#also before someone comes at me for talking bad about deans alcoholism i literally abuse alcohol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

destielhasmedead · 3 years

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This is a post about Dean having undiagnosed ADHD by a person who has diagnosed ADHD. Therefore, I’m not a doctor and not an expert, but I know how I react and see many of those qualities in Dean.

Typical things that go along with ADHD are:

Hyperactivity

Hyperfocusing

Stimming

Hyperfixations

Impulsivity

Emotional dysregulation

Black or white thinking

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Trouble maintaining friendships/relationships

Substance abuse

Risky behaviors in general and sexual

*some of these also go along with other neurodivergencies- Ex. Stimming and Hyperfixations. This post is about his ADHD and not another disorder. And not all are needed to have ADHD Ex. I tend to not struggle with substance abuse.*

I’ll just go down the list:

So hyperactivity

This can be seen through fidgeting, restlessness, being talkative, and the inability to sit still.

In this example, it takes Dean quite literally 20 seconds before he gets bored and moves his attention, https://youtu.be/o1eL-3BJihg?t=20 (watch up to 40 seconds)

The clip below shows Sam typing and Dean having to sit in a chair and wait. Dean starts making noises and in less than a minute he is up and leaving to go somewhere else.

https://youtu.be/zvy_IKIHH5k

This might also be an example of stimming.

The definition off google is: “behavior consisting of repetitive actions or movements of a type that may be displayed by people with developmental disorders”

In the video, it is known as a vocal stim.

When Dean gets excited he is also known to stim - at the time I stamped in the link below, you can see his hands wave/tap at the railing. People with ADHD feel emotions more strongly than others do. This is why he may seem happier than usual when he gets pie (when it’s something he has regularly), or in this case, celebrate a holiday.

https://youtu.be/b82JDE0d6C0?t=29

Many of these can go together, such as you may stim when hyperactive, or stim because you feel strong emotions. So, with that in mind, I’m going to bring up emotional dysregulation.

Same as feeling extreme happiness, he also gets angrier over things that could be managed differently.

I hate to do it to you, but I have to bring up the prayer scene.

https://youtu.be/tcNVxm8HAXM?t=89

Specifically, the part where he talks about controlling it. Here is a part from the transcript if you don’t want to watch

“I – Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know – I know that it's – i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just – it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how – [Sniffles] how bad I want to, I just can't stop it.”

He is struggling to manage it. It’s an impulse.

And that’s what I’ll talk about next.

Dean is known to get mad, but there are other forms of impulses. Such as his tendency to make rash decisions and just go out on hunts without backup, or make a deal for Sam without thinking through the consequences, or through any part of it really. Also, besides his life, his relationships are also put in jeopardy.

He unnecessarily risks his life when if he waited for Sam or Cas he would be okay.

Risk-taking occurs because of the dopamine deficiency in ADHD minds. For him, these risks often are seen through him making deals for others at the expense of himself.

Part of this risk-taking revolves around sex

He seeks the dopamine high that comes out (sorry no pun intended but) of these situations. Dean has only had a few more long-term sexual relationships, but even those ended fairly quickly. He is prone to one night stands.

Okay, I’m going to switch gears to hyperfocusing and hyperfixations

The difference is the state.

Hyperfocus: This is a highly focused attention that lasts a period of time, but then ultimately goes away. Dean is typically in this state when working on Baby or when they are going after something. Or, how he spent hours building the Malak box.

https://youtu.be/YAkIQb7Xtzo (peep the gay moment)

This is also a state in which someone with an ADHD mind is able to be less distracted and stay on that task.

Hyperfixation: Is being immersed or obsessed with one subject or activity.

So, I can hyperfocus on a hyperfixation.

Some of Dean’s fixations are cowboys and old westers, cars, cult horror movies, and cartoons.

This can be seen in Scoobynatural when Dean knew exactly what was supposed to happen in the episode and things about the characters Sam, who also watched the show hadn’t known.

https://youtu.be/yWRZsq8nQT8?t=221

As well as the numerous times Dean has information on cowboys- one example:

https://youtu.be/nIsxiYkoBKk

Substance Abuse: It’s no secret Dean struggles with alcoholism. ADHD is 5 to 10 times more common among adult alcoholics. I don’t have much to say on this subject, since it’s very obvious he has issues with it. And again, these issues are more relevant for people with ADHD because of the impulsivity, and behavior problems that may occur.

RSD or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: The definition is “a condition in which a person feels extreme emotional sensitivity and pain due to perceived or actual rejection, teasing or criticism”.

Say what you will, but Dean is a very emotional person. Typically, he shows his pain or sadness through anger or alcoholism. Any time Sam does something small, he takes it personally. He gets mad at Cas and feels betrayed for seemingly small mistakes, that for him feel huge.

RSD also contributes to his difficulty maintaining friendships and relationships: He pushes people away when things get hard and before they can get too close to him.

This is shown when he erases Lisa and Ben’s memories. https://youtu.be/rTBCWT9c9lo?t=159

As soon as things might get hard he leaves before they can get mad or reject him.

Black or white thinking: Or, also known as all or nothing thinking, means that an individual thinks in extremes. Your mind doesn’t recognize the shades of grey. It wasn’t really until season 6 or 7 when Dean started to sometimes accept the grey area. But, that was a hard lesson to try and learn.

He saw good and evil - monster and human. Meeting Benny, and later the good that came from Rowena and Crowley helped.

Even with Jack though, even though he hadn’t met the kid, he saw only one half of him. He deemed him to be bad, cause in his mind he can’t see the grey part, which in this case is “he’s half-angel, half-human. But, that doesn’t define his character”.

