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smutty-ki113r · 3 years

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yes yes i am very sure that Ben loves u ! he snatched my phone out of my hand to look at the picture. I am almost certain he was blushing ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ hehe. he told me to tell u that u r gorgeous <3

I totally get what u said abt having trouble with believing love, red! I also have trouble believing that anybody could love me! Trauma yes u r right ig lmao

ALSO WTF HOW R U SO PRETTY?! MIGHT SNATCH U FROM BEN NGL 😘💕

oh yeah Ben completed the heart like... I wish I could take pictures of him man :< but he did and he was grinning ear to ear.

Oh god I have like a full pdf file with backinfo of my oc's and I need to update it again...(it's been only a month-) so uh sharing all of it would be kinda a lot. so here is a lil info abt my oc's: 8 clownis :> and then we have 3 mythical creatures and 2 robots but i don't count the bots as oc's since they r mostly just gadgets. my clowns r; as I said; based on clowndolls I either bought, made or got gifted. the mythical creatures have powers, 2 of them r based of drawings I made and the third is based of my comfort stuffie :> i'll keep it at that for now

OKOK i defintely think if u tell Ben u have trouble sleeping he will either stay up with u or "help u out" haha.

It went great with toby 🥰 maybe a lil tmi BUT well my crevix felt abused- but I slept like a goddamn baby. I slept 8 hours yay!!!

sorry for answering a lil late...i got my period and felt horrible yesterday. the pain was ok but my dysphoria acted up again -.-

I feel a lot better today :>

-🃏

DID HE SEE ALL THE PICS? I posted more cause people were boosting my ego and BRO it’s so hard to heal from those things. Cause if people actually do want to be with me it’s like do I trust them? IDK for you but for me, people used to lie about being in love with me, so now I am suspicious. Also cause wow, there’s a lot of people out there why would you choose me? Im actually super insecure about myself LOL im trying to work on it!

HE COMPLETED THE HEART????????? DEAR LORD THATS ADORABLE———grinning ear to ear i could cry!! from happiness obviously—————- side note: question; i am not sure how things work over there HAHHAH, but if Ben can see the pics and the fics are like my anon messages (like this one) there too?? Like can he for example read this? Just completely random cause i literally have no clue how it works over there-. ALSO since your’e with Toby lucky bitch i could strangle you, with love cause i love you so much does he ever talk about masky? 🤨 Cause I remember you tellin me he’s quite reserved. Hmmm. LOL IM SO INVESTED IN THIS SHSH

Thats so impressive, you literally have clown oc’s from the dolls you make. 😮 Thats a different level of dedication. AND YOU DRAW//?? Imagine the talent. What kinds of powers do your mythical creatures have??? I LOVE IT!!! I dont have oc’s per say, i just have like a book im writing, but that’s different i think?? Cause i get so attached and like one of my protagonists i fucking- i cant even describe. But I wrote an entire piece on that. LOL LMK IF YOUD LIKE TO READ IT

If I ever got in an intimate situation with ben I would get so so sososososos insecure. Like im such a simp ofc yes, and AGH SEX but also like,,,HAHAHHAJHA I HAVE SO MANY CONCERNS WITH MY BODY- regardless. I am so fucking PROUD OF YOU! Look at you- getting good dick sleep. NEVER TMI ON THIS BLOG 😌

Bro, we are literally SYNCING UPPPPPPP, I got my PERIOD LIKE TWO DAYS AGO AGHHHH. But ive been having dysphoria too, and i completely understand. Remember that you are valid, and you are in fact NOT A GIRL, and you never have been, and you never will be. Its literally scientifically proven that non cis people’s brain are literally different- you will always be just a person in my eyes. Gender is shit, fuck gender, it’s literally made up.

I LOVE YOU!!! I wish i could crawl over the screen like ben or smtg and give u a hug.

#🚹#♠️#💬

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ghoulstars · 5 years

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i Sure Would Like to not have to be literally relieved/excited when my mom goes to bed every single night because otherwise i feel constantly tense and at risk of something happening to make my living situation unsafe, again, even if we’ve had a good/normal day

shes back on her fucking bullshit today and she usually confronts me on things that have made her Mad(tm) that ive “done” but today she hasnt said jack shit to me. all i can figure is: shes upset that i didnt get up and help her stain the wood for the porch we’re building where our old shitty side deck was shes upset bc i didnt wash all the dishes ?????????? who fucking knows

heres the kicker though folks: i didnt wash all the dishes because for some reason, since replacing our water heater, when the water from the sink starts getting cold it doesnt gradually get cold, it literally goes from like scalding hot (even thru gloves) to hardly lukewarm and i was only washing dishes for about 20? 30? minutes last night before the water temp fucking plummeted so i couldnt finish. bonus is that there were literally only like 5-7 things left to wash and it was literally just 3 styrofoam cups, one pot and like...2 or 3 forks/spoons. absolutely incredible and worth spitefully giving your daughter the cold shoulder over, am i right folks

