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#also my legs hurt but I did a dance thing for like two hours last night which included running so yeah
you-call-it-a-dude · 2 months
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Call It What You Want Pt. 4
Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.5
Summary: You accidentally tell Regina that you love her
Pairings: Regina George x Gender Neutral/Fem Reader
Warnings: swearing, emotions, underage drinking, very slight smut warning
Notes: Hi! Okay, so about this chapter. I think it's best described as a filler chapter than anything. It's cute, it's playful, a little sexy, also has some like arguing and what not BUT I needed this chapter to happen so I can like get this story to where I want it. Hopefully you still enjoy the chapter.
Also, potentially thinking of writing for Leighton Murray and also have been toying with the notion of taking requests? I've never done the requests thing and I kinda want to? So idk if you have any Regina or Leighton requests send them my way and I'll give it a go??? And hopefully it like works out lol
Sorry for the long A/N. Thank you all for reading the story and for any feedback that's been given. I'm just really glad folks are enjoying it
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"What time do you need to start getting ready?" You traced your fingertips up and down the side of her body. She hummed at the feeling of your fingers dancing across her naked skin, pushing her butt into your pelvis. "What?" You laughed quietly through your nose, your hand resting on her bare hip now to pull her into you.
"You know what." She grabbed your hand and pulled it lower, your fingers finding her wetness that had been building up over the last hour.
"I thought you said you were done?" You pushed yourself closer to her, pulling one of her legs over yours. You pressed soft kisses to her shoulder while your fingertip teased her clit.
She moaned, her head leaning back and her hair falling into your face. Her hips were moving, doing their best to seek out more contact.
"I was, but now I'm not." She reached back and her hand tangled in your hair, giving it a slight tug. It was the only thing she can mange right now to pull you closer. She turned her head and her lips found yours.
This kiss was messy and sloppy, but everything about the way Regina was pulling your hair and moaning your name into your mouth was absolutely doing it for you. She moved her hips in frantic circles, doing her best attempt to chase her orgasm. You sped your movements up, rubbing tight circles against her clit and when her thighs started to shake you knew she was close again.
You kissed her sweat soaked skin and talked her through it. Telling her how beautiful she looked like this, how much you enjoyed hearing her moan, how good she was for you. Your wrist was starting to hurt and she was about to rip a clump of hair out of your head, but you could not give a single fuck.
Her legs snapped shut within two seconds of finishing her orgasm and when her hand came flying down to pull you away, you knew she was officially done done this time.
You removed your hand and rested it on her hip. She was breathing heavily, doing her best to catch her breath. Her hand in your hair was rubbing your scalp softly now.
You kissed her shoulder, the hand on her hip drawing soothing patterns with your fingertips.
It was a mixture of things, honestly, that made you say it. How peaceful this moment was, the smell of her sweat and natural scent, the way her body fit with yours so perfectly and how she wanted to just be as close to you as you wanted to be to her.
This wasn't your first time sleeping together by any means, but something about this time just felt overwhelming. The words flew out of your mouth before you could stop it. It was mixed in with a slew of other compliments you were giving her while you pressed kisses against her. That she was so perfect, so beautiful, and so mesmerizing.
"I love you." You whispered against her skin and she froze. She fucking froze. You all but slammed your forehead into her shoulder blade. You gave her a time to say something, anything really, but it never came. Your breathing quickened with every silent second that went by. "Did I fuck up?" You asked her with your head still pressed against her shoulder blade.
"I don't know." She said in slight disbelief. "I don't fucking know." She mumbled quietly under her breath. She sat up, holding her blanket to her chest. "I-um, I need to clean up and get ready for my game." She was staring straight ahead. You couldn't read her tone of voice or the look on her face. You couldn't tell if you fucked up and how badly you did it.
"Right, yeah, of course." You slid out of bed and put your clothes back on, picking your phone and keys up off the floor where they fell earlier. You made your way to her door and opened it, lingering in her doorway for a second before turning to face her. "We can just forget I said it. I didn't mean it." You said on the verge of sounding desperate.
She nodded, still not making direct eye contact with you. You closed the door behind you and rushed into your room, praying that Ren was home.
"Heyyyy, roomie." They said from their bed where they were watching TV from. "I would ask you if you had fun, but it sounded like you did." They teased, then turned serious when they saw your face. "What happened, Y/N?" They sat up straight in their bed.
"I, uh, I told Regina I loved her." You nodded, sounding a little dazed.
"That's great! I've seen how she looks at you. I think you two are cute together an-"
"She didn't say it back." You interrupted. "But I don't know, I know she like struggles with being out and stuff. I should've just kept my fucking mouth shut! Three months was not enough time for me to be saying that shit. I was just in the moment. I told her to forget it, but she didn't say anything. Fuck! So fucking stupid!" You were rambling at this point and Ren was gracious enough to just let you.
"Do you feel better? Now that that's out of your system?"
"A little, yeah."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"Maybe just give her space for now? She has a game in a little bit and I don't really want to fuck that up for her. Then she has some team bonding event after. So I probably won't hear from her until tomorrow. If she even talks to me again."
"Oof, okay. That's rough."
You just shrugged, emptying your pockets. You changed into sweatpants and into the grey long sleeve Regina had lent you the night you slept over at her house that she so kindly let you keep in exchange for one of your tattoo convention t-shirts.
"I'm gonna do what any logical person would do in this situation and hopefully sleep through it." You washed your hands at your sink and grabbed a snack from your snack cabinet. You took your phone from your desk and crawled into your bed, facing the wall.
"Is the volume okay?" They asked, pressing play on the TV.
"All good." You held a thumbs up for them and shut your eyes.
---
"Ren," You called out when you opened your eyes. "how long has it been?" You were too scared to check your phone. You didn't know if seeing something or seeing nothing would be worse.
"Just two hours."
"Damnit." You mumbled into your pillow. Her game probably just started about twenty minutes ago.
You bit the bullet and checked your phone. No text messages, but you did have a Snapchat notification from her from an hour ago. She also posted on her story though so you weren't holding your breath. You checked her story first and it was just a photo of the field.
You clicked on her thread next, seeing what she sent you. The first photo was the same photo of the field. You clicked past it in annoyance only to find out she sent you another photo.
It was just a selfie of her. You could tell she was on the field, either waiting for the game to start or to be put in because you could see the collar of her jersey in her photo. Her hair was still down so that definitely made you think the game hadn't started yet when she sent the photo. She had the sun in her eyes and judging by the attitude on her face she was unhappy about something.
Most likely unhappy with you, but that didn't stop you from taking a screenshot of the photo. You took a photo of whatever your front camera opened to, which was just your wall, part of your bed, and a little bit of your arm. You wished her luck on her game today and sent it.
She opened it within seconds and she started typing. You waited for the notification to come through and as soon as it did you clicked it open.
'Cute shirt.'
You shook your head and smiled. She would comment on that little sliver of her shirt that was showing. You were in the middle of typing a flirty message when another message from her came through.
'Kinda miss it tbh.'
You bit your top lip and nodded. Because now she was being an asshole and she was doing it on purpose. You deleted your cute, flirty text immediately and typed out a new one.
'Got it. I'll fucking mail it to you.'
You sent it without overthinking it. You knew if you let it linger too long you would regret it.
She opened it, going back and forth between typing and not. After a few minutes, it was very apparent you've been left on read.
Did you cry a little? Possibly, yeah. The thought of having ruined things with Regina was sitting at the forefront of your brain right now and you couldn't think of anything else.
She was also being petty with that stupid shirt comment and it pissed you the fuck off. Like pissed you off enough to the point where you got up and changed out of the fucking thing.
It's very possible you are just as dramatic and petty as she is.
Ren was very sweet and made you Ramen noodles for dinner. They always add extra stuff to it to somehow make it taste even better and those noodles were probably the only good thing to happen to you today.
You ate your dinner and monitored the twitter account of the girls' soccer team. They were winning and Regina had even scored them a point. So you were glad to see the events from earlier in the day hadn't affected her too much.
You finished your dinner and went to the bathroom before crawling back into your bed. It was pretty early, only like 9pm now, but you debated heavily on taking your meds early and just going to sleep.
That almost seemed too easy so why the fuck would you want that??
Instead, you stayed awake to see Regina be very much active on her instagram while she was out with her team after the game. Sharing photos and videos of the shenanigans they were all getting up to at the arcade place they went to that had a bar, bowling alley, karaoke rooms, and a bunch of other shit that seemed like a drunk person's paradise.
The progression of her vibe change throughout the night was becoming very visible as it got closer to midnight. She started off strong, smiling and flipping off the camera. Then came a string of photos of her posing with different alcohols, wearing different silly hats, holding a karaoke mic, posing with her teammates and laughing. Then there was a cluster of photos that were mirror selfies taken in the bathroom. She had someone's sunglasses on and her smile was just absolutely gone, middle fingers very much still making an appearance. The last photo she posted about fifteen minutes ago was her holding a quesadilla and she had tears in her eyes and it looked like if she wasn't already crying, then she was about to start.
So clearly, the night was starting to wind down.
---
There was a loud knock at your door around 3am that startled both you and Ren awake.
"Y/N, open the fucking door!"
"Sounds like she's had enough space." Ren remarked, throwing themself back into their sleeping position.
You got out of bed and stumbled your way to the door in the dark. You opened the door to see Regina standing there in her pajamas. Her eyes were blood shot and her cheeks were red and raw, both most likely from crying.
"You took off my shirt." Her bottom lip started to quiver and whatever attitude she was attempting to come in here with was dissipating quickly. You just shrugged, not really sure how to acknowledge that. "Can we talk?"
"Fine. I'll be right over." You turned around and grabbed your things. You locked your door and slipped into Regina's room and closed her door behind you. "What?"
"You didn't fuck up. You didn't fuck anything up." She sat at the edge of her bed and started swiping away her tears. "I'm just fucked up."
You kneeled down in front of her, taking her hands in yours.
"I promise you you're not." You kissed her hands. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry."
"No, shut up." She shoved your head away lightly and both of you laughed. "I just freaked out." She sniffled and then rubbed her nose.
"I didn't mean to freak you out. I won't say it again. It's also totally okay if you don't feel the same way." You reassured.
"I think I freaked out because I do."
"Oh?"
"Mhmm." She nodded. Her index finger hooked under your chin and she tilted your head up so you were looking at her. "Say it again." She whispered, her eyes bouncing between your eyes and your lips.
"Well, now I'm put on the spot." You teased, leaning in slightly. If you were being honest, you were just hesitant to say it first again because what if it still made her freak out?
"God fucking forbid I put you on the spot." She joked, grabbing your face with her hands. "I love you, Y/N. I really fucking do."
She looked and sounded very serious. You still searched her face for any sign of deception though, but there wasn't a single trace of it. You pulled her hands from your face and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
"I love you, too." You nudged your nose against hers and kissed her lips one more time.
"Fuck you though with that 'I'll fucking mail it to you' bullshit." She crossed her arms, leaning away from you slightly. You laughed, standing up and cracking your back.
"I didn't even get a response, I left you so speechless with it." You teased, nudging her shoulders teasingly and egging her on.
"It pissed me the fuck off." She caught your hands, lacing her your fingers together.
"Well, don't say shit you don't mean and piss me off first. Then I won't have to say anything back." You got out of her grip, giving her the middle finger and sticking your tongue out. You yelped, swatting away her playful slaps that now had you both laughing.
"Ugh, you get on my nerves." She rolled her eyes, but you could see her biting the inside of cheek so she wouldn't smile.
"Yeah, but apparently you loooooove me."
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nattyscuddlycabin · 8 months
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Sparks Fly
Natasha Romanoff x f!Reader
Warnings: red room ways of raising girls, bad coping mechanisms, mission gone wrong, deaths of people (not major characters), language, mentions of blood, gauze, and wrap
Genre: Angst + Fluff ending
Summary: Natasha’s mission failed, leading to civilian deaths, and she ends up coping in a way she was thought by the Red Room.
A/N: Reader is Bulgarian in this because I am lazy and I don’t feel like dealing with google translate right now, so I just used my home language cuz it’s also slavic, ok? Ok!
Translations:
Bulgarian:
любов моя - my love
мое златно сърце- my golden heart
Russian:
Детка-baby
(メ﹏メ)
The mission was for the team to rescue the Hydra “experiments” then blow up the base. However, the outcome of the mission ended up being a blown up base with just two or three experimented on kids being saved. It was all a miscommunication, but Natasha blamed herself for it. She thought that she should have been able to help fix the chaos and save the rest of the kids, but there they were, back at the tower, filling it with thick melancholy in the air.
Y/N tried to soothe Natasha and help her not think of it all as her fault. She wasn’t at the mission, but she knew that Nat wasn’t fully at fault and that Nat did everything in her power to get the mission to go right. Natasha Romanova may seem cold but she always does her best to save everybody.
Finally, Nat just told Y/N that she wants some alone time to process things. Y/N wasn’t sure that it was best for Nat to be alone at such a time, but she let her have her personal time.
Hours later, Y/N was concerned that she had still not heard anything from Nat, so she went into her room, only to find no one there.
“Jarvis, where’s Tasha?” You ask worriedly.
“Miss Romanova has left the tower. She appears to be in a ballet studio Downtown.”
“Oh shit… how long ago did she leave?”
“Miss Romanova left the tower at 1 pm today.”
“Jarvis, send me the location of the ballet studio.”
“Yes, Miss Y/L/N. It has been sent.”
You look down at your phone, putting on navigation to the studio, and run off to the elevator.
After a few minutes, you park in front of a studio with blurred windows, but you only see one person inside.
Running off to the door, you walk in slowly, knowing you probably startled the redhead inside. She looks at you for a second before hiding her face away from you and continuing her “practice.”
“Hey baby, I need you to pause, okay?”
She just quietly continues dancing to the music of the silence in the room.
“Nat. I’m serious.”
She ignores you again.
“Natalia, stop,” you say in a low, stern voice.
She stops, slowly lowering her arms and leg from the position she’d been in, still refusing to face you. She lowers to the ground, rolling up in a ball and hiding her face in her legs.
You walk over to her, sitting down next to her. You hug her.
You speak, softer than before“Baby, you have been dancing for…” You check your phone, seeing the time being 5:04, “four hours now. You are hurting yourself. You don’t deserve to be punished, sweetheart. You aren’t there anymore. I’m here, okay?”
A quiet sob escapes her lips as she whispers, “I killed them…”
“No, you didn’t. You have never killed anybody on purpose, любов моя.”
She just keeps crying quietly for a bit.
You softly caress her foot and ask, “can I take them off?”
“Mhm” she mumbles out, sniffling quietly.
You slowly untie the ballet shoes, sliding them off her feet. Noticing how bloody her feet have gotten under her ballet shoes, you sigh in concern and open your little bag you carry around, finding the gauze and wrap, putting on the gauze on the worst places, and wrapping it up to secure it in place before softly massaging each foot, enough to make her feel a bit more relaxed, but not too much, careful not to hurt her.
“Baby, can you look at me, please?” You ask in a whisper.
She looks up, her reddened face wet from tears. You move your hand calmly up to her cheek, brushing away the last tear prickling down her beautiful face, and giving her a loving smile.
“I will always love you,” you whisper.
She looks at your eyes and smiles slightly, whispering back, “I love you too.”
You get up, reaching for her hand as you pull her up, hugging her. As you are hugging, you slowly start moving side to side, as she rests her head on your chest.
“Drop everything now…” you begin singing slowly, slower than the tempo of the actual song.
“Meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain, ‘cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile,” you twirl her and continue dancing while looking at each other, “get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down, give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around,” you boop her nose and she giggles, “cause I see sparks fly whenever you… smile,” you smile as you see her already smiling at you.
“Okay let’s go home now, okay? We don’t need your feet hurting even more. I love you, мое златно сърце.”
“I love you too, детка.”
(¯ ³¯)♡
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hee0soo · 1 year
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Lobby Savior
Hongjoong x ATINY!Reader (female)
Summary: Going to see Ateez in concert was something you dreamed of and now that the concert is over, you only have to get back to the hotel. Too bad that you´re a young woman, alone, in a city you don´t know, at night!
Disclaimer: my delulu brain wanted me to write this and while this isn´t something i ususally do, i am a bit proud of it!
TW: Kidnapping and abduction
Y/c- your city
Y/n –your name
Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Also posted on AO3
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Leaving the venue with all the other Atiny´s was kind of overwhelming! Not just because everyone was leaving at the same time and there wasn´t a lot of space to walk, but because the sadness of the concert being over started to creep up on you!
Only that you wouldn´t leave immediately, you still had the privilege of meeting the boys through the hi touch before leaving!
It had been 2 hours of screaming, singing along, dancing and cheering and it was worth all the money you had spent on this trip to (y/c)!
But now your legs were hurting and especially your knees and feet were aching!
Why you had decided to wear shoes with even the slightest bit of heel attached to them, was beyond you!
Scratch that, you knew why you wore them! It was because they had fit with the outfit chosen and you felt cute in them!
But it did not calm the stinging pain that was now bothering you.
It did not stop you however from hurrying through the crowd to the next visible staff member to ask where you had to go to at least wave at your idols!
They showed you the direction and after some very confusing 15 minutes of searching, you finally found your way.
Almost tripping over your own two feet, you waved excitedly at them. They looked exhausted and you hoped that they could go back to the hotel and rest soon.
You also felt tired and seeing them one last time before leaving gave you a much needed energy boost before the moment was over again
Now the only thing left to do for this evening was getting back to the hotel and get some much needed sleep!
The bus and train connection had already been saved on your phone and you quickly bought a ticket before making your way to the bus station near the venue.
There were still a lot of Atiny’s around so you felt comfortable being alone on the bus, but the longer the drive was, the more people got of it!
You only had one more stop until you had to take the train and half of people had already gotten off on previous stations!
The bus stopped and you quickly went outside. Having to hurry up since the train wouldn´t wait for you, your steps quickened.
It was almost midnight and you were in a city you didn´t know anyone in, which made you shiver. The cold of the night not really helping you situation!
Getting on the train was easy. Not a lot of people were on so you sat down in a seat close to the doors.
The ride took about ten minutes so you let your mind wander a bit.
What were the boys doing right now? Did they finally go back to their hotel? Had they finally the chance to rest or were they still at the venue?
The question was answered when you got a notification on your phone from YouTube.
Seonghwa had started a Live and it looked weirdly familiar! The realization hit you like lightning. The room looked like you own hotel room. The bed, the décor and even the painting on the wall was matching with the décor in your own room!
They had probably been driven back by car which explained why they were already back before you!
You weren´t planning on actually doing anything with the information! They deserved their privacy and you weren´t going to impose on that like that one girl did to Jongho in Berlin!
Finally the stop you wanted was announced!
Quickly getting of you made your way to the hotel. It was only a short walk but after half of it you started feeling like someone had followed you.
Looking behind you, the feeling turned into reality when there was a dark figure walking a few meters behind you.
They had a dark hoodie on. Hood thrown over their head and hands buried in the pockets!
You could already see the hotel in the distance and started walking even faster than before while hugging yourself tightly! Hoping it would hide you a bit from the figure!
It didn´t work! The person also started walking faster!
As you reached the hotel, you were sure the person let up but no1 he followed you inside. There was no one in sight when you came into the lobby! Only one person was in on e of the corners further away. He had his laptop spread out in front of him with a mask on and hat on his head. Bright brown strands of hair was peeking out from underneath.
He looked up when he heard footsteps. You could swear that he seemed familiar, even hidden underneath the mask and hat but you didn´t think about it anymore when the person stepped a little to close behind you and laid his hand on your shoulder!
Goosebumps spread on your entire body and horror made itself visible on your face.
The guy with the laptop realized something was very wrong about the situation and sprang into action.
“Jagi-ya! There you are! I was waiting waiting. For you!” he called with an accent underlining his words., quickly coming over.
The figure had realized that you weren´t alone! Vanishing thought the door, the way you came in.
Still coming over to you, the guy stepped in front of you but out of instinct you flinched away!
Realizing that you were scared, he removed the mask so you could see his face.
Behind the mask was Hongjoong. Gone was the makeup he was wearing for the concert, leaving only his bare face but just as handsome!
His kind eyes looked worried and he scanned you for any visible injuries.
He noticed the merch you were still wearing, giving away where you have been only an hour ago!
“Are you, okay?!” he paused a bit before taking you hand in his and led you to the table where he was working up until now, making you sit and breathe deeply.
You were shacking, adrenaline leaving your body only slowly.
Not being able to say much, you just nodded before shaking your head.
Hongjoong took the water he had taken with him and made you drink from it. He had yet to drink from it so he wasn´t worried about germs or anything.
“It´s ,okay. You are, save now!” he spoke and sat down in front of you.
You two sat in silence for a while before you found the energy to say something.
“I didn´t follow you here… I didn´t even know you were in this hotel now!”
The ATEEZ leader had to laugh at that. Seeing the way you had ran in and flinched away from him at first, he was sure you had other sing in mind then meeting him after what happened!
“I believe you.”
He had to smile. It was cute how you tried to look away from him and the laptop.
“I was just. Working. I like helping Atiny when they need. Help!”
“Why are you working down here where everyone could see you?”
Hongjoong shrugged.
“Seonghwa. LIVEu and other member, loud!”
That one made you laugh again. THAT was something you believed without questioning.
“You like concert?”
Nodding you finally made eye contact with him.
“It was amazing. YOU were amazing!”
The boy blushed at the compliment. Atiny´s often told them that but it was different when it wasn´t in the setting of a meet and greet or FanCall!
“Ah thank you!”
You wanted to say something but a pink haired someone came running inside the lobby, followed by 2 brunette boys, all screaming for Hongjoong you guessed!
They came to an abrupt halt when they saw their Hyung wasn’t alone.
Mingi, San and Wooyoung stared at you and you stared back. None of you knew what to do at the moment but the moment got broken when Hongjoong scolded them for being so loud at this time.
Not that you understood what he was saying to his members but it´s what you imagined you would do if you were in his shoes right now.
Their faces quickly changed from scared to sheepish to worried.
So he told them what happened huh?
“So our. manager calls us! Can we. Take you to. Room please?”
You looked back at the 3 other members who were grinning at you and nodded slowly before getting up.
Hongjoong packed up and showed you the way to the elevator.
“You ATINY?  What´s your name?” San asked softly.
You told them your entire name and pushed the button to your floor after entering the elevator.
They didn´t take you to your room because you insisted they go rest and wished them a good night.
The next day when you went to check out you saw them in passing as they were leaving the hotel with the manager. Hongjoong waved at you and Mingi winked in your direction.
None of the members looked disturbed and not even the manager intervened. They all seemed relieved when they saw that you seemed okay after a bit of sleep.
The receptionist took your key card and printed the receipt for you before handing it to you with an envelope.
You thanked him, left and opened the envelope. Inside was a Polaroid pic of the members, the back was signed by all of them, with a note attached.
Get home safe y/n! - Yours, ATEEZ
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thaisibir · 1 year
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The Dog In Her (post-Survive/Truthful route Aoi x Saki fic)
Rating: T Genre: Drama, Friendship, Romance, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Aoi and Labramon are inseparable. Together they conquered a murderous fog and beastly gods. But coming home with Labramon, Aoi finds her next enemy in her own mother, who’s allergic to all things furry and hates dogs, and from that finds her greatest ally in Saki.
Chapter 1/? Also on AO3
Egg salad sandwich wasn't her favorite. A lot of food from camp left much to be desired, really.
Still, Aoi was grateful to have something in her hands to keep them from shaking. She was sure that Labramon could hear her heart beating like a taiko drum in her chest. If she did, she was too nice to say it aloud.
A bright voice snapped Aoi out of her thoughts. "Who would've thought we live that close to each other?" Sitting beside Aoi on the wooden bench, Saki swung her legs back and forth. "You'll come visit, right?"
Aoi tried to break the tension inside her with a smile. "Of course I will. And you can always come see me too."
"It's a deal. I love that for us." Saki stretched her arms for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Did Shuuji finally get picked up or what?"
No sooner had she said that, the older boy came and went from a nearby window in a flash. A flash of him again, this time in the opposite direction. Still pacing around outside, Aoi guessed. She had caught a glimpse of his partner perched on his shoulders. Lopmon had one long brown ear draped over Shuuji to shield him from the sun.
Saki shook her head. "That guy doesn't know how to sit still."
Aoi frowned. "I can't say I blame him, knowing the kind of family he has…"
At least she and her friends had each other's backs when they came back to camp with their partners, trying to rein in the ensuing hysteria that had almost blown apart the school. Takuma had taken the lead, as he did for most things, to explain the existence of Kemonogami. Others have said that Aoi had also done a lot to calm everyone down with cool-headed rationale. That was out of the way now, but there were still families to deal with. That everyone had to sort out on their own.
Camp ended earlier this morning, with most of the kids picked up by their families within a few hours. Kaito and Miu lived in the area and didn't need to be picked up, of course, but they had to head home so they wouldn't worry their parents. Aoi, Saki, and Shuuji, on the other hand, lived the farthest away from camp. That left them the last waiting to be picked up. Sitting alone in the gym just with Saki and their partners, with no adult chaperones in obvious sight, brought Aoi back to the old, abandoned school she and the other Survivors had called their home for what seemed like a stranded eternity.
The Survivors, that was what they had called themselves. Or what Minoru had called their little ragtag band, to be exact. As often as Aoi would roll her eyes at the antics of the resident jokester, she had to admit that the name had a nice ring to it.
Dust motes made a slow, lazy dance in shafts of sunlight that streamed through the gym windows. Saki huffed a sigh, which turned into a sneeze that sent the nearest motes from a dance into a frenzy.
"We've been here forever," she whined, dragging out the last word. "If I could have my own car and drive, we'd all be home by now."
Aoi wrinkled her nose. "If you went a hundred-thirty kilometers an hour the whole way, maybe."
Saki giggled. "I would if I could!"
"That sounds like fun," Floramon said with a huge grin.
"That sounds dangerous," Labramon said with a small frown.
"Honestly, I don't mind the wait." Aoi felt like she needed all the time in the world to prepare for what came next.
The wild, harrowing, often death-defying journey through that other world was over. So was camp. Soon the two worlds would merge. Contact between humans and Kemonogami was inevitable.
"You're nervous about your family meeting me, aren't you?" Labramon gazed up at Aoi, her eyes as gentle as her inquiry.
"Yeah, I am." Aoi forced herself to take a bite of cold, bland sandwich. Anything to relieve her tight, dry throat. "But it can't be helped. Besides, if there's any Kemonogami my parents have to run into, I'd rather you be the first."
Labramon tilted her head. "What are your parents like? I didn't get the chance to ask earlier."
Aoi didn't get the chance to answer. She opened her mouth just as one of the teachers poked his head through the gym door and called for her.
"My dad's here. I have to go." Aoi rose to her feet, slung the strap of her bookbag over her shoulder, and glanced back at Saki. "You'll be okay here?"
The younger girl winked. "Don't worry about me. We got our fearless leader patrolling the block."
Floramon waved her frilly purple hand. "And she's got me, of course!"
Saki rolled up the sleeves of her pink jacket, putting on a very solemn game face. "We'll hold down the fort to bravely fight off our worst enemy: sheer boredom."
Aoi fought back a laugh. "I know you'll win." She played along with giving Saki a salute, then she turned, took a deep breath, and headed out of the gym to confront her own obstacle.
Her father waited at the curb in his truck, his build and frame not towering over his daughter only because he sat behind the wheel. Aoi picked up her brisk stride into what she hoped was an easy loping run, not a terrified scramble up to him.
"Morning, kiddo," he said as he rolled the window down. "Or should I say afternoon? Sorry for the long wait."
"It's all good, Dad."
His muscular hair-matted arm rested on the edge of the window. He looked down to address what his eyes had been tracking the moment Aoi had stepped outside the gym. "You must be the new friend my girl was talking about."
"Yes, sir," Labramon replied.
To Aoi's relief, her father didn't fall over in surprise at Labramon opening her mouth. Good thing she had that talk over the phone with her dad beforehand. She wanted to make this encounter as smooth and painless as possible.
Aoi forced herself to take in another deep, calming breath. "Dad, I'd like you to meet Labramon. Labramon, this is my father, Tatsuo Shibuya."
Labramon sat on her haunches to give a proper, formal bow. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Shibuya."
The ends of his dark moustache perked with his smile. "You are very well-mannered. I appreciate polite company. Hop in, it's a long drive back home."
Aoi opened the back car door for Labramon and helped her partner get strapped into the backseat before joining her dad up front. She almost collapsed into the front seat beside him. Mixed relief and exhaustion had turned her legs into boneless jelly.
A faraway shout made Aoi look out the window. Saki had emerged from the gym to stand beside Shuuji, and they waved at her as Tatsuo drove the truck away. Aoi waved back until her friends dwindled out of sight.
Her father glanced at the rearview mirror. "How's the air back there? Not too cold for you?"
"It's perfectly fine, Mr. Shibuya," Labramon replied.
Tatsuo shook his head and said in a lower voice, "Well, I'll be. A talking animal. And there's more of them too."
"There will be a lot more coming, Dad," Aoi said softly. "It's only a matter of time."
The car left the winding backwood roads and got on the freeway. Aoi caught a whiff of cologne from her dad. He'd put that on to mask the stench of sweat and smoke--just one of many quirks with having a firefighter dad. The familiar smell of family and home comforted her.
Tatsuo didn't turn on the usual rock music. No one said anything for a while. Then he said, "We have to talk about your mom."
Her fists on her lap and her gut clenched at the same time. "She needs to know. Labramon is very important to me. She isn't just some stray dog I picked up off the street."
"She definitely doesn't look and sound like she's from around here, that's for sure." Tatsuo glanced at his daughter. "Just what kind of mess did you get yourself into?" The naked disbelief in his eyes softened. "It's a long drive. We got plenty of time, kiddo."
There was so much Aoi couldn't talk about over text and call. He was right, this was a good time to explain everything. So she did her best to sum up the adventure she had, starting from the moment she and her friends had stumbled into that strange shrine. An hour passed when she finally stopped to wrap up and catch her breath.
Tatsuo stared ahead, as if there was a fork in the road and he contemplated which side to take. Finally he said, "That's a lot to take in."
"Yeah, and a lot of it is really weird. I don't blame you if you-"
"No, I believe you." He made a looping turn to merge into another freeway. "You got a good head on your shoulders, Aoi. You're not the kind of person to make up stuff out of the blue. You don't speak up unless there's real good reason to."
Relief filled her like rising warm air again.
"Besides, I can already tell that you've changed a lot since I last saw you."
"Really?"
"If it's only been a few days at camp but a lot longer in that other world, then yeah, there's been enough time for you to come out a very different person. In a good way, of course." Tatsuo reached over to briefly rest a hand on her shoulder. "This is the most I've ever heard you talk. You sound so sure of yourself. If you told me that the earth is flat, and I didn't know any better, I'd believe you. I'm so proud of you, kiddo."
Her cheeks warmed. "Dad…"
He sighed through his nose. "We need to figure out the best way to tell your mom, though. It'll take a lot more work to get through to her, if we can at all."
We. Dad was taking her side. That reassured Aoi immensely. Still, she didn't want to think about her mom now. As grateful as she was for her father believing her so easily, the combined efforts of explaining everything to the kids at camp and then him took a lot out of her. Talking to her mom about Labramon was a whole other hurdle to jump over.
Tatsuo seemed to take the hint as he exited the freeway to the nearest gas station. "How about a bathroom break and snacks for the road?"
When he got out to fill up the car with gas, Aoi turned in her seat to look back at Labramon. "I'm sorry, but you should stay in here. I don't know how people out there will react to you. I'll go in and get you whatever you want."
Labramon wagged her fluffy tail. "Sure, I understand. And I'll have whatever you're having."
Aoi was glad to have such an agreeable partner. She remembered Takuma telling her how much Agumon had put up a protest about staying hidden.
She couldn't help asking, "What do you think of my father?"
Labramon replied without hesitation, "He may look big and scary, but he's a kind and reasonable man."
"Good, I'm glad you like him."
"He reminds me a lot of you."
"Does he?" It had never occurred to Aoi that she took after her dad in any way. If anything, she had always wished she could be half as brave and strong as him. He could run into burning buildings while she couldn't even speak up for herself in class.
She was mulling over this as she browsed the snack aisle, and seeing the sweets jerked her out of those thoughts. She had claimed that Labramon was not an ordinary dog, but she wasn't sure if her partner could eat chocolate. Better to be safe than sorry, she thought. Aoi loaded up on the shrimp chips, rice crackers, and ramune instead.
She paid for the snacks and drinks in a sort of daze, every movement a second delayed. Back in the other world, she was so used to fetching rations for herself and her friends without going through anyone else. The idea of forking over cash in exchange felt foreign to her now.
Welcome back to the real world, she told herself.
Soon the "real world" wouldn't be even that anymore, but a new one as the world of Kemonogami would seep more and more into the fabric of reality. According to the mural, things would go back to the way it should be. Aoi didn't know what that would be like. The idea of it both excited and terrified her. No one, not even any of the Survivors, was truly ready for that new era. Didn't mean that Aoi wasn't going to do anything she could to prepare her family, though.
She returned to the car popping open a bag of chips for Labramon, then a bag of her dad's favorite brand of wasabi-flavored rice crackers for him to grab from the cup holder.
"These are so good!" Labramon had shrimp chip dust all around her snout. "I can't stop eating these! Human food is something else."
It heartened Aoi to hear her dad laugh at that. "I don't know what kind of food you had where you came from, but I can't argue with you there."
"Aoi's cooking is even better," Labramon added.
"Dad's cooking is the best," Aoi said modestly. "Everything I know about cooking, I learned from him."
When her dad wasn't busy putting out fires, he was an amateur cook who loved being around another kind of fire, the kind from the grill in their backyard. Despite the bag of shrimp chips she was eating from, Aoi now craved her dad's barbecue from home. She wanted Labramon to try it sometime.
Her four-legged companion through thick and thin was part of her family now. Aoi wanted to believe in that very badly. It wasn't up to her, though.
Aoi looked at the rearview mirror to meet Labramon's eyes, wishing she could face her partner properly for this kind of conversation. "I'd love for you to come home with us, believe me, but the thing with my mom…" She sighed. "Well, two things. One, she's allergic to anything with fur on it…"
"What does allergic mean?"
"It's um…the body's way of overreacting to certain things, like to peanuts or dust," Aoi replied. "In my mom's case, fur makes her cough, sneeze, and itch all over."
"I'll try not to touch her, I can keep my distance."
"Just you being nearby would set her off. Her allergies are pretty bad. But that's not even the worst of it. Two, she's terrified of dogs. Utterly, irrationally terrified of them."
Labramon frowned. "I'm not a dog."
"I know, but she won't."
"This huge fear she has, it's called a phobia," Tatsuo said. "When you're so afraid of something, you can't think straight. Your mind and body go into panic overdrive, fight or flight mode, as if you're in a life or death situation."
"That sounds terrible," Labramon said. Her pink ears drooped. "So it's probably for the best that she doesn't meet me at all."
Aoi bit down on her lip. "I wish it doesn't have to come to that…"
She hadn't thought about where Labramon could go besides her house. More like she didn't want to think about it. Now she forced herself. Her mind blanked out on the options, her stomach sunk lower and lower into a pit of despair…
Aoi's phone buzzed in her pocket, startling her. It was a text from Takuma in the Survivor group chat.
"Introduced Agumon to my mom," the text said. "He loves her curry so much that he ate two bowls in under a minute. He's a keeper in her book, she said."
Aoi wished that winning over her mother could be that simple.
Next came the string of laughing emojis from everyone else.
Another text from Takuma, this time asking if the late stragglers got home okay. "Still on the road," Aoi texted back.
Incoming call from Saki. Aoi picked up.
"Hey, beat you home," Saki declared from the other end.
Aoi could not help laughing. "It's not a race, Saki." That girl had a talent for lightening up the mood without driving her up the wall like Minoru would. "How are things at home?"
"Oh, just swell. It's love at first sight. Mom and Dad adore Floramon. 'You got what you wished for,' my dad said."
"What does he mean by that?"
"Try not to laugh, this is going to sound silly, but I'm in my school's gardening club and I'd talk to the plants. You know, complaining about boys and too much homework."
Aoi didn't laugh. "Talking to plants is actually good for them. Something about how they grow more from the sound waves and carbon dioxide we emit. I read that somewhere."
"Of course you did. You're so smart, Aoi." Saki said that with no sass whatsoever, but with genuine admiration. "Thank you for validating my craziness."
Aoi laughed then. "You're welcome, I guess."
"Anyway, I'd always wish that the plants could talk back. Well, I ended up with something better. I got Floramon!"
"Congratulations. It sounds like it couldn't have ended any better."
"Right? I hope it goes well for you, too."
"I don't know about that."
"Why not?"
Aoi paused, but not for long. With Saki, she felt like she could tell her anything, no holds barred. "My mom won't react well to meeting Labramon. She definitely wouldn't let her stay in our house. She's allergic to dogs and has a phobia of them."
Saki winced. "That's tough, I'm sorry." Then her voice went up an octave. "Hey, I got an idea. If you're having trouble figuring out where Labramon should go instead, why not let her stay at my place with me and Floramon?"
Aoi sat up straighter in her car seat. "Oh, Saki, are you sure?"
"That's a great idea," Floramon's voice floated in from the background. "Labramon should at least be with friends, if not with Aoi's family. Definitely not out on the streets alone."
"Definitely not," Aoi swiftly agreed. The very thought of Labramon wandering around without food and shelter like a stray sent a vice through her chest. "But Saki, is that really okay?"
"Sure it is! I have to let Mom and Dad know, but I'm sure they'll understand. There's plenty of food and room at my place for both our partners."
Aoi slumped in her seat, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. "Saki, I can't thank you enough. That's so kind of you…"
"After everything you did to keep all of us alive, it's the least I can do."
"No, this is huge. Thank you, really." Aoi's voice began to tremble. "How can I repay-"
"Uh uh, don't mention it. Labramon can stay rent-free for as long as she needs to."
Aoi couldn't get anything out now, her throat all choked up with emotion. Labramon spoke in her stead from the back of the truck.
"Thank you so much, Saki. Aoi and I are grateful from the bottom of our hearts."
"Just helping out friends in need. Oh, got to go. Dinner's ready. Call me back when you're going to drop off Labramon!"
Aoi hung up, still overwhelmed beyond words.
"So that's Saki, huh?" Tatsuo said. "She seems like a sweet girl."
"The sweetest," Aoi finally managed to say. And the bravest. And the strongest. Everything Aoi wanted to be but couldn't be. She couldn't help feeling a swell of envy rising with admiration for the other girl. Floramon was taken in and accepted just like that. Then again, with the unseen burden Saki had to bear, she deserved that much to have something go that easy when everything else in her life was so damn hard. A stab of guilt swiftly followed that ebb of envy.
"Labramon staying with your friend Saki is a really good start," Tatsuo said.
Aoi nodded in agreement. She could rest easy knowing that Labramon would be safe, and she could avoid being less than honest and upfront with her mom by sneaking Labramon into the house and hiding her somewhere. If there was anything her mother hated more than dogs, it was dishonesty. And if there was anything her mother loved second only to the family, it was being considerate.
Since the moment she had learned to speak, Aoi had learned next from her mom to always think of others before herself, always be considerate. Aoi was resorting to Labramon being housed elsewhere out of consideration for her mom. That much was true. She hoped her mom would come to appreciate that.
Tatsuo ran fingers through his short dark hair. "She's already worried about you as it is. She's been fretting since she last heard of the landslides near the camp."
Aoi was well aware of that. Back in the other world, in the deepest level of the shrine, she had been startled with the least garbled text she had seen so far. That text was from her mom. She could just hear the worry coming off those half-garbled words.
"Let's get back home and make sure Mom knows I'm okay," Aoi said. "Then when the dust settles down, we can try introducing Labramon to her."
