#also in my heart of hearts I dearly want it to be a shitty pocket knife. though its more likely a camping knife Martin got from th safehouse

[falling-forever-upwards]

it always amuses me a bit when I see artists draw Jon's finale scar directly in the center of his chest, because a) if you're aiming for the heart, it's a bit to the left (right, if you're looking at someone else), and b) that is exactly where the breastbone is, and good fucking luck stabbing a knife at close range directly through solid bone.

#I'm not complaining or anything I just think it's funny #apparently i have a lot of opinions on the specific appearance and placement of Jon's various scars #maybe I should do one of those full body scar map/reference things #... you know what I actually really should. just to have the reference. #also in my heart of hearts I dearly want it to be a shitty pocket knife. though its more likely a camping knife Martin got from th safehouse #tma

[the-midnight-slasher-official]

vincent sinclair-breeding

.

WARNING: SMUT. FORCED BREEDING. LYING

you have been in ambrose for awhile now. You cant really remember your life before ambrose. Your positive no one remembers you and or misses you. Yes bo is a huge asshole to you, and vincent is always your saving grace when bo is in a shitty mood. and lester would also be a huge saving grace as well, but hes always away doing god knows what.

Bo was huge on killing you because he didnt see any potential in you. but vincent wanted to keep you, and lester liked having you around also. So bo let you stay with vincent. Bo made it clear that your vincents pet and that your vincents problem. If anything bad happens to you vincent would be cleaning up the mess and dealing with your body. But vincent would never let anything bad happen to you. He always keeps you by his side and never lets you out of his sight.

He fell too deep in love to let you out of his sight let alone going to the bathroom. Vincent absolutely hated it when you sneak out of the room at night. He was extremely paranoid that you would leave the house and run away, and tonight just happened to be one of those nights. you were currently laying in Vincent and yours shared bed. you were locked in the bedroom in the house while Vincent worked away in the house of wax. you couldnt escape through the window because he had bo bolt it shut. you stared up at the ceiling determining whether you hated vincent or not. He kept you trapped here, and would never let you leave his side. But you deep down were very in love him, and you tried to hate him because you couldnt ever deal with the rejection from him.

while you were thinking away your worries and anxiety in the bed at 2:23 am. Vincent was also busy thinking about his worries and anxieties while he was drawing in his wax cave under the house of wax. He stopped drawing a long time ago because he began to focus on the thought of you leaving while he was trying to draw, and now thats all he can think about. So he sat at his desk and thought really hard about what could make you willingly stay without him having to force it upon you.  his biggest turn on's he had with you was your size. you were smaller than him and he found that cute and a huge turn on.

He wanted to take good care of you and give you flowers and give you baths. but he already does that. he already gives you a roof over your head and feeds you three times a day, and gives you baths and every morning he gives you flowers. But he also went to bo for advice on how to keep you close, and of course bo being bo said that he doesnt give a shit about what vincent does with you because your not his problem. But bo did suggest getting you pregnant so you could stay with vincent and it would also give him an opportunity to show you that he can treat you well even when your pregnant and be a good father to the child.

Vincent thought long and hard while he sat at his desk. And he chose that he will get you pregnant so you could stay close to him and rely on him. He wants to do it out of love. Because he loves you dearly. he loves you so much that hes willing to kill his own siblings that hurt you in any way or form. He huffed out of exhaustion and closed his sketch book and cleaned everything up, and shut off all the lights. He headed through the tunnels and made his way up to the trap door that opens to a room in the house. he opened the trap door and hoisted himself up out of it and walked through the house to get to his room.

he opened the door to your and his shared and room and noticed that the light was quickly shut off and you quickly got into a fake sleeping position. he sighed and closed the door and kicked off his boots. he walked over to the bed while taking off his wax covered apron and tapped your shoulder. you got scared and jerked and looked up at him, not expecting him to touch you in any way or form.

"what where you still doing up?" he signed to you.

"i was asleep" you said fake yawning.

"bullshit" he signed.

you rolled over facing away from his side of the bed. vincent got into comfy clothes and slid into bed and put an arm around you and played with your hair until you actually fell asleep. a few hours later you woke up and had to go to the bathroom but vincents hand was wrapped around your waist. you knew he hated it when you left the room at night. but you had to pee very badly.  

you very carefully moved his arm and slid out of bed. occasionally looking behind you to make sure that hes still asleep. you looked over at his night stand and seen his mask. It made your heart melt and you smile. He was confident enough to take off his mask around you. you looked at the ground and seen his discarded clothes, and that kinda turned you on a little bit, and you looked at him and seen that he was wearing plaid boxers and a korn shirt. his long hair was all over the pillows, and his body was wrapped up on the sheets. you admired one of his strong arms behind his head.

you quickly turned around and tip toed to the door. you quietly turned the knob and realized that he locked it. you felt stupid for forgetting that he locks the door at night as well. you tip toed to his nightstand and opened the little drawer it had and grabbed the key. He doesnt know that you knew the key was in there. you walked back to the door and quietly unlocked it and went to the bathroom. after going to the bathroom you walked back to the room. you stepped into the door way and seen vincent still sleeping. so you took this advantage to go downstairs and get a glass of water since you didnt get a glass before bed.

you walked pass a sleeping lester on the couch to get to the kitchen. you didnt want to wake him up either. not that he would hurt you or drag you back upstairs. you just didnt wanna wake him up from his dream. he looked extremely exhausted. you went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and opened the fridge to get some fresh filtered cold water. you filled the glass, and took a few huge chugs. you walked passed lester again asleep on the couch and you noticed the front door. sure vincent would be awake for awhile. so you stepped out onto the front porch to have fresh air. and you didnt realize that you were out there for more than ten minutes.

you heard a noise and turned around and seen vincent fuming angry behind you. he was breathing heavy and his eye brows were furrowed. he grabbbed your arm and pulled you through the front door.  he dragged you up the stairs while thinking about what to do with you. because you just flared up his paranoia about you leaving.  as he reached the top of the stairs, he picked you up and carried you to the room. he set you on the bed and grabbed the key out of your pocket and locked the door. he angrily slammed the key on the dresser. he looked at you wondering what to do.

he thought about what bo said. But he wanted to do it out of love when you were ready and not force. But he realized that he had to get you pregnant in order for you to stay with him. Besides he really wants a kid with you, but he knows that you dont want any with him, at least he doesnt think.

you deep down wanted his kids but you never said anything to him. He stared at you while he thought about how to deal with this, but knocking you up seemed to be the only thing on his mind. fuck he wanted you to have his kids. he walked over to you and pushed you down into the bed.

"vincent. i wasnt trying to leave, i promise. i was just getting fresh air" you said. but he shut you up by kissing you. and lifting you shirt. you swatted vincents hand away. but he slid his hand right under your shirt and groped your chest. the small moan you made was all vincent needed to continue. he roughly slid off your pajama pants and stood back up admiring the way you looked so small and vulnerable for him. he loved how you were so much smaller than him. that makes him feel more confident. He bent down and kissed you passionately. he unbuttoned the crotch area of his pajama pants and took his cock out, without taking off the pants. and he plunged into your soaking wet cunt.

he began at a fast angry pace.

"v-vincent" you groaned. he only thrusted faster. grabbing your thighs and pushing them to your chest as he leans over you and pounds you into the mattress. after awhile he reached down to your cunt and began to rub your swollen nub. making you scream in ecstasy. when he thinks you've squirted enough, he pulled out and signed for your to get on your knees. once you did, he signed for you to open your mouth. you opened your mouth and he grabbed his cock and slid in. throwing his head back as he began to fuck your mouth like he did your pussy. pre cum and spit began to drool out the sides of your mouth and hit the floor and run down your chest. his wet balls were smacking against your chin. every moan you make, made him shove his big hard cock deeper down your throat.

after a few minutes of the wet sounds of his cock balls deep down your throat. he pulled out and laid you down on the bed with your head hanging off the end and he slammed his cock back down your throat. he absolutely loved the way his cock made your throat bulge. he wrapped his hand around your throat feeling the way his cock pumped in and out. he quickened his pace and you felt his balls smack your face over and over. you gagged out pre cum and drool out of your mouth around his cock. he slowed down just to hear the pre cum and drool hit the floor.

he pulled out and flipped you back around facing him and he plunged back in full force making you scream. he fucked you faster than ever before making you see stars. the only sounds filling the room was his balls smacking your ass and your loud moans. he looked down at you signed

"do you want my kids babygirl?"

"yes. yes please. i want your kids so fucking bad. knock me up good baby" you moaned. and that was enough for him to bury his cock deep in your sopping cunt and shoot his seed. he then leaned down and kissed you deeply.

"i love you" he signed.

"i love you too vincent" you said as your forehead pressed against his. he looked surprised that you said that you loved him. but kissed you deeply shoving his tongue down your throat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the next morning you walked down the stairs and seen bo and lester staring at you and vincent. you blushed and vincent held the small of your back as he walked with you to the kitchen. he sat you down at the table and went to the fridge to get you something. you know they heard you and vincent last night.

"fuck loud enough?" bo said shooting you both a dirty look.

"fuck off" vincent signed.

#vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair smut #bo sinclair #lester sinclair

[blazedbakugou]

selfish

In which Bakugou finally gives in to his heart’s desires despite his brain’s protests and allows himself to be selfish just this once.

a/n: this is the part two of my Bakugou fic I posted a while back. Though reading the first one will provide more context, this fic can also be read alone.

read part one here!

read part three here!

genre: angst with a fluffy ending

warnings: angst but there’s a happy ending, aged up characters

word count: 2.4k

pairing(s): katsuki bakugou x gn!reader (romantic)

selfish - PnB Rock

Bakugou looked out the car window as he watched trees, buildings, and streetlights disappear from view. The car ride back home from Kirishima’s was a quiet one, perfect for contemplation and revelations. He was so deep in thought that he had failed to notice that this wasn’t the route to his apartment but instead it was on the way to yours.

“Oi, Shitty Hair, where are you taking me? My place is that way,” he pointed his thumb in the opposite direction.

Kirishima glanced over at him before focusing on the road ahead, “well, I just thought that you two needed to sort things out… so I’m taking you to their place.”

“Yeah? Well, what makes you think I wanna talk to that dumbass?” Bakugou grunted.

Except, that wasn’t what he was worried about. He knew that he’d royally fucked up at the party from the week before, and the guilt had been eating away at him since. Bakugou was aware that you had every right to be upset with him and he wouldn’t be too surprised if you didn’t want to speak to him after your fallout. He just hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

“Don’t gotta lie to me, Bakubro. That wouldn’t be very manly of you, besides I’m tired of seeing you look so miserable.”

Your apartment complex came into view as Kirishima turned a corner, entering the parking lot.

“Tch, if this goes wrong then I just want you to remember that it was your idea to take me here.” The blonde scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

- - -

Bakugou wiped his hands against the material of his pants, drying off the sweat that had collected on his walk to your front door. He went over everything he wanted to say in his head before taking a deep breath and knocking on the wooden door. The voice in his head nagged at him louder than ever to turn around and never look back, he could get away in time if he ran, he thought. With each passing second, the voice grew louder and louder until the idea sounded nearly too tempting to pass up. Of course, before he could walk away and flee the scene, you answered the door.

“What do you want, Bakugou?”

He glanced up to look at you, grimacing at the coldness in your voice and how could he ignore the way you’d called him by his last name? Though his mind was soon filled with other concerns, like how exhausted you looked and sounded.

“Just wanted to talk…” his voice came out uncharacteristically timid as if he was afraid you’d slam the door in his face any second now.

You scoffed bitterly, “oh really? Now you want to talk? Thought you were too busy?”

“Look, I know I fucked up. Trust me, I know. So can we just go inside so we can talk?” Bakugou awkwardly shifted back and forth on his feet, hands shoved into his pockets while his gaze remained on you.

A brief silence filled the air between you two as he waited for your response, nervously chewing on his bottom lip in the meantime. You sighed before silently pushing the door open and stepping aside, warily letting him in once again. Shutting the door behind him, you motioned for him to head towards the couch.

“Just… wait here,” you said before disappearing into your room.

The blonde felt out of place as he stood in your living room, decorated with picture frames on the walls. He hadn’t been in your apartment in a long time, probably not since your housewarming party that you threw shortly after graduating from UA. The place didn’t look that much different from what he remembered, you still had the same rug, though it had a few stains now and the scent of the caramel apple scented candles you loved still lingered in the air.

After a few moments of standing in place awkwardly, he hesitantly walked towards the chimney to further inspect a picture that had caught his attention. It was a photo of you and him back when you still attended UA, the very same photo he’d kept in his wallet all these years. Hesitantly picking up the picture frame, he felt himself relax a bit as he reminisced all the good memories he shared with you.

“Miss those days?”

Your voice spooked him enough to clumsily place the picture frame back to where it belonged. Unsure what to say, Bakugou remained silent though his eyes spoke for him. God, he missed those times dearly.

“Yeah,” you sighed before walking into the living room, “I do too. Everything was a lot less confusing back then.”

Still, at a loss for words, Bakugou followed you like a lost puppy to the couch before tentatively sitting down. He felt like an idiot for not being able to use his words and get this over with, but it was your presence that turned him into a speechless fool.

“Are you going to keep staring at me? Or are you going to finally tell me what the fuck is going on?” You rolled your eyes at him from the opposite end of the sofa.

“Uh, yeah I just- I don’t know what to say.” He admitted bashfully.

“You’re joking, right? You don’t know what to say? Why are you even here?”

“No- that’s not what I meant. Obviously, I came here to get some things off my chest. I’m just not very good at this sort of thing and...” his voice trailed off into nothing but silence.

“Spit it out already, for fucks sake. I’m tired of waiting, Bakugou.” Your harshness stung but he knew he deserved it.

“Listen, I came to say that… I’m sorry. Okay? I know that I’ve been an asshole and probably caused you a few headaches,” he noticed your scoff before continuing, “I was dealing with some personal issues and took it out on you and I’m sorry.”

“What personal issues were you dealing with that could’ve warranted you treating me like shit? What could’ve been so bad that you shoved aside all our years of friendship and pretended like I didn’t even fucking exist, huh?”

Up until this point, you’d done a decent job at keeping your feelings bottled up. Years of doubt, pain, and confusion were all kept under wraps until now.

“Do you have any idea how much sleep I’ve lost staying up wondering what I did wrong and why you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore? Do you have any clue how much it hurt when I realized that my supposed best friend didn’t want to talk to me anymore?”

There was a certain rawness behind your words, a glimpse at your emotions that showed how hurt you truly were. Bakugou could tell that you were upset, and rightfully so. He knew he needed to hurry up and get his point across before it was too late, and yet he remained frozen in place. Mind racing at a million miles per hour, heart seemingly beating accordingly. At one point, your words had stopped registering in his head, all he could hear was the sound of his heartbeat.

“Oh, my god! Are you even listening?” You exclaimed exasperatedly.

Bakugou blinked a few times before replying, “yes! I’m listening, I just- there’s a lot on my mind and it’s- it’s a lot.”

You stared at him expectantly, waiting for a response to the rant you’d just dumped on him. It was hard to look at him for longer than a few seconds, and if you looked for a moment longer, you feared that you’d give in and forgive him. But you needed to stay strong and stand your ground, you couldn’t keep putting up with his shit forever and pretend like it was okay. You deserved better.

“I never meant to hurt you,” he sighed.

“Well, you did.”

His eyes flashed a look of guilt before he averted his gaze to his lap, “I know I did, and I’m sorry. Didn’t mean for things to get this bad, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Okay… but I still want an explanation as to why you suddenly decided to change your attitude towards me.”

“I know! I’m getting there, damn it. This isn’t easy for me, you know. I’m trying my best so just… be patient with me.” He frowned.

“Can I… can I try something? Do you trust me?” Your expression softened, body turning towards him.

“Tch. I guess so.” Bakugou grumbled.

“Then I want you to come here and rest your head on my lap, like the old days. Remember?” You offered him a slight smile as you patted your thighs.

A confused expression fell upon Bakugou’s face as he stared back at you. It took him a moment before he slowly let his guard down just enough to do as you said, hesitantly resting his head on your lap. You smiled down at him before gently rubbing circles on his temples, something you did back in UA whenever he strained himself too much during training. A noticeable silence filled the room as he felt himself melting into your embrace, something he had missed dearly.

“Now, go ahead and talk to me. I’m listening.”

Bakugou nodded before taking a deep breath, “you’re too kind for your own good, you know. I don’t deserve this, and I sure as hell don’t deserve you, not after everything I’ve done.”

“Ssh, just keep talking.”

“But it’s the truth…” he sighed, “you want to know why I’ve been so distant?”

You hummed.

The blonde shut his eyes as he tried to gather his thoughts, “it’s ‘cause I was doing you a favor— or at least I thought I was. I thought that by leaving you in the past, with my memories of UA, that I’d be able to make things easier on the both of us. Apparently, that wasn’t the case because here we are, three years later back to square one.”

“Why would you think that would be such a good idea?”

“Because… all my life I’ve been this selfish bastard who destroyed everything in his path to get to the top. I’ve done fucked up shit that caused so much pain, so much destruction and if I could take it all back then trust me, I would. Eventually, I got tired of being the bad guy, so I decided that it would be best if I just left you alone.”

Your hands ceased momentarily, “So let me get this straight. You thought that you’d be doing me a favor by ghosting me with no warning? Didn’t you ever stop to consider just how hard it would be for me to lose my best friend?”

“You think it’s been any easier on me?” He scoffed.

“I feel like there’s still more you’re not telling me.”

“Yeah… I guess there’s no more avoiding it now, is there?”

“Nope.”

A sigh slipped past the blonde’s lips, “Figured. Listen here dumbass ‘cause I’m only saying this once. I didn’t exactly plan on falling for my best friend, but I did. It scared the hell out of me at first, just ask Shitty Hair. It still scares me if I’m completely honest.”

“How long? Since you realized that you had feelings for me?” You questioned.

“Far too long.”

Truthfully, Bakugou couldn’t have given you an accurate response even if he wanted to. He had no idea when these feelings had started to develop, all he knew was that one day you smiled at him and he felt his heart race like never before.

“Why did you wait so long to tell me?”

“Be happy that I even told you because I was already set on taking these feelings with me to the grave.”

“Is it really so bad that you like me?” You frowned.

Part of you knew that Bakugou was never the best at putting things nicely and usually it didn’t bother you. Not after years of growing accustomed to his blunt honesty. But that didn’t mean that his words didn’t sting just a tiny bit. Sure, you were happy that you’d gotten your answer but perhaps you’d be happier if he didn’t seem so bothered by the fact that he had feelings for you.

“You need to stop doing that. Stop talking about yourself like you’re just another damn extra. All my life, I’ve looked down on others. Never thought anyone would ever be as great as me. Yet, here you are and now I realize that I’m the one who isn’t good enough for you.”

Bakugou let out a frustrated sigh before sitting up and distancing himself from you, “So maybe it is bad that I like you as much as I do. ‘Cause, you deserve to be with someone perfect for you and I am far from that… Except, I don’t want to let you go. I’m fuckin’ selfish and I want to keep you all to myself. It’s fucked up, I know, but it’s the truth.”

You didn’t say anything for a moment, too busy processing all the information that had been dumped on you. It was a lot, but not necessarily in a bad way. There’d always been a glimmer of hope in the back of your mind that he felt the same way but you never expected him to ever admit it. Now that everything was out in the open, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with joy. Katsuki Bakugou, your best friend whom you’d been secretly harboring feelings for had finally admitted that those feelings were mutual.

“I’m the idiot that fell in love with their best friend...” the blonde mumbled, low enough that you’d nearly missed it.

If he had said anything else before that sentence then you hadn’t heard it, you found it hard to focus on his words when all you could think about was kissing him. Ignoring the nerves racing through your body, you took a leap of faith and gently shoved him down onto the sofa, leaning in for a kiss. Bakugou’s face heated up almost instantly with the blush spread across his face as evidence, his hand instinctively cradling the back of your head.

You smiled against his lips, “Well, then I guess that makes two of us.”

masterlist // taglist open // requests open

@combat-wombatus @sunflowersuki @blacpiink

#bakugou fluff #bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugou fluff #katsuki bakugo fluff #bakugou imagine #bakugo imagine #katsuki bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugo imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha imagine #my writings

[capitainelevi]

For @pufferssss, happy late birthday!! ❤️

Waiting for sunrise

Words: 2968

The first and last time Levi visits Petra`s grave.

