#also its so fucking funny to me that the show is filmed in winter and has christmas themed holes
January 2024 Game Diary
Dredge
Alan Wake’s American Nightmare
Fishing Vacation
Quantum Break
Nightmare Frames
Dredge
Dredge is a game I picked up in the winter sale of last year as part of the indie game kick that I’ve been on. I saw “horror” and “fishing” and was like yeah, that’s for me. I did like it quite a bit but I found the story bits a little… underwhelming. It wasn’t bad, just pretty typical for anyone who likes “ocean is full of horrors” type media. The NPCs are all foreboding with their talk of “things happening at night” and whatnot, and I was like cool, stuff happens, yeah it’s a horror game (I’ve played so much survival horror over the past few hours so I may be a bit desensitized). I did like the ship customizing a lot, and the drawings of all the fish I found were delightful. I also enjoyed plundering shipwrecks for treasure, although most of what I found was the same junk over and over. That did make the relics I found that much more exciting, so maybe that’s not a terrible thing. Stellar Basin was easily my favorite section, although it took me some time to figure out what I was meant to do, mostly because I didn’t figure out how ship upgrades worked until I had spent a few hours wandering around with the standard engine. The glowing fish and algae combined with the large creature looming underneath kept me intrigued enough to power through until I figured out how to keep the creature from attacking me. Overall I would say I liked it! It’s a neat little game that could’ve used more content, but for the price I would say it’s worth it if you’re looking for cozy horror. 7/10
Alan Wake’s American Nightmare
I became a bit of an Alan Wake superfan last year around February when I decided to play the first Alan Wake game on the assumption that the game was kind of bad but funny. I streamed it in discord to my friends and we enjoyed the dated expressions of the characters and the low budget Twin Peaks experience that the town of Bright Falls provided. It ended up having more points in its favor than I expected - it takes place in the Pacific Northwest - which works so well for me in terms of horror -, the characters are genuinely lovable and funny (Barry, not Alan really he is a bit of an asshole), and exploding the darkness with the flashlight was satisfying if not a bit tedious after a few hours. So I played this game, then Alan Wake 2, then Control… and now I love the Remedyverse, the universe that connects all these games.
THIS game kind of sucks, but because this company apparently owns my ass now I played it anyway. It is short, and the premise of the game is you’re basically playing a monster of the week groundhog’s day episode. As someone who has watched X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Supernatural, I consider this trope tried and true. Alan Wake wakes up in Arizona and has to figure out how to defeat Mr. Scratch and escape the loop. Every character in the loop is a conventionally hot woman, one of which is hypnotized and actually tries to fuck Alan. It’s pretty crude and sexist, but unsurprising from an older game. It does manage to encapsulate the Remedy charm despite its shortcomings, with television sets and projectors spread out throughout the levels showing snuff films of Mr. Scratch himself committing evil deeds while negging Alan. This was easily my favorite part, and you can see how Remedy had begun experimenting with live-action film in video games long before Control and Alan Wake 2 came out. I think if you absolutely love the Remedyverse this game is worth playing, especially because you can pick it up for a few bucks in a sale. Is it a masterpiece? Absolutely not, but I don’t regret playing it. 5/10
Fishing Vacation
I bought this game for the same reason I bought Dredge - it was tagged as fishing and horror on steam. It was also $1.99, and somehow even shorter than AWAN. I had a good time playing this for the 2 hours it took me to get 4 out of 5 of the endings, but it really is a bite-sized game. In the style of a very simple gameboy advance game, you and a childhood friend of yours go to visit a fishing cabin that you used to visit as children. You go fishing. Weird things happen. Whether you find the three keys hidden in the lake and open the basement up or not changes the ending. It’s cute, it’s an alright game. If you feel like playing something a little weird for 20 minutes to an hour I’d say go for it. I don’t even feel comfortable giving it a rating because of its shortness, but I will say playing shorter games has been nice because it allows me to appreciate the tiny studios that produce them. There is a special type of creativity behind these microgames that I can appreciate. I played Iron Lung last year and while this game isn’t quite as good, I did enjoy the creepiness in the same medium I experienced games in as a young child.
Nightmare Frames
I am new to point & click games. Last year I finished my very first p&c game, “The Excavation of Hob’s Barrow”, and I bought this game immediately after because I was craving more. This one did not disappoint me - the second time around anyway. I started playing it immediately after Hob’s but lost interest due to how different it was. A few months later I picked it up again when I was bored and found that it was actually a pretty solid game. I like p&c puzzles and these did not disappoint. The story is better than I expected, the character development is solid, and the visuals work well for me. It takes place in 1980s Hollywood, and funny enough you are playing as a writer named Alan who has become disillusioned with his career as a horror writer and craves fame. He resents the work he has done despite being beloved by many of the people he encounters. He wants more, and that desire ultimately leads him down a dark path. Would recommend to horror p&c fans, 8/10!
Quantum Break
This game is also kind of sort of in the Remedyverse (Remedy no longer owns the rights). I realized I had a code for it on my Humble account and figured if I already own it, I might as well give it a shot. It is an action game, with episodes of a real TV show slotted between each chapter. It’s kind of fun! It is very weird! I like the parkour, I like the romance between Jack and Beth, and the fact that it is a video game that feels exactly like a 2010s cop drama (I’m thinking of Bones) is neat. The episodes were well done for a video game for sure, but they did not especially capture me. I wanted to keep playing the game! The shooting and time powers Jack has were what I was enjoying, and I didn’t want to stop doing that to watch what was happening in the background. Also the graphics are more impressive than you’d expect. It really feels like Xbox put more stock into this than they should’ve (I could not get over how expensive looking this game is), because I really cannot fathom who this game was actually made for besides freaks like me who want to soak up every drop of the Remedyverse, but I liked it for what it is. I think because it’s so weird - the random Night Springs episodes for example, or the fact that it feels so much like you’re in a tv show - feels like it would not really appeal to the average gamer. It seems like a game that wants to be a lot of things.
I would not spend $40 on it, but I would say it’s worth playing if you love all things Remedy. 6.5/10
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ok i am desperately trying to remember as much as i can from sonic 2 (will be seeing it again in a couple days) but a few things that i loved/noticed
- i know that a few people were worried (including me) about them leaning too heavily toward the superhero angle with the whole blue justice thing, but that was mercifully really short and was just a way of showing how sonic was being overly reckless/arrogant! and it was nice to see them showing that side of him too
- i just have to say. the winter soldier line WAS annoying, but that fucking pay off?? the whole ‘bucky saves steve’ thing but with knuckes and sonic?? hello? IM LOSING IT
- unfortunately i found jim carrey insufferable in this movie but my guy deserves credit for giving 200%
- i didn’t find the movie particularly funny at any point and in fact there were many bits i found just unbelievably cringe (the siberian dance off, for one - uptown funk is so old now?? the adventure pose maybe JUST saves it). i mean... did we really need a flossing reference in both movies
- but that negative stuff aside, this was just so clearly a movie by fans for fans and i honestly think that’s why critics dont like it. the audience of this film is either a) sonic fans or b) kids and there is no in-between
- on that note!! i was LIVING for the interactions between tails + knuckles + sonic, it’s such a blessed dynamic and i loved how they all got to individually play off each other.
- there were so many facets to knuckles too - his gullibility, his vulnerability, his longing for a family, his strength and honour, his ruthlessness... like they allowed him to be a bit dumb and clueless without making him a complete joke which i adored
- knuckles and sonic bonding over their difficult pasts and sonic not blaming knuckles for longclaw’s death was really nice? like sonic really didn’t want to fight him. and BABY KNUCKLES. knuckles’ dad! ken penders is losing his shit
- this movie was just so deeply and unashamedly earnest (even with the power of friendship stuff and emphasis on family!!) that i couldnt help but smile through most of it.
- oh man, i just. all the clever references to the games?? the sonic 06 reference! the unleashed reference! even the thing with the chilli dog falling from the sky felt like a black knight reference!!
- seriously was losing my fucking MIND during the super sonic scene. it just encapsulated for me how long it feels since ive seen a movie like this that gives the fans what they want! I mean?? the chaos emeralds?? sonic’s design including the floating quills and the red eyes?? he looked soOOOO COOL
- knuckles talking about ice cream DID NOT DISAPPOINT. i really didnt expect them all to be just hanging out together at the end but that fucken killed me man
- GUN!!!
- TONED DOWN OLIVE GARDEN REFERENCES THANK YOU
- the human characters 100% got shafted but uhhh. i didnt mind it all that much?? and there was that huge moment with maddie and tom accepting sonic as their son and sonic talking tom dad like,.. that’s pretty important
- colleen was soooo good she just seamlessly slotted in and it was so nice to hear her voice throughout!!
- i loved seeing how the bits in the trailers were chopped and changed and moved out of context, it was cool to see how everything actually slotted together in the movie
- it was interestng how they’ve made it so the chaos emeralds are components of the master emerald rather than a separate thing? to the point where super sonic was said to have absorbed the power of the master emerald rather than the chaos emeralds... but its nbd tbh
- SHADOW SHADOW SHADOW!!!!! SHadoW!! he looked so good - if anything it looked like the red fur around his eyes was more obvious? he also looked kinda sad : ‘( i cannot wait to see his final design! so i assume the next movie is going to be pretty much just sa2 with a few changes? it doesnt really surprise me - shadow is just way too popular, and it felt like it was foreshadowed by the sa-2 on the gun helicopter. i like to think this means amy will be introduced too!
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I’m laughing my ass off. This reminds me of when I was at a fannish party back in... 2012? 2013?
One of the hosts excitedly asked us if we were into MCU. I said yes, and she aggressively shoved her art portfolio at me. It was entirely manips of Stony. I loathe MCU Stony. I also don’t like manips, but it was really the ship that stuck with me. Because she didn’t ask if we liked Stony but whether we liked MCU.
Anyway, that’s a longwinded way of saying that while I was “in” MCU for a hot second, that doesn’t mean I was in that part of it.
I ignored Iron Man 1. I was too angry at how its unexpected success destroyed any chance my beloved Speed Racer had of breaking even. Speed Racer is one of the most aesthetically adventurous films of its decade and offensively underrated at the time. (Hilariously, all the film bro blogs changed their tune in like 6 months, years faster than I expected.) It’s one of the only films I’ve seen multiple times in the theater. (The others being The Man from U.N.C.L.E., which was similarly buried by another film, and Deadpool 2.)
A while later, I was looking up fanvids that use music from Highlander as part of making a vid to mess with a friend. She said any song can be used for anything except for that one because it belongs to Highlander. She was joking, but I thought it would be funny to use the song for something else... only I couldn’t remember which one she’d said, so I used both Princes of the Universe and Who Wants to Live Forever to make fun of all the emo Sherlock vids post S2.
I was shocked to discover that talitha78 actually had vidded Who Wants to Live Forever, and it was a really shippy vid of something I hadn’t seen and didn’t even recognize. So that’s how I watched Captain America: TFA. I have one great narrative weakness, and it’s people being fake or temporarily dead. Needless to say, when I found out what happened with Bucky in comics, I was very interested.
I got into MCU at that point, right before Avengers came out. I ate a lot of shawarma.
Avengers made me ship Science Bros like mad. Bruce was hands down my fave. I also read some Pepperony on LJ. I find MCU Tony insufferable, but I liked his vibe with both Pepper and Bruce. I also read some Tony/Pepper/other dude OT3s, even Tony/Pepper/Steve despite me thinking MCU Stony was intensely chemistryless at the time.
But honestly, the fic I probably read the most of was something I didn’t even ship myself: Clint/Coulson. I loved Coulson. I love characters coming back. And I’m weak for tropey handler/asset. C/C at the time was practically just original m/m with faces grafted on, and there were some great fics.
I also read a lot of trashy Mary Sue Darcy fic. That was everywhere in 2012. Darcy joins SHIELD. Darcy is Coulson’s secret child. Darcy dates Coulson. Darcy fucks her way through the Avengers. Darcy has a freaky blue baby with Loki. Darcy fucks Jensen from The Losers. (In fact, there is more Darcy/Jensen than a bunch of MCU ships that actually make sense.)
Then The Winter Soldier came out. I walked in a stucky shipper. I walked out thinking “Bucky who?” I was blown away by how that movie, like Cap1, is off in its own aesthetic universe. The whole film, I kept going “Oh my god, it’s Three Days of the Condor! Right down to the color palette!” Imagine my amusement to find out that the directors were calling it “Three Days of Captain America”. I was also blown away by Sam. The imperturbable friend who’s too sane to crumple under your bullshit! My weakness!
After that, I read a bunch of fic with Sam, Steve, Natasha, and Bucky in various configurations.
So, okay, yes, I did read some stucky. But even back then, I was seeing a rise in stucky-only fans whose work wasn’t so much my thing. There was a lot of lipservice to “historical accuracy” and fellating of anybody who’d read Gay New York and wanted to show off their learnings. I’ve read that book, and it’s great, but the attitude made me roll my eyes. In my experience, “historically accurate” just meant justifying some specific kink for femme Steve with Steve as a fairy and Bucky as trade. (More on what those referred to in this book review. Basically, femme vs. masculine guy who fucks women and femmes.)
I drifted away from MCU some time after that. I’m not good at staying into canons that are too sprawling or things that are too popular in general, especially if they’re very OTPy. (My stay in BTS fandom is shockingly long for me. I chalk it up to the sheer quantity of OT3s and multishipping.)
The big thing I noticed was that in addition to a lack of fic about Sam, a lot of what there was was distinctly boring. People were afraid to write iddy trash for obvious reasons. Not so with stucky, which has always been iddy trash central. Curse The Winter Soldier for robbing me of my ability to care!
I was excited about the idea of Bucky and Sam in a buddy show despite not having seen MCU in years, but friends’ reviews made me think it would be a letdown, and I haven’t bothered to watch.
I don’t know the big internal dramas in stucky fandom after I left MCU. I’m sure they have been legion. I get the impression that many of them have boiled down to “You are more popular than I am, and that is not okay.”
It’s such a large ship and has so many OTPers who don’t necessarily interact with other parts of MCU fandom that I don’t know how many of those dramas have leaked out elsewhere. MCU is like Harry Potter fandom in that way: there are tons of completely separate camps, and one might or might not be in multiple of them. It’s not even a question of disliking each other: it’s just too big to be in all of.
Given how overwhelming and hard to get into Stucky is at this point, I would just read the fic and not worry about interacting--unless you want to? TBH, ships like that aren’t that easy to get into in a social sense. I’ll still read the occasional fic if I get a rec. I read that one where they go to the Captain America film festival, and it’s a hilarious parody of gay French art films and subtextually homoerotic 1980s US action movies. I also read that one where Steve contacts a professor of queer history looking for info about his past friends and Bucky bugs her office. (I’m certainly not immune to the history nerdery. I just find it lulzy when people go “FACT!” and mean “I love femme Steve!”)
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spring troupe and gender neutral s/o watch horror movies
about time i finally write for this blog... i was hit with the image of masumi watching a horror movie with his s/o, thought how lovely it would be if there was content of that, then realized i have that power now
word count: 1,935
tags: established relationship, non-detailed mentions of horror themes (gore, monsters, etc)
sakuya sakuma
🌸 when the topic of a horror movie date first comes up, he’s a bit scared. he’s only seen a couple, one of which was for mankai play research.