A sensible plan, in her opinion. Too much all at once wouldn't go down well with her mom, or she'd have a full-blown panic attack.
Every second in the truck with her dad brought Aoi closer to home. After everything she went through, she should relax now. Unfortunately she felt anything but relaxed. Together with Labramon, Aoi had conquered a murderous fog and beastly gods. So why did her heart beat so hard and fast in her chest, as if she was about to face her greatest enemy yet?
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pbandjesse · 2 years
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After I finished my post last night I ended up getting very upset about my dad. And cried on James for a little. And decided I should just. Go and see my parents today. And so that's exactly what I did.
The decision made me sleep a lot better. James got me a different blanket out and I slept pretty great. I did wake up before my alarm and felt pretty good. I always wake up easier when I have something to do. I got up and made the bed and went to get dressed.
Something scratched my eye and I couldn't get it to stop hurting for a half hour. Which was frustrating. But I used a bunch of eye drops and tried to wash my eye out. I couldn't really put mascara on because of it. But whatever.
James and me left here at 730. I drove us out to the museum to drop them off and went to great breakfast. I got out of the car to give them a big hug and kiss and then was off.
Except not really. Because when I got to McDonald's I realized I had James's coffee still. I texted them and they biked up to me to get it and I got one extra kiss. Very sweet. Love them so much.
I had a good drive out. It took about 2 hours and there was not traffic. I listened to lots of music. I did end up crying listening to some show tunes. Happens sometimes. I needed the catharsis I guess.
I was excited to be out of the car when I got there around 10. My legs kind of felt like jelly. But I was so happy to see my parents. And the doggies.
It was really great spending time together. We talked about my dad's leg. Which looked pretty scary and he looked pretty pale. But he was in good spirits. I did not like hearing him say 'if' around coming to my wedding. But I also just want him to be okay and whatever that takes is more important. I don't want to be selfish but I also. Have to have him there. It isn't acceptable that he wouldn't be there.
Around 11 my aunt Renee came over. She's not actually my aunt, she's my sister's mom. But she's always been my aunt and she's lovely. I really enjoyed all of us hanging out. I got to learn a lot more about my dad's younger life and there were lots of laughs. I don't think she's heard me talk so much before. I was kind of a standoffish kid. But man did she hear me today. I talk a lot and very fast. My grad school director used to say I talk through the trees. And it's absolutely true, I get there eventually but we are not on a path at all. I think she thought I was funny though and that is still positive.
We ordered lunch. And we compared jewelry. Talked about childhoods and memories. I told them all about art and stories from my life. Renee told us about the wild 21 day vacation she's going on. Which sounds amazing. And we talked about the wedding and how things are going to be. The decorations and the hotels and stuff.
We have to make some changes to the plan because of moving my dad around. But that is okay. So I may stay in the hotel on Thursday instead of James. But we will see.
Renee left and I spent another hour and a half with my parents. We talked about music and life and it was really nice. I wanted to stay more but I also wanted to get home before 9.
So I said goodbye. Mom sent me home with detergent and cat food. I let her know my dad's car windows were open? I got pictures with them and gave them hugs and then I was off.
The drive home was not as pleasant. It was directly into the sun the entire drive. And just horrible traffic. So it took almost 3 hours. Which was not ideal. I tried to keep myself awake and aware by having a full dance party. Which was a lot of fun and very silly.
I had the two pieces of pizza my mom gave me before I left. So at least I wasnt starving. I would take a break after 2 hours to stretch my legs. Mostly because my foot hurt really bad today. But I would just walk around the rest stop for a couple minutes before I was off and back on the road.
I got back here closer to 830 then I was happy about. But I got home in one piece.
I was really happy to see James. They were a little sad because they somehow lost their engagement ring. Again. I'm not upset but I feel bad that they are upset. It will be alright.
We both showered and that made me feel a lot better. Though I am pretty exhausted. I am also excited because I just got offered the grant position at the visionary museum! I hope it leads to more!!
But now is time for sleep. I hope you all sleep great. Take care of yourself! I have the garage sale with Anne, I hope it is fun! I hope you have a great night!! Sleep good!!
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a-flux-uchiha · 1 year
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The Romance(or Lack Thereof) in Marriage to Escape the Suitors
Teen and up for mentions of people wanting to get into Dusk's skirts so to speak, Really mostly just Dusk, Twilight appears briefly, as does a noble oc.
Dusk watched as the portal opened and the hero walked out. It closed a second later, none of his recent friends following him out. He was bloodied, the stuff caked around his mouth, side, and legs. Some of it was black, but a lot of it wasn’t. Dusk signaled for a servant, quietly instructing her to get a doctor for the hero. He was likely injured, and if not, then he really should get new clothes. 
She heard someone approaching her from behind, far too quick for it to be either the hero or the servant reporting in, so she took her time turning around, face set to neutral, and hands clasped calmly in front of her. 
“Lord Tyrnan requests an audience,” the servant said, hands clasped in front of her. “As soon as your schedule permits.” 
“Inform him he may come to the private audience room when the hour strikes.” Just enough time to allow her to prepare for the meeting, and enough time for him to know that she was not at his beck and call. Although not long enough that he would take it as a dismissal. Nobility was always a delicate dance of hidden meanings and polite and subtle ‘screw you’s. 
And it may allow her the time to see the hero, if briefly. 
The servant bowed and left, and Dusk took one last glance out the window, seeing the hero beset by a harried doctor, and headed off as well. Perhaps she would go see him, just to judge his current state, given the lack of his companions. 
“Hero of Twilight,” Dusk greeted him politely, but formally, when she got out. The doctor spared her a quick bow, then went back to wrapping up a cut on the man’s arm. 
“Queen of Dusk,” Twilight replied, not an actual title she held, just one he called her. From anyone else, it would be mocking, a jab at what had happened because of her leadership. From the hero, it was bordering a fond nickname. He had admitted he called her Dusk when with the other heroes, as they all had a Zelda, and she had elected to keep the nickname. 
“I see you are lacking in companions.” 
Twilight’s ears drooped at the tips, but his face didn’t change that much. “Yeah. It’s over. Legend thinks we should be able to send letters though, so we won’t be fully out of contact.” 
“That’s good,” Dusk replied, unsure how to reply to that. With a noble, depending on how much she liked them, she’d either go with something along the lines of ‘Perhaps that would be a detriment to them’ or if she liked them more, something like ‘may the mail lines be fast for your correspondence.’ If she tried to use either on Twilight, something she knew from experience, he’d just give her a look. 
Dusk glanced at the clock, the strike of the hour was quickly approaching. “I must take my leave. Stay as long as you need to recover.” 
“Right.” 
That concluded, Dusk turned and left, striding away and up to the private audience room. Lord Tyrnan was not someone she liked meeting with, he was a lesser noble who often found excuses to try and invite her places. He was about her age, which seemed to make him think he was entitled to be permitted to court her.
When Impa had been alive, she’d commented that some people, like Tyrnan, would just want to get into her skirts, and the phrase had stuck with Dusk ever since. As much as it hurt to think about. 
Tyrnan did also have opinions on how things should be run, which just made it worse. He was a hassle to deal with on a good day. 
“Lord Tyrnan,” Dusk greeted him formally when he was allowed into the room by her guards. She had elected to wear her rapier in addition to having two guards in the room. Which was a show of blatant mistrust. 
“Your majesty,” he replied, bowing more shallowly than he really should, but Dusk elected to let it slide this time. She just wanted this over with. She didn’t feel like arguing with him for ten minutes about how deeply he should bow to his monarch. 
Time to skip the pleasantries and go straight to the point. “Was there something you wanted? You wouldn’t have bothered to set up an appointment if you didn’t want something.” 
“You didn’t have to accept it if you didn’t want to, your majesty,” he replied, sending a somewhat longing glance towards the other chair in the room. She didn’t invite him to sit in it. He was a young and fit man, he could survive standing for the course of the conversation. 
“I did if I didn’t want you taking out your frustration on the servant delivering the news. Unless you’re willing to dispute the bruises my handmaid came back with after she returned the necklace you thought to try and gift me.” The necklace in question had been ugly, tacky, and also wildly inappropriate for a young single woman who was not looking to be courted. It had been something that would have been better suited as a courting or wedding gift, and thus she sent it back. 
Her poor handmaid had needed a red potion because of her cracked wrist, and had been taken off duty to recover for a week. 
Tyrnan couldn’t refute that, so he simply changed topics. “I simply wanted to ask if you received my letter. You haven’t sent a reply yet, so I simply wanted to ensure it hadn’t gotten lost.” 
Dusk could take it mildly and say she had never received it, but frankly, she didn’t feel like encouraging him. “I received it. My handmaid briefed me on what it said and I allowed her to do as she wished with it. I believe it made its way into the fire.” The letter actually hadn’t even been opened. It had been sealed with a deep blue and white mixed wax. The sort only used to offer courting. She was not interested in being courted at the moment, so any letters with that sort of sealing wax were dispatched with. Usually into the fire. 
“You can’t just keep ignoring all courtship offers,” Tyrnan said, hands clenched. 
Dusk stared at him calmly. “I can’t say why you would think that. I have no current need of a prince consort.” Traditionally, the Queen ruled primarily on her own, taking on a prince consort typically in her twenties. If the two had a child, the man was officially promoted to king, but typically still had the same amount of political power as he did when he was prince consort. The title simply meant that should the Queen die in childbirth or otherwise die, he would take charge until their child was ready to rule. Should the Queen die without any children, the closest living relative would be called upon to take the throne and thus the responsibility of carrying the bloodline. 
Dusk had a cousin who was already married and had a kid, although she lived in a smaller town outside of Hyrule Town and generally avoided nobility. Should Dusk ultimately not take a partner or have a kid, she would take rule, and her children would carry on that legacy. 
The title difference did have a slight difference when it came to divorce as well, as divorcing a prince consort was fairly simple, just a matter of noting that it wasn’t working out as well as it had when they courted. Divorcing a king was far more difficult, as his bloodline was already within the family. Typically, if a king was divorced, it was for a big reason and the Queen already had another man in mind to take his place. The elder child would be counted as second in succession, should the Queen and the second man have a child. 
Although it was generally polite for a Queen and a prince consort to at least wait a full year before breaking it off. 
Hm. That did give her an idea though. 
“You have to get married and give the royal bloodline a child at some point, Queen, if not-“ 
“If you finish that comment with ‘if not, what else are you good for I will have you executed.” Dusk interrupted calmly. Ah yes, prime example of why she was not interested in marrying anyone at the moment. Not that she wasn’t under immense pressure to do so. She was nearing the middle of her twenties, the clock wasn’t exactly ticking down, but all of her advisors and the entire noble class seemed to think it was. 
Fortunately, Tyrnan seemed to have realized his mistake, and had shut up. 
“I suggest you leave,” Dusk said, laying a hand on the rapier at her hip. “I believe our meeting is over.” 
He beat a quick retreat, and Dusk sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She shooed the guards out, and they shut the door behind them. 
She slumped in the chair. They were becoming more blatant and pushy. She was going to have to do something about this soon or she’d actually execute one of them. 
Dusk glanced out the window, which was actually facing the front where the hero was evidently done being treated and now was just chatting up the doctor. 
Well, he wasn’t involved in the court, wasn’t looking to get into her skirts because he had liked Midna, and if she incentivized it enough, he might just agree. She just had to play her cards carefully.
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i-like-gay-books · 3 years
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me, just minding my own business, having symptoms of stress because its getting to the end of the semester and everything is stressful:
my anxiety brain: you know I bet that’s not just stress I bet it’s that ultra-rare blood clot that isn’t even necessarily linked to the vaccine that you’ve been looking out for since the news broke
me: *anxiety intensifies and makes stress symptoms worse yay*
#in other news I found out that all sorts of weird things can be caused by stress#my tinnitus has been bothering me since idek a while#and my visual snow has intensified#every once in a while I see flashes of light out of the corner of my eye and im like oh no I bet im seeing stars and im about to pass out#even though I know full well that its just the visual snow and I have literally no other physical indication of feeling faint#also my legs hurt but I did a dance thing for like two hours last night which included running so yeah#and as the cherry on top it is that wonderful time of month where I pee out my uterus#so thats fun#just wish my anxiety brain could maybe stop#like its fine my regular brain has been able to calm me down faster each time it happens#but like seriously im still shaking#oh also every time it happened my heart starts beating harder and I go short of breath#which is just a regular anxiety symptom I know#but its also a blood clot symptom#which certainly doesnt help my anxiety brain from making stupid dumb anxiety assumptions#this is what happens when I have no structure in my day#my sociology prof cancelled today because of vaccine symptoms and so I only had one class and nothing to do with the rest of my day#every time I have more time to myself than im used to my anxiety brain gains power#I need to take a shower#and have lunch#I have to get out of this dorm room#ugh#this was just a random rant not me asking for reassurance again#you can ignore this I just needed to type for a hot minute there#cloudy rambles
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springalwayscomes · 3 years
Text
Not even a gift
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Plot: Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. But then you turned around, and well, that was a total different thing. The poor man couldn’t even stand beside you without embarassing himself or embarassing you, and evey time seems to get worse and worse and...worse. 
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Dancer AU, Fluff, Humor, Smut, One Shot
Wordcount: 30k
Content Warning: Jungkook can’t stop embarassing himself, swearing, sexual innuendo, sexual tension, awkard situations, masturbation, sexual fantasies, a lot - a lot - of fluff, Reader with stress issues, overwhelming parents, trust issues
A/N: I wrote this when I was just joining the fandom, last year for Kookie’s birthday. I remember wanting to pst this so badly but it stayed in my drafts because I wasn’t sure it was good enough and I was a little insecure about the ending. I told to myself that someday I’d rewrite a new ending and post this, but knowing myself and how I work with my writing, I know that that day will never come because even if did so, I’ll probably end up with not liking my style of writing anymore and editit all out, leave it like this or delate it. So I told myself that I’d rather prefer to publish it. cause at the end this story was incredibly funny to write - sometimes I would laugh all alone like an idiot while writing it - and to be honest I think it’s pretty good. It’s the very first fanfiction I wrote about BTS so it’s also very meaningful for me. For reasons as the ones I already mentioned I decided to not edit this, so you might find some grammatical errors, please understand that this was the first time I wrote something from scratch in english. If you’d like to read it in episodes I’m going to publish it on youtube as a series too, where you’ll be able to live the full experience of the story since there you can visualize it too, as for the story it’s exactly the same as here. Enjoy reading this one, I know you’ll have fun!
Watch the first episode on Youtube
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Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. It wasn’t just fit and solid, it was the way you were moving it on the beat, making it look like something he’d die to touch, squeeze, hold.
That was the very first thing he noticed about you.
He couldn’t help but fantasize how you’re face would look, watching your back from the doorframe of the ballroom. He imagined you sweat, little drops forming on your forehead caused by the the movements. He tried to focus his attention on the other dancers, fixating his gaze on the girl beside you making the exact same moves as you, but something about your presence kept on calling him like you were a mermaid and he was a poor sailor.
His dark doe-eyes ended again on your body, being in the last row it was hard for him to find your reflection in the mirror, other bodies moving endlessly making him grimace. He was running out of time, the poor man got stuck in traffic on his way here, already twenty minutes late, and god knows why he stopped looking at you dancing.
He shook his head when even after the music stopped your back was still facing him, not that he minded, but he was really dying to know how your face would look like.
Someone must have been both incredibly hungry and in love with him, cause a second later, you were bending over, resting your elbows on your thighs and giving him an even more beautiful view of your ass while trying to catch your breath. 
Breath stuck in his lungs, Jungkook gulped hard, making his adam’s apple jump up and down.
The girl next to you said something that made you laugh, back invaded by the spasms of your laughter, something he couldn’t hear because of all the talking that was going on in the room. He wished he could. He imagined your voice, soft and sweet, and soon enough is mind was already wondering about your features.
Snorting and getting out of his trance, he remembered himself he had to practice. Ready to take the first step away from the ballroom which he didn’t belong to, he shook his head a second time and turned, ready to leave his thoughts about you in that room and never meet them again.
But a second song started. And this time, he recognized the beat. Holding his breath again, he faced the entrance with a speed that got him shocked by himself.
Your hips were moving again, slowly and sensually, hands drawing abstract shapes in the air, hair attached to your skin. Your sweat shorts were doing nothing to hide your skin from his dark eyes, all he could think about was the way it seemed to shine under the lights of the room and the way your sweat would make it look even more glowing.
He hissed through his teeth, trying to push away the though of his hands against your skin, the way he’d like to trace your thighs with his fingers, leave pecks against your body and mark your hips with his lips. He brought his gaze back on your ass, sinful eyes burning against your skin and jaw clenching, Jungkook licked his lips and watched you arch your back before bringing your left leg to your head, holding it with your hands as you tiptoed your right foot.
«How long have you been here?»
He literally jumped, locking his gaze with whoever gave him a heart attack. Standing beside him, looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes wide were Yoongi.
«I-»
«You know this is the wrong room, right?» he looked at him with a blank expression, trying to understand what Jungkook was actually doing standing at the doorframe of a different studio, without even caring about the fact he should be practicing with him and the others.
«I know, I was just... looking around.» he managed to let out, before taking a deep breath and stepping towards Yoongi.
The moment he realized he was rocking a half-hard just by his previous sight, he clenched his jaw and gulped again. If Yoongi had already noticed his situation then he wouldn’t know cause his face was no longer on him, neck turned to peek into the room that stole the maknae’s attention before. The youngest one used that moment to bring his bag in front of him, and then headed to their dance class trying not to draw too much attention.
That was the first time he saw you.
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Jungkook dropped his bag to the ground as soon as he entered his bedroom, removing his sneakers and his socks he headed to his bathroom in a matter of seconds, begging to feel the cold drops of water wash away all the sweat on his skin and the heat of his body, even though the last one wasn’t because of the workout.
His cock was aching, so damn hard and throbbing against his sweat pants.
He wished they finished their practice just a few seconds sooner. Dancing was a pain in the ass today, all he wanted to do was head back to your doorframe and peek at you, loose his gaze on your body, trying to steal a glance of your face.
But still, it didn’t happen. He couldn’t help but think about how’d you look during the three hours of rehearsals, he thought about it so much that now he had a clear image of you in his mind. And it was pretty platonic, almost inaccessible.
He removed his shirt and his pants, letting them fall on the ground, and then turned on the water, already hooking his fingers under the elastic band of his boxers. He was so hard that it ached.
Jungkook took a deep breath and palmed himself through the material, immediately hissing at the touch. Deciding it was not enough he let the cloth slowly fall to the ground, creating a wall around his ankles that he surpassed in a second getting in the shower.
He didn’t waste time on lathering, he just shut the glass door and closed his eyes while bringing his hand to his shaft. The fingertip of his thumb collected the precum leaking out of his slit, moving over his head and making him clench his jaw shut, breath already uneven.
He though about the way you moved your hips, he’d like to hold them tight and down on the bed while fucking into you. He’d take such a good care of you. He’d fuck you so good, making you whimper and moan every time he’d hit your g-spot, he’d squeeze your ass in his big hands, leaving marks as a reminder of his touch. He’d kiss your skin, he’d kiss your neck and he wouldn’t even mind tasting the sweat caused by your rehearsals today, but in his mind, that’d be caused by what you two are doing.
Jungkook groaned and stroked himself, bringing his hand now to his base and tightening his grip around his girth. Throbbing, pulsating cock begging to release all his seed.
His movements were firm and clear, his fist moving so fast that his wrist was hurting, head falling back, mouth agape and eyebrows knitted together. The sound of his movements blended with the clatter of the water, his shoulders raising from time to time because of the heavy breathing, hips bucking against his hand. He wished it was you, the only part he’d seen of you, he desperately wished he was fucking your ass, so, so hard he’d make you whine and cry in pleasure. He imagined the sounds you’d made, and even though he didn’t even know how your voice sounded or how you looked, he already knew that it’d be his new favorite sound.
«Fuck» he groaned, fucking his cock in his hand even harder, moving his hips and meeting his hand halfway. He bit his lower lip, flesh aching and almost bleeding under his teeth, bringing his free hand to his heavy balls and massaging them. His pace fastened even more if it’s possible, his hips were snapping so hard into his hand picturing your ass in its place, he was so close he could taste it. He pictured your body bent over his bed, taking him so nicely, moaning out loud and clenching around his greedy cock, so needy and so damn wet for him.
«God, fuck» he growled, shoving fast into his hand. He wished he knew your face, he’d like to picture you taking his big cock in your lips. He already know they’d look so damn beautiful around his girth, gagging and drooling for him, he’d hold your head still and fuck himself into your pretty lips so good, letting you eat all of his seed.
That, that was what brung him to his apex. Abs contracting and rough breath, muscles tightening and eyes squinting, lips open letting out low groans.
«Fucking hell»
Hot white spatters stained his hand and chest as he rode his orgasm, keep shoving himself into his hand. The water washed away his seed, it disappeared so fast he didn’t even see it, and when he opened his eyes he took some time to catch his breath leaning against the wall behind him.
His mind went blank, for just a little. He couldn’t think of anything else than the idyllic orgasm he just had, just the thought of it made his cheeks flash red.
Then, the thoughts hit him. He didn’t even know your name, and here he was, masturbating over you. He was going to change that.
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The second time Jungkook saw you he did  not rush out of his house thirty minutes earlier than he was supposed to. He couldn’t help but ask to himself what was going on with him, he certainly knew he never felt the need to see someone he didn’t even know. God, you didn’t even noticed him. Standing at the doorframe of your rehearsals room, looking at you move your body in such a charming way he swore he never see someone dance like that. Why were you in the last row? You deserved to be in the first one, that wasn’t fair. But, in that way he couldn’t see you, so he stored the information at the back of his mind. When you stopped your movements and you suddenly disappeared into the crowd, he again remembered to himself that he didn’t even know what he was doing.
Come on, was he really going to stand there for about other ten minutes and watch  you dance without doing nothing? He desperately wanted to know how your face looked, by now he could say he had a perfect picture of you in his head. And if he was right, you were probably the best thing he ever seen. 
Just the thought made him lick his lips, taking a deep nervous breath. He needed to talk to you. But what would he say? “Hi, I’ve been watching you dance”? Ew, definitely no. He tried to come up with other possibilities but his mind was totally blank, panic making his way through his thoughts and taking every part of him, leaving him only with sweaty hands and an adam’s apple gulping in his throat.
«Jungkook»
A voice made him turn, his gaze suddenly traveled to his right side.
«Oh, hey» he blurted out, Taehyung was staring at him with an arched eyebrow and inquisitive eyes.
«What were you doing?» the oldest one got closer, his hands in his pockets and a slight smile forming on his lips. Jungkook shook his head.
«Mh- I- waiting» he stuttered. His friend knitted his eyebrows looking at him for just a few seconds, then his gaze met the ballroom in front of them, where Jungkook’s was again scanning bodies, trying to find yours.
«Are you looking for someone?» Teahyung asked, receiving just a shake with his head from the youngest. But he knew better than that, he knew Jungkook well, maybe too much, he couldn’t even try to hide something from him.
When his eyes finally found you again, Teahyung knew it was you, he could just tell by the way he opened his lips, forming a little “oh”, his eyes never leaving your body.
«So you were waiting, uh?» he scoffed.
«Yes?» the maknae wanted to punch himself in the face, that was not supposed to come out as a question.
«Do you know her name?» Taehyung asked. He turned away in the blink of an eye, staring at him with wide eyes. It took him a few seconds to understand he’s been caught, but eventually he decided to just sigh and shake his head again. «Well, I know it» he shrugged like he had just said nothing. Jungkook looked at him with an unreadable expression, trying to understand if what he just heard was real or if he just imagined it. He studied Taehyung’s face like he was some kind of poem, carefully and thoughtfully, wisely looking for a hint to tell him he was just playing with him, but he really seemed serious.
«I can introduce her to you?» he turned to look at him, the youngest was playing with his fingers, eyes staring at the floor, all of his confidence seemed to fade away.
«Why?» he asked.
«What do you mean why?» Taehyung almost laughed at the maknae’s words, and he almost felt guilty. Almost.
«I- I don’t know...» he sighed. Why was he even acting like this? He wanted to talk to you, desperately wanted to know how your face looked like, his imagination was sending him crazy. How did he even ended up like this? He just saw you dance and his mind wasn’t his anymore, constantly wondering about your face. There was just something about you that was making him insanely curious.
«Oh, come on!» unexpectedly, the hyung grabbed him by his arm, making him almost loose his balance while dragging him into the room, taking big steps towards you. No one seemed to notice what was happening externally or inside of Jungkook, heart beating a mad pace, slippy hands like he just dipped them in the water, mind shocked and freaking out attempting to find anything, literally anything that could’ve helped him. Anything would’ve been good, anything for saving him from who knows what his mind was thinking, neither he could understand himself. He never felt more afraid to speak to someone in his life, he swore. Why was he even freaking out? He couldn’t find an answer in those few seconds that divided you from him, and he ended up behind you sooner than he realized. His body instantly tensed.
Teahyung, like the amazing friend he was, tapped your right shoulder, making sure to keep his grip tight on Jungkook’s arm, afraid he would’ve run away at the first opportunity. And he would’ve.
«Yes?» turning, you met the hyung gaze, two deep dark eyes staring at you, breath held in his throat. Damn, you were beautiful.
Oh, God.
That was the first thought that passed Jungkook’s mind when he finally saw your face, all of his fantasies immediately falling to the ground, breaking into a million pieces. He didn’t even know someone that beautiful could exist. His eyes staring at your face like some kind of piece of art. He definitely did not expect you to look like this, he did not see it coming. He thought you were beautiful, but God, not like this.
«Bye» that was the first and last word Taehyung blurted out, finally releasing Jungkook’s arm. Then, he simply walked away, like he did not just leave you two alone, like nothing. You raised your eyebrows, stunned by what just happened looking at the man head to the door and then simply disappear in the hallway. When you realized you were left with someone you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable, shifting your gaze from the corridor to the man in front of you.
In that moment, Jungkook’s heart started beating even faster, if that was possible. His dark doe-eyes stared into yours for a few moments, not even blinking, mouth agape and breath caught in his throat. He looked like he just saw something... something really-
«Am I that ugly?» you blurted out.
When he realized you were actually talking to him, he felt the need to hide, run away, he wanted the earth to open under his feet and engulf him in. His cheeks flashed red, eyes finally starting to blink.
«No I-» his throat was dry, so he swallowed hard and tried to get a little bit of his nerve back.
«I-I just didn’t expect you to be like t-this»
What? Now he really wanted to hide, what the hell was he thinking? Nothing, his mind was totally blank. He didn’t even remember how to create an actually real sentence.
«Sorry?» you asked. Only then, he realized how your voice sounded, definitely lower than he thought. And he loved it.
«Uh- Oh God. I’m sorry»
And that was it, the end of your first conversation. Jungkook looked at your face for just a second more, than his legs did the job for him, he wasn’t even thinking straight, mind totally blown away and panic invading every rational part of him. He simply turned and started running away, disappearing in the hallway just like his friend did a matter of seconds before.
You grimaced, left standing in the rehearsals room, eyes following his tall and muscled figure until you were left with nothing but confusion.
What had just happened?
That was the second time Jungkook saw you.
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He was drawing again, eyes fixated on the sheet in front of him, colors over colors over colors, sketches and shapes that apparently didn’t have any meaning. It was just a mess, overlapped lines with circles and circles with blurred shapes that he didn’t even know could exist.
He was desperately trying to take his mind off of what he had done, but it didn’t seem to work.
Probably, he was just taking everything too much to heart, and he knew that. He knew he was making a big deal of something stupid but he couldn’t help the way he was feeling.
Why did he have to act like that? Why did he walk away in that way? You possibly thought he was just some jerk playing around, and only that thought made him clench his jaw. But that was his last problem. Not only he did made you think he was an idiot, but he made you feel uncomfortable without even trying. The words you said and the sound of your voice kept on echoing in his mind like one of those stupid songs you can’t seem to send away.
Were you joking? Probably? Did he really made you think he was looking at you in that way cause you were ugly? God, you were way too far from that for him.
And above all of that, why did he even say something like that?
“I didn’t expect you to be like this”, God, what was he thinking about? And what did you think of that stupid sentence? Jungkook let out a low groan, the thoughts invading his head were making it impossible to focus on the drawing.
What the hell did Taehyung do? He said he was going introduce you to him, why did he left like that?
When Jungkook entered their rehearsal room the hyung simply smiled at him and winked in his way, like he had just made some kind of magic happen between you too. Well, it didn’t happen. Everything was just a fucking mess, and the biggest thing heaving on Jungkook’s shoulders was that that was the first time you ever saw him, the first impression you had about him. Now it was gonna be three times harder for him to even talk to you, let alone make a move on you. Jungkook didn’t even answer Tae’s wink, only wanting to end the rehearsals already and go straight home to drown into sleep. But it was late, and he certainly wasn’t sleeping.
Jungkook huffed letting his pencil hit the wooden table.
Was he going to try to change what happened or was he going to leave everything like that? Sure as hell, he wanted to know you. But he just couldn’t help himself, he never felt more frightened in his life to talk to a girl as now, and that feeling made him feel helplessly under pressure. What was he even going to say if every time he opened his mouth, all that was coming out were awkward words? Your face added to the sound of your voice made him look like a poor moron, and he knew deep inside of him that that was your effect on him. It was going to happen again, he knew it. He needed to find a way to not ridicule himself and not make you uncomfortable every time he opened his mouth.
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«What?» Yoongi’s eyes have never been wider than now looking at Jungkook. Now, the maknae was desperately looking for advices, and he knew that Jimin and Yoongi were the right persons for this kind of situation.
«You really did that?» Jimin let his mouth hang open, eyebrows raised.
«Yes» Jungkook sighed «I don’t know what’s wrong with me, God.» Yoongi and Jimin looked at each other, both of their expressions stuttered by what the youngest had just told them. «How can I fix this? I mean I-»
«First, stop dwelling.» Yoongi interrupted his endless rambling, firm tone and eyes pointing directly in his. Jimin nodded. «You’re thinking too much. I mean, do you even think she noticed all of this? Are there any chances she probably already forgot your face?» his words made the maknae feel better for just a bunch of seconds. Maybe you already forgot him. It was a good thing, right?
«You think so?» why did he sound disappointed? Yoongi raised his eyebrows and nodded.
«And if she remembers you, all you need to do is go and talk to her, you can fix this Kookie» Jimin smiled at his friend.
«And say what?» his voice came out louder than he thought, almost breaking in the middle. He was just not that positive. He messed up, and there was something inside him telling him that that was not goin to be the last time.
«Anything?» Jimin made it seem so simple «I mean, anything is better than what you said» he added. Jungkook shook his head. «Sitting here is not gonna fix this» he said again, then taking a sip from his hot coffee.
«I can’t-» his voice suddenly stopped working, his throat holding the words in. His eyes shifted from the wall he was staring to to you, walking into the cafe on your high heels, jeans sticking to your legs like they were handmade just for you, a little bit of messy hair because of the wind running through the streets of the city, hanging from your shoulders. Eyes moving into the cafe like you were desperately looking for something, maybe someone.
«What? It’s her?» Jimin whispered, slightly stretching on the table to get the maknae’s attention. Yoongi simply avoided asking, he knew he wasn’t going to get any answer. So he just turned around looking for your figure in the crowded little shop. When he finally found you, he knew it was you. He had already saw you the other day, and he saw Jungkook’s pants too, but he kept it to himself.
Smirking, he stood up, eventually bringing back Jungkook from his own world. He watched his friend take long steps and cross the room, and his hands started to sweat again, even more than the day before. Yoongi surpassed you just a step before you were in line for the bar, almost making you step on him.
Rude.
Jungkook could already feel himself going crazy, him and Jimin staring at the scene in silence dying to know what Yoongi had in mind. He saw you stretch over his shoulder trying to take a look at the pastry, in the meantime Yoongi stepped towards when another client left the line. Time seemed to slow down for how much it was taking for every single client to order, Jungkook’s agitation growing bigger every second.
When Yoongi’s turn arrived he still couldn’t understand what was going to happen, watching him through the crowd and shifting his gaze from him to you from time to time was definitely not working. He caught Yoongi talking to the employee and a second later he was paying and turning around with who the hell knows what in his big paper cup. Keeping his eyes on the floor and faking distraction, he stepped on your foot and when he raised his head all he did was giving you a shocked look.
Then he did it, making the maknae line wide their eyes like they were four lighthouses, Jungkook literally hold his breath for what it seemed to be like years. His drink was on your clothes, soaking you, your drenched black shirt dripping on the floor. Your face shattered when you realized you were actually soggy, Yoongi gave you an apologetic smile and then he walked out of the cafe as if nothing had just happened. He really hoped Jungkook would understand it was his turn. Well, again, he didn’t. He just stared at you, your face still in shock and your moth forming the shape of an “o”, people surpassing you on the line without even glancing at you. Jimin shook him awake from his trance making him grimace and pushing him from his chair.
«Go, go, go!» he silently screamed moving his hands in the air. “Oh, lord” was all he could think while looking at you standing still and a scared Jungkook walking uncertain.
You stepped to the side when you noticed people kept on surpassing you giving you upset looks since you wouldn’t move from the line, it only took you a few steps to the side to rush into someone. Your shoulder hit his chest and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. It was just not your day.
«I- I’m sorry?» the voice came from beside you, the man standing still against your right shoulder without even moving. What was supposed to be a statement came out as a question and Jungkook wanted to punch himself again. You had to back away to create a little bit of distance before lifting your gaze to him.
When you saw him, it took you nothing to remember him.
«You? Again?» you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You were not this rude usually, you just weren’t that type. But today definitely wasn’t your day. First, someone surpassed you, you just said nothing because you weren’t the type to argue for something so stupid, you even justified him thinking maybe he didn’t notice you. Then he spilled his tea on you, and without even helping you he just ran off as if nothing had happened. Now, him. Was this some kind of joke?
Jungkook couldn’t help but frown at your words, silently and slowly making their way through his body until they reached his intestine and tangled every part of his guts together.
«I- I’m sorry?» he said again. What? You locked eyes with him, cocking a brow at him.
«What are you even sorry for?» you sighed, bending over the table in front of you and grabbing a tissue from the plastic container. He brought his gaze to his friend, eyes still wide and throat completely dried. Jimin showed him a thumb up and suddenly shifted his gaze, in a second he turned around with his cheeks now red. When Jungkook turned again he hissed through his teeth, you did not just caught them and you weren’t staring at him with an even more confused look.
«I- I can buy you some coffee?» he blurted out, his voice cracking in the middle of the question making it almost seem like a prayer. Your lips formed an “o” again, suddenly looking down at your clothes and rushing to clean them with that little tissue. You were just thankful it wasn’t hot, whatever thing it was. Jungkook stood there still like a rock, scared of moving and making everything even worse.
«No, but thank you.» you sighed at the sight of your drenched black shirt, drops on your jeans. What were you going to do now? You had to go to work in thirty minutes, you didn’t have time to go back home and change into something else, your boss was already going crazy with all the work he had to, his reaction at your delay wasn’t something you wanted to experience.
«Please?» Jungkook’s voice seemed to light something in you, lifting your eyes and locking them again with his. That was the moment you really noticed his beauty. And he was just that beautiful. In the meantime, he was really trying not to break out and scream, his tongue was just moving by itself. His mind was totally blank and his hands were so sweaty that they would probably as wet as the shirt you were wearing.
«I don’t have time for coffee now, but thank you.» you declined again, trying to bring a smile on your lips but failing. You sighed and turned, making your way out of the cafe in a matter of seconds. Jungkook stood there with his eyes still wide, watching you walk away and trying to catch just that little bit of air enough to make him survive. It was only when Jimin’s face appeared in front of him that he seemed to realize you weren’t there anymore, and in a second his legs made the work for him again, running out of the cafe like a mad man. What was he even doing? What the hell?
Jimin followed him rolling his eyes, all his hopes that his friend had made it hitting the ground. He had never seen Jungkook like that, not even when he dated that girl he had a crush on for a year. Jungkook had always been charming, he never had that much problems with a girl, there had been times he was more shy, but he had always found a way of breaking his barriers.
This time there was just something different.
When he saw you on the sidewalk his legs fastened even more and he only stopped when he was behind you, quickly grabbing at your wrist and turning you around in an abrupt yank that got Jimin to stuck on place and grimace. He even heard you squint from where he was, and he certainly didn’t miss the smack of your hand on his face once you turned and faced him.
Jungkook’s face heated up, suddenly loosening his grip on your skin and blinking a few times, staring into your eyes, his features unreadable. Silence suddenly seemed to fill the crowded street while you two looked at each other, your face looking regretful the second you realized it was him and not someone who was trying to steal your purse or rape you during full day.
Jungkook was at a loss of words, and when he realized now he had to say something, he panicked again.
«I’m sorry?» that was not happening again, he wanted to scream.
«You’re sorry?» you erupted like a volcano, your arm still in the air even thought his grip was no longer on it. Jungkook’s head slowly shook up and down, gulping harshly.
«What are you sorry for?» your question made him knit his eyebrows. Was it really so hard for him to form a real sentence? The answer was yes. His brain just didn’t seem to work.
«About the coffe?» now, he really wanted to scream and tear his hair out.
He had just scared you and hurt you and all he managed to say was “about the coffee”? What was that even supposed to mean?
«The coffee?» you narrowed your eyes at him, he brung his hand to the back of his neck scratching it.
«The drink?» he said again. For god sake.
«Uh?» you just couldn’t understand. What was he even trying to do? He was sorry? Everything was just so confusing, and if last night you thought just a little bit about what happened yesterday with him, you were sure this was going to be in your head for the rest of the day.
«The drink Yoongi spilled on you?» why was every single one of his sentences a question?
«Who is Yoongi?» you whined without even thinking, but then you grasped it. The rude man was someone he knew. Was something wrong with his friends? First that one yesterday, now this Yoongi.
«Yoongi is-» Jungkook seemed to realize what he had just done and he stopped talking, letting out a tremulous breath. He just told you he knew the man who basically ruined your day. Great job.
«So, are your friends all like this?» you didn’t even know what you were doing, but the stress was just too much to handle at that moment. The man stared at you again, eyes shifting to every feature of your face.
«Uh? Wha- what?» he babbled. Jungkook was loosing it. And Jimin could see it from a block away. He wished he could do something to help him, anything to save the situation, but he just couldn’t. What would he even say, anyway? “Sorry, he just likes you so much that he doesn’t even remember how a normal human acts”? That wasn’t going to work.
«Are you friend with this Yoongi?» you asked. Jungkook nodded slowly, almost uncertain of what he was doing.
«And the one from yesterday was also your friend?» you asked again. This time he frowned, making you narrow your eyes.
«Taehyung?» he wondered, confusion blinking in his eyes.
«I don’t know, maybe? Was it his name? The one that poked me and ran away?» you sighed.
«But he- Oh. I can’t-» Reality hit him, and he had to take a deep breath to stop his dwelling.
«What?»
«I’m- I’m sorry?» there he was again. Was he kidding you? Just when he seemed to know other words, they were there again.
«You already said it, even though it doesn’t seem like you are.» you were really going crazy. Late for work, drenched, without your breakfast and with a charming guy talking nonsense in front of you.
«I am» his voice came out louder than expected, making you unconsciously squint and ward off a little bit.
«Well, thank you, I guess?» you glanced at the sidewalk, then again bringing your gaze to his face. The way the light of the sun hit his eyes made yours stare deep into them, the black pupils and irises almost fading with each other, the little sparkles of the light reflecting in them made them seem like one of the darkest nights, but with the brightest stars you’ve ever seen.
Your mouth ran dry when your gaze met his lips, a soft glow making them look even more captivating, you wondered if he was wearing a lip balm, a part of your mind wondering how it’d taste.
«I’m gonna be late for work» you mumbled. Jungkook shook his head.
«Okay» What? Are you serious, Jungkook? Okay? He visually grimaced at his own words, and for god knows why the corners of your lips raised up just the slightest at his awkwardness.