and me helping stain was only even a fucking a possibility because she gave me an open ended offer to help her last night and i gave an open ended response. she asked me if i wanted to try to go to bed early enough and she would call me in the morning and just see if i wanted/felt up to come out and help, and i said i would be willing to try and id do my best. so when my manic ass had a manic moment and i slept for 3 hrs from 6 am to 8 and was dying and couldnt pass back out for any reason of course i texted her and told her i couldnt fucking help lmao. my fucked sleep schedule is a result of my Crazy Quirky Wacky Bipolar 2 anyway and like she refuses to help me or sympathize with me abt my mental health so ??? guess ill die?????

i didnt get back to sleep around fucking like 12/1 pm and i noticed that she stopped fucking replying to my texts literally right after i said i couldnt help and then every time she walked past my room, where i was Clearly Awake And On My Phone With My Door Open, she flat out ignored me. wouldnt even spare me a side glance.

and when i woke up at 5 pm today, no matter how late i wake up my mom always comes and wakes me up no matter what, today she walked by my room twice EVEN WHEN IT WAS THAT LATE AND I WAS STILL IN BED without saying jack fucking shit to me, and only came in on her third time walking back by to her sitting room and just blankly went ‘youre not laying here in the dark’, turned on my light, then swiftly left

then before that she’d texted me, after telling me for weeks to just use our limited data even if it runs over bc our wifi cant handle my phone being connected along with all our other devices anymore, that im going to have to use my laptop now bc she isnt paying another 200$ phone bill this month. here’s kicker number 2: after literally outright giving me her food plans for tonight and tomorrow yesterday she also texts me that she didnt cook. just a flat “I didn’t cook”. im so fucking depressed all the time that i physically and mentally cannot handle getting up to find and cook myself my own like ACTUAL MEALS and making food that requires actual cooking is often times out of the fucking question, and shes been not cooking for SEVERAL nights here recently, sometimes days in a row, and with my depression being wholly unacknowledged by her, once again, guess ill fucking perish??? unless i can miraculously find the energy to make chicken fingers or ramen noodles im going to be doing what ive fucking done almost every goddamn night this past month she hasnt cooked which is live off of snack foods and ensure lmao. KICKER NUMBER 3: she promised me that either tonight or tomorrow, bc she has a Big Foobaw Game, she wouldnt cook and would instead get me my alltime favorite chinese food from my alltime favorite chinese restaurant that she knows i love a lot, and regardless of what night her game was, she didnt cook tonight and i LITERALLY heard her say less than an hr ago that she’d be cooking tacos (which she intended to originally cook tonight) tomorrow. that being said, her specifically saying she ‘didnt cook’ today when she promised to get takeout in general at some point this week makes me think tonight was just supposed to be tacos (esp if what i think i can remember serves). and now she hasnt cooked anything at all! and tomorrow its gonna be tacos! :) fucking knowing how she is and how she works and functions with her abusive behavior towards me i would not be surprised and am also partially convinced that for whatever reason she’s all DooDoo Angery at me that shes doing this on fucking purpose to deprive me of the treat she promised out of spite/as some kind of passive aggressive ‘punishment’ HAHAHAHA ECKS DEE SO FUNNY XDDD

the only other time shes acknowledged my fucking worthless existence(tm) today was to pull one of her Iconic “im only saying this really ridiculous shit that ive never said before and we’ve never talked about before, ever, just to take digs at my daughter bc she Displeased Me” moments, where she walked by, almost totally ignored me again but stopped like. like she was gonna just keep walking but caught herself and she ended up like...halfway obscured by my doorway anyway and quickly said to me “i need you to sweep.” and then she went to the bathroom and i hear “and take your (cat) poop out too. litterboxes get done every night.”

we have two litterboxes. never in the history of ever has she said anything to me about they get done Every Night >:( and that has never been an established rule, nor have we ever even spoken about me doing that. i do them every few nights, usually on different days, bc there’s Two Litterboxes. and surprise surprise my depression impedes my ability to keep up with them without her having to tell me to clean them most of the time which pisses her off, except i literally did them 1-3 nights ago and theres no way that they both need cleaning again already and now shes suddenly on her shit like. they get done. every night. in that fucking vaguely militant voice she gets when she’s mad like that and is fucking with me on purpose

