#also i just dont like the smell of smoke in general

[soft-spooks]

well. i was going to watch say goodbye again tonight to celebrate pumkin carving but instead i listened to boy division by mcr and sent myself into a spiral of nostalgia fueled dissasociation so thats where im at

#i am 14 years old i have to go to school tomorrow im gonna see redacted tomorrow and shes gonna tell me to kms #ans then we'll talk about dp and she'll hold my hand and ill go to her house after school and #itll smell like cigarette smoke and old wood and we'll eat microwave pancakes and watch infinite realms or mbsav or hercules #ohhhh god man. oh fuck dude this sucks so bad #im home but im not home but i have to drive back to indy tomorrow and i dont want to bc then ill have to go back to work #and every part of me wants to be 14 again but also if i ever had to relive that i dont think i could handle it but like #mmmmmmmmmmmmm #mourning. my everything. #um. well. #hnnbjnghjgvg #i miss her so much but i hate her guts and i think if i ever saw her again id throw up #but like. nobody has loved me that much since then. and that wansnt even real it was all just. #manipulation tactic but i was an idiot and it felt real and #aaughh ok. ok no more thinking abt her but also that does not help the general #floatiness #nothing feels real i am going to phase througubthe ceiling and flost away into the atmosphere #like a balloon in the wind or whatever #i hate this but also this is home but also #man i really shouldnt have listened to that fucking song huh #delete later

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

tw: substances + possible child neglect + suicidal plans mentioned.

am i the asshole for occasionally smoking a joint when i am on videocall with my younger relative?

for context, she is 12, she is the literal light of my life, the reason i didnt off myself in my late teens / early twenties, the coolest smartest strongest most fun person i know. i would do anything for her and i mean anything i'd kill an angry bear barehanded idc.

however, i live in a different country, so most of what she wants from me is the occasional videocall, either to help with schoolwork or just to hang out. it doesn't happen more than twice a month, so i'm always really resistant to not take her calls.

i use weed both for medicinal and recreative purposes, and it's happened before that she called in the middle of a flareup that i needed to manage with weed. i also cant exclude this will happen again. part of my managing of my addiction is that when im having a 'feeling better' joint i take care to dose it lower, so it won't actually give me a high, but you know, there's margin for error there.

my conundrum is happening because i generally dont think its a great idea to expose children to drugs, but like, we're on videocall, she can't see or smell it, and i don't think she would be able to clock that there's anything weird about me. and im not supervising an amateur explosives building session, we're literally just doing homework. idk. am i the asshole? is this going to measurably impact her in a negative way? not the kind of opinion you should crowdsource, but i'm curious what you all think.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[fuck-customers]

🎂(8/21/23) This will be a bit long but now that I don't work at the bakery anymore I felt like sharing the list of things that customer's did that genuinely irked me amongst other feelings:

Things customers do or say at work that make me want to commit a war crime (+ my thoughts I can't say outloud):

"I want to get one of everything. 🤪" (Fun fact, 1 of everything is about $100)

"I'm shouldn't even be in here right now." (Then why are you???)

"I'm breaking my diet for this." (I don't care.)

I shouldn't be eating this I'm diabetic." (I have family that's diabetic. Please actually take care of yourself. 😐)

Does __ count for the B5G1F?" (No, it's actually only the vanilla cake squares. /s)

"Can I have one of that and one of that?" (The name. Is on the display case. SAY THE GOD DAMN NAME.)

"Are yall still open?" (You were able to open the door weren't you? You were able to step inside…weren't you??)

"Wow I got here just in time huh?"

(Yeah. You did. Now hurry the fuck up.)

after paying for the things they've already wanted "Can I actually get _ too?" (I can't really tell you no but holy shit why did you just now think of this?)

after paying for their things they proceed to look at all the merchandise and find something else "I'm gonna get this too." (Of course you are. 😐)

points at the devil's food cake, which is clearly labeled "Is this a brownie?" (Does it look??? Like a brownie??? If you move to your left about 4 feet you'll see actual brownies.)

"Can I get a devils food cake square?" "With which icing?" "…what do you mean?" "We have 3 different icing flavors for the devils food cake. Which icing?" "Oh. Chocolate. :)" (Fuckin- you can clearly see that we have 3 different icing flavors on display why is this so hard.)

"I don't get how you can work in here." (I need a paycheck and I get a good discount.

Also after a while you get bored of all the sugar.)

"I wouldn't be able to work in here. I'd eat everything. Haha" (Haha, yeah, I bet you would. 🙄)

literally anyone who comes in reeking of weed (…can you don't though? Idec that you smoke but why are you coming in when it's so strong???)

"Can I get a pint/quart of this flavor of ice cream?" (…why. I hate making pints and quarts its stupid and if the ice-cream is super frozen it's an actual pain in the ass.)

any family of 5+ that comes in all wanting ice cream (Please go away.)

"Can I get the pieces that have a lot of icing?" (Not really, cause the baker spread it pretty thin.)

*grown adult gets pouty when they realize that the cake squares I gave them had a

thinner layer of icing than the display* (Much like when you were a kid, pouting doesn't help. Do you want the cake or not?)

someone asks how good a certain item is I generally say it's pretty/really good. "Oh, its just pretty good?" (Yeah, cause I'm not a huge fan of that item. But you might like it cause, you know, different taste.)

Literally anyone who doesn't know the pick up name for a cake, or any details about the cake.

Wanting a fondant cake with a 24 hour notice and getting upset when we can't do it (fondant takes a least 2 days to dry)

People who forget which store they placed their order at. (We only have 2 locations????)

People who don't understand that we close early on Sundays.

People who leave the store reeking of weed. Like, the smell stays for like 5 minutes.

People who come in for a specific flavor that

we've never made. And get upset that we dont/wont/can't make it.

Everyone who doesn't understand that pumpkin spice and carrot cake are seasonal flavors that replace each other during the year. (And no. We can't just make you a carrot cake cake during pumpkin spice season because we physically don't have the ingredients.)

Everyone who doesn't understand the big 5 get 1 free deal.

People who try to open the door an hour before we open or an hour before we close and look visibly upset when they see me not move to let them in like we arent???? Open???

People who don't even try to open the door at our smaller store and think we're closed when we are open. (And people are often inside.)

People who try to hold a conversation for way too long

People who don't take an extra 2 minutes to look for what they want before asking me

where it is only for it to be a foot to their left.

