#also im fat and people make me mad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gayestcowboy · 7 months

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hey this may be a weird question so feel free to never answer but how did you go about gaining weight? you're so happy with it and i think it may be for me too but i wouldn't know the first step towards that happiness so,,

i’m gonna be so honest it just happened naturally when i went on testosterone. i didn’t drastically change my diet or exercise, if anything i ended up getting more exercise from walking all over my campus (i started t before i started college), and i definitely need to eat more than i used to, but nothing drastic. it’s just how my body reacted to having more testosterone. i didn’t expect it at all going into it, although i’m very glad it happened, but some people lose weight on hrt and some people dont have a weight change ag all, it just depends on the person. since i did literally nothing to gain weight other than hrt, and obviously i have no idea whether hrt is something you even remotely want to do, and hrt isn’t even a guarantee your weight will change at all, i cant do much other than share my own experience 😭 but i wish you luck in whatever you end up doing, and i hope you enjoy your body!

and this might be a weird answer, but if you feel comfortable, you could always try poking around in a weight gain fetish community somewhere online. it’s not really something i’m into so i can’t say whether or not anything will come from it, but i know it exists and it’s a group of people who know how to gain weight, and i’m sure some of them post about how they do it. i won’t give out any more medical advice on tumblr, and i hesitate to ask if anyone else has any advice, but i’m sure the very best thing you could do is talk to a medical professional about it, and just make sure to take good care of your body no matter how much you weigh. weight and health will never measure your worth as a person, but you should always try and take care of your body as best you can. and eat your veggies 👍

#inbox #anon #just make sure your body is healthy and you can do whatever with it #i just let my body do what it wanted to do and i’m still perfectly healthy #but please do make sure you’re taking care of your body because it’s not fun to have any sort of chronic physical health issues no matter #what the source is #go walk around a lot it’s really good exercise and very easy to do if you’re physically able and have a space to walk in #also im not a doctor don’t listen to everything i say im just some guy. fyi #i really truly do wish we couoh completely get rid of the stigma that fat=unhealthy forever and ever #i am just as healthy if not more healthy 50+lb heavier than i was before i went on t #sorry for the ramble lol again i cant do much other than share my own experience #also i do really want to stress that unhealthy fat people will always exist and still deserve love and respect and society treats them badly #and i bring this up because i’ve seen a lot of ppl who correctly argue that fat people can be just as healthy still look upon unhealthy fat #people with scorn #and that shit makes me so mad #sorry for the tangent but i think it’s important #i love you fat people

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autosadist · 2 years

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really wish i could be seen as a man by the world without having to take hormones or get top surgery or have a penis

#i mean ive wanted a penis i just like...phalloplasty wont cut it #im really more mad that i feel like my vagina silently disqualified me even when i was a binary trans guy or w/e #i go into these spaces with gay cis men where every single accepted body type is unattainable for me - even fat ones #and when cis guys in general tried to be inclusive or whatever with me itd be like...yeah youre a man but cock is the default #feeling like an afterthought and somewhere between invisible and not good enough #vent #personal #etc #also please fuck off with all of the nice queer affirmations for once okay. i know that having breasts etc doesnt make me any less like #a guy when its time for that?#but so many people talk big and act like theyre down and then #idk most people will never treat me like they truly believe im a guy lol #even the way i type makes men in games go 'you sound like a female'#i just want to be seen as just as man as anyone else and be treated accordingly #idk just rambles :S

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bluefuecoco · 1 year

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ABSOLUTELY VALID, it's so fucked and I don't get it. like do thin people really have such an appearance-focused mindset that they think the best way to "compliment" someone is to say some shit like "Omg you look so soft/like you'd be great at cuddles/beautiful no matter what anyone says" like jesus christ we get it ur trying to be a fat ally, try to not comment on our bodies for once

#ESPECIALLY TO STRANGERS!!!!!!!!!#ive never heard a fat person make weird comments on thin bodies #im gonna start doing it back at people #omg you look like you'd be *great* at being used as firewood #of *course* i'd fuck a thin person they have a lot to love too even without the fat!#*i'm being fasicious and if a thin person gets mad i'll bite you #also sorry i'm replying like this its easier since this is a sideblog #but if u want me to take them down lmk

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faineant-girl · 1 year

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yeah anyways i dont think fuckers who dont bother with fashion shouldnt have any fucking words to say about unique fashion or boundary pushing with fashion but especially when its on fat people because theyre not fucking slick!!!!!!!

#.vent #im really mad about this #watched a short where a gal used jeans as a shaul. it was cute ill say ya know.#it was an outfit based on a runway look ya know #nearly every single fuckin comment was some shit like girl be serious this has to be satire #or fucking. erm i dont care that shes fat this outfit is ugly though i cant say that without being called fatphobic though lol!!!!#SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP. NOBODY FUCKING ASKED YOU IDIOT #also the amount of people saying just the cruelest shit in her comments. genuinely devistat8ng kinda makes me wanna fucking hurt myself #so if you give unnecessary criticism to only fat girls in fashion your souls are cold your hearts weak and you will go to hell when you die #god i hate. having to see thoughts and words from other people. it really makes me confident to see that people will be mean to fat girls #<- sarcasm. if you coukd not tell #whatever. fuck it man.

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cutecipher · 1 month

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There are two criticisms I see of Ricky's blog and so criticisms of me. These are: he's too fat and there are too many donation posts.

