to be standard mobian bodies- but we can also see wires attached to the prototypes, as well as, you know, whatever that liquid is. It’s entirely possible there’s something wrapped around their bodies, to keep them safe/asleep/etc.
But..... ok so I might be reaching here but analyzing the face silhouettes, using red lines to mark quills and green to mark potential laid-back ears, it really could be long-quilled sonic and short-quilled Amy.
As well as this, in the shot of the GUN soldier looking at a prototype, I swear I can see a mobian ear.
tl;dr this is all fascinating me and I think we should let the Sonic X crew return to making this show as if they never left so that we can get answers to this
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic x#shadow the hedgehog#sonic adventure 2#amy rose#mine#connie theories#connie writes
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hey guys it's me again back on my bullshit <3 wanna hear my theory about how tommy created king steve? warning it’s like 2800 words long okay let's go!
So, at first glance in S1, the Steve and Tommy dynamic seems somewhat obvious: King Steve and his loyal sidekick. This post is me arguing that the only reason we really have this perception is because Steve is the more attractive of the pair (no hate to Chester Rushing, he’s very cute, but. Joe Keery) and because Tommy himself encouraged it. Tommy was actually the more “dominant” partner in the duo. I believe that it was Tommy who encouraged Steve to lean into the “King Steve” persona and who encouraged belief in this persona among their classmates, all for his own benefit.
Before we can really get into it, I have to establish something about Steve’s character, specifically that he bases his self-worth and self-image almost entirely on what others say and think about him. I’m basing this assumption off of a few key moments in the series, but I don’t want this to be insanely long so I’ll try to focus on season two where this trait is most evident.
At the Halloween party, Nancy tells Steve that they killed Barb and that their “love” is bullshit, and then later outside of the gym she insists that he isn’t being fair or reasonable in his anger with her. The next day Steve shows up to her house with roses, rehearsing an apology (”I’m sorry... what am I sorry for?) even though he doesn’t feel that he’s done anything wrong. That’s important: apologizing even though he doesn’t actually believe or understand his feelings and actions to be wrong. He’s trusting Nancy’s perception that he’s been unreasonable above his own hurt feelings and his own perception that he’s done nothing he needs to apologize for. Then, at the end of the season, he tells Nancy that he may have been a shitty boyfriend, but he’s a pretty damn good babysitter.
Sometime between going to the Wheelers’ house with flowers to apologize and talking to Nancy at the Byers’, Steve did a pretty serious 180 from “What the hell am I sorry for, what did I even do wrong” to “I was a shitty boyfriend and you should go be with Jonathan.” The last time he interacted with Nancy was prior to the flower incident, so what happened to cause this shift in perspective? I’d like to suggest... that nothing happened!
See, Steve is on a pretty linear emotional path in S2 after the Halloween party. At first, he’s so upset that he can’t even look at Nancy, asking Jonathan to take her home. The next day he avoids her until she confronts him, at which point he’s rather confident in his own feelings that Nancy has hurt him and doesn’t love him like she should. As time goes on, though, he loses confidence in his feelings. He buys her flowers to apologize. He isn’t remotely angry with Nancy or Jonathan once they show up together and it’s pretty clear that something’s going on between them. Finally, he calls himself a shitty boyfriend. I think that the more time passes, the less Steve believes in himself, and the more he tends to default to believing others despite his own feelings. As the anger fades, he questions himself, and since he loves and trusts Nancy, he’s inclined to believe her! Since she doesn’t love him, he must have done something wrong. Because Nancy doesn’t love him, because she wants Jonathan, because their relationship was “bullshit,” he now believes he must have been a shitty boyfriend.
Sidenote, in S3 he says a lot of shit about how he’s a loser with no future, and the way he says it indicates (to me) that it’s something he hears quite often, likely from his father. Even though it’s pretty normal to be working minimum wage the summer after you graduate high school and not have things figured out yet, even though he’s literally helped save his friends’ lives, perhaps even helped save the whole town, Steve has internalized the idea that he’s a total failure at the ripe old age of 18 (19?) and I can’t help but think that it’s because his father has told him. So. Also in S3, he says his hair is his greatest feature, and apparently people literally call him Steve “the Hair” Harrington so like, maybe he just knows he has really good hair, but he ALSO might be responding to the nickname by saying like, “Oh, okay, the hair is Objectively my best feature, okay.” Just a little bit of speculation!
I know this is a lot of my own personal opinions and speculation, but if you can get behind it, let’s keep going! If Steve is someone whose every belief about himself is a direct response to the words and feelings of those around him, if he places the opinions of others above his own feelings, it would logically follow that he might be easily emotionally manipulated.
So, let’s apply this lens to his friendship with Tommy!
Let’s run down the list. Steve cleans up after Tommy, making excuses for his shitty behavior, even wordlessly giving Carol his own food at lunch after Tommy ruined hers. He allows Tommy and Carol to have sex in his mom’s bed, and as indicated by their familiarity with the bedroom and knowledge of where the spare sheets are, this is a regular occurrence. He’s also always seen driving the two of them around.
Neither Tommy nor Carol is ever really seen doing anything kind for Steve. They tease his girlfriend, then later use his heartbreak as an excuse to graffiti some shit and make cruel jokes about Nancy and Jonathan. That’s just not the behavior of a couple hangers-on to the most popular kid in school! Neither of them ever even pretend to give a shit about Steve. It seems that Tommy and Carol were very comfortable using Steve for his big empty house and his nice car and his popularity at school because they’d been using him for years at that point, and they thought there was no way he’d ever ditch them.
I think it’s generally accepted among fans that Steve and Tommy have been close friends for years. Tommy’s familiar with Steve’s father’s infidelity, and is comfortable enough to joke and laugh about it with Steve. The two of them just... operate like people who’ve existed around each other for a long time. So, if we accept that Steve and Tommy have been friends for awhile, we can then accept three things: the two of them know each other very well, Tommy is used to having fun at Steve’s expense, and Steve is used to allowing it.