People who dawdle at closing time.

People who leave their phone/cask/card in their car and have to run out to get it. They normally don't notice until their rung up.

People who try to break a $100 bill within the first hour of being open then get surprised when we don't have enough change to do that.

One of the worst interactions I had was in the bakery. This lady asked me if the strawberry cheesecake was good. I said "if you like strawberry it is." I guess that offended her somehow and she made it her mission to see my try a piece so I can tell her if it's good.

The problem with her plan is I'm allergic to strawberries. She was not having any of my "lies" and found anyone and everyone one and told them I am a horrible worker because I refused to "accommodate her request." She eventually ran into the only douche canoe manager we had at the time and got him to start insisting I try a bite to make her happy. I ended up just walking out on the rest of the shift and he tried to write me up. HR forced him to drop it when I threatened to sue.

-Rodney

[mailjeevasfan]

hi! love your work <3 can i request some headcanons about living with matt and mello (together) it can me romantic or platonic, i dont mind either way ! tysm :)

that pic came out so low quality for some reason

thank you so much :’) i tried to do a mix and include a little bit of romance for each but i’d say it’s mainly general/platonic. i reaaaaally self indulged here

-matt and mello x gn! reader

༺♡༻

living with matt and mello hcs ❦

matt

-messy asf. he doesn’t do it on purpose but he’s just so unorganised and has a messy room and just causes chaos wherever he walks. that being said, he does know where everything is which pisses mello off SO MUCH. mello also routinely berates him for his mess

‘matt, what the hell is this on the counter?’

‘umm… the end of a cigarette?’

‘WE HAVE FUCKING ASHTRAYS FOR A REASON.’

-he is probably the one who is at home the most. he doesn’t like going outside, he just sits in and plays video games or watches tv. he only does anything productive if he reaaally has to

-that being said, you have to drag him out sometimes to avoid him getting too depressed from just sitting doing nothing for days. if you can’t motivate him then mello will gladly accept the challenge and come through without fail.

-matt is deeply appreciative of how thoughtful you and mello are, as roommates but also as friends. how well you know him, how easy it is for you to see what he needs when he’s at his lowest. once, (probably when he was drunk) and falling asleep on your chest, he expressed this out loud for the first time and you almost wanted to sob at his words. he comes off as someone who’s always so casual and sometimes maybe even awkward, so hearing this was a shock but a good one.

-if matt isn’t sleeping or sitting on the couch playing video games, he is probably lying on the floor or just doing weird shit. i can imagine mello coming home and just seeing matt doing a handstand against the wall, watching something (5 minute crafts) on his phone on the floor.

-dyes his hair often and changes up his look very frequently, so very often you find yourself following the smell of cigarettes only to the open bathroom door and find matt looking like patrick bateman due to him washing off his hair dye in the sink (cigarette still lit in his mouth, it’s basically a party trick at this point)

-whenever you have to go out he drags you back to bed and holds you as tight as he can with a smirk on his face

-whether you’re a smoker or not, you often light his cigarettes for him and it ends up being a much more intimate gesture than you anticipated. mello tells you to get a room

༺♡༻

mello

-he’s out of the house the most between the three of you but that’s kind of a given. lots of work to do you know being in the mafia and all, that kind of casual stuff…

-idk where i’m going with this or how to even explain it any more, but he always makes a conscious effort to keep alcohol in the house at all times like he is always just coming home with a bottle of something

-has lots of cool rock/metal posters in his room and when he’s not in his usual leather clothes he’s wearing band tees (u and matt steal them frequently and he pretends to be mad)

-honestly i want to say (solely for comedic effect) that he absolutely despises the smell of cigarettes in the house. you’ve never seen desperation like the kind mello exhibits when he begs matt to PLEASE SMOKE OUT OF A WINDOW.

-there is 100% a designated cupboard that is full to the brim with chocolate. all the same brand, flavour, type, whatever. literally everything. it’s all identical.

-when he’s feeling down about messing something up, even if it’s the smallest thing, he gets really really emotional and will immediately go to his room. he probably doesn’t cry often unless it’s angry tears but he doesn’t want even his most trusted people to see him like that. however you always know what to do, you leave him be but then convince him that he should let out his thoughts later, in a kind way of course. matt also helps him to feel better at times but you’re definitely there to bring him his chocolate and give him lots of hugs and kisses. he doesn’t speak too emotionally, but i can imagine a very soft ‘thank you’ after you help him

-blasts metal at 9am. no further comments

༺♡༻

both/all three of you

-matt cuts mello’s hair and mello occasionally dyes matt’s. matt gets so into it he thinks he’s a little hairdresser. they’ve also given each other piercings, they have about a 40% success rate. they’ve offered to give you one but you very politely decline. you always have to supervise in these situations because god knows what is going to happen with these two

-it is extremely common to have mini sleepovers in each others rooms. this is another thing that matt just gets a little TOO into, he wants the full shabam. he’s looking for matching pyjamas, chick flicks on the tv, endless snacks, and pillow fights. by that i mean he just starts relentlessly beating you and mello with a pillow without warning

-matt likes to shake you and mello awake at an ungodly hour and declare that you are going for a drive. he never actually plans anything for these drives, sometimes you don’t actually do anything but you enjoy them nonetheless. however it is extremely hard to get mello out of bed at a time he hasn’t decided on.

-you do the cooking, purely for everybody’s safety. mello likes to think he’s gordon ramsay but he fucks up the most basic things. matt is just a natural hazard with most things

༺♡༻

#death note #mail jeevas #mello #mihael keehl #matt #matt x reader #mail jeevas x reader #mello x reader #mihael keehl x reader #death note x reader #death note headcanons #i had to include redhead matt at some point