Overall, in my opinion, this is enough to convince me Dean has ADHD, but, now you can decide for yourself. :)

*these are only some examples - there are more I did not include because this has already taken me 2 weeks to finish*

#i spent 20 minutes highlighting the words in colors #so thanks tumblr for deleting it #anyway enjoy #supernatural #dean winchester #adhd #adhd dean #jensen ackles #spn headcanon

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yjsangjun-blog · 5 years

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𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖌 — 𝖇𝖆𝖊𝖐 ‘𝖘𝖆𝖒’ 𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖏𝖚𝖓.

hi hello. i’m cait, i’m 25, i go by she/her pronouns and i live in cst! i am a hot mess who loves causing her characters pain & angst…. i also love ruining their lives on a daily basis.

this is my babe sangjun who’s a lil bit messy ( much like most of my characters ) and you can find basic stats / bullet point bio / basic personality info / basic plot ideas & stuff like that for him under the cut! if you want more in depth info message me bc honestly this intro post is … oof !!! it’s also kinda long so lemme apologize for that as well !!!

but i am super excited to be here and i can’t wait to plot with ya’ll & love your babies !!!! if you’d like to plot, please feel free to IM me on here, ask for my discord or like this post & i’ll come to you !!!

tw: mentions of alcohol / alcoholism, drugs / drug abuse, bullying & violence.

BASIC INFO ( PT 1. )

FACECLAIM: min yoongi + suga + rapper. CHARACTER NAME: baek 'sam' sangjun. PRONOUNS: he/him. GENDER: cismale. AGE/BIRTHDAY: twenty-six. + june eleventh. ZODIAC SIGN: gemini. ROOM: haean + 2e.

OTHER INFO

POSITIVE TRAITS: determined, hard-working, charismatic & adventurous. NEGATIVE TRAITS: hedonistic, short-tempered, impulsive & blunt. OCCUPATION: bouncer at club arena / underground fighter. ( future ceo ) SONG THAT DESCRIBES THEM: i'm not sorry - dean. HOW LONG HAVE THEY LIVED AT THE YUJAEN?: six years. FOUR MUSE AESTHETICS: leather jackets, bruised knuckles, blurry evenings, late night snack runs.

BASIC INFO ( PT 2. )

full name: baek sangjun. nickname(s): sam, san, jun. hometown: seoul, south korea current location: yongsa, south korea. ethnicity: korean. nationality: korean. gender: cismale. pronouns: he/him/his. orientation: pansexual. occupation: bouncer / underground fighter. language(s) spoken: korean, english, japanese, spanish, french, chinese.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

face claim: min yoongi. ( suga ) of bts. hair color: frequently changes, currently platinum blonde. eye color: brown with a small hazel ring. height: 5'10". weight: 169. build: athletic. tattoos: he’s got a few stick-n-poke tattoos scattered across his body, though most aren’t visible when he’s wearing clothing. piercings: these, double helix in left ear & tongue.

HEALTH.

physical ailments: alcoholism, allergies, drug abuse, lactose intolerance. neurological conditions: back pain / muscle spasms, carpal tunnel. allergies: shellfish, pollen, mold. sleeping habits: all over the place, usually tosses & turns for a while before falling asleep. rarely gets more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night. eating habits: horrible, relies on fast-food & take-out most of the time. loves 'comfort foods’. exercise habits: goes to the gym at least three times a week, less if he’s been in back-to-back fights. body temperature: hotnatured. addictions: alcohol, tobacco, cannabis, gambling, sex. drug use: frequent. alcohol use: frequent.

PERSONALITY. ( PT 1. )

label: the cataclysmic. positive traits: determined, hard-working, charismatic & adventurous. negative traits: hedonistic, short-tempered, impulsive & blunt. fears: heights, flying, confined spaces, drowning, commitment. hobbies: arcade games, astronomy, billiards, board games, boxing, card games, comic books, cooking, motorcycles, poker, reading, video games, weight training, yoga. habits / quirks: believes in demonic possession, believes in ghosts & spirits, believes in karma, carries a 'lucky’ item with him everywhere, fights for animal rights, fights for gender equality, fights for human rights, fights for the legalization of cannabis, fights for marriage equality, meditates, always has change in his pockets, owns an outrageous amount of shoes, counts stairs, experiences episodes of depression, boxes, collects packs of playing cards, doodles on everything, gardens, loves board games, paints, plays with fire, plays poker, plays video games, randomly wanders around when bored, sings well.

FAVORITES.

season: fall. color(s): army green, black, red, gray. music: all genres, doesn’t care for country. movies: action, comedy, horror, suspense. sport(s): hockey, basketball, baseball. beverage(s): whiskey, soda. food: comfort foods. animal: dogs.

FAMILY.

father: baek jaejin, sixty, ceo. mother: baek chansook, fifty-four, ceo. sibling(s): younger sibling, nineteen. children: n/a. pet(s): a siamese cat named ramen ( back at home with his parents ), a bengal cat named shiva ( back at home with his parents ) & a seven month old austrailan sheppard puppy named indy ( lives with his sibling. ) family’s financial status: upper class.

EXTRAS.

mbti: entp-a. ( the debater ) enneagram: type 8. ( the challenger ) temperament: choleric. hogwarts house: slytherin. moral alignment: chaotic neutral. primary vice: wrath. primary virtue: diligence. element: fire.

