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#also i think it’s poor writing to have to dump important information that makes the plot make sense and have depth
snootlestheangel · 7 months
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Cheers to the Unknown Pt.4
Monster/cryptid au ft. Just A Dude!Ghost; canon-divergent, alternate universe. More details here (parts are not a coherent story necessarily just scenarios as they come to me !subject to change!;all tagged under "cheers to the unknown") TW: language; being subjugated to the most precious Siren to ever Exist; self-deprecating statements; some sexual themes (Ghost is a monster fucker, okay y'all?); angst
Some Siren!Gaz to Soothe the Soul (And Official SoapGhost)
Random, yet necessary information dump on Gaz's siren form! In the initial post (link is 'more details here' above), I briefly mentioned that Gaz's siren form is more shark-like than just a typical "mermaid" type. So, here's a quick, more in-depth analysis of what this means! (if you can't tell I'm autistic and like sharks after this, you should get your eyes tested /jk)
Gaz has a lot of extra sensory organs to make him an elite predator! One of these organs are known as lateral line system. These appear in both his human and full Siren form as small ridges that run (vertically, so like top to bottom of his body) along his sides, including his neck and onto his legs, stopping just above his knees. There are very small ones that make it seem like his cheek bones are just sharper than the average person. This "line" system helps him detect pressure changes around him, making him very good at knowing when Ghost enters a room because he senses the change! He's just enough of a snarky little shit to not say anything to anyone else or to immediately rat the lieutenant out.
Also on his face, but only in his Siren form, are ampullae of Lorenzini, which are electroreceptors! These help with sensing the energies other creatures give off, as sometimes being a water based predator provides different challenges! Additionally, when in the water aka going Siren, he has an additional protective eyelid that still allows for great vision, but keeps his eyes safe! (I feel it's important to let everyone know I literally happy clapped after writing all this XD)
After all the time he's spent with the 141 and around a large variety of non-human species, one would think Ghost had seen it all. That Ghost wasn't phased by anything anyone did.
But after the one time Gaz used his Siren voice on Ghost in order to get out of recruit duty, he made sure to keep his guard up.
Granted, in Gaz's defence, voice is a poor term to describe the mystical power Sirens possess that allows them to influence their intended target however they please. Gaz, in this particular case, had merely just asked Ghost if he could take the next week instead of this one, and at first nothing had seemed wrong to Ghost. But then the sergeant walked away, flashing a wide grin with eerily perfect teeth and Ghost just knew. He knew that switching weeks had been banned by Price after an argument got physical. He knew that the answer to Gaz's question should have been no, but instead he had reluctantly agreed to swap weeks with him. Ghost knew the little shit had basically batted his pretty eyes and instantly persuaded his hardened lieutenant into bending a rule.
Ghost always admired Gaz, from the moment they met back when Gaz was only a corporal to now. He admired the man's confidence without seeming cocky or arrogant. He admired Gaz's intelligence, his cunning and snarky nature. While he and Soap had banter with each other, Ghost often found himself in what Soap lovingly dubbed "sass-offs" with the siren. The two would get caught up in being smart-asses with the captain, almost trying to outdo the other. Ghost never could tell if Gaz was doing this to mess with him or not.
But the more time he spent with Gaz, the more Ghost couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Ghost knew that deep down his jealousy was rooted in the natural way a siren's presence affects humans, but he never could stop himself from letting it bother him. Ghost wanted to blame the jealousy on himself. He wanted to be jealous not by natural causes, but because of his own insecurities. At least then, he would have no reason to hate Gaz.
It's not that Ghost hates Gaz, in fact it's the opposite. He admires and trusts Gaz, he would never want to hurt him, much less hold anything against him for simply existing.
He's jealous because Gaz is so effortlessly gorgeous. It's a silly thing for Ghost to be jealous over, especially considering the other is indeed a Siren, but it doesn't change a damn thing. Ghost is jealous of Gaz's inherent charm, the way he can win people over without ever using his Siren abilities against them. Sometimes, he wished so desperately to be like Gaz that he felt his heart slowly melt into a painful desire to love Gaz.
But above all, he was jealous of Gaz's relationship with Soap. They weren't together, at least not to Ghost's knowledge, but then again, neither were he and Soap. That didn't change the fact that Soap was always seen pressed against Gaz, each doing their own thing during downtime. Didn't change the way the two were constantly talking and laughing together, so effortlessly together on base whether it be training or filling out paperwork. Ghost was jealous because he wished it were him there next to Soap. He wished it were him being the nymph's grounding presence. And he would've rather burn than ever admit that sometimes, most of the time, he wanted nothing more than to be right there between both of them. Safe, content, and loved so effortlessly it was almost second nature.
What a fool he was for thinking he would never get that.
~~~~~
It was difficult for Ghost to ever sneak up and catch the sergeants by surprise, as both were very in tune with the world around them. But, there were times where corners and walls became his friends, and he would use them to hide when he didn't want to interrupt. One of these times he stopped to listen as he heard his name suddenly spoken by a familiar Scottish voice.
"As if Ghost feels the same." Soap snapped, assumingly at Gaz. Ghost frowned, leaning closer against the wall to hear. He didn't know what they were talking about, but clearly it was a rather heavy topic given the aggression in Soap's words.
"You don't ask him out, I will." Gaz spoke, golden confidence practically dripping with each word. Ghost couldn't breathe. He couldn't tell if Gaz was being serious, if Soap genuinely reciprocated the feelings Ghost had, if Gaz even felt that way.
"You'll ask him out for me or ask him out yerself?" Soap asked, suddenly a lot less angered than before. Ghost tried to still his beating heart for just a moment, afraid the racket it was making could be sensed by the sergeants.
"Well, I was going to ask for you, but honestly? Might just have to take him for myself." Gaz replied, and the gentle, yet taunting way he spoke the words twisted a warm knot into Ghost's stomach.
"Nope! Yer nae gettin' him first!" Soap shouted, and Gaz let out a loud laugh as he was tackled by Soap. Ghost stepped quickly away from the doorway, hoping to pretend as if he were never there. He walked to the end of the hall he came from, took a deep breath, and turned back around. He needed to get to his office, and in order to do so, he needed to pass the sergeants.
He can do this.
"Hey, Ghost!" Soap said, quite literally lighting up as he stepped around the corner and almost directly into Ghost. A soft blue glow emanated from the sergeant's chest, and it gave him such an appearance that Ghost would liken to an angel, an otherworldly creature made of light and beauty.
He cannot do this.
"Johnny." Ghost stiffly replied, and Soap's smile faltered slightly.
"Yeh nervous or somethin'?" Soap was taunting him. Did he know? Is this all some cruel joke to make him more miserable than he already was? Ghost should have known. He should have known better than to be close to anyone, to allow himself to be vulnerable with people he supposedly trusts.
"Dunno. Do you think I am?" Ghost calmly replied, doing his best to ignore the way his hands trembled ever so slightly. The familiar, yet almost comforting sensation of the hairs on his arms standing up swam over him as Soap took a step closer, grin morphing into something cocky as he tilted his head.
"Yer heart certainly says so." Fuck.
"Oh yeah? Think you know why?" Ghost asked, practically egging on the nymph. Soap chuckled, the sound deep in his chest and resonating in a way that felt like thunder.
"I think yer nervous cause o' me, Lt." Soap purred as he invaded Ghost's personal space. Ghost swallowed past the conflicting sensations running through his body; the knots and the warmth. It all blended together in a dizzying blur of emotion he didn't understand, wasn't familiar with.
"Got an idea on how to change it?" Ghost asked, and given the way Soap's eyes sparked, he knew the nymph had picked up on the slight quiver in his voice.
"Aye, dinner and a show. Tomorrow night?" Soap murmured as his fingers lightly brushed Ghost's chest, lightly shocking him without hurting. Ghost purposefully ignored the ever growing arousal that he was certain Soap had picked up on.
"What kind of show?" Ghost immediately regretted his question, if Soap's devious grin was anything to go by.
"Light show." God, he's so fucked.
"About damn time." Ghost whispered with a trembling breath. Soap chuckled again before placing a chaste kiss on Ghost's clothed cheek, barely brushing against the hard plate of his mask. He patted Ghost's chest before walking away, allowing the lieutenant carry on with his day.
What a fool indeed.
~~~~~
Gaz found Price along the shore of the lake close by the base. He had put on a different appearance, most likely so he could remain unbothered by the men under his command for a few hours, but Gaz still knew it was the captain. He's got a sensitive nose, after all.
"Soap finally asked Ghost out." Gaz called out as he came close enough. Price's head whipped around to face him, his natural appearance fading into existence.
"He said yes, right?"
"Yeah, of course." Gaz responded with a laugh as he took a seat next to Price.
"Fucking finally. I was about to get involved it was that bad." Price mumbled, and Gaz couldn't help but shake his head with laughter. They fell silent for a brief moment as Price sipped his drink.
"How are you feeling about it?" Price asked, and Gaz rolled his eyes. He confided in the captain with a lot, and his feelings for both being the most recent of topics. Of course Price would ask how this made him feel.
"I mean, I told him to do it. 'S'long as they're happy, I don't care." Gaz muttered, picking at the grass in order to avoid Price's calculating gaze. Gaz gently nudged Price's shoulder with his nose, the older man's worry starting to irritate him.
"I'm fine, Cap, I promise. They need a little time before I try to get involved." He mumbled, keeping his head resting against Price's shoulder.
"Unless that's not what they want." Price's deep rumble always grounded Gaz, but this time he couldn't help but think of how Ghost's voice would feel. How the deep, gruff rumble would feel against him as they laid there. Gaz shook his head as he sat up again.
"I don't know, Price. We'll just have to see." Gaz said, picking at more grass. Price hummed from next to him, knowing the sound alone was enough of a response for the siren. They stayed quiet for another few minutes as Price continued 'fishing' and Gaz picked at the grass. Fishing was not the best description of Price's restful activity, as he more or less kept a line casted while he read and drank. Eventually, Price must've grown tired of Gaz's pouting, as he suddenly sighed and shoved the siren's shoulder.
"Go for a swim, I'll keep watch." Gaz didn't need much more convincing. He typically hated swimming alone, as Sirens were targeted everywhere for their tears and their scales. Gaz even has a rather nasty scar on his stomach from a close encounter he had as a child. He also often avoided swimming around most people, as for his typical swims he would strip down and be his fully fledged siren form, and the act of getting in and out made him feel a different kind of vulnerable.
But when Price offered to keep watch? When Gaz knew he was under the careful guard of his captain? He never hesitated to abandon his clothing before diving gracefully into the water. A lake is not the ideal environment for a Siren, but it's the best Gaz has, lest he wanted to spend half his time in a bathtub just lying there.
Gaz stretched once under the water as his body shifted and morphed into something less human and more shark-like. He squirmed a bit as his tail developed, but the awkward sensation didn't last long. Clawed, webbed hands ran over his scales, all sparkling in the light. Dark, iridescent scales covered his body along his back, neck, and face, just barely stopping along his sides. Lighter scales adorned his stomach, and his fins were mostly solid with a bit of flashy blue fans trailing behind, making them appear weightless. His eyes had now completely blacked out, yet he still maintains impeccable vision, and his teeth had grown longer, sharper, and a bit jagged as a second row formed behind them. Large navy sails covered his ears, sticking up above the top of his head, now covered in dark purple scales.
As menacing as he was like this, Gaz was still the spitting image of beauty personified.
He stayed in the water for another couple of hours until his stomach growled. Price jumped slightly as Gaz suddenly launched out of the water and onto the shore next to him. Price shook his head as Gaz beamed at him, sharp teeth snapping together slightly with the motion. Gaz let out a sharp whistle as Price threw a towel at him, and Price winced in response.
"Watch your language!" Price snapped, as was common for him to say to the Siren while in this form. Gaz's ability to speak wasn't necessarily gone, but if he were to speak, it'd be nothing but his Siren voice, so he often stuck to the shrill whistles and clicks Sirens used to communicate with each other. The sounds, however, often felt painful for non-Siren ears.
"Thanks, Cap." Gaz said as he gently touched his nose to Price's. Price didn't bother looking up from his book as he patted Gaz's head.
"Yeah, yeah." He mumbled as he dropped his hand.
"Gaz." Confused, the Siren looked back over at the captain, only to see a few purple scales on the man's palm. He snorted and fell back into the grass with laughter.
"Fucking warn me next time." Price grumbled as he wiped the scales onto the grass. He packed up his possessions as Gaz finished drying off. Price let out an annoyed sigh as he stood and looked down at Gaz, whom was laid out on the grass, the towel still wrapped around him.
"Put your clothes on, son." Price said while kicking the sergeant's pile of clothes closer. Gaz groaned and rolled onto his stomach, sticking his face into the grass.
"Fucking hate clothes after swims." Gaz mumbled, the noise muffled.
"I'd hate clothes, too, if I were from the water. But we land dwellers have rules about such things. Quite frankly, I don't want one of my sergeants walking around in the nude." Price said, to which Gaz giggled a bit.
"Sometimes, I wonder what I can get away with before you actually send me off." Gaz commented as he finally sat up and grabbed his briefs from the pile of clothes.
"It wouldn't take as much as you'd think." Price responded, politely turning his back as Gaz dressed.
"Yeah, right. You asked for me." Gaz teased.
"Can always send you back, kid." Price quipped right back, and turned to smile at Gaz after being nudged on the shoulder by the Siren's nose.
"Let's get some food in you, yeah?" Price said as he wrapped an arm around Gaz's shoulders.
"Yeah. Thanks for watching my back." Gaz mumbled as he leaned into Price.
"Anytime, son. Anytime and always."
Taglist (want added?): @tacticaltaxonomist @cthulhusstepmom @cathnoneofyourbusiness @thorougly-melted-brains @sp4z-4tt4ck @49saltpeppershakers @bluebrryice
(Side note, at the time of posting this, I am in the process of withdrawing from college for, at least, the semester cause health comes first. So, I have a few more parts that will be scheduled to come out around the same times this weekend so I don't have to worry about that. I mean, this is only part 4 and I have another 3 parts written and one in the brain drafts, soooooo.... Yeah! And don't worry, I'm actually very happy about withdrawing from college for a bit, cause like I said, health first.
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dustyfairywings · 28 days
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Ok I think I know now how I wanna go about organizing my blogs.
I’m gonna make dedicated fan blogs for Blue Eye Samurai and Hazbin Hotel each. I’m gonna continue doing any original posts or reblogs about either within their respective blogs.
In the case of the BES blog specifically I’ll also be blogging about Edo Japan more broadly since I’ve wound up doing a lot of research in earnest about the period for fan fiction writing. I’m also thinking I’ll throw up any BES-related journal writing exercises I do over there. It’s probably gonna be a sort of open journal documenting my writing and research process interspersed with reblogs of others’ fan art, fanfics, and fan theories.
Likewise I will set up dedicated side blogs for any other specific non-fandom topics or aesthetics. I’m particularly fond of the surprisingly poetic prose of tumblr shit posts (think “tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit” type posts) and just the very specific type of humor and storytelling that arises from tumblr’s reblog system and the community’s character. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi to these posts I want to preserve haha.
I’m gonna change the name of this blog so it’s in line with all my other socials and I’m gonna uh TRY to clean this blog up (this is likely a Sisyphean task and I expect I might give up on this over time. But I still gotta try). I’m also gonna try to cut down on the number of mindless reblogs that wind up on this blog. If I reblog something here it should be because it’s helpful info/advice, important news/PSAs, or other people’s complete/finalized original work or fan work that I don’t have a dedicated blog for. In the case of informative posts I will do my best to only reblog it here once I’ve read through it and not just skim it tell myself I’ll read it later. In addition to all this I’m gonna uh actually try to use tags for organizational purposes. Force myself to slow down my mindless consumption and actually interact mindfully instead.
There’s still a lot of stuff I’ll want to reblog with zero thought or explanation just cause it’s funny or relatable or whatever, so all that sort of stuff will go on a dump blog. I’m really attached to the blog’s current name, it’s been with me from the start, so I’ll probably use it for my reblog dump.
Why do I feel compelled to do all this? Well, for the vast majority of my time on this site I was content with just being a faceless, largely voiceless user that just reblogs whatever is relatable in the moment and scrolling endlessly. I was on tumblr sure but I was never really in community with anybody. Now nearly a decade down the line, I feel like I’ve finally found community with others on this website thanks to Blue Eye Samurai, and the last thing I want is to drive people away bc they find my blog to be obnoxiously spam-like and disorganized. You can’t follow others from your secondary blog, only your primary blog and I actually want to have mutuals here. When it comes to social functions on this website, THIS blog is my first foot forward and generally others’ first impression of me. And in that respect, I’ve been a poor steward of my own image. If mutuals want to get to know me, this blog doesn’t really say anything useful or coherent about me. It’s literally a dump and we all deserve better than that.