When Steve does finally stand up to Tommy and Carol, Tommy turns on him immediately. It’s an incredibly fast turn. He shoves Steve up against his car, physically threatens him, and proceeds to taunt him angrily even as he’s driving away. Specifically he yells, “That’s it, run away Stevie boy, run away! Just like you always do,” and continues to shout variations on this phrase even after Steve’s driven far enough that Tommy’s only yelling to himself. The fact that Tommy keeps shouting after Steve can’t hear him indicates that he is genuinely very upset by Steve’s standing up against him and Carol. His fury, however, as indicated by the speed with which he turned on Steve, seems to be less like that of one who feels betrayed by a friend and more like one angry at some perceived loss or threat.
Now, let me just state the obvious: that was a really weird thing for Tommy to be yelling!
There’s no real precedent at this point (or any time) in the show for Steve “running away,” unless you count him running from the cops, which... Tommy also did, and which also happened, like, ten minutes ago, which I don’t think would really qualify for the wording “like you always do.” Tommy also suddenly calls him “Stevie boy,” which (correct me if I’m wrong) nobody has called Steve thus far. Maybe he’s just trying to mock and belittle Steve in any way he can think of, but it’s just... weirdly specific. The whole thing is a bit of a non-sequitur.
But! Remember how we established that Steve and Tommy, by virtue of having been friends for a significant period of time, know each other pretty well? Remember how Tommy is knowledgeable about Steve’s father’s infidelity, so familiar that he’s comfortable joking about it? Keep that in mind.
This phrase that Tommy shouts at Steve only makes sense in the context of some offscreen information that we the viewer are not privy to, but which Tommy and Steve are. What might that information be? Nothing in the show indicates that Steve has a history of picking fights prior to the incident with Jonathan. He’s a fairly respectable suburban kid, what is Tommy accusing him of running from? It’s my opinion that the only logical answer is that Tommy’s referencing a specific event with Steve’s “asshole” father, or a specific phrase that Steve has perhaps often heard from his father. I’m gonna ask you to sit on this assumption for a minute, and I’ll come back and support it soon.
Okay, so that’s S1 out of the way. At this point, a few things are clear: Steve has issues with his dad. Tommy knows about those issues. Steve allowed himself to be used by Tommy and Carol for some indeterminate yet significant amount of time before finally snapping and dumping them completely, something which infuriates Tommy.
Tommy is also in S2! And... all he does is tell Steve that Nancy and Jonathan are skipping school together. He never actually interacts with Nancy or Jonathan; he shows up in S2 entirely to mock Steve, to use his deepest fears and insecurities against him.
First thing: in the S2 shower scene after basketball practice, Tommy makes it a point to shove Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship in Steve’s face. Billy doesn’t know Steve, so he attacks his basketball skills and his keg stand record, but Tommy? Tommy knows about Steve’s dad cheating on his mom, he was there for the S1 fistfight, he knows how monumental infidelity is to Steve, especially in the case of Nancy and Jonathan, and so that is what he chooses to torment Steve with, and it clearly strikes a nerve.
Now’s where I circle back to my assertion that Tommy was referencing/quoting Steve’s father while yelling at him back in S1. S2 makes it clear that Tommy knows Steve’s biggest insecurities, and he intentionally exploits them for his own purposes. This, combined with the way Tommy demonstrates intimate knowledge of Steve’s family situation and the fact that his words just don’t quite make sense in context, the fact that “Stevie boy” sounds like something a father may call his young son, makes me believe that at some point, Steve told Tommy about something his dad said that hurt him, and Tommy remembered that to use against him later.
This paragraph is just speculation on what Tommy might be referring to, so skip if you want, it’s entirely my own opinion. We know that Steve’s parents sleep in separate bedrooms and his father can’t be trusted not to cheat, and thus we might assume that they argue a lot. Maybe his parents get into lots of arguments, and whenever Steve chooses to remove himself from the situation, he’s accused of running away. Maybe Steve runs off whenever he gets in trouble with his father. There’s a lot of possibilities, but either way, “run away, Stevie boy, run away just like you always do” just... sounds too personal and specific to be something random and meaningless that Tommy came up with on the spot.
Now, in S2, Tommy also appears to have latched onto Billy rather quickly after Billy’s arrival in town. Coincidentally, Billy is kind of obsessed with Steve and taking him down, despite the fact that Steve never sought him out or challenged him in any way. Steve has been minding his own business! When they later end up in a fistfight, Billy says that he’s “been dying to meet this King Steve” that people have been telling him about, and I can’t help but think... who would make it their priority to talk to Billy about Steve Harrington? Like, new guy from California moves to my small Indiana town, I don’t want to tell him about some popular guy at school who’s gotten kinda lame and quiet lately, I want to ask him about himself, or tell him what we do for fun around here, right? So who might be incentivized to talk Steve up to a guy who’s clearly itching for a fight, a guy dying to prove that he’s top dog? Who did we see hanging out with Billy a couple of times?
Did you say Tommy? Because it’s Tommy! It certainly seems to me as though Tommy saw an opportunity in Billy. The opportunity to befriend someone with a certain social power (much like with Steve), but also the opportunity to torment or get back at Steve in some way. I think that Tommy intentionally inflated the character of “King Steve” to Billy in the hopes that Billy would pick a fight with Steve and Steve would get his ass kicked without Tommy having to get his hands dirty.
Which makes me wonder... what if Tommy played up that King Steve image to people besides Billy? Other kids at Hawkins High... or perhaps Steve himself. Remember how Steve internalizes things? Believes that he must be whatever others see in him? Yeah.
Let’s say you’re an asshole teenage boy who wants it all. You want to be popular. You want to have a spot to hang out with your girlfriend with no parents around. You want to feel strong and powerful. You meet a kid who could give you all of that, and all he wants in return is friendship. He doesn’t even seem to care if that friendship is genuine or not! All you have to do is hang around and make him feel like a cool kid. Convince him to throw a small party, you and your girlfriend get free reign of his nice big house. Make sure he knows that he’s got Prom King potential, that he’s the top dog, and you get to be one of the popular guys, too. It’s a pretty sweet deal if you can recognize the opportunity for what it is.
One last thing: Actual Steve is nothing like he seems around Tommy and Carol in the start of S1. Making friends with Dustin and coming up with a goofy handshake, singing to cheer Robin up in S3, singing into the bat to try and cheer Nancy up in S1, holding her hand during their first time, unabashedly telling her she’s beautiful and that he missed her even if only an hour had passed... Steve is a very emotional, dorky guy, and we never really got to see that side of him when he was around Tommy. I just find that interesting in light of the fact that Steve and Tommy seem to be otherwise rather close. Steve was clearly playing a part to some degree while around them, and in S3 he explicitly says that he behaved the way he did in high school because he was concerned about what others would think of him, about losing his popularity. Even prior to their argument, Steve was wary around Tommy, concerned about losing his friendship despite the fact that Tommy was a pretty objectively shitty friend.
