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#also he needs a nose piercing bc i said so and everyone looks good w one
sanriokamabodo · 9 months
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college!bf douma
A/N: im struggling w writers block + had a heavy day so i decided to write smth i conjured up instead of a request!i will be back in business soon my sweets!heehee<3 if y'all want a part two feel free to ask djdjd
CW's: hes kinda sleazy in the beginning, reader sucks at math. suggestive themes>:) douma is goth in my college au bc i said so. the day i proofread is the day i die!
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A psychology major with a minor in religious studies. Doesn't practice any religion himself but finds the subject interesting nevertheless.
Barely studies but somehow manages to pass with flying colours.
That one hookup you regret with all your might, let me elaborate;
Douma tutors math and it's no coincidence he slept with majority of the people he tutored.
No, you're not an exception. Cute try though!
Something about Douma's piercings, his choppy hair that he probably cut himself and his 'don't give a fuck' attitude managed to dissolve your IQ and last bit of self respect around him.
He knows how to give you just enough attention to keep you interested, but little enough for you to purposely screw up your math tests for an excuse to see him.
Yes, he mocked your intelligence by asking if rats ate your brain or whether you were just born this stupid, but the way he ruffled your hair as he fake-pouted at you made something bubble in your stomach.
It's no surprise you ended up with Douma in the men's restroom, a hand smacked tightly over your mouth that day.
You weren't allowed to ride the high of having hooked up with the hottest guy on campus for long.
Throughout the night you were bombarded with messages from your friends, all of them being about Douma. Why didn't you tell them? Was he good? ... Was he big?
You thought your heart was going to thump out of your chest. Sweaty hands refreshing the messages five, ten, twenty times.
This had to be a sick joke, right? Was this Douma's true nature?
About to throw your phone away in defeat, it vibrated once more. You didn't want to look but curiousity got the better of you.
[Douma, 11:06]: I think we need to talk.
Your chest thundered with anger at the message.
[Y/n, 11:07]: You think!?
[Douma, 11.07]: I know you don't owe me anything, but can we please meet somewhere?
[Y/n, 11.08]: I don't feel like showing my face today, thanks:)
We're you being dramatic? Maybe a little. But you were an introverted person. Being known by everyone on campus wasn't on your to-do list, and the reason why just made it that much worse.
[Douma, 11.08]: Text me your adress, I'm coming over.
[Y/n, 11.09]: No.
[Douma, 11.10]: Please, give me a chance to set things straight. I'll fix it, I promise.
You pondered for a moment. Fuck it, what's the worst that could happen? You texted him the address of your dorm and within an hour you heard a knock on your door.
Opening the door Douma stood on your doorstep, looking rather apologetic. You waved him inside, a thankful smile grazed his lips.
"I like what you did with the place."
"Shut up."
"Fair enough." He nodded.
"So..?"
"I did tell my friends we hooked up." He said, making you scoff. He threw his hands up defensively, before you could say anything.
"But! But! I didn't want them to tell everybody else..! They know I like you... a lot."
A small blush across up your cheeks at the sudden confession.
"You like me?"
Now you've done it, Douma started rambling.
"I get really fucking dumb about crushes. I wanted to text you all the time but I didn't want to come across as creepy. I thought we could just... hook up and I would forget about my stupid little crush and of course it just made me like you even more, because c'mon you're hot as fuck." He sighs pinching the bridge of his nose dramatically. "So what I'm trying to say here is that I would really like to make it up to you because I'm really fucking sorry and I would also really, really like to take you on a date and have a fresh start, please?" A shy smile painted his features.
You laughed. You were stupid if you were to deny him like this, especially considering you really liked him too.
"I'd love to go on a date with you."
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shesawriter39049 · 3 years
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|UNWRAP ME| M|
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Pairing : Jimin X Reader (Ft a lil Tae)
“There’s a bow on my panties because my ass is a present!”
About- Honestly, you were just trying to prep gift bags for your company’s holiday party! But Jimins stressed, and needs a little brain reset sooo….I guess we’re prepping gift bags later!
Or- The company has quite a few deadlines to hit before you guys close for the holiday! Jimin’s in charge of talent and everybody’s fucking up…but in your line of work it’s a domino affect! So if his crew falls behind ultimately everybody’s behind! Hints Jimin’s stress and frustration....
WC: Sneak peek (1k)
WARNINGS: (FULL THING): Teasing, light edging, dirty talk, top/bottom OC, top/power bottom Jimin, hand restraints, unprotected sex, over stimulation, fingering (F receiving), biting/marking kink, VERY light degration kink (he playfully calls her a “little bitch/slut” once) light come play, light spanking
FINAL NOTE: This is a stand alone smut drabble within my OT7 poly universe called “7 DEEP”. Short AU SUMMARY: Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with! P.S. If you’re new here Kookie joins the party a little later….
*Pierced Jimin/Red haired “Dope” Era Jimin meets 2020 Jimin!?
*Also it should go without being said but Jimin, IS Westernized, he’s from LA in this ffs!
*In true Rocki fashion I decided to do holidy prompts late af & did not finish in time for the main Holiday but w/e! Note, there is some backstory here bc this was set to be the 1st of 3 holiday prompts!** ___________________________________________________
Sunday, December 14TH, 4PM 
“Alright, so you wanna hear some bullshit?!”
K, well that’s apparently Jimin, musing around a mouth full of fries! I love how no one even bothers to knock, give notice they just show the fuck up! Whenever...
Cute.
I swear it sounds like your running a damn liquor store because there’s an obnoxious amount of bells and mistletoe hanging above the door almost acting as a doorbell at this point. Just casually Fa-la-laing together, echoing throughout your entire apartment every damn time the door opens! Honestly, your slowly regretting giving Jin and Tae free reign with decorations because that shits annoying as all hell!
Gaze still focused on your original task, not even looking in his direction “Don’t trip over the-“ There's a loud thud, followed by an obscene groan, accompanied by an even louder “Fuckkk!” Which solidified he did in fact trip over the ....
“....Box with Jin’s other Christmas tree in it ...” The words kinda died off your tongue at this point because well, clearly the warning did not fare well! “If anything’s broken I’m totally snitching just so we’re clear” Sassing over a half empty glass of spiked eggnog.
Now that you’ve finally looked at him, you find yourself hiding a smirk behind your cocktail as well! The boy is fine, you’d give him that! Looking like a model off duty, in his low cut white v, neck hidden beneath a distressed leather jacket! Topping off the look with a pair of chunky combats and disrespectfully tight dark wash denim jeans! I swear they damn near looked painted on, aviators resting on the bridge of his nose! Gucci backpack slung over his shoulder, Starbucks in one hand, and some brown bag full of grease in the other! Jimin recently went back red, looking dangerously close to the same 18 year old you met, at UCLA almost years ago now!  Just a boujier version, it’s like this Jimin’s from Calabasas instead of the Bay! Though your down for both options if we’re being real!
Not that Jimin’s not equally as good of company as well, you were honestly just expecting Tae! The two of you were starting to put together the gift bags for next week's holiday party! Hints the hot ass mess all over the floor of your living room, it’s a disgusting pile of shopping bags and boxes! Everything from Amazon to Saks Fifth, at this point you aren’t even sure where the fuck your floor starts or ends! One thing you do know for damn sure is Hobi’s going to have an aneurysm If he sees it! Sooo, hopefully Tae shows up sooner than later...
It’s become a tradition, or at least since the companies been profitable enough to do so! First off, you’re love language has always been a combination of “Gifts” and “Acts of service, so shit like this is essentially second nature!
However, quality time has slowly slipped its way into the mix over the past couple of years as well! Especially considering it’s almost a luxury for the seven of you at this point but you try not to complain! I mean Namjoon and yourself just did an interview last week for Forbes 30 under 30 for fucks sake! But anyway, like I was originally saying this little party is your way of trying to give your staff a combination of all 3 said love languages!
Above everything else you all work your asses off well, aware this is far from a 9-5, yet they give you their best constantly! Yeah, it was built on the backs of you and your boys but it wouldn’t be were it is now without everyone else! So, with that being said the schedule is as follows! 
