#also has anyone noticed that if you combine the names Death Star and Skywalker you get Deathstalker

[odsalt]

James Ironwood and Darth Vader

A long time ago, in a town probably close to where I live now -- I've moved a lot during my life but never went far -- I watched the original Star Wars trilogy on VHS when I was a very little girl.

I vaguely remembered it. Growing up, I never really was a Star Wars fan. Didn't care about it before it became a Disney property, and certainly didn't care about it after. But some time in the year 2020, that oh so gloriously miserable year, I watched the original trilogy with my sister. We watched it on Disney+, so it was the newest version, I imagine.

I honestly enjoyed it. I really did. Now that I'm older, I was able to appreciate it for what it was and I can't believe there was ever a time that Star Wars didn't exist.

But then, eventually, at a Half Price Books store, my sister and I found something interesting. A VHS box set.

Of the original trilogy. Nearly brand new, but obviously old, as telling by the fact that they were video tapes. Oh, and it also came complete with coupons that expired in the 90s.

We got it for 10 bucks.

The original Star Wars trilogy has met its fair share of edits throughout its existence, but we recently learned that our new old copy -- which we started watching on May the 4th because we’re nerds like that -- was hardly edited since the original original version, if edited at all. Han shot first.

But that's not what this post is about. I just wanted to give a little of my backstory in regards to Star Wars so that I can show my basic understanding of the series. You may be wondering why I titled this post "James Ironwood and Darth Vader". Well we'll get into that now.

Darth Vader was once described as being "more machine than man". General James Ironwood was once described as losing his humanity with every organic body part that he lost. If you've been around these parts, you have seen people say, or you have said yourself, that this comment about Ironwood is insensitive and ableist.

Because it is. Becoming disabled and/or losing your organic body parts does not make you less human, and your replacement parts or aids are not "extra", as Yang Xiao Long would try to have you believe. So much for her arc of accepting her mechanical arm as part of her, huh?

So why are we upset about the comment about Ironwood but not the one made about Darth Vader? Both men may or may not believe that they are less human than they used to be. Other characters may or may not believe that as well. So what's the difference?

The difference is that Luke appealed to Vader's humanity. He believed there was still a human being in there, and he believed it till the very end. And it paid off.

No one, literally no one, not even his right hand Winter Schnee, whom he had been a father-figure to (as Vader was Luke's father), appealed to Ironwood's humanity. No one tried to convince him that he was human no matter what. Nobody cared. He didn't have a Luke Skywalker to believe in him. Ironwood's allusion was the Tinman, not because he didn't have a heart (he did), but because he didn't have anyone else's. Nobody cared about Ironwood in the end, none of the characters were written to even try, not even Ozpin, the one person who has been shown to care about all of humanity and was once one of James’ closest friends and allies.

Vader and Ironwood were both human, even if others did not view them as such. Both died human, but only one was recognized as human in the end, and it wasn’t Ironwood.

Crwby tries to make R W B Y be a lot of things, and I’m quite certain Star Wars is one of them. But they completely miss what makes Star Wars, and other media R W B Y copies from or is inspired by, special. You can have a character who some may see as "more machine than man". The mistake lies in whether or not you as the writer and creator, see them as human, and when you don't have anyone try to appeal to that character's humanity, that's when you come off as uncaring, unsympathetic, insensitive, and ignorant.

And that's where you’ve failed.

#rwde #james ironwood #general ironwood #darth vader #star wars #Long post #Winter carried volume 7 on her back #but dropped the ball in volume 8 #I honestly don't know how i feel about her at this point #And team r w b y WISHES they were a Star Wars protagonist #Sorry just some extra thoughts #also has anyone noticed that if you combine the names Death Star and Skywalker you get Deathstalker? #you know #that scorpion Grimm? #probably doesn't mean anything

[vagrantblvrd]

about the sweethearts au - how does din react to knowing luke told his friends about him?

(Sweethearts AU)

Oooh, okay, so.

It never really occurs to Luke to tell Din that he was his ~sweetheart from home story?

Because they weren’t really sweethearts, you know? Maybe right on the edge of something, but Din couldn’t stay, and then the thing with Artoo and C-3PO and everything.

But wartime and people need nice stories, memories to carry them through the rough patches, and anyway. It just never occurs to Luke to mention it to Din.

And then a few weeks, months, whatever after they get the chance to move past those bittersweet memories on Tatooine Han or Wedge or whoever comes to visit.

Because they have hear, alright, they have heard that Luke went and found himself a student for that school of his. A student that comes with a Mandalorian-shaped father and the two of them have been fixing the place up for Luke’s student and future students.

It’s this combination of curiosity about what Luke’s been up to lately and maybe some completely reasonable worry about Luke’s well-being. What with him being a wanted person in many places due to one thing or another, and someone mentioned this Mandalorian is an excellent bounty hunter?

So off they go to Yavin 4 or wherever, very “Oh, we just happened to be in the area and decided to check in, see how things are and such, hahaha.”

Obvious lie, but Luke rolls his eyes and gives Din this look, lets him know they’re maybe not harmless, but they’re not a threat, and Din defers to Luke’s judgement on the matter, and anyway,

Han and Wedge are HMMM because that was a Meaningful Look Luke gave his Mandalorian, and since when did he give Meaningful Looks to people outside his circle of Trusted People???

Anyway.

Shenanigans in which they try to get any information at all about Din out of Luke and Din himself, and are given crumbs at best.

And then one night and, idk, a storm or something where they all stay inside and someone brings out a pack of sabacc cards or whatever. Booze shows up - Han or Wedge, possibly both, and anyway.

“So, Mando,” Han says, studying his cards. “Luke didn’t mention how the two of you met?”

(Luke knows Din doesn’t give his name out to many people, holds it close to his heart, and anyway. If he wants Han to have it, Din will give it to him himself.)

Din gives Luke a ??? look because he didn’t think it was a secret? But Luke is watching Han with narrowed eyes and anyway -

“We met on Tatooine,” Din says, and dealer calls and anyway.

It goes on like that, Din, and Luke, giving Han and Wedge information about their relationship with each hand until Din wins the first game. Rakes in his winnings, and gives Luke a cut because of course the two of them are playing their own game against Han and Wedge and anyway.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Han says, after losing his second straight game of the night. “You two met on Tatooine when Luke was working in Mos Eisley?“

Han and Wedge and one too many drinks to do any kind of good math, and it takes that long for dots to be connected.

Wedge perks up, eyeing Luke who turns his head to look him right in his beady little eyes, eyebrow raised and Wedge starts laughing because he knows that look.

Laughs so hard he drops his cards and doesn’t even care because Luke Skywalker wartime sweetheart is the guy in shiny beskar sitting next to him.

The one this pair of X-wing pilots stationed in the Outer Rim mentioned in passing, trouble magnet and one hell of a pilot and someone should make sure he poor bastard gets some rest at some point, and anyway.

Han looks at Wedge all ??? before Wedge points at Din, at Luke, and wheezes out the word sweethearts like a dying man telling a witness the name of his killer, and anyway.

That’s how those two idiots figure it out.

But then later, okay, later.

Luke and Din going off to their place, Luke possibly a little unsteady because he can hold his alcohol sure, but it’s been a while and Din was like “Maybe don’t use your Jedi abilities to sober up when you’re unable to walk in a straight line.”

Like, my dude, please don’t mess with your body chemistry or whatever nonsense while drunk, because Din cannot see it ending well, and anyway.

The two of them going about their bedtime routines, Din all soft and fond and amused because Luke’s coordination is just that little bit off, and he watches Luke fumbling about without his usual grace and it’s just.

Adorable, not that he’d ever tell Luke that - the man’s kind of a bastard when he wants to be.

And then, them climbing into bed, and Luke is all...huffy because Han! And Wedge! And he just kind of flails a bit, annoyed but mostly fondly exasperated by his friends and family and favorite idiots.

Din is just, “You never told anyone?”

Not because he’s upset, because he didn’t tell anyone about Luke either. Alluded to him, perhaps, but. Like Luke when he told them about his sweetheart, he didn’t want other to have that piece of him.

(Luke gave them the story of him and Din, but he things out, and not just the bit about Din being a Mandalorian to keep from getting Han worked up.)

Anyway.

Luke is like...not exactly.

Which makes Din all, OH??? and Luke sighs, burrowing into Din’s side because he’s warm and and familiar and loved, and also because it might let him get away with insisting he’s not blushing when he tells Din about the everything.

(He doesn’t, because Din can feel when Luke blushes, heat in his cheeks and the sound of his voice, and anyway, he knows. Still lets Luke he got away with it, but Din knows.)

Luke tells him about being a dumb kid caught up in a war, a kid who destroyed the Death Star at nineteen and even at twenty-eight is still trying to come to grips with that.

This dumb kid caught up in a war and a Figure he never asked to be, and this very small group of people who still treated him like that dumb kid no matter what weird shit happened to him.

Tells him about sleepless night and nightmares and wandering the base like a lost spirit. Being drawn to this little bubble that seemed to exist outside of all that with these people who looked at him and saw that dumb kid he really was no matter what.

The kind of stories they told one another when things became too heavy for any one of them to carry alone, and Luke who didn’t really have much in the way the others did.

But he had the memories of this Mandalorian he met, mostly likely annoyed, pestered, because - and Din may not know this, but there was a time Luke was worse than he is now about those kind of things.

“Hm,” Din says, playing with Luke’s hair, tugs gently on a lock of his hair before tucking it behind his ear. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Luke laughing against Din’s side and lifting his had to scowl at him because rude, alright? Rude.

So anyway, okay, anyway.

Luke told them about Din, gave them that much of himself because they’d already given him so much without realizing it, and just.

“It was a happy memory,” Luke says. He didn’t really have many of them the others would understand.

And Din, okay.

Din’s never fought in a war, never been a soldier.

He’s been a fighter for most of his life, yes. Sold his services when he had to, fought to protect his covert and those who couldn’t fight for themselves.

