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#also my google notes told me i had 28 errors in this
audif1 · 1 year
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FORMULA 1 WORLD TOUR TEE SHIRTS
i've seen a lot in the notes of my post about "would buy as a shirt" so i thought fuck it let me make it a shirt - details below the break
here is the google form with the info to fill out
so i want to make the cost of this as transparent as possible as i’m not trying to make money off of this - i just want to have the shirt lmao
i’ve found the shirt i want to use (from a place in LA that is trying to be eco conscious with their process - you can check them out) and the printing place that i’d like to use
the cost of the blank shirt itself if i get more than 7 people buying it would be $28. i need a general count of who is absolutely willing to buy a shirt so i can get a quote from the printing place. i need AT LEAST 25 ORDERS to use this specific printing place. it’s 3 colors, and i will probably pick plastisol as the ink.
i want to ship world wide if possible, so i’m assuming about $6 for shipping cost
all told, the cost of the shirt would end up somewhere around $40 - $50 i think. i would rather pay people who live and work in my city than make a shitty shirt from an online store i'm sorry thats why this is spensy
what i want to do for the next two weeks is essentially get a count of orders so i can buy the correct number of shirts. once the two weeks is up, i will ask for a quote for the number of people who have responded and share the total price of the shirt.
after the total price has been shared, I will then ask for payment since i have to pay up front for the costs of the shirts and the printing. then i will place the order for the shirts which would take about 4 days, then i would go ahead with the screen printing which would take about 2 weeks. i think they would ship not in time for the first race but probably the second.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THERE ARE SPELLING ERRORS OR IF ANYTHING LOOKS DUMB PLEASE. I HAD TO FIX SOME FROM MY EARLIER POSTER BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE ACCURATE !!!!
also i know it's not as grungy as the original but you can beat it with rocks to give it that ~lived in~ feel
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syzekrom · 2 years
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Kirby Translation Docs Masterpost
I was told on Discord I should really compile these somewhere. I may post these directly to Tumblr or WordPress or something eventually, but for now here is a masterpost of links to Google Docs.
These are various documents I've made translation sections of content from the Kirby series.
Please note that I do not consider myself fluent in Japanese, or even a Japanese speaker/able to read/write in Japanese in the first place. At best, consider these a step above some cleaned up machine translations.
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(09/07/2023) Triple Deluxe Miiverse Behind the Scenes Developer Posts, as well as for Drum Dash Deluxe and Fighters Deluxe.
(07/15/2023) All boss pause descriptions and dialogue from Kirby: Triple Deluxe, redone.
(03/11/2023) Return to Dream Land boss pause descriptions, for both Deluxe and Wii
(05/08/2022) Team Kirby Clash Deluxe August 2017 Issue Nintendo Dream Interview with Kumazaki, including info on King D-Mind and the Parallel bosses. Also talks about Planet Robobot and making games as a student.
(04/02/2022) Kirby and the Forgotten Land masterpost.
Master post for Kirby Star Allies: The Original Artbook translations:
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Older Translations
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(08/24/2021 Though apparently I never shared it after I made it until now whoops) Descriptions mentioning Galactic Nova. If anyone can find a scan of the Japanese Super Star Ultra manual's description of Milky Way Wishes, please send me a message or tweet at me @dsgiratina.
(06/07/2021) All Kirby Fighters 2 text.
(06/04/2021) All boss pause descriptions and dialogue from Kirby: Planet Robobot. Note that Kai-alone released his own version of this which I'd recommend trusting over mine, but feel free to use this as a second opinion. Please check that out here.
12/28/2021 Edit: Included the Pres. Haltmann 2.0 description which I forgot, and fixed an error in Galacta Knight's description due to accidentally deleting a character in the Japanese text.
(01/01/2021) All text relating to Another Dimension across all Kirby games. Please note that this is the oldest document, so if these descriptions appear in my later ones above, please check those instead since I might forget (or just out of laziness) to update this doc with better made translations.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ETFQB_joXKdPfALyVtGy3xDFZu_Wbm6lohlwN9fETVI/edit#heading=h.4rtrqzvic6gr
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5mincolumns · 3 years
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5min books review #4
John Doerr: Measure What Matters: How Google, Bono, and the Gates Foundation Rock the World with OKRs
Value for money
6/10
Year, Price, Pages, Cover design
2018 by Portfolio/Penguin; Euro 24,20; 246 pages (306 pages with dedication, resources, notes and index), Hardcover
Jacket design by Karl Spurzem, Book design by Amy Hill. Very nice jacket and book design. Good paper quality and reading experience (However, I would expect a better quality of paper, compared to the amazing jacket).
5 sentences about the book
The book consists of two parts. First part describes OKRs and values such: focus, alignment, tracking and stretching — that accelerate OKRs. The second part pointed out the importance of culture in modern companies and CFRs (Conversation, Feedback, Recognition) which, together with OKRs, create new continuous performance management and reinforces HR.
From a narrative point of view, this book also consists of two parts. Theoretical writing is beautifully completed by stories with examples from real life, written by protagonists like Bill Gates (Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation), Sundar Pichai (Chrome), Susan Wojcicki (YouTube) and many others. I especially enjoyed Doerr’s story about the beginning of the OKRs at Intel and his mentor Andy Grove. The book begins with another fantastic story about the early days at Google, where Doerr rotated among the first investors.
In the end, OKRs have roots in 20th-century mentality. Intel’s story Operation Crush is scary reading about the company that beat its competition not by innovation but by marketing (creating a new narrative). It makes more sense now to understand the behaviour of big tech companies in the 21st century that adapted OKRs (more below).
What did I learn?
I have finally understood what OKRs are and what are the powers that drive them (focus, alignment, tracking and stretching). I’ve learned to define the objective and key results and think about them in the context of my work/my life.
Except for basic rules, there are at least these reminders I have to keep in mind: 1. KRs must describe outcomes, not activities (257); 2. We must not forget to ask “What’s in this for me” when we want to make OKRs real for individuals; 3. Define a few OKRs that promise a real value, make it stretch but realistic; 4. OKRs are not written in stone — reformulate or delete them if they are not helping anymore.
I found a connection between OKRs and CFRs super useful, it could be especially handy for line managers. I’ve made many notes and I intend to put them into practice.
Google’s OKR Playbook (255) — internal Google’s document for employees describing how to set, track and read/interpret OKRs.
I understood the root cause of unethical behaviour of the big tech companies towards their users and society (more below).
What was missing?
TL, DR: What kind of products can be created in an organization driven by OKRs and CFR without asking about ethical issues? Doerr didn’t address the ethical risk (Should we build it at all?) in OKRs conception that has a direct impact on companies’ culture of big tech organizations. Yes, big tech delivered a lot of obvious values for end users but at the same time, they aggressively dominated the market so competition became impossible (and end-users lost more than they gained). Even worse, big techs are not able to steer their platforms anymore, and their products are becoming a weapon in the fight to weaken democracy in the western world.
Working at Google was considered a dream job twenty years ago. Now, working in the 21st century big tech is like working in the 20-century tobacco company. In other words, I cannot imagine how someone can be proud to be a Google/Facebook/Amazon/Apple employee anymore. Today big techs are considered as predators: these companies don’t just run services — they own the internet’s utilities; they use that commanding position unfairly and at the expense of others.
The next thing is the social dimension. These companies do not take enough responsibility for their platforms and their impact on society: “The result is less innovation, fewer choices for consumers, and a weakened democracy.” (Guardian)
If the author is not willing to speak about this topic because it is not in the context of his book, then, the best he could do was not to open culture topic while talking about Google.
OKRs do not address ethical risk: “Just because we have the technology to build something, and even if it otherwise works to accomplish the specific business objective, this does not necessary mean that we should build it. More commonly, the issue is that our technology and design skills are such that we might come up with a solution that meets our business objectives (for example, around engagement, growth, or monetization) but can end up with a side effect of cousin harm to users or the environment.” (Marty Cagan, Inspired, 2018, 169)
How is it possible that the author talks about OKRs and forget about the ethical side of reality? Susan Wojcicki (Google, YouTube) writes: “Judging from our experience at Google, I’d say that OKRs are especially useful for young companies just starting to build their culture” It is evident that ethical aspect that is missing in OKRs conception could also have an impact on culture. This could be a reason why in Google and the rest of the big tech companies they are blind ethic wise while doing the business.
Favourite quotes:
“An OBJECTIVE, I explained, is simply WHAT is to be achieved, no more and no less. By definition, objectives are significant, concrete, action-oriented, and (ideally) inspirational. When properly designed and deployed, they’re vaccine against fuzzy thinking — and fuzzy execution. KEY RESULTS benchmark and monitor HOW we get to the objective. Effective KRs are specific and time-bound, aggressive yet realistic. Most of all, they are measurable and verifiable. You either meet a key result’s requirements or you don’t; there is no grey area, no room for doubt.” 7
“OKRs surface your primary goals. They channel efforts and coordination. They link diverse operations, lending purpose and unity to the entire organization” 8
“OKRs are Swiss Army knives, suited to any environment” 12
“At medium-size, rapidly scaling organizations, OKRs are a shared language for execution. They clarify expectations: What do we need to get done (and fast), and who’s working on it? They keep employees aligned, vertically and horizontally.“ 12
“OKRs were constant reminders of what our teams needed to be doing. They told us precisely what we were achieving — or not.” 28
(About Andy Grove) “He had an amazing ability to reach into your chest and grab your heart, pull it out, and hold it in his hands in front of you” 32
“Measuring what matter begins with the question: What is most important for the next three (or six, or twelve) months? (…) What are our main priorities for the coming period? Where should people concentrate their efforts?” 47
“Leaders must get across the why as well as the what. Their people need more than milestones for motivation. They are thirsting for meaning, to understand how their goals relate to the mission.” 50
“Meritocracy flourishes in sunlight. When people write down ‘This is what I am working in’, it’s easier to see where the best ideas are coming from” 78
“One underrated virtue of OKRs is that they can be tracked — and then revised or adapted as circumstances dictate” 113
“Aspirational goals draw on every OKR superpower. Focus and commitment are a must for targeting goals a real difference. Only a transparent, collaborative, aligned, and connected organization can achieve so far beyond the norm, And without quantifiable tracking, how you know when you’ve reached that amazing stretch objective.” 135
“If Andy Grove is the patron saint of aspirational OKRs, Larry Page is their latter-day high priest.” 138
“Stretch goals are invigorating. By committing to radical, qualitative improvement, and establish organization can renew its sense of urgency and reap tremendous dividends” (Susan Wojcicki, 156)
“But goals cannot be attained in a vacuum. Like sound waves, they require a medium. For OKRs and CFRs, the medium is an organization’s culture, the living expression of its most cherished values and beliefs.” 212
“In the high-stakes arena of culture change, OKRs lend us purpose and clarity as we plunge into new. CFRs supply the energy we need for the journey” 216
“As OKRs build goal muscle, CFRs make those sinews more flexible and responsive. Pulsing gauges the organization’s real-time health — body and soul, work and culture.” 217
Notes:
(Dr. Grove’s Basic OKR Hygiene)
Less is more. A few extremely well-chosen objectives.
Set goals from the bottom up. To promote engagement, teams and individuals should be encouraged to create roughly half of their own OKR’s, in consultation with managers.
No dictating. OKRs are a cooperative social contract to establish priorities and define how progress will be measured.
Stay flexible. KRs can be modified or even discarded mid-cycle.
Dare to fail. Stretched goals.
A tool, not a weapon. OKR’s and bonuses are best kept separate.
Be patient; be resolute. Every process requires trial and error. 33
Continuous performance management (CFR)
Conversations: an authentic, richly textured exchange between manager and contributor, aimed at driving performance
Feedback: bidirectional or networked communication among peers to evaluate progress and guide future improvement
Recognition: expressions of appreciation to serving individuals or contributions of all sizes 176
“If a conversation is limited to whether you achieved the goal or not, you lose context. You need continuous performance management to surface the critical questions: Was the goal harder to achieve than you’d thought when you set it? Was it the right goal in the first place? It is motivating? Should we double down on the two or three things that really worked for us last quarter or is it time to consider a pivot?” 177
Conversations
Goal setting and reflection. The discussion focuses on how best to align individual objectives and key results with organizational priorities.
Ongoing progress update. The brief and data-driven check-ins on the employee’s real-tine progress, with problem-solving as needed.
Two-way coaching. To help contributors reach their potential and managers do a better job.
Career growth. Identify growth opportunities.
Lightweight performance reviews. Employee’s accomplishments since the last meeting. 183
Feedback
“Public, transparent OKRs will trigger good questions from all directions: Are these the right things for me/you/us to be focused on? If I/you/we complete them, will it be seen as a huge success? Do you have any feedback on how I/we should stretch even more?” 185
“In more mature organizations, feedback is ad hoc, real-time, and multidirectional, an open dialogue between people anywhere in the organization” 185
Recognition
“Modern recognition is performance-based and horizontal. It crowdsources meritocracy.” 186
Institute peer-to-peer recognition
Establish clear criteria. Replace “Employee of the Month” with Achievement of the Month”
Share recognition stories
Make recognition frequent and attainable
Tie recognition to company goals and strategies 186–187
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We did it!! We raised $18,002 for charity
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A year and a half ago, I saw a speech that changed my life - and the lives of at least 600 other people in the developing world.
I was at the World Domination Summit in Portland, where I'd later be speaking. I sat in the audience as Scott Harrison took the stage.
Scott is a former nightclub promoter who, at age 28, had a crisis of conscience. His job was encouraging people to get drunk. He smoked two packs a day. He gambled. He felt like he wasn't adding anything to the world. And he wasn't sure if, or how, he could.
“One day, I woke up and I realized I was the worst person I knew,” he wrote in an article on Medium.
He quit his job, sold most of his possessions, and spent the next two years as a photojournalist on a hospital ship off the coast of Liberia in west Africa. He saw diseases that were unlike anything he'd imagined.
As WIRED describes: “Some of the patients were grotesquely deformed by grapefruit-sized tumors, while others were nearly blind from cataracts that turned their eyes opaque.” (Here are images.)
He felt surprised - and then sad, then angry, then determined - when he realized that thousands of people die from preventable diseases, like cholera and dysentery, that are spread by drinking dirty water. More than 660 million people in the world don't have access to clean drinking water, which is almost 1 out of every 10 people. That's twice the population of the U.S.
That's unacceptable.
Scott decided to spend his life bringing safe water to the villages and communities that need it most. He came back to the U.S., threw a party at a nightclub, and raised the initial seed capital for charity:water. More than a decade later, he stood on the stage in Portland, sharing photos of the people whose lives he's changed.
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I've seen many nonprofit leaders deliver speeches. But there was something about Scott's mission that struck me. Maybe it's because nearly everyone at that conference in Portland seemed to be carrying a BPA-free water bottle. Maybe it was the experience of walking past the hallway drinking fountains without a second glance. But for some reason, in that moment, I thought: “I have a platform. I could use it to save lives.”
Cue the eyeroll. I get it. I get it. “Saving lives” is a lofty goal, and its achievement is hard to pinpoint. That's the thing about prevention; you never know whom you may have spared.
A decade ago, when I worked at a newspaper, we'd write articles about community nonprofits on slow news days. The staff would refer to these as “angel-sheds-a-tear” stories.
Don't get me wrong; we supported these efforts. But the stories seemed so cliche, so repetitive, that a part of me wondered: “Are we actually doing anything, or are we just making ourselves feel better?”
The gulf between cynicism and hope is bridged by effectiveness, and Scott built an organization that's indisputably effective. Their mission is critical. What's more basic, more fundamental to survival, than drinking water? Their results are tangible, specific, and easy to verify.
They've funded more than 28,000 water projects, like digging wells, creating rainwater catchment systems, and distributing biosand filters. Their projects can be tracked on Google Maps.
They've also opened two separate bank accounts. They use one account for their administrative overhead. This account gets funded by a small group of donors. They use 100 percent of their other account for water projects. This account is funded by public donations. This means every dime they raise from the public goes directly to water projects. Their accounts are audited. They can prove it.
I interviewed Scott on my podcast last year, and I told my audience that I had a lofty goal: I wanted to raise at least $12,000 in the year 2018 for charity:water.
If we raised that amount, Afford Anything could sponsor a water project. We would fund a specific project, tangible and GPS-identifiable. It would exist because of this community.
I started 2018 with huge enthusiasm for this goal. My Chief Sanity Officer Erin and I designed three shirts and sold them on Amazon, and we donated 100 percent of profits ($5.38 per shirt) to charity:water. I also set up a page on the charity:water website where people could make direct donations.
Then I waited. And watched. And bummed myself out.
By July 2018, we'd raised around $3,000. While that's amazing and helpful and I'm grateful for it … it also felt like a blow. We were halfway through the year, but only one-fourth of the way to our $12,000 goal.
There was no way we'd be able to raise $12,000 by the end of the year, I thought. I felt deflated. Disappointed. I knew I should feel grateful for what we have achieved, but I kept feeling like this was a setback. I'd been in contact with Anna, who works on the charity:water team, both last year and this year; we'd spoken on the phone about Afford Anything's sponsorship campaign. I didn't want to have to call Anna at the end of 2018 and say, “Sorry, we failed. We tried to raise enough to sponsor a project, and we failed.”
I spent the late summer and fall making peace with that idea. I told myself that if I could make any difference at all, that's something to celebrate. I told myself that it's better to fall short of lofty goals than to create errors-of-thinking-too-small, as I'm prone to doing. I told myself that it doesn't matter if we sponsor a project or not; what matters is that there's at least one human being who won't suffer from typhoid or cholera or guinea worm disease. This isn't about us, it's about the person on the other side.
I found peace with it. I let it go. I accepted what is.
And then I checked the charity:water fundraising page, and saw this:
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HOLY MOLY WE DID IT!!!!!!!!! We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it, we did it!!!!
We - no pun intended - we blew it out of the water!!!!!
I'd like to express massive, massive gratitude to several people right now, starting with Richard Potter, a podcast listener who generously matched donations up to $4,000. He fueled the fire that made this possible.
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He made the donation that brought us up to the $4,000 mark, and then he announced that he'd match contributions, dollar-for-dollar, up to a $4,000 limit.
When I announced this on my podcast, the floodgates opened (no pun intended yet again). This community responded with enthusiasm unlike anything I've ever seen. Donations skyrocketed from $4,000 to $8,000 nearly overnight. Richard matched these donations, as promised, which brought the total balance to $12,000 and allowed us, the Afford Anything community, to become the official project sponsor of a water project.
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WE DID IT!!!
And can I admit something? I thought it would stop there. Yes, I know; ye of little faith. I thought that once we reached the matching contribution limit, donations would slow to a trickle. (So many puns. I can't help it.)
Thank goodness I was wrong.
You all amaze me so much … the donations keep coming! Here are a few of the many:
Susan, a podcast listener, gave $300 after she watched an interview with Scott. A family in Israel, including their daughters ages 9, 13 and 16, contributed $191. A podcast listener named Clara gave $15 with a note that said, “Only a little bit as I'm a student, but it all helps.” And a listener named Mark donated $250 with a note that said, “I'm so proud of how you handled Suze.”
Massive thanks to Lancy Erdmann, who donated $2,000, J Clark, who donated $1,500, two anonymous donors who gave $1,000 each, Charles Rosenbusch, who gave $500, and the many, many people who gave $100, $50, $25, $20, $15, $10 and $5. I'm also grateful to everyone who bought a t-shirt to support the campaign.
The support keeps coming!!
Wow.
Tonight, as I write this, with 15 days remaining before the end of the year, we've raised more than $18,000 for clean drinking water.
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  Thank you. This is amazing. Afford Anything is you. It's this community. It's this incredible group, gathering together to improve lives and help others and focus on money and purpose and meaning and contribution and life.
We are Afford Anything. And we are creating a legacy.
____
To support this campaign:
Buy a t-shirt on Amazon. 100 percent of the profits will go directly to charity: water.
Make a donation at affordanything.com/water
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Podcast: The Warning Signs of Bipolar and Schizophrenia

In general, people with mental illness aren’t perfectly fine one day and suddenly symptomatic the next. It often feels that way to people with bipolar, depression, and schizophrenia, but many of us in recovery realize that the warning signs were there all along. 
  SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW
“If you think there might be something wrong – that is a red flag.” – Gabe Howard
  Highlights From ‘Warning Bipolar Schizophrenia’’ Episode
[1:00] March 30th is World Bipolar Day!
[2:30] What are some of the warning signs of mental illness?
[5:00] Will supplements and exercise fix everything?
[7:45] Michelle’s huge red flag that she had schizophrenia.
[12:15] The red flags that Gabe has bipolar disorder.
[14:00] Why our hosts didn’t get any help when they were younger.
[18:30] The obvious warning signs of schizophrenia that Michelle’s college roommates noticed.
[22:00] Common symptoms of bipolar and schizophrenia.
[24:00] Everybody goes to therapy.
Computer Generated Transcript for ‘ The Warning Signs of Bipolar and Schizophrenia ‘ Show
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Announcer: [00:00:07] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and A Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.
Gabe: [00:00:09] You’re listening to a bipolar schizophrenic podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I have bipolar.
Michelle: [00:00:24] Hi, I’m Michelle. I’m schizophrenic.
Gabe: [00:00:27] And we’re going to talk about red flags. Basically-
Michelle: [00:00:30] Gabe, you forgot to say what this is.
Gabe: [00:00:32] This is a podcast. I said that.
Michelle: [00:00:34] When? You did?
Gabe: [00:00:35] I did. I said, “It’s A Bipolar, A schizophrenic, and a Podcast.”
Michelle: [00:00:37] I missed that.
Gabe: [00:00:39] But you know what I did forget to say? So I am glad that you brought it up? On March 30th, it is World Bipolar Day.
Michelle: [00:00:47] It is?
Gabe: [00:00:47] It is.
Michelle: [00:00:48] What a happy day. Or sad day. Or, I don’t know.
Gabe: [00:00:53] I kind of look at it as a both day. Like I wake up sad, but I go to bed happier, and kind of vacillate back and forth throughout the day.
Michelle: [00:01:00] Yeah. I know there must be so many people that are happy, or sad, or in the middle, or going up and down about how to feel on such a day.
Gabe: [00:01:07] So, World Bipolar Day. It takes place on Van Gogh’s birthday. And it really is kind of weird to think about, but it’s supposed to be like a celebration, or an acknowledgement of bipolar disorder and the contributions of people who live with bipolar disorder. It’s a day of awareness. It’s a day of acknowledgment. It’s a day of celebration. It can kind of be anything that you want. And it’s really caught on in the last few years.
Michelle: [00:01:28] Do you set off fireworks?
Gabe: [00:01:30] Not intentionally.
Michelle: [00:01:33] [Laughter]
Gabe: [00:01:34] It’s a really cool day, and I don’t know if our listeners are familiar with it. But you can find information on it by googling “world bipolar day.” You can also find more information on IBPF.org. That’s the International Bipolar Foundation. They sort of spearheaded this, but it’s been going on for a number of years. Michelle, is there a world schizophrenia day?
Michelle: [00:01:51] That’s a good question. I don’t really know.
Gabe: [00:01:54] If there’s not, like, I’m getting an idea.
Michelle: [00:01:56] You’re getting an idea?
Gabe: [00:01:57] We should spearhead world schizophrenia day.
Michelle: [00:02:01] OK, let’s do it.
Gabe: [00:02:01] We’re just gonna do it? Just do it?
Michelle: [00:02:03] Just right now.
Gabe: [00:02:03] Just right now?
Michelle: [00:02:04] How about today?
Gabe: [00:02:05] Let’s just cancel the podcast and just start our own holidays. It worked for Hallmark.
Michelle: [00:02:08] Let’s just make like different holidays every day. And then we never have to do anything, because it’s always a holiday.
Gabe: [00:02:15] This is genius.
Michelle: [00:02:17] Yeah. Holiday all day every day.
Gabe: [00:02:19] Holiday all day every day?
Michelle: [00:02:21] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:02:21] Excellent.
Michelle: [00:02:21] Excellent.
Gabe: [00:02:22] It sounds a little bit like our lives, though. If you think about.
Michelle: [00:02:25] A little.
Gabe: [00:02:25] Michelle, when we were going over the idea for the show, you said we should really talk about red flags of mental illness that we saw in ourselves before we were diagnosed. And we came up with really good ones that we’re gonna discuss. But, I think that we should maybe open it up a little later on in the show to talk about warning signs that we have personally seen in others. So, we’ve sort of got, like, the personal experience, the lived experience. But you know, maybe we should cover, like, some just straight up warning signs? Like, for example, if you are running naked down the street screaming that you’re being followed by Osama bin Laden, you might be schizophrenic.
Michelle: [00:03:04] Yeah. I would say there is something really big going on there. Or you could be doing a lot of drugs, honestly. If you’re really yelling that down the street.
Gabe: [00:03:11] It is interesting that you bring up the drug thing. Because we know many people who were diagnosed with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia because they were abusing drugs and alcohol, and when they got clean, they realized that they didn’t have a mental illness at all. But they were having the hallucinatory. . . “Hallucinatory?” Is that a word for real?