The he's too fat crowd primarily exist because a transmisogynist made a callout post accusing me of animal abuse because Ricky looks larger then an imagined average cat. Firstly this accusation is not actually based on that assumption, it is based on transmisogyny and using the alleged animal abuse to run cover for that. Secondly I do take pictures at angles that make him look larger/stranger. Third, even if you still believe he's too big he goes to the vet regularly and they say he's healthy, about three years ago we cut back his food a bit because the vet said he could lose a bit of weight but this was not a directive but a suggestion, regardless we did it, though he hasnt really lost much weight. Fourth, I have a vet appointment scheduled asap due to an actual health issue, my wife will ask them again if there is an issue with his weight: I will not provide any documentation about this because we are already often targetted for harassment I am not letting people know where we live.

The too many donation posts crowd is largely operating off the same callout post but regardless I will address this. I am a very poor and isolated trans woman so I feel deeply for others that need help, any platform I have I will try and help people and if you dont like it then tough, things are hard right now.

Also I know people say this behind my back but heres me addressing it directly: if you harass me you dont get to get mad when I respond on the blog youre harassing me on.

Lastly, if youre going to harass someone about Ricky it should be me, harassing people Im trying to help is lower then low and you should be very ashamed of yourself if you do that.

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c4n1d43cup1d · 3 months

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Some hogcanons. notes (me rambling) under the cut

So silver was the reason i wanted to make this in the first place despite him looking the most on model (not entirely obviously, but i don't have many hcs for him). Mostly i wanted to draw his height compared to the other hedgehogs since him being freakishly tall despite being younger than sonic and shadow is funny. I saw someone say hes probably the most conventionally attractive hedgehog and i think that's true, hes a pretty boy and his fur/quills are really sleek and well maintained. The fluff on his chest is less spikey and more fluffy looking plus i put some fluff in his ears as well. I think his paws and nails are black and he doesn't wear eyeliner his lashes are just really long and hes got black markings on his eyes. Coming back to this after writing Amy's desc but i think hes genderqueer in some way idk maybe bigender i need to study him under a microscope some more every character i touch becomes transgender

Sonic has a few more added details, i like giving him a little nick in his ear and top surgery scars because that hog is trans. I haven't really seen many people give him stylized top surgery scars surprisingly, i tried to make his look kind of lightning bolty because uh something about him being fast. idk man. i think i imagined its similar to what itd look like for him to run in a zigzag? whatever i think it looks cool. I think his claws are kind of uneven and he doesn't really care too much about how they look especially since he just has them under gloves most of the time

Amy is fat because i said so, also i gave her wavier quills and heart markings everywhere. Her ears might look a little strange since it like implies her skin is making that heart shape but i imagine thats her fur spiking into the point. Her nails are painted the same red that shadows markings and stuff are mostly because i think them being besties is cute like. i see shadamy as a queer platonic relationship. Theyve always been my favorites im going to to make them as close as i want. Anyway, i think she and sonic are tied for having the shortest ears, and hers are the rounest (might make them even rounder the next time i draw her) also not entirely related to her design but i think shes transfem and genderfluid.

Shadow my son. im taking custody from black doom and gerald. anyway, i have the most headcanons for him because he is my absolute favorite guy ever he rots my brain. I think he and Amy are the same height, his rocket shoes are like platform/heels and so when he has them on he looks like Sonic's height or maybe a teeny tiny bit taller. I give his quills extra little spikes for no reason other than i think its cute, i could bullshit that its a black arms thing but idrc. What are black arms things though are his eyes and claws, his scelera is a more yellow compared to everyone elses (jaundiced as my friend put it. thanks endy) and i didn't draw it but his pupils are slits. Claws are long but are even longer when all the way out (retractable) his gloves are thick enough that he doesn't pierce them but he probably has a few spare pairs. Also not pictured but black arms related: his teeth are fucking razors, larger than the other hedgehogs and also serrated because i think thats cool. his tail is the longest out of all of them though i think it used to be longer but was lopped off in the name of science and never properly grew back. also his inhibitor rings are connected to a sort of device that does the task of being a proper gateway between his internal energy and the rings themselves, i didn't draw them but essentially its like a smaller ring that is embedded into his wrists i think. also hes trans but in a sort of alien way, i think the black arms can do the clownfish genderswap thing and shadow has it to a somewhat lesser degree its like an internal tshot i guess idfk

ok yeah thats all if u made it to the end thanks for reading the ramblings of a mad man

#silver the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #fanart #art #headcanons #sth #i need to think about silver some more #id say i need to think about shadow less but hell no that boy lives rent free #actually i just realized he has the second longest ramblings #i need to give amy more love #shes my second fave but its obvious how much i like shadow more #im sorry girl 💔

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vampykween · 5 months

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cannot stop thinking about miscommunication between reader and ghost 🤭

like imagine being such a people pleaser for ghost that he gets mad at you for doing it but doesn’t tell you that he’s mad because he hates seeing you slowly wear out for him 🤭

honey <3 i could kiss ur little brain omg! the way this had me typing non-stop as soon as i got out of class!!! also this hits so hard for me because i am exactly this type of person yikes! and im sorry because i think i kinda derailed this from ur original idea, oops! hope you enjoy anyway <3

there was a nervous out growing in your stomach, something was wrong and you weren’t sure what.