So.

He doesn’t fully understand what Luke went through during the war, what the others did, but he understands the need for stories like that, and anyway, anyway.

He understands.

BUT ALSO.

Once Han and Wedge know the whole thing about Din being Luke’s wartime sweetheart news travels fast among Luke’s inner circle.

They get all these people poking their nose into things, Luke flustered and exasperated and Din all ??? and :DDDDDDDDDDDD at Luke’s reaction.

And also, though, also.

Relieved, grateful, that so many people want to meet this person who holds Luke’s heart in his hands, who want to know Luke is being treated he way he deserves because has seen so many times the way Luke gives so much of himself to others, keeps so little for himself, and anyway,

He’s just.

Honored, humbled, whatnot that Luke used their story to bolster his spirits and those of his friends in bad times, because he didn’t expect to mean so much to him?

And also, okay, also.

Din confessing to Luke there were times he looked back at those moments on Tatooine when things were bad in his own life. That yes, okay, Tatooine was a good place to pick up work or find one of his bounties, but some part of him hoped he might run into a familiar face again, and just.

Yes.

#star wars nonsense #dinluke #sweethearts #technically not a fic #vagrant fic #long post #Anonymous

[starlightkenobi]

Tear You Apart // Anakin x Reader

rating: explicit

warnings: dom anakin, light choking, light hair pulling, mostly just pining tbh

a/n: inspired by the song “tear you apart” by she wants revenge, i love this song and its always given me possessive ani vibes,,, LIKE U WANNA LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT THIS ISNT END OF ROTS ANAKIN BEFORE HE GETS BURNT ? YOU GONNA TRY ? YOU CANT !

also: this is the longest thing i have written for this account and i am pretty darn proud of it which is rare for me, so i hope yall enjoy !!! 💕

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right

At the right place and right time, maybe tonight

And the whisper or handshake sending a sign

Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind

Anakin’s mind ebbed and flowed with the tide of people wandering the room. He always hated these formal Jedi gatherings, usually coming up with some convoluted scheme to get out of attending. Not tonight though, Obi Wan was completely fed up with Anakin’s usual antics. His stern voice still haunted his ears, and remembering it filled him with remnants of dread.

He was so sick of all of it. The annoyingly forced casual conversations, the same people, same faces, even the same damn Jedi robes, save the few senators mingled into the room. All of the people faded into one dull energy, like a black hole draining Anakin’s energy and enthusiasm. He was sure that if he had to choose between this and death, he would pick death without hesitation.

That was, until he layed his eyes on you.

You walked with such presence, such grace, that it was impossible for someone to not notice you. Your robes hugged your figure and flattered you in a way that Anakin didn’t even know was possible. Your hair hung around your head, flowing around you and illuminating your features like a halo. Which was quite possible, Anakin thought, considering you might be an actual angel in the flesh.

Your flesh. Anakin pictured how soft it would be under his touch, the goosebumps that would arise after the cold touch of his metal hand. To touch real skin, to have that real contact...Anakin was touch starved to be sure. But now, he was ravenous, and you were the only meal he’d seen in years.

A voice in his mind screamed at him, a voice that was very stern and similar to Obi Wan’s disappointed father-like tone, if he thought about it. But he didn’t want to think about it, he wanted to ignore the raging thoughts that screamed, Listen to yourself, Anakin. Your being gross and creepy. Calm down.

Luckily, he didn’t need to ignore them. The second you turned around and yours eyes met, he was gone. Those thoughts were drowned out by even louder ones that told him to scoop you up right there, claim you as his, test the feeling of his lips on yours.

Your lips looked so soft, and even from this distance he could almost feel them pressing against his skin, see them falling open in a drawn out moan. And your eyes, sparkling like the stars in the clear skies of Naboo on a dark night. Deep and endless like the expanse of space that he so often saw while piloting his starfighter. Even still, they were flowing with a lifetime of emotion and soul that couldn’t be seen in all of the other Jedi in this room combined.

Emotion, pure and raw emotion. He always felt so wrong and alone, being emotional. Considering he had been told all of his life that emotions were not the Jedi way. But you, standing in front of him right now, were made of pure emotion and experience and feeling, something that could not be put into words, but only expressed.

Anakin’s heart stopped as he realized that you were actually standing right in front of him. In his trance, you noticed him staring and decided to approach him.

“Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met.” No flattery, no pointless and boring casual conversation. You cut right to the chase, and it intrigued him even more.

“We definitely haven’t, there’s no way I would forget meeting you.” A smirk tugged at the corner of his lip, and your cheeks flushed. A lovely, tinted pink. “I’m Anakin. Skywalker.” He added his last name, hoping that you might recognize it.

“General Skywalker...I’ve heard tales of your escapades, and especially of your unusual war tactics.” Your blush begun to fade, but a light pink still remained. It was absolutely adorable, Anakin decided, and he wondered how flushed your face would get with his mouth trailing down your neck.

“Do my unusual tactics bother you?” Anakin asked, and he visibly appeared less tense then he did moments ago. You were so easy to talk to, and your force energy felt so soothing around him. He wanted to be enveloped in it. Maybe it was some circumstance of fate that he was forced to attend this gathering tonight. Maybe it was this same fate that brought him to you.

“Not at all. As a matter of fact, I’m intrigued.” You gave him your name, and reached your hand towards his, expecting him to shake it. However, the soft skin of your hand was too much of a temptation. As soon as he felt your touch, he pressed his lips gently to the back of your hand. Normaly, you would have been annoyed with the flirtatious advances of someone so early into meeting them. But this felt different, it felt new and strange and somehow, comforting.

Needless to say, you were completely drawn in and wanted more.

Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her

Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped

But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light

When she walked in, he froze up, believe its the fright

A deep breath of fresh air filled Anakin’s lungs as he stepped out onto the balcony. The crowds of people had been practically suffocating him, and to finally have some peace and quiet alone with the stars felt magical. Maybe this is what the Jedi mean when they say, “There is no emotion, there is peace.” Out here, with nothing but the endless black sky and the stars, Anakin did feel at peace. However, that didn’t stop the torrent of emotions swirling in his gut. So he figured that old, tired saying was bullshit anyways.

“Fancy seeing you out here.” He recognized it immediately. Your voice, like a serene melody, filled his ears. Immediately, he spun around, desperate to see your face again. This time, however, he felt nervous when he saw you. Afraid, even. So many thoughts were flooding his head all at once that it almost became to much.

“I...wasn’t expecting anyone to join me.” Ankain fumbled over his words, staggering to uphold his good impression on you.

“I can leave, if you’d prefer to be alone. I completely understand. These gatherings can get a bit...claustrophobic.” Your voice was softer now, and Anakin could tell that you were trying to mask the hurt in your tone. You would have turned around and walked away without a word, had he asked, but Anakin wouldn’t allow that. As soon as you turned to leave, he reached out toward your hand and took it in his own.

“No!” Anakin almost shouted, and even though he was afraid, he was ready to embrace any new and strange emotions if it meant getting to spend another moment with you. He steadied himself, preparing another sentence. “Your company is more than welcome.”

A smile tugged at your lips, reveling in his hand warming your now cool skin from the breeze. His hands were so much larger than yours, you noticed. Somehow, it made you feel safer, more comfortable. Anakin noticed and gripped your hand tighter.

Standing here, so close to you and in this lighting, he was finally able to see all of the fine detail in your eyes. The little speckles of color forming their own constellations in your galaxy. He could have sworn they were faintly glowing, each star producing its own aura of light.

You turned towards the sky, gazing up at it with all of the longing in the galaxy. Of course Anakin noticed it, he felt the same way about space. “Isn’t it beautiful?” Unconsciously, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear that had blown out of place from the wind. “Each little star feels like it has a life of its own, it’s own personality and feelings and emotions. I guess that’s why space has always called to me, the stars don’t judge.”

Anakin, still holding your hand, turned to the sky with you. “Yeah. I know exactly what you mean.”

Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak

And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak

An escape is just a nod and a casual wave

Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days

After that first night together, meeting at the Jedi gathering and talking for hours out on the balcony, the only thing Anakin had in his mind was you. Sure, maybe he was a little obsessed, but you gave him this feeling, something that he had never really felt before. He had felt love before, for his mother and even for Obi Wan, so he knew what that felt like. Maybe, he felt that for you too.

But he felt something else as well, something new and strange. Lust, perhaps, but Anakin wasn’t ready to deal with that yet. Right now, Anakin was perfectly content with the secret meetings around the temple, the constant excuses just to get out of some task and see each other, the longing gazes, the phantom touches.

For a while, it was heaven. It was new and exciting and absolutely perfect. But this went on for days, weeks, and now almost two months. He craved feeling your touch in a way that the council would disapprove of. He wanted to break all of the rules, destroy all of the boundaries set by the Jedi, and he wanted to do it for you.

But he was patient, when he needed to be. If he had learned anything from Obi Wan, it was at least that. So he would wait until you made the first “not strictly platonic Jedi pals” move. He would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, or do something that you weren’t ready for. Maybe you hadn’t even considered breaking the rules, maybe you felt nothing for him. Deep down, Anakin knew this wasn’t true, he sensed your mutual feelings for him all the way back on the day you first met, and every day since.

Still, for you, Anakin would wait a lifetime.

It's only just a crush, it'll go away

It's just like all the others it'll go away

Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know

You pray it all away but it continues to grow

Anakin was struggling. Obi Wan sensed it, you sensed it, practically the whole council sensed it. But no one knew why. No one except him.

Anakin tried meditation, he tried training, he tried joy rides in his starfighter, he even tried sneaking off to a cantina. No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. It became a festering sore in the back of his mind, growing and growing with each passing day. It was getting out of hand, and he understood this. And it was frustrating as hell.