«I should go now» you gave him a little gentle smile and then turned, finally heading to your car. You had just taken a few steps on the sidewalk across the street when you turned away and realized he was standing still, eyes still fixated on you, but he wasn’t alone anymore. Maybe a friend of his? You hoped he wouldn’t hit you in the head, given the others. You crossed the street again, walking back towards the man and glancing at the ground feeling your cheeks reddening under his sight. 
You stopped a few steps away from him, raising your head and finally facing him. «I’m sorry too» you said, slightly smiling. «You know, for the slap» his lips formed an “o” but he quickly managed to smile, for the first time. And lord, what a smile he had. You swore you never saw something that beautiful. Your breath got stuck in your throat, heart madly beating in your chest, threatening to come out. And you didn’t even noticed, but your smile became a real one, wide and shining with its own light and reaching your eyes. Jungkook’s heart skipped a few beats just at the sight, his legs shaking under his body and a sudden feeling of warmth invading his chest, it was like his guts were back in place.
A drop of rain hit your forehead and in that moment you realized you really had to go, rain wasn’t something you could deal with now, not with your already soaked shirt and your delay. So you just turned again and walked away.
That was the first time you and Jungkook actually spoke to each other, kind of, I guess you could say.
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«Didn’t you two talk?» Yoongi asked running a hand in his blonde locks. There they were again, but this time, thankfully Jungkook would say, they were in his house. He really didn’t know how to handle another one of his friends’ mishaps in your presence, not that he would’ve met you anyway, but here he felt more comfortable. It was normal for them to meet at someone’s place on a Friday night, it’s something they’ve always been doing for a long time that now it was like a tradition. Every Friday they would met and talk, even though they’ve been seeing each other almost every day. And now, it was no difference. Or maybe just one. You. Jungkook wasn’t talking about how much he was excited to perform or how much he loved the new choreography, he was talking about how embarrassing that moment was. Wait, those moments. Thanks to Taehyung, Yoongi and himself, now he had collected a few moments that really made everything seem awkward.
«We did but...» he groaned «Why did you have to spill your drink on her?»
«For you to go help her?» Yoongi made it seem so simple.
«How could I have helped her with her soaked shirt? She had to go to work and you ruined her morning. And if it wasn’t enough now she knows I know you! And you!» Jungkook’s voice cracked in the middle while pointing his accusing index finger towards Yoongi and Taehyung.
«What? How?» Yoongi couldn’t believe his ears. He gave him a chance and he let it slip through his hands like it was a cool chunk of ice.
«He told her» Jimin got in the conversation briefly glancing at his youngest friend. Jungkook was really going crazy.
«And? What’s the end? Tell me you got her number?» Jin rested his forearms on his knees, waiting for an answer that just wasn’t meant to come out.
«You don’t even know her name, do you?» the maknae brung is gaze to Taehyung, his dark eyes almost seemed to surrender in front of all the mess of the situation. The friend sighed, guilt already invading his throat. When he pushed Jungkook in that situation, he thought he was gonna handle it, to him he just needed a little bit of motivation. He didn’t think it would’ve ended like this. He shook his head.
«Great.» Jungkook stood up, unreadable features and body tense.
«But at the end it was good, she smiled at you» Jimin helplessly tried to bring back a little bit of positivity.
«Yes, after I made everything uncomfortable and awkward. How am I even supposed to make a move after what happened? First Teahyung, then Yoongi. Then me!» he bursted out. «The first time was already hideous, but this? I hurt her, let her know that basically all my friends are weird and when she said “I’m gonna be late for work” my answer was “okay”. Who am I even kidding? I-»
«Oh, come on!» Joonie decided to open his mouth, his loud tone made Jungkook shut up, everyone now looking at him. «This is all in your head, Kookie. Stop it. You need to take a deep breath and face this in a different way. Clearly, shutting your mind off and letting your body do the work it’s not what you need.» he raised his eyebrows at him. Jungkook had started pacing, he really wanted to fix things, but every time it seemed to get worse and worse and worse and... worse.
«It’s so frustrating, I swear! It never happened to me, never. I can’t control it, my brain just doesn’t work when I’m with her» he groaned locking his dark locks in his fist and pulling a little.
«Oh, cheesy» Hobi wrinkled his nose receiving in exchange a death stare from Jungkook.
«So you don’t even know her name?» Jin seemed to realize his words only now, eyes wide and moth hanging open. Jungkook clenched his jaw before letting his body falling to the couch. Not even the soft material of the cushions seemed to make him feel better, not even the slightest.
«I don’t know her name» he answered, saying those words more to himself than to his hyung. All of this seemed so stupid.
«Then start from it. Give to this beautiful woman a beautiful name, you can’t keep rambling about someone for about an hour without even knowing their name.» Namjoon’s tone was firm, making its way through the maknae’s ears, his words seemed like playing with him. He was right, he didn’t even knew your name, how the hell was that possible? He had the biggest crush and didn’t know the basics.
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What Jungkook didn’t know and never could imagine was that you were thinking about him in the same moment as he was talking about you to his friends. What happened that morning was still replaying in your mind like a short film, from the moment that Yoongi spilled what you figured out was tea on your clothes to the moment you headed to your car. There was something about that awkward meeting that you just couldn’t seem to shake off. That man was so awkward and charming at the same time that the match sounded both weird and interesting.
Still, you couldn’t hide your annoyance towards him that morning. You couldn’t quite discern if he was just playing with you or if there was a meaning behind his actions and words, I mean, he apologized for his friend so much but he didn’t really act different than him, he yanked you. And apparently without any meaning. He already apologized for Yoongi before, so why follow someone you don’t even know to do it again?
Remembering your slap against his cheek you unconsciously squint your eyes, drowning in the dark. You really wouldn’t have punched him if you knew it was him, but the moment you felt someone’s touch against your skin you panicked. Not that he didn’t deserve it, well, actually he didn’t, but you don’t usually punch people like that, you really thought someone wanted to steal your purse or rape you, You puffed.
You just wished to not bump into him or his friends again, or at least to not be the main character of their misfortunes again.
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Summer was finally coming to an end, and with the end of a season comes the beginning of a new wardrobe, at least for you. You already had clothes for the imminent autumn but with all the money you had saved you could squander a little bit and reward yourself, you worked hard and didn’t even leave for the holidays this year, sad but true. So now you were lowly humming in the street without even realizing it, the music invading all of your senses, the melody taking control of your body like it was made of a thin sheet of glass that could be broken anytime with the slightest pressure.
You entered the shop and removed an earphone, slowly making your way through the crowd and getting ready to buy something as a reward for all of your sacrifices. The sight of the soft fabric of a white dress made your eyes sparkle and your feet started moving towards the mannequin like they were apart from your body, bringing your hand to the cloth you touched the smooth material.
There was no way you were not buying it.
The shape seemed perfect for your body, you could already see yourself wearing it so you were quick to cross the room, ready to grab your hanger. Apparently, not quick enough, but you didn’t notice right away.
Looking through the dresses for your size made you frown, everyone of them either too big or too small. You were almost giving up when your gaze met the tag you were looking for, eyes widening and happiness already creeping up in your body.
Then, a hand came in the way. You watched it grab the crutch, dark ink marking the light golden skin, long fingers closing around the hook. Your breath got stuck in your throat and you really felt all your hopes falling to the ground now. Sure you were not gonna argue with whoever just took away your dream dress, you didn’t even have the right to do it, you should have been quicker before rather than staring at it with dreamy eyes. You were already starting to turn and look for something else with a knot in your throat but you couldn’t help your eyes and followed the arm of the stranger, the skin almost glowing under the light of the shop. You met two broad shoulders, the cleavage of the light shirt he was wearing showing his collar bones and making your fingers tingle at the sight, but if you knew who was waiting for you at the end of that neck you would have already ran away.
The previous night after his friends left Jungkook had spent at least three hours trying to find a way to make a third impression on you, if that was possible, this time preferably good, and he figured out nothing. Eventually he felt asleep all tensed and annoyed, remembering the next morning he had to buy something for Namjoon’s birthday coming in exactly two weeks.
When he woke up today and headed to the shop three blocks away from his house he did not expect to find you there. From the moment he saw you at least a hundred of different emotions had run through his body, starting from worship and ending up with panic, but this time his mind didn’t switch off, or maybe not at all. Listlessly choosing something for Namjoon, Jungkook came up with a plan, and it was apparently clear: buy you a dress and give it to you as both a present and an apology for everything that happened the day before, from Yoongi’s drink on you to the way he kept on making things awkward, and maybe finally ask you out.
So when he saw you staring at that dress with dreamy eyes he instantly walked towards its reproductions, sure as hell that now he had something to work with in his hands. But it was only when you approached the same counter as him that he realized he didn’t have any clue about your clothing size. I mean, he could have guessed it, but it wouldn’t have been the same. He was supposed to ask you and tell you something like “let me offer this to you for making up for yesterday’s mess” and “would you like to hang out sometimes?” but when he tried to speak his voice got stuck in his throat, his hands badly sweating. So he tried to understand what you were looking for, careful not to get caught, and possibly keeping it in mind for buying you something else, and it all worked until he saw your eyes full of that joyful light again. In that moment, his heart skipped a beat as he understood you had found what you wanted.
As I said, this time his brain didn’t stop working, he knew he couldn’t grab the dress practically from your hands, that would’ve been the worst third impression of all times. He just needed to remember the measures printed on that little tag and look for something else. He knew but his hands moved by themselves and Jungkook felt himself stiffening again.
When you locked eyes with him you couldn’t help but snort. What was going on with the universe? You were sure you didn’t do anything that bad to deserve this. And why was he involved in all of your misadventures? Him, him, him, him and him again, couldn’t at least the gods send someone else once in a while to punish you? The fact that it was him made the knot in your throat grow even bigger and you instantly felt a flame of anger burning in your chest. If he was someone else you would’ve probably let go, but not with him and not when he was holding the dress you wanted to buy after long days and late nights of work, stress and a little bit of panic too.
So you did the first thing that came to your mind, you grabbed at the hanger he was holding in his other hand and immediately walked away leaving him with his mouth agape and his gaze digging holes in your body.
You turned the corner and went straight to the changing room, desperately trying to keep yourself from bursting out in the middle of the shop. You closed the curtain behind you and finally took a look at what you were holding. A men’s hoodie. You were going to buy it, wether you liked it or not. Not a big deal, you already had men’s clothes in your wardrobe, right?
Taking a deep breath you sat on the little couch in the fitting room, you were really starting to think he was playing with you. That had to be it. He was just enjoying himself, having fun with making you feel like an idiot. Unintentionally, some tears streamed down you cheeks, all the accumulated stress from work and from the rehearsals you were having almost every day, all the sleepless nights you had in the last three months trying to save money, some days even working your ass off until the first lights of the morning would appear, all the times you felt like you didn’t belong; everything was coming out in the shape of little drops. You hadn’t been crying for a long time and stopping now seemed like light years away, so you got up and went out of the dressing room heading to the checkout without even glancing around.
Jungkook was still in the same place you had left him, and when he saw your cheeks sparkling just in time before you could wipe the tears away he knew it wasn’t because of the sweat this time. His heart broke, features screaming nothing but regret. If only you had turned around you would have seen it even from there.
But instead, you paid your new hoodie and went out, ready to burst out once again you’d be surrounded by the safe walls of your apartment.
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«God, I can’t believe it» Jungkook groaned again for about the tenth time since the beginning of the phone call.
Jimin and Namjoon had been meticulously chosen for today’s vent, and this time he was sure he had something real to ramble on about, it wasn’t all in his head anymore. He had made you cry.
«It was the worst third impression of all times! My plan was good, damn, why do I have to be like this around her? Every single time, it happens every damn time» he hissed through his teeth. On the other line, Jimin was staring at his white ceiling with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed, trying to help his friend as best as he could, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Jungkook had to fix this, again. And Namjoon felt the same way as he took a sip of his coffee, his hair still messy from the long sleep he had just awakened from.
«I know you don’t need to hear it, but you’re the worst suitor on earth» he blurted out rubbing his face with his hands. «How can you expect to be more to her than an awkward weirdo if you can’t even talk or act normally in her presence? At least did you get her name?» Namjoon knew his words were doing nothing but emphasizing the horrible situation but he just couldn’t contain himself anymore. Jungkook didn’t need to be pitied, it would have led him nowhere. The maknae grunted in frustration. That was the only answer Joonie needed.
«Stop everything you’re doing» his words made Jungkook frown.
«What?»
«I said stop everything you’re doing» he repeated again, then taking another sip from his coffee. The youngest stared at the screen in disbelief.
«I am doing nothing!» his high-pitched tone made Jimin squint his eyes.
«Okay, then come to my place for lunch and bring that freaking dress with you» he ordered, now getting up and putting his mug in the sink.
«Can I-»
«Yes, Jimin, no need to ask» the hyung interrupted his friend already expecting his question.
«I’m gonna shower, but please be careful with that dress Kook» Namjoon’s tone softened and his words almost sounded like a prayer, Jungkook couldn’t help but glance at the piece of cloth laying on his couch with a worried face. That was not the right place for it.
«Okay, I got it, I got it» he said more to himself than to his friend.
«See you later» Namjoon got off the phone in a second, already on his way to the bathroom.
«Kookie, I know you can do it, okay? We can’t do more than what we are already doing, we can’t fix this for you, you have to fix it. But we’re here to support you.» Jimin’s words gave birth to a bittersweet smile on Jungkook’s face and he internally thanked God for his friends.
«Thank you Chimin»
They talked for another ten minutes before finally getting off the phone, Kookie’s eyes shifting again to what was supposed to be your dress now and shutting down.
He needed to fix this, again.
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«So?» Jimin patted his fingers on the wooden table moving his gaze between his three friends. Unexpectedly Taehyung had knocked on Namjoon’s door just before they were about to sit down and have lunch with an expression that promised nothing but bad news.
«I wanted to buy you something for making up for what happened yesterday and the day before, but apparently I screwed up again. This is for you.» Jungkook repeated for the fourth time, then reached his hand out on the table, his chopsticks holding an amount of chicken noodles not even possible to put in his mouth. Namjoon opened his all of a sudden and gobbled them in just one gulp, making Jungkook frown.
«You just ate her dress!» Jimin bursted out laughing at the scene in front of his eyes, the corners wrinkling, his melodious laugh even took over Taehyng’s brooding face, the hyung smiled like a baby.
«I’m hungry and it was the third time he was doing that! He practically saw it coming!» he claimed, already taking with his chopsticks another amount of inhumanly impossible food to eat.
«You have yours!» the maknae tried to sound as serious as he could but his smile fooled him.
«Don’t bother me, I’m feeding you and giving you advices, this is the least you could do in return.» he mocked him with a new beaming smile on his face, Kook shook his head and took a bite of his meal.
«I think it could work?» Jimin brung the conversation back to where it was supposed to be, glancing at Tae and Joonie.
«Just try to stick to that» Taehyung said nodding «and don’t forget to breathe. And please, don’t panic again.» he added. Kookie nodded, this time had to be good. «You think you can do that?»
«I have to» he sighed, already feeling under pressure. Jimin and Namjoon smiled at him, trying to reassure him.
«Alright, now Taehyung could you tell us what’s wrong?» the hyung suddenly shifted his gaze to the other maknae seated next to Kook, who raised his eyebrows and shook his head faking a smile. «Come on, we can see it. Tell your favorite therapists what’s wrong and let us help you.» Jimin nodded at his words.
«Alright, I...» Taehyung took a deep breath, his long slender fingers ran through his hair and fisted a dark strand, slightly tugging it.
«Oh my God, this is so hard to say out loud» he groaned. Now, if there was a tiny possibility that they’re friends weren’t worried about him, his words certainly did their job.
«TaeTae, come on» Jimin widened his eyes.
«Alright. Do you all remember Gillyflower?» his words only brung more confusion to their faces. «The girl with pink hair?» he tried again, and this time a bunch of “ooh” and “yes” made him nod. He took another deep breath. 
«Well, I asked her out and she was about to answer when Tannie suddenly started barking and puling at the leash. I tried to mke him stop but he kept getting worse to the point he yanked me. I- I stumbled and trying to grab onto something I...» he harshly gulped, silence invaded the room.
«What did you do? It can’t be worse than what I did, right?» Jungkook’s doe-eyes were staring at his friend’s face trying to catch a hint of his actions.
«I don’t know, it’s the first time something like this awkward happens between of us, but it’s just...» he puffed letting his shoulders fall and then again shaking his head.
«What?» Namjoon were desperate to know now.
«I groped her breasts. But I was just trying to hold onto something and- Oh my God this is the worst thing I could have ever done» he groaned and hid his face behind his hands trying to cover his cheeks flashing red. Jungkook’s eyes considerably widened, Jimin’s lips formed the perfect shape of an “o” and Joonie shut his eyes , almost forgetting how to swallow. Almost.
«What did you do after that? Tell me you apologized, tell me you did it?» Chimin’s gaze was basically begging him.
«Of course I did, but I was still shocked and... I may have left my hands on her for too much time» his voice was muffled by his hands, still covering his reddish face.
«Oh, God» Jimin let out, tilting his head back. «What the hell is happening to us?» he whined, earning a death stare from Namjoon.
«You mean what the hell is happening to you? This things don’t happen to me, luckily.» he stated.
«Oh, please Joon, your face is dirty for all the eggs you have on it. You know you have your bag stuffed with blunders» Jimin whined again and Namjoon pointed his index towards him.
«That wasn’t supposed to come out!» he argued.
«It didn’t! But I’ll blurt out all of your secrets if you don’t admit you can be a weirdo too!» the hyung puffed.
«Please, everyone knows I’m an oddball, there’s no need to argue on that. But my blunders are far beneath theirs!» he pointed at Jungkook and Teahyung the youngest was now trying not burst out laughing for his high-pitched tone. Jimin groaned.
«What was her answer?» Jungkook asked, carefully looking at TaeTae. He gulped.
«She started laughing and I apologized myself again before entering home. I thought she was making fun of me but I realized it was an uncomfortable laugh just after I shut the door. Now every time I see her in the hallway I hide behind the corners and avoid her. She must think I’m an idiot.» Teahyung’s words made Jungkook feel slightly better, maybe it was selfish but he felt less lonely.
«You need to talk to her» Namjoon mumbled with his mouth stuffed of noodles.
«We’ll make up a speech for you too after lunch, alright?» Tae shook his head.
«No need for it, I can handle it. I think» he sighed for the hundredth time.
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The Sunday that followed got Jungkook incredibly frustrated. In two days it was gonna be his birthday and he and his friends had all agreed to take a day off from the devastating rehearsals to celebrate it together, so now there he was,  meticulously watching his figure dancing in the mirror. He hadn’t slept well and his eyes were praying for just a bunch of minutes of rest, body already tired only after an hour of movement. When the music stopped he thanked Jin with a grateful smile before approaching the bench on the side of the room to grab his towel and gather his sweat.
«I think this-»
«Kookie!» Jimin shouted with his eyes wide, his voice echoed in every single corner of the room and in a second Jungkook realized why. He didn’t really do it, please.He let his hand fall at his side, and yes, there it was. Your dress in his hand, now moist and clammy.
His voice burst in the loudest tone he’ve ever used: «Who the hell pulled it out of my bag?!»
The group immediately got closer to take a look at what he was talking about, Namjoon and Taehyung held their breath when the maknae opened the folded cloth revealing the white peace of dressing he had carefully putted in his bag just in case he’d met you here, even though it was quite impossible being Sunday.
«Oh my God, I thought it was a towel and-» Jin started explain himself but got interrupted again by Jungkook’s low groan.
«I am screwed, I give up.» his chest swelled like a balloon and his shoulder raised almost to his ears just to heavily fall a second later. «If this isn’t fate then I don’t know what it is» he complained letting his body go limp after he seated on the bench. And as if what had just happened wasn’t enough his eyes caught your figure in the hallway, your body managing to move graciously on your high heels even though at a speed that seemed almost impossible for you not to fall, your hair swinging with every step.
«Bad luck?» Hobi kneeled in front of him and Jungkook scoffed, shifting his gaze on his muscled legs once you disappeared behind the corner, his dark locks creating a curtain to hide him from the rest of the world while he rested his elbows on his knees.
«Bad luck? This is a tragedy. And not just because of the dress. Everything I did until now is a tragedy. This is just the cherry on top of it all. Maybe this is just not meant to happen and that’s why I keep messing things up.» he grumbled with raspy voice. And he really believed that for a moment, maybe he was right. Everything, every single thing he had done so far had just messed things up more, even though he was desperately trying to do the opposite. He still didn’t know your name but had however already managed to made you feel uncomfortable, hurt you and made you cry. What a charming suitor he was. At this point he could’ve-
«If thinking about it like this makes you feel better.» Namjoon spoke with his gaze on the maknae. He licked his lips and waited for Kookie to raise his head, but it didn’t happen. «You don’t have the dress, who cares? It’s a peace of cloth, Kook. Your apologies are more important and you still have your speech. You can do it.» he kneeled in front of him beside Hobi, finally catching his gaze. What he didn’t expect was to actually find his eyes shining because of the stressed tears he was desperate to hold.
«He’s right, Kookie. Come on, you’re the golden maknae. And if it goes wrong we’ll have finally found something you’re not good at» Jin smiled at his youngest friend, his words made him lightly giggle, Yoongi nudged him.
«Just try again, okay?» Hobi smiled at him and Jungkook had to take a few moments for himself to finally answer.
Probably, no, wait, sure as hell the easiest thing was to give up. You already had a clear picture of him by now, there was no way you were changing your mind with just an apology. He had already apologized for at least five times the other day, and he had made you cry the day right after. So the possible answers now were two: yes or no. Such a big difference between them but such a thin line for him, especially now that he had lost the only thing that maybe would’ve helped him. He didn’t want lie to himself, he knew it was easier to give up and go back to being a normal acting human, not embarrassing himself anymore and feeling like an idiot all the time. But it was too easy like that, and just the thought made him frown. He couldn’t explain what it was to himself, but there was something about you that made him fatally, hopelessly curious. Since the very first moment he saw you, something turned on inside him, and I’m not just talking about his cock.
«Okay» he whispered to himself, the air of his breath fanning the golden skin of his hands. He took a deep breath and stood up.
«What?» Yoongi asked looking at him. Jungkook nodded.
«Okay, but you promise me you won’t do anything?» he pointed his finger against Yoongi’s face and then moved it back and forth pointing at everyone of them. When they all nodded Jungkook knew it was the moment to leave the room. 
Jimin pursued his lips when he saw him walking towards the door and quickly sided him. «Wait, you’re doing it now? Is she here? It’s Sunday!» he spoke so fast and his tone changed so many times that Kook turned to face him with an amused smile, almost forgetting about what he was about to do. «Do you remember the speech?» he asked again. When Kookie nodded and finally left the room Chimin stayed still with his gaze on him, acting like a mummy leaving her little child for the first time to the kindergarten.
«He can do it» Yoongi patted his shoulder.
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You weren’t supposed to be there, not on a Sunday morning when all you wanted to do was drown in your bed and never let go of your sheets without the clock pointing at least at eleven. But you didn’t have any choice when you realized what day it was. It wasn’t just an usual Sunday, your family was coming at your place for lunch in about two hours from now, and you had promised them to cook something special, or at least to try your best. You were already feeling under pressure and your parents weren’t exactly the definition of easy-going people, always ready to judge everything you would do and every step you’d take. No wonder why you’ve grown to be their total opposite, never daring to judge anyone, and you knew they hated it. But you didn’t care and kept doing your thing, without worrying too much. Luckily, distance had made everything so much easier, until this kind of moments. The stress was running through your blood like it was part of your body, you were practically on the edge. You really didn’t want to hear them complaining about your stupid passion and how you should stop chasing your dreams just to find an even more steady job than the one you already had, so you had quickly decided to bring your gym bag here. You had grabbed everything you could find in your house that could have led their thoughts to your athletic side and just stuffed all in the bag now hanging from your shoulder, from your pointe shoes to your sweat shorts.
The lockers were safe and you knew it because you had already done this at least five or six times, so you simply opened the steel door and placed your bag in it with loose motions before shutting it and locking it with you keys. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The stress of your job, the rehearsals, all the money you wanted to save to buy your house and what happened in the last days were hovering on your mind so much that you knew you would have bursted out if you had to worry about your parents too. So this was the easiest way.
Heading to the door you fastened you pace until you got out, the sun made your skin burn and you harshly puffed, already wishing the winter to come.
At the same time, Jungkook was looking for you in the whole building, he even took the stairs and went to second floor once he figured out you weren’t in your usual rehearsal room. He thought you’d be in the changing rooms but he couldn’t afford himself to the risk of finding you half naked, even though the picture of you he had in mind was making his mouth drier every second more while taking the stairs again. It was when he distractedly looked out of the window that he saw you crossing the street. His feet never ran faster than that moment, praying for you to stay on the main street so that he’d found you more easily. He crossed the hallway and made his friend’s heads turn when he rushed in front of their door, that stupid speech replaying in his head over and over again like a prayer.
«Oh man» Namjoon covered his eyes with his right hand at the sight.
Once the maknae was out of the building he welcomed the light of the sun by squinting his eyes, his already sweating body heated up even more while desperately trying to get to you. The street was not that crowded at this time of the morning with the sun almost at his highest spot and the hot breeze threatening whoever was out, so he thought he could make it. Then, he saw you stopping on the sidewalk. Maybe you noticed him? Impossible.
A second later you were opening the door of a taxi and he didn’t know if rather laugh about his bad luck or cry. He could’ve just let go and talk to you the next day, you were definitely going to rehearsal on Monday, or maybe even on Tuesday. But it’s Jungkook we’re talking about, and by now we all know a part of his brain seemed to switch off when it comes to you. Or maybe this time, it turned on. The stress he felt those days had built up so much that he just wanted to burst out once and for all. He was tired of dwelling about his clumsiness and weirdness when he was beside you and didn’t want to feel guilty for making you feel uncomfortable anymore. So he sped up, his legs almost gave in for the big gap he wanted to close in a matter of seconds. 
But he made it. He knocked at your window with his fist, hands sweating and chest raising desperately gasping for air. When you turned and squinted your eyes because of the light of the sun he again swore he had never seen something, someone that beautiful in his life, the rays of sunshine painting little sparkling stars in your pupils and your skin gleaming.
You knitted your eyebrows at the sight, the charming but odd man staring at you as if he had just seen who knows what. What did he want now? You didn’t have time for his teasing, not with all of the things you had to do before the hurricane that your parents were would show up and take over you for the next hours.
«Please» he managed to say, or at least he mouthed it, and a part of him thanked your shut window for not giving him away, but just a little part. If hearing the lack of his voice would’ve made you listen then he would’ve talked with his hands.
With everything he did he was not really expecting you to listen to him, not when he was making things awkward once again, not in this situation. He was hoping it with all of his heart, but he knew it was not going to happen. Indeed, it didn’t happen.
The taxi started and you fixated your gaze on the street without a second thought, already brushing away the weird feeling that his gaze made you feel. You checked your phone screen: 11.34. Great. You were praying every god in heaven to save you from your parents’ likely early arrive when a thump made you both frown and hit the backrest with your head harshly enough to wince. You realized your taxi just hit the one in front of him in a second. Someone was definitely mad at you.
That was Jungkook’s moment. He widened his eyes at the sight and rushed on the sidewalk before he quickly approached your cab. His heart was beating so fast that for a moment he feared for his life. He opened your door without a second thought, you were hissing through your breath, eyes shut and pursued lips. While he took in the sight you felt a gentle hot breeze on your skin. Opening your eyes you gasped when you saw him standing there. Definitely really, really mad.
«I can’t do this» you bursted out loud, more to yourself than to the men that now were both staring at you.
«It’ll only take ten minutes» the cab driver gently smiled at you. The poor man then brung his gaze to the other standing at your door, holding it so tight with his hand that his knuckles were white. You tried to fake a smile as best as you could.
«I’m sorry but I’m running out of time, I’m gonna make it on foot.» you claimed. Before waiting for any answer you shifted your gaze back to the man who was blocking you into the car, his body stiff and not giving you hits of movement. You waited for something, anything, but he just kept staring at you making you feel like a fish out of water and you didn’t have time to deal with his awkward behavior now, you were really late. So you stood up anyway, almost stepping on his toes, and you held your breath while making your way through his body and the car. The way he kept his dark doe-eyes into yours without any sign of backing off made you shiver.
Jungkook harshly gulped when your body slightly touched his, his skin tickled at the feeling, the lightest of touches creating the strongest of the addictions. «I- I can give you a- a ride?» he stuttered, finally removing his hands from the door of the car. You started walking without even turning at his words, too much overwhelmed by the awful morning you were having. Kook was staring at you still in the same place as before, mouth agape and eyes sparkling at the way you were moving your hips, but when he realized you were already on the sidewalk he forced himself to follow you.
«I’ll give you a ride?» why did he keep doing that? That was supposed to sound more sure, more like a statement maybe? You snorted.
«Please, stop it» his presence beside made you even more nervous, what did he want? Why was he doing that again?
«I- I can drive, I can ride you-» what the hell was that? God, he kept making things worse without even trying. Your face immediately shot up, eyebrows knitted together and blood boiling in your veins.
«What I meant is-» he stopped talking again, his feet did the same and for a moment he considered letting you walk away and just give up. With how fast you were walking you were already disappearing into the crowd. But he sided you again.
«Look, I don’t have time for your teasing now, you can do it tomorrow.» you didn’t need to shift your gaze from the sidewalk to know that he was again there.
«What? I- No, I want to do it now!»
Did he really said that? Turn on your damn brain, Jungkook.
You rolled your eyes. «I can’t belie-»
«Can I just give you a ride?» he suddenly blocked your way with his body, arms outstretched and dark eyes praying yours. «Not in that way» he added, desperately trying to fix his stupid mistakes.
You couldn’t understand what the hell he was doing, standing there in front of you, in the middle of the crowd, praying to give you a ride after everything that he had done in just... three times you met? 
«No.» you shook your head and quickly got over him. «In both ways» you added, slightly smirking at yourself for your words. Jungkook sneered too, following you again like a puppy.
«You’d get there faster, please. Just- just a ride?» his continue pleads made you whine and stopping your steps you turned to face him, realizing just now how much he was taller than you.
«I don’t even know your name» you stated, ready to claim your victory. Jungkook let his mouth fall agape while looking at you standing so close to him, not that it was that close, but the rays of the sun were making everything too much to handle for him.
«Jeon Jun- Jungkook?» he managed to say, to ask, voice cracking in the middle.
«You don’t sound so sure of that» strangely, you smirked. Jungkook’s heart almost stopped right there and then.
«I’m Jungkook» he repeated trying as best as he could to smile without showing his nerves on the edge. You took in the sight squinting your eyes at him.
«Okay, Jungkook. I still don’t know you, so the answer is still no» you smiled at him and were about to start walking again but he got in the way a second time. His brain panicked again when he realized he had to say something now, eyes widened and throat dry. Mind blank, totally blank.
«I wanted to buy you something for making up for what happened yesterday and the day before- oh, shit not yesterday. I mean, yesterday and the day before but the day before that too.» he lowly groaned and shut his eyes, already feeling his face heating up. He watched your features change from annoyance to curiosity and then slightly smirking, but he couldn’t quite define if you were just having fun seeing him struggle or if you were actually smiling for his words.
You can do this, Jungkook. You can do this. Just go on.
«Apparently I screwed up again. This is for you.» the only sentence he wasn’t supposed to say came out like it had its own life and the maknae’s eyes widened even more while staring at your unreadable expression.
«So?» you asked folding your arms.
«I- i can’t- oh God» Jungkook wanted the earth to swallow him in. The embarrassment was eating him alive. «I can’t give it to you» he blurted out without even trying anymore to contain his voice.
«Jungkook, I really, really, don’t have the time to deal with this now. My parents are coming over for lunch and I still have to cook, they’re gonna start a-» you started blabbering but stopped when you figured out you were saying too much. «I don’t have time.»
«I can cook.» he claimed «I can cook, I’m- I’m good at it and I’m fast» His face has never been more red than in that moment, not even when he asked her first crush ever out. Never than when he was with you.
«What are you trying to say?» you sighed, again checking your phone, the bold characters of the time made you whine.
«I can- help you with the lunch?» he tried again.«You can trust me. I swear- my friend is a chef. He-»
«Are you serious?» you interrupted his endless speech with a hint in your voice that neither the both of you quite get. Your question didn’t sound like an annoyed one, it sounded more like... Surprised? Kinda. Desperate? Oh, hell yes.
Jungkook nodded, and in a second your wheels brain worked like crazy. It was almost 12.00 and you knew that your parents wouldn’t arrive at the established time, they were probably already in the car looking forward to the moment you were going to open the door and ready to start complaining about how late you were for everything, how your life wasn’t good for you, how you should’ve been more like them. No, you weren’t playing they’re game, not today.
Going to your apartment now would’ve meant arrive in twenty minutes, then you had to make sure everything was in place and absolutely remember to lock your bedroom, your mother had this weird habit to always pry and snoop in your drawers as if you were still a teenager, you hated it. You had to cook and set the table too.
Oh, lord. You couldn’t believe you were really thinking about this.
«I’m Y/N» you sighed, locking eyes with Jungkook. The information you had just given him seemed to make his features even more shocked. 
Y/N, he repeated to himself, finally having a name for your breathtaking face. You had really told him? After all he had done so far?
«Are you really serious? Cause please, I don’t really have time for your teasing.» now it was you the one almost begging.
Jungkook’s eyes widened so much that they almost fell out as he forced himself to nod. «Yes, I- I’m serious. I can help you?» his voice was shaking.
«If you promise your friend won’t set fire to my kitchen?»
Jungkook’s features lost all their hope in a blink hearing your words. He really thought you were letting him in your place to help you considering all the awkwardness between you two? Well, he hoped it. It would’ve been a good way to prove you he wasn’t a jerk and maybe get to know you a little better. It wasn’t fair to be that much head over heels for someone you don’t even know. But that thought vanished in an instant. It took him a few seconds to understand he had to call Jin.
Please, please. He hoped the rehearsals were over and that he had already taken a shower.
«I promise, I swear he won’t do it» Jungkook’s sweaty hands went in his pockets and grabbed the phone. «I- I’ll call him»
You let yourself sigh when he brung the phone to his ear. This was all too overwhelming, the nervousness was eating you alive and the fact that now you had to worry about his friend too made you hold another sigh. Please, tell me he’s not teasing me again. This was your prayer, the words echoing through your mind like a mantra while the man talked to his phone taking a few steps to distance himself from you.
«Jin, please. You own me this for the dress. And I promise I- I will do whatever you want me to do. Just, please do this for me» he prayed lowering his voice and staring at you.
«You’re lucky I just changed. Alright.» Jin nodded on the other side of the line, everyone was staring at him waiting to know what happened.
«Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you» 
«I know, how can’t someone love me?» he scoffed «Where are you?»
«A few block away from the studio, in front of the crossroad, but please hurry up. Really, she’s running out of time»
«Alright, alright. I’m on my way. Don’t say or do awkward things.» that was the last sentence he left him with.
Jungkook stared at you for a little bit before putting his phone back in his pockets, studying the way you were biting your lips and snorting from time to time, fingers playing with each other in nervous movements. He couldn’t help but ask himself why you were so nervous. Your parents were coming over, shouldn’t you be happy to spend some time with your family?
You were desperate, totally overwhelmed from your parents’s judgement, still thinking about their faces when they would see you hired a chief just for a stupid lunch. “Couldn’t you do this on your own?”, “This is ridiculous.”, their voices were already playing in your mind.
You turned to look at Jungkook, his gaze immediately leaving your face and his cheeks flashing red. You approached him in a second.
«He’s coming» he let out a deep breath, and so did you. You didn’t have to worry about lunch anymore, thanks God. «I- why... Can I ask you why are you so nerv- nervous?» his question made your mouth fall agape. Was it that obvious? 
«I’m not»
«Oh» he puffed «O-okay. I’m sorry» you frowned.
«Why do you keep saying that?» Jungkook gulped harshly.
«I- I shouldn’t have asked.» and now he was looking like a puppy for the first time in front of your eyes. For a moment he didn’t seem the charming awkward man that had made you feel uncomfortable anymore. The silence filled the air even though the streets were chaotic. 
Seeing him like that made you speak: «You won’t tease?»
«Wha-What? Why?» Kook thought the conversation was already over, so when you asked him he really didn’t had his brain working. «I mean, why should I t-tease you?» doe-eyes staring directly into yours.
«You always do it» you shrugged. In that moment, Jungkook really felt awful. You really thought all he had done was because he was teasing you?
«I don’t»
«Yes, you do»
«No, I don’t» his voice sounded firm for the first time. Your eyes left his.
«Then this is you? You usually act like... you acted yesterday? And the day before? And the-»
«No, I- I don’t» he sighed «but I’m not teasing you. I never wanted to?»
«Why are you asking me?»
«I’m not! It’s just-» he let the sentence disappear like a speck of dust blown off by the window. «I won’t tease» his voice made you look back into his eyes and the silence filled the space between you two again, your face lost his brightness.
«My parents are not easy-going people. It’s just that.» Jungkook raised his eyebrows.
«Yes, but a chief?» he let out without even thinking, the second he saw your features changing he wanted to slap himself.
«I know, it’s desperate» he held his breath, the guilt already sneaking in his body for letting you think he thought that.
«No!» his voice came out louder than expected «I-It’s not. I was just curious. Maybe I should hire Seokjin too when my parents come to my place. He cooks better than me» you scoffed and his heart sped up like crazy. Finally, he thought. He was dying to hear that sound escape your lips, and now that he was the cause of it he wanted to hear it more.
«Jungkook!» Jin’s voice remembered him what you were really doing and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he turned to watch him get closer with each step. Your mouth hanging open at the sight. Tall, broad shoulders and a charming face. Was it a thing running in his group?
«I’m Kim Seokjin, but call me Jin. I’m your chief for today.» he introduced himself once he stood in front of you.
«I’m Y/N. Thank you for doing this, I’m aware I didn’t give you time to-»
«Don’t worry, really. It’s not a problem.» he smiled. You nodded and gulped nervously before glancing at Jungkook, who was standing there shifting his gaze between you and his friend, praying everything would work out fine.
«Let’s go, you can tell me about what you’d like to eat while we get to your place»
And with that, you nodded at him and gave a smile to the maknae. Jungkook’s heart skipped a few beats.
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«I swear, she has the worst parents ever.» Jin claimed, eyes wide and shocked features. «They really aren’t easy-going people.»
«Did they complain about the food?» Namjoon asked, the hyung raised his eyebrows.
«They didn’t dare, luckily for them,» he scoffed. «but from what I heard from the kitchen that woman really has the strongest self-control ever»
«What happened?» Hobi sat beside him on the couch.
«You mean what didn’t happen. First, when they came in they didn’t even greet her, they just gave her their coats and ran past her like nothing.» he raised his index finger while shaking his head. Jungkook’s eyes widened.
«Then they started complaining about her apartment. “I don’t really know how you like this place so much”, “it’s so small”, “do you even have a second bathroom in here?”, “you should move”. I mean, let her breathe!» he imitated your parents’s voices, an high-pitched tone for your mother and a weird twang for you father. His middle finger went up.
«After that, her mother tried to break into her room as if she’s a fifteen years old teenager. What the hell was that? She even locked it before they came in, I saw her.» and now his ring finger too.
«What?» Yoongi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and neither the others. Everyone’s expression was only screaming shock, staring at their friend like he was telling them a crime novel. Jungkook had his eyebrows knitted together, mouth agape and an emotion neither he could quite get running through his blood.