Michelle: [00:03:29] Sure, yeah.
Gabe: [00:03:30] Of the drugs. So it is kind of a messed up thing, isn’t it?
Michelle: [00:03:34] Drugs or schizophrenia? Let’s see. I guess so, sure.
Gabe: [00:03:38] And what if you genuinely have schizophrenia, but you are self medicating with drugs?
Michelle: [00:03:43] Well, that sounds like fun.
Gabe: [00:03:45] Does it?
Michelle: [00:03:46] No.
Gabe: [00:03:46] I mean we should probably put a little asterisk there. That Gabe and Michelle are not advocating treating schizophrenia with drugs.
Michelle: [00:03:55] I would not advocate that. I wouldn’t say to treat schizophrenia with drugs. Not a good idea. A guy on Instagram just told me that I should try CBD oils with exercise to help. And I said, “Well, you know, any kind of supplement or anything with exercise is always good. So thanks for the unsolicited advice asshole.”
Gabe: [00:04:15] Well now wait a minute. Come on, we can’t call our fans assholes.
Michelle: [00:04:18] No, I’m not saying he’s an asshole but I just don’t need like advice like oh how to schizophrenia. Have you tried CBD along with exercise? Okay, first of all exercise is always really a healthy thing to do. CBD? Sure, like all the other supplements could be beneficial or could do nothing. So, I don’t need somebody on Instagram telling me what to do to help my schizophrenia.
Gabe: [00:04:43] But isn’t this why social media was created? So that we could stalk other people and tell them they were wrong?
Michelle: [00:04:48] Sure. But listen, if I want your advice on Instagram I’ll ask for it.
Gabe: [00:04:55] I remember my father when I was growing up, he’s like, “If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” That was his motto.
Michelle: [00:05:01] What do you need? Some CBD and an awesome exercise, Gabe?
Gabe: [00:05:04] Maybe I need some CBD oil?
Michelle: [00:05:05] Yeah, just take some CBD and do some exercise, you’ll feel so much better. I heard it on Instagram today.
Gabe: [00:05:11] It is interesting, and I want to talk about something for the younger generation while we’re on this vein. I’m over 40, but I remember the exercise craze of the 90s. The early 90s, and there was all these supplements that came out. All of these pills that you could buy at the gas station, exactly like CBD oil. It’s going to change your life, they’re better, they’re amazing, and if you take the pills exactly like they order you to do so, you will lose weight. That was the big thing, they were weight loss supplements. And I always laughed, because they would say things like, “OK, you have to take four pills a day. Morning, noon, evening, and night. You have to take it each with a gallon of water.” So you’re gonna drink four gallons of water a day.
Michelle: [00:05:52] That’s not healthy.
Gabe: [00:05:53] And yet, maybe it wasn’t a gallon, maybe it was half a gallon, but it was an extreme amount of water. You’re supposed to take it with a lot of water. You were supposed to take the pills in supplement of dinner. So you weren’t supposed to eat dinner at all. And they put on the package that the pills worked best if you took a brisk 15 minute walk after each dosage.
Michelle: [00:06:13] Take a pill. Don’t eat. Drink lots of water, and take a walk.
Gabe: [00:06:17] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:06:17] And you will lose weight.
Gabe: [00:06:18] Yeah, and it’s the pills. It’s the magic pills.
Michelle: [00:06:20] Oh my goodness! That’s… that’s…. God that’s wow. Wow. So, I personally love the pills at the gas station that say that you get a huge boner.
Gabe: [00:06:30] Yeah. Yeah. It does remind me of the boner pills.
Michelle: [00:06:33] Yeah. The boner pills. I love those. OK. Gabe we are like on a tangent right now. What were we talking about?  Red flags.
Gabe: [00:06:38] It is a good tangent, because, I think that there are many people who live with mental illness, that think that they can take a magic pill that they bought at the gas station and they will live well. It’s really odd to me because, you know, “Big Pharma,” pills are bad unless you buy it at the gas station.
Michelle: [00:06:54] Just go take some St. John’s Wort.
Gabe: [00:06:55] Well you know, at least St. John’s Wort has some study behind it to show some efficacy for low grade depression. We, me and you, we do not have low grade anything.
Michelle: [00:07:04] I took St. John’s Wort. It did nothing for me. I’m not against St. John’s Wort. It’s just that personally, it was probably as helpful as CBD and exercise.
Gabe: [00:07:12] To tie this back together into something good, though. It is a red flag if you are constantly looking for sources outside of yourself to feel better.
Michelle: [00:07:20] Yes.
Gabe: [00:07:20] If your depression is so bad that you’re willing to try something that you bought on the Internet, or advice that you got on Instagram, or something at the gas station. If you are desperately looking for a cure, it is a pretty good indication that you’re acknowledging that you’re suffering from something. Because people who are healthy and happy don’t just buy random products and ingest them for no reason.
Michelle: [00:07:41] That’s a very good point.
Gabe: [00:07:42] I’m good at that. I do that.
Michelle: [00:07:43] You do that a lot, Gabe?
Gabe: [00:07:45] Michelle, what were some red flags that people saw in you before you noticed that anything was wrong?
Michelle: [00:07:50] Well, the huge red flag was that I was constantly talking to myself and I didn’t even realize I was talking myself or just laughing at myself. I remember my mother speaking to like high school teachers and/or middle school teachers, and she said your teachers are saying that you’re laughing at them. They’re saying that you’re laughing in class. And I’m like, I’m not laughing in class. I was going into delusions and hilariously laughing at my delusions and just laughing in class. Which had nothing to do with the class or anything I was learning about. I was just often off in like another land laughing hysterically. But I didn’t realize I was doing it, and I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t have memories of myself laughing during class to even try to defend myself. And I would say, I wasn’t laughing during class. But there you go. Right there was a huge red flag. The only time I remember specifically doing that was like, 11th grade physics. I’m sitting in the back of class and I guess I was just laughing so hysterically over and over again and not noticing that a girl who is two seats ahead of me turned around and goes, “Hey, are you OK?” And that’s when I realized. I started to go, “Oh! Oh, sorry. I… I was just laughing at something.” She goes, “What were you laughing at.” I’m like, “Oh, I think I was just thinking of something funny. I don’t know.” And that’s like the first time I noticed that I actually was just completely bursting into laughter at nothing around me. Only what was in my head.
Gabe: [00:09:11] Well, it’s interesting that you brought up that you were laughing at things that were in your head. You weren’t aware of anything that was happening around you, and the teachers and fellow students thought that you were, like, mocking them.
Michelle: [00:09:22] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:09:22] So now you’ve got two problems. You’ve obviously got the delusions, the laughter, and the lack of self-awareness. And you’ve managed to piss off people that you weren’t even aware were in the room.
Michelle: [00:09:33] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:09:33] And this is one of the things that makes it really, really difficult to get treatment. Because nobody thought that you needed treatment, but they did think you needed punishment.
Michelle: [00:09:41] Right. Actually, this just reminds me of college. I would, for example, I had my computer with me, and I would sit in the back of the class on my computer. And in the room it would often be dark, but the computer lights up my face. And I guess I would laugh a lot while I was, you know, also being delusional in class. I would just look at my computer, I would laugh, I would kind of take notes. But one time I went up to the teacher after class, and I said something to him, and he goes, “Oh, by the way, I see you laughing a lot during class. Are you laughing at, like, what you’re looking at on the computer? Or, like, at what I’m saying?” And I go, “Oh, no. No, no, no. I just do that a lot.” So there I was doing it again in college. Just bursting into laughter, being delusional at nothing. My whole life, I’ve been doing it and I still didn’t know I had schizophrenia.
Gabe: [00:10:25] This is interesting because I think that people need to understand that the worst case scenario is that people think you’re a jerk, because you’re laughing at them. But what if the thing that you were doing was yelling and screaming? What if you were like posturing and like a defensive thing? And like raising your fist? You know you’re a tiny little girl, Michelle, you know? But I’m a 300 pound, six foot three, man. Imagine if I was completely unaware that I was in a room, and I would stand up and I would start yelling, “Get off me!” That’s the kind of thing that can get you tackled, hurt, beat up, shot, arrested. Because it’s scary. It’s scary, you know? You’re kind of telling the story like hey, it’s a big red flag, because you were laughing in class. But you know, nobody’s gonna tackle and have you arrested because you’re laughing. Worst case scenario is they’re going to ask you to leave. But, you know, a lot of people in our community, their delusions don’t revolve around things that make them laugh. Their delusions revolve around things that make them defensive, or appear angry, or scary. And I understand why it would be scary if I stood up and started screaming at you. I wouldn’t want you to wonder whether or not I’m having a delusion. I would want you to run. So I’m telling you that if I’m sick, run. But that means you’re not helping me. But you really can’t risk it. I’m one hundred and fifty pounds bigger than you.
Michelle: [00:11:38] One second, we’re going to commercial.
Announcer: [00:11:40]This episode is sponsored by betterhelp.com secure convenient and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to betterhelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. Betterhelp.com/PsychCentral.
Michelle: [00:12:10] And we’re back, talking about red flags. Did you have any huge red flags?
Gabe: [00:12:16] Oh man, I had so many red flags! The biggest one that I’ve talked about on this show before, is that I thought about suicide every day as far back as I can remember. I didn’t think it was odd at all.
Michelle: [00:12:27] Like how far back?
Gabe: [00:12:28] Like when I was 4? 3? I don’t know. I never remember not thinking about it, and I think that kind of blows people’s minds, too. Remember on another episode, that you said that you didn’t tell anybody that you were paranoid? Because, after all, you were paranoid.
Michelle: [00:12:39] Right.
Gabe: [00:12:40] And it’s the way that you always felt, and it felt normal to you. The paranoia seemed very protective, so you weren’t doing anything to try to fix it. You were steering right in to that curve of paranoia.
Michelle: [00:12:50] Right. I believed it. I thought it was right. Therefore, I didn’t tell anybody, because I didn’t want to go against it. Because I didn’t want it to get worse.
Gabe: [00:12:58] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:12:58] If you, like, don’t listen to your paranoia, it’s only going to get worse. Because you’re going to get more paranoid. Right?
Gabe: [00:13:05] And the reason that you believed it is because it was just always with you?
Michelle: [00:13:07] Right.
Gabe: [00:13:07] Right. That’s how suicidal thoughts were to me. They were just always with me, and I just assumed that everybody else was thinking about suicide as well. I’m not saying that I thought that everybody was going to die by suicide, because that would be nuts. I thought that everybody was considering it. Just like I know that everybody can eat pizza. I just do. I just do because, you know, pizza is something that’s readily available. It’s relatively inexpensive. So when I see people not eating pizza, I assume to myself that the reason they’re not eating pizza isn’t because it’s unavailable to them, but it’s because they don’t want it. So when I see people not committing suicide, not dying by suicide,, or not self harming themselves, I just assumed it was because they didn’t want to. Not because they weren’t thinking about it, or not because they were emotionally healthy. I just thought they were making a choice, that was different from mine. But I sure as hell thought they were contemplating it. I did. I thought my parents would go to bed at night and think, “Wonder if we should kill ourselves tonight? No, we’ll stick it out with the kids.” That’s just what I thought.
Michelle: [00:14:11] I get that. When I when I was in high school, and I knew I had those behavioral issues, every time I was brought to any kind of, like, guidance counselor, or any kind of therapist or anything, and they’d say, “You know, everything is between you and me. Unless you’re thinking of hurting yourself or somebody else.” So right at that moment, I wouldn’t say anything because I was thinking of hurting myself. I was suicidal, so therefore I never got any help, because I never opened my mouth. But yet I didn’t think of that as a red flag. Because it was that big a deal that they were going to tell my mom that I was thinking of hurting myself. That should have been like, “Oh, it’s such a big deal that they would tell my mom!” That is such a big red flag right there. I was thinking, “Oh no, don’t say a word. They’ll tell my mom! I should just be quiet because I don’t want her to know.” When really, that’s something she should have known about because that’s really important to get fixed.
Gabe: [00:15:02] Along that same line, it never occurred to me that anything was wrong with this because there was no mental health training. My parents, if my parents would have sat me down one day, and I hear this is kind of a messed up thing to say. But if they would have sat me down one day, and said, “Gabe, thinking about suicide is abnormal.” I would be like, “Really? That’s – really?” But they didn’t. We never had those conversations because my parents didn’t see any value in it. Which is, I love my mom and dad. I want to make that very, very clear. My mom and dad are not bad people. It never occurred to them that their child was thinking about killing himself, because if it would have occurred to them, they would have done something. We just believed all the bullshit about mental illness that most people believe. My parents were like, “You know, he’s smart. He gets average grades. He’s funny. He’s a good kid, and he comes from a good family, and we’re all good people. So clearly suicide isn’t an issue. He’s not mentally ill.” But my mother to this very day says that she always described me as her “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kid.” And I always point out when she says that you’re describing bipolar disorder. So my mother recognized that I had this. That I had the symptoms of bipolar disorder as a teenager, but she never was able to put it together any further. And that scares me, because that’s a giant red flag that everybody I knew missed. Even though they were all sitting around talking about it.
Michelle: [00:16:28] I don’t know. For a while I was trying to tell everybody that I couldn’t sleep at night. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t sleep at night. And I was just told, “You’re not getting sleeping pills! Stop trying to get sleeping pills!” I don’t want sleeping pills. “What do you want?” I want to sleep at night.
Gabe: [00:16:45] That’s interesting, because I too had trouble sleeping, and my parents had a billion reasons that it was my fault. You drink too much Mountain Dew. You’re too hyper. You’re watching too much television. You don’t get enough exercise. Or my personal favorite one, try harder.
Michelle: [00:17:02] Right.
Gabe: [00:17:02] Yeah. I can’t sleep. Try harder.
Michelle: [00:17:04] And sleeping was, like, the hardest thing. Because going to try to fall asleep was when the paranoia was almost at its worst. Because it would go through my entire day and everything I did that day and it would tell me how everything I did that day was the most horrible thing I could have done. And then, I would get delusional and believe that things happened that day that never happened, making it even worse. So then it was then things that I didn’t believe are true happened and then paranoia. It was just all this crazy. Kind of, who knows, is making up all this nonsense in my head. And I would cry myself to sleep every night, and the only thing I would say was I just want to sleep. Please I just want to sleep. “You’re not getting sleeping pills!”
Gabe: [00:17:43] You know when I said that I couldn’t sleep, nobody told me that I couldn’t have sleeping pills. The advantage I guess of being 14 years older than you, is that apparently sleeping pills just weren’t a thing in my generation.
Michelle: [00:17:52] It’s not that I wanted sleeping pills.
Gabe: [00:17:53] I know that it’s not. But nobody even thought that when I said I couldn’t sleep. Nobody thought that I was trying to get sleeping pills.
Michelle: [00:17:59] Oh yeah. Everyone was like, “Yeah, you just want your drugs.” They thought I was drug seeking.
Gabe: [00:18:01] Yeah, that’s bizarre. Nobody ever accused me of drug seeking by saying that I couldn’t sleep, but they didn’t think it was a problem either. And everybody thought it was my own fault. You know, frankly, they blamed it on caffeine, or my poor eating habits, or I needed more exercise. There was always some reason that these things were my fault. We’ve talked a lot about being kids. We’ve talked a lot about, like, our teenage years, when we were under our parents’ control. And maybe you were diagnosed sooner than me. What were some warning signs for you as an adult? Like what was with adult Michelle? The warning signs?
Michelle: [00:18:35] Like adult Michelle? Is that considering college as well?
Gabe: [00:18:37] Yeah. I mean, I mean, well, when you were a grown ass woman.
Michelle: [00:18:41] Well, there would be times I’d be in my room in college. Then I would just hear my other roommate, Kate, just yelling, “Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to?” And I’d be like, “Why? What are you talking about?” She goes, “I hear you speaking to somebody.” I’m like, “Oh, I was just working something out of my head. I’m just working stuff out.” But then other times that happened I would actually be on the phone, and she’d yell. I yell back, “Give me a break! I’m on the phone okay. Leave me alone.” But this happened so often. And then other times, my other friends, would be like, “You’re schizophrenic.” And I’d be like, “No, I’m not schizophrenic. That’s voices outside your head, not inside your head.”  And they’re like, “Are you sure about that?” And I’d be like, “Yeah, I’m definitely not schizophrenic, guys. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it, I’m not schizophrenic.” So that’s why when I told them I was, they were like, “Yeah, no shit. We told you that.”
Gabe: [00:19:32] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:19:33] That’s why they knew. They knew way before me. So when I told them, it was like telling them that I have brown hair. They were like, “We know. We know. We already knew this about you. What? What are you even trying to tell us? Like, you’re telling us nothing.”
Gabe: [00:19:46] That’s always a fascinating part of your story to me. You know, every time it comes up, or we discuss it, this idea that a lot of people around you knew that something was wrong, yet they weren’t actively seeking help for you. They were telling you, which is a step in the right direction. And you were ignoring them. And the reason that you were ignoring was not like people think. You weren’t ignoring them because you were schizophrenic. You were ignoring them because you didn’t understand. You didn’t agree with them. You didn’t. You didn’t see it yourself. You had no self-awareness, which I suppose people can argue was because of schizophrenia, but I think it’s a mixture. I’m sure that being schizophrenic probably played a role, but I think having no understanding of how mental illness works, its symptoms, its causes, or what to do about it, made it easy for you to skip.
Michelle: [00:20:32] Yeah I think so. I mean, I was diagnosed as bipolar. So I thought I was just bipolar. But then, I was, I kind of knew that those symptoms didn’t fit. When I googled the symptoms, it was like, I really don’t have this. But I might have something worse. But I don’t want to look it up, whatever is worse. And I don’t want to believe other people, so I’m just gonna say that I’m bipolar and leave it at that.
Gabe: [00:20:54] It’s fascinating to me. You’ve said this before, and I never know, like, how to respond to it. Because you’re like –
Michelle: [00:20:59] Because it’s like is one really worse?
Gabe: [00:21:00] Well, yeah. You’re, like, just bipolar. It’s kind of a bit like saying, “Well, I just have testicular cancer. I mean, I don’t have lung cancer. Just testicular cancer.”
Michelle: [00:21:13] I know. I was like this. I just stigmatize myself in that. That was like-
Gabe: [00:21:18] No, it was me. Just a lot of that is that just I’m very sad that you would do this to me.
Michelle: [00:21:23] Oh, yeah.
Gabe: [00:21:24] Just, wow. Just –
Michelle: [00:21:25] Wow.
Gabe: [00:21:25] Make sure you use person first language the next time you stigmatize me. That will make it all go away.
Michelle: [00:21:31] Oh really? Oh really?
Gabe: [00:21:33] Michelle, you and I, we had a lot of signs. And anybody listening to this show should know that the warning signs for both Michelle and I were like spotlights. And nobody really picked up on them. Our parents didn’t do nothing, and they made attempts to get us help, here and there. But it wasn’t the concentrated effort that it needed to be, because they didn’t know what to do. Outside of the symptoms that we have and that we’ve kind of discussed on the show, let’s talk about some other really big symptoms that we’ve heard about other people having. Common ones that people hear about. Like, for example, not being able to go to work for several days in a row, but not being physically ill, and not understanding why you can’t get out of bed. That’s kind of happened to us in a way, but –
Michelle: [00:22:15] Just not being able to get out of bed because you’re so depressed?
Gabe: [00:22:18] Yeah, yeah.
Michelle: [00:22:19] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:22:20] We’ve certainly been there, but kind of gone back and forth and back and forth. But I think by the time we were there, we probably knew we were mentally ill. So, it’s not necessarily a red flag before diagnosis, but rather an ongoing problem that that we suffered from. But losing interest in things that you used to have interest in is a big red flag. You know, giving away prized possessions is a big red flag. Pulling away from friends and relatives that you were close to is a big red flag. And while some of those things happened us, and some of those things didn’t, any of those things alone are cause for concern. And you know, maybe you should get a mental health checkup. Whether you go to your general practitioner, whether you go to a social worker, or a psychologist, or whether you go straight for a psychiatrist. I’m really always bummed when people say, “You know, I thought maybe there was something wrong, but it didn’t seem serious enough.” You know, we live in a country that goes to the doctor for the sniffles, and I’m OK with that. Like, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. So if you think that you might have a mental health problem, why not go get it checked out?
Michelle: [00:23:24] I have a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while, and I saw her, like, last weekend. And I’m talking to her and she’s struggling and things. And she’s going, “I think maybe, I think I’m going to go get some therapy. I think it. I think I’ll get therapy.” And I just said to her, “You know you’re saying that like not everybody goes to therapy? Everyone goes to therapy. It is incredibly common to go to therapy.” And I’m trying to explain to her that her thinking that therapy is like, so taboo, and that she’s going to go. Because she’s, like, kind of, almost seemed ashamed of it. That she could possibly be going to therapy and it’s such a bad thing that she thinks she needs it. And I’m just telling her, everybody goes to therapy. Everybody does it. There’s no shame. You ask a bunch of or maybe 10 people and ask them who’s been to therapy, at least half the people are going to raise their hand. There’s no shame in going to therapy. If you think you have to go to therapy, don’t think and make a huge deal about it. Just go.
Gabe: [00:24:20] It’s fascinating to see how therapy has sort of evolved from the generations. Like, my grandfather is 88 years old. He’s like, “Therapy is bullshit. Nobody should go. Be a man.” You know my dad’s in his 60s, and he went to therapy. But he wouldn’t tell anybody. My mom knew, and none of us kids could know, and he’s gonna hear this episode and he’s gonna be like, “What? Why? Why are you telling people that?” And then there’s my generation. You know, I’m in my 40s. I’ll go and I’ll tell my friends and family, but that’s it. And then there’s all the 20 year-olds that are like live streaming therapy on Facebook. Checking in with their therapist, they’re just like, “What do you  mean, you don’t have a therapist?” But that is good. That is good to see the evolution of it, because it’s a valuable thing. It matters in our society. And if you want to know the biggest red flag, that everybody should respond to, is if you think there might be something wrong, that’s a red flag. If your friends are coming to you and telling you there might be something wrong, that’s a red flag. Don’t look for the giant ones. Pay attention to the small ones. Because like all other illnesses, early treatment is key.
Gabe: [00:25:24] Thanks again for spending this week with A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Remember to share, like, and subscribe. Make Michelle and I famous. And if you get a chance, hop over to GabeHoward.com and buy my book, Mental Illness Is an Asshole. And of course, I have to be fair, so head over to schizophrenic.NYC and buy a shirt. You can also go to store.PsychCentral.com and buy the Define Normal shirt. They are almost out of stock, and I’m not sure we’re gonna be ordering more. We will see everybody next week.
Michelle: [00:25:53] Red flag.
Announcer: [00:25:57] You’ve been listening to a bipolar a schizophrenic kind of podcast. If you love this episode don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe rate and review to work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups. Head over to PsychCentral.com Show’s official Web site PsychCentral.com/bsp you can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening and share widely.
Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts
GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.
  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.
from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-warning-signs-of-bipolar-and-schizophrenia/
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Podcast: The Warning Signs of Bipolar and Schizophrenia

In general, people with mental illness aren’t perfectly fine one day and suddenly symptomatic the next. It often feels that way to people with bipolar, depression, and schizophrenia, but many of us in recovery realize that the warning signs were there all along. 
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“If you think there might be something wrong – that is a red flag.” – Gabe Howard
  Highlights From ‘Warning Bipolar Schizophrenia’’ Episode
[1:00] March 30th is World Bipolar Day!
[2:30] What are some of the warning signs of mental illness?
[5:00] Will supplements and exercise fix everything?
[7:45] Michelle’s huge red flag that she had schizophrenia.
[12:15] The red flags that Gabe has bipolar disorder.
[14:00] Why our hosts didn’t get any help when they were younger.
[18:30] The obvious warning signs of schizophrenia that Michelle’s college roommates noticed.
[22:00] Common symptoms of bipolar and schizophrenia.
[24:00] Everybody goes to therapy.
Computer Generated Transcript for ‘ The Warning Signs of Bipolar and Schizophrenia ‘ Show
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Announcer: [00:00:07] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and A Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.
Gabe: [00:00:09] You’re listening to a bipolar schizophrenic podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I have bipolar.
Michelle: [00:00:24] Hi, I’m Michelle. I’m schizophrenic.
Gabe: [00:00:27] And we’re going to talk about red flags. Basically-
Michelle: [00:00:30] Gabe, you forgot to say what this is.
Gabe: [00:00:32] This is a podcast. I said that.
Michelle: [00:00:34] When? You did?
Gabe: [00:00:35] I did. I said, “It’s A Bipolar, A schizophrenic, and a Podcast.”
Michelle: [00:00:37] I missed that.
Gabe: [00:00:39] But you know what I did forget to say? So I am glad that you brought it up? On March 30th, it is World Bipolar Day.
Michelle: [00:00:47] It is?