But it also felt so damn good to picture your body splayed out underneath him. He wanted to make you feel good. He needed to make you feel good. He owed that to you at least, for giving him this never ending sense of joy and content when he was around you. He did love you, and could say that with certainty now. And when it comes to love, you would do anything for the other person. That’s what Anakin believed, at least. He just needed to wait a little longer, wait until you confessed your feelings and pressed your lips to his. His waited a lifetime to find someone like you, he can wait a little longer.

But even the most patient person needs to relieve the tension a little bit sometimes.

I want to hold you close

Skin pressed against me tight

Lie still, and close your eyes girl

So lovely, it feels so right

Anakin’s hands dragged up your body, gripping your skin tight enough to leave bruises. You felt so perfect around him, moaning and whimpering and begging for more.

At least, that’s what he hoped you would be doing in this situation. His hands weren’t even really on your body at all. One was fisted in the sheets while the other stroked up and down on his stiff cock. He had been at this for a little bit by now, and was already so close to the edge. He just needed your voice, your perfect voice, telling him how good he felt inside of you to send him over.

“A-Ani...you feel...s-so good, you make me feel so good!”

He could almost hear you, if he tried hard enough.

I want to hold you close

Soft breasts, beating heart

As I whisper in your ear

Streaks of hot cum painted his chest and hand, some even reaching up to touch his chin. His chest heaved, the last images of your body flooding his head. Your breasts painted with his cum was an image he wanted to keep with him, one that he hoped to recreate some day.

It was criminal, the things you did to him. He could only hope that you were feeling like this now too. Still panting and in his post orgasm haze, he closed his eyes and whispered aloud. He called out to you through the force, hoping that somehow you would hear him whisper,

“I want to fucking tear you apart.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Then he walked up and told her, thinking that he'd passed

And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance

Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there

Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare

Both your’s and Anakin’s laughter filled the room. You were both hiding out in your quarters due to currently ditching a Jedi council meeting. Easily and casually, the laughter and conversation filled the room, and you both felt like a bunch of younglings who had skipped a training class.

As the laughter died down, you turned to face him. His laughter was one of the many things you loved about him. It was full and genuine and raw in a way that touched you emotionally. A way that you no longer wished to ignore.

“How long are we going to keep ignoring this?”

Anakin’s traded his smile for the look of a confused puppy. “What?”

You composed yourself, wanting to choose your words carefully. “I mean...the fact that we both have feelings for each other.”

Oh, Anakin thought.

Oh.

He was relieved that you were finally deciding to open up this can of worms, but he was still nervous and frankly, terrified of the possible outcome of this conversation. He looked away from you, unable to bring himself to make eye contact.

Taking it upon yourself to initiate some sort of contact, you tentatively reached for his hand. It brushed up against his, so you gently placed it on top of his and left it there.

“I’m tired of worrying about what the council thinks, aren’t you?” You questioned, still waiting for Anakin to look at you.

Slowly, his eyes met yours. He saw the lack of fear, lack of inhibition. You really wanted this, you wanted him. Your hand tightened its grip on his, your thumb slowly running along his skin.

“I love you, Anakin.” Your voice cane out hushed, as if you were afraid someone else would hear, even though you were alone.

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do

'Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school

But their lips met, and reservations started to pass

Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

“Are you sure that you want this? Are you ready to deal with the potential repercussions from the council? I just don’t want to hurt you, and I certainly don’t want to start anything that you aren’t ready for.”

You chuckled at his restraint. Still, you appreciated how much he cared for you. Clearly it was a lot, considering that you felt his desperation you through the force to just take you, but he was holding back anyways. For you.

“Believe me, Anakin. I’m ready. You don’t have to hold back.” You were looking at him with such lust, such need, that Anakin knew this was an invitation, and he accepted it with open arms.

Either way he wanted her and this was bad

He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy

Now a little crush turned into a like

And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

He pinned you back onto the bed, gathering your wrists into one hand. Frantically, as if he was afraid you would disappear, he nipped and sucked at your neck, leaving marks that he knew the council would notice. Neither of you cared anyways.

It didn’t matter what the council thought, Anakin was ravenous. He wanted all of you, and now with your enthusiastic permission, he was going to take it.

His free hand tangled into your hair and pulled your head back, giving him easier access to your neck. You were squirming, whining, you needed to be touched. You had waited for this just as long as he had, so he would keep the teasing to a minimum.

He let go of your wrists and hair, shooting you a warning glare. “Keep them there.” His voice was deep, dominant, and it shot daggers through you. This sent a shiver down to your core.

I want to hold you close

Skin pressed against me tight

Lie still, and close your eyes girl

So lovely, it feels so right

You were both stripped down now, his eyes traveling up your naked body. You were more beautiful than he could have ever pictured. His lips crashed forcefully against yours, and he slowly grinded against you. He needed to feel your skin pressed tightly against him, hust kike he had pictured before. Except this time, you were real. He was really feeling your skin against his and it felt so perfect and right and better than any sort of peace and serenity the Jedi talked about.

“Close your eyes, baby.” Anakin said in a hushed tone as he pulled away from your lips. Immediately and with a whimper, you obeyed. Anakin chuckled at this, your eager obedience. “Good girl.” He growled. A soft moan fell from your lips as you squirmed, but still keeping your hands firmly placed above your head.

I want to hold you close

Soft breasts, beating heart

As I whisper in your ear

One hand finally made contact with your throbbing clit, while the other went to play with your breasts. Your heartbeat was so strong and quick that Anakin could feel it when he played with your breast.

“Your heart is beating so fast, like a little bunny.” He pinched your nipple, somehow knowing the exact pressure to use and how much to tug it to make you moan.

A finger slipped inside of you, giving you some sort of realese of the pressure building in your cunt. Suddenly, Anakin’s breath was fanning over the side of your face. It tickled your ear and made you squirm more than you already are.

Gently, he placed a loving kiss to your cheek, before moving his hand from your breast to your throat and lightly squeezing, while he whispered in your ear,

“I want to fucking tear you apart.”

#ok so before anyone says anything i know that rabbits arent technically a thing in star wars #BUT i thought of that line and thought it was really hot so i used it anyways #anakin skywalker #star wars #fanfic #the clone wars #smut #anakin x reader #anakin smut

[mysterious-prophetess]

I ranted about this on another post, but I really have nothing nice to say about 7,8, and 9 now that I know what I know about behind the scenes bullshit. 

The thing that pissed me off the most was finding out why my favorite of the new characters-Finn-was turned into a useless character, but I digress. 

So, how could I have fixed this inconsistent trilogy to be more my liking (and a little more consistent) without getting rid of any of the new primary characters?

Edit added later by more awake me: This is going to get long AND There are bound to be sleep-addled mistakes.

Starting with 7  Set it farther into the future. 

If Disney wanted to avoid Lucas’s legacy characters at all costs (as it would appear) then setting it in a time where all should be dead would be the easiest side step.

Like instead of 30-some-odd years into the future, make is 130 or 200 years. That way, Luke fading into being some sort of mythic being would make a lot more sense. Han Solo too. 

BB-8′s map now leads to Luke Skywalker’s tomb. The reasons to find it could be a)proof jedi existed, b) rumors of a hidden weapon of great power, c) rumors of it hiding a terrible secret that could shake the galaxy to its core, or d) some kind of combination of all of the above. 

 Kylo Ren can still be a Skywalker descendant. He can even still be Leia’s direct descendant. He just doesn’t have to be her son (who should have been named for Bail Organa and not Obi-wan “Ben” Kenobi).

Rey and Finn’s backstories don’t have to change all that much. Rey was abandoned on Jakku. Finn was stolen to be a storm trooper. Finn defects. Rey find him and BB-8 etc. 

Poe can even still be the dashing pilot just no former drug smuggler backstory because that was a yikes. Instead, he could have had a past as a street racer or a regular circuit racer.

They can even still find the Falcon. it’d make even more sense for Rey to call it garbage and think it couldn’t fly. Poe isn’t a damsel this time. He gets separated from Finn but meets up with him and Rey in town and they have to book it. He’s still too dazed to fly, so Rey has to do it. He could then be the one to suggest getting to Mazz’s place. Rey can even still find Anakin’s lightsaber. 

Kylo can still catch her. All the other stuff can still happen, except no Starkiller Baser. No Death Star planets. No death stars period. Instead Finn knows which is the main base but is too frightened to go, but Poe could inspire him to face his fears for Rey or something. 

Maybe there’s a heist/rescue mission planned with Resistance HQ. They need Finn’s intel and he can still be janitor but people don’t realize how much janitors see or what they know, which makes him vital for planning this heist. Because aside form Rey they’re after a McGuffin. IDK maybe R2D2′s CPU/memory components because R2 will still have most of the map, and a fragment that was found will be stored in BB-8 like before. 

We can have a tet-a-tet between Finn and Phasma, Finn nearly losing but new friends helping him. Rey can still free herself after she witnesses Kylo using the mind trick on a fellow prisoner (who he killed afterwards once he’d gotten what he wanted). Rey is cautious as she steals a blaster and nearly blasts a fleeing group of Resistance fighters who managed to purloin R2′s parts and falls in with them. They end up cornered a la the end of Attack of the Clones, but this time their reinforcements is Finn using the base’s own security against it with shields like from the Phantom Meance snapping up and trapping the majority of the First Order troops. Rey gets a moment to shine too as she summons the lightsaber to her hand after Kylo cuts down on of their allies as they’re fleeing because the security didn’t kick in with enough time to block him. 

So, she’s on defense the whole time as they flee. Kylo does something to hurt Finn or Poe or both and Rey gives into the dark side for a bit before Finn, Poe, or both snap her out of it and they manage to work together to injure Kylo enough to flee to the waiting ships to scram. 

Cut to the Resistance attempting to retrieve the data, but Rey as a junker/scrapper realizes that it’d be easier to put him in a new astromech shell. So she does so, and R2 is back and after several back-and-forths in binary between BB-8 and R2 the map is projected and BB-8 completes it. 