BIOGRAPHY.

born in seoul, south korea.

parents were very well known ceos, both running very successful corporations.

and of course, they wanted sangjun to follow in their footsteps.

parents were pretty strict and didn’t really allow him to do well.. anything.

however, they did buy him whatever he wanted and spoiled him in that way.

and due to both of those things combined, he started to rebel at a really young age. ( i’m talking like 10 )

so he’d sneak out, graffiti people’s houses and break things and the likes.

never got caught for it, though, knowing that if he did his parents would have kicked him out and probably disowned him for his behavior.

but one of the reasons he never got caught being a rebel was the fact he was bringing straight a’s in school, was always the very top of his class and from his parent’s perspective? he was a model child.

however, he hated that, hated having to live under his parent’s shadows and be this cookie-cutter version of himself they wanted him so desperately to be.

but he played it off, juggling the 'angel’ side of him with the rebellious tendencies that continued to grow worse and worse with each passing year.

god, high school was so different, though. he’d rebel more and more every single day, pushing the limits of getting caught.

however, word got out pretty quickly about just how wealthy his family was and kids started to bully sangjun for it, causing his anger to get the better of him until he lashed out so bad it landed one of those bullies in the hospital for copious amounts of injuries.

of course, his parents were pissed. grounded him for a solid month and in that time, he learned each and every way he could sneak out of his house at night, wandering the streets of seoul at all hours.

one of those nights he happened to run into a group of people who also went to his school, but instead of them bullying him for whatever reason, they commended him on standing up for himself like he had & told him there was a way to let out the pent up aggression that ended up sending a kid to the hospital.

his curiosity was lit up that night, eager to figure out what the hell they were talking about and a few days later, he was introduced to a scene that’d become far more intoxicating that anything he’d ever experienced before.

underground fighting. no rules, no shadows he had to live under, tons of money for each win under his belt? it was the life he never knew he wanted, but the second he got a taste of it, he wanted more.

so those late night strolls turned into him sneaking out of the house only to meet up with his new group of friends, all of which were clad in full black outfits .. traveling to some random person’s basement ( or abandoned buildings of numerous kinds ) only for sangjun to be able to release every single bit of pent up aggression he carried out on some stranger who’d never remember his name.

his parents? they were just as clueless as before, though, sam continuing to excel in school as well as his fights so much so that he found the perfect balance.. learned how to hide the scrapes and bruises from his mother & father all while continuing to be the top of his class.

not to mention he was juggling all of that and his acting career all at once, trying to hide certain things from his parents and the rest of the world because he knew it’d ruin his reputation.

however, due to the amount of stress that sat upon sam’s shoulders on a daily basis, he let himself slip up on his 21st birthday, parents stumbling into his apartment only to catch him drunk & high with a bunch of strangers surrounding him.

it was a moment he’d been scared of his whole life, worried his parents would just disown him right then and there...

but in all honesty? it was the most freeing night of sam’s life.

he didn’t have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t anymore, didn’t have to pretend to be a pure and innocent little thing who never did anything wrong. didn’t have to live up to the high expectations he’d set for himself so many years ago and god, he was hooked.

his parents not disowning him and continuing to pay for everything he wanted only fueling him to continue the downward spiral, living his life to the fullest, doing whatever the hell he wanted to... whenever the hell he wanted to.

PERSONALITY. ( PT 2. )

hides behind a wall of sarcasm, cockiness, anger and lust.

doesn’t really care to get to know people and had a tendency to push people away before they get too close to him. ( though it’s all a ruse. )

wears glasses to read and mess w computers, but hates them a lot and probably won’t wear them if people are around.

has two different wardrobes, one for when he’s around his parents. that consists of suits & dressy attire. and then one for when he isn’t that consists of ripped jeans, t-shirts, sweats & everything in between.

is …. stubborn as hell and refuses to ask for help with anything.

his motorcycle is literally his baby ??? like he ?? has a problem ??

fluent in a lot of languages, picked them up so that he didn’t need translators at his parents meetings and the likes.

lowkey worried that people will figure out that he’s actually v scared & stressed on the inside because that’ll cause him to start having to deal with his feelings, and he doesn’t wanna do that.

is the biggest flirt you will ever meet?? like if he’s speaking to you… its usually flirty as hell unless it has to do w business ( both his parents & his fights ) or he’s just known you for centuries ?

will try to get everyone to go to bars n parties with him because that’s his life in a nutshell ??

drinks..heavily.. like every night?? it’s a problem tbh.

nerd on the inside though like owns so many comic books, loves to play video games, read books, plays piano.. loves to sketch, paint & the likes.

he cares… god he cares so much about people and the world but he pretends to hate everything because it’s easier than letting people in.

full of horrible and cheesy pick up lines and jokes and frequently texts people said pick up lines and jokes.

owns a book that is full of nothing but blank pages and keeps it on his coffee table because he ‘relates’ to it.

is a highkey hoe but he tries to keep it on the dl ( he fails… miserably. )

super into fitness as it’s a way to keep him away from drinking every evening. ( that doesn’t work for him tho, oof.. )

also has bruised knuckles 24/7 & some other injuries he gets from his fights, plays it off like he’s just clumsy.

anger issues af. needs to get them in check.

actually super kind and caring once you’re able to see get past his wall?? which is really hard tbh but if you’re able to? he’s so loyal and caring it’s unreal.

has a bad habit of smoking whenever he’s stressed out, which is usually all of the time so he smokes…. more than he should ( though he won’t admit to being stressed out,,,,, ever in his life. )

highkey into cuddling and all the cute shit like that but would literally never tell a soul because then they’d see that he isn’t the ‘hardass’ he pretends to be on a daily basis.

is a burnt cupcake who has 'decent’ intentions but has extremely horrible execution skills.

PLOT IDEAS.

bad influence. ( on your muse. )

best friends.

childhood friend.

competition.

confidant.

cousin.

current hook up(s).

drinking buddies.

drunken hook up.

enemies that used to be friends.

enemies.

exes who ended on bad terms.

flirtationship.

frenemies.

friendly competition.

friends that used to be enemies.

friends with benefits.

good influence. ( on sangjun. )

hate sex.

one night stand(s). ( past & present. )

partner in crime.

party buddies.

past hook up(s).

ride or die.

social media friends.

trouble makers.

unlikely friends.

#yj:intro #✶ — › 𝔞 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪 𝔬𝔯 𝔞 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔢 — ⌜ out of character. ⌟#pls come lov the SINnamon roll

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creativeashproductions · 7 years

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Parallels

Summary: Y/N Winchester and her cousins Dean and Sam have been taken into New York to end a nasty monster. They bring the attention of the Avengers, specifically Bucky, with their behaviour. How will each team react to each other?

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Avengers.