Gabe: [00:00:47] It is.
Michelle: [00:00:48] What a happy day. Or sad day. Or, I don’t know.
Gabe: [00:00:53] I kind of look at it as a both day. Like I wake up sad, but I go to bed happier, and kind of vacillate back and forth throughout the day.
Michelle: [00:01:00] Yeah. I know there must be so many people that are happy, or sad, or in the middle, or going up and down about how to feel on such a day.
Gabe: [00:01:07] So, World Bipolar Day. It takes place on Van Gogh’s birthday. And it really is kind of weird to think about, but it’s supposed to be like a celebration, or an acknowledgement of bipolar disorder and the contributions of people who live with bipolar disorder. It’s a day of awareness. It’s a day of acknowledgment. It’s a day of celebration. It can kind of be anything that you want. And it’s really caught on in the last few years.
Michelle: [00:01:28] Do you set off fireworks?
Gabe: [00:01:30] Not intentionally.
Michelle: [00:01:33] [Laughter]
Gabe: [00:01:34] It’s a really cool day, and I don’t know if our listeners are familiar with it. But you can find information on it by googling “world bipolar day.” You can also find more information on IBPF.org. That’s the International Bipolar Foundation. They sort of spearheaded this, but it’s been going on for a number of years. Michelle, is there a world schizophrenia day?
Michelle: [00:01:51] That’s a good question. I don’t really know.
Gabe: [00:01:54] If there’s not, like, I’m getting an idea.
Michelle: [00:01:56] You’re getting an idea?
Gabe: [00:01:57] We should spearhead world schizophrenia day.
Michelle: [00:02:01] OK, let’s do it.
Gabe: [00:02:01] We’re just gonna do it? Just do it?
Michelle: [00:02:03] Just right now.
Gabe: [00:02:03] Just right now?
Michelle: [00:02:04] How about today?
Gabe: [00:02:05] Let’s just cancel the podcast and just start our own holidays. It worked for Hallmark.
Michelle: [00:02:08] Let’s just make like different holidays every day. And then we never have to do anything, because it’s always a holiday.
Gabe: [00:02:15] This is genius.
Michelle: [00:02:17] Yeah. Holiday all day every day.
Gabe: [00:02:19] Holiday all day every day?
Michelle: [00:02:21] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:02:21] Excellent.
Michelle: [00:02:21] Excellent.
Gabe: [00:02:22] It sounds a little bit like our lives, though. If you think about.
Michelle: [00:02:25] A little.
Gabe: [00:02:25] Michelle, when we were going over the idea for the show, you said we should really talk about red flags of mental illness that we saw in ourselves before we were diagnosed. And we came up with really good ones that we’re gonna discuss. But, I think that we should maybe open it up a little later on in the show to talk about warning signs that we have personally seen in others. So, we’ve sort of got, like, the personal experience, the lived experience. But you know, maybe we should cover, like, some just straight up warning signs? Like, for example, if you are running naked down the street screaming that you’re being followed by Osama bin Laden, you might be schizophrenic.
Michelle: [00:03:04] Yeah. I would say there is something really big going on there. Or you could be doing a lot of drugs, honestly. If you’re really yelling that down the street.
Gabe: [00:03:11] It is interesting that you bring up the drug thing. Because we know many people who were diagnosed with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia because they were abusing drugs and alcohol, and when they got clean, they realized that they didn’t have a mental illness at all. But they were having the hallucinatory. . . “Hallucinatory?” Is that a word for real?
Michelle: [00:03:29] Sure, yeah.
Gabe: [00:03:30] Of the drugs. So it is kind of a messed up thing, isn’t it?
Michelle: [00:03:34] Drugs or schizophrenia? Let’s see. I guess so, sure.
Gabe: [00:03:38] And what if you genuinely have schizophrenia, but you are self medicating with drugs?
Michelle: [00:03:43] Well, that sounds like fun.
Gabe: [00:03:45] Does it?
Michelle: [00:03:46] No.
Gabe: [00:03:46] I mean we should probably put a little asterisk there. That Gabe and Michelle are not advocating treating schizophrenia with drugs.
Michelle: [00:03:55] I would not advocate that. I wouldn’t say to treat schizophrenia with drugs. Not a good idea. A guy on Instagram just told me that I should try CBD oils with exercise to help. And I said, “Well, you know, any kind of supplement or anything with exercise is always good. So thanks for the unsolicited advice asshole.”
Gabe: [00:04:15] Well now wait a minute. Come on, we can’t call our fans assholes.
Michelle: [00:04:18] No, I’m not saying he’s an asshole but I just don’t need like advice like oh how to schizophrenia. Have you tried CBD along with exercise? Okay, first of all exercise is always really a healthy thing to do. CBD? Sure, like all the other supplements could be beneficial or could do nothing. So, I don’t need somebody on Instagram telling me what to do to help my schizophrenia.
Gabe: [00:04:43] But isn’t this why social media was created? So that we could stalk other people and tell them they were wrong?
Michelle: [00:04:48] Sure. But listen, if I want your advice on Instagram I’ll ask for it.
Gabe: [00:04:55] I remember my father when I was growing up, he’s like, “If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” That was his motto.
Michelle: [00:05:01] What do you need? Some CBD and an awesome exercise, Gabe?
Gabe: [00:05:04] Maybe I need some CBD oil?
Michelle: [00:05:05] Yeah, just take some CBD and do some exercise, you’ll feel so much better. I heard it on Instagram today.
Gabe: [00:05:11] It is interesting, and I want to talk about something for the younger generation while we’re on this vein. I’m over 40, but I remember the exercise craze of the 90s. The early 90s, and there was all these supplements that came out. All of these pills that you could buy at the gas station, exactly like CBD oil. It’s going to change your life, they’re better, they’re amazing, and if you take the pills exactly like they order you to do so, you will lose weight. That was the big thing, they were weight loss supplements. And I always laughed, because they would say things like, “OK, you have to take four pills a day. Morning, noon, evening, and night. You have to take it each with a gallon of water.” So you’re gonna drink four gallons of water a day.
Michelle: [00:05:52] That’s not healthy.
Gabe: [00:05:53] And yet, maybe it wasn’t a gallon, maybe it was half a gallon, but it was an extreme amount of water. You’re supposed to take it with a lot of water. You were supposed to take the pills in supplement of dinner. So you weren’t supposed to eat dinner at all. And they put on the package that the pills worked best if you took a brisk 15 minute walk after each dosage.
Michelle: [00:06:13] Take a pill. Don’t eat. Drink lots of water, and take a walk.
Gabe: [00:06:17] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:06:17] And you will lose weight.
Gabe: [00:06:18] Yeah, and it’s the pills. It’s the magic pills.
Michelle: [00:06:20] Oh my goodness! That’s… that’s…. God that’s wow. Wow. So, I personally love the pills at the gas station that say that you get a huge boner.
Gabe: [00:06:30] Yeah. Yeah. It does remind me of the boner pills.
Michelle: [00:06:33] Yeah. The boner pills. I love those. OK. Gabe we are like on a tangent right now. What were we talking about?  Red flags.
Gabe: [00:06:38] It is a good tangent, because, I think that there are many people who live with mental illness, that think that they can take a magic pill that they bought at the gas station and they will live well. It’s really odd to me because, you know, “Big Pharma,” pills are bad unless you buy it at the gas station.
Michelle: [00:06:54] Just go take some St. John’s Wort.
Gabe: [00:06:55] Well you know, at least St. John’s Wort has some study behind it to show some efficacy for low grade depression. We, me and you, we do not have low grade anything.
Michelle: [00:07:04] I took St. John’s Wort. It did nothing for me. I’m not against St. John’s Wort. It’s just that personally, it was probably as helpful as CBD and exercise.
Gabe: [00:07:12] To tie this back together into something good, though. It is a red flag if you are constantly looking for sources outside of yourself to feel better.
Michelle: [00:07:20] Yes.
Gabe: [00:07:20] If your depression is so bad that you’re willing to try something that you bought on the Internet, or advice that you got on Instagram, or something at the gas station. If you are desperately looking for a cure, it is a pretty good indication that you’re acknowledging that you’re suffering from something. Because people who are healthy and happy don’t just buy random products and ingest them for no reason.
Michelle: [00:07:41] That’s a very good point.
Gabe: [00:07:42] I’m good at that. I do that.
Michelle: [00:07:43] You do that a lot, Gabe?
Gabe: [00:07:45] Michelle, what were some red flags that people saw in you before you noticed that anything was wrong?
Michelle: [00:07:50] Well, the huge red flag was that I was constantly talking to myself and I didn’t even realize I was talking myself or just laughing at myself. I remember my mother speaking to like high school teachers and/or middle school teachers, and she said your teachers are saying that you’re laughing at them. They’re saying that you’re laughing in class. And I’m like, I’m not laughing in class. I was going into delusions and hilariously laughing at my delusions and just laughing in class. Which had nothing to do with the class or anything I was learning about. I was just often off in like another land laughing hysterically. But I didn’t realize I was doing it, and I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t have memories of myself laughing during class to even try to defend myself. And I would say, I wasn’t laughing during class. But there you go. Right there was a huge red flag. The only time I remember specifically doing that was like, 11th grade physics. I’m sitting in the back of class and I guess I was just laughing so hysterically over and over again and not noticing that a girl who is two seats ahead of me turned around and goes, “Hey, are you OK?” And that’s when I realized. I started to go, “Oh! Oh, sorry. I… I was just laughing at something.” She goes, “What were you laughing at.” I’m like, “Oh, I think I was just thinking of something funny. I don’t know.” And that’s like the first time I noticed that I actually was just completely bursting into laughter at nothing around me. Only what was in my head.
Gabe: [00:09:11] Well, it’s interesting that you brought up that you were laughing at things that were in your head. You weren’t aware of anything that was happening around you, and the teachers and fellow students thought that you were, like, mocking them.
Michelle: [00:09:22] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:09:22] So now you’ve got two problems. You’ve obviously got the delusions, the laughter, and the lack of self-awareness. And you’ve managed to piss off people that you weren’t even aware were in the room.
Michelle: [00:09:33] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:09:33] And this is one of the things that makes it really, really difficult to get treatment. Because nobody thought that you needed treatment, but they did think you needed punishment.
Michelle: [00:09:41] Right. Actually, this just reminds me of college. I would, for example, I had my computer with me, and I would sit in the back of the class on my computer. And in the room it would often be dark, but the computer lights up my face. And I guess I would laugh a lot while I was, you know, also being delusional in class. I would just look at my computer, I would laugh, I would kind of take notes. But one time I went up to the teacher after class, and I said something to him, and he goes, “Oh, by the way, I see you laughing a lot during class. Are you laughing at, like, what you’re looking at on the computer? Or, like, at what I’m saying?” And I go, “Oh, no. No, no, no. I just do that a lot.” So there I was doing it again in college. Just bursting into laughter, being delusional at nothing. My whole life, I’ve been doing it and I still didn’t know I had schizophrenia.
Gabe: [00:10:25] This is interesting because I think that people need to understand that the worst case scenario is that people think you’re a jerk, because you’re laughing at them. But what if the thing that you were doing was yelling and screaming? What if you were like posturing and like a defensive thing? And like raising your fist? You know you’re a tiny little girl, Michelle, you know? But I’m a 300 pound, six foot three, man. Imagine if I was completely unaware that I was in a room, and I would stand up and I would start yelling, “Get off me!” That’s the kind of thing that can get you tackled, hurt, beat up, shot, arrested. Because it’s scary. It’s scary, you know? You’re kind of telling the story like hey, it’s a big red flag, because you were laughing in class. But you know, nobody’s gonna tackle and have you arrested because you’re laughing. Worst case scenario is they’re going to ask you to leave. But, you know, a lot of people in our community, their delusions don’t revolve around things that make them laugh. Their delusions revolve around things that make them defensive, or appear angry, or scary. And I understand why it would be scary if I stood up and started screaming at you. I wouldn’t want you to wonder whether or not I’m having a delusion. I would want you to run. So I’m telling you that if I’m sick, run. But that means you’re not helping me. But you really can’t risk it. I’m one hundred and fifty pounds bigger than you.
Michelle: [00:11:38] One second, we’re going to commercial.
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Michelle: [00:12:10] And we’re back, talking about red flags. Did you have any huge red flags?
Gabe: [00:12:16] Oh man, I had so many red flags! The biggest one that I’ve talked about on this show before, is that I thought about suicide every day as far back as I can remember. I didn’t think it was odd at all.
Michelle: [00:12:27] Like how far back?
Gabe: [00:12:28] Like when I was 4? 3? I don’t know. I never remember not thinking about it, and I think that kind of blows people’s minds, too. Remember on another episode, that you said that you didn’t tell anybody that you were paranoid? Because, after all, you were paranoid.
Michelle: [00:12:39] Right.
Gabe: [00:12:40] And it’s the way that you always felt, and it felt normal to you. The paranoia seemed very protective, so you weren’t doing anything to try to fix it. You were steering right in to that curve of paranoia.
Michelle: [00:12:50] Right. I believed it. I thought it was right. Therefore, I didn’t tell anybody, because I didn’t want to go against it. Because I didn’t want it to get worse.
Gabe: [00:12:58] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:12:58] If you, like, don’t listen to your paranoia, it’s only going to get worse. Because you’re going to get more paranoid. Right?
Gabe: [00:13:05] And the reason that you believed it is because it was just always with you?
Michelle: [00:13:07] Right.
Gabe: [00:13:07] Right. That’s how suicidal thoughts were to me. They were just always with me, and I just assumed that everybody else was thinking about suicide as well. I’m not saying that I thought that everybody was going to die by suicide, because that would be nuts. I thought that everybody was considering it. Just like I know that everybody can eat pizza. I just do. I just do because, you know, pizza is something that’s readily available. It’s relatively inexpensive. So when I see people not eating pizza, I assume to myself that the reason they’re not eating pizza isn’t because it’s unavailable to them, but it’s because they don’t want it. So when I see people not committing suicide, not dying by suicide,, or not self harming themselves, I just assumed it was because they didn’t want to. Not because they weren’t thinking about it, or not because they were emotionally healthy. I just thought they were making a choice, that was different from mine. But I sure as hell thought they were contemplating it. I did. I thought my parents would go to bed at night and think, “Wonder if we should kill ourselves tonight? No, we’ll stick it out with the kids.” That’s just what I thought.
Michelle: [00:14:11] I get that. When I when I was in high school, and I knew I had those behavioral issues, every time I was brought to any kind of, like, guidance counselor, or any kind of therapist or anything, and they’d say, “You know, everything is between you and me. Unless you’re thinking of hurting yourself or somebody else.” So right at that moment, I wouldn’t say anything because I was thinking of hurting myself. I was suicidal, so therefore I never got any help, because I never opened my mouth. But yet I didn’t think of that as a red flag. Because it was that big a deal that they were going to tell my mom that I was thinking of hurting myself. That should have been like, “Oh, it’s such a big deal that they would tell my mom!” That is such a big red flag right there. I was thinking, “Oh no, don’t say a word. They’ll tell my mom! I should just be quiet because I don’t want her to know.” When really, that’s something she should have known about because that’s really important to get fixed.
Gabe: [00:15:02] Along that same line, it never occurred to me that anything was wrong with this because there was no mental health training. My parents, if my parents would have sat me down one day, and I hear this is kind of a messed up thing to say. But if they would have sat me down one day, and said, “Gabe, thinking about suicide is abnormal.” I would be like, “Really? That’s – really?” But they didn’t. We never had those conversations because my parents didn’t see any value in it. Which is, I love my mom and dad. I want to make that very, very clear. My mom and dad are not bad people. It never occurred to them that their child was thinking about killing himself, because if it would have occurred to them, they would have done something. We just believed all the bullshit about mental illness that most people believe. My parents were like, “You know, he’s smart. He gets average grades. He’s funny. He’s a good kid, and he comes from a good family, and we’re all good people. So clearly suicide isn’t an issue. He’s not mentally ill.” But my mother to this very day says that she always described me as her “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kid.” And I always point out when she says that you’re describing bipolar disorder. So my mother recognized that I had this. That I had the symptoms of bipolar disorder as a teenager, but she never was able to put it together any further. And that scares me, because that’s a giant red flag that everybody I knew missed. Even though they were all sitting around talking about it.
Michelle: [00:16:28] I don’t know. For a while I was trying to tell everybody that I couldn’t sleep at night. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t sleep at night. And I was just told, “You’re not getting sleeping pills! Stop trying to get sleeping pills!” I don’t want sleeping pills. “What do you want?” I want to sleep at night.
Gabe: [00:16:45] That’s interesting, because I too had trouble sleeping, and my parents had a billion reasons that it was my fault. You drink too much Mountain Dew. You’re too hyper. You’re watching too much television. You don’t get enough exercise. Or my personal favorite one, try harder.
Michelle: [00:17:02] Right.
Gabe: [00:17:02] Yeah. I can’t sleep. Try harder.
Michelle: [00:17:04] And sleeping was, like, the hardest thing. Because going to try to fall asleep was when the paranoia was almost at its worst. Because it would go through my entire day and everything I did that day and it would tell me how everything I did that day was the most horrible thing I could have done. And then, I would get delusional and believe that things happened that day that never happened, making it even worse. So then it was then things that I didn’t believe are true happened and then paranoia. It was just all this crazy. Kind of, who knows, is making up all this nonsense in my head. And I would cry myself to sleep every night, and the only thing I would say was I just want to sleep. Please I just want to sleep. “You’re not getting sleeping pills!”
Gabe: [00:17:43] You know when I said that I couldn’t sleep, nobody told me that I couldn’t have sleeping pills. The advantage I guess of being 14 years older than you, is that apparently sleeping pills just weren’t a thing in my generation.
Michelle: [00:17:52] It’s not that I wanted sleeping pills.
Gabe: [00:17:53] I know that it’s not. But nobody even thought that when I said I couldn’t sleep. Nobody thought that I was trying to get sleeping pills.
Michelle: [00:17:59] Oh yeah. Everyone was like, “Yeah, you just want your drugs.” They thought I was drug seeking.
Gabe: [00:18:01] Yeah, that’s bizarre. Nobody ever accused me of drug seeking by saying that I couldn’t sleep, but they didn’t think it was a problem either. And everybody thought it was my own fault. You know, frankly, they blamed it on caffeine, or my poor eating habits, or I needed more exercise. There was always some reason that these things were my fault. We’ve talked a lot about being kids. We’ve talked a lot about, like, our teenage years, when we were under our parents’ control. And maybe you were diagnosed sooner than me. What were some warning signs for you as an adult? Like what was with adult Michelle? The warning signs?
Michelle: [00:18:35] Like adult Michelle? Is that considering college as well?
Gabe: [00:18:37] Yeah. I mean, I mean, well, when you were a grown ass woman.
Michelle: [00:18:41] Well, there would be times I’d be in my room in college. Then I would just hear my other roommate, Kate, just yelling, “Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to?” And I’d be like, “Why? What are you talking about?” She goes, “I hear you speaking to somebody.” I’m like, “Oh, I was just working something out of my head. I’m just working stuff out.” But then other times that happened I would actually be on the phone, and she’d yell. I yell back, “Give me a break! I’m on the phone okay. Leave me alone.” But this happened so often. And then other times, my other friends, would be like, “You’re schizophrenic.” And I’d be like, “No, I’m not schizophrenic. That’s voices outside your head, not inside your head.”  And they’re like, “Are you sure about that?” And I’d be like, “Yeah, I’m definitely not schizophrenic, guys. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it, I’m not schizophrenic.” So that’s why when I told them I was, they were like, “Yeah, no shit. We told you that.”
Gabe: [00:19:32] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:19:33] That’s why they knew. They knew way before me. So when I told them, it was like telling them that I have brown hair. They were like, “We know. We know. We already knew this about you. What? What are you even trying to tell us? Like, you’re telling us nothing.”
Gabe: [00:19:46] That’s always a fascinating part of your story to me. You know, every time it comes up, or we discuss it, this idea that a lot of people around you knew that something was wrong, yet they weren’t actively seeking help for you. They were telling you, which is a step in the right direction. And you were ignoring them. And the reason that you were ignoring was not like people think. You weren’t ignoring them because you were schizophrenic. You were ignoring them because you didn’t understand. You didn’t agree with them. You didn’t. You didn’t see it yourself. You had no self-awareness, which I suppose people can argue was because of schizophrenia, but I think it’s a mixture. I’m sure that being schizophrenic probably played a role, but I think having no understanding of how mental illness works, its symptoms, its causes, or what to do about it, made it easy for you to skip.
Michelle: [00:20:32] Yeah I think so. I mean, I was diagnosed as bipolar. So I thought I was just bipolar. But then, I was, I kind of knew that those symptoms didn’t fit. When I googled the symptoms, it was like, I really don’t have this. But I might have something worse. But I don’t want to look it up, whatever is worse. And I don’t want to believe other people, so I’m just gonna say that I’m bipolar and leave it at that.
Gabe: [00:20:54] It’s fascinating to me. You’ve said this before, and I never know, like, how to respond to it. Because you’re like –
Michelle: [00:20:59] Because it’s like is one really worse?
Gabe: [00:21:00] Well, yeah. You’re, like, just bipolar. It’s kind of a bit like saying, “Well, I just have testicular cancer. I mean, I don’t have lung cancer. Just testicular cancer.”
Michelle: [00:21:13] I know. I was like this. I just stigmatize myself in that. That was like-
Gabe: [00:21:18] No, it was me. Just a lot of that is that just I’m very sad that you would do this to me.
Michelle: [00:21:23] Oh, yeah.
Gabe: [00:21:24] Just, wow. Just –
Michelle: [00:21:25] Wow.
Gabe: [00:21:25] Make sure you use person first language the next time you stigmatize me. That will make it all go away.
Michelle: [00:21:31] Oh really? Oh really?
Gabe: [00:21:33] Michelle, you and I, we had a lot of signs. And anybody listening to this show should know that the warning signs for both Michelle and I were like spotlights. And nobody really picked up on them. Our parents didn’t do nothing, and they made attempts to get us help, here and there. But it wasn’t the concentrated effort that it needed to be, because they didn’t know what to do. Outside of the symptoms that we have and that we’ve kind of discussed on the show, let’s talk about some other really big symptoms that we’ve heard about other people having. Common ones that people hear about. Like, for example, not being able to go to work for several days in a row, but not being physically ill, and not understanding why you can’t get out of bed. That’s kind of happened to us in a way, but –
Michelle: [00:22:15] Just not being able to get out of bed because you’re so depressed?
Gabe: [00:22:18] Yeah, yeah.
Michelle: [00:22:19] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:22:20] We’ve certainly been there, but kind of gone back and forth and back and forth. But I think by the time we were there, we probably knew we were mentally ill. So, it’s not necessarily a red flag before diagnosis, but rather an ongoing problem that that we suffered from. But losing interest in things that you used to have interest in is a big red flag. You know, giving away prized possessions is a big red flag. Pulling away from friends and relatives that you were close to is a big red flag. And while some of those things happened us, and some of those things didn’t, any of those things alone are cause for concern. And you know, maybe you should get a mental health checkup. Whether you go to your general practitioner, whether you go to a social worker, or a psychologist, or whether you go straight for a psychiatrist. I’m really always bummed when people say, “You know, I thought maybe there was something wrong, but it didn’t seem serious enough.” You know, we live in a country that goes to the doctor for the sniffles, and I’m OK with that. Like, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. So if you think that you might have a mental health problem, why not go get it checked out?
Michelle: [00:23:24] I have a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while, and I saw her, like, last weekend. And I’m talking to her and she’s struggling and things. And she’s going, “I think maybe, I think I’m going to go get some therapy. I think it. I think I’ll get therapy.” And I just said to her, “You know you’re saying that like not everybody goes to therapy? Everyone goes to therapy. It is incredibly common to go to therapy.” And I’m trying to explain to her that her thinking that therapy is like, so taboo, and that she’s going to go. Because she’s, like, kind of, almost seemed ashamed of it. That she could possibly be going to therapy and it’s such a bad thing that she thinks she needs it. And I’m just telling her, everybody goes to therapy. Everybody does it. There’s no shame. You ask a bunch of or maybe 10 people and ask them who’s been to therapy, at least half the people are going to raise their hand. There’s no shame in going to therapy. If you think you have to go to therapy, don’t think and make a huge deal about it. Just go.
Gabe: [00:24:20] It’s fascinating to see how therapy has sort of evolved from the generations. Like, my grandfather is 88 years old. He’s like, “Therapy is bullshit. Nobody should go. Be a man.” You know my dad’s in his 60s, and he went to therapy. But he wouldn’t tell anybody. My mom knew, and none of us kids could know, and he’s gonna hear this episode and he’s gonna be like, “What? Why? Why are you telling people that?” And then there’s my generation. You know, I’m in my 40s. I’ll go and I’ll tell my friends and family, but that’s it. And then there’s all the 20 year-olds that are like live streaming therapy on Facebook. Checking in with their therapist, they’re just like, “What do you  mean, you don’t have a therapist?” But that is good. That is good to see the evolution of it, because it’s a valuable thing. It matters in our society. And if you want to know the biggest red flag, that everybody should respond to, is if you think there might be something wrong, that’s a red flag. If your friends are coming to you and telling you there might be something wrong, that’s a red flag. Don’t look for the giant ones. Pay attention to the small ones. Because like all other illnesses, early treatment is key.