but fucking like even regardless of all this other shit, point blank, she is the one who has not expressed any of her annoyances with me today to make her act like this. how can i fucking communicate about the issue when she doesnt TELL ME WHAT HER ISSUE IS and instead opts to mentally and emotionally screw with me for her own satisfaction--and even then!!! she has no right to be this mad with me over not helping with the porch bc SHE left it OPEN ENDED and NONCOMMITTAL, SHE could have easily asked me why there were dishes left (though bc i have to do them so late at night/early in the morning bc im fucking depressed shed prolly just blame me FOR doing them at that time bc if i do them TOO LATE at night then the WATER TEMPERATURE GOES DOWN because its COLD AT NIGHT or something like that) but she didnt and now like everything else, fresh off my period, still manic, always rapid cycling, just got off the manic depression train slightly after being on it for two days and then before that it was Severely Uncomfortable Euphoria, feeling just so fucking wrong in my own skin and feeling too many emotions that are too strong that i dont want, so on and so forth, im the one whos suffering because of her unresolved neuroses and narcissism

and like....to be honest, real shit? with how fucking unpredictable and fucky she’s become since our Big Fight i also would not be surprised and sort of have half a mind to think she’s just mad for literally no reason (related to me or otherwise) and is doing this just because lol

#personal #dont reblog #long post #abuse tw #parental abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #mental abuse tw

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shytiff · 3 years

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Small Nov Wins

1 - cant bring myself to study, got out of bed 10:30-ish am. While lazing around i read royal servant and do random internet stuff and watched romee's vlogs. Ate breakfast and i somehow has no appetite?? This is rare. e, cicil kompre began at 15:30 pm (i know, i waste my time a lot). Pengumuman wahana mpi wow yay kalideres makara and budi asih

2 - the weather was pleasantly cloudy. poli anestesi anak, simul. went to what used to be calais, its called flavola now. at this point i quite need some calories because i only ate bubur ayam and its like 2-3 pm ish. Eventually the hunger is gone, arrived home at about 4-ish, drank protein to curb my hunger (nanggung dinner). dad said sumn that annoyed me so after maghrib i just lazed in bed, not feeling like doing anything (even though there’s lots of exams and hw lmao), fell asleep

3 - woke up at 2 am, prated, randomly searched for angel - chancellor and taeyeon’s lyrics and i basically wept at 4 am. i assumed the song was just like,,, a guy talking to a girl, his angel, you know. EXCEPT,,,,,,,,. the 2 MVs was also rly222 beautiful 🥺. Poli geriatri today, didnt even see patient because there was no more at that time (status salin nadia). ate ichiban salad (surprisingly quite good) at dm bcs i rly do be functioning better outdoors, made matcha latte with full cream milk ((powder)), cicil PT

4 - can finally wake up late. finished 1 sitasi pt, made ikk ppt, bujing lina called about diarrhea and nausea meds, laddered the leader for tomorrow’s exam and it,, was,,, me,, group call with shiko. frantically studied for EA

5 - PT (finished in 45 mins), simul as a leader, with STEMI, VF and hypoglycemia case. somehow made it through. i suck at dosages omggg. PP by car with mom (not rly that tired) but i SLEPT after i got home and had no mood to study helpppp

6 - did my first swab test today. i pushed the doctors hand when she’s doing oropharyngeal swab im sorryyyy 😂. slept. matcha. cicil kompre

7 - still havent finished ikk (deadline: today), and still havent studied for geri and ikk AND i still managed to take a nap. why. Read a bit of kompre. Not sleepy after matcha, but insted i reread bj alex and tsubaki chou lonely planet until 2 am the next day #rippriorities

8 - im having matcha latte seven days in a row as of today :))))) woke up at 10:30 am, went to flavola with atikah and got strawberry yakult (tasted like es mony), arrived home at abt 7-ish am and there no dinner, so i drank protein and ate japota honey butter. My breakfast was chicken porridge, so my diet is sooo liquid today. Rip proper nutrition (ate buryam, lumpia, japota for the whole day and drank 3 beverage). Cicil kompre and studied geri

9 - suma geri, slept, cicil kompre, ny head kind of hurts

10 - my head still hurts, suma ikk with dr herqu and dr retno, didnt take swab result by car because the TRAFFIC in soetta so my brother took it. Thankfully negative.