simon’s usually warm demeanor towards you had been replaced by the hardness of his moniker ‘ghost’. he was acting stand offish, barely giving you anything besides one-word answers, and sigh deeply at you when you tried to pry. you suddenly felt sick to your stomach, had you not been so good to simon, perfected yourself to be the very best for him? if he didn't love you, then who ever would?

it was unbearably painful to watch you tear yourself to shreds trying to impress simon. he knew how you were, how you wanted so badly to be the best for everyone. but somehow you were never able to just be the best for yourself. over the year that simon has known you, he has watched you hallow out into the shell of the person you once were, or the person you could actually be had you not tried so hard to be his best little lap dog.

there was a war raging in his mind, how could you do this to yourself. strip yourself of the soul that made him fall in love with you, to what? be perfect for a man as defiled and beaten down by life as him.

after a dragging day of tedious paperwork and training sessions, simon was more than ready than to sink into your embrace. perhaps cuddle up and rewatch love,actually for the millionth time - a favorite of yours. but when he shed his boots by the door he was confused as you usually would trot down the stairs by now to greet him. maybe you were napping? he called out your name and when was met with resounding silence his heart began to race; had the day finally come? had his gruesome nightmares finally become his reality?

he reached the door to your shared bedroom and frantically threw open the door and his heart plummeted momentarily, until he picked up on the faint sound of your crying behind the bathroom door.

“love? are you okay?” the lights were off and when he tried the doorknob it was locked. what could’ve possibly happened in the hours he was gone to make you lock yourself away from him?

“darlin’ please just open the door, i’m worried ‘bout you,” your boyfriend pleaded sadly.

you let out a shaky huff and managed to unlock the door from where you were crouched down near the vanity. he moved towards you instantly, only able to make out the tear stains on your face and the redness of your eyes from the subtle light pouring in from the bedroom. you turn away from him, feeling unnerved by his concerning gaze.

“please…don’t look at me, just go away,” you mumbled weakly. you hated him seeing you like this: pathetic and emotional. if he gave you just a minute more alone you could compose yourself and go back to being his perfectly poised girlfriend.

“‘m not gonna leave, there’s clearly something’ goin on with you baby.”

the thickness of his accent always strengthens when he’s soft with you as if he’s reaching deep into his soul and pulling from a time when he was sweetest; a young little boy from manchester, accent think and yearning for love. you could feel your throat constricting and your eyes pooling with more fat tears, and suddenly the dam bursts and you wail into his chest.

“please- please don’t leave me, i promise i’ll be better. i’ll do anything, please i can’t-,” you’re cut off by a deep hiccup and simon grasping your face in his hands- not painfully but commanding you to look into his eyes.

“love, what- why do you think i would leave you? and be better? what are you on, what would you need to be better about?”

you stare at him with wide eyes, puzzled by his response. you had been expecting him to tell you this was it, that he was finally done with putting up with someone who would never be good enough for him.

“you’ve been so distant with me lately. i thought i wasn’t being good enough for you. that i wasn’t good enough for you. im trying so hard to be better, be different, be the best for you and i’m sorry-“

“stop, oh my god, stop it please.” the older man effectively halts your self deprecating monologue. “it hurts me, that you think you wouldn’t ever be enough for me when you’re everything i’m not even sure how i even deserve. and i’ll admit i’ve been distant, but only cause i’m frustrated at you. not because i don’t love you, but because i do and everyday i watch you carve out pieces of yourself in order to please me. and love,” he wipes at the tears steadily flowing down your cheeks and smooths down your hair. “i hate seeing you rid yourself of everything i love about you, to turn yourself into something i never asked you to be.”

you’re taken aback by your boyfriend’s response. it never occurred to you that he might just love you for who you are, that you didn’t need to change in order for him to want you around. maybe you feel this way because your past partners always ‘loved’ you best when you were the exact copy of their mothers or whatever completely unattainable standards they had. maybe you’re sat sobbing in your boyfriend’s arms because you couldn’t read his emotions well and your mother was a minefield to be around and you never knew what to anticipate. but you also know that despite your shitty past and his, you have someone looking you in the eyes and saying ‘there’s nothing i want more than you as you are’.

you wipe at your face, as if you could wipe away the pain of insurmountable self-hatred and trauma. “okay, i’m okay. so, you do still love me? because i swear simon i can do whatever you ask of me, i just can’t- i just can’t bear for you to not love me.” despite his earlier words you’re still grappling with the need to please him, to be so good he has no choice but to love you forever and to never leave you.

“my love, i loved you yesterday, today, and will love you every day for the rest of my life. i can’t let you kill yourself, just to make me happy. in fact, it doesn’t make me happy at all. i love you for who you are, and that’s not gonna change, yeah?”

you know that if you try to speak, you’ll try to fight him on this, so instead you nod your head fervently until he pulls you until a bruising kiss, that momentarily melts away all your worries.