1.Bust ass and hit all of your year end deadlines by December 22nd. 
2.The holiday party is on the 23rd...
3. Thennnnnn....after that the companies closed until the 2nd of January! 
Well kinda, if we’re being real the 7 of you never fully stop working, but you damn sure plan to try! I guess it’s the beauty and the curse of having damn near everything accessible on your phone! I swear this morning Joon was washing your back whilst you read him the latest profit/loss update from Jin soooo......that’s that!
Everyone else however....off duty with pay!
Which brings us back to the original task at hand before Jimin showed up,prepping the gift bags that get handed out at said holiday party! The invite list is pretty exclusive honestly,outside of your staff, and there plus one, the other guests are typically the immediate crew/ talent used throughout the year on various productions! Oh, there’s also special little packages mailed out to a couple of the company's sponsors as well! So all together were looking at at least 100 gift bags give or take! Of course at this stage you guys go all out but that’s not what it’s about! It’s legitimately the thought that counts!
Little gestures like this just remind people that you care,that they’re on your mind even if they aren’t currently doing you a favor! That’s what sets Onyx apart, all the little things you do without even thinking about it! Coffee, donuts, catering on set for long shoots,or even the little kits Jimin brings with him to set for the models! Fully stocked with soothing cream, heating pads, the full nine! It’s actually sad how much of a rarity it is in your line of work! 
Obviously, it goes without saying that those types of gestures aren’t feasible for everyone....However there’s companies worth more than you that do amples less!
But anyway back to Jimin and Tae! As I mentioned when the door originally opened you were expecting a mop of silver locks as opposed to red! Baby boy ran out to pick up the custom gift bags from this Indie vendor in WeHo. Hint’s why you were expecting Tae instead, now, why Jimins here I have no damn idea! Clearly we’re about to find out and apparently it’s “Some Bullshit!”
Honestly outside of checking his OOTD you didn't truly look at him. Far too busy propped on top of your oversized dining room table sorting through a manusery of  “Thank you” cards!
Eyes flicking to the left ever so slightly as you hear him shuffle closer “I-yeah sure what bullsh-wait are you eating my DoorDash?!”
It’s the way you constantly have to remind yourself that jail will not be like Orange is in the new black! Because I swear you damn near chucked this martini glass at that fire engine red dome of his!
Jimin just shrugs, a little nonchalant and unenthusiastic, almost as if he’s inconvenienced actually...
“Mmm, depends on perspective” He deadass just stuffed two more fires in his mouth! You're literally going to strangle him! It’s borderline painful how hard  your jaw tick, eyes narrowed in his direction!
Brows arched so damn high your gonna end up needing Botox from the permanent crease embedding within your skin. “Perspect-your literally eating-“
Holding a solitary finger in your direction “Tae just text me and said look at your phone and text him back...with like, a million pouty faces. Also, different note, who changed the decorations I placed on the mantle?! “
Jimin’s hand is now resting on his hip, legitimately angry about these damn decorations! I think his neck even did a couple rolls in the process, and I’m willing to bet,before he leaves they will be swapped out again!
A frustrated groan attempts to leave your throat  though it goes unacknowledged as your lacking any ounce or bite! Far too fond of both of your boys to truly be agitated at the moment! Actually that’s a lie, you high key wanna punch Jimin but it’s fine ....
“That, would be Jin, he said they clashed with the table decor” Pointing to all of the gold, and maroon colored decorations donning the marble coffee table “So, if your pissed go curse him out because I could give less than a damn! Now where the fuck is my phoneeee”
Hopping off the table causing your oversized UCLA Alum hoodie to hike over your ass. Said ass is covered or barely covered considering your cheeky, red, ruffle little panties are in fact assless! A cute little bow perched right on top of your tailbone, as if to direct the eye where to go….
Jimin is now choking on stolen fires and yeah there’s a smirk on your face as you grab your phone!
Mmmmhmmmm...and to think, maybe if he wasn’t being such a brat you’d let him unwrap one of his gifts a little early!
“Baby now he’s calling meeee” Anddddd he’s whining, wiggling his phone like it’s on fire! Ya know, moments like these in fact remind you that Tae and Jimin are the youngest!
“Oh for fucks sake!” Huffing in his direction snatching the phone and bag of Five Guys away in the process!
“Yes baby?” It’s actually terrifying how quickly your tone, and entire demeanor just switched! Somewhat reminiscent to how you’d see a mom scold one child then baby talk another all in the same breath! 
Jimin without a doubt noticed too, lip jutting out in a pout and no matter how many times you roll your eyes you still find yourself leaning forward kissing it right off! He moans into it and you Instantly taste the tangy seasoning from your fries, especially once he tries to swipe his tongue past the seam of your lips. The feeling of that tiny piece of metal playing in his mouth almost distracted you, but alas...the notion immediately reminds you why you were irked to begin with! Without even thinking you lean back into nipping at his bottom lip, though...this is Jimin we’re dealing with here! So whatever you thought you’d achieve is now dead, because a needy little whine just rustled in the back of his throat 
Speaking of love languages,there’s another called “Physical Touch” which has the words Jimin Park written all over it. So with that being said you really should’ve already been prepared for whatever’s about to unfold.
It’s subconscious at this point, head dropping down to the crook of your neck, nosing up a vein like a neglected puppy! Squeezing your waist hard enough to damn near engrave his thumb print in against your hip bones! Well, clearly he doesn’t want you going anywhere anytime soon!   
So what do you do instead? Place the bag of food on the bar, hold the phone in one hand and bring the other up to play in his freshly dyed locks! I swear this man is a second away from purring so maybe he’s not a puppy after all. Suddenly his ring clanned fingers trickle down your spine heading south, flexing his palm to squeeze down around the swell of your ass! Shifting you forward so your chest to chest...
So, here you are trying to cater to both of your boys at once...lord help you!
“No, of course I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just busy-yes Tae. You wanna put what in a what,Now?”
~~~~~
Hiii, as I mentioned above this was kinda last minute, I wrote out prompts on the 21st, then adult life kicked in. I actually had my own little office Christmas party to plan (Nothing on this scale obviously because well, we know the way the real world is rn) However because of that I couldn’t truly work on this until the 24th. However it’s been a long time since I wrote/wanted to write so I opted to just post it anyway! Hopefully the full thing will be up by the 28th at the latest.
I have also attached the overall masterlist for this AU!
7 DEEP 
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jeonjeonggukenergy · 4 years
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Anti-Hero
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summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.
pairing ~ jungkook x reader
genre ~ fluff, light smut w/ more to come - college!au
wordcount ~ 1.7k
warnings ~ light smut, drinking/partying, mentions of dick?, basically just making out, feat. long hair jk :)))))
a/n ~ this is my first time posting a fic!!! costume idea inspired by @ddaenggtan‘s iconic weeb-ass jk in chasing butterflies lol, and I got the idea to write this in general from wondering what a scenario like @joonbird​‘s literally flawless fic passionfruit would be like from the opposite perspective bc I kept reading it (and rereading it...and rereading it...) and loving the connection but I’m much more like joon in that au than the reader oooop. anyway thank you to all the writers on here whose work i have loved and my friends who have encouraged me and made me bold enough to embrace such a fun new creative outlet xxx u know who u are :’)
next: chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 (coming soon!) 
~ read on ao3 ~
CHAPTER 1 ~ dress up
You never intended to end up at this Halloween party. You didn't even know who to expect to see here, other than your roommate's friend from high school, the host, who had invited y'all as a package deal even though she knew you didn't really do parties. At least not ones like hers, where every bedroom ended up occupied by the end of the night and nearly no one went home alone. Thrilled to break out of your lame group of friends for a taste of flirtation and fun, you tried to relax into the scene but the unspoken expectation of casual sex intimidated you the tiniest bit.
Speaking of casual sex, there was Jungkook.