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perkeleen-lavellan · 3 years
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There is a reason actually, beyond just my desire to avoid having to read books where I must assume the narrative wants me to sympathize with such stalwart pure characters as Celene Valmont, why I don’t read Dragon Age books or comics.
See, in an interactive story such as an RPG I as the reader have an unusually significant amount of control over the story, in the form of making my character make their own choices, their story being one I am in control of, and in the level of freedom I have to interpert the text, sometimes in the form of headcanon.
This means that even if the game writer’s own intention was to tell a story where, say, the Dalish desire to reclaim their past is deemed foolish, I as the reader have more flexibility to ignore that and tell a different story with a different message through the actions of my own character.
However in book and comic form this is a power I as a reader lose, and I don’t have faith in the narratives BioWare chooses to tell. So without that flexibility that lets me see a better story than its original intention, why would I waste my time reading a story I’m likely to dislike?
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ltleflrt · 3 years
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Hey Carrie! You talked a little the other day about writers' tendency to start a fic too early in the story, and how you see a lot of first scenes that could have been scrapped to improve the story. My question is if you have some tips to recognize while writing that first scene that you are starting too early in the story?
Hello friend!
That's a really good question, and I'll see if I can give an answer that makes sense. I am not a professional, and I'm not educated or trained in this stuff, it's just something that I recognize from years and years and years of voracious reading. And as with all writing advice, I encourage you to take what I'm going to say with a grain of salt and remember that no writing rule is a hard rule, only a guideline.
Also, my advice is going to be pertaining fanfiction, and specifically to AUs. Obviously a published book has an editor with a razor blade going through a manuscript for you, and the problems that bother me in fanfiction crop up in AUs more than Canonverse.
Oh, and every instance of "you" is general, not specific 😜
So I think the main problem that I see is that people are starting with an Info Dump. An Info Dump is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's completely necessary, but it is NOT where you want to start your story. If it absolutely has to be done, it's better to be somewhere in the middle or near the end. When it's something that your characters need to know.
That's an important bit: Do your characters need to know this?
And related to that: Does your audience need to know this for the story to make sense?
And very important follow up: If the answers to the above questions are yes, does the character/audience need to know this RIGHT NOW?
There's a lot of information about your story that YOU need to know. Heck, my notes files are full of sooooooo much stuff that I know about the characters and plot that never reaches the final product.
So when you're reading your first chapter (I say reading, not writing, because sometimes info dumping for your own benefit is good, and then you fix it before you share the story lol), ask yourself those two questions.
So for example:
In an AU where Dean is a tattoo artist, and it's his POV. The story starts with Dean driving to work, and when he gets there he's going to find out that the empty shop next door has been purchased and is going to be a yoga studio. He meets Castiel out front, up on a ladder trying to hang a hand painted sign, and some teens go running buy and knock into the ladder and Dean has to catch Castiel from falling. (Anyone who wants to adopt this idea is welcome to it btw, I would love to read this lol)
The mistake I often see in a first chapter like this is that as Dean is walking to work, there's a whole Info Dump about why he's a tattoo artist instead of a hunter. He'll be ambling along, thinking about his nice little business, and there's info about how his mom died in a fire, and his dad was a jerk, and Dean didn't go to college because he saved his money for Sammy's college fund, and Dean's only passion was art, and Bobby Singer introduced him to a tattoo shop owner who took Dean under his wing, etc.
Question 1, does your character need to know this?: Why is Dean reflecting on his past? Does Castiel need to know this information in order to build a romance with Dean?
Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Why does this information matter? If Dean's only reflecting on this because you want to make sure your audience knows where the timeline changed and this became an AU, then you're starting too early in your story. Dean doesn't need to know this, and honestly in a lot of cases the reader doesn't need to know this. This is information that should have been left in your notes file.
Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: If this information is pertinent to the plot, like maybe there's some trauma there that Castiel might need to know about to develop their relationship, then you don't want to put it HERE, you want to put it in a conversation with Castiel LATER.
If I was writing this AU, I would just start with Dean sipping his coffee, he's kinda tired because reasons, he looks up to see an unusual commotion, and has to drop his coffee and sprint forward to catch Cas. If he's reflecting on anything in this scene, it's going to be whatever made him tired, or how good/bad the coffee is this morning. Since Cas is a new business owner, they can talk about the origins of Dean's business on their first date, because it'll be a relevant response to Castiel talking about the origins of his yoga studio.
And just in general, if Dean's origin story includes a lot of canon elements, like mom dying in a fire, dad being a deadbeat, Sammy being the adorable overachieving Stanford student.... try to hide that info for as long as you can so that the audience is actually curious about it by the time the info might pop up. It's the wild divergences that are more interesting earlier on.
Okay, and then I want to talk about my giant pet peeve for a starting chapter. It's a specific kind of info dump, that often includes the stuff from above, but then goes a step further.
My nemesis, The Daily Grind.
I haven't asked the authors, so I could be wrong about this, but I feel like most of the time when this type of chapter is included in a story it is because the author wants to show the reader that the character's life is boring and meaningless before the plot's inciting incident. I can absolutely see why that might be considered an important detail about the character, but keep in mind if it's boring and meaningless to the character, it's boring and meaningless to your audience.
You know how I said earlier that writing tips should never be hard and fast rules? Well this is in regards to that Show Don't Tell rule, and it's an example of TOO MUCH showing lol
It is possible to do a daily grind in an interesting way, but only if you include a Shake Up right away. And you have to look at the 3 questions a little bit differently.
So for example:
Castiel POV, and he works in an office. His daily routine is to always get up at the same time every day, he goes for his run, he grooms himself, he has his breakfast, he goes to work and talks to Kelly about how Jack's doing in kindergarten for a few minutes before going into his office. Adler comes in to be a prick, Castiel hates him for it, and then he does his reports, has lunch hiding in a corner of the lunch room so that his co-workers will leave him alone, he does more reporting, leaves an hour after his shift technically ends, goes home to a lonely apartment that maybe includes a pet who is the only being that shows him affection, has an unsatisfying dinner of leftover takeout while watching a mindless reality tv show, then he goes to bed.
Ugh.
BORING.
Which, yeah I get it, the point is that his life is boring. But now the story is too, and I've clicked the back button before I can see how exciting it's capable of getting.
Question 1, does your character need to know this?: No. He knows. Poor thing definitely already knows.
Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Yes, but...
Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: Yes, but new question for ya:
Optional Question 4, why does this need to be separate from your plot's inciting incident? The answer to this 4th question is usually that it doesn't.
Chapter 2 of this type of beginning usually shows the shake up of Castiel's day. My advice is to start with the shakeup, and sprinkle in the details of what you would have put into chapter 1 to show the contrast. It's far more interesting to learn how boring Castiel's day is by starting with the shake up.
So, same scenario:
Castiel's alarm doesn't go off for some reason, OH NO HIS ROUTINE IS SHAKEN UP! You're explaining his routine while also stressing him the fuck out because he has to rush, or skip something that he normally needs to do. Action! Interesting! He gets to work late, and has to miss his conversation with Kelly about Jack because she's telling him that Adler's already in his office being a prick because Castiel isn't there waiting for him like he always is. Oh shit, he's pissing off his asshole boss! Conflict! He's so flustered by the shakeups that he misses something on his report, and he gets a call from that new marketing guy Dean Winchester who asks if they can have a meeting about it when Castiel normally takes his lunch. BAM! MEET CUTE OPPORTUNITY! While Castiel is getting all flustered by how pretty Dean is while they talk about TPS reports, he can reflect on how this is both better and worse than hiding from his co-workers in the corner of the lunch room. The rest of the day after that meeting he's thinking about how weird this day is, he still goes home an hour late, he talks to his pet about his weird day when he gets home, and maybe he still eats leftover takeout, but he's not paying attention to the reality tv show because holy shit he wants to count Dean's freckles.
In this example, you're Telling the audience about Castiel's normal routine instead of Showing them. But since it's during a plot heavy chapter, it works!
Lemme see if I can TL:DR this...
As you're reading, ask yourself who needs to know this information, why do they need to know this information, and why is it important for this information to be included early instead of later?
If the answer to any of those questions boils down to "this is backstory" instead of "this kicks off the plot", then you've started too early.
I hope this helps? I'm always nervous about giving writing advice because so much of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm just feeling around in the dark. And I definitely do not ever want to hurt an author's feelings, because this hobby is so fucking hard, and we're all fragile. Even authors who welcome con-crit with open arms will have a weak point that they're unaware of that might get poked wrong and cause a crack, ya know?
I hope anyone who gets this far who might see their own works reflected in my examples understands that I have a lot of respect for their ability to put their work out into the world, and I want them to keep doing it. We're here to have fun, okay? Okay. I love y'all 💜
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ot3 · 3 years
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i watched red vs blue: zero with my dear friends today and i was asked to “post” my “thoughts” on the subject. Please do not click this readmore unless, for some reason, you want to read three thousand words on the subject of red vs blue: zero critical analysis. i highly doubt that’s the reason anyone is following me, but hey. 
anyway. here you have it. 
Here are my opinions on RVB0 as someone who has quite literally no nostalgia for any older RVB content. I’ve seen seasons 1-13 once and bits and pieces of it more than once here and there, but I only saw it for the first time within the past couple of months. I’ve literally never seen any other RT/AH content. I can name a few people who worked on OG Red vs. Blue but other than Mounty Oum I have NO idea who is responsible for what, really, or what anything else they’ve ever worked on is, or whether or not they’re awful people. I know even less about the people making RVB0 - All I know is that the main writer is named Torrian but I honestly don’t even know if that’s a first name, a last name, or a moniker. All this to say; nothing about my criticism is rooted in any perceived slight against the franchise or branding by the new staff members, because I don’t know or care about any of it. In fact, I’m going to try and avoid any direct comparison between RVB0 and earlier seasons of RVB as a means of critique until the very end, where I’ll look at that relationship specifically.
So here is my opinion of RVB0 as it stands right now:
1. The Writing
Everything about RVB0 feels as if it was written by a first-time writer who hasn’t learned to kill his darlings. The narrative is both simultaneously far too full, leaving very little breathing room for character interaction, and oddly sparse, with a story that lacks any meaningful takeaway, interesting ideas, or genuine emotional connection. It also feels like it’s for a very much younger audience - I don’t mean this as a negative at all. I love tv for kids. I watch more TV for kids than I do for adults, mostly, but I think it’s important to address this because a lot of the time ‘this is for kids’ is used to act like you’re not allowed to critique a narrative thoroughly. It definitely changes the way you critique it, but the critique can still be in good faith.  I watched the entirety of RVB0 only after it was finished, in one sitting, and I was giving it my full attention, essentially like it was a movie. I’m going to assume it was much better to watch in chunks, because as it stood, there was literally no time built into the narrative to process the events that had just transpired, or try and predict what events might be coming in the future. When there’s no time to think about the narrative as you’re watching it, the narrative ends up as being something that happens to the audience, not something they engage with. It’s like the difference between taking notes during a lecture or just sitting and listening. If you’re making no attempt to actively process what’s happening, it doesn’t stick in your mind well. I found myself struggling to recall the events and explanations that had immediately transpired because as soon as one thing had happened, another thing was already happening, and it was like a mental juggling act to try and figure out which information was important enough to dwell on in the time we were given to dwell on it.
Which brings me to another point - pacing. Every event in the show, whether a character moment, a plot moment, or a fight scene, felt like it was supposed to land with almost the exact same amount of emotional weight. It all felt like The Most Important Thing that had Yet Happened. And I understand that this is done as an attempt to squeeze as much as possible out of a rather short runtime, but it fundamentally fails. When everything is the most important thing happening, it all fades into static. That’s what most of 0’s narrative was to me: static. It’s only been a few hours since I watched it but I had to go step by step and type out all of the story beats I could remember and run it by my friends who are much more enthusiastic RVB fans than I am to make sure I hadn’t missed or forgotten anything. I hadn’t, apparently, but the fact that my takeaway from the show was pretty accurate and also disappointingly lackluster says a lot. Strangely enough, the most interesting thing the show alluded to - a holo echo, or whatever the term they used was - was one of the things least extrapolated upon in the show’s incredibly bulky exposition. Benefit of the doubt says that’s something they’ll explore in future seasons (are they getting more? Is that planned? I just realized I don’t actually know.)
And bulky it was! I have quite honestly never seen such flagrant disregard for the rule of “show, don’t tell.” There was not a single ounce of subtlety or implication involved in the storytelling of RVB0. Something was either told to you explicitly, or almost entirely absent from the narrative. Essentially zilch in between. We are told the dynamic the characters have with each other, and their personality pros and cons are listed for us conveniently by Carolina. The plot develops in exposition dumps. This is partially due to the series’ short runtime, but is also very much a result of how that runtime was then used by the writers. They sacrificed a massive chunk of their show for the sake of cramming in a ton of fight scenes, and if they wanted to keep all of those fight scenes, it would have been necessary to pare down their story and characters proportionally in comparison, but they didn’t do that either. They wanted to have it both ways and there simply wasn’t enough time for it. 
The story itself is… uninteresting. It plays out more like the flimsy premise of a video game quest rather than a piece of media to be meaningfully engaged with. RVB0 is I think something I would be pitched by a guy who thinks the MCU and BNHA are the best storytelling to come out of the past decade. It is nothing but tropes. And I hate having to use this as an insult! I love tropes. The worst thing about RVB0 is that nothing it does is wholly unforgivable in its own right. Hunter x Hunter, a phenomenal shonen, is notoriously filled with pages upon pages of detailed exposition and explanations of things, and I absolutely love it. Leverage, my favorite TV show of all time, is literally nothing but a five man band who has to learn to work as a team while seemingly systematically hitting a checklist of every relevant trope in the book. Pacific Rim is an incredibly straightforward good guys vs giant monsters blockbuster to show off some cool fight scenes such as a big robot cutting an alien in half with a giant sword, and it’s some of the most fun I ever have watching a movie. Something being derivative, clunky, poorly executed in some specific areas, narratively weak, or any single one of these flaws, is perfectly fine assuming it’s done with the intention and care that’s necessary to make the good parts shine more. I’ll forgive literally any crime a piece of media commits as long as it’s interesting and/or enjoyable to consume. RVB0 is not that. I’m not sure what the main point of RVB0 was supposed to be, because it seemingly succeeds at nothing. It has absolutely nothing new or innovative to justify its lack of concern for traditional storytelling conventions. Based solely on the amount of screentime things were given, I’d be inclined to say the narrative existed mostly to give flimsy pretense for the fight scenes, but that’s an entire other can of worms.
2. The Visuals + Fights
I have no qualms with things that are all style and no substance. Sometimes you just want to see pretty colors moving on the screen for a while or watch some cool bad guys and monsters or whatever get punched. RVB0 was not this either. The show fundamentally lacked a coherent aesthetic vision. Much of the show had a rather generic sci-fi feel to it with the biggest standouts to this being the very noir looking cityscape, which my friends and I all immediately joked looked like something from a batman game, or the temple, which my friends and I all immediately joked looked like a world of warcraft raid. They were obviously attempting to get variety in their environment design, which I appreciate, but they did this without having a coherent enough visual language to feel like it was all part of the same world. In general, there was also just a lack of visual clarity or strong shots. The value range in any given scene was poor, the compositions and framing were functional at best, and the character animation was unpleasantly exaggerated. It just doesn’t really look that good beyond fancy rendering techniques.
The fight scenes are their entire own beast. Since ‘FIGHT SCENE’ is the largest single category of scenes in the show, they definitely feel worth looking at with a genuine critical eye. Or, at least, I’d like to, but honestly half the time I found myself almost unable to look at them. The camera is rarely still long enough to really enjoy what you’re watching - tracking the motion of the character AND the camera at such constant breakneck high speeds left little time to appreciate any nuances that might have been present in the choreography or character animation. I tried, believe me, I really did, but the fight scenes leave one with the same sort of dizzy convoluted spectacle as a Michael Bay transformers movie. They also really lacked the impact fight scenes are supposed to have.
It’s hard to have a good, memorable fight scene without it doing one of three things: 1. Showing off innovative or creative fighting styles and choreography 2. Making use of the fight’s setting or environment in an engaging and visually interesting way or 3. Further exploring a character’s personality or actions by the way they fight. It’s also hard to do one of these things on its own without at least touching a bit on the other two. For the most part, I find RVB0’s fight scenes fail to do this. Other than rather surface level insubstantial factors, there was little to visually distinguish any of RVB0’s fight scenes from each other. Not only did I find a lot of them difficult to watch and unappealing, I found them all difficult to watch and unappealing in an almost identical way. They felt incredibly interchangeable and very generic. If you could take a fight scene and change the location it was set and also change which characters were participating and have very little change, it’s probably not a good fight scene. 
I think “generic” is really just the defining word of RVB0 and I think that’s also why it falls short in the humor department  as well.