#mic answers #simon ghost riley x reader #if there's one thing i will do is project my own insecurities onto the reader oops #you're a fucking genius for this honey gotta love you #forgive me for any errors i wrote half of this in the dutch bros line

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genderkoolaid · 6 months

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i wish i could send screenshots but i blocked everyone involved to get rhe stupid post off my dash but i saw a post that was like "hey its ok for trans women to just look like men" and then in the comments was some transandrophobe being like "yeah trans men get such a pass to look however they want even if they cant be bothered to bind ppl treat them like men all the time but trans women will get killed if we arent dressed to the nines" and someone was like hey this is wrong? and then even when OP finally stepped into say it was wrong for the one commenter to put down trans men she STILL SAID that the trans guy defending himself in the comments was in the wrong for "making it about trans men" when he was literally just trying to defend us. it made me so mad. "cant be bothered to bind" has been like a ping pong ball stuck in my head all night because of that post. cant be fucking bothered to bind like im just being too lazy abt it and not like fat or disabled or too poor to afford a quality binder lmao cant be bothered. good fucking grief.

Yeah jfc

Again like I have no doubt a lot of times this comes from real frustration and hurt but like good God. these people really have so much ingrained hatred for trans men they refuse to recognize. like not only is "can't be bothered to bind" so fucking insensitive. but also the idea that trans men who look like cis women are treated like cis men????

like not saying said person is aligned with baeddel beliefs but i was checking out @baeddel-txt a day ago and it just reminds me of how folks who follow that ideology truly concocted this fantasy world where cis society kisses the ground trans men walk on and trans men are "male classed" by virtue of identifying as men. like so extremely dissociated from the lived experiences of non passing trans men. people will jump through every hoop in the circus to avoid saying that trans men just might experience misogyny on occasion

#m.#ask box #examples of transandrophobia

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lucy4-ever · 10 months

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nsfw headcanons about bill kaulitz

!all NSFW!

first i'd like to say that, because he has a twin brother so comfortable with the topic, we think bill's the innocent brother

WRONG

pretty sure he's as hrny as tom is

maybe a bit less

but i think he'd rather have long, loving, caring sx (unlike tom)

plus, we know he's not really into hookups

(i dont remember who wrote it, but it wasnt my own idea!) that he feels guilty to just have sx for 1 night and forget it all

so he's really invested in aftercare and communicating during the act (green flag)

he praises all the time

he's definetly a soft dom and a sub

when he's drunk or high, he slightly changes though

but no matter the situation, he always asks if it's okay

he wouldnt accept to have sxual intercourses with you if he's sober and you're drunk/ high, it'll feel like he's taking advantage of you

however if you're being flirty, touchy and everything, he might just drink a bit so it wouldnt feel too weird (knowing you gave your consent a 1000 times and that you just want him, and that you trust him and that youre horny)

when he's not convinced by your actual desire to fck, he doesn't accept and just takes care of you 😊

however, when the both of you are drunk/ high, it's another level of pleasure

DRUNK/ HIGH SX WITH BILL 🔛🔝

"just like that, yeah, baby"

"do i slow down, my liebe?"

"please, stop teasing me my love"

"youre so pretty, my beloved"

"are you alright my love?"

"keep doing this, yeah, youre making me feel so good sweetheart"

"my sweet girl, my sweet sweet girl, youre being so nice to me"

"are you sure, you're okay?"

"my darling, you feel so good, youre gonna make me cm so fast"

"does this feels good? let me know how you feel, my dirty girl"

"yeah, take it all in for me, my lovely dirty little slut"

"is this too rough?"

"fuck me very well, baby, the same way i'd fck you sweet thing"

"i think im cmming my dear, can i? can i my love?"

"is this okay?"

if he wants to try something new, something which he'd never done with you and that's completly different from usual, he'll ask and make sure you dont just wanna please him

if you agree, he may be rougher and degrading you

but he'd never do it by himself, without asking you first

i think it depends on what do YOU want, he's really listening to your desires and compromises with his own

yet, he always prioritize your pleasure to his

now, let's get more concreet

there will never be a sxual intercourse without you having an orgsm

it's fundammentaly impossible with bill

even on his birthday when he's supposed to be the one to receive all the pleasure , he'll ask to go down on you

that's just the way it is

hates and loves being edged

however, if you edge him too much, when he'll be fcking you, he won't go easy on you

he edges you too, by kissing and sucking everywhere on your body but your pssy

he's open for every kind of sx

you can ask him about anything and he'll probably say yes to make you happy

AS LONG AS IT'S NOT DISTURBING THINGS

but i believe y'all arent mad enough :D

loves you being on top

loves sitting position

loves position where he sees your face and can kiss you

loves when you want to be the giver

secretly loves when you act bratty with him

but also loves when you're being a pleaser

chest turn him on so badly 🗣

(not in a weird way) but always stares at your chest and loves when you dress in tight clothes

randomly stares at you and you're wondering what he's thinking about when the only thing on his mind is what happened last night, how good you looked and how you're gonna look this night

has a sx playlist with "apocalypse" by Cigarettes After Sx and "do you wanna fuck" by Byz on it

MOANS, WHIMPERS, CRIES

he doesnt give a flying fuck about belly fat, love handles, thick thighs and arms as well as small chest, thin bodies, "weird looking" pssies, body hair and couldnt care less honestly

he loves people for who they are, not for their genders, looks, body, money, belongings..

i secretly think he has a thing for bigger girlies 😉

he lives for thick ladies 😽

author's note : tadaaa!! i'll probably make a part 2 and one for tom, please can you guys give me ideas on what you'd like me to write please 😫

love yaaaa!! 💕

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz headcanons #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz bf material #headcanon #smut