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

Gojo headcanons bc ive got too much time on my hands

bro ate chalk as a kid and ive got proof

look at his kid self for a sec, he’s got a grown out buzzcut and the blue eyed stare. thats a chalk eater

you can’t convince me he’s a good swimmer

he’s lanky and tall, bro gets swept away the min he is near the ocean. he’s built to be shark food, sorry luv

the cloth he wears to cover his eyes is raggedy as hell

let me explain. he wears it constantly both in and out of battle, he wears it in any weather, and let’s be real he’s so odd that he probs sleeps in it sometimes

this leads me to believe that even tho he almost never gets hurt during a fight the blood and grime gets all up in the cloth

no amount of Tide or even acid could get rid of the STENCH that mask holds

it smells like ten cans of bounce that ass. one whiff could, quite literally, kill an old man

he’s a chronic podcast listener

tried to become one of those skater kids, failed miserably. geto never let him live it down

i think he’d make a great partner but if you listen to Hozier he will cause a scene

basically what im saying is he’s jealous of Hozier

Gojo knows that no matter how strong he is he will NEVER compare to that man’s vocals/lyrics and what they do to you

que Gojo trying to sing your fav Hozier song(s) but he can’t match the pitch which sends you into cardiac arrest

other than that he’s a pretty good singer, could probs serenade you to sleep

you know how everyone has an irrational fear? yuh his is birds

you ever see him interact with one in a normal way?

you see a bird, he sees a sack of organs with hollow bones that sore through the sky and sometimes they can talk

he pisses his pants when he sees a macaw

he’s a rich bitch and it’s a problem. not cuz he’s an ass abt it but bc he spoils the hell out of the teens

we know he would buy Megumi anything in the world but Yuuji and Nobara get the same treatment

he saw Yuuji’s orphaned ass and immediately transferred HUNDREDS to Yuuji’s bank acc

ain’t no student of his gonna be broke, that’s for sure

probs carries around pics of Megumi from when the teen was a kid

some are cute such as Megumi at the beach or having a fun at the zoo. others are of Megumi fighting for his life

i feel that when Yuuji entered the equation he also started taking pics of him during cute, fun, or important moments

very much sentimental older brother energy

whenever Gojo gets sick or injured he either becomes a massive baby or denies it until he’s dead

depends on the problem tbh. if he’s got a head cold he needs to be hospitalized but if he got his legs cut off he’d ignore it for weeks

you know how most men’s body wash or shampoo is named in, what’s considered, “masculine scents”

like redwood, campfire smoke, whiskey, fucking piss water

yuh he’s not a fan

i don’t think he’d really like those scents. in his mind, why does smelling like burnt coal or salt = masculine?

he probs just grabs whatever he likes, maybe orange scented stuff or even subtle vanilla

whatever cologne he wears tho is fucking delicious. you smell it and immediately your knees give out

i think if you gave him a huff of old spice tho he’d just disintegrate

im thinking of his general hygiene now, he has a solid routine

it’s not a million steps, probs just good quality face wash, serums, and moisturizer

that being said he suffered horrific back acne as a kid. dont ask how I know this, i will eat you alive

he looks and acts flawless but we know the truth. he sucks at card games

Yuuji’s biggest flex is he beat Gojo at go-fish 28 times in a row

he says calabunga and not a single person can stand it

that’s it for now, i’ll probs add more headcanons later

thanks for coming to my ted talk, i hope this post finds you before Sukuna does

(this is all mildly unedited, soz for mistakes)

#jjk #gojo satoru #jjk satoru #Gojo #jjk gojo #satorugojo

[oniikabuto]

general hcs ☆ south park

-- sfw --

characters: the main 4

a/n: it's literally midnight. i need to be up at 5am tomorrow. i'm writing about south park on tumblr.

synopsis: just headcanons of sp kids! their little quirks and habits and stuff

oh also aged up

...

— ⛧ e. cartman

has all of the really good snacks in his pantry

had a phase where he really wanted to be a garbage truck driver as a kid

listens to ariana grande and lady gaga

sings his heart out in the shower

refuses to admit it if you ever overheard him

weirdly sharp canines it makes him look like an evil little rodent

allergic to picking up after himself. there's literally a trail of shoes all the way up to his bedroom

never takes stuff out of his pockets before his mom washes his clothes but then gets pissed when his earbuds and stuff go through the wash

smells like baby soap

bites his pencils and they look horrendous

one time kenny asked to borrow a pencil and he threw it back almost immediately after feeling the bumpy chewed-up wood

thinks that menstrual products shouldn't be free because "can't they just hold it in??"

kyle will fight him about it

loves chocolate milk to death

— ⛧ k. mccormick

gappy teeth

but it looks cute on him

likes cds even though he doesn't have a cd player

always packs his lunch in the morning and karen's

there's little holes on the insides of his pockets and he has a habit of sticking his fingers through them and wiggling them without realizing

which make the holes bigger

keeps a porn magazine in his school backpack and leafs through it on the bus or in the library as if he's casually reading the news

sex jokes just SLIP out. he doesn't even think before he makes a sex joke.

his backpack is a mess and he uses the little pockets to store trash and edible wrappers and crumbs

has a disposable somewhere that he hits in the middle of class

kyle gives him a disapproving look when he stumbles into class high as balls

street smart but doesn't know how to do long division

favorite food is chicken nuggets with ranch

loves ranch (i fucking love ranch fight me)

will let you paint his nails

probably listens to tiktok music like mitski and radiohead and shit

also the smiths

— ⛧ k. broflovski

4.0 gpa all the way until that one A- in pe. junior year that dropped it to a 3.9

cried about it and sulked for weeks

stan almost left him because he got so sick of it (rockin that 2.9)

"dude it's not that big of a deal"

"MY LIFE IS OVER STAN YOU DONT GET IT"

keeps really organized notes- not just for him, but for the sake of his friends who take shitty notes

he has freckles idc if they said he's a daywalker HE HAS FRECKLES.

has a 10-step hair care routine every night

spends longer in the bathroom doing his hair care thing than his mother

spends 30 minutes every day watching tv with ike no matter what

gets violently competetive over kahoot

listens to the cure and elliot smith

keeps a different notebook for each class

— ⛧ s. marsh

always has at least one earbud in

sometimes when there's a lot on his mind, he gets very easily distracted

will step in the shower with his socks still on by accident

has a little crush on kyle (sorry style brainrot....)

used to read a lot as a kid, not really much anymore

unconciously messes with little papers or napkins in his pcokets and tears them to bits

gets like no sleep ever because he can't ever get off his phone or whatever he's doing long enough to try and get some sleep

still gets nauseous whenever he's near someone he has a crush on

terrible at articulating himself through text

if you want to show him a video or post, you would have to show him irl because he won't see the tag.

smoked weed once and decided it was overrated, but will sometimes get high if kenny asks or something.