Gabe: [00:25:24] Thanks again for spending this week with A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Remember to share, like, and subscribe. Make Michelle and I famous. And if you get a chance, hop over to GabeHoward.com and buy my book, Mental Illness Is an Asshole. And of course, I have to be fair, so head over to schizophrenic.NYC and buy a shirt. You can also go to store.PsychCentral.com and buy the Define Normal shirt. They are almost out of stock, and I’m not sure we’re gonna be ordering more. We will see everybody next week.
Michelle: [00:25:53] Red flag.
Announcer: [00:25:57] You’ve been listening to a bipolar a schizophrenic kind of podcast. If you love this episode don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe rate and review to work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups. Head over to PsychCentral.com Show’s official Web site PsychCentral.com/bsp you can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening and share widely.
Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts
GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.
  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.
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Podcast: The Warning Signs of Bipolar and Schizophrenia

In general, people with mental illness aren’t perfectly fine one day and suddenly symptomatic the next. It often feels that way to people with bipolar, depression, and schizophrenia, but many of us in recovery realize that the warning signs were there all along. 
  SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW
“If you think there might be something wrong – that is a red flag.” – Gabe Howard
  Highlights From ‘Warning Bipolar Schizophrenia’’ Episode
[1:00] March 30th is World Bipolar Day!
[2:30] What are some of the warning signs of mental illness?
[5:00] Will supplements and exercise fix everything?
[7:45] Michelle’s huge red flag that she had schizophrenia.
[12:15] The red flags that Gabe has bipolar disorder.
[14:00] Why our hosts didn’t get any help when they were younger.
[18:30] The obvious warning signs of schizophrenia that Michelle’s college roommates noticed.
[22:00] Common symptoms of bipolar and schizophrenia.
[24:00] Everybody goes to therapy.
Computer Generated Transcript for ‘ The Warning Signs of Bipolar and Schizophrenia ‘ Show
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Announcer: [00:00:07] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and A Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.
Gabe: [00:00:09] You’re listening to a bipolar schizophrenic podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I have bipolar.
Michelle: [00:00:24] Hi, I’m Michelle. I’m schizophrenic.
Gabe: [00:00:27] And we’re going to talk about red flags. Basically-
Michelle: [00:00:30] Gabe, you forgot to say what this is.
Gabe: [00:00:32] This is a podcast. I said that.
Michelle: [00:00:34] When? You did?
Gabe: [00:00:35] I did. I said, “It’s A Bipolar, A schizophrenic, and a Podcast.”
Michelle: [00:00:37] I missed that.
Gabe: [00:00:39] But you know what I did forget to say? So I am glad that you brought it up? On March 30th, it is World Bipolar Day.
Michelle: [00:00:47] It is?
Gabe: [00:00:47] It is.
Michelle: [00:00:48] What a happy day. Or sad day. Or, I don’t know.
Gabe: [00:00:53] I kind of look at it as a both day. Like I wake up sad, but I go to bed happier, and kind of vacillate back and forth throughout the day.
Michelle: [00:01:00] Yeah. I know there must be so many people that are happy, or sad, or in the middle, or going up and down about how to feel on such a day.
Gabe: [00:01:07] So, World Bipolar Day. It takes place on Van Gogh’s birthday. And it really is kind of weird to think about, but it’s supposed to be like a celebration, or an acknowledgement of bipolar disorder and the contributions of people who live with bipolar disorder. It’s a day of awareness. It’s a day of acknowledgment. It’s a day of celebration. It can kind of be anything that you want. And it’s really caught on in the last few years.
Michelle: [00:01:28] Do you set off fireworks?
Gabe: [00:01:30] Not intentionally.
Michelle: [00:01:33] [Laughter]
Gabe: [00:01:34] It’s a really cool day, and I don’t know if our listeners are familiar with it. But you can find information on it by googling “world bipolar day.” You can also find more information on IBPF.org. That’s the International Bipolar Foundation. They sort of spearheaded this, but it’s been going on for a number of years. Michelle, is there a world schizophrenia day?
Michelle: [00:01:51] That’s a good question. I don’t really know.
Gabe: [00:01:54] If there’s not, like, I’m getting an idea.
Michelle: [00:01:56] You’re getting an idea?
Gabe: [00:01:57] We should spearhead world schizophrenia day.
Michelle: [00:02:01] OK, let’s do it.
Gabe: [00:02:01] We’re just gonna do it? Just do it?
Michelle: [00:02:03] Just right now.
Gabe: [00:02:03] Just right now?
Michelle: [00:02:04] How about today?
Gabe: [00:02:05] Let’s just cancel the podcast and just start our own holidays. It worked for Hallmark.
Michelle: [00:02:08] Let’s just make like different holidays every day. And then we never have to do anything, because it’s always a holiday.
Gabe: [00:02:15] This is genius.
Michelle: [00:02:17] Yeah. Holiday all day every day.
Gabe: [00:02:19] Holiday all day every day?
Michelle: [00:02:21] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:02:21] Excellent.
Michelle: [00:02:21] Excellent.
Gabe: [00:02:22] It sounds a little bit like our lives, though. If you think about.
Michelle: [00:02:25] A little.
Gabe: [00:02:25] Michelle, when we were going over the idea for the show, you said we should really talk about red flags of mental illness that we saw in ourselves before we were diagnosed. And we came up with really good ones that we’re gonna discuss. But, I think that we should maybe open it up a little later on in the show to talk about warning signs that we have personally seen in others. So, we’ve sort of got, like, the personal experience, the lived experience. But you know, maybe we should cover, like, some just straight up warning signs? Like, for example, if you are running naked down the street screaming that you’re being followed by Osama bin Laden, you might be schizophrenic.
Michelle: [00:03:04] Yeah. I would say there is something really big going on there. Or you could be doing a lot of drugs, honestly. If you’re really yelling that down the street.
Gabe: [00:03:11] It is interesting that you bring up the drug thing. Because we know many people who were diagnosed with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia because they were abusing drugs and alcohol, and when they got clean, they realized that they didn’t have a mental illness at all. But they were having the hallucinatory. . . “Hallucinatory?” Is that a word for real?
Michelle: [00:03:29] Sure, yeah.
Gabe: [00:03:30] Of the drugs. So it is kind of a messed up thing, isn’t it?
Michelle: [00:03:34] Drugs or schizophrenia? Let’s see. I guess so, sure.
Gabe: [00:03:38] And what if you genuinely have schizophrenia, but you are self medicating with drugs?
Michelle: [00:03:43] Well, that sounds like fun.
Gabe: [00:03:45] Does it?
Michelle: [00:03:46] No.
Gabe: [00:03:46] I mean we should probably put a little asterisk there. That Gabe and Michelle are not advocating treating schizophrenia with drugs.
Michelle: [00:03:55] I would not advocate that. I wouldn’t say to treat schizophrenia with drugs. Not a good idea. A guy on Instagram just told me that I should try CBD oils with exercise to help. And I said, “Well, you know, any kind of supplement or anything with exercise is always good. So thanks for the unsolicited advice asshole.”
Gabe: [00:04:15] Well now wait a minute. Come on, we can’t call our fans assholes.
Michelle: [00:04:18] No, I’m not saying he’s an asshole but I just don’t need like advice like oh how to schizophrenia. Have you tried CBD along with exercise? Okay, first of all exercise is always really a healthy thing to do. CBD? Sure, like all the other supplements could be beneficial or could do nothing. So, I don’t need somebody on Instagram telling me what to do to help my schizophrenia.
Gabe: [00:04:43] But isn’t this why social media was created? So that we could stalk other people and tell them they were wrong?
Michelle: [00:04:48] Sure. But listen, if I want your advice on Instagram I’ll ask for it.
Gabe: [00:04:55] I remember my father when I was growing up, he’s like, “If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” That was his motto.
Michelle: [00:05:01] What do you need? Some CBD and an awesome exercise, Gabe?
Gabe: [00:05:04] Maybe I need some CBD oil?
Michelle: [00:05:05] Yeah, just take some CBD and do some exercise, you’ll feel so much better. I heard it on Instagram today.
Gabe: [00:05:11] It is interesting, and I want to talk about something for the younger generation while we’re on this vein. I’m over 40, but I remember the exercise craze of the 90s. The early 90s, and there was all these supplements that came out. All of these pills that you could buy at the gas station, exactly like CBD oil. It’s going to change your life, they’re better, they’re amazing, and if you take the pills exactly like they order you to do so, you will lose weight. That was the big thing, they were weight loss supplements. And I always laughed, because they would say things like, “OK, you have to take four pills a day. Morning, noon, evening, and night. You have to take it each with a gallon of water.” So you’re gonna drink four gallons of water a day.
Michelle: [00:05:52] That’s not healthy.
Gabe: [00:05:53] And yet, maybe it wasn’t a gallon, maybe it was half a gallon, but it was an extreme amount of water. You’re supposed to take it with a lot of water. You were supposed to take the pills in supplement of dinner. So you weren’t supposed to eat dinner at all. And they put on the package that the pills worked best if you took a brisk 15 minute walk after each dosage.
Michelle: [00:06:13] Take a pill. Don’t eat. Drink lots of water, and take a walk.
Gabe: [00:06:17] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:06:17] And you will lose weight.
Gabe: [00:06:18] Yeah, and it’s the pills. It’s the magic pills.
Michelle: [00:06:20] Oh my goodness! That’s… that’s…. God that’s wow. Wow. So, I personally love the pills at the gas station that say that you get a huge boner.
Gabe: [00:06:30] Yeah. Yeah. It does remind me of the boner pills.
Michelle: [00:06:33] Yeah. The boner pills. I love those. OK. Gabe we are like on a tangent right now. What were we talking about?  Red flags.
Gabe: [00:06:38] It is a good tangent, because, I think that there are many people who live with mental illness, that think that they can take a magic pill that they bought at the gas station and they will live well. It’s really odd to me because, you know, “Big Pharma,” pills are bad unless you buy it at the gas station.
Michelle: [00:06:54] Just go take some St. John’s Wort.
Gabe: [00:06:55] Well you know, at least St. John’s Wort has some study behind it to show some efficacy for low grade depression. We, me and you, we do not have low grade anything.
Michelle: [00:07:04] I took St. John’s Wort. It did nothing for me. I’m not against St. John’s Wort. It’s just that personally, it was probably as helpful as CBD and exercise.
Gabe: [00:07:12] To tie this back together into something good, though. It is a red flag if you are constantly looking for sources outside of yourself to feel better.
Michelle: [00:07:20] Yes.
Gabe: [00:07:20] If your depression is so bad that you’re willing to try something that you bought on the Internet, or advice that you got on Instagram, or something at the gas station. If you are desperately looking for a cure, it is a pretty good indication that you’re acknowledging that you’re suffering from something. Because people who are healthy and happy don’t just buy random products and ingest them for no reason.
Michelle: [00:07:41] That’s a very good point.
Gabe: [00:07:42] I’m good at that. I do that.
Michelle: [00:07:43] You do that a lot, Gabe?
Gabe: [00:07:45] Michelle, what were some red flags that people saw in you before you noticed that anything was wrong?
Michelle: [00:07:50] Well, the huge red flag was that I was constantly talking to myself and I didn’t even realize I was talking myself or just laughing at myself. I remember my mother speaking to like high school teachers and/or middle school teachers, and she said your teachers are saying that you’re laughing at them. They’re saying that you’re laughing in class. And I’m like, I’m not laughing in class. I was going into delusions and hilariously laughing at my delusions and just laughing in class. Which had nothing to do with the class or anything I was learning about. I was just often off in like another land laughing hysterically. But I didn’t realize I was doing it, and I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t have memories of myself laughing during class to even try to defend myself. And I would say, I wasn’t laughing during class. But there you go. Right there was a huge red flag. The only time I remember specifically doing that was like, 11th grade physics. I’m sitting in the back of class and I guess I was just laughing so hysterically over and over again and not noticing that a girl who is two seats ahead of me turned around and goes, “Hey, are you OK?” And that’s when I realized. I started to go, “Oh! Oh, sorry. I… I was just laughing at something.” She goes, “What were you laughing at.” I’m like, “Oh, I think I was just thinking of something funny. I don’t know.” And that’s like the first time I noticed that I actually was just completely bursting into laughter at nothing around me. Only what was in my head.
Gabe: [00:09:11] Well, it’s interesting that you brought up that you were laughing at things that were in your head. You weren’t aware of anything that was happening around you, and the teachers and fellow students thought that you were, like, mocking them.
Michelle: [00:09:22] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:09:22] So now you’ve got two problems. You’ve obviously got the delusions, the laughter, and the lack of self-awareness. And you’ve managed to piss off people that you weren’t even aware were in the room.
Michelle: [00:09:33] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:09:33] And this is one of the things that makes it really, really difficult to get treatment. Because nobody thought that you needed treatment, but they did think you needed punishment.
Michelle: [00:09:41] Right. Actually, this just reminds me of college. I would, for example, I had my computer with me, and I would sit in the back of the class on my computer. And in the room it would often be dark, but the computer lights up my face. And I guess I would laugh a lot while I was, you know, also being delusional in class. I would just look at my computer, I would laugh, I would kind of take notes. But one time I went up to the teacher after class, and I said something to him, and he goes, “Oh, by the way, I see you laughing a lot during class. Are you laughing at, like, what you’re looking at on the computer? Or, like, at what I’m saying?” And I go, “Oh, no. No, no, no. I just do that a lot.” So there I was doing it again in college. Just bursting into laughter, being delusional at nothing. My whole life, I’ve been doing it and I still didn’t know I had schizophrenia.
Gabe: [00:10:25] This is interesting because I think that people need to understand that the worst case scenario is that people think you’re a jerk, because you’re laughing at them. But what if the thing that you were doing was yelling and screaming? What if you were like posturing and like a defensive thing? And like raising your fist? You know you’re a tiny little girl, Michelle, you know? But I’m a 300 pound, six foot three, man. Imagine if I was completely unaware that I was in a room, and I would stand up and I would start yelling, “Get off me!” That’s the kind of thing that can get you tackled, hurt, beat up, shot, arrested. Because it’s scary. It’s scary, you know? You’re kind of telling the story like hey, it’s a big red flag, because you were laughing in class. But you know, nobody’s gonna tackle and have you arrested because you’re laughing. Worst case scenario is they’re going to ask you to leave. But, you know, a lot of people in our community, their delusions don’t revolve around things that make them laugh. Their delusions revolve around things that make them defensive, or appear angry, or scary. And I understand why it would be scary if I stood up and started screaming at you. I wouldn’t want you to wonder whether or not I’m having a delusion. I would want you to run. So I’m telling you that if I’m sick, run. But that means you’re not helping me. But you really can’t risk it. I’m one hundred and fifty pounds bigger than you.
Michelle: [00:11:38] One second, we’re going to commercial.
Announcer: [00:11:40]This episode is sponsored by betterhelp.com secure convenient and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to betterhelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. Betterhelp.com/PsychCentral.
Michelle: [00:12:10] And we’re back, talking about red flags. Did you have any huge red flags?
Gabe: [00:12:16] Oh man, I had so many red flags! The biggest one that I’ve talked about on this show before, is that I thought about suicide every day as far back as I can remember. I didn’t think it was odd at all.
Michelle: [00:12:27] Like how far back?
Gabe: [00:12:28] Like when I was 4? 3? I don’t know. I never remember not thinking about it, and I think that kind of blows people’s minds, too. Remember on another episode, that you said that you didn’t tell anybody that you were paranoid? Because, after all, you were paranoid.
Michelle: [00:12:39] Right.
Gabe: [00:12:40] And it’s the way that you always felt, and it felt normal to you. The paranoia seemed very protective, so you weren’t doing anything to try to fix it. You were steering right in to that curve of paranoia.
Michelle: [00:12:50] Right. I believed it. I thought it was right. Therefore, I didn’t tell anybody, because I didn’t want to go against it. Because I didn’t want it to get worse.
Gabe: [00:12:58] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:12:58] If you, like, don’t listen to your paranoia, it’s only going to get worse. Because you’re going to get more paranoid. Right?
Gabe: [00:13:05] And the reason that you believed it is because it was just always with you?
Michelle: [00:13:07] Right.
Gabe: [00:13:07] Right. That’s how suicidal thoughts were to me. They were just always with me, and I just assumed that everybody else was thinking about suicide as well. I’m not saying that I thought that everybody was going to die by suicide, because that would be nuts. I thought that everybody was considering it. Just like I know that everybody can eat pizza. I just do. I just do because, you know, pizza is something that’s readily available. It’s relatively inexpensive. So when I see people not eating pizza, I assume to myself that the reason they’re not eating pizza isn’t because it’s unavailable to them, but it’s because they don’t want it. So when I see people not committing suicide, not dying by suicide,, or not self harming themselves, I just assumed it was because they didn’t want to. Not because they weren’t thinking about it, or not because they were emotionally healthy. I just thought they were making a choice, that was different from mine. But I sure as hell thought they were contemplating it. I did. I thought my parents would go to bed at night and think, “Wonder if we should kill ourselves tonight? No, we’ll stick it out with the kids.” That’s just what I thought.
Michelle: [00:14:11] I get that. When I when I was in high school, and I knew I had those behavioral issues, every time I was brought to any kind of, like, guidance counselor, or any kind of therapist or anything, and they’d say, “You know, everything is between you and me. Unless you’re thinking of hurting yourself or somebody else.” So right at that moment, I wouldn’t say anything because I was thinking of hurting myself. I was suicidal, so therefore I never got any help, because I never opened my mouth. But yet I didn’t think of that as a red flag. Because it was that big a deal that they were going to tell my mom that I was thinking of hurting myself. That should have been like, “Oh, it’s such a big deal that they would tell my mom!” That is such a big red flag right there. I was thinking, “Oh no, don’t say a word. They’ll tell my mom! I should just be quiet because I don’t want her to know.” When really, that’s something she should have known about because that’s really important to get fixed.
Gabe: [00:15:02] Along that same line, it never occurred to me that anything was wrong with this because there was no mental health training. My parents, if my parents would have sat me down one day, and I hear this is kind of a messed up thing to say. But if they would have sat me down one day, and said, “Gabe, thinking about suicide is abnormal.” I would be like, “Really? That’s – really?” But they didn’t. We never had those conversations because my parents didn’t see any value in it. Which is, I love my mom and dad. I want to make that very, very clear. My mom and dad are not bad people. It never occurred to them that their child was thinking about killing himself, because if it would have occurred to them, they would have done something. We just believed all the bullshit about mental illness that most people believe. My parents were like, “You know, he’s smart. He gets average grades. He’s funny. He’s a good kid, and he comes from a good family, and we’re all good people. So clearly suicide isn’t an issue. He’s not mentally ill.” But my mother to this very day says that she always described me as her “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kid.” And I always point out when she says that you’re describing bipolar disorder. So my mother recognized that I had this. That I had the symptoms of bipolar disorder as a teenager, but she never was able to put it together any further. And that scares me, because that’s a giant red flag that everybody I knew missed. Even though they were all sitting around talking about it.
Michelle: [00:16:28] I don’t know. For a while I was trying to tell everybody that I couldn’t sleep at night. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t sleep at night. And I was just told, “You’re not getting sleeping pills! Stop trying to get sleeping pills!” I don’t want sleeping pills. “What do you want?” I want to sleep at night.
Gabe: [00:16:45] That’s interesting, because I too had trouble sleeping, and my parents had a billion reasons that it was my fault. You drink too much Mountain Dew. You’re too hyper. You’re watching too much television. You don’t get enough exercise. Or my personal favorite one, try harder.
Michelle: [00:17:02] Right.
Gabe: [00:17:02] Yeah. I can’t sleep. Try harder.
Michelle: [00:17:04] And sleeping was, like, the hardest thing. Because going to try to fall asleep was when the paranoia was almost at its worst. Because it would go through my entire day and everything I did that day and it would tell me how everything I did that day was the most horrible thing I could have done. And then, I would get delusional and believe that things happened that day that never happened, making it even worse. So then it was then things that I didn’t believe are true happened and then paranoia. It was just all this crazy. Kind of, who knows, is making up all this nonsense in my head. And I would cry myself to sleep every night, and the only thing I would say was I just want to sleep. Please I just want to sleep. “You’re not getting sleeping pills!”
Gabe: [00:17:43] You know when I said that I couldn’t sleep, nobody told me that I couldn’t have sleeping pills. The advantage I guess of being 14 years older than you, is that apparently sleeping pills just weren’t a thing in my generation.
Michelle: [00:17:52] It’s not that I wanted sleeping pills.
Gabe: [00:17:53] I know that it’s not. But nobody even thought that when I said I couldn’t sleep. Nobody thought that I was trying to get sleeping pills.
Michelle: [00:17:59] Oh yeah. Everyone was like, “Yeah, you just want your drugs.” They thought I was drug seeking.
Gabe: [00:18:01] Yeah, that’s bizarre. Nobody ever accused me of drug seeking by saying that I couldn’t sleep, but they didn’t think it was a problem either. And everybody thought it was my own fault. You know, frankly, they blamed it on caffeine, or my poor eating habits, or I needed more exercise. There was always some reason that these things were my fault. We’ve talked a lot about being kids. We’ve talked a lot about, like, our teenage years, when we were under our parents’ control. And maybe you were diagnosed sooner than me. What were some warning signs for you as an adult? Like what was with adult Michelle? The warning signs?
Michelle: [00:18:35] Like adult Michelle? Is that considering college as well?
Gabe: [00:18:37] Yeah. I mean, I mean, well, when you were a grown ass woman.
Michelle: [00:18:41] Well, there would be times I’d be in my room in college. Then I would just hear my other roommate, Kate, just yelling, “Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to?” And I’d be like, “Why? What are you talking about?” She goes, “I hear you speaking to somebody.” I’m like, “Oh, I was just working something out of my head. I’m just working stuff out.” But then other times that happened I would actually be on the phone, and she’d yell. I yell back, “Give me a break! I’m on the phone okay. Leave me alone.” But this happened so often. And then other times, my other friends, would be like, “You’re schizophrenic.” And I’d be like, “No, I’m not schizophrenic. That’s voices outside your head, not inside your head.”  And they’re like, “Are you sure about that?” And I’d be like, “Yeah, I’m definitely not schizophrenic, guys. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it, I’m not schizophrenic.” So that’s why when I told them I was, they were like, “Yeah, no shit. We told you that.”
Gabe: [00:19:32] Yeah.
Michelle: [00:19:33] That’s why they knew. They knew way before me. So when I told them, it was like telling them that I have brown hair. They were like, “We know. We know. We already knew this about you. What? What are you even trying to tell us? Like, you’re telling us nothing.”
Gabe: [00:19:46] That’s always a fascinating part of your story to me. You know, every time it comes up, or we discuss it, this idea that a lot of people around you knew that something was wrong, yet they weren’t actively seeking help for you. They were telling you, which is a step in the right direction. And you were ignoring them. And the reason that you were ignoring was not like people think. You weren’t ignoring them because you were schizophrenic. You were ignoring them because you didn’t understand. You didn’t agree with them. You didn’t. You didn’t see it yourself. You had no self-awareness, which I suppose people can argue was because of schizophrenia, but I think it’s a mixture. I’m sure that being schizophrenic probably played a role, but I think having no understanding of how mental illness works, its symptoms, its causes, or what to do about it, made it easy for you to skip.
Michelle: [00:20:32] Yeah I think so. I mean, I was diagnosed as bipolar. So I thought I was just bipolar. But then, I was, I kind of knew that those symptoms didn’t fit. When I googled the symptoms, it was like, I really don’t have this. But I might have something worse. But I don’t want to look it up, whatever is worse. And I don’t want to believe other people, so I’m just gonna say that I’m bipolar and leave it at that.
Gabe: [00:20:54] It’s fascinating to me. You’ve said this before, and I never know, like, how to respond to it. Because you’re like –
Michelle: [00:20:59] Because it’s like is one really worse?
Gabe: [00:21:00] Well, yeah. You’re, like, just bipolar. It’s kind of a bit like saying, “Well, I just have testicular cancer. I mean, I don’t have lung cancer. Just testicular cancer.”
Michelle: [00:21:13] I know. I was like this. I just stigmatize myself in that. That was like-
Gabe: [00:21:18] No, it was me. Just a lot of that is that just I’m very sad that you would do this to me.
Michelle: [00:21:23] Oh, yeah.
Gabe: [00:21:24] Just, wow. Just –
Michelle: [00:21:25] Wow.
Gabe: [00:21:25] Make sure you use person first language the next time you stigmatize me. That will make it all go away.
Michelle: [00:21:31] Oh really? Oh really?