Used to admiring him from afar in your "14 Films To See Before You Graduate" class, you paused to take in the sight of him in what you supposed was a more natural habitat. Everyone knew Jungkook got girls, thanks to the rumor his first freshman-year hookup had started about his seriously impressive dick. He had a beautiful body too, carefully crafted muscles obvious even beneath his usual baggy black clothes, so as the more intimate rumors spread and various co-signers confirmed every detail from length to curve to (you had always hated this word, but...) girth, getting a piece of all that became a badge of honor among the girls in your grade. You had never really understood how the awkward boy who hid manga under his desk in class could supposedly be such a sex symbol, but you almost felt bad for him. That kind of reputation following you around everywhere couldn't be all fun and games. If anything, though, it had intrigued you even more about the rest of him, all his little weeb quirks and the way he debated your points in the discussion boards like he actually cared. He wasn't exactly studious in general, but he clearly loved film and you enjoyed speaking up in class just to see how he would jump off of your observations. You hadn't really talked to him other than that, but he didn't seem to be talking to anyone else tonight either. From the corner, you let yourself appreciate the way his nervous hands tugged at the skinny black tie of his costume, freeing more of his throat from a thin yellow button-down shirt.
At least you no longer felt overdressed in your Nancy Drew outfit. The retro headband, brown loafers, and bookish plaid knee-length skirt set a much more sophisticated tone than most other ensembles you'd seen, but Jungkook's weeb ass had basically worn a full suit to channel Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop. With his grown-out hair tousled and a navy pinstripe jacket cinched tight with two strips of electrical tape over his tiny waist, you couldn't deny that he rocked it. He leaned against a long plastic table left in the hallway, bobbing his head to the music in the next room and adjusting the too-slim suit pants around his thick thighs. His translucent cup stayed hidden behind a hip until he raised it quickly to his face for another sip of...red wine? Probably Franzia, knowing tonight's crowd, but anything was better than beer. You made a beeline for the one boy with taste at this party, your sole mission now to get wine drunk, sneak some Usher throwbacks on this playlist, and drop it low enough to leave some dude hard on the dance floor. #wastehistime2019, yknow.
"Hey!" You got his attention, grabbing the hand with the cup before he could lower it out of view again. His eyes grew comically wide and his mouth formed an "o" in shock before you demanded "Where is the wine?" and he pressed his lips back into a line, stuttering.
"I-I-I'm sorry, I just brought a bottle because the beer here sucks but I think it's all gone by now, I tried to hide it but yeah anyway you can have the rest of this one if you want though." Wincing at his own ramble, he ruffled the retro pouf of his hair with one hand and proffered the plastic cup in another. Both actions highlighted how pretty his hands were and you were just slightly tipsy enough to thread your fingers over his in the also-pretty black waves falling over his yep-still-just-as-pretty cheekbones.
"Aw, it's okay, I don't want to take your wine. No more liquid courage for me," you grinned, dotting the lightest kiss on his nose. It was an innocent gesture, but as your face naturally lowered so your noses touched, leaving your lips centimeters away from each other, something snapped—in him.
His wine discarded on the table, a hand curled around to clutch your ass and you practically felt his tongue before you felt his lips. Slamming your body abruptly into his, he nudged a thigh between your legs to grind it up on your center and as your arm got caught between your bodies, the tension you sensed filling his frame gave you pause. You pushed him away gently but firmly with the hand already flattened against his rock-solid abs. Looking down at the slight space restored between y'all, you removed his hands from his hair and your ass and laced them in yours to guide him back against the wall.
"I...what was that?" you almost giggled. You definitely weren't trying to laugh at him, but you couldn't hide your surprise at this first potential proof of his fuckboy reputation.
"I'm—" his whole face crumpled, both from the simple sting of your seeming rejection and the possibility that he had broken a boundary or forced himself on you against your wishes, which made him so sick he could barely face you. Squirming under your light hold but not quite resisting, he rambled again: "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to force myself on you or anything, don't worry I would never try anything if you didn't want to, I just figured we might as well get to the point if you did because, uh...when girls touch me like that or even talk to me at these things it's pretty much always just because they...want to."
"Jungkook," you breathed, pulsing your hands over his in reassurance. He squeezed his eyes shut, still distraught, and when they opened, you had craned your neck to meet his averted gaze.
"I never said I didn't want to."
His eyes widened again. "Uh...uh...then..." he trailed off, never having needed to directly proposition a girl like this before. He really had been inexperienced before the rapid escalation of college, and was at a loss for how to get to the good stuff from here via anything more eloquent than a rushed "Wanna fuck?" You shook your head silently, nose grazing his again, and let go of one hand to cup his face with care, like he was something precious you were scared of breaking.
"What? You want to get right to fucking me?" you murmured into his ear. He shivered at hearing you curse for the first time, freed from the constraints of class discussions and closer than he ever guessed you'd get to him. "Is that really what you want? Or is it what you think I do? Because if it's alright, I think I want something better. For you."
You pressed a new kiss to his nose, only slightly stronger than the one that had started all this. He held his breath and his untouched, open mouth trembled as you scattered soft introductions of your lips across his forehead, to his temples, over the scar that sliced his cheekbone. Finally inhaling a skittery heave of your shared air as you passed closer to his lips, he forced it back out in frustration when you ducked away to nudge under his jaw instead. Returning your hand to his hair, you grinned, enjoying the spike in his pulse under your thumb and skipping the tip of your tongue lightly over his neck right up to the earlobe. You lifted the choppy ends of his waves away from the dangly silver hoop they hid, tensing the strands just slightly between your fingers in an inability to hide your glee. Something told you this was going to drive him crazy.
Taking a slight detour to suck his pierced lobe between your lips, you responded to Jungkook’s low moan of surprise by wedging your tongue through the first oversized hole and letting your teeth clatter over multiple rings of metal. He was trying so hard to stay pliant under you, but the tease of slight pain in a new and unusual spot made him want your mouth more, anywhere he could get it. No one had ever spent this much time tracing so few inches of skin.
And so many girls had buried his face in their necks, craving evidence of an encounter with the Jeon Jungkook, that a strange kind of empathy caught him off guard when you showed him how good it could feel to receive. You connected your lips to the hollow right under his ear, feeling the tendons stretch as his head lolled away from you. Working him through a cascade of light gasps, you stepped away satisfied once you had sucked a dark bloom to the surface. He watched you leave with his mouth agape and chest heaving, unable to believe you could just walk away with a wave and a "See you in class!"
But you did, and he would.
"Shit!" he swore, a shaky hand darting straight to the spot. Now he had to keep his hair long for at least another two or three days. If he showed up to discussion on Monday and had to watch you admiring your work on his skin, he would probably just die on the spot. And that would not be very Spike Spiegel of him.
next chapter
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achieveandhunt · 4 years
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live typing extra life 2019
warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.
i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points
larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start
what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ
lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much
jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo
matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry
“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss
geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey
THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING
jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley
alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz
DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE
wait why does it sound like wonderwall
they look like characters from the matrix
the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt
in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants 
okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY
“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well
also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome
i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board
which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??
“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”
WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)
ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple
god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair
owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment
“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”
ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up
“man action” oh no
THROBERT MULVEINY
K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes
“my last name is cottagecheese”
I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S 
chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds
“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy
jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes
a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese
BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE
“to fitness” -starts choking-
final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission
“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items
we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment
moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat
jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand
what’s extra life without a little satan
“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY
chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais
ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister
nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip
oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year
this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700
D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑
urine: to help with aerodynamics
jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*
today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right
how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly
barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon
blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real
#dogsforkids
this just in: extra life killed my wifi
we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen
queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations
HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY
hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable
trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk
“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”
i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor
the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose
“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”
“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair
jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny
OK BOOMER 
wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots
Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas
miles doesn’t know what a question is
WHERE’S YOUR HAIR
oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone
CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE
miles bossing around chef mike is priceless
“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”
“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*
HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that
“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH
--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---
oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree
so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them
hmm. is now the time to get drunk
oily twist feels very... ominous
what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?
someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”
i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours
ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of
can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude
“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking
this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)
“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad
fucking called it
“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip
heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice
i’m a grown ass woman
welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment
“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*
“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”
“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”
oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh
i felt that chest slap in my soul
i think i felt my own ribs crack
oh fucking
tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section
alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning
my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here
this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before
LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM
JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller
oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE
i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck
m y a t t
oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling
lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones
chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged
chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying
he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content
i heARD A MICHAEL JONES
“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”
you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos
JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK
oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing
why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king
the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass
i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point
lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth
well timed leet donation #1829495
this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good
jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said
iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL
jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to
lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25
“deep fry everything but a remote control”
chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25
oh fuck it’s a tie
now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible
i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight
no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god
okay i’m making a part two this is too much
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ilguna · 4 years
Text
i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:
warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day
goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)
also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”
“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”
On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls
student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”
he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”
his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT
he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ
him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao
“For the lols”
Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can
threw a box of tissues at a student
he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.