Levi arranged his cravat again, self-conscious at the thought of visiting her for the first time. He stood frozen in place, with a bouquet of orange lilies in his hand. Her favorite flowers. Just a mere coincidence, not an effort on his part, of course. He never imagined he would visit her here so early on. Staring at the newly carved headstone, he tried to set aside the nagging thought that the earth underneath it only held an empty coffin.

What should he say to her?

“Your dad came to see me after the mission, and I had to tell him that I don`t even have a body to bring back home to him”?

“I failed in getting justice for you and the guys”?

“I miss your tea”?

The only words he could spurt out were “Hi, Ral.”

He groaned at his awkwardness and settled on presenting her with the flowers he chose for her. He could feel his hands getting sweaty from anxiousness, much to his confusion. He had nothing to be nervous about. It was just Petra in front of him. His subordinate. Petra, who fought by his side for years. Who swore to devote her life to him. Just his Petra.

Levi sat on the ground next to the gravestone, unconcerned about the dirt he would have to clean out of his clothes at the end of the day. “I hope you can hear me, wherever you are. I like to think you`re listening.” He never spent much time concerning himself with death and the life that supposedly followed it, but ever since losing them as well, he found himself wishing they were happy. He knew that those brats would be wasting the rest they earned to look over him, no matter how much he objected.

“I hope you like the spot I chose for you. It`s sunny, but you also get some shade from the tree. I thought you`d like listening to birds singing." On their free days, he could always spot Petra with a book on her lap, under the shade of the oak tree in their yard. He never dared to bother her, worried he would disturb the angelic aura of the image, content with being fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of it. He never dared get so close to the sun.

"I`m going to bring some flowers we can plant next time I visit. I know you had a green thumb.” Levi omitted in letting her know it only took a month for the plant in his office that she cared for years to wither away in his care. Or maybe it just knew Petra would never be back.

Levi closed his eyes, lulled to sleep by the quietness around him and the feeling of the afternoon sky on his skin, considering if someone would bother him if he moved to the tree trunk to nap. He craved some peace.

“I`m sorry I didn`t get to come earlier. You missed a real shit show in Sina.” He took a glance at his wounded leg and sighed. “It`s not as bad as it looks, no need to mother me.”

Without raising his eyes from the ground in front of him, Levi admitted to her in a hoarse voice- “I kept calling out orders for you, and Erwin had to remind me that you`re not here anymore. Like I could ever fucking forget.”

Despite the emptiness in his chest, he went on- “Eren misses you. I really wish you could help me manage that brat. You always knew what to say to him. Hange misses you. I… everyone misses you.” They left a hole behind that he doubted he would ever patch.

Levi cleaned off some dust from her headstone before promising her he would be back as soon as he could.

As promised, the second time Levi visited her, he got her some daisies to plant next to her resting place. After wiping his hands clean on a rag, Levi sat down against the tree trunk to admire his work. He was sure Petra would be proud of the progress he made regarding gardening. He had even gotten a new plant to replace the one on his desk.

“Tch, not talkative today, are we? That`s alright, you know I always talk a lot.”

Visiting her calmed his restless spirit. His anxiety over the plan, his worry over Erwin`s wellbeing, his longing to have his old squad by his side again, they were all pilling up for the last few days. Levi found himself losing even more sleep lately. But he would never tell her that since it would most likely end in another one of her scoldings.

“You`re missing it, the final push. The brat`s finally going to do it, he`s going to seal the Wall.” Levi hoped that they would be able to carry out the mission. That his squad`s sacrifice to keep Eren alive would not have been in vain.

“You`re not being fair, are you? You already know what we will find in the basement, and yet you keep it all to yourself. Tch, be like that.” Would it all be worth it? The pain, the countless sacrifices, and the lives lost along the way? He wished Petra could answer that for him.

He never wanted to upset her, but Petra always encouraged him to let others help him carry the burden. Levi took a deep breath before speaking again- “I think Eren misses you. He`s been going on about how he wants to visit you again. Bring you flowers. To help me maintain this place clean." Levi rolled his eyes again and the memory. "Like I would ever need his help with that.”

Levi took the ribbon out of his pocket and started fiddling with it, ignoring the slight pang of guilt at how he came into its possession.

“I hope you won`t mind I took that.” The first night he spent without them, Levi found himself roaming the empty corridors of the castle. When his steps took him in front of Petra`s door, the urge to hold on to something physical to remember her overtook his sense of shame. He was aware that her belongings would go back to her parents in the next few days, but he hoped the red ribbon Petra used to tie her hair with would not be missed.

“I took your patch at first. I was going to keep it in my breast pocket. To have a reminder of your sacrifice. But when I saw that kid eaten up by guilt, I knew what I had to do. I knew what you would have wanted me to do with it.” He had no regrets about that. It was the perfect way to honor the kindest soldier the Survey Corps ever had.

When the light began to fade, Levi got up from his spot and left without saying another word to Petra. He did not want to say goodbye to her. Levi felt no need for it since death could be in his cards the next day. And he could get to see her again sooner than he thought.

The third time Levi visited her, it was not with a flower bouquet in his hand but with a bottle of cheap alcohol he found on Moblit`s desk. That night, Levi allowed grief to consume him.

"Erwin died. But I have a feeling you know that already, don`t you?" Levi wiped his nose with the back on his hand, too absorbed in his anger to even care about the disgusting habit.

"Are you mad at him? Are you mad that he chose to sacrifice your life?"

But only silence greeted him.

"Are you mad that I didn`t even question it?"

No answer again. The rage burning inside him overtook him, and Levi smashed the bottle against the headstone.

"Shit. I`m sorry, I shouldn`t have done that." Levi crouched down and collected the pieces of the bottle into his handkerchief. The grief, the anger, and now the shame for denigrating her place of rest were eating him alive.

"We found out the truth, you know? It`s a shitty world out there, Ral. But I have a feeling not even that would have cut off your wings."

Levi found himself craving touch. Her touch. And for the first time in his life, he felt the need to be comforted. He smiled to himself bitterly. How cruel must the deity who created him be for making him desire the impossible?

The fourth time Levi visited her, he brought a special gift for her. A small, odd thing that Armin called seashell.

“We saw the sea today. Just a big old pile of saltwater. But you would have loved it.”

Seeing the brats play in the water with carefree smiles on their face made him yearn for a glimpse of amber hair in the picture. He missed them all dearly.

“I would have to pull you out of it by the collar of your shirt, I bet.” For as devoted and strict as she was, Petra always seemed to cause him distress. Not that he minded it, of course. Levi found himself wishing to hear her timid knocks on his door again, even in the middle of the night. He longed for those times, where she shyly approached him after needing his help in whatever problem she found herself stuck in again.

While that was not his intention when he first came to her, his heart was heavy with words he never said to her. "The world hates us, Ral." He could never imagine how someone would ever detest someone as kind as Petra just for the blood running in her veins. But if he had to be true to himself, a part of him hated Petra as well.

"Maybe I hate you too."

Petra broke his promises to him, after all. Two years ago, when death was imminent on an expedition, and Petra put down her swords in acceptance, Levi fought with her. He made her promise she would make it to the end. That she would be by his side the day they kill the last titan.

"Do you remember your promises to me? Such bullshit. Never thought you were a liar, Petra."

But Levi knew she would have never left him had she had a choice. That she would have fought for even just a second more by his side. But it never dulled the pain of losing her.

With a heavy heart, Levi said his goodbye for the evening, guilty for blaming her for things out of her control.

The fifth time Levi visited her, it was snowing outside.

It was always a wonder how someone radiating light and warmth could be a winter child. But Levi was sure he memorized the date right. It was an important one for him, after all. Levi fought to make sure he had enough time to get ready for celebrating her birthday. She deserved nothing more than a perfect day. Hange had been more than understanding, the wound left by losing Moblit still fresh in their heart.

Levi put the bouquet of twenty-two golden roses on the frozen ground. “Happy birthday. Twenty-two, huh? You`re turning into an old woman, Ral.” The irony of his words made a slight pang of guilt rise in his chest. The passing of time would never touch her again.

“I have your favorite”- he said, lightly shaking the box containing a small vanilla cake. Sugar was a rarity, but getting a cake was an unspoken rule in his squad. Their lives were too short to worry about the money. The first thing Levi noticed about Petra was the faint flower smell emanating from her. The first thing after setting his eyes on her clean nails, of course. On her first birthday that they celebrated as a squad, Levi gifted Petra a bottle of scented body lotion. And some high-quality cleaning rags, of course. But she did not pay attention to that. She and the rest of the Survey Corps never knew how to appreciate the finer things in life. But Levi did not miss the way her face lit up when he noticed something she enjoyed.

“I could never understand your sweet tooth, but today, I`m going to have a slice of cake.” Levi always refrained from indulging in this vice. Having grown unaccustomed to sugar, the idea of sweetness was unappealing to him. He always felt bad for disappointing her each year when she sat in front of him, with a small piece of cake she had cut for him. “Or two slices. Two is more appropriate anyway. If I get cavities, it`s on your ass.”

The ground was too cold for him to sit down on, and Levi made a mental note to build a small bench close to her headstone. He opened the box and eyed the cake wearily, considering if he should change his mind. He took a small bite of the cake, and he almost choked on it. “Oi, this is so damn sweet. How the fuck could you eat so much of it?” But it did not stop him from finishing his slice.

Levi expected to find some flowers lying in the snow or at least some tracks leading up to her grave.

“Does your old man still come around? I`ve never crossed paths with him since the expedition.” Sometimes, when he closed his eyes at night, he could still recall Mr. Ral`s pained expression when he realized there was no one left for him to wait for.

“Maybe it`s for the best. I bet he doesn`t want to see me again.” To see the face of the man who was supposed to protect his daughter. The face of the man his daughter wanted to devote her life to. The man who could not even bring him a body home to bury.

“I`m a shit. Ruining your birthday with talk like this.” Levi was never good at this. In his spot, Eld would have teased Petra about her first expedition. Tell her how now that she was a big girl, she ought to refrain from soiling herself again. Petra would turn red from embarrassment and elbow Eld in the ribs. Gunther would point out that despite their age, they are still children. And proceed with teasing Petra himself. Oluo would try to defend Petra`s honor to gain her attention, which would make him the target instead. Levi gave a small smile at the thoughts. He missed them dearly, more than he would ever care to admit.

Levi crouched down and cleared the layer of snow covering her headstone. He ran his finger alongside the letters of her name, wishing he would have had more opportunities to write it down.

“Happy birthday again, brat.”

The last time he visited her, Levi had company. Gabi and Falco did not give it another thought before offering to help him see her again before they would all leave for a new life. A better life, he hoped. But without her by his side, it was never going to be perfect. Gabi set down the flowers before they gave him privacy. While they never asked him about who she was, they knew Levi must have cared for her a great deal.

"Hi, brat. It`s been a while."

He had so much to say to her, and yet, he did not know where to start. A part of him expected to join her during the last battle, but fate always had something new in store for him. Levi was uncertain if it was luck by his side or a curse to watch everyone he ever cared about die. But life was looking brighter, and Levi promised himself he would never lose anyone again.

"Are Hange and Erwin with you now? How about the guys?" He wished for nothing more than to be there by their side. But Levi knew they would never forgive him if he did not try to live the remainder of his life to the fullest. And for them, he would try.

"Does Oluo still bite his tongue? Did he try to flirt with you again? Is Eld still teasing you? Does Gunther still treat you as a little sister?" Levi chuckled at the memory of their antics. He learned the hard way that he never appreciated them enough before he lost them.

"I hope there is an afterlife. I hope it`s peaceful. You all deserve it. Such a shitty end..." He closed his eyes and sighed at the words coming out of his mouth. "I`m sorry, I didn`t mean it. But you already knew that. I was always an open book to you."

Levi felt guilty for leaving the home they bled for behind, but if he were truthful, it had not felt like home to him for years. With no one left by his side, nothing was keeping him in Paradise anymore. While neither of them voiced it out, he had dreamed of a future with Petra by his side. And for her, he would try to live a long and happy life. Before he got to be with her.

"I`m sorry... for the future I never got to offer you. The one you deserved. I`m sorry for the house I never got to build for us, for the vows we never got to take, for the brats that will never play in my backyard." Levi knew Petra would encourage him to find love, but he never would again. He could never imagine a future by someone else`s side.

Levi glanced back at her grave for one last time before he set out for the remainder of his life- "I`ll see you soon. Wait for me."

ao3

#petra ral #rivetra #rivetra fanfiction #rivetra fanfic #my writing

[miss-choco-chips]

Bird Watchers

It was something like an open secret in Gotham, that even though all it’s heroes were open to help no matter the situation, each one of them had a special affinity to certain matters.

For example, children from all districts knew to yell for Nightwing if they found themselves lost and scared. Small business owners often painted little Oracle symbols on their doorsteps, to warn away possible thieves with the knowledge that Gotham’s cryptic hacker had their eye on them. Working girls would send a quick prayer to the Red Hood before seeing their seediest clients; and as such, knew who to call for if things took a turn for the worst.

And Red Robin… well. His was a very specific bunch.

---.---

Warnings: depression, suicide attempts, overdose comic-typical violence (discussed, not explicit). Hurt-comfort all the way, baby. There’s also one scene, with the redhead, that I copied from the comics.

(it’s almost 2 am, I wrote half of this in one go, don’t @ me for mistakes. I’ll edit tomorrow. Maybe.)

---.---

The first time he stopped a suicide, he had just turned thirteen. The suit still felt wrong, too loose in all the places where Jason’s bigger presence would have been a better fit. Too small, too brainy, not brash enough, not good enough.

He would never think himself worthy, but he was all Batman had. There were no other candidates, not ones he could have thrown the job at without risking Bruce’s identity, so he’d have to make do.

But even so, he had been gaining a little confidence over the past few months. His training with Shiva, and Dick’s and Bruce’s focus on making him as ready for the streets as humanly possible, had ensured he never encountered a situation where he couldn’t handle himself, or get back up in time to avoid any casualties.

Except for right now.

“Hey! Don’t do it, please!”

Yeah, maybe yelling at the man precariously balanced on the edge of a how many feet tall building wasn’t his wisest moment. He’d berate himself later. Now was freak out time.

Said man stumbled for a second before regaining his footing and turning to look at Tim. He couldn’t be more than forty, with a bit of an overgrown beard and tired eyes. He had something clutched in one hand, tanned and calloused from work, the other over his chest, probably due to the scare of having a bat suddenly appearing behind him.

“R-Robin…”, he gasped, shook out of whatever reverie he was going through for a second. “W-what… I mean, why are you…?”

‘Okay, Tim, breath. Can’t call B, he’ll notice, get startled and jump. Can I catch him if he does? My grappling hook is made to withstand more than my weight, but if I can’t handle the strain of swinging us both to safety…’

He couldn't risk it.

“Good evening, Mr…?”

Surprise and good manners made the man automatically answer, “Ed. Ed Harrinson.”

Encouraged, Tim took a tiny teeny step forward. Ed’s entire body shock and he leaned backwards. Tim froze, fear keeping his breathing and heartbeat hostages for the time being, stopping the first and kick starting the second.

“Mr Harrinson, I’d like to ask you to step away from the edge? I’ll call an ambulance for you, and…”

“No!”, the man screamed, suddenly over his surprise, a look of determination trying to masquerade his obvious exhaustion. “If you call an’one, I’ll jump.”

Tim wisely kept the ‘you were gonna do it anyway’ to himself. He nodded slowly, hands emerging from the confines of his cape to show Mr Harrinson the lack of a communication device.

“I won’t, then, but may I come closer? Please?”

It was on the last word, high pitched and wavering, that the man cracked. With wary demeanor, he waved him over, pointing to a patch of rooftop a little far but close enough for Tim to feel comfortable- or as comfortable as he’d get, in these circumstances.

As he approached, he could feel the man analyzing him. The little gasp when he stood by his side didn’t go unnoticed.

“You are… smaller than I imag’ned. Too small for a bat. My boy’s taller than you” he mused, likely to himself, but Tim grasped onto that bit of information and clutched at it with both hands, desperately.

“I’m short compared to my peers, so maybe I’m the same age as your son. How old is he?”, he asked, in his most conversational tone. Fear still had a grasp over both his lungs and heart.

Something in the man’s face shifted.

“He… he just turned fifteen.” Older than Tim, then. Ed continued, “He’s… ”, in a second, the sadness was replaced by pride, “he’s grown up p’tty well, if I say so m’self. A fine young man, that kid. He’ll go places.”

For a beat, Tim tried to imagine his own dad here. As much as he’d hate to see Jack in Mr Harrinson’s place, he couldn't help but wonder if he’d be talking about him the same way Ed spoke about his son.

He… didn’t think so. If on the verge of death, thoughts about his son would probably be the farthest from his dad’s mind.

“You sound like you love him very much. He’s a lucky guy” he said sincerely, a tendril of hopefulness still twisted around his stomach. His hands weren’t shaking any longer, finding solace in the fact that the man in front of him didn’t look like he was about to jump right that second.

Mr Harrinson’s face fell.

“Got served an’ unlucky hand, with an old man like me”, his eyes went back to the abyss, to the empty, poor litten streets below them. “Go ‘way, kid. Leave m’ be. Notta business what I do. Gotta do this f’r my kid.”

Fear came back, full force.

“I- Sorry, but I can’t help but think about your son”, he blurted out, the only bit of information he had about the man was his only tendril of hope. “Someone who loves his child as much as you seem to must be a good father. A father that… would be missed dearly, if lost so young.”

Mr Harrinson looked even more devastated. Tim was doing this all wrong, wasn’t he?

“There’s no other way t’ keep’im safe!'' he yelled, and for a minute Tim thought he had decided to jump then and there. Instead, he dropped to his knees, hands to his head, paper still clutched in one fist. “They’ll get to him if I don’t! Once I’m dead, they’ll just leave’im alone!”

Tim crouched next to him, tentative.

“Who is ‘they’, sir? Maybe I could help…”

Ed was already shaking his head.

“Nay, they said not to go to the bats. Kill my boy, they will, if I do. Seen them offing others for less, so I believe them.”

“Ah, but I’m too short to be a bat, am I not?” he smiled, wobbly at best but sincere. “Besides, who’s gonna tell them you spoke to me? I”, he gestured to his mask, “know how to keep a secret.”

He considered for a beat, before tired shoulders fell, defeated. He offered the slip of paper towards him, unseeing eyes on the street below.

Robin read the note carefully, noting the sloppy penmanship and cheap paper as well as the message itself.

“Mr Harrinson…”

“I know”, he whispered, “I know working for the Black Mask wasn’t my best idea. But m’boy needed to eat, and the landlord was gettin’ impatient. And now, for whatever reason, boss wants me dead. And if I make ‘im dirty his own hands, he’ll dirty ‘em twice and send me with my son for company to the other side. Felix is too young, and he’s good. Can’t let ‘im pay f’ his old man m’stakes, ya hear me?”

Tim thought his words over carefully.

“Mr Harrinson… I don’t think this comes from Black Mask himself”, for one, Blackie wasn’t one to avoid blood on his gloves, nor to send such a shitty note. The man lived for the drama, like most A-listers did, and he’d never forgo the aesthetic of an expensive peachment and beautifully worded threat. Also, if he wanted this man gone, he would have put a bullet in his head the second he clocked in; and if it were revenge he was after, he wouldn't have gotten a warning note but his son’s head sent to him instead.

He folded the paper and put it into one of his multiple pockets, free hand going to the man’s shoulder.

“I know Black Mask’s M.O, mister, and this is not it”, no need to spook him further by describing what it was, though. “Probably just a colleague who wanted your position, or has a grudge for whatever reason. And that, I can help you with. If you work with me on this one, we can both make sure Felix has his Dad making breakfast for him tomorrow morning, and all the days after that. After all”, he smiled, no longer uncertain now that he had firm ground to work with, “your son is going places, and he’ll have to be well fed to reach them, right?”

Mr Harrinson’s smile must have had magical properties, Tim thought. There was no other explanation for the way it returned his breath back to his body.

---.----

The next time he saw a jumper, a few months later, he was slightly more ready for it. Bruce had congratulated him on his work with Mr Harrinson, and the subsequent raid they could make on one of Black Mask’s warehouses thanks to the man’s information, but Tim hadn’t been satisfied until he had read every single mission report on the batcomputer about attempted suicides. And succeed ones, too. Need to know what went well and what didn’t, after all.