Words: 4069

Warnings: Blood, swearing, mad Steve.

Author: Caitsy

A/N: Potential second part if wanted.

Masterlist

You rush into the gym scanning for Sam, he had come to the gym while they were there for the week because the cold winter was colder than he originally suspected. On the other hand the monster could be using this gym also. Instead you ram into someone in you're frantically searching eyes, they were quickly adjusting from the dark outdoors.

"Shit! Sorry!" You rushed you're words not paying attention to whoever you had bumped into.

"It's okay. Are you alright?" The deep voice gave you an indication that it was in fact a man that you bumped into.

"Yeah-SAM!" You screeched running to the younger Winchester you had worked with for years now. His head snapped up in worry, his inquisitive eyes glancing down to you oddly wet looking spot on the left side of your shirt.

Striding over noticing the other man beside Y/N. His eyebrow raised noticing the man looking nervous and concerned at the same time. By the nearly unnoticeable wet spot he had a feeling their monster had struck her. He couldn't flat out ask with civilians around.

"Hey what's wrong?" Sam questioned placing his hands on her arms.

"The pipe burst and I couldn't get a hold of the plumber!" You frantically said glancing over at the stranger.

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows finding it strange that the woman had came to the gym instead of calling, it felt a weird taste in his mouth at the anger in the tall man's eye and the slight fear the woman had. He had a suspicion that the female was being abused.

"Shit. The plumber didn't answer. How bad?" Sam questioned.

"Really bad.”

"I know someone that could help with that." Bucky cut into their conversation.

"We have it handled." She snapped in her concern.

"Y/N!" Sam snapped at her, "I'm sorry. My cousin and I have been having some troubles with the house we're renting. It's placed some pressure on her shoulders.”

Bucky nodded earning an apologetic expression from Y/N but he did see that the interaction between the cousins was off and almost rehearsed in the expressions and words. Sam couldn't seem to get a read on the man, his eyes held only rich emotions that the Winchesters had felt their entire life. In that moment Sam took a minute to realize how this man was the only one up at 3 am.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Dean!" Y/N screeched as the gruff hunter walked in holding a gun up. Bucky's eyes widened before he quickly regained his composure. Something was very wrong with these people, and he wanted to figure them out. He would need help because he couldn't tell if they were Hydra or not.

"Look man. I'm just a guy that couldn't sleep, I decided to work it out." Bucky replied his arms in the air. His body tilted just a smidge to left, his arm still wasn’t something he was fond of.

The Winchesters all noticed the movement with suspicion that fuelled Dean's finger to twitch towards the trigger. He decided against it with the security cameras and Y/N heated stare poring into the side of his head. With the slight distraction Bucky struck out slamming his foot into Sam's face with enough strength to knock him out. Sweeping his leg out he caught Y/N sending her to the ground with a thump. The last remaining Winchester barely had time to pull the trigger before he was shoved up high on the wall and a knife pressed to his throat. He heard the bullet ricochet before he saw it.

"Who the fuck are you?" Bucky growled into the mans face.

"Let him go!" Y/N screamed throwing a dumbbell at his head. Bucky felt it smack his head with force before he turned his attention to you, "What the fuck?”

"Shouldn’t have done that doll." Bucky stated before he literally threw Dean across the room with a smack. Y/N had never seen something like this before, only the supernatural had the strength needed to do that, "You just can't let it go.”

"Let what go?" Y/N whispered backing up further into the room.

"ME." Bucky screamed grasping her by the throat. Her hand wrapped around the hardness covered by a long sleeve and felt the strange texture.

"I don't know…w-what you're talking about." Y/N gasped seeing black invade her vision, "We can talk civilized can we not?”

Bucky snarled dropping her to the ground when he heard rather than saw his best friend storm in wearing his uniform. His date standing nearby with a gun aimed at the larger man out cold on the ground. Sharon and Steve shared a look as they both walked in enough to kick the weapons that had dropped. Sharon raised an eyebrow at the detailed gun with a gleaming silver finish and white grip.

"Seriously Buck?" Steve rubbed his face, "You have to stop this.”

"He pointed a gun at me!" Bucky exclaimed roughly motioning to the man across the room.

"What about her?" Sharon asked pointing her gun into the females face.

"Agent Y/N Ford." Y/N said reaching into her pocket and swiftly flipping open the ID, "My partners and I are currently undercover for a classified case. I can't go into details about the matter. Can I ask what you're names are and why you're holding a federal agent at gunpoint?”

"Why the hell would three of you be needed?" Sharon questioned.

"Ah. The boys refuse to work without each other, they grew up across the street from each other, and I have the most knowledge on the case. Also I'm still fairly new at his."

"Sammy?" The gravely voice came out weak from the shorter man.

"Shut up." Sam groaned sitting up. He noticed the added people in the room and climbed to his feet, "Dean. We have more people here.”

"Agents. It seems we've got a problem. A bunch of hoodlums decided to nearly put our covers at risk. I can't believe he got you both." Y/N sighed at her 'co-workers' feeling the glare from Dean intensely.

The others stared at the three before the man in the uniform spoke up with conviction, "Okay. I'm sorry but we're going to have to take you in.”

"You want to take in three federal agents? Are you trying to fuck you're life up?" Y/N asked. Sharon smirked at her reply before she herself spoke up.

"Sweetie. I'm a CIA Agent. These two are Avengers. I'm pretty sure we know fakes when we see them. Please don't make me call in-" Cutting herself off she threw three little disk onto them seeing them drop to the ground, "Well I'll have to thank Black Widow for that."

♧ ♢ ♡ ♤

The team assembled in the board room with different emotions given the time it was. Each Avenger was concerned and angry with the lose of sleep on the time they were promised off. Bucky and Steve stood in the front of the room as if they were at attention in the war still. Tony collapsed into a chair first groaning at the headache he already had from the excess alcohol with Rhodey earlier.