“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)
Sang the rain drop, drop top song
The collars on his shirt turned up
“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)
“Stay woke” 
“It was a hot boy summer for him”
expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there
kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)
He woah’d at some point
HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer
tried to eat a balled up paper
“important revolutionary war stuff”
“My bae, George Washington”
“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”
called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently
“Facts”
“Swagtastic”
he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”
“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin
“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”
The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)
one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead
another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was 
He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club
he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.
“You are about to get clowned, young lady”
pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)
“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”
George washington = bae on a powerpoint
“you tied me up real good”
“France also popped off”
Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)
Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)
hick iowa, to be exact
Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”
“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”
“Federalism, not onion!’
“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)
he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything
he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station
“laugh out loud!”
“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”
pronounced wolf as woof
“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”
Called a swim cap a bonnet
“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way
“Jesus, you’re a big boy”
for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though
“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”
“Cause I realize most of you are morons”
was obsessed with the cowboy boogie
“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”
“Do i look normal?”
“I look like an old man”
“Shut up your faces”
“I see you back there, queen”
“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive
“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”
“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat
he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter
flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open
First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that
he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion
“I’m old as shit”
also, his cat’s name IS meow cat
more expo marker throwing
“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door
“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)
Singing electric avenue
“but here’s the tea”
“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall
“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”
teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”
Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something
“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”
THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it
“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)
“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”
his pedo stache 
stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper
doesn’t know who gaston is???
him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”
*singing* “beauty and the beast”
“I’m going to tackle you”
more random golf swinging
“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*
And he did it again the next day
he literally made kids compete with pastries
which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no
“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”
the following quotes are for the Hot Seat
Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”
“Some people cry”
“La *****, luxurious”
“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”
basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.
“2 points of weed?”
“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”
“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”
“You guys bullied me and stole it”
“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”
“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”
“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*
*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”
“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)
“The only thing that was in--shit”
“and uncle sam--gettin lit”
“Their daddy--UH--”
“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)
“Whatever you say, boomer”
“Use my words to plagiarize in college”
“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”
“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”
Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”
him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”
“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”
~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~
student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”
student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”
“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”
Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”
“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)
him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”
“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))
“Baby death?”
“Their family has more money than jesus”
*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”
“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”
“We should fight our cats.”
“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”
“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”
he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door
also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it
during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)
and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”
honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious
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yumenosakiacademy · 5 years
Text
metr0con 2019 thursday diary
Cosplayed: tsuka-sa suou, summer uniform, w my burger king crown n my leo sign. Breakfast: ramen. Snack: none, but i did bring a package of poptarts.
This is for future me, so i’d prefer if ya didnt read but i mean. w/e.
Okay so.. I had a crappy morning and I only slept for 2 hours BUT! Con tiiiime! I got there and arrived at the hetalia panel a few minutes late but that's okay, it wasn't by many. I remembered I asked sealand during truth or dare n he said dare n I asked him to reenact his favorite fortunate dance n he was like "oh I've been waiting for this" or smth and later, I asked him how his gamer youtube channel was doing n america was like “oh dude i was ur 5th subscriber!!” n sealand was like “subscribe to me plss” n america was like “dont forget to like n subscribe. n receive notifications.” n someone dared canada to b as loud as america n she yelled when they said “be as loud as you were when u lost to russia in hockey”. at another part, someone asked america if she would rather never eat fast food again or save sealand from falling into a volcano n she hugged sealand n said “my lil bro!”. someone dared america to speak in proper english and she was all “oh pip pip cheerio” and mocking england haha
at the end of the panel, a girl came up to me n she said she liked my costume n i was like “!! r u into ES??” and they said “almost” or like. kinda or smth but they took my picture n i felt so happy gjhns
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OKAY then i tried to go to the adventure t!me sing-along n q+a panel but they only did truth or dare for a few minutes n im not big into AT anyway so i wasnt rly having fun then they decided to start the singalong when they got the wifi working via someone turning on their hotspot but i had a bad throat so i just left the panel and then had abt 4 hrs to walk around! aw jeez, right?
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while on my walk i saw a riku n got their pic n i was like “male idols unite hell yea” n we talked for a bit n they were talkin abt a boy idol series they had heard abt called dank!ra n i mentioned i had also heard abt that! i also came across someone who said they liked my costume or knew who i was (someone in a red beret) n we were talking abt ES n i was like “best boys go” n they said shu and i think keito n i was like “chiaki n mika.. theyre baby” n they were like “ryuse!ta! n rabitz r the most baby in ES” n i was like “oh dude those r my fav units.....” at some point, i saw kuro again!! i saw them but was too shy then later they spotted me as i walked past them n went “tsukasa!!” n i turned around n i was like “erin!!!” n i hugged them n the beret person was there too bc they were their friend apparently and kuro said they were just gonna b kuro for thursday (they were cosplaying summer uniform!kuro like they did in a previous yr) n they just wore it cuz they were hot n went “summer uniform solidarity” (bc i was summer uniform!tsukasa) n we fist bumped and i was digging around my shirt pocket to show them my souma keychain n they were like “oh dude u reaching into ur pocket reminded me i need to get smth from my pocket. i hav Fangs” n they put on costume fangs! eventually they started looking at jojo figures at the stall we were next to n we eventually parted.
at some point, the person running the itabag booth (theyre an ES fan, i kno. their site has ens-tars itabags in the examples gallery n they cosplayed ES last yr) saw me n went “ousama!” bc of my sign n i went over n they were like “guess what ia ctually got to meet arashis va last week” n i was like “RLY??” n they were showing me their arashi itabag n they were like “yea i got to shake his hand n everything aaa. n during his talk/panel (?) i kept showing off my arashi stuff as if to say “I LOVE ARASHI” n i was like “arashi is best knights member.. ara-nee............”
at some point my crown fell off while i was on the escalator? i tried to go back for it but it was gone in the Minute it took me to ride te up escalator? i assumed someone took it to wear but kenyan said someone mightve thrown it away..
i went to metro night live n it wasnt all that funny?? idk what to talk abt from it. they did a “luigi being a gamer” video series n one of them was him playing hotl!ne miami (not knowing it was violent) n he was like “ive never been to florida but i guess this is a game to simulate it!” n it said “proloogue: the metro” n he was like “oh like the convention!” n when the mask selection came up he was like “oh look we can even cosplay!” n he went thru the door n saw one of the mafia members n went “look! a congoer! hello- oh” n accidentaly shoved one of the guys down n he was like “can i help you up-” but then the character (jacket) smashed the guys head in w the button press n luigi went “....o-oh. uh-” and some of the other games were fortnite n he played a violent game n he was like “THERE IS NO GOD HERE NOW” or w/e. they also had an “Edgelords anonymous” skit in which reaper was a new member of the group but it ended w ruby r0se describing brutal ways to kill people (while listing em cheerily) n the others being disturbed n alucard ending the session.