«I swear I’m not making this up! They’re the worst!» Jin shook his head. «When they saw me serving the plates her mother raised her eyebrows and waited for me to go into the kitchen before she started spitting out all her venom. “Couldn’t you do this on your own? Of course not. You’re still trying to dance, right? That’s why you don’t even have time to learn how to cook”, “your mother is right, you should start to act like an adult, Y/N. I think it’s time for you to stop with that”. It was like being in hell, and I was in my heaven, you know I love standing in front of the stove. I honestly don’t know how she managed to stay calm.»
«Oh, God. She must feel so much pressure» Hobi muttered, Yoongi and Taehyung nodded.
«I know. I could see it in her eyes when I left, she was acting like nothing happened but she really seemed wrecked. She insisted to pay me but I refused her money, I told her she’s fine since is your “friend”» Jin looked at Jungkook, who weakly smiled as a thank you for his actions. He already knew that your parents were not that easy from your words and the way you acted that morning, but God, he never though they’d be like this. How did you even manage to not burst out at them?
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Your pillow was doing nothing to muffle your sobs, they could be heard even with the sound of the TV on and the sheets hiding you from the light light of the screen. Useless to say, you were feeling like shit. You always tried your best but always fail with them. You were used to it, so why were you crying? Again? You wished your parents were different, more amenable, you even wished you were different, the daughter they expected you to be. But you weren’t, and all you were left with was hope, every time. Maybe the next time will be better, that was what you usually told to yourself, and that was probably why you ended up crying this time too. You needed to stop it and face the fact that it was not going to be better. You weren’t the problem, and deep inside you you knew it.
You simply needed to face it.
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Finally, here comes today. It’s weird for you to think this, but you actually want to meet Jungkook, to thank him. The awful night you had made you think of how hard you try with your parents even though you keep telling yourself it’s not true. After having a chief cooking for you, the only thing you can do is cope with it. You can’t deny you were being anxious for the whole time, still skeptical about the situation, afraid that Jungkook was maybe teasing you again and his friend was no one but a someone looking for fun him too. But he wasn’t, he’s been nice for the entire time, always smiling and trying to make you feel comfortable, he sure knows how to marvel a new client. You saw him blinking a few times because of your parents’s words, but you’re grateful he didn’t tell you anything. He was professional and friendly, and you feel so sorry about not paying him and making him deal with the awkward lunch of you and your parents.
Thus, you are now walking in the studio hoping to find Jungkook or maybe one of his friends, not sure of what exactly are his schedules. You look for him until you realize you’re already five minutes late for your rehearsals so you decide to rush back in your room. What you didn’t expect is to find him at your doorframe, eyes shifting from person to person. His figure makes you hold your breath, his features taken by whoever his looking for, lips pursued, tall and muscled body wrapped in a pair of black jeans and a gray shirt.
«Jungkook?» you call. Jungkook’s heart drops when he realizes it’s your voice, then in a second the embarrassment is there again, making his ears and cheeks flashing red.
«H-hi?» he slowly moves his stare until it’s on your face.
«Were you looking for me?» his eyes wide, he weakly raises his eyebrows and now his lips are slightly parted in a pout.
«N-no? Yes, I mean no, I- fuck» he mutters, shutting his eyes at the end of the uncommon answer and hissing under his breath. You knit your eyebrows. Once he opens his eyes again you can’t help but smirk, just a little bit. With the half-gone sensation of him teasing at you it’s more easy to do it.
«I- what was the question?» he really doesn’t know how to answer you. You scoff and shake your head.
«Never mind, I was looking for you but now I really can’t talk. Do you have some time later?» your uncertain tone makes you cringe, again feeling weird in front of him. You can’t help it, it’s just something that happens every time in his presence.
His brain stops working again. «Oh, yes? Y-yeah»
«What- what time do you get off?»
«I- well, I- uhm... Yoongi!» he suddenly screams, panicking and widening his eyes when he shifts them from you to his friend, his tone radiates nothing but frustration.
Thanks God, he thinks, but a second later he’s already regretting it. You quickly turn to see his friend approaching you in heavy footsteps, and when you link his face to his name another wave of uncomfortableness sneaks in your body.
Yoongi looks at you only when he sides his friend, gulping harshly and trying to fake a smile as best as he can. «Hi, I’m Yoongi?»Why do they all speak like this? 
He shifts his eyes from you to Jungkook and viceversa, hoping someone to talk and tell him what the hell is he doing there with you two. When Jungkook finally speaks his voice his shaking. «What dime do- do we get o-off?» his eyes are basically praying Yoongi to answer.
«I think at seven?»
«Oh» he lets out, lowering his gaze on you again. You try to shrug off the mix of emotions his dark eyes give you.
«Okay, I... I’ll wait for you? I guess, if you tell me-»
«13» Yoongi interrupts your blabbering seeing that the maknae’s face is as blank as a white sheet paper, still in shock from what’s happening, he probably wouldn’t have known how to answer you.
«Thank you. See you later then» you try to smile without letting your uneasiness creep in and quickly enter the rehearsal room, letting out a deep breath.
«You know you’ll have to talk to her later, right? And what was she talking about?» Yoongi asks as soon as you can’t hear him. Jungkook shrugs.
«She- she wants to talk? I’m gonna die in the awkwardness, I know it. I’m gonna embarrass myself so much I won’t even be able to breathe, fuck.»
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«Y/N?» Jungkook stares at your reflection in the mirror, his movements suddenly stop nd Hobi frowns at him.
«Jungkook, what are you doing?» he screams over the music. The maknae blinks a few times before he understands you’re looking at him and he’ll make everything more awkward if he keeps standing still like this with his eyes on you. Thus, he takes a deep - deep - breath and  counts the time again before catching up with the moves.
His body makes you hold your breath, his movements are clean and outright, his style is impactful, even the small details incredibly focused and accurate. His muscles twitch under the clothes, and you can outline the muscles of his legs even without even trying. Only the sight makes you shudder. His body is something you really didn’t dwell on, too much taken aback from the way he usually acts around you, but having a show like this in front of your eyes is something you can’t really turn away to. The way he moves his hips in a particular move has you clenching around nothing, and you suddenly blush at the thought of how he’d move them in a different situation, your heart beats faster.
Jungkook tries to not let your presence influence his rehearsals but he can’t help to steal a few glances at you while he moves on the rhythm. When he sees you blushing and glancing down his body he can’t help but smirk a little bit, even though his heart beats louder with every second. He glances away again when you eventually raise your eyes to his face, body stiffening in an second.
When the music finally stops and you seem to wake up from your trance you find yourself looking at the others, realizing only now that you probably should have asked before coming in the room like this, so you stand up and go out in a second.
Yoongi suddenly runs behind you.
«Y/N? Right?» you have no chance but to turn and nod.
«I’m sorry, I sho-»
«You can stay.» he smiles at you «And I’m sorry for the tea, the other day»
«Are you sure?»
«About the tea? I’m really sorry» he bits the inside of his cheek.
«No, I mean are you sure I-»
«Oh, yes. Jungkook would like it if you stayed» he suddenly points his thumb to Jungkook, who’s staring at the two of you with his lips parted and apparently in trance like you were just a few seconds ago. When your eyes lock with his you shrug to hide the weird shiver sneaking into your back.
«Okay, then» you smile at Yoongi and head back to the bench at the side of the room. 
You spend at least twenty five minutes staring at Jungkook, your eyes rarely meet the figures of his friends, completely taken by the way he moves and the emotions he makes you feel with every song. At the beginning the maknae feels his cheeks heating up and his body as stiff as a trunk, but with the time passing by and the seconds becoming minutes he slowly gains a little bit of confidence, and when you see him even more free and secure you can’t help but take in the sight releasing a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding. He’s like a magnet, some weird kind of energy attracts you to him, maybe it’s the way he speaks with his face or the way his eyes seem even darker and deeper when he sometimes glances at you and immediately glances back. Time seems to run and before you know it the music stops again and the group is lets out uneven breaths, heading to the bench you’re sitting on to grab their towels.
You feel your cheeks heat up when you notice almost every one of them glance at you with a look you can’t really read. Jungkook is still in front of the mirror, eyes completely focused on the way his body moves and repeating movements like a mantra. When he finally stops and turns around his gaze locks with yours, his heart pounds in his chest, palms sweaty all of a sudden.
«Kook, here!» one of his friends throws him a bottle of water and the man quickly catches it bringing it to his lips and taking a few sips. You watch the way his adam’s apple moves from your seat. He closes the bottle and finally heads to the bench, he feels so nervous he’d do something awkward and make you both feel uncomfortable that he almost thinks of running away. The others seem to quickly disappear to go to change and when he finally stands beside you you don’t really know how to act. The silence fills the room and makes you wince, your tongue comes out to wet the petals of your lips, Jungkook holds his breath.
«I like your style of dancing, the way you move» you blurt out. The maknae seems almost shocked at your words.
«I- I like it too» and here we go again. «I mean, I like yours too?»
«You watched me dancing?»
Jungkook groans. «I- oh, ye- yes?» he quickly gives up on lying «I watched you»
«Oh, I didn’t notice» you nervously smile. «Thank you, then»
Jungkook brings his white towel to his neck, wiping the sweat from his skin. That stupid action hits you like a wrecking ball.
«I’m- I’m sorry for everything that happened,» he speaks without thinking «I- I never wanted to tease you. I’m really sorry it- it came out like that. Really sorry.» his tone is shaky and he still can’t believe he managed to let out a full sentence without embarrassing himself or you. For some kind of reason his words make your gaze deepen in his, the weight of your irises almost crashing down Jungkook’s mind.
 You shake your head. «You apologize every time» a smile breaks through your mask.
«I don’t want to... make you feel uncomfortable? It’s just... I’m really so- sorry if it came out in the wrong way. I always end up embarrassing myself but I wanted to make a good impression, it’s just-» he suddenly stops talking, feeling all of a sudden even more nervous to say the words he was almost spilling out, he scraps at the back of his neck.
«You make me nervous» he really said it. 
His words hit you like a train, fast enough to make you doubt you really heard them and hard enough to stun you. «I make you nervous? Oh, I’m sorry I-»
«No, no, no, no» he quickly complaints «In a good way, I- I guess?» 
«What do you mean?»
Jungkook opens his mouth to speak a few times but always fails and closes it, before putting the towel on the bench and harshly gulping. «I- Can we talk about something else? Please?» he almost whines, making a weird smile form on your lips.
«Do you want to go to the cafe?»
He nods at your proposal, lifting his index finger. «Just give me a minute to change and-» he lowers to grab at all his stuff on the bench but unintentionally hits the bottle of water which falls to the ground. He lets out a deep shaky breath, the words I’m so bad at this echoing in his mind. You manage to bend over and grab it but at the same time he takes a step towards it to do the same, stopping when he sees your hands holding the bottle. When you raise back, the view you meet with makes you hold your breath and your cheeks red like peppers, Jungkook is not quick enough to rush back, and you can’t help but feel uncomfortable again, but this time there’s a different emotion too that you’re not quick enough to grasp.
It happens in a matter of seconds, but it seems like minutes when you glance at him, standing tall and looking at you bewitched by the sight of you like this. And he needs to remember himself you’re actually here to hold back the dirty thoughts that are already filling his head. You gulp hard, your eyes scanning his beautiful features and saving the breathtaking sight, his crotch almost touching your cheek because of the lack of distance. And you can’t deny, your thoughts take you to a different dimension that makes you fucking throb.
«Just- give me- give me a minute?» Jungkook stutters with a deep low voice, heavy breath and cheeks heating up.
«This are the kind of things that makes me think of you teasing me» you don’t even know where your words came out from, how’d you manage to make a full sentence still watching him from the same position.
«I swear, I didn’t want to-»
«It’s okay» you unintentionally lick your lips and he finds it even harder to keep a clear head, his cock already hardening. «Go?»
He slowly nods waking up from his trance, and manages to rush back into the fitting room with fast steps and heavy breathing, hoping that the others are not there. Not now that with every steps he takes he feels harder with the image of your eyes looking at him from down.
«Fuck» he hisses letting his bag fall to the bench. Luckily, no one’s here anymore and he’s only left with his boner. What is he supposed to do now? He can’t just change and go out, you’d see it, definitely.
Fuck.
Jungkook quickly heads to the door of the bathroom and takes a deep breath before locking it, lowering his sweat pants and his boxers on his thighs. The second the material doesn’t hug him anymore his cock jumps to his stomach, tip already red and dripping with precum. How do you manage to get him this hard without even trying?
His hand immediately wraps around his shaft, squeezing himself a little bit, just enough to make his head fall back and his lips part letting out a strangled whine. 
«Fuck» he hisses before he starts moving his hand, his mind going back at you and how damn good you looked before at the height of his cock. The first time he masturbated thinking about you sucking him dry he didn’t really think he would ever have a picture of you to accompany his actions to. And now that he has it, he can’t seem to get enough of it. You’d look so fucking good giving him the blowjob of his life, hollowing your cheeks and wrapping him in your mouth, he’d fuck it so good you’d be drooling and gagging for him. His thumb slowly caresses his frenulum and he twitches under his hand, stroking himself faster and harder. He doesn’t even realize it but the image of you he has in mind is making him louder than he usually is, panting and hissing, begging to explode.
«Oh my god, fuck.» he groans.
You can’t hear him from where you are, but your tights are tightening anyway. What happened just a few moments ago is replaying in your mind over and over again. The view he gave you of him staring directly into your eyes while you were basically facing his cock it’s making you go out of your mind. You can’t deny he’s charming, with features that make you feel dizzy, but this was too much to handle even for you. Your mind can’t help but fantasize how he’d fist your hair while you’d lick him, and just the thought makes you clench around nothing, the wetness between your folds already soaking your knickers. You try to push the image away, but the way you’re desperately squeezing your thighs for some kind of friction tells a total different story.
Jungkook bites his lips, his abdomen twitching and his shoulders heavily raising.
«Y/N» he whines, picturing you on your knees for him. In his mind, your hands are one on his inner thigh and the other playing with his nipple, twirling it between your index and thumb and making him even more sensible.
«Shit, so good» his voice is husky, sure as hell it would make you shudder and fall on your knees if you’d only hear it. His movements become more sloppy, the knot in his stomach almost about to burst. He groans and speeds up even more, hips practically hitting his hand with every stroke. He imagines your thighs tightened, the wetness in your folds, the way you’d taste, and he feels even closer.
«So fucking good»
Jungkook spits in his hand. His breath stutters more, and he suddenly doesn’t remember how to breathe anymore as he strokes himself harder, the lewd sound of him shoving in his fist becomes louder, the only sound feeling the bathroom and the fitting room.
The thought of you cupping his balls and massaging it makes him do the same thing, he pictures your tongue licking and swirling around the head of his cock. That is the last chunk he needs to come undone in his palm, spatters of white hitting his chest as he fucks himself through his orgasm until he’s too sensitive to even make one more stroke, letting his head resting on the door behind him. Eyes closed, heavy breath and mouth completely dry, Jungkook takes some time to recover from the heavenly climax he just reached.
God, what he’d give to know that he had the exact effect you had on him, but you’re just too shy to do something about it here. If you were home, well that would be a different thing. You’d help yourself with your vibrator, fucking it into you like it was him. But now, now you’re just trying to contain your thoughts, waiting for him to come out and go to the cafe.
When you realize it’s been a while since he disappeared you decide it’s better to go and see if everything’s okay. Standing up you unsurely walk to the door of the fitting room, the structure of the building being always the same makes finding the way easier. You knock at the door.
«Jungkook? Are you okay?»
«I- uhm, I’m coming, give me a second!» he answers back with a high-pitched tone, so you nod and go back to your bench, waiting for him. It takes him another three minutes to finally come out, his hair are a little bit messy and you think he must’ve ran his hands through them a few times.
«Are we- are we still going?» he asks. With your worries at the door of the fitting room he thought you might have heard him before, but when you nod and smile he lets his previous thoughts fade.
You head out of the studio and to the cafe, trying to ignore the way your panties practically slips against your folds. Jungkook tries to think about what to say and how to begin a safe conversation for the both of you without feeling uncomfortable or awkward but he just can’t seem to find nothing else than the question he asks.
«You wanted to talk?» lowering his gaze to his side he looks at you walking in silence. You quickly nod.
«I wanted to thank you, actually» you turn to smile at him, the butterflies in in stomach invading every part of his body.,«You know, for Jin.»
«Oh, no- no problem» he smiles back, his eyes sparkling and you can’t deny the sudden warmth you feel in your chest. «It’s the least I could do, for what happened?» his sentence sounds again like a question, but by now you’re kinda used to it. You scoff.
«Let’s say I forgive you for the dress and the awkward meeting» you tease. His eyes squint and he wrinkles his nose.
«That wasn’t my fault» he murmurs.
«Your friend?»
He nods. «Teahyung»
«Well, then I forgive Teahyung and you for the dress» you smile again, his heart is beating like crazy.
«How much do I have to embarrass my-myself for the drink Yoongi spilled on you?» he’d like to giggle but he feels so freaking nervous that all he can do is let out a puff.
«I don’t know, you’re pretty good at that. I’d end up enjoying the show eventually and it wouldn’t be fair, I’d let you go on» you tease again. Jungkook’s cheeks heat up. His brain trying to understand if you’d say something like this because you like the way he acts around you or just for the fun of teasing him. The truth is, neither you know it now.
«It’s the thing I seem to be better at» your giggle makes him feel lighter.
«I was kidding» you stop your steps and he realizes you’re already in front of the cafe.
«You’re forgiven, more than forgiven. I actually feel like I owe you something now» you explain looking directly in his dark eyes, and damn, he’s really beautiful.
«Oh- no, no! Don’t, please» he shakes his head. «I- I wanted to make it up to you, you don’t owe me anything»
«Well, let me get you a coffee or something you’d like at least?» you point at the shop behind you. Jungkook licks his lips and takes another deep breath before nodding, following you in and trying to look elsewhere but the way you swing your hips with every step. You’re gonna be the death of him, and he’s slowly falling even more with every word you say.
Thanks to the time the cafe is almost empty, only two or three clients are sit on the chairs at the counter. Nevertheless, you sit at your favorite table, the one in the corner always forgotten by practically everyone. There’s something about this table that makes you feel safe, maybe it’s because no one seems to look at it, sometimes even the waitress forgets it.
«I’ll get a tea» you announce without even glancing at the menu, Jungkook tilts his head to the side and hides his head behind it. You wait for him to choose what he wants and when he’s done you raise your hand to the waitress behind the counter. The woman quickly walks to you, giving you a gentle smile.
«What can I serve you?»
«A tea for me»
«I’ll have a Red Velvet latte» Jungkook says, leaving you amused by his choice. The waitress quickly nods and leaves you with another smile.
«Red Velvet?» you ask «I’ve always wanted to try it but I always end up with tea or coffe» you reveal, Kook raises his eyebrows.
«I like- I like it. Maybe you want a sip?»
«Don’t worry, I’ll get it the next time»
«We can switch drinks if you want» he says as the same time as you.
«Really, Jungkook, don’t worry» you smile at him.
«Anyway, I really am thankful for Jin yesterday. He helped me a lot, without him I’d probably end up having a breakdown» you scoff at the end of your sentence even though it’s true. Jungkook watches you as you speak, completely taken by your words and the way you move your lips, your voice seems to be the only thing catching his ears now, not even one of his favorite songs playing in the background gets him.
«Thank you for being so nice and help me, Jungkook. It was Sunday and-»
«Hey, no problem» he cuts off your rumbling with his hand on yours, and the second he realizes what he has just done he takes it away with wide eyes. The only trace he leaves on your skin is the dampness of his sweaty palms.
«I’m- I’m sorry»
«Stop it, please» you almost whine and his features instantly sadden, afraid he just made another mistake. He tries to hide his expression but fails, and the guilt sneaks into you making you shake your head.
«I mean, stop being so stiff. Tell me, what is it?» you ask.
«What?»
«What do I do to make you this nervous?» you ask again. «I can try and-»
«It’s not you.» he cuts you off again. «I- I mean it is you, but it’s me. I-» he stutters.
«I can try to hide my face if you want» youironically propose as you grab the menu and cover your face with it. Jungkook frowns but immediately smiles at your silliness. «Does it work?»
«It- It’s not making any difference» he holds back a laugh.
«Are you sure?» you giggle. He shakes his head.
«I am, just- please, look at me» his words play a strange trick on your mind, making you harshly gulp as your heart skips a few beats. It’s noy like he had just said something that important, but your mind goes blank for a second.
«Y/N?» he calls, eyes fixated on the menu you’re holding. He stretches his arm out and grabs at the paper, slowly lowering it from your face. Your eyes, your nose, your lips. Jungkook stares at every feature of your face taking in the sight in front of him, the power you have on him is fucking scary, and he’s realizing it for the first time now looking in your eyes.
«What happened?» he lets out in a whisper, not really certain of his voice at the moment. You gulp and shake your head. You don’t even know what happened, how are you supposed to explain him?
«There you go, your tea and your Red Velvet» the waitress comes in the way, and you thank her in your mind for saving you from the awkward situation you just putted yourself into. However, the interruption is fast and she leaves in a matter of seconds leaving you with your drinks.
You can’t help but glance at his glass, the crimson color of the drink intrigues you and the chocolate chips on top are the perfect frame. Jungkook lifts it from the table and stretches his arm again towards you, putting the drink basically under your nose.
«Try it» he manages to say holding his breath. He doesn’t even know where he gained all of this boldness, he just did it without thinking. And now that you stare at him he’s beginning to think he’s making things awkward again.
Your hands cover his, giving birth to another session of butterflies in his stomach and a shudder running down your spine. Jungkook understands he has to remove his hand from the glass to make you drink and he slips away like he just got burn by a blazing fire.
Taking a sip you let yourself taste the sweetness of the latte and the chocolate chips before giving him his drink again, deciding this will definitely be your next order at this place.
«It’s so good» you whine, Jungkook smiles.
«It’s one of my favorite drinks, Jin- he always tries new things and likes to feed us like babies. He introduced me to this»
«I really like it» you bring your cup of tea to your lips, taking a sip. «My tea is so boring now» his smile widens.
«We can really switch drinks if you-»
«No, don’t worry, really»
He nods, taking the first sip of his Red Velvet.
«So Jin is kinda like the mama of the group?» Jungkook smiles at your comment.
«He is the oldest» he nods. «He likes to take care of us and we like to eat» you giggle at his words.
«His cooking is really good, I haven’t eaten that good in months. I should have insisted more on paying him» you take another sip from your tea.
«Trust me, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it» Jungkook smiles at you, and it’s a matter of seconds before he finally noticed he’s not stuttering anymore. In fact, he feels more comfortable. «He was happy to help»
«Oh, trust me, he helped me a lot»
You try to think what would’ve happen yesterday if it wasn’t for him, the result would have been even worse than it already is. Jungkook’s heart warms up knowing he was really able to help you, he made something right. The smile you have on your face makes him want to work even more to create a brand new one.
«What about Yoongi? Does he spill his drinks on everyone?»
«No, he doesn’t» Jungkook scoffs and avoids telling you the reason why he actually spilled it. «He’s the second hyung. Actually, he’s usually very quiet. His stage name is Suga»
«I heard about him» you raise your eyebrows. «Someone told me he injured his shoulder fighting over a first prize but I didn’t think it was him they were talking about, and honestly I didn’t know if it was true» 
The maknae shakes his head. «It’s not true. He actually got injured while working, he had to find a job to pay for his dance lessons and eventually he started a delivering job. He got hit by a car.» Jungkook stares at the wooden table «People often say that or that he tried to beat one of the judges and got kicked in his ass. I don’t get why they like to make up something so stupid» an heavy sigh leaves his lips.
«Last year I broke my uncle because I was pushing myself too hard for a contest and eventually I didn’t perform. I heard people say I couldn’t ‘cause I was pregnant» you tell him, the memory still makes you wrinkle your nose. Jungkook’s eyes widens before he opens his mouth.
«I hate rumors» he mumbles. «Who- who do you want to know about now?» he stutters a little bit, deciding to bring back the conversation to a positive vibe.
«Taehyung? Was it his name?» you squint your eyes.
«Yes» he nods. «Taehyung is the second maknae and a fashion icon in the group, we always try to look as cool as him but he just has that something that makes you give up and stay in your sweat pants.» you giggle at his comment and he can’t help but smile at your sparkling eyes.
«He doesn’t usually act like the first time we met, he’s pretty confidential.» Jungkook takes the last sip of his Red Velvet and you do the same with your now almost cold tea while you take in all the informations.
«Namjoon is the dad of the group, he’s always willing to give you advices but at the same time able to give you a good shake. He and Jimin are my go to when I need to talk to someone, but the others are pretty good at listening too. Jimin is the third maknae»
«Who’s the first?»
Jungkook puckers his lips. «Me» 
«How old are you?»
«I’m twenty two» he answers, remembering this is the last day he gets to say it. For a little moment he thinks of you at his birthday, but he forces himself to push the picture away, it would be weird to invite you when you’re talking fr the first time.
«I’m older than you!» you can’t help but exclaim, Jungkook licks his lips.
«Really?»
You nod.«I’m twenty four»
«How- how should I call you then?» he bits his lips, a little bit of nervousness sneaks again into him, worried you don’t like the way he has been talking to you.
«Oh, please don’t call me noona!» you shake your head and smile at him.
«Are you sure?»
«Yes, Jungkook. Don’t change the way you were talking to me, I liked it. It was natural» you smile at him, your heart beats faster when a smile shines on his face and lights up his features. Jungkook is trying to be as natural as he can, trying to speak without blubbering still stunned by your presence in front of him, and hearing those words make him less tense.
«Hoseok is the only one left. He’s a ray of sunshine, always able to make you smile and laugh. His stage name is J-Hope. He’s a spring, his movements are as fluid as water. Oh, and he can’t hide his expressions whenever he’s angry, even though it’s difficult to annoy him. His face goes like this» Jungkook’s try to emulate his friend is quickly cut off by your bursting laugh because of his expression, and he can’t hold back his giggles at the sound of your happiness.
«Sounds like a beautiful group» you say when you finally stop laughing, your cheeks are hurting while you take a look inside your mug, realizing only now it’s empty.
«It is, they’re my family» the tone he uses makes a knot built up in your throat, smiling melancholic. And who the hell knows why, Jungkook notices it. 
«Is- is something wrong? Did I say-»
«No, no, no. It’s fine, I’m fine» you quickly say smiling again. He would like to ask you what’s wrong again until you’d probably end up answering him but he thinks he’d invade your personal space and annoying you.
«Are you sure? I- I know I ask this a lot but-»
«I’m sure, thank you for asking» you interrupt him with another gentle smile. Jungkook knows it’s not true, but he nods anyway, bringing his gaze to his empty glass. His action makes you bring yours to your phone, unlocking the screen and realizing only now it’s almost eight and a half.
«I should go now»
He raises his glance, the feeling in his chest it’s telling him to not let you go but he can’t do that.
«I’ll see you tomorrow at the studio?» you ask him while getting up from your chair, rummaging through your purse looking for the wallet. Jungkook is about to say yes when he remembers tomorrow it’s their free day.
«No, not tomorrow» he smiles at you getting up and producing a shrill sound with his chair against the floor, his cheeks heat up for the fiftieth time only in an hour.
«Oh, I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday then? Or whenever we-»
«Could you give me your number?»
If he thought his heart already risked a heart attack many times with you, then now he should be dead from the way it’s beating. Blood running through his body so fast that he can hear it his in his ears, the tip of them and his cheeks flashing red, palms sweating more than before. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked you.
You stare at him for a few seconds, completely stuttered by his question as you gulp harshly and blink a few times.
«You- you promise you won’t send me nudes?» you joke, and this time you are the one who’s left with her mouth agape, wondering where the hell that just came out from. «Oh my-»
«If you don’t ask for them I won’t» Jungkook scoffs, the fact you just said something like that is making him feel lighter. You raise your eyebrows at him.
«I won’t, I surely won’t» you quickly rebut but you’re afraid he might be offended so you keep adding words making everything worse. «I mean- not that I wouldn’t like them, it’s just-»
«Y/N» he interrupts your dwelling. «I- I won’t send or ask for nudes» he laughs at his own words at the end of the sentence, making you grimace.
«I’m- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that»
«It’s okay» he smiles at you and you let out a shaky breath before putting ten bucks on the table and heading to the door with him.
Jungkook dials your number on his phone and quickly sends you a message to let you save his, still freaking out in his mind for what happened in just an hour of being with you.
The afraid of being awkward he felt at the beginning is still there, but he feels more comfortable now that he knows a little bit about you. He’s still nervous, palms still sweaty and heart still beating like crazy, gaze still trying to lock with yours just to shudder and blush under it. He likes the way his nervousness shaded with the comfortableness you made him feel talking to you, his chest both threatening to explode because of the tension but still tasting the sweetness of the naturalness and ease, the combo is one of the weirdest to ever exist, but it’s true.
«Goodbye, Jungkook» you smile at him after putting your phone back in your purse. You think about your actions for a moment before quickly tiptoeing and leaving a soft peck on his cheek that makes him almost feel dizzy. The way your soft lips touched his skin will haunt him even in his dreams tonight. He’s not rapid enough to smile at you while you turn and walk away, too shocked by your actions, but he smiles anyway.
This is the first time Jungkook realizes he just had a bite of the cake, and now he wants to eat it all.
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«Are you kidding?» Taehyung’s deep voice resonates through the stairwell and Jungkook can hear it even by pulling his phone away from his ear.
«I’m not, Tae» he rushes to the door and hangs up before opening it sure that his friend is already there. In fact, he is. Standing still in front of him in his Gucci palazzo trousers looking like a model.
«Happy birthday, Kookie» he smiles at him and hugs him tight making Jungkook chuckle.
«You just said it on the phone»
«I know» he pats his shoulder. «Where are the others?»
«They’re coming» Jungkook takes a look to his lounge, the table is already set and the food is almost ready, Jin will be proud of him.
«Is she coming too?» Taehyung asks, Jungkook turns like top.
«What? No»
«Why not?»
«I don’t know... we don’t have that much of intimacy. And with you?» he knits his eyebrows thinking of the possible ending of doing something like that. «She’d probably feel like a fish out of water and you’re gonna embarrass me if I’m not the one doing it» he shakes his head.
The bell rings and Kook rushes to the door to welcome his friends, Hobi and Jin are standing there with the biggest smiles on their faces and hands full of envelopes, smiles as bright as the sun.
«There will be a day when you’ll be old and people will make fun of you, and it’s coming! Happy birthday!» Jin hugs the maknae laughing for his own words and Jungkook does the same. Hobi joins the hug, making Tae grimace and run to them.
«I feel alone» he mumbles before wrapping his arms around the three of them, Jungkook in the middle is almost dying, being the burger in the middle of the bread.
«Happy birthday!» Hobi screams, his voice echoing in the hallways remembers Jungkook the door is still open.
«Okay, now set me free» he laughs. «Where are the others?» their grip on him loosen and he finally closes the door.
«They went to buy you a cake, Seokjin made you one but Joon ate it last night without knowing it was yours» Hobi burst out laughing.
«It was obvious! He should’ve known it!» Jin screams frustrated with his eyes wide.
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«Look at that!» Jimin points at the cake through the glass, his eyes sparkling at the sight and his mouth begging to taste the sweetness of the sponge cake. He looks like a baby.
«Ugh, Chimin! It’s for Jungkook, not you!» Namjoon scolds him making the corners of his mouth drop.
«I know what he likes!» he says back. Yoongi shuts his eyes, they’ve been in here for almost ten minutes now, fighting over which cake they could buy and not really getting anything.
«Do you-»
«He’ll like that» Yoongi cuts off Joonie’s words and point at the cake nodding to the pastry chef behind the counter who quickly smiles at him.
«Could you write “Jungkook” on top of it?» Jimin asks with a kind smile, the baker nods and he raises his eyebrows at Namjoon.
«See? It’s gonna be perfect, you need to listen to me!»
Namjoon sighs and shakes his head, taking a glance out of the shop to see his girlfriend still in the car waiting for them, eyes fixated on her phone.
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Your parents had decided to ring your doorbell without telling you they were coming over. Luckily - or unfortunately - it’s Tuesday, and on Tuesday you’re usually home for lunch, but when the doorbell squeaked you didn’t really think it was them. Maybe the postman or a neighbor, but not your parents.
«Surprise!» they both screamed. It was the worst surprise ever. You didn’t know they were coming so you didn’t make lunch for them, didn’t tidy up properly, didn’t hide your things and didn’t lock your door. Plus, you weren’t prepared for another mental breakdown, not so soon after they gave you one just two days ago. And you still aren’t now, listening to them talking while you eat your salad.
«Your mother decided to come visit Ailiseu for a few days and September is already here so we decided not to wait until next month, it’ll be too cold» your father explains, his smile going from ear to ear. You instantly pray for the mental health of your cousin knowing how your parents can be, she’s gonna go out of her mind.
«Exactly! And we’re staying at her place, since she has a big house. Sorry honey, we would’ve asked you but we thought we’d be too much in here.»
«No problem» you try to sound as kind as possible. This is the good side of having a small house, at least.
«How long will you stay?»
«Three days» your father says «but we’re going to Ailiseu for dinner, we’d like to spend today with you»
«Take a day off of work.» your mother points her index finger at you. «We’ll have fun! We could go to the mall and buy some clothes, I really don’t like the shirt you’re wearing»
You stop eating fixing your gaze on your meal and trying to stay calm. This is a nightmare. How are you supposed to not go to work when they saw you were fine this morning? And notify them in half an hour? Your boss is going to go out of his mind and kill you. You won’t even be able to rehearsal today, obviously.
«Mom, I-»
«Please?» your father cuts you off.
You give up. It’s scientifically proven that you can’t beat them at this game without bursting out, that would definitely lead to an argument and you really are not in the mood for it. So you nod and finish your lunch listening to all their stories, your mother complaining about everything: the broken electric hand dryer at the gas station they stopped in, the way your father drives, your shirt - again -, your salad, your house and again your job. All of her words only make you wish to end this day as soon as possible but against your desire, time only seems to slow down while you wait for your her to come out of the bathroom.
You’re ready to go to the mall, you already called your boss and told him you had a setback and couldn’t go back to work this afternoon, and like you predicted before he didn’t sound happy at all, groaning things you couldn’t understand and quickly hanging up. Your mother is been in the bathroom for twenty minutes now making you frown and sink in your couch. When she finally comes out you head to the door in a second.
«Let’s go shopping!»
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Your feet are hurting, if they could talk their exact words would be “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” at every step you take. You’ve been in here for almost six hours now, dragged from a shop to another, from a salon to a shoe store and you’re pretty sure that by now you entered all the shops in the mall.
«What’s the time?» your mother finally stops walking at your father’s question, taking a glance at her golden watch.
«It’s almost eight,» she answers raising her eyes to you «we should probably go. Do you mind giving us a ride to Ailiseu’s place?»
You try to fake a small and force yourself to nod despite your tiredness, all you’d like to do now is lay down and sleep. Your brain health is being put to serious danger today, with all your parents endless rumblings and complaints, your mother even tried to buy you a shirt just for you to go change the one you have on in the public restrooms.
You head to your car with big strides and yawning, your parents’ words behind you about how beautiful your cousin’s house is  and how much their parents must be proud of her are making your chest heavy and your head pound.
You hope not to stay stuck in traffic once you get in your car and get out of the parking lot. You only make it to a few blocks before your wishes and hopes totally fade away, the cars blocking the street and the sounds of the honking filling your ears.
«We’re gonna be late, Ailiseu is waiting for us» your father sighs.
«Can’t you take a different road?»
«How am I supposed to take a different road now? There are cars behind me» you huff at your mother’s words.
«Then honk!»
«It’s not gonna change a thing, everyone is doing that!» you claim. Your dad shakes his head.
You wait at least five minutes before you move again, the silence only filled with your mother’s huffs and annoyed muttering. When you think you finally made it and you’re gonna be home soon, a loud thud makes you shudder and not even a second later you’re being pushed against the wheel because of the swing of your car, hitting your forehead against the glass of the windshield.
It takes you a few moments to realize you just got hit and before you know it you’re already putting on your hazards and heading out of your car. How is it even possible to witness to accidents in just a few days? 
You take a look to your parents while they do the same as you and when you see they’re fine you let out a sigh of relief that lasts as quickly as it came out. Your car is devastated at the back and there is no way you can walk home without shedding parts along your way, you only feel grateful that you and your parents are not hurt.
The man in the car behind you approaches you with fast steps and a worried face, tired eyes and shaky voice.
«I’m so sorry, I should’ve been more careful»
You don’t even understand how he managed to make such a mess to your car with the traffic on the streets now, he probably came out from one of the small roads where there weren’t cars and you were the lucky one to welcome him in the jam.
The man leaves you his number telling you to call him once you know how much this is going to cost you and quickly leaves, you end up calling a taxi for your parents and a tow truck for your car, trying to stay as awake as possible. After forty five minutes of waiting you’re so tired that you could lay down and sleep in the middle of the road if it wasn’t for the cars threatening your life, but apparently someone is hearing your prayers and the tow truck comes to rescue you. Your car is brought to the mechanic and you say goodbye to another one hundred bucks for the tow truck. You’re left alone in the middle of the jam, so you move to the sidewalk ready to call a cab. You had the worst day and you’re already thinking of how much you’ll have to work to get all the money you just lost back.
«Y/N?»
You’re being caught off guard when someone calls you while you’re bringing the phone to your ear. When you turn and find Jin smiling at you you quickly hang up.
«Jin, hi»
«What are you doing here?» he looks down at you as if he’s the Eiffel Tower and you’re the grass.
«Uhm, my car broke, I was going to call a taxi»
«If you want I can give you a ride? Can you wait a little bit? Just the time to sing happy birthday to Jungkook and give him the gifts, we’re looking forward to embarrass him» he laughs.
«Oh, it’s Jungkook’s birthday?» Jin nods realizing only now that Kook probably didn’t tell you. «I don’t know... I don’t want to bother, I wasn’t invited and I don’t have a gift and-»
«I think you’re thinking too much» he quickly cuts you off. «I don’t think it will be a problem for Jungkook or the others, he’ll be happy to see you»
You sigh. You could call a taxi and wait for it, spend another fifty bucks and head home. Or you could wait a little bit and spend the time you’d spend waiting on the street with them and maybe have a little bit of fun after this awful day, maybe. If things won’t get awkward again. It’d save you money you could use for the groceries, after all.
«Lead the way» you end up saying thanking him with a warm smile. He nods and soon you’re in the elevator waiting for the doors to open, hoping not to look as awful as you feel right now. You still feel sorry to break into his birthday party without an invitation, a gift or even a little bit of more intimacy between you two, so when the doors open and you hear the laughters coming from one of the apartments you think of getting back outside and call a cab. But it’s too late, one of his friends already holds the door open for Jin, glancing over his shoulder with curious eyes and widening them at you.
«Jimin, this is Y/N» Jin introduces you to his friend gesturing with his hands an impossible language for you to understand, not that it does have meaning, he’s just trying to tell him to contain his expressions.
«Y/N, hi!» his voice is soft and it makes you smile without an apparent reason. You link him to Jungkook’s words yesterday, the third maknae and apparently, the friend he often chooses to ramble on to.
«Jungkook!» he screams over the laughters coming from the other room, eyes still fixated on you.
«Teahyung won’t let me come!» At the sound of how happy is voice sounds, laughing and cracking in the middle you can’t avoid the warmth in your chest.
«Come in» Jimin steps aside and lets you and Jin in the house. «You can give your coat to me»
You thank him and give him your coat before you’re following Jin in the other room where the others are. Their laughters stop in a second when they glance at you, now filling the place just with silence. Jungkook’s heart stops beating for a moment, totally shocked and overwhelmed by your presence, mouth agape and eyes widened. He wasn’t prepared to see you, he totally wasn’t. He stares at blankly as if he just saw a ghost and not even when Taehyung finally sets him free from his hold he’s able to say something. Your cheeks are burning like fire under all their gazes.
«I’m Taehyung» the guy who was holding him smiles at you and takes a few steps before reaching out his hand. «I’m sorry about the awkward meeting»
«Oh, don’t worry» you shrug at the memory.