"Okay what's going on?" Clint asked leaning forward.

"We have potential Hydra agents in the cell." Bucky stated not looking at the owner of the building.

"Excuse me?" Tony grunted straigthening up, "How did they end up in the cell? Are you two cooking up a plan?”

"Oh that's rich coming from you." Steve muttered ignoring the warning look he received from Natasha, "Buck why don't you explain.”

"I was working at the gym and I came across a confrontation between a male and female claiming to be cousins. They were using phrases and gestures that were too rehearsed to be true. Soon I had another man point a gun at me.”

"You went all nuts again didn't you." Tony stated staring the man down. They didn't notice Steve leave the room with the nod from Nat.

Before anyone could blink three casually dressed people were shoved into chairs roughly. Each sporting an extremely annoyed expression and specially designed cuffs on their hands. All three knew that there was no way they pick them, they were far too advanced for them to figure out. Not to mention they had a group of people stop talking to stare at them all equally annoyed.

"They don't look tough enough." Tony stated climbing to his feet. Bucky raised his hand and for once Tony let him speak.

"Are you from Hydra?" He questioned.

"What the hell is a Hydra?" Dean burst out, "I'll have you know we'll be contacting our superior over this! Who the hell are you freaks?”

A sharp inhale was heard from the quiet brunette at the end of the table. With shame she picked through their heads carefully seeing the truth behind their statement, with respect she only went over the necessary as Sharon brought up a visual.

There on the screen was the mugshots that Charlie had erased for them years ago. The trio stared freaking out internally at the sight. Each Avenger climbed to their feet in caution.

"Not Hydra." Sharon muttered watching their body language, "Definitely not federal agents. They aren't in the system and the last name she gave us is a dud for a female.”

"Who are you?" Sam questioned looking at each of them.

"Avengers." The accent of the silent brunette said, "We save the world from people set against destroying it. I am Wanda."

"Well hello sweetheart." Dean smirked at the female noticing the beauty she held.

Y/N slammed her foot against his leg earning a groan from the man and earning the slight respect from Wanda and Sharon. They noticed quickly that the trio were trained heavily but not by anyone from the government. They weren't enhanced either but Wanda could feel almost a shadow of darkness around each of them. Almost as if feeling her powers the trio looked at her with disgust.

"Looks like we got ourselves a witch." Dean grumbled, "Damn shame.”

Guns cocked as they stared into dozens pointed at their faces. The only unarmed one was Wanda but she had something far more dangerous. A red mist shifted around her fingers. Something the hunters had never seen before in their line of work.

"I'll only ask one more time." Bucky growled getting into their faces, "Who the hell are you?”

"Y/N Winchester. These are my cousins Sam and Dean Winchester." Y/N caved knowing they weren't getting out of this one even with Castiel.

"Y/N! You idiot." Dean hissed at her, "Might as well tell them that we protect them!”

"How?" Nat slammed her hands down on the table allowing her cleavage to cloud the green eyed mans mind. She saw his Adam's apple bob before licking his lips, "We save you from Hydra. A formerly secret organization within the Nazi party of World War 2. How do you think you protect us?”

"We're hunters." The tallest Winchester spoke up, "We hunt the things that go bump in the night. Every monster you can think of we've killed at least once.”

"You haven't." Bucky said walking up next to Nat, "You haven't killed me.”

"What are you." Y/N softly asked not believing the man in front of her.

"A monster." Bucky snarled pulling his glove off and his sleeve up showcasing the relic he had from his Hydra days, "You're saying a bunch of bullshit. Wanda search their minds.”

“Buck-"

"No, go right ahead Spandex." Dean glared over at the man in the ridiculous red, white, and blue uniform. With some oversized Frisbee on his back.

Within seconds of speaking Wanda let her hands flow up and guide the red mist to the trios heads watching their eyes light up red as she went through each and every memory they had. She was astounded to see the amount of pain each Winchester held in their heart and the monsters that roamed around until others like them got to her. The one that surprised her the most, including the Angels, was the start of Apocalypse. How had the Avengers never noticed that? In shock she collapsed into her chair.

"Wanda are you okay?" A voice asked from the doorway. The Winchesters spun to see a red man wearing regular clothing and a weird gem in the middle of his forehead. It was obvious he wasn't a human.

"I am fine." Wanda replied, "They are telling the truth. Beasts roam around us and they don't know about anything that has happened with us.”

"I guess we have a lot to learn from each other." Steve said, "I'm Steve Rogers. Most people know me as Captain America. These are the rest of my teammates. Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton and Vision.”

"Sam Wilson is currently with his family at this moment in time." Nat said rolling her eyes.

Right after each member stated their part of the Avengers earning some jealousy and respect from Dean. They were what he had once seen his Dad as when he was a little kid and was told the story of Steve Rogers. He had always thought it was some stupid story John would use to get him to fall asleep. Mary would lean against the wall smiling before putting her two cents into the story also. The night Mary burnt on the ceiling was the last time he ever head and thought of Captain America.

♧ ♢ ♡ ♤

The Winchesters had been invited to stay in the tower with the team in apology for they way they were brought in. The rooms they had been shown were lavish enough that it was too uncomfortable to be in there long. They had decided a seedy motel was more their style to the disgust of Tony.

The Winchesters had gotten an attached room as they usually did so they had more space and beds. Plus the door was always left open for safety reasons but would close when Dean brought a lady to room. They didn’t expect to be here long anyway, they just had to gank the demon and get out of town.

“Beer?” Dean questioned as Y/N began to put her jacket on.

“Anything else?” Y/N asked raising one of her eyebrows, “Might as well say while I’m in a good mood.”

“I’ll come.” Sam said climbing to his full height, “Might as well stretch my legs.”

Y/N chuckled zipping up the lightweight dark jacket before lifting the french braid out of the back of it. Fall had hit with an unforgiving chill in the last week with leaves falling on the ground. It was her favourite time of the year with the colours and the nice weather.