at 7 i had nothing so i walked around. then when 8 hit, i was gonna go to Whose Line Is It Anime but apparently its time had been changed to 7 pm?? the 8 in “8:00-9:00 pm” was scribbled out in sharpie on the schedule board in front of the room n it said 7 pm but now that i think abt it.. i think they meant 7-9 pm. ....shit. oh god damn it. anyway i got sad n left then since it was kinda empty/slow bc it was nighttime, i sat down on a wall thing to open up my sougo plush keychain n some guy next to me started talking to me abt my nails and we got ot talking n apparently he had wanted to go to the dealers room but didnt kno they closed @ 8 n he was here w friend n only had a single day pass bc he had work the other days (his name was spencer) so he was just lounging and i suggested he tell his friends what he wanted n they get it for him if they hav weekend passes n asked if he knew abt the game room n he said no so i invited him to go play smash w me so we went but couldnt figure out how things worked bc there were many consoles n screens w games, but mosst had no controllers but it turns out u borrow the contollers w ur con pass! kenyan was there running the controller borrower table. he said “psst” bc he saw me n i ws like “kenyan!!!” n hugged him n he was like “hows ur weekend going dear” n i said not that great but only bc it was thursday! also my throat hurt” n he was like “did u drink?” n i was like “well.. i have water but..” n he was like “drink juice. it’ll help. that’s what ur dad wwould say” (he woukdnt) anyway we got our controllrs and started playg smash n i went, in order: joker, robin, chrom, bayonetta, greninja n he was teaching me how to play w the gamecube controller (im used to a wiimote) n he beat me every time but i had fun!
after that i was GONNA go to the v-ld panel but i looked inside while walking by n there werent many ppl so i said “okay lets go to the BB panel then. take a look” so i went in there n there were a TON of ppl anyway it was kind of boring bc im not big on murder mysteries n stuff but apparently someone solved it by saying ciel slipped n fell, no one murdered him. then they did the raffle n i didnt win but thats okay! most ppl left after the raffle ended n q+a started n i couldnt hear many ppls’ questions anyway so i was bored n thought of goint to the vl-d panel but ended up not but w/e! oh! also everyone received candy at the beginning of the panel n i ahd a mystery lollipop n it turned out to b birthday cake flavor! id never had that before. it was Good.
after that i was just wandering around n i called dad to startdriving there but the ciel i asked for a picture of, them n their friends were gawking at my nails ns tuff n one of the teens’ dads was like “how do ya pick ur nose w it??” but after that, as i was wandering around, the gundam id sen earlier that day saw me n waved n i said oh hi n went over n they (it was them n an izuru) were like “wanna hang out w us for a while?” so i was like “oh. shoot. id luv too but im waiting for my dad to pick me up” n theyw ere like “it’s okay we can just hang out til then, then, if ya’d like” so i hung out w them n the gundam was talking abt how earlier, a mukuro complimented them on their outfit n they returned the compliment n went to leave n the mukuro was like “uumm arent u gonna hang out w me? we’re from the same series n all” n they were like “not w that f***in attitude” n i was like “did ya rly say that?” n they were like “yea. ppl dont expect me ta hav attitude” n we also talked abt piercings n how i said they seemed cool n goth (the gundam had a nose ring n the izuru had a piercing near their mouth) but how it must hurt n they said it just feels like a pinch. at some point i roled over my bag so my sougo wouldnt get dirty n the izuru saw my rei button n mentioned smth abt only findin one rei button at the idol table n i was like “UR INTO ES???” n they were like “i just kno undead n a few other characters. like [points @ my leo sign] i kno him” n i went “he’s dumbass supreme” n the gundam was talking abt getting the rythm game n i was like “jut read the stories on the wiki the game is boring imo” n the izuru backed me up by saying it wasnt a rhythm game n a lil while later, i showed them the 2 cool rei cgs n i was like “big sexe” n they agreed but the izuru had said theyd seen the croassroads one i showed em (the first of the 2) n the gundam said they wnted to cosplay bloody banquet rei (the other cg i showed em) n the izuru said they wanted to cosplay them All gjhnsm i showed them ryu-seitai too n showed them undead n gundam showed an interest in adonis! we also talked abt k!n stuff n all that! im not gonna go into detail on that (esp bc it’s so late rn as im typing!) but gundam was like “i dont trust junko k!n. like, evreyone else, yea, but junko? no. or like, any other character that’s just so irredeemably shitty”. oh they also talked abt this one messy, ugly, tangly junko wig they found for $300 which shouldnt have been that much n it was just a mess of tangles. anyway t’s getting late oh gosh. anyway they said they’d b on the lookout for me tomorrow so we can say hi again! 
random fun fact: SO many ppl complimented my nails today gjhnsm
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sambashua · 7 years
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HOW SVT BE FAM
♥S-sa-say the name!!
So this is going to be the longest post in the history of mankind bc I go real deep w their personalities and stuff ahh also since I don’t personally know them ofc so this is all based on what I’ve seen from their shows and videos:)) THANKS FOR ASKING KAT I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A HARDCORE CARAT SOONER RATHER THAN LATER AHHH [sidenote i included my personal nicknames for them so u know who i’m talkin abt irl girl] I ALSO LINKED A BUNCH OF STUFF I RLLY WENT CRAZY
Choi Seungcheol aka S.coups (cheolie) - OKAY AH since he’s your bias I’ll write extra thingsssss!! The faithful general leader and rap boyyy scoops! So this lil bun I thought for a while when I first followed them like oh he’s probably the most normal like he’s level headed and stuff but NOPE NOPE NOPE! SEUNGCHEOL IS ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST CUTIE DORK IN THE WORLD he is afraid of like a lot of things which is too funny bc he’s acts all manly and all the members see him that way and I cannot believe~ like he’s afraid of killing fish and and fireworks and being in front of the camera alone and chopping firewood and doing something that doesn’t get a reaction?? Whenever he does any sort of charm he tells the members to be sure to have a good reaction and BOYY IF THEY DONT he goes off on them I stg… but in all seriousness he is so so so hardworking (he trained for 6 years oh my god) like he always tries to take pressure off his members and he cares for his babies so much and they even call him appa sometimes and they look up to him so much it is the cutest thing like they always rate him so high in looks and I cry love him plz. But he is an actual puppy like w his long eyelashes and pouty face like oh my god and he is getting cuter everyday???? Like actually tho he’s doing it on purpose and I can’t handle it?? When did he plan this I can’t believe how frickin cute he is being lately! He’s such a soft fluff and he’s always so strong for the other members and they look up to him so much and he is one of the best groups leaders I’ve ever seen just bc of how much they all respect and listen to him:)Yoon Jeonghan (hannie) - so this pos… jkjk (kinda) hannie is “svt’s angel” bc he was born on 1004 the pretty vocalist who everyone knows as the guy in seventeen w long hair SOOO the thing w hannie is he is like the most beautiful man in kpop like his face is so pretty and his features too like?? How?? He seems like he would be feminine but he is actually one of the most (if not the most) manly members of svt!! But he gets tired so fast tho he is rated #13 in stamina and they call him lying-jeonghan bc he’s always lying down lol. But oh my god he is such a piece of trash I cannot believeeeee on tumblr I have a tag dedicated to all the times hannie has been a piece of shit I’ll link it to you if you want but like he cheats and lies in EVERY GAME THEY HAVE EVER PLAYED NO JOKE and even if they’re not competing he is always the first to call someone out and he is just such a ho i die like he is not svt’s angel at all BUTTTTTTTT he is actually so hardworking like even if he’s tired they’ve said that he keeps practicing and ugh he’s good… he has dubbed himself mother of svt and generally everyone p much agrees w him! Hannie and seungcheol call the other members “kids” and it is the purest thingJoshua Hong/Hong Jisoo(kor) (shuaaa) - everyone kinda knows josh as the American gentleman w his sweet voice and sick English skills (side note whenever he speaks eng tho he always stutters and I’m like boy why but it’s super cute and ilh) and he can speak five languages (supposedly) he plays guitar and he’s rlly Christian too lol so he’s the resident “church oppa” as the kids say these days and he has a cute cartilage piercing w a cross aw (he also recently got his tragus pierced and damn it looks good but anyway) Also his peach hair was such a good time like wow. Shua seems rlly quiet and I mean he is but oh my god he is so fucking extra LIKE I DONT UNDERSTAND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE BECAME SO EXTRA IDK WAS HE ALWAYS THIS WAY BUT I DIDNT SEE PAST HIS CAT EYES AND SWEET VOICE LIKE WHO KNOWSSSS but he does this pin drop dance thing way too often but it’s hilarious and the members are obsessed w it bc he always says he has a hard time w dance and choreo and this is his only dance move (but tbh he’s actually p good at dancing like i never rlly notice he falls behind or anything except that one time performing pretty u where he started his part too early but that actually created a new part of the choreo they ended up using for a bit fun fact)… that and his samba aka my url sambashua (technically he doesn’t actually samba tho I’m p sure he’s doing the merengue but it’s okay shua I still love u) He’s also a fricking nerd for anime which is great i love it. Josh and Vernon are rlly close bc English buds and they’re the memeist together also him and jeonghan are a true ship bc they came to pledis at the same time and they’re cute