«Jungkook?» a deep voice seems to wake him up from his trance, Namjoon is telling him to do something with his eyes.
«I’m Namjoon»
Soon enough all of them gather around you and shake your hand welcoming you into the house with bright smiles and kind words. The only girl in the group tells you to call her Kitty and tells you she’s the Namjoon’s girlfriend, she seems pretty nice and you end up talking for at least twenty minutes, all of your tiredness seems to disappear. The only one you still didn’t talk to is Jungkook, and you’re afraid he’s annoyed by your presence. The thought makes your head throb, but you wouldn’t blame him after all. It’s his birthday and sure he’d like to spend it with the people he loves, not with you that he doesn’t know much and weren’t even invited.
«You should go talk to her» Namjoon whispers in Kookie’s ear.
As if he hasn’t thought about it already. Jungkook knows he should talk to you, but as I said before, he really isn’t prepared for this. And seeing you talking with his friends and smiling makes the feeling in his chest even more uncontainable. You’re smiling and you seem at ease with them, sipping from your glass from time to time and laughing at Jin’s jokes. He likes this picture, you in his house, all bright and happy. He could get used to it. And all of this, only makes his anxiety grow until it’s skyrocketing.
«I’m gonna say or act awkward and ruin things again, I’m not-»
«And do you think that staying here won’t? She’s in your house, it’s your birthday and you didn’t even greet her. It surely...» he trails off when you take a few steps towards them. Jungkook bits the petal of his lower lip feeling the usual but still new mixture of emotions rushing through his blood until it reaches his chest and totally takes over him. Namjoon pats at his shoulder and glance at you with a kind smile before standing up from the couch with Hobi and heading to the kitchen. Jungkook stares at you for the millionth time, wishing to say something, anything, but the words are caught in his throat.
«Happy birthday» you stop in front of him, glancing down at the pillows beside him. «Can I?»
 He raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth even more before nervously nodding.
«I’m sorry,» you say softly after sitting on the couch «I didn’t want to break in and annoy you, my car broke and Jin offered me a ride home and-»
«You didn’t annoy me, you don’t annoy me. Never- you never annoy me» he blurts out. «You- you can stay as much as you want» his cheeks are heating up, and you don’t even know why but you suddenly smile like a baby, his words make you feel more at ease.
«I don’t have a gift»
«It doesn’t matter» he smiles at you, your heart both stuttering when you lock eyes.
«If I’m being honest, I-» he stops talking, eyes shifting from yours to meet the ground.
«What?»
Jungkook stays silent for a moment, thinking about what he wants to say over and over again, trying not to make it sound as cheesy as it sounds in his head, but the truth is that there aren’t other words to express it.
«I like you here»
«What?»
«I-» he gulps «I like you here, with us?» he wants to slap himself. Why did he even think about telling you something like this?
«You seem happy?»
You squint your eyes at him, something about this conversation is making you more nervous than usual.
«I think I am?» why are you asking him?
Jungkook scoffs at your tone, it comes out so naturally that it makes your heart flutter. «You don’t sound so sure about that» he quotes your words, a bright smile creeping upon your face.
«Everyone is so nice and easy-going, and they made me feel comfortable even though I wasn’t meant to be here» you shrug. «You weren’t joking when you talked about them»
«Actually...» he clears his throat «I though of invating you yesterday but I- I didn’t cause I though it would be weird? I mean-»
«Jungkook, you don’t need to explain me why you didn’t invite me. Don’t justify yourself»
«I’m not» he replies fast enough to make you knit your eyebrows.
«But I’m happy you’re here now» the sound of those words are like sugar to your hypoglycemic heart, hearing them makes you feel something you never experienced, something that you missed since you were a little girl. The simple act of being happy to have someone near you and not expect anything from them is something you never witnessed, neither from your parents, even though they love you under those cold masks they wear. People always seemed to expect something from you, always. Jungkook is not telling those words without meaning them, he’s not expecting a thing from you. Not even a gift.
«Jungkook!» Hobi screams from the kitchen, tone breaking into a laughter and soon joined by others too. Jungkook shuts his eyes for a moment and then smiles before standing up from the couch. With boldness he didn’t think he has, he stretches his hand out for you to grab it, waiting with held breath and unsure dark doe-eyes staring directly into yours.
It’s a matter of seconds before you loose up and reach out to his hand, fingers intertwining with each other’s and a shudder running down your spine.
Jungkook stands still for a moment, his hand is limp against yours, he didn’t really think you’d grab his hand, not in this way. You’re not holding it to help you stand up, you’re intertwining your fingers with him. It’s different. The heat rising in your cheeks makes you feel like a teenager with her first crush and only now you realize that that’s why your heart is pounding and your brain is overthinking more than usual. You’re about to split away since he doesn’t tightens his grip on you, mentally slapping yourself for doing something like this. You’re fingers leave his and Jungkook’s chest feels suddenly more heavy. Reaching out again, he grabs your hand, fingers intertwine with yours and this time in a tight and sicure grip. His hands are a little bit sweaty for the nervousness, but so are yours. Your heart stutters, breath held as if you were free diving.
Both of you stand still for a moment before turning to look at each other, not even the time to say something that Hoseok is calling again from the kitchen.
«Jungkookie!»
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«Happy birthday!» the screams fill the apartment, Jungkook’s features are priceless with his eyes squinted and his cheeks flashing red, trying as best as he can not to die under everyone’s affections.
«Blow out the candles!» Jimin shouts «I’m the one who choose the cake!»
The happiness and the intimacy in the room is so overwhelming that you feel out of place for a moment, but Taehyung grabs you by your arm and brings you closer to the group.
«Come here, embarrass him with us» he winks making you laugh. Jungkook shakes his head, he’s still at ease for the happy birthday song but he can’t fight the big bunny smile taking over his face. And when he sees you laughing with Teahyung, it takes him just a second to let go of the uncomfortable feeling in his chest only to be left with the desire of the sweet taste of the cake, and not the one on the wooden table.
Taking a deep breath he blows out the candles, eyes fixated over you making your heart skip a few beats. He doesn’t even think of a wish, all he wants it’s here tonight; the warmth of his friends, the love they feel for each other, maybe the new beginning of something, anything.
The candles die out, leaving the room in the dark for a few seconds before someone finally turns the lights on.
«Time for the presents!» Namjoon screams.
«Oh, please!» Jungkook whines and the laughters of his friends grow even more. Yoongi disappears to bring all the bags with the presents in and everyone except from Jungkook and Hoseok seats on the carpet in front of the couch even though it’s empty, you guess it’s one of their habits.
«I’m gonna cut the cake» Hobi announces turning around to face the table and start his task while Jungkook makes his way through the bodies of his friends, apparently towards you. He stops in front of you, still standing still a little bit out of place.
«You wanna sit on the couch?» he points at the sofa and you end up asking yourself why you didn’t do it sooner. You sit on the cushions, eyes fixated in front of you even when he follows you and sits beside you under everyone’s gaze, his friends staring at him before gazing away.
«Here comes the cake!» Hobi is a ray of sunshine with his bright smile while he distributes the dishes to everyone and soon enough you’re closing your eyes and letting out a whine at the taste of the sponge cake.
«It’s so good» you let out with your mouth full, words almost puzzling. Jungkook bursts out laughing and you need to gulp trying not to choke.
«Ah! See?» Jimin points at Namjoon «I choose it!» he turns to you with bright eyes and a big smile reaching his eyes.
«My taste buds are thanking you» 
Yoongi enters the room with his hands full of bags and places them beside Jungkook.
«Alright, let’s begin» he sits in front of the couch. Jungkook takes a deep breath and turns to grab the first bag.
«This is from?»
«Ugh, I forgot to write it again» Hobi murmurs making everyone laugh. Jungkook opens all the gifts, every single one of them makes you know him a little more, a little better, a little deeper. From the sweater of Hoseok to the set of products for his skincare by Jimin, they all tell you something about him. It’s Jin’s turn when he suddenly gets up from the carpet and shakes his head in the jumpiest of ways.
«Wait, wait, wait!» he almost screams. When he realizes what he’s doing he try to fake a smile. «I need to talk to you»
«What?»
«I need to talk to you» he repeats.
«Now?»
«Jungkook ya! Yes, now!» Jin looks at him with eyes widened almost as if he’s trying to communicate with him but Jungkook can’t really understand what is happening, so he just wakes up and follows Jin in another room, not a second later the hyung comes back just to bring his presence for Kookie with him.
«Alright, I’m gonna take another piece of cake» Namjoon says, her girlfriend gets up from the carpet with him to do the same. Taehyung smiles at you from the ground and quickly gets up, sitting next to you. You end up talking for at least ten minutes, conversation as fluid as the water and a comfortable feeling of naturalness you haven’t been feeling for a long time. You think you’d like to hang out with them more, they make you feel good with their positivity.
Jungkook finally comes back in the room after fifteen minutes, gaze and smile that now you can identify as nervous. He sits on the couch beside you grabbing Jin’s present again, digging in the bag until he finds it. Ripping the paper off, the new set of kitchen tools lights up his eyes. Now that the presents are all discarded, Jin looks at you.
«Do you want to go home now?»
Would that be wrong or weird if your answer was no? You glance at Jungkook, his eyes already on you.
«Wait, wait!» he bursts out, now standing up and heading out of the room. Your expression is blank until he comes back, wondering what just happened. Jin seems to smile when he see his friend rushing back with a bag in his left hand.
«Come ou- out, please?» Jungkook asks. You nod still uncertain and you follow him to the balcony, he makes sure to close the door behind you so that nobody can hear you.
Silence fills the air just for a little bit, the only sound that can be heard is the night, so peaceful and quiet, the light whistle of the wind. Jungkook is again repeating to himself that he can talk without embarrassing himself or making you feel awkward, he did it until now, kinda. He clears his throat and raises his gaze, hand scratching his neck. This can’t go worst than the first times you met, after all. It’s a simple action.
«I-» he stops without even starting.
«Am I making you nervous again?»
His expression changes, eyes widening and mouth hanging agape as he starts to shake his head.
«No, I- I mean...» he trails off and you don’t know why, but you feel the need to reassure him. So you smile at him, one of those warm smiles that makes his heart stutter and wonder if he’ll ever get to see another one, if this one doesn’t kill him. He gathers all his strength to talk through the smile that wants to take over his features.
«I’ve got your dress» he lifts his hand.
«What?»
«I’ve- I’ve got your dress. This is your dress, the dress you wanted» his cheeks are burning.
«It-it’s not my dress, it’s yours»
«I-» his eyes widen at the thought of the explanation he has to give you, so many words he wants to groan.
«I saw you liked the dress and-»
«You saw I liked the dress?»
«Yes, I mean- I was in the shop when you came in.» he claims. «I saw you looking at the dress and I thought you’d like it as an apology gift? So I- I was trying to understand the size you were looking for and praying that there was on- only one or that you’d let me buy it for you.» he quickly blurts out.
«There was, but you had already found it and I- I should’ve just walk away but I didn’t and-» he stops again.
«You know the end»
He had already told you what happened but you really didn’t think it was this, with the little details it sounds totally different. The silence makes his way again and Jungkook feels like he’s about to explode for the way his cheeks are heating up, so he’s quick to place the bag in your hands.
«I- I wanted to give it to you and I took it at the rehearsals. Jin- he mistook it for a towel and- this- this is a new one don’t worry. I tried to search for it online but apparently they only sell it in his store and Jin found it today and-»
«Thank you» you cut him off, your warm smile reaching your eyes and now setting on fire his. He’s sure he’s gonna burn by the end of this.
Opening the bag and raising your hands to look at the cloth you realize that you couldn’t care less now. It’s beautiful, but it’s just a piece of cloth. It’s the action behind it that you find more beautiful, even though you would’ve never think about it this way just a few days ago. Jungkook searched for it online, and he grabbed it from you because he wanted to buy it for you. Well, maybe he should learn how to contain himself, but it doesn’t matter. He never wanted to tease you or make you feel uncomfortable, it’s just a consequence of him being around you. And that’s exactly why he acted like that.
«I’m sorry»
«We need to stop to say that» you scoff. «I don’t care anymore, not now that I know what happened»
«So- you- you’re not mad at me?» 
«Why should I be?» you frown at him «Jungkook, I’m not. Honestly, I-» you stop talking to glance at him. And the only thing you can feel is your heartbeat raising until it’s skyrocketing, you can feel it in your ears. An insolite warmth, a weird sense of happiness you never got to really feel. And something inside you is telling you to fucking let go of your armor, break it apart and take a risk for once, just one and just now. Damn, how much you would like to know what’s the taste of his lips, of him. If only you were more bold.
«Trust me, I’m not mad at you» you almost whisper, so low you’re not even sure he heard it.
Jungkook shifts his gaze from you to the dress in your hands, and before he can stop himself the words are already leaving his mouth. 
«Do- do you want to wear it?» he wants to slap his face again.
«Now?»
«You’re right, do- don’t. I mean, if you want to wear it I-»
«Jungkook, stop talking»
You look into his dark doe-eyes fighting the urge to drown in them, but it’s just a matter of understanding it, you already are breathless and desperately swimming to get to the surface.
«I don’t think it’s the right dress code for tonight and Jin is probably waiting for me»
«I- I can give you a ride if you want? I mean, you can stay more, you know that?»
«I wouldn’t like to both-»
«You don’t.» he states, eyes never leaving yours.
«Please, stay? Just a little more. Or let me take you home?» he’s almost imploring for a little bit more of your presence, but he doesn’t care anymore, not now. There’s something inside him that doesn’t want to do anything else than let you know the effect you have on him, what a strong power.
«Alright» you breath out. «I’ll stay, but tomorrow I have to wake up at six, I’ll probably have to go in a little bit»
Jungkook nods and feels the guilt sneaking in at the same time.
«Oh, I didn’t know it. You- you can go»
«Jungkook, I’ll stay for a little bit more. Don’t worry.» you lightly scoff, his worrying for you causes a weird feeling in your chest. «I’d be happy to eat another piece of cake.» you smile.
«Plus, I like being with you» 
Jungkook feels his chest warming, the thought of him making you feel good almost sends him dizzy. He knows that he can’t answer you now, he’d just say or blubber something without any sense, so he just smiles. One of those smiles that you really don’t know what they do to you, but you can feel it.
You end up talking for another five minutes before he goes in to bring a piece of cake to share and to tell Jin he doesn’t have to leave now to take you home, you didn’t tell him if he can give you a ride, but Jin usually leaves pretty late, so it’s not a problem for him.
When he comes back again he’s sure he has never seen someone as beautiful as you. The way the light of the moon lights up your features and the shadows of the night make them look even more charming, the way the light breeze makes you hair swing.
Jungkook sits beside the table and you do the same, body facing the city lights that make you feel a little more small.
«Here» he gives you a spoon. You eat the cake, air filled with light laughters from time to time and light conversation. His presence really seems to make you feel good, lightweight. Like you haven’t felt in months. The end of the time you gave yourself quickly arrives and you end up standing up and ask him for the bathroom before you go home.
The tiredness is taking over you again, but you’re not regretting staying more, not even a little bit. Placing your phone and your purse on the washbasin you start to think of how fast things can change in just the slightest amount of time. Just a couple of days ago you thought he was trying to make fun of you with his friends, and now you’re enjoying their presence and wishing the night would last just a couple of house more, so that you could go to sleep later. But it’s not possible, so you quickly grab your purse and rush back where Jin is waiting for you. You told him before you would be leaving with him, even thought the thought of Jungkook giving you a ride home was screaming to come out, you don’t want to ruin the party by bringing away the birthday boy. Saying goodbye to everyone is like a promise of seeing each other again and you end up sharing your numbers with Namjoon’s girlfriend and with Teahyung, telling each other you’d like to hang out together.
When it’s Jungkook’s turn he hands you your bag with your dress in it knowing you left it on the balcony to go to the bathroom.
«I’ll see you tomorrow?» he asks with a low tone as if it’s a secret.
Thinking about what happened today with your car, you’re not quite sure if you’ll make it to the rehearsals tomorrow, you have to work until midday and if your boss lets you, you’d like to work overtime to save more money, you already spent a bunch of them for the tow truck and you still have to fix your car. You’re just glad your mechanic is a friend of yours and will probably give you a discount.
«I’m not sure I’ll make it, I’ll probably work overtime» you grimace. Jungkook‘s features fall a little bit but he’s quick not to show you and nods. You’re about to tiptoe and leave two pecks on his cheeks like you did with everyone when his hand reaches yours and your heart do cartwheels. Your fingers intertwine for the second time tonight and you can feel your cheeks heating up with his.
Jungkook keeps telling himself to not make you feel uncomfortable, this is a bad idea, but he really doesn’t understand you feel everything but uncomfortable right now. The warmth of his body is so close to yours that you’d like to crush in his arms without any hesitation. Looking up at him, he stares at your face, marveled by the way you make him feel before quickly tilting his head. The action is so fast you don’t have time to understand what’s happening, and in a second his lips are pressed against your forehead, gente and dangerously soft that you’d die to feel them on yours.
Without even realizing it your arm wraps around his back and he feels himself stiffening at the contact, he wasn’t expecting it, and neither his cock, now throbbing in his jeans and remembering him that its better if he lets you go. So he does so, trying to smile as best as he can and ignore the reddish of his cheeks. Thanks to God no one is watching you, or he’d be dead by now.
«Good night, Jungkook. And happy birthday.»
And so you smile at him and turn around to head to the door with Jin.
What a birthday.
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It’s only the next day you realize you don’t have your phone. You want to yell at yourself for adding another piece to the puzzle of your stress. You did nothing but run like crazy for the whole morning at work and you thought that at least you could relax during your lunch break but apparently, it’s not possible. You have two free hours and you don’t have any idea about what you’re going to eat for lunch, but you repeat to yourself it doesn’t matter. You’re just praying you told the right address to the cab driver and hoping that he is home. You’re going to Jungkook’s, and the thought alone makes a fluttering sensation rush through your chest, and now you’re even more nervous. You usually wouldn’t break in people’s house like this but it’s the only way, you really need your phone today considering your car is at the mechanic’s and your parents are in the same city as you. You can’t wait until tomorrow and hope he’ll bring it to the studio, this is the only way.
When you find yourself opening the car door and taking a glance to the building in front of you it’s safe to say you feel relieved. At least the address is the right one. Your steps are smooth and you make it to the entrance door without any problem, but when you search for his name on the intercoms you suddenly feel stuck in place, your heart beating faster than usual. Repeating to yourself you need your phone, you press the button and wait for him to answer. A few seconds pass by and you’re already losing hope when finally a bzz signals that the entrance door is just being open. You expected him to ask you who you were but he simply quitted so you stare at the name on the button wondering if you should press it again. Your fingers move faster than your thoughts and a second later you’re waiting for him to answer to tell it’s you, but Jungkook seems to have a different idea and again, he just re opens the entrance door. Sighing gently and giving up, you enter the apartments and get in the elevator.
The thought of being here again is making your chest warm, so warm it feels like a summer day. Last night since the moment your head touched your pillow you thought about him shamelessly, trying to understand the way he made you feel and to categorize it in some kind of way. You found no answer, you don’t even understand yourself when you’re with him. Yesterday has been one of the worst days ever but it took him nothing to make it better for you, even with his stuttering and nervousness, he was able to make you feel... mattered? Since the moment you met him for the first time Jungkook screwed up almost every time you talked, but he always found a way of making it up, maybe with a little bit of unease and already on his way to screw up one more time, but he did. And just the simple fact he cares enough to try even though he knows you so little makes you smile and worry at the same time. You’re not used to all this attention, you’re usually the one who’s always trying to hard, at his place.
The doors open and and you have to go out to let the person in front of you get in the elevator, so you end up staring at his door.
«I’m going now!» a yell comes from inside, you don’t have time to understand whose voice it is or what it’s happening that Jimin is already standing in front of you with his eyebrow raised and a smile forming on his lips.
«Hi, Y/N»
«Jimin, stop teasing me!» Jungkook screams from inside. Jimin widens his eyes and then his lips in a shocked expression as you smile at him.
«Hi, Jimin»
Just the sound of your voice and the maknae is losing it all, rushing to the door to see if his mind played a trick on him. Apparently it didn’t, since you’re staring at him with your mouth open and your breath stuck in your throat, and Jimin has pretty much the same expression.
Why are you... Oh-
«Fuck, I’m sorry» his cheeks heat up and Jimin shuts his eyes as Jungkook realizes he’s not wearing his shirt, fast enough to run to his bedroom that he could challenge the wind. His friend shakes his head.
«I should go, see you» he holds the door open for you to enter and then goes out with a warm smile. The second he shuts it you’re left in a house that now seems ten times bigger than yesterday night, maybe for the lack of people, maybe for the silence. Or maybe because you feel so little in this moment you wouldn’t be surprised if someone stepped on you.
«I’m sorry to break in your apartment like this» you speak out loud, not sure if he hears you. Jungkook bites his lips.
«I forgot my phone and-»
«Here» he shows up from the corner of the short hallway, your phone in his hand.
«Thank you» you grab it and put it in your purse.
«I charged it for you yesterday night»
«Oh, really?» he nods. You smile as another thank you and Jungkook opens his mouth to speak when a low grr fills the air and this time it’s you the one with your cheeks reddening.
«Are- are you hungry?» What a stupid question, of course you are. «I made some pasta if you want it»
«I should be back to work in an hour and a half and I’m not sure I have the time to eat, I have to wait for a cab too»
«I- I can take you? If you want?» he licks his lips. «It’d save you time and the pasta is ready»
He’s right, and your stomach is dying to be filled.
«Alright» you nod and he smiles triumphant, the way his eyes seem to smile at your words makes you wonder.
«Why are you so kind to me?»
Jungkook’s smile turns into a slight pout that makes you want to peck his lips as he raises his eyebrows.
«What do you mean?»
You struggle to find the right words. «I- You... you always try to help me or worry about me, even for little things like when we went to the cafe and you kept on asking me if I wanted to switch drinks. When things become awkward it’s because you try to make a good impression and fail, but you’re always trying.» the tone you’re using makes Jungkook grimace. He can tell you’re not used to this from the way you’re shifting your weight from foot to foot as you speak.
How can he explain it to you? How can he tell you he’s so head over heels for you he can’t even think of stop trying? Jungkook bites the petal of his lips furiously as his mind tries to find the right answer, but there is not and he lets out a strangled groan as he realizes it.
« I... I- I really like you» 
Your expression is blank, totally. His words almost seem not to touch you as he studies every part of your face for a reaction.
«You’re not used to this, ri- right?» he scratches the back of his neck.
«I’m really not» you breath out. Jungkook knits his brows together.
«Do you- you want me stop it?»
«I-» you shake your head «I don’t think so? I’m really not used to it, Jungkook. It may sound incredibly stupid but I never had someone who asked me if I wanted to switch drinks just because he wanted me to taste the best one and not to actually steal it from me.»
«Well, now you have me» his words are firm, so incredibly firm it makes you clench your jaw, and his eyes are the same.
«I- I charged your phone because I was worried you would need it today and couldn’t use it. I’m offering you a ride because I like spending time with you, I don’t want something in return other than you, your time.» his voice his calm and his shoulders seem to loose with every word he says as if he’s letting go of a heavy weight.
It’s all striking you in a second, and the hit is so hard you end up holding your breath. It’s not really the fact he likes you that makes you this stunned, it’s the fact he actually cares. Your parents never showed their affection to you without expecting you to give them something back, wether it was a high grade or a good impression on your neighbors, and when you stopped trying to always give back something their affections towards you had simply stopped, replaced by fake “honey” and other nice words just to cover the fact they didn’t really believe in you enough to show it. And with your friends and coworkers is pretty much the same, always waiting for something in return.
The sudden realization makes your eyes tingle and you vision blurry.
«I’m sorry»
Jungkoook shakes his head and gets closer, the thought that no one ever cared enough to show you how much you matter or acted just for the simple intent of doing something for you and not actually for them wrecks him apart. His mind flies back to when Seokjin told him about your parents and how they acted or spoke to you, he can clearly see the weight of every single word of them in your shiny eyes now, hurting you and making you question his good actions just because you’re used to the most selfish ones. It makes him want to bury you with attention, show you that people can do something for others too and not just to feed their egoistic side.
«Come here» it’s as low as a whisper, but you don’t hesitate a second to let his arms wrap around you, hiding your face on his shirt and soaking it with the tears that are now streaming down your face. His grip is tight and you can hear the stuttering of his heart against your ear, one of his hands gets to your hair and starts to softly, sweetly stroking at them to make you calm down just a little bit, head tilted over yours. His heart is aching seeing you like this.
«I’m sorry»
«Shh, stop saying that. We apologize too much» he holds you even tighter as you fist his shirt in your hands. Jungkook leaves a soft kiss in your hair and your heart skips a beat at the intimacy of the action. It’s only then that you realize you’re really letting someone see this side of you, the one you always try to hide because it’s to fragile to break, the one you hide even from yourself.
Slightly tilting your head upwards to lock eyes with him, Jungkook tries as best as he can to smile at you, even though his chest is has heavy as yours. His hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs caress your skin and wipe your tears away.
«Jungkook»
«Yes?»
«Please, kiss me»
His lips crush onto yours, Jungkook groans at the feeling and you instantly bring one of your hand in his locks as he tastes the salty taste left by the tears. As you lightly bite the petal of his lower lips Jungkook feels like he’s dreaming, and he prays not to wake up. His tongue slides in your mouth, wet and warm against yours, tracing and exploring each other and making you slightly tug at his locks, he moans in your mouth and brings one of his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to his body. The kiss is passionate, so damn needy, but not only in a sexual way. You need love, affection. Jungkook is more than welcome to help you with that, letting you waste all of your insecurities and frustrations on him until you feel completely dried, left with nothing but the realization of his taste on your lips, his hands against your skin, his embrace around you, him. And you need to push away to take it in, letting his forehead hover over yours and his heavy breath crush down on your face. His eyes are looking into yours and they make you feel things you now are able to categorize as humanly impossible, so dark and deep but so bright at the same time, lips still brushing against yours as you both take deep breaths. The frustration in your body is gone, your tears are dried, the only thing left is the need you feel to have him again on you, the desperate desire to taste him again. His mind prepares to the thought of a possible rejection, the idea you begged for him to kiss you just to drift your thoughts away storms his mind but he repeats to himself that whatever thing will come, this was definitely worth it. He’ll just have to face the fact that he just got only one bite of the cake. How can he even believe in it? Your lips are addicting, and he’s already craving for more.
«I could get used to this» you whisper. Jungkook never felt so relieved in all his life than now, letting out a shaky breath heavier than the others.
«Please, do it» he whines making you giggle and bring your lips on his again. This kiss is different from the other, more slow, more sweet, more intimate in a different way cause it’s just about you two. There aren’t emotions to run away from and to waste on the other, the only emotions are the ones you feel for each other. His lips move cautiously on yours as if he wants to taste every single part of you and imprint in his mind, your hand leaves his hair just to reach his neck and then his cheek, resting on his jaw. When you move away he rests his forehead again on yours and tilts down just to leave a few more sweet pecks on your lips, totally addicted to your taste. As you look at him you think this man we’ll send you out of your mind, if he didn’t already.
«Could you get used to me caring about you too?» he breathes. Your smile is bittersweet.
«It might take me a little bit» you answer. Jungkook strokes your cheek with his thumb, showing his bunny smile and making your chest a warmer and happier place.
«Then we’ll practice together, uh?»
«I’d like that»
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blipblooopp · 3 years
Text
Let It Be Me
Summary: Choi San is many things. The most talented man you have ever seen. Be it on the dance floor or in front of a mic during a gig. He was the kindest person, always holding the door for the people behind him, helping the elderly carry things, even paying for strangers randomly. He got along famously with your parents and even better with your grandparents. He was charming like that, capturing the attention of anyone and everyone who even looked his way. He’s the love of your life, you’re sure of it but he’s also your best friend. Pairing: Boy Band AU!Choi San x F!Reader Words: 5.6k Genre: Angst/Smut
You’ve heard of a thing called platonic soulmates but it’s taken you years and years of watching Choi San grow to realize you weren’t. Well, you hoped you weren’t. Everything about him made your body erupt into a fire.
San looked at everything with adoration, finding all the good in life, including you. It was a double-edged sword, really. It made you feel special… important. But you could barely concentrate when his eyes were on you.
It didn’t help that he was gifted in pretty much everything; it made you nervous beyond belief. He’s pretty much perfect and as much as you wanted to be with him, you knew the odds of him liking you back were slim to none.
You’ve come to terms with it for the most part. It hurt to see him flirt with girls in front of you, hurt even worse when he started dating this awful girl named Areum. She didn’t give a fuck about him, actually. She barely responded to his calls and texts, going as far as blocking him one time. They fought nonstop. Every time you two hung out, San had a new dilemma to talk about. For some reason, San wouldn’t break up with her.
You had asked him after a night of you two getting drunk together, after another night of listening to his relationship problems. He laughed dryly, taking another sip of his beer, “I love her so much.”
Apparently, it was his “slow-motion” moment. He and his band had been wrapping up the night with their last song, soaking up every second they could have. Halfway through the song, San had noticed Areum in the front row. You were there too so you noticed the look on his face. A look you had never seen him make before. It basically tore your heart out when he told you that he couldn’t get “that beautiful girl” out of his head. She ended up becoming a dedicated face in the crowd so San asked her out.
You would’ve thought they were soulmates from the way they looked in the beginning. Lord only knows how they got to this point. How you got to this point, with San crying in your lap.
It was 10:00 pm when someone started banging on your door. You were enjoying a cup of coffee but you almost had a heart attack at that moment. You opened the door with shaking hands, hoping that whatever killer was on the side wasn’t actually a killer. Instead, you saw your best friend, with swollen red eyes, sniffling.
“Oh my god, San! You scared— what’s wrong?” You immediately dragged him in, locking the door behind you. He sniffled again as he slumped into your couch. You took a seat next to him and took his hand in yours. “Was it another fight?” You knew it wasn’t. In all the fights you had heard, San never cried.
“She was cheating on me… this whole time.” He hiccuped as he talked.
“That bitch.” You said under your breath. You held onto his hand a little tighter, trying to contain your anger.
“I went to her house tonight because she wasn’t responding to me again. I wanted to talk it out with her but she opened her front door in her underwear with some motherfucker sitting on her couch!” Although you had many words to say with Areum, you were speechless in front of San. What were you supposed to say? All you could do was scoot back on the couch and guide San's head onto a pillow in your lap.
“It’s gonna be okay.” You ran your fingers through his hair, “You can cry for as long as you want.”
And cry he did.
____
The next morning was hard. You woke up on your couch sitting up-right with a terrible case of stiff-neck. That’s not the only reason it was hard. No, it was worse seeing San still laying on your lap. He was wide-awake, dark eye bags contrasting against his face. His eyes stared deep into the ceiling.
“What’re you thinking about, Sannie?” You started to run your fingers through his hair again and watched as his eyes fluttered shut, his body instantly relaxing.
His eyes opened again, “Why didn’t she love me?” You couldn’t respond, not that he let you. “I knew we weren’t perfect, knew she wasn’t perfect… but we always made it through the end of the day. I can’t believe she would do this to me.”
“It’s her loss.” You finally said. “You don’t need her anyway. It was her decision to cheat and you had nothing to do with it.”
San didn’t say anything after that, just continued to stare at your ceiling.
___
The first few weeks were the hardest for sure. San had spent most of them at your place, barely leaving even for band practice. When he did practice with the guys he would leave early, only strumming a few chords on his guitar before deciding that it reminded him too much of Areum.
“He’s been really out of it.” Yunho, the bassist commented one time. San hadn’t even played that day. He just sat in the corner for an hour. You stayed behind for a few minutes and told San to wait in the car. You wanted to catch up with the other band members.
“Can you blame him? That bitch was… well, a bitch.” Wooyoung shot back, setting his drum sticks down.
“How has he been holding up?” Hongjoong asked.
You scoffed, “Have you seen the man? I don’t even think San’s there anymore! God, if I see her, it’s on sight!”
You did your best to help him through those weeks. You had been through a few hard breakups in the past so you understood that the early stages were the worst. You even used up all of your sick time to stay home with him. You had never seen him this gloomy. At one point, he went through five pints of ice cream in three days.
____
It took three months for San to be even remotely okay. He started going to practice more and this time, he actually played. You couldn't say you were surprised. San loved playing with the band and you knew it was probably the only thing that would bring him out of his funk.
"You look good, man!" Hongjoong slapped his hand on San's back playfully and for the first time in months, San had his usual dimpled smile.
"I feel good." He replied, setting down his guitar and taking a seat next to you on the beat-up couch. "It's thanks to you, y/n"
Your eyes widened. "Me?"
He nodded. "You stayed up with me, didn't go to work, even made me breakfast when you knew I didn't have the energy to get off your couch."
You couldn't lie; your heart was racing. All you could do was stare back into his eyes with a goofy smile painted on your face. San put his hand on your thigh, skinship being normal between you two, especially within these past months.
Your friendship remained just that, a friendship, for the next month. You were okay with this, though. At least you had a small sliver of hope now that he was single. That tiny bit of hope that he'd love you back was able to tide you over.
Until one night.
San had come over for your weekly movie nights, an event you had been doing since high school but stopped doing because his ex got jealous easily. You tried calming your nerves as you sat next to each other, his arm wrapped around you.
You were so close you could smell his cologne. It was intoxicating. Maybe it was the fact that he was newly single now, filling up your thoughts even more recently, but his entire presence was overwhelming tonight.
“You alright, beautiful?” Since San was single now, his usual playful flirty side was coming out again. Just like everything else about him, you had a love-hate relationship with it. It doesn't mean anything. You had to remind yourself. He talked like this with everyone, especially when he wanted to get a rise out of his bandmates.
You gulped when you looked up at him. How could a man have this effect on you? You would think that after years of unrequited love, you'd be able to at least contain yourself. “Yeah.”
San gave you a dimpled smile, shifting his gaze to a piece of your hair, moving it behind your ear. Your mouth parts, probably to say something but you can't be too sure right now. If someone walked in, they would think you guys are about to kiss. Maybe you are... you want to kiss him.
With your heart pounding in your ears, you slowly lean forward, keeping your eyes on his lips. They look too good not to look at but you're also scared of seeing the look in his eyes, the potential disgust that might be taking over at the thought of your lips touching his.
Everything is moving in slow motion. From your hand caressing his cheek to the moment your lips make contact. He's stiff against you and you can only imagine that it's because he's uncomfortable. You start to pull away, dreading the awkward conversation you're about to have but San is quick. His hand grips your thigh and he's kissing you back with fervor.
Your head is spinning, Is this really happening? These sparks you're feeling all over your body, does he feel the same way? You push away any thoughts you're having, trying to focus on keeping up with San. You needed to enjoy this moment. Without realizing it, you swing your leg and straddle San's lap. He groans underneath you but before you can question it, he's giving you a reassuring squeeze on your waist.
You don't want to take the initiative of going further, but man, your hands are burning to touch his bare skin. Your hands, instead, rest on his shoulders, gripping and releasing every few seconds. As if he was reading your mind, San's hands move to the hem of your shirt and for the first time, you break the kiss.
The second your shirt passes your head, San's moving to kiss your neck, occasionally sucking to leave hickies that are sure to last a whole week. You're breathless, taking this as a sign to take off San's shirt. Your hands are all over each other, San's going from your cheek to unbuttoning your jeans, your fingers feeling his abs contract under your touch.
It feels like a flash. San suddenly laying you down on your bed, both of your clothes littered behind you on the floor, his lips still on your neck. It's only when he's about to insert himself does he stop and look at you with dark eyes. He doesn't give you enough time to question it, pushing himself inside you. You both gasp at the feeling.
"Fuck, you're so tight!" He grips your hip with one hand, the other holding the headboard like his life depends on it. He feels like he'll burst any second.
You're right there with him though, the mere feelings of this moment making you sensitive. "You're just big. Holy shit!"
It takes him a second, taking a moment to give both of you a moment to adjust before he moves inside you. You can't contain the sounds coming out of you as he hits all the right spots with ease. You couldn't have pegged San to have this big of a dick, yet here he was.
Before you can realize it, your hands are finding purchase on his back and your nails are sinking into his skin. He hisses above you but his thrusts get harsher and the moaning in your ear doesn't get any quieter.
"You feel so good... so warm and tight for me." He's practically whimpering into your neck. You try to keep your cool, trying not to cum so fast but he's hitting that spot inside you with ease.
Your nails dig into him deeper, "S-san," You stutter out. "Close... so close."
"I know... but you gotta wait for me. Can you do that?" His thrusts get faster and deeper, you don't even comprehend his words properly.
"Can you do that for me, pretty girl? Be a good girl for me?" He's using both hands to clench onto the headboard now, the force making it harder to not cum. You just nod and wrap your legs around his waist. San is drilling into you with so much force and he's hoping that the bed isn't going to break. After a few more thrusts, he starts to get sloppy, and your vision's crossing.
"Alright, beautiful. Cum for me." He grunts out, trying not to cum at the feeling of you clenching around him. You finally let the waves of pleasure course through you, seeing stars. If you were lucid, you most definitely would have been embarrassed by the noises coming out of your mouth and your pussy.
With a loud sigh, San pulls out of you and releases onto your stomach. Almost immediately, he’s up and cleaning you, you’re body’s too tired to do anything but lay there. You’re surprised, because instead of leaving, San lays next to you, even going as far as pulling you close to him.
You have so much on your mind but you're too tired now.
____
This goes on for weeks. Sometimes you would hang out. Sometimes do other things. Everything happened so fast. The friendship that you held so dear had become a muddled mess of lust and confusion. You obviously still had feelings for San but you had no idea where he stood.
You'd never even talked about the first time you guys had sex. When you woke up he was gone and when you saw each other again, he acted like nothing had happened. You didn't want to be that clingy girl who expected a relationship so you never brought it up. Now you're in this endless cycle of sleeping with each other and never addressing the elephant in the room.
What didn't help was how San was acting differently. He was much more touchy with you, always having to touch you in some way whenever you were together. His hand on your thigh, holding your hand, arm around your shoulder, he did it all. Before the incident, you would have considered him touchy but that's nothing compared to him now.
Your hangouts started to become more elaborate as well. You guys were actually going out to movies instead of watching Netflix at your house. Small coffee shop hangouts started becoming intimate dinners. It was like you guys were dating. These dates gave you hope that he would eventually open up and ask you out properly but you didn't want to force it out of him. So, you just decided to go with whatever he wanted.
"Let's go ice-skating." The handsome man suggested his left-hand steering and his right hand on your thigh.
"You know I can't ice-skate." You deadpan, getting distracted by your fingers playing with his.
He glances at you with a honey-sweet smile before bringing his eyes back to the road. "I can teach you, ya know."
"Please, you just want to see me fall so you can laugh at me."
"That too."
San taught you how to ice-skate for maybe ten minutes. After that, he decided that it would be best to let you learn through trial and error.
"San, I'm literally gonna fall on my face!" You cried, your legs shaking as you attempted to walk on the ice.
"You're doing great. Just try skating to me." He held out his hand for you. Every time you got even remotely close to him, however, he would slowly start backing up. You were struggling around the rink but he made sure to sprinkle in encouragements so you wouldn't be too mad at him.
Just when you thought you were doing good, you got too cocky and propelled yourself towards San, wanting so desperately to close that gap. Your feet weren't pointed straight enough causing your left skate to hit your right, tripping you onto the ice.
"Holy shit, y/n! Are you alright?" San appears in front of you with seconds. Helping you up with ease. Your knees ache and you could feel the bruise forming on your hip.
“Did you not see me eat shit?” You bark out, now gripping his arm for dead life.
“I did but it’s always polite to ask.” You slap his arm playfully as he guides you off the ice and onto the benches. “Are you actually okay?”