Both leaving the room Dean stretched out of the bed turning the tv on to watch a show to pass the time. He didn’t feel like ‘researching’ and it wasn’t the right time to get to a bar. He was itching to find the demon and kill it. He was restless when they had nothing to do for a couple of days.

In a store Y/N had managed a snag some medical supplies they were running low on while Sam had collected some waters. The water that ran out of the motel tap wasn’t clear making it hesitating to drink it. Y/N had decided it would be smart just to grab bottles instead. They two had snuck around the store when they noticed Steve picking out some groceries.

“We done?” Y/N whispered peaking around the corner as Steve went into the produce area. Sam hummed nodding as they stood at the check out patiently waiting for the teen to ring their stuff through. The female couldn't be any older than sixteen and was definitely loving the man in front of her.

“Anything else…Mr. Jenkins?” The teen bit her lip as she made eyes at Sam. Sam shifted under the stare as Y/N chuckled.

“We’re fine.” Y/N answered folding her arms as she turned her attention from the magazines. The teen frowned blushing at the older woman in front of her.

“Jenkins?” Steve’s familiar voices questioned confused.

“Oh. Rogers.” Y/N smiled shifting on her feet as the card was approved and shoved into Sam’s wallet, “How are you?”

  “I thought your last-“

“We better go, Dean’s waiting to head out for food.” Y/N grinned grabbing the bag from the checkout and rushing Sam out with her, “It was nice to meet you!”

The Impala was pulling out of the parking lot when Steve got outside frowning at the lies the Winchesters had given the teen.

*Two Weeks Later*

“Dean! Shit.” Y/N growled watching as the eldest Winchester was thrown against he wall by the monster. They had discovered only recently that the demon was in fact a witch that had hidden herself.

The fight was messy with Dean unconscious against a far wall while Sam was already struggling to get to his feet. The gun had been thrown from his hands and quickly acquired by the witch running a finger on it. She was a pretty thing for sure but she was very hard to kill.

“My, my. What a pretty toy you have.” The witch’s prefect red lips pulled back in a snarl, “It’s not really my style but why not?”

The bullet was sent into the shoulder of Y/N resulting in a screech as she fell into a heap. The pain was intense as she felt the witch’s power follow the bullet inside to shift the bullet around. She barely noticed when Sam was knocked out next into a heap too.

“I could have a lot of fun with you.” The witch grinned.

“Go to hell.” Y/N returned. She felt relief when the witch quit with the bullet.

She rushed the witch at a high speed before she released a blood curdling scream as pain flowed into her body. All she could see was red around her as they pain intensified and was too strong to even pass out from. The screams worsened when she felt something sharp rip her from shoulder to shoulder on the front of her body.

The sound aroused both the male hunters in the room as they watched in horror as Y/N was ripped open in front of them. Sam would admit he gagged at the sight as the witch had managed to cause pain with her power and manually with a knife.

“Go to hell.” Dean grunted as he shot in the forehead with his gun.

“Hey, Y/N you’re okay. She’s dead.” Sam soothed the still screaming and heavily bleeding girl.

“Avengers.” Y/N choked out sobbing at the great pain.

“No!”

“Dean! They’re closer than any hospital! They could stabilize her! They have to have a med bay.” Sam snapped lifting the female into his arms.

“Fine!” Dean snapped, “Just hurry.”

With a blood slicked hand Sam pressed in the phone number the Avengers had given them when they had left the Tower. He swallowed hard seeing how much blood was coating both Y/N and him. The phone rang a few times before it was answered.

“Hello?”

“We need help.” Sam shakily said keeping the phone in the crook his neck. His hands were occupied pressing his jacket on the long, deep gash, “We’re injured, too bad to make it to the hospital.”

“How bad?” Steve questioned motioning towards the team, they came into the kitchen from the common room.

“It’s really bad.”

“Okay. How far out?”

“Here.”

In a quick steps Sam and Dean had managed to rush onto the med wing from the help of the AI machine. The team was shocked at the sight of the Winchesters coated in blood and injuries. Dean had arm held by his other against his midsection, it was obviously dislocated and each had a mess of cuts and bruises already. The worst of the unconscious female in Sam’s arms.

“What the hell?” Bucky questioned as the female was deposited on the bed in the medical wing.

He paled when the jacket was removed to show a gash deep enough to show muscle and red went from her face to her lower stomach. In just a few seconds Helen Cho and her team were flying at the room at high speeds. A nurse came to help Dean would was shoved aside with a glare.

“I got it.”

“Sir! You’re shoulder is dis-“

“I know. It’s not the first time.” Dean growled stepping backwards while the team moved further back.

“The Cradle is the only chance.” Helen announced pressing gauze to the severe cut, “What caused this?”

“A knife.” Sam said staring at his red hands, “Jesus.”

Soon the brothers were in the debriefing room where everyone was sitting as Steve stood at the head of the table. His arms were crossed as he stared at Sam wrenching Dean’s arm back into his rightful place.

“Explain now.”

“We’ve been researching the monster that brought us to the city. We thought demon and were definitely not prepared to see a witch instead. She had it out for us since we killed her small coven a couple years ago.” Sam answered looking at Steve, “It was a fight that within half an hour had Dean out against and a wall.”

“Hey! You were out too!” Dean snapped at his younger brother, “Y/N agonized screamed woke us back and we saw the witch dragging a knife slowly in her chest while her power tortured her.”

“It was almost too late when I put a bullet in her head.”

“Witches.” Steve stated staring at them.

“Maybe an enhanced?” Wanda said looking at her fingers.

“No. She gained her magic from a demon.” Sam corrected her.

“Okay.” Steve raised on of his eyebrows, “What about the grocery store? You paid with a card that wasn't yours.”

“The salary of a hunter ain’t good. We gank monsters and don’t receive shit. We gotta live somehow.”

“FRAUD?!” Steve roared, “That’s illegal!”