Wen Junhui/Moon Junhui(kor) aka Jun - so jun is ½ of china line and ¼ foreign line. A dancing noodle from southeast China wow (I say noodle bc he is a skinny bean and also v flexible bc he does martial arts things wow) he did Kung Fu in china for a long as heck time and does a lot of kicky things and flips and he’s super cool ALSO FUN FACT: HIS NAME IS JUN AND HE WAS BORN IN JUNE WOOHOO a lot of people assume he’s like sly/greasy but that’s mostly him in like interviewy shows?? But in reality shows and vlives he is actually just such a cute sweet bean and he loves the members so much! He was a child actor in china and was p famous I think for a while?? But he learned Korean p well before he joined pledis (their label btw idk if you know or not lol) BUT EVEN FROM DEBUT HIS PRONUNCIATION HAS KEPT IMPROVING IM SO PROUD a lot of people cal him the true visual of svt (tbh I don’t like that bc they’re all beautiful don’t put anyone down ah) BUT HE IS SO HANDSOME LIKE DAMN BOY HE’S GOT SUCH NICE FEATURES AND HE IS THE CUTEST BEAN IN THE WORLD Alsoooo several of the members have dubbed him svt’s mother bc he’s super encouraging and “endless positivity jun” and he pays special attention to minghao they have the purest friendship!! (plz give him lines)Kwon Soonyoung aka Hoshi (HOSH) - DANCE MASTER AND PERF TEAM LEADER OF SEVENTEEN LIKE OKAY ALL OF PERF TEAM IS SO TALENTED I CAN’T BELIEVE BUT SOONYOUNG IS SO INCREDIBLE HE CAN CREATE DANCES ANYTIME ANYWHERE AND HE EXECUTES THEM SO WELL?? His stage name Hoshi means star in Japanese bc he shines in stage! And he knows Japanese pretty well I don’t think he’s fluent but he cute cute cute!! Anyway people rec him to go on hit the stage (WHICH I AM SO HERE FOR (but also let him rest he needs a break dear god they all do)) he creates all of svt’s dances wow (w help from perf team ofc) but he is actually the squishiest sweetest boy off stage but then on stage he completely transforms into whatever concept like he can take on anything?? I would not have assumed dark concept would work for him BUT BOY HOWDY IT DOES he turns from adorable hamster to sexy dance god in .2 seconds i don’t understand how people who bias him survive tbh… He is also SHINee’s biggest fan oh my god and the fact that he now stands on the same stages as them literally blows his mind he is such a fanboy i love♥ HE CARES FOR HIS MEMBERS SO MUCH (I realize I’ve said this abt everyone but hey hey they have a lot of love) he wrote HIGHLIGHT as his first time ever helping produce/write lyrics and I’m so proud:D AND HIS VOICE HIS SO GOOD he’s just so bouncy and good and so attractive??? He goes by 10:10 bc his eyes are like the hands of a clock at 10:10 wowie and EYE SMILES FOR DAYS~ just a sweet lil bab w a pure heart honestlyJeon Wonwoo (wonu aka the loml) - goddammit I hate jeon wonwoo JKJK OKAY SO JEON WONWOO IS MY ULT BIAS IMMA DO MY BEST TO KEEP THIS CONCISE BUT IDK HOW IT’S GONNA GO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY! jeon frickin wonwoo has the deepest voice in svt and is known for his deep, smooth rap style wow (his rap style is really unique like if you listen to it it sort of ebbs and flows w the music and he drags out notes sometimes it’s so nice fuck) he sings all the time it’s so great and the members always ask him to read things bc (he’s good at reading generally and) he has his nice deep voice ahh~ JEON FRICKIN WONWOO IS THE BIGGEST DORK IN THE WHOLE WORLD jeon wonwoo enjoys making bad puns and reading books (esp romance ones I hate him). The other members act like they hate his jokes but they always laugh at what he says and when he was gone (rip he was sick for a couple months from end of may ish to july ish) they mentioned that they missed his dumb jokes (and so did I). He considers himself to be the best looking (what a ho) and he is naturally skinny which a lot of the members are jealous of (but tbh this could be partially because he has a lot of health issues and allergies I just want to care for him and make him food and feed him forever so he gets fat and happy help me) On one fine day he was dubbed the garden fairy and also jeon wonwoo bag of luck oh my god I am so embarrassed by him (jk I love him w the entirety of my heart in case you couldn’t tell) Some of my favorite things abt wonwoo are his little nose crinkles when he smiles and his glasses that look just so cute on him and when he wears big sweaters and then he has sweater paws and he looks so cuddly and soft. He is also so boastful like he is always the first one to support himself it’s so funny but he doesn’t exactly brag it’s more confidence idk but he’s also rlly smart and good at acrostic poems bc he reads so much:) He also always cheers for other members when they want him to i.e. seungkwan when he cheers for himself. He seems shy when he’s on talk shows but I think he just wants to let other people talk but on vlives he always whispers to other members aND I JUST WANT HIM TO SPEAK UP! JEON WONU TELL US WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY but in conclusion I am in love with him and would def recommend anyone to bias him bc honestly he is a good bias just bc he is chill and pure and funny and beautiful (even tho sometimes he’s MIA and quiet as heck pshhh)Lee Jihoon aka Woozi - vocal team leader and producer of p much all their lit ass tunes!! 10/10 MOST HARDWORKING MEMBER OUT OF SVT I’M SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT JIHOON WORKS SO HARD ALL THE TIME I’M SO WORRIED FOR HIM HE NEEDS A BREAK!! It’s so heartbreaking tho if you ever want to cry and cough up your lungs bc of sobs then watch SVT Project where he talks abt how he feels so much pressure and feels like their success or failure is riding on him bc he writes all their music and will determine if they will be any good:(((( BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE A BIG HIT BC JIHOONIE IS SUPER TALENTED AND MAKES THE BEST UPBEAT FUNKY FRESH POP TUNES OF THE CENTURY~ he is one of (if not the) shortest male idols at the moment at a staggering 165cm/5'4"! But it’s so great bc he doesn’t try to hide his heigh and he is considered and “inspiration to short men” according to one fashion report. The members always say he is rlly manly but on camera he acts cute and 10/10 appreciate it bc he is the cutest ever but only subtly… like he embarrassingly/shyly covers his face so cutely and gets angry so adorably where he just glares aw (he has also confirmed that he considers himself to be more cute than scary) woozi is a abbreviation of “our jihoon” which is the cutest asjkdhskl. He is also seventeen’s grandpa bc he is rlly not too hip at all but they try to help him out anyway! He also winks 24/7 lol. His voice is rlly clear and piercing like he often sings parts of the chorus and his voice draws you in idk it’s nice:) he trained for the second longest amount after scoops (5 years) so they’re super close bc they were together longer than the other membersLee Seokmin aka Dokyeom/DK - an actual ray of sunshine w the most incredible vocals like wow! He is svt’s “happy virus” and boy does he own it!! He is always smiling and laughing and making jokes he is the cutest I stg… He also has a more built figure physically and it’s hot as heck tbh. He, seungkwannie and soonyoung make up the “booseoksoon” trio which is basically the extra/mc/always laughing squad and they are such close friends it’s the cutest ever boo and hosh think he’s the funniest person in the world I love it!! Seokmin also puts a lot of pressure on himself bc he’s main vocal and I feel like he’s super underrated???? But he went on King of Masked Singer and I think he made it through two or three rounds? Anyway he did rlly rlly good (even tho honestly think he has way more potential than what he showed) and I hope it boosted his confidence bc he is incredible!! The judges assumed he was from an older group bc his voice was so mature eeeee!! HE IS SO LOUD OH MY GOD one time they said that the CEO could hear him practicing from the 4th floor while he was in the basement I- He is always the first person to make fun of himself and he doesn’t mind being the brunt of a joke as long as he gets people to laugh it’s adorable:)) He always brings up the mood and helps out the members whenever there is