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#also i've read many headcanons that billy's mom was this loving mother who would accept billy
joanna-olson · 3 years
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So, I've wanted to write this fic for ages, but I've had this massive case of writers block, so I'll just throw this headcanon out there.
We all know that Billy's mom left him with Neil, because she too was abused. And Billy hasn't had any contact with her ever since, probably because Neil prevented any form of contact. Billy is not bitter that his mom left, on the contrary, he understands why she did. As he's getting older and more often than not becomes the target of Neils rage, he dreams up a world where his mom comes to his rescue and love him unconditionally, as a mother should. Of course that never happens, but Billy still has this idolized image of his mom.
Fast forward to when Billy is in his early twenties. He is living in Chicago with Steve, they both have worked on their shit and they are happy with the live they've built together. One day a letter arrives from someone Billy doesn't recognize immediately. When he reads it he is thrown into a spiral of shock, surprise, happyness and uncertainty. It's from his mom. After all these years she's found him and wants to reconnect. She explains that she struggled financially and with her mental health after she left, that Neil prevented her from contacting him and that she didn't know how to find him again once she figured her live out.
Billy spirals emotionally. This is what he's been waiting for for years, but now that it happened, he doesn't know how to handle it. With some encouragement from Steve he writes back. They write back and forth and start talking on the phone. Billy learns that his mom lives in a small town in Texas now and that she's married to a widowed pastor now. She tells him about her five stepchildren and that she doesn't have anymore children of her own. Billy tells her a bit about Hawkins (the bits he can) and his live in Chicago. He doesn't mention Steve.
After a a few months of phone calls and letters, his mom flies to Chicago, so they can finally meet in person again. Billy is nervous as hell. He can't sit still on the days leading up to the meeting and smokes more than he usually does. They meet at a small coffeeshop in town and after an awkward moment his mom pulls him into a long and tight hug and Billy relaxes. They talk a lot and spend the day walking around town. Billy is happy and feels all warm and loved. His dream came true, his mother is back in his live and she's showering him with love.
They have dinner at a small and cozy pizza place. Over dessert his mom smiles at him and asks the question Billy has been nervous to answer. "So, tell me, Billy, is there a special Lady in your live?" And Billy is silent for a moment. He knows that attitudes towards gay people aren't to favorably and Steve and him usually don't really talk about their relationship unless they are among friends. But this is his mom who's smiling at him warmly from across the table. His mom, who he remembers to be a bit of a free spirit from when he was a child. His mom, who is the polar opposite of Neil, so surely she will understand. So he tells her. "Actually there is someone. His name is Steve." He holds his breath as he watches her reaction. He doesn't really expect what happens next. The smile falls from her face and her expression freezes for a moment. After a few heartbeats she tries to smile again, but it looks pained. She says "Oh, really?" and tries to change the subject. But they don't get back into the easy conversation. It's as if the mention of Steve's name and the reality of their relationship hangs like a shadow between them. His mom asks some awkward queations Billy is pretty sure she doesn't want to hear the answer to. Soon after she tells him that it was already late and she was tired.
So they pay and she's saying a hasty goodbye and leaves. No hug, no warm smile. Billy is shattered. The walk home is the longest he ever took. Steve is there when he comes home. He smiles and asks how it's been, but shuts up as soon as he sees Billys face. He's there in a heartbeat and pulls Billy into a hug. Billy can't help it, he starts crying. Steve is there and holds him tight. They don't talk about it that night, Billy can't. He just cries into Steves shoulder until they both fall asleep late at night.
Billy and his mom had made plans to meet again the following day, but Billy doesn't hear from her on that day or the days after. He feels hurt and betrayed, but there's this voice in his head, that sounds suspiciously like Neil's that whispers to him. "What did you expect? Nobody could love someone like you."
About two weeks go by until another letter arrives. Billy puts off reading it until Steve opens it for him, so he has to. His mother apologizes but tells him she can't let him into her or her new family's live until he "repents from his sinful ways." There are bible quotes, some of them in a different handwriting (Billy guesses her husband's) and parts that read more like a sermon. There's also a brochure for a camp that could help him "finding his way back into gods light."
Billy is gutted but he had already expected something like this. Still holding the letter and reading his mothers words hurts like hell. Steve holds his hand while he's reading the letter and pulls him into another hug when he's done. Billy doesn't cry this time but falls into a stoic silence. It's a sobering realization that even his mother's love was conditional.
They burn the letter and the brochure on their stovetop. Afterwards Steve cooks them pasta and just chats away. Billy listens to him and even laughs a few times at the stupid things he says. They sit on the couch and watch TV while they eat.
"You know we should invite Joyce and Hopper for a few days." Steve says after they sat in silence for a while. "Will's looking into going to College here. We could show them around a bit." Billy knows that they don't really need to show Joyce, Hopper and Will around Chicago, they had been visiting them quite a bit over the last few years. But as he looks into Steve's big brown eyes, that are so full of love and warmth, he understands why. His own family may not love him and reject him, but he had built another family with Steve and the gang of nerds he'd driven around since they were pre-teens. Hopper who was grumpy and and constantly annoyed, but was always there with a word of advice over a cold beer when he needed it. And Joyce who was more of a mother to all of them than his own mother could ever be. Heck, even Nancy and Jonathan who they didn't see that often anymore but who they'd call every other week or so. Billy felt warmth in his broken heart, mending the cracks and filling him with love.
So he said "Sure, why not?", and smiled at Steve. Steve smiled back and pulled Billy in a soft and gentle kiss. This, Billy thought, was what real love felt like. This was home.
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