🌸 when it’s actually showing, though, he’s pretty calm! the anticipation was the worst part, and he somehow doesn’t get scared even during the most terrifying movie of the year. he’s great at reminding himself it’s just fictional in the end
🌸 vampires? not scary. aliens? he thinks they’re cute! gore? well, yeah, it’s unnerving at first but it’s all fake, and once he reminds himself of that he’s fine
🌸 he gets scared at the littlest things though. there might be a continuity error where a knife is in its holder on the counter in one shot and then removed the next, and no one in the movie acknowledges it nor is it supposed to mean anything but he can and will psych himself out thinking about just what moved it
🌸 king of predicting plot twists! he might be very good at spotting continuity errors, but he’s even better at picking out little bits of foreshadowing and putting together the mystery
🌸 gets spooked the most by jumpscares. every time he squeaks a bit (on really bad ones he might scream) and every time he always does the same embarrassed sigh afterwards and goes to squeeze your hand to calm himself
🌸 psychological horror is definitely the best pick for sakuya. he thinks a lot about what’ll happen next in the movie and loves to discuss about movies with you regardless of the genre, so with thought-provoking psychological films it fits him like a glove
🌸 and hey, if things ever get too intense he loves b-list horror movies! he thinks the bad acting is endearing and always finds something to compliment even with the trashiest, corniest flick
🌸 if you ever get uncomfortable, he might commentate in the movie and try to poke fun at it- i mean, the killer clown is kind of funny! look how bright and colorful it is compared to the rest of the set! he keeps his voice light and sunny so you have something comforting to concentrate on
masumi usui
🎧 he loves the idea of horror night. cuddling with you, holding you protectively as the suspense rises, stealing kisses to distract you from the monster and erase your fear...
🎧 he’s only seen a few horror movies in his life, less than the fingers he has on one hand, but whatever. it’s a movie. it’s not real. if he got too immersed he could just tell himself it’s fake and be done with it.
🎧 spoiler alert: he didn’t.
🎧 masumi did not, and i repeat, did NOT expect to get so invested??? even if you’re scared, he’s definitely the most terrified
🎧 that’s not to say he’ll show it. he’s doing everything to keep a neutral face, and you’ll probably assume he’s holding to you tighter during the scary parts like he’s protecting you.
🎧 (it’s actually because you’re the one [1] thing grounding him. you’re protecting him, not the other way around! in hindsight, he likes being cared for even when he thought he’d be the one spoiling you, not the other way around. he just wishes it didn’t have to be during such a scary movie, that’s all)
🎧 will take his fear to the grave... unless you ask him directly about it. please hold him and tell him the monsters aren’t real, even though he’s a heavy sleeper he will stay up until 3 am, his mind reminding him how creepy the movie was every time he’s about to drift off
🎧 so does not fuck with ghosts, if he didn’t believe in them before he certainly does now. the poor guy looks up how to ward away spirits and ends up carrying around a salt packet on him for the next two weeks
tsuzuru minagi
📖 tsuzuru’s not exactly a horror fan. he claims it’s brainless and pointless
📖 (admittedly he’s a little scared of them, but he still thinks they’re dependent on shock alone, and have zero rewatch value since the writing is more focused on in-the-moment spooks than actual plot.)
📖 he’ll roll his eyes and tease you a little but eventually he’ll go along with watching a horror movie
📖 to psych himself out of his fear tsuzuru decides to watch them critically and note what plot points to do (or more likely not to do) for future plays
📖 this works out for the beginning but by the middle of the movie he’s enraptured. he can’t tell if it’s actually good or if it’s a car wreck he can’t help but watch
📖 does the corny move where he yawns and wraps an arm around you, and you’d almost buy it from his earlier cynicism but then the killer shows their face and he tenses up like hell and you just know
📖 gets embarrassed every time he’s scared- he even turns pink, and gets even redder if you try to hold his hand or cuddle him closer (even though there’s nothing he’d want more after something that creepy)
📖 by the end he’s got a few new ideas that might go to autumn or winter troupe’s latest plays, and admits okay, fine, maybe horror isn’t so pointless after all
itaru chigasaki
🎮 screw movies, you’re playing horror games instead!
🎮 most of itaru’s horror games are single-player, so one of you takes the controller while the other sits next to the player, but itaru’ll drape his arms around you from behind in a back hug the entire time you play
🎮 he doesn’t really shut up. the entire time, he’s either cracking a joke or trying to freak you out more, if only so he doesn’t get in his head and overthink the creepy atmosphere
🎮 asshole only quiets down when the game gets tense, and then suddenly puts his hands around your shoulders or neck to scare you. regardless if you fall for it or not, he always laughs at himself and just-so-happens to break the tension as a scary cutscene plays
🎮 still commentates when he’s the player, but gasps or jumps even at small atmospheric scares
🎮 itaru definitely overthinks the game. he gets super cautious over tiny details and makes the missions way harder than they should be since he keeps overestimating the enemy line of sight and how noisy the avatar is
🎮 if you happen to be playing a co-op horror it’s a constant “no u” battle over who should do the scariest tasks
🎮 “reader, we need to cleanse the room next. you should do it” “no, you should do it. you have the quartz item remember” “i can give it to you since you have the ghost ward” “the ghost ward doesn’t apply to this quest, besides, you’re better at this ghost attack quick time event than me” “no it does, and you’re more optimized” “i can just give the items to you-“ “no you should do it” “no you” “no you” “no you” “no y-”
🎮 you both lose
citron
🍋 citron loves horror movies! he thinks they’re... comforting?
🍋 turns out he’s only seen movies about cursed dolls and b-horror, which explains a lot- he loves dolls too much to be scared by them and he thinks b-list horror is hilarious- but he’ll still proudly proclaim he’s unflappable and swear to protect you from the bad guys
🍋 when you’re actually watching the movie you can’t tell if he’s faking his reactions or not. he’s very noisy
🍋 he gets scared enough during the gruesome and horrific scenes to hold you close and tight like a teddy bear, and during the worst of it he might muffle a scream by diving into the crook of your neck, obscuring his vision until the scene changes
🍋 and yet, he laughs at the next scene’s unrealism, and manages to poke enough fun at the movie that you giggle and his terror disappears, he loves your laugh way more than he can be afraid of monsters
🍋 can’t do gore for the life of him, but when it comes to the actual plot, he’s rather critical of characters acting dumb. he catches on to nonsensical writing quick, but usually asks you to clarify the plot holes before realizing that he found a loophole in the writing
🍋 whenever you’re scared and not even his goofy reactions and commentary can help, he plants a sweet kiss on your cheek, strokes your hair, and holds you close to his chest until the fear goes away. he’s surprisingly good at protecting you from the movie
🍋 after the movie he’ll say his country has a similar legend to the movie monsters, but he claims the legends are true in zafra, and zafrans have a very specific tradition to prevent the monsters from attacking them
🍋 the movie also gave citron the idea of creepily standing behind you silently until you turn around and get startled, or occasionally chanting in a strange, cultish language and pretending he didn’t say a thing, or making a doll with the same markings as the clown puppet from the movie...
🍋 citron continues to be even scarier than the actual horror movie, but can’t wait until the next horror night! maybe watching it was a bad idea after all...
chikage utsuki
🌙 chikage just doesn’t get the appeal of horror. it’s just a fake movie, why do people get so creeped out by terrible sfx and unrealistic monsters?
🌙 he’s seen scarier things than any werewolf pack, zombie outbreak, or witch coven can throw at him. if you insist on watching a scary movie, fine, he’ll be happy to let you sit on his lap, just don’t expect to creep him out as well, or else you’ll be sorely disappointed.
🌙 he analyzes the movie more than he watches it, but doesn’t speak up even though the fight scenes look pitiful. if this were real life, he’d sweep the whole brood of shambling monstrosities in record time and be back home in time for izumi’s curry
🌙 chikage runs his hands under your shirt whenever the monster’s on screen to scare you. it’s actually really creepy- his fingers are light and quick and always makes you flinch, even if you know it’s just your boyfriend
🌙 he’ll listen to your thoughts about the movie, but doesn’t have strong opinions himself. he thinks the scares are mediocre at best, even without considering his background, but won’t mention how unrealistic it was unless you mention it first.
🌙 psychological horror, however, is a whole different story
🌙 maybe chikage can’t get scared by generic spirit halloween monsters but once you introduce thought-provoking plot, questions and dilemmas, now he’s hooked
🌙 he really likes wondering if the protagonist is actually the good guy and making theories about the origins of the monsters and why they’re so destructive, even if he forgets about them once the movie’s over.
🌙 love love looooves the “the monsters were harmless creatures before humans dished out the first blow” trope. he knows how common it is, but there’s a lot of ways to go about it, especially on a subtextual level, and he just can’t get enough
🌙 the deeper the plot is, expect a longer conversation about the ins and outs of it. they get surprisingly thoughtful and introspective, even if chikage throws in a few bullshit stories related to the movie just to watch you squirm
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Did you even read those articles? The white wolf change has nothing to do with brudbaker because even if they continue to use the winter soldier they legally don’t have to pay him royalties because that’s part of his original contract (a contract made before the mcu even existed). I just think you should be focusing on the actual problem that’s within the comics industry which is that writers are rarely entitled to their work/creative decisions, which leads to people like Brudbaker never being given credit for his own work. Putting words in his mouth and misconstruing information isn’t going to help his case or the problem he wants solved. Do I think the mcu/disney should be paying more to these writers? 100%, but the problem is they don’t legally have to, which is a problem that stems back to writers and creators in the comic industry and how they often get screwed over in their contracts. Because of this he has no legal right to his creative decisions, so any changes made in the mcu (like white wolf or a lack of buckynat) have nothing to do with trying to get out of paying him. He also hasn’t seen the show and has only said that Sebastian Stan’s portrayal was “perfect” so I don’t know where you got the notion he was giving out about bucky’s characterisation in the show, when that’s just plainly untrue. I do agree that he deserves financial compensation for his work, but you seemed to stray far from that point to justify your own problems by acting like they were also his.
This is about the tenth message like this I've received since making that post and since you can't be bothered to Google and verify information u see on Tumblr here's some direct quotes from Brubaker and the interview he gave about the show and his fued with Disney here:
“When I see ads for the show, it actually makes me feel sick to my stomach. It’s just weird that they're [Disney] so ungenerous to me. It’s especially weird because a lot of them are friends of mine. Or people that I thought were friends of mine.”
Another one from Brubaker from the same podcast interview both the articles were quoting:
“THERE IS A CORPORATE MENTALITY. RIGHT NOW SOMEONE INSIDE MARVEL PUBLISHING SOMEWHERE IS WATCHING THIS AND LAUGHING THAT I THINK I GOT RIPPED OFF. THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT THINK IT’S FUNNY THAT I’M UNHAPPY ABOUT IT. I KNOW FOR A FACT BECAUSE I’VE WATCHED THEM BE THAT WAY."
And one more:
"There’s nothing preventing anyone at Marvel from looking over how much the Winter Soldier has been used in all this stuff and calling me and Steve Epting and saying, ‘You know what, we’re going to try to adjust the standard thing so you guys feel good about this.”
So because you've clearly got bad case of Disney Boot Licking Syndrome preventing you from critically thinking (a 'but it's legal' argument, seriously??), I'll spell it out for you:
Bucky Barnes was canonically dead in Marvel canon until Brubaker and Eping created the Winter Soldier in 2004. Disney used this specific version of Winter Soldier Bucky for the MCU and only paid Brubaker royalties for the one film ie. both his appearance in it and character use. But even this amount was so small he demanded more, and Disney refused. Again, he explains all this in the interview. He also explains Disney have consistently denied him royalties, despite continued use of HIS CHARACTER beyond the initial agreement. because the Winter Soldier is legally and undisputably the creation of Brubaker
Now, again clearly because ur too busy putting words in my mouth I'll lay out the extremely obvious connection between Brubakers comments, his fued and the white wolf bullshit in TFATWS.
Brubaker created The Winter Soldier and the show is fucking called the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, it's not a stretch to imagine that when he says the show makes him sick to his stomach why that is. Its not because of Sebastian, and I never said it was btw, it's because he's upset about the use of the Winter Soldier CHARACTER because, and I cannot stress this enough, he as the creator of the character clearly doesn't agree with Disney's use.
Now, let's imagine for a second that I am Disney Megacorp and a writer I cheapened out of royalties keeps kicking up a fuss about their character's ongoing use. I have two options, I can either a) pay the writer or b) alter their character so if they ever try to come for me legally I can claim "oh, but see even though he's called the Winter Soldier the character is completely different so we don't owe the creator anything." GUESS WHICH OPTION THEY WENT FOR.
You're RIGHT the White Wolf has nothing to do with Brubaker because THAT'S THE POINT. THATs WHY THEY DON'T HAVE TO PAY ROYALTIES FOR USING THE WINTER SOLDIER NAME.
"my own problems with the characterisation" as you put it, literally exist because Disney won't use buckynat because guess WHY!! they'd have to credit and PAY Ed Brubaker because, again, he created their run as a romance in the comics and it's clear Disney wanted to be cheap and avoid paying and fully crediting Brubaker because he has the evidence that they have. so they left out buckynat and made Bucky into the white wolf so they wouldn't have to credit OR PAY.
I'm glad you fucking agree he deserves being paid for the use of HIS WORK. Congratulations, you're not a total boot licker. But my problems are Ed Brubaker's problems because, call me crazy, but i think a show called The Falcon and the Winter Soldier should actually a) pay dues to the man who created The Winter Soldier and b) actually have The Winter Soldier and not a watered down White Wolf reimagining whose sole purpose is to make it harder for a creator to challenge the misuse of their work.
Thank you, though, for perfectly demonstrating how Disney's 'just make Bucky the White Wolf and people won't give a shit about Brubaker' strategy is so effective at making people discredit Brubaker's claims, as if Brubaker wouldn't be the expert on the use of his own character.
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Real versus Imaginary
What makes a relationship real?
It’s not photos. Or hugs. Or any skinship. Saying I love you.
I love this for taekook. They showing us they GOOD.
Have we forgotten that they had a rough time and even talked about it ITS?
Them posting each other is fab! We should all be shaking our booties in celebration that boys have healed. They had overcome their differences. Well done. Keep it up. I never wanna see you two fall out. Again. Jimin the fairy better arrange another reunion and make up scene on film, since we can’t get the rainy day fight footage, this is your penance Jikook.
No but seriously.
I am happy for them. 🥺🥺🥺
They’re in a band together so I do expect selcas and as Hobi’s magnanimous record shows—he has ALL the files—don’t we all wish a sneak preview!? Namjoon sure doesn’t want us to see. I wonder why. LOL.
Be like Hobi. Sharing is caring.
Anygays.
My point was that you all need to stop. To all the Karen’s out there.
STOBBBB 👋🏻👋🏻
Stop freaking out. Jikook is fine.
BTS is on a winter break they’re supposed to be enjoying Christmas with their families for the first time in ages. (Kuddos to those still isolating.) Just wait until some content emerges later about how J-hope and Jimin and Jungkook were the only ones that hung out together, then you’ll be sorry.