You shook your head and pouted like a child. San chuckled to himself, seeing right through you. Instead of saying anything, he pecked your lips innocently and took a seat next to you. It was the first time he’s kissed you in public which only confused you further. Is he doing this on purpose? You really had to ask him.
You’re too lost in your thoughts to see San staring at you. It’s not until he’s moving a piece of hair out of your face that you’re snapped out of your thoughts. You jolt slightly and hum at him in response. He just shakes his head and returns his gaze to the people skating.
It was your turn to stare at him, to memorize his features for the nth time. He’s just as beautiful as he was two seconds ago and the butterflies are still strong. You open your mouth to question him about your relationship, finally building up the courage just when…—
“San? Is that you?” You freeze. Her, you think. That manipulative bitch.
“Areum?” San stands as if he’s been caught doing something bad like a child. She offers him a warm smile, completely disregarding you as always. You feel like you did during the concert. His eyes are no longer on you… but trained on her. You feel that distance he created on the ice growing bigger and bigger.
“What’re you doing here?” The man asks, still shocked to see her.
“Ah, I was just walking around.” The nerve of this girl to act like she didn’t do anything wrong. “What’re you doing here?” Her eyes land on you but she quickly looks back at him.
You stand this time. “We’re…” Don’t say it. Don’t be petty. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “On a date.” You entwine your arm with San’s.
Areum’s lip twitches in annoyance. “Oh?” She quirks a brow and glances at San. “Is this true?”
San freaks out without thinking and shakes his arm from yours. “No!— I mean like a friendly date, sure. We’re just hanging out like old times.”
There’s your answer.
His ex smiles with victory at your defeated state. “Well, we should catch up, San. I know we ended things on a bad note but I think we should talk.”
The car ride home was awfully silent. Usually, they were filled with laughter and off-key singing but tonight, you gave San short answers in his poor attempt to talk. When you entered your apartment, you told him you were going to bed early and that he should lock up when he leaves.
Instead, you feel his warm body climb into your bed and hold you at 12 am. As always, you didn’t tell him to leave. Because, as always, you couldn’t say no to Choi San.
____
You wake up and San's not next to you but there is a text.
San : Sorry I didn't want to wake you but I left to go to practice. It'll probably end late today so if you feel up to it, come hang out. :)
Should you? Maybe it's just better if you pretend like nothing happened. Obviously, that's what he's doing. Besides, it’s not like his bandmates gave you false hope just to reject you in front of their ex. You end up going to the practice, a huge lump in your throat. If you brought up the situation, you're sure that whatever you guys had would be over the second you said anything.
Jongho, the lead singer, greets you with a smile and a nod in your direction as he warms up.
"y/n!" Wooyoung calls out, getting off of his drum stool and engulfing you in a hug.
You giggle on command, loving his enthusiasm. “Wooyoung, why do you always act like we haven’t seen each other for years!”
He smiles and whispers, “Don’t tell the guys I told you, but you’re like… our muse!”
You roll your eyes and pull away from his chest just to look at him, “I think you’re the only one crazy enough to even consider that.”
Wooyoung lets you go completely and returns to his drum set, you follow suit. “Maybe but you’ve been our number one supporter since day one! Plus you’re beautiful and beauty inspires art, does it not?”
Laughter erupts from you again at his cheesiness and your feel an arm wrap around your shoulder. You didn’t have to look to know who it was, the signature cologne giving him away.
“What’s so funny?” San’s smiling but you can tell there’s something different in his tone.
“Just exposing how important y/n is to the band.” Wooyoung sends you a playful wink, your cheeks burning slightly. San forces a laugh, something you don’t notice, before sitting you down on the couch.
After practice was over, you waited outside of the room for San so you could go back to your place. That wasn't the original plan but San insisted. The chilly air made you wrap your arms around yourself, internally scolding yourself over not bringing a jacket.
Wooyoung was the first to come out, fishing his lighter out of his pocket. He wasn't the only cigarette smoker in the group but he was definitely the one that smoked the most. He grinned at the sight of you, resting his hand in his pocket instead.
"Why're you waiting out here? It's cold as hell."
"Yeah... But I didn't want to get in your guys' way." You rubbed your hands up and down your arms trying to create heat. Wooyoung took off his jacket and wrapped it around you without hesitation. "A true gentleman." You remarked.
He put his hand on his chest, his face contorting to look hurt. "I've always been a gentleman. Even when I'm freezing my ass off."
Your eyes widened, ready to give the jacket back. "Woah there, missy. I gave it to you for a reason. We don't want our muse to die of hypothermia." The joke makes you laugh lightly. "You waiting on San?"
You nod, staring at the ground and rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “It’s been a lot of waiting recently.” You accidentally confess.
“Uh oh.” He leans against the wall. "I noticed something was different."
"What do you mean?" You hear your heartbeat through your ears and you find it hard to breathe all of a sudden.
"You guys are a lot closer... You guys are best friends, sure, but the air's been different between you two. He still doesn't notice how you look at him."
You scoff, "That obvious, huh?"
"To everyone but him, it seems. Can I be honest?" Wooyoung rolls to face you. You nod, now looking at him. "Unless you tell him how you feel, you'll be doing nothing but waiting on him."
"But our friendship-"
"If you're about to tell me that it's enough for you, so help me God, y/n, I will kick your ass." You laugh for the first time since the conversation started. You understand what you have to do. You guys have already crossed so many boundaries and clearly, he feels something for you, right?
The door to the practice room swings open and this time it's Yeosang and San. San's bright smile seems to falter as his eyes instantly land on the jacket that's wrapped around you. His eyes shift between you and the drummer then he strides to you, grabbing your wrist.
"Let's go?" You don't have time to answer. San's practically ripping the jacket off of you and throwing it at Wooyoung who barely catches it. This time, you don't miss the change in his tone. He replaces Wooyoung's jacket with his hoodie, not saying a word as he puts it on you.
Just like the night before, the tension in the car is thick but unlike last night, it's you who's trying to spark a conversation. San's knuckles are turning white as he drives and it's starting to worry you. You've never seen San this upset before and you're still trying to place the reasoning. Was it jealousy?
You pull up to the house, expecting him to follow you like he always does but he doesn't. Instead, he leaves the engine running and his eyes on the street. For some reason, this sets you off. This man had the audacity to pull away from you, act like you were just a friend in front of the ex that cheated on him, but gets jealous over you casually talking to another guy?
You scoff and unbuckle your seatbelt, stepped out of the car, and slammed the door shut. San was feeling extra temperamental tonight. He couldn't understand why he felt like this either. Maybe he was looking for a fight. He turned off the engine and followed you inside. Before you could close and lock the door, he stepped into your house.
"What is your problem?" You asked venomously.
"What is your problem?"
"I didn't have any problem until you decided to get all confusing!" You dropped your tote bag on the floor, turning to face him fully.
"I'm confusing? Are kidding me?" He huffs out, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
"Actually, I'm not. You've been driving me nuts since we started hooking up. I'm over it!" His lip twitches into a sarcastic smile. "What the fuck was that with your ex? You completely pushed me aside. She treated you like shit, remember? She cheated, she lied, and she manipulated you. Do you want to get back to-"
"You're not my girlfriend, y/n!" He cut you off. "God, it's like you don't know your place." Tears pricked your eyes but you felt more angry than sad. Angry, you've never felt this way with San before. You're experiencing a lot of firsts tonight. San immediately realizes what he said, how hurt you were. He took a step closer to you but you put up your hands, putting up your boundaries for the first time.
"No, you're right. It's not like you hold my hand wherever we go or put your hands on my waist in public. You don't smile at me sweetly during dates. We're not completely vulnerable with each other, telling each other things we'd never breathe to others. It's not like we fuck almost every day! Do friends do what we do? Please, enlighten me. What's my place?"
"I'm sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have-" You're full-on bawling now, sucking in breaths where you can.
"I can't believe I've loved you for so long. I've torn my heart out for you and you just... you just throw it back at me like it's nothing!" His mouth opens but nothing comes out, instead he wraps his arms around you. You react once you feel him, trying to fight him off but he's stronger, trying to calm you down by hugging you.
You're screaming, all the feelings you've held inside bursting out of you, "Why can't you let me in?" You start to pound on your chest even though you know you shouldn't. You don't even notice that he's crying too. "Why can't it be me for once? Let it be me!"
"I'm sorry," He coos. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore, your feelings making it hard to focus. San catches you though, guiding you to sit on the floor.
San does his best to understand what you're saying through your sobs. He wants to understand what he's feeling. He thought he was doing this to get over Areum but why was he doing all the other things? He could've just stuck to the bare minimum but he didn't. Better question, how had he not noticed your feelings?
San was so caught in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed you had cried yourself to sleep. He was holding your head to his chest and he sighed, finally relaxing a bit. He couldn't really relax though, his mind still processing what you had said. He carried you bridal style to your room and thanking God that you had exhausted yourself.
San tucked you in and, after some hard debating, decided to lay in bed with you. He made sure that he wasn't touching you even though he knew he was going to leave before you woke up. He sighed to himself.
Even as you slept you were beautiful and he beat himself up for only now noticing how exhausted you looked. The man never understood why he was so willing and ready to sleep with you. He could acknowledge that there was steaming sexual tension but he never thought it would get this far. Nevertheless, you guys were in this situation; the very foggy area between friends and more.
Is this how you felt, absolutely terrified? You guys certainly couldn't go back to being friends after everything that's happened between you two. San's body started to shake as he silently cried. He couldn't even comprehend how much pain he's put you through these last few months.
____
You're not surprised to find your bed empty the next day; you wouldn't be surprised if San had sent you a message ending your friendship and promptly blocking you. You stare at your ceiling with tears already prickling your eyes. You weren't going to check your phone for texts. You just went to work.
The day went by fast, your boss giving you plenty of work to distract yourself. You were doing just fine until you pulled up to your apartment to find Wooyoung waiting to knock on your door.
"Wooyoung?" The man turned around, almost like a deer in headlights.
"Oh- Hey!" He quickly put his hands in his jean pockets. You walked to your door silently, unlocking the front door and inviting him in.
“What can I help you with?” You try to be casual even though all you’re thinking about is San and how you know Wooyoung’s here to soothe whatever problem you guys are having.
“I’m gonna cut to the chase. Talk to San. It’s only been a day of you two fighting and all of us are tired of him sulking.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“He came into practice looking all down and he didn’t talk to any of us. He just went through practice barely saying ten words throughout the whole thing.”
"How do you know this has something to do with me?"
“… Do I look blind to you? Everyone knows something’s going on between you two.” Wooyoung sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Look, I don’t know what happened but I’m sure it was probably his fault. I’m not saying you should forgive him right away but just talk to him. Please?”
——
So now, here you are, outside his door. You took in a deep breath before knocking hard on his door. You couldn’t muster the courage to ask if he was home but there was no practice so you hoped for the best.
The door unlocked within a few minutes. “y/n?”
“H-Hi,” You stuttered out, feeling the weight on your shoulders get heavier. “Can I come in?”
San gestures you inside and you take a seat on his couch. There’s an awkward silence when he joins you and you can’t recall any other time it’s been like this. It was so easy to talk to San before but now you can’t even form a sentence.
“So—“
“What’d—“
You said at the same time.
“You first.” San breathed.
“I just figured we had a lot to talk about.”
"Right..." He brushed off his legs with a sigh.
"I like you, San- actually, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for so long and we slept together and it got messy. We've never talked about what we were after that night. You just made me a rebound and I turned the other way..."
His eyes burnt into your face and you were too scared to meet them. "I'm sorry. I never meant to put you in that kind of situation. I shouldn't have been so selfish. I didn't think about the way you were feeling."
San's warm hand grabs yours. "I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to see how you feel about me. I'm so sorry I said that you didn't know where your place was. Your place..." He takes a big deep breath, making you look at him, "Your place is right next to me. I lost you for one day and in that one day, I've realized what you really mean to me. I'm in love with you, y/n."
He places his hand on your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn't even notice. You're falling apart at his touch but you were so happy that he felt the same way and- Oh my god! Choi San was in love with you!
"You just said you were in love with me." You breathed, a smile breaking out on your lips.
"I did, didn't I?" He chuckles, closing the distance between your faces. Your breath hitches. "Are you going to give me a chance to love you for real this time?"
Your heart is going to burst and you don't really give it much thought.
"Yes."
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Text
Some Like It Rough
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Gif credit @bodybebangin
18+ fic. SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT.
Taglist @ackles-nhl. @cbouvier23.
Hope everyone enjoys it.
Happy reading dollies
"I needed you. Where were you tonight"? Kayce sat on the edge of the bed holding his ribs.
"I was out with Beth". You leaned over and grabbed the medical bag.
"For six hours"!? Kayce hissed when you pressed on his side.
"We talked, she drank...a lot. Then we played some pool at the bar". You tell him wrapping his ribs up.
"Meet any guys"? Kayce nibbled on his lip, looking up at you.
"Not this again. I didn't talk to anyone except Beth and the bartender".
"Was he a guy"!? Kayce grunted as he tried to lay down on the bed. You huffed and put the medical bag back in the bathroom.
"Yes, he was. We hooked up in the bathroom while Beth table danced. He also has a wife and a kid on the way". You lied about two things but Kayce didnt care even if you joked. He was jealous.
"I think you should go stay with your parents. We need some time". Kayce sighed, getting comfortable in the bed.
"Why? So you can go fuck every girl you see? Thats what you want? Go for it". You aggressively grabbed your duffel bag and started stuffing your clothes inside. "You wanna know something, the whole time we talked we talked about you and I. Like I couldn't shut up about you. Beth was there ask her. Because I know she wont lie for me". You scoffed and grabbed your keys.
"Y/N, I'm sorry".
"I'm tired of your sorrys. You start a fight and then apologize. We never solve anything. I'm sick of it. That's all we do, since you got back. You need to grow up and figure out what you want whether it has me in it or not. Figure out your shit". You slammed the door behind you. Kayce had a lot to think about. First he hated being alone when he was hurt. He needed comfort. So he went to his big sister.
"So what was this fight about this time"? Beth lit up a cigarette.
"What happened at the bar"? Kayce relaxed in his rocking chair with a groan holding his side.
"We talked and I got a drink. What's all this about? I thought you two were good"?
"We were but I guess my jealousy took over. She came home looking good. Guys must have talked to her. Drooling over her and shit".
"The only guy we talked to was the bartender. He was nice. But married".
"So you didn't table dance"? Kayce chuckled when he figured out he was an asshole.
"Hell no. I'm not that drunk". Beth laughed.
"I think you owe her more than just a shit I'm sorry. You need to fuck her brains out". Beth looked at Kayce seriously.
"I'm not talking about this with you". Kayce gasped getting up from the rocking chair.
"I'm a girl. I know what we want. We want a hard rough fuck and a man that knows what the hell he wants. Not some chicken shit. So grow up and tell that girl you love her. And fuck her brains out". Beth sat back in her chair proudly. She knew her shit.
"Well, it'll have to be a slow fuck cause I'm banged up". Kayce laughed with a hiss.
"Just give her that dick good and she'll know you love her".
"Oh my god. I'm leaving. My sister just said good dick in the same sentence. Have a good night. Thanks". Kayce struggled as he tried leaning over to kiss Beth's head.
"That was the pg version. I could've gone graphic. You know me". She laughed as Kayce shook his head and limped down to his car.
Kayce knew what he wanted. He wanted you. He needed you. Kayce called your cell and nothing. He called your parents, nothing. He was starting to get worried. But he knew you wouldn't go stay with friends cause they would tell so he searched at the hotels around. Only two near the house. One was a nice place and the other was a hole in the wall.
"Is there a Y/N Dutton registered here"? Kayce asked the night clerk at the front desk of the nice place.
The lady typed on the computer. "Sorry no ones named that here".
"Can you try Y/N Y/L/N"? Kayce knew if you didnt use the Dutton last name then you would use your last name.
"She's here. Room 204. But am I allowed to give you her number? You a serial killer or something"? She was hesitant on giving Kayce the key.
This made Kayce chuckle. "No ma'am, I'm her boyfriend. We're in a long distance relationship right now but she's thinking about moving here". Kayce made up something so she would give him the key.
"Alright but if I find her in the morning dead, I saw your face and I will identify you. I'm not scared of you". The clerk pulled out a shotgun.
"Yes, ma'am. That's not going to happen though. You may hear some screaming and moaning but that's not from what you're thinking of". Kayce blushed a little but was honest, he didnt want her busting in and pointing that shotgun at him.
"You do you, boo. Go get your girl". She smiled and patted his hand as she passed him the key. Kayce snickered and started up the what felt like a hundred stairs. He groaned and grunted as he walked up holding his side. In his mind he was just hoping he was able to make you moan and not pass out at your feet.
Kayce knocked on the door. "Who is it"? Kayce heard your voice and smirked.
"Room service". Kayce disguised his voice.
The door opened and his eyes went wide, you cracked the door open in a towel. You had just got out of the shower.
"Kayce, what are you doing here"?
"Um, I, god you're beautiful". Kayce stepped in, licking his lips. He grabbed you by the waist and captured your lips with his. He closed the door behind him with his boot and your towel fell to the floor.
"Kayce"? You gasped when Kayce lifted you up, your legs immediately went around his waist. His calloused hands dug into your back as he kissed you.
Kayces knees hit the bed and he slowly laid you down. He released your lips and stood back.
You closed your legs and covered your chest.  "Don't hide from me". Kayces husky voice made you tremble. Your inner thighs became wet. The heat from your center was radiating off of you.
Kayce smirked as he brought his shirt over his head and threw it across the room. He kicked off his boots and unbuckled his pants, letting them fall to the floor. When he first came he was hurting but as soon as he saw you. What pain?
He was already so hard. He could have hammered a nail with his hard on.
"Open your legs, baby. Let daddy see". Only a few times has Kayce went daddy and every time the night was amazing so you hardly ever done it so it could be special.
You let out a squeak, your legs falling open. Kayce smirked to himself when he saw how wet you were already. He took his middle  finger and touched your clit. You thought you could have came right there. You bit your lip to quiet your moans.
Kayce chuckled, his slipped his fingers through your slit with ease, massaging your with his palm. "You like when daddy does this, dont you"? Kayce evil chuckled. You nodded.
Kayce bent down and got on his knees, he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you to the edge of the bed. He started kissing your inner thighs. His beard tickled, but you loved it.
"Mmm". You started to buck your hips but Kayce held you down with his strong hands.
"Someone's eager". Kayce was inches away from your clit, you felt his hot break on your pussy lips. You felt yourself get wetter.
Kayce took the tip of his tongue and flicked your clit. Making you whimper to be touched.
He flattened out his tongue and pressed hard against your clit and started wiggling his tongue.
"Fuck". You gasped, your hand went to his hair.
He sucked on your clit, his middle and index finger teasing your entrance then slowly pushing in. It was driving you crazy for him not to be rough on you.
"Daddy". You moaned his name and he went faster. It encouraged him to go rougher. His fingers went in deep and rough. His middle finger pushing against your g-spot. "Oh fuck". One hand tangled in his hair and the other one holding on to the sheets.
"I'm gonna cum". Kayce sucked you clit as he looked up at you, his fingers never losing their pace. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming". You screamed over and over as you felt your first orgasm take over your body. It trembled and shaked as he kept fingering. He let go of your clit with a pop. Your hand reached down and stopped his. You couldnt take it.
"Such a good girl for daddy". Kayce grinned smacking his lips as he climbed up your body. He helped you scoot up the bed. His eyes never leaving yours. You let out a giggle, a blush upon your face.
"I just wanted to say...". You cut Kayce off by a kiss to the lips.
"Shut up and fuck me". You pulled Kayce on top of you. Wrapping your legs around him, a knot tied with your legs so he couldnt go anywhere.
"Yes, ma'am". Kayce gladly did as he was told.  He lined himself up and pushed in. God, he stretched you in all the right places.
"Fuck, baby". Kayce mumbled into your skin of your chest. He started kissing along your collarbone, kissing your neck.
Kayce picked up his pace and his  thrusts were deep and long. His hands resting on your back.
"I love you. I'm sorry for being jealous". Kayce spoke between kisses and thrusts.
"I forgive you". You kissed his chest and nibbled at his ear lobe. "I love you so much. Fuck". You threw your head back into the bed when Kayce thrusted in the right angle. God, did he know your body or what.
"You gonna cum again"? Kayce chuckled as he felt you start to squeeze his cock. You let out a whimper and a nod.
"Cum for daddy". Those words sent you straight to the stars. Your orgasm exploded around Kayce. His cock still thrusting as your orgasm still fired away. He was close. So close. Your walls were milking him.
"Fuck". Kayce grunted, his head fell to your chest as he came. His hot seed covered your walls. You wrapped your arms around him and held him as both your orgasms exhausted both of you. You laid there until he went soft and he pulled out of you. Getting under the covers, Kayce pulled you into his arms with a kiss to your sweaty forehead.
"I'm truly sorry that I always let my jealousy get in the way of our relationship. I'm going to work on that. Because I know you would never cheat on me". Kayce said as he cuddled you in more.
"I would never cheat on you, ever. Especially after that. Holy fuck that was amazing. You definitely out did yourself there Mr. Dutton". You giggled, moving a piece of hair from his face.
Kayce chuckled. "You'll have my sister to thank for that. She told me what you wanted".
"So you did talk to Beth and found out that I'm a good girl". You teased.
"I know that's a lie. But I know that you want me and I want you. I was just being bullheaded. I'm sorry".
"I forgive you. Now". You cleared your throat. "How bad are your ribs hurting"?
"Not to bad. Why"? Kayce eyed you.
"I want a ride again, cowboy". You pushed him on his back and climbed aboard the Kayce train. You were never getting off no matter how jealous Kayce was or how angry you were about it. You both loved each other and that wasn't going to change.
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yesimwriting · 3 years
Note
Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?
 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol
also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 
also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 
--
They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.
But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.
The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.
You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.
I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.
"Oh, you're doing that thing."
I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"
"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."
I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."
"Clearly."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."
Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"
At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"
"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."
Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"
"That doesn't mea--"
"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"
"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.
Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.
I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.
It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.
The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.
"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."
"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"
"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."
Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."
"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"
Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."
"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"
"He just wanted to sell our cove--"
"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."
Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.
"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"
"I resent that--"
"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."
I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."
"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."
"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."
"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."
He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."
...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."
Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."
"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"
He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."
Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.
Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.
--
I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.
How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.
I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?
Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.
Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.
How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?
I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.
I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 
I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 
The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 
My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 
Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 
The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 
His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 
I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 
A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 
I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 
Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 
My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 
“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 
This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 
Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 
My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 
I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 
Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 
No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 
How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 
“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 
“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 
“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 
“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 
His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 
...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.
Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 
Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 
I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 
“You’re falling asleep.” 
I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 
“You’re impossible.” 
From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 
From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 
Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 
The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 
This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 
At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 
Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”
“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 
Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 
“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 
I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 
“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 
We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 
He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 
At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 
“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 
I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”
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sluttywonwoo · 3 years
Text
sunkissed || l.sk x reader
Summary: more like sunburned. on vacation with seokmin you lay out on the beach for a little too long, making for a very interesting night.
Warnings: swearing, smut
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )
Masterlist
The sun was absolutely blinding and even though you were wearing sunglasses you couldn’t see anything. You knew your boyfriend was still stretched out in a lounge chair under the umbrella behind you, though, because you could hear him humming along to the music streaming from his phone, and that was all that mattered. 
Last time you’d been able to see him he had been hiding a copy of his new Excalibur script behind a book and feigning reading. The two of you had agreed to a no work on vacation rule, and he’d been the first to break it, but you could tell he was just so excited about his new project that you let it slide.
It was your first vacation with Seokmin, and so far it had been wonderful. You’d checked in yesterday and done a little bit of the touristy thing, but today you were content to lie on the beach for hours with no intention of moving. 
The sound of the crashing waves had lulled you to sleep a couple of times already, and you knew Seokmin would make fun of you for it later, but with the salty breeze and warm sand beneath you, you couldn’t help it. 
The water was spotted with some swimmers and surfers, but the beach itself wasn’t very crowded. You and Seokmin had planned your trip so that you’d just miss the summer break rush so everything could be a little more peaceful. 
You were pulled out of your half sleep when Seokmin’s humming stopped. You opened your eyes and tried to blink away the spots dancing at the edges of your vision when a weight dropped on top of you. You smirked as familiar lips planted a kiss to your cheek and tried to squirm away, but he had you pinned.
“Almost ready to go back up to the room, baby?” he murmured in your ear.
You nodded, and managed to twist your body underneath Seokmin to look up at him. Your eyes finally adjusted and you grinned lazily at the sight before you. His fair hair framed by the golden sunset behind him, brown eyes more dazzling than anything you’d ever seen, faint freckles starting to show on his cheeks from the sun. You consider yourself lucky that you didn’t need to leave home to see such a beautiful view.
You hadn’t been keeping track of the time, but now that you saw the sun setting over the water you realized how long you and Seokmin had been sitting out there.
“Are you hungry? Let’s get something to eat, babe.” 
“I could eat.”
“So could I,” he whispered breathily, sending a shiver down your spine despite the heat. 
You’d been teasing each other with the clichés all day: being a little more thorough than necessary with rubbing sunscreen on each other, you untying the back of your bikini to sunbathe, Seokmin running into the water for point two seconds just so you could see him soaking wet and admire the way the water glistened on his body. You were on vacation, and the hotel room was beautiful. It had tub on the balcony and a breathtaking view of the blue-roofed villas cascading down the cliffs as well as the water.
However, the bed had yet to be broken in, both of you had been exhausted after exploring Akrotiri and Pyrgos, but it was something you planned to remedy tonight. 
You followed Seokmin up to the room where you both got ready for dinner at a restaurant a friend had recommended to you. You wore a short, white, linen dress and Seokmin wore a similar white button-up that he left the top buttons undone on, so that he could show off his tan.
Dinner was much like the afternoon. The details were blurry, but there was a lot of alcohol and a lot of back and forth. By sheer luck the host had seated you at a tiny booth in the back of the restaurant where you could still see the cliffs, but also sit smushed next to each other. Seokmin kept one hand on your knee throughout the meal, and if asked later, he would deny moving it any further, but you recounted the events very differently. At one point, your lips were moving in a whisper against his ear and the base of his neck and you swore Seokmin’s grip on your leg got so tight you thought you might lose circulation. 
“You want dessert, baby?” he asked when the waiter approached your table with the shiny silver menus.
“I’m good,” you managed to say, slowly, but steadily. “You?”
“What I want isn’t on the menu,” he replied in the same tone, looking directly into your eyes, ignoring how the waiter in front of your table pursed his lips.
He’d probably heard that line a thousand times, especially working in a vacation spot like this. His eyes screamed ‘just fucking say you want to eat her out and go’ but for what it was worth, the line worked on you.
“So I’ll bring the check then?” he asked when neither of you addressed him. 
“Oh, yes please. Thanks.”
After fumbling with the key and stumbling into the room, you were beyond ready to be fucked senseless when Seokmin slapped your ass cheekily, making you cry out in pain.
“Ow, Seok,” you bit out, putting your hand where his had just been. 
His face contorted with concern. “I’m so sorry, y/n! I didn’t mean-”
“It’s okay,” you said, smoothing your dress out over your body.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
He leaned back against the dresser, arms crossed, watching you with pain in his eyes. You knew how bad he felt about hurting you, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Usually, there was pain mixed with pleasure, but this time was different. You could still feel the sting on your skin. Hesitantly, you lifted the edge of your dress and saw the unmistakable tint of a sunburn all down the back of your legs, complete with a still fading mark of a handprint on your ass.
Seokmin gasped. “Y/n.”
“What the fuck?”
“Baby, I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” he apologized again.
“Neither did I,” you groaned, squinting your eyes down at your body.
“You put on sunscreen didn’t you?” he asked and you had to bite your tongue before you snapped at him. 
“Of course I did!”
“Did you reapply?”
“Yeah, once I think.”
He didn’t say anything, but you knew he was judging you. “Here, I think we have some aloe,” Seokmin said and disappeared into the bathroom. He emerged moments later with the signature bottle of green gel in hand. 
“Take your dress off, baby,” he instructed and carefully helped you lift your dress over your head, careful not to let the fabric touch your body.
With a sigh, you threw yourself on the bed on your stomach, only smiling when you heard Seokmin’s little chuckle from behind you. You felt the weight shift on the bed as he climbed up next to you, and sat cross legged beside you. He pushed some of the hair out of your face with a soft grin and popped the cap on the bottle of aloe. 
You could tell he was trying his best not to come off as deflated, but you understood. You were disappointed too. You had been looking forward to getting good dick all day, and now every time you moved pain rippled through your body.
“This might be a bit cold,” Seokmin said as a disclaimer before rubbing the first bit of aloe onto your skin.
You sighed with relief as the gel instantly cooled your skin on impact. Seokmin was careful to rub it in gently, applying just enough so you wouldn’t be sticky later. He started with your calves and worked his way up, and you began to feel progressively better. 
Once he reached your thighs you fought the urge to clench them together. You knew it wasn’t the time, but your body didn’t, and your boyfriend’s fingers on your inner thighs was basically code for it. All of the feelings from the beginning of the night came rushing back and his fingers were just so close to where you wanted them. You had to actively fight the urge to moan. 
“Fuck, y/n,” he cleared his throat awkwardly as he continued to massage aloe onto your ass. “Are you, uh, wet?”
You only nodded in response, still not trusting yourself to open your mouth. 
“Do you want me to...” he trailed off, but you got the idea.
“God yes,” you sighed out and let the tension evaporate from your body as you felt Seokmin’s fingers work their way back down to your thighs, right where they had been. He was just about to give you what you wanted when you stopped him. “Wait,” you said, grabbing his wrist and he froze, afraid he had done something wrong. “Use your other hand,” you held up his right hand, covered with green goo for him to see. “I have a feeling aloe in my vagina won’t end well.”
He laughed and leaned down to kiss you. “Of course, whatever you want, baby.”
He started his ministrations again, continuing to rub aloe on your body with his right hand while he began to work two fingers inside of you. You moaned out, louder than expected at the combined relief from the gel and the pleasure from his fingers inside you. 
“Feel good?”
“So good, Seok, baby,” you breathed.
“Let me hear you,” he encouraged, inserting another finger. You gasped in response and felt your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Fuck, y/n, you’re so good for me,” Seokmin praised eliciting another moan from you.
You felt yourself getting closer and closer, teetering on the edge, but it wasn’t quite enough. “Seokmin,” you pleaded and looked back at him, catching him licking his lips, eyes filled with lust in the dim lighting, making you swear. “Fuck, Seok, please.”
“Hm?” he asked, ripping his attention from between your legs and meeting your eyes.
“Fuck, I need more,” you gasped. “I need you.”
“Don’t worry, angel,” he said in a raspy voice with a glint in his eye and a smirk pulling at his lips, “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”
i didn’t go too in depth about what he sunburn looks like on the reader because…well, it’s different for everyone. like it’s a fucking tossup whether I’ll get sunburned or not because i’m hapa lol anyway lmk what you think I always appreciate feedback!!
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jungw8ns · 3 years
Text
GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !
PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.
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HEESEUNG:
the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)
he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there
but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️
oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking
the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨
while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks
"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"
HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭
when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did
*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"
he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually
"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"
when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records
heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3
JAY:
GOD THIS DUDE
THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊
"y/n stay behind me >:(("
"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"
"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"
you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔
you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️
jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞
BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM
while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table
and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask
you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?
"jay can you come here for a sec?"
you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him
now, how about we guess what happens next?
a. he faints
b. he runs away
or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night
if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊
THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD
"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"
when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life
"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"
he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru
"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"
sane (1/3)
would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)
he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes
JAKE:
really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile
but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing
he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games
def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️
and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of
"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"
"aww thank you angel 😊😊"
sane (2/3)
SUNGHOON:
would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people
there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 
it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers
HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY
“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”
idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3
from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths
cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️
the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃
yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again
very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:
SUNOO:
"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"
"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("
"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"
kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋
(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )
once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all
THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG
he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩
(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)
yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes
but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍
sane (3/3)
JUNGWON:
was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it
he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident
yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵
while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)
"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"
when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)
he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room
dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭
you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)
after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️
this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him
NIKI:
HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪
"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"
he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape
HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much
yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time
spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩
GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡
THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️
"haunted house next weekend???"
"BET"
NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️
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also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33
533 notes · View notes
kpopfanfictrash · 3 years
Text
Raise the Barre (Epilogue)
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Author: kpopfanfictrash
Creative Contributor: @baebae-goodnight​ for the last Raise the Barre moodboard TT she nailed it
Pairing: Jimin / Reader
Rating: 18+ (Smut)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU
Warnings: sexual content. Dry humping, fingering, hand job, oral (female), breast play, multiple orgasms, Jimin gets turned on by making someone else come, dirty talk. Jimin’s pants are tight.
Word Count: 13,409
Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.
Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.  
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“And… more pointe shoes,” you said, opening the box in your lap. “Wow. Thanks, mom and dad.”
Your dad laughed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “You’re welcome, kiddo,” he said, nodding from the couch. “I know Russet gives you some already, but you can never have too many.”
“Out of curiosity.” You glanced at the tree. “Are there any boxes from you which aren’t related to dance?”
“Not related to dance…” Your mom pretended to think. “I don’t understand.”
“Mom!”
She laughed. “I’m kidding! Yes, there are other presents. You just happened to pick all the pointe shoe boxes first.”
Shaking your head, you placed the box aside. You smiled though, warmth in your chest at being home for the holidays. Classes at Russet had ended a week prior and it had been nice for a few days to simply relax. Already though, you found yourself itching to return to the city. It was strange to wake every morning and not head to ballet. It was even stranger to take classes at your old studio, trying to stay in shape before second semester began.
Playing with the string of your sweatpants, you couldn’t help glancing at your phone on the couch. It had been several days since you’d last seen Jimin in person. Oddly enough, the separation had been harder than you’d thought it would be.
Immediately after ending things with Finn, you and Jimin had tried to keep your distance. The pain of your separation had been too fresh to even consider dating someone else but, as time had gone on, you and Jimin had started becoming friends again.
It was hard not to be, with Jimin continuing as your dance partner and classmate. At the end of the semester, you’d had the opportunity to switch partners, but you and Jimin had chosen the status quo. It just made sense this way; you couldn’t think of anyone else you’d trust as much as him.
At first, things between you were strictly professional. You saw him only within the confines of the dance studio but eventually, his presence bled into your normal life. At first, the outings were small. Jimin went to a pregame you also attended. He saw you once at the coffee shop and, instead of running away, he stopped to chat. One time, he walked you back to your dorm.
When the month became December, you found your outlook improving. Most of November had been spent wallowing in your dorm, but the holiday season brought with it endless activities. The very first weekend of the month, a bunch of your Russet friends decided to go ice skating and you’d ended up tagging along.
The biggest problem had been you’d never ice skated before. Noelle had been patient, skating backwards in front of you and dragging you around the rink. Jimin had done the same thing for Hoseok, who was in a similar predicament to yours, and at some point, they swapped partners and left you skating with Jimin.
When he’d taken over for Noelle, your stomach had swooped. Hands touching, he’d led you gently around the edge and the world had seemed to still. It had been the first time you’d felt anything stir outside of your break-up. Whatever hurt and distance had sprung between you, it seemed something had survived between you and Jimin.
Nose red, Jimin had smiled as he skated backwards. “It’s easy,” he’d told you. “You just swivel, Y/N. In and out, in and out. Got it?”
“Um, no!” you’d yelped, nearly crashing to the ice when Jimin let go of your hands.
He’d laughed, catching you easily and skating like that for a while. Eventually, Jimin had helped you off the rink and gotten hot chocolate, which you insisted on buying. Payback, you said, for the impromptu skating lessons.
That day had been a turning point for you both. Throughout the month prior, you’d texted sporadically but after, you seemed to talk every day.
Jimin even offered to drive you home from Russet, given the fact that your hometowns were so close together. After much hemming and hawing, you’d eventually taken him up on the offer. The savings it gave your bleeding bank account were well-worth the potential discomfort.
This had led to both the best and worst twenty-four hours of your life.
Best, because Jimin was an excellent road trip companion. He let you choose the music, laughed at all your dumb jokes, and agreed to play the road trip games you suggested. You’d already made a firm rule not to compare Jimin to any past boyfriends but couldn’t help but note this as an improvement over anyone prior.
The sole reason the twenty-four hours were also painful was because you stopped at a hotel halfway through. It was either this or drive until 3:00 AM, so you chose the smarter option and rested for the night. You and Jimin bought separate bedrooms, but they’d ended up next to one another, so you’d been forced to spend a sleepless night imagining Jimin separated from you only by a thin sheet of plywood.
You had told yourself this was silly. At Russet, Jimin hadn’t been much further away, but something about the closeness in the hotel made you nervous. It was infinitely easier to forget about boundaries when you were separated by only a car console for hours at a time. Infinitely easier to forget the rules when you were outside of Russet, cocooned by his car and the snow.
You couldn’t help but think about the one kiss you’d shared.
That had only been a taste, barely a teaser, but the memory kept you awake for more nights than it probably should have. You couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like to kiss Jimin again, under different circumstances.
Groaning, you’d covered your face with a pillow that night and tried your best to sleep. It hadn’t really worked, and you’d shown up at the car the next morning with dark shadows beneath your eyes.
Forcing yourself back to the present, you glanced away from your phone and focused on the tree – only to see its screen light up in your peripheral. Grabbing your phone, you realized Jimin had texted. Stifling a smile, you scrolled through the conversation until you found his last message.
Jimin: MERRY CHRISTMAS! [10:23 AM]
Jimin: 
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Y/N: oh my god everything’s so... coordinated lol how long did that tree take to set up?  [10:24 AM]
Y/N: and merry Christmas 😊  [10:24 AM]
Jimin: not long at all. I just googled ‘christmas trees’ and that was the first one I found  [10:24 AM]
Y/N: ha ha hilarious  [10:25 AM]
Y/N: so, what are the Park family plans for the day?  [10:25 AM]
Jimin: the usual. Opening presents, going to my grandparents later for dinner. What about you?  [10:25 AM]
Y/N: same, minus the grandparents. We usually have a pretty low-key day  [10:26 AM]
Jimin: sounds nice  [10:26 AM]
Jimin: what’s your favorite present so far  [10:27 AM]
Y/N: 
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Jimin: LOL  [10:30 AM]
Jimin: how many of them did you get? I’ve gotten two new dance bags and seven pairs of black leggings. It’s like our parents have forgotten we do anything else  [10:31 AM]
Y/N: no new dance belts? 😈  [10:32 AM]
Jimin: Y/N, I’m shocked  [10:35 AM]
Jimin: mind out of the gutter. Stop thinking about my junk  [10:35 AM]
Y/N: as your dance partner, I have a vested interest in your junk. What if it breaks free in the middle of practice?  [10:38 AM]
Jimin: the more delicate ladies would faint, I imagine  [10:41 AM]
Jimin: and probably Paulo  [10:41 AM]
Y/N: lmao  [10:43 AM]
Y/N: but seriously, I hope you get presents other than dance gear  [10:43 AM]
Jimin: back at you haha  [10:47 AM]
Y/N: I can’t help but notice you didn’t get me, your dance partner, a Christmas gift though  [10:50 AM]
Jimin: was the drive home not enough?  [10:50 AM]
Y/N: oh, shoot. You’re right! You did get me a Christmas gift  [10:51 AM]
Y/N: I’m the one who’s been remiss  [10:51 AM]
Jimin: don’t forget about my housewarming gift, too  [10:52 AM]
You smiled, sitting back on the sofa. Jimin was lucky enough to be moving off campus second semester. He, Hoseok and Alex Wong were moving into an apartment not far from Paulo’s. You and Noelle had decided to stay in Grace Hall, but you’d talked about moving someplace else next year.
Jimin was heading back early to move into his new place, so you’d need a different ride on your return trip to Russet. Still, you were looking forward to Jimin’s apartment hosting parties in the new year.