11 - lulus kompre alhamdulillah, the examiner were Prof Saptawati and dr. Dani from THT. Dr dani still remembered me :"") they were very kind. Went to tamel for first wahana: klinik makara UI. Picked up masker first at mahmudas place, and then went to depok. On the way i was interviewed by maba 2020 wtf im so old. Cleaned up my room with the fam, printed sumn in barel (its quite empty there)

12 - first day at klinik makara ui. i WALKED. such wow. fixed my shoes in kutek. had breakfast in barel and bahari for lunch-dinner. somehow i felt very drained. bought Dapur Alya (nutella and regal) and 2 salads from Salad Point since there was 11.11 promo. Put all of them in the fridge. Read Fools and its sooo good omg

13 - had salad and left over bahari rice for brekkie. went to clinic by grabbike :)))), had my first teleconsultation experience today, a chemical trauma case. suma ea with the help of shiko

14 - woke up at 5:20 ish and i jogged a bit at ui lmaoo. fisip - ft - fisip. By 6:30 im already back at my room. 1 hour can be spent a lot of different ways, it turns out. Washed my clothes. Ate monstercheese pizza. Slept a bit. Went to blok m with ara (she was late as always, surprised her with koi milk tea), ate futago ya (greasy cheesy milky goodness, enak tapi eneg afterwards), bought red bean bread at la mouette, bought discounted onigiri bento box at papaya. We went to m bloc space, looked around, ate gelato at kebunide (blueberry: yum, fresh, kiiinda feels artificial, salted caramel: delicious but makes me thirsty) and did photobox at connectoon. Walked to mrt asean but turns out!! for weekends mrt is closed at 8pm. Took grabbike to sudirman, seeing the pretty city and people just hanging out, playing skateboards on the wide sidewalks.

15 - planned to go jogging with salemba frens but i woke up late (06:45), so i just lazed around. Ate onigiri bento (super worth it for 25k for the proteins), fell asleep again 10ish to 14:30 lmaoo. The doms from yesterday was present even on the right side of my lower back 🙂 the red bean bread made me feel full, and the red bean was not too sweet, which i love. Reviewed some meshwork materials i missed. Fianti called and we talked abt her and hari

16 - had mujigae for sahur and fish bite for iftar. The fish was not as soft as fish streat, but the flour was definitely better and crunchy. But it doesnt have the seasoning micin like fish streat do. The pasta was quite a lot im in food coma afterwards. Fell asleep, and my stomach was so gassy that i woke up in the middle with a headache that does not play around. Fortunately it dissapeared in the morning

17 - breakfast is rice kimchi and abon lmaoo just pretend it makes sense. The scrubs i ordered finally arrived. I fell asleep AGAIN, WHYYYY. Lost my streak in DL, i guess i can stop using it for now.

18 - finished reading blood link, girlll i thought the human died at the end. Did not buy food today wow. Took a nap and cicil kompre.

19 - brekkie at barel. Helped measuring antropometry today at clinic, and also measured my own. The fucked up thing was that i THOUGHT my body fat is still at 28% compared to the past (dr rina's research). So i looked at the old paper AND. I USED TO HAVE. 35% FAT 🙂 even my memories are in denial and are fooling me. All this time i thought i was at 28 🙂 did swab at rsui. The one swabbing was from fkui 2012 and we had small talk. It hurted more than lmk :( now this does feel like drowning in water (cause before i said "nah its not like water in nose"). Took angkot back to tamel, bought piscok lumer pocin and its soooo gooood ugh

20 - i feel like if i have breakfast with leftover rice and abon and sozzis i get hungry faster lmaoo. Ordered ken karaage from kukusan, yaa okela for 25k with ongkir. Did online posbindu education through wa. BTS BE COMEBACK 🥺 i maximized my wifi time (no wifi at tamel) so i listened to the whole album. My mobile data is at 200MB lol. Read a good longreads from the atlantic, about down synd and genetic screening. The writing is so so good im just blown away. And teary eyed.

21 - ran a bit, solid class (gastro, rheum, infection), embryo, webinar about sleep by dr Gita Anindyajati, SpKJ, bought ayam geprek gold chick (lotsss of oil since i ordered tempe, jamur, egg, bought pop cookies. matcha cheese was actually better than i expected (the combination somehow fits), dark chocolate and marshmallow is very chocolatey like mom’s brownies, and vegan strawberry cookie with a hint of mint. i wonder how they replace the egg. I wonder why after i run i dont feel hungry for a moment. bloating just gooes away

22 - joined kris' healthy weekly event (lmao) in tamsur. They went to epiwalk first. Its difficult for me to run w mask, ngl. Went back to tamel, embryo, ate leftover meal from gold and chick, felt somehow drained to the bone so i just laid in bed and lazed and lazed. Theres no soreness, but the weakness was generalized lmao. Ordered bbq chicken almond salad from salad point, it was actually quite fulfilling and delishhh (added chili sauce to the dressing). Literally laid in bed from 7 until i fell asleep and woke up at 6 the next day. Finished readin shame application lmao