loves vanilla flavored things even though it's basic

constantly has random change and wads of cash in his backpack because he's too lazy to stuff his things back into his wallet

#south park #south park hcs #south park headcanon #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #eric cartman #kyle broflovski

[dissectedgrrl]

okay so a while ago i mentioned a the good place rtc au

n so i finally made one :D

keep in mind this is j kind of a rough idea thing so not every detail is there but here are my ideas !! this also includes some headcanons for the characters so dont mind certain parts

------------------------

so it kind of follows the same plot as the show

karnak is like michael and he tells the choir where they are, what happened, etc

he got their names right + the fact that they were the choir n referred to as "the six saints" in the news

but he got their personalities mixed up with other students

he thinks they volunteered, helped out a lot of people, etc.

he doesnt know about mischa stealing wine, ocean bullying literally everyone, etc

but the choir knows its all wrong n have to find out what went wrong, how to get out, etc (just everything eleanor went thru)

------------------------

cast of characters :

Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg

she/her , lesbiaB, learning 2 languages, can speak 5

Ocean is in COMPLETE denial that she doesnt belong in the good place. i mean why wouldn't she ? shes ocean o'connell rosenburg. shes perfect. shes supposed to be here.

she tries to remain as perfect as possible while in the good place

she keeps calling karnak "god" no matter how many times he tells her there is no god in the good place. sometimes she does it on accident

the soulmate she got matched up with is constance

^ when she was told that she blurted out "WHAT ? WE ONLY KISSED ONCE !!!!" and everyone just kind of . . . . stared at her

most likely says the "all neutral people should go to Cincinnati" joke

Constance Blackwood

she/her, bilingual and bisexual

Constance doesn't want to leave the good place but she knows it isnt right for her to stay

she loves ocean, but being her soulmate takes a lot of patience (that constance sometimes doesnt have)

she got SO excited about the free froyo flavors

"mmm . . . . warm laundry flavor 😍"

when ocean said the kissing thing constance was j kinda like "🧍"

Savannah

("jane doe")

she/they/it, pan demisexual demiromantic (i swear im not projecting 😭 /srs)

i have a lot to say abt her 💀

since she doesnt know who she really is she tries to learn as much as she can in the good place

^ she always has a "why" to ask n gets frustrated if she cant figure something out

^ it LOVES learning

^ whenever something interests them they get really excited

karnak gave them their doll n when they asked why all he said was "shes nice"

^ ever since then shes LOVED dolls n just toys in general

its favorite thing to learn about is toys

it has a lot of toys n keep all of them in a toy chest

when she learned she could eat food she just didnt stop 😭

^ they LOVE food but their cooking skills arent the best . . . .

^ its favorite savory food is pizza. dont ask why they just like it . . . . all kinds of pizza too

she really really likes music as well

^ favorite artists are frank sinatra and edith piaf !!

its soulmate is ricky

^ she LOVES him like theyre so close (i havent decided if theyre gonna be platonic, romantic, or both, but for now lets j say theyre best friends !!)

^ her and rickys relationship kind of confuses her bc all the other souldmates kiss n hold hands n what not but her n ricky just kind of . . . . watch star trek and talk about their interests together

they HATE being photographed and recorded, the smell of smoke, big rollercoasters, and anything people use to smoke (weed especially)

it hates being called creepy and having people afraid of her

shes really nice and smart but no one (expect ricky n the rest of the choir) rlly gives them a chance :/

Mischa Bachinski

he/him, bi, speaks same languages as he does in canon universe

soulmate is noel

he loves music (we all know this) and listens to any recommendation he gets

has to try and keep calm while in the good place so no one gets suspicious

his weakness is animals . . . . show him a rabbit n he will cry istg

^ hes a dog person but tries to hid it bc noel prefers cats

he doesnt rlly like sweets but hes okay w the free froyo (only SPECIFIC flavors tho)

he asked karnak if his mom was also in the good place, but didnt get a straight answer, but karnak hinted at a yes

^ his goal is to find his mom while he has time in the good place

^ hes doing everything he can to find her and is convinced he gets closer every day

Noel Gruber

he/she, gay (and maybe bigender or genderfluid ? idk yet), speaks english n french

he rlly likes black coffee like . . . . a lot

^ mischa says he hates coffee, but hes never tried it so noel is determined to make him drink it

noel sees the good place as a second chance at life

^ she hopes to get to live out her monique dreams here

secretly hates mischa's music taste 💀

noel introduced jane to edith piaf !

Ricky Potts

he/they, pan + trans demiboy, can speak english n pig latin (when jane asked why he just said "itsyay ustjay oremay unfay anthay englishyay !")

he loves living with jane because he gets to ramble n he gets to hear her ramble as well

^ him n jane have cats ! :D

^ every other saturday night ricky n jane watch spiderman movies while eating pizza. they look forward to that saturday every week !

he actually CAN cook

he claims he doesnt have a favorite cat but Captain Butterscotch is always with him . . . . suspicious

one of their favorite pastimes is looking out the telescope thats in their backyard at night

^ he likes to name stars (even if they already have names)

------------------------

okay thats all i got so far ! if you have any suggestions or anything feel free to tell me ! srry if there are any spelling errors i wrote this down so fast bc i had to get these idea out or else i would implode 💔

#ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone musical #rtc au #ride the cyclone noel #ride the cyclone jane #ocean ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone mischa #constance ride the cyclone #rtc musical #ricky potts #penny lamb #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #jane doe rtc #rtc headcanons #ride the cyclone au #ride the cyclone headcanons #rtc #spacedolls #nischa #blackrose rtc #perfectsugar #ik ocean n constance hav two shipnames so included both ^_^

[bowtied-pasta]

Another callout post? On my blog? Yes.

If you simp for…

Slenderman

You have a suit kink

You absolutely have daddy issues and it’s terminal

Do I have to say anything about the tendrils or can we just all agree to not say anything about the tendrils?

Splendorman

You have a thing for that one trope where the characters are living in bliss until someone fucks with one of the characters and the other ones flips a switch and goes batshit trying to save them

How’s it feel to simp for a man that like 4% of the fandom recognizes enough to write about of their own free will?

You either headcanon he has a “normal” voice or that he has the silliest fucking clown shit going on, no in between

‘Fenderman

Much like Slender simps, I don’t believe I have to say anything about the very obvious attraction to tendrils that you have

How’s it feel to simp for a man that like 4% of the fandom recognizes enough to write about of their own free will?