Gabe: [00:21:33] Michelle, you and I, we had a lot of signs. And anybody listening to this show should know that the warning signs for both Michelle and I were like spotlights. And nobody really picked up on them. Our parents didn’t do nothing, and they made attempts to get us help, here and there. But it wasn’t the concentrated effort that it needed to be, because they didn’t know what to do. Outside of the symptoms that we have and that we’ve kind of discussed on the show, let’s talk about some other really big symptoms that we’ve heard about other people having. Common ones that people hear about. Like, for example, not being able to go to work for several days in a row, but not being physically ill, and not understanding why you can’t get out of bed. That’s kind of happened to us in a way, but –
Michelle: [00:22:15] Just not being able to get out of bed because you’re so depressed?
Gabe: [00:22:18] Yeah, yeah.
Michelle: [00:22:19] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:22:20] We’ve certainly been there, but kind of gone back and forth and back and forth. But I think by the time we were there, we probably knew we were mentally ill. So, it’s not necessarily a red flag before diagnosis, but rather an ongoing problem that that we suffered from. But losing interest in things that you used to have interest in is a big red flag. You know, giving away prized possessions is a big red flag. Pulling away from friends and relatives that you were close to is a big red flag. And while some of those things happened us, and some of those things didn’t, any of those things alone are cause for concern. And you know, maybe you should get a mental health checkup. Whether you go to your general practitioner, whether you go to a social worker, or a psychologist, or whether you go straight for a psychiatrist. I’m really always bummed when people say, “You know, I thought maybe there was something wrong, but it didn’t seem serious enough.” You know, we live in a country that goes to the doctor for the sniffles, and I’m OK with that. Like, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. So if you think that you might have a mental health problem, why not go get it checked out?
Michelle: [00:23:24] I have a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while, and I saw her, like, last weekend. And I’m talking to her and she’s struggling and things. And she’s going, “I think maybe, I think I’m going to go get some therapy. I think it. I think I’ll get therapy.” And I just said to her, “You know you’re saying that like not everybody goes to therapy? Everyone goes to therapy. It is incredibly common to go to therapy.” And I’m trying to explain to her that her thinking that therapy is like, so taboo, and that she’s going to go. Because she’s, like, kind of, almost seemed ashamed of it. That she could possibly be going to therapy and it’s such a bad thing that she thinks she needs it. And I’m just telling her, everybody goes to therapy. Everybody does it. There’s no shame. You ask a bunch of or maybe 10 people and ask them who’s been to therapy, at least half the people are going to raise their hand. There’s no shame in going to therapy. If you think you have to go to therapy, don’t think and make a huge deal about it. Just go.
Gabe: [00:24:20] It’s fascinating to see how therapy has sort of evolved from the generations. Like, my grandfather is 88 years old. He’s like, “Therapy is bullshit. Nobody should go. Be a man.” You know my dad’s in his 60s, and he went to therapy. But he wouldn’t tell anybody. My mom knew, and none of us kids could know, and he’s gonna hear this episode and he’s gonna be like, “What? Why? Why are you telling people that?” And then there’s my generation. You know, I’m in my 40s. I’ll go and I’ll tell my friends and family, but that’s it. And then there’s all the 20 year-olds that are like live streaming therapy on Facebook. Checking in with their therapist, they’re just like, “What do you  mean, you don’t have a therapist?” But that is good. That is good to see the evolution of it, because it’s a valuable thing. It matters in our society. And if you want to know the biggest red flag, that everybody should respond to, is if you think there might be something wrong, that’s a red flag. If your friends are coming to you and telling you there might be something wrong, that’s a red flag. Don’t look for the giant ones. Pay attention to the small ones. Because like all other illnesses, early treatment is key.
Gabe: [00:25:24] Thanks again for spending this week with A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Remember to share, like, and subscribe. Make Michelle and I famous. And if you get a chance, hop over to GabeHoward.com and buy my book, Mental Illness Is an Asshole. And of course, I have to be fair, so head over to schizophrenic.NYC and buy a shirt. You can also go to store.PsychCentral.com and buy the Define Normal shirt. They are almost out of stock, and I’m not sure we’re gonna be ordering more. We will see everybody next week.
Michelle: [00:25:53] Red flag.
Announcer: [00:25:57] You’ve been listening to a bipolar a schizophrenic kind of podcast. If you love this episode don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe rate and review to work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups. Head over to PsychCentral.com Show’s official Web site PsychCentral.com/bsp you can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening and share widely.
Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts
GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.
  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.
from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2UUQvTW via theshiningmind.com
0 notes
shumparker1953-blog · 5 years
Text
We did it!! We raised $18,002 for charity
Tumblr media
A year and a half ago, I saw a speech that changed my life - and the lives of at least 600 other people in the developing world.
I was at the World Domination Summit in Portland, where I'd later be speaking. I sat in the audience as Scott Harrison took the stage.
Scott is a former nightclub promoter who, at age 28, had a crisis of conscience. His job was encouraging people to get drunk. He smoked two packs a day. He gambled. He felt like he wasn't adding anything to the world. And he wasn't sure if, or how, he could.
“One day, I woke up and I realized I was the worst person I knew,” he wrote in an article on Medium.
He quit his job, sold most of his possessions, and spent the next two years as a photojournalist on a hospital ship off the coast of Liberia in west Africa. He saw diseases that were unlike anything he'd imagined.
As WIRED describes: “Some of the patients were grotesquely deformed by grapefruit-sized tumors, while others were nearly blind from cataracts that turned their eyes opaque.” (Here are images.)
He felt surprised - and then sad, then angry, then determined - when he realized that thousands of people die from preventable diseases, like cholera and dysentery, that are spread by drinking dirty water. More than 660 million people in the world don't have access to clean drinking water, which is almost 1 out of every 10 people. That's twice the population of the U.S.
That's unacceptable.
Scott decided to spend his life bringing safe water to the villages and communities that need it most. He came back to the U.S., threw a party at a nightclub, and raised the initial seed capital for charity:water. More than a decade later, he stood on the stage in Portland, sharing photos of the people whose lives he's changed.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've seen many nonprofit leaders deliver speeches. But there was something about Scott's mission that struck me. Maybe it's because nearly everyone at that conference in Portland seemed to be carrying a BPA-free water bottle. Maybe it was the experience of walking past the hallway drinking fountains without a second glance. But for some reason, in that moment, I thought: “I have a platform. I could use it to save lives.”
Cue the eyeroll. I get it. I get it. “Saving lives” is a lofty goal, and its achievement is hard to pinpoint. That's the thing about prevention; you never know whom you may have spared.
A decade ago, when I worked at a newspaper, we'd write articles about community nonprofits on slow news days. The staff would refer to these as “angel-sheds-a-tear” stories.
Don't get me wrong; we supported these efforts. But the stories seemed so cliche, so repetitive, that a part of me wondered: “Are we actually doing anything, or are we just making ourselves feel better?”
The gulf between cynicism and hope is bridged by effectiveness, and Scott built an organization that's indisputably effective. Their mission is critical. What's more basic, more fundamental to survival, than drinking water? Their results are tangible, specific, and easy to verify.
They've funded more than 28,000 water projects, like digging wells, creating rainwater catchment systems, and distributing biosand filters. Their projects can be tracked on Google Maps.
They've also opened two separate bank accounts. They use one account for their administrative overhead. This account gets funded by a small group of donors. They use 100 percent of their other account for water projects. This account is funded by public donations. This means every dime they raise from the public goes directly to water projects. Their accounts are audited. They can prove it.
I interviewed Scott on my podcast last year, and I told my audience that I had a lofty goal: I wanted to raise at least $12,000 in the year 2018 for charity:water.
If we raised that amount, Afford Anything could sponsor a water project. We would fund a specific project, tangible and GPS-identifiable. It would exist because of this community.
I started 2018 with huge enthusiasm for this goal. My Chief Sanity Officer Erin and I designed three shirts and sold them on Amazon, and we donated 100 percent of profits ($5.38 per shirt) to charity:water. I also set up a page on the charity:water website where people could make direct donations.
Then I waited. And watched. And bummed myself out.
By July 2018, we'd raised around $3,000. While that's amazing and helpful and I'm grateful for it … it also felt like a blow. We were halfway through the year, but only one-fourth of the way to our $12,000 goal.
There was no way we'd be able to raise $12,000 by the end of the year, I thought. I felt deflated. Disappointed. I knew I should feel grateful for what we have achieved, but I kept feeling like this was a setback. I'd been in contact with Anna, who works on the charity:water team, both last year and this year; we'd spoken on the phone about Afford Anything's sponsorship campaign. I didn't want to have to call Anna at the end of 2018 and say, “Sorry, we failed. We tried to raise enough to sponsor a project, and we failed.”
I spent the late summer and fall making peace with that idea. I told myself that if I could make any difference at all, that's something to celebrate. I told myself that it's better to fall short of lofty goals than to create errors-of-thinking-too-small, as I'm prone to doing. I told myself that it doesn't matter if we sponsor a project or not; what matters is that there's at least one human being who won't suffer from typhoid or cholera or guinea worm disease. This isn't about us, it's about the person on the other side.
I found peace with it. I let it go. I accepted what is.
And then I checked the charity:water fundraising page, and saw this:
Tumblr media
HOLY MOLY WE DID IT!!!!!!!!! We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it, we did it!!!!
We - no pun intended - we blew it out of the water!!!!!
I'd like to express massive, massive gratitude to several people right now, starting with Richard Potter, a podcast listener who generously matched donations up to $4,000. He fueled the fire that made this possible.
Tumblr media
He made the donation that brought us up to the $4,000 mark, and then he announced that he'd match contributions, dollar-for-dollar, up to a $4,000 limit.
When I announced this on my podcast, the floodgates opened (no pun intended yet again). This community responded with enthusiasm unlike anything I've ever seen. Donations skyrocketed from $4,000 to $8,000 nearly overnight. Richard matched these donations, as promised, which brought the total balance to $12,000 and allowed us, the Afford Anything community, to become the official project sponsor of a water project.
Tumblr media
WE DID IT!!!
And can I admit something? I thought it would stop there. Yes, I know; ye of little faith. I thought that once we reached the matching contribution limit, donations would slow to a trickle. (So many puns. I can't help it.)
Thank goodness I was wrong.
You all amaze me so much … the donations keep coming! Here are a few of the many:
Susan, a podcast listener, gave $300 after she watched an interview with Scott. A family in Israel, including their daughters ages 9, 13 and 16, contributed $191. A podcast listener named Clara gave $15 with a note that said, “Only a little bit as I'm a student, but it all helps.” And a listener named Mark donated $250 with a note that said, “I'm so proud of how you handled Suze.”
Massive thanks to Lancy Erdmann, who donated $2,000, J Clark, who donated $1,500, two anonymous donors who gave $1,000 each, Charles Rosenbusch, who gave $500, and the many, many people who gave $100, $50, $25, $20, $15, $10 and $5. I'm also grateful to everyone who bought a t-shirt to support the campaign.
The support keeps coming!!
Wow.
Tonight, as I write this, with 15 days remaining before the end of the year, we've raised more than $18,000 for clean drinking water.
Tumblr media
  Thank you. This is amazing. Afford Anything is you. It's this community. It's this incredible group, gathering together to improve lives and help others and focus on money and purpose and meaning and contribution and life.
We are Afford Anything. And we are creating a legacy.
____
To support this campaign:
Buy a t-shirt on Amazon. 100 percent of the profits will go directly to charity: water.
Make a donation at affordanything.com/water
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes
justinrmcneill-blog · 5 years
Text
We did it!! We raised $18,002 for charity
Tumblr media
A year and a half ago, I saw a speech that changed my life - and the lives of at least 600 other people in the developing world.
I was at the World Domination Summit in Portland, where I'd later be speaking. I sat in the audience as Scott Harrison took the stage.
Scott is a former nightclub promoter who, at age 28, had a crisis of conscience. His job was encouraging people to get drunk. He smoked two packs a day. He gambled. He felt like he wasn't adding anything to the world. And he wasn't sure if, or how, he could.
“One day, I woke up and I realized I was the worst person I knew,” he wrote in an article on Medium.
He quit his job, sold most of his possessions, and spent the next two years as a photojournalist on a hospital ship off the coast of Liberia in west Africa. He saw diseases that were unlike anything he'd imagined.
As WIRED describes: “Some of the patients were grotesquely deformed by grapefruit-sized tumors, while others were nearly blind from cataracts that turned their eyes opaque.” (Here are images.)
He felt surprised - and then sad, then angry, then determined - when he realized that thousands of people die from preventable diseases, like cholera and dysentery, that are spread by drinking dirty water. More than 660 million people in the world don't have access to clean drinking water, which is almost 1 out of every 10 people. That's twice the population of the U.S.
That's unacceptable.
Scott decided to spend his life bringing safe water to the villages and communities that need it most. He came back to the U.S., threw a party at a nightclub, and raised the initial seed capital for charity:water. More than a decade later, he stood on the stage in Portland, sharing photos of the people whose lives he's changed.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've seen many nonprofit leaders deliver speeches. But there was something about Scott's mission that struck me. Maybe it's because nearly everyone at that conference in Portland seemed to be carrying a BPA-free water bottle. Maybe it was the experience of walking past the hallway drinking fountains without a second glance. But for some reason, in that moment, I thought: “I have a platform. I could use it to save lives.”
Cue the eyeroll. I get it. I get it. “Saving lives” is a lofty goal, and its achievement is hard to pinpoint. That's the thing about prevention; you never know whom you may have spared.
A decade ago, when I worked at a newspaper, we'd write articles about community nonprofits on slow news days. The staff would refer to these as “angel-sheds-a-tear” stories.
Don't get me wrong; we supported these efforts. But the stories seemed so cliche, so repetitive, that a part of me wondered: “Are we actually doing anything, or are we just making ourselves feel better?”
The gulf between cynicism and hope is bridged by effectiveness, and Scott built an organization that's indisputably effective. Their mission is critical. What's more basic, more fundamental to survival, than drinking water? Their results are tangible, specific, and easy to verify.
They've funded more than 28,000 water projects, like digging wells, creating rainwater catchment systems, and distributing biosand filters. Their projects can be tracked on Google Maps.
They've also opened two separate bank accounts. They use one account for their administrative overhead. This account gets funded by a small group of donors. They use 100 percent of their other account for water projects. This account is funded by public donations. This means every dime they raise from the public goes directly to water projects. Their accounts are audited. They can prove it.
I interviewed Scott on my podcast last year, and I told my audience that I had a lofty goal: I wanted to raise at least $12,000 in the year 2018 for charity:water.
If we raised that amount, Afford Anything could sponsor a water project. We would fund a specific project, tangible and GPS-identifiable. It would exist because of this community.
I started 2018 with huge enthusiasm for this goal. My Chief Sanity Officer Erin and I designed three shirts and sold them on Amazon, and we donated 100 percent of profits ($5.38 per shirt) to charity:water. I also set up a page on the charity:water website where people could make direct donations.
Then I waited. And watched. And bummed myself out.
By July 2018, we'd raised around $3,000. While that's amazing and helpful and I'm grateful for it … it also felt like a blow. We were halfway through the year, but only one-fourth of the way to our $12,000 goal.
There was no way we'd be able to raise $12,000 by the end of the year, I thought. I felt deflated. Disappointed. I knew I should feel grateful for what we have achieved, but I kept feeling like this was a setback. I'd been in contact with Anna, who works on the charity:water team, both last year and this year; we'd spoken on the phone about Afford Anything's sponsorship campaign. I didn't want to have to call Anna at the end of 2018 and say, “Sorry, we failed. We tried to raise enough to sponsor a project, and we failed.”
I spent the late summer and fall making peace with that idea. I told myself that if I could make any difference at all, that's something to celebrate. I told myself that it's better to fall short of lofty goals than to create errors-of-thinking-too-small, as I'm prone to doing. I told myself that it doesn't matter if we sponsor a project or not; what matters is that there's at least one human being who won't suffer from typhoid or cholera or guinea worm disease. This isn't about us, it's about the person on the other side.
I found peace with it. I let it go. I accepted what is.
And then I checked the charity:water fundraising page, and saw this:
Tumblr media
HOLY MOLY WE DID IT!!!!!!!!! We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it, we did it!!!!
We - no pun intended - we blew it out of the water!!!!!
I'd like to express massive, massive gratitude to several people right now, starting with Richard Potter, a podcast listener who generously matched donations up to $4,000. He fueled the fire that made this possible.
Tumblr media
He made the donation that brought us up to the $4,000 mark, and then he announced that he'd match contributions, dollar-for-dollar, up to a $4,000 limit.
When I announced this on my podcast, the floodgates opened (no pun intended yet again). This community responded with enthusiasm unlike anything I've ever seen. Donations skyrocketed from $4,000 to $8,000 nearly overnight. Richard matched these donations, as promised, which brought the total balance to $12,000 and allowed us, the Afford Anything community, to become the official project sponsor of a water project.
Tumblr media
WE DID IT!!!
And can I admit something? I thought it would stop there. Yes, I know; ye of little faith. I thought that once we reached the matching contribution limit, donations would slow to a trickle. (So many puns. I can't help it.)
Thank goodness I was wrong.
You all amaze me so much … the donations keep coming! Here are a few of the many:
Susan, a podcast listener, gave $300 after she watched an interview with Scott. A family in Israel, including their daughters ages 9, 13 and 16, contributed $191. A podcast listener named Clara gave $15 with a note that said, “Only a little bit as I'm a student, but it all helps.” And a listener named Mark donated $250 with a note that said, “I'm so proud of how you handled Suze.”
Massive thanks to Lancy Erdmann, who donated $2,000, J Clark, who donated $1,500, two anonymous donors who gave $1,000 each, Charles Rosenbusch, who gave $500, and the many, many people who gave $100, $50, $25, $20, $15, $10 and $5. I'm also grateful to everyone who bought a t-shirt to support the campaign.
The support keeps coming!!
Wow.
Tonight, as I write this, with 15 days remaining before the end of the year, we've raised more than $18,000 for clean drinking water.
Tumblr media
  Thank you. This is amazing. Afford Anything is you. It's this community. It's this incredible group, gathering together to improve lives and help others and focus on money and purpose and meaning and contribution and life.
We are Afford Anything. And we are creating a legacy.
____
To support this campaign:
Buy a t-shirt on Amazon. 100 percent of the profits will go directly to charity: water.
Make a donation at affordanything.com/water
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes
skuds-blog · 5 years
Text
We did it!! We raised $18,002 for charity
Tumblr media
A year and a half ago, I saw a speech that changed my life - and the lives of at least 600 other people in the developing world.
I was at the World Domination Summit in Portland, where I'd later be speaking. I sat in the audience as Scott Harrison took the stage.
Scott is a former nightclub promoter who, at age 28, had a crisis of conscience. His job was encouraging people to get drunk. He smoked two packs a day. He gambled. He felt like he wasn't adding anything to the world. And he wasn't sure if, or how, he could.
“One day, I woke up and I realized I was the worst person I knew,” he wrote in an article on Medium.
He quit his job, sold most of his possessions, and spent the next two years as a photojournalist on a hospital ship off the coast of Liberia in west Africa. He saw diseases that were unlike anything he'd imagined.
As WIRED describes: “Some of the patients were grotesquely deformed by grapefruit-sized tumors, while others were nearly blind from cataracts that turned their eyes opaque.” (Here are images.)
He felt surprised - and then sad, then angry, then determined - when he realized that thousands of people die from preventable diseases, like cholera and dysentery, that are spread by drinking dirty water. More than 660 million people in the world don't have access to clean drinking water, which is almost 1 out of every 10 people. That's twice the population of the U.S.
That's unacceptable.
Scott decided to spend his life bringing safe water to the villages and communities that need it most. He came back to the U.S., threw a party at a nightclub, and raised the initial seed capital for charity:water. More than a decade later, he stood on the stage in Portland, sharing photos of the people whose lives he's changed.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've seen many nonprofit leaders deliver speeches. But there was something about Scott's mission that struck me. Maybe it's because nearly everyone at that conference in Portland seemed to be carrying a BPA-free water bottle. Maybe it was the experience of walking past the hallway drinking fountains without a second glance. But for some reason, in that moment, I thought: “I have a platform. I could use it to save lives.”
Cue the eyeroll. I get it. I get it. “Saving lives” is a lofty goal, and its achievement is hard to pinpoint. That's the thing about prevention; you never know whom you may have spared.
A decade ago, when I worked at a newspaper, we'd write articles about community nonprofits on slow news days. The staff would refer to these as “angel-sheds-a-tear” stories.
Don't get me wrong; we supported these efforts. But the stories seemed so cliche, so repetitive, that a part of me wondered: “Are we actually doing anything, or are we just making ourselves feel better?”
The gulf between cynicism and hope is bridged by effectiveness, and Scott built an organization that's indisputably effective. Their mission is critical. What's more basic, more fundamental to survival, than drinking water? Their results are tangible, specific, and easy to verify.
They've funded more than 28,000 water projects, like digging wells, creating rainwater catchment systems, and distributing biosand filters. Their projects can be tracked on Google Maps.
They've also opened two separate bank accounts. They use one account for their administrative overhead. This account gets funded by a small group of donors. They use 100 percent of their other account for water projects. This account is funded by public donations. This means every dime they raise from the public goes directly to water projects. Their accounts are audited. They can prove it.
I interviewed Scott on my podcast last year, and I told my audience that I had a lofty goal: I wanted to raise at least $12,000 in the year 2018 for charity:water.
If we raised that amount, Afford Anything could sponsor a water project. We would fund a specific project, tangible and GPS-identifiable. It would exist because of this community.
I started 2018 with huge enthusiasm for this goal. My Chief Sanity Officer Erin and I designed three shirts and sold them on Amazon, and we donated 100 percent of profits ($5.38 per shirt) to charity:water. I also set up a page on the charity:water website where people could make direct donations.
Then I waited. And watched. And bummed myself out.
By July 2018, we'd raised around $3,000. While that's amazing and helpful and I'm grateful for it … it also felt like a blow. We were halfway through the year, but only one-fourth of the way to our $12,000 goal.
There was no way we'd be able to raise $12,000 by the end of the year, I thought. I felt deflated. Disappointed. I knew I should feel grateful for what we have achieved, but I kept feeling like this was a setback. I'd been in contact with Anna, who works on the charity:water team, both last year and this year; we'd spoken on the phone about Afford Anything's sponsorship campaign. I didn't want to have to call Anna at the end of 2018 and say, “Sorry, we failed. We tried to raise enough to sponsor a project, and we failed.”
I spent the late summer and fall making peace with that idea. I told myself that if I could make any difference at all, that's something to celebrate. I told myself that it's better to fall short of lofty goals than to create errors-of-thinking-too-small, as I'm prone to doing. I told myself that it doesn't matter if we sponsor a project or not; what matters is that there's at least one human being who won't suffer from typhoid or cholera or guinea worm disease. This isn't about us, it's about the person on the other side.
I found peace with it. I let it go. I accepted what is.
And then I checked the charity:water fundraising page, and saw this:
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HOLY MOLY WE DID IT!!!!!!!!! We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it, we did it!!!!
We - no pun intended - we blew it out of the water!!!!!
I'd like to express massive, massive gratitude to several people right now, starting with Richard Potter, a podcast listener who generously matched donations up to $4,000. He fueled the fire that made this possible.
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He made the donation that brought us up to the $4,000 mark, and then he announced that he'd match contributions, dollar-for-dollar, up to a $4,000 limit.
When I announced this on my podcast, the floodgates opened (no pun intended yet again). This community responded with enthusiasm unlike anything I've ever seen. Donations skyrocketed from $4,000 to $8,000 nearly overnight. Richard matched these donations, as promised, which brought the total balance to $12,000 and allowed us, the Afford Anything community, to become the official project sponsor of a water project.
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WE DID IT!!!
And can I admit something? I thought it would stop there. Yes, I know; ye of little faith. I thought that once we reached the matching contribution limit, donations would slow to a trickle. (So many puns. I can't help it.)
Thank goodness I was wrong.
You all amaze me so much … the donations keep coming! Here are a few of the many:
Susan, a podcast listener, gave $300 after she watched an interview with Scott. A family in Israel, including their daughters ages 9, 13 and 16, contributed $191. A podcast listener named Clara gave $15 with a note that said, “Only a little bit as I'm a student, but it all helps.” And a listener named Mark donated $250 with a note that said, “I'm so proud of how you handled Suze.”
Massive thanks to Lancy Erdmann, who donated $2,000, J Clark, who donated $1,500, two anonymous donors who gave $1,000 each, Charles Rosenbusch, who gave $500, and the many, many people who gave $100, $50, $25, $20, $15, $10 and $5. I'm also grateful to everyone who bought a t-shirt to support the campaign.
The support keeps coming!!
Wow.
Tonight, as I write this, with 15 days remaining before the end of the year, we've raised more than $18,000 for clean drinking water.
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  Thank you. This is amazing. Afford Anything is you. It's this community. It's this incredible group, gathering together to improve lives and help others and focus on money and purpose and meaning and contribution and life.