So when he saw the fifty-something woman crying on top of a tower in City Hall District, he didn’t almost-crash in his attempt to get there in time. He landed softly, making just enough noise to let her know she wasn’t alone, but careful to not startle her.

“It’s a little cold up here, Lady. If you’d like, I can walk you home?”, he tries for cheeky, despite the cold fear nesting in his stomach like a grumpy, spiteful bird.

The woman, sitting by the edge, turned her head to look at him. The movement called attention to her long, strawberry blonde hair, neatly braided, and her pretty diamond earrings. The face under her perfect make up was gaunt and pale, tear tracks cleaning paths of skin to his trained eye.

Despite him interrupting what probably were very private thoughts, she smiled at his approach, kind and polite. It didn’t reach her eyes, but the intent to put him at ease was generous enough.

“I may be a lady, but any adult worth their salt would insist on walking the young child home, instead of the opposite. Besides”, she patted the rooftop under her,” I live here, so it’s not a long walk at all.”

Tim stepped closer, carefully.

“May I sit?”

“I could use the company for a bit”, she accepted, head turning back to the city below.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, before Tim’s soft voice broke it again.

“Is there anything I can do to help convince you not to do it? Please?”

The lady smiled. “You are a very sweet boy.”

“That’s… not an answer. Can I at least know why?”

“Won’t it torment you, in the future, if we speak now?”, she asked a question of her own, turning to face him again. Despite her words, there was nothing but kindness in those deep green eyes. “If you don’t know me, I’m just another one who jumped. If we talk, I’m afraid I might stay with you long after I’m gone. You are too young for that kind of weight.”

Tim swallowed. 

“That’s easily solved, Miss;”, Dick’s rule of thumb; if unsure, always call a lady Miss before Mrs “don’t do it.”

She spared him a long, meaningful look, and he slumped over.

“Not my best, I know, but I’m kinda freaking out now?” She wasn’t like Mr Harrinson, no motive he could see, no strand to pull and unravel her pain. “Please, just… why?”

She patted one of the hands gripping his own knee. His other hand rushed over hers, sandwiching her cold, slim fingers between his gloved palms.

“There’s nothing left for me. I have a nice job, live in a pretty side of town, have friends, and still… it feels so empty. So… Meaningless. Why even bother?”

Tim chewed on her words silently. He was way out of his depth. A tangible, physical problem? He could solve those, no biggie.

Depression, though… that was a different giant to tackle. Was he even prepared enough to?

A strong gust of wind made the lady with braided hair shiver. Without thought, Tim unclasped his cape and draped it over her slim shoulders.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asked, head tilted like a curious woodland animal. Tim felt strongly protective of her, of this kind, sweet lady, who said she had it all, except the one thing that mattered to her.

“I’m used to it”, he shrugged. “This suit is very warm, but cold air often trickles down from the neckline and… well. Gigs of the job and all that.”

The lady tutted, frowning for the first time since Tim arrived.

“That won’t do, young man. You need a scarf. The nights will only get colder from now on.”

He shrugged again.

“I just… don’t have the time to buy one. And I had one, but… There’s these kids who often hang out by the park, and they were so cold, I just couldn't swing by and ignore them. So I gave them my scarf to share between them. I’m just kinda bummed that I don’t have more to make sure they all stay warm.”

The braided haired lady hummed for a second.

“Well… I knit”, she started, carefully. “I don’t have children or grandchildren to give my final products to, so they’ll go to waste after I’m gone. If you’d take them out of my hands, you’ll do me a favor.” 

Tim wanted to say no, unwilling to make this any easier for her, but the chance of getting her away from the edge was enough to quell his voice.

She went and came back within minutes, a big cardboard box balanced over her shaky arms. He rose to help her, meeting the woman halfway through the roof, a good distance away from the abyss.

“This red one would look good with your suit… oh, and the green one, to keep with the theme! Or maybe the yellow one… Shame pink would be such a bad fit for your colors, because that wool is the best I worked with…”

Tim’s hand carefully took said carf out and looked it over. There were about six others in the box.

“I could take this to those kids I mentioned before… It’d still not be enough for all, but more to share between them means less cold.”

She hummed again, looking at the unfinished projects on the bottom of the box.

“If… If you give me a few days…” she muttered. “I mean, I’m in no rush”, a hand vaguely gestured towards the rooftop’s edge. “I could spare a few days finishing those, and you could take them to these kids you spoke about… and maybe, I can help make a few children less cold with this silly hobby of mine.”

Elated beyond words, Tim nodded vigorously, waxing poetry about her work and about just how excited little Ellie would be with this soft, pretty pink scarf.

His patrol route could use a few detours, after all, if that meant keeping Braided Hair Lady away from her roof.

---.----

He was just returning from a late supply run when he bumped into The Cats.

It was in an alleyway, a block off from Mrs Eloise Denvarow (formerly known as Braided Hair Lady). The older woman had caved after three months knowing each other, of Tim passing by her apartment once every other night to pick up her baked goods or knitted masterpieces, to distribute between street kids and working girls, and told him her name. It was said in passing (“Stop with that ‘Lady’ thing, honey. It’s Eloise”), as if lacking importance, when in reality it meant the world to him. Sure, he’d already known, having run a background check on her the minute he came back to the cave after stopping her from jumping, but there was that implicit vow between them, that she wouldn't tell him her name and jump, wouldn’t make him carry its weight on his shoulders forever, so it was… it was a promise, on her end, a reassurance, and Tim wasn’t even embarrassed that he cried in her arms like a baby for ten minutes.

So here he was, a month after that, still riding that high, when the desperate call from below caught his attention.

There were two teens on the dirty ground, nested among cracked bottles and old newspapers. The girl was lying in the boy’s arms, with him screaming for help.

“Robin! Thank fuck!”, he almost sobs, arms visibly tightening around the girl. Tim wants to ask how he knew to call for him, and if the proximity to Mrs Denvarow’s place was luck or not.

But it wasn’t the time to ask.

The girl was pale, which only highlighted the bruises on her face. Someone with a big fist punched her. It doesn't seem likely, considering just how distraught the other kid is, but he checks his hands just in case; fortunately, too small for that kind of damage.

She’s also breathing erratically and, when he puts a gloved hand to her neck, he realizes just how crazy her pulse is. 

Fear Toxin? Except Scarecrow is still in Arkham as far as he knows, and even if he had gotten away recently, he needs time to develop his precious chemicals. Joker’s Venom and Mad’s Hatter drugs don’t have quite this results, and Ivy doesn’t usually attack street girls just for kicks; they are also too far from her usual turf for her to be a viable suspect.

So, that leaves very few choices.

“Overdose?”, he ventures a guess, hand already fumbling through the pockets on his belt.

The other boy sobs harder, nodding while looking down at the girl in his arms. Tim gently takes the girl from him to position her straighter, to help her down the vial he finally found in his belt. It was supposed to help flush out any chemical in a few minutes, tops; they usually used it when a new type of Crazy Criminal Drug made its way to the streets and they didn’t have the time to properly prepare an antidote. It was strong, and vicious in its path to devoid the body of any and all external agents, which was why it wasn’t a preferred method; who’s to say the civilian in need of a flush isn’t in some important medicine? The Big Flush, as Dick calls it, lacked any kind of finesse or discrimination.

But it was their best shot right now, so there goes nothing. 

There’s silence while they watch the girl’s progress. He doesn’t bother asking if he called for an ambulance; they are obviously minors, probably homeless, and even if the Wayne Foundation takes care of children’s hospital fees, they’d avoid it to keep themselves out of the foster system.

But then, the kid kept talking.

“I… I found her near Grant Park. I… I didn’t know what to do, so I dragged her here. She/” and then he breaks again, hands grasping one of hers, as if letting go meant he was giving up on her and he couldn't bear it.

“Grant Park is only five blocks away,” Tim thinks out loud, mind already a mile away “and Moench’s Row illicit night clinic is about the same distance from there as this place. Why did you bring her here?”

“She… Alley… Oh, her name’s Allison, by the way. And I’m Thomas. Tom.” Introductions, miraculously, seem to do the trick here and calm him down. “Nice to meetcha.”

Tim’s not deterred by his toothy grin, but he has to admit he’s kinda cute. Like, stray cat cute.

Huh. Alley, Tom, cat… Yeah, that checks.

“What happened with Allison?” he presses softly, one arm still keeping Alley up and against his chest, the other hand on her pulse point, taking note of the way the heartbeat seems to be stabilizing. The puking fest was gonna start soon.

“She… It was on purpose.” Tom confesses, eyes going clouded for a while. “She tries to not be home, yknow? I met her in kindergarten, and even then she’d try to hide behind the teacher’s desk in hopes they’d forget about her and close the building with her inside. Anyway, we pretty much live on the streets these days, and Alley… she’s very depressed. I convinced her to see someone a while ago, even stol/ I mean, earned the money for it myself”, he’s quick to correct, eyes glancing up to see if he was smooth enough to cover it; which he wasn’t, but Tim was in favor of letting that small one go, “and they gave her a prescription for antidepressants. She’s been kicking it down the road, but she’s gotten a lot worse and I wouldn't lay off her case about it, so she sneaked back home to get some money from her folks to pay for it.”

By the way the kid looks at her bruised face with unmeasurable guilt, Tim knows she didn’t go unnoticed.

“And… I don’t know. We were supposed to meet up by the Commerce Street Highway, but she was late, so I walked around for a bit and… I saw her there, on a bench. She was/ she was still conscious then, and she told me… she said ‘these aren’t what the doc gave me, but they took the pain away all the same’.” Again, Tom chokes on his own emotions. If he had any free hands, he’d try to put one on his shoulder for comfort. “I don’t even know what she took, or where did she get it from!”

Tim has heard whispers of loan sharks and drug dealres camping toghter by the Fashion Distric, just north of Grant Park, so he can make an informed guess as to how that happened. Also, he now knows what he’ll do the rest of the night, once these kids are safe.

When Tom has gotten a grasp of himself, he pushes again.

“So, why did you bring her here?”

He shrugs, a bit abashed.

“Well… I mean, everyone knows about how Mrs Denvarow is the one giving clothes and food away, and that you help her distribute it. Well, not everyone, but… you know, the street kids. We flagged her building with a yellow skull and everything.”

A yellow skull grafitti, Tim’s mind translates, is the street equivalent of a ‘don’t fuck with this place’ sing. A sort of protective sigil. He wonders how he missed it.

“And… This is kind of your thing, right? So I figured you’d be better prepared to deal with it than some overworked clinic that might even not have enough free equipment to help us. Good think I did, too” he gestures at his friend, whose face is now looking flushed; a sign both of growing health, and of the upcoming puke. Tim’s quick to turn her so her back is to his chest, head tilted down just in case.

As if rehearsed, Alley chose that exact second to empty the contents of her now flushed stomach. Tim would need a sample of that, to catch the responsible dealer.

Tom held her hair away from her face while Tim kept her steady, and she blinked bearily at them after it was done, still not completely lucid but a world away from the girl she was ten minutes ago.

“She’ll still need a hospital.'' Tim informs Tom sternly. The boy had taken his friend in his arms again, softly rubbing her back to help with the uncomfortable ache leftover after puking your guts out. “The Moench’s Row clinic should be able to help with any side effect, but she’s safe for now.”

He nods, thanks Tim again and again and politely refuses his help to take her to the clinic. They part ways, both parties probably thinking this would be the last time they saw each other.

Still, their situation sticks with Tim during the rest of his patrol, and he decides to stop by the clinic, just to check on them. His knuckles still ache from the absolute beating he delivered to the ones who gave Alley the money and sold her the drugs, so he’s in better spirits and hopes to spread it to the kids.

Alley is awake when he visits, and her shy, little smile is enough for the rage inside of Tim to die down. The bad guys dealt with, the civilians safe, everything in its proper place.

He sleeps a bit better that night.

---.----

He almost doesn’t see him. 

Actually, he probably wouldn't have, deeply lost into his own head, had the guy been anything other than a redhead. That exact shade of  orangy-brown auburn, that he would have to pick up from his workbench at Titan’s tower after Bart had decided to ‘keep him company’ during his all-nighters. 

It was ironic, how now he would give anything in the world to have those same strands of hair fucking up his experiments, if only for the impish, ‘please-don’t-kill-me-I’m-an-angel’ smile he would receive in exchange.

“Hey”, he greets, landing softly at the man’s right, sitting a few feet away from him, too tired to even stand up on common ground. “What’s happening?”

He shouldn’t be doing this. He really, really shouldn’t. His own mental health was less than stellar, and even thinking about it made him feel worse. He didn’t deserve to feel bad, not when civilians were in the hospital after his latest fuck up, Cass was missing, Cassie barely hanging in there, the family a mess with Damian’s lovely introduction, and… well. Every other person he knew…

Point being, there must be someone else, in a better inner place, that could speak to this guy. But since no one seemed to be patrolling this route, Tim could only hope to stall him long enough for a more capable vigilante to show up.

The guy looks startled, then angry. He has green eyes, he notices, under the glasses. Not sure why that sticks to him.

“What are you doing here? You’re not going to try to stop me, are you? You’re not going to swing down and catch me in mid air or something, are you?”

He seems defensive, but Tim notices a bit of hesitancy. He has worked with less.

(He wishes he had more energy to do more with what little he has)

“No. If I did, what’s to stop you from doing it again later, or tomorrow? I can’t be with you every second.  If you want to do this, you are going to, no matter how much I don’t want you to. And I don’t want you to, just so we are clear.”

The guy still looks suspicious, but he hasn’t taken that last step forward, so… a win?

“I just needed to sit down for a minute. ‘been thinking about all the ways I’ve screwed up lately, and…”

Auburn-hair deflates a little, turning away from Tim to examine the night sky. “Well, that makes two of us.”

The bat signal lights up the night. His newfound companion looks at it, then him. “Do you need to get that?”

“Nah. Batman will, and if he needs help he’ll call me.” Tim shrugs. He needs a coffee-power-up. He needs to sleep. He needs for his loved ones to not be dead.

He needs to see if there’s anything he can do for this guy.

“So, do you want to tell me why you’re doing this? So someone can go to your family and friends to let them know?”

After all, if it was him who did it (and… wasn’t that food for thought?), he’d like Bruce and Dick to know why. To not… to not blame themselves.

Redhead looks annoyed again. Uh. A short fuse, this one.

“Don’t try any psychology, or try to make me feel guilty about hurting anyone… this isn't about anyone but me.”

He shouldn’t say it, but… “That’s pretty naive,  but whatever. Tell me anyway.” He smirks a bit, then “Unless you’re in a hurry or something.”

He hears the guy (he really should ask his name) as he tells his story. A cold, clinical part of his mind recognizes the symptoms described almost unconsciously by the guy as depression. He would know, after all. The other part of him, the part that made him Robin, that made him human, discarded the label; there was much more to this guy than his illness, and he would treat him like it.

“So here I am,” he finishes, now sitting side by side with Tim, both their legs hanging above the bustling city. “Now’s when you tell me how stupid this is. That other people have much bigger problems, there’s hunger and war, and I’m weak because my problems are nothing next to stuff like that.”

Tim thinks of a father, desperately thinking his death would save his son’s life, when in fact it would have only made it worse. He thinks of a woman, so full of love and warmth, looking into the abyss and feeling empty inside. He thinks of a couple of kids, one hanging to life with nails and teeth, the other hanging to her just as fiercely.

He thinks about himself. About looking at a future version of himself, hating what he sees, and deciding to drown the bud before it can even flower. He thinks of sickly green water, of cloning equipment in a laboratory, of a phone falling to the ground after delivering him with more bad news.

He’s still in a bad place, still probably not the most capable person to be doing this, but a part of him is sure this is the right answer. The only answer.

“No. Your problems are worse than anyone else’s, because they are yours. I’ve... felt bad like you have, and some pretty bad things have happened to me.”

Red hair looks as tired as Tim feels, so it’s a surprise that he has enough energy to glance at him worriedly, hand stretching a bit in his direction in a half-formed attempt to comfort.

“You guys make it look so easy, swinging around, having fun… Things get bad for you, too?”

Tim looks down, and smiles. It’s a sad, bitter thing. He thinks about parents lost before ever connecting to them, about a girlfriend going away, a sister lost to the madness of their lives, about two best friends gone, one even dying in his arms. 

He gives no details. Doesn’t talk about it all, just shares a little bit of himself. It’s only fair, after hearing about this guy’s demons. Misery loves company, doesn’t it?

“So what do you do? How do you deal with it?” the guy asks when he’s done, looking at Tim by the corner of his not-very-dry eyes.

Tim forces himself to remember. “One of the things I’ve learned is that it gets bad for everyone sometimes, Superman, Batman… everyone. I remember that I’m not alone, that things do get better. Sometimes on their own, most times when you work at them. And when I have trouble remembering those things, I find people to talk to.”

Most of those were dead, but Tim is hit with the epiphany that not all of them are. He still has people. He still…

“And you’ve got people like that? That you can talk to?” asks the guy, tone both worried and hopeful. Tim stands up, does his best to look calm.

“Yeah. Your folks, and old friend, even a trained counselor you’ve never met before… someone who has a totally different perspective because they’re not as close to your problems as you are. Maybe they give you advice, and that’s great… or maybe they just listen. Sometimes, that’s all you need. Anyway, that’s how I deal with it when things suck. And it works. Want to come down from there and give it a try?”

The guy gets back to his feet, as Tim watches from behind. Having been in this situation before, the fear grabbing a hold of him isn’t new, but it's different. He thinks he's too worn down. It takes the edge off of any emotion. 

Except hope. Hope still hurts like a sharp knife when it’s snatched away. He prays it won’t be, right now.

Green eyes (Jason- that’s who they reminded him of) look down, deep in thought. Then he turns, smiles at Tim. There’s hope in him too.

“Yeah, why not?”

They get down together. He gives him a few numbers and they have breakfast together. The guy promises to call his English teacher, at least. Tim promises himself to call his brother.

At least, he still has Dick.

---.----

He’s been putting off doing his rounds since he came back, he knows. But…

It changed him, a bit. Going around the world, dealing with his grief while staying on his toes, ready to break down one second and having to field off attacks from all sides the next, with the Demon’s honeyed whispers echoing in his ear and mind. 

He’ll never tell anyone, just how tempting it had been. How much he had wanted to reach for that offered hand. To lay his head on someone’s shoulder and let the responsibility bleed from his.

Tim will never tell anyone, but he’ll always know. And it’ll always make him hate himself a little bit more.

So, he’s different now. And he’s scared- that the people he gave hope to, that he talked with, that he could never stop thinking about, even halfway across the world- that they won’t like this new, worn down him.

That Mr Harrinson the Good Father, Braided Hair Lady and her sweaters, the inseparable Stray Cats, the girl with the bright yellow cardigan, the kid with the scarred wrists, the woman with beautiful star-like freckles that she’ll hopefully pass on to her baby, the gentle giant man with calloused hands, the petite but fierce young teen with defiant eyes and dead name, the soft spoken girl with the loudest laugh, auburn-haired boy and his hopeful and sympathetic green eyes… and so, so many more. They all knew him, maybe not at his best, but certainly better than now. The boy that kept them from jumping had been a bright, magical Robin. The teen that came back to their city was dark, weary Red Robin. It felt kinda like he had cheated them, returning this broken version of himself to their doorsteps.

But he had to go check on all of them. Even if Cass (and it was such a relief, that even after he lost everything else, the return of his sister could at least be a speck of light in the mist of misery surrounding him) had promised to do so, there were so many of them… and she couldn't possibly remember everyone, all the time. And if anyone had fallen through the gaps… if anyone had stood on a rooftop, waiting for their Robin to save them, only to think ‘nobody cares’ as he didn’t show up…

Tim gets sick only thinking about it. If it did happen, then he needs to know. He has to carry their names with him, that’s the least he can do for failing them.

So he’ll go check on them… anytime now. Soon. The moment he gathers enough energy to climb back to his feet and get his grapple hook out.

...The city looks full of life, beneath him. Like it feels the return of its Knight. The end of the internal quarrel among it’s vigilantes, that almost tore it all apart. The relief in Nightwing, the hesitant peace in Red Hood, the mellowing of Robin.