A while back, while in a relationship we had a house together, the whole shebang. Mother-in-law used to ring me and tell me she loved me, that kind of thing.
When you are in an actual adult relationship you don’t have to be together 24/7, but also that person is your preference in companionship. You comfortable with them. It just happens. It’s hard breaking the habit. (Bit of a Louis Tomlinson in me.)
But it’s super healthy to spend time apart and have your own circle of friends and actually not be glued to each other all the time. I remember when I was working with another ex, we didn’t live together but we worked together and had the same interests…
So like we would create opportunities to be together through work and after work and it was super addictive 🤣
I can’t imagine HOW Jikook work and live together tho. I couldn’t do it.
😅😅😅😅😅
Jikook work together, they also appear to me as IRL couple and as such if they do live together…Respect bro. Mad respect.
With some of my partners I had major online presence and with other not. It depends on what they wanted. One wanted to post me, the other wanted to live with me. Also it changed over time?
Whining for jikook to jikook won’t make it happen.
All I’m saying is. If you define what’s real by social media then good fucking luck. It’s obviously incredibly deceptive?? I could construct a whole life online and actually live a flat box in your neighbourhood shed. You see the problem? Right?
These men are kpop idols. Hello?
There’s so much we don’t know about Jikook’s pretences and how they wish to conduct their relationship. Why is everyone freaking out over SM?
It’s funny to me that some shippers / tkkrs suppose that a few photos would demonstrate as a ‘proof’.
Why does nobody listen to Tae?
Would a boyfriend not know where his boyfriends’ room is? Would a boyfriend let his boyfriend run around with a giant hickey while his best friend is responsible for creating it on said boyfriends neck?
My head is hurting just thinking about it…
I’m gonna need all the tkkrs to please go and get some sexual healing.
If legally able please seek a relationship and see for yourself if
You eat, sleep, fly, practice, exercise with your boyfriend / girlfriend
Do you spend 24/7 as an inseparable duo according to all your acquaintances
Are you a jiminipedia? By which I mean do you know everything about your partner and do you INSIST on telling everyone everything about them with your whole chest?
Do you preface each story with “I was with Jungkook…”
Invite them to your vlive because you’re already in their studio and you wanna see them. Your partner arrives in under a minute and you hold hands under the table like bros, but romantically
Your partner doesn’t use the honorifics with you because yeah you equal and sometimes they slip up. Oops. Sometimes they tease you…to flirt. Other times they just DGAF you’re on camera I guess
Etc etc etc literally the universe is a jikooker
Or do you:
Show up at your BFFs room only find your boyfriend / girlfriend already there and you’re confused who’s room you’re in because wtf is this
Find out your boyfriend has a giant hickey that your BFF has given them 👀
I can’t even continue to post the list…it’s just…
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Wallflowers - A Henry Cavill x Reader fic
So I did a thing! Rather than continue to work on my larger, more complicated Pride and Prejudice fic, I decided to make a fanfic out of the fantasy I had at work the other day!
There will most likely be a part two to this, I just thought I was at a good stopping point and wanted to see what you guys thought about it.
Full disclosure: I didn’t mean for this to whole ass turn into a Bath and Body Works ad, but it kinda did. For those of you reading in countries that do not have Bath and Body Works, its basically just a body and home care store. In the US their scents are legendary. Pretty much every young girl went through a BBW phase where that was all they used for soap and perfume. That all being said, in the interest of further disclosure and covering my ass, I own neither Bath and Body Works nor any of the trademarks on the scents listed herein. I also do not own Henry Cavill because owning human beings is a crime.
This is my first Henry fic so be gentle with me! It’s a bit longer than I had anticipated and un-beta’d.
Warnings: just a lot of fluff. some self-deprecation. loads of swearing. don’t know if I should warn for slight bashing of the religious but I will anyway so no one gets mad at me.
Wallflowers
It was shaping up to be another boring ass day at Bath and Body Works. I had started working here during the Pandemic after I was laid off from my job at the movie theatre. I had planned on it only being temporary, but even after things got better and I got my theatre job back, I decided to stick around. What can I say; a bitch is broke. Nothing wrong with double-dipping.
There was something about Sunday mornings in the mall. Probably because people around here still went to church in the mornings. Like it matters. Sunday mornings are always so slow, here and at the theatre, but the day always picks up after 1, when morning church services finish. It was me and Samantha up in the front room this morning, working out the leftover boxes from yesterday’s shipment. She was one of the first people I really bonded with here, both of us being super into both Marvel and DC, specifically Sebastian Stan and Henry Cavill. They had just started filming the next Superman movie and they were going to be shooting scenes up in Michigan again, like they had for Dawn of Justice.
“I’m just saying, we should really consider asking for a few days off and just going up there and scoping it out. I mean, it’s Henry fucking Cavill. He’s less than an hour away from us. Right now. Less than an hour. When is that ever gonna happen again? I can use some of my vacation time at the theatre, so at least I’m not missing out on money from them. It’ll be a blast. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? We don’t see him? I mean at least we’d have tried. I’d rather try than stay down in stupid Ohio with the knowledge that he’s that close.”
“Do you really think Ann’s going to give us time off to stalk Superman?”
“We ain’t gonna tell her what it’s for! Just lie, c’mon now.” I laughed. I dropped a box of Gingham body cream into the understock drawer and broke the box down. Out of the corner of my eye I caught movement, oh goodie, a customer. Samantha was quicker to greet them.
“Welcome to Bath and Body… OH MY GOD!” I turned around and was met with the sight of none other than Henry fucking Cavill, sheepishly running his hand through his now jet-black curls, obviously embarrassed at having been recognized. Damn, am I glad I put make-up on this morning. Alright Y/N, this is your fucking chance. For once in your damn life, be fucking cool. You can do this. You look good, you smell like Champagne Toast, you’ve got this. I pulled my hair down from its messy bun and shook it out a bit before walking over to where Samantha was still trying to collect herself. The store radio started playing Halsey’s Bad at Love and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting out laughing at the absurdity of the situation we were now in. Not five minutes ago we were talking about seeking him out and now here he was in all his brick-shithouse-ness. I looped my arm through Samantha’s in a show of support.
“What a wonderful coincidence! We were just talking about you and now here you are! It’s crazy how the universe works, isn’t it? I’m Y/N, this is Samantha; what can we help you with today, Henry?” I smiled my most adorable smile at him, the one that makes my little cheek dimple pop out, and, honestly, they both looked shocked. Samantha was clearly surprised that I was more capable of speech than she was, and to be honest so was I, and Henry seemed shocked that I would openly admit that we had been talking about him before he got there, which probably wasn’t a great thing to say, but I panicked.
“Well, I was told this was the best place to go for candles and air freshener-y type things. The house I’m renting just has this odd odour that I can’t get rid of. I’ve been airing it out during the day, all the windows open, and I come home and it still smells funky. I know I could just find a different place, but it’s close to a park and that’s been nice for Kal and I don’t want to make a fuss, so…” Henry sort of shrugged, the buttons on his plaid shirt straining with the movement of his broad shoulders, and gestured around the store as if to say “that’s why I’m here”.
“Well, you’ve definitely come to the right place. All of our home care is in the second room, grab a basket, I’m sure we can find you some scents you’ll like.” He walked over to the basket tower to grab one as a couple more customers walked in. Samantha nudged me towards the second room; I was going to have to handle Henry alone for now, it seemed. He followed me over to the Wallflower wall. “So, these are our Wallflowers. They’re sort of like the Glade Plug-ins, I don’t know if you’ve seen those, you plug this diffuser into any power outlet and screw the fragrance bulb in and it diffuses the scented oil into the room. They last for about a month or so. These’ll probably be the best option for you, well these and maybe a room spray or two to start with. The candles are good, but obviously the scent is gonna be strongest when they’re burning and it’s probably not a great idea to light a bunch of candles and then leave for the whole day.”
He chuckled. “No, I’d say you’re right about that. I definitely don’t want to burn the place to the ground. Are there any scents that you’d recommend?”
“Well, I mean, it obviously all depends on your personal preferences. I like sweet scents. I like my space to be smelling like a bakery or a candy shop at all times, so I tend to go for anything like that. We actually still have some of our holiday scents that we’re trying to get rid of and there’s this really great one in that line called Spiced Apple Toddy. It smells like apple pie. I love it. It’s only out during fall and winter so I stocked up. I need it all year long, honestly. I still have so many other scents at home, but like I’m probably never gonna get sick of it, for real, it smells so good. Or I might go every other month swapping between that and Black Cherry Merlot because that’s awesome too. And then there’s Champagne Toast, I mean, that one might be a bit too feminine for you, but I love it. It’s sweet and just a tiny bit citrusy. I can’t do any of the floral or like, outdoorsy scents, they set my allergies off. And honestly there’s some of these that I smell them and I’m like, who is putting this in their house? Like, what nutjob thinks this scent is good? How many people have senses of smell that are this screwed up?” At this point I was rambling, talking excitedly and with my hands, handing him testers to smell and trying to gauge his reactions to know what to hand him next. He didn’t have any bad reactions to anything I gave him until I handed him the tester for Fresh Balsam. His nose scrunched up in the most adorable way and he very carefully set the tester down on the counter as far from him as he could manage. He handled my word-vomit good-naturedly, with a small smile on his face, nodding and chuckling when he thought something I had said was funny. Our fingers brushed a few times as I handed him the testers and after the third time, I began to feel like it was deliberate on his part, but it couldn’t have been, could it? He couldn’t really be interested in me. He’s Henry Cavill. I’m just, well, I’m just me.
Me, with my two minimum wage jobs, still living with my parents, inching ever closer to 30 years old. Why would he want any of that? Why would he be interested in me physically either? I mean, he’s literally flawless and I’m short, overweight, I eat like shit, I don’t exercise, hell, I barely know how to put on make-up correctly. Yeah, I look good today, but that’s not par-for-the-course.
He put a few each of Cinnamon & Clove Buds, Black Cherry Merlot, Limoncello (for the bathrooms, he said), and Laundry Day (for the laundry room, obviously) in his basket along with enough of the plugs so he’d have one in each room. He also grabbed a Black Cherry Merlot and a Limoncello room spray off the shelf next to the Wallflower display before turning back to me. “So then, where do you keep this Spiced Apple Toddy that you like so much, or did you hide them so you could have them all to yourself?”
I chuckled nervously and ran my hand through my hair, sort of disbelieving that he was actually paying attention to what I had said. Boys never listen to me when I talk, I always have to repeat myself, but I guess that’s because I usually end up talking to the dumb ones. Henry’s not dumb. He really is just fucking perfect, isn’t he? Pretty and he listens? That shouldn’t be such a difficult combination to find, but for me it had been. “They’re on the table over here with the rest of our leftover Christmas stuff. Hopefully the tester is still there somewhere.” I put my hands in my apron pockets and I could feel the jolt of confidence I had had just minutes before leaving my body. His charm had worn me down, bringing me back to my normal, anxiety-ridden self. I caught the toe of my boot on the corner of one of the other tables as we walked towards the center of the room. I stumbled, but before I could fall his arm was already out to steady me, wrapping around my waist to keep me upright.
“Are you alright Y/N?” A look of genuine concern was on his face and I swear to God I swooned. Like, fuck, I just stubbed my stupid toe, it’s not that serious. I mean yeah, I stubbed my toe and then almost fell into a table covered with candles in glass holders, but like, I didn’t fall, you caught me, please stop looking at me like you care. You can’t give me that much hope. It isn’t fair. And goddamnit I love the way my name sounds coming out of your mouth. Like, fuck it’s never sounded so good. This isn’t fair, why is this happening?
“Yeah, Henry I’m fine, just a stubbed toe. Thank you for…you know.” I gestured down to his arm, which was still around my waist. The sound of me bumping into the table drew the attention of the rest of my co-workers, however, who were now coming out of their various positions to see what was going on and to make sure no one had broken anything. Samantha popped her head in from the front room and Kelynn and Mira came out from the cashwrap with Pilar and walked to the edge of the third room to peek in. All they saw was me, blushing profusely, with Henry Cavill’s beefy-ass arm still wrapped around my fucking waist. “Everything’s fine guys. I promise.”
“Holy shit, is that…”
“Mira!”
“But Kelynn that’s fucking Superman!”
“You can’t cuss in front of him Mira, he’s a customer!”
“Will you guys cut it out? You’re embarrassing us in front of the hunky British dude!”
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. How about we all pretend like this isn’t happening right now? Pilar can go back to the cashwrap, you two can go back to whatever it was you were doing, and I’ll go back to what I was doing, namely making a damn sale!” I extricated myself from Henry’s grasp so I could shoo them back towards the cashwrap. They turned and walked away, bewildered looks on their faces. I turned back to Henry who was shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his curls, leaving them messier than they were before. An errant one fell over his forehead and I wanted to brush it out of the way, but he just left it.
I walked over to the table that I was originally heading for and found the Spiced Apple Toddy Wallflowers. There wasn’t that many left, but there was still a tester. I grabbed it and spun around to bring it to him, assuming he hadn’t followed me, but as I turned, I found myself going face first into his massive chest. I put my unoccupied hand up to steady myself and pushed on his chest to force him back. He was just too close. Why was he so close? He opened his mouth to say something but I beat him to it. “Here. This is what I have in my bedroom right now, this is Spiced Apple Toddy.” Oh god, why did I say it like that? The one I have in my bedroom. Jesus Christ. He quirked his eyebrow at me and cocked his head to the side, smirking a little. Instead of taking the tester from me, he took my much smaller hand in his, guiding it up towards his face so the tester was close to his nose. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. A serene smile spread across his face and I felt my face get hotter. He opened his eyes, looking down into mine. Fuck I could drown in those ocean eyes.
“Oh, I like that very much. You were right. I think that one’s my favourite.”
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Hi would it be alright to ask for a matchup? Alice in borderland would be awesome but if not then squid game would also be awesome! My name is D (I mean it's a nickname). I'm 17 but 18 in a few months. I'm a female, she/her and I'm bi/pref for men.
I'm 5,2' and 98lbs. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I have a resting b!tch face and I wear all black to try and seem unapproachable cuz I don't wanna be approached lol. I have pretty major eyebags idk why I sleep a lot or at least try to. My appearance is pretty plain I don't really wear makeup or dress up I mainly stick with leggings and jumpers. Even tho I'm small I'm not weak like I try to be strong so I workout everyday cuz I don't wanna get jumped and not be able to do anything lol.
My personality is ISTJ which basically means I'm super introverted/ I don't drink or party I don't enjoy it I keep to myself. I'm make decisions with logic rather than the heart. I've been told I'm brave but I think it's mainly just impulse or stupidity or adrenaline addiction lol. I would like to think I'm loyal. I'm a sagittarius which doesn't really suit me I don't think but I can be charming when I want to lol. I'm pretty determined like when I set my mind to something it has to get done no question. Some negative traits cuz nobody's perfect are that I can be a bit selfish, very skeptical of everyone/pretty big trust issues, too independent like I don't want to rely on anybody and I've been told I'm awfully blunt which I should mayne fix. I'm also a bit judgemental apparently I give everyone an up down look before talking and I didn't even notice it's just automatic.