So, here’s what we know. Tommy knows a lot about Steve, including his private family issues, and he isn’t above using that knowledge to hurt or manipulate Steve. In fact, he seems to be really good at it. Tommy benefitted from Steve’s popularity, from him throwing parties and living up to the “King Steve” image. Steve followed Tommy’s lead in their friendship, cleaned up after him, made excuses for him, and let him get away with just about anything. He masked aspects of his personality that didn’t fit the image that he and Tommy aimed for. He was desperate to retain Tommy’s friendship and afraid of letting the mask fall. Tommy was furious when Steve rejected him, taunted Steve with deeply personal jabs, and a year later he latched onto the new “top dog” in town with record speed. Steve is a completely different person when he’s around Tommy versus when he’s around Nancy, Robin, and the kids. Most importantly, we know that Steve has a tendency to construct himself in the image provided by others.
Taking all of this into account, I think that Tommy Hagan met sad, rich, handsome little Steve Harrington, saw just how lonely and desperate he was to feel a sense of belonging, and used that to nudge Steve into striving to be the person that Tommy wanted him to be: King Steve.
#steve harrington#stranger things#this is. so fucking ungodly long skdncdnm#but at least five of you asked for it!!!#if i don't get at least five notes on this ur all fucking fake and i don't wanna hear it#em talks#lesbianrobin.canon
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Stole the other wing, but what if Jekffin route + transmasc Jekyll? Hurt/comfort potential.
TW: talk of unintentional misgendering
What if the Lodgers start arguing about whether or not Jekyll Jr. is a she-cat or a tom, and they decide to just check? Jekyll is mortified, and it's made worse by them calling him 'little lady' and 'miss Jekyll'. Griffin is the only one who doesn't, barking about 'cats don't care what they're called', and comforts Jekyll in a private. Maybe part of his comfort/teasing is calling Jekyll 'his handsome tom cat' and other things?
Okay now for some fluff; what if after a while of dating Griffin, Jekyll suddenly tells everyone he has to leave for a family emergency that makes take, oh, let's sayyy three to four months? Don't ask him why specifically that amount of time, goodbye everyone. Jekyll Jr. is seen around the Society alot more, especially with Griffin and Griffin Jr. Everyone is curious as to why 'both Griffins' seem extra concerned about Jekyll Jr. lately, until right before Jekyll's scheduled return someone opens a closet and finds Jekyll Jr. and Griffin Jr. inside.
Oh, and a whole litter of kittens.
I imagine they'd both have to come clean about their shifter natures and relationship as soon as the kittens suddenly turned into human babies at random, but the idea of Jekyll and Griffin trying to wrangle a bunch of toddlers who can turn into kittens and get into even more mischief is a very cute thought to me. Just "Rose, NO, get off of that cabinet right this instant!! Hydrangrea, get away from my alcheny equipment, you'll hurt yourself!! Chrysanthemum, stop that, you'll shred the curtains!! Marigold–!! ..well, you're napping in a sunbeam, that's fine- ALLIUM JEKYLL-GRIFFIN, IF YOU TOUCH THAT WINE BOTTLE, SO HELP ME—"
Wait they're names put together spell C.H.A.R.M., that's so cute.. the charm squad.. they charm they're way out of mischief.. anytime they act grumpy like Griffin or sweet like Jekyll the Lodgers say 'you inherited your father's charm'...
Sidenote: I named them all after flowers so Jekyll can call them his flower patch because I like to headcanon that he really likes flowers and also it's cute. "Now where has my flower patch gone off to?" is said everytime the girls are hiding and it makes them giggle and he immediately finds them.
I'm just going to be honest with you for a second and admit that I'm often not entirely comfortable with transmasc/mpreg/general preg stuff but! I have to admit that this is absolutely adorable.
(Also just to clarify I am not shooting this idea down and I don't want you to feel bad I just wanted to put this out here real quick <3 Also. I was in the middle of my DND session when I got this ask so let me tell you quickly checking my inbox I was not prepared to read what I thought said "ALLEMINIUM JEKYLL GRIFFIN". That confused the shit out of me before I could actually sit down and read this XD)
Putting a read more link on this in case this makes anyone uncomfy btw <3
Ok but before I go into this now I'm getting very interested in the biology of this. And I guess this specific paragraph is going to be slightly NSFW if peeps want to skip that. But like... Would things work differently depending on how they did it? I'm assuming that Henry hasn't transitioned yet if he is still able to get preggo and his cat form is still biologically female, but would things work differently if they were like... Cats rather than humans? Would it be the same deal? Would it be a specific catshifter thing about having to be in cat form while bearing a litter? Would the kits be able to randomly turn into babies right away, or would they be stuck as kits for a while until they are... Say, actual functional toddlers both cat and human wise, or is it a coming of age/puberty thing? Is it just some magic hocus pocus that there is a specific thing that suddenly makes them human for a bit, or is it something that grows with them? Does the form they are born in determine what they predominantly are? Like if they are born as humans, would they be more human than cat, etc? Would the effects of the pregg stuff affect Henry's human form too, since he hasn't transitioned?
Ok i'm not going to get into this. I have had too much sexual biology this week in school already lol
BUT ANYWAYS.
I really do wonder how Jekyll would find out and even tell Griffin about this. They have been dating for what, a few months? And it's in those few months that they both have learned about the other being a catshifter and Griffin has learned about Jekyll being transmasc, I like the thought of them doing the do once thinking like "pfffft, what are the odds, right?". The odds were very high, apparently. Maybe Henry wouldn't even notice until he and Griffin are lounging in their cat forms and suddenly Griffin feels that something is... Strange with Henry. He is acting a little bit weirdly suddenly, his smell is new. Imagine the absolute panic. Or even better if one of the different zoologists starts noticing the changes with "miss Jekyll" and immediately are pointing fingers at Griffin Jr. and Hyde Jr. wondering which of those fuckers did this (which counters what you said with them not knowing until they find the litter but cat preggs are v hard to hide. Mfs look like they swallowed a football <3)
Also love the thought of Jekyll having peacefully sat up a lil nest inside some closet, a Lodger deciding that that particular closet has just been gathering dust for years so it's time to clean it out-- oh shit the cats are here-- OH SHIT A LITTER OF KITTENS IS HERE-- oh ahah nice Griffin Jr. is currently trying to bite my face off, nice.