We are Afford Anything. And we are creating a legacy.
____
To support this campaign:
Buy a t-shirt on Amazon. 100 percent of the profits will go directly to charity: water.
Make a donation at affordanything.com/water
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helicopterears · 6 years
Text
REAR GUARD: EVEN MAGGOTS DON'T SURVIVE IT
Summer. Rabbits. Flies. More flies. Fewer rabbits. Nightmare. Then, Rear Guard comes to rescue. Vets recommend it. Rabbit welfare organisations praise it. Rabbit owners swear by it. Rabbits are queueing to have their fluffy bottoms lathered up. Problem solved.
I used Rear Guard in our early rabbiting days. The rabbit in question, Mushka, passed from unknown causes, and I can’t confirm or deny the link. I never thought of it at any depth, to be honest. We kept supplies of it at Helicopter Ears, and we’ve had many rabbits at risk of fly strike, but we never resorted to using Rear Guard. 
And yesterday I was glad we didn’t. 
If you want to hear what I think yet gruesomeness is not your thing, I have an abridged version for you:
Don't use it. 
If like me, you are the sceptical kind, read on.
Today, I chatted with one of our long-term supporters. About rabbits, as usual. I said how annoying it is when rabbits are diagnosed with 'gut stasis,' because in my experience, stasis is never an illness but rather a symptom of one: something causes it, and taking gut motility stimulants when a rabbit is in renal failure is akin to giving painkillers for a headache when there's a brain tumour to blame, which is when she told me that on one occasion, three of her rabbits went into stasis after they were treated with Rear Guard.
Hmm, that's interesting, I thought.
The rabbits became ill, she said, all at once, on the night they had been treated with Rear Guard, within hours after application. At first, they lost appetite, and by the morning, she had to take them back to the vet: they produced no droppings during the night.
The vet was not in any hurry to blame the miraculous and much-sought-after product which saved many lives (and lined many pockets) for the mysterious illness, but the rabbit owner was not quite so sure: three of her eight rabbits were ill following its application, and apart from Rear Guard, nothing had been different in their daily routine. A bit of a coincidence, no? I think so.
Some background information
Before we go on, this is what you must know about the lady, about her rabbits, about me, and about Rear Guard.
The lady is a super-experienced bunny-owner and diligent as can be. I didn't ask who applied Rear Guard, she or the vet, because I have no reason to think she would apply the product incorrectly, and there's not much room for error, frankly. It's foolproof.
She is sure that all of the rabbits had been healthy prior to the application.
All opinions, assumptions, guesses and any errors in calculations which follow are my own; the rabbit owner does not necessarily share my views or doubts her vet, Novartis or anyone who may recommend any of its products, including Rear Guard. I'm the one causing all the trouble here, and I'm the only one to kick, OK?
As it happens, Rear Guard does come with a warning. The manufacturer's label states a "temporary reduction in appetite" is possible (I can't recall the exact wording, as I binned our supplies, but it's something along those lines and not anything worth getting pedantic about).
Obviously, the less they eat, the less they poop, hence the stasis. Worrying and all that ... These paranoid rabbit owners, huh? Nothing but trouble, me included. And when it comes to me, you won't find much more paranoid than that! And, as I always wondered how this marvellous, expensive, and widely-recommended by the most credible and trusted of sources product works, anyway, and because I adhere to the view that a reduction in appetite is never just a reduction in appetite, Google, here we come!
My unscientific research
The first thing Dr Google spat out was the active ingredient in Rear Guard being cyromazine. According to not very many sources (1, 2, 3) (patience is not my strong point) I had the stomach to read, the acute LD (lethal dose) for rabbits (oral ingestion) is 1467 mg/kg. The solution is 6% w/v, meaning there is 60mg of cyromazine in 1 ml, and there's 25 ml in a bottle, which makes it 1500mg cyromazine per bottle, which, as we have learned, is sufficient to dispatch a 1 kg rabbit (with certainty).
Just so we are clear, LD is 'Lethal Dose,' meaning the subject will certainly die after ingesting that amount, while LD50 means half will certainly die. That is my personal, unscientific definition. Smaller "doses" (I don't know ... Do we "dose" poisons?) will more likely than not result in adverse effects.
But we're not feeding it to them, right?
Let's not forget that rabbits' faces spend a lot of time around their bottoms, both to groom and to consume caecotrophs.
But surely they can't ingest enough to cause harm, right?
That would depend on the size of a rabbit, how clean they like their bottom, and how thorough they are at cleaning it, I guess.
But why guess when we have science, right?
Finally! My favourite part. This science says ingesting 25 mg/kg/day (that's 0.4 ml's worth, I think!) or more causes rabbits to die from (brace yourself):
heart failure
pneumonia-pleuritis
lung congestion and oedema
other causes not possible to establish. Hmm.
That's just 0.4 ml: you don't have to drink the bottle. The bottle would be sufficient to knock out 62.5 kg's worth of rabbits. (Now, if you're Paddington, that's 7 of you. If you're Frankie, that's 62.5 Frankies. And that’s a lot of Frankies. We don’t even have that many.)
I didn't click on all the links to see how long it took them to die, but probably, not very. Anyway, moving on swiftly.
At just 10mg/kg/day, rabbits suffered a reduction in weight, and pregnant does had miscarriages. Male fertility was also affected. 
Graphic depictions of fetus malformations and birth defects featured in every paper I came across, and the didn’t seem to be dose-related:
multiple head deformities
cleft palate
hydrocephalus (for those wondering what it is)
spina bifida (not very nice)
a variety of hernias (diaphragmatic and umbilical)
vertebral and rib anomalies
tarsal flexure
absent kidney and ureter
And, as we read on, we finally learn reduction in faecal excretion was reported in "treated" groups. Ah, that's why the manufacturer warns about the appetite reduction!
Now, to the positives
I'm sure there are other "effects" to marvel at, but I'd had enough at that point and decided to focus on the positives:
No malformations were observed in kits dying at days 4-28. (Never mind they're dead.)
No changes in behaviour were noted.
Cyromazine is thought to be only very slightly cancerogenic. (Phew!)
But the best thing is: it prevents maggots from hatching ...
... for 10 glorious weeks ...
... at a mere cost of £30 or so ...
... and minor indigestion.
Ah, that's how it works! Now I understand! 
How it works
It's so freaking toxic even maggots don't survive in it.
My guess is, assuming a rabbit ingests this product, he will quite likely be somewhat ill. Possibly, very. Maybe, dead.
My guess is Novartis didn't follow up on the subjects of their "study" for long enough to know what possible consequences could result from the application of their product. ( I was so sick of it all by this point, and I didn’t go into too much depth, so I must admit, I didn’t go into it in too much depth, but upon a quick scan, it did appear 6 rabbits were studied for 21 days. Wow. )
My guess is if there are no immediately obvious adverse effects, they are more likely than not yet to come.
I'm not a vet, and my degrees are not in pharmaceuticals, so the opinions expressed are probably just guesses, anyway, and you should feel free to dismiss them as nonsense. If a reputable source you trust recommends Rear Guard, by all means, totally go ahead and use it. As to me, not being a huge fan of animal testing, I shan't experiment on our herd. Call me paranoid if you like.
If you must use it
The good news is: There's no need to pay over the odds!
Cyromazine is an AGRICULTURAL PESTICIDE, and as such, it very reasonably priced. A quick Google search will get you a litre of this miracle-drug for just $3 (that’s right, just three bucks). And if you think a litre is 40 x 25 ml bottles, wait until I tell you, it's undiluted. I'm not gonna reach for my calculator here, you can do your own math, but that's AHELLAFALOT OF RABBITS you can treat.
Something tells me that Novartis pricing Rear Guard handsomely at nearly £30 per 25 ml, and Rear Guard being nothing more than a common pesticide of a very thin dilution, we're being taken for a ride.
It comes with a health warning, though: you absolutely must follow the manufacturer's instructions and wash your hands after use! Cyromazine is toxicology category III, you know?
Which conveniently leads me to my next point:
Come on, Novartis ... I think a small label adjustment is in order:
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For ideas on how to minimise the risk of fly strike in summer, please check this post, and don’t forget to share your experience and advice.
This post has been made possible by the generousity of our patrons. By supporting us, you help us continue working for the good of bunnies and bring you more content you will enjoy.
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Helicopter Ears | REAR GUARD: EVEN MAGGOTS DON’T SURVIVE IT | Formatting changes | v.1.2 | 18-JUL-2018
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I am 16 male, and I have a 2006 Honda Civic Sedan 4 door black currently living in NYC Long Island and I want to know what is my Insurance rate. How much would I have to pay every month please tell me every month not year !! Thanks ALSO FOR POINTS PLEASE TELL ME HOW MUCH FOR A 2002-2006 Honda accord !!""
Cheap car insurance for me?
Right I'm 22 and at college doing painting and decorating and have A LOT of people wanting things done to there houses but they are too far away and I can't carry a paste tae plus tools on a bus and hawl it everywhere with me all the time so I need to get my *** in gear and get a car. I'm going to be taking lessons in the near future but insurance is obv essential. What would be my best option on cheap... Or cheaper option anyway for my current situation. Keeping in mind would only need a cheap small banger of a car and I'm a student. Any heads up would be great on where to go or best car for me Thanks
I cant find cheap car insurance HELP?
im 60+ male i want to buy a car for 900 pounds but the insurance is 500+ ive not got a car yet but will be a small car not for work but for every day and only 13-1400 engine size im in the uk can you advise on cheap car insurance tanks
Car insurance!!?
i finally got my license , my dad is giving me his car and he has insurance but my name is not on the policy. can i still drive. Im leaving for vacation in two weeks so putting my name on the policy will just cost money for just two weeks. i won't be back for three months from vacation.""
Can you drive a parent's car without insurance in NYC?
My dad has a car with insurance on it, but my name is not on it. Is it legal for me to drive the car? I live in New York City, and I'm not worried about the risk of insurance not covering damages because my name is not on the insurance. I'm responsible 18 year-old and my parents suggest that I just drive the car since putting my name with the insurance would cost a fortune extra. I just need to know if it is legal. Thanks!""
Problem with Admiral car insurance... heeelp!!!!?
Hello Thank you for entering in my post I've been with Admiral insurance for more than 1 year, which is my 1st car insurance since I've been in England I've been driving for more than 12 years and I've never made a claim before it was a normal and clear day and i was going to work when I had an accident with a girl riding a moped It was a very silly accident, fortunatelly none was injured, and I only had a broken wind-mirrow, which is no more than 50 of damage I had to call Admiral, my insurer, to sort the problem out, I had no other choice Admiral told me I was not covered to go to work since on the policy agreement says: use for social, domestic and pleasure purposes only. And, according to them, to be covered, my policy had to be: use for social and COMMUNITY. So Community for them means, going to work, it is ridiculas but that's what i was told However they said we cover you, you will have to pay 23.74 extra and you will be covered, it was frustrating, a theft, but I let it go... The absurd story didn't even start yet! I gave Admiral all the details which the police had given to me the day of the accident plus some pictures of the scene, which I took before to leave that day Admiral sent an inspector who interwied me at my house. This inspector wrote a statement of 6 PAGES! about my accident, however, I need to say, he did a very good job On the statement states that none was injured and the fault lies with the moped rider, which is also what the police said on the scene. In addtion this inspector suggested to call my insurer again to finally get my car fixed. Admiral told me I will have to pay for the damage myself and, after all their investigation, if they find out it was not my fault, I can ask e refund for the damage, and they added that this investigation can take up to 3 years, so I will have my money back in 3 years! this is because according to them, the moper rider was injured This is absolutely incredible What would you suggest? I would like to get rid of this Admiral policy as soon possible, I would like to claim against it Who could I call to claim against Admiral? Any suggestion according this matter will be very apprecitive thank you in advance for your help""
What will my insurance roughly cost when I'm 19?
Hello, I'm 18 now and about to get my drivers license. I plan on getting a cheap car with low insurance the first year of driving for me. I always wanted a Mazda RX8 and I know that theres no chance of me getting insured for the car now so I was wondering when will it become affordable for me to get a Mazda RX8? Like for example what would you suggest my salary should be to realistically own that type of car in the UK? Thanks!""
Babies insurance please answer?
I have medicare (pregnancy) and I was wondering how does it cover the baby when he is born and what do I do to get his insurance and all that? Thank you.
Car insurance without deposit or low deposit?
hi im looking to insure mg mg zr but have little money till i get on the rd so i need an insurance company that will insure me today for no or very little deposit not 140 deposit and 11 installs of 80
How much (average) is health insurance for a family in America?
As I live in England where we have the NHS I was just curious how much health insurance is in America. Obviously I know that it depends on pre existing medical conditions, how old people are ect ect but let just say for average family of four, two parents and two children would health insurance cost. I was just wondering.""
Sued for Auto Accident Above Insurance Limit in NJ?
One year ago my wife was taking our daughter to pre-school turning left out the end of our road in to traffic, this road has a speed limit of 35 mph. Traffic had to stop to let her cross the first lane since it was solid cars, vans and small trucks. As she approached half-way, before getting a good view of oncoming traffic, another car took off the front bumper. Note that the center line is interuppted at the cross-junction. The bumper was torn from the front of the car with damage more evident on the non-impact side of the car than where initially hit, hence my wife had not initiated a turn, just edging forward to see. The radiator was in-tact, but damaged, still mounted to the front of the car. I walked to the site with our other child and took my daughter home; she is fine and I took her to school but still talks of the incident today. My wife stayed at the incident, and was fine (no later issues) keeping real calm and cooperating with police. It took about 2 hrs with police debating which town the incident took place (middle of the road is the divide) and the other driver was concerned about getting home to take a pot off the stove, but seemed medically fine. The driver asked me and the police to drive them home to get the pot off the stove and used my wifes cell phone more than once. They also wanted to drive their car home and leave the scene with a flat tire at one point I presume to attend to the pot. No tickets were issued, no air bags deployed. The other car had a flat front left tire and side damage so the drivers door was stuck shut. Both cars were old, so written off. Over a year later we received a court summons from their attorney and we are being sued for $750,000. Our limit is $100,000 on insurance. The plaintiff is claiming herniated discs and loss of bowel control. We have a 2006 no money down mortgage, so total equity is very much in the red since our home value plummeted. I have no umbrella policy. I am sole income, but was owner of the car my wife was driving. My wife is stay-at-home mom. The remaining $650,000 would be a big problem. Interestingly, we heard that the other driver called our insurance and asked for a >100-fold lower amount of money to just go away! Our insurer recalls this very clearly and did not pay. Questions: Should I invest in an attorney to work with our insurers attorney to cover the $650K over our limit? Do we have any case given the car the other driver may have been in a rush (as all were aware of the pot on the stove), would have settled for far less, and in reported safety tests should avoid an obstacle at 55mph let alone at the speed limit of 35 mph? Their case, as I understand, is to actually prove my wife was negligent, she was just trying to see. Reality and the law are complicated I understand. Our insurer is looking in to the validity of their medical claims. I believe for spinal and neck injuries plaintiffs have to follow careful insurance approved treatment plans in NJ. I know that such a condition may not be permanent with curative surgery possible to release the nerves that may be causing the bowel issue. The plaintiff has claimed the injury as permanent, do they need to prove this? Should we ask experts? The plaintiff lives in our town and their house is on my running route every other day. I have not noted anything at all and plan to stay away from all other parties. Should I change my running route? Thanks for any advice. Our 30 day clock is ticking.""
Is my car insurance in place.?
basically i applied for a car insurance and in the quote i put in a false licence held date as i only had my licence a month ago but i put in march 2012. They have taken the deposit of 300 already from my account so does that mean i got away with the lie about the licence held date and does that mean my insurance will be in place soon. I lied because i think insurance is cheaper if you have old licence. thanks
Hi a question about car insurance companies .thanks?
Hi how long do the car insurance companies keep record of the phone call because it is a good proof for the people who insure their car ? thanks
'95 Acura Integra insurance price?
I live in Texas and I amndering, what would the insurance cost a month for a Black Acura Integra. I am 17. Not exact price just a close estimate.""
What is the cheapest liability insurance in sacramento?
looking for auto liability. just to cover the basics. i'm shooting for 50 dollars or less per month.
Driving without Proof of Insurance?
I was recently stopped by a police officer for speeding and when giving him my license and proof of insurance he stated that my insurance had expired. I then received a $550 fine for not having insurance, but not for speeding. I do have insurance, but the proof of insurance is what expired (we searched everywhere and the cards that the insurance agency was supposed to send did not show up). My question, then, is what do I do about this? I was not aware that my proof of insurance had expired (again, not the insurance) and I was freaked out because this is the first time that I have ever gotten pulled over (I'm a college freshman and the car is in my grandmother's name, it was a grad gift) On the ticket do I contest the claim and go to court or do I admit the claim and go to court? What are the possible outcomes or what is most likely to happen?""
Selling a car with no insurance?
I am selling my car but have already cancelled my insurance policy. Can a potential buyer test drive my car on their insurance or does my car have to be insured separately?
Can I cancel car insurance before expiration date?
I got car insurance and paid a fee but the expiration date says it ends in one year, I paid for 1 month and now I need to get insurance from another company. Do I cancel the insurance I have now? if I dont will they charge me every month? Or should I just forget about it and let the ppl cancel me off.""
How much will your insurance go up by if you get a brand new car?
im thinking about getting a Honda civic 2012 and if my insurance is going to rise like by 100-150 $ im not going to get it but i was wondering how much will it rise by if a get a new car i also have been in minor accident and my insurance is about 250 one way and it is with statefarm im a toronto citizen so only in toronto prices
Does it matter who drives which car under the same insurance policy?
I have an 08 Toyota Corolla S and my dad has a 95 Toyota Pickup. I'm 19 and we're under the same policy with AAA. Would it make a difference in cost if they put me as the driver of the Corolla as opposed to the Pickup? If so about how much? Currently I'm with the Pickup and my dad's with the Corolla.
Moving to France - car insurance?
I am moving to France next week and will be taking my British registered car. I rang my insurers who told me that they would only insure me 'up to the ferry' and after that ...show more
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geico home insurance quote saved
What would be a good insurance for a 19 year old new driver?
Ok so heres the deal, Im 19 and looking to get a car for school. I go to school in upstate ny and wanna move off campus so i need one for transportation. What would be a good insurance company to go to for cheap insurance for student drivers? Im going to buy a used car off of craigslist, my mom doesnt drive and theres no option for going on a family members insurance. Im doing this all on my own, getting a car, paying insurance and all. Im looking on getting a 2001-04 mitsubishi eclipse or lancer just for an idea. But i dont wanna be stuck paying like 400 bucks insurance at geico or like statefarm, student driver discount my ***. Suggestions would be helpful, not a rant about how i have to think about insurance and gas and maintenence im well aware of all that, i wouldnt be getting a car if that. Thanks.""
How much would an insurance be a month for a 01 lexus Is300 for a guy thats 18 and first time driver..average?
How much would an insurance be a month for a 01 lexus Is300 for a guy thats 18 and first time driver..average?
Does not having license on you affect insurance?
My brother was returning home one evening last week and thought that the speed limit increased before it did, so he was pulled over for speeding. He was let off for that, but given a ticket because he didn't have his license on his person. He has one, but he left his wallet at home. Now he is worried this will affect his insurance. Does anyone know? Does he have a rap sheet or anything now? This is his first ticket. I have no experience with this now.""
Inifiniti G37 insurance for 18 year old?
Ok i live in new york and im 18 and a new driver.... i keep hearing that it would cost over 700 dollars a month to insure it ..... is that true ? i know there is alot of variables but i wanna know is it possible ?
Do illegal immigrants get health insurance?
What insurance and how?
Is affordable life insurance possible for someone over 70?
And from where can I get such insurance?
Can I drive my friends car without insurance?
Can I drive my friends car without insurance? I don't own a car. I don't have auto insurance. If I borrow a friends car, am I covered under his insurance? is there a special type of insurance for people like me?""
About how much will insurance increase if you lightly rear end a car but you just got your license at 16?
Someone i know has Geico insurance and turned sixteen in August. He got his license a few months ago and really lightly rear ended a car today. I mean you cant even tell its hit unless you analyze the back. So about how much do you think the insurance will go up?
""CAR QUESTION: If a car is registered in my name, will it be costly for my INSURANCE?""
I am 21 years old and I am planning to buy a used on so that it will not be expensive for my insurance. WHICH OF THESE IS BETTER: -Register the car with my name and pay like 3 thousand dollars for the insurance or. - Register it with the name of my Dad. If it is registered with my Dad's name in it, will that be cheaper to my insurance?""
If an insurance company never raised my premium from my DUI can they do it after 3 and a half years?
I am planning on buying a new car and my insurance company never raised my rates on my last vehicle after my DUI in feb 05. Progressive was 150% Higher than what I am paying now.. I have full coverage on my truck with a 250 ded.
Car insurance in America for non citizens on holiday?
I have a few questions about car insurance in America for non citizens. I am going to the USA this summer and will be driving alot.I have car insurance on my own car and have a full license and an international driving permit.Do i have to get insurance on the car in america or will my own insurance in ireland cover it or will i have to start another policy with an american company?Will this cost alot?My insurance here is not expensive and ive never been in an accident or made any claims.Is it possible to be put on my friends insurance as a driver and if so how much would this be cheaper then buying my own insurance?Any information would be great, i am very confused on the matter.""
How much would car insurance be for a vauxhall Astra VXR?
How much would a vauxhall astra VXR car insurance be for a 17 year old In the uk
Car Insurance?
I got a ticket 15 monthes ago and didn't told my parents, but they aren't that hard on me but the car insurance is going up now why is that.""
How much do you pay for car insurance?
These quotes are OUTRAGEOUS!
Do I need to have insurance or proof of insurance when renting a car?
I'm planning on making a trip to Chicago. I have been wanting to go on a road trip for a long time. And I am afraid of taking a bus or going on a plane. A plane ticket costs a little bit too much for me. I'm 21. I currently do not own a vehicle of my own. So I am considering renting a car. I'm just wondering if I have to have car insurance in order to rent a car. I've never done this, so I have no idea what kind of things are required in order for me to rent. I've got my driver's license and a clean driving record. I don't have a line of credit. I don't have any credit cards so I hope there's no credit checks involved. Also, what's a rental car service that you would recommend? One that is cheap, honest, reliable, etc. My budget is $300. I'm going to meet a friend in Bartlett who is going to help provide me with lodgings so my only expenses to consider besides the car, are fuel and food costs. Thanks.""
""Car Accident, how much should I expect from their insurance company?""
I was just in a car accident on Thursday. Its basically totalled my car. Two weeks before the accident, I just put $2345 into the transmission, $500 2 weeks before that, and another $500 about a month before that. Thats not to mention the $1000 I put in in 2006. It was a troubled car but with the transmission fixed, it should have been perfect. The other car hit me. I really was at no fault but the other car is a company car. The people driving don't own it. They also don't seem to be American Citizens. Here's my damage, Broken Axels, my tires leaning into the car dramatically, my tire is ripped, the driver door doesn't open, blinker is gone, just severely damage to the quarter panel, ETC I did have some injury, a seat belt burn, back and neck pain. What can I expect from the insurance company? Will they take into account the recent expensive work done on the car? Any ideas? A guess? I had a 99' Hyundai Elantra - now I have scrap metal.""
Teen Auto Insurance??????
I am just wondering what the teen drivers or parents of teen drives pay monthly or however you pay for insurance once the teen gets their license? I know there are alot of factors that contribute to how much a teen pays for insuracne but I am just curious. So basically how old are you?...and basically just how much does you or your teen pay for insurance, if they have a car what type? or if you are a parent, are they added on your policy, and still how much do you pay for insurance? Thanks :)""
Accident and auto insurance question?
If I get into a wreck that wasn't my fault without insurance and I come home and say go to safeauto.com and get insurance will I be able to claim that on the accident report? Will I be safe from losing my licence?
Health insurance options for low income adults?
I am currently putting my husband through school. Our household runs on my pay check alone. My children qualify for free insurance with healthwave,which we are very grateful for. but I was shocked to find that my husband and I don't qualify. There is no way in hell we can afford to buy our own health insurance so I was wondering if there are any other options for us.""
What are the top 5-10 cheapest car insurance?
And which one is the cheapest?
Car insurance question?
I just turned 16 and got my driving permit. I would be using my grandmothers car and she has erie insurance. My question is.. Am I allowed to practice driving on the car even without getting insurance? She insists that I'm not allowed to unless I get insurance but everyone else I know does it without. She thinks that I am going to get in a crash because I can't keep my room clean. (wtf?)
How much did your car insurance drop once you turned 25 yrs old?
Did you save 50%? 25%? Less? I noticed a significant drop when I turned 21 and saved about 40% then. What can I expect next year when I turn 25? Obviously it varies and will depend on if my driving record remains clean....just wanted to get some idea
Health Insurance question.?