I like working out, dancing, laughing. I love to laugh. I enjoy most music, mainly rock or kindof indie idk like a lot of guitars. I love late night rides and winter and horror movies/scary stuff. I did competitive gymnastics and figure skating for a while so I really like to skate. I took up rollerskating aswell cuz the rinks were closed for so long.
I'm pretty chill but I cannot stand slow walkers, serious pet peeve of mine. I also can't stand incompetent people idk maybe it's just people in general. I don't like busy places, I'm a germaphobe too like can't stand mess or dirt. guck maybe I'm a but high strung I try to be chill tho.
In a partner all I ask is loyalty, also to laugh with me. I'm really not that judgy I would just like to be accepted. Kindof an outcast my whole life I would love if someone would actually put up with me lol cuz I think I can be a bit hard to be around.
anyways sorry its so long I hope that's alright :)
it’s okay! i prefer these to be longer so that i get a better idea on who to match you with!
I Match You With…
Chishiya!
- chishiya would much rather prefer someone who was more introverted like himself to be with and when he saw you he was like “:0 i want.”
- i have a feeling that he would just love horror and gore films as he’s a major in the medical field and he wouldn’t be super weirded out about it, he would actually make comments about how whatever they were doing wasn’t accurate
- chishiya is the same with how he judges people on the first meeting, but when he met you he didn’t feel or sense anything, which was odd to him
- he definitely wouldn’t mind the adrenaline rushes that go through you and make you do certain things, he just sees it entertaining and lightly teases you about it
- chishiya can be humorous when he wants to be, usually when you two are alone but he doesn’t even try to be funny, it just happens
- he would insist that you show him how you skate and did gymnastics because he just thinks it’s super fucking cool like how can you do that shit with your body??
- overall he would be a 10/10 bf for you, and he would be extremely loyal the whole time!
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AH ChitChat Notes 3 22 21
Chitchat 32221 with Jeremy , michael and matt ft disembodied voices of lindsay and maybe kaden , gus in chat and joins
Jeremy: Kaden spoke up because of donuts earlier… Michael: Jacks time is over now… but he will be on stream later. Jeremy: oh yeah schedule. Slight last minute changes doing Fall Guys first cuz S4 came out… me michael lindsay and matt did a letsplay in it earlier today … gus will be doing fall guys this stream (eyyy)... oh yeah and i wanna impersonate what jack does. Matt: do it. Jeremy: and if you're watching on the site we can see your chat like FatHippoHippo wrote BET in all capitals … yeah i just wanted to get into the spirit and be like “what would jack do, what would he think is funny” and that was it. Lindsay: alsoone of those WWJD bracelets from the 90s What Would Jack Do… (matt: ive repurposed them) Jeremy: so how are you doing? Lindsay: good weekend i guess , just telling Matt we watched Big Hero 6 yesterday (Jeremy: aw hell yell) still an awesome movie , kids loved it. Jeremy: where they scared of - idk if he has a name the kabuki villain… *looking it up* apparently its Yokai… guess they never really say it cuz that's generic. Lindsay: that's VERY generic. Michael: IVE GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL *facecam becomes void* Jeremy: ok spoiler alert for Big Hero 6 but just looking at the wiki… it makes an audacious claim. It says “professor robert calahan OR ALSO BETTER KNOW as his villain name Yokai”... is it? Lindsay: well its based on a comic right so i guess canonically he has a name…. But to answer your question No they werent scared … anyway something we noticed upon rewatching is that 2 characters before a MAJOR event happens to the fistbump… but DON'T do the explosion… like oooohhh foreshadowing. Michael: not really foreshadowing if they keep doing it throughout the movie , if anything its foreshadowing that like… hell… whats the robots name - baymax learning it… not really foreshadowing the building explodes (gen notes MAJOR EVENT) … what blew my mind was that movie has a post credits scene. Jeremy: oh yeah was it like with the dudes father. Michael: Fred yeah! Remember remarking upon them entering the house theres a portrait of the dad and i just went “his dads just Stan Lee… just a portrait of him” Post credits scene and guys talking to painting and - wasn't paying attention but he like hits his head on it and the wall opens up to show a superhero room with paraphernalia everywhere and Stan Lee walks in like “son we got a lot to talk about” Jeremy: Chat asking about if i watched the wrestling PayPerView… remember how i updated you last that the guy died in the ring after being set on fire (Michael: lemme guess hes a zombie now) - yep exactly last night a hand reached up and grabbed someones leg , he came out of the smoke with a melted messed up mask so yeah…. Hes a furry (i think?) zombie clown Michael: hey wait a minute let me read the chat , someone named Gus said “whoa no idea there was a post credit scene” “what is a fastfood restaurant combo wish would open” Lindsay: Miss my KenTaco Hutt… Michael: idk im usually just in the mood for SOMETHING , not looking to combine , only time is when i want a certain food and they don't have the same sides i want other places have . like Sonic is amazing for sides , apps and drinks… don't care for entrees , but if i could get Sonic sides at McDonalds or Taco bell or something.. Jeremy: guess in the same vein id combine Dairy Queen with a lot of places (Matt: i was about to say) to get a BLIZZARD with whatever. Matt: that's how it usually goes anyway , you get the food , you drive by the Dairy Queen and get a desert - you don't get the food at Dairy Queen cuz why - just why Lindsay: i mean theres icecream but there isnt really fastfood places for other deserts… like theres not really a Cake or Cupcake place (Matt: not yet *tilts head at camera like “you know what i want”* ) there IS the cupcake ATM Matt: alright checking the google… Michael: Matts checking the driving distance. Jeremy: another questions whil matts looking up cakes (Matt: oh i already have it) nevermind then. Conware asks “what is your fave controller for console and whats fave controller you own” Jeremy: Idk really… i know for a while everyones was the Elite 2 Michael: yeah just most comfortable. Matt: well that's like a specialty type… if its a stock one then the switch pro controller is pretty good. Michael: i mean i also have this 8Bit do SNES bluetooth controller thing , love it Lindsay: i love the nintendo switch controller grip… makes it feel like it curves comfy around your palms Jeremy: the XBOX sea of thieves one is great (Matt: i was about to say…) got a glow in the dark skull in the middle , RT is like a gold tooth , is partly see through Matt: and it comes with some exclusive stuff for Sea of Thieves Lindsay: yeah like Motion Sickness. Matt: i got one that's just a donut. Lindsay: gave me an idea… you know how theres Pez Dispensers (matt: heard of them) yeah and how you don't really even use them right you just eat the candy and play with the thing ( *matt nods approvingly* yeah about right) what if we invent a controller where every once in a while it opens up to give a snack. (Matt: yeah like everytime you get an achievement, Jeremy: yeah i did good! Just go up to the controller and eat it) “You Are Good Boy” Matt: be funnier if it just throws at you “everyone have a fave seasons and followup do you like seasons where you grew up or where you are now?” Jeremy: i mean springs probably my fave its easy to be outside , not boiling hot nor snow everywhere… great time to camp and fish , falls cool with changing colors… texas is like “do you want REALLY hot or hot?” Michael: i do really like Fall on the East Coast but its like - yeah i miss it and its nice to be there when it happens where its light jacket weather. I used to wear sweatshirts all the time - i don't bother with long sleeves in texas cuz i know im taking it off within 30 min… never knew about the Water Cup thing until i lived in texas where restaurants just HAVE water cups… blew my mind its free - because people will drop dead . noticed they just have this seperate stack of clear cups which is i guess like “i BETTER not see any soda in that cup THAT'S A WATER CUP!”. I don't like it when its 105 degrees but i do like being able to just wear Tshirts most of the year and not dealing with snow Lindsay: i like Fall the most cuz like its blend of i guess i embrace the basic bitch stereo types of fall , want my pumpkin spice latee but ALSO i know halloween is coming and ive said before how THAT'S like my religious holiday so like… i come alive. Matt: probably fall , maybe winter. I don't go out much but fall is like the right amount of cool but not TOO cool. Jeremy: over the weekend me and kat went to a town called rockfort (i think?) which is like right on the ocean , the weather was a little cold for it , like 50 maybe and the sea breeze made it chillier… im not really a beach person just more water. You say beach and you think like Boogie Boarding Bros (Michael: whoooaah boogie. Lindsay: beach volleyball) yeah .. id reather be on a rocky shore than a sandy beach. Michael: youd rather be like a mermaid sitting on the rocks *jeremy laughs loud* is that what you're saying Jeremy: yeah Matt: attracting sailors to their DOOM Lindsay: i gotta send you a link but theres this one TikTokker i guess that i watch that talks about that an eastern european beach she went to and was like “i cant wait to go on my beach outting yeah!” and she gets there its rocky , really windy , noones there and goes “ooh its really cold” Matt: depends the kind of beach to me… for me East Coast beaches SUCK *jeremy nods yep* its water you cant see anything in its terrible Lindsay: that's also texas beaches , all brown. Matt: its just one of those things where you get in the water and your like “ok… at anymoment i could be attacked by everything around me” Michael: well that can happen on land too matt (Gen Notes WELCOHME TA JOISEY!!!) (paraphrasing jeremy here) Jeremy: theres this guy who flys a drone out over beaches into the ocean , and he released the footage… apparently due to there being a lot less people now theres just Great White Sharks that go relatively close to beaches now… there are times where hes filming people playing and like 10 ft away is a fucking shark ya know just swimming. And cuz they're really far away hed be like “id see it , film it , then go to a lifeguard and show it like “oh btw…” “ Michael: so you know 2 hours ago someone may have been eaten. MattL he should put a speaker on the drone to like announce the sharks like HEY! DEATH OUT THERE!. Lindsay: “whats that Dronie? Theres a shark in the water?!?” Jeremy: and it was funny seeing that behavior where everyonce and a while a shark would be swimming then someone would do something near it not seeing the shark and the shark just goes “fuck dat” and swims away MattL god dude…. So close to death *gus joins* Lindsay: oh you're the guy who was like Texas beaches have Tar Gus: oh yeah i grew up in texas and i thought all beaches were like that just “oh you don't sit on the tar”
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Fall In Line
Yours and Natasha’s story about how you escaped H.Y.D.R.A.
Warnings:mentions of violence, violence, abuse, ANGST, small amount of fluff, Natasha being a funny but annoying badass. And You kicking some serious ASSSS.
Word Count: 3.5k
Taglist: (Lmk if you wanna join!) @wednesday-add-em @angrythingstarlight @sea040561 @kmuir1
A/N: first time writing for Natasha Romanoff, lmk how I did. Feedback is appreciated! And this is based on the song “Fall In Line” by Christina Aguilera feat. Demi Lovato(I get chills everytime I hear the song, its so fucking good). Btw, in the story the lyrics r a bit out of order, to fit with the story better, so don't get pissed at me😬
Little girls, listen closely
'Cause no one told me
But you deserve to know
That in this world, you are not beholden
The smell of wild flowers filled the air. Sunshine poured on your soft skin. Your long, beautiful hair was swaying in the light breeze. And your smile was contagious, so much so that your friend was grinning with you.
You and Natasha were sitting in a field, watching the white, fluffy clouds make shapes to be determined by your imagination. You were putting daisies and dandelions in each other's hair. You were both having such a fun time together. You and Natasha were laughing and smiling so much that you were leaning on each other for support, and comfort.
You and Natasha lived in an orphanage in Russia together. You met when you were about three years old, and now, the two of you now were about six. And you had become friends so quickly and had become so inseparable that you both would scream till the caretaker’s ears bled. And they were forced to keep you two together. The orphanage was so overcrowded that two little girls running out into a field was the least of their concerns. Besides, the two of you liked a little fun now and then.
As you were giggling and fooling around in the field, you never noticed two peculiar men sneaking up on you. They wore black pants, black boots and black shirts, so they looked like living shadows. And they had scary masks from a horror movie covering their faces. And they were both carrying heavy rifles in their hands, making them look all the more terrifying.
Their steps were muffled by the sounds of children laughing, the perfect opportunity to take you both away. They grabbed you and Natasha. You were both clinging onto the flowers in your hands, shaking and trembling with fear. The air wasn’t so happy and cheerful anymore and the sky turned a somber gray.
Natasha and you were screaming your hearts out, like your lives depended on it, and sadly, they did. You kicked and punched as hard as you could, but nothing you did was affecting the man holding you in his arms. Natasha was screaming your name, as if you could do something mindblowing to help one another, but it was useless. And soon the field of flowers and sunny skies became a distant, almost forgotten memory.
~~~
All the youth in the world will not save you from growing older
And all the truth in the girl is too precious to be stolen from her
It's just the way it is
Maybe it's never gonna change
Days turns into months. Months turned into years. You barely had a concept of time anymore. You barely realized that you had physically changed. You weren't a six year old orphan anymore. You were an adult, trained assassin, working for the most feared organization in the world: H.Y.D.R.A.
As was your friend, Natasha, but you haven’t talked to her since you were kids. The place had a rule for no prisoners to talk to one another. When you were in your first years of training you would smile at one another if you happened to pass one another in the dark and gloomy hallways. Now, you guys didn’t even bother to look up from the floors.
Unbeknownst to you, H.Y.D.R.A. was making you a killing machine. You never questioned what the guards did to you, since you knew it would come at a severe punishment. You learned a lot of things while training. You were now fluent in Russian. Since you were a girl when they first found you, you didn’t fully understand the language yet, but now, you knew every single word in the language. You were also fluent in English, Romanian, Spanish, Italian, Chinese, and Latin.
You learned basic and advanced hand to hand combat skills. And you were trained by the best in the business. The Soldat. The Winter Soldier. The man lost in time. He trained you in what the guards called “The Red Room.” The Soldier trained you in hand to hand combat, firearms, other weapons and other special necessities for missions. He did his job well, and he transformed you.
But Natasha became what they wanted her to be quicker than you. H.Y.D.R.A. dubbed her the first “Black Widow,” with you second. You and Natasha would spar against each other, but you barely recognized the fact that you used to be friends. That past, at least you thought, would never come back.
You did go on missions together, but only 5 times out of all the countless missions you went on. But most of your missions were solo, easier for you to concentrate on your target. And sometimes you were accompanied by the legendary Winter Soldier, only if H.Y.D.R.A. didn’t think you would be able to handle it on your own, or with Natasha. And you never failed a mission once, since you knew what would happen if you did.
You do not owe them
Your body and your soul
Two, three
Right, two, three
Shut your mouth
Stick your ass out for me (oh)
March, two, three
One, two, three
Who told you you're allowed to think? (yeah)
You were lying in your cot, staring at the oh so entertaining ceiling, memorising the cracks and ridges that only few would spot the details of. Your hair was splayed out on your pillow. You were wearing pajamas, although they really weren’t, you just called them that. They were gray, or maybe a camo-like green?, but you couldn’t really tell from the light hanging over your cell. Your cell was a gate, on all four sides, allowing for privacy whatsoever, and allowing the guards constant surveillance. As if the cameras watching your every move weren't enough. There were even signs on the outside of your cell that said “Cells are under constant video/audio surveillance,” making it feel as if there were millions of eyes on you.