I just... I love the imagination of Jekyll and Griffin having to explain all of this. Ahah yes we are both the love children of interspecies romance between humans and werecats or catshifters. We have also been dating for a few months, Jekyll was born a woman, and oh yes, we accidentally created four kids, whoops lol, shit happens.
(imagine the exasperation/shock/confusion of all the zoologists and Maijabi. The Zoologists bc of the... Well, biological facts and Maijabi bc his son-- WHAT THE HELL MAN YOU ARE A DOCTOR YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.)
would the kids grow like kittens? Like insanely fast? Takes a year or two suddenly the two-year-olds are as developed as seven-year-olds. Just... The chaos of everything. Also "the flower patch" is an adorable nickname and I love that <3
#Jeks I am so sorry if this answer is not satisfying but I tried my best </3#also once more; definitely do not mean to make you feel bad/regret sending this ask at all#Things like this often is just not my cup of tea but it's still v adorable to imagine <3#thejeksburyguy#ask#banshees au#catshifter au
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Chaotic Commentary: We Have Always Lived In The Castle
Welcome to my thought process when I watch movies!
The arrival of a cousin with ulterior motives threatens the claustrophobic and isolated world of two sisters and their uncle. (Oooof, bitch. I already know Sebastian is gonna look damn fine in this movie.)
Watched: April 22nd, 2021
Opening
Alrighty, right off the bat, the opening music giving me very much throwing it back at summer solstice 1531. Might fuck around and show some ankle, who knows
Um miss girl, first off all, i know damn well you aren't wearing a stark white shirt and capris shorts after labour day. And secondly, you gotta work on your self care babygirl, you are looking rough
Okay, so noted; there is clearly something off about this girl because i know when i personally rummage through family keepsakes, i don't have a hannibal look on my face
I don't know if you guys know this but your house...it needs a little 5 minute crafts, diy, extreme makeover: home edition treatment
Ohhhh baddie alert, baddie alert, baddie alert. That chick’s silhouette already got me acting up. Yes sink low to the ground girl, drop it down for me
Short monologue before being cut in half by that creepy ass stare, gotcha. I literally needed more nightmare fuel, thanks bestie
‘A change is coming, and nobody knows it’ how much more change can you get, your house is literally in shambles girl one battle at a time
First Act
Ah, here we are, title screen. Very cottagecore.
Timeskip: What did happen last tuesday, I must know...the suspense is suffocating
I’m not one to judge, but that record doesn’t sound like a life-coaching audio.
Oh heyyy there's a kitty!
Yes hun, that is a working tap, your telekinesis is redundant. Eleven from stranger things eat your heart out.
Alexandra! Babyyy Daddario! Step on my face or domesticate me into a housewife, i beg of you. The uncle tho, he isn't it.
Chill out Mary, you’re just running errands. Why is she walking in a slow-mo naruto run like that. She is giving me a schizophrenic Napoleon Dynamite vibes.
Wait...is her name Meerkat?
Oh, its Merricat...nah i like mine better lmaooo.
Her inner monologue is making cackle because it sounds like a Gabbie Hanna original piece 💀
Okay what i got from the coffee shop scene was Stella is also a grade A baddie, I want to commit double homicide on those two douches, and i want to invite miss meerkat to my lunch table because awwww. She's just different leave her alone.
Wow, the village folk really know how to talk shit huh? Well, I can eat rats like all of them for every meal of the day, plus snackie snacks. Go fuck yourselves, thoroughly.
God that family needs to smoke some weed or something. Why do I feel like the sisters are about to kiss...and the uncle sounds like he means risky business. Very bad vibes here, back to you in the studio.
Ooooh, miss daddy really knows how to roll her tongue huh? Again, very much cottagecore ‘history says they were just really good friends’ aesthetic. And so many bops in this movie, kinda feel the need to throw it back or do the renegade.
Why do I feel like this next scene is just a posh episode of gossip gorl. Sipping tea and spewing nonsense. Rum cake? No thanks, babygirl. Oh but here comes uncle wanky, whisking away Lucille with his talk of arsenic.
Yes. Speak 8 course meal to me daddy...fuck, now I’m hungry. Okay the uncle isn’t so bad I guess, very poetic and philosophical. Yes, very nice. Sucks that he was roofied and turned to a professor X cosplay for solace, though.
Timeskip: Last Thursday huh? We are in for a rollercoaster folks.
*she glares in rhubarb pie and possibly shelved jam*
OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING, I SAW THE SIDE/BACK OF HIS HEAD AND MY HEART STOPPED. He has a very nice shaped head, yes, pleasing to the eye.
Hi sirrrr, I have a pocket full of horses, trojan and some of them used. Pls let me ride you in the little red corvette. Pick me, Charles, choose me, love me.
Real talk, I feel so bad for Mary Katherine (I literally almost typed Gallagher at the end lmaooo thanks molly shannon) she is obviously struggling with something and Constance looks like she is very traumatized.
But I still think there’s something not right about Mary. Miss girl no one walks like that (thats a lie, it would probably be me after a night with Bucky barnes) and I love me a little witchy goodness. But not enough to start locking up my bedroom like it’s Area 51 and having secret rituals at my super exclusive, diy bohemian temple in the middle of the woods.
OH MY FUCKING GOD PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE FEELING I JUST FELT IN THIS ROOM ON THIS VERY DAY IN APRIL, MAMA FUCKING MIA
when he stood up—bitch I’m gone, I’m his whore now. Sorry, I am owned by this man. Bye I was literally launched off earth for a moment there, kinda chillin’ in dead space, standby.
Okay I took a break for a moment. I’m cool, I’m collected, play button is a go. NOPE, GIRL MY MOUTH IS FOREVER OPEN, AND I DUNNO IF I WAS MY BODY TELLING ME TO KNEEL IN FRONT OF HIM OR WHAT—SOMEONE HOLD ME
Current state: I am hugging my knees and wasting away under my blankets. I paused and played and paused and played because I cant go more than 2 seconds of looking at him.