3. The Comedy
Funny shit is hard to write and humor is also incredibly subjective but I definitely got almost no laughs out of RVB0. I think a total of three. By far the best joke was Carolina having a cast on top of her armor, which, I must stress, is an incredibly funny gag and I love it. But overall I think the humor fell short because it felt like it was tacked on more than a natural and intentional part of this world and these characters. A lot of the jokes felt like they were just thrown in wherever they’d fit, without any build up to punchlines and with little regard for what sort of joke each character would make. Like, there was some, obviously Raymond’s sense of humor had the most character to it, but the character-oriented humor still felt very weak. When focusing on character-driven humor, there’s a LOT you can establish about characters based on what sort of jokes they choose to make, who they’re picking as the punchlines of these jokes, and who their in-universe audience for the jokes is. In RVB0, the jokes all felt very immersion-breaking and self aware, directed wholly towards the audience rather than occurring as a natural result of interplay between the characters. This is partially due to how lackluster the character writing was overall, and the previously stated tight timing, but also definitely due to a lack of a real understanding about what makes a joke land. 
A rule of thumb I personally hold for comedy is that, when push comes to shove, more specific is always going to be more funny. The example I gave when trying to explain this was this:
saying two characters had awkward sex in a movie theater: funny
saying two characters had an awkward handjob in a cinemark: even funnier
saying two characters spent 54 minutes of 11:14's 1:26 runtime trying out some uncomfortably-angled hand stuff in the back of a dilapidated cinemark that lost funding halfway through retrofitting into a dinner theater: the funniest
The more specific a joke is, the more it relies on an in-depth understanding of the characters and world you’re dealing with and the more ‘realistic’ it feels within the context of your media. Especially with this kind of humor. When you’re joking with your friends, you don’t go for stock-humor that could be pulled out of a joke book, you go for the specific. You aim for the weak spots. If a set of jokes could be blindly transplanted into another world, onto another cast of characters, then it’s far too generic to be truly funny or memorable. I don’t think there’s a single joke in RVB0 where the humor of it hinged upon the characters or the setting.
Then there’s the issue of situational comedy and physical comedy. This is really where the humor being ‘tacked on’ shows the most. Once again, part of what makes actually solid comedy land properly is it feeling like a natural result of the world you have established. Real life is absurd and comical situations can be found even in the midst of some pretty grim context, and that’s why black comedy is successful, and why comedy shows are allowed to dip into heavier subject matter from time to time, or why dramas often search for levity in humor. It’s a natural part of being human to find humor in almost any situation. The key thing, though, once again, is finding it in the situation. Many of RVB0’s attempts at humor, once again, feel like they would be the exact same jokes when stripped from their context, and that’s almost never good. A pretty fundamental concept in both storytelling in general but particularly comedy writing is ‘setup and payoff’. No joke in RVB0 is a reward for a seemingly innocuous event in an earlier scene or for an overlooked piece of environmental design. The jokes pop in when there’s time for them in between all the exposition and fighting, and are gone as soon as they’re done. There’s no long term, underlying comedic throughline to give any sense of coherence or intent to the sense of humor the show is trying to establish. Every joke is an isolated one-off quip or one-liner, and it fails to engage the audience in a meaningful way.
All together, each individual component of RVB0 feels like it was conjured up independently, without any concern to how it interacted with the larger product they were creating. And I think this is really where it all falls apart. RVB0 feels criminally generic in a way reminiscent of mass-market media which at least has the luxury of attributing these flaws, this complete and total watering down of anything unique, to heavy oversight and large teams with competing visions. But I don’t think that’s the case for RVB0. I don’t know much about what the pipeline is like for this show, but I feel like the fundamental problem it suffers from is a lack of heart.
In comparison to Red vs. Blue
Let's face it. This is a terrible successor to Red vs. Blue. I wouldn’t care if NONE of the old characters were in it - that’s not my problem. I haven’t seen past season 13 because from what I heard the show already jumped the shark a bit and then some. That’s not what makes it a poor follow up. What makes it a bad successor is that it fundamentally lacks any of the aspects of the OG RVB that made it unique or appealing at all. I find myself wondering what Torrian is trying to say with RVB0 and quite literally the only answer I find myself falling back onto is that he isn’t trying to say anything at all. Regardless of what you feel about the original RVB, it undeniably had things to say. The opening “why are we here” speech does an excellent job at establishing that this is a show intended to poke fun at the misery of bureaucracy and subservience to nonsensical systems, not just in the context of military life, but in a very broad-strokes way almost any middle-class worker can relate to. At the end of the day, fiction is at its best when it resonates with some aspect of its audience’s life. I know instantly which parts of the original Red vs Blue I’m supposed to relate to. I can’t say anything even close to that about 0.
RVB is an absurdist parody that heavily satirizes aspects of the military and life as a low-on-the-food-chain worker in general that almost it’s entire target audience will be familiar with. The most significant draw of the show to me was how the dialogue felt like listening to my friends bicker with each other in our group chats. It required no effort for me to connect with and although the narrative never outright looked to the camera and explained ‘we are critiquing the military’s stupid red tape and self-fullfilling eternal conflict’ they didn’t need to, because the writing trusted itself and its audience enough to believe this could be conveyed. It is, in a way, the complete antithesis to the badass superhero macho military man protagonist that we all know so well. RVB was saying something, and it was saying it in a rather novel format.
Nothing about RVB0 is novel. Nothing about RVB0 says anything. Nothing about it compels me to relate to any of these characters or their situations. RVB0 doesn’t feel like absurdism, or satire. RVB0 feels like it is, completely uncritically, the exact media that RVB itself was riffing off of. Both RVB0 and RVB when you watch them give you the feeling that what you’re seeing here is kids on a playground larping with toy soldiers. It’s all ridiculous and over the top cliche stupid garbage where each side is trying to one-up the other. The critical difference is, in RVB, we’re supposed to look at this and laugh at how ridiculous this is. In RVB0 we’re supposed to unironically think this is all pretty badass. 
The PFL arc of the original RVB existed to show us that setting up an elite team of supersoldiers with special powers was something done in bad faith, with poor outcomes, that left everyone involved either cruel, damaged, or dead. It was a bad thing. And what we’re seeing in RVB0 is the same premise, except, this time it’s good. We’re supposed to root for this format. RVB0 feels much more like a demo reel, cutscenes from a video game that doesn’t exist, or a shonen anime fanboy’s journal scribbling than it feels like a piece of media with any objective value in any area.  In every area that RVB was anti-establishment, RVB0 is pure undiluted establishment through and through.  
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willowiswriting · 3 years
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Worldbuilding without Infodumping!
This might be an obvious thing, but it only just occurred to me consciously, so I thought I would share! Basically, this is about how to “show don’t tell” your worldbuilding. (Told from a fantasy perspective, but I’m sure this could be adapted for sci-fi too!)
Picture this: your character walks into a new kingdom for the first time. Perhaps they’re afraid, excited, or simply curious. My first-draft instinct immediately draws me to describe the big-picture stuff: the color of buildings, any notable architecture, the volume of people milling about, or the opulent castle that towers over the city.
Those are all important things, for sure, but it’s important to consider smaller details, too. And these smaller details are the key to implying a TON of information to your reader without unloading on them or making your MC have a 13-minute monologue condensed into thirty seconds. Here are a couple ideas and details for you to consider, grouped by context:
War/Politics
A significant number of men (or other demographic, depending on culture) are gone due to being conscripted. 
A poster advertising monetary gain, housing, or other familial care in exchange for a few years of military service. A character may notice that the poorer areas look quite nice, but are mostly empty.
Related, there is propaganda being spoken, shouted, or posted visibly. Propaganda can be for or against a ruler, another country, or a certain nobleperson.
there are more guards (or fewer guards!) than a character is used to seeing in town. This can inform the severity and length of the war, depending on how the observation is worded.
What kind of armor are the guards wearing? This can inform the types of materials the kingdom has easy access to. Also worth noting if the guards appear to be wearing mismatched, or an “older” and “newer” model of armor. Is the newer armor cheap-looking? Was it made to be worn by guard captains, or hundreds of soldiers in a trench? Was it made well enough to withstand that? Obviously, the more familiar with armor quality your character is, the more you can get away with dumping here. 
More obviously, but still worth noting, what’s the structure of the kingdom like? Are there many entrances? Are there walls? Does the kingdom sit on the land strategically? These things can all be noted almost offhandedly, while giving your reader more context to consider.
Money/Distribution of Goods
Does your character notice a large amount of amenities such as restaurants, bars, gardens, etc? This implies the citizens of this area have enough free time to enjoy the city at their leisure. If there is a noticeable lack of this type of thing (with the possible exception of late-night bars and restaurants) it almost certainly means the area is poorer, and thus, spends more time working.
If there is a lack of leisure activities AND a lot of people milling about, it is likely that there are not enough jobs to go around. No one has much to do, but it’s not profitable to build anything for them because they have no money to spend.
It may be worth thinking about the relationship dynamic between money and goods/services. Perhaps the people here have been wealthy for a long time, and they value their free time. In this kingdom, that means efficiently-build roadways, lots of carriages, and a healthy distribution of things to do. What would the kingdom look like if they were newly wealthy, or if they had just lost everything, or if they had always been poor?
Consider the relationship dynamic between the rich (or even middle class) and the poor. Is there tension?
Culture
Are there any visible religious artifacts or decorations? Do people worship/pray in public? Are there any altars or obviously religious buildings?
What other notable décor is there? Is it brightly colored? Muted? This will inform whether the kingdom has access to dyes and whether they are in a period where they are concerned with self-expression.
Related, is the kingdom experiencing a renaissance? This usually happens when one culture is newly exposed to another during a time of relative peace (i.e. a new trade contract, or a new port opening), giving them both fresh new ideas. Art, writing, and music become experimentative and plentiful.
Perhaps your character hears someone humming or singing a song. Is the tune distinctive? What is the song about?
How are the shops set up? All bulked up near entrances? It may be a rest stop for travelers. Open-air central market? Perhaps the kingdom is a bit out of the way, so they don’t get people travelling through as much as they get tourists.
Important: don’t forget children! I always seem to forget random kids exist when I’m writing, but it’s important to notice whether they’re there or not. It’s also important to notice what they’re doing. Their games are informed by their culture, and the things they say and do are vital to understanding what the people closest to them believe.
This is by no means a master list, and again, for some people this may come naturally, but I am awful at being specific/fleshing things out, and oftentimes I realize it’s because I’m glossing over details that would make my setting feel distinctive and rich. I hope it helps you come up with some interesting ways to flesh out your settings!
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thefrostqueen · 3 years
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Hanyo no Yashahime
Season 1 Review
It’s review time
Hanyo no Yashahime is the sequel to the classic anime InuYasha, in which a teen from present day travels back to Feudal Japan where demons and magic are very much a reality. The sequel follows the children of the main characters from InuYasha and puts them on their own adventure to save the world.
Note: All opinions are my own. This is a critical review of entertainment media, and will include criticism. If you do not agree, then simply ignore.
The Plot
Early on, it was established that Towa and company would seek out the dream butterfly and get back Setsuna’s dreams/sleep. Treekyo told them they would have to defeat Sesshomaru and Kirinmaru. After many episodes, this plot line was unimportant and almost discarded. Passing and fleeting, the true motive of the girls quest is sporadic and mentioned sparingly, and for many episodes it seemed they were only there to slay high level demons.
Mysteries and questions were extremely abundant and established early on, and as the episodes went by, it was clear they wouldn’t be answered. At least this season. One thing the fandom has noticed is how many questions there are, and how in some crazy way sunrise managed to withhold all answers and key plot points from the plot for so long. Treekyo? Not that important apparently. Her prophecy? Never mentioned again. The dream butterfly? Seen not explained. It’s connection to Kirinmaru and Zero? Contradicted in the show. InuYasha and Kagome? Just as forgotten as Moroha when there is a fight.
The pacing of this show was all over the place and inconsistent, providing too much focus on filler in some episodes and not enough plot in others. And in the episodes where we got to come back to the main story, we would get info dumps. I mentioned in my mid-season review how info dumps are cheap in the scheme of writing and plot outline, and I’ll say it again because I was surprised as the episodes went on how inconsistent everything was getting.
Now, don’t get me wrong, InuYasha had lots of fillers too, but unlike Yashahime, they established a lot of exposition and plot within the first 12 episodes; we got the main characters and their ambitions/conflicts, the main villain, the dual antagonist (Sesshomaru, at least he was a villain for a bit anyway) and the basics of the magic system was established and explained. Yashahime did set up the character’s goals, but the character’s quickly seemed to forget them, while in InuYasha their goal of finding the jewel shards was always at the forefront of the majority of the episodes. The main villain was supposedly Kirinmaru (his careless attitude throughout most of the show did not provide the antagonistic “high stakes”) and he sent demons to battle the girls, but the girls were so overpowered and perfected their powers so quickly that the demons provided no real challenge or added any stakes or drama.
The ability/powers of characters were retconned. This was odd and not something I expected. One of the most notable examples is how certain abilities are apparently genetic and inherited through dna instead of through the swords that harbored them like the original series established. An example is Moroha’s “Crimson Backlash Wave” where it mimics the ability Tessaiga has where it sends an opponent’s own demonic attack right back at them, destroying them with their own demonic energy. Moroha does not use Tessaiga, she uses Kurikaramaru. The backlash wave was said to be unique to Tessaiga, and only able to be used with Tessaiga, but that lore was weirdly chosen to be retconned. It is unclear wether or not this will be expanded upon in season 2.
In episode 19 of Yashahime, there was blatant homophobia and transphobia. No excuse, there was. InuYasha also had homophobic and transphobic characters. Yashahime could have changed that, but it perpetuated that instead, and it was extremely disappointing. In episode 20, Shiori, a beloved character from the original series, is shown changing into her human form during a solar eclipse. Yashahime chose to whitewash the character by lightening her dark skin. In InuYasha, several characters had darker skin, like InuYasha himself, and when he turned into his human form, his skin would stay the same. There is no excuse for this. Both of these episodes blighted Yashahime’s potential to step away from those things, but it continued to do it instead.
The final episode of the show was fast and full of unanswered questions. The dream butterfly was still not explained, Rin did not wake up, InuYasha and Kagome were not even mentioned, let alone released, and Kirinmaru parented Towa and Setsuna better than their own father. Zero flees, using spider silk (she strangely has many parallels with Naraku, even down to spider imagery) and sets herself up to be the main villain. And Setsuna dies, and Sesshomaru doesn’t seem that worried at all. It was interesting however to see Kirinmaru fight the girls, and he basically began teaching them about their moves and powers. Another interesting aspect was how Sesshomaru is apparently, potentially, time traveling. He shows up and hands Towa the Tensiaga, and the rain stops, and when she takes it, the rain starts again. Towa looks up and it is shown Sesshomaru has vanished instantaneously.
The Characters
Towa Higurashi: In the first two episodes, Towa was portrayed as a tomboy who kicked ass and cared for her family. She was confident and had ambition. Once she came to the feudal era however, her entire personality changed. Her surroundings and the people/beings she met were indeed something she had never encountered, but she suddenly became a moralist, and cautioned Setsuna and Moroha to never fight, despite she herself being notorious in modern day for fighting bullies and bad people. It is almost like her fighting persona in modern day had never happened. Overall, it felt her character was overly gullible, and though she meant well, her sudden drop from “school fighter” to “naive moralist” was odd and seemed to contradict the character they set up in the first three episodes.
Setsuna: Like father like daughter, Setsuna retains her father’s most iconic personality traits, and is focused on her ambitions and remains cautious around people and demons alike. She was, perhaps, the one out of the three princesses to have the most backstory and character focus (despite Towa being the main character) The mystery of her connection with the dream butterfly was genuinely interesting, though it did feel like it dragged on for too long in certain aspects (some lore even felt contradicted) Writing wise, Setsuna felt the most consistently written character of the three girls, both in personality and in development.
Moroha: The perfect mix of her parents, Moroha has had little to few familial relationships and friendships in her life. Her goal of earning money seemed petty at first, but when Moroha finally got her own episode, it was revealed to have a deeper meaning. That episode highlighted Moroha’s strength and perseverance. What was a poor move on behalf of Yashahime’s writers was the strange choice to constantly omit Moroha from vital fights (and even basic fights) It happened pretty much every time, and Moroha was never around for key information about her parents or their quest. It is unclear why her being there for the information would be a bad thing. Her relationship with Towa and Setsuna was shallow, and their bonding had no real emotional impact. In fact, Towa and Setsuna openly mention how they need her for her abilities, not because they like her. The one episode they tried to make them bond fell flat due to the lack of build up and relationship development.