(He was feeling poetic tonight, in the worst ways)

Maybe it also feels Red Robin’s emptiness. Maybe that’s why it's so lively down there, like the ground is calling to him, just as it did when Ra’s broke the window with his body.

He thinks... he won’t have to check on anyone, if he jumps. And that way, there will be no name to carry with him to his grave.

“Robin!”

“Stop!”

“Don’t do it, please!”

He startles. Hadn’t even noticed when he got to his feet, nor that one of them was hanging over the abyss. The fact that he wasn’t alone on that rooftop any longer hadn’t even breached his usually perfect spatial awareness.

They didn’t call for him, but the voices sounded distraught, they were close, and he was a former Robin, so he turned around, tired, but with obedience and service too ingrained in him to consider denying help to whoever it was.

It turned out, he wouldn't need to go make his rounds any longer. His rounds had come to him.

There were… too many people on this roof. It was way too crowded.

“Robin!”

It was one voice now, not a mixture of them, so he could identify the one yelling his former alias. Allison broke from the mob of people (and there were more still, filling in from the open rooftop door, like a never-ending stream…) to run to him, looking like she might have just jumped into his arms, if not for Tom clutching her hoodie to stop her a few feet from him. Good move, considering he was still balancing precariously on the edge.

“Alleycat?” he whispered, a little blown. She looked so different (magenta looked amazing on the tips of her hair, and she totally pulled off that lip piercing), but he’d recognize those eyes anywhere. He’d been so relieved, when she first opened them after that dangerous overdose.

“We were so fucking worried, dude”, came from Tomcat just behind her, still gripping her hoodie (still keeping her safe; some things never change).

“I…”

“Where were you?” Maddie, not longer yellow but still wearing a cute cardigan, stepped up too.

“I’m… I’m not Robin”, he blurts out. They… knew it was him?  It… like, obviously there was a new Robin, Damian was (still, but probably not for much longer) smaller than him, but to immediately know that he was…

“Yeah, no shit. I’d know that long hair and noodle limbs of yours anywhere, kid. Known you too long to be fooled. And the new kid’s really trigger happy with that lon’nife of his... You’re still the Robin I prefer, and fuck if I understand the name passing you heroes do” Mr Harrinson spoke from the back of the crowd, one hand clutching his kid’s shoulder, the other arm around…

“Braided Hair Lady?”

Eloise smiles at him, soft and warm as ever, a little shy when his eyes go to the arm hugging her close and back to her. He recognizes some of her handmade scarfs around the necks of plenty of people on the roof. 

“I… wasn’t aware you all knew each other.”

A petite young teen steps forward, walking until they were shoulder-to-shoulder with the Strays.

“Most of us met through the app, and then introduced the others. There’s more, of course, but not everyone could meet here. Samantha’s baby was born just two months ago, so she chose to stay home, but we promised her pictures, so you’ll have to say cheese soon birdboy. Also, I found my name. I’m Cal.”

Allison’s smile broadened and she sneaked an arm around Cal’s waist.

“They are the new Straycat. Calico cat’s are the cutest shit ever, aren’t they?”

Well… Having someone as badass as Cal watching Tom and Alley’s back would sure make Tim feel a lot better about both kids being out in the streets. 

Were they still on the streets? He’d need to find out and fix that, soon.

Then it hit him. “What app?”

Auburn-hair smiled from his place, at the front of the crowd just behind the Cats.

“Felix over there,” he pointed over his shoulder at Mr Harrinson’s son, who smiled shyly at Tim, eyes shining in gratitude and admiration like they always did when Tim did his rounds and checked on his dad, “defended you in a GothamHeroes forum once. Some bratty douchebag was complaining about you landing over his car or something and this kid went for his fucking troath.”

“I was in that chat too,” spoke Tom, smiling a little too savagely for a kid that sweet. “He tore the idiot to shreds, speaking about how you saved his dad’s life and took it upon yourself to make sure he was still okay even weeks after you met. I mentioned how you saved Alley and Mrs Denvarow, we exchanged numbers… then we met Cal during one of our rounds handing out Mrs D’s scarfs and food. They were weary of everyone else, but trusted us because they heard you talk about the clothes and baked goods... And Cal’s friend Gina worked with Samantha on the streets and told them about her story...”

“Soon, it seemed like people personally saved by you were just… popping out of the snow like daisies” Blair laughed, and it was still the loudest, brightest noise. The night seemed a little clearer, the air a little fresher for it. “Felix made his own private chat and added us, and we added everyone else we knew… The word went around about it, and more and more people joined in…”

“It’s really a wonder how you had any time to fight crime, seeing how often you were apparently comforting jumpers on the roofs” Ailbert, still as gigantic and gentle as always, raised a hand from the middle of the group. He had a little girl on his shoulders, probably the baby niece he had taken in after his sister’s death. 

“Then the new kid appeared and Gotham went to hell on a basket, and no one saw you around any longer”, Elijah, wrists no more scarred than the last time he saw him, his arm tangled with Maddie’s, went on. “We were… well, we were a bit confused.”

“Speak for yourself, Cal jumped Red Hood one night, held him at knife point and demanded to know what the fuck happened to our Robin. We were like, zero chill.”

“Sorry, they did what?” Tim was definitely in the twilight zone now. 

“No thoughts, head empty, only murder”

...Tim needed to give Jason a quick call. Also sign Cal up for anger management. And probably, judging by the way both Alley and Tom were looking at them, get one of the adults to give them the talk.

Mrs Eloise smiled at him, and like always it served to calm his nerves. That woman was a different kind of magic than Alfred, but magic indeed. “Anyway, dear, what matters is that we were worried about you. And then this incredible young man, Aaron,” she waved at him, and he winked one of his green eyes in response, “suggested we kept in closer contact with one another, so anyone who spotted you could inform the others.”

Aaron shrugged, his auburn mane of hair bobbing with the movement. “It just seemed like it’d be easier to have an alarm set up, since messaging everyone would take so long… and then someone suggested making a map of Gotham so we could have clearer routes for the kids handing out Mrs Denvarow’s stuff… and someone wanted a shared blackboard to write theories on where the fuck you were with others… and a few demanded a space to share photos, possible sightings or old selfies with you… It kinda spiralled and I thought it’d be less of a chaotic mess if I made an app that could do all of that, instead of all of us using multiple apps for the different fixtures everyone asked for… Since this is Gotham, we also added some Rouge Alarm for whenever a criminal was set loose. It helped keep us safe, and if we knew when crime was happening, we could pay attention to which heroes answered the call…”

“And then, you fought that firefly guy the other day”, Felix said, still by his dad’s side, still looking as awed as ever when looking at tim. “I was in the crowd, and I recognized you within a minute.”

“I don’t really understand technology that well, and the group chat was such a mess that day” Ailbert lamented, but he was still smiling. They all were.

That hit Tim then, hard. 

They all looked so happy to see him. To have him back. They had been waiting for him to be back, banded together to make sure they’d all know when he did.

“You looked so sad the last time we saw you” Blair added softly, sadly. “And… when you saved Aaron, you told him about such sad things…”

Elijah winced “And I heard the Midnighter fell from Wayne Tower a few weeks ago, but then he was never seen around again, and your suit looks kinda similar, so that was probably really you… and, that fall…”

“We were very worried” repeated Eloise, but her eyes didn’t lose their warmth. “But you’re back now, and we can keep track of you and each other now, so it’s all good. It’s wonderful to have you back, love.”

This was an out of body experience.

Something must have shown on his face, because Cal snorted.

“We adore you, you dumbass. You are our hero.”

Alley smiled. “You are our Robin.”

Tim fell into her arms, and away from the roof’s edge. The rest of the crowd was upon them in seconds, all eager to pat his back or joke about the cowl hiding his hair from their hands.

He met eyes with Aaron, over Alley’s shoulder. He looked like the hope Tim had helped plant in his heart all those months ago had flowered, and the petals filled his heart.

(He was feeling poetic tonight, in the best ways)

“You should download the app too, so you always have someone to talk to. Look it up. It’s called BirdWatchers, because we’ll always look up and out for you. Because when we wanted to jump, you lended us your wings to fly instead.”

It was like this fucker wanted Tim to cry.

“Welcome home, Red Robin.”

#My writing #Tim drake #batman fanfic #red robin #trigger warning: #depression #suicide attempts #discussion of suicide #overdose #mental illness #hurt comfort #Tim doing the comfort and being the hurt #until he gets the comfort #happy ending #wholesome #I swear the tags are scary but it IS wholesome #Tim drake centric #my writting

[jackson--t]

Hi ! I hope you're doing well. I've had an idea for a one shot and though I could write it myself I don't think it could ever come out as beautiful as if you would write it so here it is.

I was thinking of Ivar and Heahmund as a couple. They haven't really had to spend too much time away from each other because whenever ine traveled with work the other would come along so maybe this time Ivar has to go alone because it's urgent and Heahmund can't come along cause he's stuck at work and unable to take a few days off. I was thinking Ivar would be so homesick. Like unable to sleep and stuff. And though he would have had to spend around a week away he won't be able to stay away for so long and return 3 days later and surprises Heahmund and they cuddle q lot and Ivar barely let's Heahmund go anywhere because he's touch starved.

You don't have to write it. It's just an idea but if you fancy it and want to I would feel honored to have my idea written by you and also very happy. Thank you ! Love ya!

Hello my dear, and I feel so honored that you want me to write this idea of yours! ❤️ As I already told you, it was a huge pleasure for me as I can identify myself with that situation very well, and I really hope that you like what I wrote and it turned maybe a little bit out the way you wanted it. Thank you so much! ❤️

Three days

Words: ~ 3k.

It's all pure fluff and stuff, and a bit of missing, obviously. xD

Ivar clenched his hand lightly around Heahmund's; he had been afraid, damned afraid of this day that was coming anyway - and it had just been there far too quickly, far too fleetingly, and most of all - far too hard.

He could feel Heahmund squeezing his hand a little tighter as well, but the big man only smiled slightly, while Ivar could already feel the tears in his eyes.

"I can't do that, no. I'd rather be out of a job." he snarled tensely, while Heahmund let out a soft snort. They had arrived at the final departure lounge, where he would soon be leaving - and where Ivar would have to say a final goodbye to Heahmund.

They had been a couple for maybe two years, had been through many ups and downs together - but they had never been apart for long. The longest they had spent without each other was one day. And that was only because Ivar had been far too offended at the time and had missed his bus when he had changed his mind after all. In that night, Ivar had sworn to himself that he would never again spend even one night apart from Heahmund - which had generally worked out well. When one of the two had to travel, they had taken each other with them. One had taken time off, the other was working; in this way they had been able to discover many places together. But this time it had been different. Since Heahmund had an important job to do, he couldn't take time off - just when Ivar had to fly away for a week for his job.

It was the first time Ivar had seriously considered just quitting; it was one thing to go to work and have your partner back in bed with you in the evening; but something completely different to have to go to sleep without him. The thought of it sent deep goosebumps down Ivar's body, and he sighed deeply.

"Honey, you're hurting me. It's only a week.", Heahmund said in a relaxed manner, trying to lightly release his hand from the clamp-like grip of Ivar's warm fingers; however, Ivar shook his head. Breathe in, breathe out, he told himself; but his eyes betrayed him. It wasn't really a tear that ran lightly from the corner of his eye, but Heahmund saw it anyway.

He made a soft clicking sound with his tongue and wrapped his arms tightly around the middle of Ivar's body; Ivar buried his face deep in Heahmund's black jacket, breathing in deeply the smell of his boyfriend. God, how he would miss him. Already his body felt drained, and his heart area became terribly heavy.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Heahmund. What are you going to do without me? Who's going to cook for you? And don't you dare meet anyone else.", Ivar mumbled dully into Heahmund's jacket, and he wrapped his arms tighter around Heahmund as he laughed softly and melodically.

"Babe, I'm not seeing anyone else. And besides, I'll probably survive a week without you! What are delivery services for, huh?" Heahmund replied, lifting Ivar's chin with a slight movement; Ivar blinked.

"Still. I should stay here." he grumbled, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"I have something for you that will comfort you a little. I know you always claim you don't like these things and are too old for them - but you always hug your bear very fiercely for that when I come home at night. That's why...", Heahmund said and pulled something out of his jacket pocket; it was a small stuffed animal, a small, soft hyena, wearing a dark blue ribbon around its neck. Ivar had to swallow; he took the stuffed animal carefully in his hands and then blinked very gently up at Heahmund, who looked at him with a smile.

"A hyena! You remember I was particularly fond of those?" he murmured softly, and Heahmund nodded as his hand went lightly to the back of Ivar's neck.

"Sure. You took about 200 pictures, and you kept stressing how much you'd like one yourself, and that you'd keep it in the bedroom."

"In the bathroom, so it could have a tub!"

"Of course!" Heahmund snorted in amusement; through the hall came the distinct and final call for Ivar's Gate, and the voice again sent a terrible shiver down Ivar's spine. He pressed himself as tightly as he could against Heahmund and sobbed slightly; Heahmund's warm fingers stroked through his hair, which for once he had not braided today, and which was just wildly disheveled. Who else was he going to make himself pretty for when his future husband wasn't around?

"Shhht, it's going to be okay, Ivar. You have to go now.", Heahmund said softly; Ivar knew it was time, but he found it extremely difficult to let go of the warm and familiar body and the familiar, beloved smell.

They kissed firmly and as long as they could; before Heahmund softly broke the kiss and smiled at Ivar once more. "You call me as soon as you land, okay? And no cell phone on the plane!" he said with a wink, and Ivar rolled his eyes.

He wiped away the last of his tears and hugged the hyena tightly before shuffling towards his gate with infinitely heavy feet. He looked after Heahmund for as long as he could - and when his dearly beloved guy disappeared behind him, the whole feeling in his body became really crushing. He tried to calm himself down the aisles to the plane and not show his tears - which worked well as long as he kept chewing his lower lip and answering all questions from stewardesses and staff only with a dull nod.

But it wasn't until he was sitting in his seat on the plane that all his emotions suddenly came rushing up - especially when he put the little hyena down on his lap and squeezed it tightly. He knew it was Heahmund's way of letting him know he was there - but the takeoff still sucked. Normally, during airplane takeoffs, Ivar always held Heahmund's hand, and always huddled slightly against Heahmund's shoulder out of fear; now that he wasn't there, the plane takeoff was a thousand times worse for Ivar.

The flight itself went by quickly, it was also only two hours. But the first day in his seminar from work was not great. Ivar found it awful to keep in touch with Heahmund only through his cell phone. Every two minutes he glanced at the screen, waiting to receive another heart, or an "I love you, I miss you." He knew Heahmund was working, too - but his inner, offended side most wanted Heahmund to text him every second.

The distraction of the seminar made the day go by quickly, even though Ivar shut down easily; he barely listened, and when he fell into his bed at night, all the fierce violence of missing him came crashing down. It took him a few seconds, a few seconds and his little hyena, before he could breathe reasonably again and pull out his cell phone to call Heahmund.

"Hey, little guy. Are you okay?" Heahmund said; he sounded tired and exhausted, but tears immediately started to flow on Ivar's face.

"I want to go home, I don't feel like it anymore! I'm homesick as hell, and I already know I can't sleep in this shitty bed! Heahmund, come get me. You can work from here too!" Ivar grumbled, sniffling as Heahmund laughed softly.

"Babe, you know I can't do that. I've really had a lot of conversations today, and I'm really, really knackered. I'm about to go to sleep too."

"You sound really tired too. But still... How am I supposed to sleep without you?" Ivar whined softly as Heahmund tossed and turned, Ivar heard it clearly. "And you're not supposed to sleep on the couch, Heahmund."

"I'm about to go to bed. Are you stalking me?"

"No, but I know our couch." Ivar said, smiling slightly; although tears were running slightly from his eyes, he could not hide the smile. He hugged the hyena a little more to his chest, imagining for a moment that it was Heahmund's warm hand; it helped a little.

"You are unique, at least your ears are. Which, after all, only hear what they want to hear. I miss you, Ivar."

Ivar swallowed hard. "I miss you too."

"We can talk on the phone with video tomorrow, I'm really too tired today."

"All right. Sleep well, and don't touch yourself too much! I want the full load when I get back.", Ivar grinned slightly, and he heard Heahmund snort exactly: it was the snort that Ivar knew quite well he was imagining him naked, with Ivar lying underneath him, moaning and whimpering.

"Of course. The same goes for you. I want you trembling and fucking starved with me," Heahmund replied; "...I love you. If there's anything, get in touch!"

"I love you, too. Will do."

As soon as he hung up, Ivar's heart grew heavy again, terribly heavy. He felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, almost crushing him. It was such a sickening feeling to be lying alone in this bed, so many miles from Heahmund.

"You're 20, you can do it," Ivar whispered to himself as he tucked himself in and snuggled comfortably. But no matter what he did, he couldn't sleep.

His thoughts kept circling around Heahmund, and his body and soul missed the man next to him just terribly. Ivar had the feeling that his body was in severe withdrawal, that he simply needed Heahmund to function at all. He remembered the smell, the so familiar smell of Heahmund's neck and chin as they lay over Ivar's head, taking him in; he remembered his fingers always sliding over Heahmund's chest, sometimes on shaved, smooth, skin, sometimes on something hairier... but either way, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world to sleep in Heahmund's warm embrace.

For as long as Ivar could remember, he had always slept with his head on Heahmund's chest or shoulder; he couldn't think of an evening when they hadn't somehow fallen asleep without physical contact. Even on the hottest summer nights, Ivar would always curl up against Heahmund's back like a little hedgehog, holding at least his one arm, no matter how much Heahmund grumbled in his half-sleep.

It was simply his means of falling asleep, of waking up, of feeling good all around. But now, so alone in this hotel room, he felt completely lost and abandoned. The pain after Heahmund's closeness was so gravely real that Ivar found it difficult to breathe normally at all; again and again small sobs interrupted his breathing, and he pressed the hyena very tightly against him; unfortunately, it no longer bore any traces of Heahmund's scent, and only now did Ivar remember that he had forgotten to pack a worn shirt of Heahmund's - and it was so bad for him in those seconds that he burst into sheer tears, which only subsided when he eventually fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next two days were an absolute nightmare for Ivar. He didn't want to and couldn't eat anything, hardly felt like doing anything with the others even though the weather was wonderful - and he cried so terribly after every phone call with Heahmund that he always had to calm down before he could do anything else.

This feeling didn't go away either, and it got worse. This terrible feeling that a very primary part of him was missing, that his better and more beautiful half was simply missing. This missing squeezed all the nice feelings out of him and took over almost his entire daily life - so much so, that on the third day he was fed up and pretended to be sick so he could fly home.

He didn't tell Heahmund about all the action, because he would have just said, "You can't do that," and put on his dad look, along with his glasses, which he needed to work. But Ivar didn't care what he would think; he wrote to a work colleague of Heahmund's beforehand and asked her if he was in the office - when she answered in the affirmative, Ivar decided that he would wait for him at home as a surprise.

It was like a warm hug when Ivar unlocked the door to their apartment and smelled the scent of Heahmund still in the air; his heart was still burning, and he could hardly breathe with excitement - but finally he was home again.

Ivar felt a little bad that he had lasted such a short time and had only managed three days without Heahmund. But he knew that he would not have been able to stand it any other way, and no matter what Heahmund would say - he would just be glad to hold the man in his arms again. It would take away all the pain, and finally the endless burdensome pressure from his chest.

As he wandered through the apartment and looked around, he discovered slight chaos in some corners; but he was not angry. Rather, he smiled from the bottom of his heart, because he saw exactly that Heahmund seemed to need him in everyday life as much as Ivar needed him. As he was already unpacking his suitcase in the bedroom, he discovered the photo album of all their travels on Heahmund's bedside table; it was still open, and Ivar carefully took the book in his hands.

It showed a page with four pictures where they had been together in Egypt; there were pyramids in the background, and Ivar kissed Heahmund on the cheek while the older man grabbed his butt. It was a wonderful photo, and Ivar had to hold back his tears hard. It touched him more than anything that Heahmund had apparently looked at these pictures, even though he had seemed so tough on the phone. It was a moment that was so precious to Ivar - even though it was just a small, hidden detail in their otherwise great relationship.