Okay, I’m all good.
All I keep saying is no...no ...NO, louder and louder every time he opens his mouth, ‘got a hug for your cousin?’ um not a cousin but yes, right bitch for that job present for attendance. Here ✋🏻
Girl I’d run like the wind, too, this kitty isn’t gonna dry itself, nyuuuooom, double time! Fall in, Rogers. Gotta keep up. 🏃🏻♀️
Timeskip: Last Friday night, yeah we dance on table tops and we took too many shots, I think I gave Charles a blo-oh-job, whoops—
Ah, see I knew there was something fruity about Charles, hopefully he kisses a boy in this. Would love to see that.
Uh oh, the way he just pops that fruit into his mouth...I fine, I’m totally fine. Mentally I am... the way he chews if making my oral fixation quake
‘now that’s a handsome cat’ sir if you don’t—he wonders why he is such a fucking meme, this is why Sebastian.
‘Jonassss’ which one of the brothers, tho?
Ah yes, the best of friends; Meerkat, Frankie Jonas and a middle-aged Carter Baizen. Ugh mega sad that this is the closest I will get to see Charles pet a puthycat though.
Why don’t you slap my ass like a flapjack pancake, Charles. You won’t.
OMG so quirky 🤪when you steal his shirts 🥺🤪🥰
Who the is venice, Charles? Who, who, what are you, a fucking owl? WHO’S VENICE AND WHY IS SHE YOUR FAVOURITE?! sorry i had to get that out of my system, iconic cinema shall not be overlooked.
all this commentary is fresh from my chicken breast brain by the way
All i heard out of that little inspirational, facebook-esque speech at the dinner table was was shoes. Also peep Frédéric Chopin banging in the background noise, a little Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 to keep party goin’
Charles...that is your cousin.
It isn't a PHASE, Charles. Let him be emo over his dead brother and great tragedy of losing his legs then gaining the likeness of sir patrick stewart. Therefore, he will not forget.
Oh...i’ll sit down i guess.
I COULD LITERALLY—...I could literally watch him eat for the rest of my life pls sir have murthy
Grocery boy...hmmm reminds me of a yee ole jingle i heard in my youth. What can i say, I’m a connoisseur of the classics my friends.
Sidenote: I’m getting vietnam flashbacks to singing ‘carol of the bells’ at the elementary christmas concert. I am overstimulated. And not in a good way.
Charles...do not add that newspaper clipping of your cousin to your personal spank bank, pls.
Timeskip: Last weekend, alright. What did we do; brewski’s with the boys? Hockey night in canada? one legged race? I’m dying to know...
Very nice form charles, you’ve almost dug right through the wood. A real mans-man here if we are being honest. I’ve never in whole life seen a construction crew do better than Charles Blackwood.
I could watch him do this all day.
Pearl necklace huh? Me too, girl.
‘I’m beginning to think, that my spells no longer work’ 8-year-old me, sitting in a bath full of salt and a charm bracelet of rock candy dissolving in the water after my fifth attempt to transform into a mermaid
Aw, but i would sit out there and eat a sandwich with Meerkat. Hell yeah, we can go halfsies on a BLT no problem 😢
oh...
oh no...Charles.
Here is my first sexual grievance, the way he carried that sack over his shoulder, mmm yes i have been fed most wonderful nutrients. BUT NEXT?! THE TWO FINGERS LINE AND THE FUCKING MOTION HE DID AND SAYING SHE WASN’T GOING DEEP ENOUGH PLS
what is with this man and gold...alright debutante Lance Tucker simmer down.
And the ‘hot’ thing, ‘needing a bath’? miss daddy is working it in for her cousin real hard, sweet home alabama all summer long
HEY LET'S ALL GO SWIMMING IN MY POOOL, AND BY POOL I MEAN BATHTUB, AND BY SWIMMING I MEAN SEXXXX--
Oh, so there’s this ominous whistling, nice, a blade kink, cool, and Charles serving body audi audi audi audi all the damn day. Hi sirrrrr. God i just love his chest, man. Its just so buff. He looks this good for what? And in front of his cousin...ew? um child, anyways so
the way my stomach clenched in the most uncomfortable way just shows that my body doesn't care about my comfort when it comes to thirsting and simping. He didnt have to look at her like that or fucking back her out
oh to be a chair...
esteemed audience member sac is a little tired of hearing cousin charles and cousin mary call each other cousin charles and cousin mary
Charles, eat your fruit and shut the fuck up. But also, hi sirrr.
I see you, Constance, I see you...tig ol’ bitties 👀
Timeskip: It’s Monday without the benefit of a sebastian stan, full frontal nude scene...smh
baby, just give up on the step and go fondle some plants please, i’m begging, stop at once. or, i spoke too soon?
If i have to hear sebastian say constance one more time i am going suck down all the arsenic i can find...he just says it so weird lmaoooo i hate it
Climax (make it happen, Charles 🙄)
Aw i love fruity, coffee shop, car men AU’s
that shot of him looking over his shoulder single handedly sent to into a spiral...what the fuck are you doing to me, Charles.
uh oh...one of the car men is madddd
OH OKAY WELL, WELL, FUCK ME, WELL
why dont you just come up behind her and literally growl in her ear what the fuck, Charles. I swear sebastian plays his characters just to make women go feral sometimes.
Sir! Sir! This IS A WENDY’S, SIR, THAT’S YOUR COUSIN--
NOT THE MILK CARTON
PLEASE I’M LITERALLY KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING, WHY IS HE DRINKING IT LIKE THATTTTT
that little ‘aahh’ at the end when he drank it all got me, oh my fucking jesus. Hold on i need a minute, my stomach hurts from laughing my guts out.
Oooof but the eye-contact and the expressions are computing mega well to my chicken breast brain so fanfics will be written and sin will be committed so help me lord jesus on the cross almighty, amen (sorry i’m ex-catholic, its just my go-to)
pfffft that is so iconic, Mary is literally gathering sticks in the pitch black woods while Charles basically puts down his own wood for her sister to pick up on fjgrebgnuierijiojfd, i’m dying
why does he have to pull that poetic, sensitive stud act...just give us the goods charles, slap someone i’m begging you
This is like star wars all over again, they served head-on into on-coming incest traffic
*holds up finger guns* sir, ma’am i’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your heads and get down on your knees exactly 8.92 feet apart, this is a citizen’s arrest
but, i too would like to slow dance and make plans with him. Maybe we’ll go deep in the garden with two fingers on top of the rhubarb, maybe we will commit arson, who knows...