23 - i still feel tired ckckck. No doms, but i feel like i just want to lay down. got DV patient today at clinic, its most likely derm numularis??? Ate salad and dark choco marshmallow cookies in the evening and that cookie. Is so damn sweet im just thinking about the increase in my blood sugar. And i like sweets so!!! Never thought id find sumn too sweet. Washed my clothes and cicil ukmppd (i put things about studying ukmppd in habitica now)

24 - ate tanoshi sushi and ufo ramen for bfast, ate the sushi again for lunch and after waking up from my sleep i tried kokku ramen (so so, but the egg yolk's good)

25 - bfast: superbubur, protein shake and cookies. (did not make me feel full long enough). Ordered burger from EATG (so so, burger bener is better) for lunch. Last day at makara ui. Ara arrived coz shes staying here in tamel. Waiting for mom to arrive from cibubur, she arrived at about 20:30. I passed out at home

26 - first day in pkm kalideres, i volunteered to be pj to avoid RSUD. my room is a mess, i feel tired after i go back. maybe its the physical withdrawal (?) because i dont walk like when im on klinik makara. came to pkm thinking i wont do anything (orientation only) but the 6 of us ended up going. i was at igd. i saw nail extraction and injected ats for another patient

27 - talked for almost an hour with the doctor at poli lansia. went home, felt sooo tired, i slept and actually showered after maghrib. originally planned to go to sbux but i was just tired af. my mood was horrible at home.

28 - turns out i started my period today. i havent studied at all during pkm kalideres era. embryo. slept again. read some manga by nishin something with the psychological and BL genre.

29 - embryo. cut my hair, showered, and felt better. fell asleep on dr gita's lecture. Drank cimory banana milk with a bit of matcha powder. I dont know if its the sleep, or a bit of caffeine, but my mood feels better and im more awake. Cicil ukmppd with a slow pace. Read itasaku ff. Slept at about 2 am

30 - surprisingly, i dont feel sleepy when i wake up. poli anak today, surprisingly i got perinatology case (jaundice). presented it on pleno. for bfast i ate 3 slice of bread (2 with meat and cheese, 1 choco and cheese) and protein shake, lunch: a slice of choco cheese bread and a banana, fell asleep, dinner: 1 bakwan, a banana and nextar. i can feel that the calories i got today is even less than what i usually got (and usually i already try to limit calories that i am counting the intake amout and made sure im not too far from my bmr lmaoo (~1100)

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loveg1rl-remade · 7 years

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write short descriptions of your favourite mutuals/friends and then tag them (but not next to their descriptions) and try to make them guess which one is theirs!

i did two parts bc i did a lot of ppl! ppl are tagged in alphabetical order dfjskfn also i hope y'all can guess your number 🚶🚶🚶

p1.

@01bri @1aju @1oveful @2blushy @chanilovehours @doyoung @fruittxt @himlo @jenolees @junghwasgf

01 - omg we were JUST talking today… we always hit each other up for drama its p funny sjdfksldj i love hearing them talk just in general. they have a lot of good energy and it makes me happy that they like me enough to like. willingly hit me up i think thats really cute and i love that… also theyre always going to concerts and i think thats really cute i hope they hve a really good time :( they always have my back n i love talking to them !! angel

02 - my sweetheart!!! they’re really the funniest we used to talk ALL the time before school started :( i miss them a lot but honestly i love when they spam me with notifs :’) jsdfkjsd i remember when we first met n we talked about divergent and the bts visual novel it was HONESTLY really iconic… they’re a year under me but honestly it feels like we’ve known each other for a while !! they have a lot of love in their heart and their love for a certain few ppl (starting w t) is so sweet :( i love how we both procrastinate and stay up until like 2 for everything anyway ily and i miss u!

03 - omg.. i feel like they’re my younger sister… i really don’t deserve such a ray of sunshine! whenever i’m down they always send me the sweetest asks and messages and once they even told me abt their day out of nowhere i just thought that was really cute :( they’re ALWAYS cheering me on and it is really really sweet !! they make me rlly happy nsdfkjsd even just seeing their asks that start with “GIRL!!!” yea :’) they’re the brightest star w the cutest personality

04. we talked for like four hours about grapes once and that’s how we became friends… uhh i love them a LOT !!! they are really so kind and supportive and we get along really well?? they have a callout list for me kjdfdsf honestly we have a lot of inside jokes and it’s really cute. they changed my opinion abt taureans (U SHOULD KNOW WHO U ARE BY NOW .. ) and i just love how we can talk about anythin????? also your sleep schedule is SUPER screwed up but its chill bc that means we can talk more ndfkjsdkf i love you angel !!