Y/N: don’t get greedy on me now, Park  [10:54 AM]
“Who’re you texting?”
Jerking your head up from the screen, you nearly dropped your phone. From the couch opposite, your mom gave you a knowing look.
“No one,” you said hastily, setting your phone aside.
“Oh, really?” She glanced with your dad. “No one wouldn’t happen to have dark hair, his own car and excellent table manners, would he?”
Immediately, you felt your face heat.
When Jimin drove you home before Christmas, your parents had insisted on feeding him before he continued to Harleigh Heights. This had led to the weirdest double date of your life – which was, in fact, not a date – including you, Jimin and your parents for dinner. Luckily, your parents had been great and Jimin hadn’t cared, but you’d been endlessly mortified for your first date with Jimin to have included your parents.
Not that you’d called it a date. When Jimin had left that night, you’d brushed it aside and he’d simply gone along with it. After Jimin had left, you’d gone to your room and wondered what the hell you were doing. It was clear you still liked Jimin and wanted to be more than just friends. Still, something continued to hold you back.
You weren’t sure when it was considered appropriate to move on. The line seemed fuzzy, so you hadn’t dared cross it and Jimin hadn’t asked. You got the feeling you needed to be the one to make the first move – which made sense. You’d been the one who asked for more time. You’d told Jimin you’d say when you were ready.
Any next steps would have to come from you.
It had been weird to go home and not see Finn. His house was only fifteen minutes away from yours – you’d driven past it on your way to the grocery store last week. Still, seeing his home hadn’t caused the pain you’d expected. It was strange not to see him, but more like you’d forgotten something you needed to do, as opposed to missing his actual presence.
If you were being honest, Finn had crossed your mind less and less lately. Possibly because you’d been falling out of love with him long before you’d broken up in November.
Still, it would be unfair to jump into something before you were ready. You’d already hurt Jimin once this past fall and were determined not to do so again. No matter how good things had been lately between you, you didn’t want to make the mistake of dating Jimin too soon.
Despite this, things had become flirtier between you as of late. Exhibit A: casual text conversations about Park Jimin’s junk.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said lightly.
Your dad laughed as he stood from the couch. “Alright, then,” he said, grabbing another gift. “How about you open this one next?”
Accepting the thin package he handed over, you frowned. The box wasn’t large and, shaking it slowly, you heard no sliding inside.
“I swear,” you said as you began to undo the bow. “If you wrapped your passport photo again, dad...”
Laughing, he settled back on the couch by your mom. “It’s not that, I promise.”
Grumbling, you opened the box and immediately froze. Staring at the paper inside, you slowly looked up. “Is this… is this what I think it is?”
“It’s a plane flight,” your mom said with a smile. “I know we’re supposed to drive you back on the third, but we thought you might want to celebrate New Year’s with your friends.”
“But…” Speechless, you returned to the box. “We always hang out together on New Year’s Eve.”
“I know,” said your dad. “But maybe it’s time to start some new traditions, kiddo.”
With that, he stood and took his mug to the kitchen. Sensing he wasn’t needed for this conversation any longer, he began washing dishes and to prepare breakfast. Once he was gone, your mom moved to your couch and settled beside you.
“I… this is too much,” you said, immediately backpedaling.
“It’s not.”
“Well…” Hesitant, you considered the possibilities. “I guess Ari will be in the city for New Year’s Eve. Maybe Noelle, too. She mentioned she might go back early.”
Gently, your mom smiled. “That’s great if you want to hang out with them, but… didn’t Jimin mention going back before New Year’s?”
Startled, you glanced up. You were surprised she’d remembered. Jimin had mentioned it briefly at dinner last week – he’d said he was moving off campus, which was why he’d needed to return home to pack.
“I – he might have,” you said cautiously.
“I see.” She paused. “I just… I don’t want you feeling like you need to hold yourself back, honey.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Your mom glanced meaningfully at your phone. “I’m glad you’re taking time to yourself,” she said slowly. “It’s important to know who you are and what you want. But also – don’t feel like you need to follow someone else’s timeline when it comes to moving on.”
“I know, but…” You trailed off. “We only broke up in November.”
She shrugged. “Only you know when you’re ready, honey. I just don’t want you to keep punishing yourself for something that’s over. You’re allowed to be happy, even if you’ve messed up in the past.”
Swallowing, you glanced again at the gift. The plane ticket was for the day before New Year’s Eve. Plucking it from the box, you sat back on the couch.
“But…” you said lowly. “Mom, it’s only been two months.”
“And are you still in love with Finn?”
“No.”
“And did you learn anything from what happened this fall?”
“I… Yes. A lot.”
“Good.” Reaching out, she squeezed your hand. “Learn the lessons you need to learn, and then move on. Self-flagellation isn’t productive, Y/N.”
You nodded, still uncertain about what she was saying. Her words made sense, but everything she was saying uncovered a dormant fear. You were scared. Scared of hurting someone else, scared of being hurt by someone else in return. Your last relationship had ended so badly, it was hard to convince yourself it might be worth it to try again.
Finally, you turned to face her on the couch. “Does it ever get any easier?” you asked. “This fear of being hurt… does it ever go away?”
Something sad passed over her face. “Yes and no,” she said, pulling back her hand. “You’ll never be as innocent as you were in your first love. There’s something special about loving someone and never having been hurt before. Once you’ve gone through that kind of pain, you aren’t the same after. But… it does get easier. And better. You’ll know more about how to support this time, instead of tearing down. How to make a love stronger, instead of hanging on.”
Something about this speech gave you comfort, and you slowly nodded. Again, what she said made sense but if there was one thing you’d learned from the fall, it was no matter how great the advice was, it was impossible to take if you weren’t ready to hear it.
You continued wondering if the risk would be worth it. No matter how much you felt for Jimin, you couldn’t help but remember how you’d felt breaking up with Finn. You hadn’t been in love with him at that point and it had still been so painful. It was terrifying to imagine loving someone again and having things end the same way.
Your mom was right, though. You couldn’t keep punishing yourself for something you couldn’t change. There were several ways you could move on from here. The main question to ask yourself was whether you wanted Jimin in the picture.
“Alright,” you said softly. “Thanks, mom.”
“Anytime.” Smiling, she stood and dusted off her pants. “I’m going to see if your dad needs help making breakfast. Don’t be too long, now!”
You nodded, watching her go, and then glanced at the ticket. Your mom’s words continued to run through your mind and after a moment, you picked up your phone.
Jimin had texted back.
Jimin: I would never!  [10:57 AM]
Y/N: hey, so  [11:01 AM]
Y/N: I did get one non-dance gift this year. A plane flight the day before New Year’s Eve  [11:02 AM]
Jimin: oh, wow! That was really nice of your parents  [11:03 AM]
Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes. When you opened them, you found yourself newly determined.
Y/N: when do you get back again?  [11:03 AM]
His ellipses started, then stopped, then started again.
Jimin: December 28th  [11:04 AM] 
Y/N: what are your New Year’s Eve plans?  [11:04 AM]
For a moment, he didn’t respond, and you felt your heart catch. Maybe you’d misread things. Maybe Jimin had moved on and didn’t care about you anymore. Maybe he didn’t want you to tell him you were ready.
Jimin: I’m free 😊  [11:05 AM]
Jimin: want to be my New Year’s Eve date?  [11:05 AM]
Smiling ear to ear, you responded.
Y/N: yes. Please  [11:06 AM]
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On the actual day of New Year’s Eve, you found yourself stressed beyond belief. Standing in front of the mirror of your dorm room, you adjusted your dress and worried over the hemline. Jimin had arranged to meet you around 7:00 PM and it was dangerously close to 6:55.
“Is the dress too short?” you asked, turning a little to face Noelle. “It is New Year’s Eve in the city. Should I wear pants, or something? Will I be cold?”
Noelle considered, then shrugged. “Just drink more. Problem solved!”
Snorting, you turned back to the mirror. Nervously, you smoothed down the front of your dress. You’d bought it at an after-Christmas sale and had fallen instantly in love. It had seemed perfect at the time, but now you were having second thoughts about the thin straps and tight bodice.
“Alright, so Y/N.” Noelle changed the subject. “Here’s the plan. Are you listening?”
Hiding a smile, you adjusted an earring. “Listening.”
“Good. Okay, so Ari and I will be at a party uptown. If the date goes badly, just say the word and we’ll call you a cab. You can be ringing in the new year with us within the hour.”
“Perfect,” you said. “It’s good to have a back-up.”
“It is.” Noelle paused. “Not that I think you’ll need this, of course.”
“Well, you never know.”
“Please.” She snorted. “What’s Jimin going to do? Be too charming? Too respectful of boundaries? Wear pants that show off his ass a little too much?”
“Noelle!”
She laughed, coming to a stop alongside you. Noelle wore a sparkly dress which made her skin glow, although this may have been the glitter dusted over her shoulders. Looking at herself in the mirror, she fluffed her hair.
“Seriously,” she said, meeting your gaze. “You’re going to be fine.”
“I know, I know.” Shaking out your arms, you forced yourself to exhale. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. It’s been a long time since I went on a first date.”
Noelle considered. “That’s true. Allow me to give you some dating tips, then.”
Laughing, you turned around and sat on the futon. “By all means.”
“Alright – number one.” Noelle removed lipstick from her purse. “Don’t order anything with garlic. I know, that sucks because garlic is everything, but no one wants to make out while they have garlic breath. Rule number two!”
“Whoa, whoa,” you said. “Who said anything about making out?”
Noelle gave you a pointed look. “Just in case it should happen…”
Shaking your head, you sunk back on the futon, but you knew she was right. Tonight was New Year’s Eve, after all. Ideally, you’d like to do more than kiss Jimin, but this seemed like too much of a jinx to say out loud.
Mentally, you agreed to the ‘no garlic’ rule.
“What else?” you prompted.
“Let’s see.” Noelle began to reapply her lipstick. “Relax.”
“What?”
Glancing at you in the mirror, she raised both brows. “I can see your shoulders tensing from here, babe. Just relax, okay? Tonight will be fine. You’re just hanging out with Jimin. You’ve done that before.”
“I know,” you groaned, lowering your face to your hands. “For some reason though, I’m very aware of the ‘date’ aspect of tonight. I don’t know why.”
When you looked up, Noelle gave you a sympathetic look, but before she could say more there came a knock at the door. Half-standing, you moved to open it, but Noelle shooed you back.
“Rule number three,” she said as she crossed the room. “Never answer the door for your own date.”
“What?” you laughed, although you sat back down on the futon.
Grabbing the handle, Noelle pulled open the door. Blocking you from view, she leaned her shoulder against the frame.
“Password?”
“What?” came Jimin’s voice, sounding confused.
“That’s correct!” Noelle stepped aside.
As you stood, you saw Jimin for the first time. He wore a pea coat over his outfit, his dark hair pushed back from his face in a devastating manner. When he saw you, Jimin froze, and you saw his eyes widen.
Silently, you congratulated yourself on having picked the right outfit. His gaze slowly trailed your body, lingering in places which made your cheeks heat. When he returned to your face, he slowly exhaled.
“Hey,” he said. “You… you look beautiful.”
Smiling back, you found yourself at a loss for words. “So do you.”
Jimin grinned and you stood there, smiling at each other like idiots until Noelle cleared her throat.
“Well,” she said, side-stepping Jimin to grab her coat. “I’m going to head over to Ari’s. You kids be safe, okay?”
“We will,” you laughed.
Noelle left in a flurry of kisses and glitter, waving goodbye as she stepped out the door. Jimin turned to face you once she was gone, offering a smile.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked. “I brought you these.”
From behind his back, he pulled out pink peonies, which made you gasp. They were your favorites, a little limp from the cold, but still beautiful. Taking them gently from him, you turned them over in your hands.
“They’re wonderful,” you said happily. “Thank you.”
Jimin smiled. “I’m glad you like them.”
Glancing around, you found a clean glass near the sink and filled this with water. Arranging the peonies on your desk, you took a step back and cocked your head. You’d always thought the idea of flowers on dates was kind of cheesy, but now that you’d experienced it in person, it seemed unimaginably sweet.
“There,” you said, turning back. “All set.”
Jimin smiled at this, then glanced at your bare arms. “You’re going to be cold without a coat,” he said. “That’d be a bad way to start off the new year.”
“Oh – duh,” you said, hurrying towards your wardrobe.
Pulling a coat out, you slipped this over your dress and buttoned the front. As you left the room, you turned off the lights and shut the door behind you. Jimin walked with you down the hall, continually glancing your way from the corner of his eyes.
You felt oddly shy, despite this being Jimin beside you. Jimin, who you’d known since you were teenagers. Jimin, who’d been both the utter bane of your existence, along with the single person you trusted most in the world. He’d tossed you up in the air and caught you no question and somehow, this felt like the most daring thing you’d ever done.
It was strange to walk beside him, out on a date whose future held a large question mark. Excitement and uncertainty warred in your stomach, which only seemed to exacerbate the situation. You felt as though you stood on the edge of a precipice, staring into a ravine with no discernable bottom.
As you left the building, snowflakes swirled in the sky up above and you looked up in surprise.
“Oh,” you exhaled, breath frosting before you. “I didn’t realize it was snowing!”
“Yeah.” Jimin grinned, tilting back his head. “Snow is my favorite weather, actually.”
“The wet and the cold does it that much for you, huh, Park?”
“That, and the romance of it all.”
Your smile softened a little as you fell into step alongside him. The snow continued to drift as you walked, melting as soon as it touched the pavement.
“So, where are we going?” you wondered, glancing at him. “You said you’d tell me once you picked me up and I’ve got news for you, Jimin. I’m here. I’ve been picked up.”
“Right, sure.” He shoved both hands in his pockets. “I made a reservation at this restaurant around the corner. The food’s really good so I hope you’ll like it.”
“I’m sure I will.”
“Huh.” Jimin paused. “That was easy.”
You shrugged. “I’m just excited for tonight. That’s all.”
His gaze softened a little when he glanced at you. “Me, too.”
Smiling, you continued to walk alongside him. New Year’s Eve in the city was a grand affair. The sidewalks were still lit with holiday lights, people hurrying past in brightly colored coats. Privately, you were glad Jimin had made a reservation at a restaurant instead of trying to brave a club or a bar. You’d heard horror stories from people who paid extravagantly to get into a club, only to spend the entire night waiting in line at the bar.
Turning the corner, you saw the restaurant Jimin had chosen and brightened. It was one you’d walked past several times and always wanted to try but had never found time.
Jimin held open the door as you entered. The inside still had their holiday decorations up, garland strung across every surface with tiny, white fairy lights hung up above. Everyone who was dining wore formal attire, laughing and chatting in the glow of the fireplace. The food smelled amazing and immediately, your mouth watered.
Joining the line at the hostess stand, you waited for the couple before you to leave and then Jimin stepped up.
“Park,” he told her. “Party of two.”
The hostess smiled, nodding as she flipped through her notebook. “One moment, please.” The longer she looked though, the more her face fell. After a moment, she glanced up. “Park, you said?”
“Yes.” Jimin nodded. “P-a-r-k.”
The woman nodded, flipping through her notebook again as though the name might magically appear.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, glancing up again. “There seems to be some kind of mistake. I don’t have you listed as a reservation.”
Jimin’s expression faltered. “Can you look again?” he asked, leaning forward.
The hostess nodded, running her finger down the numbered rows. “I can’t find you anywhere. Do you remember who you spoke with on the phone?”
“Rebecca.”
“Oh.” Her face immediately fell. “Rebecca left the restaurant last week. It seems a few reservations slipped through in the transition. Is there… well, before I do that – let me see what I can do,” she blurted out, turning around to rush into the restaurant.
Jimin watched her disappear and you saw his expression tighten.
Silence fell between you as you adjusted your coat. Jimin looked stressed and you weren’t sure what you should do about it. Frantically, you tried to remember times he’d been stressed during class, but before you could do or say anything, the hostess returned.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, looking harried. “The restaurant is completely booked up. I was trying to see if we could squeeze you in, but there’s just no room. I’m so sorry. Normally, only one person does the reservations, but we’ve been so busy lately...”
“It’s fine,” you said, jumping in. The poor woman looked like she was about to burst into tears. “Please, don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out.”
Jimin glanced at you, surprised, and then nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed, returning to the hostess. “Thank you so much for your help – I appreciate you trying. We actually have a back-up reservation somewhere else, so don’t worry. We’ll come back another time!”
“Oh, really?” Her entire face brightened. “That’s so good to hear. New Year’s Eve, and all. Thank you for being understanding!”
“Yes, busy night,” Jimin said with a smile. “Take care of yourself!”
The woman nodded, seeming grateful when you stepped out of line. Jimin followed your footsteps, heading towards the door and then came to a stop. Slowly, he exhaled.
“So,” you said, turning to face him. “Where are these back-up reservations?”
Jimin winced and met your gaze. “I have none,” he admitted. “She just looked so sad. I wanted to put her out of her misery.”
“Wait.” Piecing this together, you paused. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” he said miserably. “I only made reservations here and that was super lucky, considering most places in the city have been booked for weeks. I don’t have any back-up plans.”
For a moment, you could only stare. “So, you said all that just so that poor hostess wouldn’t worry about a mistake her restaurant made?”
“I – well, yeah.”
You stared another moment, then started to laugh. It started out small but grew until eventually, you were wiping tears of mirth from your eyes.
Jimin watched you laugh, seeming thoroughly confused. “What’s so funny?”
“It’s just…” Shaking your head, you paused to catch your breath. “You’re unreal. Most people would be super stressed about New Year’s Eve plans falling through, but here you are lying to make a hostess’ night better.”
He blinked, still uncertain. “I’m… sorry about that.”
“Don’t apologize!” you insisted as you straightened. “It’s… wonderful,” you said to him shyly. “I like that about you.”
Slowly, his expression changed. “I really don’t have other plans, though,” he admitted. “I wasn’t lying about that. And I am stressed about my reservation falling through. I wanted this night to be perfect.”
The sweetness of this made your heart start to melt and newly determined, you nodded.
“We can fix this,” you said. “We’ll just go somewhere else.”
“Like where?”
“Like...” You paused. “We could hang out at my dorm. Or at your apartment! One of our kitchens has to be free, right? We could make dinner and hang out, watch the ball drop.”
“We could go to my place,” said Jimin slowly. “Hoseok and Alex are at a New Year’s Eve party uptown. We’d have the kitchen to ourselves.”
“Perfect,” you said. “Let’s go there.”
“I should warn you, though – I can only really cook one thing.”
“Spaghetti-o’s?”
“Okay, two things.”
You laughed. “So, what’s the first thing?”
“A pasta dish they taught us in Senior Foods class. But it’s nothing fancy.”
“Perfect.” You shrugged. “That will go nicely with my contribution of store-bought bread and olive oil.”
Jimin started to grin. “Alright, then, it’s settled. Let’s go to my place.”
You smiled when he opened the door, following him onto the sidewalk. Jimin’s new apartment was a few blocks away, but time passed quickly with him beside you. Oddly enough, the mishap at the restaurant seemed to have cleared some of the lingering awkwardness.
Noelle had been right, you realized – you had nothing to worry about while you were with Jimin.
He talked while you walked, detailing the ongoing fight at his apartment about some posters Hoseok wanted to hang. This segued into the general ridiculousness of New Year’s Eve – a topic you wholeheartedly agreed with.
“It’s stressful,” Jimin complained as you walked. “Everyone’s always asking about your resolution, you need to find someone to kiss at midnight, and there’s that super awkward moment with the countdown and your date…”
You laughed, grabbing a basket as you entered the grocery store. Jimin had suggested you stop by, since he didn’t have much food at his place.
“Doesn’t the countdown make it easier?” you joked. “It really dumbs the whole process down. Fool-proof.”
“Well, sure,” Jimin said. “But then you end up staring awkwardly at someone for ten seconds while you slowly lean forward and wonder when you should blink.”
Laughing, you reached on tiptoe for a loaf of bread. “Alright, you got me there,” you admitted. “I’ve never had a proper New Year’s Eve, anyways. I’ve always been dating someone and then, it’s just kind of assumed you’ll kiss. None of the magic you see in the movies.”
Jimin nodded. “Most of that’s just movie magic, though. You aren’t missing much – trust me.”
“I don’t know,” you said as you turned the next corner. “The anticipation sounds kind of nice. Wondering if someone will kiss you back, if they’re thinking about you the same way you are…”
Jimin made a humming noise, low in his throat.
Coming to a stop, he reached overhead to grab some pasta. Putting this in your basket, Jimin casually brushed your arm as you met his faze. Fighting back a shiver, you tried to remember what you’d been saying.
Giving a smile, Jimin continued forward and kept shopping. You stared after him a moment before your gaze dropped to his ass. Inhaling quickly, you remembered Noelle’s comment about Jimin’s tight pants. She hadn’t been wrong about that. Hurrying along, you quickly caught up.
Grabbing another jar, Jimin placed this in the basket. When he caught your eye again, he grinned, his hair falling forward. The sight made your heart flip-flop in your chest.
As you entered the check-out line, Jimin came to a stop alongside you. His gaze traveled the store, eyes widening when he glanced over your shoulder.
“What’s that?” Jimin gasped.
Startled, you turned. “What’s – hey!” you blurted when he took your basket.
Grinning widely, Jimin placed the food before the cashier. “Too slow.”
“Jimin, come on,” you said, slightly flustered. “I can pay. I –”
“You can pay next time, if you want.”
This shut you up and you stared at him a moment before you stepped forward.
“There’s… going to be a next time?” you said.
Jimin glanced in your direction. “If you want there to be.”
“I do,” you said softly, and he smiled.
Taking another step forward, he pulled out his wallet to pay and you let him – this time, anyways. Outside, it seemed to have grown colder since your arrival and you shivered as you exited the shop. Noticing this, Jimin immediately undid his scarf from around his neck.
“Here,” he said, handing it over. “I don’t need this.”
“But then you’ll be cold,” you pointed out, accepting it anyways.
“I’ll jog in place to keep warm.”
“… With me walking beside you?”
“Yep.”
You laughed, even more so when Jimin began to demonstrate. He jogged for a few steps, then slowed to a walk.
“Changed my mind,” he said with a wince. “I’d rather be cold.”
You laughed, cheeks starting to hurt from both this and the wind. Jimin’s apartment wasn’t far, although it did turn out to be a third-floor walk-up. This left you slightly winded when you arrived at his place, to which Jimin shrugged and said the rent had been cheap.
Opening his front door, he led the way into – boxes. Tons of them, although most of the furniture had been set up around them. Jimin fumbled for a light, flicking this on and setting down the groceries.
“Most of the boxes are Alex’s,” he sighed, looking around. “Hoseok and I have a secret deal we’re going to unpack him ourselves if he doesn’t do it by Monday.”
“That doesn’t sound like much of a detriment to Alex.”
“I never said what we planned on doing with his things once we unpacked.”
You laughed, undoing your coat to set aside. Glancing around, you saw Jimin was right. Most of the boxes were scrawled in the same handwriting. Beyond them, you saw the living room had been mostly set up with a couch and TV.
To your right lay the kitchen, in which Jimin was already unloading the groceries. Beyond him was a hallway, through which you assumed were their bedrooms and bathrooms. Wandering back to Jimin, you realized he was staring.
“What?” you said, coming to a stop. “Did I spill something on my dress in the store?”
“No,” Jimin murmured, shaking his head. “I just… I know I said this before, but you really do look incredible.”
“Oh.”
Looking at him, you felt your face growing hot. Jimin smiled and ducked his head, resumed pulling things out of the bag. Stepping from your shoes to place in the hall, you returned to the kitchen and pulled out a stool.
Sitting down, you propped your chin in your hand. “Aren’t you going to take off your coat?”
Glancing down, Jimin blinked. “Oh,” he laughed, undoing the buttons. “I forgot I was wearing it.”
You smiled, but this quickly disappeared when you saw what he was wearing. Jimin had worn a dark blazer and trousers, paired with a paisley shirt and black boots. He looked ridiculously good and again, Noelle’s comment about his ass came to mind.
She’d been correct – his pants were well-shaped and well-formed.
After removing both coat and shoes, Jimin returned to the kitchen and pushed a hand through his hair. You watched him get to work, leaning forward a bit when he began to dice vegetables. Immediately, your brows raised. It seemed Jimin had undersold his skills in the kitchen.
When you said as much, he laughed.
“Maybe a little,” Jimin said. As he pushed veggies from the cutting board, the pan began to sizzle. “It’s all part of my master plan. Set expectations low, then over-deliver.”
“It’s working,” you said with a laugh. “You seem pretty damn impressive to me.”
Jimin’s cheeks reddened. “You’re just saying that.”
“Why would I lie?”
“I seem to remember some shocking texts about my junk and dancer’s belts. You could just be after my body, Y/N.”
“I – that’s not!”
He looked up and grinned. “Kidding.”
Flustered, you blurted, “That wasn’t nice!”
Jimin laughed. “I’m sorry.”
You huffed, waiting a minute before you continued. “You do look really good right now, though,” you said softly.
He looked up, eyes wide. As much as Jimin said he enjoyed being liked, it seemed to throw him for a loop whenever you said you liked him. It made you pause, mulling over this for a minute.
“You seem surprised,” you said quietly. “Whenever I say things like that, you always look surprised.”
“Well…” Jimin hesitated. “I just think… there’s been a lot of times where I never thought this would happen. It feels kind of unreal have you here. In my kitchen. On a date.”
“Times after November?”
Jimin paused.
Your brow furrowed. “Before then?”
Opening the pasta, Jimin added this to the pot. He stared into the steam, slowly exhaling before he looked up.
“Let’s just say I’ve wanted this for a while,” he admitted.
“What? But you hated me before Russet.”
“I…” Jimin trailed off. “Kind of. It’s complicated.”
When he failed to elaborate and returned to his cooking, your eyebrows shot up.
“Uh, no,” you laughed. “You can’t just say that and not explain what you mean. What are you talking about?”
Jimin winced as he set down his spoon. “Okay,” he said, gripping the counter. “I guess what I’m saying is I never really hated you. Not truly.”
“You didn’t.”
“No.” He spoke flatly.
“But…” Confused, you searched his face. “You’ve hated me ever since we met, Jimin. That first weekend at NUVO dance competition. We were both called out to demonstrate and you tripped me!”
“Well, maybe that’s not exactly what happened.”
“What are you talking about?”
Jimin released a low breath. “Okay, so here’s the thing. That weekend happened a little differently from my perspective.”
“How so?”
“We were both called out to demonstrate,” he said, repeating your words. “But I hadn’t seen you before then. When we both reached center and I turned and saw you – I froze. I couldn’t remember how to act. Every thought I’d ever had just… flew out of my head.”
You stared at him, speechless.
“I didn’t know what to do,” Jimin continued softly. “I’d never felt like that before. When you started to dance, it only got worse. I’d never seen someone dance like you did. That’s why I entered the combination late. That’s why I was in the wrong spot at the wrong time and that’s why I accidentally tripped you. I was… well, I was distracted.”
“By me,” you whispered. “You were distracted by… me?”
“Yeah.”
“So,” you said, breath catching. “This entire time, you haven’t really hated me?”
“Ah, I don’t know about that.” Jimin rubbed the back of his neck. “You could be really infuriating,” he said with a laugh. “There were times when you genuinely pissed me off. I meant it when I said I wanted to win against you. But also… I don’t know. I never really forgot the first time I saw you.”
“Oh,” you whispered, unsure what you were feeling.
It made your head spin to hear this different version of events. Jimin hadn’t hated you – at least, not in the same way you had. He hadn’t been the one to make the first move after all. You had when you’d decided not to listen to his apology.
“Oh my god,” you groaned, burying your face in your hands.
“Hey – what’s wrong?”
Dropping his spoon to the counter, Jimin came around and stood beside you. Keeping your head down, you refused to look up until Jimin touched your arm.
“I just,” you exhaled, turning to face him. “It was my fault. This entire time, I thought you hated me and that’s why I hated you. But instead, I just decided to hate you – and for what?”
Jimin’s upper lip twitched. “I wasn’t entirely blameless, you know. I was such a little shit at that age. I wouldn’t have believed me, either.”
“You tried to apologize, though!”
“Hey.” Gently, he gripped your elbows. “If it makes you feel any better, I did trip people just to get to the front. I was an ass. It’s why that Jungkook guy hates me. I started dancing later in life, so I was really hung up on proving myself.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t true,” you told him. “You didn’t trip me on purpose, and if I’d only been less stubborn –”
“Whoa, hey.” Jimin smiled. “You weren’t the only stubborn one. Maybe it started off as a misunderstanding, but I didn’t really fight it. You were my competition as much as I was yours.”
“I guess,” you said quietly. “I just… I feel like I wasted so much time hating you. Maybe we could’ve even been friends.”
His gaze sparked. “Just friends?” he asked with a quirk of his brow.
“Jimin,” you groaned, but started to smile.
“Listen.” Expression softening, Jimin moved closer. “Even if I had decided to explain all this in high school, would you have believed me?”
“Probably not.”
“Exactly. I was a dick back then.” He nodded. “Remember that one time I lied and told you the awards ceremony had been pushed back an hour?”
Sitting up straighter, you glared. “Oh, I remember. I showed up after they’d already taken the photo for Top Junior solos.”
Jimin grinned. “Or the time I put an out of order sign on the women's restroom after your solo at BRAVO, so you had to run all the way across the auditorium?”
“That was you!” you blurted out, wide-eyed. “No one would believe me when I said it was! Every girl was so pissed off at you that weekend.”
“Which is exactly why I could never admit it was me!”
In disbelief, you shook your head. “You did all of that just to get back at me?”
Jimin’s smile disappeared. “Hey, you weren’t innocent either,” he argued. “Remember the time you spilled an entire water bottle next to my bag so that when I sat down, my ass got all wet?”
Devious, you smiled. “Honestly, there was kind of an ulterior motive there. As much as I hated you, your ass looks great in damp sweats.”
Jimin’s jaw dropped a little.
Managing to shut this, he took a casual step forward. “Is that what you thought?” he murmured, barely able to conceal the thickness in his voice.
“I… may have noticed a few things about you.”
When he placed a hand next to you on the counter, your breath hitched in response. Jimin repeated this with his other hand, bringing his body a step closer to yours.
Hesitant, his gaze roamed your face. “What else did you notice?”
“I…” you exhaled and glanced at his lips.
The air between you could have been cut with a knife, heated for a different reason than the stove beside you. Which – eyes widening, you glanced over.
“Shit!” you blurted. “Jimin, the pasta!”
Startled, he looked in the same direction as you and realized the water was boiling. Rushing away, Jimin entered the kitchen and turned down the burner. Now that you were separated by a solid counter, you felt somewhat dazed when you glanced up and saw him.
Meeting your gaze, Jimin came to a stop. “Anyways,” he said softly. “Now, you know. I didn’t trip you on purpose. I never really hated you. And I’m incredibly glad you’re here tonight.”
Watching him speak, something warm bloomed in your chest.
“Me, too,” you whispered.
Smiling, Jimin returned to the pasta and you settled back on the stool. Delicious scents soon filled the kitchen and you realized how truly hungry you were. You hadn’t eaten much at lunch in preparation and by now, you were famished.
It wasn’t long before Jimin placed pasta onto plates, adding the bread you’d cut up on the side. He brought these to his table, disappearing briefly to return with two candles.
“Oo,” you said as you took a seat. “Fancy.”
Jimin lit the one closest to you with a flourish. “We aim to please, here at Park Jimin’s Fine Eating and Dining.”
“Is that the name of your restaurant?”
“It is.”
“And you’re set on that decision?”
“I decided on a whim, but I have no regrets,” Jimin said, taking a seat across from you. “Now, eat before you piss off the chef and he takes back your food.”
Laughing, you dug into the pasta before you. It was delicious and, after the very first bite, you sighed in appreciation. Apparently, Jimin had truly set the bar low. Conversation began to flow, any lingering tension disappeared after talk of your past.
It was the oddest thing. You’d heard stories from friends about other first dates. They worried about how to behave, what to wear, or what to say to their date – but none of these worries seemed to exist for you in the moment. You’d been so concerned before the night began, but now that you were here, all these worries seemed to fly out the window.
You’d thought you’d spend the entire night comparing. Comparing Jimin to your last relationship, comparing Jimin as a date to Jimin as a friend, but instead, it felt like natural progression. It wasn’t a matter of comparing Jimin to anyone else, but rather simply enjoying where the night led.
After dinner, you insisted on helping clean because Jimin had cooked and bought the food. Donning rubber gloves over your dress, you stood at the sink and began to wash dishes. Jimin laughed as he joined, pulling on gloves to dry the dishes beside you. Once this was done, he suggested watching a movie before the ball dropped.
Collapsing onto the sofa, you adjusted your dress and scanned the room. The posters Jimin had bemoaned were now hung over the TV – you wondered if Hoseok had managed to somehow sneak them past his roommates. Small touches here and there made you think of Jimin.
A game he’d mentioned was out on the coffee table and a blanket which smelled like him was draped over a chair. Pulling this towards you, you wrapped it around yourself as Jimin left the kitchen.
Holding two glasses of wine, he paused when he saw you.
“What?” you said, glancing down.
“Nothing.” Jimin cleared his throat. “Are you cold?”
“A little,” you admitted, tugged his blanket closer.
“Shoot.” Jimin frowned. “The heat’s been weird since we moved in. I’m not sure how to fix – oh!” Setting the glasses down, he rushed towards the hall. “Do you want a sweatshirt?” he called.
“Yes, please!”
Jimin reappeared moments later, a navy sweatshirt in hand. Handing this over, he settled beside you on the sofa. He’d ditched his blazer and now, Jimin was dressed in only the paisley shirt and slacks.
Pulling his sweatshirt overhead, you somehow managed to get stuck right away. It was hard not to, with your hair and the dress, trying not to flash him while you kept your legs crossed.
After a moment of watching your undignified struggling, Jimin cleared his throat.
“Need help?”
“Yes, please,” you said weakly.
Jimin laughed, helping you free and once the hoodie was settled, you sighed and leaned back. Glancing sideways at Jimin, you found him already looking at you.
“What do you want to watch?” you asked.
Jimin blinked, then glanced at the TV. “Hm,” he mused, grabbing the remote. “We could watch the ball drop and enjoy the fact that we’re sitting inside, not standing in the freezing cold without any bathrooms.”
“I know!” you said with a shudder. “Out of all the stupid traditions, that’s one I’ll never understand.”
“How do so many people have it on their bucket list?”
“Right? That, and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Zero out of ten. It’s cold, there’s wind and again, there’s the question of bathrooms.”
Jimin laughed as he scrolled through the channels. “Alright, so no to the ball drop. Want to watch a movie?”
“Sure.”
“What movie?”
“Why’re you making me pick?” you whined, sinking deeper into his cushions. “That’s such a large amount of pressure.”
“Exactly, which is why I don’t want to do it.”
You laughed and after some back and forth, decided to watch About Time. This was a movie about obstacles and falling in love, which seemed more than fitting because of the new year. At first, you and Jimin were watching diligently but eventually, he asked a question and conversation slowly drifted from the movie.
At some point, Jimin lowered the volume to focus solely on you. You curled deeper into the couch beside him, your thighs somehow touching and shoulders inches apart. Jimin’s head leaned against the cushion and he continued to smile in a way which made your heart flip.
“Here’s a question,” you murmured, no longer pretending to watch the movie.
His eyes gleamed in the darkness. “What?”
“Why’d you tell Sabrina you only wanted to be friends?”
Briefly, his eyes widened. “How did… you know about that?”
“She told me.”
“Hm.” Jimin gave you a dubious look but moved past it. Sabrina had begun hanging out with your friends as of late. “But alright, I’ll answer. If I do though, you need to answer one of my questions. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“So, I was single when I came to Russet.” Jimin paused. “It was the first time in a long time, and I may have hooked up with a couple of people.”
“Hm,” you said tightly.
His eyes danced with amusement. “Jealous?”
“Answer the question.”
He laughed. “Anyways, I only hooked up with Sabrina the one time. Afterwards…” Jimin sighed. “I felt kind of weird about her asking me to switch partners. Then I overheard what she said about Ari at weigh-ins and just didn’t feel like anything more... Plus, there was the other reason.”
“And what was the other reason?”
“I was starting to like you,” he said, a bit softer. “The day you said you wanted to be friends was a giant weight from my chest. And the more relaxed you were around me, the more… I don’t know. The more I liked you, I guess. My mom has always called me her hopeless romantic,” Jimin said with a smile. “I don’t know about that, but I can be single-minded when I like someone. That was part of the reason I told Sabrina we shouldn’t hook up anymore.”
“Oh,” you whispered.
His smile turned lopsided. “Does that answer your question?”
“Yeah. I guess it does.”
“My turn, then.” Smile disappearing, his gaze darkened. “Why did you really call me that night at the club?”
“Oh. That. Well, I –”
“And don’t say it was because I had a car,” Jimin interrupted. “There were a lot of people you could’ve called to help. You didn’t, though. You called me. Why?”
You hesitated before you realized there was only one answer. “I wanted to see you,” you said honestly. “I was scared, I was alone and… you were the person I wanted to see.”
Jimin’s gaze had become nearly black, the air between you thick with something unsaid. You were suddenly conscious of all each part of your body pressed to his. When Jimin shifted on the couch, you moved somehow closer.
He hesitated, then glanced at your mouth. “I don’t…” Jimin licked his lips, sounding hoarse. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.”
“You won’t,” you told him.
Something uncertain passed over his face. “Maybe we should take things slow.”
“Or,” you said slowly. “I could tell you things I like about you, instead.”
“And what would be the point of that?”
Your gaze shifted to his. “You’ve told me a lot tonight about how much you like me,” you said softly. “About how long you’ve liked me. I think it’s time I returned the favor.”
Something in his gaze cracked and he nodded. The TV in the background was quiet, only the noise from the street and the whoosh of the heater breaking the silence.
“First,” you said, glancing down at his lap. “You have really nice hands.”
Jimin’s lips twitched. “My hands? I’ve always thought they were small.”
“Wrong. They’re the perfect size. Never have they dropped me.”
“Mm, that’s a good point.”
“And your smile,” you said.
“What about it?”
“I like your smile,” you told him. “It makes me smile.”
His eyes crinkled in demonstration. “Oh, yeah?”
“And your ears.”
Jimin laughed. “My ears?”
Reaching out, you delicately traced over an edge. “I’ve spent a long time looking at your profile, Park. I know what I’m talking about here.”
As your fingers moved lower, feather-light down his jaw, Jimin’s smile disappeared.
“I like your jaw, too,” you told him.
In the darkness, his gaze glinted, and you felt his jaw tense.
“And your lips,” you added, gaze lowering. “I like those a lot.”
“Y/N…” Jimin’s eyes fluttered shut.
“Yeah?”
He slowly exhaled. “I just don’t want you to regret this.”
“Jimin.”
He opened his eyes.
Your expression was serious. “I told you I wouldn’t jump into something before I was ready,” you said, lifting your other hand. “But I’m not in love with Finn anymore. It doesn’t hurt when I think about what happened last semester. I like you, Jimin. I want you. I don’t want to keep pushing you away. I get if you’re unsure about this, though. If you’re unsure about me.”
Jimin’s gaze roamed your face. “Unsure?”
“I know I hurt you before. I shouldn’t have kissed you and ran away. But I promise this isn’t like that. I’m not running away. I’m the furthest thing from running and I –”
Cutting you off, Jimin pressed his lips to yours.
You shuddered a little, leaning into his kiss before he pulled back. Jimin exhaled, barely a breath before he kissed you again.
Noses brushing, lips lingering, the kiss slowly deepened. Your hands curled into his hair, pulling him forward to bask in his warmth. It was dizzying, how different this felt than last time. Last time you’d been heartbroken, desperately yearning each time your lips had touched.