Conclusion
Hanyo no Yashahime was inconsistent and fell flat with several character relationships and motivations. Plot point execution was sporadic and lacked emotional depth and coherent understanding, leaving viewers more confused than awed. Characters from InuYasha were out of character and felt hollow; some of them were not even involved as much as one would think and one didn’t even show up. Kirinmaru is perhaps the most interesting new character to come out of the series, and his respect for the Great Dog Demon has led him to enter a deal with Sesshomaru, and even protect the three princesses. This contradicts several actions he took, and makes a compelling mystery in certain aspects. In conclusion, the show felt rushed and lacked emotional and character depth, and presented several problematic and harmful themes.
Note: Again, all opinions are my own. You are free to comment, but please be respectful.
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aliensunflower-fics · 4 years
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Corruption: A Prompt
[ Hey guys sorry for the sudden extreme bout of inactivity! I moved to europe and its been really rough on me! Ive been sleeping and dealing with a whole new language but I hope to be able to write more soon! ]
So, ive seen several Miraculous Ladybug fans suggest the idea that due to the way Gabriel is using the miraculous he is actually corrupting himself hence why his behaviour at the begining of the series toward Adrien is so vastly different then the recent seasons. This gave me a wickedly evil idea. What if, using the miraculous the way he is ISN’T just corrupting Gabriel but also corrupting everyone whos been akumatized.
Everytime someone gets possessed by the power of Hawkmoth’s akumas they give in to their deepest darkest desire for power, even if their intentions are good the fact of the matter is they are giving over their will to Hawkmoth in exchange for power and so even when the item is broken, even when Ladybug shout’s “miraculous ladybug” their’s just this tiny little bit of corruption that remains within.
It’s hardly noticeable for those only akumatized once or twice, for a week or so AFTER the innitial akumatization they are more easily angered more jumpy and paranoid but then it passes and the corruption eventually leaves. But the more you get akumatized the more you get... Corrupted. Slowly it builds within you, causing you to be a little quicker to anger, a little more envious, more paranoid, entitled, demanding, pushy, it feeds on those negative feelings growing you can fight it of course by being aware by not indulging in those negative thoughts because if you do someone who’s only be akumatized even once or twice can start to become twisted by the corruption. Perhaps Marinette see’s it in the people who get akumatized several times, or even some of the friends she’s made she doesn’t understand the cause of the change but she notices that when shes near them she feels this uncomfortable buzz in her head and this strange sense of something being out of balance even if she can’t understand it.
Enter: One Liar Rossi.
Lila, is naturally quick to be akumatized, her lies and self importance make her a perfect target to akuma’s and Hawkmoth is fine using the same girl over and over again because her hate for Ladybug makes for some truly disasterous akumas. Its simple bussiness really, nothing personal. Nooroo tries to warn Gabriel of course he does! But why would he listen now? So now Lila has a fair bit of corruption within her, and she keeps feeding it, every time shes jealous or worried about her lies coming to light, every time she thinks of Adrien as an object, or her new ‘friends’ as tools she feeds that little bit of corruption and each akumatization ads to it. Until its not so little.
At first the impact to her behaviour is harder to notice, shes a bit more ruthless with Marinette, a bit clingier to Adrien, a bit pushier with her lies and demands, but then it starts escalating, Adrien gets visible nail marks in his skin and she starts to scare him with how she looks at him, Marinette gets pushed down the stairs and breaks an arm, Lila manipulates the class with fear and starts getting others to feed their own corruption. Hawkmoth meanwhile is noticing that even when he sends out an akuma for someone else they are sometimes drawn to Lila who is mildly upset at best.
But it only continues to grow and fester, Marinette notices that the buzzing she would sometimes feel in her head around certain people is like full blown static when she’s around Lila it’s so distracting and bad that when one day Lila is ‘confronting’ the girl about some lie, Marinette suddenly holds her head and collaspes causing Adrien to go full blown crazy panic. The blonde feels crazy insane protective about Marinette following the incident Plagg tells him its about time his ‘Instincts’ kick in citing that it only took so long because Adrien is blind and apparently needed to ‘see the threat with his own eyes’ but refuses to elaborate further so Adrien just assumes Plagg is talking about how Adrien had been away at fashion week during the stair incident and not that it has to do with his being Chat Noir and his very good FRIEND being oh so similar to Ladybug.
As Lila continues to grow worse she starts to behave oddly to even the class, she becomes paranoid anyone who shows even a little doubt causes her to panic she thinks they ‘know’ about her working with Hawkmoth and her lies. She goes from happy to angry if even the smallest thing is done to upset her, poor Rose finds her phone smashed against a wall and coffee dumped on her after she ignores Lila to talk with Juleka instead, suprising everyone it was again Lila who got akumatized instead of Rose. Lila can no longer control her lies, instead they spew out of her begging for attention and power and fame, it gets to the point where even Alya is questioning it but to afraid to speak up for fear of how Lila will react.
In fact everyone is scared of Lila now. They don’t know when she’ll snap, what will set her off next, their forced to play nice with her just because their scared of what she will do next. And Gabriel is even scared to akumatize the girl because several of her akumatizations have resulted in Ladybug being forced to carry Adrien across Paris, at this point Gabriel would be fine with his son marrying the heroin just to thank her for how often she’s had to keep the blonde safe. Likewise Marinette has found herself in Chat Noir’s arms more times then she can count all because she rolled her eyes at one of Lila’s claims. Or dared to stutter out a thank you to Adrien for complimenting her, Marinette is very torn because on one hand ever sense Adrien started acting as her knight shes fallen even harder for him, but lately the strange soft looks Chat Noir shoots her and how he frets over her safety is making her heart feel dizzy [Adrien meanwhile doesnt know whats going on only that he feels like if anything bad were to happen to Marinette he would kill everyone in this room and then himself]. Hawkmoth soon notices however that even when he sends akumas to the other side of paris the dark butterflies refuse him and go to Lila, soon the girl is being akumatized even when she’s perfectly fine. And her claims of having ‘extreme empathy that makes her more sensitive then others’ is suddenly not covering it.
People are muttering that the itaian might be a physchopath or mentally troubled. Bustier and Damocles eventually have no choice after ignoring it for so long. They call on Lila’s mother [after finding the real number through a rather complex search] and inform the woman about everything. In the end Hawkmoth cant send out akumas for 2 months for fear of them targeting Adrien, and Lila ends up going home to Italy to attend a private school for troubled youth and meeting with a professional physchologist.
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Thoughts/Observations on Joker, part 1
AKA I Spent 7 Hours on This, I Will Die if it Gets Less Than Three Notes
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I could rave for hours about this movie’s cinematography. Literal hours.
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Nobody talks enough about Arthur’s full-fledged dedication to his clown craft. Man is working 60+ hours a week and does not break a sweat. I also fucking love this clowny face he pulls here. The first shot we see of Arthur in full. Holy shit is it beautiful. God bless Joaquin Phoenix.
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These two shots together are incredibly important to me. In a split-second we see Arthur’s disbelief that he cannot control the whirlwind of emotions inside of his own head, not even being able to produce a smile, and then his resignation because it’s just another day. Heartbreaking.
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Awwww shiiiiit
Gotham City is such a dump but I’d be bullshitting myself if I said I didn’t love the grimy aesthetic of it. It’s technicolor trash.
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Arthur loves his job so much. He genuinely enjoys being Carnival. That hurts a lot to think about in hindsight.
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This man just got his ass handed to him and he is STILL SPRAYING THE FAKE FLOWER ON HIS VEST
YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT DEDICATION
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This opening card is so imposing. Not only does it take up the entire screen to the point of running off the edges, but it’s shielding Arthur from view. Arthur is invisible in light of Joker in Arthur’s own movie.
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I screenshotted this by accident but I felt a need to put it here because he’s just so adorable. Even right before an episode.
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E y e s s s s s
E Y E S S S S S
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I desperately want to know what got Arthur sent to Arkham the first time. A suicide attempt? A public breakdown? I really want fanfics of it.
There’s a really, really good fanfiction on AO3 by Arthur_Fleck about Arthur slowly recovering and meeting a girl called In the Major and Minor Arcana
I highly, highly recommend it
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Okay. Joaquin’s immersion into his characters -- all of them -- is absolutely incredible. But Arthur is just ... off the charts, man. No two of his characters are the same and he embeds himself so deeply in their skin, but Joaquin buried himself so deeply into Arthur’s brain that it is so hard for me to see any of Joaquin at all. God, he’s incredible and this shot makes me emotional because this just is Arthur.
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ARTHUR WOULD BE A GREAT DAD AND I DO NOT ACCEPT ARGUMENTS
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It really speaks to how shitty Gotham is that this man is having a full-fledged screaming/laughing breakdown on the bus and nobody is batting an eye
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I adore how the cinematography paints Arthur as so small to his own environment. He’s a speck of dust. A fleck.
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Babie is wincing :((((
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I have been trying to figure out the layout of this apartment for months and my inability to, even with a floor plan, is driving me insane
I just found out that the Budweiser beer jingle Here Comes the King is on the soundtrack and plays when Arthur comes home and that made me go feral
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I  A M  M U R R A Y , K I N G  O F  A S S H O L E S
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It is second nature for me to do this stupid pose every time I watch this scene
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Arthur blending into the crowd here makes me ... so happy. He looks so happy.
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This is Arthur’s best laugh of the movie, fuck you. I am incredulous that I was the only person laughing when I saw this in the theater opening night.
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This is one of the few moments I really see Joaquin shine through Arthur. I don’t know why, but this lighting and his voice and his intensity gives me visceral flashbacks to watching a little boy Joaquin in Parenthood. God, I love this man.
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It really is a testament to Penny’s (lack of) parenting that Arthur is day dreaming about receiving affection and validation from a parent figure when his own mother is literally right there
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GOD DAMN THIS MAN IS GORGEOUS
But also big bruise :(
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Yes, I shall trust you, man named Randall smiling down at me in low angle light
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Why was Hoyt not informed that Arthur got his ass beat on the job? As Arthur’s employer he should’ve literally been the first person to know so he could make a note of it. Either he wasn’t told or he gave so little of a fuck that his consciousness astral projected to another plane of existence while he shoved the white powder down his throat and forgot Arthur existed at all.
Literally fuck Hoyt. I hate him even more that his office is the coolest shit in the world
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ARTHUR KNOWS THE CUSTOMER SERVICE SMILE
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Joaquin dislocated his knee in this scene, the poor boy
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I could write a full damn essay about why the misleading advertising of Sophie as a prominent character was the greatest twist of the whole movie. Literally I am still speechless how the movie did that.
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I am not kidding when I say my sister has this same color scheme in the bathroom of our house and realizing that made me werewolf
Also Arthur being the son Penny doesn’t deserve warms and breaks my heart
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The complete lack of reaction to Penny’s “Don’t you have to be funny to be a comedian” makes me laugh and cry internally
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This shot? Gorgeous. His face? Deadly. That jawline? Cutting diamonds. Hotel? Trivago.
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I really, really want a Joker 2, but at the same time I do not want a Joker 2 because Joaquin Phoenix has a baby who needs him now and he cannot be pulling shit like losing 52 lbs for a role
Also I REALLY need to discuss how much this brass ballet reminds me so heavily of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. Holy fuck, I got actually chills in the theater
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Like holy fuck
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And then this shot reminds me so heavily of the opening of Fedddy vs Jason with Freddy Krueger laughing over his newspaper collage of missing children. Holy fuck I love this cinematography.
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Guys. G - Guys, his name tag says Dr. Carnival, can you hear me  s o b b i n g
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This part is so Chaplinesque, the way he slides the gun into his coat again
These children look so afraid of him for dropping the gun and wowie, does that really hurt
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Was this asshole supposed to be modeled after Eric Trump? Because I get really douchebaggy Eric Trump vibes (minus the jacked teeth) from this ringleader
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I don’t have much to say here except I am in love with the way Artie’s hair sticks straight up in bottle curls when the clown wig slides off
Also if you decide it’s a good idea to mess with a man dressed as a clown laughing maniacally on the subway of one of the most dangerous cities in the world, you are asking him to shoot you and I will not feel sorry for you
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I will never not be in love with this image. I fell in love with it in the teaser trailer and almost went feral in the middle of the mall when I saw this was the poster they used to advertise the movie with. My friend described this movie as “chaos, beautified,” and nothing sums it up as well as this picture.
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JOAQUIN AND TODD MADE THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE UP AND I AM IN LOVE
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Hello, handsome
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thetypedwriter · 3 years
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Lore Book Review
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Lore Book Review by Alexandra Bracken 
Lore by Alexandra Bracken was one of 2021’s most anticipated YA novels and it's easy to see why. The plot summary itself is enough to pull you in with the intriguing concoction of calling it the combination of The Hunger Games and the Percy Jackson series. 
What’s not to love when you fuse the illicit danger of Katniss Everdeen with the mythological enchantment of Rick Riordan’s masterpiece?
Turns out, quite a lot unfortunately. 
Before I get into why this book didn’t live up to the insurmountable hype it built up, I’ll attempt to give a basic summary. The key word being attempt as a good portion of this novel’s plot was a mind boggling and convoluted mess. 
The book takes place in modern day New York which Bracken likes to remind you every other paragraph with small snippets about how the city that never sleeps smells like sewage and is yet still the best place on earth apparently. 
Don’t get me wrong, I love New York as much as the next person, but the pandering to the Big Apple got annoying after awhile. 
Within the cantankerous city lives a girl named Lore which we are introduced to by means of her kicking ass in an underground Chinese restaurant’s fighting ring. 
Pretty strong start. 
Lore’s world (and the reader’s frankly) is tipped upside down when Lore’s long lost childhood friend, Castor, reappears to warn her that he is looking for her. Terrified, Lore is then at first unwillingly thrust back into the world in which she was born-a world dominated by violence, bloodlines, and the Greek gods who are very much alive and out for vengeful retribution. 
In a very exposition-dump heavy conversation, we learn that Lore is the last of Perseous’ line with the rest of her family having been horrifically murdered, that a week long event called the Agon occurs every seven years in which the original nine Greek gods or their reincarnated selves become mortal for seven days, and that a series of killing often happen because if you kill a Greek god you then become that Greek god as well as inhabit their powers, abilities, and immortality. 
Well, until the next Agon that is. 
The currently reincarnated God by the name of Wrath is attempting to end the Agon by killing all the other Gods, but in order to do it he needs to wield a special weapon called the Aegis. 
Unfortunately, only the Perseides can wield this shield (for some reason) and thus, Wrath is out to get his hold on Lore as the last of her line so that he can bring this eons old competition to an end with himself as the sole victor and only remaining God. 
Confused?
I’d be surprised if you weren’t. 
Now, I love Greek mythology. I’ve read the classics and would say I’m fairly up to date on the stories, the legends, the gods, and the stories they represent. I’m not an expert, but I would say I’m  knowledgeable on who the major figures are and what they stood for. 
I genuinely think this book would have been miserable for anyone that didn’t know anything about Greek mythology.
 Bracken does a terrible job of explaining what the hell is happening at any given point, and she often throws out allusions and references to Greek mythology without bothering to explain a single shred of information about it. 
In addition, after this laughably and poorly explained world and plot at the beginning, it is almost never explained again. It’s brought up, as are names and titles and weapons and relationships, but it’s never explained in a way that’s feasibly understandable. 
At the beginning of the novel Bracken lists who all the important characters are, their bloodlines, and their titles.
 I soon figured out why, as every other sentence a name like Wrath or Reveler or Tidebringer or whoever was brought up, and it was impossible to keep track of so I didn’t even bother. 
Even Lore brings up that the names are ridiculous, which I appreciate, but the meta moment of clarity doesn't make it any better. 
Also, what Lore and her friends get up to over 90% of the novel is a muddled mass of bewilderment. 
Why do Lore and Castor and the others need to find Artemis? I don’t know, but sure, whatever, sounds good. Why was Lore the last of her line again? Oh yeah, right, okay, I guess. Wait, Castor died? Oh, he didn’t? Why not? Oh, we’re not going to explain it. Sure, sure. 
Throughout this entire novel, what the characters are doing and what is happening is almost impossible to follow with the way it's presented and the way Bracken developed her world. I think this was a really cool idea that had very poor execution. 
Points for the originality and the inclusion of Greek mythology, but all of the positives were taken away when that originality was flushed down the drain with a lack of explanation and logic. 
Lore very much reminded me of a shoot-em up, bang-em up action movie. Almost every other chapter was some sort of super intense, super climactic fight scene, chase, theft, break-in, etc. 
Now. I do think action scenes are hard to write and I think Bracken actually did an incredible job of writing action in a way that was entertaining and thrilling. 
However, when the action takes place every ten pages it gets really old, really quick. Towards the end, I downright started skimming the fight scenes, because they lacked so little depth and stakes and we had read so much action at the end point that it had lost all vigor and vitality. 
Continuing with the action movie metaphor, most action movies focus solely on the bright explosions and the crazy fight scenes as their selling point of the whole movie, often to the detriment of the characters, plot, and development. 
Now, some people like this. I am not these people. 
I find action movies boring as most of my enjoyment from consuming media comes from the characters and the developments they undergo. 