05. i will LITERALLY never forget the time i was feeling like absolute SHIT and they took the time to write out like an ESSAY for me and it’s saved and screenshotted and immortalized forever in my heart it really meant a lot for someone to like. take the time out to do that for me and im so grateful…we don’t even post the same content anymore but they always interact w my posts and check up on me and send me asks… i love them a lot lot lot! on my old blog they’d send me the cutest asks too im grateful and lucky to have them in my life :’)

06. they know who they are !! my one n only!! we talk every single day and somehow they don’t get sick of me which is a feat in of itself. super creative and caring and empathetic and strong and selfless and just? a really good person. they have the biggest heart and the most love to give. they’re also really hard on themselves :( my biggest cheerleader n the love of my life.. if you haven’t figured out who you are yet i’ll send jeno over to talk some sense into you (*tell you he loves you)

07. soooo soft :( everything about them is soft!! they hav a lot of love for a certain bunny boy and they’re always always tagging ppl in things i think it’s so unbelievably kind. they’re always spreading kindness and joy and is such a ray of sunshine!! i really really lov them a lot !

08. o man where do i start?? they’re really full of a lot of love… they’re always love posting abt their best friend and that really makes me so happy that they have such a positive good person in their life… anyway we always send each other cute asks periodically to check on each other & we’re always helping each other out when we go through emo moods… anyway they’re applying to college at the same time i am and i remember stressing out abt it with them but i KNOW we’ll both be fine i lovve them :’)

09. seriously a big source of support for me even if we don’t talk on the daily!! they always have really good advice to give and even when like. No Advice Can Be Given they’re always lending an listening ear. they’re really cute i love how mature they are !! besides giving rlly insightful n thoughtful advice.. uh they’re just a rockstar! they’re a little bit younger than me but they always try their best and help others out and it’s really admirable. plus they said they love making playlists and i just thought that was the cutest thing :/

10. we haven’t had a lot of conversations together but theyre really just the sweetest :( ever :( i was going through a hard time n they sent me so many sweet asks and messages. its always nice to know there are ppl who care abt u and this person is just SO caring in general!! they’re always tagging ppl in sweet things and doing their best and it is much appreciated !! much like their name they rlly are. the best and the brightest

–

p2.

@kimjunnoodle @lazy-gudetama @pastelunnie @rapgodkth @rosehyuck @snowedjin @taehn @taeilsgrl @taeyyongs

11. UGH another sweetheart … they’re always sending me the sweetest long asks checking up on me and they’re always interacting n communicating and talking abt stuff they’re passionate abt it i really love it ?????? i miss talking to them !! they would send me the cutest dog pictures :( i always see them around spreading love and happiness and warmth .. they have a lot of love and compassion in their heart. i always look forward to their asks and replies!!

12. my EVERYTHING!!!! i saw their selfies like yesterday n they rlly knocked my socks off imagine being so pretty!!!! they are really an icon it was so cute talking to them abt our wedding :/ they’re a lot of fun they go from super soft to super funny and like, theyre either loveposting or talking about furries i think its the funniest thing ever. anyway they’re a total sweetheart n the best hyuck stan so yeah ! i love love

13. omg …. they’re SO considerate they’re always tagging me in those “associate ur mutuals with” posts and it’s honestly really cute ??? they have my kidneys and my left lung and my Whole heart :( the biggest sweetest tae stan ! super sweet and lovely and funny !!! we don’t talk a lot but i’m always cheering them on behind the scenes!! they always interact w my not funny stupid posts and hype me up theyre just. really great to be with and im grateful to b mutuals

14. i’ve known you the longest!!!!!!!! i have all ur jk fics saved omg :( you’re the sweetest bean and i love talking to you.. even tho we don’t talk on the regular anymore it’s always so sweet hearing from you and i love how we always update each other when smthing important happens in our lives!!!! i love watching the videos u send ur voice is rlly the cutest n i remember the first tme i heard it i started crying anyway i still have your christmas card saved and i love you a whole freaking lot im still waiting to go on a date with u :( my tall gf

15. UH we literally talk and just. gush over how cute girls are …. jsfdasdf we ALWAYS tell each other beef no matter what sfjdsk they really have such a caring n chill personality. we think alike so it’s really nice telling them abt things i need help with because i always get a good second perspective on it… they’re always here to listen to me (even late at night when they have work the next day)… they’re a bit like my older sister i trust them a lot !! i really love how they always update me on things even tho i SUCK ass at messaging so :) anyway i love them a lot (move to california sooner!)