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ludinusdaleth · 2 months

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hi y'all, it's officially been 1 year since i started T!

it's been a wild, wild year and, tumblr willing, im gonna share some progress photos.

here's a pic i took right after my first injection vs now. i think the most noticeable yet subtle sign of my transition might be just getting broader & thicker in every aspect and you can tell that down to my face shape & nose & neck.

sideburns, pre t vs now. this in particular makes me so, so happy. and im getting curly beard hairs which means.... i may have a curly beard?? well my mom wins the hair lottery in one way i guess, lol

when i first started noticing chin hairs (i think 2 or 3 months into t?) vs now - kind of have billy goat scruff going on as my body needs to create a neckbeard before a full beard, i guess, but im honestly happy about it. all ive ever wanted was facial hair. and i hope it grows into a massive bushy affair one day. i also definitely have a double chin now and it's honestly very cute & handsome to me.

my happy trail area (and i guess my belly hang, lol), pre t vs now

and some more general body pics (warning, slight but censored ns/fw), pre t vs me now. these..... stun me. not only does the first pic show obvious masculinization of the face but more than that - im bearing up! gaining about 50 to 60 lbs? one of the best things that ever happened to me, and i have t to thank. going from being malnourished for a multitude of reasons to the point it hurt to breathe, vs now being a "big chonker" to my friends. going from being terrified of any sign of being feminine in any way, to practically worshipping my moobs (also hella furry now - but im not posting that here) & learning to accept my hips. feeling like i am not a ghost who cant be touched but a person, maybe a bear today or one day, literally built with fat & muscle to aid & comfort those i care for.

thanks to everyone who has treated me kindly & been accepting over my progress - especially in wishing with all my heart to be a bear. a few years ago i accepted transition as something impossible in texas, and resigned myself to misery with jeers & looks my way, & death threats & isolation. and now.... it feels so opposite. i grin at conservatives looking at me in anger because i know they can be as mad as they want but im still me, and i have a support system, people who treat me so kindly it's made me realize how much goodness really is possible. i used to feel more wraith than alive. now i feel like a wolf with his pack, a fae in his domain. life is a clusterfuck but something ive learned the past while is you must seek the good in it. you must.

and i did.

#van speaks #operation bearification #long post #the bear agenda #twink to bear

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ottiliere · 6 months

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hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

#ask #I'm not afraid to admit that my fondness for dio is entirely contingent on things I made up about him in my head over the years.#there's a draft here filled with thousands of words about him that I started writing up in response to some ask I got earlier this year #but I never finished it... :( and I also never posted the dozens and dozens of pictures I frenetically drew of him either. maybe someday #on another note: I did my yearly reread of johnny the other month. I'll do something big with him one day but this year is not the year #similarly sasha answers in the queue. I'm glad you enjoyed psychonauts it's one of the greatest games ever visually and re: gameplay. etc #lucy art

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bloodsbane · 3 months

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that comic is making me think about it. but i recently had to unfollow someone I'd followed... idk, so long ago i cant remember when. but i had to drop them because they were someone who had, evidently, developed a degree of internalized fatphobia so intense, it got to the point where they were referring to the "body positivity movement" as a cult and at one point compared being okay with being fat to being okay with letting yourself stay addicted to something like cigarettes or alcohol (seriously what the FUCK), in that it is inherently damaging to your body but your choice to continue to hurt yourself.. by being..... fat

i felt so disgusted seeing a post like that... it's been on my mind for weeks even after i immediately unfollowed them. i cant imagine suffering the bullshit that comes with being fat and then turning around to hurt other fat people with similar rhetoric

uhg i could complain more and get into it but i won't, im already too mad lol, and i do really need to eat breakfast, but i guess i just think it shouldn't be anyone's business either way. you just cant allow yourself to pass judgement on others based on their bodies. yes even if you are/were also fat but now you're """doing better""" and think you're now in a position to tell other fat people "better" like uhg. go eat shit honestly

#banebabbles

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mogai-sunflowers · 2 years

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body standards in the queer community are so fucking harmful. the amount of fucking breakdowns i’ve had because i knew i’d never be able to fit into the perfect butch fashion idea. god. it’s exhausting and nothing makes it better. fat queer people, qpoc, disabled queer people, this shit affects so many queers in different ways and it’s so hurtful i want to cry rn. im not even mad im just sad that the world is like this. i deserve to love my body but i dont and the biggest reason is because i dont fit into queer narratives. it sucks. but i will still do my fuckin damndest to uplift others who are struggling with the same thing. it breaks my heart, watching other queer people talk about this. sure, it’s good to know im not alone but i also dont want anyone to ever have to go through that but i know thats not realistic. yall are all beautiful NO MATTER WHAT. your skin is your skin, your body is your body, your hair is your hair- it’s all okay. especially if you’re trans and this kind of stuff hurts cuz dysphoria. it’s so important to recognize that transition goals dont have to be an ideal, they can be realistic to you. im not asking anyone to feel guilty im just asking that you realize that something needs to be done because this is killing people. just love all queers no matter our bodies or physical characteristics, we all deserve the happiness that other queers deserve. i love y’all so much if you ever need anything or need to rant or want some validation please know you can come to me.