As the evening approached, Ivar had almost prepared Heahmund's favorite meal; he had placed the little hyena in the hallway so that it would be the first thing the older man would see when he came into the apartment. And indeed - after a little while Ivar heard the lock of the door open, and someone standing in the hallway, puzzled. For a moment, nothing was heard - Ivar bit his lower lip in gleeful excitement before quietly sneaking around the corner of the hallway. He lurked around the corner and saw Heahmund perplexedly picking up the hyena and eyeing it in his hand, and once he had his eyes on this beautiful man, Ivar could wait no longer.

He jumped around the corner and threw himself into Heahmund's arms; the older man was a little startled, but he caught Ivar effortlessly and immediately took him deep and tight in his arms. He even lifted him up slightly with the embrace, and Ivar smiled broadly as Heahmund kissed him breathlessly, demanding.

"Oh fuck, I missed you so much, my little burglar." he murmured against Ivar's cheek, and Ivar took his face in both hands and kissed him again, firmly and intimately. Although tears were running down his cheek, he finally let go of that terribly heavy feeling of missing him, and he could finally breathe freely again. His arms wrapped around Heahmund's neck as tightly as he could, and the older man held him effortlessly in his strong arms.

"I escaped." Ivar admitted dryly, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"How did you do that again, huh?"

"I said I was too sick, and I just flew. Heahmund, I couldn't go on without you, I'm so damn starved and it hurt so much and... oh, the food!", Ivar groaned and pressed one last kiss on Heahmund before breaking free from the hug and running to the kitchen.

They spent a wonderful dinner together, and Ivar talked an incredible amount, though he didn't actually catch that much; but he was immensely satisfied when he was finally able to lie down in Heahmund's arms in the evening, and the older man pulled him into an intimate embrace on the sofa.

Ivar inhaled the smell of Heahmund deeply and firmly and swore to himself that he would never let him go - at most when he had to go to the bathroom. But that was it. Far too much had he missed the pressure of strong arms around him, and didn't want to be left alone for another minute.

When Heahmund wanted to get something to snack on from the kitchen, Ivar grumbled; but he clung with his arms around Heahmund's broad shoulders and let himself be carried like a little monkey all the way to the kitchen, where Heahmund finally had to laugh.

"What are you doing, huh? Are you my little spider monkey again?" he said, amused, and pushed Ivar onto the kitchen table; Ivar chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around Heahmund again, even though he actually wanted to go to the freezer to get some ice cream. But Ivar kept a tight grip on him, and additionally clamped his legs around Heahmund's hips.

The big man raised an eyebrow, slightly enraptured, and leaned down to Ivar; they kissed intimately, and Ivar felt Heahmund's warm hands slide under his shirt with a slight pleasant hum.

"Are you a little starved?" he murmured softly, and slowly began kissing Ivar's sensitive right side of his neck; a thousand butterflies raced through Ivar's body, and he opened his full lips slightly to let out a soft moan.

"Yes - starved for touch. After all, we have three days to make up, my big guy."

Heahmund's eyebrow rose again in rapture, and not a second passed before the two strong arms had Ivar firmly in their grasp once more, and they were kissing fiercely. And even as Heahmund pulled his shirt over his head in one fluid motion, he knew for sure that he never wanted to be without this man for even one more day. Fuck the job - he didn't need money.

He just needed the full love and absolute closeness of this incredible man with him, forever.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@youbloodymadgenius @jadelynlace @punkrocknpearls (Uh, I don't remember if it was you who wanted to be tagged in stuff like this? xD Otherwise, I'm so sorry! <3)

#vikings #request #fluff #heavar #ivar x heahmund

[i-need-air]

howdy! sooo it'll be my birthday in a couple of minutes (jan 5) so can I maybe request some headcanons about how Bakugou will celebrate his s/o birthday? owo

I wish you a very Happy Birthday, anon!!! Hope you have a great day and maybe these hcs make it even better 💕

I feek Baku would be really observant so he'd really think of a personal celebration just for you, completely focused on your preferences so that's pretty hard to sum up. This guy has to do everything perfectly soooooo!!!! I had to go with this one because no thoughts, head empty, I just imagined Katsu in a suit and 🦋 Enjoy!

× it really depends if you're living together or not

× if you are living separately, he would stay up or put an alarm to wake him up a few minutes before midnight to send you the perfect text

× which ends up being "happy birthday, dumbass" at 00:00; 😒💕

× literally writes a paragraph declaring his love and deletes it because he's an idiot but he promises himself to make it up to you even if you had no idea

× if you're living together you'd be in bed by that time and even if you are asleep he would wait up to hug you tighter and kiss your forehead; he'd mutter a sweet gruff "happy birthday" in your temple, as if it's a secret

× now, if you're awake and answer back he'll freeze but go back to hugging you tight

× overall, know you can't make plans for that same evening

× "Be ready at 8 P.M." he'd order that morning, hands in his pockets and looking away

× whenever you get a text or a phone call from friends and family to congratulate you, Bakugou would be near-by gently smiling at your expression; you deserve all the praise and attention and oh, no, you caught his eyes, time to act like an indifferent gremlin—

× his parents will call you too also very early in the morning; Katsuki didn't tell you that his mom was messaging him like crazy to know when you wake up and when she's informed that you in fact did, your phone instantly starts ringing lol, he's definitely gonna listen openly and even participate in the conversation

× he's the type of guy to give you space to enjoy time with your friends and family so if you want to do it alone, he's okay with it; but even if you don't, he will take time to come at your celebration party with everyone and see you enjoy yourself

× can he make a wish too when you blow the candles? bc he can save it for his bday although he really wants to live through many, many birthdays with you

× anywho! around 6 in the evening you have to be home to get ready for your date

× which at this point you still have ZERO [0] idea what's it about

× have i ever mentioned Bakugou likes to be a provider and one of the ways he shows you his love is by gifting you things?

× well, well, what's that beautiful big box on your bed and the smaller ones surrounding it, hmm?

× he basically spoiled you with all the things you've been wanting to get recently; but in that big box you find a beautiful set of clothes ready for you

× you pick them up and just take everything in; you remember admiring this while out on a window shopping spree with your friends... were they onto this too? did Bakugou Katsuki actually went to them for help?

× meanwhile Mister Gremlin was behind you with a shit eating grin bc you're perfect and he's awesome, the best boyfriend ever and look at your face, everything was worth it and it just started;;;;

× no time to think, put that on and let's get going

× ????????

× he starts undressing you and helping you put everything on;; did he buy you shoes too?

× so you're glowing, a little bit overwhelmed and mostly confused which is his shit, ngl, but scoffs at you when you ask how did he get your sizes right??

× "What kind of shitty boyfriend would I be if I wouldn't?"

× followed by "Also—" he smirks "I've seen you naked many times, I know it by memory now, hmm..."

× make him shut up pls

× whatever, you shove him off and he laughs at your face before going to get dressed himself

× Bakugou Katsuki in a suit

× that's it, that's the headcanon.

× "You look—" he'd clear his throat as he finally meets you all finished at the door "—beautiful..." he's trying

× escorts you to a restaurant at the edge of the city and you recognize the name; fancy, classy and a little bit too expensive for your comfort

× but this man goes all in for you, ok?

× you dine in a private corner, have everyone attentive of your every need, the finest wine by the table

× he's been very gentle all night for you too

× gives you such a starstruck gaze whenever you smile or laugh you'd have to pause and catch your breath because somehow he's stealing your heart yet again

× who gave him permission to be this perfect?

× notes to himself how even if now he's just rising in ranks as a hero, he wants to be able to give you everything and more someday

× he places his hand on yours as you just converse about life, his thumb running gently over your knuckles

× as you thank him for the evening, even if it's yet to be over, he shrugs

× "Only the best for you"

× he'd take the same hand he was caressing and lead it to his lips, kissing it while watching you squirm under his gaze

× "Happy birthday, [Y/N]... I love you."

× this man may not be very vocal but his actions speak more than any sentence could

× he proves day after day that he wants you in his life, that he loves you dearly and that he's more than willing to do anything for your happiness

× sidenote; if you want him to do something more lowkey next time [ to which his heart skips a beat bc yes, good, you definitely aren't getting rid of him ever, so there will be a next time ] he'll scoff

× "Didn't I tell you that you deserve the best?"

× takes notes though; want lowkey? he's gonna give you the best fucking lowkey birthday ever;; he's gonna cuddle you so hard at home after you eat so much of the food he made, while watching movies so intensely and talking about your future so—;;;💀

× just be aware, when you're getting home it's time he unwraps his gift

× sorry not sorry, happy birthday 💕🦋💕🦋💕

#boku no hero academia #bnha #noire writes #mha #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #happy bday anon 💕💕💕

[babluvsu]

Eren doesn’t know: Chapter 2 (Jean x Reader x Eren)

Dating Eren is hard, especially when he’s in a band that’s constantly away. While your boyfriend is gone, your friend Jean decides to help out with your loneliness. Problem is, neither of you can stop.

Warnings: Cheating (lots of it), smut (also lots of that, like, a lot), angst, one-sided love, language

Written by me an my bestfriend @msack3rman 😌 We thought of this late night on a drive and it stuck

1.4k word count

Chapter 1, ((Chapter 2)), Chapter 3, Chapter 4

"Baby, what if we went and got dressed and went out to lunch, then walked around the park?" You turned to him watching as his normally dumb grin appeared on his face. "You're still asking me on dates, after 3 years?" You smiled softly and giggled.

"Of course I am, you're just too hot not to." His face tinted in the slightest shade of pink and you felt your heart flutter. It almost felt like the first time you went on a date with Eren. Nostalgia had you feeling like mush and you couldn't help yourself as you leaned over and kissed him.

Eren kissed back with the same gentleness you were using. He felt loved and cared for and he had already forgotten. Just like he wanted to. Moments like these make him feel like the flame between the both of you was still ablaze. "C'mon sunshine boy, let's go."

Eren's heart was beating so fast in his chest he could feel it in his ears. You two raced to the door of the house, stumbling inside and laughing at one another. You weren't always competitive. But Eren brings out that side of you. He brings out all the best in you and you love him dearly for it. Your chest ached terribly as you remembered you wouldn't be able to change around Eren or shower with him tonight.

Eren had chased you to your shared bedroom pinning you under him. You felt giddy as he kissed along your neck and marked the skin there. Thank god Jean didn't bite you there. You felt your heart start to race when he pushed his hands under your shirt and dragged his nails across your sides. In a panic you gave an excuse to him, "I'm on my period, we can't do anything." There was a pout on your face and Eren pulled back with a matching expression.

Then he smiled and shrugged it off. "That's fine, I can spend my time with you without needing to have sex." Eren was celebrating inside, he wanted so desperately to text Mikasa and say, "I told you so." Eren knew you hated having sex on your period and your periods last for a while.

"You can shower first then, I'll decide where to go for food." He sat up sitting between your legs on the bed as he scrolled through his phone. You rolled over and dropped off of the bed, getting a nice outfit for the outdoors before going to the bathroom.

Eren shut the car off after parking and the two of you got out, making your way to the trail that went around the park. It had taken much longer to get out of the house to eat because Eren's manager had called him. The man kept your boyfriend on the phone for over 20 minutes. You grew annoyed quickly. Even in his down time, when it was supposed to be you and Eren it ended up being you Eren and anyone else who wanted to join.

He quickly made it up to you, even though he shouldn't have had to in the first place. His manager called him, he didn't call his manager. You shouldn't have gotten so upset because it wasn't his fault. But you couldn't help it. On the bright side, you're now walking with him at sunset. Eren's eyes shined so brightly in pure sunlight.

His skin was radiant and god he's just so handsome. He's so breathtaking, but you forget so easily when you're apart for so long. The low quality video calls honestly make you feel worse but hearing his voice as you fall asleep makes up for it. Eren's hand waved back and forth in front of your face, "You've been staring at me for a whole minute, are you gonna blink yet?"

You chuckled and grabbed his hand holding it as you walked with him. "I just love you a lot Eren. Don't bully me for appreciating you." He smiled and squeezed your hand as you looked away blushing. He didn't mean to fluster you, but he doesn't feel bad, your reddened face looked gorgeous under the last few rays of sunshine in the sky.

You had already walked around the entire park 2 times, talking about everything and nothing. Your phone went off for the 20th time since your date started and you were starting to get really annoyed. Another intruder on your quality time with Eren. You pulled your phone out and quickly glanced at the notifications, as soon as you noticed Jean's name you frowned and shut your phone off.

Eren glanced at you and let out a sigh. "Angel?" You pocketed your phone again and turned to give him your full attention. "Would you make me choose between us and my band?" Your frown deepened.

Today, you can't give him the answer you usually do. You knew you'd be as patient as you could, but you couldn't handle this question tonight. "Eren, I don't want to answer that.. I feel like I have to choose between my happiness and yours."

"I love you, but I also love my family. You both mean the world to me, I'd feel lost without both of you." You squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. "I feel lost every time I wake up and you've left to go on tour without saying goodbye or when Armin will answer your phone and let me know that you've exhausted yourself until 5 in the morning every day for the past week while you're out cold."

You weren't angry, you were sad and you were tired. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to think of it like that." Eren's voice was soft and sweet. His heart felt like it had stopped and in his mind that flame between you two was starting to dim again. He tugged on your intertwined hands and it brought you to his side. You leaned against one another as you made your way back to the car.

This date was your idea and the whole point was to cheer Eren up and finally spend time with him. Now you just feel like crying because the majority of the date was focused around other people and it hurt that you had to choose what to sacrifice so Eren didn't sacrifice anything.

Moments like these make you remember why Jean is in your life the way he is now. You were doing something for you and you were being selfish. However, being selfish still feels shitty and suddenly you feel sick on the car ride back home.

After getting home, you left Eren’s side to go to the bathroom, pulling out your phone to look at the now 20 notifications from Jean. You rolled your eyes, he really couldn’t take a hint sometimes.

Hey

Are you up?

Do you wanna do smth today?

If you want we can go to lunch

I’ll pay

Ok ig not

Sorry for bothering you

Are you ignoring me?

Did I do smth? If so i’m sorry

Pls talk to me if smth is wrong

As you read through his messages, guilt began to build up in your throat. I mean, how hard could it have been to send a simple “Sorry, I’m busy” You knew you shouldn’t feel like this. You really did nothing wrong. All you wanted to do was spend some time with your boyfriend, who you rarely even saw anymore, and you could hardly do that today with all of the interruptions. You just wanted to be alone. No distractions, no interruptions. For just a moment to be rid of all guilt and shame. But, the knocking on the door brought you back, making you realize that it wasn’t possible.

“Yeah?” You call out through the door, not wanting to face Eren just yet. You could hear a sigh from the other side.

“I’m sorry for asking that earlier,” he sounded sincere and a little hurt, “I just love you and my band so much and I don’t want to ever have to choose between you two.” His voice was soft and you could feel a lump begin to form in your throat. “I know I’m gone a lot and I’m so sorry for that. I love you and don’t ever wanna lose you to something like this. Please just come out and talk to me.”

Letting out a shaky breath, you slowly open the door and when you see Eren and how upset he looks, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. You wrap your arms around his middle, burying your face in his chest as you cried into his shirt. A hand came up to rest against the back of your head while the other ran across your back in soothing circles. “Shhh, it’s okay Angel, I’m here.” His voice was barely above a whisper and he rested his chin on top of your head. “I’ll always be here.”

#attack on titan #fanfic #my fic #jean x reader x eren #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren x reader #jean kirstein #jean x reader #aot angst

[twoidiotwriters1]

Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) VII -Modern!Shirbert

A/N: Based on that one tumblr post that I lost but I hold dearly in my heart -Danny

Words: 1,408

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Seven: Blythe's Flowers.

It's been very rare to have known you,

                   very strange and wonderful.

                                    -F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen!” Gilbert said as soon as he opened the door. “Hope you had a great night– Winter won’t defeat us, guys!” He dropped his bag behind the counter and put on his apron, ready to start the day.

It was then that an extremely cute, disheveled woman, barged into his flower shop and yelled:

“I need to say ‘fuck you’ in the most lavish way possible,” She slammed fifty bucks on the counter. “Make the most offensive bouquet you can think of.”

___________________

Done was an understatement. Anne was sick of this push and pull situation with her exboyfriend.

He’d lied, cheated, and then played the victim part all too well for his own good, and she was about to pluck it all out. She had the screenshots, she had the love letters that were filled with lies. She had everything, and she only needed to add the cherry on top.

“Um- Hi,” The man behind the counter said clumsily. “I- uh, I… did you just say you want to give someone an offensive bouquet?”

“Don’t look at me like that,” She said defensively. “I’m not the bitch in this story! He had it coming for months!”

“Alright, okay,” He raised his hands. “None of my business…”

The man looked around the shop like he had no idea where to start.

“Uhh… Oh! Okay so, did he cheat?”

“Excuse me?” Anne blinked.

“Well, I have foxglove over here…” He walked around the counter to show her the pinkish flowers. “They're all about insincerity… I guess it doesn’t need to be about cheating…”

“Oh but he did!” Anne growled, looking at the flowers as if they were making fun of her. “For five fucking months! Can you believe it?”

The poor guy stepped back at her outburst, raising his eyebrows in slight panic and grabbing a bunch.

“Okay, foxglove it is…” He mumbled. “I also have geraniums, but I consider their looks a bit too friendly for this situation, though they represent stupidity in some cases…”

“Stupidity fits nicely in my bouquet,” She sentenced.

“Sunflowers are perfect for this!” The man said, excited about finally getting a hold of the situation. “False and haughty people...”

“I thought I was the only flower-nerd in town,” Anne couldn’t help a little smirk to show up at the man’s eagerness. “Of course, that was a silly thought considering you own a flower shop.”

“If you’re gonna do something, you better do it thoroughly, right?” He shrugged, picking more flowers as he walked back to the counter.

“Yes,” She agreed. “Where does one learn so much about flowers and their meaning, though?”

He stopped for a second and looked at her like he’d never been asked that question before.

“I…” He frowned. “Huh, well… books?”

“That makes sense,” Anne grinned. “Flowers are one of the most beautiful creations on earth, don’t you think?”

“Definitely,” He nodded. “They’re fresh, vibrant, and they smell good!”

“They feed the bees!”

“They feed me,” He snorted, grabbing a sunflower and talking to it. “Thank you for that, Madame.”

Anne beamed at the sight. ‘What a dork’ she thought.

She shook her head then. No! She was there because a man had broken her heart, she wasn’t going to allow another man to have his way with her so soon after Roy. Not today, Satan.

___________________

Did he seriously talk to a flower in front of the pretty costumer?

Yes, and he would be cringing about it for the rest of his life.

“So,” He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact. “This guy… is he an exboyfriend?”

The woman stood in silence for about ten seconds. He was about to apologize and say it was clearly none of his business when she let out a scoff.

“I mean, yes. Obviously,” She stated. “I wouldn’t be buying a bouquet that says fuck you to my father.”

“Well, some people have shitty parents, and sometimes saying ‘fuck you’ to their faces only makes things worse, so...”

“My father is lovely,” Her voiced softened. “But I do get your point… I guess that if you have a knack for theatricality, insulting your parents without them knowing must be cathartic.”

“I agree, though my dad was also great,” He smiled, then looked down at the bouquet he was making. “This guy, however…”

“Roy,” She sneered. “He’s a twat.”

“I see,” Gilbert eyed her carefully. “I’m sorry if I’m being too snoopy, but why are you paying for this when you could just delete his number and keep going?”

“Because he’ll propose to one of my college friends today,” She had that dangerous glint back in her eyes. “And I’m about to give her the best engagement gift she could’ve asked for.”

“Oh,” Gilbert tilted his head. “Was she… uh, the one that..?”

“I don’t know,” The girl brushed it off like that really wasn’t her priority. “For all I know, he’s been sleeping with different girls while dating me, so she could very well be one.”

“Ugh,” Gilbert grimaced. “that’s exactly how you get syphilis…”

“Right!?” She replied heatedly. “I went to the doctor as soon as I found out, he’s so gross! Luckily I was fine, but I hope he gets rabies.”

Gilbert let out a childish laugh.

“That’s not an STD,” He replied stupidly.

Seriously, just kill me already, Gilbert begged silently, but she smiled.

“A girl can dream…”

“Well, all done,” He said after two minutes of carefully mingling the flowers.

She examined the bouquet, an astonished smile on her face.

“It’s amazing! If I didn’t know what it meant I’d say it’s beautiful...”