My biggest criticism with Lore, other than the astonishing storytelling, is by far the characters. I just...didn’t care. About any of them. 
Bracken tried to make Lore come across as a strong, opinionated, fierce, angry female character and while sometimes she succeeded, more often than not I found Lore temperamental, aggravating, impulsive, selfish, and shallow. 
Bracken very much invoked the tell-not-show strategy that makes any book hard to get through. While there were some decent moments of showing instead of just stating, more often than not, Bracken would tell us that Lore was strong by having other people say it or others calling her weak. 
I appreciated Bracken’s feminist agenda and how strongly Lore felt about gender inequality, even if it was a bit heavy-handed at times. Still, I did appreciate this inclusion of civil rights on this front, even if some of the circumstances to incite it were ridiculous or over the top. 
In addition, I hated that there was all this backstory that we were just told but not shown. Like in my last review of Wilder Girls, Lore suffers from an intrinsic failure of getting me onboard with these characters and their relationships by telling me how I should feel about them instead of exposing them through action. 
I was told:
Lore and Castor haven't seen each other for seven years, but my gosh, Castor is just the best and is so beautiful. Ensue obligatory YA romance. 
Lore has a best friend! Yeah. Her name is Iro. Here she is! Um. Okay. Why was this necessary?
Miles is just the coolest best friend ever. Like, look how cool and chill he is. How funny is it that he has no idea what’s happening? Really not funny at all. He was a useless character used to build empty stakes. 
  The list goes on and on, but Bracken will throw out some sort of fact or relationship and just expect the reader to go “Okay!” Which. I didn’t. On any of those occurrences. 
Often Bracken would do this in the use of flashbacks at the most inopportune times (during a fight scene, after someone was injured, right before a huge revelation, etc). These flashbacks were the worst. I do not care for adolescent Lore and child Lore was somehow even worse. 
The romance in this book, much like an action movie, is off to the side and really only there to fulfill the trope of having a romance. 
Lore and Castor are boring. I don’t know what else to say. Castor is too perfect to be likable and Lore is the opposite. Nothing about their romance was unique or well-crafted. 
The kiss between Van and Miles I also saw coming a hundred miles away. I also thought it was pointless as Van and Miles had known each for six days and had had maybe two conversations. So. No. I didn’t care at all about the romances. 
It actually made me laugh and scoff simultaneously at the end when Lore is looking at Van, Castor, Iro and Miles and smiles because she realizes that these people are her family. 
Ummm. Sorry?
Castor disappeared for seven years and you’ve been reunited for seven days. You’ve hated Van your whole life until this week. You also haven’t seen Iro in seven years and she tried to kill you at least twice in this book. Miles is...fine, but again useless. I don’t even know why Bracken included him except to make Lore worry about him which she only did about half of the time. 
Phew. 
I know this review has come across largely negative, so this might be surprising, but I didn’t hate it. It lacks substance and depth, but it was entertaining. 
Just like an action movie.
 If you want some hyped fights and a plot that really doesn't matter and characters that won’t stick with you, but a fast-paced narrative that keeps you on your toes nonetheless, then you would probably enjoy this. 
It’s like the equivalent of watching a James Bond movie or one of the millions of the Fast and Furious. Bracken tries to develop the characters, but at the end of the day, most of the story is made up of cool fights, magic, and weapons. If that’s your speed then you would probably really love Lore. 
Recommendation: Action, action, action. If you want some high intensity, get-your-blood-pumping enterprise then this is your novel. The writing is fluid, the adrenaline-inducing scenes are non-stop, and everything else falls to the backdrop of external fights and villainous monologues. If action is not your preferred genre, then your best left to get your Greek mythology needs from Percy Jackson or the Song of Achilles instead.  
Score: 6/10
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All That Was Fair: Arc I Commentary (Chapters 1-16)
I’m putting it below the cut to protect people who aren’t caught up from spoilers.
Here are some of my thoughts about arc I (don’t worry, it’s not that long ;) ).
-Jamie: Our sweet, oblivious baby has been very bad at communication, and angst could have been avoided if he just created some space for conversation! He gets so caught up in his own feelings all through the story (and there’s also the fact that he really doesn’t understand Claire yet) that the things he thinks are sometimes just wrong— even to the point of making him an unreliable narrator. No, it is not okay to send your love, even your friend, away without asking them if that’s what they want! With that being said... Jamie is going through some extreme emotional turmoil, as hopefully the chapter conveyed. He is so convinced that this is what she wants, and he is so blinded by his own grief that he’s not even trying to read her face/cannot see she doesn’t want to go. In this scene in my head, I imagine Claire making so many little protestations, little moves and about to speak, but Jamie doesn’t notice any of these. If I were really good, I would write this scene from Claire’s POV, but I’m lazy so I’m explaining that here. And similar to how I imagine things going down in canon, Jamie is straight up throwing himself down the hill, leaving her there, because he knows that if he stays another single second he will ask her to stay, and he wants to do what is best for her. Jamie has the noblest of intentions but he falls short in their execution. 
-Claire: sometimes Claire seems a liiittle passive in the story (which I hate when Claire is passive, so hear me out) but it is because we are getting pretty much everything from Jamie’s perspective. He does not have insight into what is going on with her, and sometimes he gets so wrapped up in his own feelings that he isn’t even paying attention. Also keep in mind that she’s in a brand new world, trying to sort things out, so she’s not quite our usual Claire at the moment. The chapters from her point of view are important insights into what is going on for her. They also very matter-of-factly present certain details about Claire, which is super fun but require us to speculate a little about what we’re actually learning. More of those will be coming to light in arc II :)
Also remember that Claire is terrified of the stones. Jamie drags her back there, dumping all this new information on her, and she’s literally paralyzed. He doesn’t give her time to process or space to speak, so she’s just left there as sweet, oblivious is Jamie chucks himself down the hill.
-Jenny: I’ve gotten so many comments about how Jenny is being unreasonable. I totally agree! She’s meant to be a very flawed human character who is making as many communication mistakes as Jamie, just on the opposite side. Jamie won’t talk about/communicate his feelings, Jenny communicates her feelings by lashing out. Secondly, there needed to be an incident that really pushed things over so Jamie would take her back to the stones. If it were all lovey-dovey between J and C beforehand, he would become too unsympathetic for leaving her at the stones. Jamie assumed after the fight with Jenny that it upset Claire, isolating her, even to the point that Jamie thought she’d want to leave. In his head, Jenny was a manifestation of the cruel human world, and Jamie didn’t want Claire to endure that world once he found a way to bring her home. 
OL Books: Yes! Certainly I am blending in a lot of canon scenes and twisting them to fit my purpose. It’s so fun-- especially all the flirty bits from later season Frasers that I made poor Jamie and Claire endure when they hadn’t even declared their feelings yet. So pay attention to these book parallels, just sayin’... ;)
Premise: if anyone is interested, this idea came to me the night before a huge life event. It was like 3 am and I rolled over and typed
“Fairy Claire. Jamie hiking finds unconscious by stones. Claire... -always cold -touchy -climbs into bed with him first night.” And then I went back to sleep. The next day, I wrote like crazy.
Alright that’s it... I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot, but there’s my thoughts. It would make me very very happy to hear in the replies/comments if these things came across in the story :) 
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hubblebubblehub · 3 years
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yona 197 thoughts
Firstly, behold. I am alive. This chapter honestly made my brain malfunction for a good minute or so, I legit had something akin to a stroke. I honestly believe this chapter encapsulates what has gone wrong with Yona’s storytelling. I understand this is a ‘memoir’, but even backstories whose existence is to deliver exposition require decent consistent characterisation, and a balanced mixture of ‘show don’t tell’ mixed with foreshadowing to result in something... bearable. This chapter was legitimately almost unbearable to read because I think Kusa herself has lost the plot.
To organise my thoughts Imma just put some lil subheadings.
Yon-hi
You know what? Ever since chapter 190 I realised that Yon-hi didn’t have much of a character other than that of an exposition clown. So this lame wrap up on her character was bearable to read, because it’s not as if she had the potential to be anything more than a ye old exposition dump. It’s still frustrating to read her ‘acknowledge’ her own faults, which also make no sense since we haven’t seen a proper build up in a change of thoughts. Yes, she acknowledged her husband was a brute to a certain extent, but apart from this chapter I don’t see her recognising the IMPORTANCE of her position and how her passiveness is stopping her from wielding more influence to prevent tragedy that so clearly hurts her. Sure, she notices that as a country bumpkin amongst nobles she stands out, but even 10 years after the genocide of the priests she never once confronted her husband about it. Or anyone really. Why the change of heart now? The excuse that her husband and Kashi (whom she wasn’t really friends with in the first place?? Honestly I think she was just attached to her out of guilt for what happened) are dead doesn’t explain why she would suddenly have the urge to take some sort of action since the past decade proves she thrives in complacency.
Additionally her relo with her son... I don’t even understand it anymore. She claims she loves Soo-Won but then she writes a letter to her brother-in-law basically asking him to ‘watch out for him’ like MA’AM HE IS YOUR SON. What happened to the role she devoted herself to, as a MOTHER?? I honestly give up trying to understand it.
Il
Oh boi. I thought Yon-hi and Yu-hon had an awful characterisation but Il really takes the cake. I thought I could accept Il’s cowardice since it his duality has been hinted at throughout the whole manga, but honestly it makes close to no sense here. I’m surprised no-one decided to assassinate him the first few years into his reign. I would’ve done it tbh.
This chapter just brings more questions into his passive nature. Why the HELL did he just sit and wait around for something to happen after hearing about the future? Yes, as a religious devotee, he probably accepted the future as fact, but why didn’t he do ANYTHING about it? It seems like he banned weapons out of guilt of his murder, not to actually stop Soo-Won (since he ‘accepted’ that destiny of dying by his nephew’s hands). 
If he knew that Yona would not only face hardship from her position as a reincarnation, but her own freaking family, why didn’t he take counter measures? I don’t understand why he wouldn’t try to empower her so that when he would eventually leave her, she would be able to take care of herself. His attitude to Soo-Won also makes no sense too. If he already accepted he would die by his hand, why didn’t he ban/prevent him from visiting the castle? And if he already accepted his fate, why didn’t he just let the marriage go through anyway? He could clearly see that Soo-Won didn’t detest Yona and would care for her, Yona would be happy with him (provided the murder wouldn’t happen lmfao).
Oh and also, if he knew all these shitty events were going to happen? What was his excuse for not taking care of the country, leaving more than hundreds to starve, live in poverty and die? ‘I’m a placeholder and my brother must not become King. Also I leave everything to the gods’ divine will because I’m a really great religious follower uwu’. Not ‘I’ll properly communicate with my brother, nephew and court to make this country a better place while I’m here to prevent the mistakes of the past.’ He acknowledges he’s not a great King. Why doesn’t he acknowledge and humble himself asking for advice from his advisors. Like whAT
Il & Kashi
Poor Kashi lmfao. Kusa in this chapter really trying to convince us they had a loving relationship and Il was simply just trying to avenge his wife. Sure, let’s say Il did love Kashi. He did a really awful way of expressing it, to the point Kashi genuinely believed he only married her to make the designer baby that is Yona. And I don’t see proof of otherwise tbh. I guess you could argue that Il  & Kashi had some chemistry during the garden scene with Ik-Soo... but also Kashi was a ‘kid’ apparently so call the FBI lmfao. There are honestly no scenes or buildup that convince me that Il loved Kashi without the involvement of the divine. Kashi, maybe. I think she admired him but I see none of that from Il. Even when he flat out murders his brother, his defense isn’t ‘YO THAT WAS MY WIFE YOU JUST MURDEREDDD’ It was ‘THAT WAS THE MOTHER OF THE RED DRAGON’. I think these are self explanatory.
Also to that anti-Soo-Won translator who was saying how this line by Il basically disproves everyone who thought he didn’t love Kashi- it really doesn’t. If anything it just shows how terrible the writing has been for this arc because it’s nowhere near believable enough to accept as truth. Show me scenes where Il is actually.... showing affection and being in a loving and equal relationship with his wife smh
Romance
Il’s reliance on ‘love’ also makes no sense as well, and also highlights how problematic romance is in this series. Considering how ‘girl power’ this series is with Kouren, Lili & her bodyguards, Yona and even Kashi to a certain extent, it makes no sense that Il would choose to leave everything to a man who simply ‘loves Yona and will never betray her’. Like,,, did the events that transpired TEACH HIM NOTHING?? 
Sure only men can become Kings but it seems Queens have a significant position as well. And since Yona is the red dragon... wouldn’t like,, everyone know and respect and hold her on a higher level regardless lmfao like WHAT IS IL THINKING?? He knows that Yona ended up as a superficial spoilt princess as she grew older, but what did he do to rectify that?? n o t h i n g, except attempt to throw another man (Hak) to help solve the (future) problem.
A great grey point this manga has made since the beginning of the series is ‘Prioritising one individual will cause an entire Kingdom to fall to ruin’. So this is why I don’t understand Il’s actions. Yu-hon committed genocide for his wife, whom he loved (also a really poorly built up romance but this chapter ain’t about them), and APPARENTLY murdered Kashi too (dang it... such a weak and predictable outcome, I’m disappointed in you Kusa). Il killing Yu-hon caused Soo-Won & all the Yuhon stans to seek vengeance (although he also did kinda murder him for the sake of Kouka, but nonetheless her adored his father). SO WHY ON EARTH DOES IL THINK LOVE FROM ANOTHER PERSON IS GONNA SAVE HIS DAUGHTER. MAYBE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE BUT CERTAINLY NOT THE ROYAL DAMN FAMILY.
Also just because Hak clearly was devoted to and had affection for Yona, did not mean that Yona would feel the same way, which is arguably is ANOTHER IMPORTANT FACTOR IN A RELATIONSHIP. It seems like Il doesn’t give a damn about his freaking daughter honestly. But maybe who knows, Il has 500 IQ and decided to be passive so Yona would develop feelings for Hak. It was all part of his master plan, while he left most of his kingdom to suffer, no biggie.
Writing
This was such a painful arc to read. I swear Kusa tried to engage her fanbase by constantly making plot twists every chapter. Yu-hon is a good guy. SIKE he’s not. SIKE Il is kind of worse. SIKE Yu-hon bad and should never be one the throne. Il is an okay guy. SIKE he’s borderline religiously fanatic. SIKE Yuhon the crazy one. SIKE Il weird af because he marries Kashi to have baby dragon Yona. SIKE he actually loved Kashi he just DiDn’t MAkE HiS FeElings KnoWn.
Honestly that doesn’t even cover how inconsistent other characters like Yon-hi are either. Bleugh
Predictions for 198?
Maybe Yona will take it upon herself to rectify the wrongs done and pull herself together. Perhaps also do something more substantial than have a deus ex machina bunch of books deliver to information right into her hands. Also maybe show what Soo-Won thinks of this memoir? Surely he’s read it... if he hasn’t then like bye. This series is honestly breaking my heart with every monthly update I swear.