Now, Jimin felt like air, like sunshine as you drowned in his presence. Hand grasping your waist, Jimin moved you closer so your chest nestled to his. Lifting his fingers, his touch skimmed your jaw, your hairline before he circled the nape of your neck.
Drawing away, he bit down on your lip. With a low sort of moan, Jimin sought your lips again. When his mouth opened yours, his tongue swept forward and you nearly combusted.
This was only to tease, though. Only to taste before he pulled away, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Thumb skimming your jawline, Jimin tilted your head back to brush a kiss to your throat. Moving higher, he worshiped a slow path up the column of your neck. At your ear, he nipped gently before he returned.
Now, his kisses began to deepen. Mouths opening, your tongues brushed only briefly before he chose to withdraw. You were glad you were kissing on the couch, because suddenly your own legs felt weak underneath you.
Hand re-gripping his waist, Jimin pulled you against him. Eager, your hands found his neck and the blanket dropped to the floor. It wasn’t enough, though – you needed more, wanted to feel him fully beneath you. Rising on your knees, you swung a leg over his lap and settled on top.
Jimin hissed, his head hitting the back of his couch. Your dress had ridden up in the process, exposing your thighs – his thumbs skimmed the surface before he looked up.
“Shit,” Jimin croaked.
Smiling, you bent to kiss him again. Jimin arched upwards, each part of your body electric where you touched. He shifted his hips, granting friction and heat which made you short-circuit. Pressing yourself closer, your thighs sild backwards until they nestled around his waist.
Jimin’s hand found your spine, pulling you closer as his hips pushed upwards. You groaned when you felt him shift underneath you. The kisses grew steadily hotter, this ache in your core increasing with every touch.
“Can I…” Pulling away, Jimin glanced lower. “Can I take off the sweatshirt?”
“Yeah,” you said, a bit dazed.
Jimin didn’t waste time, helping you pull this swiftly overhead. It was tossed on the ground and when your dress was revealed, he inhaled.
Slipping his hands up your bodice, Jimin met your gaze. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he confessed, his voice hoarse.
“Do what?”
Your breath hitched when his hands skimmed your breasts, lingering in all your softest places.
“Touch you,” Jimin said. “It was torture to see you, to look at you and not be able to do this. Not how I wanted, anyways. I’d tell myself not to think about it, but…”
“Jimin.”
He paused and looked up. “Yes?”
“Touch me. Please.”
Without hesitation, Jimin slid his hands lower. Cupping your ass, he pulled you against him and allowed his other hand to drift up your spine. You shivered, closing your eyes as your head tilted back.
His hands slid up your front, over your breasts and under the straps of your dress. Jimin’s thumbs drifted lower, brushing your nipples through the fabric of your bodice. Opening your eyes, you looked down at him and saw his gaze darken.
Reaching higher, Jimin cupped the back of your neck and returned your lips to his.
He kissed you slowly, purposefully as you melted forward. Shifting against him, the kiss began to intensify. Mouths opening, your tongue swept forward in bold strokes against his. Suppressing a whimper, you ground your hips on his lap.
“Is,” you murmured, breaking free. “Is your bedroom unpacked?”
Jimin went still. “I – mostly, yeah.”
“Can I see it?”
“Fuck, yes,” he groaned, releasing your thighs as he stood from the couch.
You laughed, sliding down his front as your feet hit the ground. Tugging your dress down, you followed Jimin when he grabbed your hand. He pulled you down the hall, coming to a stop at the last room on the row. Pushing open the door, he flicked on the light and came to a stop.
Stepping forward, you glanced around Jimin’s room. You recognized some of the items from the two times you’d visited Jimin in the dorms. Photos of his family were carefully hung on the wall and he had the same pillows laid over his queen-sized bed.
Turning around, you took a step backwards and sat on his bed. “It’s nice,” you said, patting the comforter. “I like it here.”
Jimin watched you, his gaze half-lidded from the hall. “I like you here.”
Cheeks heating, you watched him enter and gently shut the door. Leaning back on your elbows, you arched a brow.
“Where’d we leave off?”
Jimin exhaled as he crossed the room. “I think you were on my lap,” he said hoarsely, kneeling beside you.
You nodded, moving to straddle him as he leaned to the wall. Catching your waist with both hands, Jimin pulled you against him, kissing you roughly even before you sat down. Suddenly ravenous, his hands slid to your ass as he rolled you against him. Inhaling sharply, you sucked his lower lip between teeth as he groaned.
Reaching up, Jimin tugged on your hair as you inhaled, throat exposed for him to kiss slowly down your front. When he returned to your lips, you ground your hips impatiently over the bulge in his pants.
Shifting his weight, Jimin’s spine hit the wall. He stared at you, slightly dazed with his kiss-reddened lips. Without looking away, Jimin lifted his fingers and began undoing his shirt. You stilled, watching each inch of skin be revealed. When he reached the last button, you gave in and helped push this aside. Smiling, Jimin sat up as his shirt fell to the floor.
You weren’t sure where to look first. Hands faltering, you slid them up his abs, over his shoulders and down his biceps. He was so perfect, it almost hurt to look at. Jimin’s breath quickened as you touched him and slowly, he lowered you down to the bed.
“Enough,” he said roughly, returning your lips to his.
As you kissed it turned lazy, nothing but grinding and touching. Jimin’s hair was messy beneath the pull of your fingers. He didn’t seem to mind, his own hands digging into the curve of your thigh. Playing with the hem of your dress, he deftly slid upwards.
“Jimin,” you said, breaking free. “Unzip me.”
His gaze darkened. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Jimin nodded, following suit when you sat up beside him. Turning around, you exposed your back and Jimin began to lower the zipper. He moved slowly, taking his time as his fingers brushed skin. Holding the dress up with your hands, you waited until it was fully unzipped before releasing it to the floor.
Turning around, you found Jimin’s jaw slack.
“You…” He roughly inhaled while he scanned your body. “Lace, Y/N? Really?”
“Do you like it?” you asked.
You may have gone overboard preparing for tonight. Although you hadn’t been sure what would happen, you also hadn’t wanted to be caught off your guard. Tonight, your constant need to plan had come in handy. Beneath your dress you’d worn a crimson lace bra and panties – a matching set which Jimin seemed to like, based on his expression.
“You’re going to kill me,” he muttered, lowering his lips to your neck.
Kissing slowly down your chest, he came to a stop where the two halves joined together. Skimming the length of your torso, his hands trembled a little when he brushed the lace.
Jimin looked up. “I’m sorry I keep touching you,” he murmured. “I just – you’re driving me crazy. You’ve been driving me crazy.”
“You said that before,” you whispered.
“I meant it.”
Kissing again up your body, he lingered in places your skin was exposed. Inhaling, your eyes fluttered shut as you grasped his shoulders.
Jimin’s hand slid between your thighs. “Part them,” he murmured, and you obeyed.
Heart racing, you opened your eyes and watched Jimin drag a finger slowly up the center of your panties. Even you could feel how damp the fabric was, how wet and ready you were for him.
Lifting his finger to his lips, Jimin sucked. “You’re soaking,” he breathed, sounding eager. “So good to me.”
Lowering his head, his tongue flicked your breast. Teasing the nipple through fabric, he urged and he sucked until it was fully erect. Moving onto the next one, Jimin grazed with his teeth until it pressed wantonly into the lace cup of your bra. Moaning his name, you arched against him.
Finding your wrists, Jimin pinned you backwards as he continued. Thighs caging your waist, he kept you hostage with his exquisite torture. The lace of your bra was now drenched, Jimin sucking debauchedly through fabric.
“Jimin,” you groaned, twisting on the sheets. “Please.”
His hips rolled lazily against your center. “Not yet,” he insisted before pulling back. “Not until you make a mess of my sheets. Want to ruin these panties.”
Sliding a hand between your thighs, he lightly circled your entrance. Feeling how wet you were, Jimin softly groaned. Sitting back on his heels, he finally relented and pulled your panties down. Tossing these to the floor, he returned to your thighs and spread your legs.
Lightly, Jimin dragged the pads of his thumbs up and down your panty line. “God, you’re so perfect,” he murmured. “Got my sheets fucking soaked.”
Separating two of his fingers, he slowly dragged his digits up and down your folds. You inhaled, feeling needy while you watched him touch you. Each brush of his fingers had you dripping – teasing over your entrance, he refused to give you exactly what you wanted. Feather-light, Jimin circled your swollen clit with his finger.
Hands gripping the sheets, you could only stare while Jimin brought you closer and closer to the edge. He was barely touching you, but it was the most turned on you’d ever been in your life. Jimin’s thumb swiped over your clit, rubbing you gently as you keened in frustration, arching against him.
He continued like this until you were gasping, begging for more and then – only then – did he slide a finger inside you. Legs trembling, you arched on his mattress and stared at him, glassy-eyed. When Jimin began to move in and out, you lost all control.
Lowering his head, he closed his lips over your clit.
“Oh my god,” you whimpered as you broke apart.
Barely did he suck before you were coming undone, pulsing around his fingers. Shuddering with pleasure, you collapsed on the bed as you rode out your high. Gently, Jimin pulled out his finger and returned to your lips.
Reaching behind you, he undid the clasp of your bra and tossed this on the floor. Once you were fully naked, he pulled you against him. You felt limp, thoroughly sated, but familiar excitement began to stir at his front pressed to yours. Tilting your head, he gently kissed you while your fingers wound in his hair.
Jimin moved slow, letting you take the lead. Your core continued to throb with oversensitivity, although this seemed to lessen the longer you kissed him. Before long, your nipples were hardening as you rubbed against him. Fingers digging into your thigh, Jimin pulled this over his hip to watch you lazily grind.
Realizing he still wore pants, you lowered a hand, determined to fix this. Jimin helped, dragging the zipper down to throw both these and his boxers down on the floor.
He bent to kiss you again, but you placed a hand on his chest. “Wait,” you murmured. “I want to see you.”
Jimin exhaled, leaning back so you could take in his body. If you’d thought his chest was unreal, it was nothing compared to his trim hips, sculpted thighs and cock nestled between.
“Oh,” you said, dragging a hand down his front.
Jimin shuddered a little. He was already hard, his cock thick and pretty with a reddened tip. It made your mouth water to look at, wanting to lick up the shaft. Reaching between you, you closed your fist around him and slowly jerked him off.
You watched in fascination as Jimin responded. His jaw tightened, abs tense while you teased over his frenulum. His cock responded instinctively, hardening further the longer you touched him.
After a few minutes of this, Jimin shook his head. “No more,” he said huskily, taking your hand in his. “I’ll come if you keep doing that.”
“Oh?” you murmured, gaze darting lower.
He chuckled, a rough sound in his throat. “I like watching you come,” Jimin confessed, his cock hard between you. “It turns me on. I’m… still trying to recover from your last orgasm.”
“Oh,” you said, in a completely different way.
Jimin exhaled, hair falling forward. “I hope that doesn’t weird you out.”
“Does it… weird me out that you like giving orgasms?”
“Well, when you put it like that.”
“How else would I put it?”
His grin became devious. “You could ask for another.”
Breathless, you nodded and Jimin’s gaze darkened.
He descended your body, not wasting any time as he positioned himself between your legs. Licking slow up your center, you gasped and instinctively drew your legs higher. Jimin didn’t bother easing you into it. No, now he ate you out like he wanted to.
Kissing your folds, he returned to your clit and sucked this into his mouth. Rolling the sensitive bud with his tongue, he teased and released before you knew what was happening. He continued to do this, spreading you underneath him and bringing you close to coming, only to pull back and leave you maddeningly empty.
Spreading your folds, he began licking sweetly over your clit. This was followed by loose, lazy sucking and more tender flicks. You stared dazedly at him between your legs, the sight more erotic than anything you could’ve imagined.
Grinding his cock into the sheets, Jimin thrust his hips while he pleasured you. You could tell he enjoyed this; each grunt from his lips was more affirmation. Moving lower, he circled your cunt with his tongue just to lap up your juices. You gasped at the sensation, having never felt it before. Flicking your clit with his thumb, Jimin fucked your cunt with his tongue before he slowly withdrew.
Spreading you wide, he returned to your clit and you clasped a hand over your lips before a moan could escape. Each curl of his tongue left you gasping, writhing beneath the pleasurable onslaught of his mouth. Pulling away, Jimin pressed a gentle kiss to your thigh before he rose up your body.
At your mouth, he kissed your fingers. “You don’t have to be quiet,” he told you. “I want to hear the noises you make, Y/N. It makes me feel good.”
Removing your hand, you slowly nodded.
Jimin just grinned, dropping between your legs to begin eating you out again. This time, you didn’t hold back. Jimin seemed to appreciate this as you slipped further from control. He was so good with his mouth, making you see stars as your legs started to shudder. When he slid his finger inside you and fingered you again, your hands fisted in the sheets.
“Ji-jimin,” you gasped, writhing beneath him. “Jimin, I – oh.”
He began to move faster, adding a second finger as your insides clenched around him. Everything tightened, hovering at a breaking point while Jimin continued, relentless. His mouth on your clit, his fingers inside you – everything broke apart when you came, gasping his name.
Jimin didn’t move, kissing your sex as you slowly came down. He lapped at your sex, licking up your arousal before withdrawing his fingers. Once your breathing had steadied, Jimin returned to the sheets beside you.
“Good?” he breathed, draping an arm over your waist.
“Oh my god, yes,” you exhaled, burying your face in his chest.
He laughed, pulling you closer. Jimin started to pull away, which made you look up and frown.
“What are you doing?” you said.
He paused. “I’m looking for a tissue.”
“Why?”
“I… I’m kind of at a loss here.”
“No, I mean why now,” you said, baffled. “I can come again, Jimin. I want to come with you inside me.”
Jimin stared at you a moment.
“Unless…” Uncertain, you hesitated. “You don’t want to…?”
“Fuck,” Jimin muttered, sounding hoarse. “No – I want to. I really want to. Are you sure, though?” he said, reaching to open the side drawer of his bed.
You grinned when he pulled out a condom, ripping this open.
“I’m sure,” you murmured, moving closer.
Jimin rolled the condom onto himself, pausing before he went any further. Shifting his weight so he hovered over you, Jimin searched your gaze. Reaching lower, you casually stroked his cock and guided him to your center.
He didn’t enter yet, content to take his time. Instead, Jimin bent and kissed you, dragging a hand down your side. His fingers paused at your breast, tweaking your nipple until it stood fully erect. Moving to your waist, he curved under your ass and lifted your hips to his.
Arching upwards, you felt his cock brush your center. The touch made you pant, wanting him inside you and wanting it now. Rolling over his length, you marveled at the feel of him between your legs. Having him so close and not having him inside you was maddening.
“Jimin,” you whimpered.
“Yeah?” he murmured, continuing to thrust between your thighs.
“Please,” you begged him.
“Alright, baby,” he said and rolled you onto your back.
It was the first time he’d used the endearment, sending a wave of warmth through you as your legs parted. Reaching lower, Jimin positioned himself at your entrance. It took him a moment to work his way in; you were so wet, he needed a second try. With only his tip inside, you immediately clenched and buried your head in his shoulder.
Lightly, Jimin brushed a kiss to your hair. “Relax, baby,” he murmured, making you glance up. “I’ll make you feel good. I promise.”
Slowly, you nodded. “Okay.”
Laying slowly back down, you tried to relax while he worked his way deeper. With slow, shallow thrusts, Jimin finally bottomed out and you stared at him in amazement. His cock was thicker than you were used to and stuffed to the brim like this, you felt so full. Glancing down, you saw his hips nestled snugly to yours.
When you looked up, Jimin met your gaze. “I’m sorry,” he exhaled, hanging his head. “I just – I need a minute.”
“What’s wrong?” you blurted, immediately worried.
A smile passed over his lips. “Nothing’s wrong.” He looked up. “You’re just… fuck. I feel like a damn virgin. You’re so tight and wet, I’m losing my mind.”
Hearing him say this sent a shiver through you. Shifting your hips, you reveled in the sensation of him moving inside you.
Jimin groaned. “No,” he protested. “You can’t do that right now.”
“Do what?”
“Try and make me move,” he murmured. “I know you can’t see yourself, so you can’t see how hot you look. Tits out, pussy spread and dripping all over my cock.”
“Oh,” you breathed.
“Sounding like that.”
“Jimin. If you don’t –”
He suddenly thrust deeper, grinding his pelvis against your core and making you groan. Speechless, you stared as he slowly pulled out. Jimin teased you with his tip, moving a few inches back in before he thrust again.
“Oh,” you groaned, jolted upwards on the bed.
His gaze dropped to your chest. “Fuck,” Jimin said quietly, dropping down to an elbow.
He moved again in earnest, thrusting slowly in and pulling back out. It made your breath catch, needing more but loving the torture. It was torture to feel every inch of him and have Jimin continue to hold back. You knew he could go faster, deeper, but wanted to stay in control.
Dropping his head, Jimin slowly kissed your neck. His cock continued to move, fucking you slowly as your legs opened wider.
“Jimin,” you whimpered.
Your hips chased after his, hoping to coerce him deeper.
He smirked. “Yes, baby?”
“Please,” you said, arching against him. “I want more.”
“You want it harder?”
As he said this, Jimin increased his strength. Keeping the tempo the same, each thrust of his cock had your lips parting with pleasure.
“Yes,” you whimpered, barely hanging on.
“And faster? You want that, too?”
You nodded, slack-jawed as Jimin sped up the pace. His cock began to pound into you, hand fisting in sheets as he gave it to you hard. Arching underneath him, your hands dragged down his back as Jimin fully let go. With each thrust of his hips, his pelvis brushed your clit and yet, it still wasn’t enough.
“More?” he teased, continuing to fuck you.
“More,” you whimpered, sliding your hands up your breasts. Tweaking the nipples, you watched his gaze harden. “I want more, Jimin.”
He immediately moved, as though he’d been waiting for this. Grasping your ankles in one hand, he lifted them high overhead and pulled his cock out. You gasped when he did so, your hands falling to the side while you were put on display. The position pushed your pussy lips together, giving an incredible view of your dripping cunt.
Jimin plunged his cock back inside, nearly making you scream. It felt so deep this way – so deep and hard and deliciously wanton. Jimin fucked you from above, hips slamming into you and making your breasts bounce.
Jimin groaned, his hips never faltering. “Touch them,” he said, lowering your ankles to one shoulder. “Touch your tits for me, baby.”
You obeyed, hands sliding over your breasts to tease your nipples. This sent a shock of pleasure straight to your core and Jimin hammered your g-spot, making you see stars. Jaw slack, you could only lie there and take it while he made you come.
It was too much, the wave of pleasure threatening to overwhelm, but then Jimin leaned forward and you finally snapped. You felt him release into the condom as you fell apart, rope after rope of hot cum inside you.
Eventually, Jimin softened and fell onto his elbow. As he opened his eyes, he sought your gaze and you smiled. His cheeks were flushed, his hair dark and sweaty and you couldn’t help the deep surge of affection within you.
“I don’t know about you,” he murmured. “But that was pretty fucking incredible.”
“Same here,” you whispered. “I’d like to do it again sometime.”
“Three orgasms weren’t enough?”
“Were they enough for you?”
“No.” Jimin laughed. “I could watch you come all night. But we should probably get you cleaned up and all that.”
“Probably,” you agreed, although you made no effort to move.
Eventually Jimin sighed and gently pulled out. Tossing his condom in the trash, he showed you to the bathroom and let you do what you needed to do. When you returned, Jimin was on top of his bed. He’d put back on his boxers and held out his sweatshirt.
“I thought you might want this,” he said, uncertain.
Smiling, you took it and lowered it over your head. Climbing beside him on the bed, you rested your head on his shoulder and cuddled beside him. Listening to his breathing, you concentrated until yours started to match.
Outside, cheers erupted from the street. Scrambling upwards, you fought to look out Jimin’s side window. As you hurried to see what the commotion was about, Jimin groaned when you flashed him your bare ass, but followed suit.
Glancing outside, you realized it must have turned midnight. Fireworks went off over the skyline, people cheered below, and someone had lit a sparkler on the street. Voices drifted higher, wishing each other a happy new year as slowly, you turned around to face Jimin.
He smiled at you, his happiness clear when he pulled you to him. A dizzying rush of what-if’s and excitement went through you and somehow, you knew this would be only the beginning.
“Happy new year,” he murmured.
“Happy new year,” you whispered, tilting your face up to his.
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Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading this series 😊 It’s been a whirlwind, so thank you for sticking with our main characters throughout the journey! I hope you enjoyed and are having a wonderful holiday season :) happy (almost) new year!
RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST 
© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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Text
Savior
Chapter 2: Finding Strength
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(This is NOT my gif. Credit to the creator <3)
series summary: when your protector returns, he finds you broken and abused and helps you climb out of the darkness
chapter summary: you finally have had enough and you find the strength to escape
pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
warning: mentions of death, acts.mentions of abuse, mentions of self harm
word count: 2.1k
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Quitting the job you love was really hard. After your brother died you got back together with Kade after a short break in the relationship, you moved in with him. You didn’t have the best relationship with your parents, and it only got worse when Danny, your brother, died while overseas.
You walked into the apartment, your head bowed trying to hide the tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. He’s already home, you saw his car in his usual spot in the parking garage when you pulled in. You could also make out the sound of the tv playing in the living room.
You headed towards the bedroom until he called your name, making you turn and slowly make your way into the living room.
“Did you do it?”
There are empty beer bottles everywhere along with a half empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table. You sighed but nodded nonetheless, playing with the hem of your blouse.
“Good. Start cleaning. This place is a mess.”
And you did what he said, all day. He made you scrub the floor down with a scrubbing brush. You had to clean every inch of the apartment, while picking up the trash he left behind him all day. When night came, you had officially cleaned everything and cooked him dinner. You sat down at the table, ready to eat after not having breakfast or lunch all day.
“What are you doing? You think you deserve to eat? No. You're going to sit there and think about what you did.”
With sad eyes and an ache in your stomach, you didn’t fuss. You didn’t even say a word. You didn’t want him to see you cry so you held it in as much as you could. You hold back sobs, it creates a burning feeling in your chest and throat.
After you got home yesterday, Kade had been enraged. Accused you of cheating, he didn’t even mention you telling Jay about the abuse. It was worse because it was Jay. He knew your background, and how you fell in love with him when you were younger. Last night's memories were fuzzy after that. All you can remember was the agonizing pain and the god awful headache you had after he slammed your head against the kitchen counter. Kade has made you quit your job, you weren’t sure why.
Kade wipes his mouth with a cloth once he’s finished eating. “I try to be nice to you. But you test me. Every single day, you test me.” He stands from his seat at the table, coming closer and closer to you. You look up at him pleading with your eyes.
“Worthless. Pathetic. Get up.”
You do as you're told and stand up. He roughly grabs your arms, dragging you down the hall. You think he’s heading towards the bedroom but he stops at the hallway bathroom. He opens it and tosses me inside.
“This is your new room now. You should get comfortable,” he snarls. You're on the ground now, groaning. He takes the chance and shoves his foot into your chest.
When will it stop! When is enough, enough for him? Why am I not good enough? What did I do that made him so violent?
These things run through your head as he continues his abuse. Pain and suffering, blood and tears are things you have gotten used to.
It’s an hour later when he stops, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he stares down at you in disgust. You look at him weakly and in pain. You're almost positive you need medical attention, but you say nothing.
“Cheating whore,” he spits. With one final look, he’s gone. The sound of the kick in the bathroom door clicking, only making more tears pool in your eyes.
What has my life come to? When did it get this bad? How did I let it get this bad?
The bathroom floor was ice cold, even with a towel laid underneath you, you were still freezing. You know he bumped the temperature down, torturing you even when he wasn’t at home. You twirled the card between your fingers. His name sticking out along with his number.
Deceive Hay Halstead.
You remember fourteen year old you, rushing into your brothers room where he and Jay were playing video games. You remember how excited you were when you told the both of them you got the lead role in your dance group.
“I’m so proud of you,” Jay had exclaimed.
You wondered if he would be proud of you now.
Would he?
There’s so much history between you and Jay, a lot of things your brother never knew about, and now he never will.
It’s been days since you saw him. You can still see his smile and his perfect white teeth as he spoke to you. You can still feel his body against yours from that day he had you against the wall.
You should’ve told him. You're filled with regret. He could’ve helped you get out.
I wouldn’t be in this stupid bathroom if I had agreed to let him help me.
You could’ve called him the day he made you quit your job. You could’ve driven off, anywhere. Somewhere, where Kade couldn’t find you.
Yet, here you are. You have a few - a lot - new bruises that have replaced the old ones. There’s still a harsh pain in your chest and your stomach from not having eaten in days. You know it’s been at least a week.
He comes and goes. Sometimes you can hear giggles pass down the hallway to your shared bedroom. Then…you can hear him pleasing other women in your bed. The ones he would love you on, on good days.
But no…he is with other women while the woman he should be with is withering away down the hall.
You didn’t scream, you should’ve. You know that now. You were scared he would kill you or those girls. You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if something happened to them because of you and your stupidity.
So you sucked it up.
It’s been two weeks. Yesterday had to be one of the worst days. You recall the rage burning like fire in his eyes. He was angry, more than usual. Something must’ve happened. Either way, there’s no excuse for what he did.
The cuts along your back sting like hell. You begged him to stop, and it was a mistake. You should’ve let him beat you till it was out of his system for the night. If it’s even possible, he got angrier. He threw you into the bathroom counter, your back crashing into the mirror, causing it to shatter agains you. Your thigh had hit the faucet, creating a huge bruise on the back of it, but nothing hurt worse than the pain in your heart.
“Pathetic slut,” he snapped before walking out, locking the door behind him.
You sit on the floor only a day later, staring at yourself through the glossy flooring. A large shard of glass sat next to you, your eyes wander to it ever so often. It tempts you. Taunts you like a clear voice in your head.
“Do it.” It would say.
Then you would hear the sound of his voice. Familiar, warm, and inviting. Your heart aches. You miss him.
You can see him at the elevator, waiting for it to open while he looks at you.
“You’re strong. Remember that.”
You wonder why you pushed him away. Why you don’t let yourself trust the one man, that still lives, that would never hurt you.
A sob racks through your body as you pick up the large piece of the mirror and throw it across the room. An aggravated scream leaves you as you stand up with trembling legs.
How could I let this happen? Why didn’t I ask for help? The abuse has gone on for three years.
Your throughts were only “why” and “what if’s.”
He’s taken everything from you. Ripped you from your friends, your old life. You didn’t even notice at the time. You just needed someone. You followed him blindly. He told you you only needed him. Nothing - no one else.
I lost myself trying to please him.
You decided you're done letting him win. You're done letting him control your life. Your choices were dying here in this bathroom helplessly, or die trying to get out. You chose the latter.
You searched around the room in a haste, looking for anything to break the doorknob off. Your eyes trained on the top of the toilet. You take it off, arms falling at the weight. You are weak from the two weeks with no food, but you still find it in yourself to raise it over your head and lm it down in the knob.
You weren’t sure the exact time, but Kade would be home soon. So you knew you had to hurry
One hit didn’t seem to do it, so you raise it again and with a grunt, you use all your strength to slam it back down again. Your mouth falls open in surprise when the knob falls to the floor with a loud clanking noise.
It took you a moment, but you dropped the lid and rushed out of the bathroom. You made your way to the home phone, picking it up with shaky hands.
You're hit with a wave of dizziness, but you still dial the number you now know by heart. You were filled with hope when he answered after a couple of rings.
“Halstead.”
“JJ?”
There was a silence on the other end of the phone for a second, but soon he repeats your name.
“I want out. P-Please help me,” you beg, tears streaming down your face as you pathetically spike.
“Address. I need an address.”
The sound of the front door unlocking catches your attention. Your body goes ridged, frozen in place.
Jay repeats your name a couple of times.
“No. No,” you mutter as you begin to back away.
“Hey! What’s going on? I need an address, sweetheart.”
You somehow manage to tell him the address with a, “please hurry,” at the end. You hang up, throwing the phone to the side. You're filled with dread as Kade stumbles into the room, pulling at his tie. You're starting to regret what you just did.
Kade narrows his eyes, ripping his tie from his neck.
“How the hell did you get out?”
He stalks towards you, and although your first instinct is to run, you stay put. You're done taking the abuse.
“I’m done, Kade. We’re done.” You stand your ground, head held high and a new found confidence in your words. He laughs. It’s evil and sickening.
“We’re done? I say when we’re done!” He exclaims, his hand rising and connecting with your face before you had the chance to move. You fall to the floor from the power of the slap. Although you act confident and strong, you're weak. Two weeks without food would be the cause. It didn’t help that you were still in pain from the most recent beating.
You let out a cry as he pulls your hair back with a huff. “When will you learn?” He asked, pulling your head back so you were facing him.
“You look pathetic,” he laughs. You're slapped in the face once more before being dragged towards the kitchen by your throat. You grabbed at him, your instincts kicking in.
“God, your stupid,” he spat, shoving you into the table. Your eyes widen as you feel your skirt, the same one you’ve worn for two weeks now, being pulled around your hips. You felt hopeless now. You only hoped Jay would be here soon.
“At least you're good for something.” You heard him mutter before the sound of his zipper being undone filled your ears. You clamped your legs together and attempted to move, but it was no use. He overpowered you easily. You cried softly as he moved closer and held you down with a deadly grip on your bruised and cut back.
There’s a knock on the door that paused Kade’s actions. He hissed and pulled away, fixing himself.
“Who the hell did you call? Did you call someone?”
The look of fury in his eyes was enough to have you cowering in fear. A scream rips from your throat as he grabs you by your hair again.
“CPD! Open up!” You heard his familiar voice. The same voice you heard as you laid on the bathroom floor.
Kade’s grip on you tightens. “I’m going to kill you, you little bitch.”
~
A/N: Small cliffhanger? Yep. Chapter 3 should be out Tusedsy! If you want added to the Saviors taglist let me know!
@miranada0102 @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @kelelas-life
(Not sure why some of these didn’t work.)
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hubbie22 · 3 years
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Here is an ask well half an ask from the lovely @meddowscrl please don’t hate me 🥺 I just can’t do happy endings. I tried, I just couldn’t. I can only do angst. I like to suffer ~nervous laughter intensified~ Also, please excuse the writing, I have a respiratory infection and am heavily medicated.
You were happy, weren’t you?
“I want a divorce.”
You stare at him, you had only asked if he wanted to change the drapes. And the answer, turned your world upside down. He had been your boyfriend since 1968, your husband since 1972 and yet with one sentence he was now nothing.
“The drapes, I just wanted to change the drapes.” You mutter out like a hapless child.
“We haven’t been good for months.” He looks at you, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses.
“We haven’t?” Since when haven’t you two been good? Since when haven’t you two shared one brain cell? That was news to you.
Roger stands firms, flicking his long hair back. “No, Y/N.” He sighs, “We haven’t been us for months.”
“Is there someone else?” You look at him, searching for something. “You promised me. You promised me.” The words come out like a chant or mantra, what you held onto when he was on the road. A promise from another lifetime ago.
He sighs, as if he wants to tell you the truth. But he looks at you, and he sees the brokenness he caused. And he can’t bare to make it worse. So, he lies.
“No.”
You walk past him, and he grabs your hand and you think for a moment he will tell you he change his mind. But he hasn’t, and you tear yourself away from him trudging up the staircase.
“Y/N, this has been a long time coming. I’m not happy…. I’m not happy with you anymore.”
“A long time coming for who?” You can’t even look at him while you are packing your things. Most of which, he bought you. So, you only bring what you can into this relationship with yourself. “For you? Because I was happy.” There are tears streaming down your face, like a waterfall, “And I thought we were happy, it’s news to me that we aren’t. And that’s we haven’t been for sometime. Or maybe that you haven’t been.”
You sit across from him in a London high-rise, a wood table between you two and armed with a divorce lawyer. It happened fast, or maybe you were out of it the last few months.
You looked over at Roger, his hair was shorter the last time you saw him.
He stopped by your new apartment to drop off things you left, you could remember his shocked face when you open the door. You heard rustling outside and curiously you opened the door to see Roger crouched down, putting a box by your door. Blue eyes meet yours, and it was like time hadn’t passed. And maybe that’s why you treated it that way, maybe that’s why you went with the old routine. And you wonder if it was the gleam in his eyes, that let you believe that there was something to hold onto; that hope remained.
“Just some bits and bobs of yours.” Roger said, fumbling his keys in his hand.
“Thanks, Rog.” You can’t move from the door frame, the gaze y’all shared unbroken. Years of memories dancing between tha gaze. The squeal of the kettle you put on earlier makes the both of you jump.
“Cuppa? I still have your favorite biscuits.” You couldn’t stop yourself from buying them. It was just normal. And sometimes normal in this new word you didn’t know, was what you needed to sleep at night.
“Really?!” His blue eyes light up, and you motion for him to come in. Staying for tea was a dangerous thing, an old and easy routine. It was weird being so comfortable with someone, who was leaving you behind. Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Maybe it was because of the easiness of it all, that you left yourself fall back into the comfort of it all. As of you two were old friends, not two lovers frayed at the seams. Because of that easiness, you let yourself entertain a thought that maybe you could save your marriage. Put back the broken pieces into something recognizable, but it wasn’t enough. The yearning, the reminiscing of old times through the stuff he brought to you somehow turned into fumbled kisses and clothes thrown around haphazardly. It was something you thought would change the course of where your life was going. Instead of reconciling, it turned into Roger sneaking out when he thought you were asleep. It turned into your lawyer, letting you know Roger wanted you to have more than you asked for. It turned into more resentment and hurt from you, how he could use you and then leave you. How could he so easily but all those years together aside? It turned into something that shouldn’t have happened. And it turned into something that would stay with you forever. A funny word forever, because forever never is forever.
“Sign this, and your divorced will be finalized. All assets obtained during the marriage have been split, due to Mr. Taylor’s wishes.” Your lawyer says looking at you, sliding the papers across, while Roger’s lawyer speaks, “You will be comfortable, and well off Y/N. My client has been more than generous. In fact, I’ve never seen a settlement this amicable from the side of the main breadwinner .”
You sign the papers without any words, you don’t even look at Roger. You realize as you sign on the dotted line, this will be the last time you will use the surname you used for years. Funny how something you thought would never change, would be stagnant in your life just fades away. You then pass the papers across the table back to Roger’s lawyer, you watch as the lawyer slides the papers over to Roger for his signature.
And when Roger takes the paper, you stop breathing you wonder if his mind will change at the eleventh hour. But, he signs it without any hesitation. It’s a fluent and flawless movement, very unlike Roger- really. Part of you breaks at that, it was like he didn’t care he was closing the door on years of his life. Closing the door on you.
You stand up, smoothing out your wide legged pant suit. After the divorce, you had dipped your toes back into the world of working for a living. Putting that masters degree in business to use, and now it was time to separate yourself from the last of the rock n roll lifestyle you loved. And you turn to walk away, high heels on the marble floor when someone grabs your wrist turning you around.
“Take care of yourself, Y/N.” Roger looks at you with concern in his blue eyes. And you wonder if it’s for the friend he was losing, and not the marriage he let go of so easily.
You look at him, “I will. Don’t forget to wear your glasses, we both know you are blind. Don’t forget to call your mum once in while, she misses you. And try not to get so angry at the boys, they mean well.”
“Even after everything I’ve done, you don’t hate me.” You spot something in his eyes, you can’t put a name too. An emotion that seems out of place, it was almost looked like guilt and forlorn.
“I told you a long time ago, I could never hate you. No matter how much, I may want too. I just can’t.”
“You are too good, Y/N. I’ve forgot to remind myself of that. Maybe that’s why…” he drifts off, “Even those daft band mates of mine agreed. Never let me forget it. But, Im sure they are out to drive me mad!” He says with a small smirk.
“With the drum sets you destroy, I doubt the plan to make you mad.” You make a small sound, something between a strangled “hmph” and snort in retort.
“Same old, Y/N.”
“By the way, I have something to-”
“Roggiee!” A voice like a bell cuts through the hushed words you tell him.
You both turn to see a girl, or really a woman bounding toward y’all. And you look toward Roger, and you see the look in his eyes. A look that used to be reserved for you. And it clicked, the guilty look etched in his eyes, not even moments ago. The guilty look he wore that night. The whole reason your world was being upended and ruined. It was for her.
The bitterness filled you up, the way he could so easily toss you aside. The look you threw at Roger was one of pure resentment and unbridled rage.
“You lied.” Your hushed words, that come out through clinched teeth drip with a malice.
He looks at you with wide eyes, as if he was trying to shelter you from the truth. And you see that damned look again. “Y/N, please. I just couldn’t tell you.”
But before you can answer, she comes up with a smile on her pink lips and a twinkle in her dark brown eyes. “You must be, Roggie’s lawyer! I’m Gwen.” She smiles at you. And her smile is sickly sweet, and almost innocent.
It makes you want to scream, to throw something, to do something other than what you are doing.
“I’m Y/N, actually.” You extend your hand to her. Her eyes go wide, and she looks at Roger, who goes to her side immediately.
“Y/N, please listen.” He hold onto her side, and the whiteness of his knuckles against the material of her dark dress don’t go unnoticed by you. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with her.”
Gwen chimes in, “We honestly tried to stay away from each other, we just couldn’t. We were drawn to each other.”
If you weren’t so bitter, hurt, and angry perhaps the romantic side of you would find that notion tragic. You had read about it in books, and always rooted for the star-crossed lovers. But, now you were the collateral damage, you were the woman scorned.
“When we decided that what we had was something, I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you that I was in love with someone else, when you were there from the start. I just didn’t want you to find out after I got back from tour-”
“He couldn’t see you broken like that.” Gwen finishes for him.
You can’t even begin to comprehend the information given, you were gobsmacked. You were completely barred raw, for everyone is this godforsaken lobby to see. And because of that, you selfishly did not want to see how genuinely happy he looked with someone else. Someone who wasn’t you. So, you used the words you knew would cut him to the bone. “So, you thought it was better to make me believe it was my fault you weren’t happy. That I was ignorantly living in one sided marital bliss, while you were falling in love with someone else? While you were planning to leave, I was planning for a life with you?” Your eyes are blazing, your face hot with rage, “You thought it was better to make me believe I was the problem? I can’t believe you! After everything I did for you? After putting my life on hold for you?! This is how you repay me? I deserved the truth, but you, the both of you took that from me.”
“I just-” He sighs, “I just wanted to be happy again, and when I’m with Gwen I’m happy. And I was going to tell you, I was going to tell you that day with the drapes. But, you then you uttered that damn promise. And what was I supposed to do? How could I break my best friend? I’ve always been the asshole to everyone, but you.”
“I love you.”
You look at Roger, his long blonde hair disheveled with bright blue eyes. “I love you too, you are my friend. My very best friend.” You bump your shoulder against his, and let out a giggle.
“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”
You stare at him wide eyed, “Oh.”
“I have been for sometime.”
“Rog, I love you too. But, that doesn’t mean I want to date you. I know how you are, you will grow bored of me and find someone else. And love is sweet, but it’s not your nature. I don’t think I have it in me to me hate you, or to lose you. Please don’t make me lose my best friend.”
“You don’t get it, Y/N.” He looks at you like you hung the moon, and you like it. You crave that look. “I don’t want anyone else, it’s you. And I think it’s always been, and always will be you.”
“You promise? You promise it’s only me forever?” You bite your lip and stick out your pinky finger, like you had done so many times growing up.
“I cross my heart and hope to die.” He says as he raises your intertwined pinkies up to kiss it.
“And in that moment, I was back in Truro laughing with a curly haired little girl, and then I was in uni with that same girl, who was my best friend, I saw that girl. And, I couldn’t do that to her.”
You look at him, your face cold as stone. “I’m still that girl, I haven’t changed. You have. And that’s okay, it’s okay the change that’s life.”
That is how it ends, with a look of heartbreak on your face as the elevator doors close on the sight before you. And when the doors open, and you are greeted by the sight of the lobby. You realize, you didn’t even tell him what you wanted too.
Would it change anything?
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