You barely paid attention as you were taken out of your cell and into a training room. Two soldiers escorted you on the way there. You changed your clothes in your normal mission outfit. It was a leather leotard, with an ammo belt and a knife holster. You were also covered by a leather jacket, also holding tons of more weapons inside. And you had a gun holster on your thigh, giving you a sexy yet deadly appearance.
Your feet shuffled on the ground as you made your way to a special room. One you had never been in before. But your eyes were glued to the floor, even though you couldn’t see the door in front of you, you had memorised the floorplan of the building, so you always knew where you were. But now it is different.
Cameras were covering the room. There were cameras on stands, tables, walls. Everywhere. There was a white wall behind you, probably for you to stand in front of. You guessed they were going to have you film something. Maybe a weapons demonstration or a fighting video. The lights on the ceiling were so bright, that they made your eyes stay glued to the floor even more.
But before you could even comprehend what was going on, the soldiers standing on either side of you now turned you. Now, you were facing the soldier to the right while your back was facing the soldier on your left.
The soldier on your right had applied pressure to your gut, making you stick your ass out at the soldier behind you. Your arms were just lying there beside you, but the soldier behind you had now changed that. He grabbed your elbows, backing you arch your back even more. Your arms were in an “L” shape, the soldier holding them not loosening his grip on them. Then the soldier in front you made one final move. Since your head was looking at the floor still, he roughly grabbed your chin, making your eyes move from the ground to his spooky mask.
Then, in one swift motion, both of the guards had turned you back to the cameras. Your eyes looked down once more, before eyeing the camera right in front of you. Your eyes, clouded with numbness, looked blankly at the cameras in the room, watching your every move.
Then, the guard on your left gave you a gun. A loaded 22-Magnum. Then he pointed to the left side of the room, where there was a giant bullseye, waiting for you to put bullet holes in it. The guard on your left did that same thing, handing you another pistol and pointing to another target, this time on his side. Then they both moved out of the way for you to do your thing.
You made sure they were both out of the way before you started shooting your intended targets. A thought crossed your head, that you should just shoot the guards and make a run for it. But, many cons floated into your head at the same time. For starters, there were more guards in the building so you wouldn’t stand a chance alone. Two, you would most certainly need help, but with Natasha a prisoner as well, you would need to plan a way for you to get her and yourself out of there safely.
As soon as your thoughts evaporated out from your skull, you imagined the targets as the soldiers, wishing that you could just escape from this hellhole.
Your precision is unmatched. Only one person could rival you: Natasha. Only one person outmatched you: The Winter Soldier. But you were on top right now. You didn’t even have to look at the targets to get a perfect bullseye on both sides. Your anger was rising in you as you imagined taking down all of H.Y.D.R.A. Your determination was showing as you paid more attention to your aim, making sure you wouldn’t miss one shot. Cause you would mentally hurt yourself, saying you were trained for this and that you shouldn’t miss even one. But you would all be physically hurt, by H.Y.D.R.A.
Then you did a superb move, one that would make even the Soldat envy you. You tossed both guns behind your back, timing the throw so that you could catch both guns with ease, and you spun around in a circle, your left foot pivoting like a ballerina. (Fun fact: you also trained in ballet when you were younger. The people training you said that it would make you more limber, flexible, and a harder opponent.) You were being recorded, so you wanted to show H.Y.D.R.A. who exactly they were messing with. You caught the gun tossed by your right hand and it held it in your left and vice versa. You got down on your left knee and crossed your arms in front of you, pointing the weapons at the targets once more. You aimed and fired, and you could hear a pin drop after the sounds of gunfire and the smell of ammo subsided.
You looked to your left and right and were pleased with the results. You didn’t look for long though, you knew you were so good and you didn’t need proof. You blew the smoke coming out of the guns, trying to look like a badass, and it just got the guards agitated that you were wasting time. So they took the guns away from you before you did something, and carried you back to your cell. And you began hatching a plan in your head, one to save yourself and your friend.
~~~
Show some skin, make him want you
'Cause God forbid you
Know your own way home
And ask yourself why it matters
Who it flatters
You're more than flesh and bones
Natasha found herself in the same room as you. Hours later though. She was training against some pewny soldiers, so she was pretty bored and unimpressed the whole time. Her red hair was straightened, up to her shoulders, and split down the middle. She was wearing her signature black catsuit, the one that had tasers attached to the cuffs of her wrists and the one that made her look super curvy and sexy.
The guards did the same things they did to your body. But once they were finished, they didn’t give her guns or targets. They gave her dummies to fight against, to show off her hand-to-hand combat skills for the cameras.
Natasha liked to have fun, a lot more than you did. It was her idea to go out to that field all those years ago. And she still had fun while she was being trained to be an deadly assassin.
Her type of fun was to tease the soldiers. Not with words, no. With movements, physical gestures. Nothing too serious though. It was often biting her lip while trying to find the eyes underneath those masks. Or batting her eyelashes, sticking her hips out, whatever she wanted.
The guards put up with it, mostly because they liked when she did this and it was something that they could get used to. But they would never tell.
Today was a little different though. As she was preparing her tasers and grabbing a pocket knife from her holster, she made noises, explicit noises. When she was getting her knife, she made it seem as if it was stuck in its holster. So she moaned, quite loudly, just enough to get the guards attention but quiet enough so that the cameras didn’t pick it up. She also made one final move before giving the ok. She lowered the zipper, the one that exposed her breasts. She lowered it just enough to be eye catching, but not so revealing.
She got the satisfaction she was hoping for, much to her pleasure. She caught the guards tilt their heads just a bit, not to be noticed by a normal person. But when you work for H.Y.D.R.A., nothing ever goes by unnoticed, especially by Natasha.
She smirked as she delivered blow after blow to the punching bags, tasing them, kicking them, doing whatever she could to impress the people that would be watching her in the future. She grunted and groaned as she moved, getting some frustration out of her system. One punch sent the dummy flying across the room. That was definitely enough to leave a mark. So, once the guards saw that she stopped moving, they took her back to her cell, just like you. Natasha had all her fun for today, or so she thought.
~~~
It's just the way it is
Maybe it's never gonna change
But I got a mind to show my strength
And I got a right to speak my mind
Later that night, a plan had formed in your head. And now was the perfect time to strike.
You had gotten up to use the bathroom, accompanied by one guard, not two this time. He opened your cell gate for you and followed you inside. Normally guards let you walk into your cell by yourself. But as soon as he entered, you knew what he was doing, and now was the time to set your plan in motion.
He pushed your shoulders back, making you sit on your bed. You sat down on your cot, pretending to be oblivious to his intentions. He hovered over you for a couple of seconds, before slowly moving closer and closer to you.
You were in chains, chains that were handcuffs to your wrists and feet, attached by a long chain down the middle. Giving him the perfect opportunity to show you who is boss.
He started to lean closer to you. He placed his hands on your shoulders, but now it was your turn to be in control. You elbowed him on his side and then punched him in the stomach. He had his mask on, so you couldn't hit him in the face, to your disappointment. Then you stood up and kneed him in the groin. He fell to the ground, allowing you to straddle his hips. You did so and strangled him. With both of your hands. His body flinched for a couple more seconds and then he fell limp in your grip. You quickly made your way off of him and grabbed his key card, to help move around the building more carefully. By now, the guards watching the cameras saw you and sent more soldiers down to put you in your place.
But you headed to get your outfit, getting ready to fight the battle ahead. With one last cock of your 22-Magnum, to show it was loaded, you headed out, ready to save you and your friend.
~~~
It's just the way it is
Maybe it's never gonna change
But I got a mind to show my strength
And I got a right to speak my mind
And I'm gonna pay for this
They're gonna burn me at the stake
But I got a fire in my veins
I wasn't made to fall in line
I wasn't made to leave my fate
I'm never gonna fall in line, oh
Natasha had no clue what was going on. She was just going to the bathroom. In her catsuit, in chains identical to yours, accompanied by one guard. As she was walking down the hallway back to her cell, she heard footsteps behind her. Not from the guard, but they sounded like heels, silentos to be exact. “Y/N,” she thought. As she heard your steps get louder, she knew what was going to happen. She cracked her knuckles, letting you know she was ready.
You walked closer to Natasha, and it was show time. Natasha elbowed the guard in the stomach and he doubled over in pain. As he was clutching his stomach, you stole the taser he had in his pocket and used it on him. He fell to the ground and was knocked out cold.
As soon as you used the taser on him, you took the keys from the previous guard and used one of the keys to unlock Natasha from her cuffs.
You guys just had to walk a little bit further and then you were free. Free from this hellhole. Free from this life of torture and killing and suffering. Now the two of you could actually live.
All the guards H.Y.D.R.A. had in the building had gone up against you, so there was nobody left to fight. And it made it easier and faster to escape.
You found a ladder leading up to an entrance in the ceiling. A not so secret entrance. Natasha headed up the ladder first and you were close behind. But as she disappeared from the ladder, you gave one last look at the hallway. At the memories you had here. You were a completely different person than when you first came here. You were a child. Now, you are a young adult. Now you were free, not an assassin who wasn’t able to choose when to kill. Now you were free, with your best friend by your side.
But you had one thought, almost preventing you from being happy about your new life. The Soldat. He was still here, still being tortured, abused, being a living science experiment. You felt bad for him. You knew he was being made into a killing machine for decades now, and it pained you to think if that was you. You would probably give up fighting the Winter Soldier mentality and just kill yourself. To see him fight it for such a long amount of time was heroic for you. If you and Natasha could get out of here, you knew he would. And you hoped he would escape someday. He deserved it, the world and more.
Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard Natasha calling your name from the surface.
“Coming!” you said, following the ladder up to the ground above you.
You realized how surreal everything was about the world above. You and Natasha had resurfaced back to the place you were taken all those years ago. It was deja vu. The sky was the bright blue it had been on the day you left, the clouds were just as puffy and white, the trees were just as strong and tough, the flowers were just as colorful and vibrant.
You both felt like you walked into a dream, but it wasn’t a dream. It was a long forgotten memory.
But as you both realized you escaped, you both beamed at each other. You guys smiled for the first time in years. And it felt amazing. You grabbed each other in a tight embrace, one that was long overdue. And you just stayed like that for hours. You gave each other eskimo kisses here and there, but you just needed to feel each other after all those years for not being able to say a word to each other and not being able to hug one another. No words were said. All the words were being said in the longest hug you had ever given and received.
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all of them except 77, 78, 81, 92 and 96
Ember, I know this was you. I’m doing it, but that’s 93 questions you’re asking for so they’re going under a cut.
1. Talk about your first love.
There have been a lot of those, so let me talk about the first one I really remember. I was in eighth grade, at the time, and she wasn’t exactly a great person looking back but she was cool and confident and she liked me, and she called me her best friend, and probably the best school-related memory I’ve ever had was her tackle-hugging me from across a classroom. I didn’t even realize I liked girls until she’d pretty much left my life completely. Maybe I’m looking at it through rose-tinted glasses now, but I think that’s okay, sometimes.
2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion?
Most of my favorite songs are Owl City, especially the older stuff. It has a soft, dreamlike vibe to it that I find really pretty even when it’s depressing.
3. How’s your heart feeling right now?
Pretty good, I think?
4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do?
The fun stuff. Bath bombs, makeup, fancy shampoo. Retail therapy actually works pretty well for me, even if a lot of the time I don’t even buy anything.
5. What’s your skincare routine?
Um... Shower?
6. How did you get to be so beautiful?
Natural talent and carefully learned confidence.
7. Do you have any stuffed animals?
Oh, do I. I have like, seventy Webkinz, and that’s without getting into anything else. You could say I collect plushes, even if I don’t do it as actively now. I have a couple of Eevee plushes, too - I’d say I want to own all of them one day, but I’m like, 95% sure that’s not possible.
8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?
Once, we went to Prince Edward Island for a week, and my mom surprised me by meeting up with my best friend’s family, who happened to have gotten a room at our hotel for one night. I think that probably wins.
9. Favorite thing about your room?
That it’s starting to look like it belongs to me, even if I want to move somewhere else.
10. Opinion on love?
It takes work, but it’s worth it.
11. Are you affectionate?
Around people I’m comfortable with, definitely.
12. Who do you look up to?
The people who have enough confidence to be unapologetically be themselves.
13. Favorite poet?
Robert Frost. When I was eleven, I found a book of his poems, and I loved that book so much I didn’t pay any attention in English class at all.
14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?
There’s a lot of songs that make me happy. Hard to go wrong with the Pokemon theme, though. As for things that calm me down... It’s Alright by Mother Mother and Misguided Ghosts by Paramore have both got me through a lot.
15. Do you play an instrument?
No. I was supposed to learn piano in seventh grade, but I couldn’t read the sheet music so they never let me play, and I tried to learn guitar multiple times but it never stuck for the same reason.
16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?
I paint, though not as often as I’d like to! Using acrylics, usually, but watercolors sometimes.
17. Do you dance? What style of dance?
I took ballet as a child, til they kicked me out of class, and I still enjoy dancing but I don’t remember any of what I learned.
18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?
Gemini. I think it might have some kind of truth behind it, but I’m not really one of those all-or-nothing people. It’s just for fun, you know?
19. Favorite old film?
I don’t watch a lot of them. Does The Aristocats count?
20. What’s your hairstyle?
It’s long and wavy. I’m getting blue highlights soon.
21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?
Light rain. The kind that dries off before you get inside, when the sky is perfectly clear, but it starts falling anyway and it stops just as quickly.
22. What upsets you most about the world?
That however hard we try to fix it, we’re unlikely to get very far.
23. Are you in love right now?
Yes. At least, I think so.
24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!
I have a girlfriend. Is that the same thing? She’s cute and funny and she thinks the same things about me for some reason, and she knows exactly how much of a disaster I can be and hasn’t run away yet.
25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!
I have a cat, Little Prince. His sister died about a month ago, and she was the one who usually kept me company (total lap-cat), but ever since he’s usually either close to where I am or comes when I call him over.
26. Do you have a lucky number?
Any multiple of seven, but especially fourteen. They’re my favorite numbers for the same reason.
27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?
I try to wish on stars, when I see them. Eyelashes I’m usually more annoyed about than anything.
28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?
I think anything has the potential to work, given the right amount of effort and intent. That said, I don’t think you’re going to accomplish anything drastic.
29. Do you believe in magic in general?
Oh, definitely. Just look at the world we live in. How can you not believe in magic when it’s all around you? The night sky without air pollution, the sunlight dancing on the water, candy cane white hot chocolate - it’s everywhere, in everything.
30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?
Everything. There’s something beautiful in everything, if you look for it. Today, let’s say the feeling of sliding around on a hardwood floor in fluffy socks, dancing along to one of your favorite songs.
31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?
As a kid, I hated pink. I like it now, though. Blue is my color, light blue especially (particularly with star patterns), so I’ve always liked it.
32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?
Am I alloawed to say wind chimes? I’ve always thought they sounded super pretty.
33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?
I love them both.
34.Who makes you happy?
My friends. All of them, in different ways, the people who are still in my life for various reasons. I love them.
35. What makes you happy?
Light rain, strong wind, good music. My cat’s soft meow when I wake him up by accident. White peppermint hot chocolate. Fall colors, string lights, Halloween and winter holidays. Ice and snow and skating, dressing up for no apparent reason. The trick to it all is finding new things every day.