///might rant more later
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bettsfic · 3 years
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Hi! Do you have any advice about how to reveal things about a character's past - particularly Big things, like trauma or otherwise defining moments - without either a) hitting the audience over the head in a big exposition dump, or b) hiding key info to the point where it's a Mystery to an annoying degree? I love stories where a character's behavior is somewhat of an enigma until you learn something important about them, but I don't know how to actually do that myself, esp for the pov character.
oh man what a great question! i think about this all the time. so much of writing boils down to when to reveal information. revealing information early in the story offers context, character development, and raises the stakes. late in the story, it illuminates all that came before it and casts the story in a new light.
there is so much writing advice out there that’s like “cut the backstory! nobody cares about backstory!”
but let me tell you, i’m always a slut for a good backstory. anti-backstory people are the same ones who hated the movie Solo because “we didn’t need to know more about han, he was already a good character on his own!” i read so many bad takes to that effect, and i kept thinking, excuse you! *i* want to know more about han solo!! i want information that will change and deepen my perspective of a trilogy i’ve seen a thousand times so i might go back and watch it again with new eyes!!
anyway. i’ve also been reading danmei, specifically mxtx, who is truly a galaxy brained writer when it comes to backstory. she completely changed my perspective on what it looks like to weave together a vast and complicated story structure. i remember watching the Untamed, deeply irritated by the 30-episode backstory, thinking about what poor writing it was and how if i could get my hands on the script, i’d pare it down and weave it in more thoroughly. 
but then! by the end of the flashback, i was sobbing!! me! crying! over media! and i thought, i’ve had this reaction to a story maybe only a handful of times in my entire life? maybe instead of judging this for not meeting my (extremely western and strict) standards of a “good story” i should be listening to what it’s teaching me?
i honestly think i’ve learned more about writing from mxtx than my entire first semester of a cw phd. 
now onto the actual advice:
in the first draft, let the backstory unveil itself to you naturally without concerning yourself with where information should go.
if you’re not used to writing multiple drafts, this might be difficult. but if you have a complicated past timeline that affects the present timeline, it’s nearly impossible to do it all in one go. you need at least one draft to get it all down, and another draft to put it in the right order. most of the revision process, i’ve found, is putting things in their right place. the creative brain is not an orderly thing, even for those of us who plan meticulously.
while you’re drafting, you’ll find natural pockets where contextual information should go. follow the paths that open for you. if you get to a point where a character is thinking about a certain moment in their past, go into what happened right then and there. you can always move it later, or expand on it, or cut it. but it’s important to see those cues and respond to them the very second you’re inspired to do so.
note, this is the same for nonfiction! if you’re writing a memoir or personal essay, memories will trigger other memories, and the more you allow yourself to follow those paths, the easier it is to see the patterns that emerge. you have to let your stories tell themselves to you. 
okay so let’s say you’ve done all that. the past events are all there, but it’s awkwardly placed/you just don’t like where it is. how do you find where it goes?
unfortunately i can’t tell you where backstory/contextual information should always go or how it should be placed there. but i can tell you what certain positioning does to a narrative, so you can make a more confident decision.
i can go on at length about the movement of time in a story, but i want to keep this narrowed down to the basic premise that you have a present timeline that is informed by past events, and the present timeline is the main story. (there are many other ways to navigate time, but i’m defaulting to this setup because it’s what anon is asking, and also probably the most common.)
in your present timeline, you have plot points, moments where A Thing Happens. i’ll call these moments “events.” likely, you’ve established the stakes of these events as well as their consequences. if your past timeline (stuff that occurs before your story begins) informs these events, your first choice is whether or not you want to put them before an event or after it.
if you put the backstory prior to the event, you contextualize and add depth as or before the event unfolds. this option is good for romances, adventure stories, any narrative where the tension derives from a gradual increase in stakes, and the conflict is built by an opposing force like an antagonist. 
if you put the backstory after, you illuminate the event and cast it in a new light. this might be a twist or reveal, which is good for mysteries, thrillers, or stories where the tension comes from the unveiling of information in order to answer a question the story poses. 
and you can also have a bit of both! maybe you want to tease out some information and reveal some later, or have the past and present run parallel. maybe you want to begin the backstory, cut it short, the event happens, and then you complete the backstory. this method might be good for stories where the present timeline has lower stakes than the past timeline, like recovery narratives.
once you’ve decided before/after/during, the next major decision is whether you want to thread the past into the present via summary (indirect discourse), or if you want discrete, in-scene flashbacks (direct discourse). obviously you can also do a bit of both!
i think this decision will likely depend on your narrator. sometimes a well-written 3-sentence summary is more evocative than a 3-page detailed flashback, especially if the past timeline is a composite memory. that is to say, it’s not a single event that happens, but a series of them, like if you have a memory of always eating a bologna sandwich after school, your brain compiles that into a single memory even though you know you did it a thousand times. 
but sometimes, if a past moment is really important, the 3-page detailed flashback is necessary. sometimes you’ll begin with summary and move into a scene and back out. when it comes to backstories, don’t be afraid to play around with discourse. how does the style and tone change when you summarize a conversation versus when you write it in actual dialogue? personally i’ve found that less is more when it comes to backstories so I err toward summary, at least in my own writing, but as a reader i appreciate each kind of approach. 
lastly and most importantly, get a beta reader and ask them specifically about their experience reading the backstory. here you want descriptive feedback. you’re not asking “what should i do? how do i fix this?” you’re asking, “how did you feel while reading it?” and that will tell you how to approach revision. sometimes i write a backstory that i think is a slam dunk, because i’m already invested in the characters, but i get reader feedback saying it’s boring/they were inclined to skip over it. sometimes i’m like, “haha good, be miserable and bored, you’ll thank me later.” and sometimes i’m like, “dammit fine” and kill my darlings.
on that note, sometimes you just have to own it, and bore/confuse your reader because you know the eventual payoff is good enough. if the info dump is the best/easiest/clearest method, do it. if teasing a backstory out slowly is what you’re going for, don’t be afraid to make the reader want to throttle you. you don’t write to buy into your reader’s expectations; nor do you write specifically to defy those expectations. you write to honor the story you want to tell, and you place contextual information that is most complementary to the narration you’ve chosen. 
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rachelbethhines · 3 years
Text
Tangled Salt Marathon - Lost and Found
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Another plot episode and another mountain of missed opportunities, failed set ups, and foreshadowing that goes nowhere. But outside of that it’s pretty entertaining. Are we seeing a pattern yet? 
Summary: Rapunzel and Eugene go on a journey to retrieve the fourth and final piece of the scroll that will lead them to the Dark Kingdom. They receive help from Vigor the Visionary, who reveals himself to be Lord Demanitus himself, the author of the scroll depicting the purpose of the Sundrop and Moonstone. He leads them to the maze that he hid the last piece of the scroll in. Guiding them through the maze, they obtain the last piece, which united the four into one singular map. As they are about to leave, they are attacked by a stone monster.
Maybe That’s Why You Should Have Brought the Only Person Who Can Read It Along?!
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Once again, having the characters acknowledge their stupidity in meta dialogue doesn’t alleviate the fact that the audience is going to think them stupid.
Regardless of your personal feelings towards Varian or what he has done in the past that does not change the fact that he is literally the only character in the show thus far who can translate the scroll. The mains knew that before leaving and they knew from the get go that they were going to need the scroll piece which is why they took it from him.  
Not bringing him along, not getting a translation key from him before leaving, nor even showing us a scene of Raps trying to ask him to translate the scroll for them before leaving and then having him refuse to do so, is a plot hole. 
Timeline Hint...Sort Of...
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Rapunzel said last episode that it had been almost year since they left Corona, and it’s now close enough to her birthday again that Eugene could be tricked by it but not enough to actually be her birthday. 
So...when are we again? 
I’m going to guess 10 months after Secret of the Sun Drop? Maybe... It could also be 9 or 11 who knows... but I am still seeing fall like trees which is our only indication of a changing season in this show because the creators don’t understand climate apparently.  
Maybe cause we’re now further north of Corona we see fall/winter leaves even into early spring? 
Where Was This Rapunzel In Season 3? 
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Rapunzel actually giving a crap about what Eugene wants is as rare as seeing a fawn in the woods. It happens, but most of the time you forget it's even there. 
While come season three, Rapunzel will just shoot the poor deer dead. 
Madame Canardist is a Wasted Character
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I’ve already discussed at length the biggest problems with Madame Carnardist in my Vigor the Visionary and Curses reviews. So I won’t rehash those talking points here again. However what I spoke about were larger problems with the media industry and bigotry as a whole and not the specific impact the character has on the story. Which is next to none. 
The crew went through all of this trouble to make a deleted character from the film relevant to the series’s plot, and even there they failed. Madame Canardist is nothing more than a translator for Vigor when Demantius isn’t around. The story doesn’t utilize her properly despite her connections to one of the more plot important characters. 
What is her relationship to Demantius and Zhan Tiri? How did Vigor come into her care? Why is she the only person who understands him when Demantius isn’t in control? If Vigor is centuries old by this point than how old is she? What is her stake in all this and why does she bother with Rapunzel at all if she has nothing to gain from it? Why doesn’t she go along on this important quest through the maze seeing as how she is Vigor’s caretaker? 
She’s not completely useless, but like with Lady Caine, Xavier, and Hector before her, she has far more potential than the series is willing to explore with her.  
So Much For Caring About What Eugene Wants 
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Welp that lasted all of five seconds. 
Man, Rapunzel is a shit girlfriend.  
The Pay Off Works, But It Then Serves No Purpose Afterwards 
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I don’t mind the idea of Demantius being the monkey. I mean it is one of the very few plot points in the show with proper foreshadowing and follow through. And yes, Demantius does accomplish one thing here, by helping Raps obtain the last scroll piece. 
The problem is, nothing changes with this revelation. 
No one’s perceptions or interactions with Demantius/Vigor are altered after this reveal. No one changes their plans, goals, or motivations afterwards. Things carry on more or less afterwards the same as if they had never met. The only thing of importance here is the scroll pecice and that’s only relevant in Cassandra's Revenge and is then forgotten about completely for the rest of the series. 
What’s the point of having a plot twist if the status quo still remains?    
If the information being revealed doesn’t alter the story then why keep it secret to begin with? 
How Could You Research Them If You Never Found Them?
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So did Demantius write the incantations or not? 
He is the one who put them on the scroll, so it’s natural to conclude that he did create them, but he couldn’t have done that unless he had studied both the moonstone and sundrop to see the effects the two macguffins had to the spells. 
Now according to this exposition dump, the sundrop and moonstone had been around for ages before Demantius and had become legends by his time. It is possible that someone else studied the two macguffins before him and came up with those incantations, but who? 
The ancient people of the Dark Kingdom might have studied the moonstone since they were tasked with guarding it, but no one knew where the sundrop was until Gothel found it. 
The audience needs to know this sort of information in order to understand the motivations driving the conflicts of the characters. 
Imagine a Lord of the Rings trilogy that never bothered to say where the one ring of power came from or how it came into Gollum’s possession. You’d be left wondering why everyone was fighting over what amounts to an invisibility spell that once belonged to a small deformed hobbit who used to catch fish.   
This Explanation Goes Nowhere 
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Why did the disciples betray Demantius? What did they gain from siding with Zhan Tiri? Why was Gothel with them? Did she betray everyone once she found the sundrop? What was Demantius and Zhan Tiri fighting over to begin with? 
Don’t expect any of those questions to be answered. The series inexplicably makes a big deal over Gothel being connected to Zhan Tiri, but then never actually explains what that connection is, what they’re relationship dynamic was, nor how it connects back to Rapunzel’s and Cassandra’s current conflict. 
That’s the real failing of the show’s lore and backstories. They don’t connect back to the current conflict. It’s just there. 
In a well constructed show, Demantius would have been a parallel to Rapunzel who was also ‘betrayed’ by people she trusted. It would have been revealed that it was Demantius’ own actions that drove away his followers and caused them to side with Zhan Tiri. Thereby serving as a warning to Rapunzel herself and forcing her to realize in the end that in order to save everyone she’s have to apologize to those she hurt. We also would have gotten three betrayals instead of two since that’s more thematically impactful. 
But this isn’t a well constructed show and the characters in it don’t ever evolve.   
This Contradicts What We Find Out In Season 3
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We find out in the last season that Zhan Tiri was originally from this world and that the only reason she was ‘bent on destruction’ was because of Demantius ticked her off somehow.  She also had no magical powers of her own until after Demantius had banished her to that other realm where she was imprisoned. 
Also Demantius didn’t use any powers. He just chucked her into a portal he had built without any warning or trail, with zero idea if it would kill her or not, all because she just stood there yelling at him. Like there wasn’t even any physical fighting, so it wasn’t a case of in defense either. 
Demantius should have been revealed to be the real antagonist all along but that would require the showrunners to be actually clever for once and not misogynistic towards their female characters. 
This Makes Zero Sense
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First off, when was Zhan Tiri ever looking for Demantius? She’s been too busy trying to escape from her prison and it’s been centuries. She has no reason to suspect that he’s still alive nor does she care. Zhan Tiri’s plans are not dependant upon whether or not Demantius still exists. 
Secondly, how is the host body still alive after centuries? Why go with monkey when I’m sure there are actual human beings out there who would agree to living forever. Does the transfer actually destroy the mind? Cause if not you could have had an actual coherent host that could have helped out when Demantius was dormant.   
And don't give me any guff about ‘ethics’ because this is the man who played judge, jury, and executioner to his supposed friend/possible lover and probably killed one of his disciples as Sugarbee’s spirit was trapped in his device.  
Not the Best of Plans My Dude
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So Demantius is basically committing suicide here for no real reason. 
Unless he was just already dying anyways when he made the transfer, then Demantius is drastically shortening his conscious life span. The monkey will live on, but he won’t. 
So why? He had no way of knowing that the sundrop would become a person in the future, it’s completely coincidental that he met Rapunzel just at the right place and time to help her, and as stated above, Zhan Tiri was no longer a threat to him or the world since he imprisoned her and defeated his disciples. 
Like what was his thought process here? “I just really, really want to be a monkey?” 
Eugene Isn't Wrong 
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Look, I am a deeply religious person and I have faith in many things, but even I know that critical thought is necessary for basic survival and that scepticism is just plain common sense. Believing in something doesn’t mean shutting your brain off and never thinking for yourself. 
Demantius has yet to give any reason for why Eugene and Rapunzel should trust him. Him saying ‘have faith’ repeatedly does nothing to instill confidence and in fact does the opposite. If you want to people to believe in you, especially in a dangerous situation that you dragged them into, then you need to earn that trust. 
There’s a world of difference in assuming the best in people and being a fool, and Rapunzel is not the better person just because she blindly goes along with anything because she stubbornly wants to do whatever she wants and assumes she’s always right. 
Eugene is Still Right
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Is ‘Faith’ the new ‘Destiny’ now? Are we just assigning different meanings to random words in order to push the story’s narrative along? 
This entire maze only involves solving puzzles, answering riddles, and a bit of running and climbing here and there. ‘Faith’ has absolutely nothing to do with it. 
This theme doesn’t even work when you take into account the reveal that it’s Eugene who needs to have faith in Rapunzel. Because Rapunzel isn’t the only one doing these things and getting them through here. 
In fact Demantius being here, and being the one who built the maze in the first place, kind of negates Rapunzel’s importance in this area. Secondly, Eugene is doing half the work anyways so it should be a message about having faith in each other. But they already have that so...yeah what’s the point of Demantius constantly bringing it up? 
Why Are You Caring About Money While Stuck In a Death Trap?
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You’re rich now, Eugene. You’re the future prince consort and live in a palace. As soon as you get back to Corona or a place that recognizes Corona as a kingdom you’ll have plenty of money to spare. But you can’t do that if you’re dead inside a maze. 
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Moreover, Rapunzel still has money on her. She just threw two coins in to the well; one for her and one for Demantius. You two live together! You’ve been traveling inside a caravan together for over a year now and neither of you work. Ergo, you should logically be sharing your finances at this point in time. Especially since that is what you’ll be doing anyways once you’re married for real, as you’ll both be heads of state.   
That’s Now How Faith Works
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Faith is evidence for things unseen, or to put it more accurately the evidence for things that are unprovable. God, death, the future, creation, souls, the meaning of life, ect, are all concepts that can’t be proven nor disproven. No one upon this earth will ever know for certain what happens after death, how the universe was made, or if there is any intelligent life out there beyond ourselves.
People don’t like the unknowable.
Believe systems of all kinds, whether they be religious or not, exist to bring us comfort when face with the dread of such existential questions. Even if that belief system is agnosticism itself.
Gravity, weight, and basic physics however are all provable concepts that have been around since Ancient Greece, if not longer. Man has always known that if you drop something it falls, even if they didn’t have the math to back it. It’s just a fact of life.
‘Faith’ isn’t going to stop Eugene from falling. It’s not going to make the bridge more sturdy. It’s not going to magically make him as light as a feather. It won’t turn the acid below him into water. “Faith’ can’t literally give you wings and make you fly; that’s just a metaphor.
What Demantius is promoting here isn’t faith. What he’s asking Eugene to do is to blindly follow his orders without question.
This is especially jarring when you consider that Demantius is supposed to be a famous scientist. He should know very well the importance of critical thought and that having faith doesn’t mean shutting your brain off.
The Scroll is Such a Let Down
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We’ve spent a season and a half finding the pieces for this thing and it won't actually be relevant until the halfway through season three. Mostly because the one person who can translate it isn’t here.
On top of that, it’s no longer important outside of  one episode. It’s an example of  the payoff not living up to its hype.
So This Is a Lie
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The scroll only contains four incantations on it, and one is on the back in invisible ink and not the fourth pecice itself. None of those incantations involve combining the moontsone and sundrop together. In fact, after using two of those incantations only once they’re never seen being used again for the rest of the series. Furthermore, once the moonstone and sundrop are combined they only allow the user to perform the healing and hurt incantations, which Rapunzel can do anyways without the moonstone. 
Demantius wrote the dang scroll himself! He should very much know what is on it and what it does. This is yet another case of the writers not planning things ahead. 
Being Good at Riddles Doesn’t Make You ‘Pure of Heart’ 
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Being ‘pure of heart’ means that you are kind. One does not need ‘faith’ to be kind. Being kind is doing the right thing and helping others even if it doesn’t benefit you at all.
Not only does running through a maze not have anything to do with faith, it also has nothing to do with kindness.
The only thing it proves is that Rapunzel enjoys running through a maze, and will do so in addition to dragging others along with her regardless if those people want to do it or not.
That’s not being kind.
If anything Rapunzel has only proven thus far in the series that she is a very selfish person who shouldn’t be trusted with such grave responsibility.