You have your own version of him in your head and much like me, you have completely trashed the og scummy version of him and made him absolutely dateable

Kagekao

You probably hate wine

You have a thing for bullies that would absolutely be mean to you, regardless if that means they like you or not

You probably haven’t seen the art where his talon like toe nails actually fucking stick out of his stereotypical converse black shoes

Dark Link

You had a crush on Peter Pan when you were a kid

How’s it feel to like a character that 90% of the fandom doesn’t even know is a creepypasta?

Can I hear a “Ben is too much of a twink, so I became attracted to his goth twunk version instead.”

Zalgo

You want to be a prince/princess/royalty of some kind

You are a monster fucker and I cant explain enough how attracted to mouths you must be

You suffered through so many y/n fics that painted him as the bad guy, looking for a fic that would finally allow you to fuck him

Jeff

You absolutely read those y/n fics on quotev and wattpad and you were somehow smitten from the moment he cursed you out

You prolly have commitment issues or just emotional issues in general

You attempted an sfx version of his smile at least once. You cant lie to me

Jane

You are punk or you think punk is hot

You definitely have mommy issues

Tim

You have daddy issues

You tried smoking at some point because of this man, and if you decided you didn’t like it, you immediately moved on to try vaping

You probably like pink drinks from starbucks

Brian

Something something you like kidnapping tropes

In addition to that, you probably also like this man as a yandere

Dont even get me started on your mask kink, you cant deny it

Toby

You probably have adhd

You very likely believed his favorite food was waffles at some point, no matter how long you thought so

You like found family fics

Ben

You dont communicate very well at all

You like to call yourself a gamer. Wether or not that’s true is up for debate and I quite frankly don’t care enough to have said debate

You either despised the canon green hair picture of BEN that came out or you like it. There is no in between

E Jack

You would trust this man to patch your wounds and I can’t tell you enough how wrong you are for that

You have never tried to actually taste what kidneys are like, but growing up, you would answer those y/n quizzes as if you had eaten many organs in your short life

You, for some reason, think this man would smell good… and I’m sorry you think that

L Jack

I said this last time, but you fuck clowns

You like to say you don’t have a favorite candy, but if this man happened to give you something you didn’t like then you would be incredibly disgusted… but we both know you would eat it anyway

You don’t know if you prefer his monotone lack of color or if you think his rainbow self is nicer, but stripes… my guys, stripes just does it for ya, huh?

Helen Otis

You either are an art major or you make the mistake of over romanticizing the major by thinking it’s sexy

You can’t draw to save your life

Therapy sessions probably sound like a good date idea to you

The Puppeteer

You listened to Discord by Mandopony a lot when you were growing up

You have a bondage thing and refuse to admit it

You hate dolls because their creepy, but hell if you dont wanna be this mans “doll” for some reason

#slenderman #splendorman #offenderman #kagekao #dark link #zalgo #jeff #jane #masky #hoodie #ticci toby #ben drowned #eyeless jack #laughing jack #helen otis #the puppeteer

[idealspawn]

fuck. i feel so fucking bad. i hate how i sometimes shut down and cant communicate my thoughts right away. and i cant really even vocalize that i need time either. i just lose my voice and freeze. i made the guy feel uncomfortable i think. like he said everything is fine but like. like . like. he is confused but like like like like like its not like i wasnt ever planning on elaborating bc im actually really good at communicating i just like. am weird sometimes. and i told him that. and all is well but i feel so bad that i literally just said nothing when he tried to talk to me about it. he wanted to sleep w me and i was okay w it at first bc i want it too but i was high for the first time after like 2 months and literally so disoriented and i freaked out like i barely even recognized him, i was THAT high. and then just froze and shriveled and said nothing and kept repeating that i dont know anymore and cant explain it rn. he stopped immediately the moment he noticed sth was off and asked if i was uncomfortable and/or afraid of him as in nervous. and he tried to talk abt it even when we werent high anymore and he blamed himself a lot which is so sad bc thats not it and then tried to like i guess move slower and said its ok if im not ready but the next 2 days we were together i literally just said nothing when he tried to make advances or talk abt why both of us acted awk and i like just acted like nothing happened but like still made moves on him and was okay with like other stuff just not like sleep-sleep w him. i kept sending mixed signals. i also was like so weird and quiet in general the entire time i was w him and i said i was in an odd mood and he pinky promised it wont affect anything and that he likes multidimensional people and its okay that im diff sometimes. i drank alcohol the entire time i was there too and fuck. idk im just. so fucking weird. he said its ok he is nervous and scared too and like i just fucking said nothing i dont know whats my fucking problem. fuck. like it was actually really fun too most of the time. we did graffiti and looked at the stars when we were lying down in this tower near like mmmm a big beautiful singing stage (???) and smoked his last lucky cigarette and did fun stuff on playgrounds at night and the moon and the clouds were so beautiful. the clouds were exactly like in suzume when the sky collapsed. then we cooked together, it was so fun to shop together and then we watched moomins and it was actually really nice. i picked him a nickname by opening a book on a certain page number and picking a word blindly. and he read me the little prince in french bc we both know french too and its a sentimental book to him. he sang me songs and played the guitar. he also surprised me by playing one of "our" songs and i literally started to cry. and he altered these lyrics in this one song so it applied to us and it was so sweet. i wear oversized clothes and he put my sweatshirt on and i had his jean jacket and bracelet on the entire time. he looked so nice in my hoodie and he didnt want to take it off and kept hugging it. i think probably bc it smells like me. i said i came from the moon, that they switched me when i was 5. he said he isnt even from this solar system. it was cute. made me not feel insane lol. its just like.. im a literal idiot sometimes. he was supposed to come to my place today and he asked if its okay if he comes tomorrow bc he is very confused and scattered and slow today and i think its bc of me and i feel so bad. like its okay he comes later but i intended on explaining what happened w me to him today and i just want to fix everything fast and i dont want him to feel bad and fuck. i fucking dont know. i asked him if he is confused bc of me but he hasnt answered yet. i feel so fucking bad. like all is well he said that a million times but i just want to fix everything now and immediately but not over texts....