“Anger can be pretty too,” He replied simply, the image of her sudden intrusion and her frown in his mind.

“You’re right,” She grinned, then rummaged through her pockets. “How much, then?”

“Oh no,” Gilbert frowned, lifting a hand. “Just take it.”

___________________

“W-What?” Anne blinked in surprised.

“I won’t stand here and watch you pay for this,” His eyebrows were scrunched down, but his mouth was slightly turning into an amused grin. “It’d be rude.”

“Rude?” She let out an incredulous laugh. “It’s your job!”

“It’s for your exboyfriend,” He replied. “I won’t let you spend money on a person that sounds like trash!”

“I can’t accept it for free!” Anne rolled her eyes. “I’ll have my gratification later, when Lauren finds out what an absolute ass her fiance is!”

“Wait, what?” The man tilted his head. “Didn’t you say he was going to propose today?”

“Well yeah, but it’s not exactly a surprise, they’re making a whole lunch date to make it official–” She shook her head, realizing how surreal it was to share all this private information with a stranger. “Listen- uh, What’s your name?”

He was about to reply when a second costumer entered, distracting him from the chat.

“Hello,” She watched as he straighten his posture and smiled warmly at the person. “I’ll be with you in a second,” then he turned back to her. “Listen, whatever you’re doing, I hope you don’t hurt the girl too much, she’s not to blame–”

“I know that!” Anne replied in slight outrage. “I’m not making this to rub it on her face, I’m trying to make her see he’s not what she thinks he is!”

“Okay, fine!” He whispered back in the same tone, raising his hands in defeat. “Just making sure…”

“Here,” She tried to shove the fifty bucks on his hand. “Please, just take the money.”

“I won’t,” He chuckled, softly pushing her hand away along with the bill. “Tell you what, don’t pay me in cash. But please, do come back after you’ve done your whole romantical heist to tell me how’d it go, you can’t leave me like this.”

His eyebrows then raised in expectation, a pleading smile on his face as he patiently waited for her reply.

“I…” Anne hesitated, then bravely offered, “only if you let me buy you lunch so we can talk about it during your break- if you have a break, I mean, I don’t see anyone else working here…”

His eyes shone at the mention of a shared lunch, wich she found endearing.

“See you later, then,” She mumbled, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about her offering. She grabbed the flowers and stopped once more. “Oh! Sorry, I almost forgot- what was your name, then?”

He smiled widely, extending one hand for her to shake before leaving.

“Gilbert.”

Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca @fuckthisshitimoutyall @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​​ @little-boats-on-a-lake​

#twoidiots writing #anne with an e fanfic #anne with an e #anne shirley x gilbert blythe #anne shirley cuthbert #Gilbert Blythe #DV fic #shirbert #shirbert fanfic #awae

[books-and-milkshakes]

Works in progress Sunday

I was going through my google documents and found a lot of drabbles and abandoned fanfic ideas, so I decided I will post some of the ones I like. Hopefully I will able to turn these little moments in actual stories some day, but for now I hope you guys like these glimpses. This one is from this past halloween.

“I’m sorry, you need to have a partner to enter.”

Betty was standing in front of the booth that was selling tickets for the halloween escape room. Every year Riverdale held a big halloween fair which was attended by everyone. Halloween was big in Riverdale, probably even bigger than Christmas, and the fair was the town’s main attraction. It was populated by food stands, haunted houses, spooky rites and all sorts of other activities. But this year there was something new, the Blossoms had sponsored an escape room. The person to solve it in the fastest time would get a mystery price.

Betty had been excited about it from the moment she heard about it. Growing up she loved a good mystery, she spend all her time watching detective shows, often times solving the murder halfway through the episode.

Now all her excitement came crashing down, because she wasn’t allowed to enter the escape room alone.

“Can’t I just enter on my own,” Betty was confident that she would be able to solve it.

“No,” the reply came quick. The girl behind the counter looked bored and slightly annoyed that she was making such a big deal out of it.

She looked over at Veronica and Archie who had already purchased their tickets. Veronica made eye contact and came storming over, probably seeing the disappointment on her face.

“What is it?”

“I can’t buy a ticket, because I don’t have a partner.”

“B, you can go with Archie if you want. I know how excited you were. I’ll just enjoy myself on the fair.” Veronica held her ticket towards Betty, but she shook her head. She loved her friend dearly, but she doubt Archie and her would make a good team.

“Thanks V, but you two should go together,” she put on her determined face, so Veronica knew she was serious.

She could see the doubt on Veronica’s face, but she lowered the ticket and went back to Archie’s side. Betty smiled at them and waved indicating they should go in.

The smile dropped the moment they disappeared behind the doors. She gave the girl one last pleading look, but all she got in return was a blank stare. She sighed and moved aside to let the next pair buy their tickets.

The rule was stupid. They were supposed to go in pairs, because apparently the escape room was super difficult and super scary, but they didn’t know Betty Cooper if they thought she couldn’t handle it on her own. 

She huffed in annoyance and inspected the rest of the fair. Normally she would be walking around trying every food and activity, but her mood had officially been lowered.

She was sulking when she heard a voice behind her. A voice so familiar and yet so different from what she remembered.

“You wanna go in together?”

She turned around to see Jughead Jones standing behind her. Her childhood best friend, her teenage crush and the boy who left her behind at the age of 15 when he joined a gang and decided it was too dangerous for her to be involved with him.

That boy had now transformed into a man.

Betty stared at him for a moment, wondering if he was a ghost. It was halloween after all, it would be appropriate.

“What,” she sputtered after a few moments. Not the most intelligent thing to say, but she was surprised.

Jughead gave her a half smile. “I heard your conversation with Veronica. I also don’t have a partner, so wanna go solve it together. We were a pretty good team. We solved where all the charity money went within two days, remember?”

Betty wanted to laugh. They hadn’t spoken to each other in three years and now he was standing before her and talking to her like no time had passed at all.

But she didn’t laugh, instead she turned to anger. 

“Are you serious?”

Jughead removed his hand from his pocket and showed her two tickets to the escape room. 

“I am.”

Betty looked at the tickets with a weird sense of longing. She didn’t know why she wanted to do the escape room so badly, maybe she wanted to show this town what she was made of. But going in there with Jughead, was it worth it?

Jughead saw her deliberation and took a step closer, before she could react he took her hand and put the ticket in it. 

“Come on, Betts,” his childhood nickname for her made her stomach flip, but she ignored it.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked him, suddenly feeling vulnerable. He was still holding her hand and she was back to being her 15 year old self. A feeling she did not like.

He shrugged. “Just wanting to help an old friend.”

“An old friend?” she asked.

Was that all she was.

His eyes betrayed no emotion, no motive why he was suddenly so friendly and so present. He was good at wearing a mask, a skill he learned when he was a teenager, but he never masked his emotions from Betty, at least he used to never do it.

“Fine,” she pulled her hand back. “Let’s do this.”

She walked towards the entrance of the escape room and didn’t look back to see if Jughead was following her.

------

If you would ask Jughead to describe the past few years of his life, his reply would be one word.

Shitty.

Not very eloquent, but his life hadn’t been eloquent.

When he was 15 he transferred to southside high, there he was forced to join a gang for his own protection. His dad, who runs the gang, had been in and out of prison for the past 5 years. He was currently in.

People tended to glamorize gang life, but Jughead had a few scars to show anyone who thinks they want to join one.

But in all honesty the fighting and illegal stuff that he did wasn’t the biggest reason his life sucked. It was the fact that he had to leave everyone behind from his old life. His friends and his girlfriend, people threatened him to cut all ties otherwise bad things would happen to them, so he did. He knew those people weren’t ones to play around and he couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to them.

But 3 years have passed and he thought he was fine. Then, as he was standing in line to buy tickets to the escape room, one of the only fair activities he thought would be fun, he saw a blonde ponytail and heard a voice that haunted him in his dreams.

Betty.

Only a few feet in front of him was the girl whose heart he broke, the girl he still thought about every single day.

His resolve that he held on to for three years quickly faded away and he did something stupid, but he missed her and he just wanted to spend some time with her. 

So he invited her to do the escape room together with him.

#Riverdale #Riverdale fanfiction #Bughead #Betty Cooper #Jughead Jones #Bughead fanfiction #my writing #work in progress #WIP

[complicatedandstained]

I am suffering only being able to ask about one. UM Get Behind Me, Satan (Text me in the morning if you aren’t dead yet) or Modern Day Prophet

Get Behind Me Satan

What else can I say about Get Behind Me Satan? I tried to make the character roles relevant to the canon characters which is always a little funky in an AU but I think works. And I’m still not sure if the post-apocalyptic elements work or not, it might be too much on top of the fairy tale, but it would also be fun. And the sacrifice concept was inspired by a dark Beauty and the Beast akuroku fic I read but was going to be a lot different, execution wise. I’ll send you the doc with the rest. 

Modern Day Prophet

Modern Day Prophet is an original project I haven’t worked on in too long, but love dearly, and it’s a little bit hard to explain, but it’s a series of short stories about this young New Yorker named Jake Prophet who is blunt, full of himself, a terrible babysitter, and has weird encounters with the occult. Instead of writing essays for his English class, he writes about his life, but it’s always vaguely relevant to the prompt. 

So listen, Mr. Anderson. 

We’re walking right past that fro-yo place on Tenth.  

I’m holding her bare, reaper cold, shivering hand, and thinking, like, It’s October. Your wardrobe is made of black leather. Surely, we could have planned this better. 

But clearly we did not.

And she’s vegan, Karina. And like actually vegan. Not like my sister, who’s vegan this week, until her underwear model of a boyfriend wants to take her to that new steakhouse near China Town. No, I have made that mistake before.

So I have to pretend there’s no Fro-Bro Primo Rewards card burning a hole in my pocket, which is pretty shitty, Mr. Anderson, because I am three punches away from free sprinkles. Just three. And deep in the pocket of my khakis, my wallet is containing its hiccupping sobs. 

The things we do for love, Mr. Anderson. I’m sure you would do the same for your wife or husband, if you had one.

But I digress. 

She ran her other hand through her hair, and Karina’s hair is this toxic kind of blue with bleached edges. Old biddies look at it like its radioactive—probably highly contagious. I don’t know where she buys the dye, Mr. Anderson, but this is New York, so they’re probably right. 

But that’s not what’s up, Mr. Anderson. Truth be told, I’m kind of into it. 

The hair, the black lace, the leather, the stud in her tongue. All that weird shit. It’d give my sister a heart attack just looking at the chick, so I figure Karina’s the girl for me. 

Besides, I don’t care what she looks like—I just keep her around for the conversation. 

Karina, I mean. My sister I keep around to tell me that my Chucks don’t match my button-down. 

This is about what my girlfriend says next.

“Hey, Prophet. You know that carnival?” 

And of course, I do know that carnival. The one they put it in Central Park in late autumn when everybody gets bored of the zoo.  

And you probably know this about me, Mr. Anderson, but I’d like to clear the air. 

It’s not that I’m scared of clowns, right. I would call it more of a healthy, educated caution. It’s all about the statistics, basically.

The number of clown related fatalities in Brooklyn alone considerably outweighs the number of shark and mime related incidents in all of Manhattan. 

Yeah.  

CNN should be covering this shit. 

So I look at her violet eyes and black lips and I’m glad I didn’t get the fro-yo, actually, because my stomach feels full of crushed ice. And she sort of runs her thumb across the back of my hand, and her thumb is essentially damp hair in January cold, but I can sort of appreciate the gesture, I guess.

And I open my mouth to say “fuck no” but it comes out as more of a shrug and a casual “Yeah, okay, sure.”

#asks #my writing #snowflake of destruction #WIPs

[rosepetals-flyingbirds]

Family.

With: Eggsy x Reader.

Note: It happens around the second movie.

Word Count: 2,400.

After the whole incident with Poppy and her drugs, Harry was more than happy to go back home. Of course, his old house now was nothing but ashes but he and Eggsy could share a new house while Eggsy searched for a new place.

Harry, however, was nervous, a secret that only Merlin, God has his soul, knew. Harry had a daughter. Relationships and attachments were forbidden by the Kingsman, but no even Harry with all his loyalty could ignore when he first fell in love.

The woman was his sweetheart in high school, but when he left for the army he broke up with her.

Years passed and one day he was at a pub having a few drinks on his own trying to decide if he should or shouldn’t accept the Kingsman invitation. What he didn’t realize at first was the lady checking him out the whole night, when he did he saw the sweet girl he loved dearly in his early years, of course, her body was more accentuated and she wasn’t his sweet girl anymore, but a woman.

Harry didn’t lose time to talk to her, and she didn’t hold any resentment from him. The night ends up better than he thought it would.

He accepted the Kingsman’s offer but to his dismay, he couldn’t keep a relationship on his new field, differently than the army. So for the second time, Harry ended with her.

What he didn’t know, was that she was pregnant with his daughter.

You.

Over the years you never knew your father, while an innocent child you always asked your mother and she told you stories that he was a superhero saving the world, in the early moments you accepted and felt joy hearing that.

But when your mother was the only one you had and the kids made fun saying bad things about her, you started to pick up fights.

Your mother didn’t approve of course, but how could you accept those stupid kids saying bad things about your mother? You could not.

More years passed and your mother grew sick, cancer was what took her away from you. Your only family.

You finished school but the public school system didn’t work so good as people like to say, you had rent to pay and so many hospital bills that you couldn’t lose time studying for exams, you had to work. And the pub where your mother used to work was where accepted you.

Johnny, the owner, liked your mother dearly and even when you were younger he loved having you around, in the earlier hours of course, not when the place was filled with drunk people.

And on your eldest 17’s you started to work half shift and when you finally made 18 you worked twice as hard.

Men were shitty but gladly Johnny never saw you with a second intention and whenever some customer said something about you he was quick to dismiss them. It wasn’t like Johnny was your father, you would never see him as your father figure, but he was something close to an uncle… Maybe even a godfather.

Life wasn’t easy, and being lonely sucked.

One day you got home and to your surprise, your door was unlocked. Your heart had reached skyrocket at the moment, your house wasn’t in the calmer neighborhood after all.

Opening your purse and grabbing your switchblade you stepped inside the place. Nothing was out of the place, but you spotted a man sitting on your couch. Your childhood photo album on his hands.

“You need to change your lock. It was too easy to break in.” The man spoke without glancing at you.

“Yeah, now I’ll have to buy a new one.”

Darting his eyes at you he chuckled at the switchblade on your hand. “You should have another weapon, that one wouldn’t help if I was some robber.”

“It works perfectly for me. Who the hell are you and what are you doing at my house?”

“My name is Harry Hart, and… I’m your father.”

The words didn’t have the effect you thought it would. Along the years you wondered about that single moment, when your superhero father would appear, or perhaps the pirate of the fairy tales your mother used to tell you with a hint of sadness on her eyes.

But now? As an adult? Oh no, he wouldn’t enter your life so easily. “‘I’m your father’ that is it? After years and years you come here, break my lock and tell me that? What do you want?”

“Y/N I don’t want nothing, I’m-”

“You’re out of here. Get out of my house now before I call the police.”

“Can you listen?”

“No! Get out of here now!” Your voice grew louder and it surely made him uncomfortable, but he could not blame you for this.

Harry got on his feet and placed the album above the center table, he also took a card out of his pocket and let above the book. “If you need anything, please, do not hesitate to call.”

You look at him cautiously when he reached the door you grabbed the card and handed to him. “I don’t need you nor your help, I have been good on my own.”

Harry didn’t seem fazed by your attitude he only nodded and left closing the door behind.

You let a sob and broke in tears. You were so so tired! Working non stop to pay bills you didn’t even seem coming, it wasn’t like you lived in a luxurious place or that you had expensive clothes or shoes, you barely had food! And now the man who abandoned your mother came back offering for help? Oh no no no! You had too much self-love to accept his money.

Days passed after the incident and you were glad Harry didn’t appear again. It was the beginning of the month so Johnny paid you your salary and you didn’t even smile since all the money would be directed to the credit cards which you had used to pay the hospital for your deceased mother.

Reaching the bank you clicked in the directions and placed the money inside an envelope ready to pay another of the expensive parcels. However, when it opened it didn’t appear any money required, it was all paid. How?

Was it Harry? Oh no! He wouldn’t! … would he?

Calling the bank number you spoke with the clerk who explained that a man on his late 50’s appeared and paid the entire bill.

It was Harry then.

His card was still at your house, inside the trash can in the kitchen. Dealing the number he was quick to answer. “Y/N.”

“Listen I don’t know if you are trying to compensate the years of absence but I don’t need or want you. I don’t know how you knew about my bills but I don’t want your money. Please take it back.”

“I’m sorry, I cannot blame you for feeling in that way, but I think with your age you shouldn’t work like that to pay so many bills. You should be in college now, should be building your future.”

“My future? I have never seen you before and you never cared! Now you suddenly are worried?! Listen I want you to get your money back and leave me alone.”

“Well then.” Was his answer before declining.

For days you pondered about it all, did he knew of your existence before his arrival? Has he known about your mother’s sickness?

When you were losing sleep over this you texted him an address to have a coffee, you needed a few answers!

In the end, Harry knew about you since you were 5, your mother had a lot of pride -as you- and didn’t accept his money. And when he discovered she was sick he stood a few days in the hospital, in the early hours when you would be in school.

It was a slow process, but happily, you and Harry got closer than you thought it would. You were smart and knew all your wrath was some sort of shield trying to get hurt. You wouldn’t see him as a father figure, but he was a friend.

He explained what his job was and how sorry he was, which you didn’t believe at first was that he looked for you the moment he found out you had born. Apparently, your mother didn’t want his money nor his help, it was harsh to accept but you couldn’t blame her, she did the best she could and raised you with all she could give.

Harry showed you his house and Mr. Pickle! You loved dogs and even if a little macabre, it was good to see he was a good man. He said he was looking for some new agent whom would grab his spot. A retirement would do good for him.

After making sure he wouldn’t disappear and leave you alone you allowed him in, apparently, he has lots of money, and even if you didn’t care for it he made sure helping you it wouldn’t hurt.

You left your previous job, but promised Johnny you would visit! You left your old small apartment and stood with Harry for a few days while you searched for a place, nothing expensive of course. You didn’t want to leave your old place for starters, not if it wasn’t with your own money,

Meanwhile, Harry saw how good you were with technology, even if he wanted you to go to college and have a second chance in life, he wondered of how of a great addition you would do in the secret service.

Harry took you to meet Merlin like some sort of internship, and for Harry’s joy, Merlin loved how intelligent you were.

You got a job as his assistant, all the job’s benefits included.

Harry asked Merlin to keep you as a secret, no one, especially Arthur, could know you were his daughter. You didn’t get sad about that, you understood.

So many things happened and when Harry died you felt betrayed, he promised he wouldn’t abandon you, yet he did. And you not only lost your mother, the only family you knew once, but also your… father.

But now, he was back. Harry was anxious because you probably had grief for him, and now he would come back. It was even hard for him to understand the whole situation Ginger had made, but he was happy.

Eggsy didn’t understand why Harry was so concerned to go back home. “Are you that nervous to share your house with me?” Eggsy asked while both flew back to London, ready to re-build the Kingsman facility.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” Harry did love Eggsy as his own son after all.

“Then what is the problem?”

“Eggsy, I- I…”

“You what?”

Letting a sigh Harry tried to find the courage. “I have a daughter. Around your age, her name is Y/N.”

“What? Why you never told me this before?” Eggsy asked and tried to read Harry’s worries. “Wait, she doesn’t know you’re an agent?”

“She does, she works for the Kingsman as well, to be honest, the intelligence part.”

Eggsy eyes widened at that, he never thought of it before. But his eyes widened, even more, remembering how Poppy exploded the whole Kingsman. “Harry, is she alright?!”

“Yes, she is. I asked Merlin and thankfully she was out with a few friends on that fearful day.”

“Thank God! So, why are you so worried?”

“I’m the only family she has left, and I bet the moment she saw me 'dying’ in Valentine’s hands she felt all the sorrow again. Now I will appear to her like a ghost.”

“I bet she will be happy.”

                 …

And as Egssy said, you did.

Of course, it was unexpected seeing him there, alive. For a few seconds, you stood frozen in the spot, you recognized Eggsy of the files you’ve seen and the times Harry mentioned the boy. But seeing Harry, your father, alive was amazing!