Meerkat continues to be my every mood, she really said:
Timeskip: Oh shit, its tuesday ya’ll, grab your party hats it’s about to get funky
Charles, if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop yelling out her name i will suffocate you between my thighs, electrocute your arm until it falls limp and shoot you with a grenade launcher, don’t make me do it
And yes, am i currently squirming in my seat because of the way he is smoking the pipe and hollowing his cheeks, what about it?
Second Act
Yes baby girl! you trash that room like ozzy osbourne and tommy lee did to that motel on tour in 1982. Go, Meerkat, go!
Charles holding those sticks in both hands is the equivalent to a 1-year-old holding those little cocktail weenies, it has the same energy and i’m dying over it
Try to tell me it's not the same picture:
You can't.
Oh shit, its getting heated now. Mary’s in trouble.
Everything isn’t making sense at the same time its all coming together, i am confused, frightened, a little bit horny, but mostly just entirly overwhelmed. Mom...can you come pick me up, i’m scared.
Oh my god! knew it! i knew i knew the actor that plays the uncle, he's the creepy thin man from charlie's angels! Wowza, what a world.
Oh no...i’m flashing back to vietnam again, the fucking bells dude i’m tellin’ ya. There is so much going on, i feel everything but nothing at the same time, help...
NOOOO HER ARTSY BOHEMIAN WITCH COTTAGECORE JARS! THE OUTRAGE! SHE CANT CAST SPELLS ANYMORE, HER POWERS ARE LOST!
a CURSH! NOT A CURSH!
What in the criss angel mindfreak is going on in here on this day? Who are they? And why is the broad such a bitch...oh is she the mom? My bad. Pops seems nice though. Yes, indeed.
Awh, hiii frankie jonasss. 🥰
Oh here we go with the eating again. If i have to see him flex his jaw one more time i’m gonna go feral. And on the usual, loud and obnoxious noises like the ones he is making when he takes a bite, or chew or swallow food/a drink like the who fucking milk debacle. But he just makes it okay? Maybe its just my eating disorder bias coming into play but how can someone be sexy while eating, or smug? Like huh???
‘Why dont you like me?’ WHY DO YOU CARE CHARLES, GODDAMN IT
Is he playing the sad boi card reallyyy? You want someone to say thank you? Put yourself to good use then. I can think of a lot of ways you can use that mouth better than going on these strange mini-monolgues like some tortured writer with a kink for control...and breatheee
And she’s back with the Eleven telekinesis, sweet kat that is a meer you have running water! Pfft she is actually dressed like eleven too, like what. Oh wait did i just uncover the plot?
Breaking News: Eleven holds a whole town hostage.
Jesus with Charles eating, Mary getting the sudden urge commit arson, miss daddy looking so fucking fine that i would literally throw myself in front of a bus just to get her attention, and uncle X with his weird theatre act: my blood pressure must be through the roof
Wow hes got a temper, but poor connie, shes a hot mess lmaooo
Oh god...oh god okay this is happening, oh wow, you didn't even get through dinner first charles jesus. Listen, i never give choking up on the first date but if i had the chance...i don't want any sausages other than his, i said what i said
and it keeps going?? ummmmmm i ummmmmm, i don’t have words. I was not warned of this savagery and i don’t know if i’m going to be able to write for anyone other than Charles for a whillllleeee, hun, apologies
Good to know he also uses his super soldier senses in another universe to sense a fire deep in his loins like the dramatic king he is
Now he is driving away and laying on the horn, nice
Oh ho ho, yessssss my coffee shop baddie, my black coffee queeeeeennn Stelllaaaaa. She said, Superhero mode real quick.
ummmm uncle x with the sick mustache...thats certain death? I mean if you are into that sort of thing, have at it.
Okay still driving, people are crying over the bed burning into dust, the heavily disable man is still smoking the good stuff...got it.
Big red truck go Honk, Honk.
Oh here come all the old, white men. Lovely.
‘oh-hooo yeah, thats a fireeeee’ as far as old white men go, that was pretty fucking funny to me
Yeah its gonna be in the arms of the angels real soon if you girls dont get the fuck out????
‘We’re firemen’ and i’m a homo, you want a gingerbread cookie or something? put out the damn fire PLEASE 💀
Ummm you’re too late, i was already wet before you got that camera spray shot, dawg, oh but that poor camera guy lol
AND WEI’RE GOONA LETIT BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN, everybody its a singalong
hi, yeah...fuck off, jim
NO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES YOU KNOCKED OVER STELLA MY COFFEE MAMA
charles, you greedy bastard i dont know if should be ashamed when i say that i would still let him top me quite violently even still
Wow this rave got out of hand really fast, i blame marilyn manson
another day, another professor X 😪🔫💀☠️🔥🔪 𝚛𝚒𝚙, 𝕗𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡
i swear to go if anything happens to either my coffee mama or baby miss daddy i will reign hellfire.
Oh so it takes a gunshot for Charles to do a 360 running man but not a jay gatsby meets canadian, hockey riot, emo rave. Gotcha. Hes a man with a code.
That’s what you get for hoeing after your cousin, constance. This is all your fault!
Ending
Timeskip: Ooohhh, yesturrrrdayyyy all my troubles seems so far away--
hunny that ain’t the moon, thats your super secret boho alter
Noooo the kitchennnn, that was my favourite room, other than the bathroom for obvious reasons, I hope the milk cartons are okay...👀
I guess meerkat isn't getting her num-nums, and charles is just going to have to live with charred fruit if he decides to come back
FRANKIE JONAS! THANK GOD!
Oohhere'ss the tea, it's about damn time! I called it! I knew ms variant mongoose was the one who did the fucky things! But i was shocked to find out that Mary was the favourite child over connie, hmm very much bad parenting
ooooh, knock knock, is it charlie-boy? oh, thats disappointing, its just that gossip chick and her husband, boooooo
Never again...never. We get it baby daddy.
oh? another knock? HAHAHAHAHA ITS THE FIRE GUY LMAOOO, what a king. He reminds me of stan lee!