36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?
A house big enough for a family. A degree of some kind hanging on the wall. A life where I’m making things because that’s what I love, and I can try new things just for fun, where I don’t have to worry about money so much. The chance to get married someday, maybe.
37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?
I do! Unless someone else is doing it for me, I generally keep to lipstick and eyeshadow. I’ve never been especially picky about what brands I use, but I usually go to Nyx because it’s on my usual route when I go on shopping trips, and I’m kind of attached now. Plus, nowhere else I’ve been in person has as many bold colours.
38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?
I like wearing dresses. My favorite that I still have is a longer black dress, and it’s in serious need of either repair of retirement, but I got it for $20 as a cosplay outfit last year and it served its purpose. I wear it around still, sometimes, because it’s generally an easy fix.
39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?
Yeah, a few times. I vent to my friends, usually, and then I eat ice cream and listen to gnash for a while and eventually I start to feel better.
40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?
41. Introvert or extrovert?
Kinda both? It’s complicated.
42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?
Is that... Fuck, is that the one with the letters? I think I got ENFP last time, and when I was younger it was INFP.
43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, a or an angel?
I’ve had people tell me I have ‘fae vibes’ before, so let’s go with that and hope it’s not offensive.
44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?
I don’t remember enough of them to feel good about picking one. I basically only listen to music I’m recommended now.
45. Parlez-vous français?
A little, by virtue of being Canadian and having driven through Quebec. Not enough to carry on a conversation.
46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?
Prince Edward Island, hands down. It’s gorgeous.
47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?
When there’s a light breeze, and the perfect song is playing, and the people I love are there. When we’re laughing with each other.
48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous!
I don’t think it does, honestly? But it does tend to happen when I’m happy.
49. Favorite shoe you own?
These ankle boots I got secondhand that have little metal stars on them. I’m gonna be so upset when they finally wear out and I need new ones.
50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?
God, no, I’ve tried. Any heel that’s too sharp or pointy or tall is a major problem for me. It’s part of what makes finding shoes such a pain.
51. Do you feel loved?
Not always, but yeah. When I remember, or when I ask, or when I’m reminded.
52. How do you express love to those you care about?
I try to tell them, but I’m also the type to engage in constant teasing. I’m the friend that punches you in the arm as a show of affection.
53. Favorite term(s) of endearment?
The more creative ones. The basics don’t do much for me, honestly, but it’s more about the person saying them anyway.
54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?
Make me feel like I don’t have to try so hard to feel like myself.
55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been?
Walking the downtown city streets in winter. It was cold, sure, but it was gorgeous and I finally felt independent for a while.
56. Are you happy right now?
Yeah, I’d say so.
57. What makes you smile?
Bad jokes, among other things.
58. Do you laugh a lot?
Yeah. A lot more than I used to.
59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?
Punk/scenecore. They’ve really influenced my more recent style choices.
60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?
Love, definitely.
61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?
With someone I love, and the other people I love there too. Somewhere beautiful. I think I do, someday, but it’s not something I’m so worried about.
62. Favorite flower?
Roses. Blue Moon Hybrid Tea Roses, in particular, are especially pretty.
63. Favorite artist?
I don’t really have one. I do enjoy looking at art, though.
64. Favorite music artist?
Owl City.
65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?
I don’t know. People seem to think I’m kinder than I believe I am. It’s important to me, yeah, to try and help people and to do nice things.
66. Ever made a playlist for someone?
A few times. They were never anything special, as far as I’m concerned.
67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?
Long, warm baths and cuddling with my cat. Warm blankets and stories with happy endings.
68. Early bird or night owl?
Night owl. I’m a night person.
69. Morning routine?
Wake up, do nothing for a while, actually get out of bed and figure out breakfast. While that’s going on, try and figure out if anything important is happening today.
70. Night routine?
Get comfortable, then write or daydream til I fall asleep.
71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?
Self-confidence and a willingness to help others.
72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?
I tend to hold back my feelings til they all fall out. So I end up crying at least twice a month, usually. It helps, yeah.
73. Do you like hugs?
From people I feel comfortable with.
74. When was the last time you kissed someone?
On the lips? Never.
75. Are you small or tall?
Small. I’m 5′0.
76. Do you like wholesome memes?
Yes. They’re cute.
79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?
Nope. I’ve never lived outside this city, only been on trips.
80. Do you like plane flights? Airports?
I’ve only flown once, and I was two, so I don’t remember it very well.
82. The beach or a forest?
Sand or bugs? Depends on the day. Today, though, forest.
83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?
Evening, usually.
84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?
Yeah, when I’m stressed.
85. Favorite kind of tree?
Either maple or pine. I’m Canadian, what can I say?
86. Do you care about the health of the Earth?
Yes, but there’s only so much one person can do.
87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?
Field trips. Adulthood is sorely lacking in field trips.
88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?
I used to. These days I still read, but it’s mostly fanfiction. My favorite books, though, are Tamora Pierce’s Emelan series and the first two books of Kenneth Oppel’s Silverwing trilogy.
89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?
Trick-or-treating.
90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have?
I try to let the people I love know that I love them.
91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.
I have pretty great hair.
93. Do you worry a lot?
Constantly.
94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?
The city. The countryside’s nice, but the streetlights and the city skyline are what make me feel at home.
95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?
I actually don’t know how to tie laces, so no. I’ve never been able to pick it up. I might get someone sense to, if I could find cool enough laces.
97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness?
Yeah. It feels good to make people happy, you know?
98. How’s your day/night going?
Pretty good! I did just spend over an hour on this, but I finished it, so that’s an accomplishment of its own.
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So I watched Bill & Ted 3 and it was cute, I laughed out loud four or five times. It was very tonally and atmospherically similar to the first film... just its... vibe. Very like the first one. Which I guess is great for people who love that movie, but my deep and abiding love for Bill&Ted really comes from Bogus Journey, not Excellent Adventure. I love the characters and quote it on the regular, but the first film I think is more funny and endearing than it is good as a film. The story is stretched pretty thin to sustain feature length, the pacing is uneven, it’s all a bit rambling and amateurish. Whereas Bogus Journey is actually brilliant. I’ve mentioned before, but I watched it properly for the first time a couple years ago and unexpectedly sobbed uncontrollably at the ending because it was so nice.
The unrelenting, unaffected optimism of these goofy films is extremely moving to me, that ending just epitomised what makes them great.
And, as I was pretty confident would happen given the writers’ own opinions about the sequel, this movie walks back and retcons my favourite part of Bogus Journey for... no real reason. The ultimate solution it arrives at is... not awful... I guess... but it’s just not what you want. I get what they were going for and it’s a sweet idea, but the ending of Bogus Journey will stand as the ending for me. Face the Music just wasn’t worth it to lose that. The direction they took the story makes perfect sense to get a third film out of the premise without wildly altering the feel, but I didn’t like it much. And I don’t like that B&T become their own villains in the future; the whole conceit of the characters is their insuppressible good nature. It doesn’t make sense they would persevere for 25 years basically unchanged, but 5 more leaves them so embittered they are radically, radically altered. When they were their own villains in Bogus Journey it was because they were evil robots. And even evil robot Bill and Ted are totally devoid of bitterness or resentment because they’re still Bill and Ted. Like, that was part of what made it so funny.
There’s a robot in this which could have been great and was a funny idea, but is extremely underdeveloped as both a concept and a character. He comes off as kind of a discount version of Death. Who is also in the film anyway.
I must commend the actress playing Ted’s daughter, because she is doing a fucking bang-on impression of him that’s full of subtle ‘Tedness’ details that shows she legit studied his performance in the originals. And she doesn’t go over the top, it’s not a caricature, it’s just exactly right for a B&T movie. They even gave her Keanu’s coveted ‘Ted Hair’, which really made me laugh when I realised.
Alex Winter slides right back into the shtick, pretty much flawlessly, which is really amazing considering he hasn’t acted in decades. (Speaking of which, everyone- WATCH FREAKED.) Although they toned down the bodacious language, which... guys, no. Do not. I think they were afraid it wouldn’t work any more and would be embarrassing, but you have to go with it. Be fearless.
But yeah. Amusing. Not an addition to the ‘verse I want to take on board, though. Won’t be adding it to ~the canon~.
Rufus’ daughter is pretty pointless and isn’t given much chance to be funny. Ursula’s mum from George of the Jungle was an inspired casting decision as Rufus’ wife and the new Most Important Person in the World, also wasted.
So it’s roughly equal to the first film in overall quality with much weaker characters (the historical figures definitely don’t get to shine nearly as much though you’d need to add ten+ minutes to give them enough time to do so and it was probably a good idea not to drag it out), but it is still funny and endearing. I did love the running joke that Ted is awkward with himself
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Untamed Winter Fest Day 13: Family
Wherein Lan Xichen experiences his very first Jiang Holiday Extravaganza. (Also on Ao3).
“You’re just--you’re just going to bring him? To Lotus Pier? Just like that? You don’t want to maybe wait until next year? Are you---are you sure he can handle it?”
Jiang Cheng stared at his brother over their lunch table.
Wei Ying rubbed his nose and shrugged. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not about Xichen. You know I love him, and you with him. You two together. But you also know how your mom is this time of year. You know the Lans don’t celebrate Christmas. Even with their basic knowledge of it, there’s having to dodge all the red bows and garlands and santas in the store and then there’s Lotus Pier at Christmas. It’s a neon animatronic freak show that punches you in the face, steals your pride and your lunch money, and then dropkicks you once more for good measure with the holiday spirit.”
“She’s not that bad,” he said.
His mother was enthusiastic about Christmas, perhaps aggressively so to some degree, but she could be reasoned with--bartered with at the very least. The singing stuffed cats in place of the musical nativity set that played ‘What Child Is This?’ for example. Stuffed animals in place of the actual lambs she was tempted to buy for little Yuan’s first holiday season with them. Mistletoe only placed on the main pathways of the house and not every five feet. She could make compromises when met with better offers or a convincing argument.
Few things in this world made his mother truly giddy, but something about Christmas did, and they’d all grown up indulging her. Granted it had turned their mother into a bit of Holly Jolly Yuletide Monster, but that meant she could be easily distracted by anything that lit-up and played a Christmas carol.
“We both have two full weeks off. Two full weeks we intend to spend together,” Jiang Cheng said. “So, it was either deal with Mom’s increasingly dramatic speeches about me abandoning the family and our traditions because of my demands over Thanksgiving or drag Xichen to Lotus Pier, slap a Santa hat on his head, and tell him to keep calm and merry on.”
Wei Ying whistled low.
"What?" Jiang Cheng demanded.
“Nothing," Wei Ying said, fidgeting with his napkin. "Just, you might want to ask Mingjue if you can borrow some of his homemade brew. Xichen might need it to get through the next two weeks. Does he know almost all of the Jiangs and the Yus will be there? To stare at him? The only person you’ve ever brought home for the holidays?”
“They’ll only all be there for Christmas Eve and Day. And New Year’s. The rest of the time they’re at their own homes,” Jiang Cheng said.
He had, in fact, kept that small, truly insignificant detail from Xichen. Even combined the Jiangs and Yus couldn’t hold a candle to the seemingly unending amount of Lans. The biggest difference was, well, the Yus were loudly opinionated and unafraid to show it and the Jiangs were either like Yanli or like...him.
“He’ll be fine,” he said, more to himself than Wei Ying. Xichen was charming. All he had to do was nod and smile and he’d win most of the family over.
His brother scoffed. “Better ask Mingjue for two bottles of that home brew.”
Wei Ying absolutely deserved to get Jiang Cheng’s napkin thrown at him, but he also had a point.
He’d call Mingjue as soon as lunch was over.
**********
“Zhan,” Lan Xichen said in surprise at finding his little brother in his kitchen. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”
“Yuan wanted to visit Jingyi,” he explained. He finished rearranging Xichen’s orchids, like he always did when he visited. “And I came to prepare you.”
“Prepare me?” Xichen asked in confusion. “Prepare me for what?"
Zhan pulled a dvd case out of his coat pocket and handed it to him.
“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” Xichen read out the title. “What’s this?”
“While done for comedic effect, of all the general holiday films out there, I felt this was the one that would best prepare you for Christmas at Lotus Pier. Once it’s done there is a series, I believe called Crazy Christmas Lights, that we will also watch for your preparation.”
His brother could be hilariously funny and sarcastic when he was in a mood, but this was not a joke. His face and eyes both showed that he was completely serious.
“It can’t be that bad,” he said even as he followed Zhan into the living room.
His brother shook his head. “That’s what I thought. And then I saw the polar bears.”
“The what?” Xichen asked.
“They sing and play instruments, like those bears at Disney World,” Zhan said.
Lan Xichen froze in place. “Madame Yu has her own Christmas version of the Country Bears Jamboree?” he asked.
“Polar bears,” Zhan corrected as he took the dvd case from Xichen’s lax grip.
**********
The drive had been long. The boat trip had been uneventful. Lotus Pier remained one of the most beautiful places Jiang Cheng had ever seen in his life as long as he didn't look at their backyard. Xichen still hadn’t started a running sprint towards the ocean to escape, so Jiang Cheng felt that so far it could all be counted as a success.
“Baby, you need to breathe,” he said once he’d parked the car.
“Is this the right time to mention your mother terrifies more than any person or thing I’ve ever encountered in my life,” Xichen said, clutching Pepper’s carrier in his lap.
“That’s just your natural sense of survival,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s my cousins you really have to be careful around.”
No one could prove that Yu Jinzhu and Yu Yinzhu were professional assassins, but no one could disprove it either. It was one of Wei Ying’s more sensible conspiracy theories.
He leaned across the seat and kissed Xichen’s forehead. “Besides, my mother likes you. Even more, she likes and approves of you. You’re going to be fine.”
“Right, of course,” Xichen said, nodding. He still had a white-knuckle hold on Pepper’s carrier and the fabric was reaching its breaking point.
Jiang Cheng put his hands over Xichen’s own and held them there until Xichen’s entire body relaxed.
“Okay?” he asked.
Xichen nodded again. “Should I also mention I can’t stand your father?”
“Hey,” Jiang Cheng said with a true smile. “That makes two of us.”
Xichen did not laugh. Instead his eyes narrowed as he took in the backyard. “Is that...is that an inflatable Santa and his sleigh and reindeer?”
Jiang Cheng took a deep breath.
“So, here’s the thing,” he said as he unlocked the car doors. “Mom has a bit of a collection.”
**********
There was a tiny elf sitting on the mantle of the fireplace in their bedroom. Logically Xichen knew it was a toy or decorative object and its eyes couldn’t possibly be following him and yet he wondered if Jiang Cheng would be horribly insulted if he hid it in the back of their wardrobe.
“Oh fuck,” Jiang Cheng said as he came into the room . “That fucking creepy ass thing. I thought I got rid of them all already. Where the fuck did this one come from?”
He picked it up and marched across the hall to Wei Ying and Zhan’s room, opening the door wide enough to toss it in.
“No, no, hell no,” Wei Ying said opening the door again, hair and clothes a mess.