#🌌when the stars align ; reigns rambles🌌#rant #vent #personal #ask to tag #like my anorexia is literally 90% beause i want to be able to be skinny so i can be the cute skinny butch everyone idealizes in queer spaces

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zack-hazbin-blog · 2 months

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Okay so sorry for not posting anything for days but erm…. Heres the vees!! And cherri, mimzy, and baxter because why not

Vox:

He is very similar to canon I think, so I will use this chance to talk about the differences between my versions of overlords and canon overlords. So in canon overlords are like, people who own a lot of souls but like. They cant do that in my head, like, a sinner cannot own another sinners soul, they dont have that power over eachother. So in this an overlord is someone who is able to keep full control over a certain amount of territory, and there are loads of overlords, Pandemonium (Pentagram City, Pandemonium is the name of the capital of hell in paradise lost so im stealing it lol) is a big place and theres a lot of room, however, there are different levels of overlords. Like, theres the big group that own whole regions of the city (including Rosie, the Vees, Zeezi, Carmilla, Zestial, ect.) but then they have a lot of people under them who own smaller chunks of land. I think that its a system of blocks, like small time overlords own a system of blocks and big time overlords deal in groups of 6 blocks called bolgias (term borrowed from Dante’s Inferno). The Big Big Players own thousands of bolgias, with the Vees having the most land and owning much of the West side of the inner part of the city.

Vox is the original Vee, he was a TV host/budding actor who died in the early 50s, and he has a very messy history with Al. The two were actually pretty good friends till like, the mid sixties, until Vox, under the impression that there was a mutual romantic connection, tried to like, advance the relationship. Alastor, being aroace, wasn’t interested, and being really stupid, panicked and like ghosted Vox for years afterwards. Vox kinda took this as “he thinks hes to good for me” and got like really mad about it. Valentino was like his rebound relationship, they partnered up shortly after Val died in the 70s and started climbing the ranks pretty quickly. While Val and Angel were together for a while, Vox and Val were always very much romantically involved. Vox, as much as he acts differently, really is just after domesticity. He wants to live in a sitcom, he wants nice, soft, things. He just gets in his own way because A) he keeps going after the worst people you will ever meet and; B) also kind of sucks, like, hes a tempermental jerk. He almost had something genuine with Al and this is one of the main reasons hes still hung up on it?? If that makes sense, like,,,, Alastor held the door open for him one (1) time 60 years ago and it still keeps him up at night, he is so emotionally desperate its like, sad.

I saw in the like,,, leaked audition character card things that were floating around that he was a cult leader in life??? I dont like that at all lol, hes just, he was a TV personality who did some shady things. I think his sin would be Envy/Greed and I think he probably killed his co-star/probably some other people and I think he got away with it. Like, I do not think he was ever caught, probably died in an altercation with one of his partners that he genuinely does not remember (raging alcoholic later in life) and was never posthumously convicted of anything (though he probably featured on a Buzzfeed Unsolved ep at some point.) Also he has a pet land shark named Vark. I dont care that its stupid I love Vark we are keeping Vark, Vark is like a golden retriever except he is a six foot long giant shark. Vox would do anything for him and Vark has had at least one playdate with Fat Nuggets the pig while Angel was living in the Vee tower.

Valentino:

I really dont like the direction they took for Val in canon, I dont like how dumb he is sorry. I get why they did it I just. Ugh. Hes different here, hes in hell for exactly what you think, and he is Vox’s horrible business partner/on-again-off-again boyfriend. He is a lot less temperamental than Vox, I think hes very manipulative, he a lot of the time serves as the mediator of the trio, awful as that is. This isnt to say he isnt mean, hes very mean, hes just calculated about it. He legitimately does not do a lot for the company, like he runs some things but he isnt involved with a WHOLE lot besides managing the other two, if he were kicked out the only thing that would suffer would be Vox’s general mental state because for whatever reason he is head over heels for this guy.

Hes Angels absolutely awful ex and the only reason he dedicates any thought to the hotel is because hes mad at Angel for dumping him, he is full of violent intent but also smart enough to know that trying to do something to the daughter of lucifer’s hotel is a bad idea. Hes waiting it out till Angel gets sick of it there

I dont. Have an image of him. I have drawn him but have no way of transfering the drawing to my computer right now but I have changed him from a moth to a Honeypot Ant because I dont want two hispanic moths. The honeypot bit is like full of pink goo if that makes any kind of sense, he has pink goo butt and pink smoke pheromone stuff and a furry little jacket. I hate him.

Velvette Redde:

OHHOOHOHHGG SHES A DOOZY. I accidentally got really insane over velvette so um. Bear with me here. Velvette is by far the youngest of the Big Overlords, having only died in 2010, the second youngest being Zeezi (they died in the early 90s) (they’re the big rave dinosaur from the Carmilla episode we’ll get to them later) Velvette is not nearly as powerful as the other power players because she has not had nearly as much time to really cultivate her powers, shes only ascended through the ranks so fast because Vox and Val saw her carving out a niche among the smaller overlords in their territory and scooped her up and brought her into the team (they needed someone business minded, theyre both performers really, shes young, shes already pretty capable, her name starts with V, it was perfect) Besides being the other two’s business manager, she is a fashion designer, the social media demon thing was stupid okay. Shes the social media overlord in the same sense as grandparents who regard their grandkid who knows how to reset the router as a tech wiz. She is a prominent fashion designer in Pandemonium and also non-profesionally dabbles in baking, tribute to JTL, worst fanon of all time (affectionate)