What aare these people doing, they aren't goddess you give offerings to so that your crops will be plentiful, fuck off man. ANOTHER KNOCK..
and i opp-- herreeeees charlie!
‘friends’ sir you were halfway in her pantaloons, stop trying to act all innocent, the fuck. Wow hes really going for it huh?
did he just rip the chain off? Oh charles relax, its door, you don't need to moan like that.
Uhm, i love connie, so fuck you charles you twisted, manipulative burnt cornstalk of a human being. Oh yeah throw a hissy fit, that's real attractive, keep going, she’ll totally say yes.
Oh wait NO DON'T DO THAT, NO THAT'S A DOOR. And another door? NO GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY DADDY ALEXANDRA, SHES MINE.
YOU LITTLE BITCH BOY, GET OFF! WTF!
:O
*standing ovation* give it up for meer-to-the-kat, bravo kid! OH NO HES DEAd, YOU CAN STOP NOW
hahahaha guess whos deep in the garden now, Charles.
Ooh and we are back to start, nice. Children, she's a seasoned murder, might wanna chill on the whole bit you got going on.
Good, smile andddd scene!
Final Thoughts
Okie Dokie, I actually liked this movie a lot.
The acting was absolutely phenomenal, especially on Alexandra’s Daddario and Taissa Farmiga’s part, the characters were so well played. They focused in on so different points of view in this story that it captured the chaos that they were living individually and as a group under one roof. It constantly kept you on edge with the strange nuances in their dialogue, unnerving pauses and the progression of the condition of each character.
It was great. The aesthetic was there, the small but necessary breaks with dark humour really kept the story flowing and most of all, the fervour. It was everywhere, in their emotions or outbursts like Charles at the dinner table and on the stairs, or the way the townspeople kept adding fuel to their own personal hell. And I must admit, it's hard to make characters like Jim the firefighter relevant, but every person that this story involves has a distinct purpose and significance to the plot.
The only negative thing I could think of was I just wish there was more, I wanted it to be longer so that the small gaps in the movie could have been powerful. Okay, what else. Yes, Charles Blackwood, despite all of...that, will make a great character for me to touch on and has a lot of interesting qualities that I will be sure to tap into. Oh! And the only reason why no one else is getting the stan award was that my coffee mama was the only character who wasn't off the rails or just a terrible waste of human life! We stan!
Hoped you enjoyed this and my questionable thought process, I’m gonna go now...bye lol
Overall Score: 8.5/10
🏆 Honorary Stan Award: Stella Ella Ola, Clap Clap Clap. Periodt.
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Oh could u do Prue/Micah? S4
okay okay okay so we're doing all hallow's eve in early s3 micah's reincarnation does Not show up at the end of the episode because we're saving him for something bigger. but we'll say that something on a later vanquish a physical item triggers something in prue she's like hey does that remind you of anything?? and piper and phoebe are like ??? no? it's just a(n) [item]? and prue's like really? nothing? and they're like idk what does it remind you of and she's like i don't know... the past? samhain, maybe? do you think it's one of our ancestor's? and piper and phoebe are like prue i don't know can we get out of here??? and she's like yeah yeah but she takes it with her and like. uses her auction house knowledge to like correctly id it back to the time they were in salem (or not maybe idk but if it is from the past she realizes that a) either it was something micah owned or b) it was the knife that killed him. if it's neither of those than it's modern and she can't figure out what about it is calling to her). the plot is kind of dropped. then, we enter s4, the battle with the source is on the horizon cole is. we'll say still on their side, successful relationship with phoebe. cole is the first one to pitch going on the offensive, which prue is first to back, then phoebe, and begrudgingly piper. leo's still not a fan but phoebe gets a premonition of something something darklighter so let's stamp that out before it begins. so they shimmer down with cole to the underworld leo doesn't go with them bc well. a) he can't sense as well down there so he won't really be able to find them if they get separated which leads to b) of they're separated the girls have no way out of hell and as a sidenote c) he's a whitelighter. so if the darklighters get him they Also have no way out of hell. so leo stays topside and cole's their ride. something something something they're closing in on where the clan lives or maybe their weapons forge and there's a darklighter just outside piper blow him up no wait and prue like Jumps in front of her and piper quickly deflects and hits the cavern wall next to them and wants to yell what the hell prue but it's too late because all hell breaks loose the darklighters were there waiting for them the seer foresaw this so they all duck for cover prue throws a couple phoebe karate chops cole energy balls piper blows up em and will occasionally freeze the cavern for a couple seconds but she still doesn't have a hold on her powers, but phoebe while fighting one of them gets a premonition: leo, shot. and over the din she's like it's a diversion, they're gonna kill leo like we have to get to leo but they're all hella spread apart right now so in one of piper's freezes cole gets to phoebe and another the pair get to piper but prue's still to far away she redirects an arrow that nearly hits phoebe in the hed she's like there's no time go!! and they're like no!! but prue just squints at cole and cole understands and shimmers them out of there and we'll say the guy who she initially dove in front of was knocked out by like rocks from piper's blast well he's coming to and see's prue fighting for her life and like. you know just starts to stir and prue spares a glance at him and he recognizes her just like he did in puritan times and he's like ...you saved me and prue looks at him and again connection but she can't find the words to say because she has to get right back to kicking ass, we'll say an arrow flies right past her face like through her hair she ducks down again like can you get us out of here? and he just like barely sits up head cradled in one hand, he's bleeding, but he just nods and places his other on prue's shoulder and black orbs them out and now they're in like a loft in san francisco prue still in fight mode and micah still bleeding from a head wound and he just kind of collapses on the ground and prue's like !!! oh shit.