But, in a twist, they have no starting coordinates, which means they’ve only half gotten what they need. Poe looking at it points out there are only three or four possible places in the galaxy they could start from which means there are only three or four possible destinations: Jakku, Tattooine, Utapu, and Ahch-Toh. 

They can rule out Jakku. The First Order had been there. If Luke Skywalker’s tomb was on that planet, it would have been found. Plus the last map fragment was there, making it all the more unlikely it was there. Tatooine is also out because Luke was from Tattooine, or so the legends said, and it was the first place people looked. Leaving Ahch-toh and Utapu. End 7 there.

8 picks up with a year or so having passed. Utapu, it turned out, was a dead end. Ahch-toh, on the other hand, while not containing Luke’s tomb did have a bunch of evidence he’d been there. In fact, there was evidence of some of what happened to his New Jedi Order and why they vanished.The problem is, as Rey struggles with learning the force from the sacred texts and avoiding the temptation of the Dark Side after tasting it in the previous story, has to also avoid Kylo Ren hunting her as well as the First Order’s dogged pursuit of the Resistance Fleet. Plus, she also has to deal with the other Knights of Ren--fellow force sensitives recruited and trained by Kylo Ren’s master. Only, they all want her dead. Their ambitions are why. No new Knight=less competition for advancement in the Knights of Ren. They also sabotage one-another often. They’re Sith. Backstabbing is what they do. 8 is essentially a race against time since the First Order managed to have a spy steal intel they’d gotten from Ahch-Toh that essentially led them on another hunt for the Tomb of Skywalker and this time they would not be denied. 

Also, Rey is trying to find out what happened to her parents as well and why she was left on Jakku. Finn is also looking for his family. Poe is doing what he can to help. Finn was much easier to track intel down on, and finds his missing person’s report in the holonet equivalent of the “have you see me” database. It’s still hard to find his parents but they have a home world: Corellia. Which actually was harder because Corellia is a very populated planet. They do eventually find out his parents were spacers and he was stolen right off their ship while they were stopped for repairs. They were still looking for him. Finn’s plotline could come down to him choosing between finding out who he was in the past, or staying with building the person he wanted to be in the present. Finn chooses to stay Finn, for now. 

They think the Tomb’s on Endor’s Forest Moon. The wreckage of Death Star 2 looms in the distance (what little of it didn’t blow out into space or get burnt up in the atmosphere or pulled into Endor’s own atmosphere and destroyed because gas giants are no joke) when they land and they’re led into the forests where they find a simple cairn marked with the name “Anakin Skywalker.” After confusion over “Who the Sith is Anakin Skywalker? I thought his name was Luke?” occurs, the First Order shows up to ruin their day. They had the right idea, but the tomb of the wrong Skywalker after all. They had misread the coordinates and were off by approx two kilometers. They need Rey, however to help open the tomb because it was locked in such a way you need light side and darkside to open it and the Knights of Ren are fresh out of Light Side techniques. 

This could also play into Rey’s struggles with the dark side being a problem at first too. She could grow as she sees what the dark side has done to the Knights of Ren. Playing off her psychometric vision from the canon trilogy, that could be her special talent and she can see visions of who they were before being twisted by their master and the dark side clouding their minds. This could be something that gives her the strength to reject it later. They go into the tomb of Luke Skywalker and Rey is plunged into the mother-of-all visions from the past. It shows fragment of what happened to the new order, and how it all went so wrong. It could even show Luke withdrawing from the galaxy out of some misguided idea of “no one can misuse my teachings if they can’t find me or them” Luke dying alone and Leia finding him later and burying him on Endor. but seeing he wasn’t wrong so, with a sense of the dramatic she inherited from her biological parents set up the trails and maps to try to weed out those who would seek the knowledge for power and domination. It’s then that Leia’s force ghost makes her presence known to Rey but not Kylo. Leia leads Rey to a hidden cache. 

Kylo tries to tempt her after she finds that within the cache are merely two kyber crystals and a holoprojector that had an image of Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie together with a golden thumb at the bottom edge of the image. To Rey with her powers, there are memories encoded within that she can access, but to anyone else, these appeared useless.

Kylo has noticed her skills and tries to say the dark side could help her find out what happened to her parents. that it could amplify her powers enough for her to see the past of herself. Throughout, the film she’s seen Finn struggle with his choices and realized along the way through the trials and such with Finn and Poe that she doesn’t need to know who her parents were to know who she is. She’s Rey of the Resistance and that’s enough for her.

There’s a showdown, the tomb gets destroyed and Poe ends up injured enough to need a bacta coma and Finn shows force potential for the first time. Poe had thrown himself in front of an underhanded attack meant for Rey who’d taken her eyes off the Knight thinking they were down. The hero part of the film ends with Finn and Rey outside Poe’s tank worriedly watching him.

Unbeknownst to the heroes, Kylo did manage to find something in the tomb: it was a piece of tech Rey overlooked and a way for the First Order to find more force sensitives than ever before: a fabled Midichlorian Tester. A device thought lost to the ages now within his and the First Order’s grasp. Soon, they would crush all who’d oppose them and end the Light Side’s teachings forever.

 End 8

9 will start with Rey and Finn force training with their limited texts and a few holocrons they’d managed to find thanks to the texts mentioning that they were a thing and what they looked like. It’s been a year and Poe’s slowly recovering. He was kept in the bacta coma for most of it and is in physical therapy now. He’s dealing with the possibility that he’ll never fly again. 

Rey and Finn are dealing with the fact that more knights of Ren are appearing than ever and every time they try to find a new recruit for their light side order, the knights scoop them time and again and with their superior numbers and better training, it’s a near scrape for Rey and Finn to get away. On the bright side, they’d managed to make new lightsabers and Rey had modified her old staff into a light staff, making her fighting style a lot more smooth after she stopped trying to emulate what she’d seen Kylo and his knights do. Their arc is about building forwards and standing up to evil in spite of their overwhelming odds. It’s hard for both Rey and Finn. Finn, who still has some buried fears of the First Order and Rey who is still somewhat traumatized from what happened to Poe because of her inattention. She has to realize that it’s not her fault, that Poe has his own choices to make in life, and that the result was because Poe cared and her guilt was because she cared too. Rey’s over all arc would be about realizing why the old jedi were against attachments and finding that she can still love Finn and Poe, but she has to be able to handle letting them go. 

Finn’s got to learn to let go of his fears and learn to trust in the Force as well. After escaping the First Order, he has trouble with trusting authority and doesn’t join the Resistance per-say, but is there because Poe and Rey are there.

She has to trust in the force, and trust in them too. She could show this by being over protective of Finn and Poe. 

His Master will finally show his face and it’ll turn out he’s possessed by an ancient pre-Banite Sith Lord but it’s voluntary. The self-taught darksider had wanted power and this Sith spirit offered it. The dark sider like the feeling of power he felt when possessed and agreed to be this Sith’s new vessel. It was through this body that the Sith ghost used his superior knowledge to ruin Luke’s New Jedi Order. Some seduction here. Some manipulation there and the order tears itself apart without Luke realizing what actually caused it since the Sith managed to block Luke’s foresight.

The Sith Ghost’s so attached to life, he’s holding onto his vessel like a black hole’s hold on matter past its event horizon. The Knights of Ren are so attached to their feelings of power they can’t consider another life and Kylo Ren is so attached to the myth of Darth Vader, he can’t see who he was anymore.  

It’d come down to a final fight and the few new jedi Rey and Finn managed to find would be pushed back at first but letting go and embracing the Force would help them start to push back the Knights and destabilize them enough for disables/knock outs until it was just Kylo Ren and his Master Darth Eterantus vs Finn and Rey. Rey goes head to head with Eternatus (yeah I know that’s a pokemon. I’m writing this off the cuff). Finn with Kylo Ren, one of his greatest fears.  Eternatus taunts Rey with knowledge of her past. How in another time and place she’d have been from a fine pedigreed force user family line but thanks to him, she’s a desert guttersnipe playing at being a jedi. 

Rey is a descendant of Obi-Wan Kenobi. This would be shown by visually cueing it with his force ghost flickering into existence at the Sith’s taunts. 

Kylo would reveal that Finn and he are kin. 

Finn’s a descendant of Leia and Han too. One of their kids married Lando’s kid. Han was not pleased to be in-laws with Lando at first. Finn’s father is a chip off the old Han Solo block with some Calrissian Swagger. Kylo had seen Finn’s face but had no idea why, but this prompted the Master to have the First Order take kid Finn--whose real name will be Jax Solo. Kylo’s name will have been Ben Solo like in the canon films. Kylo is ten years older than Finn. Kylo would try to use this family connection to manipulate Finn, but it won’t work. Finn could even quip about “not seeing any resemblance” between him and Kylo. 

Poe, he would fly again at a crucial moment to turn the tides for the B-plot of Resistance vs First Order. A last stand. 

Rey manages to break the hold the Sith ghost has on life.This kills his vessel too since without the ghost using the darkside the body turns to dust. Finn manages to defeat Kylo Ren and Poe helps the Resistance win. Kylo Ren is all but shattered by his defeat. He the proper inheritor of Darth Vader’s legacy! He’s forced to realize that maybe that’s not who he is. That maybe he’s always been simply Ben. Those who were still alive are taken prisoner with force null cuffs taken from their own belts and their conscripts freed to choose whether or not to learn about the force. It ends on a positive note with the new trio celebrating together with the Resistance. Finn’s parents arrive and he gets to reunite with them. Rey’s are nowhere to be found but she’s ok with that. Obi-Wan’s ghost reappears with a smile with other force ghosts and we end with Rey and the others happy.

Is this a good alternative? I don’t know. It’s just an alternative that doesn’t discard characters like they’re trash. It also tries to keep things more consistent. 