[ferrethyun]

gimme ur poly skz hcs for omega verse au i wanna know how they interact with our alpha y/n hand them over bc after i’m done vacuuming this house i’ll pop back with more alpha y/n and bunny boy y/n hcs,,,it’s an equal opportunity trade,,,,,invest in my business lol

Fuck yeah lets go! i like dis business

I also kept this quite short so that I possibly have a chance to talk abt their individual interactions in the future hehehe

aight so i kinda see the members as:

Alphas: Chan, Minho, reader, Changbin and Jeongin (u know,, for the funsies)

Beta(s): Jisung (sorry bby boy)

Omegas: Hyunjin, Felix and Seungmin

General pack Hcs:

Y/ns the same age as Chan so you know,, obligatory growing up together headcanon as u do.

The two of them had kinda just unconsciously decided that they were each others pack.

other members aquired through the years yada yada time for the good shit

Alpha Y/n smells like Musk, pine and campfire smoke and u cant tell me otherwise.

everyone fuckin loves it and so a lot of the objects in the house,,, smell of musk, pine and campfires.

Other pack members also get equal opportunities to scent objects for their other lovers but they tend to not usually leave the house

Not uncommon for anyones clothes to go missing at a moments notice and a day or so later the house is covered in the stuffy smell of heat

Heat and Ruts are easily one of the hardest times for all of them because everyones effected by it. Omegas becoming even more submissive (even to the alphas not in rut) and the other alphas getting aggressive with the other alphas in the pack

they dont mean to but its just so hard for them :(

Y/n in rut is never a good time for anyone tho bc he cant help those effected bc of him without losing control n it makes him upset.

his boyfies will tell him its fine and that hes always helping them so let them help him for once

he declines most the time :(

Y/n being the decider of when cuddle puddles are needed and calling them at the most random times just so that he can have all his loves in one place and dote on all of them? yes

probably has a weak spot for the omegas and they know it too

they get away with so much when they go to Y/n

Y/n gets scolded by chan for being so lenient with them 

but theyre so cute >:(

#Admin Tea #uwu nonny #stray kids x male reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids headcanons #stray kids scenarios #stray kids omegaverse #omegaverse au! #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #lee felix x reader #han jisung x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #(Headcanons) #poly stray kids x reader #(Poly au)

[amazinglyegg]

Egg!!!!!!! I wanna kno. What companions you thing would smoke the za? Which companions would enjoy it or hate it or not wanna try it again?

Finally, now THIS is a good companions react!!!

Side note you almost got a "companions react to pizza" because I did NOT know what "za" was slang for. I was very confused on why companions would smoke pizza. I am not a cool druggie :(

Also also I Have Never Touched A Drug Ever so all my information comes from spying on my older sister and her friends "doing their homework in the backyard" when I was like seven. Enjoy.

Companions React to: Weed

Cait:

Yeah sure why not

Pre Benign Intervention she already does a shit ton of psycho so she wouldn't turn down weed

Post Benign Intervention probably won't continue though for obvious reasons

Not the type of person to make it her entire personality though

Codsworth:

Maybe???

Okay okay I know he can't actually smoke it BUT

It's not like they'd program a mr handy to snitch on their owner for slurping on the bong (is that what they do??? That's what it sounds like)

If Sole's having a good time with friends then Codsworth's happy to be the designated sober friend :)

Curie:

Will only try it if its edibles

Smoking is BAD FOR THE LUNGS and she's the type of person to smell someone smoking weed from across the road and complain about it

She is interested in seeing what being high is like and there's no real risks to it so she's down for experimenting

Probably won't do it again but she enjoyed the experience

Danse:

Medical use marijuana?? More likely than you may think

NOT a partier tho. Will take his One (1) perscribed gummy bear he keeps in his weekly pill organizer and frown at anyone who even mentions the number 420

Makes it surprisingly easy to sneak it past him tho. "I'm making weed brownies.... for medical reasons.... the baking helps with my anxiety as well. Don't eat them."

Deacon:

Oh yeah totally [lie]

You would 100% THINK he's the guy to smoke pot. He knows all the code words. He wears the weed shirts. He knows what "za" means.

But deep down he's a fraud

After getting clean from hard chems he really just does not want to touch any drugs or be around high people in general

His deep insecurities and fear of being abandoned as soon as he's unlikeable will leave him too scared to admit any of that though, so he'll end up smoking just to fit in if he can't find a good excuse to do otherwise

Desdemona:

Has probably done it as a teen and probably enjoyed it but won't do it again

She is too important to the Railroad to ever be inebriated

Unless Glory convinces her to take a break and then mayybbee she'll get high with her

Takes a lot of convincing though and will probably only happen as a celebration for destroying the Institute

Father:

Sole will blow smoke in his face and he will die right there and then he is Too Old

Gage:

Gage canonically doesn't like drugs but come on he'd smoke weed

Just a little bit. As a treat. Not the type of person to get ridiculously high for hours

Probably had a bunch of bad highs in the past and now is too scared to do it again around others

Hancock:

Not only does he enjoy it, he's like, Into It

Knows all the different kinds of strains and will shit talk your dealer if you show up with Low Quality Weed

Don't ask him too many questions or else you'll be listening to him explain the details of every strain for three hours straight

Maccready:

NO drugs are BAD and he needs to be a GOOD INFLUENCE for his SON

Ends up getting FOMO immediately and tries it.

Probably enjoys it??? Idk bro this is such a hard prompt I DONT KNOW WHAT WEED IS LIKE

Maxson:

I give up

Nick:

This comic is all you need

Piper:

Would try it if Sole gave it to her

NOT IN FRONT OF NAT THOUGH

Would enjoy it

Uses all the terminology wrong though

Preston:

Lets be honest he needs it

Probably won't like it recreationally and good luck getting him to a doctor so he can get it medically

But medical marijuana would be helpful for him pls get him some

X6-88:

He's a teen boy who's rebelling from his parents (the institute) for the first time so of course he tries it

Acts like he enjoys it even if he doesn't

Does this

Bonus Carrington because I have a good guess on who sent this ask:

#i hope i am not wrong guessing who sent the ask otherwise Carrington With A Blunt will be very awkward #please dont unfollow me for this mutuals im trying my hardest #not even going to tag it. i dont dare.