“We are aware.” Dean growled, “You kill humans and we kill monsters. In this room we may be the better people.

♧ ♢ ♡ ♤

"Are you sure you want to stay?" Dean asked his cousin as Sam shook hands with the Avengers. The group had stayed the last month waiting for Y/N to get back on her feet.

"Yeah." Y/N nodded, "For now anyway. I need time from that witch. I think a break would be a good thing for me. Besides these people should learn some more about our enemies.”

"Only if you're sure." Dean sighed.

"I'll call. Just give me some time." Y/N whispered up at the cousin she considered a brother, "I won't get into trouble.”

"You're a Winchester. Trouble always finds us." Sam said walking up to his family, "I'll miss you Squirt.”

"I'll miss you too." Y/N hugged him, "Six months is all I'm asking for.”

"Fine but don't you go become an Avenger on us." Dean smirked at her before slinging his arms around her for a quick hug, "Put us on speed dial and we'll come running.”

Y/N nodded watching her boys watch towards the elevator and hopefully not out of her life forever. She had been training to be a hunter since her Aunt Mary had died and finally become a full one when her Uncle took her out when she was ten. She wanted to see how normal life could be with a group of people that served a similar purpose. Not to mention the tall, dark and handsome man that she had taken to bed a week ago. Bucky had talent for sure and she couldn't wait to see what else he knew.

"It's not too late." Bucky said wrapping his metal arm around her. Pressing his lips to the side of her head, and feeling his heart ache at the thought of her leaving.

"I know. The thing is, we Winchesters had a habit of finding each other again whether we want to or not. I won't be able to get out of the hunting life and when it comes knocking. I'll be ready."

#sam winchester imagines #dean winchester imagines #bucky barnes imagines #avengers imagines #steve rogers imagines

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coysgeorge · 5 years

Text

Welcome to my brain.

Right so this is weird. For years I’ve suffered with mental health issues. It all started when I was 11 years old, that’s when I realised something wasn’t quite right. I’ve never liked change. Never. I have a routine that I don’t like to break, for those who are close to me they might think I’m one of the laziest and laid back people when it comes to life I’m not. It all started with the process of moving from primary school to secondary school. I remember the first week of senior school so clearly. My mum really wanted me to go to this school called Deanes in a mainly middle class area, I really didn’t fancy it. However she was insistent that I go there. And I got in. I’m certain to this day that’s what triggered all this off. So here I am, a boy aged 11 originally from Edmonton North London (one of the poorest and most crime ridden areas in the UK) who’s been raised on a council estate going to a School where kids were discussing their parents hot tub. The first day of senior school I knew I didn’t fit in. All the other kids knew I was different, I was sat there overweight in a blazer far too big for me, in shoes that were £20 from Tesco with a Afro, whilst all the other kids had Kickers, new haircuts, talking about their parents hot tubs whilst my family had 6 of us in a 3 bedroom semi detached home in Southend. I walked out and went straight to my old primary school by 12pm to confide in my old teacher Mr Martin just to simply be in surroundings I’m comfortable in. This is where it all started. As the months went by, things got worse. I was getting bullied for my weight, my clothes, my mobile phone etc. Nothing that I couldn’t handle, but being a 11 year old lad it still got on top of me. Then the worse thing imaginable happened to me and my family. My Nan, got diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Now we knew something was up with her, she wouldn’t recognise me, my siblings, her children and most hearbreaking of all my grandad. Within a year my Nan was bed ridden, couldn’t walk, couldn’t feed herself, could barely string a sentence together. This is when shit hit the fan for me, I would literally walk out of school. Go missing for hours, the worse time was when a police helicopter was actually deployed to look for me, social services got involved because they didn’t believe that I was just depressed. They were certain some sort of abuse was going on. It wasn’t. My parents were always great to me. Always made sure me, my brothers and my sisters got what we want. Always. Despite being so poor growing up. The guilt I felt was unbelievable. But for whatever reason I couldn’t sleep, when I did sleep I would literally sob myself into exhaustion then wake up 2 hours later and beg my mum to not let me go to school because all I wanted to do was stay home incase something went wrong with Nan, I was over eating to the point I was a 40 inch waist at age 12. I was literally hoping I wouldn’t wake up the next day.

Then one day I woke up at 6AM and thought that’s it, I’m done, I’m ending it. So I went out to my back garden, grabbed some rope from my dads shed and walked to a Belfairs woods which was only down the road from me. I googled how to hang myself. I was gonna do it, all the way there I wasn’t crying, I wasn’t sad, I felt relief. Happy that in less than 30 minutes this pain will literally be gone. I won’t have to face anything. My best friend, my Nan not recognising me and looking at me like a stranger, the kids at school who wouldn’t even speak to me, this constant sadness will all be gone. I would have nothing to fear, nothing to face just literally a eternity of nothing. So I get to the woods, find a location, find a branch that could hold my weight, and started digging in my bag for a the rope. Then literally out of nowhere this woman, maybe mid 60’s appears with her Jack Russle, and smiles at me the dog approaches me as dogs do so I petted it. She asked me why I’m out so early, I told her some bullshit that I’m going on a detour to collect my papers for my paper round. I didn’t even have a paper round at the time. Then for some reason I just decided, I could easily cause this for myself but if that woman was literally 10 minutes later she would’ve found me hanging from a tree. I didn’t think, but I couldn’t go ahead with it. I couldn’t let someone else live with that for the rest of their lives. So I left, was I greatful for that woman? At the time no, I was angry if anything knowing I’m gonna have to go back to reality after she made me question my conscious after a measly 2 minute conversation that I lied through my teeth in. Now looking back on it. I owe her my life. It’s as simple as that.