#disney star wars #long post #star wars

[sasskarian]

The Mostly-Complete Rise of Skywalker semi-liveblog and reaction list that literally no one asked for

I really dig the parallels between Exegol and Korriban. The way both places felt massive and cramped at the same time, all ominous and tomb-like. Both of them are desolate, devoid of all life. They both feel barren, but not just barren. Korriban feels like history crumbling beneath your fingertips. Exegol feels like a place that’s actively trying to wound you with its desolation, like it’s sucking the life out of you to try and renew itself. (Which, given that Palpatine is there and what he does later, yeah, that tracks.)

When Palps tells Kylo to kill Rey, you can see the micro expression in his eyes. The way the muscles in his face tighten up for a second, the brows drawing down in an expression of disdain and repulsion. If we could have seen his mouth, I’d lay money down on there being a sneer flash across his face for a moment. And damn if Adam isn’t a good actor for being able to portray something that subtle.

There were definitely a few moments where Chewie bitches at Poe for the stunts he’s pulling, including a very definitive accusation of “Rey would never do this to me or the Falcon,” or something along those lines. (This is when Poe snarls, “Yeah, well, Rey’s not here right now, is she?”)

Kylo reaching out into the Force. We’re supposed to think he’s trying to reach Anakin/Vader, but I don’t think that’s what happened at all. I think that he reached for Rey specifically, possibly as a self-soothing gesture. The need to feel her alive, reassure himself. And because of Rey’s feelings and connections to his own family, he’s clearly struggling with his more monstrous acts, and with seeing Luke and Han as intrusive thoughts.

Rey failing the training course because of him makes perfect sense. Notice that this is also when she gets angry.

The Kintsugi vibe given off by Ren’s helmet repairs are fascinating.

Given the way Pryde keeps focusing on Hux during the meeting, I feel like he suspects Hux.

I find it interesting that Finn seems to be the peacekeeper in the OT3. Poe is definitely a hothead, even though he’s matured since TFA and TLJ. And Rey snaps back at him, indignant that he’s snapping at her. And Finn is the one doing the “Guys, guYS, we don’t have TIME for this” routine.

I like the quiet horror of Rey recognizing Exegol’s name. Whether it’s Force shenanigans, or from reading Luke’s books, or from the vision, whatever. The recognition followed by horror is Good Fucking Acting.

I wish that there’d been a little more of Luke or Leia reassuring Rey that a name is just a name. That the legacy is what you make it. And that as the children of Anakin Skywalker, they know that better than anyone. I feel like that would have been a good tie-in and highlight for the way the surnames are treated in the movies. Ben shunning both Organa and Solo, Rey having a last name at last but one that carries the same kind of stigma and Dark past.

I… kind of wonder if Ren surrounded himself in atrocities as a means of self-punishment. We know it’s canon that he keeps being pulled to the Light, and that every time he does, he tries something Dark. Maybe it’s his way of reminding himself how far he’s fallen and that he can’t ever go back home again (which we know is bullshit, but hey, abuse fucks your brain up, and Snoke was abusive af). Like, again, I know it’s mostly just in the comics so far, but we see him a lot saying, “I never wanted this,” “I don’t want to do this.”

The Pasaana dance in the festival seems pretty clearly modeled after tribal dances, and that makes me wonder if powerful dances like the Dha Werda and the Ancestor Dance shown in the film send ripples through the Force. And what that might be like.

I… kind of like the idea of Ben and Kylo struggling for control? I need to finish reading TLJ and read TRoS when it comes out, but there are things Kylo does—the almost-gentle banter with Rey, the way he reaches out in TLJ when she’s on Ahch-To, warning her about Palps—that doesn’t make sense from a purely Kylo perspective. I mean, I’m also an angst gremlin who enjoys the idea of Kylo losing more ground to Ben Solo, and having serious identity clashes.

The bond between Rey and Kylo has grown exponentially. Each movie, it gets bigger and more powerful. In TFA, it allowed her to look into his head. And he wasn’t able to really bring himself to hurt her. In TLJ, it bridges impossible distances of space, even so far as transporting physical objects across the distance. And in TRoS, we see that it’s gotten so strong, it literally blocks out the rest of the physical world. You could argue that the darkness in the bond is what’s overshadowing it, but I don’t count it that way. Rey’s surroundings on Pasaana are slowed down and muted, as if only Ren is her focus.

The trio is so drift compatible, it hurts.

The way the trio grabs for each other, though. It was beautiful. Disney may have decided that Poe/Finn wasn’t a thing, which we all know is a damn lie, but this movie ships the OT3 so hard. The way Poe catches Rey as she falls, the way they both turn at almost the same time to look for Finn. The casual touching.

Childish though it was, I did enjoy the “mine’s bigger” joke with Rey’s lightsaber vs Poe’s flashlight.

Rey shows an affinity for Animal Empathy. Ren has used Stasis more than once. I could even argue that there’s been some subtle Battle Meditation going on throughout the series. And I kind of? Like that we’re seeing some of the more obscure and subtle Force powers.

Also? The snakey slow-blink? I love.

Rey seems to have some psychometry abilities. And I love it.

The way Rey says “I’ll be right behind you” isn’t what it sounds like. It has a lot of layers to it. (Just like Han’s “I know” in ESB) It’s declaration of intent (“I’ll handle this”), it’s a request (“Trust me”), and it’s consolation and reassurance (“I’ll be fine.”). The way all that is conveyed with five simple words is. Ugh. My heart.

As Finn gets stronger in the Force, I’m enjoying seeing his instincts kick in. He senses Ren’s approach, which is a nice completion of the parallel to TFA when Ren sensed him as the traitor.

I don’t know who’s read the Rise of Kylo comic, but the way she slices his ship to bring him down is a direct parallel to the shot he made when he escaped the destroyed Temple. (I love all the tie-ins, honestly)

Rey was doing okay with trying to pull the transport down until Kylo stepped in to push her. The most likely scenario is less “force lightning is genetic” (because that’s crap) but more that anger clouded her mind and she already had a direct Force ability going.

When I asked my roommate why she thought Rey couldn’t sense Chewie’s life force, she gave me an interesting theory. Well, a few, but one I think makes a lot of sense. The first was that Chewie was already off-world and thus too far away (later debunked by her sensing him as the Destroyer is in orbit). Or that maybe the transports were shielded against Force Abilities, but given that they’re so rare in this era, I don’t think that’s the case. I agree with my roomie in saying that it’s more likely that Rey burnt out part of her senses and basically put herself in shock due to the feedback of casting a powerful and traditionally dark side ability for the first time.

The first couple of times I watched the movie, the entire Threepio arc bothered me. Why didn’t they just plug him into the navicomputer, the way they’d done before? Why the angst build-up? Then I remembered that they left the Falcon on Pasaana, and it’s possible that L3 is more equipped to talk to Threepio’s forbidden memory banks than a post-TCW era ship that’s almost certainly out of date.

…Zorii and Poe have A Past. I’d put money on them having banged like screen doors in a hurricane at least a few times.

“Who are you hanging out with that spEAKS SITH?!?”

I? love? Babu?

“Does she do that to us?” had me in tears.

Oh my God, the sheer #aesthetic and foreshadowing of her duel with Ren. The red fruit (cherries?) spilling across the floor, the stark color against the too-bright white. The way Vader’s helmet thunks on the ground like a sour note in a song, the way the pedestal shatters with their combined strikes. Vader falling from Ren’s worship (as the truth is revealed that it was Snoke/Palps messing with his mind and he never heard Vader), the dark glass shattering the same way the darkness in Ren dies with him.

Finn is… kind of a gossipy biddy and I love it. The way Jannah hands him the part and he just flat out abandons the work to talk, the body language as he hoists himself up to sit on the ledge. I love it. He’s precious.

I wonder if the Death Star echoes in the Force. So many brutal deaths in those halls. So many restless ghosts.

…okay, I’m not sure how to feel about the dagger lining up with the fallen DS’s architecture. Because like. There’s so many layers to that? That suggests that Palps had the dagger created after Endor/RoTJ. Which suggests that he may have had the Wayfinders created then too (though it seemed pretty comfy in the Vault, so maybe he already had them?) (Also, there was one on Mustafar. Was it planted there? Did Vader know about Exegol? I need more information than this!) And like. The Death Star is sitting in a violent sea. It’s going to degrade eventually. What if the horizon line had changed? What then? It seems flimsy, for all that it was dramatic and cool.

The sheer aesthetic in this movie, though. The symbolism is everywhere. Like Rey taking the skimmer. I love the aesthetic choices of her struggling against these giant, furious waves as a fantastic visual analogy of her struggle against the emotions churning away inside her. And how Despair and Fear and even Anger threaten to overwhelm her and drown her, but she keeps holding tight to that little skimmer the same way she’s clinging to Luke’s teachings and Leia’s love and faith in her. Their belief in her.

“You don’t know what she’s fighting.” “And you do?” I wonder if, as a Force Adept, Finn can sense the bond between Rey and Ren, and that she’s struggling against it. As well as the Palpatine name.

Theory (that may or may not have been explored in the Legends EU): Any place steeped in enough Dark emotion can become a place of visions like the Mirror Cave and Dagobah’s Cave. Rey comes face to face with her worst fear on the Death Star.

Speaking of, I wonder if some small part of Rey enjoyed the vision of her and Kylo as Emperor and Empress. I wonder if that’s where the abject horror comes from.

Speaking of more aesthetic, the on-screen contrast and history of the window where Vader and Luke dueled, and the shot of Palps’ throne over Rey’s shoulder. Sorry not sorry but I’m going to be forever in love with the cinematography in this movie.

Ren seems… almost exasperated that she’s still drawing her saber on him. That has fic potential.