awkwardness w being filmed and such JUST SUPPORT THIS SUNNY BOY HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY IN HIS HEART!!Kim Mingyu - the tallest bean on the block and svt’s “visual tree” at a staggering 190cm/6'1" (correct me if I’m wrong I didn’t look this up) but I’m p sure he has grown recently bc he is getting taller everyday I swear? He’s got some good rap mhmm~ But he is such a clumsy pup and the members always make fun of him but it’s okay bc he can take it (he has the best reaction so that’s why they do it) He is dropping things and tripping 25/8 and it’s the cutest thing! But “housewife ming” can legit do anything like he is a true man of many talents damn i.e. cooking, hairstyling, acting, cleaning… But he is so so pretty like who the heck allowed him to be this attractive?? Gyu goes from super visual savior to fluffy pup on the daily and it’s too much to handle… Idk he seems like he might be super cool and chic when you first see him but he is actually just a giggly fool always having a hard time… Mingyu is the only one in svt that I would call the “visual” (only bc he is officially the visual i think they are literally gorgeous okay!!) but he is actually rlly insecure abt it and only calls himself “aspiring visual” and it’s mostly bc of his dark complexion WHICH IS COMPLETELY FLAWLESS AND SO BEAUTIFUL STOP WHITEWASHING KIM MINGYU PLZ but i rlly commend him for being visual despite common opinions/standards on skin color in korea. A lot of people (okay most people) ship him and wonwoo (aka meanie) and I do too, don’t get me wrong, but my all time favorite ship is mingyu and minghao (aka gyuhao) bc same age, they act like they hate each other but are actually super supportive (one of my fave tropes blah) and idk they’re both just confused pups help me and w that transition…
Xu Minghao/Seo Myungho(kor) aka The8 (i never call him the8 ever srry b i don’t like it idk ah) - our “cool cutie” from northeast(i think) China with the most killer bboying skills i’ve ever seen in kpop! He now introduces himself as “The8 with infinite possibilities” and he has been growing more and more as an artist and a person I’m so proud of him!! He trained for the shortest amount of time (~1year+2months i believe) and he really struggled w Korean when he first started. Even after debut he was very quiet but he has been talking more and more lately and he has been doing so well!! Minghao is cute as heck but he is also (along w hannie) svt’s Resident Savage™ and the main usage of his Korean improvement has gone into calling out the other members w his incredible comebacks. Two of his favorite targets seem to be soonyoung and mingyu but he rlly doesn’t hold back on anyone (except maybe jun bc they are such good buddies bc china line and jun helps him w his korean asjkklfjls) But anyway he is an incredible dancer and singer and also rapper!! (give him more lines plz plz plz) vernon has been helping him w his korean rapping but he is already one lit mandarin rapper like damn… But minghao is the most supportive member of svt (hear me out) whenever they do broadcasts or radio shows minghao always gives thumbs ups/supportive smiles/high fives it is the purest thing and part of the reason I love him sm!!! He’s also super cuddly and is always touching/hugging the other members asjkltfasd. Sometimes he doesn’t quite understand a question and the other members help explain it to him it’s my favorite concept (it’s usually soonyoung or seungcheol but i’ve seen p much all of them do it) lately he has been getting more meme-y and idk how to feel but as long as he’s getting out of his comfort zone I am immensely proud of him:))
Boo Seungkwan (boo) - the other main vocal in svt and just generally the loudest and usually mc for the group. Boo has some of the most incredible vocals i’ve seen in my life and he sings probably my favorite cover duet of all time (the high note around 3:05 makes me emotional every time istg also their reactions are me) He’s so talented and his voice is so clear and nice and his RANGE! I could go on forever… To describe seungkwan in two words would be sweet and sassy… He is part of maknae/baby line but he’s always calling people out and bossing them around it’s hilarious. (he is generally hilarious tbh) Also he’s a huge volleyball program nerd it’s great (and possibly haikyuu!! but not confirmed) He’s commonly referred to as divaboo and the video just seungkwan things captures all his divaness perfectly 10/10 would rec! He’s also super english-y all the time probably bc he spends so much time w vernon which is great for us international fans whoop whoop. But back to him being sweet- even though he is definitely his own biggest fan (in the most adorable way omg) he is also svt’s biggest fan he always cheers on his members it’s so cute he’s so soft and good! He cares so much for the fans and he’s head of the Seventeen Fan Cafe (i think) and he’s great abt interacting w carats and all that fanservicey stuff:) He is also super underappreciated honestly support him bc he supports everyone else even tho he’s rlly insecure abt his looks and body even tho he is the most beautiful boo w THE BEST CHEEKBONES IN THE UNIVERSE HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS DAMN BOY
Hansol Vernon Chwe/Choi Hansol(kor) aka Vernon (bernonie) - One of the most well-known members of svt bc he’s half white and was also a child actor. He has some of the most lit raps tbh and i’m p sure every single one (or almost) has english in it lol. His mom is white and American and his dad is from Korea. Technically he was born in New York, USA BUT BUT BUT he moved to korea when he was five so he doesn’t remember it like at all and every host ever asks him abt it and he always has to say he is basically korean and JUST LET HIM LIVE but since his mom speaks english he is fluent in it (but he has said he is better at korean) He is super super visual and he gets more attractive every day like who the heckkk. Hansol is one of the more popular members so a lot of people would expect him to be outgoing (or even douchey bc he’s half white which is dumb yet it happens) but he is one of the quietest members and usually doesn’t speak up in interviews and such bc he’s kinda shy! BUT THIS DOES NOT I REPEAT DOES NOT MEAN HE IS NOT A MEME!! VERNON IS CONFIRMED THE MEMEIST MEMBER OF SVT ALONG W JOSHUA DON’T FIGHT ME. At this point he has even been dubbed “memesol” bc he makes the best reaction faces in recorded history dear god. He also finds literally everything so hilarious and definitely laughs the most whenever the other members do anything. But honestly he is a super cute, sweet pup who deserves a whole lotta love!! also kinda unrelated but one of my favorite posts of all time is dedicated to him i don’t even know…
Lee Chan aka Dino (MY SON) - I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START W THIS LIL BAB! Lee Chan is svt’s “small giant” maknae who is Michael Jackson’s #1 Fan™ and literal dancing machineeee! He has grown so much since debut i cannot believe and he is getting more confident MY BOY! Honestly his glow up should be some kinda world record bc oh my god it hasn’t even been two years?? AND HIS RAP HAS IMPROVED SO MUCH LIKE EVEN FROM JAM JAM TO OMG Vernon rapped most of jam jam but then in omg chan rapped all of it by himself!!!! ALSO EVEN FROM OMG TO HIGHLIGHT NOW HE TRANSITIONS FROM RAPPING STRAIGHT INTO SINGING WITH THE SAME BREATH I CANNOT BELIEVE!! But he is so creative and funny and full of energy!! He helps hoshi w most of the dances (i think he did most of the choreo for jam jam) and his stage name is dino bc when he steps on the stage he takes it over and becomes a big presence like a dinosaur which is so creative??? he also graduated high school a while back and then just too his entrance exams!! I’m so proud!! But he tries so hard to keep improving and he’s just so pure and has a complete heart of gold♥ He also aspires to be an mc and he works rlly hard to improve his skills on that front too! Chan is so incredibly talented, but again not a whole lot of people bias him which is crazy???? Bc he is so hansome and also my son?? also lowkey savage af But all the members love him a whole lot and he is their baby, even though he is now “an adult” but srry bun no one will probably ever stop calling him baby (esp jeonghan)
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2slowgoers · 4 years
Text
Ghosts of Christmases Past
Hi L,
I find that since it’s the end of the decade it’d be a good idea to write a tribute to all my fleeting memories of our friendship. Initially a challenge from you because you think I forget everything, I’ve used it as an exercise to remind me of why we’ve been able to become and stay so close in the relatively short 5, 6 years we’ve known each other. I realised that oftentimes it’s not the memory of our interaction but more so a feeling that stayed with me. Thus, the list you’ll see below is vague because I don’t really recalls details, but they’re there because they left a mark (I did use a few hints from my phone album). I’ll be writing this in chronological order from our first meeting to the last time we met in November
I’d love to hear if any of the things I write down are not in your memory or are remembered differently :) Memories are such a curious thing. 