I am recently married and have health insurance through my employer with aetna. We have yet to change her name over on the insurance as it is still in her maiden name. We recently found out she is pregnant. Before a doctors visit should we be making a call to get her name changed over? Is she still covered at all on my insurance?
Accident no insurance?
I was in a wreck today but it wasnt my fault my insurance is about a month late the other driver has insurance full coverage what is going to happen
How much on average is insurance for an audi a3 convertible?
How much on average is insurance for an audi a3 convertible?
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gattinarubia · 6 years
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1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i guess more milk than cereal
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yeah usually
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually i turn the corner unless it’s a really nice book - and then just like a scrap of paper
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? cream only
5: are you self-conscious of your smile? no
6: do you keep plants? yeah! their names are cheryl and lydia
7: do you name your plants? see above question hahaha
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? usually writing
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/stomach
11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? farts (haha jk “inner joke”)
12: what's your favorite planet? i’ve only ever been to the one. but maybe mars because people might go there 
13: what's something that made you smile today? yuri on ice
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? messy because of me? idk. i’m picturing separate rooms and a nice view
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! venus has a volcano that’s 4000 mi long
16: what's your favorite pasta dish? mac and cheese. followed by carbonara or bolognese
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i’m happy as a blonde, actually
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i traded a cigarette for a handful of koala cookies once
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? yeah. it’s mostly for when i’m traveling or stressed out. there’s a lot of calligraphy practice in it, too
20: what's your favorite eye color? on someone else, i’d have to say brown
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it’s a disgusting shit pile but i still use it because the outside looks okay
22: are you a morning person? yeah, actually
23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sit and work on projects and watch netflix
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yeah, i guess. i don’t have terrible secrets so it’s not really an issue
25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? the trip room at camp at night
26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? black boots i guess. or black flats. depending on the time of year
27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? juicy fruit or big red
28: sunrise or sunset? it totally depends
29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? always texts me to say thank you for letting him come by after he’s already left
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? umm yes.
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. none of them match, and half the time i can’t find a clean pair and just wear dirty ones. my mom loves socks and takes care of hers and struggles to understand me
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i have no idea where to start. i rode in an ambulance with a friend in my overalls one time.
33: what's your fave pastry? croissants aux amandes
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? it was a blanket. i called it blankie, it was white with pastel animal shapes and crocheted edges. i have no idea what happened to it.
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? omg YES. i’m obsessed with office supplies and pens especially.
36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? no idea. i’m not good at that stuff.
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i don’t like keeping it messy, but i do anyway
38: tell us about your pet peeves! really dumb grammar errors in scripted content (like double comparatives). also mispronouncing something really badly in one’s native language. i hate being called “little lady” (by anyone) or “sweetie” (by strangers). people who are always shushing people.
39: what color do you wear the most? black i guess. also blue.
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? i have a ring on my thumb. i told my grandma that i liked her ring and she gave it to me. i’ve only taken it off twice in 5 years
41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? ooooh tough question. Maurice. definitely read it. it’s so gay and beautiful
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! the one downstairs because a cute girl works there
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no idea. my brother, possibly.
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? i feel personally victimized by this question. honestly it’s been years.
45: do you trust your instincts a lot? a good bit
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. no.
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? none of them? idk, people need food. kale is pretty gross and useless. i’d have to go with whale meat, tiger meat, and elephant meat. don’t eat endangered animals, friends.
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? i think it was rejection and abandonment, much like now.
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? no, i haven’t bought a CD since 2010, and buying records is pretentious unless you’re oldish and have a nostalgic reason to buy them.
50: what's an odd thing you collect? my birds’ feathers
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? ... i don’t really work like that.
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? anything shitting on trump
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? all of them. i enjoy them usually.
54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself in the mirror lol -- no but seriously my mom talking about her mom’s alzheimers....
55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? probably had sex with someone. slapped someone. ate a cricket.
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? shyness, mothering tendencies, accents, unironic enthusiasm, touchy-ness, a funny laugh, self-deprecating humor
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i’m not going to do that. but i love that song, and i would have dramatically reenacted the lyrics
58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? i’m worried that i’m both.
59: what's your favorite myth? The Devi Shakti
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes. i love arthur rimbaud, oscar wilde, lady ise, and shakespeare (who wouldn’t like shakespeare?)
61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? gave someone a rock once. i got one of those crinkle shirts one time
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? not usually. but if i do, orange juice
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i leave them be
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? dark brown. nightime in the city
65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? plenty
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? i guess something with greenery and bleeding hearts on it
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? delightful
68: what's winter like where you live? cold and snowy (but more slushy the last couple of years)
69: what are your favorite board games? i prefer card games. but i like guess who and reversi
70: have you ever used a ouija board? yeah
71: what's your favorite kind of tea? chai
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? not necessarily
73: what are some of your worst habits? biting my nails, being late, interrupting my brother when he’s talking
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. friendly smile, worrywart, dumb jokes, caring, gregarious, anxious
75: tell us about your pets! i have two birds, a fish, and a tarantula. my birds are my beautiful angels.
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? always. but it’s nighttime so nothing major.
77: pink or yellow lemonade? no preference. they taste the same.
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? i’m in the i-don’t-care club
79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? a boy i used to nanny drew me a picture to make me feel better about my bird dying - he drew about her being alive and flying around.
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? grey. no. i live in an apartment. i could paint the walls but i don’t really care.
81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. no, this isn’t creative writing class.
82: are/were you good in school? yeah, pretty good.
83: what's some of your favorite album art? i haven’t bought an album since 2010
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? yes. triskelion, and camp symbol. i just haven’t decided where i want them.
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? yeah! archie and buffy
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no?
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? jeez idk. some documentaries probably. 
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? romanticism for some reason
89: are you close to your parents? yeah, i’d say so.
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. awkwardly worded but sure. Chicago is delightful because the people are nice, the views are pretty, and we have all the best comedians.
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? mexico.
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drown it. make it 90% cheese.
93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? down.
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? some facebook friends
95: what are your plans for this weekend? it just ended. no idea about next weekend. i might decide to drop acid.
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate for weeks.
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? i’ve never been consistent on myer briggs, gemini, ravenpuff
98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? it’s been a while. but i love it.
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Bees by Laura Cantrell, Over the Sea by Bec Sandridge, More than Life by Whitley, Cooke by Modern Baseball - a bunch of others
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? past. i’d make different choices.
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Podcast: A Bipolar and a Schizophrenic Get Triggered by a Movie

We all realize that movies are fiction, but that doesn’t mean that we should take nothing seriously. When a movie makes a portrayal of an individual, for example, that’s full of racial stereotypes, we’re justified in saying that it isn’t okay. 
It’s no different for portrayals of mental illness. In this episode, Gabe and Michelle discuss just such a portrayal in a movie that Michelle found highly offensive. Listen to see if you agree.
SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW
“This is just another way to dismiss our feelings.” – Gabe Howard
  Highlights From ‘Schizophrenia in the Movies’ Episode
[1:00] Michelle has been triggered by an 8-year-old movie called “The Roommate.”
[5:00] Discussing why this movie makes no sense.
[6:30] How Gabe and Michelle handle talking about medications.
[10:00] Why did this movie make Michelle feel so offended?
[12:00] Why this movie is bad for the mental health system.
[16:30] Movies that show mental illness in a good way.
[19:00] How people interpret movies with mentally ill characters.
Transcript From ‘Schizophrenia in the Movies’ Episode
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Narrator: [00:00:09] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here your hosts Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer
Gabe: [00:00:18] Hello everybody and welcome to a bipolar a schizophrenic and a podcast. My name is Gabe and I’m the bipolar one.
Michelle: [00:00:24] Hi Michelle I’m the schizophrenic one and the better one.
Gabe: [00:00:27] The better one really.
Michelle: [00:00:29] The better one.
Gabe: [00:00:29] Right before we started recording. You told me that you were the hot one because I was a…
Michelle: [00:00:34] Not hot one.
Gabe: [00:00:35] No you called me a fat ass.
Michelle: [00:00:36] No I didn’t. Why are you going to say that? I never called you a fat ass.
Gabe: [00:00:39] Your exact words were, You were a fat ass that needs to go to the gym.
Michelle: [00:00:42] No.
Gabe: [00:00:43] That’s hurtful.
Michelle: [00:00:44] That’s so mean. I would never say that.
Gabe: [00:00:46] Speaking of mean things that people would never say that often get said, Michelle you were triggered by an 8-year-old movie.
Michelle: [00:00:53] Oh my God. I can’t believe but that was some segue Gabe. I really like hated that.
Gabe: [00:00:57] I mean it’s our way.
Michelle: [00:00:58] It’s really. That was smooth. That was real slick. Well okay, my friend. Okay. I’m watching a movie. My friends says “Oh we gotta watch this movie, The Roommate. The Roommate is such a good movie. It’s like kind of freaky it’s kind of weird. We should so watch the movie The Roommate.” So I’m gonna watch the movie The Roommate. Okay.
Gabe: [00:01:19] How many times you gonna say roommate.
Michelle: [00:01:21] I’m just gonna the roommate not through the roommate.
Gabe: [00:01:24] You know, listen, the audience understands that you watched a movie and it was called The Roommate. You can carry on okay.
Michelle: [00:01:31] Here is here’s the little a trailer description – when college freshman Sarah arrives on campus for the first time, she befriends her roommate Rebecca, unaware that the girl is becoming dangerously obsessed with her. So Rebecca seems to have some issues. She’s becoming very obsessed with her roommate Sarah. She’s scaring away Sarah’s friends that are getting in between their relationship. She even goes as far to killing her ex-boyfriend.  And at one point you’d meet her parents and then you hear her mother or father one of them says Rebecca. You been taking your medicine? And then all of a sudden I was like, interesting. What is this movie really about? So then the roommate Sarah who is being stalked, they go through her drawers and they find a bottle of pills. No, I didn’t see what it said on the pill box, but then they go to the computer. And you know how in movies they usually make up different pills names like we do for the show? But they didn’t it in this movie. They go into like Google search or whatever and search for a pill name. And guess what it was? Something that I take.
Gabe: [00:02:46] Oh my God. So wait are you Rebecca?
Michelle: [00:02:50] No but I’ve never been more offended because they used the antipsychotic that I take. They look it up and they go Oh my God it says this pill’s used for the treatment of bipolar or schizophrenia. Oh no. And all the sudden I was like, oh my goodness. This has got to be one of the most offensive things I’ve ever watched.
Gabe: [00:03:12] Wait wait wait hang on. It was for the treatment of bipolar and schizophrenia that they’re now I’m a offended.
Michelle: [00:03:17] Now you’re a offended.
Gabe: [00:03:18] Yeah. What it was just about you I was like oh you’re overreacting. But since they actually said bipolar and this is this is this will not stand this. This is bullshit.
Michelle: [00:03:27] I know and it had Leighton Meester in it also and I liked her.
Gabe: [00:03:31] I can’t believe that this movie has existed for eight years without our rage.
Michelle: [00:03:34] I don’t want to watch a movie made eight years ago about a girl with bipolar or schizophrenia that isn’t taking her antipsychotic because maybe we can make roommate the roommate too. I’ll stop taking my antipsychotic and then people can look in the drawer and find that pill and see that I’ve not been taking it and Google it.
Gabe: [00:03:57] And just like that and just life comes to a head. Let’s do explore this for a moment. I mean just in case the podcast doesn’t work out because I suspect that you would be the killer and that I would be the victim but it wouldn’t have anything to do with your schizophrenia. It would more have to do with us being locked in a room for hours on end with recording equipment and at what can be called the podcast.
Michelle: [00:04:24] The podcast.
Gabe: [00:04:25] Right. Yeah but you’ve got to say it like in that voice that you use to describe the roommate.
Michelle: [00:04:28] The podcast. Oh I have to add I was watching this movie at night so after before I went to bed I made sure to take that pill. So I did not kill my roommate that night.
Michelle: [00:04:40] First let’s address a couple of things right out of the bat. Obviously you have not been on this particular medication for your entire life.
Michelle: [00:04:47] No.
Gabe: [00:04:48] So before you took that pill did you want to murder anybody.
Michelle: [00:04:52] No.
Gabe: [00:04:53] Okay. And do you honestly believe that if you stopped taking that pill tomorrow you would start killing people.
Michelle: [00:04:59] Absolutely not.
Gabe: [00:05:00] And to further drive this point into the ground. There are plenty of people that become obsessed with their friends roommates spouses boyfriends girlfriends that have no mental illness or schizophrenia. They just cray.
Michelle: [00:05:18] Yes.
Gabe: [00:05:19] Yeah. I mean listen I do in fact have bipolar disorder but you know I was a teenager once and I know it’s hard to separate out you know bipolar Gabe from actual Gabe but I do believe that you know the reason that I spent my prom night crying is because that lady dumped me and I was sad and I hated her new jock boyfriend and probably not because I was bipolar. I think this is just like a standard thing that happens to.
Michelle: [00:05:44] Understandable.
Michelle: [00:05:44] I would say that’s understandable. I get it. Yeah. Yeah.
Gabe: [00:05:48] So but the fact that I had bipolar disorder and wasn’t yet medicated didn’t make me kill anybody. I mean just. Right. And I’ve never been violent and I’ve never had the urge to kill people even though I to take a psychiatric medication. And this of course offends us because now people are looking at us like uh oh if Gabe and Michelle stopped taking their meds we’re going to be.
Michelle: [00:06:10] Killers.
Gabe: [00:06:12] Yes.
Gabe: [00:06:15] Michelle I am so sorry that you had to watch Netflix at home while not working. I mean I’m so sorry you had to go through this experience with this movie but doesn’t it suck. I mean it doesn’t media.
Michelle: [00:06:25] I just couldn’t believe. They used our real medication name right.
Gabe: [00:06:30] Do you remember the episode where we talked about side effects of medication.
Michelle: [00:06:34] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:06:34] And what did I name the medication that that helped fix.
Michelle: [00:06:39] Dicks-A-Poppin.
Gabe: [00:06:40] Right. We had Dicks-A-Poppin in which was the I guess you know E.D. medicine because it cured the medical diagnosis of.
Michelle: [00:06:48] Dicks-A-Floppin.
Gabe: [00:06:49] Yeah. We got nothing right on that. Doesn’t it bother you though. Look we all know it bothers us. We don’t need to be coy but we try to be responsible with this show. We’re not Hollywood as much as we have tried to delude ourselves into saying that we have millions upon millions of fans. We don’t.
Michelle: [00:07:07] I’ve never deluded myself to that. Maybe that’s just you.
Gabe: [00:07:11] Listen I believe that there are millions of people we just can’t track them because one person downloads it and then plays it in front of a live auditorium stealing our thunder. I know this happens.
Michelle: [00:07:21] Obviously you’re off the meds.
Michelle: [00:07:24] You’re on the meds and you’re in a stalk somebody and you’re going to be obsessed to them and you’re going to you’re going to kill their ex-boyfriend.
Gabe: [00:07:32] This is not the only movie that you have ever seen in your life that has to do with.
Michelle: [00:07:39] I’ve seen many a movie in many a Disney movie in my life.
Gabe: [00:07:43] Oh well Disney movies I’m fairly certain are all about mental illness.
Michelle: [00:07:48] Well I mean I was flying a magic carpet.
Gabe: [00:07:50] Magic carpet ride.
Gabe: [00:07:53] Michelle this is not the first pop culture portrayal of mental illness that we’ve ever seen. It sounds like this one bothered you so much because it hits so close to home. You are a woman you have a roommate and you’re on this exact same medication. So if you start acting in a way that people don’t like they can easily say Oh it’s because of the medication rather than address with you whatever this is just another way to dismiss our feelings that that’s kind of how I see it.
Michelle: [00:08:27] I completely agree with you because they were just saying Oh she’s off her meds. That’s why she’s crazy. Like why isn’t she seeing a therapist?
Gabe: [00:08:36] Well why are you asking me for it and write the damn thing.
Michelle: [00:08:38] I don’t know who wrote this movie? I’m going to look it up. I’m sending them an email.
Gabe: [00:08:44] Really.
Michelle: [00:08:45] Whoever wrote this movie.
Michelle: [00:08:46] This writer Sunny Molly I’m writing you an e-mail Sunny Molly.
Gabe: [00:08:53] You should probably learn to pronounce his name.
Michelle: [00:08:55] Whatever your name is. Sunny Molly. Well I never heard of you in anything else but you might have done other stuff. You wrote a very insulting movie.
Gabe: [00:09:06] Now is it insulting or is it insensitive.
Michelle: [00:09:11] No it is insulting. I was just so insulted.
Michelle: [00:09:15] I was really really insulted because I’m watching the movie with somebody I see that I go Oh that’s my medicine. Oh now the person that I am with is thinking oh is that going to happen to you if you stop taking your medicine. I was seriously asked that in that moment.
Gabe: [00:09:32] Were you offended that the killer was a woman.
Michelle: [00:09:37] No.
Gabe: [00:09:37] But you’re also a woman.
Michelle: [00:09:38] Why would I care.
Michelle: [00:09:39] There’s many women in the world. There’s not as many people who take that medication. And I felt singled out.
Gabe: [00:09:48] It’s not that the killer was a female or a young female or even a young white female. It’s that she was a schizophrenic. Taking a medicine that you take an antipsychotic medication and then it pulled in the trope of if you don’t take your medicine you will become violent.
Michelle: [00:10:04] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:10:04] And all of that connected for people because of their own biases misunderstanding and ignorance. To then look over at you and try to draw a parallel where before you watch the movie that didn’t exist. Right. Like in your friend group because you watched a movie you were now looked down upon.
Michelle: [00:10:23] Yeah well I was asked oh if you don’t take that well things like that happen.
Gabe: [00:10:28] We’ll be right back after we hear from our sponsor.
Narrator: [00:10:31] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.
Michelle: [00:11:02] Hey everyone, we wanted to tell you about Emergency Dentists USA — they love the show and wanted us to give them a shout out. Emergency Dentists USA is a 24-hour dental referral service that specializes in finding emergency dentists who accept patients with no insurance and offer low-interest payment plans.  We are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even on holidays.  Our staff is knowledgeable and friendly and can find local, emergency dentists in your area, for any dental emergency you may face. Visit them online and now back to the show.
Gabe: [00:11:44] I think that there’s another side that we need to talk about as well which is let’s say that you are a young woman with schizophrenia and you see this movie and then a doctor tries to prescribe you that medication.
Michelle: [00:11:53] Good point.
Gabe: [00:11:54] You’re going to say look I don’t want that. I’m not violent. That movie stops killers. I’m not a killer so I need a different medication. And now you’re going to resist to the treatment all because you don’t want to be lumped in with a fictional movie. Let me back up for a second. I just have to say this. I want to say this to the whole world. You can you can clip this out of the podcast and play it for everybody.
Gabe: [00:12:14] Listen animals don’t talk. People can’t fly. There’s no such thing as superheroes. We all understand how fiction works in movies for almost every other thing but for whatever reason whenever there’s any mentally ill character we suddenly think that Hollywood is producing a documentary about our lives and saying this is what mentally ill people act like. Really.
Michelle: [00:12:38] Did I ever tell you the time there was like somebody was writing a film in L.A. that film on schizophrenia and they wanted me to like talk to the lead actress and they wanted me to read the scripts and everything. The lead actress like I spoke to her she calls me and all she’s saying is that like oh tell me your story. And I was like Well do you do you know anything like you know about schizophrenia how to act like it. She’s like Oh well I’m like a really good actress. And I’m like Well do you know any mannerisms of people with schizophrenia. You know how they act. And she just was like blew the whole thing off like oh she goes that I was like you know a lot of people with schizophrenia don’t really usually let people in the eye that often just Oh no really. But we’re on Face Time you’re looking at me in the eye and I’m like well we’re on the phone right now. And she just wasn’t even understanding what she would have to be playing if she was playing a schizophrenic person. She just wanted to hear my story and not learn anything from me. And then when the person who had set us up to talk when she e-mailed me can you read our script and tell us how it sounds. I said I don’t want to read your script for free. I work as a mental health advocate and my time is money as well. If you would like me to read your script and you’re trying to support people with mental health issues it would be really nice if you could compensate me and the woman said I completely understand. I’ll talk to the director. The email ceased. Never again. End of it never. Never heard it from them again.
Gabe: [00:14:00] This is a real problem in our circles where people don’t want to gain the right information and if they even make a cursory attempt they want to get it for free. And listen you get what you pay for. And I have no idea if this particular movie “The roommate” hired anybody to talk about mental health mental illness you know chances are look it’s a horror movie that it sounds like it wasn’t very popular because I never even heard of it. So the good news is it didn’t do that much damage because only like 11 people saw this but I get it. Nobody seems to want to understand what it’s like to live with mental illness and portray it in any manner that is even remotely realistic in popular culture and what’s even worse is that the people watching it for whatever reason have decided that it contains factual information. It’s just a story you know and it’s not good or bad or otherwise it’s just fiction. And I wish that people could understand that it’s fiction. We we must make so much progress that people would be like look that’s a fictional portrayal of somebody with schizophrenia.
Michelle: [00:15:10] It’s almost as though people like to make those fictional things up because they want to make sure that they aren’t like that.
Gabe: [00:15:17] Oh sure.
Michelle: [00:15:18] I’m not crazy. They’re crazy. See what crazy looks like. That’s a crazy it looks like and that’s not me.
Gabe: [00:15:23] There you go. Oh and see that’s even scary as well because again back to the point that I made earlier. Let’s say that you’re watching this movie and you’re watching this woman with schizophrenia kill people become obsessed be you know just just weird the way her family is acting around her of course she murders somebody that’s a whole thing.
Michelle: [00:15:40] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:15:40] And then somebody diagnoses you as schizophrenic. You’re like huh no no I’ve never been obsessed. I’m not like you just on and on and on you’re like Let’s listen. I’ve seen what schizophrenia looks like again in a fictional portrayal. And I’ve decided to get some sort of factual basis out of this. And you know this is how we end up with you know politicians that don’t understand facts because they watch some movie about the army and they think they’re generals so it’s not just mental illness.
Gabe: [00:16:10] It just our podcast just happens to be about mental illness. If we switch over to the political spectrum boy do we have some movies that piss us off.
Michelle: [00:16:18] Let’s not even go there.
Gabe: [00:16:22] What are we going to do.
Michelle: [00:16:23] We have nothing to do.
Gabe: [00:16:24] We got nothing to do.
Gabe: [00:16:26] What are some movies that portray somebody with schizophrenia correctly. Do you even know of any.
Michelle: [00:16:32] No.
Gabe: [00:16:34] In the bipolar space.
Gabe: [00:16:35] There are a couple of movies that get close and the most popular one in the most recent one is “Silver Linings Playbook” and I just bring this up to show that Hollywood I think is learning. They are. They are trying you know a horror movie. They sensationalize everything. So you know in fairness and I’m not trying to insult your friends that the fact that they even watched this movie and looked at you that’s kind of insulting. Looks at it. It’s one you know it’s a movie, two you know movies or fiction and three really really?
Michelle: [00:17:04] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:17:04] Like what’s your question again dumbass ass so I get it I get it but I do think that Hollywood is trying. I mean I know that the group didn’t want to pay you but at least they made a cursory attempt that that was that was more than nothing. And to go back to Silver Linings Playbook it wasn’t a bad portrayal. It’s still a fictional movie and I want I want to let people know that if they run out and watch the movie I don’t want them to say hey a man that lives with bipolar disorder said that that was spot on. It wasn’t spot on but it was it was really close and frankly it was it was close enough that for a fictional representation it really didn’t offend me that that really could be somebody’s life with bipolar.
Michelle: [00:17:55] Do you go jogging with a with a trash bag around you.
Gabe: [00:17:58] Listen I don’t. But it’s not the trash bag part.
Michelle: [00:18:01] It’s the jogging.
Gabe: [00:18:07] That I just I just end right there.
Gabe: [00:18:09] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not everybody with bipolar disorder wears a trash bag or jogs. Yeah. Yeah. I’m not saying that I’ve never woke up with a trash bag around my neck.
Michelle: [00:18:24] That’s †he next shirt you should sell Trash Bag Chic trash bag.
Michelle: [00:18:28] Yeah I think it’ll look good.
Gabe: [00:18:30] But there were parts of it that really did speak to me the confusion the manic energy him waking up his family in the middle of the night because he got excited about something the desperation to repeat things the way his family had to make apologies for him because he woke up the neighborhood the way he couldn’t let things go.
Gabe: [00:18:48] These were things that that are very stereotypical of somebody who lives with untreated bipolar disorder and they kind of covered that decently saying that he wasn’t necessarily under a lot of control. He didn’t necessarily have the best treatment but ultimately and this is something that I want everybody to know even if that was a documentary even if that was complete fact even if every single thing that happened in Silver Linings Playbook was true and happened exactly like that. That doesn’t mean that that’s how everyone with bipolar disorder behaves.
Michelle: [00:19:23] True.
Gabe: [00:19:23] That means that’s how that dude behaves. So I think we need to get over that as well. It really bothers me that people were like Hey I saw a woman in a movie and now I know how women act or I saw an African-American male in a movie. So that’s how all African-Americans act or you know just on and on and on. But we think this is a society so on the plus side.