That. Entire. Fucking. Duel. That entire battle. Just… oof. OOF. My heart. It blew everything in me wide open. Looking with the eyes of a writer and SW expert instead of the wide-eyed “my hEaRt!” first reaction, I saw So Much. Like Rey and Ren trading battle stances. IDK if anyone else noticed, and it’s happened before (the throne room battle in TLJ, notably, but also their duel in Ren’s quarters). But here, it’s so clear. They gave and took from each other as they fought, and that broke my heart. It threw me back to KotOR II’s echani battles, and the fight between Sun and Mun in Sense8. Here, unlike TLJ, they weren’t fighting in tandem with each other. This was back and forth. Rey starts out saber up, in what looks like shii-cho. Kylo, like always, starts out in Ataru, with heavy, powerful strikes trying to bludgeon down her defense. Rey switches to an offensive, then to fast, agile strikes holding her lightsaber Ahsoka style. Kylo then switches to shii-cho, and Rey enters Ataru, with the aggressive offensive. The way they switched between each other was fantastic.

Near the end, Rey starts giving up. You can see it. Her movements get sluggish, like she’s just going through the motions. Like she’s so tired of fighting the bond in her head, her reluctant pull to him, like she’s just. So Fucking Tired. She’s resigned.

Kylo Ren dying by his own lightsaber while Ben’s mother called to him. That symbolism. That symbolism, though.

The way he looks around, like he’s in shock. The way the battle just stops, and he’s sitting there, dying. You can see the change in him, as Ben wakes up and Kylo dies. There’s so much shell-shock and disorientation, like someone who’s been asleep for too long, waking up confused. And I’d like to believe that Rey healing him poured not just healing but maybe a little Light into him, and that, along with Leia reaching for him, is what gave Ben the strength to rise over Kylo and overpower him. (See also, my love of internal power struggles)

“I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” Excuse you, I did not sign up for this feels trip.

Rey running away. I have… conflicted feelings on? Did she run away because she was grieving? To escape her own history? Did she run because she gave into the dark and struck down Kylo in anger? Or because she was tempted by Ben?

I know everyone says that Han was just a memory but I prefer to believe that Han’s just too stubborn to be a proper Force Ghost. And Disney and Lucasarts can pry Force Sensitive Han Solo out of my cold dead hands.

Luke, materializing out of the air and catching the saber. My heart screamed. Especially when he chided her (and himself) that a lightsaber deserves more respect.

“Leia didn’t tell me.” I think… I think Leia was trying to, without saying the words, “Rey, you’re a Palpatine.” She said, “Never be afraid of who you are.” And oh, God, that’s something Leia would know. In the EU she struggles with being Anakin’s daughter, with the legacy of Vader hanging over her. She struggles with it so much. And finally comes to terms with it. So if anyone knows what that’s like, it’s going to be her.

­­­"She sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path." So... she had nearly thirty years to plan for it. Yoda says, “Always in motion, the future is.” I don’t believe for a single instant that Leia Organa shrugged her shoulders and said “Welp, guess my kid’s gonna die.”

Luke KNEW Ben would go to Exegol. He knew and no one will ever convince me otherwise. “Take both sabers.” She’d need one for Ben.

I wonder if Lando looks at the Falcon and sees all the little pieces of Han.

So. The arrival order at Exegol threw me for a while. Rey gets there, in Red 5. Using the toasted Wayfinder. Then the Resistance arrives, following her trail. We see Ben arrive in a TIE fighter. But… how? Rey’s trail was given to the Resistance on what I can only imagine is an encrypted wave data burst. We know it was technically given to Lando, so that the people joining the battle could find them. But Ben’s in a TIE fighter. Did he get the message from Lando? Were the coordinates already programmed into the TIE via the Final Order? Did he memorize the path from before (given that he’s a stellar pilot like Han)? Did Rey give it to him?

I hate Palps being a one-trick pony in the movies. We see him in TCW having other abilities, and mad saber skills. But in the movies, his schtick is the same every time: He seduces people to the Dark and makes them feel like they don’t have a choice, usually by dangling, “Look, you can SAVE THEM” in front of everyone. And then once he has them, he keeps them by constantly belittling them and reminding them that there’s nowhere else for them to go, because they burnt all their bridges. (Ex: Vader being reminded of what he did to Padme, and Kylo being reminded via Snoke of his own actions)

WEDGE. WEDGE ANTILLES. WEDGE.

Rey felt Ben’s approach, and you can see the change in her body language.

THAT IS THE MOST HAN SOLO THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT’S NOT EVEN HAN SOLO. Watching the changes in Ben (vs Kylo) is so fucking great. He’s lighter, he’s faster. He skids (Han/Death Star), shoots behind him (Han/TFA), and the Solo Shrug. Ugh. Seeing Leia and Han blended in Ben with the Solo swagger, and Leia’s grace is fantastic.

Also: he looks so Soft. And so much younger.

I wonder if they’re communicating through the bond? He knows she can see him, because he nods at her to give him the saber. And unless I didn’t see correctly, she mouthed/whispered his name. And again, we see the connections between them in the fighting style. They’re still acting and reacting like extensions of each other.

The way they meet, the relief on their faces. Relief that melts into stubbornness and determination. Also, the way they take up their sabers in the same stance, the same expression. It’s delicious.

We were ROBBED of seeing the Jedi around Rey. ROBBED.

I’m STILL SALTY that they weren’t there for Ben (that we can see anyway).

Ben proceeded to completely shatter my heart. When he pulls Rey into his lap, he looks around like he’s waiting for someone to tell him what to do. He’s actively seeking guidance and help. And because we don’t have an in to Ben’s head, we don’t know if someone told him what to do or how to do it, or if anyone comforted him. But we do see his face go from disbelief to despair to acceptance.

The face touch. Stop breaking my damn heart.

When the Core ships arrive, I’m almost positive I saw The Razorcrest and the Ghost. I need to check the disc where I can pause it, but I’d put money on it that I saw them.

The way the trio grabs for each other at the end is more movie-shipping-OT3. Finn holding the two people he loves most in the world, right where he can see them. Poe taking Rey’s hand. They don’t know what happened in the Citadel, but I’m pretty sure Finn can feel how tired Rey is, how wounded she is. And they’re There For Her.

Rey burying the sabers on Tatooine has so many emotions attached to it. Tatooine, where Anakin Skywalker was born of the Force, where Luke spent his formative years. Luke and Leia resting together in the Force, as their student moves on and tries to find her way in the galaxy. And the parallels and tie ins from TFA to now, like Rey building a dual saber from parts of her quarterstaff, the sand sliding, and the OT callback to the protag being silhouetted by the twin suns, were satisfying.

Rey’s saber being yellow is something I find… interesting. If you look at the newer movies, whenever a blue or green saber crosses with a red one, the light sparks and blending of the plasma fields look yellow. And Kyber crystals (in the new canon) aren’t colored. They take on a color when the jedi awakes the force in them. So for her color to resonate yellow as someone balanced in light and dark makes a lot of sense.

I have… Opinions on the surname controversy that I’m still trying to sort through. And I definitely have Opinions on Ben sacrificing himself (mostly that the entire sequel trilogy spent two and a half movies harping on about balance only to kill off half the balance and leave a Force Wound in their protag)

***

Was Rise of Skywalker a good movie? Eh. That depends a lot on your criteria.

Was it a successful Star Wars movie? That also depends on your criteria.

But for me, it felt like Star Wars. It felt like an ending to the Skywalker saga. Did I get everything I wanted? No. Am I salty about parts of it? Absolutely. Are there plot holes I could drive a Death Star through? You betcha. Were we robbed of a better, more cohesive movie based on the leaks from JJ’s crew? YUP.

But I found things to enjoy. I got things I wanted (OT3! Force Sensitive Finn! Bendemption! Lando! Hope for the galaxy!), didn’t know I wanted (Master Leia! D-O the anxiety droid! Generals Finn and Poe!), and things I definitely didn’t want.

#star wars #Star Wars Spoilers #Rise of Skywalker #Rise of Skywalker Spoilers #TRoS Spoilers #Episode IX spoilers #Episode Nine Spoilers #Reylo #Rey/Ben #Rey #Ben Solo #I will Cut a Bitch over a Skywalker #Sher does Star Wars #long post #look I have a lot of feelings okay

[noneedforbloodpressure]

Hey so, with blacklisting now being a thing on mobile I’m gonna start posting about the Last Jedi, beginning with some of my thoughts. All spoilers under the cut.

While I enjoyed the move as a whole - it combined aspects of ESB and ROTJ while still being its own thing as well as provided a narrative about failure and hope - I’ve got some issues with it. Two of those are major - that being racist undertones (whether they were intentional or not, they were there) and characterization.

First off, there was a lot of unnecessary violence against characters of color. Finn and Rose getting forced to their knees and, in Finn’s case, slapped? Seriously? The kneeling I can understand because they’re supposed to be getting executed, though it’s still fucking uncomfortable because PoC being forced to kneel in front of Space N*zis (even if Finn did have a fucking badass fight against Phasma), but the fucking slap? Really????

Breaching racism and characterization, anyone else feel like Poe’s characterization not only didn’t quite fit with what we saw in TFA but was also wayyy too close to a Latinx stereotype? Like yes, Poe is confident, but he never came off as particularly cocky to me. If anything he came off as fiercely compassionate (See: Giving Finn a Name) but they went with cocky as the character trait. I get you were trying to dismantle the cocky pilot trope, but trope dismantling is never worth emboldening a stereotype that has derogatory effects on real people.

Also, I’m really, really uncomfortable with how Finn, Poe, and Rose’s arc and efforts amounted to nothing while Holdo saved the day. I’m not here for any sort of narrative about ~well meaning but oh-so-naive~ people of color and the ~wise white woman~ that is Right and Corrects them. I’m especially not here for that in star wars, given it’s track record with racism (it’s founded on anti-asian racism and has never treated black characters well) and the fact that all the female leads until Rose Tico have been white.

This time breaching sexism and characterization, I’m not really feeling Rey’s motivations to save Kylo. I appreciate the movie proving that Kylo is a dick no matter how many people are nice to him, but it just played a little too close to the “woman is forced to undergo grueling emotional labor to make a shitty man not shitty,” and I’m not here for those narratives either. Also, her caring about him came out of nowhere. Now, Rey wanting to redeem him so Han didn’t die in vain or for Leia or even for Luke, that I could see…(but more on that later).