16. one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i’ve ever met. memes are iconic and every single conversation we have i always manage to laugh bc their comedic timing is amazing and yea they’re just an all around great person. they’re my movie buddy and we can also really talk abt anything??? like we’re super comfortable around each other which is super cool n i’m grateful. we can talk for hours n hours … and yeah .. they’re also super sweet and always support me through everything! we have a lot of inside joke its cute & i’m glad i met this person i really am :’)

17. hdfsfn.. really. they really own my heart.. honestly i couldn’t have asked for a better mutual???????? they are Top Tier quality one of kind…they have like thousands upon thousands of followers and they always always promo me … im so undeserving of their love… AND AND THEY ALWAYS SEND ME ASKS …. even when like. im being annoying and ask stupid questions no one wants to answer they always write out a whole paragraph and it makes my WHOLE world ten times over im so grateful for them … i have the strawberry emoji on like all of their asks bc i want to keep all of them thats how much i appreciate the time n effort they show me … wrow… the cutest and best ever i love them a LOT!

18. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re so motherly to me …. they’re always looking out for me and making sure i’m doing ok and i think that’s just the sweetest best thing ever :( they’re really sweet n pretty AND funny i always love seein their posts… they’re one of my few exo mutuals and i LOVE IT ! I LOVE THEM! they are sosososo soft their tags for their man are really the cutest too… they’re one of those mutuals who switch from loveposting to toesucking and it’s the best and funniest i love them! once i was sick n they sent me like two asks making sure i was ok and . wrow. i couldnt have asked for anyone better

19. mMmMmMm i remember i thought they hated me and then it turns out they didn’t and i was SO relieved bc they’re so sweet and funny and :( just a really great person. they did a lil astrology analysis for me and it was so spot on i’d trust them with my life and my savings and my posterity…. uhhh they have a heart of gold they’re always looking out for others and trying their best n it’s really admirable. they also have such a good sense of humor!! a treasured mutual who owns my heart :(

#jaskfjfaskd. i spent a while on this #anyway! if something is messed up just tell me i copied and pasted a lot of stuff #textpost #ask #anon #mutuals

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fluffi · 3 years

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i think it was because god's menu was released around the same bp and svt made their comebacks. same thoughts tho on gm > bd and i was also glad that bd got the wins gm didn't. and same with the streaming mvs while studying : ] ahh, the easily distracted people we are. (reading cut and litol font bc poor ppl who see this on the dash TT)

i've heard chinese ballads (usually osts of films and from a chinese friend) and their songs really tend to tug on my heartstrings. i hope sm gives shotaro more stuff to do soon :[ with some of the units being active and sungchan being an mc on a weekly show, it makes me wonder what he's doing. do you think nct will form a new subunit?

no, i'm not lactose intolerant so it really took me by surprise. it was a one-time thing. hopefully it doesn't happen again. i can't really say i'm a big fan of ice cream but it's good occasionally yk as a treat to yourself. and ahhh, i miss drinking smoothies. my favorite stall has been closed for nearly two years now, idk if they ever re-opened since our city mall burned down :[

i think it's an nct thing? it's why i never get tired of them bc they're always active in a way. you should've seen how things went down last year! march 127 album, april dream mini-album, may 127 repackage, june wayv album and the whole nct 2020 thing. it was a wild year. about the track, i listened to it once and forgot about it. might give it a few more listens but it might not grow on me at all. yes! wasn't a big fan of hot sauce at first too bc i thought the intro was weird (not jaemin's part, like the first thing that plays). and yes, that hook loops in my head 24/7. i even made it my instagram bio.

stray kids world domination indeed! and i agree that their performances were really impressive (specially the deadpool one, best one yet) but sometimes i would fancy ateez' more. i didn't watch kingdom too bc it stressed me out as a multi. always caught between being happy for one group and being sad for the others. and atz and tbz! you're still getting into nct and you're thinking of adding 19 more boys! judging from what i know your taste in music is, i think you'll like tbz's music better since there are a lot more soft songs there than in atz. but do give both discographies a listen in the future!

oh izone! i've only heard of them at music shows and dance choreo compilations bc of them being in sync. they're really satisfying to watch! i thought their title tracks were catchy as well! quite unfortunate that i never got into them really. but again, i dont think i can handle stanning temporary groups.

i'm starting to see a pattern in your biases :D i wouldn't be too surprised if you'll be drawn to jeno at some point in your dream venture. dream is soooo easy to love so if you really end up ulting them, i would understand why. and also, YES PLEASE WRITE FOR DREAM AND TAG ME IF YOU WILL. THANK YOU ><

thank you! :c don't get your hopes up tho, the masterlist must've been interesting to browse but are the fics truly worth it? XD i think not. since you already know koe, i'm reccing users @/rouiyan, @/nsheetee and @/loonacitys. i don't have that much fluff in my ficrecs blog. i think, i've heard of lvdsc before (maybe even read a fic or two) but i can't find their blog now. be careful in privating your works, you might end up losing them forever if you don't keep track of their links...(?) that's what happened to the works that i privated :/ take me with you if you move blogs ;n;

seungmin frequently left updates abt what he was doing, left good nights and good mornings, the occasional i miss you. he called fans 'baby' once. not sure if it was a mistranslation, or really just a one-time endearment. other than that, nothing beyond the usual. seung vlives always make me cry ;n; he always look so adorable and precious. also the gif, the fic was more on fake head-butting really but yes you could say it was also a fake nose boop bc it sounds cuter. i'll make sure to tag you on future seung content on the dash. (time to officially claim him as your ult, yes. dont make him secret anymore :3)

sorry it took me a while. tumblr went batshit. the ' werkl;' stopped working midway and i got busy with school yesterday. also haechan birth today and i'm so emo abt it. it's literally just a boy turning 21.