“Already?” Jiang Cheng asked. “We’ve only been here for an hour.”
“Yeah? Come back with that judgy face once you have a kid to take care of. You’ll grab any second alone you can get too.” He shoved the elf into Jiang Cheng’s chest. “You take the fucking creepy ass elf. I’ve already cleared this room out. No more. I’m not getting murdered in my sleep.”
“It’s not staying in my room,” Jiang Cheng said.
Both brothers fell silent and then turned their heads to the other bedroom on their floor.
“Yanli will kill us,” Jiang Cheng said.
“Yeah, but imagine the Peacock’s screams,” Wei Ying said. He gripped Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.”
“If I go down, I’m taking you with me,” Jiang Cheng said, already headed towards his sister’s bedroom.
“A worthy death,” Wei Ying said, before slamming his door.
Xichen was on vacation. He was not going to play Academy Headmaster to a group of thirty-somethings. He was going to pretend he hadn’t witnessed the last fifteen minutes. He was going to disavow any knowledge of what just occurred. He was absolutely not going to get on Yanli’s bad side. Or Madame Yu’s.
He continued his unpacking, a task interrupted by the eyes he felt on him earlier, and went over to the wardrobe.
“What the fuck!”
The words were out of his mouth before he even processed it. Jiang Cheng came running back into the room.
“Baby?” he asked.
“Why?” Xichen asked. “Why are there more elves?”
This one was sitting on the top shelf of the wardrobe staring down at him. Looking at him as if he knew Xichen disliked him. It. The decorative object that could not possibly have thoughts or feelings of any kind.
“I am so sorry,” Jiang Cheng said, grabbing it and tossing it towards the hall. “I had no idea she’d acquired more.”
“How many are there?” he asked.
Jiang Cheng cupped his cheek. “I love you,” he said.
“How many?” Xichen asked.
“I love you, so much,” Jiang Cheng said.
“How. Many.”
“With all that’s in me,” he continued.
“Jiang Cheng.”
“There’s probably sixty now,” he said. “She makes it into a scavenger hunt for the kids.”
It was only Saturday. He’d been here for less than two hours. He already felt like he was losing his mind.
He was never ignoring his brother’s warnings again.
“For the record, I deeply wish we were in Maine right now,” he said.
“Yes,” Jiang Cheng agreed.
He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “And while I have no regrets about coming here, I can’t promise all of your mother’s horrid little elf creatures will survive this weekend.”
“We’ll blame it on Sugar,” he said.
“And I love you,” Xichen said. “Even if I’m not entirely sure my sanity will survive this weekend either.”
“You’re not afraid of penguins too are you?” he asked.
Xichen laughed. “No, no, of course not.”
Jiang Cheng hugged him tighter. “You’ll be just fine.”
“What does that mean?” he asked, suddenly not feeling fine at all.
“Nothing,” Jiang Cheng said, too quickly. “Nothing at all. Just a little thing out by the tennis court that’s of no concern.”
Xichen took a deep breath, leaning even more on Jiang Cheng, and reminding himself that this is what it meant to be family, to share each other’s traditions. Even if they came with horribly clashing colors and tacky inflatable lawn decor and creepy elves and a Christmas tree in their room covered in bear ornaments. He still had two full weeks of Jiang Cheng in his arms and Sugar, Pepper, and Nutmeg close to him. With his own brother and his nephew. A few tacky lights and the overpowering smell of peppermint everywhere was a small price to pay for such a gift.
He opened his eyes and found one of those creepy ass elves on top of curtain rod.
“My love, I’m going to need you to sweep this room again, because I just found another one.”
“Fuck,” Jiang Cheng said as he turned around and walked over to the window. “How in the hell did she even--she stuck Velcro on it? What in the hell?”
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I never noticed that when Miles fell and the goober broke the numbers 42 (alchemax spider) landed around him
THE KID THAT GOT SCARED BY THE WEB ON THE TRAIN WINDOW IS THE KIDS OF MILES’S TEACHER SHE’S RIGHT THERE
Aaron’s front door is made of metal.
Goober (pbj w/o the bread in a jar) is canonically non-existant in all their universes
Miles has an allowance or something cuz they had to of paid for the food Peter B. ate
Why did Miles even think about elbowing a boulder??? Wouldn’t it have hurt or something?
Peter B. hyperfocuses
Peter B. doesn’t think Miles is a threat since he was surprised when he ran into him
Still no canon explanation for why Spider People can stick through clothing of all kinds
Is Dr.Octavius interacial? She doesn’t have Stereotypical-Caucasian-Hair.
BREIFCASE GUNS ARE SO COOL
Bagel Oneamoneiopeia*
When did Peter B. give Miles one of his web shooters? In the vents or in the hallways?
The best looking Spidey has arrived!!!
Peter B. already ships it lol
BLACK NAIL POLISH IS CANON
Gwen’s dimension is always a bit blurred and shiny
Gwen’s dimension is a week ahead in time than Miles’s
All Orange leaves, no brown, red and yellow....also Autumn leaves in winter supposedly
Is KingPin’s body supposed to represent how inside he feels he’s surrounded by darkness?
Peter B. coulda left but let Gwen pull him back
May you’re being dramatic again no need to fuckin kick the door jeez get out your anger with the bat on dirt or your fists on a pillow
Peter B. is distracted from his greif by Miles, Gwen notices their closeness
Peni and May are both intentionally dramatic, they must love eachother. Noir probably doesn’t mean to be.
Peter B. is reinacting the Despicables meme
May you know that you’re overwhelming Miles why are you participating even if what you said was funny
Peter B. knows the feeling of being overwhelmed all too well
Why does the Prowler’s mask (i think he was recognizing other colors in the subway so probably not colorblind) work like that?
The Prowler is a bit like a cat
May knows “Liv” through Peter probably
“You gotta go man” 👀
I wonder if May has access to money or if she’ll have to rebuild a bunch of the house (cuz she cant pick up the Spider Cave and take it with her)
Probably one of Miles direct first negative gun experiences (his dad probably taught him something in my opinion) and it was killing his uncle aaron (poor uncles they always get shot and poor aunts and spideys for having to live without them)
Miles said he was ready because he’s ready mentally. Physically he doesn’t have control yet.
THEYRE SHOOTING THEIR WEBS INTO THIN AIR WHEN THEY LEAVE MILES’S WINDOW
Oh this is another moment I noticed its “Police Department of New York” not “NYPD”
Also a great time to point out how fucking good the soundtrack and songs in this film are.
I would love if Miles was the kid of another dimensions Peter and Thor but obvs we’d have to have them both be POC and Ooooo the possibilities :D
Miles isnt used to breathing in a suit without nose holes quite yet
They don’t wear the red spider masks?????????
What signifcance is the number 12 to Peter B. and MJ also since when did Mary Jane Watson have freckles?
The spider symbol on the front and back of Peter B.’s suit are different?
The Spideys aren’t surprised but very happy to see Miles show up
I wanna see the vast color palette used for this film
Anyone else find Peni’s Anime style very weirdly smooth like someone took normal anime and put lotion on it? Just me?
Peter B. reaches out for Miles when the truck hits Dr.Octavius
There was a dolphin sound during Miles copying Peter’s epic collider swing
Their super hearing is crazy how do they hear so much fisijcnc
So glad Gwen and Miles are just friends. I hope they have wlw and mlm crushes in the future
Miles’s face matches his new puberty-body now
“You gotta go [home man] ” 👀
Kingpin’s kid has an accent is he stereotipically italian?
*i tried okay
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Wait Endgame is your second favorite? That's surprising! No judgement though, but now I want to know how you rank all of them
Oh goodness… that is TWENTY-THREE MOVIES to rank! That’s hard! This might get very jumbly at around the midway point…
1) Iron Man 3 - Everything about it is so perfect. The Iron Fam being chaotic but also 100% supportive of each other? Tony being the first superhero in history to deal with mental disorders blatantly!!! onscreen!!! The action is top notch. The final battle needs to be taught in film school because it’s literally a metaphor for Tony’s main personal theme of feeling like he’s nothing without his armor, but then at the end he’s able to leap from one to the other because it’s not the armor itself that makes him powerful, it’s that he has the powerbravery/will to leap from one to the other.
2) Avengers: Endgame - Y’all are looking at it wrong. Pretend the Infinity Saga is a TV show and it just ended, and now the rest of the MCU is a spinoff show featuring some of the newer/recently introduced characters, but without the core group of the original show.Suddenly the most important characters getting to leave with a bang isn’t as frustrating.But I also love it because it got my two favorite characters so beautifully right! Tony and Natasha, because they are the two who are deemed worthy enough to be turned into the big talking points of the movies, got to end their TV show finale with a huge glorious heroic sacrifice that will make them remembered forever!The time travel is also REALLY clever. And this is coming from someone who has watched a LOT of time travel shows/movies. There is literally only one movie I’ve ever seen that handled time travel better, and that was Arrival. They did away with the time travel paradox by having every past even just create an alternate timeline. And really? They only asked for suspension of disbelief in service of a joke that was not even that funny and I sort of hated and because they wanted the old Steve scene to have a particular emotional resonance, and having him come back through the portal old… wouldn’t have done that.
3) Iron Man - I firmly believe that this is the best movie in the entirety of the MCU. It was the first, and yet it has never been topped. (and yet it’s #3 on my list rofl)It gave us a very complex lead character with a supporting cast that had a lot more depth in their first outing than some of the OG6 had after four movies (*cough*Clint*cough*Thor*cough* - Thor only got good development after Ragnarok). There was also subtlety to the story that it seems hollywood writers in general (and MCU specifically) is incapable of anymore.
4) The Avengers - the very first time in history we get a massive teamup of superheroes? sign me the FUCK up!Loki was a fantastic villain, the characterization of all of them (except for Clint… sorry, pal) was absolutely amazing, and it’s just pure unadulterated fun. Not much more to say than that.
5) Black Panther - Live Action Lion King (2019) WHOMST? There was a live action Lion King in 2018 and it was called Black Panther!I have a few issues with it fuck YOU vibranium! but it’s SUCH a good movie. T’Challa is quite possibly the noblest MCU character/lead, and the supporting cast are all incredible. I also loved the idea that the villain was… actually… right? Oh he was wrong a FUCK in deciding that the way to go about getting it was through violence, but his end goal was correct.Which is actually very subtle (and again… one of the very few MCU movies to do that) and very important message - because so often people seem to think that violence is the answer. Because the cause is “right” and “just”, excessive violence or threats of violence are considered the proper course of action. But as Killmonger proved, that wasn’t the way. Instead we all need to be like Nakia - who wanted the same thing, but worked for it through kindness, sacrificing her own desires, and making the first tiny hole in the dam.
6) Captain America: The Winter Soldier - I firmly hold that this is one of the most overrated MCU movies, and it’s what started Steve Rogers down his path to… the character he ended up becoming… but it is an excellent movie!Natasha gets amazing development, Sam Wilson is better in this movie than he has been since, and the emotional stakes are very high and very well thought out. Also I’m sorry but the bold political statement of “nazis torturing people is bad” is… not all that subtle? or bold? I don’t know why people are saying that this is the movie that addresses difficult political questions because… it doesn’t?
7) Spiderman: Far From Home - I’m sorry y’all, but I love my boy Peter Parker and if you don’t like this movie then I might just fight you.It was a terrific followup to Endgame, and Peter’s trauma was dealt with in a very realistic and unbearably painful way. Mysterio was the perfect villain for Peter to face, because he forces him to confront his trauma… even though he forces it by first torturing Peter with it, but Peter is forced to find a way to cope with his fears, his grief, and his feelings of inadequacy. Also Peter/MJ is the literal cutest and I love them so much.
8) Avengers: Infinity War - ngl this was a VERY tough battle between this and FFH, but FFH won by just a hair.Thanos is the greatest villain of our generation, quite possibly of the past 2-3 generations. The characters they chose to pair up together worked extremely well - I didn’t know how much I needed the Thor/tree/rabbit teamup until it happened. And then that ending… never before has the world held its breath together in such shared anguish as when we watched Spiderman all the characters we love so much fade away into dust. And there was a great cry in all the world, such as never has been or ever shall be again!
9) Captain America: The First Avenger - Steve Rogers has never been better than he was in this film. Unfortunately it was all downhill after that, but it’s because of this film that he was my second favorite character for a good five years. There is a gentleness to this Steve that is utterly lacking starting in The Winter Soldier, where he becomes this machismo who obsesses far too much over anything he has one (1) emotion about because he doesn’t know how to handle it.This Steve Rogers is emotionally very intelligent, and is genuinely willing to do whatever it takes to do what is right.And I will say, I can understand why he made the decision he made in Endgame, because Peggy is such a brilliant and dynamic and interesting person, I don’t think anybody could have resisted staying with her (if she agreed to have him). @Marvel please bring back Agent Carter, because I need more Peggy.
10) Captain America: Civil War - This movie did a lot of studio mandated things, and because of that was weaker than it might have been, but I hold that it is a very good and very solid movie. Unfortunately, a big fault of the movie is that I don’t think Chris Evans believed in what he was performing, and so couldn’t give it the complexity that it needed (particularly as the Russo’s take input of their cast into consideration when making their movies… actors get to choose a lot of their own character beats unless it’s a plot-mandated beat). And unfortunately, Steve Rogers suffered for this.If The Winter Soldier is the one where he began obsessing over anything that gave him one (1) emotion, this is the movie where that tendency grew two extra heads and turned into a monster. Steve sees this argument the way a soldier who is used to following orders during wartime would, whereas Tony sees this argument the way a strategist during peacetime might. Steve thinks Tony is “trying to win a war before it starts”, while Tony thinks he’s deescalating rising tensions. And unfortunately, Steve is too blinded by his one (1) emotion to see the complexities in the situation.Which, while it frustrates me how poorly this movie did Steve’s personality, those dynamics are very interesting to watch play out onscreen. Plus, the dialogue is sharp and witty, and the emotional beats - particularly everything that has to do with Tony, is some of the most beautifully written and performed drama I’ve seen in a while.
11) Spiderman: Homecoming - This movie did such a good job of giving us a teenaged Peter Parker. All the other movies, Peter didn’t feel like a teenager. He felt like a grownup. This Pete is definitely a teenager - he’s a young kid in a big world trying to be a superhero, and because of that trying to take on problems that he is not experienced enough to take on.The journey he takes on this movie is to learn just exactly that, and by the end he probably is experienced enough now to take on those bigger threats, but he makes the mature decision not to do that quite yet - proving exactly the kind of man he will eventually grow up to be.
12) Thor: Ragnarok - Finally Thor gets developed. Hemsworth really shows off his acting chops in this movie. He’s always been very charming as Thor, but this is the movie where we learned that he’s not just charming, but also a very talented actor. I personally found some of the clumsiness/slapstick around his character a bit much, but Hemsworth performed it perfectly.This is a movie where the story doesn’t actually matter. Honestly… who even remembers the story? The important thing about this movie are the characters, and they are all done incredibly well, except possibly Loki, and even he got some good development at the very end of it. Thor is finally an interesting character, Hela is an amazing villain, Bruce got some fun development, and Valkyrie should have been introduced five movies ago (@Marvel give me a Valkyrie movie! Why the FUCK are we reportedly getting Thor 4 when you could have had Thor stay behind as king of Asgard and giving Val her own movie instead? Especially since all of Thor’s important relationships are dead or in the gotg movie, so he has nowhere to move on to! If we don’t have good characters/dynamics, Thor 4 will suck! It will also suck because the heart of his movies have been his relationship with his brother, and that’s gone now).