Hugging him with all of your strength Harry felt relieved by your reaction.

It would be a long process to rebuild Kingsman and everything that it leads, but Harry was happy to have you and Eggsy by his side.

Three Years Later.

Eggsy was a flirt. And how could you ignore that sweet boy? Five months after Harry coming back to your life you and Eggsy started to date.

Harry made the whole ’father speech’ to him but you knew he approved the relationship between you two.

Kingsman would never be the same without Merlin and Harry’s/Eggsy’s fellow’s agents, but it was working.

Gladly with the Kingsman’s Kentucky division, things were working even better.

You shared your house with your beloved boyfriend, he just finished a mission in Japan and was about to arrive home.

“Baby, I’m home!” Hearing his voice you ran downstairs to hug him.

“Finally!” You attacked him with kisses and were received with the same passion. “I knew you were safe but nothing feels better than having you here.”

He took a time to hold your face in his hands, nothing as better than be at home. “I know I know, but what would I do if my best girl wasn’t in my ear-com all the time to give me instructions inside that Japanese mob?”

Grinning at him you faked pondering. “Hmmm, probably dead.”

“Yeah.” He engulfed you in a tight embrace ad you stood there for what seemed like hours.

Eggsy was amazing, and having him under your hands meant the world. His job was important, but the nervous state you got was insane. “I called Harry in the way and we will have dinner in that expensive restaurant.”

“Babe, I’m happy you and my father have such a great bond but I missed you.”

He knew very well what you meant. “Y/N, I have been gone for nine days, and we spoke basically the whole time.”

“Blame me for missing my boyfriend.” You replied and he smiled at your eagerness.

“I missed you too. Buuut if we cancel now he’ll know what we will be doing and I do not need him to give me a speech.”

Harry would surely give him a speech. “You are right, my love.”

After getting ready and controlling in the maximum to not jump in each other’s bodies you and Eggsy arrived in the restaurant.

Harry was already there and it was good to feel so much love.

Your life has changed and you were glad it did. You had your father and your boyfriend with you, the work wasn’t the most ’mortal’ one but you helped to save the world and that was really gratifying.

And for Harry, he not only took care of his friend’s son like was his own, but also found his daughter, his family. Something he never knew he needed but was glad it happened.

                    …

#eggsy x reader #kingsman x reader

[thedeeperlayer]

I was fourteen when I first tasted the sweet, aromatic blend of tobacco, sugars, and ammonia compounds. It was 1998. The year of Clinton and Lewinsky. The year the guy from Die Hard was saving the Aerosmith-adjacent Earth from a Michael Bay Meteorite. 

I was fourteen. Instead of navigating the intolerable 3D world of Hyrule in Ocarina of Time, I was out making an imprudent moron out of myself with an RCA Solid State Image Sensor VHS Camcorder. My idiotic entourage and myself thought we were the uproarious epitome of cool. In actuality, we were ridiculous, annoying fuckwits. I was an absolute pain in the ass.

I'm not going to cock and bull with excuses. I started smoking because I thought I was fucking cool. I had older friends that did it and I dated girls that did it. When my mum found out I was flicking the Bic on the cancer stick, she was both disappointed and somewhat content. Her contentment for my lung corruption behavior was only because it meant she now had a smoking mate.

Mum and Pops didn't always have a harmonious relationship. They would cross swords and oppose each other's views a lot. Mum would complain about Pops never being home. Pops would bewail mum's smoking habit. It was always constant repetition down the same path. Dad never knew I smoked. He would of berated mum and blamed her if he ever found out.

Because of our shared toxic pastime, my mum and I became very close. We discussed all things life. Everything from grace and elegance to the septic shithole bottom. We talked about atrocious dislikes and stupefying satisfactions. We told mindless jokes and gave deep-thought opinions. 

For the sake of storytelling length, let's just say we always had each other's back. 

Unfortunately, the clock ticks, and the hours pass. In a blink of an eye, things are different. I grew up. I got married. I moved. Mum was downhearted and sad. I was the first of her children to leave from beneath her roof. 

I've worked lousey, shit jobs just to make ends. It is indeed accordance with fact, smoking does alleviate stress. I didn't think it was cool to smoke anymore, instead I smoked because my shitty job was an emotional mindfuck. Pounding the coffin nails down my throat made me feel better. 

I didn't want to poison my saclike respiratory organs anymore. I tried quitting. I tried the gum that supposedly calms cravings. I tried the rubber band wrist snap when I had the desire. I tried the ridiculous electronic substitutes. Nothing worked. I thought, fuck it. I didn't want to grow old and become one of the dust bags that retire in Florida anyway.

It was October, 2015. I was just finishing a much needed break from my mediocre job. My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was mum calling. I contentedly answered it. 

She said she had a mass on her lungs. She told me not to be worried, it could be pneumonia. She said she would let me know more tomorrow. 

I instantly broke down and wailed. I could feel that something was extraordinarily wrong. My heart was in excruciating pain. It was exceedingly difficult to finish my shift that night. Every time I was alone, my eyes would swell. It was a long, tedious night.

The following day, I anxiously waited for mum to call. 

Haplessly, she called right before I had to go to work. She said it was stage 4 lung cancer. She told me not to worry. She said she was going to get help. I knew stage 4 was the inevitable. It's treatable, but not curable.

I was so heartsick.

I lit cigarette after cigarette.

My family was devastated. Mum is the support beam that holds my lunatic family's structure together. My brother and sister were in severe shock. Pops was completely shattered. 

The following week, my wife and I picked mum up from the hospital. She was being fitted for a radiotherapy mask. Mum was spiritless. She lacked vigor and enthusiasm. She looked defeated. This was the one time I convulsively, and uncontrollably sobbed in front of her. If you knew mum, she was always resilient and enduring. She was wholehearted, and a matriarch to many. It was challenging to see her in that frail condition. 

I lit cigarette after cigarette.

Mum had sort of a short fringe hairstyle with spiky bangs. She would ornament it with a decorative headband. Often she would dye it golden or honey blonde to hide the off-putting grays. 

The days passed. Weeks. My wife and I made frequent visits. Mum was sitting in her recently purchased stationary style comfy chair. She was wearing a sun-style flat brim cap. Mum never wore hats. “I'm losing my hair,” she said. She lifted a grocery sac where she was accumulating a large cache of her hair. 

Eventually Pops shaved her head. 

My wife and I purchased her a collection of hats.

The holidays came. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Mum always took pride in cooking the meals. She couldn't anymore. She was too weak. She could hardly walk. It was now Pop's responsibility to  prepare the brown sugar glazed ham. She shouted out the recipe to him in the kitchen. “Heat the honey and sugar until it dissolves!” Pops would earnestly urge her not to yell. She was always short-winded and depended on oxygen gas to breathe.  

Christmas morning was grim. Mum kept saying she wanted to have a nice Christmas. “This might be my last Christmas. I want it to be nice,” she despairingly would say. 

We wore smiles but they were fraudulent. Inside we were somber. Cheerless. Gift exchange was dispiriting. We were appreciative, but it was hard to express it. The only audio in the room was the pulling and shredding of novelty wrapping paper. We played unintellectual board games while Mum sat in the living room and stared at the TV. The Hallmark holiday collection was on but Mum wasn't interested. She was disconnected, absent of response. 

My wife and I went home. I lit cigarette after cigarette.

January came and went. February came. Mum had gotten worse. We went to visit her on my birthday. She was without emotion. Unresponsive. Pops struggled to make her recognize my company. She was comatose-like. Pops was in a panic. We rushed her to the ICU. She now had malignant brain tumors. Her recent actions were symptoms. The drowsiness. The constant agitation. 

She was given enough treatment to restore her moral senses. She asked to see me and my wife. Mum was stretched out on a hospital cot. She was buried beneath intravenous lines and hoses. She saw us and smiled. “Watch this,” she gently said. She proceeded with plucking the pulse oximeter from her finger to mortify the doctors. She still had her sense of humor. 

Later, Nurse Ratched impertinently pulled my family away from Mum. She disrespectfully spoke of Mum's unavoidable fate. Ratched told us that Mum will die. She told us to make sure we make the correct decision when the time comes. 

No one in my family wanted to hear that. 

The hospital discharged Mum.

My wife and I went home. I lit a cigarette. I took a drag, hardly inhaling. I breathed in a few more. 

I delve into searches about the great demise on Google. I’m not one who appreciates surprises, so I wanted to be hauntingly prepared. 

As the end approaches, your role is to be present, provide passionate comfort, and remove doubts from your loved one with soothing words and loving actions that help maintain their mental ease and dignity.

The entire evening I fixedly scrutinized my phone screen. It made me overwhelmed with grief. It put me in an unsettling place. It was that night that I accepted that my Mum was actually going to be gone.

Her condition continued to worsen.

It was difficult for her to digest food. She no longer could intake any solids. Pops couldn’t accept the harshness of the situation. He was in rack and ruin. Blatantly, he would hurry to the nearest fast-food establishment and order her a strawberry milkshake. In double time he would speed home to give her the malted treat. She would fiercely vacuum in the strawberry drink through a straw. Clearly she was hungry, but her gasping, pain and abnormal breathing patterns made it difficult for her to swallow. 

Pops told me, the prior evening, he strenuously got Mum into the loo. He proceeded to aid her, however she immediately denied his assistance. “Let me help you,” he despairingly said. “But you're a boy and I'm a girl,” she woefully baffled. 

Delirium. One of the common symptoms observed near death. 

Pops was hysterical. This unforeseen responsibility was so unfamiliar to him. He was terrified. He was frightened to lose the one person he spent his entire life with. 

Again he rushed her to intensive care.

My wife and I were at home. I lit a cigarette. I took a drag and quickly put it out.

Mum was denied anymore treatment. She was recommended hospice care and medically necessary equipment for at-home use. 

Pops thought hospice may not only be valuable to Mum, but also beneficial to him because the workers could assist him through the inexperience and unexpected. We all knew what misery and despair would come next, but Pops was in a idiosyncratic denial. 

Hospice was fucking useless, but more on that a little later.

My wife and I visited her everyday. 

Each day she worsened and disintegrating. 

She was often confused. She would appear asleep, but her breathing would be noisy, congested. She would appear peaceful and at rest, and within seconds she would begin screaming. She would holler agonizing cries. Dad would have to pump her with morphine to tranquilise her treacherous pain.

Day after day, her conditioned intensified. Her skin's pigment distorted to a grayish tone. Her face had depressed and sunken below her eyes. Her lips dried up and shriveled. 

The drainage bag connected to the catheter began to fill with a rust color. 

She had abnormal growths swell in unusual parts of her body.

Day after day we visited. She no longer would move. The congested breathing was the remaining sign of life. We attentively watched over her like this for days. She didn't want to go. She dearly loved her family. The Oncologist asked her, “what do you live for?” Her response was so straightforward and emotionally rewarding. She said, “my family”. Mum was uncomplicated. She lived to be a loving mum and caring wife. She always put her family first. That's who she was. 

She died on August 22, 2016. She battled cancer for seven months. She spent nearly four weeks in hospice care. Only four short instances was Hospice workers available for aid, one of the times being immediately after death. The available nurse plucked an orange Marigold from the neighbors’ garden and lied it in my Mum's cold hands. She called the Funeral Home to coordinate arrangements for pickup and hastily left. 

It was a horrifying experience for my family. Not only for us observing every nightmarish minute, but for Mum too. I can't imagine how afraid she was and how she felt. I just hope it wasn't guilt that resonated with her in her final days. She was the reason my family was so profound and passionate about things. The reason we were all there, again and again, expressing our sorrow and love together.

I haven't smoked a cigarette since her later days in hospice care. 

She was a beautiful, loving person, and we watched her severely weaken and diminish largely because of a lifelong bad habit. I never want to put anyone I love through that, ever again.

#smoking #quit smoking #real life #cigarettes #death #life and death #quit #bad habits #writting #write #truth #its the truth

[nickmuch]

c.z.k. - high school (Part 2)

PART 1 / PART 3

Note: I was asked to turn this into a longer story, so here’s part 2! I don’t know in what direction to necessary go with this and how to end/wrap it up, so if you have any ideas message me pls! I’ll try to make this a 5-part-imagine.

Also: Edwin crackhead hours have arrived. Again

“So, you’re cool with that?!” Edwin shouted in disbelief.

Nearly four months had passed since my little moment with Zion and a lot had happened during this time. After the party, everything seemed to go smoothly between us. Probably way too smoothly. We spent most of our free-time together, doing god knows what. However, at the end we decided we would be better off as just friends. He reasoned that it was unfair to the boys and only made the whole group dynamic odd. I was okay with that. Okay, scratch that, I wasn’t okay with that. But I wasn’t going to throw a fit or anything and honestly it ended up working out better than I would have thought.

“Sure, why shouldn’t I?” I asked. This only made me earn a scoff from him. “Are you okay? Do you have a fever or something? Did you catch a cold?” Edwin pressed the back of his hand against my forehead, trying to see if I was indeed getting sick. “Stop that” Nick mumbled, swatting his hand away from me. “Bro, she’s okay with that, though!”. The neighboring table turned around giving us glares for being so loud. “Excuse my little idiotic friend over there” Austin apologized in behalf of Ed. He was just about to protest when he got interrupted by Brandon. “She’s okay with what …?”.

He had spent half of the lunch-time in the art room, trying to compose a beat he couldn’t get out of his head and for which he might have earned himself detention from our English teacher for “making too much noise during class”.

“She’s okay with Z and Asya hanging out” “Hanging out? Since when is that a problem? They are friends I thought?”. Edwin slapped him across the back of his head. “Are y’all dumb or are y’all stupid?! They are dating or something, Ion even know. But I for sure saw ‘em swap spit earlier this morning and thinking about it now: B, you can have my lunch. I lost my appetite.” He shoved his tray in Brandon’s direction, who didn’t even notice judging from his perplex expression towards me. “So, you’re trying to tell me that Z is with Asya – the girl who he said was like a cousin –“ “Correction, he said little sister” Nick chimed in. The boy with glasses shook his head. “Alright, who he said was like a little sister. And you’re cool with that? Even though that’s low key incest-y If I might add. Besides, do I have to remind you that not even a month ago he broke things off out of nowhere with the shittiest of the shittiest excuses? You cried for the whole weekend!”.

He was right. I had cried about it for three days straight. I really didn’t mean to, but somehow, I guess I liked him more than I wanted to admit. The first night the boys had made it their mission to cheer me up, but once they realized it wasn’t working, they just joined me and my pity party with some Ben & Jerry’s. At some point, Edwin even shed a tear or two. “I just don’t know if I should be sad that my favorite ship just sank or if I should beat his lanky ass for breaking my twin’s heart!” he exclaimed.

“I know, but I’m over it now” I poked in my salad. “And frankly, he is too by the looks of it”. I really didn’t mean to look over to her table. It just happened for a split second. Of course, it was right in the moment he was leaning in, giving her a kiss on the lips. She was blushing like mad. “This is so disgusting. Here, you can have my lunch” Brandon slid the tray - that originally was Edwin’s - into Austin’s direction. “I just don’t get it, man. Zion really liked you. Why did he pull that move on you?” Nick asked. No one could answer him. All of our gazes were pointed in their direction. After what felt like years, I decided that enough was enough and got up. “Yo, where you goin’? We still need to talk about this” Edwin stopped me to pull me down again. Though, I ended up sitting on his lap instead of my original spot, he seemed to not care. He was determined to get the truth out of me. If there was one thing you needed to know about Edwin, it was that he cared about his family dearly. Whenever one of his siblings was sad, he automatically was sad, too. Ever since I moved in, that same rule applied to me.

“You want the truth?” I said annoyed. All I wanted was to get out of here, in all honesty. The feeling of humiliation was getting stronger by the second. He just nodded cautiously, as if he didn’t know whether or not to answer me. “I feel like shit” I said, feeling a little bit relieved to finally speak my mind. “He’s annoying me. Just last month he was all into me and suddenly he’s with her?! Plus, what type of shitty excuse is that?” my voice was starting to tremble at this point.“It’s unfair to the boys and makes the whole group dynamic odd” I mocked him. “I am really starting to think that I was just pass-time to him and that makes me mad. It’s really unfair, okay?! If you like someone else, why in the flying fuck would you even get involved with me? Ugh, fuck this shit. I don’t even wanna be his friend anymore. Seeing his face makes me wanna beat his ass and I ain’t about that life. My momma raised me better than beating the ass of a bean stick!”.

Once I was finished with my rant, I finally dared to look at the boys. All of them had shock written all over their faces. “Aye, Ma” Nick spoke first. “You should’ve told us earlier. We would’ve checked him and at least made sure he wouldn’t be all lovey-dovey with her in your presence”. All I did was sigh.

“I don’t know what to say. Or feel” Austin looked so helpless. He was struggling to find the right comforting words and suddenly I felt horrible for dragging them into my stupid problems. “It’s alright. You don’t have to say anything. I will get over it at some point. It’s not like he’s the only cute boy in New York”. “That’s right, I’m cuter” Edwin tried to lighten the mood and it actually worked. We were all laughing before the bell rang, signaling that class was starting soon.

After school, Edwin immediately drove us both home, so I could take a nap before the boys came over. As soon as I was in my bed, I of course was struggling to fall asleep. “Can you come over? I can’t sleep” I spoke into the phone. Not even ten seconds later, Edwin barged into my room, getting under the covers with me. The fact we got so close over the last few months was making me happy, to say the least. It wasn’t weird to share a bed with each other, we were siblings after all. “We shared a womb, we might as well be able to share a bed” he had said jokingly one day. The silence was comforting me in a way I couldn’t explain in words.

“Fuck Z”. Him suddenly speaking shook me out of my thoughts. “I mean, don’t fuck him. But fuck him. You know?”. Sometimes, it was hard for Edwin to find the right words. It wasn’t because he didn’t know what to say, but rather the fact he had so many things to say that it just ended up blocking his mind ultimately. “I know”.

“This is some sweet home alabama shit” “Shut up, Austin. They just fell asleep together, no big deal” “Okay guys, but I’m getting hungry. Should we wake ‘em up now?”. His body started to shift beneath me, both of us fully waking up by the noise the others were making. “Good morning, honey bubbas!” all three of them were towering over us. The sight was rather scary, with their creepy grins plastered on their faces. “What time is it?” Edwin asked sleepily. He seemed a bit disoriented. “Time for you to get up and make us some food! Mama Honoret went out with the niñitos, so we’re all by ourselves”.

Slowly, we got out of bed to go find something to eat in the kitchen. Ding Dong. The doorbell rang. “Do you guys expect someone?” I asked confused. None of them were able to meet my eyes, looking slightly uncomfortable and at a loss for words. Instead of waiting for a reply, I went straight to the door to open it. “Wait!” “Hold up!” “Don’t” “No!”. Too late. There he stood, three boxes of pizza in his hands. “Uhm, hey”. My first instinct was to slam the door shut in his face and cuss the others out for not telling me sooner. However, on second thought, I decided against it. “Hi. Come in, I guess”. Awkwardly, he greeted his friends and made his way towards the kitchen to put the food on the counter. “So, uhm how about we watch some Netflix while we eat? On My Block sounds good?” Edwin tried to distract from the obvious thick tension in the air. I wasn’t going to ruin what should’ve been a chill night with my favorite people (minus Caleb) and just said “Sure, sounds good”.

The whole night was spent with Zion staring me down from his seat and Edwin exaggeratedly laughing at the funny moments to avoid the awkward atmosphere. Brandon was busy shoving his face with pizza – probably so that he didn’t have to speak. Nick and Austin were arguing about the gang situation in Freeridge. “If he wants his little brother to live a better life, then why is he dragging him into it? Isn’t he the gang leader or something? Just let your brother go to school and boom, problem solved” “It’s not that easy, bro! You want Oscar to lose his street credibility? Might as well put his clown suit on already”.

When I shifted to find a better position, his eyes were still on me. So, I decided to send him a quick text in hopes of making him stop.

< Dude, stop staring. Ur making me mad >

< I’m not staring, u must be trippin shawty >

< first of all, you’ve been staring since season 1 chapter 2. We’re on season 2 now. Second of all, if you call me shawty one more time imma rip ur ass open >

He visibly gulped at my last sentence, contemplating what to reply but ultimately deciding against it and sliding his phone back into his back pocket. Quietly, he stood up exclaiming to the group that he had to leave. A loud sigh of relief left Brandon’s lips, as if he had been waiting for this moment the whole night. “Thank god” he mumbled lowly, yet everyone could hear him clearly but decided to ignore it. “I’ll see you guys on Monday”. With that, he immediately left.