[stunfiskz]

Raj, Emma, and Damien for the character ask?

raj

sexuality headcanon: gay

gender headcanon: i hc him as a cis guy but i do think trans hcs for him are nice!

a ship i have with said character: rajbow, one of my fav canon ships <3

a brotp i have with said character: him and wayne obv!!

a notp i have with said character: dont care for romantic rayne

a random headcanon: he's been traumatized by those anti smoking psas, is terrified of cigarettes and cannot STAND the smell of smoke

general opinion over said character: i think he's nice! he's not a character i think of super deeply though, just general "he seems like a nice young man :)" yknow

emma

sexuality headcanon: sapphic, i don't have any specific sexuality hc for her beyond that

gender headcanon: depends on the day on if i hc her as cis or trans tbh LOL schrodinger's transgender

a ship i have with said character: EMZEE i LOVE THOSE TWO, honestly im mainly just happy w any emma ship where she'd be happy <3

a brotp i have with said character: her and bowie im so fond of those two they even made me motivated enough to write a fic i love themm

a notp i have with said character: chase x emma i will kill that boy with hammers

a random headcanon: she's a theatre kid, specifically obsessed with modern musicals. her favorite is six :)

general opinion over said character: i love you emma i love you emma i love you emma <3 she deserves the world and the large majority of the fandom does not understand her and it makes me so sad

damien

sexuality headcanon: straight, i can also see him as somewhere on the aro spectrum

gender headcanon: hes trans . this is like canon in my brain i forget not everyone thinks he is

a ship i have with said character: i like scarydamien in a "i want to put them in a terrarium" way

a brotp i have with said character: i think him and millie bonding over nerdy stuff is a really cute idea :)

a notp i have with said character: idk. i guess him x chase or ripper because i dont like either of those two

a random headcanon: he had a huge mlp phase when he was little and collected the little figures. his fav of the mane six was twilight

general opinion over said character: i love you damien, the silliest of little guys... if he isn't top 2 next season i'll sob and cry

#ask

[poopyballz28]

Random Katou headcanons

out of every character i couldve been obsessed with it had to be the super underrated one with problems 😒

• My man wears EYELINER. If you notice he'll be all like "Huh, I- WHO? Whats eyeliner?" or some shit.

• But if you really asked him why he wears it he'd probably be like "I just, think it looks cool or whatever."

• Kiyosumi putting his hands in his pockets is his coping mechanism when faced in an embarrassing or awkward situation. He just puts his hands in his jacket pockets and just fiddles with his hands a bunch, its cute.

• Now this is kind of a take. I BELIEVE. That he is a bit sadastic. He thinks it's kinda hot to hurt other people and probably likes to traumatize people because, I dont know, he thinks its funny. (he is the worst character)

• He has his ears pierced and wears cool black earrings all the time. He's also got a tongue piercing that he thinks is really sick.

• High school was an interesting time for him, he was very much a delinquent and did a lot of shitty, arrogant things. He got his ears pierced around this time as well. His usual thing was getting into stupid fights with other kids or, on the occasion, adults. (he'd never lose either.)

• Doppo is very much like a father to Kiyo. He has definitely called him Dad by accident and is still super embarrassed about it.

• He's really into grungy American hood aesthetics and english hiphop music from the 90's and 2000's. He's also into some hard Japanese rock bands he used to listen to when he was younger.

• He used to play electric guitar in a band when he was in high school. He was really good too. He fell out of the instrument though, unfortunately. He really liked it, and he doesn't know why he quit playing but he gets a bit sad thinking about it. The guitar just sits in its case inside of his dirty closet.

• He drinks often to just get all of the stress of his life off his mind. His apartment floor is covered in empty beer cans he doesn't clean up. He'll get to them eventually.

• I don't care what anyone says but I will always see him as a hardcore stoner.

• He's gotta be pretty down low about it too, especially it being Japan and all. He smokes in his bathroom and just hope no one from outside his apartment picks up a smell.

• Even though he takes precautions he still fucking REEKS of weed. It's like he doesn't even try to hide it like how are you not in prison.

• Kiyosumi Katou. Avoiding police since...ever

• If you really think Katou is confident in his body and himself in general, he tricked you so fucking hard. I can't blame you completely though he's pretty convincing. He just genuinely doesn't like himself.

#baki headcanons #baki son of ogre #baki dou #baki hanma #baki the grappler #anime #manga #katou kiyosumi #kiyosumi katou

[blair-the-juggalho]

Smoking the devils lettuce with Mitch (TWDG)

Super dumb idea but I need to write my thoughts. Also yes I based some of these of my own experiences shhh!

Sorry if there are any mistakes, there too many words here to reread 💀

Dont smoke kids. If ya do do it safely please.

You’ve smoked weed before (sorry if you havent but this is the way it’s gonna go this time)

Mitch had only once stole a cig from his dad when he was a child.

He hated it and started chocking

However he told everyone he smoked the whole thing without coughing once-

You most likely found a ten bag with some normal cigs when scavenging about and obviously you where stoked!

You could make about 4 joints with it

But heres the big question

To share or Not to share?

You knew you couldn’t let everyone know! I mean Jesus Ruby would kill you.

But this is a treat for staying alive ok?

You sat in your room preparing the joints

Meanwhile, Mitch walked past your room and could notice a horrid stench Coming from inside.

He knocked on and opened your door while coving his nose

“Shit What the fuck is going on in here??”

Oh shit…probs should of put a candle out or use some air freshener…

“Oh hey Mitch…🙂”

“What the fuck is that?”

“…a joint…”

“Holy shit a real one?”

“Well duh.”

“Rad…”

You (being very nice and generous) offered to share it with him!

He agreed exitedly but you can tell he was a little nervous

He closed the door behind him and sat next to you

You light the first joint and take a few drags then hand it over to Mitch

He tried to put on a cool bad boy act but his hand was shaking

“You know weed is very over exaggerated in most TV shows and movies right? You’ll just feel dizzy then after a few minutes you’ll feel more relaxed.”

Mitch nodded and relaxed a bit before taking a drag

A few more drags later and you both start to feel it kicking in

I doubt he’d be paranoid as long as you both are smoking indoors, if you guys ever did it outdoors he’d be freaking out (seeing walkers and hearing noises and such)

And I don’t think he’d throw up he felt a bit sick the first time but not enough to throw up

After the first joint is over he really mellows out!