back @ the manor leo's just been shot and piper's running over like help me get him to the attic i'll swap our powers you guys get out of the house so you're not affected go get prue and leo's like ??? go get her and cole's like she's still with the darklighters and leo's like no she's topside she's in the city and they're all like how??? and piper's like who gives a shit how help me get him to the attic then give me some space so phoebe and cole wait in the outside lil backyard type thing they have maybe we get a phole scene piper swaps powers and heals leo but he's still weak and piper hear's prue's call and leo's like go i'm still too weak to heal and piper's i'm not leaving you not while they're out there and leo's like hey don't worry you're still with me right ad blows up idk a lamp and piper just kind of smiles like okay but if you're gonna blow anything else up try to hit that vase because i've always hated it
piper goes downstairs gets phoebe and cole like okay let's go get prue and she orbs them all out into this loft where prue has got this guy slumped over his table pressing a damp towel to his head but jesus that's a lot of blood and she's like leo thank g- where's leo and piper's like he's resting he was shot so i had to tap in. and prue's like you can heal? and piper's like uh huh and prue's like okay great heal him and piper moves forward and then stops because prue is that the darklighter? and prue's like yes but you don't understand and piper's like what part of healing a Darklighter don't i understand prue when they Just tried to kill my husband now you're trying to save him and prue's like come on doesn't he look familiar to you and piper's looking at him like ew bc she can hardly see past the bloodcovered face but phoebe wanders forward and cole instinctively tries to hold her back bc Evil but she just kind of shakes him off bc she knows what she's doing and cole relents and she puts a hand up to his shoulder and she's like it is him. and prue's lookin like exactly! and piper's like who??? and prue's like micah and he stirs at the sound of his own name and piper's like Who??? and prue's like don't you remember he saved our necks--literally--multiple times; he died for us and it's clicking piper's like In Puritan Times??? and cole kinda blanches bc he Might have killed that guy i can't remember and prue's like piper for the amount of times he's saved us, please, just heal him and piper's like you get that that was centuries ago right? a lot changes in a couple hundred years; he's a darklighter now and prue's like piper. please. and piper relents bc what can she say she trusts prue. and micah comes to and sees cole and stumbles back like hits the ground again and prue's like no no it's okay and he looks at her and it's like we can see his world fade around him and just focus on prue and his hand flies up to his head and finds no blood and prue's like it's okay, you're healed and micah's like so that'd be the second time you've saved my neck today? and prue's like consider it returning the favor and piper's like okay well I'm breaking up the balcony scene this time how did the darklighters know we were coming? and micah's like this woman. she visited us and said you were coming, you were leaving your whitelighter vulnerable... and they're like what woman and cole's like the seer. and micah just nods and he's like i've read about you, you know, what you've done, i was hoping i could get away to warn you before... and piper's like Why. Why would you betray your own people and micah's like because i can see what dark magic can do... and it can't be undone [to later be revealed tragic backstory!! micah was raised by his mother topside or maybe his father and we get a complex darklighter situation with his mom potentially even having her defect but no matter when micah was like. idk twelve or something?? there was this bully in school and we're trying to stay with charmed morality and justify this so we'll say this kid was like serial killer bad killed puppies for fun type bad and he was a bully and micah was standing up to him #feminism when they got into a fight and micah was losing like Really losing like about to be beat to death at age twelve losing when his hand started glowing red and he shoved it against the bully and next the you know that kid was fucking dead. micah had killed a guy before he had even gone through puberty. oof. anyways top ten defining moments tried existing on the dl but has also killed a couple other people and we'll keep them Bad murderers and rapists but it's still like you end up in a bar fight and then the next thing you know that guy is dead and it doesn't matter what a cunt he was it doesn't matter than you didn't mean to do it you just have a power you don't know how to control no all that matters is you're getting manslaughter at best unless you go with this man who claims to be your uncle who can teleport like you who has the same deathtouch who can teach you to control your power].
blah blah blah plot progression all that prue and micah fall in love relatively quickly because they can feel that tug in their souls (SIDE TANGENT: i've already said before i like wyatt as a reincarnation of melinda warren but what if prue was Also a reincarnation of melinda warren, ipso facto wyatt is also prue reincarnated retconning why they can't summon her spirit. 👀?) but but BUT the seer foresaw this she new micah would turn to the side of good so she planted something that blew up in a metaphorical sense so now they don't know if they can trust micah prue wants to trust him but she doesn't want to put her family in danger if he really is in league with the source phoebe is advocating for her to follow her heart and piper is Hard No against micah like even before like she really didn't want him around before this bomb dropped even more so now and prue's like okay what's your beef and piper's like he's not safe to have around prue he's a damn darklighter and prue's like you know you keep like using that against him leo doesn't even care why are you so hung up on this and piper's like leo's safety isn't the only one at risk here!! and prue's like what you have some secret whitelighter you haven't told us about?? and piper is just silent and stubborn and prue's still in fight stance until it clicks and she's like piper... and piper's like still not talking and prue's like piper,,, are you pregnant? and piper's like no you know what i shouldn't even have said anything forget you even heard anything and prue's like ???? piper this is great news why why didn't you tell us and tries to hug her and piper just ducks away and prue's like heart is breaking watching her like this because piper's like really maternal she'd be a great mom so why isn't she happy and piper just looks at prue like : ( i didn't tell you because this isn't the first time this has happened. and prue's like ??? and piper's like towards the end of s3,,, i thought i was. well, no. i was pregnant. and, um. i was scared, because of all the demon fighting and everything, but i was excited prue i was so excited to be a mom and then a couple weeks later,,, and gets all choked up and prue just pulls her into a really big hug like sweetie why didn't you tell us and piper's just crying like i don't know we already have so much with the source and with the fighting every day,, i didn't want you guys to feel like i did, you're already going through so much and prue's like honey You're Going Through So Much and just know we're always here for you forget the source and his sorry ass forget the seer nothing's more important that you okay nothing's more important and piper's just okay okay : ((((.
so anyways we vanquish the source for the midseason finale but now we have the seer the real mastermind as the s4b villain and she's got her eyes set on a great prized: a prophesied baby. in one episode prue and micah get knocked back into a past life regression where they keep slipping back further and further in time and they keep finding each other in each life but they need to get out of here and piper leo phoebe cole are on the outside trying to get them out because if they reach their first life their life where their soul was new and slip back further, there's no way to bring them back after that we're not killing prue lol but what that really does is just cements prue and micah's place together like In Every Life they had each other in one form or another they were always destined to find each other....... fin <3
#charmed#prue x micah#it's funny bc i could have sworn i did darklighter micah before i just couldn't find the post anywhere so maybe i did Not#prue halliwell#piper halliwell#micah#margaretsminiessays#💌
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