But as already pointed out, Demantius doesn’t care about actual faith, kindness, or purity. He just wants blind obedience. He’s mistaken Rapunzel’s exuberant and stubborn nature for nativity; not realizing that her complancany is only because they both desire the same goal.
Had he asked Rapunzel to do something that she didn’t already want to do, she wouldn’t have been so ‘pure’ to his mind.
That Is a Very Valid Question 
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Eugene has a point. There’s no reason to go on this quest. In fact knowing about season three in hindsight, turning around now and not going to the Dark Kingdom would be the better option for everyone.
Cass couldn’t steal the moonstone. Zhan Tiri would never be freed. Corona will never be destroyed and the brotherhood never mind trapped. As for the black rocks they will just sit there impotently not doing anything.
Even freeing Quirin, not that Rapunzel cares, only requires the hurt incantation, which she already has.
The only problem is that Cassandra has ZT trapped in her mind but without the moonstone that has no consequences outside of Cass hearing a annoying voice in her head that she is perfectly capable of ignoring. And even that wouldn’t have happen if they had turned around after the Great Tree.
SHOW DON'T TELL
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Nothing in the show back up what Demantius is saying here. We haven’t seen the rocks being active since season one. Even when Rapunzel was lollygagging around or going off the path. 
When they do become active again in the next episode it’s to help her, and after that in season three it’s all Cassandra’s doing. 
Also in season three Rapunzel is able to rebuild Old Corona around the rocks with little problem even though she didn’t reunite with the moonstone. 
In a Competent Show This Would Be Foreshadowing. This Is Not a Competent Show. 
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I genuinely thought this was hinting at Moon Eugene, when I first saw this. Now couple that with the talk of ‘three betrayals’ earlier and I thought Eugene would be the final ‘betrayal’ and that a true love's kiss, after Rapunzel had apologized to him, is what would reunite the two powers and save the day.
I’m not going to fault the show for not living up to my expectations and predictions, but I will fault the series for failing to utilize Eugene properly and not working him into the main conflict. He’s the duel protagonist of the franchise. He should have just as much weight in the narrative the same as Rapunzel has.  
Oh How I Hate Where This Arc Goes
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What the show does wind up doing to Eugene however, is incredibly stupid and frustrating. 
Remember how I said that ‘faith’ in this show is just blind obedience? 
Yeaaaahhh.... 
That’s what Eugene takes from all of this. Not that he should support and believe in his partner, something that he already was doing by the way, but that he needs to be a doormat to her and her whims. 
Like with Rapunzel yelling at Hook Hand in Brother’s Hook, this is the point where Eugene’s character starts to break. You just wouldn’t know it until after watching season three. 
This Is Such a Lazy Cop-Out
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Like the audience has these questions too. Neither us nor Rapunzel will ever have these questions answered. You just backed out of committing to any real answers because you didn’t have your story planned out like you should have.
Why Does Everyone Act Like There’s a Prophecy When There Isn’t Any Actual Prophecy? 
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Once again, Demantius had no way of knowing that the sundrop would become a person. No one did. There’s no prophecy and there’s zero explanation for his psychic abilities, which are inconsistent at best.  In fact I don't think he does have such powers, otherwise he’d be more helpful inside the maze. I think those are reserved for Vigor only and we don’t know where he got them or if he even is a ‘real’ psychic. 
Tangled the Series wants to act like it’s running on a predestination plot. That events must occur and will occur regardless of what actions you take to prevent it. Now ignoring how that causes problems with the characters’ agency for a moment; you can not have any predestination if there’s no actual destiny. 
Chosen one plots often have prophecies for a reason. Predestination is there to evoke either tragedy that can’t be prevented or present consequences for  if/when the main hero doesn’t follow along. Either way it’s there to establish conflict. 
Everyone in TTS acts like there is a conflict when said conflict hasn’t actually been established! 
This is writing 101. You need conflict. You need to establish shit. You can’t just pretend that a conflict exists where it doesn’t. ‘Fake till you make it’ doesn’t work in long term storytelling and television animation. It has to be pre-planned.  
Also The Timeline Doesn’t Match
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Demantius said that it was a millenia when the sundrop and moonstone fell.He also just said he’s been waiting for a millenia to ‘meet the sundrop’. Yet Demantius acted like the sundrop and the moonstone were already legends by the time he started to search for them. That means they had to be around longer than he has. It also brings us back to the first question of who wrote the incantations if he and Zhan Tiri never found them? 
Believing In Someone Does Not Mean Shoving All the Work Onto Their Shoulders
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You’re supposed to be in this together. Couples should work as a team. Both of your lives depend upon getting out of here so you should both be coming up with ideas and working together.
Not only does this miss the entire point of what ‘believing in your spouse’ actually means, it’s also incredibly unfair to both of these characters. It’s unfair to Rapunzel for put so much pressure and unrealistic expectations onto her and to have her be the person to carry both of them through when Eugene is perfectly capable of physically doing things. It’s also unfair to shove Eugene to the side and make him a useless character all of a sudden.
Rapunzel Does Nothing To Earn Such Blind Devotion 
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Rapunzel’s magical hair has nothing to do with Rapunzel as a person. It’s an entity separate from her being. Literally. The hair can move of its own accord as shown here and it’s possible to physically separate Rapunzel from her powers as seen in the finale.  
Believing in Rapunzel should be about believing in who she is as a human being, about her individual character. It should not be because she has magic glowing hair.  
Not only is this a betrayal of Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship and why they came to love one another in the first place, but it’s also a betrayal of Rapunzel’s growth as a character. It’s not only Eugene who blindly kisses her ass after this point, it’s everyone, even though she gives them little reason too. 
This the Last We’ll See of Vigor and Madame Canardist
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Three episodes spent establishing these characters and now they’re just gone for no reason. They’re never seen of nor mentioned again beyond a single meta joke. Despite the main conflict revolving around Demantius and them both having the closest connection to that character.  
This Is Bad Foreshadowing, But At Least It’s Actual Foreshadowing  
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Up till now any ‘foreshadowing’ we got for Cass’s villain arc has been confined to poorly thought out background images; the painting of the moon, the broken mirror in Gothel’s tower, and I won’t even dignify Chris’s bullshit about her handmaiden dress being blue. 
Not to mention all of that was only in season one. Outside of her conversation with Eugene about their parents, way back in Cassandra vs. Eugene, we haven’t had any real foreshadowing until we hit the Great Tree. 
Since the Great Tree we’ve only had a couple of bitch fights with Raps, which I personally don't consider real foreshadowing since no ill will was attached to those, and her glaring angrily at Rapunzel after escaping the shell house. 
In light of that, this scene is at least genuine foreshadowing, it’s just poorly done foreshadowing. 
While the other attempts at foreshadowing were too subtle, this one is too obvious. It gives the game away too early because there’s no other viable options within Rapunzel’s group. Adira comes closest and she’s not actually here and not really considered a friend by Rapunzel herself.  
So what winds up happening is that Cass’s arc feels rushed despite being planned since the beginning.  
Conclusion 
I spent three days fighting tumblr to get this review posted! Appreciate it! 
As for the episode itself, it’s fun to watch in isolation, but it’s such a let down knowing what’s to come from it all. 
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sunnomnoms · 4 years
Note
Hiiii I Found Your Blog In The Tags And I Never Thought I Would Enjoy Ace Attorney Imagines Before. I've Been Into It For Years And I Think This Idea Is So Adorable. I Hope Requests Are Open, And If I Can Ask For Relationship Headcanons For Hobo Phoenix Where There Is An Established Relationship Between You Two, And How It Continues Once He Gets Disbarred? I Always Wonder How Those Eight Years Would Have Been When He Had Some Light In His Life Besides Trucy. Btw I Love Your Aizawa Writing!
Aaaa ! A new anon that actually likes my AA stuff ! I’m so blessed :,) I’m truly flattered my writing is what got you interested aha, you’re too sweet ! Also, thank you!
I got SUPER CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS I AM SO SORRY
Fun fact: I actually cried while writing it 🥺🥺
Some warnings: this is female coded! Some angst, some fluff, family cuteness, family struggles, agh-! It has a happy ending though!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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You had known Phoenix for at least a year or so before you started dating. You were a witness to a crime he took, which is what brought you two together in the first place. If it’s important, yes, your testimony did help a good bit for solving the case!
While working on it, Phoenix found himself feeling a bit... fuzzy, around you. It wasn’t ever something he intended to happen, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to be in a relationship. But he couldn’t just deny the immense amount of chemistry going on between the both of you.
Oddly enough, the two of you didn’t lose contact after the case was over. Phoenix took it upon himself to go and see you sometimes when he wasn’t working on anything. This fuzzy feeling was starting to get worse, and the chemistry was slowly turning into tension...
... and within a year or so of knowing you, he took it upon himself to ask if you would be interested in something more. You happily accepted.
With you now at his side, Phoenix felt a bit more confident. You meant a lot to him, and he made sure to express it as much as he could to you. He really was a sweetheart, he made it his goal to let you know how much he loved and appreciate all you did for him. Whether it be helping him figure out a case or just making him dinner after a long day in the office, he never took any of it for granted.
The incident happened a few years later, and it wasn’t something you could have seen coming from a million miles away.
Your boyfriend, an attorney, came home without his beloved badge... and a few days later, was asked to care for a child.
Phoenix was reasonably shaken about losing his badge due to his fatal mistake, but he was more worried about someone else.
“[Y/N], she’s got no where to go...” He said as he held your hands, tears brimming his eyes. The little girl I’m question, Trucy, sat in your living room as the two of you spoke quietly in your bedroom. You felt Phoenix give your hands a gentle squeeze. “Why don’t we give it a try...?”
Truth be told, you and Phoenix had been trying for a baby for a good while now, but nothing seemed to be working. It had started to take a toll on you mentally, making you fear you would never have children at all. Trucy had appeared at a time when you were sure you were going to give up entirely. Perhaps... this could be what you needed all along...?
With tears in your eyes, you agreed happily to raising Trucy with Phoenix. He brought you into a tight embrace as you began to feel yourself cry. He quietly whispered about how good of a mother you were going to be to her, and how he’s going to do everything he could with you to give her a normal life.
Raising Trucy wasn’t a struggle at all. Though mischievous at times, she was a delight to deal with. Your stresses of how you were raising her was fading, because despite everything... she held on tight and was strong. She seemed just as determined to live a normal life as you were to give her one. That is, as normal as raising a little magician can be!
Phoenix, in the beginning, was also great with her. You had never felt so close to him until now. You felt like you had that family you always dreamed of. Granted, it wasn’t perfect, Phoenix was still struggling with coping over his lost badge. You did what you could to assure him that life would untangle itself with time, and that no matter what, you were sure things were going to end up okay. You were there on the countless nights he felt himself fall to apart, you always helped him put back the pieces.
For awhile, you were sure things were getting better. Trucy was doing great, and it seemed like Phoenix was...
Unfortunately, your beloved wasn’t always honest with his feelings. He had suppressed so much... and before you could help him, it’s as if he fell into disrepair.
The struggles came with Phoenix’s sudden and rapidly declining mental health. He had gained a habit to isolate, and you began to go days without seeing him. When he’d show up again, he was vague as to where he was, if he told you at all. It began to take a toll on you, you were beginning to practically raise Trucy alone at this point. Sometimes he’d disappear with Trucy, and that tortured your poor heart more than anything. You could only handle so much paranoia about where they were.
It got to a point in which you basically begged for Phoenix to get professional help. He seemed stubborn when it came to the topic, as if he didn’t want to better himself. You couldn’t even be mad at him, you were too busy sorting out your feelings of dispair and hopelessness. You just wanted a normal life, you wanted a lover, a child, a stable family... you were so close, why did everyone have to fall apart...?
You had ended up taking yourself to therapy to sort out your feelings. Your family and friends gave you conflicting answers as to what to do. Some said to leave him and take Trucy, some said to stay and try and talk to him more, some said to take legal action...
You couldn’t tell what was right at this point. With so many people saying so many things, you weren’t sure what you were supposed to believe. Part of you downplayed the situation, this was how all dads were supposed to be, right? Part of you felt hypersensitive to everything, part of your conscious screaming that you should have ran away the second the red flags began to appear. You didn’t know what to do... so you chose to endure. For Trucy.
It didn’t help that Phoenix picked up a habit for drinking.
The only thing you could ever thank him for was that he stayed away from Trucy when intoxicated. She didn’t need to see him like that. Besides that, he was insufferable to deal with when intoxicated. He was the “I’m not that drunk!!” type, even if he couldn’t stand up. If you had a dime for all the times you had to drag him to bed, you’d never have to worry about the bills ever again. When drunk, he wasn’t physically violent or anything, but he had a habit of saying things that really hurt. It was common for you to put him to bed and spend the rest of the night crying and wonder what went wrong between you two. It was awful that occasionally, Trucy had to come and console you. You felt safer with your daughter than you did you own boyfriend... was it truly supposed to be this way...?
When Apollo came into the picture, you were delighted to meet him. He reminded you of how Phoenix once was when he was a lawyer. Apollo often questioned the family life of the three of you, but you always responded with vague answers. Things like “it’s certainly not perfect, but when is life ever supposed to be perfect?” We’re common time hear from you. It satisfied him for awhile. You’d always hear a ton about Apollo through Trucy, and it was for the most part positive things. Whenever he and Trucy visited the house, you’d quietly thank him for looking over Trucy when Phoenix wasn’t around. He always said it was no issue or whatnot, but you knew deep down he wasn’t expecting to be lowkey babysitting as a lawyer.
As far as you were concerned, Apollo was an addition to the family. Trucy always spoke of him as if he was a big brother, and it warmed your heart to know Trucy had a positive male figure in her life now.
When Phoenix had gone away for longer than usual for his “secret mission”, you had only expected for him to be away to go get messed up in a town over or something. But when he came back, he... brang news.
It was so much to take in at once. Trucy participated in her fathers “disappearance”, her mother was still alive, and Apollo was her half sibling.... what were you to do with yourself? What was it all supposed to mean? Was Trucy going to stay with you? And Apollo, was he now... your son?
You saw Apollo a bit less for the next week or so, you knew that case took a toll on him mentally and you were sure he was up to his eyes in paperwork. You made sure to call him at least once a day to make sure he wasn’t overworking himself.
Trucy was home a bit more now. You were happy to see here in the midst of the storm passing over the whole lot of you. You could tell she was torn up inside, but she still beamed at you with that beautiful smile you adored the second she came into your life. She was so strong, you couldn’t help but tear up a little when you saw her smile in the face of it all.
And Phoenix...
He was still gone for a bit after the fact, but one night he had come home late without you realizing. You were about to go to bed when you heard him call your name from the porch.
You felt your heart drop hearing him, worrying he might be drunk again. You padded your way to the back door, opening it and walking out onto the porch. Phoenix stood from his previous position of leaning on the railing, gesturing to some of the chairs on the deck. “Come sit. I... I wanna talk.”
You sat in one of the chairs, Phoenix pulling up one right in front of you. He inhaled deeply, then letting out a sigh. You were about to ask what this was all about when he gently took both of your hands.
“I... I’m sorry I dumped a bunch of information and left for a few days.” He apologized softly. “... I’ve been getting help.”
You let out a soft gasp. Phoenix looked up at you, and you felt yourself get lost in those beautiful steal blue eyes the same way you did all those years ago. You knew he was being sincere when he said it, but part of you didn’t believe it, what was this supposed to mean...?
“N-Nick, what is this about...?” You said, your voice barely above a whisper as you felt yourself getting choked up.
“[Y/N], this is about us. I lost sight of everything all those years ago- this isn’t what I wanted. This isn’t what I want and I know it’s not what you want.” Phoenix said, his gentle gaze never leaving you. You searched his face for any sign of insincerity but it just wasn’t there.
“Nick...” you croaked, tears beginning to roll down your face. You watched the tears begin to well up in his own eyes, but he quickly blinked them away.
“[Y/N]... I want to be a family again. A real family, [Y/N], I don’t want to be a stranger in this house anymore. I don’t want you to be afraid of where I am anymore, or be afraid of how Trucy is gonna grow up. I want a real family. I want you, me, Trucy and even Apollo to function like a real family...” He said, bringing your hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss to them.
“... I’m so sorry [Y/N].” He spoke against your fingers. “I understand if you don’t forgive me, but I regret these past years so much... I need you to know that I’m sorry [Y/N]....”
You tried to hold back so you could speak, but your frantic sniffling caught Phoenix’s attention immediately.
“Nick, I-I-!”
He wrapped his arms tightly around you as you fell to pieces in his arms. You sobbed harder than you probably ever had for those past seven years or so. You clutched onto him for dear life, terrified he might disappear again if you let go.
“N-Nick- I-Ive waited s-seven years to hear you say you’ll come back!!! I-I-I’ve waited so long for you to c-come back home again, I-I-!” You wailed, your sobs getting the better of you as you gasped for air between your tears. He whispered gentle apologies to you as he ran his fingers through your hair.