-I think we were in front of LDC? But it was ISO and we were all getting to know each other and you complimented my fashion ;p I really appreciated it. I think at that time I had a pretty good impression of you and thought we might get along (I think I have a pretty accurate first impression of people for myself).
-I also remember me, TT, and ST visiting you in your dorm at Goodhue during spring term maybe? You said that T’s bf at the time had come to visit but I don’t remember that. I just remember you weren’t too happy then but I don’t remember why :\ maybe you were stressed from work?
-winter term after you came back from studying and trekking abroad, I remember feeling nervous messaging you about your trip. Somehow it felt like we didn’t get to talk too much about it during that first conversation, or at least it wasn’t fully positive. I think you’d opened up about the struggles of traveling alone as a woman and getting harassed then?
-feeling replaceable when you and T got close, wondering if y’all would have dated if you’d met earlier. Anyway we talked (I don’t even know how I managed to approach you about this lol), and you talked about being friends with couples in your past
-summer after second year, going to Monterey with your family and eating at the Italian bistro bc your dad loves Italian food
-you visiting me in Seattle that summer and getting high with R. We had lunch with some college mates and were planning to go out but instead y’all just napped all afternoon. That was annoying but funny still
-visiting you in Berlin that fall -- going to all those weird bars, and in the last bar this guy came to sit with us and you talked to him, telling him we were all in relationships and he fibbed that he also was in a relationship. Later you told me his breath stank lol (let’s not mention all the other wildness that night -- still traumatised by the racist heckling and the people openly having sex at KitKat)
-meeting up in Venice (it’s still one of my fondest places that we went to together), trying to find cheap aperitifs and drinking them in front of a church, and lamenting over how romantic everything was and how many couples there were everywhere
-you, TT and ST coming to visit me in Budapest and us going to ruin bars. We left early and I remember being woken up at like 4am to open the door for TT. Also walking around Margitsziget (the island), and going to the open-air thermal bath. Do you remember zipping around in a whirlpool with throngs of people in it? 
-me doing your hair in T’s room the following winter, with you sitting on a pile of newspapers on the ground. I think we were trying to dye your hair brown
-us cooking at your house with your hs friend H and then the garbage can set on fire (?!); I think you were trying to make carbonara that time but the eggs weren’t going great or something; it was also the first time I’d seen anyone microwave tomatoes
-you and V trying to eat her frozen coconut water from a box and using a knife to hack at it. I was so scared for your fingers
-us going to the career center training with a quarter of a watermelon and eating it with spoons. I loved eating watermelons like that and feel like I haven’t really eaten that way since :(
-our birthday picnic and going to Valley Scare -- do you remember being scared? I feel like most of the folks were freaked out by the clowns and I was trying to not exhibit any fear so the attention would get directed to everyone else
-that one group confession/conversation we had in our room where people brought up their insecurities and feeling left out; I later confided in you about my hesitance with everyone trying to uplift each other through their looks
-going tubing toward the end of the year with J and trying to blow up those damn tubes! You had to blow mine up eventually because I was running out of breath
-the next time going tubing with everyone and it being a mess! Definitely thought we were going to die a few times (there was one particular moment where some of us were trying to latch onto a tree but there were bugs on it, and behind us TT and someone else -- was it you? -- got stuck on a shallow pebbly area)
-during graduation, I pulled you and T together to introduce to my parents, purposely to pad their meeting with T. I was hoping also that your dad would get along w my dad but they barely talked :[ 
-visiting you and H with T in August! I remember paddle boarding with y’all (lots of fun), watching you all play games, and going to eat pizza and trying kombucha for the first time. That was a much needed break from my family then
-you and J coming to visit for my bday! We went to Ktown and sang karaoke and ate bbq (J said that while we were waiting in line some girl passed by and gave me a judging side-eye); watching the Parent Trap with you; us all sitting in the pool area and chatting (K and JN came with a cake! it was so good) about the future and all its unknown
-the two wonderful weeks in Taiwan :) the pace was good and I really appreciated having you show me your city (and also exploring new places with you). I remember waking up early and staring out your window as you snoozed next to me; your smelly dog and me not knowing how to pet him; going to the most beautiful little thermal spa (and taking advantage of our time there alone); going to night markets with you and of course getting my ears pierced :)); playing with super fluffy cats at the cat cafe; scoping cute stores and cafes at the artsy warehouse area; eating that nasty eel in Tainan; biking around in Tainan and then you getting bird poop on your scarf (!); the cute capsule hostel in Kenting; driving scooters around Kenting and being terrified of the wind. I’d love to do something like that again, with a nice pace to explore a place that’s less familiar to us both and maybe through a decolonized lens :)
-seeing you and J in the Bay Area after you moved there. We were taking all kinds of photos with different flowers in your neighborhood; going to First Friday in Oakland; eating at a cafe in Berkeley and spotting Nick Robinson even though you and J were sure I was mistaking him; us eating cioppino in that one seafood restaurant outside (I don’t think it was very impressive)
-you came back again in like October and we went to see A in the burbs. It was practically blizzarding and we tried to go to that one mall but ended up at a Mexican resto. I think we ended up going back to her place to play Life? 
-spending Christmas, another precious chill time :) painting ornaments; decorating the tree; you and that puzzle (which still lies on our floor); cooking everyday; watching Strong Girl; going to that comedy show with my cousin and walking back in the cold; going to see the Christmas lights and paying money to see a rather unimpressive “4d experience”; buying a butcher’s knife and you hacking away at some chicken bones happily because I was too scared to do it
-hiking in March was also fun! You chose a beautiful and lovely b&b. I remember exchanging music with you (lots of Spanish electropop); eating that overpriced hotpot; and taking a bunch of photos while waiting for pizza
-seeing you again in June (feeling claustrophobic; going to that strange queer fashion show), 
-August (going to see Yuna <3; that bike trip where you and T were going so fast; eating food at that little pagoda with our hodgepodge of food which was actually pretty good; having Thai temple brunch), 
-September (2x! Spending time with my sister and all the stress incurred on us both that came with it before and after; I really appreciated you being there for me; getting good vegan food and trying but failing to find a plan for M; and trying to find hotpot mix all over the store but it was right under our noses?? -- the 2nd trip you came to Chicago and we watched Hamilton!!) 
-and then November (going to see Mean Girls in NYC and you were waiting in line with that white saviour-seeming lady and the guy in the t-shirt; trying to meet each other’s friends; eating at Modern Love --still the most inspiring place I’ve eaten in 2019 aside from the Mexican Michelin place T and I went to for our anniv; walking around the park and you giving me a leaf for a bookmark which I actually kept for like a month)! 
So many times this year lol, often unexpected and last minute. I’m sure there are plenty other memories rolling around in the back of my mind but these are the ones I wanted to highlight. Although I don’t know when we’ll reunite next, I have no doubt we’ll continue to support and uphold each other no matter the distance and time. You’ve been such a funny, supportive, insightful, and passionate part of many of my best memories in these past few years. I don’t say it enough but I hope you recognise the influence you’ve had on my life and those of others. Thank you, and I love you <3
Onwards to 2020!
W (December 30, 2019)
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