And then of course, there’s Luke. Luke, my poor boy, they butchered your character. I can understand Luke being sad and bitter and angry and guilty, but the thought that Luke Skywalker, the man who looked at Darth Vader himself and saw something worth saving, would ever raise his saber against his nephew for something that might happen is preposterous. What the fuck.

On a smaller note, I feel like some things from Force Awakens weren’t really followed through to their potential. While I like the fact that Rey ISN’T a Skywalker, and under other circumstances would love her parents being nobodies, it just wasn’t a satisfying conclusion to the build-up it received. I feel similarly about Snoke. Also all those implications of Finn being Force Sensitive? Nowhere to be seen. I’m really mad about that (the racist implications…).

It was also kind of a waste to kill off Phasma, in my opinion, but I don’t really see how it could be avoided without sacrificing Finn’s development in the movie, and I’m not willing to do that, so…

And Now, I will take a hammer and FIX the canon.

Fundamentally all of these problems (sans the Phasma thing) are pretty easy to fix.

Start with the dreadnaught fight’s end - Poe is shaking as he comes out of his X-Wing. So many people died. All he’s ever wanted to do was save people, thought that’s what he would be doing by destroying that damn ship (they’d been too late to save the Hosnian system and the Republic fleet, wasn’t it his duty to make sure anything that could even cause a modicum of that destruction and death was obliterated from the galaxy?), and in his single-mindedness to do so, he ended up causing the exact opposite.

Poe Dameron, consumed by guilt, barely registers Leia demoting him (he technically deserved it for disobeying an order). She notices, of course, and tries to comfort him. He shrugs her off (he doesn’t think he deserves it).

Finn packs his bags and heads off to the escape pods, but when he gets there, he can’t do it. Didn’t he tell himself he was done running? Why the hell was he even considering this (hint: it’s the result of deep-seated trauma)?

The confrontation with Rose happens, but when Rose goes to taser him (only because it is part of her job), Finn grabs her wrist and stops her (sorry Rose, I love you dearly, but you’re a mechanic and Finn was a trained stormtrooper). “It’s not what it looks like,” he tells her. “I wanted to, sort of. I mean, the first order terrifies me - they’re tracking us through lightspeed! - but I can’t. I can’t abandon people who need me.”

And Rose Tico listens. And Rose Tico realizes how to stop the tracker.

They go to Poe, but Poe won’t help them. He won’t rat them out either, but “I didn’t listen to orders and look what happened.” (Trust me, I’m not writing Poe out of the action, I’m just trying to catalyze some development here too). Finn is the one who contacts Maz, Rose is the one who gets Lt. Connix on board, and she and Finn go off on their adventure. Finn doesn’t make all those downer comments that undermine his character (though Rose still gets to make her speech about her past because he asks her what’s wrong).

Rey convinces Luke train her - “just three lessons!” - and wheedles the story out of him. Luke, grief-stricken, tells her the story of how he’d believed there was good in Ben and waited too long. He tells her how he went to talk to him one night and stood over Ben’s bed trying to find the words. He tells her how he’d been idly running his hand over the hilt of his lightsaber - it’s a nervous habit. The saber helped him feel connected to his old mentor (who for all his flaws Luke respected greatly);  Luke had designed this lightsaber after Ben Kenobi’s after all - and when Ben woke up he’d mistaken it as Luke going to attack him.

Rey from Nowhere thinks back to the resistance, to all they’ve done for her, to their compassion, to Finn and Han and Chewie and Leia, and refuses to let Luke Skywalker give up on goodness and on love. She refuses to let Han Solo have died in vain. She refuses to let Leia Organa suffer any more loss. She is going to drag Ben Solo’s ass back to the light even if it kills him. There’s gotta be good somewhere inside him with family like that, right?

Back on the ship, Poe is growing restless. Eventually his worry overpowers his guilt and he confronts Holdo. “Rose and Finn were right, we can’t just do nothing!” And she grins and winks at him, says: “Actually, I’ve got a plan. I’ve been wondering when you’d ask,” and fills him in.

Finn and Rose still get caught on the first order’s ship, but things happen a little differently. As the first order moves to arrest them, Finn and Rose swap glances and both lunge at the last minute. Finn takes out the guard sent to arrest him via some impressive hand-to-hand, and Rose tasers the guard sent to arrest her. When Phasma aims to shoot, Finn reaches out and instinctively pulls her blaster to him. He’s confused as all fuck, but hey, he’s not about to question the Force if it wants to help him.

Cue shootout and cue Finn wrecking Phasma while Rose gets to work on that tracker. “We’ve done it; we’ve disabled the tracker.” they call back to the Rebel ship when the chaos dies. Unfortunately, the ship is now too low on fuel to make the jump to hyperspace. The rebels will still have to go to Crait. That said, it’s still a victory, because Rose Tico is no fool and corrupted their software and blueprint files too.

Rey’s fight with Snoke and then with Kylo happens a la canon, but she cuts Kylo’s arm off, because we haven’t had a good Star-Wars-style de-limbing in three movies. 

The first order still fires on the rebel pods, though they hit fewer of them simply because the traitor-codebreaker doesn’t get to tell them until far later (after he’s caught running away from Finn and Rose beating up Phasma and co). Holdo still makes her heroic sacrifice, but this time she’s not the only one who’s carried the day.

The rest of the movie carries on a la canon. Maybe Luke doesn’t die though…I’m not about to object to that.

TD;LR Star wars still has a racism problem and the characterization in this movie was wonky as all hell in part because of that. I bitch about that and then try my hand at a mildly canon-divergent fix it of said racism and poor characterization. Thanks for your time.

#also what are the knights of ren????? seriously????????? #star wars #tlj #tlj spoilers #racism tw #antiblackness tw #anti asian racism #anti latinx racism

[claramakesthings]

IN NATURE;

BEAUTIFUL girls don’t cry. this is the first piece of advice she’s given. eight years old and her white clothes are tattered and her elbows are covered in dirt and blood. the blood’s her own, the dirts not. but her blood feels like it might as well be dirt. it’s been the worst day of her life. the first time she learns that GRACEFUL, PLAYFUL little girls don’t always get a happily ever after. in fact, they never do. if you want your happily ever after you have to FIGHT for it. this day her hair is wound up into two small buns. space buns. and hot tears fall down her face like how her blood trickles down her elbow. she doesn’t have a mom back then, there are no moms to wipe her tears and to teach her how to be STRONG, how to be a real girl. but her dads can try their best. they wipe her tears, and teach her how to wipe her own. they mend her dress, and teach her how to fix it herself. and they show her how to get back up and punch back. she learns how to fight like no one else can. this is where she learns to be a WARRIOR and how to bow to no one, especially those who do not deserve it.

she continues to grow of course. but unlike the other little girls, she can’t let go of those fairytales from before. just because she can fight, doesn’t mean she wants to. she would like to stay the PRINCESS in the castle. but this world’s not going to let you hold onto your dreams like that. a child can’t cling to the past, they’ve got to look to the future. but she’s always been CLINGY, so instead she finds new ways to stay that princess. as a child, who wants to stay a princess. so sure, she may be sixteen. but why can’t she continue to be a princess? hm? so it’s at sixteen that she learns to fight in a whole new way. instead of playing their games, she’ll just change the game. the games of pretend with a space mom become a MANIPULATED reality she makes for herself. of course she knows they’re LIES, and that she’s not a damsel in distress waiting for any old luke skywalker to come along and pull out a lightsaber. she’s got a blaster after all.

she gets older, and this is how she begins to hear the names they call her behind her back. a VAIN, PETTY girl is what they say. because her face is covered in makeup, and her smiles never seem quite REAL. there are whispers behind her back. ICARUS they call her. flying too close to the sun for her own good. does she really think she’ll ever be more than she is now? NARCISSIST, they tack on, she’s gonna die from her vanity and PRIDE. they claim her belief that she is better than what she is will kill her. that one day, they’ll find her body, broken and bleeding. and she laughs in their faces. she knows she’s no better than then. she’s EGOTISTICAL and all too FAKE. but as heather chandler said… “You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly." so every morning she spends her time in front of the vanity, with that red shade of lipstick that’s no longer around. and everyday, she puts herself together like a puzzle. her shoes are one piece and her lipstick is another. everything about her is so carefully PUT-TOGETHER, all to fuck with others minds, and to only allow them the glimpse of who she is. she’s handed out her puzzle pieces onto the ground, to let others run after her and try to assemble who she is from them. all while making sure that what they never realise, is that they’re looking on the wrong side of the puzzle. everything about her is a beautiful, PURPOSEFUL facade. not meant to let you know anything she doesn’t want you to. but to let you think you know everything.

of course with her beautiful lie, comes people who can see through it at first. as time goes it becomes tighter and tighter, but before then, before it’s a facade with holes. not many, and not very big, but enough that a clever person can peak through. they call her a LIAR back then, because half the words that fall out of her lips are lies. of course, they’re not always. not really. they’re just her MACHINATIONS and MANIPULATIONS. and perhaps she’s not all she claims to be back then. standing in the halls of a private school which breaks her dads backs to put her into. but they should know better. she’s not all that she claims to be, sure, but can’t they tell? she’s just claiming her future before the world decides her future for herself. she might be a DECEIVER and a LIAR, a person who twists reality to be however she wants. but there are worse things she could be than a girl who plays with the world like some play with barbies. maybe she’s fake. but in some ways? she’s the most HONEST person in the world. she may make her personalities off of lies but at least she doesn’t lie about her lies. she hates those who pretend that they aren’t lying. then they lie to themselves in the same sort of way they lie to others. in her mind there’s nothing worse. in so many ways she’s a PARADOX, a contradiction unto itself. DISHONEST and yet HONEST, at the very same time. she’s just the girl with the SACCHARINE SWEET SMILE, covered in the colour red.