13/14) Ant Man and the Wasp/Ant Man - Honestly these movies can just be grouped together, because they’re very very similar, and all I would have to say about one I’d say about the other.
The Antman movies are very light hearted and comical, and the important thing here (like Ragnarok) is not the story, but the characters. The family relationships explored here honestly feel like real families - they just happen to live in a world with superheroes. I think AMaTW is the better of the two, but only by a little bit.
15) Iron Man 2 - This is another movie that was made lesser than it could have been due to executive meddling. Honestly, if you re-cut the movie and just take out all of Coulson’s scenes it becomes a much better movie (and would have gone higher on the list).As it is, Coulson dumps expositional world building that doesn’t really work in the context of the movie.What does work is the chaotic-yet-supportive Iron Fam (once again), and the introduction of Black Widow. I think Natasha might have had the best introduction in the MCU, because the audience was who she was fooling. Her job is to manipulate people and fool them into thinking she’s what she wants us to think she is, and only reveals the truth when she’s ready for it. And that is exactly how we were introduced to her. The underlying plot of Tony struggling with his imminent death was also incredibly well done. He wanted so desperately to not be dying, but there wasn’t anything that he could do. And when he ran out of options, he behaved in such a way to make things worse for him (health wise), because nothing was worse than sitting back and waiting for death to come. Better for it to come quickly and for the agony of just waiting for it to pass. Unfortunately Coulson takes away some of the gravitas of that by forgetting Tony was dying and threatening to taze him…All in all, a weak story but fleshed out by some of the best characters the MCU has ever created and introduced.
16) Doctor Strange - A decent movie with decent characters. There is nothing particularly memorable about it, but also nothing particularly bad about it either (beyond casting a non-Asian actress as the Ancient One).
17) Thor - Sort of like Doctor Strange, a decent movie with a charming lead but mostly terrible supporting cast. I will hold that none of the human characters are actually very good. At all. The best thing Ragnarok did was drop them all like the movie ruining load that they are.Once again, Loki is a good villain and an interesting character, and while Thor is underdeveloped he’s incredibly charming and likable in spite of that.
18) Captain Marvel - Yes I am a woman. Yes I disliked Captain Marvel. Can we move on from that please.If Thor is a decent movie with a charming lead, Captain Marvel is a decent movie with a terrible lead. I do not find Carol to be particularly interesting, and will hold that Brie Larson was incredibly miscast in the role. (if you want to hear why, you can peruse this). In general, it’s also a movie that relies a little bit too much on 90s nostalgia, and as somebody who personally hates when a movie relies on nostalgia to be considered “good”, all of that rubbed me the wrong way. The same applies to Ragnarok tbh, but I didn’t mention it up there because I wanted to rant about wanting a Valkyrie movie. (@Marvel please)Unfortunately, this movie is also not one bit subtle with it’s message. And as a woman, I do not relate to a woman whose only personality trait is “stand up to men”. Every other female character in the MCU is quite capable of standing up to men, and they all have a lot of character outside of that. And I will stop there because even saying that much risks me getting blocked right off of this hellsite…
19) Guardians of the Galaxy - I am definitely in the minority for this one, but I never liked this movie. If the 90s nostalgia in Captain Marvel rubbed me the wrong way, the 80s nostalgia in this movie was rubbing me the wrong way. with sandpaper.But my biggest problem with this movie is that Quill is not interesting enough (in my opinion) to be the central character. These characters all feel like sidekicks, and without a strong central lead for them to be sidekicks to, everything just feels very underdeveloped. I also find the humor in these movies to be very cheap and childish.However, I love that the team very much became a family. I believe in their relationships with each other even if each person as an individual character feels very weak.
20) Guardians of the Galaxy 2 - If you took GOTG1 and flipped it on it’s head, you’d get GOTG2. This is quite possibly the worst MCU movie ever, except that… somehow… it has some of the most heartfelt and meaningful emotional beats out of all of them.I felt every single emotional beat, and the fact that the characters were all sidekicks… actually worked well for this movie. They didn’t need to be more than sidekicks, because the “kick” part of sidekick stands for “kick ass”.However, the story was atrociously bad, and one of the worst the MCU has ever done, which is why it’s below GOTG1. But only slightly.
21) The Incredible Hulk - Does anybody even remember this movie? It was boring, uneventful, had the wrong guy playing Bruce Banner, and was just poorly written throughout.
22) Thor: The Dark World - This movie is a boring, dreary, horribly written, badly directed mess. Some of the stuff up on Asgard was decent except for the fact that they fridged Frigga for no goddamn reason, and everything that happened on earth was goddamn awful, verging on embarrassing. And don’t even get me started on the dark elves. They were rightfully dropped from the MCU and never mentioned again because they are just That. Bad.
23) The Avengers: Age of Ultron - the movie where Joss Whedon fucked up Natasha’s backstory for the sake of his self-insert ship, infantilized Wanda Maximoff by insisting the woman with cleverly displayed cleavage who was clearly in her 20s was actually only 15, did not solidify the team as a family (THIS IS THE MOVIE WHERE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN GODDAMMIT), and disrespected literally every movie that came before (including his own goddamn flick).Wow I just realized that most of the awful shit he did was done to the female characters. Can you believe this disgusting asshole has the audacity to call himself a feminist? Fucking disgraceful…Fuck Whedon. He doesn’t deserve to come within a thousand yards of a woman.
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endgame opinions
spoilers under the cut. i’ve opened my dms so feel free to come and scream/yell/cry/whatever with me. this turned out really long because i start speculating half way through as well as talking about opinions.
let’s start with harley keener, my son, who was literally only in the movie for a second, at the fucking funeral. are you kidding me. and a lot of people don’t know what ty simpkins looks like now?? so even my friend didn’t know who he was until i started physically vibrating in my seat
HOWEVER, he and peter are in the same location, which totally opens up a plausible reason for them to know each other, become best friends/brothers/roommates at MIT
it’s sad that it was just him standing alone though, like no one stood with him, like his mother or anyone. that’s sad.
i wrote a harley keener infinity war fic so like,, feel free to read that to get the harley keener endgame feelings we DESERVE
aNYWAY, good film
i enjoyed it a lot for the most part, like i have so few complaints its unreal
it’s a genuinely funny film that didn’t feel like it was shoehorning in comedic relief, but like the movie was SUPPOSED to be lighter and funnier and drama was happening in between
i didn’t care for the ending in the slightest fuck that
i’m pissed about being lied to by the directors about a canon gay character. they sat up there on their high horses, congratulating themselves for a job well done for diversity, when it was just a fucking extra with no name, referring to a male partner twice. that’s it. you’re fucking kidding me if you think that’s diversity, if the russos truly think that was worth getting our hopes up for.
you know who could’ve been confirmed lgbt? valkyrie. steve. bucky. tony. (and no, tony appreciating steve’s ass doesn’t confirm our bi father, son and holy spirit on screen, unfortunately.)
that’s a fucking joke, russos. i hope they’re fucking ashamed of that.
(i really was watching that final bucky/steve scene and hoping for some hint of, it was always you, you know and got fucking nothing. i barely even ship stucky and i know that it should’ve been them)
the clint/natasha fight on vormir was the best scene, hands down. there’s no competition here. it was the best moment of the film, and despite my annoyance at the russos seeing that the audience didn’t appreciate gamora dying to further a man’s arc, and then fucking doing it again, i really did like that scene
i figured nat was gonna die but i didn’t think i’d actually be sad about it
as soon as they said they were going to vormir i knew the fight would happen and it lived up to every expectation and some
the barton home cold open was fantastic
why the ever loving FUCK was carol danvers so forcefully advertised to us?????? why were we told over and over and over that carol was gonna kill thanos, that she was gonna save the day, that the avengers literally had zero chance without her????? she had four minutes of screentime what the fuck
i appreciate her and peter’s interaction though that was cute and he was wrecked
the peter/tony reunion was cute af, glad they finally got their hug
also, i always wanted peter to call him tony but like that???? nah
side note, don’t remember in the slightest what rhodey and peter said as tony died because i was sitting there going, he’s not actually gonna die, obviously, that’s not gonna happen, they’re gonna make us think he will and then he’ll come back so i missed both their goodbyes
i know it was a 3 hour film but there was space for... more. there should’ve been more. where was rocket and groot’s reunion? where was bucky and steve’s?
where did valkyrie get a fucking pegasus from
bruce and hulk’s new system is hilarious but the fact that he dabbed pains me
bruce wielding the gauntlet was so incredibly left field i loved it, like no one guessed that he’d be the one to bring everyone back. no one
scott did great
i’m not sure if i can settle myself with this five year time jump for a whole host of reasons
1. do we have, officially, a new cassie lang actress? is our iconic abby ryder fortson leaving us for an older actress???
2. far from home takes place, supposedly, a week after endgame. it was one of the reasons i believed tony wouldn’t die, because it seems like a wholly upbeat film - and y’all saw his face at the funeral, he was fucking gone - and it’s even been confirmed to be lighter and funnier, so there better be some fucking low blow that takes peter out on the tony front (but did the writers/directors even know tony had died when they made the film? will it be ignored altogether?) back to the main point:
2a. it’s around the year 2023 and as soon as the entire world comes back, there’s a two week field trip to europe that peter and all his classmates have somehow paid for, signed permission slips for, and arranged, despite the fact that they’ve all been dead for five years. and i mean all. literally the entire main cast of spiderman is still in peter’s class, they haven’t grown up and moved on. the entire fucking cast got dusted.
3. we didn’t really get to see tony and steve make up??? they kinda just brushed over everything
i almost cried seeing ned leeds and peter reunite
okay now the biggies:
i’m Not Okay with tony stark dying
i’m not
it’s not just that he’s my favourite character and i care about him above all others, it’s that his entire arc has been about first, accountability, and second, leaving the fight. yes, it’s also got a lot of heart motifs and mentions of sacrifice too. i understand that. but tony has been wrestling with his father’s legacy and the kind of father he’ll be since day one.
he deserved his happy ending.
not just five years. not just a daughter who will know OF him but not know him, who’ll forget the short time of memories she has in due course. he deserved to grow old with his daughter and his wife and the kid whose photo he placed on the shelf in the kitchen, where he could see it every day.
he does deserve rest. but he deserves the kind of rest where he’s alive.
i have said before that if tony stark dies, i stop watching the mcu, and tbh, might actually go through with it. i don’t know if i really want to watch the films, knowing he’s gone? (and that they could’ve used either the time stone, or, you know, their time travel machine, to go two weeks back, grab that tony and bring him into the present. say, hey, you died, but now you can keep living.)
and steve.
oh steve.
i love steve rogers, i do. i absolutely adore steve rogers. but i’m about the same level of angry about his ending as i am about tony’s.
and honestly? it’s only because it’s not him. it’s not the him we know. my friend said that cap went and settled down because he’d finally learnt the lesson tony had been teaching; that maybe there is a reason to set down the shield and live a quiet, good life. but i don’t like it. it opens time anomalies, inconsistencies. it doesn’t feel like him.
since cap came into the 21st century, his story line has had a motif of moving on. about getting with the times, learning new music, new references, finding old friends and having to decide whether he should hold onto them and risk what he has now, or let them go. he’s been staring at a photo of peggy carter since 2011, he made peace with her life when he visited her in hospital, he let her go when she died. he watched her, through her office window, be director of shield, knowing she was about to have a life that she loved. she has children, a family.
it doesn’t feel like the steve rogers i know to take that away from her
but at the same time, i understand that sometimes, he should get to be a little selfish. he was selfish when it came to protecting bucky over all else, and it ended with mixed results.
i loved the final scene, of he and peggy dancing and kissing, but i think i would’ve loved that scene just as much, if not more, if it had happened in the afterlife. with an about time from peggy.
on the same subject: bucky and sam.
i’m super happy with sam being the next captain america (does this mean we’ve been lied to about the whole falcon and winter soldier tv show? is it actually a captain america and winter soldier show?)
i think bucky knew what steve’s plans were, though it would’ve been nice to have some on-screen confirmation. i think that’s why he seemed relieved that steve was sitting on the bench; he knew what steve was going to do and was glad he’d lived long enough to pass the torch once and for all
HOWEVER, the time anomalies i mentioned:
peggy carter’s established timeline is broken
does sharon carter exist? if yes, does this timeline’s steve rogers still make out with her
if steve goes into the past, the steve that he already was and his whole existence in the 21st century will still happen. that means he’ll look for peggy. that means he’ll find her. with him. in the future/present. steve is therefore made aware of the future - would that then effect how he acts with civil war/infinity war etc? would that then erase the events that happened, limiting steve from going back?
does he tell anyone that hydra is in shield
does he get bucky the fuck out of hydra or does he let his best friend be tortured for 70 years
i think bucky should’ve been a part of the sam/captain america torch conversation. if only because steve’s narrative has focused around bucky since 2011 and it ends with a don’t do anything stupid while i’m gone / you’re taking all the stupid with you - that’s not a satisfactory ending lads
much of me thinks steve and tony’s outcomes should’ve been switched. tony wants a quiet life, steve has said many times that he can’t imagine giving up the fight, living as a civilian in obscurity. i think it’s a cruel way to end it.
plus steve is ALWAYS the one making speeches about sacrifice, but he’s never the one to actually make the sacrifice. it’s always tony.
i’m happy for steve, i am.
i think i’d just be happier if morgan could grow up with her father and if pepper wasn’t a single parent and peter didn’t have to navigate the rest of his life - super powered and not - alone
side note, far from home taking place a week after endgame: nick fury wasted no fucking time jumping on spiderman. like, tony absolutely protected him from fury before infinity war, and the dude’s barely buried and fury’s making his move on peter - not cool
anyway, i genuinely did enjoy the film. i find it incredibly difficult to believe this was shot immediately after infinity war because the tone is so different, and i was remembering all those photos we had from reshoots and realised none of those scenes made it in the final cut.
it was a good film. probably the most emotionally mature of the mcu. not my favourite. i’m angry about the ending. nebula should’ve killed thanos at least once. cool that gamora’s back. sad about nat. devastated about tony. happy for steve on the surface, until i spend 2 seconds looking deeper. loki’s probably alive because the timeline changed and they replaced the tesseract in 1970, not 2012, so officially, loki never goes to asgard jail anymore
but for real: how does steve replace the tesseract in the past when it’s now the space stone? how does he get that past anyone at all?
edit: I SOMEHOW forgot about rescue, the moment i’ve been waiting for for a decade
i love her, i love the suit, i love the pepper was incredibly badass with it with zero hesitation. i wish someone had said the name rescue like i wish someone had said captain marvel - but no dice. it’s such a rad suit and seeing her and tony fight side by side was so cool
edit 2 bc im a dumbass: CLINT MY ARROW BOY I LOVE YOU, YOU GOT ALL THE SCREENTIME U FUCKIN DESERVED
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