As a result of being the youngest overlord, and just. Her personality in general, she feels like she has a lot to prove. Shes very snippy and harsh, her and Vox get into a lot of scraps. She cannot stand Val, she cannot stand him but like. Needs him in her mind, he and Vox made her, she needs them to stay on top, at least until shes a little bit stronger, and not staying on top is not an option so shes playing nice for now. Her and Vox are surprisingly buddy-buddy, shes a considerable bit younger than both of them (shes mid 20s and theyre both mid-30s, around the same as Al) but her and Vox get along pretty good when they arent petty squabbling. Shes a cat person but tolerates (adores) Vark the Shark. She is a workaholic, if Vox and Val are the couple meme thing with the fancy fluffy robe and the ebeneezer scrooge nightgown she is a secreet third option thats just her clothes.

I will eventually make playlists for a lot of these characters but like, combine Oh No! and Are You Satisfied? by Marina and The Diamonds with Icicles by the Scary Jokes and youve got a good start to Velvette. ALSO,,,, Im making her x Cherri Bomb canon in this. They will eventually get their own post but I am so obsessed with them its INSANE. Also yes she did choose that name post mortem, yes it is a pun on red velvet cake, no she does not regret it.

Cherri Bomb:

LOOK OUT WORLD SHES A WILD GIRL SHES A CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CHERRY BOOOMMBB!! Angel’s aussie bestie who died in the 80s in a riot she insited. Shes like. You know how people draw human rainbow dash dressing like Adam Sandler? Shes like that but punk version. Shes so butch shes so goofy she draws her eyeliner on in sharpie and has had the same jacket since she landed down here, she would kill and die for Angel in a heartbeat but refuses to have a conversation about (gag) feelings…

She is an anti-authoritarian with a pyromaniac streak who has absolutely no problem letting Angel stay at the princess’s hotel to eat up her resources but like. Starts to feel a little bit weird about it when he starts to seem like he actually likes it there. And its totally not because shes insecure about how much happier he seems with them than he seemed with her. Its totally not because she is riddled with enough abandonment issues to choke a horse, no definitely not. She just doesnt like that hes falling victim to the man!!! Cue Someone Gets Hurt (reprise) type of scene between her and Angel and Angel temporarily leaving the hotel but them making up and her not being actively against the hotel so long as its helping Angel over the course of a couple episode arc in a hypothetical mid-season-one conflict!

After this she would probably just. Hang around the hotel without actually staying there, shes there for Angel reasons but I think she’d become pretty friendly with the others after a bit. Her and Mimzy are friends I think, and as much as she insists on having a grudge against Charlie shes alright with Vallie (“Punks and goths run in the same circles, we gotta have eachothers backs! Even if ya are a stick in the mud.” “...okay..?”) ALSO HER AND VELVETTTEEEEE their shipname is CherryCupcake and i will NEVER be over it okay. Also Cherri has not kept up with like, any modern trends besides music, she is a big music buff and is one of the few people who says they like all music and means it. Shes so cool i love her soooooooooo muchhhh okay.

Mimzy:

I dont have a drawing of her yet but Im turning her into a cocker spaniel partially because I think she really likes dogs and this is a cutsey dog that was big in the 20s and partially because i think its funny with Alastors dog-phobia. Her and Alastor are childhood friends in this, she moved from New York to New Orleans when she was like eight and did that thing where an extrovert just like, adopts an introvert with Al (he was kind of regarded as the weird kid when he was little, very shy had not grown into the larger-than-life-annyoing-on-purpose persona yet) and they were friends forever after yayyyyyy. She moved back to New York when they were teens to try and get back on the broadway scene but came back for a little while after Alastor’s radio show started to get big (they were both in their early 20s, it was like 1922 and Al’s mom hadnt died yet, he wasnt on the murder train quuuiiiittee yet she wasnt around for that). She had a very short lived crush at this time, told im about it, he rejected (obviously) and they didnt really. Talk. after she moved back to New York. This was mostly imposed by Alastor who started deliberately ignoring her calls and letters in the desperate hope to avoid any sort of awkward conversation.

She is kind of meant to be a parallel to Vox to help showcase what a disaster Alastor is socially except Mimzy is like. Not at all upset about the initial rejection, shes mad that he ghosted her for the remainder of her life (she died in the late 20s, a few years before Al) and the two dont really. Talk. in hell. No efforts have been made to fix things because shes waiting for him to do it which he will never do, he doesnt even know what shes upset about, he thinks that the issue arose out of unrequited romance. Hes stupid. So they had not talked in YEARS at the start of the show, and then she shows up at the hotel. She didnt show up at the hotel for Alastor but like. Shes aware that he is there. Its a situation. They fight and they dont make up persay because this is season one and Alastor is still this unshakeable presence, while this would be the first time in this hypothetical show that we see him waver he is still very solid, there is no apology, but at least the issue is in the open air now. Occasional petty fighting and even more occasional moments of fondness reminicent of what there once was ensues.

Mimzy is a big fan of Niffty and Angel, and she is genuinely invested in the idea of redemption, she wants to be better, she regrets everything that landed her in Hell (getting involved with the wrong crowd to off some of her competition, her sin is greed, she was later offed by said wrong crowd because she was going to spill to the police) Probably not a super major character tho, just because. Shes in a lot of episodes she just doesnt get a lot of focus, love her its just. Every character cant be a main character and the cast is already bloated. Its very much the same for Baxter and Crymini.