Michelle: [00:19:46] It’s just stereotypes.
Michelle: [00:19:47] Yes it’s everyone just making a stereotype.
Gabe: [00:19:49] Stereotypes are the shorthand of the lazy. I don’t want to take the time to get to know you. So I will just figure out whatever stereotype I can and declare my knowledge of you complete and that’s just.
Michelle: [00:20:02] That’s just ignorance.
Gabe: [00:20:03] It’s straight up ignorant and it’s lazy and it’s bullshit and it robs you of getting to know real people.
Michelle: [00:20:10] Some people aren’t worth getting to know.
Gabe: [00:20:12] Well but you won’t know that until you get to know them. Listen when I first met you, you yelled cock ring at the top of your lungs. All right. If I would have been like all right we’ve got a tiny little schizophrenic yelling cock ring I don’t want to be friends with her anymore.
Gabe: [00:20:25] This whole podcast.
Gabe: [00:20:26] I was not yelling cock ring at the top of my lungs. You say that all the time you always bring that up is yelling cock ring. I had a ring I had a ring and what was actually a ring it was a ring that my friend who is a sculpture artist sculpted out of wire a penis on a ring.
Michelle: [00:20:48] So I was calling it a cock ring.
Gabe: [00:20:50] Loudly.
Michelle: [00:20:52] Everyone was asking me about it.
Gabe: [00:20:54] You are a dick on your finger
Michelle: [00:20:57] Whatever it was my ring.
Gabe: [00:20:59] You Know.
Michelle: [00:20:59] I got a lot of comments on that ring.
Gabe: [00:21:01] Yeah no shit. Most people do not wear genitalia on their finger when they meet business people for the first time.
Michelle: [00:21:09] I stopped wearing it after a week because I was getting too many looks OK but if you weren’t that ring hit me up I’ll get one made for you. I think our final thoughts for today is if you’re going to make a movie about a girl with a mental illness don’t pick an actual medication’s name make up a name use that and if you’re going to watch a movie with some friends and before you ask your friend or really dumb question just just just think twice.
Gabe: [00:21:43] Just think twice maybe just think it all like I don’t know I don’t think there was a first thought.
Michelle: [00:21:46] I mean if you’ve known your friend for like over a year Don’t ask a question based on a movie you just saw that came out in 2011.
Gabe: [00:21:55] You know it’s gonna be awesome if you and your friend are not friends after this podcast. It means your friend was good enough to listen to the show that you’re hosting. So that’s just going to be a real travesty. Thank you everybody for tuning into this week’s episode of a bipolar a schizophrenic and a podcast. Please head over to store.PychCentral.com by our Define Normal shirt. We are almost out of them and once they are gone they are probably gone forever.
Gabe: [00:22:21] Also radios everywhere share tell your friends. Michelle and I are on a course with destiny and your
Michelle: [00:22:28] Roommates.
Narrator: [00:22:30] You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself. Head on over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app. Subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. The show’s official Web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and share widely.
  Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts
GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.
  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.
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Podcast: A Bipolar and a Schizophrenic Get Triggered by a Movie

We all realize that movies are fiction, but that doesn’t mean that we should take nothing seriously. When a movie makes a portrayal of an individual, for example, that’s full of racial stereotypes, we’re justified in saying that it isn’t okay. 
It’s no different for portrayals of mental illness. In this episode, Gabe and Michelle discuss just such a portrayal in a movie that Michelle found highly offensive. Listen to see if you agree.
SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW
“This is just another way to dismiss our feelings.” – Gabe Howard
  Highlights From ‘Schizophrenia in the Movies’ Episode
[1:00] Michelle has been triggered by an 8-year-old movie called “The Roommate.”
[5:00] Discussing why this movie makes no sense.
[6:30] How Gabe and Michelle handle talking about medications.
[10:00] Why did this movie make Michelle feel so offended?
[12:00] Why this movie is bad for the mental health system.
[16:30] Movies that show mental illness in a good way.
[19:00] How people interpret movies with mentally ill characters.
Transcript From ‘Schizophrenia in the Movies’ Episode
Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Narrator: [00:00:09] For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here your hosts Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer
Gabe: [00:00:18] Hello everybody and welcome to a bipolar a schizophrenic and a podcast. My name is Gabe and I’m the bipolar one.
Michelle: [00:00:24] Hi Michelle I’m the schizophrenic one and the better one.
Gabe: [00:00:27] The better one really.
Michelle: [00:00:29] The better one.
Gabe: [00:00:29] Right before we started recording. You told me that you were the hot one because I was a…
Michelle: [00:00:34] Not hot one.
Gabe: [00:00:35] No you called me a fat ass.
Michelle: [00:00:36] No I didn’t. Why are you going to say that? I never called you a fat ass.
Gabe: [00:00:39] Your exact words were, You were a fat ass that needs to go to the gym.
Michelle: [00:00:42] No.
Gabe: [00:00:43] That’s hurtful.
Michelle: [00:00:44] That’s so mean. I would never say that.
Gabe: [00:00:46] Speaking of mean things that people would never say that often get said, Michelle you were triggered by an 8-year-old movie.
Michelle: [00:00:53] Oh my God. I can’t believe but that was some segue Gabe. I really like hated that.
Gabe: [00:00:57] I mean it’s our way.
Michelle: [00:00:58] It’s really. That was smooth. That was real slick. Well okay, my friend. Okay. I’m watching a movie. My friends says “Oh we gotta watch this movie, The Roommate. The Roommate is such a good movie. It’s like kind of freaky it’s kind of weird. We should so watch the movie The Roommate.” So I’m gonna watch the movie The Roommate. Okay.
Gabe: [00:01:19] How many times you gonna say roommate.
Michelle: [00:01:21] I’m just gonna the roommate not through the roommate.
Gabe: [00:01:24] You know, listen, the audience understands that you watched a movie and it was called The Roommate. You can carry on okay.
Michelle: [00:01:31] Here is here’s the little a trailer description – when college freshman Sarah arrives on campus for the first time, she befriends her roommate Rebecca, unaware that the girl is becoming dangerously obsessed with her. So Rebecca seems to have some issues. She’s becoming very obsessed with her roommate Sarah. She’s scaring away Sarah’s friends that are getting in between their relationship. She even goes as far to killing her ex-boyfriend.  And at one point you’d meet her parents and then you hear her mother or father one of them says Rebecca. You been taking your medicine? And then all of a sudden I was like, interesting. What is this movie really about? So then the roommate Sarah who is being stalked, they go through her drawers and they find a bottle of pills. No, I didn’t see what it said on the pill box, but then they go to the computer. And you know how in movies they usually make up different pills names like we do for the show? But they didn’t it in this movie. They go into like Google search or whatever and search for a pill name. And guess what it was? Something that I take.
Gabe: [00:02:46] Oh my God. So wait are you Rebecca?
Michelle: [00:02:50] No but I’ve never been more offended because they used the antipsychotic that I take. They look it up and they go Oh my God it says this pill’s used for the treatment of bipolar or schizophrenia. Oh no. And all the sudden I was like, oh my goodness. This has got to be one of the most offensive things I’ve ever watched.
Gabe: [00:03:12] Wait wait wait hang on. It was for the treatment of bipolar and schizophrenia that they’re now I’m a offended.
Michelle: [00:03:17] Now you’re a offended.
Gabe: [00:03:18] Yeah. What it was just about you I was like oh you’re overreacting. But since they actually said bipolar and this is this is this will not stand this. This is bullshit.
Michelle: [00:03:27] I know and it had Leighton Meester in it also and I liked her.
Gabe: [00:03:31] I can’t believe that this movie has existed for eight years without our rage.
Michelle: [00:03:34] I don’t want to watch a movie made eight years ago about a girl with bipolar or schizophrenia that isn’t taking her antipsychotic because maybe we can make roommate the roommate too. I’ll stop taking my antipsychotic and then people can look in the drawer and find that pill and see that I’ve not been taking it and Google it.
Gabe: [00:03:57] And just like that and just life comes to a head. Let’s do explore this for a moment. I mean just in case the podcast doesn’t work out because I suspect that you would be the killer and that I would be the victim but it wouldn’t have anything to do with your schizophrenia. It would more have to do with us being locked in a room for hours on end with recording equipment and at what can be called the podcast.
Michelle: [00:04:24] The podcast.
Gabe: [00:04:25] Right. Yeah but you’ve got to say it like in that voice that you use to describe the roommate.
Michelle: [00:04:28] The podcast. Oh I have to add I was watching this movie at night so after before I went to bed I made sure to take that pill. So I did not kill my roommate that night.
Michelle: [00:04:40] First let’s address a couple of things right out of the bat. Obviously you have not been on this particular medication for your entire life.
Michelle: [00:04:47] No.
Gabe: [00:04:48] So before you took that pill did you want to murder anybody.
Michelle: [00:04:52] No.
Gabe: [00:04:53] Okay. And do you honestly believe that if you stopped taking that pill tomorrow you would start killing people.
Michelle: [00:04:59] Absolutely not.
Gabe: [00:05:00] And to further drive this point into the ground. There are plenty of people that become obsessed with their friends roommates spouses boyfriends girlfriends that have no mental illness or schizophrenia. They just cray.
Michelle: [00:05:18] Yes.
Gabe: [00:05:19] Yeah. I mean listen I do in fact have bipolar disorder but you know I was a teenager once and I know it’s hard to separate out you know bipolar Gabe from actual Gabe but I do believe that you know the reason that I spent my prom night crying is because that lady dumped me and I was sad and I hated her new jock boyfriend and probably not because I was bipolar. I think this is just like a standard thing that happens to.
Michelle: [00:05:44] Understandable.
Michelle: [00:05:44] I would say that’s understandable. I get it. Yeah. Yeah.
Gabe: [00:05:48] So but the fact that I had bipolar disorder and wasn’t yet medicated didn’t make me kill anybody. I mean just. Right. And I’ve never been violent and I’ve never had the urge to kill people even though I to take a psychiatric medication. And this of course offends us because now people are looking at us like uh oh if Gabe and Michelle stopped taking their meds we’re going to be.
Michelle: [00:06:10] Killers.
Gabe: [00:06:12] Yes.
Gabe: [00:06:15] Michelle I am so sorry that you had to watch Netflix at home while not working. I mean I’m so sorry you had to go through this experience with this movie but doesn’t it suck. I mean it doesn’t media.
Michelle: [00:06:25] I just couldn’t believe. They used our real medication name right.
Gabe: [00:06:30] Do you remember the episode where we talked about side effects of medication.
Michelle: [00:06:34] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:06:34] And what did I name the medication that that helped fix.
Michelle: [00:06:39] Dicks-A-Poppin.
Gabe: [00:06:40] Right. We had Dicks-A-Poppin in which was the I guess you know E.D. medicine because it cured the medical diagnosis of.
Michelle: [00:06:48] Dicks-A-Floppin.
Gabe: [00:06:49] Yeah. We got nothing right on that. Doesn’t it bother you though. Look we all know it bothers us. We don’t need to be coy but we try to be responsible with this show. We’re not Hollywood as much as we have tried to delude ourselves into saying that we have millions upon millions of fans. We don’t.
Michelle: [00:07:07] I’ve never deluded myself to that. Maybe that’s just you.
Gabe: [00:07:11] Listen I believe that there are millions of people we just can’t track them because one person downloads it and then plays it in front of a live auditorium stealing our thunder. I know this happens.
Michelle: [00:07:21] Obviously you’re off the meds.
Michelle: [00:07:24] You’re on the meds and you’re in a stalk somebody and you’re going to be obsessed to them and you’re going to you’re going to kill their ex-boyfriend.
Gabe: [00:07:32] This is not the only movie that you have ever seen in your life that has to do with.
Michelle: [00:07:39] I’ve seen many a movie in many a Disney movie in my life.
Gabe: [00:07:43] Oh well Disney movies I’m fairly certain are all about mental illness.
Michelle: [00:07:48] Well I mean I was flying a magic carpet.
Gabe: [00:07:50] Magic carpet ride.
Gabe: [00:07:53] Michelle this is not the first pop culture portrayal of mental illness that we’ve ever seen. It sounds like this one bothered you so much because it hits so close to home. You are a woman you have a roommate and you’re on this exact same medication. So if you start acting in a way that people don’t like they can easily say Oh it’s because of the medication rather than address with you whatever this is just another way to dismiss our feelings that that’s kind of how I see it.
Michelle: [00:08:27] I completely agree with you because they were just saying Oh she’s off her meds. That’s why she’s crazy. Like why isn’t she seeing a therapist?
Gabe: [00:08:36] Well why are you asking me for it and write the damn thing.
Michelle: [00:08:38] I don’t know who wrote this movie? I’m going to look it up. I’m sending them an email.
Gabe: [00:08:44] Really.
Michelle: [00:08:45] Whoever wrote this movie.
Michelle: [00:08:46] This writer Sunny Molly I’m writing you an e-mail Sunny Molly.
Gabe: [00:08:53] You should probably learn to pronounce his name.
Michelle: [00:08:55] Whatever your name is. Sunny Molly. Well I never heard of you in anything else but you might have done other stuff. You wrote a very insulting movie.
Gabe: [00:09:06] Now is it insulting or is it insensitive.
Michelle: [00:09:11] No it is insulting. I was just so insulted.
Michelle: [00:09:15] I was really really insulted because I’m watching the movie with somebody I see that I go Oh that’s my medicine. Oh now the person that I am with is thinking oh is that going to happen to you if you stop taking your medicine. I was seriously asked that in that moment.
Gabe: [00:09:32] Were you offended that the killer was a woman.
Michelle: [00:09:37] No.
Gabe: [00:09:37] But you’re also a woman.
Michelle: [00:09:38] Why would I care.
Michelle: [00:09:39] There’s many women in the world. There’s not as many people who take that medication. And I felt singled out.
Gabe: [00:09:48] It’s not that the killer was a female or a young female or even a young white female. It’s that she was a schizophrenic. Taking a medicine that you take an antipsychotic medication and then it pulled in the trope of if you don’t take your medicine you will become violent.
Michelle: [00:10:04] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:10:04] And all of that connected for people because of their own biases misunderstanding and ignorance. To then look over at you and try to draw a parallel where before you watch the movie that didn’t exist. Right. Like in your friend group because you watched a movie you were now looked down upon.
Michelle: [00:10:23] Yeah well I was asked oh if you don’t take that well things like that happen.
Gabe: [00:10:28] We’ll be right back after we hear from our sponsor.
Narrator: [00:10:31] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.
Michelle: [00:11:02] Hey everyone, we wanted to tell you about Emergency Dentists USA — they love the show and wanted us to give them a shout out. Emergency Dentists USA is a 24-hour dental referral service that specializes in finding emergency dentists who accept patients with no insurance and offer low-interest payment plans.  We are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even on holidays.  Our staff is knowledgeable and friendly and can find local, emergency dentists in your area, for any dental emergency you may face. Visit them online and now back to the show.
Gabe: [00:11:44] I think that there’s another side that we need to talk about as well which is let’s say that you are a young woman with schizophrenia and you see this movie and then a doctor tries to prescribe you that medication.
Michelle: [00:11:53] Good point.
Gabe: [00:11:54] You’re going to say look I don’t want that. I’m not violent. That movie stops killers. I’m not a killer so I need a different medication. And now you’re going to resist to the treatment all because you don’t want to be lumped in with a fictional movie. Let me back up for a second. I just have to say this. I want to say this to the whole world. You can you can clip this out of the podcast and play it for everybody.
Gabe: [00:12:14] Listen animals don’t talk. People can’t fly. There’s no such thing as superheroes. We all understand how fiction works in movies for almost every other thing but for whatever reason whenever there’s any mentally ill character we suddenly think that Hollywood is producing a documentary about our lives and saying this is what mentally ill people act like. Really.
Michelle: [00:12:38] Did I ever tell you the time there was like somebody was writing a film in L.A. that film on schizophrenia and they wanted me to like talk to the lead actress and they wanted me to read the scripts and everything. The lead actress like I spoke to her she calls me and all she’s saying is that like oh tell me your story. And I was like Well do you do you know anything like you know about schizophrenia how to act like it. She’s like Oh well I’m like a really good actress. And I’m like Well do you know any mannerisms of people with schizophrenia. You know how they act. And she just was like blew the whole thing off like oh she goes that I was like you know a lot of people with schizophrenia don’t really usually let people in the eye that often just Oh no really. But we’re on Face Time you’re looking at me in the eye and I’m like well we’re on the phone right now. And she just wasn’t even understanding what she would have to be playing if she was playing a schizophrenic person. She just wanted to hear my story and not learn anything from me. And then when the person who had set us up to talk when she e-mailed me can you read our script and tell us how it sounds. I said I don’t want to read your script for free. I work as a mental health advocate and my time is money as well. If you would like me to read your script and you’re trying to support people with mental health issues it would be really nice if you could compensate me and the woman said I completely understand. I’ll talk to the director. The email ceased. Never again. End of it never. Never heard it from them again.
Gabe: [00:14:00] This is a real problem in our circles where people don’t want to gain the right information and if they even make a cursory attempt they want to get it for free. And listen you get what you pay for. And I have no idea if this particular movie “The roommate” hired anybody to talk about mental health mental illness you know chances are look it’s a horror movie that it sounds like it wasn’t very popular because I never even heard of it. So the good news is it didn’t do that much damage because only like 11 people saw this but I get it. Nobody seems to want to understand what it’s like to live with mental illness and portray it in any manner that is even remotely realistic in popular culture and what’s even worse is that the people watching it for whatever reason have decided that it contains factual information. It’s just a story you know and it’s not good or bad or otherwise it’s just fiction. And I wish that people could understand that it’s fiction. We we must make so much progress that people would be like look that’s a fictional portrayal of somebody with schizophrenia.
Michelle: [00:15:10] It’s almost as though people like to make those fictional things up because they want to make sure that they aren’t like that.
Gabe: [00:15:17] Oh sure.
Michelle: [00:15:18] I’m not crazy. They’re crazy. See what crazy looks like. That’s a crazy it looks like and that’s not me.
Gabe: [00:15:23] There you go. Oh and see that’s even scary as well because again back to the point that I made earlier. Let’s say that you’re watching this movie and you’re watching this woman with schizophrenia kill people become obsessed be you know just just weird the way her family is acting around her of course she murders somebody that’s a whole thing.
Michelle: [00:15:40] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:15:40] And then somebody diagnoses you as schizophrenic. You’re like huh no no I’ve never been obsessed. I’m not like you just on and on and on you’re like Let’s listen. I’ve seen what schizophrenia looks like again in a fictional portrayal. And I’ve decided to get some sort of factual basis out of this. And you know this is how we end up with you know politicians that don’t understand facts because they watch some movie about the army and they think they’re generals so it’s not just mental illness.
Gabe: [00:16:10] It just our podcast just happens to be about mental illness. If we switch over to the political spectrum boy do we have some movies that piss us off.
Michelle: [00:16:18] Let’s not even go there.
Gabe: [00:16:22] What are we going to do.
Michelle: [00:16:23] We have nothing to do.
Gabe: [00:16:24] We got nothing to do.
Gabe: [00:16:26] What are some movies that portray somebody with schizophrenia correctly. Do you even know of any.
Michelle: [00:16:32] No.
Gabe: [00:16:34] In the bipolar space.
Gabe: [00:16:35] There are a couple of movies that get close and the most popular one in the most recent one is “Silver Linings Playbook” and I just bring this up to show that Hollywood I think is learning. They are. They are trying you know a horror movie. They sensationalize everything. So you know in fairness and I’m not trying to insult your friends that the fact that they even watched this movie and looked at you that’s kind of insulting. Looks at it. It’s one you know it’s a movie, two you know movies or fiction and three really really?
Michelle: [00:17:04] Yeah.
Gabe: [00:17:04] Like what’s your question again dumbass ass so I get it I get it but I do think that Hollywood is trying. I mean I know that the group didn’t want to pay you but at least they made a cursory attempt that that was that was more than nothing. And to go back to Silver Linings Playbook it wasn’t a bad portrayal. It’s still a fictional movie and I want I want to let people know that if they run out and watch the movie I don’t want them to say hey a man that lives with bipolar disorder said that that was spot on. It wasn’t spot on but it was it was really close and frankly it was it was close enough that for a fictional representation it really didn’t offend me that that really could be somebody’s life with bipolar.
Michelle: [00:17:55] Do you go jogging with a with a trash bag around you.
Gabe: [00:17:58] Listen I don’t. But it’s not the trash bag part.
Michelle: [00:18:01] It’s the jogging.
Gabe: [00:18:07] That I just I just end right there.
Gabe: [00:18:09] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not everybody with bipolar disorder wears a trash bag or jogs. Yeah. Yeah. I’m not saying that I’ve never woke up with a trash bag around my neck.
Michelle: [00:18:24] That’s †he next shirt you should sell Trash Bag Chic trash bag.
Michelle: [00:18:28] Yeah I think it’ll look good.
Gabe: [00:18:30] But there were parts of it that really did speak to me the confusion the manic energy him waking up his family in the middle of the night because he got excited about something the desperation to repeat things the way his family had to make apologies for him because he woke up the neighborhood the way he couldn’t let things go.
Gabe: [00:18:48] These were things that that are very stereotypical of somebody who lives with untreated bipolar disorder and they kind of covered that decently saying that he wasn’t necessarily under a lot of control. He didn’t necessarily have the best treatment but ultimately and this is something that I want everybody to know even if that was a documentary even if that was complete fact even if every single thing that happened in Silver Linings Playbook was true and happened exactly like that. That doesn’t mean that that’s how everyone with bipolar disorder behaves.
Michelle: [00:19:23] True.
Gabe: [00:19:23] That means that’s how that dude behaves. So I think we need to get over that as well. It really bothers me that people were like Hey I saw a woman in a movie and now I know how women act or I saw an African-American male in a movie. So that’s how all African-Americans act or you know just on and on and on. But we think this is a society so on the plus side.
Michelle: [00:19:46] It’s just stereotypes.
Michelle: [00:19:47] Yes it’s everyone just making a stereotype.
Gabe: [00:19:49] Stereotypes are the shorthand of the lazy. I don’t want to take the time to get to know you. So I will just figure out whatever stereotype I can and declare my knowledge of you complete and that’s just.
Michelle: [00:20:02] That’s just ignorance.
Gabe: [00:20:03] It’s straight up ignorant and it’s lazy and it’s bullshit and it robs you of getting to know real people.
Michelle: [00:20:10] Some people aren’t worth getting to know.
Gabe: [00:20:12] Well but you won’t know that until you get to know them. Listen when I first met you, you yelled cock ring at the top of your lungs. All right. If I would have been like all right we’ve got a tiny little schizophrenic yelling cock ring I don’t want to be friends with her anymore.
Gabe: [00:20:25] This whole podcast.
Gabe: [00:20:26] I was not yelling cock ring at the top of my lungs. You say that all the time you always bring that up is yelling cock ring. I had a ring I had a ring and what was actually a ring it was a ring that my friend who is a sculpture artist sculpted out of wire a penis on a ring.
Michelle: [00:20:48] So I was calling it a cock ring.
Gabe: [00:20:50] Loudly.
Michelle: [00:20:52] Everyone was asking me about it.
Gabe: [00:20:54] You are a dick on your finger
Michelle: [00:20:57] Whatever it was my ring.
Gabe: [00:20:59] You Know.
Michelle: [00:20:59] I got a lot of comments on that ring.
Gabe: [00:21:01] Yeah no shit. Most people do not wear genitalia on their finger when they meet business people for the first time.
Michelle: [00:21:09] I stopped wearing it after a week because I was getting too many looks OK but if you weren’t that ring hit me up I’ll get one made for you. I think our final thoughts for today is if you’re going to make a movie about a girl with a mental illness don’t pick an actual medication’s name make up a name use that and if you’re going to watch a movie with some friends and before you ask your friend or really dumb question just just just think twice.
Gabe: [00:21:43] Just think twice maybe just think it all like I don’t know I don’t think there was a first thought.
Michelle: [00:21:46] I mean if you’ve known your friend for like over a year Don’t ask a question based on a movie you just saw that came out in 2011.
Gabe: [00:21:55] You know it’s gonna be awesome if you and your friend are not friends after this podcast. It means your friend was good enough to listen to the show that you’re hosting. So that’s just going to be a real travesty. Thank you everybody for tuning into this week’s episode of a bipolar a schizophrenic and a podcast. Please head over to store.PychCentral.com by our Define Normal shirt. We are almost out of them and once they are gone they are probably gone forever.
Gabe: [00:22:21] Also radios everywhere share tell your friends. Michelle and I are on a course with destiny and your
Michelle: [00:22:28] Roommates.
Narrator: [00:22:30] You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself. Head on over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app. Subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. The show’s official Web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and share widely.
  Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts
GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.
  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.
from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-a-bipolar-and-a-schizophrenic-get-triggered-by-a-movie/
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