“I think I’ll call it a night. Haven’t really slept well recently”. It was true, I could barely fall asleep nowadays. Tired or not, the night wasn’t my best friend anymore. Everything was keeping me up. The drama with Caleb, the new life I yet had to adjust to – the boys made it easier, though -, and the passing of my parents. It was all too much at once. How was I supposed to comprehend all of this in just a matter of three months? Exactly, there was no waysomeone could deal with that in such a short period of time. The first couple of weeks I was as good as could be expected under the circumstances, but now it all seemed to slowly catch up on me.

“What! No! This was supposed to be a chill night, followed by the best sleepover of all time!”Edwin stood up, trying to make me stay by hugging my body tightly. “Yeah, you can’t leave! Not when Edwin is acting like a crackhead again” Brandon said, his arms securely wrapped around my shoulders. “Aight, I guess it’s group hug hours”. Soon, I found myself squished between not only Ed and B, but also Nick and later even Austin. “Okay, you guys won. I’ll stay”. They cheered at their victory, all pulling away at once. “But” This made everyone look at me suspiciously. “We’re gonna do a beauty-night!” I exclaimed happily with the biggest smile on my face. “Oh hell nah, I’m out!” Edwin crossed his arms, slightly turning away with his nose all scrunched up and brows furrowed. To be honest, he looked like a baby right now. “… unless this means I’m allowed to use that weird blue face mask from Lush?” he asked full of hope. “Yeah, why not”.

In a matter of minutes, we were all piled up on my bed, discussing what face mask would be the best for whom. “Your skin’s whack! Go put that charcoal one on, do something nice for your pores for once” Ed threw the bottle with the black liquid at Nick who grumpily obliged and started to apply it all over his face. “This feels nice. What exactly is that?” Brandon was looking curiously at the big tube in his hands, examining it in hopes of understanding what he just put on his skin. “It’s clay” I told him. “Clay” he repeated quietly and slowly, to no one in particular. Shaking my head with a content smile on my lips, I turned to Austin to see how he was holding up. We decided to let him try a bubble mask but looking at it now we might have made the wrong decision. Every inch of his face was covered in bubbles, and when I say every inch, I mean Every. Inch. Of. His. Precious. Face. “My eyes are burning, is this normal?”. “… Yes” I lied. Grabbing a wet cloth, I softly started rubbing the mask off of him before he ended up blind.

“Okay, what’s next? Do we paint each other’s nails? Do we play pillow fight? Do we talk about our menstrual cycle?”.

“What the fuck, Edwin?!”.

“Hey! Nothing wrong with talking about periods. It’s a natural thing and frankly, it’s actually good to talk about it with your friends to see, if – “

“Of course it’s a normal thing to talk about, but I think you might’ve forgotten something”.

Edwin looked at Brandon quizzingly. “We don’t have a uterus”.

“… Oh”.

Sometimes, he was just too much, but that’s why we loved him. “I think it’s time for bed, boys”. Reluctantly, they got up and lied on their designated air mattresses. “But Edwin can sleep in your bed? That’s so rude, Ma”. “Shut up, shark boy. I’m her twin, that’s just how we roll” he laughed evilly before turning the lights off and saying our good nights to each other.

“If it bothers you so much, why don’t you just tell him?” B looked at the direction my eyes were trained on. Zion would whisper something into Asya’s ear, making her giggle, then he would whisper something else, making her giggle again and so on. I was getting aggravated. “Can’t. That’s super awkward. I wish he’d just use one of his last functioning three brain cells to consider my feelings and not do all that while we share the same class”. Cleaning his glasses with his cotton shirt, he took his time to say something. “Tell him just that”. Turning around, I rolled my eyes at him. “Caleb, stooop!” she giggled for what felt like the millionth time. Before I knew what was happening, I was right in front of Zion dragging him out of the class and into the empty hallway. “What’s your problem?!” I shouted into his face. “My problem? No, what’s your problem?!”. I was this close to just going back in and ignoring him for the rest of my life, but something inside of me told me to keep going. It was now or never. “My problem is” I began. “You’re so fucking annoying and mean and selfish as fuck, only caring about yourself and never considering other people’s feelings! As if it wasn’t shitty enough how you broke things off, no you also have to flaunt your fling-”I knew it wasn’t just a fling, but honestly? I didn’t give a damn. He was rude, so I was being rude. “- into my face! Be secretive! Or at least just stop when I’m around. That’s all I’m asking from you”.

He didn’t say a single word. Not one. Instead he was searching my eyes, trying to see if I really meant what I just said. Seconds passed, turning into minutes. “Aren’t you going to say something? Defend yourself or whatever?”. Him staying silent made my blood boil because I felt ignored and just really stupid for straight up having an outburst without it affecting him. “There’s nothing to defend because you’re right. About everything. And I’m sorry for not realizing sooner how shitty I was behaving”. To say I was taken aback was an understatement. “That’s all?”. The silence was killing me and all I wanted was to go back to class. “No”. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me towards his chest. “What are you do-“ “Shut up”.

Next thing I knew, (I was pregnant) I felt his lips grazing mine and before I could stop him, he had already fully kissed me. I wanted to feel repulsed, I wanted to feel disgusted, I wanted to feel mad. But I couldn’t. I had missed him and I couldn’t deny it. When I pulled away, he tried to make me stay in place. That’s when my senses came back to me and reality hit me. “Dude, what’s wrong with you?! You have a new girl, remember?”. I pushed his chest, freeing myself. Once I was about to open the door again, I noticed that Zion still hadn’t moved an inch. Turning around, I wanted to tell him to move his ass back to class before both of us would get in trouble. But he never gave me a chance at that.

“I know, but I can’t get my real girl outta my head”.

Also2: I don’t know if I like this part, it’s more of a filler. I tried to put the focus on the relationship between her and Edwin, but also tried to give glimpses of the friendship between her and the rest of the boys. Zion isn’t included much because he’s always hanging out with that other chick. This part is set during the time where both of them try to avoid each other, so I wanted to make it as realistic as possible.

Let me know what your favorite part or line was! Hope you liked it xx

- Cami

#brandon arreaga #brandon arreaga imagines #brandon arreaga imagine #edwin honoret #edwin honoret imagine #edwin honoret imagines #austin porter #austin porter imagines #austin porter imagine #nick mara #nick mara imagines #nick mara imagine #zion kuwonu #zion kuwonu imagines #zion kuwonu imagine #pm #prettymuch #pm imagine #pm imagines #prettymuch imagines #prettymuch blurbs #pm blurbs #fanfic #pm fanfic #love

[neoyeppuda]

fall - meanie

a/n: hi i’m back with a shitty thing and i’m gonna be mad if this gets like no notes bc my last mb got 9 notes and we have 2k followers so guys step up

genre: angst

word count: 1003

warnings: mentions of depression, break up

It was the first time Wonwoo had left the house in a extended period of time. Between break-up blues, studying and depression, it was hard to get out, even if it was for food or something for his studies, in which he was just scraping by at the moment anyways. In the last few weeks of trying to finish his degree in law, all Wonwoo had been doing was surviving off instant ramen and energy drinks while writing about the psychology used in mens rea and more components of forensic psychology for interviewing clients and witnesses.

In the two weeks since Wonwoo had left his apartment last for anything other than class lectures and workshops, not much had happened. His friends had been around very few days to make sure that he was still alive and eating, not just studying and checking his phone for something from his ex non-stop. His instant ramen stash had gotten too low, so now his friends were bringing him food and more of the sodium-filled packets. Wonwoo’s friends were also bitter towards Mingyu for what happened with him. They had all considered him a friend but now he’s worsened a close friends mental health tenfold.

Wonwoo recalled the argument on his way to pick up new textbooks for an upcoming unit involving copyrights and commercial law, tears stung at the back of his eyes as he walked, “I can’t keep looking after you when you fall, Wonwoo.” They were harsh words coming from the man he loved so dearly. “I can’t do this, you’re so… I don’t know. Unresponsive? Emotionless? I need something back, Wonwoo.”

He wanted to yell that it wasn’t his fault and that he did love Mingyu, and with a great personal loss too. When he came out to former friends before leaving for law school, they quickly turned on him and do did their parents, even the few that considered him as a son.

Wonwoo quickly turned the corner, not far from the universities book shop. Cold air sweeping through his thinly padded jacket, making the rattle in his chest seem so much worse. Other people walked past, looking similar to Wonwoo with their hands were shoved into their pockets and their shoulders hunched, trying to conserve body heat.

He welcomed the warmth that encased his body as he entered the book shop, taking a sigh in relief from escaping the cold bite of winters air. His yellow hoodie was damp from the snowflakes that had landed on him through the walk, and as he pushed the hood off and swept his hair out of his eyes, he was greeted with a person he wasn’t expecting to see.

There she stood, flicking through a medicine textbook. His ex-boyfriend’s sister. Wonwoo froze immediately, he missed his ex dearly but their relationship ended sourly, and it’s more than likely that his sister knows the whole saga. At first, he didn’t see anyone else in the shop, but then, like a mermaid rising from an ocean of paper, the girl emerged across the room. Her and her brother looked almost identical, if they didn’t look so similar, Wonwoo probably wouldn’t have recognised her. Minseo’s long bob hadn’t changed for the entire time he had known her and now, after a month without seeing her she’s dyed and cut her hair, bangs now just reaching her eyebrows.

Wonwoo had forgotten that Minseo went to the same university as him. Lectures for medicine and law never coincided which meant he ever only saw her when he visited Mingyu’s family. Mingyu still had a family, and the idea of one was now a foreign concept to Wonwoo. He had imagined plenty of times that maybe, in the future, he might adopt a child with Mingyu but the idea of that is just a painful dream now.

Minseo caught his eye and her eyes lit up, “Wonwoo!” The strides she took to reach him were quick and the smile on her face looked fake. She wrapped her arms around his boney frame and held him tightly, she whispered, “I’m so sorry…  What Mingyu did to you… He never should have done that”

A second unexpected event for today. He was confused, Wonwoo figured that Minseo would side with her brother and be willing to forget Wonwoo in an instant. It was then that a towering figure came into his view, “Minseo?”

Wonwoo recognised that voice immediately. It’s the same one that told him he was void of emotion and left soon thereafter, breaking what little was left of his heart. He let go of Minseo and walked off quickly, shooting her an apologetic look after he was further away from the pair of siblings. Instead of occupying himself with thoughts of his ex and how it looked like the breakup hadn’t affected him at all, he busied himself with going through the new textbook he had to get.

It was pages upon pages of legal terms and cases that he had already studied and written about. He sighed, the books were heavy with knowledge he had no use for. Sure, he was studying to become a prosecutor but it was never actually his dream, but rather his father’s. Wonwoo just went along with it because he didn’t know what else to do with his life.

His thoughts were interrupted by that familiar voice again, “so, you’re still doing whatever your father wants you to do, huh?”

“What do you want?”

“To talk.”

Wonwoo felt like scoffing, Mingyu had that chance while they were still dating but he used it when he broke the laters heart. He shook his head and let a dumb smile spread across his face, he wanted to tell Mingyu how much he hated him at this moment, for walking back into his life so simply and asking for a second chance, that’s just not how things usually work. But was he going to sit down with his ex and listen to him ramble on? Of course.

#mingyu #wonwoo #seventeen #meanie #seventeen meanie #meanie au #seventeen au #seventeen scenario #lawyer au #seventeen imagine #seventeen smut #seventeen moodboard #seventeen mingyu #seventeen wonwoo #meanie scenario

[chickenmcfuggits]

WIP

Running until her lungs burned but the feeling overshadowed by how much it hurt inside. Out of breath slow down with her arms wrapped around her chest as she tried to sob and gasp for breath at the same time. She paid no notice to the mucus or the passersby staring at her. There was only the emotion, a physical pain where no injury existed yet pain nonetheless. And suddenly the eyes on her became oppressive and she had to get away. Down into the subway and on before she even registered taking her rail pass out of her pocket. Alone now the world receded into a gray haze, and the tears finally flowed.

 He stepped on and felt the pain before he even saw her. It made him wince, checked his stride a moment, then he sat down across the aisle.

                        “Hi. I’m Kevin. Everyone is a bit busy, so they sent me.”

He stares at her eyes as she gives him a questioning look. The hurt so real, solid, material, it was like you could touch it.

“The angels, the spirits, whatever you wish to call them. They didn’t think they’d get here in time, so they sent me.”

There was still that glaze, that disconnection with what was around her. She saw, she heard, but she wasn’t listening. He leaned forward, and his face hardened.

“You didn’t see this coming and you can’t get a grip on it, can you? That they’re gone?”

There, she’s starting to comprehend. This is happening. A stranger is looking inside of her. Survival instinct should pull her out some now. Good. Things should move along now. He was right in the middle when this came up.

“Listen, we’re going to have to work together on this, bringing me up to speed. I didn’t have any notice. I was just in the neighborhood a few blocks away and she reached out to me, your Grandmother I think it was.”

Her lips pursed slowly as if to whistle, and eyebrows moved together in a frown. This was too much for her, and her strength of spirit was coming to the front.

“Who am I? I told you my name is Kevin. No idea what yours is but I figured at some point you would tell me as long as I arrived beforehand.”

“I’m S…Sarah. What beforehand…who are you……Grandmoms…. what?” Confusion led to tears again, and mucus from her nose but this time embarrassment and her sleeve to wipe it. He handed her a rag from his pocket.

“Before you stopped your life, ended your story, killed yourself. In about two more stops I think Grandma was saying.”

Now a reddening and anger crossed her which didn’t really surprise him. To know one’s self is to be well aware of one’s shitty bedside manner. He excused it with the urgency of the matter at hand.

“Kevin or whoever you are my Grandmoms has been dead for a year.”, the anger turns to a brood turns back to controlled tears,” Everyone I love…depend on….dies.”

Delicately now boyo, he thought. You can’t stop her physically, those are the rules. She must make the decision or in this case not make the decision. Yours is just to make sure she makes the right one. You’re never going to make it as a politician. Pull your head out of your ass. This one is self-assured, strong, even if she’s about give up her oxygen rights and you have a nasty habit of spitting out truth a little too bluntly. Smooth this one out.

“Okay listen. Grandmoms…..,” his eyes look up and to the right, “Rachel…. screamed at my higher self a few minutes ago that I had to save you and practically punted me here Astrally which would have been quite a feat as I’ve never been into Astral travel and not sure what I would have done had I been sent here that way. Heh”

His humor only funny to himself, he gathered his thoughts for another try. Focus, asshole. This kid’s been through it and you’re being a dick.

“Yes, I know by that look…just trust me. Your Grandmother came in like a jet landing at full speed, full protection of the loved one mode. I didn’t get to speak with her, I just went the direction I was shoved and saw a few flashes, a few bits of what I needed to do.”

“Are you a medium?”, she asked.

“I’m not sure what you’d call me, but for now I’m your guardian’s bitch….no, that doesn’t sound right. It’s hard to explain.”, deep breath for a pause, “When you take steps forward, spiritually, you take on responsibilities. The same beings who give to you also require from you. It’s like a pact with the universe.” He could see he was wandering too far away. Maybe this was good but getting their mind off it always left the door open for later. He pulled another rag from the pocket of his flak jacket.

“I’ve been a lot of things like a soldier and a cop and I served people. But I was rigid, believed in God and all that. Was married for a few years which was a story unto itself but after that was over I met a girl, Erin, my soulmate. I lost her and coping with it led me into spiritual matters. I couldn’t move on with the tools I had inside me, so I investigated other ways. Zen. Law of Attraction. That shit.” Wrap it up. This documentary of self-discovery is taking too long, and your personal life is stupid anyway.

“I found I had gifts that others had as well and used them. No, Erin never came back to me, but I grew inside and accepted it. Then I learned there’s a cost. But those of us in the game pay it willingly. Now, about time you tell me what you are feeling.”

Anger.

“Feeling? Isn’t it obvious? My life turned to shit not an hour ago then some stranger on the subway is telling me he spoke with my Grandmoms who is gone. I thought empathic people could tell how somebody felt just by...feeling..I guess.”

“I’m not trying to find out how you are feeling, Sarah. I know how you are feeling, or how I would feel if I just found my three closest friends…..” BRAKES DIPSHIT! “Listen. I guess what I’m asking is do you know? Do you know what is going on inside your heart this very moment?” softly, draw her out.

“I don’t know. Lost, I guess. Alone. Lisa and the rest baked with me a few times, but they started getting into other stuff I wasn’t ready for. We drifted. But I was alone too much after that and today I just went back to see if we could patch things and…”

The sobs started in her stomach and rose through her throat. A scream waited inside but refused to come out.

“Why is this happening to me?” Gotcha. She’s opened the door.

Stern face. “It’s not happening to you, Sarah. It happened to them. Or they did it to themselves. However you want to look at it. They’re gone, and nothing will change that. But you’re still here. Which means you still have something left to do in this lifetime or you would be there with them. There’s a reason for that. Your job is to find it. Ask them to help you, talk to them and no, you won’t hear them, before you ask. But ask them even so.”

“You gotta be open to where they point you. See signs, get feelings. It takes a long time to tune yourself into those on the other side, but you can start now. Find out what you came to life for and do it. Whether that be pursue your dreams, run for governor, or open a bar. I can’t tell and that’s not what I’m here for. But find it, dearheart. Then hit it like a freight train.” Oops. Don’t notice that.

The tears stopped. A look of resignation then a frown with strength behind it. He thinks he’s won. Good. Regardless of the path I have her where she needs to be.

In a hoarse whisper, “I’m going to find the motherfucker that sold poison to the people I love.”

Shit. The worst part of these things is you don’t know whether you got it right or not and nobody tells you. Just have to go on faith here.

“That’s one way to take it I guess, but are you ready for that? You’re talking about a quest to find what I would consider dangerous people. Maybe you could point them in the right direction and let the cops do that kind of heavy lifting?”

“The cops won’t give a shit about a couple of dead, strung out kids. I’m going to find him. I don’t know what I’ll do after that, but I will find him.”

A deep sigh. Well, at least you have her thinking thoughts reserved for the living. Grandma will be pissed. I’m not sure, but I think I scored here.

As the subway stopped, he got up and turned to the door.

“You’re just going to leave? That’s it?”

“My task here is done, I think. Let it hurt. Let the tears come out. In time the pain will become lighter. Stay strong, baby girl. There are a lot of people that love you dearly, even if you can’t see them, or even knew them, in this lifetime.” And he’s gone.

 I should stop and get the mail. Be a lot of bills in there but you never know. Erin is still alive and so am I. Could be there, you never need close a book if you loved the words on the pages.

An alley. Garbage. Movement, fast movement. A whisper, hollow with an echo. Not a sound from the around him. More a thought inside his thoughts. And then, urgency. Sarah! His feet quickening to a run before he realizes he’s running. One block, two. He’d gone a mile and the sweat was beading down his face when he saw the police cars. He slows down wondering why he had been drawn here but not questioning that he was drawn. Then he knows.

There. A black Sergeant. He’s got the touch, I think. He’ll listen to me.

“Hey, uh, sir. What..”

“Dead girl. All cut up. In the alley covered with garbage. Somebody called for the screaming. Caught the motherfucker after he dumped her and started running. Her dealer I guess. Alley is too crooked and the Coroner is too fat to get in there. He’ll be askin’ for us to do his job in a minute. You the press? You all the way back here to get a story?”

“No. She called me.”

A frown. Slowly.  “Didn’t find a cel on her.”

“Sarah.” His voice starting to crack. “She called me. She wanted me to come take her out of there.”

Maybe it was the look on his face or maybe the others are whispering to this cop or maybe he just understood. The sergeant steps aside. He looks almost like he feels something.

“Go get her.” A whisper.” She’s just a little girl. Wrong for her to be one more minute in there.”

You get to meet a lot of people, doing this stuff. Some briefly and others you keep a feeling for. The feeling reaches his eyes as he lifts her. Turning sideways he shuffles out of the alley. There’s a gurney ready and nobody questions as this stranger lays her on it, moves her hair out of her eyes.

“Good bye baby girl. I’ll see you someday and maybe you can tell me what else I could have done.”

@victoria-writes-sometimes

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