her lies are their own form of AMBITION though. she wants to be that princess she was as a child, but not the pretend sort, a real sort. the lies have alway served a purpose in her own mind. a way for her to aim for the stars. perhaps, yes she has to twist a couple of arms to get there. break a couple of toes. but it’s worth it in the end…. right? she’ll aim to become to the princess, because one day princesses become QUEENS. in the end though, she knows that she deserves this. her FIXATION and singular focus on being something better. she knows that she deserves better than the lot she’s been given in life. she, in her manner of speaking, is iridescent, a queen in her very own right. in a manner of speaking, she might just be an ADDICT, well… in some ways that are more than just a manner of speaking, her want for power is almost outweigh by her adoration for red wine, and a cigarette on the balcony of her house. a bad habit picked up to ease the nerves of an overly ambitious girl. these two addictions are approached with the continuously commonplace drive that she uses to approach everything in life. after all, those with PASSION will always triumph over those who believe that they can sit back and claim their throne just because of their blood right. they are foolish. a thing she’s not. because it takes a special sort of ignorant fool to presume that there aren’t those who deserve, who will fight for it, more than they ever will. strong ARROGANCE on her part says that she believes that she can fight better than them. but in a way, it’s not just arrogance, it’s truthfulness. children who grow up with nothing are always better FIGHTERS than those who are born with everything. that, to her, is just the truth of how the world works. it’s because of these ADDICTIVE PASSIONS to the golden world that those at pax aurea have, that people call her FANATICAL, like she’s some sort of obsessive fangirl that would beg for even a scrap. they’re right of course. about the obsessive fangirl bit. she’ll do whatever she can to get her foot in the door. she won’t beg though. she’s not pathetic. or at least she prizes her dignity more than that. she likes to call herself ASPIRING however. she’s just aiming for something better. something that glitters and shines in the light. she’s not above HARD WORK, but she’s also not above pushing people out of the way. that’s how things work after all. or at least in her very own mind that’s how they work. she will dirty her hands with whatever the fuck it takes to make it to the top. she’s DETERMINED in the way. the same way she got into this college. the same way she got into to a private high school. the same way she’s done so fucking much. shear determination, and an ability to push people to the right and to the left and out of her goddamned way. in these ways she also calls herself BRAVE, going where she was told she could never go. touching and seeing what she was never supposed to touch and see. in her story, she’s no hero, but she sure as hell, ain’t a villain, she’s something much more complex and something much more beautiful. but she’s ultimately good in her mind. ultimately beautiful and glorious and HOLY like a goddamned fucking god.

her godliness isn’t a christian sort of god though. more hera when you think about it. beautiful, perfection, immortal, and untouchable as fuck. her childhood, beautiful, peculiar, and horrific in some manners, are what sketch the patterns onto her soul that guide her to here and today. there are somethings, no matter how hard parents try to be the best they can, that just can’t be avoided. and her childhood is littered with examples. perhaps though, the BROKEN, tattooed soul, begins before that. perhaps it begins with her mother and abandonment on a street corner which no one sees. at the end of the day, her soul is BLACK and GOLD. the perfect combination of death and divinity that defines her. she’s the sort of broken that doesn’t hurt, that doesn’t leave her crying in the corner, but instead leads to lies that slip out easier than her tongue when she’s frustrated with her math. she’s a TOUGH girl in many unseeable ways, because while she’s been working to look a fragile as glass, no one’s come to realise that she’s as hard as rock. she’s a diamond girl in that manner of speaking. HARD as hell, but looking so fragile you think that touching it might break it. it’s another paradox about her. there are tons if one looks for a little bit too long, a little bit too hard, and tilts their head just the right way. but no one’s noticed yet. in the end, all her machinations lead to a sort of DISTRUSTFUL girl. liars always think other people are always lying after all, and emily is no exception to that. she’s CLOSED OFF and has the highest walls out of anyone you’ve ever met. to some extent it’s because she doesn’t know how to be anything else. after all, just because your world is rose coloured, doesn’t mean your blind, and she certainly isn’t.

in the end, it’s her CALLOUSNESS that prevents her from truly having friends. sure…. she has tons. but she doesn’t know if they’re friends in the way that people mean for them to be. look at her one wrong way, and you might just get a knife in the back. she’s always been that sort of girl after all, harsh words, harsher stares. she rules with an iron first because she fears that no one will listen any other way. she’s a queen without a king. she doesn’t need one anyways. an INDEPENDENT ruler, and there’s only room for one ruler on the throne of the glittering pax auera. other people, while perhaps they make good friend, pets and toys, are needed when it comes to ruling. she can do that herself. she’s never needed someone to do that for her, because she learnt very early on. that if you don’t rule yourself, then someone will take the throne from you. so this is why she rarely relies on others except for her select few. her precious generals in the queen’s army. it’s because of this that she is, in her own mind, UNEMPHATIC, beauty is good, perfection is better, but empathy, to care for another is weak. and you cannot let weakness show when you’re trying to win a war. and to her, life is a war, so here she is, trying to cut her ties, and aiming to be a queen who doesn’t rely on other people and doesn’t feel for other people. of course though, this is a recipe for disaster, but don’t tell her that. she knows that at any moment she might just SELF-DESTRUCT, but fuck that noise. she’ll hold it together until the end.

People like to call her a PETTY BITCH some days, because of her willingness to push and shove and brawl in her court. it’s like the night court from a court of thorns and roses, and she’s like rhysand. they’re all a bunch of lords and ladies who were born with the world in their hands, and she’s a half breed that will murder her way to the top. except there’s a problem with that, of course. at home’s she’s a SOFT child, a SCARED one too. who will give the world to the first beauty to show her kindness. because in this story, her story, you know how we said she’s not the hero but she’s not the villain? that’s because she’s the BEAST. and to so many they thing her the BEAUTY, pretty and perfect and precious. a lovely little doll her to save the day. but she’s never been very good at being belle. or being feyre. or being whoever the BEAUTY is today. in a way she does suppose it’s true. she’s a pretty girl, a pretty thing, who one day will have it all. or so she plans. but that’s never the full story. some days, though, the crowds see her as the VENGEFUL WITCH, the mara or the sorceress. a lady who cursed you all to hell, who would curse you all to hell, because she’s that sort of woman. and while it’s not true, she’s not that cruel, in so many ways she is, she’s pretty and cruel and MEAN AS HELL, and she’s ready to curse you all to save herself. at the end of the day, she thinks she just might be some sort of beauty-beast though. VICIOUS and PERFECT on the outside. a smiling good person, but something there to tell you that she would tear your throat out, and on the inside? someone more dangerous than that. because she won’t tear your throat out. she’ll toss you to the beasts if that’s where she thinks you belong.

there are parts, perhaps, that just might be good. even if most of them are lies. parts of her, some of her, has to be GOOD, and untouched by her BROKENNESS. and perhaps that goodness isn’t inside her, perhaps it’s the facade she puts on like foundation. it’s not her, perhaps it was her a long long time ago, but that was so long ago that she’s forgotten now. but the facade, her facade, is something that says that this is what she strives to be. it’s a dream, one she might not ever be able to reach. but the KIND goddess that she pretends to be, the good girl, and the leader the leads by being the best at being the best person she can, is who she wants to be at the end of the day. she knows she’s a SARCASTIC bitch, but a girl can dream to be better. she wants to be better. she wants to be the one who leads them to victory. to be an aphrodite, not a hera. she wants, so badly, to see the world through the rose coloured glasses she pretends affect her. she wants to be pretty, and king and aspire to bring hope into the world like so many can. but she’s still not a belle, she’s still not a cosette. she’s a fucking natasha rostava. a cheater. a betrayer. a less than perfect perfection that tries top hard to be good. she’s trying to be LOYAL but at any moment she might slip and fall and betray all that she’s been working to her entire life. she knows that failure is a possibility. one she hates. she’ll aim to be loyal until the end of her days after all. she’ll die for these people, or so she tells herself. she won’t be natasha. she can’t be natasha. she may be a FLIRT she may be run over by PASSION trampled by her wants, but she will keep to her people for as long as she lives. she will be as ARROGANT as she wants, be a HEADSTRONG fucker. but she will not be natasha rostava. she will not fall to her whims, because something pretty comes along. unlike natasha, her first love, her first want, and the thing that’s gotten her this far, will lead her the rest of the way. she’s sure of it. she has to be.

but she’s also SCARED. too scared. so scared. she’s just a SCARED girl with a SOFT heart. it beats and gives her a headache, and she only really just wants to sleep. she’s still that little girl playing princess. but now she’s a little girl, playing adult, playing princess, and the lies, the truths, and her head, are beginning to get too tangled up. she’s selfish, but COMPASSIONATE in the way she’d give a little girl like her the world. wrapped up in pink paper and tied up with a golden bow. children deserve the world like that. they deserve it given to them, in her mind, not in a hole in the ground where you have to fall like alice in wonderland to ever reach it. she’s far from HUMBLE, and yet you never hear her boast about the glory that she’s achieved, and one day will achieve. but the humbleness doesn’t come from a place of good will in her case. she likes to laugh about it whenever people call her humble. she’s not humble, she just doesn't want to show her cards. but she’s still good, she believes she can still be good. a veronica sawyer in the making maybe. BRILLIANT and never afraid to be anything less than that. her brilliance, is what will get her through this. it’s what’s gotten her through this, and in some ways created this. an ADVENTUROUS child who always loved the taste of the wind on her lips and the feeling of a new story coming on, and the sensation of imagination taking over her legs until she leaps off a cliff and into the sky. she’s REBELLIOUS in the best and worst of ways, never having liked authority to begin with, so instead she became the authority. a child who figured if she could recode the world, that maybe she could become the princess she wanted to be, and maybe other children like her could too. at the end of the day, though, she’s just confused. she feels like something LESS so that’s, perhaps, that’s why she’s always trying to be MORE.

#story