So a year passes by, my depressions still there then my mum calls me in the kitchen one day “George you’ve not been yourself and I signed you on the waiting list for belfairs (the secondary school all my primary school friends went to) a year ago, they called today you’re starting Monday” so for the first time in a year I smiled legitimately. The first smile I’ve legitimately not had to force in a year/two years. I’m going back to school with all my pals. I’m elated. I spend the next 3 years being the class clown, getting shit grades, drinking down the park and just being normal. Yes my Nan was ill. But by this time I’ve accepted that she’s gone. The woman laying in that bed wasn’t my Nan. It was a illness that stole my nan’s body. And when she died, yes I was heartbroken but I was also relieved. Relieved that she’s free from any pain and relieved that my grandad can go back to having a life rather than spending every minute of the day caring for her. And hats off to my grandad, he never put her in a home. He was with her every day in his house looking after her. He’s my absolute idol and if I’m half the man he is then I’ll die a very happy man.

So fast forward a few years, I’m struggling for work, second guessing what grades I got on my CV because instead of going to results day me and my friend John went to smoke a packet of benson and hedges down the local park. Not the best life choice but not one u regret.

So I’ve never been good with women, I’m 21 at this point. 22 stone. Bleached blonde hair for some reason. A probably the most undesirable Male on earth. The only 2 t-shirts I wore were this Mohammed Alli t shirt and a smelly blink 182 t shirt with a alien on it. Still suffering with depression but it wasn’t as crippling as before, I had good days, I had bad days. But then finally I get a match on tinder (I didn’t get many back then as you can imagine) so I popped up to this girl expecting she’d reply back then boom, next thing you know I’m in a relationship, good right? Probably completely the opposite. I’ve never been so miserable in my life. I’m not gonna go too deep into the relationship as I’m sure she’s moved on with her life and in a weird way, despite all she put me through in those 8 months. I hope she’s happy. But in those 8 months I self harmed, fought suicidal thoughts daily and couldn’t wait to be dead again. So I’m back to square one again. One day I broke it off with her, I go home. I’m happy again, so I have a job that pays good money, surrounded by my family again and free to do what I like again.

So for those of you who know me, always know how anti cocaine I am. So I’m in a new job. Top sales man out of a team of 60 people. Taking home silly money for a telesales role and I’m drinking. And when I say I’m drinking I’m drinking when I wake up in the morning, I had a vodka bottle stuffed down the side of my bed. I would put whiskey in a flask for my lunch break and put a whole packet of chewing gum in my mouth to get rid of the stench. I’m smoking probably 10 joints a day. I’m a zombie. I wasn’t thinking straight at all. I was having sex with any woman that would show me attention, desperately avoiding a relationship so I’m not emotionally hurt or abused again. I’m a mess. I have a alcohol addiction, then I probably develop 2 of the worse addictions going for the next few months of my life. Cocaine and gambling. So it all started with a night out with some friends from work, being a sales office I knew there would be cocaine but I’ve always had the strength to say no but for whatever reason this time I said yes. I took one line. Didn’t feel anything. Took another, so I said to my mate “is this literally it? I need more because it’s not doing anything” so my mate goes “we’ll get 2 grams for £110, go halves and I promise you you’ll be buzzed more than weed has ever done for you” so I’m sold, if something is better than weed. Why not? So we go back to my colleagues flat at 2am. It’s a shit hole. In a tower block, his Girlfriend sat in the front room furious with him and storms off to bed. We’re listening to house music waiting for this cocaine to be delievered to his door. I fucking hate house music. Half hour later he gets a call from his dealer saying he’s outside. He collects the two grams and he got another two for him and his mrs tomorrow. I ended up giving him the money for 3 of the grams and I’m snorting it off of my work pass still in the clothes I wore at work the day before. I felt like the dogs fucking bollocks. Little did I know at the time I’m sat in a council flat surrounded by a load of filth snorting cocain listening to house music and playing PES. Not even Fifa. PES. I’m the lowest of society right now. But I feel like the Wolf of Wall Street. So I go into work the next day same clothes without even realising how relentless the next 4 months of my life would be. I was spendinga collective of £300 a week on cocaine and weed £150 a week on gambling. I went to the casino with my friend one night, I was so out of hand my friends left me. I lost £2130 in one night, the only reason why I left is because they closed the bar. The people who are closest to me don’t know about that. Not my mum. Not my dad. Not my friends not Sacha. I was a monster.

So the depression is back and in full swing, I lose my job, I was in the most toxic relationship imaginable, I lose my sense or will power all in the space of a year. I’ve been clean of cocaine for 7 months now. I know I won’t touch the shit again. I still have the odd bet. But nothing quite like £2130 in one night. But for some reason it all came crashing down on me the last month or so. I don’t know why, I have Sacha who would literally do anything for me. I’m still getting used to it, she sends me postcards and makes me go get cringe passport photos with her in the photo booth in shops. But I love it, I love her. She’s literally my everything. You’d think that would be enough to cure depression? No it’s not. It’s a illness. A illness I wish there was a cure too. This last month I’ve struggled badly, one night Sacha was in bed next to me and I had to go down to the bathroom and cry for 15 minutes. I don’t know why. I wish I knew why. But it’s time for me to take the right steps and do something about it and get my life back on track. Financially I’m very fortunate at the minute. So are my parents. I’ve got nothing to worry about anymore. I have a strong family, strong friends and a unbelievably strong girlfriend who I worship the ground she walks on.

I’m getting better, will I be depression free one day? Who knows, probably not. Will I be happy all the time? No. But It’s time for me to “man up” as the ignorant people say and take the appropriate steps. I go back to full time hours next week at my job after having 2 weeks signed off with “depression” and going back part time to ease myself in. I’m slowly getting there. I don’t know what the point of this vlog was really, but I feel like it’s helped. And who knows maybe it’ll help someone? For years I’ve been (without sounding big headed) a well know household name on Twitter amongst the spurs community known as a weird vegan guy who doesn’t take anything seriously, but maybe someone will take the time to read this and think “hey if that guy who jokes about 24/7 is like this maybe I’m not so weird at all”

Peace and love my dudes

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