Baxter:

Funny fish guy!!! 1910s scientist in hell for medical malpractice. He is trans (so is husk) and he probably did his own top surgery, I hate him (affectionate.) If you have ever played bugsnax like. Think Floofty Fizzlebean and youve got it. He has set up lab in the hotel’s basement which is also the laundry room which is how he becomes acquainted with Niffty in the first place. He is very. Antisocial, he doesnt exactly hate everyone people just scare him, he avoids them when he can, he and Niffty do genuinely become quite close, with her acting as an impromptu lab assistant on occasion. There is also shipping. Hello four people in the BaxNiff community. Im not gonna get crazy into shipping here but theyre cute they are When He Sees Me from Waitress (Niffty POV) they are Inarticulation by Rio Romeo (Baxter POV) and I love them, there is not a lot to say on Baxter hes just silly guy who would say My God! As he stares in horror and fascination at the monstrosity he has created he would say Eureka and I love him for it. Victor Frankenstien wannabe.

And thats that, I think that the Heaven Gang will be next. Im very excited to talk about Adam and Lute because they are. Very Different than in canon. Adam got hit with the divorced dad beam and Lute is nonbinary now… Eve is there too shes awesome. You’ll see

#sorry for lack of art this go round #will be updated as it becomes available #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin redesign #hazbin rewrite #hazbin velvette #hazbin vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin mimzy #hazbin baxter

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simplylupin · 2 years

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the fruity four as things my friends have said

eddie: is a back or neck more attractive i need to know everyone’s opinions

GUYS

THIS IS IMPORTANT CMON

robin: neck.

eddie: wtf neck???

back is superior

steve: mate a back is a back y’know?

actually idk

nancy: neither are particularly attractive

steve: i feel like necks if they’re a bit “odd” it’s more insignificant than backs

cause when a backing is backing...

damn

robin: backing 😭

eddie: no i get exactly what you mean

nancy: what the fuck

steve: orgasms or music

eddie: music

steve: priorities

eddie: good music is an orgasm

robin: i just choked

nancy: oh-

are you...

okay??

robin: i am now

but like i wasn’t

~ robin: i don’t understand how there has been 360000+ births today

like that doesn’t compute in my brain

how do 360000+ people have the same birthday ugh i hate that

robin: u had a fucking dream about me getting mauled by an alligator-

and stood by with no emotion-

eddie: it was a dream?? i can’t control it 🤨🤨🤨

robin: yeah but it feels personal that u and steve lived but i got chomped

also steve wtf??

why didn’t u jump in and save me?!

steve: eddies dream!!! he’s the mean one

nancy: i had a dream where eddie killed us all

robin: realistic

~ eddie: would smash

would show u my neck

robin: 😭😭

eddie: lol ofc robin shows up as soon as i mention necks

robin: stfu

eddie: no???

~ robin: vapes are extremely unattractive

like ew

nancy: especially elf bars

if you’re going to vape at least be eco friendly

robin: “i don’t like when everything is grey”

“is that racist to grey people?” - steve

steve: i was talking about vampires.

robin i hate you

~ eddie: steve 🤤🥵🥵🥵🥵

nancy: .....

robin: what.

eddie: he’s doing the thirst trap pose rn

arm out holding himself up

🤤🤤🤤🥵🥵🥵

steve: eddie.

eddie: what daddy? 🤤🤤

SORRY ABABHABA

i am so sorry

~ eddie: it’s the full moon tonight don’t wanna make daddy werewolf mad

sorry that was

robin: BHAHAHAHAHA I HAD TO TAKE A MOMENT THERE

nancy: eddie u need to touch some proper christian grass-

steve: i am

horrified

eddie: IM FUCIGNJRNG

GUYS

THERES A FAT SPIDER

RIGHT BY MY BED

IM NOT EVEN KIDDING

nancy: get wayne 😭

robin: photographic evidence or ur lying

*photographic evidence*

robin: EW WTF NO ITS ONE OF THE WEIRD ONES WITH UNNECESSARY LONG LEGS

eddie: I just panicked so hard

woke up steve and he got it 😍😍😍

i can’t fall asleep now wtf

I CAN FEEL IT EVERYWHERE

robin: i hate honeymoons

eddie: same

robin: just happy couples boning 24/7

eddie: it’s just an excuse for rich people to splash out and have sex in public places

~ nancy: GUYS WTF MY MUM IS ON MY FYP 😭😭😭😭

robin: WHATSBSBAH

steve: what

nancy: APPARENTLY MIKE HAS A TIKTOK???

steve: WHAT

nancy: wtf why does mike have better legs than me

eddie: HELP THIS IS SO FUNNY HIS ACCOUNT IS GOLD

robin: how many followers does he have?

nancy: 65 lmaooooo

eddie: 66 now 😍

nancy: EDDIE NO

UNFOLLOW HIM

HE’LL HATE ME FOREVER

eddie: no

steve: i’m just trying to eat my fruit in peace 💔

eddie: oh

what fruit might that be ;))))))

steve: oh my lord

#steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #yes these are all real conversations #steddie #ronance #i love being queer baited #steddie headcanon #ronance headcanon #stranger things #the fruity four

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