The two of you stayed like that for a good bit. You sooner or later leveled out, your sobs dying down to gentle sniffles. Phoenix gently released you from his embrace, taking your hands in his again.
“[Y/N]?”
“Y-Yeah?” You responded shakily. He looked you in the eyes again, a gentle smile on his face.
“I... I want you to be my wife.” He said gently, earning another gasp from you. “Y-You don’t have to say yes now, I understand, b-but I don’t want to just be a lover to you anymore, I-I want to be your husband, [Y/N].” He spoke gently. You felt the tears sting your eyes again. He watched your face for a second, waiting for any sign of an answer to his proposal. You brought a hand to your face as you wiped the fresh tears rolling down your face.
“Oh Nick, I... I’d love to be your wife, Nick. I-I truly thought you would never ask...” You said, smiling as you watched his eyes light up. He let out a laugh of disbelief.
“Y-You mean it? After everything I’ve done you... you still love me..?” He asked. You nodded. “Of course I do.” Letting out another laugh in disbelief, he cupped your face and brought you into a deep kiss.
You were basically smothered with kisses, the two of you giggling like idiots, as giddy as teenagers getting their first tastes of love.
“I’m gonna get better just for you, and I’m gonna go retake the bar exam and I’m gonna fix all of this [Y/N]. I’m gonna give you the life you want and the life you deserve. I’m never going to lose sight of you again. Not you, not Trucy, not even Apollo, we’re gonna be a family and I’m not gonna let anything ever destroy that again. Maybe we can try again for another kid, maybe we can adopt another, I’ll give you anything to make our life perfect again...”
“I love you so much [Y/N].”
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tren-fraszka · 3 years
Text
Fandom5k 2021 Letter
Dear creator,
Thank you for taking your time to check my requests. I know my requests can sound a bit tricky, but please don’t be discouraged. I wish you will have good time writing first and foremost!
My AO3 is Tren, if you wish to check it out.
Likes: comedy, casefics, canon compliants, AUs, time loops, bodyswaps, roleswaps, “being hoisted by your own petard” plotlines, snark, pettiness, rivals, enemies to friends to lovers, violence, friendships, and character bonding,
DNW: explicit sex (makeouts and fade to black is okay), A/B/O, mpreg, rape depicted as positive (so no “it’s okay, because the other person enjoyed it/it was what they truly wanted”), trans headcanons, soulmate AUs, stories ending with surrender to fate/destiny, fourth wall breaking in canons where that doesn’t occur, character has cancer or other real-life terminal disease AU, word “queerplatonic”.
Also, I included what ships I’m okay with in each fandom. Please do not include any ships that aren’t canon and I have not allowed in those sections (if you feel really strongly about a ship I haven’t mentioned, you can always ask through mods just in case). 
On a separate, but similar note, I’m okay with OCs as long as they don’t overshadow the characters I requested. 
Additionally, while I almost never request fanart as possible medium, because I prefer my main gift to be fic, I would be very okay with receiving fanart treats. Also, feel free to peruse my old letters if you get your hands on them. I never stop being interested in fandoms, and if I requested something once I will still want it in the future.
                                            REQUESTS
MARIMASHITA! IRUMA-KUN
I read new manga chapters as they get translated so feel free to incorporate anything from the manga that’s available in English. 
Kirio Amy/Suzuki Iruma
There are many good ships with Iruma, but this one just has a lot things I like. I love enemy ships with both sides being way too emotionally invested into each other so this was inevitable. I love how this relationship starts as this really wholesome friendship and school festival preparation, except Kirio turns out to be a bit messed up and wants to blow up everyone. But then they both accept the outcome and go on with their lives still thinking about each other. Iruma goes through a lot of trouble to keep the club operating even though Kirio has been pretty much expelled. And then Kirio is now obsessed with Iruma as his anthitesis and perfect enemy.
I’m okay with the potential story happening at any point in the canon. I would love both a story set before the festival while Kirio is still hiding his true colors or a story set after it. Maybe Iruma runs into Kirio somewhere after he escapes prison and instead of calling an adult, he tries to stop Kirio from causing trouble on his own. As for pre-festival story. Maybe some upperclassmen steal important parts from the club and Iruma and Kirio set out to get them back.
Naberius Callego & Suzuki Iruma
I love Callego for being a much better take on Snape than original Snape ever was. The second the series made Callego Iruma’s familiar I knew this was about to get good. And it was. I love how Callego slowly warms up to Iruma, even if he is still allergic to his and Sullivan’s antics. I love that Callego is actually a competent teacher who cares about his students, but at the same time he would rather eat a whole lemon than admit it out loud.
For prompts, maybe Sullivan ends up having an important business and Opera isn’t available so he dumps looking after Iruma on Callego for a few days. Or Iruma is struggling with studying since so many things are new for him, so Callego ends up forced to help him catch up with the material (if you are following manga inclusion of Balam is always welcome). Or maybe Iruma gets into usual trouble ends up stranded somewhere and the only one he can call for help is his familiar.
Crocell Kerori | Kuromu/Gyari
One of the last thing I expected to get this year was a canonical yuri romance in this manga, but here it is and it’s perfect. I love how it is pretty much built on mutual pining. I love how Kuromu loves Gyari, but refuses to reciprocate her feelings, because she knows that she needs to remain unattainable to keep their relationship alive, and I love how Gyari is never ever going to give up.
I would love to see more of the time when they worked together. We know it was love at the first sight for Gyari, but I would love to see how Kuromu’s feelings grew. Those hours they spent together practicing, maybe a not-date where they sneak together to scout a venue where they will be having their first big concert, or maybe a small contest that would sow the seeds for their future rivalry. I would love any and all of it. Also, Gyari doesn’t seem to be aware of Kuromu’s civilian identity, so I would love a story where Gyari meets Crocell Kerori rather than Kuromu. Does she recognize her? Or does Kerori manage to successfully trick her? Maybe Gyari makes a full investigation after hearing rumors that Kuromu is attending Babylys. I would also love any sort of future fic for those two.
AUs and ships
I love the worldbuilding around the demon world, so I would ask that if you decided to write an AU that it still incorporates demons. I would definitely love an AU where rather than getting summoned to demon world, Iruma accidentally summons either Kirio or Callego into the human world. Maybe Iruma’s parents try to use him as an offering, but instead he ends up bound to a demon. I would love to see Kirio excited to unleash suffering (even if his weak powers severely limit him in that regard) onto human world just to discover that he made contract with the biggest pacifist possible. Or Callego being torn between wanting to return home as soon as possible (he has classes to teach!) and wanting to somehow help the weird human child that just keeps getting into trouble. Any other demon-focused AU is also welcome. For Gyari and Kurmou, maybe one of them is a human who ends up summoning the other as a demon. How different would their relationship be then? I’m also fine with any sort of AU divergences scenario. Maybe Iruma keeps accidentally sabbotaging Kirio’s terrorist plans without realizing it. Or Iruma ends up summoning Callego more often as his familiar when he gets into trouble. What if Gyari also attended Babylys.
As for ships, I’d rather avoid any love triangle scenarios for this canon, so please focus on just one pairing per character (competing for Iruma’s attention is normal for this canon, I’d just rather not see outright romantic competition). It’s self-explainatory for Kirio request, but if you want to include some shipping elements into the other requests I also ship Iruma/Amelie and Callego/Balam.
RE:ZERO
I watched the two season of anime, as well as the two OVA. Please don’t include any spoilers for events that haven’t been yet adapted. I’m fine with mentions of stuff from the light novel that adaptation has skipped, just please make sure to establish them properly, as I haven’t read the light novel.
Natsuki Subaru/Otto Suwen Natsuki Subaru & Felix Argyle & Julius Euclius & Reinhard van Astrea Roswaal L. Mathers (Re:Zero)
Echidna the Witch (Re:Zero)
Feel free to mix and match my requests (or cut off parts of the requests and stitch them together). Or include any other characters, I love all of them.
Natsuki Subaru/Otto Suwen
I came out of second season with a burning desire to see Otto and Subaru getting together. Otto was the MVP of the second season. Like sure, Emilia killed it in the last few episodes, but none of it would happen if Otto didn’t slap Subaru in the face when he needed it the most. Subaru even commented that Otto was like a heroine in a game at one point. They just care so much about each other and I would love to see them actually get together.
I would love to see them going on an undercover mission. Maybe they are trying to gather the information about witch cultists. Maybe they need to pretend to be a couple for the sake of their investigation. Or Emilia sends the two of them on a fake mission that actually consists of them visiting places of relaxation to make sure Subaru finally gets a break. And Otto’s mission is to make sure that Subaru actually rests and doesn’t get in trouble, but this proves to be a much more difficult undertaking that he expected. 
After first season I had a working theory that Otto is actually a sin archbishop who is pretending to be a normal person for some unknown reasons (or maybe has a split personality). Season two pretty much disproved it, but I still adore that idea and would love anything with it.
Natsuki Subaru & Felix Argyle & Julius Euclius & Reinhard van Astrea
I immediately loved the queen candidates’ knights and the relationships between them. I would greatly enjoy seeing them work together. Maybe someone is plotting to harm queen candidates and they join forces to bring them down. Or maybe the queen candidates are busy with some bureaucracy and the bored knights decide to spend a night at town, which ends with all sorts of shenanigans. Maybe Subaru and Julius decide to have some sort of competiton that hilariously goes out of control. Or Reinhardt and Subaru rope everyone into helping some poor grandma, but her straightforward request ends up becoming much more difficult to execute than anyone predicted. Also, at the end of second season Subaru officially became Emilia’s knight and I would love to see other knights throwing an unofficial party for Subaru to celebrate this achievement. Or maybe their planned celebration doesn’t go as planned and Subaru ends up accussed of a crime he didn’t commit. Luckily, there are three very handsome and equally capable knights who believe in him and are willing to help him clear his name.
Feel free to also include Aldebaran into the group if you want. He had very little screen time in anime, so I didn’t want to make this request more difficult than it already is, but if you want to write him too I would be very happy with his inclusion.
Roswaal L. Mathers (Re:Zero)
Roswaal was incredible in the second season. I loved the parallels between him and Subaru! I loved his unrequited crush on Echidna! I loved Ram’s unrequited crush on him and how her actions ended up affecting him! I loved how Emilia made him apologize! He just had so many great interactions. I would just love to see more of Roswaal.
We know that Roswaal attempted to undertake the trial, but was rejected. What if by some quirk of fate Roswaal could undertake the trial. How would it go? Would he be able to accept the past? I would also love a deeper insight into his thought process during the Sanctuary arc, but also earlier arcs. How did he feel about Subaru and other characters? What happened to him after the Subaru failed? (we don’t know if Subaru dying creates new timelines or if there’s one that gets reset, while this prompt leans on former, I’m fine with both interpretations) I would also love to see if maybe Ram had attempted to destroy Roswaal’s book or shown her feelings for him before. On a different note, I would love Roswaal being a bit too interested in Otto (after he had changed the fate written in the book) and trying to figure out how he had achieved that. Honestly, I would love to see Roswaal interact with anyone. You could write him and Reinhard meeting in a bakery and I would love it.
Echidna the Witch (Re:Zero)
Echidna is best witch (at least until anime shows more of Sekhmet who I can already tell is my spirit animal witch). I loved Echidna’s character, the aura of mystery she built around herself, and her plans involving Subaru. She was just incredible.
I would absolutely love to see Echidna holding trials for other characters. It doesn’t matter who. Maybe Garfiel ends up completing all of them. Or maybe by some twist of fate Otto gains qualification and takes up the trials. Or Ram, or really anybody else. I just loved how personalized the trials were and would love to see them for other characters and what Echidna would think of them. I would also love to see more of her interactions with Subaru. Maybe Subaru makes deal with her, but belatedly realizes it was a bad idea and tries to find a way to break it. I would be also very okay with seeing more of her interactions with other witches. Or Emilia. I will gladly take 5k words of Echidna being completely done with Emilia’s positivity. Maybe Echidna finds a way to escape her deadness, but she needs to enter a contract with Emilia and now she is her familiar like Puck was.
AUs and ships
I would prefer no setting changes for this story. Any other AUs are fine. I especially love Subaru’s reset mechanic, so feel free to abuse that if you want. If you want some AU ideas, maybe another character starts remembering bits and pieces of the reseted timelines.
I like Subaru/Emilia, but the show is doing such a good job with it that I’m not craving more. As such I’m okay with acknowledging Subaru’s canon crush on Emilia, but if you are planning to do any other pairing involving Subaru I would prefer to reframe Subaru’s feelings for her as friendship. I’m okay with pairing Subaru with pretty much any other guy in the series (especially other queen candidate knights) or leaving who he will end up with ambiguous.
SOUSOU NO FRIEREN
I read new manga chapters as they get translated so feel free to incorporate anything from the manga that’s available in English.
Frieren
I love how this manga is a slow-paced fantasy dealing with loss and inevitable passage of time. And I love Frieren for being one of the best depictions of an elf whose long life actually affects their outlook on life and actions.
I would equally love the insight into Frieren’s present with her charges and the past with hero party. What other shenanigans they get into on their journey? What kind of weird magic Frieren pursued? I would love to see more of her mentoring Fern and Stark. I also love to see her interactions with the hero party. Maybe some more insight into how they fought with demons, since Frieren seemed to have picked up a number of enemies during that time. For some more specific prompts: maybe Frieren accidentally stumbles ona cursed item that erases her memories (or just her memories of Himmel). How would it affect her? What would the party do to help her? Or maybe a demon kidnaps someone from Frieren’s party?
Feel free to include any other characters, they are a colorful bunch. 
AUs and ships
I’m fine with AUs as long as Frieren’s long lifespan is preserved. Her perspective is very much shaped by how long she has lived, so I wouldn’t want that aspect to change. An AU with mythological creatures or similar could be interesting. I would also love a roleswap where Himmel is an elf, while Frieren is a human, and exploration of how both of them would be affected by having a different lifespan.
I would very much love Himmel/Frieren, though I also enjoy how the manga softly builds on their connection. I also enjoy the budding romance between Fern and Stark.
HATARAKU MAOU-SAMA!
While I made this request mostly with anime in mind, I also consumed the original novels up to (and including) volume six. So feel free to include anything from the novels up until that point if you want, but nothing beyond that.
Maou Sadao/Ashiya Shirou
If Demon Lord’s right hand man/strategist turned into a househusband isn’t one of the most shippy ideas then I don’t know what is. Fics are just writing themselves. I just love seeing utter domesticity and loyalty Sadao and Ashiya have (and trouble they have with their prodigal not-son Urushihara).
I would love to get some insight into their relationship before they had to escape into another world. Maybe Ashiya realizes he is actually happy with the current arrangement and feels shame over indulging himself, while his lord is working hard to earn money and regain their powers. For some more specific prompts, maybe instead of becoming househusband he ends up working in MgRonald’s alongside Sadao. Or maybe while he’s doing shopping he ends up winning a lottery organized by some local shops and receives tickets for an onsen visit for two, so he and Sadao go to have a much deserved break. Or alternatively a story where they don’t get a break and need to face some new enemy.
Maou Sadao/Sasaki Chiho
I love Chiho Sasaki. She’s one of my favourite renditions of a normal person accidentally becomes entangled into a supernatural plot I’ve seen. And amidst it all, I love how she keeps supporting Sadao, even after learning that her MgRonald’s senpai is in fact a demon lord from another world.
I would love to see more of them working together in MgRonald’s. Maybe a precanon story where Chiho is still learning her ropes at MgRonald’s, while Sadao is still not completely used to passing as a human, so he keeps accidentally mentioning things about his demonic past and then has to quickly amend them into something more human. Or maybe a “tragic” story of Chiho who instead of applying to MgRonald’s goes to Sentucky Fired Chicken (I don’t mind changing it so SFC opens earlier than in the canon). Even though Sadao works for the rival store Chiho still falls for him and his impeccable work ethic and so she keeps counting days until her contract ends so she can apply to MgRonald’s instead (bonus points if the Sariel’s plotline happens during that time and Chiho gets increasingly distreased that Sadao will hate her even if she successfully moves to MgRonald’s). Alternatively they both go on some sort of training or charity action for MgRonald’s employees. Or maybe a more fantastical adventure where a new threat appears, so Sadao and Chiho work together to neutralize it.
AUs and ships
I would prefer no setting changes for this story, because this shows premise is just way too good. I’m fine with any other AUs. One slight exception (since it’s a bit of borderline case between a setting and divergence AU) would be that I would love to see Sadao and Chiho working at a coffee shop chain instead of MgRonald's.
Please only focus on one pairing requested when writing. I’d rather not have a triangle situation and see either Ashiya or Chiho rejected (requested character feeling slight jealousy over Sadao getting along with someone else is fine, I just don’t want a full on rivalry). I’d also rather not see Sadao paired with anyone beside the requested characters.
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