little font and cut saga lets go!!

(just kidding, i cant do little font typing for long periods of time, makes my eyes go beserk haha.)

true true, im afraid for txt on music shows now because theyre going against some big names (literally bts like whatj jsdf what was hybe thinking). yeah, streaming mvs while studying aka watching mvs on loop lmao. i still want to stream skzs final kingdom performance on instinct but i remember that theyve already won!! hehe

ah chinese ballads always make me emo, i like to scream out lyrics to the songs at the top of my lungs and sit there on the verge of tears. its a cultural thing maybe *sobs*. ooh, what show is sungchan mc-ing in? ill check it out. i thought sm would make nct japan for sungtaro (i heard sungchan speaks japanese) so it was a shocker when they made...nct hollywood lmao. given the current circumstances we're probably not going to get a new subunit anytime soon :( hopefully taro will have stuff to showcase during that period of time.

burned down?? oh my, what happened to your mall? that sounds terrifying. i remember when the front of my school caught on fire and we were all ushered out but we thought it was a drill and didnt find out till years later lmao.

oh true, since theyre such a big pack too. constant comebacks and promotions haha, nctzens never catch a break with 23 members. i listened to the new track again (ive forgotten the name already) but i cant- i cant do it. its just not my style hhh. i rewatched the mv for the godly visuals though. i dont know if youre talking about that 'bibididibibidiododo' part by that female morphed voice at the beginning of the song, because i wasnt a fan of that too. it grew on me though.

same, actually! im not an atiny and dont stan any other group in the show besides skz but i watched each groups performance and ranked them haha. at times ateez would rank over skz, it was wild. also yeah, my other multi friend was freaking out about kingdom and ended up abandoning the show because she was so scared of the fanwars and having to deal with her 'conflicting feelings'. about the stanning thing, in my defense, i have a list of groups i want to stan and ive recently added tbz and atz. the list is long, i have a long way to go! also yeah, i dont prefer ateez's songs and i have a bunch of tbz title tracks in my playlist but if i approach their discography like i did with nct then i think i would like at least five songs.

izone are my queens. theres a reason why theyre the only girl group who made it to my ult list haha! super talented and filled with variety and visuals, a perfectly concocted group (literally, sobs in pd48 scandal). ah, temporary groups. yeah i cried about their disbandment for like 3 days straight, it was bad.

a pATTERN?? INTERESTING. DO ELABORATE. jeno, oh my gosh hes like bang chan. an intimidating-looking bear whos actually filled with love and softness on the inside. im currently having a jaemin run though, his make a wish fancam is doing some wacky things. also yeah, dream is really easy to love. i fell for them so hard, theyre all talented and cute and adorable and the team ambiance is so nice. really rising up my stan list now. i mightt write for dream! ill have to see, hehe.

personally i think the fics are going to be worth it. i can feel it in my boOOnes. ooh, recommendations! fun :D ill check them (and yours) out after i finish this 30k jisung fic. ive been trying to finish it since yesterday but i keep getting sidetracked. also, i made a mistake. its luvdsc with a 'u', maybe thats why you couldnt find it? ahh. thank you for the privating tip though! will keep in mind. and of course ill take you with me if/when i move blogs. we're friends now! <3

SEUNGMIN CALLED STAYS 'BABY'???!!@)(@#*()! I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE ASKDFJDF. im exciting for the fake nose boop drabble!! i love soft couple moments hehe. also yeah maybe its time to make him my ult...hes going to have to compete against jake my beloved ope.

dont worry about being 'late' or anything! we all have our own stuff to do. also yeah tumblr is weird asf sometimes. if you havent realized i typically answer longer asks around the same time everyday, when i get to sit in front of my computer and pull out my clickity-clackity keyboard. super relaxing.

AND YES HYUCKIE DAY!!! HES SO ADORABLE HONESTLY. im in love with all seven members of dream, my fic rec blog is currently filled with fics for them haha.

#「 asks 」#moots — [♡] ;#toffee — [♡] ;#neo-shitty

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