He’d put on some music and just unwind

Like I said before, as long as he’s indoors he’s just a quiet high kinda guy

He’s so relaxed and calm unlike his usual hot headed self

He’d only get the giggles if you guys where smoking the weed That’s for ya body and Not your head (soz im proper stupid and don’t know the actual terms lmao)

After you guys finish the joints you both use a whole bottle of spray on deodorant to try to cover up the smell

It’s still painfully obvious tho

He wouldn’t really want to leave Ericssons but he would if you really wanted too

Most of the time you two end up walking around Ericsson life Ring to music (And trying to hide from everyone)

Also idk how but if you two ever get your hands on a sugary drink you both take turns drinking it SO you can feel your get all tingly lmao!

Also omfg when the munchies kick in you two are kinda fucked.

You two try and sneak into where Omar keeps any ingredients and shit and Just scran it all

“I feel so weird…I can taste the food but i cant feel anything in my stomach…it doesn’t even feel like I have a stomach.”

“Yep…me too mitch.😌”

Also one last thing, you two got caught.

And you got shouted at…ALOT

By ruby ofc.

Have funnn :)

#twdg #twdg x reader #the walking dead game #twdg mitch #twdg headcanons

[otteroflore]

my partner works outside so we've been paying attention to the air quality reports because the smoke from canada has been causing bad air quality all week in illinois. I happened to mention it to my aunt and she called me back today and asked where i found the information and said her kids have a softball game today. apparently the app she uses for weather doesnt show the air quality number and doesnt clearly indicate the level.

accuweather shows:

in her region, so im surprised they didnt cancel the softball thing already. Two of her kids have breathing issues, I think one has asthma, so she's gonna call the park district where its going on.

it just makes me think like, my aunt is generally very attentive to stuff going on that could make the kids sick (or my grandparents, who she lives with and could also be impacted by this); i wonder how many other people arent aware of whats going on because it doesnt look too bad outside.

i mean, its not like the sky is orange like in NYC or black with smoke like in Canada where the fires actually are but if you pay attention you can smell stuff in the air at certain times and theres a slight fog in the distance. but it still feels like there should be a more significant emphasis on this on the news, and also how to stay safe. like my partner is wearing a mask working outdoors but we dont even know what works best.

#shutupotter #weather #canadian wildfires #news

[noona96n]

Hey off topic maybe a bit weird questions but do you have favourite beyond evil fics?

Or fics in general for any fandom tbh I'm interested in your tastes but beyond evil is where I'm at rn and you like that show, so..

my absolute fav Beyond Evil fics that i implore u to read it 🥺👉👈

here is the deepest secret (everyone knows) WIP, NOT RATED

like pressing buttons E

consign me not to darkness G

a cherry-petal eye G

in my breath again T

prison visit M

devotion as a blood sport T

on the hook of your splendor E

other Beyond Evil fics that i also love

reeled in E

i don’t know much about gentleness, but i will protect you from now on. T

in the fields that day M (TAGS)

cat whisperer T

and i watch you breath as i stood bleeding T

i'll wait by the stairs for you, wrapped up in smoke T

my own soul's warning T

i carry my love for you like my teeth T

tempest. T

the social network

wend and repeat (until true) E

in the details M

read 73 between 76 the 85 lines T

doing it right E

MCU

blóð ok Íss: a Fairy Tale E (PAIRING)

eidolon M (PAIRING)

the act of creation will be your salvation M

she is not a terra-cotta warrior T

the supersoldier's amnesiac groom E

tin soldier T

every shade of you T

nirvana in fire

provenance M

catharsis G

no grave can hold my body down NOT RATED

a rose by any other name would smell as sweet M

you've got mail T

the origin of pearl T

your hair is time E

a suitable man T

bleach

seed E (TAGS)

always leaving NOT RATED

star wars

an inevitability E (TAGS)

mission reports G

perceptions G

currents E (PAIRING)

waking up besides you im a loaded gun E (TAGS)

eleven stars G

handpicked G

minute E (PAIRING+TAGS)

dreamfield E

even as E (PAIRING+TAGS)

to have and to hold E (TAGS)

naruto

anchor up to me love M

blessed T

change fills my time M

rest with me until a brighter day M

everyday is exactly the same T

fate & circumstances T

fill your mouth with berries E

shadows in the sand E

touch-starved T (PAIRING)

sunburned T (PAIRING)

got7

dear desperado, i dont wanna be alone T

coming home G

spades two E

we best love

ten, twenty, infinity (hold me) T

querencia E

bungou stray dogs

of days past T

o children (give my gun away when it's loaded) M

the mourning after M

brute E

the king eternal monarch

the stars are filming us for no one E

the oppa trap E

figure skating (RPF)

tête-à-tête G

ur shadow on the back of my hand G

sherlock

the imaginary friend G

misdialed T

reigen seliger geister NOT RATED (TAGS)

jujutsu kaisen

u hear the day beckoning T

countdown to success T

the care & feeding of T

instructions for self destruction T

the old guard

shoreline T

hannibal

phillia E (TAGS)

wolf & i E (TAGS)

the fault in my code E (TAGS)

my roommate is a detective

domesticity is intimacy earned G

star trek

into dust E

gravity falls

imprinting M (PAIRING)

mad maxy fury road

the allmother of the citadel T

howl's moving castle (ghibli movie)

hearts & their consumption T

the lord of the rings

the long road T

the gap between us NOT RATED

and miles to go before i sleep T

chernobyl (hbo)

they that do not deserve the light E

stray kids

kim & bang T

harry potter

and we mend our broken wings T

and in their triumph die, like fire & powder T

2 moons

doubt ur intentions T

eagle of the ninth

what is begotten T

haikyuu

on stranger tides T

brunch friends M

shining stars T

i have like 600 fics bookmarked as 'favorite', so, uh, sorry if there are too many, i just couldn't decide which one to rec esp when there's no specific fandom 😭✋

also, im fully aware that some fics are v disturbing but they're written so beautifully despite the subject matter but also my tolerance is fckn high as fck i read dead dove do not eat fics w/o batting an eyelash lmao

also also i was forced to wrap up here bcs i reached 100 links limit rip sorry about that... hope u enjoy this long and draw out list tho 😅 and if u want more, im happy to continue the list lol

#fanfic #beyond evil #star wars #naruto #bleach #the social network #marvel cinematic universe #nirvana in fire #got7 #we best love #bsd #sherlock #jujutsu kaisen #the old guard #star trek #gravity falls #noona96n #ask